#aaaaand why the hell I am writing so much in the tags

[driftwithme]

If Raleigh and Chuck ever kissed, they would be utterly convinced due the intensity of the sensation/emotions that Mako and Herc felt it through ghost drifting or something.

In fact, they are just acting so stupid anyone can tell. Have you ever seen ranger Becket and ranger Hansen son act like teens in love? At the same time?

Everyone knows 'cause the Shatterdome fuel is gossip and they are bored, okay? It's been years since a real ranger drama. Since the golden years, actually. They have to give it to Raleigh Becket and his tendency of making it all more interesting but not giving two fucks before stirring things up.

[crypticcodexcreations]

Get to Know Me Tag!

A big thanks to @blind-the-winds for tagging me in this!

Rules: answer the questions and tag nine people you want to know better

Favorite Color: Oh my god don't ask a former graphic design student this lol The fun part of this question is that it really really depends. And yes, I know that's me overthinking this question, but I'm a chronic over thinker. But like, my Switch is yellow because I love yellow, but a lot of my clothes are black because it's the color I love to wear, etc. I think I'm going to make this simple and also be a cop out and say rainbow. Rainbow is my favorite color

Currently Reading: It's been a bit since I picked up any of the books I currently have progress on tbh, but the most recent one I made progress on is the first in a trilogy from my childhood that I thought might be fun to re-read May Bird and the Ever After by Jodi Lynn Anderson. I read the whole series as a kid and absolutely adored it. Going back now as an adult aaaaand... I don't think I would enjoy it if not for the nostalgia factor. It's not bad, in my opinion or anything, but it just wasn't written for adults, and that's OK! The world building is really interesting though! And looking back, the build up of one of the main plot points is really nice. They're really vague about why cats have been banned from the Ever After, and remembering the why has me giggling every time it comes up!

I also saw someone, I can't remember who, but I think it was @sleepyowlwrites , mention the Chronicles of the Imaginarium Geographica recently, so the three books I have in that series are sitting on my desk waiting for me to go back to those, as they were also a big part of my childhood. So I'll probably be reading that soon.

Last Song: Ah, the curse of getting to this while listening to music. Currently playing in the background of me typing this is a nightcore cover of Pretty Little Psycho according to the video it's attached to.

Last Series: It has been quite some time since I sat down and tried to watch any series. My little ADHD* brain has had no focus for watching much of anything recently so I think the last series I watched was Bungo Stray Dogs. AND I am not caught up on the anime either.

*Note: That is a guess on what's going on in my brain. Please do not take this as an invitation to ask me about ADHD.

Last Movie: Pretty sure this has been even longer than watching any series of any kind. However, I think it was the Gene Wilder Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory movie because my fiance had not seen it and that's a crime that had to be fixed.

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: Savory. I can only have sweet things in smaller doses otherwise my tastebuds get overwhelmed and the only proper pain foods are sour ones. Spicy burns and it's not a fun pain for me. Sour is the fun pain.

Currently Working On: Technically, all of my projects are being juggled right now, but with all of them having something that my makes my brain not want to work on them, I'd say what I'm actually working on is keeping my brain from making what I call "Avoidance Projects" What that means is this: Hell's Casino, Cross Over, and The Stories Beneath the Stars all have some sort of basis, having been thought about for a while. "Avoidance Projects" are spur of the moment decisions of what to write about. I may have thought about a character or two for them in the past, but they have no plot thought out ahead of time. My brain likes to start them when I'm frustrated with my current writing and they often end up going nowhere and being forgotten about quickly. So, for now I'm trying to convince my brain to put a pin in them and come back to them when they can have proper attention.

And now! I'm gonna go ahead and tag @calicojackofficial @midnight-and-his-melodiverse @the-finch-address @jezifster @fearofahumanplanet and leave an open tag to anyone else who'd like to do this as well!

[random-mha-thoughts]

Bad Boy (Todoroki x Reader)

Pairing: Todoroki x Reader

Genre: Angst to fluff, and a lil spice ;), No quirk!AU

Summary: You finally get to see your childhood friend Shouto after years of being separated only to find out he’s completely changed.

BGM: “Younger” by Ruel

Word count: 2,781

Tags:  @yuki-osaki​ @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​ @bunnythepipsqueak​

a/n: God this photo fucked me up good when I first saw it.

I saw this picture on my search for images for my last Todo post aaaaand yeah, pretty self explanatory. I got to thinking, what if this poor baby finally snapped one day and was like "FUCK ENDEAVOR AND HIS ENTIRE PROGRAM, IM NOBODY'S MASTERPIECE" and he went the complete opposite direction. So enjoy a little bit of OOC Todoroki and a bit of a longer post than my usual stuff!

I’m really really sorry about not updating in the past few days.  I was really swamped by college work and studying, and I was mentally exhausted and physically tired every day.  Today wasn’t my day and I almost had a breakdown because a lot of things piled up in me, but I had to pull myself together somehow.  Hopefully, after this week, I’ll go back to a somewhat regular posting schedule.  Thanks for being patient with me guys, I really appreciate it :)

When my mom told me Shouto will be going to the same high school as me, I was expecting the same buttoned-up, shy, good boy from elementary school.  Oh boy, was I wrong.

The boy I bump into in the hallway definitely looks like Shouto, but the only thing that's the same is his mismatched hair and eyes.  Everything else about him was much different.  His entire energy was different, even from the fraction of a second I focused on his face.

"Shouto?" I call when he's about to brush past me.

I don't think he's expecting someone to know him on the first day, pausing and looking down curiously.

The most shocking feature of all is the scar on his left side, a red blotch that covers the left side of his face, starkly contrasting his brilliant turquoise eye; a single ray of light in a scarlet sky.

As I'm gaping at the puckered skin, his eyebrows furrowing at my face as recognition slowly dawns on him.  "(Y/n)?"

I'm relieved that he at least remembers me.  "Yeah, hey."  I don't really know what to do now.  My first instinct is to hug him, but something tells me he isn't a fan of that sort of thing anymore.  There's a coldness between us that's thick as a knife.  "How have you been?"

"Fine," he answers curtly.  His hands are stuffed into his pockets, leaning back in a way that seems uncharacteristic of him and more like a ruffian.

Does his not want to talk to me?  I don't blame him, I haven't been in his life for a good eight years.  "How are your parents?"

His jaw clenches.  "Fine."

Oh.  I struck a nerve.  "Do you wanna catch up at lunch?  What class are you in?"

"1-A."  Overjoyed that we share the same class, I'm about to open my mouth, but he interjects, "But I don't think we should talk."  That was the last thing he said before he strolls past me.

I'm stunned, following his receding back through the sea of students.  I guess I shouldn't have brought up his parents when I know it's a sensitive topic, but I didn't know what else to say.  And it's probably awkward to see someone you used to be close to talk to you again, but the least he could've been is polite.  That's saying something, because Shouto was always the polite child.

Something is terribly wrong here.

Shouto has definitely changed since we were younger.  He's become a delinquent.

He never even shows up to class.  After our little encounter, he was slumped in his seat until the teacher finished role call, then he just got up and walked out in the middle of class and never came back.  In all the days after that, his seat remained empty even at the beginning of the day.

At first, I gave him the benefit of the doubt.  What if he happened to get sick and had to stay home?  Then I saw his signature mismatched tuft of hair walking back home in the school yard, and I knew he was skipping.

After a whole two weeks passed of him skipping, I had enough.  The Shouto I know would never cut class even if his life depended on it.  During lunch, I went looking for him in the group of other delinquent kids in the back of the school.

"Todoroki?" the ash-blond ringleader ruffles his hair and scoffs, "Idiot must be off somewhere by himself like the damn loner he is.  He picked a fight with me and I almost beat his ass into oblivion!"

I ball my fists up, more angry at Shouto than the group of boys eyeing me like a pack of wolves.  "You guys are useless," I mumble, about to turn away from them.

"Aww, is he your boyfriend, sweetie?" the honey blond with a black streak in his hair smoothly wraps an arm around me.  "He probably doesn't care about you, you deserve someone else who'll give you his time."

"Fuck off, who said you can touch me?"  I shove his arm away and step back.

"Calm down there," the red head with sharp teeth taunts with a smirk, "You're getting a bit defensive.  You sure you don't need help looking for your little prince?"

"I'm fine on my own, thanks," I huff, turning around to go look for Shouto elsewhere.

"Maybe I'll come with you," the overly-friendly boy blocks my way again.  "If he's not your boyfriend, maybe we can get together sometime?"

"Not interested.  Out of my way, Pikachu reject."  I try to side-step him, but the leader grabs the back of my collar and whips me around so I'm face to face with his bared teeth.

"You're a bit rude, aren't you?  Should I pull your head out your ass for you?"  His crimson eyes glare his murderous intent into me.

I hold my ground, the anger against my irresponsible friend more powerful than any fear of this hothead possibly hurting me.  "Don't act so tough if your talk is cheap."

He cracks his knuckles without breaking eye contact with me.  "I'll show you cheap talk.  Try waking up next week after I'm done with you!" he snarls.

I mirror his expression.  I don't mind throwing hands at this guy if I have to, blood rushing through me to prepare for the fist fight.  "I dare you-!"

"Enough, (Y/n)."

I can feel his presence right behind me even though he doesn't physically touch me.

Scarlet eyes shift behind me.  "Took you long enough, hot shot.  Your friend has just as much spunk as you, I'll kick both your asses!"

"I'd like to see you try, Bakugou," Shouto responds coldly.  "We both know who'd win."  Keeping his gaze locked on the aggressive male, he harshly grabs my arm and hauls me away.  "Let's go."

I'm fuming with anger when we're back inside the building.  I turn on him when he finally releases me, but he's already starting down the hall.  "Don't walk away from me!  We need to talk!"  I stomp over, following him to an abandoned classroom.  "What the hell is wrong with you?!  First of all, you were a real ass when I talked to you last week.  Second of all, you're not even coming to class like you should.  And now you're already picking fights with that idiot out there?  What's gotten into you Shouto?!"

"You were about to get into a fight as well.  You should thank me," he comments coldly, slipping into a desk with books open on top.

"I could've handled it just fine without you!  The only reason I was even there talking to them was because I was looking for you!"  I hover over him, glaring down so he can tell how angry I am.  "You'e skipped class all week, this isn't like you at all!  How are you supposed to catch-?"

One glance down the the open books shows all the material we've been going over in class.  He's already caught up to today's lesson, writing notes in his book and ignoring my presence.  The entire setup makes me angrier.  "I don't understand you, Shouto.  What kind of act are you trying to pull?  You're not a delinquent, why are you trying to act like one for everyone else?   Or is this all because you're just trying to ignore me?"

His pencil stops moving and it slams down onto the desk.  "A lot happened since you left, (Y/n)," the boy responds.  His quivering voice indicates restriction of intense emotion.

The hurt is apparent across his entire face, calming me down.  My gaze lingers on the left side of his features, over the eye that somehow looks perpetually sad.  "How did you get that scar, Shouto?"

The boy's eyebrows furrow.  "My father never let up on me after you left, and he got worse.  My mother couldn't handle fighting him on her own anymore.  One day, she snapped, told me how unsightly my left side was, and pouring boiling water over my face."  His large hand gingerly covers his reddened skin.  "And my bastard father put her in a mental institution after that.  He did this."

My heart aches for my childhood friend, the boy I took care of and listened to all his problems.  I can't imagine how much pain Rei was going through.  For her to have lost it, she must've held such a heavy burden.  When I had to move away, I felt so guilty about leaving him with all his troubles.  He had no one else to reach out to and it was snatched from him.  There wasn't a day I stopped thinking and worrying over him.  I reach to take his hand and offer comfort.  "Shou-"

Shouto bolts up from his seat, his taller figure hunching over mine, features screwed up in distaste.  "You weren't there when I needed you most."

I'm taken back, hurt more than anything.  "It's not my fault, we were so much younger, I didn't have a choice but to go with my parents."

A dark chuckle erupts from his lips, dismissing my excuses.  "It's fine.  It happened, I've learned to deal with it."

I'm about to blow my top with this kid.  "Yeah, you've dealt really well, haven't you?" I roll my eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

My mouth gapes, letting out a sputtered scoff.  "You're kidding.  Just look at you!  You're pretending to be someone you're not!  You and I both know you were never the bad boy type when we were kids.  You're the slightly awkward, naturally smart, driven, hardworking-"

"I was only those things because my father forced them on me," he passes by me, crossing his arms.  "I don't want to be anything that bastard wants anymore.  And if you can't see that, then we were never friends in the first place."

That's a stab in the chest.  How can he say that we were never friends when we used to do everything together?  A surge of fury rushing through me, I grab his arm to keep him from moving any farther.  "You love watching superhero cartoons, your favorite was All Might.  Sometimes, you're so damn lazy that instead of doing homework when you came home, you would sneak in a nap before your dad came home to see you slacking off.  Your favorite food in the entire world is cold soba.  You don't like extremely sweet desserts.  You've always been insecure about how strange your mismatched hair and eyes look, but I always had to assure you that you're still the most handsome guy in our class."

Shouto halfway turns around to look at me.

"If we weren't friends, why do I know so much about you?"  I take another bold step towards him, softening at the underlying pain etched into his features.  "I know you always hated the way your dad expects so much from you.  The only thing you ever wanted in your childhood was to be normal.  The pressure finally crumbled down on you and your mom, and I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you through it.  But you shouldn't abandon everything that you are.  You took after your mom more than your dad; you're sometimes a sassy son of a bitch, but you're kind and have a deep respect for people you admire.  You have a natural sense of humor that you don't even know you have.  You care about the people you're close to, you only struggle with communicating how you feel sometimes."

His lips part slightly, processing everything I just showered onto him.  Guilt eventually creeps up on him, choosing to rub the back of his neck.  "You...always did know just what to say."

I smirk and engulf him into my long-awaited hug.  "Who else would put you back in your place?"

His arms hesitantly wrap around my body, the act of sharing body warmth strange yet familiar to him.  It's a small victory, but I'm relieved that we're back on speaking terms.  I'm ready to resume protecting him as I should.

Shouto shifts in our embrace.  "You said...I struggle with telling people how I feel...?" he mumbles sheepishly near my ear.

My boy perks with confusion.  "Yeah, even when we first-"

"Would it suffice if..."

Before I can turn to search his face for what he could be implying, his grip around me loosens as he pulls back to look at me, one of his warm hands resting against my cheek.  His face looms right in front of me, my breath catching in surprise, before he presses his lips to mine softly.  The weightlessness in my stomach is unmistakable.

As quick and unexpected as it came, it also left, Shouto's half lidded gaze resting on me from a small distance away.  All I can do is stare off dazed, still trying to process what just happened.

He leans back against the nearest desk in the front row.  "I guess I should've asked first."  I can see his cheeks and his ears turn almost as flushed as the color of his hair despite his hand covering half his face to hide it.  "But it was the only way I can think to get my point across without stumbling over words."

My heart still flutters trying to recover back to normal, my knees shaking as I lean against the teacher's desk for stability.  I resist the urge to touch my lips like a shocked schoolgirl, but I'm still trying to process the whole thing.  "You know," I cough, "We did already kiss when we were like...five, so this wasn't really our first.  But I don't usually count that-"

The intense color fades from his face almost at once, a darkness creeping into his gaze.  "Then," he pins me back into the desk, hands on both sides of the wood to trap me, "I shouldn't have any qualms about doing it again."

Contrasting from his strong setup, his next kiss is still shy and hesitant.  After exchanging a couple more tentative lip-caresses that still make my head spin, he's gotten his feet wet enough to go harder, establishing a rhythm between us.  As his kisses intensify, his hands reach up to cup both sides of my nape, fingers tangling in my hair desperately and tilting my head up for a better angle.  My own hands grasp the collar of his uniform, pulling him closer into the heat of the moment.

His body pushes me practically into sitting on top of the desk, moving one of his knees between my legs as he lets ones of his hands roam down to grip my waist.  The sudden tug elicits a minute gasp, allowing Shouto to nip at my bottom lip before tugging my head back to trail soft kisses down my jaw.  My fingers thread through his soft locks, letting him massage my neck with his mouth.

