#absolutely covered in yolk over here

[fishfingersandscarves]

lil birdie

[sxfterhearts]

can I request a cute date with intak that takes place in the rain but doesn't stop them from enjoying their time together?

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ sweet bf!intak x reader ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

♡ genre/warnings: fluff!!! y/n is having a bad day but a cute rainy date with intak makes everything better <3

♡ word count: 1,216 words

♡ author's note: ahh thank you so much for requesting anon!! this is the first time i've written in over a month omg i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it :")

//

damn it. 

you were late. by 10 minutes, to be exact.

on any other day, you were punctual. but today, of all days, things just didn’t seem to be going your way.

your pre-exam tradition – two half-boiled eggs for breakfast, turned out to be very hard-boiled this morning. you rushed out of the door to catch the bus with a lingering dryness in your mouth (from the yolks, no doubt), only to realise when you were approaching the bus stop that you forgot your umbrella and there was no time to turn back. there were no free seats on the bus so you had to stand by the back door, shuffling awkwardly every time the bus made a stop. your regular seat by the window overlooking the school field was taken by some lanky, blonde boy. and to top it all off, you overheard your classmates claiming they wrote down completely different answers to yours as you dashed out of the exam hall to catch the first bus out of there.

the moment you stepped out of the bus, you felt it. 

a drop. and then another. and then one more. 

you sighed. today, of all days, why did everything have to be so difficult?

you took cover under the bus stop as rain began to fall all around you. your lips worked itself into a permanent pout as you pulled out your phone, fingers flying across the screen as you sent a quick text to update intak that you arrived at your meeting spot, and to apologise for being late.

you were meant to go on a date – the first in two weeks. a date to unwind after the exam you’ve been studying and preparing and dreading all week. a date to walk around seoul forest and be one with nature and take in the greenery, the ponds and the birds chirping. a date to spend time and be with your boyfriend, intak.

who, speaking of, was calling your name from across the street. 

“y/n!!”

you looked up, and felt your tense shoulders and furrowed eyebrows relax itself upon meeting his eyes. the weight you carried around all day gradually lightened. there he was, your boyfriend, hwang intak – happiness personified, million-watt lopsided smile, umbrella in hand. if he had a tail, you were absolutely sure it’d be wagging excitedly by now.

“hold on!” he shouted before looking both ways and sprinting towards you.

you watched, transfixed, as your happiness spread and unfolded before your very eyes. you couldn’t help but to feel your heart tug and pull you towards him.

“hey,” intak saw you and his excited smile shifted into one of understanding and empathy. he could tell, by your body language and facial expression, that today hadn’t been the best for you.

instead of exchanging greetings, you just hugged him. you wanted to; no, needed to recharge your batteries by being close to him.

intak just smiled quietly while hugging you back. as your boyfriend, he knew that you needed time to soak in the present moment and enjoy being in his embrace. he realised, as you snuggled closer, that he liked the thought of being needed like this.

after a few silent moments, you peeled away and looked up at him.

he looked back expectantly. “better?”

“so much better. i’m all recharged.” you placed a sweet kiss on his cheek and he replied by pressing his soft lips on your forehead. “but the date is ruined.”

“what do you mean?” he followed your line of sight, which was shooting daggers at the grey skies above. “we have an umbrella, y/n.” he chuckled.

“but…”

“c’mon, it’ll be a little uncomfortable, but we’ll have so much fun. trust me! here.” like magic, intak conjured up two cans from his pocket. a hot latte for you, and a can of soymilk for himself. “have this, it’ll warm you up.”

the two of you linked arms and walked around the park. while savouring your warm drinks, you pointed things out to each other. the little things, like how the water droplets gathered on a single petal or leaf, or the buds that were ready and eager to bloom into flowers, or the funny shapes of the puddles, and jumping over said puddles. you both huddled close as a chilly wind blew over you, coaxing the trees into a flamboyant dance and the leaves to rustle in a calming song, accompanied by the gentle pitter-patter of rain on your shared umbrella. you closed your eyes and took a deep breath, letting nature wash away the remnants of your tiring day. 

intak couldn’t resist the urge to take photos of you – you standing in the rain, you crouching down to admire the flowerbeds, you chasing the ducks around the pond. inevitably, he got himself wet in the process.

“it’s just a bit of rain.” intak shrugged and shot you his signature smile. he shook the droplets off his hair and sprinkled you with raindrops in the process. 

and you know what? he was right. before you met him, you used to be really set in your ways. you were not particularly spontaneous, and would feel uncomfortable if things didn’t go to plan, or worse, if there wasn’t a plan. but since meeting intak, who had a completely different outlook on life, you’ve been exposed to a new perspective. you learned to go with the flow – to let things go, to focus less on the outcome and to just have fun in the process. it was like something inside you shifted.

you found a dry patch under a big tree. using a stick, you began to draw shapes in the dirt. intak quickly caught on, and tried to add his own drawings to yours. the two of you tag teamed, taking turns drawing each stroke of an animal that the other had to guess. you failed miserably, given your lack of artistic skills. the game concluded when intak drew a heart with your names in the centre. it was so cheesy, and it made you feel like the main character’s love interest in a high school romcom, but you loved it. 

intak didn’t mind being a huge cheeseball, as long as it meant he got to see that pretty smile of yours. yes, definitely worth it, he decided as you leaned in for a kiss that tasted like a mix of coffee and soymilk– a perfect combination, he thought. after all, the boy is in love with you.

“shall we get lunch?” he asked.

“yes, but i’m craving pancakes. kimchi pancakes, vegetable pancakes… and makgeolli.”

intak shot you a knowing smile. the initial plan was to try this new viral pasta restaurant close by. that was the reason why you met near seoul forest in the first place.

but it just wasn’t the right weather for pasta – it was raining, and the only correct answer for what to eat on a rainy day in korea is pancakes and makgeolli. the sound of oil splashing and splattering when frying the pancakes, or jeon, resembled the sound of raindrops. 

intak was happy because he knew you were becoming more open to trying things, and learning to adapt. he felt his chest blossom with pride.

“i know just the right place.”

[contentloadingandstuff]

Happy Birthday, Kujou Sara! - Kujou Sara x Male!Reader

AN: Happy birthday to our favorite bird general! Enjoy your little fluffy gift.

You pull on the string, stirring the doorbell to ring out. As you wait for her attendant to open the door, you quickly adjust your wear. Kujou Sara, even if she was your friend, didn't deserve to be treated with anything but your absolute best. Even if the evening was rather stuffy, you chose to prepare your more formal outfit - a blend of dō and hakama, perfect for both official business and casual meetings. 

After a moment, the wooden gate is opened and one of Sara's maids greets you with a polite bow. She motions towards the garden where, just a few steps from her, the Tengu stands. She's wearing clothes one would rarely see adorning her body - a modest kimono, decorated only with the sash and her mask. The smile on her lips is as uncommon as her attire. 

“Hello! I’m glad you're here.” She speaks, approaching you. “Thank you for coming.”

You meet her halfway. “It's good to see you too, Sara.”

You bow slightly, Sara returning your gesture. Your eyes meet for a moment. Her golden pupils gleam in the red light of the setting sun. You smile. Sara’s lips shift as well, but her demeanor turns a little sheepish as she averts her eyes. 

You can't help but think the slight red tint on her cheeks might not be makeup. 

Observing the situation, the maid steps in, bowing cordially. “May we invite you inside for a meal, my Lord?”

Sara shakes her head, suddenly brought back to reality. “Of c-course. Please, Y/N, come inside. I've prepared something for the occasion.”

You nod eagerly. “I can't wait to sample your cooking.”

The maid leads you through the gardens and into the guest room where a small table awaits you. You hand over your katana and equipment, taking a place on the mat opposite Sara. 

The table is full of various snacks. Crisp and plump Lavender Melons and Sunsettia, cut into sizable slices, shine at you invitingly, perfectly complimenting a wide variety of juicy maki rolls and golden brown tempura. Before you can even reach for one with your chopsticks two bowls of steaming ramen are brought to the table. The thick, soft noodles float peacefully inside the broth, the clouds upon which rests a soft boiled egg accompanied with various greens and a few pieces of ham. The sight of the vibrant yolk lazily streaming down into the soup, let alone the scent of the whole meal, hypnotizes you. 

Ironically, it would be a shame to eat such an inviting meal. If it wasn't so delightful, that is. The room fills with quiet, but still enthusiastic clicking of chopsticks as both of you tear into portions. Sara glances at you hopefully from time to time, gauging your reactions. You make sure to nod appreciatively. It takes what feels like mere moments until, amongst comfortable silence, the soup is eaten. 

Wiping the remnants of it from your mouth with a tissue, you sigh with satisfaction. The dish was possibly the best thing for this weather, even if the air was so humid. But now that you've eaten, it was time to give Sara something special. 

“Thank you for your hospitality, Sara.” You say, reaching your hand inside your sleeve where you hid the gift. 

“Don't mention it, please. It's the least I can do to thank you for coming. I'm sure I've distracted you from important matters...” She drifts off when she notices the small, ornamental box in your hand. “What’s that?”

You chuckle. “It is for you, silly. It's your birthday. Surely you didn't expect me to come empty handed?”

“Oh! I…” Her hands move up, covering her mouth in surprise. “T-thank you. I hope the gift wasn't too much trouble…” 

She takes the gift from your outstretched hands and begins quickly unfastening the ribbons. When her fingers lift the lid, a set of jars is revealed. Curious, she picks one up and starts examining the label. 

Seeing her confusion, you chime in. 

“This is, um… that's coconut oil, for your wings. So they remain as pristine as ever.” 

Sara looks up at you, slightly wide eyed. Her silence speeds up your heart. Was this a bad idea? Does she already have some? Did you just offend her? 

You feel blood rushing to your cheeks. 

“I've talked to a scientist from Sumeru some time ago. He told me a lot about the birds of paradise in Sumeru and how they are taken care of in captivity”, you explain hastily. “To keep their wings shining and vibrant, their caretakers use coconut oil to lubricate the feathers. He said that it's better than sesame oil as it helps protect against illnesses and insects. So… I thought of you.” You wave your hands, smiling shyly. “You don't have to accept it if you don't like it though!”

As she listens to you, her mouth opens slightly as if she wants to speak, but closes without a word. She's speechless. 

You sigh as your smile fades. Just as you think of how to apologize, Sara speaks out. 

“This is incredible. I don't have the words to express how… How happy I am.”

Her voice is quiet and slightly trembling with emotion. The Tengu quickly looks back towards you, a small blush on her face. “Nobody has given me such a thoughtful gift before…”

A stone’s weight is taken off your heart as you see her flustered expression. A genuine smile of happiness and relief creeps onto your features. 

After a while of cordial thanks, you finally convince Sara that it wasn't too difficult to get, even if you had to import it from Sumeru. Having received this gift, Sara's mood was only improving as the evening went by, filled with idle chatter. You've shared stories of other generals, funny encounters you've had, as well as more genuine hopes for the future. 

The night came long ago, and it was time to go home. Sara, although clearly tired, insisted on walking you at least to the estate doors. But as you were walking through the garden, unbeknownst to you, Sara discreetly dismissed the maid following you. She quietly disappeared behind the nearest corner, leaving you two alone. 

You pull the door, opening one of its wings enough to slip through. Your turn to Sara. 

“Thanks for inviting me. They say you're stiff, but they don't know just how enjoyable hanging out with you really is.”

Sara shakes her head. “No, no, I’m the one that's more thankful here. I couldn't even begin to imagine what this day would look like without you. Had you not come, it would simply be another lonely evening.”

“Signing yourself off to the grave already, Sara?” You chuckle. “I hope next year's celebration is even better than this one.”

She snickers as well. “Impossible. Nothing will best today.”

“I surely hope not!” Your turn back towards the door. “See you tomorrow-”

“Wait!” Sara says hastily, grabbing your sleeve. You stop dead in your tracks. 

“Yes, Sara?”

“I know it might be inappropriate of me, seeing as you've given me so much already…” Her eyes shift between the pavement and you. “But, if I may have one more wish to ask of you.”

“Of course. It's your day, after all.” 

Silence. 

“So what would you like me to-”

She steps up and embraces you. You let out a surprised sigh, but quickly welcome her gesture. Her arms wrap around your torso as her face buries in the crook of your neck. 

“Thank you”, she whispers. “Thank you so much.”

Thanks for reading!

[smuthospital]

⭐️Pirate! Tomura x reader⭐️

Premise: A certain pirate really thinks you're pretty

Warning: NON CON, kidnapping, gn reader

MINORS DNI

"Now for the sponge cake!" You crack an egg and separate the yolks from the whites in two seperate bowls. You're making strawberry shortcake! You stop in your tracks when the sharp smell of smoke leaks into your airways. You drop everything you're doing and run to the bread oven. Your bread almost burned! Momo would kill you! You work at her little bakery and this bread was requested by a frequent customer. You sigh as you place the bread on a cooling rack and put out the fire in the hearth.

You live in a beautiful little port town by and it's what you call home. It's right by the sea so most men in town work at the docs, work at sea or sell goods. You just work in a little bakery. It's moderately popular. Everyone adores the pretty little bakery girl. You have countless old women asking you to marry their grandsons and countless men trying to pry into your life to win themselves a pretty wife to cook for them. You deny all marriage proposals because you're waiting for your true love to sweep you off your feet. And although your sweet little sea side town is everything to you, you hope to one day leave and explore the world. Your friends and family would be fine. You'd come back and show them all the nice things aquired on your travels.

You smell smoke again. That's odd. You could have sworn you turned the hearth off. Maybe a piece of bread fell onto the coals below the heat rack and now it's burning? You peak in the hearth you had just put out and see that it is Infact empty, but the smell of smoke remains. You then hear a scream from outside followed by people running around. You hear gun shots and the sound of distant laugter getting closer. You run outside to see a row of houses on fire, the fire spreading more and more. Momo amung the crowd, yanks you back into the bakery and roughly places a key in your hand. Her skin is as white as a sheet, her body drenched in sweat..and blood? "W-what happened to you? M-Momo? Wh-whats goin-"

"P-Pirates."

Your heart stops. This can't be. What would pirates what from your cute little town? "W-what? O-oh god." You cover your mouth as tears seep from your eyes, knowing this might be the end of your little happy town and maybe your life. Nothing will be the same by days end. "Listen, I need to get to my family. Stay here and hide in the back. Please be safe!" With that, Momo runs off. You waste no time hiding in the bakery, but not before locking the doors and turning off all the lights. You hide in the backroom and pray for a hero. You're covered in a cold sweat as you hear heavy footsteps outside the bakery. They seem to linger for a few moments around the display window. You hear them fade into the distance and sigh in relief.

A rock smashes through the bakery door glass and a hand shoves through the hole created to unlock the door from the inside. You begin to crawl to the back door as the person let's themselves in through the front. You hear the persons feet crunching the glass and the sound of them collecting your baked goods in a sack. You can image that baked bread and sweets are a delicacy to pirates.

You slowly open the back door and your breath is caught in your throat. "Ey captain, we got a live one!" A man wearing black shouts. From behind him, a tall, white haired man comes into view. He ducks his head under the door way as he enters. "Ah and a pretty one. I'm gonna have some fun with you, sweetie."

The cocky grin on his face tells you that he doesn't mean a board game. Fear like no other settles in your gut. He looks absolutely over joyed to see that expression on your face. Your eyes dart around for any escape. His frame covers the entire doorway.

The man smiles down at you wickedly. You try to run back into the bakery, but a pirate in dark clothing stands there, eating the bread you'd just baked. You feel a wall press into your from behind, two hands landing firmly on your shoulders. "Hey, pretty lady, no need to be frightened. We're customers. I'd like to have a cream puff. You got any of those?" The white haired pirate asked, his warm breath tickling the shell of your ear, his chest pressed against your back and...somthing else. "Huh?? No!? I-I can make some..just please..don't hurt me." You turn to him and hold your hands together.

Dread washes over you as you feel his eyes drag up and down your body with that same shit eating grin on his face. His eyes stop at your chest, your cleavage poking out from the top of your apron. You feel naked in his eyes. "No..I can help you make them...it's my specialty." He says right before he grabs at you. You let out a short scream as he picks you up by the waist and forces your body onto a counter, ass up and legs dangling over the edge. He pushes your dress up over your hips and marvels at the sight. He kneeds your ass like dough, your kicking and screaming only egging him on.

As he pulls down your underwear, you spot a wooden mallet you had been using earlier and grab it. He picks up your underwear and brings it to his nose, taking a deep inhale before pocketing it. You can feel his twitching erection poking your thigh. Before he can do anything else, you swing the mallet at his body with all your strength, managing get him in the side. You scramble off the counter and out the back door that he left open, narrowly missing his hand grabbing for your hair. "YOU FUCKING BITCH! I'LL GET YOU!" His words sends shivers like cold water down your spine, but only boost your adrenaline, further encouraging you to run even faster. He recovers from the hit almost immediately and bounds after you. You can hear him quickly catching up from behind you. You don't dare look back.

