#about that person's body/appearance.
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I remembered. It was about how I realized my one genuine most pretentious and fucked up trait is that I can't help but judge people based on what they're fascinated by but most importantly WHY it fascinates them. I try to tell myself it's not that deep but I can't help it. I think I'd feel better if I were one of those people that are really judgey on like, appearance or fashion sense or whatever because it's still fucked up but it's like NORMALIZED fucked up. You know what I mean.
#diary#and I feel out of place when I can't relate. even though I know it's ultimately a good thing to not judge others super hard#for what they look like. Cause I'm sure I do it too but I've noticed I care a LOOOOOT less#than the people around me do. And it makes me feel weird.#ALSO IT'S SOOO ANNOYING WHEN LIKE... you say Hey I don't think you should be saying those things#about that person's body/appearance.#then inevitably there's always someone like OHHHH everyone look they're sooo good and moral and above all of us 🙄🤪🤪#when you neverrr fucking said that. Like that's a lot of assumptions you just made
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Your fears that you don't have a body that will transition "well" are, sure, understandable, but there isn't truly such thing as a body that's unworthy of transition. Perhaps your changing body won't suit everybody's taste, but would you rather live for yourself or for the whims of random people who don't care about your happiness as long as they're attracted to what they see?
Transition is for anybody who wants it. It's okay to be fearful. It's okay to be uncertain. But it isn't the end of the world. You are in control, and if you choose to transition to any capacity, it should be at your behest. You and your body are worthy of transition. I hope you are able to seize transition and do what you truly want for yourself.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#have been seeing a small resurgence in some trans spaces that there is such thing as an 'untransitional' body#there are people out there who cannot transition for medical/financial/social reasons but that isn't what people often mean#kill the person in your head that says you need to adhere to cishet standards. it's okay to be trans and *look* it if you want#transition because it makes you feel happy or fulfilled. transition because it is something *you* want#while yes it's complex because appearing trans can be dangerous i ultimately want people to have the freedom to make decisions solely...#...on what *they* want y'know?#i have seen this idea that some people just aren't 'able' to transition because they won't 'appear cis' for years now and it's heartbreaking#like i used the whole 'i don't look cis' against myself because it's impossible for me *to be* cis...#...i will never be non-trans. i will never not be a transsexual and i used to hate that about myself...#...because i was taught that being trans is bad. i was taught that looking trans is a curse that nobody should EVER inflict upon themselves#and that the goal was to essentially distance yourself as far away from transness as you can#and it's okay for people to not want to 'look' visibly trans. it's neutral. what was harmful was the idea that TRANS was bad#there's a huge difference between 'i don't want to be visibly trans' and 'i think being trans and looking it is bad'
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I still don't ever feel like I'm good enough
#this is actually not about my body#just like my whole#being#not like my physical look#bcs#idk#it's just what I look like and I can fight my appearance but that will only take away the quality of my life#i'm good when i can live my life the way i want to and be healthy#but i feel like i'm not good enough as a person#as who i am as a soul#my body has actually very little to do with it aside from the fact that she carries my soul#also#i don't really look like the drawing so#whatever#body tw#not ed
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So, I’ve said before that one of the reasons I like classic literature is that it helps me understand the culture of the times. Rereading Sherlock Holmes made me realize that Victorian-era phrenology didn’t go away, it just….got better PR.
#Anyway! If I see you make assumptions about people’s health/behavior/personality based on their appearance or body shape#I’m going to consider you a guillble motherfucker who hasn’t learned anything since 1881#letters from watson#monstre.txt
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how about you shut the fuck up Mr. Irresponsible
#i forgot to add the context but this is the part of empyrea part 2 where mellori previously got bodied and now she's in a coma#and so the arcanum is trying to figure out how to save her life when ambrose barges in and starts insulting them for no reason#the man who directly puts children at risk: how dare you do unnaproved experiments on MY children? its a school night!!!#okay so like. ambrose if the arcanum is Not Approved to save lives who is. who do they need the permission of. You ?#the ONE TIME ambrose cares about the children under his jurisdiction its just to get to tell other people what to do 💀#this conflict leads to nothing by the way. ambrose fails to make a point. much less a valid one#he appears. he insults everyone and talks back to a grieving mother. he does not elaborate on why he is so upset. then he leaves.#this would have been an interesting conversation if ambrose actually. contributed to anything#this also fits into his personality: focusing on the greater good#viewing living beings as Keys and Saviors first - people second#ambrose will yell at a grieving mother if he thinks it will save the spiral#wizard101#wiz101#w101#text posts
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it’s always such a shame when fantasy video games that allow you to customize your character to be any race almost never gives a shit about the player base that wants to play orcs.
