#adhd culture : i am so tired all the time

[adhd-culture-is]

Sorry for the heavy one but. sometimes Adhd culture is so sick & tired of being sick & tired.

Not being able to do the things you want & need to Exclusively because you want & need to. Always feeling crippled with indecision. Feeling humiliated and childish because you keep up with the demands of adulthood like your peers. Being seen as stupid because people can’t understand there’s a difference between scattered & dumb, because functionally, too many thoughts to express clearly looks the same as no thoughts at all.

Being taken less seriously for symptoms, and less seriously yet when you tell them it’s because of adhd. Even people you love will manage to hit a sore spot in good-natured teasing, and yknow, you don’t want people to think your sensitive or walk on eggshells around you. You don’t want people to hide what they really think of you. But by god that rejection sensitivity starts rejection sensitivity-ing. And you think about it for weeks.

Love all the positive posts. Hate to be the doom-and-gloom ask. But god sometimes it’s hard

.

[donghuamuqing]

Beating the fuck out this geography report rn

[umbra-borealis]

Dimitri Lousteau is the most 'human' villain in Sly Cooper

Hello and welcome to my TEDtalk, I've been meaning to type out my yapping for a long time but always talked myself out of it because I mean, this is coming from a guy with Dimitri for a pfp and I figured people would just take it as a guy on tumblr simping for a weird lizard but no. The reasons I care for Dimitri the way I do goes pretty deep and I could sit here and talk about it point by point but to save us both some time (and because I am DEAD tired) I made a graph!

I used Luciano, my little sona, to personify myself in this.

I focused mainly on formative things and similarities in personality without inserting headcanons, even if based on traits or even symptoms I recognize. Most of these are rather straight forward but some run a little deeper. The funny pattern here (maybe aside from the drug thing lol) is that there's a high likelihood that you reading this right now can at least relate to just one or two things on those list and while you could argue that you could do the same with other characters, I picked these traits because in my opinion they ride that thin line between just relatable enough to apply to a lot of people, but not too superficial to be on the same an interest or hobby. Anyone can get upset when angry, it's HOW you express that anger that says something about you as a person for instance.

I also want to quickly mention that yes, a LOT of characters in Sly Cooper are very human, but I said 'villain' for a reason. After all I don't think your average college kid can relate to Contessa, Rajan or Panda King because mass brainwashing, destroying villages and being a literal drug lord are bordering on supervillain and that's not what Dimitri is. A supervillain can be relatable to a degree as well, but it makes sense that the Panda King had to have a whole Moment TM (several really) to come to terms with the kind of person he allowed himself to become. When we see Dimitri in Sly 3, he seems to have already done this perhaps because his sins aren't nearly as great. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I'll insert a read-more here but I'd like to ask you to keep reading anyway if you can because my biggest pet peeve is that Dimitri is seen as a dumb, sleazy (and old??? which is dumb and I got math to back up that he's not in fact in his 40s during Sly 2 lmao) lizard who's only good as a level 1 boss for beginners to learn the game and all he's remembered for, though fair, is his manner of speech and not what he's REALLY saying. None of you ever picked up on what he was throwing down so I'm going to spell it out for you.

(PS I have ADHD and it's 3 AM so go easy on me this is coming from the HEART baby)

To make it easier on myself and you, I'm going to start sectioning the word soup in my head into four categories based on Dimitri's enterprises and roles and just kinda... waffle on about my thoughts regarding them. I'll start superficial and work my way down to the Deep Shit. Feel free to skip around to whatever interests you since I include some lore too, though changes are you're already aware of said lore.

Lets start with:

Dimiti, the club manager.

Nightclubs, and the people that run them tend to have a bit of a sleazy stereotype attached to them, which I suppose is fair. Though a large chunk is attributed to movies and other media, there were in fact some really large and important movements surrounding nightlife and club culture. Just look up the Club Kids if you want to go down a rabbit hole, in short they were a fairly large group of partiers from the 90s who contributed a LOT to fashion and art movements as well as being generally very fluid when it came to gender. Unfortunately that too would eventually be plagued by drugs and members getting addicted to drugs. Again, I digress.

Dimitri is seen partying in the intro of his chapter in Sly 2,

which is a nice touch because not only is it in-character, it's something that would actually happen. Owners of a popular joints would be popular or just enigmatic figures that would regularly get subjected to patrons schmoozing up to them. Some weren't a fan but there were many that soaked up the attention, bought rounds on the house when business was good, maybe get a little TOO cocky with confidence. It's a bit too simple to look at Dimitri in relation to all this info and say 'no doi he was in it for the money it checks out.' because if you spend enough time in his club or just, in the safe house after placing the bug there's signs of more going on.

We KNOW Dimitri is a criminal and he did his whole art forgery business on the side, or maybe it's the other way round? Either way he seemed fairly confident in his skills with this. His biggest risk being that time he tried to marry someone over a STATUE. (Really dude?) So then why was he so damn paranoid? While you could argue that he was sippin' his own supply I don't think that's what it was. He was so paranoid he played his music super loud in almost all areas of the club JUST to keep his security detail awake through-out night and day, whenever his club wasn't open to the public. To compensate he would promise them they could all 'retire early'. with that fake confidence chuckle that masks a sense of 'haha please don't abandon me'

So, ever heard of Imposter Syndrome? Because his behavior as a club owner SCREAMS it. He wasn't JUST cocky and sleazy, he was simply fitting in with the culture of the time because *everyone* was overly confident, over confidence was something to be admired, something to look at and go 'yeah that guy has it figured out' while in reality most struggled with something, anything. So what is Imposter Syndrome? To keep it short and blunt, the overwhelming feeling that you're not worthy of your accomplishments. We know that Dimitri is a 'failed' artist who turned to forging art to make money, it could just be a sense of guilt telling him something he's not ready to hear so he starts overcompensating and this insecurity bleeds into Sly 3 after Sly puts him in his place. His success with this insanely toxic coping mechanism lands him a new enterprise.

Dimitri, the Spice distributor.

Rather than going chronological, I'm going through the 'layers' that is this lizard. So if his career as a club owner is the tip of the ice berg with some neat little facts and info about the stereotype he conveys, this subject is a tier deeper. Dimitri the Spice distributor is Dimitri the next level criminal, or so he thinks. When you think about it, it's pretty strange that they gave Dimitri some Clockwerk parts at all. He was never mentioned by the other Klaww Gang members and thus seemingly not missed either when he was the first to get busted. In fact, nobody was upset that their DISTRIBTOR was arrested, putting a hold on their primary income... or so we thought until the Contessa was revealed to have a rather large and lucrative side hussle Dimitri probably could never compete with. Dimitri was expendable, sure he had a role and he played it well but he was also a loss they could cope with without much harm done to their wallets or their pride.

