#acrania

[sufferingsuccubuss]

l̶̬̞͎̖͉̹̝͕̝͖̣̉͆ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅb̸̼̋͛̑͆̈́͗̿̅ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅt̸̫̫̤͕̳̻̰̣̭́̌̉͝ͅŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅm̵̢͕̫̓̔͑̊̈i̶̡̹͈͎̳̞͙͖̾̂̀͑̀͆̑̓̽̉͐͘͘ͅs̴̹̀̎̇͗̍͗̾̋̏̈͐͒̕͠͠ͅë̸͓̮͉͈͇͍̖͎̩̞͈́́́̋̇̾͋̈́̾͆͑͘͘͜͠͝ d̶̡̲̗̼̮̤̤̳̲͖͓͍͔͓̓̎̽́̽̏̐͂̆͆͘͘͘ë̸͓̮͉͈͇͍̖͎̩̞͈́́́̋̇̾͋̈́̾͆͑͘͘͜͠͝ḥ̸̨̧̗̮̖̽̂̓̀̍̋͋́̅̃͘͜͝u̷̬̩̰̫͕̘͎̔́̃̄̍͋̓m̵̢͕̫̓̔͑̊̈ǎ̴̯̀͠ǹ̷̨͍̮̥̹̘͙̗̻̬̬̜̥̮̃̒̈́̽͗̿̍̄̂̏͆͠͝i̶̡̹͈͎̳̞͙͖̾̂̀͑̀͆̑̓̽̉͐͘͘ͅs̴̹̀̎̇͗̍͗̾̋̏̈͐͒̕͠͠ͅë̸͓̮͉͈͇͍̖͎̩̞͈́́́̋̇̾͋̈́̾͆͑͘͘͜͠͝ ǹ̷̨͍̮̥̹̘͙̗̻̬̬̜̥̮̃̒̈́̽͗̿̍̄̂̏͆͠͝ë̸͓̮͉͈͇͍̖͎̩̞͈́́́̋̇̾͋̈́̾͆͑͘͘͜͠͝ǧ̷̡̟̲̹̩̱͉̮̭͇͚̮̖̟̽̓͊̔̓̕ǎ̴̯̀͠t̸̫̫̤͕̳̻̰̣̭́̌̉͝ͅë̸͓̮͉͈͇͍̖͎̩̞͈́́́̋̇̾͋̈́̾͆͑͘͘͜͠͝

my photo | ig:sufferingsuccubus

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

A Tennessee woman who was denied an abortion despite a fatal abnormality says the state’s anti-abortion laws resulted in her losing an ovary, a fallopian tube and her hopes for a large family.

“The state of Tennessee took my fertility from me,” Breanna Cecil, 34, told The Independent. She added that state lawmakers “took away my opportunity to have a family like my own biological family because of these horrible laws that they put in place.”

The mother-of-one said she has not felt the same since her doctor told her in January 2023 that her fetus was diagnosed with acrania, a fatal condition where the fetus has no skull bones.

Then, 12 weeks pregnant, Ms. Cecil was getting her first ultrasound. She attended the appointment alone, so when the doctor told her the fetus was not viable outside the womb, she was left with only asking the doctor what she should do.

However, she was left with few options. The state’s near-total abortion ban prevents anyone from getting an abortion if there is still a heartbeat - which her fetus still had.

The law makes no exceptions for fatal conditions and also criminalizes physicians who perform the procedure outside of the allowed exceptions.

Ms. Cecil recalled the doctor not knowing how to respond to her question about her options.

“That’s something that no one should ever hear,” she noted.

The doctor set her up with a specialist, where another ultrasound was conducted. That scan was more difficult, she says, because she could see the severity of the fetus’ condition. “I could see the brain not attached,” Ms Cecil said.

The only advice doctors could give offer was that if she had her second child it would “most likely die inside of me before 20 weeks” and she would be forced to deliver a stillborn.

The news was crushing as Ms. Cecil said her pregnancy was starting to show. Not only could she not “mentally handle” the well-intentioned questions about the baby’s due date and sex, she said she could not be a “good mom to [her] little boy” if she was forced to go through with her pregnancy, and deliver the stillborn.

