#aaauuuughhhh

[ask-grubquius]

Hey there kiddo. You doing alright? Hope you are. I gotta ask, is your lusus single?

“Oh! Gee millikers, ah… Equius is not here right now, unfortunately, but I presume that he’s doing well. As for myself, uhm… I am… very much single. I’m afraid I’ve been too busy with both of the grubs to consider any kind of romance.”

[pinkc1garette]

was amazing you know

[jester-jpeg]

i can’t tell if i want to do an insanely arduous and time consuming craft or take a nap

[slightlyplant]

THEY PUT A STRIKE ON MY CHANNEL FOR THE DOMI VIDEO ESSAY??????? ITS LITERALLY FAIR USE ITS ENTIRELY COMMENTARY

[trillscienceofficer]

idk if you’ve seen this post but it very much made me think of b’elanna and a lot of the conversations we’ve been having about her recently: www(.)tumblr(.)com/weltenwellen/614081842448056320/lindsay-c-gibson-adult-children-of-emotionally

Thank you for bringing this to my attention, this quote is SURE relevant to B'Elanna (here in plain text):

Not Trusting Your Instincts Emotionally immature parents don't know how to validate their child's feelings and instincts. Without this validation, children learn to give in to what others seem sure about. As adults, they may deny their instincts to the point where they acquiesce to relationships they don't really want. They may then believe it's up to them to make the relationship work. They may rationalize why they have to try so hard in the relationship, as though it were normal to struggle daily to get along with your mate. While effort is needed to maintain communication and connection in a relationship, it shouldn't feel like constant, unrewarding work. The truth is, if both partners fit each other, understand each other's feelings, and are positive and supportive, relationships are primarily pleasurable, not arduous. It isn't asking too much to generally feel happy when you see your partner or look forward to time together. When people say, "You can't have everything," they're really saying they don't have what they need.

As a human being, you can trust yourself to l know when you're emotionally satisfied. You know I when you've been given full measure. You aren't a bottomless pits of ceaseless demands. You can trust the inner prompts that tell you when something is missing. But if you've been trained to discount your feelings, you'll feel guilty for complaining if everything looks okay on the outside. If you have a place to live, a regular paycheck, enough food, and a partner or friends, conventional wisdom says, "How bad can it be?" Many people can readily enumerate all the reasons why they should be satisfied and be shy about admitting that they aren't. They blame themselves for not having the "right" feelings.

— Lindsay C. Gibson, “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents”

You're right, this is B'Elanna in a nutshell. The constant racial stereotyping she was subjected to and the fact that her own father bought into it really did a number on B'Elanna's self-esteem. So many of her childhood memories revolve around people goading her into a reaction then berate her for her anger once she finally snapped. It's like she was gaslighted into believing that every single one of her feelings was unreasonable, and therefore now she doesn't trust herself when it comes to evaluating how she fits within any social structure, deferring to the opinion of others.

This is most obvious in her relationship with Tom (honestly, this quote describes their relationship so well it's kind of uncanny) but I'd argue that B'Elanna trying to get into Starfleet only to quit the Academy is a twisted symptom of this as well—she didn't trust herself enough to know whether she could actually graduate, so she believed the people who told her she would never make it (and never mind the fact that in reality the Starfleet instructors were impressed with her—rattling cages doesn't work with everyone and was clearly NOT what B'Elanna needed).

And in “Drive” we see this coming back with a vengeance, she doesn't trust herself enough to call it quits with Tom and when he eventually proposes she just... goes along with it, mixed feelings suddenly irrelevant in the face of someone else's (apparent) convictions. I think Tom has similar issue as well so this is truly a 'but who's driving the car??' situation, they're both thinking that the other wants it more than they do and that they don't actually deserve any better!

(ETA: frankly their entire relationship started this way too, like... with all the alien crap making a latent attraction actually become overt in a way they wouldn't have chosen otherwise, B'Elanna and Tom practically pulled each other into a relationship)

I also think this is why B'Elanna seems to latch onto authority figures (like Chakotay and Janeway) so readily, though she would never admit it. It's a way for her to figure out what's the 'correct' way to interface with other people, so she can orient her feelings towards fitting into any expectation they might have. Of course that never really works out as well as she'd like because she is an actual person, and one with many feelings and opinions, even if she's spent so many years running away from them. And running away from feelings is sure another one of B'Elanna's traits (it's the entire plot of “Extreme Risk”).

