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ranboo5 · 3 years

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hot take ranboo can be upset that tubbo hasn't felt as happy during the time he spent married to him as he was back when the pranks on the server wouldn't escalate into war but it's incredibly self-centered to think that he hasnt been happy because of him whwn since they got married nearly died again, his best friend actually died after wanting closure, he lost a whole nuclear weapon, and his husband still hasn't moved in with him and he's bored out of his mind and afraid for his son and he wants something to Do. Las Nevadas is shady at best and likely not what he needs mentally and Ranboo made him plenty happy but Ranboo is upset over a couple tulips not being able to magically take away his husband's trauma and he kinda needs to get over himself

OH NOW THIS IS FUN

Bc on one hand: SO FUCKING TRUE! Ranboo IS self centered and Ranboo IS expecting himself to Be Enough for the guy when as you mentioned Tubbo has SO much shit going on and no matter how hard Ranboo believes in the I Can Fix Him he's setting himself up for exactly this

But on the other hand: that's not really the totality of what he's upset about

There's an important component that Ranboo isn't upset At Tubbo as much as he is upset In General (though there's definitely some bitterness At Tubbo most likely lmao); he's worried for Tubbo, very understandably, and he's not just been told "yeah I have emotional needs outside of u lol"

He's been told essentially that the only thing Tubbo will/can accept as smth to make him happy is the sheer concept of allegiance to smth that will never give back, which isn't just a sign of Ranboo failing (in his own eyes) to be a good husband/friend but also a sign of him failing to do literally anything abt the whole sides issue. “People not sides” vs “yeah I am emotionally reliant on sides.” Also Tubbo signing over the outpost w/o even telling Ranboo is also a risk factor AND smth that affects something Ranboo worked on profusely that discounts the effort Ranboo put in For Tubbo's Sake. It's not just "I can be happy somewhere else/I need more than you to be happy" is the thing; what Ranboo got conveyed was "nothing you did mattered"

And hell even being fuckt up abt the I Can Fix Him component is understandable considering the context in which the I Can Fix Him cmponent exists and what that means to Ranboo yk? That's a high-stakes and incredibly significant thing to Ranboo and it's getting discounted along with his work on the outpost and in general everythin he's done

Mind you Tubbo doesn't mean to dismiss any of these things; as u say it's completely understandable lmao and again no matter how much Ranboo hopes he cannot in fact fix the guy. Tubbo doesn't recognize how this reads, he doesn't recognize LNV for the threat it is, he doesn't know what the hell is going on in Ranboo's head irt the whole people not sides thing, and he doesn't register his dismissal of Ranboo's efforts as significant both bc it's debatable if he registers Ranboo's efforts at all lmao and bc of the ways Tubbo himself has been treated. He doesn't Recognize what he's doing is upsetting and borderline callous and is certainly not doing it out of malice or out of not caring abt Ranboo

But Ranboo has just had it commiunicated to him that his husband is choosing the concept of a side over him. It's actually got some interesting parallels to the Green Festival betrayal now tht I think aboutit; it's not as like hardkey in these things but like. The issue isn't that the guy has made a choice it's that the guy has made a choice to support and stand by the exact powerstructure that threatens both parties involved, to your face, while apparently not recognizing or caring about all the effort you put in for his sake and his safety over and over in large part thanklessly

And that shit fuckin' sucks and yk what? It IS his party and he WILL cry if he wants to cry if he wants to cry if he wants to and tbh you probably WOULD cry too if it happened to you ik I would

Tl;dr: My guy Ranboo got cucked by the abstract concept of nationalism and as much of a self-centered prick he might be+as much as he set himself up for this and made it so much worse for himself w/ his self importance, I think b/w the factz that that's not the only reason it sucks for him rn+that even that reason isn't a factor for no reason, you do gotta have some sympathy for the poor man he tried so hard and got so far and in the end it didn’t even matter

#Dream SMP #Ranboo #RanbooLive #for the approval of the forum #rereading this and this is actually a maintaggable take

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facepalming-since-chernobyl · 3 years

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So I was watching some older episodes from seasons 1-3. And I know a lot of people choose to deny it. But I think Kara might actually be interested in men. Like not just as friends. But in a romantic way. I’ve done some research. There’s this thing called heterosexuality. And I think that might be Kara’s sexual preference. I know. What a shocker. Can you even imagine it? A woman who on this show has only ever shown interest in men and only dated men and been in love with one man on the, might actually be heterosexual. Such a revelation.