I think about it often, Dimitri in his jail cell, maybe hearing from another criminal or even his lawyer after the whole Clock-La thing about the full scope of the plan. He might've gotten a reduced sentence for ratting the other members out because if you think back to his legendary conversation with Sly he really doesn't seem to know what he's talking about. ("What is it with clocks bro!?") All of Dimitri's other crimes aside, he was young and naive, Sly 3 reveals he came from some form of poverty as well so it makes sense that he'd chase easy money. That's all it was though, he wanted the money and the fame, he didn't want to brainwash an entire city, he didn't know about the giant robot owl. He's once again left feeling like a failure, this time one that was easy to fool and all the confidence he had as a criminal would've seeped out of him, starting this weird cycle of him trying something only to be caught breaking the law and ending up where he began.

Like I said all of this would bleed into Sly 3 and it's pretty damn neat that for how little lines he had and how little he was on screen, they managed to convey this well in my opinion. By the time we reach Sly 3, most of us don't remember him as a Spice distribtor at all. Which leads me to...

Dimitri the Artist.

Being an artist is a pretty broad term and while we know Dimitri as a painter, I think he applies his artist mindset in way, way more. He's genuinely creative an smart, he thinks out of the box to protect his secrets and to cover his tracks. His identity as an artist is also his most vulnerable and 'real' self. Folks will say art is about self expression and usually mean conveying complex topics with pretty pictures or thought provoking stories, however it can be apparent in smaller ways too and the most obvious thing for Dimitri is his business in forging art. Think about it this way:

Picture you don't speak a LICK of english, you're from a lower in-come family or even straight up poverty but you grew up on tall tales of your grandpa being a total badass who lived freely and seizes every opportunity he could to make money... or take it rather but you get the idea. Your grandpa used his talents as a diver and deep down, you know what your talent is. It's art. So you somehow manage to move across the world to Paris, go to an art school work your ass off to develop your own style, your own identity and when it came to making a name for yourself you were rejected super hard. You're now probably in debt, in a foreign country and all you're known for is being the art community's clown.

One thing that gets overlooked is that Dimitri's paintings aren't actually that bad.

He very clearly knows the basics quite well, he's using color theory to shade and add depth but as he goes from student to independant artist, he breaks away from the basics and develops a style. His color use becomes brighter, he adds little stars just because why not? He likes em! This style is PERFECT for the nightlife club scene he ends up in down the line of course, but in the world of pretentious parisian artist hipsters? Absolutely not. So while he's just being himself, he's shown that that isn't allowed, that wont get him success. It reminds me of artists who say shit like 'I'll just learn to draw furry porn I guess!' thinking it's a guaranteed money printer (heh) and whether they enjoy making that kind of content is irrelevant, which leads to burn out or in case they DO find success, imposter syndrome. The dread that you do not deserve this recognition because it's not something you're actually that passionate about, not something you want to be known for. Say what you will about Dimitri but he never compromised. And while the cutscene shows shoddy painted depictions of classical paintings, I think this was more to illustrate him forging paintings to a younger audience than imply he was a bad painter as just before those crappy version, we see what's probably the REAL version he would've painted and sold.

This is conjecture on my part but I have to believe it because well, art forgery is HARD. You'd have to actually be a freaking genius to do it and sell it for so high, you can just afford what is basically a freaking opera house in PARIS and turn it into a nightclub. Also did I mention Dimitri just, HAS a ~mansion~ in Monaco? Because he does.

I've also always liked that scene for the expression on his face. It's smug, it's so full of petty, passve aggressive anger, a stubborness to admit defeat and instead to just 'prove a point' even if that point is lost to the means being SUPER illegal. That being sad, I don't think any of us feel bad over this man stealing a couple thousand from billionaire pockets. Billionaires that probably have their own little illicit ways to get that cash. Funny... It seems Sly isn't the only one who steals from other criminals.

And you might've stuck around this long and gone 'Umbra, get to the fucking POINT already." to which I have good news.

Dimitri, the Marine Iguana.

My favorite part, feel free to skip ahead to this headline if you want.

So who is this guy anyway? Well, from Sly 3 we see that he has a mother, a sister and his grandparents and that's about it as far as we can tell.

Just look at that smile! He looks like your average, awkward teenager. No struggling on the streets from what we can tell, no bullying by bigger kids, no weird sociopathic tendencies, no childhood trauma or grudges. The events that changed him seem to all have happened after he left for Paris. Sure it aint much to go off of but even if his life was hard, it seemed he was close with his grandfather and got to know him for a decent couple of years. Marine Iguanas are, like the name implies, an aquatic species of reptile. They're well adapted to land but due to low food availability in-land, they migrated to the beaches and started living off of sea algae, learning how to dive in the process. Even in Sly 2 the devs included plenty of references to Dimitri's affinity for water. The windows in the dancefloor area of his club are partially submerged, there are two massive aquariums in his office, he lives on a boat (or hides there anyway) and has several water features but inside and outside his club.

When you take a step back and look at all that, Dimitri is... just a guy who left his home country, his family, to follow a dream only to have that dream shatter and he's left to pick up the pieces all alone, making poor choices in the process. Choices based on anger and a broken heart. And the truth of the matter is that ALL of this, could happen to anyone. Granted in varying different ways as not everyone's life is the same and not everyone will make the same choices but I think many of us had a dream career as a kid only to become a jaded adult who thinks it's unrealistic or only does that thing as a hobby, I think there's many of us that remember the moment our hearts were broken and we realized the cold, unforgiving nature of real, adult life.

We see the effect of ALL of this come to a head in Sly 3, when at first he's not sure if he should still be mad at Sly for putting him in jail while he's currently the only guy he knows that COULD break him back out of jail as well. He still overcompensates, he's still overly confident and he put himself in that cell but still, he honors his word and helps Sly and Bentley find their friend. Then in Holland we see him behind a bar, seemingly as if he's actually got a job as a bartender there. Heck, he DOES have a job! He's the announcer! He may not super like it but he's being humbled by it all the same and when Sly comes for help a second time, the bravado is gone for a moment. He expresses genuine fear, not necessarily for his own safety but for losing a job, for *failing*. Of course the right answer in this scenario is to hype up his confidence again. And because Sly has proven himself to be trustworthy in the past he figures he can trust him with a favor of personal, sentimental value. If anyone would understand how it feels to have your family name dishonored and an heirloom stolen, it's Sly and Dimitri knows that damn well.

I think this is about as real as Dimitri can get, aside from the whole scuba gear thing. I know the gang is disguised but I don't think Dimitri is at all. I think that's just... what he likes to wear, further making me think he's just a regular guy with so much heart ache he lashe out in some pretty vile ways. Tortured artists are known to do some crazy shit after all. And while he continues to be his funny eccentric self we know him to be, he starts to have his first real moments of genuine care and loyalty while a part of the Cooper Gang. He tells Bentley he 'has his own flavor' which is his way of telling him that he's unique an valid the way he is. He dives after Sly's cane in VERY dangerous waters, risking injury or even his life, no questions asked. He sends Bentley postcards and letters to let his friend know he's safe and doing well. But perhaps something that hits me harder than any of that, is how angry and shocked Dimitri looks upon Sly's 'retirement announcement'.

