#OHOHOH ANON

[xamaxenta]

god i LOOOVEEE feral animal asl its so true. they truly could not care less about "laws" or "public decency" whatever that is. the straw hats manage with just luffy but the whitebeards sometimes have to deal with TWO of them? at ONCE? theyre used to ace because sometimes pirates are just like that, pops has seen plenty of them and hes just happy to see that nasty stray cat finally come inside to relax and he simply counts the shredded furniture as a Personality Trait to keep the house interesting. but then sabo rolls up and everyone at first chuckles and says oh well at least one of them has manners. except. sabo is secretly 4 ravenous feral dogs wearing a top hat. sabo is polite until the food comes out when he starts snarling and snapping (he and ace start wrestling on the floor BITING each other for a single chicken wing) or when he gets the Predator Stare and anyone who crosses within view of it feels their hair stand completely on end. marco has no particularly strong feelings about sabo when they first meet aside from "ace loves him, hes probably a freak, and he looks ridiculous dressed like that (kinda cute)" except. sometimes ace and sabo make noises at each other that are so far from human language they sound like an entirely different species. he swore one time he saw ace come up and just Lick the side of sabos face, who bit his whole ear in return like they were discussing the weather. there is something Wrong with sabo for sure. but its not until he and ace are bickering at the table and thatch throws a spare chunk of raw meat trimmings at ace (because theyve learned ace can and will eat raw meat, even the fatty or gristly bits, and as much as marco insists its not good At All for his health, the crew likes feeding large and dangerous animals) and as soon as the meat hits the table both ace and sabo go perfevtly still for roughly half a second before SABO lunges forward and grabs it in his TEETH while ace starts pummeling him for it. the top hat goes flying, theres the sound of the galley bench screeching across the floor and boots and fingernails scrabbling across the wood and the Chief Of Staff of the Revolutionary Army runs, hissing, on all fucking fours, with a chunk of raw meat in his mouth up the rigging while ace quite literally snaps at his heels. theres distant snarling and growling. sounds of tearing fabric. screams of shock and horror from the crew on the deck. and it is in that moment marco comes to the devastating realization that he is unfortunately attracted to sabo, and that his taste in men simply cannot be salvaged

Sabo standing there all prim and proper, all neatly buttoned up and his accent has this crisp edge to it like a winters morning flinty with fresh snow or perhaps new parchment waiting to be scored by the writers pen

And then Ace shows up and the mask slips abruptly something wicked spills past the pleasantries and hes kinda like fangs bared growly in a way only animals get with each other

Everyone up until this point knows the basic history Ace loves this guy, Sabo to put it bluntly would die to protect Ace with his life, they share a childhood the jungle that fucking jungle, this means Sabos also a beast but what kind theyre hoping if Ace is anything to go by he would be the same

Except Sabo brings out a monster in Ace and clearly hes so much worse, the raw meat spectacle and then the poor crowsnest lookout scrambling down trembling cold sweat like what the fuck happened to those two?

Eventually they comeback down sabos clothes are in tatters and Ace is just naked lmao theyre blood smeared and everyone hopes its the meat but its wishful thinking because thats way too much blood for a fist sized piece of flank steak

Marco unfortunately realises he has a type

Sabo pins him with a baleful pale eyed stare, those freaky mismatched eyes of his locked the fuck on, someone whos blind in one eye really shouldnt have that sort of focus, Ace headbutts him nippy bitey for being ignored but

Follows Sabos gaze and smiles

[corancoranthemagicalman]

Hey! *coughs* ummmmmmm got any bowuigi fic recs? 👀 (your posts got me obsessed)

Heyy, bestie!! Come hand in hand with me!!

So I've only just recently started reading fics (I wanted to wait until I had watched the movie so I wouldn't get spoiled by anything), so this list is a bit smol at the moment—

But I'm also OPEN to recs! If anyone wants to drop some! Anyway, for you my Bowuigi Fellow In Arms Anon!

The Best Man by herpatoidAcephalist

This is perhaps one of my favorite fics of all time, honestly. It's SO humorous. It doesn't have movie spoilers as it's kind of movie divergent, and pulls on some of the game lore. Anyway, it's sUCH a fun read I was CACKLING and I also was so emotional over some of these scenes it's—it's such GASPING moments! I adore and cannot rec it any higher.

my handsome, my dear by MrsLuigiVargas

Stereotypical me loving fics in which there's someone who speaks endearments in another language. Cuuuteeee. Love their little banter too!

Laser Beam by That_Typo_Was_Intentional

Croco-dilly antics!! Junior (Bowser Junior that is) burns himself by accident. Luigi is there to help. Very short insight into a slice of life and how Luigi has imprinted and been imprinted on in the Koopa family (all of my wobbly eye emojis)

Now this next one I haven't started yet, but it's on my to-read list for this weekend. I've heard only good things about it:

Same Man I Was Before by DarkwingSnark

The tags say "Pre-Slash" and "Enemies to Friends" so I don't think it ends romantical, but it's very much that "oh well we slice of life'd our way into this one boys" from the vibes I get. I can rec it better after I read it. :)

Hope you enjoy those, friend anon! And if YOU find any, reveal them (and yourself [EYE EMOJI] to me)

Lots of love !!

[littleshopofhorrors-confessions]

dear seymour krelgoon, im orin and i would love to mess u up irl

---

[eyesofshan-if]

Please please please please tell us how would hansol react to being pinned down by the commander, its for educational purposes. Only if you are comfortable tho!!

anon... only because i don’t want to spoil the next chapter for you, i will say this: be patient and you will feast <3

[welcome-to-green-hills]

How would everyone react to Amy joining the Wachowskis as a sister?

In my honest opinion, my dear, I think the Wachowski Clan would be over the moon in excitement!

The brothers would have a little (or older! The possibilities are endless❤️✨) sister to hang out with. And the parents would be thrilled to have a bit of diversity.

[randomnameless]

I can’t say Hilda is really not comically evil that you can make stuff up about, what with the fact she’s the only member of her family who LOVES the child hunts and loves lots of child murder for Loptyrs amusement. She just doesn’t want her kids to be the ones killed like any good elitist hypocrite.