You feel all hope drain out of your body as a heavy hand land clamps around your wrist. He slams his body into yours, sending you tumbling onto the gravely path with him on top. Black spots cloud the corners of your eyes from the impact. He yanks you by the collar towards his face. You hear his shouting grow farther. He backhands you across the face, momentarily bringing you back to your senses before you succumb to sleep. "You're just a little cock tease. I'll show you how to treat a man." Are the last words you hear before passing out in the mans grip.

You hear the sound of waves, then heavy footsteps on wood. You slowly open your eyes to see that you're on a mattress in the corner of a small, dark, dust covered room. You have a massive headache that has you wanting to close your eyes again, but you do your best to resist. The only light source coming from a small round window. You whimper as you rub your hand on your face, trying to sooth your swollen cheek. You begin crying again. Your town..its gone and you're gonna die. It's like a dungeon in here. You quickly examine yourself just incase you were defiled in your sleep. Your dress is torn, revealing more of your chest and there's a vertical slit up your skirt that goes up to your hip. You shift a bit in your spot, uncomfortable. Your pussy feels..tampered with? The door swings open and you gasp. You scoot to the farthest corner of the bed. "I like that look on you..but you know, you shouldn't have hurt me earlier. That's no way to treat your captain. Now I have to discipline you. I'm captain shigaraki, but you can call me Tomura." He steps closer, taking off his coat and tossing it aside.

"No-no wait. You don't want me..I-Im no good..I...I'm on my period!" You struggle to come up with more excuses. He chuckles at this. "Sweetheart, I know that you're not. I had a taste earlier and even if you were, I'm a pirate. A little bloods never stopped me before." Your expression reflects your disgust. So he did do something to you. "You're a monster!" Your words only seem to make his smile bigger. He gets down and crawls into the bed infront of you like a lion inspecting it's prey. You scream as he grabs you by your ankle and drags you under him. He leans down, his white hair tickling your face, your foreheads almost touching. You feel his throbbing cock under his pants rub against your stomach, begging to be released. He grinds his hips back and fourth along your pelvis, making you feel every inch of what's going to be splitting you open real soon.

He drags his tongue from your neck to your cheek bone. "Feel that? All for you. every since I first laid eyes on you, I couldn't calm down. I've been meaning to get a little cabin wench and I think you'll do the job quite nicely. A pretty little thing to keep my cock warm while out at sea. I'm sure you'd like that." He bucks his hips once, a whimper leaving your mouth. "And you have your uses. You can cook and bake your sweet little bakery things for me and my men. We'll have someone watch you incase you think you can get away with using poison...and if you try...well... don't." His face is only a cm from yours. You can't recoil any further without breaking your neck.

"I'm gonna fuck your mouth first. Then I'm gonna pound your holes into dust. Make you all nice and full. I'm gonna fuck you until you bleed. That is if you're not a virgin. Make sure to beg for me to stop." His large hands grasp your dress and yank it off your body, making sure to keep it intact. Your wailing seems to add to his enjoyment. "You know, sweet heart, If I ripped up your pretty little dress, nothing would stop my men from raping all your holes bloody." One of his hands crawl towards your cunt and plays with your clit, his wide grin mocking you. Your face is completely red in shame. He surprises you when he suddenly shoves a finger into your unprepared cunt.

You hear the clinking of metal and see he's unbuckles his belt as you struggle. You try to push his hand away from your cunt with your free hand when he quickly pulls out away, instead replacing it with his heavy cock. Your breath catches in your throat as you look at the ginormous thing laying on your stomach.

"Y-you can't...be serious. That won't fit! You're gonna kill me!"

You grunt as you struggling with all your strength. "Get off of me! Get off!" You hear a crack and stop stop moving, confused. What was that sound? A fiery sting slowly spreads across your cheek. "Shut the fuck up, meat. I'm sick of your whining. Beg me to stop. Beg me for mercy. And say my name too?" He growls. "P-please, Tomura." He rubs the cheek he just smacked as a form of reward, rubbing away the tears with his thumb.

"That's a good girl..now get on your knees." You do as he says immediately, coming face to face with the monsters monster. To you, it's disgusting. A pirates down below area..who knows where it's been. The tip is already shiny with pre cum. It's thickness seems life threatening. You really don't want to put that stinky pirate prick in your mouth so you instinctively try to pull away and you kinda You like breathing. He anticipated this tangles his hand in your hair and presses your face into his groin, his cock pressing against your cheek and nose. You clench your eyes shut and whimper. You can feel his cock radiating heat. "Common. Show your new owner that you're sorry for hurting him." You don't open your mouth fast enough for his liking so he yanks your hair. The feeling is excruciating. You scream in pain he slides his cock in as soon as your mouth opens.

You immediately gag as it reaches the back of your throat, the taste making you try scrunch up your face. It's salty. It's not even all the way in yet and you're fighting for air. He laughs as you panic. "Never given head? Dont worry, I'll teach ya. Start by sucking. No teeth." You do as he instructs, closing your lips around his shift and suctioning as hard as you can. He lets out a deep, gutteral groan and thrusts his hips back and fourth. "Oh fuck. You're a natural."

He continues thrusting, his cock sliding in and out with ease, now coated with your saliva. Pre cum and saliva leaks from the corners of your mouth and down your chin and onto your awaiting tits. Your breathing has adjusted to his rythim a bit now. His pace quickens and you try to pull away harder than before, not wanting his nasty children in your mouth. He presses his hips to your lips and grunts, his pubic hair smuthered against your nose and mouth. Your mouth burns as hot, thick lava like cum pours down your throat and out your mouth. It's all coming so fast that you can't swollow fast enough to breath. You have a hard time taking it all, some of it spills from your nose. He slowly pulls out with a sigh, his hand still firmy clasping your hair. Your mouth hangs open for a few moments. You think it's over, but his cock is just as hard as it was before he assaulted you. You think you're constant whimpering is doing something for him.

He shoves you on your stomach and lifts your hips up. You try to lift yourself on your elbows, but he shoves your face into the mattress. "Stay down."

His cock prods your entrance. He tries to shove in, but you're too tight and he's too big, causing it to just slip onto your clit. You can still feel the heat coming from it, burning your skin with every contact. He grumbles in frustration when you try to move away. He lifts his heavy hand and smacks your ass. His cock prods your entrance again. "I'm warning you." Your whimpers get louder and more desperate as he slowly stuffs the head of his cock into your cunt. You're in too much pain to think properly. The head pops in and you scream. "Ah. Finally. You're cunt is like a fucking boa. Got me in a chokehold. I might get stuck." He groans out. All you can do is cry, unable to respond without sounding like a blubbering mess. He leans over your back, caging your body with his.

"This might hurt, sweety so just brace yourself." His warning would have been comforting if you couldn't tell how excited he is to hurt you. He shoves the rest of his cock into your cunt, you muffle a cry into the mattress. He presses his hips to yours, rolling in a few circles to rub it in. He licks his lips. "Yeah. Keep crying." He thrusts in and out of your hot cunt. You can hear the wet sounds of your blood and your body desperately trying to create some sort of lubricant. "Hah...maybe I'll put a baby in you. Have you be my exclusive bitch."

"P-please. I'll do anything, Tomura..no...please-" he cuts you off with a loud moan. "You look so fucking pretty like this. Cry more!" He slams his hips into your ass, forcing your spine into an uncomfortable position. Your eyes cross and you you gasp in pain. He snacks your ass again, harder than the first time. You sob loudly, feeling like you're gonna die. You feel his arm reach under you and trail his hand from between your breasts, down your mid section and then down to your tummy. He feels his cock bulge our from you slightly each time he bottoms out. He pushes down on the lump. You whimper, the feeling an indescribable amount of pleasure. You can't help but tighten around his cock even more.

You hate it, but it feels so good. You can't help yourself. Your cunt squeezes his cock as he speeds up, his pace battering your womb without a care, just as a pirate does. You try to crawl away one last time, he puts all his weight on your back and slams his hips harder than ever before, sending ripples down your body. He snacks your ass twice in a row. You're sure his strikes are to leave welts and bruises. You feel a hot gush as his cum flows into you. Your eyes cross, the feeling too pleasurable to bare. You release your juices around his cock and his face comforts in pleasure. "Ah fuck!" Your tummy bloats slightly, and cum spurts out from around where his cock is buried deep inside you. He thrusts gently, riding out his orgasm. He leans over your shoulder to whisper in your ear.

"You're gonna be my little wife now. No complain'in. You cook, you bake, you clean, you sit on my cock and when it's time, bare my children." You can't believe the direction your life took. This morning, you were happy in your little bakery, now you're a pirates concubine or something. He slowly pulls out with a lewd 'pop' sound and rolls you over to face him. He almost tenderly kisses you o the lips. "I enjoyed this raids bounty today. I found a beautiful treasure." His lays himself next to you, hugging you closer to his body.

With that, you couldn't stay awake any longer. Your lower half is completely numb. You have no feeling in your ass and you sure sitting will not be an option for awhile. Maybe one day you'll come to enjoy being a pirates love.

Maybe you'll get used to this. Maybe if you behave.

[that-student-that-has-homework]

You WILL Have my Herbs 01

Diluc / Reader

Previous Chapters: Chp 1 | Chp 2 | Chp 3 | Chp 4 | Chp 5 | Chp 6

Read the Full Story on Ao3 | Tumblr MasterList Here (Maybe even leave me a comment please? :3< )

Summary: Listen you just wanted to pick some plants, do some experiments, find some cures, and report back to your mentor. Unfortunately a handsome vigilante puts you in his debt and now you have to fight him to let you make it up to him.

Chapter 1: A Fierce Shade of Red

When you’d first left your homeland to travel the land to further your knowledge as an apothecary, your family had warned you to be careful. Your mother had been vocally concerned, listing out many demands: write home regularly, do not stay out after dark for long, do not stray into uninhabited areas, among other things as well as a reluctance to even let you go.

Your father had been less vocal: a simple take care and watch out, but his demeanour gave away his concern that was typical for a parent.

Yes, they had warned you; and like many a child you had waved away their concerns as the ramblings of loving parents. Hence you’d heeded few of the suggestions and ignored many, as many of the herbs and flora you were interested in were in uninhabited forests. Which was how you found yourself in your current predicament.

You were on the outskirts of Mondstadt, which was absolutely an inhabited area, however you were outside the city walls. You’d been foraging some of the local flora, flitting from one clump of dandelions to another, and had been pushing off heading back into the city. Just let me grab this last thing, was what you’d thought to yourself for the last potentially hundred things you’d picked.

However there were not many people and you were well outside the knights’ view cone, which was probably why you were running into this fuzzy and ominous creature. Had it not had the air of something that could definitely kill you, you’d have found the creature rather cute: a beak-like mask, two bunny ears, a cute cloak, not to mention its fluffy… mane? hood? head-covering?

It let out an amused chuckle with its shrill voice and you were certain that your blood going cold was not because of the shield of ice it had summoned, but rather a physiological mechanism kicking in to redirect all your energies towards fleeing.

However you remained rooted, staring at this foreign specimen, wondering if you could potentially communicate with it. In your time in Mondstadt, you had heard rumors of a researcher who attempted negotiation with hilichurls after all. Perhaps you could take a page out of their book.

“H-hello!” Was your shaky start. “How do you do?”

The creature seemed to regard you from behind its shield, floating in a lackadaisical manner - that sure seemed fun and dandy. It was silent a while: either it didn’t understand you or this was the calm before the storm.

When it let out another ominous giggle that seemed to reverb and echo on its own, you feared it was the latter. Now would be a good time to run for your life you figured. And when that bunny eared menace waved its staff about you bolted.

You somehow managed to dodge the ice chunks that went flying your way. They were sharp and you feared a hit from one would be lethal. You could hear your things jostle around in your pack-damn that creature! All your precious herbs would likely be damaged from this! Caught up in your concern over the time you could potentially be losing thanks to your negligence you barely noticed the frost twinkling in the moonlight before the menace appeared before you, knocking you clean off your feet and, thankfully, onto your side (which meant less damage for your herbs).

Though you might not even live to use them. Given the absolutely unadorable creature seemed delighted to end you. 

You know what? You would live to use them! 

Somehow.

You’d barely stood up when the shield in front of you shattered, the monster at its yolk faceplanting into the grass. You’d barely blinked before flames consumed the creature whole, disintegrating it into black ashes that fluttered in the wind. A glint of metal caught your eye then, your brain vaguely registered a large sword before it also seemed to disintegrate.

You had no more than a moment to make out the overall shape of your savior: and all you really made out was a fierce shade of red so brilliant it seemed to blaze through the shadows of the night, before they were bolting away from you.

Ah! Say thank you! Before they’re out of earshot! “THANK YOU!” You felt your face heat up with embarrassment at both your volume and the way your voice cracked trying to achieve it.

You had no idea if they’d heard you, but hey you’d tried at least right? Plus points for effort and all that? You took a deep breath before noting some ley sprouts on the ground where the vanquished monster had fallen. You let out a huff of contempt before picking up the white twigs. That creature owed you as much with what it had put you through.

You didn’t bother putting them into your pack as you hurried into the city from the side entrance. You would not risk another one of those attacks.

Upon entering the city you kept your eyes peeled for any traces of your savior, but all you could make out were the off-key songs of drunks bumbling through the streets. You rolled your eyes at the inebriated fools as you hurried past a tavern.

-_-

Listen, you want to pretend that life continued on all good and dandy, however…

Well…the reality was that you’d been in a situation that put your life at risk, and that was a first for you. Had it not been for that person with bright hair, you’d likely be in a much more dire situation. Or dead.

Or dead.

Should you write your will?

You ought to rejoice that you hadn’t died, rather than panic about what would-have or could-have happened. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t come across monsters before, however that specific creature-you could still hear it’s ominous chuckles. You shivered violently at the memory, pulling the inn bedding tightly around you.

Sadly the attack had messed with you more than you wanted it to, thus you spent your day indoors. You tried to find solace by sorting through the herbs you’d nearly died over. You were pleased to find they were mostly okay, despite all your jostling last night.

Eventually you did have to leave the room to get food. Oh, if only you could photosynthesize as these herbs did, you would not have to venture into the dangerous city. Woe is you.

Jokes aside, the reality was a good meal would likely help stabilize you. Also some friendly company. Yes, company, another human or learned creature, that would not attack you, to help draw you out of your mental cave and into the light.

That was how you came into the company of Sir Kaeya. 

You headed to the local eatery, a humble establishment by the name of Good Hunter. You’d only just arrived when the strong scents of cooking made your stomach churn, your appetite immediately clamping up. It wasn’t that it smelled bad , no! Not at all! However your appetite had barely existed as the imposing anxiety worked your stomach into knots, and now faced with food, well…safe to say you were very tightly wound.

But!

You knew you needed to eat. Besides, the key to unlocking your appetite was a single bite right? So you just had to get through that first bite... 

…Somehow…

The chef there, Sara was her name-very sweet lady bless her, was very patient with you not knowing what to order. You’d sheepishly apologized for simply standing there reading the menu very slowly and considering your options, and she’d smiled and said to take your time as there was no rush.

However when you detected the presence of another customer behind you, you first flinched, reactively turned around to observe the sudden threat, before finally stepping to the side to allow them to order. That reaction was… suspicious to say the least. Most likely an observable effect of what had transpired last night. 

You heaved a heavy sigh, you’d be better off remaining in the city until you recalibrated yourself. You were in no state to immediately set out into the wilderness currently. But did you have enough funds to continue staying in the city?

“Need help making up your mind?” You jumped at the smooth voice that slashed through your thoughts.

You had a hand over your chest as you scrambled to regain your mental footing and maintain your breathing. You stiffened entirely when you heard a chuckle, “jumpy aren’t you? You wouldn’t be up to no good now, would you?”

That was when you managed to turn to look at the owner of the voice.

You instantly regret it. Or no you didn’t? But you did. You’re not sure. You know what? You should have just stayed at that inn and starved.

Standing before you was a man, a handsome man, a gorgeous man, a man intricately sculpted by a- focus

You hadn’t even had time to properly appreciate the complex texture of his lovely voice, however taking in his beauty? You were frozen under the avalanche of garbled half-thoughts.

He’sspicious of you. An eyepatch? Could he stop sneaking up on people? Isn’t he too close-no you’re imagining, You still haven’t ordered, You want to go home-no you don’t there’s still much to d- are you staring?

You took a deep breath. It’s fine. You were fine. You were perfectly innocent. You had nothing to hide.

