#actually I posted this yesterday but tumblr was giving me problems with this so I rewrote it today

[calliesmemes]

ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED COMEDIC RELIEF

ASSORTED QUOTES FROM TUMBLR TEXTPOSTS, X (formerly known as twitter) POSTS, TIKTOK, MEMES, AND OTHER SOURCES AROUND THE INTERNET

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“   Currently considering becoming a bother and a nuisance, maybe even a menace or a rascal. ”

“   Hungry? Eat the government. ”

“   Yes, I wanna fuck after every argument. ”

“   Silence, you uneducated peanut! ”

“  They should invent a being alive that isn’t so difficult. ”

“   Women have to think I’m hot or none of this matters. ”

“   Due to personal reasons I will be named an enemy of the state. ”

“   Being overdressed is a myth made up by people who didn’t want you to have fun and be sexy. ”

“   What even are daddy issues? Just traumatize your father back. ”

“   I LOVE complaining! You can’t take that away from me! ”

“   I went to the silly goose convention and they all knew you. ”

“   I’m simultaneously ‘I’m tired of this grandpa’ and ‘that’s too damn bad!’ ”

“   The word ew coming out of a pretty girl’s mouth holds so much power … I think that it can tear apart nations. ”

“   Someone made fun of my shoes and the whole time I just thought of ways to push them out the window. ”

“   If you’re short, simply get taller. ”

“   I better think twice? Buddy I don’t even think once. ”

“   My off putting looks, awkward demeanor, and strange behavior have captivated you. ”

“   There’s something deeply, fundamentally wrong with you. Can we kiss? ”

“   You are a fool. When you walk, clown music plays. ”

“   I mean yeah he’s evil and all but what if I were his favorite? ”

“   I really do hate thinking. ”

“   In my defense, I simply do not vibe with the law. ”

“   I’ve done nothing wrong. Except all the atrocities. Besides that, I’m innocent. ”

“   Sorry I couldn’t hear you over my internal monologue. ”

“   Of course you have white hair and trauma. ”

“   So apparently the bad vibes I’ve been feeling are actually ‘severe psychological distress’. ”

“   Stop calling me a bad person just because I’m orchestrating your downfall! ”

“   The more lip gloss I collect the longer I live. ”

“   Sorry that I am obsessed with you in the unhealthiest way possible. As if it's my fault ”

“   The multiple failed assassination attempts against me have helped build both character and self esteem. ”

“   I could be your loser boyfriend. Do you ever think about that? ”

“   Accidentally went and got myself killed yesterday, but god wont let me die so I’m back ”

“   What do you mean napping isn't a good coping mechanism? What do you mean my problems are still here? ”

“   Academic validation is required for my sanity. ”

“   RIP to everyone killed by the gods for hubris but I’m different and better. Maybe even better than the gods. ”

“   Researching the stages of grief to see if I can get them finished in ten minutes tops. ”

“   My parents were like I’m gonna make a child that is so beyond help. ”

“   It’s not easy to admit when you’re wrong, and that’s why I won’t do it. ”

“   Why can’t this family ever have a funky good time? ”

“   How do I show people that I’m more than my unethical career choice? ”

“   I fucked my way into this mess, and I’ll fuck my way out. ”

“   You look so biteable today. ”

“   Why am I suffering? I have so many correct opinions and takes. ”

“   I AM HAUNTED BY A PAST THAT I CANNOT GO BACK TO! anyways ”

“   Challenging authority, angering gods. The family business. ”

“   Third base is me telling you about my father. ”

“   Hey girl. Plagued by terrifying visions? ”

“   Got caught giving a fuck. Embarrassing. ”

“   I didn’t ‘miss’ the red flags; I saw them and thought that they looked sexy. ”

“   Do my dark circles and deteriorating health make me look hot? ”

“   I get my news from the only reliable source, cryptic symbolism in my dreams. ”

“   Another day of being a bisexual disaster. ”

“   I’m going to let myself be a little unhinged today, as a treat. ”

“   Some of you act like murder is such a big deal. ”

“   You wanna hunt me for sport so bad that it makes you look stupid. ”

“   You’re not a girlboss unless you’ve killed someone. ”

“   It’s so weird how no one ever has correct opinions about things except for me. ”

“   Hello, my love — I mean, my rival ”

“   No one is calling me baby and it’s outrageous I can’t believe it. ”

“   No talking stage. Mutual obsession and you see god in my eyes or nothing. ”

“   I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOOKUP CULTURE DIE IN MY ARMS ”

“   Yes baby your emotional walls are high and impenetrable can we kiss now? ”

“   Affection is disgusting. Drown me in it. ”

“   I am gatekeeping my respect from you. ”

“   Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions. ”

“   I am equal parts fuck around and find out and please don’t yell at me I’ll cry. ”

“   Short legs, big butt. I’m a corgi. ”

“   Fuck being the bigger person; I’m going to start biting people. ”

“   Well that wasn’t very slay of you! ”

“   May I please get a crumb of affection? ”

“   I crave power! Please don’t yell, though; I’m sensitive. ”

“   You call it a near death experience; I call it a vibe check from God. ”

“   Here are some scissors. Now cut it out. ”

“   Might commit a little tomfoolery, maybe even some shenanigans. ”

“   All these flavors, and you choose to be salty. ”

“   How can I live, laugh, love in these conditions? ”

“   What if I said ‘to be honest’ but then lied? ”

“   I'm financially at a stage where I understand why people do fraud. ”

“   Yes I may be evil and morally corrupt, but I’m also incredibly beautiful and I think that makes up for it honestly. ”

“   Debates are stupid. Why would I want to sit down and argue with someone blatantly dumber than me? ”

“   I forget but I do NOT forgive.. I'm just walking around hating bitches can't remember why ”

“   Ding dong your opinion is wrong! ”

“   I’m coming for your kneecaps. ”

“   You dropped your nose you fucking clown. ”

“   Are you a fire alarm? ‘Cause you are really fucking loud and annoying. ”

“   Call me an escalator, because I let people down. ”

“   I love me a good lesbian scandal! ”

“   If you can’t run away from your problems, you’re not running fast enough. ”

“   Everything I want to do is illegal. ”

“   Don’t make me hit your ankle with my Barbie scooter! ”

“   I tell gay jokes because I am a gay joke. ”

“   Fuck! I dropped my mental stability! ”

[melanieph321]

Hi lovely,

I’m actually kind of new to Tumblr so I don’t know how this works but you were actually one of the first bloggers that popped up on my feed with your post about Kenan Yildiz 😭and I really enjoyed reading it so much. And then I clicked on your feed and noticed that you take request I don’t know if you do that anymore but I wanted to give it a try. I was thinking that maybe the reader and Kenan are dating but keeping it private since she’s the sister of one of his best friends on the team (maybe Vlahović) So when Juventus celebrated their win ,against another club, they went to a restaurant to celebrate and the waiter was constantly hitting on the reader which made Kenan very jealous so he made sure the waiter knows who you belong with(maybe giving the reader a hickey) and he made sure that the waiter saw how Kenan followed you to the bathroom.

I don’t know if that makes sense to you but anyways just wanted to get that of my chest 💕🎀

Love this! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🔥🔥🔥🔥

Kenan Yildiz x Reader - Claim Me Part 1/3

Enjoy!

"I have to go."

"What, no. Five more minutes."

"Kenan." You chuckled. The hardest part was always to get him off of you. After Juventus successful Copa Italia win against Atalanta, it was practically impossible. Kenan had you escaping yesterdays celebrations by sneaking back to his hotel room. There you did unspeakable things to each other. Fun. But unspeakable things.

"Fuck, you're so hot." He mumbled and planted soft kisses against your neck.

"Thank you." You giggled and did not reject the way he wanted to keep you in bed with him. However, there was just one small problem...

"I have to get back to my room before my family notices that I'm gone."

"Relax, I saw your sister dancing on top of a table before we left the club last night. I'm sure she'll still be passed out drunk by the time you get back."

"Yes, my sister perhaps, but my brother won't be."

Kenan raised his head from the crook of your neck. The mentioning of Dusan always set him off, especially if you mentioned him in a moment of intimacy, which has happened more than once before.

"He'll be the first one to look for me." You nodded.

Kenan sighed and rolled onto his back, letting you go.

"Thank you." You bent down to kiss his lips before rushing to the bathroom. However, you did not remain in there for long.

"Fuck!"

You were quick to stumbled back into the room, a hand covering your throat and a struck of panic in your eyes.

"What?" Kenan asked, seeing the expression on your face.

"I hate you."

"What did I do?"

"Kenan, you didn't."

"I didn't do what?" He said, rightfully confused.

You released the hand covering your throat, revealing a hickey the size of a coin.

"Fuck."

"Yes, fuck you." You sprung towards the bed, ambushing your boyfriend with harmless punches to the sheets.

"Baby." He chuckled. "I'm really sorry, okay."

"Sorry? Sorry won't cut it Kenan, Dusan will kill me if he sees it."

Kenan caught your hands, preventing you from throwing any more punches. "You mean me." He said. "I'm pretty sure I'll be the first one your brother would want to kill."

"Think again. He doesn't even know that we're seeing each other Kenan,  I'm the one he's gonna kill."

"Well, maybe it's time we tell him that we're together then?"

You paused, eyes searching your boyfriend's face. He had soft features. Trying to cover them up with a cut to his eyebrow only made him look more like a puppy dog. "You're out of your mind." You said and climbed off of him.

"Right. I'm out of my mind for wanting to be able to hold my girlfriends hand in public, or better yet, kiss her in public."

"Yes, Kenan. You're out of your mind for that. I've told you that my brother won't allow it."

"Well, maybe it's time you stick up to your brother then? Or perhaps our relationship is not worth the hassle?"

It's not that easy, you thought.

Despite what Kenan thought, it was not that easy. You had always been the baby of the family, the youngest three. Your oldest brother Dusan always watched over you like a hawk. But as you grew older, you began to feel suffocated by his constant protection. You longed for the freedom to make your own decisions and live your own life. But that wasn't the case right now.

"I'm back!" You announced, after receiving about a dusin text message from Dusan on your way up the hotel elevator. You had just shut the door behind you when his head popped out from the bathroom.

"Where have you been?" He asked. Getting up before seven AM after a night of celebrations was mental. But that's just who your brother was, a control freak in all things.

"I was just out for a run." You said.

"Wearing heels?"

He shot a glance at the pair that you were holding in your hands.

"Yes, Dusan. In my heels. It's a trend, look it up."

He shook his head but did not question you further. "Remember, be ready for lunch with the team this afternoon."

"Right." You crossed the joint living area on your way to your bedroom.

"I mean it, Y/N. Remind Nina to be ready on time as well."

"Yeah, yeah. I will."

