#absolutely worth making that purchase in a paycheck or two

[grassbreads]

vibrating bc I just realized it'd be very feasible to see one of my favorite bands live for the first time later this year

[brokestminimalist]

Broke Laundry: updated 2021

For the time being, let's skip talking about how almost all of us have too many clothes.   The clothes that you have get dirty, and must be washed.  I am going to assume you have access to a modern washing machine, either at your house or a laundromat. We'll call step one sorting:

Sorting: Ain’t nobody got time for this.  This is an extra chore that is 99% not necessary.  Unless you have specialty fabrics or are particular about how white your whites are, it’s just added  stress and a waste of time.  I don't actually own any white clothes anymore, but if I did I'd run a load of whites with a cup of bleach once a month. I do not own things that can’t survive the washing machine, either.  No delicates, no dry cleaning.  I wash towels with clothes, and sheets together with bedspreads. Cleaning rags and towels have their own basket and get washed when it gets full.

Laundry Detergent: Avoid the very cheapest for the sake of your darks, but there is no need to spring for the most expensive thing on the shelf.  In fact, I make laundry detergent from one part washing soda, one part Borax, and one part soap. A double batch is enough detergent to last three months for a single person. Good recipes can be had all over the internet, so go forth and find yourself one.  If you’re washing in cold water and your tap water is very cold, such as in the winter, you may find it necessary to stir your homemade detergent into a cup of hot water before putting it into the machine. Out of detergent?  A spoonful of dish soap will do in a pinch.  Regardless of whether you’re using store bought or homemade, don’t use too much detergent; it’s bad for the machine, the environment, and your clothes.  We do not want to buy new clothes until we absolutely have to, right?  Right.

Fabric Softener: I recently saw a headline about how Millennials are killing the fabric softener industry.  The truth is, they are prioritizing groceries and lights over luxuries like Downy.  If you must have it and can afford it, go ahead.  Measure carefully but don’t dilute unless the package says so.  Fabric softener sheets are a good alternative, if you are using a dryer.  Here at Brokest Minimalist, we use a Downy ball with white vinegar in it.  The vinegar cuts soap residue, softens most fabrics, and is much cheaper.  Plus it’s versatile enough to be used for cleaning as well.  An added bonus is that it doesn’t reduce the absorbency of your towels like regular fabric softener does.

Water:  Set your washer on Tap Cold. Yes, really.  Unless your clothes are very greasy, almost anything can be washed in cold water and will get just as clean.  It isn’t so much the temperature of the water or even the detergent that does the washing, as much as it is the action of the clothes rubbing against each other inside the machine.  Anything that’s machine washable can be washed in cold water, period.

Settings: On our machine at home, clothes go on “casual” and sheets/bedspreads on “heavy duty”. Don’t stress too much about this.  Choose a water level that is appropriate to how full the machine is, add your stuff, and go ahead.

Drying:  Here at Brokest Minimalist, we don’t dry anything in the dryer.  Why?  Because air dries stuff for free, that’s why.  Clothes dryers are one of the most frivolous uses of electricity in the modern world.  They are also one of the number one causes of fire in the United States, after candles and cooking fires.  Unless you are in a huge hurry, hang your clothes to dry. Outdoors if possible, as sun dried clothing smells much better than any fabric softener does.  You don’t even have to spend all afternoon pinning stuff to a clothesline like your great-grandma did, either! Our system is beautiful in its simplicity.  We take our clothes out of the washing machine, hang them on clothes hangers, and then hang the hangers on the clothesline.  If you have a smooth line, tie knots in it or use clothespins to keep stuff from sliding back and forth in the breeze.  If you don’t have a line, put one up or buy a portable or retractable one. In summer your clothes will be dry within an hour in direct sunlight, which is a comparable time to many dryers.  If it’s raining, you can hang them indoors over curtain rods, from your mantel, or on your shower curtain rod.  Even if it’s freezing outside, in direct sunlight your clothes will dry within a few hours. For free.  No kidding.  And UV light is a great sanitizer if you’re worried about germs! Here we hang our and towels and unmentionables on racks purchased from Amazon, such as this and this.  Another tidbit we have figured out, is that there is no need to wait until daylight to hang your clothes. In the old days it was nigh unheard of, but there’s no harm.  The morning dew won’t make your wet clothes wetter.   Do you work nights?  Do a load of laundry after you get home from work and hang it out to dry, even if it’s midnight.  It will be dry by lunchtime tomorrow.   This saves wear and tear on your clothes, it saves electricity, it won’t create extra static like the dryer, and hanging stuff is kind of a nice, meditative way to spend a few minutes. Take some deep breaths of fresh air, reflect on your day, let go of some anxiety.

Does all of this sound too complicated? Written down it’s a lot, but let us take you through a load of laundry we just did.  For the record, it is currently one o'clock in the morning.  It’s 31 degrees outside.

1) Put clothes in washer.  Not sorted, just all the clothes in the hamper or off your floordrobe, dumped into the washing machine.

2) It’s cold out, so put a tablespoon of detergent into a cup of hot water and stir.  Pour in washer. Put white vinegar in Downy ball, toss in washer.

3) Push start button and go do something else.  Read, take a nap, cook, clean bathroom. Write a long-winded Tumblr post.  Whatever.

4) When load is done, hang everything on hangers/racks still wet.  This is the longest part, and it takes 5-7 minutes, max. You can do it while watching tv or listening to music.

5) Carry your hung up clothes outdoors to the clothesline and hang them up, or to whatever indoor location you have deemed fit if it is raining.

These will be dry in a few hours except for very heavy things like thing hoodies or jeans, those may take longer.  Yes, even if it’s cool outside.  As long as there is direct sunlight, they will dry.  When you’re ready, bring them in. All the clothes are already on hangers, so just stick them in your closet.

Once upon a time we had a lot of drama about laundry.  We had fights over whose turn it was, how much Tide to put in, and who was going to clean the lint trap.  When the dryer broke, I absolutely agonized over the three hundred dollars it would take to buy a new one.  That three hundred dollars meant going without cable for two months, it meant scrimping for groceries and paying a late fee on the phone bill.  It was more than an entire paycheck, just to dry clothes!

Today that same dryer is sitting in our laundry room in disuse.  We have it, for emergencies.  A drink spilled on a work shirt, perhaps, that needs to be worn in 30 minutes.  It’s good for fluffing up pillows, on the no-heat setting. It wasn’t worth the stress or the tears or the three hundred dollars we put into it all those years ago.  It’s basically a glorified shelf for our detergent now:

So today, I challenge you, broke person.  Don’t wear those grungy jeans for one more day.   Do a load of laundry, as frugally as you can.  Measure your detergent carefully, hang your clothes to dry.  Your clothes will last longer, your utility bill will be lower, and you will have a few minutes of peace and quiet outside.  It’s less wear and tear, less electricity, and less stress, and that’s a minimalist win.

If you do choose to dry your clothes in a dryer, beware of over-drying as that can cause static and extra wear and tear on your clothes.  Clean out your lint trap, it will make your clothes dry faster and reduce the risk of fire.  If you are too broke to have dryer sheets, wool dryer balls are pretty cheap and effective for fabric softening and reducing static.  We have also heard that you could use tennis balls or a couple balls of wadded up aluminum foil for this purpose.

Happy washing!

Some links: homemade detergent at TSD, and Mr. Electricity’s opinion on dryers.

[birdsaesthetic]

Jane’s sketchbook

Summary: Jane freaking out over losing her sketchbook, my participation for 12 Days of Blindspot.

A/N: I wrote this a while ago then ignored it... But then I saw these prompts from @holidayblindspot which reminded me of already having written something that goes with one of the prompts, so I thought this was a sign for me to edit it real quick and post it. I’m so exited to be sharing this here because it’s beautiful and really worth sharing. ENJOY! 

Day 5: A ruined day. 

“Kurt,” Jane called from across the front room, to which Kurt immediately looked up and responded, “Yeah?”

“Have you seen my sketchbook?”

Looking around him quickly yet carefully, Kurt murmured, “No,” he then looked up at her, who seemed stunned at having heard the No from him. 

The two were in the middle of unpacking the boxes they brought up with them from their old apartment in New York all the way to the new one in Colorado, which, after managing to unpack the majority of the boxes and placing their contents ever since morning, it finally started to feel like home. Like their old apartment in New York. 

Doing so had been so fun at first, each one was having a glass of red wine in hand and there was loud music playing in the background and, since there weren’t curtains covering the windows just yet, there was the beautiful addition of bright and warm sunlight streaming inside the spacious front room that felt so rewarding and motivating. But when the sun went down, taking with it its light and warmth, the work got monotonous, and so by now they were both exhausted and hungry. 

Jane was also confused now. 

She looked down at all the boxes scattered on the floor around her, which were almost empty by now, and she felt the world spinning around her in confusion and fear for having been unable to locate her sketchbook among all these boxes. 

“Why? Couldn’t you find it?” Asked Kurt, seemingly confused too as he approached her.

Creases were starting to form on her forehead as she shook her head in confusion. “No,” she said quietly, then jumped from one box to another, double checking each one, randomly, quickly and with both hands, as if she were digging into a hole. And then, after all of that, which was in a span of thirty seconds, she shook her head yet again, though this time in disappointment, and looked up at Kurt in a plea for understanding. “I don’t know why I can’t find it because it should be here. I put it here. I put all my small things here, and I didn’t have a lot of things!” 

Kurt was standing right before her by now, hunching over to check inside the boxes again. It was helpless, he knew; she’d already rummaged in all those boxes with eager hands and big eyes and yet found nothing... But if there was a one-in-a-million chance, he would absolutely take it when it came to her.

When his eyes, wide open, met hers, he suggested, “Okay, maybe you’ve just got confused. Try to remember where you’ve last seen it.” She swallowed hard and tried to do as told, mouth slightly open. She settled her gaze at a random spot on his chest as both of them stood close against one another, then she pushed her mind so hard to visualize where she’d last seen the sketchbook and what she was doing, so she could retrace her steps in the process and hopefully remember something. 

But it was after a long, unbearable moment when Jane pushed her lower lip out in a sad pout and gave a shake of her head. Kurt hugged her loosely then. “It’s okay, we still have another set of boxes to be delivered here tomorrow morning.” He reminded her. “Hopefully we find it within one of the boxes then.”

Jane pulled back to look up at him, the sad look remained on her face. “But those coming boxes only have the kitchen supplies!” 

“You don’t know, maybe you forgot it there!”

“It’s not possible... I put it here,”

“Everything is possible.” He encouraged, then added, “Aren’t you hungry by now, though? Because I’m so hungry! How about pb&j for dinner, huh?”

“I don’t mind.” Jane muttered with a shrug. 

Together they decided to call it a day after dinner and climbed into bed, crawling close to each other as they lied down against the mattress. Their foreheads were touching as they shared a loving gaze, then Kurt whispered, “Can I get my good night kiss, or you don’t feel like—”

“No—yes, of course you’re getting your good night kiss!” She rushed to say, reassuring him just before she smiled the tiniest of smiles and kissed him hard on the lips, to which he kissed her back even harder. After that, she placed her hand over his arm that had been wrapped around her waist beneath the blanket, lifted it, rolled over to her side, and again let his arm be wrapped around her waist. This was how she’d always loved to sleep with him: she’d turn her back to him and he’d take the cue and cuddle her from behind with a light arm across her waist beneath the blanket and a soft kiss right behind her ear that would make her hum and snuggle deeper into his embrace until they’d look like two spoons in a drawer, very tight against each other. 

As she closed her eyes and tried to sleep, hoping to raise up to a promising morning that would bring with it her sketchbook, she could swear she saw the vague afterimage of the sketchbook in her eyes, but then she opened her eyes and only saw the darkness of the bedroom...

She didn’t own a lot of things, really. The only things she owned and loved so much were that sketchbook and her marriage ring. The engagement ring was as if glued to her finger ever since she had worn it years ago. As for the sketchbook, she had always made sure to keep it within her hand reach, though this time around it oddly disappeared! 

It was the very first purchase she made solely for herself when she started to receive a regular paycheck after working formally for the FBI. At first she didn’t know what to do with such a decent amount of money since she’d already been provided with a place to stay in, clothes, a cell phone and food—usually her detail had dropped food at her place without even asking for anything back, which made her really embarrassed.

It could be the crack of dawn or early morning when Jane fluttered her eyes open the next day, and after a long moment of gazing at Kurt’s sleeping face, she gave him a soft kiss on the temple then eased herself out of bed. With her eyes half closed, she managed to step the few paces toward the bathroom, rinsed her face in the sink, brushed her teeth and finally put on a comfy sweater she gripped from the hanger. 

Yawing, she stumbled across the front room that was messy with boxes they hadn’t even bothered to flatten or push away last night, until she made it into the kitchen. There she stood in the center, stretched her neck, and yawned some more with her eyes pressed close. When she reopened her eyes, the sight of a can of cocoa shoved in the far corner suddenly inspired her. And so, as if drawn by a magnet, she stepped toward the refrigerator, opened it and examined its contents, though there wasn’t much to see. There was random stuff and among them was a brand-new bottle of milk, which she only needed to fix a cup of hot cocoa for now.

She took it out then brought up a pan. There she poured some of the milk, dissolved cocoa powder, and finally put it on the stove to simmer. Standing with folded arms in the dim lighting in the kitchen, she stared down at the pan as the milk boiled within it, and after a full minute of waiting, small curls of steam rose into the air and the scents of cocoa powered revolved all around her, to which she felt torn between wanting to savour it immediately or just stand there and inhale it. But she awaited a bit more. Next she poured everything into an oversized cup with a faint smile. 

Warming her fingers with the cup, she made her way to the dining table, then settled on a seat there as she began taking small sips of the hot cocoa before it had even cooled off, to which it took her by surprise at first at how hot it was, scalding even. 