"W-Where did you learn all this?" I breathe out unsteadily, my breath refusing to return.

He straightens up and captures my lips in another slow kiss.  "You'll never know."  Another one.  "I've admittedly imagined this for a while."  The next kiss is much deeper, a hum vibrating from his chest as his fingers dig into my side again.  "You're special, so dear."  His mumbles between kisses become more incoherent as his kisses become messy.

"Shouto."  I finally manage to push him away for me to breathe and calm my dizzy head.  Both of us are panting.  His half-lidded eyes and flushed face tempt me, but the fear of someone walking by suddenly alerts in my mind.  "Someone might see us.  Besides, isn't there something you need to say?"

His brow lifts.  "I'm...sorry for being rude to you last week."

"That was needed, too," I chuckle, "But there's something else."

Confusion crosses his features.  "Have I done something else wrong?"

My hands slide down to grip his hands.  "Don't you need to ask me to date you officially?"

The tint of rose on his cheeks intensifies a shade.  "I thought it was clear already..."

Another chuckle bubbles from my lips and I lean up to kiss his warm cheek.  "I'll let it pass because I want to date you too."  His face begins to light up in joy, but I push off from the desk and tow him out of the room.  "But you have to start coming to class again."

Shouto catches up to keep pace with me and presses a kiss to my forehead.  "Done."

"And you need to see a therapist, Mr. Bad Boy."

He breaks out into a smile at that nickname.  "I'll think about it."

[vveissesfleisch]

Last Line Tag

was tagged by @fuinixe (thank ya! <3) to post the last line i’ve written and tag others to do the same 

so, not be be real on main, but i had put my writing down for pretty much the entirety of december following the sudden & devastating loss of someone very close to me, but january has proven to be chock full of ideas and inspiration, so i’ve finally been getting back into it! the last line i wrote was in my old guard big bang fic which i want to keep completely under wraps until it posts, so i’ll hit you with some recent lines (aka paragraphs) from the second chapter of woodbine (which i know some folks have been waiting for patiently, thank you for dealing with me, the ultimate loose cannon!) and a little something else that has recently plagued/possessed me.

woodbine ch 2 (joe/nicky)

“Is that hot cocoa?”

Nile opens it and holds it under his nose. He sniffs, reeling immediately from the alcoholic vapor that all but singes his nose hairs. 

“Ah,” he says, eyes watering. “Definitely not.”

“Want some? It’ll keep you warm.”

“Sure, thanks.” He takes a careful swig before turning his eyes towards the field. Nicky spots Joe immediately, doing high-knees with Andy. He’s wearing a lime green jersey, like the rest of his teammates, with the number 13 on the back, black mesh shorts, knee-high lime green socks over his shin guards, and bright purple cleats. He’s also freed his hair from his endless assortment of ball caps, choosing instead to wrangle it with a violet sweatband. Nicky can’t tear his eyes away from his lustrous curls, bouncing sweetly with every movement, catching in the late autumn sun, his imagination running rampant with all the possible ways he could get his hands into that hair, bury his nose in it, drown in the scent of his sweat and shampoo...

aaaaand a little snippety snip of one of the last scenes in the fucking lawrusso fic i wrote in a fugue state that literally no one asked for:

“Where are you taking me?”

“Calm down, we’re almost there.”

“I hate this.”

“I know, just...come on, this way.”

“I can’t believe I agreed to this.”

“Me neither, but I promise it will all be worth it. Oop, watch your step... ‘scuse us, sorry...okay, we’re here.”

Daniel gently tugs Johnny’s flannel to stop him in his tracks before reaching up to untie the blindfold. Johnny looks around, completely disoriented.

“What is this place.” He squints in the too-bright light, eyes quickly widening in horror as he takes in the bustling shop, display after display of slim, colorful devices stretching out before him. “What is all this? Is this hell? Am I in hell?”

“This is the Apple store, Johnny.” 

Daniel can hear the gears turning in Johnny’s head before he lets out a derisive scoff. “Yeah, I know that, LaRusso. Why did you bring me here?”

and there you have it folks, two of the three things that have been consuming my brain! ! i’ll be posting both of these (probably in rapid succession) once i nail down the ending of this big bang, so buckle up, i guess! tagging anyone who’d like to do the thing!

[thisisallthehattersfault]

Write With Me - From Concept To Finished Draft part 4

(I know the last one was tagged as 3/3 and I said I’d see you guys at the end of the month but shhhhhh don’t worry about that.) So. Writing is hard. I know we all know that, but it always bares repeating. Writing is hard, and despite knowing exactly what happens in this fic, in what order, and why, I haven’t gotten a single word written for it. This happens to me sometimes -- I am super depressed and very unmedicated and it’s not unheard of for me to feel find myself in a situation where I have all the tools I need to succeed but just can’t seem to complete the task. So. Since just sitting down to write isn’t working, we’re gonna switch tactics.

Our skeleton gave us the major points of each chapter, and noted the important events that needed to take place. There is, however, still some empty space -- dialog and descriptions and actual scenes -- that need to be filled in. Yanno, the actual writing. Since I can’t seem to get any of that writing done, I’m gonna try something else.

Sometimes when I’m having a hard time getting proper writing done, I’ll do this thing I call “scripting.” Scripting is basically a very bare bones version of the chapter I’m working on. It’s not proper writing because I’m not worrying about descriptions, word choice, or sometimes even dialog, I’m just writing a step by step of what happens. Think of it kind of like the snowflake method -- you start with the simplest possible description of your novel, then gradually turn one sentence into a paragraph, into a page, into a dozen pages, into a book. In this case, I’ll be doing that for at least the first chapter and probably all ten, if this depressive episode keeps up as long as I think it’s probably gonna. Alright, let’s break it down. Here’s what I decided for chapter one when I made the skeleton.

Spinner is on the run from Overhaul’s goons. The setting and Spinner’s goal of tracking down and joining Stain are established. He’s nearly captured and dragged back to the freakshow when he literally runs into Shigaraki. 

Now I need to stretch this out into a script. Lemme see.

Cold open, Spinner sprinting through a city in the dead of night. He rushes into a busy street and is nearly hit by an oncoming car. He dodges and keeps running as people begin to scream behind him, shouting about the mutant and demanding someone call the police. He attempts to scale the side of an apartment building but his hands are injured and he slips on his own blood, crashing to the ground. The sound startles more than one person inside, who all look to see what the commotion is about and, upon seeing Spinner, start to freak out. Spinner forces himself to his feet despite having hurt his back in the fall and keeps running.

He eventually comes to a dead-end alley, pitch black and full of shady stores with plenty of places to hide. He ducks down and tries to catch his breath, mentally going over his plan of action and trying to figure out how to track down Stain. Just as Spinner has started to calm down, one of Overhaul’s thugs start calling for him. He holds his breath and curls up into a ball, hoping he won’t be seen, but he’s snatched up by a hand in his hair and dragged out of his hiding place. Panicked, Spinner lashes out and tries to claw at the person grabbing him, but his fingers have been filed to stubs and don’t do any damage. The thug taunts him, and two more appear at the end of the alley. He keeps thrashing and gets in a lucky hit, and once again tries to scale the building. This time he uses proper handholds in the worn brick and manages to get to the roof.

Spinner takes off preforming some very sloppy parkour, and blindly tries to lose the thugs chasing him. One of them pulls a dart gun and shoots at him. The first couple bullets miss, but eventually he’s hit, and as the tranquilizer starts to kick in he heads back for the ground rather than risk breaking his neck. Halfway there a wave of exhaustion once again sends him falling. This time he lands in the dumpster behind a seedy bar. He forces himself to stand, and starts to stagger towards the street, but the thugs again appear to block his path. Spinner turns around and tries to rush out the other side of the alley, but he’s surrounded. He starts to pound on the bar’s back door, knowing it’s hopeless and even if someone answers they won’t help him. Again, he’s taunted.

Just as he feels hands start to close over him, the door opens. Spinner falls forward again, and has a brief thought about how much that sucks. Facedown on the floor he doesn’t see who it was that answered, but he can hear other people standing, their chairs scraping, someone making a concerned noise. The person who opened the door says “Well now, what’s this?” in a scratchy voice. Spinner, half-unconscious, murmurs “Help. Please.” He passes out before he can hear if the person standing over him answered.

Aaaaand that was helpful for two reasons. The first, it gave me a more solid roadmap, scene-by-scene, of what happens in Chapter One. And two, it reveals a problem I honestly can’t believe I missed.

If Overhaul is the guy who owns the freakshow, then where the hell is Eri? I don’t want to just write her out. She needs to exist in some capacity. Honestly, I might end up completely rewriting the latter half of this fic. I knew something felt off, but I guess in my head Eri is Safe and Happy Now so the idea of her being back with Overhaul for this didn’t click for me. It makes more sense for her to be a priority instead of Ujiko like, randomly sending nomus after Shigaraki to test him or whatever. I bet if I go back to the drawing board and do some tweaking I’ll have an easier time getting the writing done.

Alright, guess I’m gonna scurry back into my office. Until next time!

[ain-t-bovvered]

15X11 Commentary

I’M AN ASSHOLE THAT FORGOT I STILL HAD THIS EPISODE TO FINISH LOL.

Bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

@smol-and-grumpy​​​ (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon​​​  (Kat)  

@waywardbaby​​  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)

Nat: 3

Nat: 2

Nat: 1

Nat: go

Giulia: lol that tapping tho

 Zee: The hissing again

Giulia: Didn t need the hiss

Nat: All good thing must come to an end

Nat: Ew

Giulia: This song tho

Nat: "Big Sam left Seattle"

Zee: He’s too mousy

Giulia: DADDY

Zee: Oh the snacc

Zee: Tf?

Nat: Ah

Giulia: AAAH JEEZ

Nat: Yum

Giulia: he had to have that deep voice. Damn

Nat: Who dat

Zee: Of course

Giulia: Yummy

Giulia: I hope the Winchester won’t kill him

Giulia: Wow

Zee: Ouch

Zee: Welcome

Giulia: MY BABY

Nat: Ah the other daddy

Giulia: LOVE HIM

Zee: When did his voice get so deep?

Nat: snorts, they really went right

Giulia: WHY DIDN T THEY USE THE PHONE

Zee: Silent mode

Nat: SILENT MODE IS ALWAYS AN OPTION.   I AGREE

Giulia: what a dad

Zee: Old school bitches

Nat: That smolder

Giulia: Change your diet

Zee: Damn. Does he really sound that deep?

Giulia: Jensen doesn t

Nat: Jensen doesn't but he does have a loud voice

Giulia: Compensating for last time’s kick

Giulia: HEWWO

Giulia: Agent Watts

Nat: Working a Case in Alaska

Giulia: Lizzo

Nat: I'm too old for this shit

 Zee: Jack

Giulia: AAAAAH BB

Nat: WHAT

Giulia: AWE BABE

Nat: BABY

Giulia: AWE

Giulia: DON T

Giulia: MY HEART

 Giulia: THAT FUCKING UGH

Giulia: WOW

 Nat: LOL

Zee: Stop shouting y’all

Nat: WE'RE ON A BUDGET

Giulia: wow

Nat: Two forks

Nat: awe

 Zee: Awe poor babies

Giulia: Snort he’s lactose intolerant 

Nat: I feel you Dean

Zee: Nuts is good

Giulia: Nuts is good

Giulia: Yeah

Nat: NUTS IS GOOD

Zee: He should shut his face

Giulia: Yeah you are

Giulia: THAT POUT

Nat: Sort of an accident. Yeah

Giulia: DEAN CONTROL YOUR FACE

Giulia: sounds like a job for them

 Nat: OH NO

Giulia: OH UH

Zee: He’s so done

Giulia: aaah not ready for cas reaction

Nat: CAS IS DONE

Giulia: AAAAH

Zee: I mean you can stab him but not baby

Zee: Oh shit

Nat: WHAT

Giulia: AW JACK

Nat: NO

Giulia: I DON T UNDERSTAND

Nat: WHY

Giulia: oh ok

Zee: A heart?

Nat: NO

Nat: JACK BB

Giulia: Lol those bar are always the same tho

Zee: Tf is that coin ?

Nat: Winchesters are broke

Zee: Two waters

Giulia: Waters

Nat: Two waters

Nat: PAX

Zee: Pax

Giulia: PAX

Nat: PAX THE SNAXX

Giulia: TO THE MAXX

Giulia: look at him

Nat: so deep

Zee: What she said

Giulia: He’s getting me distracted

Nat: touch it

Zee: Touch it

 Giulia: TOUCH IT

Nat: i'd love to

Giulia: don t mind if I do

Giulia: Average

Zee: Control your fucking lips

Nat: lol of course "keep playing"

Zee: Is this the deep voice ep?

Nat: It's probably a criteria to be cast

Giulia: Can he stop with his hands

Nat: I know

Giulia: When he was 4

Nat: Swinging clubs before you were born snorts

Zee: Between naps and snacks

Giulia: The triangle right

Nat: you saw it too. THANK GOD

Giulia: of course. 

My eyes went : ZOOOOOM

still me: 

Nat: I swear it was on purpose

Giulia: He’s so strong

Giulia: Oh

Zee: I think I miss important

Nat: What

Nat: that fucking smolder

Nat: stop your lips

Giulia: Yeah

Nat: fuck off

Giulia: What she doesn’t say

 Nat: oh oh

Giulia: I DON T LIKE IT

Zee: Lots of hands close-ups, I ain’t complaining

Giulia: ah

Giulia: Sam

Nat: Bundles of eggs?

Giulia: Witch hex bags

Giulia: IT’S REALLY NOT

Nat: ah

Zee: Does she really not know ?

Nat: OH, she knows

Giulia: Where is the snac

Zee: should have walked away

Zee: There’s one

Nat: What

Giulia: Ah

Giulia: MY OTHER BABY

Giulia: MURDER BABY

Nat: Wha does Jack want

Giulia: hearts

Zee: But why?

Nat: I'm on a roll

Zee: Sucks you in

Giulia: What he said

Nat: OnE mORe GamE

Giulia: I heard Daddy out of dean’s mouth and im not ok

Zee: I’m dying here

Giulia: NICE

Nat: He's so full of himself

Giulia: KICK MY ASS TOO

Giulia: SO COCKY

 Zee: Smack is better

Giulia: NO KICK IT

Nat: oh no

Giulia: AWE

Zee: Rodeo

Giulia: are we spending this whole ep with jazz music and pool

Nat: Sam so proud

Zee: Hell of an ep

Giulia: Stop that tongue

Nat: Apparently not

Nat: OH shit

Nat: He ded

Zee: The crinkles

Zee: I’m dead

Giulia: Dean will be happy

Nat: Dean won't like this. He just involuntarily killed a man

Giulia: Yup

Zee: Great

Nat: shit

Giulia: Yup

Giulia: Awe Sam

Nat: Sam's always so righteous

Giulia: Well he actually doesn’t seem so bummed

Zee: Annoyingly so sometimes

Giulia: Baby treat me right

Giulia: AWE HE GOT IT RIGHT

Nat: No, because he's really set to beat Chuck

Giulia: yeah

Zee: Awe his face

Giulia: SNORT

Nat: Ah Cas showed his badge right?

Giulia: yeah

Nat: Did ya see?

Nat: He was holding it up the wrong way?

Giulia: .

Giulia: PAX

Nat: She's the one who played you, Dean!

Giulia: the fuck he is

Giulia: Dark castiel?

Zee: A what ?

Giulia: With that black trench coat

Zee: I want cas dressed like that

Giulia: He should have had the black trench. In the promo he was

Giulia: Ok but how is Jack alright now 

Nat: Billy got work for him

Zee: Hello

Giulia: HEY SNACC

Nat: See. It's her

Giulia: AWE SO YUMMY

 Nat: He's bulkier than Dean

Nat: I CAN ALWAYS MAKE MORE SONS

Giulia: Can I be in that sandwich tho

Nat: A beach read?

