#active-mind-15
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Maybe I'll make a post on this at some point but like, something deeply fucked up about TNP and Po3 that people have totally forgotten about is how badly they try to whine that "Tigerstar Had Good Traits :("
Firestar does it, Brambleclaw does it, and they keep doing this after it becomes this GRAND irony that Firestar almost gets Tiger'd to death in a fox trap because he was too trusting. Bramble gets his pity award of keeping deputyship and then cries to his son about how No One Saw The Good In Tigerstar :(
And it's wiiiiild that no one else in this fandom has done anything with the fact that Leopardstar broke the Warrior Code to appoint Hawkfrost, who had no apprentice, an extremely aggressive and warmongering Tigerclone who says things like "Tigerstar wasn't the worst cat to look up to." ONLY qualifying trait was being kinda like Tigerstar.
And she practically did that the SECOND Mistyfoot went missing. And then Leopardstar continued to be one of the most violent and xenophobic leaders through Po3, joining with WindClan to attack ThunderClan.
What I'm getting at is that like, a few years ago, with books like "Blackfoot's Reckoning" and "Shadow in RiverClan" it's like they suddenly decided to retcon in a bunch of "redemption arcs" in hindsight. They just pretended like there was this grand high reckoning with TigerClan, when there literally wasn't, and if anything that caused SERIOUS problems for the cast that the authors didn't fully acknowledge as such.
And now ppl haven't actually read the main series and are just working with their recent memory of all these retcon books.
But TNP and PO3 are still there, and you can go and see the ACTUAL timeline where Leopardstar is really not apologetic at all, and Blackstar is a useful stooge for the very next wannabe dictator that strolls in, in spite of the new side content that COMPLETELY mischaracterized them for their plots to work.
#I just wish people could be more critical of this#And im not entirely anti-retcon. Mind you#But I am here because i think these retcons make them WORSE characters. It's BAD for a character to GET a book with a redemption arc and--#Then they don't change at all and act like totally different people later in the timeline#And Leopardstar is the worse one between her and Blackstar BECAUSE she has sooo many active choices here#Im confident in my choice for BB the more I think about it. Leopardstar's dismantling of the bonehill was good#But it works better as a tragedy imo with the rest of the series in mind#That for a brief moment. A fleeting whim. She could have changed.#But she never did.#And Blackstar who was FAR less repentant at the time DID eventually turn around.#At the end of the day one of them appointed Hawkfrost as codebreaking deputy.#And the other did not.#And I think it's fucking bullshit the way that Leopardstar's retcondemption implies that Hawkfrost was just so tricky he mislead her#The old and experienced leader who had been fooled by a tiger before and was soso sorry for it. Just got tricked.#Like fuck off. She never had a redemption. Stop trying to tell me she did 15 years later#She's a girlboss who empires too close to the sun in pursuit of power and drags everyone down with her#Not a sad weepy smolbean#Bone babble#Warrior cats analysis
208 notes
·
View notes
Text
So, I'm rewatching Criminal Minds, soooooo, here's my character sexuality headcannons and ships and why.
🫀🦷🫀🦷🫀🦷🫀🦷🫀🦷🫀🦷🫀🦷🫀🦷
Character sexuality headcannons:
Gideon - straight, somewhere in the aromantic spectrum
Rossi - straight but experimented
Hotch - bicon w/preference for women
Elle - bisexual lesbian (i know, controversial)
JJ - bi girlie
Prentiss - lesbian queen
(Jemily, my beloved)
Reid - bi (cannon if they weren't cowards)
Morgan - bicon part 2 electric bugaloo
Luke - pansexual, demiromantic babes
Garcia - pan/lesbian/queer (leaning slightly more queer)
Reasons:
Gideon -
He doesn't radiate sad gay old man vibes like some others (cough cough hotch cough cough) but he definitely isn't entirely straight either, I feel like he takes a minute to grow a connection and it's that connection he needs to pursue a healthy relationship. So probs demiromantic (maybe i project, sue me !! I want more demi romantic characters) but could also fall on other areas of the aromantic spectrum.
