#absorbed them if you will

[bagelboys-withcreamcheese]

I’m actually the only person who understands that character sorry. other people say they do but they are. liars

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The squad of all time has arrived on scene.

[lazylittledragon]

ok someone please correct me if i'm wrong but am i weird for thinking those 'audiobooks don't count as reading' posts are ableist as fuck????

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

as someone who rarely listens to music, i am unceasingly in wonderment at the emotional connection many humans have to music as a medium. genres & styles & artists and all that jazz --you guys care a lot about this stuff. i sit marveling at the sheer commonplaceness of people feeling an intimate connection to individual songs & albums & musicians. to the point musical preferences are often considered a meaningful part of one's identity as an individual....thats crazy. so much passion...so much fierceness of feeling ...people say "you have to listen to this song" and i listen for 30 seconds and say "neat!" bc it is, it's neat! the chorus is catchy! i might tuck it away to hum to myself later. but for now im putting my earplugs back in returning to the glorious silence that my essence depends on the same way my lungs depend on an oxygen-rich atmosphere. u beset me with fascination

[bearsandswears]

Asena is perfectly comfortable with nonsexual nudity (you kind of have to be as a werewolf, the clothes don’t come with), but seeing a chance to make Gale blush activates her prey drive.

[elodieunderglass]

I haven’t watched Dungeon Meshi, but I always enjoy the dashboard osmosis experience and have a peculiar visual memory. Here is what I believe Dungeon Meshi to be mostly about. No complicating experiences with the text, or indeed character references, fed into this extremely clear vision, which I believe I torrented directly from the astral plane at the same time as the creator was logged on

[hyolks]

idiot who doesnt realize how much theyre gonna have to draw cowboy hats: uhmmmm scifi western fma au

[casualavocados]

You've never done that when I got close to you before. Why? None of your business. Tell me, or you can't leave.

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 10

[marclef]

it's October!!! 🎃✨🎃✨🎃✨🎃

for each day this month, i'm doing my own special version of Pizzatober, drawing one random Pizza Tower character (or similar enough) each day! partially just because it's fun, but it gives me a chance to draw some of the characters i never have!

day 1 is this asshole!! who i can assure you definitely does not die a horrible, painful death in my own AU!

he's fine, and very much still alive!!! ignore the hand reaching out back there, that has NOTHING to do with this man's death that DOESN'T happen!!!

[kaurwreck]

pm!dazai didn't abuse akutagawa. he reacted proportionately to the threat akutagawa posed to himself.

when dazai smacks akutagawa around in canon, they're running drills. dazai is not hitting him in misdirected anger or because he is venting his own suffering on him. akutagawa does not instinctually protect himself. in his fits of hyperviolence, he seeks to kill and be killed, and nearly is in beast, and in the course of his initial pursuit of atsushi.

he does not have the reflex or will or instinct to defend himself, and he is slow because he is having to consciously process the effort. his automatic reflex is to attack, but that will not stop him from being shot or overwhelmed or blindsided.

what they are doing in those scenes, what dazai is uniquely able to practice with him since rashomon can't pierce him, is not unlike cognitive behavioral therapy interventions. akutagawa is wired such that when he is triggered, he develops tunnel vision, pressing forward relentlessly without registering danger or responding to negative stimuli. this is a pattern developed from when he deemed dearh inevitable, and one which is liable to get him killed regardless of whether he has a reason to live.

he needs to consciously retrain his instinctual response, and he has to consciously and consistently reinforce it against his existing, much quicker instinct. he has to do it before he has the conviction or will to do it. and he has to do it over and over again, even when it isn't immediately life or death, because the instinct is self reinforcing, and the pattern he is trying to supplant it with is not yet.

skills are part of their users' framework for responding to their environment. jun'ichiro is anxious, but he can hide within light snow. kunikida has his notebook, but it has rigid limitations that he adapts to, similarly to how he works within the limitations of reality to keep from becoming consumed by his ideals.