In a game called "Genealogy" of the Holy War, someone playing the Genealogy angle doesn't feel that odd in the setting, even if, yes, it is hypocritical in the sense that a named character's death weights more than 55 randoms !

But yeah, what's funny with Hilda is how she's 100% behind the child hunts, as opposed to her daughter (since we will never know anything about her son!) and husband (sort of).

I once joked about it, but she's the only member of the family who supports Julius's child hunts!

[prof-snakewood]

I get the feeling I should send this....

K

What? The letter K?

[cookiekissers]

Ok hear me out hear me out, cutie patootie male reader x Longan dragon but like it’s in the part when Longan is making everyone rocks and reader is the exception pls pls pls

ohohoh being the exception, you have excellent taste anon. right away sir o7

Inevitability

[Longan Dragon x Male Reader]

With bright flashes of light, your friends, and your family cried out as their dough was transformed into cold grey stone. Floating orbs that looked like eyes flew about throughout the village, chasing down Cookies, and wherever they gazed all that was left behind was a new statue. You scrambled behind an overturned cart, still trying to process the whirlwind of horror and panic around you. Peeking above the wagon you see another Cookie, a mother and her baby, fleeing from one of the floating orbs, only to be swiftly cornered against a wall of a building.

Without thinking, you grab the first thing closest to you and vault over the wooden wagon, your legs sprinting toward the ivory eye. It was distracted by its current prey, giving you just enough time to surprise it. The orb turned its gaze to you, and you swung your hefty makeshift club as hard as you could, striking it like a baseball. The eye-like orb was launched a few feet, but not far enough. It quickly recovered and shook itself slightly after the impact, fixing its unfeeling glare on you next. You backed away nervously tightly gripping your pitiful weapon as it slowly pursued you. The eye followed as if it wasn't in any rush like your fate was inevitable.

You saved the mother and her child, if only for a moment. The orbs threatened to petrify everyone in the village without mercy. Were you just delaying the inevitable end?

The eye had you cornered now. But for some reason, it hadn't struck yet. It had frozen your fellow Cookies without hesitation, but with you, it seemed to be examining you for far longer.

A loud shout split the tense air, and a spiky yam mace collided violently with the side of the orb, sending it flying into the distance like it was nothing. Two Cookie warriors appeared as if from nowhere, fighting off the floating eyes with ease. One of the knights ran up to you, lifting you from the ground to set you on your feet again. He dusted you off while you stared in amazement at his, and his friend's, heroics. His dough was pale and he wielded a light blue and white milk mace and a white milk shield.

"Are you alright?" The knight asked in concern.

"Y-Yeah… But who are you? What's going on!?" You exclaim. The knight patted your shoulder to calm you, his smile was gentle and held no worry.

"I'm Milk Cookie, and that's my friend Purple Yam Cookie." Milk Cookie introduced. You glance past Milk Cookie to see Purple Yam Cookie swinging his spiked mace around wildly, chasing off the eyes with glee. Like Milk Cookie, he seemed unfazed by the situation and even appeared to be enjoying himself, if his hearty laughter was any indication.

"Don't worry, everything will be ok. I'll protect you!" Milk Cookie said cheerfully.

As quickly as they came, the eyes retreated to where ever they had come from. You emerged from your shelter with a few other Cookies and looked around at the carnage that had been left behind. In the streets dozens of Cookies stood frozen in stone. Your eyes became misty at the sight of your friends, and Cookies who had once been your neighbors, turned into statues. Stuck with expressions of fear and agony etched into their faces from their final moments.

You saw Milk Cookie and Purple Yam Cookie standing by, examining a stone statue and discussing something.

"UGH! The dragon eye orbs are getting away! Milk Cookie, let's get out of here and FOLLOW them!" Purple Yam Cookie grumbled.

"We can't leave just yet! We must stay to make sure everyone is alright." Milk Cookie replied calmly. Once you heard the knights who saved you were about to leave, you ran up to Milk Cookie and tugged his muscular arm.

"Wait, are you leaving?" You said. Purple Yam Cookie looked you over for a moment before huffing in annoyance.

"What do you want!?" He demanded.

"Please, if you're leaving, you have to take me with you!" you begged. The two cookies looked at you in surprise. Purple Yam Cookie then smirked a bit, apparently pleased with your boldness.

Milk and Purple Yam Cookie clearly knew who had done this to your village, and they would lead you right to them. You were going to find them and avenge your friends.

Though Milk Cookie tried to object to you tagging along because he was worried for your safety, Purple Yam Cookie encouraged it. Though you weren't as strong as him, you were feisty. He had seen you fight against the dragon eyes despite still being so weak, so he elected to let you come. Maybe you could learn a few things from him, and of course, he wanted to fight you once you got stronger. You pouted slightly. Sure, you were just a regular Cookie and weren't very strong, but you were determined to find a way to save your village and reverse the curse.

As you were on your way, you met some of Milk Cookie and Purple Yam Cookie's friends. They all wore armour made up of blue dragon scales and caught you up on what had been happening. That is when you found out the culprit that had attacked your village was an ancient dragon. Longan Dragon Cookie.

You've always assumed dragon stories were nothing but legends until the Ivory Dragon threatened your peaceful village. And now you were thrust into the middle of a brutal conflict and the world was on the brink of destruction. This was serious. Your stomach tied itself in knots at finding yourself in what was essentially a war. Milk Cookie had seen your anxious expression and comforted you, even offering to take you back home. But now that you knew what was going on, how could you just turn your back on the Cookies everywhere who had suffered like your village had and run back home?

You had no fighting experience and weren't a warrior like Purple Yam Cookie or Milk Cookie. Your life has been very ordinary until now. However, you were determined to do everything in your power to help defeat Longan Dragon Cookie.

Like a whirlwind carrying you away, you suddenly found yourself on the Tropical Soda Islands alongside Milk Cookie, Purple Yam Cookie, Gingerbrave, and their friends. You have never ventured this far from your village, but you were mesmerized by the beauty of Pineapple Isle. The land had transformed, merging with the surrounding islands and was thrust into the past, reviving long-extinct creatures.