Anon, you made me laugh. A+ xD

I mean, yes, she said she is not gay, but her sexuality was not established by her yelling form the rooftoop that she only likes dicks, and I got impression this is what a character needs to do these days.

Joking aside, I would love to see Kara with a girl, I'm staring at Kate Kane Wallis edition. I have no problem with Kara liking women. I have a problem with Kara liking a womna who was her abuser. Also, all people can idenify a character and his/her sexuality as they want and it's a GOOD thing. The problem is when they start being fanatics aboutit.

Anyway, Kara had sex with Mon-El, morning after she was glowing like radioactive christmas tree and that's canon bitches. Dumbbelss can cry about it.

#anons #anti sc fandom #toxicorps

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kurokonbscenarios · 4 years

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Cross over scenario between aomine and ushiwaka, when aomine meet his ex wife who's ushiwaka gf now, they two go to park with a little boy who looks like aomine (his son, he and his ex wife divorced when she was on her 2 weeks pregnancy).. What should ahomine do? Thanks

far away | Aomine Daiki / Ushijima Wakatoshi x f!reader

genre: angst | hurt/comfort | slice of life | word count: 2.2knotes: huh so I’ve been in a bit of a knb mood these days and went over the requests and was like “oooh i like this one” so I hope you’ll like it! -T-chan

Itwas pure coincidence. The kind that makes Aomine wonder how much he messed upfor you to actually agree to the divorce those four years ago. Did you evenintend to tell him the news?

A memory of you smiling at himresurfaces and Aomine curses under his breath, because it was that same momenthe told you about the divorce. The way happiness and all the love you had forhim left your eyes makes his heart ache. How much of an idiot he was back then.

But now he can’t do anything aboutit. Not when a stoic man stands beside you as you stare inside a childrenstore. There’s an obvious bump that Aomine can’t miss, but the boy, the boythe man holds in his arms, so painfully similar to all those pictures from hischildhood with his eyes, hair, the dark skin tell him more than any words evercould.

He sees the boy laugh at somethingthe man said and you smiling at them and his heart aches at the sight. You lookso happy and he’s jealous, because that could have been himbeside you. And the worst thing is he can recognize the man that has your wholeattention. It’s one and only Wakatoshi Ushijima, Schweiden Adlers’ wing spiker,the one that rose to his fame already in high school.

“I know I’m not perfect by a wholemile when it comes to us, but I’ll be the happiest man there ever is if you’llbe mine and I’ll do my best to not make you cry constantly.”

There are tears in your eyes andyou laugh before you fall on your knees and wrap arms around him. You nod yourhead and you continue to do so, chanting silent “yes” as Aomine slips a ring onyour left ring finger.

“I’m the luckiest man there is.” Hemurmurs into the crook of your neck before he pulls away and kisses you on thelips. You return it immediately, surrounding yourself into his warm embrace andinto the heat of the moment, feeling the happiest you could ever be.

Something stirs inside Aomine whenUshijima leans down and kisses you on the cheek. It makes you laugh and mostlikely shy as well, if that flustered expression on your face is anything totell him. It’s the way you smack Ushijima’s arm that makes Aomine’s head fillwith jealousy, because that could have been him. But it isn’t. Andhe has no one else to blame than himself.

Voices were raised and a picturewas thrown, hitting Aomine’s cheek. His eyes flashed in anger and yours widenedin shock and surprise because the next moment he stood in front of you, hisfist right beside your head.

“Stop pushing your luck.”

“I’m worried about you,Daiki!” you didn’t want to stand down, not when it came to his well being.“You’ve been at the station for the last couple of days, I barely see youanymore!”

“It’s my job, damn it! What do youwant me to do? Huh? What? Do you want me to leave our only income and remainjobless like you are?”

The words spoken made your lipspart, but unable to say anything. You blinked with your eyes, trying hard tostop the sudden emotions that overwhelmed you, Aomine too blinded by his angerto see what he had said.

“You know I can’t find a job yet.Not with my diploma.”

“Then find something. Retailwork, for all I care.” He groans and goes with hand through his hair. “Or goback home.”

You scowled. “Screw you, Daiki.”You turned and walked into the bedroom, slamming the door behind.

Aomine stared at you before hegrabbed the lamp close to him and threw it against the wall.

