#abdominal x-ray at home

[luminousbeings-crudematter]

Reaper! Ghost (Part 3 of ?)

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4

Life is strange when you’re falling in like with Death.

It takes you by surprise, and then horror when you recognise the signs.  And even the realisation comes to you slowly.  

You go for a walk around the hospital floor with a nurse, leaning on every available surface and then the nurse for support.  And unbeknownst to anyone but you, Death follows you, silent and vigilant.  His hands shoot out to steady you every time you falter, remnants of long-forgotten instincts resurfacing, but of course, he can’t touch you, and he won’t risk touching you even if he could.  

You hear him, though, his sharp inhale when you trip, and his sigh when the nurse supports you in time, stops you from falling over and hurting yourself.

When you’re brought back to your room for some rest, Simon hovers at the door before you motion him inside.  You only notice his tightly clenched fist and his shoulders that almost kiss his ears because he relaxes them as he enters. 

At some point, the nurse lets you walk by yourself a little, hovering a few steps behind you, and you walk past the x-ray department, past radiology, then pathology, and end up turning the corner, straight into the children’s ward.  You pause there, and when your nurse asks you if you’re alright, if you feel dizzy or uncomfortable in anyway, you reassure him that you’re okay, you just wanted to look.  When you glance over at the large glass window, into the room where the babies sleep, you see three.  Girls, judging by the pink ID tags by the ends of their little cribs.         

“Stay here, I’ll be right back,” your nurse says, squeezing your shoulder, giving you a minute.   

When the corridor is empty, you feel his presence before he even opens his mouth to speak.  “You want children?”

Your laugh is more scandalised at the abrupt, personal, completely inappropriate question than anything else.  But…were you going to explain the rules of societal propriety to the Grim Reaper?  You wouldn’t know where to begin. 

“I don’t know…I’ve never given it any serious thought.  I–I suppose?  At some point.  Maybe or maybe not.”

He nods, seemingly lost in thought again.  When he speaks, after a moment, his words seem measured, but his voice is raspy.  “With abdominal injuries like yours…women often worry about whether it affects their ability to have a child.  Have y-you—”

It shouldn’t take you by surprise.  It fucking shouldn’t.  He’s…old.  He knows and understands the ways of the universe better than anyone or anything—he is the way of the universe.  And this line of questioning is hardly rocket science (though he probably knew rocket science anyway).  Your own doctor had addressed it with you.  But it takes you by surprise anyway, and you attempt to cover it up by answering his question with one of your own. 

“You don’t find it sad?  You have to reap every soul ever born.”  You motion to the children beyond the glass with your chin.  “Even them, at some point.”

“S-sad?  I…I don’t remember what that feels like.”

You open your mouth to try to explain it to him, but you spot your nurse making his way back to you and that’s where the conversation ends.  You think that it may have been for the best.  Because how were you going to find the words to help him remember what sadness felt  like, explain a quintessential human experience to someone who had no need for it?  You didn’t think you’d have done a very good job of it at all. 

“I spoke to the doctor earlier this morning,” you tell Simon, a few days later.  “They’ll repeat my scans in forty eight hours, and if it’s all clear, they’ll send me home.”    

Simon nods.  He looks down at his feet and then back to you, seemingly unsure of what to say.  And…you understand.

Being in the hospital with you like this, it’s like you’re both in a bubble.  The memories of the accident are fresh, nightmares about it plague you, you can’t even hope to move on when everything reminds you of why you’re there in the first place.  But, in two days, you’ll move on from this place, go home, recover, resume the rest of your life.

There is a life for you outside of the stark and sterile environment you’re currently in, bright and vibrant and real.  There is nothing for Simon.

The thought bothers you more than you’re willing to admit.  You don’t know where you can go from here, or how, but you do know that you don’t want your connection to end.  

He’s Death, after all.  Omniscient.  Alpha and Omega and everything in between.  And you’re nothing to him, a speck in time and space.  A singular star in a universe.  Fragile, human, fallible, to his infinite.      

He nods again, seemingly in response to a thought he’s had, and when he speaks, he breaks your heart a little.  “I think…I think I feel sad.”

Life is strange when you’re falling in like with Death and He’s falling in like with you.  

[intosnarkness]

So my cat died today.

(tw:pet illness, death)

idk I might try and write the whole story later, but 15 years is a lot to try and boil down. (NB, I got him when he was 2, which you might have figured out because he was 17.)

But long story short, in February of 22 I was in Florida setting up an expo for work when the vet called me. Nat had taken the boys for a dental cleaning, and Peri lost like, a pound in a few weeks.

I was 900 miles away and could do nothing as they did scans and blood tests and I hid behind a shipping crate and cried.

They found a mass in his stomach and he's been on steroids since. We didn't know what it was, because I didn't want to do the exploratory on a cat his age. The vet agreed. I thought at the time that I had 3 months left. I got 18.

Recently Pman has had less appetite. This came to a head on Wednesday when I got home from work to feed the cats and he didn't come when I opened the can. He was also leaving more and more food uneaten.

I called the vet yesterday but it didn't feel emergent so when i got voicemail I gave up. Called again around 11 this morning and they asked me to bring him in ASAP. I had a Feeling then that today was going to end with a cremation.

Nat was headed home early from work because they're doing construction on his building and he was Done so I called and asked him to take Peri in. He agreed.

When he got to the house, Peri had found a bobbin for embroidery floss at some point between when I left at 7:45am and when he got home at 11:45am and eaten the thread off of it.

Nat called me and I just.. left. I just got up and left work and called the people I needed to call from the car to tell them I had a pet emergency and was leaving for the day. Nat and I met at the vet.

The issues came down to this:

When a cat eats string, your concern is it being in the intestine. If you pull on the string you can tear the intestine with the pressure. If you don't know how long it's been, you need to scope the cat or do exploratory surgery.

Our vet did not have anyone to scope the cat. They called every other vet in town, apparently. Time ticked by. They found one about 40 minutes away.

At this point it was close to 1:30. In the best scenario, it had been at least 2 hours since the thread entered his system. It would be another hour before we could get the scope in him. I kept saying to Nat, as we sat and waited, that there was no world where it wasn't in the intestine by the time we got him there. This is when I started to really fucking lose it.

If the string was in the intestine, they were going to have to do exploratory abdominal surgery on a 17-year-old cat to get it out. I remember what his recovery was like when he was 3 and did this. I was not sure it was fair to do that to a cat as old as him. I was pretty sure I had murdered my best friend with embroidery floss, which is going to be funny in retrospect but right now it isn't.

I know Peri has eaten string before. I remember the night he did it in the Laurel apartment like it was yesterday. I was usually vigilant about not leaving shit around for him to eat. The number of times I nagged Nat about spools of thread, or shoelaces, or twist ties. I looked at that bobbin yesterday and thought "I should put that away before Peri gets at it." I did not put it away. I was starting to convince myself that I killed my cat. That this whole thing was my fault. Poor Nat sitting next to me in this vet room. He is not an affectionate person. He does not touch. I doubt we have ever hugged. Here we are, and I'm holding my cat and crying. He mustered up all his courage and touched my shoulder. We stan one emotionally unavailable roommate.

As it turned out, it didn't matter. The x-ray revealed that the mass in his stomach had moved to his chest. His lungs were scalloped around the edges and there was fluid around his heart.

Nat and I both cried and killed an entire box of tissues. Peri let me hold him and he even gave us some moops. The vet told me to just keep talking. And the only thing I remember saying was that he had been such a good mommy to those ferals we fostered because he did such a good job of raising me, first.

So best boy, lover of Popsicle sticks, Wrong Tail haver, spottiest cat and cattiest spot, Peri Pants McGee, the Periman, Pman, Mr. Mooperman, and any other name I called him over the last 15 years was the best cat that most of you never got to meet.

His favorite thing in the world was when I put a blanket over my legs and then he laid on the blanket. He liked to lick my toes and ankles, which was the worst. He was a very good reason to stay alive on certain days when that didn't seem to be a priority. He was my best friend, and I love him.

[fannyrosie]

I've followed you for quite a while and I've always loved your style plus I lived vicariously through your life in Japan lol. I'm sorry if you've already posted this I couldn't find the post but I was wondering why you left Japan. It's my dream to live there one day and I was curious what it was like.

I have answered that in my Instagram Stories, but here is the long story version (TL;DR: I came back mainly because of my poor health):

I left Japan after 6 1/2 years for several reasons, but one the main reason is because of my health. I've never been the healthiest person, even before moving there (I was even dubbed "the sick one" at my old job because I often had to suddenly leave work in the afternoons). I was constantly tired and had really bad abdominal pains. I saw several doctors in Montreal, and all I managed to get was a diagnosis for IBS and anxiety. However, I was functional most days, and managed to work and live relatively normally, as long as I rested a lot and stuck to my FODMAP diet.

During the few first years of my life in Japan, my physical health remained that way, with some random very bad health periods, but overall, I was fine. I even started to workout regularly to improve my posture and muscles. However, from 2020 onwards, my health declined significantly. On top of my worsening IBS, I started having really bad spine pains, radiating to my head, chest and arms, and making me so tired I had to take several days of rest every time I went out. I started to catch every little virus I got in contact with, and had to avoid taking public transport the most I could. I was working from home, and walked a lot, so that was manageable, but it made me more isolated.

I saw several doctors, but even though they did blood tests and x-rays, they couldn't find anything and just assumed it was stress. After reading about EDS, I thought I might have that (since I am also hypermobile), and had to wait 7 months to get an appointment at Todai's hospital. However, on the day of my appointment, I got told that Todai only deals with EDS related to heart issues, and my tests were all normal, including my x-rays. That was in June 2022, and was the final straw, as it proved that even the most advanced hospital in Japan couldn't help me. By that time, I had to wear a back brace to do the most basic things, like laundry or going to the supermarket, and was taking painkillers every day. I had to stop working because I couldn't work on my computer for more than 2 hours a day. Obviously, no work=no money.

Coming back to Québec, I had to wait 3 months to get back on the public health system, and as of today (6 months after being back), I managed to get x-rays and MRI showing I have: discopathy (degenerative spine disk disease), osteoarthritis (degenerative joint disease), several herniated disks in my cervical region and pinched nerves due disks collapsing. Basically, I have the spine of a 70 year old. I have been referred to a physiatrist, but we all know that Québec's public health system is very slow. so God knows when I'll see one. Nevertheless, they found something, which is better than all the doctors in Japan who told me it was just stress. Japan sadly has a big culture of having to "endure" pain (mental or physical), and it shows in their medical system.

Due to the degenerative nature of the illnesses they found up to now, my health is constantly getting worse. I used to have good and bad health days, but now, I have more bad health days than good health days. I still take painkillers every day and wear my back brace to do normal tasks, but most days, these are not enough. I am trying to make the most of my "good" health days by dressing up and doing nice things, but I never know how I will be the next day (or hour).

I had to take two breaks writing this; hopefully it makes sense haha

[ussgallifrey]

Home for the Holidays | Part 2

✦ Summary: Never let it be said that you weren’t willing to do just about anything for your squadron. As you find yourself roped into an elaborate ruse to help fool Hangman’s mother for Christmas all seems to be going according to plan. But when that plan spirals out of control, the line between real and pretend begins to blur.

✦ Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Female Reader

✦ Warnings: Anxiety, fake dating, hurt/comfort, Jake’s family being fake and generally awful towards him, mentions of divorce, minor angst.

✦ Word Count: 9.6k

✦ Author’s Note: Did I envision People Magazine’s 2022 Sexiest Man Alive in the role of Jake’s older brother? Perhaps. Also, to the lovely @top-hhun​​ and @andrewrussgarfield​​, thank you for your constant Glen Powell spams - never stop <3

✦ Tags: @callsignbarb​

[Master List]

The moment you blearily pull yourself up from the pleasant hum of intermittent sleep, it takes you far longer than you'd like to admit to realize that you are no longer aboard the carrier. That the rattling of pipes and the pelting sound of rain is nothing more than your companion starting the shower in the adjacent room. 