The massive island that had merged was teeming with dragon eye orbs. The blue dragon scale armour you received helped conceal you from the Ivory Dragon's sight, but you still had to remain in hiding while the other dragons that had joined your side recovered from their encounter with Longan Dragon Cookie. You sat outside your hideout deep in the jungle and sighed to yourself. You were advised not to wander off alone, but you needed some time by yourself to process everything that had happened. Taking a little walk through the forest ended up being a mistake.

As you were walking, lost in deep thought, you were suddenly snapped to reality by the sound of the underbrush shaking. You froze, until a Cookie you didn't recognize emerged from under the big fan-like leaves. They were dressed in elegant white robes, their long white hair tied back into a ponytail. The Cookie carried a staff, and a large hat obscured their face. You blinked, somewhat hesitant. Was this Cookie a friend of Gingerbrave's, or maybe they were from the Stock Tribe?

"Um… who are you?" You ask. The mysterious Cookie didn't reply, but they seemed to be inspecting you closely.

Before you could question them further, with a wave of their staff, the Cookie began to glow with an eerie purple light, and from a swirling vortex of magic, a fierce choco cream wyvern burst forth from the Cookie's form. You shouted in alarm as the wyvern pounced on you, pining you to the ground and trapping you under its sharp talons. You were lifted off the ground and into the air, being carried off to who knows where. From the last glimpses of the ground you caught, you saw Milk Cookie staring up at you in panic.

"Y/N Cookie!!"

You thought your life was over, that you would for sure be eaten by the wyvern that had caught you. Instead, it took you across the archipelago to a white opulent palace floating above the waves. It made its way into the palace, into a refined throne room. Strangely, the choco cream wyvern was careful not to damage you. But it still tossed you to the ground at the foot of the throne. You quickly picked yourself up and saw a majestic Cookie sitting on the throne, dressed in white robes and adorned with golden armour. You stared in disbelief as you came face to face with the Ivory Dragon themself, Longan Dragon Cookie.

"So, you've finally come." Longan Dragon said. "You are an intriguing one." They commented dryly. Four dragon eye orbs floating by their side zipped up to you, gazing at you from all angles. You scrambled to your feet, but the choco cream wyvern prevented you from backing away further, cutting off the only escape route.

"What do you want with me?" You said, trying to keep your voice from shaking. There was a tiniest hint of a smile on Longan Dragon's face.

"I have been watching you. And I have decided to show you mercy and bring you to my palace so that your weak, pitiful life may be spared." They explained.

You were stunned into silence. What about your friends, your village, and all the other Cookies?

"You should be grateful I didn't turn you into stone along with your village. Come here, now." Longan Dragon Cookie rumbled. It wasn't a request. It was an order. Not knowing what to do, the only thing you could do was comply. You prayed that your friends would be able to rescue you.

You approached the throne nervously, awaiting the Ivory Dragon's next command. You gasped suddenly as Longan Dragon Cookie grabbed you by the wrist and effortlessly picked you up and placed you on their lap.

You fidgeted as Longan Dragon Cookie's arm snaked around your waist and pulled you closer, your face suddenly grew hot.

"You will be staying by my side until I inevitably reduce all the weak, crunchy beings into crumbs, weak one. I will be needing a mate in the future." They growled softly in your ear as they stroked your hair. Longan Dragon Cookie's clawed fingers lingered on your neck and then trailed downward to your chest. You shivered and swallowed nervously.

You really hoped your friends got here soon.

[otomiyaa]

Ticklish Aventurine x Reader

Romantic + 06. “Could you… do that to me?” Requested by anon for my 1K Followers Event🌻

Special thnx to @lovelynim for helping me come up with the idea for this*w*

Clover, top!

Spade, side!

Heart, under the chin!

Switch! Repeat!

You were so invested in your new little petting routine that you didn't notice you were being watched.

"What... are you doing?" You jolted and quickly turned around to see Aventurine smirking at you. He was still in bed, looking very lovely with his sleepy face and bedhead.

"Ah! Just petting the cakes," you said, and you walked towards him and gave him a good morning kiss.

"Those little babies are just too cute," you said with a smile, and you glanced back at the adorable cat cakes which were now meowing beacause of the sudden lack of attention.

When looking back at Aventurine, you noted a pout on his face. "You looked quite intense over there. Never seen you like that before," he commented, and you blushed at the realization that he may have been staring a little longer before he made you notice.

"A-ah, well, like I said. Just so cute," you answered. Aventurine was still pouting.

"Could you... do that to me? Or am I not cute?"

You stared at him. Do what? You almost asked this literally but luckily you already realized, and you gasped. The petting?!

"Y-you mean...?" You wiggled your fingers slightly and he nodded cutely. He even pushed the blankets down a little, revealing his half-unbuttoned PJs, and he reached for you with his arm, welcoming you to cuddle.. and pet him?

"Come here," he said. Ah, he was in such a cute and needy mood huh! Seeing you pet the cat cakes made him that jealous? You smiled and crawled against him. He was just too cute.

"Like this, then?" You lightly scratched the top of his head, like you had done to Clover. Aventurine made a cute humming noise.

"Yes," he agreed with a smile. He closed his eyes and seemed to enjoy the attention. You combed your fingers through his hair and enjoyed the way he acted like a cat. If you continued this, would he pur?

"Here too," you said, moving your fingers to his ear, and you lightly scratched him right below his ear, brushing your fingers under his earlobe and against the warm skin of his neck.

"Hehehe," Aventurine giggled softly. He was still a little sleepy and seemed to enjoy the affection very well with his eyes closed, but was that a giggle?

"Does it tickle?" you asked. He nodded.

"Just a little," he admitted. Oh no, oh dear. This was such a sweet, loving and peaceful moment to start your morning with. But no, misschief came to peek around the corner the moment Aventurine admitted it tickled.

You smirked and glanced down at his torso. His PJs was unbuttoned so perfectly that you could see his bare skin.

"Ah, well then you should better prepare yourself. Because next in the petting routine was something like this," you said, and you reached down and lightly traced your finger against his bare tummy. Aventurine jumped and opened his eyes in surprise.