Here he was thinking he made a friend out of Sly, and just like that he was gone. It makes me wonder if he held onto that grudge or not but a part of me likes to imagine that he didn't. I think his time with that gang made him realize that although he might not understand and he might be upset, it's not all about him. If anything he silently continued the rivalry by seeing how many girls he could cram into one post card with him to one up Sly's act of running off with a girl himself or perhaps he took it as a sign to make a career switch as well. Either way, Dimitri ended up changing for the better, he became himself in the end. A sweet, goofball iguana who loves the ocean and loves to paint. Making money became a nice bonus rather than his main focus.

Coming from a similar, rough background, having gone to therapy and trying to find my place in the world, this gives me hope. Hope that if I look hard enough, I can find my niche too and that being myself is the best I can be. If you read all this, thank you. I fgured it was best to just get it ALL out at once. I hope it was a fun read or made you look at Dimitri a little differently.

[donnerpartyofone]

The little pink brain surrounded by stars and flowers at the end of my computer search bar tells me that it is World Brain Health Day, which is insane but maybe that's appropriate. This was a great year to get my ADHD diagnosis and prescription considering the Very Complicated Things that are happening (mostly fine, just A LOT). I have also become aware that the dose of medical meth that I'm on is helping to manage my severe chronic depression, which is pretty awesome since I have tried what feels like "everything" and nothing really works without some gruesome side effect. The main side effect in this case turns up because I'm working a (roughly) 4 days on, 3 days off schedule as recommended by my doctor to avoid building up a tolerance, and I have begun to notice that on the 2nd-or-so day off I have a bit of a snap-back effect that plunges me into a pit of infinite darkness. It helps to remember that when unmedicated I am OFTEN plunging into a pit of infinite darkness, so this is essentially normal. The most positive version of being unmedicated is that I'm at least "pretty depressed" most of the time, and probably not getting as much done, just schlorping around in a general malaise. Just the getting things done is good for my self-esteem anyway. Work helps too, oddly; when I am completely consumed by a big urgent project, it is hard to find the time and energy to fantasize about being dead. Of course obsessive work causes other kinds of wear and tear, but their negativity is less immediately obvious.

Today I am doing the Extremely Complicated training process to write for this pop culture website you have probably heard of. When I was picked to do this I thought, "This is probably too much work for not enough money," and now I'm realizing that it is actually WAY too much work for not NEARLY enough money. But it's good for someone like me while I still don't have a real job, so I'm coping with this ordeal of doing the online training, thinking I'm done, doing my first assignment, realizing there was way more of the online training but I just didn't click the right button or something, revising my assignment, submitting it, realizing there's still MORE stuff I should have fixed and racing through the assignment making little changes and clicking Save after every single one of them never knowing when somebody's is going to start evaluating it, and just praying for death the best. Then at the same time I heard back from an event organizer who totally refused to communicate with me for the last two months so I just cancelled on them like two weeks ago, and now they're telling me they're so sorry and can we please do the event, and I have to have an annoying back-and-forth with the tricky third party this is dependent on, and do all this other stuff I'm suddenly too tired to describe. And THEN AT THE SAME TIME AS THAT I got invited to write more writing for the super awesome company that sometimes publishes me, also for not enough money on the hour but they're apologetic about that and the writing matters to me (and so does the company). And this is all great but my stomach has turned into a rock and my back muscles are fossilizing and I'm in breathe-on-purpose mode and I'm regretting how much coffee I drank and I wish I could calm down with a beer or even a joint or something, but the beer will actually increase my meth uptake and the joint will add to my anxiety in this state, and so I just have to grind my teeth through this until the day is done. I wish I could play for you guys the earsplitting power tool sound from right next door that has been echoing through the neighborhood since 8 o'clock this morning, just as like the OST to this whole experience, but you'll just have to imagine it! I also meant to apply for Real Jobs today, but now it seems clear that that's not going to happen until tomorrow. The End...FOR NOW.

[docholligay]

Going through someone's blog and seeing two posts, like...4 days apart ? Of:

Post a: neurotypical people don't understand how much of a struggle it is to listen to them talk about stuff I don't care about :( I wish it was socially acceptable to tell them I'm not interested, ever.

Post b: honestly hurts so much when you can tell someone doesn't care about your special interest. :(

I just want to cup your face and go, "please reread those and let's talk about social kindness"

I did block them, I think I am reaching a friggin... point break over here. I have been weird all my life, I was an EXTREMELY lonely child, and if someone wanted to tell me about their pet lizard I would have died happy, and if they had listened to me talk about the time Kate Harony burned down a barn to get doc out of prison, my tiny child heart would have burst. Like, that's give and take.

I've been trying to express this deep deep SCRATCH of irritation for weeks now, and I think a closer step to it, is... neurotypical, if we believe anyone is, people, also have feelings and needs and preferences. They ALSO get to decide what they can and can't live with.

I have a pretty classic and overwhelming strain of ADHD. Though, I feel less and less like saying the word for it matters, and get closer and closer to identifying as Fucking Weird. My mother is broadly neurotypical. She gets to have her feelings be hurt if I don't want to hear about her and her boyfriend's day at Costco. That's what she did with her day. She wants to tell me. I owe her that if I want to talk about my run, for example. I listen to jetty talk about coding even though I legitimately don't understand. I try and follow along!

I get tired of the idea that you don't ever have to put effort into relationships, and if you do, they aren't good relationships. And this attendant idea that being nice is masking behavior when it's you, but it's just kindness when it's other people doing it.

If it is true that you don't owe anyone anything, then the reverse is also true. No one owes you anything. This is not how I want to live.

There are things I do that are basically harmless: I have a lot of trouble sitting still, I'm twitchy and startle easily, and a million other small things that as it turns out I'm actually not going to mention because I don't like attention being drawn to them and i hate it when people notice, and I know they do.

None of those things really affect other people.

There are also things I do that are anywhere from annoying to harmful: I forget things, I interrupt people,* I sometimes zone out and lose the thread of whatever was going on.

If I love people, and I want them to love me, I have to treat them with that love as much as is possible. If I forget something, and make someone feel rejected, that is true whether or not I can pin a diagnosis to their lives. I hate to say it, but, "treat people as you would like to be treated" is often a very good guideline. Do you want someone to listen to you talk about the video game you really love? Then you should listen to them talk about Crossfit. Or, I guess the secret third option is, maybe you don't want to be friends, but that, too, is a choice.