During such times, when she woke earlier than she would and was by herself, she would bring up her sketchbook and sketch on it whatever she was feeling at the given moment. It was the perfect timing and place to do so; her thoughts would emerge so originally in the early mornings, they wouldn’t be conflicted nor affected by the day’s activities just yet. 

She hadn’t known how good she was at sketching until one day she held a pencil, a very sharp one, and began sketching without any struggle. Back then, when solving her tattoos had been what her life was basically all about, she used to sketch them individually in hopes of finding any connection that might help figure out what they actually meant. But then as the days passed, she thought she wanted to do something else, something that was in a good way stirring her heart down to the depths, just like the way her spoon was stirring her cup of cocoa now.

And so, with her pencil sharp, she began with a light outline of a face, next she worked on the eyes, which she made them like the shape of almond. She let out a sigh then,  knowing that the eyes must be the toughest part, before continuing with them. She drew the first pupil, purposely making it darker than the eye, then did the same for the other eye. She added a little shading underneath the eyes and from there she started with the nose, extending two lines where the inner corners of each eye were located. 

The rest went easy: she did the eyebrows, the lips, the beard and then the hair, creating a solid and visible looking hairline from the sides of the head. 

It was Kurt’s face that she sketched and it looked impressive at the end. She made him look as if staring at her, and made his expression soft with a faint smile—the way he’d usually look at her. 

It was quiet around her now, not a single sound, until she heard running waters within the bathroom and, a minute later, she saw Kurt emerge and approach her. “Mornin,” he smiled, his face awash with decent sleep, his hair... so fluffy she couldn’t help but think it needed a trim, so badly.

“Mornin,” she replied. 

He bent down and stole his morning kiss from her then hummed. “You taste like a really good hot cocoa!”

“Because I was drinking one.” She told him, showing him her cup, almost empty by now. 

“Can I have the same?”

“Sure.” She got up and started doing the same thing she did earlier, taking the same measurements. 

“Did you sleep well, Jane?” He asked as she waited by the stove for the cocoa to simmer. “Yeah.”

“You don’t look like you slept well.” He claimed. 

“I slept well, Kurt. Now tell me, when is our ship  gonna get here?”

“Maybe after a bit.”

She served him his cocoa in a brand-new cup, and he took it with all smiles after thanking her. 

When their another set of boxes arrived, after some time, Jane tucked all of her hair back behind her ears and, kneeling down, she eagerly began looking thoroughly in each box along with Kurt. As she’d said before, the boxes contain kitchen supplies: dishes, cups, mixing bowls, knives and spoons, a cutting board, blender, vegetable peeler and a number of whisks. 

But even after all this effort, they couldn’t find it, Jane’s sketchbook, among all of those things. 

She stood up on her feet then, and took a deep breath, tired and disappointed, her palm wiping away the sweat on her forehead and her eyes, helplessly, maintained searching in the mess of boxes on the floor. 

“It’s alright, I’ll get you a new one, I promise.” Kurt tried to soothe her, to which she looked up at him and, shaking her head, she complained, “It’s not about getting a new one, Kurt. I need my old one back. It carries lots of memories and...” she trailed off with her head falling down, but after a moment of silence Kurt approached forward until he closed the gap between them and cupped her face in his hands, lifting it to his level. “We will be making new memories here. Beautiful ones.”

“I know, but...there’s just one drawing of you within the sketchbook that I just love so much and I want it back.”

“You have lots of pencils and papers here. You also have me here. I will sit still the whole day so that you can draw me, I really wouldn’t mind, you know me.” He suggested, to which she smiled the way one corner of her mouth tilted up whenever she felt affection for him, then chuckled. “You don’t have to. I can draw you easily without having to look at you.”

He grinned. “Right, because you’re the most talented person I’ve ever met.”

“It’s not wholly because I’m that talented though. I wouldn’t be able to do that with anyone else except for you, because I always have you in my head—this is how and why I drew you in the first place. I know your face very well—even more than my own, I would say—and I know how you would look from every angle.”

He pushed his lower lip out in an impressive pout, feeling awash with affection for her. “You know lots of things about me! Do you also wanna know what I know about you?” He asked, having already slipped both hands from her face down her neck, shoulders, and finally her waist. And before she could say anything in response, he was tickling her there. “I know how to make you laugh, and laugh, and laugh.”

She was laughing then, pleading him to stop it, squirming her body out of his arms, and calling his name aloud and repeatedly, but that was only for him to reward her with more stroking against her waist, the area where he knew was very sensitive for her. She tried to fight his firm grip around her, tried to push him away, tried to run away, but seconds later she was, almost instinctively, clutching into him hard, as if holding for her life, and kept laughing nonstop, like she never had in her whole life, head dropped back exposing her neck for him to bury his face there, mouth open to the fullest, and eyes squeezed. Her laughters rolled about the front room in the early morning, like a child's spinning top, vibrant and heart-warming as it moved around them in its chaotic way. It came in fits and bursts—loud to soft to nothing when she was gasping for breaths in-between, then back to loud again and so on.

Just like this, her previous, sad face was replaced with a happy and laughing one.

He really knew how to butter her up. Always had.

A/N: I don’t really support the idea of Jeller moving out of New York after canon. I love them to be there and I think it suits them perfectly to be New Yorkers. But I had to fake it only for this fic’s plot. So they’re still in New York in my head now, enjoying themselves...

[plush-anon]

You worked at joanns? 😍 dream job

In all fairness, a large part (and I do mean a LARGE part) of why I enjoyed working at Joanns were the managers.

The store manager was a guy named Richard, one of maybe two or three men who worked there total, and this man was practically a saint as far as retail goes.

This was a man who would, with no hesitation, get on the floor to help customers, or hop on the registers to check customers' purchases out, or pop on to the cutting counter to cut fabric. He remembered the names of regulars, would chat and smile while getting shit done, and was the type of guy to speak slowly and softly when we had shitstains explode at us measly peons for not giving them the full cost of an item back in a return (ex $200) when they used a coupon to purchase an item to begin with and only paid a portion of the cost (ex. $150). No joke, this actually happened to me on Black Friday with a man who stood at about 6 foot with a crewcut and a snarl (the military Karen, if you would)

Richard, of course, stood at about 6 foot 5 inches, and reminded me of a ginger grizzly bear in some ways. Very few customers continued to be assholes when they asked to speak to the manager and Richard came over, smiling wide. He encouraged us to chat with the customers while we worked the cutting counter - it was a good way to learn about what they were making, encouraged general conversation and lent itself to a better environment for everyone, worker and customer alike, so we weren't just awkwardly standing in silence the whole time.

The assistant store manager (aka his second in command - we had two other assistant managers, but she wielded more power than both of them) was Farrah, and she was basically Cool Wine Aunt, but with weed. She was open about smoking it (but not in a pressure-the-underlings kind of way, but more of a 'yeah, it calms me down' kind of way) but never on the clock, and was just really chill in general. She was also a 'jump on the registers' type of manager, and on occasion would take the closing staff out to get a drink from the texmex place next to us in the shopping center, and cover one for each of us - particularly during the Holiday Clusterfuck of October, November, and December (their Frozen Kahlua Mudlslide was my alcoholic drink of choice - they also had these spicy chicken strips that were amazing with it, but I digress).

Both of them were amazing people who would support and back us up without hesitation (if they weren't dealing with corporate or stock trucks coming in), and both routinely worked 15 to 20 hours UNPAID overtime during the Holiday Clusterfuck so that we the underlings could get more hours without Corporate jumping up our ass about going over budget.

They were also refreshingly upfront in our monthly meetings about profits and meeting them, as well as why company policy was the way it was, and how to work within the boundaries so we got more hours. One of my favorite moments was when they said the fabric sales essentially covered their own cost (production and delivery); the rest of the cheap crap in the store was what covered our paycheck and electricity, so hawk it as much as you can if you want extra in the bank (paraphrasing here, but that's not that far off what they actually said tbh).

With some Karen-y exceptions, the customers were honestly pretty chill. There were two women from a nearby church who bought well over 200 yards of cut fleece to make no-sew fleece blankets for children and the poor in December (it took forever to do, but they were so cheerful about it and told some funny anecdotes in between, kept the counter clear as soon as they were cut, etc. Took them three carts to haul everything to the register XD).

There was the slew of quilters making everything from baby blankets to anniversary gifts to quilts for their grandkids attending the local university that they could wear to football games in the colder weather, while still showing team pride. They always bought quarters and eighths and the end of the bolt for half price, digging thru our remnants bin for something they might have missed they could get for half price. They always talked about what they were working on, and spoke in great detail on their kids or cousins or niblings or grandkids. I saw so many pictures on phones, in wallets, and they loved them to absolute pieces.

There were cosplayers making their first costume to comicon, halloween goers trying their hand at making their own outfits, and a few furries making custom suits for order or just updating their own personal outfit. There were the usual school and church Christmas plays that needed costumes, and folks making custom table runners and place settings for family holiday meals.

One notable young man bought out 30+ yards of our 65" inch wide bolt felt for JEWELRY projects he was making as a part of his business and as a part of his art program (you can major in art with a concentration in jewelry making, and he was using it for that). He didn't leave a card, but the pictures he showed us were STUNNING.

We had a few elderly mothers come in with their daughters, to pick out fabrics so they could make their own wedding dresses, or quinceanera outfits, or veils; they showed us the patterns they had, or the pictures they were basing the designs off of, and all of them were STUNNING. (One came back in with the finished dress in the bag, this intricately beaded poofy dress that had to have taken days, hot pink and shiny).

We had local restaurant owners pop in for re-upholstery projects and curtains and vinyl; same with teachers and deck dads and furniture restoration workers that would gush about the design, what they had planned. Some would bicker with their spouses on the pattern, but it felt good-natured on the whole.

We had some elderly men come in to peer over our sewing machines - "How much it run for? My wife's birthday is coming up and her old machine's about done, and I want to surprise her. She had a Singer, but she hates the electronic screens on some of these newer ones, they hurt her eyes." - and moms coming in to sew some custom bed sheets for their kids - "My son really likes the new My Little Pony show, but he's a little shy about it. Do you think the blue's okay? Only he like yellow more, but they don't have any back there and he doesn't MIND blue really but - Actually scratch that, how wide is the fabric? My pattern says it needs to be at LEAST 22 inches wide, does it say on the box?" - and people coming up with some WILD craft ideas that were always a delight to hear them gush about - "So this MAY seem crazy, but I can turn these plastic pumpkin trick-or-treat pails into SNOWMEN heads with felt like this. We fill them with treats for the kids since we don't have a fireplace and they like it fine, but someone said I should sell these on Etsy and people really like them! But I've run out of pumpkins, and you have NO idea how happy I am that you guys still have some left."

The group we had to work with was also pretty crafty; a few were chronic call-outs, some a bit lazy, some perpetually done-with-this-nonsense, but we were mostly on the same page on shift, and all of us were crafty as heck. The employee discount was a blessing AND a curse, lemme tell you.

Stock was the best part, for me. Hours before the store opened at 9 AM, we would rip open the boxes and stuff everything onto the shelves, organizing anything the closing shift missed the night before along the way, updating new stickers or shuffling pegs over for new product arrangement, etc. We could listen to music or podcasts as we worked, and I ended up impressing some of them bc of how fast I tore through everything some mornings (the music definitely helped out there).

I was actually about to be promoted to assistant manager after 6 months, but then I got my job with the university, and they had federal health benefits AND dental, so... yeah, no contest there. Richard actually laughed when I told him I'd been hired at the university and was giving my two week notice, since it meant he didn't have to do the slew of paperwork that accompanied new assistant manager hires. He congratulated me on the job, especially the health benefits - he said that was a perk worth leaving any job here for. I nearly cried with relief that he wasn't mad.

He and Farrah chipped in and got me a small music box that plays Man of La Mancha's Dream the Impossible Dream on my last day. It still sits on my desk at work.

It was honestly my favorite retail job out of the bunch I've suffered through. Surprising at first, since I initially received a rejection email bare HOURS after my interview with Farrah, but about a month later (as I trawled endlessly through interview after interview, desperate for anything those first few months ), I got a call back from them asking if I was still interested (which I was, bc hey a job!). They remembered me specifically bc I had missed my bus to the interview, called ahead to let them know I would be late, then walked the whole way there in the rain to get there. (It was only about a mile and a half away, so not a terrible journey, but flooding is an issue in our flat-ass city; I looked like a drenched afghan hound holding a useless umbrella, so enjoy that imagery).

They were particularly impressed by the calling-ahead part.

Unfortunately, both of them ended up moving on to different paths over the year after I left - apparently they had been friends with benefits (? I say hesitantly, since I ran into one of my coworkers at an art show later on and she spilled the beans there - she was a bit flighty in nature though, and got caught up in gossip a LOT, so who knows. Lovely brocade custom projects though), and his ex girlfriend had called corporate on them and got both fired.

I think Farrah came back some time later, but the damage was done after that - the new manager came in and operated SOLELY to corporate policy. A LOT went to pieces in terms of store cleanliness, order, and general camaraderie after that - the new fabric counter folks look and sound dead inside, and barely interact with customers (not even a 'whatcha making' in passing, which is kind of sad - the stories I got helped to pass the time, and kept me from using up all of my Set Conversation Phrases for customers that actually WOULD leave us standing in silence). Corporate also stopped some of the smaller store policies that made our job easier and gave the customers a little something extra (the 'end-of-the-bolt' discount - if, after the customer orders say, 2 yards of fabric on the bolt, and there's say, a half yard "remnant" left on the bolt, we can sell them the remnant for half-price. A LOT of quilters LOVED this, and we did too, since it saved us from filling out the remnant tag and printing a sticker later on).

