#able to develop friendships and relationships and hold down jobs and take care of yourself at least at a basic level i dont know why

[fairycosmos]

like i say it all the time but i can't stress it enough. how do other people do it

[rose-edith]

Ma'am Treville, you already saw it coming!

Please give us some headcanons of being the king's mistress!

(doesn't have to be Louis, it could be literally general)

Of course! I won’t use a specific face for the King, that way he can look how you’d like. Hope you like it!

Being the Mistress of King Louis would include:

•even before you become the Mistress of King Louis, Queen Anne is aware of the growing friendship between you and her husband. She’s not exactly pleased at the prospect of Louis flaunting you under her nose, but then nor does she really hold any real anger towards you.

•essentially she feels a bit indifferent. Her husband doesn’t hit her or beat her, but he’s always been a bit aloof. So she’s sort of used to him not really caring and not being around.

•so Anne doesn’t hate you, but you’re not her best friend.

•the first time she sees you and Louis walking lazily round the perfectly manicured gardens she almost feels a sense of relief, at least you were both happy. And she hoped that with Louis so charmed by you, she might be able to find her own joy.

•and Louis was utterly enthralled, diverted by you! Under the fake Kingly veneer that keeps him almost chained to his throne he’s a living, breathing feeling man.

•and he’s very very generous! Right from word go Louis has given you little gifts. Well, I say little- at first, before he comes to truly know your desires, he gifts you expensive jewellery, clothes, horses, carriages, a title, a country house- all gifts any social climber would wish for! And you are flattered, but it’s not what you really want.

•it takes quite a long time really, but eventually Louis realises that you value his time, fresh cut flowers from the gardens, new books, much more than the grand gestures.

•so he starts to plan luxurious picnics- the finest pastries and cakes, the most delicious wine and big soft blankets and huge fluffy cushions are dragged outside at the King’s orders.

•to begin with your little dates together and it- you’re a diversion from the rigours of court life and an unhappy marriage. But then the friendship deepens, as does the King’s feelings.

•he’s quick to fall in love with you. And he’s quick to move you into his rooms. Truly, it is the worst secret in all of France! Everyone knows- but no one says a word, no one dares to. Even when they see you walking round the palace and holding hands, when they see you dancing closer than is suitable, as you both sneak away, or go to the kitchens for a late night snack together, no one says a single word.

•you’re given a title that represents the significance of your place in the King’s heart. Which is a lovely gesture, but it puts a target on your back very firmly. So you end up finding yourself being guarded by the King’s own Musketeers every time you leave the palace.

•he’s not a terribly well-read man really. But for you he learns some lines of poetry. For you he tones down his obsession with having a large navy to command. Don’t expect him to change completely; he’s still petulant and inclined to act childish and stomp his foot if he’s told the word ‘no’ by his Minister. But he does change a bit.

•he becomes a bit wild around you. As you grow comfortable and intimate, as things physically progress with you…he becomes passionate and intense.

•as a lover his skills to begin with are…well, they’re adequate. But over time they develop, he becomes a sensational lover, and you definitely get to experience his physical form regularly- once you both start to experience love making it becomes a regular staple.

•you’re not just a temporary fixture in his life, once he’s welcomed you into his world you’re there for a long, long time. A happy King is a big win for the country, so as much as it’s a relationship, being his Mistress is a job too. But fortunately, it’s a job you’re very happy to do.

[bestofbucky]

The Signal (1/2)

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: Angst, death, blood, canon level violence, swearing.

Summary:  You go on a mission with Bucky.

A/N: Part 2 will hopefully be up sometime soon.

“You ready doll?” Bucky asked as you were nearing your drop off point. 

You nod back, not trusting your voice. No matter how many times you have had to parachute from a quinjet it will never get easier. Of course, Bucky can tell how nervous you are by the way you avoid eye contact and start tugging at the straps of your harness. He pulls your hands away replacing them with his own as he safety checks your parachute.

You know that you have done it all correctly but having him double check it is the reassurance you need. You watch him, his slightly furrowed brow and tongue poking out giving away how concentrated he is. 

He finishes his final check and looks up at you, “What are you smiling about?” He can’t stop his own grin from spreading across his face. Bucky didn’t just smile with his mouth, he smiled through the crinkles in the outer corners of his eyes, he smiled through the scrunch of his nose and he smiled through the relaxation of his whole body.

“You.” The contentment you feel, that comes from simply being near Bucky, is obvious in your body language and voice. His eyes glimmer as he leans forward pressing a gentle kiss to your lips.

Bucky had joined the team about two years ago. For one of his first missions you were paired up, you worked so seamlessly together that it would be silly not to put you with each other for more missions. This resulted in the two of you becoming close friends, he trusted and confided in you and you felt the same. 

It would be normal for the two of you to be holed up together after a tough mission, looking after the other but not wanting any social interaction with anyone else. You were both extremely similar like that, tending to fall inwards but you both became experts at drawing the other one out.

It was a natural transition from friendship to romantic relationship. You had just come back from mission and you were cuddled up in Bucky’s bed watching a film. Bucky had turned to you out of the blue and asked if you wanted to go on a date with him to which you immediately agreed. The feelings were already there from the bond you had formed, it was just the physical side that was needed.

This wasn’t a difficult thing to develop for either of you. Bucky had never met someone who completely overwhelmed his thoughts and feelings as much as you did. You were always on his mind whether it was a comment Sam made that he knew you would be on the floor laughing at or a mental picture of you sleeping, the morning light making your skin glow softly. He thought you always looked like an angel but especially in those moments.

You had never met anyone who's laughter was so infectious, it had become addicting to be the one to pull those noises from him, to lose yourself in his lopsided grins and crinkled eyes. He drew you in like a butterfly to nectar. You couldn’t get enough of him. His voice, his hands, his kisses.

This mission, on paper, was a simple one. Apart from jumping out of a quinjet and landing onto a moving train, all you and Bucky had to do was stop an illegal trade. That’s it. The mission file didn’t cover who the parties involved in the deal were. From your experience, being trained at the Academy and moving up the ranks of SHIELD before finally becoming an Avenger, you know that illegal trades are normally between civilians who are in over their heads in some kind of criminal group. However, not long into the mission you realised it wasn’t simple at all.

It turns out that one of the ‘unknown parties’ is Hydra, never a good sign. The weapons they are dealing are enhanced with alien technology and they somehow knew that you and Bucky were coming. The only reason the mission didn’t get pulled is because the rest of the team was on standby, ready to step in at any moment.

In fact, the job got so complicated, so quickly, that you and Bucky found yourselves at the back of the train, severely outnumbered and being pushed closer and closer to the edge of the train where the back wall had been blown to pieces by the very weapons involved in the trade.

It was loud, the sounds of fighting were drowned out by the noises of the wheels on the tracks. The train was moving fast and the wind was whirling around the carriage meaning just one misstep could send you flying off the train and landing on the tracks below.

There was a moment when you thought you were a goner, but Bucky managed to haul you back into the carriage, putting himself between you and the edge of the train. A move that warmed your heart, knowing his history with trains was not a good one.

“I fucking hate trains.” You remember him saying when you had first got the mission brief. “Nothing good ever happens on trains.” You had laughed back then, but there was nothing funny about the situation you were in now.

The next ten seconds seemed to happen so quickly. One of the attackers yelled something in what you assumed to be German, he was holding the weapon you recognised to be the same as the one that blew out the back wall of the carriage. Next thing you knew Bucky had wrapped his arm around you and was launching you both off the train. 

Time slowed and you seemed to float mid-air as you watched the carriage go up in flames, shrapnel flying everywhere, the heat burning your eyes and forcing them closed. Then came the impact of the fall, quite luckily Bucky had managed to aim for the snow on the sides of the train tracks and not in the train tracks themselves.

Bucky immediately sits up and sends the signal for extraction, he then starts checking himself for injuries. You are lying on your side facing him, half your body concealed by the snow, the other half just poking out. His eyes travel to you as he looks over your body.

“Are you hurt anywhere?” The concern was clear in his voice.

“No, I think I’m ok.” You try to move yourself but wince slightly. “I think I landed funny though because my side hurts.” You manoeuvre yourself onto your back. As soon as you get your right side out of the snow a gasp causes you to snap your head towards Bucky who is just staring in shock at your stomach.

His eyes are wide, eyebrows slanted upwards and mouth open slightly. You know whatever it is can’t be good. Gathering up the courage to look down at your stomach, you lift up onto your forearms. Finally looking down, the sight causes bile to rise and you have to stop yourself from gagging. A piece of shrapnel about the size of an A5 piece of paper is sticking out of your side. There is so much blood around it that it is hard to tell what it is and how deep it has gone.

It’s as if looking at it made it real because the pain suddenly hits you. Out of instinct your hand flies towards the wound to try and hold it or soothe it but Bucky quickly catches your hand stopping you. It’s like a flip switched in his mind. He suddenly starts stripping off his clothing. He takes his shirt and undershirt off before putting the rest of his gear back on. He moves behind you, placing his legs either side of you and lifting your upper body carefully, so you are now leaning on him. He manages to wrap your wound, careful to go around the shrapnel to try to stop the bleeding, but not push it in anymore. He continues to do the same with as much of his clothing as he can afford to lose in the snow. He takes your left hand and puts it over the clothing, then places his hand on top, telling you to press down as hard as you can, as he does the same.

You start to feel lightheaded, the pain in your side only getting stronger.

“Stay with me doll, backup is on its way. They’ll find us.” Bucky is practically begging and you try your hardest to keep your eyes open.

“You were right.” You say after a while and Bucky gives you a puzzled look. “Nothing good ever happens on trains.” You chuckle at your own joke but quickly stop when it causes shooting pains to fly through your body.

Bucky lets out a sharp breath from his nose. “When you get through this you will be able to join my ‘I survived a fall from a train’ club.” He jokes smiling down at you.

“I can’t imagine there are very many members of that club.” You smile back at him and he laughs, you can tell he is trying to distract you but you let him anyway.

“No, at the moment it’s just me. The events the club holds are very fun though!” His eyes light up as he continues to look down at you. “We’ve had freight night, that was watching scary movies that have a train in at some point. There’s train reaction, which is like the telephone game, that one was quite difficult with one person.” He laughs at himself which makes you giggle, trying not to contract your stomach. It doesn’t work and the shooting pains are back. The smile is still clear on your face and Bucky reaches his free hand up to push a bit of hair behind your ear.

“Bucky.” You whisper to get his attention, the words you want to speak are clear in the look of longing in your eyes. 

“No, baby please I don’t want to hear you say whatever you are going to say. You fight through this and you can tell me whatever it is when you’re better.” A frown is clear on his face.

“But I-“

“Please doll. You want to tell me whatever it is so badly, then use it as a reason to fight this. To come out the other side.” You scan his face and from the crease lines in his brow and the desperation in his eyes you can tell he already knows what you want to say.

You both fall into a comfortable silence. You realise being in Bucky’s arms is probably your favourite place to be. Feeling his chest steadily rise and fall, your head gently moving with it. You feel so protected, cherished, peaceful.

That is until Bucky looks down at your stomach to see that all the clothing he tried to use to wrap the wound has been completely soaked in your blood, he visibly winces. You move your head slightly to try and get a look but Bucky uses his free hand to tilt your chin up so you are looking at him instead. He holds the eye contact as he takes his jacket off and drapes it over you, covering your wound from your sight and warming you up as much as he can.

As secretively as he could, he sent the signal out to the team. The signal only used in extreme emergencies. Three long holds. The signal to say an agent doesn’t have long left to live.

The sharp sting of the cold has faded into exhaustion as the pain retreats from your body leaving behind a numbness you have never experienced before.

“I always thought I’d be alone.” You say pensively, “I never thought about death too much. I just always assumed I’d be alone when it happened.” You were slurring your words. If you were more aware of your surroundings you would have felt Bucky tense up at your words. Looking up into his blue eyes you wondered if death would be as serene as them.

“You’re not alone. I’m here.” Bucky’s once motivational words, convincing you to hold on, shift to words intended to comfort you, to draw out the fear of your final moments and replace them with solace. You had closed your eyes, his reassuring whispers gradually fading away as he cradled you close to his chest. You wanted to be able to hear his heartbeat but all you could hear was the erratic beating of your own heart pounding in your head. 

In the far distance you felt commotion around you so you used what was left of your energy to open your eyes one final time. The sight you were greeted with sent a wave of emotion through you. Your team members, your friends, they were all gathered around you, kneeling or standing in the snow.

“My family is here.” You smile to yourself as you let the tiredness overtake you. The last thing you feel is an ice cold tear rolling down your cheek. An overwhelming sense of calm consumes your body and your worries and fears simply fade to nothingness. 

Bucky knew even before the Avengers turned up that your chances of surviving this were slim. You were bleeding out fast and it was showing no sign of slowing. It killed Bucky to know that all he could do was make you as comfortable and reassure you as much as possible in your final moments of life.

When the team got Bucky’s first signal, the plan was for just Tony to go down and retrieve you both. Then the second signal came in. They all silently agreed they would land the quinjet and all go together, maybe to say goodbye if they had enough time. If not, just to be with you when you take your last breath. They all knew that there was nothing any of them could do.

What none of them could have predicted was Helen Cho and a SHIELD team transporting the cradle from one base to another. The flight path directly over your current location. Their quinjet picked up Bucky’s radio signal and they made the choice to land to see if they could help.

Upon arrival Helen rushed straight to you, checking for signs of life, she must have felt something because she ordered for you to be put in the cradle as quickly as possible.

Bucky was frozen, no he wasn’t cold, he was a super soldier, the cold barely affected him. He was simply in a state of daze, unable to move himself to get you into the cradle. Steve could see this and swiftly took you into his arms carrying you onto the other quinjet and placing you down in the cradle. As soon as you were secure Helen was directing a team of people to all do different things. Steve stepped out of the jet, not wanting to get in the way.

No one spoke, they all had their hopes that you would be ok, but no one was particularly optimistic. 

“We’ll take her to my lab, she’s not in a good condition and this jet can only sustain the cradle for so long, we can take one or two of you in this jet with us, but feel free to follow in yours.” Helen had stepped out and as soon as she finished her sentence it was like a flip switched inside everyone.

The team made their way back onto the quinjet but Bucky hadn’t moved, he was bathed in your blood, a ring of red surrounding him a stark contrast to the blinding white of the snow. Bucky gratefully accepted Steve’s hand helping him onto his shaky legs. He looked down at where he had just been. The red crater left in the snow told the story of what had happened but Bucky still couldn’t quite believe it.

Steve’s hand on Bucky’s shoulder guided him to the quinjet you were in. He sat there staring ahead unable to do anything more, Steve stayed close by his side but knew not to push anything.

“She wanted to tell me something.” Bucky suddenly breaks the silence but his gaze stays fixed ahead. “She wanted to tell me something and I couldn’t let her finish because I wanted to stay strong for her.” Steve stays silent knowing he wasn’t finished. “I didn’t let her say anything because I knew I would have broken down in front of her.” He continues as tears start to fall from his eyes. He feels everything, guilt, regret, pain, loss, hope but at the same time feels nothing at all. His body numb and still in shock.

“What if it was her dying wish to say whatever it was and I took that away from her.” A crack in Bucky’s voice causes Steve’s heart to contract. He pulls his friend into a hug, Bucky gladly accepting the comfort.

“We both know what she was going to say Buck,” Steve takes a deep breath to try to stop himself from crying, “and we know how she is. If she thought for one second you didn’t know what she was going to say, then she wouldn’t have let you stop her from saying it.” 

Of course Bucky knew what you were going to say because he felt it too. He knew, because to kill you both only one of you actually had to die.

Taglist: @vampirewithbedsidemanners @townwitchbitch @velvetcardiganbucky

[imkylotrash]

Black And White (Bonus Chapter)

Pairing: Saul Silva x reader

Summary: Saul pops the question. Meant to be read as the last chapter of the series. 

A/N This is the last chapter I’ll be writing for the Black And White series. Thank you so much for following along and making me smile with all your support and messages. I can’t wait for my new series to come out 💛

Series Masterlist

Tagging: @grey-girl @intoanothermind @anreeixcobra @kingunder221b @lflores2008 @alexiapayne12 @quuenofblacks @quarterback-5 @estelmei @bitchwhytho @music-of-melody @artsyle​ @baueoud @glowingatdawn @shadowhuntyi

Five years past quickly. In the blink of an eye really. You stay at Alfea with Saul and in time, you’re hired as a teacher. You never expected to love being a teacher as much as you do, but seeing these young people turn into adults with their own opinions does something to you that you’re not sure you’d find in any other job. 

“They’re getting good,” Saul notices as you’re watching over the graduates for this year. In less than two months they’ll be fully trained specialists ready to conquer the world. This time of year always gives you a feeling of nostalgia. You remember being in their shoes wondering where there’ll be a place for you. 

“They’re getting too comfortable though. One of them actually mouthed off to me the other day,” you say still surprised they had the guts. 

“You know, I remember a student much the same a couple of years ago,” he says daring to place his hand on your lower back. It still feels weird that you so openly can be affectionate towards each other even now. 

Farah came around a couple of months later when she realised that this wasn’t just a tiny fling. You have a theory that she mainly accepted it to keep her friendship with Saul but you didn’t complain. You understood her.

“I was not that bad,” you protest to which Saul raises an eyebrow. 

“You might want to give the others a chance,” Saul suggests looking back at the three others several feet behind you.

“Where’s the fun in that?” you reply careful to keep your voice down but clearly, Saul isn’t amused.

“I’ve been tracking since I was 5. I know these woods like the back of my hand,” you add quietly. Of course, he already knows this but he doesn’t seem to care right now. He’s not your Saul, he’s Mr. Silva and you hate it.

“Back of the line,” he says and you just can’t help yourself.

“Come on! I’m being punished because I’m too good? How does that even make sense?” you ask this time not caring if the others hear you. He can’t seriously be punishing you for being better than the rest.

“You just hate the fact that I’m better than you.” He pinches your side and you laugh thankful no one looks your way. You want the students to respect you, not see your boyfriend tickle you. 

“I’m fairly certain you’re mistaken,” he smiles. As much as you love his company, you shoo him away needing to focus on the students. There’ll be plenty time for you to talk tonight on your date. Your phone buzzes with a text from Harry reminding you that’ll he be arriving around 10 am tomorrow and you can’t help but shake your head. That boy has changed his time of arrival five times now. You send a quick reply before returning to class. 

The day passes by quickly and soon enough you’re walking hand in hand with Saul to the portal that’ll take you to Earth. 

“So, where are we going?” you ask once you’re safely through the portal. 

“You’ll see,” he says leading you to a black car which you find a little suspicious. It doesn’t take long before you realise where you’re heading but you don’t want to ruin the surprise so you keep quiet as the car approaches the planetarium. You’ve been talking about going to this place for almost a year now but your schedule hasn’t allowed you the time. Now, you’re finally here. 

“You like it?” he asks helping you out of the car. 

“I love it,” you whisper. He takes you straight to the stargazing area where he’s prepared with dinner in a basket and blankets to keep warm. You’re not sure what you’ve done to deserve him, but you know you’ll spend the rest of your life trying to give him even a smidge of the happiness he gives you. 

“This is beautiful,” you say sitting down on one of the chairs and craning your neck to be able to take it all in. The entire ceiling is filled with stars shining down on you. 

“Close your eyes,” he whispers holding your hand in his. You do as he says wondering what he’s got planned. 

“Open.” You open your eyes to see the image of the starry night has changed. The stars spell out “Will you marry me?” You look over at Saul who’s gotten on one knee holding out a ring. Tears well up in your eyes and you frantically blink to be able to see everything. You don’t want to miss a second of this. 

“Of course. Yes,” you whisper looking at the gorgeous ring in his hand. 

“You have to let me ask first, sweetheart.” 

“I don’t care. My answer is yes,” you burst out eager for him to put the ring on you. Inspecting the ring, you realise what it’s been reminding you off. 

“Did you?” 

“It’s my mother’s engagement ring. It matches the ring my father had.” 

“You won’t lose me. I’m coming back for you.” He reaches out to touch you and you let him.

“You don’t know that,” you say choking back tears. He gently grabs you by the waist and pulls you towards him.

“I promise you I’m coming back,” he whispers kissing your forehead. He gives you a minute to just breathe before gently placing two fingers under your chin to tilt your head up.

“You can’t promise something like that, Saul. No one can.” Images of your father leaving the house that morning flashes before your eyes proving that even with the best intentions, it doesn’t always go the way you intended.

“I can promise I’m coming back because I’ll need this back when I do.” He holds out his ring to you. It was his father’s ring and in the time you’ve known Saul he’s never taken it off. Carefully, he unlocks your necklace and adds the ring to the chain before closing the lock again.

“I love it,” you say cupping his cheeks and kissing him. You can’t get over how well planned this whole thing is. You never would’ve thought Saul to be such a romantic. 

“There’s no stress. But I know someone is waiting very impatiently outside,” Saul says regret already in his eyes which gives you a pretty good feeling of who exactly is waiting outside. 

“He can wait a little longer,” you smile kissing Saul again. You let him wait for half an hour before you head outside. Harry is leaned against the black car with a smirk. 

“I thought you two lovebirds had forgotten all about me,” he says pretending to be freezing, “It’s been 84 years.” His voice tremors perfecting the reference. 

“I thought you weren’t coming until tomorrow,” you say hugging him tightly. You’re so happy he’s here.

“That was the ruse to keep you from suspecting what was really going on. And I must say, I perfected my part.” 

“I’m already regretting having involved you,” Saul says but he hugs him all the same. The two have developed a sort of love / hate relationship where they fight like brothers but have each other’s back at all times. You’re glad they work so well together because you have no idea how you’d divide your time between them. 

“Can I see the ring? It’s the only thing grumpy over here kept to himself,” Harry says and you hold out your hand to let him inspect the ring. He takes a little too long just to keep Saul on his toes before looking up at you. 

“It’s as beautiful as the person wearing it. Congratulations.” He pulls you in for another hug. You’re not sure what the future holds for you but you know you’ll be able to face it all as long as you have these two in your life. 

[i-need-entertainment]

Chronostasis + “If the world was ending”

This is the 19th Oneshot for the Valentines Day Event, thank you so much to @purplefrost21 for requesting Chrono! I went ahead and picked a song, I hope this is okay! If you would like something different, feel free to message me!!

Starting now, I will also be splitting the writings into paragraphs, thank you to the anon who requested this, I appreciate it!

**Also, I wrote the hassaikai how I usually write it, slightly edited cause, ~plot reasons~ Overhaul will be not OOC, but a decent person and yeah**

Warnings- Pregnancy, allusions to iNtiMaCy but obviously no actual smut cause I don’t write it, eensy teensy amount of suggestiveness i gUess??? Not really?? idk but i’ll put it here anyway

Character: Chronostasis x reader

It’s been one year since you and Chrono had decided to call it quits. It’s also been one year since you decided to leave the hassaikai. You had known Chrono since you were 18, you had been down on your luck and had no where to go. That is until Pops found you and brought you in. You were quick to make friends with Chrono, matching his teasing and laid back personality nicely with your own. Four years later and you and Chrono’s friendship had developed into a different type of relationship. 