bg3 half orc heads look like absolute dog shit and the bodies are so shriveled with no body fat. also. you can only play half orc :/ i understand that in dnd that’s the only choice you get but what about the players immersion? what if i want dialogue options about being an orc? what if i want?
elder scrolls online had its first dlc focus on orcs, but that was almost exactly ten years ago and they don’t seem keen on doing more with that any time soon, meanwhile they can’t stop caring about the damn elves all the time.
elf this, elf that. im tired of it. they’re everywhere and then orcs are the neglected cousins in game making spheres because hurr durr orcs are meant to be ugly and stupid! they don’t need much afterthought just make them brutes with no personality-! WHAT IF IM GAY ASSHOLE orz what if i’m tired of the skinny body types and small pointy ears what if i want to ogle at real meat i can imagine grappling instead of legolas copy nr795. what if i want to admire tusks. what if i want my characters body type to be big and beefy. what if i want.
who cares what my demographic wants. we’re too small a group to ever be catered to with even the slightest bit of respect it seems. anything given is mere leftovers that they could functionally code and fit into the game to fit the deadline.
there are certainly more examples i can talk about, and don’t even get me started on how the female counterparts almost never match the male ones 🙄 but that’s for another day when i get irrationally angry about this again
#if i ever am part of a game with these elements i will make it good. this can be assured#i don’t give a shit about elves anymore they’re so over saturated fuckin everywhere#i love playing orc like characters but when bg3 showed me the ONLY body type… nah man that ain’t it#ryoko kui might be the only person even close to understanding me#it’s about the being perceived based on appearance that you can’t hide#it’s about being gay and fat and hairy as well but i digress#it’s about being unashamed to be unabashed in who you are and reveling in your body#if idve been born in a fantasy world i would’ve probably been a dwarf or an orc. that is all#for now >:}
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Fluent Freshman - Part 23
PREVIOUS
There were a few reasons that Andrew and Neil could not get past reception to go see FF or get updates on his current condition.
The first reason was that visiting hours were long over by the time they had arrived a little after midnight.
The second reason was that hospitals, in general, don’t just give out information on their patients to any random person that walks in and asks for an update on their condition. They are ESPECIALLY hesitant to give out updates on patients when the people who are asking can’t give you anything other than a first name, general description, and the reason that the patient is in the hospital.
Somehow “Completely average looking guy with the last name Smith who was stabbed in the stomach” is not enough for the receptionist to go off of.
“There are multiple people here that fit that description. I would need at least a first and last name before I could even begin to start seeing if you were someone who we even could give updates to. No, I will not continue to play your fun little game of guess the first name.” She says when Andrew opens his mouth to start listing off names alphabetically again.
So now Andrew and Neil found themselves under the watchful eye of a security guard as they sat in the back corner of the front reception area.
“I can’t believe we still don’t know what Smith’s first name is.” Neil says his face is buried in his hands as he and Andrew sit in the uncomfortable chairs trying to figure out where to go from here.
“I think she knows exactly who we want to see.” Andrew scowls towards the receptionist who, long used to the ire of the public, pays him no mind. Andrew just refused to believe that there were that many brown haired, brown eyed, average height and weight guys who had suffered a stab wound to the stomach that would have been admitted in the last two hours.
“I just hope they actually are looking after him and that no one went and forgot about him in an hallway somewhere.” Neil says hands sliding up into his hair to grip.
“That wouldn’t happen.” Andrew dismisses despite knowing that Wymack had ABSOLUTELY forgotten FF at a stadium once during the period where FF had been low presence to keep his family from bothering him.
