#actually and genuinely like maybe thats part of the problem..? i feel like when it comes to stuff like this i'm not v self aware and i dont

[dogheartbf]

ok. maybe i need to learn compromise

[the-king-of-lemons]

,

[logictoinsanity]

Idea for a fic that I tried to write but was genuinely to autistic to execute

Three months after the movie, Logan's been living with Wade and things are going..surprisingly well. Distressingly well, even.

They've settled into a rather domestic routine, Logan is working a construction job and joining Wade on his merc jobs every now and then to blow off steam, he's getting more comfortable with the rest of Wades family, he sees Laura regularly, even his nightmares have gotten marginally better.

His biggest problem however, is Wade. Well, the way Wade makes him feel, more accurately.

Logan is over 200 years old, he's well aware of how it feels when he's attracted to someone, and he's far to old to bother denying it (okay maybe he denied it for a little while, but thats his own business)

So Logan has accepted that he has feelings for Wade, but he cannot for the fucking life of him figure out how Wade feels about him.

Wade flirts with him basically 24/7, but he flirts with everyone, and it could definitely just be a way to piss Logan off, as Logans well aware that's one of Wade's favorite passtimes, so how is he supposed to know if he means any of it?

Eventually, after a particularly hard day of lingering glances, lewd comments and slightly-to-sincere sounding compliments, Logan reaches his breaking point and comes up with a plan

The plan is, essentially, to turn the whole thing into a massive game of gay chicken, minus the part where the other party typically knows they're playing gay chicken. Logan's no stranger to flirting, he'd dare say he was pretty good at it, back in the day. He's out of practice, sure, but he has no doubt it'll come back to him.

It's perfect- If Wade did actually return his feelings, then great, they're just two people flirting with each other and maybe they'll finally fuckin move past that. If not, well, Logan's just planning to give as good as he gets, Wade will either just be ecstatic like he normally is when Logan matches his jokes, or he'll knock it the fuck off.

obviously it ends with them fucking

[very-d1pper]

inspired by a post from @jamandjazz

How Johnny Cade, Dallas Winston, and Steve Randle are affected by their parent issues.

ok so keep in mind i havent read the book since december (i dont have my own copy) so this might be a bit wrong. im using info from my mind, the movie, the musical, tiktok, and here.

Johnny Cade

so its canon that johnny wouldve ran away if it werent for the gang (starting off strong with dally-johnny parallels OUCH)

the abuse from his parents definitely gave him a fucked up sense on what it means to feel loved

which is why johnny gets along with dally so well, i'll get into that more in dally's part

he 100% thinks that the entire world hates him except for the gang

someone said that he is so sweet its sick, not true. the abuse definitely toughened him up enough that he will be mean to strangers

he canonically is somewhat responsible (going out to the store to buy supplies and giving ponyboy a note)

im saying that because im pretty sure pony says something like twobit and someone else in the gang would forget to buy something johnny remembered

johnny learned that from having to live out on the street sometimes when his parents fought or kicked him out for multiple days

he is the living definition of forgive but never forget

he just wants a home

i personally hc that the abuse started as johnny grew older, maybe when he was 6-8 years old

which is why johnny (especially in the musical) still cares about his parents

because he remembers that they WERE good people

and he hopes to bring them back eventually

Dallas Winston

oh this man...

ran away from his problems. thats canon

his mom died when she gave birth and thats why his dad is the alcoholic deadbeat abuser he is

the abuse from his parents gave him a fucked up sense on what it means to love

which is why he can talk to johnny so well because johnny is used to the type of love dally gives

he 100% hates the world except for the gang

the abuse toughened up both johnny and dally, the thing is dally grew up with it, johnny was raised with love at first

also dally's environment in ny, that place is rough in many areas

tulsa doesnt have that, at least not on the level of ny

he's rough with everyone because thats what he learned

Steve Randle

UGH THIS MAN BRO

screw u se hinton for giving us NOTHING abt him

anyways!!

the neglect sooo fucked him up

then his dad giving physical money for forgiveness?

hell nahhh

steve definitely felt like he cannot be loved without paying someone

like with real money

which made him feel unlovable because he's like broke as fuck

soda was the first person to show him what love actually is

his mom uhh eloped to wherever after steve's birth ig idfk

steve thinks everything in the world comes with a price, even an ounce of love

i literally cant think of shit for this man rn

All Three

accidentally trauma bonding

johnny mentioned something then both steve and dally said "same"

genuinely concerning from an outsider standpoint but really funny to them

if it was modern au darry or soda wouldve sent them to therapy

one time johnny got kicked out and went to the curtis house and found steve in the kitchen

j: "kicked out?"

s: "...yeah"

j: "same."

then dally walks in

d: "bottles got thrown at me in buck's place"

j: "ptsd?"

d: "no-" *remembers he's with two people who had it happen to them* "...yeah"

j and s- "its good."

johnny convinces them to do a cuddle blob thing (the gang's done them before)

darry wakes up and see them, doesnt comment but remembers for blackmail

[moonshynecybin]

who do you think would deal better with being isekai'd into omegaverse, marc or vale? alternatively which is more compelling

most beautiful ask. in the world. so funny. ummmm i think. vale is maybe more compelling because his issues with it would be. perhaps unsolvable and endlessly complex. guy who is a lil weird about gender, not terribly into the concept of marriage, and is pretty fundamentally adverse to being. shall we say emotionally legible/vulnerable. exposed. and omegaverse as a genre is all about exposure. its all. giving into the base instincts of your body and those same instincts giving you away to the object of your affections. its going into heat and the person youre in love with is the only one available to help you through it. its scenting someone and that being a crystal ball of their emotions and bodily state ESPECIALLY ie how much they want you specifically. its needing someone so bad you are literally insensate. its getting bonded 5ever and ever irrevocably, OFTEN in the heat of an instinctual moment without the relationship negotiation that happens irl. a genre centered around a betrayal of the body/heart to the mind, in many ways