You shut the door behind you and were quick to peel down the laces to your dress, stepping out of it. You left it on the floor,  amongst the other scattered clothes in the dungeon that you and your sister had been sharing for the weekend. She lay fast asleep as you joined her under the covers. Sometimes, you wondered how the two of you turned out so chill while Dusan got the off gene. I guess you'd never find out.

[purpdrawsthings]

I SWEAR THIS IS THE FINAL ONE

God this app is going to be the end of me.

For anyone asking where their oc was, don't be afraid to ask me! =3

@ominus-potato @h4ppysoki @fenicearts420 @icedbeverageenjoyer @alex-dolmatescu2-0 @zenith-astral @moonlight12086 @sakuwura-meow-meow @josiekatxd @echostarsys @neo91502 @smgx-pez

Special mentions!

@birdy-four @scimagic @fruit-sy

Links to the two past posts!

First

Second

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE DAMN ANIMATIC CUZ I NEED TO.

Finally.. With that settled..

Was this worth it? Idfk.

I am so burnt out..

This thing was made in both Flipaclip and Alight motion. Give all the thanks to my fingers and thumb chat 💜💜💜💜

Now this thing was originally supposed to premier on the 31st right at new years. Problem was, IT HAD 2K+ FRAMES AND I STARTED AT THE 21ST. WORSE, I DECIDED THAT IT WAS THE AMAZING DECISION TO ADD 85 PEOPLE AND DID NOT PLAN THIS. This thing has got me doubting myself, I think I almost went crazy.

I did 500 frames for the first day then 200.. Then 100... THEN LESS THAN 100. By the 31st, new years had past. Meaning it was outdated. Might as well finish it right? I took a break for almost week before going back at the project thinking "WHAT AM I DOING??". I finished by yesterday and uh.. I did like 500+ frames from yesterday cuz I was that desperate to get rid of my misery. I edited the thing today and everything was ready right?

WRONG.

I HAD TO DEAL WITH THE PROBLEM OF ME ADDING THE 4 MINUTE ANIMATION IN THE POST, WAITING FOR IT TO SAVE, ONLY FOR IT TO REJECT ME. This went on for a total of 3 hours with me just WAITING for it to let it save while I watched videos from my tv. Eventually, I gave up and decided to split the video.

Thought that was end? NO. I REALIZED THAT I COULDN'T PUT 2 VIDEOS IN ONE POST, NOR CAN I ADD MORE THAN 50 MENTIONS IN ONE POST. These past few hours was stressful my god. Finally seeing it end was a relief.

I am NOT doing this again.

Anyways, with that outta the way.. I'll get on with my uh.. Statement for Christmas!

Thank you for everyone for an amazing and awesome year. It's been a wonderful one and I cant express the amount of gratitude and love to each every person I've met this year. Even if it was for a short while, I still enjoyed every moment.

I can't believe that joining one fandom would get me this far, it blows my mind because of how many connections I've able to make because of this one fandom. I give my highest gratitude to the SMG4 community, and the amazing people who are in it.

I started my early days in this internet in amino. Although small, it let me explore new stuff and new people. And to that, ill say a thank you to all of my among us friends, and the community itself. This whole fandom inspired me to make my own series, create my own ocs from scratch, and slowly grow. Although during that period I didn't get the amount of attention I have now, it was a great, small place to start off as a small creator.

Back to the SMG4 community, I would like to say thank you for 200+ followers on both Tumblr and Twitter! Old me would've exploded so many times because of that milestone. I can't believe I have so many people I look up to that actually follow me, like what you guys actually notice me?! I'd like to say so much more but it just really flabbergasted me of how far I've gotten. I can't even think of the words or anything! All I can say is thank you for the experiences I've had. All of this couldn't have been done without you.

It's time for some little statements for all the people I adore.

@tiredsmashbros @strange0-0storm @its-a-me-mango @cookiepopcat - Omg I see y'all as the big artists of the community sishsishishdid interacting with every single one of you was a pleasure and it was amazing! I don't usually interact with people I admired or looked up to due to me being a bit shy.. But y'all are so amazing! Everytime any one of you would reply to my posts, I get a huge squeel! I was getting noticed like help??? You guys are like one the first few artists that I saw when starting in the community, you guys can't imagine how much of an inspiration you all are to me, and for that, thank you for everything, big or small! 💜💜💜

@rr3d2y @mikchi8 - AKO AND MIKCHI YOU TWO SILLY PPL GUHHHHHHH. First off, AKO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! YOU'RE LITERALLY MY FIRST SMG4 RELATED FREN!! I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THAT OUR FIRST INTERACTION QUICKLY JUST MADE US FRIENDS LIKE, YOU SO COOL??? AND MIKCHI, ALTHOUGH WE DON'T INTERACT OFTEN, I FIND YOU SILLY, AND GOOFY. STOP PUTTING PREGNANT EMOJIS GUHHHH!!!! /silly You two are so silly sihsisgdishsishdidg love you two 💜💜💜💥💥💥💥

@coralalala64 @bear-boi-5 @libbytwq - You three are also silly like what. SOYYYYYYY I fucking love ur artstyle it's so recognizable.. I LOVE UR VIRAL VIRUS AU!!! I swear I look at EVERY SINGLE POST relating to the AU like I AIN'T JOKING I READ ALL OF THEM YES THAT'S WHAT I DO IN MY FREE TIME. The way you incorporate horror into your drawings is amazing, IT JUST WORKS! Coral you goof stop spreading the creachurs everywhere now my place stinks... /silly anyways, YOUR TRADITIONAL ARTSTYLE IS AMAZING! I FIRST SAW YOU THROUGH YOUR SILLY CREACHUR DOODLES AND I LOVED THEM!! TALKING TO YOU IS ALSO AMAZING CUZ YOU SO FUNNY! Somebody kick Ignatius away from SMGL:E /silly LORE YOU SO COOL!!!! THE THINGS YOU ARE WORKING ON WITH L:E ARE SO INTERESTING PLEASE DO KEEP ON COOKING I WILL EAT IT. I swear to god I don't know I how this all happened but I swear you three are cool af. 💥💥💥💥✨✨✨✨

@michealscorneroftheinternet @grinnames - WHERE TO FUCKING START... Micheal, I. Love. Your. AU's. SHOUTOUT TO @dorriostareyes TOO CUZ YOU COOL! I SHOULD'VE ADDED YOU IN THE SPECIAL MENTIONS GUHHHHHHH I'M SORRY!!!!! Continuing.. I LOVE YOUR THREE AU'S, UNDERTALE AU? AMAZING. CHANGE IN SCRIPT? ABSOLUTE CINEMA. THE FALLEN? AN ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECE!!!! You can't imagine how much I love your content... I won't stop making fanart for you so that I'll actually explode your circuits =3 /silly /hj GRINNAMES I LOVE YOUR GODBOX AU. LIKE I LOVE ME TWO CORRUPTED SMG'S CONTROLLED BY THE GODBOX 💜💜💜 They are so silly like they could on a killing spree.. OH ALSO UR ARTSTYLE IS VERY VERY PRETTY. I LOVE IT! You two have amazing AU'S like god aishoahsoshsoshsohsosh💥💥💥💥💥💥

@icedbeverageenjoyer @h4ppysoki @jovialoddity @bidinonsense @fbanjex @4thwallbreakerdraws2 - do they all have in common? MR PUZZLES! Every time I see yalls Puzzles content I have a smile on my face that I can't describe cuz yalls Puzzles content is so peak, I LOVE ME SOME SILLY HANDSOME TV MEN CONTENT THANK YOU!!!!! Oh btw @alex-dolmatescu2-0 don't worry you're invited to the club too don't be shy 💜💜💜

@eliscz @opossol @theartistisme43 - YOU ALL SO COOL LIKE SOSHSIDHDODHOSHDODHD. Opposol I know you aren't involved in the SMG4 community much but I love ur content it's just so amazing and I love the cartoons kinda fuzzy art style. Elis also know you're in your sun n' moon hyper fixation phase but broadcast madness au is PEAK. Cantro I love your scarred verse like it a so interesting I love scarred SMG4 sm. Someone beat up that tv man 😔💥💥💥 /silly

@art-parasi-te @superluigiglitchy - You two are amazing people! Hamlos you should know by now that I am actually kinda into Dandys World and I even have my own oc so.. IDFK WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT WHAT AM I SPITTING??? Squib yaoi gotta be my fav ship 💜 PJ! I love ur silly Oliver squib yaoi content like HE IS SO CUTE SOMEBODY MAKE A MARKETABLE PLUSHIE OUT OF HIM!! So yeah you two so coollllllll ✨✨✨✨✨

This animatic was made to express my gratitude and love to every single on fo the people in this community, featured or not, you are all awesome. Hopefully this will get some smaller creators the attention they deserve 💜

Big or small, we all can achieve out dreams, next year ;)

Merry Christmas / holidays everyone 💜

I am so not okay chat

[norringtondeservestheworld]

Today it's the day you all. And to celebrate this I'm gonna play a really funny game.

Rereading this I realized I talked most about them being misogynists/incest enthusiasts/narcissists and most people are following me for Got/Braime or for Detroit: Become Human, and it doesn't make sense to me to list for the millionth time all the stupid things GOT characters did in the last season because who is in the famdom already know, so I'm gonna rewrite Detroit: Become Human as the two would have done, making its characters as OOC as the GOT characters were in the last season of Thrones, so who is following me for DBH will understand what us, GOT fans, went through.

I'm legally obliged to tag @hamartia-grander because I know she will love this.

So, let's begin.

Kara will help Todd to torture and kill Alice. She will enjoy it. Once she is dead, they gonna fuck.

Connor didn't deviate and he didn't care about the revolution because he doesn't care of androids and he doesn't care about accomplish his mission neither, so he is gonna leave for Hawaii to spend his time doing nothing gossiping about the stupid humans.

Markus will accept on Jericho only the newest models and stronger androids. The old ones are weak and a burden and aren't worth it and they can choke. Oh and his life comes before anything else. He is the leader so he is the important one and he is the boss. If an android doesn't join will get killed.

North will leave the revolution because she fallen in love with a human who is abusive and treats her like the sex robot she is (it's Gavin, you'all! Best ship ever!) and Simon will betray Markus getting him killed to save his own life in exchange (because he is a coward). Josh left too because he is actually a serial killer who enjoys to kill every human he met and this is way better than fighting for androids' rights, and Jerry will help him because he likes to kill humans too.

Hank and Perkins are banging each other. They don't care about androids or humans, they are just horny.

Zlatko will remove his head and it's revealed he wasn't the one who was torturing all that androids for fun. It was Ralph.