Clearing your throat you answered in as calm a manner as you could, “w-why would you assume the worst of a person?” 

Bad response.

“One could say that your assumption reflects that you’re the one who is ‘up to no good.’”

Okay that response was better.

You could barely keep your eyes on his person, so you almost missed the way his visible eye crinkled in amusement. “Well why else would a young lady-a foreigner might I add-such as yourself, be so jumpy while trying to order from the gentle Sara of Good Hunter?”

You had to give it to him, it was a fair point. “Perhaps…perhaps I have a form of social anxiety!” You tried before continuing. “Or…or uhm as-as you said, these lands and this city are foreign to me, hence…I have a heightened alertness to my surroundings.”

“Oho?” His smirk deepened, his eyes narrowing in amusement. “Seems we have a clever one on our hands.”

You were displeased with that statement, and it showed on your face. You could feel it. That, and the obviously handsome man before you’s heightened amusement confirmed that your disapproval was clearly written on your face.

“Sir Kaeya stop intimidating the tourists in front of my restaurant! You’ll drive away business!” The cook scolded from behind the counter. 

The man laughed then, and it was an unfortunately pretty sound, “why nothing could ever possibly ruin the flavor of your cooking dear Sara.”

Wait… Sir Kaeya?

“You’re a knight?” Your expression neutralized into innocent curiosity.

“Ah yes, my apologies, allow me to introduce myself,” he turned back to you, standing at attention, “Kaeya, Knight of Favonius, on behalf of all the Knights, I wish you a pleasant stay here in Mondstadt.”

That was when you introduced yourself in return, giving your name and, “I’m an apothecary here to expand and further my knowledge, please let me know if I can be of assistance, I’d be happy to help.”

“Pray tell if that’s all you’re here for then why are you so jittery?”

He was a knight, so it would probably be wise to inform him of the creature that attacked you, so you did.

“I was attacked by a strange creature last night and only barely made it out alive,” You began.

That seemed to intrigue the man as his amused expression fell off his face, “strange creature you say?”

“Yes,” you huffed, “at first I thought it rather cute, what with its bunny ears and beaked mask and small stature and fuzzy mane,” you frowned, “however it was absolutely unadorable! Nothing cute about it! A malicious beast!”

“Say, did this creature happen to have an elemental shield around it?”

“Yes, one infused with cryo, in fact,” you confirmed, “is this creature familiar to you?”

“Where did you run into this creature?” 

“A little ways away from the,” you paused, turning your head in the general direction of the gate you remember re-entering from, then to the main gate, ”eastern? side? entrance to the city.”

That answer seemed to displease him, his pretty features pinching further, before his suspicious gaze fell on you again. 

When were you going to be free of his suspicion?

“How did you escape it?”

“I was rescued.”

“By whom?”

“I wish I knew, they ran off as soon as the creature perished.”

The knight paused humming in contemplation. Before he turned to look at you with an amusement that had chills clambering up your spine.

“You wouldn’t happen to remember anything about this savior of yours?”

“They used pyro?” You answered dumbly.

“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow at you, thoroughly entertained. “A pyro vision, most interesting.”

“Do you know them?” You asked eagerly.

“Fell in love, did you?”

You furrowed your brow, “ no ,” was your immediate response, “but I owe them proper thanks.”

“That all?”

“You still haven’t answered my question Sir Kaeya,” you eyed the man suspiciously. Hah-ha! It was your turn to be suspicious!

He let out a laugh then shrugged, “Mondstadt has quite the population, with multiple pyro users, it could be any one of them.”

He, once again, had a point. However there was something…

Your stomach grumbled before you could fully process that thought. His smirk was a lazy grin then, as he turned to Sara and added a vegetable soup to his order. 

“Won’t you dine with me?” He gave you a jovial smile.

He was handsome enough to fluster you, but you managed “But I haven’t ordered yet?”

“Well I’ve ordered you a vegetable soup for starters,” he gestured towards an empty table, “it’s gentle on the stomach and ought to ease you into eating a proper meal.”

“Oh,” you stared at your former interrogator, “thank you,” you paused, “I appreciate the gesture, however I cannot accept it, I’ll buy it myself.”

He let out a little chuckle at that, and flashed you his teeth, “very astute,” he nodded at you, seemingly pleased.

You paused and watched him for a moment - was he? Your nostrils flared with the air you puffed out of them. Thisy was a knight? “Well as you said, you have a clever one on your hands,” you rolled your eyes as you plopped yourself down in your seat unceremoniously.

Your disgruntlement seemed to amuse the knight further, as he gracefully took his seat. You tried to ignore the obvious way in which he was observing you. You had nothing to hide, but being observed with such intensity was still unnerving. It didn’t help that you hadn’t ever really been in a situation like this before. Most of the time your meals were had either alone, or in groups, or with men related to you. Never, never had a man invited you to dine with him.

Especially not one that looked like or spoke like Sir Kaeya.

Okay, so, you might know a few people who spoke like Sir Kaeya. But they didn’t possess nearly as much charm nor charisma nor…hmm…cunning? Perhaps? They didn’t seem as sharp as he did. And they definitely didn’t look as good.

You turned to stare blankly at the fountain to your right, your brain momentarily noting the man standing in it curiously, before your thoughts returned their previous train. Hadn’t Sir Kaeya invited you to dine with him as a pretense to continue his interrogation? Why hadn’t he asked you anything else?

You made the poor decision of glancing in his direction, making eye contact with the midnight haired man. You immediately looked away. Naturally.

Well if he didn’t have any questions, you sure did. You swallowed and turned back to face him, “Sir Kaeya, may I ask a question?”

He raised an eyebrow, and tilted his head, “go ahead.”

“That creature I ran into, are you familiar with it?” You suppressed a shudder at the memory - he noticed, probably, you didn’t do a good job of that if you were honest.

His expression was neutral as he regarded you, “yes,” he nodded, “that monster is known as an Abyss Mage.”

“I see.”

“There are different types that can use different elements,” he voluntarily supplied, to your surprise, “so you ought to be careful if you are adventuring.”

“Is there no way to negotiate with them?” You pressed.

“Perhaps there is,” Kaeya gestured languidly with an upturned palm leaning back in his seat, “they understand our language after all.”

“I see,” you thought back to the experience, “it just tried to kill me though, without talking to me.”

He laughed and sat up then, amusement twinkling in his eyes, “you attempted to negotiate with it?”

You started, indignated by his seeming-mockery. “I heard there’s a scholar in Mondstadt that is attempting to communicate with hilichurls, I thought perhaps I could attempt communication with that Abyss Mage!”

He laughed some more, obviously being entertained by you, much to your displeasure. However you weren’t sure how to voice your displeasure and settled for disengaged silence. It wasn't long after that when Sara placed your meals in front of you.

“The Fisherman’s Toast is on the house,” she smiled at you, “I couldn’t help but overhear what happened, and I don’t want you to feel unsafe every time you remember Mondstadt.”

You stared at the kind chef, who in the setting sunlight seemed to glow in an ethereal manner (or perhaps you were delirious after your nerves had been fried and not eating for the whole day). You opened and closed you mouth before your brain came back to you, “oh no I couldn’t possibly-”

“It’s fine, all I ask for in return is that you become a customer of mine!” She beamed at you.

“No but-” you tried, however…

“No buts! Once you’ve got an appetite, order something proper!” The cook grinned as she walked back to her stall.

You just stared after her, trying to figure out how to overcome this, you’d just denied Kaeya after all so you ought to-

“Why not just accept Sara’s hospitality?” The knight said as he took a bite of one of the skewers on his plate.

“No. But! Payment! Payment is due for services so that the business can continue,” you stammered out, “isn’t it because she provides such a kind service that I ought to pay her more?”

“Oh? Then why not just provide a generous tip to show your appreciation?”

You smiled at that, genuinely, “that’s a good idea, thank you!”

He chuckled as you slowly began to consume the soup, taking your time as you carefully listened to-well it was more like observed-the signals your stomach would send you. You’d had to sit back after forcing yourself through the first few spoonfuls.

Kaeya had raised an inquisitive brow when he observed you lean back in your seat, rather continue to eat. Out of habit-a bad habit, your mother would say-you preemptively provided him with an explanation: “I’m waiting for my stomach-appetite-uh…yeah.”

He nodded in understanding. You found waiting boring however, and you decided it was your turn to blatantly observe the man and see how much he liked being dissected. That didn’t last too long however; aside from being totally relaxed, a flicker of recognition passed over his face. That was curious, so you turned in your seat to look in the same direction as he was, your eyes flickered to the main gates, but didn’t see anything of note. What was he looking at?

When you turned back around he had a wry smile on his face. You heaved a sigh and slowly sipped a spoonful of soup. Of course, he’d used your observing him to his advantage. 

You found you could handle eating at a normal pace, and began to consistently go through your soup, pausing to nibble on the Fisherman’s Toast every once in a while.

“Sir Kaeya,” at the sound of his name he turned to you, at this point he’d finished eating his skewers and was simply keeping you company-which you appreciated if you were being honest, “I am looking into studying local herbs, and by extension herbal remedies, among other things to see if I can advance my knowledge.”

He regarded you as you tried to string your words together into a coherent inquiry, “so I was wondering if there were any resources here? Books? Medical professionals?”

He leaned back, gesturing behind him vaguely, “we have a library at the Knights of Favonius Headquarters,” his lip quirked up when you perked up noticeably, “I could escort you there.”

“I’d appreciate that greatly!” You smiled. “Thank you!”

“Of course,” he smiled easily, “you could also have a chat with Deaconess Barbara at the church as well. She’d be more than happy to discuss herbal remedies with you.”

You thanked the man again.

There was little drama when it came to paying for your meals. Little, because Kaeya did attempt to place you in his debt, however he failed. What he didn’t fail to do though was ruffle your feathers. The tall man looked plenty pleased with himself as he finally backed down. Sara also looked rather amused as well, and was absolutely beaming when you mentioned you’d be coming back to pick up food from her once you were done with the library. She was less amused when she realized how large your tip was though, but you’d made sure to put enough distance between you and her that she couldn’t return it.

With Sir Kaeya as your guide, you felt more at ease, taking in the sights of Mondstadt proper. It was a rather lovely city, with ivy growing on some of the buildings and- was that a crafting table?! Oh and it looked like there was an alchemist there too! You’d definitely be talking to him when you got the chance!

-_-

“This here is Miss Lisa, our librarian, feel free to ask her for help in the library,” Kaeya spoke as he placed a hand on your back and pushed you towards a lady dressed in rich purple garb.

“Kaeya, it’s past working hours,” said librarian complained as she looked up from the book she’d been reading. Upon spotting you, her eyes twinkled with something that resembled amusement, “oh? Who’s this cutie you’ve brought me?”

“A foreign apothecary looking to do some research on Mondstadt herbal remedies and medicine,” Kaeya grinned.

“Oh is that so?” She carefully closed her book and moved to stand up. “Right this way then.”

“Oh no! I wouldn’t want to be a bother, if you’re already closed-”

“We’re closed for Kaeya , the library is still open for you,” she chuckled, eyes crinkling, “you’re just going to have to be quick about it though cutie.”

The blue haired knight dismissed himself then, leaving with a huff and a, “make sure you return your books on time Miss Apothecary.”

With Kaeya’s familiar presence gone, you found your nerves renewed themselves. Especially in the presence of someone as regal and elegant as the librarian before you, and with a non-specific time limit. Nevertheless, Miss Lisa was really friendly, and very helpful. You quickly grabbed any books that seemed useful and hurried out so as to not keep her too long. 

It was completely dark now in Mondstadt, with the way the city was lit up, you’d think it was pretty. Y’know…if you hadn’t been attacked just outside it the other day. Either way, you hurried to Sara, talked to her a bit about what you felt like having, her giving you recommendations, and then you leaving with dinner and dessert.

-_-

You spent the next few weeks within the safe, homey walls of Mondstat proper. You’d slowly worked yourself outside of your room in the inn, and had become a relatively common sight in the Knights of Favonius library. When you weren’t in the library you could often be found at the Church of Favonius trying to talk to sister Barbara. Trying, because she was very popular. You’d considered leaving her be, you didn’t want to be a bother; however according to another sister there - Victoria was it?- Barbara seemed to be very happy to talk to you, which was why you persisted.

Barbara was too sweet for her own good, and very pleasantly odd. Her Chili drink was interesting, to say the least. The bright red of the drink reminded you of your savior, however you’d barely begin to formulate your inquiry when some member of her extensive fanclub would pop up, which usually led to a train of fans following. You’d tried waiting at a distance the first time, but realized it was a jolly waste of time and from then on made yourself scarce when her fanclub popped up.

Unless it was Albert. He was overly enthusiastic to the point of uncomfortable clinginess. You ought to brew up a laxative or something so that he’d be kept busy on his toilet at home, away from Barbara.

You were becoming increasingly acquainted with many different residents as a result of your stay. You talked to Sara about different ways to get the flavor out of different herbs and spices, as well as the commonly used local herbs-oh and if she knew about any of their benefits as well. She also gave you a couple of recipes after you and she would experiment with ideas together.

You were also becoming a regular for Miss Lisa’s tea time. It started with you picking up some snacks for her from Good Hunter and her offering you a cup of tea in return, and had progressed-actually no, it was still very much the same. If you were in the library during her tea time she’d send you out to get her snacks and then have tea with you. The only real difference was that you two talked more now. Well that and sometimes Lisa would manage to successfully rope the Acting Grandmaster into attending, which was how you met the fair Jean.

After meeting Jean, you started venturing out of Mondstadt a little, so as to collect some herbs to help brew something for the tired lady. Teas to help improve the quality of her sleep, others to boost her immune system, others to energize her or neutralize headaches.

You spent as little time as possible with the lady though. You didn’t want to get in the way of her work. Of course in doing so, you often forgot to ask her if she knew of a red-haired Pyro user. 

Oh you’d managed to ask Miss Lisa! Kind of. Not really… she had immediately become a bit of a gossip wondering if perhaps these could be the beginnings of a love story. You decided then not to ask her and leave it be.

Your constant presence in the knight’s headquarters (in the library) resulted in you also becoming more acquainted with Sir Kaeya. Turns out he was the cavalry captain . That explained why he seemed much more reliable than all the other knights you’d seen. It also explained his unnerving ability to draw information out of people.

He also had a penchant for drinking alcohol. Jean often commended him, and in the hopes of helping reduce her stress, you began digging through your research and books in hopes of finding ways to reduce or neutralize the damage the man did to his liver.

Most, if not all, the research generally suggested quitting and allowing your body to heal. These results were less than ideal to the blue haired captain.

You also had the pleasure of meeting the young “Spark Knight” Klee. Talking to her was hilariously more enlightening than talking to Timaeus the local alchemist. The little girl produced bombs that were highly effective against cryo. 

She was a generous little soul and when you promised not to use any of her bombs for evil she gave you a few, well, twelve if you’re to be exact. She made you promise to never ever ever hurt anyone with them or Jean would be mad. So you promised to never ever ever use them for anything that would hurt people. Armed with these deceptively cute little bombs, you felt much safer indeed. 

Of course she only gave them to you after you’d spent a whole week or so running around with her. You had wasted no time in providing her with a little notebook about helpful medical wildlife and how to use it. In fact that’s how the two of you kept busy. Of course you also went fish blasting in the lake, but you spent a lot of time foraging and at some point she explained a bit about how her bombs worked. It was fun overall, especially given that during the course of your time  together you’d added more notes as you learned more about Monstadt’s native flora. 

Anyway with these bombs you’d be ready to face those darned Abyss Mages if they ever showed their beaky faces-er masks? ever again! Or so you thought…

Or so you thought…

Yes. After finally overcoming your fears, and venturing out into the wilderness of Mondstadt to begin your field research: foraging and testing different combinations of herbs, you found yourself in yet another dangerous situation.

Isn’t that just lovely

Sir Kaeya had mentioned that different Abyss Mages used different elements. But he neglected to mention which elements. As it turns out, Pyro Abyss Mages existed. 

Isn’t that just great ? 

Perhaps that was just a given that Pyro Abyss Mages existed? After all, if a Cryo Mage exists it stands to reason that a Hydro Mage exists, or an Electro Mage, or even: a Pyro Mage. 

Yeah…

Yepp. It was totally a given that Pyro Abyss Mages existed. Just- urgh

Yet again, your attempt at negotiations had failed. They’d broken down before you’d even managed to start them.

All you wanted was to forage some weeds, make some medicine, and test them out. You didn’t pose a threat to these things-in fact you made sure to steer clear of them! You always made sure to avoid them. You still hadn’t used a single bomb that Klee had given you!

Yet here you were running for your life, again , and jostling your herbs in your pack again . To make matters even better , you had gotten knocked off your feet by a wild boar. A boar ! Of all things! And now, here you were, on your bum trying to figure out how to escape this mage that could set this whole woodland aflame and you with it.