now imagine you didnt actually grow UP in an omegaverse so you have no toolbox to DEAL with all that. sensory input off the SHITS. and. like suddenly and without WARNING now vale can feel in his CHEST exactly how distressed marc marquez is about every one of their interactions. and how much he wants his ass. like truly every part of his hind brain is like jesus christtttttt i should be inside him right tf now im a terrible alpha. and then the higher part of his brain is like what the fuck. what the fuck. i am not responsible for marc, what the fuck. and oh hey theres a bump on my penis i need to ask people about this right the hell now. thats vale. so i see this as a somewhat fraught comedy of sex errors where his ADHD ass is treading horny water trying to learn alpha manners and also. much more complexly. not fall into all of the traditional alpha expectations/roles. that little trap of gender. because at heart vale is a little trickster who loves to buck expectations!!! and maybe his journey here is realizing that he can just be himself comma sex freak. and that leaning into those "alpha" traits doesnt mean he is conforming lmao he can still have his own unique version of his family. learning the norms of a society and what makes sense to him and what still doesnt. sorting through the weeds of it. and that being vulnerable rules sometimes. and that marc loves him. because that last one is kind of hard to ignore now... again because of that emotional and physical vulnerability that comes with the genre... honestly him knowing all of that about marc without having to actually TALK about it may solve some of their problems tbh. like why work through all that verbally when you can sniff them and then fuck them. kind of the omegaverse fantasy in quite a few ways

marc. jeez louise. i think would HATE it more. at first. control freak 9000. maybe has to miss races for heats. suppressants arent legal. experiencing weird omega sexism if we want to go that route OR. my favorite. has been lying to the press about his status since he presented. tiniest 15 yr old youve ever seen: im an alpha ! :3 uh sure bud. sure. i bet. SO actually maybe he falls into a world where hes just been white-knuckling it for the last billion years during race weekends and most of the paddock kind of KNOW (scent blockers only go so far...) but are lowkey afraid to call him on it dlkjdfljldsfd... similar to vale in this scenario, he sort of has to learn how to omega— and when his heat hits during summer break and his ass start leaking in the middle of the spanish equivalent of walmart, he finds a psycho little ziploc bag of sweaty vale shirts under his bed and he genuinely is like girl what the hellllllllllll.... wiggin out. and his next heat he turns up to race with truly NO practice managing it all, so its way more obvious than normal and the farce is growing thinner and vale literally pulls him aside to be like hey are you GOOD ? but in that valentino not that i care about your ass kind of unspeakably divorced way and marc is like woag. bc a pheromone truck just ran him over. eyes glassy face flushed sweaty as hell mouth a little open.... and he opens his mouth to make an excuse and nothing comes... and then obviously they fuck like its the end of the WORLD

and like i DO think marc pulls out of it more cleanly than vale overall, bc something in HIS lizard brain would be deeply soothed by like. excelling at being an omega. getting an A + in being a bottom. doing that for vale, specifically in the context of pushing his body to the absolute LIMIT to do it.... hes locked in. its go time. and then theres the insane possibility of vale putting his mouth on his neck and them getting basically soulbonded forever where they have to have crazy sex every few months ? hes like ummmm okay. i could get used to this for a while lmao

[ticklishthoughts1]

Story? Kinda?

All y’all need to know is this was inspired by the same person that inspired “banter” 🙏🏾

Enjoy fr

So, cutie

Usually, if I’m going to get your tummy, and it’s a *baaaad* spot, I won’t actually start there unless specifically asked-I’ll get your sides, or your ribs, or your thighs, just because you need to giggle for me right the fuck now you’re so cute-and then, I’ll hover a hand over your belly, and mutter “I’m gonna get you~ the tickle monster’s gonna get your tummy, sweetheart!~”. What? I like watching you squirm around at the teasing-it’s almost as if you’re being gotten before I get you. It probably doesn’t help that my fingers are slowly wiggling without actually touching you yet-which of course earns a: “I’m NOT even touching you, cutie!”. And I’m not! Oops-now I am~.

It was just one finger, the pointer finger, swiping across the tummy, really fast. The sound you make makes me smirk, and chuckle off instinct. God your laugh is so CUTE! I want more of that. Easy problem easy solution! I swipe again, with 2 fingers. 3. 4. Then I look you in the eyes, and say as genuinely as possible “You have a beautiful laugh, you know that? Laugh for me, tickle toy =]”. And the hand descends. At first I just spider tickle all over, like each individual finger was a dancer, jumping and sliding of its own accord, moving my hand in a small circle to get your ENTIRE belly, from right below the ribcage, to right above the Hip bone. Then, I just place my hand flat on your ticklish little tummy-because WOW this tummy is ticklish~, and start squeezing ever so lightly, incessantly, maddeningly soft, yet firm, and very tickly. Then, I raise my hand slightly, and instead of tracing, I tap softly over your waist line, your giggle button, and your belly in general. I make little “claws” with my hands, and squeeze at random parts of the tummy. I even do something a bit unorthodox in tickling terms-I turn my hand around, and use the back of it, tracing my fingertips around and around. This is because my nails are very short, so I can properly tickle you with them if I do this. Once THAT fun process is over…I do the same thing, with the other hand, except in reverse! I retrace my steps best I can, wrecking all the same spots in the same ways, in reverse order as I had just done. When THATS done, I begin wrecking you with both hands. Now make no mistake, I’m a playful man, and chances are this entire time I had been vocally teasing the hell out of you! Some form of ‘Tickle tickle’ or ‘Kitchy Kitchy coooo~’ or even ‘is it bad right here? Right here? Right on your belly?~’ thinking of how you would react to that is making me chuckle even as I write these words. You’re so fucking cute. No seriously, your smile, the way you get flustered, Your-wait I’m getting sidetracked lmao. Point is, I had been teasing you vocally the whole time, but now, with both hands? I would be silent. Content to watch you squirm and squeal under my tickling fingers for eternity. Though, if my mouth isn’t in use making noise, I might as well nom at this tummy, hmm? Maybe a side of raspberries for the tickle monster’s meal. Yeah that sounds good-and from the look on your face right now, you agree cutie!~ maybe I’ll break the vow of silence to make playful hungry tickle monster noises, Or maybe I’ll want your sweet lee sounds to be the only thing filling my ears. Either way, I’m gonna make sure you have fun. I’m gonna tickle all the bad stuff in the world away, okay? Relax, ticklish-you can just chill here. Nothing to worry about, in this space. Just you, me, and the hilariously flustering, electricifying feeling of your ticklish nerves being activated and played with again and again and again until you’re in tears from it. Most you have to worry about, is my voice, when I lean forward, smirking, locking eyes with you, and mutter:

“Kitchy Kitchy Cooo~”

[oh-no-its-bird]

For the Uchiha Houhua AU, how does he survive the massacre? I'm guessing either he uses his poison skills to fake his death or he does the 'actually I was a prodigy all along' thing in front of Itachi. Itachi spends the next several years being driven a little insane by finding this out about his old friend.