I've been working with my three year old on conversation, and we've come up with things you can ask people if you'd like to get to know them better. Her current favorites are "What's your favorite animal?" and "what's your favorite color of crayon?" I think these are both great topics for a three year old. I want to teach her that if she wants people to talk to her and be engaged with her, she will have to give them the same.

This is true of everyone. Everyone has feelings. Everyone has interests and thoughts and preferences. I cannot emphasize enough how important I think it is to remember that life is a chorus, and none of us are the soloist. We are here for each other. Other people are not your backing vocals.

*this is also a cultural issue, though. I don't actually experience problems with this in some circles.

[greentrickster]

So something good that started in my life last December was that I stumbled into a bit of luck and now have a deal with a nearby geek culture shop to sell plush mages I make. This was extremely fortuitous, because I created the design and concept back in 2017, had made about ten before forcing myself to stop, and, other than gifting one to a friend, still had them all, and was planning to find a holiday donation bin for a charity that accepted handmade stuff, because I was tired of them taking up space in my room. Like literally the only reason I still had them was because life was hectic and I kept forgetting to go check for where any local donation bins were.

This is very exciting, the owner's super nice and helped me set some stuff up so I'm selling on consignment, which means I only get paid when someone actually buys one, but I get a bigger cut of the money when they do.

My dudes, I have an income again.

It's teeny-weeny and irregular, but I have one, and, almost more importantly, a bunch of them sold during and right after the holiday rush, so I get to make more, and it's giving me something to actually do besides working on my mental issues and trying to fill my time while I gain the mental health and stability to get, you know. An actual job. I'm currently making a few more to put in the store, then I'm going to focus on making extra stock to have available for when the local anime convention (and it's stale, stale vendor's hall) arrives this spring.

Not only that, it means that I can make as many of these things as I want for now! And while it takes about a day to make one mage, I'm flexing hard on my status as a professional ADHD haver by having three or four on the go at once, but in different stages of completion. So if I feel like sewing I can one on this one, but if I want to do some pinning I can work on that one, and the third one's ready to finish stuffing and assembling whenever I feel like it, now I want to take a break to watch anime, oooo~ sewing mood again-!

Like, this is in no way I can turn this into an actual career, just because, like I said, it takes about a day to make one from scratch, going at a pace that's both productive and physically healthy for me and also, given that they're about twenty inches tall, made of primarily minky fabric, and being done by hand, that means that I am selling them for nowhere near what they're worth, because people wouldn't be willing to pay that much. Like, the minimum wage where I currently live is (a ridiculous) $7.50 an hour. If I made one of these guys in six hours, that would mean they'd need to cost $45 just to cover my time, never mind materials and the fact that this is skilled labour, and that is not the price on the tag, let alone my cut. They look deceptively simple for all the tricks and techniques that go into one (never mind the fact that minky is expensive fabric, the craft safety eyes I use are special-ordered and very good quality, and, oh yes, these little fellows are machine washable). I literally cannot make a livelihood doing this.

But, like I also said, it's giving me something creative to do that isn't just more reading, writing, and gaming. I love doing all those things, but this is a kind of physical activity that I've needed in my life, and making something physical is so different than writing, with the wonderful bonus that minky fabric is one of my favorite textures! As long as I'm strategic about my acquisition of materials, I'm not going to be losing money on this, and while it's something I think is going to end up paying dividends more in my mental health than in my wallet, I will be earning money for this. I'm getting paid to make plushies to my heart's content (or until I run out of materials for the moment) while watching anime/youtube and working on my mental health, and, for now, that's not only enough, it feels really good!

[purpleopossum]

I'm Tired

For a long time I've said that I don't need a coming out. That I'm bi, but I won't ever date a woman (because I want a more traditional path out of life), so accepting that is just for me. I came out to my mom and my sister. My mom was great, for a conservative woman of her age... my sister said "No you're not" and not only blamed my time attending a woman's college (did not make me gay. In fact I hardly knew what gay people were at that time in my life) but also said that gay people don't exist. All lesbians are just either traumatized or predatory. I dropped the subject, and didn't argue. So I went back into my closet, though I told myself that I wasn't, and stayed there. I didn't realize that a glass closet is still a closet, and it's not much space in which to make a life. I have now been "out," staring through the walls of my glass closet, for many years. I have told myself that I don't envy the others dancing in the sunshine, that I want a husband, and kids born the ordinary way. A little while ago I bought a necklace from wal-mart, a little crystal butterfly that wasn't purposeful pride merch, it just happens to be pink, blue, and purple. I thought it was a bit silly, after all I don't need anything to proclaim my sexuality, I know it... but wow. I get it now guys! I get the appeal of the merch! It isn't obvious, kind of a "stealth" pride flag but it feels so good to wear it, especially since I can wear it around my sister without her knowing what it means. It takes the edge off when she says something insanely homophobic. I was at a Dollar Tree and they had Pride socks. I bought all of them. It felt amazing when the butch manning the counter lit up, talking excitedly about how she had already gotten those socks for herself and as gifts for her friends. I am 27 now; I know my own mind. I have dated only two men in my life, and slept with neither for purity culture/waiting for marriage/don't want to get pregnant out of wedlock reasons. I have also realized that having kids is not something that particularly appeals to me. I like kids, I wouldn't mind adopting, but I don't think I want to be pregnant. I don't even know if I would be a good parent with my mental issues. This removes the main reason I was really only looking at men. And also... I just want to date a woman. I want to possibly marry a woman. I have barely seen a single good m/f relationship in my entire life. I am getting sicker and sicker of listening to my sister's homophobia in silence (I have said things. You cannot argue with her. She is right and you are wrong. This is law) The glass walls are clear, but stiflingly tight. I want to break free. I told my mom, the only person I am actually, really out to, that my bisexuality isn't hypothetical anymore, that I think I might actually want to pursue a gay relationship. She took it... okay. I'm kind of worried that it's straining her acceptance to imagine me actually bringing a woman home. I'm 27 now. I know my own mind. God has been very good to me, guiding me and pulling me down the road to where I need to be, even when I resisted. He gave me the time I needed to get my life together and figure everything out. I am very grateful for all He has done, and I know that I just have to trust Him for the rest of the journey. I want to be the person He intended for me to be, and that means living as my whole self. I don't want to lose my family; they are all I have ever had, but it is their choice if they harden their hearts once they can't ignore the truth any longer. Anyway, I'm going to my first Pride event on Saturday! I don't know how it will go; I'm a little worried that a festival environment might not be great for my Autism/ADHD, but I don't know where else to find people, and I'm really excited!! I'm ready to leave my chrysalis and dance in the sun. Wish me luck!!! Happy Pride <3

[ssilly-billyy]

Hobie Brown headcanons because I am so normal about him (I am extremely delusional.)

Hobie seems like he'd be bisexual. He just gives off that energy. Maybe leans more towards liking men?? Like. 60/40 type shit. He also probably uses He/They pronouns. (Maybe even some neopronouns!)

