#absolutely accurate by the way
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 4: Deranged Bedfellows
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.5)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mdzs au#lan wangji#nie huaisang#Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU#This is the *first* part of what was supposed to be a much longer comic (LWJ's morning routine in full).#I'll finish the remaining part as a reblog to this post! I just think this is the funnier chunk.#Lan Wangji absolutely is the kind of person who has a perfect internal alarm clock for when it is time to get up.#He already has a dedicated sleep schedule. He is accurate within 10 seconds of 5am every day.#I think the Jiang disciples are most likely used to waking up around 6:00-7:00am#But the allure of having a guaranteed time keeper getting you up in the morning is worth the earlier hour.#I imagine they started outside lwj's door and slowly moved closer as the weeks went on.#Now LWJ has to cope with being way too warm in the night from all the extra body heat.#LWJ is not a fan of this but they scamper off immediately after he wakes up and they at least show initiative to follow routine.#NHS joins in only because he is a chronically heavy sleeper and needs this level of intervention to get up early.#His boldness would be a death sentence in the cloud recesses but here? Whole new game.#Yungmeng Jiang isn't a lawless land. It's just a land with different laws.#And one of those laws is to forcefully domesticate the catboy coded Lan boy through any means necessary.#Completely different tangent: I drew the thumbnail for this before I did comic 134. I then realized they had the same visual gag.#So I had to space this one out so it didn't seem like I repeated the waking up joke. That's my secret and all of you have to keep it.#And in my land the law is that snitches get itches (telepathically transfers hives onto your body)
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felt like painting tonight. so! painted a maiasaura herd because they're my favorites
maiasaura were some of the first dinosaurs we found evidence of caring for their young- skeletons frequently found next to eggs and nests. they're not really all that popular but they're forever my favorite. i love you maiasaura
#and their name means good mother also!#i just think they're neat#my phone crashed like 10 times while doing this by the way it was only like an hour of drawing but absolute hell#this drawing may not be very accurate either. but i had fun#umm#maiasaura#paleoart#paleoblr#okay yay!! goodbye#lumidraws
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Basically MovieMusical!Glinda during No One Mourns The Wicked
Glinda, trying her best to get the fuck out of here: 🎶She diiiieeeeddd aaaallooooonneee🎶
Munchkins with the sorry excuse of an Elphaba wood statue: Hey! Hey Glinda! 😃
Glinda: 🎶She dieeeddd al-🎶 AH WHAT THE FU- *clears throat to sunshine voice* Uhhh what is that?
Munchkin 1: It's the Wicked Witch Of The West! 😃
Munchkin 2: We want to really celebrate that she's gone! 😃
Glinda, internally: They did my girl dirty what the fuck
Glinda: ...I see...
Munchkin 3: So we were hoping you can burn this! 😃
Glinda:
Glinda:
Glinda: You want me to what now?
Munchkin 1, handing Glinda the torch: Yeah! Cause you're good! And goodness knows no one mourns the wicked! 😃
Glinda, holding the torch:
Glinda, internally: Oh I'm going to hell.
Glinda: *voice crack* Of course.
Glinda, internally: This is an abomination of a statue so it isn't so insane for me to burn their very wrong horrid perception of Elphie but fuck I feel like burning myself with it.
Glinda, internally while tossing the torch: Fuck fuck fuck fuck
Munchkins: 🎶NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED-🎶
Glinda, who literally just wanted to go the fuck home and cry in the darkest, farthest corner of her room for at least two hours:
Glinda: Ahhh I hate myself.
#could be seen as either platonic or romantic#personally I like romantic#but either way this is accurate#wicked movie#wicked#wicked 2024#glinda#galinda upland#elphaba#elphaba thropp#elphaba the wicked witch#glinda the good witch#elphaba x glinda#glinda x elphaba#gelphie#OH FUCK ME WHY DID I FORGET TO TAG THIS#Inspired by Nicque Marina on TikTok#I absolutely love this queen#Thanks to the commenter who pointed it out#I almost forgot cause I was doing this post mid class
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yahoo i wanted to try out a sketchier lineart and coloring for this one
thank you to @lulu24784, @sp-growingpains, @yaoiepisode, @justakennyoshi, @mantequillamcwhoremick, @buttl0rd and @moergue for sending ur requests !!!
