#actually. actually i dont think loop beat the king?

[1tsjusty0u]

everytime i think of this screenshot it just makes me sad. its so unfair what happened to loop like. narratively i understand it. BUT GESTURES

[aria0fgold]

Siffrin is Not having a good time yall.

[pinkseas]

thinking about. how siffrin seems to have declined so, so much more rapidly than loop did. and part of me thinks it's because of the objective- loop had the clear, unchanging goal of beating the king, where siffrin was able to accomplish that much earlier on and was struggling to find ways to move forward in the aftermath. but.

siffrin has loop there. talking to them, helping them remember, helping to keep them sane. a safety net of sorts, someone to fall back on, someone to depend on at least in the specific context of the loops. loop didn't have that. loop had absolutely nothing and no one but themselves. if they forgot, if they started slipping, if they lost sight of their goal- all of vaugarde was doomed. they couldn't afford to lose hope. they couldn't afford to slow down or take a break or rest for even a moment, because if they'd stopped moving forward, they'd have fallen apart, and then what would happen to vaugarde? to themselves? to their party?

siffrin's lack of clear direction for so long definitely contributes very heavily to their breakdown, i just. keep thinking about how loop Did Not Have That Choice. how easy it is to imagine that after a countless number of loops, after finally achieving their ONE goal, their ONE purpose, it's over they're free they're finally, finally free. after forgetting everything about themselves and their party, forgetting everything except for the fact that they have to defeat the king, they've done it. and then they wake up again.

the despair!!! the hopelessness!! the loneliness!!!

if they'd gone into that fight thinking "this might not be the end, i have to keep my guard up," i think they could've gone on for an eternity. but in defeating the king, they can stop. they can rest they can breathe they can relax that's it!! they're done!!!!! and in finally stopping, that really is it. they can't pull themselves together enough to keep trying, now that they know defeating the king isn't it. i dont know that there was enough of them left that they could've even tried again. their entire reason for existing rendered useless, meaningless in the context of the way they're trapped.

and they STILL don't actually give up!! they could've wished to die. for everything to just be over. but they didn't want that. they wanted to be saved. they wanted to keep existing, to keep going, to stay with their friends they wanted vaugarde to be saved they wanted everyone to be okay!!! themselves included!!!!!!!!!

and then, because of them, vaugarde is saved. their party is saved. siffrin is saved. every last person is saved, except for them.

[tobeywobey]

HELLO YES DID I HEAR JRWI ISAT AU OR PERHAPS JUST GENERAL THOUGHTS AND COMPARISONS?

hellooo :)perhaps

okay originally it was just me going crazy over the isafrin and fnc similarities. but i was like. wow odile sure is likejay ferin.

SO . chip being sif. right duh of course. because who else would be that mentally unwell. he can also speak celestial for some reason which i think ties back into that stars stuff. ALSO their memory stuff (when chip starts losing himself and has to kind of. put on a show of who he is. SOUND FAMILIAR?). sif losing his home country. chip losing his childhood. both having such little opportunity to get it back without risk of hurting themselves. chip and sif "ill keep all my feelings right here and then one day ill die" bitches.

gillion being isabeau .undergoing a serious change and. feeling like the person they were before is dead and gone at their hands. being often regarded as stupid just because theyre big and boisterous and the tank (of sorts). that religious aspect . But also. gill and mirabelle to a degree. being chosen . that idea of "people think im chosen for one thing but its actually this other thing that im too afraid to tell people" . aroace <3 . that religious guilt of "why was it me. surely someone else could have handled this better" and. feeling the weight of their world on their shoulders. the elders and the head housemaiden .

more chip stuff .something abt. loop being so upset that Sif is the one who. succeeded and the one who got his happy ending despite how Loop could never even. beat the king. is so chip to me. i dont know How to explain it but its so. chip almost being? angry at himself that. after all that pain he endured at the hands of price and to an extent the black rose. all it took to be happy was finding two strangers and letting them in. also that is very sif to me also

also i think about Siffrin and Bonnie’s relationship (post-eye injury) a lot. And i do think Bonnie and Ollie are relatively similar. I do think Ollie would have a similar reaction to learning about Chip’s ‘death’ that Bonnie did to Sif’s eye.

as for odile and jay i have less thoughts but jay being torn between land and sea, pirates and navy just like how odile is torn between ka bue and vauguarde. odile thinking her vaugaurdian roots would Suddenly Make Sense and she'd find that lost part of herself to no avail . jay feeling like shes always been distant from her family and not that perfect child .wishing she could have that just like Ava had . the two ultimately finding themselves with new companions and family in this foreign place.

[ajdrawshq]

Hey so after an intense amount of fishing and banana peels I decided to play the epilogue as a palette cleanser and discovered the island might be back now?? So ty for sending me on a fishing journey bc I would've never noticed.

The reason i say this btw is bc if you don't point out the dialogue during a loop to the daydreamer about her sister, she just seems to think hard during the party b4 returning to daydreaming. HOWEVER, if you did she asks the elder if she had one. The elder says she doesn't think so but her memory isn't what it used to be and asks her why to which she says she dreamed of one. She then describes her sister and the elder interrupts saying that the sister would say she'd travel the world and see every country on earth. When the daydreamer says thats exactly what she said in the dream and asks how she knew. The elder says she's not sure but I can see you having one, that they can imagine it vividly which makes the daydreamer happy. AND NOTHING SUDDENLY GLITCHED! THE UNIVERSE DIDNT REWRITE THEIR CONVERSATION!!?? So yeah ty for sending me on a fishing quest!

OH YEAH!! i got that during my first playthrough, i didnt know it was missable tbh :0

im not sure if id take it as confirmation that the island has fully returned, since the daydreamers memory (and the elders memory, who knows if its old age or the other thing) of her sister is still a bit off, but theres possibly something going on here thats.. more lenient ? about peoples memories and perceptions regarding it and/or connections to it. either that or that conversation was indirect enough that it didnt require being rewritten.. idk!! shits weird!!

the situation w the island and its very (non)existence is honestly super interesting to me bc its like. its not completely, physically gone, is it? during act 4 after beating the king if you have sif look outside towards the sun, they can see it - if only briefly, since they stop themself before the universe has the chance to. so its. still there?? but what happened to everyone else who lived there, besides the few we know about? the daydreamers sister didnt just cease to exist, did she? sif had parents, and other people they knew there, what happened to them? are all the former residents end up just.. wandering around random areas unable to remember anything, like the king? did some actually disappear? but theres still physical proof of it in written form, so thats unlikely.. probably.. but the land itself is still there, somehow, so.. ?????????????

didnt mean to get into all that here cksbksjs anyway ur welcome!! :] its so fun to find new things in this game theres SO much stuff hidden away that u dont even think to look for, especially when its by accident!! what a game .........

[astralspen]

My in real time thoughts on ACT 5 to the end! Obviously, spoilers ahead

What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what th

OH MY GOD NO SIFFRIN STOP IT STOP STOP STOP STOP ITTTT STOP PLEASE STOP SIFFRIN

NO NO NO NO NO THEY FUCKING LEFT ALREADY DIDNT THEY THEYRE GONE THEY LEFT OH MY GOD THEY HATE US NOW WAIT THEY FIDNT LEAVE OH MY GOD THATS SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE OH MY GOD IT IS SO MUCH WORSE

OH MY GOD WE LEFT ON OUR OWN SIFFRIN NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO SIFFRIN OH MY GOD

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE ROOMS OH MY GOD WHAT DO YOU MEAN MEMORY OF EMPTINESS OH MY GOD NO ATTACK COOL DOWN THIS IS THE ONLY TIME IVE BEEN UPSET AT THAT

I DONT LIKE THE MUSIC ITS ALL DISTORTED AND TRAGIC AND OMMINOUS

OH MY GOD THE GHOST IS BACK AND ITS REVERSED OH MY GOD WE JUST FUCKING BROKE THE COUNTER OH MY GOD SIFFRINS SPRITE MF THE GHOST AGAIN

THE MUSIC KEEPS SWITCHING FROM DISTORTED AND TERRIFYING TO SO SAD AND TRAGIC LIKE ITS MARKING THE END

OH GOD ITS LIKE ITS MARKING THE END

WHY ARE THE HALLS SO WEIRD

OH MY GOD SIFFRINS JUST STRAIGHT SLICING THROUGH IT THEN MOVING ON

OH MY GOD NOT THE HALLUCINATION OF THE OTHERS WHAT THE FUCK TAT

BRO WOULD THE CHANGE GOD EVEN GIVE ME THE KEYKNIFE ATP WTF OR IS SIFFRIN JUST FUCKING STRONG ENOUGH TO NOT GIVE A SHIT

WHYS THE HALLWAY LOOPING WHATS WRONG WITH THESE ROOMS

MF YOU AGAIN

OH MY GOD THE ROOMS WHAT THE FUCK

WHATS THE DEAL WITH FRUITS AM I BEING STUPID OR AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT GET IT WHY- OH SHIT IS IT BECAUSE BONNIE WOULD BE EATING AN APPLE IN HERE OR AM I STILL CRAZY

WHY ARE THERE MORE TEARS

WHY IS THE ROOM MIXING TAKING ME STRAIGHT TO EVERY ROOM I NEED

IK I SAID I DIDNT LIKE THE MUSIC BUT CAN I HAVE IT BACK NOW

THAT WAS SO CRUELLLLL YOU GAVE ME FAMILY JUST TO RIP FAMILY AWAY

AND I SAW RED AGAIN IS SOMETHING BREAKING IS IT OUR MIND I THINK ITS OUR MIND

HEY STOP LOOPING LET ME CONTINUE

OH COME LET ME ONE HIT THE GIANT HANDS FFS

WHY DO I KEEP GETTING THE LOOPING CUE AS THE SCREEN GLITCHES OUT IM NOT LOOPING

CAN THE GLORIFIED BOMB LEAVE ME ALONE OMG

AY STOP IT LET ME CONTINUE

STOP ITTTTTTTT

NO SIFFRIN WE NEED TO SLEEP AGAIN LET ME LOOP BACK SO WE CAN FIX IT PLEASE

WDYM THEYRE REFLECTED IN IT

AND WDYM ACTORS SIFFRIN NO

PLEASE STOP MAKING ME RE-LIVE THIS IT HURTS OMG

WHY IS THE ORIGINAL PICTURE THERE

WHY WAS THAT THE EXACT SAME AS WHEN WE FIRST GOT THERE

THE GHOST IS BACK CAN I FUCKING TALK TO THE GHOST IT KNOWS MORE THAN I FUCKING DO IF IT POPS UP EVERYWHERE

Huh I can escape fights I didn't know that or wait that might just be an act 5 thing

WHAT THE FUCK MIRABELLE

LET ME LEAVE MIRABELLES ROOM STOP MAKING ME THINK ABOUT IT

OH MY GOD POOR SIFFRIN

AY LET ME CALL LOOP

OH MY GOD SIFFRINNNNN MY BABY

STOPPPPPPPPPP

NOW I FEEL BAD WANTING TO LOOP BACK WTF

FINE FULLY ADOPTING SIFFRIN PHILOSOPHY JUST KEEP MOVING FORWARD AND ITLL ALL BE OVER EVENTUALLY

CHANGE GOD IF YOURE WATCHING ME DONT YOU FUCKING SAY SHIT ALRIGHT IMMA GET THE KEYKNIFE AND CONTINUE ON MY WAY

OH MY GOD WHY ARE THE KINGS THINGYS OR WAIT THATS HAIR ISNT IT WHY IS THE KINGS HAIR COVERING THE WALLS NOW AND WHY ARE KEY SPOTS BLOCKED BY LIKE 3 ROWS OF TEARS TF

ODILE WHAT

PLEASE SIFFRIN I JUST WANT YOU TO CHILL AND BREATH FOR A SEC

WHY WAS THERE AN ARMY OF INVERTED GHOST MES

OH THANK YOU I WAS ABOUT TO BE SO PISSED IF YOU TRIED KEEPING IT AWAY FROM ME

YOU KNOW ATP YOU GO FOR IT SIFFRIN IM TIRED OF THESE THINGS

SHIT DID THEY ACTUALLY GO AHEAD HOW ARE THEY AHEAD THEY CANF ACTUALLY BE AHEAD RIGHT

CAN I HAVE THE MUSIC BACK

JUST FIGHT ME ASS WIPE

OH MY GOD THIS IS GONNA TAKE FOREVER AT THIS RATE

OH SCISSORS DOES SAME DMG FOR ALL FINE THEM IMMA SPAM SCISSORS

BRO SIFFRINS FACE BARELY CHANGES WHEN LOW HO NOW

OH MY GOD SIFFRIN THAT FUCKING HURT

YOU KNOW WHAT AT LEAST BEATING YOUR ASS IS A GOOD WAY TO VENT MY ANGER DAMNIT

OH GOD IT WENT RED FROM THE KING YELLING

WHAT

OH GOD ITS CAUSE IM FIGHTIBG KN MY OWN

OH GOD SIFFRIN QAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT

DID

WHAT

WHERE AM I

DUDE WHAT THE FUCK

ITS THE GHOST

WHY ARE WEVFIGGHTING

WHATD

AH

MAL DU PAYS WHAT

HOKDD TRANSLATION BEFORE CONTINUING

OH GOD IM SHAKING

HUH HOMESICKNESS?

