#absolutely horrid. so crabs!

[spotsupstuff]

If haboob thinks sand is bad wait till she finds out about glitter

glitter wouldn't mess with her gears though, yanno. one thing is that it gets everywhere but the more pressing thing is that it itches and messes with her hardware

[livesworthlivingau]

Lives Worth Living Chapter 18

ISAT/Two Hats Spoilers below. CW: Suicidal Ideation/Mention, Intrusive Self-Depricating Thoughts, Verbal Abuse, Hacking up blood, just very emotionally painful themes and tones.

(The lightless void... You're back here... You kneel and hold yourself close, shaking. Tears streak down the right side of your face again. No no no no no no! Not here! Not now!! You have to get out, you have to wake up, you have to get away! You look around frantically, trying desperately to find an exit, some sign of difference, anything but- oh no...)

(You spot it in the distance, the dark cloaked and hatted figure, approaching with silent footsteps. The dark reflection of yourself, here to replace the bright one you had lost.)

(You stumble back, staring in absolute horror as it keeps growing closer. Nonononono... Not you, not again... You shut your eye tight and turn the other way, starting to run as fast as you can manage. It can't get you if you can't see it, right? It's not real, just ignore it!)

(You run in the lightless void, even darker with your eye closed, just sprinting in whatever direction you faced. You can't manage to keep up the pace for long, but you think hopefully you lost it somehow. Just as you begin to slow to a stop you feel a hand suddenly grip your shoulder, clenching down like a vice as you cry out in shocked pain.)

["Stardust..."]

(Your eye shoots open at that voice, immediately getting blurry from more tears forming.)

"Loop..." (You whisper out, unable to stop yourself from turning to face it. You're met face to face with that horrid sadness. Its wide, unblinking eye staring deep into your very soul, darkless and lightless in all the wrong places. It opens its mouth as loop's voice flows out of it.)

["Stardust... You only needed to help me with one simple thing. Get us out of the loops. That's all I wanted from you. And you couldn't even manage that~."]

(Their voice tears into your heart like the knife that once entered it. You choke out a few sobs before falling to your knees, collapsing against the figure and hugging its lower half.)

"Loop... Loop I'm so sorry..."

["I did it because of you, you know! You drove me to it, teehee~. I could barely stand a two day loop with you, how could I bear thirty years? You're terrible, terrible, terrible, stardust~! Imagine having to be stuck watching you crawl your way through the decades, just to watch you repeat a cycle..."]

-"Of erasing my change."- (Mira...)

<"Of never letting me grow up."> (Bonbon...)

|"Of breaking my heart."| (Isa...)

="Of letting me die."= (Odile...)

["Honestly, Stardust, it's a wonder I made it as long as I did~."]

(The tears flow down your face and soak into the figures cloak, just shaking and sobbing.)

"I-I'm so sorry I couldn't help you..."

[""Oh, stardust... You already have. Don't you see? It's your fault I'm gone. There's no longer a Loop in this universe, and I couldn't be happier about it! All you had to do was love me, and accommodate me, and include me in your lurid little life until I wanted to kill myself~."]

"N-No... No that's not true!" (You cry out, pulling away, starting to stand and walk back away from it.)

["Of course it is~! You were so gracious too, ready to hand me the Fighter's heart without so much as asking him. Aren't you the worst, Stardust~? Only one loop in and you're already back to treating your family like playthings, teehee~!"]

"NO! NO I WASN'T! THAT'S A LIE!!"

<"You'd know, Frin... You lie all the time!!! You lied about our super duper wish promise!!! You said you wouldn't make yourself loop and you CRABBING LIED!!!">

(The cold sensation in your body grows even colder at that.)

"B-Bonnie... N-No, I-I didn't! I-I couldn't, I swear!"

["It wouldn't be the first promise you broke, stardust. Remember when you promised not to tell anyone about our past? And then you went right to the Researcher and spilled your withered little heart out~."]

"SHUT UP!! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!" (You scream, making a scissors sign and swiping frantically at it. It doesn't react in the slightest as a flash of craft slices through it.)

="I'm glad you would trust me with those kinds of secrets, Siffrin. Researching your predicament is going to be the only thing I enjoy about your company for the next thirty years."=

-"When can we move on, Siffrin? You're not going to put our lives on hold just so you can figure out these new loops, are you?"-

"I CAN'T- I-I- IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I-I'M SORRY!" (You scream, gripping your hair and pulling on it, falling to your knees again as you feel the tears continue to pour down the right side of your face.)

["Oh, but it is, stardust! You made that wish, after all! You wished to stay with them! You wished to trap them together with you until they had no choice but to love you and stay with you!"]

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!" (You cry out, slashing out with your scissor sign again and again and again, the most you manage is to blow their cloak around the slightest bit...)

|"You keep playing with my heart, Sif. You had your dagger ready, why didn't you use it? Were you just waiting for me to come through the door? So you could make me pity you more than I already do?"|

"SHUT IT YOU BLINDING MONSTER!!!!" (You have to get out of here, you have to escape! YOU HAVE TO GET FREE! You look around for something, anything, there has to be a way out of here! You turn around and start running again, just hoping for some time to think.)

(You feel around for your dagger, you can't find it anywhere. Isa took it from you. He took your way out. He trapped you in here because he cared about you. You run yet again, but everywhere you turn, you see it again, slowly getting closer each time you double back.)

(With one last turn, it's hand lurches forward, gripping your throat again as you choke out, struggling and kicking. You're quickly slammed to the ground, knocking the wind out of you, gasping violently to try and recover.)

["Maybe us Siffrins should stick together, stardust. Why don't you join me?"]

(You fall limp under it... Maybe it was right... maybe you should just put an end to all of this...)

"L-Loop..." (You let out in a pained whisper.)

["It's better being dead, Stardust. Take it from Loop, helpful Loop~ The life of Siffrin isn't worth living. Your little family will be better off without you taking up so much space in their lives~."]

(... It's true... you've consumed so much of their lives in the past 30 years, and this time it's only going to get worse... Maybe they would be better off...)

["Isn't that so much easier? To just accept you'll never truly be worth loving~. I don't know why that silly Fighter of yours bothers so much. You must have done quite a number on that poor man to make him so obsessed with you~."]

(... Isa... You grip at its wrist as its hand remains around your throat. The figure tilts its head some at this.)

["Awww, is my little Stardust getting a second wind? You're so pathetic~."]

(It grips your throat tighter. You choke out, struggling and squirming in it's grasp. You have to get out of here, you have to find a way, you have to make it back... You have to make it, for Isa, for all of them...)

["You were soooo close~. Just one little wish away, so why fight it now? You're so much cuter with that sad, defeated look plastered across your face~."]

(It remarks, lifting you up and slamming you back to the ground again, hacking up some blood. You wheeze and choke for air, kicking about frantically. Get out get out get out get out get out!!! Your mind races, digging for something, anything to help you get out of here... and then you remember it, that visceral shade. The one that lit up the sky on that last loop, the one that flashed in your mind when you said it's name...)

["You better get comfortable Stardust, because I'm going to enjoy killing you over and over and over again! No escape this time~!"]

(Before it can manage to lift you up again, you shout the name of your home. Everything goes to that color as it fills your mind and vision. Once it fades you can hear your own screams, hacking up the same shade across the floor, looking up to see the figure stumbling back in a daze. It's working... it hurts like hell but it's working.)

(You shout it again with another flash. Your senses slowly return again, shaking violently, hacking up more of that bright blood. You weakly look towards the figure as it had fallen to it's knees, the air around it like static, buzzing and glitching, like the house reacted on your last loop. One more time... that has to do it...)

"---------!!!" (Your senses fade again, for much longer this time. When they finally return to you, you're screaming out, on your hands and knees on your bed. You hack up more, staining the sheets with the horrible tint.)

"SIF?!" (You turn to see Isa practically having kicked the door down. You weakly reach your hand out for them, gasping and choking for air, still hacking up more and more of that horrid shade.)

"S-Siffrin!" (Mira shouts as she rushes in as well, Odile is standing at the door still, holding back a struggling Bonnie.)

"Let me see Frin!!"

"Not now Boniface, let them help first."

"FRIIIIN! IT'S OKAY WE'RE HERE!!" (Odile shuts the door behind her as she exits the room. Isa is tightly gripping your hand in his, Mirabelle is pumping as much healing craft as she can into you. You did it... you made it out... you escaped, thanks to the love they have for you...)

"Isa... Mira..." (Is all you can manage to choke out, laying somewhat limp against him.)

"Shhh, shhh, save your strength buddy. We're here, we're here for you..." (You let him hold you gently, just enjoying his warm embrace again. You slowly close your eyes to rest once more, feeling safe from the sadness locked within you, at least for now.)

Huge thanks to @tactical-shrubbery for helping me with the dialogue for MDP, she is SIMPLY TOO GOOD AT IT! I actually had to change the ending because Sif would have literally give up if she kept going ^^;

[coolest-capybara]

This week's mysterious Maniculum Bestiaryposting creature is the Dulyamra! It is "keenly aware of the elements" and its behaviors depend on the moon. The element most visibly affected by the moon is water, so it would make sense for it to be a water creature.

It is described as having arms as well as being absolutely horrible to look at, having "a hideous face, its creases foully expanding and contracting like a bellows". Also, "the Dulyamra does not have a tail. Although every part of the Dulyamra is foul, its rear parts are disgusting and horrid enough." If I were a crab and had the worst ass in existence, I would probably try to cover it up so those bestiary authors stop being so mean about it. Hence, we get a beautiful little hermit crab.

Shown here is "a characteristic of the Dulyamra [...] when a mother bears twins, she loves one and despises the other. If it ever happens that she is pursued by hunters, she carries the one she loves before her in her arms and the one she detests on her shoulders."

There is no shortage of medieval crab inspiration in astronomical texts. This one is based on a drawing from St. Gallen, Stiftsbibliothek, Cod. Sang. 250, p. 483 – Astronomical-computistic encyclopedia.

[imsparky2002]

Class of Villainy - Lil’ Villains

Mari De Vil: This little fashionista hurts animals on the regular and always dresses to impress at daycare. A cruel and horrid little girl.

JafAdrien: A scheming and wicked boy who puts on a cute face to get what he wants. Loves snakes and has a pet parrot with him to spy on other kids. Someday he’s gonna be the best sorcerer in the world.

YzAlya: This girl loves to create new potions and plan havoc, too bad her big sister is always accidentally foiling her plans. Likes turning teachers and adults into animals.

Honest Nino: The little fox-hybrid uses his cute looks to con people. You’ll find him snuggling with Alya in his fox hole.

Prince of Hearts: Nathaniel is madder than a hatter, and the little boy will find any excuse to resort to decapitation. Everyone has to follow his ridiculous rules, or face the consequence.