Zee: Beach read

Giulia: Beach read

Giulia: Wow

Nat: YES YOU ARE BABY

Giulia: AHAHAHAHAHAH

Nat: TOLSTOY

Giulia: TOLSTOY

Nat: Tell her

Giulia: don t touch sam

Giulia: OF COURSE SAM

Zee: Oh come on

Giulia: HEY STOP THAT

Zee: Thanks for the recap

Giulia: so tired of people hurting my innocent baby ok

Nat: Jack's not afraid because he knows that he's gonna come back

Giulia: Completely innocent

Giulia: U like children

Giulia: Yuck

Giulia: Kill him

Nat: YEAH you fucking pedo

Giulia: AAAAAH

Giulia: DAD

Nat: so billy sends Jack out to kill those

Giulia: NICE

Zee: Dad to the rescue

Giulia: I AM NOT PREPARED

Nat: That eyebrow

Zee: We could use some more light

Giulia: SOB

Nat: Sammy you got this

Giulia: He is so worried

Zee: So focused

Nat: Liver failure... and she looks at Dean lol

Giulia: Liver failure

Zee: THE god

Giulia: Little guy

Giulia: Squirrley as hell

Zee: Welcome to the club

Nat: When you apes climbed down from the trees... aw

Giulia: Thanks

Giulia: Oh this is actually interesting tho

Nat: Get her on board and then go against Chuck

Zee: She knows Chuck

Nat: I mean

Giulia: All the gods

Zee: And when you lose

Nat: Dean lol

Giulia: YAS SAM

Zee: Learnt from my brother

Giulia: No stop it

Nat: NO

Giulia: NO

Zee: There’s always a catch

Nat: DON'T

Giulia: STOP

Zee: They will say yes

Giulia: OF COURSE

Nat: WHY DID KNOW THAT SAM WOULD SAY YES

Giulia: AWE SAM

Giulia: not to the Winchesters

Zee: 15 years

Nat: Ok, but now beat her alright

Giulia: SUCH HEROES

Nat: But like, she fucking lives in a pool hall. What are the odds

Giulia: I ‘m sick of this music and pool tho

Nat: Hate it

Nat: NO

Giulia: Of course

Nat: Are they gonna die

Zee: Fuck

Zee: They can’t yet

Giulia: Thanks

Nat: Ah right, still 9 episodes to go

Nat: Our luck will do that on its own

Giulia: Awe

Nat: Wait what

Zee: She let them out

Giulia: Sob

Zee: Our kind

Nat: Awe

Nat: She helps them

Zee: Make him play yours

Giulia: Make him play yours

Zee: Mojo back

Giulia: Awe are they back to normal

Nat: Awe

Zee: Yes

Nat: Good

Giulia: Dean stuffing his mouth with cheese

Nat: Scratcher

 Nat: lol

Zee: Porn

Giulia: Sob

 Giulia: What was that high note lol

Nat: Back to back double cheese burgers

Nat: Oh oh

Zee: Wait for it

Nat: Oh oh

Giulia: can t wait for jack

Nat: Oh Oh

Nat: OOOHHHHH

Giulia: SOB

Giulia: HEWWO

Nat: AAAAHHHHHH

Zee: So much hurt

Giulia: AAAAAAAAAAAH

Giulia: SAAAAM

Nat: I didn't think I would cry

Giulia: SOB

Giulia: NO

Giulia: STOP DEANP

Giulia: HE LOOKS AT CAS

Zee: Our son is back

Giulia: SOB

Zee: And you let him?

Nat: every day I wanted to come HOME

Giulia: awe Jack bb

Giulia: Grandfather

Nat: He's afraid of me.

Giulia: YES HE IS

Nat: JACK WILL BECOME THE NEW GOD

Giulia: OF COURSE

Giulia: but they just said that there can’t be no god

Zee: So it won’t be the Winchesters?

Nat: It's plausible that Jack will take over.

Nat: He's not God-god. He's Jack-god.

Nat: Ok, so promo then I need to leave

Giulia: UGH

Giulia: if don’t come I’m dead

Giulia: ...same

Giulia: Snort

Giulia: I need Jesus

Nat: What I say

Zee: March 16!

Zee: Hate it

Nat: Sob

Zee: It’s been established

Giulia: I just wish they could change the finale date

Zee: I mean why do they have to drag it like that?

Giulia: There are festivities or some shit idk

Giulia: The superbowl?

Giulia: Whatever

Zee: Oh that shit is on?

Zee: We have a month and a half to find a solution

Nat: There. He showed it the wrong way first?

Zee: Yeah he did

Zee: Lovely dork

Giulia: Ah shit I was writing here and look after he turned it around

Zee: Me too

Nat: Yes hi hello, this is Pax the Snaxx

Zee: Yes hi hello

Giulia: Fuck

Zee: I didn’t ask for this

Nat: Apparently, I don't care

Zee: Apparently you’re a bitch

Nat: Apparently, he's not been always a snaxx

Nat: Because

Nat: snorts

Giulia: Aaaaand it’s gone

Giulia: I love beards, my god

Zee: So fucking vanilla

Giulia: I can’t taste anything

Giulia: This tho?

....the flavour is amazing

Giulia: Yum

Zee: I can’t complain about this flavor either

Zee: Nat started chaos and now she’s sitting somewhere laughing like the evil bitch she is

Nat: No, like I've seen other pics of him and I will spare it for you. But like in the ep he's a damn fucking main course

.

.

.

If you want to get tagged send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby​ or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @wayward-angelgirl​​​  @destiel-honeypie​​​      @mariekoukie6661​​​      @dragontamerm​​​       @closetspngirl​​​    @rainflowermoon​​​     @mattiecat​​​       @bunnybaby121115​​​  @aliaitee2​​    @jacks-word-of-the-day​​​     @4evamc​​​       @dammitsammy​​​     @legendary-destiel​​​   @winchesterprincessbride​​​    @destielhoneybee​​​​    @castiellover20   @ravenhg​​​ @evvvissticante​​​ @emoryhemsworth​​​​ @markofdean79​​​ @janndishsstuff​

[fogsrollingin]

So I’ve been wading around in a lot of fiction the past 2-3 weeks like I always do and sadly I only have one fic and one WIP fic to really recommend at length. Please know that I rarely recommend WIPs; I only rec them when I decide that what I did read was 110% worthy of my time even without an ending. Like actually I’m pretty sure the only other WIPs I’ve rec’d are Sure Got a Dirty Mouth by Justine Delarge (NC17, Dean/Sam, 374k words) and Model of the Solar System by Compo67 (NC17, Jared/Jensen, 82k) so take that as you will! Now, onto the recs. Let us travel back to the nascent days of spn fic in 2006, that shadowy twilight of ffnet & livejournal dwellings when AO3 didn’t even exist 👀 Deviling the Chipper by Maygin. Rated PG-13, Gen, 28k words. Summary: “Loneliness is never more cruel than when it is felt in close propinquity with someone who has ceased to communicate.” – Germaine Greer fanfiction.net/s/2813706/ my thoughts: OMG I FINALLY FOUND THIS FIC. I swear I must’ve read this fic around 2010 and it’s always stuck with me. Ten fucking years later I find it. Ok. Breathe. There’s so much to say about this fic. First, it’s basically a team-up between Dean and psychic!Carson from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (only this is technically an OC named Cal) because he’s the only one a comatose-ghost-Sam can communicate with. This fic was a riot; I was barely paying attention to the plot’s mystery with all the interactions between Cal and Dean. Fair warning though, this fic was completed in 2006 so some of it’s pretty ignorant, specifically Dean’s perspective (altho spot-on characterization for vintage S1 Dean if you rly think about it), but I could handle it because while Dean’s a kinda homophobic asshole, Cal blows him off & proceeds to be super obnoxious too, and somehow between them you just get the impression the author adored both personalities and writing their badinage. Aaaaand my final reason for loving this fic is /drumroll/ there’s some brotherly love & comfort when Dean finally gets Sam back that melts my (and Cal’s, and Cal’s hulking bf’s) hearts 😂 This fic’s been added to my miscellaneous genfic recs

Raising the King by mad_parnes. NC-17, Sam/Dean (raised apart), 88k words. Warning: This is a Work In Progress that’s probably never gonna finish. I recommend reading it anyway! Summary:  The first time Dean Winchester laid eyes on the creature they later called the Boyking, he saw him standing behind the yellow eyed demon. The devils gate spit out demons and Dean's knee was twisted into the wrong direction. ao3.org/works/15428598 my thoughts: this is my ‘first fic of the summer’ that I found around the end of May. The one that kept me up til 3 AM reading while it’s sticky-hot in bed, fans going at their highest setting, sodium street lights filtering in from the screen windows. Every trip to the bathroom involves a messy splash of cold water to the face and drip-drying back to bed to splay out (taking note of my cat’s meows warning me not to hit him bc he’s black and i don’t see him sometimes). the obligatory check to see if my phone with the broken screen is still aglow playing swagbucks ads & then back to my phone (screen intact) lit up for me to read more of this fascinating, riveting story about Sam’s noble quest to take over hell. The world-building of hell in this story blew my mind. I don’t know why but I totally have a thing for these intricate descriptions and world rules for hell. And the story is so anchored in Dean’s perspective as his fondness for Sam grows that nothing gets too dark (I mean I’ve read and even recommended some really dark stuff that’s challenged me before but this fic isn’t one of them). If you don’t want to read something as long as this fic, first try Terms and Conditions by UnabashedBird on AO3 (Rated PG-13, Gen, 3.5k). if you liked that fic but wish it were longer and featured a slow burn sam/dean, this fic is for you. This fic’s in need of some minimal beta-ing but it’s nothing I couldn’t overlook for the amazing quality of this story, its plot and characterizations are just tremendous. It was super sad when I found out it wasn’t complete but I got over it and I totally feel like my time was well spent reading it even without an ending. I’m going to include this fic on my ‘exploring hell’ reclist that I haven’t posted yet. For now it’ll just be here in this post 👍

Last note: if you want to check out similar recs like this post, the tag is my fic recs. and also there’s my catalog/directory of reclists here <3

[illegiblewords]

hm-- i'm going to be the obvious one and suggest lahabrea (or hades, whichever someone hasn't already sent!)

YOU’RE IN LUCK, NEITHER HAS BEEN SENT!

LAHABREA

First impression: Wow what a boring villain, very 2-D with shitty dialogue and bland motives wearing the all black spooky-like. And we are supposed to be very impressed and intimidated just like Hydaelyn. When is Heavensward?

Impression now: My friends I have 180′d and now love this poor sad loser to pieces. Emet-Selch revealing that no, Lahabrea really has been being a lameass this entire time and why the hell did we take him seriously when he had such horrendous decision-making throughout was the beginning. Seriously, I basically yelled laughing when the “crowning moment of idiocy” line happened. Because until that point the models for Ascian behavior were Mr. I-laugh-at-explosions-and-yell-about-Zodiark Lahabrea, Sir I-don’t-talk-much-but-when-I-do-it’s-about-Zodiark-and-balance Elidibus, a certain I-hate-all-these-people-because-Zodiark-likes-them-better-WAITAHOTCHICK Nabriales, Ms. I-fucked-up-and-will-never-live-it-down-so-no-longer-show-my-emotions Igeyorhm, and a couple of oneliners. None of whom have seemed overly self-aware. The second that line came out of Hades’ mouth, it became clear that YES we can judge them all and NO this is not some kind of standard Ascian behavior we should just accept. None of them have to act that way. They’re just weirdos.

Then Shadowbringers happened and there was a period of “wait how did Amaurot’s top orator turn into the Lahabrea we know” and learning that Lahabrea was weak because he kept body hopping despite knowing it was damaging him.

Aaaaand at Gamescom, bless Oda and Yoshida, they gave the single smoothest fix and I am eternally grateful. Workaholic Lahabrea is a gift. He probably doesn’t even know what he’s saying most of the time and is just trying to give the impression he knows what he’s about before dropping a monster and running off.

But then combining all the info and playing detective with past scenes he’s actually really sad. Still lame and stupid funny at times but also sad as hell when dots get connected. At this point I figure he’s motivated by guilt complexes, denial-flavored-tempering, and fear of both falling asleep because nightmares and how much blood will rest directly on him if he fails. Because I think I remember seeing that Zodiark was his idea. And literally everyone except for him, Hades, and Elidibus died in connection with that.

I think he’s a Stepford smiler in the sense that internally he is deeply, deeply fucked but he distracts himself in how ridiculous a lot of the FFXIV situations are and laughing at the resulting blow-ups. Space-dragon-ghost-explodes-out-of-the-moon-to-wreak-havoc is a hell of a thing for the history books. I also think he probably knows or assumes people don’t like him and that he deserves it. I also think that while the other two Unsundered get frustrated with him, he’s probably also been hiding the level of fucked up he still is from them in a lot of ways and they assume to varying degrees that he’s being irrational, hot-headed, arrogant, and stubborn with it. I think in actuality he’s somewhat aware but is semi-deliberately hurting himself and alternately doesn’t think he has a right to stop or is horrified by how much less capable he is after spending thousands of years essentially hurting himself through body hopping and overwork. Reprimanding him probably doesn’t work because he already has a lot of reason to detest himself. I also think he probably tries really hard not to think about himself on a personal level because once he falls into that pit he’s not getting out easily, so there’s a solid amount of repression going on too.

I could go on. He is a sad clown to me who tries to cover up how tired he is by vomiting five syllable words.

Favorite moment

See, there’s funniest moment and there’s most interesting moment. His intro at the Thousand Maws of Toto-Rak makes me giggle a lot now. Most interesting to me is possibly his exchange with Elidibus after Nabriales’ death or when he shows up late to a meeting and discreetly tries to explain why he should be allowed to work again. 

Idea for a story

:[ I don’t know if I can do it because I am still very happily committed to my Hades/WoL sequel, but following the story Stalemate I did I could see a situation with that specific WoL checking the Eye post-Shinryu and freeing Lahabrea. Very scenario-specific and all but I have some ideas about that.

Unpopular opinion

Idk if unpopular so much as different?

I’ve seen a lot of Lahabrea variants that I think are really cool and interesting! Some are very serious and dignified. Some are intimidatingly hot-tempered. But for me, part of what I find intriguing are the ways he doesn’t quite add up with the persona he’s trying to portray. I also really like small, cute human elements in characters that let you fall in love with them a little. This goes even for characters I find reprehensible because IMO it’s important to take both the endearing and the appalling together when forming opinions. It’s still fiction and I don’t think it translates to “if you like a character who committed murder then you like murder” or anything. I do think though that if the audience steps back and has to say point blank whether they think the character is a good person, a bad person, or somewhere in-between (regardless of liking them) that kind of thing becomes important.

I can understand why people would write off the iffy early writing to just spin Lahabrea as a highly respectable, unflappable, untouchable dude. I definitely still enjoy stories where he’s written that way. It’s just not so much how I read him haha. I think he tries to be that but there’s a lot of comedy and tragedy going on with him internally that hits hard when embraced. And I think being assumed as immune to any kind of vulnerability or real connection would probably fuck with him a lot too. Before the Ascian we know, he was considered one of the most exemplary citizens of Amaurot. It would be weird imo if he was completely isolated even then, and seeing how he got from Point A to Point B has a ton of pathos potential.

I also like him a lot despite thinking Thancred is absolutely justified in hating his guts, but it doesn’t come up as much with me so I could see there being some ???

Favorite relationship

XD I just did a WoL/Lahabrea shipfic personal challenge so naturally that influences me a bit so far as shipping goes. That said I am a multishipper. I could see him with either of the Unsundered being interesting. I’ve seen some cute stuff with Igeyorhm too but have less strong of an opinion there currently. Non-shipping I think he’s probably closest to Elidibus, has a sort of testy relationship with Hades but they ultimately do care about each other, and possibly has some level of closeness with Igeyorhm too. I also think that Nabriales dislikes Lahabrea more than Lahabrea dislikes him and that can cause some interesting problems.

Probably in-general I’m just very here for dysfunctional Unsundered trio.

Favorite headcanon

The workaholic thing and the self-destructive thing are technically both canon. His being lame specifically because of being tired all the time I think is probably it because the rest just follows for me haha.

