#achievement journal

[hopeandduty]

~A Life of Adventure VI~

[stormyrainyday]

apologies this is far from a coherent shower thought but i think it's time we like. decided to detach our identity a bit from the things we do. it's fine to just read. you don't have to be a reader. it's fine to just game. you don't have to be a gamer. you can be those things but i feel like in a quest to find ourselves and open our hearts, especially to others online (because i know, the first thing we do when on a new platform is say hi im [name] i like these things we should talk, i know, i do, my pinned post is literally that), i feel like we forget that we are more than the things we do and even the things we love. we, to borrow words from slay the princess, contain it in our multitudes.

it's a sentiment i've felt for a long time as someone who has been on the internet and in fandom spaces for a good decade now, and like. i find when we hold these things so close that they become us, we become too defensive over them. how many minor fandom disagreements spiral into threats, name calling, doxxing even? i find, especially younger users in fan spaces, tend to take even small differences of opinion and take them personally. saw someone blow up and call people awful names over believing only one person could top in a genshin ship. another left a server i was in because they disliked a popular character, and other (respectfully), decided to share why they did like her. i get that things like rejection sensitivity are a thing, but i think this failure to recognize the self as an entity apart from the things you do and the thoughts you have definitely contribute to this. phenomenon i suppose.

it's genuinely slay the princess that has given me the vocabulary to express and understand this thing i was already thinking. i think, though we are not gods, it's important to understand that we are not things so easily defined. we consist of our thoughts, our actions, our perceptions, our beliefs, and more. even the outside world's perception of us reflects some part of our nature. but not all of it. it's impossible to define oneself in one, two, three words or even an essay.

because like we don't exist in a vacuum. part of our existence is defined in our interactions with others. but not all. never all. there is no one who can truly know you, and we cannot truly know ourselves. our principles bend to the whims of circumstance no matter what we tell ourselves otherwise, so we can't decide what we are or what we would be in a situation for sure, ever. and that's not a bad thing, but if we can't ever truly know ourselves, then how can we assign such great importance to something as superficial as the things we enjoy sometimes?

we are both a constant and the capacity to change. and to take just a handful of things and call it your identity, even subconsciously, is a disservice to the self. in an effort to be seen we break ourselves down into easy (i hate to say it but) marketable pieces.

take being a reader for example. it has always felt like vague slang for booksmart, thoughtful, likely quiet and introverted as well, just as much as it means "i like to read books". theres an aesthetic to it involved, and a whole subculture. do you write in your books? do you keep them museum-fresh quality? do you read smut or classics or high fantasy or satire and what does it say about you? if you say audiobooks aren't real literature, are you signalling to others about quality and sophistication, or are you a pretentious asshole, and ableist to boot? these connotations assigned to such an otherwise benign thing about someone are i think are reflective of the construct of identity and perception. i could go on about it in a way that's more coherent but i, a student, have other things to do right now.

(does being a student make me intelligent? does it impress you to know i study medicine? what if i told you i average Cs in my classes? what if i told you i dislike patient care? what if i told you i'm not here for the money OR to make the world a better place, and that i'm here purely to serve my curiosities about the way the body functions and to absolve my obsessive need to understand just what are we? does this change what you think of me? does it matter? what if you knew the guilt i felt for seeing so much suffering, but still hating patient care enough to worry endlessly about being stuck in it as a career? am i better for it? but i have not acted on this guilt. it is a mere feeling that only i know. knew. is it different now that i've confessed it? does it matter? does any of it change who i am, fundamentally? or am i a thing detached from it all? or. as i like to believe. is it both? your shifting perceptions of me and the way i change shape and form (so much like our beloved princess in slay the princess) in your eyes, they make up me just as much as the soul or the self or whatever other philosophical name you assign to it. at the end of the day, isn't the most important thing that i am just me? both devoid of and constituted of the sum of my parts? what is found in the spaces between my cells? impulses and chemicals. is that me? is it all me? can i ever really know it? and why, why, why define it at all?)

[learningsanctum]

when I finally start learning something I had been postponing and I suddenly rediscover my will to study and apply myself until I’m the best again

[windydrawallday]

swindle :3

I'm gonna break my own rules and because I NEEDED AN EXCUSE TO DRAW YOUR THREE SWINDLE DESIGNS AAA

[tokyoviee]

june 4, 2024.

been journaling since two years and even if my mental health graph is 📈📉📈📉📈 i'm pretty happy on how things have turned out in life. the personality development is topnotch.

also heyyy, we doin' chem today.

ibuproffie inspired post <33

[chialattea]

Nami WIP + some chibi doodles heheeee

[thejournallo]

30 Day Manifestation

I was scrolling through Pinterest as always, and I stumbled upon an interesting journaling challenge to manifest!

totally in love! I'm going to try.

[pendragongames]

Arcade Paradise

I just started this game this morning and I'm already obsessed, and I can't figure out why??? It's about running your dad's laundromat to """learn what real work is""" and you secretly run an arcade out of the back room. Literally the main mechanic of the game is figuring out how to do the least work/do work most efficiently in order to spend more time playing the arcade games. But I love it???

