#absolutely typical that my first ever fanfic would be for this fandom
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I’ve never written a fic before and it’s been a good long while since I’ve written any narrative prose but insomnia and brainrot are a helluva combo, so here’s 1.5k words of disgustingly fluffy-slight hurt/comfort-McDonald/Stanley-survive AU for anyone interested. Maybe I’ll post on ao3 eventually but I’ve never done that before so I’m not sure yet.
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Be the Blanket for My Bones
(CW: slightly suggestive but nothing explicit. Nudity? Discusses past injuries, past canonical suicide attempt, scars, some internalized ableism)
Stephen slips out of sleep and into a hazy awareness. The sunlight shining through the window pricks at his eyelids, the curtains left open in their haste the previous night. He shivers slightly, his skin bared without even a sheet to cover him. But a familiar warmth emanates from the other side of the bed.
He senses the weight and heat of Alexander’s body, motionless save for the slight rise and fall of the mattress as he breathes.
Stephen chances a cracking open of one eye, too tempted by the promise of the sight of his love mussed in sleep. He is not disappointed.
With one arm tossed above his head and naked as the day he was born his lover resembles a sculpture of a Greek youth, like one might see scattered throughout one of the museums that Alexander often insists on dragging him to. (He would never say this aloud though, it’s far too sentimental and besides Alexander would scoff at the idea that he could still resemble anything close to a youth. And yet, he does).
And draped over his torso and legs is the evasive sheet they’re meant to be sharing. Since the very first time they shared a bed, Alexander has made it his habit to assert sole custody over any blanket, sheet, or covering they might have begun the night wrapped up in together. But Stephen doesn’t mind. While his partner still struggles to shake the cold of those long years in the ice, Stephen finds he prefers a slight chill to the possibility of being engulfed in a heat that reminds him of— well.
He is warmed now though. The sunlight that bathes his skin is gentle, caressing his skin with a heat so unlike the flames that had burned his skin that night when he fell headlong into the pit of his own despair.
The scarred patches of his skin feel tight as always, but there is no pain today.
He studies his lover for a moment, opening his other eye, but he doesn’t move yet. He doesn’t want to jostle the bed and disturb his slumbering Adonis.
Alexander’s thick hair is egregiously tousled as always, bits and pieces flopping over his forehead in a way that makes him look painfully young, despite the fact that both of them are closer to sixty now than they are to fifty. The sun glints off the edges of his hair, giving it a coppery sheen. A small purple bruise is illuminated on his shoulder, further evidence of the previous night’s passions.
The sheet hangs low enough that Stephen can see the rough line of scarring left by Mr. Hickey’s one act of heroism. It’s not a pretty scar; the stitches were hastily done by Mister— no, Doctor Goodsir (Stephen had promised he would at least try, for Alexander’s sake he will always try), who had done his best considering the circumstances.
But Stephen can’t even bring himself to criticize the amateurish stitching like he usually would. It’s existence means that Alexander had survived, that Alexander is still here beside him, and that they had escaped their frozen hell together.
Before he even realizes what he’s doing, Stephen brushes the top of the scar lightly with just the back of his hand. He holds his breath as Alexander shifts slightly, curling in towards the touch. But his eyes remain closed, still asleep. Stephen slowly follows the raised line down with the tip of his index finger, tracing this lifeline that tethers the soul he holds most dear to this wretched earth, to his own wretched soul.
Suddenly the back his neck prickles with the feeling that he is being watched. He shifts his gaze up and meets Alex’s open eyes, hazy with sleep but sparkling slightly with amusement.
“Reminiscing?”
Stephen masks his embarrassment at having been caught with a slight shrug, going to withdraw his hand. But before he can make his retreat, Alex catches his wrist with a gentle but firm grasp. He lays Stephen’s whole hand back on the scar, his flat palm spanning almost the whole length of the mark.
“I didn’t say that I minded,” he murmurs.
Alex doesn’t remove his hand entirely, but he loosens his grip as he begins his own exploration where his fingers circle Stephen’s wrist.
The flames had licked up almost the whole of his right arm, as well as the right side of his neck and face. The skin there is shiny pink and twisted, healed now forever marred. It was only the quick thinking and action of Mister Collins and Mister Bridgens that had saved him. (In tackling him to the ground and dousing him completely with snow, the second master and steward had come away with scorched fingers and singed hair for their troubles. Stephen considers that a fair price all things considered. Stephen has chosen to be thankful rather than resentful. He has found gratitude to be an easier pill to swallow than forgiveness).
Their actions, along with Hickey’s, had miraculously spared the rest of the crew of any serious casualties, except of course, for Alexander. (That is one area where Stephen may never be able to forgive himself, even though Alexander has never said a word to condemn him).
Alex’s fingers trace the swirls of scar tissue that spider up from Stephen’s wrist. The sensation is slightly dulled but pleasant. Like the man himself, Alexander’s hands are always perfectly warm, everything about him designed to put people at ease.
Stephen’s eyes slip shut under his lover’s ministrations. He feels the thump of Alex’s beating heart under his palm, the gentle rhythm combined with the sun’s warmth lulling him back into a daze of near-sleep.
His reverie is broken suddenly when Alex speaks., “You are so beautiful.”
Stephen's eyes snap open. He tries to mask the despair by letting out a scoff he hopes comes across as disbelieving. He curls the hand on Alexander’s chest into a fist, attempting to push himself away but his lover refuses to release him.
“I mean it, Stephen. I wish I could draw you like this, show you how you look through my eyes. Then you would see all that I see.”
“I can see my scars well enough in the looking glass, Alexander. I know full well what I look like.” Stephen sighs, but there is no bite to his words as the only feeling he can muster is tired resignation.
Alex moves suddenly towards the middle of the bed, rolling over onto his front so that the line of his body is pressed against Stephen’s. The sheet twisted about his legs is only barrier between their skin. He runs his left hand over the cratered landscape of Stephen’s right side, insistent and soothing in equal measure.
Despite himself, Stephen feels the tension go out of him as his body can’t help but relax under Alex’s loving touch.
“Beautiful. You look beautiful. How could this body be anything but perfect to me? Yes, even— no, especially, these scars. They show me that you survived, my darling, that you’ve healed.”
Stephen shudders out an exhale, unsteadied by his love’s words. No tears come to his eyes, of course, he probably couldn’t cry even if he tried. But the strength of Alex’s devotion still surprises him even after years of relentless affection.
Stephen unfurls his hand and slides it up Alex’s chest, over the bite mark on his shoulder, up his neck, and into the thick warmth of his lover’s hair, leaning in to kiss lips still soft with sleep. It is a chaste kiss, but he pours as much affection and burning gratitude into it as he can. Even if he still can’t quite accept the words to be true for himself, he wants Alex to know that he treasures them. He pulls back slightly to look at his love, finding all his feelings reflected back in warm hazel eyes, so unlike his own icy blue ones.
He glances down between them at Alexander’s scar and before he can hesitate, dips his head down to press a kiss there too. Alexander inhales sharply, a small gasp escaping his lips. It is not one of pain, though, so Stephen does not pull away, pressing a line of kisses along this closed seam.
Alexander’s hand comes to rest on the nape of Stephen’s neck, his fingers gently carding through the sparse hair at the back of his head. With each small kiss he tries to pour out the thoughts in his mind: This scar is beautiful to me too. You are beautiful to me. I’m so happy you are here with me. I’m so happy you’re alive.
When Stephen pulls back and looks at Alexander’s face again, there is a slight sheen in his eyes and a dimpled grin spreading across his mouth. Crow’s feet crinkling in the way that he adores.
“I do love you so, Doctor Stanley.”
Stephen leans in and folds himself into Alexander’s arms, their bodies wrapping around each other until they’re as close as two people can be without climbing totally inside one another.
He feels Alexander’s breath blow across the side of his neck and burrows his face deeper into the sweet sleep touched smell of his skin, resting his head in the divot of his shoulder.
“And I you, Doctor McDonald.”