She decided to get an abortion.

After “sobbing to receptionists” at roughly 20 clinics and hospitals in a desperate attempt to get an appointment, she finally had success. A hospital in Chicago had an opening. On 3 February, doctors performed a dilation and curettage procedure.

Just six days after returning to Tennessee, thinking the worst was behind her, Ms. Cecil started experiencing a fever and back pain. Her doctor gave her antibiotics, but something still wasn’t right.

She went for another ultrasound and the physician found retained tissue leftover from the fetus, which can have serious consequences. Doctors performed another procedure on Ms. Cecil hoping it would be the end.

Her fever persisted and two days later, she returned to the hospital, where doctors discovered she had a nine-centimeter-sized abscess in her abdomen that encompassed some of her reproductive organs.

Doctors had to perform emergency surgery on her, and removed her right ovary and fallopian tube.

Ms. Cecil returned home after a grueling 10 days in the hospital.

Ms. Cecil and her husband had spent nearly a year trying to conceive that pregnancy. “Fertility and infertility is really hard to go through in itself,” she said, noting the couple thought they’d finally gotten through the difficult stage.

So when news of the fetus’ condition hit, she blamed herself and asked the nurses: “Did I do something wrong?”

Since her third procedure, she and her husband have not been able to become pregnant. Ms Cecil doesn’t think it’s a coincidence and wonders if not for Tennessee law, would she still have her fertility?

“Right now I feel like they took that away from me,” the 34-year-old said of state lawmakers.

Ms. Cecil said she wanted to make clear to legislators that “abortion is not black and white,” explaining that every situation is different.

Like Texas woman Kate Cox, who was also denied the procedure in her home state, Ms. Cecil wants a large family; neither woman falls within the stereotype that many on the right are portraying as abortion candidates.

The young mother added pregnant people who need an abortion shouldn’t feel like they need to beg for permission from lawmakers who do not have medical backgrounds.

Often, women in these situation are “deciding if we want our child to suffer” after being born or are “waiting until they die inside of us,” Ms. Cecil said.

She added she still doesn’t feel normal more than a year after the pregnancy. Physically, she has a scar that stretches from her belly button down to her pelvic bone that has caused her fat to become displaced. Emotionally, she said, “I think about that baby all the time.”

While she and her husband have been trying for another baby, she often breaks down and thinks, “I just want that baby. Why didn’t that work out?”

Ms. Cecil contemplated joining a group of women, represented by the Center for Reproductive Rights, who were denied abortions and are now fighting the state’s prohibition, asking for “clarity” on the ban’s medical exceptions.

She decided not to become a plaintiff in the case because she feared others’ opinions of her decisions.

On 4 April, a three-judge panel listened to arguments from lawyers from the center and the state about a temporary block of the abortion ban. The center’s attorneys mentioned a series of heartbreaking stories from the plaintiff — as well as a woman whose baby was diagnosed with acrania.

They were referring to Ms. Cecil.

The three-judge panel has yet to rule on the temporary injunction in a state that is one of 14 across the nation that made abortion illegal since the end of Roe v Wade in June 2022.

After hearing the oral arguments, Ms. Cecil now wants to join the case. “If someone doesn’t ever want to hire me again because of what happened to me, I just don’t care. I’m not gonna let that bother me anymore,” she said.

She’s lived in Tennessee since she was seven years old, and while she has been tempted to leave, she refuses to let the anti-abortion crowd force her from her home.

“I can’t back down and let them win this battle,” Ms Cecil said.

[mattrkusocinderdrilla]

[asleepinamorgue]

Aradia

[frecords]

we butter the bread with fruits

Metalcore is fun! (as you may hear at the end)

The rhythm of the intro is a water sprinkler at a garden show, the voice imitates the sound of a guitar.

The whole song was inspired by we butter the bread with butter, a german deathcore band that sets nursery rhymes to music. It also features the infamous 'Send them to the slaughterhouse' breakdown by Acrania from Disillusion in a Discordant System.

love song?