Just goes to show how important good management is in a business; especially when it can kick a store previously part of the top 50 stores in the NATION (while being a medium store at that - smaller place, NOT Hobby Lobby size like the Large stores) to something much less pleasant. I could be rose-goggling the situation thought - retail is still retail, no matter how nice some aspects are - but it still sticks with me as to how good he experience was even taking into account that it WAS minimum wage retail.

Food for thought, lads, food for thought.

[hermannsthumb]

can I have anything soft and kind where newton accidentally overhears a video calll between hermann and lars where hermann is getting absolutely *demolished* by his father and it's upsetting and uncalled for and he's visibly upset by the end of it so newt decides to bring him tea and make terrible jokes and play classic music and generally acts like a friend (dunno whether hermann knows that newt overheard and how he'd react) x

this also doubles as my entry for my “Hurt/Comfort” square for my @theloccent summer Bingo!!!!!! sorry it’s taken me so long to fill mine, i haven’t had the best summer 😅

------------

Between the two of them, kaiju attacks always seem to hit Hermann harder. Newt’s never happy about them, obviously, he’s not a fucking sadist, but more kaiju mean more kaiju parts, which means Newt has more to work with, and more to pull viable theories from for the sake of the entire planet. Every kaiju attack brings them one step closer to no kaiju attacks. (In theory, anyway. Newt’s kind of hit a rut in his latest stuff.) There’s a bright side of things.

Hermann, though--he’s another story. When a jaeger falls, or fails, even through no fault of his own, it’s one of Hermann’s jaegers falling or failing, and he blames himself for each and every jaeger that does either, to the extent that he’ll lock himself away in his quarters for a goddamn week and agonize over everything. Even when they win he finds a way to fault himself for something--damage that shouldn’t have been sustained, a lag in response time. Fucking paint chipping off.

That’s half of it, anyway. There’s also his dad.

The fight they had this time was especially nuclear: a kaiju came a little too close to the city, and a jaeger was a little too slow in stopping it, and it managed to tear through a decently-sized business complex (which had been evacuated in time) before their jaeger blasted a hole through its gut. Dr. Gottlieb Senior had plenty to say about this the next day. Newt heard plenty of it, too, lurking outside the lab after a well-timed lunch break. Mostly well-timed, anyway. Ideally he wouldn’t have heard any of the fight.

“--Father, will you please--!” Hermann is shouting in German, and the response is prissy, and clipped, and likewise in German, faster than Newt’s Americanized brain can even follow. It must be something nasty, though; Hermann lets loose a colorful string of curses, and there’s a beep as the video call ends abruptly. When Newt peeks around the corner, Hermann’s head is buried in his hands. 

Newt has a feeling he knows what this one was about. It’s the same one Hermann has with his dad after every kaiju attack, after all--the jaeger program is dead, long live the wall, come to the dark side of the force, Hermann, you’ll get a nice paycheck and live comfortably until the kaiju tear apart the world. And Hermann’s response is always the same, because he has at least a shred of goddamn integrity--fuck you, no. Well, maybe not in those exact words. The sentiment is there though.

Tomorrow, Dr. Gottlieb Senior is going to go on international television and milk that leveled skyscraper for all its worth, and decry his son’s hopeless idealism and naivety, and demand the U.N. funnel even more money away from the jaegers and into his own personal pet project, and Hermann is going to shout and snap at Newt for every little thing and refuse to put anything in his system that isn’t nicotine or black coffee and work himself to a migraine and an exhausted collapse at his desk. Today, Newt is going to be a friend.

He ducks back into the lab twenty minutes later with a cup of tea--the good shit, from the private stash he keeps in his quarters for days like today--and a whole wheat sandwich wrapped in plastic. Hermann hasn’t moved from his desk. He doesn’t so much as twitch as Newt sets both tea and sandwich down next to his elbow.

“What’s this?” he mumbles.

“I wasn’t really hungry for lunch after all,” Newt lies. “I thought you might want it.”

Hermann picks up the sandwich and narrows his eyes at it. He narrows his eyes at Newt next. “You weren’t hungry?” he says.

Newt shrugs. “Yeah, so what? If you don’t want it--”

He reaches out to take it back, but Hermann yanks it out of reach. “No,” he says quickly. “I will take it. And the tea, too.” He coughs. “...Thank you, Newton.”

“No sweat,” Newt says.

On any normal day, Newt would shuffle his iTunes library at full volume as he does his dissections, and Hermann would whine and bitch and throw chalk at Newt until Newt turns it down to a respectable half volume. Today, he accesses a very particular playlist--Hermann Jams #3--and sets his laptop volume low enough to just be background noise. He’s not sure if Hermann actually even likes classical music, but it seems to calm him down, and Newt can at least appreciate a good violin every now and then.

Hermann’s shoulders loosen up after two songs; he takes a bite of the sandwich. Good. “Need anything else?” Newt says, aiming for casual, but wildly aware of how forced it sounds. “A different sandwich? Fruit? I have a couple apples in my--”

“It’s fine, Newton,” Hermann says.

“Just checking,” Newt says.

He waits until Hermann finishes the sandwich and starts on the tea to speak again. “I finished that book I was reading, by the way,” Newt says, slicing his scalpel through a layer of kaiju hide. “The sexy one about vampires. You were right, it sucked.”

It rocked, actually, but one of Hermann’s favorite things to do is lord his superior taste in everything over Newt, so Newt is going to hand him the opportunity on a silver platter. He’s just that great of a friend. Hermann snorts derisively. “Aren’t I always?” he says. “And to think you wanted me to purchase a copy, too.”

“Hey, man, nothing wrong with book club.”

“There is when the books in question are exceedingly--well--” Hermann makes a face. “Questionable. If I picked--oh, this is very good, by the way, Newton,” he adds, lifting his tea cup. “Wherever did you find it? I know it didn’t come from the mess.”

The secret tea stash labelled Hermann in Newt’s closet was purchased at a very expensive shop in the city a few months ago. Originally Newt bought it with intentions of giving it to Hermann as a birthday present, but kinda forgot, so now he just breaks it out for these kinds of occasions. “I have connections, Hermann,” Newt says cryptically. He also has a bus pass.

They bicker good-naturedly over the literary value of vampire smut for a little bit, before switching gears to a somewhat more heated debate over what would happen if Newt just stabbed his scalpel into his kaiju sample, and--after doing it, and finding out the answer is nothing--Newt ducks out to get Hermann more from his tea stash. It’s late by that point, nearly time for them to head back to their quarters for the night. Hermann catches the end of Newt’s sleeve after Newt sets his tea down. “I’m not as oblivious as I might have appeared, Newton,” he says. “Thank you for your kindness today. It’s very much appreciated.”

He gives Newt a rare smile, stiff and awkward as hell. Something melts in Newt’s chest. “Uh. Yeah, sure,” he says, heat rising to his cheeks. “You know I’m your...friend.”

“I do,” Hermann says seriously. 

He drops Newt’s sleeve; Newt finds himself inexplicably mourning the loss of the touch, and--as Hermann’s face slips back into neutrality--that little smile. “Your dad is a giant bag of dicks,” Newt blurts out before he can help himself. “He’s not worth it. Seriously.”

The smile returns in a brief flicker. “I'll try to remember that,” Hermann says.

[taeken-my-heart]

Moirai Chapter 15

Summary: On your 18th birthday a name appears on your wrist. The name of your soulmate. It’s a momentous day that everyone looks forward to, but you’ve always brushed aside; refusing to believe in a fickle mistress called destiny. But what happens when on the morning of your 18th birthday you wake to find the name of your mortal enemy? Jeon Jungkook.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Genre: Soulmates au/ Enemies to lovers au. Angst, fluff, bickering, romance, eventual smut.

Word Count: 4580

NOTES: Next chapter is THE chapter...if you catch my drift ;) It will be coming out VERY soon, so keep an eye out for that. This chapter is slightly shorter than others, but next chapter will be longer than normal, so I hope that will make up for it!

**

You weren’t sure you would ever get used to the feeling of Jimin’s absence. It had been just over a month since you’d broken up and it was like a cavern in your chest. You hadn’t had much distraction at first, at least until Lizzy found out.

It had been overwhelming when she found out. She was the type of friend that liked to coddle and you just wanted to forget everything and be alone. Eventually, she found a distraction that worked for you, spending multiple nights a week bringing you dinner and conversation.

Your schedules didn’t always match up but somehow, she always made it work. She’d find you at work and sit with you in the breakroom sharing her hummus and chips. She’d find you outside of the hospital sitting on one of the benches, waiting to be entertained with jokes and lively stories. Or, like tonight, she’d find you at home.

A rare night off for the both of you, Lizzy had come over with takeout and a cheesy romcom from the 90’s you’d already seen one too many times. One more time couldn’t hurt, though.

You’d recently moved to a new apartment and most of your stuff was still in boxes, but you had a beanbag chair and a love seat to enjoy. The sofa had been Jimin’s purchase so you were lacking in a better seating arrangement until you could find time to search for your own couch.

Lizzy stretched lethargically across the arms of the loveseat, takeout pasta dish in her lap as she slurped noisily and you wiggled around in the beanbag chair, trying to find a more comfortable position. “I told you I can take the beanbag!” Lizzy said, turning to look at you and you shook your head, holding your own bowl of pasta to your chest as you readjusted once more.

“No way, you’re my guest, Liz.”

“I’m your best friend; that hardly counts.” She said, standing from the loveseat and hovering in front of you, “get up.”

“Seriously, I got this.” You insisted and Lizzy frowned, hand going to rest on her jutted hip.

“You look like a beached whale right now. Up, up.”

You huffed, putting your food on the floor beside you and rolling onto your knees with a groan. “Wow, things really are not the same when you’re in your 30’s.” You complained, standing and bending over to grab your food. Lizzy settled into the beanbag with a contented sigh and you resigned yourself to the (far more comfortable) loveseat.

“We need a vacation.” Lizzy announced loudly and you looked over at her while reaching over for your glass of wine on the TV dinner table between the two of you. It was rickety, precarious with age; as old as your high school diploma. Back before you’d ever even met Jimin or learned how to be delicate with your things.  A quick trip to the thrift store on your way to your first semester of college had deemed you its new owner. Who knows how many had owned it before?

“What made you think that so suddenly?” You questioned.

“To be fair,” she slurped a noodle loudly and you waited, “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but I’m just now saying it. We’re tired and overworked and I want to sit somewhere on a beach in a bikini that shows off a little bit too much of my cellulite and drink an appletini that makes me feel a little too dizzy and just live my life. You know?”

You smiled, sipping over the rim of your glass and humming. “Maybe your soulmate is on that beach.” You teased and Lizzy’s eyes lit up, leaning forward in the beanbag.

“You’re so right. So where should we go? I’m thinking Mallorca. My sister went there last year and said it was unbelievably gorgeous.”

“Sure, we can go to Mallorca. I can’t do it for a couple months, though. I’ve already taken a few days off for my sister’s wedding so I doubt I could take more time off so soon after.”

Lizzy hummed, taking a sip of her own wine. “That’s right, when’s her wedding again?”

“The 20th of next month.” You sighed, leaning your head back against the headrest of your chair and spacing out on the television.

“You gonna be OK?”

You paused, watching the colors dance across your vision before lifting your head to look at your friend. “What do you mean?”

“You gonna be ok at your sister’s wedding? I know you, Y/N. You act like things are OK when they’re not. Do you want me to go as your plus one?” She’d finished her pasta by now, empty bowl discarded beside her on the floor.

You sighed again, looking back at the television. “What do you want me to say? Jimin absolutely broke me. I’m absolutely not OK, everything hurts and every morning I wake up thinking maybe it’ll be better and it’s just not. I know someday it will be ok, but it was 8 years, you know? Now I get to go sit at my sister’s wedding and watch her marry her soulmate while my own is,” you paused, realizing you had yet to tell your friend about Jungkook. Now was not the time. “Well, anyway. I’m not OK…but I will be.”

“I’m sorry,” Lizzy frowned, twisting her fingers around her glass. “I shouldn’t have asked. For what it’s worth, though, I know you’ll get through it. You’re pretty amazing, you always bounce back and this time will be no different, it just might take a little longer.”

You nodded, heart clenching at the thought of more time. More time to sit and think about Jimin and hurt. Sometimes you wish you could just turn your heart off.

Later, after Lizzy had left home and you’d finished cleaning up your living room, you made your way towards your bedroom, flicking on the lights. There were only a couple boxes left unpacked in here. You’d wanted a sense of normalcy in at least one room so you’d chosen to focus on your bedroom.

Lizzy had come over and helped you hang up the fairy lights across your ceiling. They cast a much softer glow than the actual light in the center of the room and you liked that warm feeling, like a security blanket over your heart.

This apartment was smaller than the last, you couldn’t afford to spend your one paycheck on two extra bedrooms you didn’t need. Instead, you’d stuffed your office supplies inside the smaller second bedroom. Eventually this place would feel like home and it wouldn’t haunt you with memories in every corner. It was blissfully blank.

Ella was coming out for her final dress fitting tomorrow and you’d be joining her for your own. You’d been eating one too many pieces of chocolate recently so you were a little concerned it wouldn’t fit quite right, but maybe if you sucked in enough it would work out.

You sat on the side of your tub, brushing your teeth languidly as you thought. Apartments were eerily quiet when you lived in them alone. Granted, you lived on the top floor all the way at the end so you really only had to worry about one wall, and that neighbor was apparently some kind of producer, so he was never there.

You missed the noise of another person, though. The thought overwhelmed you suddenly, the vast emptiness of it all and your eyes stung as they filled with tears. Crying with toothpaste slathered all over your mouth was not the look you were going for so you quickly rinsed out your mouth before sitting back on the edge of the tub.