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Endnotes:
If you read this far, thank you! I’d love to hear your thoughts :)
Title is from “Slip Into Your Skin” by Patrick Watson
#the terror#the terror amc#terror fic#alexander mcdonald#stephen stanley#mcstan#alexander mcdonald/stephen stanley#these coldboys are ruining my life#i saw a gif of alistair petrie shirtless in a bed and this happened idk#absolutely typical that my first ever fanfic would be for this fandom#the voices: fic
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Heyy! I am such a fan of your work in the Tomarry fandom, and I don’t want to sound intrusive, but I’m just wondering if you ever shared your history with the ship. You said before that you were a huge Snarry fan, so how did you transition from that to this? (Hehe, maybe I’m getting it wrong like you were always a fan of both since then, my apologies if ever. I don’t know if I’m assuming you’re no longer a Snarry fan.) And what made you write fanfic of them? How did you come up with such unique and great storylines? I wonder if you got inspired from someone or something because damn, the way you tell your stories is just my perfect cup of tea. And I can see you enjoy it! Really great.
Hi! Thank you so much for your sweet words <3 You are absolutely right, I used to be a Snarry shipper. I can't say I'm indifferent to this ship now, but the years where I gulped down all kinds of fics featuring them have passed. The passion isn't there any longer.
How I stumbled upon Tomarry: some months before publishing the first chapter of WHGTB, I was re-reading a Snarry fic called The Marriage Stone. Snape is not nearly the bastard I prefer him to be there, but I liked the world-building a lot, so I enjoyed reading it. There is a small arc there where Lucius Malfoy is attracted to Harry, and I found myself fascinated by it. It occured to me that it might be interesting to try the fics centered on Harry and Lucius - I was never a fan of the latter, he's overly pompous and a coward, but I wanted to find something where Lucius would be dark, regal, and a force to be reckoned with. Unfortunately, the fics I read didn't appeal to me, so I started wondering what other dark, regal character to pair Harry with. I was in the mood for something darker than I typically found in Snarry.
And that's how I thought of Tomarry. In retrospect, it's amazing that I hadn't found them sooner. I always liked the parallels between Harry, Tom, and Severus, and since I thought Harry and Snape might make a potentially great couple, I don't know why I never considered Tom and Harry in the same context until years into shipping Snarry.
I tried some Tomarry fics, and ohh, I fell head over heels. I could no longer go back to my other HP ships, it was like my most perfect drug.
I'm so flattered that you referred to my stories as unique because I actually really hesitated about publishing WHGTB. I knew I would write this story, but the fandom has so many Harry-raising-Tom fics that I thought people are already bored to death with it, so it'd be something I'd create just for myself. Needless to say, the response to it shocked me.
I consider WHGTB and ATLWETD very plain in terms of plot uniqueness - they are just my takes on 'Harry raises Tom' and 'Harry studied with Tom' tropes. To me, stories like Consuming Shadows and Train to Nowhere are unique, while I'm doing the maximum relationship, minimum plot thing. That's what I prefer as a writer, and I love it - knowing other people enjoy it just as much never fails to make me incredibly happy.
As for why I decided to write these fics at all - to be honest, I can never tell how these things work. For example, despite my intense love for Snarry and the years I spent dedicated to this ship, I never wanted to write about them. Same goes for my other fandoms. I can be absolutely insane about a ship, I can love the characters and the universe they come from to death, but the need and desire to write something can be lacking. With Tomarry, I wanted to write about them immediately.
I can't say I got inspired by anything except for a general Tomarry vibe. I think a couple of fics I read might have had an impact on me in terms of some ideas, especially Fate's Favorite since I read it an absurd amount of times, but there is nothing specific I would point out as my source of inspiration. Just a ship itself.
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So i don't really know much about your fandoms or interests so... idk, would you mind giving me the rundown maybe? Like a little description about the games you like, or some info about your different comics? I want to chat more with you but I'm not sure where to start since I'm not familiar with your fandoms
Haha, that makes sense, my Fandoms can be considered a little niche.
First off, I'm super glad to finally meet you, lol. I've sorta been watching you and Pringles from afar, and you two seem like good friends.
But yeah, I'll happily give you a rundown, thanks for asking ^^
Pathologic/Мор: Утопия is a Russian videogame developed by Icepick Lodge. You play as one of three healers in a bo-hum steppe town, and your goal is to try and save the population from the outbreaking plague. The game has a lot of heavy theatrical influences and is well known for being extremely difficult and cruel. Which means the writing is perfectly catered to my tragedy-loving gay-theater-kid ass.
Karamora/Карамора is a show I got into a while ago. Basically, it's a fictional retelling of the Russian revolution (one of my special interests, lmao), except all the nobles are vampires. It's dumb but it's unironically so well made. Plus it has that twinky ginger guy, Evgeny Schwartz, in it. This show is also what got me on the Russian media pipeline to begin with XD
Lost Splendor was a memoir written by Felix Yusupov (aka the guy who killed rasputin, aka an important figure in the Russian revolution), and it's just incredibly funny for no reason. Man killed Rasputin, but all he could think to write about was how gay and ADHD he was.
Comics. I'm just very normal about them. I have a collection of around 80 different comics, single issues and graphic novels included. My favorites are queer and indie graphic novels, but im also a huge sucker for some of the classics like V for Vendetta. I have yet to purchase The Sandman comics, but they're on my list.
As for webcomics, I'm addicted to those too. I'm probably the biggest fan 5-ever of The Peculiar Compendium of Victor Van Wolfe on webtoons, and I've written a few fanfics and made fanart aplenty, as well as made custom stuffies of the characters. But I have a wide list of recommendations across a lot if genres XD
As for comics that IVE written, I currently have two open to the public on webtoons and tapas.
The first is Spaceships and Vodka, which is my primary comic. It's an anachronistic sci-fi surrounding a band of space pirates. It's a monster of the week style story with a lot of extra narrative told through backstories. It's currently still in the exposition stage and on hiatus.
The other is Gentle Hands, which is technically an AU of S&V. It's a gay romance following a disabled WWI soldier in a shellshock home and one of the nurses he has a crush on. This one is, alas, also still in the exposition stage, but is currently updating one page every other week.
As for like individual OCs, I mostly obsess over my comic characters. I don't typically make Fandom OCs.
My absolute pride and joy is Craig. He's also the fan favorite thus far.
I don't even know where to begin with him.
I have a bio for him and some other OCs I think, but I have yet to actually fill out any more >>_>> executive dysfunction my beloathed.
The full main cast list includes
Craig
Mirium
Derick
Terric
Carl
As well as Erasmus, Rusty, Cipher, Jadyn, and Jesper as some other extras.
So long as I'm here I may as well finish all the bios and make a master post lol...
#мор утопия#pathologic#karamora#карамора#lost splendor#felix yusupov#spaceships and vodka#leonardo eats carrots#craig davidson#Mirium hussain#webcomic#comic#webtoons#tapas#oc#oc post#oc tag#asks#asks open#send asks
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Comet, I've been thinking about fanfiction lately. I don't read much of it these days like I want, but sometimes I'll scroll through fandoms I'm interested in on AO3 or I'll see something of a fanfic somewhere and check it out- And the latter is why I'm making this ask I saw a really cool artwork that i learned was based on a fanfic on AO3. And in my head, I was like "wow, this must be a really good fanfic!" And it 100% is! I checked it out on AO3 and for the first time in FOREVER, I've subscribed to get notified when it updates. But, I gotta be honest, it's a little on the twisted side, this fanfic. There are themes that could be considered taboo (i think that's the right word) but the author writes it so incredibly well! And these are typically topics I'd never touch/pick up/read. After being completely caught up I had to take a few moments to question my life because it was just that good. Then I proceeded to tell myself "this is good. need more." So all of that mumbo jumbo comes down to this final question: have you ever read a fic (doesn't have to be named and can be from any fandom) that was pretty fucked up (topic or otherwise related things) but one you still enjoyed/looked forward to reading because it was written/portrayed well, or some other secret option? Thanks for listening to my rambling as always, and I hope you're doing well, love youuuu <3333
I absolutely have! I've also written things that I've been like "this feels questionable" but I knew it was what needed to happen. I've also read entire published books that I felt that way about. It's one of my favorite things about being a reader (and a writer). You get to explore something you never thought you would. And you don't have to agree or even enjoy the topic--but it can still be really compelling. I also am a person who will read anything so as long as it is well written and is compelling enough--I am fully in.
