#a very angry little guy
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Drawing Jon for what he is
#jonathan sims#the magnus archives#tma podcast#tma fanart#he's just a little guy#a very angry little guy#acespec#my art
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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older designs for my specialest guy
#you actually could pay me to watch boruto the payment is reviving any of madara-obito-itachi in a cheap fan service moment. itd work on me 👍#neji hyuga#hyuga neji#art#fanart#naruto#2024#i think konoha would love to project the will of fire shit onto neji after what he did. ya know. trying to give your life 'for the village'#in that way hed probs have a lot of respect from others but respect has never been enough when your life still isnt yours 😛#the pessimism would likely take a bit to return to him but it Would return hes just like. less interpersonally volatile#the realization you had two whole very public meltdowns and no one that matters cared will do that to you#anywayfor the happy ending one. i think while neji is always going to be a little bit bitchy hes bound to soften up a lot when he's not#under constant stress and has to micromanage his every thought#i like to think that if he were allowed to hed grow into a very outwardly warm person. sunflower :)#and my general opinions of neji and boruto are:#1. yes it is a blessing to not be made to be straight married#2. however consider: what if i wanted to see neji be a dad. i dont care for romantic njten but i do not hate it. it would be acceptable#when i think abt this guy in boruto hes chronically single but still.talking about what CANON could be. it would be acceptable#3. yes hiashi shouldve gotten his ass killed in the war but i would be lying if i said the awful family reunions#are not fun as a concept#are they fun on purpose? no#but the rule is: A situation can suck if it sucks on purpose#and 4. i know about the time travel episode i have mixed feelings on it.#anyway no hate if you like boruto i like being hyperbolic for fun but its just anime. the kids seem cute#but if any other hyuga-brained person ever wants to get unimaginably angry you should also watch the hiashi birthday episode of boruto#thats my special recommendation from me to you
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Wind is not ok
Idk how to pinpoint it. It's something about how since Dawn part four, almost 45 percent of the sentences he's said have ended in questions marks or been directly theorising. How the Link who figured out the most about the timeline with ease hasn't spoken much outside of theorising about the monsters, the postman, the shadow. How he whipped his blade out the fastest and went for the fairy.
It's something to do with how the most expressive Link had tears standing in his eyes when Twilight was ill but never once let them fall. It's something to do with how the most energetic hasn't been the center of attention but has been on the sidelines for quite a few updates. How he told Hyrule it's about being ready for the variety and has seemingly been ready ever since.
It's something with how for the past ten updates (we're at entrance pt 3 now), he has only smiled on ten out of ninety pages. How an extremely reliable Kid appears the most ready outside of Sky to rip the shadows throat out, after being pushed by him in battle like he was nothing. How angry he looks when talking about the shadow.
It's something about how he yelled in Legend's face that they had to help, questioning if Twilight was corrupted or possessed. Something about how this kid sincerely asked his brother if he was feeling evil and hasn't stop asking questions since.
#linked universe#linkeduniverse#Lu wind#invisibly tagging:#blarefordaglare#HEY HEY GUYS I DID MATH#if you want exact statistics#43.90% of his sentences have ended in question marks or been directly trying to figure stuff out#literally go read it he's just been asking so. many. questions.#in ninety pages he's only spoken 41 sentences#that's not a lot for him#goddamn little dude#he's so not ok#he looked so so very angry at the shadow in Dawn part eight#look at me#citing my sources#I feel like we moved on from wind asking twilight if he was evil too soon#I have no idea if this made sense but I hope it does!
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some misc emotion emotes
excited
excited v 2
angry tears
angry tears hiding mouth with sleeve
pout v 1
pout v 2
pout with tears
#k9emotes#emoji blog#custom emote#custom emoji#discord emoji#emoji#aac emojis#emotes#emoji requests#expressions#angry#pouty lips#pouty face#crying#tears#age regressor#silly little guy#very excited#brain go brrrr
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Look what came through the mail today! The letters & ( •̀ω•́ )σ 3 little gremlins from letterstoear.
Just wanna say i adore the flower stickers on the letters too much, they are that much worth mentioning.