“I’m clearly running away from you,” you mustered all your frustration to turn it into some kind of courage, “I ob-obviously mean you n-no harm!”

Sir Kaeya said they understood your language. That meant you could convince it to spare you peacefully right? When it let out a gleeful laugh and started dancing around behind its pyro shield you weren’t so sure anymore. Maybe they didn’t really understand you. Maybe that was just a theory.

Your lips pulled into a sardonic smile despite yourself.

Gosh wouldn’t it be so convenient if you had the ability to defend yourself in this situation?

In the moment you looked away to plan your escape you heard a blood curdling shriek. Turning back to the Abyss Mage you saw a thick, thorny, vine had torn through its shield, and then through the mage itself. You watched the creature disintegrate, dropping ley branches yet again.

You looked around, trying to spot who or what had killed the menace. All you saw were trees though. Just trees and bushes and more trees. You let out a quiet exhale, fearful another threat was nearby. When you inhaled again you learned how much the boar hurtling into you had affected you. 

It hurt to breathe.

Ah an injury to your chest. Excellent. Just what you needed while this far out from Mondstadt.

At least you were alive, you supposed. You pushed yourself up into a sitting position slowly, and that was when something seemingly slipped down your chest into your lap. Hold on-

Could it be?

You picked up the little green orb, pulling it up to your face to observe it. It had a dendro mark, and it was placed within a metallic frame resembling the one you often saw encasing visions back in your homeland.

Was that what this was? You turned it over in disbelief, brows furrowing. Was this yours

Wow…You had a vision now. You had… a vision…

You blinked twice. 

You had a vision? 

Again, you blinked at the sphere in confusion. Or was it disbelief? Truthfully you should have probably have been more excited. After all, you had a friend back home who made it very clear just how visionless you were before. Real insensitive sometimes, that guy.Anyway! This was a momentous event and not that many people got to experience it. However with all that had happened to you that day, you had to say your nerves were likely fried. All you really could think about was how tired you were beginning to feel, and how essential it was for you to find shelter as quickly as possible.

So you stood up and waded your way through the wood. Not too long after though, the clouds decided that now would be a perfectly good time to irrigate the land. Reminding you that finding shelter as quickly as possible would be an excellent idea. 

Yes, yes, find shelter as quickly as possible. What a nice goal to have. It was made easier by the sudden downpour. You would have preferred this downpour to have been present earlier when you were at the mercy of that Pyro Mage, but no matter. It was thanks to the harrowing ordeal that you now had a vision in your possession. 

You were thankful for the abundance of trees in your vicinity, and wasted little time running under one. You didn’t want your pack to get soaked after all. It was mostly water resistant, being leather and all, but still better safe than sorry?

Oh yeah, and it would be really inconvenient to get a cold now.

With that thought in mind, you dug through the pack in search of your umbrella. You’d read in some adventurer’s handbook that umbrellas were absolutely essential, and had purchased one for your travels. You didn’t find it inside your pack. That made sense! You usually had it attached to one of the straps on the sides-

Oh. 

There it was!

All burnt…

and charred…

But hey maybe it was still useful!

You forced it open. It had been severely, let’s say dent , during your, uh scuffle with that Abyss Mage. There were also massive gaping holes in the canopy.

You hadn’t even gotten your mora’s worth out of it yet!

You swallowed thickly, all the moisture in your throat evaporating with the heat of your emotions. Your next swallow was even more laborious, and breathing? Near excruciatingly painful. Thick, hot, salty blobs mixed in with the rain on your face as your emotions caught up with you. It was truly frustrating.

You hated that Abyss Mage. Your frustration possessed your arm,  aggressively slamming the umbrella into the ground. Wasn’t it great that you’d been the one to end that thing’s miserable existence?

You shuddered at the thought, bile rising up your throat. You were quick to force it back down. Your waterskin was unaffected from earlier, thankfully, and you guzzled your emotions down. Looking into the distance you saw a rather large building, its windows alight. Seems like that would have to be your shelter until the rain let up.

Well it was a rather large building, so perhaps it was an inn? It had a really nice garden surrounding it-no wait, just in front of it-as well. Though its location was rather strange: situated in what seemed to be the middle of the forest, with no other buildings nearby. 

Maybe it wasn’t an inn.

Maybe, maybe you should steer clear of this building. For all you knew, you were safer out here, under this tree. A cold gust swept through the forest, blowing some of the rain onto you.

Or perhaps you should take a risk and see if the residents don’t murder you.

Realistically speaking, if you did get sick, there was a chance of surviving and continuing to live. However, if you were to be murdered by the residents of that building over there, well…safe to say you would not continue to live.

Another gust of wind blew over the land, taking with it your already dwindling body heat. You shook away your thoughts. It wouldn’t do to assume the worst of people. Besides, you still had your Klee-bombs! Luckily they were waterproof! That’s what Klee had told you. Meaning even if they did get wet from you walking around in this rain, they’d still be useful.

Factoring that into your decision, it would be wisest to try your luck with that perhaps-inn. That way you could avoid getting sick at least. You were prepared for the worst…in a sense. You were just paranoid at this point. Risking death twice would do that to a person, you supposed.  

You picked up your destroyed umbrella from the ground - you knew better than to litter! Then taking a deep, albeit painful breath you sprinted (kind of) from under the cover of your tree to another one nearby.

Thus you continued your trek towards the maybe-inn, moving from tree to tree, to limit your exposure to the rain. Though in the last leg of your trek you were left without cover. You stood under the eave of the building, hesitating only a moment before you steeled your nerves and knocked on the door.

You waited a bit, but received no response. You chewed on your tongue a bit as another gust of wind blew against you. Your teeth were starting to chatter, and with a little more desperation you knocked on the door again.

This time the door swung open revealing a rather gentle looking young brunette. You blinked awkwardly at her - you hadn’t thought about what you were going to say.

“Uhm..” you started, your smile nothing short of sheepish.

“Oh dear, you must be freezing,” she spoke, reaching out and pulling you into the warm building, “here sit by the fire and I’ll fetch you some tea.”

“Oh, um, thank you,” you blinked, as she pushed you into a seat by the hearth.

You could hear her call for a towel and blanket before she zipped over to what you assumed was the kitchen. You simply sat in silence enjoying the warmth of the hearth. Well, as much as you could enjoy it. You fidgeted with your feet, bouncing your legs a bit, both from the cold and from the awkwardness. 

You made sure to properly thank the lady that brought you the towel and blanket and apologize for the inconvenience. She quickly dismissed your concerns and walked away to continue with whatever she’d been busy with prior to your arrival. That was when you noticed the uniform: a maid.

So perhaps this was an inn?

Thankfully the lady that let you in returned with a steaming mug of tea just in time for you to inquire after the nature of the place you were in, after you made sure to thank her for her hospitality, you had manners after all.

“Is this an inn?” You asked her as you hugged the mug she’d offered you close to your chest. The warmth seeped through your clothes and eased some of the soreness you felt after being run over earlier.

“Not at all,” she had an amused look on her face as she answered, “you’re currently at the Dawn Winery.”

“Oh,” you felt your eyes widen in surprise, “uhm, I’ll be going as soon as the rain lets up, I hope that won’t cause too much of an inconvenience,” your brain started working again, when you inhaled you tried not to let the pain show on your face, “or if I could purchase an umbrella from you all, I could get going right this instant.”

“Oh no no you’re no inconvenience at all,” the lady’s smile brightened, “I couldn’t possibly let you go back out into that storm in good conscience.”

“O-okay,” you shrunk on yourself, “I-I’m an apothecary, please let me know if you have any ailments and I’ll gladly help!”

She huffed a little laugh then, eyes twinkling with something borderline mischievous, “hmm, I’ll think I’ll take you up on that offer. Please don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything while you’re here.”

“T-thank you! Uhm Miss-”

“Adelinde.”

“Thank you Miss Adelinde,” you smiled, hoping your nerves didn’t show too clearly, before giving her your name in return.

She nodded at you in acknowledgement before walking away to continue with her own tasks. Left to your own devices, you slipped your shoes off to curl into the blanket. You wafted some of the steam from the tea, and upon confirming nothing smelled off, you took a sip.

Well, poison could be neutralized, all you could hope was that it wasn’t laced with something that would cause you to lose consciousness.

Could you stop with the negative thoughts?

You shifted the blanket around to re-expose the parts of your outfit that were wet from the rain to the fire. You bit down on your lip. Moving around still hurt - you absolutely would be returning to Mondstadt proper the moment this rain lets up. Though you needed your clothes to be dry for when you went back out into the wild. You took another sip of the tea, enjoying the way it warmed you up and continued to stare blankly at the fire.

Speaking of fire, with some difficulty you reached into your pack and pulled out your new treasure. Holding it in your palm you simply stared at it blankly. You would need to learn how to use it. Perhaps when you head back to Mondstadt you could ask Miss Lisa. She was rather knowledgeable after all.

You were deep in your head when the sound of the door busting open had you jumping. Whipping your head towards the source of the noise a rather fierce, rather familiar shade of red blazed at you.

The same red that had rescued you from your first encounter with an Abyss Mage all those weeks ago.

[lacrymatoryao3]

Redemption Was Just The Beginning

Chapter 9: January, 1900

[1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8]

To the world, Arthur Morgan is dead. As he tries to face the idea, in a lush valley in Ambarino he comes face to face with a woman from his past, and they must reckon with an era long gone. Especially when she has secrets of her own.

(Rated explicit simply because eventually there’s smut in this.)

Tag: @photo1030

3,075 Words (AO3 Link)

Arthur wasn’t sure what time it was, or much of anything for that matter, when Ana burst into his bedroom late in the night… Or was it early morning? Either way, the dawn had not yet broke and Arthur was jerked out of a deep sleep confused and disoriented.

“What, what?! What’s the matter?!” He shouted bewildered, reaching in a crazed manner for a weapon like his old instincts dictated.

Ana was hurriedly dressed, with a piece of paper with instructions scrawled hastily on still drying ink, “Owen was just here. Rosaline is in labor and I need to go over there. I don’t know how long I’ll be so I need you to take care of the house and Arthur Francisco. I wrote everything down… And please, use the stove this time when you cook anything. I already made lunch for him, it’s in the ice box.”

Arthur did hear pounding, but he had assumed it was something in his dream. He grunted rubbed his face, finally checking the clock on the end table. A quarter past 3 in the morning. Why did babies need to come when everyone was sleeping?

He saw her off, trying to shake the tiredness by standing on the cold porch until he couldn’t see her anymore. It seemed every man besides Mr. O’Hogan was doing the same thing, Mrs. Liang followed Ana not too soon after, then Mrs. Johnson in the distance. At least they all knew how babies were born. The only woman who had any real idea to help poor Abigail was Susan, and she had never had any of her own.

Arthur did sleep a bit more, sitting in the living room after getting the fire going, until the clock started to chime at 5. He practiced his usual morning routine and went into the kitchen, grabbing any cook books he could find. Ana had plenty of little recipe cards, however she had naturally wrote them in Spanish. He sat down after getting the coffee going and scanned the table of contents in each book to see if he could find something easy enough for him to make without it becoming a disaster. So many of the measurements they listed made absolutely no sense to him. What the hell was a ‘scruple’? Or a ‘dram’? He only knew a ‘gill’ as something fish had. He found one simple enough that didn’t have any of those, with the instructions understandable for someone as stupid in a kitchen as he felt like he was. Poaching eggs seemed simple enough. Making toast was easy.

He filled a small pot with water, setting it on the stove when it was hot enough for it to boil. As he waited he put a pan on the neighboring burner and dropped a spoonful of butter into it, letting it melt and cover the bottom. He cut some slices of bread and slapped them in, turning them every few minutes until they were crispy and a light brown. He put them onto a plate and into the warming shelf above the stove. The water was bubbling and steaming by then. According to the recipe he just needed to crack the eggs into the water and let them go until they set. He just watched them float in the water, the whites wrapping themselves back around the yolk like an overly complicated soft boiled egg. He strained them out with an odd looking utensil that looked like a metal spider’s web on a stick. He put them with the toast in the warming box.

Arthur went up and knocked on the door to Arthur Francisco’s room. When he went inside the boy was still snug in his bed. He almost felt bad needing to wake him, gently tapping him on the back until he opened his eyes.

“Hey.” Arthur whispered, “Time to get up and around.”

Arthur Francisco looked at him, baffled that he was the one there to rouse him, “Where’s Mama?”

“She’s with Mrs. O’Hogan. Her baby’s comin’ soon.” Arthur replied, silently thanking Ana that she already took the boy’s clothes out, “It’s just you and me today.”

Arthur had no idea what he was even supposed to do other than make sure the boy got out of bed. He was sure he knew how to take care of himself, he didn’t need to be supervised. On top of it he felt awkward just standing there as the child washed and dressed. He did note what Ana was talking about with him being like Arthur. It was in the way he fastened buttons, especially on his shirt when he left the two top buttons open as if he didn’t like the collar close around his neck. He moved his arms around to make sure his suspenders weren’t tight sitting on his shoulders. Arthur could really put a word on how it made him feel… The closest was a melancholic happiness, if that even made sense.

Even more like Arthur was he didn’t speak much in the morning. He mutely followed Arthur to the kitchen and sat down in his seat.

“Now, don’t expect anythin’ fancy like your mama can make.” Arthur said to him while taking out the poached eggs and the toast, sprinkling the eggs with some pepper. He absentmindedly poured the boy his own cup of coffee, before questioning if that was something Ana let him drink. He didn’t see any wrong in it. He was drinking coffee that young… Then again, he was smoking and drinking a few years later. None of it killed him, so one time for the kid wouldn’t hurt.

Arthur Francisco didn’t complain. His first few tastes of the drink gave him a puzzled look on his face, but he enjoyed the meal more than Arthur expected him to. Both ate in similar ways. They broke open the eggs with their forks so the yolk would bleed over the toast and dipped up the excess on the plate with the crusts.

In the stable the boy tended to his own horse, while Arthur helped the throng of other children. He got onto her on his own, he was still light enough to use only his arms to hoist him up into the saddle. Damn, Arthur wished he could still do that.

The youngest O’Hogan girl, Arthur believed she was called was Jane or something, went up to Arthur Francisco and asked if she could ride with him. He instantly and eagerly agreed. Arthur went over and helped her onto the back of Josefina, putting her legs on the same side so she didn’t wrinkle up her skirt.

Making their way through town more children joined. They sure did talk a lot, and all at once. Arthur found it to be a little too much noise for so early in the morning, it was like the girls giggling over coffee but tenfold. He tired to tune most of it out, staying focused on what was ahead and making sure the group didn’t run into each other’s horses or anyone in the street.

It was hard to believe the schoolhouse fit so many children. It looked like a two room shack at most with a covered bell tower and only one teacher standing on the porch to greet the pupils. Arthur assumed she was the other Svensson sister Ana had told him about.

He ushered and helped the children put their horses in the covered paddock in the yard. He made sure they had everything they needed, especially Arthur Francisco.

“All right.” Arthur said to him, “I’m heading off. If I’m back before the day ends I’ll come meet you. If not make sure everyone gets home safe.”

Arthur Francisco nodded, “Yes, sir. See you later.”

Arthur lit a cigarette watching everyone else go inside out of the elements. He sighed, turning Delfina to the direction of the sheriff’s office and jail.

[*]-----[*]-----[*]-----[*]-----[*]

Mrs. O’Hogan laid in her bed that was covered by old rags. She let in sharp breaths and slowly blew them out, making attempts to regulate the pain ever contraction brought to her. Ana and the rest of the women – including Bridget, the O’Hogans’ soon to be 16 year old daughter – did what they could to keep her comfortable as they waited for Dr. Anderson and the local midwife, an older woman the town mothers affectionately called Nurse Henry.

The air when a baby was expected was a heavy and bittersweet one, with so many potentials that overwhelmed the mind if thought about too deeply. There was excitement, the coming of a new life and a sore buy joyous mother. There was fear, no matter what birth was a dangerous affair for both. Ana had Arthur Francisco there, as did Mrs. Liang with her youngest son Caihong, and Mrs. O’Hogan herself had Jane and Adam and Nicolas in the same bed in the same house with no major or worrying troubles. With all the religious and superstitious trinkets from different backgrounds surrounding her, there was high hopes the good luck would continue.

They tried to keep the mood light, if only for Bridget’s sake. The young woman was more nervous about the ordeal than her mother was. Mrs. O’Hogan occasionally muttered that she hoped the doctor and nurse would make it before the baby did. Mrs. Liang and Mrs. Johnson agreed, with Mrs. Johnson remarking her second son Emmanuel nearly came out as soon as her labor started.