You often spent your nights together, sneaking around and keeping your relationship under wraps. You loved Chrono, in every sense of the word. You had given him your everything and he had given you his. You both were deeply and madly in love with each other, and you both could honestly see yourselves with each other for the rest of your lives. 

At least, that was the plan...”I think we need to break up.” You remember how the sound of your heart cracking echoed in your ears, your chest felt like 2 tons had been dropped onto your lungs, and time slowed to a pitiful stop. “...what?” He sighed as he took your hands into his, head hung low as he neglected to look you in the eye. “...The hassaikai isn’t what it used to be, it’s not safe for us to have a relationship anymore...I’m sorry Y/n, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore, any pursuit of a relationship would only be a distraction, it’s best if we...don’t see each other any more.” You hastily brought your sleeve to your eye to wipe the tears that had started to fall, trying to keep a smile on your face as you nodded.

 “...okay..” Chrono’s eyes widened, “Are you su-” “Yes.” You patted his knee as you stood, walking to the door of his room, giving him one last ‘smile’, “Good bye Hari.” You left his room, walking to your own and closing your door with a sigh. You sat down on your bed, hands grasping your knees as your sobs broke through, wet tears sliding down your face and onto the jeans you wore. You sat there, painful realization after realization came crashing down on you. ‘we’re done’..’he broke up with me’...’I-I have to do this alone’....’I can’t stay here.’ 

You hiccuped as your eyes widened, you stood and moved to kneel beside your bed, dragging your old suitcase out from under your bed. You packed as much as you could into it- not like you had much, before you rolled it to sit beside your door. You walked out and headed towards Overhaul’s office. You knocked on the door and entered when you heard a ‘come in’. You walked in and stood in front of his desk. “L/n..what can I do for you?” He leaned his chin on his fist as his elbow sat his his desk, his gold eyes looking as bored as they usually do. 

“I’m sorry for the short notice, but i’m going to have to leave the compound for awhile..” His eyebrows raised as he sat up straight. “..Are you wanting to leave the Hassaikai?” You shook your head, “No, but, I’m going to need some time away...I’m pregnant.” He slowly nodded, “Maternity leave?” You nodded as you kept your gaze towards the floor, “Very well, I’ll give you an assignment further away, one that’ll keep you out of the field.” You nodded, saying a quiet ‘thank you’ as he wrote down the information/permissions you’d need.

 You turned to leave, but before you could he spoke. “...does he know..?” You shook your head, “...no...but..I...I think it’s better if he doesn’t..not yet anyway...” He hummed as he sighed, “Well, if that’s what you think is best, you’re dismissed.” You nodded as you opened the door and left, walking to your room to get your suitcase before you left.

It’s been a year since you last saw Chrono. You had tried to let him go, to forget and leave him in the past. But that was a lot harder than you had originally anticipated. Because you still loved him. You would have thought that after a year of not having seen him after he broke up with you, you’d be able to leave him in the past. But you couldn’t. Cries took you out of your critical thinking. You shook yourself out of it before walking over to your little boy, Hayato. He was only 3 months, so he was still little...and quite the crier..But no matter how many sleepless nights or mini breakdowns you might have trying to get him to sleep, your entire heart belonged to your son, your little Hayato. 

You came in and softly spoke to your crying baby, softly picking him up and holding him by his bottom, softly cradling his head where it laid on your shoulder. You slowly swayed side to side as you held him, softly humming as you did this. His cries subsided, soft little *cute* hiccups escaping his small body as you rubbed his back. Sometimes nothing was wrong, he just needed to be held, comforted...you knew the feeling. You cuddled him for a little longer before you felt him calm down, and seeing as it was 10 past midnight, you set him down in his crib, making sure his stuffed elephant was close by. 

Giving his forehead one last kiss you walked out of his room, cracking the door and going to the kitchen to finish making the tea you were going to drink. Blowing on the hot cup you sat down on the couch, turning so you could look out the tall windows that were almost floor to ceiling. You only had a few lights on so the view of the city at night was clear. You sighed as you brought the tea cup to your mouth, taking a slow sip while your feet came up onto the couch with you. You sat there in the silence, the buzzing of various electronics in the background and the occasional sound of your sips the only noise filling the room. You smiled as you took a peak at the baby monitor you kept on the small end table, your little baby snuggling the small animal your boss, a good friend of Pops, gifted your son when he was born.

 All things considered, you were doing quite well for yourself. You had a high paying job as an assistant for a, despite being a hassaikai leader, kind boss who gave you a few months off to care for your child. You were able to live off compound in a good school district in a nice safe area. You were set on giving your baby the best life you could, the life you never got to have. *Knock knock* You slowly set the cup down on the table, moving the baby monitor into a drawer (you always made sure to hide it when ever business partners or anyone work related came, your sons safety was your utmost priority). You walked to the door and took a look through the peep hole, when you did your heart sped up, heart sinking to your gut. Because the man on the other side of the door was someone you didn’t expect to see for a long, long time.

**2 hours ago in the Shie Hassaikai base**

Chrono groaned as he sat down in the couch in Overhaul’s office, mask sitting beside him on the couch as he leaned his head back to rest against the back of the couch. “You look dead.” Chrono scoffed as his hand came to rub at his eyes. “Gee thanks, I really needed to hear that. I almost forgot my life sucked- thanks for the reminder.” Overhaul shrugged, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. “...When was the last time you saw her?” 

Chrono sighed, “....when she left the hassaikai...I haven’t heard from her since..I screwed up bad.” Overhaul now sighed as he reopened his eyes, turning his gaze to Chrono. “I’d say...” Chrono shot a glare towards his friend, Overhaul simply shrugging. “....she asked me not to tell you, but seeing as you’re miserable and I know you, i’m going to tell you anyways...” Chrono raised an eyebrow as Overhaul stood from his desk, leaning down to write something on a small piece of paper. He walked over to the couch, tossing the paper onto the couch beside his friend. 

Chrono picked it up, eyes narrowing as it listed an apartment complex and a suite number. “..The heck is this?” Overhaul walked back to his desk and sat down. “Her address....I’d prepare myself if I were you, she’s not the only one you left behind.” Chrono narrowed his eyes at the man, “What do you-” “Tell me Kurono, why did you think she suddenly left, to do office work nonetheless, right after you broke up with her?” Chrono looked down, “I’m not sure....I figured she was mad, upset..figured she just didn’t want to see me anymore.” Overhaul hummed, “Well, that’s partly true, but no. She left because she wasn’t the only one she had to look after anymore.”

 Chrono looked towards Overhaul, “...what are you saying?” Overhaul frowned (yes he’s still wearing a mask cHill) “..I’m saying there’s someone else in the picture now, your picture.” Like a flip being switched his eyes shot open. “...I got her pregnant..” “Bingo.” “...and I broke up with her..” “Yup.” “..I have a son i’ve never met..” “Or daughter.” Chrono glared at Overhaul, who was finding the situation unnervingly amusing. “We can keep bantering back and forth or you can go, I don’t care either way, but I do have work to do.” 

Shakily sighing Chrono stood, walking to the door. Turning around he looked to his old friend, “...thank you.” Overhaul waved him off with a sigh, “Thank me when you finally get your life back together.” Grinning Chrono walked out of the office, paper in hand and heart filled with determination. He was going to make this right.

**Back to present time**

Undoing the chain and bolt you unlocked the door. “...Hari..?” Everything he had prepared to say flew out the window when he saw you. You looked different..not in a bad way, but he could tell you had matured. You had your hair pulled back and held loosely by a clip, you were wearing a loose t-shirt and some leggings. “..Y/n..” You both stared at each other, neither one believing that the other was actually there. Snapping yourself out of your daze you spoke, “Uhm, what are you doing here? Not that it’s not great to see you! I just- I didn’t expect you to be...here..” 

He nodded, hands going into his pockets to hide how shaky they had become. “..I....I needed to talk to you...I need make things right.” You looked at him with a nervous expression, arms coming to cross in front of your chest, not in anger or frustration but to try to ground yourself. “I love you Y/n, and I don’t know what was going through my head when I broke up with you, but please believe me when I tell you it was the stupidest thing i’ve ever done. I never stopped loving you either, when I ended things it was because I thought it was the best thing to do at the time, I thought you deserved better...I didn’t think I could give you better...I’m so sorry. I was selfish and I hurt you and i’m so sorry.”

 You started to tear up, one of your hands coming up to wipe the tears that escaped. Shaking your head you gave him a small smile. “I never hated you...I don’t think I can. And I definitely never stopped loving you...This past year has been harder than you know, well, you might, you don’t look too good.” Chrono just chuckled as he shook his head, you lightly laughing. “..Just promise you won’t do that again..? I don’t want to be alone, and I don’t want to do this alone anymore either.” He looked confused for a second. “Wait here...there’s someone who wants to meet you.” 

His heart sped up as you walked back to your sons room, him walking into the small entryway and shutting/locking the door behind him. He wring his hands together, heart rate speeding up and his mind racing. He took a shaky breath in as you walked out of the room, but it caught in his throat when his dark eyes met identical ones. His gulped as he looked up to see you, silently asking for permission. Smiling you walked over to him, gently holding you- well, the two of you’s son out to him. He very carefully brought his son into his arms, holding him with his left as his right softly traced over his small features.

 He almost broke when his son latched onto his finger, he smiled towards his son, shoulders shaking as he held back tears. “His name is Hayato.” He looked to you and smiled, before looking back down to his little baby. “Hi Hayato...it’s nice to meet you...sorry i’m a little late...daddy was busy being an idiot.” He playfully glared when you said ‘Yeah he was’ before softening his look when he returned his gaze to Hayato. “But i’m here now...and I’m never going away again..I promise you that.” He looked up to you, meeting your glassy e/c eyes with his own gray ones. “Both of you.”

 After a good hour of holding his son you both put him to bed. Slowly cracking his door closed once again, you both moved to sit in the family room. But before he could sit you softly grabbed his arm. He turned around, stumbling when you threw yourself towards him, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you as close to him as he possibly could, head nuzzling into your shoulder. “...I was really scared you’d never come back...when you left, I knew I screwed up big time, but I thought you needed your space...but shoot, if I had known you were pregnant-” You shook your head, pulling away to look him in the eyes, hands coming to rest on his chest while his remained on your waist.

 “No, that parts my fault, and don’t even refute it...I didn’t tell you because I thought it would hold you back...that I would hold you back..and I didn’t want to keep you in a relationship you wouldn’t be happy in...but he’s your son, I should have told you.” He leaned down to rest his forehead back on your shoulder. He sighed as he chuckled, “We both made some pretty dumb choices, let’s leave it at that.” You laughed, cradling his head and running your fingers, carefully, through his hair.

 You were just enjoying the moment when  he started to softly kiss your shoulder, before he stood to his normal height and kissed your lips. His hands moved down to your hips, yours around his neck when you pulled away. “Uh uh, I know where this is going- I just had a kid 3 months ago, the last thing I need is another one!” Shrugging he leaned down to kiss your cheek, you almost gave in to the moment, caught up in the sheer romance of the gesture before he leaned closer to your ear, “The more the merrier~” Him laughing when you squealed as he picked you up and slung you over his shoulder.

You started to slap his back in protest before he ‘gently’ set you down on your bed, him climbing to the side of you to pull you in close, holding you like at any moment he’d wake up, this having all been a cruel dream. But when you wrapped your arms around him and burrowed into his chest he knew, he wasn’t too late. And as he drifted off to sleep that night, with you finally back in his arms, he couldn’t help but think that maybe it was luck, or even fate, but whatever it was that brought you back together, Chrono knew he would always find his way back to you.

“If the world was ending You'd come over, right?”

[demonicheadcanons]

I'm feeling angsty, could you do how Lucifer, Diavolo, and Barbatos would react when MC break up with them? (Due to MC having to go to back to the human world)

AN: Ahhh angst :3 Contains spoilers for season 1 of OM! (up to and including lesson 20).

I’m one of those people who doesn’t... really see them reacting in any extreme way, probably because I’m on the aro spectrum and don’t form strong romantic attachments so breakups don’t affect me ^^” Sorry if this isn’t as angsty as you were looking for.

Lucifer

Things had been going well after he had finally opened up to you. It was earlier than he expected, but after the whole issue with Belphie, Lucifer knew he had to make a move. Over the course of the year he’d gotten closer, and when he asked you out and you said yes, he’d been ecstatic, trying to ignore the fact that there were only a few months left of the exchange programme - you’d be invited to stay, and you’d never really talked much about any human connections that would stop you from accepting.

His confidence in the matter wavered slightly as the time got closer and you started to distance yourself from him. He doesn’t react much at first, maybe seems a little more frustrated during the day and is quicker to snap at people, but overall he tries to act unbothered. It would hurt his pride too much to admit that he was worried.

When you finally broke up with him, not long before you had to leave, he stands up very straight and looks steadily at you. In reality, he’s frozen, trying to make a decision, but it looks like he’s glaring at you, as cold as the day you arrived.

His initial reaction is to say no. To completely reject the idea. He considers it for a moment, just saying ‘no’ and turning away, the concept not even worth his time. But... it took him too long to build this up, and he actually had feelings invested in this relationship. If it had started as something less involved, he’d absolutely force you to stay in the relationship. But because it’s something he cares about, he doesn’t want it to be one sided.

His response is quite simple. He half smiles, eyes cold but otherwise unreacting, and says “Alright. I just wanted to remind you that we have a student council meeting today after school, and that your presence is required.” He walks off, and for the most part, he stays... fine?

He isn’t, really. Lucifer doesn’t get invested in things he doesn’t expect to last. He can do casual and he can do dedicated, but not jump from one to the other or have a dedicated relationship crumble leaving him with no clue why. He wallows in it, working hard to cover it up until the day you leave.

You see it in his face when he has to say goodbye to you. There are too many emotions to count, but anger and desperation win out in equal measures. “You could stay,” he reminds you. He won’t beg, won’t stoop nearly so low. But he... wanted to make sure you knew. You smile sadly at him. “I know. But I... don’t want to.”

Lucifer won’t tell anyone, but he does check up on you in the human realm after. Just once. He wants to see what’s so good about life up there that you turned him down for it, and he honestly can’t figure it out, but if he sees you with someone else? Your luck turns sour, things just seem to go wrong. His aura is faintly present, but he doesn’t leave any hints that it could be him causing it. It won’t last long, but the bad spell is bad. He’ll move on, in time. He’s just looking for some stress relief before that.

Diavolo

He wasn’t sure when he’d started to taking a liking to you, but he had decided to pursue it almost entirely on a whim, and let his feelings slip at his birthday party when he was a little out of it. You’d still been ignoring him, and he knew it was his fault - after all, hadn’t he sacrificed you for the brothers? Hadn’t he made it clear what you meant to him, in your mind? It took until he was leaning on the banquet table beside you, one elbow against it as he smiled at you and mumbled how he actually felt, for both of you to understand, and you’d been inseparable since. He’d even been considering a pact, towards the end of the year. Wouldn’t it keep you with him?

The answer, it turned out, was no. You had been avoiding him and he was desperate to find out why, and kept you behind at the end of a meeting, waving Lucifer and Barbatos both on. Barbatos gave you the faintest glare before leaving, clearly having been the one who’d been comforting Diavolo in your absence.

When you tell him you want to break up, he doesn’t really know how to react at first. He lets out a simple ‘ah’ and then presses one hand to his chin, expression unreadable. After a brief pause, a few dreadfully quiet beats, he asks why. You had everything you could want here, didn’t you?

But not really. As much as the Devildom had felt like it over the past year, it still wasn’t home. You were still just a human. You didn’t have the sun, the animals here were hostile, and you were so very alone the second you stepped out of the house because no matter how many classes you went to and no matter how long you stayed, how many times you’d tried to interact with others, the demons were just... uninterested in you, or outright infuriated by your presence. And you missed the human realm, too, for so many more reasons.

You explain what you can to Diavolo before getting too upset and clamping your jaw shut, and when you glance up at him you see a storm of emotions wash over him. The one that settles is a blank frustration, a cold air that seeps out into the room and leaves you shivering because he’d never really looked at you with anything but that warmth that had shone in his eyes and radiated out from him when he confessed to you. He’s quiet, looks calm despite it all, and he just sighs.

“Alright. If you don’t intend to stay, I suppose that’s your decision,” he says, voice on the edge of something, but he smiles loosely and gestures for you to leave. Anything you say doesn’t really land with him, and he just continues to smile and lead you towards the door. Barbatos and Lucifer are waiting, confused, but Diavolo just laughs and says “I’ll see you later then, MC!”

The problem arises when he seems... completely normal over the next few weeks. He’s similar to how he was when you’d first arrived, that kind of distant and polite 

Underneath it all, Diavolo is... torn. He’d rarely formed actual connections with people, was careful as could be as the upcoming King of the Devildom. Realistically, if he wanted to, he could keep you here. But... he didn’t. You clearly didn’t care for him as much as he did for you, and whilst that hurt, it wasn’t something he planned to dwell on. He has too much to do, and so he decides he’s just going to have to get over it and keep moving on. It might be upsetting to see, but Diavolo is the quickest of the 3 to visibly recover from it.

Barbatos

Your relationship was one that had slowly developed. Barbatos had watched the others essentially fall for you, and in his curiosity, had pursued some sort of friendship to see what was so special about you that you had 8 of the most powerful demons trailing after you and seeking your affection.

He hadn’t quite figured it out but instead found himself very relaxed when you were around. It made his day easier, made him feel a little lighter. He waited to see if you felt anything similar before making a move, and thankfully, it had all worked out. His intention, though, was to pursue more of a casual relationship. You were human, your time was limited. Barbatos also didn’t have the time to develop a dedicated relationship.

His job was still his priority, and this was something he would come to regret when you started distancing yourself from him. The dates you’d have when he had a break became shorter and less frequent, with you making excuses for not being able to show up. Your time in the Devildom was nearing an end, and he was starting to realise that maybe he did crave you presence more than he intended to.

When you broke it off, he was very... accepting. He simply nods at you, bowing stiffly and making some comment about how it was good whilst it lasted. Not one to dwell on things, Barbatos continues going about his days as normal, but during his breaks he’s visibly upset. Its less enjoyable on his own again now that he knows what its like to have someone around, someone excited to see you. He avoids you as much as he can, but doesn’t go out of his way for it.

He also blames himself, and when you leave to go back to the human realm, he finds himself wondering if he could go back and fix it, spend more time with you, make it more of a priority. He doesn’t. But he could. For a brief period he’s quite bitter, but Barbatos is quick to recover and move on. The future will hold many experiences.

[jalapeno-princess]

Off Limits

Gynecologist Mark X Reader

Word Count: 7.6K

Genre: Angst, fluff, badly written smut (the whole shabang) 

Warnings: Fingering, hand job, oral (female receiving) doctor & patient relationship (honestly I was very hesitant on writing something like this (BUT I’VE SEEN KINKIER SHIT ON HERE SO YOLO)

Summary: You’ve been having pelvic pains and after voicing your concerns to your mom, she recommends that you go and see a gynecologist. It’s in that moment when you find out that your childhood crush Mark Tuan is the doctor she is referring to and before you could object, she ends up making you an appointment. Seeing Mark for the first time since he went away for college sends butterflies to your tummy and you don’t think you’ll be able to last through the entire appointment knowing what he is going to have to do to you. You discover that Mark harbors the same feelings you’ve had for him for the entirety of knowing him and little do you know, you are the reason for the fall out of his friendship with your brother.

A/N: Hey guys, I really don’t know where this idea came from and I’m honestly kind of all over the place with the idea of this BUT WHATEVER I’m sorry if it’s uncomfortable but IDK it’s probably my hoe ass fantasies getting the best of me please enjoy (I also was kind of lazy to go in to depth about the smut so sorry about that)

When you walked in to the doctor’s office, you were immediately greeted by the receptionist at the counter as she asked you for your name and time of your appointment. Since you were a new patient, she handed you some paperwork to fill out and informed you that she would call you when it was your time to go in. As you took a seat and began filling out the forms, you couldn’t help but secretly wish your mom went with you to your appointment. 

Sometimes you’d forget you were 23-years-old with the way your mom still had to schedule your appointments and there were times that she’d be in the office with you and even talked to your doctor for you. Right now, as you continued to insert your information, you wanted nothing more than for her to be with you, especially because the doctor you were seeing just so happened to be the same person you’ve had a crush on since you were 7-years-old. 

Just a few days ago, you called your mom after you finished work and complained about having a dull pain in what you assumed was your ovaries. Being the irresponsible person you were, you hardly ever went to visit your gynecologist which both upset and worried your mom, especially because of the many different diseases and syndromes there were in women’s private areas. After scolding you for being a procrastinator and waiting till something was wrong with you to actually go and get checked up, it was in that moment that she recommended you go and see Mark Tuan. 

Mark Tuan was your older brother’s best friend since elementary school. The two of them were practically two peas in a pod. Wherever one went, the other followed. Whatever sport one joined, so did the other. They were just that close; that meant you saw Mark almost every single day. 

When you were younger, he would always jokingly bully you; but deep down you knew his playful antics were all in good fun. He would always try to keep you out of your brother’s room as they played video games, steal the last cookie in the cookie jar since you weren’t able to reach it and made fun of the fact that you owned so many stuffed animals. 

It was in those moments of teasing that you developed a hatred for the older boy. Whenever he came over, you’d never acknowledge his presence and pretended he never existed. Even at dinner if he were to stay over, you found yourself sitting as far away from him as possible. The longer you held a grudge on him and stayed away from him, the more you realized that you didn’t hate him. No, you were developing a crush on him. But you were too young to even know what feelings were and when you explained what you felt about him to your mom, she thought it was adorable and told you it was puppy love. 

However, as you grew older, your feelings for Mark grew deeper and deeper more and more every day. Whenever he laughed or smiled, your heart felt as if it were about to burst from out of your chest. Since he was five years older than you and because he was your brother’s best friend, you pushed the idea of him reciprocating your same feelings to the back of your mind. You never failed to notice how his facial features and even his body grew more defined as the years went on and it only made things harder for you. 

You’d have to come up with excuses not to be around him because you’d act like a complete idiot if he was around and the last thing you needed was for anyone, Mark especially to find out that you liked him. Unfortunately, in your senior year of high school, Mark graduated with his bachelor’s degree in psychology and got accepted in to one of the most prestigious medicinal colleges in the country. From the time you met him, Mark made it known that he wanted to be a doctor of some sort. 

He always loved helping people and wanted to give back to his community in any way that he could. It was one of the main reasons why you liked him so much and although you were going to miss him, you know his absence was going to be a good thing. You needed to get over him and this was the only way possible. 

Your senior year came and went and before you knew it, you were applying to many different colleges all over the world. You ended up moving to New York and attended NYU with the intent of getting your degree in education. Just like Mark, you loved being able to lend a hand to anyone who needed it and the idea of being able to enhance and teach the little minds of children always sent a smile to your face. 