He absolutely did his own piercings. Why go pay to get your piercings done and fund a capitalist society when he could just do it himself?

He has a lucky guitar pick. I can't explain why he does but he absolutely does. It's the one thing he makes sure he'll never lose.

ADHD haver. He doesn't believe in consistency and in the movie he seems a little bit all over the place but in a fluid way that makes sense?

If someone else (besides Gwen and Pav) were to ever see his apartment it'd be a mess but in an organized way, he knows exactly where everything is and sometimes Gwen and Pav find it a little strange (in a good way though! They're both used to it and think it's interesting that Hobie knows exactly where what is).

He can learn how to play songs on his guitar by ear. It's actually really cool cause he'll listen to the song a few times and then starts playing it like he knew it the entire time.

Definitely a dumpster diver, he makes little trinkets from the stuff he gets from the dumpsters. Also he seems like he'd be into thrifting and vulture culture?

I will add more when I can think of more because I'm tired and I just woke up.

[mazyb0i]

Other RnM fans?

Rick n Morty fan creator/artist here, trying to make friend brohs with ppl who are also obsessed with the show. I have a hard time reaching out due to my anxiety. (proshippers DNI)

tldr; you're also a neurodivergent queer artist nutjob that makes crackpipe art an shitposts, heavily kins a character at one point or another, and we should be friends because we can be insane together LMFAO

Fav show ships: BP x Rick all day, (I love flesh curtains, and their dynamic is just so yes... I...) Morty x Alaska (i named the vat of acid gf Alaska because the Alaska trip..) Summer x that one girl... Morticia X Jessica, Rickcest/ Rick selfcest is aight, I obsess over Miamicop. I think selfcest in cloning / multiuniverse theory is harmless, but don't come at me with any of that proshipper/inc3st/rickorty shit. I will block you, report you, and put you on a DNI beware list; this is a threat & a warning. That shit is never EVER ok.

if we become friends/wanna know about;

I'm diagnosed Audhd, I'm a transmasc demiboy, I like to be referred to as nonbinary and a transgender male with He/They pronouns. Panromantic Demisexual.

I'm a rick kinnie, just means I identify with rick, in another universe I could be him XD, I relate to him, we share the same personality literally (ENTP 7w8); he's my self identifying comfort character. But my big interest with this show/comic is probably due to some kind of autistic hyper fixation and imprintation.

Hobbies: Crafting, Digital illustration, Fursuit /Costume making, Youtube, 3D designing, Making silly video skits, Writing, Character design, Shit posting, Creating ai voice bots for fun n fandom purposes (will make le memes), Trying to be a youtuber like Imbrandonfarris and Britany Broski, collecting stuff, VRchat, Collecting fluffy soft shit like stuffies, pillows, blankets, and hoodies. I SLEEP IN A NEST OF ALL OF THESE

Personality?: Chaotic, Unhinged, Tired and fed up with this shit, All the Energy AND NO ENERGY, I'm so tired please god help me, i'm an enigma. Ambiverted. If ur looking for a cool crazy cat dude broh who draws weird ass digital art and is always tired but jacked on coffe, adderall, and Naproxen i'm your guy.... :'}

I do alot of art and have alot of burnouts due to my adhd- I've been told I'm  innovative, clever, and expressive. I can jury-rig your glasses easily with a paperclip if you're screw comes out and loose frames causes the lens to pop. I'm very detail and idea-oriented, i come up with thousands of ideas, questions, and theories. Because of this, I tend to come up with one idea after another without actually going forward with plans and actions because i get so overwhelmed with my massive brain XD

Even tho I'm socially awkward, I love people, I want to make friends. I like being alone a lot but I hate feeling lonely. :C When I get to know you I'm very very chatty; as long as I'm not too tired or piled with heaps of assignments. I would say I'm pretty laid-back and easy to get along with, I get so stuck up in my personal world up in my head that I lose sight of important things around me, I blame the adhd. I'm an observer, I like to watch and see how things happen, I am a very hands on person.

I'm constantly learning, i love science with a passion. I got hyperfixated on evolution of different animal clades a while back. I am immensely curious and focused on understanding how the world operates and functions. I'm looking for mental and intellectual stimulation, lettuce skip casual conversation about wheather- whats your favorite dinosaur? (fuck ignore my dyslexia) and before you say a pterodactyl let me stop you right there- they aren't dinosaurs. if you like understanding the world through learning various things about science, technology, or culture, I'm your guy. but I'm also just a silly hoo hoo aah smart ass.

god this is finally done... I've been writing this for an hour......

[totally-not-here-for-the-smut]

Once while looking up ADHD I found out coffee can make you tired.

'Some people with ADHD get tired when they drink caffeine. In those with ADHD, caffeine may have the opposite impact, as it is a deterrent to brain hyperactivity. In these cases, the individual may experience a slow-down of thoughts and urges, which can seem like exhaustion.'

Looking back at Portia's route she gave Mc coffee to wake them up and in Nadia's in a paid scene someone gives Nadia and Mc coffee. I've been wondering how do you think the M6 would react to finding out coffee makes Mc tired? Like they give Mc some coffee to wake them up only for Mc to be even more tired than before they drank it.

This is an interesting question! Basically, I read it as "what if MC showed some signs of ADHD, like a weird reaction to coffee?". Well, my answer is... they wouldn’t have any reaction besides a "oh, that's funny!", but allow me to elaborate.

I have several personality traits and minor conditions that got misdiagnosed as adhd, so I had to study a bit the matter to understand what was going on (still, mind that I am not a professional).

ADHD is a very "modern world" problem. Mind that I'm not saying that it is a "previously non existing condition caused by or invented by the modern western society", but that is a condition that has always existed but is seen as a problem only in the world we live in because of how our society is deeply flawed and, on a deeper level, unfit for human beings.

In Vesuvia (as I picture it), much like in several past cultures and societies, kids aren't required to learn passively by sitting way too many hours. Students don't have to hyper specialize in their subject of choosing, but it is much more appreciated a wide variety of interests. In our world, until the late 19th century, literate people often studied many different things: like, most scientists were philosophers as well. Earlier in time, figures like Leonardo Da Vinci were much more common than the "super expert specialised in only one field", and there wasn't much of a formal one size fits all education system that makes life very hard expecially for non-neurotipycal students. Da Vinci himself spent YEARS on pointless and useless projects, didn't finish many of his artworks, had many weird theories about stuff, wrote right to left... in a modern world, fixated on time and productivity and specialisation, his life would be a mess. But in renaissance Italy? He was seen as a great wise man of science and arts.

