#active-mind-15
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Maybe I'll make a post on this at some point but like, something deeply fucked up about TNP and Po3 that people have totally forgotten about is how badly they try to whine that "Tigerstar Had Good Traits :("
Firestar does it, Brambleclaw does it, and they keep doing this after it becomes this GRAND irony that Firestar almost gets Tiger'd to death in a fox trap because he was too trusting. Bramble gets his pity award of keeping deputyship and then cries to his son about how No One Saw The Good In Tigerstar :(
And it's wiiiiild that no one else in this fandom has done anything with the fact that Leopardstar broke the Warrior Code to appoint Hawkfrost, who had no apprentice, an extremely aggressive and warmongering Tigerclone who says things like "Tigerstar wasn't the worst cat to look up to." ONLY qualifying trait was being kinda like Tigerstar.
And she practically did that the SECOND Mistyfoot went missing. And then Leopardstar continued to be one of the most violent and xenophobic leaders through Po3, joining with WindClan to attack ThunderClan.
What I'm getting at is that like, a few years ago, with books like "Blackfoot's Reckoning" and "Shadow in RiverClan" it's like they suddenly decided to retcon in a bunch of "redemption arcs" in hindsight. They just pretended like there was this grand high reckoning with TigerClan, when there literally wasn't, and if anything that caused SERIOUS problems for the cast that the authors didn't fully acknowledge as such.
And now ppl haven't actually read the main series and are just working with their recent memory of all these retcon books.
But TNP and PO3 are still there, and you can go and see the ACTUAL timeline where Leopardstar is really not apologetic at all, and Blackstar is a useful stooge for the very next wannabe dictator that strolls in, in spite of the new side content that COMPLETELY mischaracterized them for their plots to work.
#I just wish people could be more critical of this#And im not entirely anti-retcon. Mind you#But I am here because i think these retcons make them WORSE characters. It's BAD for a character to GET a book with a redemption arc and--#Then they don't change at all and act like totally different people later in the timeline#And Leopardstar is the worse one between her and Blackstar BECAUSE she has sooo many active choices here#Im confident in my choice for BB the more I think about it. Leopardstar's dismantling of the bonehill was good#But it works better as a tragedy imo with the rest of the series in mind#That for a brief moment. A fleeting whim. She could have changed.#But she never did.#And Blackstar who was FAR less repentant at the time DID eventually turn around.#At the end of the day one of them appointed Hawkfrost as codebreaking deputy.#And the other did not.#And I think it's fucking bullshit the way that Leopardstar's retcondemption implies that Hawkfrost was just so tricky he mislead her#The old and experienced leader who had been fooled by a tiger before and was soso sorry for it. Just got tricked.#Like fuck off. She never had a redemption. Stop trying to tell me she did 15 years later#She's a girlboss who empires too close to the sun in pursuit of power and drags everyone down with her#Not a sad weepy smolbean#Bone babble#Warrior cats analysis
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ngl i’m still worried. like i Do have complete faith in ncuti gatwa but what i Don’t have is much faith at all in rtd’s writing about race
#which id managed to sort of convince myself was maybe#it’s been like 15 years he’s had time to learn better#but the comment Immediately about ‘different colors’ in todays ep#and w the toymakers past.#i’m hoping for the best i really actively am but i’m hesitant#not even writing about race just writing that has anything to do w it#i will never forgive him for martha jones#and my cynicism is saying bringing dt back for three eps and specifically being pretty good about trans people and disabled people#is a good favor investment so he can keep a progressive image and get away w racism#i don’t actually believe that for the record#i’m just worried ncuti gatwa is gonna have to deal with Some Bullshit that’s gonna get blamed on him instead of rtd yk#which is bad for him bc it means a bad working environment and also like. taking the blame for something he didn’t even do#or that if he pushes back on something bad he’ll get branded as difficult to work with etc#anyway. worry once suffer twice or whatever and i think i said all this when the announcements were made#it’s just on my mind again#i want the best for the show and the people making it yk?
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#ncuti gatwa#doctor who#fifteenth doctor#15th doctor#dr who#this is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#from what i have seen/heard so far of dw. the doctor's white privilege has either been#only slightly alluded to in terms of informing the themes. Or w at best good intent but handled extremely badly/clumsily (fly high ten.)#it seems like fifteen will be written/portrayed w their race actively in mind this time which makes me v excited for their run!!#hoping. hoping and praying and hoping to the stars that rtd got people of color (specifically BIPOC) in the writers room this time#15 era
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ohh javieran … javieran post kieran’s death .., javier is a poor lonesome cowboy in america a long way from home with no more sweetheart to sit and talk with him ooohhh can anyone hear me ….
