#abuse tag

[valtsv]

actually sickening in this day and age of "instant access to a wealth of information at our fingertips" how utterly useless online search engines are at providing easily accessible helpful resources for learning more about abuse trauma i've experienced and would rather not disclose to anyone outside of a handful of trusted close friends and my therapist for my own peace of mind, meaning i have to slog through hundreds of articles and social media posts about how i'm a sick individual who is more likely to become a violent dangerous criminal and/or abuser because of something i had no choice in and did not ask for in my quest to find a single fucking resource that offers advice on how to cope with and begin to heal from what happened to me. like damn no fucking wonder people like me end up violent and poorly socialized when that's all we're allowed to be. i can literally find instructions for making homemade bombs faster than i can find information on how to help myself be a better person.

[illzazzorino]

God abuse is fucking isolating, like beyond your abuser trying to isolate you or making you think you don't deserve better its because the culture is just really shitty to survivors and always assume that whenever we talk about our experiences we just want attention or are lying or exaggerating for clout or something, or like we're hurting them somehow by talking about our experiences, which is deadass what my abusers have done any time I tried to talk about my feelings or set a boundary so it's like "oh I guess they're right. I was the problem all along 🙃"

[fobredactedove]

housewife patrick but hes just so bad at it. so unimaginably bad at it. ditzy bubble headed boywife whos good for nothing. pete beats him when he doesn't do his chores btw

<3

[pup-deaddove]

Oh, you can’t get off unless he gives you at least 2 deepish cuts 😏

-💖 Anon

Or maybe a bruise that's a little too purple that it looks a little green

[the-moogle-of-your-nightmares]

tfw you're put off by a character you used to like/tolerate in a piece of media you're revisiting, in a different way than other characters you're going 'ugh' or 'HI WHAT THE FUCK' at this time around, and you realize it's because now you've got an abusive ex under your belt that they remind you of and oh that's why lmao

[ilovedonnabeneviento]

This describes the relationship I have with my mom to a tee unfortunately

Look, with very few exceptions no one sets out with the intention of being a shitty abusive parent. A lot of shitty parents think they're doing it right. A lot of shitty parents think they're doing their best. A lot of shitty parents think that abusive shit they do is not really abusive and for the greater good of their child.

A lot of shitty parents love their kids, and would die for them, but they can still be abusive and shitty parents because they do shit they learned from their parents and don't pause a moment to think they may be doing it wrong because "I love my kid, abusive parents don't love their kids, so I can't be an Abusive Parent, not me, I'm good". A lot of shitty parents have their good moments, their good sides, and their kids can love them for it and then be doubly hurt when the good moment ends and things are shitty again.

Shitty parents are complicated people, the kids they raise are complicated people, and human relationships as a whole are a complex hot mess. There is not one right or wrong way to respond to abuse or choose how to handle the relationship to a shitty parent. No we don't wanna hear how you'd personally handle it in our shoes. You're not in our shoes. STFU.

BTW this is not some weird defense of shitty and abusive parents but for Christ's sake, this attitude that Shitty Parents - either real or fictional - are monsters out of a scary story who are contractually obliged to be shitty 100% of the time, all around, in every aspect of their lives, is actually harmful. It's untrue. It's stupid. It will lead kids of Shitty Parents to think that well, THEIR parents are not 100% evil and dastardly all the time, therefore they're not Actually Abusive, I must be exaggerating.

Shitty parents are not old school Disney villains breaking into song about how they love to do evil deeds to hurt their own children. They're people. Learn to tell the two things apart, for fuck's sake.

[lgbtlunaverse]

The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

[violetsandshrikes]

I met a girl when I was fresh out of high school in undergrad who frankly, annoyed me quite a bit, but I also had an inkling to continue to be compassionate to her given a few things about her life/background/family

I ran into her two years ago. Last week, her daughter turned 1. This girl, let’s called her “P”, is a really good example of why I never feel comfortable mocking trad wives

Her perfect trad husband, who was a shining young figure in the local religious community, volunteered in all sorts of groups, well loved in his workplace and everything else, beat her up at 1 month post-partum. I reached out to her after seeing her desperately asking for a stroller on a page, confused and slightly concerned knowing both of them came from wealthy backgrounds.

