#actually the last like 20 minutes of the movie makes me cry nonstop

[bikananjarrus]

question does anyone watch the the end of return of the king with frodo sailing to the undying lands without sobbing so hard they can’t breathe? asking for a friend

[hoonloveclub]

appreciation moment

bestfriends!enhypen x gn!reader (fluff!!!!)

a/n: finally finished this after it being in my drafts for a while! i hope this made you guys smile and let me know if you guys like the style :DD

word count: 1.2k

warnings: nothing just a few curse words :)

fuck elevators and their need for maintenance

out of breath and ten minutes later than planned, your hands are heavy with full bags containing a plethora of chips, ramen, a ton of candy, and eight (very heavy) drinks, as you bang on the door to the boys’ dorm.

“guys let me in 20 cube i’m about to turn around and never come back if you don’t in the next five seconds! my arms are a millisecond away from falling off!”

that was not an exaggeration. okay just kidding, maybe it was. a little.

raising your heels off the ground, in an attempt to peek into the peephole, you’re met with one, sole, magnified eyeball.

“y/n we all know you won’t have any other friends to hang out with if you do” a singsong-y voice and owner of mentioned eyeball, jungwon, cheekily refutes.

“shut up won, and i don’t know, open the door while you’re at it” 

knowing his statement wasn’t far from the truth, you would do anything for your seven dear (annoying) friends, even climbing nine flights of stairs, but that was the last thing you needed them to know

as the door swings open you’re met with a smiling jungwon and an overly excited niki

“Y/NNNN” all the bags crash down as niki crashes into you, towering over you with his long limbs, any bitterness previously on your mind long gone

you swear he wasn’t this tall the last time you saw him but maybe your eyes were just deceiving you

“niki did you really miss me that much you big baby” you roll your eyes, contrary, a smile graces your features

he laughs, playfully pulling at your cheeks

“eyy are you saying you didn’t miss me” he points at your face, a sly smile emerging

“touché” you laugh, patting his cheek in endearment, “where’s everyone else at?”

"they’re-”

“Y/N-IEEEE MY BABY”

“OH Y/N YOU GOT THE GOOD GOODS”

“YES HOW’D YOU KNOW I WAS CRAVING GUMMIES”

speaking all over each other, you realized how long it had been since you last saw them

“i missed you guys”

“AWW DID YOU GUYS HEAR THAT, Y/N MISSED US” heeseung holds his chest dramatically, expressing how touched he was at your sudden confession

regretting your words almost immediately, you cover your face in embarrassment and playfully push hee’s arm “i take it back”

heeseung holds back his laugh

“it’s okay y/n we missed you too” sunghoon sweetly assures, nudging your leg from across your seat

replying with a quick “this is why you’re my favorite” hoon beams with giddiness, the cute dimple you adored appearing on his cheek

movie nights were a weekly occurrence between you and the seven, but due to busy schedules, the past month’s movie nights were, to everyone’s dismay, all cancelled

“okay so what do you guys want to watch tonight” sunghoon asked cheerily, sipping a bit of a sweet latte you bought specifically for him, knowing it was his favorite

you were munching on a mix of ruffles, hot cheetos, and m&ms, niki sprawled on your lap to the right of you, and jay clinging to the arm on your left as jay pipes up, “i was actually thinking something light hearted like, i don’t know, high school musical?”

after a month of nonstop work you were ready to relax (aka jam to bet on it with jay)

“i second that” you mindlessly agree, earning a smile from the boy beside you

the rest exchange knowing glances of ‘any other recommendations?’ to which you don’t notice

“..actually what I was thinking is less of a light hearted school romance movie, but more of a light hearted-ish action movie like spider-man homecoming?” jake suggests, looking around for approval

you shrug, but one after another, the rest of the boys agree to spider-man homecoming, the only other siding for high school musical being sunoo

“yes! okay spider-man it is!” jungwon excitedly exclaims, turning on the tv and getting settled next to jake

slightly disappointed, you wanted to watch high school musical, but nonetheless you could never resist peter parker (especially played by tom holland)

“being spider-man would be so cool” jake lets out, mesmerized by the action on screen “like imagine being able to just do… that” he motions to the scene

“honestly, jake, you’d be a solid spider-man” you reply

“you think so?” a smile tugging at jake’s lips

“not to rain on your parade, but i think not” jay interrupts, “obviously i’d be better,” perking up beside you

“yeah sure jay, what are you gonna do, spray your large variety of honey at them?” jake retorts

you can hear heeseung, sunghoon, sunoo, and jungwon’s snickering from across the room

“i would just be spider-man dumbass, with web shooters?? you-”

“i heard somewhere that tom holland had to wear a thong while wearing the spider-man suit” niki says nonchalantly, still focused on the screen in front of him

you watch as jay’s eyes widen

“take it back, jake can be spider-man” jay says, to which everyone cries laughing at for a whole 10 minutes

“ugh tom holland is just so perfect- where can i find a man like him” you exclaim, earning a quick response from none other than heeseung

“Y/N! you are currently surrounded by 7 hunky men! what more can you ask for”

“did you just use the word ‘hunky’? i heard that right? hunky?? no no no no, that’s it. i’m done. as much as i love y’all, hate to break it to you but tom holland is THE man.” you reply dreamily

“okay ya sure, because you can totally pull someone like him,, we’ll wait.”