But you are talking to the person who just read an entire (non-fiction) book about cannibalism. I enjoy the weird and taboo and the uncomfortable. So......I also might not be the best judge, haha. But I do think that this is a pretty standard--and healthy thing. Like, you're open to it even if it's not something you usually go for--and I feel like that's a good thing, especially when it comes to reading fiction (because real world morality should not be applied to fiction as a general rule). Regardless of all of that, I'm glad you found something that hooked you and that it got you out of your comfort zones (in a good way). I hope you get to read lots more of it soon ♥.
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New Fanfiction: Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress
Did you ever wonder what might have happened if Ikoma hadn't gotten back on the Koutetsujou after he was thrown off? Are you interested in a Robinson Crusoe AU starring our favorite green-haired mad engineer? Have you often wondered how Ikoma would have learned about the new abilities and requirements of his kabaneri body without Mumei's guidance? Then, my friend, this is absolutely the fanfiction for you! Presenting...
Phoenix From The Ashes
I describe this as my most self-indulgent fanfic out of all my self-indulgent fanfics. All my Koutetsujou no Kabaneri projects are self-indulgent, but this one especially is! It features the first KOTIF oc I ever made, and the only one who became a character in her own right rather than just semi-headcanoned supporting cast like everything else I write. She's my baby (grown woman) and I hope I did her justice.
Now, if a prominent, non-love-interest OC hasn't turned you away, let me get into the nitty-gritty details I'm sure you need:
Phoenix From the Ashes (5073 words) by ValentineRose529 Chapters: 2/5 Fandom: 甲鉄城のカバネリ | Koutetsujou no Kabaneri | Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress (Anime) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Ikoma & Kajika & Takumi (Koutetsujou no Kabaneri), Ikoma & Original Character(s) (Koutetsujou no Kabaneri) Characters: Ikoma (Koutetsujou no Kabaneri), Original Female Character(s) Additional Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Canon-Typical Discussions of Suicide, Blood, Canon-Typical Blood Drinking, Angst with a Happy Ending, Aragane Station (Koutetsujou no Kabaneri), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Takumi Lives (Koutetsujou no Kabaneri), Inspired by Robinson Crusoe, Post-Zombie Infection, Infected Survivor, Beta Read Summary: “Grab on, Ikoma!” Takumi yelled, throwing a cable from the back of the last car. But Ikoma only curled into a ball, every wound alight with agony, and wept into his hands. The end of the cable bounced past him, before the hayajiro’s departure dragged it away. Takumi reached over the railing, shouting, as men dragged him back. No girl in pink jumped out to drag him unwillingly aboard; not one of Takumi’s cries seemed to pierce Ikoma’s sobs, or perhaps he was already beyond hearing. The Koutetsujou chugged out of the railyard, leaving behind its final savior in the burning wreckage of his home. And on the far side of town, one other heart still stubbornly beat in survival. ────── Against all odds, Ikoma doesn’t stay down. When Aragane Station falls, so does he, but he picks himself up from the rubble and keeps moving out of sheer determination.
The Update Schedule: this fanfiction is fully written, and will post daily every day this week until it is complete!
And of course, an eternal thanks to my beta reader, @eldritchpiper, who agreed to beta read for me despite not being in the KOTIF fandom! She deserves all the love ever, and also more cat pictures.
#koutetsujou no kabaneri#kabaneri of the iron fortress#kabaneri fanfiction#val writes#my writing#my fanfiction#fanfiction update#val's fanfiction
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Get to Know Your Fanfic Writer Cross Stitch Stitcher
Thank you for the tags @lemonlyman-dotcom and @ladytessa74!!!
I will do my best to adapt this to cross stitch 😂
When did you post your first ever fanfic cross stitch?
I did some Schitt's Creek cross stitch projects back in 2020/2021, and I think I posted a few of those on tumblr at the time, but I first started modifying and then fully making my own patterns for Lone Star back in April! For a solid 6 months, I've had at least one cross stitch project going at all times...and I've got the stitching callouses on my fingers to prove it!
First character(s) you wrote stitched for:
My first project, other than the Lone Star logo, was an Owen quote, so I guess I'd consider Owen the first!
Main character(s) you’re currently writing stitching for:
Unsurprisingly, the vast majority of my projects are either TK/Carlos quotes or something related to Tarlos. My current project is definitely a Tarlos one.
Character(s) you haven’t written stitched about before but plan on writing stitching about soon:
I have a couple future ideas for characters I haven't done projects related to yet...maybe a Gwyn quote, though it's about TK, so it would still kind of be a TK-related project ("You are surrounded by love"). I've also thought of doing a Judd/Grace related quote ("I wasn't even me 'til I met you"). But these probably won't be too soon because I have several projects in line ahead of them!
Fandom(s) you’re currently writing stitching for:
911 Lone Star
Platonic pairing(s) you currently write stitch for:
I did one for Carlos's "I was peckish and I wanted pudding" so I'd say that counts as Carlos & Paul!
Romantic pairing(s) you currently write stitch for:
So far I've done 7 that could be considered Tarlos (Is the Lizard Back?, Firefighters You Really Are A Smug Bunch, It Absolutely Wrecks People, Tarlos vows, Tarlos proposal, Typical TK, and We Make A Pretty Good Team) and the one I'm currently working on will make 8.
Your top 3 tags on AO3 (if you post your works on AO3):
I've never posted on AO3. I wonder if I should...
Your current platform where you post your works:
Just right here on tumblr.
Snippet of the wip you’re currently working on:
I finished the bricks yesterday! That means I have everything done except the words and the outlining. Here's a little peek of the table set for Carlos's dinner for one, featuring the tiny bit of outlining I've done so far along the edge of the rug:
I've been away from tumblr all day because I was at a play and hanging out with my aunt, so I have no idea who else has done this...I will leave this as an open tag!! 💜
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Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors
Tagged by @mosylufanfic
1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?
Daydreamed a LOT. hated writing. Made up stories in my brain, mostly about Digimon. then, was Chronically Unsupervised for a summer and found Fanfiction.net and went oh heck, I could do that? I could just. write one down??? people would maybe like it?? and then I Did That. at this point I had, you see, decided I Liked Writing Now. (active choice, the way I recently decided that I Like Celery.)
2. How many fandoms have you written in?
Uhhhh ok so there's Digimon (technically) and Fablehaven (again, only technically.) Big Hero 6 and then Flash, Young Justice, Supergirl, Stargirl, Avatar, the Librarians, Leverage, Blue Beetle(movie) My Adventures with Superman, Superman and Lois, Legends of Tomorrow, pokemon (game--sapphire) and Agents of Shield. And like. my various RPGs. but a lot of those are like.... just a couple dammit hedgi day ficlets so... shrug?
3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction? the first one I ever posted on the internet was in I want to say 2007. but the first one I guess I ever like. actively came up with was a little booklet about an oddish and a jigglypuff escaping team rocket (they were the only pokemon I could draw) and that was back in like. '99. it had aproximately ten words in it so that's more of a fan comic than fanfiction.
4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?
I write more than I read, I think, but I read more than I finish, excuding the month of september. DHD is an outleir adn should not be counted.
5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?
I can do action and fight scenes now!!!! Also I think I'm better at dialog. I used to be real bad at both those things.
6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?
hmmmmmmmmm. I mean. I feel like the deep diving into victorian flower language maybe? or like. How Trial By Combat worked in the Age Of Knights? How many calories a kitten with superspeed would need, perhaps. oh wait you know what, it's absolutely more obscure catholic patron saints, which I hardly even used in the fics i was researching them for, but man. did y'all know that St. Jude is also called Thaddeus and that he and St. Bartholomew are co-patron saints of Armenia? there's some kind of Barth Allen and Thaddeus Thawne Joke in there.
7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?
I really like the key smashy "how dare you." ones. also a big fan of the ones where people leave their favorite line and a string of emojis. I love anything that lets me guess how emotional a person got.
8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?
uhhhhh idk. metakitties?
9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?
Long fics that drastically diverge from canon or are big AUs... I run out of roadmap and then worry no one's really going to care. also, just. ship fic in general. So I do not. or I do so rarely and in smaller sections.