Also does Houhua incarnate as a baby? Because if so he was probably old enough to babysat by Obito. I feel like you could do something interesting with that.

On that note his relationship with kakashi. Like that's his little brother figures sensei, and he was a shizun in his last life, he knows what it is to be a good teacher and kakashi in the early series is not that. If he also knew Obito and knows that that's his eye in kakashi's head? Oof.

How much of the Uchiha eye thing does he get? Does he have his sharingan? Or the mangekyou?

Also, wasn't it cannon that part of the reason why danzo let Itachi let Sasuke live was because he was a moldable child? How does he feel about having a semi adult Uchiha still alive? I feel like Houhua is walking a constant tightrope of protecting himself and Sasuke and not being seen as a threat by the creepy old man.

THIS IS A WONDERFUL QUESTION!! I. Am not too sure, actually

I feel like it'd probably be him trying to fight back maybe? Faking his death absolutely sounds like the shit hed do tho, so hmm might put that in his back pocket too

Either way, Houhua vs Itachi 1v1 where they're surprisingly well matched sounds really fun I cant lie.

Mmmm, maybe he can 1v1 Itachi and hold up surprisingly well? Itachi is doing the what is this, how are you doing this, have you been hiding yourself from me this whole time?! routine as Houhua goes fuck shit oh my god oh my god I cant believe that worked oh fuck--

Then Obito fucking teleports behind Houhua and stabs him. Oopsies!

Houhua somehow survives due to genuine luck, and gets a hint about there having been more than 1 person at the massacre maybe?

Idk if thatd work tho. Mmmm so many thoughts.

I do think that no matter what, Houhua would have to be "defeated" in some way. Play dead for a bit. If he comes out of the fight having visibly won, it'll spell problems and set dominos in motion I dont want dominoing just yet

So no matter what, he's ending the fight face down on the floor

ALSO THATS. SUCH A GOOD POINT ACTUALLY SHIT, DID OBITO HELP BABYSIT HIM?? Houhua did reincarnate as a baby, tho I think there was some soft mental block on him becoming truly conscious till he was at least around 5 years old. So by the time he was conscious at least, Obito was already gone. Rip!

I think that Kakashi wouldnt be immune to looking at Houhua and seeing the reflection of another cry baby ninja, though Houhua wouldn't have any real memory of Obito (tho he might have heard ab him before, with some clan members comparing them quietly when they think he's not listening)

Anyways I need a scene where Houhua and Obito meet once Houhua is older and Houhua straight up says "You know, I never did get why people thought we were anything alike" as a clear insult

Rare Houhua w !!

I think Houhua has an unusually difficult time manifesting anything w his eyes just bc of the emotional walls he has up between him and everyone around him. He does not allow himself to feel deeply for anyone enough for his eyes to be affected, no matter how fond he may grow of them. There is always a wall between him and the world.

I do also however think that no matter how hard he tries to distance himself from the people around him, even having known for years now that they'd all die this way, seeing the people who he was raised around all die to the hands of a boy he might have grown fond of--

Yeah.

Not even he's immune to that.

So when the massacre happens, he'll at least get his sharingan, tho idk how man tomoe (and I cant really remember what is needed to gain each tomoe, so, oops)

I do think he'd have an incredibly difficult time manifesting his mangekyou, for all the reasons above, so if he ever does it'd be way down the line.

I also think it'd be super fucking interesting (especially from an outsiders perspective) if he manifested it somehow due to MBJ's involvement, since his reincarnation is wandering around here somewhere as Jun, and does not remember Houhua

Houhua has no explanation for why he cares about this man deeply enough to manifest the mangekyou. Sorry.

Also, Im ngl, as I write this I can totally see an argument for something along the lines of "well Houhua went through a fuck ton of trauma as SQH, so what if when he regains his memories around 5, he automatically unlocks his sharingan just through that remembered trauma? Then just keeps it secret for years until the massacre"

I think that could be interesting tbh, it would also tell a story all on its own ab his grief for his past life and all the people there. Smthn to think ab, idk

Houhua is a bit too old and way too clever for Danzo's liking. hHis one only saving grace is that, on the surface at least, he's a fuckin worm of a boy and has literally no achievements other than having survived Itachi

He isn't worth getting rid of yet, but Danzo has an eye on him, just waiting for a reason to potentially knock him off.

Good think Houhua decided not to go the child prodigy route!! Putting his own flaws and weaknesses on blast to all of Konoha probably saved his fucking ass with Danzo. At least for now, anyways.