#letterstoear#nui#twst#twisted wonderland#sebek zigvolt#malleus draconia#twst grim#mod posting#okay but i love squishing the bears with my thumb; they just have the right thickness to be pressed on#i really like the flower stickers; they look like romantically artistic wax seal#the letters are pleasantly nice#i love the part where cheka personally request for an audience with yuu thru sebek 🥺🥺🥹🥹 too cute hnggh .......#sebek becoming our little mailman for our little invitation aw 🥹 for those who wanna know the context of the letter;#i requested a letter from sebek that he sent home while he was away accompanying malleus on other country duty#my other favorite part is just him simply opening the letter with 'My love'#i'm sealed 🥹 the first paragraph is written so sweetly#i enjoy reading the letter slowly outside in peaceful afternoon today; i ran it through together with sebek nui#this will be my treasured keepsake from now on 🥹; it seriously made me miss letters and wish i have someone to send this kind of letter to#it was a bit funny how the envelope sebek's letter came from is sticked with the guys from free! sticker fhsdsh 🤣😂#and me with the white haired guy like WHo are u?? fsjdsdjsd (´つヮ⊂); but it's a really nice service#the thank you letter came with such a cute and yummy folding paper; thank you for the stickers too#i feel like there's a bit whoopsie on grim's winky eye fshfh like i think the sharpie just blurs the separating space '<' supposed to have#and just combine it all together into one angry eye; and sebek bear's eyes are just a little bigger than i expected it to be#but the more i look at them i think they are just having a little individuality & still cute#i embraced it all together while knowing the fact none of handmade thing would always be the same one with the other; hehe sebek nui has fr#i kinda forget that there's this kind of clip earring fshd; because i always get the ones that work like screw from aliexpress#i know that the literal clip one would just be literal meaning of pain fsh; just like the magnet one my father once got me when i was a kid#it was painful but pretty; tho i lost it quickly bcs magnet easily get loosed once one part of it moves around when u touch ur hair or face#anyhow i had a pleasant day because of this; thank you very much ! sebek nui said 'thank you' too! ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚. ❀ ✿ 𖤣…
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i haven't read anything in 3 months. there are like 5 books i should be reading for uni. at least 10 things i said i'd draw first. my headphones refuse to work. my graphic tablet pen seems like it's going to die any second. i can't go to bed at humane hours. i think i ended up a little frustrated and with this guy all over my canvas??
oh and happy ace week. that's so swag.
#im so angry my pen's been acting up. little guy is agains me i have not been able to draw:(( /also cause i have more important thinkgs to do#but yk i dont seem to do them either#this time i was able to finish something?? uuuhhhh excuse the ramble im so tired rn. idk whats wrong with my pen#i like spade earring jon. he came out nice#and i do realize the talking one looks kinda like shaggy but shut up i love green shirts so jon get one too#my art#mine#jonathan sims#tma#the magnus archives#ace people have so much swag rn. very beautiful. very powerful. look at us#these are doodles that were never meant to be finished let alone posted. uughhstgjh hhhs guggf#why r u still here. why r u reading my stupid tags go away#digital art#fanart#<= ok thats all. im going away too
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watched mouthwashing finally. the fact that i saw people be more aggressive towards curly than jimmy is kinda strange. kinda real weird
#mouthwashing#captain curly#jimmy mouthwashing#i saw people draw fanart of anya. pouring mouthwash on his exposed flesh? as punishment for failing her?#which okay. 1. i dont think shed like that. 2. are we seriously blaming curly for this more than. jimmy. the guy who DID IT?#like okay do not get me wrong. curly is to blame. he made terrible mistakes he did horrible things his inaction is inexcusable#he should have handled the situation better. if he couldnt 'take care' of jimmy (likely) he should have just at least#been there for anya. supported her and comforted her more than he did#im not saying any of it is untrue#hell the aus i saw where anya is angry with curly? where post-recovery shes genuinely mad and to a degree disgusted with him?#great! real! very reasonable! it makes sense it works its everything#but like. some of the people i saw were being straight up vile. for zero reason#'yeah curly deserves to be tortured and like skinned more by anya for closure because of what he did' HAVE WE FORGOTTEN WHO DID IT#WHY IS JIMMY GETTING LEFT OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION. ARE WE FORGETTING WHOS THE LITERAL ASSAULTER?#one of those people also said that if you ship anya and curly you should kys so uhhh not really taking that opinion seriously but. jeez#i dont ship them either for the record i just think telling people to die over it is a little excessive. thats the whole thing really#theyre being really excessive#on a similiar note i saw people say 'nobody on the ship is black and white in morality' and i agree with that about everyone BUT jimmy#for one simple reason. there is never ever a reason to rape someone. not EVER. everyone else has reasons. is complicated#and while jimmy is complicated too obviously that doesnt. like undeniably hes the worst. he is the worst because what he did is just#one of the only crimes that never ever has an explaination that means anything. its always evil
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Was tagged by @humanaaa to make a list of 13 songs I've been listening to lately!!
