#actually i feel love but for some reason i cant love anyone only IRL

[livie-ee]

i hate school sm that it isn't even funny anymore

[minniiaa]

Sorry if this seems repetitive but I haven't been active on social media in yearsss

Is it true that there's a lot of lawlu hate on tiktok and Twitter? I'm so confused because there used to be so much love for the ship back in 2017/2018 from my perspective (Amino era).

The short answer: yes and no. Let me start by saying I'm not the best person to answer this since I purely consume on twitter. I made my personal twitter in 2007 like it's everyone I've ever known irl and has nothing to do with shipping or hobbies and I follow approx 0 accounts related to anime, manga, or lawlu. I just looked up lawlu a few times and browsed and suddenly it's my whole fucking timeline and there’s no going back and now I have a lawlu twitter (This makes me very happy).

So if anyone else has an opinion on this that is more in the community, please feel free to comment away. Otherwise, below are my observations.

First off, there IS a ton of love for the ship. Most of what I see is beautiful art (they got the nsfw ayo), memes, fanfics, and headcanons just like tumblr. There are tons of comments of people swooning over these posts, Lawlu IS one of the most popular OP ships after all.

There's just a vocal minority that are very against the concept of shipping and in that subset there are those who are very against Lawlu. There people out there that will literally list accounts to block that ship lawlu or write lawlu DNI in their bios. The same can be said for other ships, it's not just this one it’s any they deem a ‘pro ship’ (problematic ship) and Lawlu is generally considered one of these. Below as is an example:

The biggest issues I’ve seen with Lawlu are the following 1. luffy is aroace and cant be shipped period 2. law groomed luffy and the age gap is gross. IMO I think most of these people are just infantilizing Luffy as some goofy autistic kid that doesn't know what love and sex are when in reality he's very self-aware and happy does not equal stupid. Also he's 19 he’s not underage. He met Law twice when he was 17, one of which was saving his life as a doctor and Luffy was unconscious most of this time. Let's not forget Luffy's a war criminal kicking the asses of people 4x his age in a pirate world, age doesn't really work the same as irl.

BUTTT Not that any of this matters because you can ship whoever the fuck you what because guess what? It's ~fiction~. I could rant about how people can ship whatever the hell they want all day but I'll save my breath for now. (my opinion of course)

Also there are just mentally ill people who enjoy telling others to kys if you like something they like do. Lawlu shippers are just their chosen target demographic. Creators get foul messages in their inboxes, rude comments, just general hater behavior. Twitter is just a firey cesspool and all fandoms have 'fans' who do nothing but hate. We live in an age of negativity where being a hater is the cool thing to do.

HOWEVER, I see more people posting about why those people are wrong and stupid than the actual negative tweets but maybe that's because I actually support the ship and the algorithm sees that. Not sure how twitter works, nor do I want to know about that dumpster fire there's a reason I came over to tumblr.

As for tiktok, I don't really consume a lot of tiktok so I can't speak on it besides seeing cosplayers and cute animations/art. I'll leave that to the tiktok people to look into.

For argument's sake, I went through the lawlu tag and picked some lovely tweets to share with you so you can see the toxicity for yourself. Sadly only 10 images per post but I think you get the point. Thanks for the ask hope this was informative. :)

[museofthepyre]

do you know what everyones problem with elijah is? Im new to to fandom and im so genuinly confused as to why people seem to like think elijah is the worst (as in evil) character in the series. like i dont think people find him poorly written, they just, dont like him? which is fine yknow like who you like, but then people act like jedediah is a flawed but good character? which confused me a lot since I actually dislike jedediah more, as he just hurts in a more personal way it feels like. Elijah was sweeping Sydney in with promises of love that he hadnt gotten from jedediah, sydney only accepted that because of the way jedediah had been shunning him for years. It really bothers me that people forgive jedediah for his bad behavior, but then crucify elijah for behavior that while yes was very bad, had been hurting syndey way less for way shorter, and the only reason sydney was that vulnerable was because of jedidiah. Im asking because i am genuinly confused and I cant find anyone talking about the why of disliking elijah, i dont know if im missing something because of personal bias (jedidiahs mistakes that hurt sydney hit much closer to home than elijahs) sorry if this is a bit rambly, Im just very disenheartened to see so many people say they hate elijah when I just dont understand why, you dont need to answer this ask btw its mainly just curiousity

I think you kind of touched on the answer a bit already- imo it definitely comes down to what hits closer to home for any given listener. We all have unconscious biases. We all consume media through the lens of our own life experiences, and… ok ramble incoming

Elijah and Jedidiah both think/ behave in ways that are profoundly human, they represent very real concepts (see my whole Jedidiah= unhealthily distant, withdrawn and cold attachment style, and Elijah= unhealthily obsessive, suffocating and intense attachment style rant). These aren’t your typical innately evil villains, they’re just unhealthy people with warped ideas of love. That is an all too common thing to see irl. I think because of that… many of us can relate one or both of them to people we‘ve known in our own lives… alternatively, we can relate them to ourselves. I’ve heard some people say that Elijah’s actions hit a nerve because of past traumas with toxic relationships… aaand I’ve heard people say the exact same thing about Jedidiah! I think Elijah receives more scrutiny because his actions were… well they were actions. Visible, overt, right in front of you. You can point at them, pick a line from the transcript and say “that right there is bad”. Jedidiah’s wrongs often came in the form of neglect and abandonment, an absence of action, that’s so much harder to pinpoint. Maybe he’s slipping under people’s radars? Maybe more people see themselves in him and have a sense of understanding (which is valid, he embodies some very relatable neurodivergent struggles). Maybe it’s because he steps up and works on himself by the end and we don’t see that from Elijah (yet). Maybe people find Elijah “worse” because he reminds them of a more common negative experience, I’m not sure. One could speculate.

I’ll speak personally as an example of what I mean: I am wayyyyyyy more upset by Jedidiah’s actions. And that’s because of… you guessed it… my own personal experiences and how they influence my perception 🎉🎉🎉 I’ve got BPD, and I have an all consuming fear of abandonment. The idea of loving somebody and then having them suddenly withdraw, avoid you, and treat you coldly all the while providing NO EXPLAINATION WHATSOEVER… just leaving you to spiral and pick apart your own behaviours under a microscope, thinking you must be the problem— it’s a major trigger of mine. I’ve lived it!!! I grew up with it!!!!! It hits a huge sore spot for me and I admittedly struggle to overlook that sometimes when I see him.

Conversely, Elijah… I unfortunately connect with in a much deeper way. My own default attachment style is obsessive, intense, and often leaves me tunnel-visioned and unstable (…BPD), and he speaks a language I understand? If that makes sense. I see so much untreated, pre-awareness me in him. I know what it is to be involuntarily engulfed by an all-consuming obsession/ delusion. He doesn’t scare me, because I know what he’s made of- I see what’s beneath it all when I look in the mirror. Or at least that’s the lens through which I interpret him, I’m sure many disagree and yk what? Absolutely valid!!!!

There’s no one correct way to consume media, yada yada you get the idea, CHNT is unique because no character is intentionally malicious or evil (not counting Adam maybe… Lucille you’re on thin ice) and it’s fascinating how there’s such a dichotomy between the love and hate for these two. I may have swayed a bit off topic I just have many thoughts. I might come back with more later.

Ok rant over 🪱

[mischas]

What do you think were the biggest missed opportunities when it came to the OC?

