#absolute tomfoolery the lot of them

[randomlife22]

I don’t get why people are saying kids these days are so bad I had a kid who didn’t know who Sherk was and this is how explaining it to him went

Me: he’s basically this green ogre who wants to be left alone in his swamp and the rest of the characters refuse to let him

Kid(10 year old boy) : oh I know what an ogre is!

Me : Oh really how-

Kid: yeah in fact I’m looking at one right now

Like how is that not a peak interaction. Disrespectful? No that little dude saw his chance and took it, how could one feel anything other than pride and hope for the next generation?

[guillotinesandroses]

Genin Team Seven with a noise hypersensitive friend

Based on my personal experiences with noise hypersensitivity.

Naruto Uzumaki 

Naruto is dense, so it takes him a while to notice if you don't tell him about your noise hypersensitivity. The small flinches or irritated blinks from you caused by loud noises fly right past him. However, if you are the type to react in a more expressive way, like covering your ears with your hands, even he would notice. At first he does not pay much attention to it, brushing it off as some weird one time thing. The incident makes him pay more attention to your reactions though, leading to him asking you about it. 

Initially, his way of bringing it up comes off as blunt or even insensitive. If Sakura is around, she whacks him for the way he phrases the question. Once you explain why you react so harshly to louder or more high-pitched noises, his mouth goes wide in understanding; that explains so much! Regardless of whether or not Sakura is around, he apologises in panic since he would remember all the times he's been too loud around you. From now on, he swears he will do better and bother neither you nor your sensitive ears! 

This, in typical Naruto fashion, leads to a lot of shenanigans and tomfoolery. He will be very attentive, to a comical extent. He would get in trouble for trying to soundproof absolutely everything in the village for your sake. It takes you carefully explaining to him that it is not necessary to get him to stop. After that, he listens to you to understand what you need from him, which is only really just for him to remember that loud noises bother you.

He may get a bit overbearing at first but he means well; constantly asking you about your wellbeing in different situations is his way of learning what is an okay level of noise and when he needs to get worried. Once he gets the grasp of that, he tones it down. Then, if a situation ever comes up where there's too much noise, he'll try to get you out of there before you get a headache.

In case you do get a migraine from the loudness, he will completely freak out. Cue another montage of him being dramatic while trying to help you. In the end, the two of you end up chilling in a quieter location while waiting for your headache to subdue. Naruto is creative enough to find ways to be chaotic enough for the two of you while remaining silent. He's practically playing pantomime while trying to come up with quiet stuff to do, but his real goal is to make you laugh and feel better as he fails at the task.

If you are a ninja, some of the missions will include loud noises, such as explosive tags. Some enemies would use this to their advantage if they happened to know about your weakness. The sound ninja, for example, would be a horrible match up, and you probably did get into trouble with them at the Forest of Death.

If anyone tries to imply that there is no way you can be a ninja with a trait like that, Naruto is the first to jump in to defend your honour. How dare they say that, can't they see how awesome you are?! Who cares if noise bothers you sometimes, nobody likes getting their eardrums blown off! You're awesome anyway!

He has your back on any mission where a situation like that occurs. As soon as the sound makes your eyes snap shut and the enemy thinks they have the advantage, a blur of orange punches them into oblivion. By the time he has punched them you have recovered and finish the job. The two of you would then tie 'em up and high five. An absolute dynamic duo, that is what you are.

Even if you happened to be a civilian, there are still some things he tries to help you with. For example, if the sound of kitchen utensils cluttering drives you mad, he empties the dishwasher or does the dishes for you on particularly bad days. He usually asks for ramen as a payment, but it's mostly as a joke. He can tell you appreciate it, and he just wants to keep his friend as happy as possible in any way he can.

Overall, he cares very much about your wellbeing. The fact that you are sensitive to certain types of noises does not make him think of you any differently. He just thinks you're stronger for tolerating stuff that bothers you so much on a daily basis! This has also been an opportunity for him to learn more about a new kind of person; it is important for a future leader, a hokage, to understand as many types of people as possible. Now he can understand others who are like you and help them in similar ways if need be!

Sakura Haruno

Sakura is both observant and academically gifted; she suspected something was off from the first time she met you. She does not bring up the way your eyes narrow anytime she raises her voice or when blades scrape against each other with an unpleasant screech. That is not any of her business and she does not care, she tells herself. However, as much as she denies it, she is and has always been nosy and all up in everyone else's business. So, she ignores it until one day, she cannot.

It takes her having a really bad day to make her snap at you. Although she would have criticised Naruto for doing the exact same thing, she would find out the same way as he did. However, she would be even more rude about it. She finally got too annoyed at your constant eye twitches at her habit of raising her voice. This leads to you explaining that you have noise hypersensitivity.

Once the gears turn and those words click in her brain, she apologises profusely. Her face burns up in humiliation. As someone who considers herself smart, she feels should have recognised the symptoms earlier but assumed you were annoyed at everything she was saying instead. This day just could not get any worse…

After this, she softens her tone and tries to refrain from yelling. Being around you would actually do good for her anger issues, since it would force her to find other ways to express her frustration with others, especially you. It leads her to wonder why she even keeps resorting to yelling or hitting as her first instincts to show annoyance. Naruto is very grateful for the change, but bringing it up around Sakura in his usual blunt way was not a good idea (fly high, Uzumaki.) Anyway, Sakura would appreciate you helping her realise some things about herself, even if it was unintentionally, and the two of you would become better friends as a result.

Sakura is not as overwhelming as Naruto when dealing with your condition, but she would have her moments of 'overprotectiveness' as well. When someone else makes you flinch, she yells at them for it, only to realise her screaming is bothering you more than the sound the person had made. It leads to some more apologies once she notices this. She looks into noise hypersensitivity once she gets the chance and with your permission, suggests different ways for you to manage it. Other than that she makes sure the places you go to are not too loud for you, and leaves with you if it becomes too much, just like Naruto.

As for noise induced headaches, she knows a thing or two about making those go away. Whether that be via a type of head massage, a chakra treatment, medication or something else, that is up for you to decide. She is very serious about health related stuff and knows how these sorts of headaches can turn into migraines the following day. She tries her best to make sure yours won't have the chance to escalate to that level.

If you happened to be a ninja, she would worry a lot about the potential of explosives and the like hindering with your focus in battle. It gets a bit annoying to have her lecture your ear off about how you better keep your guard up and not freeze up. You know she means well and do not really comment on it, but do wish she would stop. She does so after seeing her fear come true; a ninja sets off an explosive tag right next to you, you flinch and then… completely demolish the ninja, throwing him into the dirt. Oh, she supposes it isn't actually that big of a problem after all, you can handle yourself.

If someone tries to imply that you cannot be a ninja, Sakura's eye is the one to twitch this time. She turns around and grabs your hand before going off on them. What do they mean you can't be a ninja, huh? Have they seen you fight?! They have some nerve, saying things like that when they are probably worse! It is a grave transgression to insult her friend in such a way, and she will let them know.

Even if you are not a ninja, Sakura will make sure to support you. Her care mainly shows itself as occasional health check-ups, free of charge, making sure your hearing is not getting damaged. She trusts that you can handle yourself. In your everyday life as a civilian, issues with loud noises are thankfully not as common as they are in a ninja's life. Other than that, she would subtly try to further the medical research around noise hypersensitivity by talking with her mentor about it, hoping to get the legendary healer interested in the subject as well.

Sakura would be a great friend to have with noise hypersensitivity, if not a bit overbearing at times. Given her medical knowledge combined with her lack of experience, she jumps to the worst conclusions way too quickly. She is kind of like a Google search telling you that you have brain cancer because you are a little more tired than usual. As she matures and learns more about your condition, she will tone it down. The overbearing tendencies simply turn into attentiveness she has for her friend. To her your noise hypersensitivity is just another part of you, a part that she's always prepared to help you with!

Sasuke Uchiha

Man's a total asshole and would not know what's up with you when he notices the way you would twitch at times. However, he does have a pair of sharp eyes on him, and would be aware that something keeps making you flinch every now and again. Whether or not he would confront you about it depends on how close you are. If you are not particularly close, he could not care less. If you are close, confrontation only takes him as long as it takes for him to determine what you are flinching from.

He phrases it as more of a statement than a question: you are sensitive to loud noises, aren't you? Once you confirm his theory, all he does is nod. He tells you not to let it get in the way of training, allowing it to do so would just make you slow him down further. He is rude and insensitive, but this is his way of both making you aware that he knows, and to motivate you to go past the limit it has set for you. He knows you can do better than this and won't have you letting yourself get caught up on weaknesses like that.

He's the worst out of the bunch when it comes to accommodating for your needs. He never apologises for being insensitive, yet he also is never loud. You likely gravitate towards him the most out of team seven since he's the quietest out of the bunch. The two of you have a tendency for sitting at the side, at a safe distance while the others get into some shenanigans. He's secretly a bit smug that his natural disposition compliments what you need perfectly, unlike his two genin teammates', who need to put constant effort into not blowing your eardrums off.

His way of caring is shown in more subtle ways. For example, he refrains from using explosives in his strategies when you are around. It is not as if they ever were a staple in his fighting style anyway, but your involvement has made him reluctant to use them at all. Like Naruto, he fills in for you during the times where you falter. Even if an enemy does discover your weakness and gets the better of you, Sasuke ensures that they cannot do any real damage, though he is rude about it.

Since Sasuke is Sasuke, he totally asks if your noise sensitivity is related to a clan ability you have, like the Inuzuka clan's sensitive noses. If it is related to a bloodline limit, Sasuke wants to hear more about it and listens to your explanation. He tells himself it is only to make sure he can beat you, but he also is truly curious about it. If it is not a clan ability, he is disappointed and views you as weaker for it. However, he is also somewhat relieved that he does not have another thing to look out for in case he ends up battling you one day; it is only a disadvantage of yours he can use.