I think people in Vesuvia aren't as fixated on precision, specialisation, productivity and time managing as we're required to be in our neurotic society, therefore ADHD's traits wouldn’t be a problem at all. Even the more "internal" issue (RSD, overstimulation, emotional managing...) wouldn’t be a problem there, since Vesuvia's culture seems very open about emotions talk, welcoming of differences, and way less ego-fixated.

Imho, Asra, Lucio and maybe Portia would be great candidates for an ADHD diagnosis today... but in Vesuvia? Their behaviour is functional and appreciated even, because the whole cultures is way less messed up and obsessed on stuff that puts a huge pressure on people with ADHD (and, honestly, everybody).

So, this is way I think that the perspective of MC having ADHD wouldn’t be even noticed, and getting "tired" after coffe would be seen as something curious, and maybe a "Oh yeah, some people reacts in that way" from our dear doctor :)

[warnadudenexttime]

i accidentally stumbled upon your alt twitter acc today and i have to say it's so disappointing to see you constantly hype thomas up to his face on main then talk shit about him there. you may not be tagging him but those posts are still public and he could still see them. idk i guess i just thought you were nicer than that.

He is unable to see any posts on my alt account, I have him blocked on there because I frequently post about tss ships I really like and feel very uncomfortable if he were to see that. I know that he has said he’s fine with people shipping the sides and many people tag him in shipping stuff and that’s cool for them! But personally I would feel weird for him to see me posting that? Idk. It’s just how I am.

Secondly, in terms of ‘talking sh-t’ in many fandoms it’s perfectly reasonable and normal to criticize creators as you wanna see them grow or you may just end up disappointed. I do love Thomas, him and his series has been my special interest for like 5-6 years now. But I can’t deny sometimes he disappoints me, like this next tss video it seems is just another ad and that tires me. The irony of this coming to me on tumblr is the difference between twitter and tumblr culture when it comes to Thomas. As tumblr is very open to criticizing some of his decisions. I’m not gonna get very deep into it, but I feel like personally I have the right to be disappointed in some of the things that happens in the series. Wait times, lack of updates, ad videos when we haven’t even gotten a main video in a while. But I still love the guy, he’s still incredibly important to me, I support him on patreon because I wanna see more of him and his series and because I just wanna support him. As for, if this is just about the beard comments, I just don’t personally like beards and I am completely 100% aware of the fact that thomas is his own person, he can do whatever he wants. If the beard makes him happy? That’s great! That’s amazing! I’d prefer he have it then. I don’t want him to change it, I’m not asking him to change it, I’ve never and will never ask/want him to change it especially if he likes it.

I know thomas likely has RSD considering he has ADHD so I would never criticize him to his face, I don’t wanna hurt/upset him. Why I don’t post this stuff on my main is for that reason, he COULD see it! And I don’t want to hurt him, I do care a lot about him and his well being. Sometimes I just need to vent out my disappointments and issues I have with some of his decisions is all. Or get a second opinion from other people or see if anyone else sees a problem with something I have. I still adore him and support him so much and have throughout all the years I’ve been here in the fandom. Me criticizing thomas occasionally on my alt doesn’t change that, atleast to me, of course anon you can think differently- but that’s up to you.

[anexperimentallife]

This "if you don't brag about it online, it didn't happen" culture is so weird. I regularly get people accusing me of doing nothing but posting my thoughts online and not actually helping anyone, and it's like...

Dude, I'm not gonna go online and brag and post pictures every time I donate supplies or money, give someone food or a place to stay, serve as a sympathetic ear, help another adult escape their abusive family, encourage someone through a bad situation, stay on the phone with someone when they just need a human voice, let someone ahead of me at the store, overtip a tired server, stand up when someone's being bullied, or do some other random act of kindness. Posting "proof" of all that shit would just feel weird to me. And pointless. The point isn't to show off; the point is that we're all in this together, and everybody should be pitching in to make things better for all of us. It should just be the standard.

I literally owe my life to people who helped me in hard times with no thought of reward--often when I didn't deserve the help. Hell, when our family was in danger of forced separation because paperwork errors wouldn't let our daughter travel with us, y'all pitched in to pay for getting it straightened out.

(Not to mention that even if all I did was post, posting thoughts online can be helpful--a lot of people have posted things that have been helpful to me, and a lot of folks have thanked me for things I've posted, saying my words helped them.)

I mean, I get the theory that posting about ways you've helped people might inspire others to do more good, so I'm not gonna say everyone who does it is seeking glory, but that's just not the way I roll. I don't even like being acknowledged for stuff like that. It all just comes under the heading of doing my job as a human being. Because if we're not taking care of each other, what's the point of anything?

If I could help out completely anonymously, so that not even the people I'm helping knew it was me, that's what I'd do. Not because I'm some saint, but just because a) the attention embarrasses me, and b) I don't want anyone to feel embarrassed or lesser for accepting help.

Honestly, I'd like to do more. But I'm autistic, disabled (spine, joint, and soft tissue inuries, severe arthritis, a traumatic brain injury that affects my memory and focus, and then there are the brain and body effects of long covid on top of that), have adhd, had covid three times, almost died of illness three times in the past five years (once from double pneumonia with secondary lung infections, and twice from covid, which also left me with a two-year foot infection that ended up requiring surgery to get rid of), and other issues, am about 15K USD in debt (from the issue with our daughter), PLUS I'm raising a toddler and supporting two other adults on a fixed income (and still need to somehow come up with around thirty thousand dollars for needed surgeries and scans and dental work and other treatments that got put off because of the aforementioned issue with our daughter), so yeah, there's only so much I can do.

But it's not "nothing." (And I'll allow myself a little bit of chest-puffing by saying it's probably more than most of the people who accuse me of doing nothing do.)

So yeah... "all you do is post online instead of helping people." Oh, you mean because I don't... what, make people "earn" my help by posing for embarrassing pictures or videos, or giving testimonials about how grateful they are? LMAO what a sad, mean, tiny, drab little world you must live in where no one helps anyone without bragging to the world about it.

(Hell, I'll probably delete this later, because tbh this little rant feels a little too much like bragging to me, but I needed to vent.)

[crazy-lazy-elder-sims]

*DEEP BREATH*

*SCREEEEAAAAAAMMMMMM*

Small vent vent vent ignore

No one wants to leave me alone

Literally like its so funny but im about to actually rip my teeth out wtf

Its so ironic that the first sentence i ever uttered as a baby was "leave me alone" because i being me i am very non social i do not like it when people ask me shit or talk to me at ALL always been like that always will be. Why???

