#ace week 2020

[simbistardis]

The asexual experience for white people is not the same for racially and ethnically marginalized people. Black aces and other asexuals of color must fight against stereotypes like the Jezebel, the Mammy, the China doll or the Geisha Girl, or the desexualized Asian male trope that have historically stripped our personhood of any nuance. Therefore, the insecurities we harbor that prevent many from even identifying within the community are valid.

Yes, diversifying spaces online and IRL can be hard. As the ace community continues to grow, BIPOC aces speaking on our experiences should be listened to and affirmed by white aces and all allosexual people alike. White aces with platforms in the community and beyond should especially “take the initiative to actively address anti-Blackness, they need to credit the Black aces they learn from, and they need to acknowledge the fact of that their whiteness helps to propel their careers,” Sherronda explains in the same interview. As even within the ace community, Black and POC asexuals often endure the harm of white supremacy and/or racial antagonism with little to no defense or solidarity from white asexuals.

BIPOC aces should know that we have long deserved better than the colonization of our sexuality. Societal myths, racial stereotypes, and tropes shouldn’t dictate our perception of ourselves. Luckily, in our broad understanding of (a)sexuality, we have many of the tools, knowledge, and resources to begin shifting narratives of sexuality that can ultimately benefit all people of color, whether they’re self-identified as asexual or not.

Asexuals of Color Still Seek To Validate Their Sexuality by Ebony Purks for Rebellious Magazine (2021)

[arielluva]

if only things had been different for you

id under cut

[ID] a digital painting of dahlia hawthorne and iris from ace attorney. their backs are facing each other, with dahlia on the far left of the picture, and iris on the far right. their hair is blowing towards each other, and connecting in the middle. dahlia is looking over her shoulder, with a neutral, but cold, expression. a single tear is falling from her eye, and her loose hair is blowing into her face. her right eye is not visible. white glowing butterflies are flying around her, and she has a noose around her neck. iris is facing sister bikini, who is off screen. iris is also crying, but bikini is wiping away her tears. iris's loose hair is blowing behind her, and out of her face. above dahlia and iris are two drawings of dusky bridge. above dahlia, the bridge shows the silhouettes of valerie hawthorne pointing a gun at terry fawles, who was holding a young dahlia hostage. no details can be seen on the figures. above iris, dusky bridge is on fire. underneath dahlia, there are red dahlias that are dripping blood, and under iris there are some irises. in the center of the picture, dahlia and iris as children are standing side by side. their hair is black and medium length. they have bangs and both twins have a braid going down the side of their head, dahlia's on the right side of her head, and iris' on the left. they are both wearing white dresses, white knee-high socks, and black mary jane shoes. both of their dresses are dirty, with dahlia's being slightly dirtier. [end ID]

[herlockslimbo]

after you finish 5-5 bobby fulbright is just eternally a really awkward character to see ingame. like you see him in the dlc case and it’s like heyyy….my good pal fulbright……..how’s it going……hahaha….

except i was spoiled going into dd so this effect has just been permanently applied to me from the outset

[renirae]

guys I think I'm addicted to making WAY too detailed illustrations for all of my fics now

(this one is from chapter one of 'cause I'm still turning out - a fic about Midoriya learning that he's aroace, with Shinsou's help :))

[mangoisms]

be still, my indelible friend, you are unbreaking ━ miyuki kazuya The unspoken rule, for cases like yours, is to encourage your living partner to move on with the one dream that you’re allowed to appear in. And you did that. You did the teary goodbye that you were so ruthlessly exempt from when you died in that car accident. But what do you do when they actually move on and eventually join the afterlife with their partner? or, with the help of Miyuki Kazuya, you learn that just because you're dead, you're not exempt from moving on and learning to be happy again.

━ completed

━ wc: 8k

━ warnings: mentions of death but it's an afterlife au, so

━ you can also read this on ao3

Find someone else. Isn’t that the punchline?

It’s the same joke (and unofficial rule) you find yourself skulking about in this bar — the same bar you’ve been coming to for the last month and a half. It’s empty, thank god, because it’s the middle of the afternoon and you’re not in the mood for some boring conversation with a stranger about why you look so mopey.

You should be happy that your partner found someone else.

Because, to you, it had been a given.

Of course you didn’t want your partner, still living, barely twenty-six, to live the rest of their life mourning you. You wanted them to find someone else.

It’s the morally correct thing to do and hey, that’s why you were here, right?

A life of morally correct decisions landed you in this pleasant afterlife rather than the not-so-pleasant one.

So, you should be happy that, after about two years in the living world (only two months for you, because time passes differently here), your partner has finally moved on and found someone else.

But what now?

What happens when your ex and their new partner finally pass on here?

What are you supposed to do?

The unspoken rule, for cases like yours, is to encourage your living partner to move on, making use of the one dream of theirs that you’re allowed to appear in. And you did that. You did the teary goodbye that you were so ruthlessly exempt from when you died in that car accident.

But what do you do when they actually move on and eventually join the afterlife with their partner?

Seriously, is there a handbook or manual on this? Can you wikipedia it? What to do when I die and leave my partner behind and they actually move on like I told them to?

You’re obviously not going to get back together. So, where does that leave you?

You rub your forehead.

The bartender wordlessly pours you another glass and you nod your thanks, mechanically taking a sip.

You have to suppress a deep sigh when someone slides into the stool beside yours.

The entire bar is open. You are seated at a lone corner, near the hall to the bathrooms, so honestly, this guy could’ve picked any other seat.

Ugh.

You can feel your mood souring further.

The bartender drifts back to you.

“What can I get you?” He asks the stranger.

The stranger gives his order and you look away from his direction pointedly, watching the condensation sliding down the glass, creating a wet ring on the small napkin underneath it.

You feel strangely uncomfortable.

The message is clear. This guy is interested in you — hello, the rows of available stools on the bar and he sat next to you — but wow, the thought of flirting with someone else makes your skin crawl.

Because to you, it’d only been two months ago that you were alive, living with your partner, savoring the domesticity of your life. And while they may have moved on already because of this plane of dimension’s horrible passage of time, you haven’t.

Not yet.

No use in beating around the bush, you think, sighing and finally lifting your eyes.

“So, I was —”

“Do you mind —“

You both halt. He laughs nervously as red forms on his cheeks.

“Go ahead,” he says.

You smile politely. “Right. No offense, seriously, but do . . . you mind moving somewhere else? I kind of want to be alone right now.”

The guy blanks, obviously not expecting that. “Oh. Um. Uh. S-Sure. Er, could I give you my number —”

You smile stiffly. “I’d rather not, honestly.”

He deflates. “But —”

“Hey.”

The bartender sets down the stranger’s order in front of him, the thump of the glass on the counter strangely loud in this empty bar, even with the low jazz playing overhead.

He’s frowning. “They obviously don’t want to be bothered. Move along. We’re not looking for trouble.”

“Neither am I,” the guy mutters mulishly.

“It seems like you are. They’re visibly uncomfortable, clearly not in the mood to flirt, and they’ve asked you to move and you’re still trying to get their number. Back off, man. Seriously.”

You stare at the bartender. He’s a tall, handsome man with messy brown hair, tawny brown skin, and golden eyes, hidden behind a pair of nondescript black frames.

He’d also been working the bar for the past month and a half, at the times you came by and sulked for a few hours. You didn’t know his name, just that he was, objectively speaking, handsome and rather popular with the patrons for his biting humor and excellent mixing skills.

He had never asked about your name or your problem or anything like that.

But you think, in those times when the bar emptied out except for you two and the bouncers by the entrance, when he’d lean against the counter and crack open a book on baseball strategy, that his silence was more fortitudinous than awkward.

That could always be wishful thinking of your part, though.

And now — now he has no obligation to help you. So, you assume he’s doing this to avoid trouble rather than genuine kindness.

The guy mutters a couple things scornfully under his breath and clambers off the seat, knocking over the glass and throwing down the money before stalking off.

That was kind of dramatic, you think with a grimace, watching as the bartender calmly picks up the money and stows it away in a cash register.

He comes back to the counter and picks up the glass, setting it in a sink, then starts wiping up the mess.

You bite your lip. I have to say something, you think. It’d be rude not to.

“Thanks for that,” you end up saying. It sounds half-hearted but you mean it.

The bartender shrugs. “No problem. Gotta keep this bar drama-free.”

You still feel bad. “I . . . Still. I don’t want to inadvertently be the cause of you losing some customers.”

It’s not like bankruptcy is a thing here. All service workers like the bartender are given extra bonuses for doing their jobs — on top of the monthly checks that each person gets. These institutions don’t belong to one particular person or company. No, they belong to the higher ups, the primordial beings in charge of the afterlife, and they have bigger worries than making money.

He laughs. “This is the only bar in the quad. He’ll be back.”

That’s true, but . . .

“I don’t want to cause you trouble,” you mumble under your breath.

He tosses aside the wet towel and picks up another, drying off the counter before throwing it over his shoulder and grinning at you.

“Relax. It’s fine. Honestly, I didn’t mind. And if he wants to cause trouble with some of his friends later, he can take it up with those guys.” He nods behind you and you look over your shoulder, seeing the two, hulking bouncers stationed by the entrance, talking amongst themselves.

“Besides,” the bartender continues. “It seems like you don’t need a distraction right now.” He takes out another glass and fills it with water. “Wallowing in self-pity usually demands some privacy.”

“Thanks,” you say sarcastically. “I really appreciate it.”

He winks. “You’re welcome.”

You scoff quietly, pushing away the alcoholic drink in favor of the cool water. Your chest feels warm and fuzzy, only mildly buzzed, but it’ll be a long walk back to your house and you don’t want to be inebriated and vulnerable.

Something like curiosity burrows underneath your skin as you watch the bartender from the corner of your eye. He talks to the other patrons at the bar as he serves them.

You slum it there for another few hours, sobering up, but soon, it starts to get busy and that’s when you take your leave, sliding off the stool and picking up your coat. You pretend not to notice the way the bartender disappears into the back and two women come to replace him.

You step outside. The air is nippy, but it’s not uncomfortable. It’s never uncomfortable.

Nighttime has fallen and the sky is starless and dark.

There’s a lot of similarities between here and the living world, but there’s more differences.

Because there are no countries or real affiliations, quads stand as centers of living, dependent on the person. Some quads are like cities, with hundreds of thousands of other people, and even more bars, restaurants, stores, and businesses. Others are like towns, homey and local. This quad is like that.

You like the quiet of it; it’s small enough that you can travel everywhere by foot. It’s also designed so that you never have to leave. No reason to go into other quads.

You can, of course, if you want. There are no rules or restrictions here on what you can and can’t do. The only rule is to be civil and keep peace.

You start your trek to your home — your own slice of heaven, a place that is perfect for you (for some, it’s a ranch, for others, it’s an ultra-modern apartment).

Your eyes stay on the sky more than anything, scanning the empty oblivion.

“You’ll trip if you keep walking like that,” a voice calls from behind you.

You stop and turn. The bartender is a few paces behind you, changed from the formal shoes, slacks, and button-up into a pair of ratty Converse, jeans, a t-shirt, and a light jacket.

It fits him.

You frown. “Are you following me?”