Your eyes blink against the darkness, face snuggled into the too-soft pillow. Only the faintest ray of early morning light is visible through the black-out curtains.

It's late, about fifteen minutes past your usual wake-up time. With the glowing green digital alarm clock informing you that it's currently 8:16 am - make that over two hours local time past your usual wake-up.

But you and Seresin clearly were well-oiled military machines who had long passed the use of actual alarms to arise. It also meant that the man's shower would be short and to the point. So you pull yourself free from the tangle of sheets - stretching your arms out wide with a satisfying crack between your shoulder blades. You yank the sheets back in place, stifling a yawn as you brush the wrinkles out of the pillowcase. 

Sleeping in a real bed, with a mattress and sheets, would be considered a luxury by most. For you, however, sleep had been a distant dream last night. Between the usual lullaby of the constant thrum of the flight deck and the ship itself, you were unaccustomed to the stock silence of a hotel room. 

You distantly wondered if your roommate had fared any better.

Rounding the bed, you draw aside the curtains. The city of Austin is bathed in a muddied gray and purple this time of day. Dark clouds on the horizon are the harbinger of rain.

You had meant to ask him what the dress code was for the day, having thrown in a few viable outfits for the occasion - and your own family's get-together in two days, obviously. After hefting your bag onto the bed, you pull them out, unrolling the shirts in a nice even row on the remade bed.

The shower shuts off, the metal rings of the curtain scraping against the rod. A minute later, Hangman emerges in a puff of steam, a towel wrapped around his waist that he currently holds in a death grip with his right hand.

He sputters, using his free hand to push his wet hair away from his face.

You stare at him for a long, silent moment. Trying your best not to focus on the water currently soaking the carpet beneath his bare feet or the roll of droplets down his prominently toned abdominals. He seems equally frozen near the bathroom door.

Straightening out the shirt in your hands, you let your brows raise marginally as you ask a clipped, “Yes?”

He blinks, seemingly remembering himself, “Forgot my damn pants.”

“That jet lag really took a toll on you, huh?” you scoff, turning back to the task at hand as he pads across the floor to retrieve his bag. “What are you wearing for this, by the way?”

He hurries back into the bathroom and you hear the sound of clothes hitting the tile floor.

“Slacks and a shirt, why?”

You shrug, even though he can't see it, “Trying to figure out what to wear. I didn't exactly pack an evening gown.”

“Sure whatever you come up with - ” he pauses for a moment. There’s a clinking of what you believe to be a belt buckle and then he lets out a soft grunt, “ - will be fine.”

Looking over your shoulder at the golden glow spilling out of the bathroom, the faint shadow of Jake on the floor, “You're not instilling a lot of confidence right now, you know that right?”

There's a beat of silence before he pokes his head straight out of the door, “Didn't realize I needed to boost your ego any further there, Pits.”

You chuck the first shirt within reach at his head at the use of that awful nickname, but he easily avoids it. Grinning as he reemerges, straightening out his Henley and picking a loose piece of fuzz off the sleeve. He swoops down to grab your thrown shirt at least, offering it back to you with a soft chuckle.

“Why, what d'ya got?” he asks, a softer tone to go with the playful gleam in his eyes as he makes his way to you, peering at the layout over your shoulder.

“I don't know, sweetheart. I just wanna make a good impression,” your voice is sickeningly sweet, almost sing-song.

Hangman scrunches up his nose at the over-the-top act, his hands fixed on his hips.

“You're the first person I've brought home in over a decade. Unless you insult her cooking or the state of Texas, you should be fine.”

Glancing back at him, you're surprised to see him standing that close to you. You push a hand at his chest to reset the bubble of personal space you were usually afforded. He allows you to move him, though he's basically a living, breathing granite statute with a seemingly permanent shit-eating grin fixed on his face.

His eyes glint in amusement before he finally settles on, “Lose the jeans for this one and pick something that's not this color - ” he tugs at his own burnt umber-colored sweater, “I don't wanna make her think we're that kind of couple.”

“What? You don't want to color coordinate with your girl-friend?”

He grunts in lieu of actual words.

You turn up the shrillness of your voice, “So, I guess that's a no on the matching Christmas pajamas?”

He gives a soft chuckle, running his hand through his still damp hair. And then he's out of your way, snagging up his boots from the closet and sitting down on the edge of the bed to lace them up.

You think you have an outfit in mind now, as you gently pull it to the side and begin rolling the other options back up.

“What time do we need to head out again?”

He drops his hands on his knees with a heavy pat, “Probably close to 13:00?”

You nod in understanding - that would be plenty of time - as he situates himself more comfortably on the bed. Your hand pauses on the bathroom doorway as you watch Hangman pull out his phone and seemingly settle in.

“What, you're not gonna run down to the complimentary breakfast spread?”

His eyes pull away from the screen for a moment to meet your gaze, “Well, not without you. Be fairly rude of me, sweetheart.”

You sigh with realization - he had said practice makes perfect - as you lean against the doorway, “And so it begins.”

Jake laughs, waving you on dismissively, “Hurry your ass up, Pita. I can only be patient for so long.”

Raising the bird in return, you call out from the bathroom, “Better not've used up all the hot water, Bagman.”

“Beat me to the shower next time, sleeping beauty,” he hollers back.

With an amused shake of your head, you close the door and start up the water - relieved to find it to be a perfect scalding temperature. Jake had left the bathroom immaculate, of course. With only a singular used towel hanging on the back of the door to indicate that he had been in there at all.

You step into the tub and let the hot water engulf you as you try to mentally prepare yourself for the day ahead.

Jake slides into the chair across from you at the hotel’s dining area, his plate heaped with the typical continental breakfast servings: pancakes and scrambled eggs, strips of bacon, and a rogue apple that you wonder if he has any actual intention of eating. 

Your own plate reflects the nerves that were surprisingly wracking your system. Plain oatmeal with just a drizzle of honey on top and a white mug of bitter-smelling coffee. 

It was a bit ridiculous, you realize, to feel the way you were. 

You had done this act before - but never on this scale, your mind supplements. And you had agreed to come along for this, of course. But now that you were only a few hours out from go-time, you were genuinely starting to feel like the typical partner would when meeting the parents for the first time.

With only the barest tingling of guilt starting to ease its way in too.

Only a few other patrons are currently dining with the two of you - fairly spread out too. The mounted flatscreen has the Weather Channel playing at a sort of unreasonably loud volume; probably for the benefit of the older couples who were up earlier in the morning.

There's strands of looped garland with twinkling lights throughout the sparsely-decorated room. The little snowmen and thin Christmas trees on the counter are a reminder of the jolly season. Even some of the hotel staff at the front desk had Santa hats on. 

But right now, you were feeling just about anything but the pleasant thrum of yuletide cheer.

After stirring your bowl for another long minute without so much as lifting the utensil up to actually eat anything, you finally let the spoon settle to the side as you eye your companion.

“Okay, Seresin,” you sigh, “Play it out for me again.”

He lets a slow smirk grace his lips as he finishes off the last of his bacon.

“Nerves, Pita?” he mocks, wiping his hands clean on a napkin.

You avoid his gaze as you take a sip of your cooling brew, “Just trying to sell this act.”

He has to bite his lip to keep from outright laughing at the obvious lie, “Right, right. Well, let’s see. We scoot out of here at 12:30, avoid the major roads and show up a few minutes early to contemplate our existence - ” 

His eyes gleam as you snort into your drink.

“My momma flits and fawns over us on the doorstep. She’ll wanna show you around the place, but don’t touch anything. Just compliment her stylistic design choices for a bit. Then food and pleasant small talk. Followed by us trying - and probably failing - to get out of there before nightfall.”

With an accompanying nod, “Sounds easy enough.”

He grins, going back in for his eggs, “Should be a breeze if you use that sweet I just love my boyfriend Jake so damn much charm.”

You scoff, nearly choking on your oatmeal.

He grimaces, “Really selling it, Pits.”

Coughing into your arm, you manage out a gruff, “Fuck off, Hangman.”

He turns his head, waiting for your throat to clear up, slowly working away at his own meal.

“Hmm, okay. You only mentioned your mom. What about your brother…s…?”

There’s a downturn of his lips as his eyes meet yours - annoyed that you had apparently forgotten. As though you weren't constantly bombarded by the stories of thirty-seven other people's families over the course of your deployment.

“Brothers. As in two of them, and a sister 's well. But it’s just gonna be you and me today.”

Before you can stop yourself from prying, you ask a very pointed, “Why?”

Hangman pauses mid-bite. Leaning back in his chair, his spoon clattering to his plate, he stares at your face for a long silent moment. You almost think he’s going to ignore it entirely, but after a full minute, he finally offers up the semblance of an answer.

“I’m the youngest of the bunch. They were out of the house by the time everything with the divorce happened. We all remember things… differently,” he lets out a sigh, settling forward with his arms on the table. “The three of them get on with my old man, me with my momma. Simple as that.”

Not having a proper reply to that, you merely nod, “Okay.”

He waves his hand, as if clearing the air itself of the moment, “Makes our job a hell of a lot easier, that’s for sure.”

You don't ask anything too deep after that, just reassuring the finite details of the visit. He at least helps settle your nerves down to a reasonable level where you don't feel like you're vibrating out of your own skin. And then you're finishing up your breakfast at last and Hangman's collecting your dishes into a careful stack on the table.

Back in the room, the two of you set about relaxing and preparing in your own way. Your companion, for his part, seems too strung now to do much more than doomscroll through his phone from the edge of the bed. You can’t entirely blame him as the minutes tick by and the reality truly sinks in.

Fooling an interested girl or a pushy guy every once in a blue moon was one thing. But putting on the act, for more than an hour, for one of your parents, while sober, well… that was the biggest form of uncharted territory there was.

You try to hype yourself up in the bathroom mirror as you apply some makeup.

Unfortunately, your typical day-to-day life didn’t involve this level of self-care, and you almost regretted bringing it along to begin with, but you were trying to play a certain role. So, you monkey with the blender sponge and hope to god the foundation in your bag matches your actual skin tone.

I agreed to do this.

As strange as it seems, it’s really for his benefit in the long run.

It’s just a few hours of this and then we’re done.

Though you try to remind yourself of the facts - the basic parameters of this strange mission the two of you were on - your own mind seems to want to play against you with every turn of positivity.

No one will buy the act.

You’re fooling an innocent woman.

This is crossing some serious moral boundaries.

And while the rest of your squadron was off enjoying the first real day of their short leave, you were about to do this. You could be back home, taking it slow and easy with the people who mattered; the people who loved you. Instead, you were trying to look like a presentable girlfriend for your wingman.

You’re grateful that your stealth companion waits for you to finish the final coat of mascara before he gives a low whistle from the open doorway. It’s also a good thing that your reflexes are as steady as they are because you have to suppress the startled jump your body wants to take, gripping the counter and uttering a dammit, Seresin instead.

Offering him a tight grimace as you pack away your supplies, Jake steps forward - uncrossing his arms - until he’s standing just behind you.

“You clean up good, Pits.”

If you didn’t think your mascara would smear, you probably would have rolled your eyes. Instead, you meet his gaze in the reflection of the mirror. The two of you looked good together. In fact, if you were an unsuspecting passerby, you could almost say you looked like a typical couple.

“You say that to all the girls, Jake.”

“Ooh,” he recoils, smiling wide. “That’s honestly weird.”

Brushing past him to get back to your bag in the main room, you ask over your shoulder, “What, me calling you by your real name?”

“Yes!”

You just shake your head, sitting down on your bed to zip your makeup kit back into your travel bag, and fix him with a long look.

“Well, that’s what you wanted me to do, right?”

He seems conflicted, challenged by the situation in a way he can’t quite gain control of as he twists the watch on his wrist over and over again.

