#accept that they’ll try and sell you shit

[nonsense-and-puzzlement]

I feel like this site only exists to make money and this site selling us shit is the only way it can continue to exist without monetising us can and should co-exist

[goodnightmemes]

YELLOWJACKETS SEASON ONE SENTECE STARTERS

❛ So what do you think really happened out there? ❜

❛ All I know is that what happened was a tragedy. ❜

❛ Is this really how you thought your life was gonna turn out? ❜

❛ I don't give a shit what you meant, you smug little bitch. You don't know a fucking thing about my life. ❜

❛ Want a quickie in the bathroom? ❜

❛ I'm pretty sure it's exactly as bad as it looks. ❜

❛ I liked the saints. They were all so tragic. ❜

❛ You're the only one who's always been there for me. ❜

❛ You're the best friend I've ever had. You know that, right? ❜

❛ We agreed. Say no more than we have to, stay out of the public eye. ❜

❛ We're gonna need to change the bandages soon. And then hourly after that. ❜

❛ Are you trying to be adorable with me? Does that usually work for you? ❜

❛ You are so mad. And yet so wrong. ❜

❛ You crazy fucking bitch. ❜

❛ If you maybe want to maybe get a drink another 20 years from now, you'll know how to reach me. ❜

❛ They'll be here to rescue us by morning. ❜

❛ If poison ivy's what kills me out here, then I deserve to die. ❜

❛ We think we know what we're doing, but really we have no clue. ❜

❛ Wolves can kill anything if the pack's big enough. ❜

❛ If you want me busting kneecaps, it's gonna cost extra. ❜

❛ You know, you can learn so much about a person by going through their personal refuse. ❜

❛ You two are the worst for each other, and I don't want to pull you out of that toxic shit again. ❜

❛ It's so easy for you to judge others with your perfect life, right? ❜

❛ We might be stuck in the middle of nowhere, but, hey, at least there's porn. ❜

❛ You're beautiful when you're honest. ❜

❛ Well, mainly, I've just been trying to channel you, so I've been being dark and deadpan. ❜

❛ Oh, please don't be mad. It's a really long drive home, and uncomfortable silences make me uncomfortable. ❜

❛ The worst is behind us, okay? We're gonna be fine. ❜

❛ Are you kidding me right now? "A bad feeling"? I don't believe in that shit, and you're not going to either. ❜

❛ I don't know what you're so scared of. You've already got blood on your hands. ❜

❛ I think bad things happened here. ❜

❛ I think we should get together and strategize. You know, pop a few pins on the old corkboard. ❜

❛ Look, you can follow me or not, just don't slow me down. ❜

❛ Is this some kind of sex thing? ❜

❛ I can already smell the ghosts of hangovers past. ❜

❛ Has anyone ever told you your obsession with biographical minutia is the opposite of a turn-on? ❜

❛ I know when you look at me, you don't see someone you should be afraid of, but, you're wrong. ❜

❛ Okay. Yes, ma'am/sir. I'll perfectly calibrate my tone as I tell you to go fuck yourself. ❜

❛ You had to know I was, like, totally in love with you, right? ❜

❛ It doesn't matter how shitty of parents they are. It still fucks you up when they're gone. ❜

❛ I don't understand why I'm the only one in this family who thinks that actions should have consequences. ❜

❛ Well, you've never been good at being anything other than yourself. Honestly, it's your superpower. ❜

❛ You can't keep not pitching in. People are noticing. ❜

❛ I don't belong here, and I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. ❜

❛ Wait, is this a pep talk? Wow, that is so not your style. ❜

❛ Cheering people up is your thing. ❜

❛ You make people feel like things are gonna be okay just by showing up and...being your dumb, hot, awesome self. At least you always did that for me. ❜

❛ I feel like I just look like I fell off a Fifty Shades of Grey bus tour. ❜

❛ I just had a brainstorm. We should have a seance. ❜

❛ You're so not fine. Do you think I can't see that? ❜

❛ You poisoned me. Why? ❜

❛ Why can't you accept the possibility that there are things in this world we don't understand? ❜

❛ Please. Promise me you won't do anything stupid. ❜

❛ I'd sell my firstborn for a cheesesteak right now. ❜

❛ I am beyond upset. I don't even know who the hell you are right now. ❜

❛ It's not your fault. What happened. ❜

❛ I can't imagine how exhausting it must've been, always comparing yourself to someone so beautiful and smart. ❜

❛ You know, for someone who went through some shit of their own, it never ceases to amaze me how shut off you are to help. ❜

❛ I have no regrets. None. And I want you to know that. ❜

❛ I think I'm seeing things. In the Bible, people had visions, right? Like prophets and stuff? ❜

❛ I don't want to die! ❜

❛ The '50 s called, they want your dumbass attitude back. ❜

❛ Goodnight. Sleep tight. Don't let the fact that you're a terrible person keep you up tonight. ❜

❛ You're not gonna talk me out of this. ❜

❛ And who knows? With you as our fearless fucking leader, we might actually make it. ❜

❛ I know that this makes me, like, this totally selfish asshole, but I don't want you to go, okay? ❜

❛ You're obviously hiding something from me, and it's making me feel crazy. ❜

❛ What did I do? When did you stop wanting me to be your best friend? ❜

❛ I'm just saying, you know, if this was a horror movie, she'd be the villain, right? ❜

❛ Not the first time I've been held hostage. ❜

❛ You see, that is what we call leverage in my line of work. Let me go, and I'll tell you everything I know. ❜

❛ You only have leverage if I am not willing to make you talk, which, in this case, means that you have no leverage at all. ❜

❛ You guys are just as fucked-up as I am. You're just better at lying to yourselves. You're not healthy. You're not stable. You're living on the brink, just like me. ❜

❛ Every single cell in your body wants to blow things up and see what happens. That's who you are. ❜

❛ You know what? I really thought that we had something. Okay? And I thought this was… ❜

❛ I hate to break it to you, but we were just fucking. And your whole high school crush on me was really cute, but now it's just pathetic. ❜

❛ If this is an anniversary present, you are three months and my entire personality off. ❜

❛ Relationships are bullshit anyway. Trust me. Whatever you did, she'll get over it. ❜

❛ I'm pretty much the best friend you have right now. And that's not much of a competition, is it? ❜

❛ If I'm being honest, not a single one of those things felt...real. ❜

❛ I'm the reason she went. And I'm the reason she got hurt. ❜

❛ It's like if someone made me feel "it" ... it wasn't gonna be good for anybody, you know? ❜

❛ There is no "safe" anymore. ❜

❛ I wish I'd never fucking met you. ❜

❛ You don't understand. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you... Please. I am begging you. Please. Please, just go. ❜

❛ Hey. Look, nothing has happened yet. We can still fix this. Just need you to put down the knife. And we can talk this through. ❜

❛ We'll drink rotten berries and celebrate our impending death. ❜

❛ You were never supposed to get involved in this. It just... It got out of control. ❜

❛ What do you mean, you killed someone? Like you murdered someone? ❜

❛ I can't believe you thought I was going to book club this whole time. ❜

❛ When did we become these people who lie and cheat and do awful things and just stay together because…'cause why? ❜

❛ We've always been these people. Secrets have always been a part of us. ❜

❛ You could've talked to me about that, you know. For a long time, I thought maybe you might, but… ❜

❛ Friendship doesn't matter. Love doesn't matter. They're just things that we use to pretend we aren't gonna end up like dead cabin guy; like rotted-out husks in some bullshit attic. ❜

❛ Don't you understand? You don't matter anymore. ❜

❛ That's enough of your weird fucking bullshit. Haven't you done enough? ❜

❛ 12% of all killers are caught buying cleaning supplies. Also, regular bleach leaves behind hemoglobin for the luminol tests. ❜

❛ I think what you mean to say is, "Hi, [name]. It's so great to see you after all this time. Thanks for swinging by and helping us cover up a murder." ❜

❛ You know, gardening, PTA, dismembering my lover's corpse. ❜

❛ I saw something. After...it happened. I don't think I was dead. But I wasn't really alive, either. I think I was, like...In-between. ❜

❛ I know what I saw. I don't know what it meant. But I know I saw something. Something was out there with us. ❜

❛ We just howl at the moon now and have fucking orgies? ❜

❛ You're so obsessed with yourself, I'm surprised you're aware other people even exist. ❜

❛ I'm not jealous of you. I feel sorry for you. Because you're weak. And I think that deep down, you know it. ❜

❛ I'd say it was soul-crushing, if I remembered what it felt like to have one. ❜

❛ So glad you're joining us. We've been waiting for you. ❜

[prodigaldaughteralice]

personal medication shit

so I’m really stressed and miserable about how I haven’t been able to get anything done lately (or ever, but especially lately), right? I’m supposed to be halfway through my big bang fic and while I guess I technically am (three chapters, one is done, another is about halfway done) it doesn’t feel like it since I wrote that whole first chapter pretty easily and I think the other two are going to be much harder

also the thing that made me and also my doctor really realize that there’s something weird about how my body processes medication— doctor’s best guess is basically that my liver’s an overachiever, which is why painkillers do nothing and birth control makes my cycle more irregular rather than less and my antidepressants are at the highest dose they’ll let you take and they only kinda help, but we don’t know for sure that’s why and my health insurance sure isn’t gonna pay for further tests— is that I tried to get ADHD meds and they did… nothing.

usually, for people who have ADHD, those meds help them settle and focus, while for people who don’t, those meds hype them up and make them really energetic. That’s why people use them illicitly as party pills. But they did neither of those things to me. They did nothing.

And I’m worried about trying to raise the dose and try again because I’m afraid of serotonin syndrome because I am as previously mentioned on the highest dose of antidepressants they’ll let me take, so much so my doctor had to remind my insurance he really did prescribe that like four times and they still tried to deny me coverage. Also I live with my parents and they don’t know I’ve tried ADHD meds at all because my mum thinks ADHD was made up to sell amphetamines, so it’s not like I can get their support on this.

but at the same time I’m so afraid of trying to live the rest of my life like this, with so many intentions and so few results, sitting with an open word document in front of me and mentally screaming because I’m full of fuzz and I can’t capture my own mind and make it do anything— anything! Not the things that are important, not even the things I like!

technically I should be grateful for my liver being an overachiever because with hindsight it’s probably why I was able to survive my overdose a decade ago. Not that I wanted to at the time but y’know. I’m well aware now that my life is not my own, it belongs in part to my family and loved ones and they’d be pretty fucked up if I was gone— even if rationally they’d be better off without me, humans aren’t rational, and I’ve accepted that. I’m here for the long haul. But being like this for the long haul is. Not appealing.

it’s terrifying, actually

[jewwyfeesh]

Recollections And Heartfelt Wishes 4

Writer: Mitsuki

Character(s): Oogami Koga, Kiryu Kuro, Nito Nazuna, Otogari Adonis, Mashiro Tomoya

Translated by: stcrfeesh

CN/EN Proof by: jewwyfeesh

Nazuna: You don’t wanna scare the kids away, right? Why don’t you try dressing up as a mascot?

Season: Summer Location: Amusement Park Stage

Koga: Whew… Playin’ the entire mornin’s pretty tiring too, huh. I mean, I’m not hungry, since I bought snacks while I was at it. I just need to look for a place to rest, that’s all.

Adonis: Hm. This place sells quality meat, I could already smell the fragrance from a mile away. I couldn’t help but want to try them all…

All the rides here are pretty interesting too. Whether it’s an adult or a child, anyone would enjoy it.

Oogami, thanks for inviting me here today.

Koga: Man, what are you even thankin’ me for~ ‘Sides, Kiryu-senpai gave me these tickets, and I don’t wanna be ungrateful, so let’s have some fun today, a’ight?

Lemme take a look at the map… right now, we’re probably near the stage area. There clearly ain’t any performances goin’ on up there, but a bunch of people are all gathered ‘round.

Adonis: Really…? But there’s nothing on the brochure about any performances being held at this time either. Could there be a different event?

Nazuna: …… ♪

Adonis: Huh? That guy below the stage distributing flyers to people, isn’t that Nito-senpai?

There’s a group of kids playing with the mascot next to him too. They seem like they’re having fun.

Koga: Well, no shit… We should probably go there and greet senpai, but it looks like that guy’s busy. He might not have the time to entertain us.…?

Why’s that mascot walking towards us? Could it be that someone else from Ra*bits is wearin’ that mascot?

Adonis: Based on the height of that thing, I wouldn’t say it could be…

Kuro: Phew… I could finally take a breather… this thing’s pretty hot to be in if you wear it for too long.

Oh, Oogami, Otogari, are the both of you havin’ fun?

Adonis: Kiryu-senpai…?

Koga: Huh… I already guessed that you’d probably show up today, but I didn’t think you’d show up like this, in a mascot… I think it’s a fresh look on you.

Kuro: Haha, ya think so? To be honest, I never thought that I’d be dressin’ up as a mascot at an amusement park either.

[An hour ago.]

Nazuna: Kuro-chin! Thanks for watching us perform today! I immediately spotted you from the crowd earlier, you know~

Kuro: Haha, you guys did great today, Nito. Who knew it would suit Ra*bits to perform at an amusement park? The atmosphere instantly became lively, even.

Nazuna: Well, we did practise for hours so we could do well on this gig. Just being able to see everyone with the biggest smiles on their faces, is already the best reward we could receive ♪

Tomoya: Nii~chan! Uhm, uh… could I talk to you about something for a sec?

So, you see, when I went to meet with the amusement park’s staff earlier, they asked us for an extension with promoting the special event they’ll be hosting this Summer since our performance earlier garnered a good response from the audience, and all.

The thing is, Hajime and Mitsuru won’t be able to stay any longer since they still have work scheduled for later. I was sceptical about accepting the job, cause what if it would be too much for just you and me to handle…

Nazuna: Hm… This side of the park is much more crowded compared to anywhere else, so it might not be doable if it’s just us both…

Though, this could also be a great opportunity to promote Ra*bits… We also attracted a bunch of people that could be potential fans during our performance earlier. If this is the case, then it would be better to go with the flow of things.

It might be difficult, yeah, but if we give it our all—

Kuro: Ah, I more or less understand your predicament. Your issue here is that you lack manpower. Let me help you out, then.

Nazuna: Huh? No way! How could I possibly make you do that? I invited you here to have fun, not get you to work with me!

Kuro: You don’t have to worry about that. I could visit the amusement park anytime if I wanted to. What isn’t acceptable is turnin’ a blind eye to a friend who’s clearly in need.

Nazuna: Well, if you say so… thanks, Kuro-chin! Uhuu, I really don’t know how else to properly thank you…!

Kuro: Haha, ‘sno problem. Anyways, why don’t ya tell me what needs to be done?

Tomoya: I already talked things through with the staff, would you mind if we did things like this?

Kiryu-senpai, you and I would be stationed at the opposite ends of the plaza distributing balloons, and then Nii~chan who’s got more experience with this will handle the distribution of flyers and answer any follow-up questions the people might have about the event.

Kuro: A’ight, roger that. Don’t worry, I’ve got this.

Nazuna: Everything’s settled, then! Let’s do our best, everyone ♪

Kuro: (Usin’ balloons for promotion… that does make sense. After all, kids would probably prefer cute things like these over a flyer.)

(If that’s the case, then it shouldn’t be a problem to strike up a conversation first, would it?)

Hey there, bud. This blue balloon’s for ya, I hope you have lots of fun today.