[kiruyeen]

rambling abt my danny johnson hcs bc I dont have anything better to do

alright so the fog most definitely changed everyone in it, but while most of them are for worse, Danny for better, actually. not for the "hehe I can mutilate people without worrying abt consequences" part. by all means I believe danny would get bored. of the same methods of killing, sacrifing, stalking for short periods, the same realms, same victims, etc. Danny, as patient as he can be while stalking, is a thrill seeking man, and only human, whether he likes it or not.

but this is a key part of him actually getting to explore who 'danny johnson' is. he spent his entire life putting on masks, physical or metaphorical, that he has no idea who 'danny' is otherwise, and this would give him a chance to explore, since, well, being painfully average isnt any advantage to him here and he has nothing better to do since he cant focus his attention on stalking and studying other people. when theres no one left to study, one is forced to study themselves.

he could actually grow out his hair, give himself stick and poke tats (maybe with the help of the legion, who knows), grow a beard to see if he likes it (I dont think he would), etc.

going from this, if he forms genuine bonds with anyone (especially any survivors) bc yk what else is left to do, he could actually, just maybe, open up about his past and realize oh fuck, that shit wasnt healthy or normal at all. I dont think itd fix him, but itd give him a better understanding of himself. I dont think he would ever upon up about this if it wasnt for the fog.

similarly I dont think he'd form any romantic bonds with anyone if it wasnt the fog as well, I fully believe danny used to cut himself off (more accurately, cut THEM up) as soon as he felt his feelings for anyone would get in the way of his mission. I dont think he even recognizes romantic love anymore. the difference in the fog is, well, you cant get rid of your problems by murdering them here bc they just come back like a boomerang.

he semi-canonly has NPD (as in the devs called him a bit narcissistic once and I stuck to it like a starving leech) and I most definitely believe he has the symptoms, as a lack of a sense of self is common with NPD anyway. I never wanna think too much abt this since I have a deeply set fear of misrepresenting already stigmatized disorders esp due to not having NPD myself but I will say, 1, he definitely has an internal hierarchy but the way he feels abt those above and below him are different than you'd assume, and 2, he would have been a murderer regardless of his npd and the npd has nothing to do with him becoming a murderer, it does influence it naturally yes bc its a PERSONALITY disorder but its not what makes him evil yk. its the ritualized abuse he went through all his life with the explicit intent to make him the way he is.

other, small stuff

so since the entity can and does change a few things with the killers, I love to think Danny has tapetum lucidum in his eyes, like a cat, to see better in the dark, esp beneath the mask's eyes.

the way his costume's... strap.. tentacle... things work is similar to a cat's tail as well. swishing furiously when upset, resting naturally when calm, curling slowly when curious etc. it makes it a little bit easier to guess how hes feeling with the emotionless mask on, for the theoretical audience at least.

he's actually not a fan of physical contact, unless it is to cause discomfort to or fluster someone. he's simply not used to it, but he will tolerate it when necessary. he's likely just touch starved but doesnt recognize the sensation, though.

he would not care enough to label his orientational identity but it'd definitely be pan and somewhere on the a-spectrum.

returning to the only getting to know himself after the fog bit, he'd probably realize hes at least a little bit gender queer. (I also love trans man danny headcanons I just cant seem to make it fit with my other hcs)

alr thats abt it I believe. feel free to share ur ideas as well I love reading abt different interpertations for a character esp when it is the silly sopping wet cat that is danny

[ego-meliorem-esse]

Do you ever think that François relationship shaped how he connects to others, specially the younger ones? Arthur is pissed off about it, Feliciano is worried and lovino thinks he's an idiot but Alfred kind of digs him as a older figure while Matthew got the burnt of the perfectionistic french

I think there are two sides of other nations perceptions of the French rat.

Arthur openly and publicly bickers and argues with him. But, despite their perceived rivalry, when alone it's much more "domestic" in a sense. For Arthur it's the classic of " It's rotten work. Especially if it's you. By god, I'll do it, but damn,". A very big simplification would be those parents that should have gotten divorced 37 years ago, but aren't. And they won't be. Because despite what it may look like to the outside world, François and Arthur understand each other in a way no one else does. When François is talking and arguing about philosophical thematics or past grudges, Arthur bickers back. It's a way of relaxation and stress relief for the old fucks. But when, for instance, François genuinely is having the worst time imaginable, isn't his usual self and has stopped talking about his problems or Arthurs past shortcomings, it's serious. And Arthur listens. It's their dynamic that is constant and both of them need the stability of an ever changing world and falling empires.

Feliciano has a much more relaxed relationship with François. As much as the fandom likes to portray Feliciano as a soft uwu Doitsu~ guy, i don't think thats what i am going with. He's hardheaded and passionate. Something that rivals François' own personality. They share interests but disagree on other topics. Like politics and even social problems. But there is not really any hard arguments. Feliciano is not an idiot. He is smart and engaged to his own interests and hobbies. Knows a lot too. François feels the need to one up Feliciano in knowledge on certain matters, and I think that's hilarious.

Lovino doesn't really find François all that interesting to be around. Irritating even at some points. But again, Lovino is smart and he doesn't need the drama of actually arguing with the man. They do share a passion for food and food preparation and that's enough for Lovino. Their hangouts mostly happen when Feliciano is present. It's rare for those two to get a coffee by themselves. I find this dynamic very interesting and i might expand on it hmmm

Alfred is very much part of that dual perception of the French man. Everything on Alfred says he deeply adores the older man. If asked, most nations would put François in Alfreds fav people category. And to a point they are right. François has a form of idealism rivalling Alfreds. But the methodology and approach as well as general beliefs are different, and that irks Alfred to a certain point. He does look up to the man and there is a crucial aspect of respect the boy holds for François. But their worldview is different in the parts that matter the most to Alfred. Arguing with Alfred is extremely rare, and it happened maybe four times throughout Alfreds life. In a sense, Alfred has grown out of the need to prove himself and grown out of accepting whatever opinions a person he holds in high regard might have. They do share interests in literature and music. As those are big parts of Alfreds life, he finds a vast common ground with the man.