#shroomer's art !#shroomer's archives: south park#I wanted to try and go for a cherub effect with cartman#idk if I succeeded#leslie was so fun to draw!!! ive had this design in mind for her for so long where her clothes are kind of retro#where despite being so seamless as a human there’s still aspects about her that are off#like how she’s wearing clothes and her hair in a way that isn’t period accurate/modern#and I made her eyebrows barely even visible to give that uncanny valley effect to her#oh and Henrietta… I always love drawing plus sized bodies whenever I do figure drawing so this was an absolute treat#and everyone else was so much fun to draw too!!#esp Shelley and Wendy#south park#south park fanart#sp fanart#stan marsh#leslie meyers#clyde donovan#henrietta biggle#shelley marsh#wendy testaburger#eric cartman#six fanarts
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I didn't see anyone talking about this, but it's interesting how many times Stolas writes the word "breath".
I mean, he's writing, he's trying to cope and express himself through his art and he's not succeeding. at least not in the way he would like, I believe. after all, his head can't focus, he's worrying about Octavia.
I don't think this is just an artistic choice, I think the number of times he repeats the word "breath" says a lot about the inner turmoil he's going through at the moment. the story is about him and Blitz, after all.
#I really like it when they put these little details#I mean I can be absolutely tripping but I don't think so#I find the way Stolas is acting very accurate with reality#I feel like they're putting a lot of care into representing his mental struggles#helluva boss#helluva boss stolas#helluva boss sinsmas#animation brain rotting#helluva boss brain rotting
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Finally got a Venus's core doll! Got curious, and put her in Music Festival Venus's shirt, and aside from the arms being tight, it fits shockingly well.
#monster high#monster high dolls#monster high g3#venus mcflytrap#i really can't get over how pretty she is#dare i say...i dont hate chewlian as much as i originally did#tho i still think ''cat pretends to be a plant'' is dumb and they should just make him a cat plant the same way venus is a plant person#my phone absolutely hates her colors the raw photo looks horrendous#i wondered why her skin tone looks different in different photos and now i see why#i adjusted it to look as accurate to irl as possible but its still a bit off#im so hyped for her fearbook doll#if her ss5 doll goes on sale i might buy it to reroot with curly hair#id in alt
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Thinking about Ji.
Thinking about how he’s the last surviving member of his tribe.
Thinking about how any language or dialect his tribe may have had, is lost forever. Ji’s mind is not meant to remember everything. They forget, and the longer they live, the less they remember their own culture.
He loses the dances his people used to perform. They can’t recall the sound of the music they played. Clothing, food, rituals, even the kind of incense they burned. All of it is gone.
Ji hates that it was him who got the curse of immortality, but I feel like part of that is because he isn’t anything special. It could have been anyone— a poet, a scholar, someone who could better represent the culture that inevitably eroded away with time. Someone who could keep their people alive in more than a literal sense.
But instead, it’s Ji. Unambitious, unremarkable Ji whose only virtue is their immortality. Ji, who can’t play an instrument when they find an old hymn from their tribe, still intact. Ji, who can’t even remember the feeling of their own language in their mouth.
The hollow pit that forms when you forget something that should never be forgotten.
#nine sols#nine sols ji#being absolutely insane about Ji rn sorry guys#the implications of the fact that they’re likely the only ancient kunlun tribe solarian alive#the fact that there’s nobody to keep his language fresh in his mind#languages and cultural practices can be lost if you don’t practice them#and Ji has nobody to practice them with#anything he may still remember… can he really be sure that he’s recalling it correctly?#time erodes everything#they can never be sure that their memory is accurate#was this really the incense they used all those centuries ago?#is this the right way to play this piece of music?#is this how this word was pronounced in his dialect?#he can never ever be sure#sorry. thinking
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Thinking about all the ways you can be intimate with Price that doesn’t involve having sex
One thing about Price is that he’s known for his love for hats. But very few people know the reason as to why he wears them in the first place.
Truth be told, more often than not, he will let his hair grow past the length that’s stated in haircut regulations. Curls will start forming at the back of his neck , unruly strands will stick to his temple as he sweats and if it’s a particularly windy day, wisps of hair will fall into his eyes and obscure his vision. So to cover up the fact that he’s clearly breaking regulations and to keep his hair in check, he’ll wear a hat on his head.