…Oi, don’t run backwards! You might… fall…

……

Nazuna: Kuro-chin, you don’t seem to be into this… Don’t force yourself, okay?

Kuro: …Sorry, Nito. I don’t think ‘m suitable for this type of job after all…

I really tried my best to put on the kindest smile I could muster, but in the end, no one wanted a balloon from me… Hell, I even scared a kid to tears.

His parents assured me and said t’was all good, but I still couldn’t help but feel awful.

Nazuna: No, no, you don’t have to feel bad, you did nothing wrong. It’s actually my fault for not thinking things through…

(No, I won’t have it! I can’t let Kuro-chin leave here with a bad memory! He’s the kindest, most gentle guy I know… how can I make everyone else see that…?)

…I’ve got it! We could try that!

You don’t wanna scare the kids away, right? Why don’t you try dressing up as a mascot?

Kuro: So that’s how I ended up lookin’ like this.

A’ight, I should probably go back to help ‘em out. It’s still quite early, you guys should go around and enjoy the park.

Adonis: Are you really going to be alright, Kiryu-senpai? You’ve barely even rested.

Kuro: Haha, don’t underestimate my strength, buddy. This thing’s got nothin’ on the intense trainin’ I always do.

Though, I dunno what’s goin’ on Mashiro’s end, he seems to have more balloons left to give away. I’ll try to check up on him and help him out in a bit.

Koga: Oi! If it’s manpower you need, then you already should’ve just said so! I literally have nothin’ else to do!

Promotin’ shit’s a piece of cake to me! Either way, me just acceptin’ those tickets from ya, ain’t sittin’ right with me.

Adonis: Oogami’s right. Many hands do make light work, after all. Besides, I want to help senpai out too, so please leave this to me.

Kuro: Haha, you guys are pretty insistent, huh. Well, if you guys really insist, follow me.

← Chapter 3 | ES x LC Masterlist | Chapter 5 →

[inmh01]

I’ve seen the argument before that librarians and booksellers should not be allowing children to buy adult novels because it’s morally wrong to hand something mature to a child.

As a bookseller, you could not pay me to police what kids in my store buy. That’s their parents’ jobs, not mine. They’re the ones who need to monitor what their kids are consuming and regulate that shit if they have a problem with it; libraries and bookstores are not substitute parents and our jobs are hard enough without parents whining that we sold their eleven year-old a Colleen Hoover book.

Who gave them the money, Janet? Who drove them home without ever once asking what it was they bought, Janet? Why are you letting your kid spend hours on TikTok, which is where Colleen Hoover is getting so much traction from, Janet? Why are you not engaging with your child about what they’re reading and setting content limits from the get-go, Janet?

I’ve also had to contend with fellow booksellers being all “ugggh why do we still sell Harry Potter, JK Rowling is BAD”

Yeah, hate to break it to you, but the Harry Potter books and associated merchandise still sells obscenely well. It’s not going anywhere no matter how problematic you find the author to be.

They’ll happily whine and bitch about censorship when it’s conservative complaining about a book, but they’ll happily talk about throwing certain books in the trash or (I’ve never witnessed someone do this, but I’ve heard them “joke” about it) deliberately damaging one so we have to mark it out.

It’s fucking ridiculous. Grow up and accept that not every piece of media is going to validate your world view and way of thinking. Stop trying to destroy everything that makes you uncomfortable.

“Authors should not be ALLOWED to write about–” you are an anti-intellectual and functionally a conservative

“This book should be taken off of shelves for featuring–” you are an anti-intellectual and functionally a conservative

“Schools shouldn’t teach this book in class because–” you are an anti-intellectual and functionally a conservative

“Nobody actually likes or wants to read classics because they’re–” you are an anti-intellectual and an idiot

“I only read YA fantasy books because every classic novel or work of literary fiction is problematic and features–” you are an anti-intellectual and you are robbing yourself of the full richness of the human experience.

[eyeliner-and-c1garettes]

I’m going to be honest. I’m having a hard time lately.

I don’t like getting older. Everyone talks about their twenties as if it’s some great thing, this stupid promise of freedom that I forcefed myself delusions about when I was a teenager. That I’d be this best selling writer and well accomplished person by twenty four. That Id be out of my town proving to everyone else that they underestimated me. And maybe that’s still on the way for me, down the line, but god I wanted it to be now. With COVID, and all this other shit in my life, I miss my friends. I miss my creativity. I miss my parents having more moments of being easier on me.

I swore to myself that I’d never set foot in a school setting again. Especially a high school. And I am again, for a job, as an employee. And I’m afraid. It’s not my first pick. I tried everything, every other route and I’m not good enough for these places. Everything in life has forced me on the path to teaching jobs and I’ve been fighting hard. I’m afraid, that’s what it is. I’m afraid of being like my mother. I’m afraid that these kids aren’t gonna like me, that they’ll be brutal to me behind my back. I could just laugh and say I don’t give two shits but I won’t. My inner child will. My inner child will be screaming at me, she’s my worst critic for making me feel inadequate with myself. I was supposed to be more than this, but she didn’t see any of life’s events come my way either. That’s the beauty of an unreliable narrator, right?

My mom hasn’t changed. She’s being just as hard on me now as she was when I was a teenager, making me feel less satisfied in everything I do, and guilting me for not wanting to do tasks at hand. It’s not “how are you sweetie?” Or “wow! You did this thing that made you happy!” It’s always about chores, pointed questions about what I haven’t done, side eyeing shit I did, or questions about a summer job. I feel so inadequate. I’m doing everything I should, everything they encouraged, and they’re giving me an even harsher time. Especially her. I didn’t have to struggle like she did, can’t she be happy ? No. She has to be the stress, because she was stressed, and she wants me to feel the same way she did. And it’s going to work. I’m going to leave this place running away into a man’s arms just like she did.

I miss things and the way they made me feel, and being unaware that nothing has changed, just me here in this house. It doesn’t matter how many makeup looks I do, or haircuts I get, or how many times I try and pray to god for them to change, my parents will never change. And I cannot accept it, when I have changed so much. She’s never satisfied with anything I do unless it benefits her in a way. I don’t understand how she became so selfish. Maybe she has a right to be, after all these years of stretching herself thin. But maybe that’s the case. Sometimes I feel like it’s my fault. I blame myself becuase I don’t know how else to help.

[ippid]

No Pressure

Chapter – 1

Walking alongside the Haeundae beach in Busan, South Korea when it’s chilly outside, in a hoodie and some cargo pants was not one of Naruto’s greatest ideas. But let’s be real here, it’s definitely not the worst she’s done before. Just look at her childhood. That could arguably be summed up as one big dumb idea. Then when she was a teenager, and actually got taught stuff, you’d think she would improve in that department, but no she still made dumb decisions.

Well actually if you ask Naruto she’d say those weren’t dumb decisions but very original ones. And who could argue with that? When Naruto always got shit done. Crazy methods or not. And anyway, she’s keeping people around her on their toes, and it’s better than living a boring life.

She’d tried that when she was younger and still wanted everybody’s attention. Tried doing things how normal people would do them. Tried showing restraint and stop being so weird. But she quickly realized nobody treated her any different from when she was just being herself. So she might as well then.

Be herself, that is.

And she was better for it. It made her happy and in the end she realized that’s all that matters. Not anybody else’s opinion, not anybody else’s suggestions about her personality or choice in outfits, her long hair or her way of talking, walking, speaking. She didn’t care anymore, and it liberated her. She felt so free when she just let it all go. And it was the best feeling ever.

But it didn’t last.

Not because she let anybody get to her again, but because she didn’t. And she wouldn’t hear the end of it. Everywhere around her, people kept talking about her. Everyone and their mother had something to say about her and her life. At first, it was fine because she’s used to ignoring every negative thing people say about her. She’s had her whole life to get used to that. But the problem is that they’re not necessarily negative things they say anymore.

After the war, she just wanted to finally get back home and crash in her bed for maybe 50 hours straight. Just to try to fix that bone deep exhaustion she felt when she was finally done fighting. She didn’t expect there to be so many people back home who now saw her as a hero. It was weird. It was unusual. At first, she didn’t think it was aimed at her. All those adoring eyes, large smiles and reaching hands. Until she realized that, yes, they were aimed at her. And instead of making her feel good- because wasn’t this what she wanted her entire life?- she felt very weird instead.

It took her a while to figure out what it was she was feeling.

She was uncomfortable.

So much so, that she didn’t even want to be seen any more by the public.

These people have never liked her. Have scorned her and hated her when she wasn’t even responsible for anything they kept accusing her of. Years of hatred towards her, and people expect her to be okay with accepting everyone now that she has ‘reached her dream’. Shit like that cannot be erased overnight.

And the funny thing is, with everyone else that would be logical. Accepted even. But she had always been held to a different standard than the rest. And the longer she stayed there, surrounded by all these fake people, the more she kept realizing that these people will never see her. Truly see her. They just assume everything and walk all over her. Make decisions on her behalf like she couldn’t do it herself. They look at her and think they’ve got her figured out, when that’s not the case at all. Most people won’t even know her favorite color.  They’d say it’s obviously orange because that’s all she ever wears. They’ll assume without ever asking her, like they know all about her already. But her favorite color is not orange, and they don’t, in fact, know anything at all.

She wanted to scream that she could not get anything other than that color when she was younger. Because these people that glorified her now, were the same people that wouldn’t sell her anything other than the shit nobody else would wear. And overpriced at that. But Naruto is an opportunist if nothing else, and she wore that orange jumpsuit (read monstrosity) with all the pride she could muster. It made people see her even if they didn’t want to.  And back then that’s all that mattered to her. Back when she still cared about what they had to say.

Years went by and the treatment didn’t change. It was starting to get on her nerves more and more every day. But the worst hadn’t come yet. No, the worst was finally realizing that it wasn’t just the people that didn’t know her. It was the people she considered her friends that didn’t even know her. Sakura never talked to her about what she would call ‘girl stuff’. Never talked about clothes or nice hairstyles. About cute boys or the future. She only did that with the other girls. The ones she saw as feminine and assuming Naruto wasn't interested. It took her a while to realize because she was so incredibly busy every damn second of the day after the war, but all her so-called friends were like that. Sakura was hanging out with their other friends every time, while she only ever came to Naruto to complain about something or to use her as a test subject. She didn’t care for her. Her other friends were the same. Never coming to her and asking her how she’s doing, but if they needed something, they expected her at their beck and call.

And she couldn’t really blame them for that at first. Not when she was always so desperate for acknowledgement when she was younger. She practically said yes to everyone, because it made her feel special and wanted. It took her years to realize it for what it was. They were just using her. Always have. And get this, they always will too. That realization came in the form of her ‘friends’ berating her for saying no to a random civilian who kept harassing her for an autograph. As if they couldn’t see how it made her feel. Or maybe they could and just didn’t care. It should have probably hurt more than it did. But as it was, all she could feel was relief. It felt like one big weight was lifted off her shoulders.

Because it made her stop and think about everything. Really think. What was she doing here? What was the purpose of living her life so miserably? When was she going to just think about herself for once? She hasn’t even discovered what she likes to do in her free time as a person, and she’s already 20 years old. It just wouldn’t do. She had to get out. Had to leave this place because she realized it’s this place that kept her back all this time. She couldn’t even remember why she was so attached to the village. Why? It never did anything for her, so why?

The answer came from her longest companion. Kurama. He’s been with her since she was born and even though she didn’t know about him until she graduated from the academy, she has always felt him. She thought she was hallucinating and making things up. People who have no one in their life tend to do that. But she learned the truth when that Mizuki bastard shouted the truth in her face. Well, half-truth. She’s not the Kyuubi, after all. She only has him sealed inside of her. But whatever. She knew the truth after that and stopped at nothing to at least create a bond with him. If no one else, then maybe this ‘monster’ inside her would accept her. No one else would anyway, so she’s got nothing to lose really.

It took her a long time. He was bitter, angry, spiteful and incredibly stubborn. But she was stubborn too, and eventually she wore him down. Not enough for him to like her, but enough for him to accept her and tolerate her. He became someone she would ramble to about her feelings because there was no one else she felt would actually listen to her. And that’s what he did. Even though he kept pretending to find it annoying and irritating how she kept coming back, he eventually just accepted her. It wasn’t until after the war that they had a good bond with each other. He became a good friend and even though he would never say it out loud, she knew he valued their friendship just as much as she did.

So when she was having her little existential crisis and felt him calling her into the seal, she didn’t hesitate and went to see him straight away. And how enlightening that had been. He cleared everything up for her. Everything she didn’t notice about her life or chose to ignore. How it wasn’t a coincidence that she ended up seeing those shinobi perform such ‘amazing’ feats back when she was so little. How it was staged, so she could ‘choose’ to become a shinobi of her own free will. Like she ever had a real choice in the matter. As the village weapon, she would never be allowed to become anything other than a ninja. How the Sandaime who she looked up to so much always encouraged her to ‘follow her dreams’ while laying out exactly what her dreams should be. How she was manipulated since the beginning and kept dumb, so she was easily moldable. She had thought the Sandaime (her grandfather figure) had not known about how she was treated at school, about the extra hard tests and the refusal of the teachers to actually teach her. Even if he hadn’t known, it became clear to Naruto that he should have. He should have known about this, and it was weird if he didn’t. So that could only mean one thing. He knew, and he didn’t do anything about it. Maybe even ordered it.

She was so angry. And that anger only kept increasing the more she heard from Kurama. He had never lied to her before. He wouldn’t start now. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do now. How could she keep living among these people? Fight and die for these people when they couldn’t even have the decency to treat her like the human being she was.

She also didn’t understand why Kurama hadn’t told her all of this sooner. If he noticed so much, then why did he never say anything? Well, turns out he tried, and she didn’t want to hear it at the time. Too conditioned to believe in the village and it’s leaders. Too used to not getting answers when she asked for them, so she stopped asking. He had felt she was finally ready to hear the truth, and he was right. But that didn’t mean she suddenly knew what she was going to do. If this entire path was laid out for her, then who was she? Who was she now that she knew of all this? She didn’t know, and she felt an incredible urge to go and discover for herself.

She had to get out. Find herself and likely never return here. But..she couldn’t do that. They would never let her leave. She was being groomed all this time, now she could not leave and stop being a ninja, so she had to figure out another way.

And find another way, she did. She called for a vacation. Claimed she never had any real rest after the war three years ago and doesn’t want to go into the office exhausted without taking some time for herself. It was easy. It was laughable, really. This was probably the first time she was incredibly grateful that none of these people knew her. They had such blind faith in the fact that she would come back, they never even questioned her.

But it worked out fine for her. She packed her bags and made a run for Uzushio. Her mother’s homeland. If there was any place she would be able to find out more about what happened to her mothers home, it would be there.

And find out she did.

Finding a hidden seal under all the rubble on the abandoned island was the first step in the decisions she would be making for her future. In that incredibly big chamber underneath the island, she found everything. Information about what happened years ago. How the other villages worked together to eradicate the Uzumaki clan and worst of all, how Konoha, her village and their allies, never helped. Never sent aid and never did anything to even remember their fallen allies. The village doesn’t teach anyone about Uzushio and how great they were. It’s like they never existed in the first place. It made her so sad. She cried for days about her lost legacy. About what she could have been taught if her mother was still there. How she had missed so much and trusted the wrong people.