The U-turn he had pulled had definitely been illegal when FF called and asked where the bus was when they had been on the road for five minutes. Wymack had felt terrible about it but FF had just seemed relieved that the bus had come back for him.
Wymack.
Andrew pulls out his phone and dials a familiar number. Wymack, reliable as always, picks up on the fourth ring with the sound of cursing as he got the phone up to his ear. “What.” He asks and Andrew can hear the sounds of driving and Kevin’s infamously train-like snoring in the background.
“What’s Smith first name. You know it.” Andrew demands.
“Classified.” Wymack clips back immediately.
“I need to know it so that we can get updates.” Andrew hisses.
“He isn’t interested in people knowing it and you wouldn’t be able to get updates anyways.” Wymack dismisses.
“We want to be able to head back to see him.” Neil tries.
“Visiting hours are long over Josten. You know that I’m not settling that bet that you little fuckers have floating around about this.” Wymack responds back.
Andrew grits his teeth and then forces himself to relax his jaw, “It’s not about the bet.” Andrew shuts his eyes in irritation.
That stupid bet.
The betting culture within the Palmetto State Foxes Exy team that Reynold’s had cultivated held strong even after her graduation with the remaining Foxes. The Bet had started when one of the other freshmen had mentioned that it was funny that FF went around like Cher or Madonna. The realization that none of them knew FF’s first name was one that had them placing bets on a multitude of things. Things like: “Do you wanna bet it’s a super normal boring name?”, “Do you wanna bet that it’s a weird foreign name?”, and “Is FF intentionally not giving it out to people or since he goes by his last name normally he has no idea that anything is amiss?” Had lower pools since you were betting on a spectrum. The bet with the highest pool is: “What is FF’s first name”.
Wymack had categorically refused to answer it and all other attempts to discover FF’s first name had been met with frustration. There was a solemn agreement that no one could just go and outright ask him since that would ruin all of the fun. Andrew had agreed to not ask when the team had collectively filled his freezer with ice cream cake and he was a man of his word.
The general belief (after the revelation of his major and the number of languages FF spoke) was that FF’s name was just not easy to pronounce for English speakers.
Andrew hadn’t participated but he know that the Foxes do have a running list of names they know it’s not. (Greg, Will, Smith (again), Matt, Kevin, Neil, Andrew, Aaron, Nathaniel, Jack, Beyonce (Sheena’s drunken guess), Nicholas, John, Fred, Garfield, Frank, Alfred, Augustus, Adam, etc. (Andrew had been trying to guess with the receptionist for a while))
“You’re coming here aren’t you? We can get updates when you get them.” Neil says.
“He’s in emergency surgery right now and will remain there for the next few hours most likely. There’s not going to be any updates hopefully.” Wymack says with a sigh loud enough that they can hear it over Kevin’s snoring.
“Surgery? He needs surgery?” Neil asks sounding surprised s if FF hadn’t been stabbed to the hilt into his stomach with one of Andrew’s knives. He’s about to give Neil some shit for the question before remembering that if there was any person who would think that a stab wound to the stomach wouldn’t necessitate surgery it would be Neil “I’m Fine” Josten.
“Yes Josten, he needs surgery. They have to stitch up his stomach and the surgeons are also going to be dealing with some of the ulcers that were ruptured by the knife.” Wymack explains likely coming to the same conclusion that Andrew had on Neil’s stupid question. “They were a bit worried about him bleeding out but he stabilized before the surgery.” Wymack sighs.
“I’m going the hospital since I’m Smith’s medical proxy. If anything goes wrong with the surgery I want to be there so I can make an informed decision on his care.” Wymack says and… Andrew figured there’d be surgery but to hear it and the possibility that something could go wrong, that the last thing FF had said to him had been something non-sensical about “Gracie Hart wouldn’t have gotten stabbed. I’m Cheryl at best.”as he’d started succumbing to all the blood loss. “If you could stick around long enough for me to drop Kevin off with you I would appreciate it.” Wymack says.
“What if he needs a blood transfusion?” Andrew says.
