#aclrenaline

[knowstruth]

@aclrenaline sent: “is there any chance i could crash at your house tonight?”

"Of course." Addy doesn't even need to ask. Well, it's good to be polite and all, but of course the answer is always going to be yes. There's always a place for her at the table. "You know you're welcome anytime."

"You alright?" It's fine if she's sleeping over simply because she wants to, but knowing Addy, knowing victors and the capitol, there's a decent chance that's not it. There's a number of things that could be crawling in the backs of their minds at any moment. Maybe a badly-worded interaction with a sponsor, bone-chilling memories, a certain amount of governmental pressure, simply having to be in front of thousands of eyes. And whatever might be lurking there for Addy, Arista is ready to be there for her. Always.

[tornadotame]

@aclrenaline said … MIND IF I SMOKE?

“ only if you share. ” she’s supposed to be quitting, she wants to quit, but the response slips out of kate’s mouth without even thinking about it. it was a PRACTICED ONE, built in her early years at noaa, until she started buying packs of her own at the bodega near her apartment. she used to tell herself she was socializing with her coworkers in joining them outside- when really the action kept her hands from shaking too much, chased away the feeling of GRAVEL in her lungs. she knows it’s redundant, it’s not healthy. kate pauses, flashing addy a quick, if not somewhat awkward smile. she didn’t smoke five years ago, and if she remembers right she doesn’t think addy did either. something new to add to the list of things between them.

[fyrewalks]

addy (5'2") with tyler and javi !! (from @aclrenaline!)

there's a reason they picked Addy to sneak into hotel rooms! //@aclrenaline

[t4mingstorms]

@aclrenaline said : " i ’ve never been very good at friends. ”

kate had never been much of an expert on making friends either , nose buried too far into textbooks and her own notes to pay attention to the world around her but there'd been few exceptions . quirking an awkward smile , she isn't certain what to say --- knowing far too often she was in the same boat but with addy and the others friendship seemed to come naturally . " you're doing just fine to me , addy . "

[entriprises]

cathy & addy (addy is 5'2") from @aclrenaline !!

addy has never been asked to do a task on that property ever (kidding… mostly)

send your character's height and I'll compare it to mine. (site)

[knowstruth]

Her family. Arista's family. Rylan and her dad. "Uh, they... no one's told me anything yet. But they should be here soon." They should be coming any minute now. That must be why they haven't told her, they're going to get them so Arista can say hi to them herself. Any minute now she'll see them walk through the door. Rylan will be there, safe. She'll have kept him safe, like always. They must be just going to get them. "They'll be here soon."

Arista hasn't even noticed her hands trembling ever so slightly. But finally, she pulls away from the hug just a bit, just to look Addy over. She's here, and she's alive. In her arms. Safe, now. It's the first time Arista has seen her since the peacekeepers broke in and took them away, that memory of the screams and the blood the last image of her that she had for months. She can only look for that one moment before she's pulling the smaller woman back into the hug in full force.

"I'm so sorry, Addy. So sorry." For her parents, her sister. For the capitol and the months of pain. For having to hear Arista's suffering. All of it. "I'm so glad you're okay."

addy still can't quite believe it's all over. she'd thought the arena was the worst thing she'd ever go through — clearly, she'd been wrong. what they'd done to her in the capitol had been worse than anything in the arena.

“did they... is your family okay?” addy asks, quietly. she's never been to nine, has never met arista's family, but she knows from the way that arista talks about them that they're incredibly important to her. “i... they told me that my parents and callie didn't make it.”

she can hear the tears in her voice. she'd always been incredibly close with callie before the games; after the games, something in her had resented callie, how callie was allowed to stay the same and everything in addy had changed. the last time they'd talked, they'd gotten into a fight — callie had wanted addy to stop breaking into abandoned factories, had said that the peacekeepers had been asking around.

addy had told her sister that they couldn't hurt her, that she was a victor. the capitol citizens would want to know what happened to her. callie had said that the same didn't apply to their parents, and addy had ignored her, stormed out of their childhood home for the last time.

she hadn't thought anything would actually happen to them.

[orphanpupok]

♪

Song: "Swing Life Away" - Rise AgainstURL: what does it mean? D: | cute :> | yeah totally not ok | who did you kill =n= Icon: who is it? D: | aw cute | fabulous | who said this was ok | hahah nope

+ a compliment yay

You are the holder of the prettiest eyes award. Congrats.

[knowstruth]

@aclrenaline sent: tell me about your first.

Arista sighs, saddest smile on her face. Her first games as a mentor seem so long ago now, but at the same time it feels like so little has changed. Sometimes she is still 19, still just that scared. The tributes are still always so scared. So terrified. So small. Every year.