As a smaller, more mundane headcanon I think Lahabrea is a super ugly sleeper most of the time. Probably drools.

Will do a post for Hades too and tag it but need to do other stuff for a bit! BUT THANK YOU!

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Dark Side: Part 3

Master: @afewmarvelousthoughtsadmin

Pairing: Steve X Reader

Summary: You expected Captain America to be a lot of things… You didn’t expect him to be anything like you. As it turns out, America’s Golden Boy may be more than a little tarnished.

Warnings: Violence, blood, feels, fluff, smut, everything

A/N: This bad boy is for @littledarlinhavefaithinme ‘s Marvelous Writing Challenge!

LOLOLOLOL WHAT HAVE I DONE. 

Well. This is longer than I expected but seeing as the challenge is over this week I thought I’d give it to y’all in one final beefy chapter filled with blood and emotions and smut and the bevy of human messiness that makes us all tick. The prompt is bolded. I need a drink. Aaaaand there is probs gonna be an epilogue because I have more ideas for these two. 

Hope y’all like my angsty Cap! 

Tags are open!

It takes two hours to clean up the mess.

He tells the police he had been here with a friend, who he told to leave as soon as the shot was heard, he saw the victim attacking a woman, she fired in self-defense, before he could question her she’d gotten lost in the crowd. As he conveyed his not entirely untrue story Natasha stared at him, eyebrows raised as if she didn’t believe him but she said nothing.

It didn’t matter. No one seemed too concerned with any of it. Almost to the point that it unnerved him. Both the DCPD and S.H.I.E.L.D. chalked it up to some random incident, bagged the body, took some statements and that was it.

“They’re not going to do anything more about this?” He asked Natasha as everyone dispersed.

She shrugged, “People die every day in this city. They’ll look into it but he’s likely just a thug who picked the wrong mark. Sucks to be him but if no one’s gonna miss him they’re not gonna waste the manpower on it.” He doesn’t like it. “Can’t save everyone all the time, Steve.”

That wasn’t what left a bad taste in his mouth but he couldn’t tell her that. With a cloud hovering over him he heads home, trying his best to push down the feeling in his gut that he’s missing something.

As he slips his key in the lock he hears water coming from the bathroom. His blood runs cold.

Quietly he opens the door. Slipping inside, he stands, hardly breathing as he assesses the situation. His shield isn’t where he usually leaves it, close to the door. However, he does see blood, drops trailing on the wood floor toward the bathroom. Even though he assumes it's you he cautiously makes his way through his apartment.

The door to the bathroom is just barely ajar. He shoulders it open and hears the click of a gun. You’re standing in the shower, shield raised, gun poised.

“Oh thank fuck,” you breathe out, shield dropping to your side revealing your muscular form clad in nothing but a pair of high waist lace underwear and a matching bra. He swallows hard, trying to pretend he doesn’t feel his cheeks heating.

“That thing is heavier than I thought it’d be.” You lean his shield against the wall beside the shower, setting your pistol beside it.

“They really just let you bring that home? I thought it’d be on lock up or something. Vibranium is worth a shit load.” He says nothing as he steps in, nothing the first aid kit, the blood in the bathtub, and discarded surgical thread in a pile.

“I’ll clean this up,” he’s surprised at the awkward tone in your voice. “I… uh… it’s hard to stitch up the back of your thigh yourself, in case you ever need to know.” Blood is still snaking down your leg, he can tell from the pool forming by your foot.

“I’d assume as much.” He has a million questions but for now, you need help. “Here,” he begins undoing the buttons on his shirt.

“You don’t have to-”

“I can’t just leave you bleeding in my shower. And I think I’m owed some answers. So, you’re gonna let me stitch you up and you’re going to answer my questions.”

“Authoritative. I’m into it.” He slides his gaze to you, as he tosses the shirt to his bed. That goddamn smirk on your lips. He’s got half a mind to turn you around in the shower and… No. You need help and he needs answers. That’s what this situation is. Nothing else.

He washes his hands and grabs a few rags, getting them wet. “Turn around, let me see.” Ignoring the blood he kneels behind you, setting the kit down beside him, to inspect the wound. It needs stitches but it’s not too bad.

“Am I gonna make it doc?” You look over your shoulder and down at him, voice dripping with mock concern.

“I think we can save the leg, just barely though.”

“Thank god. Though I could always replace it with a machine gun.”

“That may be the most ridiculous image I can imagine,” he laughs as he starts to clean the area around the wound.

You hiss just a bit before explaining, “It’s in a movie actually.”

“Well,” he pulls gauze from the kit to press to the wound, you brace yourself against the wall, “that sounds like a cinematic masterpiece.”

You laugh a little, “It’s so bad it’s almost good actually. Kind of a horror action combo.”

“Maybe I’ll watch it.” Gently he removes the blood-soaked pad before pressing another, the flow slows.

“I don’t know if it’ll be your taste.”

“Aren’t you the one always telling me to try new things?”

“Ok,” you laugh, “point.”

He threads a fresh needle, “Ready?”

“Can’t wait.” Your tone is flat, forehead pressed against the shower.

He’s impressed that you hardly flinch while he sutchures the wound. As he does so he can’t help but think about how quickly something like this would heal on him. He’d hardly bother to stitch it. He almost… envies you.

Once you’re stitched he tapes gauze over the wound and cleans the dried blood from the back of your leg. “You’re set, though I’d still maybe get it checked out.”

“Thanks, doctor Steve,” you turn and he’s eye level with those maddening lace underwear again.

Forcing his eyes away he stands, stepping out of the shower, heading to the sink, “Yeah, well I didn’t do it for free, Zelda. You owe me-”

“Y/N,” you say softly. He looks back at you as he soaps his hands. “My name… is Y/N.”

His face stretches into a smile. It’s pretty, suits you. Drying his hands he turns to you, “Nice to meet you, Y/N.”

It’s not the smirk he’s grown to expect, the curling of your lips is genuine, soft, lighting your eyes. You nod, “I obviously owe you a new suit too,” you gesture to the bloodstained slacks. “Think I could add some other clothes to the tab? Unfortunately, my dress has seen better days.”

“Sure.” He heads into his room pulling sweats and a tee from a drawer. You’re rinsing the shower with the handheld head when he walks back in. He sets the clothes on the counter. “Don’t worry about the suit. Not like I bought it.”

“Still, thanks.”

“If I leave you in here are you gonna disappear again?”

“No promises,” the smirk back on your lips. He leans in the door, arms crossed. “I’m not going anywhere. I owe you, remember?”

He nods and leaves you. Grabbing fresh clothes himself he goes to the guest room to change too. When he opens the door, there you are. Before he can say anything your eyes fix on something behind him.

“Is that…?” You gesture to the almost finished canvas of St. Louis.

“Yeah…” He hasn’t felt this awkward in more than 70 years. “It… I…”

“You did this?!” You look awestruck.

He shrugs, “Yeah. I went to art school back in my day. It was kinda the only thing I was good at… well besides getting the shit kicked outta me.”

Your gaze has shifted from him back to the painting. “Steve… honestly… this is stunning.”

“Eh. I’m still not happy with the sky, it’s not the right kind of purple. The gradient is off too and my shadows need work.”

“Shut up. It’s beautiful. What the hell are you doing being a soldier?!”

“Could ask you the same thing.”

You scoff, “Nah,” something dark flits over your features when you turn back. “There’s no spectacular hidden talent here.”

“I doubt that.” He gives you a warm smile, “You’re one hell of a dancer.”

Your head tilts back in a laugh, “That’s me bein’ a ho. Nothing particularly special there.” You pat his chest as you walk from the room. “Mind if I nab some of that whiskey I saw in there?”

“Not at all.” He follows you out, “Have a seat and I’ll pour you a glass.” His eyes follow you to the living room, unable to ignore the curve of your ass as you walk.

He pours you a hearty bit of whiskey, certain your leg has to be hurting and he doesn’t have any other pain killer. For posterity, he pours some for himself too. It does nothing for him but the smoky taste is comforting.

“Here,” he hands you the tumbler.

“Thanks,” you wrap your fingers around the glass. Suddenly you look tired, smaller somehow.

He pulls the armchair close to the couch, not wanting to crowd you. For a few minutes, silence hangs. As adamant as he was earlier about getting answers, looking at you now he just wants you to rest.

“So…” you break the silence.

He sighs, “Let’s start with why you asked me out tonight.”

One perfect brow raises, “Because I wanted to.”

“And someone trying to kill you had absolutely nothing to do with it?”

“Not… exactly.” He doesn’t honor that with an answer, just stares at you. Nervously your nails tap the glass of the tumbler. “A few weeks ago I got tapped for a gig. Blind hire. Usually, I don’t even entertain jobs like that unless the pay is very good. This was, but when they told me who…”

Ah… he sees now. “How much is Captain America’s head going for these days?”

“Not funny.”

“I’m not laughin,’ just curious.”

“Millions.” Not bad. At least he knew he was worth something to someone, even if it was dead. “Thing is,” your voice pulls him back, “I have a, uh, reputation of sorts…”

“I don’t doubt that,” he smiles up at you through his lashes and your features soften.

“Fuck you.” Playfully you toss a couch pillow at him. “See, if you hire me you had better be damn sure your hands are cleaner than the person you’re sending me after.”

“If they’re not?”

That smirk plays on your lips. “Well, most times I’ll flip the gig. Tell whoever you hired me to go after what you’re doing, offer my services, usually make more than I was gonna before. And if not it’s at least more satisfying.”

“Judge, jury, and executioner.” He can’t pretend he approves.

You shrug, “I don’t trick myself into thinking it’s justice. It’s a job. That’s all. I just sleep better knowing I didn’t go after someone innocent.” His brows rise. “Yeah. That’s kind of my niche. I’m who the underground sends after their own.”

“Seems like a fine line to walk.”

“I’m very, very good at what I do. So, I’m tolerated.”

“Guessing I’m not dirty enough to justify being your mark.”

“Well… I’m sure in some ways… but not enough for me to put a bullet in you.”

“So you turned ‘em down.”

“No.” He can’t help but look surprised, you laugh. “Told them I needed 48 hours. I knew they’d go underground once I said no, so I needed time. There wasn’t any trail I could find to figure out who was putting the hit out but I did find a tie to my Popov job.”

You slam back the rest of your whiskey, “It was also a blind hire, great pay, but I didn’t look too far into it because he was a fuckin’ monster. Hell, I would have don’t it for a smoke and a beer. But I think they wanted to see if I I could get to someone even with you there…”

“And you did.”

“Yup.” You roll the glass in your hands, “Realized I wasn’t getting anything else on my own so contacted them in 30 hours, they thought I was going to say yes so they were pretty willing to share what they wanted.”

“They wanted more than me dead?”

“No, more like how… They didn’t care about anything else other than it looking like you went out in the line of duty a-”

“Hero’s death.” Bitterness fills his mouth.

“Something like that. And it was to be local, close to DC.”

“We don’t do many jobs close to home…”

“Figured as much.”

He nods, “So they worked out you were going to tell me and came after you?”

You shrug, “That or they planned on taking me out once I turned them down, just finally had a good window.”

He doesn’t like this. Not because someone was gunning for him, that honestly didn’t phase him. He doesn’t like that you were in the crosshairs over it. You may have a questionable day job but… you weren’t a bad person.

“So,” you slowly stand and walk to the table where your clutch and shoes wait, “I was thinking you could cash in on some of those clearly unused vacation hours.” Picking up your things you turn to him smiling. “Maybe see St. Louis for real or Notre Dame, Greece is great this time of year, or-”

“I’m not running.” He’s sort of touched and a part of him would love to go to any of those places with you but… Steve Rogers didn’t stand down from a fight.

“Steve… if someone tried to hire me they aren’t fucking around. They will find someone and-”

He stands, “I’ll be fine.” His hand rests on your shoulder, you lean into it a bit, taking weight off your leg.

Looking up at him your face is hard, “You won’t be.”

“And if I’m not America can have her martyr back, plus someone gets a great payday. Why does it matter to you?”

“Why doesn’t it matter to you?”

He holds your gaze, meaning every word, “Who’s gonna miss Steve Rogers?”

“Me.” He honestly wasn’t expecting that. A sad smile lifts your full lips, “I think I’d miss Steve Rogers… a lot.”

Something in him snaps at that. He’d felt so numb for so long and now he’s suddenly burning. Cupping your face he leans down pressing his lips to yours.

Your things clatter to the floor as you return the kiss, arms curling around his neck. He wraps you in his arms, holding you close and lifts you just a touch as your tongue finds its way between his teeth. The taste of whiskey and desire fill his mouth.

Steve can’t remember wanting something, someone, in so long…

You break the kiss, eyes burning into his own. “Please don’t do something stupid… please.”

“Promise I won’t if you stay.” Hope flickers in his chest for just a moment.

“I can’t…” It flickers out. “I’m sorry.” You release him and he makes sure you’re steady on your feet before he bends to retrieve your things. When he looks back he swears that’s disappointment on your face…

“Even just for tonight? Your leg…”

“Too risky,” your index finger traces his jaw, bottom lip catching in your teeth.

“Can I at least get you home?”

“I can manage, Cap.” You sigh heavily, “I should go…”

His eyes glue to the wood grain of the floor. “Ok.”

“I’ll see you around…” He looks up, then, the soft smile on your features telling him this is a request.

“Maybe.” You nod, darkness flickering behind your eyes. He won’t make promises he can’t keep. Holding your things he turns to walk you out, now just wanting this to be over.

At the door, you both stand awkwardly. “Here,” he hands you your things.

“Thanks.” you take them. “For everything.”

“Don’t mention it. Thanks for the warning.”

You nod. “Steve…” Your hand rests over his heart before your pleading eyes catch his, “Please be safe.”

He wraps your hand in his lifting it to his lips, “You too.”

You nod when he releases your hand, no doubt noting his avoidance. “Well, until next time.”

He opens the door, “Next time.” And then you’re gone.

-

The next few months crawl by. Anytime you’re not working is always miserably boring but you needed to lay low unless you wanted to end up in a shallow grave somewhere.

Your new found free time had left room for you to keep digging into Steve’s hit. What you were finding was… well, nothing short of a national crisis so wild and far-reaching that if you hadn’t been doing the research yourself you’d think it was bullshit. Honestly, discovering that the government was run by lizard people would have been more believable.

More than once you try to convince yourself to meet up with Steve, share all this. But… he wasn’t in a good place, that had been clear. You were pretty sure he wasn’t much better since you left him if your mostly unanswered texts were any indication. If you were to tell him you had evidence that Hydra, the organization he’d given his life to see destroyed, was still functioning… And that it was very possible that S.H.I.E.L.D. was involved… What would he do?

One morning you’re on your third cup of coffee, wondering how you’ll fill your day when your phone rings. The little hand drawn picture of a dick on a napkin that pops up tells you who it is.

“The fuck you want, Wade?” You hear Vanessa laugh in the background and can’t help but smile. “Am I on speaker?!”

“Of course. I only conduct sensitive business in the loudest way possible you know that. Oh and also, rude.”

You laugh, “What’s going on.”

Crunching echos on the other end before he answers. “You asked me to tell you if I heard any chatter about someone getting tapped for that Captain America gig you turned down?”

“Yeah?”

“Well. I heard something.” He says nothing else.

“Wilson. I know you love foreplay but now is not the time.”

“Ugh, you’re so boring.”

“She prefers me anyway,” Vanessa quips.

“She’s not wrong.”

He laughs, “Why am I friends with you again? You’re rude to me, prefer my girlfriend, you never come slap me around anymore, I mean honestly, Y/N.”

“Wade, I swear I’ll do more than slap you around next time if you just stop dicking around and tell me what you got.”

“Ooooh, see that’s what I’m talking about.” More crunching, “But in all seriousness, that’s not the promise I want from you. I tell you this, you tell him if you have to, but don’t get involved, this shit is way too risky.”

“Aww, you care.”

“Fuck you.” He sighs, “Private airport, DC, supposedly some child-smuggling ring, links to human experimentation. That’s at least the story on S.H.I.E.L.D.’s books. Don’t have an exact date but it’s likely going to be within a week.”