Lol my favorite topic (this is not at all exhaustive)

Not letting Marissa verbalize and process her trauma 1000% forever and ever amen. The show learns by the end of s1 that they can keep hurting her without much recompense. Oliver holds a gun to her head and bamboozles grown ass adults yet she shoulders all of the blame in the aftermath. Christ. Her father MOVES AWAY TO BE A BETTER PARENT BC HE CANT STOP SLEEPING WITH HIS EX? Please. How anyone came up with that and thought that was good writing I will never know. Marissa's SA'ed and nearly r**** by her boyfriend's brother and never says the words out loud or processes it because the shooting looms larger. Disgusting. Back in s1 Luke is more apologetic of his affair than Marissa's own mother is and HE'S the one who has to leave town? which leads me to

Getting rid of Luke made no sense. Instead of making Luke/Julie happen they should've had Luke/Marissa 2.0 happen. There was so much there to mine. Sometimes the show acts like they were a nothing relationship and other times like 109 we see they have deep-rooted love/fondness. Rushing RM (though they're my loves) after their 101-108 slow burn shot them in the foot since they were so uncreative later on. But then again TPTB were so reliant on the actors' mirrored personal lives that I'm convinced if they'd put RM off to s2 they would've butchered them thanks to the irl breakup. (This is still so insane)

Getting rid of Anna also made no sense. She was liked by the gen pop, she had good chemistry with everyone! What a damn waste

Seth/Marissa friendship!!!! It is so cute to think Seth is the one boy in Marissa's life that isn't falling all over her. They share the same music tastes, they have the same favorite book, they grew up privileged + depressed, they're neighbors, they're dating each other's besties, their families have a storied closeness, they've dated the same person, etc. It is SO insane how little they actually interact.

Not exploring the Jimmy/Kirsten dynamic more. I rewatched the pilot a few months ago and the hints to their history are so compelling. I remember thinking their tension was good enough to last several seasons. Cutting that out to uphold the sanctity of SK in s1 ended up being for nothing since s2 messed with SK even worse! So why!

Never utilizing Alan Dale well enough. Not only do they kill him for no reason, his death literally does nothing but give us an iconic coda and funeral scene. That's literally it. Having Caleb around while Kirsten goes to rehab is so much more compelling than having her go after he's died. And making us watch Caleb/Lindsay/Ryan for what seems like half a season is so unbelievably boring and ridiculous. Why are we supposed to care. This is taking away from Kirsten/Caleb material! which brings me to

Never giving Kelly Rowan much to do. What a goddamn waste. She absolutely kills her late s2 arc but then she leaves rehab two minutes into 301 and the Charlotte storyline mostly revolves around Julie. Jesus. People talk about the favoritism going on on that set with the younger actors (as they 1000% should and we should do it more), but there was some serious shit going on with elevating Melinda constantly and shafting Tate/Peter/Kelly forever. Especially Kelly. At least she was there and not essentially let go like Tate was (and Tate was a ~big name~ regular from the pilot!). But you can tell Kelly's got some feelings about how the show went for her and her screentime/importance.

Not cutting the Johnny storyline two minutes into filming 304. They had to know Mischa/Ryan D had no chemistry. We're supposed to believe Marissa's having some sort of emotional affair but there is absolutely nothing showing that to us. It's everyone telling Marissa she's got feelings for him, and Mischa doing her job well enough to convince us it's sketchy/complicated, but they have one (1) conversation in 306 that's mostly about Johnny's father or uncle that no one cares about. which brings me to

WE DONT CARE ABOUT GUEST STARS. stop spending so much valuable time on them. we just wanna see our s1 babes being cute and supporting one another that's literally it

[angelicyouth]

bro i just realized that most of my happinest comes from imagining myself in fictional scenarios with fictional characters because in the real world i dont really have anyone i feel i can truly trust, so really at this point one of my only sources of happiness is just being somewhat delusional thinking fictional people care about me when in reality i dont know if anyone will truly even care about me in that extent, i dont even think i could even love myself the way i want people to love me because i just see myself as a generally displeasing person to be around because im too much too bear or too confusing or too angry and people dont wanna put up with me and ive just been realizng that for the past months and it makes me wish i was someone else who could be better than whoever i am, i dont even know at this point who i really am and i wish i was better and funnier and not someone who is the embodiment of a dissapointment.i cant even bring myself to talk about my problems to people irl no matter how much id like to because im too scared to be a burden or just seem overexaggrerating so its eating me from the inside and i cant bring myself to be someone i want to be, all i do is just stay in my room all day because i dont have the energy to do anything anymore. thing that i used to like dont seem the same anymore and i just wanna be held by someone and to be told that its okay to not be okay but if someone actually did it would feel like just a big lie because i dont have that much of an excuse to not be okay so really im putting down other people's problems and looking for attention and i feel so guilty for even feeling this way but at the same time i dont wanna let go of these feelings because it feels like if i have them people will actually care about me and ill have someone by my side and if i dont feel sad then nobody would have any reason to pity me and nobody would really wanna hangout with me anymore and it feels so comflicting and it makes me wanna shut myself away from everyone and continue to pretend everything is okay even if nothing feels okay. i wish i was someone else, maybe then nothing like this would happen.

that one relatable moment where you have nobody 2 vent 2 so you vent as an anon 2 a random blog ran by the literal nicest person ever

-mango anon

mango bby :(

first of all—i’m proud of you for being honest with your feelings! i’m sure it took a lot of courage to come forward and to talk about this with someone else so please give yourself some self care in my place for taking that monumental step!

i know that it may not mean much if i say this because of how overused this line is but truly, don’t ever feel bad about what you’re feeling. always remember that the need for attention is normal and common to all humans. it’s not only limited to that but the need for comfort is also normal and common, the need for physical touch is normal, the need for validation, for acknowledgment, for a positive reaction to yourself, a need to express yourself, to talk about yourself, to voice your pain, to feel valued and important—it’s all normal and a part of just being a human being.

so please, don’t beat yourself up over having those. if you’re struggling with some of them particularly, it doesn’t mean you’re “needy”. anyone who doesn’t get those things would go to deprivation mode and end up craving them severely, eventually. those needs should be met at default and as your friend, i always want to ensure that i can readily provide those for you! so don’t feel ashamed for voicing those thoughts to me because i appreciate that you trust me enough to tell me as i genuinely want to help you. i know i may seem like a random blog run by someone you don’t know from the internet but that doesn’t mean my friendship for you is less valid. so please, if you ever need to talk to someone or just need me to listen then always remember that i’m here for you. because how else would i know what to help you with if it’s not said?

and i know that you feel delusional for seeking comfort from fictional characters but that’s simply not true. because personally, through my own writing, what these people say or do are essentially extensions of the authors who use them in their literature. so whenever craig and kenny talk to reader in youth, they’re not just baseless things that are said just cause for the plot. they’re actual words with real meaning and intent to whoever is reading their dialogue. so with that in mind, what they both have said is their words of affirmation and reassurance to you:

feelings aren’t illogical. they aren’t wrong nor are they here for no reason. they aren’t a failure of self control, they aren’t a burden, and they are not an inconvenience. emotions are generated from actual things that happened, they are normal reactions to things that actually happened!! if you feel sad, anxious, hurt, overwhelmed, mad, frustrated—even if it seems illogical, there’s a very good reason you feel this way. you aren’t supposed to control how you feel, you aren’t supposed to doubt your emotions. they are always just a reaction, they do not come from you!! they’re not your failure, feeling all this is normal and logical under unbearable circumstances of anything that’s happened.

i hope you will be kinder to yourself babe, you deserve it :< it makes me so, so upset when you can’t see how amazing you are in my eyes and i bet everyone else’s just because of some mistakes you made along the way or any ill feelings you harbor for yourself. i really wish you didn’t beat yourself up so much over them, those mistakes or whatever negative things that have happened don’t define you.

and remember: you’re not stuck the way you are now. every day you have the potential to grow and to learn, and you do grow and learn, all the time! it may not feel like it because it’s so subtle, but you do. the universe won’t let you get stuck, there is so much more to discover and i’ll always be here with you along the way! it’s inevitable to make mistakes, it’s human nature and wouldn’t make sense to be perfect on the get-go. no one is like that. just remember, progress can’t be compared. progress is still progress and slow + steady will still win the race! as long as you’re not changing yourself to cater to someone else’s needs or society’s standards then i will always support your desire to strive for the best version of yourself!!♡

[paintedpineleaf]

there's so much stuff that i dont tell my friends or anyone for that matter (i post some of it on timblr sometimes tho lol) but its literally the dumbest shit ever amd the only reason i cant tell anyone is because it would tell them more about me and if someone knows a lot about me im more likely to be more devastated if they leave.

i tell people atuff after it doesnt matter to me anymore like the shit my mom did/does or whatever.

even if something is like bringing me great happiness i know that im more likely to ramble about and say more dumb shit so i try to conceal it until im more coherent and less excited or wtv about it then i share whatever it is (like when i recently got new running shoes and they were ones i really wanted but didnt expect to find here)

someone feeling anything for me esp with me (like if theyre happy for me or sad for me) is too much for me and i dont know how to deal with it and it makes me uncomfortable so i tend to try to hide it initially. i think ive been alone so long (god that sounds so emo and cliche) that i genuinely dont know how to let anyone in to exist with me or to allow them to love me or enjoy me if that makes sense. it definitely comes from a fear of them eventually leaving after me having given so much of myself to them.

and sometimes i see or think something cool or interesting and i really want to tell my friends and text them about it even if i know they wouldnt like it and i tell them in my head and they react with a haha cool in my head and we move on but i can never actually tell them irl even if its literally the dumbest most meaningless thing ever.