“you know what jungwon, just let me live in peace for one day without reminding me how dry my relationship status is everyday” you jokingly reply, words dripping with an insincere annoyance

“y/nn, you know it’s because we love you. how is it gonna be when you get a significant other and leave us hanging every week? what are we gonna do then??” jungwon explains but he’s cut off when sunoo confesses

“y/n i’m gonna be honest, i most definitely have attachment issues with you”

“yeah. me too.” sunghoon nonchalantly adds.

all eyes are on you as you sit there between your dear friends, spider-man playing in the background, but now long forgotten.

to say that you appreciated each one of them was a total understatement.

they were everything to you, and you wouldn’t trade your friendship with them for the world

“no because now you guys are gonna make me cry or something” your eyes look up to the ceiling as you try to prevent the tears forming in your eyes from actually falling. plan failed.

“LOOK WHAT YALL DID. NOW MY BABY Y/N’S CRYING” jake puts his arms up and pretends to punch sunghoon

yeah sure your love life was like a tree on the verge of dying because of a drought, but you couldn’t imagine loving someone more than your friends.

“you guys are the best. i mean- for now i guess”

“eyyyyy y/n you just broke my heart” jake holds his heart and pretends to faint

you laugh, tear stained cheeks now glowing with happiness 

[sparklesparklekoushi]

Choose Your Glucose Guardian! (Ushijima Wakatoshi Ver.)

This is part one of a seven part series based on some of the Haikyuu! Captains.

This was originally posted on my Ao3 here: link

Minor spoiler-ish? Mentions a timeskip! team.

That’s all, enjoy!!

You don’t even know how you got here. You were in bed, in a really really oversized shirt with nothing under it. But no, nothing had happened prior to that. You were snuggled up to none other than Japan's volleyball ace, Ushijima Wakatoshi. A movie was playing in the background, probably The Princess Diaries for the nth time during the week. It was a normal occurrence, at night you would find yourself in one of his jerseys or snuggly shirts that were at least 2 times bigger than you, snuggled up to him watching the same damn movie or some other teen flick until who knows what hour.

He would fall asleep faster than you would, but you wouldn't have it any other way this way, you could stare at him lovingly without having to hide it. This way you could admire his peaceful features in contrast to how cold and stoic he looks when he is awake. He doesn't snore, but sometimes you'd catch him sleep talking about volleyball if you're lucky enough. When that would happen you would giggle and smile at what you would hear. But then again, you shouldn't be feeling this way at all…

After all, these were against unspoken rules…

The unspoken rules of being a sugar baby

Yes, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Ace of the Schwieden Adlers, was your sugar daddy.

Yet why did you feel this way?

Maybe it was the way he held you close, like you were something to protect. Or it was in the way he actually smiled when he was with you. Was it the fact that he wasn’t much older than you either? He was only 27 and you were 21, not much of an age difference there and that made you bond, you could say, even closer.

Another thing is that Ushijima would never do anything you wouldn’t consent to. He knew his boundaries and knew how to respect your space. In fact, he was more of a friend at this point than someone who was supposed to be spoiling you nonstop. He just appreciated your company while you loved his company. You didn’t need fancy gifts or anything lavish, you honestly just wanted him. You, if you were to consider him as a friend, really wanted to take things to the next level.

But then, who were you to be anything but a plaything to get bored of? You were just a university student, an art student at that. You were just an expressive mess who was in love with someone who truly isn’t yours. You weren’t poor, in fact, you had a stable internship at an art gallery and your boss says you would make it big someday. You sell cute art and it's fun and fulfilling, so why were you in this situation.

It was another day at an art fair, but this art fair was somewhat different. You weren’t at some anime convention or anything like that, you were selling your original art at a local art fair. You were all dressed up as this took place at a fancy gallery. It was fun, but then this was sort of a test of how much you would sell. You were honestly scared, since this could be a stepping stone to becoming a recognized artist.

Some people had bought your art pieces and it made you happy, you didn’t really know how to price things at first, but your art teacher at your uni had helped you throughout the whole process, in fact, they were the reason you were here now. You were seated at your table, taking a break from talking to all these people when you were approached by a red haired man who seemed to be in the same age group as you.

Woah, that's cool, wish I was this big at that age… you thought to yourself.

He smiled at you when you met each other's eyes, “Excuse me, but would you happen to know the artist of these paintings?”

He was pointing in the direction of your most prized painting, the most expensive one at that. It was your definition of love at that time, a whimsical, beautiful thing.

You nodded, “Yes, that would be me.”

He smiles a little shocked, “Woah that's cool, how old are you? Aren’t you too young to be here?”

You knew he was joking as you both laughed, “For the record, I’m 20. So no, I don’t think I'm that young to be here.”

He nods in respect, “I’m Tendou, Tendou Satori. I’m actually asking about the painting for a friend.”

“(l/n) (y/n). If I may ask, who is willing to buy my painting?”

“I am.” A deep voice says sending shivers down your spine.

You looked behind you to see a tall man who seemed to be the same age as Tendou. And as much as you hate to admit it, he was really good looking.

You learned when talking to him that he was Ushijima Wakatoshi, and the Ace of Japan’s men's volleyball team. Soon enough he asked you to make him another painting… but that didn’t go that well at first.

Some things had happened and your family disowned you completely as you shifted to a full time art major. You argued with them constantly recently as they never supported you… And I guess going to local art fairs proved that you would not listen to them… so a few days later you were disowned. You didn’t know what to do, but you did have enough money for now, to last through the semester.