Although that is what he genuinely thinks, he acknowledges how great your battle prowess is even with that disadvantage. It barely even hinders your ability to fight. At most you blink and keep going, and he knows you are working on fixing that. He's actually kind of impressed by how well you can withstand noises that he knows sound like absolute hell to you. He won't tell you that, but he somewhat envies your pain tolerance and likes your determination in that regard.

His ways of checking up on you are subtle, at least to him. He makes sure to keep track of your moods, only asking indirectly about it if necessary. If you try to fake being fine with the noise level somewhere when you're not, he sees right through it. He straight up just drags you someplace quiet where you can recover. Sasuke calls you an idiot for hurting yourself like that, but offers you water or something in the same breath.

If you are a civilian, Sasuke will not really do much to help you in your everyday life. He is busy and believes you should be able to handle yourself. To Sasuke, allowing you to exist on your own without fussing over your wellbeing is a sign of trust on his part. He cares about you deeply yet allows you to flourish on your own. It is only when you over-exhaust yourself that he runs over, calls you a moron and grumpily helps you, both mad that you would to this to yourself and happy to have an excuse to take care of you for once.

If someone tries to insinuate that you will only be a liability in battle due to your condition and should quit, Sasuke surprises you by scoffing loudly and calling them a fool. He goes off on the person in a more subtle way than his teammates, stating that it would be moronic to retire someone skilled because of a condition that does not even hinder the ninja's abilities. He remarks that the person has likely never even witnessed you fight or react to loud noises, it has never been an issue in combat. After he has destroyed the person's self-esteem, they leave and he motions for you to follow him. Before you can even ask him about anything, he makes it clear that his words 'did not mean anything' and you better not let any of it get to your head, he does not want your skills to drop as a result of getting overconfident and have you make him look like a fool for saying that as a result- at least that is what he tells you before walking off to brood, like he always does.

Sasuke would be indifferent, even rude about your noise hypersensitivity, but that to him means he isn't looking down on you for it. He still acknowledges you as a powerful ninja, and… bleh, a friend of his. Although he won't be checking up on you all the time nor always be around to help, he is paying attention to the state of mind you're in at any moment. It is important to him that you are happy and not suffering, and as long as that's guaranteed, he's good. Unless it seriously starts to weigh down on your wellbeing, he won't be obvious about looking out for you in the way that he does.

[beau-bunny]

Aaron’s such an underrated character on Aphblr tbh. He’s become one of my favorite characters in the cast as I rewatch more and more of Mystreet. Aaron will tease you, but he’s also one of the best characters in the cast to go to for emotional support. He’ll tell you as it is, smack you upside the head when you’re being crazy and shake you back to rational normalcy, but then he’ll sigh and tell you you’re gonna be just fine and everything’s gonna be okay. He is the number one (and on occasion only) holder of brain cells in the whole neighborhood. He’s the most sensible, and often the word of wisdom/rationale, much more so than Katelyn or Lucinda or Zane or Laurance are. This can often make him come off as a serious character, but he’s still down to clown! He just does it in a different way!

He’s supposed to contrast Aphmau’s louder, more extroverted, playful, ditzy, eccentric personality, by being quieter, more rational, more responsible, more cautious and careful, more reserved, a word of wisdom to contrast her crazier, chaotic energy and pranking and punning and ponies and general whimsical tomfoolery. But that does not, by any means, mean that he is not participating in the antics. Just because he’s the only one who thought to bring a first aid kit and a safety harness doesn’t mean he’s not jumping off that cliff with everyone else in this crazy cast. You tell him to dig, he’ll bring shovels. He may sigh or say “oh god not again” when shit goes awry or the gang decides they are Dead Set on doing something insane for the 10,000th time, but by god he will commit. Aphmau kidnaps a baby and goes on a mad chase for a comedic bit, and he never complains about how “stupid” and “reckless” and “obnoxious” his girlfriend is, he just says in a completely calm tone, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go save my girlfriend.” And he chases after her immediately lmao.

Aaron enables the antics and participates in them, and if you rile him up or challenge him damn well enough, he will throw himself into the group antics with an unbeatable, fiery fervor. If the boys decide they’re all gonna pretend to be Santa and his elves in order to cause prankster-variety chaos one day, Aaron would join in and go right alongside them. He’s here to make sure it all goes to plan. He’s here to make sure you don’t break any bones when you jump off that roof like a madman. He’s here to help you run away from the cops, help you break into the building. He may chide you for doing it in the first place (“do you even know what you’re doing?!”), and if needed he may drag you back home if you’re barking up the wrong tree and it’s nothing but detrimental to you, but if it’s viable for the bit, he absolutely will show you how to break a window correctly.

And he can be a little shit if he wants to, too!! He can snicker at you and tease you and make quips, and I bet if Aaron himself dedicated his energy to it, he would make the best of pranks. He’s not an asshole that’s full of himself and too serious and stoic and cool for being silly, he’s not a whiny bitch, he’s actually very incredibly supportive. At times, much more so than Garroth, Laurance, Zane, Katelyn, etc. He’s reliable, he trusts Aphmau a lot, he knows how shittily Aphmau cooks and still does his damndest to support her, and he will force himself to eat her biohazardous cooking just to make her happy. He is the chef of the household. He’s good with animals, animals love him. He’s a kind guy!!! He’s just got his own unique energy and vibe to him, that no one else in the cast really has, and I really appreciate that core trait of him. He’s a grounding character. He’s probably got his own ways that he’s weird and eccentric that are a lot more hidden than Aphmau’s. If we didn’t have Aaron, the entire neighborhood would have burned down ages ago, ten times over.

I genuinely do believe he’d make a fantastic dad, being a combination of a soft and gentle and tenderly loving man, and responsible enough to always bring safety helmets and bandaids and snacks, very supportive of his kids development, emotionally available as a great source of genuine advice and wisdom while still getting plenty of encouragement. He would probably want to make an effort to be a very different parent than his father was, and since he was emotionally neglected as a child, he would refuse to do anything similar to his own kids. He’d be a good influence (and Aphmau would be the bad influence LOL)

He’s kind of a teddy bear of a man <3 If he weren’t so heavily wolf-themed, I’d say a bear would be the best animal that’d fit his personality and energy. He’d protect you like a bear, he can be really fucking terrifying if he wants to, but he’d only use that power to make sure Aphmau gets what she wants and needs to make her happy. He’d never use that terrifying intimidation factor of his on his friends and loved ones, never as anything more than a single look that has a derailing Garroth/Laurance/Travis/Dante/Gene/etc. get right the fuck back on track and start backpedaling, like if they started saying or doing something careless or stupid that made Aphmau feel worse. He’s quiet and reserved with that tired, grounded, solid energy of a bear. He’s a big guy. But he can also be really soft and supportive and sweet. He takes more time to come out of his shell and let down his walls, but when he does, he really dedicates his life to the few people he manages to trust. And it’s that thick outer shell that makes Aphmau a good match for him, because she’s kinda the only character in the cast who’s able to bring him out of his shell so easily.

She’s kind and extremely friendly, unstoppably and unendingly so. She’s sweet and naive and selfless in the way that proves to Aaron that she’s not trying to get anything out of him, she’s not lying to him, and she would never neglect him or just…abandon him like a discarded toy once she’s through with him. She’s not scared of him. She sees the best in everybody, and sees that there’s something more underneath that scary, prickly outer shell of defenses that’s managed to push everyone else away and keep the likes of Laurance and Garroth and Katelyn on their toes. She sees what no one else does, she sees the true beauty and the kind heart he has underneath. Even in MCD, when he’s literally held a sword to her throat and threatened her life multiple times, she can still sense that he’s full of shit and there’s a kind heart underneath, and if she does a little cultivating, extends a hand of gentle kindness and genuine affection, a kind of love and affection he’s never really seen before and been starved of all his life… it works wonders, and he steps out to meet her. He changes, drastically, because she sees the best in him, and that makes him want to become the best version of himself that he can be, for her. Where he might hate himself and grapple with feeling unloveable, Aphmau is there to remind him none of its true. And so he tries to keep her nightmares away in return, sticking by her side, taking care of her, cooking for her, encouraging her to keep doing everything she does best, defends her against the bullies that make her feel like she’s not good enough, and takes her by the shoulders to remind her that she is good enough, and all the voices out there and in her head that tell her she’s not are full of shit. Because he knows first-hand, better than most, the good things she brings to those around her and the wonderful presence she is in others lives, and how wonderful she is as a person. He trusts her. He’s here to guide her along in her path to becoming her fullest self, to give her that last big nudge to boost her along the way. Likely on a cosmic level, mainly, with her becoming Irene.

He’s very sweet, he’s sweet to Aphmau, Aphmau’s even sweeter to him, and genuinely I’ve learned to love the big, fluffy guy and I really appreciate him and his impact on the other characters the more and more I see of him. I don’t really know how I would enjoy Mystreet or MCD or the Aphverse without him. If he were real, I would love to give him one big hug, I bet his hugs would be amazing (topped only by Garroth’s rib-crushing bear hugs)

[cherry-romper]

Being Friends Would Include

+ Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Marco, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Levi, Erwin, Hange, Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie, Porco, Pieck, Zeke

Eren; • Him insisting on carrying anything heavy for you, then that being taken from him by Mikasa. • The two of you sparring a lot. • Always jokingly at each others throats. • You teasing him about Mikasa taking care of him. • Battle of the Wits™ • Him buying you little gifts when you head to the market. • The two of you making fun of Jean and howling about it afterwards.

Mikasa; • Working out together. • Her constantly pushing you to do better in training. • Awkwardly saying goodbye to each other when split up on missions. • You running after her when she chases after Eren. • Her finally opening up to you as you both watch the stars during a night off. • You make her laugh a lot and that makes you smile. • You hold her arm when you're walking together.