Bold of them to stick with that structure even after telling you… but it was a good enough cover, and if it worked… Fuck.

“Y/N… don’t be a dumbass. Why you give a fuck I don’t know but if you need to tell him, do it. That’s it though. Don’t get yourself killed.”

“I won’t, promise.”

“Good.”

“Thanks, Wade, seriously.”

“Anytime.”

“Love ya, Y/N!” Vanessa calls out.

“You too boo! Fuck ‘em up for me.” She laughs and the call ends.

For the next ten minutes, you just stare at your phone. Your fingers trace the shape of your lips, remembering the way he tasted, how warm his body felt… Suddenly you realize you may actually miss him.

Finally, you pick up the phone and tap out a text:

Y/N: Hey. We need to talk ASAP. Call me?

Hours come and go. You run, work out, clean, anything to try to keep yourself distracted but it doesn’t help. Every minute he doesn’t respond fills you with dread.

When you can’t stand it any longer you call him. It rings and rings until his voicemail picks up. You don’t leave one.

Two days later you feel physically sick from the stress. What if you were too late? What if he…

The phone rings, and you practically drop it in your haste to pull the thing from your pocket.

“Steve!?” You hate how desperate you sound.

“It’s the job with the kids isn’t it?” His tone stings a little… still…

“Yeah, it is. Don’t know who took it but it’s a safe bet it’s not someone to fuck around with.”

“Right. Well, thanks for the heads up.”

“Steve?!”

“What.”

“I… uh…” You don’t know what you expected… this wasn’t it. “Just… ya know, don’t die.”

“No promises.” With that, he hangs up.

It hurts more than you want to admit. Angry you storm to the garage and begin beating your punching bag until your knuckles bleed and tears run down your face.

You had made peace that the life you chose was a fairly solitary one. It was better that way. For some reason, though he made you wish that wasn’t the case… it didn’t matter. You couldn’t have him, he didn’t want you… And he’d likely be in a flag covered casket by the end of the week.

That thought makes you freeze mid punch.

No. You can’t let that happen. Rushing through the house you gear up, wrap your knuckles, and in less than an hour, your bike is thundering down the highway.

You’d been living in Pittsburg so it doesn’t take you long to get to DC. The sun had just set when you stand at his door, banging, heart threatening to burst from your chest.

As soon as it’s clear that he’s not going to answer you go outside and work your way up the fire escape, prying the window open like you did the last time you were here.

“Steve?” You call out, begging that if nothing else you’ll see his shield… There’s no Steve and no shield. “Fuck.”

Wade didn’t tell you what private airport. You wrack your brain, there were two that were legit just outside the city but you knew there were a couple more exclusive ones that wouldn’t be found through a simple Google search. You don’t hesitate to call in some contacts to find out where this may be going down. If someone wanted to rat you out so be it.

Favors called in, promises given, you finally have it narrowed down to two places. One on the books one off. The first one is the obvious choice, used mainly by wealthy dignitaries looking to avoid customs and it’s closer. It’s also a dead end. Cursing yourself you pray you’re not too late as you rush to the other private airport near College Park.

The place is dead… as is the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent near the front of the small check-in area. It reminds you how easily this could go wrong. You slip your phone out and text Wade.

Y/N: Look. If I eat it tonight this isn’t on you. Idk why he matters but he does and I couldn’t stay out of it. You know where my stash is, take Vanessa somewhere nice if I don’t come out of this. Love ya.

If you did live he’d likely kick your ass after this. You’d welcome it. Taking a deep breath you stalk slowly deeper into the airport.

The silence eats at you making your anxiety rise. If there was still a fight going on you’d hear something… if he was…

You hear glass breaking from down the small terminal. Immediately you take cover. Unable to see you let your ears do the work. Two, maybe three, a groan and a snap echos in the space. Well… two people. A shot goes off and you flinch but you have to look.

The merc isn’t someone you know but he’s big, a mountain of a man who’s bulk rivals Steve’s. Brass knuckles on his massive hand, in the other a gun.

“Honestly,” he speaks, clearly American, “I thought this would be harder.” A sinister grin fills his face, “But who am I to complain?”

He rushes Steve, landing a blow to his solar plexus. Steve gasps and the shield clatters to the ground. Before you know it your gun is in your hand and you shoot, not to kill but to distract.

“What the fuck?!” He takes cover as you let loose another shot.

“You scare easy for a big fucker!” You taunt more to let Steve know who’s here.

The glint of the metal on his knuckles tips you off before he can take his shot and you tumble toward Steve who’s still getting his breath. Pushing him to the side you fire.  

“What the hell are you-”

“Shut the fuck up.” You growl at him. From your belt, you pull a flash bomb and hurl it toward the merc. In a second it goes off and you pull Steve to his feet. “Come on.”

You head toward the front of the terminal, previously abandoned but you can hear the shuffle of people. Steve pulls you against him and against the wall, shield in front of you.

“Not yours?” You ask looking up at his bloody face partly covered by the cowl.

“No.”

“Great.”

“You shouldn’t be here,” he says low in your ear.

“Neither should you.” You push away from him, “This way.” Hopefully, you could get out the back of the terminal before the merc got his vision back.

Holding close to the wall you manage to make it to a side door. Relief begins to tickle at you. You just may get out of this alive. With no assailants near, you turn to him.

“So, I warn you that someone is trying to kill you and all you can do is run straight for the reaper!? I mean I get you don’t like me or approve or whatever but come on you could have at least-”

Unblinking he flings his shield behind you with a swish. You turn in time to see it slam into someone's neck, snapping it.

“-listened to me,” you finish your statement voice flat with restrained surprise.

“Never said I didn’t like you,” he pushes past you to retrieve the shield. “We should aim for the back.” You nod and follow him.

You cover one another as you slowly make your way to the gated back portion of the airstrip. The shrubbery would provide just enough cover once you got there and-

A bullet grazes Steve’s shoulder causing his shield arm to go slack.

“Shit,” he hisses. The shot came from the single-engine plane you had just cleared.

Whirling you take aim at the assailant and catch them in the chest as they try to take cover off the wing. With a clatter they tumble to the ground, head making a sick crack on the asphalt.

“They must have sent a team,” you say kneeling to look at his wound.

“Ya think?” He sets the shield against his calf for a moment while he tries to move his arm.

“You’re making me regret showing up to save your ass.” He huffs out a little laugh.

It happens so fast you can’t think. A shot rings to your left and you both look. He must have seen or heard something you didn’t because he’s got you by the shoulders pulling you to the ground and under him. You can feel the moment the bullet hits his body. He groans and goes heavy on top of you.

“Steve!” He says nothing and you manage to push him off gently. Blood stains the navy of his suit a darker shade and you can see the tip of the bullet glinting against the fabric. Through and through.

You grab the shield and deflect another volley of bullets from the two of you. Glancing over you see the big man from before. Great.

“Just go,” Steve groans.

“Didn’t I tell you to shut up earlier?” You rip your shirt off and toss it to him to press to his wound. “Don’t bleed out on me.”

Thinking fast you rise to your feet, shield before you and you fire at the man. One in the head, two in the chest. He’s only part of your problem. You can see movement toward the terminal…

The two of you need cover and a very loud distraction. You pull two smoke grenades and toss them toward the plane the shooter had been on. In just a minute there’s enough of a screen to shield you both for a moment.

“Ok,” you turn to him. “Cover your ears, it’s gonna get loud and then we’re gonna have to run like hell. Can you manage?”

He grimaces, blood suffusing his side. “Sure, why not.”

There’s no other choice. You pull the two concussion grenades you keep for special occasions from their holster. Flicking the pins and hoping for the best you hurl them one after the other in two directions before covering you both with the shield as best you can.

The one that lands by the plane has the desired effect, it blows close by and will only cause a bigger hazard as the fire you can see through the smoke spreads. The other doesn’t hit much but is loud enough to distract. Good.

“Time to go old man.” You help him up, shield on your free arm and you make your way to the fence. The link is easy to cut and you’re quickly through it into the brush.

“Where are we even going, Y/N? Just leave me here, my people will come and-”

“I’m not fucking leaving you.” Your tone is sharp. “We aren’t in the wilderness. There’s a strip mall not far. I’ll jump a car and get you…” Where?

“Just get me home.” You stare at him trying to gauge just how much he wanted to die. “If you take me to a hospital they’re gonna look for me and innocent people may get hurt. I’m not bleeding enough for this to be life-threatening-”

“You don’t-”

“You can stitch me up.” His smile is crooked.

“I’m not a fucking medic, Rogers.” If he died… You were wasting time. “Whatever fine. Come on.”

You manage to get him back to his apartment alive.

His massive form leans against you heavily. “Don’t fucking pass out on me now, Rogers.”

He grunts in response. “Table.”

Hastily you clear the mail and books from the table top. The heavy wooden furniture groans under him as he sits on it, shaking fingers fumbling to undo his tactical suit.

“Here,” you push his hands away. There are an annoying amount of zippers and connection points but you eventually get it loose to his waist.

Moving behind him you lean across the table to help slide the suit down his arms. At first, your breath catches at the way the muscles of his shoulders and upper back ripple, a fucking Grecian statue of a man. When your eyes trail down though…

Blood stains his side, leaking slowly from the bullet hole. Bruising, deep and painful, already blossoms around the wound. His arm is nowhere near as bad but still needs attention. You swallow hard, trying to calm the panic in your chest.

A clink on the table draws your eye away. The bullet, intact and bloody lies there.

“Jesus, Steve…” Your fingers barely touch the unbruised skin close to the wound. He shivers.

“Not to be an ass but-”

“Shit! Yeah, sorry.” Hurridly you run to the bathroom and tug out the first aid kit, in the same place it was before, and soak rags in warm water. When you come back in you notice Steve sway.

You slam everything down on the table. “Steve,” you grab him by the shoulders, “hey,” your hands move to cup his face. “Look at me.” Those cool blue eyes meet yours, hazy and distant, “I’m taking you to the hospital.”

His hands catch your wrists, strong fingers digging in. “No,” his voice is stern, eyes seeming to clear.

“Ok,” you don’t want to waste time fighting him. You wash your hands in scalding water, slip glovers over them, and pray to a god you had long since given up on that you don’t kill this man.

When you’re finally wrapping a bandage around him you feel like you’ve just sprinted 10 miles. Your hands are shaking, your nerves are fried, you want to throw up and pass out and have 40 drinks but… you did the fucking thing. So far, so good. He hadn’t fainted, bled out, or died.

You take a shaky breath as you secure the bandage and he catches your hands in his bloodstained paws. Slowly you drag your eyes to meet his, barely breathing.

“Thank you,” his features are so soft.

A dry laugh slips from you, “Thanks for not dying.” He squeezes your hands a bit.

“Come on,” you pull back to help him up. “Let’s get you cleaned up and in bed.”

“You don’t hav-”

“Consider it me protecting my hard work. I’m not about to have gone through that for you to fuck it up.”

“Fair,” he groans as he stands.

You guide him to the bathroom and he hesitates, “Seriously I-”

“Don’t blush Rogers, you’ve lost too much blood to send it running in places it shouldn’t be.” The look on his face is slightly shocked. You can’t help but laugh, “Look, do you really think you can get out of the rest of this gear on your own?” He shrugs. “No. You can’t. Don’t be a baby.”

Gently you push him toward the bathroom. “Sit.” He does so on the edge of the tub.

-

Steve watches you kneel before him, sure fingers untying the laces on his boots.

There was a time in his life he was used to being cared for. Honestly, it felt both like yesterday and an age ago… Unsurprisingly he still absolutely hates it.

You were right though. He wasn’t in the shape to do it himself.

“Stand for a sec, we need to get this suit off.”

He swallows hard. It wasn’t that he was particularly shy… but…

“I can’t let you hang around in bloody clothes, man.”

All he can manage is a nod. His legs shake as he stands and his head swims a bit from blood loss and lack of sleep. When was the last time he had a solid night’s sleep…

“Stay with me,” you reach out steadying him.

“Tryin’,” his tongue is thick in his mouth.

“Just a bit longer.” You give him a gentle reassuring smile.

He feels almost drunk. “You have a beautiful smile.” The words just fall from his lips. Some part of him is mortified until your smile brightens even more before you look away. “Now who’s blushing?” He teases.

“Ya know I was gonna let you keep some of your dignity and give you a towel to cover up with. Now I’m not so sure.” You look back at him and wink.

“I got nothin’ to hide.”

“I bet.” That spark in your eyes makes the muscles in his abdomen clench painfully.

He’d be lying if he tried to pretend he’d never wondered what you’d look like on your knees. However, in none of his imaginings were you working a blood-soaked tac suit off him while he fought to stay conscious. But since when had anything in his life gone to plan?

“Boxers?”

He blinks at you, “What?”

“Your boxers. You need some that don’t look like evidence.”

He looks down, the ones he’s wearing are half grey and half crimson. “Top drawer.” You disappear and return with boxers and sweats.

You hand him a towel, “Thought I’d be nice.”

Wordlessly he takes it, holding it loosely in front of himself. When your fingers hook around the elastic of his boxers, your body lowering slowly down with the garment, eyes locked on his, he feels like he can’t breathe.

“Hangin’ in there, Cap?” Mischief glints in your eyes.

“Mhm,” he nods his head. You turn to wet a rag and, despite his best efforts, his mind fills with images of tearing your tac pants off your body and fucking you over the sink until you can’t stand.

His throat goes dry as you turn back. Unsuccessfully he tries holding the towel out a touch further to hide how hard he is.

The corner of your mouth ticks up, your warm hand on his chest causing his heart to beat a little faster. “What’d I say about keeping blood where it belongs?” Your voice is a purr.

Steve huffs out a small laugh, grimacing at the movement. You drop to your knees, gently washing the blood off his thigh. Bullet wound be damned. His fingers release his grip on the towel.

“Steve…” Your eyes lift up to his, the tip of your tongue flitting out to touch your bottom lip. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “You just got shot… I don’t want to hur-“

“Please.” He doesn’t care. Doesn’t care that his knees feel week, that his head is filled with fog, or that he could have died tonight. He didn’t die. And he wants you… it’s the first time he’s wanted anything… anyone, in so long…

He won’t force you but his eyes are begging, he knows. As you stand disappointment feels heavy in his gut. But…

The bloodstained rag lands with a thwack in the tub. Your calloused palm rubs the stubble on his cheek before pulling his face to yours. It’s a soft kiss, your mouth warm and inviting. He groans as your hand wraps around his cock.

“Sit,” you whisper against his lips. He lowers to the edge of the tub and you settle between his thighs.

Your fingers trail feather light touches down his chest, your lips following close behind. Lust and adrenaline clear his mind. Even so, there’s nothing but you right now.

Those eyes of yours look up at him, smirk on your full lips. Your tongue languidly runs up the length of him, catching the bead of moisture gathering at his head. His breath stutters and you hesitate.

“Please don’t stop.” He needs this… maybe more than he wants it.

Without hesitation your tongue traces his head before taking the length of him, your eyes never wavering. He hit’s the back of your throat and a growl rumbles in his chest. One hand grips the tub’s edge his other cupping the back of your head.

Lifting up, your hand wraps around his shaft, twisting a touch as your mouth applies the faintest suction to his head. The fingers of your free hand run over his balls and down…

His head falls back. Deft fingers massage the tender flesh just behind his sack while your palm cups his balls, pressing up ever so slightly. After only a few minutes the steady motion… the sound… his exhaustion… everything comes to a peak.

“Y/N… I… I…” The words won’t form. He can’t…

Fingers tangle in your thick hair, his body tenses, and the sound that tears through him is not quite a scream but it’s more than a moan. It reverberates against the tile walls. His body shakes.

When his vision clears he sees you, eye level, brushing a drop of cum from the edge of your grinning mouth. His eyes flutter.

“If you faint on me I swear…”

“No, I… I’m good.” With a shaking hand, he pulls your face to his, kissing you softly. “I am afraid I won’t be able to repay the favor tonight I-”

“Don’t. Consider it a thank you for taking a bullet for me.”

“I didn-”

“Yes, you did.” Your gaze is stern and he knows he can’t argue. He did. He knows he did.