Dr. Anderson and Nurse Henry arrived just shy of 4 in the morning. Her jovial nature relaxed some of the anxiety, opening her little bag and getting right to work. Dr. Anderson was mostly there in case pain relief was needed or the birth would need to become a surgical one. She did offer Mrs. O’Hogan something called Ether, a way to reduce the discomfort, that Mrs. O’Hogan waved off with a comment that she went through it 5 other times without it and she doubted it would be any different the current time.

Then, 3 hours went by…

They kept Mrs. O’Hogan relaxed, letting her rest in any position that she deemed comfortable. They gave her plenty of juice to drink. Every woman in the room took turns walking around with her several times. In between each action to help things get going Nurse Henry would look underneath Mrs. O’Hogan’s shift to check how her dilation.

The sunlight broke and brightened the room by the time the baby was ready. Mrs. O’Hogan sat at the edge of the bed, leaning back so the nurse and doctor could kneel below her with blankets with Bridget behind them to see what it all entailed. Ana messaged Mrs. O’Hogan’s back as she pushed, Mrs. Johnson holding her hand, and Mrs. Liang dabbing her face with a cool damp cloth.

The shrill cry of a baby was a delight to everyone’s ears. Nurse Henry wrapped the baby quickly and took it closer to the furnace to clean them and keep them warm.

The nurse evaluated the baby, “You got yourself another healthy baby girl, ma’am!”

“Oh thanks be to God!” Mrs. O’Hogan cried in relief.

Once the afterbirth passed the women helped Mrs. O’Hogan affix a washable sanitary belt between her legs for any bleeding then removed the rags to tuck her into bed. The nurse gave her the tightly swaddled baby girl. Mrs. O’Hogan didn’t need instruction on what to do. Everyone watched, quietly taking in the small creature who latched onto her mother’s breast.

Ana didn’t want the experience to be sullied for herself. She smiled away the envy. Her reflection on being pregnant wasn’t the most positive one, but it seemed completely worth it once she held her son years ago. Growing up she was taught she would have several children, like every woman around her in Mexico did. Yet there was only one.

The baby was put into her cradle, rocked until she fell asleep. Mrs. O’Hogan took the chance to do the same. The lull was a welcome one for everybody. Once Dr. Anderson and Nurse Henry departed, the rest of the women returned to their stations in the room, collapsing and closing their own eyes.

[*]-----[*]-----[*]-----[*]-----[*]

The sheriff’s office looked like most others in every backwater town Arthur had found himself in, a wooden built and sided construction with one half heavy impenetrable stones where the cells were. He hitched Delfina to the side of it. He didn’t know what was compelling him to walk up to the door. He didn’t like nor trust the law in any capacity any more than he did. He didn’t need the money. That was the only thing that made him take the bounties before. He knew how easily, despite being considered dead, how it could be him running from these vultures again. What was it? To get the rush he once savored? To prove to some unseen judge he was a changed man?

He opened the door, interrupting whatever conversation Sheriff Strange was having with the three. bored looking deputies.

“Of course, if we ever get that goddamn rail line they’ve been promising-… Oh! Good morning Mr. Callahan.”

Arthur tipped his hat, “Sheriff.”

“Taking me up on bounties?”

Arthur nodded.

Sheriff Strange handed him a piece of paper. It wasn’t exactly what Arthur was expecting, just a scrawled note with a name, their crime, description of the person, their address, and the cost to turn them in alive.

“Now he isn’t the most high profile one we got around here, but how you handle him is how you earn my blessing.” The Sheriff explained, “Earl Harris is just your run of the mill card cheat. He’s mostly a thorn in my side, coming in every few months for the same offense. Check the saloon first. He’ll go easy unless he’s had liquor, but he’ll talk your ear off.”

The goal: find some old card shark and take him back to the jail. Probably just to spend whatever time he owes and get released to start it all over again. $2.50 wasn’t anything to sneeze at anyway. He left the Sheriff and his lethargic seeming deputies. Closing the door Arthur heard him chide them, for one of them to whine ‘Oh come on, Pa!’ in response.

He took a bundle of rope from one of Delfina’s saddle bags, attaching it to his belt just in case. He left her at the hitching post, the saloon was a convenient walk down the street. Arthur leaned against a support post, making himself look like another patron who had drunk until the morning. He nonchalantly looked into the large windows.

The card table was in the middle of the room, always within eye shot of the bar. The saloon was mostly empty except for a few stragglers from the night before, but there was a large group looking like they were playing a round of poker. He studied them. One that had his back to him seemed to fit who he was sent to search for – thin build, ill fitting denim overalls, long stringy white hair and from his vantage point what looked to be a matching beard, a tattered wide brimmed straw hat. He sort of reminded Arthur of Uncle if he had skipped several meals and was far more energetic.

Arthur pushed through the double swinging half doors and walked up to the table to his potential target, “Excuse me, partner. Are you Earl Harris?”

“Yeah! What’s it to ya?” The man replied, turning in his chair to Arthur.

“You think we could step outside? I have some business with you to speak about.”

Earl Harris excused himself to the other players. As he set the cards in his hand onto the table, a bundle of other cards slipped out of his sleeve for everyone to see. There was the evidence Arthur needed. It was so easy it was almost insulting.

One of the men against Earl Harris slammed threw his hand to the table, “You son of a bitch!”

Arthur swiftly led Harris out of the saloon as the men rose, taking off their jackets and rolling up their sleeves. The fight wouldn’t have been a fair one for them, Arthur was a head taller and twice their sizes, but the Sheriff wanted Harris alive and in all probability unbeaten.

“What’s this all about?!” Harris mumbled stumbling down the stairs at Arthur’s hand on his shoulder’s urging.

“Well, I’m afraid Mr. Harris you’re a wanted man.” Arthur explained, “You’re going to have to come with me to see Sheriff Strange and I’m hopin’ we could do this like gentlemen.”

Harris blinked and gave a mostly toothless grin to him, “Aw hell! Why didn’t ya just say so?”

The short walk felt like an eternity. The Sheriff wasn’t kidding about how incessant Earl Harris could talk. Arthur was audience to his entire life story and whatever detour he decided to focus upon before returning to the point. He had no concern about his impending incarceration. In fact, Arthur started to suspect he actually liked it.

Walking by Harris gave Delfina a hard pat on her rump, “Fine horse ya got here! Got the goddamn Gardener brand! Ya must be mighty close to that lady!”

“That’s no one’s concern but my own.” Arthur replied.

Harris didn’t take the hint, “Bout time she got herself a real man! That ol’ husband of hers weren’t much of one, if ya catch my drift!”

Arthur grabbed him buy the shoulder, his patience wearing thin, leading him into the Sheriff’s office. Harris gave a jovial greeting to them. He instructed Arthur what his preferred cell was. He gladly shoved him into it, getting as much distance from Harris as possible or he was at risk of getting Arthur’s gun handle across the head so he’d be quiet for a while.

“Told you he was conversationalist.” Sheriff Strange chuckled seeing the exhausted expression on Arthur’s face. He put the money he was owned on the desk. Arthur took it and made a gesture of thanks and goodbye.

“Tell Mrs. Gardener I said hello!” The Sheriff shouted after him, “Treat her right! She’s a fine, fine woman!”

Arthur took a deep breath to calm himself when riding away on Delfina. It made his skin crawl, not liking that any more than he did at the party.

[catcze]

HIHI I WAS BAKING LAST NIGHT AND. HAVING WRIO THOUGHTS. SO. He is definitely 100% the kind of guy to absolutely indulge your interests when he’s able to, especially bc he’s just so in love he can’t say no to something that makes you so happy T_T so he’d def get roped into doing things that you enjoy, like baking or smth (but specifically baking bc that’s what I’m thinking of rn lol). But but!! like imagine making cupcakes with him late at night and getting flour all over your hands and wiping them on his shirt just to see his reaction, or taste testing icing or batter and him kissing you to get his own taste of it, or finally getting them in the oven and slow dancing around the kitchen still covered in sugar and flour and and and. hfhshsjdj hear me out here omg I’m just so in love with him and domesticity is so very sweet to me

-royal anon

ROYAL ANON IF U SEE THIS THIS IS SO LATE IM SO SORRY ILY <//3

NO BUT AJHSBDHJASDHJBAS OMG 🥺 Wait ill be honest, the hyper-specific trope of cooking (or baking, in this case) early in the morning or late in the evening is absolutely of of my favorite tropes out there ever like that shit holds such a special place in my heart, so thinking about that with wrio is so 🥺🥺♡♡♡♡

AND IM HEARING U OUT IM SAT IM LISTENING ATTENTIVELY BC OMG I LOVEEE DOMESTICITY TOO 🥺 Like all that ?!??! That you typed up !?!??!! HOLY FUCK that made me kick my feetsies and giggle bc Wrio would so do that 😭 Even if he isn't much of a baker himself, knowing that you like baking and that you like him helping you while you're baking is enough reason for him to drop every single thing whenever you bake and spend time with you, no matter what time it is.

And !!!! THE FLIRTING 🥺 having little food fights with the ingredients and slipping and sliding over each other, or the cliche tasting the icing from your lips is so <333 and and and and andddd AKJSNDAK That's so CUTE like 😭 You've got egg yolk on your clothes, sugar in your hair. Wriothesley's got whipped cream in his hair, making it stick up in odd spikes. Chocolate is smeared on his cheek, right underneath his scar. You're two hot messes desperately in need of a shower and a change of clothes, but !! The atmosphere is so cute and fun, and you end up dancing in the kitchen, and Wrio manages to spin you around and dip you, and you even manage to spin him around too, which has the two of you giggling and smiley and akhjsdkjaskjk 😭😭

[mayra-quijotescx]

oh also I promised a friend instructions on how to make the thing I've been eating like once a day for a week

PESTO EGG SANDWICH

You need: Access to a toaster, a small skillet with a lid, access to a stove burner, and a spatula Sourdough bread, 2 slices (or 1 slice cut in half if you're trying to stretch it, just make sure the slices are still big enough to safely retrieve from a toaster. if in doubt toast first, then halve.) 1 egg 2 generous spoonsful of pesto These aren't vital, but they are nice: Slices of tomato sliced cheese (mozzarella and gouda both work well but follow your heart) prosciutto or your deli meat of choice avocado slices (haven't tried this one yet) tbh anything you'd put on a savory sandwich is probably fair game. If I had some olive salad or a roasted garlic clove* lying around I'd probably throw that on there.

Pesto on a small skillet, medium (like 4 on an electric range)

toast the bread slices to your preference

once the pesto is shimmering, crack the egg into that baby (carefully if you want to try for a runny yolk, or stir it with a fork if you do not want a runny yolk) and cover it

bring the burner down to 3. I sometimes forget to do this and not only does it cook faster but the oil and condensation spit at you a lot more aggressively and it's a little frightening

while that egg is cooking, gather the rest of your components

once the egg is done: burner off, scoop the egg out to one of the bread slices, drizzle the remaining pesto on the other, and stack your other ingredients (if any) in there

Delight

This is easy enough that I can and have done it several times on my 30-minute lunch break and still had time to finish eating before clocking back in. You absolutely can do this.

*oh in case you need a roasted garlic bulb in your life: This post is already kind of long so here is a read more

You Need:

access to an oven (toaster oven works too!) aluminum foil 1 (one) garlic bulb a knife! olive oil recommended but not strictly necessary: an herb/spice mix of your choosing (Alessi's bread dip spice grinder is my go-to, use your favorite though)

preheat oven to 400F

Leaving the paperwork mostly in place for structural integrity, carefully slice the top sliver off the garlic bulb. You want to expose a little bit of each of the cloves without cutting too much off of them.

Place it in the center of some foil, open cloves pointing up. Gently drizzle olive oil across it. Sprinkle the spice mix over top.

crumple that aluminum up all around it and bake for 40 minutes.

very carefully retrieve it and let it cool for a little while before using it. Can also be kept in the fridge. The cloves have been rendered buttery and are now perfect to spread on toast.

@redmagus77 is for you

[wowifinallywatched]

Wow I Finally Watched Don't Worry Darling

This movie was...satisfying.

You begin watching this perfect life. Perfect Marriage, Perfect Social life, Perfect House, Perfect Job. 

But it all seems a little too perfect.

Then suddenly, There will be a small shift in this perfect world. Something will change, There will be a speck of hesitation, An Egg with no yolk and you'll notice it instantly because all you’ve been given so far is perfection. 

Then it hooks you in.

This world is too perfect, So whats the catch? That's what the world has taught us, When things are too good to be true, They are. Right?

From there, Oh Boy you're in for a ride.

This movie shocked me, It surprised me, But most of all - A favourite of mine, It made me gasp so many times unexpectedly. 

By the end of it, In the last 30 minutes specifically, My phone was lost to my room, The outside world had completely fallen away and I was hunched over inches from my screen, Hands covering my mouth to stifle my gasps at 1am while we finally got the ultimate satisfaction of finding out the secret behind perfection.

If you want a movie thats going to take you in one direction, then suddenly jerk you in another, Then suddenly spin you 360 degree so much so you dont remember where perfection begins and reality ends. Because you're not given the answers and watching these characters squirm, You're discovering everything at the exact same time as Alice. 

You feel like you're living your best life with her. You feel like you're going crazy with her. You feel like you're escaping with her. You feel like you can't breathe as you're getting squished by the glass suffocating you into silence, Until suddenly "reality" sets in, making you wonder what's truly real at all.

If only we all knew what "real" truly meant.

Also i just have to note that the final song when Alice is driving away is PERFECTION! The best choice ever.

***SPOILERS AHEAD***

That ending. 

It went from a world run by men (Except for one poor, gorgeous soul) thinking they could control the world, But they underestimate the power of women. Whether in a collective or one on their own, Never underestimate the power of a woman.

That one final strike of the Shelley, Who was truly in charge, That made me gasp the loudest out of the whole movie. 

And even though it may not have been me weilding that blade, It made me feel powerful.

Never settle for contempt. Never settle for just fine. Never settle for anything but the life you deserve to live and the life you want to live. Whether thats a quiet life, A Travelling life, A family life, A single life, A life working your ass off and dancing all the worries away.

Never let anyone make that decision for you.

To suddenly find out that the man we've learnt to trust, learnt to love, learnt to admire has forced us into this perfect box? And the fact hes not the only man or woman that's done this. 

It's one thing to choose that life for yourself, It's another to do something out of Love and wanting the best for your relationship, But there is never an excuse to take away someones free will.

But when we found out this world isnt even REAL?! It's all in their melded HEAD?! 

When Bunny said "When you Kill someone in here, They die in real life." I could not think straight for a solid few minutes realising what that meant.

Absolutely mindfucked.

Then the ending is finally here, You feel like you're escaping this world with Alice and seeing her real future, You're on the edge of your seat awaiting to see the other side of those heavy breaths. 

But we never get to see. 

While this movie is satisfying, It doesn’t give you that final satisfaction that tips you over the edge of your choice of seat all together. But there's something special when a movie, The right movie, does that. 

Did Alice wake up in bed with her, now dead, husband beside her? Were they even married in real life? What sustanence do their bodies truly gain while away? Is what the men do everyday leave that digital world, Keep things running in the real world, then come back "home"? Did Alice go to prison for her crimes? Or did she stand in her kitchen alone once more, Freedom in her heart, Mind and soul as she moves her body along to the music without a care in the world.

What happened with all those living in that world without the will to do so? Did Shelley start a revolution? What were the consequences of this uproar in the real world? Did this digital world collapse or did those that wanted to stay, stayed and those that wanted to escape, Go?

Questions can be asked forever, But I love that everyone can interpret this ending how they want. 

Or I may have missed the point of the ending all together, Who knows! That's the incredible things about Film, Everyone has a different way of watching, experiencing and enjoying a film.

I knew this movie was going to be a psychological joyride, But I truly didnt expect such a turn of events as this.

I would love to watch this again now knowing what happens, Because I can just imagine there's so many more details that I missed.

[thecrankycook2022]

An absolutely delicious breakfast or brunch dish that is perfect for a group !

Recipe

Ingredients Makes 4 Servings

2 scallions

3 Tbsp. canola or olive oil

1 small yellow onion, thinly sliced

3 garlic cloves, thinly sliced

1 Tbsp. gochujang (Korean hot pepper paste)

1 cup chopped kimchi

1 Tbsp. red pepper flakes

2 tsp. sugar

1 cup French green or brown lentils

4 cups low-sodium chicken broth

1 tsp. Kosher salt

4 large eggs

Preparation

#1 Remove dark green tops from scallions and thinly slice; set aside for serving. Thinly slice remaining white and pale-green parts. Heat oil in a large saucepan over medium-high. Cook white and pale-green parts of scallions, onion, and garlic, stirring often, until softened and starting to brown, about 4 minutes. Add gochujang and cook, stirring often and reducing heat as needed to prevent burning, until very fragrant and slightly darkened in color, about 2 minutes. Add kimchi, red pepper flakes, and sugar and cook, stirring, until kimchi is slightly softened and translucent, about 2 minutes. Add lentils, broth, and 1 tsp. kosher salt and stir to combine. Bring stew to a boil, then reduce heat and cover. Simmer, adding a splash of water if needed, until lentils are just barely tender, 20–25 minutes.