IS THAT ACTUALLY WHAT IT MEANS OR IS GOOGLE TRANSLATE FUCKING WITH MD

WDYM IMMUNE

I HIT ROCK YOU LOOK LIKE ME SO YOU SHOULDVE BEEN WEAK RIGHT

WHAT

BRO AT LEASY SAY SOMETHING

MX. MAL DU PAYS SAY SOMETHING PLEASE

DONT LEAVE MR TO JUST ATTACK

STOP STARING AND SAY SOMETHING

what....

What..

Bonnie...

Bonnie please...

NO STOP IT NOW

NOT ODILE

oh god...

Oh...

Oh shit...

Ohhhhhhh...

Oh god

Oh god not even human anymore

Oh my god

Oh please let it be fake

Please please

Let it be fake

Let Mal Du Pays stop talking

WHY ARE YOU CRYING

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CRYING

YOU THROQ THAT SHIT AT ME AND YOU CRY

NO NOT ISABEAU

NOT HIM

Oh...

Oh god...

Oh no no no no

No no no no no no no no no

Please stop

Oh hod stop stop stop stop don't do this to Mr no no no

Oh shit shit no isabeau no no no no no stop stop stop

Why are you yelling

Why throw all that at me and start yelling like you're in pain

I'm want our of this so bad holy shit let me out dude

NO STOP OPENING YOUR MOUTH STOP UT

NOT MIRA

Oh

Oh

Oh god

Mira

No

Mirabelle

OH GOD ITS ALL RED

This scene is hopeful but idk why but I don't feel very hopeful at all...

Huh

HUH

HOW IS THE KING BEING FROZEN

He remembers now

I'm glad at least someone does

He gets to be frozen remembering home

Ok this is making me feel a bit better

NEVERMIND NOT HOPEFUL

IS THAT OUR FAULT

STOP

MAL DU PAYS

ITS STILL BEHIND US

WHY IS IT FOLLOWING

LEAVE ME ALONE

HUH

OH GOD WHAT DO I PRESS

DINE YES

IM SCARED HELP ME

I feel like a feeble old woman this is disgusting

They don't wanna hear the sorry

That's fair

STOP STOP STOP NOT AGAIN PLEASE NOT AGAINNO NO NO NON OXNO WAIT STOP

NO NO NO NO

SIFFRIN

OH GOD THEYRE BIG LIKE THE KING WAX

DINT MAKE ME FIGHT THEM

DONT MAKE ME FIGHT THEM

PLEASE

NO I WONT ATTACK

I REFUSE

MIRABELLE DONT HEAL ME PLEASE

LET ME DO IT MYSELF

NO I DONT WANT TO HURT THEM

WHAT DID LOOP TELL YOU

STOP

IM NOT HURTING YOU SO STOP PLEASE MIRA

Oh

They know

No I don't want the to know

I loope

DONT STOP ME PLEAS

ODILE LET ME GO BACK

I WONT ATTACK THEM

I DONT CARE IF ODILE IS STOPPING ME FROM LOOPING BACK WHEN THATS ALL I WANT TO DO

I WONT ATTACK THEM

SGOP HEALING ME

STOP HEALING ME SO I CAN DIE AND LOOP BACK OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD THAT

IM GONNA CRY

PLEASE LET IT BE THE END

I THINK THERES ANOTHER ACT OR SOMETHING STILL BUT LET IT BE THE END

Hey my hat

My hat

Where hat

Oh don't make me fucking talk to you after them

I'm getting flashbacks lady oh my god

Also I want my hat back

I GOT HEADPATS FROM ODILE

THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

BONBON HUGGIESSSSSSSS

LH THANK FUCK

THAT WAS SO CUTE

MY HEART IS FULL

God I love this game

Hi so in stars and time is effectively altering my brain chemistry and like, entire life.

Here I thought this was gonna just be a chill time of me discovering a new game I'd enjoy

[lagtrain]

the problem with playing ensekai is not knowing when certain songs & events will be coming

[kaleidoscopic-quiddity]

YO I'VE BEEN THINKING ABT AUTISRIC REKI N ADHD LANGA FOR W E E K S

like. like. i dont want to bash anyones HCs bcs you dont need a REASON 2 HC someone as adhd/autistic however: I am Very firm in my belief thay Reki! does not! show ADHD traits that aren't also autistic traits, while ALSO showing autistic-only traits!! Langa sort of has? both? hut in my mind I still lean towards inattentive ADHD Langa bcs. supported by canon babyyyy

n e way I'm SO glad theres someone else who Also thinks that. do u have any HCs abt them?

yea babey!! like at the end of the day reki and langa both have traits that can be read as autistic and/or adhd and i dont need to like, write a damn dissertation defending why i hc them the way it do, its all for fun and im not hurting anybody 

ANYWAYS AS FOR HCS IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED: 

Langa and Reki have no concept of volume control but in opposite directions, Reki will get up to full on yelling w/out realising it whilst Langa’s constantly being asked to repeat himself bc his natural register is like, barely above muttering. 

I hc that Reki carries around fidget cubes and stim toys w/ him because otherwise he’ll like pick at his nails or chew his lips (haha what no i defo don’t do that,,) whilst he’s doing schoolwork or designing skateboards and i like to imagine that he lends Langa one and it totally rocks Langa’s world lmao, he’s like ‘Reki I’m actually getting thru my homework in one sitting :00′ and Reki’s like ‘yeah bro why do you think I always have one with me?’ 

So obvi Reki has a BIG special interest in skateboarding and Langa loves to hear him infodump abt it, like he doesn’t always necessarily get everything Reki’s saying but he knows how happy it makes him to have somebody listen. Also I imagine Reki tries to return the favour like and at first Langa’s like ‘oh i don’t really have a topic I’m super invested in like you’ but after some prodding Reki gets him to go off about snowboarding and the differences between Canada and Japan, they’re just a positive feedback loop of infodumping.

Okay quickfire round:�� Langa is the king of forgetting where he puts his shit and Reki’s always keeping track of it for him. Reki’s hoodies are comfort items, kinda like wearing a weighted blanket all the time but less heavy. Langa is prone to shutdowns after beefs when all the adrenaline wears off and he realises how loud S actually is. Reki stims by flapping his hands up and down when he’s really happy (what no I’m not projecting) and he’s kinda embarrassed by it by it because he says it makes him look like a bird but Langa loves it because he loves seeing Reki happy. Langa is mostly inattentive type but he also has impulse control the size of a peanut, Reki also has No Impulse Control and tbh its only a matter of time before these idiots try skateboarding blindfolded I swear.  Did you know being autistic can fuck with your perception of pain? anyways thats my justification for how Reki handled getting beat up by 3 guys, getting hit by a car, and beefing against Adam in the space of like, two days, blunt force trauma just doesn’t bother him that much.  Langa has alexithymia and is just,, so bad at putting his thoughts and feelings in to words, I bet you he practiced that lil speech he gave Reki in the skatepark in episode 10 for HOURS in front of his mirror.  Reki is hyper-empathetic and feels it when his boards get damaged, its hard not to get attached when he spends hours upon hours working on them.  Langa is dyslexic because I am too and I say so, he’s already having a hard enough time with english and now he’s gotta learn hiragana and kanji too? please help him.  And finally, Miya is autistic and adhd (hyperactive-impulsive type) and that’s why he vibes so hard w/ Reki and Langa, us neurodivergent homies have a 6th sense for each other sometimes and Miya immediately clocked Reki and Langa lmao 

[nagiscap]

chapter 123 - number one in the world review! 

this chapter was heart breaking also sorry for being so inactive i got sm drabbles to finish so if you sent an ask just know it might take me some time! anyway i hope you enjoy my review of this chapter it is really long i had a lot to say WARNING!!! there will be SPOILERS!!! ahead! 

this panel is precious is so many different ways ikko is focused on the second half the real bakugo impersonator aka jingo is out here screaming abt jyubei and jyubei is being a narcissist

the way reo know seishiro that well pls i cant take this today like theyre so toxic i dont need this in my life bc now it got me rooting for the toxic besties to be besties again 

like stop reo stop simping seishiro dont treat u right king move on u dont need this I DONT NEED THIS i cant keep trying to defend nagi when u always make him look like a jerk for dropping u 

bestie is probs so mad hes not playing 

i called this!! i knew they were some how going to loop isagi into this i disagree rin has carried this team to leading in the first half partially bc of sae all isagi was no shade to him was a dummy!!!

not ego giving props to yoichi like he did smth when he was literally a dummy i cant the mc loop in is too much for me sometimes 

even rin admitted it like isagi was just ther jchilling like he didnt actually know he was being used as a dummy player (this is almost like if karim benzema before ronaldo left madrid didnt know he was being used as a dummy striker for ronaldo i cantttt)

ok mc do ur thang!!!

ego the vibe killer also more hints that my prediction is correct and i can see both the u20 team and blue lock 11 make it out of this bullshit tie theory pull through 

yo ego knows how to kill a hype mood but interesting that there is no formation changes i think ryusei is going to shake shit up for the u20 team and also cause rin and sae to fight (more backstory!!!!) and then ego will sub in barou 

hey boyfie im expecting another goal tbh reo and i are manifesting

i am thinking many thoughts i mean look at him but also backstory time!!!! 