Prince Marc: The Poison Prince sees himself as fairest of all children (except for his friend Nathaniel, to whom he is equal), and will do anything to keep it that way. Him and Alya like making poison and potions together, and Marc is always staring at himself in the mirror.

Maxiro: A infant genius who’s already planning world domination before snacktime. Little guy’s constructing toy robots and having a blast doing so.

Kimton: A arrogant and rude kid who’s mean to non-villainous girls, and those he thinks are weak. Wants to be a hunter like his Dad.

Alix Khan: The little Princess of the Jungle. This tiger-hybrid toddler loves pouncing and scratching at her prey, but is scared of fire. She’s one evil kitty.

Juleficent: The tiny Mistress of All Evil, this small goth loves to spread wickedness with her staff. Her favorite thing to do is make those no-fun adults nap with her sleep spell. Wishes she could turn into a dragon. Turns her twin brother Luka into a raven for fun.

Princess Rose Candy: The digital infant Princess of Sugar Rush (She was never Pigella in this universe) who was given glitching powers by her best friend, Juleka. Don’t let the bright clothes and squeaky voice fool you, she’s pure evil. Loves to give and eat candy.

Ivan Oogie: The boogiebaby loves frightening his friends and enemies. He’s always up to no good, trying to find something to torture the staff with. Ivan can’t wait until he’s older, when things’ll get really scary.

Mylensula: This tiny sea witch is already quite the devious girl. She uses little crayons and paper to get contracts, and likes stealing voices all for herself.

Madame Sabrina: The girl absolutely loves diamonds and will do anything to have them. Her, Chloe, and Marinette are rich playdates who already have an extreme sense of self-worth.

Lady Chloe: Despite only being a toddler, Chloe makes adults cower when she gives them a death stare. A refined and insidious young girl, she hates plebs and those who are utterly ridiculous.

Kagami Yu: The daughter of a warlord, this little general is eager for the day she can conquer in battle. Always carrying around her toy sword, Kagami’s always up for a fight.

Madame Aurore: A demented and batty child with a love for the gruesome and grim. She’s always bouncing off the walls, and needs to be watched constantly.

Mireides: The toddler Goddess of Death is always snarking about her situation. She likes burning things with her hair, punishing her Kwamis, or causing trouble with Aurore. When she throws a temper tantrum, it gets ugly.

Zoe of the Southern Isles: The princess who’s tired of being ignored by people. Pretends to be a sweet and kind little girl, but is actually a wicked baddie. Loves to have pretend sword fights with her best friend, Kagami.

Jeanatoa: A small crab-hybrid who loves shiny things. They’re always snatching jewels and trinkets with their pincers. He also loves putting on shows for his classmates, and really wants to eat his grandma.

Cosetteweather: This lamb-hybrid is already prepping for office. They follow around Zoe and help her with her plans to become Princess. It pretends to be a shy meek little kid, but is a smart cookie who’ll do anything to get power. Loves being with Zoe.

Doctor Cabello: They may be a toddler, but they already have friends on the other side. They like to use hoodoo magic and talismans to cause trouble, mainly by getting their shadows to do their bidding. They also love teasing the little choir boy, Simon.

Simon Frollo: A very religious little boy, always babbling about “no sinning” and how “God” is so cool. He’ll do naughty things and then say that God told them to do it. Has a puppy-love relationship with Denise, ironically enough.

Ismascar: The Prince of the Jungle who longs to be king. He’s a naughty cub who gets his hyena friends to do his bidding. You’ll find him playing with Alix, usually with strings or yarn. Loves his daddy very much.

Reshma Hook: The toddler daughter of Captain Aabha, one of the greatest pirates ever known. Aabha and Anarka Couffaine are friends, so their daughters were playmates before daycare. Reshma takes after her mommy, and loves pilfering gold or other valuable items, when she can find it.

Lacey Gothel: The little girl is a serial killer in the making. She’s always lurking somewhere with her toy knife, waiting to strike. Loves disguises and hates old people.

And that’s the rotten bunch of kids that poor Bustier and Mendeliev have to control. We’ll be seeing more of them, as well as the ‘Lil Heroes soon in the future. As always, make sure to reblog, reply, ask, and post your thoughts. @artzychic27 @msweebyness

[kabretoss]

OC-tober 1: Evan

A parka and no gloves or hat, sneakers and jeans, lazy gestures at winter wear. A melted circle around a fire that licked lovingly at a night sky painted heavy and low with rolling clouds, themselves stained dirty orange-purple to the north with the lights of the city. A log, rather than the nearby bench, a thermos, a textbook, and a boy.

On clear nights that sky was full of low-hanging stars, made huge and bright by the clear-aired prairies, and he’d be looking up at them. Tonight was biology homework, though: a sheet of lined looseleaf was crammed at a slight diagonal on the page opposite the one he was reading, filling slowly with crabbed little notes, clumsy for the angle and in the darkness. It was a bubble of quiet, the little scratches of his pen and the lazy pop of the fire kind companions to his concentration.

“Hey, nerd.”

He almost kicked his thermos over and was immediately embarrassed by his own surprise, frowning it over his shoulder at Cassie. “What?”

She circled around and sat beside him, picking up the thermos cup-lid and stealing a sip of his hot chocolate and wrinkling her nose at him right back. “Seriously? I can sneak you out some schnapps or something to put in this. A big sister always provides.” Doing a little flourish she sketched a shitty little bow, a pitch-perfect imitation of their dad.

She was twenty-one and he was sixteen, and this was a familiar dance. “I’m good. I’ve got homework.”

“You’re so fucking boring.” She made a face at him and he made one right back. “Half the wolves are drunk off their asses already. It’s the same thing every month. I’m so bored. They’re playing charades,” Cass whined.

“What time is it?” January in Alberta meant dark at like four, which played hell with the technicalities of a werewolf’s shift cycle. If they were still human enough to be playing charades and boring Cassie, it couldn’t be much past seven. Soon the pups would be under Evan’s mom’s babysitting house-arrest, and the adults would be partying it up drunk on the moon rather than on schnapps. A thought occurred. “Is Nora going out with the adults tonight?”

“I don’t fucking know, she’s your friend, not mine.” Cassie stole the half-full thermos and more of his hot chocolate. She was giving him a good solid gimlet-eye, some horrid thing dawning behind her judgy gaze. “You want I should distract that meathead brother of hers so you two can sneak off and make out?”

Firelight and cold gave great plausible deniability for blushes, but Evan was the easiest read in his family. “No, um, I’m good. We’re not, uh. And I have homework.” He patted his palm on the textbook, as if its friendly presence would save him from meddling sisters.

Cassie leaned back, almost far enough to topple, and groaned. “Come on, little man, give me something to work with here. You’re the worst! I’m going go to tell her you’re out here pining and playing with fire! You know she loves that shit, she’ll come running.”

“Don’t you dare, you absolute nightmare.” He straightened urgently.

“I’m doing it.” Cass was up again. He’d made a mistake: she’d gotten a reaction out of him and now she was a dog on a bone, grinning at him all teeth as she backed out of the comfortable circle of the fire, which was crackling with increased urgency itself. “You’re never gonna make a move. You need that big-sister magic.”

“I hate you so much,” he moaned, heart rabbiting away in his chest. She laughed as she kicked her way through the snow back to the farmhouse; he looked at his textbook and wondered if he could finish his chapter before he had to find out whether or not Nora would come out after him if she knew he was here.

[arx-aru]

#i honestly think miquellas whole theme of childbirth and unborn stuff is really cool#like i dont really believe it has anything to do with mohg- take his haligtree form for example.#his cocoon was in the womb of the figure and the figure is likely female so that also has gender implications but thats not important#mohg was probably trying to….. replicate. the womb stuff with the pelvic bone maybe he thought it would help in some way??#egh. mohg is weird. but anyway#forever nascent. his butterflies are said to look like theyve just emerged from their cocoon for their entire lives#eternal childhood. trying to rebirth himself. his cocoons in the haligtree. the land octopus and crab eggs.#theres so many like…. childbirth and feminine themes with him and i think its incredibly interesting#like. i dont think it HAS to be thought of in like a. weird sexual way. i think its just a…. positive theme.#my personal little theory is that rennalas rune of the unborn was supposed to be miquellas. it would have helped him perfect his rebirth#hmmm…. i dont really know how to explain it?? it feels like a commentary on how beautiful motherhood and childbirth is in a way??#from what ive heard bloodborne also has themes like this? im not sure tho since i havent played that yet#eh well. theres probably a post out there explaining it. i just make it sound odd and strange#i promise you i do not view those themes as anything sexual. thatd be weird as fuck#elden ring#cw: mohg#i do think he needs therapy though hes got some horrid stress

@solpuff yeah!!! I get it--I think I absolutely agree from a similar angle; Miquella in of himself, I feel, is definitely like. very connected to motherhood/reproduction/renewal, and I think it is in a positive way. The vibe I get from all the stuff that does associate those themes with negativity seems very much a point of outside interference, every time. I kinda read his depicted "struggles," where all that is concerned, as another discussion of disability, plus obviously a ton of trauma, cuz, like...

the crab eggs are definitely like. completely fine, in of themselves. that's just how crabs do! it's that people prey upon them, and--with how the description is phrased--almost fetishize the consumption of them. It's not the crab or the eggs that's "gross" here, it's how they're explicitly seen/misused by a third party.

the octopuses are forced to require outside nourishment for their own reproduction because their biology just isn't set up right. It's not really their fault, but the twisted circumstance that surely affected their ovaries such that they don't function "normally." which ties in, I think, with how Miquella's and Malenia's afflictions are implied to be largely thanks to Marika's selfcest. (i personally find it pretty meaningful cuz like-- needing to reckon with bodily issues stemming from forseeable-but-ignored complications by parents is relatable stuff for me)

the singing bats! little fellas are sad they can't reproduce. they're literally and actively expressing the trauma of their infertility through art. combined with how they tend to be near flowing water or an overabundance of rain, it's definitely like-- they're really really sad. and it's not their fault they have to deal with this.

the mohg stuff can make it all super uncomfortable to approach for obvious reasons like you mentioned, but in spite of that it is absolutely like. pretty important just to miquella i think-- and i don't think it detracts from the basic, pre-mohg "reproduction-as-a-good-thing" idea. it's just kinda. real. cuz that happens--his pre-existing trauma and struggle got amplified and compounded because somebody tried to force him to do something he couldn't do(in the worst sense imaginable, in his case, ofc).

since it's really common for disabled ppl to be put in similar situations, it does feel meaningful that the game explores that part of disability/vulnerability/trauma...

i just hope that the dlc expands on that reading in a positive way, and that FromSoft doesn't like. do what they did to ds3!Gwyndolin again. I'm pretty hopeful about it tho, since the twins are currently a big improvement and sign of growth in terms of narrative handling of these heavy themes as compared to their myriad soulsborne predecessors like Quelaag and her sister, Lothric and Lorian, Gwyndolin, and so on. (and I think there's good themes and very real and positive aspects to those representations too, but improvements are refreshing and exciting for sure)

Also yes!!! there's already a ton of connections between Miquella and Raya Lucaria, where Rennala is--which is super interesting because the rune of the unborn is surely of unique and extreme interest to the twins.