“Smith is AB-, it’s the second easiest blood type to transfuse into. Go home Andrew.” Wymack repeats.
Andrew works his jaw irritated that there didn’t seem to be a path to getting his way.
“We’ll stay here until you get here.” Andrew agrees, “But you’ll get an update before we leave.” He adds.
Wymack sighs, “Fair enough.” He says before hanging up.
It’s 45 minutes of waiting and tossing a few more name possibilities at the receptionist who seems more amused than anything at their continued attempts to guess their friend’s first name (Neil goes through the entire list of names that he’s gone by and none of them get the thumbs up).
Wymack comes through the doors with a half awake Kevin Day following his steps. “I have another favor to ask you.” Wymack says instead of any form of greeting.
“I’m not going to leave Kevin in the car overnight again. It was just that one time.” Andrew says with a roll of his eyes and honestly he’d been punished enough listening to Kevin bitch, moan, and sneeze for the following week while talking about all the supplements he was taking.
“Not that,” Wymack pauses, “I have two favors to ask you. First don’t do that. Second, would you be able to pick up Smith’s grandma from the airport tomorrow?” He asks.
Andrew blinks.
“She’s coming here?” He asks.
“I updated her on my way here. She booked a flight and will be arriving around noon tomorrow.” Wymack says and Andrew doesn’t know why he’s confused by this. FF’s grandma got him two still warm pies to cheer him up on Thanksgiving.
He’d stabbed that woman’s grandson.
“I’ll pick her up.” He agrees.
Shorter one today
NEXT
MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU
Per your requests:
@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lillyndra @themundanemudperson @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo @next-level-mess @youreonlylow @interstellarfig @notprocrastinatingatalltoday @percyjacksonfan3 @queenofcrazy27 @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares @spencellio @adinthedarkroom @harpymoth @sufferingjustalilbit @anxietymoss @oddgreyhound @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken @ken22789 @atiredvampire @isoldescorner @not--a--pipedream @azure-wing @bushbees @roonilwazlib-main @crumplelush @foldedaces-paperbirds @thesenseinnonsense @let-tyrants-fear @ketchupandfries @legowerewolf @deadlydodos @but-we-respect-his-craft @cariniqe @zanypersonapricotbiscuit @lesbian-blackbeard @lesbiansupernatural @silvermasquerade @thepeachfuzz @minniemariex @kazoo-the-demjin @gaypomegranate @ji-nk-ies @neilimfinejosten @omgrubelangel @itsyouitsmeorpheuseurydice
The requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I promise I just missed you.
As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?
#Fluent Freshman AU#Might be taking a bit of a break after this post#I wanna figure out the overarching joke of the next part#So FF is under the knife getting stitched up so he doesn't make an in person appearance this chapter#Kevin is coming along with Wymack because he wants to figure out the recovery time and PT FF will need#They were planning on having him be the starting Dealer next season#Honestly he can't BELIEVE that Romero would fuck up his line-up like this#Yes Kevin is aware that he is not the Captain#FF never lets anyone forget who the Captain is#It's Captain Neil#Neil and Andrew try to become close to the receptionist so she will release FF's first name#But god they are both super bad at small talk#Andrew and Neil: So...busy day?#Receptionist: Actually considering the fact its Black Friday it wasn't that bad#Neil: Is it...is it that dangerous? (Thinking about FF this morning)#Receptionist: I've seen body builders get their thigh bones snapped in half by exhausted stay at home moms for a blender you tell me#Neil: Anyone from the (location) Target?#Receptionist: Oh that was a bloodbath didn't you see the news?#The misconception that FF is a cool badass guy continues to grow throughout the Foxes#AFTG#AFTG AU#AFTG OC#AFTG Fic#FF - Pt 23
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#sleepyyyyyyy#a doodley#i still have to work on him because i know his face doesnt actually look Old#but thats also hard to achieve with some of his features ykwim...similar to real persons#i could stand to add a bit more sag to his face even if he is meant to be sharp and pointy#but whatever! was more focused on body here#which i also still have to work on#i really really like the folds above a belly button ive seen on Men Who Are Aged#not even Old...just older than me#and i like giving him age spots even if he doesnt have exposure to the sun#i have to find something to fit with that...maybe he just subconsciously shapeshifts em onto there? idk!#i still dont know how he Feels about his unfed appearance... maybe ill get it out of him in a few more months#we'll get to da bottom of dis#ok gn gn gn#still have to give him more sag in general i know - ill get there
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kind of a new personal quest i want to try for myself is to stop highlitghting/noticing another woman's beauty for the next week (and my own!)