10. What is the easiest type?
present tense introspective fics. those just flow.
11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?
I mostly use google docs, and I also do a lot of hand writing in a notebook. usually sitting at my little computer desk on my bed, or in the back hall at work, and typically in the afternoon-evening.
12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?
ehhhhhhhh I'm not really like. intimidated by anything that I'm interested in doing? I'm just lazy. lol.
13. What made you choose your username?
Assigned Hedgehog by cubscouts when I was a counselor at a summer camp. It Stuck.
uhhh I tag @windona @pennflinn @wrencatte @thenarator and @parvumautomaton but no pressure but also anyone else who wants to do this.
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I've read some rezero crossover fanfics , but I really don't understand why some people like to impose the whole background and character traits of other characters on certain characters in Rezero, and some fics even directly stated that A in Rezero is in fact B from a certain work, which is very bizarre and disrespectful to both canon source material, it's like B is cosplaying A but is a completely different person on the inside, if you want to insert a character from other works into the rezero world why don't you just keep their original identity and characteristics? Personally, I really hate this type of rezero crossover fics tbh :///
anon i understand you so much hah.
i joined this fandom months before season 2 started airing, so i was there to see rz ao3 pick up and the fanfic scene in rz be more established—so seeing this trend in rz fic has always really confused me tbh?? 😅 and i dont personally like it either for the same reasons you stated. its just one of those rz fanfic tropes that i 1. am not very fond of and 2. am continuously confused by given these arent very fandom typical trends, theyre extremely rz fandom specific if that makes sense (the react fic trend… re:forgotten… etc)? and i dont often see crossovers treated like this in other fandoms, and rz in general seems to be a fandom that really enjoys fic because its kind of. astounding?? that theres a whole fanfic thread that gets continuously renewed on rz reddit and is almost always pinned right at the top of the page. its rare to get a fandom that very openly acknowledges its fic in this way i feel? but you know, you go on that fic thread and you see a lot of people suggesting crossover ideas that—as you said anon—tend to be very “rezero but character a is character b”?? its like such a commonplace thing that occasionally i just go through that thread out of curiosity and read it like you would a morning newspaper hah and you cant go more than a minute without seeing a crossover idea like that.
and if anyone else is seeing this and confused on what the hell that means, one example i see a lot is “rezero but subaru is guts from berserk” wkfndnd
i think subaru is the one this happens most to, just because various audiences have various relationships with subaru, mainly because there tends to be a habit of 1. using him as a self-insert and 2. thinking hes absolute hellspawn or the best most perfect person to ever exist with zero nuance, so the whole “person a is now person b in everything but name and looks” thing is so. telling. like sometimes when i see people talk about a character like subaru it always boggles my mind because its like?? do you… even like subaru as he is? and if youre warping rezero to be more like that other media youre crossing it over with, do you even like rezero either? anon saying “its like B is cosplaying A but is a completely different person in the inside” is exactly how it feels like?? T^T
and of course its not as if you cant write crossovers. i love seeing crossovers!! i read some crossovers myself and ive written a whole bunch of crossovers and i come up with all sorts of ideas. its super fun to do and i completely get it. but the “person a is person b” thing is odd to me because at the heart of it, it feels like it basically means “*insert character* but theyre not actually themselves”. and of course its not like you cant make AUs where things are changed from canon, or AUs where the character grows and changes in general even if its different from canon. but theres a difference between “im gonna put this character through shenanigans and see how they change as a person but theyre ultimately still the same deep down and im examining how theyd most likely realistically act in this situation if this happened to them” vs “im gonna change the entire point of this character until theyre only recognizable in name”. i feel like it completely misses exactly what makes these characters and stories so good in the first place.
also side note: headcanons are a whole different thing because thats just “i have specific ideas about how this character is like” and is usually fine unless youre being pushy about it or condemning others for having (innocent!!) hcs you dont agree with wkdndn
and okay, i also get it if people have issues with how characters or media are written and want to change it. i myself have issues sometimes with how tappei handles rezero, but i still like rezero and so many of its characters. you can critique a media without trying to change what the heart of it is, and rezero for example is ultimately a story with a lot of heart to it and clear purpose behind so much of its writing. and its clear to see some things this crossover trend because so much of it is done with subaru. because it 1. misses the point of all of subarus nuances, complexities, the intent behind his character writing, and what makes him so good in the first place and 2. shows that people dont want him to actually be subaru. they want him to be someone else, which is ironically a plot point that comes up again and again in rezero wkdndnd. its interesting that it comes up so much in rezero too, because i feel like its in part most likely commentary on how audiences react to subaru and often try to change him to fit what they want.
but yeah thats just my thoughts on this whole crossover trend in general 👍👍
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who is your fav fav character from bleach?
if you want you can separate answers for male/female or for shinigamies/arrancars/etc 🤲🤲🤲
meow 🐱 have a great day
Whipplefilter:
Hitsugaya! 😭🥰 He was my favorite when I first read Bleach ~15 years ago and he’s still my runaway favorite now, having come back to it in 2020. He’s who I think about every day, whether I’m spinning out fanfic scenes in my mind or lovingly returning to some microdetail in canon or just building out completely inert, ephemeral headcanons that have no intended use. He’s who I’ll go full Close Reading on—every bodily expression! Every linguistic tic! I want to know it! He’s a character about whom I feel so intensely that I feel like the only way I can convey that love with the fullness and specificity I’d like is to write him in fanfic, and even that is something I think is really, really hard. I’d say the impulse, "I want to write you" is peak love for me, but I guess really it’s "I have to write you," which is the peak atop the peak. I just really love him, I cry.
I think he has such an interesting way of perceiving the world and of understand who he is and where he’s placed in it. He has these really incisive reads of things while also simultaneously knowing absolutely nothing, and often knowing that he knows nothing. Like, he’s willing to accept the WIP of it all, but is really aggressive about doing the work. Narrating your fights is a typical convention of shounen, but I am so tickled by the fact that at multiple points an opponent issues a taunt or points out a weakness and he’ll just be like, "Yes" and go on to explain in detail where he thinks there’s room for improvement. I find this completely bananas but also very endearing. He manages to be very forthright and straightforward and the squarest person alive while also constantly doing or saying things that are inscrutable and/or outright arcane. This doesn’t even get into the other 119 things I Think Are Core to Hitsugaya, which is why I feel like I can’t actually tell, I need to show. It also feels very personal, so I get self-conscious and shy about it/worried that I am going to overburden everyone around me with the magnitude of my blorbo feels, even though this is literally what fandom and Tumblr are putatively for.
After Hitsugaya, my favorites are Byakuya, Renji, Rukia, Matsumoto, and Hinamori; they move around in terms of in what order they appear. Then Hisagi, Akon, and Mayuri. Thennnn probably like… Ashisogi Jizou (Zanpakutou Rebellion Arc) and Sasakibe. I’ve probably made some horrible erroneous omission here and there are characters that outrank Ashisogi Jizou and Sasakibe but this is what my heart is saying right now.
ippoddity:
One time I tried to make a list of my favorite Bleach characters, and then I realized that it was impossible to make a tiered list. So then I tried to make a mind map thing of my favorite characters and it was so sprawling and ever-changing that I had to scrap the whole thing. If I had to choose some favs that are consistently at the top of the heap, I think I would have to go with Aizen and Renji. Aizen has long been my fav, ever since my first go-around with the series years and years ago. I think he’s probably one of the best manga/anime characters of all time. The deception! The motivations! The power! But also, the fallibility and the loneliness 🥲. Renji because who doesn’t like an underdog story? Renji is one of the first characters to bring humanity to the shinigami, because he shows that they are more than just their military training, they have regrets, and the capacity to love. Plus, he just looks really cool.
Other favorites which I am incapable of ranking: Hisagi, Byakuya, Ishida. And then the next batch includes Akon, Mayuri, Matsumoto, Ukitake, Ichigo. These groupings have very permeable membranes, and characters move in and out of them all the time. If you asked me in a month who my favorite characters are, I would probably give you a different answer lol.
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Inspired by @waitmyturtles and @nieves-de-sugui, sharing my journey through BL! Putting this under a read more because I really found a lot of words on this topic. Feel free to skim at will - now that you got me going I have a lot to say!