There's all sorts of Miquella items & mobs around Liurnia--which is flooding!--, and the nearer you get to Raya Lucaria there's more and more Trina items specifically instead, which I think suggests he(she, here? they? i like the idea of the trina thing being indicative of like, genderfluidity but that's neither here nor there lol) was subtly trying to get nearer--or at least investigate--the rune of the unborn or rennala's studies of it. although that's equally likely to just be more of him looking into "heresies" to help malenia after abandoning fundamentalism (that said--he seems to have moved towards 'faith' rather than 'intelligence'(fundamentalism being split int/faith) by the time of the Shattering??? unclear tbh). i like to think it's at least both though--hopefully in the future we get to see a bit more what the deal was with miquella's hypothetical on-off alliance/association thing with the carian ladies.) bah

trina lilys like big crabs fun fact

"wow miq rlly likes crabs that's cute :)" wrong.

it's another. reproduction thing. ):

take note of the how weird that last sentence is. and that it's trina(sleep) lilies rather than miq lilies in this case.

can somebody please get miquella therapy

[greyskies2002]

FW de Klerk died today😌 may he rest in bits and pieces❤️

[magicshopaholic]

Aspirin (Namjoon x OC)

Summary: You have a cold. Across the world, your loving boyfriend and spoiler king, Namjoon, is a dangerous combination of concerned and amused.

Pairing: Namjoon x OC

Genre: Established relationship; fluff

Rating: PG/15+

Word Count: 3.7 K

Warnings: mild sickness, long distance yearning, Namjoon is the dreamiest boyfriend on earth

A/N: This is set a few months prior to Industry Baby, and describes one of the "firsts" of Namjoon and Kaya's relationship. I wrote most of it on my phone in Bangkok airport and on Chaweng beach, so any typos are due to the vast amount of sand in my eyes.

Thank you so much to the wonderful @horanghoe and @meirkive who beta-ed this for me with tons of in-depth feedback and appropriate gushing <3

This is also part of my submission towards the Bangtan Bingo Spring Event by @bangtanwritingbingo, using my square “Sickfic”.

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment or ask :)

Listen to: "gotta have you" by the weepies

namjoon masterlist | main masterlist

It's too high.

Kaya sighs, feeling her sinuses struggling to process even such a simple action. She debates vaguely which is worse: the cold that came out of nowhere, or the dissertation she's midway through reviewing that simply has to be done by Monday, come what may. Right now, she's leaning towards the former.

Correction: it's the bottle of Aspirin that's one shelf too high. 

She has absolutely no idea how it ended up there. If she can't reach the shelf to retrieve it, she definitely couldn't have placed it there in the first place. Her first thought is her friend Alex, who came over a few weeks ago and would have presumably helped herself to a couple of pills, as she usually does every time she's worked late. Her second thought is Namjoon, for whom the shelf is probably at eye level - but it’s been months since he’s been to her apartment so it’s highly unlikely that he would’ve inadvertently put her in this position.

Almost as though he knew she was thinking about him, her phone pings from where she’s left it on the dining table. Wincing at the sound, she shuffles out of the bathroom and across the kitchen of her studio apartment to check it.

Joon [15:10]

Hey, beautiful.

Kaya’s heart leaps weakly. She sinks into the chair, lowers the brightness of the screen and types out a reply.

Kaya [15:10]

Believe me, there’s nothing beautiful about me right now.

Joon [15:11]

Lies. How are you feeling?

She squints and begins replying, but her headache persists. Giving up, she calls him, setting the phone on speaker and walking over to the kitchen. He picks up on the second ring.

"Hey." 

She can hear the smile in his voice, and despite the horridness of her cold, it makes her feel slightly better.

"Sorry, I couldn't look at the screen any longer," she says thickly, placing it on the counter and retrieving a mug from a cabinet. "My head's pounding."

"Shit." In the background, she can hear the faint honking of a car. "It's that bad?"

"Remember how you pretended to pass out after I made you try that shrimp fried rice?”

“I remember crab and tuna being in there, too,” replies Namjoon calmly. “But that’s still pretty bad. Don’t you think you should go to a doctor?”

Kaya shakes her head immediately, wincing at the stinging pain in the middle of her forehead before she remembers that he can’t see her. “No, it’s not that bad. Yet,” she adds doubtfully. “And I don’t have the time for it, so I’m just making some green tea. Apparently it helps. Oh, and Aspirin.” When another honk emanates through the speaker, she frowns. “Are you driving?”

“No… I take my test next weekend,” he says sheepishly.

She chuckles. “I’m so proud,” she says, only partly joking. “Call me in case you need a pep talk?”

“I’m an expert at pep talks, I’ll have you know.”

“At giving them, maybe. These pep talks are different,” she informs him, tearing open a packet and shaking out the tea bag. “It’s a different kind of encouragement you need when you’re handling a machine that can actually kill a person.”

“Not helping,” he says. “I’m on my way to dinner. I’m super late and everyone’s already ordered…” He sighs heavily. “I really hope they haven’t got clams.”

“That’s rough, babe.”

“Shut up,” he mutters, but she can hear the chuckle in his voice. “Do you have any Aspirin in the house?”

“Yeah,” she answers, mimicking his sigh, “I just have to figure out how to get to it. Either my super tall friend or my super tall boyfriend left it there the last time they came over,” she says deliberately, sniffling into the sleeve of her hoodie.

Namjoon chuckles again. “I swear, baby, your super tall boyfriend didn’t touch that Aspirin. Oh, and before you try it,” he says quickly, a mild panic in his voice, “please don’t try to climb on the bathroom counter? Especially when you’re sick.”

Kaya rolls her eyes, instantly feeling her head spin again. “Of course not." A notification pops up on her screen and she suddenly remembers something. "Okay, wait, I think Mark’s out today. Maybe I'll ask him to pick some on his way back," she mutters, typing out a message to him.

"And Mark is…"

"My neighbour. Blond hair, army jacket? Looks like Matt Damon from The Departed?" she prompts. "You met him, when we were on our way out to dinner."

"Right." There's a pause during which she can hear the faint sound of a car zoom by. "I was confusing him with Maxim. That's the guy who dropped you back from campus that night, right?"

"Yeah, the new TA," she answers absently, scrolling through her phone. "Okay, Mark isn't responding."

"Is there anyone else you can call?" The underlying concern creeps in, and she feels herself smile in spite of herself.

"I can take care of myself," she reasons calmly. "He'll respond eventually. Even if it's late. I just really need that Aspirin to work," she groans.

Namjoon doesn't follow the change of topic, though. "Are you sure it’s a good idea to let some guy into your apartment in the middle of the night?" he asks, and this time the concern is unmistakable. "Especially when you’re weak and sick?"

"I'm not weak and sick," she says, rolling her eyes and dipping the tea bag into the cup of hot water. "I mean, I'm feeling weak and I am sick…" He's silent and she can almost visualize him raising an eyebrow knowingly. "And it's just Mark. He helped me fix my router, too, remember?"

"Uh-huh."

"Joon?"

"Yeah?"

Kaya takes the phone off speaker and brings it to her ear, turning around to lean back against the kitchen counter. "Trust me, I won't be inviting anyone into this toxic petri dish of germs for a few days now."

She can hear his smile through the phone. "That's what I like to hear." There's a beep through the phone followed by a rustle before his voice comes back. "Kaya, can I call you later, baby? I'm getting a call from Sera."

"Wow. PR agent trumps girlfriend, I see."

"That is not true," he says immediately, sounding rather like he's rolling his eyes. "There’s just that interview tomorrow and it’s an English one so there will be a lot of briefing for the other members."

Kaya snickers, the first time she's felt like doing so all day. "I'm kidding, babe. Sick people can make jokes too, you know?"

"You're hilarious."

"Go on, then, music producer," she says, sighing and picking up her mug of tea and heading back to the dining table. "I should call Mark too."

"Alright, love you. Feel better, baby."

His last words sound like there's a hug to follow and for a moment, Kaya is immensely disappointed that she can't get one, not while she's in Amsterdam and he's in Seoul. She simply sighs, hating being sick all over again. "I’ll do my best," she mumbles, trying not to whine as he chuckles and hangs up 

Kaya is sick and Namjoon is in a hurry, and neither of them notice.

She tries to stick to her word, though. She never does manage to retrieve the Aspirin but she drinks a second cup of green tea and moves to her tiny balcony with her laptop, hoping the fresh air might help her some. The glare of the screen is still too much, though, especially since her work for the day involves reading through assignments handed in by her thesis advisor’s post grad students. It’s dull work, especially since this particular class seems to be filled with absolute idiots - or that’s the way it feels today. 

The wifi signal struggles to reach the balcony, too, and around late afternoon, once it starts raining, she gives up. Shuffling back into her apartment with her laptop in one hand and coffee mug clutched to her chest with the other, she gives it another go before she has to get on a call with her advisor and his junior TA, Maxim, which also comes to a close quite soon.

“Kaya, I can barely understand you.” Professor Lloyd clutches the bridge of his nose. Kaya, whose video is mercifully turned off, opens her mouth to speak but is swiftly cut off. “You sound like you’re talking through a wall, dear,” he adds kindly, and to that, she has no response.

“But -”

“Sleep it off, and you can get a download from Maxim tomorrow.” Without giving her a chance to reply, he logs her out of the meeting.

Stumped, Kaya slams the lid of her laptop shut. Too tired to get off the couch, however, she stays there, feeling as though every limb could fall off any moment. She doesn’t wake up until hours later, and even that’s only because Mark calls her, informing her that his girlfriend might come over later that evening and if she does, could Kaya please hand over his spare key?

“Sure,” she answers groggily, coughing into the sleeve of her hoodie. 

“Are you okay?”

“No, I feel like I could die, honestly.”

“What?” There’s a note of panic in his voice. “What are you talking about? What happened?”

“Nothing, it’s… it’s just a cold,” she mutters, feeling her face clog worse than ever. “Could you… pick me up some Aspirin or something on your way back?” she asks, realising only as she says it that her headache has indeed disappeared after her nap, but everything else hurts twofold. “You know what? Forget it.”

“Are you sure? I could get it."

She bites her lip. “That would be great, actually. No pressure. I’ll give Emma the key.”

“Okay, then. And thanks,” he says. “Let me know if you need anything else.”