Matthew. Oh, Matthew... To me their dynamic and relationship is the most interesting one. I've talked in depth about this, but in short François is almost disappointed in his son. Matthew is timid and quiet. Not very ambitious and overly kind. When he was a child, Matt asked for little and never really threw a tantrum over anything. He accepts whatever he gets and whatever comes his way. François in his core is very different. Adding to that the fact that François is not meant to be a father. To say he was distant is an understatement. Distant in an emotional sense and a literal as well. Matthew was expensive and the trade off to England might have been inevitable. But regardless, his coldness towards his son started much sooner. Matthew sees François as the man that made him. His "biological" father, and there is a form of love for him regardless. That love however is pushed very deep inside Matts heart and soul. Throughout the 19th and 20th centuries, they have been talking normally and interacting normally. However, their conversations are akin to those of colleagues, not father and son. Even if François might have a tinge of "regret" for their destinies, there is no way he would act on it. But i do believe that even if subconsciously, they are talking more outside of work these days. Even if it's just a text from François saying "Saw some American tourists pretending to be Canadian. Ruined my day." And Matt responding with "lol". Baby steps, ya kno.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Anon who asked about the mpost/the one who had sent the tadc x wolf reader request here... Here's my new and improved version of the request!! And not on anon so I get the notification for it being completed :3

Okay so, tadc characters of your choosing (if you need specific characters then Jax, Ragatha, Caine, and Gangle) x a wolf!reader who is really shy, tends to be self deprecating, is a people pleaser, and underestimates their skills. Preferably platonic but romantic is fine!!

Caine, Ragatha, Jax and Gangle x wolf!reader who is shy w/ low confidence !

writing this then imma go work on my silly art eheheheheh unironically listening to hit my spot by ur pretty (do NOT listen to it without headphones if youre not alone it is literally gay sex song) on loop it has no reason to be so catchy gawd DAMN admins yapping aside i hope you enjoy this !! written more leaning towards platonic !!

CAINE:

i think he would try to hype you up and make you more confident in yourself! i think he would be a little confused on why you arent too.. self assured, i mean he thinks youre cool and talented and skilled and-

he could go on for hours.. i think sometimes you might cave into him and what he wants due to you being a people pleaser and it might take caine a while to catch on to that and try to pay attention to those smaller things, especially if theres something making you uncomfortable... the good thing about being a wolf is that you have ears and a tail, which do a lot in conveying how youre feeling in the moment! usually he pays attention to those things if youre the type to not like.. vocalizing your discomfort. hypes you up to everyone who will listen, stops just short of picking you up and showing you off to everyone/hj

RAGATHA:

similar to caine she uses your ears and tail as a means to gauge your internal feelings about things. ragatha is a lot more low energy and calmer compared to some of the other characters on this list... has the least issues of reading you. pulls you away if youre getting uncomfortable in any situation, and oftentimes stands up for you if someone is trying to push you something you dont actually want to do... a lot of the times those people tend to be jax.. but we'll talk about that in his part. I like to think she would try to give you little pep talks when she notices you're a little down.. makes frequent compliments to you and the things you do (skills, hobbies, ect). her room is always open to you whenever you need an escape!

JAX:

really a lot of his "coercing" is just him teasing you and, in a somewhat mean way, trying to subtly push you to get a backbone and find your limit. he wont say it or really express it, but you guys are friends and he does want to see you be able to speak for yourself... its just how he goes about it can be a little... erlrkgkh.... you know? since HES the one trying to test your boundaries and get you to snap at him. i dont think he would go as far as make fun of your hobbies and interests to make you stand up for yourself.. thats just. a smidge to mean, since youre his friend. definitely calls you wolf/dog-based nicknames, most of them dont fall into the "im trying to make you stand up for yourself" thing and more so "haha i think its funny and genuinely lighthearted"

its a little odd but there are good intentions in there

GANGLE:

she gets it, she really does... you two probably talk to one another about your problems to one another... you both find comfort in it and in a way it makes you both feel better. seeing you uncomfortable or anxious kind of empowers gangle to come and help you out, regardless of which mask shes wearing. i like to think it would to the same for you if the roles were reversed... its kind of like how you stop being anxious momentarily when you see your friend struggling and being anxious themselves and you back them up or speak for them, you know? or maybe thats just a me thing... shrugs. probably gives you bows and ribbons to put on your tail to accessorize it

[westerberg]

I feel like such an ass whenever I try and explain to my sister that I don’t actually think I have autism (she self diagnosed a couple of years ago and was immediately convinced I must have it) but it gets so frustrating when a person who has never bothered to actually try and understand my emotions tries and acts like she understands me “better than I do myself” or whatever… like it really annoys me autistic doesn’t mean “quiet friendless weirdo” like it’s a mental condition and frankly I don’t really relate to the majority of the symptoms… the small extent to which I do I think could be explained by CPTSD/Depression/and maybe ADHD but I’ve never had a thing with overstimulation or meltdowns or have ever had a thought about a foods texture or anything, and I actually kind of hate routine….I don’t seek out small talk but I can be a pretty great conversationalist if I actually click with another person. But I’m not really a person to waste time talking to a person I can tell I don’t click with- which I don’t think is an experience my sister has ever had as far as I can tell. So I think she thinks I’m lying to save face or something and I’m just a horrible socially awkward weirdo incapable of conversation. Like when I said to her I can’t “connect” w/ people my freshman year of college and she thought it was autism- like no, I grew up in a trailer park with an alcoholic dad and my mom died 3 years ago and I’m going to college with 18 yrs olds whose parents are lawyers and go on yearly vacations to Florida- THATS why I can’t connect with them. But she’s so insecure I think she really needs to believe that I have the same issues as her bc she sees me as “cool”

Mostly it’s just I know my sister projects like crazy and I really don’t think she has an understanding of how I go about in the world considering she once tried to diagnose me as a sociopath. She clearly does not respect me as an individual human being with my own individual experiences… and I hate how fucking pathological she has to get with me, in a way it feels massively disrespectful. And she pretends to respect me saying I don’t think I have it but then she’ll do things like try to calm me down by saying “change is hard…” and then later I ➡️ can see that she is understanding me being stressed by something anyone in the world would be stressed by as an “autistic meltdown” (maybe in part bc she understands every problem I’ve ever had as insignificant no matter the situation) which I have seen her have many times and I have definitely never had something like that.