# 2 Uncover pan. Crack an egg into a ramekin, then gently slide into stew. Repeat with remaining eggs, leaving some space around each. Cover pan and simmer until egg whites are set but yolks are still runny, about 3 minutes.

# 3 Ladle stew into bowls, making sure to include an egg in each, and top with reserved scallion tops.

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[masalamingles]

Chocolate Mousse

Absolutely! Here’s an easy and delicious recipe for Chocolate Mousse: Ingredients: • 7 ounces (about 200g) of suitable quality semi-candy or dark chocolate, chopped • 1 and 1/2 cups (360ml) heavy cream, divided • 3 big egg yolks • three tablespoons granulated sugar • 1 teaspoon natural vanilla extract • Pinch of salt • Optional toppings: whipped cream, chocolate shavings, berries, and many others. • Instructions: Melt the chocolate: Place the chopped chocolate in a heatproof bowl set over a pot of simmering water (double boiler). Stir now and again till the chocolate is absolutely melted and clean. Remove from warmness and allow it to cool barely. • In a separate bowl, whisk together the egg yolks, granulated sugar, vanilla extract, and a pinch of salt until the mixture becomes faded and barely thickened. • In a saucepan, warmth half of cup (120ml) of heavy cream until it begins to simmer but does no longer boil. • Slowly pour the heated cream into the egg yolk aggregate, whisking constantly to mix. • Pour the egg and cream aggregate back into the saucepan and prepare dinner over low warmth, stirring continuously, until the mixture thickens slightly (do no longer permit it boil). This will take approximately 2-three minutes. Remove from warmth. • Add the melted chocolate to the egg and cream mixture, whisking until well mixed and smooth. Allow the mixture to cool to room temperature. • In a blending bowl, whip the last 1 cup (240ml) of heavy cream till stiff peaks shape. • Gently fold approximately 1/3 of the whipped cream into the cooled chocolate aggregate to lighten it. Then, carefully fold in the ultimate whipped cream till absolutely incorporated. Be gentle to maintain the mousse mild and airy. • Divide the chocolate mousse among serving glasses or bowls. • Cover the mousse and refrigerate for at the least 2 hours or until set. • Before serving, you can garnish the chocolate mousse with whipped cream, chocolate shavings, berries, or another preferred topping. • Enjoy the decadent and creamy Chocolate Mousse! Note: This recipe makes approximately 4-6 servings, depending on the size of your serving glasses or bowls. Adjust quantities thus for larger or smaller portions. Keep Following Masala Mingles to stay updated with more interesting recipes !!

Read Next: https://masalamingles.com/cheesecake/

[micamicster]

Here is my shakshuka recipe (which is not at all traditional BUT is easy fast and very delicious and thats all that matters)

Salt and black pepper

Olive oil or ghee or other oil to cook in (I use niter kibbeh which is an Ethiopian spiced butter because it is so so delicious to add flavor this way but you can use any oil)

Spices! I consider cumin and chili flakes absolutely essential but you can really play around here

Cloves of garlic (use about one clove per egg)

Eggs (1-2 per person)

cherry tomatoes (enough to cover the pan)

Toast/rice (optional)

Frying pan/saucepan with a lid (or object that can be used as a lid)

Put the oil in the pan on medium heat and add the whole garlic cloves. Let them brown for a minute or two (I crack some salt and pepper on them while this is going on). Then throw in the cumin, chili flakes, and whatever other spices you’re using. Follow with enough cherry tomatoes to cover the bottom of the pan. Mix around and then cover the pan.

Let cook for a few minutes, until the tomatoes begin to burst and release their juice. (I tend to use the back of a spoon and the lid to burst some of them myself and hurry the process along but I’m impatient so do what feels right to you). Once there’s plenty of bubbling juices it’s time to add the eggs!

Remove the lid from the pan and gently crack each egg into the boiling tomato mixture, evenly spaced. You can try to make a little well with your spoon to keep the individual eggs contained but it doesn’t really matter. Crack some salt and black pepper onto each egg and then put the lid back on. Turn the heat down to low.

Keep cooking for 5-15 minutes, until the egg whites are cooked through and the yolk is at your preferred stage of jiggle. Then remove from the heat. You can eat with toast, over rice, or just on their own! The whole process should take under 20 minutes and there are infinite variations possible <3

I want to make shakshuka but im wearing a white shirt. Another day another of god’s trials and tribulations 💞

[harrysfolklore]

omg a soon-to-be-dad!harry blurb with @/tashimrod as the face claim, i just found out she’s pregnant 🥹

one thing about this blog is that i’m going to write a dad!harry blurb <3 i really hope you like this

if you like what i post please pleaseee consider sending my a tip, i have college bills to cover and i’d appreciate the support 🤍

ask me anything | masterlist | likes and reblogs are appreciated !

liked by kaiagerber, harrystyles and 2,098,636 others

yourinstagram hi from us 🥹

view all 58,937 comments

ynfan1 the most gorgeous girl ever

bellahadid Love of my life ❤️

harryfan1 she’s absolutely stunning

harrystyles I’m so, very much, in love with you x

↳ ynfan1 AWEEE

↳ harryfan2 somebody sedate me

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 1,984 others

harrysatellite I met Harry today in NYC !!! he was really sweet and he told us he was picking up some food for him and yn 🥺🥺 we love boyfriendrry

view all 659 comments

harryfan1 HOW ARE YOU SO CALM ABOUT THAT

ynfan1 aweeee

harryfan2 i might cry

harryupdates Congratulations 🥺🥺🤍

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 4,973 others

theharrytea Deuxmoi via instagram stories. what do you think? 😳

view all 1,009 comments

harryfan1 oh god

harryfan2 we’re honestly better than to believe deuxmoi

ynfan1 it is so harmful to assume that she’s pregnant just based on how her body looks

ynfan2 this is disrespectful

liked by alexademie, harrystyles and 2,346,836 others

yourinstagram maple syrup, coffee, pancakes for two (literally)

view all 59,037 others

ynfan1 prettiest girl

sza lemme kiss your forehead

zendaya ❤️

harrystyles Hash brown, egg yolk. I will always love you two x

↳ harryfan1 OKAY WHAT DO THEY MEAN

↳ ynfan1 the pregnancy rumors and now this suspicious comments 😬

harryfan2 guys i don’t think they’re just quoting his song

ynfan2 is this a soft launch of her pregnancy ??

liked by yourinstagram, maggierogers and 2,101,736 others

harrystyles Love On Tour. Austin I. September, 2022.

view all 86,726 comments

harryfan1 SO CUTE

annetwist ❤️❤️

harryfan2 when your love language is acts of kindness and you want everyone to know

yourinstagram 🧎💖

↳ ynfan1 getting down in one knee

↳ ynfan2 hi bestie

liked by adele, yourinstagram and 10,836,736 others

harrystyles Living in a daydream (literally) x

view all 187,266 comments

harryfan1 OHMYLAJSJA

billieeilish CONGRATULATIONS 🥺

ynfan1 HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

yourinstagram Surprise 🫶

harryfan2 harry is going to be a husband ??????? harry is going to be a dad ???????????

niallhoran Congratulations, mate ❤️

florencepugh i love the three of you so much 🥺💘

harryfan3 I CANT BELIEVE THIS

lukehemmings Delightful news. I’m so happy for you buddy 💖

harryfan4 SO MANY CELEBRITIES HERE HOLY SHIT

ynfan2 the fact that they used his lyric to announce it i might cry

liked by bellahadid, harrystyles and 5,093,736 others

yourinstagram happier than ever 🤍 i can’t wait to start a family with you, h

view all 102,827 comments

ynfan1 IM STILL SHOCKED OVER THIS

kaiagerber i can’t wait to meet my little squish 💘

harrystyles You make me so happy. Happiest I’ve ever been. Thank you, thank you, thank you x

↳ harryfan1 HARRYYYYY STOP

↳ harryfan2 still crying

dualipa Congratulations angels 💓

alexademie that’s my best friend

ynfan2 JUST RIP MY HEART OUT

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 3,098 others

harryupdates “Some pretty interesting signs tonigh, there’s one that says ‘Congratulations on becoming a dilf’. Well, what can I say, I’m honored to become a dilf, I hope I don’t disappoint my very own favorite dilfs, Mitch Rowland and Nick Kroll” -Harry in Austin tonight !

view all 986 comments

harryfan1 STOOOOOP

ynfan1 girlie got herself a funny man

harryfan2 I LOVE FATHER HARRY

ynfan2 I LOVE THEM

liked by yourinstagram, harrystyles and 1,680,237 others

alexademie real life maddy perez @yourinstagram

view all 38,936 comments

ynfan1 I LOVE THEM

harrystyles Take care of my missus and baby please

↳ harryfan1 HIS MISSUS AND BABY STOP

↳ harryfan2 CRYING

yourinstagram we love you ❤️

ynfan2 she’s glowing

liked by lizzobeeating, yourinstagram and 2,114,723 others

harrystyles Love On Tour. Austin V. October, 2022.

view all 95,736 comments

harryfan1 BABYY

annetwist ❤️

harryfan2 can you believe he’s going to be a daddd

yourinstagram we miss you 🥺🥺

↳ ynfan1 the way she says we as in her and the baby MY HEART

YN’S INSTAGRAM STORIES

//

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 3,098 others

harryupdates “‘Wanna hang out after this?’ Well, i bet you are a lot of fun to hang out with, but i have to catch a plane to New York to see my fiancée and baby, yeah, did you know i’m going to be a father? I’m going to be a father next year! - Harry tonight 🥺

view all 396 comments

harryfan1 MY HEARTTTT

ynfan1 they’re both so happy about being parents it’s so sweet

harryfan2 FATHER HARRY

ynfan2 yes go home to your pregnant woman

liked by yourinstagram, lizzobeeating and 2,098,635 others

harrystyles Love On Tour. Austin IV. October, 2022.

view all 85,836 comments

harryfan1 BEST OUTFIT EVER

kidharpoon Ready to hop on that plane, aren’t you?

↳ harrystyles Eager x

↳ harryfan2 STOOOP 🥺🥺

yourinstagram hurry home ❤️

↳ ynfan1 this couple makes my heart burst

↳ harryfan3 yes harry hurry home to your woman

liked by selenagomez, harrystyles and 5,037,725 others

yourinstagram reunited 🤍

view all 97,635 comments

ynfan1 IM CRYINGGGGG

adele ❤️❤️

harryfan1 i’m so happy they share this with us

florencepugh um can we hang out?

jefezoff 🥺🥺

harrystyles Loves of my life x

harryfan2 imagine when the baby is born

taglist: @cucciolafaerie @eleanordaisy @sunflowersndpeaches @golden-hoax @alienorknight @daydreamingofmatilda @sunflowervolume66 @vanteguccir @ivyproblems @ayeshathestyles @stylesmygucci @gimsaysay @rosaliedepp @dontworrysunflower @milfrrynation @manifestrry @iceebabies @harrystylesrecs @pleasingrryyy @harianaswhore @leadmetogarden @abeanontoast @grapejuice-rry @vrittivsanghavi @msolbesg @tati813 @sad1esgf @ivegotparticulartaste @wobblymug @eviesaurusrex @olivialovesh @itsgabbysblog @theekyliepage @gumballavocadoharry @watermelonsugacry @be-with-me-so-happily @a-strange-familiar @reveriehs @musicforcinemas @rafeyyyyy @tinydeskwriter @noooovaaaaa @tenaciousperfectionunknown @mxltifxnd0m @rach2602 @balletdancerry @b-reads-things @juiceboxrry

[thesouthernpansy]

scents and sensibilities (7/8)

(word count: 3,200; chapter rating: 🔥🔥)

“Well, we’ve started a little book club for ourselves, haven’t we,” Katherine tells the camera. A mismatched collection of chairs surrounds the sofa where she holds court, occupied by Nick and Stu, Edith and Ruth and a couple other members of Elderly Eternity. “Nick here suggested the series, and it’s been a lovely way to pass the time.”

Nick shrugs. “Yeah, they’re pretty good.”

“They’re sensational,” says Ruth, holding her copy up to the camera for reference. The cover is a lurid illustration of a stern, hirsute hero with exaggeratedly wolfish features and a bandolier of wooden stakes, one arm wrapped protectively around the waist of a swooning, dark-haired vampire wearing an exaggeratedly low-cut dress and an expression of utter devotion. A full, yolk-yellow moon rises in the background, the black lines of a gallows silhouetted against it. The Hunter Was Hung, reads the title in embossed white font, Book One of the Moonrise Lovers Series: A Paranatural Romance.

Ruth taps a finger excitedly against the embracing couple. “Make you think of anyone?”

Stu squirms a bit in his seat—”Yeah, I kind of wish she didn’t keep saying how the main guy reminds her of Anton?” he admits later to the cameras. “Makes it a bit weird, since he’s, like, my Alpha and that.”—and turns his copy of the book face down in his hands.

Before the assistant producer can answer, a frustrated shout comes from the corner, where Deacon is currently camped out playing World of Warcraft with someone creatively named d10n_the_w0lf.

“Where does it say that I cannot kill a member of my raiding party?” he demands into the headset he’s wearing. “Well if they kick me out they will not have either of their tanks, so who is the arsehole now, hm?” He pauses, scowl deepening as someone responds on the other end. “No, no, you must leave the party along with me, I will still look like the aresehole if you’re not on my side,” he hisses insistently.

“Deacon, dear, would you mind keeping it down a bit?” Katherine calls over, smiling apologetically at the cameras.

“Me?” snaps Deacon. “Go fuck yourself, this is the computer’s room, why don’t you go somewhere else for your disgusting book club?”

“—now Deacon, that isn’t—”

“Don’t you talk to her like that—”

“—here first anyway—!”

A din of voices breaks out, the majority of them sounding much more disappointed than angry, though Ruth seems more than prepared to meet Deacon’s increasingly physical posturing.

“—don’t think for an instant that means I couldn’t tear you apart with one hand!”

“Ruth, I don’t think that’s helping—”

“—like to see you try, you brittle old hag—”

The door to the lounge slams open. Swift, absolute silence as those assembled turn to see Viago in the doorway, swaying on his feet, hollow-eyed and covered head to toe in gouts of gore.

“I knew it!” crows Deacon. “Where is Vladislav, I have to say to his face ‘I told you so’!” He starts to get up, pauses and puts a hand against the earpiece of his headset. “Viago has defeated your pathetic ‘Alpha’ in glorious battle is what has happened,” he replies, as though it should be obvious. “Well how should I know that? What does that—are you crying? Don’t, hey, don’t—”

“Stay here, please, everyone.” Katherine rises and goes to Viago, taking his hands and pressing a hankie into them. “Would you like to talk somewhere else?” she asks gently.

Viago nods pitiably.

They go to where Katherine has set up her coffin, a former sitting room newly wallpapered with daisies, cozily decorated with porcelain knickknacks and a little table and chair drenched in crocheted doilies. Katherine settles Viago in and putters about setting some blood to warm on a hotplate in the corner. Viago wipes miserably at his face with her handkerchief.

“Now,” says Katherine, dusting her hands as she turns back to him. “What’s all—oh my, Viago?”

With an anguished wail, Viago throws himself onto the floor in front of her, both fists clenching at the front of her skirt as he sobs into them. Katherine places a comforting hand on the top of his head.

“There, there. Has something happened with Anton?” she asks carefully, which makes Viago cry even harder. A firmer expression comes onto her face, and she asks, “What’s he done?”

Viago shakes his head vehemently. “No, no, it isn’t—Anton has done nothing wrong. It’s me, Katherine, I—” He lets out another hiccough of a sob, and sits back on his heels, looking up at her with huge, sorrowful eyes. 

“I have been unfaithful to you, in my actions and—” he twists the handkerchief in his hands with such force that the stitching starts to come apart. “—and in my heart.”

“What’s that now?” asks Katherine.

“I would never want to hurt you,” Viago tells her quickly, reaching to cradle her hands in his, “and I have no regrets about what has happened between us. But you deserve perfect honesty from me, and I have realized tonight that I can’t continue what we are doing here anymore. You see, I—” And here his expression lightens, something gentle and quiet coming into his eyes. “I am in love with Anton.”

Katherine does not seem surprised for nearly as long as Viago might have expected her to. She laughs a little, pats a palm fondly against his cheek. 