This was inspired by Meine Hoe by Alligatoah. It features castagnettes and shakers. It's a song about artifical lifestyle and inner beauty.

[joshgrobanscock]

i’m crying two of my favorite bands involved jack fucking simmons i would die for him now

[alexis-tnc]

you should listen to acrania :O

Ooooh I've heard of themmmm. I'll listen later and maybe post my opinion

[colorful-cryptid]

This was tough but I think I’m happy enough with the list and the order so here it is:

1. Indestructible - Disturbed

2. The Air That I Breathe - All That Remains

3. 7861 - Beneath The Sky

4. The Human Condition - Chelsea Grin

5. Exterminate the Liberated - Acrania

6. Chelsea Smile - Bring Me The Horizon

7. The Sinner - Memphis May Fire

8. Deadweight - Parkway Drive

9. Invisible Scars - Breakdown of Sanity

10. The Art of Dying - Gojira

11. The Storm in Me - Phinehas

12. No Ordinary Love - Memphis May Fire

13. Marathon - August Burns Red

14. Absent - Sylosis

15. Hold On - Gojira

16. World to Come - Gojira

17. Eternity - Before I Turn

I’d like to tag @cruciform-solidarity and @fae-are-friends

TAG GAME

You are allowed one album's worth of preexisting songs (5-17) compiled from artists of any genre... with the goal of explaining your troubles, your history, your joy and your internal struggle to the world.

I'd like to hear your life's album, if I may.

(I'll reblog with my own answer later on, after I've had more time to consider it 🙃)

Anyone I didn't tag also feel free to join in!

@betadeku @oncealoseralwaysaloser @when-you-cant-think-of-anything @safety-pin-punk @foxtale-the-novisolant @tzipor-feather-blog @funnyartthingz

[darkarfs]

Acrania - Fearless

Fearless is not just an album but a deluge of the last century of popular music in the new world, spreading out as far as Rio De Janiero, Miami, Montreal and San Fransisco. Acrania are far beyond fusion, brewing up a focused, voltaic liquor of progressive and entirely human songs that cover more ground than a monsoon and with twice the fury. They’re scrappy enough to pull all of this genre-bending off with barely a lick of pretense but serious enough to follow through with their ideas, blending relentless polyrhythmic percussion with adventurous riffing and a liberal use of wind instruments towards an end like no other.

Simply put, Fearless is a tour de force of nearly everything I love in music. It has the intensity and intelligence of Death and Cynic, the rhythmic tomfoolery of Meshuggah, the adventurousness of The Mars Volta, incisive lyrics of Gaza or Gojira, and heaps of Latin flavor that I grew up playing in so many school jazz bands. It’s so fresh it makes Genghis Tron look like Bloodbath and so fun it makes Revocation look like the National Society of Accountants.

Take for instance “Hypocritical Conflict.” Drawn in by wailing winds and indecipherable drumming, it immediately switches gears into catchy grind-thrash riffing with big-band horn hits before a samba bassline ushers in its next movement. More of this stop-and-go madness, along with some of the album’s most brilliant dynamic contrast can be found in the bridge of “Poverty Is in the Soul,” whose anti-capitalist lyrics get shouted out with passion and a Beardfish-ian disregard for syllable count. “I Was Never Dead” flies through four minutes on a wave of Santeria drumming, d-beats and even a brief foray into foxtrot. The rapid rhythmic turnover and at times unconventional song structures make for a taxing listen on paper, but instead absolutely invigorate due to the band’s energy and clever use of repetition. Not once across the album’s 38 minutes do the band glimpse at their navels or stare at their reflection, muddied as they are by the uncontrollable flood of their own creativity.