#someone on tiktok found poor lonesome cowboy in an old archival-esque book of cowboy and campfire songs and as soon as i saw this i gasped#ummm burst into tears actually ! thanks ! i’m so sad !#poor lonesome coyotito who parted from his city and who has no sweetheart to sit and talk with him ☹️#they make me miserable#i was just gonna put this in my drafts but i already have 15 drafts and i fear if i continue to put ideas in my drafts “for later’’ i will#never make another post again … so instead of setting myself up for disappointment i’m just gonna start posting like i do on twt#which is where i post every unfiltered thought i have :)#it’s MY blog and I get to make useless textposts constantly because i know im incapable of making any actual content atm#i’m hoping to draw something based off of this some day though :( i’m already having ideas#usually i sit in my mind palace and tinker with my au where kieran lives but unfortunately sometimes i must face reality and think about#javier’s loss and heartbreak in canon <//3#i need to rewatch kieran’s death cutscene and see where javier is and what he does because i’ll have to write his initial#response to grief depending on that :/#whether he’s frozen in disbelief or actively involved in the retrieval of kieran’s body (if he’s even around at all)#javier isn’t really the type to scream and sob out in pain in the moment but i do think that when he finally had a moment to himself (likely#all the way in chapter six considering how chaotic everything gets and how he’s involved in like … everything following that) (which also re#minds me that he literally goes and gets tortured in guarma immediately after losing his lover. i have to kill myslf. anyway.)#i think it probably hits him like a train and he begins to hack and throw up like the weight of grief is literally crushing his organs from#the inside out 😕 javier escuella the lover that you are sets you up for such devastating heartbreak im so sorry#idek how much i want to tag this. maybe ill pull a moss and start using my own tags for characters#rdr2#image#hero's talking to himself again#hero’s kieran#hero’s javier#hero’s javieran#just so i dont have to clog up tags 💛#i will tag#javieran#as normal though
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PLEASE READ THIS ASK. I PROMISE YOU WON'T REGRET IT.
Um..... hi.
It's the Silent Giggler.
I know I'm the last person you want to see or talk to rn but I wanted to apologise properly for what I said to you earlier today.
It was rude and uncalled for. I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote comment, but that doesn't excuse my behaviour.
I wanted to apologise for ruining your Halloween.
You're a really kind person and an amazing writer and I didn't appreciate that.
You're not an AI that can write everything I want all the time and it was selfish of me to even think so.
As an aspiring writer myself, I know what it's like to put your whole heart and soul into writing sth and how scary it can be to post it online because it's like you're putting your sweat, tears and a piece of your personality for everyone to see.
Deleting my old account was cowardly because it's wrong not to admit one's mistake especially if others were hurt in the process.
I want you to log out smiling instead of being even more upset than you were before you logged in.
Thank you for all the hard work you put into everything you write and I'm really sorry for what I said.
It was wrong and I did act like a bully towards you the moment I sent that comment.
You don't have to forgive me if you don't want to. I just don't want you to keep hurting after what I said to you.
PS: You don't have to answer this ask. I just wanted a chance to apologise properly to you.
Well…hello.
I appreciate the apology but I don’t think I can forgive you. I really and truly don’t know. What you said was rude and it was uncalled for and it does not in the slightest excuse your behavior towards me.
I do not celebrate Halloween but I do celebrate Day of the Dead…which you did in fact ruin for me this year. I was mourning the losses of people I cared about and to receive your comment on my fic that I worked so fucking HARD on despite losing so many people dear to me just…made everything worse.
I don’t think you understand but this week and month has been rough. So freaking rough but despite that I have been TRYING to post fics continuously because I care about my followers and I know how much people enjoy my work.
I am not an AI that just…writes to write. I write from my heart but most importantly it’s a HOBBY of mine; a hobby you made me question.
And I’m still now trying to comprehend WHY you did all of this. You’re a writer. You know full well what’s it’s like so…why? What the actual hell did I do to you?
We are strangers. I do not know you. And for you to treat me like what you did was just…sad.
PLUS you’ve SEEN my posts about me going to be inactive and having a hard day.
And personally? I don’t log into this site smiling anymore because of people like you. You are, like, the 5th person this MONTH that has done something like this and I’m tired.
The amount of time and work that I put into my fics mean nothing and they never will because there is always just…someone always trying to put me down.
People don’t care about me— it’s just the work I produce and even then it doesn’t satisfy people like yourself.
You are a bully and I don’t understand what I did to get a comment like that. No offense, but I think you should know better regarding the fact that you are like…3 years older than me.
I’m tired and I’m hurt. And I don’t know what to do anymore really
#😬😬😬#🫥🫥🫥#Welp…#This is awkward#Don’t mind me guys…#Asks#Ask box#Answered asks#I hope you are well aware I’m 15-#Yk de-activation sounds pretty good right abt now- I MEAN WHAT WHO SAID THAT⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️
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this is apparently a Supernatural blog now
do you ever think for wayyyy too much about that scene where Dean and Cas thought that they were saying goodbye forever in the finale episode of season 8? and the fact that there were two other dudes literally visibly falling in love with each other like 10 feet away? and you start clawing your own face off?
no? just me?