Cleaned up, dressed, and thoroughly spent he lets you lead him to his bed. He winces, as his back meets the mattress.

You sit next to him on the bed, “Do you have anything you can take for pain?”

He shakes his head, “Nothing really works. Perk of being a super soldier…”

“That’s some shit.” He nods. “Are you comfortable enough?”

“Yeah. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” your gaze shifts away.

Sighing you stand. For reasons he’s too exhausted to identify, panic grips his chest and his hand shoots out for yours.

“Don’t go… please… I… I don’t…” Want to be alone. Are the words his pride just won’t let him say, even now.

Your fingers lace between his, “I wasn’t gonna leave you, Steve. Not like this.” Relief floods his body. “I’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

He tightens his grip. “You don’t have to sleep out there… it’s a big bed.” A hopeful, crooked smile lifts his lips.

“Ok… but I’m stealing a shirt.” Your smile makes your eyes flash and his heart leap.

“Fine by me.”

He drifts off once you disappear into the bathroom only waking when he feels you slide into the bed next to him. Eyes at half mast he reaches out to you. Carefully you let him pull you close.

This… the feeling of you next to him, your hand over his heart, cheek on his chest… he didn’t know how desperately he needed this. Despite the wound in his side and everything in his head, he sleeps hard through the night.

Morning’s light slowly wakes him. Already the serum in his veins has worked overtime, the pain far less than it was last night.

A rustling next to him draws his gaze and warmth fills his chest. He expected you to be gone by morning… Instead, you’re sound asleep, back pressed to his side.

His smile is so wide it makes his cheeks ache a bit. Worried that he’ll wake you if he moves he contentedly dozes, opening his eyes here and there to watch the steady rise and fall of your breath or study the colors of your hair in the sunlight.

He wants to paint you… just like this… He closes his eyes, imagining the canvas.

“Good morning,” your voice sounds petal soft. His eyes open to see your face in the warm light, a soft smile on your lips.

“Morning.” Neither of you says more. Somehow you’re content to study the other… Until your phone begins to blare a song from your pants pocket.

“Shit!” Frantically you scramble up and fish the phone from your pants.

“Hey!” Your tone is forced. Someone screams something on the other end, he can’t quite make out the words though. “Not dead. Sorry… I… I know… I… Wade… Just…” He sees your features shift, “Yeah… Yeah, I got it. Love you too.”

You toss the phone on the end of the bed and rub your hands over your face. The last bit of that conversation had him burning though…

“Boyfriend?”

“What?” Your brows knit. “Oh! Fuck no.” You laugh a little and he feels himself cool. “Best friend. He tipped me off about last night, told me not to get involved…”

“And he’s pissed you didn’t listen.”

“Something like that…” You look at him, eyes… sad.

“Y/N?”

“I have to go…” You catch your bottom lip in your teeth.

He shoots up from the bed, wincing at the pain but not stopped by it. “Why? Do they know you-”

“No,” you hold your hands up, resting them against his chest when he stops in front of you. “They suspect though so it’s best I get the hell outta dodge before they can confirm anything.”

“You don’t have to go…” His voice holds a twinge of desperation. “I can get you S.H.I.E.L.D. protection,” something darkens your features at this but he keeps going, “and I would… look out for you.” He rests his hands on your shoulders.

Your eyes fix to the floor, “I can’t, Steve. It’s too risky for both of us.” The twinge in his chest is alleviated a touch by the look of longing on your face when he tilts your chin up.

“I need you to promise me something.” Your somber tone chills him.

“Ok…”

“Look out for yourself, watch your back. Don’t trust anyone, even S.H.I.E.L.D. to protect you…”

“Y/N… I’ve got good people, you don’t have to-”

“Promise me, Steve. Even good people can be bought.”

“They couldn’t buy you,” he traces the curve of your brow down to your soft, rose-colored lips.

That smirk again, “I’m not good people.”

“Yes, you are.” Pulling you to him he kisses you, hard this time, hungry. A few steps back and he has you pinned against the wall, he can feel your heart thundering in your chest.

“You could stay and have my back,” his lips graze the tender flesh under your ear.

“I can’t,” your voice is thick with emotion. When he looks at you tears shimmer in your eyes, threatening to fall.

“Please…” A trembling hand cups his face, “Please, promise me you’ll be smart… don’t-” Your voice cracks but you fight to keep your composure. “Don’t run toward death…”

He’s not certain it’s a promise he can keep but… “I promise, Y/N.” One tear escapes the corner of your eye, he thumbs it away. “But you have to promise the same.”

A bitter laugh pops out, “I’m not the one to worry about here but… yeah. I promise.”

He kisses you again, wanting to hold on to the way it makes his chest burn, the movement of your lips on his the… Feeling of being alive, not just angry, for the first time in a long time.

The two of you say nothing else, each seemingly not trusting what may come from your mouth, as you change. He sits on the edge of the bed, watching you, dreading the moment he has to let you go.

“You should definitely get that looked at,” you gesture to the bandage.

“What? Don’t trust your tabletop nursing skills?”

“Absolutely not.”

He slowly stands, “I will.”

Without prompting, you wrap your arms around him, taking care to avoid his injury, and tuck your face in his neck. The two of you stand like that for a while.

There are so many things he wants to say but he doesn’t. He just contents himself with burying his nose in your hair, allowing the warm intimacy of the moment to wash over him.

A heavy sigh tickles over his skin and he knows it’s time to let go.

At the door you turn back to him, eyes glassy once more. “Remember, don’t trust anyone… not with everything.”

“I got it.” One final time his lips press to yours, slow and longing.

Your forehead rests against his, your eyes speaking volumes, as you whisper, “I’ll miss you, Steve Rogers.”

Those three words hit him harder than that bullet had. His mouth hangs slack just a touch.

You smile, “Gonna catch a fly.” Playfully you lift up his chin. “Be safe.”

“You too, Y/N.”

One more kiss… and again… you’re gone.

-

True to form. Steve Rogers surprises you. This time by wheedling his way into your heart and mind so deep you cannot fucking shake him.

To protect you both you don’t call or text, the risk too high. You do, however, send him a letter. There’s no return address and no long written missives. The papers contain numbers, coordinates for a house in Buffalo New York and two words. Love, Zelda With a red lip print over them.

You don’t expect him to come here. All you wanted was for him to know you were safe and that if he needed a place to go he had it.

A few jobs came and went. Winter faded into spring. You began to wonder if maybe you could meet up now if things had quieted enough. Because despite trying desperately to convince yourself otherwise… you desperately missed him.

Then all hell broke loose.

Glued in front of your TV you watch in horror as S.H.I.E.L.D., quite literally falls. You’re blowing up with information from all your contacts. Inbox, dark web forums, everything.

Hours pass that feel like days… No one had reported on Steve’s condition, just that Captain America had been spotted in the fight. A curious numb sensation creeps over you at the thought that he may be gone.

Finally, someone comes through. This time it’s not your usual sources but an old military friend. Rogers was in his hospital, injured but not at risk of death, and no, he wasn’t alone. Someone, a male friend, was with him. Had been the whole time. You nearly sob from relief.

As media attention on the fiasco rises you know there’s no way for you to get close without being spotted. The last thing he needs is to be seen with someone like you. So you allow yourself to be thankful that he’s still here, letting that be enough.

Several weeks later you pass out hard after a long, trying day.

The Hydra files Romanoff released had rocked your world. Nearly everyone you knew had been pinged by those bastards at some point. Including you. This meant everyone was reevaluating their loyalties, cutting ties, and more than a few had already been put down… The fear and paranoia were real and exhausting.  

When a sound from your kitchen hits your ears in the middle of the night you shoot up. Hand already wrapped around the pistol under your pillow. Apparently, this was the day.

Not bothering with formalities like pants, you quietly creep to your cracked bedroom door and nudge it open just enough. Without a sound you stalk down the short hall, breath bated.

All you can see in the dim light is the intruder’s back. Wide, shoulders move as they finish a bottle of whiskey and set it down, not even trying to be quiet. A car passes and illuminates familiar golden hair. Steve…

You lower your gun, “Wanna tell me what you’re doing in my kitchen at three in the morning?”

He turns slowly, the shadows making his features almost sinister. “Did you know?” Voice barely above a whisper.

“Know what?” You set the gun on a side table and move to stand on the opposite side of the kitchen island. “About S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

Almost too fast for your eyes to follow, he rounds the counter, grabbing your shoulders and pinning you hard against the wall. Your breath is heavy from a mix of fear and maybe a touch of excitement.  

“Fuck S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“Ok,” your voice breathy as you try to regain composure. “Well for what it’s worth, no, I suspected S.H.I.E.L.D. but I didn’t have anything concrete. Hydra…” Your eyes dart away, “That I did know about…”

“No,” his fingers dig into your upper arms, his breath scented with whiskey. “The Winter Soldier,” he spits the title out, “did you know who he was?!”

You look back to him, brows knit. “Uh… until a few weeks ago I thought he was the bogeyman of criminals… so… no. Should I know him?”

Some of the rage seeps from Steve’s features, “Steve?” You place your hand against his unshaven cheek.

In an instant, his mouth covers yours, warm and whiskey flavored. You almost groan in satisfaction. His massive form presses into you and you savor the sensation.

He runs his hands down your sides as your arms curl around his neck. When he slips his hand in the front of your boy shorts you make a small sound, you already know what he’ll find.

When he feels your moisture, those strong fingers sliding just over your damp folds a grin fills his face but he doesn’t make a move.

“Please,” you echo his request from months before.

That's all it takes. His lips crash against yours, teeth knocking slightly, and two of his fingers slip in, stretching you open. You moan into his mouth, hips bucking, your body hungry for him.

Wanting to touch him your hands move under his shirt, holding his sides as he works your cunt. When his fingers curl up just enough your nails dig into his skin. You feel the tension gather in your abdomen. Wordlessly you beg him not to stop.

“Steve…” Your breath hitches.

His thumb rolls lightly over your clit. Your head would have thudded against the wall had he not cupped it, forcing your gaze to stay on him. His blue eyes burn into you, he picks up the pace, thumb making steady circles over your throbbing clit.

“Fuck… fuck…”

“Come for me,” he growls.

You do. In earth-shattering fashion. Crying out, electricity pulses through your body, your legs tremble, your knees give way. He pulls his hand out of your underwear and catches you, holding your trembling body close.

This lasts only until you feel the length of him move through his denim. That was incredible but you want all of him.

Your unsteady hands reach for his belt. Fingers, that can’t quite obey orders yet try to convince the offending garment to give up its prize. His hands grasp yours, stopping their work.

He kisses you, the distraction enough that you don’t resist him as he spins you toward the island. Strong hands turn you, pressing your back to his chest.

Lips trail down your neck, goosebumps cover your skin. He catches the hem of your tee and pulls it over your head. Not trusting your legs to hold you, your hands brace against the counter and his teeth bite at the soft flesh where your neck and shoulders meet.

“Steve,” you breathe out.

The tinkling of his belt buckle hits your ears and fuck, a zipper going down had never sounded so promising.

His hand wraps lightly around your throat, tilting your head back just under his chin. “How do you want it?” His voice burning velvet.

Your eyes flit to his, “Give me everything. Don’t hold back.” Lust sparks in his eyes and he kisses you breathless.

Moving your underwear to the side with one hand and pressing your chest to the counter with the other he slams the full length of his cock into you. You gasp raggedly, body pressing back to him. This is the best kind of hurt.

Steel fingers dig into your hips holding you steady as he fucks you so hard you forget anything else. Your moans and cries mingle with his low sounds. Everything is this.

His hands release you but he doesn’t stop fucking you. Vaguely, you’re aware of something falling to your side. When he grabs a fistful of your hair pulling you up against him you realize it was his shirt, his burning flesh pressed to your own.

The other hand dips into your sopping boy shorts and effortlessly locates your clit once more, his cock throbbing inside you.

“Look at me,” he says in a gravel tone. You do as he asks and a whimper slips from you, his fingers and cock driving you mad. “You like that, baby?”

Words are lost. He fills your parted lips with a kiss and you fill his mouth with your cries of pleasure as you come once more.

You can hardly breathe now, much less stand. With a self-satisfied smirk on his lips, he lifts you into his arms. Your hungry mouth kisses and nibbles the salty skin of his neck as he carries you back to your room.

Tossing you on the bed he slips out of his jeans and you free yourself of your underwear. For a moment he just stares at you, on your back in the dim space, legs spread, waiting for him to take you.

Moving with the fluidity of a big cat he hovers over you. Your hands trail over the solid muscles of his back, fascinated at the power housed in this body.

This time he enters you slowly. Your legs wrap around him and a low rumble vibrates through his chest.

“Y/N,” he hums next to your ear.

You grab his face, bringing it up so you can see him. His breath is ragged. Intentionally you tighten your walls against him his lids flutter and a soft moan falls from his lips.

His pace quickens and your body responds, hips rising to meet him, demanding evermore.

“Fuck,” he breathes out grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head with one hand. The other lifts your head to more easily kiss you.

“C-can I,” he stutters between kisses.

“Yes,” your legs tighten around him, “god yes.”

He roars, your back arches up, moan raw tearing from some hidden place in you. Then there’s nothing but the soft sounds of your panting breaths.

Steve’s body shakes, the weight of it on you strangely comforting. When he looks at you all the rage and fire are gone, replaced with a mournful sadness. The past few weeks had been hard on you… they had to be hell on earth for him.

Tenderly you kiss him. “Stay here.”

His brows knit, “You sure…? I… I… don’t…”

“Hush,” your fingers try to coax the lines of his forehead into relaxing. “I want you to stay.”

You’re thankful he doesn’t protest more. In fact, he doesn’t say much of anything. He does let you hold him. At times you think he may be crying but his cheeks are dry despite his labored breathing.

You’re drifting off, for now resting your head on his chest, when he asks, “Do you like your bed?”

“Huh?” You aren’t sure your groggy brain understood.

“Your bed. Do you… like it?”

You consider for a minute. “It’s ok. Kinda soft.” Honestly, you could never find the right firmness.

He laughs a little, “Apparently it’s a complaint a lot of Vets have. Bed’s being too soft.”

Leaning up on an elbow you look down at him, “Ya know… You’re right. Friend’s of mine complained about that too. Sometimes…” You shake your head a bit at yourself, “Sometimes I even sleep on the floor if I can’t fall asleep in my bed.”

Steve softly caresses the side of your face, a weak smile on his lips, “Me too.”

“Do you want to?” Hopping off the bed you pull the comforter off, not giving him time to answer. “Grab the pillows. No need to deny ourselves that small comfort.”

“We don’t… I wasn’t…”

You’re already laying the comforter on the ground. “I want to. Now come on.”

He brings the pillows over and arranges them while you grab another blanket for you both to cover up with. Quickly the two of you settle down.

After a while, Steve whispers into your hair, “Thank you.”

“You don’t have anything to thank me for, Rogers.”

“Yeah, I do.” You look up at him, his eyes glassy in the dim light. “You saw all of me… the darkest parts… from the beginning and you didn’t run away.”

“Technically…” You tease.

“Shut up,” he smiles but a tear finally works it’s way free. You brush it away.

“You’re not alone, Steve. We all have our dark sides. I’m right there with you.”

He nods, chewing on his bottom lip. 

Now the tears come. Silent at first and he doesn’t let you brush them away or offer him comfort of any kind. He just hides his face, one knee pulled up. When the sobs start you don’t let him push you away.

You can’t fathom the depth of his grief. Everything and everyone he lost… now he had the one thing that gave him stability ripped from under his feet… You don’t have to truly understand it to anchor him though.

Captain America may look out for everyone else. He may be the beacon and hero the country, hell the world, needs right now… But you, you would look out for Steve Rogers. No matter what.