SAE HASNT CHANGED i srsly dont understand him like where is the joy in football but maybe like losing for him is what he is passionate abt idk or maybe hes yearning to play with someone on his level kindaaaa live bachira???

god of being an asshole since day one no change kind do ur thing

no one hit me up this is so cute goodbye what went wrong i need to know bc this shit honestly hurted me 

new expression unlocked! sae angry but with more facial expression. also not rin saying his brother is nice lmaoo what was the reason for the switch up bc it constantly shitty brother this and that now

maybe rin beat him and that bruised sae’s ego or maybe sae no longer saw rin as interesting and deemed him worthless and that deteriorated their relationship bc other than that i have no clue what sparked their split

WAIT PAuSE maybe i wanst paying attention but i have never seen sae make this face like he is putting in the work like hes trying pause also rin is adorable this is precious i mean it was obvious rin was sae’s biggest fan even from the beginning all that obsession can only mean one thing #fanbehaviour

genuinely thought sae was going to bully the shit out of rin but also can we talk abt how sae has shown zero respect for any of his teammates maybe oliver if u squint (they share that roleplay dynamic) but everyone else he is a total jack ass

no one hit me up this shit is making me cry... it’s so unfair wtf they are so precious 

NUMBER ONE NICEST OMG GOODBEY I CANT DO THIS THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL WTF like no wonder rin is sae’s biggest fan bitch if he said this shit to me id be the same and if he dropped me id be bitter af i cant lie im starting to understand rin more these days

[cartooonfan1266]

quick responses to bullet points cause eepy

gonna have to check out Sky now

i completely forgot you can see a blacked out sif... and the fact its called a photo of your family made me jump when I actually opened it in act 5

but yeah love the family being protective over sif

yeah isa/sif is nice, and love canon asexual characters in relationships (once again forgot about the familial labels on relationships, your initial concern now makes much more sense)

I think theres a specific dialogue option that says something along the lines of "Yes, talk to the housemaiden" and "No, keep looping" at the end of act 4 which just stuck out to me and knowing what the last pieces where to trigger act 5 made this significantly more obvious (this option is not given at any other time)

u are right about the end poem vibes, i just keep thinking about one post which puts the universe as an important to the story (i will reblog again) and I now cannot see the ISAT universe as caring

yeah when you dont use memory of looping your loop count can jump up by up to 5 (because memory of looping uses your number of loops, so would be overpowered if the loop count remained inconsistent). saw this in one run, where i jumped from 219 to 224 by simply looping back to dormont after beating the king

yep! no quitting here! the only way out is through

yeah i just like seeing sif not on the title screen (he got out he got out)

lmao i am already obsessed

I would like your thoughts on ISAT please and thank you

AAAAAAAA

im going through this in bullet points based on what pops up in my mind so i might jump from act to act. under cut for Major Spoilers

- color palette. stunning awe-inspiring astounding and the fact that its even acknowledged in-game (and then WONDERFULLY subverted by the scarlet of the world ending!!). i remember seeing isat fanart on the dash and i was like 'why are all these in monochrome' but it makes sense i literally cannot imagine siff with color

- i pronounced pretty much every name wrong (according to the wiki at least). what do you mean bonnie's name is pronounced like THAT. well except odile i called her odie on purpose

- headcanoning that siffrin is from sky children of the light. hes got the cloak hes got the connection to the stars hes got the evil unswayable king. one could argue that sky is also a timeloop game (albeit one without much focus on it) due to eden reruns. the isle could be the isle of dawn. also both skykid and siffrin start with s let me have this

- on the topic of crossovers: narrator (tsp) and loop would absolutely be worsties. you cannot convince me otherwise. they Hate each other's guts and constantly piss the other off

- and on the topic of loop somewhat: GOD that boss battle. loop's eye cracking red.... loop looping..... LOOP USING THE SAME ATTACK AS SIFF........ and then siff winning and sparing them because they helped them get so far in the first place. TWO HATS...... so much dialogue becomes recontextualized its insane

- also THE DAGGER. i was sort of pissed off at loop throughout basically the whole game so when the dagger came up i jumped at the chance to tell loop to fuck right off with what they think and don't think is good for siff but then....... god the game treats suicide with as much gravity as it's worth it was genuinely so jarring to see the game contort loop in order to grant my wish (....HOLY SHIT) just seeing loop go all white-eyed and narrator-voiced.... and then the tree glitches into a warped version because thats loops tree and you just contorted loop......aaaaaaaaa. i did almost try to do One death with it just to see what it was like but loop's begging through narrator-voice was just.... it reminded me so much of narry's (tsp) begging in the zending and i was like "nope not using the dagger not at all"

- one major crit of the game is how hard it pushes familial ideals. i really dislike familial dynamics (thank you mcyt) and the fact that everyone was shafted so hard into very specific roles just bugs me. i do prefer it without the hard shafting but i'd rather them all be queerplatonic at best. come on guys platonic bonds are fantastic please please please stop making this a traditional family when i said i liked found family i did not mean literal family. more deep meaningful platonic bonds in the world please. also just based off how mcyt treats the clockers and stuff do i want to know how people treat isa x sif (whatever its called)

- another crit is the save system. this ones more minor but i wish you could save from any point in the game instead of just those little lights. just a small inconvenience.

- but back to positives im just going to dedicate a whole bullet point to specifically the bonnie-murder-and-subsequent-jumpscare. ill be honest i DID spoil myself for this one but i am glad i did it because even with the warning i was jumpscared by it actually happening. just... you try reasoning with the king because okay maybe this is a really extreme reaction and he can be reasoned with and then you can stop looping but the king isnt going to change if he wanted to change he wouldve done it earlier and then he forces siff to watch as the kid--the kid they gave their eye for, the kid they keep giving their half-immortal life for--is slowly and painfully crushed to death in front of their eyes. that is when you realize the king CANNOT be reasoned with. i saw a youtube comment that was like 'the reason bonnie goes blackout is because siff is actively flashback-ing to that moment and actively redacting all the gore out as it goes' and it has NOT left my head let me tell you. just... the way it shows siff's sanity slippage, and the way that exact blackout is then used in act 5 as an eerie callback..... god it makes me ILL. including the fact that the loop i got that on was one where the daydreamer dis-remembered their sibling AND the change god's statue had a different face and i was like 'siffrin is So Fine You Guys'

- also the change god. both the statue (love how its face changes at random, i only saw two during my playthrough but theres a whole bunch on the wiki) and the little quest thing. thats the ONLY OTHER TIME we see white-eyed loop through the whole game which. Well. also i think its cute how they talk with kaomojis with mira. best god ever would absolutely dedicate my life to that guy as well

- SPEAKING OF! best aroace rep ever mira love of my life /p she is ALSO a doubtful anxious "chosen one" who will murder to save her friends and loves them all so very dearly and also has a roommate who makes bombs. shes the best i love her i think she deserves to rip the king to shreds with her teeth

- ok so to preface this i was actually reliant on a map for my playthrough because like three times i accidentally looped to floor three when i was trying to see the library and i could Not take it anymore. but act 5 messing up the whole house is evil. took me like half an hour just to figure out how to get to a star crest because i kept ending up in the infirmary and getting stuck. i know im just experiencing the intended effect but like still. siff next time you have a mental breakdown due to the depression and insanity caused by being trapped in a timeloop without anyone else to speak with excepting an immoral god whose only goal is to piss you off as much as possible.... could you PLEASE remember the house better

- but on that topic.... god siff "the lost one" rin's crafts are very telling of their mental state. the fact that all the puns are gone from the attack names.... no more jackpot points because theres no one else to do jackpots with.... and then all three attack skills having no cooldown while the buff and the heal both do....... (that one in particular is making me have thoughts. it hurts more to heal and get better than to keep lashing out at any desperate hope you've got for breaking out without addressing your own issues.) i love the crafts in general because of the very personalized nature of the names but act 5's crafts and also the "just attack" craft are like. Siffrin Is So Fine You Guys Teehee

- my first impression of bonnie was "young and angry. yeah that's a pretty accurate descriptor of them siff." my current impression of bonnie is "how the fuck are they so good at cooking"

- i accidentally began act 5 before i finished a sidequest...... to be fair it was the sidequest w/ the chateau castle comics but like.... still. i was so close i literally just had to go back to that guy with the knowledge of that final issue. additionally the ghosts quest. i was trying to do a whole run of the castle (grindy purposes) and i got both ghosts on the first two floors before not getting the one on the third floor. it was evil it was so evil. damn you rng

- i love that one lesbian jeweller in dormont. actually i love the casual queer rep in general. mira's whole quest is about coming out as aroace in a world that Very Much does Not want that to happen. isa is probably trans. 40% of the main cast is non-binary. the lesbian jeweller. apparently mira's roommate has a crush on the head housemaiden but to be quite frankly honest the only thing i remember about claude is their name and that they build bombs. bomb-building lesbians ftw i guess

- ....okay yeah i did fall for the pineapple slices. In My Defense i was immersing myself in siff when i fell for it and i was Not Thinking about loop i was thinking "oh my god i love pineapple lets project my love of pineapple onto this traumatized punmaster". barked a laugh aloud when they said it was good. spicy :3

- also i did accidentally spoil myself for the ending but... somehow i arrived at the conclusion that the king was actually siff from before and that siff's climax would be defeating the king and then taking his place when the party tried to leave. thank GOD it wasn't that (i would've rioted) i love what we actually got much better.

- king shouldve died for realsies. you do NOT just murder bonnie like that and then send siff into a panic attack and expect to get off with a sympathetic ending let me beat his ass up

- i literally cried at the ending. let me just say i do not cry at video games easily but like..... siffrin's loved. he's spent the entire game desperate for any scrap of attention, slowly spiralling as the loops keep happening and everything keeps falling out of his hands, convincing himself hes a disgusting manipulative bastard who cant even see properly.... and then when they realize that that's why he was an asshole to him, because he's been hearing the same rote lines over and over and he hasn't been telling anybody.... and then they forgive him. they don't forget--siffrin did hurt people, justified or not --but he's not an awful person for wanting to be loved, for wanting to have something to hold onto. he's terrified of being alone so much so that he inadvertently traps himself in a timeloop because he can't stand the thought of them parting ways. and it's not his fault. he can be forgiven. they still love him.

- (you know, while i was playing, i saw the universe belief and my mind immediately jumped to "and the universe says i love you because you are love". call me obsessed with mcyt, but it feels a little like it fits in isat, i think.)

- but siffrin's loved. after 106 loops (in my case), a thousand dead ends and red herrings, failed kisses and intimacy cravings and teammate murders and cheeky gods and trauma, so much trauma.... after they've run themselves ragged trying to break themselves out and nearly crashed and burned..... siff's finally free.

[itsthesinbin]

Insert Title Here (Obey Me Fic)

i dont have a title yet.

im still getting characterization down and im also not even halfway thru the game so forgive me if i fuck things up DSFKGDSFKDG

the mc is one of the species ive made- chimeras. for ppl who have been here a long time, u shld remember them. for newbies, i wont spoil what they are if this DOES become an actual thing

please reblog and/or leave a comment in the notes if you like this! i need feedback to be sure people would actually enjoy the fic!

---------------------------------------------------

Hm.

“I don’t think I summoned the right person.” Diavolo looked down at the file he had in his hand, examining the picture attached to the front of the folder. A normal young woman stared back at him- blonde hair, pale blue eyes, glasses perched on her nose. The demon prince looked back down at the… creature… on the ground.

Passed out, he couldn’t see her eyes, but the wild blonde hair was almost a perfect match. Lucifer was currently draping his coat over her, as she had shown up naked. Ram-like horns sat on her head, and a tail twitched behind her in her sleep. Tan skin shifted into scales along their arms- and their stomach, from the little Diavolo saw before he averted his eyes. Her legs were much like a cat’s, her fingers and toes webbed and holding wicked looking claws.

“You think,” Satan asked, coming over to his eldest brother’s side to examine the summoned creature. Diavolo crouched down, getting a closer look at her face. Her soul. Asmodeus spoke up while Diavolo did his small investigation.

“What the fuck is it?” Asmodeus leaned over the table, his question earning a stern glare from Lucifer. Asmodeus simply shrugged, sitting back down next to a very confused- and very hungry- Beelzebub.

“... They are… definitely human-” Diavolo announced- “Maybe a… genetic relative?” Diavolo looked through the file again, seeing if he missed a note on any children or family. Asmodeus finally spoke up.

“Why didn’t the original human show?” Lucifer looked to Diavolo, who was just as confused. Before the prince could answer, the creature on the ground began to stir. The three surrounding them moved back, allowing her to wake up without being crowded.

Pale blue eyes appeared before them, unfocused and hazy. They snapped open a moment later, pupils turning to slits. The creature before the demons jumped up, knocking the coat off with a furious hiss. Satan in particular reeled back, feeling her fury harder than the others in the room.