Turning at the sound of a familiarvoice, Aomine spots Kuroko and Kise walking towards him. They’re talking toeach other, or what it seems like until Kuroko spots Aomine’s sullenexpression. He raises an eyebrow and it catches Kise’s attention as well,because suddenly he’s bombed with questions for his well-being.

“’m fine…” he grunts andunconsciously looks your way only to spot you staring at him.

Your eyes are wide, like you’resurprised to see him before you turn to Ushijima and tell him something. Itmust have been regarding him, Aomine realizes, because Ushijima is also lookingat him, frown quite visible on that stoic expression and Aomine wants to leave.But he can’t. Because Maji burger just happens to be right behind him.

“Oh…” It’s Kise who murmurs. “Whydon’t we go ahead, Kurokocchi?”

“We’ll be inside, Aomine-kun.”

All Aomine can do is nod as hewatches you cross the street in a rather quick pace. Ushijima is standingthere, across the street, his attention completely on you, until you stand infront of him. A chill runs down Aomine’s spine at the attention he’s gettingfrom the man, but it’s expected when it comes to your safety.

“Hi,” Your voice is quiet, almostwhisper-like, and Aomine finds it hard to suppress the need to hold you in hisarms right at this moment.

Your sobs reached his ears andAomine sighed. He leaned his forehead on the door, biting his lower as hewondered what to say. Then again is it his right to apologize?

“[Name]…” he called your name.

“Go away.” Your voice is cold andAomine sighed again. “I don’t wanna see you.”

“Come out. Let’s talk.”

There’s silence before the doorbursts open, startling him. Tears stained your cheeks, your glare neversubsiding as you held a suitcase behind yourself.

“What are you doing?” he frowned asyou pushed past him.

“Leaving, what else.” Short answersthat made his heart ache.

“No, wait, you-you can’t leavenow.” He grabbed your wrist, but you snatched it from his grip. “It’s lateand-and you don’t have a place to go to.”

You scoffed, shaking your head.“Three years, Daiki.” Your voice was too cold. “Three years of our marriage andyou ask for a divorce. Ten years of us being together and you want us toseparate. What did I ever do wrong? Can you tell me that? Was it because I wasworried about your wellbeing when you overworked like in Teiko and Tōō? Or wasit because I’m jobless?”

Every word you spoke felt likesomeone was cutting him alive. He was unable to answer, to tell you and youtook the chance to walk to the hallway, sniffling.

“P-please…” he stuttered when youreached for the doorknob. “Don’t go.”

You hesitated and looked back athim. “I can’t do this, Daiki.” You released the suitcase like you remembered itonly then that you still had it. Taking off the ring, you placed it on thecloset beside the entrance, tears streaming down your cheeks. “I tried. I reallydid try. But I can’t help you if you continue to destroy yourself like yourhealth and I mean nothing to you.”

“I’m sorry.” Aomine blurts outbefore you can say another word.

Your eyes widen, but the expressionquickly softens and a small smile spreads across your lips. You shake yourhead, looking directly into his eyes. “There’s nothing to apologize for. Wewere young. We didn’t know what we were doing.”

“But I still love you” is whatAomine wants to say, but he knows he can’t. Instead he looks across the streetand sees Ushijima talking to the boy and pointing at something in the store.It’s a small pink dress he realizes and his heart misses a beat. A baby girl.

“When…” he starts, but stops. Heclears his throat, feeling eyes from inside the Maji burger and he has a suddenneed to leave. He feels like suffocating the longer he stares at the boy. “Whendid you find out?” he chokes on the words.

Your silence is too much for him.“The day you asked for divorce.”

“Shit…” he curses and goes withhand through his hair.

There’s a silent laugh and he looksat you. “I can’t say I was angry and devastated, but I can’t deny I feel gladyou feel bad about it.” Your smile doesn’t reach your eyes and Aomine wants tosnap, because how the fuck could he mess up like that. He had everything and he ruined it.

“I’m sorry.” Is all he can say, andthen; “I know you’re with … Ushijima, but if I can, I want to support you.”

You watch him in silence before youanswer; “He knows the truth.” At that his eyes widen. “I thought about it longand hard, both alone and with Toshi and we decided to tell him. You don’t haveto support us, I have a job with good-income—I can also work from home—andJunpei is a good child. He can’t wait to meet his baby sister.” You smile andcaress your stomach as you look down fondly.

There’s a moment of silence beforeyou look back at him.