akutagawa's skill, meanwhile, is wildly fucking disproportionate to akutagawa's constitution which is a problem when akutagawa wont react defensively. akutagawa is canonically frail, chronically ill, thin, and short (he's 5'8", but asagiri insists he's itty bitty every time he describes him in prose). rashomon, meanwhile, is monstrously powerful and hungry. it lends a false sense of untouchable violence when akutagawa himself is weak, and also is just really difficult to focus and control such that using it brings akutagawa into coughing fits. rashomon is also terrifying even in visage; it invites others to react with violence proportionate to their terror against the spectre of rashomon — but akutagawa is small, sick, and human; what is proportionate to rashomon is IMMENSE overkill if aimed at akutagawa. which is especially egregious because akutagawa will let them.

in other words, when dazai meets akutagawa, rashomon is as dangerous to its user as to anyone else. skills should not get their users killed. dazai is right. it's a shit skill.

akutagawa is vulnerable and self-destructive, and he and dazai are working to rewire his instinctual evaluation of his stakes. even when dazai punches akutagawa after akutagawa kills the mimic soldier, it's not a random act of violence or unregulated anger. the mimic soldier was not going to lead them to gide, there was no reality where they restrained him before he bit his cyanide, and he'd attacked dazai. but instead of reacting defensively at the opportunity, akutagawa fell to the former instinct, leaving himself wide open.

dazai reacts how he does because:

they are supplanting an ingrained instinct that is self reinforcing, the correction needs to be consistent to change the pattern and the former instinct needs to be discouraged with the same severity as the threat it poses;

by punching akutagawa first, dazai gave him notice and time to consciously muster the defense reaction theyre working on;

akutagawa needs to build an association between the defensive reaction and the triggering stimulus for this to work;

the context in which this happens is the exact sort of threat that rashomon is then ill equipped to handle— gide can see into the future, like oda, and mimic are military trained gunmen.

when dazai tells akutagawa that he couldn't ever defeat oda, he's not taunting him, he's right. akutagawa is relying on swift killing blows, but against someone who can see into the future, akutagawa is as vulnerable as a baby. and then, shortly after, that's what happens: gide wrecks his shit and is about to murder him dead when oda swoops in to grab dazai's dumb horrible baby kouhai who's trying to kill himself with the ambitious gusto of a horse.

as long as akutagawa fails to seek self-preservation, he is remarkably vulnerable. he's weak, and he's going to get himself killed. dazai doesn't coddle him about it for the same reason fukuzawa slaps ranpo for scampering into a police car with a murderer. you dont get praise for self endangerment.

dazai is not going to affirm a version of akutagawa that is trying to kill the boy dazai promised to save.

***

(also, this explains why akutagawa hates taking baths and being without his coat. dazai tried to instill in akutagawa the vigilance to register danger. in his absence, akutagawa strove to be worthy of demanding his approval by diligently practicing. but he's dazai's dumb baby kouhai who. takes things too far lmao.)

[mewkwota]

An older doodle of this dad and his baby boy again. Yuichiro would fall asleep in front of his computer again, but can you blame him for it?

[alivehouse]

you arent too stupid to get back into reading. i dont know i feel like i see this sort of weird self depreciating sentiment a lot thats like 'oh social media ruined my attention span too badly for me to read books anymore' or 'i cant read anything other than fanfiction' and i promise thats not true. yes it can be hard to get back into it if you havent read anything in a while but it not impossible and you *can* work your way back up to it if its something you want to do. just pick up something pick up anything and chip away at it. if you cant finish it its fine to put it down and pick up something else. but just try at least give it an honest effort. like not to sound an ad for a public library but its not impossible for you to start reading

edit: t.erfs are not welcome on my blog. try reading something other than uselessly reactionary 2nd wave theory from the 70s?

[statementlou]

Tbh i am not surprised that a person who openly talked about having drinking problems since 1d days, because of how crazy 1d worked has been agressive. What surprises me is people being surprised (they never seriously saw drunk person?). But i am also confused about this whole book. Apparently Maya said that that book is not fully bout Liam but compilation about her exes and some of the worst parts are not about him. But recently she said that the book is “ofc about him” so what is true then? Or did she meant it that ofc some parts are about him or that whole book is about him?