Eventually however, you had to call Ushijima to tell him about how you would not be able to produce his painting anytime soon. He had been talking to you for a while now, about mundane things like your lives. He thought you were a breath of fresh air and that was when he suggested it.

You were hesitant at first, but he reassured you that he would never do anything that you didn’t like. So you agreed to his somewhat proposal.

So just like that, it's been a year since that has happened. In all honesty, you could walk away from all of this now as you can stand on your own feet and all that. But Ushijima wouldn't let you go. He would always say that he wanted you to stay with him until you finished college at least or he would make other excuses.

You just wish he would do that out of the fact that he wanted to love you for you, and not because you were some fragile girl.

That night, you couldn’t take it any longer. Your thoughts piling up and eating at you were causing you to think of crazy things, so in the middle of the night, you left his house. You wandered out in his old shirt and some leggings as it was a cold night. You brought your phone but put it on airplane mode so you could listen to music. It was going to be a rough night for sure…

Ushijima stirred awake to find you missing from his arms. He was extremely worried. He tried calling you and giving you some time, but as 30 minutes passed and you didn’t answer, he couldn’t take it anymore, he had to find you. He heard you crying a few nights ago, and he wondered why. He thought that he might not be giving you enough art supplies or something, but he wanted you to tell him. So he hinted these things at you through the way Tendou had taught him.

He was honestly sick of this no feelings and strings attached relationship. He truly wanted to love you, but he was scared that you didn’t see him as anything more than a person to talk to, or dare he say it, a friend. He called up Tendou to help him and his friend sighed over the phone saying; “You better make her your girlfriend after this or I’m going to make her my sugar baby.”

That was enough of a push for him to find you and do what's right.

It was getting late, and both males had no hint of where you had gone. They had checked almost everywhere. That’s until Ushijima had realized that there would be a place you would 100% be in, the art gallery where you first met. It would be open until this time as it was open 24/7… plus, you interned there. He sent a text to Tendou to meet him there as he ran over to the place. And there you were, headphones in, about to enter the building. He came up to you and enveloped you into a hug, a hug that made you feel loved.

“Be mine.” He says as your eyes widen.

You’ve never felt so happy in your entire life, and with that, you shared a kiss under the moonlight.

[dreamonminecraft]

oh yes, tell me more about this beautiful lesbian slowburn. I’m a sucker for a good love story

Okay so to start off, My sexuality fluctuates greatly throughout this story, but as of now I identify as a Bisexual lithsexual lesbian, which means that I am attracted to lots of people but lose attraction when the feelings are reciprocated, and I'll only date girls.

The story starts off August of 2018. I was starting 6th grade (middle school) and didn't really have any friends aside from a few people that I had last talked to in 3rd grade.

It's important to know that I'm a GT kid and so I almost always have the same group of about 20 kids. This started when I changed to an all GT class for 4th grade.

While it's nice to have a comfortable learning environment, it also means that there's no escape from any drama, and you get to pick friends from the very small pool of kids that you'll spend the rest of your education with.

This is a pretty long story as well and I'm not sure I'll be able to accurately retell many of the things because dates get mixed up and stuff. Anyway, I'm gonna try my best to explain but these are really only the things from my point of view and I don't remember a lot of the things. (This is also gonna be written like a fanfic because that's all I know how to write, I apologise)

So start of sixth grade, I don't really have any friends, I'm kind of this awkward nerd, there's 2 people in my class (we switch classes like normal middle school, but I'm with the GT kids for most of the day so that's what I'll refer to them as) that I've known for years, a few I've met before, but mostly new people.

I sit by some old friends from volleyball at lunch for the first few days but begin to feel unwelcome. One day I decide to sit by these two people that I know are in GT but haven't talked to before. I don't say anything, but I sit and they don't mind.

The next day we get new seats in English. I'm behind a boy named Owen, Inara, who is one of the girls I sat with at lunch, is to my right, and in front of her is a girl named Emilyse.

Inara and I hit it off immediately.

It's kind of crazy because we're both crazy anxious introverts, but we gel nicely. I'm a boyband-obsessed 11 year old and she's a mature and mysterious 11 year old.

She's a lefty. I'm a righty. The way we've been placed makes us bump arms everytime we try to write anything.

We have every class together. Somehow, we sit next to each other in every class as well, even in the ones where we didn't pick our seating chart.

It's September. I cry over boybands. She watches curiously.

For the next couple of months we casually talk. She spends every lunch period in the library. We text occasionally.

I have another friend who takes priority. His name is Logan. We got introduced by his friend Lennox when she asked for my phone number to give to him.

Lennox and I don't talk. Logan and I text nonstop for months. We discuss possibly dating in the future. I identify as bisexual and biromantic at this point.

I've been in this position before. Having mainly guy friends growing up puts me in a lot of awkward friendship/relationship situations. They always end the same.

I have an issue with dating in middle school. You're not dating if you don't go on dates, hold hands, kiss, or cuddle. But you can feel like you are.

In December Logan starts being mean. We start a game where we step on each other's shoes at lunch or in the hallway. It's fun.

Eventually, he recruits his friends to do it to me, too. It's a joke a first, but eventually there are 10 middle school boys chasing me and trying to hurt me.

I get kicked in the hallway and fall. Someone steps on my arm and people laugh. Logan watches. I tell Inara and she steps on his shoe for me.