Wow what a masterpiece. Unfortunately, with the fact 95% of the characters being robots it's impossible for them to have biologically related relationships so it wasn't possible for the two hacks put incest on it (oh no!!! * sad face*)

Next week will be released on Netflix "3 Body Problem" and I'm here to remind you all this series is made and created by not only the two most incompetent writers in the world, but also by two misogynists who wrote rape scenes even when it wasn't needed by the plot, find incest sexy and hot and tried multiple times to romanticize it, have zero respect for their actors seeing them as parrots who are there only to repeat the words they wrote for their characters and are so narcissists that they compared themselves to God.

I'm not going to say don't watch it because everyone should do what they want with their free time, just be aware that THESE are the people you are going to support by watching the series.

[bettystonewell]

HELLO BETH !

Thank you for your question (I‘ll reply to it asap. Need a moment to think about it 😂)

Now it’s my turn hehehe (thanks to you and @sorryitsmyfirstdayonearth, you infected me with the tumblr zoomies!)

YOU‘RE MY FIRST VICTIM

Remember when you said that old lady kept asking you about the bible?

Well. She returns for a third time. And just when you wish someone would drag you away, she’s interrupted by a loud baby screaming in the line behind her.

You both turn to see this:

What would you do? Realistically and otherwise 😉🧡

WARNING: self/reader insert fic ahead + Aussie slang, but there’s also DEAN ❤️

Well, Hello Jolly!

OH, my friend. I don’t think you know what you’re asking. I know I seem so kind AND I AM, but I’m also a terrible person.

Before I answer your question, I need to give you some context, so I’m breaking this into two parts. The backstory, and then an actual story at the end featuring Dean, yours truly, and the old Bible lady.

You’re looking at close to 3k words.

*For anyone who might be reading, and are scratching their heads at this ask, HERE’s the context for it

(If you scroll down to the next purple line like the one above, you’ll find the fic)

My day job is what we call a merchandiser here in Australia. I’m one of those people who goes from store to store, representing the brand I work for. I fix displays, tidy, fold, unpack all the pretty new stock, etc. Because of all that, I’m also one of THOSE PEOPLE who tells you they don’t work for the store you need help in, even though I’m clearly working. And guess what? I’m allowed to say it if you’re not shopping for my brand.

Now, normally on the day to day, I have this weird default mode. I hate confrontations, and I would rather back down and walk away, or in this case be polite over telling old ladies all about twigs and berries.

So if I see a customer that clearly needs help, I have two options. I can tell them straight up, “Sorry, I don’t work here. I'm just working for XXX brand,” but sometimes I’m just not in the mood and what I do most often is this:

I’m fucking Houdini! The second you come near me, with something that I can tell is not my problem, I’m noping out. So today, well, technically, it was yesterday by the time of posting this, I saw an older lady doing an Austin Powers multiple point turn with her shopping trolley a couple of racks over. You know this:

Well, I did this:

I’m terrible. She knocked some stock over that wasn’t mine, and I fucking ran 😂

Which brings me to the crying baby.

Now. I have two kids. Love ‘em to pieces. People keep telling me I should try working in child care or becoming a teacher’s aide so I can work at my children’s school and work school hours and to that, I say HELL NO.

I love my kids. I worked as a teacher in Japan for four years and half that time I was teaching little kids. I LOVED those kids, too. I got two marriage proposals out of my junior high kids (that sounds super dodgy, but it was honestly 11-13 yo’s shouting out “Beth-Sensei! Will you marry me?” while I stood at the front of the classroom, straight-faced and trying not to laugh - seriously I have some stories to tell). BUT now that I have my own? I don’t love other people’s children. And I especially dislike babies.

You see? Terrible.

To further explain, until I got to the point in my life when I got clucky and thought having a baby would be a great idea, babies scared me! If a coworker came in with a brand new baby, guess what I was doing? Yup:

I’ll admit they’re cute, but unless I know you, I ain’t coming near that thing with a ten-foot pole. What do I do with it? What if I drop it? I might be polite (yk, my default mode) if I have to stand near you. I might agree with whomever I’m with on how cute they are, but honestly, that puppy across the road is looking a whole lot sweeter. Unless they’re my babies, of course, and even then, at their current ages, that puppy is looking mighty cute…

My four-year-old asked me to make him a toasted ham and cheese sandwich for dinner instead of the dinner I was actually making for us. I’m a nice mum. I said sure. When he asked if he could help, it was a little frustrating, but I let him because I don’t want him to be a man baby who can’t cook for himself when he’s older.

We got butter everywhere. We had a tantrum when I suggested he get his stool so he could reach the bench better. He wanted me to get it for him, I caved and got it (great parenting Beth, really sticking to your guns), and after all that, when he sat down to eat it, he wanted to pull off the ham and ditch the rest…

Okay, yes, a baby wouldn’t do that. But if I saw a guy like Dean, struggling to deal with Bobby-John, he’s the baby in my eyes, and I’m running away from him.

So to your question:

What would I do, realistically or otherwise, if I was being bothered by the old lady and her bible, and I turned around and saw Dean and the baby?

My first thought was, wait, do I know who he is? Is he Dean zapped not only out of the tv, but also Down Under for whatever reason? Is it Jensen Ackles hanging out in my local shopping centre, or is this Dean, Dean, and everything in the show is real, I’m in their universe playing a dumb civilian, and for whatever reason, he’s ended up Down Under?

Side note: Do you know what a down under kiss is? Or that in Australia we have a euphemism for vagina - the map of Tassie. It’s named after that tiny little island of Tasmania (that no one cares about) at the bottom of our map. Go check it out. Notice the shape… I’m not making this up.

Yes, I’m an over-thinker. Don’t ask me to tell you my favourite movie, I will sweat buckets thinking you’re going to hold me to my answer for the rest of my life.

I think you see where I’m going with this, but I’m still going to humour you with a swashbuckling tale of this situation.

*Cracks knuckles*

FOUR ADULTS AND A CRYING BABY

Starring: Dean Winchester, Sam, yours truly (in third person), the old lady with the Bible, and Bobby-John Summary: It was just a normal work day, until it wasn’t - or - holy fuck! That’s Dean Winchester! Why does he have a baby? Warnings: language, craziness

A Monday morning in March. A week since cyclone Alfred was supposed to hit her corner of the state, and she’s frazzled. Forgot she’d promised her manager she’d go into the store on Friday to make up for the visit she couldn’t get to on account of school being closed. 

Why couldn’t that cyclone have just hit? Really. All that fuss, and nothing to show for it. Yes. The fence had to be tied up with a zip tie so it wouldn’t fall down, “we will rebuild,” but where was the big emergency that made having the kids at home for almost a week worthwhile?

The fighting? The tantrums? Okay, she was lucky she didn’t lose her roof. Or the power. Her mum and dad are currently cut off from the main road in their town and can’t leave. Friends are running electricity through a generator because in their pocket of their tiny suburb, they still don’t have power. Yet SHE complains.

No bother. The kids have been dropped off. She’s going to treat herself to some McDonald’s breakfast and an iced latte. Chill for a bit in the food court, working on her writing before she goes to work. 

Her own slice of heaven, minus the noise, but she’s got her earphones for that. And she sits there at the little bench, charging her phone at the same time because Tumblr likes to drain her battery hard and she needs the device for work. Her hand burns under the heat of her iPhone’s blue, but cracked finish. 

She types away. Her fingers glide over the keyboard with ease as she whips up a headcanon about her current favourite hunk of spunk, Dean frigging Winchester, and why he likes to get slapped in the face by a woman wearing a Zorro mask during sex. 

She thanks H for that. H was a genius when she sent that ask. Hilarious H. 

Our heroine giggles to herself as she changes words like breasts to jubblies, and dicks to swords. She slides in another reference to Snickerdoodles & Special Sauce. She refers to Dean’s junk as a set of twigs and berries the second time. 

Damn, Austin Powers, you really are the man.

She’s so focused on her task at hand that she gets a little surprise when out of the corner of her eye she notices someone approaching. Someone who stares. 

But she is nice. She’s not feeling all that terrible at the moment. Frustrated, sure, but this is just a tiny kink in the machine that is her day. She’s enjoying her coffee. Her children are someone else’s problem. And she has not a care in the world. Daydreaming of Dean just does that. 

“Hi,” she says to the little old lady, smiling at her. 

She smiles back. Of course she does, because she is in default mode. She is nice. But inside? Inside, she’s screaming. She has her suspicions. Little old lady, frail and smiling. One who reaches her hands out to take hold of hers. One that’s not afraid to interrupt someone younger than her, busy on her phone and wearing earphones. One that lives in this part of her state, too.

She’s gotta be a Jehovah’s Witness. Or something similar. There’s no way this old lady wants to chat with her about anything other than god.

“Hello,” the old lady says. “Could I talk to you about—”

“No sorry.” There is no way she’s even letting the word slip from the sweet old lady’s mouth. Is she sweet? Really? Coming on up into her space to talk about a man in the sky. Chuck was not all that sweet in the show in the end. What does this lady know?

A smile exchanges between both women again, and the discussion, what lack there is of one, ends. 

The old lady goes to another unsuspecting group, and she’s left alone. 

But we all know that wasn’t the case. We know she moves. She moves closer to the store she’s working in that day, trailing through the shopping centre. Under the bright lights, dodging other customers going about their day.  

She passes the juice bar, Boost Juice, and she contemplates getting one if she has time when she finishes. Past a shoe store, a phone one, the giant grocery chain she shops at, but refuses to go to this one. She hates people, and this one is always busier. 

She finds another seat, a cluster of them right out front of the store she’s working at that day, and finishes what she’s doing. She knows she needs to start work soon in order to get to school pick up on time, so she’s quick. And as she finishes up her final edits, lo-and-behold, who appears, but none other than the old lady, wanting to talk about her Bible again. 

The transaction is quicker, thank god - the irony - and she’s left alone in peace again to finish and upload her piece. But it’s not over. No. Her other online friend J has decided it is not so, and so we jump in time to after the shift, when our heroine decides to pick up a few things from the same grocer she avoids.

Imagine if you will, dear friends. A large Australian grocery store. At the front, rows of shopping trolleys, a help desk behind them where cigarettes and gift cards are sold. Checkouts to the right, fresh fruit and vegetables to the left, and rows upon rows of groceries behind all that.

She likes to use the self serve checkouts, working in retail and often being time poor, she likes to do it herself. Knows how to work the registers faster than the other customers, but not today. She’s buying a carton of Coke, the drink kind, not the kind you sniff. She doesn’t even know what to do with the other stuff, let alone where to buy it.

So she stands in the twelve items-or-less line. She has one item, she’s allowed, and she’s waiting when lo-and-behold, guess who shows up?

How long can one old lady go around talking to people about the Bible in a shopping centre? Their last encounter was three hours ago… But of course she’s forgotten that, and she looks up at her with those kind old lady eyes and opens her mouth to speak when the shriek of a baby rampages through the air.

Dear lord. Was the kid dropped on their head? The sound is deafening. Her eardrums throb as the high-pitched sound pierces through the small skin that covers them and protects her brain.

