#accepted: temperance

[hanzajesthanza]

geralt "i will NEVER deadname my best friend" of rivia

"he will ALWAYS be dandelion to ME"

[bonescaps]

[erisenyo]

Having thoughts about Blue Eye Samurai and desire, like this whole entire show is about wanting. Desire is presented as a means of self-awareness and self-knowledge. Who you are is someone who wants, and turning away from your secret lusts is an act of self-deception. It's turning away from your *self* and therefore putting you at war with yourself.

But we also see desire as a tool. Your desires wielded against you, your desires the means by which others can access and gain power, your wanting opening you up to be used by the object of your want. Knowing your desires means someone knows you in ways they can use, if your desires are overpowering enough to make you so singularly focused on them.

And yet muddled desires or misdirected wanting opens one up to aimlessness, to time and effort wasted, to being a piece in the game rather than a player.

Desire is a clarifying, motivating purpose. Recognizing your true desire gives you direction and momentum and moves you from passive reactivity to action, to agency. Singular, overwhelming, crystalline desire for revenge powers Mizu through every challenge. It is the source of Mizu's strength and when it is known it is what allows Mizu's enemies to set traps, to counterplan, to escape when otherwise they'd be caught.

Feel desire. Feel it strongly and deeply and powerfully and with overwhelming force. Feel your desire in every step and breath and moment, until it's all you are, and never show it until you absolutely have to, until you can't hold it back anymore and it explodes out of you.

This show is insane.

[nellasbookplanet]

Kind of fascinated by how, initially, what brought Laudna and Imogen together were recognizing their similarities - the feeling of being an ostracized outsider whose presence evokes a not entirely unwarranted fear; of having powers granted by a mysterious patron they are largely in the dark about yet know, in their heart of hearts, is dangerous both to them and the world at large; of still being tempted and enamoured by this power despite their better judgement - and how they in recent episodes have started moving in polar opposite directions in how to deal with these dark powers.

Imogen has admitted to temptation but, as she sees more and more proof of the danger of both Predathos and the Ruby Vanguard, is violently resisting it. Laudna, meanwhile, has openly called herself a dead end. She can see no way out of her predicament and so instead of trying to fight she’s decided to try to harness as much of it as she can before it burns her out. For what seems like the first time, she and Imogen are truly at odds at where to go; Laudna says maybe we're destined to harness it, Imogen says maybe we're destined to fight it; Laudna is regressing and Imogen is growing; Laudna says move on if I die, Imogen says I don’t accept it. The very fact that Imogen went to the Dawnfather for help, the god with whom Laudna now has bitter history, is a fascinating choice. Would Laudna even accept that help? She certainly wouldn’t ever ask for it. Yet finding a new patron, someone to keep her going after Delilah, seems her only option, but it’s one she’ll never seek on her own because she can’t see the point. They connected thanks to their pasts and now, as they begin to look to their futures, their paths are diverging with Laudna treading blindly towards a dangerous end.

[weirdbabs]

i think the issue i have w the theory that the changes made surrounding the ac (baxborough being visible in the distance, isaac living next door to max, ed suddenly having long hair and wearing a skirt and peter pan collar blouse) were bc dimitri wanted his friends to be happy is bc. it just. doesnt make sense? in practice?

does dimitri consider isaac a friend or just someone who peekaboo scared so badly w its tantrum that he attacked out of instinct, causing dimitri to realize just how dangerous peekaboo could be and pull away from the ac club to protect them? does he consider max, a kid that he met 5 days before and hasnt spoken to much a friend? peekaboo knowing what would make them happy requires either peekaboo paying attention to others, or knowing exactly which hearts from the hundreds across the lake belonged to those dimitri considered friends to grant their desires. which i cant really see it caring enough about them to be able to pick them apart, especially since it did leave dimitri alone when he asked so it wouldve only seen max briefly during lunch

its an interesting theory, and as good of an explanation as any for the changes, but not one i can personally ascribe to

[hyunpic]

[stardustedknuckles]

If I can be very, very reductionist for a moment: Laudna is a Beau who wasn't rejected at every turn and eventually sent away. They are at their core the same people, specifically as it pertains to where Beau started. Beau was sent away from her abuser, by her abuser. Laudna's isn't going anywhere and she's showing Laudna the exact kindness and attention Beau craved from her family. Laudna is a Beau who never got out.