Logan and I stop talking. Inara and I hang out more. By early January, Inara has stopped going to the library at lunch. We hang out with Emilyse in the field instead.

I text Logan one day in mid January and ask why we fell out. He says that I told someone that I was going to punch him in the face.

The person he said I told, only talked to me at the bus stop, and he didn't ride my bus. I had never said it in the first place, but his logic made it even more frustrating.

I tell him I got scared because I had a crush on him and didn't want to make things weird. It was a lie.

In February I came out to someone for the first time. They asked if I was bi and I said yes.

By March I had accepted that coming out didn't really make a difference. Inara and I hung out at school but not really anywhere else.

My birthday's in April. I invite her, Emilyse, and Rebekah. We paint rocks and draw on a table cloth. Emilyse feels distant.

Emilyse is homophobic. We find out in English one day. I don't remember how. Inara and I look at each other. We know we're both queer but haven't come out to each other.

I ask Emilyse if she would hate someone in GT for coming out. She says yes. Inara and I stop talking to her.

By May I've become obsessed with Marvel. Inara's interested in it and I decide to be, too. We talk about the movies. It gets awkward. She's not as interested when I get in on it.

By June we're best friends. We hang out fairly regularly, have all our classes together, and text all the time. Logan is forgotten.

School lets out at the start of June. We keep texting regularly. We make plans to see the new spiderman movie in early July with one of our other friends.

I have a complicated relationship with said friend. They're non-binary, although I didn't know it yet, and I've known them since Kindergarten. Inara met them in an advisory this year. I get jealous easily.

The day of the movie I shop at Kohl's. I buy the two of us matching shirts. We meet at the movie theater and it's awkward. I pay for popcorn and sneak in snacks that we share. Our friend's dad is there, but Inara and I don't have parents present.

We sit next to each other during the movie. At a certain scene, I start to get anxious. My stomach hurts and I can't breathe, I start to get sweaty.

I get up and rush out of the theater. I get to the women's bathroom and sit down on the floor of the very last stall. I'm panicing, dry heaving into the toilet, and trying not to cry. I try to text my mom that I'm having a panic attack but don't have reception.

I go back into the theater room after a few minutes. I'm still anxious, but better. Our friend is highly concerned, Inara just glances at me worriedly.

It's my first panic attack, and it sucked.

We leave awkwardly after it ends, trying to avoid the obvious elephant in the room. My mom is concerned when she picks me up. We don't talk about it. My dad and brother are watching it illegally when I get home.

We don't see each other until August of 2019, but continue to text through the rest of the summer.

When 7th grade starts, I'm still into Marvel. I've seen all the movies at this point, but there haven't been any new ones (even now) since FFH. Inara's interested, but not fully.

In late August/Early September we take BuzzFeed quizzes for fun and text each other the results. I take one about soulmates. I get her initials. I send her the link. She gets mine.

We take more and they all point to us being soulmates. We propose by sending pictures of rings over text. The wedding date is set for September 28th, 2019.

The time comes. It's Saturday and my brother has a double football game. We've planned to pick her up and take her there. It's a Christian league, so the games are at a church.

We go to the garden. There's a small white bench in some rocks, surrounded by flowers. We joke that we've had our ceremony. We wander around for a while longer.

My dad suggests that we go to the taco bell across the parking lot. We do. When we're done, we walk back to my house. Its not far, but we're alone. I carry her halfway back.

When we get to my house we pick things from my garden. We're barefoot and I'm wearing overalls. I joke that we're gonna get a farm one day when we're older.

She picks things while I stand back and watch. The sun hits her dyed-red hair just right. I vividly remember smiling at thinking "holy fuck she's pretty" you would think I'd put together my crush by then.

October rolls around and she cancels plans to go trick-or-treating with me. I'm upset but understand.

We "work" on a school project at her house. We don't actually get anything done before cuddling up on her bed and falling asleep to black panther.

In November, it's Emilyse's birthday party. We've gotten distant but still talk occasionally. Inara and I both go to the party.

We're watching Spiderman Far From Home because that's what Emilyse wanted. I've seen in twice, Ianra has too.

We're given candy and popcorn and then curl up on the couch. Inara and I sit next to each other.

(I forgot to mention this but at some point she stayed the night at my house. She slept on the floor in her swimming suit even though I asked if she wanted to sleep on the bed. Swimming was fun though. We also go to an arcade. We mini-golf and play laser tag. We also danced in the rain together at some point that day.)

Once we're no more than 15 minutes into the movie, I'm cuddled into her chest. It's important to mention that at this point I'm 5'6 and she's no more than 5'0.

We cuddle the entire movie. We share candy and pretend no one else is there. It feels great.

We don't talk about that night for months. Nobody brings it up. I come out to Rebekah around this time, saying no more than that I like girls. I still haven't told Inara.

By December, I've brought her to church a few times. I don't enjoy going to church, but my parents always encouraged it.

(I'd like to say at this point as well that I have been raised Christian and identify with the faith despite the fact that I despise Church and disagree with many of the common teachings. If I ever had to choose for some reason, my sexuality matters more to me than my religion. Regardless, I respect your beliefs if they differ from mine :) )

Inara's birthday is in mid December. Her party consists of us making gay jokes with our enby friend despite not being technically out to each other.

My church youth group plans ice skating. I invite her and she accepts. I'm worried about it. It's essentially a date. Neither of our parents will be there.

