#actually your existence makes soras soul rip

[misslovasstuff]

kinda heart shattering how when reiju told Sanji that their mother sacrificed herself to protect her children and a kid with the spark of humanity was born, sanji immediately goes: “so it’s my fault?!”

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Lucifer/Satan

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Please allow me to introduce this villain. He’s a man of wealth and taste...

Satan, or Lucifer, or whatever of the hundreds of names across multiple religions, folk tales, urban legends, movies, books, songs, video games, and more that you choose to call him, is without a doubt the biggest bad of them all. He is not just a villain; he is the villain, the bad guy your other bad guys answer to, the lord of Hell. If there’s a bad deed, he’s done it, if there’s a problem, he’s behind it. There’s nothing beneath him, and that’s not just because he’s at the very bottom of Hell. He is the root cause of all the misery in the entire world.

And if we’re talking about Satan, we gotta talk about Lucifer too. They weren’t always supposed to be one and the same, but over centuries of artistic depictions and reimaginings they’ve been conflated into one being, a being that is a lot more layered and interesting than just a simple adversary for the good to overcome when handled properly.

Motivation/Goals: Look, it’s Satan. His main goal is to be as evil as possible, do bad things, cause mischief and mayhem. Rarely does anything good come from Satan being around. If he is one and the same as Lucifer, expect there to be some sort of plot about him rebelling against God, as according to modern interpretations Lucifer fought against God in battle and was then cast out, falling from grace like lightning. When the Lucifer persona is front and center, raging against the heavens tends to be a big part of his schemes, but when the big red devil persona is out and about, expect temptations to sin, birthing the Antichrist, or tempting people to sell their souls.

Performance: Satan has been portrayed by far too many people over the years to even consider keeping count of, though some notable performances of the character or at least characters who are clearly meant to be Satan include the nuanced anti-villain take of the character Viggo Mortensen portrayed in The Prophecy; the sympathetic homosexual man portrayed by Trey Parker in South Park and its film; the hard-rocking badass Dave Grohl portrayed in Tencaious D’s movie; Robin Hughes as a sneaky, double-crossing bastard in “The Howling Man” episode of The Twilight Zone; the big red devil from Legend known as Darkness, played by Tim Curry; the shapeshifting angel named Satan from The Adventures of Mark Train who will make you crap your pants; and while not portrayed by anyone due to being entirely voiceless, Chernabog from Disney’s Fantasia is definitely noteworthy in regards to cinematic depictions of the devil.

Final Thoughts & Score: Satan is a villain whose sheer scope dwarfs almost every other villain in history. It’s not even remotely close, either; Satan pops up in stories all around the world, is the greater-scope villain of most varieties of three major religions, and his very name is shorthand for “really, really evil.” Every other villain I have ever discussed and reviewed wishes they could be a byword for being bad to the bone. Even Dracula, one of the single most important villains in fiction, looks puny in comparison to Satans villainous accomplishments.

Satan in old religious texts tended to be an utterly horrifying force of nature, until Medieval times began portray him as a dopey demon trying to tempt the faithful (and failing). Folklore and media have gone back and forth, portraying both in equal measure – you have the desperate, fiddle-playing devil from “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” and the unseen, unfathomable Satan who may or may not exist in the Marvel comics universe who other demons live in fear of the return of. Satan is just a very interesting and malleable antagonist, one who is defined just enough that he can make a massive, formidable force while still being enough of a blank slate that you can project any sort of personality traits onto him to build an intriguing foe.

One of the most famous examples of this in action is the common depiction of Satan as the king of hell. This doesn’t really have much basis in religion; he’s as much a prisoner as anyone else, though considering how impressive a prisoner he is, he’d be like the big guy at the top of the pecking order in any jail for sure. But still, the idea of Satan as the ruler of hell was clearly conceived by someone and proved such an intriguing concept that so many decided to run with it.

I think that’s what truly makes Satan such an interesting villain, in that he’s almost a community-built antagonist. People over the ages have added so much lore, personality, and power to him that is only vaguely alluded to in old religions to the point where they have all become commonplace in depictions of the big guy, and there really isn’t any other villain to have quite this magnitude on culture as a whole. It shouldn’t be any shock that Satan is an 11/10; rating him any lower would be a heinous crime only he is capable of.

But see, the true sign of how amazing he is is the sheer number of ways one can interpret him. You have versions that are just vague embodiments of all that is bad and unholy, such as Chernabog from Fantasia, you have more nuanced portrayals like the one Viggo Mortensen played in The Prophecy, you have outright sympathetic ones like the one from South Park… Satan is just a villain who can be reshaped and reworked as a creator sees fit and molded into something that fits the narrative they want. I guess what I’m trying to say is that not only is Lucifer/Satan one of the greatest villains of all, he’s also one of the single greatest characters of all time.  

Now, there are far too many depictions of Satan for me to have seen them all, but I have seen quite a lot. Here’s how Old Scratch has fared over the millennia in media of various forms, though keep in mind this is by no means a comprehensive or exhaustive lsit:

“The Devil Went Down to Georgia” Devil: 

I think this is one of my favorite devils in any fiction ever, simply because of what a good sport he is. Like, there is really no denying that Johnny’s stupid little fiddle ditty about chickens or whatever sucks major ass, and yet Satan (who had moments before summoned up demonic hordes to rip out some Doom-esque metal for the contest) gave him the win and the golden fiddle. What a gracious guy! He’s a 9/10 for sure, though I still wish we knew how his rematch ended…

Chernabog: 

Chernabog technically doesn’t do anything evil, and he never says a word, and yet everything about him is framed as inherently sinister. It’s really no wonder Chernabog has become one of the most famous and beloved parts of Fantasia alongside Yen Sid and Sorcerer Mickey; he’s infinitely memorable, and really, how can he not be? He’s the devil in a Disney film, not played for laughs and instead made as nightmarishly terrifying as an ancient demon god should be. Everything about him oozes style, and every movement and gesture begets a personality that goes beyond words. Chernabog doesn’t need to speak to tell you that he is evil incarnate; you just know, on sight, that he is up to no good.

Quite frankly, the implications of Chernabog’s existence in the Disney canon are rather terrifying. Is he the one Maleficent called upon for power? Is he the one all the villains answer to? Do you think Frollo saw him after God smote him? And what exactly did he gain by attacking Sora at the end of Kingdom Hearts? All I know for sure is that Chernabog is a 10/10.

Lucifer (The Prophecy): 

Viggo Mortensen has limited screentime, but in that time he manages to be incredibly creepy, misanthropic… and yet, also, on the side of good. Of course, he’s doing it entirely for self-serving reasons (he wants humanity around so he can make them suffer), but credit where credit is due. The man manages to steal a scene from under Christopher Walken, I think that’s worth a 10/10.