She scrambled back into a corner, staring at the demons with wide, wild eyes. Much too wide for a normal human, if Solomon was any reference point. Dark blue scales glittered on her heaving chest, a rattling noise coming from her tail. Her pointed ears were pinned back against her head in anger.

“We… understand you must be confused, and scared,” Diavolo started, hands raised in a nonthreatening manner. He took a single step closer, and the woman let out a screech that made the three younger demons hold their ears. Lucifer and Diavolo cringed slightly, exchanging a look as she stopped screaming.

“We won’t come any closer. We just wish to talk.” Diavolo was tempted to send her back, but he’d need to get her back in the circle for that. And he doubts she’d simply follow his request to move.

“... What is your name?” She stayed quiet, the rattle on her tail slowly stopping. Her eyes scraped over everyone in the room, daring any of them to move. No one did. Slowly, she sat down on the ground, much like a cat ready to pounce.

“... My name is Diavolo, I am the ruler of all demons, and all here know of me. And someday soon, I will be crowned king of the Devildom.” There was a beat of silence where she just stared at the prince.

“Fuck you.” Everyone reeled back at that, before Satan put a hand over his mouth to keep himself from laughing. He was starting to like this creature.

Lucifer was about to speak up, but Diavolo held a hand up to silence him. Clearly, she was scared and angry. Diavolo wasn’t going to take it personally. Luke was, while not as vulgar, very angry when he arrived as well.

“Why I here?” Lucifer cleared his throat, making her head snap to where he was. Diavolo placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“This is Lucifer- a demon, and the Avatar of Pride. He’s also the vice president of the student council and my right-hand man. Beyond that, he’s my most trusted friend,” the prince laughed, ignoring the glare from the human(?) in the corner. Lucifer sighed slightly, subtly shrugging Diavolo’s hand off of his shoulder.

“Welcome to our academy, even if your appearance here is… surprising, to everyone.” The woman hissed, baring her fangs at Lucifer. A bold move, if she were a demon.

“WHY I HERE?” Lucifer looked her over, crossing his arms.

“She certainly is different from Solomon,” he muttered, before starting his rehearsed speech on the reasoning for the exchange program. Satan could feel her rage build, the longer Lucifer talked. Yeah. He understood the feeling.

“You are our new exchange student, it seems, miss…?” Lucifer hoped he would get a name out of her. They needed to confirm if she was, somehow, the woman they originally intended to summon from the human world. When she didn’t answer, he continued with a sigh.

“Your period of stay is one year. You will have to work on the tasks that you receive from RAD. After one year, you will write a paper about your exchange here in the Devildom.” The woman snarled.

“I- I’m- LET ME GO!” The fury in her words was betrayed by the wobble in her voice. She pressed further back against the wall, claws digging at the stone behind her. She was terrified. Trapped.

“I’m sorry, but there’s no going back.” Right now, anyway. “For one year, you are under our care and you will be attending RAD. Do you understand?”

The woman’s chest heaved, breathing picking up again to near hyperventilation levels. Her eyes were focused on Lucifer, but she was looking right through him. Satan bristled slightly, feeling himself grow a bit lightheaded at how strong her anger was. He had to keep himself calm.

The woman darted forward, toward Lucifer and Diavolo.

Quick as a flash, Lucifer grabbed her and pinned her to the floor. The woman thrashed and screeched under Lucifer’s grip, trying to reach back to swipe him with her claws. Her tail slammed into his side shockingly hard. Not that it really hurt him, but it was much stronger than he thought a human would be. If… humans had tails, that was.

She suddenly grew slack, eyes rolling back as she went unconscious. Barbatos, who had been off to the side, put his hand down when she was out. He had to put a stop to that before someone got hurt- human or demon.

Slowly, Lucifer released his grip on her. He didn’t get up from his straddle over her, in case she suddenly woke up, looking up at Diavolo for an order or suggestion.

The prince was at a loss for words, for once. On top of not knowing exactly what this woman was- sure her soul was human but she clearly wasn’t fully- he didn’t expect to just be attacked.

“... Take her to the House of Lamentation, Lucifer, and… maybe try to talk some sense into her there. Barbatos and I will… try to figure out who she even is.” Lucifer felt the migraine coming on. Sometimes he despised his job.

“Of course.” He grabbed his coat again, wrapping her up as Barbatos explained the spell would wear off in three hours. With a nod, Lucifer scooped her up and made his way over to his brothers. Asmodeus immediately cringed away, while Beelzebub just kind of… stared. Lucifer was pretty sure he was in shock.

He turned to Satan, who was still calming down from the intense rage he felt second-hand. Lucifer frowned.

“Satan? Are you alright?” The fourth eldest cleared his throat, flushing slightly in embarrassment.

“Yes. It… She was very angry- the sudden wave of it threw me for a loop, so to speak.” He had expected some anger, sure, but that? It was like expecting a drizzle and walking into a tsunami.

It was kind of funny.

Lucifer hummed slightly, before motioning for his brothers to follow.

“Let’s get her home, then. Satan, call Mammon and let him know he’ll be in charge of her.” Satan paused at that.

“... I’d love to see Mammon get his backside handed to him as much as the next demon, but don’t you think that’s a bad idea?” Lucifer growled slightly. Satan sighed, opening his D.D.D before Lucifer started one of his “are you disobeying an order” tirades.

“Fine. Don’t blame me when Mammon comes back missing a few fingers, though.” Actually. That sounded kinda funny. Maybe Lucifer had the right idea, not that Satan would admit it.

While the fourth argued with the second about his new position as… animal sitter, Beelzebub and Asmodeus fell into step next to their eldest brother.

“Are you sure this is a good idea? Can’t we pick someone else and send her back while she’s asleep,” Beelzebub asked, holding his hands over his stomach nervously. Lucifer glanced down at the sleeping creature, who was still trembling even while unconscious.

“... If it becomes too much of a hassle, I’ll talk to Diavolo. For now, we have to give it a try. It would take too long to find a new applicant. That being said… let’s find a reinforced room for her.” Lucifer didn’t want her busting out in the middle of the night.

“Maybe soundproof, too,” Asmodeus mumbled, wrapping his arms around himself in sheer discomfort. They were supposed to be taking care of this thing? Maybe he could get out of it if he avoided her. 

Lucifer shot him a look, but didn’t say anything. That screech definitely caught everyone off guard. His ears were still ringing. Which was only being made worse because he could hear Mammon yelling over Satan’s phone. The eldest sighed heavily.

Lucifer knew he had a long, long year ahead of him.

[hiuythn]

do u have any krbk fics that u can rec? any favorites of urs! ☺️

you’re in luck bc i just made a rec list for a friend so i have this ready for you

also i’ve got over 200 krbk bookmarks on ao3 so feel free to check that out if you finish this rec list.

all (except one) of these are completed. they're in no particular order. i tried to find ones that are less known, bc idk how much you've read but i'm assuming all the popular ones are familiar to you. happy reading! 💖💖💖

Inevitable - Legendaerie - 8k - mature CLASSIC 'bkg thinks they've been together and kiri thinks he's still pining' TROPE. it's INCOMPREHENSIBLE to me why this doesn't have more fucking kudos!!! why!!!

Tiny Truths - Quirk Archivist (OneHitWondersAnonymous) - 4k - teen bkg gets de-aged. kid him reveals sth to class 1a, more imptly, to KIRI, abt some ideas about what it means to open a hero agency together. it's super adorable!!

Punch My Mouth with Your Mouth - QuestCat44 - 4k - teen bkg spars with deku more bc OfA is acting up and he's the only one in the know. kiri gets jealous but he's so good-natured that his jealousy is only bc he misses sparring/spending time with bkg. BKG, on the other hand, is worried kiri is mad for different reasons asdkjfhasdhfa

all according to keikaku........... - carolinaa - 8k - teen the title should already tell you how good this is. I LOVE JEALOUSY FICS WHEN THEY'RE MORE FUNNY THAN ANGSTY AND THIS IS SO FUNNY. kiri gets tired of deku being a pussy around todo and decides to flirt with todo to get deku jealous enough to do sth about it. bkg and todo are both horrified for VERY different reasons DHADSKDFHJS

doll me up - shizuumi151 - 6k - gen kiri gets turned into a doll by a kid's quirk and no one knows. bkg still ends up caring for him :’)

These Words Are Ours - deviance - 2k - teen soulmate au but bkg figures who's going to say his words before it happens, and honestly that's kind of the point. he's not the type to fall in love at first sight. he MAKES the choice to love kiri and that, my friends, is my kind of soulmate au.

all good things need sunshine - shizuumi151 - 3k - teen FLORIST KIRI. BKG WANTS A BOUQUET THAT SAYS  'FUCK YOU'

Flour Power - WingSongHalo - 26k - teen KRBK HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF A BAG OF FLOUR AND PRETEND IT'S THEIR BABY

feedback loop - bigstupidjellyfish - 1k - teen PRO HERO BKG GETS THROWN BACK IN TIME FOR A BIT AND MEETS MIDDLE SCHOOL KIRI AND HE'S SO SOFT TO HIM ASDFHKASDFJ. i am a big fan of bkg being a fan of kiri. i can't get ENOUGH OF IT. can someone give me more fics like this

mixed signals - bigstupidjellyfish - 2k -teen a short 'what if' fic where kiri and bkg went to the same middle school. bkg's still an ass but kiri's still his equal it seems, and is just as good as handling him as ever

Trash Goblin Finds Love - wrunic - 4k - teen COFFEE SHOP AU. BARISTA   KIRI GETS SICK ONE TIME AND BKG MAKES HIM SOUP AND FORCES KIRI'S COWORKER TO DELIVER IT ASDJHFS

Dreaming of a White Mocha Christmas - let_me_wander - 8k - teen ANOTHER COFFEE SHOP AU.  BARISTA KIRI AND HIS FAV CUSTOMER ;) GET SNOWED IN  

Something Warm - let_me_wander - 15k - teen YES FOLKS IT'S A A A ANOTHER COFFEE SHOP FIC, THAT'S RIGHT!! BARISTA BKG THIS TIME. also kr is in a band and writes a song for bkg asdfhksjd

Kneel - deviance - 7k - explicit idk if you wanted explicit stuff but this is pretty light sub stuff, they're not even properly together at the beginning, and there isn’t sex til the end. i just liked how kiri is the only one bkg would rely on for sth this private, and it's more emotional than it is sexual?

Everyone Knows That Cats Are Independent - PurplePersnickety - 39k - teen YET. ANOTHER. COFFEE SHOP AU. but also?? daemons?? katsuki's got a lionness, and kiri has a...i'll let you find out. anyway they become closer and closer and closer and the flirting is so fucking excruciatingly obvious but cute and sdkjfhasdjs it's such a queer experience like 'is he...no he cant be...but what if he did like me - no that's not possible. but what if?' and they get so domestic sometimes i swear i'm about to puke from how cute it is. this is my fav coffee shop au ngl

Broken Bridges - DeathBelle - 68k - explicit plot fic!! krbk loses touch after gradutation. kiri comes back from korea and starts to work together with bkg, dealing with a series of murders and MAN the action is 👌 easy to follow but it hits all the beats, has that Flow. krbk being a power couple will never get old!!

Of Ghosts and other Inaccurate Things - chezka - 56k - gen pretty sure you've seen this one around but STILL. BKG FALLING FOR 'GHOST' KIRI IS BEST. this au really takes FULL COMPLETE advantage of the fact that krbk CANNOT TOUCH and the yearning practically astral-projected me back into the my past life when i was a dung beetle that got crushed under the foot of an elephant. it hurt, basically. but it hurt so good. JUST LET BKG HUG KIRI!!! happy ending ofc.