As soon as you graduated, you returned back to your hometown with the thought of teaching at your old elementary school. You haven’t talked to or heard from Mark since he left all those years ago, but your mom never failed to update you on his achievements and the fact that he was now a very well known gynecologist. You felt childish when you found yourself cringing and squirming at the idea of Mark having to possibly look at you down there, especially because you’ve daydreamed about being intimate with him every now and then. 

He was a gynecologist, it was his job to make sure everything was okay in your vaginal region, so why were your hands clammy and why were you so nervous at the idea of him having to observe your lady parts? Not too long after filling out all of your papers and handing them back to the receptionist, she called you over and had you follow her in to one of the rooms. 

“Okay y/n, what brings you here today? Is it just a regular check up or is there something bothering you?” You scratched the back of your neck in embarrassment at the actual reason for your visit before speaking up. 

“I—um—I’ve been having pains uh—down there. It’s not so much painful as it is uncomfortable but it does bother me and my mom wanted to make sure nothing is wrong with me.” She nodded in understanding while writing down everything you were telling her. After a few moments, she handed you a hospital gown and told you to remove everything and let you know that Mark was going to come in soon. You’ve seen a gynecologist a few times back in college, but this was the first time seeing one after returning home and you knew you should’ve went and looked for someone else. Who cares if Mark was highly recommended and if he was good? He was like an older brother to you. 

Although, you noticed he began to grow distant towards you right before he left and it pained you that he was no longer the happy go lucky pain in the ass that he always was towards you almost your entire life. While you were away at college, you also learned that he and your brother had a little fall out and you believed it was because they went their separate ways and neither of them had time to keep in touch. 

The idea of him practically seeing you naked in an environment like this made you extremely uncomfortable and you almost found yourself running out of the entire office completely. You were an adult, you had to suck it up and just deal with the fact that Mark was your new gynecologist. 

Changing out of your clothes felt extremely awkward and you felt so vulnerable knowing you were entirely naked under the hospital gown. You knew Mark had to be professional in an occupation like this and you were sure he’s seen quite a few vaginas in his career, so it didn’t matter that the two of you knew each other. You were going to try your best to look at him as your doctor and not the boy who helped teach you how to ride a skateboard so you could make it to your classes on time back in your freshman year. 

The soft knock on the door broke you out of your thoughts and as soon as your eyes landed on him, your breath hitched. It’s been almost four years since you’ve seen him and you didn’t think it was possible knowing how handsome he always was, but he became even more gorgeous. Seeing him in a doctor’s coat with a dress shirt, slacks and a tie you recognized that your family bought for him when he first entered college made your head spin. How could someone be this good looking? It wasn’t fair and the toothy grin he was sending your way sent tingles down your spine. 

“Hey stranger. How’ve you been? I had to do a double take when I saw your name on my upcoming appointment list. You look great y/n. And I heard you’re a teacher now, congratulations.” You felt as if someone had a hold on your tongue. His compliment made you freeze and you felt so small under his gaze. Why did your mom force you in to making him your new gynecologist and why didn’t you disagree with her? This was going to be a long day. 

“I—hi. I’ve been good. Thank you for asking. Yeah, I just started teaching kindergarten a few months ago and I love it so far. Congratulations on opening your own practice although, I can’t say I’m not surprised. You were always so hard working and went after everything you set your mind to.” For someone who was about to turn 28-years-old, his adorable high pitch laughter never changed and it sent warmth to your cheeks. His laugh had to be one of your favorite sounds in the entire world. 

Mark was always soft spoken and shy around those he didn’t know all too well but you knew the real Mark and it seemed like he was always laughing whenever he was at your house. There were a few occasions where you made him laugh and it tugged on your heartstrings knowing you were the reason behind such a beautiful sound. You would listen to him laugh all day if you could. 

“Yeah, shit was rough but I guess it was worth it. I’ll be honest with you, gynecology was the last field I’d find myself in but the doctor I was studying under recommended it and claimed it wasn’t as cutthroat of a profession as other medical occupations. I’ve delivered a couple of babies and that was pretty cool. I kinda was hoping to go in to pediatrics like Jinyoung, but he always complains about it every now and then but then again, he wasn’t always fond of kids. Ah, I’m blabbering like I always used to—Erica said you’ve been having pains down there. How long has it been going on for?” You began to think about when the pains first started happening and shrugged indifferently. 

“Almost a month ago but I didn’t think anything of it. I guess I assumed it had to deal with my period but I’ve had these pains even after my cycle was over.” You were quick to notice how Mark’s eyes never left yours once since he entered the room. He has always been like that since you were kids. Even if he was quite the jokester, whenever you’d talk to him his eyes were constantly looking you over; giving you his full attention. You’d find yourself fumbling your words knowing that he always had his gaze on you and it never seemed to falter. When you heard a soft chuckle fall from his lips, you raised one of your brows and looked at him in curiosity. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh it’s just—you haven’t changed one bit. You were always the procrastinator. Especially whenever it comes to your health and well-being. Remember when you were riding your bike, went over a speed bump, fell off and scraped your knee? Instead of running in the house to go clean it, you took a picture and posted it on Instagram.” 

You found yourself laughing along with him when you remembered the exact memory he was referring to. You had just turned 14 at the time and wanting to impress Mark, you decided to try out some tricks that you saw on YouTube. He was a just starting college around that time, and being the delusional little girl you were thinking that maybe one day there could be something between the two of you, you wanted to show him that you were mature enough for him. 

However, your plans went to shit the minute you fell off of your bike but instead of crying like you knew you probably would have if you were younger, you took out your phone and snapped a picture of the huge gash on your knee. Mark didn’t hesitate to run over to you the minute you tipped over and politely scolded you before ripping off a piece of his flannel and wrapping it around the wound as a makeshift bandage. That memory was one of your favorites with Mark. He showed genuine concern and worry for you and it made you smile like an idiot knowing he cared about you. 

“I know. I should take better care of myself. I’ll try better.” He nodded in agreement before taking a look at his clipboard and returning his attention back to you. 

“Okay y/n, this is the part where it’ll probably get weird knowing our history together, but I have to ask these questions as your gynecologist.” From past experiences at the gynecologist office, you knew exactly what questions he was referring to and you took in a deep breath while allowing him to continue.

“Do you drink or smoke?” You shook your head in disagreement. Mark and your brother were party animals. Your parents had to pick them up every now and then from parties because they got too drunk and couldn’t find their own way home. You on the other hand didn’t find the point in getting drunk nor did you want to ruin your lungs over something so unnecessary such as smoking.

“Do you have regular periods?”

“I think so.”

“Are you pregnant or think there’s a chance you are pregnant?”

“No.”

“Are you sexually active?” You knew the question was coming and you dreaded it. It felt weird having to tell him of your intimate life but like he said, it was his responsibility as your doctor to ask you these questions. 

“No. Not right now.” If you weren’t staring at the ground in attempts to hide the redness on your cheeks, you’d be able to see the blush on Mark’s. He was just as flustered asking you these questions as you were answering them but he had to be a mature adult and put your past and the fact that the two of you knew each other to the back of his mind. 

“How many sexual partners have you had in the last year?”

“None.”

“Bullshit.” As soon as the profanity fell from his lips, that’s when you found yourself looking up at him. What exactly did he mean by that?

“Excuse me?” He must’ve not realized exactly what he said because his eyes widened in shock. 

“Sorry—I didn’t—it’s nothing. Forgive me, it’s been a long day. Now, back to the questions.” Knowing Mark for as long as you have, you knew that he was lying. There was meaning behind his confrontation and you were dying to know why the blurted out the word bullshit; but he wasn’t going to say it. It took you back to the last day you saw him. Your family went to see him off at the airport before he left for college and he pulled you in to a tight hug before opening his mouth as if he wanted to tell you something; but nothing came out. It must have not been important and you tried your best to forget about what it is that he wanted to tell you no matter how badly you wish he would’ve said it. 

“Do you—uh—do you touch yourself?” Again, you knew he had to ask you that but you really did not want to answer the question. You’d be lying if you said no and you felt weird if he knew that yes, you were guilty of masturbation. Mark was the last person you wanted knowing that you played with yourself every now and then and you were sure he’d look at you in a different light if you told him the truth but when you found yourself nodding in agreement, you knew it was too late. 

Seeing his ears turn red made you stifle back a laugh. Was he really getting bashful asking you questions you knew he probably asked every single one of his patients? Did he act so nervous and flustered whenever he had to ask them these questions, or was it because it was you, someone he probably considered a younger sister that he now felt awkward having to inquire about what you did in your free time? 

“Okay, now that we’re done with the questions, I’m going to have to uh—check under your breasts to make sure there aren’t any lumps. Then I’ll do a Pap smear. Is that okay—alright? Are you okay with that?” Hearing him stutter as his cheeks continued to darken made your heart warm. You’ve seen Mark get crushes on girls in his grade and it made you green with envy. He always talked so highly about the girls he liked; as if they were one of the seven wonders of the world. You could only dream about being the lucky girl Mark called his. He slowly made his way towards you and gave you an awkward smile before standing right in front of you. 

“I uh—I’m going to uh—start now. If it feels uncomfortable or you feel weird just let me know. The last thing I want is for you to feel uneasy and tense.” 

You smiled at how much of a gentleman he was being. You were sure he was just as gentle and kind with his other patients, but right now he was treating you so delicately as if he was afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. Before you could prepare yourself, his hand made it’s way into the hospital gown and right under your left breast. 

He gently began grazing his thumb and kneading the skin making sure there was no lump or anything he had to worry about. Feeling his cold fingers against your chest sent a warm sensation in between your thighs. You tried your best not to make it obvious that having him touch you in such a way was driving you to the brink of insanity, especially because it was his job, but you’ve fantasized about being in this situation many times. 

Every now and then, you’d find yourself admiring Mark from afar and whenever your brother allowed you to, you’d find yourself playing video games with them and you couldn’t help but stare at his fingers and realize how long and skinny they were. Honestly, his fingers were always so pretty and one of your favorite features on him. You wanted nothing more than to hold his hand and even have his fingers wrap around your neck while he’d pound himself inside of you. It was during your times of self pleasure that you’d pretend it was Mark doing that to you. 

Sure, you had a couple of one night stands here and there back in college and you even had a boyfriend back in your junior year, but Mark always stayed in the back of your mind after all of these years. He was all your heart craved and wanted to know. It was foolish for you to desire a relationship beyond what you and Mark already had but you couldn’t help yourself. He was your first love and he’d probably stay on your mind until you found someone who could take his place; if that someone even exists. 

You could tell he was hesitant and trying his best not to overstep his boundaries but it was taking every bone in your body not to grab his hand and have him cup your mound while toying with your nipple. To your dismay, he finished with your left side and made his way over to the right, continue his ministrations while trying his best to pretend as if nothing was wrong. Like he wasn’t practically massaging your breasts; like he didn’t enjoy it and want to do more. No, he couldn’t think like that. You were his best friend’s younger sister. There was no way anything could happen between you both; no matter how much he wanted to throw you on to the table and fuck your brains out. 

You didn’t know it, but you were driving Mark crazy. He was always so fond of you and he always found you so adorable. Sometimes he felt bad about teasing you, but seeing your adorable puppy dog eyes made it all worth it. The explicit and erotic thoughts that were running through his mind sent off red flags and he knew he needed to finish this appointment with you before he did something he’d regret but not because he didn’t want to. 

Mark wanted to show you just how much he’s missed you since the two of you have been apart from each other, but it was just too weird and you were technically off limits to him anyway. Knowing you were his best friend’s younger sister didn’t change the fact that Mark thought you were extremely attractive and that you became even more beautiful and dangerously sexy now that you were a young woman. 

You were wearing a hospital gown yet you looked so ethereal and Mark knew himself to know that he was only seconds away from ripping the damn gown off and ravishing you and your body in ways that he’s always wanted to. Finally, he was done with checking for any lumps on your breasts and he felt like a huge weight lifted off of his shoulders. Now came the hardest part. The Pap smear. If he had a hard time touching and practically fondling your breasts, what more when he had to practically have his face right in front of your pussy which he was sure was probably lubricated with your juices? 

He was so close to saying fuck it and letting his carnal urges take over, but he knew there was going to be consequences for his actions if he continued to think with his second head. “You’re all clear. Now I’m gonna do the Pap smear and hopefully we’ll be able to find out why you’re in pain. If not, I’m going to have to do an ultrasound. Let me just get the tools, can you lie down and lift your legs up?” 

You did as you were told and you couldn’t help but giggle at the coolness against the balls of your feet when you placed them against the stirrups. You watched as Mark began to shake as he made his way through the cabinet, grabbing some gel and the tool used for Pap smears. Seeing him freak out at having to do this made you feel at ease for some odd reason. Probably because you weren’t the only one feeling weird. The tension in the air was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. Once he took a seat right in front of your bare thighs, he lifted up the gown and began his examination. 

“I’m going to apply some gel to lubricate you—I um—I’m also going to have to use my fingers but that’s normal. Don’t hesitate to ask me to stop alright?” You nodded but internally screamed at the idea of him fingering you. What were you even thinking? Like he said, it was something he had to do. The Pap smear tool could only do so much and just like he did when checking your breasts for any lumps, he had to make sure there weren’t any lumps in your vulva. Although you couldn’t see him, you knew he was applying some gel on his fingers and you had to bite your lip when you felt him bring his two fingers up to your entrance. 

“Ready?” You let out a soft hum and before you knew it, he pushed his fingers inside of you. In order to prevent yourself from coming off as a bigger fool, you bit down on your lip in attempts to keep any sound from falling out of your mouth. Foreplay was always one of your favorite parts of sex and fingering always seemed to rile you up. Sure, this was a part of the exam, but it felt so good. 

He began to move his fingers around in order to evenly spread the cold lubricant around your folds and little did you know, Mark was about to scream at how tight you were clenching around his fingers. You were practically soaking to the point where he didn’t think he needed the damn gel. Why were you so wet? And why was Mark ready to risk it all just to have his way with you? 

You were sure your lip was probably bleeding with how tight you were biting down on it and before you knew it, the unthinkable happened. A soft moan fell from your lips at his ministrations. You couldn’t help yourself, his fingers felt so good buried in your cunt and you had a hunch that he too was enjoying himself. The last time you had a Pap smear, your gynecologist was quick to insert the gel, did the Pap smear and called it a day. With the way Mark began pumping his fingers inside of your pussy, you knew he was going beyond the actual exam and you couldn’t find it in yourself to tell him to stop. You didn’t want to. 

This is all you wanted the minute you first started getting intimate with men. Whenever you had sex, you’d imagine it was Mark loving on your body every single time. There was one instance you almost said his name while another guy was going down on you and you practically bolted the minute you both came. You gasped in shock at the noise and you prayed he didn’t hear it but the growl that came from the back of his throat answered your question. 

“Fuck—shit—y/n—I’m so sorry but fuck—this is against the rules and I told myself to never get involved with you in that way but fuck—you’re so fucking beautiful you know that? And extremely fucking sexy—can I—can I continue? You’re so wet and so fucking tight. You’re taking my fingers so—so well—swallowing me so well—shit.” 

He continued to pump his fingers in and out of your soaking pussy all the while leaving kisses on both of your thighs. You couldn’t form any complete sentences; you were too in awe at his confession and you had a hard time accepting this was going on right now. Mark Tuan, the boy you’ve harbored feelings for; for over a decade was currently fingering you like his life depended on it. His fingers felt so good pumping inside of you and you couldn’t help but want more. 

You knew this was wrong; not only was he your brother’s best friend, but he was a doctor and this was his establishment. There had to be some kind of law that did not allow doctors to fool around with their patient but you weren’t necessarily just a patient to Mark nor was he just a gynecologist to you. The minute you felt him curl his fingers inside of you, you clenched you’re legs together as a way to get him to slow down. Slowly but surely, your orgasm was building and he might have been amazing with his fingers, but this was not the way you wanted to cum. 

“M—Mark—m—more. I want—no I need more please.” A stifled giggle fell from his lips and right before you could question him, you felt him lick a strip up at your entrance. 

“Fuck.” Everything about Mark never failed to rile you up and excite you. Whether it be his devastatingly handsome good looks, extremely charming personality or his intelligence, he was everything you wanted in a significant other and more. Mark was the blueprint of what you wanted in a man and that’s probably why you’ve been single for so long. Not only did you want to focus on your career and be able to live a free life while you were still young, but nobody ever compared to Mark and right now, as his face was buried in between your thighs, nipping and sucking on your clit, you knew there was no way you’d ever get over this. 

Both his lips and his tongue did wonders on your pussy. Hearing him slurp up your juices and hum against your core made you dizzy. If someone were to tell you years ago that Mark Tuan would be eating you out in one of the rooms at his workplace, you would’ve laughed in their face. But here you were, practically screaming in to the pillow that was provided because Mark was giving you head like a professional. He knew exactly what to do to make you squirm and the grip on your thighs made things even more difficult. Your hands absentmindedly made their way to his hair, tugging and pulling on it the longer he continued to lap up your wetness, and before you knew it he was adding in both his fingers causing you to let out a wanton cry. 

“Shit—shit—Mark—“ he hummed against your clit and your body warmed up at the feeling. 

“Are you close baby?” The pet name sounded so sweet falling from his lips. You’ve heard him call his girlfriends back in high school different terms of endearment and you’d find yourself feeling jealous and wanting him to do the same to you. But you were just a kid in Mark’s eyes at that time. Hearing him call you baby was such an indescribable feeling and you could only hope that whatever this currently was going on with the both of you wasn’t just a one time thing. 

When you nodded at his words, you felt him place a soft kiss against your clit as he pulled both his fingers and his face away from where you needed him the most. “You taste so fucking good by the way. I could eat you out for hours. So fucking sweet.” The whine that fell from your lips made you embarrassed; it was obvious you were desperate for release and you didn’t think Mark was capable of being such a tease, but this man was really going to be the death of you. 

“Mark what the fuck—“ his lips were warm against yours and no matter how many times you’ve dreamt about kissing him, nothing would ever compare to actually feeling his mouth smashed against yours. The kiss was rough; needy, he began roughly sucking on your bottom lip and bringing it in between his teeth. He joined you on the table and hovered over your lap; pressing himself up against you and your cheeks grew hot once you felt his hard on against your thigh. 

You had no words to describe how amazing it felt kissing Mark. He always had the prettiest heart shaped lips and they always looked so soft, so kissable. His lips tasted like strawberry chapstick and it only reminded you of how obsessed he was with applying lip balm back in high school because in his words “chapped lips weren’t sexy.” His hands roamed your body as your make out session continued and to your surprise, he pulled away quickly but only to practically rip your hospital gown off. 

“Y/n—are you okay with this? I’m not—I’m not forcing you or making you feel as if you have to do this right? We can stop if you’re not comfortable—I know this is wrong for so many reasons and it’s so immature and irresponsible of me but I can’t stop—you don’t know how long I’ve wanted this for. You—I—I’m in love with you. I’ve always been in love with you for the longest time. Longer than I’d like to admit. You’re an ethereal being you know that? It’s been years since I’ve seen you and my feelings for you have never faltered. If anything, they’ve grown stronger as the days go by. I know—it’s probably hard to believe but I’m telling the truth. It’s always been you y/n. I’m sorry, I chose the wrong time to confess my feelings for you, but I don’t want you thinking I’m just fooling around with you for the sex. I want you, for you. For as long as I can have you for.” 

You knew he was waiting for your response with the way he leaned back and looked at you with what you assumed was admiration. His confession made your entire thought process come to a halt. You had a hard time believing this was even happening right now. This was the same boy who stuck gum in your hair and told you girls couldn’t play sports. He was also the same guy who used to walk home from school instead of catching the bus in order to save his money to buy you a present for your 10th birthday. How could he be in love with you? 

You’ve seen all the girls he’s been with throughout the years and you were sure he was surrounded with many more mature, gorgeous and successful women. He could get anyone he wanted and with his good looks and social status, he probably had so many women groveling at their feet for him. Plus the two of you haven’t seen each other in forever, there was no way he could still have feelings for you since it’s been so long. You didn’t realize you were holding in your breath until you felt him brush some of your hair back. 

“I—I scared you didn’t I? I’m sorry y/n. I shouldn’t have said anything, please forget everything I just said and please don’t say anything to your brother. He already hates me as it is.” 

Your mom told you that they had a fallout and that they grew distant from each other and for some reason it upset you. They were friends for over a decade and you were sure they were going to be life long friends. Surely it couldn’t have been the distance that would interfere with their relationship. So what happened between the two of them that caused your brother to end their long term friendship? As the question was on the tip of your tongue, Mark looked at your curious expression and answered for you. 

“He found out that I liked you. We were out at a bar one night, a couple of days before I left and I took one too many shots of vodka. I don’t remember how you came up in the conversation but apparently I wouldn’t shut up about how beautiful I think you are and how much I wanted to be with you. I know liking you was wrong the minute I recognized that I harbored feelings for you. Every time I saw you or spent time with you, I had this foreign feeling in my stomach; excitement maybe? Happiness? Love? I kept it to myself for a long time. The age difference and the fact that you were in my life for such a long time already because of my friendship with your brother only reminded me that nothing could happen between us no matter how badly I wanted you. I love every single thing about you y/n. Your quirkiness, your determination, your strength, your kindness, how headstrong you are. You might not think so, but to me you’re perfect y/n.” 

You didn’t know whether or not he was done talking, but you wanted him to know that you felt the exact same way. Feeling Mark smile in to the kiss that you initiated made your heart flutter; you weren’t that good with words so you could only hope your actions spoke for you. You brought your hand up to his face and gently caressed his cheek all the while deepening the kiss. Only when you felt his dress pants rub against your naked core did you realize that you were completely bare while he was still fully clothed. 

“Mark—“ he brought his finger up to your lips in order to silence you while continuing from where he left off before you interrupted him with a kiss. 

“The next day, I woke up with a throbbing headache and a few messages from the guys. I had no idea what they were talking about when they told me that it was best to stay away from both you and your brother and then I watched the video Youngjae sent me. I was so mad at myself. I threw my friendship with your brother down the fucking drain and I knew I was going to lose you too. I think it was a good thing that I was moving away so I could use that as an excuse. I kept lying to myself and told myself that it was for the best but it fucking sucked y/n. Your brother was like a brother to me. I wanted to explain myself, but he wouldn’t listen. Apparently I confessed some things that your brother felt was totally out of line and I don’t blame him. If it was the other way around, I’d be pissed too. And fuck, I missed you so much. Your contagious laugh, your breathtaking smile, the fact that you continued to want to hang out with me no matter how mean I was towards you. If I’m being completely honest, I was more upset with losing you than I was your brother. Pathetic right? God, the more I talk about it the more foolish I sound.” 