Haven't listened to many different songs lately (currently my main playlist is a Disorganized Hell), but these are the ones that I've been listening to the most:
Deep Cover - Milgram
Chimera - Deco27 (MegaTeraZero Cover)
Bug - KairikiBear (Chogakusei Cover)
Zombies - Deco*27 (Giga Remix, Chogakusei Cover)
This Is How To Be In Love With You - Milgram
Overdose - natori
Turing Love - NanawoAkari & Sou
Dramaturgy - Eve
PLATONIC GIRL - MikitoP (Amatsuki & luz Cover)
Double - Milgram
Say It - Yorushika
Aesthetic Sense - wanuka
Conveying Love Or Something Like That - aimyon
(Of course Deep Cover would get first place JKSKDBKSDF!! Been hearing it non-stop since it released. Like, go seigi girl!! Banger!!)
Besides that I've been hearing mostly songs from Milgram, Deco*27 (he can't stop releasing banger after banger❗❗), and some other vocaloid producer songs. Tho I usually prefer to listen to human covers (sorry Hatsune Miku i hope you can forgive me 🙏)
I'll tag @tokyogruel @good-beans @cubelogic @nilovalentine @mukuberry and @rainbowghostcat!! As always, no pressure tags, and anyone else can join :3
#14. skibidi toilet theme song#thanks for the tag :3#i HAVE to organize my playlist this summer vacation#it's in a state of COMPLETE DISARRAY like SOMEONE HELP ME ORGANIZE THIS MESS SKFBVKSBVKSV#i'm free from spotify but i sometimes feel like sisyphus trying to organize it 💀💀💀#how do you guys organize your playlists. by vibes?? by artists?? by blorbos??#thinking of organizing it into vibes?? like happy-sad-calm-angry-love?? is that a good idea??#anyways i tried very very hard to put as little milgram as possible. tho it still filled like 25% of the list. exposed as a m*lgram fan 😔#off: BRASILEIROS ME RECOMENDEM ARTISTAS NACIONAISSSS PFF EU PRECISO OUVIR MAIS MÚSICAS BRASILEIRAS#qrevo.txt
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the doctor is emotionally manipulative. he’s very good at it, and even better at justifying it both to himself and the people he’s doing it to. he can see when his approval, his affection, is valuable enough to someone that withholding it will be an effective way of getting them to do what he wants. this is one of his best flaws, that he’ll do this to people and do it to them for his own definition of what’s good for them.
(gestures vaguely) twissy.
#I LIKE THIS ABOUT HIM. I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO KEEP SAYING THAT. I like this. its a very good flaw. its very consistent.#its there in all iterations of him (that i’ve seen)#in early episodes with rose he’ll get angry and emotionally withdrawn when she pokes at his trauma. and he knows that it’ll work because in#her own words: don’t argue with the designated driver.#he does it to jack like. a lot in utopia. his judgment only has so much sway over jack because jack is Obsessed with him and he knows that.#jack unsettles him. he uses that control to feel less unsettled. especially when he can’t do it to the actual threat of that finale: the#master. (though. he tries. that’s what the whole ‘i forgive you’ thing is about.)#eleven is practically Made of this impulse. he does it to amy. he does it to river. he does it to rory to a much lesser extent but that’s#because rory has. a vague idea? of how to have healthy boundaries. if not with amy then at least with the doctor.#that’s why his speech about people wanting to impress the doctor making him dangerous is so important. rory can See what he’s doing.#and twelve. obviously. does this to clara. clara also does it right back. this is why they are made for each other alsjjfgjakdj.#and. he does it to missy. because. and i cannot emphasize this enough. he keeps her. in a box.#I ENJOY THIS ABOUT HIM. HE’S A FUCKED UP LITTLE GUY!!!! WITH ISSUES ABOUT HOW HE REALLY REALLY WANTS TO IMPOSE HIS OWN MORALITY ONTO PEOPLE#HE KNOWS HE SHOULDNT BUT HE ALSO GETS FRUSTRATED AND HE DOES IT ANYWAY!!!!#and sometimes it’s unintentional. sure. sometimes it *really really* isn’t though. like.#and sometimes it’s both. sometimes it’s the result of him lashing out and reaching for a familiar coping mechanism in the moment.#but the point is the doctor does this.#doctor who
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Went to let the birds out and found this furious little (baby) lad in one of the trenches, exhausted from trying to get out of the coop he so bravely wiggled his way into. I fetched him out and let him go outside the pen. Hopefully he won't be trying that again.