“So used to you calling me Hangman,” the smile he shoots your way is soft and genuine, “But I can’t exactly have you doing that in front of my momma, now can I?”

You shrug in understanding, settling your arms on your knees as you seem to contemplate your options, “I guess I could pull out one of those cute little pet names you love so much?”

Mulling it over for a second, he ultimately nods, returning to pacing a small circle in front of the dresser.

“Nothing too… gooey, for my sake, please. I won’t be able to keep a straight face.”

Crossing your heart and holding up your hand like you were swearing an oath, “I’ll keep it simple for your poor conservative heart, promise.”

Hangman grins, going to grab his phone off the charger, “You’re a saint, Pita.”

Giving a half-hearted thumbs up for him, you go searching through the inner pocket of your bag for the small metal case you had brought along from home. Flicking open the switch lock, you pull out the small gold chain. Having to dip your chin down to lay the necklace around your neck and work the clasp into place.

Only when you lift your head back up do you notice your companion’s very pointed gaze. Almost self-consciously, you grab hold of the golden heart dangling from the chain - resting just above your sternum.

“Thought it’d be a good touch,” you mumble, dropping your hands to your lap once again.

When you do meet his eyes, his gaze is easy and his lips are quirked into a playful smirk, “What, did I buy that for you?”

Glancing down at the chain once more, you merely lift your hands in a vague if that’s what you want kind of gesture.

“Well, all right then,” he grins.

In truth, it had been a gift from your parents before you left for the Academy. A familiar reminder of the family you had waiting for you across the country and, eventually, across the ocean. 

But, for today only, it could serve as the supposed token of loving affection from your fake boyfriend.

Anything to sell the act, right?

The rental car comes to a stop in the driveway. Jake’s knuckles are nearly paper white from where they’re gripping the steering wheel.

You don’t want to say anything, for fear of making the situation worse. 

While things had been fine leading up to leaving the room, everything seemed to change the moment you were actually sitting in the car. The entire ride had been traveled in near silence with the tension so palpable it was almost strangulating. At one point, three stop signs back, he had made the fraught suggestion of just turning around and going back to the hotel. 

But here you were.

In the cookie-cutter model home neighborhood of peak upper-class Austin suburbia. 

The house you’re parked outside of is practically identical to every other one on the street. A newer two-story, gray-sided building with white windows and doors, black accents, and fake-stone columns. The only difference seems to be that the main walkway is lined with two perfect rows of immaculate pink begonia flowers.

You glance back over at Hangman and find that he’s not moved from his position of looking like he’s seconds from reversing the car and driving all the way back to Lemoore.

“So…” your voice is disturbingly loud in the cabin of the car and you wince at the unintentional volume, “Are we doing this?”

He grips the wheel tighter, breathing out through his nose. 

Raindrops lazily make their journey down the windshield. While the weather had offered you nothing more than a late-season drizzle, the real storm seems to be brewing in the driver’s seat next to you. The air tenses for a final assault, the formation of thunder clouds before the initial clap of lightning.

“Yeah,” he grits out through a drawn breath, “Fuck it.”

Jake pulls the keys from the ignition and props open his door, urging you to do the same. You wait for him, dutifully, as he rounds the front of the rental car before the two of you head up the path to the house.

It feels a lot less like a companionable holiday visit and much more like the final walk up to the executioner’s block. Even the ornate blow-mold snowman on the front stoop does nothing to change the mood.

When faced with the white and gold ribboned wreath on the front door, he pauses, angling his head down toward your ear to say, “I owe you so much.”

You crane your neck to meet his eyes, his face is so close to your own that the scent of his aftershave lingers in your senses.

“Thank me when it’s over.”

With a curt nod, he reaches out to knock three times on the door before recoiling his hand and immediately placing it on your lower back. You’re barely able to force a smile onto your face before the door is opening up.

It almost begs to question just how long she had been standing on the other side, waiting for that signaling knock.

“Oh! Look at you.”

Patricia Seresin is a thin-faced woman with honey-colored eyes and sharp dimples, much like her son’s. Her hair is more of the boxed-dyed blonde variety than natural and her tanned complexion stands out against the collar of her white turtleneck. 

She spreads her arms wide open, almost as though going in for a hug, her hands coming so close to touching both yours and Jake’s faces before ultimately stopping a good inch short. Her lips form a tight smile as she brings her hands back close to her chest, gripped tightly together.

“Hi, Momma,” he smiles from beside you, his fingers digging in further against your back. “This is - ”

Jake introduces you by rank and name, though you’re a little more distracted by the rogue Yorkie in a miniature Christmas sweater that comes barrelling through the doorway to yap at you.

Patty swoops the pup into her arms, flicking it on the nose, “That’s downright rude and you know it.”

Hangman coughs into his fist as the tiny dog begins to snarl at the two of you.

You quickly step forward, “It’s nice to finally meet you!”

Her eyes light up, clearly delighted, “Well, it was a bit of a shock to me, dear. He talks about you often enough that I thought something might be going on but I never expected - oh, gosh. Look at me! Come in, come in!”

She moves ahead into the foyer while you glance back at Hangman who gives you an approving nod. So far, so good.

As the two of you kick off your shoes and boots, he says, “Momma, I didn’t think that thing was still kicking after all this time.”

“Jacob Daniel!”

You snort at the use of his full name and he merely smirks at you.

“Peppi has been in this family for fourteen years now, he’s far from death’s door, thank you very much.”

While the dog in question has seemingly had his fill of you both, his tiny little nails clacking against the wood-grain linoleum, Patty watches the two of you from just across the entryway.

“Where were you two staying again?”

“The, uh, Hilton. On Burnet,” Jake carefully places your boots next to his on the designated rug by the door. All the shoes are in a perfect line, actually - without so much as a speck or scuff on them.

She hums, glancing over at the large black ornate clock on the wall that reads just five minutes after the hour. Her eyes appraise the two of you for another second before she heads into the kitchen.

“I have two perfectly good guest rooms, Jacob. You know that. I would have been more than happy to have you and your beautiful girlfriend spend the night here.”

While you mouth the word beautiful at him in a moment of surprise, he just sighs and throws a forlorn look your way. The two of you follow after her into the kitchen at the rear of the house.

“I know that, Momma.”

You can’t help but stare at the bare gray walls, the few metallic gold pieces of decor on the entry table, a single glass Christmas tree mold on the island counter. You were almost afraid to breathe, let alone touch anything of hers. It was just so minimalistic.

Grabbing hold of Jake’s arm instead, with both of your hands, you smile, “I think what Jake means to say is that he didn’t want to intrude. We’re both still stuck on ship time right now.”

She pauses what she’s doing near the stove, turning back to properly look at you. It takes a second but she smiles and nods.

“I don’t know how you put up with it,” she laughs, incredulous, “He was such an awful guest whenever he came back home. If he bothered to come back at all.”

“Momma,” he sighs, all too good-naturedly.

But the last part had been said so abruptly, so coolly, that you barely have the chance to school your features. Even though he seems to deflect the comment with a roll of his eyes and a can you believe this jokester sort of attitude. 

Jake merely squeezes your arm and walks across the room to his mother’s side, with a hey, anything I can help with, while you’re still trying to process the words.

As a naval officer, you prided yourself in maintaining a certain composure under pressure. From day one at the Academy, you knew what the expectations were when it came to inspections and standing at stock-still attention. Upperclassmen screaming instructions in your face during Plebe Summer had you trained to be as cool as a cucumber. Infallible.

But right now, for the first time since that initial intake day, you were genuinely struggling. And it wasn’t even your family, let alone your drama. Hell, it was barely even one comment of ill contempt. And yet…

Remember the act, you remind yourself. Schooling it in, forcing that oblivious and sweet smile to grace your lips once again as you move to join Jake and his mother.

Each stovetop burner is in use, with different pots of food steaming away. It all smells delicious, of course - a classic holiday spread. The counter along the window is covered in foil-wrapped platters and serving trays. From the looks of it, it's far more food than what three people and a senior dog could possibly eat.

She bats his hand away from one of the pans with her wooden spoon, a warm smile on his face as he leans down to kiss the top of her head.

“It’s good to see you outside of those grainy video calls,” she admits, turning around to wipe her hands on an ornate dish towel. “Now, this’ll just take another hour to finish up, so what can I get you in the meantime?”

While Jake seems more than comfortable going straight to the fridge in search of his own drink, you glance down at the array of trays on the island - already uncovered and waiting. There’s so much food.

“Oh, honey, please grab a plate and help yourself. Those deviled eggs are my specialty!”

Jake’s suddenly at your side, “She’s gonna have to pass on those, Momma. Thought I told you?”

Patricia scrunches her brows as you try to ease your way out of your fake boyfriend’s grasp to get a plate for yourself, “It’s okay, really.”

He sidesteps you again, leveling you with a playfully stern expression.

“Baby.”

The way he drawls out the pet name is such a good touch, you almost want to high-five him for it. 

“We don’t need you sick in the bathroom before the main course even comes out.”

You’re a little surprised that he remembered your egg intolerance. Not that it was a closely guarded secret or anything. But yeah, probably a good call on his part. Considering there was a rather large tray of them too.

“Oh,” she sighs, a hand to her chest, “Honestly, would one little egg really do that much damage, Jacob? See - ” she reaches out to guide you along the island, “Just about everyone uses paprika in their recipe. But me? I use chipotle. You taste this and tell me it’s not the best deviled egg you’ve ever had.”

Suddenly faced with the aforementioned appetizer, you gulp down a reflexive gag and try to smile a polite apology.

“Nope, not happening - ” Jake immediately swipes the morsel from his mother’s hand and shoves it into his own mouth.

Patricia, for her part, seems to give up the argument after glancing over at you. Instead, eyeing her son with a tired sort of look that spoke of dealing with several years of similar antics growing up.

“Honestly, Jacob.”

He just grins, licking his fingers clean.

“Just looking out for my girl, Momma.”

Your heart does swell a little bit at that. He was selling this part so well. You would have to up your own game to match his level - just like when you were flying together. There was a reason Manning always paired you two up for training: you were always pushing each other to do better.

“Sorry, they do look delicious,” you lightly schmooze, moving to wrap your hand around his left arm, leaning your head just slightly so towards his shoulder.

She sighs reluctantly, “Well, if they would be that much of an inconvenience to you…” with another shake of her head, she moves back to the stove, “Jacob, why don't you show her around while I finish this up?”

After nabbing another egg for himself, he gives a little nod and gestures with his chin further into the room. Feeling bold, you drag your hand down his arm until you’re able to clasp your palm with his. His soft green eyes gleam as he tugs you along into the adjoining seating area.

“So,” you keep your voice low, “I’m guessing this isn’t where you grew up?”

Jake glances down at you, “Uh, yeah. She got this place right after they, you know - ” he makes a general slashing motion with his right hand.

“Well, it’s very pretty,” you say, a little louder for her hopeful benefit.

He seems to disagree, stopping in front of the corner fireplace where a light draping of sparkly white garland rests.

“It’s plain and sterile, I'll give it that.”

While you didn’t necessarily disagree with his sentiment, you certainly wouldn’t say it out loud.

There’s three picture frames on the mantle. A black and white portrait of two blonde boys holding a baby wrapped in a blanket. The middle frame holds another baby, a newborn photoshoot from the looks of it - also in black and white. And on the far side is an outdoor shot of three little blonde girls and a boy, also in a monochromatic scale.

“Are these the - ”

“Grandkids,” he nods.

You let out a low whistle, “Could probably form a baseball team in a few years.”

That makes him laugh, slipping his hand from yours to rub at his chin.

“God, I think we’re missing one in here,” he squints at the picture on the far right, “Yeah, yeah. This was before June was born - my niece. Sister’s youngest.”

He lets out a soft hum as he stares at the frames for another moment more - almost like he was preparing to comment further on it. But then he finally jerks his head towards the front of the house.

“Come on, I’ll give you the grand tour.”