Throughout it all, Kurama was there for her. Helping her understand the events better, since he was sealed inside her mother before her. He knew how her mother was treated as an outsider in the village that was supposed to protect her. He told her everything he knew, and in the end she couldn’t shed any more tears. She was so, so angry. But even that emotion felt muted.

She had to learn more about her legacy. She wouldn’t accept anything less.

So she did. She spent nearly an entire month, day in and day out, inside that chamber. Learning everything her clan had documented and preserved. She learned of the beauty of Uzushio and the whirlpools that protected her. She learned about the island and the people living on it. Learned what the Uzumaki were like and how she would have fit in so well if she had just had the chance to meet them. How she wasn’t weird or crazy, and how she had a whole clan of people like her. But not anymore. She didn’t have that anymore, and it was all because of these shinobi. If she hadn’t been sure about never returning to her village again, then she sure would be after learning all of this.

But all this information also taught her something else. She wouldn’t ever be left alone. She wasn’t expecting it either, but she could handle one village. She could probably handle all the villages, to be honest. But the thing was, she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to deal with these crazy people. They would make her out to be the bad guy. Tell her she’s delusional, and she shouldn’t be abandoning her friends like that. And if they realize she couldn’t be brought back, they would spread lies about her, so other villages would send their shinobi after her too. Because a threat in the ninja world could never be allowed to live. Her clan was the biggest example. Even if she was the strongest ninja alive right now -yes, Sasuke wasn’t even close to her power-she still wouldn’t put it past some crazy obsessed and delusional moron to find a way to capture her. She’s not dumb. She won’t let something as stupid as cockiness be her downfall.

She had to get out. As in, out of this entire world. It’s not impossible considering Kaguya kept flinging her in different dimensions. She just had to figure out how to do it. And what better way than her amazing clan’s most known technique? Seals.

She studied like hell. She didn’t think there was ever anything she was more motivated for. She learned every single thing there was to know about sealing and experimented with the easier ones before she got started on the big one that would hopefully remove her from this entire reality. She wanted to go to a world without shinobi.

In the end, it took her three months to come up with a seal array she was confident in and finalize it. It was an incredibly long process, and the shadow clones she sent out under a henge during that time for food and all other necessities reported back about the search parties going out for her. She didn’t have much time left and would need to finish fast. Otherwise, everything would be for nothing.

She packed every single thing inside that chamber into sealing scrolls. She stored them inside the sealing tattoos she had put on her body and sent clones out to buy her anything she might need from this world. Anything that came to mind. Good weapons, durable clothes and of course lots of ramen. She could never be too sure, after all.

While her clones were out there completing the task she set out for them, she sat down to have the dreaded conversation with Kurama. She couldn’t be selfish. She couldn’t just expect him to leave everything and come with her. Unlike her, who doesn’t have anything keeping her here, he still has siblings in this world, and it would be cruel of her to rip that away. But when she got inside the seal, she was met with his unamused expression. He told her flat out that he was not going anywhere but with her. There was no way he would stay here in this cursed world. She couldn’t even get a word in before he shushed her and told her he would never abandon her. There was no way she would leave without him. It made her tear up so much, she jumped on him in a hug.

They would leave together and never look back. She was so excited. She was finally going to be living for herself. Not for anybody else. No more fighting, no more wars and manipulations. No more death and betrayal. She was going to live life to the fullest and try every new little thing she comes across in her new reality. And she wouldn’t ever regret choosing herself.

A couple of hours later and she was ready. She stood in the middle of her enormous sealing array and took a deep breath before she pumped as much chakra into the seal as she could. Hopefully she would land somewhere where they speak the same language as her. She had put it in the seal, but whether it will work or not is a mystery still. Even if she doesn’t then she will just have to figure it out. Like she always does.

Those were the last thoughts she had before finally feeling herself being pulled backwards and loosing consciousness.

꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦

And like that, she ended up here in this world. Where she’s been for the past 12 years. It was amazing. She was happy. She had everything she could ever wish for, and she feels like her life is finally hers. Hers to live, hers to enjoy and hers to experience. That’s why she’s here now, at the beach with a big bag full of fast-food she just purchased. She was planning to walk down the beach and find a nice little place to rest and enjoy her food.

There weren’t many people around. It was pretty chilly this time of year at the beach, and people here in Korea would rather spend their time inside during this weather. She was grateful. This way she could enjoy the scenery better. 

She walked past a couple of people and kept walking until she couldn’t see anyone around her anymore. The beach looked to be empty here, and she prepared to sit down to enjoy her delicious smelling food. She looked around one more time and froze when she noticed a figure sitting down about 100 meters from her. At first, she didn’t really mind and thought nothing of it. That was until she saw his expression. He looked like he was completely lost. Like he didn’t know what to do with himself. And Naruto didn’t want to pry, but she also knew very well how that felt. Emotion like that is not easy to deal with.  Especially on your own. Sometimes all you need is someone who can lend you their ear. Food is also a great way to cheer someone up. And well, Naruto has never been shy.

So with her mind made up, she approached the figure sitting all alone with his side to her. The closer she got, the more she recognized him. This was not just anybody. That was Jeon Jungkook of BTS. She had definitely heard of them and their music. They were amazing. But Naruto didn’t enjoy knowing too much personal information about a person she didn’t even know personally. It felt like a report. And it reminded her too much of where she came from. She preferred getting to know people themselves. All the images the media in this world creates about people, it just hit too close to home. She didn’t enjoy when it happened to her, so she wouldn’t pry with others either.

All she really knows about him is his name and position in the group. She kind of remembers him being around 24 or 25 years old. He’s still so young, and already she could tell he has a lot of pressure on him. But like mentioned earlier, she doesn’t claim to know anything about him.

This doesn’t mean she doesn’t listen to their music, though. They are amazing and very talented. It’s not going to change the fact that that expression is on his face right now. She could help him with that. She was good at making people relax and enjoy life. After all, she discovered how to do it herself too.

With that, she continued walking up to him quietly and sat next to him with some distance left in between them. He didn’t even acknowledge her. Someone as famous as him not realizing, or worse, not caring that someone is so close to him, kind of worried her. He’s clearly in deep thought.

She rummaged quietly through her bag and pulled out 2 burgers. She stretched her arm out towards him and spoke up, “Do you want a burger? You look like you need one.” He finally looked at her and his eyes widened a bit. She had expected that. After all these years, she is still a shinobi through and through. Even if he hadn’t been lost in thought, he likely would not have noticed her incredibly light footfalls.

He didn’t say anything, though, just kept staring at her. She sat waiting for a response which didn’t come and Naruto had never claimed to be incredibly patient, so she shook her arm and repeated, “Burger?”

After that, it looked like he snapped out of whatever he was thinking about, because he reached out and took the burger with a small bow in her direction. They sat quietly, both eating their respective meal and looking at the sea. It was a comfortable silence.

After she was done with her burger, she took out the rest of the bag’s contents and laid them out in between them, then gestured for him to grab whatever he wanted. “You can eat as much as you like. I know I will.” And she did. Naruto wasn’t the type of person to be embarrassed about her appetite. She knew she looked fine and even if she didn’t, that would be her business and her business alone.

After she devoured her third burger and started sipping on her milkshake, she notices him looking at her with his eyes widened again. His big doe eyes looked even bigger like this. It was almost comical. She raised her eyebrow at him. “What?” she asked. He swallowed his food and looked away. After some seconds, she finally heard him speak, “I’ve never seen a woman eat that much or that fast.”

She was silent for some time before she laughed. He turned back around to look at her. “I enjoy food, so I’ll eat as much as I want. I’ll definitely take that as a compliment!” She said.

He continued looking at her before going back to eating his meal. When they were finished, they stayed sitting in each other's company. After some time, she decided to ask, “Do you want to talk about it?” He looked at her then with a confused expression. “Talk about what?” he asked. “Whatever is bothering you.” She simply replied without taking her eyes off the soft waves of the ocean. “How do you know something is bothering me?” He asked again. “Is it that obvious?”

She finally looked at him and nodded her head. “You look like you got the weight of the world on your shoulders.”

He looked away again and sighed. She didn’t pry further. If he wanted to talk he could talk. If he didn’t then she was fine with that too. A couple of minutes went by in silence and Naruto had closed her eyes, enjoying the breeze through her hair. She could feel him looking at her but didn’t turn to look.

Eventually he started talking. He told her about how he left his home at a young age to pursue his dreams and grew up under a lot of pressure. How he was the youngest of his hyungs and how they basically raised him. He held a lot of love for them because of the amazing people that they were, but they all grew up now, and they’re going their separate ways for a while. How everybody is doing their own thing, and it seemed like an amazing idea at first because they could finally rest and take a break. Do what they want and focus on themselves.

He told her how, now that he has all this free time, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He doesn’t know what he wants and who he is without the busy schedule. He hates how he cannot do anything for himself without always thinking about the others. About how it will be perceived by the important people in his life, and how he feels trapped because of that. He told her about feeling like he’s already lived 2 full lives and yet hasn't lived at all. How he doesn’t understand how he should move forward now.

It was almost funny how much of herself she saw in him. He feels the same way she used to feel, and she could only be glad that it wasn’t the exact same circumstances as hers had been. Constant manipulation for her entire life. She knows that’s what a lot of idols go through also, but it’s a lot milder than hers had been. She hopes he didn’t have to go through that within his own company, but then again it could come from ‘fans’ too. The people that always have an opinion about another’s life like they have any say in it. He kind of strikes her as a perfectionist. Someone who wants to be the best at whatever he tries. And while there is nothing particularly wrong with that, it should never be the main focus of your life. Otherwise, you will never get any enjoyment out of anything you do.

While listening to his story, she could read between the lines. He’s famous, after all. And she knows a thing or two about being famous. He doesn’t feel like he is free, even now that he has free time, because of his fans. He cares a lot about them, but they still hold him back a lot. That type of comment can only come from someone who has tried and failed to do whatever it is that these fans of him don’t expect of him. Maybe he’s been drinking or partying where his fans could see, and the internet blew up. It’s quite possible. It doesn’t have to have been negative comments for him to feel trapped. If everyone is looking at you so closely then you’re bound to be scared, you eventually do something that the fans are not so happy with.

It's a very fine line he’s constantly walking and it could get very frustrating. No matter how much you love your fans and the people around you. This isn’t just a feeling you can brush away. It will stay and it will build up, and eventually you’ll explode.

By the end of his rant, he was heaving a little bit, and she looked over at him and grinned. “Feeling a bit better?” she said. He took a deep breath and nodded, “A little bit, yeah.” Then he looked at her and said, “Well? What’s your advice?” And Naruto is not Naruto if she doesn’t throw in a little prank to get rid of this somber mood. She schooled her features to look like she was concentrating real hard and leaned in close to his face. He startled and froze, staring at her with widened eyes again. She didn’t pay it any mind, and took her time looking all over his face. She noticed his long fluffy hair and nice eyebrows. His big nose suited his face perfectly. Pretty lips with a cute little mole underneath. He was incredibly handsome. She could see why people would be so obsessed with him. She had thought it would not be the same as when she saw them online, but she actually prefers how he looks now. No makeup and still insanely pretty.

After observing him for some seconds more, just to see him squirm a bit, she looked him in the eyes and said as seriously as she could “Nah, you’re a lost cause.” and leaned back. His eyes widened even more and his jaw dropped open. His expression was so funny, she couldn’t help but burst out laughing. He looked so shocked, and his big eyes were comical to see.

After some time, she got herself back together and calmed down a bit. She saw him silently chuckling to himself, and she beamed at him, “There it is, you’ve got a beautiful smile.” She said. And he did, she wouldn’t expect him to transform this much with just one smile. It made him look more alive, younger and definitely cuter. Whereas before he was this hot guy, now he looks endearing. Still hot, of course, but endearing.

He flustered a bit, looking away with some color on his cheeks before looking back and smiling at her. She smiled back, “I understand perfectly what you’re feeling. I went through the same thing.” She told him. He looked a bit doubtful and like he couldn’t believe it. He proved her right when he said, “Really? You look like a very happy person.” And she could understand. “Yes, I do. And I am. But I wasn’t always like this. I was in the exact same place as you.” She said, looking back to the water. “It took me a long time to realize how unhappy I was. How I didn’t want to live my life like that anymore, and I decided to do something about it.” She grinned and looked at him again. “You’re lucky, I know the secret to life. I’ll share it with you, but it’s going to cost you.” She said while looking at him playfully. He looked a bit disappointed and said “What?” like he was afraid she was going to ask for his firstborn or something, “Your payment is at least one smile a day. Even just to yourself. Think of something nice that makes you smile every day. That’s it.”

He looked taken aback, like he was not expecting that at all. He didn’t take long to agree though. He gave a smile and nodded, and she gave a sharp nod back before opening her mouth. “Live.” She said. “That is the secret.” She could see him about to no doubt say something very sarcastic, so she went on. “You’re not living now. You’re breathing, and you are alive, but you’re not living.” He closed his mouth. “Do you know what it means to live? It’s okay if you don’t because I didn’t know either back then. But I will save you the trouble of having to find out all on your own.” She took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes before telling him, “To live is to accept yourself wholeheartedly. To live is to put yourself first and to do what makes you happy. To live is to try new things and discover for yourself what you like and don’t like. It is to have struggles along the way and learn from them, so you can shape yourself into the person you would like to be. Not anyone else. But you.” She saw him looking back at her as if in a trance. So she continued, “Everyone on this entire planet, rich or poor, pretty or ugly, kind or mean, they will have an opinion. Do something like this and one person is satisfied, but countless others can’t help but share their dissatisfaction. Do the opposite and you still have the same result. It doesn’t matter how much you care for a certain person or people, if they cannot accept you when you are doing what makes you happy, then they should not be a priority in your life.” At this, she looked away. The corner of her mouth turned down a bit. Bad memories starting to come back.

She felt a warm feeling in her stomach. Kurama, letting her know he’s there. She smiled a small smile and continued, “Now that you have so much time, it doesn’t mean that you can’t fill your time up. You can do anything you want. Travel the world, go skiing for the first time, plant a tree in your backyard, try making something unique with only cardboard and duct tape. Learn a new fighting sport or a new language. You can do countless things. You just need to want it, and you can do it.”

She looked back over to him and saw him looking deep in thought. So she gathered her trash and stood up, gathering his attention. “I hope you don’t live your life for others, but for yourself first and foremost. It is just not worth it to let another person decide for you.” She brushed off the sand from her pants and gave him a bright smile and said “I hope you figure it out for yourself Jungkook-ssi.” before turning around and walking away.

After walking for a couple of hundred meters back in the direction she parked her car, she heard someone running behind her. She didn’t think much of it and continued to walk. The sound kept coming closer though, so she turned around and was kind of surprised it was Jungkook who was running towards her. He stopped right in front of her and had a small smile on his face while looking at her. “You knew who I was this entire time?” he asked.

She returned the smile, “We are in Korea.” She said with a shrug. It should explain enough. And it did. Every couple of streets has something BTS related decorating it. It would be a miracle if she missed all of that. He laughed a little and nodded his head, “Yeah, I see what you mean.” And kept staring at her, he didn’t say anything else.

She was amused, she’s noticed she has this effect on most people, but she figured an idol would be desensitized to that sort of thing. She raised her brows at him with an amused smile and stayed quiet. He seemed to get the hint, and again he looked a little flustered being caught staring. Eventually he asked “What’s your name?” and she chuckled. “My name is Naruto.” She said. “No, seriously, what’s your name?” he asked. She just raised her brows and smiled at him. She was well aware he would think of that stupid anime.

