#absolutely feel free to ask about them! theyre all so normal!
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Finally finished my lineup of Destiny's Children from Neverafter! ...Wait, what do you mean I got it wrong?
#neverafter#gerard of greenleigh#rosamund du prix#timothy goose#ylfa snorgelsson#pib neverafter#pinocchio#pinocchio neverafter#pib#d20#dimension 20#midnight draws#swap au#fun fact: literally rewrote new fairytales for this au#absolutely feel free to ask about them! theyre all so normal!
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taesan x leehan x fem!reader â nsfw ; wc : 3k+ â one-shot mdni! synopsis; when taesan and leehan invite you to go swimming with them, you find yourself doing a lot more than swimming. warnings; all bnd members mentioned except wnk, i refer to taesan (dongmin) and leehan (donghyun) as their real names, hot tub sex, leehan is more of a dom than taesan is, hickies, fingering, humping, unprotected sex (wrap it!), handjob, big dick leehan ofc, theyre pervs (?), boob play, they get a teeny bit competitive/bicker at each other at one point, no mxm
Jaehyun had warned you way before you guys had even gotten to the hotel that Dongmin and Donghyun were more than likely going to drag you to the pool with them.
And he was absolutely right, because not even 5 minutes into checking into the hotel, they were asking the lady at the front desk about the pool on the roof. When she said it was for residential use for free, they couldn't hide the excitement they felt about it. "We should go the second we unlock our hotel rooms." Donghyun suggests, dragging his suitcase in the halls while everyone walks to the 3 rooms you guys had rented. "Shouldn't we settle in first?" You raise an eyebrow at him and Donghyun shrugs back with a smile on his face. Jaehyun plays with the keycards in his hands, figuring out which room is for which key before giving you yours. You had split up the 3 rooms by having you by yourself, while Sanghyeok, Sungho and Jaehyun were in another and the last one is for Dongmin and Donghyun. You place the keycard on the pad on your door, Dongmin leans against the wall watching you, "So it's official you're coming with us?" You ignore his question when the pad on the door turns red, the keycard refusing to work. "I-" You look at him confused and he turned his attention to the keycard, "It's not working?" "Let me try," he grabs the card from you and when the pad turns red again he searches around for Jaehyun, who opened his door and is now inside the room. "Myungjae.!" He yells loud enough for him to hear but not loud enough to make the surrounding rooms complain. Jaehyun pops his head out and raises his eyebrows, "It's not working." You grab the card from Dongmin to hand it to Jaehyun who is now attempting to work the keypad. You see Donghyun poke his head out from the room he also got open, curiosity on his face. "Huh," Jaehyun inspects at the card, "Weird. Maybe they gave us the wrong one?" You look at Dongmin and Donghyun before shrugging your shoulders, "Looks like the pools gonna have to wait." "No biggie," Donghyun shakes his head, "You could just change in our room." "But I have to go fix the problem with Jae. It is my room." You look at Jaehyun who has a smile on his face. Dongmin grabs your suitcase before dragging it into the room he was staying in and Jaehyun slightly nudges you, "I got it, don't even worry about it." Before you were able to even say anything back, you found yourself in Dongmin and Donghyun's room, looking through your suitcase for the bathing suite you made sure to pack. "Is that one new?" Donghyun asks, grabbing the bra of your bikini set, his fingers grazing over the texture. You gently snatch it from his hands, "Just bought it." You head towards the rooms bathroom and get dressed. When you leave the bathroom the two boys are in their bathing trunks, and when they both look at you at the same time, you can't help but feel a lot more shy than normal. Donghyun's eyes travel your body before he smiles in a smirk like manner, "I like it." He pats Dongmin's thigh to tell him to get up and they both grab their towels. "Actually do one of you have a towel I can use? I forgot mine at home." You search through your suitcase with no luck. Dongmin towers over you before smiling softly, "You can share with me." When you're silent, his voice gets quieter, "Only if you want to." You look up at him with a smile, "Sure, thank you Min."
The moment you guys made it the pool, you were already shivering. The two boys seemed to not care about the current weather situation, and you assume that's because of how badly they wanted to go swimming. After putting your stuff down on one of the chairs, you took a deep breath before slowly getting in the water. You wished it wasn't so cold out, the ambiance was really nice, especially because you could just look at the city below and see the lights from the buildings brightening up the dark sky. But you couldn't enjoy it because you're stuck in the corner of the pool, shivering. It's so cold you're sure you could get frostbite if you stay in there longer than 30 minutes. "Hey guys," They both watch as you exit the pool, "It's really cold." Donghyun swims to the edge you were standing at and lifts himself up, "We can go." "No.!" He confusingly drops back into the pool, "It's okay, we can stay, I just won't go into the pool, that's all." "You sure?" Dongmin tilts his head and you nod. You didn't want to be the reason why they weren't able to enjoy something they were very clearly looking forward to doing, and the temperature of the air wasn't so bad. Your skin started to dry up once you wrapped yourself in Dongmin's towel, only then did you realize there was a hot tub attached to the pool. You watch as the two boys compete in swimming laps, contemplating on whether or not you should test out the hot tub before carrying yourself over there and sitting inside. The temperature was the exact opposite of the pools, it was nice and warm. The light blue light turning the water entirely translucent. Eventually they both got out the pool too, complaining about how the cold water got to them as well and joining you in the hot tub to warm up. "It's soo much better in here." Dongmin rests his back against the wall of the hot tub, laying his head back. You did the same thing as Dongmin, even resting your eyelids for a bit, and when you opened them you were greeted by Donghyun staring at your breasts. "Eyes are up here, Kim Donghyun." You warned in a jokingly manner, his eyes dragging up into yours, but the expression on his face not changing once. "Can't help it," He looks back at your breasts again, "Especially not when you look so good.." You splash some water towards him and laugh to try to even out the heavy atmosphere. Donghyun splashes you back and responds with laughter in his voice, "Did I say something wrong?" You sigh so loud it came out more as just simply exhaling, "Well I mean- I don't know... But you can't just say things like that." He raises an eyebrow, "And why not?" "Because-" You have trouble finding your words, "Because we are friends..?" Your voice shaky, not sure if what you were saying was even true. Donghyun and Dongmin have always been super close to you ever since you met. Despite the fact that you met through Jaehyun, Dongmin and Donghyun had zero problem when it came to flirting or being extra close, more than always passing it off as a joke.
So there's no way either of them think of you as anything more than a friend, it was simply just joking. "You know," Donghyun looks at Dongmin who's shaking his head to tell him that whatever it is that he's about to say, he shouldn't say it. "Dongmin's found you hot since the moment you met." Dongmin continues to shake his head before covering his face with his hands, very clearly embarrassed. Donhyun opens his mouth to talk again before he gets cut off, "Not just me. Donghyun has been eyeing you forever." "Well this is news to me." You say before Donghyun has the opportunity to respond to him. The three of you sit in silence, unsure on how to continue the conversation after their awkward confessions. Donghyun looks at Dongmin who's shaking his head again and he looks at you, "On that note," he speaks slowly, "What if I told you I want to fuck you?" You don't know what exactly you expected out of Donghyun's mouth, but it certainly wasn't that. Anything but that actually. It seems as though he read your mind, "You'd let me right?," Dongmin clears his throat and Donghyun immediately corrects himself, "Sorry, you'd let us, right?" You look between them both, fidgeting with your fingers, "Both.. of.. you..?" "Is that okay?" Dongmin butts in, making it clear he's interested in you despite not participating in the conversation as much. You had to really think about it. You thought they were attractive, everyone did, but if you agree to it, it could possibly turn the really good friendship you had with them into an awkward one. Yet for some reason you find yourself nodding, agreeing to their proposal. Donghyun is first to react, and the moment his lips touch yours, you feel your body heat up. A very different type of heat than the one coming from the hot tub. Especially when Donghyun slides his tongue into your mouth without you even realizing, a clear natural, and your hands come to hold his cheeks. Dongmin whispers something in Donghyun's ear, who looks at him with an obvious look on his face. Breaking away from your kiss, he replies, "Me, duh." "What? Why?" Dongmin whines out, a pout forming on his lips. "I'm bigger, she'll feel more full." Donghyun shrugs like it's the clear choice. You put the pieces together and realize they're talking about who actually goes inside of you, you would offer to take both of them, but their bickering was too entertaining for you to want to stop them. "So???" Dongmin rolls his eyes, "Fine, can I at least touch her before you?" "Okay, but don't let her cum, I want her to cum from me." "She'll cum twice then." Dongmin shrugs, lifting one of your legs over his, helping to spread yours softly. His hand rests over your clothed heat, only thing keeping it from making contact is the polyester of your bikini bottom. "You are okay with this, right?" He softly asks you.