Catching Bees - MonocerosRex - 2k - teen bkg has to pay his classmates compliments. class 1a hijinks. the krbk in this is short but it made me squeal sdhfkakjl

i'm going to the forest to kick my own ass - WannabeMarySue - 5k - teen TODO PRANKS BKG BUT UNLUCKY FOR HIM BKG IS COMPETITIVE AND ACTUALLY LEARNS SOMETHING

Hair Care 101 - overlymetaromantic - 7k - gen ASDHFASDFHAJKS KIRI MEETS BKG'S MOM BY ACCIDENT AND GETS HAIR HELP AND THEY TALK ABOUT BKG AND IT'S SO. CUTE. AND THEN BKG DYES KR'S HAIR IN THE SECOND CHAPTER AND THEY'RE SO BLUSHY AND SWEET I CAN'T!!

Sometimes We Fall in the Dark - timetoboldlygo - 16k - teen BKG TAKING PHOTOS OF THINGS FOR THERAPY. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT HOW YOU PHOTOGRAPH THINGS YOU TREASURE 👀👀👀

Corn Chip - smol_bird - 23k - teen I DONT FUCKIGN KNOW WHY THIS DOESN'T HAVE MORE KUDOS. IT'S LITERALLY SO GOOD. DEMON KIRI IS JOKINGLY SUMMONED BY BKG AND FRIENDS. THEY FALL IN LOVE. KIRI HAS TO LEAVE. BKG IS DETERMINED NOT TO LET THAT HAPPEN. HAPPY ENDING. WHAT ELSE COULD YOU ASK FOR

'cause i love you for infinity - multiclassmaps - 23k - teen SDHFADSJFASD DEMON AU AGAIN. THIS TIME IT'S KIRI THAT DOES THE SUMMONING. BUT WHY DOES BKG SEEM SO FAMILIAR??? WHAT CAN KIRI DO TO MAKE HIM STAY??

to the beat of your heart - drifting_i - 8k - gen BAND AU. KIRI WORKS AT A RESTAURANT AND SOMEHOW BEFRIENDS DRUMMER BKG AND BKG'S BAND CAN'T BELIEVE THAT KIRI GETS AWAY WITH HALF THE SHIT BKG ALLOWS HIM TO

Playing Favorites - vaporeon_ninja - 2k - gen AKSDJFHJADHFKA BKG GETS CALLED OUT ON HIS KIRI FAVOURITISM

(Not Quite) Proposal - imatrisarahtops - 783 - teen DRUNK BKG IS SAPPY WITH HIS BOYF

something worth remembering - bbuggs - 1k - teen DRUNK BKG AGAIN!!! THIS TIME HE DOESN'T REMEMBER KIRI IS HIS HUSBAND AND HE'S SO DISTRAUGHT ABOUT KIRI BEING TAKEN SDFJHSK

A Dragon's Hoard - chezka - 10k - teen kiri gets turned into a dragon bc of a quirk. LOVE HOW DRAGON KIRI STILL LIKES BKG BEST

Love Notes - PurplePersnickety - 5k - teen LOVE NOTES BKG LEAVES LOVE NOTES FOR KIRI IT'S SO SWEET

Define: Oblivious - PurplePersnickety - 45k - teen this is the second part to Love Notes, it's still updating BUT PLEASE CHECK IT OUT TOO BC KIRI DOES STH SO BADASS DURING PRACTICAL TRAINING I LOVE HIM I REREAD THIS NOW AND THEN JUST FOR HOW COOL HE IS IN THAT ONE CHAPTER. also the steady, careful way krbk define their relationship and bkg's demisexuality is so sweet, so good.

The Hard Easy - dirtbag - 4k - teen this one is pretty popular but i still gotta mention it bc. kissing lessons. KISSING LESSONS!!! i love how eagar bkg is askdfhks

Kitsune's Pride - kytrin, Mslead - 147k - explicit okay this was A DOOZY like i???? the plot???? the time travel and the oni and kitsune stuff???? bkg and kiri being badasses??? bkg wanting the best for kiri and angrily supporting him??? this was the first time i kept up to date with a fic when it was still updating and commenting every chapte,r i was so hooked. and ALSO like the authors have written SO MUCH more longfics like this like they have NOVELS and i REALLY rec you check them out like....bro idk how they do they have so much out already and i think and they're updating two more rn and i'm. their bitch tbh

Burden of Proof - kytrin, Mslead - 153k - explicit OK ONE MORE REC FOR THESE AUTHORS. burden of proof is so. so fcukign good. i have adhd and these guys have never one lost me even tho their fics are upwards of 60k. this fic has dragons, it has plot, it has growth and healing and found families and i WISH i could write sth this intricate.

Burger Kings - plantegg - 5k - teen stupid teenage boys being stupid. kiri blackmails bkg into going on a date asjdfhkdsjfakd

Worth a Thousand Words - awareoftheconcept - 43k - teen SDKJFHASKH THIS IS A GUILTY PLEASURE OF MINE I KNOW THE LACK OF COMMUNICATION TROPE IS OVERUSED BUT I CAN'T HELP FALL FOR ANGSTY KIRI AND OMG THE CONFRONTATION SCENE AT THE END IS SO. SO. SO MOVIE-ESQUE I HATE HOW LAME I AM. basically everyone thinks bkg is dating camie asdkjfhskd

Day 6: Fandom - PullingAllMighters, SweetBrew - 9k - mature bkg and kiri don't know each other until they're pro heros and only bc they start a competition to see who's better and they go to each other's signings undercover and develop crushes on each other and deku is an enABLER ASHAHAJFS

Scales Ain't The Same As Feathers - Julietwasanidiot - 2k - gen GOD THIS IS SO CUTE BABY BKG "FINDERS KEEPERS" A BABY DRAGON KIRI SKDHFHD but he thinks kiri is a chicken

Charades - orphan_account - 4k - teen this is just soft....game night....at one point bkg acts out a really romantic word for charades and he's EMBARRASSED SDJFHA. also kiri falls asleep on him and there's some hair stroking....soft...

Cranky-rishima - PurplePersnickety - 29k - teen kirishima is the one with nightmares in this one and he gets CRANKY and BKG has to be the one to reach out and i thought that was such a fresh reversal loved it

No Secrets to Success - kingdoms - 7k - teen THIS IS MY FAV!! MY ABSOLUTE FAV JUST BC I LOVE IT WHEN FICS MAKE PEOPLE GAPE IN AWE FROM HOW SOFT BKG IS WITH KIRI. also krbk forming their relationship outside of school in this au was so??? sweet??? it's just them hanging out together. ALSO KIRI IS SO GOOD AT POKING BKG'S BUTTONS ASJDFHASK

Built to Fall - bigstupidjellyfish - 68k - explicit pro heros fic. they had a bad breakup in third year and oh god the angst is QUALITY. DW THEY TOTALLY MAKE UP AND IT'S SO FCKN WORTH IT. bkg also got therapy so he’s a little more stable as an adult lol

A Name That You'll Remember - heronfem - 33k - mature bkg is a fail!villain. he fell in with the wrong crowd when he was younger. he doesn't actually do anything wrong. in fact, all of his 'crimes' are generally stopped by kiri and somehow all end up exposing corruption anyway, so he's actually helping. kids love bkg. he always makes sure they're safe before he robs a jewelry store or sth. somehow kiri ends up flirting with him in all their fights and bkg has no idea what to make of him. the public can't get enough of them

strawberry mango sweet - redriotinggg - 9k - teen it's just a really sweet smoothie shop au!!! it's good reliable fluff!! what else can you ask for!!

cultivating something so divine - redriotinggg - 10k - teen redriotinggg yet again, i love this au, it's vet!au and kiri is so good at loving animals that bkg hires him and they fall in love and it's also got some competency porn, as in krbk are hella good at their job like power couple ayy

Tension Reduction - acernor - 10k - explicit Kirishima is a massage therapist and Bakugo needs help relaxing.

Mistletoe? Mistletoe. - Tearsaresalty - 2k - teen class 1a keeps making bkg kiss kiri and neither of them really mind wow i wonder why 🙄

[nat-20s]

tell me about sea shanties,...

Okay SO since my local libraries are (rightfully) not open right now I cannot listen to my inner hyperfixation gremlin and hole up there for four hours consuming everything about sea shanties so i dont actually know a TON about them but here's what i got:

1. Different types of shanties were used for different work purposes so basically some beats were for like long sustained rythmic tasks while others were more "heave and ho" shanties for things like unloading cargo

2. The call and response of sea shanties is particularly important not just because of the rythm establishment but because one of the absolute MAIN purposes of shanties im general were too boost camaraderie and morale!!! Which i just think is so incredibly lovely and like i have a lot of Feelings about singing as a method of bringing about togetherness and hope in times of struggle and how it's so human and wonderful and shanties are SUCH a good example

3. Many shanties (such as the famous Drunken Sailor) are designed and often encouraged to have lyrics thay can be made up on the fly looping back to that whole camaraderie and morale thing

4. Haul Away Joe is my personal fave shanty bc of a combo of the tune and the fucking BANGER lines "king louie was the king of France before the revolution // but then he got his head chopped off it spoiled his constitution"

[onepunchmiss]

OPM s2e10 Live Blog

“Justice Under Siege”

ALRIGHT so despite the fact that it is the 1 week anniversary of my death, OPM has forcefully wrenched me from the underworld to come continue with the season. So here I am and I’ve already posted my guess for what this episode will entail so lets see how well I handle it! (see: how much I scream) As always, I’m watching as someone who is up to date on both the Manga and webcomic

ASDFGHJKL I OPENED OPM ON HULU AND IT IMMEDIATELY PICKED UP WHERE I LEFT OFF AT REWATCHING THE ZOMBIEMAN BIT HOW DARE I WAS NOT READY

lets try that again ok

AHA YES OMG we’re starting with this!! I was totally expecting to pick up exactly where we left off, with Destrochloridium at the HA but OK throw me for a loop! Mix it up! “ORA ORA ORA ORA” I love Saitamas VA, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I laffff oh my god it keeps going in the background as Kind talks I can’t

This is the scariest Saitama face I have ever witnessed wtf??? Why does it look so creepy?? Also, they added quite a bit to this scene huh? I guess They have to amp up the jokes since shit is getting pretty serious otherwise at this point in the series. OH SHIT THE DING ‘NO OTHER WORDS CAME TO MIND” OK Excellently done that got me I cackled fffffffffffffffff

OH MY GOD KING THAT SICK BURN?!?! I dont remember that I guess they’re really making it a point to be like ‘HEY LOOK THIS IS GONNA BE USED!!! IT EXISTS!!!’ but like I dont care cause it was worth it for the joke hhhhhhhhhhhJUST

Yanno, I just realised I think I know where every sing scene in the whole opening comes from down to the omake. Also just realised we are definitely getting Genos/Bang/Bomb vs Centipede cause that joint attack Bang and Bomb use is in the opening. Huh why did that only just now click anD OH MY GOD BB GENOS IM DYING NO

Ok now we’re where we left off and oh dear god I HATE that squish noise please stop no OK Gyoro’s weird Eye twitch was a cool touch. Oh wait Narinki is the highest ranking executive now? I thought he was just the top donor of funds or something? eh anyway- lol wow Gyoro puts on a convincing sob story voice this is so funny?? Cause its Complete BS and I wonder what my reaction would be if I didn’t already know that AHH OK BUT THAT ‘HEHIHIHIHIHI’ LAUGH THO OMG SO GOOD

WHEW ok but seriously just the MENTION of assembling all the heroes is raising my blood pressure asdfghjkl if I may have one thing in life PLEASE LET IT BE A THIRD SEASON PLEASE IM BE G G IN G

AHH YESSS!!!! YYYEEESSSS!!!!! DARKSHINE MY DUDE MAN BRO GUY YESSSS!!!!!!! I LOVE!!!!!!! I JUST!!!!!! HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR THE OTHERWISE NORMAL GUYS WITH OBSCENE MUSCLES LIKE DARKSHINE AND TTM!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!