@mywinterwolf @disagreetoagree @breezy1415 @peachthatdrinkslemonade @wonderlandmind4 @piensa-bonito @buckysstar @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @siriuslycloudy2

[destiny-smasher]

Kingdom Hearts 3 impressions

So, uh, I will ONLY be talking about stuff up until the very start of the second World, and only AFTER the break. Kingdom Hearts 1 was an incredibly important and influential piece of media when I was growing up. I was writing fic based on Smash Bros. just before KH rolled onto the scene was like, “Yo, Disney and Final Fantasy, BAM, fuckin’ random? fucking RADDDD” and I was all about it. You had FF characters remixed with OCs remixed with Disney characters, and the villains were all crossing over to form the League of Bad Cartoons, it was a great time. And then Nomura realized his gamble was a win and decided to waste the next 15 years of everyone’s time shoving in every trope he liked, every IDEA that felt “cool” together into a mish mash of whatever the hell this “narrative” has become. Suffice it to say, I’ve got beef with Kingdom Hearts as a “story.” It just occurred to me today that a big part of this is thematic/tonal.

But it’s also VERY rare, maybe even unprecedented, for a piece of media like Kingdom Hearts 3 to come around. For years, then months, then weeks, then days, I told myself, “It’s not real, that game doesn’t exist, I won’t believe it until I’m literally playing it” and just could not be bothered to be hype or interested, if only because Nomura’s “vision”, from my perspective, warped something I admired in my youth into a fucking train wreck, leaving me very little to feel emotionally invested in outside of Aqua and by proxy the two lads she is trying to protect. (also I GUESS I’m slightly invested in Axel/Xion/Roxas.../Namine? for similar reasons now that I think about it?) Well, guess what? Kingdom Hearts VERY WELL might be real, and I very well might be about three hours into it. And for all of the beef I have with the plot, I am fucking relieved that those three hours have felt/sounded good, as a video game. NOW we’re gonna talk about the first World. --

When I first heard that Olympus was gonna be the first World in KH3 I was disappointed and BAFFLED. We’re visiting that place a THIRD time? And why THAT World? Turns out, there’s actually some substantial thematic relevance and that’s actually A-OK, not to mention that starting with a familiar world after ALL OF THIS TIME is not such a bad way to kick things off. First off, structurally, I actually really enjoyed the way this world played out. Two of my biggest problems with KH as a video game series have been that worlds feel like empty, vacant, haunted houses, and that said worlds are usually small and linear with a lot of pointless backtracking. Olympus fixes all of this. There are NPCs. Actual fucking PEOPLE in this world. Sure, they’re just people in danger, calling for help, but they’re THERE for once! And they have vocies! EVERY line of dialogue (except for like one “plot” moment) has actually been voiced so far! About time. Also. This World is not as linear as most KH Worlds. In fact, it help more open and dynamic than ANY World in any KH game so far, not to mention it featured three, THREE (wtf) unique and distinct types of settings. The city, the mountain, and Olympus. Nice. ALSO also. The music. We’ve been here before. We KNOW that Olympus theme from earlier games. And as you traverse the city, up the mountain, you hear this more sweeping, movie-like version, and it’s like “oh whoa nice” aaaaand then you get TO Olympus and it KICKS in, the old song, up to modern snuff. That was great. That was a thing that really helped convey “Kingdom Hearts is back, baby.” The World was big, compared to typical KH worlds. It had multiple nooks and crannies to explore, side-paths to go down, treasure to find hidden away. There is a LOT of verticality. Running up walls and seamlessly hopping over things in the environment makes traversal more enjoyable than it ever has been. Even though a lot of the World is technically a linear path it’s not structured like a path. Going off and exploring rewards you with items and the like, and the World is big enough to actually feel like you have places to poke around in. Having said this, WHY is there no...map? Like. You literally COLLECT Maps from Chests like you used to. But near as I can tell, there’s no way to pull up an actual MAP, to seer where the main path is, to see where the side paths are. It’s boggling. Maybe the game has the option hidden away somewhere but if so, that’s just silly. And if there’s just no actual map option at ALL that’s just...baffling. There were barely any load times for how much SPACE there was to navigate, and things looked very shiny and pretty, and ran at a smooth 60 fps MOST of the time. Tech specs aren’t everything, but when your brand is built on “looking pretty” it sure af helps when you bring scale AND a smooth framerate to match. It’s weird, and a bit jarring, sometimes in a good way, to see all of this stuff rendered in modern tech. Stuff looks...a little too plasticy a lot of the time, (which actually ought to pay off when we get to Toy Story?) but the environments so far feel rich and vast and detailed all at once in a way we just have never seen the series, because we’re basically jumping from PS2-level tech to PS4. So that difference in production is more noticeable for the wait -- I just wish things looked a bit more...I guess cel-shaded? Like the original trailer. Things (specifically, characters) look a little too flat/plasticy at times, for how pretty things are. Combat seems to be as flashy as ever and I’m sure I’ll feel differently as I get further in and unlock more options but it’s still too easy, simple, and mashy for my tastes. I am HOPING we get more moments that require quick reflexes and specific tactics like the harder moments of older KH games. The amusement rides mechanic is...weird. It’s given NO context in universe. And they last a little too long/feel too overpowered for how easy they are to utilize. Similarly, there are frequently seemingly random party-member tag-team attacks that...just seem like “press triangle to win” moves. I wish they entailed more interaction, and/or felt less common/random. I like the IDEA of these kinds of moves, especially ones that change your controls/method of attack for a few seconds (like Hercules’ team attack) but the execution makes them feel too cheap and easy to abuse, with combat that’s ALREADY skewing on the “too easy” side for the genre. I like the “form change” for keyblades, and that you can swap keyblades in the middle of a fight. Really hoping this allows for some good tactical stuff later -- buuuuut that would also require the game to ASK OF ME to do more than “mash X,” which KH as a brand typically does not do... Characters SPEAK in reaction to gameplay moments, when you initiate things in the environment, etc. It’s a nice touch that makes them feel more like characters in an RPG. Donald and Goofy are ALWAYS in the party, alongside the Disney member(s). NICE. Maybe KH3 is putting its best foot forward, but overall, I was pleasantly surprised with Olympus. It single-handedly corrected MOST of the issues I’ve ever had with Kingdom Hearts level design. I only hope the momentum keeps going. Moving on, Gummi Ships. What little I played is easily the best they have every been. I love having an open world with optional places/fights to explore, while still giving me those shmup-like bursts of action. The Gummi Phone seems like a fun mechanic, and taking selfies/photos makes SENSE for this game because of how visually detailed it is -- but the pleasant surprise was how I took selfies with Donald and Goofy and they REACTED to it, starting to pose and commenting on it. On the other hand, the loading screen being nonsensical “social media” posts from KH characters...I don’t like it thanks go away. x’D I’ve spent only a few minutes in Twilight Town and INSTANTLY I am so much more enamored than I ever was in previous games. Not just due to the bump up in visual fidelity, but also because -- GASP -- NPCs??? Are you trying to tell me this is an actual TOWN that people LIVE IN?? Holy shit, Kingdom Hearts, I never knew! For all of this stuff I liked, though, KH3 is still...a KH game. Which means after you get through the intro, after you gear up to land in Olympus, the game flashes the title: “Kingdom Hearts II.9″ ...no. Just no. Fuck. Stop doing this shit. Whenever an Organization 13 member (or EX member) shows up and starts speaking all cocky in riddles like the flamboyant anime jackass they are, whenever Mickey starts dead-ass blathering about weird nonsense whenever the plot HAS to acknowledge “oh right Sora golly gawrsh ya FURRGOT this random bullshit a-FYUCK better shove this expository throwaway dialogue right in here before we go n’ furrget again!” whenever Kairi continues to be irrelevant and invisible after ALL THIS TIME whenever Rikku has to say some obligatory thing about his darkness or his copy of himself or Ansem or whatever whenever the plot informs Sorta/Dornold/Goffy about another convoluted ridiculous THING that we already know about and they MAYBE already know about because it is OBLIGATED to because this game’s entire purpose has become to “wrap things up already Nomura” I am reminded of the freshly opened scar on my heart from how much SHIT this series has dragged itself through for...what? Nothing worth all of this, IMO. Thankfully, these moments feel less and less pressing in KH3′s opening hours than they certainly could be, though I’m sure the closing hours of the game -- once they’ve tidily gotten all of that silly, inconsequential DISNEY CONTENT out of the way (even though that’s the BULK of the game environments and HALF of the series’ identity/purpose) -- those closing hours will surely be packed to the gills with all of this crazy crap. Maybe by then I might finally care enough to finally get the catharsis I’ve waited over a decade for. I dunno. I’m just relieved the game looks, plays, sounds, and feels as good as it does so far. EDIT: almost forgot to mention this since it hasn’t actually come up yet BUT I picked up a BUNCH of “ingredients”??? Like. FOR COOKING??? Which is one of my all-time favorite mechanics in a video game?? (thanks Paper Mario) So I’m at LEAST excited to see what THAT is all about.

[xluckytheninjax]

I am pretty damn proud of this {It took me the whole day to draw,then redraw and color on PC}

It’s yet another South Park drawing.This one is showing off my New kid,Max’s superhero costume for The Fractured but Whole.It doesn’t exist in game,but,eh,so what.Used a pose as reference,again.You’ll see the paint has a light pink shade,but that is because it’s red glow in the dark paint {Maybe I’ll draw another one to show that off}. I just realised the skull ‘n crossbones is positioned wrong,but honestly,I’m too lazy to fix that now.It’s almost midnight...Which means I worked on this for almost 5 hours.

Along with this,I’m gonna post Max’s character sheet.But,as writing and with one or two extra things.I’m aware some of the stuff was already mentioned in the bio I posted,but,eyyy.

Gonna post some FBW related stuff too.

Superhero name: Chaos Destroyer {It’s pretty dumb,but the kid didn’t have much time to think of something good.Based it off his gamer tag}

Alias: Max Chaos

Class: Blaster - Elementalist - Assassin - Plantmancer

Race/Ethnicity: White Scottish nerd

Sex/Gender: Pansexual cisgender boy

Alignment: Lawful {”Pretty ironic for someone with the surname and nickname Chaos,don’t you think?”}

Religion: He found Jesus during SoT...so Christian

Power source: Heart + music

Kryptonite: Math

Economic level: 1% {Aaaaand it’s gone}

Chosen team before the merge: Freedom pals {”While a ton of my friends were a part of Coon and Friends,the Freedom Pals were just...nicer...and cooler...and didn’t have a bossy fatass as leader.”}

Choose between fighter,archer,healer,assassin: Healer

Some random stuff during the events of FBW below the cut.

Changing the story a little,whenever there was a battle between Coon and Friends and the Freedom Pals,Max tried to stop the fight each time.He didn’t fight for or against either group.He allowed his ass to get kicked if it meant the fighting would stop.He understood that the two groups has their reasons for fighting,but he didn’t want to be a part of that.

He considered joining Professor Chaos at some point,but,then his name wouldn’t make sense.He was there to destroy the chaos,not join in on it.

"What would a king be without his kingdom,and chaos without it's destroyer?"

To gain trust among every single member of Coon and friends and Freedom Pals {Before and after the merge,Prof/Chaos and Call girl included} he took a lot of hits during battle protecting them {Always quotes song lyrics if the person asks “Why the hell did you just do that?!”}

He feels so bad for all the gerbil/hamster minions that probably died during everything.

He didn’t do the missions given to him by the asshole from the police station.

Wish he could’ve gotten a ninja outfit for defeating so many ninjas

He got less sleep than he normally does with the night missions,so he was real stubborn

He found himself talking a lot more since the superhero thing started.He still kept quiet while with his parents,and he only talks to certain people.

-shrugs- I got a lot more stuff,but I have to go to bed..so yeah

I’ll add a dA watermark or something to this in the morning,just to prevent people from using it or reposting it or whatever.

DON’T YOU DAMN DARE DO THAT

[jinniejohns-blog]

get to know me tag

okkkk so i was tagged by @whenjikookhappens and @idunknowhyimhere for one version, and @sashagirl1116 for another version...right?? maybe more but honestly for some of ‘em, i’m super late to getting to this OTL forgive me, but i’m combining them since they’re similar and i’m lazy :3

1ST RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better (I think I might break this rule, because I don’t have 9 people askhakjss)

2ND RULE: Fill in the categories

Appearance: i have shoulder-length curly ass hair that’s dark brown (so dark to the point where it just looks black at this point-). i am 5′5″ i believe (approx. 167cm according to google) and have brown eyes. i’m always wearing black because i live that #Emo lifestyle....jkjk, no but i always wear either sweaters or hoodies/overthrows and pants- it’s a rare occasion if you see me in a dress, skirt, or shorts but it can happen if i’m feeling up to it.

Personality: i’m super quiet and reserved if i don’t know people (i try not to be online, but am still awkward as all hell) but i’m super lame when you get to know me. like, very lame. so lame i’m surprised if you don’t leave. that lame. i like to make lame jokes and puns a lot, but sometimes hold myself back because even i embarrass myself sometimes (all the time). i like to tease the people i feel close to, so outsiders may think i’m just a bitch, but i swear i’m not...or at least i try not to be *hides* ummmM i’m also sarcastic af if i know you well (or feel that comfortable) and i speak fluent meme. i’m very emotion-based in my actions, so don’t mess with those i love unless you’re looking to catch these hands!! :)

Ability: iiiiiii don’t have any “SUPER WOW AMAZING” abilities lol, but i draw and write aaaaand can play piano by ear *shrug* i dunno what my IQ is but apparently i pick things up quickly and am good at teaching myself stuff from either just experimenting or using...my...brain... so people say that’s smart, no idea. (i don’t believe them but sure, why not-) i dunno if this would count as an ability, probably a negative one, but i’m a toTAL WORD DUMPSTER. like, you’ll see in this because i can just type and type and talk and talk and saljsalsja i also ramble a lot along with this, so that’s also great. but yeah i shall stop myself now.

Hobbies: as mentioned above, writing and drawing are my main hobbies! also just listening to music (or musicals) in my cocoon (blanket) lol i don’t do much  because duh, i’m lame. 

Experiences: hmm this’ll be more like injury stories because those are fun. ok story uno: i was born with a hole in my heart!! :D i was apparently super close to dying because duh, nothing was functioning right and had to get my first surgery ever while only a couple seconds old. mmm there was also this one time where i was riding my scooter in my family’s garage on easter (i was like 6 or 8) and i bumped into the grill which had rose clippers on it. the rose clippers fell and sliced my foot open from heel to toe. i didn’t even notice tho and kept riding until my aunt was like saying how i’m trailing blood somehow and looked at my foot and screamed...then i started crying like a baby (ofc) and got 8 stitched and a cast. i didn’t understand why they wouldn’t let me walk tho and made it worse becAUSE I WAS A STUPID ASS KID. uhh another time i was riding my bike on the road and i was standing and riding (like this) and my foot slipped so i fell right on the road. my face hit the concrete and my arm was twisted and underneath the bike. me being the stupid 8-11 year old i was froze and started to cry because there was a car driving towards me and i thought they’d run me over. the car stopped, duh, but i was still convinced i’d get hit and i couldn’t frickin move because i was weak, so my mom had to come and get me after i was screaming bloody murder for her nonstop. i’m so embarrassed by that one because i was so dramatic ugh...and iN PUBLIC TOO ASKHSLJSA i’m the clumsiest person ever (namjoon level, bro) so injuries (either minor, major, or just plain stupid) happen a lot.

My Life:  well i go to a charter school, which is basically home school except i have to go onto “campus” (we call it campus, it’s a regular school building) twice a week. but majority of everything is completed online. mmmm right now i’m trying not to fail math as i continue my hate for biology ^_^ i live with my parents, grandparents, and younger siblings. i wanna be some sort of artist or writer, but i’m just not sure yet soooo yeah.