#I remain amused that I decided to become obsessed with this show fully 15 years late. never mind.#for the record I did watch seasons 1-5 back in 2012/2013 but I already had a fandom I was very active in at the time.#anyway: there will continue to be stupid SPN posting on main if any of my followers want to block the tag 😅#spn#supernatural#spn season 8#spn watch#I love this gay angel so much#destiel
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Hi Stella :) I’m in your inbox for the fic ask thing
Here’s the symbol I chose ✿
Howdy howdy :V
✿ did anything major change when you started writing [fic] to when you finished?
In general, I feel like I either have a solid idea of the whole fic (because most of what I write are oneshots) or I develop the fic as it goes so it’s not really a ‘change’ per se... the change tends to be ‘knowing where I actually want to go with it’ lol. also, a lot of times when I write it tends to be during times of stress and transition, so for example that are major changes like ‘when I started writing this fic I was in school, when I finished the fic I graduated’.
oh, for the fic I’m trying to write now (for a given definition of ‘trying’ -_-) the change is: before I didn’t know much about fishing in japan, now I know... still not a lot but I have some logistics. also another major change for it is that I was originally going to do a oneshot of a couple of different scenarios and then was like... hm... with the oneshots being based on hobbies/activities, I can see a way to make this a multichapter getting together fic...’ so that’s A Major Change. actually I have the exact moment I realized this in the tags of a post hang on let me dig it up
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I have done it
According to the DCU Guide, I have read every single Post-Crisis Pre-Flashpoint comic that features main universe Selina Kyle. And I have to say... Good lord was that not worth it.
#catwoman#selina kyle#catwoman comics#Don't get me wrong#along the way i read loads of interesting and compelling stories#in series i didn't even know existed#and now there's a bunch of runs i'm looking to check out in full#Gotham Central. JSA: Classified. Simone's BoP. No Man's Land.#but being generous there's about a 15-20 percent of issues that i read that are actively bad#never mind the merely incompetent and mediocre#I will compile and highlights reel reading list if people want#but... all of it? No. Just no.
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I'm not a huge meta head when it comes to lbc (my principle is as long as I survive longer than the enemies, I'm good w whatever) but man there really are some picturas out here that have the most beautiful art but then have the most god awful effects
#👓#'gain 15% dodge when snowing' for example#okay first off when could you dodge in this game#second off when does it snow in this game#does that mean when the battlefield is in snow??#is there a specific visual effect when it is snowing that activates this effect?#how many battles would this even be useful for#and more importabtly#WHY IS IT ON MY GODHEIM CLARENCE EPILOGUE PICTURA#im sure theres some other example but that effect is always the one that comes to mind when i thjnk about#just confusing as hell effects
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I love the fact that I can work as hard as I can manage with a broken tooth and a dying tooth (one on each side, I've been chewing on the cavity for a year) and I still cannot save even $10 towards getting dental treatment (2 impacted wisdom teeth, + tooth broken off under the gum, + bad cavity) because I barely make enough to cover my food and board and the insane energy bill
#I'm just ranting don't mind me it's fine I am continuing to exist as usual I may delete this later bc it's a bit of a bummer to read#I prefer to keep my blogging to fun or otherwise nonserious content because it's supposed to be for decompression no real world drama here#I got into a 3 hour body language study and earned $50 so I spent that as fun money on a couple games during the Steam sale just to#take a break from the constant cycle of getting paid and then immediately saying goodbye to all but about 15 cents#(well it was 1 game Slime Rancher 2 and then 2 expansion packs one for Planet Zoo and another for Cities Skylines long play hours mileage)#I've tried to budget to buy small things like a fan or a toothbrush maybe (mine is 8yrs old and doesn't charge sometimes) but NOPE#let alone stashing away over $2000 for the amount of treatment I need given tooth extractions are $200-$500 each#I use about $50 of groceries a week ($30 USD) sometimes up to $80 if I need to buy some extra toiletries or bonuses like ham/falafel/bread#our last quarterly power bill was $1900 FOR NO REASON even for a winter one#olessan oration#the work I have is HIT/mturk type work which pays amazingly well and I am so grateful because I can't work in a traditional environment due#my inability to sleep/wake on anyone else's schedule and need for engaging work but it also means each worker is basically a contract worke#picking their own hours which is VERY HARD to stick to for me since I may also have ADHD-i but that diagnosis also costs like $2000 in Aus#so I'm doing my best fucking lmao#I have a set minimum hours I want to keep up to and move to full time but I am so exhausted by the constant background noise of#the tooth problems that I burn out very quickly#like the tooth ache isn't that bad#the tooth is actively dying but the pain isn't unbearable it just shits me off at all times#it's bearable most of the time and doesn't affect my sleep unless the temp is cold or something#it's been