"Ohohoh, well that won't be nehehece-ssaaaarehehehee!" He was so quick to turn into one sweet giggly mess now that you were attacking him with all ten fingers - misschievous, ticklish and on purpose.

Your fingers danced under the fabric of his PJs, tickling him teasingly and making him whine.

"Nohoho! Not thahahat!"

"Yes that," you sang, shaking your head fondly.

"You asked if I'd do that to you, so I am doing it to you," you reminded him, scribbling your fingers against his sides, in a way that wasn't even that much different from how you were petting Spade.

"I dihihidn't mehehean- ahahah!" Aventurine squirmed, but you pinned him down and made sure he wasn't going to get away without finishing the petting routine.

"You are moving too much, dear. I didn't even go for the next petting spot yet. Well, hope it doesn't tickle," you said, reaching for the spot under his chin and tickling him there like you did to Heart.

Aventurine let out the cutest yelp. "Nohoho!" He tried to grab your hands, but his movements seemed a little clumsy because of the tickling.

"T-too ehehearly for thihihis!" he giggled, finally catching one of your hands but unable to pull it away.

"Never too early sweetheart," you teased. You simply continued to wiggle your fingers, tickling him under his chin an also returning to some of those sensitive areas on his neck and near his collarbones.

Your lover was so handsome and sexy, yet at the same time he could be like a whiny kitty cake.

When you finally stopped tickling him, he wrapped you in his arms and held you tightly. You tried to move, but were stuck in his embrace, and you giggled.

"So, after petting comes cuddling?" you asked. You enjoyed the way you could feel his chest heave with each deep breath as he recovered from your tickle attack.

"Yeah. I'm resting," Aventurine said. You nodded.

"Alright."

"And then once I've rested, I will tickle you back. But not yet. Just you wait, darling~" he said tiredly, and your eyes widened. You started to squirm, but his tight hug was really not allowing you to go anywhere!

"Oh hehehe, that won't be necessary. Aven? Baby? Will you forgive me? Hey, answer me!" The little tease was now just ignoring you, or simply falling asleep again while he wouldn't loosen his grip on you.

Oh boy, looked like you weren't going to get out of here without a taste of his revenge!

[honeqq]

I'm not the previous anon, but I suddenly had the image in my head of the land before swine episode, except instead of Stan losing Waddles, now Bill lost Dipper to a Pterodactyl after he left him unsupervised for 1 second, lol

"Wait here pinetree, Let your grunkle Bill take something important inside the shack" *sipping tea* "ohohoh this is great!'"

Dipper in the background " AAAAA GRUNKLE BILL!!!"

[taintandviolent]

Baby, it's cold outside ; Oz Cobb x Reader

summary: It's Christmas Eve in Gotham City, and it's bitterly cold, but you're warm up in Oz's penthouse. When he comes home from an event, you're waiting, wrapped up like a little present.

word count & w a r n i n g s: K | older man/younger woman, established relationship, making out, shameless smut, unprotected sex, foreplay in a Santa outfit, santa kink????, christmas themes, very inappropriate use of christmas puns/phrases/themes, fingering (female receiving), festive dirty talk, praise kink, very brief and light bondage, .

a/n: requested by a few anons! I hope it satisfies your festive whore needs for this man!!! not beta read and kinda rushed, but such is life. I wanted to get this out before Christmas Eve. Also speaking of Eve's.... Eve is... MIA I don't know, it's a plot hole, it didn't work out between them, yada yada, but she's not apart of this. all in the name of spice / reader's benefit! banners by @/strangergraphics!

↓ full fic under cut! ↓ / playlist here / ao3 link here! / I don’t have a taglist anymore, but please turn on post notifications if you’d like to be notified of future fics!

Gotham had been hit by a massive blizzard, but you weren’t complaining. It was Christmas Eve, and the snow was welcomed. At least by you, who didn’t have to be out in it. Big, fluffy flakes drifted down from the clouds, and you had a perfect view of the snow-covered city from the large windows. With the music that you’d put on, it felt altogether very Christmas-y.

You were enjoying the snow by yourself for the time being. Oz had left late that afternoon in a Santa suit. Some favor he had to do – couldn’t get out of it. The way he bristled every time you brought it up told you not to ask for too much information.

Christmas was really important to Oz – you assumed it was a favored holiday of his mother’s or something. Which was unsurprising. Everything, in some way, rooted back to his mother. You had come to terms with that, and accepted it. Played into it, even. 

He was insistent on a tree. A big one.

By the first of December, he had a massive one picked out for the living room, and a smaller (but still substantial) one for his mother’s room and had them delivered to the penthouse. You two decorated the big one that night, with cocktails and music. As with everything in his life, Oz was particular about decorating. After a few drinks, you could admit, your tree decorating skills were lacking. You’d lazily hang them in clusters, and Oz would fuss after you, rearranging it until it looked like it had fallen out of a magazine. 

But tonight, the tree was perfect. You crouched down in front of it, flicking a particularly ample bow atop a package. It wobbled and glittered, catching the twinkling lights above it. Most of the presents were yours – you knew this. Every time you turned around, it seemed there were another two tucked under the tree. 

“Doll?” 

Oz’s gruff voice comes from the hallway, echoing against the walls. Your head snaps up, and you straighten, pushing yourself off of your knees – you hadn’t heard him come in. You wrap the fluffy white robe tighter around your body, making sure that it isn’t revealing anything of your surprise. You’d been in the lingerie for a few hours, not knowing when he’d get home.

He rounds the corner, lumbering in with the signature gait that you’ve come to love. Though he’s ditched the hat and beard, he’s still in the classic red and white suit. It suits his stature and you screw your lips up in an amused smile, trying not to laugh at how miserable he looks. Like an excited child, you gallop over, pressing your hands against the plush suit. You trace circles in the fabric and look up at him with your doe eyes and pouting lips. 

“Ohohoh, Santa,” you coo, playfully. “You’re early.” 

Seeming embarrassed, Oz pulls your hand off his chest, holding it for a moment before bringing it to his lips. A small kiss is placed upon your knuckles before he finally speaks. “Ah, cut it out. Lemme’ get outta’ this fuckin’ thing and I’ll –” 

“Ozzy…” You back up, your hands falling to the tie of your robe. “You know, it’s customary to open a present on Christmas Eve.” 