Rossi -
Similar to Gideon, doesn't radiate the same gay old man vibes and I loved his relationship with hayden (joys mum). However, he is canonically a kinky bastard in his youth, and he most definitely had no qualms about fucking around with guys, he wasn't attracted to them and is instead just one hell of an ally who was also heavily involved in queer and kink scenes.
Hotch -
SAD OLD GAY MAN VIBES !! I do enjoy his relationship with haley, and i know he can have had a strong fulfilling relationship with a women without being attracted to her, but I do think he is attracted to women. But he also just radiates sad gay dad there fore 💫bicon hotch💫. Also, he was a troubled teen in an all boys boarding school...I will die on the fact he was a bit of a whore in his youth before haley, I wish we had more on his backstory and what the timeline was but in my head - all boys boarding school for most of his early and mid teenage years before meeting haley late/final year of highschool post transfer - I can't remember if that is even possible with what we know in show but I don't care !! Also, defo had a little thing for garcias friend in the Halloween episode when he gets Jack's costume.
Elle -
I didn't know what I thought she would be at first cuz like she defo loves women but she does have a thing with men then it struck me, both !! She defo would fuck a man but would not want a relationship with one/has no romantic attraction to them. Women on the other hand, she with eat their pussy and put a ring on it at the same time like a true queer icon. I know it's a controversial label but also, they're fiction characters and want to make fun head cannons with fun words !!
JJ -
She just is. Like, I could write a whole essay on the parallels of queerness with JJ, but I'm already yapping excessively and those video essays already exist sooooo I'll let them be lol. Also, i love jemily so much but NO ONE TALKS BAD ABOUT WILL LAMONTAGUE JNR. his and JJs relationship is so cute so I shall multi ship and throuple these mother fuckers as much as I please.
Prentiss -
Literally the OG man hating lesbian and I love her for it. She has never been attracted to a man in her life and i shall die on that hill. Emily prentiss, know I love you deeply.
Reid -
Literally the most stereotypical bisexual to bisexual. And I love him for it. Like, he likes women, but he had more chemistry with Ethan in a SINGLE EPISODE than with JJ (jeid, my UNbeloved) I love my bisexual nerd.
Morgan -
I won't even lie to you this is mostly for angst and hurt/comfort purposes. He lost his father young and took on the role as 'man of the house' incredibly young, then their was C*rl B*ford, and I just love a self realisation fic where he comes to terms with the fact that he is allowed to be attracted to men and that not discount his past trauma and be COMFORTED FOR IT !!! don't get me wrong, all the characters (especially reid) have gone through it, but please!! Give me some morgan-centric fics where he gets comforted and it not delve into other characters trauma. I love reid but please, I need morgan centric hurt/comfort fics where he doesn't act uncharacteristically violently.
Luke -
Ngl, this is entirely vibes. There's nothing I can point to for 'evidence' or 'proper' reasoning, it is just straight up vibes and I choose to stand by it.
Garcia -
This is where I struggle !! Cuz like, she is definitely not straight and I kinda want to say she's a lesbian but I love her relationships with kevin and I love galvez so much. So maybe pan cuase I think i have put too many as bi lol but I also think maybe she would just be unlabelled and 'queer' (let me project onto my favourite characters okay !!), so probs leaning more towards queer but still up in the air.
Just a little extra here. Hotches stint as a whore, and JJ in a throuple aren't meant to be comments on bisexuality as an identity. For hotch, i just love the trope of very stoic/serious/otherwise unsuspecting character being a whore on the past mostly then for the accidental 'oh, during this very important situation and the person whose important we must talk to I have slept with fuck' moments I love ngl. And I just love both JJ and wills and JJ and Emily as ships and want them all together and happy and see next section for further reasoning. Just got worried on case this fell into any stereotypes of bi people being 'greedy' or unable to have committed relationships or being known for sleeping around. It was not intended !!
🫀🦷🫀🦷🫀🦷🫀🦷🫀🦷🫀🦷🫀🦷🫀🦷
Ships I like and why:
• Jemily
A classic. They're so fucking close and so cute with eachother. They lean on eachother and know nigh everything about eachother even stuff they have been told not to share. I love them together and they'd be fucking precious together!!