ASDFGHHJKL Did Destrochloridium just shout Itadakimasu?? HULU y u no translate that??? DOI as he gets smooshed pfffffftttttttttttt omg the sound pls ohmigod everyone knows steel is no match for a hardened body i just fukken HEKK I love this show so much pls he sounds so concerned that destro DIDNT know that

“Better step up” OH MY GOD YES DO THE THING

OK WAIT This is actually badass and not just a joke?? Darkshine, er, Blackluster(??) stop u r 2 good I cant handle it rn

oooohhhhHH OH OH OH OH PLS SHOW EVERYONE I WANT PLS THE MONSTER ASSOCIATION!!! PLS!! SHOW ME WIFE?? CADRES?? PLZ?? yo total side note but I LOVE Murata’s monster designs?? Every time I reread opm I just oogle at a new one I never noticed before they’re all so unique and good. Also At least 3 of them in this sequence look like pokemon i swear- lol the silence no applause, if that was a joke in the manga i totally missed it uuuuwaAAAAAAAAAAA SCREAMING SCREAMING I AM SCREAM CADRE YES YES ASDFGHJKL ARE YALL READY TO SEE T H  A T FACE FOR THE REST OF THE SERIES THUS FAR???? HUH????

ew oh wait I actually feel bad for Awakened Cockroach, and he twitches after getting eaten oh noooooonono ew oh no dude im sorry no AAAAAAAAA WIFE HELLO oh their voices are so sad when they’re terrified for their lives I dont like it :[ ITS OK UR SAFE 4 NOW ILY PLZ BE CAREFUL AND STAY AWAY FROM PRETTY MEN 

YES THIS EPISODE IS GIVING ME EVERYTHING IVE  WANTED SO FAR THANK YOU SO MUCH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LOOOOOOOK AAT THEMMMMMM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMY TRASH SON I HAVE MISSED YOU OH NO MY EYES THERES WATER IN MY EYES HELP ILY

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMYCYBORG SON MY HEART I WEAK GENOS BB PLS BE CAREFUL ILY TOO hey heres a WACKY  and TOTALLY LoOnEy IdEa, what if,,,,,,,,,,,,,,WHAT-IFF,,,,,,,,,,, everyone was HAPPY???? Crazy I knowww I just want the best for my sons and babies and children boys wives daughters loves and husband, is it so much to ask???

Oh my god he looks so Sad here please no Genos everything will be ok please don’t be reckless do not be reckless listen to Dr. Kuseno you fool 

[SCREAMING] ASDFGGHJKL LOOKIT HIM EATING OH MY GOD MY BOY MY DELINQUENT SON GET BETTER SOON oh my god i started out fine this episode but its KILLING ME there are TOO MANY PEOPLE AT ONCE i CANNOT BREATH

CHILD EMPEROR MY SON I LOVE YOU TOO BOFOI UR AN ASS oh my god please can you even TRY to be a good mentor for the kid???? Thats it Zombieman adopt him pls remove shitty Bofoi influence replace with Best dad man influence. ANYWAY ok that was a tangent huh oops sorry. Ok but look at him. Child Emperor is genuinely adorable and a sweetheart poor kid don’t lose your faith in adults.

Uh, the episode is running late still not to Garou yet either?? hmmmmmmmmm again I’m getting nervous are they gonna rush it?? lol the saitama throwaway OH OH FINALLY OMG MY HEART ISNT READY MY FAVORITE GAROU IN THE WHOLE SERIES OH MY GOD

im… im screaming… i love these two so much it hurts it does really. I was not prepared for how adorable it was possible to make Tareo either can I hug?? I must hugg?? And Garou’s voice is so calming and he’s being so sweet? I was really expecting to sound more… i dont know, whiney? Every time he shows up on the screen I love him more and more ffs

This is such a good shot. Desktop wallpaper material right here.

Oh my god, this moment. And the music is just yanking my heart strings stop.

Oh yeah, they interrupt right. I like these heroes and all, but none of them are particular faves the fact that I think SO MANY OTHER FAVES were are RIGHT before them this ep just kinda overshadows their existence for me. I think this is the ONLY time in the series where Garou goes up against heroes and i cheer for him 110%, don’t even feel a little bad about who he’s beating the shit out of, and that’s kinda messed up of me but thats how impartial I am towards all these guys?

Back to Garou and I love him. hhhhh.

He smak the table

He laughs. Oh no his laugh. OPM forcefully dislocated me from the underworld to watch this episode and has thusly YEETED ME TO HEAVEN THAT LAUGH. I really need Garou to be happy.

Do you see this man? Do you see him? I do and I’m crying thank you

Omg I got really caught up it watching them talk but the sparkles around death gatling whe Tareo was looking at them snapped me out of it. oi I cant handle this. Garou I want you to know that you have successfully turned the bad guy into the one everyone wants to win. You did it boy you did

WOAHMYGOD THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

OH MY GOD AND THE MUSIC IM SCREAMING

GAROU

YOU

ARE  

AMAZING SON

like I know how this goes but I’m so anxious anyway the hhhhhhhhhhhhh the fight choreography is a little clunky but I don’t care OH ok cool Glasses actually kept his little spotlight nice but Garou GAROU PLS B CAREFUL OK except WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS MOUTH DOING THAT LOOKS SO STUPID WHAT THE HELL?? HOLY SHIT IM GETTING DIZZY STOP wh- wh- wait no. NO IM NOT DONE WITH YOU YET COME BACK PLEASE I NEED MORE WAIT NO UHG this is my reaction at the end of every episode when will I learn?????????????? never. The answer is never.

NO POST CREDITS STINGER and AS MUCH AS I LOVE GENOS’S FACE I already knew he would be in the episode next week. Yall I am so lost as to where the final episode will land. WTF.

This ep was a roller coaster oh my god. Non stop plot not that the tournament is done, and we saw like EVERY CHARACTER my feeble heart could not keep up. The ONLY thing that bothered me was part of the fight sequence at the end, like it was half drawn beautifully half animated so stiff and blocky ??? Threw me for a loop. But next week is only gonna get more intense??? I’m gonna guess we’ll get through the Elder Centipede fight??? But then what does that mean for the last episode??? I am full of SO MANY QUESTIONS??? I really don’t want the season to end yet, 12 eps is not enough. There’s only 2 more. Just. I’m not ready to let go of my bbs it feels like I only JUST got them… Well! Before I devolve into more of a blubbering mess, thanks yall so much for reading!!! As always, see yall next week!

[your-iron-lung]

Survivor Blues

also available to read on AO3 HERE

You call that a scar? A bruise? A tear? Pillow-marks. Souvenirs. 

Story Synopsis: 'What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger' is a philosophy Billy's father has been beating into him for as long as he can remember. If you get hurt, suck it up and walk it off. Take the pain and live with it. Grow with it; let it make you a better person.

Surviving the Mindflayer hurt. He should've been able to adapt to the pain; should've been able to let it shape him and make him stronger, but he can't. It's too much. The pain is too great and all consuming, and Billy has far too many things that need to be healed at once. 

In the end, what didn't kill him only makes him wish he'd died.

Word Count: 3416

Pairings: Light Harringrove

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, light angst (but with a happy ending- SOMETHING I DONT USUALLY DO)

Notes: this was just supposed to be a small thing, like, 4 paragraphs max, but it blew up and welp here it is. title comes from the song ‘Survivor Blues (the after hours)’. UHHH ENJOY **************

Surviving hurts.

Laying down, standing up; simply existing hurts him immeasurably. It’s like he can’t get comfortable anymore. Walking, talking, resting, sleeping, eating (especially eating) - anything and everything he does causes him more pain than he knows what to do with. But what else can he do? He’s alive, after all. He survived.

He tries to carry on like nothing’s wrong to prove a point, like, by pretending he’s not in constant pain it’ll somehow prove that he’s still as strong as he used to be, but it makes it all worse. Despair creeps in with the hurt, but before it overwhelms him he adopts it; uses his pain as penance, abuses this new sick form of self-flagellation to try and convince himself that he’s only getting what he deserves for all the hurt he’s caused countless others.

The doctors that saved his life had told him that recovery wouldn’t be easy, but still, Billy thinks, maybe he’d have been better off dying. Some days it hurts even to breathe, and if this is the way he’s going to be for the rest of his life, then he hopes he lives a short one, absolution be damned.

His dad still hits him. It hurts.

For a while after he’d been released from the hospital, things had been fine at home. Tense, but no voices raised. No hands raised. Some semblance of peace descending upon father and son until the bills from the hospital come in and Neil just loses it. Rages for hours. Just yelling, at first, but eventually his hands come flying and Billy is too hurt to escape them.

It becomes routine after that, although Billy notices that his father’s fist is a little bit gentler as it collides into him. Almost like he’s mindful of the places he’s already been hurt, as though by striking him in the places he still feels solid he’s showing his son some kind of mercy. It could be worse. Maybe Billy should be grateful. He isn’t.

Redemption is a far off dream that grows dimmer by the day whenever his father finds cause to blacken his eye.

 ***

He hears about Harrington through Max occasionally. Sees him around town sometimes when his dad drags him out. It hurts.

Part of that hurt stems from the unresolved things he did to Steve that night at the Byers’ place, but most of it actually stems from the night he almost died- should’ve died. It comes from where he’d been lying prone on the floor of the Starcourt Mall, bleeding out corrupted, blackened blood with Max crying over him. He couldn’t move his head after being impaled by so many cruel appendages, but even as his gaze had been fixed firmly upwards, he’d seen that pretty, pretty face of Steve’s looking down at him from over the railing of one of the upper floors. If Billy remembers right (and he does), Steve had appeared stricken. Horror-struck and dumbfounded. Billy pictures that look of terror on his face and feels his chest constrict painfully, because whenever he sees Harrington around town these days, he looks happy. Content. Like nothing ever happened. It pains him to see that he’s somehow made his life livable despite the things he’s seen, but it hurts more when he realizes Steve doesn’t ever look his way, even though he knows, he must know that Billy is near.

They hadn’t been friends before any of this, but rather, they’d been close to being something more.

 ***

It feels like he has nothing left to live for. It hurts.

He makes a list one day and runs down all the things he used to take stock in before his flaying and can’t find one single thing that stands up. His looks? Ruined; his body riddled with deep, ugly scars and a stomach devastated by irreversible chemical damage that leaves him barely able to eat anything. His car? Totaled beyond repair when Harrington had to T-bone into it to save those kids’ lives (and even the memory of that hurts). His friends? Tommy H. had gotten out of Hawkins while the getting was good and took Carol with him; probably the only smart thing he’d ever done in his life. High school was over, the crown he’d usurped passed on to the next sniveling bastard in line who wanted to be king.

He’s bitter when he comes to terms with the fact that he has nothing. Has no one. Can’t even tolerate looking himself in the mirror to see what being flayed has done to him. He’s too thin. Torn. Unrecognizable and dead around the eyes, haunted by the things his handler made him do.

His gaze is drawn to the necklace that keeps his Saint medal close to his heart and hates the way that it hangs heavily around his neck. It gets heavier every time he remembers it’s there until finally it feels like the chain it’s looped on is digging into his skin. He takes it off when he can’t stand it any longer; doesn’t think ol’ Saint Christopher can do anything to help him anymore. Hasn’t helped him in a long time, actually, when he thinks about it.

 ***

He almost kills himself one night. Accidentally, but still as an indirect result of all the accumulated traumas and hurts he’s still struggling to contend with months later. It feels good for once.

Max finds him, of all people. Walks right into his room without knocking to ask if he’s seen something of hers she just can’t seem to find but knows is in the house somewhere. She stops talking as soon as she sees him splayed out on his bed, foamy vomit trickling out of his mouth, empty bottles of beer littering the floor and a stomach full of prescribed pain medications that don’t fucking work.