You knew you were still young, still had time, but it honestly felt like a ticking time bomb. You weren’t getting any younger, already close to turning 31 and you felt like your dreams of the future you had were slipping from between your fingertips.

Your dreams with Jimin were gone, like ash in the wind. That you would have to let go of…but to be in love, to be a mother…those were difficult pills to swallow. Tonight, like many other nights before, you wondered what would have happened if Jungkook hadn’t turned you down. Would you be in love? Would you be married and have children?

You supposed it was silly to wonder if you’d be in love, you’d never seen the universe pair people up incorrectly, even if it seemed like maybe it had at first. Jimin said he’d had a couple of soulmates in his office before, but you’d never seen it yourself and you just wondered if that was just that those individuals were unwilling to work with anyone.

If you and Jungkook had given each other a chance…well, maybe you could have been magical. It was futile to still think about it, even though he was back in your life. There was no way of really knowing if that was something he even wanted. Sure, he’d seemed apologetic and like he wanted to make amends…but perhaps that was just to satiate his guilt, or maybe he felt sorry about losing your friendship or perhaps you were only a backup plan, in case he couldn’t find anyone else better.

You scoffed, standing from the edge of the tub and rinsing off your toothbrush before flipping off the bathroom lights and heading back into your bedroom. You wiped at your cheeks, willing yourself to stop crying. It didn’t help anything to mope and it certainly didn’t help to imagine things you couldn’t possibly know.

You slipped under the covers, pulling them up to your chin and staring out into the dark across your mattress, feeling far emptier than it had in a long time. It may have been foolish to imagine all those things, but no one ever communicated that to your heart and she loved to mourn what she’d never even had.

 **

It was the perfect day to wear a sundress. You’d shaved your legs, scrubbed your face from any puffiness from crying and were now sat outside a nearby café waiting for Ella and your mom to arrive. Late summer was beautiful and you let the sun warm your legs as you sought shelter under your table’s umbrella, running your fingers across the metal of the chair.

You were tired this morning. Negative thoughts had kept you awake for most of the night, but with a dress appointment and work later tonight, you wouldn’t have much of an opportunity to make up for it.

Across the street you saw your mom’s car pull into a parking spot and you waved as she and your sister both stepped from the car, scanning the sidewalk for you. They smiled, waving back, before making their way to the crosswalk and you waited patiently.

“Sweetheart!” Your mom called and you stood, reaching out to hug her as they got closer.

She held you close, a little too tight and warm for the weather, but you sunk into the embrace. She only lived an hour away, but you hadn’t seen her much recently and with everything going on, you were exhausted and just needed to hug your mom.

“How are you?” She asked, standing back and rubbing her thumb across your cheek. “You look tired.”

You smiled, soft, shaking your head at her. “I’m ok. Didn’t sleep well last night. Morning, Ella!”

Ella squealed, flinging her arms out for a hug and you chuckled as she embraced you. “I’m so excited! It’s almost here!”

“I know,” you agreed, “I can hardly believe it. Feels like just yesterday we were little kids and you were stealing all my clothes.”

Ella chuckled, grabbing your hand and leading you back towards the table. She took her seat across from you with your mother in the middle and set her purse delicately in her lap before replying. “Well, now you’re always dressed in scrubs. I think it’s safe to say my fashion sense is better than yours.”

You smiled, shrugging, “I don’t know, this dress is pretty cute.”

“True.” Ella admitted, “You live too far to steal from now, though.”

“Remind me when you’re coming back home again?” Your mother asked, perusing the menu and you picked up your own to start looking.

“The day before the wedding. It’s pretty hard to get more time off right now.”

“I can’t believe you’re going to miss my bachelorette party.” Ella pouted, sipping at the water the waiter dropped off.

“I know,” you sighed, closing your menu. You’d been to this place a few times and always got the same thing; you weren’t sure why you kept checking the menu as if something would have changed. “I really wanted to go, but they’ll already be down an anesthesiologist that week so they really can’t afford to let me go for too long.”

“Are you ladies ready to order?” Your server asked, pen and paper ready and after you’d ordered and handed over your menu’s, conversation resumed.

“So, what’s dad doing right now? Laying around in his boxers?” You asked and your mother laughed.

“Most likely.”

“Gross.” Ella scoffed and your mother poked her in the side.

“Hey now, I happen to really enjoy that view.”

“Double gross!” Ella complained and you sipped at your lemonade. It was nice being with your family again, even though your father was currently not here. It had been months since you’d seen them all together, months since you’d had enough time saved up to take off and drive home for a few days. You were trying to get as much guided experience as you could while you still had someone supervising your every move. Taking extra time off just wasn’t reasonable right now.

“Is Michael at work today?” You asked, watching as your sister thanked the waiter and sipped at the martini he’d just brandished.

“Yeah, I didn’t want him here anyway. It’s bad luck to see the bride in her dress before the wedding. I don’t need any bad juju on my special day.”

“You don’t really believe in that stuff, do you?” Your mother teased and Ella nodded earnestly.

“Totally! I’ve got my apartment all set up to invite positive feng shui in and I do yoga every morning and night. It’s really brought a lot of clarity to my mind.”

“I should probably do some yoga.” You mused, staring off across the street at nothing in particular. “Could use some relaxation.”

“Maybe a massage would be better,” your mom grinned, “last time I tried yoga, I pulled a hamstring.”

“Well, you obviously weren’t doing it right.” Ella huffed, “It’s meant to center your mind, not hurt you.”

“Tell that to the high lunge.” She giggled. 

**

The dress shop was beautifully air conditioned. You could feel a bead of sweat sink into your bra and you grimaced. Ella looked like she’d walked straight into heaven, the lady at the door greeting the three of you with water bottles and a smile.

You took the proffered bottle from its tray, gulping half of it down before following after the woman in charge of your sisters dress alterations. She rambled on excitedly about the recent finishing touches to your dresses and you nodded as though you were listening, walking into the backroom where small changing rooms were draped in white curtains for privacy.

“Your dress is just over here.” She directed, showing Ella to the large bridal room and Ella followed after with a squeal of delight. Her dress was draped elegantly over the bodice of a mannequin that honestly did the lace no justice and you watched your sister flit like a bird around every side to inspect the work.

“Your beading is so exquisite, Darcy.” She cried warmly and the seamstress hummed happily.

“Let’s try it on, shall we?”

Ella nodded enthusiastically, dropping her (most likely expensive) purse unceremoniously on the floor and beginning to strip from her clothing. Darcy chuckled, closing the draping quickly so your sister could get ready in privacy.

Both your mother and yourself sat on a bench against the wall opposite and chatted softly while you waited; listening to the little gasps and squeaks of your sister as she was fastened into her gown.

“Oh, it’s beautiful!” She called over the top of the curtain and your mother shouted out her enthusiasm to see it.

Darcy pulled back the curtain and your mother gasped, running to meet your sister where she stood on a pedestal looking like a princess. “You look so beautiful!” She said, already teary eyed and you walked to meet them with a smile, rubbing the soft lace of your sister’s dress gently between the tips of your fingers.

“You look like a princess.” You agreed and Ella beamed.

“It’s perfect.” She sighed, twirling the skirt and eyeing herself in the mirror. “I feel like I’m living in a fairytale.”

“Let’s get you ladies in your dresses as well and see if we need to do anymore tune ups.” Darcy said and both you and your mother walked to your own dressing rooms to be helped into your dresses. Your dress was a lavender floor length with off the shoulder sleeves and it made you feel unreasonably beautiful.

“You look gorgeous.” Ella whispered and you turned to find her behind you, surveying the fabric of your dress. “If I didn’t know that Michael was so obsessed with me I’d be concerned.”

You chuckled, shaking your head at her. “Don’t be ridiculous. No one will even know I’m in the room if you’re there. You look gorgeous; Michael is gonna die.”

“Do you think it fits me well?” She murmured and you smiled, nodding.

“Like a glove.”

“Look at my girls.” Your mother crowed, walking towards you in a dress like your own. “You both look so beautiful.”

“We get it from our mom.” Ella teased and your mother laughed.

“And don’t you forget it!”

“How do your dresses feel?” Darcy asked, approaching your circle. “Any modifications?” She pinched at the fabric of your dress as she surveyed the fit and you allowed her to manhandle you.

“Actually, my dress feels like it fits perfectly, as long as I don’t gain any weight.” You smoothed your fingers down the silk idly.

Darcy moved on to the other two dresses, pinching and surveying as she went and you twisted in the mirror to see the back of the dress.

“You said you work later tonight, right?” Ella asked as she was led back to her own dressing room and you followed.

“Yeah, I work at 5pm. I’ll have to leave as soon as we’re done with this fitting.”

Darcy waved one of the other attendings over, “Can you assess her dress? She’s running on a time limit.”

The woman nodded, ushering you back to your own dressing room and you stood up on the little stool in the center so that she could go over the details of your dress one final time before the wedding.

“So you’ve got somewhere to be soon?” She asked casually, sitting down beside the end of your dress with a pin between her teeth.

“Ah, yeah, I’ve got work later. I’m an anesthesiologist at the hospital.”

“You must be very busy,” She hummed and you nodded, watching her work.

“Yeah, I mean, it can definitely get crazy sometimes. I guess we’ll see how everything goes tonight.” You mused.

“I’m rooting for you.” She smiled up at you.

**

It wasn’t very often that the hospital was still. It was eerie in its solitude. Empty hallways, the nurse’s station busy with conversation. You were back in the maternity ward this evening. Not many rooms were occupied tonight; no babies ready to be born. You had one caesarean scheduled in two hours and a whole lot of free time.

You could hear the cry of a baby in a room as you passed; disquietude with its currently mortal journey. “Bored?” One of the nurses called and you smiled with a nod, “Come chat.” She waved you over and you complied with ease.

“How are you, Jane?” You inquired softly. Jane was young, mid-twenties, and fresh with enthusiasm. Her hair was wild in its bun, like she’d thrown it up in a hurry, but she smiled bright and that comforted you.

“I’m great,” she beamed, twisting the engagement ring around her finger idly. “Josh and I just put an offer in on a house!”

“That’s amazing!” You smiled, leaning across the desk. “I wish I could afford a house, but my apartment will have to do for now.”

“Honestly, the only reason we could afford to do it is because Josh sold that app he was developing. Got 3 million for it. Crazy, right?”

“3 million?” You spluttered, “Oh my gosh, I wish I could develop an app.”

Jane laughed, “Me too, but I have no talent for that sort of thing.”

“Me neither.” You mused.

“So how have you been, Y/N? I heard about you and Jimin. I’m so sorry.”

Your heart seized at the mention of his name, but you mustered a smile; you knew she meant well. Jane didn’t have an unkind bone in her body.

“I’m OK,” you answered honestly, “work keeps me pretty distracted. It’s just gonna take some time to learn my new normal.”

“I’m sorry I brought it up,” Jane frowned, “That was thoughtless of me.”

“It’s OK,” you reassured, “I know you, Jane, you didn’t mean any harm.”

“Just because I meant well doesn’t mean it was right. I’m sorry. I wish I could ease the pain.”

“I wish you could too,” you chuckled, “You sure Josh is the one? Not me?”

Jane giggled, “That’s what my wrist says, anyway.” She tapped at her tattoo and you grinned.

“Dang. He’s a lucky guy.” You sighed deep. “Well, I’m gonna go sit in the break room for a bit and rest my feet.”

“Get yourself a snack, too!” She called and you waved a goodbye.

The breakroom was quiet when you entered, one resident sprawled prostrate across the couch as its only occupant. You made your way to the vending machine, peering into the spirals, chaining snacks in place. Nothing of real substance; but there were pretzels.

After retiring to the couch with your snack, you allowed the silence to wash over you. It still didn’t feel real that Jimin was no longer around. Even in a new apartment, his absence was like a nail in your heart. You wondered if you’d ever feel better. Ever feel normal again.

Maybe if Jungkook- no, there was no point in thinking that way. He’d made his decision, you just needed to let that go. You couldn’t hold on to someone you weren’t even sure wanted you back. It was just another kind of heartache you didn’t need right now.

Back in high school you could have never imagined this future. A future in which your enemy was your soulmate and you were the one that was sad that he didn’t want to try for…more. It was frustrating just how devastated that made you feel.

The crunch of your pretzels filled your head like a drum and you stared absentmindedly at the ceiling. You could hear the soft snores of the sleeping resident and you wished that you could be like him. So many people said eventually you’d be able to just tune it all out and fall asleep, but you preferred the comfort of a bed and a couch that gave you a crick in the neck would never do.

The door to the breakroom opened and Jungkook walked sluggishly inside. He hadn’t noticed you, fiddling with something in the pocket of his scrubs. He walked up to survey the vending machine and you took the opportunity to watch him.

He looked tired; the kind of worn you could only get from working 18 straight hours without rest. His shoulders sagged with his fatigue and his eyelids drooped. He settled on a bag of chips before turning and spotting you.

“Oh. I didn’t see you there,” he walked towards you, motioning to the spot beside you. “Do you mind if I-?”

You shook your head, motioning for him to sit down and he slumped into the seat with a puff of exhaustion. “Long day?”

“The longest.” He nodded, slowly opening his bag of chips and munching on the end of one as his vision blurred on the floor.

“How long have you been here?” You asked softly, hoping your voice wasn’t loud enough to wake the sleeping resident on the opposite couch.

Jungkook shrugged, eyes still trained on the tile floor. “Probably 16 hours, maybe longer. I’m honestly not sure what time it is.”

You glanced down at your watch, humming. “It’s 9pm.”

He was slouched, docile like a doll in the lumpy cushions of the couch beneath you and you smiled down at him. You remembered how exhausted you were when you very first started. You were still exhausted most of the time, but now it was like a film over a window pane that you’d become accustomed to.