Satan (South Park): 

Portraying Satan as a sympathetic gay man was a pretty bold choice, and while he certainly does fall into some stereotypes, he’s not really painted as bad or morally wrong for being gay, and ends up more often than not being a good (if sometimes misguided) guy who just wants to live his life. Plus he gets a pretty sweet villain song, though technically it’s more of an “I want” song than anything. Ah well, a solid 8/10 for him is good.

Satan (Tenacious D):

It’s Dave Grohl as Satan competing in a rock-off against JB and KG. Literally everything about this is perfect, even if he’s only in the one scene. 10/10 for sure.

Robot Devil:

Futurama’s take on the devil is pretty hilarious and hammy, but then Futurama was always pretty on point. He’s a solid 8/10, because much like South Park’s devil he gets a fun little villain song with a guest apearance by the Beastie Boys, not to mention his numerous scams like when he stole Fry’s hands. He’s just a fun, hilarious asshole.

The Howling Man: 

The Twilight Zone has many iconic episodes, and this one is absolutely one of them. While the devil is the big twist, that scene of him transforming as he walks between the pillars is absolutely iconic, and was even used by real-life villain Kevin Spacey in the big reveal of The Usual Suspects. This one is a 9/10 for sure, especially given the ending that implies this will all happen again (as per usual with the show).

The Darkness:

While he’s more devil-adjacent than anything and is more likely to be the son of Satan rather than the actual man himself, it’s hard not to give a shout-out to the big, buff demon played by Tim Curry in some of the most fantastic prosthetics and makeup you will ever see. He gets a 9/10 for the design alone, the facty he’s Tim Curry is icing on the cake.

[nadziejastar]

Thoughts on Soranort?

“Hey, I got an idea. Ask your heart. See if it’s got a clue.”

“Well…my heart was aching. That’s why I kept going.”

It was almost too much to bear. The sorrow—the pain, and so many other feelings. A suffering so much greater than anything he’d ever known. Hatred, sadness, anger, jealousy, fear, resentment, anguish, envy, uncertainty, pain, despair. Who did these feelings come from? Roxas? That woman? Those two people called me Ven—maybe him? Or someone else?

“Oh… Thank you, Sora’s heart, for pushing him right into our clutches. Aren’t hearts great? Steer us wrong every time,” Xigbar remarked, mocking as ever.

Personally, I don’t think he would have made a good Nort. But that’s why he was the hero.

Sora was targeted as a vessel because he had pain inside of him. The pain wasn’t really his, though. It was the memories inside of him, which didn’t even belong to him. That’s why I think he’d make a pretty boring seeker of darkness, from a story standpoint. He’s better suited as the hero. I think almost all the Norts were handled VERY poorly, though. The Dark Seeker Saga just turned out to be a huge flop in the end. It was supposed to be all about healing pain. Not just for the missing guardians of light. But the seekers of darkness, too. There was a reason they all got Norted, which KH3 did a VERY poor job explaining. It was because they all had pain that led them to abandoning their heart.

Ansem’s mouth twisted into a smirk. “If he wavers from the path we lay, we destroy him.”

“But in that case…we’ll have to find ourselves another vessel.”

Xigbar barked a laugh. Another vessel…, he says, as if it’s nothing. Just one piece of their grand, far-reaching plan.

“That is why we never have just one iron in the fire,” Xemnas replied matter-of-factly.

KH3 was supposed to be all about Xehanort’s search for a replacement vessel after Sora failed in KH3D. Vessels are not easy to come by, so “reserve members” shouldn’t even be a thing. I think the person they were supposed to be talking about in this scene was Davy Jones. He was a perfect vessel because he didn’t have a heart, but he didn’t die. He cast away his heart because it caused him pain. He would have been like the Beast in KH2, where they were trying to get him to join he organization. 

This world could have felt like it was relevant to the main story. But Davy Jones’ heart got little focus and all anyone cared about was the stupid black box, which isn’t even relevant in this game. The whole idea of the seekers of darkness becoming vessels because of pain got very little attention. When you defeated them in the Keyblade Graveyard, there should have been a sense of healing for each character’s pain and a sense of resolution to their story. The sad remix of the organization music was SO GOOD. Instead, most of them ended on a cliffhanger, which is absurd.

And then there was the heart that nestled close to mine. There, it continued to quietly encourage me. If he hadn’t been there, I wouldn’t be here now, standing in front of his grave.

Master, did you forgive me? Or maybe I haven’t been forgiven yet and I’m only still here so I can atone? I know there are no answers to my questions and no one has to forgive me for my sins. Even entertaining the thought of being forgiven is so presumptuous of me. A weakness.

The only vessel handled even semi-decently was Terra. His personal pain was given a lot of focus in BBS, so his story didn’t feel particularly incomplete… except when it came to Eraqus. I don’t feel Terra got proper closure with him. Terra didn’t even know if Eraqus forgave him, which is just sad. Terra’s messed up relationship with Eraqus was the whole reason he fell to darkness. It was his doubt that Eraqus truly loved him like a son that made him so susceptible to manipulation. It broke my heart how Terra was reluctant to hug Eraqus at the end.

“Not your concern.” With those parting words, Xehanort strode away. Eraqus slammed a fist into the floor as he watched him go.

Why did I fail to stop him? Is it my fault? Where did I go wrong? Is the darkness itself what beguiled him so? Must this plague steal my dear friend from me?

Then you got Young and Master Xehanort. In BBS, people kinda saw Xehanort as Lord Voldemort. People couldn’t see how Terra could trust him, because he was so obviously evil. But he was human, too. He was Eraqus’s dear friend. I’d be willing to bet it was some personal pain with Eraqus that led to Xehanort falling to darkness completely. Xehanort had no backstory, though, so it was hard to understand why he gave up or why he and Eraqus seemed so happy together in the end.

Ansem talked about some kind of betrayal, but I had no idea what he was even referring to here. 

Xemnas also had pain. He had Terra’s memories, spent years looking for Ventus in the Chamber of Waking. He was lonely, though this is never explored in any way.

I think Luxord probably joined the organization voluntarily. But why? He isn’t loyal to Xemnas. I doubt his original backstory was being some amnesiac Keyblade wielder from the age of fairy tales. He hinted at some personal pain due to “compulsive behavior”. I’m sure he had a sad backstory that caused him to join for his own reasons.

Why am I in the Organization? Well, I mean, there’s lots of reasons, but—oh, right! I wanted friends, right? Oh, no. Wow, actually no, that sounded way uncool but… now I’m thinking back on it and I’m just like, yeah, I guess it kinda was like that, huh.

Aside from the whole old guys’ club going on, it kinda seems like there were a lotta tight-knit groups in the Organization. Y’know, like Axel and Saix, Marluxia and Larxene, Zexion and Vexen, and Xaldin and Lexaeus? And I guess in the end, I hung out with the old guy a lot.

