#ace eats them both because it's polite :)

[unoriginal-and-dumb]

I imagine that they were childhood friends and played on the gross play rugs in ikea

Headcanons me and my friend came up with if you guys would like to read… huehuehue.. 👇👇

wiki says lampert was formed in a factory but it doesn’t say he was brought to LIFE in a factory. we hc that kasper “made” lampert as a child because he was lonely in ikea and had no friends. Also being one of those mf kids who draw on the walls and everything else. he drew a face on a lamp and the next day it turned into a boy yippee. they grew up together as best friends

kasper originally named lampert lamper, cause his name is kasper and he just replaced the kasp with lamp. when he came to life lampert was like no i think its lampert, not lamper and kasper was like ok 👍😁

they liked to play cars on the car play rug in ikea. kasper liked to race and crash them and lampert liked to send in the police and ambulance for cleanup. theyd play that over and over again it never got old

when they would play outside, they liked to set up things to look really pretty (like a nice stick and leaf house or dress up a really pretty doll) and then set it on fire with a magnifying glass (lampert liked the first part, kasper liked the second part)

kasper is korean-american and he had slightly lighter hair as a kid (LET ME HAVE THIS HAVE HAVE NOTHING)

both them ace and specifically lampert ace aro and specifically like romance and sex repulsed ace aro like if you stand too close to him he freaks out imagine if someone were to kiss him that would not fly. romance and sex r NASTY to him do not touch him

when lampert would hang out with kasper he would just stand very still in the corner of the room the whole time. not for any bad reason, he is just a lamp and does not see the need to do anything else than stand in the corner while he talks. when they hang out at ikea sometimes kasper starts talking to the wrong lamp because of this

lampert has a set list of facial expressions that show exactly how he feels. this is verging on not ok :) (his normal expression) this is not ok : ) (scawy) or this : ( this is silly :] these are all more fine :( :[ D: :D :o :/

lampert talks with a similar cadence to baymax snd also is politely blunt in the very autistic way. he states his opinion on something even if maybe its not a nice thing to say but he says it very politely (when eating food someone made for him that he really doesnt like: “i dont think i will be finishing this, it does not taste good. thank you! goodbye”)

They are so autism vs adhd to me.

Kasper was probably a sticky iPad leash kid before that was really a thing he’s a real trendsetter what a guy. He would run all over the place nonstop and everyone would just see some freak kid run mach 4 snatch a rug off the ground and then disappear like a gnome

[yuri-is-online]

Out of the Bag (Jamil, Ace, and Idia x Yuu)

"Oh can I help you? You seem to be lost." You attempt to cheerfully ask the vaguely familiar looking person in front of you. As if he is deliberately trying to rub salt in your wounds, Crowley ignored your request to leave campus for NRC parents day and is instead making you and Grim run errands. The person in front of you, blissfully ignorant to your inner turmoil perks up at your attention.

"Forgive me for asking, but are you the magicless prefect?" You and Grim exchange a confused glance. "You've got to be right?" They're practically glowing with how happy they are to see you. " Oh I'm sorry, I've just heard so much about you!" Wait, what?

notes: (so uhhhh Jamil and Ace were supposed to be a part of the original post but I cut them out because I had to go to bed but forgot to remove the tags, sorry </3) they/them pronouns used for Yuu, sibling snark (Jamil and Ace) vs light angst (the Shroud parents), light reference to certain events in Ch. 6, but nothing specific. If you liked this please check out the first version on my masterlist.

Jamil

"Oh yeah, you're Najma, right?" The younger girl looks pleasantly surprised you have remembered her from your visit to the Scalding Sands.

"Well that makes this a lot easier, do you know where Jamil is?" You internally cheer at how polite she is, some of the other families you have been dealing with today have really been testing your patience. "I've been looking everywhere for him, but couldn't seem to find a good opportunity to sneak up on him." Or maybe not, that doesn't sound like she hasn't seen him at all, why is she asking you?

"According to my schedule he's probably in the gym for the club activities program." You confirm with your clipboard and Najma sighs.

"Lame, he's gonna be all sweaty and gross." She checks her phone as you sneak a glance at Grim trying to figure out how much longer you have before you need to find something shiny to distract him. "Actually maybe I can just ask you." You turn your attention back to Najma who seems to be tapping her cheek with her phone and sizing you up. "Is there anywhere to get snacks on campus?"

"Now you're talkin!" Cheers Grim, bringing a really bright smile to Najma's face and a tentative one to yours. "Mr. S's Mystery Shop's got all the tuna you can ask for!"

"And other things to." You helpfully add and Najma happily begins to follow.

"So what do you like to do?" she asks almost ten seconds into your walk. "Like what fun stuff is there to do around campus?"

"Shouldn't you be asking your brother?" You ask, thankful Grim is too caught up in his tuna thoughts to make any snarky comments.

"About you?" Najma laughs and you feel a bit silly. "Nah he hates being honest about things like that."

"Well I don't have much free time..." but you manage to list off some things that you like as Najma nods, still tapping her phone on her chin for some reason.

"What about food?" she stops fiddling with her phone and just goes straight to texting on it as the Mystery Shop comes into view. "I know Jamil's food looks boring but it tastes super good."

"It sure does." Grim says, well more like whines. "He only ever gives it to Yuu and gets mad when I eat it though."

"That's because he asked for my opinion, not yours." It's a petty thing to say, but hey Jamil's a good cook. Najma seems to agree, giggling before you both jump ten feet backwards as a strangely shaped blur nearly knocks you over.

"NAJMA!" Jamil is indeed, sweaty and gross looking, his basketball jersey is practically drenched through, almost like he ran the entire way to here from the gymnasium. He's doubled over, hands on his knees as you fumble around looking for the water bottle Crewel made you bring with you earlier which he gratefully takes.

"Oh hey what are you doing here Jamil?" You don't know Najma super well, but she almost sounds disappointed to see her brother. "Prefect said you were at the gym."

"Don't start." Jamil passes you back the empty water bottle, hesitating just a bit before he lets you take it. "She didn't do anything weird, right? Hasn't said anything strange?" You blink in confusion.

"No? She's just been asking a bunch of questions about stuff. Jamil relaxes, letting you take the bottle with a genuine smile-

And gets cut off by a shutter sound effect making you both turn towards Najma, who doesn't bother looking up from her phone camera.

"Whoops thought I turned that off."

Ace

"Well, well, well, just what should I do with you?"  The ginger stranger is stroking his chin with an all too familiar look that puts you on edge, not because you think he is going to try anything illegal (yet) but because you can practically see the collar on this guy already.  There really is no beating around the bush about who this guy is, even if you really wished you had some plausible deniability.   "I could tell you about that time I told him if he kissed a frog it would turn into royalty and he actually did it-"  Too much information he technically just did.  "Or what about that time he only wanted to eat carrots so I freaked him out by saying he was turning into one because his hair was orange-"  So is yours big brother Trappola!  And where the hell is Grim he is supposed to be suffering through this with you.  "Nah those are too boring- oh I got it!"  Before you can break out in a dash for the mirror chamber, big brother Trappola claps an unintentionally (you hope) firm hand on your shoulder.  "Listen to this- wait I didn't introduce myself I-"

"Ace's brother."  He seems genuinely taken aback.  "He talks about you all the time." 

"Oh does he?"  Maybe you shouldn't have mentioned that, little Trappola's ego was insufferable already, older Trappola's has got to be worse right.  It's so obvious you can't even bring yourself to put the question mark on it.

"Funny you mention that, from my end it seems like all he ever talks about is Yuu."  He makes a big show of looking you over.  "Always talking about what a pain it is to look after you, but he never does stop."  He maneuvers himself to look directly into your eyes.  “You must be pretty special then, right?”

“Didn’t you used to go here?”  You ask, crossing your arms and fixing your best “not today Trappola” look onto your face.

“Sure did!  Also got put into Heartslabyul, must run in the family, we’re all a bit mad.”  Older Trappola breaks eye contact for just a second, something dancing on the tip of his tongue you have no desire to entertain at all.  You just want to ditch this overgrown root veg on his brother and then take a nap.

“So then, just to be clear, you don’t need me to show you around.”  You fumble around your clipboard looking for a map anyway.

“Oh no I absolutely need you to do that.”  You like it when Ace plays dumb better, at least it’s cute.  “Would be a really bad thing if you just left me all alone and I went somewhere I wasn’t supposed to.”  He stands up straight, looking off into the distance behind you with a dramatic sigh.  “Somewhere like Ramshackle Dorm maybe?  I hear that’s one of Ace’s-”

 A surprisingly strong pair of arms wraps you into an embrace from behind.

“Back off.” snaps Ace, a lot harsher than either of you have heard before “This one’s mine.”

Idia

"Dear! Dear! Come look it's the prefect!" A very excited very pink woman in a sundress and comically oversized sunglasses beckons to a very tall, very out place looking man who is... also wearing comically oversized sunglasses.

"The who?" he sheepishly walks over to his wife and gives you a little wave, clearly out of place but trying his best.

"The prefect! Ortho and Idia's friend." The realization seems to hit both you and Mr. Shroud at the same time, causing you both to retreat just a bit. You because you feel desperately dumb for not noticing the flaming hair and him because-

Well you hope it's because of the whole house thing but who knows.

"Oh sorry. Um we're Mr. and Mrs. Shroud but you probably already guessed that it's really nice to meet you." You awkwardly shake hands while Grim hides behind your legs.

"Do you have any plans for today?" Asks Mrs. Shroud. "I'd hate to interrupt things too much."

"Oh no that's not really an issue for me." You look down at Grim for half a second before adding. "For us."

"I'm sorry to hear that." whispers Mr. Shroud, gently taking his wife's hand and you stand around in silence for a little bit, trying to figure out how to walk the conversation from the ledge it's found itself on.

"Um if there isn't anything you need help with-"

"Idia speaks really highly of you." Mrs. Shroud says gently, and you have to keep yourself from fainting from shock. Idia speaking highly of- no forget that. Idia talks to his parents? And you were the conversation topic? If she had said it was Ortho that would make sense but Idia? "I know he can be a bit blunt, but he treasures your friendship. And as his mother, I am very grateful he has someone as kind as you in his life."