Like I don’t wanna be a dick about autism and part of me worries I’m just getting defensive and then I’d really look like an ass but I genuinely don’t think I have significant autistic traits apart from needing some time alone, sometimes having trouble with making friends (I do think this is much more about environment + bouts of depression than my ability to “connect”), and I do get really obsessed w/ random things but I think it’s more like ADHD in that they tend to be kind of fleeting (but I will NEVER change my Richard Lewis icon even tho that obsession has definitely mostly passed LOL)

[spectrology]

i dont think theres enough talk about trans people who were attractive during the period of their life where they were presenting as the gender they were assigned at birth. like its always "miserable person who doesnt know what theyre doing stylistically" and then "most attractive and happy woman/man alive"

like, youre equating health to beauty again, sorry. i make a hot girl. when i dress up i get a lot of attention, and i like attention. i like being hot, and being hot does make me happy to a certain extent. equating that happiness to mental health is a shit narrative, and looking "better" as some metric of success in transition and happiness is so unhelpful. one of the things im struggling with the most while considering my transition is the potential of giving that up, and its real. it affects the way i interact with the world.

i look at so much trans timeline stuff and i know just by the amount of trans women whose "before" photos were them as extremely (and often objectively) handsome men who obviously put a lot of effort into being so, that no amount of being a "hot girl" will dismantle my desire to be a guy and fucking yet... i struggle. its scary. and it sucks.

especially when it comes to being transmasculine -- there's this novelty in being a(n attractive) (white) girl. like when i do masculine things its impressive, its cool, its notable, its hot. and part of me wants people to shut the fuck up about it and let me live, and another part of me genuinely enjoys the attention and praise. would people still oo and ahh when they hear i studied aerospace engineering? would i still get special attention from the employees at hardware stores (ive literally been offered coupons and like sales that havent started yet)? would people in my circles still think my contractor type work is as cool? i dont know. maybe not. and overall i think, yea, i could give that up, its pretty shallow and those arent exactly relationships i care about in the overarching span of my life, but its still hard to give it up in favor of a life thats definitely going to be harder, despite being more towards the person im pretty sure i want to be.

its such an unrelatable, unpitiable problem to have, but its still something i have to think about and dismantle in order to make a decision, and i keep denying myself the space to do that. one of the things im working on is not dismissing my feelings and problems as "stupid". it turns out that logic-ing away the emotions and dumping them out isnt actually CBT -- oops! and obviously if i was to fully transition id be handed a plate of much more practical privileges on a silver fucking platter as a white "man", with the delicious benefit of not having fragile masculinity imbued in me from when i was a fetus, and living in a location that would be accepting of whatever gnc thing id decide to be sometimes, but those arent really "pros" either. idk.

im not generically or super conventionally attractive, i dont have "pretty girl privilege", but its crazy how being attractive can just rip a bit of yourself out of your own hands. like, it can really feel like your beauty and how you look belongs to other people. part of me so selfishly wishes i was not as attractive because i for some reason believe it would make me feel more in ownership of my body, like i dont have to capitalize on something ive been given, but I know there's a whole other spectrum to things ill never understand about growing up "ugly" that has a multitude of other challenges when it comes to being trans.

god. and i havent even began to touch on how your relationship with your body and sexuality complicate this whole fucking thing. or the monetization of female beauty. fucking hell, im fortunate enough to have a great job because i cant imagine adding that to the pile.

wish i could talk about this stuff without feeling so masturbatory, but i find a lot of queer people i talk to have really poor self confidence re: their bodies, and dont want to hear it, which of course is fine. but i really wanna hear the narrative of more happy trans people. people who were hot before their transition, and feel more like themselves now. so like, if youre sexy and you know it clap your hands.

i imagine trans women would have way more interesting things to say about this because of the insane amount of privilege they sacrifice to be themselves, and im really open to recommendations for essays, videos, etc, of stuff on this topic. especially those that discuss it sexually as well.

[dirtsoilmulch]

long rambly post abt how i think bede and hop's relationship is because holy shit im the only person correct ever:

(asterisk this is only kind of sort of a ship analysis because i dont ship them in a normal way i ship them in a cool secret 3rd thing way)

during the plot, they dont Like each other. at all. like not even a little bit. even before bede was actively being a dick, hop got bad vibes from him anyway (half because of how he spoke to victor/gloria, half because hop's ego was the size of the sun in earlygame). and on bede's end, hop is a roadblock. just another competitor that he has to face off against. so why would he care? he's got one goal (to please chairman rose) and thats all he plans to do.

when the bede/hop battle plotpoint comes into play, its less of a pokemon battle and more of a fight. somewhere in one of the wild areas, kind of discreet so neither get into serious trouble over it. i always refer to this part of the game "the time when bede tells hop to kill himself" because thats what i feel is implied. bede calls him worthless, he calls him a terrible trainer, a stain on leon's reputation. things that dig deep, that fuck hop up astronomically. but i think its just because bede can see a lot of what he is in hop. they both had a goal. they both had someone who they needed to prove themselves to (leon or chairman rose). they gave it everything and more, sacrificed time and money and years to accomplish the one thing they couldnt ever do. i dont think hop can see the parallels they have yet. hes too in his head at this point

when bede is removed from the gym challenge, hop is a little conflicted. had he not gotten his team wiped prior, he would've been stoked about it. but he's more focused on himself now. he has bigger problems to worry about. bede is basically forgotten by him.

postgame (the playable content postgame) is a little different. i imagine it takes place a few months after the main plot does. bede has matured slightly, but he's still defensive as all hell. hop is more confused than he is upset. especially after seeing bede's success as the next fairy-type gym leader. because why him? why, after all bede has ruined and broken and messed with, did he get the chance and hop didnt? i doubt that hop ever wanted to be a gym leader (especially not fairy-type, he doesnt give that vibe). but if not a champion, he wanted to contribute somehow. its not fair to him that bede gets to and he doesnt (despite hop's lack of trying)

he's angry about it. angry enough that he breaks the radio silence between him and bede and confronts him about it. they dont battle this time (hop knew he wouldnt win anyway). it leads to an argument, though. one that leads bede to ask him why he's given up. why after all that effort, he's decided to just quit everything altogether.

following this is their second not interacting period. i imagine this is over the course of a few years. hop finally talks himself into becoming a pokemon professor. he prefers learning over copying anyway. he actually takes bede's advice, and goddamnit it actually worked.