As he leads you toward the dining room, you glance back to see Patricia watching the two of you with an unreadable kind of expression on her face. You can only hope that you’re selling the act as well as you thought you were.

In the privacy of the adjoining room, he admitted that he thought the two of you were being pretty convincing. Promising that you just had to make it through dinner and then you would be in the home stretch.

You ended up back in the kitchen, not that long after the short tour of the downstairs area. Hovering next to the island counter, not willing to touch it after you spotted Patty with a bottle of disinfectant shortly after you returned. If Jake’s earlier words hadn’t given it away, then the bare-bones and precision-made state of her home made it pretty apparent that the woman was very much concerned with cleanliness.

In truth though, it doesn’t take long at all for her to finish the final touches of prep. With the two of you helping to at least bring the food to the table - though she ultimately directs where everything is put down and how it’s placed. But, you figure she made all of this food so she deserves to have it done her way.

The long dining table is set for three, though it’s obvious the space was made for a much larger crowd. Gentle instrumental Christmas covers play from a CD player in the corner of the room. Jake makes easy enough conversation with her at first. Asking after her gardening and her weekly aerobics class.

But, fairly soon, the conversation turns over to you.

“So, do you have one of those pilot nicknames too?”

“Callsign, Momma,” Jake sighs with a gentle smile, shaking his head like it was a common mistake he dealt with.

You grab a second piece of cornbread from the plate in front of you. Almost sheepish to explain it out loud to someone outside of your squadron, “Uh, yeah. They call me Pita.”

She pauses, her fork halfway to her mouth as she glances from you to Jake.

“You’re- you’re not one of those vegetarian types, are you, dear?”

“Uhm - ” you balk, looking towards your wingman.

“Ma - ” Jake runs his hand down his jaw, “P-I-T-A, like the bread. Not the animal rights group.”

She gulps, then smiles - a little uneasily - “Well, all right then.”

“It’s, uhm, it’s an acronym, actually,” you smile awkwardly gently pulling apart the roll, “It’s not because I just really love pita pockets or anything.”

The moment it leaves your mouth though, you realize you might have made a grave mistake after looking over at Jake. It wasn’t, exactly, the most appropriate of words. And maybe, based on how sweet bless your heart southern Patricia was, you should have known better.

You watch the way that his Adam’s apple bobs for a moment before he reaches over to squeeze your hand on the table.

“Yeah, it stands for Pretty Terrific in the Air. Can you believe that?”

You’re fast to nod in agreement - like he didn’t just pull that out of nowhere. But, to be fair, he did know the woman better than you and probably knew what she could reasonably handle. 

He kicks your foot under the table.

“Oh, now that is sweet,” she fawns, “I know this boy here was given his little nickname because he’s just so good at that hangman game.”

Your brows raise in surprise because that was definitely not why he was given that callsign. You thump his foot with your own and he immediately traps the toe of your sock with his own, shooting you a pointed don’t you dare look. 

“Yup, that’s it, Momma.”

You have to bite down on your tongue to keep from smiling too wide. Man, if only the rest of the squadron could hear this crap. They would have a fucking field day with Ms. Pretty Terrific in the Air and the apparent reigning kids' word-game champion.

Another minute passes as you work at the food on your plate. It was good, pretty filling, very heavy on the butter content, and definitely not as good as the stuff your own family made - not that you would ever say that to your hostess, of course.

“Mmm,” she sets her water glass back down on its designated coaster. “So, are you two going up to see your family too?”

Ah, this was one moment the two of you had discussed, luckily.

“Yup,” Jake grins. “We head out Wednesday. Figure we’ll have an extra night here to recover from all the traveling.”

In actuality, you were both going to the airport on Wednesday. With you traveling to Detroit Metro and Jake heading off to Fresno once again. While you would be spending the last few days of your leave in the company of your own family, he had plans to relax and unwind back in California.

But she certainly didn’t need to know that.

Patricia nods, “And where is home again? Jacob didn’t mention, I don’t believe.”

The man in question seems very focused on his plate, refusing to meet your eyes. 

While some of the squadron were vocal about home, or it was apparent in their regional accents and - in Jake’s case - his football team of choice. The topic of home more often than not was focused on the family and people you left behind. And, much like how you hadn’t been able to recall the number of siblings he had, you doubt Hangman had been able to remember that little tidbit about you.

“Michigan.”

“Oh, quite a ways up there then!” she exclaims with a laugh. But then she places her cutlery down on the sides of her plate and fixes you with a focused stare. “And what exactly do your parents do, dear?”

Swallowing the food in your mouth before responding, feeling a little bit like you were on the receiving end of a subtle interrogation.

“They, uh, they own a bed and breakfast. That’s where we’ll be staying actually,” you glance over at your companion, “They always decorate it so pretty this time of year too. Though I just love your decor here, it's really quite beautiful, Patty.”

She holds a hand to her heart, “Why, thank you! No one quite knows the amount of work that goes into making this house look the way it does.”

And then she’s off on another tangent about the places she shops and the amount that every little thing costs. Jake seems very resigned from the conversation at that point, tiredly glancing out the front window, while you try to appear interested and excited at her words.

It’s only when she teasingly chastises you for not taking a second helping of her famous mashed potatoes, that things take a rather interesting turn.

“What the - ” Jake murmurs around a mouthful of turkey.

He wipes his lips clean with the white cloth napkin and cranes his head towards the window at the end of the table, nearly leaning into the contents of his plate.

“Uh, Ma. Were you expecting company?”

One glance over at her and you can see the obvious brewing of excited anticipation, like a kid trying to hide the gift they made for their parents for Christmas.

A sudden rush of dread hits you, seeping into your stomach and turning the otherwise delicious meal into a sloshing upheaval of disagreeable mush. Patricia stands up, not even bothering to fold her napkin as she strides out of the room on near-tiptoe.

“Momma?” Jake calls after her, sending you a distressed look as he rises to follow after her.

“What do you think - ” you go to ask.

He just shakes his head, halfway out of the room, “Don’t know.”

Since you didn’t want to be the last one out of the loop, you’re quick to follow after the two of them. Rounding the hallway just as the front door opens and a happy scream from your hostess rings out.

“Oh! Look at you! My handsome boy.”

You’re just a step behind Jake. He’s sagged against the wall - holding his arm out to stop you from moving any further.

“Shit,” he mutters, stress and agitation vibrating off of him as he runs a hasty hand through his hair.

The object of his frustration comes into view the moment Patty shuts the door, guiding the man into the foyer with a proud sort of look on her face.

Your stomach drops. Quickly looking towards Jake for support in the matter but he’s already long gone as he clenches the hand blocking your path, dropping it to his side.

“Hey, Jackie,” the man grins, his dimples eerily similar to the two other blondes in the room.

Straightening his back, Jake gestures from you to the other man, “Honey. Meet my brother. Josh.”

It wouldn’t take a forensic investigator to notice the obvious tension between Jake and his older brother. As he grips his cutlery with newfound aggression, barely speaking with more than single-word answers.

The man - Joshua, but call me Josh - is very obviously a Seresin child. 

He’s got the signature dimples, of course. But he’s taller than your date, by about five or six inches. His hair is a shade darker too, speckled with bits of gray and amber - and with a well-groomed beard to match. He’s got the playful gleam in his eyes that Hangman often has, but his are of an ocean blue variety - not the familiar meadow green you were used to seeing.

And he seems far more comfortable in the environment than the two of you. Sitting next to Patricia, directly across from his younger brother. Piling a plate high with food.

“So, you got yourself a girl? Didn’t mention that the last time we talked,” he smirks, biting into a roll.

“Nope,” comes the clipped reply.

You grip your own fork tighter, nervously glancing between the two of them. It makes you wonder just how long it had been since these two had last spoken. Half a year, if not more, would be your guess.

Josh chuckles, looking over at you instead.

“And you are the poor unfortunate person who has to share a room with this guy? My condolences.”

You force out a small laugh, though every instinct makes you want to chuck your water in the guy’s face.

“I assure you, compared to some of the people I’ve had to share berthing with, this man is the best roommate anyone could ask for.”

Green eyes meet yours and you carefully squeeze his hand. You could get through this - the two of you. Just grin and bear this unexpected encounter and make an early excuse to leave. You’d certainly faced far worse situations than this before.

The older Seresin brother huffs in consideration, leaning back in his chair as he starts to work into the rest of his meal.

“So,” Patricia’s voice is an octave too high, having keenly noticed the shift in conversation, “How’s my grandson?”

He smiles, digging into his pants pocket for a moment to retrieve his phone, “Getting into trouble. Kid’s climbing just about everything now.”

Patty coos as he hands the phone over to her, clearly looking at a picture of the boy in question, “He’s got your nose, Joshy. Gosh, what a looker. How’s Angie holding up?”

With a shrug, he takes the phone and passes it over to Jake who merely stares at it with an unreadable expression.

“Eight months last week, she’s about as big as a balloon now and barely gets off the couch - says her feet are swelling up.”

Jake pushes the phone along to you and you glance down at the picture of the, admittedly, cute-looking baby. With wisps of blonde hair and rosy cheeks. Your companion snorts, indignantly.

“You left your pregnant wife at home, alone, with a baby?”

Looking up from the phone, you turn to see the seething look on Jake's face.

Josh waves dismissively, “Yeah, she can’t fly now. And like hell I’m bringing DJ along on his own - sorry, Ma. The kid’s a handful right now. Figured everyone will come over to Houston after this one’s born anyway. Give the girl a break from the usual rodeo show of a family Christmas.”

“A break?” Jake shakes his head, gritting his teeth with a hollow laugh, "I'm sure trying to wrangle your kid all day long is what she considers a break."

"Jacob -"

"Nah, it's okay, Momma," Josh had an almost wolfish grin as he holds out a hand to seemingly settle her. 

"This one wouldn't know anything about that life. I mean, this is the first time since, what - high school - that he's had someone around? No offense, Jackie."

Jake, for his extreme benefit, forces a tight grin - something far more similar to Hangman than anything you had seen yet today.

"And yet…"

The slamming of silverware on porcelain makes you startle, eyes widening as you stare at the stern-looking matriarch.

“Jacob,” she nearly hisses, “This was a perfectly lovely meal up until five minutes ago. Could you put aside your unnecessary opinions for the sake of not only Christmas but for the sake of your girlfriend? Who, in case you failed to notice, is probably receiving an absolutely terrible impression of us right now.”

“I don’t - ” you try to soften the blow.

Hangman clenches his jaw, rolling his neck - the tension falling to his shoulders and back. Snatching his half-empty glass from the table, he rises and all but stalks out of the room.

You stare after his retreating form for a moment, compelled to follow after him but also equally frozen by the situation.

And then a low whistle from just across the table rings out.

Glancing over at the older Seresin brother, you meet his clearly amused eyes.

“See? He’s still throwing fits after all this time. Maybe that’s why they haven’t promoted him yet.”

“Honestly, Joshua,” Patty sighs, carefully resuming her meal with dainty bites.

If you weren’t more concerned with your friend’s image today, perhaps you would have said something. Not held back your punches. But you were still in the middle of the chess game, even if there was an unexpected player on the board. So, with all the decorum you can manage, you grab your own glass and slide out of your chair.

“I’m gonna go check on him.”

Just out of earshot and out of sight from the dining room, you find your wingman stock still in the middle of the kitchen, staring out the back window.

You clear your throat, knowing better than to startle him. His shoulders immediately sag as you come up alongside him.

“We good? Jake?”

It takes a second, but his soft green eyes meet yours.

“I’m sorry for draggin’ you into this whole thing, Pita.”

With a smirk and a slight shake of your head, you slap his arm gently.

“You think I give a damn about your hotshot brother over there? Please, we eat guys like him for breakfast and you know it.”

You’re grateful that the stupid line manages to make him chuckle, dropping his head down before he meets your gaze again.

“Still, didn’t exactly prepare you for this.”