He stops, mid-turn, and squints at you. He knows you well enough to know that mischievous glimmer in your eyes ain’t going away.

“So, open this one.” 

In a fluid motion, you untie the sash and shrug the robe off your shoulders. It falls to the floor, revealing your festive lingerie that you’d picked out weeks ago. You watch Oz’s eyes light up as he takes in the visual in front of him, starting at your feet, which are covered in a pair of red nylons, thigh highs. His gaze travels upwards, pausing to savor the look of the garters stretching over your lush thighs. Your bare stomach tenses at his gaze, before finally, he gets to the bra; a giant red bow that conceals the majority of your ample breasts. He can’t see it, but your nipples harden under the fabric, a reaction to the chill of the room and the heavy weight of his gaze. 

“Fuck…” He shifts, turning back around to face you fully. 

“But I dunno’.... Only good boys get their presents.” 

The words hit him like a ton of bricks. Oz swallows hard and licks his lips. He jerks his head to the side and lets out a breathy laugh, before holding his hands out.  

“Baby, who is dressed like fuckin’ Santa here? I think I’m the one that gets to decide who is naughty or nice, huh?” 

Your fingers toy with the edge of the bra’s bow, teasingly. “Hmm. Well, we all know that I’ve been a good girl this year.” 

“Yeah,” he says, limping over to you. His hands ghost over your nearly bare hips. “Yeah, you fuckin’ have.” 

You look down at his hands, then shoot your gaze back up to his brown eyes. Languidly, you grab his hand, bringing it to your lips to graze your teeth over the pads. Oz shifts his shoulder, trying to fend off the oncoming erection, no doubt. Something about pitching a tent in a Santa suit feels immoral, but you clearly ain’t on his side on this one. 

 “Don’t I get to sit on Santa’s lap and tell him what I want? Huh?” 

You drop your hands, pulling his with them and tugging him towards the velvet sofa. It faces the windows and the tree, which is an incredibly picturesque and romantic background to fuck to, you think. You yank a little harder, though he’s standing stiff, watching you with hesitant eyes. 

“C’mon Ozzy….. C’mooooon.”

Finally, he concedes to your pulling and follows you to the couch, allowing you to guide him to the middle cushion. With a sharp shove, you push him backwards. He hits the couch with a grunt and looks up at you with those big cow eyes of his  – the ones that you can’t resist, no matter what you do. 

He licks his lips again. “What is this, huh?” 

You tap his nose and bend at the waist to stroke his plush-covered thighs. He’s being good; his red trousers aren’t straining yet. You frown playfully, making sure he sees your pitiful little pout. “Where’s your Christmas spirit, hmm?” 

Your hands continue their trailing up to his groin, and one hand palms his cock outside of his pants. Oz shifts his hips backwards at the sudden contact, and he hisses through his teeth.

“Movin’ your way down the list, sweetheart.” 

“Me?” You gasp. It’s a gentle, girlish sound and you feign shock. Your hand grips his cock a little tighter. “I’m the best girl in the world. I’d never be on the naughty list.” 

He chuckles low and looks down at himself. He feels the telltale heat rushing down between his legs, and it won’t be long before the fabric fights against his hardening length. “I dunno’...”

Your hand abandons its post and moves up to his wide stomach, where you quickly unbuckle the large black belt, sliding it through the loops. You throw it around his neck and pull him forward until his nose bumps into your cheek, and his lips meet yours. You kiss him long and hard, tasting him and whatever alcohol was leftover from the event. 

All at once, Oz lets out a deep groan, and reaches up to pull you into his lap. “C’mon, sweetheart. Sit on Santa’s lap, then.” 

You titter happily, and replace the belt with your arms. One knee at a time, you straddle him and lower yourself down. He doesn’t bother putting on a Santa-esque accent when he asks you what you want for Christmas this year, but does throw in a teasing ‘little girl’. 

You hum and raise your eyes to the tall ceilings, thinking. “Well let’s see… should I play Santa Baby for you? Been an awful good girl…” 

“Why don’t you tell me what you really want?” 

Your gaze falls heavy to his, and you smirk, leaning forward. You position your lips next to his ear and whisper a string of festively phrased, lewd desires that make his lips quirk up in a pleased smirk. 

“Stuff your stocking, huh?” he repeats. 

You nod and as if to punctuate your sentence, you grind your hips against his lap and take note of the stiffness that’s there now. A pleased smirk contorts your lips as you look below your bodies. Amidst all the red fabric, there’s a distinct outline, the fabric tenting as his cock swells from all of your teasing. 

You push yourself up on your knees. As you grip the sides of your panties, you lean forward to tug them over the curve of your ass. The position puts your bow-clad cleavage in Oz’s face and he snags the opportunity to kiss the tops of your breasts. “Mm-mm…” 

You pull them down your thighs, until they rest in the crook of your knees. Oz wastes no time in bringing one of his hands up to her. His fingers stroke her delicately, admiring every inch of her, watching as your hips buck and jerk when he nears the already slick slit. 

“This all for me?” 

“Baby, it’s always all for you. ‘Cause you’re always so good, aren’t you, Ozzy?”  

Between your legs, you feel his hips rise instinctively. He’s hard now, and the tip of his middle finger glides between your folds. You whimper and grip his broad shoulder tight, digging your perfectly manicured nails into the fabric. 

As an afterthought, you bring both hands down to his chest. Fluidly, you slip both hands underneath the jacket, and push it over his shoulders, revealing the white shirt underneath. He’s got his suspenders on, which you immediately tug on. You find them incredibly sexy, something that while he never understood, he appreciates. 

His finger plunges into your warm, wet cunt and sets there a moment, just feeling her.You clench around him, and he pulls out, replacing it with two. The girth of his two fingers is always so satisfying, filling you as he pumps in and out. 

His tongue juts out, mere centimeters from your center. He’s not close enough to taste her, but god he wants to. You can tell; the way he licks his lips repeatedly, his eyes locked on his fingers as they slip repeatedly from your slick cunt. She clenches around his thick digits while you moan above him, resting your cheek on the side of his head.