[bunnyboy-juice]

oughghghhghghhhhhgh (vent)

[live-from-new-york-its]

[cherubchoirs]

One thing that comes to my mind is overtime Fallen!Gabriel coming to terms with his slow transformation and more hellish traits, maybe abandoning his swords at times and just claws at what comes in his and V1's way. Or maybe even him falling into despair after these instances happen and V1 bringing him back to reality idk all my thoughts are jumbled and *incomprehensible sputtering noises* ILOVETHATSDHITOH MYGOD

YES YOU GET IT.....gabriel's fall is a quick process initially - he dies, from the remains of his light burning out or in a final stand against v1 to resolve what little he can in the time he has left, but he doesn't fade into nothingness like he believes he should. he is brought back in the depths of treachery greatly disoriented but instinctively understanding his cosmic position, the punishment seeming swift and fully realized upon his resurrection - he is torn from all the other angels, feeling mentally and physically isolated in a way he has never known, his body is racked in the cold even from within and his wings are ruined so that he may never aspire to heaven again. this is what falling feels like, this is what it looks, and he believes the process to be complete as it gives him more than enough to grieve. but his halo is still intact, still fully luminous if not slightly dimmed compared to the other archangels, and only when it starts to crack and fall away does he realize he was mistaken.

upon waking in his tomb, gabriel doesn't have any weapons - his swords aren't with him and he can't summon any light to use his spear or axes. however, he's far too confused and pissed off to really notice too much - this fight is basically meant to play out much like a prime soul, where gabriel is using the sheer brute force of his body to relentlessly engage v1 (although i do imagine he tries, through habit, to call his weapons to him...and when he can't, it just enrages him. he self-enrages lol) he gets brought back to his senses with enough pummeling though, having to consciously now accept that his death resulted in his fall instead and then forced to acknowledge several punishments in quick succession with a clearer head. no flying, no teleporting, no light to aid him, and total isolation of the self. he despairs QUITE loudly for awhile but, like i mentioned in my last post about gabriel, he is now a character moved to action and since he has more time, he must learn to use it. gabriel had just been mourning the work he would leave undone so he wants to find a way to bear this weight...and perhaps action will keep him occupied. and he'll need weapons for that.

so v1 (gleefully) helps him steal from his own tomb, needing to wrench his swords free now buried into bodies of flawless marble in a way that sees them break. they are heaven-tempered blades and so gabriel knows they shatter by design to show the fallen angel that he has no claim to them anymore, at least not in their perfect state, but he knows too he needs to work with what he's given. no free passes ever again. and so he learns to fight entirely on his feet with broken swords, fresh anguish snapping at his heels but kept at bay by his natural inclination as a warrior, v1's now constant presence (as well as how they learn to fight together rather than against one another), and the ultimate peace he has with his decision. he did what was right, and he wishes to accept the outcome as it is, something he can manage to maintain until his halo starts to crumble. it sets into motion the true decay of his heavenly traits and the acquiring of demonic ones which he, being pretty much ignorant of fallen angels, had no idea to expect.

the horns on his helmet grow significantly and his nails fully sharpen to take shape into claws while he increasingly loses his ability to speak in the holy tongue, the words twisting themselves in his throat and making him sick until he can say them no more. his swords begin to burn in his hands while his still instinctive calls to the divine light start to instead attract massive amounts of hell energy to him through prayer now made infernal. and with all of this, he begins to forget himself in battle. his body, once airy and ethereal despite being solid, is growing hard, his own flesh like cold marble and just as difficult to pierce regardless of armor, allowing him a recklessness he would have never considered before. and so, in expedience, in anger, in something that's feeling increasingly natural, he abandons his weapons and tears into husks, machines, (other?) demons with horns and claws, and he revels in the visceral feel of it. he distinctly senses how he rends their flesh or their parts without the distance of a blade and he sees each time how v1 darts in to soak up the blood he spills, euphoric in the moment of abandon but horrified when it ends. his swords lay cast aside and the traits he has agonized over, that have caused renewed despair and that he has, quietly, tried to vainly and pointlessly pray over, are becoming a part of him. they are his new self, and something in him is accepting them.

he absolutely does fall apart more than once over the idea and over the inevitable, that he will become this no matter how he resists. but v1 understands his fear, all of it in its own way - it's error-riddled, its software is corrupted beyond recognizability and if humanity had ever seen it in such a state, it would have been destroyed. but this is itself, this is what it is now and what it now wants to be despite how terrifying it once was to know that it was warping far from the model it was meant to be. but humans aren't here anymore and neither is god. they make themselves now. which. probably also initially hits gabriel hard with how pointed it is, but he's much more accepting of truth than he once was and still, despite everything, he wouldn't have changed the choices he made that got him here.