The part of that quote about parents not validating their children's feelings makes me now wonder about what would've happened if B'Elanna had had parents who consistently and explicitly supported her, and made sure she understood that she was not overreacting when she was being bullied. Mostly if she'd had a father who didn't suck so bad; I think Miral tried in her own way to support her daughter as best as she could, although she was completely isolated and probably dealing with a lot of self-doubt of her own in the middle of a crumbling relationship. I'm not so naive to believe that better parenting would've solved every single one of B'Elanna's issues (you can't just wish away the impact that racism has on children, unfortunately), but she would probably be better equipped to trust herself and her own emotions than she is on the show, at least.

[memekeymouse]

Do you know about the oswald show

Do you know how gay it is

Oswalds and cliffs dynamic being based on the tortoise and the hare is gay as hell

I heard about the storyboards for the first ep being leaked but when I tried to watch it I couldn’t hear anything so I didn’t get very far. Not sure what was up with that

I heard about Cliff though!!! All I can say about that is

Mickey: gee ozzy how come you have two husbands AND two wives

Oswald, holding hands with Ortensia, Fanny, Felix and Cliff: 🧍‍♂️

[jjohhuii]

😔 <- guy who didnt finish his miku bday art on time

[itsallwearecalledtodo]

I’m reading persuasion rn and there are sooooo many songs on speak now that fit so well

[windmill-ghost]

I want to draw but I don't want to draw anything. This is the opposite of my usual state (my mind is full of images I desperately want to manifest but I don't have the energy) but the result is ultimately the same.

[robotsafari]

IM GOING TO KILL WHOEVER CHARTED ENTER THE DARKNESS ON PROUD MODE

[cosmicccowboy0]

OOOOH MY GOODNESS AAAAAUUGH THIS IS SO CUTE!!!!🫂🫂❤️❤️ I LOVE THIS SM😭😭❤️❤️ Thank you so so much for drawing my au!!🫂

Florist sam!!

I believe the og was by @cosmicccowboy0 , so credit to them 😋

Edit: I messed up some layers but it's midnight and my program is lagging so I'm leaving it

[teddybeartoji]

lets pretend that i didnt lost this and had to retype it

listen me listen me right !!! back to wolf toji and bunny reader with shiu as the caretaker that lets toji get away with too much but also loves spoiling you bc your just so sweet and adorable

one day, shiu comes home after running errands and tells you and toji that he got a collar to help with toji's biting problem since he knows the both of you will be going into heat soon and he doesn't want toji biting you like a chew toy

toji's grumbling, snarling at shiu that he's not putting on a damn collar but he's confused at the tiny pink thing shiu pulls out. its a cute pink collar, thick but with soft cushioning on the inside a big heart ring in the front. probably for a leash or something, but toji knows that thing isnt going to fit on him.

"it's not for you, mutt," shiu grins playfully, ignoring the glare toji shoots his way at the nickname. instead, he walks up to you and clicks the collar on you, stroking your hair as he coos at how pretty it looks on you !! "its so that if the big guy goes into rut while im away, he wont rip into your throat because he can't think with the right head," shiu jokes, flicking tojis nose.

but a week had passed since then and you had come to like the collar. not just because of how toji would tug on it to pull you into a kiss or how shiu would tug it to get your attention on him when you were fixated on something else. no, it just looked pretty on you!!

one day ur left at home with toji while shiu goes out for the day for business stuff, whatever boring things he had to do. that poor man didnt realize you were going to literally get turned into a creampuff with in 30 minutes of him leaving

toji is INSTANTLY on you when he realizes shiu is gone. poor thing is too rut-brained that he cant even figure out how to get the collar off so he's just gnawing on it, sinking his teeth into the leather as he growls about how stupid the collar is for covering up your pretty neck from him, that shiu doesn't know what he's talking about, all while he's ripping off your clothes.

shiu told the BOTH of you to let him know if either of you go into heat so he can come home and be a good caretaker and make sure you both are still eating and drinking water and that toji doesn't accidentally bite his cute lil' bun too hard anywhere. so, he expects you to tell him to calm down and wait for shiu to get home like a good little bunny, but instead you just look at him over your shoulder with the cutest little pout and tell him 'jus' the tip won't get us in trouble, right?'

and he tries, he tries soooo hard, just fucking his tip in and out of you but then you get pushed into your own heat and you go from reminding him only the tip to 'why aren't you putting in more?? do i not feel good enough??? why dont u wanna be all the way inside me toj???'

and he's shutting you up with one thrust to push all the way inside, shushing you through huffs and growls, telling you he'd stay inside of your sticky cunt for the rest of his life if he could, that you were so hot and wet just for him and he never wanted to pull out of you, keep you nice and stuffed full of his cock and cum until your tummy gets a little bigger from how full he's pumped you with his seed

cue shiu coming home to the two of you fucking like animals (hehe) on the living room couch, your face pushed into the cushions and ears flopped down while your little cotton tail is swishing around like crazy, hearts practically in your eyes when you realize shiu's home, because now he can watch and see how good toji is, see that the big wolf should be able to bite you because hes so good, he's fucking you so deep.