Yeah, so it’s not like it’s a big deal, seriously that’s it. I hate fighting and jamming out is way more fun. Sad stuff, painful stuff, why would I wanna do anything like that?

Let’s assume that Demyx was supposed to be a real member of the true organization instead of Xion (which is what I believe). His Character File story hints that he had pain and also that he became very close to Luxord. Which makes sense because they were some of the only members left after Castle Oblivion. Axel spent all his time with Saix, Roxas, and Xion. So, Demyx and Luxord really had no one else, and probably hung out with each other a lot. So, Demyx might have joined because of Luxord. But this is never explored in any way and Demyx is just a plot device to deliver Replicas.

SYMBOLISM Strelitzia is seen as the flower of freedom, and also represents immortality and paradise.

In early trailers, Marluxia had green eyes in the Rapunzel world, meaning he was not even supposed to be fully Norted before the final battle. So, I think he did join the organization of his own free will. But he had personal pain that led up to it. The loss of his sister. She said she’d carry him on her back, then his final boss form in CoM has him riding atop this strange woman figure. All very interesting. This is something that should have been wrapped up in this saga, though.

Sigh, it was so much better when I had no heart. When I didn’t have to worry about things like liking someone. Becoming fond of something is painful. That’s why those feelings were taken advantage of.

I think Larxene loved Marluxia and wanted to be by his side. She didn’t even want to regain a heart because it caused her pain. There should have been resolution to that at the end of KH3 instead of leaving it dangling.

Xigbar had pain, too. He was constantly haunted by his memory of Ventus glaring at him. You could tell that he was jealous of the bonds the other characters had. He commits suicide at the end due to the guilt he has. I would have said that his story was handled well if it ended with his suicide. It was pretty sad. But they reversed it and made it out to be a ruse. Xigbar was just faking his entire personality the whole time and was really Luxu all along. WTF!? I just can’t…

I wanted to be like you. I was jealous of you. Who was I exactly? Did I even exist? I’m just a puppet with no heart whose fake memories were planted in my head.

I was made, I’m artificial, I’m a fake. What do I need to become a real person? Or rather, was I a real fake? I fell into the dark and wandered the world of darkness.

Riku Replica’s story wasn’t resolved well, either. He spends all of CoM being tormented about not being the real Riku and that no doubt leads him to joining the organization. But then after he’s defeated, he gets no closure to his identity crisis. Instead, another “good” Riku Replica comes and rips the “evil” Replica’s soul out (WTF?) and then that story is over. It becomes all about Namine at that point. He sacrifices his only chance at life for her, which is kinda weird and depressing. I would have preferred if Riku Replica gained some kind of peace with being a part of Riku and then going home into his heart, like Xion did at the end of Days.

Whereas Ven’s worries and suffering were proof of his growth, his proclivity toward the light, Vanitas’s own misery was merely a pitch-black morass that brought with it nothing but pain.

We’re so different, but I could feel you every step of the way. I bet you didn’t notice me at all. What does this battle between us mean to you? You probably don’t have a clue that it means our hearts are intertwining. The fight itself doesn’t matter. What’s important is that our struggle makes us feel the same things. You hate me for trying to hurt your friend now, right? And I hate you right back for having friends at all.

Never once is any attention given to Vanitas’s pain. He despised Ventus and was jealous of the fact that he had friends. All the Unversed came from his negative emotions. Ventus told him they were the same and that he needed to come home inside of his heart, but…he doesn’t? Instead of finding some kind of peace by going back to Ventus, he just… disappears. 

The person who probably suffered the most was Axel. Because he’s the one who forgot the most. Being forgotten and forgetting, they’re both painful.

Saix’s pain turned out to be a joke. He couldn’t find some random girl he spoke to a few times, boo hoo, such a sad tragic backstory. He had to be quickly turned into a good guy before the epilogue, so he only joined to “atone” not because of any pain. His real pain was supposed to be about his relationship with Lea.

Cancer is ruled by the Moon, the planet of receptivity. It’s the zodiac sign related to feeling and emotions in our hearts. Cancer is, in many ways, the most sensitive and vulnerable sign of the zodiac. They feel deeply, but they’re not sure what to do about their feelings.

Emotions tend to play a dominate role in the lives of people born under Cancer. Naturally defensive and sometimes afraid of being hurt, they tend to put their heart and soul into all their relationships, and are very faithful, loyal and loving partners. Cancer people are extremely sensitive to matters of the heart. It is easy to hurt their feelings and they become deeply emotionally wounded when wronged, and can take a long time getting over it.

Also, I just really like the idea of Saix as a Seeker of Darkness. Cancers have very delicate hearts and are very emotional people who are vulnerable to pain. 

[hurricanexfate]

Me: gets a cool idea Also me: immediately shoots down my cool idea using canon evidence

[khstoryanalysis]

Chapter 10: The Keyblade’s True Purpose

In Xehanort’s Report III, Xehanort states that the Keyblade wielders in the Age of Fairy Tales learned of the Keyblade’s true use – to conquer Kingdom Hearts. But is that the “true” use of a Keyblade? In the lore of Kingdom Hearts X [Chi], the Keyblade wielders try to defend the light by collecting Lux, a form of Light, which leads to imbalance, greed and the inevitable Keyblade War.

“May your heart be your guiding key.” This quote may sounds like a rip-off of the famous Star Wars quote, but it is worth analyzing it literally. Since Keyblades are forged from the wielders’ hearts, it makes sense to say that the Keyblades are the physical manifestations of the hearts’ wills. “No one can stop what your heart commands.” This is mainly seen in Kingdom Hearts 2, as you cannot stop a person from doing something out of the desire or will of his heart. The will can be used with the words “soul” and “mind” interchangeably. From the Ansem Reports, the soul is the life force and a person will die if his soul is pushed out of his body. This life force is also important as it allows people to carry out what their hearts desire.

With that, the heart guides the Keyblade to do what it commands. Since the Keyblades are forged in the image of the X-Blade, possibly the Keyblade of Kingdom Hearts, the true nature of the Keyblade can be found there. The X-Blade is made of equal light and darkness. Light has the power to bring life, while the darkness has the power to bring death. Since Kingdom Hearts is like a culmination of all hearts, the X-Blade may have existed to maintain balance between light and darkness, and the flow of hearts between Kingdom Hearts and the world. Hence, the X-Blade is the “guiding key” for Kingdom Hearts.

If the X-Blade is never intended to conquer Kingdom Hearts since Yen Sid says that it is the protector of Kingdom Hearts in Dream Drop Distance, then what is the true purpose of the Keyblades forged in its image? Well, to be the “guiding key” for the wielder who wants to help others, be it a selfless or selfish way.