"We both are." whispers Mr. Shroud. "If you need help while you are here please don't hesitate to ask us." And with that they leave you and Grim

~~~

[Fullmetal] hey ortho said u ran into our parents irl

[Fullmetal] srry that had to be awkward

[yuu] it's cool

[yuu] I mean they spooked Grim but they were nice lol

[Fullmetal] UNACCEPTABLE

[Fullmetal] ...so do you think that he'd be cool to come over so I can like

[Fullmetal] apologize

[Fullmetal] u know for the stress

[yuu] and not for talking about me behind my back (￣ε￣)

[read at 6:57 pm]

[Fullmetal is typing... ... ...] [... ... ...] [... ... ...]

"I don't need to apologize if I said nice things... right?"

[runicarbiter02]

Helllooo! Request are open and I'm running over here. Can I request hdc for alejandro vargas and ghost, being jealous because there crush is a little bit touching with another men. Thank youu honey.

A/N: This is definitely an interesting one! I'd be happy to write these for you, since you specifically specified them, I'll just do them for this one. :) I hope you enjoy, darling! I'm still learning how to write for Ale, so I apologize if he's a bit OOC! Also, thank you all for over 1,000 notes on my first headcanon request! I am so, so happy you all are liking the post! ~ Hannah

ALEJANDRO VARGAS

I imagine with Alejandro, this would be a slow burn friends to lovers sort of situation. You, Alejandro, and Rudy have all been friends since you all joined up together. Alejandro has always been on the flirtier side with most people, which is why whenever he flirts with you, you don't tend to think much of it. That's just who he is, right?

Los Vaqueros had just gotten a new member, a young, handsome man in his mid-twenties. He's conventionally attractive and funny, which some of the other women definitely admire, but your thoughts are elsewhere. Unfortunately - or fortunately, if you look at it a certain way - you were assigned to show him around the base and get him up to speed.

Cut to the both of you in the mess hall on base, chattering away. Alejandro sees the both of you, and his blood boils. Who does this hijo de puta think that he is?

What really pisses him off is when the young man leans in, saying something that makes you laugh and you playfully shove him away with a coy smile. Alejandro quickly storms out, furious with the young man, but furious with himself for getting so upset.

He doesn't realize you follow him out until he feels your hand on his shoulder.

"Ale? What's wrong, hermano?" If only you knew how much he hated that nickname coming from your lips.

When he turns, one look at how concerned you are, and all his frustrations come spilling from his lips. He's just about to brush it off as him being silly when you don't respond right away before a laugh is erupting from you.

"Ale, he's not into me. He's just friendly. I thought he was flirting with me earlier, but he let me know that he's no even interested in sexual stuff. He's ace," You reassure, and suddenly, Alejandro feels ridiculously stupid. But that falls aside when you stand on your toes and brush a kiss to his cheek. "Now come on, cariño, you need to eat." His eyes follow you as you return to the mess hall, and he's stunned into silence.

Maybe he feels a little less bad about getting jealous.

SIMON "GHOST" RILEY

This man hates his jealousy. Despises it.

But, it's a part of him nonetheless, and it's something he has to live with.

I imagine it as quiet, little things around base that really gets to him: you're a medic, a really good one at that, and the men absolutely love you for how kindly you treat them all. You have patience, but you aren't afraid to bark orders at them if they're acting out of place.

"MacTavish, if you rip your stitches one more time, I'll kick your ass into next fucking week." "Captain, I don't care if you have more paperwork to do, get your ass in bed before I drag you there myself." "Hold still or I will personally strap you to this cot myself, rookie."

Your feisty nature and take-no-shit attitude is absolutely what drew him to you initially. Cue almost a year of pining on his end, and on your end, but not to his knowledge.

The final straw that ultimately cracks his resolve is a young sergeant that is trying to flirt with you while you stitch up a bullet wound on his side. It's obvious you're just being polite as you accept his compliments and hum in response at his attempts at flirting, but it still rubs Simon the wrong way.

Simon's jealousy is quiet, boiling, settling in the center of his chest. Every touch of yours against the sergeant's skin merely stokes the flames, but he does nothing, continuing to brood in the corner. He waits until you're done, shooing the young man off with a half-assed threat of harm if he ruins his stitches. That's when you finally notice him.

"Ghost, what have I told you about lurking in my med bay?" You tease softly before taking note of the hard look in his eyes. Slowly, you put two and two together, chuckling softly. "Ah, I see. C'mere, big guy."

He isn't mad. Not at all. All he can think about is that young man, who has all he doesn't: charm, good looks, youth, and the blessing of a childhood unscarred by a demon of a father. Simon isn't so lucky.

He can't stop himself as he follows your instructions, stepping into your office and taking a seat at your desk as you close the door. You sit on top of your desk and smile down at him before you hold out your hand expectantly. He furrows his brows but gives you his hand anyway, grumbling something about how he "doesn't know where your filthy mitts have been."

As soft kisses are pressed to his knuckles, however, he goes quiet. "Silly, jealous man. Can't even see that I look at you the same way you look at me. Eyes of a hawk, my ass," You tease.

He turns every shade of red beneath his damn balaclava, and you're damn certain to tease him about it as he melts back into the seat.

Hijo de puta - Son of a bitch

Hermano - Brother

Cariño - Honey; dear

TAGLIST

@floral-force

[sadtonight]

Kissing you, kissing you, kissing you, kissing you- (additional entry)

Summary: you kissed him in more ways that he could imagine and more times he could count. But he had his preferences in kissing of course, reaching cloud nine when you did his favourite types~

Characters: Ace, Leona, Jade, Rook, Malleus;

Warnings: none, lots of kissing, a bit spicy, mentions of blood in Jade's part, reader is gender neutral, established romantic relationships;

Side notes: ah, those individuals. It's like love/hate thing depending on what sort of content of them I will encounter. Except for Rook, he's such a freak I'm kinda smitten ha ha... But if I knew any of them in real life, we would throw hands on every second encounter lmao.

Ace

— what Ace really hates is the concept of hesitate. What's there to be unsure of? Just pick something and be done with it. Yeah, that's why after short lived pining and countless lame "are we together or something?" hints the ginger came up you to one day and encouraged you to finally admit that you definitely had a thing for him;

— how you become a couple was rather straightforward and casual, and yet Ace hated how his cheeks were so hot, praying for his heart not to break his ribs from how much it was pounding at that moment. The way you stupidly smiled and how you told him that you indeed liked him very very much almost made him howl from happiness;

— Ace is experienced in dating or at the very least he knows what to do, like hugging, holding hands, cuddling, eating from the same plate, playing with each others hair, going to college together etc etc. Oh right, and kissing of course!

— the ginger was such a tease and he knew that. He would intentionally sway his face from you when you reached out to meet his soft lips, which at that point needed a punch instead of a kiss. It was strange how professional and amateur he was in making out at the same time. Angling your face with one hand, the other resting in your shoulder, but his tongue being all over the place. Ace preferred that kind of kisses, or at least that's what he told you;

— one time you stayed over in Heartslabyul dorm, both of you chilling out in his shared room that was lucky empty that evening. It was a comfortable silence — Ace was a bit groggy from a hard day so he didn't speak much. You laid on the bed beside your boyfriend, watching him play some game on the smartphone, his head currently resting close to your chest;

— all while you combed his hair in a steady, lulling motion. Ace almost succumbed to sleep, until he heard you quietly wishing him good night, and feathery pressing your lips to his face: his eyelids, his forehead, his cheekbones with cheeks, his nose, his jaw and finally his mouth. Why in Twisted Wonderland you were so damn adorable?? After saying it out loud, he opened his eyes and turned his head to the side. Ace was as red as roses he often painted, and despite not saying a single word after, he hoping you would continue. Hey quit staring and... please continue kissing him...

Leona

— generally nonchalant about kissing. If you want to stick to lion's side, clinging to his arm and leaning on his chest he wouldn't mind at all, unless you get in the way. Although same doesn't applies for kissing: if you demand kisses he would poke fun at your "desperation" but if you politely ask for permission to peck him he will, with a scowl or pokerface, give in and let you do the thing, with great reluctance in public though;

— honestly he didn't care, lazily making out when both of you are cuddled somewhere warm was amazing, case closed. But Leona wouldn't say it's his top one choice — however, if asked about his favourite type he would change the topic, unless it's you who was asking, because in that instance he still wouldn't give you a solid answer. The truth is that both of you knew what it was;

— the prideful male hated, despised, absolutely loathed how you could just come up to his sitting or laying form and...kiss his head. That's right, that's it. First you lightly ruffled his hair with your hand, and when Leona started to grumble, you would crane down and press your lips to the crown of his head or to the space near his ears — the worst places by far;

— it's not supposed to feel so nice, it was unfair how this tiny stupid gesture made him all warmed up inside. Like he was some plain house cat or something. The beastman now has to be on an extra lookout for the annoying hunter: if that creepy guy found out about how vulnerable Leona is to head kisses...it won't end well. Similarly, if Ruggie found out, then the lion can expect constant snickers and mockery from the hyena boy;

— but if you point it out, while actually pressing kisses onto his head, which was resting on your chest, Leona would tell you to shut up already. Provided you feel bold enough to keep teasing him about his soft side, he would bring you down, pinning your hands with one hand while squishing your face with another, loom over you. Care to repeat what you have just said?

— if you want to be "roughed up" so badly you should have just asked, he is more than happy to put you back into place. Oh? Leona won't stand a chance against you? Hah, sounds like a bunch of crap but sure, amuse him will ya? He already won you over, little battles like these are child's play.

Jade

— now if you only knew Jade on the surface level, as a prim and proper, polite and kind person, a true gentleman if you will, then it would "shock" you to know that he really really enjoys all kinds of unexpected kisses from his beloved partner;

— merman couldn't just get enough of them! Ordinary things that ordinary land couples do were very educational and, simply put, nice to experience: it involved so much mouth work and care, like not losing track of time in order to not forget to breath, or not to bite your tongue off in the heat of the moment. If any of the aforementioned situations happened, your boyfriend would actually feel just a drop of guilt instead of pure gloat, rubbing circles on your cheeks in a comforting manner as you heavily pant or swallow saliva mixed with your own blood;

— when it came to unexpected kisses however, Jade would rather not be a "surpriser" but a "victim". He was merely browsing books in the college library when all of the sudden you popped up out of nowhere and unexpectedly smooched his slightly parted lips and skipped off to do your things. Weren't you the most adorable one? Albeit bystanders were not all too pleased...

— said bystanders were mostly Floyd and Azul that did not, in fact, asked to be subjected to your amorous business. Floyd had to drag his twin brother away to finally get to alchemistry classes when your hugging and pecking was taking way too much time. And Azul had to literally make a fake coughing fit just for his vice dorm leader to finally tear his face away from yours and give him proper attention;

— what gets Jade to absolutely lose his mind is lipstick that easily leaves marks. When he sees the beauty product carefully applied to your lips he can't help but playfully, expectantly smile at you. At first he was quite upset upon seeing his face, neck and shirt covered in a colour of your lips, yet it was weirdly fascinating. Merman helped you apply lipstick back, gently gliding the tube along your lower lip while holding your chin up, but insisted on leaving those pretty love marks you left intact;

— the reaction it raised from his dear brother and dorm leader was priceless. Hmm? You want to say that Jade has a lipstick marks on his shirt's collar, neck, jawline, cheeks and everywhere near his mouth? Oya, you are absolutely correct, he must have not noticed it, how careless of him. Your watchfulness is much appreciated. Que to Azul gagging mentally, and Floyd physically.

Rook

— mon amour, there is no type of affection in the whole universe and beyond that Rook Hunt doesn't love or hasn't expressed yet!! The man showers people with all sorts of commentary on whatever attribute has caught his keen eye, so naturally he can't seem to stop showering you with praise on whatever topic he witness you get involved in;

— the huntsman is very physical with his partner too, if you don't mind that is, since he respects and cares for your wishes. Rook always has one on his hands on your body, like resting his hand on your waist or cradling your hand in a loose hold. Bien sûr, he also never left without planting a kiss onto your being!

— ah, pressing his lips to the back of your hand when you visit Pomefiore, pecking the side of your face when you don't face him directly while you sat together, lurching to your mouth to taste the last bite of the dessert from the your tongue — the delicious looking sweet treat he has been watching you idly eating in the courtyard on the bench for the past fifteen minutes;

— it's easy to kiss Rook once or twice, yet impossible to make out with his mouth running French miles each time you pull away just a little to take a breather or to shift. Additionally, your boyfriend was unreasonably busy, leaving you very little time to get things truly going;

— do not fret through, the huntsman tries his very best to clear his schedule enough to spare you the right amount of time, so you both wouldn't rush things before they escalate to something more... something he admitted to be enjoying way to far;

— Rook is the most desperate when you initiate long, slow, steady and oh so sweet make out session. Sitting or laying down as close possible, limbs wrapped around each other's bodies. It was incredibly warm, like you went ablaze, no matter how much clothes were discarded;

— the pace at which your lips unhurriedly shifted was driving Rook insane, his constantly sharp hunter senses dulling ever so slightly, the only thing on his air deprived mind being to kiss you again, again, again and again for as long as humanly possible. French words and phrases would seep out of this throat, worshiping your sheer existence. L'amour dangereux, he kept chanting, yet kissing you once more, for longer than before.

Malleus

— the fae could have never imagined how charming the kissing process actually was: not long after you two begun kissing on the regular basis he finally realised the appeal. Truly, you will never know until you try it for yourself;

— Malleus acknowledged your affection that was present in the every lightest peck to his skin, soon enough his own infatuation translating into pressing his lips to the part of your face he could easily reach. He adored how surprised you were at the start, your little heart freezing for just a moment when his mouth connected with your forehead. The astonishment quickly wore down after a couple of months unfortunately, but nonetheless the kissing part never got tiresome or boring;

— you had to explain each and every kiss you made since your boyfriend hardly could see the difference. The results and intentions are all the same isn't that right? Turns out formal hand kissing could be romantic too. Malleus found it incredibly amusing, to the point of smirking like a child, when you took his large hand and gracefully yet casually drew your face forward to meet his pale knuckles. It felt so gratifying to receive such treatment considering he was a future king of Briar Valley — something which you regarded without fear or apprehension;

— in turn, dragon fae wished to return the favour. Not a single type of kiss could be satisfactory to the degree that in his opinion would make you as delighted as him. Malleus had tried to apply already existing knowledge of kissing onto you, only to teleport away, with no explanation, to ponder on what else to test when he didn't get the reaction he expected to prompt;