We carpool with the youth leaders, who are actually pretty cute for a hetero couple. Inara and I share awkward glances the whole time.

When we get there I learn that Inara took ice skating lessons as a child. She's much more confident than I am, but pretends she doesn't know what she's doing. I skate about once or twice a season, but also rollerblade.

There's a wet, sloped, melty part of the rink. I get nervous and grab her hand. She holds it until we're out of the melted ice.

Every lap around I grab her hand at that point. Eventually, we just keep holding hands for an entire lap.

By the end of the night, we've both fallen a few times but held hands the whole time. We drop her off and I say goodnight.

That night, I rant about the adventure to one of my (ex)friends, who excitedly listens to my talk about holding hands with a girl.

There's a GT Christmas party at Hannah's. Inara and I carpool there. It's an all together boring party with the exception of a few interesting truth-or-dare questions.

(side note, remember Owen? Well he's one of Inara and I's best friends and we were actually close enough that the three of us were basically cuddling on the couch during part of the party. Also the whole class knows about Inara and I's wedding and calls us wives.)

Paislie asks me if I wanted to "marry" Inara before we got "married". I mumble an answer that nobody hears. I don't repeat it. When it's time to leave, Inara and I have our legs intertwined on the couch. We don't mention that, either. We drop her off and I say goodnight.

January is good. There's a night, the 4th I believe, that we really connect. We officially come out to each other for the first time on that night, and it gets really real, really fast.

She says she's pan, I say I'm bi but confused.

In mid January she texts me that she's crying because one of her favorite YouTubers finally hit a million. She cries for hours but never tells me who. I pay it no mind.

A few days later, she mentions a YouTube channel called Unus Annus and tells me that it's super interesting. I text back but don't look it up.

A few more days pass and I'm randomly on the trending page for YouTube, which I never do. I see a video trending called "Mark and Ethan go casket shopping". The thumbnail is interesting enough that I check what the channel is. I notice it's the one Inara told me about.

I watch the video and subscribe within 5 minutes. I text Inara quotes from that video, Ethan Finally Becomes a Man, and the Lie Detector test videos, until she responds and is surprised that I found the channel.

I obsess quickly and depend on her to know the new video at 1pm everyday. She gets annoyed and we drift apart slowly.

In February things get rocky. We fight often. If I win a small argument she doesn't talk to me for hours. She gets pissed at refuses to tell me what the Unus Annus video is called if I ask too many times.

At some point I get fed up and confront her. I don't remember what about, but we stop talking all together.

Friends pick sides. I'm left alone. We don't talk for a month. She tells me that she pushed me away because she thought I'd react badly to her telling me she loves me.

I confess my crush. She tells me she feels the same.

We finally make up at about 8:30 on a Sunday night in March. It's not fixed but we plan to talk. And 9:00, the school district announces that it's shutting down until least after spring break.

We stopped trying to communicate, but eventually, slowly we started talking again. We text a few times a day now, mostly about UA and anxiety, the best combo.

We haven't seen each other since. We're probably going back to school in person in about a month, but I'm not sure. Nobody is.

I've called her my girlfriend on here before, simply because I don't know what we are. I joked the other day about how the youth leaders would react if I said I was texting my girlfriend.

Here's how that went:

So we're just jokingly married for now! It's a confusing pile of garbage but we both came out as lesbians the other day so that's a new development.

I don't know if any of that makes sense but I'll answer any questions anybody has :)

[the-explodin-kittins]

theimperfetc:

spankfuckabuseme:

Oh Tumblr, I have quite the story for you today. I’m back from my break with quite the cautionary tale. My message? Don’t fucking trust people from the internet. I know this, I really do, I’ve been burned by crazies here before. But the sociopaths just keep getting smarter and better at lying. Take this to heart, learn from my mistakes and naivety. Just because it happened to me doesn’t mean it has to happen to you too.

So here’s a tale about how I got catfished on tumblr.

A few months back, I got to know a fellow blogger, @silence-in-submission and her Daddy, @thewolfsdarklair/@kinginthesheets. I was talking with both of them for a bit, but then things got a bit more personal and serious between Wolf and I. We got to know each other, had a lot in common, and started messaging on Kik damn near constantly. He told me he was a single dad, and that his ex walked out when his son was 3 months old and it’s been just him ever since. I’ve never actually trusted anyone on tumblr enough to give them more than a few details about myself, but this slimeball is good at making you trust him and charming the pants off women, myself included. He made himself into the perfect man and played the part well. He used my vulnerable state of going through a divorce to weasel his way into my heart.

BUT! Though shady, this isn’t even the most scandalous part of my tale…yes, I’m a piece of shit man stealer, I’ll own that. But try to keep up, so far we have a tumblr submissive, and a tumblr girlfriend. Girlfriend knows about submissive, submissive does not know about girlfriend. Read on.

Anyways, we start chatting more and more often and he tells me how amazing and special I am, I’m the most incredible woman he’s ever known. I let him into my life enough to show him pics and videos of my son and I. My sweet kiddo blew this monster kisses on FaceTime. He shows me photos and videos of his son and himself. Snuggling on the couch, coaching his sons T-Ball games. Father of the year, swoon! Plays up the single dad card, hard. He messages me nonstop, “good morning beautiful” every morning, phone calls on our commutes to work daily. We had the same favorite bands. We both loved to cook. He told me about his family. His careers. He would message me links to sweet country songs of how he felt about me. My ringtone for him was “Crave You” by Thomas Rhett, I legit bought a damn ringtone for this dickwad because that was “our” song. He would conveniently disappear over weekends, busy with his single dad gig, but in reality he was otherwise occupied.