so because i am very much against our actual conception of female beauty because of the tremendous focus we put on the least important part of a person (their body) i want to actively start training myself to stop caring. Like seeing a beautiful, stunning, aesthetically perfect woman and simply not focusing on her appearance, doesn't matter how hard.
Also stop noticing if a random girl has nice lips, or good hair, or a nice outfit, or if she's hot. If i find myself thinking about it, redirecting my thought on something else. Becoming totally neutral to a woman's outer appearance.
This is also valid for me: for a week i will start caring about my body only from a neutral kind of way (do not shave even if i feel pressured to, dont put makeup even if i fell pressures to, dont care about my body type, dont use any particular jewelry etc.; only care about physical self for hygienic and practical purposes). For a week, i want to try to become a person who doesn't care if "her skin is the softest" "her outfit is beautiful" and all that. I want to be neutral. I want to notice new things.
I do think that even beauty critical women still notice other women's beauty, and the fact they passively give importance to another woman' aesthetic conquest does influence their relationship with their own self. I'm one of those women. Therefore it is only right i shut up the aesthetic gaze inside of me
Will update from time to time!!
#this is a very personal thing#if it was for me we should be giving 0 importance to a person's body in 95% of the time#something we do with men#even the most beautiful men are not given 1/100 of the consideration we give to women who dont care about their appearance#think it like this: even muslim women who cover themselves still try to beautify their niqabs#and some men still focus on their extremely hidden beauty#while your average male model receives less attention than them#as i said in another post i dont want to be modest i dont want to be hot i want to be neutral#as neutral as a man#and i challenge myself to perceive myself that way#mental palace#heart-felt#journaling#radfem#radfeminism#radfemblr#radblr#radical feminism#terfsafe#terfblr#gender critical#beauty critical#female objectification#misogyny#radical feminists do touch#radical feminists do interact#radical feminists please interact#radical feminists please touch#andrea dworkin#on focusing on women's bodies 1
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i knew it would happen but oh my god. oh my. fucking god. i couldn't imagine it would be so bad when requesting. i was thinking about the lola propaganda and emo boy lovers and the gross freak haters. i couldn't possibly imagine that he would get such a GIANT pass percentage. yes there's six more hours to go but i know it's going to get worse over the night. As the blog curator is he really now the most passed on character I'm curious
Currently Masterson is still at a higher percentage than Beast Machines Rattrap, who I believe is our current Least Fuckable character. Masterson clears the bar by a whole percent.
And with your help we can set the bar even lower. It's not too late to Get His Ass
I don't know beachcomber too well but any humanfucker bots are welcome here.
Admittedly I was thinking at least a little bit about the rescue bots when I wrote the post because I swear to Primus every one of the main cast of bots is trying to fuck humans. Not even necessarily their human partners specifically (boulder and heatwave absolutely are tho), but at some point, every one of the bots has Said or Done Some Shit in the show that reads like they're interested in getting with humans. Prowl "I've fantasized about being human before" TFA walked so the rescue bots could sprint.