“It wasn’t on purpose, it just never stops hurting. They don’t help,” he tells her later, after his ruined stomach gets pumped and his dad wails on him for that added cost to his already large hospital tab. “Nothing works. I thought maybe more would.”

She looks at him differently after that. No longer cold. No longer calculated; just thoughtful. Contemplative, but not in the same way where, in the past, she’d had to tread on eggshells around him or he’d hurt her in much the same way Neil hurts him. She becomes surprisingly loyal after that, even after all he’s done to her- done to her friends- and that hurts.

She becomes the support he hadn’t realized he needs. Convinces him to try the recommended physical therapy to hopefully get to a place where it doesn’t hurt for him to simply exist anymore.

“I’ll get a job,” she promises him, knowing full well that whatever place willing to hire a 15 year old won’t pay nearly enough to cover the cost of continual therapy sessions. “We all can; we didn’t know how to help you before, so we didn’t, and I’m sorry, Billy, we were so scared- but we know what we can do for you now. We can help you.”

Her words hurt. At first because she’s confirmed for him what he’s suspected all along: that they hadn’t even tried to help him, but before that old semblance of anger he used to rely on can surface, she’s hugging him, and he realizes that the hurt this time comes from a place of emotional vulnerability too deep within him to pinpoint exactly.

It hurts, is the bottom line- but this time it’s a good kind of hurt. The kind that has him hugging her back.

 ***

Slowly, he begins to heal. The pain doesn’t lessen, but other things he hadn’t realized were hurt begin to mend.

He gets to know her friends; manages to apologize to Lucas for all the shitty things he’s said and done specifically to him. In turn, they begin to help him, but all the paper routes, lawn mowing gigs, and occasional pet sitting opportunities they take up don’t really amount to much in the long run.

But he still continues healing.

They try to recruit the teens. Nancy gives what she can, but most of the money she makes goes towards traveling costs so she can continue to see Jonathan without having to rely on her parents. Billy refuses to take her money anyway; he’s not a goddamned charity case, but unbeknownst to him she puts what she can afford to spare in Mike’s hand for him anyway. Not that she’d had anything to do with what happened to him, but some people are just good at heart- something Billy hasn’t had a whole lot of experience with.

They don’t hear back from Harrington.

It helps. He heals. It’s close, but it’s not enough.

He still hurts.

They all struggle to get him through the initial assessment appointment with a therapist, and it doesn’t go well. Billy hates it; hates the fact that he has to rely on other people for the betterment of himself, but he doesn’t want to squander all the hard work those damnable kids are doing for him. It drains him. It drains their funds. He doesn’t know what to say when the secretary asks what day she can schedule his next appointment for. He almost tells her ‘never’, but settles for ‘same time next week’ when Max takes his hand in hers and looks up at him with that determined, patented Mad Max gleam in her eye.

She knows as well as he does that they won’t be able to raise enough money in time for it, but he goes anyway when ‘same time next week’ inevitably rolls around. Somehow, miraculously, he’s able to afford it. When he asks Max how that’s possible, she stays suspiciously quiet. A mysterious benefactor has started funding his therapy visits, he realizes.

He hates it. The knowledge that he can’t know who he’s become indebted to hurts what’s left of his pride.

 ***

Weeks pass and the results of his therapy visits manifest in little ways. He can take deep breaths without his chest and lungs constricting too sharply. It doesn’t hurt as much to walk. On good days he can even laugh without that deep pain blowing up inside him. Not that he laughs all that much anymore.

Max remains quiet whenever he asks her who’s doing this for him.

“A friend,” is all she says whenever he tries to corner her about it.

“I don’t have any friends,” he informs her, to which she shrugs and replies, “You have one.”

He heals. Day by day as he learns the exercises, he heals. But still he wonders who.

Who the hell cares about him that much to help him? Not Neil. Not Susan. Max was already doing her best for him, but her best wasn’t enough. To think that someone out there could care so much about his recovery leaves him feeling oddly funny. He both likes and dislikes it.

The mystery doesn’t stay unsolved for long.

When school starts again, Max can’t go with him to his appointments anymore. She becomes afraid that he won’t go if someone doesn’t go with him to make sure he does (and she might be right about that), and arranges for someone else to take him but declines to say who.

He waits outside on the porch for them, smoking lazily now that it doesn’t hurt him to breathe in deeply anymore. Sunglasses on even though it’s overcast because that fucking thing left its aversion of sunlight in him when it died. Coat on, collar up. Trying to reclaim the air of confidence he used to live by even if he doesn’t quite fill out his clothes like he used to anymore.

He waits until he sees his ride pull up to the curb in front of his house. He lets his cigarette smolder on his lips, lets it burn right down to the filter before he flicks it away as he belatedly comes to understand just who has been helping him.

Harrington honks at him, pokes his head out the window and says, “Shake a leg, Hargrove, let’s get a move on.”

Billy wants to be angry. Wants to be obstinate just because he can, but he’s tired and only has so many spoons left to get through the day with. He goes with him without much of a fuss, but has about a hundred things he wants to say to him as they ride.

It hurts that he can’t get any of them out.

 ***

Recovery is a slow process.

The drives to his therapist aren’t long, but there’s still room enough to hold a conversation if they ever chose to do so. They don’t.

Neither one of them is able to say anything to the other for days until Steve finally takes the initiative to breach that wide, wide gap that didn’t used to be between them.

“So… I’ve been seeing a guy,” he starts, side-eyeing Billy as he speaks to take stock in his expression.

They’re stuck at a red light that hasn’t turned green for two minutes. It’s divine. It’s torture.

It hurts.

“That’s… nice,” Billy says slowly, unsure of what Steve’s getting at. If it’s relationship advice, he has nothing to give.

“No! No, not like, uh, not like that,” Steve stutters. Drums his fingers against the steering wheel. Nervous. “Not that there’s anything… wrong with that, but, no. Not like that.”

“Okay.”

“More like, your kinda guy.”

“’My kinda guy,” Billy repeats dully.

The light remains red.

“Yeah, like, y’know,” Steve continues, still nervous, face colouring with embarrassment. Still waiting for that light to change. “A therapist, but, like, for my brain, or whatever.”

“A psychiatrist?”

Steve winces at the word, looks away, and rubs the back of his neck.

“Yeah. A psych.”

“Okay,” Billy says again. He doesn’t know where Steve’s trying to take this. A show of solidarity? Some sort of admission?

Steve’s quiet for a moment up until the light finally, blessedly, turns green. The car lurches awkwardly forward in Steve’s enthusiasm to get going.

“Yeah, so, I’ve been seeing a guy.” His fingers never stop tapping, playing out the rhythm of his anxieties. “And we’ve been talking uh, a lot about you.”

“Me?” He’s surprised, then, suspicious. “Why?”

“You keep me up at night.”

But before Billy can ask what the hell that means, they’re there, and Steve’s already wishing him good luck.

*** 

He’s lying in bed later that night, reveling in the fact that it no longer hurts to do so when Max knocks and enters. She’s holding something big and boxy in her hand and looks kind of confused about it. A little awkward.

“It’s for you,” she says and waits for him to sit up and take the bulky two-way radio from her.

“What?” he asks stupidly, turning it over in his hands.

Max shrugs. “He said he wanted to talk to you.”

“Who?”

“See for yourself. Give it back when you’re done,” she says, and then leaves.

He waits to hear her footsteps pattering down the hall, back to her room, before he presses down on the communication button uncertainly.

“That you, Harrington?”

“Don’t cream yourself. Yeah, it’s me.”

A ghost of a smile works its way across Billy’s face at the familiar words. He takes a seat on the side of his bed, holds the radio close to where his medallion used to hang.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t do this in person,” Steve says, his voice coming through in crackles and static. Still legible. Still determined. Billy ignores the pounding of his heart. “When I said that you keep me up at night, what I meant was…”

Billy hears him sigh before trying to finish his thought.

“What I meant was that I kept seeing your body on the floor at the mall whenever I closed my eyes, and not being able to do anything about it. I started having dreams where you actually fucking died or some shit and I got all fucked up about it when I remembered how close we were to being- well, you know. But I couldn’t figure out why that kept happening; it’s not like any of that shit was my fault, right?”

“No,” Billy agrees, swallowing hard. “Wasn’t your fault.”

He thinks he can hear Steve exhale a sigh of relief.

“Yeah, so, I don’t know why but it just kept sticking with me. I started losing sleep because you were always there. I didn’t even know you were involved at all until-”

“Until I tried to kill those kids.” Billy finishes his sentence for him, trying his best to ignore the lump forming in his throat as he says it.

“That wasn’t you,” Steve says quickly, and gives Billy a moment to collect himself. “It wasn’t. But, I thought maybe if I just, I don’t know, avoided you, then maybe the nightmares would stop.”

A slight blossom of anger. He quickly discards it; that’s not what they need right now. “Did they?”

“No.”

The lump in his throat doesn’t go away. He swallows it down, but then it grows and starts to take up space in his chest. It pushes down the anger, and pushes the hurt he’s been internalizing up and out. His eyes grow wet. He blinks the tears back.

“I ignored you for so long,” Steve says in a hushed whisper.

“I know,” Billy replies and tries to keep the hurt that’s threatening to bubble out of his throat down.

“And then Max told me you tried to kill yourself-”

Steve’s voice catches, and Billy can hear the hurt that starts spilling out of him. He’s crying. Billy sniffs and stops blinking his own tears back.

“It was an accident,” he tries to tell him, but his voice gives out part-way through. “It was an accident,” he repeats as he clears his throat. Hot tears begin to streak down the sides of his face. “I didn’t mean to.”

“I didn’t know what to do. I tried to talk to Robin but she said she couldn’t do for me what a therapist could, but I’ve always heard that that shits for crazy people, and I’m not crazy, just miserable and then Max came to talk to me about you again and I just. Saw my chance, I guess.”

Billy holds the radio in one hand and his head in the other. He can feel a headache coming on. Steve rambles on, about how the guilt he feels manifests the horrific visions of Billy lying dead on the ground in that shitty mall and how his shrink suggested that maybe just talking to Billy about it might help.

“I could’ve killed you that night,” Steve says at the end of his rant, sniffling uncontrollably. His voice sounds hoarse, but at least they’ve both stopped crying. “I almost drove right into you.”

“You kinda did. Eye for an eye, though. Guess that makes us equal,” Billy replies, and Steve laughs.

His laugh is cheery despite the dark tones of their conversation. Light. It lifts Billy up.

“It could’ve been way worse, though.”

“Yeah,” Billy agrees, breathing deeply. His eyes feel crusty with dried tears. He wipes at them and feels how sore they are. “Yeah, you could’ve missed. You wouldn’t be so sorry if you had.”

Steve gets really quiet at that. Billy knows that Steve knows he’s right. He would’ve killed them if Steve hadn’t done what he did, but it doesn’t change the fact that it hurt the both of them when he’d had to resort to such drastic measures.

“But I didn’t.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“You survived.”

“So did you.”

“Fuck it. I miss you, Billy. I wasted so much time trying to get over the part of you I thought had died.”

They stay up all night after that. Just talking. Catching up, making amends. Healing.

The conversation only ends when Billy realizes Steve’s fallen asleep on his end. He’d been slowing down gradually as the hours passed, so it doesn’t come as a surprise, but still Billy wishes they could’ve talked more.

And they can, he understands. They can talk the whole rest of their lives away if they wanted to, because they survived. He sets the radio down on the floor beside his bed and slips in between the sheets. He closes his eyes and smiles. They survived.

When he wakes up, he realizes he no longer hurts.

[hitchell-mope]

(After “wicked always wins)

Uma: so how do we do it?

Ursula: do what?

Uma: beat Mal. Like you said. We give her a gift. Put the bitch on ice. The whole shebang.