[mekatrio]

gonna play a little itty bitty tiny bit before i wont be able to play for the next um 3-5 days, but before i do my thoughts on the cast so far (am 12 hours in and about to leave heliord to go to dahngrest)

yuri: okkkk so hes kinda tsundere... OKKKK 🤭... well not rly but a little bit. so his character conflict is his pride.. and his aimlessness... he kinda reminds me of zidane tbh! if zidane was less of a goof.. yuri's lack of sincerity is very inchresting.. well not sincerety but more like.. hes not very emotional, like at all. hes a Cool Guy all the way. his conflict w flynn is very interesting too.. i had more thoughts abt him but im currently hungry so i cant recall them.. woops!

estelle: yuri and rita made me feel dumb as hell for not knowing that she was a princess who doesnt need blastia like heyyyy.. i didnt know that.. anyways i love her and i love that shes a book nerd thats very cute 😁 tho ill admit her character is kinda very stereotypical shut-in princess yknow hmm... so ill be seeing what else comes from her character. and im interested in what reason she'll have to continue staying with us.. and she Better stay with us cuz gawddd i need a healer at all times! cuz i SUCK at this combat 😭

repede: i know ur a dog but i hope you'll stop making dog food.... i #Believe that you can make a salisbury steak. i believe in you

karol: MY FRIEND his introduction was kinda random but hes been nothinggg but the most helpful member so far.. except in battle where im still trying to figure out a good strategy for him (he keeps randomly doing nothing agh). but yeah hes my gps buddy... so knowledgable about the world 😁 hes so cute and sweet and his unemployment story is so sadddd.. and #Relatable... i hope he finds employment again soon!

rita: her and estelle are so CUTEEEE together 🥺 i wish they were closer in age just cuz itd be more fitting but ehh 15 and 18 is alright ig. i love how mages are researchers in this world and they can do some computer thingy on blastias... also sidetracking for a sec but im loving how this game is introducing all the blastia shits and the locations of the world, wayyyy better paced than how abyss just threw me in.. grateful for that! back to rita.. i like her too! i like all my party members tbh. shes opening up to estelle more now too which is AWWWWW so very sweet 😭 oh i remembered a thought i had abt yuri. how basically yuri and estelle AND rita will all just throw themselves into danger for the sake of something.. yuri and estelle to protect others, and rita to protect others too but also for the blastia. theyre all crazily selfless 🧐 which made them scolding each other at the inn so ijbol and interesting cuz theyre all so hypocritical lol... telling one another to look after themselves when they arent doing the same 😭 also i like that rita has this very caring and holistic approach to her passion with blastia, abt how it intertwines with people bla bla bla.. very cool!

flynn: INSUFFERABLE GOODY TWO SHOES ohhhh my god this is somebody who irritates me not only fictionally, but also irl if this was an actual persons personality... i really cant stand a person who sticks by the rules 😭 but its very intriguing to me that hes aware that nothing has changed since hes became a captain, and that hes like.. kinda? hoping that yuri, who is not bounded by all this knightly shit, will do something more.. at least thats the vibe im getting. very interested in where thatll go.. also maybe this is an insane reach but he kinda really looks like ioder.. what if that means something 🧐 tho ofc this could also just be how tales of artstyle is w their huge ol googly eyes, and anyone w the same hair and eye color will look alike.. but who knows 🤔

[zero-braincells-left]

wow I like talking. I wasn’t gonna have a keep reading here because i want to force people to see it but then I thought about it for 2 seconds and decided that was shitty

if any of you knew me irl you wouldn’t like me. even if I think I act mostly the same I know it’s different . I shouldn’t have even made it this far i shouldn’t keep friends for this long why does nobody hate me yet why am I still her why does anyone put up with me?? And it’s so stupid I can have everything I don’t even think I deserve but it’s not enough I want more but i already think this is too much too. I don’t know what I’m scared of but it happens every time, it’s supposed to. So it has to again right. of course I don’t want it to because I don’t know who id do. I don’t want to be alone which is stupid because im NOT even at school there’s still people who tolerate me. And im fucking lucky as shit and I have a good family and they love me and they care so what makes losing everyone that’s latched onto this not even that fake online identity (maybe it’s fake but it has not too many differences from me usually. But. Irl feels fake too so idk) so scary? why do I think I wouldn’t live without this when I know damn well I could and would. Fuck why doesn’t it matter how many times I’ve talked about this and how many times I’ve been talked down from this. It always comes back and the stupid ass backwards logic of “if I leave everyone I care about first then they can’t leave me! haha gottem!!” Comes back. and NO!!!! im not doing that!! i cant do that again not after last time. that was horrible and even if im “over it” now that’s probably half the reason im scared. i don’t want that again. And I won’t get that again if i fucking stay quiet, right? But nooooo I love attention that other people deserve and need so so much more than me and I want people to worry about me and i want people to talk to me!! Last time I posted something like this i didnt even mean it that much. Some of it, sure, but.. i just wanted to see if anyone would say anything? and it worked and I feel bad because i didn’t deserve to be comforted for something I didn’t even mean why did I do that. it’s like the coward’s equivalent of suicide baiting since i don’t even have the guts for that. Heh. the only person getting a headache from me is myself (I do in fact have a headache that began maybe a third of the way through what I have typed right now lmao??). This. Isn’t even that serious. if i wanted I could just not post this and delete it from my drafts and go back to being silly because why would I bother making people worry? just for the attention I want? that’s shitty. What’s even worse is that I know people are willing to give it. you really really shouldn’t but haha can you blame me?? I’m just some stupid kid on the internet that’s okay at drawing and writing and has something to give at least so of course you’d like that!! of course you like Zero!!!! would you like the stupid kid behind the screen that does absolutely fucking nothing all day and is laying here crying at the fact that people might actually care about him?? would you like her?? maybe you would. maybe im being dumb right now. But it doesn’t matter because you’ll never know me. and would you want to, if I could? really all I have to show is this silly persona . I want more than that but this is all there is .

[destinyc1020]

Unpopular opinion but I like Kaia😭. I've been in fanbases with white male celebs and their deranged female fanbases.

Despite the pap walks and stuff(all nepo celebs do it, lily rose is a good example lol), she's very supportive and nice. At least he's not dating some very problematic women lile other male celebs, catch Timothee. Her worst crime is shes friends with all these ppl in that industry and isnt that talented, and that is okay lol. More blame on those casting directors than her because they have thebpower to not take her. I like her book club though. You're the only austin fan who depsite being a bit snarky, I dont mind because I'm also a tomdaya fan, and I love your blog😭😭. Also, I know your heart is in the right place. Some Austin fans on this app could give Club Chalamet a run for her money and I cant tolerate hate towards women for a man sorry. Internalised misogyny is so real and sad. Most women are in denial and I can understand if their young but grown adults?

I'd avoid some fans irl. No shade😅

I meannnn...you can like whoever you like Anon lol 😅 You can be a fan of Kaia if you want to. Just don't come in my inbox dragging me (or others) just cuz we don't worship the ground she walks on, or think she's anything all that "special" LOL😅

Most of Austin's fandom is actually pretty tame when it comes to Kaia (or not liking her) if you ask me. I've seen WAAAAY worse in other wm fandoms tbh lol. 🤣

And for the most part, the ones who don't like him dating Kaia, it's usually for several reasons.

Most didn't really like/care for her or the Gerber family like that even before she was dating Austin

Some just don't like Nepobabies period 🤷🏾‍♀️....especially UNtalented ones who keep getting roles even though they suck at acting lol

Others just wish Austin were dating someone closer to his own age 🤷🏾‍♀️

Some fans just feel like Kaustin is weird and seems a bit contrived on some level....maybe due to the whole Gerber clan, or some of her other relationships.