It was soon, but man I was sure I was in love with this joker. My dumb ass bought a plane ticket to see him, with his enthusiastic blessing. I was supposed to go see and stay with him over Easter weekend. We were both so excited! We could finally be in each other’s arms at last, he said it felt like “I had been his for a lifetime” already. We were going to sight see in his city, cook dinner together and have loads of crazy, kinky sexy. I had a countdown app on my phone counting the days, minutes and seconds until I was with this amazing man. He conveniently disappeared from the face of the earth a few days before and surfaces the afternoon before my flight to tell me he’s out of the country for work and he’s so sorry but I have to cancel my trip. I thought it was odd he flew out of the country without a heads up, but he said it was super last minute and he needed to make arrangements for where his son would stay when he was gone. He was “overseas” for over a week before he told me I would have to cancel my trip. He’s gunna make it up to me 10fold, he misses me, he loves me. Ya know, it was fishy, but shit happens with work. I was devastated and mad he didn’t tell me sooner he was away on work. But here I am, out the better part of $500. He’s “out of the country” for another week and once he’s back, I sent a care package to him and his son of stuff for them. I went to copy and paste the address he gave me and google popped up with the address and it was a commercial building, not a home. Strange. I asked him on the phone why he gave me a fake address, and he casually told me it was the building he worked in. Still strange, why wouldn’t I send it to your house? Oh well. I was so excited to send something from me to him. It was super cute, love letter with cartoon hearts at all. I’m a SUPER thoughtful and romantic person, I went all out asking him if he would be my boyfriend “officially”. I got him stuff from his favorite shows and movies, same with his son, and here I am out more money on this joker. He thought it was super cute, said his son loved the books and he loved the figurines I sent him.

So we plan another trip, two actually. He tells me he’s flying here for the weekend April 26-30th. My son had a brief stay in the hospital due to illness and he was the perfect boyfriend during the whole ordeal, calling while I was at the hospital and cooing “awww poor buddy” when my son would cry. Messaging to make sure we were ok. Everything is going well, we’re released from the hospital and my boyfriend will be here in less than a week! Ahhhh! I just moved to a new house and I’m working on making it presentable and homey for us to nestle up in over the long weekend. I got us tickets to see Infinity War together. We were going to go dancing and I had a babysitter! Yet again, the same as the last trip, he falls off the face of the earth for “work.” This was on Friday the 20th and I have yet to hear from him again and as far as he knows, he thinks I still think he’s planning to come here Thursday and he hasn’t said a word to me! I’m sure he was planning an elaborate work story for this Wednesday to message me with, but I’m sure he will see all of this before then and hopefully not waste his time. We also had plans for me to pick him up from a nearby town May 7th after a work trip that would bring him back this way so soon! I was so lucky, I get to have the man I love sleeping next to me two weeks in a row?! Luckiest girl ever, so spoiled.

But…something just felt…off? the other day. My PTSD from him canceling the last trip was making this past weekend feel eerily familiar. He was off the radar again, I was sick with worry, and I had the impending doom feeling in my gut. Part of me knew there were never any plane tickets.

I had ran a background check on him previously and most things he told me checked out. His age, where he lives, his family members he has mentioned in passing. No marriages or crazy criminal charges listed (but man, 20 was a rough year for you, wasn’t it man?) I missed a small detail the first go around. I missed an eviction suit from last year, with a codefendent listed of the female variety that I was positive wasn’t a family member. Facebook to the rescue, and to my utter dismay, his codefendent was in fact his WIFE since 2015, the MOTHER of his son who supposedly bailed, and they have ANOTHER son who recently turned 1! His wife also may or may not currently be pregnant with number 3, I’m not positive. Oh my. All the happy family photos, I swear to you I threw up where I was at when this news sunk in. The man who said he saw a future with me, saw marriage with me, couldn’t wait for us and our kids (the one I knew about anyways) to all be together at last. We casually discussed me moving to be closer to him in the future if our trips went well. If this would have played out longer, who knows how much of my life I would have ruined for the lies this man told me. But…he already had a happily ever after.

I had been fooled. And not to any fault of my own, other than my naivety. I’m not an idiot, I did my due diligence and did a background check, but one little line on there was missed and I ignored all the little details about him that were sketchy because of the way he made me feel with his words. This man is an expert liar and sociopath. Who knows what shit he spins to his wife to cover his ass with his online affairs. I feel so bad for her. I feel so bad for anyone else he’s involved with. I feel so bad for myself for getting mixed up with this mess. I hate that I didn’t trust my gut when I felt like he was too good to be true, because part of me always knew he was too good to be true. The last photo is the last contact he had with me last Friday, keep in mind he’s supposed to be flying to see me Thursday supposedly. Oh and PLOT TWIST! The child he said he was a single dad to? Send me photos and videos of? I sent him a carepackage? IT’S NOT HIS CHILD. It’s his wives from another man! So he exploited a child that’s NOT EVEN HIS.