Everyone did when she mentioned her name. Yeah, she knew about that, unfortunately. The anime depicting her life like it was some shitty drama. And he was male, too. At least she got confirmation that her decision was the right one. And that there are multiple versions of her. That kind of freaked her out, to be honest. It’s completely different from her clones and it creeped her out.

That other naruto is stuck in that stupid village. She actually kind of pities him. But whatever, that’s not her responsibility. It was weird to watch her life play out like it did on the screen. She saw just where she could have made the same mistake as him, and then be chained to the village forever. She’s glad she’s not, though.

While she usually found it a bit annoying to constantly be compared to that anime, she still found it insanely funny to see Jungkook's face right now. A mix between incredulity and amusement. She thought he probably didn’t know whether she was fucking with him again or not. “I’m serious.” She told him. “I know it’s like the anime, but it’s my name.”

She could see him trying to hold back a laugh. He struggled for some seconds before visibly swallowing it down. Instead he grinned at her and very sincerely looked her in the eyes and said “Thank you.”

Before she could say anything else, her stomach decided to answer instead with a loud gurgle. They both looked down at it and back up at each other. One with visible surprise and the other with a cheeky grin. She opened her mouth before he could get anything in, “What? You didn’t think all that food was for the fish, did you?” She sent him an amused grin. “I’m still hungry. I was about to head some place to buy some more food. Do you want to come with me?”

She didn’t wait for him to answer before resuming her walk. It wasn’t long until he was walking next to her again. They walked in a comfortable silence all the way back to the stairs leading back to the concrete streets. She threw away her trash in the bin alongside the road and gestured for him to follow her. Together they walked to the end of the street, where they rounded the corner to the entrance of an underground parking lot. They entered and got off on the right floor before she led him over to her car.

She walked over to the passenger’s side, opened the door for him, and gestured for him to enter. He looked at her and the car, whistling lowly, and then got in.

She closed the door behind him and moved to enter behind the steering wheel. Once she was sure he was buckled up, she started the car and relaxed back into her seat before driving out of there.

She maneuvered the car out of the garage and onto the streets outside. She could feel him looking at her from time to time, but didn’t mind. She was able to feel emotions to an extent anyway, and there was definitely nothing negative going on with him right now.

While driving, she turned the radio on and switched the channels until she ended on a channel playing High School by Nicki Minaj. She turned the volume up a bit and started nodding her head to the beat with the occasional half dance move. At a red light when the beat dropped, she made exaggerated silly moves while looking at Jungkook just to see him laughing and enjoying his time. Eventually he joined in and started doing the same. When the song ended, he finally asked, “Where are you taking me?” And she smirked at him. “Don’t worry, I’m taking you to a place that will definitely respect your privacy. And they have great food.”

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Alright guys, so this was a spur of the moment type of story. It kept playing around in my head, and it frustrated me so much, I just had to write it down. If it's trash then please, don't mind it. I don't really know where I'm going with this story. But since I've never heard of this type of pairing before, I thought it was cool. If it does exist, then please send me the link!! I'd love to read that.

I don't necessarily know when I'll be able to update, but I'll try to update every 15th and 30th of the month.

Also, I'm not bad at English, but it still isn't my first language, so if you found a mistake I missed, please let me know and I'll change that.

And lastly! Don't be a silent reader! I like hearing from you. What are your thoughts? How did you find the story up until this point? Do you have any ideas you'd like to share with me? I'm open to anything, really!

You could always message me privately too. I won't mind :))

That said, I hope you enjoyed reading!

[deathly-sick-flowers]

No Sugar Part Two

got a notification on snapchat someone trying to add me. “bro it’s 3am go to bed why are you adding me” i joke to myself. some Melissa276 maybe a robot idk but you picked the right time to chat melissa. i accept and message ‘hey’. they are up and replying asking if i want to swap pics. what a joke, it’s free and i love cheap thrills. fuck it i have nothing to lose so i whip out my cock and try to get it hard. it ain’t happening. all the blood is in my brain with the coke and the beer doesn’t help. no blood and no stimulus means i ain’t getting it up. now i’m all bummed out so i do a bump and play some music. i start wondering if i could just add anyone on snap too maybe i could just talk to random fucking people. i type Hotgirl96 and laugh at the search results. does someone think this would actually work? well i’m a fucking loser so i’m going down this rabbit hole maybe i’ll land on someone real. it’s like this for hours it’s no use. i’m so wired i can’t sleep until real people wake up so i try those sketchy ads on porn sites looking for alleged Hot Singles In My Area. “fuck it” i beam alone. i got no job and no car or house payment. besides recycling cans i also get money from selling shit i find in my dad’s house or doing uber late at night when i’m jacked up on cocaine. after signing up with a credit card i start browsing through pictures of whores thinking “i just want some company”. i haven’t eaten in three days and some of those empty bottles on the table have piss in them cause i’m too lazy to get up. i don’t think they’ll mind but maybe for the smell i’ll finally dump them. i find some dark skinned asian girl and i just “good enough” out loud so i send a message. that turns into some chatting and pricing and a facetime to verify we’re real people. i got the funds so i send a few payments for pictures and eventually she brings up a threesome. she’s got a friend or coworker idk how whores live, but yeah sure fuck it i’ve never had one so i send another payment. i ask her if she does drugs she says she doesn’t even smoke weed. tells me they both like white wine so now i’m itching to make a store run. we settle for tomorrow night meet and fuck all night and i feel some sick sense of happiness. i have completely lost myself in my insanity and i don’t remember who i am. i’m going forward with this because i’m 36 and i don’t know what i’m doing with my life. two strangers in my house what could go wrong. does it make me feel like a gentleman that i took out the trash and poured out my piss bottles? i don’t want to ruin my streak so i decide to stay up another day without food. just gonna order the wine i don’t feel stable enough to kill someone on the road while trying to buy market wine for whores i chat with on my laptop. i’ve spent $700 on the Whore Package as i call it so, im in this. “i just want some company” i say out loud to myself in an empty home, bottle in my hand and a stench from my throat.

[pleasantlycrazyworld]

Could I pretty please get a very angsty with Eddie Munson? Like where she dies somehow. Maybe Jason does it to get revenge on Eddie for what happened. Or anything, I just really need serious angst in my life right now. Thank you so much if you are comfortable with writing it of course.

Can I just say this broke my heart while I was writing this

I hope you enjoy it! And if you did please consider liking, reblogging, commenting and request whatever you want me to try and write and I most likely will!

Eddie Munson x female reader

Nothing but Angst! There is nothing fluffy about this :(

Summary: After Chrissy’s death and (before the whole upside-down) Jason is angry. So angry he decides to make Eddie pay himself. 

Chrissy Cunningham found dead in the local trailer park 

The news reporter makes Y/N freeze. What?? Whipping her head around she focuses on the screen. She knew that Eddie was selling to Chrissy last night but what happened, come to think of it Y/N hasn’t heard from her boyfriend all day. Panic strikes her core. Something isn’t right. She knows Eddie isn’t capable of murder. He doesn’t even kill bugs, he catches them and sets them outside. There is something wrong. 

Y/N rushes to the trailer park and is confronted by cop cars. “Miss, you can’t be here.” A booming voice is what snaps her to existence. Quickly searching the area she sees that the van is missing. Squeaking out a quiet apology, Y/N heads back to her own car and drives off. She has to find him. 

Y/n is heading to Ricks. She has been there a hand full of times with Eddie and she is really hoping this is where Eddie is. If it isn’t then she has no idea where he can be. Pulling up she doesn’t see the van but something tells her to go check inside. Stepping out of the car she starts to walk to the building. Crushing leaves and sticks under her weighted footsteps her breathing deepens. This feels like a scene in a horror movie.

She walks in and is instantly pushed up against a wall with a bottle to her neck. Her eyes widen and panic sets in What the fuck is the only thought in her head. Finally, she focuses on the person threatening her and she recognizes those brown eyes. “Baby?” Hearing his girl's voice startles Eddie and he drops the bottle. “Jesus H Christ baby?! Oh, gods, I’m so sorry. Today has been so stressful and I just…” Eddie starts to cry and Y/N’s heart breaks. Her boy is clearly distraught and this town is claiming he killed a girl. “Oh baby” Y/N coos before pulling him to her chest. He cries into her, soaking her shirt while he keeps rambling on about how he didn’t do anything. “It was just a weed deal but she wanted something stronger so I had to take her back to the trailer and then this freaky shit happened and babe I don’t even know what I witnessed,” Y/N assures him that she knows he didn’t do anything. There is no way she could ever believe that and they come up with a plan. 

The plan they set is to run away. Eddie and Y/N had been living together for a few years now and they both were already saving money up to move out after Eddie graduated but they need to move now. Y/N tells Eddie that she’s going to leave and come back with a few bags packed and they’ll leave in her car. Just to a few states over and they’ll call Wayne as soon as they can. Eddie was reluctant on letting Y/N leave without him but she promised that she was going to be quick and careful so he let her leave. He regrets letting her leave. 

Y/N rushes to her house, Eddie left some things in her old room at her parents and so did she. She was going to pack up those clothes and raid the cabinets to get some food and go back to pick him up. Y/N knows that Eddie is innocent, but she also knows that this town will never accept that fact. Even after they get his name clear they would never believe him so it may be shady that they run now but it’s the only way for him to be safe. 

Y/N loads up the car and decided to stop at the store to buy a pack of water. She wasn’t sure where they would drive to but she was sure it would be a long car ride. Heading into the store she grabbed a cart and headed straight to the water. The only problem is Jason was in the aisle as well and just from the smirk that raises on his face she can tell he’s been wanting to see her. Y/N has been harassed by Jason for years, he has never truly scared her before. But now, well now the look on his face sends fear to her bones.  

“I’ve been hoping to see you today sweet thing,” Jason says with a creepy smile etched on his face. “Where have you been? You know I stopped at your parent's house, just been wanting to have a chat but no one was home, then I went to your work and they said it was your day off. Now this town is small, with nowhere for you to hide forever. But more importantly nowhere for that freak of yours to hide. If you just tell me where he is, I’ll be able to leave you be.” Y/N steps back as Jason steps closer. Her back hits a shelf, she’s trapped “Don’t make this hard. You’re a smart girl, you know he did this he’s a freak, he needed some sacrifice and took MY CHRISSY!” Jason grips her arms in his hands. His grip is so tight that his finger imprints are on her skin nearly instantly. Y/N is looking around her, she needs to find an out. Y/N pulls her foot as far as it can go and kicks Jason. Letting go of her arms, Y/N makes a quick escape and rushes to her car. 

Right as Y/N gets into her car Jason comes rushing to her car too. Locking the doors and putting the car into drive she goes to drive off but not before Jason busts open her window. Glass flies into the car making her flinch and she can hear Jason cussing her out as she drives off. Trying to get back to Eddie as soon as she can she then realizes Jason is following her. I can’t drive him to Eddie he’ll kill him Y/N decides to try and get him off her trail but as he said earlier. Hawkins isn’t that big. Y/N cuts into some woods and drives through a path that leads her to a side road. Jason is still following but much less than before. She takes the side road for a while before cutting left. She stays pretty well hidden and watches Jason drive right past her. Relief flows through her veins and she decides it's safe to head to Eddie now. 

Halfway to Rick's and her tire pops. She gets out of her car to see what happened and she sees a nail. There is a row of nails on the road. What?

As she goes into the trunk to just get the bags and walk the rest of the way someone grabs her. She screams out and fights against their grip on her, she hears Jason laugh. “I tried to tell you not to make this hard for either of us. You just had to be difficult.” “Jason Eddie didn’t do this, there is no way Eddie did this” Jason’s jaw clenches. “ Of course, the freak did this! He took her! He took her and sacrificed her to the devil. He killed my love and now I’m going to do the same.” Y/N’s eyes widen. She looks frantic and sees that Jason is holding a knife. “Jason, please. Please. I know this is hard. I know how much you loved her but killing me won’t get her back. You don’t have to do this Jason.” Y/N is pleading for her life. How can so much change in less than 24 hours? 

Jason laughs at her pleads. Shaking his head he refuses to listen to her words. “This might not give me her back, but this will make him suffer the same type of pain that I feel right now” Jason walks closer to her and Y/N lets out another scream. This time she is screaming for help, screaming for Eddie, praying to god that she isn’t too far from him and that he can hear her screams. 

Eddie hears some sort of muffled screams. Confused he looks towards one of the windows and sees shadows of people but he can’t make them out. Just as he walks closer to the window he sees one of the shadows raise its hand and lowers it to the other shadow's chest. Even more confused he decides to go outside and see what is going on. Just as Eddie walks outside he hears a scream of his name. Terror fills his body. He knows that voice. He rushes to the noise but he sees others with you. He is behind a tree when it happens. Jason raises the knife back up and stabs Y/N again. 

Y/N’s screams slow and her head rolls back. With one more stab to the chest, Y/N falls limb in the arms that are holding her up. Jason's breathing is erratic. He leaves the knife in her chest before walking off with his friend. Once they are out of sight Eddie runs to Y/N’s body. With tears in his eyes, he is begging for her to wake up. “Baby. BABY PLEASE. Please wake up I need you. I can’t lose you, baby, please. Please we are leaving today, you promised. You promised me. You said you were going to be safe and we were going to leave… please” He grabs her and holds her close to his body. His heart is shattered. How can so much change in just 24 hours?

[archivesofthevoid]

hi hi! could you write how the demon bros + dia would comfort mc after their human crush ghosted them n they’re really sad about it, it can be romantic or platonic :))) thank you!!

-🐇✨

Brothers + Diavolo comforting MC who was ghosted by their crush:

Sorry this is so late! I'm slowly but surely getting my requests done. If you'd like to send a request, my inbox is open! Just be sure to look at my pinned post for my rules.

Also, the only one that's outright romantic is Mammon's since I couldn't resist lmao but you can choose whether the others are /r or /p!

Lucifer: When he found MC crying in their room, his mother hen mode was activated. He was beside them in an instant. He had work to do? Well, that can always wait! He gently brought them into a hug, letting them cry into his chest. He didn’t say much of anything until they had calmed down. “Do you think you can tell me what’s wrong now?” He asked softly. When MC told him, he was livid. Their crush ghosted them? How cruel. He gave them small encouraging words about how great they were and their crush was in the wrong for not seeing what an amazing partner they could have had. After he gets them to cheer up he offers to have him take the rest of the day off to spend with MC. He’d happily do whatever they wanted as long as they were forgetting about their old crush.

Mammon: He was there when MC found out their crush had ghosted them. He was angry, of course, because who in their right mind would do such a thing to his MC? Yes, his. It was no secret that he had feelings for the human, but since he knew they already liked someone else - he shoved those feelings aside. Though in the back of his mind he was secretly happy, because maybe now this was his chance! He wasn’t going to dive right in and confess to them. But rather, he offered to spend more time with them and be even more affectionate and clingy with them. Then maybe, just maybe they’ll reciprocate his feelings. He offered to go to the person’s house and sell all of their stuff but MC didn’t allow him to do such a thing.

Leviathan: When he was interrupted by a teary-eyed MC, he immediately put his game down to see if they were okay. He personally has little to no experience with cheering people up but he’d try his best. Oh, they were ghosted by their crush? Well, Levi has just the thing to help cheer them up! He grabbed a bunch of blankets from his closet and dumped them in his bathtub before dragging MC in to hang out and watch the newest anime he was into. Although he was beyond flustered when MC started to cuddle into his chest, he couldn’t find the heart to pull away. They both quietly talked about the anime that was playing while nestled in their huge sea of blankets in the tub. Needless to say, Levi had managed to distract them from the crummy person that decided to break their heart.