You began running your hands up and down his back as a way to calm him down and out of habit you placed a soft kiss on his jaw. “Then I’m just as pathetic. I’m in love with you too by the way. I’m sorry it took so long for me to admit it—I’m having a hard time accepting everything that just happened. The reason why I was always so clingy towards you when we were younger was because I admired you so much and I loved being around you. I wouldn’t stop asking my mom when the next time you were coming over was. I lied to you back in my junior year; I wasn’t failing trigonometry. I was actually at the top of my class. I just wanted an excuse to get you to tutor me in order to spend as much time with you as possible. I’ve always had a crush on you. Sure, you were the biggest pain in my ass back when I was in elementary school, but as we both got older, I loved having you around. You never failed to make me laugh at your terrible puns and you may not have meant to back then, but you always took such good care of me and made me feel wanted.” 

He smiled against your chest and began teasingly playing with both your breasts as a way to distract you. Mark knew the longer you went in to detail about your feelings for him, he’d probably do something embarrassing that he’d regret later on. 

“Can you say it again?” Although you knew what he was referring to, you wanted to continue teasing him. 

“Say what?”

“Babe—“ you stole one more kiss before playfully squeezing his cheek. 

“I love you Mark. More than I can fathom in to words. So um—what does this mean for us? Where do we stand?” He grazed his finger along your folds that were still extremely wet and throbbing from his previous movement while he was in between your legs. Sure, the confessions of love and feelings for one another were very sweet and heartfelt, but the fire building in between your legs was aching to be put out. 

The soft moan that fell from your lips only egged him on more and to your dismay, he brought your clit in between his index finger and his thumb and all but gently began to play with it causing the coil that was already building in your stomach to tighten. “Well, now that my feelings for you are out there, I’d like to finish your appointment, then take you to dinner later on tonight. I’d say I’d wait and take it from there, but I’m very confident in us, in our relationship so I’m not giving you the choice; you’re my girlfriend. Fuck, if I knew how amazing this would be, I would’ve made my move years ago. I’m gonna have to schedule you for a check up at least three times a month. Now—“

He started taking off his pants and his underwear came off soon after; your mouth began to water at the sight of his extremely red and hardened cock. It must’ve been so painful; you had a feeling he’s been hard since he was eating you out more than twenty minutes ago. You brought one hand down to his cock and ran your thumb around the tip. You’ve always considered penises to be extremely ugly, but something about Mark’s made your pussy throb. There was one time back when you were in your sophomore year when Mark was sleeping over at your house and you accidentally walked in on him naked. You were quick to cover up your eyes and run out of the bathroom before you could actually see something, but now you found yourself unable to take your eyes off of his fully erect cock. Not only was he thick, but he was also pretty long and you hated how every single thing about him was perfect. You were also excited to feel him stretch you out and bury himself deep inside of you.

“S—shit. Don’t fucking tease me baby. God y/n, you’re so fucking sexy. I’m never going to get enough of you. I can’t wait to fuck that pretty little cunt of yours. Now hurry up and jack me off you slut.” 

You giggled softly while wrapping your hand around his length and pumped him up and down. Hearing his soft grunts while you continued your motions caused you to go faster. A huge part of you wanted to suck him off; giving head was one of your favorite parts of sex and you wanted nothing more than for Mark to face fuck you. However, you were soon growing impatient at the idea of finally becoming one with him. You had all the time in the world now to choke on his dick; you wanted him to drill himself in to you. With the way he was thrusting himself in to your hand while leaving love bites on the juncture of your neck, you had a feeling he had the exact idea in mind. 

“Baby, as good as this feels, I need to fuck you—like right now. Get ready to be probed—ow! Come on y/n, you have to admit that was funny. Don’t you get the joke? Ultrasound—probing—okay I’ll stop. You were always so judge-mental of my jokes. Fine I’ll stop, but just know I have no intentions on going easy on you. I had a crush on you for quite some time, I’m going to make up for these last few years of being apart. I love you so much y/n and I plan on showing you right now exactly how much you mean to me.”

[ephemeralgalaxies]

Loki Ep4 Spoilers (again)

TL;DR Mobius is a jealous loner desperate for a connection to heal his own broken self, but for all the crap he gives Loki about not being able to trust others and putting up walls, he's just as terrified of being known and then left behind.

Would just like to take note once again on Mobius refusing to listen to Loki, for once not being able to tell apart (on the surface) what are lies and what's the truth because Loki has done the impossible-- learned to love himself (kinda). For once, this is a part of Loki's life that Mobius doesn't get to witness, and it breaks him. He can't spend weeks analyzing each little tell, it's all right there in the moment. It's a different Loki than he's ever known. Before, in ep1, Mobius knew exactly what to say to get answers out of Loki-- he's studied this. But now? Now Loki is a regular, real person (in a sense... TVA is kinda weird in their "is this technically a part of reality") that went through another traumatic event without Mobius watching alongside. He's scared and doesn't trust himself. He's jumping to conclusions, he's pushing down all his typical questions, coming off harsher, less patience.

And then when he realizes that Loki has learned to care for/love Sylvie (in whatever way that is, this Loki has never truly loved anyone before-- always holding back in fear), it throws out everything he's ever known about Loki out the window. He is changing, not just into someone the TVA can use, but rather into a person of his own. And Mobius doesn't know how to process that immediately, instead resorting to trying to embarrass Loki about his "crush" on Sylvie, lashing out on idea of them forming a romantic relationship because Loki couldn't even form a proper friendship with him (in his mind, especially after Loki leaves the Supermarket with Sylvie in ep2).

He's getting jealous, defensive, angry. The only other time we've seen him remotely this "not-calm" was earlier in ep2 when Hunter B-15 instructs Loki to come with her instead. (my god, he really is just so jealous) (to be fair, though, his closest friend is a lying back-stabber who gives the order to prune him, so... not like this version of Mobius is really in the healthiest environment to begin with...)

And the fact that he just won't let go with that, freaking "I don't need you anymore... or as you might say, 'our interests are no longer aligned.'" Like, I'm sorry but that is a sure petty jab at Loki for choosing Sylvie and this "variant life" over staying and helping him at the TVA (as he's still refusing to believe that they are all variants like Loki/Sylvie say). Especially adding "Yeah, I guess you don't do partners. Unless, of course, it benefits you and you intend to betray them at some point," and "Why? Cause I lied about your 'girlfriend'?"

LIKE SIR. IM TRYING TO MAKE THIS A SERIOUS POST AND IM CRYING WHILE WATCHING BUT I JUST KEEP LAUGHING AT HIS RESPONSES BECAUSE THEY'RE KILLING ME JUST HOW HURT HE IS BECAUSE LOKI FINALLY LEARNED TO LOVE SOMEONE AND HE WASN'T A PART OF IT. BECAUSE LOKI LEFT HIM IN ORDER TO BE "HAPPY", THIS WHOLE JOURNEY FOR MOBIUS-- PROBABLLY HIS BIGGEST CASE --JUST BURNT OUT, ENDING LIKE THAT. ALL HOPES OF "SAVING THE BROKEN THINGS", THAT "SCARED LITTLE BOY SHIVERING IN THE COLD" GONE BECAUSE HE NEVER REALLY NEEDED MOBIUS. BECAUSE LOKI (EVEN SYLVIE) COULD BE HAPPY ON THEIR OWN. THEY DIDN'T NEED TO BE THE VILLAIN, TO CAUSE PAIN AND DESTRUCTION AND DEATH. THEY COULD MAKE THEIR OWN LIVES.

And if they could do that... then how good is the TVA, truly?

So instead, he has to twist this, find some way to be repulsed by Loki's development-- "this kind of sick, twisted romantic relationship" because how dare Mobius, even for a second, think that maybe there is more to this relationship between Loki and Sylvie than an "incredible seismic narcissist" only ever being able to fall in love with himself? To look in the reflection and see beauty-- not in the dagger and what it's bond, it's craft, it's story means, but rather in the image mirrored back through that love. The person loving, not the existence of love itself. That's why it stabs you in the back, that's why the metaphor failed, because at the time, Loki didn't understand real love, romantic, familial, platonic, or self. He cared for his mother, but he failed her-- he lost her. He always pushed her away enough to keep himself safe, never truly feeling it all. But with Sylvie? it's different. Sylvie understands him. Sylvie, in some ways, is him. Of course he has to learn to love her, to appreciate all she has accomplished despite her struggles. He has to love her so that he can understand that he, too, deserves love. If Sylvie, with the same childhood and parents as him, with trauma and blood on her hands like him, that same desperate attempt to be alone in order to save themselves from being abandoned... if he knows she is worthy of love and happiness, then why can't he be as well? Why does he always have to be alone?

And then when Mobius tells him that Sylvie's been pruned, it destroys him-- he's alone again. Because he can never return to his timeline, never have that Ragnarok bond with his brother, be a true Odinson, avenge his mother. Sylvie is dead-- the one person that could possibly love him because she was him and he's a narcissist (in his own words). Mobius no longer believes him, can no longer see through the lies, too blinded by his own rage and fear and pain. Loki, once again, has no one (the fact that you can pinpoint the exact moment he realizes all this too, ep4 23:06, while Mobius continues to brush his warnings aside and rant on Loki and Sylvie).

"Well, I'm gonna have to close this case now, 'cause I don't need you anymore."

And so, he takes one last jab at Mobius--

"Out of all the liars in this place, and there are a great many, you are the biggest."

M: "Why? 'Cause I lied about your girlfriend?" Because I told you she was dead, because you were terrified, because you don't know how to go on without her?

L: "Oh, no. That I can respect." Ofc you would, that's your job, get information out of me. Manipulate me into thinking I can trust you because you don't trust me enough to let me tell you on my own. Because everything I do is out of my own interest. Of course you would lie about that, so would I. "I mean the lies you tell yourself."

You refuse to believe me now, to think that I could care for you as well, that I am capable of more than loving myself or a version of me. That maybe, for once, I'm not just trying to look out for myself. That maybe knowing that you're trapped here after believing you actually had free will, to learn that no one in this universe-- this sick, twisted timeline --actually has free will. Please believe me, please let me help. I didn't give up on Sylvie, I won't give up on you if you just give me time.

Anyways, this episode absolutely destroyed me

[closeyoureyes-andimagine]

Holding On (Vinny Mauro Imagine, Request) *TW*

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions and details of suicidal thoughts/suicide/self harm

Thank you @j0eyj0rdis0n for the topic request <3

This short story explores opening up to Vinny about suicidal thoughts and tendencies for the first time. You spent your time knowing him trying to be cool and picture perfect, but you can’t bottle it up any longer. You just hope he understands and doesn’t run. His reaction opens your eyes to just how great he is.

I haven’t been feeling well. Mentally, I mean. I’ve been unsteady and confused and scared and angry and sad and low and high and all over the place. My world feels like it’s spinning off of its axis every second of every day. 

I’m trying my best to keep it together because, tonight, I have plans. Tonight is the first Motionless in White show after the Coronavirus lockdown, and it’s going to be huge. It’s in my hometown, and I promised Vinny I’d be there. I’ve been meaning to talk to him about how I’ve been feeling; he’s my go-to guy. I’m just afraid of being so vulnerable.

Vinny and I met online through Instagram. We started talking here and there, very casually, and eventually we talked enough to decide to meet each other in person; the friendship spiraling from there. We got quite close over the past few years. He’s an amazing guy, and it’s no secret I have feelings for him. I know he has them for me, too, but it’s tough being in a band and touring - relationships aren’t always the best option.

I haven’t seen him in a few weeks, so this show tonight is important for both of us. We’re both looking forward to meeting up again, and I’m looking forward to finally hearing some live music. Maybe it’ll help clear my head.

After practically dragging myself out of bed to shower and get dressed, I arrive at the venue. There is a line of screaming, partially masked fans down the street that wraps around, but one of the perks of sort-of-kind-of dating the drummer is: I don’t wait in lines.

I show my ID, sign in, and walk to side stage. I start feeling anxious. In typical Vinny fashion, he’s right where I need him exactly when I need him, and he’s walking towards me, arms wide open.

“I am so happy you made it out! I missed you!” Vinny says, picking me up in a tight embrace. It feels warm.

“I’m so happy to be here. I really needed to escape my mind for a bit. I’m happy to see you,” I shyly smile.

We catch up for a few minutes before the opener performs. We talk about what we want to do after the show; where we want to go. I told him I would really like to talk to him tonight. I said it’s serious. He looked concerned, and I felt horrible. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him something like that right before he performs his first show in a year, but he grabbed my shoulders and reassured me that, whatever it is, he is here for me.

Towards the end of the openers performance, Vinny has to leave to get ready to go on himself. 

The lights go dark. The crowd goes insane. The energy in the room is unbelievable and just what I needed, but I still can’t shake the feeling inside.

Simply put: I don’t want to be here anymore. No, not the show. The world. I have this overwhelming feeling of dread every waking and sleeping second and I want the pain to stop, even just for a little while. I have no friends. No family left. Just Vinny. I think of him when I swallow one too many pills. I think of him when I drink WAY past my limit. I think of him when I put the razor to my wrist and carve myself like the trunk of a tree. I cannot bear the thought of leaving him, but even worse, I cannot bear the thought of staying here with myself.

After the show and the inevitable fan photos and autographs, Vinny and I are finally alone. We head to a local bar that has a very relaxed, isolated outdoor vibe. He doesn’t drink, but he thought this would be a nice place to relax after a night of screaming music.

We talked about everything as if we haven’t seen each other in years. It’s only been a few weeks, but even one hour away from him feels like an eternity. Probably because he’s all I got.

There was a lull in the conversation while he sipped his soda and scanned the room. I start to quiver and tears filled my eyes. He noticed.

“Y/N, what’s going on? What happened?”

“Vinny, I-” My voice trails off while the tears pour like acid rain onto my cheeks.

“Please talk to me. I’m here,” he whispered while grabbing my hand. He noticed healing scars below his grip.

“Y/N...”

“I can’t hide it anymore. I’ve tried. I’ve tried to be the fun, perfect, fan-turned-friend-turned-possible-lover for you and I can’t. I can’t be that. I’m destroyed, Vinny. The world has fucked me time and time again and I can no longer hold onto it. But I can’t leave you. But I don’t want to be here. But I can’t choose a way to go. But no one cares if I go or not.”

I go completely numb. Vinny goes completely silent.

“And now,” I continue, “I’ve ruined your first show back, and killed the mood and killed our friendship by telling you I want nothing more than to kill myself. I think about it all the time. It’s consuming my brain. I can’t escape it.”

Vinny looks like he is searching the room for the right words to say. 

“Y/N, I don’t even know what to say to you right now to make you understand that you have more purpose than anyone I’ve ever known.”

Those words, “you have purpose”, coming from Vinny spun in the air like a falling snowflake. He continued.

“I’ve never felt this way so I cannot speak from experience. All I know is: everyone has someone, and you have me. You always have, and you always will. And if I have to spend every second with you reminding you of that, then, I will, gladly and proudly. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are beautiful, smart, nurturing, and just a general joy to be around. You make everyone you meet a better person. Do you know that?” He grabs my hands tighter, his voice starting to shake.

“I’m trying,” I whisper.

“I know you are. And that’s the hardest part of the job. But, look. You’re doing it. You are choosing every single day to get up and try. Do you know how many people don’t take that step? It’s hard. But you can do hard things. You do them every day and you become stronger and smarter because of them. Please don’t throw it all away.”

He leans back, pensively. Like he’s trying to think of more to say to fill the silence. But then he realizes, maybe silence is just what I need.

My head has been filled with a thousand voices. Somehow, some way, Vinny just spoke to them all simultaneously and silenced them in one, quick swoop.

After about 5 minutes of complete quiet, I speak up.

“I don’t know why you treat me so well. I don’t feel deserving, but I appreciate your role in my life more than you know. Thank you for seeing me. Truly, seeing me.”

About another hour passes. We leave the bar and head to my apartment. We make some snacks, watch some movies, and pass out on my bed.

When I wake up in the morning, I feel a desire to just... Be. Be whatever I want that day: sad, happy, lazy, irrational, curious... Which is a new development. I have a new sense of, just allow yourself to be yourself and experience those feelings and move on from them that I didn’t have before speaking to Vinny.

I look over at him; he’s still asleep, peacefully. I think about how just opening up to someone can truly change your point of view. Keeping things bottled up only allows them to explode. But, if you choose to pour out the contents first, you can teach things to develop and grow. They won’t be able to haunt you or deteriorate you any longer. Water them, and watch them bloom.

“Hey, early bird,” Vinny says while rolling over, still wrapped like a burrito in my comforter. 

“Want to tackle the day together?”

[thetypedwriter]

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo Book Review

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo Book Review by Taylor Jenkins Reid 

It’s funny. Two book reviews ago I went on a lengthy diatribe about how giving people books is often annoying and unwelcome (or maybe that’s just me). Recommending and suggesting books I love and can do all the livelong day. 

I encourage people to tell me about their latest foray into fiction or that one novel they haven’t been able to stop thinking about for years, but when you actually physically give someone a book, well. 

There’s pressure involved. 

In that other book review post, A Man Called Ove, I outlined how one of three things would happen if someone gives you a book and you read it:

1. The book is good and you chastise yourself for being a moron and not knowing about it earlier. 

2. The rare occurrence of the book being a home-run and has a place proudly sitting on your favorites shelf forever. 

3. The book sucks, the whole journey was tedious and annoying, and the person who lent the book to you in the first place is disappointed or butt-hurt. 

In the last review it was the third option, and to be fair, it usually is. Oftentimes this isn’t even because the book is bad per se, but more so because the book isn’t for me and my interest in it to begin with was tenuous and shaky at best. 

Fortunately, in the case of The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo it was option 1 with a small leeway into option 2. I had never heard of The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo before or the author, Taylor Jenkins Reid, for that matter, and when my friend gave it to me I put it off on my shelf to collect dust for several months.

However, as my to-be-read list dwindled down to nothing and my newest shipment of books was not yet ready (I might have been waiting for all those Barnes and Noble gift cards I knew were lurking in unopened Christmas cards) I decided to give it a try, and oh boy, am I glad I did. 

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo is an adult fiction LGBT novel that focuses on two different timelines running parallel throughout the book. We start off with our main character in the present day of 2017, Monique Grant, a biracial journalist in her 30’s who currently works for a publication called Vivant in New York City but wants more. 

In the midst of an impending divorce, stagnating at work, and missing her long ago deceased father, the only thing Monique takes pride in is a piece she did about euthanasia and how there is mercy in killing before suffering a few years back. 

Her life takes an unexpected turn when Hollywood legacy, Evelyn Hugo, reaches out to her through her job and asks to meet with her. What she thinks is simply a meeting about Evelyn’s recent gown donation turns out to be a life-changing decision where she not only learns about the life and loves of Evelyn Hugo, but also about herself and the choices she made along the way by being tasked to write Evelyn’s biography. 

Monique’s POV is sprinkled throughout the story, thrusting us back into the present every so often, but most of the book is now an eighty-year-old Evelyn dictating her rise to fame from the 50’s all the way to the 80’s and beyond as she lays out the ugly, the beautiful, the sordid, and the desperate actions and choices she made to where she rests as an old woman before Monique, alone, filthy rich, and ominous about the end of her life from a first person perspective. 

To be very blunt, I didn’t care much for Monique. 

I liked the representation of her character, but she often came across as judgy, annoying, and rash. Several times throughout the novel, she has to apologize for speaking too quickly or for jumping to conclusions and for someone who is a journalist I found it to be an odd trait. 

Her growth as a character as a direct involvement with Evelyn was interesting, and I truly enjoyed the fact that at the end of the day, Monique remains a single woman who didn’t want to settle for something less than she deserved. 

That’s more than I can say for most YA protagonists who almost always end up with someone romantically because god forbid they remain alone. 

Evelyn, on the other hand, I immensely enjoyed. 

She’s snarky, manipulative, mean, catty, ruthless, and greedy. 

She’s also hardworking, confident, intelligent, and passionate. 

She came across as a real person to me, a real person with flaws and with qualities I admired. She was kind of a bitch, and I loved that about her. The other characters from Evelyn’s tale, mainly her seven husbands, her friends, and Celia St. James, were also well developed and nuanced characters. 

Nobody was good or bad. Everyone had aspects of both in them and it was so good to see portrayals of characters that resembled real flesh-and-blood human beings. 

As you would expect, there is a lot of scandal, romance, sex, and the glitter and glamour of Hollywood throughout these pages. What I didn’t expect were the themes of race, of sexuality, of gender roles, of death, and of forgiveness. 

Having a bisexual Cuban-American main character detailing her rise to fame in 1950’s America was incredibly interesting from a variety of standpoints. 

To me, though, the biggest theme was about love. 

As the book is called The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, there is of course, an explicit understanding that love will play a large role in the novel. What I didn’t expect was the complex way in which love was depicted. 

The author Reid wanted to convey that romantic love wasn’t the only love worth writing about, and how there are all kinds of wonderful and all-consuming loves that have nothing to do with romance or sex at all. 

Parental love, friendship, inspiration, romance, and familial bonds were all represented and not one was shown to be more valuable or more interesting than the other. All of Evelyn���s relationships had merit, and at the end of the day, everything Evelyn did, start to finish, was for someone she loved one way or another. 

In some ways, aren’t we all Evelyn Hugo?

Together with the myriad themes, the alternating timelines, the representation, and the juicy plot, the story was enjoyable from the first page to the last. The writing itself is very fluid and very easy. 

This is not a hard read by any means. The vocabulary was simple and the writing was simple, but it was very entertaining and at the end, even thought-provoking. 

It made me think. 

Was I making the right choices in my life? Or was I settling for easy? For forgettable? Was I holding myself to high standards and getting what I wanted? What I deserved?

Books that make me sit in silence after I finish reading them, tears in my eye because I’m so emotionally overwhelmed are few and far between. This is what I did after finishing reading The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. I simply sat on my couch, mind spinning, and tried not to cry. 

That, to me, is the mark of an excellent book. 

Recommendation: If you like strong and sassy female characters then this is definitely a novel worth checking out. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo is a whirlwind romance, but perhaps not in the way you would suspect. With fluid writing, engaging characters, a scintillating plot, and themes that will leave you gaping, what better way to start off the year 2021 than by giving yourself a truly fantastic read? 

Score: 9/10

[steve0discusses]

S4 Ep 39: Pharaoh Can Fly (Selectively)

Guys, they’re back

Best storyboarder is back, and the visual difference between last episode and this episode is like when your art teacher picks up your charcoal and just fixes everything wrong with your gesture drawings. It’s like...I mean look at this:

I just really love and appreciate how illustrative this storyboarder is. And I say just storyboarder because this had about the same budget as the last episode--there wasn’t that much actual animation as per usual. But, all of the scenes were drawn so well, like panels out of a good manga. They just...they always nail it when they’re at the helm and I don’t know why they’re on Yugioh, but bless this storyboarder.

Plot wise, everyone got pulled into the dragon by gooey tentacles that came out of it’s stomach, don’t think about it.

Meanwhile, all of the minibosses could communicate with them and beg for help, yes, even the same miniboss who may have dressed up like Pegasus and catfished Seto Kaiba.

(keep reading under the cut)

The whole process of getting absorbed into the Orichalcos demon was a whole lot of symbolism and it was...kinda gross. Also kinda sketch. Also, for Kaiba it is a neat little nod to S1 when he had a vision that his brother was absorbed into a dragon mass.