“Eh,” you shrug. “What’s one more family member? And hey, I can fake a migraine or something and get us out of here before she brings out the desserts, you know?”

Jake sighs, wrapping his arm around your shoulders - tucking your head in just below his chin, “You’re a fucking saint, Pits.”

You smile into the fabric of his sweater, hands finding purchase on his waist, “And don’t you forget it when we’re back on base, Seresin.”

The faintest touch of his lips on the top of your head makes you flush with warmth, but the moment quickly dissipates when you hear a teasing awww from the other side of the room.

The two of you turn - Jake’s arm still around your shoulders - only to find Josh, with his phone in hand.

“I’m sorry,” he smiles. “I know I came in a little hot back there. But this right here?” he points at the two of you, “That was too sweet. And Jess was begging me for proof anyway.”

Jake clears his throat, his hand tightening from where it rests on your bicep.

“What?”

Josh’s brow bunches together for a moment as he begins to walk towards the two of you.

“Well, I mean the fact that you actually are dating - bringing someone home, I might add. That’s kind of big news, buddy. Jess didn’t believe me at first. So, I sent her this and - ”

He holds up his phone and turns the screen to face you. You’re met with the image of Jake’s face on the top of your head, your own arms around his middle. If you didn’t know better, you would assume the two of you were a couple.

“Hell, Dad is gonna be ecstatic when he meets you - ” he smiles at you.

But Jake almost seems to push you back, his arm becoming a barrier between you and own his brother.

“Dad?”

Another furrowed brow crosses his face as he swipes up the bottle of red on the countertop, “Well, yeah? Ma said you guys were in town until Wednesday, so I figured you were coming to their thing tomorrow.”

Hangman rubs a hand down his face.

“I never fucking said that, man.”

“Jesus,” Josh chuckles, holding his hand up in mock surrender. “Need to get over that shit, Jackie. It was a long ass time ago and everyone’s gonna be there anyway. Shit, Kensie hasn’t seen you in almost five years - she starts middle school next fall.”

He groans in annoyance and you quickly step out of his line of fire as he begins to pace along the island.

“Yeah, well maybe I wasn’t ready to go visiting him yet. Maybe I didn’t want to involve her in this whole thing. God, would you just fucking think about something other than yourself for once?”

Jake seems about ready to hit his second wind, going in for the kill shot, when the phone in his pocket starts pinging: one notification after the other. He sighs, yanking the device out to stare at the incoming hailstorm of messages from the family group chat.

“Just… had to go runnin’ your mouth to Jess of all people.”

Josh, by now, has opened the bottle and pulled down three glasses. He swishes the wine in his for a moment, offering a half-hearted, “Sorry, man.”

In return, Jake just scoffs, firing off a text before finally looking over at you.

“They want me - us, to come over tomorrow.”

You stare at your friend, your companion, your wingman.

He’s the epitome of anxiety-ridden and stressed out. Clenching his hands into fists, chewing a sore spot onto his bottom lip.

You think about Patricia and Josh, how they’ve treated him while here in your presence. Then you consider the obvious hold-up he seemed to have about anything to do with his own father. If today was the test run, then tomorrow was nearly guaranteed to be the real shitshow.

In good conscience, you knew you couldn’t let him face that alone.

Not many people outside of your squadron would willingly give Hangman the time of day. He appeared cocky, a little too smart-alec for his own good. But you could see right through that act - right through the bullshit. And this man was terrified at the prospect of having to show up to a family get-together with almost no real way out.

Patty had already dropped the little fact that the two of you were already going to be in Austin an extra day. His sister was seemingly excited to meet you, his totally not fake girlfriend.

And, when you consider all the things the two of you had been through together. The missions you had flown when life and death were truly on the line, well… this didn’t seem all that bad, now did it?

With a calming breath, you smile gently up at Jake.

“Okay.”

He blinks, seemingly resetting his brain back a few seconds as he repeats, “O-okay?”

“Yeah, honey. I’m with you,” you reach for his hand, and like a personal life preserver, he latches on and squeezes tightly.

The two of you make it through the rest of the meal with tight-lipped and less-than-genuine smiles. You bite your tongue at the overly rude comments and try your best to shed Jake in good light. At one point, Patty disappears into the kitchen for a solid fifteen minutes when things become a little too heated between the brothers again.

She comes back with the slightest sway to her step and an all-together more pleasant attitude.

You make it through dessert and offer to help clean up. Jake and his brother share a very intense conversation on the couch as you pack up leftovers for Patricia. His eyes meet yours several times, but he just shakes his head and gets drawn back into the discussion again.

By the time the sky is falling dark and the porch lights across the street are turning on in near-perfect synchronicity, the two of you had clearly had your fill.

With Jake promising to call her more often, or at the very least try to write more often. And, with a stoic face, he slaps his brother on the shoulder and says that the two of you will see him tomorrow afternoon.

The drive back to the hotel is silent once again. Though you can’t particularly blame the guy. If he was anywhere near as exhausted as you felt, then the silence was a fucking reprieve from the day.

Once inside the sanctuary of your room, you both go about stripping the masks you had worn, with Jake allowing you first go at the bathroom to wipe off your makeup and properly clean your face. He’s sat on the edge of his bed when you do emerge in your pajama pants and sleep shirt. His boots are still on, his hands in an entwined fist between his spread legs, and his eyes fixed on a place far away from the hotel carpet in front of him.

With a gentle sigh, you carefully place your toiletry bag back on the dresser and make your way over to him, dropping down to your knees in front of him.

“Talk to me, Seresin.”

It takes a second, but his eyes flash up to meet your own. He settles his hands on his knees and takes a long breath.

“Thank you, for all of that today.”

You offer him the slightest quirk of your lips.

“I told you; I keep my promises.”

“Yeah,” he breathes out, “But you didn’t originally agree to a repeat show.”

Your hand pushes at his leg, trying to ease him out of his tense shell, “Come on, missions change all the time. The rules of engagement stay the same, but sometimes a single target turns into two or more. I agreed to do this for you and I’m gonna see it through.”

He tilts his head back, his throat bobbing as he gulps with the slightest hitch in his voice, “I know.”

“Then will you let the fact that we absolutely rocked it out of the fucking park today sink in for a moment?”

It was true. Patty had almost hugged you at the end - the closest form of real affection that she seemed willing to give. Had eagerly complimented Jake on how wonderful, accomplished, and pretty his girlfriend was. She had even pressed about seeing you again next year, with him wrapping his arm around your waist and smiling wide with a teasing, well, we’ll see about that, Momma.

There was no chance in hell Jake would get another leave over the Christmas holiday again. Even less likely was the chance of the two of you traveling down to Austin to perform this stunt ever again. The fact of the matter was, the two of you were going to “break up” sometime in the next few weeks. And maybe then, she would lay off the relationship talk for a little while longer.

That or Jake just had to stop replying to her emails.

“Admit it,” you grab his knee and gently rock his leg back and forth, “We make a hell of a team, Seresin.”

“Aww,” he coos, “You say that to all the boys, Pits.”

“Fuck off, Hangman,” you chuckle, rising to your feet and making your way over to your bed. Happy to find that the tone between you had remained unchanged by the day.

He finally relents, kicking off his shoes and placing them over by the closet once again, before he reclines back on his bed. You’re already snuggled under the covers when he flicks off the beside light - though the TV is still on mute in the background. The brightness of the screen casts his face in obscure shadows as he rolls onto his side to face you.

Propping your head up on your hand, you begin, “Okay, play it out for me, Bagman.”

You can make out the faintest shimmer of a smirk on his lips as he starts, “So, we’re looking at a full house tomorrow. There’s gonna be my brothers, Josh and Justin - ”

By the time he’s fully exhausted himself of the makeshift, seat-of-his-pants plan, you’re struggling to keep your own eyes open. With your eyelids growing heavier as you try to focus on his garbled words.

And then he stops.

“You still with me, honey?” he teases softly.

“Barely,” you mumble, face pressed into the pillow.

He sighs, and then the light disappears from the room as he turns off the TV. You can hear the faint groaning of the air conditioner coming back on.

“Get your sleep, Pita. You’re gonna need it.”

You smile, already feeling the pleasant tug of unconscious oblivion as you stretch your legs out, “You too, Bagman.”

His warm, throaty chuckle is the last thing you hear as you finally slip under

Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

[oneshortdamnfuse]

I like how when my dad went to the ER for chest and abdominal pain, they ran multiple tests including an ECG, X Ray and CT scan, gave him a double dose of pain medicine, and diagnosed him with gastritis within five hours, sending him home with prescriptions and a detailed sheet on how to deal with it.

When I went to the ER with chest and abdominal pain, they did an ECG. Noted it was "normal," and then left me to writhe there in pain for hours with no pain relief and no additional tests other than a physician coming over to interrogate me on what could be causing my anxiety and I went home with no diagnosis, endured severe disabling attacks for an entire year until I met with a female doctor who ordered additional tests that diagnosed that my gallbladder was failing and my intestines were on the wrong side of my body and even then when I went to a consultation with a surgeon, they asked me what made me think my gallbladder was failing even though I had been told so through ultrasound and they told me not to worry so much about my intestines being on the wrong side of my body even though I had chronic abdominal pain and vitamin deficiencies.

Love that.

[mandana-the-service-pup]

Just finished my Pulmonologist Apt. Lung function is normal but she agrees we might not have caught an episode if it’s transient. Unfortunately, she can’t prescribe me anything until it shows up on their tests. She’s sending me a one-night sleep apnea test bc that’s all they have to test for things at home and said I can stop by whenever I’m feeling symptomatic and they can try to test it spontaneously.

She also brought up abdominal aortic issues that can be caused by EDS which was a surprising coincidence considering I just went to urgent care for new symptoms that would correlate with that. Urgent Care thought it was related to my gastroparesis so I scheduled a GI apt but the Pulmonologist thinks I should talk to my Cardiologist about it.

She believes me. Even if my oxymeter isn’t accurate there’s no reason it should be completely normal for my husband & crazy for me. I just gotta catch it on their tests before they can do anything about it.

Mandana was better in some ways and worse in others. I seem to be narrowing it down to a particular situation that gets her worked up. She’s completely fine in the waiting room even when I walk away (I did training there before and after the apt). In the exam room she wants to be all up in my lap which is unacceptable. She needs to just lay down & chill while they examine me. It seems like maybe she’s carrying over some of the stress from previous vet appointments. She’s completely fine at her usual vet but she acts like she does when we took her to the dentist or the university vet & had to leave her for emergencies. I’m not sure how to train for that besides just generalizing her mat/settle and going to a lot of boring appointments. It might work out for the best anyways. If the sleep apnea test doesn’t catch anything I could go to the hospital regularly for training and if I start flaring up they could test me.

Focused & alerting in the waiting room. She alerted in the exam room too but she was way too worked up. Advice welcome 😕

Besides all that, I asked if it could be Lupus related and she said no because we would see way more damage before it started affecting my blood oxygen levels. The only thing that showed up was my chest X-ray showed mild hyperinflation which was weird but she didn’t know what it could mean in relation to everything else and didn’t think it was related to my symptoms. I wanted to ask about the Lupus because my Rheumatology apt is next week and I’m trying to stay on top of all the questions I need to be asking each specialist.

[not-poignant]

I hope it's okay to ask, but how are things? Looking forward to Underline The Gold on Sunday so much

Omg I'm looking forward to it too

Tbh I'm up to chapter 8 on that now so we're ready to really start pushing ahead with some of the side stories which is exciting

As for me, it's been pretty rough, anon, not gonna lie. I'm going to put this under a read more because I'm pretty honest and also because there's more than one 'I might have cancer' mention among other things:

I kind of thought I was doing fine and then it all got on top of me a couple of days ago and (self-harm mention) I ended up self-injuring due to autistic meltdown. Sometimes I don't realise how bad things really are until I'm at that stage and I have bruises and soft tissue damage to show for it. I've since talked to my doctor and therapist about it, but like...oof.

