#accept my fist
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CHAMPIONS BRACKET ROUND 4: D1
LOVE-BULLET is about modern cupids earning their way back to life through helping people find love. Catch These Hands is about an adult delinquent who can't let go of her school persona losing a fight to her old rival, and consequently needing to date her.
#yuri#manga#girls love#matches#love bullet#catch these hands#lovebullet#accept my fist#accept my fist of love#inee#murata#watashi no kobushi wo uketomete
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Thinking about Fallen London as a backdrop for the theme of the horror of the inevitable today. I know it's The Classic Cosmic Horror Thing, but it's really woven through all aspects of Neathy life even as the PC is written powerful and capable: the constant backdrop of breath-holding for the Sixth City, the Masters and the Bazaar as a force higher on the Chain with a plan that cares not who it tramples, a ton of the Destinies aside from the LotN ones, literally anything to do with the Dawn Machine, the Flukes...the thing that changes you irrevocably could be around any corner, could drop at any second. Everything else, every other story told, is either dealing with that or written in its shadow. Sometimes the game lets you deal with it by fighting back, with the message that even though you can't hold a candle to all of it, you can change some of it and that's enough reason to try. Sometimes, the game lets you deal with it by getting drunk off your ass with a dozen rats and stealing a painting or something of the sort. Both are honestly such valid ways of dealing with The Cosmic Horror Of It All, as is just rolling out of bed every day and complaining about the weather, and the spread of each that the game's writing has is I think what's made it stick so hard as one of my favourite pieces of horror media despite only about 20% of it reading like horror.
#fallen london#keeping my oc rambling to the tags#part of why i like this theme so much is that when pushed farther it chafes so much with who Hallowrove is#the number 1 way they deal with something unpleasant is through constant acting and momentum#and when it's something too big for them to do that about the number 1 way becomes ignoring and avoidance#but they *can't do that* when the horror is reaching out to touch them and their friends#it forces them to cope by beating their fists against something so massive and inevitable#they can't even contemplate fully what they're doing without the dread setting in#or else freeze in the face of it#i think they've changed though,I've realized today,from being exposed to it#they almost expect the horror now#they're not doing any *less* about it but it's easier for them to accept that it's there in the periphery#and they can look at it almost sidelong now#instead of either ignoring it completely or fixating on it#was rereading some older stuff for them today and it's interesting#seeing how the ways they react are super in character still but i can see the change from now to then#I like horror. i think it tells a lot about a character in a short period of time how they react to that#anyways. uhh don't ask about why I'm thinking about the horror of the uncontrollable rn i am normal and fine i prommy
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literally nothing has the effect on me that Ryuji has. that guy has permanently rearranged the neurons in my brain or something idk. If I don't think about him for my allotted 23 hours a day I start gnawing at my enclosure. Genuinely my number one top character in anything ever. I might be more abnormal about him now than i was 8 years ago which is really saying something
#BITING GNAWING RIPPING TEARING. SQUEEZING HIM IN MY FIST UNTIL HE SQUEAKS LIKE A DOG TOY.#i think the extremity of my hyperfixations has gotten more intense since ive accepted the autism thing#since im making an effort to mask less and thus not trying to seem interested in things a 'normal' amount#or suppressing the fixations to appear more 'normal' yknow#literally it makes me feel like i need to go run around outside like a dog in the yard to get the energy out
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something something foils moving in opposite directions Goku's always happy to seek and fight stronger opponents because he spent most of his life being the strongest guy in the room and Vegeta wants to be the strongest/is always exhausted to find stronger opponents because he spent most of his life having to navigate his survival around the whims of the strongest guy in the universe room and so Goku has a foundation of safety and stability and so spends his time craving challenge and adventure and Vegeta has a foundation of challenge and adventure and spends his time craving safety and stability and the overlaid section of their venn diagram is that the only way they know how acquire and maintain those things is through battle