Kaya makes a non-committal noise before hanging up, feeling hideous. She attempts a shower where she wonders briefly if the fifteen minute window of hot water is enough for her to drown herself. That’s followed by a rather sad dinner of ramen - courtesy Namjoon, who’d insisted on having a box of ready–to-cook ramen in her apartment for emergencies - and whose only purpose is sustenance until she wakes up the next morning. 

The TV is a no-go, the volume either too low or too high. She even opens her laptop again but after reading the first email in her inbox (Hi Kaya, I just wanted to check if you’ve had a chance to go through my paper yet. I’ve quoted Ayn Rand in a couple of places and I was just wondering if Professor Lloyd would find that a bit too self-serving, given my main argument? If you could let me know what his reaction would be so I can change it, that would be fantastic. Regards, Matthew), she resists the urge to reply with a single “No”, and simply switches off her laptop.

It's a little after midnight when she finally resigns herself to bed, in the irritating position of being simultaneously exhausted yet wide awake. Wrapped in a blanket and a college hoodie, she props her phone up against the pillow next to hers, trying not to think about how it ought to be occupied by a certain someone now more than ever, and switches on an episode of Modern Family, hugging a box of tissues.

One and a half episodes in, the video gets cut off by an incoming call. Her annoyance lasts half a second before she realises who it is. Answering it with her knuckle, she snuggles further into her blanket, her heart flipping when she hears his voice.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

Kaya buries her face further into the pillow. "Like crap," she groans, voice muffled. "What are you doing up? Isn't it, like, the crack of dawn over there?"

"Um… no, it's almost seven-thirty."

"Perfect." She sniffles, emerging and wiping her nose with the crumpled tissue in her hand. "My brain is broken. I'm officially ill."

Namjoon snickers, and almost involuntarily, her heart skips a beat. "Baby, your brain is fine. Did you check if you have a fever? You look like you're sweating a bit."

"No, that's the VapoRub on my - wait how can you -" Kaya finally looks at her phone screen and gasps. "Oh, my God, you video called me?" She immediately hitches the blanket upto her nose. "What the hell, Namjoon?"

"What did I - you answered it!" he exclaims, eyes widening. 

Finally able to look at the screen without flinching, she takes note of her boyfriend; white long-sleeved t-shirt on, hair a soft brown and falling messily into his eyes. She leans slightly forward and squints.

"Are you at the studio? This early?" 

“Home studio,” he corrects her. “I have to make a few edits to this track and the rest of the day is going to be all about that interview.” He stifles a yawn into his hand. “Just waiting for my computer to turn on.”

Kaya groans again. “You can’t see me like this - I’m all gross and sick. Can’t we switch to regular call?”

“What? No! Kaya, you look fine. You’re -”

“Do not say I’m beautiful,” she interrupts him forcefully, hating and loving how comforting he looks with his bed head and broad chest. “I’m hideous,” she laments, burying her face into the blanket again.

Namjoon snorts. “This is a new side of you,” he comments, chuckling when she peeks out again in horror.

“It is. I’m ill,” she states dramatically, pushing her glasses up her nose. “And it’s too early in our relationship for you to see me like this, so I’m switching to -”

“No, Kaya - no.” He shakes his head, looking completely serious now. “Come on, I haven’t seen your face in three days, okay? I miss you.”

It’s the only thing that can give her pause. Sighing heavily, she tugs the blanket down to her chest. “I hate you. And I miss you, too.” When he grins, she can’t help but smile, too, even though she tries to suppress it. “I hate being sick,” she grumbles. “I look and feel like a troll.”

“You still have Disney princess eyes.”

“Like Cinderella before the fairy godmother?”

“You think she was in a ball gown and make-up for the rest of their lives?” He grimaces. “The prince would’ve been into her even in sweats and glasses.”

Kaya chuckles. “And you’re the prince in this scenario?”

“He wanted someone who could fit into the glass slipper, I wanted someone who could discuss Norwegian Wood with me without bringing up the movie.”

“High expectations, Mr Kim.”

“You fulfilled them all, Miss Madaan.” He smiles, making her heart do a backflip. “And more.”

Kaya bites her lip, suddenly wanting him here more than ever, despite her complaints. “I really hate being sick,” she murmurs, sniffling.

Resting his chin on his palm, he tosses his hair out of his eyes. “It’s uncomfortable, I know,” he says sympathetically.

“No, it’s not that. I just become this whining, bitching, moaning mess - which is so unlike me,” she adds, rolling her eyes. “And I fall into this spiral of self-pity and I cry at the dumbest things. Honestly, I miss you, but I’m kind of glad you aren’t around to see me in this state,” she tells him, dabbing at her nose with a tissue again.

“Well, it’s been three months into this relationship and I haven’t found a reason to break up with you yet,” he says seriously.

“I’d like to keep it that way.” Cracking a small smile, she tries to settle in a bit more comfortably. “How’d you sleep? You’re up early.”

“Yeah -” Namjoon leans back in his chair and stretches, and the momentary longing to be on his lap right then is intense. “There’s some construction that’s been going on here for, like, an hour. And the studio is soundproof, so…” He shrugs before looking up. “You remember, don’t you?” 

Despite the cold, she bites her lip at the memory, a warmth coursing up her neck. “I remember,” she says softly, nodding.

“Yeah, well. There’s some drilling going on somewhere and this is the only place where I can’t hear it.” He shakes his head. “It’s like a… like a sanctuary of my life’s work in the middle of the world’s most mundane events.”

Kaya stares. “Wow. That’s poetic, babe.”

“Nah, I can do better.” He waves a hand dismissively. “What about you? What did you do all day? Did you ever get that Aspirin?”

“Not yet, but I don’t have a headache anymore either,” she replies, tucking a greasy strand of hair behind her ear. “Now it’s just hot and cold flushes, along with the inability to breathe through my nose.” As if on cue, she sniffles. “It’s awesome.”

“Did you get any sleep? You know it’s important,” he says knowingly.

She narrows her eyes. “Such a hypocrite,” she mutters, and he grins bashfully. “Yeah, I did, actually. Right after I got kicked off a Skype call. Can you imagine?”

“You did what? What were you even doing on a Skype call when you’re sick, Kaya?” he demands, his tone part exasperated and part disapproving.

“I was working!” she exclaims. “Until Professor, uh… oh, what the fuck is his name?” she mutters, trailing off and shutting her eyes.

“I want to say Floyd?”

“Right. Lloyd.” She shakes her head. “He told me to sleep it off. Said I sounded like a truck or something.”

Namjoon raises an eyebrow. “Really? He said that?”

“Well… not exactly those words. But it’s in the same ballpark.”

“Isn’t it a good thing he’s telling you to take the day off?”

“Well, sure, but my deadline isn’t getting pushed back at all.” She turns over onto her back and runs a hand over her face. “This cold has to get better by tomorrow or I’m going to be working all through the weekend. Doesn’t help that this set of assignments is handed in by absolute morons,” she adds unfairly.

“Weren’t you one of those morons? About a year ago?”

“Excuse me,” she declares coldly. “I never handed in assigments over WhatsApp. And I had the foresight to do a damn spell check and not misspell Nietzsche, like an imbecile.” She sighs. “I told you I’m a nightmare when I’m sick,” she mumbles, turning over onto her side again to face him. "It's incredibly unattractive."

He smiles adoringly, though, his dimple popping. “It’s alright. I love you even when you're a nightmare."

There's a pause before several things happen at once. The words click in her mind the same time that Namjoon's eyes widen before he sighs.

"Did you just -"

"Not how I was planning it, but…" He shrugs, looking far less horrified than she feels. 

"You - you can't -" Kaya kicks her blanket aside weakly as she struggles to straighten up a bit, pushing her glasses up her nose. "Joon, what did you do?" she groans.

"What are you talking about?"

"You can't say that for the first time when I'm like this!"

Namjoon's face relaxes. "It wasn't on purpose, but it's true," he reasons.

"Well… take it back!"

"What? No! I'm not going to take it back," he argues, rolling his eyes. "I meant it."

Trying to ignore how her heart leaps at his words, she groans again. "Come on, Joon, not like this!"

"Why not? Just because you have a cold, I can't tell you I love -"

"Stop! Oh, God!" Kaya covers her face, whining as she hears him laugh. "I hate you so much, Kim Namjoon."

"Not the sentiment I was going for, but I love you, Kaya Madaan."

"Shut up."

"Feel free to say it back, by the way."

"Absolutely not," she declares, dropping her hands and glaring at him. "I'm going to wait until you're at your absolute worst to say it back."

He snorts, laughing even harder now, looking more handsome than ever. "Really? What's that going to look like?"

"I don't know. Seokjin told me you fall down a lot, so maybe one of those times?"

"I used to fall down a lot," he corrects her. "I’m a lot more coordinated now. Wait, so does this mean I'm going to have to wait until we're physically together to hear it?"

"Probably," she says icily, adjusting her blankets with a vengeance now. "And you have no one but yourself to blame."

He considers it for a moment. "I don't regret it," he decides.

She rolls her eyes when the doorbell rings. "Oh, that must be Mark," she mutters, sitting up awkwardly and climbing off the bed.

"Now?" Namjoon frowns as she picks up the phone on her way out. He checks his watch, jaw clenching slightly. "It's really late, Kaya."

"Yeah, well, he got back late, I guess," she murmurs, wiping at her nose with her sleeve. "It's Aspirin, I'll need it." She stops before opening the door and looks back at the screen. "I'll talk to you later? Think I'll just knock myself out with a pill."

"Be careful." He sighs, leaning back in his chair. "I miss you."

Kaya bites her lip, leaning back similarly against her front door and holding the phone up. "I miss you, too. I'm coming to Seoul next month, though," she says lightly.

"For a week," he adds, before shaking his head. "Sorry. It's better than nothing."

"It is." 

"Feel better. I love you," he adds after a moment, smirking.

"Oh, God," she mutters, this time completely failing at hiding her smile as her stomach does a backflip and her mind begins wandering into dangerous territory, such as how it would feel to hear those words in person, possibly with his arms around her, maybe with his lips at her ear, deep voice saying it for no one but her.

Namjoon is still grinning, clearly amused by this unexpected reaction. "Nothing you want to say?"

"Aspirin," she says blankly, making a show of moving away from the door and placing her hand on the knob.

"Alright, then. Bye."

"Aspirin."

He tilts his head, dimple popping. "I love you."

She nods, swallowing. "Yeah... Aspirin," she tells him, softer this time, before hanging up.