Of course, she’s smiling. She’s in public, and she’s still in nice mode, but it’s wearing thin.

She looks to the sound with many regrets, but is stunned like a mullet who’s jumped into her father’s tinny, and slapped her young brother on the head. 

Dean frigging Winchester? No. No way!

She rubs her eyes as the cartoons her kids force her to watch on repeat love to do, and she takes a second glance.

“Oh how sweet,” old lady coos, but we know she’s delusional. She wants to tell people about god and forgets when she’s already asked them twice.

Our heroine thinks she’s delusional, too. Maybe cyclone Alfred was worse than they thought and she’s Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. Bumped her head? Had her house fall on a witch. Oz was in an episode of Supernatural, right?

Is that what’s happening here?

The guy who stands in the next checkout line over to her has Jensen Ackles’ face. If it’s not him, it’s a damn good doppelgänger, parading around in Dean’s clothing. What the hell?

He holds the screaming child up in the air, much like he did to Bobby-John, and - oh my god - is that Jared Padelecki, too?

What the hell are they doing not only in Australia, but in a suburban little supermarket, dressed as Sam and Dean?

She takes out her phone, close at hand, and opens up her camera. No way she’s not taking a photo of this. But she’s also torn. She doesn’t want to miss this opportunity. She’s going to the Sydney Supernatural Convention in June and those guys won’t be there, just Misha, and god knows who else, but there’s also a baby, and it’s screeching.

She takes a few photos, all while watching the fiasco. What would she say? What would she do? She doesn’t want to go near that baby. Her tummy is flipping all over the place, and the top of her lip twinges at the thought of ever saying hi.

They’re celebrities. She’s far beneath them, especially now, covered in work fluff, dust and sweat.

Her hair, frazzled. She’s wearing her retail black. She’s a hot mess, but she’s not bringing the hot. She’s only hot because she’s burning up with a fire that just comes around Jared and Jensen, or so she’s heard. She’s sure feeling it!

“Come on Bobby-John. What do you need, huh?” Jensen says, and man, talk about method acting. Where’s the cameras and crew?

“Dude. Would you do something?” Jared hisses loud enough so that she hears.

Should she be smiling? Should she expect someone to jump out any minute and say, “Smile, you’re on candid camera!”

Fuck that. 

She pays for her goods. She looks at the two men, even goes up a little closer, and tries to listen in on what they're saying some more. Of course, she pretends to be looking at her phone while all this is happening. It’s not even pretend. She’s zooming in on the photos to study their faces and clothes.

“We need to find a, ah, a working phone. Call Bobby. See if he can figure out what the hell’s going on,” Jared says as they move towards her now. Trolly full of baby supplies. 

“Hey, do you think the shifter’s a witch, too? A wifter?” Jensen gives a couple of heh’s. The same one he gave when Dean joked with Cas about the Ghoulpires. 

Damn. They’re good.

She glances at them, meets Jensen’s eyes. Fuck, he’s so handsome. That jaw. Those brilliant greens pick up the logo of the supermarket’s apple swirl. His smile as he catches her looking is lopsided. Embarrassed, but also curious. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he says, and she can’t breathe. They smell divine. That’s some woody cologne, and a touch of leather? Who cares! Jensen Ackles is talking to her with his Dean voice! 

She chuckles. It’s more of a choke, a whine, a moan? 

She can’t move. Can’t run away. She’s stupefied in the spot in the middle of the shopping centre while Jared Padelecki stares at her with a cocked brow. Hair tucked behind his ears, pushing a trolley and a baby, still screeching by the way, Jensen still at his side. 

“Don’t suppose we could borrow your phone there?” he gestures at the phone in her hand.

Without a word, because her lungs are still dried up, and she’s now having palpitations cause of the kid, she hands it over, fingers brush against his, and she’s now stuck there, only now realising their photographs are right there on the screen.

“What the hell are you doing taking our pictures” Jensen is no longer happy. There’s no goofy smile on his dial. Shit, she’s going to be staring down at an NDA soon.

“Sorry, I should’ve asked,” she says. Bow’s her head like she’s still living in Japan. 

“Do you know something?” Jared adds. His face is more relaxed, somewhat amused. 

What should she say, what should she do? “I, ah,” she lets out another weird laugh that squeaks in her throat, “I was too afraid to come up and say hi.” She shrugs. Where’s the old Bible lady now?

“Say hi? What? Do you know us?” There’s that Dean voice again, and it’s travelling to places she doesn’t wanna admit. He’s a married man.

“Ah, yeah? You’re Jensen, and he’s Jared,” she says, and at first the latter just stares. 

His mouth opens and closes. His green eyes go wide. “J-j-Jensen?” He turns to Jared, who’s looking just as shocked. “Son of a bitch,” he says, and she’s swooning. 

He said the line!

“Where are we?” he turns back to her, and now she’s confused. 

She states the name of the suburb they’re in, and when they both still look confused, which is impossible. How else did they get there? Come to think of it, where’s Cliff and their bodyguards?

“Brisbane?” she says, and still they stare.

“Queensland?”

She has to wave at their blank expressions. The damn kid still cries like a banshee.

“Australia?”

And this is where I leave you my loves! I hope that was enjoyable. If you want to know more, you will have to beg for it ❤️

I’m tagging my moots/readers who usually seem to appreciate the crazy, have enjoyed Aussie!reader content, who I know are parents themselves or have become involved in this for whatever reason - I’m SOOOOOO SORRY (but also not really) @waynes-multiverse @supernotnatural2005 @ambiguous-avery @sorryitsmyfirstdayonearth @voodoochildthings @middleearthislife @ladysparkles78 @losers-clvb @mostlymarvelgirl @my-stories-vault

[ugly-bullet]

Yesterday, my dear kids, I caught some nasty Tumblr glitch. It spooked me a bit (shame on me!), and more importantly — interrupted my unholy ritual of summoning the goblins from local purgatory. But tonight, surprise, I need them again! Because, you know, some people never change. My neighbours, that is. So, let's do it again!

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

I see that recently mаss shoоters adopted, let's say, kind of tradition. Just before you go and do your pew-pew, you need to post a photo of your legs in some kind of cargo pants and military boots, while sitting on the toilet. And this is a HUGЕ RЕD FLАG! After seeing that on someone's social media, the cоps should rush to the scene with sirens blaring!

So, you see, I'm sitting on the loo right now...

THE TIME HAS CОME!!!

(No? Why not? My legs are still fairly good looking. Yeah, I don't have cargo pants, which is a bummer, but I hope my pajamas would do the trick, and I've also got some nice heavy-duty boots. And don't forget the toilet paper! You see, I am in the toilet already, so it means I'm ready, I'm all set!...)

WHY WОULD I DО SUCH A HORRIBLE THING?

Well, actually, a have a slight problem. The thing is that my lovely neighbors have been beating the shit out of each other, throwing stuff into the walls, and shouting the words of love and passion on top of their lungs for the last two hours at least.

They really seem to enjoy it and do it on a regular basis, I get it, people have different hobbies, who am I to judge? It's even funny and entertaining sometimes, and I learned a lot of useful English idioms from their interactions, but right now I want to fucking rest!

And the cоps were called, of course, but they are still out there... where agent Mulder never dreamed to be...

So I've been forced to employ my last resort! I am posting this fancy look in a desperate hope that the coрs will finally come and will take my old tired ass to a quiet cozу jail cell. Or maybe the asses of my neighbours for a change?..

Or, as always, I'd have to do all the work by myself — to go out and shооt those drunken assholes with my dirty slavic insults before the cоps would come and give me some quiet time?... Just asking...

[attyrocious]

cross posting yesterday's rambling thread for posterity and because tumblr lets me edit things. anyway this is a sorta long thing and i might add things i forgot to mention in the twt thread

i tend to draw on-model canon because im a coward + just personal preferences. but the way i convert the canon designs into my artstyle is that i take the distinct features oda gives them and then combine it with personal headcanons to complete what should look like a unique human. Starting with Trafalgar Law, who is unfortunately a bland-ass conventionally pretty boy

someone commented a while ago the law hat drawing tutorial i made a while ago didn't make much sense and i realize its bc of the specific way i draw law's face: heart shaped (ba-dum-tss). That meaning, a narrow chin widening into a mild defined jaw, wide cheekbones, and up to his know-it-all brain dome.

given that, the pudgy guitar pick shape of his head i mentioned here should make a lot more sense.

i don't think this design point is unique to me, as most conventional pretty anime boy gets given jaws like this. a lot of law artists tend to veer into this head shape. just how life be sometimes. other points: flat, thick eyebrows is bc im a hairy gal and i need to feel better about myself.

Killer gets to be more interesting, because he shouldn't be considered conventionally attractive. my idea behind killer's is that those individual features is smth he would be insecure with enough to hide himself in a helmet but i draw him with all the love in the world actually. i'd like to think its how kid sees him or yknow, law, bc he's my kin assigned blorbo and maybe you ship lawkill as a guilty pleasure too i mentioned before (and ruined people's days) when i said whenever i draw killer he looks like griffith before i put on his goatee. the upper half of his face is distinctly feminine, with the lower half kinda over compensating. other than that uhh...idk. stan killer

Kidd is the bane of my existence, i feel like i can never draw his face consistently. yet at the same time he's so damn fun to draw everyone gotta try it.

my problem with kidd is that this mf does have eyelids. most kidd painters out there interpret this as him having deep set eyes (think Matt Smith or jeffrey star) . and yeh skill issue on me i should practice that. other notes, i try to make him younger than canon makes him look. he is my babygirl and he deserves to look cuddly. my band au kidd version has the honor of being allowed some chubs. he's just tries to look older and more menacing with edgy makeup. also i try to give him dimples when i can because, well i can.

Rosinante last bc i lost steam after kidd. the thing abt cora is that aside from not having eyebrows, everything is structured with the generic one piece man template. which means i gotta do everything myself doffy is there bc the way to figure out how to draw these two is to give them minor differences from each other, that being doffy gets slightly sharper features. in canon, these two are also rly wide boys (more of an oda style feat tbh) but i make them long. though bigger brained donquixote artists know that of these two brothers, doffy should be the wiry-er built. anyway that's it. in conclusion, i need to draw more girls actually i feel like im becoming misogynistic by osmosis from oda's style and now i draw girls all looking the same too.

[critter-creature-or-beast]

tumblr trick-or-treat LIGHTNING ROUND

Here we go, I'm going to finish up the remaining trick-or-treat asks from yesterday. Please don't send any more trick-or-treats, Halloween is over and I've spent enough time on this already 😅 Some of the @ tags may not work. It's not my fault, I've tried to edit them. Just tumblr being tumblr.