#thank you this has been the laziest media analysis post of my career#dbtag#media analysis#something something a game to goku is a threat to vegeta etc#there's a pinned thought here about how Vegeta also didn't learn about the dragon balls until he was ?? 30?? and so all loss is permanent#and goku has been familiar since he was ~12 and hasn't faced a permanent consequence since he was 10 years old and even then he got closure#sometimes I think about how Vegeta saw Trunks die and how Krillin was mad at him for reacting since they could fix it with the dragon balls#but Vegeta has very limited experience with the dragon so to him in that moment that was permanent and Trunks was Dead. Forever.#And we talked before in a 2am post about Vegeta having never experienced grief born of love and I stand by it because his feelings then wer#still very new and very odd and not something he'd accepted until that moment so it was raw power but not as powerful as it could've been#all this to say in my heart of hearts I think Vegeta deserves to retire at the end of super (if super continues) -- not as a warrior#but as an infantryman. he's a prince and now he's got his domain and his family and his planet to look after and I think he deserves#to go home and stay home and help piccolo bully gohan into training more often when goku inevitably leaves to hop the multiverse#geets wanted to take a sabbatical when Bulla was born but didn't get the chance because Freeza coming back freaked him out too much#but whether freeza gets a redemption arc or gets defeated -- Granolah's arc seemed to shift his perspective on being the strongest#and I just grips fist I just think it would be a really nice full circle for Vegeta to inherit his throne in a way he never expected and#finally get his kingdom to look after and protect in the way that he was looking forward to being king of his own planet all those years ag#Goku's got Broly and Jiren and Hit and all the others to keep him busy and happy now -- and if Freeza gets a redemption arc he'll probably#continue playing slap-ass with Goku for the rest of his life -- and Vegeta's got Gohan and Piccolo and Goten and Trunks#I just think them getting a nice bittersweet 'This is where we part ways' would be really nice for both of them because !!#They couldn't have done this without each other. They couldn't have known this kind of life was possible without each other.#So they swap lots and live happier than they ever imagined they could be#especially since Vegeta has proved to himself that he can close any gap Goku creates in progress that's not a concern anymore#And obvs the door's always open!! There's no point closing it Vegeta's tried the locks they don't work on Goku#anyway here's me putting the whole essay in the tags again#this isn't an essay as much as it is stream of consciousness tag blogging#anyway i'm too lazy to write fic or draw comics so we get ramblings instead
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v crying in the notes ur all (a few comments.) so stupid. the cancer detecting ai is Good. the goblin tool for disabled and nd people is Good. everything else is ontologically bad and completely distinct and the Good things warrant no criticism or investigation. if we're arbitrarily picking and choosing bc we like the outcomes of some things i need ai art back on that list bc i think ai art fucks and plagiarism rules and i want to see it forever
#i just simply start wailing and gnashing my teeth and beating my fists into the dirt anytime someone is like#[delivering a critique of a thing] but the version that helps disabled people is Good! i have no problems w that! even if its the exact#same thing im railing against!#<- am i insane. bhsdfg am i overly influenced by spending so much time in zero waste spaces where it can be openly acknowledged that#ie medical waste is 1. horrific 2. an acceptable cost to most people. fjhbsdfgbh am i overly influenced by the insane stance im#developing on Ethics in my brain lately
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mizutaigen is literally like. the first "toxic" m/f ship i've ever cared for. cuz like usually my taste in m/f ships is basically "unhinged baddie" x "badass wifeguy" *
* (see:yen/geralt. trevor/sypha. adolin/shallan. kataang but katara is sane and they're literally so wholesome like theyre traumatised kids in love who are each other's emblem of hope in a war-torn world! so basically they don't count. anyway. i'm rambling.)
and to that end my friend called mizutaigen yaoi-adjacent and im like. yeah you're right actually cuz like hell yeah non-binary mizu and bisexual taigen rights and all the gender fuckery in the show in general
but also like.
theres just SOMETHING else about mizutaigen that just GETS me. like there's a special secret sauce like the pheromones in that one sephora lotion attracting spiders and i am the silly spider!!! there's just something about it!!! it's not even the enemies to lovers trope cuz i personally am not even usually into that (obv it's fine if you are. but yk.)
so as i keep rotating these thoughts around i thiiink it's the fact that, yknow, theyre so similar. like i honestly truly think they could be besties in another universe: a kinder universe where taigen was not taught to hate. a universe where mizu was not born a girl in a deeply misogynistic society or half-white in a xenophobic homogeneous society.
