#a topic for another day
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Im laying my bets now. the entire idea that autism (and adhd) is more common in men and boys is pure myth created by poor science, backwards statistics and faulty parameters of the condition itself. in another 50 years we will understand it was never a gendered condition. just a highly gendered and biased measurement system. i'm absurdly confident on that
the rates of autism in girls is "rising" exponentially. it is rising even more exponentially in girls than in boys. not because girls are becoming more autistic. but because the "science" is just getting better at measuring and accurately acknowledging autism in girls.
autism often does present differently in girls, due to how girls are raised or personality differences. the literature and criteria was based on boy sample groups. the entire research data was done on white men as if that is a standard default person and control group.
not only that, doctors and teachers and parents literally were not looking for it in girls under the false widely propagated belief it was rare in women in girls. it is a self fulfilling prophecy. that's not science.
we will soon have to reckon with the lost generations of autistic girls and women and children assigned female at birth* who never got diagnosis and early intervention. we should be forcing the world to reckon with it right now. a great deal of autistic millennial women are brilliant minds who dropped out of STEM and the workforce due to their untreated and misidentified disability overtaking their life. the impact of never Knowing you or your child is autistic or adhd is difficult to comprehend for autistic and adhd people who did get diagnosed as children. even when the awareness and interventions were unhelpful or harmful. the harm of not knowing means the child trying even harder to become neurotypical and a level of autistic burnout few others on the spectrum can comprehend, often taking place after the woman is a legal adult, and there are no legal protections in place for this disabled person.
the unmitigated stress of being developmentally delayed and never knowing it, simply hating and blaming yourself and fighting day in and out past your limits to become neurotypical, limits your don't know you should have because you have never been so much as briefed on what adhd or autism can feel like. you don't know the distres and tiredness you're feeling is "dysregulation". this is why we see women in nervous breakdowns. psychiatric wards. treatment resistant depression. electric shock therapy. hard drug addiction. cutting. homelessness. personality disorders. dissociation. psychosis. early death by accident or suicide. (obviously people who are not autistic or adhd have these illnesses but my point is untold and disproportionate numbers of them are undiagnosed neurodivergent with unprocessed trauma. i'm telling you. more than you think).
it's why we see young people on tiktok not faking DID per say, but describing a dissociated experiences and fractured sense of self and escapist alternate personalities, a mental illness that has much less in common with traditional DID, but has much in common with struggling and under-treated autistic people. DID is a very rare condition. autism is very common. autism can create out of body experiences and self protective blurring of reality and fantasy so extreme, no person can be expected to understand it is autism if they never been advised about their own disability and the knowledge that should he available to them. it's no wonder we have people with mislabeled rare disorders like DID who are clearly very sick but instead of showing real DID signs, are sick with all the signs of severe unassisted autism they have been completely barred from understanding or coping with in any other way. for those lucky enough, we see unemployed young women with severe chronic pain in their 20s and 30s who look and feel like they're elderly and gave up their dreams when they hit 21 or 25 and their brains stopped working and their bodies shut down. now they mostly scroll tumblr and tiktok and try to remember to open the blinds. they have a roof but people scorn them for entitled laziness and worst of all derided for "self diagnosing".