I don’t think that the makers of the show remember S1, but either they just really like goopy dragons, or it’s a coincidence or I dunno, on purpose? Probably a coincidence.

And like I made this joke and realized...what if they actually meant to make that parallel though? This is the America crossover season, and they have referenced America’s love of trickster rabbits before with Pegasus but do they know about Br’er rabbit in Japan? Do they know? It’s a pretty Americana Deep-cut, and I have no idea how common this folktale is outside of the states.

I see anime busting out absorbing goopy masses all the time so I’m gonna assume that there might be a Japanese folklore I don’t know about which uses a similar structure (although I’m also assuming it has an extremely different history and association ((which I won’t be going into because I don’t feel like putting a trigger warning on this recap)).)

And looking at Wikipedia, there’s people that think the original reference to moist, absorbing creatures could have even come from as far as India. Which is...fascinating to how it also developed in Africa, and then the Cherokee also made the same story independently and then it fused together here in the States to make it what was eventually made into a Disney movie that will never be released again--this is just a really old ass story, all in all, possibly like over a thousand years old.

And a FASCINATING google deep dive I won’t go into for obvious reasons but knock yourself out.

Also, lets get distracted for a sec and see how well this storyboarder drew a fitted jacket at that angle. Dear Lord, did they get reference for that or did their brain just already know that those folds would be there? You can even tell that Pharaoh has just a little bit of padding at his shoulders. Ugh. Guys this storyboarder is so freakin good at these little fitted jackets.

So, once Yugi and his friends are absorbed into the mass, where they should have died...and maybe some of them did, but I don’t know if I should add that to the Death Count because like...they could have held their breath in the amount of time they were stuck in there...maybe...Anyway, they are saved by being tossed into the figurative briar patch--by the souls all hanging out in the Leviathan’s stomach--which again makes me wonder...did they pull a folklore on us? Again, I have no idea.

Like a lot of the people in this dragon have been thorns in their side this entire season, they’ve all tried to kill them at one point--all the minibosses, Mai, Pegasus--but now they have decided to team up with Pharaoh (along with the rest of the human race) and offer whatever they can to free them from the grip of the gross dragon mass.

And like, the ending of the folk tale is that the thorny ass briar patch is also where the rabbit lives usually. It hurts everyone else, but the rabbit--the rabbit can deal with it. And likewise, Pharaoh is freakin dead. He’s at home here. He’s surrounded by spirit power, his friends and their friendship power, this is like his zone, and now he’s crazy powerful for it and will be for the rest of the episode.

And like Yami is a very trickster God (especially Season Zero Yami) so like...it does make sense that he would mirror a folk tale based on trickster Gods, even if it is by complete accident.

So Pharaoh imagines everyone’s tears as individual drops in a glass or something--it’s not a literal glass or anything--it’s just there because the only thing actually happening on screen was his hand hanging out of this dragon’s weird puss skin.

And he’s now a fully charged Sonic the Hedgehog and no longer needs Kaiba or Joey at all. Just gonna grab his God card demons and take charge of everything else from here on out.

By first exploding his buddies right the hell out of this lizard and across hundreds of feet of open ocean.

Joey decides to remind Kaiba that he lost the Battle City tournament.

Seto’s roast was actually in the show, PS. He is not super excited to be reminded that Yugi owns every card that he spent 2 seasons failing to get.

And then Pharaoh did something really, really...

...just really really wild.

OH OK.

YEAH JUST TAKE OFF.

GO AHEAD THERE’S NO REASON THIS WOULD BOTHER ME.

I mean he IS super powered right now but like...

Like...WTF?

4 SEASONS. 4 SEASONS I thought this guy was glued to Yugi like Peter Pan’s Shadow and apparently--he can bounce.

Can Pharaoh do this every time Yugi asks Tea out on a date and tries to instead make the ghost in his head do all the work now? Can Pharaoh just be like “NOPE” and then phase out of the house, leaving Yugi to actually do the hard stuff?

It really adds a level of complexity to their relationship if Yugi can get a room.

(If not a room for romance, but at the very least a room to poop in.)

OR has he been able to allow Yugi to wicked poop in peace this whole time, but the show just never felt like telling us because they felt like it wasn’t important (although it is crazy important)?

Either way I am just...floored at this character development.

Yami just let Yugi out of his sight for like...I want to say 8 full minutes. Just incredible amount of trust on Yami’s part. Incredible. Knowing Yugi’s track record, he should have died in those 8 minutes but...he was being babysat by both Kaiba and Joey.

So Yami summons the Gods and they shoot lasers--you kinda expect this sort of thing.

And this is...probably...the real reason why Dartz didn’t bother trying to attack Pharaoh 5,000 years ago.

I can still think it’s because of Bakura but like...this is probably the real reason. It felt pretty chump to just shoot a laser at the bastard. Pharaoh just had to be reminded that this is a thing he can just do. If he felt like it.

Which he never feels like doing, because he’s too busy watching Yugi’s every move, and getting distracted by High School shenanigans.

After this happens, the giant snake falls to the ocean, splitting into just sooooooo many ghosts.

Over 7.8 billion ghosts, if we’re to assume that this is most of the population on Earth.

(thinking the weird-o in the hat is probably a Duel Monsters card? The duel monsters were throwing themselves into the Leviathan at one point so this is probably like a dark magician boy or something...I just don’t get very attached to the monster cards so it was like...whatever. The cards die like constantly so who cares?)

It is a pretty set dressing. Like Christmas lights but...dead people.

We also find out that the lost family of our minibosses Alister and Raphael, have indeed spent the last many years inside the Leviathan stomach, which is pretty tragic. We get a bitter sweet conclusion to Alister and Raphael’s story--although it’s not a full on ending for either character. Their life still hella sucks, they are in therapy for basically forever.

Where is Gurimo?

I don’t know what sort of job or life these two are qualified to have now, but youknow...Marik’s boat probably has jobs available.

Hold up. Can we talk about the windows?

I know absolutely none of you care about this, but I do, not to be picky or condescending to an overworked art team, but because I just want to know what they were trying to aim for.

There’s an iron stained glass style windowpane thing going on and that’s what’s really getting me. Like...I know these guys were technologically advanced, but why did you use this WW2 background? What happened to Ancient Greece that you were doing before?

Like doing a super past with future tech is so cool to me--I love that sort of concept art. That’s going into like Black Panther stuff where you’re referencing the earliest stuff in Africa and then blending it with stuff beyond our science. But Atlantis is a real big shrug and a “listen we ran out of time and had to press print,” and it’s such a shame. It feels less cohesive than even when this show does Egypt.

And yo this show and how it draws ancient Egypt--I feel like I’ve already talked about that. I have a feeling I’m going to talk a lot more about it next season. I’ll get to it when we get to it. I’m hoping that they have more time and budget to actually DO Egypt for once. (I say knowing they won’t)

Like it’s one of those things where this isn’t a history show, like at all, and it’s very much a fantasy. I’m not going to be like those sewing people on youtube that get annoyed because their TV show doesn’t have handsewn stitching in their Victorian bodices they rented from the costume department from an LA discount warehouse. Because, yo, it’s TV, and I can stretch my own imagination because it’s acting. (although I confess, I watch every single one of those videos).

But...the potential, y’all...the potential.

Anyway, Dartz isn’t dead. He was just taking his toot sweet time getting down the steps of his Gazebo.

This is where things get very anime. I get this problem a lot with anime, I really do--and maybe it’s just me. But like...sometimes it feels like anime changes the rules during the boss fight.

That happens a lot, right? Where suddenly the final boss reveals something that like...should have been addressed way earlier? And he’s alive but you don’t get why?

Anyway, Pharaoh reacts by getting maybe way too attached to his newfound independence.

Which like...I can understand Tea forgetting that Yugi is one people that is two people all the time, but the writers as well?

And what’s kind of great about this scene is that Dartz does see Yugi as two people here. He doesn’t look at Yugi, he looks at both. When Pharaoh is like “Leave me, Yugi!” Dartz heard all of that.

Just kind of a neat thing that we finally have a dude that can just...see Pharaoh for what he is, but it probably won’t matter because there’s like only one more episode left of this season.

Anyway, Pharaoh and Dartz have a chat about where evil comes from...and like...it’s some Yugioh lore, all right.

So before the show decides to give us the Genesis on Yugioh and reveal where the evil of the Orichalcos comes from, or if all evil was created by Orichalcos itself (which is IMPLYING stuff about Orichalcos) the snake shuts him the hell up.

As it should. Leave that Pandora’s box freakin closed. That’s going into extended universe of Star Wars books territory (RIP.)

As an aside--pretty sure that Yugi is standing outside that tornado. Maybe it was just the editing of the episode but like...

Yo I’m pretty sure Yugi is just standing there. For the first time, it’s not his nuts getting roasted. Wow. Tables have turned so much since he was dead.

Anyway, here’s the link for new people so you can read these in order

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

There’s only one left! We can do it! We can finish this season in 2020! And actually get back to recapping Full Metal Alchemist! ~~Woooo~~

Oh man that movie better still be on Netflix or I’ll have to buy it lolol.

[hookedonapirate]

Beyond a Reasonable Doubt

Summary: Detective Killian Jones took an indefinite leave of absence from SBPD after his brother was murdered in the Line of Duty. Bitter and broken, he resides in a cottage on the beach when his brother's former partner, David Nolan brings him a case he knows the vengeful detective won’t be able to resist. A case involving Liam's killer.  

Dr. Emma Swan makes all of her decisions like she operates on her patients—with care, competence and compassion. But when her colleague, Graham Humbert, is murdered in cold blood by the man who was freed because of a decision she made as a juror, she starts second-guessing herself. To make matters worse, her squeaky clean reputation is being questioned when she becomes a suspect for Graham’s murder.

There is one detective who believes she’s innocent, and he has a plan to protect Emma and find his brother's killer at the same time. When Killian finds himself caught between his duties to the SBPD and his need for vengeance, matters are only complicated by the feelings he develops for the woman he's supposed to protect.

He's impulsive and hot-tempered, and she's methodical and cool under pressure. Despite their differences, can they work together to bring the murderer to justice, or will the murderer get to them first?

A/N: I decided to post this earlier than I had planned. Thanks for all of your responses so far! Some trigger warnings I forgot to add but don't happen until this and future chapters anyway are inappropriate and unwanted infatuation. There will probably be more tw's as we move along.

Many thanks go to @ultraluckycatnd​ for her wonderful beta-ing skills and @onceuponaprincessworld​ as always for her encouragement and letting me bounce ideas off of her.

Rated: Explicit due to mature language, character death, violence, murder and smut. The scenes won’t be too graphic, but I’d rather overrate than underrate it. 

Catch up: Prologue

Chapter 1

“Hey.”

  The sound of Graham’s voice pulls Emma from her thoughts as she stares blankly into the full margarita glass in her hand. “Hey.”

  “There aren’t any hard feelings, right?”

  She can hear the concern in his thick, Irish accent as he claims the stool next to her and sets his beer tumbler on the bar top.

  Swiveling her head to look at him, she knits her brows in confusion. “Why would there be?”

  He shrugs. “Because I know how much you wanted the promotion.”

  Right. That. 

  Emma’s been so consumed by the trial she actually forgot why she was here at the bar—to celebrate Graham’s promotion. The hospital board of directors appointed Graham to Chief of Surgery a week ago, and though the news was a major blow to her at first, she’s thrilled for him; she really is. Yes, she’d wanted the position, and ever since the predecessor announced his retirement, she and Graham had been the leading contenders. She’s proven time and time again she’s more than capable of overtaking the extra responsibilities the job entails, but Graham deserves the title as well. 

  “You're qualified and capable and you deserved it,” Graham says empathetically with an expression meant to convey his reluctance to say what he wants to say. Averting his eyes from hers, he cradles the back of his neck with his palm, his cheeks reddening as he adds, “Probably more qualified than I am.”

  Emma tilts her head from side to side and offers a slight smirk. “Not probably. I am,” she teases playfully, making him chuckle. His left hand rests on the bar top between them as she places her hand over his, her smirk transforming into a sincere smile. “I’m happy for you, Graham, I really am. I’m sorry if I seem…” she pauses, debating which adjective best describes her recent behavior before settling on, “distant.” Distant isn’t really the adequate term, but it’s the best word to convey her mood without putting a damper on his.

  Graham swivels toward her on his stool to cover her hand with his other one. “That trial really rattled you, didn’t it?”

  Emma drags her hand away to bring the margarita glass to her lips, and mumbles, “In more ways than one,” before taking a sip. Not only does she constantly question her decision, but the visions of the defendant’s eyes watching her keep flittering through her mind. He'd made her feel very uncomfortable in the courtroom. Every time she'd look his way, he was staring. And she knew he wasn’t merely staring aimlessly into space or at someone next to her. No, he was staring directly at her. She kept trying to discourage his attention by scowling at him or looking away, but her attempts only seemed to encourage him. Every time she saw that creepy grin on his face, the hair on the back of her neck stood on end; it was like slimy worms were crawling up her skin. She felt like she were in an episode of Fear Factor.

  “Don’t beat yourself up, Em. He could actually be innocent,” Graham says with a spirited grin as he playfully nudges her elbow with his. “And if he is, you saved an innocent man’s life.”

  Emma smiles faintly at him, appreciating his optimism. “I didn't. The jury saved him.”

  “Oh, come on, where’s that confident surgeon I know? I would’ve thought you’d return from the trial gloating about being picked as a forewoman when I said you wouldn’t even be chosen as a juror.”

  Emma laughs. “You have a valid point, I should be brandishing my bragging rights at your celebration party instead of sulking at the bar all by my lonesome.” She takes another sip of her drink.

  When she moaned and groaned to Graham in the doctors’ lounge about receiving the jury summons, he was quick to point out she wouldn’t be chosen because she’s too opinionated, too analytical and too bossy. Emma just smirked and took his remarks as compliments. “Guess you were wrong.”

  He shrugs indifferently. “Oh well, you win some, you lose some. I can’t expect to win all our battles.”

  Emma nods in agreement. “What would be the fun in winning all the time?”

  Graham winks at her. “Exactly.”

  He chugs the rest of his beer down before asking Emma to play darts with him. She groans, but when he takes her hand in his and pulls her from the barstool, she doesn’t argue. 

  After she beats him at darts, she chats with other colleagues and switches to water after one margarita, since she has to drive home. Robin Locklsey is the owner of the bar, but his wife, Regina, is one of the doctors celebrating with them tonight, so he joins them at the table to socialize and later, plays a couple rounds of pool with Graham and Regina. 

  Emma is the first among her colleagues to announce she’s ready to leave because she has to work an early shift in the morning. After saying good night to everyone, she is escorted to her car by Graham.

  “Thanks for coming tonight,” he says sincerely as they turn to face each other in front of her car.

  “Thanks for inviting me.” Emma gnaws on her bottom lip, wondering if he really knows how happy she is for him, and not bitter in any way. Of course, she’d take the promotion in a heartbeat, but she’s glad it went to him and not someone else. “Congratulations, Graham. I‘m really proud of you,” Emma says with a genuine smile. Then she opens her arms, and he follows suit, pulling her into a hug. “If someone other than me had to get the promotion, I’m glad it was you,” she murmurs into his ear, resting her chin on his shoulder.

  “Thank you,” he whispers, holding her tight.

  The hug is longer than she expects, and as soon as she realizes other colleagues could filter out at any second and think something else is happening between the two doctors who are famously known around the hospital as rival surgeons, Emma pulls away. “Have a good night, Graham.” She’s about to turn around and walk away, but he does something else she doesn’t expect. 

  He leans in and kisses her cheek. “Goodnight, Emma.”

  She offers a faint smile. “Goodbye, Graham.”

  She walks away from him, not sure what to think or how else to respond to what just happened. They’ve known each other since they were both residents and never once has he kissed her on the cheek, which is actually kind of strange if she thinks about it. They’ve always been too busy poking fun at one another to engage in long hugs and kisses on the cheek. 

 Once Emma’s inside her car, she places her hand on her cheek as she watches him head back into the bar. The kiss meant nothing. It was just a cheek kiss. They’re friends. They should be able to exchange cheek kisses without it meaning anything. 

  Yes, it was just a friendly kiss, Emma surmises as she pulls her hand away from her cheek to start her trusty bug. When the engine roars to life, she pulls away from the curb, breathing unsteadily as she drives home. She knows it was only a friendly kiss, but did he? Could he have feelings for her that went beyond the friendly relationship they had established? 

  If so, she has to put a stop to it now. She can't get romantically involved with a colleague. She doesn't get romantically involved with anyone, and certainly not with anyone she works with. What they have now is good and she doesn't want that to change.

  The entire way home, she wonders if the kiss had meant something more than friendship. It's 10:17 pm when she pulls into her garage and decides to ask him about the kiss tomorrow and tell him they can't be anything more than friends.

  ~*~

  Four hours later…

  The smoke rings float through the pleasantly cool, Texas air before slowly evaporating into the blackness. The soothing sound of a trumpet from his favorite Frank Sinatra song plays through the audio speakers as he stares at the photo in the Storybrooke Telegram. It’s a glowing article about Storybrooke General’s new Chief of Surgery and confirmation of what his sweet Tamara told him yesterday. It’s not that he didn’t believe her, but he needed proof so he would know without a shadow of a doubt his efforts will not be wasted. It’s not every day he takes a life for his own personal agenda. And truth be told, he doesn’t trust anyone. Not even the pretty nurse who’s been his second pair of eyes and ears since he met her at the strip club six months ago. Two out of the three days a week Tamara’s not working at the hospital, she’s pole dancing to pay off her college debts.

  Tossing the paper aside, he brings the cigar between his lips and gently inhales, savoring the warm cherry-flavored smoke before exhaling slowly, blowing the smoke toward the direction where Storybrooke General stands tall. The excitement dancing inside his belly is almost unbearable. 

  Not guilty.

  Since the moment those two delightful words rang through the courtroom, he’d been contemplating ways to thank the beautiful blonde juror who so passionately argued for his acquittal. 

  And he’s thought of the perfect way to show his gratitude.

  His lips expand into a menacing grin. He grows hard just thinking about her and how flushed she got when he stared at her lustfully in the courtroom. Such an exquisite creature she is. She wore those soft, silk blouses and tight black skirts which showed off her long, sexy legs and made her ass look so nice, you could melt ice cubes on it. She looked good enough to eat. 

  He groans and palms his erection, but the ringing of his phone interrupts his pleasant thoughts. If only he had enough time to finish himself off while fantasizing about her. But not tonight. 

  With a frustrated grunt, he removes his hand from his crotch and pauses the music with the remote control before accepting the call from the unknown number. He says nothing into the phone, only waits for the caller to speak.

  “He’s pulling out of his driveway now.”

  He ends the call and slips the phone into his pocket, doing his best to contain his excitement. He reaches over and extinguishes the butt of his cigar with the photo of the chief surgeon’s face, taking immense pleasure in watching the cigar blacken and burn a hole into the thin paper. 

  Rising from his chair, he leers lasciviously over the city from the vantage point of his penthouse balcony. 

  He carries the Storybrooke Telegram inside and tosses it into the fireplace, watching it disintegrate into ash before he leaves his condo with a knife hidden in his ankle holster. He descends several floors in the elevator and leaves the building, sashaying down the sidewalk as he lifts his hood over his head before shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. Walking to Storybrooke General takes all of ten minutes, giving him plenty of time to arrive before the Chief Surgeon pulls into the doctor’s parking lot, according to how long it took him to drive from the man’s house to the hospital yesterday morning after he’d followed the doctor home.

  Dressed in all black, he’s able to slink around in the night like a black panther. Unlike his father, he always leaves a crime scene like a ghost—invisible and untraceable. He’d burned off his fingerprints long ago and always leaves the weapon at the scene of the crime. It’s too bad his father wasn’t as smart. He may have been cunning and evil, his heart black as night, but there is a reason he’s rotting in prison while his son enjoys a life of luxury as a contract killer, and yet has never been convicted of a crime. No, he’s nothing like his father. He doesn’t have an evil bone in his body. He doesn’t kill people with malice intent; he performs a service—a job—and he does so with a straight face, his eyes devoid of emotion. He’s had nothing against anyone he’s ever murdered.

  Well, until tonight.

  Tonight, he will be the one wielding the power, tonight he will be the one deciding someone’s fate.

  Because tonight he’s doing it for her.

  Dr. Emma Swan.

Tagging some people who have shown interest so far. If you would like to be tagged or untagged, please let me know.

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[joaquinfeed]

Wouldn't It Be Nice? (Arthur Fleck x Reader)

Prompt: Snapshots from your developing relationship with your neighbor Arthur—friends to lovers. + A little bit of Sophie friendship

Hello! I haven't posted a fanfic in a HOT minute. I know I can take my time, and you all are so sweet. But I did write this up. Thanks for being patient! It’s not my favorite, but it will do. :) Hope you all are staying safe and well.

Word Count: 4,300

Warnings: An extra amount of fluff?  Um, cursing. A small fight?

You spend more time at Arthur's than ever before. You even mention to Sophie, the girl down the hall, that he is your best friend in a passing conversation you have with her. She just shoots you a weird look and mutters something like, "I didn't think Arthur had any friends."

But now, as you enter Arthur's apartment, you question what type of person wouldn't want to befriend him. The man was sitting on the couch, a cigarette in one hand and a blue lego in the other. Your eyes travel to the coffee table where scattered legos lie around the surface, waiting to be pieced together.

His eyes narrow in concentration as he carefully sticks the blue lego onto his developing house. Your gaze follows his other hand as he lifts the cigarette up to his lips to take a puff. A satisfied smile tugs at the sides of his mouth as he takes in his plastic creation.

Yeah, you really didn't understand how someone could pass up the chance to be his friend.

__

When Arthur finally notices you standing in the doorway, he doesn't hesitate to invite you in by patting the seat next to him.

You recount the events of your day, and Arthur watches you, hanging on to every detail that escapes your lips. You, in turn, do the same for him. You don't mind, though; hearing about Carnival's adventures at the children's hospital could easily be the best part of your day.

"This little boy, Nicholas, said that I was his favorite clown that has visited him," Arthur smiles triumphantly at you, and you have to force yourself not to hug him right there.

"I'm not even surprised," you tell him, genuinely. "Although, I am rather shocked I haven't gotten a VIP performance from Carnival. I mean, we've been friends for a while now."

His eyes dart around nervously before they land on yours. "You think we're friends?"

You pause. "Do you not?"

He shrugs, and you chalk it up to his lack of experience. "I'd like to be."

"Okay, then."

Shy smiles get passed between the two of you before you settle back into the couch. The night moves on like any other, and you eventually end up pressed against him while watching the Murray Franklin Show.

__

When winter nears, and snow starts falling from the skies of Gotham, you make it a priority to buy Arthur some gear for the season. You don't buy him anything too extravagant—only some gloves and a new coat. You notice he lacks in those departments; his jacket was becoming mangled, and his gloves were nonexistent. So, at every chance you get, you save up a few extra bucks and put them in your Arthur fund.