yeah now that i think about it that really just might be THE secret sauce!!! like the fact that they COULD be perfect and happy together, if only things were different, if only they werent themselves.
smth v bittersweet about that's just driving me insane and makes me want to root for them to overcome all those obstacles, to say "fuck all that" (re:the world and all its fucked up shit) and find each other in the end. to eventually become each other's fav person and confidant. who obv still bicker and tease and insult each other all the time but they dont really mean any of it and over time it just becomes a running gag between them and no one else has to get it because it's just between the two of them.
#mizu x taigen#taigen x mizu#taimizu#[clenches fist] it's about the POTENTIAL of it all!!!!!#like taigen's last words in s1 being 'we're not done yet' like ?!? has me WANTING to see more. wanting to see them grow with each other#like i want taigen by the end to be ridiculously head over heels WHIPPED and SMITTEN willing to die and kill and just be BETTER. for mizu.#mizu. the person who changed his entire life. his entire worldview. pulled the rug from under him and made him a man forever changed.#to overcome his selfishness so he can be mizu's HOME in a world that doesn't allow her one#i want him to end up deciding like. 'on purpose. im going to love you on purpose.'#and mizu no matter how much she tries to convince herself that she cannot love or be loved. ends up accepting it anyway#love as work and violence but also love as rest and safety#and also bcs taigen represents the ideals of society. him willing to change & grow also represents society's potential to change & progress#LMAO okay sorry i absolutely cannot stop rambling about these bitches the brainworms are insane#bcs i just noticed that other mizutaigen enjoyers tend to also be in the same fandom circles for ships that i just. do not like. at all#and wondered like huh. i wonder why that is. and wondering what makes mizutaigen different#idk just ignore me i dont even know if im making sense my brain is goop from working on my research proposal#shut up haydar#fandom.rtf
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CHAMPIONS BRACKET ROUND 3: D1
Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon follows a woman who struggles to keep a relationship with men finding solace in her newfound friendship with a coworker. Catch These Hands is about an adult delinquent losing a fight against her old rival, and having to date her as a result.
#yuri#manga#gl#girls love#wlw#sapphic#matches#waning moon & doughnuts#kaketa tsuki to doughnuts#doughnuts under a crescent moon#crescent moon and doughnuts#usui shio#catch these hands#accept my fist of love#accept my fist#murata#watashi no kobushi wo uketomete
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me upon getting the teeny tiniest sliver of Isaac food 🥹


ALSO it's absolutely hilarious to me that they absolutely did NOT want to deal with fully drawing/animation Vaseraga 🤣 rip to my guy, tho truly I cannot blame them sdhdfhdj
#*slamming my fists on the table* please give me more Isaac food i need more Isaac food#also give me a Vaseraga figure to go with the Zeta one#they'll never give me an Isaac figure and I can sadly accept that just please give him more attention in game gdhdthf#granblue fantasy#gbf#chatterbox#vaseraga#zeta#isaac#cassius#i didn't talk about him but he's there too so 🤣
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oh btw just know that your fear/anxiety CAN be diminished or become almost nonexistent if worked on, even if you feel like you’re forever doomed to be afraid.
for example, this time last year i was absolutely HORRIFIED of going to the dentist. i had some traumatizing experiences in my early childhood and dental stuff was just panic inducing even tho i had braces for three years and had to go like every month. after getting them taken off i hadn’t been in over 13 years and was basically forced to go once my molar became infected and other cavities were eating my teeth.
but i have the right dentist now and i walked out of my first appointment practically unafraid. i was a little nervous about some of my bigger procedures, but it was nothing compared to the fear i used to experience. not even any shaking or stomach pain or anything. even with my issues with the numbing today, it rolled right off my shoulders, and the same goes for so many other situations i’ve been in that, a few years ago, i’m certain would’ve had me panicking.