You shift your hips around and nod, "Yes, please just.." Placing a hand on the rough seat of the hot tub to balance yourself, but instead leaning against Donghyun, who wraps his arms around your waist. Dongmin pushes the fabric of your bikini to the side, softly pressing one of his fingers on your clit, looking at your face to observe your reactions. Your chest rises and falls heavier when he starts toying with your clit, sending waves of sensation to where you needed it the most. Donghyun watches from above your shoulder at the way Dongmin moves against your clit. You let out a soft moan and Dongmin tries his best to hold down a smile that tried to escape. When he felt you clench around nothing, he took it as a sign to enter one of his fingers in. You hold his arm, and he stops moving, waiting until you give him the green light to continue. When you got slightly used to the feeling of his finger inside of you, you let go of his arm. He looks at you for confirmation and when you nod, he starts pumping his finger in and out of you. It's been a while since you last had any type of sensation so his singular finger was already stimulating you to the point of release. You shift your hips again, this time being able to feel Dongmin's bulge, pressing your knee into it to hopefully give him some relief he might be looking for. And you know you're right when he curses under his breath before softly grinding against your knee in the pace of his fingers. "Min-" You moan out when he enters another finger inside of you, not able to take his eyes off of the way your mouth hangs open from how good he's making you feel. And he didn't realize how much he's yearning for release too until he focuses on it. The mere fact that Dongmin's attempting to get himself off using your knee makes you clench around his fingers. Would it be too late to ask if you could take him right now? Those thoughts disappear when Donghyun whispers in your ear, "Maybe it's a good thing he's doing this first.. You're gonna need the slight preparation for when you take me." He leaves a small peck on your cheek and rubs the sides of your waist. You're sure Dongmin overheard when he adds a 3rd finger, reaching so deep inside you you're worried if he's even meant to go that far in. Using his thumb, he circles your clit, trying to keep all his attention on making you feel the best you can instead of on the ache in his cock. Donghyun's words and the way Dongmin feels inside of you, make your head cloud up. And you can't tell if it's that or the heat from the hot tub making you sweat. "Min-" You reach out for him, squeezing on his other arm, "Oh gosh.. Min- Please.." The way you stumbled over your words boosted Dongmin's ego, speeding up his hand while still lightly pressing himself against your knee. Your climax approached you before you were even able to let Dongmin know. Hips twitching as you came on his hand, mumbling his name so much it'll wear out. Donghyun softly rubs against your stomach to rid it of any possible aches.
"My turn," Donghyun lifts you up and into his lap, taking note in the way your body has given up on strength. "Unless you-" You shake your head and look at Dongmin before looking at Donghyun, "I'm okay, let's continue.!" "You sure?" Donghyun looks at you for extra confirmation, never wanting to go out of your comfort zone, but when you mumble a small 'I promise', he's already undoing the lace on his swim trunks. Donghyun frees himself from the shorts, cock aching to be inside of you, and he mimics what Dongmin did and pushes your bikini to the side. He lines himself up with you, "Let me know when you're ready." You nod and take a deep breath, "I'm ready." He inserts inside of you, the size of his cock making your walls burn and you feel the wind get knocked right of you, "Oh fuck." "I won't move," He rubs his hands along your back, reaching your bikini top before undoing it. Despite trying to catch your breath, you notice the way both Dongmin and Donghyun stare at your bare breasts in awe, the other boy adjusting himself in his shorts. "Can I move now, sweetheart?" You hear almost desperation come from Donghyun's voice as he moves his hands to your breasts, softly massaging them. "Yeah I think I'm good now." You speak slowly, trying to get used to Donghyun's warm wet hands on your sensitive nipples. He looks at Dongmin who is trying his hardest not to touch himself, "Dongmin, come here." The boy looks at Donghyun with confusion, "I need you to help her move." Dongmin sulkily listens, upset that he's not the one inside of you right now, but nonetheless he softly grabs your hips and guides you on top of Donghyun who continues to play with your breasts. Dongmin takes the advantage of his control to finally feel what it's like to have your lips against his, and given the situation, he thinks the kiss is sweet. But he doesn't do it anymore than once, knowing you're too focused on Donghyun. He hold onto Donghyun's shoulders, feeling like your core was being ripped apart, thankful Dongmin was there to help you as you knew you wouldn't have been able to on your own. The same boy took the opportunity to press kisses all over your shoulders and neck, sucking on spots that seemed to get a reaction out of you. Your hand searches Dongmin's body, finally finding his bulge. When you softly palm it, he jolts, making Donghyun thrust up into you, earning a moan from you. He whimpers, allowing you to do it again. In between Donghyun's thrusts, you undo Dongmin's trunks so you can help him better. Donghyun moves his hands from your breasts to your hips, guiding you on him as you pump Dongmin's dick in a pace that matched Donghyun's. Dongmin removes his lips from your skin so you could jerk him easier, he melts into your touch, already finding himself closer than he'd expected. Donghyun replaces the absence of Dongmin's lips on you with his own, biting down on your collarbone skin, more than likely leaving marks impossible to cover up. Feeling the pressure in between your legs grow as Dongmin's cock twitched in your hand, even Donghyun's grip on your hips tightened as you got closer to release. Moving your thumb along Dongmin's tip got him to where he's been wanting, his whimpers increasing in volume as his cum streams into the water. His eyebrows furrowing as he breathes heavy. Donghyun starts moving faster underneath you, his hips thrusting up sporadically. You feel him move inside of you, curses falling from his lips faster, you reach your climax again, moaning both their names with the very little energy you have left. Donghyun lifts you off of him so he could cum too, it never leaving the warm water.
You collapse onto Donghyun when your body gives out, all 3 of you in silence while you all catch your breath and come to realization about what had happened. "Here, take her," Donghyun eventually speaks up, helping you rest on Dongmin's lap instead so he could fix himself and help put your bikini top back on. Your eyelids felt heavy and the comfort of Dongmin's shoulders makes you fall asleep, burnt out from the previous activities.
-
You were sure they carried you back to the hotel room, because when you opened your eyes, you were in pajamas on a bed instead of in the hot tub. When you turned around, you were face to face with Dongmin, who was peacefully sleeping. And something about that made you smile.
hi this was actually the death of me. i went through the 5 stages of grief writing this. this fic is based on this ask! it was highly wanted and the original nonie said i could write it so i did!! big thank u to nonie for the idea and bunny for helping me! it took longer than i wanted and im not happy with the result but you know,,,, đ also the writing looks a little awkward because both of them are Dongs,, so you end up seeing those letters a lot, guess i have their parents to thank for that đ
#did not read this before uploading so once again - if u see any errors... no u dont ^^#boynextdoor smut#taesan smut#leehan smut#btw taesan likes reader in a âi want to kiss & snuggle you & give you giftsâ way - rather than leehans âi want to fuck you & ur titsâ way#might write a part 2 where taesan fucks reader - sorry cutie pie this was leehans turn to shine
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God I'm legit screaming thinking about my reply to this comment again tho
Like. Such an interesting aspect of the clones is that they did have their childhoods taken from them. It isn't the same as a species that develops at double the speed of humans! Cause they ARE humans. Which absolutely does not mean that they are adult sized children. They are adults. They think like adults. They are developmentally, physically and psychologically adults: but they are not the people they would have been, people with a whole well adjusted childhood behind them.
Which I think is frankly a fascinating thing to explore. It's a great metaphor. When looking at things like: if anyone bothered to ask, could they have consented to their place in the army? Which. Yes. On an individual basis they absolutely could. They are adults, they deserve the autonomy to make that decision and have it accepted, even if the choice they make isn't necessarily the one that another sentient with a different childhood might have made in their position. They can consent. But is it informed consent? Well no. They've kinda been brainwashed. Ethically, you're on unsteady territory there in asking them to choose when you know what their answer is going to be. Does that mean you shouldn't ask? Hell no! Of course you should ask. Does that mean you shouldn't accept their decision? Of course not! They're adults and it's their life.
The only way to approach this ethically would be to give them all the information beforehand and hope that they're as informed as possible. But really. Whatever you do, it isn't really right. The ethical thing is for noone to be in this position in the first place. This isn't ethical unless the clones did have childhoods and were not programmed to WANT to die for the republic and you don't have to ask them under those circumstances, because you've conscripted your army in a normal way.
Anyway my comment (and the fic) kinda went about this in looking at things from a Jedi perspective. Mace is asking. What the fuck do you do in that circumstance? Army has been raised and created in a horrible way, you had no idea and couldn't stop it and now they're being delivered to you. How do you do right by them? You can't! Certainly not as Jedi. Theyre in a ethical trap. They can only try their best but whatever they do, they are promoting the fucked up system that put these men in that position in the first place. Even if they could walk away from the republic (highly debatable) You either leave them to fend for themselves knowing there will be a huge loss of life, or you go in to war alongside them, hoping that in doing so you can smooth the way for them. Hoping that you'll figure out how to free them soon. Hoping that you can save as many of their lives as possible.