“All the housing for this quad is in this direction,” he says and you flush, because that’s true, you’d forgotten yourself.

“Right, well,” you clear your throat noisily. “Why does it matter to you?”

“Because I’m a good person,” he replies easily, closing the distance and coming to stand beside you. “But seriously, what is it you see that’s so interesting?”

You raise an eyebrow. “What, you don’t see it?”

“Like practically everything else here, it’s tailored to you specifically,” he says, lips quirked, and you flush again.

What’s with me today? You think. I’ve been here for two months, I know all this stuff by now.

“Well, what do you see?” You turn the question back on him.

He lifts his eyes to the sky. It’s dark and starless to you but whatever he sees makes his face soften. Your breath catches in your throat.

It’s a strange, but familiar, feeling that has guilt immediately curling in your stomach. You try to shut it down.

“I see the Milky Way,” he says. “Millions of stars.”

You wonder what that must be like. “Sounds nice.”

He shrugs. “Yeah, well. Never saw it much when I was alive since I lived in a big city. Only saw it once on a trip out to the country.”

“Oh,” you say intelligently.

“And you?” He asks.

You chew the inside of your cheek.

“I see . . . nothing. It’s. . . a starless sky to me.” You lift your eyes again. “It’s not really home . . .” you shrug awkwardly. “I dunno. That’s just what I see.”

“Different for everyone. No harm in that,” he says, strangely wise.

You're blurting out your name before you can think of what you’re doing.

He snickers. “Miyuki.” He gives you an appraising look. “Seems like you’re in a better mood.”

You shrug a shoulder. “I guess. I’m just . . . It’s nothing much.”

“You should talk to someone,” he says and it sounds like he means it.

“What, like you?” You try not to sound so incredulous but he catches it and laughs anyway.

“I can’t promise I’d care, to be honest. But if you’re facing some kind of dilemma that has to do with living loved ones, you’re probably not alone.”

You bite your lip. You’re getting kind of cold now, just standing there in the middle of the street, gentle winds tickling your cheeks.

He’s strangely honest.

Probably too honest than socially acceptable.

His name is Japanese and you’d wager that he’s speaking Japanese, too, but to you, his mouth is shaping the words in your native language and it sounds the same in your ears (another thing about the afterlife; no language barriers).

Doesn’t Japan have really stringent social hierarchies?

But if he’s so honest . . . Could he help?

You just don’t know what to do.

You feel bad that your partner moved on. You shouldn’t.

Right?

“If you keep thinking so hard, you’re going to hurt yourself.”

You focus on Miyuki. “Could I ask you for advice?”

He blinks. “Eh?”

“I know you said you wouldn’t necessarily care,” you sigh, taking a few steps to the side and sitting down on the curb. You stare at the street. The concrete is cool underneath you, seeping through the thin material of your jeans. “But I think you’d be honest. And I need that more than I need comfort.”

“Weren’t you the one also a little bit dubious about that?” He asks, but sits down beside you on the curb anyway.

“Yeah,” you sigh. “And I know we know nothing about each other but maybe that’s for the best.”

“Alright,” he says slowly. “Go ahead, I guess.”

He sounds awkward, suddenly, and you’re a little amused. He can certainly run his mouth but he gets choked up here. Of course.

You tell him, then, about how you did your duty, took the opportunity to visit your partner’s dream and made them promise to find someone else, something that makes them happy, and they finally did that, and you feel — mean and resentful and sad and you know you shouldn’t, you should be happy, because they did what you wanted, hadn’t they?

And maybe, you add to yourself, you shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be enjoying the pleasures of the afterlife, because you’re being selfish and it’s not right. Is it?

You halt in your words and close your eyes, pressing your forehead to your knees.

“I feel like such a bad person for feeling like that,” you whisper. “Is it bad that I secretly wanted for them to just . . . not settle down? So we could be together when they finally died and came here?”

Miyuki remains silent for a couple minutes and you finally turn to look at him.

He’s gazing at the sky, thoughtful. You hold your tongue.

Two women pass you, talking and laughing amongst themselves as they head home for the night.

“That’s the thing they don’t tell you about,” he eventually says quietly and you look at him instinctively. “The ‘right thing’ to do is tell the loved ones you leave behind to move on and find happiness again. Like it’s an obligation for us to be selfless. Maybe it is. My moral compass has never exactly worked well. But they never tell you how to get over them when they do move on.

“Or what to do when your partner finally crosses over and they’re still in love with someone else.” He finally looks at you, solemn. “Just because we’re dead doesn’t mean we don’t feel. We feel what we feel. We’re still human.”

He talks about this like he’s experienced it. You wonder if he has, but you bury that curiosity. There’s no need for it.

You sigh. “Yeah, that’s really poetic and all, but you didn’t exactly answer my question. Am I a bad person for wishing those things?”

He rolls his eyes. “Sheesh. What’s gonna satisfy you? No, you’re not. Shit happens. And like I just said —“he sends you a look and you have to suppress a smile “— we feel what we feel. Nothing wrong with that. My best piece of advice?” He stands and you have to almost crane your neck to look up at him. “Start preparing yourself for the worst possible outcome. They settle down. Get married. And pass into the afterlife still in love with that person, not you.”

It hurts to hear. But a part of you knows he’s right.

You set your chin on your knees and close your eyes, throat feeling thick suddenly.

You’ve had flashes of your partner and their new life in your dreams. They’re happy.

And . . . and you hope it continues.

Your feelings will shrink with time. You know that.

You just have to grin and bear it now.

You hear the shifting of gravel and rocks underfoot and tense as a hand tentatively touches your head. It’s warm and gentle and —

Comforting.

Your heart does a strange jump.

You open your eyes and look up at Miyuki.

“There’s nothing wrong with you moving on, too,” he says quietly and the air in your lungs rattles, squeezing your throat.

He takes his hand away and turns. “See you around.”

You watch him leave.

You stop going to the bar, because you have no business there anymore.

You’re going to learn to live with this fate.

The unfortunate side effect of that, though, is that you no longer see Miyuki.

And strangely enough, you find yourself missing his presence.

You try not to think about it too hard.

Moving on is . . . both hard and easy.

Some days, you think that this will be the day you leap that final hurdle, get over your ex and move on with your life here, but others, you don’t think the effort is worth anything.

It doesn’t help that your dreams are dominated by your ex and their new life.

Some nights, you just stay up and go to your backyard and lay down on the grass, staring up at the empty night sky.

Those times, you seriously consider reincarnation.

Your memories are wiped and you’re sent back to the living world to be reborn as someone else for another try at life.

But it’s a risky gamble, because you could end up at any point in history, as any person.

So, it’s nothing more than wishful thinking.

For now.

You do spend your time at the library in the central square, browsing the massive selection. You try to avoid glancing at the bar a few doors down as you make your walk there.

The library helps take your mind off things. For a little while.

In the living world, there are limitations to knowledge. Things that they don’t know for certain. Here, you’re given the privilege of knowing. You can unlock the secrets of the universe with little difficulty, only a short browse through the nonfiction section on cosmology and astronomy.

You almost feel pity for those in the living world, running around in circles trying to figure out this and that, when the answers to all life’s questions lay in your hands here.

You spend enough time at the library for the librarian to give you a part-time job. It’s hardly arduous. You just put returned books back into their original places.

You’re in the middle of returning some books in the how-to section when you run into Miyuki.

Literally.

He manages to step away before you can ram the cart into his ankles and you grimace.

“Sorry.”

“Wow,” he says. “Our first time seeing each other in almost two weeks and you almost run me over.”

You don’t take the bait, instead latching onto another piece of information he’d, probably, accidentally revealed.

“You’ve been counting?”

He plays dumb. “No. Of course not. What makes you say that?”

You find yourself smiling. “Was there something you were looking for, Miyuki?”

He clears his throat and straightens. “Cookbooks. Trying to spice it up at home. I think I’m using too many brain cells coming up with drinks for the bar.”

“I don’t think that’s a thing.”

But you park the cart to the side and help him out, locating the cookbooks. It’s a wide assortment, different books on different cultures, and he spends an impressive amount of time flipping through them, lips pursed, eyes narrowed as he takes in the information.

You putter around for a minute before going back to the cart, setting your hands on the bar and preparing to push it.

Miyuki quickly and quietly calls out your name.

You turn.

He has a book in his hands and he runs his fingers absently over the front.

You frown. Is he nervous?

“Yeah?”

He rubs the back of his neck. “I was wondering . . . I have an extra ticket to a timeshow on the history of the universe this Saturday. My friend was supposed to go with me but he couldn’t go. Had to do something for his husband. Would you, ah, want to go? To the show? It’d just be a waste of money if I didn’t have someone else use it.”

He’s making excuses. Saving face.

But rather than finding it silly and annoying, you’re. . . endeared.

You smile. “Sure. That sounds like fun. What time?”

“Six. We can meet in front of the theater at five-forty-five?”

“Yeah, that sounds good. See you, then.” You flash him one last smile and turn around, pushing the cart to the next section.

Your heart is drumming away in your chest.

You’re. . . excited.

Settling into the afterlife had been hard. Because you’d been ripped away from the only life you’d known in the living world.

You had no one here, your parents still kicking, and there weren’t any grandparents or previously dead relatives waiting for you on the other side.

No, just a courier patiently telling you that you were dead and you were now in the afterlife.

It’s not like making friends is easy, either.

Most people keep to themselves. Routine is comfort here.

So, you tell yourself that the fluttering in your stomach and the rapid pace of your pulse is because, for better or for worse, Miyuki is your friend.

(And you ignore the disappointment that wells up within you at that title.)

The theater functions like it does in the living world, except they also have time shows.

Shows that document the passage of time. Topics vary, from the history of the universe, like the Big Bang and the formation of the Milky Way and the solar system, to life on earth, from prehistoric time, to the present.

Today’s show is the history of the universe, starting, naturally, with the Big Bang.

You’re a little tired, after another sleepless night, but seeing Miyuki standing at the entrance makes your heart race. You push down the feeling.

You and Miyuki take your seats, in the middle of the rows of the theater. It’s not very busy, but there’s still people there. You steal some of the popcorn from the bucket sitting on his lap.

“So, who’s your friend?” You ask, taking a drink of your water bottle.

He raises an eyebrow. “Hallucinating? Not a good look on you.”

You roll your eyes. “I mean the friend who canceled on you last minute. I was under the pretense you didn’t have any friends.”

He snickers. “I’m not a lonely, poor soul like you, you know. Anyway. My friend, Yoichi. We live on the same street.”

“That’s nice,” you say, earnest.

“He’s. . . alright.” Miyuki’s words are halting and jagged and it makes you curious as to why that is.

But the lights are dimming rapidly, signaling the start of the show, and you wipe your fingers on a napkin, turning your attention to the screen. You tense as the theater is plunged into darkness and feel Miyuki shift, settling his arm on the armrest separating your seats.

You have half a mind to elbow him out of your space before there’s a booming explosion, deafening and sudden enough to make you jump. Your fingers clamp onto Miyuki’s wrist instinctively, feeling the soft, warm skin underneath your fingertips.

The screen bursts to life, a brilliant, bright ball of light.