Fearless is a work of endless ends, each terminus flowing into the infinite confluence of style and genre that soaks anything in its path, frothing out and spilling into every nook and cranny of your little ear canals. From the trumpet’s cheeky plundering of “Tequila” that plays out “People of the Blaze” to the extended take on Victor Frankl’s existentialist philosophy in “Man’s Search for Meaning,” there’s simultaneously nothing beyond Acrania’s grasp yet nothing beneath their level. No other band in the world sounds like Acrania. Like Fair to Midland or Genghis Tron, their music is so steeped in individuality and character that the very idea of it mesmerizes, its identity so clear and so strong. Fearless not only succeeds in its mixture of genres, its excellent songs, and its scope, but on a much deeper level; it feels whole.

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

A ‘twisted’ experience: How KY’s abortion bans are depriving pregnant patients of health care

BY ALEX ACQUISTO

On the way to her 20 week ultrasound, Amy English texted her family group chat inviting guesses on her baby’s biological sex.

“Baby boy English muffin!” her father in-in-law texted.

“I thought boy at first but I’m thinking girl now,” her sister-in-law said. “My official guess is a girl :).”

It was December 28. Earlier that morning, Amy, 31, her husband David, and their 20-month-old daughter Annie had celebrated a belated Christmas at their house in Louisville with family visiting from out of state.

Amy and David had planned this pregnancy, and it was, in a way, perfectly timed. Their baby’s due date was five days after Annie’s birthday. Her children would be two years apart almost exactly to the day — a reality Amy was “ecstatic about.”

Sitting in a fluorescent-lit room inside Baptist Health Louisville, Amy looked for familiar shapes on the screen as an ultrasound tech probed her abdomen. Familiar with radiology in her career as a physical therapist, she has a baseline understanding of how to read ultrasounds: gray shapes usually indicate fluid, and bone shows up as white.

Amy remembers seeing her baby’s arms, legs and the curve of its back. But there was no recognizable outline where the skull should be.

“I couldn’t see the top of my baby’s head,” Amy said in an interview with the Herald-Leader. “I kept waiting for the tech to move the probe in a way where we could see what we should be seeing. I could tell she was searching for it, too.”

Amy had also learned in school about anencephaly, a severe fetal birth defect impacting the brain and skull. A lack of folic acid early in pregnancy increases the likelihood of this happening. This possibility flashed in her mind but she quickly batted it down; she’d been taking her prenatal vitamins, rich in folic acid, for months even before discovering she was pregnant.

The tech paused, then spoke.

“What we’re looking for here is an outline of the baby’s head, and right now I’m not really seeing that,” the woman explained before calling in Amy’s longtime OBGYN.

Over the next few minutes, Amy remembers the room blurring as she heard her doctor use the word “acrania,” which is when a fetus matures through pregnancy without ever developing parts of its skull. It can spur anencephaly, when the brain, too, is underdeveloped and partially missing. Pregnancies with either of these conditions are nonviable.

Amy’s baby, which they learned was a boy, had both. He would not survive into childhood, likely not beyond a few minutes after birth.

This, alone, was devastating news. Her dismay was compounded the next day when she learned that terminating her nonviable pregnancy, even by way of an early induction — a commonplace and provider-recommended method of treatment for such a diagnosis — couldn’t happen.

Even though Amy’s baby would never survive outside her womb, the pregnancy still had a fetal heartbeat — a technicality, considering the diagnosis. Coupled with the lack of immediate threat to her health, her doctors explained they couldn’t induce labor, much less give her an abortion. Kentucky laws forbade it, they said.

“I don’t know what was more shocking: to find out the baby had anencephaly, or that I would have to go out of state to get this care,” Amy said.

Kentucky’s abortion bans do not legally permit the standard of care treatment for a nonviable pregnancy like Amy’s. As a result, doctors must refer patients needing otherwise medically-recommended terminations out of state in droves, along with people desiring elective abortions, according to interviews with seven providers across four hospital systems. Providers who terminate pregnancies in violation of the trigger law can be charged with a felony in Kentucky.

Though this scenario is increasingly common statewide, it’s one arbiters of the state’s laws have yet to remedy, and one lawmakers are not publicly working to resolve.

Kentucky’s trigger law, enacted in late June 2022, criminalizes abortion except to prevent a “substantial risk of death,” or to “prevent the serious, permanent impairment of a life-sustaining organ of a pregnant woman.” The fetal heartbeat law also includes these exceptions but otherwise bans abortion except in a “medical emergency” once fetal cardiac activity begins, usually around six weeks.