Like wow. Terrible situation to be in for anyone. No way you're getting out of that one without betraying them in some way. But for the jedi? Who rely on a philosophy that promotes the importance of all sentient life, to stop them falling and pretty much losing themselves to a mystic power that's gonna do all it can to turn them in to a time bomb, destroying themselves and hurting as many ppl as possible on the way out. Like I can't think of a less conflicting ethical dilemma for them to find themselves in. The war destroys the Jedi. If Palpatine was patient he wouldn't have needed order 66. They were never getting out of that alive. The war broke them, it was in complete opposition to their philosophy and they were tearing themselves apart from the inside.
Anyway this is my comment:
"It is!!! I think this is such a key way that its really hard for anyone to do right by them and be fair. They are adults, it wouldn't be fair to force them in to the life of a child. Or to patronise them. But in the same hand, they shouldn't be adults, something was taken from them and it's not fair to just ignore the fact that their childhoods were stolen from them. They aren't the people they'd be if they got to live those childhoods, but they aren't children either. They think like adults, they feel like adults; but adults that grew in to adults without the learning potential that a proper childhood provides.
It's an extreme, but it's an extreme of an issue that's unfortunately common irl. As an adult whose childhood didn't give you what what you needed, you are innately aware that you lost something that you can never get back. You can make the most out of who you are now, but without a time machine, you'll never have the childhood you should have had. And that, I think is something that Jaster himself is very aware of. When Mace tells him this, he knows the weight of it and he immediately knows that for the clones, it's so much worse.
Like I don't think it should be understated that the whole situation with the clones and the Jedi being asked to lead them was like perfect Jedi torture. It's a complete moral quandary and every way betrays their philosophy. The clones were slaves. They were born to be soldiers, trained from birth, their entire lives built around this war they didn't choose. But it was all they knew. They were indoctrinated in to that life from birth. Had the Jedi found a way to free them, I honestly think the vast majority of the clones would have been offended. They had been raised to believe their life's meaning was to fight for the jedi. They wanted to. It may not have been an informed decision, but, they did want it.
And that's when you really come in to difficulty with, these are adults that should be children. Because it isn't fair to tell another adult that they are wrong to want what they want and that they only want that because they don't have the experience to realise its a bad option. You can't be like 'I know what's best for you'. They are just as much of an adult as you. They are just as capable of thinking things through as you are. But in the same hand, had the clones been born in to a different life, would they still want to be soldiers? Probably not! But they are already adults by this point, their brains are developed, they can't get that childhood back. So to say 'I know that's what you want but it's only because your lack of childhood made you incapable of seeing what's right for you' would be humongously fucked up. There really isn't a way for the Jedi on the council to approach them that doesn't betray at least a part of what the clones are and I think that's important to address."
I do think it's a really interesting thing to chew on and a lot of the debate I see around it in my eyes misses the point completely. There isn't a right answer. There was never going to be a right answer. This didn't happen accidentally. Palpatine set it up to cause as much damage as possible. The clones were born betrayed and the Jedi, were fated to play a part in that, whatever they did. There was no way out.
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can we get a rundown on the anakin-raises-leia au? iâm totally in love with (read: obsessed with) it but i missed most of the context and iâm so curious!
are they coparenting? was it a parent trap style agreement to split the twins? is it temporary, until the war ends? who decided who gets which twin? did mustafar just never happen?
the answers to ur questions in short are: not really, arguably, absolutely, i did, and no!
in longer, the main thing you need to know for context is it's an Anakin-doesn't-turn-to-the-darkside-but-Palps-still-succeeds AU!
Anakin chooses not to try save Palpatine from the Jedi council and instead goes to Padmé's to angst abt the fact he might be losing her -- only to feel a very solid Other loss in the Force and see the temple up in flames ): he tries to go help but gets his shit kicked enough he leaves when Bail shows up
obi-wan and yoda both return to coruscant, obi-wan shows up to Padmé's to ask her hey do you know where Anakin is??? except Padmé's not there either bc after Sidious made his Big Speech anidala realised Anakin's totally a fugitive so they decided to Leave
i'm not 100% on what happens around here (lbr we all know my focus is the kids) but i'm currently thinking they nearly get caught or smthn, fight happens (??), Obi-wan gets there just in time to help thanks to Dormé snitching -- and Padmé goes into labour w the shock/stress
whatever exactly happens, Obi-Wan is there when they get Padmé to a medical station and the normal rots ending group unite. Padmé gives birth (keeping her will to live) and a question hangs heavy in the air: what are they supposed to do with the twins?
Anidala are too caught up in the joy of being parents to think about it, but they're quickly and forcibly snapped out of that when the Survivors all have a chat like canon. Yoda's the (brave) one to say they need to be apart because their force signatures would be too strong together and in the dire case Palps finds them, he could NOT take both. He's probs initially like they shouldnt even be kept w you two, Anakin's too powerful himself and Padmé you're too visible (while I imagine Bail and Obi-wan know their respective besties and are like king they are NOT gonna take that well)
and theyre right! Padmé, fresh out of like three of the top ten most harrowing experiences of her life, is like stfu u little green bitch im not losing my kids. but after some convincing she sees the need for her to remain in the senate and anakin's need to fight/run. she knows they can't fight the empire effectively together and she knows it's too dangerous to put the twins together. both parents want more than ANYTHING to be with their kids -- but they also don't want their kids growing up in a galaxy eaten by tyranny or being stolen by palps.
so they made the hardest goddamn decision of their lives and each take a twin (probably chosen on "anakin thought the baby'd be a girl/padme thought it'd be a boy" or smthn) and after some time planning their next moves, Padmé and Anakin are forced to go their separate ways to save the galaxy for and with their kids ): knowing the better they fight, the sooner they free the galaxy from the empire's clutches, the sooner they can reunite and be a family
#won't lie i've never actually seen the parent trap. i know of it and ik the premise but ive never seen it loll#this is basically the 'half a fix it but also i accept rots is meant to be a tragedy ig' au lol#skywalkers apart au#the skywalker-amidalas are fighting for FAMILY very fast n furious core of them#thanks for the ask!
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Some ideas for you! Take your pick!
Gray frequents the infirmary the most. In one of my ideas lately, after thinking about iced shell, maybe ice make makes the body a bit moreâŠprone to cracking? Maybe he bruises easy and gets a lot of head wounds. Itâs why heâs always in bandages longer. I like the idea of Porlyusica getting sick of him.
Team Natsu/the guild/slayers taking care of him, even when he doesnât realise it. (Against pervs, against himself, maybe people are a bit racist (with him being not from Fiore).
Gray gets sad sometimes and dissociates.
Gray has night terrors so he has sleeping pills, but on missions he also has caffeine tablets to keep him awake so he doesnât have terrors around them. Safe to say, they arenât happy when they find this.
Lucy asks Gray about where heâs from, traditions etc, and the guild realises he might be homesick so they secretly try to learn things for him. (Over the years theyâve picked up swear words (Gray doesnât realise heâs doing it and theyâve never told him))
Grayâs actually quite touch starved. His body temperature is cold so most people stay away/ donât touch him (but donât realise theyâre doing it). The only one who can stand is Natsu because of his magic. Maybe it gets worse after becoming a slayer.
âŠalso do you take spicy requests?
you cant just give me all these amazing concepts and tell me to pickâčïž i will do a little for all of them if it kills me
Also yes! i absolutely do take nsfw requests! feel free to ask me anything! im surprised it took so long to ask me that tbh
there is a lot here so vv
1.
* Hes the single reason why the guild infirmary is always having to restock
* Due to Grays multiple usages of iced shell some of his body did turn to ice, most sections of his bones, it looks like a normal bones but it acts like ice, which means hes more likely to break a bone
* unfortunately, its not like a normal broken bone for obvious reasons. itll splinter and have hairline cracks all over the bones before it breaks.
* It takes less time to heal than a normal break, he just has to get it wrapped and limit his usage of his magic so it can âhealâ (as in, ice it over again) the breaks and cracks. It takes less time to heal and also less pressure to break, win lose situation tbh
* Which is also why head wounds are especially dangerous for him, skull fractures are more common for him than anyone would like, which is to say any at all
* His external body temperature is low and causes him to bruise like a peach, getting a friendly slap on the back can cause him to bruise for weeks, especially from Erza
* bro hasnt gone a day without a bruise in like ten years
* Hes been dragged to Porlyusica so many times now that anytime she sees him (on the field, in her office, even completely out of context and hes not visibly injured) its like second nature to check him out first
* if she could go a month, or even just two weeks! without seeing him she might consider changing her views on humanity (probably not but its the thought that counts)
* Also Gray has small sections of what people think is frostbite on his hands and feet. It doesnt hurt or limit him at all but theyre there, showed up some time post devil slayer magic
* ALSO! His blood runs slower and is darker due to his low body temperature, causes him only the vaguest of problems but its a thing (this is common in most powerful ice wizards)
2.