Relationships: i’ve never been in any sort of serious relationship. i once dated this guy online but i was, like, 12 so i don’t really count it, nor mention it (until now pfft). bUT my tumblr wifey is none other than @ithefanfictionwriter (aren’t i just the luckiest person alive to have them?? *sighs fondly*)

Random Stuff: if i get into the right mindset i like to bake. like, a lot. i always have these random bursts of creativity and/or motivation where i just wanna try shit .. like right at that moment, no waiting because i’ll most likely not wanna do it later. so now. right now. i’m also impatient af if you couldn’t tell. hmmm most of the time, i don’t like watching movies or anything like that because i have such a short attention span and will most likely get bored within a couple minutes. i’m in other fandoms that aren’t relating to kpop- i.e., talk to me about hamilton, heathers (both the movie & musical), deh, camp camp, eddsworld, rick and morty, etc. etc. and i’ll love you forever!!!!! i used to be into hetalia but only when i was younger so majority of it’s been pushed outta my mind, hence why i never mention because i don’t want people to think i’m hARDCOre ‘cause i’m honestly not. 

das it!! wow, look at all those words. i’m sorry if you read through it all. this is why all my essays turn out to be 2000 words over the word limit majority of the time and- shit i’m doing it again. I’LL SHUT UP AND TAG PEOPLE: @futuristicgardenerbasement , @jhopesun , @chimchimswifey95 (i know you lol but no one else does so get typing dorky), @thewordbedlookslikeabed , @neckpillows , @chockenscritch and that’s all because i dunno who else to tag (oops).

[random-mha-thoughts]

Miss Missing You (Life Update)

Ahem yes that’s the title of this post

Boy am I tired and exhausted being awake since 5 am on 5 hours of sleep

Hello~🥰 all my lovelies who are still awake and chugging along out in this world that’s slowly descending into the depths of hell (it’s ok guys, just a little more than 3 months and it’ll be over...hopefully).  I hope you’ve all been well, taking care of yourselves, drinking lots of water, and reminding yourself how amazing and wonderful you are and why you deserve to wake up every morning.  And if you started school again, stay safe and good luck, I know you can do it, push through this

Before I say anything, I wanna say hi and welcome to the - holy crap - 300 more followers I’ve gotten since I started being inactive.  I have no idea how you found this blog since it’s been radio silence, but thank you~ Enjoy your stay~

Also just a casual shout out to @mister-future for the reblog spam a few days ago, thank you so much dear 😘

Aaaaand I’m plugging a few events from my Discord server, POC Week that just wrapped up and a new Fantasy Week event where they’re still looking for a few writers to join in, so go check those out if you’re interested~ Sadly I won’t be participating, but I give all my love and support for both so please show them some love too.

Now you’re probably wondering or not “Chibi, where have you been?!  It’s been nearly a month!  You promised us Kiss of Death part 2!”

Well...see... the thing is... I don’t think I’ll be writing part 2... Hold the rotten tomatoes, let me finish!

Some of you might’ve seen from one of the last tag posts I did, but I never really made a formal announcement for this and I was meaning to do one early a month ago but life caught up to me and here we are.  It’s not that big of a deal or anything, I’m not dying, I’m not moving, nothing like that.  What I’m trying to say is in August I started PA school, which is basically about 70% of med school crammed into 2 years.  Nonstop, no long breaks, even taking classes during summer.  And as you can imagine, it’s a lot of work.  Many times, my schedule has me up at 5 am, class at 7 until 3, I come home, study, eat, study, shower, wind down for 30 min or so and then sleep.  On average, I sleep for ~6 hours a night and the entire rest of my day I’m studying.  My only break days are Friday and Saturday, and Sunday I have to play catch up from the week and review/study.  I have at least 1-2 exams every single week.

What I’m trying to say is it’s a lot, it’s a commitment I decided to take where I trade my social life and maybe my mental stability for 2 years and get a hopefully secure medical job with a nice salary and never have to go to school again.  I thought I’d have time at least on the weekends to write as a mental break, but most of my Saturdays are spent taking half-day long naps.  I didn’t anticipate that the mental and physical toll it would take on me would be this much.  Today I was lucky to have class finish early and I finished my allotted studying early enough for me to make up for my lost sleep (I’m tired right now, can’t you tell how by how much I’m rambling? lol), but I told myself, “If you don’t write this now, you’re never gonna get to it again.”  So here I am~ Running on fumes and almost falling asleep at my keyboard because I know I owe you an explanation.

Point is, writing isn’t really in my agenda right now.  It can’t fit in my irregular, constantly-changing-yet-consistently-stressful PA school schedule.  I wish I had the energy to pull myself together and give you guys something once a week, but my body and my mind can’t do it, and for that I’m truly sorry.  I really miss this blog and writing and all of you, but I have priorities that go above it for now.

Am I saying you won’t be seeing anything of me until December?  It’s a very likely possibility.  I’m crossing my fingers that I can put out something, even a little thing sometime in between, but for now I think it’s safe to say I’m out of commission until December.  I really hope you guys understand 🙏🏼

I love you all so much, thank you for sticking with me through the long update/announcement.  Please stay safe and healthy, remember that you’re loved and you deserve the whole world, and there is no one else who can replace you 💖

~Chibi

[fabbyale]

I was tagged by @a-deadly-serenade! 2 days ago, but I’m doing it now Thank you!!

1. What fandom(s) are you most into right now?

A little bit of everything, although recently I’ve gotten back into Yu-Gi-Oh my guilty pleasure and classic Disney cartoons (black and white Mickey Mouse and the such) aaaaand Animaniacs! 

2. Has said fandom(s) been involved in any drama lately?

I actually have no idea. I’m on tumblr occasionally throughout the day, but that’s all I’ve been doing. I am submerged in school and finishing up my applications for both graduate school and study abroad. I haven’t even been watching my usual shows either. I’ll catch up when it gets put on Netflix. 

3. Do you contribute to your various fandoms in any way? (fan-art, writing, videos, songs, photo edits)

I used to write fan fiction and have done some pieces of art, but yeah, that was yeeeaaaars ago. I’d love to get back into it WHEN I GET THE TIME. I sometimes make posts on this website, but it’s weird if it gets more than 10 notes haha

4. Has any show/book/movie had any sort of significant impact on your life?

Disney for sure. I was so into Disney that I was an art major during my first semester because I wanted to become an animator and then I realized that I’m an okay artist at best. Belle has always been my favorite princess and it got to the point that I wanted to be her. I used to hate reading. Belle loved it. I forced myself to read. Now I’m applying for a master’s in English and American literature lol

5. Which character do you feel as though you connect with the most? (from any of your fandoms!)

I can’t really think of a specific character in a fandom, so I’ll just say this one time I really connected with a book character. 

Eleanor Vance in Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House

6. Is there one aspect about your favorite book/show/movie that you would like to change? Why or why not?

That Sherlock was run by someone other than Stephen Moffat, because then I feel guilty for loving it so much.

7. Is there one character that you absolutely cannot stand, whereas most other fans really like them?

Kylo fucking Ren. But in like a good way. I mean, he’s a pretty good villain, but I hate how fans have romanticized the hell out of him. Give me a good redemption/death in episode 9/8! 

8. Is there one ship that you absolutely cannot stand, whereas most other fans really like it?

I know I’m not alone in this, but nonetheless, I still see it on my feed often. I hate Superman/Wonder Woman. I haaaate it. Also with the exception of DickBabs, any Bat family members with each other. It feels too incesty to me. 

9. Do you associate any songs with any of your favorite characters?

“The Last Amazing Grays” by Sonata Arctica. I somehow associated that with Dick Grayson, especially his origin and with his relationship with Batman. And because of the lyrics, there is this little story that goes through my head that maybe I’ll write down one day if I ever get back into writing fan fiction. And the song is about wolves. 

10. Which fandom have you been apart of the longest?

DISNEY. Probably my first fandom ever. There are pictures of me in my nursery and it’s decorated in Mickey and Friends stuff. 

11. Would you say that you’ve had mostly good experiences with other fans? If not, then why do you think that is?

Yeah! No one has been an asshole to me thus far :) I have yet to be criticized for being a female comic book geek, but I did step in one time to help out a fellow female geek who was being harassed on this website. 

Ok, the rules say that I gotta tag 11 people and write out 11 questions, but man, I am feeling super lazy after writing all this down. I tag whoever reads this and answer the questions I just answered! :) i’m a piece of shit

[babycracker]

about me

thank you for the tags @detective-sweetheart (i'm sorry it took me so long!) and @amlovelies. under the cut!

name/nickname: kathryn/kat

pronouns: she/her ; star sign: pisces ; height: 5'9

time: 9:40am

birthday: march 13

favorite bands: ughhh i hate this question, lol. don't really have one

favorite solo artists: see above

song stuck in my head: some fucking how, i have no idea how it got there, but cake by the ocean by dnce is in there and it's driving me MAD

last show: luciferrrrrr. holy hell the emotional whiplash, amiright @kelseaaa

last movie: not me having to go to netflix to jog my memory, it was insidious

when did I create this blog: december 2020

what do I post: mostly wayhaven, mostly my writing but i reblog a lot of art and goofy stuff, other ppl's fics too when i'm not being slack - which isn't often. lately there have been some sporadic mb, atoc and grishaverse reblogs.

last thing I googled: lmao please. "slugs" bc my son kept asking me what they look like even though he knows perfectly well.

other blogs: none that i use.

why I chose my URL: because i am a shameless a-stan and... i mean, it's pretty self explanatory right?

do I get asks: sometimes! bc i post like daily ask bait lol. i love asks though, what can i say?

following: nunya

followers: nunya again

average hours of sleep: um. like anywhere between 3 - 7 hours most nights.

lucky number: i have two, 4 and 8

instruments: guitar

what am I wearing: pj pants, singlet and hoodie (lockdown casual, read: bogan)

dream trip: since my chat with @preslemore, disneyworld in florida

favorite food: don't have one. i like food in general too much to pick a favourite lol

languages: english, australian (yes they're sometimes different lol), german but not confidently

favorite song: don't have one

last book read: book 1 of shadow and bone, FINALLY FINISHED

top three fictional universes i’d like to live in: eh idk. i don't like answering this question bc my brain's too fickle so i feel like imma lock down smth that i'm not gonna like anymore in like a week and make a fool of myself. more than usual, anyway.

i think this one's still making the rounds?? so imma tag @masonsfangs @possumsunshine @kohikki @mistyeyedbi @nerdferatum @winterkeys aaaaand @agentsunshine bc dammit you will bloody do smth that i've tagged you in, woman 😘 but no pressure, ofc lol. (some of the tags might be a little out of the blue and i'm sorry but i'm being nosey lol)

[white-queen-lacus]

Tagging game :)

Thank you, dear @abybweisse for having tagged me too! <3 1. How has your opinion of yourself changed over the years? Unfortunately yes. I say “unfortunately” because when I was younger I used to be emotionally stronger, but the presence of certain people in my life made me become less confident (especially when it comes to people whom I love deeply, because I am more vulnerable to their opinions and attacks and I started suffering of panic attacks because of this). 2. If you had to pick one book to read for the rest of your life, which book would you pick? Kushiel’s Legacy (both Phèdre and Imriel’s saga) series. Those books are an endless source of inspiration. 3. What’s your favorite season? Do you have a particular reason for liking it? I’d say summer because of the light (I feel better when there is light all around). But here summer is like Hell because it’s hot af, so we are in July and I can breath flames… XD 4. What’s your favorite thing to do when you want to relax? Daydream about stories. Preferably mine… XD The ones I should write, the ones I wrote but I still have something to say. 5. Do you consider yourself lazy? I was born under the sign of Cancer. So yes, I am basically a lazy person, but when I find something interesting, I am not lazy anymore. 6. What’s your view on morality? I feel that many things do not go as they were meant to go, because we live in a very unfair world. To be honest, I believe that it is very important to listen to people’s reasons, but this is not so easy, because we are often too focussed on our beliefs. So it depends. 7. When are you most productive? When I am under pressure. Exams helped me a lot in this (instead of studying XD). Luckily I am about to finish! 8. Do you have any strong opinions about things most people don’t think much about? Love. About love. I strongly believe that love (in a romantic way) exists only in fiction, and I am totally unable to feel it for another person (my ex is the proof XD). Anyway I believe that the sole, endless love is the one between a mother and her child! ;_;<3 9. How do you handle stress? Mh… listen to some kind of music, mostly. 10. What would your ideal world be like? An ideal world would be like the one everyone has in his mind. Anyway, a world that allows children to be themselves and helps them to bloom would be a very good world. Extra Questions: 1.) What’s one story that you want to write/create but won’t (or haven’t yet)? Uuuuuuh… well: I started to write a story about a young student of Psychology in Boston, Kate, who is the only eyewitness of a little girl’s murder few days before Christmas. After that moment, few years later, she joins detective Alexander Graham’s Division as the departmental psychologist in order to find “the Magician”, the mysterious murderer of the little girl, when she finds out that he was also the killer of Alexander’s little daughter, Lily. Also, Kate discovers that her superior is not exactly a good person (actually not that he does too much for hiding his dark temper XD), but when he was a college student, he was the leader of a secret élite, the Dark Circus (just like other members of their team... I picture him like Vincent Phantomhive, Kougami Shinya and our beautiful Italian Leo Cagliostro) and the past involving both is more entwined that they could even suspect. Well, this is my “Dark Circus”, a story I really would love to write (I wrote some chapters but nothing more) and I have lots of ideas and the finale too, but lack of inspiration and university are not a good thing for a novelist… -__-“ Ah, I also wanted to write some one-shots for my *happily finished* fantasy “Underworld – La Croix du Lac” but same thing as DC.  2.) What’s an interesting moment of self-discovery in your life? My first job assignation (as a secondary school professor) and my teacher-training in Primary Education: I found out that I am really good as a teacher! 3.) Dream job? Cat-sitting! *_______________* And being mom! <3 Unfortunately, since I can’t find the raw material, I believe it won’t be easy for me to become a mother, one day… ;_; 4.) What’s a book/movie/show that has had a large influence on you? I do not know, actually… I can say that Kushiel’s Legacy has a large influence on my writing style, perhaps. But also, it depends on moments. 5.) Has music ever changed your life, or at least your outlook on life? I will never stop thanking and blessing Marconi Union for their Weightless! 6.) Imagine you’ve become an established author/artist/creator. What would you want the fandom for your works to be like? “Discussing written works and theorizing about it/analyzing it, maybe creating fanfics that would work within canon. Creating fan art that is true to canon. Commissioning artwork or crafts from me”. @abybweisse I made copy/paste here because this is my exact opinion too! 7.) Same scenario as #6. What would the fandom actually be like? I experienced this on EFP with my “Underworld”. I noticed that my “fandom” was really curious and prone to theorize things (I still giggling at them thinking that Aurore’s father was an angel or something similar, Shemar being Sebastian’s relative, Liger being Evan… ok, this one was right! XD Aaaaah and I loved when they showed lots of empathy toward Celia and her backstory ç_ç). 8.) What’s a subject that you think should be taught in schools but typically isn’t taught at all? Guys, we are talking about Italian school here. As a teacher, I can say that in Italy there is a general lack of attention towards social studies. We try to study some arguments by transversal subjects, but in the end, what do we know about others, really? 9.) What’s a subject that you think should be taught differently in schools from how it usually is? Math (but also several subjects, especially in the secondary school). But the way Math is taught is terrible. No wonder that Italian students are among the worst in Europe. 10.) Are there any patterns in your interests/works that wouldn’t be immediately obvious to an outside observer? I love complex things. Perhaps this is because I am a very complicated person myself. But I believe that nothing is like it appears, that is why in my works I always hide things, details, hints that one day will help things to be clear (like many authors do, after all). When I wrote Underworld, I made several references to the fact that Liger, the main “enemy” of the story, was in fact Evan, Aurore’s adopted brother, like him playing with a Rubik cube, symbolizing his “triple identity”: Evan Kensington/Liger/Evandrus Delacroix or Aurore recalling that Evan’s favorite animals were the tiger and the lion and him claiming that it existed a hybrid called “liger”) but I noticed that my readers were too much in Aurore’s shoes that they could not noticed them at all (technically this is not a bad thing, since the surprise was shocking for Aurore and for them too XD). Only one reader suspected that Evan was Liger and the last living Delacroix (he made a fun parallel with Batman/Bruce Wayne’s story) after reading Celia’s backstory aaaaand… I know that I am going off at a tangent… XD Well, tagging time... whoever wants to do it! :) Fee free to do it!! :) I choose to not tag because I noticed that sometimes people are not interested, so I don’t want to bother... >_<