I only recently found out it's because of my hyper focus cause of ADHD, any time i have to myself i have always Invested it in hobbies and stuff for me and ofc this is stuff that i like so i put my entire focus in it i could go days without speaking to anyone just doing the thing but again me being me in this position in the family its very unfortunate that im the youngest and most around (and as per culture female which akes me automatically the caretaker no matter how hard i fight it) so everyone asks everything of me most of the time its reasonable stuff i give them an hour of my time to do stuff for them then i settle down for the rest and focus on my stuff (art cc making watching something etc) but these past weeks my dad has been trying to take all my time and use it all up to make things easier for him, which is ridiculous

I get it he is old and tired and ofc i want to help but he doesnt ask he just uses it up as if he is entitled to it and in the same vein is extremely rude to me and again me being me i dont take it i call him out and set boundaries which pissed him off because he takes it as me (the kid) bossing him around (the parent) and how dare i diminished his authority or whatever, but the thing is i barely even say anything to him like yesterday he blew up at me and said "all day you have been bossing me around" but the ruth? i only saw him twice once in the morning after i woke up and i said goodmorning and then in the afternoon when he blew up in my face lol

Anyway thats not whats upsetting me actually cause he has been blowing up at me consistently like this ever since i was 10 so its meaningless to me, what im actually upset about is how little time i have for myself now, and how easily that was taken from me, and how hard i have to fight to get it back

Its my fucking time i should do whatever i want with it why am i fighting tooth and nail for it wth

Im gonna have to push back hard again and its going to piss him off again but idgf he can stomp around like a toddler whatever again it means nothing to me just gotta do what i know is right thats all.

[greens-spilled-tea]

Heyo, I’m Green from the @reimeichan system. Got tired of holding back my syscourse takes from our DID blog so I decided to make my own so I can ramble to my heart’s content. I’m a system who’s reached full integration/final fusion with parts so you may see me tagging sometimes as Reimei or Green. It’s all the same me, I have multiple names, deal with it.

20+ years old, he/him, Chinese American, polyamorous and gay. Diagnosed with DID, ADHD, and schizoaffective disorder.

No DNI, feel free to talk to me if you wanna. If you respect me, then I will respect you.

Syscourse-specific stances underneath the read more. Note that these are my specific stances and are not a reflection of the system as a whole.

What’s my syscourse stance? - I am syscourse-annoyed. That is my official stance. Wording stolen shamelessly from @system-of-a-feather lol

Do I believe in endogenic plurality? - I honestly do not care if endogenic plurality exist or not. You can describe your experiences however you want. Just don’t go around trying to demedicalize CDDs in your crusade to have endogenic plurality recognized by others.

Do I support tulpamancy? - I believe it to be a bastardized version of a Tibetan Buddhist practice that many so-called tulpamancers do not actually understand or respect. I am fine with created alters or headmates, so long as you do not call them tulpas. I’m a big proponent of changing the terms “tulpa” and “tulpamancy” and related terms as I find them to be orientalist and racist.

Do I think CDDs can be formed without trauma? - There is a strong correlation between trauma and the development of CDDs to the point where if you have a CDD, you almost definitely also have childhood trauma. I don’t like dealing in absolutes and like to be open-minded to the possibility that CDDs may be able to form outside of childhood trauma but the research has not yet shown that. However, oftentimes people who are diagnosed with CDDs may not remember their childhood nor their traumas, and trying to get people to recall those memories is irresponsible at best and likely incredibly damaging.

Opinions on alters using names from a culture that is not their own? - I cannot speak for all cultures. My answer here is not going to cover everything I believe about this point. I think alters may internally be able to use whatever name they feel comfortable with; many times an alter may form or split with a name (ie. introjecting a fictional character) with a name from another culture. However, they should be able to recognize that, if the body is not of that culture, then they are also not of that culture, and it may be prudent to choose a different name (like a nickname) to go by when talking to other people.

Do I support self-diagnosis? - To a certain extent. I think you should always go into self-diagnosis with an open mind that your diagnosis may be incorrect, but if the tools and resources you found for that diagnosis is helping you and you’ve done a lot of research into the matter, including looking at differential diagnosis, then so long as you are being responsible then it’s fine. Not everyone has the luxury to be able to get properly diagnosed. That being said, even diagnosis has its own issues as being diagnosed is, at least in the US, mainly used for insurance purposes and to make sure the patient gets the care they need. Whether someone is diagnosed or not doesn’t make their disorder any more or less real. I think we should focus less on diagnosis and more on people’s symptomology, including symptoms outside of the presence of alters.

Language I prefer to use when talking about alters, headmates, parts, etc. - I alternate between parts and people language as they are simply interchangeable for me. Headmates feels weird to me in a way I cannot put my finger on but I will not be upset if you use it for my system. In general I’m pretty flexible with whatever words people use to refer to the members of their system and I don’t really care what people use for my system.

Language I prefer to use when talking about systems, a collection of people inside one brain, etc. - I tend to call myself “someone with DID”. I don’t prefer the term “system” but I will used it for communicative purposes. I’m very bad about using people’s preferred terminology here and I’m trying to change that, but I will absolutely slip up on accident and I apologize ahead of time. I do not mind people pointing it out to me so long as you’re not being an asshole about it.

[starry-snippets]

Hi! I was interested in getting a matchup!

My name is Beau and my pronouns are they/them, I’m also only halfway through part three in JJBA (just finished the episode where polnareff meets the judgment stand and reincarnates his sister) so im only familiar with characters from the first three parts lmaooo Im an ENFP and I also like to crochet, roller skate, draw, play videogames and dance Im also have ADHD so Im very hyper and love hanging out with people. I do befriend all kinds of people though, like my best friend of 6 years is super introverted and like super call meanwhile im like “AYO WHATS POPPIN” Im also only 5’1, the first thing people comment on when they first meet me is always how short I am and im like COME ON BRO PLEASE ST O P I do enjoy quiet moments with my friends and on my own as well, I always appreciate a little quiet crochet session every now and again lol my favorite kind of music is 60’-80’s since its what I was raised on, and I also love the fashion from that time period. I also have curly hair which ngl sometimes I’m like why you gotta be so difficult like goddamn but ANYWAY I hope you don’t mind me sending a request in!!

ofc i don't mind! my first matchup yay! these are very fun, thank you for requesting! hope you enjoy!! also sorry for the delay, but here you go!! @deercryptid

side note i love matchups so you guys should request more jk unless

first thought was immediately kakyoin!