First, a bit of background. Three big interests of mine really converged to make BL kind of a perfect storm for me:
Romance: I have been an avid consumer of romance stories as far as back as I can remember. When I was a kid I would read several books a week and before I even hit my tween years I always gravitated to the romance genre. Add in film and television and it's safe to say I haven't gone a week of my life without consuming some form of a story about two people falling in love. It is absolutely my shit.
Asian dramas: More recent but no less intense an obsession for me. I watched my first kdrama in 2019 - my favorite gossip blogger (shoutout to Lainey) was constantly posting about a drama on Netflix (It's Okay Not to Be Okay). So I decided to try it out and I instantly fell in love. Kdramas are written nearly exclusively by women, they respect romance as a genre, and they cater to female audiences. It was unlike anything I ever experienced watching Western media. I started watching them more frequently, then when the pandemic hit I found myself with a ton of time at home and a fun new focus issue, and watching dramas with subtitles was a huge help.
Fandom: Since I was a teen I was always kind of hopping in and around internet fandom. When I like something, I like to enjoy it with others and find community around shared interests. And when I'm frustrated with media, I really like to dig into that and explore ways to fix it, so I became an avid fanfic reader, as well. Fandom to fandom my level of involvement varied - sometimes I just lurk around fandom spaces, sometimes I actually develop a presence, and in one instance I even got deeply involved in a fandom community to the point where I was posting meta, writing fic, and leading fan activities.
ANYWAY, after that long preamble, I come to the point: Because I was so into kdramas, and had watched/read a lot of Western QL romances, when I saw Where Your Eyes Linger pop up on my Viki recommendations I clicked on it. I liked it, and immediately wanted to understand more about it, because it was the first kdrama I had ever seen with a same sex pairing, and the format was so different. So I did a bit of research, and that was the first time I ever heard of BL. I was a little mind blown - there's a whole genre of QL romances in Asia??? So of course I set out to find more. I did a general search and the first thing I found was 2gether. This was June of 2021, so it was already about a year following the initial frenzy of that show, but it was still hugely popular and there was fan content about it everywhere. So I journeyed to YouTube to watch it, and that was my introduction to Thai BL and the wider genre.
From there I started looking for guidance on what to watch, and because of my time in various fandoms tumblr was always a go-to place where I knew I could find other people watching whatever obscure thing I was into. I found @absolutebl quickly and started reading their history and analysis posts on the genre. That was when it really sunk in for me how much culture and history there was to dig into, and I was really intrigued by the different styles and industries of each country. So I started working my way through their lists of the top 10 BLs from each country and it all just kind of spiraled from there.
I will not go into detail about every show I watched, but a few highlights:
TharnType: This was the first high heat BL I ever saw, and because I came over from kdramas, the first high heat Asian show I had seen, period. This show is messy and the writing was a hilarious hodgepodge of strong character work alongside absurd plotting and what I came to learn was typical Mame problematic content, but the chemistry between the leads was off the charts. It really set the bar for me in that respect, and got me looking for other examples (which at that time were mostly from Taiwan).
Theory of Love: This one inspires mixed opinions in fandom, but for me it was the first time I realized a Thai BL could not only be fun, but also good (no disrespect to other early Thai BLs but... yeah lol). There was a coherent emotional narrative arc! Smart story structure! Believable character development and earned redemption! Good actors! This one set me on a path to find the good stuff.
I Told Sunset About You: Which led me to ITSAY, the drama that convinced me BL could also be high cinema and art. This show blew me way, honestly. And got me more interested in finding the other more cinematic entries in the genre, which I mostly found from Japan.
The Untamed: When I saw this one on the list for China, I was like wait why have I heard of that? The Untamed/Mo Dao Zu Shi is one of those fandoms that is so big and ubiquitous, anyone who spends time online will have heard of it long before they know what it actually is. This show opened up a bunch of new fixations for me - a new all-time fav character, an introduction to cdramas and the xianxia/wuxia genres, and the discovery of Chinese web novels. It's a very expansive universe with a lot going on outside the romance, unlike most BLs. Which I guess can be good or bad, depending on your perspective.
Bad Buddy + Semantic Error: These are the shows I credit for fully sucking me into the BL fandom on tumblr. Before BB aired, I was just kind of lurking about (it’s right there in the handle, fam) checking a few blogs periodically for recommendations and watching shows at my own pace. But BB and then SE caused such a frenzy that I decided to start watching them live and checking tumblr every week for reactions. I found more excellent blogs (like @bengiyo @negrowhat @laowen @liyazaki) that were posting not only BB and SE content but also commentary about other shows. Eventually I gave in and created a new tumblr account so I could actually follow them instead of going to their blogs on web browser like a weirdo, and my participation in fandom escalated predictably from there.
By early 2022 I had pretty much caught up on most of the history of the genre (though not everything - I refuse to watch Waterboyyy, I do have some standards) and developed a fairly solid understanding of the cultural context around it. I then started trying to keep up with new shows. As a cishet, it wasn’t the thrill of representation that drew me into the genre as much as the thrill of finding a genre that brought together so many of my favorite things, combined with the excitement of seeing the community grow and getting the chance to learn so much from the brilliant people who were watching these shows. Checking reactions to airing shows became a weekly habit, and my watchlist kept getting longer and longer. I learned about which platforms I should be watching on and where to direct my $$ to support the genre. And I heard about so many shows I never would have known existed without this community.
So that’s me! If you made it to the end of this post you are a true champion. Thanks for inviting the conversation @waitmyturtles - it was fun to reflect!
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Hay there B) I'm interested in the silly lil 🎃 :D
Fandom Supernatural, of course! Don't be afraid to pair me up with someone who doesn't get as much traction or isn't the main two (of course, if I don't get one of the main two). :)
I'm an avid enjoyer of everything spooky and scary and hunting would definitely be something I'd do if I were in the SPN universe. I feel the loner but necessary alliances type, but I wouldn't be one to get too attached unless I felt a serious spark. Not against working with the same individual more than once, either.
I personally like to imagine my own self-insert as some "earth angel" or spiritually in-tune young woman who can read auras, emotions, feel what one feels, etc etc. I'm what others would call an empath irl (not in the super trippy spiritual way if thats what you don't believe in), I'm just super compassionate and empathetic. I don't know if that part's important, but as rough and violent as I can be (when need be), I'm all for peace and tranquility within one another. I'd always try to solve any tension rather than make it worse. I keep quiet, reserved and to myself unless someone I care about is hurt and needs someone, or if someone tries to start bs with me. I was always that mother friend.
My anger and my envy I experience typically come from not really having a normal childhood even in real life. I never got to experience high school dances, dates, or hell even an irl high school to begin with. Just homeschooling, barely even any real irl friends or social cues. I envy everyone who gets anything and everything they've ever wanted.
My taste in overall men (and women) can be kind of unstable. I'll love the hero, but I'll also fall hard for the villain. My red flag is I think I can ease the villain's heart. No matter how clingy, or obsessive, or dickish they are. I'm also kind of obsessed (shhhh don't tell anyone...)
My hair is long, wavy and dirty blonde. My eyes are kind of sad, down turned like Blue Diamond's from SU. I like to dress in many different styles, if I'm feeling it but typically I go for something simple. Long, flowy skirts, blazers, t-shirts, flannels. If I'm feeling nice, a pretty white dress with pearl headbands. Or I'll try to look like a school girl coming home from a long, tiring day from dealing with her bitchy teachers and even bitchier classmates. Either light or dark, it depends on the mood. I'm also Christian.
I'm obsessed with true crime, demonology, mythology, and other spooky stuffs. I also enjoy writing, reading fanfics/novels, the occasional sketching and drawing, and I also wanna look into making custom dolls. I've looked into white magic before, attempted it a few times in the past. I'm a huge music fanatic, all genres (yes, even country...), but I typically listen to shoegaze, noise, metal, rock, and goregrind. Anything with screaming, distorted vocals, distorted/soft guitar, or no vocals at all, basically. (Examples being Duster, Deftones, Ghostemane, Giles Corey, Have A Nice Life, In This Moment, Birthday Massacre, etc)
I'm into some pretty dark shows and movies. I'm not in many fandoms, I don't see my own SPN self in many either, but I've seen a fair share of fucked up films. A Serbian Film, Dog Tooth, Lolita, The Handmaid's Tale (mainly the show), Miss Violence -- I watch them for comfort from my own trauma, and I see myself doing the exact same thing in SPN. My twisted past with ex boyfriends and abusive family members are probably what's gotten me head over heels, reeling over villainous characters that could snap me in half if they wanted.