He always tells himself he’ll cut it short. Hell, he even goes out his way to take down the box of clippers from the shelf where they’ve been collecting dust for God knows how long. But every time he intends to cut it something comes up and he opts for wearing a hat instead.
However this time around, it’s a different story since inspection week is coming up and you’re the first to notice how long his hair has been getting lately.
As you lean in for a kiss, you feel the unruly strands of hair wrap around your fingers tips. You smile as you twirl them in your grasp, lips still kissing Price’s.
He pulls away, mirroring the smile on your face as he says “what are you smiling about?”
“Your hair’s been getting so long lately” you say as you run a hand through his hair, tugging lightly at the long strands as if to empathize your point.
His brows furrow, before a look of realization crosses his face “I guess it has, hasn’t it? I’ve been meaning to cut it, just haven’t gotten around to doing it,”
You nod as you continue to play with the hair at the back of his head, already aware of the box of clippers that’s been collecting dust on his desk “when’s inspection now again?”
“Next week. Cut it for me?”
The bathroom connected to his room is rather small, barely fits two people but you make it work as you sit down on the toilet seat while he sits down on the floor.
He sits so close you get a whiff of his cologne. The scent’s a familiar one, one you know not only by smell but also by name. It’s a cologne you’d spontaneously bought one day and had managed to use once or twice before it somehow ended up in Price’s hands. Now it’s a scent solely associated with him.
You can also smell the cigars he smokes. The scent is sickly sweet but also earthy- reminds you of mahogany much like the mahogany curls he's sporting at the moment.
You gently grab onto his shoulder, forcing him to shuffle closer. He’s now perfectly slotted between your legs, as you go to inspect his hair.
“Any special request ?” You ask as you card your fingers through his hair, carefully inspecting the length. The man lets out an appreciative sound at your gently touch before he shakes his head in response to your question.
“Just want it short?” You ask again, fingers still carding through his hair.
“Yes, please”
“What if I mess up ?” You joke as you continue to inspect the length.
“Don’t really care, I’ll wear a hat either way” he shrugs, and flashes you a smile over his shoulder.
“Alright” you say, before you reach down and gently grab onto the edge of his shirt “May I?” You ask, lips brushing his ear as you lean down to ask for permission.
He shivers at your touch, but nods his head at your question.
You gently pull the shirt off of him, leaving him in just the undershirt that he’s wearing. The sudden exposure to the chilly bathroom air has goosebumps raising on his skin and your hands quickly find his arms as you attempt to warm him up.
“Sorry” you say as you plant a kiss on his shoulder. He just smiles and shakes his head “it’s okay, not your fault yeah?”
You grab onto the box where his clippers lay and take out the one you needed for his hair. You quickly adjust the settings on it before bringing it to his head.
As you turn on the machine you feel the familiar buzz coursing through your fingertips. You try not to let your nerves get the best of you as you get ready to cut his hair for him. However, sweat still trickles down your spine, the clippers almost fall out of your hand and you have to take a deep breath and apologize beforehand in case this doesn’t go as planned.
You do the first swipe with the clipper and watch as strands of hair fall to his bare shoulders. You quickly take the brush that came with the kit and gently brush the hair away from his skin. He hums in content as he relaxes into your embrace
“Good?”
He nods with a giggle “tickles”
You chuckle at that as you continue to cut his hair, tufts of it steadily falling to the floor and sprinkling across his shoulder. You even see the loose strands of hair sprinkling onto the undershirt that he’s wearing. However Price doesn’t seem to mind it, seemingly relaxed as ever.
Nothing can be heard except for the steady buzz coming from the machine, along with the soft noises Price will give in response when you ask him something. He’s long given up on talking, mind and body too relaxed to bother with it.
Your hands are gentle as ever as they grab onto his chin, cheeks and temples, turning his head in whichever direction is needed at the moment. His eyes, although closed, flutter at the touch, as he chuckles at the ticklish feeling that comes from your hands.
However you still check up on him to make sure that you aren’t hurting him.
“Am I hurting you?” You ask as you bring the clipper a bit closer to his ears. “Is this okay” You ask again when you fear you’re holding too tightly onto him. You even drop a “you tell me if I’m doing anything to hurt you yeah?” when you notice the flush on his skin.