Any time a pregnancy is terminated, each law requires a provider to document in writing why it was necessary to, in the case of the six-week ban, “prevent the death of the pregnant woman or to prevent a serious risk of the substantial and irreversible impairment of a major bodily function of the pregnant woman.”

The law permits the Cabinet for Health and Family Services to audit any licensed health care facility to make sure its abortion reporting requirements are “in compliance” with the law.

Both bans allow physicians to use their “reasonable medical judgment” when deciding whether pregnancy terminations are medically necessary. But providers interviewed for this story said that guidance is antithetical with the rest of the law’s limits, which only permit terminations in medical emergencies. There are no exceptions for fetal anomalies, or for the gamut of conditions that may make a pregnancy nonviable but don’t pose an immediate or emergent health risk to a pregnant person.

Moreover, the lack of uniform guidance from the state on what’s considered an emergency means definitions across hospitals sometimes vary, the Herald-Leader found. This has created a legal thicket for health care institutions. As a result, the final say on some critical medical decisions affecting pregnant patients is falling not to medical experts, but to hospital attorneys and administrators, who are worried about legality, liability and reputation.

The Herald-Leader asked the University of Kentucky, UofL Health and Baptist Health for insight into how their respective risk management teams and providers are navigating the laws. None responded to multiple questions about respective protocols for deciding when terminations are legally defensible, or how risk management teams, administrators and providers go about deciding.

“Clinicians have a responsibility to provide compassionate, evidence-based care and counsel to their patients, and also comply with the law,” Baptist said in a statement.

“UofL Health is committed to provide comprehensive health care to all its patients and their families,” UofL said in a statement. “In the case of a nonviable pregnancy that poses a health risk to the mother, we explain options for care while complying with all state and federal laws.”

“Although we cannot discuss when or how our legal counsel gives advice,” UK HealthCare said, “in Kentucky, state law prohibits the University’s physicians and staff from performing abortions except when the mother’s life is in danger. In the case of a nonviable pregnancy, our health care staff work with patients to determine the best course of care for the patient that is consistent with state and federal law.”

‘WE COULD NOT PROVIDE THIS SERVICE HERE’

The morning after Amy learned her baby likely had a fatal birth defect, the diagnosis was confirmed at a second ultrasound with a high-risk specialist. The buoyancy and excitement of the prior day was replaced with dread and grief. Amy remembers the quietness of the room during the second ultrasound, the hollow clicking of the keyboard keys and the intermittent clicking of the computer mouse.

Baptist Health refused to make Amy’s doctor available for an interview. But their conversation was outlined in Amy’s medical records, which were provided to the Herald-Leader.

“I discussed this finding with the patient and offered my sincerest condolences — that this was not compatible with life and that I am so sorry she and her husband are in this situation,” the doctor wrote in her notes. “She was understandably tearful.”

Amy listened as her provider explained her two options: Amy could carry her son to term and deliver him via C-section. He would immediately be taken to palliative care, where he would live a few minutes, maybe hours. Grief counselors would be on standby.

Her second option was to terminate the pregnancy early by way of an abortion or preterm induction. “Choosing not to continue the pregnancy: we discussed that this is also a loving choice for a baby that will certainly not survive,” her doctor wrote.

Pre-trigger law, termination under these circumstances would’ve happened in a hospital, and Amy’s health insurance likely would’ve covered it.

“No part of me wanted to be pregnant anymore,” Amy said. “Every flutter and kick he gave felt like a literal gut punch reminder that I would never get to take him home.”

Strangers were already approaching her at the grocery to ask to touch her stomach. Her patients at work often asked how far along she was. It seemed emotionally unthinkable to continue subjecting herself to a life where, at any moment, she would be forced to repeat that her growing body was nurturing a baby that wouldn’t live, she said.

Termination was what Amy wanted. She erupted into sobs when her doctor told her that under her current circumstances (her life wasn’t immediately threatened, and there was still a fetal heartbeat) it wasn’t an option.