again i'm asking why CFS chronic fatigue syndrome is so responsive to adderall. i'm asking why professionals are reluctant to test women for adhd if she does well in school because she is very bookish and why experts in the field are openly amused and doubtful to test a woman for autism if she has a long term boyfriend. why is ability to mask or function a disqualification. why is inability to function in women, who later turn out to be autistic or adhd, so aggressively mischaracterized as BPD, bipolar, depression, OCD, schizophrenia. why is autism and adhd clinically diagnosed and defined by distress and dysfunction and not by intrinsic traits and qualities that present while still functional for preventative care. why are all people, men and women forced to wait until their lives and minds are deteriorating and they have experienced some irreversible disasters and pain before they can be diagnosed. why must girls and boys wait until their daily life as children have become unbearable hell for them before their disability can be treated and acknowledged. and if these policies are changing now, why are doctors and psychiatrists not eagerly and urgently reaching out to find the vulnerable adults they missed during more archaic screening methods. we aren't rising in adhd diagnosis because of tiktok you assholes. adult onset adhd and autism don't exist. those people were always adhd. adult onset skill regression and increase in severity due to stress DOES happen in adulthood. modern day stresses like loss of structure during the pandemic and social media is advancing to become more attention span draining. everyone is feeling the effects but these are causing adhd and autistic people to cope less and mask less effectively so they are running into significant problems, their loved ones are noticing, they are getting referrals and suddenly forced to google their rapidly worsening mental issues for the first time and seeing they line up with a known neurological condition . this is obvious. doctors blaming it on some sort of trend are being willfully clueless
*because autism especially is screened identified diagnosed and first intervened ages 2-5, before a child has an internal concept of self or gender and above all before they can express their gender, diagnostic practices and criteria are based on how adults perceive a child via birth assignments. and the studies are overwhelmingly beholden to data only on children assigned male at birth, rarely accounting for their actual future gender either. as part of the warped science insisting that autism is as if somehow linked to the y chromosome and not a universally likely human quality, you see amab kids laser focused on as candidates and afab kids fucked over most of all. all children assigned female have the worst chances of their developmental disability being identified and acknowledged in a timely manner and disproportionately experience late diagnosis in later adolescence or adulthood. tho i wouldn't be surprised if trans womens rates of accurate diagnosis is lower than cis men. as trans girls may present autism differently and characteristic of girls autism, even while still in the closet or before she knows she is trans. regardless adults are very vigilant for signs of autism, even atypical ones, in any child they perceive as a boy. so any millennial or gen z child identified female at birth had significantly worse chance at receiving autistic support compared to peers
in particular women assigned male at birth might have a better chance at being identified for types of autism that are often labeled "high functioning", involves high masking, and often receives few services. these more invisible types of autism often need to be diagnosed before age 5 in order to qualify under the criteria at all. and so in the days where autism was believed to be 20x more common in the genetics of xy children, any chance of being considered and diagnosed would come down to almost purely birth assignment dependent. with the less outwardly visible types of autism, a person who misses this window will remain autistic all their life but once they learn a certain level of skills and masking, no matter how late they learn these, the person will no longer qualify for diagnosis, either not until they have a nervous breakdown or possibly not ever qualify. it's this type of more hidden autism we see struggling across the board as undiagnosed adults including both trans and cis women especially, tho we are seeing it disproportionately even more so in undiagnosed afabs of any gender. who are dropping out of schooling and work and succumbing to severe mental illnesses during what should be the prime of their lives. overall tho birth assignment is not everything this is an issue that disproportionately impacts cis women. trans women. trans men. non-binary people. likely doubling for those that are afab. and then tripling and quadrupling for children who are not white.
bit of an understatement in that last part there. gender likely isn't even the biggest barrier to proper diagnosis and treatment. probably race is even more so. but since gender is such a big disparity in itself across race and one i relate to and can speak on from experience ive focused on it here. a more in-depth look is needed on the neglect of adhd and autistic children of color especially black native and latino kids. but for now do keep in mind the points i'm making increase exponentially for kids who aren't white across all genders including cis boys
#this is dramatic and long but it's a dramatic situation that is completely slept on in the public eye#it's not just about me this is about people who had it so much worse. tho my insider experience obviously brought it to my attention#i'm pretty sure i'm not autistic im adhd but the reality of adhd is a lot more like autism than we are acknowledging#a topic for another day#autism in women#adhd in women#atypical autism#adhd inattentive#undiagnosed autistic#undiagnosed neurodivergent#undiagnosed autism#undiagnosed adhd
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💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖
For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!
The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^
What's been added to the 3.5 version?
📺 Streamer Mode!
I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.
Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh
This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!
⚙️ Custom Pronouns!
It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;
Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!
💗 Choose how others perceive you!
You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.
For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!
📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!
You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3
Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!
I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;
I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao
📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!
You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!
Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!
I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;
It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)
🖤 Additional Scenes Update!
Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!
If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.
After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga
🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!
I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!
I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.
Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.
How to download and play the update?
(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!
Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)
Enjoy!!