Sorry, just confused

I also am not surprised- we've learned so much more about the real stories of things and about the guys' actual lives over the last years, and the story that has unfolded around Liam has been totally consistent throughout if you've been following it, and so the information Maya is telling us is shocking and upsetting but not difficult to believe. I got an anon yesterday saying they were worried about getting similar revelations about the other boys, like "if Liam could be doing this we just don't know, any of them could", and while in a way that's always true I guess, anyone could be doing anything in private like... that doesn't really concern me. Because none of these Liam revelations are coming out of nowhere, there have been many MANY steps along the way leading us here if you've been watching, and he has talked openly about both his mental health struggles and his addiction issues. So to answer that anon... to find out something similar about Louis would in contrast contradict everything we know about him and no I'm not worried about it. Is he probably very irritating, absolutely, but an abuser or a loose cannon, well that news would shock me. But anyway as for the book I don't find it strange that she was nervous when it came out and treading lightly and later decided, fuck it. In the absolutely on point tiktok she dropped today (YES👏GIRL👏FUCKING TELL THEM👏) she even mentions attempts to keep her from publishing the book, presumably by Liam's team, that I am riveted by and cannot WAIT to hear more details about actually- like I said I don't find it at all strange that she was nervous and downplayed it a bit then. But if she says now that it's just about Liam, well, I would say it's been clear from the beginning that the book is their story. Maya herself brought up the parallel of songs being written about stuff and I think it's the same thing; it's true (she was in an abusive relationship that involved certain kinds of events) but maybe not 100% literal (I'm sure details were changed to make the story work, it's not like a word for word timeline of their interactions or whatever).

[danwhobrowses]

I have to say when it comes for episode 107 I'm on the camp of this feeling wrong. Like, two gods' plan is to just let Ludinus just have his way? And just assume that the vessel won't get them? The Wildmother showed Orym the time Predathos came to town, it took out two of them in a blink and the Titans did the heavy lifting, it chased them from Tengar to Exandria without concept of navigation so it's foolish to think they won't do the same this time around. Running forever isn't a life even the infinite should be pursuing. Corellon is cheeky and flirty but it's a mask for being deflective and honestly a little cowardly. What you're asking and trying to persuade with gifts requires the Hells to entertain sacrificing one of their own, which they shouldn't (and I'm hopeful they won't, because that'd be to me at least be a character betrayal since they have always prioritized each other over the gods) consider doing even for any kind of promise, and treating it like it's a necessity, as if leaving like you've decided you want to do now is your 'sacrifice'? Even if being a vessel and still being of sound mind was a viable option with proof that it can work that way, there are too many unknown factors that it seems not even the gods have answers for, so it should all trail back to the fact that this is STILL not a risk worth taking and Ludinus should not be having his way.

I guess part of this feeling comes down to the fact that this was not what I was hoping to get out of the episode; I'm always open to being surprised (because I often am) but it has to be in a good way, this was not a good way. But we'll have to see where it goes, this is a proposal of two gods against a majority yet to say their piece and could still be heard out, I still trust Matt's vision and Abu DM's like smooth butter, but the god debate admittedly continues to wear on me - we were already in a state where we were open to talk but now they're conspiring against one another too? Can we not just focus on Plan A: Unite to Stop Ludinus from releasing Predathos? Evoroa literally said Ludinus' plan is to divide why are we sowing more division? Couldn't just kill Zathuda and take his dragon for Fearne...this should've been Bell's Hells' big win to make up for Otohan but now for me at least it feels a little sour.

[fandommothlady]

I finally watched the Togachako episode and just-

"I want to touch you. I want to touch the sadness inside of you."

That fucking line. That whole episode. I sobbed. "The cutest in the whole world." And the floating. Togachako floating together and holding each other in the air. The FOREHEAD TOUCH? Ochako's quirk awakening! The voice acting! Jesus Christ. I don't know what the general consensus is, but I loved this episode.

[nono-uwu]

Shinoa doodle from class and a forever wip :3