“How long does the exhaustion last for?” He asked, looking over at you and you shrugged.

“Probably forever.” You mumbled and he frowned.

“Encouraging.”

You chuckled, staring right back. “Sorry. To be fair, the load does lessen and it’s easier to function like a human, but it takes time. We’ve all got to put in our grunt work; it makes you appreciate things more.”

“Life’s never easy.” He nodded, tracing the edges of his chip bag. “I definitely agree that timing is everything and sometimes if you have to wait for something for a long time and work really hard for it…it’s more worthwhile because you’ve earned it. You know?”

He turned to look at you and suddenly you felt like his question was more than just surface level. “What if you work for something and you never end up getting it?” You asked softly.  “You work so hard for so long and have these big dreams and it just…never materializes?”

“Then I suppose it wasn’t meant to be.”

“It seems like even destiny has become a liar at times.” You sighed, but you couldn’t look away from him.

Jungkook shook his head, “I think sometimes it just takes a little longer for fate to work its magic.”

“Maybe,” you mumble, watching as his eyes traced along the shape of your face, “Jungkook, I-”

Suddenly, someone is yawning loudly and you jumped, turning to see the resident you’d completely forgotten about sitting up, scrubbing at his face tiredly. Dr. Amari smiled over at you, grin lopsided and drooping with fatigue.

“Evening Dr. Y/N, Dr. Jeon. That power nap was exactly what I needed.” He groaned, adjusting himself on the coach so that he was no longer on his front before pulling the table beside him forward and rifling through pages he’d apparently left there before falling asleep.

Jungkook chuckled to himself softly before standing and adjusting his scrubs. “I should go. I only had a few minutes to rest anyway. I’ll see you around, Y/N.”

You nodded, mute, and watched as he left back out the door he’d come in. The room returned to its previous solitude and you sighed. It was going to be such a long night.

**

Next chapter is THE chapter so look forward to that!

Let me know what you think, my loves <3

Chapter 14

Chapter 16

Copyright © 2018 by Taeken-My-Heart. All rights reserved.

[basicbrittiknow]

Advice To My Younger Self

Hey guys!! I hope everyone had a marvelous week and an even better weekend!!

Last week, I got some homework done, Friday I went to the drive-in with one of my best friends, to see Grease, which was such a cute time, and such an awesome way to get me out of the house!!

Today is Monday, August 17, 2020 and the topic of “things I would tell my younger self” popped into my brain on Friday, so I not only want to share some things I would’ve told myself when I was younger but I want to hear from you!! Please, share with me some things you would have told your younger self. 

I am 25, but I, by no means, know everything!! I have so much life left to live and so much more to learn. But that’s what this blog is all about right? Living, learning and growing together!! 

So let’s dive in, shall we?!

First order of business, school, or specifically, college. I don’t know about you, but college has always been apart of the plan for me. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t include college in my post high school plans. However, the plans I had for myself and the plans life had for me were two different things. When I graduated high school, I did go to college, but it wasn’t the college that I so excitedly looked forward to it was community college. *SIDE NOTE* There is absolutely nothing wrong with community college!! In fact, looking back, I wasn’t ready, in the slightest, to attend a University!! I was right where I needed to be!! And if I could go back in time, I would have done everything the exact same way. Because my time at community college allowed me to grow as a person and student, it gave me the time to become a more independent and responsible young adult, and it showed me that my future really is up to me, whether or not I sink or swim, is up to me 

So what would I tell my younger self about school? I would tell myself to work hard and stay focused, because everything works out the way it’s supposed to and in it’s own time. I would tell my younger self not to worry so much about what comes next, because everything will be just fine!!

Next up, let’s talk about relationships!! Relationships come in all types of forms: familial, platonic, professional, and of course, romantic. While different elements make up the different types of relationships, I have the same message for all of them, and that is, if the relationship doesn’t POSITIVELY affect you, let it go!! I’m not saying that if things aren’t always smooth sailing, never without a problem, walk away, because in that case, you may find yourself alone majority of the time. But I am saying that if a relationship of any kind leaves you upset, emotionally drained, fearful and unsure of yourself, walk away!! You’ll thank yourself later!! Trust me, I know it’s a lot easier said than done, but please!! Find it in yourself to leave alone those people who bring uncertainty, toxicity (yes, family can be toxic too) and unhappiness to you. I promise, there are better days and better people ahead.

I would have told my younger self all of these things regarding relationships, but I would have included “speak up for yourself”, which is something that I still struggle with!!But it is also something that has led to so many fall outs. If someone has a problem with you speaking up for yourself. for defending yourself, for being strong for yourself, for being yourself, those people are not meant to be in your life, and unworthy to do so. LET THEM GO!! You’ll be so much happier in the long run ;)

Next, goals/aspirations. When I was 18 and graduating high school, even beyond that age, well into my early twenties, nothing made me happier, more excited, than the thought of being young, rich and famous!! I wanted to be a super famous singer and tour with One Direction (they were so in at the time), and I was certain that that would be how Harry Styles and I would meet, fall in love and live happily ever after. *SIDE NOTE* If fame and fortune is your dream, YOU GO GIRL/BOY!! Chase that dream and work hard for it, and I know you can achieve it!! However, if you’re like me, and your dreams/goals/ambitions change every day, that’s okay too!! 

Ever heard that saying “A dream is a wish your heart makes.” by the famous Cinderella? That wish that your heart is making could be for the near or even distant future. Meaning between now and the time your wish comes true, it is perfectly fine to have a change of heart, to change up your plans!!

My advice to my younger self, and my advice to you, reading this, is to pursue whatever it is that sets your soul on fire in the best way. Pursue what makes you happy, pursue whatever it is that makes you excited to get out of bed in the morning!! 

It is a little scary and unnerving not having every little detail of your life figured out, at least for me it is, but the truth is, nobody has all of the answers, nobody has it all figured out, and that’s okay!!

Now, let’s talk about sex baby!! Freshman, 15 year old Brittany swore up and down she had met the one. I just knew I had met the boy I would marry, have a family with and share all the special firsts everyone experiences. I knew all of this at 15 and I was so wrong at 15!! Fast forward, 10 years later, and there have been at least 3 or 4 or 5 more guys (I’ve been a little less focused on the important stuff in the past) who I thought the same thing of. And guess what, I was wrong EVERY SINGLE TIME!! So here we are, age 25, still single, still waiting to experience all the special things with my very own special person, but I’m okay!!

The thought of being 25 and single with not even ONE prospect, at 15, made me cringe!! There was NO WAY!! It just wasn’t going to be, at least not for 15 year old me. 

While my journey to loving and embracing all the lessons and freedoms of single life hasn’t been smooth, fun, quick or consistent, RIGHT NOW, I’m very clear headed and I view the “single journey” if you will as such a magnificent, at times lonely, but overall wonderful time of self-discovery!! I learn something new about myself, and about life everyday, and I’m having so much fun!!

I say all of this to say, if I could talk t my younger self, knowing what I know now, I would tell myself to embrace every experience you have as a single person, learn all that you can while you can, and as far as sex? Wait until you meet the person that looks at you like you’re the only person in the room, like you’re the most important person in the room. Wait until you meet the person you KNOW will be there in the morning, not the one you HOPE will be there in the morning. Wait until you’ve found the person who is every cheesy but lovely cliche you can think of. WAIT!! It may not be easy, it may not be fun, but 25 year old Brittany promises, it ill be soooooo worth it. I don’t know everything, but the whole point of this blog is to live, learn and grow together, right? So that’s that on that!! MOVING ON!!

FEARS... fears have been something that I’ve come to be extremely familiar with since 2013, the year I graduated high school. From what class to take next, to what job to apply for and accept, to what purchase to make with this week’s paycheck, I live very cautiously, I must admit!! But living cautiously and living fearfully are two different things!! Being afraid is totally normal, everyone has fears. HOWEVER, in the words of the late great Babe Ruth, “Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.”

My life has been nothing short of beautiful, oozing with small victories, *Humble brag* and I refuse to believe it will be any less beautiful in the years to come. Life hasn’t always dealt me the best cards, but my life has been so amazing and beautiful because I never let fear control me and my decisions; even if I failed, I still took a chance, I didn’t let fear prevent me from at least cracking the door of opportunity. 

So in knowing all that I do not, I would tell my younger self to be afraid, cry and even hesitate if you want, but when you’re done freaking out, do what scares you anyway!! Because you never know what excitement lies on the other side of fear.

And finally, the future!! To sit here and say that the thought of the future, with all of it’s uncertainty and inevitable change, doesn’t cause alarm in me from time to time, would be a lie. It’s August; who would have thought that back in March, I’d still be unemployed, 5 months later, due to the pandemic? Had you told me that this was what would happen I would have started job hunting THEN!! 

My point is, none of us know what the near and/or distant future holds for us. So live for right now, as cheesy, cliche and played out as that sounds!! Putting my own twist on it... “Live for right now, but also live for the person you’ll be in 5, 15, 20 years. Make good, fun decisions and memories that future you will be proud of and even benefit from. I’m only just now learning that, but if I could tell my younger self anything regarding the future, it would be this. Live every day so that in years to come, you can look back and smile proudly!!

[accidentallyadrift]

Credit Cards and Finance Things: The Good, The Bad, and the Honest Truth

First off, if you’re dealing with an annoying mound of credit card debt you’re not alone. I used to swear up and down that I would never get a credit card...until I got to college. It was just one, with a manageable limit through my bank, but then it was two and then a Victoria’s Secret card and a Best Buy account, Amazon, American Airlines. It got out of hand quickly and now at 23 I’m still dealing with the repercussions of irresponsible decisions I made at 19. But, in dealing with all of the BS that comes along with credit cards and paying them off, my friends started asking me for advice with handling their own. Which seemed...Bizarre? Now initially I would have told you under no circumstances should you ever get a credit card ever! In reality this isn’t really a practical thing, and here are a few reasons why.

 If you have any plans to travel, rent hotel rooms or cars you’ll need a credit card. Most if not almost all rental car companies will not let you use a debit card when you’re renting a car. And if they do they increase the already ridiculous hold on your account and unless you have a major amount of liquid cash and you can stand to not access $400-$600 on top of your rental fees for the duration of your trip it’s a necessity. I’m often surprised at how many people don’t know this, the best man in my best friend’s wedding found himself stranded in New York City without a way to get to Vermont because the rental company they had booked with didn’t list that you had to pay by credit card and you had to be over 25. (Also age isn’t won’t always stop you from renting but it will almost always increase your rental price so check to see if there’s a young renter’s fee!) 

Certain hotels follow similar policies, and at minimum it’s always a good idea to have some way to cover your ass if you find yourself in a bind while away from home. Lost debit cards, emergencies, accidents, or traveling for work where you’ll be waiting to receive reimbursement from you employer are all things you could encounter where not having one is going to make for a giant pain in the ass. 

Different types of credit help you build a strong credit profile and no credit history can be just as frustrating to deal with as bad credit history. Credit Cards fall under the revolving debt category and help show that you can faithfully pay down or pay off a balance to a lender. They’re also how most people establish their length of credit history, which is a pretty large factor in your overall credit profile. Now, you don’t want just revolving accounts, installment accounts (usually car loans are where the average 20 something will pick this up) are even stronger for your credit profile and honestly look better than accounts with a revolving balance. Services like Credit Karma offer great break downs about all of this and how each type affects your credit scores. I highly recommend getting in the habit of checking your credit score on a regular basis if you don’t already. It’s free and it’s one of the first ways you can spot if something that doesn’t seem right shows up on your credit if you don’t pay for any kind of credit monitoring service. Having no credit history makes things like trying to rent an apartment or get a vehicle loan difficult. My current roommates previous roommate had no credit history or rental history and because that was viewed as a risk factor for the rental company their security deposit jumped to over $600 from $250. As for a vehicle loan you’re more than likely going to need a co-signer or co-borrower which can be difficult if you don’t have someone that is willing to put their name and credit on the line to help you.

Long story short. You need to build credit history some how, credit cards are kind of the path of least resistance to do so but I will say if you don’t think that you have the self control to keep your “emergency” card in your wallet for actual emergencies. I would suggest holding off. 

Your bank and local bankers are excellent resources for financial questions and concerns! You can always go in and chat with a banker about your financial goals or to seek some advice. Debt, budgeting and finances are tricky and no one is expecting you to understand it all so use the resources around you and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. 

The best thing I can recommend is to be SMART about what you choose, stay away from store cards with attractive incentives. “But what about the rewards?! And the freebies!? It has to worth it” Absolutely not, this is just a great way to build up unnecessary excess debt, and trust me the perks don’t take the sting out of the 29% interest rate once you realize how much you’re paying back for your retail therapy. 

Airline cards have the worst annual fees and ridiculously high interest rates, if you do want something travel specific that you can build miles up on the only one I suggest is through American Airlines specifically their Fly Now Pay Later program. This can only be used to purchase flights and has 6 months interest free financing on all of your flight purchases, you still earn miles and it’s tied to your frequent flyer number. Over all, this is a card I plan on keeping because it allows me to grab flights at any time when the prices bottom out because we all know that great deal won’t usually stick around till your next pay day. Just make sure to pay it off within that 6 month window and you’re good!

Really you want to look for a card that gives you cash back on your purchases, that you can either redeem for other things or you can roll back into your monthly payments. Personally, I have a Discover It card and although the interest rate is a little on the high side (which differs for everyone depending on your credit profile) it is nice that I can take whatever cash back rewards I have and roll them into my payment. 