#14 days with you#14dwy#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — updates.#🖤 — spoilers.#I'm not gonna say much about my current doxxing situation because I've got it under control now + it's being handled privately#Plus I don't wanna give it/the people involved any unnecessary attention. I just wanna announce the update and Get Back To It™️#(''it'' bein the grind 💪 It never stops lmao /silly)#OG followers will also know that these topics aren't the vibe I normally have on this blog (or any of my accounts); so I don't think I'll—#—make ANOTHER public post about the situation and bring more attention to it (when I just want everything to be over and put to rest ^^;)#However I also don't want people to think that I'm... ignoring?? the situation entirely (because gettin doxxed is a very endangering thing)#So I DO want to quickly acknowledge it here and say that it's all currently handled + I'm safe and okay + this won't stop me from—#—continuing to work on 14DWY (and other future projects). I also don't want to give these awful people more power and incentive to continue#—this kind of pathetic behaviour; so the less attention and encouragement being shown will ultimately be better in the long run :3#Aaaaaanways!! 😮💨#My other accounts will be restored shortly and my askbox will be opened once I feel comfortable. I'll get around to following folks—#—again in my own time; so please don't feel offended if I unfollowed you during a moment of vulnerability and anxiety!!#This is all EXTREMELY overwhelming and scary for someone with SAD/AvPD; and I /gen can't handle seeing it all over my timeline ;v;#Sorry this got ranty and personal again hjdsgjsdh T_T I said I wouldn't say much; so I'll shut up now hehe#🖤 — shut up sai.
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oh I need to read this 😩 (x)
#volume 9 new stuff..#additionally :re vivre cards#the only one I looked forward to was ginny's#raging that we missed her bday just by few days#another pun ofc: ji (10) ni (2) - (1)#they put “I've always loved you kumachi” as her background text 😔#I'm completely off the topic lol#donquixote rosinante#trafalgar law#one piece academy#monkey d. luffy#donquixote doflamingo
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guys be honest is it insane to make a presentation ranking zelda games for a real life college class
#i will be giving this presentation on election day. which i feel like adds to the vibes#art school is so unserious and everyone LITERALLY ALREADY KNOWS IM LIKE THIS but STILL#personal#i have like 4 days to come up with another topic and if i cant then this is what they're getting.#btw the criteria for the presentation is that it needs to be under 15 minutes and somehow tangentially related to art or illustration.#which is INSANELY broad but i feel like if i rank the art direction it works. at least one person has already done a video game presentatio#um. anyways
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As soon as I'm done with commissions (and depression stops being a bitch) I WILL draw more ragapom and make more comics, cuz holy SHIT we need more Sapphics up in this bitch!!!
#panda talks#rambling in the tags#episode 3 please gimmie crumbs#the ragapommers are fucking STARVING#and I dont hate any ship#nor the people who don't ship ragapom#but DEAR GOD#80% of the ships here? straight as an arrow#and THATS NOT BAD#JUST... as a lesbian I'd like a bit more female on female action y'know?#then again f/f ships IN GENERAL are always overshadowed#but thats a topic for another day#text post#digital circus shipping#ragapom shipping#buttonblossom shipping
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Life is too short.
[ my art ] [ twitter ]
(detail + ratio rambling under the cut >_>)
This is one of those "I need a break between my ten other illustrations, let me do a lil sketchy sketch :D" that got too ambitious etc. etc. I never want to see the color red again" moments. BUT!
I really, really like to explore Ratio's viscerality and what's happening between his brain and his nerves, like... all of this thorough control and discipline and he still has to breathe and react to himself and his surroundings, you know? His accomplishments are insane for "his age"* but he's going to run out of "age" at some point! His ambitions are so far reaching that he's not worried about getting doctorate degree Number Nine! Rather, his efforts are pointed outwards, into the universe, for the universe. As you know.
Speaking of his degrees, I had a half thought a while ago that we've seen him with two types of laurel pins.
One is him in his suuuuuper cute mother goose avatar (three leaves) and the other is the hat he's wearing everywhere else (eight leaves).
The thought was, "Aww, what if they're like commemorative pins counting the number of his degrees or whatever :)". Literally only because there's eight in the current one. This is kind of silly because then you'd HAVE to have an obscene number of degrees even for a normal person for your leaf pin to start looking like a laurel in the first place so scratch that BUT it's cute to think that it's still academic regalia. Something something I work in higher ed myself and it's like... it's like that.
The university goldsmith appreciates the job security.
I REMEMBER WHY I BROUGHT THAT UP. FOLLOWING the fantasy where more leaves = more knowledge!, in summary, even though Ratio seems to be a little beyond trying to get a prize every time he learns something now. But he does want to Keep Going. He can only Keep Going.
So I drew him in a bathtub full of an uncountable amount of gold leaves looking at the camera with an indescribable expression born from a hunger that will never be satiated lol DETAIL SHOT!