When you present the gifts to him, his reaction was not what you were expecting.

"I am not a child," he tells you with a little venom in his words. "I don't need you to buy me things. You need to save your money for yourself."

"I just wanted to do something nice for you," you reply, shrugging half-heartedly. "I wasn't trying to make you feel like a child, Arthur. It was only supposed to be a friend helping out another friend. I want you to be safe and warm out there."

He gives you a look, almost like he's trying to judge your real intentions. You stay silent, waiting for him to take the lead. He finally gives a small nod, and the right side of his mouth twitches up.

"Thank you," he says, picking up the coat and looking it over. "I don't want you to feel like you need to buy me anything, though."

"Don't worry so much. I wanted to. I promise."

The next time you see Arthur, he's holding the door open for you to slip into the elevator. You glance at his slender frame and see he's sporting the coat and gloves. You smile to yourself, and shoot him a small wave after the doors spring open, heading out to finish your daily errands.

__

"What's going on with you and Arthur?"

You look up from your spot by the mailboxes to see Sophie's eyes peering at you with curiosity.

"What do you mean?"

She shrugs in response, reaching to open her mailbox that's next to yours.

"I don't mean anything by it. I'm just wondering. You two seem," she pauses, "close."

It's your turn to shrug. You wanted to tell Sophie just how close you truly felt to Arthur, but you didn't know the woman well enough to do that. You two have started to talk more, and you would even consider her to be a friend—or at least, on the verge of becoming one.

You shift the mail around in your hands, looking to see if there is anything important. You keep your eyes trained on the bill in front of you, your finger gently grazing over the name of your electric company.

"I told you he was my best friend," you offer. "He's really sweet, Sophie. He's not like anybody else I've been friends with. He listens to me, you know? He actually likes hearing the same old boring stuff I do every single day. Even when I tell him there's nothing new that's happened, he insists that I still talk about my day."

"Really? Arthur?"

Your lips fix into a tight line, and almost as if she can sense your displeasure, Sophie quickly throws her hands up in innocence.

"I didn't mean anything by that, Y/N," she says. "I clearly just don't know him well enough. I'm sure he can be charming."

"I'm telling you, Soph. The man is an angel."

She laughs like you just told a joke, and you laugh along with her even though you're reasonably sure it was the truth.

"Maybe it's just you that brings it out in him," she wiggles her eyebrows slightly, chuckling to herself before moving to the elevator. "See ya tomorrow, Y/N."

__

Your head was spinning. You just got done visiting Arthur at HaHa's, and the visit didn't go quite as planned. Randall, a coworker of Arthur's, wouldn't stop making crude passes at you. You watched the scene unfold—Arthur stepped up and asked Randall to stop, shouting and laughter could be heard from every clown as Randall made one one last comment about your looks. You don't know who threw the first punch, but Arthur sure threw the last one.

Your concern for your neighbor overran your pride. It wasn't like him at all to be risking his job like that for a few comments. You have comforted him enough after a long day of Randall's bullshit to know that Arthur took every bit of it just to keep his career.

As you wait outside of HaHa's for Arthur, who's cleaning himself up in the bathroom, you see the door swing open and out walks Hoyt.

"Hey," he stops when he sees you. "I know a lot of those guys in there don't really like Arthur, but I do. He just can't be getting into fights in the middle of the fuckin' workday."

"But Randall said," you start, but Hoyt shakes his head.

"I don't care what that fat son of a bitch said. You need to tell ya' boyfriend that he has one more chance to do what he's supposed to."

You inhale through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth, trying to keep your anger at bay. You despise every single person that Arthur had the displeasure of knowing, but you were going to keep that to yourself—for Arthur's sake.

"I'll make sure to let him know," you say. "He's not my boyfriend, though." You add, weakly.

"Well, that's not what he told us."

Your eyebrows furrow together. "He told you that he was my boyfriend?"

"Yeah, that's been the word around funny town."

Hoyt dismisses himself after you keep silent, but you barely notice him walking away. Arthur has been telling people that you're dating? Did he think that you were? You ransacked your brain to try and recall a time where Arthur may have picked up that impression; you didn't find one.

It's entirely possible Hoyt’s just talking out of his ass; from the couple times you've met the man, he tended to be loose and careless with his words. The only way to know for sure is to talk to Arthur himself. And so, you keep waiting.

When Arthur finally pushes open the door, you wave him over.

"Let's go out and get some food," you say as soon as he's next to you. "My treat."

He nods, a little surprised, but falls in step with you as you walk to a small café nearby called "Gotham's Goodies." You keep your eyes ahead, trying not to stare too long at the ever-present black eye that was starting to form from Randall's hands.

Once your destination is in sight, Arthur quickens his pace a step in order to hold the door open for you. You murmur a "thanks" while offering him a small smile.

The aroma of the little café was a mixture of hot cocoa and assorted cookies that are lining the counter. You move to the glass case next to the cash register and run your eyes over the desserts staring back at you.

You feel Arthur come up behind you before his words filter into your ears. "What do you want?"

"Maybe that one," you give a noncommittal point towards one of the desserts sitting on the top shelf. If you were honest, your mind really wasn't on any type of pastry; it was still on Arthur and the prospect of him being your boyfriend. It's not that you are against the idea of dating your neighbor; you simply want to know why Arthur thinks that you are.

You tell him to pick something out for you, and he falters for a second. He looks at you like he can tell something's on your mind but does as you say. You fish a few bills out of your pocket to hand to him, but before you can, he's already giving the cashier some cash.

It's not hard to find a table, seeing that the café was nearly empty apart from an older couple sitting near the entrance. You follow Arthur to a small table furthest from the front and sit down with him. With your seat in front of his, you are finally able to see the bruise forming around his eye.

Your heart clenches in concern. "Does it hurt?"

He doesn't ask what you mean. Instead, he shakes his head. "It's not my first time."

"Ah, so you get in a lot of fights for other people, huh? Is that your way of reeling them in?"

Arthur smirks. "Did it work?"

Despite yourself, you smile at him. You still manage to shake your head while attempting to look stern. "No, absolutely not. You could have been really hurt, Arthur."

"But he said so many mean things to you," he reasoned. "It just—it made me so angry."

You scoot your stool over until it's right next to Arthur's. "I appreciate that, but I don't want you to lose your job. Hoyt said—"

"Who cares what Hoyt says."

"Listen to me. Hoyt said you have one last chance, okay? Please don't waste it on me."

Arthur's eyes widen, and he lets out a huff. "Waste? Y/N, you're never a waste."

"Just promise me, Arthur."

He looks like he wants to keep arguing, but he reluctantly nods. "I promise."

"There's also something else that Hoyt told me," you say, picking at a loose string on your pants. "I just want to let you know that I'm not mad or anything, I just want to know.."

You trail off, not really knowing what to say. He waits patiently for you to continue, and when you actually mask up the courage, it's all spilling out at once.

"Hoyt called you my boyfriend," you blurt out. "And when I corrected him, he said he was just telling me what you told everyone. That means you told everyone that you were my boyfriend? Why did you tell people that you were my boyfriend?"

Arthur suddenly looks more uncomfortable than you have ever seen him before. The café seems deadly quiet as you wait for him to speak. Soft chatter can be heard from the few other patrons, but your heart is beating so fast in your chest, you could hardly concentrate on anything else.

"I wanted everybody to lay off," he answers. "I thought they wouldn't be so mean if they knew I had somebody."

"Oh, well, you could have told- wait," you pause. "Does that mean that Randall was still talking to me like that even though he knew you were my "boyfriend?""

Arthur nods. "That's why I was so angry. He knew, and he still did it."

"Asshole," you spit out, and Arthur hums in agreement.

"I'm sorry I embarrassed you," he says. "I'll tell them the truth."

"Hey," you frown, resting a hand on top of his bouncing knee. "You didn't embarrass me at all. I was simply curious. I'm your friend because I want to be Arthur, and I would be lucky to call someone like you, my boyfriend."

"Really?"

"Really."

__

Nothing changes after your conversation with Arthur—not really. Nothing that would potentially rock the ship that you both have built for yourselves over the months. Except, a few small things have shifted in your relationship.

When Arthur's slumped into his couch to watch an old movie or a new episode of Murray Franklin, your sides are pushed together even closer than before, not leaving an inch of space between you. When you're helping him make dinner or clean the kitchen after a meal, he'll casually let his fingers ghost over yours as you both reach for an item on the counter.

Your hands swing dangerously close together as you walk through the streets of Gotham. You shiver, and he mutters something sarcastic about you "not having a good enough coat, but thank God, you bought one for him." Before you know it, his coat is wrapped around you for the remainder of your walk; this happens nearly every time.

The prospect of Arthur being your boyfriend was never brought up again. You know you could tell him right now as you walk down the snowy sidewalk together towards your Gotham apartments, that he needs to stop bumping his side against yours. He needs to stop brushing his hand against your shoulder or placing hesitant kisses on your forehead after a long day. He's not your boyfriend, and you could tell him that. But you don't. Instead, you lean into him as another gust of bitter wind hits you like a slap in the face.

"I told you to bring a real coat," he grumbles, even though you know he's not really angry. "You're going to get sick one of these days."

"You keep me warm," you say playfully as you reach for his tan winter hat and yank it off his head, only to pull it over yours. You smile innocently at him.

Arthur tries to narrow his eyes in a glare, but you can see a smile peeking through. He sighs. "Somehow, I don't think I'm going to get that back."

__

Before you can blink, Christmas is already arriving. You insist that Arthur doesn't have to get you a gift; you know money is tight. In turn, he tells you he expects nothing from you too.

"The coat and the gloves were enough," he says.

You didn't listen to him, but to be fair, he didn't listen to you either. When you get to Arthur's apartment, the door swings open, and you see his smiling face. The corners of his mouth start to fall as he sees the small wrapped gift in your hand.

"Oh, stop frowning," you roll your eyes at him, before leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, Artie."

He looks down at the blue, rectangle-shaped package that is covered in snowmen. His eyes drift up to yours, and he shakes his head in amusement. "You never listen."

"You should know that by now."

As soon as you move from the doorway and into the house, Arthur makes a show of rushing to the kitchen and pulling out a plate of cookies he baked for you. You chuckle to yourself as he dashes around the apartment to get everything ready.

You migrate to the couch and watch as he drops a paper sack in front of you on the table.

You narrow your eyes suspiciously. "Is this a Christmas gift?"

"You aren't the only one who doesn't listen."

"Arthur!"

"Just open it," he smiles shyly, as he shifts from foot to foot. You tear open the paper sack and inside is a notebook. It looks similar to Arthur's joke diary, but a little less worn down. "It's nothing special, but I figured you- you might like it."

You flip open the first page to see a polaroid picture of you and Arthur taped to the top, followed by a list titled: "My favrite things about Y/N." As you turn the pages, more lists, notes, and little doodles fill the blank papers. Everything from "how Y/N and I met" to "Y/N and I are friends becus…"

You are almost as shocked by Arthur's gift as he is with yours. He tears open the snowmen wrapping paper to find a photo album you put together with your collection of "friendship" photographs. You took every polaroid shot that you have been saving and stuck them into the album for your neighbor. Well, almost all of them. There are a few pictures of Arthur that you saved just for yourself.

You don't waste any time in showing your appreciation to Arthur. You wrap your arms around his delicate frame and soon feel his arms do the same.

"Thank you for the present," you whisper, just loud enough for him to hear. "It was probably the most meaningful gift I've ever gotten."

"Mine was too," he whispers back, arms tightening around you. "Thank you."

"It's no big deal."

"Not for the gift," he pulls back. "For being here."

You smile softly at him. "Thank you for inviting me."

You see Arthur's lips twitch up, and before you can ask him why, he's talking—voice still quite in the otherwise silent room. "Why does Santa hate being stuck in the chimney?"

Your eyes twinkle with amusement. "Why?"

"Because he's clause-trophobic."

"Oh, Arthur," you shake your head, chuckling. "That was just a sad joke. You better tell me another one for good measure."

"How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?"

"How much?"

"Nothing. It was on the house."

Arthur broke out into a smile, and you couldn't help but laugh. You're not sure what exactly happened next, but somehow you were leaning in, and your lips met Arthur's. It surely was not a rom-com ready kiss—your mouth was merely pressed against his. But you could feel the raw emotion radiating from his touch as his fingers slid up to cup your cheek.

Your heart pounds in your chest; you could taste the remnants of oven-baked cookies and cigarettes still on his lips. It only makes heat wash over you like a wave. When you break apart, Arthur's cheeks are flushed red, and he looks as if he's weighing his options to kiss you again or dart out of the room.

Instead of saying anything about it, you try to ease Arthur's apparent anxiety by offering his hand a small squeeze. "Merry Christmas, Arthur."

A few days later, you walk into Arthur's apartment to see the photo album open on the table, and a few more pictures of you lying beside it. You feel a pleasing warmth settle in your chest; Arthur liked the gift.

__

New Year comes and goes faster than Christmas did. You spent the holiday over at Sophie's after Arthur was requested to work a New Years party through HaHa's. Although you are not best friends, it was good to spend time with another person in Gotham. Plus, you finally had someone to vent to about your other neighbor.

"And then we kissed," you say, watching Sophie's face to gauge a reaction. 

A sly smile creeps up onto her face and she nods. "I knew something was going on."

"But nothing is! That's the thing," you sigh. "He hasn't kissed me again or even talked to me about it. I don't know if it was bad, or if he's just shy. I don't want to ask him."

"I'm sure he's just nervous," she shrugs. "He hasn't had many other experiences like this, right? He probably just doesn't want to mess things up."

"I guess so," you trail off, thinking.

Sophie smirks. "Do you like him?"

"Shut up, Sophie," you roll your eyes. "What are we, twelve?"

"Come on," she laughs. "Does Mr. clown man get you going? Do you some sort of kink?"

"I'm so not answering this," you cover your face with your hand, and Sophie continues to laugh. You uncover your face, and meet her gaze. "I'm never telling you anything again."

You make it through the rest of the night—or year—with only a couple more Arthur related jokes. Sophie may have been amused, but your heart only fluttered every time she uttered his name.

You've got it bad.

__

The days and weeks continue to pass, and neither you or Arthur bring up the kiss. It's no secret—at least to Sophie—that you have feelings for him. You are willing to never bring it up if your friendship stays the same. But that's the thing. Your friendship with Arthur has not been the same. In fact, gentle touches, loving glances, and warm snuggles have morphed into lingering silence and nervous laughter—or laughter from Arthur that was not always welcomed.

Winter starts to inch away, and traces of Spring begin appearing outside— birds chirping, slightly warmer weather, and snow melting into puddles on the ground. On the first sunny day of the season, you and Arthur walk down the streets of Gotham, ignoring every rude city-dweller that passes by you.

The silence that has been dragging on between you is unusually thick in the air. Your hand swings slightly as you walk, brushing against Arthur's occasionally. When you near the end of the city limits, and the residents of Gotham start becoming scarce, you turn to him.

"I think we should talk."

He stays quiet for a beat. "About what?"

"I think you know," you slow your pace, spotting a bench sitting outside the front of a little mom-and-pop restaurant. You grab Arthur's arm and cross the street, leading him to the bench to sit down.

"Things have been kind of weird," you say after you're both settled. He nods silently.

"I'm sorry," you both blurt out.

He gives you a bewildered look. "Why are you sorry, Y/N?"

"I don't know. I never wanted our friendship to get like this—uncomfortable. It's not you! It's just- well, we kissed. You never brought it up again, and I talked to Sophie-"

"You told Sophie?"

You chew at your bottom lip, remembering every question and joke Sophie said to you that night. God, I ought to kill her, you think to yourself. "I did, but it was only because I wanted to get her opinion. I didn't know if I freaked you out or…"

"You didn't," Arthur's voice is small as he taps his fingers against his legs. "I wasn't sure if you meant it. I was giving you time to change your mind, and you never said anything either, so I assumed you did."

You let out a puff of breath, moving your hands to his upper arms to make him look at you. "No, no, Arthur. That's not it at all. For two people who mostly communicate with only each other, we really had a misunderstanding here."

"So," Arthur gives you a look of hesitance, insecurity still flickering in his eyes. "You don't regret it?"

"No," you say to him as genuinely as you could. "Not even a little."

Not even a second passes by before Arthur is leaning in. He still pauses before he reaches your mouth, looking at you for permission. You just bunch his maroon sweater up in your hand and pull him forward.

Now that you both know where the other stands, nothing stops you from keeping your lips pressed together.

Not even the snide remarks from passerby's as they leave their wholesome dinner at the mom-and-pop shop to see you kissing and laughing with Arthur on the tiny bench.

Not even the voice of an older lady walking by muttering for you both to "get a room." Because you intend to, and you intend to real soon.

__

The following Christmas, Arthur tells more Santa jokes that make you roll your eyes, and you buy more gifts even though he told you not to. He watches Murray Franklin instead of hanging lights with you, and you eat his cookies that he baked even though they're labeled "Arthur's."

But you both know that neither of you actually mind. At the end of the day, he's still your best friend. You just get to kiss him now too.

[fluffyximagines]

This Feels Real

(Outer Banks) JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: You and JJ agree to fake date, but over time your feelings begin to feel real. 

Word Count: 3709

A/N: I’m so sorry I haven't posted in a few days. This is by far the longest imagine I've written and I wasn't a fan so ended up rewriting it. Hope you enjoy :)

Please send in some requests, I'm struggling with ideas atm.

Masterlist

“What about Topper?” Your mum asked, “he seems like a nice boy.”

“For the last time, I don’t want a boyfriend.” You sighed, shaking your head. You stepped into your dress, getting ready for the Midsummers party.

Your mum was constantly trying to set you up with guys, normally the sons of her friends, and you knew tonight would be no different. It’s not like you were opposed to having a boyfriend, you just didn’t like any of the ones she introduced you to. You thought they were all snobby, arrogant and spoilt, but that pretty much described most of the people you knew. You couldn’t help but feel as though you never belonged in the world in which you were living. You could never relate to the people around you. While they were all more focused on materialistic things, you wanted something more. But nonetheless, you sucked it up, these friends, however out of place you may feel amongst them, were all you had.

—————

You were currently at the Midsummers party, trying to avoid your mother and whatever boy she was trying to set you up with this time. Out of nowhere you heard a loud commotion. You craned your neck, standing on the tip of your toes to try and see what was causing all the fuss. You could see a blonde boy being dragged out of the party by a security guard. You recognised the boy as JJ Maybank, you didn’t know him well but had seen him around from time to time, at parties, and working at the club where you and your parents frequented.

You watched as he was forced out of the party, but not before downing a few people’s drinks and causing a scene. You couldn’t help but giggle slightly it was about time something interesting happened at one of these events.

—————

After a while, you grew tired of all the small talk with your parents’ friends and colleagues, and decided you needed some air. You exited the party, heading towards the front of the club where you knew it would be quiet.

“Oh, hi” You smiled, noticing the blonde boy from earlier leaning against a wall at the front of the club.

He just nodded his head in your direction before turning to look away from you.

You watched as he brought the joint that he was holding up to his lips, taking a deep breath in. “Can I take a hit of that?” You asked, gesturing to the joint in his fingers.

“You couldn’t handle it.” JJ scoffed, shaking his head.

“I think I can handle a little weed.” You replied, a hint of sarcasm evident in your tone.

“Suit yourself.” He shrugged, passing you the joint.

You took a deep breath in, feeling the smoke burn in your lungs. You tried to hide your cough, but it was no use, you bent over in a coughing fit. You could see JJ smirking from out of the corner of your eyes.

“Told you that you wouldn’t be able to handle it.” JJ shook his head as he snatched the joint from your fingers, returning it to his lips.

“So, what happened back there?” You questioned, gesturing towards the party.

“Got fired.” JJ responded shortly, continuing to smoke his joint.

You watched the blonde-haired boy breathing in, and blowing out, the smoke from his joint. As you did, an idea began to form in the back of your mind, slowly developing in your head. A plan not only to get JJ’s job back but also to get your mother to back off you about getting a boyfriend.

“I can help get your job back.” You announced, causing JJ to turn and look at you with his eyebrows raised. “But you would have to do something for me in return.”

“What could a kook possibly want from me?” JJ let out a small laugh as he shook his head.

“I want you to be my boyfriend.” You proposed, watching as JJ chokes on the smoke from his joint.

“Being a little forward, aren’t you?” JJ joked, “at least take me out on a date first.”

“Not like my real boyfriend.” You rolled your eyes.

You began to explain to JJ the plan that you had devised. JJ would pretend to be your boyfriend, it was obvious that your parents would hate the weed smoking, criminal boy from the cut, therefore your mother would stop pestering you to get a boyfriend.

“What’s in it for me then?” JJ questioned.

“You get your job back, and you get to piss off some kooks.” You shrugged.

“That’s always a bonus.” JJ smirked as he considered your plan. Eventually he nodded his head, “fine, I’m in.”

You jumped in excitement when you heard JJ agree, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer to your body. Realising what you were doing, you pulled back and cleared your throat, “sorry.” You reached out, signalling for JJ to shake it.

Once the two of you shook on it, you suggested it was a good idea for the two of you to make a contract. “We need something on paper, detailing the rules and boundaries.” You argued. JJ was hesitant at first, disagreeing with the suggestion that the two of you needed to follow set rules, “why can’t we just go with the flow?” Eventually he agreed, and so the two of you started making a list. The two of you would ‘date’ for 3 months, and in this time, you would attend parties together, meet each other’s friends, and just generally act like a couple. And of course, neither of you could tell anyone about your deal. You made sure to include your end of the deal, that you would help JJ get his job back. Once the 3 months were up, you would ‘break up’ and the two of you would go your separate ways.

“Oh, and one more thing.” You quickly added before you finalised the contract. “Under no circumstances do we fall for each other.”

“That won’t be a problem.” JJ smiled, “for me at least.”

And with that, the two of you finalised your plan, signed the contract, and your 3 months together began.

—————

Over the next few weeks, you and JJ began to hand out more and more. You introduce him to your friends, who made it pretty clear that he is not welcome within your friendship group, and he introduces you to the Pogues. Immediately, you become frond of the Pogues. You love how carefree and relaxed they are, spending most of your days with them out on the boat, drinking, soaking up the sun, and just having a good time.

The more you hang out with JJ, the more you begin to see the different sides to him. Like an onion, he was many different layers to him, some more obvious then others. You can clearly see how much he cares about his friends, and how he would do anything for the people that he cares about. You notice how easy it is for you to talk to JJ, about anything, and everything, the conversation just always seems to flow. Not to mention, he never fails to make you laugh, he sure is a funny guy. You begin to care for the blonde boy, looking forward to seeing him, all the while remaining aware of the nature of your relationship. You would not, could not, allow yourself to develop feelings for the boy, not when things must end in a couple of months.

—————

“What are you wearing?” You hissed, as you and JJ stood out the front of your house.

“A shirt.” JJ gave you a confused look.

“You weren’t supposed to get dressed up.” You explained in a frustrated tone. “They are supposed to hate you.”