Satan: He was passing by MC’s room with a book in hand as he heard gentle sobs coming from behind their door. Frowning, he made his way to the door and gently knocked. After hearing a bit of shuffling he was met with a tearful MC. He made a mental note of where he was in his book before setting it down by their bed and going to have them tell him what’s wrong. Their crush ghosted them? Oh, you think Lucifer was pissed, Satan was seething. It took everything in his power not to march into the human realm and give that person a piece of his mind. Though MC had managed to take him out of his wrath by crashing into his chest quite pitifully. He gladly accepted said hug, wrapping his arms around them as he proceeded to find ways to talk shit about the person. Later on, all that came from MC were giggles as Satan went on a full-on roast fest about the former crush.

Asmodeus: He had run into MC in the hallway, them having tears in their eyes as they were making way to their room. Before they could make it to their room though, Asmo dragged them to his. He managed to pry what was wrong out of them after a bit of time, gently scolding them like a caring mother. He didn’t seem to mind that MC wanted a hug, or ten because how could he say no to cuddles with his favorite person? Once they were done crying, he offered to paint their nails and help clean up their face before dragging him out to spend time with him in town. It was a good way to distract them of course and it surely worked because they had forgotten all about their crush by the next morning.

Beelzebub: He for some reason had a feeling that MC needed a friend right now, so he grabbed as many snacks as he could carry and went to MC’s room. Turns out his gut feeling was right, as they were curled up in their blankets with a solemn expression. MC hadn’t cried at all about the situation, except for when Beel asked what was wrong. He gently held them in his lap as he let them sob and explain how their crush ghosted them. Once they got it all out of their system, he offered them snacks and cuddles. He didn’t say much in the way of comforting, but him being there seemed to be enough for MC.

Belphegor: He was asleep when MC had come crawling up to the attic in hopes of finding comfort in their best friend Belphegor. He slightly woke up to feel MC start to spoon him. He was about to fall asleep before he felt something wet on the back of his shirt. Were they crying? Sure enough, he turned around to find them staring at him with tears falling down their face. Now fully awake, he brought them into his arms as he asked what was wrong. After being told, MC quite literally had to hold him back from going to the human realm himself. He already hated humans (except MC of course) but this person he hated more than anyone else, even if he didn’t know them. Dragging him back to bed while telling him they just wanted to cuddle and take a nap, Belphie just settled in their arms. He grumbled a little as he did so but eased into it after feeling MC hold him as close as possible. Letting out a sigh he just melted in their embrace as he slowly felt sleep start to take over him. Fine, he’ll take a nap then he’ll kill that person.

Diavolo: He had actually invited MC over to the castle for some afternoon tea, which they greatly accepted. Though once MC got there, he could tell right off the bat that something was wrong. After tea was served and they were in the middle of talking, Diavolo asked what was on their mind. What he didn’t expect was them to start to cry. No matter though, he was already setting down his tea and walking over to them. He gave them the biggest bear hug he could manage without crushing them, and gently pet their hair as they cried into his shoulder. He looked at Barbatos, silently asking him to leave them be before he proceeded to comfort MC in his own Diavolo way. He cracked a few trashy dad jokes to get them to smile, and it worked too. Once he saw them start to laugh, he grinned and laughed along with them. Later on that night, he had Barbatos track down the human and give them hell. Barbatos didn’t seem at all opposed and gladly did what was asked of him, since the demon prince and his butler deeply cared for MC.

[schneesisterss]

Do you have any head cannons for the other Dimitrescu sisters? I loved your takes on Cassandra!

thank you! <3 and Of Course I have headcannons for the other two. (though not as extensive as the ones I have for Cassandra bc you know... brain rot) BUT HERE:

Daniela:

ADD/ADHD representation

stims include, but not limited to: jumping, hard blinking, leg bouncing, word/phrase/noise repetition, and fidgeting with her clothing

and i’m also CONVINCED she gets the zoomies at random times of the day

Alcina, hearing loud and fast footsteps up and down her hallway at 3am: *sigh* “Daniela! Take it outside!”

followed by a loud THUMP and painful groan (she definitely ran into a wall)

hates loud noises but simultaneously has no volume control

especially when she gets excited

Cassandra has to constantly remind her to lower her voice

“AND THEN I TOOK MY KNIFE AND STABBED THE LYCAN IN THE NECK AND IT WAS SO COOL—”

“Dani, i’m standing right here, why are you yelling?”

she loves play-fighting with her sisters

Cassandra is more willing to entertain her than Bela but the both of them like to see their sister happy. so whenever they recognize Daniela getting antsy they’ll wrestle with her a bit

(Cassandra gets way to into it sometimes and makes Bela be the referee lol. Cass always ends up pinning her younger sister with a proud, competitive smile on her face. Bela let’s Dani win, but we don’t tell her that)

has the keenest senses of the three which makes her the best at stalking/killing pray

and since she can hear the best out of all of them, she unintentionally eves drops on conversations

so Daniela, bless her, has all the tea

tactile learner

will just. touch things

“Life hard, Mothers gown soft”

can get trapped in her own head and doesn’t know how to express to her family what’s bothering her

this can make her very reserved at times and she’ll distance herself for days on end

her mother is really the only person who knows how to get her out of that state. Alcina walks up the long flight of stairs to the highest point of her castle. her youngest daughter likes to come here sometimes when she needs the quiet. “Daniela? Are you up here?”

“Hello, Mother.” Alcina looks up to see her daughter lounging on a banister high up on the ceiling.

“What are you doing up there, my love?” Daniela rubs the fabric of her dress between her fingers. “Cassandra and Bela were arguing again. I don’t like when Cassandra yells.”

Alcina shakes her head. Those two were always going at it. She’ll speak to Bela about it later. “I haven’t seen you in a few days.” Daniela then grabs a fist full of her dress and tugs at it, blinking hard. “Come down for a moment. Talk to me, baby.”

and Daniela simply rolls herself off the banister and into free fall. Alcina, already prepared, catches her with ease and holds her bridal style against her chest. Daniela runs her hands over the sleeve of her mother’s dress.

Alcina gave her youngest child time to gather her thoughts, knowing it sometimes takes longer for her to be able to understand them herself. Daniela finally spoke up: “It’s been very loud recently. Around the castle. Small things, like footsteps or glasses clicking, they sound so loud in my head.” She covers her ears with her hands. “Even now I can still hear Cassandras voice through the castle, it’s pushing in my ears. My head hurts, Mother.”

Alcina gave her daughter a quick squeeze before setting her down. “Follow me baby, I want to show you something.” Daniela followed her Mother through the twists and turns of the castle until they ended up at a door that was just like all the others. It blended in and maybe that’s why Daniela has never noticed it before. “In here.” her mother guided.

Inside was a small library and lounge room. A fire place tucked in the corner and, of course, a wall a wine next to it. Daniela looked at her Mother questioningly.

“Listen.” her mother said, and Daniela did. She heard... nothing. Nothing outside of the quiet cracking of the fire place. “This room is sound proofed. Come here whenever you feel overwhelmed.” She leaned down to stroke her daughters head. “Just don’t tell your sisters I showed you my secret getaway room.” and with a wink, the tall woman exited the room and shut the door behind her.

The next day Daniela was at breakfast like nothing had changed. She didn’t even mind when Cassandra yelled at a maiden for breaking a plate, it only made her laugh.

(if you get overstimulated you KNOW what i’m talking about)

personal space? never heard of her.

loves to cling to Belas arm and Bela let’s her bc she thinks it’s just. so cute.

will also sometimes just crawl into her mothers lap and fall asleep. then Alcinas like: “well.. i guess i’m not moving for three hours”

Daniela: “if I run an jump at Cassandra, she’ll most certainly catch me.” *takes off in a full blown sprint*

Cassandra: “NO IM HOLDING HOT TEA—” *drops tea to catch Daniela* *proceeds to cuss her younger sister out, all while Dani is wrapped around her like a koala*

(this happens a lot. Dani will just... climb on Cassandra. piggy back rides, getting on her shoulders, wrapping her hands around her neck from behind and letting her feet drag on the floor, etc. Cassandra complains adamantly but never once moves to get her off)

Cassandra: “hey Dani, I dare you too—”

Bela: “Mother said Daniela isn’t allowed to accept dares anymore.”

Daniela: “apparently I have ‘no regard for my personal safety.’”

it takes a lot for Daniela to get genuinely angry, but when she does, it’s.... bad.

Very Very Scary when mad

turns into a completely different person that you Do NOT want to fuck with

dangerous and violent

much more dark and sadistic as compared to her normal personality

came home one night covered in blood and laughing hysterically. it scared the shit out of her sisters bc if they would try and get close, she’d slash at them with her weapon.

(this was one of the only times Bela had seen Cassandra genuinely worried and afraid for their sister)

when Alcina came to see what was wrong, Daniela, still laughing madly, swung at her too. Cassandra quickly shot out her arm and grabbed Belas elbow to stop her from getting involved. Bela whipped around with a growl but Cassandras glare and squeezing nails told her to back down. Mother can handle it.

Insane Laugh™️

thinks it’s funny to intimidate the maidens by showing her fangs and snapping her jaw

she often likes to find Bela when she’s reading a book to convince her to read to her (Bela almost always complies)

that’s it for Daniela. just a hyperactive baby with a murder streak <3 ONTO THE FINAL SISTER

Bela:

Mama’s (and I cannot stress this enough) Girl

needs constant reassurance that’s she’s doing a good job and yes this reassurance can ONLY come from her mother

INSOMNIAC

this girl never sleeps, pls baby you need some rest

she spends the time she should be sleeping reading books or running errands for her mother (whether Alcina asked her to or not)

she has read almost every single book in their giant library

Cassandra doesn’t understand this at all

“Why are you always cooped up in here?” Bela glanced up over the pages of her book at her younger sister. “This is the library Cassandra. Take a wild guess.” her voice was completely level and had no inflection. Cassandra gritted her teeth, “You think your so much better than me.” Bela sighed and closed her book. She didn’t want to do this again. “No. I don’t.” she said seriously. Cassandra eyed her for a moment then looked away, Bela saw the guilt on her face before she turned on her heal. “You’re so boring.”

because she reads so much, she is incredibly smart and just knows facts about random things

Daniela, daydreaming: “I wonder why grass is green.”

Bela, immediately: “the pigment that most grasses produce, Chlorophyll, absorbs almost all blue and red light and reflects green light which is why we see green. so I mean, technically grass is every single color EXCEPT for green.

Dani, confused as fuck: ....

Cass: “Bitch, how do you even know that?”

Bela’s sisters just end up using her as Google

“Hey Bela, how far away is the moon?” “238,900 miles.”

“Hey Bela, how many different climates are there?” “Twelve”

“Hey Bela, what’s the worlds deadliest poison?” “Botulinum... why?” “No reason.” “Dani. WHY?”

“Hey Bela, how much can I sell a human skull on the black market for?” Bela, concerned: “Cassandra why would—” “HOW MUCH?” “Well... are all the teeth still in tact?” “...No.” “Than only about $500.” “FUCK.”

“Hey Bela, I have this weird rash on my back and—” “Daniela. Do not finish that sentence. Go ask Mother.”

she is so quiet

and not just because she doesn’t talk very loud or even much at all. she’s just So. Silent. when she moves

just pops up in random places without anyone hearing her approach

even Daniela can’t hear her coming, which is saying something

Cassandra, minding her own business, drinking blood tea: .....

Bela, suddenly right next to her: “Hey I was wondering if— stop screaming, it’s me— have you seen Mothers lipstick? It’s missing.”

refuses any type of help with anything or else she feels like she failed that task

Never asks for help, Never asks for favors, and Never Ever will burden her Mother with any of her problems. Ever.

(Alcina thinks this is ridiculous. her eldest daughter pushes herself too hard.)

Anxiety™️

sometimes when her anxiety becomes too much she shuts down and becomes very indifferent to things around her. this has caused many fights between herself and Cassandra because Cass will get really fired up when all Bela does is respond with a monotone voice and blank stare.

overthinks literally everything and is a perfectionist

this makes her prone to panic attacks :(

when this happens she shuts herself in her room, not wanting to bother her Mother or sisters

Bela closes her bedroom door behind her and stumbles to her knees. she can’t seem to get air into her lungs no matter how hard she tried. she had failed. Mother asked her to bring her the head of that stupid man-thing, but somehow he knew their weakness.

how could he know? are Cassandra and Daniela ok? where are they? where is Mother?

Belas breathing was shallow and short, her chest burns as she presses her forehead into the ground. She claws the skin of her chest raw, leaving angry, red marks behind, desperately trying to open her lungs.

she stays as quiet as she can, only gasping few and far between. she will not be a burden. she should deal with the consequences of her failure. alone.

a sudden knock on her door makes her scramble backwards on her bottom till her back hits the opposite wall. then Belas worst nightmare, her Mothers voice.

“Bela?! Bela, is that you?” Alcinas words were rushes and worried. the door handle jiggled. “Bela, baby the door is locked, please let me in.” Bela covered her mouth and cried silently while her Mother begged to be let in.

the sound of snapping wood had Belas eyes flying open, her Mother had broken down the door. Bela shrunk into herself. She’s going to be so mad. I’m a failure. the ringing in her ears became so intense she couldn’t hear anything else.

large, soft hands cup her cheeks and a muffled voice through the air: “Bela, my love, you’re alright thank god. Are you hurt anywhere? Let me see.”

Bela pushed weakly at her Mothers arms and said between sobs, “I-I’m sorry, M-Mother.”

Alcina looked at her eldest daughter with confusion, she had no physical wounds, but the look on her face was heartbreaking. “What are you sorry for, my love?” this only made Belas breathing spend up even more, her face red from the lack of oxygen. Alcina quickly pulled her in close.

“Now Bela, listen to the sound of my voice,” she said it gently but just hard enough to grab her daughters attention. “I need you to copy my breath. Do it now, love, listen to me. Do what i’m telling you to.” Alcina took exaggerated breaths and noticed that instantly after her command, Bela had tried to follow, but the smaller girls breath was still choppy and small. Alcina rubbed a thumb across Belas cheek. “You’re doing so well baby. Keep going just like that. Good girl.” a smaller hand was placed on her arm and grabbed at her sleeve. “Good baby, use me to ground yourself. Keep breathing now, you’re doing so good.” Alcina kept whispering soft encouragements and praises until her daughters breathing was back to normal and she was laying limp on her chest.

Alcina moved the hair away from Belas face. “What a good girl, you did so well.” Bela squeezed her eyes shut and pushed into her Mother until her face was hidden. “I’m sorry Mother.” came a muffled apology, though her voice was much more steadier than before. “I failed you, I couldn’t stop the man-thing. He shot at the windows! He knows our weakness, Mother. What are we going to do? Where’s Daniela and Cassandra, are they ok? I should have stopped him for you I’m so sorry I—”

“Quiet.” Bela immediately seals her lips and looks away, already extracting herself from her Mother’s arms. She probably hates her. Alcina simple tugs her back and forces Bela to look in her eyes with a quick tap to the forehead. “Bela, I need you to listen to me very carefully.” Her daughters eyes go wide and she nods. “You have nothing to apologize for. This is not you’re fault and I will not allow you to think that way. Plus, the man-thing won’t bother us any longer, I took care of it.”