You jump again as rough fingers touch the back of your hand. And you realize you still haven’t let him go.

An apology is already on your lips when he applies a firmer pressure and murmurs, “It’s fine. These guys just like their theatrics.”

You falter, looking at him and seeing the bright colors of the screen reflecting off his glasses, but his eyes are on you, comforting gold.

A peculiar kind of heat spreads underneath the surface of your skin and you nod, embarrassed.

“Sorry.”

He taps a finger on the knuckle of your index finger. “Nothing to apologize for, dummy.”

You suppress the urge to apologize again and reluctantly remove your fingers from his wrist.

You fold your hands in your lap and ignore the way the skin on the back of your skin tingles pleasantly.

He’s right about the show. They do like their theatrics.

It’s all dramatic explosions and flashes of lights, running through the last 14 billion years of the universe’s existence in an easy hour, keeping it interesting enough for those who don’t know a thing about these concepts.

Miyuki passes the bucket of popcorn to you midway through and by the end of the show, your face is hot from the amount of times your hand has brushed his while reaching for popcorn.

It’s a little silly.

You’re not some kind of middle schooler interacting with their crush.

There’s no logical reason to be acting like that.

Yet you find yourself relieved as he tosses the bucket in the trash outside the theater, the air cooler here. You two converse as you leave the theater. Nighttime has settled in once again and the yellow light of the streetlamps illuminate the square.

Before you can get too distracted, Miyuki tugs on your shirt and you glance at him.

He tilts his head to the ice cream parlor next door. “Dessert? You’ll have to pay, though. I think that’s only fair.”

You marvel at his ability to make generous suggestions and still sound remarkably rude. It would irritate you, usually, but he manages to make it just sound like that’s how he is.

No malicious intent. Just a fact of nature.

“Sure,” you agree. “Sounds fine to me.”

The parlor is cold upon entering, a quiet humming in the background, bright lights illuminating the inside. The employee smiles politely.

You peer at the flavors, giving your order to the employee who starts working on it immediately. Miyuki follows suit after you’ve been handed a small cup with the ice cream.

“I almost would’ve thought you don’t like sweet things,” you comment offhandedly as you hand over the proper amount of money to the employee when Miyuki’s also been given his own cup.

“Green tea isn’t that sweet,” he says. “But sweet stuff has grown on me in the past years.”

“Really?” You both step back out of the ice cream parlor and cross the street to the park in the center of the square. He takes a seat on a bench and you sit beside him, careful to leave a reasonable amount of space between you two.

He nods. “Sure. Couldn’t stand it initially but,” he shrugs. “I don’t mind as much now.”

You want to ask for more information — that curiosity that had burrowed its way underneath your skin has spread, tugging at your chest impatiently — but you get the feeling that he’s a private person, so, you keep your mouth shut and eat your ice cream.

“How’s moving on working out for you?” He asks after a couple minutes of comfortable silence.

You remove your eyes from the sky and take the spoon out of your mouth.

You wouldn’t have taken him for a smalltalk kind of person and your intuition tells you that’s not it. It’s hard to get a proper look at him because he’s chosen a shaded area away from the lamps but his head’s tilted and somehow, someway, you can tell that he’s genuinely curious.

You feel pleased with your conclusion.

He’s a hard person to get a read on, almost impossible, really, but he’s either loosening his guard willingly or forgetting himself for the moment.

You get the feeling he’s doing it willfully.

It makes your heart race, for a reason unbeknownst to you.

“It’s a . . . process,” you say quietly. “Some days are easier than others. I think it’s hard, sometimes, because I’m so alone, you know? And the dreams don’t help at all. Some nights, I don’t sleep at all because of it.”

You glumly scoop some ice cream into your mouth. It’s melting from the heat from your palm, condensation forming on the sides of the cup, sliding down onto your hand.

“But it’s fine,” you continue when he remains silent. “I’m getting there. It’s almost been three months. My . . . ex is happy. Knowing that both hurts and helps. Does that make sense?”

He finally nods. “It does.”

You slip into another comfortable silence, finishing off the ice cream. You both toss your cups away then step back onto the street, heading to housing once again.

“This was fun,” you say softly. “Thanks for inviting me, Miyuki.”

He shrugs. “Told you. Would’ve been a waste not to use the other ticket.”

Certainly.

But he didn’t have to suggest ice cream, prolonging your time together.

He didn’t have to do that.

And that, you think, speaks volumes.

You stick your hands in the pockets of your jacket. “I have a question.”

“Alright,” he says, sounding both wary and curious.

“It’s kind of stupid,” you admit.

“I’ll be the judge of that. What is it?”

You bite at the inside of your cheek and move your eyes ahead of you, buildings fading into rolling hills of green. You’ll be entering the housing of this quad soon enough and you almost don’t want to say goodbye.

You’ve missed this. Companionship. Someone to talk to.

But there’s something on your mind, too.

“Why . . . I don’t know. It seems like you could be friends with anyone. And you didn’t have to help me out all those weeks ago, with my problem. So . . . why?”

You stare at the ground, almost afraid of his answer.

He hums quietly, though, and that’s better than a tense silence as he mulls over his answer. He’s not thrown off.

You risk a glance at him and he’s staring at the sky.

And not for the first time, certainly not the last, either, you wish you could see what he sees.

“Well,” he says eventually. “You came in for a solid, what, almost two months? Every other day, in the middle of the afternoon. Which would be incredibly worrying in any other situation, but you only actually ever drank on occasion. When things got bad, I assume —” he sends you a long look there and you look away “— but beside from that, it was a little impossible not to notice. You notice the regulars at the library, right?”

You nod and for some reason, you find his answer a little disappointing.

He shrugs. “See? Impossible to not notice. Honestly, you kind of reminded me of an old person.”

“What?”

He laughs loudly at your affronted tone. “Old people usually come to bars in the middle of the day, don’t they? Because it’s chill. More lowkey. The party scene isn’t their thing. That’s you.” He pokes your cheek and you swat his hand away.

“Stop that. That’s so embarrassing.”

He laughs again. “There’s nothing wrong with it. Old people are sensible, aren’t they? Most of ’em. Don’t get all worked up. I was just giving you my honest answer, anyway.”

You sigh. “Right. But at any point, you never pitied me? That sounds hard to believe.”

He waves you off lazily. “I didn’t care that much.”

“Gee, thanks.”

He grins at you and you feel something warm and fuzzy cocoon behind your breastbone, radiating a familiar heat that has you suppressing a smile of your own, refusing to give him that satisfaction.

“Come on, I kind of care now! That has to be worth something.”

“Kind of,” you repeat dryly.

“You’re a difficult person to please,” he says, sighing melodramatically.

“I don’t want to hear that from you,” you reply, laughing quietly, looking away. You’re well into the housing units now, passing street after street.

“Oh, wait.” You hear the gravel crunch underneath his shoes as he comes to a stop. You look at him and he’s gazing at the street signs with a pensive expression. “Oops. Passed my street.”

Disappointment curls in your stomach but you try to smother it.

“Well, I’ll see you around —”

“I’ll walk you home,” he says and you blink.

“You don’t have to.”

He rolls his eyes. “I know. But we’ve already passed my street. Might as well.”

Again. Excuses.

You smile softly. “I’d appreciate that.”

He looks away. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Come on, let’s go. I’m getting cold.”

He walks you all the way home.

Don’t be a stranger, he tells you when you arrive at your house, and he gives you his number. You try not to act so surprised and he adds, If you’re ever up and you can’t sleep, call me. I’m usually up, too.

And you know it’s not wishful thinking to spot the red on his cheeks.

Time passes. Months melt together until the quad is easing into something like summer, the days warm and mild and the nights cool and temperate.

You do as Miyuki says.

You drop into the bar on occasion and he’ll give you a drink on the house — “Because I’m a nice person” — and he’ll regale you with tales that he gets from his coworkers about the nighttime crowd and the shenanigans they get up to. You tell him about the odd people that come in and out of the library.

He’ll visit the library, too, to return the books he’s checked out. Usually, he’ll hunt you down and demand your help in finding him adequate books on cooking, and baseball strategy.

You find out two things from it.

He likes to cook and he’s incredibly proud of his abilities — it’s not a pompous kind of pride, an over-the-top one that’s usually befitting for him, but a genuine pride, carved into the way he smiles and tells you about how he took charge of the kitchen at only eleven-years-old in the living world and singlehandedly took care of his father with it.

And he was a professional baseball player in the living world, in Japan. You ask him why he never tried to move into a bigger quad and join a baseball team — because they certainly have them.

He simply says he’s run out of energy to play, but he could never tire of the logistics of the game.

On those visits, he’ll shadow you, once he’s found his books, as you put books away, and asks you questions about your old life.

It’s a comforting routine that you two have settled into.

And you think about your ex less and less.

You still see them in your dreams, aging as the years — months, for you — go by. And they get married, they settle down, they find peace.

You think you’re close to doing that, too.

Miyuki calls you one night.

You never ended up taking his offer to call him when you couldn’t sleep, mostly because, with the more time you spent with him, the easier it was to sleep and live with the dreams of your ex and their new life.

That doesn’t mean that he couldn’t use the opportunity with you, though.

You’re up, anyway, your mind not quite ready to go to bed yet, outside in your backyard, gazing at the black sky, listening to the cicadas buzzing in the night.

You answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” he says and he sounds unsure. “Is this a bad time?”

“Not at all,” you reply. “What’s up?”

“You know how I gave you that advice a couple months ago? About your ex?”

You sit up and stare at the brown fence that lines the end of your property. “Yeah,” you say, unsure of where he’s going with this.

“Maybe you’d already guessed it but . . . I was in a similar situation. I died in some stupid plane crash and I left him there. His — it’s. . . that Yoichi I was telling you about.”

“Okay,” you say slowly. “Go on.”

“So, I did the thing. You know. Told him to move on and shit. He did, eventually. Found another guy. Someone we used to go to high school with. Sucked, but it was fine. Then,” he sighs. “Then, they died. Stupid bus accident. They were on the same pro team. And they came here.”

Oh, no.

“Miyuki,” you say softly. “How long ago —?”

“I died nine months ago. Took Yoichi two years to move on — but that was only two months here. Then they died a year after that. A month here.”

You draw your knees to your chest, feeling the cool grass underneath your bare feet.

“I’m sorry.”

You don’t know why he called you, not really, maybe he had a bad dream, maybe he’s too stuck in his head and he needs to talk, but you do know you feel bad.

Because Miyuki had been in the same situation as you a couple months ago.

But what was worse was that he had to see his ex and their new partner soon.

You — you would hopefully not see your ex and their partner for many years.

But Miyuki . . .

“What are you apologizing for, dummy?” He asks wearily. “Nothing to say sorry for. Not your fault, is it?”

“It . . . just sucks.”

He snorts. “No kidding. Look, that wasn’t. . .” he trails off awkwardly, then clears his throat. “Sorry. Didn’t mean for this to get all heavy and stuff. I’m pretty much over it — over him. He and I are friends or whatever. Anyways. I was just trying to give you some background.”

You’re a little more confused now.

“Alright . . . For what, exactly?”