And lastly, some fans feel like his relationship/Kaia tends to crowd his work and career life, and that everything gets made into something about Kaia even when he's just trying to promote his movie, and some fans just don't like that.

And then of course, there are SOME fans who just don't like Austin dating ANY woman because they're just jealous fangirls lol 😅 (those tend to be VERY few though) Most of us Austin fans are used to him NOT being single, and don't have a problem with him dating someone (most of us were around when he was dating V for like nearly a decade lol, so we're used to him being in a very SERIOUS relationship with someone)

Also, I just want to add, that SOME fans don't feel like Kaia is 100% "unproblematic". Some fans didn't like her posts supporting Israel during the Gaza/Israel conflict. Others have also noted that she hangs with Camila Morrone very closely, and some have said that Camila has said some racist things online. I'm not sure how true that last part is, but that's just what I've heard. 🤷🏾‍♀️

But you're def free to like whoever you want to like Anon!😊 I don't judge if anyone wants to like a certain celebrity on here.

I don't hate Kaia at all, there are just certain things about her that I just give the side-eye to and she's just meh/kinda phony to me at times. But even despite her bad acting, her privileged upbringing, or their weird Kaustin relationship, as long AUSTIN is happy, then I'm fine! 🥰

[wanderrlust0]

if youre gonna be happy with me one day and then dry the next day, so be it. ill just match your energy and be dry to you back bc wth

why am i trying to ignore the fact and pretend like its nothing. its. annoying. and theres no reason for it and its unfair that he always gets this way. just bc his ex could cheat, he could cheat, anyone else could cheat, doesnt mean i will automatically cheat as well. why am i always being treated by him like i already cheated and hes already accusing me of stuff thats never even happened nor will it, whenever i hang out with my friend that he doesnt like for NO solid reason. its only his gut feelings and his anxiety plus his outside perspective that my friend is this like crazy, terrible, home wrecker person he believes they are. like why do i feel like he just doesnt like any of my friends sometimes. but this specific friend he says he like hates. like dude first of all, thats such a strong word, you can chill out. secondly, youre the only one whos hating here. my friend doesnt hate you. and hes like “well she has no reason to”. i shouldve said yeah and you have no reason to hate them either. my friend has def shared their opinions on him bc of some of the annoying stuff hes done!!..lol bc yes ive vented to them ofc since theyre my friend, but my friend does not HATE him. theyre happy for me and him and how i was able to find someone for me and stay together for this long (5 yrs with him!!!). he claims he “believes” me and “trusts me” EVERY TIME THIS HAPPENS but then he just resorts back to being uncaring and distant like ??!?! helloooo wheres the caring, loving, funny, bf i fell in love with wtf that just made me cry omg. like you say you trust me then show me and dont stop. why does he have so much doubt in me. not to sound insensitive but he neeeeds to get pasttttt thisss alreadyyy. i kind of told him that its gonna become like so draining if this keeps happening anytime i wanna hang out with this friend and its gonna take a toll on our relationship in the long run. like will he EVER, EVER get over it.. is he really gonna “hate” my friend forever. like can we just figure something out, anything, and do whatever it takes so he can change his perspective of my friend and see that they are def not a threat?! i brought up the idea of meeting again and if that will actually help him to see this person clearer and get his own impression first hand so he can understand and not just go off of his own ideas. he said yes maybe it will but that itll partly feel like a laugh in the face and i was like what?? wdym and he was like well on the off chance that you two DO end up doing things then its like a laugh in the face or whatever. im like seriouslyy. i already told him a million gazillion trillion times that we have NEVER got romantic with each other. right from the start, when we started talking it was in a friendly way and over time we became more comfortable when talking and thats how we became closer. me and him bumping into this friend at the mall coincidently before meeting irl was NOT the problem. we were ALREADY talking about hanging out for the first time. he said it feels like i would choose this friend over him if he were to walk away and i was like okay you cant give me an ultimatum like that and he was like im not! but it feels that way! i tell him i love him and MULTIPLE times he’ll be like “you better!” in a playful but serious way. like do you reallyyy seriouslyyy think that i dont?!? and last time he said that (a few days ago) i was like well do YOU love me?? and he continued to joke around and was like no no i dont love you im like omg stop lying and he stopped. i found out that his defense mechanism is that when he gets in these moods and mindset when im hanging out with my friend, he tells himself to not care about me as much bc if his fears come true then he wont feel as hurt bc he already stepped back. IT MAKES SENSE BUT ITS ALSO LIKE WHY DOES HE HAVE TO ASSUME IM DOING STUFF ALREADY LIKE WHEN WILL YOU HEAL YOUR TRAUMAS FROM YOUR EX D; WEVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 5 YRS. he was with his ex for like a year! i am not her. i will never do what she did.

[veggiefritterz]

i have words to say. if you know me irl either dont read this or just dont mention it to me. everyone else go ham but dont say i didnt warn you

i just cant. its both that simple and far more complicated. i dont know what or how to feel. i dont know why i feel anything.

i cant just stop talking to people because i always have something i want to say, so just know if i vanish one day odds are im full on dead/in a hospital somewhere.

i dont want to think about the future, its unlikely and uncertain. do i have a future? not at this rate. its too hard to fucking think for me to learn anything.

i do not think i will finish highschool at this rate. if i do it will be with low low marks. and i will be a faliure. so i have less than two years to prepare for that.

i was smart in prep, why couldn't that continue past year 6?

i know why, actually. theres probably a few reasons. one of thems the (until recently, undiagnosed) autism.

the other reason is her.

i fucking hate her. i genuinely hope she dies. i tried to strangle her once. it was both fun and not at the same time, if that makes sense.

before you judge me for attemped murder that i have not been charged with please know that it was rather called for.

because she fucking. i dont know. ill use my big boy words. it'll be hard for me to do but honestly what does it matter, im already fucking upset.

this is your big old warning for s/a. will mark off section end with more red text.

fucking hell i feel sick. seriously sick. but uts like this every time i remember. like my stomachs burning. and i can tell im on the verge of tears, too. or maybe im just really fucking tired.

she essentially sexually abused me for about a year. give or take a month or two, i cant fucking remember. theres things i havent told anyone about, and never will.

i think i want to try and describe it. youre not obligated to read it, so. dont do that if its going to upset you.

october 31st, 2020 hardly counts as anything in my opinion. but it still feels gross. she decided that an appropriate game for her to play was "truth or dare but if you dont wanna do it you strip". these are twelve year olds at the time, mind you. so she had her boyfriend on the phone, on a video call, and did that. i, naturally, was obligated to engage. i did not enjoy it. i said plenty that i dont wanna but you know, i was fucking stupid. i let her convince me. I couldve walked home.

the second time i dont havs a date for, but it was mid november 2020. we were on a school camp. the entire thing sucked, i had terrible hayfever one day and was declined medicine for several hours. they also tried to feed us meat wrapped in bread that was then deep fried. thats not really relevent. moving on from shit camp food. while i was trying to go to bed (note. my bunk ladder was in the back corner of the room) she managed to (mostly undressed for her, as in just her undies. not to be graphic but thats how it is) she managed to pin me in the corner. she was a few inches taller than me, so i could hardly just move. i can only vaguely remember beyond that. it wasnt bad bad that time.

there were other people in the room for part of it. they dont remember. i havent said anything because i dont want them to feel to blame. but holy shit. why didnt they do anything.

then theres very early december 2020. this one was just. yeah. the one, i guess. the big bad or something.