—

Thank you for reading. Don't forget to drop a review :)

Tagging: @kflixnet @k-radio @ggukkieland @bbl32

[ibis-gt]

*slides you 37 pennies* how would luther handle trying to go on a public date with cam (movie, restaurant, etc.) with the whole… affection turns height to no.

had two requests for this one so here u go! luther does his best to keep it together for date night. 2750 words, warning for brief mention of violence in a movie and some hanky panky between consenting adults. not explicit, just a little spicy.

~~~

Four months into their relationship, and Luther has more of a handle on things now.

He’s got the size thing totally under control. He hardly ever shrinks just because Cam looked at him anymore. He can take a compliment like a champion. Those soft, sweet, gentle smiles that spread across Cam’s face like molasses? Barely make him lose an inch. Physical contact? He’s… still working on that one.

But at the very least they can have date nights in public now, as long as Cam behaves himself, and Cam is quite willing to behave himself. Most of the time.

It’s a snowy Saturday night in December, and they’ve got a date planned. Cam will pick Luther up at eight, they’ll go have dinner at a local sushi place, watch a late night special feature from the 80s, and then come back home for some wine and light snuggling before bed. An absolutely perfect night, if Luther can make it through enough of it full-size.

He’s still debating his outfit when a gentle knock at his front door heralds his beloved’s arrival. Five minutes early as usual.

“It’s open!” Luther calls. “C’mon in and help me choose, will you?” He’s standing in his bedroom in a pair of black slacks with the horrid green jumpsuit undone and tied around his waist, staring critically at his two choices of top. A lovely turquoise turtleneck, or a stylish electric blue button-up. The floor creaks behind him as Cam ambles in. “Which one do you think is better? I guess it depends on what you’re wear - eep!”

Luther squeaks and jumps as Cam presses his lips to Luther’s neck, big warm hands sliding up his arms to rest on his bare shoulders, sending an involuntary shiver down his spine.

“Both look nice,” Cam murmurs in his ear. “But I think I like the blue one better.”

“C-cam,” Luther whines, his face going pink. “If you keep this up we’re not even going to get out the door.” The hands remove themselves, and Cam pulls back, chuckling.

“Sorry. Couldn’t help myself. All that exposed real estate, you know.” He lets out a perfect wolf whistle. God damn him. Luther glares over his shoulder and folds his arms, letting annoyance take over.

“We’ve been planning this for weeks, and you’re going to ruin it,” he pouts. “Go on, out. Wait in the living room if you’re going to be like this.” Cam puts his hands up in a placating gesture and retreats, but that damn smile doesn’t leave his face. Luther tosses his hair and huffs, secretly proud of himself. He didn’t even lose a half inch. He turns back to consider his options.

Well, if Cam is so focused on his neck tonight, that sweater might be the better option to afford him some protection. But he said he liked the button-up better… It’s lighter than the sweater so it won’t keep him as warm, but that means he can steal Cam’s big coat later on. The turtleneck would completely cover the green jumpsuit, but the blue of the button-up actually compliments it nicely. Luther nods decisively. The button-up will be perfect.

He dresses quickly, gives himself a final once-over in the mirror, unbuttons his top button, and heads out to see Cam. His boyfriend - his boyfriend! The thought still sends a thrill through him - has picked up the cat, Scrunge, and is stroking her head, making little baby noises at her. She purrs in her usual way, fast and loud, like a revving motorcycle. Cam sets her down when he sees Luther and sighs happily.

“You look fantastic,” he says.

“You clean up pretty nice yourself.” Luther crosses the room and fondly brushes a loose strand of hair behind Cam’s ear. Cam’s in a dark grey v-neck shirt and black suit jacket, slightly tarnished silver cufflinks adorning the sleeves. He’s got his big heavy winter coat draped over one arm so he doesn’t overheat in the relative warmth of the apartment. Luther sneaks a covetous little glance at it before grabbing his own shabby coat off a hook near the door.

He bends down to give Scrunge a goodbye scritch behind the ears. “Behave yourself while I’m out,” he tells her. “No tearing around the place and knocking things over.” She meows plaintively. Luther retrieves her bag of treats and gives her two as a bribe, which she accepts happily.

“Okay,” Luther says, straightening and shrugging on his coat. “Ready?”

“Ready,” Cam says, and takes his hand.

They walk to the restaurant. No point in searching for parking, it’d take longer than just hoofing it anyway. It’s been snowing on and off throughout the week and piles of dirty slush cover the sidewalk. It’s cold, but Luther’s coat is keeping him warm enough for now. He and Cam hold hands as they walk to the restaurant, and Luther doesn’t even shrink a little bit. His chest swells with so much pride he thinks his feet might leave the ground.

The place is only a little busy, so they have a short wait before they’re shown to their table. They get their usual orders. Luther prefers simple rolls and nigiri so the taste of the fish is front and center, while Cam likes to get the complicated, loaded rolls for the variety of texture and flavor. While they wait for their food to arrive, Luther fills Cam in on Scrunge’s latest reign of terror in his apartment, and how much it’ll cost to fix the cracked frame of the painting she’d somehow managed to knock off the wall in her frenzy to catch the fabled red laser dot.

The food arrives. Cam offers Luther a taste of his rolls - he’s gotten something deep fried with cream cheese, cucumber, and crab, and another loaded high with four kinds of fish, topped with roe. Luther tries the one with all the fish, but passes on the deep fried one. He trades Cam a piece of mackerel nigiri. Then he continues on talking, telling Cam about his week, how work’s been, the new guy they hired, and the annoying new habit his coworker’s formed of singing along with the music on the jukebox, regardless of whether she knows the lyrics or not.

Luther suddenly catches the look in Cam’s eyes. There’s something… hungry in them. It’s the only way he can describe it. It’s not regular hungry, because he’s practically ignoring his food in favor of listening intently to Luther’s rambling story. He’s leaning forward, arms folded on the table in front of him, drinking in every word Luther has to say. He’s hungry for him. The realization hits Luther like a truck and he stops mid-sentence, jaw dropping, a blush starting to spread across his face.

“What’s wrong?” Cam asks, innocent as ever. How could he even know the effect he has on Luther? How could Luther ever explain?

“N-nothing, um, I… I’ve been talking a lot, why don’t you take over for a bit? What’s keeping you busy at work?” It was delightful to listen to Cam ramble on about his job. Luther barely understood a word of it, but his enthusiasm was adorable and, importantly, not about Luther. He could keep it together and breathe a bit, work on calming down the scramble of emotion in his gut.

Sure enough, he wins himself a good fifteen minutes of calm while Cam talks on about carburetors and mufflers and manifolds. He could be making it up for all Luther knows. It’s not until Cam realizes his deep fried roll has gone cold that he breaks off to eat. They finish their food, decide to pass on dessert, pay, and head for the theater.

It’s only a few blocks away, a fifteen minute walk at most. The night has gotten a little colder and darker, and now stray snowflakes drift and spin through the air, catching the streetlights and twinkling like stars. Cam has a lot of fun pretending he’s a dragon, his warm breath turning to steaming clouds in the freezing air. Luther’s shivering now, his old secondhand coat doing little to protect him from the chill. Cam notices, of course, and whips his own coat off in an instant.

“Oh, please,” Luther demurs, “You’re so chivalrous, but really, I’m fine.”

“You’re shaking like a weathervane in a hurricane, sweetheart. I’ll be fine, I’m my own space heater.” Cam arranges the coat over Luther’s shoulders neatly and slips his arm around Luther’s waist, pulling him in close. It’s so warm and so nice, and so very, very close. Luther’s shivers slacken and cease, and then one more shakes him, different from the rest.

“Oh no,” Luther whispers, “I was doing so well, please…”

Luckily, he only loses about three inches. His clothes are a little looser, and he’s engulfed a little more by Cam’s huge coat, but he’s still a perfectly normal height. He sighs in relief.

“So what’s this movie we’re seeing?” Luther asks, trying to take his mind off of things.

“Oh, so it’s this old sci fi cult classic based on a book no one’s ever read. I saw it the first time when I was like… eight? And it scarred me for life, really, and now I’m obsessed with this shit. The special effects are super gnarly, and they hold up okay, even though you can totally see the tube for the fake blood in the decapitation scene. Don’t worry too much about following the plot, it’s not really the point of the movie, but what you should know ahead of time is…”

Cam rambles on like that, filling the night with fog. Luther snuggles in closer and listens happily, totally at ease. He made it through the most important part of the night, and once they get in the theater, he can relax. It doesn’t matter if he shrinks in the theater - from what Cam’s said, the only people watching this late-night special feature will be die-hard fans who’ll be glued to the screen, and in the darkness they won’t have to worry about anyone catching sight of them.

That also means, of course, that Cam might get a little handsy once the lights dim. If he’s being honest, Luther would be disappointed if he didn’t.

They get a seat in the back row. As the previews start up, Cam reaches over and takes Luther’s chin in his hand, turning it gently so they face each other. For a moment, he just holds them there, staring into Luther’s eyes with an adoring softness that makes Luther’s heart sing. Then he leans in and kisses him, just once, softly on the mouth. Luther shivers and loses another few inches. Cam lets him go, but Luther’s not satisfied. He grabs Cam’s collar and pulls him down for another kiss, this one deeper and hungrier. Cam chuckles against his mouth and nips at his bottom lip, catching it between his teeth for just a moment. Luther sits back heavily in his seat, breath coming in shallow gasps. He grips his armrests tight, trying to pay attention to the trailer for the newest slasher flick as it blares out through the theater. No dice. He’s losing height fast now, shrinking down to four feet tall, his normal clothes hanging off his frame.

They stay apart for all of a minute before Cam’s hand sneaks across the seat and slides into place on Luther’s thigh. He strokes his thumb back and forth in a slow rhythm, humming happily. Luther gasps and shrinks more, staring wide-eyed as Cam’s hand covers more and more of him, soon easily encompassing his entire thigh.

He’s maybe two feet tall now and he can’t see the screen over the seat in front of him. Cam glances down, catching the pouting, grumpy look on Luther’s face, and presses a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter.

“Here, sweetheart,” Cam murmurs, and picks Luther up with one hand. With the other, he frees him from his clothing so that he’s only clad in the jumpsuit. Cam settles Luther gently on his lap. This has fixed the problem of not being able to see the screen, but only momentarily. Luther goes bright red and dwindles down even further. By the time the previews have finished, he’s only eight inches tall.

As the opening theme blares with discordant trumpets, Cam pinches the back of Luther’s jumpsuit between thumb and forefinger and lifts him up. He dangles Luther in front of his face for a moment, expression torn between adoring and apologetic, then brings him in close for a gentle kiss. He sets Luther on his shoulder and hands him a piece of popcorn.

Luther hides his burning face behind the buttery morsel. He’d been expecting a little hanky panky, but nothing so direct. Stolen kisses, maybe a fake yawn that disguised Cam putting his arm around Luther, a little playing with his hair. Going for the thigh like that… that was entirely unexpected. He’s beginning to suspect Cam was trying to get him tiny.

The movie is just as gory and weird as promised. Luther isn’t super squeamish, but more than once he turns and ducks his face into Cam’s neck, squealing in disgust, his voice quiet enough at this size that he doesn’t have to worry about disturbing anyone else. Every time, he feels Cam shake under him with silent laughter, enjoying Luther’s reactions.

The movie ends before too long, and the other theatergoers file out, chatting animatedly with one another about the flick. Cam holds his hand up to his chest, and Luther pushes himself off Cam’s shoulder, landing gracefully in his palm. Cam sets him down on the armrest while he folds up Luther’s discarded clothing and tucks it in an inner pocket of his big coat. He looks down at Luther and tilts his head to one side, lips pursed in a calculating expression.

“You’re just a little too big to hide comfortably… here, let’s fix that.” Cam puts his elbows on either side of Luther on the armrest and looms over him, completely blocking the dim theater lights overhead. Luther takes a few involuntary steps back and bumps up against Cam’s hands, linked together behind him to form a ring penning him in. “You’re all mine now,” Cam breathes, quiet as a whisper. “So tiny and cute. I’m going to put you in my pocket and carry you home, and then… well, then we’ll see what I’ll do with you, hm?” A crooked, meaningful grin spreads across Cam’s face, and that hungry look comes back into his eyes.

It works like a charm. Luther’s legs shake, his heart pounds, and he shivers. He dwindles down to half his height, a mere four inches.

“There we go,” Cam croons, and scoops him up in one hand. Cam stows him safely in his coat pocket, held in a loose fist to keep him safe from jostling and the cold. He exits the theater and moves through the crowds easily. People tend to make way when they see a man his size coming towards them.

Luther curls up against Cam’s fingers and sighs happily. Cam’s hand is warm, calloused in places but soft in others, and the pocket sways gently with his gait. It’s so safe and cozy, combined with the late hour and the exhaustion of the day, it’s the perfect recipe to knock him out. He fights the heaviness of his eyelids as long as he can, but only makes it a few blocks before he’s fast asleep.