“My parents — my mom, really — have been hounding me to start seeing other people. And I’m having them over for dinner next week Friday. I’m not — asking you to pretend to be anything. But if they see you — if she sees you, it’ll be enough to get her off my back for a little while. I know it’s a lot but I can make it up to you. Free drinks for life at the bar?”

You wrinkle your nose. “No, thanks. But I’ll help you out. I’m kinda interested to see what your parents will be like, anyway.”

“Why?”

You sprawl over the grass once again, staring up at the sky.

“I dunno. You’re a mysterious guy, Miyuki. Getting a look at your parents might lessen some of that mystery.”

Your mistake, you belatedly realize, is that you’re getting tired now. And by natural consequence, your filter is loose.

It makes you unbearably honest.

Heat rises to your face. He’s quiet for a minute, then he laughs, and it sounds painfully fond.

Those warm undertones make your chest tight.

“Is that so? I don’t mean to be. Not to you, anyhow.”

Not to you, you mouth to yourself.

You think that means something.

But your brain is too tired to decipher its meaning.

You yawn.

“I should let you go. Have you been getting sleep? You know, I told you that you could call me if you’re staying up.”

You push yourself off the ground, patting the grass clippings off your clothes as you amble to the glass doors, stepping into the warmth of your home.

“That wasn’t it. I just wasn’t ready for bed yet,” you tell him as you go to your bedroom, collapsing unceremoniously onto the bed. “What about you?”

He makes a noncommittal noise. “Eh, you know. Just thinking. Anyways. I’ll let you go. Get some rest.”

“Mmm, you, too, Miyuki.”

He doesn’t hang up and a sleepy frown forms on your lips.

“I think . . . if you’ll be coming by on Friday, you’ll have to call me Kazuya.”

Oh.

You’re suddenly awake, eyes wide, staring at the ceiling. “Oh. Uh. Are you sure?”

“You know me. Wouldn’t tell you if I didn’t want you to.”

Is this something you’re doing to keep a part or because you want me to? What’s the truth here, Miyuki?

You bite your tongue. “If you’re sure.”

“Say it,” he says in a sing-song voice. Once again taking too much pleasure in throwing your world off its axis.

Conniving jerk, you think, not without affection.

You sigh deeply, face warm. “Goodnight, Kazuya. Get some sleep.”

“You, too,” he responds cheerfully, maybe too loud since it’s three in the morning, and the call ends with a click.

You stare at the ceiling.

He’s so confusing.

You meet Kazuya’s ex the same day you’re supposed to have dinner with his parents.

His ex and another man are standing outside of Kazuya’s house, conversing with him.

You falter on the sidewalk, unsure if you should interrupt them, but his ex spots you and switches the attention to you.

Kazuya waves you over. “Come on. I want you to meet Yoichi and Eijun.”

Looks like he really is over it, you think to yourself, only a little bit envious.

You’re getting there. Really.

That warm, fuzzy feeling that’s been building a nest behind your breastbone has gotten out of hand, seizing your lungs and heart, giving those functions over to Kazuya for him to control.

You don’t know if he feels anything.

You think he does. Maybe. But he’s so difficult to get a read on, despite whatever he likes to say about letting you know what he’s thinking.

Regardless, it’s really not something for you to ruminate on when you’re about to meet his ex and his husband.

You walk up the path to the front door, where they’re all standing, and Kazuya touches your back as he introduces you to the two.

His ex is Kuramochi Yoichi, a scary-looking guy with dark brown hair, tan skin, and brown eyes, and his ex’s husband is Kuramochi Eijun, a friendlier guy with light brown skin, messy black hair, and light brown eyes that almost border on amber.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Eijun beams. “You’ve made Miyuki Kazuya just a little more bearable!”

Yoichi laughs loudly as Kazuya reaches out to cuff the back of his head, making him squawk indignantly.

“What? It’s true!”

“Shut up, dummy. Anyways, we should get inside, so you two can —“he makes a shooing motion and you muffle your laugh.

Yoichi scoffs and punches his shoulder. “Hey, you’re just trying to get out of us embarrassing you, but this won’t be the end of it, you should come over for dinner one of these days. I make a mean steak.”

Kazuya puts his hands on his hips, looking motherly, suddenly, as he squints at Yoichi. “Now, that’s not necessary —“

“I’m sure Miyuki Kazuya embarrasses himself enough on his own!”

“Exactly — wait, no —“

You smile. “Actually, if it’s alright with you —“you look at Kazuya and he falls silent, meeting your eyes “— I think that’d be great.”

“Yeah, fine, alright,” he relents and you know he doesn’t really mind. “Seriously, you two, go, before my parents get here and invite you two over. I only made enough for four people.”

“Excuses!” Eijun blusters but lets Yoichi tug him away, anyway. They bid you goodbye and you watch as they disappear into the house across from Kazuya’s.

“I wasn’t expecting that,” you say, more to yourself than him.

But he scoffs and shakes his head. “Honestly. No idea what I saw in Yoichi, I tell you . . .”

Before you can reply, a car turns down the street, and you know it’s likely his parents because there’s very little people in this quad that own cars. That means they came from another quad, probably one with a city.

The car pulls up to the curb and you hear its engine shut off.

Your heart jumps to your throat and you swallow nervously.

“Ready for this?”

You look at Kazuya, meeting his eyes, gold like the setting sun, and feel his hand slip into yours.

Pretense, you remind yourself, though you dimly recall that he said you wouldn’t have to necessarily put on a show, so he’s taking your hand on his own accord.

You don’t think too hard about it, enjoying the roughness of his calloused palm against yours, and watching as a man and woman step out of the car.

He squeezes your hand questioningly.

“Yeah,” you breathe. “Ready.”

By the end of the night, his parents love you.

They’re easy to get along with; his father is quiet, though Kazuya takes after him most in terms of appearance. Still, his quiet, calm temperament goes well with the brighter personality of his mother, who reminds you distinctly of Eijun, except with the ability to control the volume of her voice and carrying a sharper perception that makes you only a little nervous.

You figure that’s where Kazuya gets his from, too.

You learn that his mother had been in the afterlife the longest, passing from cancer when Kazuya was younger, and then his father had passed a couple years before he did.

You think that despite it all, despite Kazuya dying at such a young age and having to handle Yoichi and Eijun again before he got over them, it’s nice that he had his parents for him.

They leave at nine-thirty after helping clean up and you and Kazuya walk them back to their car, where goodbyes are exchanged.

“You better walk them home,” his mother says to Kazuya, giving him a long look.

He holds up his hands in a placating motion. “Of course, of course. I’m a gentleman, Mom. You know that.”

She rolls her eyes. “Sure, sure.” She gives you a warm smile, then. “It was wonderful meeting you. I hope to see you more often.”

“I hope so, too,” you reply and it’s not a lie.

She ducks into the car and you two take a few steps back, watching as the headlights flash on, illuminating the street.

They wave at you before making a u-turn and disappearing around the corner, likely heading to one of the tunnels that leads off to other quads to go back home.

It’s silent for a minute.

“You don’t have to walk me home,” you say.

“I want to,” he replies and that’s the end of it.

He locks the front door and you two set off.

The night is warmer than usual, but that could just be you, the remnants of wine still in your system. The cicadas are buzzing, too, as loud as ever, and with Kazuya next to you, you feel — light. Warm.

You raise your head to the sky, paying more attention to it than where your feet walk.

“I wish I could see it,” you murmur, pace slowing. Kazuya follows you instinctively.

“See what?” He asks, but you think he knows.

You say it anyway. “See what you see. Not this . . . black nothingness. Stars. Light.”

He’s quiet for a few seconds, thinking, and you see him hesitantly reach out to you in the corner of your eye.

And you know what he’s going to try to do.

And you wonder what it’ll mean.

Afterlife is something that’s dependent on each person. No world is ever the same for one person.

But there’s certain cases, for those with bonds that go deeper than words can describe — a married couple, twins, best friends — where touch lets you see what they see.

The key is to letting down the mental guard in your mind, pushing away your own perception and giving into theirs.

You look at Kazuya.

Your heart is racing in your chest, a cold sweat breaking out on the back of your neck, though your face feels so warm.

“It’s okay,” he says quietly, his hand hovering near yours.

“There’s nothing wrong with you moving on, too.”

It’s okay.

You reach for his hand.

Your white flag is raised. You’ve surrendered.

And the sky bursts into light.

The Milky Way stretches across the sky, bands of light glowing brilliantly in the night, stars twinkling.

Kazuya tugs on your hand and you look at him.

You see the brilliance of billions of stars reflecting in his eyes. His eyes — that are warm gold, full of tenderness and affection and a hundred other unspoken things.

It’s the last thing you see before his lips meet yours.

Five years pass before a courier comes knocking on your door.

You rise from the couch, sharing a confused look with Kazuya, who’s in the kitchen, in the middle of making breakfast.

You open the door, wincing at the bright sunlight that filters in from outside.

It’s a young boy — a courier, clad in the standard white uniform. You don’t let his appearance deceive you, though. Couriers appear at the age that’s most comforting for people — children, epitome of innocence and youth, a universal stage that everyone here has gone through.

He smiles at you, saying your name in a questioning tone.

“That’s me,” you say slowly.

“It looks like your ex-partner has just arrived here,” he tells you and the sound of the knife on the chopping block halts, before you feel Kazuya come stand behind you, slipping an arm around you, comforting, stabilizing.

But the news doesn’t shake you.

Instead, you smile. “How are they?”

“Doing well,” he replies. “Their spouse should be arriving soon, too. Within a couple days, I’d estimate. I’m simply notifying you that they’ll be in the next quad over,” he hands you a card with the information. “Just in case you’d like to visit. Or I can deliver a message for you, if you’d like.”

You don’t think you’ll visit them. It’s been so long, both for you and them, and you figure they have immediate family and friends they’d like to reunite with — those who actually managed to live their lives with them before passing here.

“Tell them I’m here, in this quad, at this home,” you say. “That . . . I’ve settled down. If they’d like to find me, they can. But it’s okay if not. We’ll bump into each other eventually. And I’ll be here for some time. Long enough to get those privileges on the reincarnation list.”

Kazuya squeezes your hip at that.

You’ve been talking about it; you’ve been together for the past five years and there’s more years, you know, left for you both. You haven’t aged, of course, frozen at twenty-five permanently and it’s not like you’ll ever get tired of each other.

No, you could never.

But certain couples who remain together here for a set amount of time become eligible for reincarnating into a world together, destined to find each other.

There are risks, of course.

There is no guarantee that says you’ll meet each other as adults, as teens, or even as kids.

But eternity is a long time.

And you and Kazuya can wait many more years, of course, but should there come a day when you both want a change of pace, a change of scenery, reincarnation — together — is what you’ll do.

The courier tips his hat at you. “Of course. Have a good day.”

“You, too,” you reply and you watch as he turns and, quite literally, disappears.

(Couriers aren’t mortal nor are they human, merely extensions of the higher beings that look over this realm, doing their business for them.)

He kisses your head. “You okay?”

You turn in his arms, enjoying the warmth of the sun on your skin. His arms tighten around your hips, pulling you closer.

His eyes shine like darkened citrine, molten under the beams of light. You can pick out the worry in his brow easily now.

“I’m fine,” you say and he looks a little dubious. “Honestly. It was bound to happen, wasn’t it?”