* Gray likes to pretend hes good at taking care of himself, but hes not hes really not
* Luckily he has a lot of nosy and protective friends thatll do it for him (in their own ways)
* Natsu literally temperature exploding some guys glass at a bar when he got wayyyy too friendly and handsy with Gray
* they were kicked out but he was really proud of himself
* Rogue drawing shadows towards Gray if he needs to sleep and its too bright, or Sting creating a warm light beam when its dark out and Gray wants to embrace his inner cat and sleep in a sunbeam
* Wendy checking him over first bc she knows hes one of the people who wouldnt ask for help if he was injured
* hes had multiple people physically remove him from fights/training sessions because he was visibly pushing himself way too hard
* Part of the reason Gray learned Fioren so fast was because he was sick of people looking at him like he was stupid for not speaking ârightâ
* he mentioned this to the little slayer group they got goin on and from then on out they were like, hella hyper vigilant with anything that could make him insecure like that again
3.
* It really scared him the first couple times he did it, it still does. He hates losing time
* It started happening during his time with Ur, he cant remember a lot of it, training, blink, fighting, blink, training, blink, training, you get the idea
* It doesnt happen often, and he tried not to think of it past the point of trying to get it to stop
* Its happens often when hes highly stressed but theres no immediate physical threat, his brain doesnt understand whats going on or why its so stressed but knows he doesnt need to physically protect himself yet so it mentally protects him (if that makes sense), usually when hes alone, or when a threat is gone
* he confided in Erza about this once, and now more times than not when he âwakes upâ shes there talking to him
* only part he feels is good about it is that it makes him exhausted and lets him sleep easier
* He doesnât usually dissociate often, not that he has much of a choice, if he did it wouldnt happen at all, but it was a lot worse when he was younger, his memories of early fairy tail are all blurry and he felt like he was on autopilot even when he was âawakeâ
* he hates it
4.
* After his team found out abt his vast array of pharmaceuticals they were so confused and concerned and probably borderline paranoid, because who needs that many medications for one person??
* Gray had been taking sleeping pills at a high enough dose to let him have a dreamless sleep for so long that most over the counter brands dont actually work on him
* but he kept all the old bottle that didnt work just in case he got desperate to sleep and they suddenly magically worked again
* The caffeine tablets were self explanatory after seeing all the sleeping meds, but he also (unwillingly) admitted he takes them on missions so he wouldnt wake them if he had a nightmare, and also for days when they were especially bad so he could go long enough without sleep hed just crash and sleep with no issues. Canr have a nightmare if you dont sleep
* His team was also extremely unimpressed by these explanations
* Erza and Natsu (and also Happy) strong armed him into going to Porlyusica for actual helpful solutions since he refused to go to his actual doctor
* While Lucy and Wendy disposed of the full fucking pharmacy (seriously, he coulda started a business or smth) he had in his bedroom
* For some odd reason he felt lighter and less moody when he was on actual helpful medication and was getting genuine rest
* how strange
* and if his team checks his house for another pharmacy in the making thats nobodies business but theirs
* Also Erza tried to ban Gray from caffeine while on a quest , or at least limit it, but he looked at her like she was absolutely batshit crazy to the point she got embarrassed and had to retract the ban
* But she will tie him to the bed to make him sleep on quests if she has to
5.
* The first time Lucy asked where Gray was from was before Galuna, he ended up giving her a shady answer and redirecting the question to her (reminder, before galuna, before phantom lord) which she ended up also being a bit cagey about so she let it go
* But Lucy is nosy (endearing) by nature, so she asked if he had any different holiday type traditions sometime after Galuna, and to the surprise of, well, literally everyone, he did and gave examples
* which lead down a rabbit hole of the guild fretting a bit abt how to make him comfortable (even though hed been with them for a decade) bc he mentioned he used to be really homesick the first couple years, and sometimes still is
* Most the guild still had no clue where he was from so they were really just running in circles for awhile
* Levy tried to figure it out from the time he accidentally dropped, what she assumed to be colorful curse words, random foreign language bits
* didnt really work but she tried
* so for months he was bombarded with âsubtleâ questions about his hometown and its culture, which got shut down most the time
* Thats not to say he didnt give them anything, he gave them enough that they were incorporated into existing traditions and holidays they already celebrated
* it was a very sweet gesture that Gray absolutely did not tear up at, so shut upâ
6.
* Gray is the most touch starved fool on the planet. ive always loved the idea of him liking touch a lot
* He grew up in a pretty affectionate family, his parents were always around to ruffle his hair, or hug, or hold his hand, or carry him, they were just very physically affectionate and he enjoyed it
* With it made him nauseous, guilty really, because Ur and Lyon were also physically affectionate but it wasnt them, it wasnt his family
* Also it was plain uncomfortable at times, part of learning ice magic was to almost numb himself to cold, but in the beginning numbed him to everything and it became uncomfortable to be touched because it was tingly and it hurt
* Early Fairy Tail he was completely closed off, couldnt stand being touched, didnt want to get cozy and make friends because he planned to leave anyways.
* Ice mages (Fire mages also) temperatures can fluctuate depending on how they feel, for example, if theyâre experiencing negative emotions their temperature and the space around them will get colder
* and Gray used to be so angry and upset all the time, and hed just beginning to learn magic so he didnt know how to fix it yet, which caused a lot of discomfort for people.
* People didnt stay around him long because the discomfort of being too cold, and what was he gonna do about it? ask them to come back?? hell no
* So he gained a reputation and people didnt want to disrespect a volatile childs apparent boundaries so they didnt question it
* He was fine with fighting being the only real prolonged touch hed get, totally
* But Natsus got this thing about him that makes him think he can do the impossible, which includes shaking Grays world view and comfort levels
* At some point in their teens Natsu would not let go of the alleged fact that Grays didnt like being touched for some reason, so he did what he does best and pressed the issue
* it ended with Gray being a puddle in his lap while he had a crisis about everything he thought he knew about himself while Natsu celebrated his victory against him
* Its not completely public knowledge but the guild most definitely knows at least a little about how much Gray is touch starved
* he doesnt openly welcome it with open arms but if its happening and he trusts the person hes not gonna say no
* he probably gets a euphoria high from a head pat or smth
* After getting his devil slayer magic is absolutely got worse, having two powerful ice magics, one of which he was still struggling to get the hang of, in one body made it difficult to control the temperature around him, and after long enough people would start shivering if he wasnt careful
* it sucked, totally and completely sucked
* Natsu still remained unbothered and would increase his own temperature to counterbalance Grays, which helped a lot
* he still gets all up in Grays space no matter how much Gray tell him to fuck off, he knows he needs it
#god that was a lot#fairy tail#gray fullbuster#you can tell where i started losing my grip on what i was doing#sun strickens ft#fairy tail headcanons#natsu dragneel#erza scarlet#lucy heartfilia#sun stricken answers#wendy marvell#rogue cheney#sting eucliffe#porlyusica#shes the real star for putting up with grays weekly visits#fairy tail happy#every hc i have for gray makes me want to put him in a psychiatric hospital#touch starved gray has my heart#i adore ts gray and natsu#that last section was a little sad so i gave you some cute ones with it#as a treat#say thank you#slash jay
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yo, i think i have some for Velvette and Charlie ig
Velvette is a very teasy Ler and a bratty Lee
Her worst spots are her underarms
She LOVES to Target Vox ever since she found out he was incredibly ticklish
I SWEAR she is the one to Bang her fists on the ground because "it tickles so Bad"
She squeals while laughing loudly. No Questions asked.
She WILL and CAN Target your worst spots.
Her laughs become really high-pitched if You Target her underarms LOL-
Teases You all while wrecking the living hell out of ya.
As for Charlie-
She adores tickling Vaggie, they often get into Tickle fights
Speaking of Tickle fights she and Lucifer always had little Tickle fights when she was little, for fun OR when she was feeling down
Her worst spots are her belly and Ribs
She on rare times takes the role of the Tickle monster (or most times)
Well that's all i have for now!
You might recognize me with this.
-đ
OH MY GOODNESS???? THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THESE THEYRE SO PRECIOUS HELLO!!!
VELEVETTE IS ACTUALLY AN ICON I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND HER LER STATUS IS ACTUALLY EVER PRESENT LIKE!!!
AND THAT SHOWS IN HER BRATTY LEE VIBES TOO HEHE UR SO RIGHT!! SHE IS SO COMBATIVE BUT ALSO SUPER GIGGLY!!! I LOVE THAT SHE WOULD BANG HER FISTS, MIGHT I ADD SHE WOULD KICK HER LEGS TOO? I THINK ITS ENTIRELY POSSIBLE
ALSO YES SHE TICKLES VOX ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND LETS JUST SAY EVEN THO HE S A Y S HE HATES IT, WE ALL KNOW HES A LIAR AND A DECEIVER âșïž
SHE IS SOOOOO TEASY!!!! AGREED 1000% I WOULD SAY SHES VERY MUCH A FAN OF TEASING THEM ABOUT JUST HOW TICKLISH THEY ARE?? SHE LOVES COMMENTING ON THEIR REACTIONS TO THE TOUCH. SHE MIGHT TEASE YOU ABOUT LIKING IT (especially if your name starts with a V and ends with ox)
(Very quick Valentino mention, feel free to skip if itâs not ur thing. not a Val apologist, I have just always been a villain enjoyer. his character is very interesting. Also four arms) Val and Vel teaming up as lers is actually a crazy collab that would send Vox into an early grave or I guess you know, just make him very flustered. see how I add Vox to everything i am so sorry please donât worry about it đ (i am so horrendously lee and ler for that man)
BUT YES! VELVETTE IS DEF TICKLISH! I HC SHE CAN KIND OF TURN IT OFF? LIKE PRETEND SHES NOT TICKLISH! SHES REALLY GOOD AT IT TOO, BUT IF YOU GET HER ARMPITS⊠SHES COOKED đ OR ALSO I FEEL LIKE HER KNEES ARE HELLA SENSITIVE TOO!! GOD I LOVE HER!!