Armin; • Rainy book days together. • The two of you playing chess a lot. • Him giving you lessons to help academically, and you training him using ODM gear. • The two of you both getting stronger in your respective areas and balancing each other out. • You reassuring him every time he gets frustrated. • Figuratively batting his self-loathing out of him. • You carved him a little whale out of a piece of wood and he nearly drowned in his tears.

Marco; • He's so sweet all the time. • Would do anything for you, whatever, whenever, wherever. • Buys you gifts any chance he gets. • Tends to be a blushing mess around you.  • Being friends with him means you're friends with Jean by default. • Jean teases Marco all the time about him blushing around you. • Would give the best hugs and is always there to be a shoulder to cry on.  • Is your emotional support. • You're inseparable. • You both laugh a lot. Sometimes for no reason, you just look at each other and start laughing.

Jean; • He's hopeless. You have to physically pull him away from women who has long, black hair. • He makes horrific puns all the time. • You can't help but laugh at how bad they are. • Tends to stare at you without knowing. He gets called out a lot for it in lessons and training. • Draws you all the time. He even asks you to pose sometimes. • He spends a lot of time with Marco and Connie. • Which means he asks advice them on how to be a better friend. Marco tells him to be a nice friend and give you hugs. While Connie insists and the whole "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" approach. • So, some days he's really nice and understanding and others he plays the "bad boy" and insists on working out in front of you.

Connie; • Oh golly, oh gosh, the absolute tomfoolery the two of you get up to is astonishing. • None of your superiors have ever had to deal with the amount of havoc you two wreak. • Half the time it's unintentional. You're both just walking messes. • For example, flying into each other during training, continuously messing up the salute and not to mention the amount of gear the two of you have broken. • Neither of you like to admit you're bad at something and end up boosting each other's ego's. • "Y/N, I'm the best here right?" "Yeah, only second to me, of course." • Laughing like baboons at the tiniest things. 

Sasha; • Stealing rations together and/or one of you stealing for the other. • Laughing fits that get the two of you in trouble over. • Neither of you having a clue in lectures and always asking for help from each other. • She takes you hunting and teaches you about her life before the military. • Both of you shitting yourselves every time you see a Titan. • Both of you are as clueless as each other. • Hanging out with Connie, Jean and Marco by a fire. • She's kind of like a cat, she'll go hunting and bring you rabbits and the like as gifts. (So you can cook it together).

Levi; • Who ever gets up first makes the other tea, it's a tradition. • "You look like shit" • Finds it hilarious when you pull faces at people you don't like but would never admit it. • Likes the fact that you have balls and can stick up for yourself but he's always there if you ever need someone's ass kicked. • You often find him slumped in his chair sleeping and always end up putting a blanket over him. • You never really speak about taking care of each other, it just kinda of happens. • Smiles to himself when you leave him little notes on his desk. • Encourages you to tidy but never forces you like he does the others.

Hange; • "Come on, it will be fun" "What part of opening a Titan is fun?" • Throws themselves onto you a lot to express emotions. Both positive and negative ones. • Tells the most outrageous stories while eating. • They're incredibly expressive and tend to hit you accidentally while throwing their hands up in the air. • Is serious when necessary and it never fails to send shivers down your spine when their tone of voice changes. • It's always funny watching them work and, as crazy as they are, you can't help but admire their intelligence. • Got you a little Titan doll for your birthday.

Erwin; • You don't see each other often because he's always working but when you get the chance you work together in the same room. • "Have you eaten today?" • Super caring. • You had a talk with him about him living a little: "you can't deny yourself your own humanity for the sake of others. Live a little. Start a family, buy a house, get drunk for Christ's sake. If you live everyday thinking about others, you lose yourself." • He proceeded sob like a baby. And that's the only time he's ever cried in front of someone. • You admire him for his leadership and he admires you for your determination. • Bought you a horse. The fastest one he could find. Trained it himself to come when called and engraved your initials into the saddle.  

Reiner; • He take being a soldier seriously and often encourages you to do the same. • He spends most of the time with Bertholdt, so the three of you are friends. • You both tease Bert about his crush on Annie. • Drags you to extra training any chance he gets. If you refuse he throws you over his shoulder and takes you there himself. • Takes you on walks to clear his head. He finds fresh air good for his mental health, and has found you have the same effect. • Repairs your gear for you. He refuses to let anyone else do it. • He gets homesick a lot. He's not one to breakdown easily but he cracks sometimes. Almost let his secret slip more than once while you comforted him.

Bertholdt; • A gentle giant. • Comes to you when he needs advice. • One time he asked you on how he could be more assertive and Jean over heard and took it the wrong way. Now Bert gets teased about it. • Distanced himself for a while because of his mission but found that life without you around wasn't worth it. • Vowed to take you with him when he goes back home, but struggled with how he'd tell you. • You are close friends with everyone in the corps, so you wake them up in the morning. Most days you leave Bert till last so you can all admire his sleeping positions. Jean predicts the weather with them. • Has the best laugh. You can't help but smile when you hear it. • He's really warm. Like his body temperature is abnormally warm. So he gives the best hugs.

Annie; • Quiet but opinionated. Never sugarcoats anything. • She's not afraid to tell you if you're not improving or if your stance is weak. • Tends to lean on walls, all cool like, and observe people from afar, but smiles a little to herself when she sees you approaching. • There's a comfortable silence between the two of you. There's normally not a need for words. • You bought some sweets one day and went to offer her one but pulled the bag away last second. "Train me." she said no at first, then you told her you'd buy her as many sweets as she wanted so she agreed. • You spend most of the time sparring with her. • She likes your determination to learn and better yourself.

Porco; • Tends to be an asshole for no reason, so you have to apologies after him: "Please ignore him" • Drags you around after him. • Take you to the markets and buys you things. • Always tries to impress you and succeeds a lot but often takes it overboard. • Secretly enjoys skin-on-skin contact and hugs but would NEVER admit it. • Likes to think he's invincible but you've seen him crack under pressure. • You call him "Porky" to piss him off coz it sounds like his name.

Pieck; • She's very soft spoken around you. • Brings you things before you even get the chance to ask for them. You just know each other that well. • She falls asleep on your shoulder a lot - often by accident tho. • If she walks upright, she hooks her arm in yours for support. • You both defend each other when criticising your superiors and both contribute to Marley. • You find her curled up on the sofa a lot and bring a blanket to keep her warm. • Cares for you and makes sure you always stay healthy. • Scares the living shit out of you when she crawls around on all fours.

Zeke; • Plays catch with you when you both need a break. • Always offers you a cigarette, even if you don't smoke. • Secretive. He's selective with his words, so he doesn't say anything he's not ready to share but he's always there to listen to your problems. • Completely different on the battlefield. Can be cold and ruthless - even a little sadistic at times. Away from the fighting, he tends to be quite warm and inviting. • A Whiskey drinker, but not a heavy drinker. He's almost never been drunk. • Hates that you want to join the fight. He feels as though you shouldn't be brought into it and refuses to let you fight. • Gives rare hugs, normally when he sees you crying, but they're good. • Has spouts of anger. They're scary as hell, he throws things and shouts, only ever in private though, he would NEVER show that kind of emotion around you. You only caught him once and just watched in horror as he destroys things - he apologised right after and still feels guilty.

[glitterforashes]

𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 ; 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬

>>> sally fisher and larry johnson as per usual, fluff, comfort for sal, usual tomfooleries for larry, lake hc’s. enjoy!

𝐬𝐚𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐫 —

doesn’t like to swim, just sits on the shore

will get in to about waist length if you ask nicely

hates being splashed. will immediately get back out

brings his gameboy in case he gets bored

usually only goes with you, larry, ash and todd. wont go alone or one on one with anyone.

doesn’t wear just swim trunks, wears a tshirt over them

refuses to get his hair wet like a little girl

burns. so bad. needs to be absolutely slathered in sunscreen to not go up in flames

“sally, get in the water! it’s so waaarm!” you whined at him, wading through the lake that was surprisingly clear. even if you went deep, you could still see your toes beneath the water. “no, i’m good.” he called back to you, face hidden behind his beloved gameboy. you, todd and ash all stood about waist length in the water, just wading around and talking. sally refused to get in, and larry had run back to ash’s car to get the cooler. something was clearly wrong with sally. usually he’d get in, even if it was only to his ankles. with a pout on your lips, you slicked your hair back and climbed out of the water, set on finding out what was bothering your beloved boy. you plopped down on the rickety lawn chair next to him, crossing one leg over the other and facing your body towards him, giving him your utmost attention. “what’s the matter, sal?” you asked softly, gently running your fingers against his pale arm. “nothing. just don’t feel like swimming today.” he mumbled, keeping focus solely on the game. you looked at him, studying his face. “sal, i know there’s something wrong. what’s bugging you?” his shoulders slumped as he sighed, lowering the game boy. he looked over at you, vulnerability in his eyes. “are you interested in todd?” he asked, searching your face. your eyes widened. “what? no. where did that come from?” “just.. you two have been spending a lot of time together. it’s okay if you don’t want to be with me anymore.” your shoulders slumped and you reached out, gently brushing a few strands of hair away from his face. “no, sally. you’re the only one i want. besides.. i’m pretty sure todd swings the other way, if you know what i mean.” sal chuckled a bit, seeming to loosen up. “yeah. okay. sorry, (y/n).” you shook your head and leaned in, pressing a chaste kiss against the cheek of his mask. “nothing to be sorry for, sally-wally.” your laugh echoed across the lake as he physically cringed, you could practically see his face through the mask. “please. never call me that again.” “okay, sally wally pooh.”

𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐣𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 —

wears big goofy goggles and swims down to the deep parts of the lake to find cool rocks for you.

religiously wears a goofy pair of duck print swim shorts.

ties his hair up in a bun, you love it.