I just want to be loved.
Anyways, I hope that's enough for you! I kind of overshared, but I hope it's alright! TL;DR I just want someone, anyone to love me for who I am and enjoy some of my hobbies. Take all the time you need, I understand your box might be full as hell.
first of all i love you so much and you absolutely deserve to be loved and worshipped because you’re beautiful and worthy of love and acceptance and care <3 (if you ever want to talk more my inbox is always open)
with that being said:
i ship you with cas :)
i know you said to not be shy to ship you with someone who isn’t the orig/main few, but i got heavy castiel vibes from you <3333
i think that he’s be drawn into your quiet but badass energy. how you want to diffuse traumas or tension before it even happens, but he also sees you on hunts as such a badass demon killing person. he also finds it fascinating how empathetic you are.
he loves all of your hobbies and often will sit next to you while you write or read. when you mention custom dolls he will freak out and absolutely ADORES watching the process.
he thinks you’re gorgeous. your blue eyes match his and your hair mesmerized him.
i also think that you guys can bond over traumas. while you have childhood based and family/ex-lover trauma, castiel definitely holds some trauma in thinking he’s not good enough or things from the other angels in heaven.
you guys balance eachother out. you teach him so much and you guys have the cutest little dates, the type to be up until 4am having deep conversations.
castiel also isn’t a rat and you deserve someone who isn’t a rat <33
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Just wanna drip by and say Incendiary has made itself a permanent resident in my brain.
Your writing is absolutely amazing, every scene got me gripping my seat in excitement. Seeing someone write a Pyro-focused long fic, let alone texas toast is so so so rare, I think I've only read 3 (including incendiary) that I've liked so far.
I love this little fire guy with all my heart, and I absolutely adore how you didn't make him too much like a child like how many mischaracterize him. There's the childlike wonder in him but he is capable when push comes to shove and I like that a lot! Every single characterizations in this fic is wonderful, I would love to give Engie a little kiss on his bald head.. he's so adorable.
I'm probably rambling but I just love this fic so much. I'm dealing with semester's midterms, stressed as all hell and this fic has been keeping me going. I practically cheered when I saw chapter 10 update in my inbox lmao. I would love to maybe make some fanart when I have the time, should I just tag you on this site?
Thank you so much for writing Incendiary dude, no kidding when I say it changed my life. I can't wait for the story to unfold! Please take care of yourself and rest well. Good luck on the job hunting as well!!
Omg stranger whoever you are, I just about teared up seeing this in my Inbox -
This is the most grandest, heartfelt comment I think I've ever received in my entire writing career and my heart is GUSHING rn!!!! I was literally out running errands when I saw this and I couldn't stop thinking about it -
When I joined the TF2 fandom in like... oh god, 2014 I think, I was really shocked to see throughout the years that there weren't many Pyro-centered stories out there, which blew my mind. Like how could there not be a deluge of fanfic for Pyro, who is this extremely mysterious, multi-faceted character with so much room for interpretation?! When I first watched Meet the Pyro, I KNEW I had to write a novel about Pyro. Who they are, where they came from, and what happened to them before the events of the gravel war. Massively inspired, of course. But still nonetheless, an origin story that could very well be canon if squinted at, hehe.
This rings true for texas toast content, too!! There isn't a whole lot of it out there and it makes me so sad - I love their dynamic so much! When Incendiary is finished, I do plan on writing some more texas toast oneshots on my AO3 to fill that void. <3 One of the plans is to write a short story about their relationship during the gravel wars as well, that takes place after the events of Incendiary. (plus, Incendiary has only just started to crack the surface tension of the slow burn, and it's only a matter of 1-2 chapters away from when the texas toast really starts showing through so there is that to look forward too as well. (。˃ ᵕ ˂ ))
also I literally hollered when I read your comment about Pyro's characterization in this story especially, because THAT is THE ONE THING I have been working so incredibly hard towards holy shit - when I tell you the amount of stories I've read that writes them off as this danger-child that needs supervision - which don't get me wrong is not an entirely bad thing!! they do have this massive childlike side to them, but there is also so much more to them than how the fandom perceives them, not taking into much consideration how they typically canonically act in the comics/in-game, and taking into LARGE consideration Meet the Pyro. I was reeling when I realized that a lot of people seemed to completely forget about that interview. I could go on a whole rant about this sdfghjkl but yes, Pyro is definitely more than capable when push comes to shove! they are in a war, after all ;)
and engineer, oh man. I love that soft Texan so much. :') I could talk your ear off about him too!
man I am definitely rambling now, but I literally cannot even express how genuinely happy I am receiving this message, it means the actual world to me. and FANART?!?! oh my god YES - you can definitely tag me here if you do make fanart for Incendiary!! I would be BEYOND honored omg
Thank you so so much for brightening my entire year with this feedback literally - I'm so honored to have you here as a reader and a fan. <3 And I'm sending you all of the luck with your midterms!! You've got this!!
#also little fun fact about this story#It never actually started off as the novel I intended to write about pyro GASP#It was meant to be a bunch of texas toast oneshots#one in particular was going to be about Pyro working alongside engineer in his workshop#and how they created their own flamethrower that they canonically use in-game#but when I started expanding the plot around that#well that quickly spiraled out of control lol#and just very briefly on the topic of characterizations I will say#roswell is by far my favorite villain I've written#I took a lot of inspiration from strickland from the movie 'the shape of water'#that guy has got INTIMIDATION tactic on lock#chapter 12 will delve more in depth about director Roswell as a person and his goals and intentions and reasonings and all of that#and so you'll see why he does the things he does soon enough :)#also tysm again for dropping this comment I will literally gush over this for WEEKS
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I JUST realized why, for the first time in forever, I'm SO engaged with writing a fanfiction and posting it as I go, and why I keep rereading and rereading and rereading the amazing comments and tags.
The last longform fanfic I wrote was in 2015, and it was To a Stranger. I've written some loosely connected drabbles based on Alice Rovai's beautiful art since, but in terms of fanfic, that's all I've done in 8 years.
I used to write and post fanfic constantly. I'd been creating, and posting, and sharing in all sorts of fandoms and communities pretty much continuosly since 1991.
What changed?
Well I became a professionally represented writer. I had a literary agent, I had contract deals, and I had deadlines. And don't get me wrong, I LOVE IT. It's fantastic to be able to write and share my original stories with the world.
But it meant that all of my creative brain and time was taken up with original stories instead of fanfic. And I was fine with that, I was getting to create. I wrote stories, and people reviewed them well, and my editor and my publishers adored them.
But my relationship with my literary agent began to break down pretty swiftly, and I spent a lot of time being talked over, ignored, misunderstood, and misinterpreted as a result.
I pitched a bunch of books she didn't want, and wrote a few others that she didn't understand or know how to sell. Some are still just rotting on my hard drive to this day. We parted ways in 2020. In order to query for a new agent, I began work on a novel that I've been thinking of for at least a decade.
It took me 2 years to write that book, and I've been querying it for a year. I've had over 130 rejections at this point, because it is a difficult, weird book with a tone that purposely doesn't match the themes, and it is absolutely on the too-long side of market wordcount preference.
I understood that this would be a hard slog when I decided to use a book like this to query. I knew that finding a new literary agent would not be easy, and that going out into the world with probably one of the hardest books I've ever written would not lead to a quick and easy new professional relationship.
But goddamn does it feel awful to spend half a decade being told no. It is not doing good things for my mental health or my confidence as a creator.
My beta readers love the book. But besides those three people, I have heard nothing but negative things about my writing for YEARS.
Which as you can imagine does not inspire me to sit down and try to write anything new. I probably should let this book rest. I should be putting it in a drawer and moving on to the next novel, trying to write something a little more palatable, and going out on query with that. But I just don't have the heart to create something new, AGAIN, knowing that it's probably just going to tip into that same black hole of non-response, misunderstanding or indifference that's swallowed up the last handful of projects I've worked on.