Ursula: oh. No. No no no. You misunderstood me my child. We won’t do anything.

Uma: what? Why not?

Ursula: because you’re never leaving this sanctuary. Do you really think I’d let my only daughter go back up top when she’s been humiliated and trodden on by those humans.

Uma (stone faced): do not pretend you care

Ursula: oh my poor sweet child. I do care. And staying here would make me oh so happy. Leaving would make me mad. You remember what happens when I get mad don’t you?

(As she’s speaking her tentacles loop around Uma’s throat and gradually tighten up. Uma’s eyes flash turquoise)

Uma: ENOUGH! I am not a child. I’ll leave when I damn well like

(She swims away)

Ursula: do well to remember that once you leave he is not long for this world. You don’t know the spell. I do. Never mind removing it safely. Nah. You’re much better off here. And deep down inside you know that

Uma: a year. I’ve been here with Harry a YEAR. In all that time you could’ve told me. Why haven’t you

Ursula: and lose my precious little mollusk to self sufficiency? Perish the thought

(Uma swims into the next room and bolts and soundproofs the door)

Uma: ARGH! Why is she like this

Vision!Harry: she just can’t stand how fabulous you are

Uma: I know you’re only saying what I need to hear

Harry: so then it must be true

Uma: you’re cloying.

Harry: better me than the traitor right?

Uma: yeah. Yeah you’re probably right

(On the island. Hades has teleported back to his lair. He’s close to tears and can’t settle on a form. Eventually with much concentration he settles on Sebastian Stan. Then he drops to the floor and dry heaves in anguish)

Hadie: here. Drink.

Hades: do not say “I told you so”

Hadie: I was. But now I don’t have to. And we have a visitor

Hades: Antoine I was wrong you were right. If you want to do the dance then I suggest we head to the bed- (his faces darkens)- Hadie, sweetheart, get dressed and go to the arcade. Please

Hadie: fine. But I’m not getting dressed. I’m 23 after all. (On his way out). You realise he was never the same after you left him. You are entirely to blame

Hades: yes. Thank you Hadie. I think we all know the history.

(Hadie leaves. Hades dives into a low majestic bow that drips of sarcasm)

Hades: to what do I owe the displeasure oh mistress of all evil

(Maleficent is sitting rod straight on a stool. Her hair’s loose and she’s wearing a black and midnight purple version of Mal’s vk outfit)

Maleficent: hello my dear

Hades: don’t call me that. You lost that right when you left.

Maleficent: water under the bridge.

Hades: FIRST MORNING OF OUR HONEYMOON

(His hair’s burst into flames)

Hades: I woke up and you were gone

Maleficent: yes yes. If memory serves correctly though. You found your ahem much needed comfort with another

Hades: then you raised the girls in a commune

Maleficent: ahahaha oh that is rich coming from you. You used to be a god. And now? Now you’re just a sad old man with multiple personality disorder. How the mighty have fallen.

Hades: what happened to you?

Maleficent: I got better.

Hades: how?

Maleficent: oh I think you know

Hadeficent: Yzma

Maleficent: yes. The uh disgraced advisor to the hedonistic emperor found me after the ungrateful child abandoned me in a bag. Took to to her house. Gave me a potion. I reassumed my natural form, light magic is a bitch to figure out, broke the phial slit her throat with the shards and robbed the corpse

Hades: you’re wearing...?

Maleficent: her clothes? Yes. What of it?

Hades: you fill them better.

Maleficent: why thank you

Hades: why are you back here

Maleficent: you have the ember. I need the ember. Together we can use our combined power to get her back and overthrow the mainland

Hades: no

Maleficent: no? What do you mean no?

Hades: exactly that. You see

(This is when “since u been gone” happens)

Hades: so you see. Don’t need you. And I certainly don’t need anything you have on offer

Maleficent: really? Because last time I checked. You lived alone. You’re son is an alcoholic hedonist who gives it all to whoever strikes his passing fancy. And to top it all off. You are a failure as a father

Hades: that last point is all your fault. Not mine

Maleficent: water under the bridge sweetheart. Speaking of bridges

Hades: no. I will not allow you to further ruin her life more than you already have.

Maleficent: well you did almost kill them both.

Hades: that was an accident

Maleficent: yes your tears were quite convincing

Hades: they were real. I’m distraught.

Maleficent: you’re rather constrained now

Hades: I’m weighing the pros and cons of feeding you you’re own jugular

Maleficent: oh I knew it. You are still not over me or what we had.

Hades: let me tell you something

(This is when “over you” happens. After the song)

Hades: so as you can see I am over you.

(Maleficent starts chuckling with gradually turns into deranged cackling. She uses telekinesis to throw hades against the nearest wall above her. She climbs up to him and pinches his chin in her hand so he’s looking directly into her eyes)

Maleficent: I am going to say this slowly so your alcohol addled mind can process. Give. Me. The. Ember. Now

Hades: fuck you.

Maleficent: now don’t be that way. You may be more powerful but I have the brains.

Hades: Aurora

Maleficent: what does this have to do with the northern lights?

Hades: the princess. The one you cursed.

Maleficent: what about her

Hades: it took you sixteen years to find her. And you only succeeded through sheer dumb luck

Maleficent: that was their fault

Hades: you hired them

Maleficent: I created them.

Hades: then it’s even more you’re fault.

Maleficent: ENOUGH. (She drops down and lets him go). So it is a hard no?

Hades: exuberantly so

Maleficent: well. I know even I’m beaten. So I will take my leave.

Hades: you do that. PAIN. PANIC. Show her ladyship out

(The teal and fuchsia demons lead the fairy away)

Hades: stupidly alluring gnat. Thinking she could fool me. Literal and actual Satan. I AM A GOD

Vision!Persephone: well. You used to be. Remind yourself of what you’ve become

Hades: better looking.

Persephone: and taken for a fool. Look in your pocket

(Hades half heartedly rifles through his pockets. Then gets desperate)

Hades: that castrating BITCH! No. I’m cool I’m good I’m fine. AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!! PAIN. PANIC. GEDDERENAH.

(The two demons come lolloping back. He picks them up by the throats)

Hades (venomously): boys. Did she have anything on her person?

Pain: uhhhh

Hades: OUT WITH IT

Panic: summat...GLOWING

(Hades drops them and starts pacing back and forth)

Hades: I don’t need this today. I. Do. Not. Need. This. To. Day.

Persephone: what are you gonna do?

Hades: absolutely nothing. She can’t get it to work. No need to worry.

Persephone: yes but you are rather retentive about your property

Hades: well I’m trying to change my habits. Boys. Stereo please

(He runs his face wearily changing into the Eva Green form as he does so. This is when “so what” starts)

Hades: ta ta bitch

(Hadie slow claps behind her)

Hades: ohohoho. I thought I asked you to go to the arcade.

Hadie: what and miss the fight. Real impressive by the way.

Hades: oh ha ha. C’mere

(She puts her arm around her son and they walk back home)

Hadie: we got work to do dont we?

Hades: ah yup

Hadie: does this mean I have to get dressed properly?

Hades: ah yup

(Hours later in Auradon. Chad and Audrey have just entered his bedroom. Both are in a mood)

Audrey: that was embarrassing!

Chad: oh you’re telling me. Stupid bitch can’t even

Audrey: I was talking about you Chad. You gotta accept that Mal and her friends are not leaving anytime soon

Chad: they’re vile. Their whole existence is wrong. And don’t even get me started on the magic

Audrey: magic is the reason we exist in the first place. Magic enabled your parents to meet. It saved my mother’s life

Chad: after endangering it in the first place

Audrey: well. Yes. But good cannot exist without bad you know this. Hell. Fairy godmother IS your fairy godmother.

Chad: I don’t care. Their despicable freaks and I don’t want you hanging around them anymore

(Audrey calms down. She smiles. Turns on her heel. And walks towards the open door)

Chad: whoa whoa wait. Where you going

Audrey: goodbye Chad

(Neither of them notice a raven on the windowsill)

Chad: but why

Audrey: because I know my own self worth. And you demanding that I can’t hang out with MY friends anymore just because it makes YOU feel uncomfortable. So goodbye.

Chad: I. I won’t let you go. I’ll keep you here

Audrey: Elsa knows I’m here. She will come looking for me. So either let me go. Or have your ass iced to kingdom come

(Chad lets her go. She leaves. The raven flies into the room and starts pecking at his hair)

Chad: what are you doing what gerroff get get GET OFF ME!

(He manages to shake it out of his hair. It hits the bookshelf which topples over and falls on it. Then it’s destroyed by a flash of green light out from which appears Maleficent)

Chad: ma ma ma AAAAH

(He jumps a foot in the air and hangs from the miniature chandelier)

Maleficent: are you to stay up there or shall we have a talk?

Chad: ummmm I think I’ll stay up here (the ceiling gives way) oh fuck AH

(He falls to the floor)

Chad (weakly): owwww

Maleficent: now that that is all over. Answer the door

Chad (still is pain): what?

Maleficent: there is a child that is about to knock on the door. I shall hide behind it and you shall answer. Then we shall talk.

Chad: urgh fine

(He goes to the door, opens it and sees some kid there)

Chad: whazit you want

Matty: you’re in my room

Chad: who are argh (he gets a flash of the boy screaming in pain as he’s burned up in green fire) well that’s new

Matty: you could sell it you know. What’s up. Too chicken

Chad: fuck off

(He slams the door in the boys face)

Matty: well that’s a fine how d’you do. I have access to the kings treasury you know!

Chad: 🎶I said fuck off!🎶

Matty: fine

(The boy walks away grumbling. Chad leans against the door and slides down to the ground)

Chad: what did you do?

Maleficent: I simply imparted a vision unto you. What you can be capable of if we join forces

Chad: I don’t like green.

Maleficent: fine. What colour would you prefer.

Chad: black. I’m in mourning.

Maleficent: why whatever for?

Chad (voice full of self pity): destruction of property values, loss of status, dead relationship.

Maleficent: oh yes. Traditional adolescent melancholies. But with my help you could fix that.

Chad (huffily): how

Maleficent: as you may well know I am a dark fairy. The queen of you might say.

Chad: and why would you want to help me

Maleficent: I’ve seen into your heart. Your mind. And your very soul. It was....harrowing. A real eye opener.

Chad: yeah?

Maleficent: and I’ve decided to be one your fair ahem your (choking on her words) faaii. (Growls). Yourfairygodmother

Chad: eh no thanks I got one.

Maleficent: ah yes the horticulturist. But she is more of a fairy god grandmother to you. I could be fully yours. Wouldn’t that be nice?

Chad (mulling it over): I suppose. What’s in it for me?

Maleficent: wealth power prestige status. And trinkets

(She hands him a chocolate bar that she just conjured up)

Chad (mouth full): noce trinket

Maleficent: actually it’s a butterfinger

Chad: really. How’d you know

Maleficent: we acquire your used materials with the arrival of the barges

Chad: huh?

Maleficent: noting. Now wouldn’t you like to come out on top for once. To see my daughter break under your might. To send them all back from whence they came?

Chad: wait. You don’t like Mal either

Maleficent: she is but a means to an end and she failed. I now consider you the wave of the future

Chad (becoming ever more easily pliable): really

Maleficent: yes. So tell your godmother my sweet. What is it you desire.

Chad: I want to be king

Maleficent: exquise

Chad: alors c'est possible. vous POUVEZ me faire un roi?

Maleficent: why yes. Expect. I do not have my sceptre you see. I need my sceptre or something like it. To grant you your wish

Chad: OOOH! THE MUSEUM!

Maleficent: yes?

Chad: Verna keeps her wand there. They brought magic back but she keeps her wand in the museum because she’s an idiot.

Maleficent (bending down to stroke his hair lovingly): well then my dear sweet boy. Let us go to it

(This is when “best day of my life” happens)