“Although he thinks of Toshi as hisfather, I hope that when he’s older, and if he wants to meet you, you won’tdeny his request. That’s all I ask of you.” Your voice is almost pleading andAomine can’t find himself to deny that request.

“I-I’ll try.” he says instead andyou smile. The same smile you used to give him years ago.

“[Name],” A voice calls from acrossthe street and you turn only for your smile to widen. Junpei is calling for youas well and waving while Ushijima’s expression is that of a fond partner andfather.

“I’m coming!” You call back andthen you turn back to Aomine. “Thank you, Daiki.” Your voice is so soft, sokind that it makes his heart skip a beat and eyes burn from a sudden wave ofemotions.

“There’s nothing to thank me for.”

“There is.” You nod, disagreeingwith him. “Contact me when you’re ready to be part of his life. I know Junpeiwould like that very much. So does Toshi.”

Aomine chuckles and shakes hishead. “Does he really?” he asks and looks at Ushijima, who’s staring at youboth. “Does he really want me to be part of his life?” he looks at you and seespain flash through your eyes. He curses silently for causing you to make thatsame expression.

“Daiki,” you call quietly and reachfor his hand. “I loved you so much. It broke me when I saw you overwork both inschool and at work. When you spent nights at the station, I was at the end ofmy nerves, hoping and praying for you to be safe wherever you are, thinkingthat maybe there’s another case that held you back. When I found out I waspregnant, I was so happy, because suddenly our family grew.” You’re smiling atthe memory only for it to disappear.

And Aomine doesn’t need to guesswhat you remember.

“And then you come home and ask fora divorce. I spent so many days and nights crying and thinking that I must havedone something wrong or that you fell out with me and it hurt. It hurt so muchto realize that I meant nothing to you anymore. I had no idea what to do. Iwanted to ask Satsuki, Tetsuya, anyone for some clue or something, but I couldn’t. Icouldn’t involve them when this was between us. You’ve been so cold to me inthat week and I’m still wondering if it was me after all this time.”

“No,” Aomine shakes his head andcups your face. He closes his eyes and sighs, leaning his forehead on yours.“It was never you, believe me on that. I truly am sorryfor what I did to you and I have no excuse. If he makes you happy, then that isall I wish for you.”

Releasing your face, he smiles onlyto spot tears in your eyes. He internally panics, but then you chuckle andshake your head.

“You constantly make me worry.” Yousigh. “Even after all this time.”

“I’ll try not to.” This time hegrins and messes your hair that makes you grimace. “I want to be part ofJunpei’s life if that is his wish.” He says after a moment, his composure justa bit straighter. I want to bepart of yours as well. He wantsto say only for; “If Ushiwaka makes you cry, tell me. I’ll beat his ass.” toleave his lips.

You roll your eyes, laughing.“Can’t believe you’re calling him like that as well.”

Ushijima calls your name once more.You nod his way and before Aomine can say a word, you’re pulling him in a tightembrace.

“Thank you, Daiki.”

He’s speechless and all he can dois watch you cross the street. He sees Ushijima talk to you, must have askedyou something, because you’re smiling so wide and shaking your head beforeyou’re leaning closer to Junpei and kissing his forehead. Jealousy grows insideAomine at the sight of seeing Ushijima smiling at you two, but there’s nothinghe can do.

He can only wish for yourhappiness, although a part of him wishes for you to run back into his embrace.

#Aomine Daiki #Ushijima Wakatoshi #kurokonbscenarios #Kuroko no Basket #Aomine x reader #Ushijima x reader #T-chan #que sera sera ey #Anonymous

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semi-personal · 3 years

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we made it “home”

we mde it to our temp home! we are safe and mostly ok. phisicly speaking weare all fine. mentally speaking im in shambls.. i may have grown up here nut i dont think it helps that i went back t the place that made most of my life problems ngl..

but the good in the en-liked situation is that i get to see my family and other people i care about alot! and plus since im right across from my old church i can go to see my ward family again, and trust me when i say, its been really nice. i havnt seen a whole lot of them due to moving and being in a panarama .. so the fact i got to go to cchurch and see my chirch family was amazing to me and helped boost my mood by a whole ton and a half.

this year due to many things in the recent years im hoping and prating i get the opertonity i want! im not going to say what it is for my saftey but know its a ood thing!! it will keep me safe and keep me more sane than going back to the; unliked situation that i was last few years lol.