plus, you'd look even prettier with toji's bite on your neck instead of a collar :33

I AM LOSING MY MINDDDD

LUNNNIEEEE????!!!!?!?!??!!!????? HAKDJSJWJFVDKDNEJ YOU'RE AMAZING YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY INSANE AND I LOVE YOU. FIRST OF ALLLLL OMFG I JUST KNOW SHIU COULD NEVER SAY NO TO YOUU AAAUUUUGHHHH YOU FLUTTER YOUR EYELASHES AT HIM AND HE'S ALREADY FOLDING (AND TWITCHING IN HIS PANTS)(HE'S SO WEAK)(HE'S SO HOT). SECOND OFF AAALLLLLLLL... "GET TURNED INTO A CREAMPUFF"😭😭😭PLS THAT MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD I ADORE U SO MUCH<333

AND MMMMMMMMM TOJI'S DIRTY TALK ALWAYS FUCKING KILLSSS MEEEE FFFFUUUUUCCKKKKKKK "HE'D STAY INSIDE OF YOUR STICKY CUNT FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE IF HE COULD" 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴 WHATTHE FCUUUKKKKK WAIT ANDAND THE MEAN GRIN HE'D GIVE SHIU??????? HE CAN SEE THAT SHIU IS HARD JUST FROM WATCHING TOJI FUCK YOUR BRAINS OUT AND IT'S ALL JUST SOOOOOOOO🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴

THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR THIS FUCKIN GMEAL IDK WHAT I DID TO DESERVE YOUU HOOLY FUCKKKK<3333

[blujayonthewing]

update this cutscene has removed the 'I think we should get to know each other better' dialogue option from shadowheart altogether so now I've reloaded to just before the long rest and I'm Agonizing

juniper: [delicately and VERY slowly working through the whole complicated situation with shadowheart in a ginger slowburn]

karlach to june, three(3) days after meeting her: GODS I wanna ride you til you see stars

[alpenglw]

Friday Night Music Tag Except It's Not Friday Anymore SORRYYYYY

tagged by @birgdets!!! the rules are to put your spotify "on repeat" playlist on shuffle and write down the first 10 songs that come on. and then tag 10 people!!!

oh how fun... it is just like 2009 deviantart... ough the old days of journals and chains etc.... YIPPEE

You Come Down - Marika Hackman // this is my song for imagining lesbian nuns kissing to. drives me CRAAAZYYYYYY!!!! blood??? thorny crowns???? cannibalism mention???? daffodils mention???? "but you could always make me hurt"??????? AAAUUUUGHHHH

Two Time - Jack Stauber // sorry. sorry. sorry. it's just a fun song okay. i'll have you know i did NOT find it on tiktok, i found it through FURRY ANIMATIONS

Out Like a Light 2 - The Honeysticks, Ricky Montgomery // ough o-|-< ever since roo sent me this as a birdie song i've been obsessed with it. thank you roo. it is such a lovely song

Mother Mother - Tracy Bonham // this one is 100% because of luci. i had barely ever listened to this song until like last week

Show You a Body - Haley Heynderickx // ough o-|-< this song makes me feel some sort of way. sends shivers down my spine. absolutely haunting song. man

Cannibal - Marika Hackman // um sorry i like marika hackman's cannibal themed music a lot. anyway this one is berhta's psychosis song

Mt. St. Helens - Mirah // i love this song... ough. reminds me of so many ocs and i also just think it's a nice fun song. reminds me a little bit of hop along's music. idk mirah's sexuality but this song is about yuri to me

Divine Loser - Clem Turner // YIPPEE this song is very slow but the rhythm is very soothing to me... huge fan of this one. i like it a lot

Grim Reaper - Suzi Wu // GRRRR BARK BARK BARK SUZI WUUU UGH THIS SONG MAKES ME MAD. huge warlock song for me.

rises the moon - Liana Flores // ugh this song makes me nostalgic for summer. and kind of just nostalgic in general. man. makes me think of growing up in socal o-|-<

this list ended up being very soft and indie leaning but i'll let you know that It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's A Fucking Deathwish by My Chemical Romance was song number 11. so whatever

idk if i know enough people on this website to tag 10 of them. @wingedog @rookruffs @mosasaura @ti-me-lo-rd @starleafsun @silver-falling-star @bori-cha @s4lmonsk1n @leafo-supreme @pmd3

[worthamilliontears]

I love carti so much aaauuuughhhh

[absolutelyzoned]

THIS SOMG HAS BEEN STUCK IN MY HEAD ALL FUCKING DAY. AAAUUUUGHHHH