~~~

“Whew, cold one out tonight,” Cam says as he unlocks the door to Luther’s apartment. He can already hear Scrunge wailing on the other side. “I hope you weren’t too frozen in there.” He pushes the door open and addresses the cat. “Yes, we’re home, hello darling, we missed you too.” She winds around his legs and purr-meows at top volume. “Okay, okay, other people are trying to sleep,” Cam hisses. “You’re gonna wake up the whole floor, shitty kitty.” She mrrps in disapproval.

He pulls Luther out of his pocket. “So, babe, do you wanna - oh.” The little dear is asleep, snoring softly. Cam smiles and presses a kiss to his chest. He takes a seat on the couch, sighing as he plops himself down. Scrunge leaps up into his lap immediately and puts her front legs up on his chest, sniffing at Luther in his hand.

“Poor dear’s all tuckered out,” Cam murmurs, giving her a scritch. “Let’s let him rest.”

[jeeperso]

D&D Quotes Without Context

Treasure Island Edition, Chapter 11

"I told you Mary, my alchemy jug doesn't make butter. It does make Mayonnaise though, so seafood salad is always an option." “I’m beginning to wish I’d let my girlfriend in sophomore year convert me to vegetarianism.” "Ded try that, once. Then vegetables fight back. Ded not see difference." "Sadly as a fantasy brit, I am legally required to A) have a 90% meat based diet, and B) Be absolutely horrid at cooking." “Let’s get this crab bake done. I got brownie orders to fill.” Janus shifts into Archie and pulls out his axe. "I AM a giant shell cracker." “I saw an all purpose cutting tool at college once. They said it was ‘an elegant weapon for a more civilized age.’ I’m pretty sure they were just a snob.” "There's no such thing as a civilized weapon. Weapons are for when civility fails." "And passive aggression is for making civility fail." Janus: "No no, I teach natural sciences and arcane theorem." Archie: "And SKULL CRUSHIN." Janus: "Yes thank you Archie." "I proofread ifreeti-penned fanfiction."

"Its a step up from logging Zeus' scrying history." "Ded think about being teacher. But Ded's friend Undead say teachers make terrible money. So Ded go into more lucrative profession of pirate." MJ hands out brownies in case anyone needs to die happy. "What I wouldn't give for a halfling with a cursed ghost ring..." "I wouldn't use those, they tend to make you paranoid." "Look alive dudes, we got giant enemy crab incoming!" “Attack it’s weak point for massive damage!” Tamatoa rises from the ground. He is big. He is bad. And most of all he is...

Janus lets out a resigned sigh. "Oh dear this one is gonna be a talker."

Magnus: "Sweet Alhazred, it's getting closer!" Janus: "Dammit Magnus, you at MJ's brownie before we came in didn't you?" MJ: “I said to save that for when he kills you!” "Good afternoon Mr. Tamatoa, we represent the IRS, we're here to collect on your back taxes." Archie leans over to Magnus "IRS stands for 'Idiots rendered severely.'. I may workshop that acronym. Oh better idea: Idiots ripped to shreds." "Have it your way. Time to find out that the only two inevitabilities in life are death and taxes." "I prefer death, she is a nice girl once you get used to her. Taxes is a bit rude and hates small talk." "Ded think Ded meet her once. She look at Ded funny and then leave." "Well there goes our special effects budget for the campaign. The skeleton is a nice touch though." Magnus: "<Another profane rant involving corgis and something about indecisive mollusks.>" GM OOC: Archie is after Cookie if you want to get ready to go ham. OOC: Oh don't worry Ham going is incoming. "You are just full of surprises. Are you a Leprechaun? You have to tell us if you're a Leprechaun those are the rules." "Oh no, he robbed the jewelry store and told them to make him a grill. AND THEY DID." "CRAB BATTLE!" Tamatoa turns to Amber and opens his maw, writhing tentacles emerge and lash out at her. Janus blinks. "Was not expecting that." MJ: “….I’m calling demi-human resources…” *fuck him up for stealing my niche iguana noises*! "Yeah, remember that troll that was holding those talking ponies hostage?" He's back in the naughty warlock box. “This crab has crabs! No wonder he’s mad! No lady crab would date him!” "Medic! Archie needs help and fast!" "Someone get me that special shampoo." “I’ve got Lady Jonni’s body wash! Burn those critters right off!” "Tiny crabs, I bid you, GET THE FUCK OFF ME." The Tiny Crabs obey the will of he who bears the trident and get the fuck off you. "NO! I CAN'T DIE! I'M MUCH... TOO...SHIney...." Looking to the cultist. “So… you goonion?” "If I am does that mean I get out of here with my skin?" “I’m gonna take that as a no… so, you need to talk to DHR.” "... I'm not sure this crab... would actually taste that good.. its probably stringy and judging by its choice of fashion? Tasteless..." "Agreed. It does not matter if one covers themselves with riches if one is of a weak character." “Tell that to my student loans.” OOC: Also why isn't intimidate a Barbarian skill? OOC2: Because most GMs let you roll with advantage when you’re covered in blood.

OOC: And where I’m from anyone doing that while holding a US flag is someone you back away from very, VERY, slowly. OOC2: Don't you live in Alaska? OOC: Yes. OOC2: Pretty sure if someone tried that there they must be part Aesir as to resist the cold weather. I'd back away too.

[gallawitchxx]

i have been absolutely horrid at tag games this week, so here's DOUBLE WHAMMY of tag game tuesday by the incomparable @celestialmickey & also the comfort tag started by the brilliant @shameless-notashamed 🖤 i was tagged by so many beloveds & i won't bug you all, but thank you for including meeee!

✨ WAY too much info about me can be found under the cut ✨

tag game tuesday 💫

type your name without looking: bee (oh hell yeah)

do you prefer hot weather or cold weather? hot baby hot!

what’s your favorite place you’ve ever traveled? i love me some paris, but santorini was pretty swell too!

breakfast, lunch, or dinner? dinner! i'm a notorious coffee until a late lunch kind of a gal! ☕️

do you have any kids? if not, do you want some? naw, not for me. i'm even a pretty aloof aunt hahaha. it's not them, it's me 💗

something you’d like to learn this year: oooh, i'd really like to learn to do digital drawing/art. watch this space lol.

favorite social media app besides tumblr: instagram, but at this point it's stockholmy, ya know? 🙃

who is someone you admire? i really admire our newest supreme court justice for not only her lifetime of dedicated work, but also for surviving those awful confirmation hearings!

tell me something you’re looking forward to: seeing my childhood besties this summer for my birthday! 🥰

finally, tell me something that makes you happy: the little life that i've created with my wife, which now includes all of you babes 🖤

- - - - -

comfort tag 💗

song: "long ride home" by patty griffin

band: augustana

movie: 10 things i hate about you

actress: helen mirren

actor: joseph gordon-levitt

tv show: brooklyn 99

concert video: omg i have no idea, but it's probably from a broadway show tbh lol

book: the alchemist by paulo coehlo

author: cheryl strayed

poem: [i carry your heart with me] by ee cummings

character: mickey baby & also nick miller

piece of clothing: my tie-dye sweatsuit!

meal: crab rangoons & drunken noodles

snack: fig bars

drink: coffee, always hot

animal: chipmunks? chipmunks.

room: my office or my bed, both are sacred spaces

[bbugyu]

I’m visiting Seattle for the first time end of September, do you have any recs? I can’t drink until next year so no bars haha. also any super pretty places for pics? :)

also, thank you for your fics💛

omg!!! have so much fun!!! here's doki's patented seattle travel guide:

i suggest getting an orca transit hi card and familiarizing yourself with the lightrail system!!! its way cheaper and easier than lyfting or ubering and runs through most of the major areas of seattle.

if you're mostly staying around the downtown area, pier 57 and pike place are genuinely very beautiful, and the surrounding areas (westlake, pioneer square, international district) have so many fun shops and restaurants. if you have interest in pop culture, i suggest the mopop! literally just a pop culture museum with a bunch of photo ops if that's ur gig. it's my favorite!!! and seattle center (where it's located) isn't too far from downtown. you can take the monorail! it's honestly worth spending a whole day at seattle center if you have the time and weather permits.

pike's place is fun too! it's best on weekday mornings. all the stalls pack up around 4 so definitely get there well before that. try to go early in your trip so you can get all the fresh fruits and snacks to munch on back at ur lodgings!!!!

capitol hill is the most seattle neighborhood of seattle, so i definitely suggest making a trip up on the lightrail if you can. super good food, a bunch of fun stores, super gay. there's a big ol skate park next to my favorite karaoke place and a taco stand across the street i know you wont be 21 but im telling you its the best spot to be when you are

my fave coffee shop is called ghost alley espresso, it's in the same alley as the horrid gum wall but i promise it's the best espresso. the crumpet shoppe is good for coffee and pastry type breakfasts! biscuit bitch does biscuit gravy grit combos that are absolutely killer, but they're slammed on weekends.

all my favorite lunch/dinner spots are in international district. there's a japanese fusion place called fort st. george, dim sum at jade garden, and korean bbq at baegopa. ivar's acres of clams is on pier 57 and is great for seafood (NOT CRAB POT). nana's green tea does cute japanese cafe stuff, and is in the south lake union area. that area in general houses a lot of tech companies so the area is very high end and clean and rich lol there's a shitton of great restaurants if you're willing to spend some money

hope that helps! if you or anyone has any other questions or wants specifics, let me know

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Protea (Part 7)

Mai hasn’t stopped by yet, Snapdragon supposes that it is just as well, she hasn’t finished her gift yet. It is quite simple but she is still proud of it. She hopes that Mai will enjoy it as much as she is thrilled to be making it.