“But—” Alcina raises an eyebrow and Bela gives in, nodding hesitantly. “Good girl.” Bela exhales through her nose at the phrase and squeezes her Mother’s sleeve again. They sit like that for a few more moments, calming down.

Bela suddenly shoots up. “Daniela, Cassandra, are they—” “They’re fine my dear, Daniela got a little banged up, but Cassandra was already patching her up before I could even get close. We didn’t know where you were, that’s why I was so worried.” Bela relaxed and again nuzzled her nose into her Mother’s chest, took one more deep breath, then stood. “I’m going to go check on them.”

She steps through the now empty door frame and pauses. She spoke without turning around: “I won’t fail you again, Mother.” and shifts into a cloud of flies and disappears.

(am I projecting again? idk help)

can play the piano

no like you don’t understand, she is so good at piano

this girl has mastered songs by composers like Liszt, Beethoven, and Ravel

she’ll play for hours on end, if she starts a new piece she Will Not get up until she can play it through perfectly

she pretends not to notice Cassandra secretly listening to her play, hidden behind a nearby bookshelf

while her younger sisters always jump head first into a fight, Bela takes a more calculating approach. learning her enemies movements from afar before advancing and ending it in like 3 quick moves.

“Well Bela, if Mother asked you to jump off a bridge, would you?”

Bela, already climbing over the railing: “Hm?”

and there you go for Bela! my sweet child.. please learn self-care.

*ahem* I went overboard again didn’t I? WELP. I regret nothing. Give me more headcannons.

[pingutats]

wake up in some promised land

despite his best efforts to keep their relationship out of the public eye, harry & y/n are photographed together as they leave a party one night —and harry has an interview the very next morning.

warnings: a little bit of angst about trying to navigate fame and a relationship. harry has a foul mouth. but there’s a happy ending!

word count: 2.2k

.                               .                           .                               .                           .

Harry was decidedly not in a good mood. 

It had been a late night. He’d had a few more drinks than he usually did. In his defence it was earned—he’d just released an album, it was soaring to great heights on iTunes charts all over the world and already receiving overwhelmingly positive reviews—so sue him if he indulged in some expensive champagne, a couple fancy cocktails, too many rounds of shots for him to remember clearly… It was a good night all around. 

The headache he has right now though, brought on by the sudden blare of his alarm (far earlier than he would have preferred), threatens to tarnish the memory. He even considers swearing off drinking forever so he’ll never suffer like this again. 

When he voices this intention to a dozing Y/N as he pulls a shirt on, his only feedback is a pillow-muffled, “You’re such an old man, H.”

He leans over the bed and kisses the small part of her forehead that’s exposed between the pillow and the blanket. “Come on, love. Time to get up.”

“You can get up. I don’t have a radio appearance to make.” She jerks the blanket up to cover her head entirely. “I’ll stay here, thank you very much.”

He manages to drag her downstairs with him anyway, with promises of making her coffee and a hot breakfast. In the kitchen she yawns and stretches, the over-sized sleep shirt opening like bat wings as she raises her arms above her head. He has to force his fond gaze away to concentrate on turning the coffee machine on and pulling eggs out of the fridge. 

“This is a really ungodly hour,” she comments, watching him rummage around in a cupboard for a frying pan. 

“No such thing as a good night’s sleep when you’re as successful as I am,” he tells her wisely. 

She doesn’t even indulge him with a laugh, which tells him exactly how tired she is. 

The coffee’s done quickly—Harry is so addicted to the stuff he could probably make it in his sleep with all the practise he’s had—and she grabs the cup from him with greedy fingers, closing her eyes and sipping as she’s perched up on the counter. 

Harry nearly lets out a moan when the caffeine hits his lips. It surely can’t work that quickly, but already he’s starting to feel alive again. He turns to the stovetop and cracks the eggs in the frypan with one hand, using his other hand to cling to his cup for dear life. 

His phone starts ringing and the sound pierces through his head. His manager’s name is displayed, which is a good thing because if it was anyone else calling right now Harry would probably be tempted to kill them, and even if no publicity is bad publicity, he’s not sure a murder charge would be good for his album sales. He slides his finger across the screen to answer it and tucks the phone between his cheek and shoulder while he adjusts the heat on the stove. 

“Hey, Jeff,” he says. 

Jeff laughs on the other end. “You sound fucked.”

“Big night,” Harry grumbles. “You don’t sound to pretty yourself.”

“All I’m saying is you better get yourself set in the next half hour, ‘cause a voice like that on the radio isn’t going to help you sell records.”

“I’m makin’ breakfast,” Harry retorts. “Got a coffee, I’ll be fine—oh, shit—fuck!” He’s mixed up his hands as he tried to flip the eggs, and poured coffee in the frypan. “Give me a second.”

He sets his coffee down on the counter and unsticks his phone from his cheek, turning it on speaker and placing it next to his cup. He stares at mess in the frypan and decides he’s going to have to try drain the liquid into the sink, without losing the eggs. He accepts this challenge with humility and grace, because he knows it’s his own stupid fault.

Y/N is cackling behind him. On any other day he might have been annoyed, but her laughter this morning just means that she’s in a better mood than earlier. He’d give anything to keep her happy, so if it takes fucking up their breakfast to have her smiling—so be it. 

“Okay,” Harry says to Jeff once he’s secured the situation. 

“Is everything okay over there?” Jeff’s voice is slightly tinny through the phone speaker, but his stress is evident in his tone. 

“Yeah, we’re just—“ he looks at the eggs, dyed brown by the coffee, and glances over his shoulder apologetically at Y/N. “We’re having caffeinated eggs. You’re on speaker. Y/N’s here too. Say hi, baby.”

“Hey, Jeff,” Y/N chirps. 

Jeff sighs. “Hi. Listen, it‘s probably good that you both hear this anyway. There are a couple of photos of the two of you from last night that are doing the rounds on Twitter this morning.”

Harry stiffens. “What?”

Here’s the thing: Harry and Y/N are definitely an item. It’s happened pretty quickly. They’ve been dating for a few months and now whenever they’re in the same city they’re practically living together. They’ve said “I love you” to each other often enough that its utterance isn’t a special occasion anymore. So, sure, they’re boyfriend-girlfriend, and if all goes to Harry’s plan, they’ll be more than that soon enough.

But in the meantime, she’s also his best-kept secret. There have been rumours, of course. They’ve been spotted having lunch together or going on walks. Anyone paying attention knows they’re good friends, but Harry has been careful not to let the other dimension of their relationship slip out into public yet. He conducts himself on public outings (secretly dates) like a Victorian gentleman, constantly vigilant that his affection never goes beyond what’s appropriate between friends. 

“They’re not bad,” Jeff says quickly. “It’s just pretty obvious what’s going on. I’ll send them to you, hang on.”

Y/N slides off the bench and comes to stand right behind Harry, leaning around him to stare at the phone. The minute of waiting for the photos to come through feels like forever. Y/N must sense his tension, because she puts her hands on his shoulders and squeezes. 

A notification pops up at the top of his screen: from Jeff, 8 images attached. He taps it quickly and frowns at the photos. 

They must have been taken as they were leaving the bar that the album release party was at. He notices Jeff and others also crowded on the pavement outside, lit by the orange glow of streetlights. The focus, however, is of course on Harry and Y/N, who were putting on something of a show for all their friends—and, apparently, the rest of the world. 

The first couple are okay. There Harry is, his arm slung around Y/N, clearly not sober as he bellows something up to the sky with a massive grin on his face and closed eyes. They were singing, he vaguely remembers, the karaoke they were doing inside the bar spilling over the rest of their night. Y/N is laughing at him, clapping her hands together.

Harry drags his finger up the screen to scroll to the next photos in Jeff’s chain. These ones start to reveal the two of them as much more than just friends. The arm around her dropped to her waist, pulling her into his body. And then he was bending his head down. And then he was kissing her. 

He scrolls down even further. 

In this one, he’s groping her ass in full view of the camera. 

“Harry, you lecher!” Y/N scolds, smacking his arm in good humour.

He just shakes his head, staring at the photo. “There’s no plausible deniability, is there?”

“There isn’t,” Jeff says over the phone. He laughs weakly. “You two put on a real show.” He must sense the panic that Harry’s feeling, because he adds, “Listen, Harry, I can blacklist questions about it if you want. Just tell me what you want to do.”

Harry looks at Y/N, chewing on his lip. He feels like a teenager again, out of control of his narrative and at the mercy of the media. He’s meticulously developed his skills of privacy for years, now, and one night of insobriety and bad luck undid it all. 

Jeff clears his throat. “The thing with blacklisting is that it might raise more questions. And even if you don’t talk about it, you’ve gotta remember that everyone else will be.”

“Yeah.” Harry runs a hand through his hair. “Look—“

Y/N puts her hand on his cheek, patting him. “Hey,” she says gently. “It’s okay.”

He sucks in a deep breath through gritted teeth and holds it in for a moment. “I’m sorry,” he says finally with a sigh. 

She scoffs. “You’re not the only one in these photos.”

He frowns. She doesn’t get that he’s apologising for more than just the photos. It’s the fact that they have to deal with this at all, that it’s such a big deal for them to simply act like a normal couple. It’s the fact that it’s him, and he is who he is. 

“H,” she presses further. “It’s up to you. Your decision. But I want you to know that I’m happy whichever way you choose.”

He searches her eyes for any hint of doubt. She didn’t manage to clean off all her make-up last night, and there’s a smear of glitter on her temple and dark smudges of mascara underneath her eyes. She looks tired, but she’s definitely serious about what she’s saying. 

“You get what it means to be public with me, though,” he says at last. He hesitates. “It’s… intense.”

She shrugs and gives him a cocky grin. “Nothing I can’t handle.” 

“I’m being serious.”

“I am too.” She’s holding his head in her hands, her fingers smoothing his unruly curls off his face. “It’s just a few photos. It isn’t everything.”

It isn’t everything. Harry closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, then leans down to kiss her gently. It’s just an innocent peck, but the feel of her soft lips against his is enough to ground him.

Jeff clears his throat awkwardly. 

They break apart with embarrassed smiles. “Sorry,” Harry says, but he isn’t really.

“Yeah,” Jeff says, sounding uncomfortable. “You’re going to have to make a decision soon, because we’re really cutting it fine.”

Harry looks at Y/N, who nods. 

He turns back to the phone. “Don’t worry about it,” Harry says. “Let them ask the questions.”

“Yeah?” Jeff asks. “Okay then, that saves me a load of trouble. Good luck, man. Enjoy it.”

“Thanks,” Harry says, hanging up with a sharp tap on the screen. He turns around to Y/N with a grin on his face. “Where were we…”

Y/N giggles as he gathers her into his arms, pulling her in close for a kiss that no one else can see or hear, a kiss just for them. When she pulls back to breath, he peppers his lips all over her face until she’s squirming away—“Harry, that tickles!”

He lands one last kiss on her cheek before his gaze lands on the time display on the oven behind her, which tells him he has ten minutes before he needs to be on the Zoom call for the interview. 

She notices the sudden shift in his demeanour and glances behind her to see what caused it. She turns back around. “I’ll sit with you.”

He nods. “Yeah, okay, I’d like that.”

“It’s Harry Styles!” the presenter cries. 

“It’s me! Hello, hello,” he says, waving at the screen. The laptop is set on the coffee table and he’s sitting on the couch, elbows resting on his knees as he grins at the screen. “How are ya?”

“Oh, we’re wonderful,” the presenter replies. “More importantly, how are you? Looks like you had a big night last night, judging by these photos we’re seeing!”

He chuckles. “Yeah. Big night,” he echoes, dragging out the word. 

The presenter laughs. “Sounds like a great time. Well deserved after this masterpiece of an album. And, correct me if I’m wrong, but it looks like you’re quite close with somebody there. Would you explain what’s going on here, Harry?”

Harry peers at the photo displayed on his computer screen, even though he knows exactly what it will be. The one they chose is a sweet one, with Y/N’s arms wrapped around his neck and kiss that he seems to be melting into. He can’t suppress his smile at that. “Oh, well,” he says. “That’s my friend Y/N.”

The presenter raises his eyebrows at that. “Good friend, is she?”

Harry glances up over the laptop to look at Y/N, sitting on the other couch, her cheeks pink and round from her smile. Harry surreptitiously reaches his arm towards her, out of frame, and she leans forward to hold his hand. 

“She is. She’s a lovely girl.” He squeezes her hand. “Yeah, we’re very good friends.”

.                               .                           .                               .                           .

thank you so much for reading! this fic is based on a request from @kissmyaxe140 — i really intended this to be a shorter blurb of a few hundred words, but i’m incapable of brevity. apparently. this grew into a little monster but i rlly had fun writing it!! the title is a lyric from secret life by bleachers.

if you liked this fic, a reblog and/or any kind of feedback would be very much appreciated. my masterlist can be found here and you can send me messages here. have a gorgeous day!

[jimlingss]

It's B from @bang-tan-bitches and I would like to request a yandere fic. It can be BTS OT7 x reader or BTS member of your choice x reader. Similar to your amazing isekai story i would like something similar(a long one shot or a multi-chapter, your choice). Whether YN transmigrates to a game or a novel (not as a villain but maybe as a cannon fodder side character that has little importance to the story and just wants to lay low) but YN captures the attention of the love interest(s) and shit starts getting weird, intense, uncomfortable. Maybe it causes the supposed female lead to turn into the villain, maybe it causes the love interest(s) to turn into the villain(s). Maybe YN realizes that something is wrong with the story/game but can't figure it out. Idk. Time period doesn't matter. Modern. Ancient. Fairytale. Fantasy. Whatever.

If you can do this great! If you can't or don't want to, that's okay too. You're an amazing writer with so much talent and I'm really appreciative of all your work. Thank you for taking requests from your fans, I'm sure you've received a lot.

Take care! 😘💜💜💜

at the start of the pandemic, I was getting back into manga and manhwa and then after a few months, I dawdled off but recently, I’ve been getting back into it again haha so this request came at a pretty good time. Hopefully you won’t mind that I’ve taken some creative liberties with this request lol I think it’s more fun if I keep readers on their toes, including the requester.

On another note, I really shouldn’t be writing all my isekai’s with Taehyung as the main lead but he’s just so fitting asdfghjkl

↳ The Fox Bride

2.6k || 99% Light Fluff, 1% Angst || Kim Taehyung || Isekai!AU, Slight Yandere!AU, Nine-Tailed Fox!Taehyung

You are a tutorial character.

But you weren’t always. You still remember being a career woman in the twenty-first century, struggling with overtime and paying bills while trying to keep yourself fed. The success of that ranged from month to month. But more importantly, you still remember that night too.

It was rainy. Your car blew a flat tire. You pulled to the side of the highway and got out.

The last thing that registered was the deafening honk of the semi-truck. 

Then you felt yourself flying upwards.

But when you landed, instead of colliding with the concrete and dying upon impact, you fell back onto your ass in the middle of a market on a dirt road. Transported back a thousand years ago.

Your purpose was fulfilled in the next two minutes. 

“Are you alright?”

The male protagonist had stretched out his hand and helped you up. The hero. The main character. It was obvious with his bright red hair, shining eyes and bronze armour. He was so starkly different from the rest who were gray and drab, including you who was suddenly in a brown shapeless dress. He was practically a neon billboard in the middle of a graveyard.