[kyngsnake]

can i just say that as a trans dude, avery makes me so happy! he’s cool and badass and extremely Gender and the fallout community doesn’t have enough trans rep! also your art is god tier i hope you’re having a great day :)

aw gosh thank you🥹 Avery in a lot of ways embodies the trans rep that I personally like to see, im glad that’s ended up being helpful for somebody else

[scarycranegame]

okay but why do people get so goddamn upset when you say that you dislike kids/being around kids???? i'm pretty sure no one is saying that kids should just straight up stop existing, or that kids shouldn't be allowed in any public place ever. when most people say they don't like kids it means that they're sick of hearing screaming for an hour and a half in the local walmart because some kid's parent won't buy them a ps5. they mean they're sick of hearing cocomelon on full blast while waiting in the purgatory that the checkout line. they're sick of nearly running a kid over with a shopping cart because said kid's idea of fun is laying on the floor in the middle of the aisle and their parent can't be bothered to tell them to get up. that's what people mean when they say they dislike kids.

no one (at least, no one i've ever heard of) is trying to physically accost children simply for existing in a public place. no one is trying to argue that children shouldn't exist, or be allowed in public places. i feel like some of you are forgetting that "man im 5 seconds away from killing this [x]" is a figure of speech and not actual homicidal ideation. god motherfuckin damn. get a grip

[dutybcrne]

Always loving the idea of Kaeya having a significant other that actively enables him getting out any self-destructive impulses/suppressed anger he has in healthy and safe ways bc they of all ppl can handle actively making him actually act on them

[winterweary]

…do you guys see the vision?

[skylarmoon71]

Lance Sweets (Bones) - Oneshot

A kidnapping was the last thing any of you expected. 

Especially with Sweets. While you had been through such situations before, you noticed the subtle changes in Sweets when the team finally found the both of you and stopped the killer.

Your suspect was a crazed maniac. Someone who took people from their loved ones, tortured them and enjoyed watching others in pain. Both you and Sweets had taken a few hits. Maybe endured a broken rib or two. Through the entire encounter you barely flinched. You knew your team would find you. Stop the monster. Sweets showed the same level of strength even when he was being tortured.

At the time he was fearless.

However, when the adrenaline wore off and you both had been admitted to the hospital after the apprehension of the most recent criminal. You heard him the first night. You’d snuck out your room to visit his room just to make sure he was alright. He was having a nightmare. It wasn’t loud enough to disturb other patients considering he was in an enclosed room. But when you stepped in and closed the door, you were worried. He was screaming, almost crying in his sleep.

That night you sat by his side and held his hand.

The days carried on. Every time you visited him, he wore a brave face. He smiled when the others would make their individual or collective visits. You wore the usual stoic gaze and they just all smiled and laughed, thankful that you both were both safe.

It took about three weeks for you both to actually be released. After an assessment you were both cleared for duty. Booth kept a steady eye on you, but after a day or two he confirmed that you were fine.

You however, kept an eye on Sweets.

“Come on Sweets, you wanna join us for a little field work?” Booth was grinning and Sweets laughed.

“As much as I would love to join your little rampage, I still think our current suspect has more to tell us. I’m going to work with her a little longer.”

Booth shrugged.

“Suit yourself. Let’s go, Bones.”

Brennan didn’t need any more convincing. They both paced out of the room, ready to chase another lead.

You looked his way and he sent you a smile before he turned and left. Had you been convinced by the smile, maybe you would not have picked up on the slight tremble in his hand as he walked away.

You’d seen the reactions too many times in the past not to know what was going on.

You’re not blind. It’s just a little strange that no one else notices.

But then again, Sweets is the psychologist. He’s the one usually reading behavior and explaining the reasons behind it.