If you’re like me and are dealing with multiple accounts and trying to tackle getting them all paid off. USE GOOGLE CALENDAR. I used to end up with late fees because I would space a payment and not realize it till the next morning when that stupid late fee had already been posted to my account. I wanted desperately to be an organized planner girl that could keep everything written down but it just doesn’t work for me, and I have to remember to write them all in every month and to be honest ain’t nobody got time for that. My google cal took me a bit to set up but the nice thing is, once it’s up you can set it to just auto repeat every single month until the end of time if you would like. Every single one of my accounts is listed on its due date, they start out green and when I’ve made the payment I go in and switch them to red for that month. If an account is paid off, I switch it to orange and just tell it to change all the following events to match.  Easy, simple, and no late fees. And since I get paid bi-weekly it really helps with pay mapping and knowing what I need to set aside to make sure everything is covered. 12/10 for the very visual planning type! Also, I know most banks have a Bill payer feature, I’ve just found that this is what works best for me. And if you’re like me and paying off multiple accounts tackle them one at a time! Make minimums on all of them except one, when that’s paid off move on to the next one. Everything is still getting paid but you’ll actually start to see productive results sooner. (This one came straight from my banker and let me tell ya it works!) Start with the smallest one and work your way up to the highest ones. 

Going Back to Pay Mapping, this is a great tool to tackle paying down debt and keeping your monthly budget on track. This allows you to sit down and see when you have money coming in and when money needs to in turn go back out to cover your bills and where you’ll need a little extra or where you’ll have some cash leftover. I usually pay map for a month out from wherever I’m doing my budget. Starting with my current account balance, adding in my upcoming paycheck, deducting all of the payments that will be made in that pay period until my next check and then adding that next check in and repeating the cycle. So I can see if one week I’m going to come up a little short then I need to keep some of my over flow cash from a previous week in order to make sure I don’t over draft my account. It seems simple, and you would think that it’s just basic knowledge...but again I’ve heard so many times “If I would have realized that I wouldn’t of done _____ last week!” The best thing you can do for your financial mind set is to alway be thinking forward, don’t let that extra 20 bucks burn a hole in your pocket if you haven’t checked to see if it really is extra. Better yet, just move it to your savings account (which you should also be dumping at least $10 in to whenever you can...I’m still trying to get better about this one myself).

And if you’re on top of it and pay your card off every month! Pay it off before the due date and then a revolving balance will never hit your credit report. Having accounts that are consistently paid off and don’t carry a revolving balance is the ideal way you want to deal with having credit cards. It looks great on your credit report that you pay faithfully, your usage stays low, and your still establishing length of credit history.

Wow okay this got much longer than I expected it to be but I feel like these are like the financial FAQs I usually get so now maybe I can just send it on as a master post the next time someone asks? But if any of this is unclear or you have other questions I’ll do my best to answer them! Again, by no means am I an expert this is simply a collection of things I’ve figured out through trial and lots of error. So if anything learn from my mistakes lol and if there’s anything you would like to add feel free! I’m always looking to learn more! 

Also, remember it’s not forever. It may be stressful and not very fun right now but if you keep working at it and you learn from it and you make sure you don’t end up there again. I know it can be incredibly overwhelming and it sucks when you have to make the choice to stay in and be responsible when all you want to do is go out and have fun. But, it’ll feel so much nicer when you know you’re doing it all cash and you don’t have to worry about paying for your fun at the end of the month. You got this! Now go color code your calendar and get that shit paid off!

[vulpinmusings]

Ski’tar and Friends part 9: From Frying Pan to Fryer

This week, Ski’tar, 6, and Vemir finish the Dataphile job and get started on the next faction’s task.

Premiere part

Antecedent part

Our meeting place for swapping the old hacker’s new identity for the data she unwittingly stole was Zetembi Park, a public space in the Eye that has been carefully groomed to resemble a natural forested area from lost Golarion.  It’s full of trees, meandering paths, a couple of small rivers, and other details that serve equally well to help one forget they’re on a giant space station and to create plenty of places for clandestine meetings.  Old Lady Hacker was waiting for us at the end of a bridge over one of the rivers, and everything seemed fine until we were about halfway across the bridge.  Then, Vemir and my drone both noticed unexpected movement in the bushes, and as we continued our approach with heightened vigilance, three goonish-looking humans appeared and started threatening the old lady.  The Bluerise Tower corporations had finally tracked her down and sent these three mercenaries to reclaim their data.

Since we also had a vested interest in obtaining that data, we trotted up and challenged the goons.  At first we put on the act of simply being concerned citizens stepping in to help a poor old lady who was being harassed, but the goons were not to be intimidated.  Their orders were clear and their paychecks plenty high enough to make them confident they could handle a three-armed Kasantha, a robot man, and a little rat.  Our group and theirs traded insults and threats until the goons finally decided to make a real fight of it.

After a brief opening salvo of missed pistol shots from Sixer, my drone, and one of the goons, I tried to lob a grenade behind the goons to frag them without hurting any of us, only to fumble and drop the ‘nade off the bridge.  The explosion of water was pretty, but harmless.  One of the goons grabbed Old Lady Hacker and started to drag her off, while Vemir and Sixer engaged the other two in melee combat.  Vemir tried to do some fancy knife trick, but only managed to score a light hit on his opponent and took a baton to the face for his trouble, which cracked one of his goggle lenses.  Vemir did not like that at all; he’s got a Tradition about hiding his eyes on top of the species-wide habit of covering his mouth.  Covering his exposed eye with one hand, Vemir forwent trickery and focused all his efforts on stabbing his guy with his recently acquired venom spur.  Sixer took a sword to his opponent, who responded with trying to shoot Sixer at close range.  I shot Sixer’s target a couple times to keep him off-balance while I circled around to get at the goon dragging Old Lady Hacker away.  My drone tried to contribute, but its aim continued to prove faulty.

One tactical knife to the arm was enough to convince the hostage-taker that he had a higher priority than getting Old Lady Hacker away.  His counter-attack was pitifully easy to duck under.

Sixer’s opponent decided at this point that the risk to his life was not worth the money he’d been paid, so he disengaged and started to run off.  A moment later, Vemir succeeded in stabbing his guy with the venom spur, and that goon also decided enough was enough.  Sixer pointed out the risk of the goons going for reinforcements, so I backed off from my opponent just enough to toss a second grenade into the path of the escaping goons.  The explosion was marvelous; the two runners were reduced to bloody gibs, and the shrapnel spread far enough to cut the third guy’s arm off and blow out a kneecap along with other serious wounds.  I called my drone over to point its gun threateningly at the remaining goon as I posed with a third grenade and offered the guy a chance to leave and seek medical attention if he promised not to go crying back to his bosses.  He gladly took up the offer and crawled away in the most tortuous scene ever.  I almost considered putting him out of his misery despite my promise, but he was out of sight before I made up my mind.

Aside from some blood splatter, Old Lady Hacker was in perfect shape and in surprisingly high spirits. She waxed nostalgic a bit about how the fight reminded her of similar encounters back in her youth, until I handed over her new ID to get her back on track.  Once we’d finished briefing her on the details of her new life and the circumstances of her false death, she declared that she would stay at the Lorespire Complex for a couple of days to let the heat die down.

So, after all the work she put us through because she didn’t trust the Starfinders to keep her safe, she ends up doing exactly that.

We escorted her back to the Complex and presented her and her data to Historia-7.  Historia recognized Old Lady Hacker’s name instantly, and the two hit it off like old friends.  They downloaded the stolen data to the archive computers, and after looking through it all Historia declared it was exactly what she needed for some mystery she was working on.  We couldn’t get her attention long enough to have her elaborate, so we just left. Vemir bought some sunglasses from the Lorespire Gift Shop to wear until I could take the time to repair his goggles, and then we went off to Guidance to get our next assignment.

For our third initiation task, we would be working for the Exo-guardians, the military branch of the Starfinders and the faction most heavily hurt by the Scored Stars Disaster.  They didn’t have any kind of headquarters on Absalom Station, but their current leader, a Shirren named Zigvigix, did live on-station in the Down-low.  We were instructed to meet with him in a park near his neighborhood, but there wasn’t as serious a time constraint as there had been for our previous two missions.  We decided to take a bit of downtime to evaluate our conditions, and so I could fix Vemir’s goggles.  Once I’d done that, I made some modifications to my drone, replacing its visual sensors with a new set that could broadcast what it saw to my rig and re-calibrating its aiming algorithms from the ground up along with reinforcing its outer plating a bit.  Hopefully the drone will shoot better in the future, but the only real test of that is to get into an actual fight.

Once we all felt ready to take on whatever monsters the Exo-guardians would inevitably sic us on, we met up and prepared to head to the Down-low.  Just before left, however, a courier drone rolled up to us with a message of belated thanks from Historia-7 and a box containing 200 credits and a frostbite zero rifle.  Feeling comfortable with my finances, I let Vemir take all the creds while Sixer claimed the rifle, since he was the only one of us with any long-arm skills at the moment.

Zigvigix’s neighborhood was a “poor but trendy” location – the kind of place that attracts people by playing up the aesthetic of the eccentricity of its inhabitants.  The “park” we headed to was more of an art installation, full of weird metal sculptures and absolutely ripe with garbage and graffiti of cute but off-putting animals.  Zigvigix was sitting on a cement bench munching on some rice candy, and he offered us some as he introduced himself through telepathy.  Right off the bat, he gave us permission to refer to him as “Ziggy,” which I would likely have chosen to be his nickname anyway.  He seemed like a typically gregarious Shirren, but that friendly attitude was undercut by a serious case of survivor’s guilt for not being a casualty of the Scored Stars Disaster.

At any rate, Ziggy actually had two jobs for us.  The first was to help secure a new headquarters for the faction on Absalom Station.  The Stewards had gifted the Exo-guardians an old warehouse that they no longer needed, but the place had a bad case of deadly alien monster hiding inside it, so we had to go kill the thing and clean the warehouse out a bit in preparation for refitting it as a headquarters.  The second job… Ziggy wanted us to go buy a copy of the new Strawberry Machinegun album as a gift for Historia-7.  Ziggy thought the Dataphile leader seemed a depressed lately, and had noticed that Strawberry Machinegun seemed to be quite good for raising android spirits.  The problem was, Strawberry Machinegun was only the biggest name in sugar-pop music, so the lines to get an album were more than Ziggy could deal with.

Sixer and I volunteered to go get the album right away, while Vemir opted to stay behind and keep Ziggy company.  Ziggy gave us a cred stick to use to purchase the album, and off we went.  While we were gone, Vemir got Ziggy to open up a little about the Scored Stars Disaster.  He didn’t learn much except that there wasn’t much known for sure about what happened.  Most of the Society had gone off to wherever the Scored Stars were, and then their drift beacon had suddenly gone dark and there had been no contact since.  There were rumors about the Disaster, but Ziggy didn’t feel up to relating them and Vemir didn’t press.

At the music shop, Sixer and I found ourselves caught up in a six-hour long queue, with people pressing about on all sides.  As Sixer dealt with the brunt of the pushing, I took up a perch on my drone to both make myself more visible (and thus less of a trip hazard) and so the drone would take most of the abuse from the mob pushing and shoving.  As we got near the front of the line, I was feeling smug in my position because while Sixer looked exhausted, I was still fresh as a moonflower.

And then someone stumbled into my drone hard enough to knock me off, bruising my nose on impact with the floor.

Maybe I should have gone for the riding saddle mod…

When we made it to the front of the line, Sixer and I both decided that after enduring six hours of that, we deserved to get something for ourselves, so we bought three copies of the album in all and went back to the park.  I’m not sure what Sixer was thinking on the way, but I was plotting ways to force Vemir to join us in listening to Strawberry Machinegun.  Possibly in double-stereo.

We handed over Ziggy’s copy of the album, and after thanking us for our heroic standing-in-line efforts, he showed us some security footage from the warehouse so we could get an idea of what we’d be dealing with.  The footage showed a worker moving a crate, and then something feathery bursting out of the crate and quickly devouring the poor sap.  There wasn’t much footage, but after watching it several times I realized I knew what the creature was: a feather stalker.  It’s an exceptional ambush hunter, quite dangerous even when you know one’s about.  Vemir and Sixer were confident we could handle the beast, but as for me, I’d rather stand in that line at the music store again.

[sidewalkscienceguy]

Donald Trump is trying to destroy solar energy in America.

As someone who has been using 100% solar energy to power everything but my apartment and car for nearly eight months, and frequently has too much energy and too little storage, I feel the need to comment on this.

So Trump put a 30% tariff on importing materials used to manufacture solar panels. More than 50% of the world's silicon production (the element that best allows for the photovoltaic effect) is in China, whereas less than 5% of production is in the US. Not to mention other imported materials needed to make solar panels.

Before anyone says "then why don't we just make this stuff in America," we do, but in very small quantities, because the resources to create these materials are scarce in North America. It's called GEOpolitics for a reason.

So, higher tariffs on imported materials required to manufacture solar panels means fewer American companies will be purchasing foreign materials, because foreign materials will be jump in cost to account for the tariffs. The countries trading the materials will also trade less material so as not to incur these tariffs at their own expense, which could stem the flow imported goods to a trickle. These same countries will begin trading with other countries that don't have as high a tariff and whose governments actually encourage renewable energy and solar production (unlike, obviously, the shitty assholes in our government whose paychecks come from the Koch Brothers and Big Oil, all of who don't give a damn, because only socialist countries use renewable energy, afterall).

More solar production in America = less cost to consumers (free energy for immediate purchasers and long-term users)

More production = overproduction

Overproduction = manufacturing and innovating better storage

Better storage = longer usage, more energy to drive more industry and innovation in technology

More industry and technology + cheap/free energy = more money in individual pockets, more job creation, boost in economy

Boost in economy + more money to individuals + high skill job creation = better education and rise in quality of life for lower and middle classes

Better education and rise in quality of life = better social values and more intelligent citizens entering workforce and entreprenurial sector.