Finally, after a few more pumps, he withdraws his fingers and you immediately reel back, disappointed. He brings them to his mouth, sucking them clean. 

“Fuck,” he murmurs around them. 

The visual has you leaking and clenching around nothing. You long for the filled feeling again, and wiggle your hips to remind him. You reach behind your back, and unclip the bra, letting your tits fall free. “Ozzy, don’t stop…” 

Without another word, Oz lifts you up with both hands, and sets you down on the sofa next to him. Using the arm of the chair, he pushes himself up and turns to face you. Slipping your hands over the silky velvet, you flip over and push your ass up into the air. He makes a fist around your panties and tugs them down over your ankles. He flings them towards the tree, and you can’t help but let out a little chuckle when they catch on a branch, hanging there as one of the most lewd decorations you’ve ever seen. 

Oz pulls your attention back, taking a fistful of your exposed ass. “This pussy is the best fuckin’ present, sweetheart. There ain’t nothin’ I want more than this….” 

You let out a humiliating whine as he toys with her from behind, his fingers sweeping over your entrance. His thumb catches the side of her, and he pulls her apart, exposing the slick, glistening flesh. 

“Shit, baby… fuckin’ soakin’ wet.” 

He pulls the suspenders off his shoulders, and kicks the trousers down. It’s a bit of struggle to get his briefs down, but he finally does it, and grunts, shuffling closer to you and hoisting his good leg up onto the sofa behind you. 

Taking himself in one hand while still holding you open with the other, Oz slips his fat tip inside. It’s enough to make you whimper, desperately, but you know the moans will come as soon as he plunges himself inside. Though Oz loves every position, he particularly likes taking you from behind. He loves watching as he disappears into you, your dripping cunt swallowing him whole with every thrust. 

“Fuck me, Ozzy… fuck me, please, baby…” 

“Heh, don’t gotta’ ask me twice.” he replies, before pushing himself a little further in. His thick cock stretches you wide and you arch your back up, unable to contain the moans that tumble from your mouth. 

“That’s it… mhm…. Just like that - fuck!” 

Your hips meet him halfway, and Oz sinks himself all the way in, fucking into you hard with an immediate rhythm. Your stomach tightens with the waves of pleasure, your hands gripping the side of the sofa hard. 

“Oh my god, oh my g— You’re… you’re so fuckin’ good, Oz. You’re so fuckin’ good, oh my god. N-nobody’s better than you, baby…” 

Though Oz usually fucks you speechless, you’ve gotten in the habit of verbally praising him. If you don’t, he’ll ask for it anyway. It’s something that deeply arouses him, and makes him fuck you all the harder. Which he does. He groans and ruts his hips against your ass, filling the room with the slapping of your bodies as they collide. Silently, you’re glad for the music, which disguises some of the erotic sounds. 

“How’s that dick feel, huh? Tell me it’s good.”

You nod, your mouth dry from breathing so hard. “It’s so good. Big, thick cock feels s-so….” Your sentence is shattered by a string of high-pitched moans, but you quickly regain composure and finish it off. “...good!”

He continues humping your ass, driving himself as far in as he can. The head of his cock repeatedly hits the deepest part of your core, and your eyes roll back in your head. You only need a few more moments of his relentless bullying before your cunt flutters around him, glazing him in warm slick. The dizzying high of the orgasm wraps its hands around your head, forcing it to fall heavy onto the sofa.

The sensation sends Oz over the edge – and he’s genuinely surprised he’s lasted this long. He tenses, his hips lose their rhythm as he shudders over you, bucking and stammering words of pleasure. His release coats his cock as he pulls out of you. 

“God damn,” he pants.

You nod, smushing your face against the cushion. “Yeah. You really…” you swallow. “ Decked my halls.” 

Oz wants to tell you to knock it off, but all he can do is laugh. As he pulls himself from you, his gaze falls to an oblong present under the tree. It’s a necklace; diamonds, with a purple garnet and an amethyst dangling in the middle. Once he showers, he decides he’s gonna give it to you. 

“I’ll be back, doll. Don’t get dressed. I wanna see this present on ya’. Stay just like that.”

 So, you do. 

His cock was enough of a present, but you aren’t about to complain to a man like him. 

[krislgfox]

If you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs. anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog!

Ohohoh, first time get this myself, but okie :D

Well, hmmmm

I have increased anxiety

I have a sweet thot

I'm a touchstarve person

That's all I suppose :D

Tags: @steffani-milligan, @sebastiannarrator, @thefriendlyneighborhoodidiot, @lilia-arts, @alinoriandklox, @artismeyou-12, @furineta and @/anyone who wants! :D

[sshadowritestoriess]

Hi, I love your writing!! Is there any chance you could write something regarding hate sex between Cassidy or Ramattra and a reader who’s apart of Overwatch?

Hope you’re doing well!

Ohohoh, anon you are speaking my language. Here we go :]

Hate Sex with Cassidy

The pseudo-cowboy had very reluctantly recruited you into Overwatch when you so kindly interrupted his interception of some feral omnics that were tweaking out in a plaza, nearly singeing his beard with an explosive that you gave little-to-no warning about

You apologized, but apparently he had been having a very poor day already, because he decidedly felt it was appropriate to raise his voice and call you stupid. Then still had the audacity to ask for your help.

Thus blossomed the start of a rocky relationship that definitely got off on the wrong start.

But give or take a couple months of petty banter, including a couple back-and-forth attempts to sabotage one another on missions you should not have been putting at risk, came quite the ‘therapeutic’ encounter where you both had run into each other in the training bay at a very late hour

“Came out here to finally jump me?” Cassidy snorted, keeping his side to you as he wraps his fist in medical bandage tape

“Keep talking to me and I might.” You huff from your teeth as you dropped a duffel bag by a bench nearest the wall. You pull down your sweatpants to reveal spandex shorts, shooting him a weird look when you caught him staring

“That best be a promise.” He snickers through a scowl, “I been waitin’ for a reason to whoop yer sorry ass for a while.”