*Referenced only vaguely in a comment in the context of astonishment, but it could have easily have been "woah he's accomplished so much for his age (young)" as it could be "woah he looks good for his age (older)". There is no canon age and even then, reconciling standardized system time versus planetary time versus "does his particular breed of lizard human have the same lifespan as tumblr user nhura?" is a losing game for everyone involved! Here's what I think: I think he started going grey in his early twenties, whatever that means in spacefantasygame, and that that's very cute on him.
Do YOU think Ratio would be tempted by immortality???? Or would he MIND HIS BUSINESS
#dr ratio#dr. ratio#hsr fanart#veritas ratio#hsr#my art#SORRY FOR THE INSANE COLOR CHOICE I feel bad posting this in ratio circles because normal ratio art is pleasing on the eye.#blue and gold and white. some ivory. tan sometimes. like fresh air on a brisk day#not piss christ is what i'm saying#in my defense his eyes look like that anyway so this is actually Topical.#I want to talk about Ratio's self image and relationship to his own flesh but that's for another day. unless you ask me niceys#my art: hsr#honkai star rail#holding up a sign that says I LIKE THAT RATIO'S PHYSICAL BODY IS BOTH A CONTINUOUS PROJECT AND LABOR OF PERFECTION WHILST BEARING THE CONSE#THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS EXTRAORDINARY LIFE#PART 3: why does ratio not have an art degree? it's simpler than you think.#okay i'm done BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 4 - Nuthin' but Boothill Edition
[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]
#boothill#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr incorrect quotes#hsr memes#honkai star rail memes#hsr meme#honkai star rail meme#hsr textpost#hsr boothill#boothill hsr#hsr spoilers#hsr 2.2 spoilers#hmmm... don't think it's worth tagging the others in the 9th image. this ain't about them#still unsure abt how to do the alt text for these kinda posts properly but hopefully i'm improving#anyways. don't think i've ever seen heard and typed "cowboy' so many times in one day as i have while making this good lord#i did a bit of digging around and haven't Seen any of these done yet so. here's hoping that's the case!#i'm only ~3/4 of the way through the 2.2 main quest but the need to make these compelled me to put these out Now#i can already tell u that there Will be more of these for Boothill tho bc i'm crazy abt him. probably enough to make another dedicated post#but i'm gonna wait until i'm fully caught up on the plot (and will probably spoil myself for more of his character lore after that as well)#speaking of. i'm gonna go eat mac n' cheese and stay up too late playing through the rest of the main quest#i'm loving it so far. many thoughts head full abt it all but in a good way. hoping for more Boothill moments as we approach the end#he's def not the main character here but he is to Me okay. he is to me. i'm scarfing down every crumb he drops#i'm also suffering from Aventurine withdrawals out here. Argenti mentioning him was Interesting but i need More. Where Is He.#also. was Argenti intentionally not voiced or was it a game issue?? the hell was that. threw me off so hard when i couldn't hear him speak#anyways i'm getting off topic and wasting precious gaming time so i'll be takin' my leave now
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good morning happy election day to all you americans please vote if you haven't already or i'll hunt you down
#anyone who remembers my multiday cnn lockdown four years ago yes i will be doing it again#i'm not gonna spam us politics on here but it will be a topic just fyi#i accepted long ago that if i can't avoid it because it's The Only Thing On Every Website i will have to join it#i need to get snacks and shit it's gonna be a long night. and morning. and all day tomorrow probably. and another night
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3.08 | “Lovers Walk”
[ANGEL. The Reason. 😭]
#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#bangel#Buffy x Angel#Buffy summers#Angel btvs#*gif#zanisummers#dailybtvs#usernaj#btvs shooting script#ok this makes me wanna cry#but also it’s the fact that when she asked him for advice about whether she should stay in Sunnydale#or go away for college#he encouraged her to go away because it’s a great opportunity for her#like he obviously would love for her to stay because he loves her and wants to be with her#but he cares about her future and her having opportunities more#that’s real love#wanting the best for someone even if that means letting them go#I mean imo he could’ve gone with her anywhere she went but that’s a topic for another day lolol#anyway#love the shooting scripts descriptions#will keep posting them
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the royals 👑
#I already know for a fact that hornton is gonna be one of those characters where i wanna kill myself everytime i draw him#its like i can't draw elegant guys at all#I like em rugged#and stupid#i need them to look like they'll eat the buttons off of my remote#like ruggie#but thats a topic for another day and time#twisted wonderland#malleus draconia#leona kingscholar#kinda rushed leona so ignore any mistakes or things that look of I beg#heh i just realized like rn that the leona's last name has king in it even tho he will never be one#thats gotta be a FAT ass punch to the gut