#longfeather Lane#his brother or dad was sitting on top#yelling at me the entire time#very angry i had this guy#but maybe don't squeeze your little ass through the netting you turds!!#there's no food in that pen!!#none you can see anyway#usually it's the little juncos that get in#but they get right back out again#i was surprised to find a whole ass cardinal#please I'm begging you there's wild food all over for you#i cultivate my wilds for Cardinals you should have no problems#birds#Cardinals#just holding my finger and screaming away#sir please#my birds have killed birds bigger than you#and you were on the ground#i could not handle my favorite songbird being murdered#you must do better from now on
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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Realized I forgot to introduce Eileen again LMAO
My sea shanty interest was reignited and I was like “:O Boston is a coastal town I can make a sailor oc!!” And promptly remembered Far Harbour exists and so now she is there :)
She left the mainland after nearly destroying the entire commonwealth for her kiddo Eliza. Blew up the Prydwen, Railroad, nearly collapsed the Minutemen, and eventually destroyed the Institute when they created a synth version of her husband and she realized just how much they were manipulating her. She left Eliza with Nick and fucked off North, a good fifty miles past the Nakano residence, where she fixes up an old boat and fishes the days away in solitude. Nick eventually finds her a year or two later and needs her boat to head to far harbour to find Kasumi Nakano, and they get stranded there together cuz a sea monster basically ate her boat :)
Anyway she’s also from Newfoundland and Labrador, got military training from soldiers she helped guide through the Northwest Passage, and commonly goes by “The Lobstermonger” in Far Harbour due to her hiding her identity out of shame for all she’s done. I <3 her I’m sorry
#she was in a compulsively heterosexual marriage and it’s ONLY the fact that she wasn’t actually in love with her husband that made her#reject the synth copy. she would have gone along with it to the end if she didn’t lowkey hate the guy#he wasn’t bad or anything she just wasn’t happy. she only married him because she got pregnant#she also has lowkey complicated feelings about her daughter too and Kinda resents her a little. she hates that her life was hijacked#loves her daughter of course but lots of it is out of obligation. she guns for Eliza so hard also because she lowkey despises the rest of#the commonwealth and thinks they deserve it but that’s another post#she’s not evil or anything she’s just very very angry about it all#anyway I <3 her#fallout 4#far harbour#far harbour dlc#fallout#fanart#fallout fanart#fallout 4 fanart#far harbour fanart#mirelurk#original character#oc#oc intro#fallout oc#fisherman#lobstermonger#digital art#serenade draws#Eileen waters#lesbian#gay character#wlw
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G'raha looked so serious while he pleaded his case to venture into the World of Darkness with the Warrior of Light. The sudden conviction in his tone had Arsay at a loss for words. Still, she did not hesitate to meet his request with an accepting nod. He was an important friend and in the passing moons that they'd come to know each other, a strong fondness for him had taken hold of her. The prospect of helping G'raha find the truth behind his mysterious inheritance made Arsay's heart pound. It was the perfect venture for them to embark on. The first of many, she hoped. The two turned towards the impossibly tall spire that dared to pierce the heavens above. Arsay's resolve strengthened in its presence. When they next find themselves gazing at the tower -with their quest completed and the world no longer under threat of total destruction- she'll properly ask G'raha to be a companion in her travels. A grin crept its way onto her face as her gaze shifted to him. If Arsay could find it within herself to bare her heart to others so readily just as he does… perhaps their future adventures will find them together, hand in hand.
#ffxiv#wolgraha#G'raha tia#graharsay#idk just a random passage in my head that I needed to get out#im not a writer and im not pretending to be one but it was in my brain so sorry if its not as readable as I think it is#anyways imagine you are the loneliest catgirl in the world#and you meet a guy who is so swagless and cringe but in a charming way and he connects with you on a fundamental level#and you become really good friends and every time you show up he smiles in a way that makes your heart do somersaults#and you start thinking that maybe people actually like having you around not just when they need you to kill and destroy things#you let yourself open up a little and you're met with kindness and you realize you are very in love actually#but because you're still figuring out how to talk about your feelings you wait a little too long#and that guy seals himself up in a tower and tells you he'll think about your heroism in the future#and you are very sad and angry about this but thats not allowed so instead you put that energy to being the hero of all time#and every day you go to work you see the structure that reminds you of him and you cant let go of those what if feelings n ur cursed 5ever#would that be fucked up or what#WOL posting#Arsay Nun
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It is worth noting that I get a lot of anon hate, mostly insults and vague threats, but that's just the thing — I get anon hate.