CHARLIE!!!!!!
MY BELOVED, SHE LOVES TICKLES ALL DAY EVERYDAY!!!!
HER AND VAGGIES TICKLE FIGHTS ARE THE BEST?? BC VAGGIE KNOWS CHARLIE LOVES IT AND SO THEY HAVE LIKE BIGGGG TICKLE FIGHTS. LASTS FOR LIKE THE DAY SOMETIMES (THEY DO LIKE HIDE AND SEEK TYPE STUFF. CHARLIE ENJOYS THE BUILDUP AND THE IDEA OF TICKLE GAMES AND VAGGIE IS HAPPY TO OBLIGE WHETHER IT BE GIVING OR RECIEVING!)
One time they got into one of these and of course ended up getting the whole hotel involved <3 (OH AND NOW IM THINKING ABOUT THIS CONCEPT ON A GREATER SCALE I MIGHT JUST HAVE TO EXPAND ON THIS LATER)
Vaggie def prefers to be the ler but she loves watching Charlieâs face light up when she lets her tickle her (sorry this sounds so busted đ basically Vaggie is a softie for when Charlie tickles her bc Charlie gets really excited about it and has a lotta fun)
Charlie is absolutely shameless about loving tickles (kinda stealing from @kt-the-lee hi honey đœ) she is not embarrassed in the slightest and itâs just such a normal part of her identity itâs beautiful
She is also a very gentle ler. She is so excited about tickles all the time but absolutely does understand itâs not for everybody. (If Iâm being 100% canon she prooobably had to learn this one the hard way and felt bad but whoever it was gave her a hug and of course forgave her bc they knew she meant well! They also probably tickled her too just to ease her anxiety <3)
The Lucifer one is very wholeosme and sweetie. Iâm not big on family tickles personally but adorable nonetheless <3
HER BELLY AND RIBS BEING BAD SPOTS AWWW!! ID SAY TICKLISH NECK TOO <3 SENSITIVE AF AND SUPER GIGGLY IF YOU TICKLE HER THERE!
APOLOGIES FOR TAKING AGES TO RESPOND. THANK YOU FOR THE HCS THESE ARE ADORABLE AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE RANDOM ADDITIONS. IM NOT SURE I KNOW WHO THIS IS FROM YET BUT HIIII OMG
#madiâs answers!!#madis hcs up in here#hazbin hotel tickle#lee!velvette#ler!velvette#lee!charlie#ler!charlie#THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THESE HCS I LOVE THEM AWWW
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<=== clarifying the previous ask (same person)
The previous ask was supposed to be a "What are your opinions on hypothetical". So not a "it's revealed that character has this disorder", but a "what if" scenario (I'm not trying to make DID a "haha silly what if" thing I'm sorry if it's sounding like that [head in hands])
So. IF Snufkin had DID, what would your thoughts be on that?
Sorry for not just putting all this in one ask. Feel free to disregard these asks entirely bc I know talking about stuff like this can be touchy. Sorry đ
All good! I don't mind talking about DID
I'm a little confused by the wording here, so I'll try to answer best I can. If this isn't the answer you were looking for you're free to send another ask!
I think it'd be an interesting concept, at least. Honestly, I have no issue with people headcanoning characters to have DID - we get very little representation, and the representation we do get can be filled with misinformation or stigma. So let's just say for example, hypothetically, that someone wrote a fanfic with DID Snufkin (That wasn't filled with misinfo or stigma), we would absolutely read it, because hell yeah, that's rep AND from one of our favourite little guys!
Plus, the different adaptations of Snufkin have similar but also different personalities - If you put all of them in one body, then yeah, your average person wouldn't notice them switch, but they're still different from each other and people aware of their DID would probably pick up on it. You could almost just base DID Snufkin's alter's on all the different adaptations and it'd work perfectly fine - Theyre similar enough to be covert like DID normally is, but different enough that yeah, they're alters, and anyone who's close enough to Snufkin might pick up on the personality changes.
The only issue I have with possible DID Snufkin is purely the fact that many people still have a lot of misinfo about DID and I worry people would portray DID Snufkin with that misinfo. For example, a lot of people still believe in 'Cores' or 'The Original Alter' - Which are not a thing. And yet many people who headcanon their favourite characters with DID portray it as 'Oh, and their CORE would be XYZ" and it's just no!! There's no one original person! If you shatter a mirror, is there an original mirror? No, it's just parts of what could have been one mirror.
But assuming that there's no misinfo and it's not stigmatising, then hell yeah. DID Snufkin. Banger fic idea. Extra rep. If you were wanting to do a DID Snufkin AU, have at it and feel free to ask for any info you need.
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absolutely unrelated to the dreadful little polycule BUT. hey mark was there at deadwood right. like in canon. what do u think post-muse ashe and mark even Look like. i feel like. there's no way they could be normal after that. not that they can in canon but even Less after what ashe knows mark's seen him do. also GOD how does. tidalwave mark coming over to deadwood mark dragging tide with him happen..... one second im still thinking about the dreadful little polycule u know ill always talk ur ear off Abt them!!!
this ask has been cooking in my inbox for WEEKS because thinking about post-muse mark and ashe makes me so fucking sick dude. god. okay. fucking huge ramble about them under the cut
not going to answer the tidalwave thing yet because we NEED 2 discuss what happens to tide instead of depowering him bc that would fucking kill him and we CANNOT kill our dad. i know we mentioned him taking an armsmaster style retirement/thinly veiled house arrest but. thats a conversation for later hehe
ANYWAY. FUCK . POST-MUSE ASHE MY POOR LITTLE BOY. god. this is all going to be hypotheticals and questions honestly. but like. god. thinking abt the scene like. IMMEDIATELY after the trickster lets him go. the trickster lets go of him and ashe just fucking slumps to the ground like a (pun very much intended) puppet with his strings cut. hes not unconscious, hes awake, but the last time he was free and aware he had to watch himself rip william in half! lol! i think that all hits him at once and he just like. falls to his fucking knees!!! and like. mark pov. thats his son his son is free hes had to watch all of this in shock and horror but now ashe is free after so fucking long and all he wants to do is rush forward and hug him (pick him up, bundle him in his arms like he did when ashe first triggered, carry him in the car as they speed out of the quarantine zone hoping nobody is following them-) and i think he gets as far as. falling to his knees next to ashe, but as soon as his hand makes contact i think ashe flinches so hard its almost like the touch hurt him. hes just. staring at his dad with these huge eyes and shallow breaths and hes shaking and crying and its a fucking MESS and mark doesnt know what to DO and the wards are standing in a loose semicircle behind him and ashe does NOT like all of these eyes on him. he knows these are people who love him but he doesnt know ... what the fuck theyre going to think of him. after. all of that.
i think it would be fun (/evil) if for..... a little while after he's free ashe is just CONSTANTLY waiting for the other shoe to drop. he knows trickster has mal now, he believes that was real, and mal can make illusions. so . whats to say this isnt just all. fake. one of these days hes going to wake up covered in blood and gore and new piercings stinging and aching and . ashe winters will just be the empty aftermath of muse again. i cannot IMAGINE a world in which mark would let him out of his sight again... maybe not in the same completely suffocating way he did when ashe was a kid but like. he definitely insists on ashe living with him again. just. theres a sort of nervous hesitance that wasnt there before. mark is so much more Present now that he doesnt have to work for overlord anymore. he's at home. he makes breakfast and dinner and his footsteps are still loud and heavy but theyre cautious and the way he knocks on ashes door is a lot more gentle than it used to be . i just think theyre both like... scared of each other. ashe scared to relax because he thinks that everything could be fake and he doesnt know what anyone really thinks of him anymore (he is so full of shame and guilt over what he did as muse- i dont think anyone would directly Tell Him but i think . he would probably look up the news, just to *know*). and mark is scared because he doesnt know what to do. he doesnt want to make anything worse. he lets the wards and tide visit whenever they want (because he trusts them) because familiar faces and voices might help ashe feel normal again, but hes still. just. so full of paranoia that something else could go wrong.. and all he wants to do is just. put ashe in a vault or something that could keep him safe from anything that could ever hurt him again. but also he knows thats exactly what the trickster was doing to him (and what mark did to him his entire childhood) so he doesnt.
this is . entirely self indulgent and maybe ooc a little bit but i really really REALLY want the first step of them like... healing. is for mark to be doing something maybe in the kitchen or the living room and ashe slowly trudges into the room feet dragging, hair tangled and hanging in his face OBVIOUSLY not touched at all, nervous energy twitchy at everything like he has been for weeks, but instead of sitting himself in the corner or with his back against a wall he just... comes up next to mark and bumps his forehead into his back/arm/whatever. and he doesnt say anything and mark freezes up bc he doesnt want to make any sudden moves and scare him but then after like. a couple long seconds of stillness and silence ashe hugs him. mark asks (voice really quiet) if hes okay, and ashes shakes his head (which is more just like. sideways rocking his forehead without breaking contact) and mark asks if he can hug him back (nod this time) and they just kind of. sink to the floor and theyre crying and hugging and they dont talk about it later but i think thats when it clicks in ashes brain like. huh okay maybe this is real.