I've actually been taking a break from writing since I've hit 50k and I generally have a rule that I have to take at least 2-4 days off once I've hit that point, but I'm still pretty stuffed, but mostly for health reasons. I've written 14 chapters this month so I feel okay about the break lol.

On Friday (the day after the meltdown) I needed to have a hand X-ray (even right now, the knuckles in my left hand are really sore), see my GP for 40 minutes, talk to my therapist, organise an iron infusion (I have microcytic anemia and need an iron infusion again, which I think is my 5th or 6th - I need one about once every 2-3 years, and mostly the time between is the slow downward spiral of losing more and more iron until I'm truly fucked) and a meeting with one of the head haematologists in the state because my red blood cells are bullshit and weird (yay). Guess that explains the exhaustion.

I still need to organise a lymph node ultrasound (which is probably nothing, except there is like a 'higher than average' chance it could be metastatic cancer, since I do have tumours in my head right now that could metastasize, and the tumours are extremely close to the swollen lymph node - also I haven't had a virus).

I need to organise a meeting with a dermatologist, I need to organise a full abdominal MRI to see if I have any other tumours we don't know about, and I got an eating disorder management plan for restrictive eating, which does entitle me to like...cheaper dietitian appointments, but also formalises me as having an ED as opposed to 'disordered eating.'

On top of that I had to deal with a tribunal after my Dad had a catastrophic stroke a few months ago, and the tribunal was last month, to determine who would look after him. Our family is so broken and my stepmother so manipulative/vindictive that the government decided no one could be trusted and took care of his finances and healthcare themselves meaning none of us can have any real say in his future (truly the best outcome, but a damning one for the state of the family), and I also had to listen to my stepmother accuse my sister of being a criminal for 20 minutes with completely unfounded lies, and of course, my Dad has had a catastrophic stroke, and that's complicated. That's a whole...

That saga is so much anon, I cannot even begin to explain even the tip of that iceberg.

I've been spending a lot of extra time like scanning family photos and other things and packing items in his home for storage etc. and while that's been done now for over a month and a half, I guess the burn out started some time ago and it's just been slowly getting on top of me. Kind of the 'slowly boiling a lobster in a pot' analogy.

I've been overall quieter on Tumblr as a result of all of this, and it all just...destroyed me on Thursday, and ever since then I've been recovering.

I've just realised it's nearly 1.00am and I swear the last time I looked at the clock - which felt like 5 minutes ago - it was 11.00pm.

Oh and to top it all off I've had vicious 'not falling asleep until 4.00am' insomnia + increased nightmares because my PTSD has relapsed back into 'pretty severe.' So um, managing most nights on 3-4 hours of sleep a night, and that's bad for all my chronic illnesses, of which I have many.

Ah. Yeah. :(

Lemme rustle up some good news for you, anon, because I feel like this is just too much crap.

Bushflowers/wildflowers are really nice right now as it's turning to spring in Western Australia (it's Djilba in the Noongar seasonal system, which I prefer)

Rhubarb is in season so I'm making a lot of stewed apple and rhubarb as a comfort food.

Reading the manhwa Punch Drunk Love and enjoying it.

Asks like yours - even if all of this sounds dire - helps me to undestand that I actually do have good reasons to feel tired and that it's okay to take breaks and that's really valuable (sometimes - though rarely - people use my anon function to talk at me, rather than talking to me as a person, and I just...really value feeling like a person sometimes aslfkjsa) so while I might seem down, this has actually been nice to end my night on. Also you've reminded me that I am super excited/happy to share more Underline the Gold with people

I got some organisational stuff and organising stuff in the house makes me feel good.

I have an extremely good doctor and tbh for a long time I didn't, so like, every good specialist and doctor is worth their weight in gold. :)

I hope you're doing okay and looking after yourself / taking care anon, and that you get something good out of what remains of the weekend. <3 And for everyone who needs one, hugs are on the house.

[tieflingkisser]

Columbia University Apartheid Divest coalition statement on chemical skunk attack

On January 19, a protest against the Israeli genocide in Gaza was attacked by counter-protesters using the chemical agent, known as "Skunk." The university bears full responsibility for all violence against the pro-Palestine movement on campus.

On Friday, January 19th, 2024, at 1 p.m., the Columbia University Apartheid Divest coalition (CUAD) held an emergency protest outside of Low Library against U.S. attacks on Yemen and the ongoing Israeli genocide in Gaza, which has killed over 25,000 Palestinians. A group of counter-protestors, some of whom were affiliates of the Israeli Occupation Forces (IOF), gathered in opposition, verbally harassing and provoking the students. Both internal security from CUAD and Columbia Public Safety officers, including John Murillo, the Director of Public Safety, were present. However, Public Safety turned their backs to the counter-protestors and faced the CUAD protest, a clear indication of who they intended to keep “safe.” Around 1:30 p.m., an IOF-associated counter-protester attacked a Palestinian student and issued a death threat. Instead of responding to this serious attack, which they witnessed, public safety officials surrounded and initiated a physical altercation with the Palestinian student, accused him falsely of pushing them, and allowed the assailant to disappear. Around 2:00 p.m., two students sprayed an odorous chemical at CUAD protestors. When the protest ended around 3:00 p.m., the smell remained strong and was clearly noticeable on protest signs, students’ hair, clothing, backpacks, and jackets. Following student and community attempts to find the deployers of the chemical agent, known as “Skunk,” we identified them as two former IOF Officers who are current Columbia School of General Studies (GS) students. While these two students seriously endangered the campus community, they are but two members of a larger imperial project. Their actions are a result of Columbia’s complicity in the ongoing genocide in Gaza and refusal to protect its Palestinian and Palestine-supporting students.  Since Friday, students impacted by the Skunk spray have reported abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, shortness of breath, and excessive coughing, with four students ending up in the emergency room. Over the past 24 hours, at least nine impacted students have been sent to the hospital for electrocardiograms (EKGs), chest X-rays, and respiratory and digestive system stabilization. Their medical reports upon discharge all state “exposure to chemical agent.” Despite these frightening physical symptoms, we are extremely grateful and privileged to have access to healthcare when those in Gaza do not. The Israeli blockade restricts medical care Gazans are entitled to receive under international law, and since October 7, the Israeli occupation has bombed all thirty-six hospitals in Gaza. This has forced doctors to perform C-sections and amputations without basic anesthesia. We must highlight that Israel attacks the people of Gaza daily with bombs, white phosphorus, and bullets. In the West Bank, the IOF deploys Skunk spray not only against individuals protesting but against entire Palestinian homes as a method of collective punishment. We cannot pull our eyes from the genocide in Gaza and Israel’s settler-colonial regime. 

[macgyvermedical]

I'm writing a story where a male character has gallstones. It happened to me a long time ago so I don't remember how they ran tests at the hospital to get to that diagnosis. I just remember the chest/back pain was terrible. How would they rule out a heart attack in the emergency room? What else would they test for? Are gall bladder stones common enough that a nurse or doctor thinks to check before an x-ray?

If the hospital is busy, how long is a patient allowed to be in severe pain until it warrants more meds (I've heard of morphine being used).

Cholecystitis (inflammation of the gallbladder, often related to gallstones) is a very common reason for abdominal pain. In fact, about 10-20% of Americans have gallstones, and about 1/3 of those will at some point have cholecystitis because of them.

Cholecystitis is very similar to appendicitis, just instead of the opening of the appendix getting blocked, the opening of the gallbladder does. About 90% of cholecystitis cases occur when a stone gets lodged in the tube that carries bile from the gallbladder to the small intestine.

While the pain is described as being abdominal, there is a lot of referred pain associated with the gallbladder, often in the shoulders, back, and chest. This can make it so that the person coming into the emergency room initially complains of pain in one of these areas.

If someone comes in and says their chest hurts, the hospital has to rule out something serious- like a heart attack or PE- before they can move on. Usually this involves taking bloodwork, doing an EKG, taking an X-ray or CT of the chest, and if anything comes of that, giving morphine and/or a beta blocker to reduce workload on the heart while setting up to go to the cath lab to remove the clot or place a chest tube.

If it's gallbladder pain, nothing is going to come of this- it's all going to come up normal, so they'll start working on other things. Usually this involves more bloodwork and more physical exam, as well as a CT of the abdomen.

The quickest and cheapest physical exam way to tell if someone's pain is caused by their gallbladder is to press straight down under the patient's ribcage on the right side, then tell the patient to take a deep breath. As the person breathes in, the diaphragm pushes down on the liver, which sandwiches the gallbladder between the liver and the examiner's hand, which hurts so much the person usually can't take the whole breath. This is called Murphy's sign.

As for how often the person might get pain meds- on a floor 2-6 hours depending on the med is standard- and they'll have to ask for them each time because of how they're ordered. In an emergency room, they're probably going to be lucky if they get them once, since in the ED, med doses are typically ordered individually.

Since cholecystitis isn't usually immediately life threatening, they'll either admit the person to a floor where they can get pain medicine until an OR opens up for a non-emergent slot, or they'll send the person home with some oral pain meds and schedule the surgery outpatient.

[rin-the-cat]

I was going to edit and add this rant to my previous post but it got so long I decided to give it its own post.

I don't understand how Doctors get a way writing up their notes like they do. At the vet clinic where I work, if a doctor doesn't examine something on an animal they put in the record that they did not examine it, but this never seems to be what human doctors do. Lets use my recent visit to a Rheumatologist. I will begin by prefacing that, in this case, I did not come away from the visit feeling like he had done a poor job. He did an exam that I felt was adequate for the situation and he asked all the right questions. However, the notes that he put into my legal medical record do not reflect the exam that he actually did.

Warning: very long rant ahead.

TLDR: Doctors lie in legal medical records all the time and sometimes it can have major consequences, but apparently not for the doctor or they wouldn't keep doing it.

ENT examined for oral mucositis, moisture, thrush, nasal deformity, external ear redness, deformity.

He did not look into my mouth and I don't think he was sitting close enough to me to get a good look from me just talking.

Abdomen examined for softness, tenderness, obvious organomegaly.

He never touched my abdomen

Neurological examination done for alertness, speech, facial symmetry, tone and power in upper and lower extremities, and gait.

He never checked tone or power in my lower extremities. I'm not sure that he examined the tone or power of my upper extremities now that I think of it. The only opportunity he had to see my gait was the two steps it took for me to get to the table, and I was very obviously limping.

The joint examination is performed for swelling, tenderness, warmth, erythema, and range of motion in the following joints: DIPs, PIPs, MCPs, wrists, first CMC's, elbows, shoulders, hips, knees, ankles, feet; spine for range of motion and paraspinal muscles for tenderness.

He did feel the joints in my hands (the reason why I was there.) but he didn't check range of motion on any joints or feel anything in my lower extremities.

The salient normal / abnormal findings are appended.

I suppose this line is supposed to excuse the fact that everything above it was a copy/pasted generic normal exam findings...

She is tender in the PIPs especially ring middle and index fingers, she does not have definite synovitis in any of the palpable joints. She does not have dactylitis. There is no nail pitting or onycholysis. She does not have a rash on her face there is no sclerodactyly periungual erythema. She has minimal if any tenderness across trapezius along the paraspinal regions. She did not have any significant tenderness in the trochanteric areas

This is the exam that he actually did in its entirety. Why type this out and include the copy-pasted bit that reports normal exam findings for things you didn't examine? What if you put this in my medical record today and tomorrow I ended up in the ER with a giant abdominal tumor that you somehow missed when you supposedly palpated my abdomen. It seems like you could/should get in serious trouble if something like that happened.