Silence, I felt, and still feel dirty, for beginning a relationship with a man who was already in a D/s dynamic, but he said he wanted more with me than that - led me to believe you were just a hobby and I was the real deal. He told me to say the word and you would be gone, that I was “so much more to him than that.” Led me to believe he was slowly breaking things off with you to be with me completely. And I sincerely bought into it, unfortunately. I thought he had told you about me when I sent you those cryptic messages a few weeks ago. I also played along when he sent me fake messages to screenshot to calm you down. The messages telling me to back off from your dynamic in February we’re also fake. I know, I’m an awful bitch for toeing in on your property, but you’ve got to know he played us both the same and I fell for it hook, line and sinker. What I did wasn’t right, I’m sorry, but we’re both victims here and I’m glad I was able to uncover the truth about this piece of shit. It’s not us. There’s nothing wrong with you, beautiful girl, this man is a selfish monster, don’t let this ruin you and for the love of god don’t believe whatever lies he’s going to tell you to keep you around. You can do better. We both can.

My dearest N, you sociopathic anal hemorrhage. I know you thought you were smart, how could this crazy little 20 some girl blow up your spot? You’re alpha, established, educated, and wise. You had it all figured out. There’s no way that your loving B would ever be suspicious of you, because I just LOVED you so extremely, right? All you need is love, baby. Well, love be but a feeling and though I felt it strongly for the person I thought you were, logic and the truth always win. I’m not an idiot, honey, and I fucking figured it out. The lies roll off your tongue like cotton candy. You know all the right things to say. But you can’t talk your way out of this explosion, buddy. I hope the lies and drama were worth the shitstorm you’re about to experience. You say you don’t do drama but my sweet idiot, you ARE drama. I’m sure you can understand why I had to go and message your wife every conversation, detail, photo and video you’ve ever sent me because being a Libra, you’re all about justice, my badass teddy bear. I’m sure you’re tempted to lash out now and try to hurt ME by sharing the intimate pictures and videos I sent to you of myself, but let me remind you that’s called “revenge porn” and given your job, you know that isn’t legal. Every person you cross paths with is either a blessing or a lesson, and though I KNOW my presence is a motherfucking blessing, you’re gunna learn this goddamn lesson today, fuckboy.

So let this be a lesson.

1. Block this dude. Both of his accounts. He’s bad news. There’s good people on tumblr, and we don’t need this sociopath muddying our waters. I’m sure he will resurface with a new blog, but heed this cautionary tale. 2. Don’t ignore red flags because of sweet words. Actions speak louder than words. 3. Don’t meet people from the internet without a background check, and check it thoroughly and use every tool the internet gives you to verify family members and details about the person you’re meeting. A person can be anyone they want to be online, and men like this think they’re invincible. 4. Make someone work hard to earn your heart. Even if someone seems to check all the boxes and seems like your perfect man, if he is, he will earn your heart - you won’t have to give it to him with hesitations, you won’t have to wonder at night when you’ll hear from him next.

I don’t know if this asshole is a prick, a sociopath, a monster, or if he just thinks he’s smarter than everyone else. Well, he’s not. Not for long enough. If you know of this vaguely human-shaped piece of shit, then spread the word. He shouldn’t have contact with anything more than the fucking curb. I expect both his blogs to be gone pretty much right away here, but he’s obviously an addict to this kind of behavior. He’ll be back and looking to get his kicks off of the vulnerable again.

Be careful who you let in this deep, people are more fucked up than you know. If something seems off, look into it harder. And trust your gut. Mine knew something was wrong with this sack of bees with a face, but didn’t step in in time.

@thewolfsdarklair you’re narcissistic enough to be reading this. Fuck you. With a rusty garden rake, in a counterclockwise swirl, in the lemon and salt depository of hell.

#douchecanoe

[etcetezine-blog]

TV Shows That Scarred Me As A Child

LIL_STEPHANIE21

Hey crew, Lil_Stephanie21 here, and this month I thought I’d do something a bit different. Instead of just analyzing 1 piece of media, I’m gonna make a list (sort of) of some things that scared the hell out of me, and ended up scarring me as a child. These aren’t gonna really be in order, so without further ado, let’s get to it!

Magic School Bus Lost in Space

When I was little (like ages 3-7) I LOVED Magic School Bus. Like, that was my s***. I used to pretend to be Arnold, Ralphie, and Keesha (Not sure why just those guys) and would not answer to any other name except the one of the character I chose that day (Magic School Bus kin?). I would watch that show religiously, and none of the episodes really scared me that much, that is, except for the episode titled Lost In Space. The basic rundown of the episode is Arnold decided to bring his annoying cousin from another school along for the class’s field trip into outer space. She's floored by the fact that they're actually in space, so with each planet they go to, she collects tons of rocks. When they finally got to pluto at the end of the episode (Which was still a planet when this episode aired in ’94) The Frizz is like “lol the bus is too heavy to go back to earth unless we get rid of those rocks, we’ll be stuck here :/“ But STUPID JANET (lmao now I know why I hate that name so much) doesn't wanna leave her rocks. Now, this is the part that scared me, you ready? Janet refuses to get on the bus, she's like “I’m gonna stay” but Arnold's like “Hell no! This is what will happen if you stay on Pluto” AND HE TAKES OFF HIS HELMET AND FREEZES!!! TO DEATH!!!! Ok ok, technically Arnold didn’t freeze to death, but I was 4, what did I know? The entire class gets Arnold back on the bus, and at the end of the episode we see he’s perfectly fine, just has a slight cold. Not only did that episode scar little innocent Lil_Stephanie21 for life, it gave me unrealistic expectations on what would happen if I took my helmet off in space. Way to go MSB, you could've killed me if I ever became an astronaut.