“I wanted it to look like I at least tried.” JJ shrugged, not understanding why it bothered you so much, and feeling a bit hurt that you didn’t appreciate his effort to dress up for you.

You had invited JJ over for lunch so that your parents could meet your new boyfriend. So far, you had told your parents very little about JJ, and they had absolutely no clue you were dating someone from the cut, let alone him. You had to admit, you were pretty excited to see their faces when they realised that JJ was the boy that you had been spending so much time with. After all, JJ did have a terrible reputation for constantly getting arrested, something your parents were most definitely aware of.

“Mum, Dad, this is JJ.” You introduced JJ as you led him into the kitchen where your parents were. You saw both your parents faces fall as they saw JJ.

“Hi Mr and Mrs Y/L/N.” JJ gave them a small wave. “It’s really nice to meet you both.”

“Hello JJ.” Your mum tried to be polite, obviously faking a smile.

“Y/N can we talk to you.” You could see your dads face going red with anger, before he turned to look at JJ, “alone.”

JJ just nodded before walking into the next room, leaving you and your parents alone in the kitchen.

“What the hell is he doing here?” Your dad yelled, pointing towards the room where JJ was now standing.

“He’s my boyfriend.” You shrugged, “I wanted you guys to meet him.”

“He’s not welcome in my house.” Your dad shook his head, beginning to pace around the kitchen.

“Let’s just enjoy our lunch, we can discuss this later.” Your mum tried to calm your dad down.

You were now all sitting at your dining room table, JJ next to you, and your parent’s opposite. There was a tense silence in the air, no one was speaking. Both your parents were glaring at JJ from across the table. You were beginning to feel guilty for dragging JJ into this, but it was too late to back out now.

“The food looks really nice.” JJ broke the silence, smiling at both your parents. You gave JJ a reassuring smile when he looked at you to help him.

Before you could think of anything to say, your dad cleared his throat. “Why are you dating my daughter?”

“Well, I really like her.” JJ replied, struggling with what to say.

“Why?” Your dad continued to question him.

“Well she’s beautiful, and funny, and she’s not like anyone I’ve ever met before.” You couldn’t help but blush slightly as you listened to JJ’s words, something you very quickly tried to hide.

“How did you two meet?” You felt your stomach drop as your dad asked this question, you and JJ hadn’t talked about what you would tell your parents. JJ couldn’t tell them the truth, if they knew that you had attended parties at the cut, your parents would not hesitate to ground you.

“We have mutual friends.” You quickly answered the question before JJ could say anything.

“What friends? None of the friends we know would know someone like this.” Your dad questioned you, giving JJ a disgusted look when referring to him.

“Why are you being so rude!” You snapped at your dad, beginning to get frustrated at the way he was treating JJ.

“Y/N I don’t think your dad meant it like that.” Your mum interjected. “We are just worried; this family has a certain reputation to uphold.”

“What’s that supposed to mean.” You defended JJ.

“She means I’m not good enough for you.” JJ explained, giving you a sad smile.

“No, I just mean I want something better for my daughter. You aren’t the sort of person I want her associated with.” Your mother tried to explain, before realising that she wasn’t making it any better.

“But what if this is what I want.” You stood from your seat at the table, taking JJ’s hand and dragging him behind you. “We’re leaving.”

“Thank you for lunch.” JJ called from the doorway as you dragged him out of your house.

“Your parents are a bit harsh.” JJ joked once the two of you were standing out the front of your house.

“I’m sorry about that.” You shook your head, looking down at your feet.

“The plan was to make them mad.” JJ shrugged, “mission accomplished.”

“I know, but I didn’t expect them to say all that to your face.” You frowned.

“Most people just say it behind my back.” JJ nodded his head.

“You know what they said isn’t true, right?” You looked JJ in the eyes.

“Isn’t it?” You could see the sadness in JJ’s eyes as he said this.

“Of course it’s not.” You reached up to brush your thumb over JJ’s cheek. “I’d be lucky to have a boyfriend like you.”

“But I am your boyfriend.” JJ teased, letting out a small chuckle.

“I mean a real boyfriend.” You pulled your hand away, averting your gaze from JJ’s eyes.

“Yeah, right.” JJ sighed, running his hands through his hair. “I should go, see you later.”

You watched as JJ walked away from your house, sighing at the thought of facing your parents inside. You couldn’t help but feel disappointed in the way your parents had reacted to JJ. No. You shook that feeling, they weren’t supposed to like him, this was the plan after all.

—————

You were at a party that the Pogues had thrown at the boneyard. You had spent most of the night drinking and laughing with JJ. You couldn’t help but blush when you noticed that whenever a guy tried to hit on you, JJ would get overly protective. He would appear out of nowhere, wrap his arm around your waist, and press a kiss to your cheek, making sure to tell everyone that you were his girl.

The two of you were dancing, if you could call it that. You had drunk quite a bit that night and couldn’t do a lot other than stand there and sway. Luckily, JJ was there to help look after you, and hold you steady so that you didn’t fall over.

Suddenly, you tripped on JJ’s foot, falling into his chest. You looked up at JJ, your breath hitching in your throat as you noticed how close your face was to his. You wrapped your arms around his neck, leaning in closer and placing your lips to his. You felt his soft lips brushing against yours. He tasted like beer and weed, something that only drew you closer.

JJ took a sharp breath in, before slowly pulling away, his hands on your shoulders to hold you out in front of him. His eyes were wide in surprise and his mouth slightly open, you couldn’t help but giggle at the look of shock on his face.

“Gotta make it look real.” You leaned up to whisper in JJ’s ear.

“Yeah, right.” JJ nodded. Of course, you were too drunk to notice, but there was a clear look of disappointment on JJ’s face as he listened to your words. Obviously, it had all just been for show.

—————

It was almost midnight when you heard a small tap on your window. You walked toward the window, looking out to see a familiar blonde head.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” You whispered as you slid your window open.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know where else to go.” JJ climbed through your window, stumbling slightly and landing on your floor.

“JJ what’s going on.” You questioned, beginning to get worried.

“It’s not a big deal.” For the first time JJ lifted his head to look at you. You gasped as you took in his appearances, his face was littered with bruises, and his lip was bleeding.

“It looks like a big deal.” You quickly made your way to the bathroom, returning with the first aid kit. “Did you get in another fight with Topper or Rafe?”

“No.” JJ shook his head, “my dad he…” You just nodded, not wanting to push JJ to say more than he wanted to.

Once you had finished cleaning his wounds, JJ went to climb back out the window.

“Where are you going.” You asked, sitting down on your bed.

“Home, I guess.” JJ answered.

“You can spend the night here.” You offered.

“No, I shouldn’t.” JJ shook his head. “What if your parents find out?”

“I don’t care about them.” You frowned, looking over JJ’s bruises again. “I’m not letting you go home.”

JJ just nodded, climbing into bed next to you. You wrapped your arms around him, giving him a small squeeze. “Thanks Y/N.” JJ whispered.

“Always.” You whispered, gently rubbing your fingers in circles to comfort him.

—————

“You know what tomorrow is right?” You were out on the boat with JJ and the Pogues. You had your head resting on JJ’s chest as you soaked up the sun.

“What’s tomorrow?” JJ whispered into your ear.

“Our 3-month anniversary.” You answered, frowning slightly.

“Oh.” As JJ spoke, you felt his body tense up from behind you.

“Yeah.” You sighed.

“So I guess that means we’re done.” JJ answered.

“Yeah guess so.” You nodded.

That evening when you got back to the shore, you couldn’t help but feel sad, every part of you wanted to stay there with the Pogues forever. You had grown close to the Pogues over the past few months, you couldn’t imagine what you were going to do without them, especially JJ. It took everything in for you to leave John B’s that night, knowing you would probably never return. Of course, the Pogues didn’t understand why you had been acting so weird, still not being aware of the plan between you and JJ. As you went to leave, JJ offered to walk you home. The two of you were silent as you walked, neither of you wanting to be the first to say goodbye and admit that it was over.

“Well thanks for everything.” You smiled as you reached your front door.

“Yeah you too.” JJ nodded, looking anywhere but at you.

You leaned in to give JJ a hug, probably the last hug you would ever have with him. JJ’s arms held you close, squeezing tighter for a few moments before finally letting you go. You watched as JJ walked away, his head hung low, you wanted more than anything to run after him, but you wouldn’t.

—————

“I miss her.” Kie frowned as her and the rest of the Pogues sat in John B’s lounge room. JJ had eventually told them the truth about the two of you, giving in after endless questions about why you had broken up so suddenly.

“It’s not the same without Y/N.” Pope agreed.

“Dude, why don’t you just text her?” John B turned to look at JJ.

“Obviously you miss her.” Kie nodded.

“Doesn’t matter, none of it was real.” JJ shook his head.

“Looked real to me.” Kie shrugged.

“Nah, not to her.” JJ gave a sad smile.

Meanwhile, you were laying in your bed, watching another sappy romance movie.

“I think you should call him.” Your mum appeared in the doorway to your room.

“Mum, I told you we broke up.” You shook your head.

“Yes, but I don’t understand why.” She entered your room, taking a seat next to you on your bed.

“Just didn’t work.” You shrugged, not even bothering to think of a proper reason. “Not like you liked him anyway.”

“Maybe he wasn’t the person I imagined you with but I’ve never seen you as happy as you were with him.” Your mum began, causing you to turn your head and look at her. “At the end of the day, your father and I just want you to be happy, and it’s pretty obvious you are with JJ.”

You just nodded as tears started to form in your eyes. Your mum was right. You and JJ had started as a lie, but the feelings you had developed for him were real. With JJ, and with the Pogues, it was the first time you had felt like you really belonged, the first time you felt like you had people that really understood you. But how could you tell JJ that, after all, it’s not like he felt the same way.

—————

“Come in.” You called, hearing a knock on your bedroom door. You assumed it was your mum, the last person you expected to see was JJ.

“Hey.” JJ smiled as he entered your bedroom.

“What are you doing here?” You pushed yourself up in your bed so you were in a sitting position.

“You texted me to come over.” JJ gave you a confused look.

“What?” You began looking for your phone, before realising that it wasn’t in your room. “My mum.”

“Oh.” JJ’s smile fell from his face. “I can just go.”

“Wait.” You quickly reached out to grab JJ’s arm, stopping him from walking away.

“Yeah?” JJ turned to look at you.

“Umm.” You hesitated, nervous to tell JJ what you actually wanted to say. “I miss you. And the Pogues. Hanging out with you guys, it was the first time I actually felt like I belonged. And I know you and I were fake but it started to feel like something more.” A blush formed on your cheeks as you realised that you had just blurted that out. You turned your head away, avoiding eye contact with JJ.

“It felt real to me too.” JJ placed his hand on your cheek, turning your face to look at him.

“We sound like all the cheesy movies I’ve been watching.” You laughed, shaking your head.

“Y/N will you be my girlfriend? For real this time.” JJ asks, running his thumb over your cheek.

You didn’t answer, instead opening your drawer and pulling out the contract you and JJ had constructed 3 months prior. JJ watched as you tore it apart into tiny little pieces, the two of you chuckling. Once you were done, you placed your lips to JJ’s. The two of you remained like that for a few moments, before pulling away. You had a huge grin on your face, and you could see that JJ had one exactly the same.

[hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall]

Love is an open door

Pairing: Bucky x F!Reader

Summary: There are two new people that Bucky meet. Two new souls that would change Bucky’s life completely.

Warnings: Fluff, lot of fluff, Bucky as an uncle.

A/N:I know it is waaaay past the deadline @valkyriesryde​ and I am soooo super sorry, but I am finnally a bit of free time, so decided to post it even if it’s too late </3 I’m sorry!

P.S. It is still not beta’d so I’m sorry, it will be when I find some more time.

Words: 2400+

Bucky hated missions like that. The solo missions that Steve insisting on sending him. It was always whether boring or too troublesome to take much care about. He was away for a week and all he wanted to do now was take a quick shower, snuggle on the couch and keep up with Star Wars. Something Sam insisted on watching. And as much as he hated to admit it, he actually enjoyed it. Despite the confusing order of the movies and the fact that it was after all recommended by no other than Sam damn Wilson.  

Yes, a shower, movie and a bunch of unhealthy fast food that would be burned by the serum quicker than he would like. This was all he wanted. Just some quiet time for himself. Away from the mission, away from the guns and knives and away from the annoying voice in his head telling him his every move. The comms were a blessing but he mostly saw them as a curse. Annoying piece of technology that made him feel controlled again. 

"Welcome, Sergeant Barnes." The voice in the elevator welcomed him. Despite being used to it, it still amazed him at the whole idea of the AI. He could say a lot about Tony Stark but Bucky always thought of him as a genius, maybe even bigger than Howard. 

"Friday, please tell Steve I will give him the rapport tomorrow. I'm off duty today!" He smiled hearing a somehow amused voice. He knew his best friend enough to expect him to not be happy about it, but Bucky didn't care. He needed time off. 

His thoughts, however, were interrupted when he heard two voices in the living room. One of a female and the second one of… a kid? This wasn't Morgan for sure, and definitely not Pepper. He frowned and started walking faster, uneasy about new voices in the background. His hand on the knives holder on his hips and the second one ready to block. Call him paranoid but he went through enough to know that sometimes you can't even trust kids.

"Can we watch Lion King?" He stopped at the doors seeing two figures sitting on his couch. The little girl had a long, blonde hair and was already in her pyjamas. She was happily jumping next to a young woman that was going through the available movies, smiling softly at the girl. Bucky didn't know what to do. He didn't know the two of them, and it made him bit uneasy and a little on edge when the woman turned and noticed him standing at the doors. 

"Mr Barnes!" You exclaimed making him frown even more. How the hell did you know him while he had no idea about you? "Apologies, Steve told us no one will be here for a while so we can use the bigger TV." At the name of his best friend the little girl turned and smiled brightly. 

"Is uncle Steve coming as well?" Uncle Steve? What the hell. He just stood there in a complete shock not understanding what was going on. 

"Who are you?", he kicked himself internally when his voice came out defensive and grumpy. 

"I am Alice. And this is Y/N!" The little girl answered. It was just now that Bucky realised the girl was wearing an adorable Captain America pyjama, that melted his heart just a little bit. He still heard the girl’s little voice calling his best friend 'uncle Steve'. It was adorable. "We work here!" She chimed in happily, puffing her chest. His eyes widened. 

"What?" He mumbled completely shocked. He looked at the woman who started to chuckle uncontrollably. 

"I'm sorry Sergeant Barnes, it must be confusing." You finally added hugging the little girl to your side. "Let me start again." You introduced yourself and he repeated the name in his head to make sure he won't forget it. "We haven't met yet. I was working from home since you came to the Tower, but I am happy to see the knives treat you well.” He looked down to the weapon that has become his second right hand. He loved them. They were not only amazingly comfortable but also weighed almost as they were made only for him and no one else. “I work in the weapon development apartment.” He nodded, slowly understanding. “Your knives were my first ‘personal attached’ weapon I made.”

“Personal attached?”

“You know. A weapon only for one person. Like the knives would work with your fingerprints, your hold and your way of moving. It's your own personal weapon”, You were smiling brightly, visibly proud of yourself.

“She’s smart, right?” The little girl interjected, sending Bucky one of her most beautiful smiles. He was confused, lost and completely taken off guard, when the girl’s little hand linked with his, pulling him towards the couch. “We’re about to watch Lion King 2, wanna join us?” His eyes were travelling from the beautiful little Angel, Y/N, the couch, TV and Alice’s hand on his metal hand. 

“Alice…” You whispered seeing Bucky tensing with the touch. “Sergeant Barnes must be tired.”  you turned towards the man and smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry she gets super excited whenever she meets new people. Especially that she was waiting to meet you.” 

“Me?”

“Uncle Steve told us you are his bestest friend in the entire world!!” She exclaimed happily, tugging the man on the couch, making him sit down. “Can I call you Uncle Sergeant?” Y/N laughed out loud hearing Alice adorable slip. 

“Sweety Sergeant isn’t a name.” 

“Than why do you call him that way?” She pouted not understanding why you were laughing at her. 

“Bucky is fine…” He finally managed to say something, still in a complete shock at what was happening. 

“Bucky! Yes, Uncle Stevie told me he calls you Bucky. Can I call you Uncle Bucky, please, pretty please?” Barnes swallowed hard. He wasn’t used to people warming up to him so easily. He did not expect a little kid to be clinging to his metal hand with no fear. He would never expect such an Angel would ever look at him with so much happiness in her eyes. And he definitely did not expect to be called Uncle, by anyone. 

“I’m sorry”, he turned towards you, who sat next to him. “She is normally better behaved, but Steve was telling her all those stories about your childhood, about the friendship and banters between the two of you, so she was really excited to meet you…” you bit her lip nervously and averted your eyes to look at Alice’s little hand on his left one. “If she… If we’re making you uncomfortable we can leave…” Bucky raised his brow and looked down at his hand. 

“Am I annoying Uncle Bucky?” Alice asked, taking her hand away from him. He tensed seeing tears in her eyes and trembling of her bottom lip. He took a deep breath and decided to relax. As much as he needed a good explanation, he assumed it can be done between him and you after Alice goes to sleep. 

“I’m just embarrassed, Alice”, he said smiling softly at the little girl. “I haven’t even watched the first part…”

“You have never seen Lion King!!!!!?” She screamed, looking away at you with a surprise plastered on her young face. “Can we please watch the first part again?” You looked at the man and whispered a quiet ‘thank you’. You could only imagine how difficult it was all for him, but were thankful to hide it for Alice, despite not even knowing her. You would only chuckle when Alice turned on the movie and positioned herself on Buck’s laps, excited to see a movie she watched about 15 times already. 

*

“This song will be stuck in my head forever” Bucky growled making you chuckle. Alice fell asleep in the middle of the movie, but the man was determined to finish it. 

“Yeah let it go can get annoying” You laughed, caressing Alice’s hair, softly to make sure you won’t wake her up. Well, today will be a day free of the shower. If she has finally gotten to sleep you were not gonna wake her up. 

“Oh, no this one is ok” he sighed, rubbing his short beard. “The whole ‘Love is an open door’ thing.” You looked at him and burst to laugh, You covered your mouth not wanting to wake the little girl on your knees. “Seriously it was so stupid and cool at the same time.” He smirked hearing you stifled laugh. “You need help with her?” 

You and Bucky have become friends since that first night. The night he has officially become the biggest Disney fan, becoming Alice’s best friend. When the little girl has finally fallen asleep after part two of the classic, you were able to talk to him and answer all the questions he had. 

“Alice isn’t really mine…” You started shyly. You both sat on the couch opposite to each other. “My parents died when I was 14 and since then my brother focused on raising me. He was the most amazing man I knew.” You took a sip of a beer you brought for yourself and Bucky. “We were close. Really close. He was my both parents and brother. So it was natural that when he got married and had little Alice, I became her godmother.” Barnes frowned, slowly understanding where this was going. “They both died in a car accident six months after Alice was born. I was 19 that year, but I knew that there was no way in hell I would give her away. So since then, she is mine…” 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, finishing his beer. “I cannot even imagine how hard it was for you.”

“I managed somehow. I studied part-time. And two years ago when I was finishing my studies Tony fetched me and gave an internship that transformed into a proper job. And here I am.” you smiled at him, still nervously playing with the hem of your shirt. “Alice knows that I’m her aunt. I gave her a choice to how she wants to call me. For now, she sticks with my name and an aunt/niece relationship and I am ok with that.”

“She’s a great kid. You should be proud. I’m sure your brother is…” It was the longest thing he said to you, but you really appreciated it. 

“She has so much from them. She is as outgoing as my brother. I am more stuck in books and movies. But I think she starts to…” You bit your lip nervously, realising how much you have been talking. “I’m sorry, I must be boring you…”

“Well, it would be a good idea to get to know the two of you, if I have just become an uncle.”

*

Since that day you, Alice and Bucky were spending free time together. Whether it was watching movies, going shopping, or playing some stupid games. He surprised you (and himself) with how amazing with kids he really was. Alice loved him truly. Even Steve got jealous when she was constantly asking about her ‘uncle Bucky’. And he spoiled her rotten. Whether it was with sweets or new toys and books. But who were you to ban him from doing it? You could only watch and smile softly at their relationship, happy that Alice had such a great family. 

“I like that song”, you said after Bucky put Alice to her bed. Tony was good enough to make her an extra room in the Tower. Yeah, Alice was one spoilt brat with all those uncles and aunties around. “It’s innocent and quite adorable.” He raised his brow and poured you your favourite drink, sitting next to you at the coach. In the past weeks, you two not only became closer at a spiritual level but also physical. It all changed dramatically when you both fallen asleep watching a movie and woke up tangled in each other, with Sam Wilson grinning at you. 

After that, you laid next to each other during the movies and fallen asleep next to each other. Sometime after that Bucky admitted that he slept much better when you were next to him. So after that whenever he had a nightmare he just walked to your bedroom and crawled next to you. He had good night sleep and you enjoyed a warm body next to you. 

You both started to spend time with each other alone. Whether it was at the theatre, ice cream or morning runs that you decided to come back to. James was good enough to start an hour earlier and just job when you joined him when he had his ‘normal’ run. 

And he enjoyed this time as much you did. You weren’t afraid of him. Never looked differently, and didn’t try to act in front of him. You were real, kind-hearted and so beautiful inside and outside. 

“Of course you loved it. It was romantic”, he always laughed at your girly romantic side. Not to be mean but he did believe it was adorable. “It is cute.” You blushed and smiled a little. For the past days, Bucky has become more and more like Steve was telling her. A bit flirty and charming. He was sweet and you couldn’t argue that it was affecting you. You expected what he felt towards you and you were sure he knew your feelings. But you were afraid to do anything with those feelings. You could not bear for Alice to lose her loving uncle because you two would break up. “Go out with me.” it wasn’t a question, you noticed. “I can see you’re afraid, but let me show you that I will care for both of you. Alice and you, Y/N. I’m falling for you, fast and strong and I want you to be mine. And I want to be yours.” Those soft words from someone as strong as Bucky brought comfort to you. To you and your heart. You tried to avoid this conversation but now that he started it, your heart was telling you to believe him and so you did. You smiled softly and squeezed his metal hand.   

“Can I just say something crazy?” His eyes widened and a quiet chuckle left his lips. 

“I love crazy”, he quoted back, smiling at you softly. 

“I would love to go on a date with you, James.”