REFUSES to wear sunscreen, always gets sunburnt. turns tan the next day, but complains about the sunburn until then.

likes it when you make sandwiches for him and bring them to the lake. tears them up. absolutely devours them.

sleeps on the ride back home.

likes going to the lake one on one with you, but will also go with the others.

likes to use water guns when the others are around.

“larry, please just put sunscreen on your shoulders if anything.” “no, (y/n)! sunscreen is for losers.” you hovered over him as he tugged goggles onto his face, heavily insistent on burning to a crisp. “sunscreen is not for losers, it’s for people who don’t want to get melanoma and look like a raisin by the age of twenty.” he huffed and spread his arms out finally, doing a little turn so you could coat all the visible parts of his body in sunscreen. luckily, it was the spray on kind, so his complaining was minimal. after that dramatic scene, you two were splashing about, scaring every fish within a ten mile radius. “larry! stop it, you’re getting water up my nose!” you screeched, coughing up and blowing out water from basically ever sinus you possibly could. he laughed as he bombarded you with comically large splashes, absolutely drenching your face and hair in the span of four seconds. that went on until you got close enough to grab a handful of his hair and shove his head under the water, effectively stopping his attacks and almost drowning him. you two went home soggy, tired, and hungry, collapsing onto his bed. lisa found you both hours later and snapped a picture. now, hanging on larry’s fridge is a candid shot of you and him, sprawled out across the bed, sheets wet, tangled in each others limbs. larry has his head at the foot of the bed and one of his legs hanging off the side, while you have your head resting against his abdomen and your legs propped up against the wall. however, the part lisa liked the most was the fact despite being asleep, you two had managed to find each others hands and interlock pinkies.

[van1lla-sh0rtcakeee]

Arcane Headcannons!

Cus I was feeling a bit silly :3

Jinx Headcannons!

⪼ REALLY flexible, idk I can just see it tho, she could be a contortionist

⪼extremely sentimental, she went back to collect everything she could from the 'incident' 💔

⪼makes up her own universe with her own OCs and bases them off people she knows and kills them all during episodes when they piss her off

⪼LISTENS TO ASHNIKKO AND JACK OF JILL YOU CAN'T CHANGE My MIND

⪼ATROCIOUS handwriting, you have better chance reading hieroglyphics

⪼Can bake really well! But usually takes down half the kitchen and uses ingredients that originate from CSI crime scenes

⪼blew up the last drop bar (accidentally she claims) and was permanently banned by Sevika - Silco got this appealed quickly

⪼MILLIONS of things in her bed that shouldn't be there (screwdrivers, scrap metal, broken items she's emotionally attached to...) but she cuddles n speaks to like like their human

⪼never sleeps, takes spontaneous cat naps + drools when she sleeps + bed hog

⪼steals things she likes the look of (SHINEY OR COLOURFUL STUFF) before she bombing the area

→gives Silco manicures

⪼calls Ekko her malewife (there is something really fruity abt timebomb I can't figure it out tho...

Vi headcannons!

→gets Jinx to fix her fatass gauntshits

→makes Caitlyn breakfast everymorning... Odds of it being edible and low and odds of kitchen being a mess afterwards are high

→scraped together the last of her pit fighter money to buy a Hexstrap but Cait REFUSES to use it

→shamelessly sleeps NO shirt, titties OUT and sweaty abused sport shorts

→sleeps on her arm despite there being a pillow RIGHT THERE, wakes up with no sensation

→doesn't make her bed

→like arcade games a lot (?) Makes friends with the little kids and gets competitive trying to win at those stupid duo games

→disgusting mouth smacking noises as she chews, everyone around her is put off their food

→weird food combos; tuna+custard, peanut butter+pickles, watermelon+mayo shares her snacks with pregnant women

→"I don't listen to music" until twenty one pilots comes on and she SOBS her HEART and LUNGS out

→had a papa roach phase...

→likes sonic n crash Bandicoot, I don't make the rules

→absolutely foolish when Jayce is around... May start some tomfoolery...

→cuts her hair by herself with the largest pair of kitchen Scissors available

Caitlyn Headcannons!

⪼she took years of Etiquette class and was FLOGGED if she didn't chose the appropriate spoon size - the trauma is etched into her memory now she only picks up the 2nd smallest spoon to her left

⪼stingy with butter on toast (?)

⪼posture so good she maintains while asleep and does. Not. Move.

⪼constantly smells something burning from the kitchen in the morning...

⪼only one capable of whipping up a nontoxic decent meal without destroying the kitchen

⪼firm believer in gun control (gun control being only she controls the gun)

⪼Fiona Apple listener, listens to ONE song and calls it a day

⪼i can see her dragging Vi to watch opera, she comes out weeping n snot dripping while Vi is extremely confused and is trying to find the lyrics

⪼ partial going deaf from all the gunfire exploding in her ear drums 💔 u gotta scream in her ear to grab her attention (still not guaranteed to get her attention)

⪼once she holds a grudge against you there's nothing you can do to get her forgiveness, good luck

⪼ recieving ominous death threats from a user '@N0tJ1nx3d' on Instagram

⪼said 'Argh, matey' into the mirror once, immediately experienced an inward feeling of acute awkwardness and embarrassment, then Vi started giggling because she heard this and now bullies Cait with it

⪼enjoys reading poetry in her free time

⪼ enjoys visiting the firelight Hideout (ekko's tree of whateva...) because she likes nature

Ekko Headcanons

⪼ eavesdrops on everyone and know EVERYTHING

⪼ universally known to enjoy tyler, the creator and owns at LEAST 3 pieces of merch

⪼head bopper + hums to the music

⪼ psychically, with his WHOLE body DRY HEAVES and gutturally GAGS around smokes because its gross you'd think he were asthmatic

⪼spirit animal is miles Morales

⪼can play the flute, idk where I got this from but it's lodged in my head that he CAN play the flute...

⪼makes 'ur mum' and 'deez nuts' jokes

⪼SOMEHOW sags with a belt on?? It's cannon btw

⪼forced into the tiresome labour of giving Jinx and Isha piggybacks (JINX & ISHA ARR ALIVE!)

⪼got bullied for his LoL hair style and found an actual barber

⪼still a little mentally anachronistic from the alternative reality/ gets mixed up

⪼took up gardening as a hobby + enjoys stargazing

[chireikiden]

There's a few things that I think are left ambiguous in the sense of having both a more straightforward and a more intricate/interconnected reading. I kinda lean towards (and simply prefer) the latter on most counts, but feel like it's good to acknowledge the questions too.

Did Suika knowingly screw over Mizuchi (either via her whole offer being a scam, or by relenting and leading the lynch mob to her once it was decided she would die) or did she really not mean for this to happen and just caught up to her for a final talk before the lynch mob did? The latter would also make her motive for helping Mizuchi escape Former Hell more interesting. May still come up in CDS, as I suspect Suika's still going to make an appearance, even if it doesn't get an unambiguous answer. If the Shuten-douji stories are anything to go by, as far as I can remember, Suika actually has a lot of history picking interesting humans to recruit as youkai.

Did the lynch mob kill her for some more basic reason (e.g. revenge on her as a shrine maiden or the Miyadeguchi, her not fitting in well enough, her being inconvenient for them somehow) or because they'd picked this arbitrary point to start enforcing the new "no jinyou"/"no attacking humans" rules? I lean towards the latter because it just makes her rant about the system fit together better, and feel that it's even kinda necessary for the bit about "this land soon becoming a domain of youkai" to make much sense. Plus her title "Casualty of the Great Barrier". Otherwise she's just a casualty of some random youkai who happens to dislike the barrier. While she's still a hypocrite, it's more understandable to be unduingly salty about it if the order of events was: 1.) The youkai strongarm her into becoming a youkai because they are attacking her, a human 2.) The youkai kill her because becoming a youkai or attacking humans is banned However, it's also fair to say that can make the youkai's behavior seem a little weirdly flipfloppy (even if they weren't acting as a coordinated group). Unlikely to be explained further, in my opinion.

Was the scapegoating of the Miyadeguchi just something else that happened later on, or about the betrayal that Mizuchi herself committed? The latter is way funnier/more dramatic/more hypocritical on her part, and thus the superior option. Though the Hakurei punishing the rest of her clan is still something to be mad about. Unlikely to be explained further.

It is fair and funny to note that Mizuchi was absolutely a weirdo in life too, "getting used to" attacking humans concerningly quickly. (I look forward to artists interpreting that as anything between some Kogasa tomfoolery and her taking the first excuse to become a serial killer.) On the other hand, it also makes sense for her to die extra mad about the youkai betraying her because she thought she was on their side now, and apparently even had some pro-youkai attitudes in general. Can't be betrayed by your enemies. Her thoughts on youkai may well be elaborated further.

If this isn't stating the obvious, I'm getting the vibe that she may be trying the classic gambit of "forcing" Reimu to exterminate her properly to teach her a lesson (and/or to commit suicide by shrine maiden). Heck, even her final line in the chapter can kinda be read as a coy way to say "I'm coming over there now, for you to deal the final blow that ends your so-called extermination."

Dunno the details. Presumably the new system of Gensokyo they were helping put into place, which it now seems included purging the entirety of the priestly class besides the Hakurei, which we didn't previously have a clear idea existed. And though I try to make a distinction and not cite it as an "equally canon" source, ZUN's lore bits in Gensou Narratograph reinforce the idea that human society in Gensokyo was thoroughly reshaped only when the barrier was put up, including being herded into the Human Village and having their old hierarchies destroyed. The Hakurei might have helped coordinate this if they could play good cop with the humans.

This (with or without the Narratograph inclusion) does paint an interesting image of the Hakurei as an organized, scheming clan with some agency in what happened, though we can't take Mimi's understanding of the events at face value. It also makes me wonder when and how they were reduced from a proper faction to just one shrine maiden in existence at a time. Maybe they were just purged or allowed to die off, too, once they'd outlived their usefulness.