— you never minded the weird antics your boyfriend sometimes drabbled in. He was yours after all, and you loved him either way. You cuddled up to his chest, adjusting in his lap while Malleus was reading an old book. Taking note of your movements, the male brushed the side of your face with his fingers painted in black nail polish;

— you used this opportunity to catch his hand and snuggle into it, pressing light quick pecks all over the slightly cold skin. Malleus could crash gemstones with his bare hands, lift the heaviest objects and ignite or freeze his limbs in a split second, but you adoringly squeezed them with your weaker ones, just having your lips resting on his wrist. Such a precious, mortal, beloved being you were, weren't you?

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #41 – Japan 1941: Countdown to Infamy by Eri Hotta

Almost everything I know about World War 2, I learned against my will through a poorly spent adolescence and reading people argue about it online. Living in Canada, Japan’s role in it is even more obscure, with the wars in the Pacific and China getting a fraction of a fraction of the official commemoration and pop culture interest of events in Europe. So I went into this book with a knowledge of only the vague generalities of Japanese politics in the ‘30s and ‘40s – from that baseline, this was a tremendously interesting and educational book, if at times more than a bit dry.

The book is a very finely detailed narrative of the internal deliberations within the Japanese government and the diplomatic negotiations with the USA through late 1940 and 1941, which ultimately culminate in the decision to attack Pearl Harbour and invade European colonies across the Pacific. It charts the (deeply dysfunctional) decision-making systems of the Imperial Japanese government and how bureaucratic politics, factional intrigue and positioning, and an endemic unwillingness to be the one to back down and eat your words, made a war with the USA first possible, then plausible, then seemingly inevitable. Throughout this, the book wears its thesis on its sleeve – that the war in the Pacific only ever seemed inevitable, that until the very last hour there was widespread understanding that the war would be near-unwinnable across the imperial government and military, but a broken political culture, the career suicide of being the one to endorse accepting American demands,, and a simple lack of courage or will among the doves, prevented anything from ever coming of it.

So I did know that Imperial Japan’s government had, let’s say, fundamental structural issues when I opened the book, but I really wasn’t aware of just how confused and byzantine the upper echelons of it were. Like if Brazil was about the executive committee – the army and navy ministries had entirely separate planning infrastructures from the actual general staffs, and all of them were basically silo’d off from the actual economic and industrial planning bureaucracy (despite the fact that the head of the Cabinet Planning Board was a retired general). All of which is important, because the real decisions of war and peace were made in liaison meetings with the prime minister, foreign minister, and both ministry and general staff of each branch – meetings which were often as not just opportunities for grandstanding and fighting over the budget. The surprise is less that they talked themselves into an unwinnable war and more that they decided on anything at all.

The issue, as Hotta frames it, is that there really wasn’t a single place the buck stopped – officially speaking, the civilian government and both branches of the military served the pleasure of the Emperor – whose theoretically absolute authority was contained by both his temperament and both custom and a whole court bureaucracy dedicated to making sure the prestige of the throne didn’t get mired in and discredited by the muck of politics. The entire Meiji Constitution was built around the presence of a clique of ‘imperial advisers’ who could borrow the emperor’s authority without being so restrained – but as your Ito Hirobumis and Yamagata Aritomos died off, no one with the same energy, authority and vision ever seems to have replaced them.

So you had momentous policy decisions presented as suggestions to the emperor who could agree and thus turn them into inviolable commands, and understood by the emperor as settled policy who would provide an apolitical rubber-stamp on. Which, combined with institutional cultures that strongly encouraged being a good soldier and not undercutting or hurting the image of your faction, led to a lot of people quietly waiting for someone else to stand up and make a scene for them (or just staying silent and wishing them well when they actually did).

Now, this is all perhaps a bit too convenient for many of the people involved – doubtless anyone sitting down and writing their memoirs in 1946 would feel like exaggerating their qualms about the war as much as they could possibly get away with. I feel like Hotta probably takes those post-war memoirs and interviews too much at face value in terms of people’s unstated inner feeling – but on the other hand, the bureaucratic records and participants’ notes preserved from the pivotal meetings themselves do seem to show a great deal of hesitation and factional doubletalk. Most surprisingly to me was the fact that Tojo (who I had the very vague impression was the closest thing to a Japanese Hitler/Mussolini there was) was actually chosen to lead a peace cabinet and find some 11th hour way to avert the war. Which in retrospect was an obviously terrible decision, but it was one he at least initially tried to follow through on.

If the book has a singular villain, it’s actually no Tojo (who is portrayed as, roughly, replacement-rate bad) but Prince Konoe, the prime minister who actually presided over Japan’s invasion of China abroad and slide into a militarized police state at home, who led the empire to the very brink of war with the United States before getting cold feet and resigning at the last possible moment to avoid the responsibility of either starting the war or of infuriating the military and destroying his own credibility by backing down and acceding to America’s demands. He’s portrayed as, not causing, but exacerbating

every one of Japan’s structural political issues through a mixture of cowardice and excellent survival instincts – he carefully avoided fights he might lose, even when that meant letting his foreign minister continue to sabotage negotiations he supported while he arranged support to cleanly remove him (let alone really pushing back on the army). At the same time, the initiatives he did commit were all things inspired by his deep fascination with Nazi Germany – the dissolution of partisan political parties and creation of an (aspirationally, anyway) totalitarian Imperial Rule Assistance Association, the creation of a real militarized police state, the heavy-handed efforts to create a more pure and patriotic culture. He’s hardly to blame for all of that, of course, but given that he was a civilian politician initially elected to curb military influence, his governments sure as hell didn’t help anything (and it is I suppose just memorably ironic that he’s the guy on the spot for many of the most military-dictatorship-e aspects of Japanese government).

One of the most striking things about the book is actually not even part of the main narrative but just the background context of how badly off Japan was even before they attacked the United States. I knew the invasion of China hadn’t exactly been going great, but ‘widespread rationing in major cities, tearing up wrought iron fencing in the nicest districts of the capital to use in war industry’ goes so much further than I had any sense of. The second Sino-Japanese War was the quintessential imperial adventure and war of choice, and also just literally beyond the material abilities of the state of Japan to sustain in conjunction with normal civilian life. You see how the American embargo on scrap metal and petroleum was seen as nearly an act of war in its own right. You also wonder even more how anyone could possibly have convinced themselves that an army that was already struggling to keep its soldiers fed could possibly win an entirely new war with the greatest industrial power on earth. Explaining which is of course the whole point of the book (they didn’t, in large part, but convinced themselves the Americans wouldn’t have the stomach for it and agree to a favourable peace quickly, or that Germany would conquer the UK and USSR and impose mediation on Japan’s terms, or-).

When trying to understand the decision-making process, I’m honestly reminded of nothing so much as the obsession with ‘credibility’ you see among many American foreign policy hands in the modern day. The idea that once something had been committed to – the (largely only extant on paper) alliance with Nazi Germany, the creation of a collaborator government in China to ‘negotiate’ with, the occupation of southern Vietnam – then, even if you agreed it hadn’t worked out and had probably been a terrible decision to begin with, reversing course without some sort of face-saving agreement or concession on the other side would shatter any image of strength and invite everyone else the world over to grab at what you have. The same applies just as much to internal politics, where admitting that your branch couldn’t see a way to victory in the proposed war was seen as basically surrendering the viciously fought over budget, no matter the actual opinions of your experts – the book includes anecdotes about both fleet admirals and the senior field marshal China privately tearing their respective superiors in Tokyo a (polite) new one for the bellicosity they did not believe themselves capable of following through on, but of course none of these sentiments were ever shared with anyone who might use them against the army/navy.

The book is very much a narrative of the highest levels of government, idea of mass sentiment and popular opinion are only really incidentally addressed. Which does make it come as a shock every time it’s mentioned that a particular negotiation was carried out in secret because someone got spooked by an ultranationalist assassination attempt the day before. I entirely believe that no one wanted to say as much, but I can’t help but feel that people’s unwillingness to forthrightly oppose further war owed something to all the radical actors floating around in the junior ranks of the officer corps who more than willing to take ‘decisive, heroic action’ against anyone in government trying to stab the war effort in the back. Which is something that the ever-increasing number of war dead in China (with attendant patriotic unwillingness to let them die ‘for nothing) and the way everyone kept trying to rally the public to the war effort with ever-more militaristic public rhetoric assuredly only made worse.

That same rhetoric also played its part in destroying the possibility of negotiations with the United States. The story of those negotiations runs throughout the book, and is basically one misunderstanding and failure to communicate after another. It at times verges on comedy. Just complete failure to model the political situation and diplomatic logic of the other party, on both sides (combined with a great and increasing degree of wishful thinking that e.g. letting the military occupy southern French Indochina as a concession for their buy-in on further negotiations would be fine with the Americans. A belief held on exactly zero evidence whatsoever). The United States government was actually quite keen to avoid a war in the pacific if possible, as FDR did his best to get entangled in Europe and effectively start an undeclared naval war with Germany – but the negotiating stance hardened as Japan seemed more and more aggressive and unreliable, which coincided exactly with Japan’s government taking the possibility of war seriously enough to actually try to negotiate. It’s the same old story of offering concessions and understanding that might have been agreed to a few months beforehand, but were now totally unacceptable. In the end, everyone pinned their hopes on a face-to-face diplomatic summit with FDR in Juneau, where sweeping concessions could be agreed to and the government’s credibility staked on somewhere the hardliners could not physically interfere with. The Americans, meanwhile, wanted some solid framework for what the agreement would be before the summit occurred, and so it never did.

After the war, it was apparently the general sentiment that the whole nation was responsible for the war with the United States – which is to say that no individual person deserved any special or specific blame. Hotta’s stated aim with the book is to show how that’s bullshit, how war was entirely avoidable, and it was only do to these small cliques of specific, named individuals that it began. The hardliners like Osami Nagano, but just as much the cowards, careerists and factional partisans like Konoe, Tojo, and (keeper of the Privy Seal) Kido. Having read it I, at least, am convinced.

[cuubism]

I'd love something about Dream who's very aware that he's way too intense romantically while also being not intense enough sexually because he's ace. His partners usually prefer it the other way around. If that's something you'd be willing to write (if not that's okay too)

hmm yes, we can always do ace dream. though we didn't quite reach 'aware' 😂 human uni au is what popped to my mind

--

When Hob gets back from class, Dream is lying facedown on the couch, one long arm trailing morosely down to the floor, face smashed so deeply into a pillow that Hob can only see the tufts of his hair. He seems to have been there for some time, and doesn't move when Hob comes in.

"Horrors insurmountable today?" Hob asks as he puts down his bag and heads to the adjoining kitchen to grab a snack. He'll probably need to grab one for Dream, too, now that he thinks about it. Doubtful he's eaten.

Dream just makes an mmph sound against his pillow. Then, once Hob's returned to the living room with a plate of apple slices, Dream pops his head up, lines all over his cheek from the pillow, fluffy hair going every which way, and says, "How much do you care about sex?"

Hob nearly trips and flings his apple slices everywhere. "What?"

"In general," Dream persists, heedless of Hob's shock. "Do you subscribe to the belief that individuals past puberty, particularly men, think about sex constantly, or is that an exaggeration? Which do you think is more important in a partnership: compatible personalities, or compatible sex drives? And why?"

"What is this, a sociology assignment?"

"Answer, please," Dream insists.

Hob sighs and gives in to the mad questioning. Joke's on him for having an insane roommate. "I thought about sex all the time when I was thirteen, maybe. Right now I'm just thinking about how I haven't eaten since breakfast and I'm fucking starving but we're playing Twenty Questions instead of eating. And as to the second one, I don't know, Dream, I think both are probably important."

"So you think about sex an amount you would consider 'frequent'," Dream presses.

Hob's cheeks heat. Sex is not really a topic he wants to discuss with Dream of all people. Those two thoughts don't meld together into anything good for polite company. "I don't know, I guess!? Doesn't everyone?"

Dream lets out a despairing wail and thumps his head back into his pillow. "I am outnumbered."

Hob still has no idea what the hell he's on about. He finally gives up and just starts eating the apple slices. He offers one to Dream, holding it by the corner of his eye until he finally sees it and takes it, turns his head to the side just enough to start nibbling on it.

"You'll choke if you eat that lying down," Hob warns.

Dream begrudgingly pushes himself up, collapsing against the back of the couch, and goes back to nibbling on his apple slice.

"So," Hob continues, awkwardly, when Dream doesn't say anything else, "sex life not going so well, then?"

Dream glares at him, though it's not very intimidating considering the apple halfway into his mouth. "Too well, by most standards," he finally sniffs, and eats the rest of the slice.

"Oh, yeah?" Dream having sex is another thing Hob doesn't really like to think about. Why'd he bring that up again?

"Indeed. I have suitors falling over each other to bed me," Dream says.

Do all classic literature students talk the way Dream does? Hob doesn't know. It's been two years that they've lived together and he's still yet to definitively figure out if it's an affectation or just the way Dream is. He's leaning towards the latter.

Unfortunately, he can believe Dream's statement. Dream is a snitty little prick most of the time, but he's also unbearably beautiful.

"So what's the problem, then?" he asks.

"I don't want them to bed me," Dream says.

Hob's not following. "Say no, then?"

Dream rolls his eyes. "I don't want them to bed me, I want them to want me." His voice loses some of its determination halfway through the sentence, and he looks away.

Ouch. "Sounds like they do want you?"

Dream snorts. "Only so long as it suits them. Only so long as I fit their parameters. Today I spoke to Cori--"

Ah, yes, Cori, Dream's most recent ex-boyfriend. Dream's had a lot of ex-boyfriends, but Cori really tops the list, and not in a good way.

Now that Hob thinks about it, all of Dream's relationships kind of go the same way. Dream comes home after the first date bouncing off the walls with stars in his eyes insisting this person's the one, and within two months the thing's somehow torpedoed into the Underworld and Hob's scraping Dream up off the bathroom floor.

He's starting to see where the initial line of questioning might have come from.