And that is basically what happened to my mom. She went in for pain in her back, over her ribs. The doctor didn't touch her except to "hit" the spot that hurt (her words, not mine. I do know that the spot that was hurting was so tender that a tap could have felt like he smacked her.) He declared that she had a broken rib, sent her to x-ray then sent her home. However the exam notes he put in her record read just like the ones above. The next day the pain was so bad she ended up in the ER where it was discovered that she had stage 4 lymphoma. It would not have been possible to do the exam that his notes claimed that he did and not realize that there was something more than a broken rib going on. This is a pet scan of her upper body. For those unfamilure with looking at CT scans or PET scans. the gray area at the top is her brain, the scan goes down to her mid-waist, and her arms are held up above her head. All of those bright white blobs are enlarged, involved lymph nodes.

On a normal person, you would only feel one node on each side of the neck and one node in each armpit area There are more there, but they would normally they would be too small to really feel. You can see on this scan that if he had palpated her neck, he would have felt numerous lumps. If he had felt her armpit (which you might not normally do, but if there were a bunch of enlarged nodes in the neck, you would probably feel the armpits next), he would have felt many lumps there too. If he had done the thorough exam that his medical exam notes claimed he did, he would not have though this was a simple broken rib.

Now would it have made a difference if it had been caught 24 hours sooner? Absolutely not, but that's not the point. The point is that Doctors lie in their patients medical records every day. Lying in a legal medical records is grounds for losing your license so why is lying and saying you examined something that you did examine given a pass? Why would doctors take the risk of doing multiple times a day, every day?

I like the way our medical records software is set up at the vet clinic where I work. There is a check list of all the systems that are typically examined. If a Doctor examines a system and it's normal they check a box but don't enter any notes. If something is abnormal they check the box and put in their notes in the text box next to the chart. If they don't examine a system (say there's an aggressive dog in for a routine exam, they might skip looking in the mouth.) then they don't check the box. When they are done it auto-populates the exam findings and for any system not examined it lists it as not examined. And that's now it should be, if a doctor doesn't examine something, they shouldn't be reporting normal findings. And here's the thing, the doctors that I work with actually do do a thorough exam, nearly every time. Doesn't matter if the dog is in for a well check or because they are sick, they look in the ears, eyes, mouth. they feel all the lymph nodes. They check range of motion on all four limbs. They feel the spine and check for neurological deficits. They listen to the chest. They palpate the abdomen. And that last one is a big one because dogs tend to get these primary splenetic tumors that are totally asymptomatic until one day it ruptures and the dog bleeds out. There have been many times where these tumors were discovered at an annual well check and the spleen could be removed while the dog was healthy instead of it being an emergency surgery on a critically ill dog. And the vet does all this so quickly and with a practiced ease that you might not even notice them doing it.

I think part of the reason that this is standard practice at any (decent) vet practice is because animals can't tell us where it hurts or how they are feeling, and I suppose human doctors assume we will be able to tell them if something is wrong. But here's the thing, that's not always true. Someone might have had a problem their whole life and assume that it's a normal thing. I tend to clam up at the doctor and forget what I wanted to say (It's really annoying, take the rheumatology visit for an example. My hands have been a major problem for me lately, the pain interferes to some degree with nearly every daily task that requires dexterity, but once I'm sitting in the office I sound more like, "My fingers hurt a little I guess... I don't know, I guess when I open jars 'n stuff" and mean while the doctor is probably thinking, "wtf is she doing here?" and I know the solution to this should be to write a list but when I try to do that my mind goes blank. My mostly nonverbal autistic 7 year old certainly isn't going to be able to tell the doctor what the problem is. I can't even get him to point to where it hurts when he hurts himself, i just have to wait and see where the bruise pops up.

[nature-and-music]

Sickness update: (If reading about hospitals makes you feel nervous, please do not click on “keep reading” below.)

After going to the emergency room last night, turns out I have gastroenteritis.

Thankfully I haven’t shown signs of a fever and there wasn’t any blood present when I had to use the bathroom. I had to partake in different tests (EKG, covid, urine, blood drawing, and stomach x-ray) and then I was given a room where I was hooked up to an IV. The results from the tests were reported as normal/came back as negative. There wasn’t any sign of blockage from the x-ray test. I was given a prescription and a doctor’s note to stay home for a few days this upcoming week.

I was extremely nervous yesterday. From the moment I felt the abdominal pain to when I stepped into the emergency room. Believe me when I say that I’m grateful for all of the wonderful medical professionals and the incredible work that they do. Being in hospitals makes me feel uneasy. I don’t know where these feelings stem from, I just feel so afraid whenever I go to a hospital or medical center (even when it’s for a yearly check).

Regardless of those feelings, I’ve had a full nights rest and I’ll be home for the next few days.

[smartcarediagnostics]

The Importance of Regular Full Body Checkups and How SmartCare Diagnostics Simplifies the Process

Maintaining good health isn’t just about treating illnesses—it’s about proactively monitoring your body’s wellbeing. Regular full body checkups are essential as they help identify any underlying health issues, often before symptoms even arise. By staying on top of your health, you can detect potential health risks early and take preventive actions to maintain a higher quality of life.

Why Full Body Checkups Are Important

Regular full body checkups provide comprehensive insights into your physical health, helping detect a wide range of conditions early on. Common lifestyle and age-related issues—such as heart disease, diabetes, liver and kidney disorders, and certain cancers—can often go unnoticed without regular testing. By catching these issues at an early stage, individuals can prevent complications, reduce treatment costs, and increase the likelihood of a positive outcome. A routine checkup can bring peace of mind, knowing that any hidden health risks are actively being monitored.

Tests Typically Included in a Full Body Checkup

A full body checkup generally covers a range of essential tests designed to assess the health of vital organs and functions. Here are some of the standard tests included:

Blood and Complete Blood Count (CBC): Checks for infections, anemia, and other blood disorders.

Lipid Profile: Measures cholesterol levels and helps assess heart disease risk.

Liver Function Test (LFT): Evaluates the health of the liver.

Kidney Function Test (KFT): Assesses kidney health, crucial for filtering waste from the body.

Diabetes Screening: Tests blood glucose levels to detect diabetes or pre-diabetes.

Thyroid Function Test: Checks thyroid hormone levels for metabolic and hormonal balance.

Urinalysis: Provides insights into kidney and urinary health.

Vitamin Deficiency Test: Assesses levels of essential vitamins like B12 and D.

Imaging Tests (Chest X-Ray, ECG, or Ultrasound): For a detailed look at heart, lung, and abdominal health.

These tests, collectively, give a holistic view of a person’s health status and can help physicians recommend necessary lifestyle or dietary adjustments to improve overall health.

Why Choose Top NABL and CAP-Accredited Labs

Accuracy in diagnostic testing is crucial, as even minor inaccuracies can lead to incorrect diagnoses or treatment delays. NABL (National Accreditation Board for Testing and Calibration Laboratories) and CAP (College of American Pathologists) accreditations ensure that a lab meets high-quality standards and follows rigorous protocols to deliver accurate results. Choosing top NABL and CAP-accredited labs—such as Agilus Diagnostics, Suburban Diagnostics, Dr. Lal PathLabs, and Thyrocare—provides peace of mind that your tests are reliable and held to high standards. These labs use advanced equipment, highly trained staff, and stringent quality control processes to ensure the most accurate and reliable results.

Why SmartCare Diagnostics is the Convenient Choice

Finding the best full body checkup package can be overwhelming, as it often involves checking multiple diagnostic companies’ websites, comparing prices, and ensuring quality. SmartCare Diagnostics simplifies this process by listing all these top labs on one platform. You can easily:

Compare Prices of full body checkups and other tests from trusted, top-tier labs like Agilus, Suburban Diagnostics, Dr. Lal PathLabs, and Thyrocare.

Schedule Free Home Sampling to get your blood work done from the comfort of your home, saving time and effort.

Access Accurate Reports with a few clicks, making it easier to take control of your health without needing to visit multiple websites or clinics.

With SmartCare Diagnostics, there’s no need to navigate each lab’s individual website or make separate inquiries. By comparing options on one platform, you save time, ensure competitive pricing, and can be confident in the quality of the tests you’re choosing—all from NABL and CAP-accredited labs.

Conclusion

Regular full body checkups are invaluable for managing and maintaining health. By monitoring key health metrics and catching potential issues early, you can work toward a healthier, more fulfilling life. With SmartCare Diagnostics, getting these checkups is easier than ever. By providing a single platform to compare top-tier diagnostic labs, SmartCare simplifies the process, offers cost-effective options, and ensures accuracy and convenience. Take a step toward proactive health management today with a full body checkup through SmartCare Diagnostics—your trusted partner for accurate and convenient healthcare.

[gastroenterologistingurgaon]

Can an Endoscopic Ultrasound Help with Digestive Issues?

Digestive issues can range from mild discomfort to severe conditions that significantly impact a person's quality of life. Diagnosing the root cause of digestive problems often requires advanced medical imaging techniques, and one such procedure is an Endoscopic Ultrasound (EUS). An EUS combines endoscopy and ultrasound technology to provide detailed images of the digestive tract and nearby organs. If you are experiencing unexplained gastrointestinal symptoms and are seeking advanced diagnostic tools, an endoscopic ultrasound scan service in Gurgaon may be the answer.

Here’s how an EUS can help with diagnosing and treating digestive issues:

What Is an Endoscopic Ultrasound (EUS)?

An Endoscopic Ultrasound (EUS) is a minimally invasive procedure used to evaluate conditions in the digestive system. During an EUS, a thin, flexible tube called an endoscope is inserted through the mouth and gently guided down into the esophagus, stomach, or small intestine. At the tip of the endoscope is a small ultrasound probe, which uses sound waves to create detailed images of the digestive tract and surrounding tissues. This combination allows doctors to assess internal organs such as the pancreas, liver, bile ducts, and lymph nodes more accurately.

The procedure is highly beneficial in diagnosing a variety of gastrointestinal issues, including chronic abdominal pain, pancreatic cysts, and even tumors. If you live in Gurgaon, you can access this state-of-the-art diagnostic technique by opting for an EUS in Gurgaon, where experienced specialists are available to perform the procedure.

How Can EUS Help with Digestive Issues?

Identifying the Cause of Abdominal Pain

One of the main reasons for conducting an EUS is to identify the source of chronic or unexplained abdominal pain. Traditional imaging methods like X-rays or CT scans may not always provide enough detail to pinpoint the problem, especially if it’s related to the pancreas, bile ducts, or lymph nodes. EUS can give doctors a closer look at these structures, helping to uncover issues such as gallstones, tumors, or cysts that may be causing the pain.

Detecting and Staging Cancers

EUS is particularly valuable in detecting and staging cancers of the gastrointestinal tract, such as pancreatic, esophageal, and stomach cancers. By providing high-resolution images of tumors and nearby lymph nodes, an EUS allows doctors to assess the size and spread of the cancer. This information is critical for planning appropriate treatment options, which could range from surgery to chemotherapy.

If you have been advised to undergo an EUS for cancer detection or staging, finding a reliable endoscopic ultrasound scan service in Gurgaon ensures that you receive accurate results from trained professionals.

Diagnosing Pancreatic Conditions

The pancreas is a tricky organ to visualize with regular imaging methods. EUS is considered one of the best ways to evaluate pancreatic conditions, including pancreatitis, cysts, and tumors. The detailed images produced by the ultrasound probe help doctors make a more accurate diagnosis and guide treatment plans.

Assessing Bile Duct and Gallbladder Issues

Digestive problems like jaundice, persistent nausea, or unexplained weight loss may be linked to bile duct or gallbladder disorders. EUS can help diagnose issues such as bile duct stones, blockages, or cancers that affect these organs. Because it can provide clear images of the bile ducts, EUS often leads to quicker and more effective treatment.

Guiding Fine-Needle Aspiration (FNA)

In some cases, an EUS may be used to guide a fine-needle aspiration (FNA). This procedure involves using a thin needle to take a sample of tissue from a suspected tumor or cyst for further examination. The EUS allows the doctor to precisely guide the needle to the right spot, reducing the risk of complications and improving the accuracy of the biopsy.