“Sure,” he agrees warily. “But that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel a little sad.”

You smile. “I’m not sad.”

“You sure? You are here with me. Not like that’s an easy life to live. I understand if you’re getting tired of me,” he says, jokingly, gently pulling you back into the cool shade of your shared home.

He shuts the door and you wind your arms around his neck.

You kiss him. “I could never get tired of you,” you mumble against his mouth.

You feel him smile.

And you know you have found your peace.

It’s this home you share, in the same quad you met all those years ago. It’s the bed you sleep in together, the bathroom you share, the food you make together. It’s the routine, Kazuya working afternoons at the bar, you overseeing the library; having his parents over for dinner every two weeks and going out for breakfast with Yoichi and Eijun on Sundays.

It’s this life you’ve made for yourself here.

It’s him.

[odeandiewut]

old maria icon

[sherlock-is-ace]

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[illdothehotvoice]

Cannot WAIT to go on Twitter and see everyone upset that the ace attorney announcement was fucking among us meanwhile I am SO fucking happy

[britishchick09]

my identity journey told through the lgballt style! ;D

[riacte]

The Hermitcraft identity in relation to 2020 MCC - a plea to the modern Hermitcraft fandom to stop ignoring hermits

(An angry, semi-biased essay of 3.4k words about MCC9, MCC10, and False Supremacy)

Spurred by the recent Dream drama, people are bringing up reasons to dislike him and the DTeam, including MCC10 Red Rabbits (Jimmy, Dream, George, Puffy) (Sep 2020). Such as this tweet (Jan 2025) which has gathered 20k likes at the time of writing. Main talking points include: them ignoring Jimmy and them talking shit about his friends during Dodgebolt. It is easy to feel bad for Jimmy and feel righteous anger over Jimmy’s friends being shat upon. However, bringing up the lack of sportsmanship in relation to only Jimmy is reductive and ignores the overall context of the hermits being underestimated only to prove people wrong. 

The 2020 MCC hermits faced a long history of being overlooked and seen as “cannon fodder” / “free kills”, only for hermit duos to win twice in a row, with a hermit completing an ace and becoming the first back to back winner. Because while they were complaining about the Dodgebolt players missing their shots, False of Hermitcraft fame completed an ace in which she shot all four opponents in one round. Impressively, she did this with four arrows, meaning she did not miss a single shot. Thus, she directly contradicted any criticism about “missing shots”. This, combined with MCC9 which occurred two weeks ago, started the legacy of hermits winning MCCs, and proved that they were not to be underestimated. 

MCC10 Dodgebolt (from Jimmy’s perspective)

Onto the Dodgebolt itself. For context, Red team got third and missed out on Dodgebolt so they were understandably salty. Members of the Dodgebolt finale teams include:

Orange (winning team): Pete, False, Cub, Joel

Green: Scott, Shubble, Quig, Lizzie

These are all either Jimmy’s friends or people Jimmy knew/ in his circle. For instance, Pete and Jimmy were in the same team for MCC7 Orange (Jimmy, Martyn, Pete, HBomb). This was also a Dodgebolt with many hermits (False, Cub) or hermit adjacents (Joel would become a future hermit but he was NOT treated as a hermit in 2020, Scott, Shubble, Lizzie). 

Select quotes before/during Dodgebolt:

“We could’ve easily taken either of these teams too in Dodgebolt as well.” [2:15:19]

“This is too slow! C’mon, shoot shoot!” [2:19:15]

“We don’t really know anybody who’s in here” [2:19:56]

“Orange is choking a little bit” [2:20:44]

“These are slow games! Everyone’s missing so much.” [2:21:50]

“None of them are good shots, they’re all just missing.” [2:21:59]

“Let’s just pretend these are the two viewer teams.” [2:22:21]

Round 4 (Orange 2 - Green 1), aka False’s ace round, is when they start to care about False— “False is literally carrying”. They mention Green shouldn’t aim for Pete and aim for the others, False included. Jimmy points out False has hit every single shot when she takes out three. They acknowledge False’s skills at the least when hard proof is shown to them. 

Orange wins MCC10, Cub and Joel get their first win. HBomb is losing his shit in the admin stream as the guy who made the “False is going to be great at Dodgebolt” Reddit post. False became the first back to back winner following her victory in MCC9 with Blue Bats Rendog, HBomb, and Fruitberries. Another hermit duo has won MCC, showing the strength of hermit teams. But how did the story begin?

The Hermitcraft identity in 2020 MCC - False, Ren, Cub, Grian

Once upon a time, from a hermit perspective, MCC was only about False and Ren. 

After Jevin in MCC1, False and Ren joined together in MCC4 Yellow alongside now hermit adjacents Fwhip and Katherine. Importantly, they formed a hermit duo and hence started the tradition of hermit teams. It was False and Ren who first established the narrative of hermit teams. The hermits would join MCC, but only when with each other or with adjacents. They would be in their comfort zone. While they had fun, they wouldn’t win.

Given the fact that a lot of hermits have now branched out, this sentiment is less important, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. The hermits continuously support their friends regardless of teams and see a win for any hermit as a win for all of them. Still, it is my firm belief that the original narrative is only this strong because of False and Ren together. They got a boost because of Blue Bats 9 clout and do-not-separatism, but I think False and Ren, when teamed together, are just genuinely happy to be there and play games because they simply really enjoy each other’s company. The hermits are all wholesome, but False and Ren in particular helped to push the narrative of hermits being friends who stick by each other, win together, and just have a fun, whimsical time in MCC. This is also why False and Ren were the only hermits capable of forming Blue Bats and its wholesome legacy— same reason why it could only ever be HBomb and Fruitberries. 

While Pearl and Joel are hermits, they were not hermits in 2020 and they were not treated as hermits by themselves, the hermits, or the wider community. However, there was definitely a stereotype that the “builders” were less “cracked at the game”— builders in this case refer to people like Fwhip. However, before MCC9, hermit adjacents (NOT hermits) have made their way to the Dodgebolt stage, with Fwhip winning in MCC7 (HBomb, Pete, Eret). Dodgebolt finale teams who didn’t win DB include: MCC6 Orange with Jimmy and Martyn, and MCC8 with Fwhip and Joel. Meanwhile, from 6 to 8, the hermit teams (aka. False and Ren teams) got ninth three times in a row. MCC6 Yellow: False, Ren, Cub, Ryguyrocky. MCC7 Aqua: False, Ren, Grian, Pearl. MCC8 Yellow: False, Ren, Cub, Pearl. It should be plainly obvious that even among the builders (hermits included), the hermits (specifically False, Ren, Cub, Grian, not Pearl and Joel) were seen as “worse”. I would even argue it’s specifically Ren and False because they were The Hermit Representatives— Grian was in non hermit duo teams, and Cub played every other MCC. 

Also, at the time, the hermits were rather isolated from the rest of the MCYT community. Their closest non-hermit buddy was probably Pearl. They were true hermits. This was before Life Series or whatever. This was 2020. The idea of the hermits hanging out with speedrunners and competitive players was impossible. 

So, what changed? Insert one of the most memorable, significant, and culturally important MCC wins ever: the one, the only, MCC9 Blue Bats. 

MCC9 - Blue Bats and Dreamslayer

To be fair, it’s probably unreasonable for me to act like a team from 2020 is still widely known and remembered. It’s not like all four of them still talk about it. It’s not like one of them used their crown in a fairly popular experimental Minecraft series, creating a chain of events that led to the normalising of shipping in traffic/hermit fan circles. It’s not like one of them actually got onto the Hermitcraft server for a 2023 event and it all started from MCC9. It’s not like MCC9 Blue Bats is remembered in any official, tangible, and physical form in the year 2024– oh wait. 

Instead of a 170k fanfic, here’s a TLDR: HBomb and Fruit were seen as carrying False and Ren. They were the underdogs which Reddit ranked them in 6th. They went on a training arc and were doing pretty good in the MCC until it came to their least wanted game in game 7— Survival Games. Then they went crazy and got 7200 coins multiplied, landing them firmly in first. Even if you argue the coins were unfair (which some people did), Blue Bats got 14 kills out of a possible 36. Fruitberries got 8 kills because he’s insane. Blue had a steady SoT and faced Green in Dodgebolt, which was, coincidentally, 2/4 DTeam (George, Sapnap, Eret, Kratzy). Blue Bats were two down in Dodgebolt and was about to lose, then pulled a reverse sweep in which they won three rounds in a row. So Blue won, lives were changed forever, Rendog never got over being called king, we all know it, etc etc, and immediately faced backlash from angry stans. You can still see salty people under their win announcement tweet. This was September 12th, 2020. Two weeks later, September 26th, 2020, Orange won MCC10, False did a perfect ace (“False Supremacy”), and became the first back to back winner. 

Also, Grian killed Dream in Survival Games.

In addition to killing Dream on Lime (Dream, Fundy, Sylvee, Tubbo), Grian killed Fundy and Tubbo in quick succession, hence swiftly eliminated ¾ of Lime very early on in SG. (Here is a transcript of MCC9 for easy reference.) This is significant because Lime was in first before SG, followed by Green and Blue. In my opinion, Grian paved the way for his fellow hermits to win. This was part of why Lime was stressed and potentially played risky in the following SoT, which led to the infamous “Dream got locked in SoT behind an iron door” incident. Lime and their audience were dissatisfied and salty, hence they rushed to support Green, and it genuinely looked like Green would win, after all 79.4% of the audience thought they would— then boom! Reverse sweep!

Regarding the hermit identity: False and Ren are pretty obviously besties who achieved success together. It was the typical “friendship is power” hero’s journey. False and Ren proudly donned MCC crowns and showed them off in their Hermitcraft videos (False: HC7 E47, Ren: HC7 E23, Ren included highlights in his video). False and Ren literally brought their wins home to Hermitcraft— in Ren’s case, he also brought his win to Third Life, which became his crown for the whole Red Winter saga. Grian was frantically rooting for Blue in Dodgebolt, repeatedly telling Pink they have to support his friends. Pearl in Orange showed the same kind of earnestness. The hermits and their friends were all happy with the first ever hermit win.

But not everyone was happy. People complained about the SG scores, the iron door, and that the hermits were “carried”. Maybe people acknowledged H and Fruit (Fruit gained S tier status after MCC9), but some were invalidating the hermits’ first win. Thankfully, this has a happy story. As early as the 2020-2021 MCC break, MCC9 Blue was seen as one of the fan favourite teams, even topping MCC4 Pink (SBI) in a poll. And we all know which team is the one recorded down for prosperity in Sky Battle TCG. 

Alright, so maybe Blue Bats was a fluke. Maybe False and Ren got carried. Maybe Grian just went insane with bloodlust. Maybe the hermits were just lucky. Surely this won’t be supported with a trend of hermits winning MCC. Oh wait—

MCC10 - Back to Back Winner

Modern MCC fans may argue that MCC10 isn’t a “canon” MCC because it included two viewer teams, but won’t press on it because everyone treats it as canon. Well, everyone certainly treats False being the first b2b winner as canon, same for her False Supremacy ace (fun fact: Scott coined that term in MCC9 DB). 