(side note if my phrasing disintegrates its because yours truly is having some kind of intense anxiety attack. i think. either way i would love to kill myself right about now. whatever. but its really vivid in my mind right now so i might as well put it down.)

i just dunno. how do i even put this, really. she uh. okay. if someones wearing lovely thin cotton pyjamas lets not ruin the fabric for them, for starters. i liked those pyjamas. its a real shame. i just fucking cant.

she just. yeah. i dont think i even have to say. she did stuff, she made me do stuff, all while i made it perfectly obvious how unhappy i was. i couldnt do anything about it, much as i wish i couldve. because im too pathetic to fight. i basically froze up. she held my head down. so that i had to do it. i didnt say that was okay. i didnt say any of it was omay.

and to the other person who was there, i dont blame you. you were thirteen. you couldn't have done anything. besides, i think you were playing BATIM so like. beat those ink demons (i havent played bendy).

i didnt sleep that night. until about 3 in the morning. i dont know man.

she "tried" to kill herself the next night. i use quotations because im fully convinced she was manipulating me. she said she felt bad and couldnt live with herself. so why do it again, huh? she fucking lied to me, didnt she. im gonna be honest im just realising this and im so fucking mad. i contacted her mother to make sure she was okay.

theres more examples. just smaller things like publicly grabbing my tits in front of a group of people encouraging her to do so but theyre just numbers now. numbers and occasionally vivid memories. including shit like trying to fuck me in a school bathroom. more than once mind you.

i also fucking hate the girl who decided to be all touchy in the middle of class and i couldn't move where i was sat because it was a partners activity and we were paired up. but eh, she just generally sucks. its whatever.

end section you are safe (?) from here or something

even if you didnt read that section. its just long okay. so damned long. im so done.

look at me. or dont. i actually look like shit. if i had facial hair id be classed as a Wet Cat™. i kinda wish i was tbh... wild. i havent washed my hair in a couple weeks, havent brushed it is i think three days. i have not showered properly because i dont have the fucking energy. its one of those bath-shower hybrids and i turn the water up high and lie down in it because i cant even find the energy to fucking sit up. i havent brushed my teeth in days, maybe weeks, i cant remember. it doesnt matter if i take my meds or not. yet i still apparently "look nice" or something but people lie all the time.

the main reason i cut my hair so short is because i cant fucking maintain it. believe me, i wanted it long. i wanted to plait it and feel pretty. but i just couldn't. i didnt brush it or wash it, i pulled it out, like always. so now i have a mullet and theyre notoriously shit in my town dare i say whole country so noone seems to care.

i think the only times ive slept well recently are after being incredibly drunk. which is concerning. i mean. im sixteen, i know i shouldnt be drunk ever, but if it works, it works. i think i sleep on average about 6 or 7 hours a night, which is not necessarily bad, but its all just fucking abstract nightmares.

at least i dont vape though. thats a win. i have before, do not recommend, very yuk burnt my lungs i think. real talk though if you do i feel ya man everyone does something they shouldn't.

lore drop or something, tumblr user veggiefritters got soft-expelled once! i was suspended forever! all i did was physically fight a few teachers and another student. but she deserved it. and so did they, i daresay.

what did i do after that day? i rode home like usual. i went to my sisters room (she doesnt live here so i slept in there while my old room was being renovated to a lounge room) and i watched youtube until my dad got called by school. then i talked to him. it sucked. then i ate a few nuggets for dinner and tried to kill myself. then, upon that failing, i went to sleep.

i didnt go to school for two months. like. i wasnt enrolled anywhere. family law or some shit, my parents need to hurry up and divorce.

i went to a new school, it was fine, fine, fine, then it wasn't, so i left. i went to a new school, its still fine, thats irrelevant. besides, i have to go there. only public 11/12 school in the town.

but you know what? nothings fine. nothings okay. i just want to be okay, you know? i just want to be innocent. i don't want the past to be the way it is. i with i remembered it all, because while some might say its good that i dont? its terrifying to not know for sure whats happened to you.

i dont like smelling something specific and remembering shit like the eevee themed lunch we made, or the pancakes we made in a saucepan, or the time we tried to solve cicada 3301 for the hell of it. i dont want to sound bittersweet, i dont want to sound like i miss it, but i do, in some weird way.

even though it was clearly manipulation i miss the way she trusted me.

its probably my fault, too, i shouldnt be such an easy target.

if like to tell all of this to my cousin, because i know he'd listen. i know he wouldnt laugh at me. but how does one go about that? i guess i cant. whatever.

shit, man. i dont even know. i went i think a year s/h free? and i was so damn proud of myself. then i dont know what happened. i just broke. and im still not better.

i just think to myself maybe this will be the one that kills me. maybe this one will hit an artery and i can just fucking die.

in my mind, dying feels okay if its on accident. but im seriously considering it at this point because what the fuck else am i meant to do man. im wandering around aimlessly in my own head most of the time. hardly even thinking, just trying to will myself out of existence.

im nothing more than a fucking marionette and whoevers pulling the strings is a sadist.

theres your obligatory shit poetry. i should get that printed on a cap.

ive just moved slightly wrong and its like im tearing my own skin apart. yeow.

ive been writing this at least an hour, i think ive used up 20% of my phones charge! but thats irrelevant. i dont use my pjone much, contrary to peoples belief. i rot my mind with The Computer instead. sometimes the little screen hurts and i need the big screen.

im sorry this is so long. i have a lot of thoughts going on tonight. have a break with a photo of my cat before i keep sobbing. or 4 i guess lucky you. this is shego shes one and shes a little shit. the ants got to her food so she ate them. she refuses to let me take a nice picture of her.

cats, man.

back to me literally crying now.

im scared. im scared of the future but thats common so it doesn't matter. im scared of the past but thats irrelevant. im scared right now because im in bed and its dark so there might be someone there that i cant see.

im scared people will socially exile me again for the things i like, im scared i dont really know any of my friends, im scared ill make a mistake big enough to get me in prison even though technically i already have a few times and nothing happened, im scared people hate me as much as i hate myself.

and fuck, do i hate myself.

what am i good for? i guess people like my writing but what if theyre making that up. sometimes i like my writing too and i go batshit insane over my own characters. but it feels so selfish, i guess.

(i intrude upon myself. i would like a scone right about now)

anyway. what else do i do that people like. im in charge of kids clothing visual merchandising at work. i work in a second hand store, the options for outfits are many. but i dont know. im the youngest person who works there, so what if theyre lying to me?

im creative, apparently. hey, sure, id like to tell myself that but i dunno if i can. i really think i peaked in year two with that.

what have i got about me that people like so much they want to talk to me, because i know damn well its not my appearance. i am fucking ugly. in a weird way. not that my eyes are too far apart or anything i just look dead.

i dont know. i need to let myself live life to the fullest or something but i cant.

i cant just live. its weird.i want to be alive but at the same time its tiring, too tiring, and i dont know what to do about it other that just give in.

you know. give up, and die. how is irrelevant. im so fucking tired, okay.

i dunno. i guess i wonder if anyone would really miss me if i died. but it feels like a selfish thing to wonder. im not sure.

if you want me at my weakest and you want to make me suffer, its your time to shine because right now i am at the lowest ive been in a while.

[the-ark-awaits]

.

man ive been thinkin about it a lot lately but like. man i really just. dont have actual friends.

like i mean i have friends, obviously, and i love them dearly but like. im not a first choice friend. im not actually in any friend groups myself, im like. a weird little tack on at the end. i feel very much like a third wheel, but for friendgroups. kinda like a pity addition. cause im never like. no one comes to me first. they go to the closer friends first and then to me.

and then like, its the same irl, my only like, actual close friend is out at college and we're growing apart bc of that, and then online all my friendgroups are just other groups i joined on accident and then fell away from bc i didnt fit. and its not liike i hav like. real positive qualities. like im nice enough but im not really funny, i have kinda shitty impulse control, im not really creative, i dont have much i can ever really add to a conversation that isnt me just repeating something i read or heard

i dont blame anyone for it, its more than understandable, but its like. idk. its a dumb thing to feel upset about. like i dont need to be added to everything, i dont wanna be, esp not out of pity, but its nice to be thought about.

and then, unrelated, but. i feel very... ignored? by one person in specific (if youre reading this for some reason ambrose, not you, i know you worry about that stuff) which like. sucks.

all the stuff im in rn is basically dead, and i cant revive any of them bc i have no talents so its like :/

idk. shit sucks. and then kinda on top of all the other shit, i turn 21 on the 20th and bc of all the other november birthdays every year and me not really being an active person or a priority friend i kinda just get overlooked. and like, thinking back, i cant really think of a birthday where i had friends show up. like i had ones as a kid where my classmates showed up, but thats different, yknow. maybe thats why i stopped bothering having parties.