• JJ × Will
A cannon straight ship I like. This is highly unusual. I love will with JJ, and honestly just Will as a character. They're relationship and family together is so sweet and cute and I love them as a couple I won't lie. Also male wife × girlboss
• Emily × JJ × Will
I do ship them both speratley but do love a good throuple ship. JJ with her wife and husband, living her best life. I love both these ships and have never been a fan of infidelity trope in fic, and honestly, I want to see wine besties Will and Emily cuz they so would be. They would both put their lives on the line for JJ and that creates a base if respect and trust between them.
• Galvez
I LOVE PENELOPE AND LUKE !!!! I love how garcia is cold at first to him and stand offish and Luke just puppy wags tail 'she's so cool' 'I've heard she's so nice' I love it !! They're precious together and I'm so mad they didn't go through with it in the og 15 seasons (reboot don't let me down on this)
• Morgan and garcia QPR
I do love Morgan and garcia but I don't like them as a romantic couple. I love their violently flirty yet platonic friendship HOWEVER !!! I do love them as a queer platonic relationship. They're is something there that is more than platonic but not romantic and I also just want more QPR stuff in media (including fan media) also: shout out to my irl QPP cuz she will get her appreciation !!! Love you babes (even tho you'll probs not see this)
For next section, just know i stand heavily by SHIP AND LET SHIP. I don't like these for my own reason, if you do SLAY !! I love that for you. But for me, it's just not a fave.
🫀🦷🫀🦷🫀🦷🫀🦷🫀🦷🫀🦷🫀🦷🫀🦷
Ships I don't like and why:
• Jeid
...why? Just why? Reid had a small crush on her in SEASON 1 then she confesses to being in love with Reid in SEASON 14!! there was no build up, or even really mention on it between that time, including which JJ getting a husband and family and Reid going through his love life with Maeve and that whole situation. I like them more as brother and sister type vibe.
• Anyone on the team with Hotch, Rossi, or Gideon
I just don't like it. They all feel like the parents of the team so them shipped with anyone else feels icky to me.
#criminal minds#fandom ships#ships#jemily#galvez#jason gideon#david rossi#luke alve#aaron hotchner#jennifer jareau#emily prentiss#spencer reid#derek morgan#luke alvez#penelope garcia#headcanon#sexuality headcanons#i shall be cringe and free#i want to have fun#ive seen so much fandom discouse it has made me more active in fandom spaces than previoulsy out if sheer spight#i shall have fun no matter how weird others think#ill be fun#i shall yap#and i shall be free from the ideas of 15 year olds who have never been involved in fandom past trying to moralise people#through how they have fun within fiction#its a cow farm THERES GONNA BE COWS OUTSIDR#also#none of these were ai generated#cuz apparently thats a thing#these are all straight from a 1am brain thank you !!
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
somewhere on this blog there is a post that goes something like "what if i just start identifying as nonbinary and don't tell anyone and still go by she/her" and that needs to be marked as the day that pandora's box opened
#ik it's my blog etc etc etc but i do try to not sad post often anymore just bc after a while#it becomes a lot akjdsjkdjk#however. this is also the closest i have to an unfiltered diary. so!#idk man ik (im pretty sure) rapid onset dysphoria is a thing or something but like#edit: the most rudimentary of google searches show that this may or may not actually be what i mean but like. 20% effort went into that#the magnitude of bad i have felt in the past week is kinda wild to me#like ive been feeling stuff softly like that for a while now w/ an increase come september#for like. reasons that ik but also reasons that dont necessarily matter rn#but it's like. less a realization and more so steps of becoming more comfortable/feeling more secure#but in that security i essentially run into a brick wall#like i joke abt whatever post i made years ago but it's like#lowk this feels like what i was worried abt this happening LMAO#like this idea of things kinda actualizing in my mind for me#but the actual capability of what i can do feeling limited#like. i have no clue what transitioning would/could necessarily look like for me#but it's starting to feel very much like: whatever it is won't happen#which ik is like. bad queer mindset 1#and then i am falling to bad queer mindset 2 of like. feeling bad that this took so long#and that i didnt put together stuff. or try more. earlier.#and that i've now like. run out of time. which ik is not true so like.#the self-awareness is here! i'm also just stubborn lmao#and like idk currently i'm just in the hell of not wanting to do the middle stuff#i just want to wake up one morning and be different AKJDFKJFDKJFD#anyways! i swear im not actively trying to spiral like every day this week#just my mental constitution is weak and susceptible to demons. and also anxiety and sadness LMAO#and as me and my roommate say. it's never too early for the guilt spiral.#also the pandora's box technically opened when i was like 15 but.#we put a lid on that and then everything came back worse when i was like. idk 19/20.