(I've also just kinda had Boulder/Graham Brainrot lately, so that might be contributing lmao)
#not polls#i dont so much fantasize about being a robot myself but i do frequently think about bots seeing human things for the first time#and just being absolutely enamored#not to drop Personal Lore once again but ive had my share of self image and body issues#and a little way ive had to stave them off is taking all these parts of myself that may be stigmatized or considered substandard#and just envisioning how someone with none of the cultural biases and ingrained stigmas may see them#it just so happens that robotic aliens who only just got to earth and dont really know much about humans fit that bill pretty well#the reverse is nice too. every time we get info about cybertronian beauty standards i latch onto that shit so hard#because it gives insight into how some characters may feel about themselves appearance-wise#and having a self conscious bot with a human that isnt really concerned with if theyre the sleekest model so much as Big Hot Robot (v sexy)#is just kind of a staple in human x cybertronian works that makes me go absolutely off the rails#like yes girl!!! unlearn shame and unrealistic expectations!!! your truck bf doesnt give a fuck if you have hip dips!!!!#in hindsight this may be why i got a little on the desensive side in that particular post
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its really awesummmmm to have body image problems in the world that we live in even trying to “eat healthily” always feels like subjecting myself to a disordered form of eating somehow because my palate is so rectricted already but when i just eat normal stuff that i enjoy like fucking TOAST i start feeling like im going to be killed badly and i overthink every meal choice i make and the amount of ambient Food Noise in my brain at all times is so overwhelming it makes me sick esp when all my “body positive” friends and family are always talking about diet this and diet that and protein shakes and what have you because it’s so insanely normal to do so and my algorithm wont stop showing me healthy cooking videos and talking about protein every meal, diet matters more than exercise, carb replacements tofu pancakes shut up SHUT UPPPPP!!!!!!!!! FUCKK
#i gained a lot of weight on my antidepressants and i cant just stop taking them but it is like fucking up my brain soooo bad to exist#like my brain knows its fine and normal but it doesnt even matter like i live with so much cognitive dissonance it’s become unreal#plus im on the Apps so my physical appearance really does have a direct impact on my life so im always thinking about it all the time#and it curtails with me being a picky eater which i feel like is heinous and morally weong on my part and i feel such an immense GUILT#about it while also being aware i cant really do anything about it yayyyyyy#and then even posting about it feels wrong because im like maybe externalizing it is worse blah blah blah#just feels like something is REALLY wrong with how i think about myself but theres no way to deal with it because#having that mindset about your body is literally the normal state of affairs in everyone else like#personal#flumps. i need to go do pilates now. i guess.
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With the recently announced Shovel Knight: Shovel of Hope DX, I figured there's no time like the present to bring an old favorite back into the spotlight... hey, Yacht Club Games! How about another character to play through the first campaign as? I have just the girl for the job...
Making her first appearance on this blog since 2020, witness the return of the Fated Acolyte, now sporting a brand-new look! 💜🖤💜🖤💜
#⭐ Star's Art ⭐#Star's OCs#Shovel Knight#The Fated Acolyte#Shovel Knight OC#Self-Insert#S/I#Aseprite#Sprite Art#Pixel Art#Coolness#B e h o l d . . . THE FATED ACOLYTE IS BACK!!! 💜🖤💜🖤💜#And now... she's a girl!#It was only right to redesign the Fated Acolyte to better represent who I am as a person now contrary to four years ago#But y'know what the best part about being a transgender Shovel Knight fan is?#It means that I can use the Fated Acolyte's previous design as her Body Swap design!#With a new design comes a new sprite and that meant getting to flex my spriting prowess#I think I've come quite a long way in the four years since her last visual appearance on this blog!#At some point I would very much love to attempt the Pocket Dungeon style and draw a portrait of her in its style#As well as a chibi overworld sprite. It'd take many references but I'm wholly certain I can pull it off#And lastly... with the Fated Acolyte's new female identity... this means that her relationship with The Enchantress is now yuri#And honestly? It just feels so right 🏳️⚧️✨
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there's an essay jumbled up in my brain about dunmeshi's beginning and how clever and deceptive it is as a sleight-of-hand trick that distracts the audience from the depth and scope of the worldbuilding and foreshadowing that's being set up the entire time by dangling zany characters and wacky dishes and biology fun facts in front of us, and how that serves to catch invested viewers off guard when those elements come to the forefront, but also how it works against it with other viewers wanting "more" and not seeing it because the plot bait isn't laid out up front
how people getting frustrated with the characters "not taking things seriously" is mirrored and refuted in the confrontation between Laios and Shuro. how the characters' attitudes aren't just a result of shallow low-stakes "comedy rules" where nothing matters, but are an extension of their personalities (Laios's nonstandard expression of emotions being offputting even to people he knows) and the world and social environment (adventurers being desensitized to death and injury because resurrection magic is commonplace). the way the party refers to "saving Falin" instead of "retrieving Falin's corpse," indicating that they still see her with full personhood, and how that phrasing leads to some readers/viewers believing that Falin is alive in the dragon's stomach, conscious of being slowly digested while the party carelessly fucks around "wasting time." how the weird tonal dissonance makes sense in-universe and yet is deliberately challenged more and more the deeper the party goes
all the character building and pieces of lore slowly weaving together the shape of the larger world, laying the groundwork for the major themes that will surface later. so much is right there in the "low-stakes" early episodes if you know what you're looking for (or pass the perception checks).