“Oh, Viago. I know.”

“You know?”

By the time any of the crew can get away from the chaos in the lounge, they nearly collide with Viago rushing out of Katherine’s room. He stares practically through them, hair tousled and eyes sharp, and a fierce, determined set to his posture that wouldn’t be too far out of place on one of the book club’s paperback covers. He doesn’t seem terribly pleased by their presence, and a little of the metaphorical air goes out of him. He sniffles a bit, opens his mouth, closes it. He turns to the window, peering out at the lurking pink dawn. Looks at the crew again. Then, in one swift motion, Viago throws up the sash and bats out and away into the dwindling night.

If the camera had been able to follow him, this is what it might have seen: Anton, startling awake at the pounding on his window. Scrubbing the sleep from his eyes as he stumbles over to pull aside the curtain. The slow tick of seconds as the bleary expression on his face gives way to recognition to panic.

“Wha—Viago, is that you? It’s almost morning, what are you doing, get in here!"

He lets out an oof as the little bat that zooms in through the window hits him full in the chest with all the sudden weight of a full-grown and very clingy vampire.

“Am I dreaming?” asks Anton, hands careful on the small of Viago’s back, like he isn’t quite sure that VIago won’t disappear on contact. “Is this because I went to bed angry at you?”

“You are angry with me?” Viago pulls back to look at him, wilting visibly. It’s not exactly the greeting he’d hoped for.

“You just left me there in the park!” Anton reminds him. “And in a bit of a compromised position, might I add. I had to get a ride back with the documentary guys, and then I got in to half the pack ready to declare war because Deacon told Dion you’d killed me? What’s going on there?”

Viago winces, gesturing to his bloody clothes. “I think he may have made some assumptions."

Anton lets out a harsh breath through his nose. “He’s a real fucking egg sometimes, that guy. It took ages to convince Dion I wasn’t some kind of vengeful spirit. Plus someone had called Clifton about it and Denise was half out of her mind with worry, I had to explain to the guys that I had willingly let the wolf out in the middle of Wellington Central, I’ve only just got the blood out of my hair and as if all that weren’t enough here you come trying to get yourself killed getting caught in the sunrise! What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that I wanted to see you,” replies Viago honestly, and Anton lets out an involuntary breath, glances away.

“That’s not worth you being incinerated,” he says, but it’s not quite the scold he clearly meant it to be.

“Well obviously I did not get incinerated,” Viago points out, rolling his eyes. “See? Hello, here I am, all in one piece!”

"Here you are," agrees Anton thoughtfully. Then, "Why'd you go in the first place?"

Underneath that is the more complicated question that Viago has really only just pieced together the answer to for himself. On the surface of it, though, well.

“It turns out that I was, um, mistaken about some things,” he says, embarrassment catching up to him now that he has to hear himself say it out loud.

“I don’t follow.”

Viago fidgets with the cuff of his sleeve, cringing as it flakes dried blood onto Anton’s shoulder. "I went to go break up with Katherine."

Anton’s eyebrows disappear into his fringe. "You went—you two were still together?"

"As I said, I was mistaken about some things.” It comes out as a bit of a snap, but Anton is already laughing, his hands sliding up under Viago’s jacket.

“Do you vampires not talk to each other about this sort of stuff? You know, if you maintain open lines of communication before these problems come up, you can—”

Viago makes a frustrated sound and surges forward to kiss him.

“Is talking all you werewolves ever want to do?”

“I like talking to you,” says Anton, half-breathless. “But I’m open to other suggestions.”

His eyes fall to Viago’s mouth and the familiar ache of hunger pulls at Viago's gut. He grins—it feels all fangs and need, dark and honey-sweet, Anton sleep-warm and rumpled in his boxers and a ratty t-shirt. His hair is half-dried and stuck up on one side, and there are still pillow marks on his face, and Viago finds he wants him as badly as he did when he still had the taste of blood on his teeth.

When they kiss again, it’s not quite picking up where they left off, the urgency tempered, if only slightly, into something slower and more thorough. It’s careful and unhurried until it’s very much not, building heat as Anton licks heedlessly into Viago’s mouth and Viago’s knees nearly give from under him. Anton doesn’t miss a beat, taking his weight easily with an arm around his shoulders. Viago hmms happily and admires the way Anton’s pulse flutters against his palm.

“I, uh,” Anton seems to lose his train of thought briefly, kissing his way back to it along Viago’s jaw. “I don't wanna presume, but I’ve only just washed these sheets and your clothes are still, well, still a bit—”

Still a bit filthy and crusted with blood and not getting anywhere near my clean bed, is probably his intention, and Viago can’t really find fault with that. It’s already begun to rub off in places on Anton’s pajamas, streaks of rust along his chest and shoulders. Viago looks down at himself.

“I could…take them off?”

Anton’s eyes go dark at that. "Yeah, that could work."

Viago’s clothes are dried stiff enough by now to be unwieldy, but Anton is eager as ever to help. If he’s less careful than Viago might like—to his credit, he only pops a single button in his frustration with Viago’s pants— any annoyance Viago might’ve felt is greatly ameliorated by the way Anton chases every new swath of exposed skin with his mouth.

“Wait—” There’s a scrape of teeth at Viago’s hipbone, the shivery sensation of skin just before the breaking point. “Come here, come here.” Viago grasps at anything he can reach of Anton and hauls him back up.

Anton follows like a tidal wave, heaving Viago onto the bed and crowding in against him, one long line of solid weight and heat. Viago grabs and comes back with hands full of t-shirt, snarls in frustration.

“That’s no fair,” he says. “You must take this off, too.”

Anton surfaces from what would be a very impressive hickey if Viago’s body were capable of it. He yanks the shirt over his head and tosses it aside, revealing a broad chest that makes Viago’s mouth water, downy with ginger hair. The impulse to touch, the realization that he can, is overwhelming, the spread of his own fingers against Anton's flushed skin almost hypnotizing. Anton startles and shudders, and Viago blinks up at him in concern.

"Your hands are cold," says Anton sheepishly.

Viago starts to apologize and retract them, but Anton stops him, bends to kiss the sentiment into silence.

"We'll just—is it sexy offering to warm you up? Is that anything?"

"I don't think that's possible, like this," laughs Viago, running his hands thoughtfully up to Anton's shoulders. "Though now that I am thinking of it I have never tried it quite like this."

"First time for everything," says Anton, breath hitching as Viago takes the opportunity to roll their hips together. Through the thin remaining fabric between them, his erection is undeniable—and impressive, hold on there. 

“May I—?” Viago pauses with a hand at Anton’s waistband.

“Yeah, yeah,” Anton nods. “Hang on, I can—” He shifts away briefly, twisting awkwardly as he seems determined to get his boxers off without ever getting quite far enough away that he can’t still be kissing Viago at the same time. There’s a faint ripping, the knock of his knee into Viago’s thigh, and then, finally, the slow, delicious drag of bare skin. Anton’s fingers dig into Viago’s hips as he ruts against him, shaking with the obvious effort of control.

Viago tries to be subtle about peeking, but subtlety has never really been his forte. He feels Anton’s eyes on him as he cranes his neck for a better look, the attention managing to pull a blush from Anton even under their current circumstances.

“The, uh, the change did come with a few perks, turns out.” Anton seems a little self-conscious, but mostly pleased.

“I would certainly say so.” Viago wets his lips. There’s not a single inch of Anton that he doesn’t want in his mouth, but there are now several inches he’s thinking about more than some others. Several ruddy, leaking inches that slot against Viago in a way that forces a gasp out of him, desire punched up from his gut and settling, viscous and thick, into his limbs.

"Oh, do that again."

Anton complies with a groan. He bears down, trailing sloppy, open-mouthed kisses along Viago’s neck, teeth grazing the unresponsive pulse point. The pressure between them increases, the pace of Anton’s hips, the friction and heat of his cock a building bud of slick, boneless pleasure at the base of Viago’s spine. Both arms grope for purchase around Anton’s shoulders; a low growl rumbles in the back of Anton’s throat as Viago’s neatly manicured nails dig desperate half-moons into his skin.

“G—hngh, Viago.” Anton gets a hand between them to curl loosely around Viago’s cock and stroke, and a liquid shudder ripples through Viago’s body. He mouths aimlessly at Anton’s jaw, the bared column of his throat, tasting sweat and his own high, needy keens.

Anton kisses them out of his mouth, hand still working. The rhythm he sets is a little clumsy, at first, all stops and starts in time with the noises he wrings from Viago until it settles into one long unbroken litany of whimpers and sighs and praise, voice tight as the knot of his heart in his throat.

Anton's breath comes in short, harsh pants. "Is—does it feel good?"

Viago tangles his fingers in Anton’s hair, buries his face against the side of his neck, so wildly, viciously happy he’s certain Anton must be able to feel it, humming along the surface of his skin where they touch.

"Yes,” he sighs, “yes, it’s lovely, oh Anton.”

Anton moans, deep and tight and hungry in the pit of his chest. His hand, his hips, pick up speed, messy, driving desperation that surges over Viago like the tide, in and out and up and up and up, coiled and huge and clear. Anton's pulse soars under Viago’s tongue, the rapid thrum of his blood pooling in Viago’s mouth like something tangible, a tantalizing echo. Viago feels shuttered loose from his body, steadily and inexorably taken to shuddering pieces under Anton’s capable touch. Anton says Viago’s name halfway to a snarl, hips stuttering, and Viago clings, arching up, and cums with a cry.

It’s a long, sticky moment before Viago manages to return to his senses. Judging by the way Anton is trembling and petting mindlessly at Viago’s face, at least they’re on the same page about that. Anton lets out a shaky breath that turns into a shaky laugh as he sits back, his blissed-out smile veering sideways into what could almost be surprise.

“Huh, I, uh, wasn’t sure you could actually—”

“Oh, yes,” Viago assures him. “A vampire’s seed is quite potent, actually.”

“Well,” says Anton. “Learn something new every day, don’t you.”

“Did you not—? You’re still—” Viago gestures.

A flush creeps up Anton’s neck as he tucks his knees up around a dick that is still unmistakably erect. 

“No, I did, it’s uh—”

Understanding flickers promisingly in Viago’s belly. “Another perk?”

“It can be,” Anton starts but Viago is already pushing him back onto his elbows and moving to straddle him. He kisses Anton, slow and thorough, once and then again, unable to stop himself from grinning so wide that one fang snags Anton’s lip as he pulls back. Anton’s breath hitches and flares, his eyes half-lidded as Viago presses another biting kiss along his jawline, his clavicle, over the swell of his chest where his heartbeat is strongest. The softness of his belly, the toned plane of his inner thigh. 

Anton is making the most spectacular noises above him, clenching his fists in the sheets, in the air, against one another like he knows where he wants them but isn’t sure if it’s allowed. Viago takes pity on him, butting his head gently into Anton’s palm until he takes the hint and winds his fingers into the curls near the nape of Viago’s neck.

“You may pull if you like,” he tells Anton, “but be gentle.”

Anton looks back at him with pupils blown to black, the faintest hint of gold and a depthless, incredulous warmth.

“I, uh, just don’t want to, uh—” He stalls, thumb rubbing circles behind Viago’s ear in a way that melts him a little.

“You’re very sweet,” Viago tells him fondly. “You don’t need to worry about that, though, I haven’t had a gag reflex for centuries!”

As if to demonstrate, he bends to finally tongue the head of Anton’s cock for an appreciative moment before swallowing him to the root with a hum.

“Fuck,” hisses Anton beautifully, fingers tightening.

Viago would tease him for the profanity, but his mouth is rather otherwise occupied.

[mcyt-imagines]

hi hi ! first off, just a tip if you'd like more requests/asks in general you should prob turn on anon since this is like the only time i've sent a non-anon ask. but anyways, i'm assuming requests are open and i'd like to ask if you would write either just ranboo fluff in general or something like the tommy confession headcanons but w ranboo :D what you've posted so far is great <3

Thank you so much for letting me know! I thought I had anon turned on already, but it’s 100% turned on now! Regarding your request I got a little carried away and wrote both some general fluff and some confession headcanons for Ranboo so this post is a little long... Hope you enjoy! :D

(It’s important to note that these headcanons are a combination of ones pertaining to his Minecraft character in the dsmp and him outside of the dsmp roleplay!)

General Ranboo Fluff

- Dreamsmp Ranboo -

The first time Ranboo cries in front of you is when you confess to him and he is so happy and relieved that you reciprocate his feelings. He even smiles through the pain of his tears as you panic to cover the skin beneath his eyes, so your hands catch his tears to stop the pain.

Ranboo likes to ask if you need any resources from time to time and once you finally give in and answer, he spends the rest of his day trying to collect as much of it as he can. This has led to a few incidents in which you came back to your shared indent in the snowy mountain to find a chest stacked full with polished stone and countless ores. You’ve scolded him but the way he responds with big puppy dog eyes wishing to “just be helpful.” Sets the butterflies caged in your chest free every damn time.

Ranboo in addition to asking you for want you want he is also very observant in noticing what you need. Any tools close to breaking? Brilliant, he’s already got three more of the same tools ready for you to grab when you need it. He also names them using the anvil to some silly super cheesy pet names.

One of his favourite things to do with you is stargaze. You both travel to the top of your snowy mountain and clear out a space free of snow to lie down and simply hold each other. Ranboo has started asking Techno (on the nights you are away) to point out the stars and tell him their corresponding stories. He happily relays all of this information to you in exaggerated detail, looking at you in awe as your expressions change with the twinkling lights above.

Ranboo almost always carries a little umbrella around with him in case it begins to rain. Most of his friends notice and all start to buy him some. He now has a full collection that line his wall just next to the door. It’s those small things that allows him to remember who his real friends are.

Ranboo LOVES having his hair played with. He will fall asleep within minutes of you beginning to tousle his hair as he rests his head in your lap. He may make soft enderman noises, but you don’t dare tell him. Content on keeping that little secret to yourself.

Ranboo has to be kinda careful around snow considering that if it melts it will hurt him. Meaning he has to sit out on any snowball fights that occur. And they occur more frequently than you would think. It usually starts with Phil throwing a rogue snowball at Techno when Phil notices him slumping his shoulders. Which means it doesn’t take long until it’s a full-blown war. You usually find yourself smack bang in the middle of it and have to dive down to avoid getting pummelled in the crossfire. Ranboo will call you over to hide behind Techno’s house. As the onslaught continues between the two. you giggle and commentate over the fierce battle together.

- Outside of Dreamsmp Ranboo - 

Ranboo enjoys watching you whenever you are focused on something. He’s incredibly observant and finds himself mimicking the small little nuances he sees you exhibit. He gets incredibly flustered whenever you notice that he’s picked up on them, but he doesn’t bother to deny it.

Ranboo finds himself staring at you a lot. He doesn’t mean to but he can’t help it. You catch him frequently, “Watching me real closely, hm?” He tries to stutter out an answer to defend himself, but you just smile and tell him it’s okay.

Ranboo finds a lot of comfort in doing ‘domestic’ activities with you. However, one of his personal favourites is when the two of you go out to get groceries together. His mum will give him a small list and he’ll try his best to dawdle around the store whilst swinging your intertwined hands to make the visit as long as possible. It makes him think of a future in which the two of you get to do this every single week and that alone warms his heart.

Ranboo always has to be near you, he doesn’t have to be physically touching you but he prefers to just be stupidly close to you. It always makes you laugh when he sits just close enough to you that you don’t touch, so now he has to do it forever.

Your laugh is one of his favourite sounds. To the point that if you giggle or laugh at something, he will just keep doing it over and over again for as long as you keep laughing at it. Which eventually leads to the both of you red-faced and gasping for air.

Ranboo is a terrible cook. But he tries so hard to follow recipes and they always flop. He also for some reason, cannot attempt cooking without making an utter mess of himself. Whether it’s spilling flour all over himself, getting egg yolk splatter somehow in his hair or just spilling copious amounts of milk on the floor so that he slips. This boy is a walking, talking kitchen DISASTER. So now he can only cook with you supervising him. Which turns out, wasn’t as much of a punishment as it should have been. As your tutelage seems to have slightly improved his cooking skills. However, now you also get flour spilt all over you as well.

Ranboo Confession Headcanons

- Realising he likes you - 

Ranboo denies he has feelings for you at first. Believing that you’re just a good friend whose company he really enjoys. But the more he focuses on your friendship the quicker he realises he would prefer if you were more to him than that.

This thought alone sends him into a little bit of a spiral for a few days. Grappling with the thought of rejection and the guilt he would feel if he ever hurt you.

He spends most of the time grappling with his feelings he continues to try and act as normal as possible around you. You finding out would be his worst nightmare.