[rrelationshipadvice]

i think im in love with my friend, and i confessed about a year ago and they don't reciprocate, which i understand, esp bc theyre aro. we're still friends and i care about them a lot, and i miss them a lot since they had to move even further away than before and are going through a lot, and we dont talk as much as before. i try to offer my support as best as i can but they know i am also mentally fragile so they dont open up to me as much (at least i think thats the reason)

im so touch starved i think, and i wanted really hard at one point to be more physically intimate/close with them, i always asked about if they were uncomfortable before and after we hung out, usually i leaned on them or put my head on their shoulder, sometimes hugged or tried to cuddle or hold them, and they always said it was fine, but it also seemed like they were shying away sometimes and not initiating stuff and i was really confused so i kept asking about it, and i think i scared them off by trying to seek this closeness or by asking about it so much instead of letting it happen naturally… they said they realize they arent really comfortable being super physical with anyone so i stopped trying that. they still initate physical contact like tight hugs when we see each other after a long while and putting their head on my shoulder so i feel like its ok if i do the same back sometimes but i dont try to seek it out specifically that much anymore bc i dont understand what theyre okay with really… they dont seem to mind me telling them theyre hot and losing my shit at their preformances, they call me hot sometimes too or appreciate how i look. they have talked about sex and sexual stuff and specifically didnt call themselves ace in a situation where others (including me) were pointed out to be ace so i think theyre not? and they talk about both fictional and irl hot men and sex and sexy fics and stuff. ive been thinking im ace for a while bc ive never really had specific sexual feelings for real people before(only for fictional characters, or like getting turned on when reading fics of a ship i love). but now ive been imagining myself doing stuff with them(so obvious im a virgin too lmao idk how to talk about sex) and i cant tell if im like. Actually experiencing these feelings or if im so attached to them im trying to imagine any possible configuration of a closer relationship to them…

and i keep imagining talking to them about it all and them agreeing to be in a fwb situation or queerplatonic relationship or something… they were okay for a bit with calling us queerplatonic or partners or (fandom term) for very close friends, but we stopped bc they felt it put too much like. pressure on our relationship to be Something and follow certain idk behaviours, and i assume it was because of the closeness i desired too probably then...

so i dont think it would ever happen really, after that, esp since i dont seem like their type, and i think they think im super asexual because i feel relatively uncomfortable casually talking about sex bc im so inexperienced… and also bc im 22 and theyre 19 and internet bullshit has made me feel predatory for a lot of things. i often feel bad or gross even imagining things with them or even being attracted to them because of that. sigh why is shit so complicated :/

ig i dont really have a specific question for advice, really just wanted to share this with Someone bc i dont feel like i can. but if anyone has advice or can emphatize or uncover some nifty aro/ace stuff i dont know of yet bc i havent done enough research id appreciate it lmao, ty for this blog <3

.

[thedeathwitchescats]

I just cant tell my irl friends how Im doing anymore. Not bc they wont listen, but bc on this fucked up journey I call healing, I was forced to accept that they care about me. And now knowing that I cant let them care about me and also know whats wrong. I cant tell my best friend that I want to rip my fucking skin off sometimes bc randomly I remember things and all of a sudden I am having flashbacks to really fucked up shit. I cant tell my boyfriend that hearing certain pet names makes me want to cry. I cant tell anyone who unbelievably anxious I am that one day someone I love is gonna leave again. I cant tell anyone that I am not over a lot of shit and I cant tell them that I dont think I am ever gonna get over shit. I just cant talk about a lot of things with the people I love and I dont know what to do about that. I cant tell anyone about the anxiety that itches along my skin and eats away at my mind because I have accepted that their going to care. The people that I love are going to care. And I cant do shit about thst bc I cant tell tjem not to care bc if they were to say that to me I would care more. But thats the thing, I care to the extent that I have just accepted that if you are someone I love and adore, I am willing to fuck people up for you. I am willing to hurt people. I am willing to kill people. I am willing to do shit I should not be willing to do for those that I love. And I have had to accept that I am not the only person like that and that it is perfectly rational that some of the people I am around would also be that way. And I just, dont, know what to do about that I guess. Like, I just simply cant let people i love know what pain I am in. I am in pain and that has to just be my problem.

So instead I am just gonna rapid fire list off the shit on my head recently

1) I feel actually disgusted by the amount of people I have dated. I only fucked two ((ish)) of them so slay there I guess but still it disturbs me. It makes me hate myself so fucking much and I cry every time I think about it

2) I have never left a friendship or relationship on good terms. And I hate that.

3) no one in my family is a good person but none of them are all bad either. My grandmother is an abusive bitch, but she stood in the freezing cold for hours on end many many times to keep her kids fed. She got kicked out of a function thrown in her honor defending me. But she has also hurt me in more ways than one and left scars I can never heal. My mother has beat me, belitted me, and made me feel worthless my entire life. But she is also the first person I call when shit hits the fan bc I know she will be there to save me. My grandpa is my rock. But he is the reason my grandma had to stand out in the freezing cold, bc he was cheating on her. No one in my family is a good person but no one is all bad either

4) I dont remember enough of some things to actually know what happened. I dont remember large gaps of my childhood yea, but I also just dont remember kther things that are really important. And it makes me sick wkth anxiety

5) I jump to the worst conclusions about things. If someone tells me their upset I am half way to putting them on suicide watch bc idk whats gonna happen

6) I thought my best friend was dead for four months and when I found out he was still alive everyone expected me to get the fuck over that as though him being dead didnt impact a large portion of my personality and who i am and really emotionally fucked me up. Also finding out he was alive destroyed my trust in everything including my own religion and faith for a hot minute and I am still not completely trusting of anything again

Yea thats all I can think of atm but eieieie loll

[silverechosandblankmasks]

Platonic Polyam Bench Trio Marriage AU

You guys asked, so here I am to deliver! Platonic Polyam Bench Trio marriage au where Tommy marries into Tubbo’s and Ranboo’s platonic marriage. (focus on Tommy lol)

NOTE; These are about the c!characters and not the irl people, and I'm writing this like a poly queerplatonic relationship okay? None of this is intended to be romantic or anything else and anything that is in this list is PLATONIC INTENTIONS ONLY

Edit; Now called the Bench Husbands Au

-It kinda all kicks off when about a week or so after Tommy gets out of Prison. (Note, nothing after the first stream after Tommy gets out is canon in this au, as well as some things before)

-Tubbo and Tommy finally have a small fight and argument, before talking, like really talking and Tubbo invite Tommy to come live with them in the mansion in snowchester once its done.

-Tommy doesn't really want to... but he’s tired and lonely and still scared to death and Tubbo promises he’s safe with them, plus if they lived together they could plan on how to kill Dream easier as well.

-Ranboo doesn't mind but after that he tries to go talk to tommy more, but Tommy isnt... the most receptive? Tommy is suffering still and is feeling very replaced and lonely, but doesn't excuse his kinda snippy behavior with Ranboo

-This finally comes to ahead when Ranboo snaps and calls him out, leading to another small fight, before Tommy apologizes and they also talk. This one is more in depth though and Tommy talks about what happened in exile, in the prison, and just general shitty stuff that's being going on. 

-Ranboo, in turn, talks to him about the voices and Dream’s voice and the sleepwalking and Tommy is very much more concerned about them then anyone else he told was, and validates the fear about it, and resolves to help Ranboo get rid of it somehow.

-After this, and both trying to convince the other they should tell Tubbo, that they both probably need to tell Tubbo. They want to keep him safe and not worry him, but... they both need help in different ways and they both love him enough to not do that to him.

-The night ends with lots of tears, Tubbo admitting his own traumas and tears and what he’s been not saying, and a promise to help each other.

-Its not a while after that actually Ranboo brings up the idea of adding Tommy to their marriage. He can tell the blond is struggling with feeling replaced and low-self esteem, and it would help him feel more equal and loved maybe? Tubbo thinks its a great idea and they go to ask Tommy.

-Tommy’s pretty uppity at first, he believes its just them pitying him and treating him like glass again, which he hates more then anything, but after they calm him down and explain they just want him to feel equal and that they both actually cared for him and wanted him to join in on their thing, he’s more contemplative. Ranboo nervously throws in a few other points, like how for legal reasons it could benefit him like it was for them, their allies had to leave him alone, plus Tubbo only started making his own hotel becuase he wanted Tommy to start interacting with him again, and-

-At this point Tommy just, interrupts and says yes, surprising them. They didn't exactly think he’d say no, but they thought it would be harder then that. He laughs at their expressions and says why not? Plus it stood to reason they’d want Tommy, everyone wanted Tommy.