“We discussed that due to our current Kentucky laws, we could not provide this service here,” her doctor wrote in her records.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Amy remembers the specialist saying.

She gave Amy a list of hospitals and clinics in surrounding states that might be able to terminate her pregnancy. Her doctor recommended calling Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago, or another clinic in Illinois, where abortion is widely available.

“Am I just supposed to Google the number, call the front desk and ask, ‘How do I get an abortion at your hospital?’” Amy remembered thinking.

Over the next few days, she, her husband and sister-in-law cold-called a handful of clinics to request a dilation and evacuation abortion, common in the second trimester. But a combination of abortion restrictions in Indiana and Ohio, including gestational limits on when abortion is legal — Amy was 21 weeks along at this point — left her with few options.

Then, Amy’s sister, a nurse anesthetist at Northwestern Medicine Kishwaukee Hospital in Dekalb, west of Chicago, stepped in. Her hospital lacked the equipment for a D&E, but they agreed to induce Amy.

On January 4, after driving close to 400 miles, Amy was induced and gave birth to a son she and her husband named Solomon Matthew. He didn’t cry. His heart beat for about two minutes before it stopped.

‘NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO’

The Republican-led General Assembly has made no moves to amend or further clarify either abortion ban since both took effect seven months ago, even though the combined impact has harmed patients, doctors have told lawmakers.

The Kentucky Supreme Court still hasn’t issued a preliminary opinion on whether either law infringes on a person’s constitutional right to bodily autonomy and self-determination. Deciding so would temporarily block one or both bans from being enforced. Convened for a regular session through March, the Republican supermajority has yet to file any bills related to reproductive health care access and likely won’t until the high court weighs in.

In the meantime, there’s disagreement about whether or not either ban infringes on providers’ ability to dole out the standard level of care to pregnant patients.

Kentucky Supreme Court Justice Michelle Keller and former Deputy Chief Justice Lisabeth Hughes raised this point during November oral arguments in the pending court case from the state’s two outpatient abortion clinics challenging the constitutionality of both laws.

The trigger law “doesn’t recognize an exception for women who are under the care of a physician who tells them that the standard of care would be to terminate the pregnancy,” Hughes told Solicitor General Matt Kuhn, arguing on behalf of the Attorney General’s office.

As a result, “What’s really happening is physicians in (hospitals) all over the commonwealth are calling the risk managers and attorneys for the hospitals not knowing what to do,” Keller added. “You’re obfuscating what this trigger statute says. There isn’t a strict life of the mother exception.”

The law’s proponents, including Republican Attorney General Daniel Cameron, have cited the provision in the law that allows for use of “reasonable medical judgment” as protecting doctors’ autonomy, and that any challenge to that fact is overblown.

“The law has an explicit health exception, (which) depends on a ‘reasonable medical judgment’ from physicians,” Kuhn told Kentucky Supreme Court Justices that day. There’s been “a lot of misinformation” suggesting the law doesn’t adequately protect a pregnant person’s health, he said, citing two advisories Cameron’s office has issued since both measures took effect. Both clarify that in vitro fertilization, and abortions as treatment of miscarriages, preeclampsia and ectopic pregnancies don’t violate the law.

As for the host of other conditions not mentioned, “we are continuing to work with Kentucky doctors giving guidance on that,” Kuhn said.

But no written evidence of that guidance appears to exist. In response to an open records request from the Herald-Leader, Cameron’s office said this week it had no written or electronic records of communication between the Attorney General’s office and licensed health care facilities or providers regarding the trigger law or six week ban.

‘AN UNNECESSARY PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL RISK’

It was mid June when Leah Martin, 35, discovered she was pregnant with her second child.

Pregnancy at ages 35 and above is considered geriatric. Aware that her age meant she faced a heightened risk, she opted for genetic testing early on to gauge any abnormalities.

Her first ultrasound didn’t raise any alarm. At just over nine weeks, Leah took a prenatal genetic test. The results a week later showed “low fetal fractal numbers,” she said in an interview.