Scooby Doo Zombie Island

Something else I loved when I was little (let’s say 4-10 age range) was Scooby Doo. I was in LOVE with that show What’s New Scooby Doo, the two live action movies,  Witch’s Ghost, Alien Invaders, and Zombie Island being my favorite. I’m only gonna talk about Zombie Island today though, because of all of them, that one terrified me the most. For those not aware of the plot, screw you that’s what Wikipedia’s for. But I’ll still tell you. The gang has been separated for I think like a year when they decide to reunite and go on a cross country ghost hunting trip (which I’d love to do irl) where they discover that, as per usual w these guys, all the ghosts and stuff they see are fake. When they get to New Orleans however, they’re invited to this creepy house where, not only are there real ghosts, there are also real zombies, and REAL WERECATS!!! WHAT!?!?! Now, the first time I watched this, I don’t really remember being that scared until the last 20 or so minutes when it’s revealed that the owners of the house they’re staying at have not only been dead for like, 200 years, but are also werecats.I remember sitting there as the credits rolled, being scared out of my mind. I think the part to me that was really scary was the fact that they weren’t just people in masks or something like that, they were seriously real! And they almost killed the gang! I didn’t watch that movie for years afterwards, and to be honest, those werecats still scare me to this day.

Disneyland Sing Along Songs Grim Grinning Ghosts

I’ve always loved Disney and Disneyland, even as a child I attribute this to me watching this VHS tape of the 1990 Disney Sing Along Songs that was taped at Disneyland. I always thought this was super cool because it was like I could go to Disneyland at any time I wanted! I loved this tape, and I remember watching it nonstop. I’m sure all of you know what a Disneyland Sing Along Songs tape is, so I’m not gonna get into it. Just know that it’s just like a regular SALS, except for at Disneyland, so it’s like you’re singing these Disney songs, at Disneyland, with the characters (And a ton of random early 90s kids). So it was super child friendly, except for one of the songs. That song was Grim Grinning Ghosts. I remember the title song for the song coming up on screen and me high tailing it out of the room before I caught even a glimpse of the horror. Even watching it today it’s still scary. It’s basically just the costumed characters of the Big Bad Wolf, Evil Queen from Sleeping Beauty, the old Evil Queen from Snow White, Captain Hook, and, for some reason, Donald Duck in a ghost costume dancing around on the lawn of the Haunted Mansion at night with the spooky trees from Snow White dancing with them and a couple interior shots of the Haunted Mansion. Never failed to scare the hell out of me. I still get goosebumps when I see that title card.

Doctor Who Blink

Alright if you know me in real life, I know you’re thinking “Lil_Stephanie21 you loser! You were in middle school when you were into that show!” And to that I say two things. One, screw you, and two, I was actually in 5th grade when I started watching the show, it just wasn’t till middle school that I got super into it. So I was in fifth grade watching the ending of an episode of Doctor Who, minding my own business, when the credits begin to roll. Doctor Who does this thing where it shows a little preview of the next episode in the credits of the episode you’re watching. When I saw the Weeping Angels, I screamed. I IMMEDIATELY ran to turn off the TV, started crying, and absolutely refused to watch any episodes (there were 3 at the time) containing those horrible creatures. Even now I can barely look at them. I’m not even gonna begin to try and explain the plot of the episode, it’s super unnecessarily complex, but I will explain those guys to you. Ok so the weeping angels are stone angel statues with a twist. They’re normal statues when you first see them, but the second you blink, close your eyes, or turn around, they turn into a horrifying looking angel. At that point they’ll do one of two things. They’ll either send you back in time to any random location with no way to get back to the present, or just snap your neck. Either way you’re pretty much screwed, cause there’s no WAY you can stare at them forever, you know. Also, you’re not supposed to look at them in the eyes, because if you do, they’ll get into eyes and you’ll turn into a weeping angel. The only way to defeat them is by getting two or more to look at each other so they turn to stone permanently. This episode, and others containing the angels, MESSED. ME. UP. If I ever accidentally stumbled onto an image or video of the angels, I’d scroll down as fast as I could so I didn’t accidentally blink. Yeah, it didn’t help that at the end of Blink, the main protagonist of the show, The Doctor, turned directly at the screen to tell you, the viewer, that every single statue in the world was a weeping angel and that no one was safe. What the hell.

Wizards of Waverly Place Wizards Vs Werewolves

WOWP has always been one of my favorite kid shows (I wrote a whole article on it for Pete’s sake!) But there was one episode of it that shook me to my very core. I was 9, almost 10 years old when this episode came out, and I remember watching it on its air date. Man I was pumped. I didn’t get to finish the episode though. Why, you may ask? Because I turned off the tv and started crying. Mason turning into a werewolf was the SCARIEST thing ever to me at the time! And to be honest, it’s still frightening. You’ve got this mild, tame, British kid who suddenly goes beast mode on his gf and his gfs best friend, like? He grows fangs too, and long nails! He growls, he yells, it’s scary. I really don’t have much to say about this episode because it’s part of an arc I don’t really have the time to talk about, but man. I remember laying in bed that night, being scared out of my mind that Mason would somehow get onto my roof, come through my bedroom window, and maul me. To this day, the thought remains in the back of my mind.