Sometimes Price responds with a hum, sometimes with a nod and sometimes with the shake of his head (You almost have the mind to scold him for his careless movements but you allow him to do so anyway)He even chuckles at the last sentence as if saying not you, never you and that’s all the reassurance you need to continue cutting his hair for him.
At some point he does talk - asks if he can go for a smoke and of course you allow him to do so. If you smoke he’ll let you take a couple of puffs of his cigar. However he’ll use this as an excuse to steal a kiss since every time you lean in to put the cigar between your lips, he’ll place a kiss on your lips. If you don’t smoke he’ll have you light his cigar for him. He’ll playfully pulls you closer by your wrist, as you go to light his cigar for him, callused thumb mindlessly stroking it while you light it for him.
He stays in your embrace while smoking his cigar, enjoying your presence and your gentle touch.
From the bathroom window you can see that the sun is starting to set and the clouds of smoke that whirl around in the air become more prominent.
Price hooks his arm around your leg and mindlessly drags his hand along your thigh while he smokes his cigar.
“Thank you for doing this for me, love” he says and despite the clouds of smoke that swirl around in the air, you can still see the grateful smile on his face.
“No need to thank me ” you chuckle as you continue to cut his hair for him.
Once it’s done, you hand him a small mirror so that he can take a look at his hair. He takes a brief look in the mirror before he turns to you with a big smile on his face.
“It looks great,”
Truth be told he barely looked at his hair, didn’t see the crooked line or the uneven patches around his head (not that he would mind if he were to notice it anyway). All he saw in that very moment was your reflection in the mirror, the way you nervously chewed your lip, and the hopeful look in your eyes as you waited for him to comment on his new haircut.
Once it’s inspection day you’re back in that very same bathroom with him. He’s looking at himself in the mirror while you’re standing behind him with a comb in hand. His hair is still short and will surely pass inspection but you still want to comb and style it for him, claiming he needs to look professional and well groomed, seeing as he’s the captain.
“There, all done” you say with a smile on your face, finally feeling satisfied with the look of his hair. All of sudden he turns around, hands gently grabbing onto your hips before he pulls you closer to him. You’re still looking at his hair, searching for any imperfections that need to be corrected while he’s watching you with an adoring gaze. Once you spot a strand out of place, you lick the pad of your thumb before gently slicking it back with the rest of his hair.
You go to pull your hand away but before you can do so he gently wraps his hand around your wrist and brings your hand closer to his lips before he kisses it.
“Thank you again, love”
#captain John price#captain John price x reader#captain John price x male reader#John price#John price x reader#John price x male reader#Alec writes#happy pride month to my absolute favorite way of being close with another man#I apologize for any mistakes#idk man I make this so hard for me by using this writing style#it’s like future and past and present tense all at once I hate it djdjdj#anyway#I hope it’s okay#army shabang is probes not accurate but none of this is real so let’s kiss#my goal here was to showcase how such a simple act can be so intimate I hope i managed to do so#since this is sort of a love language to me#and first fluff on here#wooo#weird to say that since I have always written fluff fics believe it or not
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Year in Review - 2024
Thanks for hanging around for another year! This really was the year of the dnd and P:WotR obsession, and I'm glad you guys liked my renders and edits! DnD and my OCs mean the world to me and have truly been what's keeping me going, and nothing in the entire world makes me happier than seeing people leave nice comments and tags on my edits of them.
January / February / March April / May / June July / August / September October / November / December
#ts4#the sims 4#my year in review#Rook making it on here 4 times (plus Zara) and then Areelu being on here twice is absolutely accurate lmao. I spent way too time thinking#about these two. And also Carrionnnnnn. My 2nd favorite boy. (Rook being number 1 of course.)
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Shen Wei’s micro-expressions when he’s lying.
#the way he embodies shen wei being the world’s worst liar is not only book accurate but also absolutely hilarious#look at him in the second gif blinking rapidly and smirking like heh dunno why you think I’m sus I’m just a humble old Professor man heh#please stand by for the queue#zhu yilong#朱一龙#朱一龍#주일룡#guardian#guardian 镇魂#沈巍#my gifs
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Fluent Freshman - Part 19
PREVIOUS
There’s a couple things about FF that might be good to know at this point.