"--and he, at last, was straightforward with me when no one else has bothered to be all this time. I demanded to know, truthfully, why he ended things, and he told me that I 'care too much, but won't put out'--"

Hob winces.

"--which does not make sense, as we had sex frequently? I do not know what else I am meant to be 'putting' and where. I said as much, and he laughed, and said--" he imitates Cori's voice with a surprisingly passable American accent-- "'It only counts if you at least pretend you want to be there, doll. Next time try initiating occasionally.' He left before I could question him further."

Hob doesn't like the picture this is painting. And Dream is looking at him beseechingly, like Hob might be able to explain the bizarre encounter. "So... now you're trying to figure out if your understanding of sex is wrong or something?"

"I felt that, as a neutral observer to the situation, you would be appropriate to survey," Dream says.

(Neutral is a stretch, Hob thinks.)

"So I ask you, Hob Gadling, as a man demonstrably unbothered by 'hookup culture'--"

"Are you calling me a slut?"

"--what do you think is the correct amount that one should care about sex? Because I--" he breaks off, twisting his fingers in his hair, suddenly anxious-- "I do not know what I am doing wrong."

Hob moves to sit beside him, lays a hand lightly on his arm. He's about to say, you're not doing anything wrong, except... that may not precisely be true. At least in terms of how Dream is actually handling it with his partners.

"How much do you care about sex?" he asks.

"Not as much as I am supposed to, evidently," Dream says. Hob just waits for him to elaborate. "Not very much. I prefer not to think about it." He looks at Hob, weary. "Now you will tell me that this is abnormal."

"I don't know what's 'normal'," Hob says. "But it does sound different from how Cori felt about it."

"I suppose," Dream says, sadly.

Hob doesn't particularly like where the intersection of 'I don't care about sex' and 'we had sex all the time' lands him. "If you don't care that much, why keep doing it?"

"It is what is done, is it not?" says Dream. "Besides. I do not mind so much. But even when I do participate, it is still not good enough. Or so it seems."

It's because they're picking up on the fact that you're not really enjoying it, Hob thinks. No one wants a partner who's not engaging. Least not anyone decent. But not saying anything and then just dipping out suddenly is kind of a dickish move, in his opinion.

"Do you want to participate?" he asks.

This seems to give Dream pause. "Mostly I would prefer to do other things. Like. Dates. Only that does not seem much appreciated either." He twists his hands together. "Perhaps Cori is right. I. Care too much."

"No." Hob takes Dream's hands and untwists them. "Cori's a dickhead. You just need to find someone who's on the same page as you, that's all."

"But it seems that book is rather empty," Dream says. He hasn't taken his hands back from Hob.

"Well, was there anyone that you did like having sex with? Or has it always just been--" he can't help but cringe-- "you just putting up with it because you thought you were supposed to?"

"Calliope," Dream says instantly, and Hob lets out a relieved breath. At least it's not all bad. "Because, no matter that it ended poorly... I felt that she truly liked me. And not. Just sex."

"Okay, see?" he says. "You just have to find someone like that."

It... hurts, to try to push Dream into someone else's path. But Hob's long accepted that Dream doesn't feel that way about him. Dream rarely seems hesitant about trying to date anyone he is interested in. Surely if he felt that way about Hob, he would have made it clear by now.

"Someone," Dream echoes, looking down at their joined hands.

"Just because what you want isn't common doesn't mean it's not out there," Hob says, trying to be encouraging. "And hey, if you know now, you can avoid the whole 'not on the same page' rigamarole, hm?"

"Yes," Dream says. "I suppose so." Finally he takes back his hands, instead taking another apple slice from the plate Hob's left on the coffee table and chewing on it slowly.

I would love you right, Hob thinks, unwanted, unbidden. It's not a productive thought, and it's a painful one, too.

"Perhaps I will take a break," Dream decides, though doesn't sound entirely happy about it.

"Could be good," Hob says. "Get your head on right."

"Yes," Dream agrees. "This has been. Illuminating. I thank you for your counsel. I suppose I will have to also thank Cori, 'dickhead' though he may be."

And with that he retreats to his room, still seeming a little off-kilter. And Hob can't help but feel like he's gone wrong somewhere, said something wrong, though he doesn't know where, or what.

[historical-kitten]

Ancient Roman Poets on a Modern Date

Catullus (Gaius Valerius Catullus)

If you meet him before Lesbia, he will be charming, eloquent, and happy to go wherever you like, although his funds could be limited. Even so, he'll make sure you both enjoy yourselves. Theater or concert tickets in the plebian--nosebleed--section, for instance. If you meet him after Lesbia, there is a possibility he will spend the entire time trauma-dumping about his ex. If you also have one to complain about, this could be cathartic.

Vergil (Publius Vergilius Maro)

He takes you out to his beehive dressed in full bee-keeping gear to introduce you to his bees and then goes inside, where you sample different varieties of honey drizzled over fruit. He is sweet, but does talk about fields and bees a lot.

Ovid (Gaius Valerius Catullus)

Let's be honest. This might be more of a Tinder or Grindr hookup than a date. However, it's possible you met at a theater, race track, parade, or seaside resort. If you are aro/ace, run away. If you aren't and you are interested in seeing if he truly is proficient as a teacher of love, stick around. Don't expect him to be faithful, however. And although his manners are perfect, remember that it's an art and a game to him, so guard your heart.

Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus)

He'll take you out for a night of expensive dining and pay for it solely because the friend of a friend that owns the place owes him. He is charming company and can get you into any exclusive club or private experience you want to go to, but will expect reciprocated favors. Also, he turns on the charm, but absolutely expects to be complimented in return.

Sulpicia

She plays hard to get initially, not wanting to be too obvious with her affection. The first date will be YOUR choice. Pick well and she'll follow that with a candlelit dinner and eternal devotion. She does have expensive taste, however, and she would absolutely report you to her scary uncle if you break her heart.

Martial (Marcus Valerius Martialis)

He takes you on a picnic. Despite this being in the country, he'll opt for fine wine and gourmet food. He's easy to talk to, funny, and catty with his gossip. However, he'll also go on about his childhood in the country and how he went hunting and fishing and how he misses the simple country life. (All while sipping from an expensive goblet.)

Livy (Titus Livius)

He takes you to a museum and acts as your tour guide throughout the entire thing. Who knew that your date would double as a living and breathing audio tour? You're supposed to eat at the museum cafe, but you may not make it there before it closes... If you're a fan of history, you're in for a treat.

Iullus Antonius

Iullus is a huge romantic and just as charming as his famous father. He will show up with flowers and take you on a date in a small, undiscovered restaurant and to a lot of cute places that are off the beaten path. Whether you hit it off romantically or not, he's the kind of guy who could be your ride or die. (Spoiler alert, when he says he's your ride or die, he's extremely serious. 💀)

Albius Tibullus

When he falls, he falls hard. He takes you on a date in an orchard. This includes picking grapes and then tasting wines. If the date is before he was entranced with one of the lovers he wrote about, all is well. If not, he might get a little teary eyed about his past love(s). He is polite, sweet, attentive, and apologetic though.

Juvenal (Decimus Junius Juvenalis)

He takes you to an expensive restaurant and makes it clear he is only paying for HIS meal. The entire time he criticizes everyone else in the restaurant for being posers and judges them based upon appearance, status, and gender. His date is not a safe place for anyone who doesn't fit his definition of traditional values. Definitely talks about kids these days and the degradation of society.

[trickstergemini]

the bestest friends!!! they do a dancey dance

me n MY bestest friend @unoriginal-and-dumb being sillay on the blox last night…… we like these 2 so MUCH……..

sharing some of our headcanons we thought up with our big brains for kasper and lampert under the cut (most of them r mainly lampert related)

wiki says lampert was formed in a factory but it doesn’t say he was brought to LIFE in a factory. we hc that kasper “made” lampert as a child because he was lonely in ikea and had no friends. he drew a face on a lamp and the next day it turned into a boy yippee. they grew up together as best friends

kasper originally named lampert lamper, cause his name is kasper and he just replaced the kasp with lamp. when he came to life lampert was like no i think its lampert, not lamper and kasper was like ok 👍😁

they liked to play cars on the car play rug in ikea. kasper liked to race and crash them and lampert liked to send in the police and ambulance for cleanup. theyd play that over and over again it never got old

when they would play outside, they liked to set up things to look really pretty (like a nice stick and leaf house or dress up a really pretty doll) and then set it on fire with a magnifying glass (lampert liked the first part, kasper liked the second part)

kasper is korean-american and he had slightly lighter hair as a kid

both them ace and specifically lampert ace aro and specifically like romance and sex repulsed ace aro like if you stand too close to him he freaks out imagine if someone were to kiss him that would not fly. romance and sex r NASTY to him do not touch him

when lampert would hang out with kasper he would just stand very still in the corner of the room the whole time. not for any bad reason, he is just a lamp and does not see the need to do anything else than stand in the corner while he talks. when they hang out at ikea sometimes kasper starts talking to the wrong lamp because of this

lampert has a set list of facial expressions that show exactly how he feels. this is verging on not ok :) (his normal expression) this is not ok : ) or this : ( this is silly :] these are all fine :( :[ D: :D

lampert talks with a similar cadence to baymax snd also is politely blunt in the very autistic way. he states his opinion on something even if maybe its not a nice thing to say but he says it very politely (when eating food someone made for him that he really doesnt like: “i dont think i will be finishing this, it does not taste good. thank you! goodbye”)

[sagethegaywitch]

Dimensions: Heartslabyul

Male reader

TW: choking, yandere behavior, memory erasing

Genre: yandere

Here's the link for my other Dimensions: Twisted Wonderland Overblots works.

The story will take place in Wonderland, the one from the original “Alice In Wonderland” that the Heartslabyul dorm is based on.  As the overblot eats away at the characters, they start to resemble and act more like the Disney characters they are based on.  The reader will be called Y/N and Alice.

f/c = favorite color

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You groan as you feel the sun on your eyelids, forcing you awake.  You blink open your eyes and rub the sleep out of them as you sit up from your lying position.  You look around you and find yourself in the middle of a large garden.  Around you are rows of white rose bushes that are then surrounded by hedges that lead into a maze.  You can’t seem to remember how you got here, and you feel like this place looks a little too familiar.  The more you think about it, the more your head hurts, so you decide to brush it off and worry about it later.  You push yourself up from the ground and brush off your outfit, which you only now realize is a Victorian white dress shirt paired with a light blue vest and black pants.  You feel a bit uncomfortable in the outfit, like you know you were wearing something else earlier.  Not wanting to deal with a headache, you ignore the nagging feeling and try to find a way out of this maze.

As you take in more of your surroundings, you can see a tea table set up in the farthest corner of the rose garden, and you decide to approach it since someone must be coming around soon to eat what appears to be fresh food and hot tea sitting on the table.  The table appears very long, but there are only two red cushioned chairs on each side and one at the head of the table.  Its surface is covered in a red tablecloth and a black and white checkered table runner is draped down the middle of the table.  In front of each seat is a black table setter and a set of white porcelain plates plus a small porcelain tea cup with red rose designs.  Along the middle of the table are towers of small pastries and finger sandwiches, and multiple pots of tea with cream and sugar containers nearby.  You can feel your stomach growl, but you’re too polite to eat someone else’s food without their permission.  You decide to rest in one of the chairs until someone comes along, and you don’t have to wait long because you soon hear frantic voices yelling at each other.

In a panic, you hide yourself under the table, lifting up the tablecloth a bit to see two boys, both dressed in white dress shirts with vests that match the markings on their cheeks.  The orange haired boy who had a red heart on his left eye wore a red vest decorated with hearts of a darker red shade, while the dark blue haired boy who had a black spade on his right eye wore a black vest with gray spades.  They appeared to be bickering as they splattered red paint from the buckets they held on the white roses that decorated gardens with large brushes, yelling at each other that it was all the other’s fault.

“It’s all your fault we’re on rose painting duty, Deuce!” the orange haired boy scowls.

The boy named Deuce just grunts, “Let’s just get this over with already, Ace.”

The duo continued down the rows of roses making crude comments at each other. When they eventually finished painting the white roses a bright red color, they panted and rested on the floor for a bit. Their conversation appeared to have calmed down a bit as they enjoyed some casual talk, but they’re startled into a standing position when another orange haired male who has a red diamond on his right eye appears from one of the maze’s many entrances/exits.

“Have you guys seen Alice around here?  He was supposed to be reading in the library, but now I can’t find him,” the diamond male asks.

Ace and Deuce look at each other before looking at the newcomer and shake their heads.

“Alright, thanks.  Riddle will be coming around soon so you better clean this mess up,” he says before disappearing in the maze again.

The duo quickly pick up their paint buckets and rush out of the maze, arguing the whole way out.  You sigh in relief, glad not to have been caught, but you nearly jump out of your skin when you feel a hand land on your shoulder.  You turn around to see a green haired male with a black clover on his left eye and glasses look at you with a surprised look on his face.

“Alice?  What are you doing here?  You’re supposed to be in the library,” he asks you as he quickly places down the tart he was holding to spin you around and rest both of his hands on your shoulders.

“Ummm,” you mumble, trying to think of an excuse.

“Were you just excited for your first official unbirthday party?” the other asks, a relaxed smile forming on his lips.

Not trusting your mouth, you just nod and hope he doesn’t question you further.  He offers a small laugh at your shy behavior and offers you the seat at the head of the table.  He promises to be back with the rest of the party members in a bit, and gives you a head pat before he departs.

If you were confused earlier, you’re definitely bewildered now.  These people seem to know you, but you have no memory of them.  You felt a sense of familiarity when you first saw them, and their names did ring a vague bell, but you just don’t know where you know them from.  You’re drawn from your thoughts when you hear fanfare in the distance and the sound of stomping feet getting closer to where you are.  You look at the entrance of the maze closest to the table and you see all four of the males you saw earlier walking toward the table with a shorter red haired male inside the little square they formed.  The newcomer has a black heart surrounding his right eye and he holds a black heart staff with red and black designs (Riddle will be wearing his overblot outfit, I’m just too lazy to describe it).  The red haired male walks over to where you’re sitting and gives you a very menacing glare which has you jumping out of his seat and trying to scramble away, only for you to be jerked back and fall into his lap.

“Where do you think you’re going, Alice?” he asks, resting his chin on your shoulder and wrapping his arms around your waist.

You’re so confused as you freeze on instinct, somehow knowing that you do not want to disagree with this person.  The other people gather around the table, the green haired male on your right along with Deuce and the orange haired boy on your left along with Ace.