-Ranboo and Tubbo exchange a look before bullying their now platonic fiancée. They agree to get married as soon as the Mansion is done, and till then Tommy can finish packing his stuff and a few other things he wanted to do.

-Also Tommy is totally not avoiding Michael because every pet he ever got close to has died and he doesn't want to get attached and risk Tubbo and Ranboo losing something they cared about because of him, no siree, why wouldn't you think that?

-Speaking of Michael!

-Its not all that strange to keep undead mobs like Zombie piglins as pets, in fact Zombie Piglins are the probably better undead mob to keep around due to their mostly passiveness if you want a pet and the fact they don't need much to eat and wont really be harmed if out leave them alone for long periods of time

-Though Tommy kinda thinks Tubbo and Ranboo’s insist on treating him like their child is weird, but he’s willing to let them have it, clearly it made them happy to play around

-Isn't until he finally moves in that he realizes that Michael is different then other zombie piglins and finds himself being pulled into the parent dynamic as well

-Though now that he thinks about it, something about Michael seems off… welp it's probably nothing :)

-When the mansion is done, he tears down the dirt shack and makes it a community garden and it becomes one of the only things that stays free of the red vines (who knew watering it with water from the holy land would make it untouchable? It's thanks to this garden later others figure out how to defeat the egg)

-They elect to not have a ceremony, not now at least but Tommy actually thinks a small wedding party would be fun at a later date. Ranboo doesn't mind much if they have one or not but Tubbo is actually very excited about planning it.

-Tommy wears his ring on a necklace most of the time, but occasionally wears it on his fingers, usually when he needs something to fiddle with.

-Ranboo wears his on his tail (the area right before to fluffy part) normally but also wears it on his finger sometimes when he feels like it. (If your version has horns, he also does that too) it just really depends on what he’s feeling and if he’s forgotten where he put it. He also like, never takes it off unless to move it around because he’s afraid to lose it.

-Tubbo wears his as an actual ring on his finger (though if he has horns, sometimes he puts it on one of em if he needs the ring to be off his hand.) Tubbo learned the hard way when building nukes or other machinery (since, if you can believe it, his husbands aren’t that comfortable with the nukes as he is) you can't wield or do high heat stuff while wearing metal and nearly lost his finger. He’s very lucky and he has a small scar from it.

-Each of them have their own rooms so they can have their own space and somewhere to go if they want time to themselves/store their stuff in, but there is a 4th room (directly across from Michaels) where they share and tend to curl up to sleep together. About 5 out of 7 days of the week, some combo of them are cuddling together at night, more if they're having a bad day or nightmares.

-There's multiple bathrooms in the mansion but there's one they all like the best and will fight over it/race to get into it first before the others and the other two will stalk off salty to use a different one

-They're all pretty tactile people but out of them, Tommy is the most tactile (once the fear of being hurt recess he practically attaches himself to the others) and Ranboo is the least (he won't seek out comfort and touch as much as the others unless he needs it, but is the best at telling when the other two need touch or need to be left alone) and Tubbo is in the middle of that.

-Tommy is the one that cooks most of the time, Ranboo is banned from it after The Incident and while Tubbo is okay at cooking, Tommy just knows more recipes and how to make things taste really good.

-Tommy picked up sewing from when he was a kid, even before he was found by Wilbur and adopted by Phil, it was useful to be able to patch the rags he called clothes, and just ended up continuing because his brothers and dad sucked at sewing. It then morphed into full tailoring because he found it relaxing and liked being able to make his own clothes. He can and will be insulted if anyone wears anything he deems ‘ugly’, especially his new husbands. He makes them clothes all the time, specially Michael.

-In fact he also cleans the most, he just gets bored and while he makes a mess, if the house gets to a certain point he gets really uncomfortable and overstimulated, so he cleans.

-DomesticInnit? In my au? More likely then you think!

-Gradually the whole ���watching the prison’ and ‘planning to kill Dream’ starts to fade as he gets back into the groove of living again and therapy. He’s just… tired of Dream having a hold on everything Tommy does, he’s sick of it. So… he just tries to live these days one step at a time. (Healing arc baby! Dream can die mad UwU)

-Tommy dragged them both to Therapy with him after a while.

-Because of this he finds himself home a lot with Michael, especially if the other two are busy. They’ve pretty much decided that someone has to be home with Michael at all times, which is now 100% more doable with the 3 of them, and Puffy or Foolish babysit if there’s ever time they can't.

-Tommy is a lot less of a hovering helicopter parent then the others and was the one to finally convince them Michael cant live trapped in a room. Yes, they were all worried for his safety but… you can't raise a kid in a cell, even if it's a nice one. Tommy takes Michael out more

-Tommy started to sleep walking again once they moved in and he still gravitates towards water for some reason. Nothing more startling then waking up because you plunged into frigid below 0 temp water while sleepwalking. Ranboo also enderwalks/sleepwalks more as well and there've been some nights where Tubbo has had to track them both sleepily walking around and make sure they don't hurt themselves or drown or something. At least Ranboo is semi-aware when enderwalking and normally just does weird ender things, Tommy likes to apparently walk into oceans or climb the mansion and nearly fall off and wander hundreds of blocks away. Tubbo’s not salty at all, really.

-Sapnap, Quackity, and Karl are 100% salty the benchtrio got platonically married before they got married

-They fight about last names all the time despite none of them actally taking eachothers last name, and if they happen to pick and choose on which one they’re feeling based on mood, well they can do what they want!

-However its agreed Michael’s last name is hyphenated so he’s now ‘Michael Beloved-Underscore-Innit’

These are all I have for now, feel free to ask about it or use my ideas! <3

[organic-guacamole]

episode 210 here we go

awww seb doing the intro

congratulations to milky white and her baby chocolate milk😌

seb is so funny

but seriously, clean up that milk fast or else it will smell so bad in there....

was that Lauryn just randomly doing cartwheels? idk any theatre kids irl but that seems like it's a common thing...

is it just me or has ms Jenn been getting more harsh to Ricky and Seb mainly-

like what did they do to her

no because I actually snorted with laughter at the "you came back" WHAT IS THAT VOICE-

AND THE MASK OMG

yeah so my throat hurts now

I'm dying over here

KOURTNEY'S FACE

SAME GIRL SAME

Ricky's fake death got the whole place in tears /s

he looks like an asthmatic walrus

Seb's on piano, I love

we all know if he was the beast we'd all actually be crying✋

ok but I listen to Julia's version of home on Spotify when I want to cry-

right so gimme a second

is Ricky scratching his face.....while he's dying?

"belle i-" *flop*

round of applause to Ashlyn for trying to make Ricky's earthworm seizure look less.... yknow

Kourtney's just dying there

WAIT IS THAT NATALIE

did she really just disappear for 9 episodes just to come back and stare dramatically into the camera

WAIT SCRATCH THAT SHES HERE TO MURDER ASHLYN AND RICKY

oh so Ricky's wearing a gay shirt now too

so that's the real reason why Rini broke up, see y'all next season when Gini and caswen become canon /j

wait that was a long intro scene-

what was that look Carlos-

TALK TO MY BOY OR ELSE

carlos' run is so funny to me

therapist Ashlyn to the rescue

"that is...super" son you good?

ms Jenn call Benjamin, he would willingly put his loved ones on a rocket and blast them into Venus for you....

maybe

"I don't want you kids to be disappointed" girl you do realise you're the one that's most invested in this?

"a smooth opening night" wasn't there just 1 show though-

like their opening night was closing night too

"I think I was Troy at one point" PLEASE THATS THE MOST ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF THE SEASON 1 FINALE

me Jenn looks like a serial killer during that clap and I'm lowkey scared for zacky

"I have notes"

oo if you're taking suggestions, lemme get my list

"mother is freaking out" uhhhhhh

right....'mother"

"is everyone sitting down?"