so when research brings him and sonia to ballonlea, he finds bede again. he does his best to thank him for the wake up call. bede apologizes (though it doesnt Feel like an apology. hes so terrible at sounding genuine, even if he is) for basically psyching hop out of the championship altogether. and he tells him that had he not intervened, had that first "kys" battle never happened, that hop could've fought his own brother. maybe not a win. but he would still make it far.

hop cries over that. and with time, they're able to talk like normal people again. reminisce on the gym challenge, talk about what happened and why it happened. hop asks bede about the pokemon native to the glimwood tangle, bede asks hop about dynamaxing (and also tells the little knowledge he'd gotten from the chairman back in the day).

so do they date? no. not in a regular kind of way. my mind says it as a very casual, not set in stone or talked about qpr. they're around each other a lot, they end up caring about each other a lot. theres still that underlying pain from hop, he's learning to get over it. and there are some nights bede gets sentimental enough to apologize again.

nothing super romantical happens. they kiss like once, they hold hands occasionally. i dont think either of them are very physically affectionate. both are also asexual because i said so.

slightly more than friends. a bit less than lovers. just 2 people learning to work with the cards they were delt. 2 people who failed and support each other as they pick up the pieces.

huzzah.

[aphverse-confessions]

OK- I'm gonna be honest. I like MyStreet, but not as a show. More as a minecraft story series in general if that makes sense. (not comparing it to MCD in this bc its been waaay too long since ive watched MCD for me to actually write abt it like this)

srry if this is annoying lol, long post.

Some disclaimers!! A lot of these r assumptions btw! Pls do not take these things as 100% fact, this is just how i saw things/"theories". This is also not an attack on Jess, i dont have the authority to judge someone as a person and I dont claim to. these are very strictly my opinions on Mystreet, not Jess as a person. It's hard to take the early seasons very seriously considering its origins as essentially a tropey, slice-of-life version of MCD, and these tropes continue on throughout the series until (i can only assume) Jess went "oh, we're making this more serious, and if the series is more serious, these tropes (Travis being an anime perv, Katelyn being an anime tsundere, Nana's whole thing..) make certain characters unlikeable/weird/problematic/whatever else so we'll just write them out" (Travis confronting Katelyn, the whole Nana Ashida reveal).

While these are occasionally done well, to me it just seems like Jess trying to write out the tropey or bad things that came from the earliest versions of the characters without actually IRL addressing the initial issue with their design (with Nana even dating back as far as MCD, with her first appearance being 5 months before the the start of MyStreet. I'm counting the whole "Kawaii-chan" thing as problematic here bc to me it's.. weird.. but idk, im willing to be educated on that if im wrong!) maybe she doesnt NEED to address some of the character design choices irl but I feel like itd be better to clarify things (I could be wrong). There's a lot of earlier creative decisions (especially with things played as jokes) that don't help with the tone as the series became more and more serious, and even some things in those more serious seasons that were really questionable, and I often feel like I have to just decide which parts of certain episodes are canon or non canon because of things like that. Don't get me wrong, it's very good for something that started out with the technology that it did, but in my opinion it just doesn't really reach "show" quality to me. It leaves a lot to wish for. (I know that there are TV shows that have the same problems, but i wouldnt even bother watching them normally because they dont have the saving grace that is the fact that this is in Minecraft, a charming style of storytelling that kept me interested even when I had these major criticisms about the actual content of the story.) Anyways sorry for incoherent babbling! ^^; Just had to get that onto paper to see if I'm just being crazy or something. I know I might not be right about all (or even most) of the things I said here but thats just how it came across to me. Of course this might not fully convey what i mean to say or even say it in the right way, maybe eventually ill talk more abt this somewhere(I had other things I wanted to talk abt but was scared to) but im too nervous to say it without the safety of anonymity rn haha. I'm open to other opinions, learning, etc. especially if i said something in this post that was problematic or already disproven! /genuine A/N: srry abt forgetting that The Big Move came out before MyStreet (i never watched it unfortunately, probably wouldve mentioned it in the main part if I knew but I dont think it subtracts too much from what im trying to say) & for the overuse of the word problematic, I literally did not know how else to put it :,]

.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Tell me more about your feelings on Hazbin Hotel.

Part of me doesn’t want to answer this question, because of how popular this show is on Tumblr.

And I know that people will be like.

“What do you know, you’re a Christian, of Course you’d have some problems with it.”

Yes, I am going to disclose that. I am a Christian. Not ashamed of that. Still working to be a better one. But I can be objective enough to view it as a writer, and that at most my personal bias will only be a slight enhancement of my view.

And these are my unfiltered thoughts on this show.

But for my opinion of Hazbin hotel. The original Pilot was interesting. A place trying to reform sinners in the last place people would think to be reformed. (Spoilers ahead)

That pilot premise is interesting. You see Hell as a cesspool of the absolute worse people. (Like Los Angeles but with more cannibalism) and it takes the “Hell is other people approach”

The songs were fine, the animation was great, and the characters introduced were intriguing. So much potential depth to them, theories can speculate. And of course the big question of. “Can someone in hell actually be redeemed?” And we even have a character pointing out “of course not, they’re in hell. Their chance was before this?”

It raised this question of, if you know your doomed, why try to be a good person? And That is fascinating.

Then the show finally airs. And it’s just another “Heaven is corrupt” storyline. And it’s not even done well.

(The whole retelling of creation made my eyes roll. Trying to make Lucifer to be the good guy? How original (sarcasm). And not even done well. Because it’s Charlie narrating this, which makes it be like Charlie knows all this and is doing all of this pointlessly)

Hells gonna rise up against it and all that. The hotel was basically pointless.

The show goes on to constantly contradict itself at numerous points that leaves me more confused.

Yes there is an interesting character (Alastor) but outside of a great soundtrack and animation… the writing of the show is a mess.

It feels both rushed and too slow. The characters are speedrunning their arcs, yet the plot is crawling.

Let’s then not forget the fact that Angel power and weapons are said to be the only thing that Perma kills sinners and angels. Yet sir pretentious dies and instead of permadead, goes to heaven? What fucking logic is that?