14 notes
·
View notes
Text

ohh javieran … javieran post kieran’s death .., javier is a poor lonesome cowboy in america a long way from home with no more sweetheart to sit and talk with him ooohhh can anyone hear me ….
#someone on tiktok found poor lonesome cowboy in an old archival-esque book of cowboy and campfire songs and as soon as i saw this i gasped#ummm burst into tears actually ! thanks ! i’m so sad !#poor lonesome coyotito who parted from his city and who has no sweetheart to sit and talk with him ☹️#they make me miserable#i was just gonna put this in my drafts but i already have 15 drafts and i fear if i continue to put ideas in my drafts “for later’’ i will#never make another post again … so instead of setting myself up for disappointment i’m just gonna start posting like i do on twt#which is where i post every unfiltered thought i have :)#it’s MY blog and I get to make useless textposts constantly because i know im incapable of making any actual content atm#i’m hoping to draw something based off of this some day though :( i’m already having ideas#usually i sit in my mind palace and tinker with my au where kieran lives but unfortunately sometimes i must face reality and think about#javier’s loss and heartbreak in canon <//3#i need to rewatch kieran’s death cutscene and see where javier is and what he does because i’ll have to write his initial#response to grief depending on that :/#whether he’s frozen in disbelief or actively involved in the retrieval of kieran’s body (if he’s even around at all)#javier isn’t really the type to scream and sob out in pain in the moment but i do think that when he finally had a moment to himself (likely#all the way in chapter six considering how chaotic everything gets and how he’s involved in like … everything following that) (which also re#minds me that he literally goes and gets tortured in guarma immediately after losing his lover. i have to kill myslf. anyway.)#i think it probably hits him like a train and he begins to hack and throw up like the weight of grief is literally crushing his organs from#the inside out 😕 javier escuella the lover that you are sets you up for such devastating heartbreak im so sorry#idek how much i want to tag this. maybe ill pull a moss and start using my own tags for characters#rdr2#image#hero's talking to himself again#hero’s kieran#hero’s javier#hero’s javieran#just so i dont have to clog up tags 💛#i will tag#javieran#as normal though
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
PLEASE READ THIS ASK. I PROMISE YOU WON'T REGRET IT.
Um..... hi.
It's the Silent Giggler.
I know I'm the last person you want to see or talk to rn but I wanted to apologise properly for what I said to you earlier today.
It was rude and uncalled for. I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote comment, but that doesn't excuse my behaviour.
I wanted to apologise for ruining your Halloween.
You're a really kind person and an amazing writer and I didn't appreciate that.
You're not an AI that can write everything I want all the time and it was selfish of me to even think so.
As an aspiring writer myself, I know what it's like to put your whole heart and soul into writing sth and how scary it can be to post it online because it's like you're putting your sweat, tears and a piece of your personality for everyone to see.
Deleting my old account was cowardly because it's wrong not to admit one's mistake especially if others were hurt in the process.
I want you to log out smiling instead of being even more upset than you were before you logged in.
Thank you for all the hard work you put into everything you write and I'm really sorry for what I said.
It was wrong and I did act like a bully towards you the moment I sent that comment.
You don't have to forgive me if you don't want to. I just don't want you to keep hurting after what I said to you.
PS: You don't have to answer this ask. I just wanted a chance to apologise properly to you.