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you are umasou
#I watched it today it was so good#im not big on dinosaur stuff but i like how it was used to approach the predator/prey conversation especially when both sides are sentient#instead of just defaulting to well since predators are meat eaters their actions are automatically immoral so their role in the story#has to match. and then when your characters /are/ meat eaters you just step around that whole topic#heart knows he has to kill and eat so there’s no avoiding it but even he knows he has agency over that#hell he even decided to hunt by himself so umasou doesn’t have to see him kill and eat another dinosaur a day after meeting him#and maybe its because it’s a kids movie but it also doesn’t make a big show over the act of hunting and eating. it doesn’t dwell on it#like yes you can clearly see them ripping into guts minus the graphic details but it doesnt go out of its way to censor it either#its played straight just like hearts mom having more kids like nobody asks who the father is or when that happened cuz it doesn’t matter#what matters is she still loves heart and encourages her kids to greet their big brother and they do!!! it’s sweet#Beckon was also an interesting touch bc they make it clear the only reason he doesnt eat umasou is bc he cant and not that he wouldn’t#but he’s still a funny and interesting character and that doesn’t get in the way of how we see him too much#same for baku he was pretty polite with heart esp from the start when he asks him if hes abandoned implying he would be prepared to#look out for him from the start. and at the end when he decides to spare him. I dont hate him at all hes just intimidating#you are umasou#doodles#I wanted to draw smth more detailed but I couldn’t decide if I wanted to go with the cartoony art style#or smth closer to realistic?? so this is like. some sort of compromise I guess
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one of the things i'm most disappointed in HoO with is how the series sets up a really beautiful continuity to the first series but now extending from a primary focus on disability to a wider focus on intersectionality (which in itself is a REALLY fascinating place to discuss particularly Percy's character and the overlap between his experiences as a disabled student and how many readers interpret his experiences as him experiencing racial bigotry in part due to his racial ambiguity and how those experiences have overlap and what does that look like for specifically a disabled student of color, etc etc) - like, there is so much set-up for so many things: we have the introduction of a bunch of new major characters, the majority of whom are explicitly not white. We have set-up for queer intersectionality topics (Nico, Jason's bi-coding, Piper being mspec as well eventually). We have set-up for gender intersectionality (all of the girls and the intersection of their disabilities and gender and for everyone other than Annabeth also the intersectionality of gender and race). We even have other forms of disability than just the primary focus of ADHD/dyslexia coming to the table with stuff like Frank having dyspraxia coding, Frank and Hazel both having childhood terminal illness survivor coding, Hazel having seizure coding, Leo having autism coding and Nico's autism coding making a comeback, Percy's book 1 PTSD even gets some references in Son of Neptune, Leo and Nico's depression get big spotlights, also Nico's general grappling with becoming weaker and new physical disability. Heck you could even dive into Jason grappling with gifted kid syndrome and how that plays into his experience with ADHD/dyslexia versus someone like Percy whose same learning disabilities present differently. There's so much set up right at the beginning of the series to dive into...!
...and then Rick does literally nothing with any of that. and it sucks. and then in TOA he does even less with it and just drops nearly all of the disability stuff in general which sucks even MORE. Also it's all made even worse by dropping or magicing-away the existing disability coding because Rick changed his mind about it (Frank's dyspraxia and Hazel's fainting episodes going away, etc etc)
Like, TKC emphasized the themes about how the Kane Siblings grapple with colorism a lot! MCGA talks about queer topics and disability and how those intersect with homelessness! The entire first series has SUCH in-depth metaphors about disability! But HoO and TOA just totally drop the ball about it and don't even try! The most TOA ever gives is the world's blandest directly-spoken-to-the-audience one sentence blurb and pretends that qualifies as representation and that they've fulfilled their quota. TSATS is even worse about the disability erasure and speaking directly to the screen and calling that representation, not to mention how little the TV show erased the majority of references to disability from TLT alongside Percy's PTSD and made Sally an autism speaks mom while they were at it. And while I haven't read it yet I hear CoTG is equally not great about how it handles Percy's disabilities (or Annabeth's).