im not gunna lie moving back to my old area has put me in a bad state mentally. its mostly due to the area it self. its known for drugs and shootings and more problems. so being back here kind puts this weird feeling back to me.. thankfully tho its only temparary! not gunna reveal to much aboutit but im happy none the less!!

i hope to who ever is reading these tht you all may understand what im talking about, im not gunna lie. i dont always know what im typing lol. i kinda just let my hans move and let my brain do its own type of word vomit as if i were talking in front of my mom or a person im really close to..

one thing i cant seem to get my head around right now is honesty.. not the fact that im not honest but the fact that people will say they want honesty but when you give it to them they get mad . may it be because it didnt fit there naritive or because it wasnt what they wanted to hear.. very confusing to me..

im trying to do more activitys that help me get my feelings out with out harming my slef or others. i learned that in aot of cases it can either do alot or nothing.. i also learned that in some cases it can also be very hard for me to find something that wont harm or something other.. if that made sense lol..

im going to leave this unedited... sorry not sorry. <3 gl

#word vomit #idk #what was i trying to say in this?#i prob need therapy again #expect to see more of these i think #i like to talk ngl #nvm thats kinda a no shit sherlck thing lol #huh #what was i talking abotu again?

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amystudiesthings · 6 years

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Don't laze around at home

Being on campus can naturally put us in the studious zone. When you come home you want to kick back and relax, but don't give in. You're still a student no matter where you live while in college. Obviously relax at some point, but its better to start homework/studying almost immediately after arriving home. You can always have a meal, snack, or 20 minute nap before starting, but start ASAP while you’re still in the zone!

Get involved

Extracurriculars will be your taste of the college life, so get in there and make the most of it. Don't be afraid to go alone either. People who share the same interests and meet up regularly for an activity tend to make friends pretty quickly, trust me. You don't even have to be the loudest or most confident person in the room to do so.

Stay on campus

Don't leave right after your last class ends. Meet up with friends to study (or have a solo session), have dinner with friends in or around campus, go to a club, or even work on campus. Do anything to stay away from home as much as possible. From now on, you should consider home as the place where you eat and sleep (and socialize with your family sometimes), just like dorms for students are simply places to sleep in (and socialize with your roommate sometimes. or not at all).

Meet other commuters

Depending on your school, you may feel like there are barely any commuters around you. Well, everyone else feels the same way, so meet up and have each other's backs! Some schools have commuters' clubs and if yours doesn't, start one. I'm guilty of not having been to my school's commuters' club yet, but I have made some commuter friends in class who I can relate to.

Make friends with dormers

I mean obviously don't try to pick out friends specifically for what they have, but we should all try to diversify our friends if it is possible. Having a friend with a dorm means even more time away from home and even more opportunities to experience the "typical" college life. Definitely sleep over friends' dorms and go to dorm parties. The frequency of these activities is up to you, but its always cool to try something new.

Study Abroad

This experience will be a million times more mind-blowing than dorming at a school in your state or country. Now I'm not trying to discredit the experiences of dormers- its still a great experience that will hold many memories for you and help you grow. I'm just trying to convey how amazing study abroad is because it is by far the most amazing experience I've gotten out of college so far (and i think every student should try it!). Packing your bags to be in a country where you aren't fluent in the local language and don't really know anyone is going to be a crazy experience in both good and not so good ways. Personally, the "not so good ways" were just slight inconveniences and allow me to have some crazy stories to tell. Overall, it was definitely a challenge. A challenge that I loved every second of. I'm so grateful that it was my first experience living on my own. More importantly, I felt so proud that "I actually DID THAT!" (and didn't die).

Now before you all roll your eyes at me because only rich people do this, I went with financial help from my home university. My college has a partnership with the Korean university I went to, so I automatically got half off the tuition. I was also able to use some scholarship refund money towards the trip. My scholarship is for my grades, but you can still find other ways to get your funds if your grades aren't the best. For example, my university offers another scholarship opportunity on top of the slashed tuition, which is based mostly on your statement of purpose letter and recommendation(s). I applied, but they didn't receive my application (more on that in a future post, imstillsosaltyaboutit). There are other scholarships being offered (even from the government) that weigh your interest in study abroad more than your grades when choosing their recipients. I will make a post all about study abroad soon, so there's more info on that coming up. Don't hesitate to start researching yourself, though!