So far the necklace has six charms, a very vividly colored paradise-peacock feather, a small elephant-rat paw bone, a naturally polished and very shiny stone with a hole in it, an aged fork, a clam shell, and one of several old coins that she had found buried in the jungles of Hira’a.

She thinks that the cord can hole at least one more trinket and a few beads. She scampers through her piles sorting through ribbons, thimbles, and empty bobbins. She inspects shards of glass before ultimately deciding that those are all too pointy to wear around the neck. She picks up a crab claw and puts it on its own pile, a candidate for being the final trinket. She finds her collection of beads and plucks out a few black and dark red ones, Mai seems to enjoy the gloomier shades.

She scrambles over to her plant specimens. Mostly they consist of interestingly shaped twigs but there are several dried leaves, petals, and roots. She thinks that the leaves and petals are too frail to be threaded onto the cord. But the roots, those might very well work. And they would make sense too. Mai works with flowers and plants so the necklace should have at least something to represent that. Snapdragon’s current necklace represents her.

She feels it against her chest. It has at least eight charms, a few of them don’t mean anything in particular to her. But she has recently added snapdragon roots between the tiger-monkey claw and her a dusty, broken geode. A tiger-monkey claw for her fierceness and her love of climbing and a rusty cog for her love of old factories and abandoned places. There is a coconut chip to remind her of her days in the jungle and a blunt tip of a broken dagger. She isn’t entirely sure about the geode but it speaks to her on some level. The coins, beads, and the piece of tattered red cloth are more for show than anything else.

She twirls the root in her hand before ultimately deciding that they will be the perfect final addition to her necklace. She ties it onto the cord with a satisfied smile and holds it up. It is perfect, an asymmetrical cluster of things that don’t seem like they should go together. But they are harmonized in their chaos.

Her smile fades, she isn’t sure that Mai would like to wear something so odd. Especially in a palace full of watching, judging eyes. She supposes that it’s okay if she only wears it around her and then takes it off when she gets to the palace.

.oOo.

It is raining quite heavily but Mai doesn’t particularly care. The pounding of the drops drowns out the angry beating in her mind. Zuko is being unbearable. Everything is an argument, everything is taken so personally. And she doesn’t care for that Jin girl that he has been bringing around.

She can’t quite place it at first but she thinks that it might be a twinge of jealousy one that she wishes she could permanently purge. She isn’t sure why she is jealous, she has made it clear that things were over between the two of them. And yet she can’t shake that nagging sense that it should be she who is going to be attending Ember Island Players shows with him. That was their thing and now their thing is being shared with some ditzy, doe-eyed, air headed…

Mai tightens her fists in her pockets. Small puddles are gathering uncomfortably in the folds of her robes and she has no one to blame but herself. Why does Snapdragon’s factory have to be at the very other side of the city? Why did she neglect getting herself a palanquin ride?  Zuko probably wouldn’t have let her borrow one anyhow. Not mid-squabble.

Her feet slosh through puddle after puddle, soaking through to her socks. She shudders, there is no greater discomfort. No greater suffering. But at least she isn’t bored.

She finds Snapdragon, also soaked thoroughly, leaping from puddle to puddle. She, unlike Mai herself, seems absolutely delighted to be dripping wet. She hasn’t yet noticed mai. Even in the misty gloom, Snapdragon is a splash of color. The necklace she wears today is particularly flashy as it clanks against her chest. Mai is inclined to believe that she has chosen it specifically to stand out in the drabness.

“I’m glad that you’re having fun.”

Snapdragon comes to an abrupt halt, kicking up a splash of oily mud. “I like rainy days sometimes.”

“You would enjoy playing around in the mud.”

“It’s too slick for climbing ‘n jumping on roofs today.” Snapdragon shrugs. “So I’m pretending that the puddles are roofs ‘stead.”

“Interesting.” Mai remarks stoically.

“I ain’t realize you liked walks in the rain.”

“I don’t.”

Snapdragon tilts her head, “then why are you walking in the rain?”

She shakes her head, “just...don’t worry about it. Can we go inside, I need to wring my clothes and hair out.”

Snapdragon flounces over to the door and holds it open, “after you, hotwoman.”

Mai rolls her eyes. Normally it would be enduring, today she just finds herself annoyed by the woman’s uppity antics. She sighs and gives her hair an overly forceful twist and squeeze. She can’t let herself take her frustrations out on Snapdragon. The girl has been nothing but pleasant.

“Hey, stay right there! I gotta go get something!”

She doesn’t give Mai a chance to answer before darting off and scrambling up her rickety ladder. It is probably a good thing, she very well might have muttered a harsh, ‘where else am I going to go, Snapdragon?’ Mai rubs her hands over her face. Maybe she should try to lighten the mood. Maybe she should try to drink in some of the delight that Snapdragon radiates.

The girl comes back down with another one of her gaudy necklaces. She is beaming from ear to ear. “What do you think?”

Mai inspects the jewelry. “It’s...uh...it’s unique. Very you.”

“I was trying to make it more you.” She holds it out. “See, the roots are supposed to represent your flower shop.”

Mai tries to muster up a smile but it probably looks more like a grimace.

“It’s for you.” She retracts her hand slightly and thrusts it out again.

Mai takes a deep breath and tries for a joke, “I don’t know if I can pull off a trash necklace.”

Maybe it is her deadpan delivery, or maybe she has simply uncovered and hit some hidden raw spot, but Snapdragon’s face falls. Mai could slap herself. “No, no. I mean it’s a cool necklace, I like it. I just wanted to make a joke.”

Snapdragon forces a laugh. She doesn’t try to hand the necklace to her again.

“You’re not going to offer it again?”

“It’s alright, Mai, you don’t have to take it if you don’t want to.” She forces a smile.

“I do want to.” She holds her hand out. Snapdragon sets the necklace in her palm. Mai tries to make small talk with her but she mostly answers with simple yes or no’s while toying with the charms on her own necklace.

And Mai considers that maybe Zuko isn’t the problem at all. Maybe it is her. She does have this amazing ability to drag everyone down instead of allowing them to lift her up. It always happens eventually. She wishes that she weren’t so unremarkable.

.oOo.

By dusk the rain comes to a slow. After an hour or so of getting nowhere in conversation, Mai had declared that it would probably be best to make her way back home before it gets dark and the second round of storm clouds roll in.

She can see them lingeringly darkly on the horizon as she scuttles her way over a heap of wooden beams and crates and shimmies up the husk of an old war tank. She squeezes herself into the hatch and slips behind the wheel. She imagines the war machine roaring to life in a cough of black smoke. Imagines the raw power of it. Imagines being something more than just some downtrodden alley dweller. Maybe then Mai wouldn’t be embarrassed by her. Maybe then, she’d have a chance with the woman.

Her gift was accepted out of pity and nothing more, she knows that Mai is just going to chuck the necklace aside when she gets back to the palace and pretend like she has no idea where it had come from.

Snapdragon gives the rusty metal wheel a turn. Maybe if she spent less time lurking in abandoned places, people wouldn’t abandon affections for her. She supposes that it is hard to love someone who is constantly covered in dust and grime. All the same, she loves her hobby, she can’t really see herself without it.

She finds a little corner of the tank to curl herself up in and wait out the storm. It comes suddenly and with a surprising fury. From the sound of it, the drops are thick as they pelt the side of the tank. And the thunder shakes the ground. It is probably a horrid idea to hole up in a metal tank so she hustles out of it and into the rain.

The puddles are no fun anymore and the rain throws itself violently into her face. She thinks of going into the factory but it is entirely metal too. The lightning strikes it over and over again with a terrifying fury. And yet it manages to stand on, powerful and admirable. She thinks that it is what keeps her safe from getting struck; the lightning is so enticed by it that it doesn’t bother with her as she heads towards Mohi’s home.

The wind lashes at her with a fury and she wonders if and hopes that Mai has made it home.

Maybe if she were a shaper, smarter, noblewoman she would have thought to offer letting Mai stay with her at Mohi’s. Would have walked there with her a while ago.

But she isn’t smarter. She isn’t a noble woman. But she isn’t anything grander than what she is now. Isn’t anyone impressive. She’s just Snapdragon, a girl who doesn’t even have a real name.

[thalsianiii]

I was HMMM about Percy for awhile, but I love the fact that behind closed doors he's absolutely evil and horrid, but out in public he's more of a menace without god-modding or being too detrimental to other people's characters. It's quite fun seeing him in social situations like the masquerade, behaving himself but making incredibly snide comments. And the Exit, of course.

Lol you’re not the first to be “HMMM” about him, and certainly won’t be the last.

I love doing the super dark evil spoop in private RP or small groups.

But the most important thing about RP -not even dark/villain RP- but RP in general is that it’s a group activity. Going to an event with the sole intention of causing trouble wont make you any friends OOC and just makes it that much harder to get RP happening. Crying “Well this is what my character would do!” is a poor excuse. You can spout “IC =/= OOC” all you want but let’s be honest, playing a villain and crashing parties because it’s edgy isn’t IC. it’s you being shitty. I don’t want to be shitty.

Like, imagine if you went to a party and just started urinating on everything. You’d get kicked out and never invited again. You’d have no friends. I’m not here to pee on people unless they ask me too.

So I just don’t take him too seriously when I want to check out public events. Rather than throwing fireballs and eating children he just eats all the crab cakes and dances with someone he’s already messed with knowing full well they won’t make a scene either. Create the illusion of a threat without ever actually being one.