MCC10 is interesting in the sense it’s like MCC9’s younger, more overlooked sibling. It’s iconic because of the ace, it has excellent team chemistry, but it’s not as theatrical as MCC9. MCC10 is also interesting because it’s like MCC17. 1) Orange team with False, Pete, and one other hermit 2) late game Build Mart 3) insane Dodgebolt performance by a hermit that overshadows everything else in fanon. 

Onto Cub’s first win. Between MCC9 and MCC10, False said she would try to get Cub a crown so they would match [Twitch clip]. Similar to Ren and False, Cub showed off his win in his HC7 E64. All three of their wins were written down on Hermitcraft in Hermiton Herald, Volume 12: “Minecraft Championships: The Hermiton Herald congratulates Cubfan135, FalseSymmetry, and Rendog for winning the MCC Championships this past month.” September was a huge month for the hermits, and it was definitely a celebration they brought back to Hermitcraft. 

MCC11 and onwards - the Grian storyline

Naturally, after ¾ of the active hermits won MCC, the attention fell onto Grian. With great gusto came Grian’s first competitive MCC team— MCC11 Lime Liches (Grian, False, Ren, Fruitberries). This was ¾ Blue9 and Grian’s first team with FruityB, whom he was a big fan of. Lime11 got fourth and had a sucky Parkour Warrior, but this was the beginning of Grian seeking a win. Grian’s next brush with victory came in MCC13, which was another Pete-False team with late game BM, this time also with Kara. They got to Dodgebolt but didn’t win. This was fine. Grian got third in MCC14 (Pete, Martyn, Oli) and third in MCCP21 (Techno, Wilbur, Jimmy). His team was unlucky in MCC15 (Shubble, Pearl, H replaced Pete after game 4), but got first in coins in MCC16 (Scott, Fruit, Joel) while losing Dodgebolt. Finally, finally, he won in MCC17 with a spectacular 1v3. MCC17 was also in September, hence September was seen as a hermit victory month (not a Desert Duo month or whatever). 

This section is to elaborate that the Grian storyline is inherently connected with MCC9. There’s the obvious Dreamslaying, but MCC9 Blue created a formula for hermit teams, winning teams or otherwise. People like H, Fruit, and Pete are recurring teammates, leading to the meme of “hermits adopting S tiers”. Blue9 did it first. False and Ren did it first. 

MCC12 - George becomes the second back to back winner

Oh boy.

MCC12 was on November 14th, 2020. Teams of interest include Lime (Cub, Pearl, Joel, Fruit— Cub’s first non hermit duo team) and the typical hermit team on Aqua (False, Ren, Grian, Fwhip). As stated in the title, George became the second back to back winner by winning MCC11 and 12, with his team defeating Lime12 in Dodgebolt (Pearl had Aussie ping issues). False, as the first b2b winner, nicely acknowledged this by replying to his winning tweet— “welcome to the club 😏”.  

And the people just ignored her! People on mcyttwt were ignoring her achievements! Hermittwt (which by the way started out as a Blue9 fanclub, Know Your Roots) was in the trenches. People made Tumblr posts pointing this out [1] [2]. The clout of DT was suffocating and their fans made them trend no matter who won, hence the hermits were underappreciated or even shat on. False had way less hype than George did when they both did the same thing only she did it first. In fact, people seemed to not know False was the b2b winner first. Does this feel familiar? Yeah, MCC10 Dodgebolt. Yeah, it’s not just about Jimmy being sad. 

I made posts complaining about it (this one on Nov 15th was rather melodramatic). Here is another ask on Nov 15th, in which I quote:

“I said this before but one tweet really hurt me because it was so painfully accurate. It said the hermits are just memes in the eyes of mcyt community/ mcytwtt. And it’s so true. Think about it: False Supremacy, Lord Grian Dreamslayer, Cub Supremacy. Of course fans of them use these terms but... in the end, to a lot of people, they’re just memes. Builders who were lucky. Just there for comic relief. Just there to be laughed at. And although the tweet was “bitter”, it validated my feelings. So... I kinda wanna spread that.” 

Misogyny

2020: False’s achievement gets brushed past because some George and DTeam stans were being annoying. Okay, that sucks, but she proved them all wrong and modern MCC community holds her ace in high regard.

2025: “Home turf” of the Hermitcraft/Traffic/Grian’s friend group fandom. False, and Ren, and Cub, and even Grian himself and the narrative they created gets brushed past because people only mention Jimmy being sad during MCC10 DB. Okay… wait. This is home turf. People are supposed to care. They’re Jimmy’s friends. We’re supposed to bring up every hermit’s achievements because we like Hermitcraft. Wait, I can’t hear that? Is that not a thing now? In which half of the hermits get overshadowed by the other half that plays a non HC series? Or even people who aren’t hermits? 

Misogyny doesn’t have to be intentional statements of “I hate women”. It can be accidental. Unintentional. It can be subconsciously holding men and women to different standards. For more on MCC and misogyny, there’s this Reddit post about post MCC29, which funnily enough is about False fans being unhappy with George and his fans. False gets overlooked in MCC a ton, for example she got spoken over in MCC17 (yes, the MCC17), she was also very quiet and kind of ignored in MCC22 (yes, with HBomb, Grian, and Scar). It’s improved now, with multiple (male) teammates speaking up on how good False’s comms are. 

Double standards can be seen when False won Demise 2 (with Ren getting the final kill, why is Ren always at the scene of the crime, do not separate indeed) and people didn’t like that. While False was busy, she was online and fended off attacks live on stream. It wasn’t her fault that people didn’t want to attack her. It wasn’t her fault that Ren was so loyal to her just because he is. 

False gets called toxic and bossy a lot when she’s just trying to wrangle her teammates aka. doing what male players do. Most audacious of all is when False got called toxic by Ren’s chat while playing Hungry Hermits. On hermit turf! On Ren’s turf! Just say you hate women and go. 

The examples of Demise 2 and HH are directly targeted towards the Hermitcraft fandom. You can’t blame DT’s fanbase anymore now. It’s coming from inside the house. 

Would you still love me if I was no longer a marketable girlboss :(

I’ve been here since mid 2019. I’ve seen the 2019 discourse. And I have seen False’s fanon popularity drop like crazy. It’s baffling. Do people not like her anymore because she’s not the only “girlboss” on the server? (Note: I find depicting anyone on Hermitcraft as solely a “girlboss” flattens them and is not accurate to any of their personalities.) Do people not like her anymore because she’s not in Grian’s close circle of friends? Do people not like her because she’s not in Life? Talking with friends on why this happened creates confusing groups of words like: “misogyny” “Life series” “Grian” “Boatem” “Soup Group” “Life series” “Life series” “Life series” etc. 

Take the beginning of HC10. Ren organised a mining contest with like ¾ of the server. Cool. Fun. Why was most of the talk on the other ¼ then? Why are hermits only relevant when they’re in Life series, or in Ren’s case, when they’re actively playing Life? (Note: I also get frustrated about Ren’s fanon characterisation and how much of it is dominated by exactly two ships and Life series.) And why the fuck are non hermits put on the same level as hermits (eg. Jimmy and Martyn, Lizzie gets a pass as she’s a hermit spouse however she’s not a Hermitgal) while ignoring existing hermits? In this case, False. False genuinely has more appreciation on the MCC sub than the HC sub and it is humiliating. Get your shit together, Hermitcraft fandom. 

Life seriesification is a genuine problem in the HC fandom. It would be fine if people kept them separate. But no, it’s spilled over to HC in which you significantly gain more clout if you’re in Life. I vividly remember when False won Blue River Raceway Grand Prix and I checked the Hermitcraft tag only to see people congratulating Scar winning. Winning what? A Hermitcraft event? Did he also win the Grand Prix? Silly silly me, he won Secret Life. Is the Hermitcraft in the room with us right now?  

Back to MCC10. “None of them are good shots, they’re all just missing.” False gets a perfect ace— four shots with four arrows. MCC29— False gets punched down in TGTTOS by George for eighteen seconds (my fic on that here). She gets a 1v3 and shoots the winning shot. She becomes the first ever four time female winner. If you think you can stop the Symmetry, that’s False. 

I hope the Hermitcraft fandom can do better than DT’s fandom. Because from what I can see, both fandoms kind of brush her aside. 2020, 2025, and I’m still angry and bitter about the same old things. It is fucking exhausting. 

[aroaceleovaldez]

What is the PR disaster in question that made Rick announce TSATS? I wasn’t active in the online fandom at that point

Of course! This was awhile ago so it figures people don't remember it/aren't familiar:

Basically a couple years back (2020) the fandom had some posts circulate discussing the ways different characters in the Riordanverse were written poorly or offensively. There was a masterpost that went around tumblr but the two major points people were particularly focusing on were Piper and Samirah (particularly because Piper had featured prominently again in Trials of Apollo recently and the third MCGA book had further emphasized and discussed Samirah being Muslim, since it was supposed to take place during Ramadan). Basically each had multiple posts breaking down the ways they were depicted incorrectly or offensively. The entire fandom for a little bit was VERY intensely discussing this (and it's around this time the "RR crit" tag got very popularized on tumblr - it did exist before, but suddenly was being used VERY frequently - cause it was that wide-spread - though the discussion took over basically every side of Riordaverse social media on different platforms). People really wanted Rick to respond to these criticisms, so he did!

He made two blog posts, one about Piper and one about Samirah. He has since deleted both so the links are to archived versions. The short version: he essentially tried to justify his poor research and double-down that he hadn't written them offensively, actually, people were just being mean to him. The fandom, of course, reacted poorly to this.

[Further elaborated events under the cut since this got a bit lengthy]

(Fun fact, this all happened within a month or so of the time i posted an open letter on aphobic tropes in the Riordanverse that Rick replied to, and then he immediately followed with announcing that Reyna was intended to be ace-coded [which cause a LOT of fandom debate] before Rick dipped for a couple of weeks, and then came back to post the blog posts in response to Piper and Sam stuff. So I like to jokingly refer to this as "The time I imploded the fandom/drove Rick off of twitter." Twas I that set the house ablaze.)

Rick fully left social media after this and the LT Musical social media manager became Rick's social media manager for the time being.

So this all happened June/July of 2020. Tower of Nero would end up being published in October of 2020 and a few months after that Rick would state that he was done with the series and wouldn't be writing any more series installments involving Percy, and also that he wouldn't be writing a Nico quest following Tower of Nero as it "wasn't his place to" and encouraged the community to write their own versions of Nico's story.

The community continued to circulate the tumblr posts and discuss the topics of Rick's offensive character depictions, and this is also where we see the dramatic shift in how the fandom depicts Piper in fanwork (though in most cases it is admittedly not an improvement 😬) because of all this discussion. This is also around the time when the fandom brought Viria under scrutiny claiming that she was whitewashing Piper as part of the same discussions, through the justification that she was drawing Annabeth as having tan skin (which she does canonically), and if Annabeth has tanner skin then Piper then that's whitewashing Piper? Except they were using completely separate images of not fully rendered Piper art versus Annabeth in dramatic lighting, so it's all very awkward and poor logic, and did actually get kind of racist. A lot of people were calling it "Tannabeth Blackchase" (yeah, i know) or similar and a common sentiment you'd see repeated is "Don't draw Annabeth as having darker skin than Piper, because that's offensive/racist/whitewashing." (Note: it was not phrased "don't draw Piper as having lighter skin than Annabeth" - we also won't get into certain offensive depictions of Native Americans, but I digress). But yeah, the Annabeth stuff in all that did not age well at all.