[octopodeez]

Arcane x One Piece AU

Shoving everyone into an au where they get 1100+ episodes :’)

EKKO

DEVIL FRUIT: Time-Time Fruit allows 4 second time rifts. Awakened Fruit allows 30 second time rifts but takes A LOT out of him.

HISTORY: Joined the Revolutionary Army shortly after Sabo. Since he, Koala, and Sabo are the three kids at the time, they become fast friends and cause an insane amount of chaos. Ekko still has a hoverboard bc I said so. Competes with Sabo and Koala to see who can punch the most World Government officials. He’s in the lead because one time he managed to punch a Celestial Dragon TWICE thanks to his Devil Fruit and get away with it.

JINX

DEVIL FRUIT: Butterfly SMILE Fruit. Has wings that provide boosts when jumping and increase her speed. She’s also granted the ability to create cocoon shields/traps.

HISTORY: Recruited by Doflamingo when she was young and has remained a loyal member of the Don Quixote Family ever since. Her relationship with the other executives is very strained because Doffy definitely lets her get away with more tomfoolery than them. Absolutely despises Law because not only is he a traitor, but she knows part of why she’s never given the Heart seat is because of him. She volunteered to test the first SMILE Fruit grown by the Tontotta despite knowing the risks. Likes to participate in Colosseum matches but ends up defecting when she runs into Vi during the tournament for Ace’s Fruit. Afterwards, she somehow ends up on Buggy’s crew making him miserable for funsies.

(More under the cut ⬇️)

SEVIKA

DEVIL FRUIT: No

HISTORY: A proud member of the Kid Pirates. Kid when he saw her single-handedly beat up some randos in a bar. Literally. Offers to build her an arm if she joins his crew. Ever since, she’s been one of his most loyal crew mates. He loves that she’s always down to let him tinker around with some wild enhancement for her arm, and when he loses his, she plays a big role in helping him adjust/making design suggestions. Sevika sees Killer as a rival because she thinks she should be second in command. Almost every night ends in her drunken arm wrestling the entire crew.

CAITLIN

DEVIL FRUIT: No

HISTORY: Observation Haki is INSANE! She is a Marine who serves in the same unit as Smoker and Tashigi (and personally escorts Crocodile to Impel Down post-Alabasta). A lot of little things have made her question her loyalty to the Marines over time, but what finally does her in is seeing Shanks rescue Koby from getting pummeled by an Admiral. Someone who is supposed to be a leader. She attends Whitebeard and Ace’s funeral where Shanks makes a little joke that she should consider changing teams. Post-Timeskip she joins the Revolutionary Army.

VI

DEVIL FRUIT: No

HISTORY: Famous for using armament Haki on her fists except she punched an admiral once which landed her in Impel Down where she bonds with Ace. Breaks out with Luffy & fights beside him at Marineford. Is absolutely devastated by Ace’s death and furious with herself for not being powerful enough to save him. Becomes a fighter in the Dressrosa colosseum, and is merciless when trying to win Ace’s fruit, only to lose it to Sabo. On the bright side, she reunites with Jinx & causes havoc for Doffy. Ekko manages to persuade her to join the Revolutionary Army. She accepts but remains salty af towards Sabo for beating her out.

VIKTOR

DEVIL FRUIT: Worm-Worm Fruit. Allows him to mind control anyone whose forehead he touches.

BACKGROUND: As a child, he was a slave to the Celestial Dragons before escaping alongside Fisher Tiger, however, their mistreatment permanently damaged his leg. He somehow ends up becoming a member of the Whitebeard Pirates, however, after they disband Viktor is offered a Warlord position, which he accepts strictly so he can do his own thing without the government poking around. Together with Jayce, he has managed to decode several Poneglyphs in hopes that perhaps there is a way to use the ancient weapons to create a more just world.

JAYCE

DEVIL FRUIT: No

BACKGROUND: Worked under Vegapunk until he begins taking interest in The Void Century/starts speaking out against the Celestial Dragons, leading to his exile from The World Government. Luckily, Viktor has caught wind of the brilliant scientist-turned-criminal and seeks him out to form an alliance. Together they study Poneglyphs, becoming second only to Robin in their understanding of them. When the World Government catches wind, Jayce and Viktor’s bounties fucking skyrocket.

MEL

DEVIL FRUIT: No

BACKGROUND: Possesses some of the most powerful Conqueror’s Haki in the world, though she’s still working on refining her skills. She arrived at Amazon Lily to get away from her mother and soon becomes one of Hancock’s most trusted advisors. She ends up becoming Amazon Lily’s liaison to the outside world which includes giving the one and only warning to any men who happen to stumble upon the island and attending Warlord meetings on Hancock’s behalf.

AMBESSA

DEVIL FRUIT: None

BACKGROUND: A Warlord of the Sea tryna get Yonko Status. Teams up with Kaido for a short time with the intent to overthrow him, but loses her warlord status because of it. Beefs EXTRA hard with Shanks (they probably fucked lbr). Tries to use Mel to ally with Hancock but Mel has already given Hancock the lore so she’s Not Having It.

Masterlist.

[howgalling]

Just found you tfoc spark twins, did you and your friend ever create any lore you’d be willing to share about the two?

WE DID! it went a bit crazy actually. me and @rubski02 go crazy ranting about the plotlines lolol. we have our transformer designs of them but we've also made human designs of them for my cyberpunk au (except this one has a version of swindle that is basically saul goodman. hes steeles babygirl and juicy wants nothing more in this life than to kill him. steele will not let her <3)

steele, steele water is her stage name. basically shes the big boss of batshit events, monster truck shows, absolute cowboy tomfoolery, car meets, just enabling style and drag racing (knockout frequents her events :3) She manages it in a way that keeps it under control enough that the cops turn a blind eye because at least then it's not spilling onto their turf lmao. above board in the ways that matter, no kill rules in place or you get ganked, the usual vaguely criminal enterprises. (theres a lot more under the surface of course)

steele's human cyberpunk design. a fringed western denim over a netrunning suit. styling. serving even! she's extremely detail orientated, plays for the long game. complete opposite to her sparktwin juicy. i'll let ruby talk about juicy though :D

the girls... and swindle lol.

[hmshermitcraft]

Some academic tomfoolery: newbie marine biologist Grian is trying to study some FASCINATING odd seal behaviour. this species of seals are using and making tools and doing more obvious vocal mimicry than usual along with lots of complex seal noises! incredible! Seal stone age and plausibly language! Though it's mostly more...bone age...lots of chewed-into-shape bones. He should probably get an anthropologist in on this but this is like, one of his first projects, he'd have to actually publish this first.

There's even a particularly tool-smart one who seems to be poking around at a fresh shipwreck and keeps coming up on Grian's boat? Grian's wished them luck with whatever they're trying to do with the destroyed boat (it had belonged to some rich guy and experienced bizarre problems at sea one day and wrecked some rocks where it absolutely shouldn't have been) but he's not risking going there That Boat. Sometimes bits of it moves. He thinks the seal is discovering redstone. They've definitely discovered fire and cooking, there's a deliberate campfire there some days and he's seen them with cooked seagull and fish.

also there is a Very Attractive Mechanic-In-Training, Mumbo, who's been working on his boat and seems to think Grian's research is funny without ever actually doubting any of it and has a very fancy and clearly custom-made dappled black and grey jacket that might actually be real pelt. He's going to the same university Grian's doing research with, finishing his degree in nautical engineering; he's getting so much extra credit fixing all the bizarre problems Grian's boat keeps getting. Some of them are Grian's fault, some of them are just things breaking because they're on a boat, and some of them are very smart seals investigating the boat and breaking it in new and bizarre ways.

Who even tries to shuck a boat? Idiot seal juveniles with bone-and-wood shellfish harvesting tools, apparently. At least, Mumbo is convinced it's an attempted boat-shucking, and not just stabbing the boat to see what'd happen or because they don't like it.

Mumbo and Grian hit it off, Mumbo seeming to have a crush at first sight - he's so flustered when Grian talks to him the first time!

Grian's been telling Mumbo all about his research, and Mumbo's been telling Grian all about his studies, and they've been getting along really well and even starting to cautiously flirt and go out to places together. Mumbo has tales about the mess half the fishing boats in the area are in, some people just don't maintain their boats right.

And then one day Grian spots the genius seal caught in a fishing net and, well, he dives down to save them. Just in time to see them try to save themself by turning into Mumbo the boat mechanic. Turns out selkies are real. At least the different shape means he's less stuck so they can free him easier.

And just to make it worse: Mumbo's the genius seal who's been on his boat in seal form before, multiple times, starting when Grian was just starting out his research and had no idea how smart these seals were. And messed with Grian's stuff. Grian had called him a "glorious chonker" and "beauty" and "smarter than a Grian" to his face. Which was his first meeting with Mumbo apparently. No wonder he'd been so flustered the first time he worked on Grian's boat! And several other times after!

(Though now he has a new research avenue: what's with the majority of selkies being unable to take human form? Sure, joining human society enough to study boats was apparently very difficult for Mumbo, but - it'd be a lot easier to make those tools if more than a few of them could have thumbs.)

longpost anon. have some selkie mumbo.

What's even worse - the worst thing ever, actually - is that Mumbo had to rescue Grian. From attempting to rescue Mumbo. Because Grian got caught in the net afterwards.

And now he never lets Grian live it down. He's even started his own "research" paper! On the Study of a Grian. Not only has Grian discovered selkies exist, but apparently they're able to bully him!

Jeez. And Mumbo has to be hot too. Selkies just get it all, huh?

[a-roguish-gambit]

If Remy and Rogue played DnD, who would usally be the DM?