From the beginning, Kingdom Hearts always says that your friends are your power. We see Sora is able to wield a Keyblade despite no Keyblade Inheritance Ceremony is performed on him. He is able to wield one by strengthening his heart through his ties with people. Through his adventure, he has met many people and kept those memories of their time spent together in his heart. Through interactions, Sora is able to understand them – their desires, fears and pain.

Through Leon, Aerith, Cid and Yuffie, Sora learns that many worlds have fallen into darkness and its inhabitants suffer from such a loss. Sora feels the same as his home Destiny Islands is destroyed and he loses Riku and Kairi. He understands that pain that they share, and he is willing to put an end to it. Hence, he uses the Keyblade to help others and lock Keyholes of the worlds he visits.

When Riku and Sora reunite in Hollow Bastion, Riku takes the Kingdom Key because that key belongs to him originally. He decides to use the Keyblade to save Kairi since he thinks Sora is incapable. Although Sora has lost the Keyblade and his companions, he is not giving up as he sees the Beast still determines to save Belle despite getting injured by Riku. Sora’s desire to save Kairi continues to push him forward.

When Sora confronts Riku, he says that he doesn’t need a Keyblade as his heart is a better weapon. He adds that the connections he has made with many people have made his heart stronger and as long as they remember each other, all of their hearts will become one. On the other hand, Riku sees the heart as weak and loses sight of true strength: friendship. Hence, the Keyblade rejects Riku and makes Sora its official wielder. The heart dictates the Keyblade, so the heart is more important. One who disregards the strength of the heart would not wield a Keyblade, even if he or she has the ability to do so.

The whole thing about friendship being the true strength has been stated since Kingdom Hearts X [Chi]. Keyblades are somewhat sentient beings as they choose their wielders. The Keyblades of Light and Darkness, created under the image of the X-Blade, would share the similar purpose as the X-Blade – to look after one another and help each other out. By doing so, balance can be achieved.

After going through the games and some analysis, I have found a pattern on how and when Keyblades come to their wielders.

Starlight Keyblade – this Keyblade is granted to the children in the Age of Fairy Tales. Its purpose is to help the Foretellers to drive out the darkness. Since the children are in the Unions created by the Foretellers, they use the Starlight Keyblades to help the Foretellers in their plan.

Kingdom Key

-          Sora is the temporary wielder because Riku has been taken over by darkness. Besides, the Keyblade is needed to protect the worlds by destroying Heartless, locking Keyholes of the worlds and sealing the Door to Darkness.

-          Riku is able to bring the Keyblade back to him as he wants to use it to help Kairi.

-          The Keyblade makes Sora its official wielder because Sora is willing to help Kairi even though he does not have a Keyblade. Moreover, Riku rejects the strength of the heart.

-          Roxas, Sora’s Nobody, is granted to wield one. He uses the Keyblade to help Organization XIII even though he does not know of their true motive.

-          Xion, an imperfect replica of Roxas, made from Sora’s memories, is granted to wield one as well. Her power only awakens when Roxas gets defeated by a Heartless and drops his Keyblade.

-          Though, Xion later loses the ability to wield a Keyblade. To cover up the truth, Axel suggests she and Roxas be paired up for missions and even manages to convince Saix to allow it. She later regains the ability when Roxas lends his Keyblade to her while he uses a stick to fight off Heartless. This symbiotic relationship of helping one another for the benefit of all of them helps strengthen Xion’s heart, allowing her to wield the Keyblade again.

Way to the Dawn

-          Riku only gains it after he learns to control the darkness inside him thanks to Namine, who initially uses Kairi as a disguise, and Mickey. Riku keeps them in his heart and strengthens his heart.

-          Riku decides to face his own darkness rather than falling asleep and allowing Namine to seal it because he wants to look after Sora, who has fallen asleep for Namine to rearrange his memories.

-          Riku summons this Keyblade to save Kairi and Namine from Saix.

Destiny’s Embrace – Kairi is able to wield it as she has proven herself worthy. There have been a few scenarios that show that she is always willing to help those who cannot protect themselves.

Kingdom Key D – Mickey needs it to help sealing the Door to Darkness with the Kingdom Key. Sealing the Door will ensure the safety of the worlds. The Kingdom Key D then appears for Mickey’s aid.

Oathkeeper and Oblivion

-          Oathkeeper resembles the relationship between Sora and Kairi; Oblivion resembles the relationship between Sora and Riku.

-          Roxas is Sora’s Nobody, so he can wield them. He can dual-wield due to Ventus and is unlocked when he promises to remember Xion after she fades away, returning to Sora.

-          These Keyblades come to Roxas because he is determined to overthrow Organization XIII (selfless act) and bring back Xion (selfish act).

-          The Oblivion also goes to Riku because he wants to capture Roxas and return him to Sora, allowing him to wake up. Riku sees his memory with Xion and hears her telling him to stop Roxas from reaching Xemnas. This is because Xion thinks Roxas is not strong to face Xemnas and his strength needs to return to Sora, allowing Sora to harness full power to defeat Xemnas.

Earthshaker and Wayward Wind – These two Keyblades come to Aqua’s aid in her desperate time. Aqua treasures her friendship with Terra and Ventus.

Void Gear – Vanitas gains Ventus’ memories after the split. He may think that those memories are his, but they are not – Vanitas is a different person from Ventus. He knows that Ventus is scared and is unable to fight off the Neoshadows. Thinking that the memories are his, and he himself is Ventus, he feels the need to protect himself, but he actually desires to protect Ventus. Hence, a Keyblade that is different from Ventus’ comes to him (due to different agenda).

Lea’s Keyblade – It is assumed that Yen Sid has performed the ceremony on Lea but he only gets his Keyblade after helping Riku and Mickey to save Sora (and his friends Roxas, Xion and Ventus). He also expresses his willingness to help Riku if he is trapped in the darkness when attempting to awaken Sora.

In the more recent Kingdom Hearts 3 trailers and screenshots, Xehanort is seen to be surrounded by 12 other No Name Keyblades. It is believed that these Keyblades come from his vessels since he has implanted a piece of his heart into them. According to Nomura, Xehanort will take over their hearts and they will lose their individuality – they will become Xehanort himself. Hence, their ability to wield a No Name Keyblade is actually not gained – they are used by Xehanort for his goals.

Joseph Campbell once said that “new order is paradoxically no order at all”. If this quote be applied in Kingdom Hearts, it will mean that everybody can be a Keyblade wielder by learning the strength of a heart and to have compassion. This is evident as Sora can wield one without the ceremony being performed on him.

Those who does not understand the true strength or is evil would be out of reach as the Keyblades automatically knows who is ready for it. This is evident that the Kingdom Key rejects Riku for not understanding the strength of a heart. Even if Braig managed to defeat Terra, no Keyblade would come to him as he only viewed the Keyblade for power, not as a tool to help others. Even if anyone uses the Keyblades for evil purposes, other wielders will put a check on that, preventing a war. In truth, the world should be structured according to a general sense of platonic love.