Anyways, in October of 2021 however Rick would announce that he was co-writing The Sun And The Star - with a lot of heavy emphasis on how Mark Oshiro works as a sensitivity reader, and some false advertising from the official social media that Mark Oshiro was the first time a non-Riordan author would be collaborating on the series (disregarding the ghostwriters completely). One of the big criticisms in the breaking down of issues in Rick's writing was his lack of ever seeking a sensitivity reader, and fans claiming that a sensitivity reader could solve a lot of the problems. This was basically Rick's "look! I totally listened!!!!" (though it did little to actually improve things, based on the book) and in TSATS as well Piper gets a large cameo at the end where the text very directly addresses a lot of points made in criticism of Rick's writing of her.

We also then of course got the CoTG trilogy later, explicitly stated to be for advertising purposes for the show.

So basically, short version: Rick came under scrutiny for a lot of offensive writing within the span of two months, made some bad blog posts doubling down about it, left social media. TOA ends. Rick says he wasn't going to continue the series/write what would become TSATS. Community celebrates the end of of the franchise but also continues to discuss Rick's poor writing and the blog posts at length. Rick suddenly announces TSATS and Mark Oshiro's involvement. Everybody gets distracted from being mad. Show announcement stuff also happens and the discussions peter out.

[simbistardis]

'I am a Black asexual man. Being an asexual Black man, I have personal accounts of being typecast as some sexually perilous human being, solely due to my melanated skin.'

'The social stereotypes surrounding Black men really had a negative impact on my life. It’s even had an impact even after coming out as an ace. So often, asexual media has been dominated by media figures who fit a certain caricature of being white. The majority of asexual documentaries have featured white aces monolithically. I’ve struggled with even accepting that I’m asexual because all the asexual people I saw were white. Black asexuals have been few and far between, let alone Black asexual men. Not having a multicultural asexual representation growing up made it harder for me to truly accept my asexual identity. Not having a multicultural asexual representation made it all the harder to truly counteract the messaging of my youth that said the only way to be a real black guy was to be some “wild beast.”'

Stereotypes & media about Black masculinity made it harder to come out as asexual by Tyger Songbird for LGBTQ Nation (2023)

[rivalsforlife]

Ace Attorney News Roundup

Very behind on several of these, but news doesn't always cross over from twitter to tumblr, so I thought I'd recap some things here:

AAI 15th Anniversary

First: today marks the 15th anniversary of Ace Attorney Investigations! Tatsuro Iwamoto, the art director for AAI, made a celebratory sketch of Kay to commemorate the occasion (link to tweet):

Iwamoto has also been drawing fanart of minor characters throughout the ace attorney trilogy on his twitter page. These include: April May, Dee Vasquez, Yanni Yogi (and Polly), Richard Wellington, Turner Grey, Moe the Clown, Max Galactica, Oldbag (alien mode), Matt Engarde, Doug Swallow, Luke Atmey (and Mask☆DeMasque), Viola Cadaverini, Valerie Hawthorne, Lisa Basil, and Glen Elg. Technically these aren't official art, but it's always good to have more art of obscurer characters!

The Great Ace Attorney Hit A Million Copies

Some big news: The Great Ace Attorney's 2021 port hit a million copies sold, making it the second ace attorney game to hit Capcom's platinum titles list, the first being the Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney Trilogy from 2019! This comes just under 3 years since the release of the duology in July 2021. In comparison, the original AA trilogy hit a million copies in December 2020, shortly under two years since the release of the game in February 2019.

The update to the platinum titles sales shows that Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy has reached 3.3 million copies sold, which means that it has sold over a million copies in less than a year! (My last post that had information on sales, where I said the trilogy had sold 2.3 million, was in September 2023.) It also makes it the 30th highest selling title for Capcom, which I think is pretty impressive considering giants like Resident Evil, Monster Hunter, and Street Fighter are making up the majority of the top 30.

So, the AA trilogy made its first million in approximately 22 months, but now it has sold a million over the last 8 months. I don't know anything about game sales and so this next part is just speculation, but I wouldn't expect it to be very common for games to sell more years out from their release compared to at release? I think that's really saying something about the long-term staying power of this series, and its increasing popularity over the last few years despite not having any new releases (aside from ports - and porting the series to all platforms probably has something to do with the popularity.)

The AA Twitter Is Very Active Right Now

Here are a couple of bullet points with no relation to each other:

-The official ace attorney twitter has been VERY active, particularly the last week. They've been doing the same "weekly book club" for each case that they did for the Great Ace Attorney duology, but that wrapped up last week and now it's just been memes, at least one a day. In most of my time following this account over the last uhh six years, they mostly ramp up marketing around new releases but are kinda silent the rest of the time, with the occasional meme, but definitely not at this frequency.

-Summer Game Fest is next week.

That probably means nothing, as it has every other time I thought we might get some big ace attorney news, but I think it's worth noting.

So, lots of stuff happened this week! Thanks for reading.

[tinyfantasminha]

Hi op! Just wanted to say I love your art and your oc, and of course your brainrots over Jack  🫶 they made me like and appreciate Jack a lot more! If it's okay to ask, how did you ended up liking him? Was he already a fave from the start or did he worm your way into your heart gradually? And (if you're comfortable ofc) what made you decide to yume with him?

Hope you have a good new years!! 💕

AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH CRYING ON MY KNEES.....!!!!! This makes me so jkgjgjfkdjkfkh,,gfhfgjddjfh ...... thank you so much 😭💕

No matter how many people still say to me they've come to appreciate Jack more because of me I can never get used to it but it's still a wonderful feeling!! Like YES that's what I want !! Love Jack Howl!!

Anon, you just opened pandora's box...... I wished I could answer that in a few words, but I can't. Too much thoughts, too much words I need to get out of my chest. FINALLY THIS OPPORTUNITY HAS COME... *rubs hands*

I might as well put up the whole Jack-loving saga from start to present in chronological order. This is gonna be a VERY long post. (a lot of spoilers and thoughts on book 2 and 3)

To tell the truth, no, Jack was not an immediate fave! I remember seeing the official promotional art for the dorms back in 2019 before the game even released. The ones that immediately got my attention first were Leona, Ruggie, Malleus and Silver. HJDDHHGNJDSD I remember being immediately excited seeing savanaclaw cause they tick a lot of boxes I like… ''ohh??! furry kemonomimi dorm with edgy biker aesthetics?!'' <- is obsessed with leather jackets. But I regret to say that Jack didn't catch my attention, aside from the wolf ears. I-It makes me sad to remember that I judged him at first… 😭 Since Leona and Ruggie are smirking in their official sprite, and Jack looks so overly serious and closed off. BUT BOY, IF ONLY YOU HAD TOLD ME BACK THEN THAT I WOULD HAVE A 4+ YEAR OBSESSION WITH THIS WOLF GUY…………

I had missed the game's launch (march 2020) and only got to know they had already released it when I saw an user on facebook sharing screenshots of their game. Before downloading the game, I decided to watch all of the released main story segments on youtube (god bless Shel_BB's channel). I got invested right off the bat, and as I watched my faves basically fluctuated every week or every a few days... I remember my first (?? was it actually first? I don't remember anymore) fave being Ace because of course hE'S THE FIRST CHARA OF THE MAIN CAST TO APPEAR... that is, until Leona's first appearance in book 1 it ruined my life. I was like ''ah, there he is. Hot lion guy. He's my fave. Can't wait for his chapter'' I SEE A HOT KEMONOMIMI I PRESS LIKE but after book 1 ending, I was so moved by Riddle's backstory that he also became one of my faves?! DAMN GIRL DECIDE

OKAY SO HERE COMES THE GOOD PART, which is book 2. Nowadays I think that book 2 is in fact not good from a writing perspective, Leona's plan is dumb, Ruggie and Jack never got the closure they deserved, it felt too rushed etc. But I wasn't really thinking about it in a critical way, I was just excited to see new characters and how the story would go (good for me ig?? at least I had a good experience). Anyway, I remember taking an immediate liking to Leona and Ruggie but I was still super neutral about Jack throughout most of the chapter. I remember admiring his sense of justice and willingness to betray his dorm, so he was already getting on my good side. sfgsdkjgs I think the first... spark... was the moment when Jack came into ramshackle to personally wake up Yuu. ''I wanted to make sure you didn't mess everything up by oversleeping'' OKAY LIKE BUT WE JUST MET...? I wondered why he'd go that far for a nobody he just met? Then it occurred to me, could it be that he... CARES.... 😱

I thought him being a tsundere was cute. I always had... a thing for characters that look stoic and edgy but are actually big softies. I blame Lucario from the movie Lucario and the mystery of mew for starting my obsession with canine stoic ''I need no friends'' energy characters when in fact they DO need friends And I was also both amused and surprised that he could transform into a literal wolf?! JKDSJKFGSJK I STARTED TO THINK AAWW THATS CUTE FOR HIM... I love fuzzy animals so this was a bonus for me. And then after Leona's overblot there WAS... THIS SCENE--

Something about Yuu pointing out that Jack genuinely smiled and him going all tsun about it stirred a warm feeling in me... I just thought it was the cutest moment in the game so far. This was the point where I realized Jack is a genuinely sweet and caring character. After book 2 ending he had already ranked a lot higher in my tier list.

But it was only during book 3 that ACTUALLY started my spiral to madness made me realize he was gonna be more than just a character I liked.

I want to clarify that when I was watching the main story, I was self inserting as Yuu the entire time, meaning I was trying to imagine myself in their situation and how I would react if I were in said situation. There wasn't anything of substance directly affecting Yuu in book 1 and 2, but book 3 was when it got a lot personal for me. Right off the bat in book 3, adeuce and Grim got separated from Yuu and were forced to be Azul's slaves alongside a bunch of other... idk 100+ students? (or was it 200?) this was the first time since the prologue that Yuu was completely alone, and it made me feel a pang of dread. I'm not proud to say I was never the most independent person, (must be from neurodivergency + always being the pampered youngest sibling of other 4 older siblings 💀) and being socially awkward, I'd completely freeze in this situation. It's just a very stressful and scary situation to be in. That's why I was immediately relieved when Jack appeared. He refused to help at first but all it took was ONE phrase (either tease him or make him feel pity for you) to convince him.

''You've gotten pretty used to how things work in this school. Can't be helped. I'll tag along with you for a bit.''