☆ kakyoin loves that you play video games and he'll look forward to playing any and all of them with you! ☆ he'll find it really cool that you crochet, especially if you make stuffed animals. for his birthday or a holiday if you make him a little hierophant green he'll keep it on his bed for forever. the best gift he's ever gotten ☆ one of his favorite dates to go on with you would just drawing! maybe you'd go on a walk in the park and draw whatever peaks your interest. a child who's playing by the pond, a dog laying on the trail, or a grasshopper perched on strands of tall grass. at the end you'll give each other what you drew and it'll go in a scrapbook since you're both artistic people! ☆ kakyoin would be pretty good at handling how hyper you are usually, except when he's really tired. he's a good listener so even if he's a bit drained due to being an introvert he'd love to listen to you talk about your interests ☆ he LOVES your curly hair! if you have special secrets to keep it looking lush and healthy he'll want to know them. he's not a vain person but he does like looking nice. he'll love to help you style your hair if you let him! kakyoin will research to make sure he doesn't damage it, as hair care for curly hair is very different from straight hair

☆ kakyoin really appreciates that you're open minded and able to connect with those who are different from you. he's different than you in many regards but you still took the time to befriend him, and that's a big part of why he's fallen in love with you ☆ would love to go roller skating with you, but is a bit nervous. hold his hand and take things slow! he'll get the hang of it and it'll become another date he absolutely loves ☆ i feel like he'd like your music taste too! i imagine kakyoin likes indie pop, folk, and 80's! i like to think kakyoin likes culture club, toto, and madonna from that period of music! ☆ if you dress in that style he'll love it too! the eccentric patterns of the 60's, the denim jackets and flared pants of the 70's, and the crazy colors of the 80's. he would dress up with you to go to roller skating, to go on a diner date, or even to concerts if you enjoy going to those! ☆ kakyoin really appreciates how well you compliment him. you consider how introverted he can be and give him space, and he'll do the same whenever you need it. kakyoin is charming and a little awkward at times, but he'll learn about your interests to get to know you more and to get closer to you. he'll even learn to dance a smidge and surprise you on your birthday by taking you out to dinner and then taking your hand, showing you he's done his homework ☆ yeah so in conclusion kakyoin would appreciate you a lot &lt;;3 also forgot to mention, but kakyoin likes that you're shorter because he can rest his chin on your head very comfortably when you hug, and he also feels taller because of the height difference. doesn't tease you extensively though

second thought is avdol!

☆ sorry to double dip in the same part but I think avdol would love all your hobbies and how compatible you are with other people. you get along with even jotaro despite him being heavily guarded and polnareff despite him being really irritating sometimes. he's very impressed with that ☆ he loves watching you draw and crochet. you can be silently doing a pattern or just doodling and he'll love observing your craft. he'll compliment you with all the jargon because he's researched into your craft so he sounds more sincere cause he's entirely genuine in his compliments and he wants the vocabulary to prove that ☆ avdol likes that you're short! he finds it really fun that he's taller because it's a little fun to him whenever you need help opening a cupboard or reaching something. he won't be evil about it, he'll just chuckle and help out. just finds it enough cute aspect of you ☆ deals with how hyper you can be really well! he's pretty chill but can let loose, and he'll do a good job deciding when he should do one or the other. sometimes he'll actively be hyper with you and you'll do more kinetic dates like roller skate when that's the case. other times he'll listen to you ramble and just listen with a smile ☆ loves to dance with you! he'll wear the most gorgeous shade of red satin dress shirt and black flared pants, so whenever he moves the light shines on his shirt and his pants move as elegantly as he does. avdol is a good dancer you cannot convince me otherwise. he'll get even better so he can impress you, and he'll be marveled at how well you can dance! ☆ it's super interested in video games but likes to watch you play. he's sometimes convinced depending on the game, but he has the right idea. you'll be sitting on his lap or besides him (whichever is more comfortable to you) while he watches over your shoulder or on the bigger screen of your computer or tv ☆ avdol loves the bohemian style mixed with the hippie style. so he's so down with your music and aesthetic! he dresses that way too when he's more casual i headcanon, so you two match very well. you're like a walking pinterest board when you're heading on dates in public ☆ avdol gets the natural hair struggle! he is always here to help though, and he knows how to take care of various hair textures. if you don't want his help he's entirely okay with that too! ☆ if you need any accommodations because of your adhd he's already on it. written reminders, little notes, a text, whatever it is he's willing to do it. he's very considerate! ☆ like kakyoin, if you crochet him things he'll keep it forever. if you make him a tiny version of his stand he'll be so joyous. red will also love it, stealing it off of avdol's shelf and putting it into his own nest ☆ in conclusion, avdol's favorite thing to do with you by far though is to just cuddling with you, listening to your favorite bands, while enjoying your company. he loves your bubbly personality and is very accepting of your interests and hobbies

[smol-forest-gremlin]

Search for friends and a caregiver!

DNI: NSFW/kink, maps/pedos, anti-lgbtq+, anti-agere, any form of racism, sexism, ablism and any other bigotry

Hello to those who have found this post or my blog! I’m in the process of re-dying my hair so as it sets I figured this would be a good time to make this post.

Honestly I felt like an attention seeker so I wasn’t sure I’d ever make this so please bear with me a bit!

First a little bout me, well hello my name is Gremlin. I am ftm and xenogender, my pronouns being he/him/xe/xem though I’m comfy with most other neos too! I’m almost 18, though I regress to the age range of 0-2. My regression plays a huge role in my life and impacts my personality, and comforts greatly. I regress mostly involuntarily due to trauma, stress, neurodivergency and mental health issues. I am autistic, have adhd, c-ptsd, ocd, anxiety and depression. These can be crippling but I do my best to cope and create an environment comfy for me. I dream about one day living in an little cottage home, with a reading nook and shelves lined in books, with a nursery/sensory room, garden and cats (I LOVE cats). Photography is my passion and hopefully I’ll have a business one day to celebrate life, nature, different cultures and identities. Thought I am going into school for forensic sciences. I’m a huge weeb. I love dnd and anime and my comfort character is Aizawa Shouta from bnha. I love to read an colour and take naps (I’m always tired and have a bit of a caffeine addiction). I love sea pancakes too! I love stuffies and pacis, cuddles, diapers, bottles and being held or coddled. I’m an easy and sensitive baby so honestly, loyalty and communication is very important to me. I have a very young headspace and it can be very vulnerable and isn’t always pretty. I’m not one for crowds or loud noises and honestly don’t like the sun or outside despite loving being connected to nature. I love the aquarium and books store… but never let me go alone or I buy all the books… I tend to present kinda goth with the occasional pastel but my heart lies in cottage/goblin core.

What I want in friends: Any gender or sexuality (but I’m most comfy with queer folk) and I’d love someone who has stuff in common with me. I love making friends with other neurodivergent people and finding those in the disabled community but they are not requirements. Please be 16 closer to 17+ though no older than 26 (dunno why 26 just brain saying good number??).

What I want in a cg: I have a lean towards masc people but I’m open to anyone. 17-23 only. Someone okay with diapers and baby space, who loves cuddles and will communicate. I have huge abandonment and attachment issues so please keep that in mind as I may be clingy. Please be kind, patient and gentle, don’t yell and check in on me through the day. I’m not great at taking care of myself and I forget stuff a lot.

I typed too much though I’m sure I have more to say later. If you’re interested in being my friend or cg message me here and thank you taking the time to read this. I’ve been feeling very lonely to the post it hurts and makes me sick so I hope to meet some wonderful people.

Thank you all and be safe, drink water and love yourself because I love you <3