[phoenix-downer]

Flame Part 1

For SoKai Week Day 6 - All and everything angst.

Contains potentially upsetting/distressing material. More info in the tags. 

Part 1 of 2. Read Part 2 here.

Normally Kairi wouldn’t have been surprised to get a response from Sora, but things were different now.

I’m willing to hear your proposal – the words that had filled her heart with both hope and dread.

One foot in front of the other. That’s all I have to do. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and move forward.

I will meet you at the World That Never Was, and I will be alone, as you requested.

She paused and clutched the letter more tightly. It had Sora’s messy handwriting on it, but it was too formal and stiff. It wasn’t at all how he talked.

“Sora.”

It was his face, but Xehanort’s golden eyes stared back at her when he spoke. “How many times do I have to tell you, that name has no meaning for me anymore.”

I likewise expect you to be alone. If you bring anyone else—

Well, technically she’d kept her word. No one else was here, but all she had to do was touch her necklace, and a signal would be sent to Riku and the others and they’d come running.

Glancing around at the empty and colorless castle around her, she couldn’t help but remember the last time they’d been here. This place had nothing but the ghosts of old memories now, here to haunt her and remind her of a time before everything had fallen apart.

“So,” he said, clasping his hands behind his back and strolling towards the nearby balcony. “What is it you drug me all the way out here for? I’m curious to hear your proposal.”

Taking a deep breath to steel her nerves, she closed the distance between them and reached towards him. “Sora—”

“Don’t touch me!” He recoiled from her and it hurt because Sora, the real Sora, would never reject her like that.

She let her hand linger in the air for a moment before balling it into a fist at her side. He frowned, and something flickered through his eyes that Kairi thought might be emotion. But soon his expression smoothed over, and his face was the same impassive mask as before.

He leaned against the balcony and looked out at the corridors and hallways and chambers below them, all devoid of life and teetering on the edge of existence.

“This world really is something, isn’t it?” he said. “You denizens of the light think it has no right to exist, nor does it belong to us from the dark.” He turned to her and stretched his arms out wide. “And yet here it is, stubbornly refusing to disappear, even though it belongs to neither the darkness nor the light.”

Kairi sighed and rolled her eyes. Xehanort never had learned when to shut up, and she wasn’t in the mood for another one of his stupid ramblings.

Hearing it come from Sora just added insult to injury. She missed his delightful bluntness, his playful teasing, the warmth in his voice when he said her name, the tenderness in his eyes when she caught him looking at her. All of that was gone now, replaced by Xehanort’s cold manner and convoluted way of speaking.

“I don’t give a rip about this world,” she said, turning away from him. “I was held prisoner here for months, remember?”

Whether he remembered or cared, she didn’t know, because he was silent.

“I only asked to meet you here because it’s in your territory,” she clarified.

“And why did you ask to meet me, Kairi?”

She gritted her teeth. “Don’t call me that.” It hurt too much. It was still too soon.

“Fine, princess. What do you want from me?” He maneuvered around her so she was forced to look at him again, forced to face the reality of what Xehanort had done to him.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?” She glared at him. “You’re the one who needs me for your big plan, after all.”

To her surprise, his expression softened. “More than you know.”

She ignored the way her heart pounded and hurriedly continued. “F-for the χ-blade. The others told me about your plan. You need either the Princesses of Heart or the Guardians of Light for it, right?”

“Yes,” he said. “The worlds are torn between light and darkness, and the χ-blade can fix that.”

“You mean I can fix that.”

He nodded. “Starting with this world.” He paused and looked her in the eye, his steady gaze tearing down all the careful defenses she’d built around her heart. “It’s been broken, cut off from everything and abandoned. It… longs... to be what it once was. It yearns to be whole again.”

His voice, which had been so measured and even before, wavered and cracked, and Kairi’s eyes went wide.

He wasn’t talking about this world. He wasn’t talking about this world at all.

She recovered her composure as quickly as she could, hoping Xehanort hadn’t noticed her slip.

“Right,” she said, turning around and leaning against the balcony. “So I was thinking, if I offered to help you, would you—”

“Don’t worry about the details. If you promise to help me, that’s good enough,” he said, quick to stop her from making an actual deal.

“So you want my help with… restoring the worlds, and in return you’ll give me… what, exactly?”

“Whatever your heart desires.”

“And you’re sure I’m the only one who can do this?”

Sora nodded. She noted with a great deal of satisfaction that not even Xehanort could tame the wonderful mess that was his hair.

“Yes. Your heart is what I need,” he said softly.

Your heart. Your heart. She had to use her heart to save him. But how? Her Keyblade was out of the question. Xehanort would suspect something was up as soon as she summoned it. Same went for any sort of light-based magic.

No, it had to be subtle, subtle but powerful, something Xehanort would never suspect. Sora couldn’t suspect it, either.

Heart. Love. An act of love.

“Do we have a deal?” he asked.

She tapped her cheek. “Hmmm… You said I could have anything I wanted if I help you, right?”

“Yes.”

“Anything at all?”

He nodded.

She straightened and strolled away from him. “That’s impossible. You can’t give me what I want.” When she glanced back at him, his lips were parted and his eyes were filled with a mixture of confusion and distress.

Sora, please. Trust me.

“What is it you want?” he asked. He must have thought she would bargain for his freedom. But no, she knew better than to trust Xehanort. The creep would go back on his word if she tried.

“Your heart, Sora, but that’s gone. It’s been gone for a long time. You’re just an empty puppet full of darkness now.”

He clenched his fists and closed his eyes. “A puppet? Is that all you think I am now?”

“What else could you be? Xehanort’s taken you over, heart, body, and soul.” She took a deep breath and prepared herself for the final blow. “You’re hopeless. I can’t save you, even if I wanted to.”

I don’t really mean it. Please don’t think I mean it.

He did. His eyes flew open, and the look of utter despair and hurt he gave her was something she never wanted to see again.But she couldn’t afford to reveal her true intentions. If he believed she wasn’t trying to save him, then Xehanort wouldn’t suspect her, either.

“But that doesn’t mean I won’t make a deal with Xehanort,” she quickly added. “There is something I still need from him.”

She took a step back, and he took one closer.

“And what would that be, now that you’ve made it clear you’ve given up on me?” he said, his golden eyes flashing. “And here I thought I meant something to you. You’re heartless, princess. Completely and utterly heartless.”

It was with a great deal of effort that she controlled herself, because his words cut her to the quick. They poked and prodded at the wounds caused by his loss. Whether Xehanort or Sora was the one saying them didn’t matter. They hurt because she couldn’t bear to think that Sora felt like he’d been abandoned.

“It’s nothing much,” she said. “Easy request to fulfill, really.” She kept backing up until the wall behind her halted any further progress, luring him closer with each step.

“What is it?” he asked, so close she could almost touch him.