By which I mean, no one gets anons about me. There's no call out post circulating about me.
There's nothing to say that I'm not very open about. Everyone who follows me and is friends with me is very much aware of what I write about and what kind of dynamics that I enjoy in fiction.
Anons don't tell other people that I'm a horrible person, they tell me that I'm a horrible person.
Because they know that I'm not. They just want me to hate myself.
#anon hate#proship#if there was something substantial ''against me'' then I KNOW these losers would be all over it#but there isn't so they can't#they just want me to hate myself as much as they hate me#which is kinda 👀👀#some of these people sending anon hate absolutely have gay little crushes on me and it's so embarrassing#angry that I make them feel things they don't want to be feeling tbh 💅#no but fr like? I'm literally Just Some Fucking Guy#not everyone you don't like is secretly evil#most of us live very normal lives#i post fanfic and I do my taxes and I have a 9 to 5 like??#I don't secretly kick puppies for fun or something#it is so weird to me that strangers online are OBSESSED with somehow manifesting a reality where I'm a shitty awful person#just so that they feel vindicated#it's very selfish and parasocial
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Hi! I love your analysis on the characters because you always seem nice and open minded and not the kind of "I'm right, you are wrong", that's why I wanted to hear your opinion on this topic!
I've read that one of the most important character trait of Lan Wangji is being a sadistic, and instantly I was like "what but he's not AT ALL like that". I thought that person could be an anti but actually they wanted to praise the character. I have still thousand doubts because maybe it's me who totally read the character wrong after all this time, and because I've never read such opinion on the character, neither from the novel fandom nor from the drama or donghua fandom.
What do you think about it? :)
hi anon!! thank you 💓💕❤️ i'm glad you like them!!! (and i'm glad i come across that way, even though i have certainly slipped and said some things like that hahaha)
so my first reaction was "HUH?????" but i think i understand what that person must be talking about! and while i can't say that find his sadism "one of his most important character traits", it IS something that i think it's very endearing about Lan Wangji!!
(long post under the cut lmao)
so before we elaborate, lemme specify that in this case, i am specifically talking about the sexual, BDSM meaning for sadism. here, a sadist is someone who finds sexual pleasure in inflicting pain on their partner during sex, on the same vein that a masochist is someone who enjoys being inflicted pain on during sex.
most importantly however, this pleasure tends to be exclusive to the mindset one has during a sexual situation, and does not translate to regular everyday life, so if that person was saying that Lan Wangji is a sadist who obtains pleasure from hurting ANYONE or ANYTHING, at ANY MOMENT, then i absolutely disagree with it
okay, so... why do so many people LOVE that LWJ is a sadist? well, obviously i can't speak for everyone, but for me, i love it because of how well done it was. sadism IS an integral part of Lan Wangji character, and he KNOWS it, and for most of his life? it scared him
imagine it with me for a second: you are a 15 year old teenager, who's lived his whole life following very strict rules with a very strict view of how one should behave. you never once indulged in "common teenager behavior", you never felt the need to. then, out of nowhere, a gremlin boy comes into your life as the very embodiment of those behaviors—drinking, flirting, breaking rules, causing trouble, saying ridiculous things in class, reading... forbidden material,
that boy thinks you're a stick-in-the-mud. that boy wants you to loosen up a little. that boy tricks you into opening one of those forbidden books, and laughs at the face you make about it, then runs away happily. your blood boils, your face is red, you've never felt so hot and so frustrated in your life. you want to teach him a lesson
however, next day comes and that boy and his shidi join you on a nighthunt, and you come to the realization that he's actually... not as terrible as you first thought? he's a troublemaker, sure, but he's also incredibly competent, intelligent and even selfless if the situation calls for it. that... also stirs something in you.