1. There are few things in the world he hates doing more than asking for clarification or admitting he doesn’t understand / know something. The thought of going up to someone and admitting that he hasn’t perfectly comprehended the situation upon the first explanation is something makes his stomach twist like he’d just eaten Mango-Habanero ice cream.
He has figured out his own math theorems in the pursuit of not having to ask the math teacher to explain he doesn’t understand. He got lost in an Ikea once for over 6 grueling hours where he considered making a home there and living among the display rooms until his grandma grabbed him by the ear and dragged him to safety (the food court) and let him regain his strength (eat Swedish meatballs). He, to this day, is not sure about one of his foreign language friend’s names (how embarrassing he just keeps waiting for someone else to say it but they go by some insane nickname).
So he has become a master of piecing shit together on his own. He sometimes gets it wrong (Andrew, god how embarrassing) but for the most part 8 times out of 10 he can get to the right answer if he just has a couple pieces to work with. No one had ever actually explained to him how Exy works and he was too embarrassed to ask after the third week of practice in middle school so he just pieced together what he was and was not allowed to do through the art of trial and error. He’s even mostly pieced out the rules for the other positions.
So with the information he has gotten through people being bound and determined to talk in foreign languages in front of him he has an idea about the tenuous situation some of the older Foxes find themselves in.
He’s heard Kevin Day and Jean Moreau talk in French.
He’s heard that the anxiety in both of their voices as they talked about their futures and owing 80% of their salaries to the ‘Moriyamas’ and how nervous they were about getting on professional teams or else they’d be killed.
Captain Neil and Andrew are not always using Russian to talk dirty.
He’s heard Andrew soothe Captain Neil’s worries about playing for a professional team. He’s heard Captain Neil mention that at least ‘Ichirou’ would likely just kill him and not make a game out of it like his father did.
Organized Crime might have more to do with Exy than FF had originally thought.
(He had thought it. Plenty of times he had thought it but his Gran had warned him that he was overthinking things. That he wasn’t playing a sport invented by the Mafia. That he had caffeinated coffee instead of decaf. “It’s going to be okay sweetie. Just take a deep breath.”)
This leads into the second thing you should know at this point.
2. Before he had signed with Wymack he had known the broad strokes of Captain Neil’s life. There had been a lot of news articles about it and Gran (bless her) loved trashy gossip magazines.
After he had signed with the Foxes he had done a bit of a deep dive on as many of their controversies as he could find. There’d been things from brawls on the court (worrying), player overdoses (concerning), a straight up MURDER (Oh god), and the very public breaking of the King of Exy’s arm resulting in his suicide (Warranted, that wacko was going to take off Captain Neil’s HEAD.)
But the thing that had made him actually a little bit, dare he admit, excited to go to Palmetto was the fact that Captain Neil was there.
For someone who froze for almost a decade, who just took it and didn’t have the balls to even react? Neil Josten is an inspiration.
This is someone who got away, who lived a life completely unlike FF’s, someone who knew how to run and more impressively someone who learned how to FIGHT. Captain Neil was being hunted but he still ripped people to shreds in interviews. Captain Neil was probably more scared of the Butcher than FF had been of anything in his entire life but Captain Neil was way braver than FF could ever hope to be.
Captain Neil was taken and tortured but he still fought. FF had seen the scars and Captain Neil is right to wear them proudly (though based on some conversations he has unfortunately overheard he is sure Andrew may have a role in Neil’s positive feelings about them).
FF had thought that he was being lead to his death down in a basement of a club (Don’t cringe. Don’t cringe. Don’t cringe. Don’t-) and he just trailed right behind the two of them without even an illusion of a fight.
Neil Abram Josten was a bit of a personal hero.
He’s proud to call him Captain Neil. He wishes Andrew hadn’t been there when Greg had mentioned wanting autographs because FF wants an autograph from Captain Neil but now Andrew has probably mentioned it to Neil.
Long story short, FF had looked into a lot of details on Captain Neil’s case.
Including two of the Butcher’s top men who were still on the loose.
Romero Malcolm and Jackson Plank.
He keeps his presence low but no matter how many times he blinks the man grumbling in Italian next to him continues to be Romero Malcolm.