Also it says how only Angel weapons and powers can hurt angels (they make a whole point about it) only to show Vaggie and Lute have a whole ass fight hurting eachother with tables and s***. Unless they’ve been blessed them chairs…

Also where do the souls that perma die go? Detroit? Because if Sir pretentious can go to heaven after dying, what the deal with all this? Is Hell actually hell? Seems more like purgatory.

And then you include the helluva boss lore as they take place in the same universe. And MORE questions get added.

But that’s a can of worms for another time.

More importantly, Charlie, the main character hardly gets any development moments. Her issues are TOLD not showed.

Vaggie is also a mess too, like her whole thing is protecting Charlie, and helping her. But then she gets told that she has to fight For Love and that’s how to win? You mean what she’s BEEN DOING THE WHOLE TIME?!

All the stuff with Angel Dust, the writing for that is fine when showing the messed up situation he’s in, but then after the Song “Loser, Baby” he’s suddenly months sober? Speedrunning a bit too much.

Side note: HOW DOES HEAVEN NOT KNOW HOW PEOPLE GET INTO HEAVEN?!

Like they genuinely seem like they don’t know? From my understanding, there is no Big Man making all the calls. Thats not corruption. Thats incompetence.

So if it’s just angels in charge, THEY should know. Like show that they’re tilting the scale or maybe denying certain people that DO follow the criteria. Because with the incompetency of it, it basically leaves the door open for potentially EVERYONE to get into heaven.

Yet then the show shows how awful people in hell are, like it’s clear there are people that deserve hell. Maybe I’m overthinking it, maybe I’m not thinking about it enough. But it’s a really dumb system.

But the biggest glaring hole in this show is the fact that there is no point for heaven to actually do the purge in the first place.

Hell being overpopulated shouldn’t matter. Only Angel power and weapons can actually hurt angels. Why would they worry about an uprising. Heaven could easily wipe hell. The only people that could probably do damage is Lucifer and the leaders of the rings of hell. And even then… That’s like 7 against ALL OF HEAVEN!? Even if we assume overlords and some high level demons could do similar… Heaven still takes it. (But then again the Lute and Vaggie fight might contradict that. Hard to say it’s so confusing)

That all aside, is it an awful show? No. It’s just so riddled with plotholes and pacing issues.

Would I recommend this show to people? No.

Would I recommend the sound track? Probably, the songs are catchy. Can’t deny that.

Everyone has their own opinions and tastes, but the show has too much of a mess for me.

[alienaiver]

Behind the scenes

the lovely @dira333 tagged me in this and its sooo fun!! the questions are so amazing and id like to give it my best with some in depth answers, since learning these facts about one of my favorite writers here was so fun !!!!! behind the scenes of writing is so good to share!!

Started writing: i think ive always been writing. i remember when we used to have one computer for the entire family in the early 00's and had little screentime, i set alarms to 4-5am (with no concept of what that Would Do To Me emotionally without sleep LMAO) JUST to get some time to write in peace. my first fanfictions i published was on a homemade forum page with a friend when i was 11!

Started blogging: ive had my tumblr since 2009-ish where ive been a rp'er over multiple times and published d gray man and no. 6 fanfictions in 2011-12ish. i was also active on livejournal before i found fanfiction.net !! but this specific blog was made in may 2021!!! the reader inserts came then :3

Followers: i actually JUST hit 300 two days ago!!! which is very exciting. i dont always look at the number, since it doesnt necessarily correlate with engangement, but its fun to see the uptick!!

Communication: i genuinely love love LOVE the social part of social media, and communications so important to me. theres nothing better than reblogs with comments you can bounce off of, asks, dm's and all that! sadly, my disability makes it so hard for me to have continuous contact and im 90% of the time the one to drop the ball when it comes to replying :(( thats why its extra important to me/special with the mutuals who keeps reaching out and dont have the same social expectations about replying. even if im unable to reply the day that i receive the message, it still brings great joy seeing the notif!

Likes: i dont mind them! generally its not that important to me whether or not my followers interact a lot. a like still means the world to me. of course a reblog is much better and engages so much more (+ boosts me!!), but theyre good for my soul, too!

Requests: i get very few requests :( i think i like them, but i havent gotten enough to actually get a feel on whether or not it kills my writing spirit? generally i get very excited to be able to deliver something and it gets me up from the bed to write, but i sometimes fear im not providing what they wanted! its anxiety-inducing in some ways, but i love a good little writing challenge !!

Writing: i loove love love love writing for hours at a time, hyperfixating on it. sadly, my cat snøfle is Very Jealous of both my laptop and pc. giving him a substitution sadly doesnt help</3 so my writing is often limited to specific times of day, and when he gets tired of my keyboard clack-clack-clacking, its time to put on some one piece while he naps on me! i wish i could write more works or just scenes on my phone, but it hurts my hands So Much, so i only write small one shots when im heavily inspired but snøfles in A Mood!!

genre wise im a fluffy type. maybe some hurt/comfort but always leaning towards comfort. id like to write more disability fics to spread both awareness and visibility, but i sometimes struggle with putting in my own disabilities and not make them too personal or too detailed for others to not relate. its an overthinking problem, so i often procrastinate writing them., bcos i fear itll be too niche! but i always get positive feedback (excpet for that one time with inked coffee lmao) so im not sure whats holding me back!!!

i always listen to music when i write, and it differs a lot. when i wrote the star and the earth i listened to a lot of medieval-inspired music, and made a specific playlist for that. but when i write on my modern au's or canon compliant bnha/haikyuu, anything goes!

i love putting in 'boring' every day stuff into my fics, or small scenes that dont necessarily advance the plot but just gives a feel of the characters.

speaking of snøfle ^ i am no longer allowed to write for the evening.... so ill start some apothecary diaries and enjoy a cold soda on this hot and humid evening !!! mwuah mwuah if u read this far thank you, and i love you. i love all of you <3333

no pressure tags as always but would love to hear the answers and get to know u all! @cup-of-fluff @true-deru @mirandabarma @illuminiscentboba @tetsuskei @threadbaresweater @krystalgaia @petriquors @ktsumu @moonbeamwritings @ohtokki