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @otter-girl

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a locomotive shape. this means that you're a very ambitious person, with a lot of energy. mars has a big influence on you, and your life revolves around understanding your needs and achieving your goals. the empty part of your life is what you have to develop, hence your reputation, career life and also your routine and health.

your dominant planets are venus, uranus and the moon. you may be a bit unpredictable and have frequent mood swings, you're probably easily influenced by others. you are very creative, though! you are able to come up with many innovative ideas, and you're probably drawn to artistic outlets such as writing, dancing, singing, etc.

your dominant sign is libra. you're overall a peaceful person, you try to avoid conflicts if possible, even though sometimes you could have a sharp tongue. you're a romantic person, maybe too much. you hold unrealistic expectations of people, hence you often get disappointed when things don't turn out the way you thought. you're able to see both sides of an argument, and that's both good and bad. in fact, you're very objective, and most probably your opinions are right; yet, it may be annoying for people that are venting to you, as you could constantly point out their mistakes, even though you don't do it out of malice.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in libra, 8° / 1st decan ruled by venus

you're naturally likeable, you have a particular charm to you that makes everyone drool over you. you're very nice and outgoing, you always try to make others feel at ease. you're very considerate of others' feelings. you strive for fairness and justice, it's the way you approach others and the world. basically, you treat others like they treat you: if they're kind with you, you'll be very sweet. otherwise, you'll turn very sarcastic and harsh, almost cold at a certain point. this can make you seem extremely provocative, especially with your aries moon-scorpio sun. you're very opinionated, you always feel the need to express your thoughts as you're very proud of them. in addition, since you always decide whether something is right or not, you may come off as a know-it-all. on the other hand, you're very sociable and you enjoy being in company, doesn't matter whether you're with your family, friends, lover etc. you may get to know many people throughout your life, but your friendships may not be much stable. you are surrounded by people, but you could feel lonely particularly often. I also need to point out that libra is ruled by venus, the planet of beauty. you're most likely very attractive and magnetic. even if not necessarily conventionally, people find themselves attracted to you. you may have sparkling doe eyes, with also full lips and a defined cupid's bow. your face is more on the longer side, perhaps you have an heart-shaped face, with high cheekbones and a pointy chin. you may also have naturally amazing, fluffy and flowing hair. your body is also very feminine, with a lot of curves and softness to it. it's very romantic, to sum up. also, your hair is probably naturally beautiful; it could be curly, or at least it's very thick and healthy-looking, even if you don't take much care of it.

libra ascendant opposite aries moon: you may have troubles understanding others’ real feelings for you. you may feel as if everyone hates you, like everyone is talking behind your back when it’s the opposite. the ascendant being in libra doens’t help either, as this aspect enhances its trust issues even more. you’re particularly sensitive about others’ view and opinion of you, you may get deeply hurt when people criticize you. you could have the tendency to act differently than you usually do, in order to preserve your feelings. this is obviously a toxic behaviour, that fills you up with your own stress and doubles it. due to that, you may become very moody and nervous, ending up hurting others yourself. or maybe, it’s the other way around; your feelings are so overwhelming that you can’t hide them, and that could put you in embarrassing, unpleasant situations. you may show all of your emotions on your face, ready to be read. the way to cope with this placement is finding someone similiar to you; someone who’s trust-worthy, and very sensitive and empathetic too. someone who’d never judge you for you think or say, and that would always help you becoming the best version of yourself. someone that understands you, without having to explain all of your behaviours and habits.

libra ascendant conjunct libra mars: this placement makes your libra rising less soft. your approach to the world is spontaneous, you don't like thinking before acting. you don't really do this with malice, though; you're just very honest. even though you appear really confident to others, you may find yourself feeling a little insecure. that comes from the fact that you're a perfectionist, even though you want to be perfect to show it to others rather than for yourself. hence, you feel pressured. even though you may appear as rude, once you get to know someone you truly care about you're willing to control yourself, just for them. that's how far you'd go for someone you love. physically, people with mars conjunct the ascendant are usually very fast, active and athletic in general. you may walk fast, and you have quick reflexes. you're probably fit; even if you're overweight, your body will still look good, with a nice and toned structure. you may have strong, sharp, almost 'masculine' features: thin lips, thick eyebrows and lashes, broad shoulders, sharp nose... stuff like that.

🌞 sun in scorpio, 17° / 2nd decan ruled by pluto and neptune

you're quite of a loner, you prefer spending time alone rather than with others. you're extremely intuitive, and you can read people like a book; they can't lie or keep secrets from you, you'll surely find out. you're pretty charismatic, and paired with your wise intellect it's hard not to agree with your ideas, especially considering that your moon is in aries. you're basically a leader, a very demanding one. you have high standards regarding everything: clothes, food, goals, people... you're always striving for the best, you don't want to settle down. on the other hand, even though it may take you a while to find someone worth of your affection, once that someone shows up you'll stay with them forever. you're deeply loyal, and also caring in your own way. that's because you value feelings, you can easily smell when someone isn't trustworthy. you're probably very protective of your friends and loved ones in general, sometimes even too much. this could even escalate and become a more serious issue, as scorpio is also the planet of obsession, after all. it's common for you to feel your emotions x2, as they're too intense to handle. you know everything about others, but you don't show off and gossip about it. actually, you keep the info for yourself and use it when you need it.

🌙 moon in aries, 14° / 2nd decan ruled by mars and mercury

you aim for greatness. this is where your strong desire to be the #1 comes from, pretty much. you're very proud of yourself, and you don't like to acknowledge your mistakes. you always want to look like you have your life together, even in certain moments when you feel lost. I would say that this is a sort of self-sabotaging mechanism, as you can literally go as far as forcing a smile if it shows the world that you can stand by yourself. overall, I would say you deal with your emotions in a very 'child-like' way; after all, aries is pretty self-centered. you tend to preserve yourself more, unless someone really special to you is involved. in fact, aries moon makes you really protective of your loved and trusted ones, even though they're not many because of your high standards. you're also very honest, you speak from your heart. while it's a positive trait, you may be too blunt and ruin your relationships because of that. you're both smart and fast, hence you may get annoyed when people mishear or misunderstand your words.

🗣 mercury in scorpio, 0° / 1st decan ruled by pluto

you're extremely blunt and straight-forward, you may actually hurt people with your words. you probably lack diplomacy, and you're very realistic. the thing is, you speak the truth, but not everyone can accept it. that's why your behaviour is so controversial. though, since you also have a libra rising, I assume you could manifest this side of you only when you react by impulse, when you're angry. otherwise, you try to be as well-spoken as possible. you speak fluent sarcasm, and that could annoy people who don't understand your sense of humor. you're probably good at lying, and even manipulating people. you may often make others change their mind just with your own words, but be careful not to use this skill to hurt others, or you'll only experience a sense of guilt and overall the bad sides of it. on the other hand, you're an extremely captivating speaker, you'd be successful at anything that involves the use of words and voice. you're truly intuitive, and it's easy for you to understand when someone is being honest or is lying to you. last but not least, you're very secretive as well. you're probably the type to know everything and anything about others, while you remain a mystery.

❤️ venus in sagittarius, 25° / 3rd decan ruled by jupiter and the sun

people may consider you flaky, as you value freedom above all. you may be the type that likes making new experiences regarding love, and you often date your crushes. yet, you feel too limited in a relationship. you don't enjoy committing to someone if that someone isn't perfect for you, you're only completely loyal to the one you consider your true love. you can't give up your freedom, your thirst for adventure and experiences for someone else. basically, your ideal partner would be a risk-taker, someone loyal but not too clingy, that is down to go on a road trip in every moment. someone impulsive, that could help you stepping out of your comfort-zone. you're probably into those youthful love stereotypes, e.g. high school dates. you want your relationships to be filled with excitement, you despise boring, traditional and cheesy things. you may also find yourself being attracted to unavailable people; that is, you could fall for people that are already taken, or maybe they're physically unavailable, e.g they live abroad or in another city in general. you're also attracted to foreigners, and people that have a wise, yet bubbly aura around them.

sagittarius venus square libra mars: this placement most likely gives you a short-temper. you may have lots of friends or lots of romantic partners, but you may find yourself being often irritated by them. you could argue with others over petty things, and this could affect your relationships significantly. at the same time, you enjoy fun, exciting relationships. you're the type who's looking for a risktaker, even dangerous partner. you hate boredom, and this may be your weakness regarding this placement; that is, once the relationship starts getting more serious, you feel as if it's going down, when it's actually the opposite. hence, you just run towards a new adventure. with this placement, what you need is learning to open up and being honest without being too blunt. you need to talk about your feelings, you can't bottle them up, but be careful not to sound rude, don't be too impulsive. because of your nature, the perfect partner for you would be someone mature, confident and empathetic that will understand you and won't get hurt by your words.

☄️ mars in libra, 3° / 1st decan ruled by venus

there’s this stereotype that libra mars people are passive-aggressive. it may be true, but only partially. in fact, you try to avoid conflicts exclusively when you’re in public, or maybe with someone you don’t know well. in that case, you can eventually try to avoid the problem. with people you’re close to, you’re pretty much the opposite. you may say the worst of things that you probably don’t even feel, you may even have the istinct to throw hands. you’re driven by a strong sense of justice, and you probably were the class’ snitch during daycare/primary school. you also strive for equality, hence you may get very defensive when it comes to proving your innocence, or just really anyone’s. overall, you’re a fair person with strong morals, who acts based on the situation you’re in.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in libra. you always try to be kind and friendly with people you don't know; you most likely don’t like conflicts, you prefer avoiding them, even though you may have some troubles with that due to your impulsive and fiery aries moon. you probably care a lot about your appearance, and because of that you could get insecure from time to time. usually, people with libra in their 1st house look for themselves in others, as their chart is basically upside down. yet, since you have mars conjunct the ascendant, you don’t depend on others as much as other libra risings. you’re still a free-spirit, you’re able to stand up and you come off as more fierce than the typical libra ascendant. you also have your scorpio mercury in this house; you enjoy communicating and intellectualism. you’re very curious about everything that surrounds you. you love expanding your knowledge, ideas and mind in general through communication, interactions and media. you have the ability to adapt quickly to new situations; your mind is fast, usually impulsive, and you are able to come up with new ideas and solutions quickly. since you’re constantly mentally active, physically you may also tend to play with your fingers or hair, or maybe you tend to gesticulate while you speak.

your 2nd house is in scorpio, with also your sun placed there. this placement can make you seem a bit selfish. in fact, you’re extremely possessive of your possessions, you don’t want to share them with others. there’s a lot of karma around your finances. in fact, if you’re too stingy, it may bite your butt. you need to give in order to receive, so I’d suggest you to share your things more with others. you could share a meal with a friend, for example. you’ll surely get something positive back from it. your finances may not be stable either; they are in constant change, and while this placement can make you earn quite a great amount of money, it can also make you lose everything you have. no inbetweens. the 2nd house is also about self-esteem, your relationship with your appearance. you have contrasting feelings about it; some days, you’re very confident. other days, you hate yourself. you may find flaws in every single picture you take or every pants you try on. it’s a very intense placement, as you may often feel as if you need to change your appearance in order to love yourself. based on other placements in your chart, it could manifest in spending money in a new wardrobe for example, as you feel like changing your style would help you boost your self-confidence.

your 3rd house is in sagittarius, with also your pluto, chiron and venus placed there. this is an amazing placement for a writer! you’re extremely open-minded and philosophical. you’d probably do great at poetry or just literature in general. you’re thirsty for knowledge, you aspire to learn everything you can, you enjoy being smart and educated. you most likely love comedy, and you have an amazing sense of humor yourself, you’re able to light up the room and make everyone burst into laughter even if you don’t mean to. you’re also very intelligent, you’re able to memorize things fast and you’re also a fast-learner. you may be less into gossips than other libras, as you’re very benevolent and considerate of others’ feelings. in addition, you’re able to see the good in everyone, there’s no reason for you to talk behind someone’s back. actually, it’s the opposite. you’re quite impulsive, you say things as they are. pluto here makes you extremely mysterious; you may like diving into dark topics, such as horror and crimes, or even witchy things such as astrology, crystals, tarots, etc. you may be good at keeping secrets, and you could often find people opening up to you. basically, you know everything about everyone, but others know nothing about you. chiron here indicates that you're probably insecure about the way you speak; you could stutter for example, or maybe you feel insecure about your voice. it could also be that you weren't that good in school, you probably learned better by yourself than in groups.

your 4th house is in capricorn, with also neptune placed there. I can tell that your childhood was quite complex. not necessarily bad, I don't see any kind of trauma, but you probably had to grow up way sooner than other kids. your parents could have been very hard-working and focused on their jobs, possibly wealthy too. they were very responsible and cared a lot about you, they always made sure you had everything you needed, even though they could have been slightly absent from time to time due to their jobs. people with a capricorn ic usually find something missing in their childhood, they had to deal with responsibilities from a young age. it could even be that you started working when you were still a teen, or maybe you had to take care of the house or of your siblings for them. neptune could have made you a bit more insecure as a child than other capricorn ics. you weren’t much extroverted, you preferred staying in, drawing, playing games etc. possibly, you were also close to arts, you used to express your feelings through creative outlets when you were a child. it could also be that one of your parents may be absent; they could be divorced, or in the worst case they might have died when you were pretty young.

your 5th house is in aquarius, with also your uranus placed there. you’re extremely creative, your ideas are very innovative, and you may have particular hobbies, interests or taste than others. when you’re able to fully express yourself, you gain full security and you start experimenting and inventing new things. you could be the type to start new fashion trends, music styles, art styles… basically, you’re a creative genius. your hobbies may also involve astrology, as well as human studies like psychology, or also anything that has to do with technology. you may be into videogames for example, tv series, social media… they’re your way to spend your free-time and relax. your relationships may also be very unconventional; you could usually date people online, or perhaps you may have the potential to meet someone through dating apps. they’re quite unstable, they may end out of the blue for example. yet, the part of fortune here makes it better; in fact, you’ll be able to achieve the best of your luck through creative outlets. again, if I were in you I’d definitely try writing something! you may also dedicate yourself to fashion, art, music, etc., anything that stimulates your creativity.

your 6th house is in pisces. in your daily life, you hardly ever have a structured schedule. you go with the flow, you take things as they come. you may often have your head in the clouds, you could get distracted easily and you may literally creative oscar-worthy movies in your head instead of doing what you need to do. your job may involve arts, images, possibly even fame. you should definitely use your creative talents for your possible career. also, you could benefit from helping others; you could be a psychologist or therapist of any kind, a nurse… any place where you’re able to help others. again, you could also help others through your art, hence with your lyrics, books, etc. when it comes to diets, workout routines, skincare routines etc. you could lack consistency, even though your libra and aries energy make you more motivated to take care of your appearance. you may sleep a lot, it’s easy for you to feel tired and stressed even when you’re not over-working yourself.

your 7th house is in aries, with also your moon conjunct the descendant. love is most likely not your priority in life. you need independence, and you’re able to stand up for yourself on your own. you don’t need someone else to help you. you tend to attract partners in your life that are hot-headed, stubborn, assertive and goal-oriented. they strive to be the best at everything they do, they’re extremely competitive and willing to do anything to achieve their goals. basically, you attract very dominant partners, but you don’t want to be dominated or controlled. you may often experience power struggles between you and your partner, which cause you issues in every relationship you get in. at the same time, you wouldn’t stand someone too submissive either, as you still need someone that would mentally stimulate you. they may actually be quite selfish and self-centered, they’ll care more about their own development rather than that of you two as a couple. an aries 7th house indicates that while you’ll have a very active, passionate spouse, you may also experience lots of arguments and discussions in your marriage life, perhaps even physical violence in the worst case. your moon here luckily makes things better; while you may often experience power-struggles with your partners, you most likely attract very empathetic and nurturing people as well that could help you with your temper.

your 8th house is in taurus, with also saturn sitting there. you have the most stable, stubborn sign in a house that requires constant change. you probably hate changing your routine and stepping out of your comfort zone. changes are hard for you to accept; you find it hard to change job all of a sudden for example, or even letting go of a toxic friend of yours can be stressful for you. also, you could be quite materialistic and fond of material possessions, causing you to be a bit too stingy, which isn’t good for your karma. another reason that this house contrasts with your 2nd house in scorpio is that you feel like you constantly need to change, but ironically slow taurus makes your changes way slower than usual. sometimes, when they happen, they’re so subtle that you probably can’t even see them or at least notice them at first. saturn here indicates that you struggle to open up; it may take you a while to get intimate with someone, not just physically but also mentally. you're very private, and you probably have trust issues as well, it's hard for you to trust people. as a result, your bonds with others could be a bit superficial. but luckily, as you grow mature, you'll be able to work out this problem and feel more comfortable with others.

your 9th house is in gemini, with also jupiter placed there. gemini in the 9th house cusp usually makes people a bit close-minded, as they are very logical and careful in their approach to the world. you may change your ideas and opinions quite quickly, to the point that you could seem unconsistent. when learning new things, you like exploring different matters and subject, from maths to literature, but you may struggle to focus on only one. as a result, you may lack precision. luckily, jupiter here is its natural place and helps you dealing with this placement; you're probably a fast-learner and you're very witty and curious, you like learning about anything you can. you probably like studying, not necessarily at school but studying in general, and you may also be skilled at foreign languages. you could also be interested in foreign matters, such as cultures, music, etc.

your 10th house is in cancer. your career needs to be private. that doesn’t mean that you can’t become famous of course, but you prefer being more hidden at work, you may even work from home or from a young age. many celebrities with this placement, in fact, started working when they were still young. also, cancer indicates that your future job will give you the opportunity to express and / or deal with your / others’ feelings and emotions, and considering that the ruler of this house, the moon, is in the 7th house, I can see you working with other people. you could become a teacher, a counselor, as well as a nurse, a therapist… anything that allows you to express your emotions while also helping others is suitable for you. you could possibly also choose the same career as your parents, or you may handle the family’s business for example. you could also end up doing the job of your childhood dreams. you feel the need to pursue a meaningful career in your life, you want to feel emotionally connected to it. you don’t only want something that allows you to earn money, you also want to gain wisdom and maturity from a job, and hence you could even be a bit picky in choosing your future career.

your 11th house is in leo. with this placement, you’re probably very popular among your friends, you’re most likely the most talkative or funniest member of your group. you may also attract very popular people yourself in your friendships, perhaps even celebrities. possibly, you could even make friends that allow you to gain recognition and / or popularity, doesn’t matter whether it’s in school, job, etc. you could also have very big dreams for your future, probably regarding your career and finances. you most likely aspire to be wealthy and financially independent, you are very hard-working and possibly even a bit materialistic.

your 12th house is in virgo. this is another placement that indicates that you are an amazing writer! in fact, the 12th house is about secret skills too, and virgo is ruled by mercury, the planet of communication. you do the math. with this placement, though, I feel like you may feel restricted from pursuing your goals, or even a career in the public eye, as you’re quite sensitive to others’ criticism about you. you strive to be perfect all the time, and your libra rising wants to constantly have a nice reputation. a scandal, or even simple haters, would probably be the end of you. you also have venus placed here, meaning that deep down, you actually crave affection from someone else. yet, you may be afraid, or perhaps too shy to approach a possible partner. but remember, the 12th house is also the house of secret talents! in fact, especially with your libra rising, you’re extremely likeable. you shouldn’t be afraid of not being liked back, for example. remember that your love life will get better with time, as you become more mature in that field. mars is also placed in this house; with this placement, I assume that you may struggle to take action. you may try to avoid conflicts at all costs, to the point that you could actually start victimizing yourself. you could struggle to accomplish your goals, you try to be productive but you may get lazy and procrastinate very often.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love you attract aries, cancer, gemini, sagittarius and libra placements. your future spouse will most likely have aquarius and gemini traits placements; they’ll be very similiar to you: bold and confident, but also with a warm heart and a hidden insecurity to them. you may meet them in a place near water, so maybe at the sea or near a lake. you may also meet them in a church, in a temple or any place related to spirituality. you could see them first in your dreams, or perhaps you're going to meet at a hospital or at the doctor's. also, your spouse will most likely be one of your soulmates, and hence once you meet them you’ll probably have this ‘I’ve already seen you before’ feeling. they’ll seem very familiar, and you’ll find emotional comfort in them. your children will have strong aquarius, possibly capricorn placements. they’ll be very dreamy, they’ll have big goals for their life, and they’ll also be extremely intelligent and creative as well.

👶🏻 family life

your father is probably a very caring person that knows how to stand up for himself when he has to, but he may struggle to do that. he’s very smart, caring and optimistic, even though he may be a bit childish at times. he could have cancer placements in his chart, possibly aries too. your mother, on the other hand, is a bit more serious and focused on work, but she always made sure you always had what you needed. she was probably the strict parent in the family, but she still has some sweetness and nice humor to her. also, she may have capricorn, aquarius, pisces or taurus placements in her chart. if you have siblings, they most likely have sagittarius, taurus, scorpio and / or libra placements in their chart. they could be foreign or skilled at foreign languages, and you may feel very at ease with them. you have an amazing bond with them, you’re able to both relax and have fun together, even though you may discuss often. you could have been very jealous of each other when you were kids, maybe.

📊 career

as I've already mentioned above, you're going to pursue a career that will allow you to interact with others. you would probably do amazing at a job that requires you to help people, you could make a great nurse or psychologist for instance. you may also work as a teacher of any kind, not necessarily a professor or school teacher. you may also become a chief or a boss in your job, since the ruler of your midheaven (career), the moon, is in the sign of aries, the leader sign. I definitely see you being successful in whatever you choose, you could become very independant and financially stable thanks to your job. possibly, you may also have a business with your future spouse. you could also work with children or for family, as a counselor for example. anything that allows you to interact with and help others would be great for you, as it would make you more empathetic and sensitive to the external world.

👕 fashion sense, style analysis

your sagittarius energy screams grunge! you probably love 90s/00s aesthetic, with fishnets, black, burgundy, belts, leather jackets... all of this stuff. also, oversized clothes are a must for you. you may especially be fond of wearing tight tops with baggy jeans or viceversa: tight pants, possibly leggins, with big, long sweatshirts and t-shirts. it's very comfortable, but you still make it look trendy and particular with your charisma. you may also love printed things, especially graphic t-shirts. for shoes, I'd say trendy sneakers and boots are a must in your wardrobe.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past existence, you were very in touch with your home, self, and probably marriage too. overall, your past life was very peaceful, especially when it comes to your family. this lifetime, though, you need to focus on letting the world know who you are. you have to build a reputation for your name and feel satisfied with your career, while still taking care of your family.

🤔 major transits analysis / april 4th

the sun is currently transiting in your aries 7th house, exactly conjunct your moon. you could be feeling very needy lately, perhaps even a bit emotional. you want to be with people, maybe with your loved ones, you feel like you need a lot of care and attention but at the same time you could be quite moody. you may get angry or disappointed easily, so beware of that. jupiter, on the other hand, is in your 5th house; you may be lacking discipline in these days, perhaps you tend to procrastinate as you feel quite tired and you have to relax. of course it's ok to take some time for yourself, but remember to be responsible as well; hard work pays off.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

the best way for you to manifest is idealizing and acting at the same time. you have both energies combined in your chart, which is great actually! I’d suggest you to first picture what you want in your life, and then do something concrete to manifest it. for example, let’s suppose you want this gucci bag; first, think about it deeply. then, you could try going into a gucci shop and just walk around, maybe even touch that bag. you’ll get results if you believe it! it’s also great to write and read/listen your own positive affirmations, such as 'I love my gucci bag’, 'the gucci bag my mom gave me is amazing’ and so on.

and this is the end! thank you again for booking a reading, let me know if it resonated :)

- libramc xx