▬▬▬▬▬ @sex-warlock asked: trick or treat🎃 Happy Halloween! You receive one twin-sailed salp! I hope the binomial name isn't enough for tumblr to decide this post contains content that is only intended for adults! Thetys vagina - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @booksbwaybadflower asked: Trick or treat!! Happy Halloween! Have fun with your lesser sooty owl! Lesser sooty owl - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @ratpyramid asked: Trick or treat! 🦑🐙🐌 I'll take the choice of emojis as a hint. Here's your neon flying squid! Neon flying squid - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @nichegamingweeb asked: trick or treat! 👻

You receive one ghost bat. That's twice the spooky! Ghost bat - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @chorus-cat asked: trick or treat ?! :3

Happy Halloween! Here's a little guy who also does a :3 face, a quokka! Quokka - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @aptericia asked: are you still taking trick or treaters? If so, trick or treat!! 🎃 (no problem if you don't get to this tho!)

I appreciate your patience! Per your blog title, you are a birb enjoyer, so here is your Bohemian waxwing! Bohemian waxwing - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @satan-666s-stuff asked: Trick or treat (no spiders please)

Happy Halloween! Here's an animal that is probably not a spider: a harlequin duck! Harlequin duck - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ Anonymous asked: Trick or treat, friend!

I hope you see this, since I can't tag you! Enjoy your orange-spotted emerald dragonfly! Orange-spotted emerald - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @nineofneals asked: Trick or Treat! Happy Halloween! Here's a pair of Congo peafowl for you! Congo peafowl - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @belladonnab asked: Trick or treat!! 🎃🎃🎃

Happy Halloween! I don't know how you feel about spiders, but I found this cute green one for you, a magnolia green jumper! Lyssomanes viridis - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @little-bullheaded-shit asked: Trick or treat :D happy Halloween!!! 🎃 Happy Halloween! Your url says you're bull-headed? Here's something that's kind of bull-headed, a Żubroń, a cattle/bison hybrid! Żubroń - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @i-am-a-lizard asked: Trick or Treat! Hello lizard! I know lizards love to eat a tasty bug, so here's an eastern ant cricket for you! Myrmecophilus pergandei - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ anonymous asked: Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat! If you don't we don't care, we'll put red ants in your hair!

Woe, southern fire ants upon ye! Southern fire ant - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @akaylawithalotofideas asked: Hii! Trick or Treat! <3

Happy Halloween! I have a couple of snow geese for you-- white morph and blue morph! Snow goose - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ Anonymous asked: The amount of times I have almost accidentally sent people "Trick or Threat" asks instead of "Trick or Treat" probably says something about me! That's some interesting muscle memory! As thanks for not threatening me, here's your Ethopian wolf! Ethiopian wolf - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @idkapersoniguess asked: Dare I ask- trick or treat? Have fun with your new hirola (Hunters antelope)! Hirola - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @goldenwolfmidna asked: trick or treat!! Happy Halloween! I saw "wolf" in your name and thought an actual wolf was too obvious, so here's an Atlantic wolffish or seawolf! Atlantic wolffish - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @blossomaaoc asked: Trick or treat! I hope you like your volcano rabbit! Volcano rabbit - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @eclipsing-winter asked: trick or treat !! Happy Halloween! I have an arctic tern for you! Arctic tern - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @gummmibears asked: Trick or treat! Happy Halloween! I don't have any gummmi bears, but I have a sun bear! Sun bear - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @dreamer-of-serenity asked: Trick or treat! And a very happy Halloween to you! Also, thank you for the amazing blog! Thank you so much! Enjoy your Valentin's sharpnose puffer. Handle with care! Valentin's sharpnose puffer - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @xenia12 asked: Trick r treat >:D Happy Halloween! A regal thorny oyster for you! Spondylus regius - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @sahara-silver asked: Trick or treat!! I’m a vampire squid this year! Very cool! Here's a less famous squid for you: a ram's horn squid! Spirula - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @fan-da-nerd asked: Trick or treat! Happy Halloween! For you, a Galapogos penguin! Galapagos penguin - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @ultraluminarious asked: trick or treat !! Happy Halloween! I hope you like your mangrove horseshoe crab! Mangrove horseshoe crab - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @glitched-out-mess asked: trick or treat!!!!! Happy Halloween! Enjoy your crab-eating macaque! ▬▬▬▬▬ @emeraldraccoon478 asked: Trick or treat? Happy Halloween! Perhaps you'd like a relative of raccoons, a South American coati? South American coati - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ Anonymous asked: (A mew appears! Who cares if it doesn't exist, it's here now!) Mew me- Mew! (Translation: Trick or Treat!)

That's okay-- for a while people (in the Western world) weren't sure whether the okapi existed, either! Okapi - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @mewdusavt asked: trick or treat! ^.^ Happy Halloween! For you, a yellow-eyed penguin! Yellow-eyed penguin - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @justawishaway asked: Tricks and Treats! Both? For you, a colonial organism, a string jellyfish! This siphonophore is also called a long stringy stingy thingy, apparently! Apolemia uvaria - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @jack-fruit asked: *sprints up to your porch/hole in a tree last minute and out of breath* Trick or treat!! Don't overdo it! Take some time to chill out with your southern hairy-nosed wombat! Southern hairy-nosed wombat - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @eilooxara asked: Everybody's saying you give out the best treats in the whole neighborhood, so trick or treat! Is that so? I hope this bristly millipede lives up to the hype! Polyxenus lagurus - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @samwisegamgeeee asked: Trick or treat! Critter or beast! Happy Halloween! Happy Halloween! Here's a lesser rhea for you! Darwin's rhea - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @discworldwitches asked: trick or treat! Happy Halloweeen! Enjoy your binocular fish! Winteria telescopa - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @mossylemon asked: trick or treat! I'm giving you this weevil i found once

Thank you, I'll treasure them always! I'm giving you a Chacoan mara! Chacoan mara - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @arthallea asked: trick or treat :D Happy Halloween! Enjoy your plate-billed mountain toucan! Plate-billed mountain toucan - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @len-the-neverending asked: Trick or treat! Happy Halloween! I like your bunny avatar, so here's a Tehuantepec jackrabbit for you! Hares aren't rabbits, but they're lagomorphs, so they're still bunnies, right? Tehuantepec jackrabbit - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @ward-leon asked: trick or treat? .w. Happy Halloween! I hope you like your Gila woodpecker! Gila woodpecker - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @thebetterjellyfish asked: trick or treat! Here's a better jellyfish: one of two species called the fried egg jellyfish! Phacellophora - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @raspberrymoonx asked: trick or treat! Happy Halloween! For you, a great star coral! Montastraea - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @chaos-smoothie asked: I hate to bother you aha, but.... Trick or treat? Happy Halloween! I hope you like your guanaco! Guanaco - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ Anonymous: Trick or treat :3 Happy Halloween! I'm handing you this Argentine horned frog! Argentine horned frog - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @starlightsugar asked: Trick or treat :3 Happy Halloween! Here's a common wooly monkey for you! Common woolly monkey - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @ashen--dreams asked: trick or treat !! Happy Halloween! For you, a Bobbit worm. Be careful with it! Eunice aphroditois - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @reefsharkivist asked: trick or treat! Do you like sharks? For you, a Japanese bullhead shark! Japanese bullhead shark - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ Anonymous asked: trick or trick Trick or trick? For you, a tiger mosquito! Aedes albopictus - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @coolspork asked: Trick or treat! You receive: one Sputnik urchin! Pyllacanthus imperialis - Wikipedia ▬▬▬▬▬ @varian-polis asked: Trick or treat!! Last one... maybe! Unless tumblr is hiding more asks from me. You receive a fat sea biscuit! Clypeaster rosaceus - Wikipedia That's all! If I missed anyone, it was a genuine mistake, definitely not intentional. I will not be answering any more trick-or-treat asks after this.

[stolentrekblr]

Trekblr Community Reaction

I have wanted to compile reactions from the community for a while now, and today I finally made it happen. I have not editorialized anything, doing my best to copy reactions as written. Without further ado:

i love accs like this and the people behind them. the dedication to search for stuff like this and bring it home. sounds absolutely maddening and i salute them. to sift through garbage theft accs… doing the lords work

idk if i should feel honored or not, at least my username is there lol. this is very funny to me. like i dont even use facebook anymore

Omg they erased the last sentence. Lmao. I mean if you’re gonna steal my posts at least include the entire thing. It’s literally the least you could do

chat should we kill them?

OMGOD IVE MADE IT!!! this is crazy because i feel like my dad might actually see my star trek posts LMFAO. he's always on there. this is a big moment

I don't have a problem with reposts of my stuff if the watermark/username is included, but I appreciate the spirit of what you're doing

Nice sentiment but i really don't want people on facebook to have a link to my tumblr blog. thank god it's uncredited... been around a while my posts are always being stolen

The person Im thinking of flat out took OC memes from me and passed off my captions as his own. He gave me credit once from what I've seen and then the other times it looks like he made it up himself. I'm all for tossing memes out there and letting them be wild and free, but this guy twists it and uses it to beg for money on his page. He's got the lobes.

Why did they censor my pfp but not my username WHAT

damn. ig im famous now. better start lining up for autographs

People are posting me to Facebook???????

Damn... I'm not even mad about this tbh... someone thought my stupid post was good enough to steal and put on a facebook group 🤣🤣

disgusting

?!?!??!??!??!??!?!!!??!?

You know what I'm ok with Facebook enjoying this one I appreciate it being edited over them

This has never happened to me before

I honestly don’t mind seeing screen shots of my posts showing up elsewhere, it’s inevitable, but the nature of a screenshot shows the source of the post as well as the OP. But this crap is blatant plagiarism. Obviously this person is on tumblr, so I hope they see this. Please do better and have a smidgeon of integrity. Just give credit? It’s really not difficult? Thanks @stolentrekblr for the effort here.

Yooooo this is wild! Glad people like it I guess

This one ALMOST gives credit. But not quite. Could’ve just typed my handle in the post 🤷‍♀️ super easy, barely an inconvenience.

Come on... Just type "credit: *tumblr handle of the OP*" It's so easy not to be a spineless thief.

The watermark 🙄🙄

keep doing your thing op. you're like an archeologist but instead of screaming about how it belongs in a museum you are adamantly making sure people know where these things came from. i can't even fucking imagine the searching you have to do to find these posts. earlier today i couldn't find a post i had seen yesterday. keep it up!

I tracked down a post of mine that you found reposted on the data FB page, and left them a comment. "Hey look, its my post! didn't even crop out my tumblr url lmao. it was much more popular on my blog tho (1,817. notes)" They did not respond. 😒 It only got 344 reactions and 6 comments on the data page though... that page has like 38k followers... at least my posts do well when I post them myself on the Star Trek Shitposting page 🤣

I've made it. I have arrived. I got my 5 second shitpost lifted and put on another social media site, complete with a hazy photo overlay. I have won at Tumblr. I can rest now. I can rest.