C’mon, just a little closer! she silently pleaded, willing him to take that last step. Her whole plan depended on it.

Please, Sora, please!

She waited with bated breath. Would he do it? Would he close the last bit of distance between them?

Yes. He finally did, and he was within reach. She couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across her face.

“This,” she said. Grabbing his black coat, she pulled him to her. Understanding dawned on his face, and he gave her a look of pure relief, relief and hope.

“Kairi,” he whispered, a plea, a prayer, a request she was all too happy to fulfill. Their faces were inches apart now, their lips about to touch—

He was yanked away from her by the hair, and his pained cry sent a chill down her spine.

“No! Please!” She reached out to him, but it was too late. Xehanort handed him over to Xemnas and Ansem.

“Show him what disobedience brings,” he told them and turned to her.

“You clever girl,” he said, and he actually looked impressed. “You were trying to give him true love’s kiss, weren’t you? A kiss from a Princess of Heart would be powerful indeed. Powerful enough to break even my spells.” He crossed his hands behind his back and circled her. “I must say, you did such a good job of deceiving him that you had me fooled, too. You really are quite the actress.”

“Sora, you know I didn’t mean what I said!” She had to make sure he knew that. Her fingers went to her necklace, and Xemnas wrenched Sora’s head up and forced him to look at her.

Tears shimmered in his eyes. Whether they were from the pain of being yanked around by the hair or the frustration of coming so close to being rescued, Kairi wasn’t sure.

“Oh, but that doesn’t make it any less true,” Ansem said. “This empty shell, this vessel of darkness, isn’t worthy of a Princess of Heart.”

He threw Sora to the ground, and Sora had to use his left hand to catch his weight. He winced and cried out, and Kairi couldn’t take it anymore.

“Stop it! You’re hurting him!” She tried to cast a healing spell, but Xemnas grabbed her and pinned her arms behind her back. She could only watch as Ansem pulled Sora up by the hair again. He yelped and tried to pry Ansem’s hand away with his good hand, but it was no use.

“She spoke the truth,” Ansem said. “You’re hopeless, and you’ve brought her nothing but pain.” He dropped Sora back to the ground with an agonizing thud. Sora groaned and tried to lift himself up, only for Ansem to kick him in the side and send him sprawling again.

“Stop it!” Kairi kicked Xemnas in the shins with as much force as she could muster. He staggered backwards and she very nearly broke free, only for him to grab her again at the last possible second.

“She was kidnapped because of you,” Ansem continued. “She was imprisoned because of you. You haven’t kept a single promise you made to her. She really would be better off without you.”

“Shut up!” Kairi said, fighting against Xemnas’s grip once more. “None of that is true! Sora, meeting you is the best thing that’s ever happened to me!” She stomped on Xemnas’s foot to buy herself more time.

She had to say it. She had to say what she truly felt. She took one last breath and put her whole heart into her words.

“My heart belongs to you! It always has, and it always will!”

Xemnas clamped a hand over her mouth, but it was too late. Sora lifted his head to look at her again, and his eyes were a brilliant, vibrant blue. Ansem yanked him to his feet, but he didn’t even act like he was in pain anymore. He smiled through his tears instead, the most beautiful, heartbreaking smile that brought tears to her eyes, too.

His mouth formed the shape of words, three silent, heartfelt words, and they gave her the strength to keep fighting. She bit Xemnas’s hand, and hard. He grunted and let go of her, and she ran towards Sora. The swirling darkness Xehanort had summoned was engulfing him now, but he held his hand out to her anyway.

She reached out to him, and their fingers touched. For a few precious seconds they were connected, their hands at least joined together in the touch their lips had been denied. A spark pulsed down her arm and warmed her heart, and she willed all the light within her to reach him.

Then their hands were torn apart, and when the light had faded, she was alone.

Well, that wasn’t exactly true. Her backup had arrived. Riku, King Mickey, Donald, and Goofy were all here now, weapons at the ready until they realized they wouldn’t have to fight. She brought her hand to her lips and kissed it, allowing the tears to flow freely down her face.

Riku let his Keyblade disappear and put his hand on her shoulder. “Sorry we didn’t make it in time, Kairi.”

“He was himself again,” she whispered. “His eyes turned blue and he smiled at me. He actually smiled at me, and I – I—”

She buried her face in Riku’s chest and sobbed. If only it had worked. If only she’d been able to save him in time. Now he was back in enemy hands, and she could only imagine what kinds of horrible things they were doing to him.

“I couldn’t save him. He was counting on me and I couldn’t do it.”

Riku knew better than to say anything. He just held her as she cried instead. When she’d gotten it out of her system, he looked her in the eye and spoke.

“Kairi, you’re wrong about one thing. You didn’t let Sora down. You said his eyes turned blue. That means he’s getting himself back, and you’re the one who helped him do that.”

King Mickey nodded. “Riku’s right. He’s still fightin’, and that means there’s hope.”

“C’mon, Kairi, you can’t give up now,” Donald said.

She sniffed and wiped her eyes. “You’re right. We have to keep trying. We have to save him.” She wouldn’t rest until he was safe.

“Atta girl,” Goofy said. He gave her a lopsided grin, and she couldn’t help but feel a little better.

She’d thought that Sora needed some grand act of love to free him, but maybe that wasn’t the case. Maybe the tender affection burning in their hearts, soft and gentle and warm, would be enough to drive the darkness away.

It might take weeks, it might take months, it might even take years, but that spark, that connection between the two of them, was the light that would break the chains imprisoning him once and for all. She was sure of that now.

And until that day, until the day of his liberation, she would do whatever she could to stoke the flame.

[tumblunni]

Reading the kingdom hearts manga, woo! I saw some of this when I was like 15 or something, but this is my first time reading the whole thing in actual order. Here’s just a few good bits from the beginning so far!

I’ve gotta say that even though this series has a (REALLY BIG) problem with rushing stuff + cutting out most of the disney worlds, there’s also a lot to love!

I think it actually managed to make the beginning way more dramatic just from how everyone is..well.. drawn more disney. Or more manga..disney?? Like its not the same style as how humans are atcually drawn in disney cartoons but you’ve gotta agree that the people are more cartoony and expressionate here and it looks less out of place. Same for how the manga adds lots more humour even while keeping things tense and dramatic! it helps establish people’s personalities a lot quicker than the game does, and honestly GIVES perosnality to Sora who otherwise doesnt have anything except ‘is really nice and good’. Here he’s more socially awkward and hyperactive and like.. endearing cos he tries his best but doesnt always succeed.