That result, her OBGYN told her, could mean there hadn’t been enough material collected to show a clearer result. It could also signal an abnormality.

Leah, wanting to be judicious, got a more exact genetic test just before 12 weeks. She quickly learned her fetus had triploidy, a rare condition that causes the development of 69 chromosomes per cell instead of the regular 46. It causes not only severe physical deformities, but triploidy stunts development of crucial organs, like the lungs and heart. It means a fetus, if it even survives to birth, will likely not live beyond a few days.

What’s more, Leah was also diagnosed with a partial molar pregnancy, which causes atypical cells to grow in the uterus and, as Leah’s doctors told her, could lead to cancer.

It was mid-July, and Kentucky’s trigger law and six week ban had been in effect for barely two weeks. Leah was familiar enough with what both laws restricted and assumed that because her pregnancy could cause her cancer and was nonviable, she would lawfully qualify as an exception.

So, she weighed her options with her doctors at Baptist Health Lexington, who included Dr. Blake Bradley, her longtime OBGYN.

Similar to Amy’s diagnosis, Leah’s doctors told her that even if she opted to carry the pregnancy to term, her baby “would live a short life in palliative care, most likely never leaving the hospital. It would really be a quite painful existence,” she said.

“I have a 2-year-old at home, and I’m 35, weighing how I would like to expand my family. It seemed like the safest option for me and the compassionate choice for my unborn child was to terminate the pregnancy,” she said.

Like Amy’s, a medically-necessary abortion under these circumstances would typically take place at a hospital, doctors interviewed for this story said. Leah’s health insurance had already agreed to cover it. It was also the quickest way to help Leah to her end goal: getting pregnant again in order to birth a child that would survive.

It was July 21 and Leah was just over 12 weeks pregnant when she learned that Baptist’s legal counsel had blocked her doctors from giving her a dilation and curettage abortion.

“I was told the hospital refused to perform the procedure while the case was being litigated. I was dumbfounded,” Leah said. Hospital lawyers cited an ongoing lawsuit from Kentucky’s two outpatient abortion providers that’s pending before the Kentucky Supreme Court.

According to Leah, hospital providers, relaying the message from administration and risk management, reportedly said if her fetus died on its own, doctors would be able to terminate her pregnancy. But their hands were tied as long as it had a heartbeat.

“People minimize that pregnancy, even under its best circumstances, is associated with life-threatening risks, life-altering risks and emotional impacts,” Bradley told the Herald-Leader. “So, to compel a woman to continue a pregnancy that is by everyone’s assessment, doomed, by definition places that woman at an unreasonable and unnecessary physical and psychological risk, period.”

Baptist Health refused to make Leah’s high-risk doctor available for an interview.

The following Monday, July 25, Leah had an ultrasound at the hospital to confirm what she already knew. As an ultrasound tech probed her abdomen, a wheel of dizzying emotions spun in her head: she desperately wanted a baby, but she didn’t want to birth a child into a painful existence.

Already faced with a gutting dilemma, she felt further burdened by having such an intimate choice ripped from her. And she was furious at now being forced to remain pregnant despite there being no chance for survival, despite the risks continuing such a pregnancy posed to her own body.

She remembers staring at the ultrasound screen waiting to hear the muffled heartbeat of her fetus, racked with guilt because she hoped she wouldn’t.

“It was such a twisted experience being pregnant with a baby I desperately wanted, lying there hoping its heart had stopped,” she said shakily. “It was horrible to have to wish for that in order to receive care. It just felt so unsafe and cruel.”

Leah had already arranged to drive to Chicago to get an abortion when a Jefferson Circuit judge issued a preliminary injunction on July 22, temporarily blocking the state from enforcing both bans. She immediately called EMW Women’s Surgical Center in Louisville — one of the plaintiffs in the lawsuit against the state — and made an appointment.

On Wednesday, July 27, almost 13 weeks pregnant, Leah paid $950 out of pocket for her abortion. Her insurance wouldn’t cover it, since it was considered elective. The following Monday, the Kentucky Court of Appeals overturned the circuit court injunction, reinstating both abortion bans.