Ranboo realises he has absolutely no history in the dating department and desperately needs some guidance. He may ask Phil on a whim who would try his best to give the poor panicked boy some words of wisdom. Ranboo takes the advice to heart immediately, promising Phil he will update him on how his feelings for you turn out.

Ranboo finds himself writing about you in one of his many journals. He finds putting words on the page seems to help clear his mind. He tries to script his confession a few times. Desperately floundering to find the right words, but he always seems to fall short. He usually ends up scribbling all over those pages until you can barely tell someone had even written on them. Hoping to somehow erase the thoughts in the process.  

He even tries drawing you a few times when he finds himself with enough spare time. He doesn’t think they’re any good though. Sure, the sketches look like you, but they don’t make him feel the way you do. When he looks at the page his chest doesn’t tighten because of your beauty, but instead because of the way you’ve made him feel. Which he comes to the sad conclusion is something he simply cannot capture in his words or his drawings. He has to show it through his actions. Not exactly his strong suit. But he’s determined to do right by you. So, he devises a plan.

- Confessing to you - 

This boy plans the whole day down to a t, he has multiple back-up plans just in case his first one falls short.

Ranboo invites you over for lunch. Arriving at his place you notice how clean it is. He spent the last few days cleaning it top to bottom.

You spend a few minutes in the house chatting. You notice Ranboo is on edge almost immediately. Shoulders a pinch too tight, his smiles a little too wide and none of them reach his eyes.

You ask what you’re going to be having for lunch and he reveals a wicker basket from his kitchen. “A picnic!” Your heart warms, “I would’ve brought something if you’d told me beforehand.” He smiles at that, “Exactly. I even cooked without you, you should be proud.” 

He shuffles on his feet a little, wishing to be praised, “We’ll see how the food tastes first, maybe then I’ll tell you how proud I am.” You tease, moving to elbow him lightly. You notice the way his face flushes as you move into his space. His mother appears from upstairs, “Are you two leaving? I could drive you, y’know!” “No thanks mom!!” He is quick to grab your hand and practically drag you out of the house and away from his all knowing mom.

The bus ride is on the longer side and you find yourself feeling brave enough to scoot a little closer to Ranboo. “Hey, is it okay if I?” You gesture between your head and his shoulder, the cute, shocked expression he sends you causes you to grin. “Uh s-sure!” 

You softly press your head against his shoulder, “Thanks, pretty comfy shoulder you got here should’ve asked you to share it sooner.” You tease, nuzzling his shoulder lightly just for a reaction. And you get one alright, his skin goes such a lovely shade of red all the way up to the tips of his ears. You giggle softly, trying your best to hold it in and failing miserably.

You even manage to fall asleep despite your own heartbeat quickening at Ranboo’s closeness. You are tapped awake by him, “Hmm?” You rub one of your eyes knowingly appearing adorable and the way he looks at you makes it all worth it. “It’s our stop soon, we gotta get up.” 

You nod and lazily stand and he follows suit. Only for the bus to brake abruptly, promptly shoving you into his chest. He wraps his arms around you quickly to steady you whilst you desperately cling to the wicker basket, “You okay?” You both mumble to each other before laughing it off and nodding. “Oh crap.” Ranboo grabs your free hand and you both scramble to get to the front of the bus to hop off. Sparks fly up your arm at the extended contact, even as you jump off the bus.

Ranboo happily leads you to a spot he had picked out earlier in the month. A soft patch of grass below a large willow tree that now sways softly in the warm breeze. You set up your carefully packaged feast with haste now that your stomachs are grumbling.

Ranboo forcefully tries to make himself relax knowing you’ve probably noticed his tense state by now. But you choose not to push him on it, taking an educated guess on why he’s so stressed.

You are quick to compliment his cooking skills when he divvies out a freshly baked quiche.  Even though you know his mom for sure did most of the work. It’s the thought that counts. You hope that may snap him out of the stupor he seems to be in. However, no such luck.

“Hey Ranboo, do you want to talk about something?” Ranboo goes into full panic mode. He did not have a plan for you asking something like this. He thought you weren’t confrontational!! You watch as his expression changes rapidly. You look away, “You don’t have to tell me, it’s okay. I just thought you might want to-“ 

He takes one of your hands in his. Why is he doing this??? This isn’t part of the plan at all! “I…” His throat goes dry. All those hours obsessing over what he was going to say to you are sent out the window when he finally meets your eyes.

“I think I like you.” He hasn’t realised he’s even said it until its waaaaaay too late. Your eyes widen, you didn’t think he’d actually admit it to you. You squeeze his hand as you watch his eyes seem to lose focus, “I like you too.” He is silent for several long moments until he starts blinking rapidly, “Huh!?” The look of utter surprise on his face causes you to burst out laughing.

“Wait, wait, wait you’re serious?” He grabs your arm as a grin slowly starts to creep onto his face. “Sure am.” And as you meet his gaze you realise that his grin actually reached his eyes, for the first time in a long while. 

“So, you gonna kiss me now or what?” You tease as his face shines a dark red. “W-well I, uh-“ His stuttering only allows for you to sneak closer and press a firm kiss to his cheek. Somehow, he grows even redder and you sigh pleasantly. “My heart definitely made the right choice with you Ranboo.”

Meanwhile Ranboo is too busy freaking out over the fact that you weren’t even meant to find out he liked you until you were stargazing together later tonight. His plans are utterly ruined! But as you squeeze his hand again to bring his thoughts back into the present, he wonders that perhaps spontaneity isn’t such a bad thing sometimes.

~My ask box is always open if you’ve got any requests or just want to vent about the dreamsmp lore!~

[curlynerd]

You're Bacon Me Crazy Word Count: 2K Rating: T Summary: "I can like more than one kind of burger, you know!" Or, Dean comes out through complicated burger metaphors. Notes: humor, canon-adjacent, coming out, established Destiel, #pray4Sam

Also read on AO3!

"You're really having two burgers, Dean?" Sam asks in his most smug, most obnoxious "I’m eating kale for lunch" voice. Dean really hates that voice.

Dean straightens his back and spreads his hands out, like the two wrapped burgers, the extra large fries, and the soda with two straws are a majestic bounty. “I’m a growing boy, Sammy."

“Uh-huh,” Sam deadpans. He lifts the takeout lid of his salad and starts carefully drizzling the vinaigrette cup over his bed of leafy greens and grilled chicken. “And you’re definitely not going to bully Cas into splitting them with you? You know he doesn’t need to eat.”

Something tight and anxious curls in Dean’s chest. “No!” he blurts out, realizing a second too late that it’s normal for him to share his food with Cas. Just because he’s been doing it more now that he and Cas are finally together does not mean that it’s weird now.

In response to Dean’s defensiveness, Sam raises a self-righteous eyebrow in sync with his salad-laden fork. “Can he even really taste them? I thought he didn’t like food in angel mode.”

Dean swallows down a multitude of answers. He likes sharing the experience with Cas anyway. He thinks the way his face scrunches up at the molecules is cute. It makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside that an angel -- his angel -- is willing to put up with something so silly and mundane and human as taste-testing different burgers.

He really, really needs to tell Sam the truth about him and Cas. Hell, he’s been trying to for months! But every time the perfect opportunity presents itself, he turns into a fuckin’ coward.

And today definitely is another perfect moment. The conversation has naturally turned to Cas. They’re sitting at a picnic table at the park, with nobody around to overhear Dean spill his guts in the most agonizing and uncomfortable way possible. They’re working a case, so immediately after the conversation Dean can bury himself in research and hunting and not have to deal with Sam’s big, obnoxious “let’s make a huge deal out of this!” puppy dog eyes. And Cas isn’t even here right now to make things more awkward. He’s still checking out the victim at the coroner's office across the street.

Dean tries not to think about what a big baby he’s being by ignoring this golden opportunity. “He just tastes stuff different as an angel. He’s learning how to pick out the nuance.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “Because there’s so much nuance to ‘extra cheese’ or ‘hold the tomato.’”

“Oh like you’d know, Mr. Tofu Burger.”

“You’d eat a burger off the floor. Are you really trying to convince me you care about what kind of burger it is?”

Dean huffs and levels an indignant glare at his brother. “I absolutely have a favorite burger.”

“Then why’d you get two different kinds?”

"I can like more than one kind of burger, you know!"

Sam snorts. "That's just an excuse to eat more burgers." He spears a forkful of tomato and spinach with a smug little twinkle in his eye.

"It's so not," Dean insists. He gestures at the two wrapped foil rounds in front of him. “These are two unique burgers that both have their own delicious qualities.”

“Really?” Sam’s expression is so pompous Dean kind of wants to throw a french fry at it. Except that would be a waste of a perfectly good fry.

“Yes ‘really.’ Look--” Dean carefully unwraps his first burger. “This is a pickle burger. And not just any ol’ pickle burger. The best, most amazing, and -- dare I say it? -- sexiest pickle burger in the entire continental US.” He smirks as Sam rolls his eyes. “Now I can tell by that condescending look in your eye, you’re wondering, ‘What the hell is so special about a pickle burger? It’s just pickles!’ But that’s where you’re wrong.” Dean lifts the top bun and points down to the burger, looking almost gleeful at all its toppings. “Fried pickles, pickled red onions, relish…Sour and sweet and crunchy, the perfect compliment to a juicy, meaty burger. And one this big? You’ve gotta have a little something special to handle all this meat.” Sam tilts his head, his mouth twitching like Dean said something embarrassing. Was it waxing poetic about vegetables? Probably. Dean chooses to ignore it.

“Ya know,” he continues, “for the longest time I didn’t think I’d like a pickle burger. For years I’d be at diners and think, ‘...maybe? I dunno. Probably not for me.’” Dean pulls his mouth down into a thoughtful frown and bobs his head to mimic his past thoughts. “And then...I’m not sure, I just figured, why not at least try it? All those burgers I’ve had all over the country; I could at least give it a whirl. And it. Was. Awesome!” Dean gently places the bun back on his burger and gives it a little affectionate pat. “Now I can’t get enough of ‘em.”

Sam's expression does a complicated dance that Dean can't even begin to follow. But it suddenly clears into a look of dawning realization, followed quickly by horrified guilt, before it clamps down entirely.

Weird.

"Well...I can't fault someone for enjoying a good pickle burger," Sam says slowly. He doesn't meet Dean's eye, keeping his gaze down as he delicately stabs at his salad with his fork. He frowns at the cucumber slice he spears and carefully dislodges it from the prongs. "Especially if they really like, uh, pickles?" Sam cringes a little down at his greens. Dean can't blame him. It's a sad looking salad.

"Exactly!" Dean gestures down at the burger. "I'm a meat man and a pickle guy." Sam looks up toward the sky and then down toward the ground below with a sort of pleading desperation. "This is a great burger for me. And don't even get me started on the sauce--"

"Okay!" Sam's voice pitches up several octaves. Dean frowns at him, but before he can ask, Sam takes a deep breath and plasters a warm, understanding smile across his face. "You know what? You're right, Dean. After all this time. All those, uh...burgers. I'm glad you've figured out which one you like best."

"Well, not quite. I mean, this one…" Dean carefully unwraps the second burger. "Is there anything sexier than a breakfast burger?" He practically beams down at the golden-brown bun, the fringes of fried egg drooping over the side, crisp bacon peeking out from under the patty.

"I...I don't know?" Sam has the same terrified expression as when Dean drags him onto ramshackle roller coasters at crappy county fairs. God, he's such a baby about cholesterol.

“Yeah. C’mon, you know they’re great!” Dean says cavalierly, because he’s not going to miss a chance to gloat about the awesome food Sam misses out on with all his salads. “Bacon is, you know, bacon! It’s the best tasting thing in the world! Salty, greasy, crunchy…”

Sam’s brow furrows so deeply it’s like it’s mining for coal, his unfocused eyes searching the empty space between them like he’s trying to figure out the deep, dark mystery of bacon.

Dean rolls his eyes. Of course he wouldn’t understand. The dude eats low sodium turkey bacon. "I know you haven't had good, real bacon in ages--" Sam looks offended. Then confused. Then offended again. "--but trust me, man. It's awesome. When ya got bacon in your burger, it automatically makes the burger a hundred times better. Can’t get enough of it!” Sam groans like he's in pain.

Dean grins and keeps going. “And you’ve gotta admit, a fried egg is a thing of beauty. Give me a good silky, drippy egg all over my burger and I’m a happy guy.” Sam’s nose scrunches up into abject horror. “You get that gorgeous, soft yolk oozing everywhere...It’s creamy and delicious and unctuous and--”

“Dean!” Sam shrieks. He lets his fork fall into his bowl and covers his face with both his hands. His voice is muffled, but it’s definitely a tormented whine. “I know this is a tough topic for you, but can you please just say you’re bi and never use words like ‘unctuous’ again? I’m begging you!”

Dean freezes. “Wh-What?” Did Sam really--? He--? How does he know?!

Sam pops up from his elbows, dragging both hands through his hair as he frees his face from hiding. “I get it, dude. Okay? I get it. I mean...I don’t get it.” He glances down at the two burgers with a perturbed look and holds up his hands in surrender. “But I get it.”

Dean stares at him. “Get what?” he demands. His heart is pounding fast. Bi. Sam knows he’s bi. When did he figure it out?! Why’s he bringing it up now?!

Sam fixes him with a flat look. “The burgers? The...God...bacon sex metaphor? The pickle guy thing? I get it. Please. Please stop talking about eggs like that. I’ll never eat an omelette again!”

Sex metaphors? Pickle guy?! Dean takes a moment to think and...yeah. Yup. He really did say “I’m a pickle guy,” out loud. Wow.

Maybe he should just...roll with it?

Because otherwise Sam is definitely going to mock him for that for the rest of his life, and honestly, coming out is the much better option.

“You got me,” Dean says with a small laugh. He spreads his arms out with a bit of a flourish, and it’s a relief to say it. It feels good. “What can I say? I like all kinds of burgers. And hotdogs. Tacos. Kielbasa...”

“Please stop,” Sam groans, rubbing at his eyes with his hand.

Oh yeah, this is definitely the better option. Dean fell ass-backwards into a conversation he’s been dreading for months, and the only person feeling awkward and miserable here is Sam!

Really it’s a win-win.

Dean grins from ear to ear as he relishes Sam’s mortification. “Hey now, I thought you were supportive! What happened to ‘I’m happy for you and your burgers?’”

“I am happy for you, I just wish this wasn’t happening over lunch…” Sam whines as he drops his hands on the table.

“What’s Sam happy about?” Cas asks, startling the both of them by approaching their picnic table. His eyes are earnest and sincerely curious, which only causes Sam to send a miserable, pleading look his way while shaking his head.

“Sam thinks pickles are gay,” Dean says to Cas with the same sort of smug glee of the teacher’s pet tattling about note passing in class.

Cas scrunches his face in confusion as he sits down beside Dean. “Sam, that’s...nonsensical.”

“That’s what I said!” Dean lies, because the way Sam’s eyebrow is twitching right now is too damn funny. “Wait til you hear what he thinks about bacon.”

Sam drops his face into his hands again. “This is the worst day of my life,” he groans as he massages his temples with his fingers.

Cas furrows his brow at him. “You’ve been to Hell.”

“And I’m still there, apparently!” Sam flings his hand up in exasperation. Cas quietly takes a sip of Dean’s drink, which for some reason just pisses Sam off more.

“You know, you could have just been normal about this. No weird, gross food metaphors. Just--” Sam drops his voice several octaves and bobs his head in a deliberately annoying parody of Dean. “--‘Hey Sam, by the way, I’m bi and totally in love with Cas, no big deal,’ or whatever.”

Dean goes still while Cas tilts his head at the two of them.. “Who says I’m in love with Cas?” Wait. Is that obvious too? Shit, well, looks like he gets to rip two bandaids off today. Thank God for the hilarious panic on Sam's face, because otherwise Dean would be the one freaking out here.

Sam’s eyes go huge, all color draining out of his face. “Oh shit. I didn’t-- I’m sorry, I--”

Dean can only manage to maintain the ruse for a few seconds before he bursts out laughing. “Nah, I’m just messing with you. Where have you been, man? Cas and I have been together for ages. I thought you were the smart one!”

Sam looks like he wants to leap across the picnic table and strangle Dean.

With a glare so sour it could peel paint, Sam snatches Dean’s extra large order of french fries and storms off toward the car to sulk. About three paces away, he stops, turns around, and levels a stern finger at Dean alongside his scowl. “For the record. I’m proud of you. And I’m honored you chose to trust me with this information,” he hisses in a frustrated huff before he spins on his heel and marches away.

Dean wipes a tear from his eye, still chuckling under his breath. Cas stares after Sam in concern.

“Why is he so mad?”

Dean shrugs off the question as he slides the pickle burger in front of Cas and nudges him with his elbow to try it. “Hell if I know. If you ask me, dude needs to have a burger every once in awhile.”