"It was two years after my games." A pencil in one hand absentmindedly doodles - stalks of wheat, a little bird. A fun little way to pass the time that Sadie introduced her to. "I still remember standing there on the reaping day and watching them walk up. The girl, her name was Selby, she was 16, and she walked up with her hands balled tight in fists, she had this look in her eyes. The boy, Baxter, he was 15 - he was so young-looking, it just pained me." Eyes are still on her simple little drawings. The smile has faded. "They were such sweet kids." She still sees their families, from time to time, around the district. It stings each time.

"I could hardly sleep with them in there." She could hardly sleep after both their cannons went off, crying every time she got back to her rooms. It's hard, finding that balance between comforting Addy and telling her the truth. "It's never easy, that first time."

[tornadotame]

@aclrenaline said : 𝙸’𝙼 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝙶𝙾𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚃𝙾 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃𝚈.

“ just because i’m laid up doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go unwind. have a drink. ” to call it a party may be a bit of a stretch - the wranglers plus javi gathered around the fire pit in her backyard. kate knows they’re heading back to el reno early in the morning to help more with clean up, and she wishes she were going too. but her catalog of injuries puts a stop to that; she has a feeling TYLER will be told to sit and stay too, given he can barely take a step without his wrapped up leg threatening to give out on him. her mother had wanted her immediately in bed once she had gotten home from the hospital, but kate has managed to SWEET TALK her into allowing her to stay out on the porch for a few hours, with the promise that she wouldn’t do anything to aggravate her concussion. she even swallowed down the itch to pour over her old notes, though some part of her still rattling brain kept nudging her incessantly to do so. there was so much work to be done.

kate glances at addy from the corner of her eye, bandaged and bruised fingers fiddling with the blanket in her lap. things aren’t one-hundred percent ok with them, she knows that. just like she knows they’ll probably never be like they were five years ago, too much distance and time between them. too much pain. so much of it because of her. but seeing addy at her side after everything unclenches something within her chest. her voice is soft. “ this was your project too. ”

[fyrewalks]

“I’m fine. This just happens sometimes. It’s normal for me.” // @aclrenaline

"Does it," he asks, doubt creeping into his voice as he hands Addy a few wadded up napkins. Tyler's got a proper first aid kit tucked underneath the passenger seat and another fuller kit of gear in the bed of the truck, but he doesn't think they'll need either just yet. He hopes, at least.

He'd picked up a few first aid skills in high school; it came with territory of farm life and the rodeo. Enough smashed fingers and deep cuts teaches you a thing or two, and as he got older, he formalized some of that with basic classes in high school and then longer, outdoor focused courses in college. It's helped more than a time or two while storm chasing, but Addy's apparent common nose bleeds is lost on him.

"Aren't you supposed to go to the hospital if the bleeding doesn't stop," this claim he's more sure.

[entriprises]

"oh i loved school, especially computer work. i would've stayed and gotten my four year degree if i hadn't decided to start up a farm." she doesn't look back on the decision with any regret. "in another lifetime i suppose."

@aclrenaline scored a 4/10 on the entriprises muse quiz

[tornadotame]

“ they’re gone. ” somehow, through a tongue that feels thick and weighted and a throat filled with gravel, kate finds her voice. it scrapes out of her chest and past her seizing heart, a whisper caught on the heavy, ozone scented air. there’s a part of her that wants to move, to stumble across the torn up landscape, screaming for jeb, for praveen, until she can’t anymore. there’s another part of her that wishes she could wake up in the back of jeb’s toyota, wrapped up in his arms, this whole thing some DISTANT NIGHTMARE.

kate knows better. kate is smarter than that.

her hands won’t stop shaking, her thigh pulsing with its own heartbeat. it’s not pain - it’s burning like a brand. kate steels herself to spare a quick glance - though the slick coating of blood and grime, she thinks she spies the white of bone. nausea threatens to strangle her, she isn’t sure if it’s from the wound or from her failure. she failed, she failed. and her friends, her colleagues, the people she loves…. it’s getting harder and harder to look at addy. “ they’re gone. ”

addy scrambles back, startled by the feeling of kate's hand on her face. there's dried blood flaking off her palm, rough on addy's cheek.

she hadn't expected kate to touch her. she hadn't expected any of this to happen. her breath comes in desperate, sharp gasps.

“'m sorry,” addy manages, wrapping her arms around her torso. her hands are bleeding, she's pretty sure — or is she imagining it? she isn't sure. she doesn't feel real. she's not sure she's real. she's not sure she's alive.

kate's silence rings in her ears.

there's only one answer to where the boys are.

she doesn't want to believe it. she can't believe it. jeb and praveen have to be somewhere. they're alive. they were with them. they can't. they can't. they can't.

“'m going to go find them,” addy says. “they can't... they're here somewhere.”

[knowstruth]

@aclrenaline sent: write me a letter. don't forget. i'll be waiting.