He might have even gotten away with it if you hadn’t picked up on the way he would flinch anytime you showed up without announcing yourself.

Much like today.

“I really wish you all wouldn’t barge into my office whenever you please.”

It was meant to sound playful. He always complained about the way no one really ever made an appointment. They were either late for their actual meetings or just showed up at inconvenient times.

“What can I help you with Ms. (L/N)?”

He was standing right behind the chair he would usually be sitting in, comfortable.

In control.

At ease.

None of these characteristics were present right now.

“You’re showing early signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.”

He should know you well enough to understand that you didn’t sugarcoat anything.

From his complete stillness, you knew he hadn’t planned to be discovered.

“But I’m sure you know that. I'm a very observant person Dr. Sweets. You’ve been laughing and making obnoxious comments about the encounter in hopes that it’ll calm your unease. Brennan isn’t good at picking up on social cues and Booth thinks you’re just trying to be tough. But I’m not stupid. You’re trying to ignore the obvious because subconsciously you’ve already analyzed your behavior. It’s one thing to be oblivious to trauma, it’s another to know and understand all the trademarks for it.”

His face fell, and he slowly took a seat.

“I suppose I’m not a very good patient.” He states.

You shook your head, taking a seat right next to him. Sweets looks over, and you reach for him, taking his hand. He looks a bit astonished, because you know he’s noticed your need to always distance yourself.

“Do you know why my nickname was robot?”

“I assumed it was the tough exterior you adapted after your time at war.”

“It’s because I have a mild form of autism.”

Recognition begins to paint itself on his face.

“I know you thought the war closed me off.”

Given the fact that he’s dealt with countless cases like yours and Booth, you aren’t surprised that he would come to such a conclusion.

“In truth, I was rarely ever affected. Not like the others. On many levels I can relate to Dr. Brennan. She sees everything from a rational point of view. I’m the same. As a soldier when they told me to kill for the greater good, I did it without question. No matter the task, I completed it. My sergeant called me a robot because of my ability to obey what seemed like even the craziest orders without fail. I watched people return from war and fall apart yet I was unaffected. I’ve always known that I was different than most. I saw the world differently. I considered that I might have been a sociopath.”

Sweets shakes his head aggressively.

“No, sociopaths feel nothing. Not empathy, regret, guilt, nothing.”

You can’t help but crack a smile at his need to reassure you.

“I know. Before I was always just fighting by myself. Being a part of this team has given me a reason to fight for others. That was all I really needed. It’s not easy for me to express love the way you all do. So openly and free. But I know that this team means more to me than my own life. I would die for all of you. That’s why I know that you’ll push through this, because you’re the voice that tells us why we do what we do. You keep us all in check. Now it’s time to do the same for yourself.”

You give his hand a squeeze, and he nods, lowering his head.

“I’m going to take a leave of absence for the next month.” He informs.

The right choice.

“When you’re better, make sure you continue to badger the duo squad.”

When he lifts his head, he smiles.

“You know I will.” 

[n0ne0ftheab0ve]

the thing is. lestat loves louis's worst self.

and like. how utterly painfully scorchingly romantic. someone who loves the darkest parts of you, will never recoil from your worst impulses, will never deny you comfort shelter love for even the worst thing you could do.

but. how do you build an actual relationship with someone who doesn't care about your self-improvement? who doesn't support you growing and becoming your best self, who actively denigrates you for attempts at kindness and empathy? how do you navigate on the day to day with someone who wants nothing more than for you to behave monstrously?

and for louis, his entire life he feels he's been loved/accepted only conditionally. loved by his family only for his good deeds, for managing the household and taking care of his siblings. loved romantically only for fleeting moments, stolen away from the everpresent watchful eye of a homophobic society. loved in spite of the omnipresent racism pressing in on his every breath. so of course the deeply encompassing love lestat is offering him is enticing.

but i always say, for me, love is someone doing the dishes for you. doing a mundane, annoying, everyday task just so that your beloved doesn't have to do it. doing it consistently. it's fine to be swept off your feet by someone, but most of life involves being on your feet. love means being able to build a life with someone. and life is full of mundane annoyances. so your love must be able to deal with mundane annoyance.

and lestat has no intention of doing the dishes for louis.