Moreover Romero Malcolm continues to grumble about the fact that he is having a hard time finding ‘Nathaniel’ and that he’ll have to grab one of ‘The Wesninski brat’s friends’ to draw him out.
FF is a recently confirmed friend of Captain Neil.
FF who is standing next to this man, with his dick out, and trying to remain as invisible as possible.
After two shakes (Yes he was watching but only because he had to! He wonders briefly if he goes to the FBI if they would accept a description of Romero Malcolm’s penis for the wanted poster? Probably not but it is BURNED into his retinas.)
He watches as Romero tucks, zips, and then bypasses the sink entirely.
FF shivers at how unhygienic that is. Who RAISED him?
The door shuts and FF needs to get out of here ASAP but his hands are shaking with the sudden adrenaline of ’One of the FBI’s Most Wanted just took a piss next to me and is looking for me friend’. He pulls his phone from his pocket and ducks into one of the stalls. Even if there’s no door it’ll at least FEEL a little safer, a little more private. He needs to warn Neil, Warn Andrew, and warn-
The door to the bathroom SLAMS open and music blares in (palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy-) and his phone slips out of his hands and into the toilet. There are footsteps coming towards him and FF digs deep.
He’s in ultra stealth mode. He is the wall behind the wallpaper. Mantis shrimp can only dream of the color he becomes, the United States military have the CIA on the look out for him because he’s fallen off all conventional forms of radar and tracking.
He is a bargain fruit platter on a dessert table at a kid’s birthday party.
He is ULTRA stealth.
Romero’s gaze glides over him.
Then the man leaves (STILL DID NOT WASH HIS HANDS).
His heart is hammering in his chest but he manages to reach down and grab his phone. Well, Coach Wymack had gotten the extended warranty at least. (“Do you know what these fuckers do to phones? Josten crushed his last year in a fight with the Baseball team captain.”)
His phone’s extended dip into the toilet water had not done it any favors in working properly.
Well fuck.
He wipes his phone down the best he can. He wipes his phone down with some toilet paper before cramming it into his pocket (Sorry Nicky, he’ll wash the toilet water pants if they survive).
He sees a flyer on the wall of the bathroom and starts to think of a plan.
He rushes out of the bathroom (he still washes his hands because he will not have something in common with a man on the FBI’s most wanted list and he just dipped his hand into a CLUB TOILET) and clocks Nicky’s wild arm movements and WORSE clocks Romero just 10 clubbers away.
He sees Romero’s eyes lock onto Nicky and a smile that terrifies him.
He’s out of Ultra Stealth Mode even if every atom in his body wants to run.
He is so stressed and panicked that he has gone beyond his body’s ability to process that so all that is left is determination. He’s got a head full of a half-baked plan, a hand going to his pocket, a second hand on the only ‘weapon’ he has on him, and a stomach full of acid.
He’s pulling his phone out of his pocket before he can really let himself think about it and walking up next to where Romero is standing. He holds his toilet water phone up to his ear and does the one weird social anxiety thing that he had never done before.
He pretends to be on a phone call.
“Hey Captain Neil,” he says and in the corner of his eye he can see Romero’s gaze shift from Nicky (surrounded by an adoring public, covered in sweat and therefore difficult to grab - a difficult target) to himself (alone, shorter, and probably looking like he’s about to pass out). “Yeah I think I’m going to take a break outside after I grab quick drink and then a water at the bar.” He says because he has to be the easier target and he has to go to the bar. “Yeah, yeah, okay I’ll mention it to that bartender guy.” He says and pretends to hang up.
He turns and he walks towards the bar and feels his pulse in his throat go to the beat of the music (success is my only motherfucking option, failure’s not).
He only knows about the alley because in the car ride to Sweetie’s Nicky had mentioned that he wouldn’t let FF’s first time be out there. He had been embarrassed but it was the only way he knew to get Romero out of the club and away from where he could hurt Captain Neil or anyone else in the pursuit of that.
He spots the bartender who had gotten the drinks for their table and his mind completely blanks on the name but the bartender sees him and smiles. “Oh you’re Neil and Andrew’s new friend! What can I help you with? I thought you were-“
“Hi, yes I am Captain Neil and Andrew’s friend.” He says a little loudly because he can feel Romero behind him and he does NOT want the man to know anything about where Captain Neil was.