#sorry im a fuckignggngnnn sucker for a good dad hug. mark winters hug your son challenge.#i could say. so much more abt them probably but i feel like i kind of lost the plot a little bit and forgot where i was going with this#auauguhghghghhghhg#asks#friends!!!#intertexts#new haven wards
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im so fucking mad right now. this is a rant post that i will probably delete later on, i just need to yell. mutuals- especially new mutuals that dont know much about me, feel free to ignore. cause this isnt gonna be pretty.
oh my fucking god. i cant believe how low humanity can go. i cant believe how bad shit they can say and think its completely okay. or even worse know the shit theyre saying is terrible but dont care. you can NOT go on a post of a r4p3 victim and say you WANT IT TO BE YOU. do you have ANY IDEA how absolutely jarring, traumatizing, dehumanizing it is ????
i cant believe i had to debate someone. for this. 'but what if i like having my power taken away?' THEN YOURE SUBMISSIVE. THERE'S A FUCKING WORD FOR THAT. you can not compare a normal, basic thing such as being submissive to the most dehumanizing and hurtful act you can do to a human. i hate talking about this but apparently some people are so fucking stupid and insensitive that they cant understand.
'it is normal to sexualize something that is already sexual in nature' NO. NO. JUST NO. r4p3 is NOT an act of sex. it is an act of violence, torture, it is an act of dehumanizing god knows how many times i said that. it's not something you can just call 'non-con' and pass it. no. 'wahh >w<!! i wish someone would r4p3 m-' r4p3 isn't sex. it isnt and never will be. and yes i have legit seen posts like that and people liking and reblogging it. you're just submissive, you do NOT want to be r4p3d. you do not.
i cant take it. what kind of sick bastard are you? each time i remember those posts i want to gag. what the actual fuck. asking people to send them r4p3 threats to get off on. making imagine scenarios where you are r4p3d by several men. fine, you like bdsm or like to be dominated. i have no words for that. but you have no idea what the actual hell r4p3 is. how it destroys a life and kills it.
in here, in my country, recently a 2 year old child died in a hospital. they said the child was 'dropped'. no. the child was molested, TWO FUCKING YEARS OLD. i have read stories about someone telling their own experience that no one believed them, they were getting molested by a fucking adult that lived in their APARTMENT as a CHILD. me, I was SIX FUCKING YEARS OLD.
you dont know what the hell you are talking about. Junko Furuto looks down on all of you in disappointment. all victims of Ted Bundy, looks down on all of you in disappointment. the kids that died in the Red Room, all the past victims that has died. they all look down at you in disappointment.
last words in this rant that i will repeat whenever needed:
trauma is not your fetish. get help. there is something wrong with you.
#im so disappointed#this shouldnt be where humanity is#be a decent person#its not hard#i cant believe this#tw sex assault#tw r4p3#tw ptsd#tw trauma#tw childhood trauma
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re parent regret article.... recently got my mom to admit she and my dad are deeply unhappy and the only reason they got married and had kids (in their early 20s, and it has dictated every moment of their lives since) is because it was what was expected of them and they felt like it was just the thing to do ... its very upsetting to think of how unhappy and unfulfilled my parents are but at the same time its kind of freeing because I understand a lot of their actions better now and their inability to raise us and give me the care I needed. this year I am older than my parents were when they had my oldest sibling and I kind of feel like im older than them now because theyve never fully grown past that point at least not as individuals. ya I suppose everyone has their paths in life and it all fits together and works and means something but it is very sad to realize your childhood was painful because your parents were really just not suited to be parents and couldn't have done any better. im trying to not be weighed down by their lack of self actualization and to be an example for them by manifesting my life in the way I want despite them being upset by it, and to encourage them to become real people now that theyre 60.. umm ya sorry your inbox has become my therapy sessions recently it just feels so much better to confess these things anonymously and write it all out to someone instead of trying to explain to someone face to face and have it deal with their responses. plus i think u understand a lot of my issues although objectively our lives are quite different! anyway yeah hope you have a nice day!!!! xoxo 2012 :3
ilu <3 i relate to much of this i will detail my thoughts below , im glad my inbox can be of use to u i believ The Confessional is a very necessary function in society it can be so transcendent to get something off your chest w/o having to affect your personal life in any way ^^ and i did have a super nice day ty i hope u did too..<3 :readmore:
it is really crazy to think about the pressure ppl face to start families , seems to be less prevalent now but yeah even 20-30 yrs ago it was just, What You Do.. for my parents, they were in love, and i think they rly did want kids, they were together for 5 years before doing it they planned it out, i DO believe they were soulmates. but then once the reality set in idrk there was just this disconnect. my dad was the more nurturing parent, and he had kids from a prior marriage so he knew wat he was in for, i think he missed my brothers a lot so he had perspective. i assume anyway. but he was also major alcoholic which i thought was normal for so long (in england it is i spose). that took up a lot of his time. i know so little about him or his inner workings its quite torturous to me lol.
and my mom is still alive but i know so little about her too, other than stuff i learned thru drunken outbursts. when i try to ask her anything remotely personal or emotional now she stonewalls me so hard :/ she's always just been closed. her childhood was Horrific tho like both her parents were still minors when she was born, her mom is a WW2 orphan and her dad was a delinquent forced to enlist in the navy instead of being sent to juvie. all the stuff she HAS revealed to me abt her life is absolutely bats**t. its awful like i genuinely can not feel a single morsel of bitterness towards my mom knowing wat she's been thru.
that being said i WAS extremely angry at her for a big portion of my life its been a journey to unravel. but at this point i feel so much forgiveness idek how i got here or when. but i love her unconditionally! i also feel that my moms self actualization was rly stunted, not even by having kids but by my dads death, and being left with these kids she has to care for alone, oh god if i try to imagine how she felt it turns my insides to stone. like it really fractured her soul and made existing problems spiral out of control. although that being said she is doing WAY better now in comparison to the past, im rly proud of her. when we talk i try to always encourage her like u say..
really the best medicine is being able to zoom out and view the big picture of Life, not just your life but how all our lives fit together, when you zoom out you can spot the patterns find the order in the chaos. for ages n ages i cldnt understand the reason everything in my life was hell while all these other ppl i knew seemed to have it so normal. Nowadays i can understand how it lead me here, the trajectory and timing of everything, it brought me a lot of EXPerience i can use to help others..Even just by having this blog where i can talk about vulnerable topics , ppl tell me it helps them, i begin to see a new sense of value in my endured sufferings. if i feel like im healing someone that heals me ..
thanx for the msg :] ermm i hope my response dont come off as traumadumping or something LOL i write this all with a matter-of-fact tone in mind. just explaining some stuff for anyone who may need it. hope u have a good night 2012-chan keep shining bright for your family.. <3pmd9
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For the ship ask game: Marluxia/SaĂŻx, please! đ
(referring to this ship ask meme)
Its threading the line between Makes Sense, Compels Me and Doesnt Make Sense, Compels Me tbh!
this got long so uh under the cut to save your dashspace lmao
okay. okay. Marluxia/SaĂŻx
listen. Horrible bitchy power-hungry usurpers that hate everyone and have cotton-candy hair and will do everything in their power to be snide shitty and get their way while also covering up a deep and intimate loss of a formative female figure in their lives I get it I get it these two should AT MINIMUM go get coffee together or something fr.