"I'll write you more than one letter," Arista says with a smile. It's always difficult, the goodbyes, when they have to go back to their own districts. Of course, it's good to go home - Arista loves Nine, she loves the little family she has waiting back for her at the victors' village. But every time, she's come to worry for Addy. Restless, dealing with all of this, without as much of a support system, away in Five where Arista can't get to her. Can't contact her. Even their letters are delayed, exchanging them during visits to the Capitol rather than trusting them to be delivered without any censoring or prying from authorities. She hopes the pages they've exchanged this time will be able to tide the younger victor over until they're reunited.

"And you'd better write me too, yeah? I wanna hear what you're up to. What's going on in Five. So don't stay too busy, alright?" Take care of yourself. Give yourself some time to relax, to write. To process in this way. A hand finds Addy's shoulder, giving a small momentary squeeze. "If you want, maybe I'll find some recipes to send you too. Test your baking skills. You can write back with results."

[tornadotame]

@aclrenaline said : 𝚒 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒'𝚖 𝚊𝚏𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚒'𝚖 𝚜𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚊 𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚏 '𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚖.'

“ addy, come on. ” she’s being dramatic, she knows, dragging her hands down the front of her face and barely resisting the urge to bean the other girl with her pillow. it’s early, the sun barely even a crack in the corner of the sky early, but kate hasn’t been able to sleep, jumping from staring down at the RADAR APP on her phone, to staring out the window as if the night sky would reveal anything of note to her. moving until she’s standing at the bottom of addy’s bed, she reaches out to tug briefly at the other girl’s foot, singing out in her best honey sweet voice. “ i’ll give you the honour of waking up javi? you know that’s always fun. ”

[fyrewalks]

[ lean ] sender rests their head on receiver's shoulder from // @aclrenaline

It doesn't bother him at first. A long drive, stuck in the back of Tyler's oversized, over tricked out truck, means there's little for Javi to do. Actually, given wi-fi is one of those fancy little tricks, there is plenty of work that Javi can be doing, but he chooses to ignore it. He leans back, closes his eyes, and indulges in a nap just as he would've years ago.

Instead of sinking into sleep, though, he dozes fitfully, muscles snapping him awake every time he gets close to falling into a deep sleep. This time, when he startles again, his chin hits something hard and he groans.

"Addy," he grumbles, her name half question and half accusation. "What the hell?"

[tornadotame]

“ addy…. ” there’s a painful rasp to her throat, her voice tight. seeing her former friend amongst THE WRANGLERS had felt like being doused in cold water - kate couldn’t believe javi hadn’t told her, and the fact that he wouldn’t meet her eye after the fact spoke volumes. he knew, but he hadn’t wanted her to know. arms pulled in protectively around her middle, her brown eyes skitter anxiously around the darkened motel parking lot. there’s still small groups of chasers and wanna-be’s scattered about, addy had rightfully cornered her after her attempt to retire and run-in with tyler owens’ crew, hurrying after her up the stairwell. she can’t say she blames her, she probably would have done the same if she was in her place, if she was more brave. but in many ways, addy was always the braver one.

“ i couldn’t do it anymore. after everything, i thought- i thought you wouldn’t want to see me again. i thought…. ” she almost got her killed. she’s the reason jeb and praveen were gone. the reason why she struggles to sleep at night. why the sound of the train outside her apartment still makes her feel sick. why she FAILED javi today. it’s always been her. “ i thought it was for the best. ”

@tornadotame said: “i told myself i was trying to protect you.”

“protect me?” addy scoffs. “protect me from what?”

she thought she'd gotten over oakhurst. she thought she'd gotten over losing her entire chasing team — her entire friend group — to that ef5. because, sure, she'd lived, and so had javi, and kate, but javi had been ‘too busy’ to hang out, and he'd run off to the military as soon as muskogee had given him his pity degree, and kate hadn't spoken to her since they'd been in the hospital together. no matter how much addy had called or texted or tried to visit. she'd thought she'd gotten over all of that. no matter how much she saw kate in the way that tyler stared at the horizon. or javi in the way lilly would be working on her drone with one hand and eating takis with the other. or praveen in the way that dexter stood over the radar, scrutinizing it intensely, a serious look on his face. or jeb in the way tyler absentmindedly drummed his thumbs on the steering wheel while driving.

“do you have any idea how i felt?” addy can hear her voice waver, the telltale crack of tears in her voice, and she swallows hard. she doesn't want to cry. she won't. “we walked out of that together. we shouldn't have, but we did. and you and javi...” she swallows hard again, looks at the ground. she can feel tears burning in the corners of her eyes, and she swipes them away angrily. “you and javi left me.”

she feels small. she feels like a child again, crying to her mother because callie had a new group of friends and left her out of everything.