Why Choose an EUS in Gurgaon?

Gurgaon is home to some of the country’s most advanced medical facilities, offering cutting-edge diagnostic and treatment services. Opting for an EUS in Gurgaon ensures that you receive high-quality care from experienced gastroenterologists and radiologists. 

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In Baltimore City, MD: The cutest laid-back, affectionate 7-year-old pup looking for love - BARCS, Baltimore MD

Spike- 7 y/o, altered male, 42lbs

Spike is a sweet and lovable 7-year-old pup looking for his forever home. He’s a calm and laid-back companion indoors but comes to life when it's time for outdoor adventures. Spike absolutely loves being outside and gets so excited every time you head out for a walk or a potty break. While he’s not too fond of car rides and may get a little anxious, he eventually calms down and manages just fine.

Indoors, Spike is a chill dog who’s not very interested in toys but absolutely adores being close to his humans. He’ll follow you around everywhere and loves snuggling up, especially when it's bedtime—he’ll happily lay next to you, often resting his head near yours. He’s content to relax and get all the love and attention you can give him, with a calm energy level of about 5 out of 10. Spike does get bursts of energy when he’s ready to go outside or if you get him riled up for some fun, but for the most part, he’s a laid-back and affectionate buddy.

Spike is well-behaved and walks nicely on a leash, but he's not a fan of crates so he might whine or bark for a few minutes when you leave, but he settles down on his own. He hasn’t been around other dogs while in foster care, cats, or small animals, but during walks, he doesn’t bark at other dogs and will continue walking when you redirect him. He’s also been great with kids he has encountered in the neighborhood.

His ideal home would be with someone who is around often or can bring him along to places since he thrives on human companionship. A home without a lot of stairs would also be great, as Spike has a bit of trouble navigating them. If you're looking for a laid-back, affectionate companion who will love to be by your side, Spike is the perfect match for you!

At his initial intake exam, Spike was noted to have an abnormal hind limb gait, so x-rays were recommended, though a brief ortho exam while anesthetized suggests stifle osteoarthritis. He also had two dermal masses on his scrotum, which were removed during the time of neuter. A full medical summary can be provided upon request.

While in foster, it was reported that Spike was recently having accidents inside the home despite being taken out beforehand. A U/A was unremarkable, but a CBC showed some non-regenerative anemia; however there were clots in the sample. There were also renal markers, so now a PCV/TS and abdominal rads are recommended before trying a renal diet. A full medical summary can be provided upon request.

Spike is available immediately for rescue pick-up, and given his age and medical concerns, we are hoping to find placement for him soon.

Please let us know if your organization can help!

Thank you,

The BARCS Rescue Team

Baltimore Animal Rescue & Care Shelter (BARCS) ​New Address! 2490 Giles Rd, Baltimore, MD 21225 rescue@barcs.org| (410) 396-4695

Rescue pick-up hours: Monday-Friday: 10:30 a.m.-6:30 p.m. Saturday and Sunday: 8:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m

Adoption hours: Monday-Friday: 2 p.m.-6 p.m. Saturday and Sunday: 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Baltimore Animal Rescue and Care Shelter, Inc. (BARCS) | 2490 Giles Rd | Baltimore, MD 21225 US

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Different Types of X-ray Machines and Their Uses in Medical Imaging — A Blog By Prognosys Medical System

Different Types of X-ray Machines and Their Uses in Medical Imaging

X-ray machines are essential tools in medical imaging, allowing physicians to visualize the internal structures of the body. They come in various forms, each designed for specific diagnostic purposes. Here are the main types of X-ray machines and their uses:

1. Conventional or Analog X-ray Machines: Conventional or standard analog X-ray machines are the most common type, often used to capture images of bones and internal organs. They are quick, non-invasive, and ideal for diagnosing fractures, infections, and tumors. These systems utilize ionizing radiation to create images and are widely available in most healthcare facilities. Conventional or Analog categorized by below mentioned types and designed to address volume and use, as well as space and functionality.

• Ceiling suspended systems • Floor mounted systems • Floor to wall systems • Mobile X-ray

Uses: • Bone fractures • Chest X-rays for lung issues • Abdominal imaging

2. Fluoroscopy Machines: Fluoroscopy provides continuous real-time X-ray imaging, similar to a video. This machine is often used to guide diagnostic or therapeutic procedures, such as placing catheters or visualizing the digestive system during contrast studies.

• C-Arm X-ray Systems: C-arm machines a fixed or mobile X-ray units shaped like a “C” and are typically used in surgical and interventional procedures. They provide real-time imaging, allowing surgeons to view the progress of the surgery as it happens.

Uses: • Barium swallow studies for digestive issues • Cardiac catheterization • Guided biopsies • Orthopedic surgeries • Cardiovascular procedures • Pain management treatments

3. Digital Radiography (DR): Digital radiography is a modern form of X-ray that captures images directly in digital format, allowing for quicker and clearer image processing. It reduces radiation exposure and provides more precise results. Digital radiography categorized by the below mentioned types and designed to address volume and use, as well as space and functionality.

• Ceiling suspended systems • Floor mounted systems • Floor to wall systems • Mobile X-ray & battery-operated mobile X-ray • Portable X-ray systems

Uses: • Bone fractures • Dental imaging • Soft tissue diagnosis

4. Mammography Machines: Mammography machines are specifically designed to take detailed images of breast tissue. They use lower doses of X-rays to capture high-resolution images, which are vital for early detection of breast cancer.

Uses: • Breast cancer screening • Diagnostic mammograms for abnormal findings

Conclusion: Each type of X-ray machine plays a critical role in diagnosing and treating various medical conditions. From basic bone fractures to complex surgeries, X-ray technology continues to evolve, improving patient care through accurate and efficient imaging. These machines are a cornerstone of modern medicine, helping doctors make informed decisions and ensuring better health outcomes.

About Prognosys Medical Systems: Prognosys Medical Systems is a Medical Imaging and Telehealth Products and Solutions Company. We design our x-ray product to be the safest product with lowest or negligible radiation (Radiation Conscious) and are proudly Made in India.

Our ISO 13485-certified manufacturing facility, combined with our products holding international certifications from the US FDA and CE, affirms our expertise as a leading manufacturer specializing in high-end medical devices for radiology and imaging solutions. Its business operations range from High-frequency X-ray, Digital Radiography System, C-Arm, Tele-Radiology, Telemedicine, Home Health, and M-health Solutions and Accessories.

Click the links to Know More about Prognosys Medical Systems Product Range.

Contact us for more information:

– Content Team Prognosys Medical Systems marketing@prognosysmedical.com

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Hernias in Children: Signs, Symptoms, and Treatment

Hernias are a common medical condition that can affect individuals of all ages, including children. Pediatric hernia is a common condition where a child's tissue pushes through a weak spot in their muscles. In India, the prevalence of hernias in children varies depending on the type and region. For example, inguinal hernias in children range from 0.8% to 5% in full-term babies. In pre-term and low-birth-weight babies, it can be as high as 20-30%.

In this blog, we will be discussing the signs, symptoms, and treatment options for hernias in children, which are essential for parents and caregivers to understand. Early diagnosis and proper child hernia treatment are important to help children recover quickly and avoid future problems. So, let’s start with a fresh understanding of what a hernia is.

What is a Hernia?

A hernia occurs when an organ or tissue pushes through a weak spot or opening in the muscle or tissue that holds it in place. Inguinal and umbilical hernias are the most common types found in children.

Inguinal Hernia: This type of hernia occurs in the groin when a portion of the intestine or fat bulges through a weak spot in the abdominal wall. It is more often seen in boys than in girls.

Umbilical Hernia: This type of hernia occurs when a section of the intestine or fatty tissue pushes through the abdominal wall near the belly button. This type of hernia is very common in newborns and infants.

Signs and Symptoms

Recognising the signs and symptoms of hernias in children is crucial for timely intervention. Common signs and symptoms include:

Visible Bulge: A noticeable bulge or swelling in the groin or near the belly button. This bulge may become more apparent when the child is crying, coughing, or straining.

Pain or Discomfort: Children with hernias may experience pain or discomfort in the affected area, especially when engaging in physical activities or straining.

Tenderness: The bulge may be tender to the touch, and the child may react with discomfort when the area is pressed.

Vomiting: In severe cases, a hernia can cause nausea and vomiting, particularly if the hernia becomes strangulated (when the blood supply to the protruding tissue is cut off).

Diagnosis

If you suspect your child has a hernia, it is essential to seek medical attention promptly. A healthcare provider will typically perform a physical examination to diagnose the condition. In some cases, imaging studies such as ultrasound or X-rays may be required to confirm the diagnosis and assess the severity of the hernia.

Treatment Options

The treatment for hernias in children depends on the type and severity of the hernia. Common treatment options include:

Watchful Waiting: For small umbilical hernias, especially in infants, doctors might recommend a "watchful waiting" approach. This means keeping an eye on the hernia without immediate surgery. Here's what this involves:

Regular Check-Ups: The child's doctor will check the hernia regularly to ensure it's not causing problems. Parents will be taught what signs to look for at home, such as increased swelling or pain.

Guidance for Parents: Parents will get tips on how to support their child during this time, like avoiding activities that could strain the belly muscles and make the hernia worse.

Follow-Up Appointments: Regular visits to the doctor are crucial to see if the hernia is getting better on its own or if a different treatment is needed.

Surgical Repair: Surgery is often needed for inguinal hernias and larger umbilical hernias that don't get better on their own. Surgery helps prevent problems like the hernia getting stuck or cutting off the blood supply. 

The surgical process typically includes:

Pre-Surgery Check: Before surgery, the child will have a health check to ensure they are fit for the procedure. This might include blood tests and other exams.

Anaesthesia: The child will be given medicine to make them sleep and not feel pain during the surgery.

The Surgery

Inguinal Hernias: These hernias do not heal on their own and must be repaired surgically to prevent intestinal strangulation or incarceration. The surgery called a herniorrhaphy, is recommended for all pediatric patients with inguinal hernias. During the surgery, the doctor makes a small cut in the groin, pushes the hernia contents back into the abdomen, and then stitches the opening shut. Inguinal hernias can be repaired through an open herniorrhaphy (an incision in the groin) or using a minimally invasive approach (laparoscopic herniorrhaphy).

PIRS (Percutaneous Internal Ring Suturing) is a minimally invasive technique for repairing inguinal hernias by suturing the internal ring, often resulting in less scarring and quicker recovery; a study shows it is better than open repair for children as it allows checking both sides in one session and results in smaller scars.

Umbilical Hernias: The surgeon makes a small cut near the belly button, pushes the bulging tissue back into place, and fixes the weak spot in the muscle.

After Surgery Care: After the surgery, the child will be watched until they wake up from the anesthesia. Parents will get instructions on how to care for the child at home, including how to manage any pain and care for the cut area. Most children can go back to their usual activities within a few days to a week, but should avoid heavy activity for a while.

Follow-Up Appointments: Follow-up visits with the doctor are important to make sure the child is healing well and to address any concerns. Surgery for hernias in children is generally safe and successful, allowing them to return to their normal activities and enjoy a healthy life.

Conclusion

Hernias in children is a common condition that can cause discomfort and concern for parents. Understanding the signs, symptoms, and treatment options is essential for ensuring prompt and effective care. If you suspect your child has a hernia, consult a healthcare provider for an accurate diagnosis and appropriate management. Early intervention can prevent complications and help your child lead a healthy and active life.

For parents seeking hernia treatment in Delhi, there are many qualified healthcare providers available. Hernia surgery in Delhi is generally safe and successful, providing children with the opportunity to return to their normal activities and enjoy a healthy life. You can check out MASSH for more information about hernia treatment for children. We offer specialised minimally invasive surgical treatment options that are low-risk and have quick recovery option for your children. Request a call back on our website today and consult with our specialists to learn more about hernia treatment and preventative measures.

Source: https://massh.in/