And the clear facial expressions for all of these moments leave it feeling less flat and like.. hard to tell what the damn intent of the scene was. Seirously the only way I agree KH1 was ‘a kids game’ is how the attempts at ‘humour’ were really low effort. Like you can tell its supposed to be a joke from how the scene plays out but you really cant tell what the joke was actually supposed to be. Like the sort of “knock knock” “who’s there?” “i’m here!” jokes that kids make when they’re five. And ruining actual jokes by delivering them in the same stilted way, like the whole “the ship runs on smiles” scene could have been funny but it just plays out so weirdly devoid of all sense of comic timing?? And sora’s funny face is barely exaggerated cos they couldnt model it!

It sucks cos that scene was a great example of the ‘very wacky but also extra emotionally resonant’ kind of thing that this manga excels at! The context of that weird joke was that its the first time we see Sora completely devoid of all optimism, beating Traverse Town really is the finishing point of the very long tutorial, and the moment it all sinks in that his friends are gone and he doesnt know what to do. And for a guy who’se ENTIRE PERSONALITY so far has just been ‘nice, optimistic, and you the player can project whatever else you want on him’, it should have been a wham moment to see him fall down in exhaustion after all that and have a realistic human reaction to it all. And then it should have been really uplifting and established their immediate friendship when Goofy and Donald try their best to cheer him up, but like.. theyre fuckin stressed too so they dont know wtf they’re doing either. And Sora ends up actually laughing because his attempt to fake a smile is so god awful, and then they all fall about in one of those so-damn-stressed-that-everything-is-hilarious giggle fits, and Leon looks at them like they’re crazy. But it served its purpose of helping Sora feel optimistic again, not because it was actually funny but because it proves these guys care about him and he isn’t alone.

AKA EXACTLY THE TIDUS LAUGH SCENE IN FINAL FANTASY 10

i get so mad that it’s falsely blamed as a case of ‘bad dub voice acting’, when it was equally bad in japanese and the director fuckin PLANNED it to be bad! The characters in-universe end the damn scene by aknowledging its bad! Its just a fail of scriptwriting that they didnt make the intent of the moment clear before dropping the punchline, and it was animated so weirdly that it didnt really succeed at looking ‘intentionally bad’ but just.. bad. Exactly the same problem as the ‘ship of smiles’ face, for a scene that was supposed to deliver the same sad goddamn moment and instead went down in infamy!

Sneaking character development into a joke is a thing that requires a lot of actual skill, you shouldnt do it unless you’re gonna put the effort in to stick the landing. Steven Universe is the only show I’ve seen that consistantly succeeds at this, and the KH manga does a much better job than the game did. Even if, yes, admittedly, sometimes it flubs up and sticks jokes where they dont work, and actually ruins dramatic moments too. or just doesnt adapt dramatic moments at all and rushes through it cos they’re on a tight schedule. But I mean none of those moments fail as bad as the game’s occasional cringe, and the wacky style fits SO much better with the story that i can forgive those flaws! Plus they got way better as the series goes on, its only really KH1 that seems this rushed. And they actually added MORE dramatic moments to Days! I stopped reading the manga at the end of KH1 as a kid, and I started this whole rereading because I saw a page of Days where they (OH GODDD) turned one particular perosn’s death into legit traumatizing material. I don’t know why “I don't want to go” is such a simple way to burn your entire soul out. So if it started off good but flawed and turned into something even better than the games, HECK YEAH I’m gonna give it a second chance!

...sorry i went wildly offtopic there

Anyway I picked these pages to show cos its a good example of great jokes, how the jokes give more personality, and how they put more effort into personality in general and also the dark and dramatic stuff, which hits harder because its in such a fluffy adorable jokes manga.

Like you can see how Sora is more of a goofball and freaks out more and makes mistakes more, but also how when the fights arent playable they used it as a place to establish that Sora is actually way more intelligent than you thought, and his fighting style is physically weak but strategically skilled. Like he’s basically what Aqua ended up being?? And that’s way more endearing as a protagonist than just super overpowered destiny man where his only failures are because you the player are bad. Anf its also endearing to mix this genius strategist with a guy who’s EVEN MORE goofy oblivious and innocent, yknow? the genius ditz archetype! And also his cliche shonen hero obliviousness is.. well, less cliche. He reacts more like a real kid who’s just scared and out of his depth, and messes up when he tries to talk to the girl he has a crush on. It’s not like “harr dee harr, what is marriage, can you eat it?” unrealistic kinds of oblivious that only exist for the joke. Nah, relateable anxiety man! With goofier faces! I CANNOT OVERSTATE HOW MUCH I PREFER THE GOOFIER FACES

And man the beginning is so more fuckin dramatic when we get all DIFFERENT CAMERA ANGLES and ACTUAL FACES SHOWING DESPAIR and DARKNESS POSSESSED RIKU LOOKIN REALLY FUCKIN SCARY and it fuckin goes so fast from wholesome jokes with ur crush to ABSOLUTE DEATH and cos sora reacts so much more like a normal lil kid you feel actually scared for him even though you know how the story is gonna go. He’s not an archetype of purity he’s just like any lil neighbourhood duderino that you’d see running errands for his mom on the weekend. HE’S TOO YOUNG FOR ALL THIS PRESSURE!! AND SCARY RIKU FACES!!!

And man they fuckin ACTUALLY SHOW SOMEONE GETTING THEIR HEART RIPPED OUT ONSCREEN! Thats a way better way of establishing the whole crux of the plot! When you’re playing the game you know that seeing someone turn into a heartless should be traumatic, but it doesnt focus long on it and you never get to see any of the victims before they turned, and you’re more focused on gameplay. You feel less powerless when you’re physically able to destroy those things whenever you want, there’s never a moment like this where someone dies in a cutscene and its out of your control. (Unless you count some heroic sacrifice scenes in kh2 but thats an entirely different kind of feeling, and they turned out to come back from the dead anyway.) Also wtf i cant believe they got away with showing a creepy pedo lady in a kids shonen! I mean it does make me feel a lot less sympathy for her getting killed, but I still feel super sad seeing Sora get traumatized by it!

ALSO

Cid is good.

The way they write him in the manga reminds me of Bardo from Black Butler? He’s a similar chain smoking grumpy dad figure who looks like harmless comic releif but has a bunch of hidden heavy artillery in his shitty kitchen for when he needs to protect his family. And it was extra badass (and hilarious) when he once actually used his bad cooking to assassinate someone?? tho it was via causing a flour explosion rather than it just being so shitty its poison

ANYWAY IM GOING OFFTOPIC IN MANY WAYS

this mang is gud

also lookit how cute the baby destiny trio look in this style!!!

[cameoamalthea]

Nobody Loves Anyone

Axel didn't care about Roxas, didn't like him, didn't love him; he felt nothing for him. Nobodies couldn’t have friends. It was all just pretending. He felt nothing for anything, really. Which made what he was about to do even more stupid.

There was no reason for it.

Everything he'd done during his time with the Organization had been calculated, it furthered his goals, Saix's goals. It was rational, brutal at times, and heartless, but that's exactly what Axel was. He had no heart. He had feelings. He did not care.