“Are you Y/N?”

You looked at him, befuddled that he knew your name. But before you could even respond or provide a line of dialogue, he said, “This is a delivery from Baker Jeon. He gives you his thanks.”

The protagonists handed you a loaf of bread. Undoubtedly his first ever quest. 

You looked down, not sure what to do with it.

“Do you know where the blacksmith is?”

You had absolutely no clue. But there was the deafening noise of hammering steel literally ten steps away. You would have to be blind not to see the gruff man shaping a sword at an anvil right on the road and deaf not to hear it. As if that wasn’t enough, the literal sign of the shop read: ‘the blacksmith’.

So you pointed.

“Thanks.” And he trudged off.

You were utterly confused until a background character who said they knew you waved you over. You shared your bread with her, brushed aside when she asked you what was wrong, and you followed her as she walked up to your supposed cottage.

All the while, you saw yourself in the background of the hero’s main quest as he ran through the town.

And that was that.

It wasn’t so hard to figure out where you were or what the hell this was when you put your mind to it. Without much of a job or a family, and no technology but the candle that you had to conserve when night fell, there was ample time.

So you spent it thinking and you eventually solved the mystery.

You were in Beast Boys Harem: A Forbidden Embrace. AKA. a dumb yaoi otome game app that you downloaded on your phone when you were sixteen and bored. You remember because you were too cheap to buy the routes, so you played the tutorial, prologue and read the summaries of the routes online. Now you regret that you didn’t just fork over the goddamn five dollars. 

Even more than that, you regret that you even downloaded the game in the first place.

But at least you’re just a tutorial character. You’re free from the storyline and the plot—

That’s what you thought.

Turns out living a thousand years in the past in a fantasy realm as a woman didn’t bode well. It was probably no different from how it would’ve been like in the medieval ages. You had no trade skills. No one was willing to accept you as an apprentice when you were a woman. You found that you were essentially illiterate with a reading level of a preschooler, no one was willing to teach you, and you had no power or wealth when you were without a father or a husband.

And you’re certain what the landlord and tax-collectors are doing is illegal.

But in this world, in this unjust realm, there is no such thing as the law.

“We know you’re in there!”

You jolt from the heavy pounding on the frail wooden door.

“It’s time to pay up!”

Your hands tremble as you set the candle down that’s still billowing of smoke, the flame smothered out mere seconds ago. As much as you want to hide and pull the blanket over your head, you know that door won’t last. They’ll find you if you’re trapped in here.

“If you can’t, spread those legs of yours!” a low voice spits and there’s chortling from the men.

Someone adds, “Sell your body already!” 

“Open up! Damn whore!”

Without a single possession but the white nightgown clad on your body, you open the latch of the back window. You cringe at the squeak, trying to keep your movements quiet before the door gives way.

You hoist yourself up onto the window ledge. The door bends with the strength of multiple clenched fists against it. Your feet touch the soft grass outside your cottage. The men shout.

And the door finally slams against the wall, hinges broken. 

But by then, you’ve slipped into the shadows.

“Where is she?!”

The blanket is ripped off the bed, curtains are whipped back, every drawer dumped onto the ground and cupboards yanked open. The floor shakes with the weight of their boots and you press your palm to your mouth to silence your panting breaths, slowly stepping away.

“That damn whore slipped through us—!”

But as your shitty luck would have it, a sudden crack has the whole world coming to a standstill.

Shit. You look down at your feet, realizing that the snapping noise came from you stepping on a twig. And it’s exposed your hiding place.

“There she is!” — “Out the back window!”

You grab fistfuls of your dress and bolt. 

“Get her!”

With your cottage on the edge of town, there’s nowhere to run but through the dense woods. It’s shrouded in the darkness, no doubt filled with wild beasts creeping through the thicket. The rustling canopy of the trees doesn’t allow the dim, waning moonlight to illuminate your path.

So you’re left blind. Struggling up the high incline of the forest, feet slipping on dirt and mud. But you keep sprinting with all your might, even when the pointed, coiling branches scrape at your calves until blood sheds and the hem of your dress tears in the underbrush.

“Run, little rabbit!” one of them mocks, “Run!”

The four men continue to give chase, gripping onto their roaring torches, shrieking and howling after you. One of them is manically laughing as if your efforts to flee only adds to the thrill. Their greased hands reach out to snatch you, but the tips of their fingers graze the ends of your hair.

Your teeth are sunk into the bottom of your lip, sobs breaking through your aching chest. Your lungs burn, dying for a break or moment of relief. But you don’t relent and luckily, you manage to build distance between you and the men. Only, that luck comes crashing down by a fucking hole.

A hole in the forest floor that you don’t see. That has your footing all wrong. That makes you scream and fall.

You twist your ankle in a direction it’s definitely not supposed to be in and cry from pain. 

A second later, you force yourself to get up and keep running with tears flooding your eyes and dripping down your cheeks. But it’s more like limping than running, akin to hobbling on one leg and every movement has pain shooting from your swelling ankle.

The effort becomes futile. They surround you within minutes.

“All finished?” The tax-collector’s head cocks with a spreading grin. “You’re not going to keep running?”

Why couldn’t you just fucking die the first time?! Even if it was an awful death where you didn’t have time to prepare yourself or say goodbye to anyone, at least it would’ve been the end. At least you wouldn’t have to suffer.

But there’s no time to grieve. Or hate the new life you’ve been given. This is it. You have to keep going. You have to survive. By any means. You’re about to pick up a branch and uselessly wave it around at them, shout at them to stand back. Anything that you could do to save yourself—

“Who dares come onto my mountain?!”

There’s a deep timbre behind you. A husky voice that quivers the very core of the forest.

As if the wind has swept through, the trees and thicket rustle and it goes silent.

The men fall back onto their asses, some torches clattering to the ground. Their eyes have grown double in size, nearly falling from their sockets and their jaws have dropped to the dirt.

“I-It’s the nine-tailed fox!”

The man scrambles back.

“Demon!” 

Another barely manages to get onto his feet. He turns around and lurches away while shrieking.

They all run. Scattering away as frantically as cockroaches when the light is flickered on.

From your spot on the ground, you turn around with wide eyes. 

Amber irises meet your gawking and they practically glow in the darkness of the forest. He is dressed in a loose, white robe that’s draped over his frame, open to the middle of his chest. And over his honey hair, on the top of his head, his pointed golden ears twitch. By the torch fire still yet to die out, he is illuminated and his shadow is casted on the ground. The blazing flame warms his cold, sharp features. 

He is the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen. In both worlds you’ve lived in.

And you know who he is.

Taehyung. One of the love interests of the hero. A seductive, sly creature that eventually coaxes the hero into selling him his soul to grant one of his wishes. But Taehyung grows to become an obsessed character that wants to do nothing but monopolize and possess the hero for himself.

That same Taehyung approaches you with his lip curled as you teeter to your feet.

“Run away, girl.” He leans close. “Before I eat you.”

“Stop!” 

On sheer instinct and adrenaline, you push him back. Your palm shoves against his firm chest.

Taehyung stumbles back with his eyes becoming rounded. He looks down to where you had made contact against his body. “Did...you just touch me?”

“What?”

Taehyung’s head darts upwards and he captures your wrist in his hand, squeezing tightly. He tugs you in and on your swollen ankle, you stumble into him. Bodies flush against one another. Your face pressed to his warm chest. His arm coming around your waist to break your fall.

He is aghast. 

“You’re not from this world.” Taehyung’s yellow eyes swirl as they gaze into you. “Where did you come from?”

…

It’s been three days.

“Wed me,” he begs for the seventy sixth time. 

You don’t know why you’re keeping a count.

“No.”

You’re hugging your knees for warmth. The rice paper-paneled doors are slid open and letting in the chilly air. He doesn’t seem to be affected by the cold, but you don’t look at him for long. 

You turn into the corner of his home while sitting on the tatami floors as if you’re putting yourself into time out. But you’d like to say it’s your privacy corner. It’s as private as this abode, which was basically one room, could get. 

Taehyung sighs in frustration, placing his hand on his forehead. His teeth grit. “You’re only making this harder for yourself.” Your silence angers him more. “You can never leave.”

You turn over your shoulder to glare. “Even if I married you, you’d never let me leave anyway.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes on you and then smirks. “You’re right. Wed or unwed, I won’t let you out of my sight. You should feel grateful, girl. You’re the best human I’ve ever treated.”

You quietly scoff.

Maybe you should feel scared. Maybe you should tread more lightly. After all, he’s not a character to be trifled with.

But you know he needs you. That alone gives you power. 

As a beast, Taehyung’s been trapped on this mountain by priests for centuries. The only way he can be free is by feeding off of sexual energy and breaking the barrier. But of course, they also cursed him to be unable to touch any woman in this universe. 

You aren’t from this universe.

You jolt when you realize that while you were lost in thought, Taehyung’s crawled closer. He has a foxy smile, amber eyes searching your expression. “Maybe….maybe I’ll grant you a bit of freedom if you would just give into the temptation and let me have a taste of you.”

As cold as he looks, he is beautiful. He is mischievous when he smirks and sly when he speaks. You are utterly spellbound as you look into his irises. And the temptation he speaks of flickers in the warmth of your belly.

But you turn away.

“I already said we only do that kind of thing after marriage. And I will only marry someone I love.”

Taehyung draws back with an unamused scoff. “What a prudish world you’re from.”

He wanted you the moment you were brought to this house. With the intensity of his stare and your captivated state, you had let him pin you to his floor and you liked it. But then clarity came and you blurted that such an act only happens after marriage. A lie just to buy time.

You didn’t expect for the hero to arrive at Taehyung’s house the next day. With his red hair and bronze armour, he had gotten lost in the forest and knocked on the door. Before you could limp over and answer it, Taehyung jumped off the roof and confronted him.

The guy was thrown off the mountain within five minutes.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. They were supposed to have a steamy rendezvous. Taehyung was supposed to get the sexual energy from him! 

The story was going off the rails. And you’re not sure what you’re even buying time for anymore.

The both of you know it’s only a matter of time before you break and succumb to his mesmerizing seduction.

Taehyung is cruel, ruthless, obsessive.

But what’s the most bewitching thing about him is the jarring contrast of when he’s clumsy and nurturing. It’s what he regards as his own weakness. What he hides from others. But you felt your heart waver two nights ago when you were shaken awake in the middle of twilight. When you peeked open your eye to see him gingerly wrapping your swollen ankle with bandages.

He looked beautiful in the pale moonlight, ears, tails, sharp features softened—

“Ow!” You wince as he squeezes your ankle, right on your injury.

“You think too much in your head,” he says and looks at you. “What’s wrong?”

“It hurts.”

A sadistic smile tugs on Taehyung’s lips. He lets go, but only to lift your chin with his fingers. His plush lips are inches away, his breath warm on your skin and he gazes deep into you. “I won’t let you return to your world. I won’t let you run away. I won’t let anyone harm you.”

“You’re mine now.” Taehyung swears, “You’ll fall in love with me eventually.”

You gulp and he smirks.

The two of you know it’s only a matter of time.

[emisonme]

This will be big but i felt like sharing my thoughs. I love camila, so so much…but I feel like sometimes people are praising her too much. Camila loves fame, no matter how many of you deny it, it’s pretty obvious that she does. I’ve seen plenty of arguments on twitter regarding the 4H vs C topic and I can’t help but notice some people saying stuff like “camila didn’t choose to be in this position”, “all the girls treated her like shit when it wasn’t even up to her decide”. Well obviously I know the feud between the 5H girls was fake, but it really messes with me that people still continue to paint camila as the victim. Even tho camila may have not betrayed the other girls as they tried to make it seem, she sure as hell accepted this full of privileges position she was given since the beginning. And I’m not saying this is a bad thing, because honestly which one of us would deny such opportunity, if we were in her place? But most of us and I’m also talking about me, tend to forget that camila is also a person who has negative traits, not only positives. Unfortunately one of her biggest negatives, is that she grew to love the spotlight. And if you really think about it, it makes sense since she was always so shy around people and when she got a taste of the “pop star” life, she felt mesmerised by it. From my point of view, as soon as she got that taste she also started craving the “bigger” things. Big arena concerts, awards, people loving her. For example lauren might love her job as an artist, but she undeniably hates the fame that comes with it. She’s just in it because she truly wants to share a piece of her soul and justify the definition of a true artist. And I’m not saying that mila is not, she sure as hell wants to create art. But if you ask me, the difference between these two is that lauren would be completely content with singing in a room full of people who simply appreciate her art, whilst camila would prefer to be in an arena full of people who sing her songs and scream her name. Not that laure wouldn’t like that, but I think you get the point. And I don’t know if anyone noticed, but until a few years ago well actually before the pandemic started, her management continued to push down the image of this “goofy innocent” girl who was happy all the time. She also pushed it herself because that was her job! No matter how much we think we know her,camila is still a pop star in the music industry who plays a part, just like everyone else who works in that damned department. And based on the above I’d like to point out that (no matter how many of you disagree with this) nobody is forcing camila to stay in the closet. Yes I know I sound ridiculous but hear me out. There isn’t a single contract which can legally force someone to hide their sexuality. Yes her management may have warned her not to come out in fear of losing profits and even blackmailed her, but at the end of the day it’s her choice. If she desperately wanted to come out as we all make it seem, she would’ve done it by now. The fact that she doesn’t, should tell us, that afterall she does care about her image. Even if that’s taking a toll on her now, it was her decision to follow that path. It was her decision to stay in the closet, it was her decision to accept the pr with shawn and it was her decision to keep playing the “happy” girlfriend to the media. No matter how much she was manipulated by this hell hole, camila is a pretty clever person. If she didn’t want any of this and simply wanted to be authentic to herself and the rest of the world, she simply wouldn’t care if she lost the title of the pop princess. But she does care. And it’s completely normal at this point, cause in this industry either you lose yourself or you come out stronger. Unfortunately I believe that camila’s case belongs to the first occasion. I don’t think that present camila we see in interviews or shows or whatever is the real camila. That camila is long gone. Anyway sorry if this was exhausting and thanks to anyone who read it all,cause I really wanted to share this with someone

someone

Good Lord, Anon, that's a lot to unpack. I will start by saying, I agree with some, and disagree with some of what you had to say. Now, where to start...

You say it still messes with you, that everyone still portrays Camila as the victim. Are you going to deny that Camila WAS/IS victimized? The truth is, they were ALL victimized. They are ALL victims of an abusive Industry.

You said, "she sure as hell accepted this full of privileges position she was given since the beginning." You are either forgetting, or just plain don't care, that Fifth Harmony was a highly controlled entity. There was no choosing, or "accepting" privileges. They each did what they were told to do, said what they were told to say, and acted the way they were told to act. They were each given a role to play, and they were contractually obligated to play that role.

Yes, they were contractually obligated to act a certain way. There has been ample proof given, that none of the girls had any control over their PUBLIC image. Camila still has no control over her PUBLIC image, because there has been ample proof, she is still operating under her original contract.

Did Camila choose to sign that original contract? Yes, she did. Did she read that original contract? According to Lauren, probably not. None of them did. Did Camila agree to sign her solo contract? Yes, she did. But as I've explained before, if she wanted to continue in the music industry, she had no choice but to sign the solo contract they offered her. That solo contract is still connected to her original contract.