“Darling, you’re missing your bow,” the one holding you says as he rearranges you on his lap so your back is now resting against the armrest with your legs draped over his lap.  “You know how strict I am about the dress code.”

“I’m sorry?” you apologize, being more concerned with how you ended up in this situation than about a missing bow.

“Trey?” he asks, and the green haired male stands up and approaches you two before handing the red haired boy a black ribbon.

Without any words, the boy ties the ribbon into your hair, gently combing through your locks before sighing in contentment.  You watch him as he looks around the table, the other boys waiting for some kind of que as he scans the garden.

“Red roses, no chestnut tarts, and no coffee, this will do nicely.  I commence this unbirthday to begin!” the red haired boy declares.

The others cheer as they’re allowed to feast on the small treats and drink the hot tea while enjoying each other's company.  You feel left out as they talk about nonsense like a disappearing cat or hedgehog croquet, but you’re startled to attention when the boy whose lap you still sit on offers you a bite of the tart he was eating.

“Here, it’s your favorite.  I made sure that Trey baked it for today,” he smiles at you as he lifts his fork to your mouth.

You try to reach for the fork to feed yourself, but he “tsks” and pulls is away before guiding it to your mouth again.  This time, you hesitantly eat the sweet tart off the fork and chew it slowly to savor the texture and sweetness.

“Got it!” the orange haired male exclaims as he holds up his phone.  “Look at this Riddle!”

“Cater, what have we said about phones at the table?” Riddle, who you realize is the one babying you at the moment, sighs before looking at Cater’s phone.

On the screen of the phone is a picture of Riddle feeding you the bite of tart.  You can see the fear in your eyes reflecting in the image, but you can also see Riddle’s adoring eyes as he focuses on your reaction.  You watch as Cater shows the rest of the table the image, and you can feel your cheeks heat up as they call you “cute” and “adorable”.  The rest of the tea party was filled with these boys offering you small bites of the desserts and sandwiches coupled with quick sips of the sweet tea.  After the food was eaten, the boys chattered for a bit as they cleaned up the table, and when they all stood up to leave, you thought it would be an excellent time to try and escape.  When Riddle was busy helping Trey collect the plates, you slowly crept away from the table, only to let out a startled yelp when you feel arms around your waist and your feet leave the ground.

“Where do you think you’re going, Alice?” Ace laughs as he returns you to the ground, his hands lingering on your waist.

You stutter as you try to come up with an excuse, but Deuce slides up beside Ace and saves you from answering.

“Remember?  You promised to play croquet with us in the afternoon!” Deuce smiles before dragging you and Ace away from the tea party and through the hedge maze.

You can vaguely hear Riddle yell at you guys to stay clean and return on time for dinner, but you're quickly led through the confusing twists and turns of the maze.  You try to memorize how many times you turn left and right, but you quickly lose count after the first couple.  You’re a bit dizzy by the time you arrive at your destination, and you gaze upon the grassy clearing that has two wooden racks in the corner.  The duo pulls you over to the racks and they casually hand you a f/c flamingo and hedge as they each pick one that matches their own hair color.  You gently release your hold on the flamingo’s legs and set it upright as it just looks at you questioningly, and you bring the hedgehog closer to your face, holding it by its scruff.  The creature quickly curls into itself, peering at you with curious eyes, and you look over at Ace and Deuce snickering at your behavior.

“I thought we were playing croquet?” you ask as you hold the hedgehog in your hands.

“We are.  Did you forget how to play?” Ace teases before approaching you and grabbing the flamingo by the ankles and handing him back to you.

You hesitantly take the rigidly straight animal as Deuce places his hedgehog on the ground and demonstrates how to use the flamingo as a croquet mallet and hits the hedgehog through the metal loops on the ground.

“We can just practice hitting the hedgehogs through the hoops if you want,” Deuce comments as Ace prepares to hit his hedgehog.

You nod, not familiar with the rules of the game, but when it’s your turn, you quickly apologize to the animals before placing the hedgehog on the ground.  You hit the hedgehog lightly with the flamingo and Ace chuckles as the hedgehog rolls slowly a few inches before stopping.

“Your hand placement is all wrong,” Deuce tells you before coming up behind you to adjust your hands.

He brings you closer to where you hedgehog rolled to and helps you properly hit it through the nearest loop.  He offers encouragement as you all continue to practice hitting the hedgehogs, and even Ace has to give you some credit that you’ve improved a bit.  After at least an hour of this odd game, in the distance, you can hear a bell ringing, and Ace and Deuce panic a bit saying you’re going to be late as they quickly return the croquet items to their respective racks.  They grab your hand again as they drag you through one of the maze entrances, and after a bit of running, you arrive at the front of a huge castle, decorated with hearts and bricks colored black, white, and red.  It's a bit of an eyesore, but everything here is so brightly and oddly colored so you're not even surprised anymore.

The duo lead you inside, fixing your hair and outfit before guiding you to a large dining room.  The is a curvy shape, looking more like an art installation than a table, and it is piled high with a feast.  From different meats to a variety of vegetables, the food looks like it could feed more than the six people who now sit at the table.  Similar to the tea party, Riddle makes you sit on his lap again as the meal commences, and he does personally feed you a little bit of everything of the surprisingly delicious and flavorful food.  Once again, the boys talk about bizarre things like a jabberwocky and singing flowers, but they also ask how your day has been going.  You think now would be a great time to tell them about your memory issues.  You hope they are as trustworthy as they act.

“Who won the croquet game?” Cater asks as he takes a quick picture of his plate before shoving some mashed potatoes in his mouth.

“Alice’s a little rusty so we just shot them through the hoops,” Ace responds, taking a sip of the sparkling cider in his cup.

“No, I actually forgot,” you interrupt, now a bit shy.  “I’ve forgotten a lot of things actually.”

This causes the table to pause, everyone stops eating and stares at you.

“What do you mean by that?” Trey asks, intertwining his fingers and resting his chin on his hands.

“When I woke up from my nap, I didn’t remember how I got there.  I didn’t recognize any of you guys, but I didn't want to be rude toward your hospitality,” you explain truthfully.

Riddle hums, and you can feel it vibrate in his chest, and he moves a couple strands of your hair out of your face.

“Well, we do have a pesky little creature running around.  Maybe he gave you a memory erasing potion to make you forget about us,” Riddle tells you, adjusting the black bow he tied into your hair earlier.  “We’re your friends, and we only want what’s best for you.”

The way he says those words has your skin crawling, but who else can you trust in this world.  They’ve been so nice to you, feeding you and playing with you, how could you ever reject them?  You nod and thank them for all they’ve done, and you say you hope to regain your memories soon so you can remember all the great times you have spent together.  The rest of dinner continues smoothly, and you're full and a bit sleepy by the time dessert comes out.  You manage to take a few bites of a creamy pudding, but you let out a yawn that has the rest of the table cooing.

“My, my, isn’t someone sleepy,” Riddle mocks before helping you out of his lap.

You can only give him a sleepy nod as he begins to guide you out of the dining room.  The rest of the boys wish you a good night as you leave, and you can only sleepily follow Riddle down a winding hallway.  The interior of the castle is mostly black and white checkered with red rose and heart details, and it has oddly shaped doors with bright colors that don’t match the overall color scheme.  You’re led to a short door, and Riddle has to help you duck under the frame, but the room inside is much more spacious.  The only thing you care about at the moment is getting under the covers of the bed, and once Riddle tucks you in, you pass out, barely feeling the gentle kiss he leaves on your forehead.

~

You slept soundly for a couple of hours, but a loud noise at your window causes you to bolt upright in your bed.  In a panicked frenzy, you look around the room for what could have possibly made that noise.  As your eyes land on the window, you can see two gray paws urgently pounding on the glass.  You hesitantly get out of bed, carefully watching the window as you can now see the paws are attached to a gray cat with blue flames in its ears.  This land is filled with many unfamiliar creatures, so you stop in front of the window but don’t make a move to open it.

“Human!  Let me in!” the cat whines, pausing his banging as he sees you come nearer.

“W-Who are you?” you ask, trying to find a name for the familiar looking animal.

“It’s me, Grim!  We need to get you out of here, they’re crazy!” Grim exclaims, continuing to pound on the glass.

The name Grim rings a bell and you can vaguely remember the cat from your past, but you can’t pinpoint from where.  He seems really invested in getting in and he seems to know you, so he might have the answers that you're looking for.  You unlatch the hook on the window and Grim rushes in before slamming and locking the window.  You watch as he closes the curtains before jumping onto your shoulder, the presence there feeling comfortable and familiar.

“We need to leave,” Grim tells you, his tail twitching as his eyes scan the room.  "They've been chasing me around all day!"

“Why?  Who?  What’s wrong?” you ask, confused by the creature’s frantic behavior.

“Don’t you understand!  They’re trying to keep you here!  We need to defeat the overblots and find Crowley!” he responds urgently.

“Overblots?  Crowley?” you question, turning to look at the cat.

Grim pauses and looks in your eyes, wondering why you’re acting this way, “You know...big scary inky monsters and our birdbrained Headmage?”

You shake your head slowly as Grim’s jaw drops, “Do you even know who I am?”

“You’re Grim,” you respond.

“But you didn’t know until I told you!”  Grim cries as he jumps off your shoulder and starts pacing the floor.  “Do you even know your name!”

“I’m Alice,” you tell him, crouching down to his level.

Grim deadpans and stares right at you in disbelief, “Your name is Y/N, you’re a human who goes to Night Raven College.”

Suddenly, the fog in your mind clears when your name leaves Grim’s mouth, and all your memories flood back into your head.  You remember Night Raven College and all of your friends from the different dorms.  And, most importantly, you remember the school-wide overblot and the Heartslabyul mirror shattering, drawing you inside the dorm’s realm.

“Oh my gosh!  I remember now!” you declare as you grab your head.  “We need to get out of here.”

“I’m glad you finally agree,” Grim smiles as he hops back onto your shoulder and you begin to walk to the door of your room.

You’re about to throw the door open when it's suddenly opened from the other end.

"Alice, are you alright?  We heard you talking to someone," Trey asks as he and Cater, dressed in their pajamas, step into your room.

Grin makes a desperate attempt to hide himself, but Cater quickly points out his disappearing pitchfork tail as he dives under your bed.  Cater quickly grabs the tail and holds up the helpless cat as Trey moves you behind him protectively.

"We've been looking for you all day, you little rascal," Cater mocks as he moves to leave the room, taking a helpless Grim with him.

Of course Grim tried to fit back, and he almost managed to free himself by breathing blue fire, but a heart shaped collar snaps around his neck before he was able to burn anyone.

"I believe that is enough ruckus for one evening," Riddle's voice carries throughout the room as he stands menacingly in the doorway.

Grim looks at you with pleading eyes, and you quickly intervene, pushing past Trey and grabbing Grim from Carter's arms.

"Alice, what do you think you're doing?" Riddle questions, stalking closer to you as you slowly walk backwards.

You hesitate, but you can't stop yourself as you say, "My name is Y/N, I'm not Alice."

Everyone in the room pauses, and it's so silent you could hear a pin drop.  Trey and Cater glance at Riddle who has a frown on his face, but his frown slowly grows into a tight smile as he lets out a small chuckle, somehow scaring you more than his upset face from earlier.

"Luckily for us, your memory got erased by the Dark Mirror when you fell here. But since you've rediscovered yourself, I guess we'll just have to do it again," Riddle says, starting to pace towards you.  "You can either return as our Alice willingly or forcefully."

You're pushed against the wall as Riddle reaches into his pocket and retrieves a glass bottle with a label that says "Drink Me.". The liquid sparkles in the dim lighting, but it's bright coloring makes it look unnatural and threatening.  You quickly scan your surroundings as the three begin to close in on you, pressing you further to the wall.

"Come on, Alice, don't fight this," Trey reassures, speaking in a gentle voice as if talking to a wounded animal.

"Yeah, you're meant to be our Alice," Cater adds with a sick smile.

"Yes, only ours," Riddle says, standing over you, much too close for your comfort.

Rashly, you make a quick dash under Riddle's arm, elbowing Cater away as you make a mad run for the door.  You race down the hallway, trying to recall the way back to the entrance.  However, each time you think you recognize where you are, the hallway distorts and becomes something unfamiliar again.  You rush blindly down the twisting halls as the trio's voice and footsteps get louder behind you.

"Hey!  Watch out!" Grim suddenly exclaims as you bump into a firm chest.

"Alice, what's going on?" Deuce asks as he helps you steady yourself.  "What are you running from?"

"Probably this little critter.  Aren't you the one that Riddle wanted us to hunt down?" Ace comments as he holds Grim by his scruff.

"Let him go!" you exclaim as you try to reach for Grim, but Deuce holds you back.

"So you remember, don't you?" Deuce asks, his eyes darkening as you shrink under his harsh stare and Ace frowns at the news.

"I'm sorry, Alice, but we have to report this to Riddle," Ace tells you as he and Deuce start to guide you back toward the direction you were running from.

You can see Riddle, Trey, and Cater round the corner at the end of the hallway, and they quickly start to run towards you when they spot you with Deuce and Ace.  Not wanting to lose your memories again, you manage to stomp on Deuce's foot, causing him to yelp in surprise and pain, and you snatched Grim from a shocked Ace before attempting to escape again.  You're stopped by cold metal clamping around your neck, blocking your airway.  You fall to your knees as you choke and gag, the collar pressing tighter against your throat. You start to see stars as Riddle crouches down and tips your head up so you can see his satisfied smirk as your vision fades to black.

~

You feel the soft blanket wrapped around you before you even realize you're awake.  Your throat feels dried and your head is pounding.  You open your eyes to find an empty and dimly lit room with some very interesting decorations.  The black and white color scheme hurts your eyes, so you have to look away from the wallpaper.  Only when you turn your head is when you notice a glass of water on your nightstand.  You gladly gulp down the refreshing liquid and rub your throat to soothe the ache you still feel, and you're surprised as your fingers trace over bandages that loosely wrap around your entire neck.  You can't remember what happened, so you slowly unwrap the clean bandages and feel a nasty scar that digs into the flesh of your neck.  It circles around your whole throat, but the wound seems mostly healed.  Suddenly a knock at the door almost causes you to jump out of bed as a group of five entered the room.

"Alice, darling, you're awake," a red haired male exclaims as he rushes to your side and sits beside you.

"Riddle?" you ask, your foggy memory causing you to doubt yourself.

He gives you a soft smile and nods as you turn to the others.  They all smile when they see your eyes light up in recognition at their faces, and they know that the potion only erased what needed to go.

"What happened?" you question as the others sit around on your bed.

"Some monster snuck in and attacked you in the middle of the night," Cater explains, complete with dramatic hand motions.

"But don't worry your pretty little head about it, we already took care of that creature," Trey adds as Cater nods along.

"Luckily for you, I was here to protect you," Ace says proudly, puffing out his chest.

Deuce quickly elbows his friend, "We.  Luckily, we were there to protect you.  It was a group effort."

"Anyways, we're so glad your safe and feeling better," Riddle interrupts before a fight can ensue.  "Plus we even brought a gift for you."