There are 6 people I trust in the x men to be good dms:

1. Jubilee- youngest of them she has trained for years off of DND podcasts. She's very complex fight heavy and encourages tomfoolery in her campaign based on the rule of cool. Her table as a result is usually the one where the most stupid raunchy inside jokes come from.

2. Beast- very by the books dm but God does he have the books memorized and can help you with anything you may have questions about when playing is also forgiving when it comes to death saves. His puzzles are brutal though. The table will frequently devolve into "random bullshit go" logic when they get stuck at a puzzle and beast frequently ends up slamming his head against the table in frustration at them

3. Nightcrawler- if you like roleplay more than fighting or puzzles, he's your dm. He's great at building fun NPCs to roleplay with and very go with the flow, will do player/npc romances and yes, does let the bard seduce whatever sentient monsters they want. the one thing he absolutely does not allow is murder hoboing. He will smite your character mercilessly if you form a habit of it that and make you roll up a new character. He spent a lot of time making these NPCs and if you kill them first thing when meeting them you will suffer his wrath as god of the universe.

4. Jean grey- Incredibly good at coming up with stuff on the fly when the players derail the campaign. Is it because she can read her players minds and has a split second to prepare? Maybe. But she doesn't stop them from trying to do stupid stuff. Just uses it to give her an ability to adjust the story.

5. Storm-if you want a hardcore campaign she's your girl. She is very unforgiving as a dm and usually takes physics mechanics into account, including the weight of gold. She makes.you keep track of your rations as she has a starvation stat that effects your hp and stats. She warns people to have at least two spare characters prepared at any given time.

6. Forge- really really clever dungeons and has great complex villains. His DM "are you sure about that" face sends shivers down his players spines though. He also is totally chill with incorporating as much sci-fi as you like into medieval fantasy settings. He will make it work he promises.

[therealtwobitmatthews]

Twobit and Johnny zesty bestie hc 😈

-They have really fucking stupid inside jokes that twobit brings up a lot and it genuinely annoys pony cause he only has like one inside joke with Johnny ☠️

-I've already said this but twobits mommy LLLOOOVVVEEESS Johnny she sees him as some sweet shy kid

-whenever Johnny comes over she jokes "get it of this while you can" referring the twobits dumbass☠️☠️☠️

-Twobit uses his sticky fingers to steal a ton of things for Johnny like actually warm jackets, non ripped jeans, shoes that actually fit him, because god knows Johnny's parents aren't getting him that

-if Johnny's having issues with socs and twobits there, he let's Johnny take care of it himself🙏🙏 like he whispers to him to just go for it and if it gets physical then he'll step in🙏🙏🙏🙏

-twobit is genuinely so unreasonably disrespectful towards socs it's absolutely insane but Johnny finds it hilarious like twobit will make the most outrageous tomfoolery insult and Johnny's just fucking dying of laughter next to him

-While at Bucks they were waiting for Dallas to go to a drive in and some random drunk guy taught them how to dance

-whenever twobits drunk, Johnny chases off weird guys and guys who wanna fight cause he's trying to get twobit home without a scratch🙏🙏

-(curtsey to @fictionalcharactergraveyard) twobit would call Johnny a runt a lot until Johnny literally threw a small chocolate cake at him and literally all he said was "shi..mb gang please next time use your words😦"

-you know those hc's that time and curly bring the worst out in Dallas and pony? That's what it's like with twobit and Johnny honestly they chased small children and ran from the cops together once 💝💝💝💝💖💖💖💖💖

-they tried baking a cake for the curtis household once and FUCKING FAILED. whatever substance was in the oven fucking exploded bro

[ozzgin]

Hi-! I'm new to this blog, and whew... Didn't expect to see this much monster porn of such degree. I'm impressed!

Oh! But I have a question.

Do you think your monsters would respect your decision to rest if you asked for it? Cause from what I read, your monsters don't think to respect you and your wishes all that much. I believe they only see you as an object to fuck, instead of love, and that's sorta depressing.

What would happen if you wanted to stop but then got gangbanged? Completely disregarding your choice?

Would that account to rape? Wouldn't that traumatize?

Let me first add, for my non-monster pals, that I'm actively working on human content as well. There's just been a sudden influx of monster-related asks, and I've been trying to keep my inbox on a relatively stable number. There will be a little bit of everything.

Now to your question: Absolutely they would respect your decision! You might notice that very few works actually have a noncon tag. There's a lot of "he won't let you go" as an ending cliffhanger, but it's always under the assumption that you're pretty much into whatever tomfoolery is going on either way.

The whole monsterfest trope is a little inside joke stemming from the public property reader, I think. Many were amused by the idea of a Reader who can just fool around with multiple monsters at the same time, so I decided to include it as an option for some future stories as well. The monsters themselves do like you very much, but it's up to you whether to settle with one of them or not. You can check my other monster stories that are more focused on non-horny romance if you're in the mood for that instead.

So basically, you have the freedom to be a 100% certified monster hoe, but this is entirely out of your free will. You can stop anytime you want, you can tone it down, you can purchase a small cottage by the monster realm seaside and crochet custom, horn-fitting winter hats for your unholy husband/wife. You decide.

[adriixboo]

hello everyone. MAMA'S BACK WITH ANOTHER UNDERTALE VISION 😈😈😈😈😈😈 my mind 🤯 exploded.

haha

for context, do you guys know those compilations on instagram (reels) or whatever media, and it's those ones where people are doing the outrageous shit?

like of people doing dumb stuff yet it's absolutely hilarious, the ones that (usually) are a little bit reckless?

---

say y/n befriended the majority, if not all, of the underground. the way that the monsters know of y/n is usually laidback, respectful. so they're cool, calm, and collected, if you will. the calm before the storm, even. hasn't caused any trouble, is a delight to be around.

also say that they have their own undernet account, courtesy of the royal scientist, alphys. on their account, they friended their other friends; alphys, sans, papyrus, undyne, napstablook, mettaton, even muffet and grillby, as well as the majority of snowdin and such. maybe here, y/n convinced alphys, after a bit of explanations, some negotiations here and there, to update the undernet to include stories (yk like insta stories, assuming they did not have that feature), or not, doesn't really matter, normal posts and stories would give the same result possibly

in this case, i like to think of y/n growing a little antsy of the lack of action and bafoonery that they could do.

so, they begin soft-launching their usual antics, stuff that they did before falling to the underground. not saying that they MISS the surface, other than the night sky, sunrises and sunsets. y/n is quite fond of the small life they had made for themselves in the underground, and wouldn't really trade it for the world. but anyway,

they begin posting on their undernet account. some would describe them as... odd maybe, due to the nature of the photos posted. they start off small, photos of them in shopping carts in the middle of a random parking lot. a picture of a traffic cone with a... firework next to it? that raised a little bit of eyebrows, but it is still rather tame. you guys know those abandoned tunnels that have graffiti and were used for raves nd such? yeah there's a photo of y/n in one of them. maybe with some stupid ass captions like "alright who let grandma out the nursing home" or like something idiotically cryptic like "the truth comes out soon." now THAT has heads turning. replies start spilling in like

"grandma????????" "what truth???" "what are u planning??????" these poor citizens don't know what they're getting into

who knows, maybe y/n got a little ahead of themselves because of impatience. so then they just drop the videos of them doing dumb stuff, because "life's just too short. let's play spin the bottle but whoever the bottle sets on, gets to set off a firework and throw it at their friends who are running away from the one who got picked."

yes, that's the video i saw that generated this idea.

so y/n is basically lore dropping on their unsuspecting monster friends, who are either laughing it up, or very concerned for their good friend's wellbeing (mental and physical) the videos range from that firework fiasco, to other shit like running into a stop sign with their face, racing in shopping carts, just overall some good ol' tomfoolery with their friends above ground. yeah y/n misses their friends dearly, but there wasn't much they could do. they caption the posts with "i would like for everyone to witness the person that i was before i fell down here lol. im aching for shenanigans."

queue the replies of the jokingly "?????????? r u stupid"

the y/n the monsters are now viewing in the posts, are practically a complete 180 from the y/n they encounter on a day-to-day basis. unfathomable, but the proof is in the pudding once they witness whatever y/n has in store. the next post is actually a rather cool photo. a 0.5 pic, flash on, at night, y/n sitting in a shopping cart, left leg over the side, head leaning a little to the right, shades on, blunt in hand, joint between their lips😈

@y/n "excited to make some awesome memories with my new friends❤️ can't wait to infect snowdin with my stupidity and awesomeness"

here come the comments (using names bc im lazy and not that creative)

@CoolSkeleton95: "HUMAN Y/N PLEASE DO BE CAREFUL!!!!"

@StrongFish91: "IM OMW."

some are, admittedly more concerned than others, even grillby, the stoic fireman himself expresses his concern for the near future.

@grillbz: "????? Are you okay??"

and y/n being y/n, only responds with

@y/n replying to @grillbz: "hey hotstuff"

who doesn't love flirtin with the flame man😍 anyway

here comes sans asking questions. c'mon dude, y/n's been living with you for so long, you should've expected SOMETHING to happen one of these days.