Ohh yeah, this guy's a real loser. It's the WATERMARK for me 🙄

The HUBRIS!

ahh wow Ive never had a post escape containment before!! did they at least link back?

I am touched ^-^

plagiarism is the real problem. it gets worse when you see someone profit off the passions of other people in a fandom

well damn. and i'm here looking for employment...

sad to see someone else repost on fb and even watermark it. seriously what is up with the watermark over a screenshot of a tumblr post

Yeah. I think you're doing good work. I think exploitation is so baked into society that some people don't even realize when they are using the free labor of others for their own gain.

[aziraphales-library]

Lost Fic #191

1. Hi! Yesterday I found a highly specific fic on tumblr and i started reading it, but I lost it and somehow I can't find it in my history. I had found it on tumblr, under somebody shitposting that crowley and aziraphale decide who tops or bottoms every evening based on who received the check... the actual fic's plot is that one evening they're dining and crowley tries to joke that waiters always give him the check because they think he tops, but he took for granted that Aziraphale hadn't understood the joke so he laughs it off, but Aziraphale DID and he gets irritated about it. They go to Aziraphale's place, they try to talk it out and smut ensues. I think Aziraphale says at one point "I don't always want to be your stupid friend". But I'm sure there was a reversed wall slam. Help me if you can, please?? - anon

2. Hello! I am looking for a lost fic that I couldn't find in my AO3 history or your tags :( It's Aziraphale POV, takes place mostly in the bookshop. Aziraphale is excited to make a human friend who asks what A.Z. Fell stands for, and Aziraphale panics and says "Anthony." Human friend asks Aziraphale to a lecture (or the like) and Aziraphale says yes not realizing it's a date. Crowley overhears him being called Anthony and cracks up, and human friend mistakes A and C for a couple. If you or any of your followers know what this fic is I'd be so grateful! Thank you! - @smallspaceplant

3. Hi guys, first off I'd like to thank you for all the love and effort you put here, and it's helped me loads! I'm looking for a fic that I read a long, long time ago. It was so long ago that it might have been posted on ff.net, I really can't remember. I'd like to think I've read it about 10 years ago, but can't be sure. What I do remember is that Aziraphale fell and went with the name Zira or maybe Zirah, favored a cane with intricate carvings that Crowley(not that name though) gave him, and he used that to, a, sort a problem with the extra baby, and Crowley(or whatever his angelic name was) found blood on it and was understandably freaked out. Does anyone remember this fic? - anon

4. Hello! I’m looking for a fic and I only have a vague recollection of some scenes so I completely understand if you can’t pin it down! It’s 100% book omens, and I’m pretty sure it was written before the show came out. I’m also pretty sure it’s less than 10k words. Crowley and Aziraphale sleep together for the first time and the next morning Crowley is having Thoughts about whether this was considered a temptation. Aziraphale shuts it down and kisses him again. They show each other their wings. In the end, they kind of go their separate ways but agree to meet up again some time in the future. Again, sorry for the lack of details! - anon

5. Hi! I’m looking for a fic where god sends Aziraphale to another timeline? Or something? Because the apocalypse happened and god said something about him being happy and Aziraphale can’t be happy without Crowley (I think Crowley became a star after death) He ends up being polite but super distant with Crowley in this new timeline bc Crowley’s last words were to leave him alone Begging for anyone to help🧎🏻‍♀️- anon

If you know any of these fics please include the number in your reply! Thank you :)

- Mod D

[batsplat]

Agree on the engaging with motogp as a Sport here part... But anyway what is your sporty opinion on the races we've had so far (if you've watched any?)

tbh i haven't kept up properly for various reasons, i just haven't really been enjoying it and it's a better idea to disengage rather than just constantly moaning about it. icl the fandom on here probably does play at least a bit of a role in that... so i've tumblr saviour'd that to shit and hopefully after a bit of a detox i can enjoy the sport itself more again. hence also the lack of motogp posting from me, my semi-regular apology for the many really interesting unanswered asks in my inbox. i have a bit of a mental list of the ones i do really want to get to when i'm feeling in the mood again, they had enough thought put into them i feel like they also merit a response in kind

anyway, i do also feel like i haven't missed that much lol. i watched the highlights from the race yesterday whenever it was which i think will have been comfortably the best of the four, but otherwise i watched buriram on replay and MOST of the other two and the racing quality has been. dire. my real sporting take is that pundits and fans will keep telling you that the alien era was so much worse than this and it's just nostalgia/og 4 alien narrative juice that makes people think otherwise and they are. wrong. they may be right about 2010-12, which i cannot really make any excuses for, but it just straight up isn't true for 2007-09 and whoever argues otherwise has not rewatched those seasons recently enough. it's an overcorrection and also those seasons for real long time fans suffer from such an immediate contrast to 2006, but like. the average race back then was just better. don't let them tell you it's not terrible right now

speaking of things that are terrible. i feel like sprints by now have been Normalised and there is absolutely zero point moaning about them, but they still fucking suck. they're only very rarely good to watch, they make the weekend too hectic, they're dangerous and they skew any championship fight. i appreciated casey bringing it up last november because barely anyone has a moan about it anymore these days. obviously for our present purposes it also doesn't exactly HELP that pecco is substantially worse at the sprint format, which ensures a sort of built-in deficit he really doesn't need. but even in 2023 when they were livening up the title fight i didn't like them, so i've remained consistent on this. just sort of dilutes the product, i still cannot for the life of me understand the problem sprint races are the solution to

another bad thing: tyre pressure shenanigans. no new ground being covered with this take......... it was farcical in buriram but after qatar it's just an intolerable situation. i understand WHY this has happened, i get the politics, but it's an absolute joke that they have not got a tyre that is suitable to aero yet. when this first became a talking point in 2023, when it was in danger !! of fucking up !! that title fight !! everybody in the sport should have panicked and worked to ensure that the situation would be at least somewhat addressed as quickly as possible. it is a year and a half on from that and they have done nothing. this one does actually make me a bit mad, like i just think it's inexcusable from the series and from the teams - i don't give a shit if they don't want to test the bloody tyres, this is ruining the sport both by making good racing so rare and by undermining sporting integrity. it is a joke that you will get penalised for having an unexpectedly good race. it deprived fabio of a sprint podium in jerez, it should have deprived pedro of a podium in indonesia without that extremely fugazi explanation ktm presented, and now it's massively fucked over vinales. you never know what will happen that's why you line up on sunday bla bla - but if you didn't think you were going to be in the lead and you then go into the lead then you'd better stop that right now!! what kind of racing is that? you're only allowed to win if you already thought you'd win before the race?? ridiculous

anyway. now that i've channelled my inner casey stoner. eh... what else. the competitive landscape... well, marc is barring injury or massive headloss going to win the championship, he's obviously a very good rider who is still good so nothing really new there. i didn't like what he did at cota, i'm pro people being clever and dastardly (or at least people thinking they are because they didn't read the rules correctly) but at a certain point there is a bit of a line for me. doing something that could be dangerous outside of races is just... yeah, it simply wasn't really necessary? but also it's not like i want to send him to the gallows for it, just someone very high on their own stock innit. it does really annoy me how nobody in the sport seems to have properly read the rules, i'm sorry but i would know that rule book off by heart, i have very little respect for that kind of thing. be serious. and the cota race crash was really daft, crashes happen but they exist on a spectrum and that one was not great and has artificially injected tension back into the title fight. moving on...

pecco's done a reasonably strong job thus far in the season, his worst misstep was the quali crash at qatar but otherwise there's no real complaints. he hasn't felt comfortable with this bike and has a very renowned title rival who started the season flawlessly but he didn't panic, he's kept chipping away at it. could easily have leaked far more points than this, which he had by this point in 2022-24 to his respective title rivals. obviously you can't wish away a fundamental pace deficit, especially with his sprint struggles - but i had the first three circuits at least marked as marc-leaning and my advice to pecco would have been 'try to weather the storm, don't do too much and bring the points home', which he's done. can't be doing quali crashes on what could have been a far better weekend for him, though, i get why it happened but. well. can't do it. can't do it!!

i do actually have a bit of a hot take here in that i think marc isn't faster than 2016-19 but To Some Extent he's cleaned up his game, and depending on how pecco does this season you can make the argument pecco's the toughest title challenger marc ever had to deal with. jorge/dani 2013 injury penalty, yamaha line-up post 2013 kinda washed and more often than not on worse bikes (especially ofc when those fuckers from michelin returned). and 2017-19 dovi ofc not quite at that consistently elite level, and the other challengers were ultra-washed valentino and 'maverick vinales'. like idk man i am EASILY taking 2025 pecco over 2013-19 yamaha line-up (or well post-2013 assen jorge) but i kinda feel like we're not ready for that particular conversation yet

i'll admit a. marquez did blindside me with his start to the season, obviously he won't come close to winning the title but it has been very impressive in its consistency. we'll see if the terrorism relapse was a one-off or the beginning of the end of that particular chapter. also i love my sibling more than anything and i would still kill myself in a. marquez's position so kudos on not doing that. i don't have much to say about either vr46 rider. the ducati situation in general though is obviously intolerable, like my god. in 2023 i kinda did self-gaslighting and went 'well you enjoyed 2003 and intra-manufacturer beef can be fun!!' which was true for maybe one season but.... not to this extent. not a complete PODIUM lockout. this is terrible!! it's not what motogp should be like!! every year we think it can't get worse and it does!! i guess i should have seen this coming because i was sniffing the 'surely at some point we've reached peak ducati domination' hopium but then every time i actually went through the manufacturers in my head to guess who might take the fight to ducati, i found all of them deeply unconvincing. this is another thing that has stealth made the racing worse... it helped back in the day to have two bikes with really different performance profiles and two riders with very different styles teeing it off, because you'd get more variation of performance in any given lap and then the speed differential means they can like. actually fight it out in different bits of the track. look, i don't need to explain this. modern poster child rivalry for this is obviously casey/valentino - cumbersome but lightning fast ducati vs underpowered nimble yamaha, wild instinctive casey versus precise calculating valentino. run it back! but yeah, homogenisation of bikes and riding styles is more of a long-term inevitable trend you probably can't really do anything about, but is still a shame

the other manufacturers exist on a spectrum of how pissed off i am at them currently. least pissed off is honda, then aprilia, then yamaha, and the prize for most pissed off is ktm. honda has obviously looked way better this season, though a part of me still suspects this is flattered by how aprilia and ktm have completely fucked it. i am historically not a honda fan but i am increasingly in the 'anyone but ducati' tent so i will offer my support to my allies in this cause. i have however given up on the joan mir revival cause, which deeply saddens me. zarco's been great, he's not been this good a watch since his early yamaha days. so so impressive