“Captain Neil? Oh wow that’s adorable.” The man gushes. “What can I help you with? I won’t ask for ID for one of their friends.” He winks.
“I’d like to order the uh…” he tries to remember the exact drink name from the flyer, “…the deluxe chocolate martini?” He asks and knows he got it right when the bartender’s expression shifts ever so slightly.
“Oh yeah, how do Andrew and Neil feel about that?” He asks and oh great a coded conversation. It’s nice to actually be having a real one of these for once instead of just perceiving normal conversations to have hidden meanings.
“They don’t know. They probably prefer that I order it instead of Nicky or Aaron.” He lets his eyes dart to the wide where he believes Romero is watching him.
“I don’t know if that’s true.” The bartender says, “Nicky knows how to handle a drink and Aaron’s not a lightweight either.” He adds.
FF struggles to find a coded way to say ‘It’s not that someone’s hitting on me too hard like the flyer mentioned. It’s that there’s a mafia hitman in your club.’
Finally after a moment, “It’s not the usual kind of drink they get.” He tries and the bartender looks confused by the statement, dammit. He struggles to find a different way to say it before the bartender smiles.
“Y’know you’re really cute.” He reaches under the bar top and grabs a piece of paper and a pen. “How about you write down your number for me cutie? We can meet up sometime.” He says. “I’ll get started on that chocolate martini for you.” He says.
HE COULD KISS THIS MAN.
“I’d like that.” He says.
He writes out a quick message on the small note paper.
‘Armed. After Neil. Looked at Nicky. I’m going to the back alley. Phone is dead.’
The bartender comes back and looks at his note. “We’re out of chocolate martini mix, can I get you something-“ He hopes the club lighting obscures how pale the man got, “something else?” He asks and FF can SEE his pulse.
“Can I just get some water then?” He asks.
The bartender nods and pulls up his phone and hopefully is dialing the police and hands FF a water. His hand grabs hold of FF’s “You don’t need to go out into the alley. You could hang in the backroom with me?” He offers.
There really are some kind people in the world.
“I think it’s better if I’m not in here for a bit.” He says back and honestly he needs this kindness and he has a spare bit of courage, “What’s your name by the way? Sorry I missed it.” He says.
The bartender swallows, “It’s Roland.” He says.
“Thanks Roland.” He twists the cap off of the water bottle and takes a sip.
He turns and pretends not to notice how Romero is trying to be inconspicuous pretending to be on his phone.
He makes his way over to the alley door and notices that Romero is tracking his movements but is not following him like he did to the bar.
His heart is pounding and he can’t BELIEVE he’s doing this. He wants to run, wants to hide somewhere, wants to become imperceptible but…but…
He opens the door to the alley as the bass of the remixed song finishes.
(You can do anything you set your mind to, man)
He lets the door slam behind him and he is alone in the alley.
He was not expecting a van to come to a screeching halt in front of the entrance and for a different face to appear climbing out of the car.
Jackson Plank.
FF looks at the ugly smile on the man as he walks towards him with a knife in hand.
Okay now what genius?
MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU
NEXT
5/26/23: EDITED. Can’t believe I forgot to put the Captain in front of Neil’s name on the meme. I’m blaming the accidental early awakening.
Per your requests:
@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lillyndra @themugglemudperson @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo @next-level-mess @youreonlylow @interstellarfig @notprocrastinatingatalltoday @percyjacksonfan3 @queenofcrazy27 @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares @spencellio @adinthedarkroom @harpymoth @sufferingjustalilbit @anxietymoss @oddgreyhound @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken @ken22789 @atiredvampire @isoldescorner @not--a--pipedream @azure-wing @bushbees @roonilwazlib-main @crumplelush @foldedaces-paperbirds @thesenseinnonsense @let-tyrants-fear @ketchupfriesandallthingsnice @legowerewolf @deadlydodos @but-we-respect-his-craft @cariniqe @zanypersonapricotbiscuit
The requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I promise I just missed you.
As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?
Lillyndra it worked this time!!!