@sans: "dude?????"

again, cue y/n shamelessly flirting

@y/n replying to @sans: "hey sexy let's kiss"

now, due to the nature of the videos, they posted more examples, y/n is not an idiot. so what if they fucked up a bit of the surface, it's the surface. what they are NOT going to do, is mess up the underground. y/n is still that respectful human the monsters know and care for. y/n is would not wreak havoc on the unsuspecting citizens of the underground in their own home. no, that's reserved for when they do emerge to the surface. when that happens, BACK TO THE PARKING LOT🗣️

but for now, it's time for y/n to scope out for clear land for their idiotic, yet entertaining ideas.

you know who would be SO on board with y/n's ideas? undyne. miss strongfish91 here would do pop in. without a doubt for sure. it only makes sense. her miss alphys is concerned on the side, head in her hands, hoping that their heads don't go flying off

you know who WOULDN'T?? and is instead rather concerned yet can't really do anything about it so they have to hope and pray? sans. sans may be lazy and carefree for the most part, but that doesn't mean he can't be concerned. he cares too much for y/n, he won't admit it outright, it doesn't seem like he needs to because basically more than half the underground can tell because he's just sweating buckets whenever something even remotely mild happens when involving y/n. sans doing damage control, making sure they don't get horribly injured or dies, he still has that promise to keep.

cmon man, live a little for ur best friend's crush's sake

i feel like papyrus would also join in on the fun, occasionally. he would also be worried for the human's health. like he's mildly concerned about it, but would go with it. he's like that middleman almost. he kind of strikes me as that guy who would first try to sway around, a little hesitant, but will absolutely go all in with just a simple "PLEEEASEEEE???" yeah he's not missing out on the fun at all, papyrus 2024💯💯💯

grillby on the side in his pub, sighing. he's concerned, a bit worried about the results, but would give a chuckle here and there. i love grillby ohmygoodness

more shenanigans ensue. y/n is about to spice things up around here, give them something new.

----

apologies if this is on the illegible side, it's roughly 2:30am and i spent almost an hour on this bc i was focusing on not freezing my ass off 😔 im warm now but at what cost

i think i'll edit this later or add more soon 😫 i have a headache

it would be hilariously awesome to see this as a one-shot. just pure crack and fluff

💋 kisses grillby 💋 kisses sans 💋

OK GOODNIGHT😫 love yall

[neonscandal]

What are your satosugu fav moments? And what are your fav personal headcanons about them?

Those sweet, egotistical, baby angels. 🤍🖤

For an insane retelling of their whole deal, I kinda talk incessantly about it. I also kinda did a little head canon exercise with a template before? but wasn't sure what you might be in the market for. In any case, roll the tape!

HEAD CANONS

Gojo has been spouting nonsense all his life but Geto was the first person to try to understand it, even when he couldn't. I'm not going to fault Geto for not being able to catch up on all that Digimon lore. But for the most part, he'd make it a point to ask clarifying questions or brush up on topics Gojo mentions in passing just to keep up with conversation.

In fact, they hated each other when they first met but bonded over one off the cuff comment Gojo made about a band, book or something and, suddenly, they found common ground. After that, they bonded over making Yaga and, later, Nanami's lives interesting ✨

Gojo is the prankster, Geto is the watchman/getaway driver. No one suspects Geto's role in Gojo's tomfoolery. Stealing Maki and Nobara's uniforms with Inumaki and Panda was a rewash of a stunt he pulled when he was in high school (with Geto's help). He fashions a lot of the pranks he pulls as a teacher off the hijinks he and Geto used to get away with. He wears a mirthful smile for his students but the modern times don't hold a candle to the good old days.

They were only children and both of their parents sucked. Actually, maybe Geto had a sibling who was either significantly older or younger (hence how he learned to be so considerate) who passed. Subsequently, Geto's parents were emotionally distant/neglectful starting when they got creeped out by the inexplicable things he could see that they couldn't. It's why he jumped at the chance when he was scouted for Jujutsu High, why he was triggered when he saw the twins, and why he always sought family elsewhere. Gojo's parents seemed to dote on him but didn't bother to get to know or nurture him, just placate him.

They make it a point to tease and call Ieri the little sister they've always wanted... though she is the oldest in the trio. Even so, they spoil her (to the best of Gojo's ability obviously). Example: if her feet hurt on a mission, Geto is giving her a piggyback ride but Gojo's goofy ass is trading shoes. Never mind the comical disparity in shoe sizes. They'd just be clopping around together much to Shoko's faux chagrin.

The three of them would absolutely bed rot together. It may have started with Gojo slinking into Geto's room for attention but they wouldn't leave Ieri out, even if it was a twin size bed. Just listless days between missions and classes where they would languidly ignore the weight of their responsibilities. Some days all contorting to fit on the bed, other days strewn about the room. It was always in Geto's room, Ieri almost always brought face masks (at Gojo's insistence).

Gojo, quite literally, did not understand the concept of personal space when it came to Geto (or Ieri, really). But, most specifically, with the way he'd casually and absently be all over Geto. Arms over his shoulders, tilting his head inward when addressing him, leaning on him during respites in the day, elbowing him in the side to punctuate a joke.. he just never became conscious of it. That is, until he was no longer around. Geto was always like second skin until he wasn't. In addition to the absence of his company, Gojo felt that physical absence so painfully that he used Limitless more and more to distance himself from the idea that anyone had ever been so close.

When Haibara and Nanami come along, Geto takes his role as a senpai really seriously because the stakes are high at the school. Gojo? Does not ✨ but he does force Nanami to use proper honorifics because he knows it drives him up a wall. He makes it a point to tell Haibara to call him whatever, right in front of Nanami. For the record, Haibara does not obey him but still.

Gojo has a name for all of Geto's favorite or most commonly used curses. The same way girls will refer to their crushes with silly little code names, almost. Like Geto knows that the Rainbow Dragon curse is "Rainbow Dash" or "My Little Pony" whereas other curses might have silly names like "Garfunkle" or "Steve" for no other reason than Gojo felt like it, but he's consistent. So once a name is bestowed, Geto refers to them accordingly. He, of course, never approaches them with fear and he's just as endeared to them as he is to Geto.

Before Gojo got the hang of how to optimize his cursed energy, overuse would leave him... not weak but just not agreeable. Clearly cranky and suffering the drawback, Suguru clocked the difference and that's actually when he started to pamper Gojo. It's also the only reason Gojo ever articulated the downsides of his CT to anyone. I don't know if Geto ever told Gojo the extent of his discomfort with his technique. He either felt like he was being burdensome/ungrateful in sharing or he was embarrassed about what it would say about him (re: regularly ingesting things that tasted like vomit). It's one of the only things he remained furtive about when it came to Gojo though he always wondered if Gojo already just knew.

Supported by canon, but, Suguru absolutely carried candy for Satoru (and a lighter for Shoko) because he's just that considerate. Mans was swallowing vomit rags and still concerned about appeasing Satoru's sweet tooth.

Without realizing it, this gesture inspired a Pavlovian effect and made Gojo super clingy. He associates sweetness with Geto and, in his absence, always overdoes it. Especially after he left the school for good. Nothing fills the void.

We know Gojo became a teacher because of Geto but... Geto would have been an excellent teacher.

You see it in the way they raise kids, Gojo makes sure Megumi and Tsumiki don't simply die. They have lavish accommodations but he has no idea how to parent. I love the Papa-Gojo agenda but know he was out of his depth. He was more like a "cool" but irresponsible (read: unstructured) older cousin if anything, not a father figure per se until maybe his late 20's which was a little too late. I think Geto specifically raised Nanako and Himiko like "normal" kids (ironically, humans) instead of the in the misogynistic, classist way of traditional jujutsu society because they deserved a lifetime of young revelry after everything they suffered. It cost them their lives so maybe everything Geto touched was meant to crumble.

As a fandom, I think people like to think they met up in those ten years of separation and I do too? But, realistically, I think Gojo just kept a forlorn bead on Geto and his whereabouts, too uncertain to go to him. 10 years of absence didn't change how he felt about him though.

FAVE MOMENTS

I'm sorry but every single time Geto's Japanese voice actor purrs "Satoru"? Does that count? Allow me to do a cartwheel on a bed of nails because OH MY GOSH they nailed that. You feel the teasing, the intimacy.

Gojo acting a fool on the beach with Riko in Okinawa and Geto looking on affectionately. Geto really allowed space for Gojo to be a kid and gave him some of his youth back.

Every time Geto's facade of calm relaxed or broke entirely because something was going on with Gojo. Like checking in in Okinawa, when Toji initially got the drop on him, when Toji announced he'd killed Satoru Gojo. Every time you see what writhes beneath the surface.

Geto, in a sea of despair and perhaps a sprinkle of bitterness, still thinks to ask Haibara to bring back something sweet to share with Gojo. Attentive to a fault and crazy how Gojo still manages to occupy his thoughts in that way, even then.

Every tantrum Gojo threw for Geto. Gojo was literally stabbed and didn't break character. Gutted and killed but showed nothing until he comes back an overconfident mess. But just hearing about Geto's crimes, confronting him on the streets of Shinjuku and he's shaking with rage and disbelief. Not so confident then.

Realizing that Gojo saw the day he confronted Geto as a dark and mournful day when, in actuality, it was a perfectly normal, sunshine-y day.

The moment after Geto's dramatic ass is like "I could never smile from the bottom of my heart in this world!" and Gojo says something to immediately recant that by making him smile so genuinely. Just going to do The Worm across a busy highway.

Geto defying all reason to strangle Kenjaku despite hundreds of years without a fight from a host. Just as Gojo never forgot Geto's scent, Geto's body never forgot it's inclination to protect Gojo. Even if only for a moment.

⚠️ Spoiler warning through JJK chapter 236.

Geto's face being the last face Gojo saw before he was sealed and the first face he saw upon being freed. Then agreeing to fight Sukuna on the anniversary of Geto's death because he was sentimental right until the very end.

At the close of Gojo's life, imagining an afterlife where he sees Geto and all of the people he cares about during the point when he was the happiest. After all that time, more than a decade later and he still reflects so happily back on that era despite how grisly part of it was. Not only that but, in a perfect outcome, he imagines full blown cult leader Geto congratulating him because he would take Geto in any form over not having him around at all.

[ut-girl666]

EthGoesBoom crew as Incorrect Quotes

Mainly Focused on FNAF 1 band, BB, Goldie, and Puppet

«—-–-—»

Bonnie: so cool, so cool, so cool, so cool, so cool, so cool–

Foxy: Bonnie, what are you doing?

Bonnie: *keeps saying “so cool”*

Foxy: Bonnie.