Camila is a human being. We ALL have positive and negative traits. Camila, all the ladies of 5H, you and me, we all have our positives and negatives. None of us are perfect.

You said, "one of her biggest negatives, is that she grew to love the spotlight." Why is that a negative? Hell, they ALL wanted the spotlight. Every person who gets into the Entertainment Industry, wants to get themselves in the spotlight. They all want to succeed in the field of their choice. To succeed, they have to garner the attention, and live in the "spotlight", in one way, or another.

Every one of them auditioned on a NATIONALLY TELEVISED talent show. They wouldn't have done that, if they didn't want to be noticed, and hopefully thrust into the spotlight of success. They ALL wanted that spotlight of success to be as solo artists. It's didn't quite work out that way. But, they ALL chose to try and achieve that spotlight as a group.

If one has been paying attention, from the beginning, Camila made no bones about her desired dream. She has stated from the beginning, she wanted to be a "pop star". Of course she wanted the spotlight. Lauren has said, from the beginning, she wanted to be "famous and travel the world". She wanted to be a famous star, in the spotlight.

Since you have chosen to compare Camila and Lauren, I'll answer to them. You seem to think there is this big chasm between the two. There really isn't. The only difference is the outcome, thus far. Lauren STILL wants the spotlight and fame, she just wants it on her terms. The problem is, it's damn near impossible to get that success on ones own terms, in an Industry that insists on dictating the terms.

That's a more recent decision on Lauren's part, by the way. You seem to be conveniently forgetting, that until 2019, Lauren also "chose" to play the game on THEIR terms. It was most likely, a two year PR contract, with a drug addicted gang-banger that turned her off of THE GAME. Lauren was pissed, that after all that, her debut album got shelved in 2019. I DON'T BLAME HER!!! I'm sure that also contributed to her decision, that THEIR TERMS suck ass.

Does Camila "crave" the big concerts, accolades, and people loving her? Yes, she does. They ALL do, or they wouldn't have signed solo contracts after putting 5H on hiatus. Instead, they would have said "this Industry sucks" and walked away. They didn't. They ALL craved more.

Lauren wants the same thing Camila has, just on her terms. Lauren doesn't "hate fame". She hates the negative side of fame. She hates having her life dictated by terms and schedules. She hates being told what to say, and how to act. She hates that fans get all up in her business.

She loves the nicer side of fame. She wants to see a lot of people come and see her perform. She loves to be on stage and see her fans singing and dancing to her music. She appreciates the accolades. She loves the love she gets from her fans. She would love even more, if her fans would multiply, and buy and stream the hell out of her music, instead of always bitching, telling her who she is, and how she should be, and getting all up in her damn business.

All one has to do, is listen to Lauren and the anger inside her about all this mess. She wants more. She wants more than a fucking "room full of people" enjoying her art. She wants a stadium full of people enjoying her art. WHO THE FUCK WOULDN'T. She just wants that stadium full of people to enjoy her art, and not expect more than that from her. I'm sure Camila would appreciate the same damn thing.

Unfortunately, that's simply not how the music industry is set up, these days. The difference is, Camila has accepted the fact, that she IS the product. Lauren has not. Lauren don't want to be a product. She wants her music/art to be the product.

I've said it a million times, the music industry hardly sells music, anymore. The music Industry sells the artist. The music has become a bi-product of the Artist. The Industry knows which artists will sell, and which ones won't. They know what image will sell, and which ones won't. Be the artist THEY want you to be, THEY'LL make you a star, and maybe even famous. If not, good luck.

Finally, you are completely right. There isn't a contract out there, that says someone can't come out of the closet. That would be blatant discrimination, and wouldn't pass the muster of the legal system. But, when you sign away control of your own image in a contract, that gives the contract holder the rights to dictate what your PUBLIC image will be. If they want you to have a straight PUBLIC image, then you'll have a straight PUBLIC image. If THEY want you to have a "good girl next door" image, then that's the PUBLIC image you'll have. You signed away your rights to be your authentic self, when you signed away the rights to control how others see you, period!!!

IN MY OPINION, Camila has come out of the closet so damn many times, I can't even count any more. She just has to do so, in a way that isn't obvious to those who have control over how others see her. Take her last video, for instance. When one listens to terms she chooses to use, and does a bit of research, you'll discover, what I believe is the hidden meaning behind that video. If I'm correct in MY THINKING, she has yet again, screamed her truth from the rooftops, for those who choose to listen, and understand.

As for the PR contracts...I was the first person to say, Camila made the choice to sign into those particular contracts. When one signs away control over their own public image, it also allows those in control to dictate that one MUST enter into PR contracts to help THEM present the PUBLIC image THEY want for that particular artist. The artist gets a say in which person that PR is with, simply because they HAVE to agree to sign the contract with that particular person.

So, did Camila agree to sign into this PR contract with the human hair ball? She absolutely did....And NO ONE should be surprised by it. It is quite clear that this shit has been in the making, since June/July of 2015. Hell, after that shit show with the British Bore, even the majority of the fandom was asking for it. The timing was right, and here we are.

Lastly, Camila is always stepping out of the closet, like I said above. IN MY OPINION, she wants her fans to know who she truly is, but that doesn't mean she wants to tell the world in definitive terms. Like Lauren, she wishes people could simply appreciate the music, and leave per private life out of it, but she also knows that's a pipe dream, and not reality.

She knows, the second she decides to speak her truth aloud, her career takes, yet another, blow. I also think, that's one of the reasons THEY, through the media, make sure her ignorant youth is continuously brought up. The more she has to fight to get through that hardship, the more she will want to keep her truth a secret. (yes, a definite manipulation tactic)

Camila could decide to say, fuck it all, and come out with her truth at any time, after her contract is up. She could also decide never to PUBLICLY come out. It's her choice, unless people in power decide to take that choice away from her.

Whitney Houston took her truth with her to the grave. Taylor lives with her truth, one foot in the closet, and one foot out. That's basically what Camila is doing now. IN MY OPINION. Her public foot is in the closet, and her music/art foot is out. If people cared more about the music/art, they would get the authentic truth. If you care more about her public image, you'll get exactly what THEY want her to be.

People try to tell you, and others this all the damn time. Take the recent interviews. If you notice, Camila, and others are always saying how vulnerable, honest, and authentic she is, IN HER ART. Her truth is in her craft, whether acting or music. Her PUBLIC image, is just that, an image to sell to the PUBLIC. Everyone in the Entertainment Industry has one...Even Lauren. Yes, she did play the game. She still has her toe in the game, she just isn't playing it at a high level, right now...and, unfortunately for her, it shows!!!

There! I answered your book with a damn novel. As always, I could be wrong with my opinions, but they are my opinions!!!!!! !! !!!!

[heybaetae]

it might just be my opinion, but i feel like people had too high expectations for hobi's album' numbers because of bts' success. there are a lot of people who only support bts because of certain members and because of that, not every member will achieve the same things for their solo work. it is sad, and the mv views are sad but overall i don't think hobi is doing bad? i feel like comparing him to jungkook and left & right now is really unfair because jk collabbed with a western artist and it pains me to say this but hobi will not have the same numbers as jungkook did. it's really unfair to hobi because he worked really hard on this album and clearly he has such a fun time promoting it, but a lot of people won't support it because of reasons. and sometimes those reasons are completely dumb and sometimes they are reasonable. i just wish we could stop calling everything a flop if it doesn't end day 1 with like 10 million views and 10 million streams because IT ISN'T. hobi didn't flop! and neither will the rest of them. breaking a bts record is really hard, it is something other GROUPS can't do, so if any of them as solo artists achieve something like that, it is a huge achievement!

i also feel like that after dynamite and butter, people had way higher expectations on proof before we even knew anything about it and it being an anthology album rather than a full new album made people mad or disappointed and stopped them from supporting the album in any form. again it might be just my opinion but if we strictly look at numbers i feel like bts isn't getting the same 'treatment' as they did last year. and yet they broke many records with proof so... numbers aren't everything. their music is here for us so we can enjoy it, so we can relate to the lyrics and find comfort in them. they share these thoughts with us and sure it's nice to give them awards and watch the mv numbers climb higher but at the end of the day that doesn't matter... i really don't think any of them will do bad while doing their solo work.

yeah, i feel like i already need to clarify my tags on the previous ask because when i said people are being unfair to hobi, i wasn’t talking about low youtube views or streams or chart numbers based on which member of bts it is. like you said, people focus way too much on that and he’s doing well. it’s unavoidable in any group that the members will never have matching numbers, that’s not news, but it’s not something that needs to be measured and thrown in each other’s faces either. of course i’m always gonna think they each deserve better, but it’s never gonna be something i use to play into this really weird fantasy that some members are victims and others have everything handed to them.

i was talking about some of hobi’s biggest and loudest solo supporters (and plenty of ot7 army too) refusing to believe that he, himself, took part in the decisions surrounding this album rollout and trying to pin blame on a company he’s been with for a decade and clearly trusts because it’s easier than accepting the possibility that hobi just wanted things done this way. so pushing the narrative that he’s being sabotaged is somehow easier to swallow than the fact that this 28 year old man definitely has more creative control than people are willing to give him credit for. the idea that he isn’t letting his first solo album be something people treat like just another product to put on their shelves that they’ll never touch and let collect dust (read: physical CDs) is something people can’t wrap their head around because we’re so used to being bombarded with things to buy with bts releases. don’t get me wrong, i have NO problem criticizing hybe when i genuinely feel like they’re taking advantage of the boys and ARMY when it comes to selling shit...but the reaction to this has been kind of ridiculous to me. you can be confused. you can prefer different things. you can feel however you want. you cannot claim to know better than a multibillion dollar corporation that this man’s group played a major hand in building from the ground up and decide that he doesn’t have some power, some leverage to tell them how he wants to present his art to the world. part of this second chapter is letting each of them do things their own way and if it turns out that some of their albums are released in different ways pertaining to their own individual visions, then so fucking be it dude. i’m not telling you not to question things. i’m asking you to have more faith in their artistic choices and not immediately jump to such negative conclusions.

of course there’s WAY more to that decision behind the scenes that we don’t know about environmentally-wise, or how he isn’t the first artist they’ve tried this out with, he isn’t the mistreated guinea pig experiment people are painting him to be, and that almost none of us actually work in music distribution so there’s really no point in speculating the reasons behind it. there was clearly a concept agreed upon and this is what we’re getting. that’s it. at the end of the day, we don’t know shit.

me just saying any of this probably won’t go over well with people, but it’s just something i’ve been noticing since PROOF was announced, then lolla, and even after the festa dinner when they all LITERALLY spoke about numbers and feeling like machines/products of a system that isn’t healthy or allows room for individual growth. there was disappointment about the anthology album before the dinner was released because like you said, people had their hopes and expectations very high. we didn’t know what was coming yet. people seem to think that just because they buy the albums, bts need to work themselves into the ground and give them everything they want. then when the dinner released, it was “they deserve rest and don’t owe us anything and we should reflect on ourselves too” for about all of five minutes until JITB was announced and it went right back to “we want this, this, this....wait stop this isn’t what i imagined so i don’t like it, i don’t accept it, they’re disrespecting him, he would never decide this because i know him better than he knows himself” and it’s just like............a never ending cycle of what the fuck is going on. 

we’re so fucking lucky we’ve been given the opportunity to enjoy solo music THIS soon, but we haven’t had the time to adjust the way we receive it or behave around it because we’re still letting solo stans steer conversations into absurd territories and influencing how people see/think and all of this is what i meant about being unfair to him. achievements are wonderful, goals are fun if you engage with them right, but ultimately this fandom has become a cesspit of bragging rights, conspiracy theories, psychoanalyzing the work instead of just listening to the person who made it like a normal person, not letting people enjoy music at face value, and complaining. i don’t think he put all this work into his album for this. i don’t doubt that he’d love achievements and appreciate them and we should absolutely strive to meet them, but when it becomes more important to you than the music...when this becomes like a job to you and you use it against other fans...when you keep treating certain members like a martyr with no evidence except your own ideas of how things should be done....when you continue to get angry when your own expectations aren’t met as a consumer....that’s where you need to reevaluate.

trust the boys. listen to them. please.

[billdecker]

a life update...

i was meant to go to robbie williams’ homecoming gig at vale park this saturday gone. i made the decision a few weeks ago i wasn’t going to go because of covid anxiety and general health stuff. it sucked bc he was my childhood/teen absolute favourite and the last time i saw him i was 11 years old and it was his last tour with take that. i also wanted to go bc i’d be spending time with my mum. despite her living like 10mins away and my dad visiting almost every sunday she NEVER visits. it’s been since christmas 2018?? so i had this nice idea we’d spend some time seeing him and i could take her to see him like she took me to see take that. it sucked and it sucked even more she took my sister to see him when she said she was going to take my dad. 

anyway, she asked me if i wanted anything recording and i said no regrets (teen angst) and angels (my nan loved him too and it was her fav). and i was fine. a bit sad on saturday but i coped. then i was bombarded with videos and pics from her and my sis of different songs. the first i opened was he sang could it be magic. that song was/is my fav TT song. it means a lot. when TT were first around they were pure escapism for me when my dad got made redundant and things were absolute shit as a kid growing up in major’s britain. likeTT were the one thing that made me happy. and as soon as i saw the video i LOST it. i went from feeling like ‘this sucks’ to full blown breakdown where D almost called out family/medical help. 

it didn’t just felt like another thing i’ve lost in my life due to my agoraphobia. i’ve missed plenty of gigs. missed baynton do the play holes. i didn’t even get to visit my nan before she was fine. i’ve rationalised all of this fine. it’s not my fault. but this time i absolutely lost it. i haven’t been that bad in YEARS. like, i didn’t want to be here anymore. what’s the point of my life when i have no life at all? i can’t go out and enjoy things. i don’t see anything or anyone. my own mum won’t even come to see me. i just felt hopeless. 

but then i chatted to a very good friend and i felt better. watching the videos from within the crowd made me feel ill alone. i’m scared of open spaces but also packed crowds like that. the claustrophobia was choking me as i watched the videos. i realised i wouldn’t cope with how loud it is, the bright lights, all of the pissheads surrounding me (my sis said everyone was tanked up), and maybe it’s ok to accept my limitations. it’s difficult when people say you have no life and you’re small minded if you don’t travel or experience things, or that you see people flaunting their lives on social media and you’re just stuck in your flat. if i got some sort of diagnosis then at least i could begin to work towards coping mechanisms. i could live a small life but a happy one. 

i’m not depressed. i know what it’s like to be depressed. i’ve not been on any medication for 11 years now. but when it’s the outside and sensory stuff i just can’t cope. i’m not gonna get an nhs diagnosis any time soon (they’ll just go on about trying to get me to have a gastric band) so i’ve gotta sell most of my jewellery collection to get the money for a private one. but i’m also tentative to do that because 1) it’s a couple of grand and 2) what if i pay that money and they go lol no, you don’t have that diagnosis (we suspect autism from everything). i’ve been misdiagnosed constantly with various mental illnesses since the age of 15 and none of them fit me at all. i’m almost 39. i don’t know if i’d cope again. 

so now three/four days on i’m still completely drained. i’m spending my days zoned out. my drafts post saved is huge because i can’t bring myself to watch any dr who yet to make gifs to put in the queue (my martha gifs have nowhere near the numbers the rose ones did, surprise surprise). today is the first day i feel a bit more myself and i can write this. 

it just all sucks.  i wish i had something nice to tell you all about. 

at least love island is back