The arcade minigames are so cute and racing to finish a level before the dryer goes off makes it even more fun. Plus, it has the "numbers go brrr" appeal that all business simulator type games have. The character interactions/narrative is also really nice (dad is a heartless capitalist but big sis is amazing). I also enjoy the cleaning simulator aspect of it, and the little gamified overlay for menial tasks is so cute.

Ok now that I've laid it out I get why I like it so much. It's a cohesive fusion of multiple genres I love. g2g I have laundry to do

[child-of-hurin]

.

alex garland's civil war is one of those movies where my experience watching it seems so different from everyone else's (even the writer-director's!), it's one of those alienating experiences... It sucks because I would love to talk more about it, because I think it's a very meaningful and intriguing work, but no review seems particularly insightful.

Another annoying point is that none of the things that, for better or for worse, truly bothered me about that movie seem to have bothered anyone else... For example, it's over a month since I watched it and I'm still in shock with that long, slow shot of a black man catching fire. It's such a strong, disturbing scene, I could not watch it, had to close my eyes and i was and still am so offended, and I never see anyone discussing what it means in the narrative, either as a meaningful artistic choice or as aggressive, cheap, potentially racist provocation (two things that coexist, of course)

[changingplumbob]

Today was a writing catch up day. I was seriously behind in writing to my SBL screenshots as it's the best save to play when I'm too tired to do things like write. Anyway I cropped photos and wrote for another 50 posts to give you an idea of how behind I was. Tumblr wouldn't even let me upload all the photos today because of the photo limit. It was a lot of work and I'm so glad it's done, but definitely a lesson to not fall so far behind again. Also got another Knightstone part done before bed.

Thank you to the ones who sent me lovely flowers in my inbox. I am meaning to pass them on but my brain has been focused on writing so I forget but I will get to it, they've made me smile.

It's been a productive day but alas a day without Dragon Age Inquisition. I'm going to try get a good play in tomorrow, although I may have to adult and vacuum the house first. I'm thinking I'll do the Storm Coast but could always wake up in the mood for something different.

[hopeandduty]

M1S Clear!

[miss-biophys]

We found a new antibiotic target in bacteria!!

It took almost 4 years, but the fruits of my postdoc research are finally here! In our paper (with me as the first author), just published in Nature Communications, we decipher a working mechanism of an antibiotic that targets the membrane of bacteria in an unprecedented way!

enhanced PDF: https://rdcu.be/dgj2d web version: https://lnkd.in/eRpxr4jg

And how does it work?

The antibiotic AMC-109 first self-assembles into stable aggregates with a cationic surface. These aggregates then specifically target bacteria cells and insert into their membrane.

You can see the process how we simulated it in a computer on the figure below. Grey-Blue is the antibiotic, Red-Yellow are lipids that together form a membrane.

@jmelcr did this awesome simulation work! You are an amazing scientist, jmelcr! I love you and it seems our collaboration did not ruin our marriage. Not yet, anyway 😄.

After insertion into the bacterial membrane, the antibiotic dissolves membrane nanodomains affecting membrane function without formation of any pores or holes in the membrane.

Below is the series of high-speed atomic force microscopy images that shows the process of dissolution of membrane nanodomains. Yellow are the membranes extracted from bacteria laying flat on a hard surface (black). The membranes contain nanodomains (bright yellow) that are important in living bacteria for its survival. Addition of antibiotic dissolves them.

More studies will follow that use this new target in bacteria giving us an advantage over untreatable superbugs. I will keep you posted. And... keep your fingers crossed. It's research after all, so we never know if and how well it's going to work.

[philosophybitmaps]

[gogandmagog]

“A love story with a psychological interest … a rather doubtful experiment with a public who expects a certain style from an author."

— Lucy Maud Montgomery, the Selected Journals of, on the subject of 'Kilmeny of the Orchard'

[sugarpuptard]

you are genuinely cringe and annoying. Like it's easy to tell the boyfriend you have is greasy and nasty and treats you like shit, but doesn't respect you. Please don't breed, you're going to break up in 2 years tops

xD huh????? idc if im cringe or annoying btw ik i am and have been for years!!!! how do people assume stuff like this lmfao u dont know anything about me or him, and my fiancé has never treated me like shit and respects me more than others from my past relationships, he's a sweetheart and i was blessed to meet him as a kid and a few years later finally reaching back out & falling in love (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) dont think we will be breaking up ever if we're getting married either

and omg greasy and nastyꉂ(≧▽≦) idk how u come up with this if its not projection, he not greasy or nasty either its too funny how ppl jump to conclusions so easy, my boy is clean (besides like last time he was here n didnt shower for me but that was my personal choice o//w//o) and put together so much better than me, if anything im the one who gets greasy more often lol TL;DR: idc we love each other and im happy cringe and all, projecting ur insecurities onto others doesn't help u or anyone else

[tokyoviee]

june 4, 2024.

been journaling since two years and even if my mental health graph is 📈📉📈📉📈 i'm pretty happy on how things have turned out in life. the personality development is topnotch.

also heyyy, we doin' chem today.

@ibuproffie inspired post <33