So why discourage solar production? Why not lead the charge and prioritize solar production, instead of speaking out against it and making it more difficult to obtain solar in America? Why not make it more difficult to import oil to encourage a transition to cleaner, more reliable, and cheaper if not FREE energy? Why?

Transitioning to solar and renewable energy should absolutely be one of the highest priorities for our government, but it's not. We have all these individual companies and cities saying they'll phase out coal and oil and go all electric and renewable, and you're going to see an increase in profits, an increase in the quality of life in those cities, better income, and more innovation. Oil companies know this is happening -- and they are going to fight as brutally as a wounded animal, and they will fund campaigns of people who support coal and oil, even though they are dying.

Yes, oil isn't just used as fuel. It's in clothes, and soaps, and ink, and whatever else. Obviously. That's completely beside the point. Because our transportation is the #1 source of our carbon emissions. We have heat islands in cities for a reason. You wouldn't breathe in a tailpipe FOR A REASON. If we could completely eliminate transportation emissions in the next 10 years, and household and structure emissions in the next 20, why isn't the government even voicing support for that? The government doesn't have to regulate everything and lead the charge, but Trump and his cronies literally and forcefully OPPOSE renewable energy.

I have six solar panels and three large battery packs. I have been using these for eight months. Five hours of sunlight gives me more than a week's worth of energy to use. If I had the resources to store ALL of the energy I could generate per day, I would be able to generate about two weeks of energy in a SINGLE DAY. In one week, I would have enough energy to use for more than six months. So don't tell me solar doesn't work. Don't me it's bad on a cloudy day, or during snowstorms, or at night, or when it's raining. I have gone nearly two weeks without sunlight and been completely fine. Mine are just the small scale. I haven't even used a wall plug for anything but my computer in eight months (and computer is just emergencies). But I don't even put them out every day, because I just don't have the storage capacity for the energy I *could* generate. Solar works. Solar is infinitely better than coal and oil ever will be. We need to be funding it. We need to be pushing ahead with it. We can't be punishing it just to cling to some outdated way of thinking. If you claim to want a better America (let's be real, Trump doesn't give one single shit), you need to understand #1 that we NEED these materials and #2 they don't magically appear in the ground where you put your shovel. The rest of the world, ESPECIALLY CHINA, for god's sake, is pushing ahead with developing solar infrastructures. So why aren't we even trying? And "because it's not the government's job" isn't an excuse. Know why? Because the Donald Trump and the government is SUPPRESSING it.

[soulesssoprano]

Money money money

I'm raging inside today.

Have you ever heard of "Financial Abuse"? I sure as he'll never did until after I was a victim of it...

I knew things seemed off when all of the utilities went into my name. Everything we purchased had to be in my name. I knew I couldn't trust him with money and yet I continued to give him that power.

For 5 years MY income tax checks always went to things he wanted or claimed we needed.. such as.... holy shit I have no idea. The only ones I can remember are the last two because I got them within 2 weeks of each other (I screwed up my taxes for 2015 so I got my tax return for 2015 and 2016 in March of 2017) April of 2017 was when we got back together after he was kicked out of Pennsylvania and we moved to Florida.. so both of those entire checks went towards my final months rent, travelling to Florida and just general living expenses when we got there.

My credit score is below 500. I have mountains of debt that are almost all in collections because I was literally NOT ALLOWED to pay on anything including my student loans.

Like I am so fucked.

Honestly, I am more angry about the financial abuse he put me through than the emotional and sexual abuse.

I can and I am finding my way through dealing with the mental issues I now have because of him.

What I cannot stand is that I am in the shittiest financial situation I could have ever imagined making less than $30,000 a year AND I AM FUCKING STUCK.

My car is a 2002 with over 200,000 miles on it. 3 months ago I put $500 into this fucking car. I've had to put 3 new tires on that bitch in the last 10 days totally about $200 and now it needs several things to pass inspection. I literally cannot afford to fix this car. Honestly, it's not even WORTH fixing.

I'd love to be able to go get a new (to me) car. But living paycheck to paycheck and having literally $0 in my drained savings will not allow me to do so.. oh yeah and my credit score makes this a laughable thought anyways.

My mom suggested a buy here pay here car lot. Great idea. Except every one around here has a minimum WEEKLY payment of $100... so that's at least $400 a month. I couldn't even squeeze an extra $100 a month out of what I get to pay for a new car.

Someone please tell me what the fuck I am supposed to do. How am I supposed to get loans to consolidate or refinance and get back on track? I can't afford the high monthly payments on my student loans as it is let alone try to pay off bills in collection.

I broke down crying in the middle of Wal-Mart today because my job doesn't offer health insurance yet (very small company) and my medication was going to be $93. I did end up finding some coupons online and got them for $10 later, but that's beside the point.

My family is not in a good enough financial situation to be able to help me either. My mom does anything and everything she can for me. She had $50 to her name to get her to payday and she put $45 in my bank account so I could pay my phone bill this month. I hate that. That's my mom. I feel a responsibility to make sure she is okay, too. Her leaving herself with $5 to make it an entire week just so my phone would continue to work absolutely kills me.

I can not live like this any longer.

Someone please help.

Please

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

It's a low af spoon day, but I'm not upset or grumpy about it. In fact, it's actually a good thing! This is forcing me to take several days off from doing anything related to sewing. My wrist is sore, fingertips are bruised, my back and neck are lecturing me, blah blah blah.

Why a low spoon day? A little mental stuff that fellow Disabled folks will understand and doesn't need talking about. Chronic pain, my asthma has made breathing difficult due to wildfire smoke fucking with it, sleep deprived and difficulty breathing are making my energy drop down into the red zone real quick, and I got a lot done over the last week.

This morning I had to choose between taking a shower or doing laundry. I opted for a sponge bath, wash my face, pull my hair back, and got dressed. Oh, washing my face replenishes spoons; my skin is combination very dry and impressively oily. I have warm eyelids, which is a fancy way of saying they're extremely oily. Gums up my lashes and burns my eyes, and it's especially bad in the morning. My hair is also extremely oily. I washed it day before last, yesterday it had at least an inch of oil on it, today it's downright gross. Feels like I didn't wash some hair product out.

Before anyone gives me hair care tips about washing is bad, use dry shampoo, and anything else you think is a good idea: DON'T. I've tried all that shit, including six months of "learning and training my scalp and hair," which turned into the famous fungal infection referred to as dandruff. I have psoriasis on my scalp, as well as acne, and not washing it at least every other day results in irritation and inflammation. Dry shampoo gets weird on my scalp due to how oily it is. I even saw a doctor and a hairdresser about this, both told me my scalp is not overreacting to being washed too often. I just have oily hair. Brushes that help spread the oil from root and down the length of my hair, they don't get through all the layers of my hair. It's absurdly thick, which is why I have half my hair shaved off. I tried the boar hair brushes, boar hair brushes made for thick hair, even a slicker brush made for long hair cats. Because I'm typically washing every other day, every fifth washing I use a vinegar rinse, otherwise my scalp is too alkaline and dandruff starts developing again. I know my hair and scalp better than anyone else.

Spoons will be spent on laundry and cooking today, tomorrow I'll clean the bathroom, and day after sweeping and mopping. It takes spoons to make a clean house, but a clean house makes it easier to replenish spoons.

Then I'm making a table runner or two for myself, followed by more shop inventory on my Ko-Fi. I want to add at least half a dozen listings by the end of the year. One thing I really wanna make is a table runner with matching placemats and coasters. It'll be at least $300 when finished, but it's worth the price. I intend to make lots of coaster sets as well as a few mug rugs; there are lots of fabric scraps that will be perfect for these.

Right now, I wanna place ACV, but there's too much sunlight in my living room. The curtains aren't blackout, they just do a really good job of filtering light. It creates an indirect sunlight environment, which all the plants I have absolutely love. They would die if I used darker curtains, and require that I open them to let in sunlight. Please don't offer solutions. This setup prevents me from spending the entire day on my ass playing video games. I do want to read; I'm on books six of WoT, but I don't have any of the books after it. Because I read quickly, and a lot, I'll finish the books in just two or three days, which is one of the reasons why I read in bed by candlelight. Strains my eyes, makes them tired, forces me to stop reading, and I end up taking two to three weeks to finish a book. Purchasing anything right now isn't an option because we're low on money and have bills to pay. Husband's first full paycheck will arrive on Halloween.

If you wanna toss money our way, you can do so on my Ko-Fi by donation or purchase. Or you can click be a monthly supporter, similar to Patreon. Currently I have three and receive a total of $27/month. I'm late on sending them postcards, but making up for it by sending them all mug rugs. Oh, everyone gets a postcard from me each month, and I'll be send them off tomorrow. I do intend to send them all something special in December.

I just noticed how long this post is.

Remember to give yourself a break, ideally at least two days a week and one right after the other. I aim for three because that's a nice number and works out great for me.

[bloomingjellies]

@probablylostrightnow I’m so happy for your self-discovery!! if only because you’re asking me about nail polish (also, you know, your health and happiness blah blah blah ^.^)

So I agree with the previous suggestions you’ve gotten about going to a salon first, if only to help get started in a way that won’t be extremely overwhelming. Plus, they’ll clean your nails and cuticles up.

The main things you need are a good base coat and top coat and, of course, nail polish. Sally Hansen is good “entry level” as in, it’s not terrible and it’s not expensive. I used their Insta-Dri Anti-Chip top coat for a while and while it does dry really fucking fast, it’s not anti-chip, at least not for very long on me. But! It’s a good place to start.

More than you probably ever wanted to know about nail polish under the cut

Ok so general nail care. I don’t expect you’ll be changing your polish as much as I do (every other or every third day tbh) but polish and remover is bad for your nails so you need to give them some extra tlc if you’re going to keep them painted. Cuticle oil and lotions are your friends even though I hate any kind of residue on my hands.

As I’m sure you’re noticing, feminine-advertised products are fucking expensive. I could blow an entire paycheck at Sephora easily and unfortunately the better products are more expensive but I’ve found a nice middle ground with nail polish products. 

Nail maintenance

Biotin is your friend. It’s your best friend. If you want stronger nails and thicker, faster growing hair, take biotin. I ran out and didn’t replenish for ~1.5 months and recently had to cut all my nails pretty short because they were breaking too easily. And I hadn’t cut my nails (filed and shaped, yes) in well over a year. I take a 5000mg cheap ass drugstore brand pill every morning and it works great.

If your nails aren’t in great shape to begin with, then I suggest using Nailtiques Nail Protein. It’s a nail strengthener than can double as a base coat, which I sometimes do if I’m not worried about the polish staining. When I first started wearing a lot of polish my nails started peeling so I took two weeks off (well, I was post-op and couldn’t paint my nails easily) and used this everyday and have not had an issue with peeling nails since.

So, remover. You can get the $0.79 ones at the drugstore but honestly, they’ll wreck your nails. My absolute favorite is Nailtiques Non-Acetone Remover with Aloe because a) it doesn’t wreck my nails, b) it’s even mildly moisturizing, and c) it doesn’t smell terrible. Always get a non-acetone remover!

Get some cheap cotton balls and cotton rounds and do the cotton ball trick. I used to scrub endlessly to get glitter nail polish off but now I just smack pieces of remover-soaked cotton on my nails for a minute and the whole thing swipes off. A-m-a-z-i-n-g

Base coat and top coat

Tbh you need a base coat, if only to protect your nails from staining but they also help your nail polish last longer. There are some that are better than others: Nailtiques protein is pretty good, Essie was a little lackluster to me and I’ve had some staining with it (tbf the polish was neon orange), OPI is good but expensive. My current go-to is Glisten & Glow for both top coat and base coat. Seche Vita is one of the most popular top coats--with good reason--but it’s a little intimidating the first time because you put it on while the polish is still wet but you have to be very careful not to pickup any of the wet polish on the brush. 

Edit: @coinin made a good point about Seche--it does contain toluene, so if you’re trying to avoid all the nasty chemicals then skip Seche too.

Painting/Cleaning Up

I don’t have terribly steady hands. I use a Photoshop plug-in to help me draw straight. I can’t put polish on without getting it on my skin. I just can’t. So! There are some options for clean-up: tweezers (carefully peel off any rogue polish, feels a lot like peeling off white glue that you’ve rubbed on your fingers), remover + brush/eyeshadow brush (you sort of paint the polish off your skin; this is the most popular method (I like to use these because they’re angled)), liquid silicon (it’s like the opposite of normal polish: you want to paint it everywhere except your nails and then you peel it off when you’re done. I’ll use it sometimes, especially if I’m wearing black polish but the effort is not always worth it to me)

Nail polish

The FUN PART! This is all down to personal taste. For example: @black-rose4 and I rib each other a lot about my love of- and her aversion to glitter polishes.

So main categories: micro glitter, flakies, multichrome, holo, thermal, magnetic.

Edit: @black-rose4 pointed out I forgot creme polish, which yeah, fine I did but it’s just so basic and boring ;)

I will rec Dragonsworn Cosmetics until the cows come home because not only does she do all the fun fandom polishes, but she does customs and, frankly, her shit’s just good. Specific suggestions: Dungeon Master (so sparkly), Mr. Nancy and/or The Zoryas, Moira, and Vetra. If you want to start out with (or are interested in) more muted tones then Varric, Bastion, McCree, and Leliana are good. 

Some of my other favorite brands are Tonic, Illyrian, Lyn B Designs, Moonshine, and Emily de Molly.

Tonic and Illyrian are event-release, which means they’ll shut their shops down either right before or until they have new releases. 

Lyn B, Moonshine, and Emily de Molly are always open and Lyn B often has 50% off sales. She sends the codes if you sign up for emails.