And the Exit is always my bread and butter. Even if nobody noticed me during the event, everyone see’s me leave. lololol

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #474

“nothing flashed before my eyes  /  no pretty angels, no bright lights  /  all i saw was the devil’s soul, & it looked a hell a lot like my own”

Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to? My dad. He can be a challenge. He says whatever comes to his mind the moment he thinks it, and it's not always nice. What is the most exciting thing about your life right now? My relationship, honestly. It feels like the one thing that's going right, but I'm concerned if I don't take care of the things that aren't going so well, that they will creep into my relationship and start breaking it down, ex. not having a job. What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school? To just keep pushing and not give up on life, and that it is full of phases, be them good, bad, or bland. Have you ever had a job that deeply affected your personal life? How so and do you still work there? No. Do you have a “one who got away”? I don't feel like that anymore. If you were in a supoerhero movie, would you be the hero or the villain? Because I like to help people, I'd like to be the hero, BUT villains are waaaay cooler. If you found a mouse in your house, would you be frightened? Frightened, no. I LOVE mice. I'd of course be startled and concerned about it getting into food, but I'd just calmly find a way to get it outside. Have you ever tried to perform magic tricks? I used to LOVE getting those little magic kits when the Scholastic fair came around! I had I want to say three and was pretty good at a lot of tricks in them. Can you do more with a yo-yo than just "go up and down"? No. What is one form of technology that you wouldn't be able to live without? The Internet for sure. Did you get an allowance, growing up? Why or why not? No. An allowance for three daughters was something my parents couldn't afford. Would you rather go to a water park or an amusement park? Why? An amusement park. They're more exciting to me, and somehow water parks seem dirtier with all the little kids and just alksdjlfa;wjke What is one instrument you wouldn't mind learning how to play? The violin. What's the longest amount of time you've had to wait in line for something? Probably something at Disney World as a kid, idr. What is something that you would like to learn more about? I ALWAYS want to learn more and more about meerkats. What is something that one of your family member collects? Mom collects owl stuff. Have you ever moved to a new school before? If so, how did it feel? No, except obviously when transferring from certain age ranges, like elementary to middle school. Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework? Yes, at least once in middle school. I felt SO awful and had to go outside of the classroom to do it while they were reviewing the work. Do you enjoy autumn leaves or spring flowers more? Why? I really, really like both. Each are just very pretty in their own right. Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled? Hurricanes or like the mere chance of a centimeter of snow. At least once, we've even had such a severe heat advisory that school was called off. If you could meet any fictional character from a book, who would it be? Can dragons be real? 'Cuz then I wanna meet Clay from Wings of Fire if we could talk, lol. He's so wise and I'm sure would have great knowledge to share about looking at my life from new perspectives. What are some common places that people tour when they come to your city? Um, people do NOT tour this city. It's trash. What's one food that you did not enjoy as a child, but do as an adult? I'm not sure. How would having no electricity affect your daily routine? Everything would change, given I'm always on the computer. Would you rather have a mermaid tail, a fairy's wings or a unicorn's horn? Fairy wings, for sure. What is an animal that you'd like to have as a pet but it's not allowed? I wish SO badly that opossums were domesticated animals, alsdkjfkaljwe. I say enough that I do want to rescue/foster one, though, but I would obviously need a license for that. I would absolutely never just snag one from the wild. What are some things that you do to make the world a better place? We recycle here, don't dare to litter, and I always try to be a decent person that spreads love and hope to other people. Has the last person you had sex with ever had sex with someone besides you? Yes. What’s your favorite store at your mall? rue21, I suppose. We have a small mall. Have you ever done a workout DVD? Oh my actual god, this is a THROWBACK. When we were really little, my sister had a BARBIE workout DVD that we watched sometimes. Who usually takes out the trash in your family? Usually Mom, but sometimes me. What song are you currently obsessed with? Absolutely "Bath Salts" by Highly Suspect, ahhhhh- When you go fishing, do you make someone else get the fish off the hook? When I used to go fishing, my dad would always unhook the fish. Do you take any prescription meds? A lot. What happens if you don’t take them? I very rarely forget to take my medicine, but when I do, I experience anxiety and my tremors get worse. Who was the last person you dreamt about? I don't remember. Do you prefer your tea sweetened or unsweetened? I hate tea in any way. How often do you honk your horn? I don't really drive, so. I'd be very hesitant to though because I wouldn't wanna piss someone off. Do you have any children? If so, names and ages? That's a hard pass from me, bro. Have your parents ever witnessed you doing something inappropriate? What? No. Did you get babysat a lot as a kid? I don't remember how frequently, but we did have a babysitter. Both my parents had jobs. If you were the principal of a school, what would you do differently? Actually pay fucking attention to bullying and do shit about it. Are you doing anything fun tomorrow? "Fun?" Don't know her. What is something you'd like to receive as a housewarming gift? I dunno. How old were you when you first experienced the effects of puberty? I don't remember. What is your least favorite holiday, and why? St. Patrick's Day because I worry about getting pinched, lol. Pinching even very lightly is surprisingly painful for me. What were some outdoor games you played as a child? Hide-and-seek was my favorite, then my sisters and I made games for on the trampoline and in the pool, etc. Did you accompany your parents on "Take Your Child to Work" Day? I never remember doing that, no. Are cemeteries peaceful to you, or do they freak you out? They're humbling, more than anything. A reminder of how equal we are and that we all end up the same. It's a nudge to cherish life while you have it. Which ancient civilization would you be interested in learning more about? My favorite is Ancient Egyptian. Do you have better long-term memory or short-term memory? Long-term. My short-term memory is absolutely frighteningly horrid. What was the last situation that made you cry? Describe. I was very frustrated with just life in general and how horribly I'm failing at it. Which forest animal would you be most afraid to encounter? A bear, probably. Do you believe in anything supernatural? (ie: spirits, etc) Yeah, like said spirits. Has anyone close to you ever gone to war? No. Have you ever experienced altitude sickness? No. Is there anything, any event, you wish you could remember more clearly? I don't know right now. Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet? EW you couldn't pay me to. If you had to get advice from someone of the opposite sex, who would you go to? My boyfriend. What was the last new food/drink that you tried? I recently tried jalapeno-stuffed grilled chicken, and a couple days ago I tried this orange/strawberry V8 my mom bought. It was noooot good, which I figured it wouldn't be. That's not a good mix. Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better? Today was fucking awful, and yesterday wasn't exactly peachy either. Have you ever played Sudoku? Yeah, I enjoy it well enough. Do you ever take surveys for money? No; I once signed up for a site like that though because my mom used to do that, but I literally qualified for no surveys with how inexperienced I was and still am with grown-up stuff. Do you like Barbie or Bratz better? I don't have an opinion, and I didn't really as a kid, either. Do you prefer purple or green grapes? I go back and forth, but either way, it has to be a crisp grape or it's just gross. Who was the last person that made you laugh? I was watching a John Wolfe video. Where does your best friend live? Illinois. Who did you last confide in? Girt. Does your car have an alarm? Mom's doesn't. Where was your mom born? New York. What can always make you feel better no matter what? If I'm being completely realistic, nothing. Not every single tactic is fail-proof, especially these days. What is something you’ll never eat again? Why? Crab legs came to mind first. They are SO mushy and just gross. What is currently happening that is scaring you? My life, bro. Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say? I mean maybe at some point accidentally? I don't remember a specific occurrence.

[mkkenvs3000]

Ants - the bane of my existence, but the coolest insects around

I’m sure everyone understands the fact that nature is full of unique and amazing things, however, I am personally only really fascinated by the things that terrify me. Nature has produced many tiny organisms that I find absolutely horrid, but at the top of the list is probably ants. I am content with spiders, cockroaches, and even ticks, but ants are where I cross the line. I’m talking about all kinds of ants here, fire ants, bullet ants, crazy ants, the whole lot. Part of what makes these things amazing (and terrifying) is the fact that the Formicidae family (or ant family) is so incredibly diverse. In 2011, Howard Gardener wrote “Frames of Mind”, which outlined the theory of multiple intelligences (Beck et al, 2018). One of the intelligences is naturalistic, which involves the ability to make distinctions in the world of nature, for example, when identifying insects (Beck et al, 2018).  Over millions of years, ants  have developed specific adaptations catered to their respective habitat’s that have allowed us to distinguish between about 12,000 species, which is pretty incredible. Being able to walk through nature and identify the organisms you are interacting with is a big part of interpretation, as it keeps your audience engaged and in the moment. So, while ants do freak me out, I can still appreciate those who study them, and can still recognize the importance of possessing naturalistic intelligence (Ballenger, 2016).

Now, back to exactly why I think ants are scary and cool. The adaptations I mentioned before are used for a variety of processes, however, much of the time they are used as defense mechanisms. By defense, I mean some ants can actually eat you alive. Fire ants, for example, have been known to eat a frog down to it’s bones in approximately 12 hours by stripping the flesh with their mandibles. Below, I have included a video of ants devouring an entire crab, in case you don’t believe me. I find this incredible because the worker ants (the ones who are actually doing the stripping of the flesh), are smaller than your fingernail. While it would take days for fire ants to actually consume a human or another large animal, they are certainly capable of doing so. In countries such as Brazil, parents have to keep a close eye on their newborns, because fire ants can make their way into a crib and harass the baby. Now, i'm not a parent, but the thought of my child being devoured by tiny demon ants is horrifying. If that isn’t bad enough, their stings can cause death to those who are allergic, and they are also considered pests who cause major damage to crops. Therefore, they are bad for the economy, bad for public health, and bad for my mental health. However, the biologist in me does recognize the fact that they are an essential part of a healthy ecosystem (Ballenger, 2016). 

(BBC, 2019)

Another creepy and cool fact about fire ants is that they create structures called bivouac’s. I have attached a photo below, and if you think it looks disgusting, that’s probably because it is a moving bridge built of their own stationary bodies. The purpose of the bivouac is to protect the queen and larvae from predators during transportation between pastures, but watching thousands of tiny creatures pile on top of each other and move in unison just freaks me out (Ballenger, 2016)! 

(Award-winning photo of a 100,000 army ant bivouac. Fenz, 2019).

This post is just a snippet of what ants are capable of, and while a lot of it is gross, they are also incredibly fascinating and display strength that I consider to be a biological feat. Are there any critters that you're afraid of, yet fascinated with? Do you have any more ant facts that might make me appreciate their existence more? I’d love to hear your input!

- Meghan ✿

VIDEO LINK ----> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5s_zHccAYxQ 

Literature cited: 

Ballenger, J. (2016, December 8). Is there any truth to the rumor that ants eat cows, people and crops? Ask an Entomologist. https://askentomologists.com/2015/07/01/is-there-any-truth-to-the-rumor-that-ants-eat-cows-people-and-crops/

BBC. (2019, February 6). Ant army eats live crab from the inside out! - BBC. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5s_zHccAYxQ

Beck, L., Cable, T., & Knudson, D. (2018). Interpreting cultural and natural heritage for a better world. Sagamore-Venture Publishing.

Fenz, K. (2019, October 15). Biologist and ant paparazzo Daniel Kronauer recognized in Wildlife Photographer of the Year competition. The Rockefeller University. https://www.rockefeller.edu/news/26662-biologist-and-ant-paparazzo-daniel-kronauer-recognized-in-wildlife-photographer-of-the-year-competition/