#acctag: presidents

[pranklinfierce]

Since like 11* people on Instagram either commented or SU'd when I posted this in a story, this image proved compelling enough to share elsewhere.

This is a real video that you can watch here

I immediately had too many thoughts to keep to myself so these are my notes:

*it used to say 9 but then more people SU'd

[opalite-illusions]

Is anyone going to make a fanfic about Franklin pierce or am i going to have to step up 🤔

[pranklinfierce]

@foolishrunt because your Buchanan artist evaporated I'm taking advantage of the opportunity:

Buchanan sketch + render

[pranklinfierce]

Jimmy and Rosalynn for the occassion

[pranklinfierce]

you're having a party, which presidents are you inviting?

Good question, very fun. I'll invite all of the ones I like, and whichever ones I'd like to see in a party setting.

James Madison is chronologically the first that I would invite. I think it'd be funny to see him at a party. I think of "nearly gets trampled on the dance floor..." I, myself, will trample him unless he brings Dolley.

Jackson is invited and I hope he leaves cheese around the house in secret spots like he did at the end of his presidency.

Van Buren is invited unless @presidenttyler continues to insist that I have to marry him or he'll summon a deadly fog (please die, Mr. Tyler.)

I would invite William Henry Harrison, but tragically, as I'm sure we've all heard, he is no longer with us </3.

John Tyler is invited unless he tries to insist I marry Martin Van Buren lest a deadly fog be summoned. Also I swear to God he's not allowed to use my bathroom. I hope he and Jackson start fighting (no weapons allowed in my house) and I get to see their skinny bones fall out.

James K Polk is invited. I want him to bring his Lady Presidentress as well. Double invited if he is the presidentress.

Zachary Taylor is invited. His daughter can come too. His daughter's husband cannot come. His daughter's husband's dog, Bonin, can come. The murderer who shares a name with Zachary Taylor's daughter's husband's dog cannot come.

Millard Fillmore is invited. He can bring the whole boiler room with him. It wouldn't be a party without him.

Franklin Pierce is invited, of course. As an old @/deadpresidents posts that I can longer find clarifies, he would indeed be a welcome party guest, even if people on Reddit don't seem to think so (I have beef with 90% of reddit tier lists, save for any of them made by @starlight-tequila.) As I've come to understand, there're no less than 4 fictional interpretations of Pierce where he's being haunted. I request he keeps the haunting at home; I don't want the watchmojo demmons to mess up the vibe.

James Buchanan is invited. I want to see him in his worst outfit, behaving as he did at Dickinson before his expulsion. He needs to bring Harriet too. WRK too, unless I decide that he's also dead.

Andrew Johnson can come because I once saw an image of him smiling.

Ulysses Grant can come. He may play with the non dog animals (unfortunately, they're all just different Martin Van Buren government assigned rodentsonas in a pen.)

As can Hayes. Hayes can bring his wife, Lucy. She actually allowed drinking in the White House on special occasions, so she would not be a party pooper.

Garfield may come, but only as Lucretia's plus one. It's what he deserves. Since Guiteau did so much for Garfield's election (and was basically the president, let's be real, guys) he can come as an honorary president. So can David Rice Atchison, even though that story is complete bs. Dr. Doctor Bliss will be shot on sight by Boston Corbett.

Arthur is invited, but Julia Sand needs to pre-approve everything that he does. Conkling may come as a plus one, but he will go in the pen with the Martin Van Buren government assigned rodentsonas (it's okay, that's where Grant is anyway.)

On no other day would I ever allow Benjamin Harrison and his shortness within my sight, but I just found a song about him and it's stuck in my head, so I think it's only right that he attends 1 single time before my kind feelings toward him dry out.

McKinley is invited. He must sing to me.

Wilson is invited. But I will lock him in a room like a creature. You-know-who gets the key. The second female president, Edith Wilson, may attend.

Warren Harding gets to come. Gaston Means may, as well. Also Calvin Coolidge and Herbert Hoover. That's about it. If Nixon were to show up I wouldn't turn him away.

I'd like the party to end by sending an anonymous tip to Carrie A. Nation, telling her there is alcohol. She can come in, destroy everything, and all's well because if everything is destroyed, there's nothing to clean. She and Guiteau can ride into the sunset, combining to be a person of a normal height. I hope they invite me to the wedding.

[pranklinfierce]

Why does this suddenly have so many notes 😭

i imagine richard nixon being submissive to me. Just in the room basically waiting for me for tummy rubs etc. like hes a little puppy. Even jerk off to that thought.

i cant do this anymore bro

[pranklinfierce]

[pranklinfierce]

So a bit ago @msachillelaurosfunnels drew this post, per my request. I had the intention of making it a trade of sorts, and then forgot for months (oops.) So I drew what I imagine the logical second panel of her drawing would be (that is, he takes little notice of the watch and instead is horrified by the existence of the magic box known as Samsung phone as msachillelaurosfunnels stands by awkwardly waiting for him to be done.)

[pranklinfierce]

I just can't with the fact that they used stuff from his depression after Anne Rutledge died to try and say he was sad his friendship (or rather, as they spun it, mad love affair) with Speed took a dip.

The doc doesn't even mention Rutledge. Incredibly dishonest stupid piece of media.

"Never before seen letters" how about letters never before so grossly misinterpreted

Rip Abraham Lincoln you would have loved tumblr

[pranklinfierce]

Hell

[pranklinfierce]

I left my mark on the NYC Public Theater weird metal signing table

If bbaj has a revival you know who to thank

[pranklinfierce]

Stole the base from the antarctic exploration community.

[pranklinfierce]

Compelling

[pranklinfierce]

I want to be noticed by Grover Cleveland Art Society on Instagram. I would never draw him otherwise.

[pranklinfierce]

Stephen Sondheim should have given a song to the drunk guy who threw an egg at franklin pierce

[pranklinfierce]

“Do you think you can stand the unnumerable kisses and the passionate embraces you will receive? Are you prepared for the storm of lovemaking with which you will be assailed?”

— Woodrow Wilson (a letter he sent to his first wife)

Oh, indeed. My understanding is that Wilson, despite his piety, may have broken some laws of chastity.

I actually own a book with part of that quote as the title:

I assume he is the second silhouette. He was so weird.