it can be so satisfying to see new viewers/readers pick up on the clues even in the earliest "simple" episodes, or notice new things and make connections yourself....and it can also be frustrating to see people dismiss oddities and dissonance as shallow or bad writing because they don't expect a "cooking anime" to have depth like that. why try to question and understand and peel back the layers when you don't expect there to be any layers?
why can't laios take things seriously for once?
#mypost#i'm majorly out of practice for doing any real critical cohesive writing lol#trying to put this into coherent words has been such a mess so here's a vague gesture at my thought process about it#it's both my favorite and the most frustrating thing to see#because i've seen SO MANY people say they dropped the show after a couple eps thinking they know what it's about and where it's going#a cute but ultimately unsustainable gimmick#people for whom the characters and the food/biology infodumping weren't enough of a hook#but i wouldn't change anything about the structure to put a more obvious plot hook in the beginning#because it would give the game away TOO much#i LOVE how the audience has to acclimate to the characters' attitudes about death#only for our assumption that it's all normal and fine in this world to be thrown back in our faces#how we're left to notice the winged lion appearing in statues and carvings and coins and armor in the background#long long before it's ever brought up as a real entity by the plot#the history of the kingdom laid out in plain view but nevermind that. magic painting food!#i've seen the language around falin and her resurrection cause so much confusion#but of COURSE the characters involved wouldn't directly say 'we need to get her corpse to revive it'#bc pragmatically they already understand that as their goal. it doesn't need to be stated out loud; it's just how this process works.#but also they don't SEE her as an object. a dead body.#they need to 'save her before she's digested.' 'the spell couldn't reach her in the dragon's stomach.' 'hang in there falin'#death isn't real to them. not really. and so it doesn't quite feel real to the audience either#not until they find her skull and that realization slams home#like......i keep comparing it to gravity falls#which is episodic and goofy in the beginning but also has a much more obvious plot hook to keep people interested#(a main character entering a secret bunker indicating that he's lying about his ignorance of the town's mysteries)#the main characters in gravity falls are AWARE that there is a mystery to be solved and are trying to find more information#but i don't think that approach would work as well for dm!#laios's goals were never that lofty. not until they HAD to be because the situation demanded it of him#it's the characters trying to solve one personal problem and finding themselves entrenched in something vast and dramatic#that they weren't even fully AWARE of when they set out. and we the audience are on that journey with them!#it's SUCH a good structure i wouldn't trade it for anything. but also. tragic to see people give up and dismiss it so fast.