My chat and I talk CONSTANTLY about Marluxia being so peanutbutter and jealous over SaĂŻx being Xemnas' fave special boy and being big mad because does he want to be in SaĂŻx's place or does he want to be SaĂŻx or does he want to be WITH SaĂŻx god he's a mess and he's going to go sit and talk to a potted plant until he feels a bit better. Why is that stuck up moon prick so pretty and insufferable and whats his deal and is he free of Friday night? of course he wouldn't be UGH he's such a dickhead nevermind but he's so cute tho
I think. They would have amazing chemistry if for the love of god they just pulled their heads out of their asses and sat and had a normal convo however my take on these silly little disneyanime guys is far removed from canon ajsdhask hence why it both does and doesn't make sense. Like absolutely they're both self-serving (to an extent) jerks who are narrow-viewed and focused only on their own gain and its physically impossible for either of them to care at all but. Man. If they had a little more time to just chill and hang out and discuss things like normal people I think they'd have a lot in common and would actually get along and be civil and hell can you imagine them working together poor Xemnas wouldn't stand a chance against his two fave bitch prettymen coming for his throat arm in arm
I feel like they'd be that kind of couple that are either like cat and dog and fight constantly and bicker and spit vitriol and no one knows why the fuck they're together because PATENTLY whatever this is isn't working (when actually no one *gets it* except the other and they have a strange and corrosive bond) or its just like. They just click. Theyre seamless with one another. there's a flow, an equilibrium, they both want the same things and can look at something and process it the same way. I think they'd be absolutely despicable together as Nobodies, Literally cataclysmic levels of insufferable cunt and snide violence and god poor Axel would never know peace. However I am very very much of the view that Any And All Nobody-based Romances are doomed to fail by the narrative so. Maybe it should be kept to a sordid little affair more than anything else. That would probably be the for best. You just know SaĂŻx would be so super bent out of shape abt it tho lmaoooo
I'm a sucker for XemSai (as I'm sure everyone knows well by now) but I'm also a big sucker for LauriEven/MarVex and one of my big headcanons for the latter is that post kh3 when things have settled down, Lauriam and Isa hang out. Isa is friends with Even more than Lauriam but. I really really like the idea of Lauriam perhaps approaching Isa and just being normal around him? They go out on coffee runs and just talk, they meet up every so often to catch up, talk about how Lea and the kids are and how Radiant Garden is coming together again and yes the flowers here are so nice and I understand why you would want to live here and I Just! Really Like! Isa being a supportive character towards semi-dad-figure Even and now that everyone is cool and not wanting to murder each other Lauriam is actually really civil and dare he think it even good for dear old Even and Isa just kinda! Likes him! They become friends. Like friends with no baggage, no pressure, just hey if Isa swings around RG way again do you wanna get lunch and catch up? Theyre just normal guys now with a lot in common and a future ahead and its just comfortable having someone similar a phonecall away that is happy to listen and provide a fresh outlook on daily things, yknow?
I think. all the time. About a LauriEven marriage where Isa is asked at the reception to dance with them both because he's like. Even sees him as 'one of the kids he saw grow up' and they bonded over their work and they've always gotten along, surrogate son and dad relationship, and Lauriam, softened and approachable with his new heart just as Isa is, feels able to reach out and know that Isa is ever-reliable and genuinely wants things to be better for everyone. I just think that they'd make really really nice like family-friends who platonically love and appreciate each other once they have hearts..... as Nobodies, maybe not so much ahsdgahskd
I know my take on isa is generally very soft and doting but just let me have this asdhaskjdj
anyway this was a rambling splurge of words and I will be thinking about this for the rest of the evening thank you I love this I am going to go sit in my bathtub and think about the symbolism of moonflowers a lot.
tl;dr: I love them as a platonic ship but there is def potential there and I love them both separately (and with others) so so much
#THANK YOU FOR THE ASK I LOVE TALKING TO PEOPLE#ship meme#ask meme#marluxia#SaĂŻx#lauriam#isa#even#vexen#xemnas#lea#captainbobbin#text post#ask
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hi :)) I'm going to be finding a houseshare in a few months and it's lowkey stressing me. I think I saw you say you live with housemates so would you be able to talk about the process of getting a house share and like how bills work if you're sharing with strangers and stuff please? Thank you! (feel free to ignore if you don't feel comfy, I understand!)
im sorry youre stressing out đ«đ« it can be a really scary and stressful thing to live with strangers in a new place but i can absolutely try and help!! (sorry it got so long its all under the cut)
i can only really talk about my experience with it but if you go online and type in "house shares in [your area]" you'll probably get a few different sites come up with listings that you can go through. they'll normally have pictures of the room and any other communal spaces and the building itself. they'll also list things like how many people there are living there already and whether the landlord lives in the house too (can be a good thing as they'll probably get around to any problems way faster than if they lived elsewhere) the genders of the people living there (some places will list only male/females) and other stuff like utilities etc etc. they'll either list the rent per week or per month so watch out for that and whether bills are included in this varies (mine are included luckily) but most of the time things like water, electricity, gas are included and then maybe the wifi is added on as an extra payment. they will also say what the deposit is and the minimum/maximum stay time. once youve found a place that looks good actually contacting the landlord is easy. they will have ways of contacting them listed and so you just need to phone or text or email saying that youre interested in the room and is it okay if you could book a viewing. they'll show you around and ask you about yourself and this is your opportunity to ask any questions that you might have to. (also check for mould especially when looking in the bathrooms trust me you dont want to live where theres mould.) but just be friendly and polite and try not to worry too much. theyre trying to sell You something they want Your money after all so theyre probably going to be trying to impress you more than you'll be trying to impress them. it doesnt hurt to mention that you have a few other viewings booked if the opportunity to comes up (even if you dont). also dont be afraid to tell them if you are no longer interested afterwards for whatever reason its important to communicate that. when it comes to actually living with strangers it depends how it goes gndhfnhd i dont really talk to the other people i live with and just keep to myself. it can be annoying when people dont clean up after themselves or are noisy late at night or have other bad habits so you have to be prepared to deal with those things but most places will have a groupchat of some sort that you can bring issues up in if they keep happening. it does take a while to get used to living with people you dont know and it can be annoying to not have a bathroom or kitchen to yourself but its definitely a lot more affordable than renting a studio apartment or small flat and isnt the worst thing in the world. i wish you luck on your search and i hope i helped a bit fhshhf if you have any more questions please feel free to shoot me another ask or even a dm if your comfortable with that.
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hi cas, reg kin anon back
so, ive looked into it a little but i couldnt find any information online about whether my uni could offer free counselling/support when i get there, so its something i think ill just have to ask about once i actually get there.
which... is in three days. i move out on wednesday 11th, and its absolutely terrifying how soon that is. i feel so underprepared and i hate feeling like that because im the type of person to have multiple backup plans, i always check ahead of time about everything, i was that kid who used to make sure they knew everything they needed to if they got in a car accident or whatever. i was *prepared*, and now suddenly im moving out in three days and havent a clue what im doing.
its also so overwhelming trying to do anything. ive tried making lists to help but even that isnt working, and im so afraid i wont be prepared to go. i dont understand how anyone can be okay with anything anymore. i honestly cant believe i ever wished so badly to be an adult because its the most stressful, frustrating, and terrifying thing ever â and ive not even hit the tip of the iceberg yet, im well aware.
so far ive packed dry foods i bought beforehand (because ive no fucking clue where the food shops are where im moving, or how far they will be, or how easy itll be to trnasport shopping etc, so i figured it would be easier to bring anything i could so that id be set for a day or two at least), and thats about it. i cant pack clothes until the day before, and i cant pack toiletries until just before since ill still be using them, and im not packing all the stuff i bought in earlier asks (bedding, towels etc) until im packing clothes, because right now *theyre* all in my suitcase and theres no point taking them out and taking up more space with them until the clothes need to go in instead. i need to pack my plates and cups and such but i dont have any boxes and my father was supposed to get me some but hes done fuck all this past week and its really stressing me out.
is moving always this stressful or am i just overthinking everything? i feel like i never feel correctly about anything in life (ive had severe anxiety for longer than i can remember which really doesnt help) so i cant tell if im just being dramatic about it or if its actually normal to be so stressed about something that everyone does. would it be easier or more difficult without my mother's diagnosis? i dont know that she'd have helped much anyway, honestly, but still i cant help wondering. do people in normal families find it this difficult or is it calmer?
Hi!!!
Well by the time you read this you'll have moved!
Honestly, there's no real way to be completely prepared. You're gonna forget something, something will go wrong, and part of adulthood is just knowing that things go wrong and it's okay. It'll be okay, and you can figure it out, I promise.
Would it be easier if things were normal? Probably. But moving is still stressful no matter what. I promise you, everyone is stressed about this, and everyone is going to forget something and make mistakes. The most important thing is to find people to rely on, so when you make a mistake, you have people to help, you know? Adulthood is really just calling someone up and saying "I fucked up" and then as soon as you figure it out, someone calls you and says the same.
It'll be okay <3 I'm sending so much love.