You watch as Riddle pulls out a small red box from his pocket and passes it to you.  You pull off the ribbon and open the box to see a black choker with a golden emblem that matches the one on their armbands. You lift it up to your neck and Riddle helps you fasten it in the back. You let your fingers trace over the smooth and cool gold before looking back at the group.

"Well?  How do I look?" you joke as you showcase your neck and the choker that perfectly covers the scar.

You get a chorus of agreement that it suits you and you look lovely, but after their praises stop, they all lean together to wrap you in a group hug.

"Welcome home, Alice."

[blues824]

Imagen the dorm leaders body swapping with there female demon slayer s/o for a week because of crowley not doing his job .

🦩🌹Like riddle and his mitsuri s/o

Him having to get used to his s/o strength and appetite. Imagine a lovable riddle smiling and a yelling mitsuri about the 810 rules.

🦁😐Leona and his giyuu s/o

Him feeling so frustrated and more sleepy than ever because his s/o body has a natural alarm clock for midnight to fight demons and isn't made for naps .and his s/o being just giyuu imagine cheka coming over and now his *uncle "is willing to play with him instead of sleeping (aperntly giyuu loves children ) .

🐙✨Azul and and his tengen s/o

Him getting used to there high and hearing and stealth .his s/o admiring being in his flamboyant husband's body( bonus and the tweels having a feeld day because they have a insecure tengen and a confident Azul .)

🌞🔥Kalim and his Rengoku s/o

(aperntly cannon Rengoku has hearing problems that's why he is so loud ) him dealing with their hearings problems and having a bigger appetite . Personally wise they are the same but Rengoku is more responsible .

🦚🐗Vil and his inosuke s/o

💀imagine the chaos him having to lock them up because crawling on the ceiling whoud ruen him having rook look after her while he has a feeld day giving her body and makeover and admirering her face (his s/o treatment to eat mud if he throws away her bore mask 💀) .

🎮👼Ildia and his tanjiro s/o

Him passing out or freaking out in their body while his s/o is comforting him singing her family lullaby to him to comfort him and them just gaming even though she is not good at gaming they still try for him .

(bonus for nezuko and ortho are also switched and being as adorable as ever.)

🐲☁️And last but not least Malleus and his muichiro s/o

Imagen everybody in school seing a muichiro that remembers and is polite and a forgetful rude Malleus.

Him and his s/o stil cloud gazing and being the loveable couple they are. while sebek is freaking out. silver fell already asleep wile cloud gazing with them. and lilia is ether filming it or helping solve it because muichiro in boddy Malleus trew a rock at ace.

🌹🦁🐙🌞👑🎮🐉

Y’all, have you seen the art that @reiketsunomizunomegami made?? I don’t tell you guys to do much, but please go support them!!!

Riddle Rosehearts

Mans woke up feeling like he hadn’t eaten in 1000 years. He’s glad that you both stayed in his room overnight because he looked over and saw… him? He was high-key panicking and went to his bathroom to check the mirror and saw… you? He took a deep breath and figured that you both must’ve switched bodies somehow.

He gently woke up and was taken aback by how his voice sounded. You slowly blinked, then you saw yourself looking at you. He waited until you were fully awake to explain your predicament. He guided you through deep breaths, and you came up with a plan. You would tell everyone at breakfast so as to avoid any confusion.

Everyone had different reactions. Trey just about dropped the teapot, Cater’s eyes just went wide and jaw dropped, Ace let out an audible laugh (thinking you were joking at first), and Deuce just froze. Riddle - in your body - explained it like this: treat you (him in your body) like the dorm head and treat him (you in his body) like his significant other.

It was one weird first day because Trey had to see if your food preferences remained the same depending on the person or depending on the body that person was in. Cater totally vlogged this whole thing. Ace had to watch his back even more because you were one of the people he could rant to. Deuce was trying his best as well, but he fared better than Ace.

Overall, a solid 7/10 week. Riddle might not have been able to behead anyone, but he was able to put them in a very easy chokehold. And by easy, I mean they almost passed out due to lack of oxygen. Ace can concur that he prefers collars to being choked (don’t take that out of context).

Leona Kingscholar

You better believe that he was angry that he woke up before the sun rose for no reason other than his body told him to. He decided that he would try to go back to sleep and went to pull you back in when he noticed that he was pulling himself in… oh, shit. 

He shook you awake and you had a bit of a shocked face when you saw yourself waking you up. However, it’s not the weirdest thing you’ve seen. You were still quite sleepy since Leona’s physical body was always exhausted, so you quickly came up with a plan where you would pretend to be each other for however long this lasted.

At breakfast, it was a very weird experience. Ruggie most definitely noticed something was wrong when you said ‘thank you’ after he gave you your food. You mentally cursed yourself and just dismissed yourself to eat it in your room, but before you went you told yourself (Leona in your body) to go with you in the most I-don’t-care way possible.

It was a very difficult first day because Leona’s brother decided to drop off Cheka for the day. You (in Leona’s body) were actively playing with the young cub because you personally loved children. The child noticed this, but didn’t mind because maybe his uncle changed?

Overall, 5/10. I would’ve said it was a 4, but you finally got to relax from the stress of being a demon slayer. You got to know what it was like to sleep in and be catered to. Plus, the food Ruggie made was amazing. However, Leona wasn’t really acting like you a lot.

Azul Ashengrotto

When you both woke up at 6 in the morning, you knew that Azul wouldn’t want to get up immediately. You would normally give him a kiss on the forehead to get his day started, but when you went to do that you screamed. You saw your own body lying next to you.

After hearing your scream, your boyfriend looked around and saw himself on the floor. He was about to go back to sleep before he did a double take and started panicking when he realized he wasn’t dreaming. You led him through breathing and you came up with an idea. You would tell Jade and Floyd, but ask them to not inform anyone else.

Floyd was on the floor laughing while Jade choked back a few chuckles. The 4 of you decided that any appointments for any contract were to be rescheduled, and the excuse was that you got sick and Azul’s taking care of you. Jade got accustomed to it very quickly, but Floyd was having one hell of a time trying to get everything straight.

It wasn't too bad of a first day, and you kept this plan for however long was necessary. Since Crowley already knew, he informed the teachers so there wasn’t any mix up in class. However, your personalities kind of clashed around other students because you as a person were very confident and Azul’s very insecure.

Overall, 8/10. Nothing really changed in the wake up schedule, but everyone had to deal with a very flamboyant octopus and a very insecure demon slayer. Usually, you were the one comforting Azul, but to everyone else Azul (you in his body) was comforting you (him in your body).

Kalim Al-Asim

He probably woke up before you because your body was acclimated to waking up at 5:30 am on the dot. He was about to go to sleep when he wanted to give you a kiss on the forehead. That’s when he realized that it was his body that was lying next to him and not yours.

He shook you awake and you seemed surprised to see yourself waking you up. It’s one of the few times where you’ve seen Kalim (who’s in your body) panic. After you calmed him down, you decided to catch a few more hours of sleep and tell Jamil once breakfast was served.

Speaking of, you always loved to help the Vice Housewarden in preparing food. So when he sees Kalim (you) marching into the kitchen, he drops the spoon he was holding. You took this chance to explain that you and Kalim had somehow switched bodies overnight. Good thing it was Winter Break and no classes were being held.

For the first day, it wasn’t all that bad. Kalim (in your body) are a lot more than he normally would because of your body’s appetite, and everyone saw a more responsible Kalim (you in his body). You both kept up the high energy, so no one suspected anything.

Overall, another 7/10. Kalim had a lot of strength being in your body, so he wreaked more havoc. Nothing was horribly damaged except for Jamil’s sanity. What’s worse is that Kalim found out about your inability to hear well and he decided that you should receive more assistance once you switch back.

Vil Schoenheit

You both wake up at a very early time to get the day started. You took one look at each other and Vil screamed while you lunged at him. You thought some impostor had taken over your body when you looked in one of his mirrors. You got off of him and apologized. 

You realized that this was a matter that needed a plan, so you sat down. You could be cooperative when you needed to be. You would inform the teachers about the swap and then inform Rook about your predicament. 

The hunter had to admit that he did not see that coming. Rook stood there with his eyes widened and jaw dropped. You (Vil in your body) briefed him on the plan while you took to wobbling in the heels that Vil prided himself in being able to wear. As flexible as you were, you thought you would break an ankle.

For the first day, it was horrible for the both of you. You had informed the teachers of what happened, but it was still difficult. Vil loved performing skincare on his (your) face because you always struggled against him, but it stresses him out because you would threaten him by picking up some mud and holding it to your (his) face.

Overall, a 3/10 week. This was stressful for the both of you. Vil’s body was not used to wielding two nichirin blades, so you suffered some difficulty in training. Vil, however, enjoyed the flexibility your body offered and so he did a lot of yoga.

Idia Shroud

When he wakes up for whatever reason at 5 am, he’s confused. Didn’t he go to sleep 2 hours ago? He decides to look over when he sees his own flaming hair… on his own body. He screamed because he realized that it was his body he was looking at and not yours. 

His screaming most definitely woke you up, and you panicked a bit because it was you that was screaming, or something that was inhabiting your body. You looked down and saw your boyfriend’s jacket. You also noticed your new hair. You calmed Idia (in your body), and told him the plan. You would tell the teachers and Ortho about your situation and go from there.

Ortho was shocked. His brother swapped bodies with you? How did this happen? Were you cursed? How long is this going to last? His reaction, although apparent, is very logical. He will go through the internet database to see if there is any solution for your predicament.

For the first day, it wasn’t too horrible. The teachers excused you from your classes since nothing too important was going on. You and Idia spent the day in his room. He taught you how to play a few video games and even though you were horrible, you still tried.

Overall, I would give it an 8/10. It was a pretty chill week. Even though you were in different years, your teachers allowed you to attend classes virtually. It was a very chill week, but it was still weird to cuddle with your boyfriend who was in your own body.

Malleus Draconia

You both woke up at a very early time, but when you looked at each other to bid each other a good morning, both your eyes widened. It was most definitely an unforeseen surprise, but neither of you panicked over it. It was just a small inconvenience that could easily be worked around.

You both decided that it would be beneficial to tell the others as well as the professors. Lilia couldn’t help but giggle at how funny this whole thing was. Silver was shocked, but he didn’t mind addressing you both the opposite names of what he was used to. Sebek screamed and started to accuse you of cursing the Prince.

The teachers had dismissed you both from class for the day to get acclimated to this swap, so you both spent the most of it cloud gazing and planning for the upcoming few days. You see, your head was always up in the clouds, but when someone brought you back down you got angry. Malleus was very down-to-earth, but open-minded.

The first day was pretty chill. Lilia was helping the both of you try and find a solution to this problem, Silver spent the day sleeping like he always does, but Sebek was on-edge. He was used to always screaming at you to get your head out of the clouds, but now you were in Malleus’ body and he felt like he was being disrespectful to the young Lord.

Overall, 9/10. Even though you (in Malleus’ body) threw a rock at Ace for letting his mouth run, it was satisfying for the both of you. Lilia was rolling on the floor laughing while Sebek was telling you off. Malleus (in your body) defended you.

[xamaxenta]

god i LOOOVEEE feral animal asl its so true. they truly could not care less about "laws" or "public decency" whatever that is. the straw hats manage with just luffy but the whitebeards sometimes have to deal with TWO of them? at ONCE? theyre used to ace because sometimes pirates are just like that, pops has seen plenty of them and hes just happy to see that nasty stray cat finally come inside to relax and he simply counts the shredded furniture as a Personality Trait to keep the house interesting. but then sabo rolls up and everyone at first chuckles and says oh well at least one of them has manners. except. sabo is secretly 4 ravenous feral dogs wearing a top hat. sabo is polite until the food comes out when he starts snarling and snapping (he and ace start wrestling on the floor BITING each other for a single chicken wing) or when he gets the Predator Stare and anyone who crosses within view of it feels their hair stand completely on end. marco has no particularly strong feelings about sabo when they first meet aside from "ace loves him, hes probably a freak, and he looks ridiculous dressed like that (kinda cute)" except. sometimes ace and sabo make noises at each other that are so far from human language they sound like an entirely different species. he swore one time he saw ace come up and just Lick the side of sabos face, who bit his whole ear in return like they were discussing the weather. there is something Wrong with sabo for sure. but its not until he and ace are bickering at the table and thatch throws a spare chunk of raw meat trimmings at ace (because theyve learned ace can and will eat raw meat, even the fatty or gristly bits, and as much as marco insists its not good At All for his health, the crew likes feeding large and dangerous animals) and as soon as the meat hits the table both ace and sabo go perfevtly still for roughly half a second before SABO lunges forward and grabs it in his TEETH while ace starts pummeling him for it. the top hat goes flying, theres the sound of the galley bench screeching across the floor and boots and fingernails scrabbling across the wood and the Chief Of Staff of the Revolutionary Army runs, hissing, on all fucking fours, with a chunk of raw meat in his mouth up the rigging while ace quite literally snaps at his heels. theres distant snarling and growling. sounds of tearing fabric. screams of shock and horror from the crew on the deck. and it is in that moment marco comes to the devastating realization that he is unfortunately attracted to sabo, and that his taste in men simply cannot be salvaged

Sabo standing there all prim and proper, all neatly buttoned up and his accent has this crisp edge to it like a winters morning flinty with fresh snow or perhaps new parchment waiting to be scored by the writers pen

And then Ace shows up and the mask slips abruptly something wicked spills past the pleasantries and hes kinda like fangs bared growly in a way only animals get with each other

Everyone up until this point knows the basic history Ace loves this guy, Sabo to put it bluntly would die to protect Ace with his life, they share a childhood the jungle that fucking jungle, this means Sabos also a beast but what kind theyre hoping if Ace is anything to go by he would be the same

Except Sabo brings out a monster in Ace and clearly hes so much worse, the raw meat spectacle and then the poor crowsnest lookout scrambling down trembling cold sweat like what the fuck happened to those two?

Eventually they comeback down sabos clothes are in tatters and Ace is just naked lmao theyre blood smeared and everyone hopes its the meat but its wishful thinking because thats way too much blood for a fist sized piece of flank steak

Marco unfortunately realises he has a type

Sabo pins him with a baleful pale eyed stare, those freaky mismatched eyes of his locked the fuck on, someone whos blind in one eye really shouldnt have that sort of focus, Ace headbutts him nippy bitey for being ignored but

Follows Sabos gaze and smiles

[hisui555]

Hazbin Hotel thoughts : Foils 2

(Foils 1 here)

(Foils 3 here)

(Foils 4 here)

Masterpost here.

Crawling back out of my cave because my stupid brain won't let me rest. Synapses fired all night yesterday, I'm sure there's some structural damage in the front lobe from all the fireworks going off and bouncing around the walls of my skull, but mostly color me impressed that my asocial side actually got cowed into submission, by PRODUCTIVITY of all things, holy shit, why can't it happen for job interviews ?