Join a sorority/fraternity

I personally haven't done this and I'm still not sure if I ever will, but this seems like a great experience to me and could benefit many students. I was "scouted" (if that's the right word- sorry, I don't know your Greek terminology!) by some girls from a sorority at my school because of my involvement in the Marketing club. I'm sure it differs for every organization, but the information they gave me on sorority life seemed intriguing. Volunteering, social events, study sessions together, having "sisters" I wasn't related to. Now that I think about it, making friends in a sorority is probably similar to how it is when you study abroad. You're all on the same boat in this new thing, and so the comradery just comes naturally to everyone. Perfect for shy people to get out of their shells, and socialites to, well, socialize.

I was also told that members were required to live in the sorority house for at least one semester. Imagine getting a whole HOUSE to yourself and a bunch of other amazing people with similar interests?! You could live on campus, make lots of friends, and not hurt your wallet as much in the process.

Join the school paper

Whether your school prints physical newspapers, posts online, or makes podcasts, you should try to join in on the reporting. This position will force you to meet all kinds of students, professors, staff members, alumni, and more. When I joined my school’s newspaper, members were given “topics” that were going to be their main area of focus (but we were also able to write about other subjects as well). You’ll be interviewing people and going to campus events to get that article done. Don’t be worried about your writing skills, either. While you should be fluent or close to fluent in the language you’re writing in, odds are the club leaders will work to teach their members some grammar and formatting rules that they would like their stories to follow.

A lot of these tips apply to students who dorm as well, because we all should try to be active in our campuses and make unique friendships along the way. Good luck this semester guys!

thanks for reading, hope these tips help;

take a look at my blog @amystudiesthings

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heybabybird · 4 years

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some word vomit pls ignore

don’t really like to talk aboutit but i have pretty neglective parents and well

i guess they’re trying to ‘bond’ with the whole pendemic thing(my mom anyway)

it sucks to know that the rare few time i will ever hear praises like ‘good job’ or ‘good child’ is when i starve myself so i’d loose weight haha

she ask for a bit of my dinner and went ‘oh you only made half portion? good girl’ i immediently lost my appetite

anyway it’s 9pm im having a late dinner because my parents forgot to leave me anything when they ate earlier

it’s crazy considering my whole ass job is to... make food

but i can’t help but feel like throwing up thinking about food anymore ugh

i hate my home life it’s so draining but i can’t just leave because my dad have... temper.... and... takes it out on my mom... verbally and financially anyway(thankfully), he doesn’t even work haha

the whole guilt thing is so not fun

#vent #hoo boy #tw eating disorder #?

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yuckitup-jwd · 14 years

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Education Jokes

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want mustard with that?"

What Year are You? When I first started college, the Dean came in and said "Good Morning" to all of us. When we echoed back to him, he responded "Ah, you're Freshmen." He explained. "When you walk in and say good morning, and they say good morning back, it's Freshmen. When they put their newspapers down and open their books, it's Sophomores. When they look up so they can see the instructor over the tops of the newspapers, it's juniors. When they put their feet up on the desks and keep reading, it's seniors." "When you walk in and say good morning, and they write it down, it's graduate students."

The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, "What did youlearn today?" The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."

On a bright spring morning, four high school seniors decided to skip all their morning classes. They arrived at school after lunch and told the teacher a very longwinded story about the flat tire the car had gotten and all the problems they'd encountered in getting it fixed. To their immense relief, the teacher did not seem too concerned with the story. She just smiled and said, "I'd like you to make up a test you missed this morning. Take seats apart from each other and get out your pens." When the boys were ready, the teacher said, "Each of you answer the following question: Which tire was flat?"

A recently seen bumper sticker on the San Diego Freeway: Hire college students, while they still know everything.

The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home. "The only consolation I can find in these awful grades," lamented the father,"is that I know he never cheated during his exams."

From The Seattle Times, Saturday, Dec 17th, 1988: The University of Wisconsin presented nearly 4,000 diplomas to graduates in May,but it took six months for someone to notice that the name of the state wasmisspelled 'Wisconson'.

The Professor enters the classroom, looks around, and bids his charges a hearty"Good Morning!" The freshmen respond with, "Good morning, Professor!" Thesophomores mutter, "Morning!" The juniors grunt. And the seniors simply writedown the Professor's greeting into their notes.