aprilia comes after that because it's not really their fault that their star rider has been cursed. it's just made the season SO much worse. obviously everything to do with jorge v scary and miserable and i hope he recovers well. could be one of those things where he's never the same rider again and i really hope that won't be the case. might have a pretty substantial psychological impact u have 2 say. bez has been appalling and i think it's increasingly clear which of 2023 or 2024 was the blip. i don't have anything to say about ogura that many others haven't already said, he's been truly fantastic and the star of the season thus far, i was already reasonably high on his stocks headed into this year but nowhere near this high. i hope his momentum doesn't fizzle out and he has a long and very fruitful motogp career, he reminds me a bit of 2008 dovi. raul fernandez needs to be fired into the sun and then fired, i still have no clue why he was given a two year contract extension. obviously this collection of riders makes it a bit hard to judge the aprilia, i don't feel like they've done... a great job in closing the gap to ducati? but also maybe it's the riders

yamaha has been. well. disappointing! i let myself sniff some hopium after the sepang test, which is a mistake that shall not be repeated. fabio's first few race weekends have also been a bit too patchy for my liking (but qatar's been better tbf). these fuckers are my team so i'd really like them to get it together. miller has adapted very impressively, fair plays i thought he was washed. i mean crucially idt there's more to come from him, like he was on the pace pretty much immediately on the ktm and if anything his best ktm stretch was right at the start of 2023. which speaks to his natural talent, he can adapt really well and clearly the yamaha does suit his style,,,,, but i still expect fabio to comfortably be the leading light in that manufacturer (he'd better fucking be). shout out to oliveira, still the most cursed rider. still have not forgiven the 2023 honda for essentially ending rins' career as a front running rider, miss u king

and ktm................................................................ i'm a ktm hater and i can't even enjoy this downfall. vinales being vinales and randomly deciding he's the second coming of jesus christ if he raced motorcycles one sunday per year is very funny, but obviously that shouldn't obscure how otherwise disgusting this start of the year has been. and like, i thought they'd decline in the second half of the year because of the whole bankruptcy situation, but the fact they're ALREADY struggling makes me think... idk man, i feel like there's enough of a lag in the bike development pipeline that they might just organically suck right now. ktm does traditionally have very strange early season periods, but i am kinda over it? and if they're going to suck late season too, then this hypothetical window where they don't suck to me feels rather narrow. maybe they'll get a bit better, but they have a generational talent on their roster who should be fighting for wins and preferably championships at this stage of his career. this sucks!! all the aliens were on machinery that could challenge for titles at latest by their second year in the premier class. acosta should be showing us what he can do on a bike that isn't completely fucked. all you can do is hope it doesn't end up completely derailing his career, i do sort of want him to escape next year even though i understand the reasons why that's unlikely. honda, pay the bill. otherwise... my takes on binder have not changed in the slightest since like 2023, it's everyone else who keeps flip flopping on him. i am withholding my bastianini verdict until a later date, but trust i am Watching and waiting and cracking my knuckles

anyway that's my hot takes on 2025 motogp, sports edition. not all of them but i feel like i've covered the major points. write in with your own

[whisperingonyx]

I'm going to attempt to do a writer's blog in hopes of getting support and help me to actually post here.

So, it's been years since I posted here. I mean, seriously posted, but I'm going to try again. I had a reader find me on one of the other sites that I post to "regularly" (If I can even say that because it's become scarce on both currently) and asked me to come on here to communicate with them. Thank you to @kawaikisses for leading me here again. I think it must be a sign, I had attempted to do this several years ago from AFF, only it never came to fruition. I, for some reason, find Tumblr hard to use. It's obviously not since millions of other people use it, but I've always found it difficult.

I've been lurking for a few months now, trying to get a feel for it and see about how to add pages and all that, as I would like to attempt to actually start posting on here and maybe, if I'm lucky, getting a small following on here. I dunno know; I think it may be tough. I am already on AFF, and I've been on AO3 for just a couple of years. I have a small but mighty following on both, and maybe those that are still active will follow me here too, once again, if I'm lucky. To anyone that does follow me or reads this and decides to give me a chance, please be patient with me. I'm learning how to use this site and all that and it'll probably be wonky and whatnot for a while. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Please feel free to DM me with any tips, as I would like to learn fast. Thank you also to @livingformintyoongi for allowing me to bombard her with questions and helping me with my current wip, you have been immensely helpful!

So, here we go! I currently write for four K-pop groups (SS501, SHINee, VIXX, and BTS), and I have a wip for VIXX for a series that has literally been in the works for no less than about 6 years. I had 6 installments planned and then one epilogue of sorts, and I'm currently on the 6th installment, and the epilogue is in serious question. I've written in this world for so long that I am in serious burnout for it. I love the idea and all but I never thought I'd be so TIRED of it by now. It is a struggle to write this last part, and not for the reasons I thought when I sat down to start it.

I knew this last part would be bad, really, really bad- but for an entirely different reason than what it ended up being, which is good. I put it off too long, writing other things in between, and ended up pushing this series out way longer than it should've been. So I decided not to write anything else until I finished this story, and it has been a struggle because I have a storyline book filled with other stories from other groups that I want to work on and I refuse to do so until I finish this current story. I know that's part of the problem because I can't write this current story cause there are others I'd rather be writing. I know people have said to work on something else, but it'll just delay this story longer, and I can't, so I continue to struggle.

Luckily, I've been able to get a little leeway on the story as of late, and hopefully this is a sign of things to come. I found someone (thank you to @illustriousday ) on a fanfic writers' community that I'm in, who posted for anyone who worked on their wip to write 3 sentences, and they'd do the same for theirs, and I did it! I did more than three today, which was great. Worked on it yesterday too, so it's happening, just (a lot) slower than I'd like.

So, I'm off to attempt to write more hopefully, and we'll see how it goes. To any one who may know me from AFF or AO3, I'm still writing, just not on anything other than the "Indulge Me" series. Once I get this damn story done, I can go on to the many other things I have planned.

I don't know that anyone will read this as it is exceptionally long, but here's to hoping!

[nocturnal-desolation]

Hello sorry for tagging. I am very sick, my asthma is at its maximum level, my nose freezes, I have no medicine or food. I am in bad shape financially, I am a black disabled, who uses multiple medications, I pay for my food and lodging

Unfortunately I do not have all the resources to keep me safe, that is why I need your help, whatever you can contribute to me will be of great help.

Would you look at that… I have a prime example of how to spot a scam in my asks. It's not very well done, just well enough that some people might fall for it - and some have even reblogged it. You've been redirected to the Fraud Detection Unit, which will take it from here. (actually it's still just me, I'm the fraud detection unit, we have "Fachkräftemangel" in Germany, sorry, jk)

Seriously though… First of all, I'd like to address the fact that it's incredibly sad to play with people's emotions like this. You should be ashamed of yourself, but I'm sure you're not. It's the same with scams asking for help and donations for people and families in Gaza, which has come up a lot recently and is even more despicable because there are actual fundraisers going on (which are official) and these people are in a terrible situation. So to exploit that worldwide sympathy or solidarity and use the inhumane circumstances of these or other people for your scams is disgusting to the core.

But back to this particular ask and blog… The text itself makes no sense. Like, not at all. For example, a " freezing nose" is not a typical symptom of asthma. I've never had asthma, but I'm pretty sure your nose doesn't freeze up when you have asthma. What are you trying to tell me? That you got asthma in the middle of a blizzard? Sorry, I can't help you with that. "Get out of the blizzard!" is all I can tell you. And what is the "maximum level" of asthma? Is that some kind of asthma end boss? Sounds more like you need an ambulance, not money...

That's why it's important to be fluent in English if you want to pretend to be a native speaker. I can't help you there either. I can barely speak my own language, let alone English.

Some other things everyone should notice or look for when getting messages like this:

blog was created fairly recently, no consistency, just reblogged some random things (like posts from 'tumblr staff' lol - no offense) to have something on it at all + obviously otherwise empty blogs that are just begging for money or reblogging other similar posts all the time are even more suspicious

something I haven't seen before either is "Black Lives Matter" being used as bait to appeal to those involved in the movement

randomly generated usernames (what is "toosaladgarden"? I've never had a salad that was too garden, so I don't know - not too important, but in this case it doesn't help to be convincing)

no bio, no age, no country (usually not important, but in this case it is)

non-transparent fundraiser, no one knows why this exact amount of money is needed (I think it even went from $1700 to $1900 since yesterday if I saw that correctly lol) and how the supposed current donations came about (you could put any number in there)

randomly contacted

scammers often use tactics such as emotional manipulation and urgency to evoke sympathy and to prompt a quick response

lack of details, very vague in general, limited information about specific circumstances

But that made me curious and I wanted to know more. You (the scammers) were "smart" enough to use a profile picture that can't be easily traced back to the original source, I'll give you that. But that's a problem for you, because it seems to be the only picture you have of this person with this child, so you had to use it everywhere…

And that's why I was able to trace your picture back to a Twitter / X account that goes by the name "Aska" and the handle askafarao… which also engages in very, very obviously fraudulent requests for money. Every few days or weeks since August 2023, this "X" account posts nothing but new "reasons" why the money is needed. And it's quite funny how little effort they put into it, because the reasons are not creative and half of them don't even add up. But most importantly, somehow there are a couple of different email addresses for different paypal accounts with different names on them. I think we can all agree that unless you're trying to hide something, you don't need more than one name… right? Unless Paypal is going to close your accounts all the time, or you're afraid they will because they're detecting fraudulent activity, you don't need more than one account, right?

TL:DR Let's make this part short and sweet: If you get a message like this, or see a similar post, be aware that it's a scam. Don't reblog it and don't be like, "But what if it's true…" It's obviously not, and when I saw the X account, I actually had a good laugh because this account is a complete mess, even for a scammer.

[chaosfairy18]

Hey!

So I feel you on the having no motivation thing, just wanted to say you'll get through this, I'm in the same place lol

Sometimes it helps me to just like ramble about my favorite little background moments from the movie/broadway- if you don't have the motivation to write, maybe try doing that? And then maybe that will give you some inspiration!

Hey, thank you so much for this! It does mean a lot to just hear I'm not the only one having the problem and to hear some possible solutions.

While I do talk about the newsies so much with friends it might help to put some things on Tumblr and ramble to just hear some other opinions too you're right 🤔

And I also might have a tip as well (that I got from a good friend and I only really had the chance to try it out yesterday). I did actually manage to write a bit by writing it completely in a discord chat instead of any of my writing programs to tell myself "it isn't that important, it's just a small drabble/fun thing just write it down it isn't big" and that did help!