Well…hello.
I appreciate the apology but I don’t think I can forgive you. I really and truly don’t know. What you said was rude and it was uncalled for and it does not in the slightest excuse your behavior towards me.
I do not celebrate Halloween but I do celebrate Day of the Dead…which you did in fact ruin for me this year. I was mourning the losses of people I cared about and to receive your comment on my fic that I worked so fucking HARD on despite losing so many people dear to me just…made everything worse.
I don’t think you understand but this week and month has been rough. So freaking rough but despite that I have been TRYING to post fics continuously because I care about my followers and I know how much people enjoy my work.
I am not an AI that just…writes to write. I write from my heart but most importantly it’s a HOBBY of mine; a hobby you made me question.
And I’m still now trying to comprehend WHY you did all of this. You’re a writer. You know full well what’s it’s like so…why? What the actual hell did I do to you?
We are strangers. I do not know you. And for you to treat me like what you did was just…sad.
PLUS you’ve SEEN my posts about me going to be inactive and having a hard day.
And personally? I don’t log into this site smiling anymore because of people like you. You are, like, the 5th person this MONTH that has done something like this and I’m tired.
The amount of time and work that I put into my fics mean nothing and they never will because there is always just…someone always trying to put me down.
People don’t care about me— it’s just the work I produce and even then it doesn’t satisfy people like yourself.
You are a bully and I don’t understand what I did to get a comment like that. No offense, but I think you should know better regarding the fact that you are like…3 years older than me.
I’m tired and I’m hurt. And I don’t know what to do anymore really
#😬😬😬#🫥🫥🫥#Welp…#This is awkward#Don’t mind me guys…#Asks#Ask box#Answered asks#I hope you are well aware I’m 15-#Yk de-activation sounds pretty good right abt now- I MEAN WHAT WHO SAID THAT⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
this is apparently a Supernatural blog now
do you ever think for wayyyy too much about that scene where Dean and Cas thought that they were saying goodbye forever in the finale episode of season 8? and the fact that there were two other dudes literally visibly falling in love with each other like 10 feet away? and you start clawing your own face off?
no? just me?
#I remain amused that I decided to become obsessed with this show fully 15 years late. never mind.#for the record I did watch seasons 1-5 back in 2012/2013 but I already had a fandom I was very active in at the time.#anyway: there will continue to be stupid SPN posting on main if any of my followers want to block the tag 😅#spn#supernatural#spn season 8#spn watch#I love this gay angel so much#destiel
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hi Stella :) I’m in your inbox for the fic ask thing
Here’s the symbol I chose ✿
Howdy howdy :V
✿ did anything major change when you started writing [fic] to when you finished?
In general, I feel like I either have a solid idea of the whole fic (because most of what I write are oneshots) or I develop the fic as it goes so it’s not really a ‘change’ per se... the change tends to be ‘knowing where I actually want to go with it’ lol. also, a lot of times when I write it tends to be during times of stress and transition, so for example that are major changes like ‘when I started writing this fic I was in school, when I finished the fic I graduated’.
oh, for the fic I’m trying to write now (for a given definition of ‘trying’ -_-) the change is: before I didn’t know much about fishing in japan, now I know... still not a lot but I have some logistics. also another major change for it is that I was originally going to do a oneshot of a couple of different scenarios and then was like... hm... with the oneshots being based on hobbies/activities, I can see a way to make this a multichapter getting together fic...’ so that’s A Major Change. actually I have the exact moment I realized this in the tags of a post hang on let me dig it up

11 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have done it
According to the DCU Guide, I have read every single Post-Crisis Pre-Flashpoint comic that features main universe Selina Kyle. And I have to say... Good lord was that not worth it.
#catwoman#selina kyle#catwoman comics#Don't get me wrong#along the way i read loads of interesting and compelling stories#in series i didn't even know existed#and now there's a bunch of runs i'm looking to check out in full#Gotham Central. JSA: Classified. Simone's BoP. No Man's Land.#but being generous there's about a 15-20 percent of issues that i read that are actively bad#never mind the merely incompetent and mediocre#I will compile and highlights reel reading list if people want#but... all of it? No. Just no.