HoO could have given us so much but it didn't and i will never forgive it for that 😔 also the fandom could stand to talk more about intersectionality cause it's a really interesting topic and there's so much opportunity to explore it in the Riordanverse that does not get nearly enough discussion.
#pjo#riordanverse#hoo#heroes of olympus#rr crit#disability#I WANNA TALK ABOUT PJO INTERSECTIONALITYYYYYY#pretty pretty please can we have a discussion about Percy's adhd and racial ambiguity and how that relates to intersectionality#long post //#sorry disability in the series just seems to be the ramble topic of the day#i went on ANOTHER rant on discord this afternoon about this too#if i ever dont talk about disability in pjo presume i have lost the ability to type and/or speak
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i love the insane juxtaposition between how we talk about autism on tumblr vs on tiktok. on tiktok all everyone ever really discusses are the “easier” parts of autism, the “cute” ones like stimming, special interests and SOMETIMES, and HEAVY on the sometimes, they talk about the lack of tonal understanding and missing jokes and it’s like… dude that’s maybe 1/4 of what the Autism Experience™️ is… like i love tumblr bc we really talk about all the ugly parts on here like what is ACTUALLY means to go mute/nonverbal, or the daily struggles with hygiene and independence, the horrible feeling of knowing that you are fundamentally different from everyone around you and trying to mask but knowing they see through it and being compared to non human creatures to the point where you actually start feeling nonhuman!!! like okay missing the joke sometimes is annoying but yknow what’s worse? not being able to look after myself and knowing there’s a decently high chance that i’ll never be able to live alone. like i need tiktok autistic people to understand that in order for you to have autism, which is a disability, it does have to actually disable you first. i’m not saying that because they only post the “cuter” parts that they don’t have autism!! but like it’s an app full of teenagers and i feel the need to remind them that we all miss jokes sometimes, and we do all have interests and shows that we may really enjoy!! and that’s okay!!
but idk maybe i’m being bitter or smth i always get paranoid that i’m just being a hater but there’s not a single autistic person i know that hasn’t genuinely suffered bc of it in their lives whether it be in their social or personal or academic life. just a thought!!
[weird colours included bc huge chunks of text like this are gross to read otherwise lmfao]
#autistic#asd#neurodivergent#potentially controversial#sorry if it is i’m very passionate about autism#autism#autistic experiences#actually autistic#autistic spectrum#autistic community#being autistic#neurodiversity#i’m not a huge fan of the word neurodivergent but that’s a topic for another day#tumblr don’t come at me for that one
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In Time and Stars
#in stars and time#isat#siffrin#josh art tag#been wanting to practice less “literal” drawings....#like people doing a certain thing or being in a certain place or even just standing there#and instead do more like conceptual stuff?? idk how to word it#but i love doing stuff like this#and i feel like i havent done it in a while#i think last time i did was early in the year when i was still really into the Magnus Protocol#and was illustrating lines from each episode#some of which are my best performing art ever lol#i still remember my sibling telling me they had come across my art on their dash and later on their insta explore page#they had apologized since me and my sibs have an agreement to not search for or interact with each other online just for privacys sake#but i found it both funny and kinda insane#was not expecting my art to get big enough to find its way to that sib lol#uuuhhhhh anyway back on topic#ive had this idea of a siffrin illustration where either have their face or the back part of their head being a clock#and i tried a couple drafts in my sketchbook#and ended up liking this one! it had the addition of the shooting star and from then i toyed with the idea of adding the title text#i have another less literal piece for zelda that i wanna do#but i also wanna work on my isat animatic#....and i also wanna play stardew....#i need more hours in the day 😔
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People will tell you "selfshipping isn't a competition" and "you should make art for yourself" when you feel unheard, and that is true to an extent, but no one can deny how alienating it feels to have so little interaction on art, something you poured so much effort into. It's valid to feel hurt. It may be controversial, and I don't even mean to point fingers. But bottom line, it's valid to feel sad when this kind of thing leaves you feeling alone! We're social creatures after all. Like why else would we even post our art if not for people to see it? If it was all for ourselves then we wouldn't be on SOCIAL media. It's okay to be sad about this and to want things to be different is what I'm saying. You deserve to be talked to and your art deserves to be seen. You should make what you like and you should feel confident in what you put out, but being all alone in it isn't to be sought after wither. It's okay to feel sad.