After Leah’s abortion, she sent a message to her high-risk doctor. Her doctor responded the following day. Leah shared that correspondence with the Herald-Leader.

“You’ve been on my thoughts a lot,” her doctor wrote. “Words cannot express the dismay I feel right now. I’ve spent my whole adult life learning how to care for mothers in heart wrenching or dangerous situations like yours, and the politics now make it not only impossible, but to work to take care of patients like they deserve — with compassion and science — in these horrible situations is wrong and immoral.”

“I hope your procedure yesterday was smooth, though I know it was hard,” her doctor wrote. “I’m so sorry we could not (were not allowed, rather) to take care of you here.”

[hunter1976xbox]

GOP torture

“I’m gonna carry my baby to bury my baby…” Nancy Davis Nancy

Davis is a Louisiana woman whose fetus was missing the top of its skull, a condition called acrania. She was 10 weeks pregnant when an ultrasound showed this rare but fatal condition. Acrania kills babies within minutes or days of birth. Louisiana’s abortion ban contains a general exception for fetuses that cannot survive outside their mothers’ wombs, however, if your condition is not on the list, you’re shit out of luck. She was sent home and told she had to carry to term. Nancy subsequently had to travel from Louisiana to New York to receive the medical care she needed. This is not pro-life this is inhumane. Republicans don’t govern they torture.

[spahhzy]

A modern AU in which Jaune has mistaken auditions for voice acting, now he has found himself trying out for a band.

A deathcore band.

He has impressed lead guitarist Pyrrha as well as drummer Nora and rhythm guitarist Lie Ren, with his range in vocals and together the four form, JNPR.

<basing them around bands like White Chapel/Chelsea Grin/Lorna Shore/Rings of Saturn and / or Acrania Strain>

But can you imagine Jaune singing 'to the hellfire'? Lmaoooo

[fuckin-pistol-whipped]

a song fr each lettr of ya url

thanks ya fr taggn @human-bacteriophage

f - fodder- the march violets

u - ugly deeds - angelspit

c - cake and sodomy - marilyn manson

k - knee deep - angelmaker

i - if you’re watching - fear cult

n - night crawler - judas priest

p - pistol whipped - marilyn manson

i - i’m your last hope - ektomorf

s - she is suffering - manics

t - toteslaut - nåstrond

o - on fire (12” version) - revolting cocks

l - lie - black light burns

w - worlock- skinny puppy

h - haunt me - wednesday 13

i - IFHY - tyler the creator

p - pneuma - tool

p - packin a punch - tairrie b

e - exterminate the liberated - acrania

d - drive fast take chances - acid king

taggn : @4st7lbrremastered @t0xicmentalwaste @septemberunderground @impuls1ve @irresponsible-hatee

[joshgrobanscock]

acrania :

(repetitive but sick guitar)

(screams) SEND THEM TO ________

(pig squeals)

[vykodlak]

You got a list of that free jazz death metal? 👀

The band I'm currently shilling for at work is Encenathrakh, the 'free jazz' elements in there rlly come through in their highly improvisational approach (more free than jazz). Warning that it can sound very grating if you're not used to xtreme metal. That's about where the world of "free jazz death metal" ends (to my knowledge), unfortunately.

But as far as more, uh regular jazz/dm fusions go, Cynic are one of the best known for good reason. I can't not mention Pestilence either. You might like Atheist but I haven't really dived too deep into their discography so I can't say much about them. Imperial Triumphant are not str8 death metal either but some of their albums do have both death & jazz elements. I also like Sleep Terror, Acrania (jazz/samba!), Pessimist (cynic worship with kinda clunky vocals), & Blotted Science. There's Rivers of Nihil, but again, haven't listened to them much - their first album was a big hit with the sax enjoyers I think. Arguably, Death's Human and Individual can be described as jazzy.

(Oh and they're not death metal necessarily but I'll b remiss not to mention Sigh's Imaginary Sonicscape)

Enjoy!