then, that boy comes bearing "an apology gift", two cute, white little rabbits he caught himself, just for you. you know, deep inside, he's just doing this to get a reaction out of you. that's all he ever does. so when he makes an inappropriate joke and you (before you can even stop yourself) push him out the window, hearing him laugh joyfully even after he hit the floor, you feel that stiring again, that hot frustration, and at this point... you start suspecting something. something about what this feeling is
the thing is, for as much as you want to, you don't hate that boy. you hate how he makes you feel, but you don't hate him. in fact, you start suspecting quite the opposite. but you ignore it, and you push it aside, even as you catch yourself thinking about him, and doing the things he told you about—he's always in your mind... and you don't hate it. even when you catch yourself looking for forbidden material yourself, a type that not even that boy showed to you, a type that you can relate to, maybe even fantasize with
so, imagine now, that is how your very young life is going. then, one night... you have a dream, one very different. it starts out as a memory, but early on, it changes. in that dream, that boy teases you just a bit more cruelly, says some things with stranger implications, he pushes, and pushes you, and pushes you, and you break.
in that dream, you hurt him
and not just any kind of hurt. you do something unspeakable. the most immoral of acts a human can do. you hurt him as he cries and begs you to stop. you don't
and the worst part? you enjoy it
you were so certain, up until that point, that you were a good person. that you'd never want to hurt anyone, especially like this. so why does that dream make you feel that way? what does it mean?! that boy angers and frustrates you, sure, but you never ever wanted to hurt him. so you convince yourself that it was how your young, hormonal brain processes this anger, and tries to move on
and you don't think about why, by the end, you were holding each other close. why, by the end, you'd wanted him to enjoy it as well
KDFKSHC OKAY SORRY this ended up longer than i'd planned, but this? this is a VERY very common experience for teenagers who happen to have this type of sexual inclination to have. your mind is so young and you don't know much about sex at all, but your brain and your body betray you, and you feel drawn towards fantasies that by all means should disgust you. and it scares you, it scares you because if i enjoy these thoughs, then what does that make me?? so, much like lan wangji, those feelings get repressed and turned into something shameful for themselves
AND HERE IS WHERE WEI WUXIAN COMES IN!!! because that dream lan wangji had? it gets exposed in full sound and color to the very person it was about. now, up until that point, wangxian had already been exploring their sexuality together, and after their little fucking in the woods where lwj kept trying and trying to hold back as to not hurt him, apologizing and feeling frustrated that he can't (and who could, in his place?) wwx's reaction was to continuously rile him up more and more, because he DOESN'T want lan zhan to hold back!! no restraints, right? he wants all lan zhan has to offer!!! he wants lan zhan in all he can be!! he wants it, he enjoys it, even if it hurts!!
(how lucky, that this repressed little sadist found love in someone who turned out to be a repressed little masochist LMAO)
what is endearing about that incense burner extra is that lan wangji is visibly nervous and embarrassed about this dream, even now, even after him and wwx got married and have had sex many times. this is STILL something that lwj is ashamed about. and wei wuxian's response? to be as open as possible, to reassure him that he finds it SO hot, that he loves it, that he wants him to fuck him like that RIGHT NOW!! that there's nothing to be ashamed about cause guess what? wei wuxian is SO into it too, he's egging on little 15yo lan zhan on his actions against his own younger self!! and lan wangji finally lets it go!!! he accepts this part if himself, because now he knows it doesn't mean anything bad, it doesn't mean he's a horrible person who wants to see wei ying hurt and crying (he has, already, back when everything was falling apart), because he only wants it when he knows that wei ying wants it too. he only wants it if it's a way for wei ying to also enjoy himself
soo yeah, this is what i think that person meant when they said lan wangji was a sadist. he is!! actually, for as much as i love what the incense burner means to them, i personally don't even like reading it because of how violent it can be, and i cannot blame anyone for not being able to read it, but it IS very important to his character, and such a compelling look into his mind!
but you can also imagine how much it would have scared little lan zhan, and how validating it must have been years later, to finally know that hey, it's just a dream, and me? your husband who loves having rough mean sex with you? finds that EXTREMELY hot and it only makes me love you more ❤️💞💕
#lwj's reaction to the blindfolded kiss only enforces this imo. he's SO ANGRY and SO SCARED#because it feels so close to what that dream was ''telling'' him he was capable of#anyways... SORRY THIS ENDED UP RIDICULOUSLY LONG. i just very much do love this part of lwj#he's just a little guy fr#modao#lace speaks#me: i don't think his sadism is one of his most important character traits#me by the end: .....OR MAYBE I DO??
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