#I personally try to reblog art when I can when I don't feel socially anxious#Personally I feel like we as a society are becoming too individualistic#But that's a topic for another day#self ship#self shipping#selfship#selfshipping#f/o
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i don't know what order to start Dissecting, so i'll just start with:
it's absolutely fascinating how the dynamic Wally & Barnaby had - to my knowledge - before the update, and a dynamic i'd seen speculated elsewhere and generally accepted, has been completed turned on its head
see, given that Wally is the "main character" and Barnaby is classified as "his best friend", i got the feeling that Barnaby kind of... tags along on Wally's 'shenanigans'. that he's the sidekick, the best friend. especially since their dynamic has been previously & briefly described as "Barnaby is very polite to Wally." he's the Companion.
but the audios sorta paint a reverse picture. in the Interview, when Barnaby enters stage right, he completely bowls over Wally's introduction and dominates the interview. when the interviewer asks how the two of them are handling the fame, even outright asking Wally, Barnaby doesn't hesitate to answer the question himself, and only about himself. Wally doesn't get another word in edge-wise until the interviewer explicitly singles Wally out.
(now, an argument could be made that Barnaby knew that Wally was somewhat overwhelmed with all of the questions, and tried to take the reins to give him a reprieve. but, considering that the interview seems to be very early on the possible timeline - like, very soon after Welcome Home debuted - i don't think this is likely. i doubt Barnaby and Wally would've had the time to solidify their dynamic or really get to know each other that well yet)
and Barnaby continues to take point in pretty much all of their other conversations, too. like in the mystery Howdy/Barnaby/Wally audio, their interaction gives off the vibes that Wally is Barnaby's sidekick, his tag-along.
(on a related tangent, it's fascinating how the website described the episodes as "[beginning] with Wally introducing the focus or theme for the day before coming across other characters who would join him on his escapades until the end of the day." but from pretty much everything we've seen so far, it seems like He's the one who's just along for the ride, bouncing from neighbor shenanigan to neighbor shenanigan instead of having his own adventures.
of course, if the 14 audios are present time, which is honestly somewhat likely, this could be because the show isn't running. they aren't doing episodes - they're just existing, doing their things. no need for Wally to take point in any way shape or form. tangent over)
in the 14 audios with Barnaby, he doesn't even acknowledge Wally until the very end - which, of course, could be because that's how the scenes are set up. except that in some of them, the characters do directly acknowledge Wally's presence outside of the endings. Eddie in 5-14, Howdy and Poppy in 1-14, and Frank in 4-14 (technically, since he was infodumping to Wally at the very start before Barnaby interrupted). you'd think that a guy would try to include his best friend a little more!
maybe i'm reading into it too much. & given what we know about Wally as a character, it would make sense for Barnaby to be the go-getter Main Guy of the two. but it really seems like its Barnaby & Wally instead of Wally & Barnaby. he's just kinda... there. going along with whatever Barnaby is up to.
but also, on the other side of things - & it's occurring to me as i type this, it's interesting how in a lot of audios, Barnaby seems to seek Wally out. in "Just So", he shows up to fetch Wally. in 4-14, Barnaby interrupts Frank and Wally's gardening session, almost as if he's stopping by to check on his little buddy. in 7-14, Barnaby calls Julie's house (presumably) searching for Wally, or at least checking in once again. something to consider in all of this!
#and if the 14 audios are in the same day along a timeline - which they Are. im trying to puzzle it out rn but anyway -#its interesting how barnaby just kept. checkin. in.#they had three audios where they were already hanging out and then got two (technically three) more where barnaby checked in!#it feels like there's something there...#separation anxiety? a compulsion? love for his buddy? a secret fourth thing?#maybe he could tell something was Off with wally that day...#(which is a topic i will ramble about in a different post)#its a push & pull to be certain....#but yeah that plus all the evidence of Barnaby kinda being the Lead and wally being brushed off to the side....#what a complicated fuckin picture it paints!!! dont know what it means yet!#i have another post im working on centering on how the neighbors seem to treat each other - wally & eddie especially#but this post aint about that. itll be related though#homebogging#wh speculation#please let this have made sense!#when i make posts i just kinda throw myself at it bc i have No organizational skills!#my brain is a complete incoherent mess and i am so sorry if this post is messy <3
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