#Fluent Freshman AU#Is it a songfic chapter if it's only 3 lines? Experts aren't sure#Did I listen to lose yourself a lot while writing this chapter? Perhaps#If Nora mentioned something about Jackson or Romero in her extras I did not read it#Also gonna be honest here and state that I forgot the likely year that AFTG happened in and this is happening in 2010#So I guess this AU also involves a slight time shift#Andrew and Neil may have gotten lost in one another's eyes a bit down in the speakeasy#Really they're just being polite to get all of their PDA out of the way while FF is taking what might be the piss of a lifetime.#(They have no idea how accurate that might be)#Andrew is all set to kiss one of his favorite of Neil's freckles (yes he has ordered them from favorite to lesser favorite)#Then his phone goes off#He looks and it's Roland#Andrew: WTF is Roland trying to call me?#Nicky is busy being the Dancing Queen. If someone plays ABBA he will absolutely scream rn#I had considered a whole sequence of FF trying to get Nicky and Aaron to the safety of the backroom in Eden's#And Nicky just keeps reappearing on the dancefloor while FF is looking for Aaron#I was gonna use that simpsons meme where Moe throws out Barney and then Barney is just right back in the bar#But it got a little too crazy#But just know in this AU Nicky is canonically an excellent escape artist#Maybe Erik went through a bit of a magician phase and Nicky was DELIGHTED to be asked to be his assistant#Maybe that's how they got together#The inherent ROMANCE of magician and assistant#I don't remember if they ever really said in the books or nora's content#If I'm rambling because I forgot to shut off my alarm (Memorial Day 4-day weekend baby)#The fate of FF's phone may have been caused by some slight anger towards my own#RIP FF's Wymack phone (July 2010 - November 2010)#AFTG#AFTG AU#Andreil#FF - Pt.19
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ACOI as vines lmao
made this instead of doing my final project 💀
#submission#a crown of ink#acoi memes#IT’S THE WAY I SCREAMED BESTIE#I BENT IN HALF IN MY BED AT EACH ONE THESE ARE SO FUNNY AND ACCURATE OMG#acoi#viktor x reader#this is absolutely everything#hate tyler week
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Am I crazy or is there really an ever so slight feminine vibe to Kai's design????
It's the long hair and eyeshadow. And lipstick. 💅
He's gorgeous.
#like he's still entirely super hypermasculine#but the long hair and eye shadow just completes his design in such a nice way 👌🥺#I'm not normal about him I can't lie anymore I am absolutely bizzare about this guy#kung fu panda#general kai#kai#kfp3#kai the collector#kfp#kung fu panda 3#the eyelashes are there because it looks right and makes him accurate to bovines#absolutely grotesque about him#my hubband
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Honestly would absolutely love it if the Percy Jackson show incorporated some of the songs from the Percy Jackson Musical into their instrumentals. Imagine how awesome that'd be.
#if they can use a cover of riptide surely they can use a few notes or instrumentals from the actual Percy Jackson Musical#I also heard that one of the main people behind the musical score from the musical was recruited for the show so I'm hoping!#like how cool would it be to hear 'we're lost in the woods somewhere in New Jersey' when they actually ARE lost in the woods in the tv show#wouldn't that be a nice way to pay hommage to the musical???#which for so many fans was the only 'book accurate' adaptation we had for the longest time?#not to mention of course that the songs alone are absolute BANGERS!!!!!#fingers crossed 🤞#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson musical#percy jackson tv show#percy jackson trailer#music#disney+
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I'm reading an Aubrey-Maturin book again (Post Captain), and after having watched the Hornblower TV series, I think I have a new appreciation for Patrick O’Brian's choice to give the patriotic Royal Navy himbo main character a best friend who’s an ex-member of the United Irishmen. Is it the most historically likely thing? Probably not, but man, nothing makes me appreciate a non-imperial perspective in a work of fiction like experiencing a similar story that didn't have one.
#the way Hornblower (character and series) absolutely do not examine the implications of empire at all#especially with regards to the Haitians and the Irish#the lack of any kind of empathy may be historically accurate but my god is it jarring#and I wonder if some of that has to do with the Hornblower books being written in conformist mid-20th century America#while the Aubrey-Maturin series was started in the 1970s#when Vietnam and Northern Ireland and other colonial conflicts would have been front and center#but that's just a guess#aubreyad#hornblower#can you tell Hornblower gave me psychic damage lol
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