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Maybe Jun and getting locked in for the plot game?đ«¶
so ur on a trip with jun and several of his buddies (i wanna say 96z + 97z) and renting a place with enough rooms for most of u to just comfortably pair up with you + jun getting rooms to urselves by luck of the draw. no big deal, ur gonna enjoy having a room to urself teehee
and it starts like. not so subtly. mingyu asking if you're single (you say yes), seokmin subtly asking if you'd ever date someone here, minghao suggesting jun... wonwoo just watches like. ur all so dumb. i love my dumb friends. soonyoung does jump at the opportunity to be like 'ohh you and jun would be cute :))' and ur like hmm idk
which begins operation 'get these two idiots to fall in love.' it starts w them just pairing you two up for things casually (neither of you mind--you're pretty close and everyone knows it), or ditching the two of you sometimes, etc. and one night theyre all drinking (you and jun arent, alongside jihoon and maybe wonwoo who is literally just here to watch shit go down now), and eventually you step into another room to take a call from a family member
and a few minutes later, jun comes in to check on you bc he knows some stuff has been going on at home and he just wants to make sure ur alright. you tell him its all good--just your dad calling to check in on you and give you updates. he kisses your forehead and you thank him for worrying, and the two of you are like 'yknow... maybe we should just tell them?'
except the door is locked. its either soonyoung or mingyu's fault, maybe even both. you kinda just try to yell at them to let you out, but it doesnt work. so u and jun kinda just sit down and recount... literally everything that the others have been doing while missing the obvious the entire time. the fact that jun will come into your room at night to talk and cuddle (which soonyoung straight up walked in on once, didnt blink an eye because its legit so normal for the two of you to cuddle even though jun had just barely pulled away from sneaking a little kiss in time), or the way that the two of you hold hands not-so-subtly.
(literally wonwoo + jihoon + minghao have all noticed by now. wonwoo and jihoon literally told y'all about the plan. you figure you can get free dinner out of mingyu for this shit and jun's on board w the idea)
honestly the two of u would just straight up stage a fight until mingyu opens the door, way more concerned than before, until it ends with you and jun kinda just laughing and stealing a kiss and the two of u just being like 'we've been dating for months u dumb dumbs' and soonyoung being like WAIT SO YOU TWO WERE KISSING THAT DAY??? and suddenly u feel like the two of u are one of few adults in the room as the boys lose their collective minds over how the two of you have kept this secret
and then you literally give mingyu and the rest of the ones involved w this plan shit for not letting you and jun tell them naturally. it absolutely ends with a drunk mingyu on his knees, begging you to forgive him. good news tho! you have meals for the next week (mingyu), and are now owed favors by the rest of them. you'll decide what you want when you want it.
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Forgot that i even signed up to do a box office shift for the current show at the theater which i now have a very sour relationship with which ill ramble a bit about under the cut but basically something just came up with my mom where i wont be able to make it to do the box office and i had been dreading it so im just like (completely monotone voice and deadpan expression) oh how terrible. Its so horrible that i cant go do free work for this organization that hates me. So sad. Anyway
Didnt want to really dwell on it when it happened so i didnt post about it but like two weeks ago i did a favor for my martial arts classmate who is a jewlrey artist and sells her work at the local farmers market, she had surgery and needed to rest so i took over her farmers market booth that saturday and the guy next to me was someone i knew- the father of the person from that theater id say i have the most positive relationship with and their parents do a lot of work with the theater and are nice and have never been weird to me so it was nice to have someone i knew in the booth right next to me. Anyway since theyre very involved in that theater they know the more higher ups in that theater board etc etc and anyway the like current owner of the theater came by his booth AND one of the people involved in the performance i did last october too (WHICH I STILL HAVE NEVER BEEN PAID FOR WHEN THEY SAID MULTIPLE TIMES THAT THEY WOULD PAY ALL THREE OF US ACTORS)- i could maybe see the owner not knowing me since ive never been in a show hes directed (although i have auditioned for his shows) but the other lady ABSOLUTELY knows me and would have recognized me. Anyway i wanted to be friendly and at least say hi to them even if talking is hard i wanted to be nice yknow but they just. POINTEDLY ignored me. And i dont think this is me being paranoid or missing a social cue/misreading a situation before. Ive been ignored and isolated plenty of times in my life. They were talking to this guy 3 feet from me and refusing to look at me and then making a point to walk in the opposite direction so they didnt have to walk past me. And honestly at the time i felt like this burning feeling of anger and confusion and hurt where its like i literally have no fucking idea why this group of people have decided that they dislike me and that they dislike me enough to not give me ANY roles in any show i audition for and to only ever ask me to do unpaid shit for them (when they KNOW i live farther away than anyone else) and theres just a whole laundry list of how ive gone out of my way to do everything i can to be helpful and kind and to like be a good part of what i hoped was a cool theater community but in the end i just get exploited, lied to, and then treated like i fucking killed someone. I literally have zero clue what i could have done beyond just generally having visible traits of not being ~normal~ enough for them. It just is frustrating especially when this group is always talking about being progressive and inclusive and shit but i know damn well they treated a disabled actor know who uses a cane like shit and wouldnt cast them bc of that.
Anyway tldr i think im done with that theater. Ive had enough and their whole "theme" this season is "the american dream" and i just am like. Actually fuck that fuck the american dream and fuck the united states i dont want to do theater with neoliberal bootlickers anyway
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oh my god i never told you guys abt my disaster twins competitive pkmn players concept. one sec ill put it under a cut for you bc this might get long lmao
so basically. gen 9 came out, and the boys, in their recent-switch glory, were like omg hell yes. game time. donnie and leo both get violet and mikey and raph both get scarlet (theyve got their own games bc they would tear each other apart if they had to share physical copies trust me) and generally trade around exclusives and chill etc etc. also while im on this leo picks quaxly, mikey is a toss up between fuecoco and quaxly, raph picks fuecoco obvs, and donnie picks sprigatito, as does april when she gets her own copy of violet later (which she honestly only chose for the loyalty points lmao she likes karaidon better)
anyways i was saying. donnie is one of those nerds who like perfectly iv trains his normal ass in-game team and builds perfect compositions around typings and looks up the gyms types n stuff and he was SO excited when he learned abt tera types and how they impacted team comps
leo on the other hand has the messiest type crossover and team comp EVER but still manages to thrash his opponents bc he uses really good movesets and strategies
the twins get into watching competitive videos while they play violet in silence together (hashtag parallel play) until donnie eventually starts commenting on weird stat spreads and leo eventually bursts out about shitty move choices and weird sets, or leo starts showing donnie videos abt odd pkmn getting high in latters, and then they start watching showdown battles...
and they lightbulb.
donnie loves building teams more than anything else, loves making them efficient as humanly possible.
leo loves showing the potential of odd pokemon and would kill for a good strategic challenge after all this time (hes been protecting against nemona and using electroweb against gym leaders, poor guy).
and, well, its not like you need anything special to get on the ladder in violet...
they start out simple, donnie building a basic team and leo reviewing it before going at the basic gen 9 ladders.
they kind of wreck house.
they just start going at the ladders with that team in their free time, then a different one when they get bored, then one with a few oddballs when donnie decides to ask leo what pokemon he wants to use, then they get kind of bored of just paldean pokemon so donnie gets to work understanding showdown...
but while its fun, they dont have anyone to brag to, because their brothers have no fucking clue what theyre talking about.
donnie has experience with youtube, right?
so they set up a little joint thing; a channel called disasterx2, no webcam, just videos about ladder battles. they end up specializing both in unique teams and movesets and in just vids about breaking down walls in ladders with a normal team. what makes both nifty is that donnie explains the whole team comp in a separate video to the battles, and the aesthetic quality is improved by donnies sensibilities and mikeys input (he was absolutely excited when they asked him to help with it. leo was no help. so much offense, actually, i have a feeling his fashion sense is good but the moment you try to make him make something look good visually on its own hes screwed.), and leos strategies are batshit, and ofc the boys are the boys, they go on tangents sometimes when they do real-time audio during battles and sometimes they just. dont cut them out. raph and mikey make guest appearances sometimes, april cheers them on on occasion, her and raph are very relieved bc its finally something non destructive they can spend their time on, its all great.
leo very often picks pokemon and movesets out and then donnie provides the pokemon (through breeding and stat spread tweaking, because god knows hed love that nerd shit). donnie likes it because 1. how leo uses those outlier pokemon is very interesting and 2. it gives him an opportunity to think about how to apply the right stats, natures, etc to apply to the pokemon and moves leo chose.
one of my favorite ever headcanons is that leo gets quiet when he focuses. like, dead quiet, and terrifyingly quiet. hes well known in their fandom for being very chatty over voiceover and then pretty quiet whenever hes playing challenging battles. donnie doesnt understand the strategies all that well so when leo gets too focused he just talks a lot abt the stat spreads and they add extra text to the video lmao. sometimes they utilize their clueless family members to have them ask questions they wouldnt have considered due to their knowledge in videos, sometimes donnie snags mikey while leos too quiet when theyre doing real-time audio, etc the fam knows theyre just glad theyre having fun
looks around flips through my mental notebook. nods twice. thats it i think! basically i think itd be fun if the twins played competitive but donnie built the teams and leo played hehe. i thought of it one day and it just stuck with me. anyways thanks for sticking w me through this long post that i need to end before my phone glitches out oops
#i DO have a laptop but. i started on mobile. sooo#hope a post thats just a headcanon like this was fun to read at least lmao#rottmnt#pokemon#lunas lies#for new ppl context thats just my talk tag im not actually lying prommy lmao#disaster twins#ehhh kinda? its the focus/the point at least#rise leo#rise donnie#mom come pick me up im still bad at tags
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