He said he would tag along FOR A BIT... AND HE LOYALLY STAYED BY YUU'S SIDE THE ENTIRE TIME, UNTIL THE END OF THE EPISODE. I was SO deeply moved by that, you have no idea. When I was in middle school I had really bad social anxiety, like Idia-level. I was the type of person who had to cling on every possible chance of being helped and escorted around in social situations, and I couldn't vocally ask for help, so I had to wait until an extrovert took pity on me and helped me. Once in a school trip, we had to take a train at the metro station and everyone else seemed to have a magnetic card but not me... I thought I was gonna be left behind so I started to panic real bad and have an anxiety attack, and when I pleaded to my extroverted 'friend' for help, they turned their back on me. It was an awful feeling that still makes me feel helpless every time I remember it. So that's why at first I thought Jack wasn't actually gonna help Yuu, and when he... changed his mind so quickly and decided to tag along, it was a very special moment to me. I thought, ''you have no reason to be helping me but you're doing it anyway.'' Feels like in twst most of the characters have an ulterior motive when helping others, but not Jack. He claims he's not worried about adeuce and grim, but he's too easy to read. He cares, even though he gets no compensation, or any kind of reward for this. It made me feel safe around him, like I could rely on him for everything. This was the first heart arrow.

Every time spent with Jack in book 3 I fell more and more in love with him (even though I wasn't aware of it yet). He's a lot more nuanced here than he was in book 2; he shows more sides of him like his silly puppy side (when he was excited to see that octavinelle was underwater and gushed about it like an excited puppy and then got self conscious and awkward about it STOP HEWASJSGJKGSOOSOCVNSMDOSO CUTE) his caring, worried, nervous sides… He also totally did NOT NEED to accompany Yuu in Mostro Lounge's VIP room since Azul had business with Yuu only, and yet Jack was ALWAYS on their side, like a loyal guard dog. Feeling safe and reassured around a person is EXTREMELY important to me. No matter what happens, Jack is not the type to turn his back on you. If you're nice and genuine with him, he will help you with anything and never let you down, it's what I thought.

AND THEN UH.... THERE WAS THAT ONE SCENE WHEN ADEUCE + GRIM + YUU + JACK HIDE UNDER AZULS TABLE IN THE VIP ROOM... THIS IS A SCENE I THIN K A LOT BECAUSE UH... SQUISHED-UNDER-A-TIGHT-SPACE-TOGETHER-TO-HIDE MAY BE ONE OF MY FAVORITE TROPES..... AND I CAUGHT MUYSEFL THINKING NOT SO FAMILY-FRIENDLY THOUGHTS LIKE....DOESS THAT MEAN I'M PRESSED AGAINST JACK HERE,,?!??'/? AGAINST HIS BIG, WARM... tibbies... WHERE I CAN FEEL SAFE AND PROTECTED.... ADNW WE HAVE TO STAY QUIET AND VERY STILL SO AZUL DOESN'T CATCH US OOOooooHHHH....... LET ME REMINGD YOU I STILL DIDNT CONSIDER MYSESLF A SIMP FOR JACK BUT MY CHEEKS WERE AFLAME I WAS RED IN THE FACE AND IT GOT ME THINKING '''''''N-NO WAY I DONT LIKE HIM LIKE THAT RIGHT??? (This was the second heart arrow.)

AND THEN AND THEN AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaAA…… WHENB YUU AND GRIM ARE KICKED OUT OF RAMSHACKLE AND HAVE NOWHERE TO SLEEP AND SINCE ITS LIKE NOVEMBER IT MUST BE COLD AS FUCK OUTSIDE….. THIS IS BY FAR THE SCARIEST SITUATION FOR ME, I LIVE IN A WARM PLACE IF I HAD TO SLEEP OUTSIDE AT A TEMP UNDER 10 DEGREES CELCIUS WITH ONLY A SCHOOL UNIFORM I WOULDNT JUJST ''CATCH A COLD'' ACE TRAPPOLA I WOULD GET HYPOTHERMIA AND FUCKING DIE PROBABLY, GETTING KICKED OUT OF YOUR OWN HOME WITH NO PLACE TO SLEEP? I'D JUST GIVE UP CURL MYSELF INTO A BALL AND CRY……. BUT TJEN BUT THEN JACK LIKE AN ANGEL DESCENDED FROM HEAVEN OFFERED YUU AND GRIM TO TAKE THEM TO SAVANACALW?????????????? AND HE CLAIMS ITS CAUSE EVEN THOUGH HE SAID HE'D HAVE THEIR BACK, HE DIDN'T FEEL LIKE HE ACTUALLY HELPED THEM UNTIL NOW…. AND ACE AND DEUCE AND GRIM ALL SMIRKED AND TEASED HIM ABOUT LIKE ACE'S VOICE TONE IS VERY REMINISCING OF THE TONE SOMEBODY USES WHEN THEY TEASE SOMEONE ELSE ABOUT THEIR CRUSH I FELT IT IN MY BONESSS… LIKE HEY JACK WHY ARE YOU BEING SO NICE TO THEM IF IT DOESN'T BENEFIT YOU… COULD IT BE THAT YOU'RE (GASP) CRUSHING ON THEM…?!?!? YOU KNOW THIS IS THE ENERGY I GOT FROM THIS SCENE AND IF ONLY THIS GAME WAS ROMANCE-INCLINED THATS EXACTLY HOW THIS SCENE WOULD GO I FEEL IITTTTTTTTTTTT DSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJGNNJNJCFNJBCVÇ;CV;/VC;ÑCV~]DF.ÇHFDMHFDNJDHFJHBNDFJ

……..That was the third heart arrow.

My mind is hazy after this. I don't know what else to say for the climax + ending of book 3, I really enjoyed Azul and the tweel's characters, but my mind was still on Jack and how I came to love him after this. I remember hoping that… we would get to sleep in Jack's room (this was before I realized that all of first years room were a shared 4-person room, I thought only heartslabyul was like this 💀) but I was not disappointed to find out we'd sleep in Leona's room instead 😋 is bonked

While Jack was super high in my tier list at that point, he had to share first place with some others for a while… I downloaded the game in july 2020, but it was only during august that I started to actively post art here on my blog and engage more with the fandom. And during that time I was passing through a octavinelle + scarabia phase which was especially strong during august and september if you follow me ALL THE WAY back then…… congrats soldier my faves fluctuated between Jack, Jade, Floyd, Jamil and Kalim constantly and there was even a time where I considered the Ja-trio (Jade, Jack, Jamil) my favorite characters and couldn't choose between them. So what made me ultimately lean towards Jack? Uh, to sum it up it's because he was the least popular. I was in a somewhat big twst discord server back then and although I'm super grateful to have been part of the server and met wonderful people there who are friends till this day, I also had a few unpleasant experiences. Jade, Floyd and Jamil were super popular in the server I was in, so whenever I tried to talk or gush about them, I was talked over. The server was also yume-friendly but I was still figuring out this whole yume thing and who I'd yume. The more I was talked over and ignored in favor of the louder and more popular tweels/jamil stans in the server (I think there was AT LEAST 5 yumes for each of them...) the more I felt unmotivated to keep gushing for them. Whenever I made art of them, people would immediately tag the popular loud stans to gush other THEIR reaction, and suddenly the conversation was immediately shifted towards them. I know this sort of thing is expected in a big server since people already have their circles but man… It made me a lot insecure to yume them.

But whenever I talked about JACK I was actually listened to, and my opinions were validated. Simply because back then there were little to none Jack stans, so most of them looked up to me as reference for a ''Jack enjoyer/simp''. I started to think how unfair it was that the other characters had plenty of love, plenty of attention already while Jack had almost none. No one hated him but no one quite loved him either to consider him their #1. I was baffled because he's genuinely one of the sweetest characters. I know it sounds silly, but I felt compelled to be his advocate. I WANTED people to see just how sweet he is, how he's more than just a big, uninteresting jock that only talks about working out.

I always sympathized with the odd, with the outcasts, with the ones that weren't chosen because they were not like the majority because they remind me of what I went through as a socially anxious aspie kid (I was never really comfortable revealing my diagnosis online but there you have it, autistic vic reveal lol as if that wasn't obvious before ig) do you know the feeling of being in PE class and the two kids forming groups are choosing who they want for their team and you know you'll be dead last because no one wants you in their team? So you end up in a random team not because someone chose you, but because you were the only one left and they needed to fill the space. They don't necessarily want to kick you out of the team, but they don't want you either. You're indifferent to them. This is how I imagined how Jack must have felt like in the fandom. Always ''he's such a good boy'' ''he's so sweet'' but never someone's favorite. I've lost count of how many self proclaimed ''savanaclaw stans'' I met that are just solely Leona stans who talk 90% of the time about Leona, the other 10% about Ruggie and outright IGNORE Jack.

After getting Jack's first birthday card in the first 10 rolls, I decided, well he's gonna be MY favorite. The other popular characters have enough fans, enough people to make art and writing for them. It wouldn't make a difference if one more fan is added or removed. But for Jack, at least back then, it DID make a difference. Finding people in the eng fandom who would do fanart of him (like just HIM, not him being part of a group like savanaclaw or first years) was so rare. And especially finding accounts or blogs dedicated entirely about him…?? I don't remember seeing any of it. This…erasure, this indifference towards him made me feel even more connected to him. I want to keep supporting him, to keep giving him the love that he deserves.

In these 4 years he's been a massive source of comfort to me, if I feel anxious or stressed I imagine his big, warm hand on my shoulder, on the small of my back, patting my head etc… I imagine him motivating me to work harder, to push myself out of my comfort zone, telling me to stop moping and to get up and try again. I imagine him giving me his tail to hold and pet when I need to keep myself grounded. I imagine his disapproving look when I have dishonest thoughts or think about taking shortcuts.

I don't know how to finish this, but if you read ALL of this congrats and thank you for bearing with me lol it took me almost 4 hours to write this entire bible...... if you DID read all of this, I hope I could, if only a little bit, change your perspective on Jack Howl for the better.

I love Jack Howl.

[hesontherun]

i got so excited by the ace attorney frozen fic updating that i redid my old fanart from 2020 😭 😭 i love this fic so much.. it genuinely is the thing that got me into ace attorney and i think that's beautiful ❤️

thank you @zarla-s and @bardic-feline for coming back to it after all these years, it made my week 💗💗!!!

[macandcheese-inhaler]

In honor of ace week, I'd like to share my first memory of learning what asexual meant. I was watching a YouTube video about it during early 2020/late 2019. (I don't remember if the video was specifically about asexuality or if it was a modge podge of queer identities, but that part's not important.) The concept of lgbt+ was still a little confusing to me, and I wanted to learn about all of the different identities in the community. I remember the video showing the word "asexual," the purple flag, and the classic definition, "people who experience little to no sexual attraction".

My very first reation to the those words was, "I hope I end up being asexual. Sex is so gross."

Oh younger me, if only you knew how it was blatantly obvious that you were ace.

I thought I was too young at time to "know," especially because I hadn't ever been "interested" in anyone, let alone have a proper crush so, obviously I couldn't know if I experienced sexual attraction or not. (I didn't know aromantic was a term at that time, nor did I know people could experience sexual attraction without romantic attraction) My logic was lacking, but I was convinced I'd find a crush in due time.

I was in no rush to find them. I had no interest in dating, but I have to admit, I was so curious as to why everyone was so obsessed with crushes. (I could never figure out what romantic attraction was, so up until about mid 2023, I thought sexual attraction always went along with romantic attraction)

A mere 3 years later, several conversations with friends, and many, many hours worth of research, I made it to the point where I caved and finally admitted I was most likely aroace. I didn't officially accept it until about February of 2024, but that's a story for another time.