bad this week tho so I've gone through almost all my ibuprofen managing it#the tooth that broke off broke off earlier in the year and the gum has mostly healed over and the dead root is concealed inside my gums now#that stopped being painful in mid 2021 but when it died it was pretty bad it did stop me sleeping for a couple weeks#Christmas 2021 involved me contemplating ripping the tooth out myself lmao#the nerve eventually died seemingly without an abscess#unless I DID have an abscess but that seems extremely unlikely because abscesses are SEVERE AND HORRIBLE AND LIFE THREATENING#sometimes I can feel the tooth ligament wiggling on its own or I like flex it by accident it's so weird bc the tooth is gone so#the ligament is still holding onto the root but with way less weight#anyway I am eating my mac n cheese n veg with the side that has the missing tooth because the cavity tooth has a big bruise along the gumli#gumline which may be from overzealous brushing (I fill the tooth will temporarily filling putty and it needs to be cleaned well when the#putty falls out)
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after seeing those tom gifs i know i followed the right account
OMG plsss 😭
if you liked those you should've seen the amount of tom stuff I was rbing from like 2016-2019 ... that was my mcu and subsequently my tom phase and let me tell u... the number of tom photos + gifs I had saved to my phone was astronomical tehehe
#honestly who doesn't like a bit of tom#in my mind everyone has had a tom holland phase#and i miss mine#mostly bec i was like 15/16/17and those were some great years i cant lie#honestly don't know how active i was during tumblr in my heavy heavy tom years#bec this was right when civil war was coming out (the mcu movie...) and i got attached to peter parker+tom right away#honestly tysm for sending this ask#im glad you can hopefully relate to my love of tom#and that you enjoyed the gifs<3#asks#anon
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not only does michael watch supernatural, he FINISHED supernatural
#actively losing my mind over this instead of doing what i’m supposed to imsofhdkfjf#HIS TASTE IN TV IS. ITS. ITS SOMETHINGKFLDJF#fighting for my life on discord as we speak but . i cannot deny. he IS dean winchester coded-#also i’ve never actually watched spn i can’t talk about it just. yeah. Yeah He Would#the guy had NOTHING better to do 15 seasons of batshit insanity it is#⁂ ・゚: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc
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i rly like that i'm at a place with my art where i can literally see the improvement from one piece to the next
#it's not perfectly linear and it depends on how much effort i put into a piece#but like. i'm actually developing an intuitive sense for anatomy#i know that i'm still not very good at it but i don't mind anymore because i know that i AM getting better#and that i can KEEP getting better#i can start a piece with a vision and i can make the vision happen on the paper#not perfect! definitely still clumsy! i have things i know i want to work on!#but instead of being frustrated and unsatisfied with every piece bc i only see the flaws#i like looking at my own art now#and it's only rly been in the past year or so that i've been actively working on getting better#so it's just. nice :)#i'm like a level 15 writer level 6 actor and a level 2 visual artist kfsjhfkjdjd#so when i'm suddenly gaining access to level 3 artist abilities it's like OH WOW#whereas it feels like i haven't leveled up my writing in years#anyway. being able to physically see ur progress in a skill is nice i recommend it
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the horrors persist but so do i
i was trying to make a meme but i fucked up the audio layering and
#byrd chirps#me when I'm actively experiencing The Horrors but i spent my entire childhood so anxious that i am now incapable of worrying about myself#i genuinely do not know if that's a good thing or not#i just spent like 15 years crying myself to sleep due to paranoia and anxiety#and then i just realized one day that such is the pattern of life: shit happens and there's not really much i can do about it#and even if there is obsessing and ruminating just makes things worse#so now it takes an active psychotic episode for me to become concerned about anything#cause in my mind it's like. well either things are going to be okay eventually or I'm going to die#no sense in crying about it when I've still got a chance to make it out of this and into an upswing#i mean i very much do cry sometimes but it's almost never out of fear it's just owch oof my bones why am i still suffering#can the universe either lend me a hand or take me out back to be shot like a toothless dog already? lmao#I don't know if i have no sense of self preservation whatsoever or if this is my method of self preservation#could be both! who knows lol
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Why is Alestair such a dumb dumb
#this is old as hell and is also from high school#you can tell it's old because this is before I changed Alec to be a nickname Vi assigned him and not one that he actively encourages#cause she calls him Alec because she finds his real name 'too long' and it bothers him but he never really did anything about it#because when I made him Alec was just a nickname he chose to go by as a child that he later abandons as an adult#but I changed my mind#they are both 15 in this scene#also Idan almost died so that's why Alec is dumb as hell for this but his is also drunk and wasn't entirely aware so#i just realized i made up a word
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