The reality for lots of tradwives living “perfect lives” is this: P was immediately ostracised. All the wealth of her husband and her family meant absolutely nothing if she wasn’t in favour and doing what she was told. Her child and her well-being didn’t matter. P, at 25 years old, was basically deemed an oopsie, and left on her own to figure out how to pay for herself, a baby, find housing, and every other task you can think of.

Having known many of these women (and supported many of these women), another factor most people don’t consider is this: they are intentionally raised to be helpless. When I immediately offered my support to P, she really needed it. This young woman needed to be guided through how to apply for government assistance, how to weigh up rentals and apply for them, how to apply for jobs, how to sign up for childcare. How to sign up for your own power and internet, and how to connect them.

It wasn’t that she was “stupid”, or incapable, or spoiled. While it looks like they’re being sheltered, in reality, these women are practically being held hostage. Sure, they might be allowed to learn things that are expected of them (see: basic cooking, baking, cleaning, child rearing, women’s bible studies, hosting, and so forth) but they are heavily controlled from family life into marriage life, and they are never given the opportunity or the reality of what many of us would consider basic adult tasks.

She’s doing okay now. Her daughter turned 1, is happy and healthy. They live frugally, but they have a roof over their heads and the essentials. I often babysit for her so she can attend counselling, or go to a woman’s support group. She is painfully aware that she has so much to learn about how to live as an adult.

I don’t envy tradwives, but I don’t find any joy in mocking them either. Even when they live the most picturesque lives, they’re also practically living a real life Jenga game. If (and often, when) it comes tumbling down, they’re screwed too, and they often have 0 skills to help themselves or find community (that again, isn’t carefully curated).

[wildbasil]

things haven't been great but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷

[pathologictwo]

y’all remember we’re talking ab allegations of pedophilia and human trafficking and domestic violence right. real-life abuse. this isn’t fucking hannibal or Genshin or some shit even as a joke these posts are fucking weird

[valtsv]

Sorry if it's personal, but why do you still talk to your parents if they don't like you? You don't depend on them anymore, so you don't have to put up with how they and their friends treat you

no it's okay. it's complicated, but while i don't feel indebted to them, i don't really have much of a support system outside of them. my independence is very tenuous and until i get a firmer foothold i'm wary about cutting them off completely, because if they decided to retaliate i would be kinda screwed. they're also like... they don't hate me, they just don't love me enough. in some ways they're amazing parents, but in others they're incredibly cruel. i'm aware that i can't live like this forever, but it's terrifying to me to consider going full burned bridges all at once. i've distanced myself from them as much as i'm comfortable with for now, and i'm hopeful that if i'm able to build a stronger social network and better life for myself i'll be able to escape completely.

[fobredactedove]

I neeeed Pete to be my shitty chaser boyfriend who treats me like shit and ignores me in public but swears he loves me when we're alone together. Pete loves me sooooooo much, I'm the best girlfriend ever, but now he has to do an interview where he talks about how gross dick is 🥺🤭💖

<3

[pup-deaddove]

Thank you! I have another:

Serial killer Mikey abducts you, intending for you to be his newest victim. However, you’re also royally fucked up and give him full reign on the condition he fucks before the final blow! He loves it so much that he keeps you around instead

-💖 Anon

I can't stop thinking about how he probably can't fuck you without roughing you up a bit

[borderlinejackiee]

[jigsaw-copycat]

who's coming to the saw patrol double feature /j

[ID: An article headline from the website Den of Geek reading "Forget Barbenheimer and Get Ready for Saw Patrol. Saw X and Paw Patrol: The Mighty Movie are now set to be released on the same day." End ID.]

[agueforts]

ayda aguefort