And then I thought, maybe it's time to write something for fun again.
I was struck with a cracky idea for a fanfic (though in typical J.M. Frey style I seem determined to make my readers cry) and I decided to try writing it.
Normally I would write the whole story and then post it when it was finished. But I am genuinely afraid that if I started it that way, if I didn't talk about it publicly and nobody knew I was doing it, my interest would fizzle out and my ennui about creating would take over and it abandon it. (The same way I have the last two novels I tried to start in the past few months.)
So I did the thing that I have been terrified to do since I first became a professional writer: I've started posting the fic AS I write it.
And holy crap am I inspired to continue. It's a shame that my day job is in the way because I just want to sit and write and write and write and write and write.
This hasn't happened to me in YEARS.
And it's because of you people.
It's because, for the first time and half a decade, people are saying nice things about my writing. People are responding positively to my stories. And I didn't realize how much negativity I was internalizing with the query rejections. I didn't realize how much the repeated "no"s were dragging me down.
Hopefully one day soon I'll get another literary agent and I can start hearing great things about my writing again from The Biz.
But honestly, I'm starting to think that that doesn't matter.
Right now, I am ony knees with tears in my eyes THANKING YOU.
Thank you all for reminding me why I do this: to make readers feel something, to engage readers minds and hearts, and to put good stories out into the world.
So thank you so much for letting me know you enjoy them. Thank you for helping me believe in my work again.
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tagged by @herefortears thanks sm lovie, i love tag games
Your name: i typically go by 'aayo' online, but sometimes it's 'lucinda' (either or i don't mind-)
Your first fandom(s): uhh, in all honesty either Haikyuu, Harry Potter, or mcyt stuff- i honestly don't remember it was so long ago-
Your current fandom(s): Supernatural, Merlin, ACOTAR, TWD, Stranger Things, Throne of Glass, TGS, POTC, OUAT, Haikyuu and MHA
How did you first get into fandom? I've honestly got no idea- uhh, i just started watching/reading a bunch of series and one day i got bored and went searching (online) for someone i could rant to about everything, and who would understand what im going on about- (totally didn't started on wattpad-)
How long have you been engaging in fandom spaces? hmm, minimum five years, but it was really scattered and i didnt do much in the early days
How often do you read fanfics? not often enough, i try to read as many as i can, though i can almost never find the time to
Top three characters from your current fandom(s): Supernatural: gabriel, gadreel, charlie Merlin: gwaine, gwen, and merlin ACOTAR: helion, cassian (pfp), tarquin/mor TWD: glenn, maggie/carl, negan Stranger Things: robin, dustin, erica (OR eddie) Throne of Glass: fenrys, dorian, lysandra/aedion (cant choose 😭😭) TGS: rachel, hyde and lanyon for sure POTC: sobbing, i havent watched this in ages (minimum 5 years) i can barely remember these people- OUAT: regina, hook and henry Haikyuu: sakusa, suna anddd either tsumu or bokuto MHA: kaminari, kirishima, sero
Have you ever written fic for a fandom? God yes. So many that were so cringe and got abandoned, and even more that have never been published.
Have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom? Yes. Never posted, but yes.
Share a personal headcanon that you feel very strongly about: aedion has the manliset man bun you've ever seen there's more, but that's a big one for me
You’re trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) with you. what episode, clip, or scene are you showing them? idek- smth that either made me laugh so hard i nearly peed myself, smile so much my face hurt for hours afterward, want to punch [character/writer/director/whatever name] in the face so many times, or made me cry so much i could barely get out of bed days later
And finally, what does fandom mean to you? hmm, being able to all caps rant to someone about this thing you hated/loved in a fandom, or just being accepted by a group of people/person who you might not know irl, but consider family/really really good friends like holy fuck we're besties, i want to marry you platonically and we can adopt all of our blorbos even from fandoms we dont share we can all be one absolutely massive family that puts the fun in dysfunctional
(no pressure) tagging @aliens-took-my-iwa-chan @reverie-starlight @gay-destiel and anyone who'd want to join!
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Fandom Tracking: How I Got To Where I Am Today
Because sometimes it is wild to review how I got where I am today because of all the fandoms I have been immersed in. And someone once said, you don't forget fandom - it goes to sleep until it effing wakes up again one random day and oh no, you're back in deep!!! *lmao*
This is long and wordy, so if you do read my journey - thank you! And thank you to those who have influenced my fandoms over the years. So many have been through Tumblr, and I can say I continue to have multiple friends (that I still talk with!!) just from Tumblr because of fandom. And if we don't talk anymore, know that you shaped me, I am grateful for you, and I still care about you. <3
My first fandom was probably Adventures in Odyssey. And the internet proved to really fuel that obsession, especially with the Town of Odyssey website. Interacting with other fans was exhilarating (and pissed off my father because dial-up connection impacted his ability to call home during the day ;)) I believe I got into AIO in 2004 (maybe 2003, but the events of 2004 still ring in my brain that fueled some of my life choices about going into healthcare and nursing).
At almost the same time, I got into CSI:Miami, and then filtered through all of CSI (regular, Miami, NY) (this all happened really off the internet, tho, so it honestly was more of an obsession without the fandom). 2005/2006.
And that was in the early 2000s. I was staying up to watch CSI:Miami at 9/10pm even though I was barely an 8th grader *lmao* And I was a budding fanfiction writer - AIO, CSI:Miami, mary sues everywhere, crossovers left and right (I crossed AIO with CSI:Miami and NY so many times).
But my earliest fandom interaction on Tumblr (which was the typical medium of choice to fuel my trajectory through various fandoms since about 2009/2010) was for Firefly. I don't remember exactly how I got into Firefly—whether it was a combo of my sister mentioning it while we were watching Castle together or Tumblr—but I fell head-over-heels into It. Plus Castle became an obsession (the fanfiction I wrote - oof) - oh Nathan Fillion.
Firefly then led me to Chuck; I've noticed an unending trend of getting to new fandoms by just the actors alone (re: Star Trek). Adam Baldwin led to Zachary Levi.
Chuck (Zach, oh Zach) catapulted me into the Tangled fandom in 2010/2011 (there were so many glorious fanfics, both written and read!!). Tangled became my most-watched movie in theaters (11 times if I remember correctly).
Somewhere amongst the odds and ends of finishing high school and beginning college, I collected all of Prison Break on DVD (what a show). I wouldn't say I was ever "in" the fandom, but I certainly have held that show in my heart for *years*.
A friend in the Tangled fandom began posting Thor-related posts, and I was interested. Went to Thor in 2011 and walked out going, "Who is the sexy villain, and can I have that?!" - fell head-over-heels for Tom Hiddleston.
Hiddles was something else entirely for about three years - the movies I watched, the TV shows I watched, the absolute obsession with magazines and anything I could get my hands on. Bonkers time of my life! I saw The Avengers movie in 2012 twice on opening day (midnight, and then again later that evening). I would say Hiddles did get me into the Marvel universe (cinematic. I have never gotten into the comics).
Now this part is fuzzy. Which came first - the chicken or the egg? Did Hiddles get me to see War Horse, which led me to Benedict Cumberbatch? Or had I already been intrigued by BBC Sherlock? Not sure. Honestly, this time of my life was a blur. Nursing school. Needless to say, I then found Cumberbatch.
Watched all of his filmography (I think I did for Hiddles too), and then Cumberbatch was cast into Star Trek.
Growing up, I had watched some episodes of Enterprise. My sister seemed to enjoy bits and pieces, but I couldn't fully commit.
Well, considering Cumberbatch was cast into the sequel movie from the 2009 hit, I guess I needed to watch the first one.
At first, I kind of hated Chris Pine. No idea. Might have been the cockiness. Plus, I had to watch Star Trek 2009 about a million times to understand the entire plot. I do remember live-streaming ST 2009 for all my tumblr friends while working on care plans in nursing school. Bro, those were the days.
But now that I remember, I fell in love with Chris Pine when Rise of the Guardians came out Thanksgiving 2012. His voice acting was magical. And I was forever smitten.