...Anyway.

Aaaand without transition I would like to talk about Rosie VS Carmilla (I'm putting a "VS" so that it's clearer from a couple/team, see Foils 1), especially around Ep 7, which has just this magnificent parallel between them, respectively coaching Charlie and Vaggie (yes, TV Tropes already covered that one, shhhh, don't tell my spark of productivity, it might disappear and play dead for months again). For the A plot, we have Charlie, led by Alastor, who's going to Cannibal Town to meet Rosie and ask for reinforcements - basically getting an army of cannibals to lend a hand, even if it's not theirs and has some bite marks on it. For the B plot, on the other side, Vaggie goes to Carmilla to learn how angels can be killed, and from that on asking her for the appropriate weapons. On both sides, the two girls learn about confidence and fighting for the right thing - Charlie grows into the leader she's capable of being, Vaggie steels her resolve and grows her wings back.

What's interesting about those parallel scenes is how much Rosie and Carmilla contrast each other, and are similar to Charlie and Vaggie respectively yet have differences : again, a square of foils. But let's talk about the (seemingly) older women first.

When we stumble upon Cannibal Town, it has a very gentlemanly aesthetic, streets are clean, people are well-dressed and polite, and if you forget the minor detail of cough eating people cough, they are quite the amicable bunch - something Charlie herself comments on, how "surprisingly nice" it is. The second we meet Rosie, we understand why : she's a councelor, the unofficial mayor and of course the Overlord representing them all. She's a faultless host (again, if you don't care much about her specific ingredients), very accomodating, and doesn't rebut Charlie right away despite her enormous demand. In fact, once Alastor chimes in that her citizens would be not only well-armed but also well-fed, she's happy to give it a go and coach Charlie on how to convince them (well, for the most part. Susan.), showing she knows her community very well. Rosie is shown as more of a knowledge broker : she trades information to Alastor in exchange of favors, seems to know things about him that even our deer friend doesn't ("A what now ?" *Pats your shoulder in ace, buddy. You'll get the hang of it.*), and overall comes off as very well-informed.

In the meantime, we follow Vaggie to the industrial side of the Pentagram, where it seems to be more smoke, steel and craft than rural, pictoresque town. Carmilla doesn't let Vaggie enter until she threatens to spill the beans out in plain view of the street, and once she's inside, Carmilla is immediately verbally hostile and commandeering the whole speech ("Ninety seconds."), rebutting each of Vaggie's claims with clinical precision - rightfully countering that she doesn't want to bring the trouble to her doorstep, and put her loved ones (+ workers) in danger, to which Vaggie counters (also rightfully) that if the Hotel fails to defend itself, Carmilla might still kiss her pointy shoes goodbye. Once the time is up, Carmilla attacks, but it's quickly blatant that she's actually stealthily coaching Vaggie into fighting better, both physically and mentally. She's ruthless, brutal, and elegant, but not with the same elegance as Rosie : Rosie's charm and mannierisms are day-to-day, yet she's a proud cannibal, so her elegance hides a very carnal nature by the way of eating human flesh (even if she wraps it in pretty ribbons in a candy box), while Carmilla's cold and sharp demeanor hides her graceful but efficient fighting style - I mean, have you seen those twirls and acrobatics ? Hot dang, she's cool. Rosie is a knowledge broker that knows damn well how to use her information, Carmilla is a weapons dealer that knows damn well how to use her weapons : no wonder she arms herself (and her daughters) first. Carmilla, on the surface, rejects Vaggie's deal, but after a few moments, we see that she's turning it into her own way of helping.

Now we arrive to the two main songs, Out For Love and Ready For This, who are almost back-to-back. Charlie has had her moment with Rosie, who genuinely helped her through her personal problems and her moment of uncertainty concerning Vaggie's secret, and it's time for the big rallying song. And, Charlie, you're cute and all, but sightseeing and camaraderie aren't the things cannibals are interested in - they might have a child's heart (somewhere in a jar behind a desk), but EATING is where it's at ! Good thing Alastor chimed in, hm ? Which kinda rebounds on his private part of the song with Rosie ("Stick with her, you'll be on the winning side !") : their motivations are more selfish than we think. Rosie is genuinely kind and empathetic, but not altruist : doing the Princess of Hell a solid might be a real advantage in the long run, especially for someone like her who trades in favors. On the other side, Carmilla has it out for her own reasons right away, but does a selfless move by teaching Vaggie and lending the weapons : while she doesn't directly stick her neck out, she still helps from the shadows. Her main motive is to protect her loved ones and avoid bloodshed, while Rosie's and the cannibals are to get their belly full and gain political advantage.

It's really like an hourglass between the two : Rosie hears Charlie (and Alastor) out and accepts to help but actually for selfish reason, actively and directly helping Charlie to assert herself, talking her through therapy and words - a language Charlie is very receptive to - teaching her confidence and leadership (something Vaggie already has). Carmilla on her side rebukes Vaggie but actually for more selfless (even if personal) reasons, indirectly (but still actively) helps her to rekindle with her own emotions and be honest with herself (something Charlie already is), all that through physical training and fighting - a language Vaggie knows quite well. You'd think they have the names of the songs crossed and mixed up, yet they fit perfectly : Charlie needs to be Ready For This and finally face physical confrontation, while Vaggie needs to be Out For Love and honest with her feelings and past. They both complement each other.

The smiles Carmilla and Rosie also give at the news are contrasting : Carmilla hears the news and smiles a little smile, to herself, looking proud that it worked, and proud of her 'student'. Rosie on her side has a charming, calculated, wide smile that seems to spell out 'now there we go' and 'ooh, this was nothing, darling' more than 'good job', complete with a cup of tea. It's like she smiles more at the camera than out of genuine pride, unlike Carmilla who just smiles to herself. You'd think tough-as-nails Carmilla would be the last person to teach people to fight for love, yet here we are, while ladylike elegant Rosie, who does show genuine understanding and kindness, is also planning to use Charlie for her own gain.

Wrapping this up, Charlie & Vaggie VS Carmilla & Rosie : Carmilla is kind of a more experienced version of Vaggie (a figther, determined, devoted to her loved ones), with Charlie's core ideas (love, compassion, avoiding fights) while Rosie is a more experienced version of Charlie (connections, empathy, people person) with Vaggie's way of thinking (strategic, knowledgeable, prepared).

Like Vaggie, Carmilla is a fierce fighter that you don't want to piss off, with people to protect, an expert in dealing with weapons (cherry on top : both about angelic steel), even physically they're quite alike : long white hair (especially when Carmilla lets hers go in response to Vaggie's grumbling), similar tone of skin, palette in dark grays and white mostly (Vaggie has more pink where Carmilla has black), both are also Hispanic. They already (unknowingly) share a duet in Whatever It Takes, with personal reasons very close to one another. Carmilla is the perfect combination of Charlie's ideals and Vaggie's realism, leaning more towards Vaggie's side as a fighter. They also look the less relatively demonic, past some features (like Carmilla's oversized arms).

Rosie on her side looks like an upper-class lady who is the leader of her town and an Overlord (mirroring Charlie being a princess and the founder of the Hotel), sharing some reds in their respective palettes (even if Charlie's is more solid red and Rosie's burgundy), pale hair and a very affable, accomodating demeanor. Rosie is the perfect mix of Vaggie's pragmatism and Charlie's kindness, leaning towards Charlie's side as an informator and councelor. They naturally stand in the spotlight, one way or another, and guide people through their problems. They're also both more "demonic" : Charlie is the literal Princess of Hell and hellborn demon, while Rosie has notable very sharp teeth, pitch black eyes (like the town citizens) and... what was it again...? oh right ! Eats people.

(Don't worry, I'm not always a smartass : sometimes I'm asleep.)

That went longer than expected (...as always), but, well, enjoy. Skyscrapers like those are useful when you have time to kill. I might need to consider doing a masterpost for those... might be more practical for those crazy enough to want to read all of my inane rambling (boredom is such a pain, right ?)

Hope you enjoyed.

Again, Masterpost here.

[haikyuufanficwriting]

Chapter 5: Tendou

Prompt: (Character) annoying Reader until they go on a date. Character: Tendou ___________

Maybe this was an unpopular opinion, but you despised Tendou Satori. With your entire being, you disliked him.

Whether it was his mannerisms, his appearance, personality or simply anything he did, it annoyed you to no end. Now, maybe you were being a little harsh, but in your defense, it wasn’t like he even tried to be nice to you. Its been mutual ever since you met.

Being a first year at Shiratorizawa Academy, not to mention being the Ushiwaka’s younger sister, you were introduced to the volleyball team quite quickly. You remember being a nervous wreck walking to the gym. You needed to be on your best behavior. You didn’t want to disappoint Wakatoshi, plus you had a reputation to uphold. You were known as the smart one, the kind one, the one that was always there to lend a hand. You had spent your entire middle school career, working for that reputation. Being under what you could only assume was the biggest shadow, and the enormous shoes to fill that were left by Wakatoshi, you worked long and hard, never slipping up, being the perfectionist and goody-two shoes everyone thought you were. What you like to think you are. Now that you were finally in high school, you had to work all over again, and much harder.

But you were nothing but determined.

Though, when it came to meet the team, it seemed there was nothing to be nervous about. The group of boys were both eager and curious to see what you were like, considering there only point of reference of your family was the stoic ace himself. Not that he gave much away. Surprisingly, while your brother was known for his emotionless nature, you were not. In fact, you could express your emotions easily and freely, to his team’s surprise. Meeting Wakatoshi’s teammates was actually really fun, and you enjoyed conversing with them. They were all kind and respectful, and even managed to make you laugh a couple times.

Then you saw him.

“Eh, Wakatoshi-kun, this is your sister? She’s a lot smaller and scrawnier than I imagined.” You see a tall skinny boy with spiky red hair, leaning his arm on your brothers’ shoulder. Eyes wide and full of amusement, looking you up and down. You could see the whole team flinch at his bluntness, with the third years already looking tired. You grit your teeth subconsciously.

Like you should talk, you literal twig.

You pay no mind to the insult, giving him a polite laugh and a bright smile. “Yes, I suppose I am a little on the smaller side.” You hide your annoyance flawlessly. At that, you see him purse his lips, eyes searching your face. The gesture does manage to annoy you further, but you still pretend to turn a blind eye.

What’s this guys problem?

“Since everyone has already introduced themselves, I assume you’re Tendou. I’ve heard a lot about you from onii-san. Pleasure to meet you, Tendou-senpai.” You outstretch your hand in courtesy, except you really didn’t want to shake this man’s hand. But the amusement had come back full force, and he took your hand almost eagerly. His rough, calloused, giant hand basically ate yours. And he noticed too.

“Wow, your hands are tiny! Wakatoshi-kun, are you sure your sister is eating?”

Yup, its official. You don’t like him now. You try to laugh it off, obviously sensing the team’s discomfort from Tendou’s comments. He’s actually starting to get to you now, because even Wakatoshi could hear the strain in your laugh, turning his head slightly in confusion.

Yeah, your brother had the social skills of a potato.

Yet, you see your brother nod in agreement. “Yes, she is quite petite. I often tell her she should eat more.” Then Wakatoshi turns to you. “You should eat more, (Name).”

You felt your cheeks flush. Did he really have to act like a worried aunt in front of his team? You do nothing but nod, mumbling about having a large meal at lunch, trying your best to get the conversation off you and onto some other topic, but Tendou is relentless. You feel your eye twitch.

“So, do you play volleyball like our Wakatoshi-kun?” You give nothing but a respectful smile, doing everything you can to not show your distaste. “Ah, sadly no. I spend way too much time reading or studying to be on a sport team.” You laugh, rubbing the back of your neck.

Semi, one of the third years, tries to pick up the shattered pieces that were left of the conversation. “So, what do you like to-”

“Ah, just as well. With Wakatoshi-kun over here being a prodigy, I doubt anyone would notice you.” There’s a pause. In that moment, all you see Tendou. You see his stupid smirk, leering over you. His eyes wide and searching your face, looking for something, anything.

Looking for a crack in your façade.

You feel your nail dig into your palms.

“I’m sure I’d find some way Tendou-senpai. After all, if you did it, it shouldn’t be that hard.” You don’t even know what you’re saying until you’ve said it. You look up at them in surprise, and they you. Your light and kind voice had slightly dampened, frustrated undertones shining through in your moment of weakness. You look to Tendou, expecting to see a somewhat offended, or even surprised face, but all you see is satisfaction.

You realize he egged you on, on purpose.

You don’t even have time to correct your statement, before you hear a loud, obnoxious laugh.

“Wow, (Name)-chan sure is feisty, huh?” Tendou turns to Wakatoshi, and all Wakatoshi does is nod confusedly. By now the rest of team has told Tendou to knock it off already, and to give you some space to breath. You try to ease their worries by waving them off, telling them it was fine, but really it was anything but.

How could a guy you’ve known for five minutes, break you so easily? All the years you’ve spent training, perfecting yourself, shattered within a five-metre vicinity of this man.

Well, one thing is for sure; you needed out now. You pretend to just notice the clock on the gym wall.

“Ah! It appears I’ve overstayed my welcome. I’ll have to head home now. It was a pleasure meeting all of you.” You say, making eyes with everyone except Tendou, who huffs out a tiny laugh. You bow in respect before getting your stuff, you hear footsteps behind you.

“I will walk you home. It is too late for you to be walking alone.” Wakatoshi says, picking up his items to follow you. You stop him immediately. You knew that the relationship between your brother and mother was incredibly strained, has been ever since the divorce, and you really didn’t want to put your brother in any uncomfortable situations. “Onii-san, I wouldn’t want to bother you. You have class in the morning. Plus, you told me you have a test coming up. You shouldn’t waste your time. I’ll be fine.”

You place a hand on his arm, comforting. Still, he doesn’t relent. You see from behind Wakatoshi that Tendou is still standing there, eyes only on you. His expression was calm, calculating, as he studied your face. You make a point to not look at him.

“I don’t feel comfortable letting you walk by yourself.” At this point, you’re willing to just agree and let him come. You just wanted to leave, because, though you were willing yourself to not make direct eye contact, out of the corner of eye, you could still see Tendou, watching the whole ordeal. It makes the back of your neck hairs stand on end.

“I’ll walk her.” Oh, you so badly want to scream ‘Over my dead body!’. But, you manage to compose yourself, looking over and trying to immediately shut down the situation.

“Like I said there’s no need-”

“It’s not a problem for me. I have no tests coming up and I have free period tomorrow morning.” Tendou gives you a smirk, and it only stirs up anger. He knew exactly what he was doing, from the moment you met, he wanted something. But what it was you weren’t sure. You hadn’t even done anything to him. You always tried to be on your best behavior, put on your brightest smile, and kindest laugh for everyone you meet, but him…

You’d rather dig your own grave and bury yourself.

You were about to say no, when Wakatoshi speaks up for you. “That would be great. Thank you, Tendou.” Your rejection immediately dies in your throat. You try one last ditch attempt to get out. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to bother you.” You say sweetly, but with the undertones of ‘back off and leave me alone’ which is something you know he understood fully. He leans closer to get down to your height, still with the biggest smile.