These things had enabled him to do whatever it took.

Killing his own comrades, even as they begged and looked at him with perfect facsimile's of fear in their eyes. He'd done it with a smirk. Even though he didn't particularly want the icky jobs, if he could like, he would have liked winning. Axel did what needed to be done, and everything was one step closer to furthering Saix's ends, and thus Axel's ends. They were together on this, they'd always been together.

Growing up, he'd been Isa's shadow, following him around, looking up to him. Isa was older, smarter, and had been considerably taller back then. Axel was taller now, and probably stronger. He didn't need Saix, he could serve his own ends now, even if they didn't make any sense.

Betraying the Organization was a death sentence, well, elimination. Axel couldn't exactly call what he was now "alive". Still, up until now self preservation had been pretty high up on his list of priorities, but he was beginning to question that. Why it should matter? Lea was dead, so was Isa, and nothing mattered. Literally.

He laughed at that, even though it wasn't funny, but maybe he liked to pretend that he could find the absurdity of it all hilarious.

Axel didn't know why he was doing this. Even if nothing mattered and he could not care, Axel was aware of basic needs. The need to exist, become whole again. Whatever he was as a Nobody, it wasn't quite dead, so he clung to what could be called life. Clung to his form, to his memories, to existence, and to the desire to be again. Kingdom Hearts had held that promise, and if he helped Saix, followed the plan, they would have it. Except, that didn't matter now either. The vague promise of heart. All that mattered now was getting Roxas back.

It was ridiculous.

Axel did not care about Roxas. Axel should have been able to eliminate him without hesitation, it wasn't like he could feel bad about it. But when they sent him after Roxas, Axel knew he wouldn't follow though. Bring him back, unconscious if necessary, sure, he could do that, but he didn't want to destroy Roxas. His heart wasn't in it, ok, bad turn of phrase, but there wasn't a good way to describe how he-no he didn't feel. It was hard to understand motives when you were empty, when you didn't care.

Maybe it was best to stick with needs. What Axel needed. He needed Roxas, he needed Roxas to stay with him, because Roxas was the only think that kept him from losing himself completely.

Axel remember who he used to be, Lea. Axel knew he couldn't have fallen farther. When he had a heart, he would have never have done of those horrible things. He wouldn't have been able to. As a nobody, things were simple, sum it all up to what was best for your own long term goals.

Axel was selfish, that was the nature of a Nobody. Selfishness, because when there's hardly anything left of "self" you have to be. Roxas made him feel like he was himself. Like he was something, like he had a heart.

Axel needed that feeling! And so he needed Roxas back, and nothing else mattered, especially not Roxas himself.

Axel lied frequently, he was a manipulative bastard after all, but he wasn't a very good liar. Especially when it came to lying to himself. So Axel knew he wasn't doing this out of love. He did not love Roxas, he not care about Roxas at all. He was going to find Roxas's other and rip his soul apart to get Roxas back, and he didn't care. He didn't care that he was going to make Roxas a heartless shell again, a Nobody, or that such a fate wasn't something he'd wish on anyone, even his worst enemy. He also didn't care who else he hurt along the way, or if he doomed the world, worlds plural, everything, by taking out their only hope.

Let the world burn! He didn't care, he wasn't capable. Let everyone die, it was nothing to him. The only thing that was anything was Roxas, having him, and being near him.

Because somehow being with Roxas had changed him, made him feel like he could be somebody. Even though he didn't believe in any of that. Axel didn't even really believe Kingdom Hearts could save them. Nobodies can't be Somebodies again, because there has to be some lines that once you cross there's no going back.

Except, when he was with Roxas he felt...something. Something he couldn't describe, but the fact that it was anything at all made it more than enough to go after.

So Axel had his objective: get Roxas back. He knows it's suicidal, and it can't end well for anyone. He knows that if he cared about Roxas, he would want what was best for him. He knows what he plans to do isn't out of love, it couldn't be farther from love.

Love is selfless. Love is what people with hearts can do,what Sora can and does do. Which is why going after Kairi is the most logical step, if only because Riku's too powerful and isn't worth the risk. So, Kairi is the target of choice. Because Axel knows about love in theory.

When you love someone, you'll do anything for them, even sacrifice yourself. That's how love is, selfless to the point that you'd give everything, even your life, for the person you love. That's what Axel's hoping for, let Sora die for Kairi, let Sora throw himself into the darkness so he'll die and Roxas will be reborn. Axel knows he could never do a think like that, because that would require caring.

If Axel could care, he probably wouldn't be doing this. If he could care, he might love Roxas, at least enough to let him go. But Axel can't, he can't let Roxas go anymore than he could love him. Love is something you need to do with all of your being, and he doesn't have a being to give for Roxas. So it doesn't matter, and he doesn't care.

Roxas once asked him about love, and since then Axel's figured something out. Some people talk about love as finding your other half, like the best friend charms, two pieces fitting together, forming a whole heart. Love isn't like that though. It's a heart, whole all by itself, being given to another, shared, so that both hearts grow. Like two small flames merging to create a bigger blaze.

Maybe Roxas had a heart after all, and maybe he actually loved Axel. Poor Roxas, if that was the case, because Axel knows he isn't worth it. Love is about giving, Axel has nothing to give, so all he can do is take. But maybe Roxas was giving, sharing the heart he somehow had, and Axel heavily suspects that Roxas had a heart. Axel knew there was something different about him, after all. Roxas genuinely cared about others, he'd been worried when he thought Axel had been eliminated with the others at Castle Oblivion, and the way he acted. Roxas cared, Roxas felt, Roxas wasn't like any Nobody could or should be. So if Roxas did have a heart, maybe this, this feeling Axel had when he was with Roxas was because of that. Because Roxas was sharing his heart with him, because Roxas loved him.

All the same, Axel knows he doesn't have a heart, even if Roxas makes him almost feel like he does. The truth is, Axel is empty inside, and has nothing to share. Nothing to bond him to Roxas. Nothing to give him a reason to care. And he doesn't, which is why he's going to feed Sora to the darkness and rip Roxas's shared soul appart. Because he doesn't care, and that inability to feel makes him able to do anything to satisfy his own selfish needs. It's the opposite of love, but what can you expect from a Nobody?

But why go through the trouble if he doesn't care? How can his need be this great if can't feel? Why risk his existence for another moment with Roxas? Maybe it's just chasing the ghost of a feeling. When all you've got is nothing, even the glimmer of a feeling can seem like everything. So here he goes, selfishness personified, because that's all it can be, all he's capable of. It's not about Roxas, it's about himself, looking out for number one, as always. Maybe, despite the feeling, Roxas hasn't changed him one bit after all, because he's still not willing to give anything. 

It's all take, that sums up the relationship.

And even though nothing really makes sense anymore, about one thing Axel is absolutely sure.

He does not love Roxas.