*looks around awkwardly*

*big red slowly sits*

"no..."

please seb was the only one sitting-

does that mean Carlos looked at Seb as soon as he walked in and assumed that everyone else was sitting too or am I a seblos clown🤡

"is this about the transformation"

WOW MAYBE OT IS RICKY

WOW HES A DETECTIVE FOR FIGURING THAT OUT SO QUICK🤩

YO WHY IS NATALIE HERE-

she just shows up when it's convenient? is she gonna be at the sleepover too?

Seb's heavy swallow after Carlos shouts at him makes me so sad

"I never learned how to lie but I figure if I keep my mouth closed, I can't tell the truth" *nods and smiles at Nini when she asks*

why are they casually standing up all over the pizza shop, just sit at a big table and talk instead of blocking passageways and blocking off at least 6 tables-

"how about I invite myself" WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO INVITE THEMSELVES TO ASHLYN'S HOUSE-

YOU CAN ASK BUT JUST FORCE YOUR WAY IN?

so Cash Caswell has a bigger house than... Dennis Caswell.... who would've thought

ah yes there's the good old EJ 1.0

Nini: "boys vs girls"

Gina: *looks devastated and glances longingly at EJ*

way to be inconspicuous

"but north high should be" *cracks her knuckles in the most uncomfortable way*

good for Ashlyn for getting more confident though

oo bossy big red

"i get bossy around the power tools"

is that why Ashlyn was holding up the drill in episode 8 orrrr 🤠

oh

Lily, leave him alone please

she's literally not blinking, is that what makes her creepy?

the diss at big red and his face afterwards is priceless

isn't that similar to what Gina's mom said to her in season 1? hmmmm

but seriously please don't try to redeem lily, let us have a character to hate, or to love because they're evil.

not everyone's a good guy.

"im not liked here and I don't know what to do"

let antoine finish his salad and it'll fix everything

"hug emoji" *gags*

y'all realize Lily's literally 14?

why is she calling a 16/17 year old from another school for personal advice-

"he gets weird around tools"

I shouldn't be laughing so hard

"deja vu maybe?" awkward silence

I'm dying here I love EJ so so so so much

"where's seb"

*cuts to seb being held hostage hoping that they'd notice he's missing and go look for him*

"don't ask"

"oh ok"

"100% real faux fur" as you should queen

sponsored by target

Kourtney is singlehandedly saving the entire show.

Seb making finger guns make me happier than it should

why is this kinda making me want to have a co-ed sleepover with my non-existent theatre friends

YES YOU DO NEED TO TALK/SING TO SEB CARLOS THANK YOU FOR KNOWING THAT

wait what-

you haven't talked to him all WEEK-

Carlos are you stupid /hj

Benjamin is so adorable I can't

he turned around to come back for her instead of going home. you're "what do you want Jenn🙄X act isn't fooling anyone Benjamin 🙃

10101

1+4+16= 21st?

they placed 21st?

or do I just not remember how to convert to base ten

GIRL DON'T BE RUDE TO HIM, HE'S GONNA SAVE YALL

no ms Jenn, the kids are not eccentric 35 year olds.

aww sebby

is he thinking that Carlos is only with him cuz he's the only other openly gay guy at school-

son you are a perfect little bean don't put yourself down

yes they all ship portwell as they should.

they'll be throwing risotto at the wedding.

not the chocolates. stop there are no chocolates. please stop I'm dying.

Gina you don't have to explain yourself to her

it was a misunderstanding and it's in the past

why is Ashlyn still laughing-

exactly it wasn't a big deal please just move on Nini

Kourtney really be out here saving everything

WHY IS ASHLYN STILL LAUGHING

why do I feel like when Gina finally told Ash about it, she didn't think it was that funny but wanted to feel included in the inside joke so now she brings it up randomly to show that she's in on it....I totally don't do that...

"idk, the farmer type" oh son...

Ashlyn and big red are just spilling the secrets back and forth huh?

OOO EJ AND GINA SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-

cmon guys don't look at me like that-

"she is the best" and "we're buddies" don't sound right together

"pretty boy" "sweet boy" best ways to describe EJ

I love him.

and aw he's scared of rejection so he'll hold back just to keep her happy and not awkward how sweet

is Ricky wondering if letting her go(literally his song from last episode) was the best thing he did for Nini because he doesn't feel like it now? hmmm this is getting good

why is everyone so invested in Kourtney and Howie's relationship

PACK UP THE LAZY RICKY THING

oh yes Benji, that's exactly what she's doing

she couldn't follow her dream or whatever so now she's using the kids to gain some of the success she craves. why else would she have that massive hsm poster with her name on it in huge letters in her office.

just casually grab his hand with both your hands and stare at him creepily 🥰

ship jennzzara y'all

the first bump was a missed opportunity to do the baymax "falalala" as a reference to the fact that they watched big hero six while committing arson✋

wait so big red and EJ just left Ricky in the basement and now Ricky invited Carlos when they're supposed to be at the stage?

help no Ricky looks like he's about to tell Carlos he likes him (I know it's about writing the song for seb but still, look at his body language and tell me it doesn't look like that)

Ricky is so mature about this, he really just wants Nini to be happy even though he's hurting-

baby you deserve love, maybe Nini isn't the one for you but don't say you don't deserve it

why does he keep adding bro to the end like he doesn't know how to address Carlos

PLEASE CARLOS HAVING TO ADDRESS THE BRO THING

"let's write a song when we have like 45 minutes to get to the place and help our friends possibly win $50000 at the show in 2 weeks"

"can you hit a high C?"

"that's like the bottom of my range"

why am I laughing

this is so cool to see friendship interactions that we don't normally get to see

Nini why are you being like this-

Gina did nothing wrong??

I saw that, EJ and Gina being the only ones going in the same direction👀

right so obviously Kourtney's waiting until after the menkies to get back with Howie just in case he really is just using her as a way in to east high... obviously... right?

CARLOS

OK ITS COMING GET READY YALL

Why is portwell so awkward all of a sudden

OMG EJ

OMG GINA SAY YES or not, do what you want.

the way she doubts that EJ would genuinely ask so she has to make sure it's not Ashlyn behind it

OH

THE "NOT THAT I KNOW OF"

LIKE WHAT GINA SAID TO JACK ABOUT EJ BEING HER BOYFRIEND

GUYS THEY'RE SOULMATES

I want risotto now please

THEY'RE SO SWEET AND ADORABLY AWKWARD ITS LIKEEK LITTLE KIDS

OOOOOOO what is this place that seblos is in, looks fancy....and secluded

oh wait no Ricky's just standing there

wait is it the bomb shelter

it looks so good what

HSKAGSJAGAJAGWISGSKAUASBWKSVAIWBAISBQKSHIQBWOABWOABDOQBZIQBAIAQBSIWBQISVQKSIANSGOQBSAISBKASBKWBAIABQOSBBSJAHAJAVAJSBAJHSKAHSJAHAJAJAAJAHHHHHHHH

@youranxiousnerd ARE YOU OK?

CUZ IM NOT OK

LOOK AT SEBBY'S FACE

LOOK AT HOW ADORABLE IT IS

THE LYRICS ARE KILLING ME

SEBLOS IS KILLING ME

I AM DEAD

PLEASE SEND HELP

I like to imagine that Frankie and Joe practiced this in their apartment and just had a blast with it.

or maybe that Frankie practiced in secret like what Joe did for the climb

OH THE SUITS

THATS WHERE THAT CLIP IN THE PROMO WAS FROM

AWWW SEBBY'S SO CUTE

HE'S A LITTLE MARSHMALLOW

they're still so awkward with the dance I cant

let's appreciate Frankie's voice though

this episode really was made just for the seblos and portwell stans and you gotta love it

BIG RED GET OUT

WHY DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS

Seb's little "yeah" IS ADORABLE

you can't tell me that wouldn't have been the best time for them to say I love you....IF FREAKIN BIG RED WASN'T THERE

ok but wait Ricky needs more hugs like that, look at his face

the boy needs love

"bro" please don't let Ricky and Carlos go back to not talking because their friendship is amazing

EJ laughing at Ricky sounding like a cat coughing up a furball is so funny to me

RICKY'S FLOP GETS ME EVERYTIME

I knew it was too good to be true

ok so Ricky's dead, next in line please

this episode was so short but I love it so much. this is what I signed up for for season 2✋