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my transfem raiden vision…walk with me
#raiden mgs#metal gear solid#was surprised that so many people interpret him at transmasc...the whole time i was like Thats a lady#disregarding the fact that he gets rosemary pregnant. i think that despite him being more androgynous a big part of his personality is bein#very attached to his masculinity personality-wise. he has more than one conversation with her where he's just blatantly sexist#(interesting when placed next to snake who is nothing like that despite his appearance being much more stereotypically masculine)#so i think he is undoubtedly amab. he very much so conforms to traditional roles when it comes to his actions/speech#to the point where it does seem like he tries to overcompensate for it. he's very defensive about his masculinity in a way snake isn't#specifically in an insecure way. thinking of going into the ladies' restroom...snake is like dude its whatever LOL but raiden gets so#neurotic when rosemary and “campbell” call him out on it#this combined with a lack of autonomy over his own body—his name is chosen for him (by solidus then campbell); he's groped and objectified;#and of course it's significantly altered without his consent#and there's the whole name matter and him just fundamentally not understanding WHO he is#and i think that fits like. soooo so so so well if he's transfem#fascinating regardless. but this is my personal truth . more thoughts once i finish mgs4 and mgrr and am not just scrolling thru transcript#myne#mgs#“you always seem like you're trying to deny something within yourself” dude.#transfem raiden longfic one day i SWEAR on my life
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while aaravi remains firmly within "yeah miranda has a difficult personality and isn't very easy to get along with + has many rough edges which are slowly being worked on but still going to be an issue" after having been very much so within the camp that miranda is a Vexing Bitch upon first contact/getting to know her, she DOES go from "miranda is unpredictable and dangerous as a merfolk and large macropredator and her emotions are inscrutable and random" to "merfolk aren't very hard to understand or predict and it's very easy to stay on the safe side if you keep basic rules in mind and don't freak out the second something unexpected happens"
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#miravi.txt#just. thinking about it!#thinking about specifically how merfolk (like most other animals) growl/hiss specifically as a deterrent#like if you start really upsetting miri and she wants space and you to Please Stop#she will probably turn her face away from the other person or turn her body away from them#while growling or hissing and pulling her fins back#and will open her mouth to bare her teeth or gape her mouth open to show her teeth (including heavily panting)#where the point is ''i will hurt you if you touch me/get closer/dont stop so please dont do that''#but a lot of people read it as her being either obtuse (if she turns away from them)#or outright aggressive for the showing of teeth and growling#when shes really not. shes being very polite in merfolk terms in giving multiple chances to avoid violence#shes going ''i am worried i might have to hurt you so please reconsider'' in a way thats very readable if youre another merfolk#who will then step away or give her her space and switch the tone of the conversation#to see whats wrong#whereas her being more deliberately aggressive/violent usually comes with minimal vocal cues at all#or (if shes specifically threatening someone such as in the case of getting aggressive over perceived threats to her social bonds)#she will often turn towards them and open her mouth and flare her fins#often deliberately closing the distance and making herself appear Extra Large#she WILL growl here but will never hiss (hissing being a more defensive sound)#and will often smack her tail against the ground or show her claws or otherwise demonstrate how large and how scary she is#as a deliberate point of ''you crossed a line and this is what is going to happen to you if you dont make it up right now''#which! both require VERY different responses but might look similar to a human!#and might end up coming off as unpredictable or random in her actions and cruelty!#when shes not! shes just doing things the way a merfolk does them#which means aaravi realizes VERY quickly after learning about all of this#just how many cues miranda gives that people are starting to make her uncomfortable and feel Not Okay#that are ignored or written off because theyre merfolk cues#merfolk are very tolerant of stress but have basically no concept of escalation of violence for that reason#because if youve ignored every chance to prevent something dangerous up until the point it goes too far
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Did a study. He’s an OC of mine and he’s a bit too pretty in my opinion, I like a man who’s been roughed up. Missing a nose, maybe. Perhaps a few scars, or a bad eye. Im gonna fuck this guy up so hard that when you see the reblog I post next, you’ll be like: “damn, what happened to him-“ and to that I’ll say, in my own rotted brain, only I know the answers to that. I just like a fucked up man, who’s plainly fucked up. If not on the outside, then on the inside, and you find out quick.
Bonus points when there’s the slow horror of his lady finding out, and flipping shit. In my own little story world, this dude eats people if he has to. He’s got a deep, gravelly drawl, and not a whole lot of motivation for morality. His real appearance is a lot more fucked up. He uses his power to look this pretty. What can I say, it’s been done before, but I’m a monsterfucker through and through and I like damaged men who’ll kill and act like they just played a round of cricket.
I won’t lie, I also have a mega crush on the ghoul from fallout, which has made me obsessed with fucked up cowboys.
#I draw with my finger on procreate#so there isn’t more of his body#a shame to be sure but I can’t spend two weeks drawing abs#but when I think about it that way it’s very tempting#but no I want to fuck his appearance up a bit first#this blog is my own personal experiment where I cackle and do fucked up shit and cackle some more
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