Reminds me of the one where the professor is droning away in the huge lecturehall when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The professorshouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!" The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"

Two young men who had just graduated from Harvard were all excited andtalking effusively as they got into a taxi in downtown Boston. After hearingthem for a couple of minutes the cab driver asked, "You men Harvard graduates?" "Yes Sir! Class of '94!" they answered proudly. The cab driver extended his hand back to shake their hand, saying, "Class of'58."

A true story; happened right here, not apocryphal. In my college dorm, we play 'Assassin,' like lots of students. Unlike mostpeople though, we use Silly String(tm) instead of water pistols, so that if youhit your target there's never an argument about whether you really hit thembecause, well, they're covered with Silly String(tm). But for those two weeks, you carry your Silly String(tm) everywhere, eveninto classrooms where you're automatically safe. So there I was in thisPsychology class with my friend, and we were kind of holding our Silly String atthe ready while the professor lectured. The class was Psychology Of Group Behavior and the professor was describingour next assignment, which concerned group norms. (Group norms are the unspokenrules of a group, i.e. you don't grab someone else's dining-hall tray and starteating off it). She was telling us the project, which is to violate a groupnorm blatantly and intentionally and then write a little two-page paper aboutit. And my crazy friend gets up, walks down the aisle, and gets up on the stagewith the professor, and proceeds to cover her in Silly String(tm). Needless tosay everyone figured out what was going on, and the applause brought down thehouse. He only got a B-plus on the paper, though. Go figure.

Professor: I'm dismissing you ten minutes earlier today. Please get out quietlynot to wake up the other classes.

This maybe something of a 'college legend', but I heard it as true: A student taking a philosophy class had a single question on his final: "Whatis courage?" The student wrote: "This", signed it, and turned it in. I never knew what happened to the student, but I hope he got an A.

While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board Of Educationbecame provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room. Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to bedoing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him inthe corner. A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded,"Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?"

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said thesarcastic lecturer. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired thelecturer with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standingup there all by yourself."

A certain professor arrived late for a lecture to find a most uncomplimentarydrawing of himself on the blackboard. Fuming, he asked the class joker in thefront row, "Who, pray, was responsible for this atrocity?" The joker won tremendous prestige with his reply, "I really don't know, but Istrongly suspect its parents."

Student: What's your opinion on the paper I submitted last week? Professor: It's absolute drivel. Student: I know, but let's hear it anyway.

A professor was grading the essay finals he had just given his class andopened the exam book of a failing student to reveal blank pages and a $100 bill.The only thing written in the book was "$100 = 100% - I get an A." A month later, the student approached the professor. "I don't understand,"he said. "I failed the course. Didn't you read my final?" The professor handed the student the exam book. The student opened it toreveal $50 and the phrase "$50 = 50% - You fail!"

One day, a very attractive undergraduate visited the professor's office. This undergraduate pulled the chair closer to the professor, smiled at him shyly, bumped his knee "accidentally", etc. Finally, the undergraduate said, "Professor, I really need to pass your course. It is extremely important to me. It is so important that I'll do anything you suggest." The professor, somewhat taken aback by this attention, replied, "Anything?" To which the undergradute cooed, "Yes, anything you say." After some brief reflection, the professor asked, "What are you doing tomorrow afternoon at 3:30?" The student lied, "Oh, nothing at all, sir. I can be free then." The professor then advised, "Excellent! Professor Palmer is holding a help session for his students. Why don't you attend that."

Teacher: Billy, name two pronouns. Billy: Who, me? Teacher: Very good!

An economics professor at school had a strict policy that the hourly examinations were to be completed at the bell and anyone who kept writing on their exam after the bell would take a zero on the exam. Well, one guy kept writing on his exam for a while after the bell and then confidently strode up to turn it in. The professor looked at him and said, "Don't bother to hand that paper in... you get a zero for continuing after the bell." The guy looked at him and said, "Professor, do you know who I am!!" The professor replied, "No, and I don't care if your dad is president of the United States...you get a zero on this exam" The guy, with a enraged look on his face, shouted, "You mean you have no idea who I am???" The professor responded, "No, I've no idea who you think you are." With that, the guy said "Good!", plunged his exam into the middle of the stack of other students exams, and did a hasty retreat from the examination room!

#educational jokes #occupationaljokes #q&a #educationaljokes

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underratedkporn · 7 years

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Milo for the nsfw alphabet meme??

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stopsubstanceabuse1-blog · 6 years

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