i managed to get myself out of a situation that didn’t serve me as well as get therapy, and although i have the occasional moment of anxiety especially because i have trauma issues, i don’t live in fear almost every day like i used to. for years and years i thought i would just suffer for the rest of my life because that’s just the way it was, my brain was messed up and i WAS my anxiety/trauma. it defined me, and in some ways it still does, but it doesn’t completely control me like it used to.
it’s an ongoing process and i’m sure it looks different for everybody, but just a couple of years have gone by since i was at my lowest of lows but now i think i’m the happiest and healthiest i’ve ever been. like literally in my entire life. i’m not totally “fixed” or perfect by any means and i have setbacks sometimes but i can go to the dentist or have my car break down without feeling like the world is going to explode. i never thought it would be possible, but here i am. just thought i would share in case anyone feels like they’re hopeless or whatnot, because you aren’t.
#rambles.#trauma really screws with out brains and it’s tough but it can be dealt with#tbh getting away from my family and having more control over my life made the ultimate difference#my therapist helped with that transition and has seen so much improvement#there are good therapists who accept medicaid btw#there are also sometimes local programs that can help#and even just your regular doctor can prescribe meds. mine did#the antidepressant helped saved me#just an fyi. it’s rough i get it. but use any resources when possible#and if you already have the money to deal with stuff. then fucking do it lol i will fist fight you
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Not a comic of the web variety, but

I love these two dinguses.
(Catch These Hands/Accept My Fist of Love)
#also super curious if this is a direct translation#or if it had to be localized#not polls#catch these hands#accept my fist of love
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Faut guilt gear in those tier lists on Reddit is always a 50/50 if they really know him (my interpretation is correct after all sneek snork) or if they don't understand the man's core.
The best tierlists are where Faut and Chaos are in the same tier (Yuri) and it's accurate (seen like 3. God bless my darlings.)
This one is blatantly wrong like. HAVE YOU SEEN STRIVE STORY MODE. Clasped hands. You think Chaos' favourite drink is whiskey. I'm not saying milpico has to be his favourite but if he used that drink to explain stuff, (serves a purpose in telling his story! Gotta be high up for him) I'd say he'd like that drink, and perhaps other similar drinks a damn lot.
Faut's favourite is also whiskey. Al. Alright man sure whatever man I. Whatever whateverr even.
#non alcoholic drinks included btw!! they think their favourite drinks are fucking whiskey. clenches fist. you dont know them like i do.#if i had to give something to faut i think it'd be. something sweeter. like a milkshake or smthn.#personally. doesnt speak to me like a guy that likes carbonated drinks. yknow. but i am willing to be argued on this.#i think he'd like the creaminess of a milkshake.#can i also say i hc Faut to be terrible with alcohol. as in. like 1 drink and he's gone. not like passed out but definitely. like.#much more than tipsy#and i already said about chaos liking milpico. so. something in that similar ballpark would be acceptable.#sorry. these guys are my family. i know them. they're living in my head. they talk to me.#ah rambling#mister omelette#silly doctor man
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soggy dragon grandpa will now be subjected to my whims >:3c
#lati speaks#watch me triple crown his ass he's gonna be a strong boi i will make him accept my love and affection#him and wrio are now fist fighting with zhongli over who gets to be the ultimate favorite <33
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My commission is always open but i rarely post my arts anymore so everyone just assume i don't do comm anymore💦
but tbh, nowadays i feel...afraid of drawing
#idk#just your usual burn out#or depression?#but tbh#lots of times i just...hate drawing#i really need other hobbies..#not saying i don't accept comm#just...gottta fist fight my inner demon and “work”
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y’all. i made the mistake of falling for another character in the same source as my f/o. I FEEL WEIRD AND CONFLICTED ABOUT IT!!!
my question to you fellow self shippers out there is: what do you do when you fall for another character in the same source as your f/o and you’re worried about being unfaithful ;-;
#f/o#s/i#self shipping#self ship#self ship community#fictional other#self insert#self shipping community#like ordinarily in my head i would just separate the two universes#but it still feels sad and weird :(#i think i’d love it if Fray was poly#or at least was okay with letting ME be poly#but that’s not what i imagine his character to be#or maybe i am just too much of a coward to imagine his character as loving and accepting no matter what *fist of rage*
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