Bonnie: *keeps saying “so cool”*

Foxy: Bonnie!

Bonnie: *still saying “so cool”*

Foxy: *reaching his hands around Bonnie’s throat* SHUT THE FUCK UP, BONNIE!

[reference]

«—-–-—»

Springtrap/William Afton: and without looking up at me, my very first creation just said:

Golden Freddy: *still reading his newspaper* you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.

«—-–-—»

*Puppet talking to Fredbear*

Puppet: I am very small.

Puppet: and [one of our makers is a murderer] I have no money.

Puppet: so you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under.

«—-–-—»

*After the murders in 1987 / at FNAF 2 Location*

Puppet: Hold the fuck up.

Goldie: Excuse me?

Puppet: I said hold the fuck up.

Goldie:

Puppet, cradling a dead child’s body, a waterfall of tears streaming down his face: I'm the fuck up, hold me.

«—-–-—»

Puppet: You know, studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun.

Puppet: That's why I own TEN guns.

Puppet: Just in case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder.

«—-–-—»

Goldie: What are you writing?

Puppet: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the pizzeria. I'm letting them know it's private information.

Goldie, looking over Puppet's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

«—-–-—»

Foxy: The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens.

«—-–-—»

Cop: You ran a red light.

Foxy: So did you, hypocrite.

Cop: I was following you.

Foxy: That was dumb, l'm a terrible driver.

Cop: Get out.

«—-–-—»

Bonnie: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems.

BB: Weight loss? Drink water.

Freddy: Clear skin? Drink water.

Foxy: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.

«—-–-—»

Foxy to Bonnie: Me? I'm the bee knees, but, you? You're just...

Puppet: Cockroach ankles!

Foxy: Ye– uh, what?

«—-–-—»

BB: Is five a lot of followers?

Puppet: Depends on the context.

Puppet: On Instagram? No, not a lot of followers.

Puppet: In a dark alley? Yes, a lot of followers.

«—-–-—»

Freddy: Foxy isn't answering my calls.

BB: Let me try!

Freddy: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi-

Foxy: *picking up after the first ring* Hello.

«—-–-—»

Puppet: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery. I am going to revoke your life privileges.

«—-–-—»

Foxy: If you think I'm playing favorites, you're wrong. I like all of you equally!

Foxy, earlier: I don't care for Bonnie.

«—-–-—»

Puppet: I was just diagnosed with deez.

Foxy: Good, I hope it's lethal.

«—-–-—»

Villain/Antagonist: Nothing in life is free.

Bonnie: Love is free.

Goldie: Knowledge is free.

Puppet: Friendship is free.

Foxy: Self-respect is free.

BB: Everything's free if you don't pay for it.

The Squad: ...

Freddy: BB, that's illegal-

Foxy: No no, let him finish!

«—-–-—»

Chica: BB was in a fight!

Freddy: Oh no, that's terrible!

Foxy: Did he win?!

«—-–-—»

Goldie: Are you sure this is safe?

Puppet: Safer than Flintstone vitamin gummies in a bottle.

Puppet: Keep twisting, junior! All you're gonna get is clicks.

«—-–-—»

Foxy: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Freddy: >:O language!

BB: Yeah, watch your fucking language.

Foxy: Okay, who taught BB the fuck word?!

Bonnie: 'The fuck word'.

Goldie: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time.

Foxy: Oh my god he censored it

Chica: Say fuck, Golden Freddy.

Foxy: Do it, Golden Freddy. Say fuck.

«—-–-—»

Toy Chica: I'm having problems with a guy...

Mangle: Like his dead body won't fit into your trunk kind of problems, or you like him kind of problems?

«—-–-—»

*Golden Freddy is trying to give Freddy a mentor-student pep-talk*

Goldie: You've got to learn to love yourself.

Freddy: But don't you hate yourself?

Goldie: Yes, but this is about you. Stay focused.

«—-–-—»

*The Crew at Disneyland, in the teacups*

Goldie, Freddy, and Toy Freddy: *spinning a little and talking*

Foxy, BB, Bonnie, Candy, and Puppet: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

«—-–-—»

Chica, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

«—-–-—»

Goldie: This is a very powerful artifact. You'd be messing with some forces we don't fully understand.

Foxy: That sounds like a dare to me.

Goldie: *facepalming* Oh my god.

«—-–-—»

Foxy: Hey there demons, It's me, ya boi.

Bonnie: Foxy, NO!

«—-–-—»

Foxy: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose.

«—-–-—»

Foxy: Don't worry, I have a permit.

*Goldie and Freddy both look it over*

Goldie: *levels Foxy with an unimpressed stare*

Freddy: ...This just says "I can do what I want".

«—-–-—»

Foxy, holding a kettle: Coffee or tea?

Toy Freddy: Tea.

Foxy: Wrong. It's coffee.

«—-–-—»

Chica: You didn't cry when bambi's mother died?!

Foxy, sarcastically: Yes, it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer.

«—-–-—»

Bonnie: Hey, are you okay?

Foxy: Yeah.

Bonnie: You don't look okay...

Foxy: Then stop looking.

«—-–-—»

*Goldie, Puppet, and Spring Bonnie are in yet another argument about ST/WA*

Spring Bonnie: You know what you two’s problem is?

Puppet: We only have one?

«—-–-—»

Candy: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?

Freddy: *crouches down*

Puppet: *lowers into a kneeling position like he’s in his box*

Goldie: *moves into a sitting position in the air and lowers to be at eye level*

Candy:

Candy: I hate all of you.

«—-–-—»

JJ: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable!

JJ: ...and also assault with a deadly weapon.

«—-–-—»

BB: Puppet won't wake up, what do I do?

Foxy: Did you try kicking them?

BB: Yes.

Foxy: I'm out of ideas.

«—-–-—»

Chica: Last night, I had a dream about sandwich pizza.

Goldie: What?

Chica: It was pizza with bread on the top and the bottom.

Goldie: So a calzone?

Chica: You can't just name things I dream up.

«—-–-—»

*Mike/Micheal is making a phone call to Mary (FNAC SG)*

Mike: It is 5:09.

Mike: I am wondering why l'm still alive.

Mike: Send Wendy's.

Chica: The whole restaurant?!

«—-–-—»

Bonnie: Hey Foxy, can you give me the opposite of these words?

Bonnie: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.

Foxy: Never, Going, To, Give, You-

Foxy: *realizes*

Foxy: The fucking satisfaction.

«—-–-—»

Freddy: Which country has the most birds?

Freddy: Portu-geese!

Bonnie: That's a language.

Freddy: Portu-gull?

BB: Good recovery.

Chica: I think you mean good re-dovery.

Foxy: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

«—-–-—»

Chica: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked.

Freddy: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right?

Chica: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time.

BB: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy!

Bonnie: ...put it away.

«—-–-—»

Puppet: I told Foxy that his ears glow when he lies.

Toy Bonnie: Do they?

Puppet: No.

Toy Bonnie: Then why did you tell him that?

Puppet: Because I can do this–

Puppet: –Hey Foxy! Do you love us?

Foxy, with his hands over his ears: No.

«—-–-—»

Foxy: You are, of course, wondering why it is I have brought you here tonight.

Bonnie: Actually, Foxy, after all these years, I just sort of go with it.

«—-–-—»

Foxy: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes-

Foxy: -or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

Chica: No, that's not how you make cookies.

BB: FLOOR IT!!

Foxy: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?

Freddy: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE PIZZERIA DOWN-

Foxy: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!

BB: DO IT!

Bonnie: NO-

*Goldie scolds them all very harshly for their stupidity afterwards*

«—-–-—»

{Either not long before, or after the last one happens}

Freddy: Hey, Golden Freddy, have you thought about what it’d be like having children?

Goldie: ...

Goldie: Does looking over you and the others not seem like I already do? Because I promise you, it sure feels like it.

Freddy: But we're not childr-

Goldie, already distracted, and beginning to go stop it: BONNIE, PUT THE FIRE DOWN!

«—-–-—»

Foxy: Why are you wearing glasses?

Goldie: Errr… I’m doing the taxes…?

Foxy: Taxes?

Foxy: I didn't know you could do taxes.

Goldie: *unimpressed look*

«—-–-—»

BB to Springtrap: If looking good was a crime, you'd be a law abiding citizen.

«—-–-—»

Bonnie: What did you guys get ranked by the kids?

Chica: 'Prettiest Smile'.

Freddy: 'Nicest Personality'.

Foxy: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'.

Goldie: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'.

«—-–-—»

Freddy: How would you like your coffee?

Candy: As dark as my soul.

Freddy: Got it, one cup of milk coming right up!

«—-–-—»

Bonnie: I have a bad feeling about this...

Foxy: What do you mean?

Bonnie: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?

Foxy: No?

Chica: That actually explains so much.

«—-–-—»

Foxy: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.

«—-–-—»

*While the Squad is in a battle*

Foxy, trying to warn about the location of an enemy: To the left!

Bonnie: Take it back now y'all!

«—-–-—»

Bonnie: Foxy...

Foxy: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed.

Foxy: Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck.

«—-–-—»

Bonnie: It's impossible to make a sentence without using the letter A.

Goldie: Despite your thinking, while difficult, it is quite possible to form one without the specific letter. Here's one more to further disprove your theory.

Foxy: Fuck you.

«—-–-—»

Bonnie: I'm not stupid, you know.

Foxy: Well, you're doing a really good impression of it!

«—-–-—»

Freddy: I'm gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

Goldie: *puts a hand on his shoulder*

Goldie: No.

Goldie: No, you’re not.

«—-–-—»

Foxy: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.

Foxy, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

«—-–-—»

Puppet and Goldie, entering the room: *Sees Springtrap and leaves*

Springtrap, watching Puppet and Goldie leave: There's my monthly dose of Puppet and Golden Freddy...

«—-–-—»