“You really wanna try me, cowboy?” You pull your weapon of choice off the selection wall, and he finally turns his full front toward you daringly

“Ain’t nothin’ I wanna try more.”

And so you’d made the first move, engaging in all-out combat and holding nothing back. You had no intent to actually kill one another, but neither of you were pulling your punches either

You manage to disarm him, and he’s quick to do the same to you now that you were in much closer quarters, and whatever anger you had before blossomed into a tunnel of red rage when the butt of his palm slams into your chin

One thing leads to another, you’re more than certain you have cracked ribs that you earned for breaking his nose, and he eventually has you pinned to the ground with his hands on your throat

He’s not choking you, but the pressure he pushes into your skin lets you know he has every reason and potential to. Instead, while he’s sat between your legs and your hands uselessly try and pry his fingers off your neck, you both end up pausing to gauge the position you’re in

You’re both panting heavily, your bottom lip is split and bleeding a little— though far less than Cassidy’s nose was. His cheek is swollen red where you’d punched him, and by god did it hurt to breathe in too much from where he’d slammed his elbow into your ribs

Your eyes are roaming him, and you can see he’s checking you out as well. But as your eyes meet again, there’s a long pause that wrings the air out of you

“Damn it all…” he growls with some hesitation, but you’re quick to nod, and his lips come crashing down on yours

His palms meet the mat below you, and your hands quickly shuffle your shorts down as he slips his tongue in your mouth

He groans, soon pulling from your face to start biting against your neck. You make quick work to finger and tease yourself before he tugs down the waistband of his joggers and pull out his erection

But as he presses himself against you, you’re quick to wrap your legs around his middle and flip you both over. As if you would be on bottom with Cassidy.

Lowering yourself onto him, you would take the cowboy for a ride right there in the training bay. He’d grasp onto your waist and try to meet your rolling hips with short thrusts, one eye shut as sweat dripped from his brow and stung the red of his cheek.

“Ain’t givin’ me the time of day, h-huh?” He’d be breathing harder already

You’d have to keep your hands firm on his shoulders to cease his attempts to flip you over again. He grows irritated at this and goes to say something, but you shove a couple fingers into his mouth, to which he flinched in some surprise but proceeds to bite down on your knuckles as he groans

His metal hand felt nice and cool on your side, so you’d remove your fingers and coax his human hand to stroke at you while you ride him. He’s happy to try, if not a bit distracted with the buzz of pleasure making him forget to use his words

Neither of you last very long, already worn out from fighting and highly aroused by the state of each other. Your legs quickly tire, but you manage to make him finish before you roll off him and take care of yourself with a couple quick jerks of your hand.

Cassidy watches you make yourself orgasm, and a chuckle finds him— somewhat embarrassed, but wholly enjoying the view. “I coulda done that for ya…”

“Next time.” You hiss between heaved breaths as you try to catch some air.

“Next time, huh?” He’d echo, “Don’t reckon that goin’ fer seconds makes us friends.”

“It doesn’t. Now go clean up your face, you look gross.” You didn’t mean it, but you needed justification for having looked him in the eyes for so long just now. He seemed to have known, offering another bright grin and a laugh as he stands, kicking your shorts over to you.

“Til another time then, sugar.” He’d turn to leave.

“Don’t even start with the pet names.”

Hate Sex with Ramattra

Naturally, you were his enemy in more than one means. You were affiliated with Overwatch, you were human, and you just loved to make sure he knew you were in his way. Whether that be in direct combat or your other neat tricks

He would find masses of his damaged war units tagged with custom stickers, spray paint on the sides of buildings with your name in claim you had been there, and encrypted signatures hidden in his UI whenever you were near

Loser, Ramattra would see the block text shaking in the corner of his vision, or U Suck— cheap taunts that could quickly be directed toward his system the second he’d have his back turned. It was…. Irritating.

Until there came a day where the Null Sector made a successful push, forcing his opponents to retreat— and he spotted you attempting to make an escape through a damaged building

He cast his vortex upon you, purple ribbons binding around your ankles for just a moment, sparing him enough time to slam you against the wall with his hands

He knows with every part of his fabricated soul and being that he hates you, and yet holding you against the wall by your wrists he hesitated to kill you. There was something enticing about finally having you at his mercy that made him pause

“You gonna kiss me or something…?” You try to joke after several seconds, nervous before the hesitating ravager. He was leaned in pretty close to your face, afterall

“You horrible, infuriating human. You would jest at death’s doorstep, over begging for your life?”

“Do you want me to beg?” You’d asked, why not just kill me? He couldn’t tell if the sultry tone was intentional or not, or if you were just scared. Dilated pupils, somewhat baited breath— he felt intimidated by not knowing for certain, or how to proceed. Why couldn’t he just kill you?

“…Uh, big guy,” you huff when Ramattra failed to answer, wrists becoming increasingly uncomfortable, “is there something you want?”

He’s not so certain what happened next, just that it had happened. He barely said a word. Your hands were somehow free, there were delicate palms sliding up the sides of his waist and making him shake, and soon after that his hips were flush with your bare ass while you held onto the wall

He’s got a bruising grip on one of your thighs— lifted flush against his chest— his other hand also grasping the wall as he thrusts into you

He absolutely hated how well you made him feel, squeezed tight around him, making his processor struggle to form coherent thought.

Your hand would occasionally sneak back and slip between the panels of his exterior, pulling at wires and pressing into nodes that made him jerk and sputter

“Wretched… beast,” he snarls between feigned breaths over you, “look at what you’ve reduced me to.”

Ramattra was harsh in his movements, though mindful of the difference between sturdy machine and human fragility. He wished to make you ache, not to break you… for now

You would continue to taunt him, even now. While lacking concentration and access to your devices, you could still tell him through gritted teeth that he could do better. He would slam harder against you at that, eliciting slight pain but making excitement flare in your abdomen

His hand would leave the wall and hook around your throat, fingers grasping at your chin. He continued to scold and blame you for his behavior, as well as yours, and you’d spit retorts back that this was all his own doing

His vocalizer would stutter now and again as his systems overheated: “C-Curious, you certainly take a lot of pleasure in becoming a toy to be utilized for someone else’s gain.”