I'll probably even post it today (it is a Javid modern drabble and I haven't really written anything just on them before but it is cute)

Thanks once more for the message :)

[cursedbag]

Author's Note: it's been about a billion years since I've written any sort of fan fiction but I saw a post that was just... inspirational (I don't remember exactly who posted it but it was for sure on Tumblr)

Anyways, warnings: 18+, minors don't interact, not proofread, afab!reader but 2nd pov used, reader is a nepo baby and not into unions, potentially degrading? Idk lmao Nanami might be a little ooc, it's been a hot minute since I read the manga

His Hard Earned Bonus

Lawyer! Nanami x CEO! Reader

Your hands gripped tightly on Nanami's hair as his tongue bullied your clit. His tongue always worked magic when you were stressed. Meetings, clients, your employees' desire to unionize, he would make those trivial problems melt away; legally and sexually.

"Nanamin~" you moaned as he tightened his grip on your thighs. He hummed in response, not pulling away to entertain anything beyond himself. His tie was thrown over his shoulder as he enjoyed his meal with messy slurps. He had your panties in his back pocket with no intention of giving them back.

Nanami was a man who always had a healthy sexual appetite. It's part of the reason why he became a lawyer. The gratification of getting his clients *exactly* what they wanted with the benefit of a solid paycheck behind it. When you first hired him, he couldn't get you out of his head. The cold glances that you'd give your subordinates, the glares you gave to your CFOs and CMOs; it made it near impossible to do his job without some sort of added benefit. Especially with how spoiled and bratty you were (on account that your father was the chairman).

Nanami loved that you were spoiled rotten; it always made his job a bit more exciting than it actually was. You could demand anything and he'd just ask for a deadline. So when the Christmas party rolled around, a well placed mistletoe was all that he needed to seduce you. Sure, there would have to be secrets for the sake of both of your careers but Nanami relished in the secret little rendezvous he planned.

"It's almost like you want to get caught," you chided with a soft moan. As if you wouldn't love something like that, to be caught with the hot blond lawyer between your legs as he feasted on you like you're the only thing he ate. You pulled at his hair, earning a groan from his lips that vibrated against your folds. Your essence dripped down his chin as he looked up at you insatiably. He pulled away, much to your dismay.

"If I wanted you to be bratty, I would have waited until I got to your penthouse," he stood up from his kneeling position, "we wouldn't want a certain chairman to find out that you're taking advantage of a lowly employee."

"As if my father would believe that. Besides, you came on to me. Metaphorically and literally," you winked as he towered over you. "plus..." your hand reached for the obvious tent growing in his pants, "you probably like that you're undermining my father's power by fucking his daughter during your lunch break."

"I think of it more as a bonus, most of the cases you ask me to cover are almost always some sort of impossible," he said before he placed a kiss on the corner of your lips.

You rolled your eyes, "well you always manage to get it done, don't you?" There you go again. Blue blooded, through and through. "Are you going to finish or...?"

"I have a meeting in ten minutes," he says with a sigh.

"... with me."

"And your father," he says as he tugged your pencil skirt to no longer be a clean sign of deviance, "wouldn't want daddy dearest to find me here alone with his CEO."

"Fine," you groaned as you leaned back on chair. You always had the most irresistible pout when you were denied what you wanted. "What about your little friend there?"

Nanami scoffed at the implication, "you were complaining about my *little* friend yesterday. I'll take care of it in the bathroom or something." You wanted to tease him for the imagery he painted in your head; His cold stoicism melting away as he fucked his fist, chasing a high that became harder and harder to satisfy on his own.

You picking up your phone and quickly dialed a number as Nanami watched you. "Hi daddy," you spoke sweetly, "I was just wondering if we could push back that meeting? I totally got food poisoning earlier and I was just about to go home." Nanami wanted to burst out laughing at your pathetic excuse, all just so that you could get your daily fuck in.

"Really? Oh thanks daddy... yes, I'll have Nanami take me home right away," you looked at him with a devious smirk before hanging up the phone.

"So I'm a personal chauffeur now?" Nanami teased as he stood by the door as you grabbed your coat, "what will my bonus be for that?"

"You act as if I didn't just do you a favor," you said as you slipped into your coat, "come on, I have to make it look at least a little believable." You leaned on his shoulder before he wrapped an arm around you and walked you to his car in the parking lot. The short walk and elevator ride felt hours long, even longer when Nanami got a call from his actual boss.

"Sir?" Nanami answered the phone, acting oblivious.

"Nanami! Would you be a pal and take my precious angel home and work from there? I'm sure they'll be so disappointed that they couldn't do work because they're a little sick," your father wasn't a successful business man because he was a smart man.

"Yes sir, I'll take them home right now," Nanami informed as he unlocked the car to let you in. You slipped into the front seat before he closed the door behind him. He hung up his phone as he entered the driver's seat.

"You know... we can't just leave right this moment," you leaned close to his ear. "Daddy will find it suspicious that you'd already have me on the road and stuff," your hot breath tempted him like no other.

"What are you suggesting?" He entertained your whims despite your recent bad behavior. You kissed his cheek as you undid his belt buckle. Nanami didn't move, not because he was particularly shocked at your choice of setting but rather to fully witness you at work. Your hand reached into his pants and wrapped itself around his dick. The warmth of your hand coupled with the sensitivity of his cock forced his head against the steering wheel as you kept a steady motion to taunt him. All Nanami could do is moan out a quiet, breathy, "fuck" and hope that you wouldn't tease him. You pulled your hand away with a mischievous giggle.

"Sorry, Nanamin," you're a liar, "we'll just have to wait until we go to the penthouse."

"...get in the back."

You laughed but it quickly faded when you looked at him again. His brows were furrowed with frustration as he removed his glasses. The green tinted glasses that once reflect you were shoved into the glove box haphazardly as Nanami motioned his head towards the backseat. You felt an unfamiliar heat rise in your chest but did as you were told and climbed into the backseat.

He starts the car wordlessly, driving out of the parking lot. You could practically hear the cogs in his brain churning as it settles to you that you pushed your luck too far. He pulled into your driveway an hour and finally looked at you.

"You think you can just toy with my cock as if it's just a plaything for you?" He climbed into the back with you, his fly and belt still undone. You didn't respond as you caught a glimpse of his tip peaking through his boxers. You bit your lip, hoping that he'll find it in his heart to forgive you and let you get a taste of the semen that stained his underwear. He sat down next to you and pulled his cock out.

"Suck."

His simple demand was listened to in full as you go on your knees and started slowly kissing his tip. Your slow tease grew impatience in Nanami as he grabbed the back of your hair and urged you to take his cock. He groaned softly as you took him in, inch by inch. You swirled your tongue and accepted the semen that had his familiar bitterness. You rubbed your thighs together but received a tug at your hair warning you not to push your luck again. You bobbed yourself up and down, looking up at him for approval as you felt yourself getting wetter and wetter.

"Just like that," he encouraged with a soft groan as he leaned his head back, "you're a good cock sucker, aren't you? Probably ruining my leather seating with how wet you are." You moved your head faster as you felt him twitch in your mouth.

"F-fuck, I'm so close," he panted, his hand following the bobbing of your head. Nanami forced your head down as he came, thick ropes of cum painted your throat white. You sat up and wiped your lip with a cocky smirk.

"You just had to have me, couldn't even wait until we were inside," you teased. Nanami glared at you as he attempted to catch his breath.

"You think you're done?"

[romaine2424]

Daily Blog July 2, 2023

So I'm mad at my beta! We were chatting back and forth on Discord originally about my WIP fic I'm writing. Yes, the one were I wrote the first 7 chapters back in 2007 before HPDH was released. Anyway, the fic will have 4 parts, and part 1 is the original. I asked her to beta the older chapters so they would be ready to go. Ummmm, she mentioned the whole premise of the fic, was making her anxious. So I stopped her from doing anymore and said no worries. Betaing should not cause stress. Okay we'll get back to me needing a beta at the end of the blog today.

But this is not why I'm mad at her. No.... she mentioned she's writing for @hd-fan-fair this year and did I take a look at the prompts. I said absolutely not because I always get sucked in. So we chatted some more and she said oh just take a look and tell me which one you would write for if you were participating this year.

You see where this is going don't you... Since my muse is on fire these days. I spotted a prompt and boom, full shorter story popped into my head. The final lines and everything. So, yes, I've joined the fest and I blame my beta! Actually, I love @myaulophobia dearly.

What I'm reading:

Yesterday I said I would be reading the first posted story for @hd-wireless. Um, that will be tonight. Because I was just taking a look at my Tumblr feed when @drarryspecificrecs posted the longest Drarry fics for June. Bam! So I read Tandem (92K) by fast-brother (AO3). Who is also another NEW author. OMG where are they coming from? We are so blessed in Drarry. This story, this story I read until I fell asleep last night and woke up early on this Sunday morning to finish it.

Here's the summary: Harry and Draco meet by accident six years after the war. Harry's an Auror with a drinking problem and Draco's a broke student. Things don't work out well. Six years after that, Draco joins the British Auror Office as a Potioneer.

Here's a little more from me: Draco was sentenced to 15 years probation of No Magic and all vaults and Manor confiscated. Lucius and Narcissa were sentenced to Azkaban. The Ministry was a mess during the trials and the Ministry is still in a mess. Ron is Head Auror (love this!) and Harry is also a mess. Great Auror, but drinks too much, has sex too much, and works to hard to push down those hard to deal with feelings.

The story is written from alternating POV, which is quite nice and helpful in understanding the place where both of them are coming from...not a good place originally. The story starts with the meeting after the first 6 years, which is rough. Then Draco moves on, marries, and makes something of his life as Potioneer in France. However, he has no magic so he's learned to do things for himself instead of relying on others' magic to help him. Draco is hired with insistence of one Ron Weasley to come back and work for the Aurors as their UK DMLE Potioneer. Then sparks start to fly...

This fic has one of the best relationships between Ron and Draco that I've read. Hermione too, but mainly R & D. They all love Harry, but...... And Harry, oh I love this Harry despite his being an arse in so much of it. However, he has his story and his telling of what happened in the Forest is unforgettable. And you, too, will fall back in love with our Harry.

There are so many scenes that are memorable but I'm not going to say anymore. You need to read this fic and give one of our New Drarry authors love.

Tandem on AO3

Rom needs Beta Help!

Let me state up front that I do have an Alpha, the wonderous and amazing @m0srael. What I'm looking for is a strong SPAG beta and if you can spot inconsistencies and/or canon issues, even better. I'm an engineer by trade and cannot tell you the last time I took an English/grammar class. I'm terrible with my commas! As my beta was also my Britpicker... I might need one of those later on.

Here's the link to The Azkaban Letters so you can read all of the pairings and warnings. Yes, it is a Drarry fic but.... The prologue is also available to read. The fic, I think will come in at about 200K. I have 90K written. It's broken down into 4 parts and Part 2 will be the longest.

I'd list more but no need to bore most of you. So if interested take a look at the link and prologue. If that doesn't scare you and are interested, you can DM me here on Tumblr.

Thanks for this personal indulgence!

Rom