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm not a huge meta head when it comes to lbc (my principle is as long as I survive longer than the enemies, I'm good w whatever) but man there really are some picturas out here that have the most beautiful art but then have the most god awful effects
#👓#'gain 15% dodge when snowing' for example#okay first off when could you dodge in this game#second off when does it snow in this game#does that mean when the battlefield is in snow??#is there a specific visual effect when it is snowing that activates this effect?#how many battles would this even be useful for#and more importabtly#WHY IS IT ON MY GODHEIM CLARENCE EPILOGUE PICTURA#im sure theres some other example but that effect is always the one that comes to mind when i thjnk about#just confusing as hell effects
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I love the fact that I can work as hard as I can manage with a broken tooth and a dying tooth (one on each side, I've been chewing on the cavity for a year) and I still cannot save even $10 towards getting dental treatment (2 impacted wisdom teeth, + tooth broken off under the gum, + bad cavity) because I barely make enough to cover my food and board and the insane energy bill
#I'm just ranting don't mind me it's fine I am continuing to exist as usual I may delete this later bc it's a bit of a bummer to read#I prefer to keep my blogging to fun or otherwise nonserious content because it's supposed to be for decompression no real world drama here#I got into a 3 hour body language study and earned $50 so I spent that as fun money on a couple games during the Steam sale just to#take a break from the constant cycle of getting paid and then immediately saying goodbye to all but about 15 cents#(well it was 1 game Slime Rancher 2 and then 2 expansion packs one for Planet Zoo and another for Cities Skylines long play hours mileage)#I've tried to budget to buy small things like a fan or a toothbrush maybe (mine is 8yrs old and doesn't charge sometimes) but NOPE#let alone stashing away over $2000 for the amount of treatment I need given tooth extractions are $200-$500 each#I use about $50 of groceries a week ($30 USD) sometimes up to $80 if I need to buy some extra toiletries or bonuses like ham/falafel/bread#our last quarterly power bill was $1900 FOR NO REASON even for a winter one#olessan oration#the work I have is HIT/mturk type work which pays amazingly well and I am so grateful because I can't work in a traditional environment due#my inability to sleep/wake on anyone else's schedule and need for engaging work but it also means each worker is basically a contract worke#picking their own hours which is VERY HARD to stick to for me since I may also have ADHD-i but that diagnosis also costs like $2000 in Aus#so I'm doing my best fucking lmao#I have a set minimum hours I want to keep up to and move to full time but I am so exhausted by the constant background noise of#the tooth problems that I burn out very quickly#like the tooth ache isn't that bad#the tooth is actively dying but the pain isn't unbearable it just shits me off at all times#it's bearable most of the time and doesn't affect my sleep unless the temp is cold or something#it's been bad this week tho so I've gone through almost all my ibuprofen managing it#the tooth that broke off broke off earlier in the year and the gum has mostly healed over and the dead root is concealed inside my gums now#that stopped being painful in mid 2021 but when it died it was pretty bad it did stop me sleeping for a couple weeks#Christmas 2021 involved me contemplating ripping the tooth out myself lmao#the nerve eventually died seemingly without an abscess#unless I DID have an abscess but that seems extremely unlikely because abscesses are SEVERE AND HORRIBLE AND LIFE THREATENING#sometimes I can feel the tooth ligament wiggling on its own or I like flex it by accident it's so weird bc the tooth is gone so#the ligament is still holding onto the root but with way less weight#anyway I am eating my mac n cheese n veg with the side that has the missing tooth because the cavity tooth has a big bruise along the gumli#gumline which may be from overzealous brushing (I fill the tooth will temporarily filling putty and it needs to be cleaned well when the#putty falls out)
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
after seeing those tom gifs i know i followed the right account
OMG plsss 😭
if you liked those you should've seen the amount of tom stuff I was rbing from like 2016-2019 ... that was my mcu and subsequently my tom phase and let me tell u... the number of tom photos + gifs I had saved to my phone was astronomical tehehe