Thus began the 12-year+ never-ending obsession with Chris Pine. And as we got closer to STID, I fell in love with Star Trek. 2012 changed my world - Star Trek was new worlds, galaxies, and adventures - everything I couldn't even imagine. Granted, I started off with only the new movies, but over the past 12 years, I have successfully watched every single series entirely at least once (I have been a loyal Trekkie of all the new stuff, love it so damn much!). I watched Into Darkness 13 times in theaters (still holds the record. Nothing beats my maternal grandmother and her 17 times seeing Devil Wears Prada, but ya know...)
But the friends I have made and still cherish today just from Star Trek and fandom alone was worth every single painful detail of growth I have had to experience to get to now.
I think I stagnated between 2013 and 2015. School ended, I started my first nursing job, and then in May 2015, I moved to North Dakota. Somewhere in there, I did watch Doctor Who and went to the Doctor Who-themed bar in Portland (so cool!). My first comic con was in - 2014? 2015? I got to see Alan Tudyk, Stephen Amell (my sister liked him a lot), Karl Urban, and a few from the cast of Agents of Shield. What a time to be alive! Also looks like this was the first budding relationship with Powell's Bookstore in Portland (best bookstore on the planet!). I was steady in my love for Star Trek. I likely watched many different tv shows and movies for various actors (Heroes was up there; Almost Human), but Chris Pine, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Tom Hiddleston reigned in my mind.
Cue Christmas. 2015. This orange round droid called BB8 has been all over the merch. I think he is adorable. I believe I had tried to get into Star Wars before, but it never stuck. I grew up watching the original trilogy, but never made the connection on how amazing Star Wars was. (there was also a lot of heat for fans liking both Trek and Wars - which, even now, I still don't get it. They are both so very, very different! I say BOTH, DANG IT!).
So I go to the first possible screening of the Force Awakens I can get. Magic. Pure magic.
Then this - this youthful man takes off the mask. And I'm like "Okay, who the hell are you and when can we get married?" (this was 2015, I wasn't mature - yet).
Oh Adam Driver. He sparked my interest for a short time (I watched a few of his movies after seeing TFA), but for some reason it wasn't meant to be.
I flitted with Star Trek some more - and then we lost Anton Yelchin and my world seemed to topple. I don't know why his death hit me so hard, but I was a wreck when I went to see Beyond, I was a wreck watching any of his beloved films, and in December 2016 I got a second Star Trek tattoo in memory of Anton and a patient I had cared for before moving to Denver.
I found myself getting into Hannibal somewhere in that first year in Denver - 2017 (I also then watched all of Chris Pine's filmography, and... maybe Cumberbatch's? I'm not entirely sure when Hiddleston slipped from my focus. I know sometime after BBC Sherlock ended and Cumberbatch got married I also let him slip from my focus). I know I saw The Last Jedi in theaters, but was so bored that I couldn't connect with Star Wars (yet). (ironically, TLJ is now my favorite ST movie, hands down.)
Things kind of blur again. I cannot for the life of me remember how I got into MacGyver 2016 (of course I had seen the OG, I was there when my father bought the DVD sets, and I can recite the very first episode of the entire series from memory (oh Richard Dean Anderson)). Something, something, maybe it was a tumblr influence? I know I binge-watched S1 & S2 right as S3 started in 2018. I don't know if the connection was between George Eads or Lucas Till (CSI vs X-Men First Class) that likely enticed me - but, well, look at me now. 6+ years strong and I'm still addicted to MacGyver. and Lucas Till.
Leverage happened somewhere in there.
And, of course, the next biggest fandom that fell into my lap actually became - Star Wars & Adam Driver. December 2019. I see TROS. And I see TROS again. And again. And again. I think I saw it around 9 to 10 times in the theaters. (When the pandemic hit and there was a delay in getting the physical copy of the movie, I was so mad. It was the thing keeping me going in that first period of isolation. Oh, and all the Adam Driver movies I was binge-watching, lmao). Needless to say, in December 2019, I fell in love with Star Wars and Adam Driver and literally haven't looked back. Ever.
It's been pretty steady since then. MacGyver, Lucas Till, Star Trek, Chris Pine, Star Wars, Adam Driver.
Until this past week when I finally watched S1E1 of The Legend of Vox Machina. GUYS, I THINK I'M A D&D FAN NOW. I just binge-watched 36 episodes of a masterpiece, I went to Powell's and bought three fucking books, and I'm literally about to start Critical Role; this is exhilarating!! Absolute insanity. That one came out of nowhere (Amazon Prime Video showed a picture sometime in October, and I was like "okay, what is this? Hmmm. I'm interested" - VEX AND PERCY WILL BE THE DEATH OF MEEEEEE!!)
I also cannot forget to mention Lee Pace ended up enthralled in there somewhere (Pushing Daisies! The Fall!!!). And a childhood favorite for life, The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Crazy this journey. I'm sure it won't end like this - it will continue to always evolve.
Much love <3
#about me#fandoms#so many to list I can't even begin#my Fandom journey#i love all my fandoms#the friends I have made#the memories created#the love I have and had and will forever have#fandom is forever
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Rules
DNI If you're homophobic transphobic, or a man.
I'm only going to be writing for characters I'm comfortable with writing. Any characters in red on my masterlists are characters I won't write for. I might eventually be able to write for them, as the main thing that might be putting me off might just be a lack of knowledge about them, personality-wise, backstory-wise, or otherwise. So while a character might be in the red as of now, that doesn't mean it'll be like that forever.
I will NOT write for male characters from any of the fandoms I'm in.
Likewise, I also WON'T be writing for M!Reader ever.
I can't do X OCs, and will instead do X Readers. If your OC has a specific quirk, or something unique that you want me to translate into my writing (ex: you have an OC that's a really bossy Halovian with black wings and is a "bad singer" and you want them to be shipped with Robin) then make it less specific. Like say something like, "Could you do a Bossy!Reader X Robin and throw in how their first date would go?" or something along those lines. Basically, narrow down your OC, and disguise it as a Reader request. This rule is primarily put in place so that others who decide to read don't feel alienated because it's too specific.
I'm absolutely chill with angst of nearly-all kinds of angst, though I might be a bit rusty. However, I won't do suicide angst, angst of active abuse (angst reflecting on past abuse is fine, though). My angst needs to have a happy/non-sad ending no matter the kind.
Smut-Specific Rules
DO NOT REQUEST SMUT OF CHARACTERS I'VE LABELED IN PURPLE
Nothing with typically-gross fetishes or kinks (p!ss, feces, r@pe, CnC, I personally can't do anal, so I won't.), but I'm fine with lighter stuff (foodplay, BDSM, temperature play and similar stuff)
Don't expect top-tier stuff
I usually prefer for my p0rn to have a plot. Not necessary to put it into the request, but it's heavily advised, so that I'll know where to go and so that I'll have more ideas on what to do.
If you're not sure what's allowed, then just ask me.
Not really rules, just warnings on how I write.
I'll usually be writing for GN!Reader, Fem!Reader, or AFAB!Reader. I can probably write for MtF!Reader, but I'm not trans myself, so it'll probably be clunky and noticeably off for me to write for that if it's a steamy scene.
I'll likely only do smut if it's requested. If I do write smut, I'll mostly be focusing on the thoughts and feelings of the Reader character, rather than sensations or what exactly is happening.
I don't tend to make the Reader very generic in terms of their reactions, or backstories (if they have them). They aren't exactly my self-insert, it's just that I find it fun to think up some backstory or other scenarios the Reader has been in. Just pretend it's an RP or something and roll with it. If you want me to avoid doing this, you can put something in with your request.
My main strengths are headcanons, and fanfics. Drabbles are not my strong-suit because making something 100 words or less makes me sad (Booo! Get off of Tumblr, Nack!). I get that non-drabble works are not for everyone, so the closest thing you'll get to it would be my headcanons.
If I do angst I need it to have a happy ending. You have been warned.
You CAN request multiples. You can even request more than 3! However, keep in mind, that if it gets beyond 5 characters I WILL split the post into parts so that they can all be detailed and nice-looking.
With all of that sorted and out of the way, I hope you enjoy this blog!
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