You can buy polish individual from the makers’ sites or you can use a stockist and get a bunch of different brands in one purchase. Color4Nails is the biggest US-based stockist (and they carry some of my favorites like Tonic and Illyrian) but if you don’t mind the wait, Netherlands-based Hypnotic Polish has some unique brands (like Starrily <3). CbL (Colors by Llarowe) is also a good brand to start with--nice colors, good formula and a lot of their polishes are opaque enough that you only need one coat (though I’ve heard she’s got some shady business practices, like buying out a supplier and then not selling any of the stock to other makers but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ).

Aaannd there’s Polish Pickup. The best and worst thing that has happened to me as far as nail polish is concerned. PPU is an event release on the first weekend of every month. A monthly theme is voted on and then the polish makers create unique polishes specifically for PPU. These are unique, one-of-a-kind polishes that--unless they do a throwback event like they are in July--you can only get the weekend of the release. Remember me making a post crying about not getting Ghosts of the Vault before it sold out? Yeah, that’s from PPU (and it’s coming back in July imma buy like five bottles). The facebook group is the best place to see previews.

Indie brands, for the most part, are 5-free, which means they don’t use the top 5 most harmful chemicals in their polishes. Mainstream brands don’t really do this because those chemicals make the polishes more durable, anti-chip, and long lasting. Personally, extra maintenance is worth not having those chemicals bbuuttt I also change my polish before it would chip anyway. 

So yeah, I like nail polish a lot. 

Thanks for coming to my ted talk

[brokestminimalist]

Broke Laundry

We will, for the time being, skip talking about how almost all of us have too many clothes.  This is a related topic, but one that deserves its own discussion.  The clothes that you have get dirty, and must be washed.  We are going to assume you have access to a modern washing machine, either at your house or a laundromat. We're going to call step one sorting.

Sorting: Look, ain’t nobody got time for this.  This is an extra chore that is 99% not necessary.  Unless you have specialty fabrics or are particular about how white your whites are, it's just added  stress and a waste of time.  We run a load of whites with a cup of bleach once a month to keep them pretty, but otherwise we do not separate colors.  We do not own things that can’t survive the washing machine, either.  No delicates, no dry cleaning.  We wash towels with our clothes, and sheets together with bedspreads. Done and done.

Laundry Detergent: We would avoid the very cheapest for the sake of our darks, but you also do not need to spring for the most expensive thing on the shelf.  In fact, we make our own laundry detergent here from one part washing soda, one part Borax, and one part soap. A double batch is enough detergent to last three months here. Good recipes can be had all over the internet, so go forth and find yourself one.  If you're washing in cold water and your tap water is very cold, such as in the winter, you may find it necessary to stir your homemade detergent into a cup of hot water before putting it into the machine. Out of detergent?  A spoonful of dish soap will do in a pinch.  Regardless of whether you're using store bought or homemade, don't use too much detergent; it's bad for the machine, the environment, and your clothes.  We do not want to buy new clothes until we absolutely have to, right?  Right.

Fabric Softener: I recently saw a headline about how Millennials are killing the fabric softener industry.  I think the truth is, they are prioritizing groceries and lights over luxuries like Downy.  If you must have it and can afford it, go ahead.  Measure carefully but don't dilute unless the package says so.  Fabric softener sheets are a good alternative, if you are using a dryer.  Here at Brokest Minimalist, we use a Downy ball with white vinegar in it.  The vinegar cuts soap residue, softens most fabrics, and is much cheaper.  Plus it's versatile enough to be used for cleaning as well.  An added bonus is that it doesn't reduce the absorbency of your towels like regular fabric softener does.  Our towels soak up ALL THE WATERS, no questions asked.

Water:  Set your washer on Tap Cold. Yes, really.  Unless your clothes are very greasy, almost anything can be washed in cold water and will get just as clean.  It isn't so much the temperature of the water or even the detergent that does the washing, as much as it is the action of the clothes rubbing against each other inside the machine.  Anything that's machine washable can be washed in cold water, period.

Settings: On our machine at home, clothes go on “casual” and sheets/bedspreads on “heavy duty”. Don't stress too much about this.  Choose a water level that is appropriate to how full the machine is, add your stuff, and go ahead.

Drying:  Here at Brokest Minimalist, we don't dry anything in the dryer.  Why?  Because air dries stuff for free, that's why.  Clothes dryers are one of the most frivolous uses of electricity in the modern world.  They are also one of the number one causes of fire in the United States, after candles and cooking fires.  Unless you are in a huge hurry, hang your clothes to dry. Outdoors if possible, as sun dried clothing smells much better than any fabric softener does.  You don't even have to spend all afternoon pinning stuff to a clothesline like your great-grandma did, either! Our system is beautiful in its simplicity.  We take our clothes out of the washing machine, hang them on clothes hangers, and then hang the hangers on the clothesline.  If you have a smooth line, tie knots in it or use clothespins to keep stuff from sliding back and forth in the breeze.  If you don’t have a line, put one up or buy a portable or retractable one. In summer your clothes will be dry within an hour in direct sunlight, which is a comparable time to many dryers.  If it's raining, you can hang them indoors over curtain rods, from your mantel, or on your shower curtain rod.  Even if it's freezing outside, in direct sunlight your clothes will dry within a few hours. For free.  No kidding.  And UV light is a great sanitizer if you're worried about germs! Here we hang our and towels and unmentionables on racks purchased from Amazon, such as this and this.  Another tidbit we have figured out, is that there is no need to wait until daylight to hang your clothes. In the old days it was nigh unheard of, but there's no harm.  The morning dew won't make your wet clothes wetter.   Do you work nights?  Do a load of laundry after you get home from work and hang it out to dry, even if it's midnight.  It will be dry by lunchtime tomorrow.   This saves wear and tear on your clothes, it saves electricity, it won't create extra static like the dryer, and hanging stuff is kind of a nice, meditative way to spend a few minutes. Take some deep breaths of fresh air, reflect on your day, let go of some anxiety.

Does all of this sound too complicated? Written down it's a lot, but let us take you through a load of laundry we just did.  For the record, it is currently one o'clock in the morning.  It's 31 degrees outside.

1) Put clothes in washer.  Not sorted, just all the clothes in the hamper or off your floordrobe, dumped into the washing machine.

2) It's cold out, so put a tablespoon of detergent into a cup of hot water and stir.  Pour in washer. Put white vinegar in Downy ball, toss in washer.

3) Push start button and go do something else.  Read, take a nap, cook, clean bathroom. Write a long-winded Tumblr post.  Whatever.

4) When load is done, hang shirts and pants on hangers, towels on a rack, and underwear/socks on one of these things.  This is the longest part, and it takes 5-7 minutes, max. You can do it while watching tv or listening to music.

5) Carry your hung up clothes outdoors to the clothesline and hang them up, or to whatever indoor location you have deemed fit if it is raining.  Stick the towel rack outside too, if you like.

These will be dry in a few hours except for very heavy things like thing hoodies or jeans, those may take longer.  Yes, even if it's cool outside.  As long as there is direct sunlight, they will dry.  When you're ready, bring them in. All the clothes are already on hangers, so just stick them in your closet.

Once upon a time we had a lot of drama about laundry.  We had fights over whose turn it was, how much Tide to put in, and who was going to clean the lint trap.  When the dryer broke, we agonized over the three hundred dollars it would take to buy a new one.  That three hundred dollars meant going without cable for two months, it meant scrimping for groceries and paying a late fee on our phone bill.  It was more than an entire paycheck, just to dry our clothes!

Today that same dryer is sitting in our laundry room in disuse.  We have it, for emergencies.  A drink spilled on a work shirt, perhaps, that needs to be worn in 30 minutes.  It's good for fluffing up pillows, on the no-heat setting. It wasn't worth the stress or the tears or the three hundred dollars we put into it all those years ago.  It’s basically a glorified shelf for our detergent now:

So today, I challenge you, broke person.  Don't wear those grungy jeans for one more day.   Do a load of laundry, as frugally as you can.  Measure your detergent carefully, hang your clothes to dry.  Your clothes will last longer, your utility bill will be lower, and you will have a few minutes of peace and quiet outside.  It's less wear and tear, less electricity, and less stress, and that's a minimalist win.

If you do choose to dry your clothes in a dryer, beware of over-drying as that can cause static and extra wear and tear on your clothes.  Clean out your lint trap, it will make your clothes dry faster and reduce the risk of fire.  If you are too broke to have dryer sheets, wool dryer balls are pretty cheap and effective for fabric softening and reducing static.  We have also heard that you could use tennis balls or a couple balls of wadded up aluminum foil for this purpose.

Happy washing!

Some links: homemade detergent at TSD, and Mr. Electricity's opinion on dryers.

[biayahlife]

Things that are Making Me Happy~!

Hello all!

Today we are going to go through all the things making me happy at this moment. I am in a good mood and I’d like to share that with y’all. This week has been a nice one and I’m going to keep that feeling going.

Number One: Hanging out with friends

A few weekends ago we got to see like 7 people all in the same weekend. It was INCREDIBLE! I used to think that I was a reclusive person, someone that didn’t enjoy socializing at all, but now? Omg I love hanging out with people. I’ve missed them all so much! It was worse since Cinnamon was recovering, and we didn’t want anyone coming over while she needed to stay quiet. Lately, things are getting back to that normal feeling, and I want to make every excuse to see everyone. We’re planning on doing game nights with friends and family, and I’m sure if you’ve read previous posts you’ll remember that we’ve got outings planned.

Payday

I don’t know a single person that doesn’t like payday. It’s the best day of the month. I don’t make a lot, and I’m mostly paycheck to paycheck so that sweet rush when I check my bank account and see it full makes me completely thrilled.

Seeing the kids

We got to take my niece for the day recently, and it was great. In 2019 I made a promise to my niece that she’d get to hang out with Miayah and myself at least once a month every month, but that went to the wayside with covid. We hadn’t really gotten to hang out at all for nearly an entire year. She’s the cutest thing, and she’s getting so big!!! We played dress up. We did makeup. We watched The Mitchells versus the Machines which was surprisingly good. We went out to an arcade and ate pizza and played games. It was such a gratifying experience, and a lovely way to get back into the habit of hanging with her.

Going out to eat

Take out has its perks, but we’ve been going out lately, and it’s a whole different experience that I forgot about. There are good pieces and bad; for example, a bad part is that it takes a lot more time to go to a restaurant than to order in. Miayah mentioned it in her post earlier this week - when you order food you don’t have to travel, you can keep doing whatever you’re doing while you wait for the food to show up. The good pieces though are wonderful: you get out of the house; you get into a new environment; there are different sights and smells and sounds; and the food is SO much better when it’s steaming hot right out of the kitchen. We had Chicago-style sandwiches recently, and I can’t imagine that they would have been nearly as good if they’d taken an extra 30 minutes to get to our house after they were ordered.

Cute clothing that fits right

So this is actually a bit of a mixed bag. I’d written this down in a list as a good thing and it IS a good thing, however, I’m not having as much luck with well fitting clothing as I’d like. I found the best pair of pants that I’ve had in a very long time which I am greatly enjoying. I ordered $250 worth of dresses, and not a single one fit. I was very disappointed, but luckily the website I ordered from gave me a full refund when I sent them back. It’s not quite the result I was hoping for. Maybe I’ll go shopping again this weekend, but in an actual store this time. I’ve gotten very reliant on purchasing things online this last year, but I’m remembering now that the products I purchase make me much happier if I see them before whipping out the credit card.

Coffee creamer

I know this one seems odd…. Many moons ago I took creamer out of my diet. I have a lot of trouble with dairy, and a lot of shelf stable creamers use coconut, which I’m terribly allergic to. I’d stopped looking at the back of bottles because I’d inevitably be disappointed. Miayah and I took a little day trip recently and stopped at Buccee’s, and she happened to pick up a bottle of refrigerated creamer. She called me over and was like - I think you can drink this! I looked it over and it turns out it’s non-dairy, refrigerated, and doesn’t contain coconut!!!! I’m so delighted. The first flavor I got was peppermint mocha, and I’m absolutely in love. It’s such a fun variation to my morning coffee that I haven’t gotten to indulge in in nearly a decade.

Permission from professionals to look for different options

My job has been driving me nuts lately and I know all jobs do, but I’ve been feeling really trapped. This last year I had a lot of difficulties with insurance and it made me scared to move to a new job and have to start all over with a new insurance plan. I’d have to transition into a new company where there’s a possible lapse in benefits. I have medication that is extraordinarily expensive without insurance, so I feel like I have no options in changing jobs and that’s weirdly overwhelming and I feel so trapped. I went to my psychiatrist recently and expressed my concerns. He immediately said, “Don’t worry about that at all, don’t even consider it. You are free to change jobs and get into something that makes you happier, and we’ll figure out the medication with no problems.” It was so FREEING. He’s always been such a supportive guy, and it’s a relief to know that I have my medical professional at my back.

Rereading 1Q84

I’m finally reading again! My attention span has gotten shorter and shorter this last year. Everything felt too hard to pay attention to; reading was one of the first long form things that went away. Movies left next - I could only do episodes of a show, short form articles (not even these sometimes!), and TikToks. This month tho - I’m reading! I’ve chosen one of my favorite books to re-read: 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami. Murakami is definitely one of my top authors, despite his sometimes problematic language. The sense of melancholy he evokes is really great.

Yerba Mateo and Earl Greyson

Lastly: the new birb babies! If you’ve seen our Instagram recently we’ve posted photos of our two newest feathered loves. They’re starting to get along and it’s making us very happy. There’s always a concern when you introduce a new pet into the family that they all won’t get along but so far so good!

With all these lovely things in my life it’s no wonder that I’ve been in a great mood lately. 

What’s putting you in a good mood? What makes life even sweeter today?