“No, please. It would be my pleasure.” He holds your eyes before walking to the doors of the gym. “Come on then, Kogara-chan*. Wouldn’t want your parents to get worried.” You feel your hands tighten around your bag at the nickname, but your face showed nothing but gratefulness as you turned to your brother and said your goodbyes.

Well, if he wasn’t in your bad book before, he definitely was in it now.

He managed to get you completely at his mercy, and you could do nothing but curse inwardly and follow him outside, starting your walk to your house.

It started out quiet at first, with you hearing nothing but the sound of his and your footsteps. After about five minutes in, you were starting to think he wouldn’t say anything at all.

But you wished too soon.

“Is it not tiring?” You pause, before looking back at him, with an innocent and confused look on your face.

“What do you mean, Tendou-senpai?” He clicks his tongue in annoyance.

“Ya can drop the act, Kogara-chan. No one’s here.” You felt yourself freeze, but you compose yourself quickly. But not quick enough, you could tell he saw your tiny slip up. Still, you refuse to break. “I’m sorry I’m not sure I follow, senpai. What act?”

“The innocent goody-goody act. I don’t know how everyone else hasn’t seen right through it, it’s fake as hell.” He laughs a little, making annoyance flow through your veins.

“You’ve never even met me before; you have no idea what my personality is like.” Your voice has dropped a couple octaves than the higher, sweeter one you’ve used for years. It almost feels weird. You see him smirk once more. God, if you weren’t already tired of it.

“Call it a guess.” You reached your street. Just a couple more minutes, just a couple more then you’ll be home free. You don’t even think about what your saying, blurting out your thoughts as all you’re focused on is getting away from him.

“Alright, what does it matter to you that it is?” You hear him hum.

“Ah, so it is? Thanks for clearing it up! I’d really rather prefer if you weren’t like that. It was so annoying!” Tendou’s teasing voice rings in your ear, letting you revel in what you just did.

This bastard.

In your tiny moment of weakness, the devil himself managed to wean his way right into your dirtiest secret. Your biggest insecurity. The one thing you managed to keep from everyone, even your family, Tendou managed to find out in less than hour.

You stopped walking. Letting the cool air blow harshly against your face, but you can’t even feel it. You feel so many emotions, so much hatred for the middle blocker, that any kind of rational thinking is thrown out of the realm of possibility.

“Fuck it.” You mutter, head down, refusing to look at him. You hear Tendou’s footsteps stop as well at your voice and turns around. But to his surprise, you’re suddenly in front of him, grabbing his hoodie and pushing him against a random pole that littered the streets. For the first time in the evening, he looks legitimately surprised. You’re a lot stronger than you look, that’s for sure.

“Listen here, you fucker. I don’t know what I did to deserve the shit you’ve been giving all night, considering that I’ve never even met you until today, but I’ve worked too hard to have my reputation thrown down the shithole from some red-haired lizard. So, what do you want? Money? Some clothes? Anything to say that you’ll keep the stupid mouth of yours shut.” You growl. Now, you really didn’t want to give this asshole anything, but you knew what kind of status he had.

Being a third year, relatively smart, and on the volleyball team gave him a level much higher than yours. In this school, it would be his word against yours, and one tiny rumor could definitely end the image you’ve made for yourself. And you can’t let that happen.

Not after you’ve worked so hard.  

Tendou manages to shake his surprised expression quite quickly, turning it to his usual asshole smirk. What you would give to be able to smack it off him…

He takes the hand that’s gripping his hoodie and pulls it off him, only to pull your arm to bring you a lot closer than you’d like. But you stand your ground; you wouldn’t fall for his antic any longer.

You refuse too.

“My, my… I mean I thought you’d be a little different, but you’re like a new person. I’m impressed…” He purrs out the last bit, and it takes everything in you not to cringe. You manage to keep your face passive.

“Cut the bullshit. What is it that you want? Tell me and then we go our separate ways.” You hiss, voice filled with venom. He chuckles, before tightening his grip slightly, he pulls you even closer and whispers:

“Go out with me.”

Out of all the things you thought you were going to hear, that sentence was probably in the bottom thousands.

Eh, make it hundred thousands.

You convince yourself that it’s the surprise that makes you flush, before whipping your hand away from him and taking a couple steps back. “Wh-what?” You stutter, which only makes him snort before howling in laughter. You half expect him to go ‘sike!’ halfway through it, but when his laughter dies down, he doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t explain himself, but just leaves that heavy sentence in the air. You stand there awkwardly, going over the sentences over and over in your head.

“Go out with me.” I mean what? You’ve never even been on a date much less a boyfriend. And you sure as hell wouldn’t want your first to be him.

Tendou stretches, before checking the watch on his wrist. “Wow, it’s later than I thought. I’ll have to leave you here, I guess. I’m sure you’re more than capable then walking yourself the rest of the way.” His stretched arm goes to pat your head, which makes you freeze. You don’t even have time to swat his hand away before he removes it himself and starts walking back to the academy. You watch his retreat still too shocked to say anything else. Then, once more, he stops, and turns to you.

“I’ll see you later, Kogara-chan~” His voice turns sing-songy, at the end, giving you a wink, then turning back and walking away. Leaving you in the dark street. Completely and totally baffled.

You could practically hear your image flushing down the toilet.

[horce-divorce]

And ykw, in re: queer people eating up terf rhetoric uncritically, I'm STILL reeling about how, when I came back from Twitter, i was seeing all these ads for Folx and Plume on Tumblr, and the ONLY comments and reblogs were attacks, things saying "this company exploits trans people, don't use it."

Plume is a company run BY trans people. It's a bunch of trans doctors who will prescribe you HRT via telehealth and do all your labs, refills, needles etc for like $99/mo (last time i checked). Folx is the same but a bit cheaper and operates in different states, in an attempt to cover gaps in trans Healthcare coverage.

As soon as I started blocking terfs I stopped seeing those comments. But I also stopped seeing anyone talking about Folx or Plume. Point blank. I dont even get the ads for it anymore. It's like everyone just absorbed the idea that they're "preying on trans people" by giving you HRT, which is TERF 101 LEVEL SHIT. None of you even fucking Googled it!!!

Like honestly I'm pretty bitter about this whole thing, and the fact that I've not yet seen ANYONE talk about this or own up to it in the 2-3 years since???? Folx and Plume are both still around. I've had to consider using them multiple times even in relatively "safe" states like Michigan, because sure, your insurance might cover HRT, but good luck finding a doctor who will prescribe it, because PP doesn't do HRT there, there's like 4 doctors in the whole state that will, and they will be like a 6 hour drive from you if they're accepting patients at all.

So like idk especially with all the absolute HORSE SHIT that you guys like to put TPOC, intersex ppl, asexual ppl, and trans men thru at the mere SUGGESTION of terfs, I just have to wonder how many of you are STILL repeating word-for-word terf rhetoric without unpacking it. (I mean, in addition to those of you I SEE STILL DOING THIS.) You may be critically/outwardly against TERFS, but if you don't actually take ANY time to block them, or even recognize and challenge their rhetoric in your head, you arent doing enough to avoid them. Cause you're STILL repeating it and you look foolish, WHICH WAS THE GOAL, BTW. To make queer (esp trans) people look foolish and disorganized, and to drive a wedge between our communities about struggles we actually fucking share.

Another example: I've said it before and I'll say it fucking again, "trans men can't speak to being oppressed bc you are MEN and therefore have Male Privilege, SILENCE, OPPRESSOR," is the SAME ARGUMENT from a few years ago about "ace and aro ppl aren't queer bc you don't experience sexual attraction, you can't be oppressed for something you dont experience, therefore, silence, cishet!" Signed, an asexual gnc transmasc. This was another instance of queerphobic, divisive terf rhetoric getting passed around uncritically for YEARS. (I can't speak to this bc I'm not a lesbian but it does feel eerily similar to "bi lesbians are harmful to our community" as well, that whole, "anything that could even feasibly one day sorta be tied back to Men means its #unsafe" vibe, but also a very, "anyone queerer than a cis political lesbian is a threat to our community," vibe, which feels r/dfemmy to me.)

I see people TALK about the dark ages of asexual hatred on this site, but I dont see a lot of you dissecting how that happened or how to prevent it from happening again to other communities. I see people talking about "wow everyone on this site sure was unhinged about asexual ppl" and then turning around and saying shit like "transandrophobia truthers." fucking look at yourselves.

[lawluaficionado]

HIII I just want to say I really love your Lawlu baby. It brings me so much joy and I read it 6 time already haha. Do you have more ideas for this amazing AU? Thanks you :D

I have no idea when this is from, I'm sorry!!

Thank you so much for reading and liking my AU!

==========

~Lawlu Baby Things~

Well, they've since been named Cora and Ace.

Cora being older than Ace meant a few things. One, he had to make sure the dummy didn't get hurt. Two, he needed to share his food with him sometimes. Three, and he had to share his parents.

That was lotsa responsibility! He falls a lot! He doesn't want to share his food, especially the yummy meat! And, he wants attention too!

His daddy had said he was cranky because he had a temperature. And Cora thinks it's true, because his daddy is a doctor that fixes some people. His other papa was holding him while they sat on the rocking chair. "Cora, we can't be getting sick now, we have an adventure to go on tomorrow!"

"Gotta take Ace too?" he mumbles.

His daddy laughs, "Yes. Don't be so mad a him, it was an accident."

"He sneezed on me, his fault I have boogers now," he glares at his parents, but especially hard at the sleeping one-year-old in his dad's arms.

"You know, he gets that anger and spritefullness from you," his papa laughs, quite loudly too.

"It's spitefulness, Luffy."

=-=-=-=-=-=

Sanji loves babysitting his godsons, he does...truly. But when he needs to take care of them AND be in the same room as Zoro...well he'd rather eat unseasoned food.

"Could you please help me entertain them, I'm trying to cook."

"But this is entertaining," Zoro grins.

Ace is sitting on the counter trying to taste each and every ingrediant, including the raw eggs! No smacking of hands deters that one, Sanji just gets smacked right back. Cora has been sneaking candy into his mouth, most likely going to get sick of it and ruin his appetite. Okay that was a lie, kid can eat. They're not half of Luffy for nothing.

"Why are you even here?" Sanji glowers.

"Law said you'd be cooking, so thought I might join you. Free meal and all," Zoro shrugs.

"Fib! Fib!" Ace yells. "Papa said no fibbing!"

Zoro visibly redddens, "Did Luffy also tell you that kids that say fib, get bullied?!"

"No, but daddy did say you always stare at Uncle Sanji's butt. And that you two would probably get married before we get another baby sibling," Cora states.

"Oh that does it, both of you go play outside!" Zoro chases after the two boys, managing to wrangle up Ace just before running after Cora.

Sanji is left there speechless, and blushing. It is the first and only time he's ever burned a meal in over a decade.

=-=-=-=-=-=

"Aunty Robin, what is the quickest way to muder someone?" Ace asks in his most polite and respectful manner.

"Well, I am a visual learner, how do you grasp your knowledge better?" She smiles at her two nephews. They are sharing some tea and biscuits out on her patio listening to the thundering rain.

"Pictures are good," Cora answers and his brother nods.

"Now why would my two sweetest nephews need this information?"

"Papa is mad that this one lady at daddy's work is giving him all the bad work days. We don't get to see him no more," Ace's demeanor shifts to a rather pathetic gloomy appearance.

"Oh dear, that does constitute murder," Robin sympathizes.

"We thought so too!" Cora grumbles. "Can you help us? We're cute, we'll be out of Impel Down in no time!"

=-=-=-=-=-=

Law was lying on his stomach, head sideways on his arms as his youngest was coloring in his tattoos. Definitely a habit he learned from Luffy.

Cora and said husband were baking cookies as he and Ace watched a documentary on the most ridiculus crimes commited. Luffy said he knows the person who holds most of those spots. How he knows a ridiculous clown, he won't even ask.

"Dad,' Ace smacks his back to get his attention.

"What baby," Law turns a little to see him.

"You need more tattoos. I colored them all already."

"Why don't we just get you some tattoos?" The words are out of his mouth before he realizes what he'd done.

But Luffy heard it and started laughing his ass off, "Good luck!"

Yup, his boys were about to go crazy for removable tattoos.

[sparklecryptid]

AtB+bi!Luche AU: I'd love to see how Luche's life would be - different and similar in one with a group of tight-knit siblings who openly care for her.

Luche knows she has siblings. She knows this.

She never plans to meet them, to let them know she is their sister. Luche has no time to stray from the path in front of her - she has no time to consider what could be if they put all their magic and might together. Luche can't leave the future of their world to a flimsy chance that they might be able to change things.

Besides Luche is destined to die a traitor. There is no place for her in the family they will make.

Ace - being the contrary shit he is - seems determined to prove her wrong. He is wary of her at first, as if he knows of who she will be - about who she should become - but then he sees ice swallow a daemon whole and Luche's magic scattering in the air like snow and something like wonder fills his eyes as Ace's own magic - light and bright and horrible - thunders through the air and shatters the ice statues to pieces.

Ace turns to Luche and he laughs. When asked why Ace's grin is blinding.

"I can work with this." That's all he says before telling Luche about their siblings as they head back to the port.

Looking back Luche is sure this is when the threads of fate began to twist and fray.

-

Thanatos and Ardor are-

Odd. They take one look at her and Luche feels like she's being judged. She is, but not for the reasons her clan judged her. No. Ardor and Thanatos think she's too skinny. They keep shoving food onto her plate from their own plates and Luche doesn't know how two decline politely.

Persephone saves her. Astrals bless her.

"I think our sister has had enough," Persephone says dryly, "At this rate the two of you will be flesh and bone and she'll be the healthiest of all of us."

"I don't think Thanatos can get skinnier," Ardor says with a raised brow.

"His elbows are deadly," Ace agrees as he finally settles down to eat after finishing cooking, "Bony bastard."

"Why are you guys always picking on me?" Thanatos whines and Luche feels a smile tug her lips.

It's a strange feeling.

Not an unwelcome one.

-

Thanatos likes picking at the tendrils of the Curse. He is determined to find a way to break it; or at least lessen it's impact. It's a shame, he had declared, that his darling dearest sister is unable to feel warmth.

Mercury had agreed and banned Luche from ever setting foot in Niflheim. It's too cold, Mercury had said, And you're already frozen. Best not risk it.

Luche doesn't know how to tell them that she doesn't mind the curse - that her clan doesn't either - they've all learned to live with it after all.

Luche had thought about telling them to leave it be but-

Jupiter had given her a look and Jules had been in the room.

They don't argue in front of Jules. Jules deserves better than that.

-

Shiva shouldn't be here. Shiva shouldn't be on this battlefield staring Luche down but she is. She is because Luche is stupid and the act of weaving her magic into the curse to strengthen both her magic and the curse might have saved her men - might have won her the day - but at what cost?

Her life. Her life is the cost. Her breath comes slower now and she can feel the frostbite settling on her skin, held at bay only by the way Tredd uses his blessing to fight the curse that seeps into Luche's bones.

Luche doesn't know what her siblings are doing but they're-

Close? Why are they so close?

Something breaks in the air around her and it's warmth that chases the chill away-

Luche faints.

(Her siblings hold a prophecy and a curse in their hands.

They break them both,)