#honestly who doesn't like a bit of tom#in my mind everyone has had a tom holland phase#and i miss mine#mostly bec i was like 15/16/17and those were some great years i cant lie#honestly don't know how active i was during tumblr in my heavy heavy tom years#bec this was right when civil war was coming out (the mcu movie...) and i got attached to peter parker+tom right away#honestly tysm for sending this ask#im glad you can hopefully relate to my love of tom#and that you enjoyed the gifs<3#asks#anon
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
not only does michael watch supernatural, he FINISHED supernatural
#actively losing my mind over this instead of doing what i’m supposed to imsofhdkfjf#HIS TASTE IN TV IS. ITS. ITS SOMETHINGKFLDJF#fighting for my life on discord as we speak but . i cannot deny. he IS dean winchester coded-#also i’ve never actually watched spn i can’t talk about it just. yeah. Yeah He Would#the guy had NOTHING better to do 15 seasons of batshit insanity it is#⁂ ・゚: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
i rly like that i'm at a place with my art where i can literally see the improvement from one piece to the next
#it's not perfectly linear and it depends on how much effort i put into a piece#but like. i'm actually developing an intuitive sense for anatomy#i know that i'm still not very good at it but i don't mind anymore because i know that i AM getting better#and that i can KEEP getting better#i can start a piece with a vision and i can make the vision happen on the paper#not perfect! definitely still clumsy! i have things i know i want to work on!#but instead of being frustrated and unsatisfied with every piece bc i only see the flaws#i like looking at my own art now#and it's only rly been in the past year or so that i've been actively working on getting better#so it's just. nice :)#i'm like a level 15 writer level 6 actor and a level 2 visual artist kfsjhfkjdjd#so when i'm suddenly gaining access to level 3 artist abilities it's like OH WOW#whereas it feels like i haven't leveled up my writing in years#anyway. being able to physically see ur progress in a skill is nice i recommend it
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
the horrors persist but so do i
i was trying to make a meme but i fucked up the audio layering and
#byrd chirps#me when I'm actively experiencing The Horrors but i spent my entire childhood so anxious that i am now incapable of worrying about myself#i genuinely do not know if that's a good thing or not#i just spent like 15 years crying myself to sleep due to paranoia and anxiety#and then i just realized one day that such is the pattern of life: shit happens and there's not really much i can do about it#and even if there is obsessing and ruminating just makes things worse#so now it takes an active psychotic episode for me to become concerned about anything#cause in my mind it's like. well either things are going to be okay eventually or I'm going to die#no sense in crying about it when I've still got a chance to make it out of this and into an upswing#i mean i very much do cry sometimes but it's almost never out of fear it's just owch oof my bones why am i still suffering#can the universe either lend me a hand or take me out back to be shot like a toothless dog already? lmao#I don't know if i have no sense of self preservation whatsoever or if this is my method of self preservation#could be both! who knows lol
73K notes
·
View notes
Text
speaking of fisher main behaviour this week's tragic happenstance is that i actually caught every fish outside of ocean fishing now and im so desperately wanting to fish im side-eyeing the absolute rng horror that is ocean fishing completion
#i like ocean fishing but the absurdly short intuitions actually actively piss me off#i already sincerely fucking despise intuition as a mechanic despite not minding it when going for big fish#namely that big fish usually let me set up for intuition procs somehow and usually give me enough time to do something for a while#those 9 seconds are two casts. i get more casts in for something like fingers. be for fucking real here even just 15 would be okay#hell even the half an ingame hour fish get more in#(uhhhh fingers is. an arr fish thats up for an in-game hour. didnt pull that name out of a hat)#also after like a couple hundred attempts at the chain shark i caught two. within the three swimbait i stored up. like thanks.#i was expecting this to be this expansions aapoak (i didnt get that until endwalker) or the.#whatever dickhead scrip fish you need to trigger intuition for sidreal whale. every attempt of that was a fever dream to me#so i kinda memoryholed everything about that fishing spot away. nothing of value was lost#tl;dr little miss The Final Fish sad she caught the final fish. more at 11
2 notes
·
View notes