“You sure I’m not the one using you?” You bite back, then he’d growl, hand on your leg certain to leave purple marks in the shape of his entire handprint.

And once he’s finished using you, shuddering with a sigh, his fans come to a stop and swap to a release function with steam hissing from his back and shoulders, removing himself to give you a gentle shove against the wall— then he chuckles as you teeter and catch your wavering balance

He was careful to disguise his own trembling, reattaching his pelvic plate. “I will not be showing you the same mercy next time. I advise you learn to run when you are losing.”

“Sure you won’t,” He watches your lip become glossy when it slips beneath a pink tongue, “You’ll be back for more.”

Needless to say, you were very right about that. For the next several occasions, he made absolutely certain you’d struggle to rejoin your allies on sore and shaking legs.

[derangedanomaly]

I wonder where Noot came from, did he grow from some discarded amount of Night's Goop-magic, or maybe said goop started animating a host body with no previous soul?

ohohoh maybe a ScienceTale AU made him from samples collected post-battle? or an advanced or powerful magic AU-

I dunno Nootmare is awesome and I'm sososo excited to see him muck around some more!

-Orang Anon

OMG, LORE???

I love her already 🫶

Masterlist

[giggly-squiggily]

For the sentence starter prompts, how about some RyuSae with “I’m gonna get you back”. ❤️❤️

Nah cause it’s the way I posted this and forgot to put my usual message- 💀💀💀 my bad! Anyway- AHH RYUSAE MY BELOVED!!!! I love them your honor! Anon, I’ve gotcha covered!

CW: suggestive humor

“Erk! Would you stop that!” Sae jerked forward when Shidou’s hands found his belly, lightly tracing the skin as he was pulling his jersey off. “I swear, I’m gonna get you back!”

“Hahah! You can most certainly try, Sae-Sae! Bring it on!”

That was days ago. Shidou really should know by now how his boyfriend worked.

“Die.” Hands dug into his ribs from behind, quick and nimble. Shidou sucked in a breath of surprise, but that was about it. “....The hell? Why aren’t you laughing?”

“Not ticklish there. Keep going, though- it feels good.” Shidou laughed when Sae pinched him, moving his hands up and down in search of a spot. “Oh, how I love having your hands all over my body, Sae-Sae~”

“Shut up. Don’t be gross.” Armpits were a bust, as were his hips and stomach. He even tried getting his legs, but all it did was make Shidou stretch his leg out encouragingly. “You really aren’t ticklish?”

“No, I am. You just haven’t found it yet.” Shidou grinned at him, turning around and pulling Sae into his arms. “I however know exactly where to go..”

“Back off, demon.” Sae glared, shoving him when those dastardly hands tried tickling his ribs. He took a moment to really look at Shidou, debating on where he’d be ticklish. His eyes lingered on his collarbones.

Without any warning, he reached out and poked at the base of Shidou’s neck.

“AH!” The taller boy yelped, jerking back at the touch. Sae’s brows raised to his hairline. “He-ehehehehe..thaht’s a gohohood gueehehss.”

“I don’t think it’s a guess.” Sae wasted no time as he grabbed Shidou’s arm, flipping him around and squirreling a hand against his collar. The demon player let out a whoop of laughter before collapsing to his knees, clinging to his boyfriend as he was tickled mercilessly. “Wow, you’re really ticklish here.”

“Ahehahhahaha! Cohohoohme ohohoh, dohoohohn’t behehehhee meehhehahahan!” Shidou pleaded through his mirth, face half-buried in Sae’s outer thigh as he curled up to the best of his abilities. “I cahhahan’t tahhahake it ahehahahahahaha!”

“I thought you liked it when I was mean?” Sae snorted to himself as he pulled his hand back, running it through Shidou’s spikes in a rare show of affection. “I’ll spare you today, but tickle me again and I’ll end your life.”

“Yohohou sahhay that lihihke you don’t lihihihke it.” Shidou grinned, screaming once more when those fingers attacked his neck.

“I changed my mind.” A red-cheeked Sae growled. “Die and don’t revive.”

Send me a sentence starter and I'll write a dabble for you! :D

[dawnofdeathh]

HIH!!! I was wondering if I could request tfem argenti sfw headcanons with an enby reader :0?

I'm so starved for content revolving around tfem argenti (or just folks using she/her for her in general 😭)

Anyways, ignore this if ur too busy but if u get to this ty for the content of my wife I’m praying I get her on her banner!! (also the tfem boothill post made my sapphic brain go brrrr tysm)

WAHHH your welcome anon 💝💝 your right its so hard to find ppl who hc argenti as tfem.. its one of my favorite hcs 😭😭 anyways GLL ON UR PULLS ANONNN !!! argenti is being stubborn and wont come home for me 😔😔😔 ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

tfem!Argenti x nb!reader

-Ohh argenti is such a sappy cheesy gal..

- love her for that

-she has the cutest smile everr like oml angles sing and flower petals fly when she smiles..

-she loves sprouting out cringy romantic things to you.. like instead of telling u that she loves u she says shit like:

'my dearest beautiful gorgeous partner.. you are akin to a rose blooming in the sunlight, Idrila has blessed you with their beauty and I, but a humble woman, cannot help but cry in how beauty shines through you, you make my heart burst every waking moment I see you my love, my gorgeous beautiful partner..🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹'

-ok. ppl might disagree but argenti cannot cook to save her life.. but she doesnt give up!!! (she gave u food posing by accident once)

-ohhh her hair is sooo silky and loong . she loves it when you do silly and stupid styles for her..

-oh my god if you ever get cold while cuddling she WILL build a who ass pillow fort for you just to keep you warm like:

"Genti I'm cold.."

"WHAT?!?!?"

*covers you in every single blanket she can find*

"Are you still cold, my flower? or shall I get more blankets?"

-ohohoh shes soooo strong definitely carries you around when your legs hurt ...,.,.

-shes literally your knight in shining armor..

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

yoy dont get it giys. I want her so bad. my lesbian heart was pounding while i was wrting this. AIRGHHH TFEM ARGENTI SAVE ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