#a thriving city is a living thing ffs

[narendur]

Ugh. To kneecap creativity in the name of improving a city is just nasty.

Hey, remember how I was ranting about the reactionary urbanists who prioritize aesthetics of buildings over Livability

[butchstrife]

okay quick question: what the fuck is ff7 actually like, about. what’s the goal? also why does everyone i see just look like a person who could potentially have something magic abt them and then there’s just an unironic talking cat. what are the rules in this universe? (i don’t need to know about all the other ff games unless it’s necessary setup, i’m mostly just curious abt the story of 7)

Starts vibrating. This is gonna get so long.

First things first I feel it necessary to clarify that no game in the mainline Final Fantasy series takes place in the same world. FFVII is a completely different world from say FFXIV and so on. Some games have sequels and spin offs, like FFVII having Crisis Core and (groan) Dirge of Cerberus, or FFX and FFX-2. But other than that, no relation between games.

Final Fantasy VII is a more sci-fi fantasy take on the FF series, keeping the themes of magic and adventure, but adding a dieselpunk/cyberpunk twist to it. Overall the main themes of FFVII is environmentalism and identity.

The characters are pretty consistent with the themes and designs of the entire FF franchise, it’s meant to be a little silly. So stuff like Moogles, Chocobo, talking cat, all falls under that silliness of FF.

Now the fucking story, there’s so much going on in this game. For simplicity (and personal preference) I will be ignoring the FFVII Compilation in favor of ONLY explaining the original 1997 game. There’s already so much going on, no need to complicate things.

The story of FFVII follows nine heroes who all have their own beef with the Shinra Electric Power Company, the company who rules over many cities and villages throughout the world by use of their private military. Over the roughly 40 years (iirc) the company has been around, they’ve committed several atrocities against humanity and the planet itself, which is a living thing in FFVII!! It’s very very important to note the planet it ALIVE!!

Shinra has several parts of the company that are important to the story, I won’t go over the company’s entire hierarchy, but there’s important parts of the company that I absolutely have to explain.

The R&D department is arguably the most antagonistic, led currently by Professor Hojo. The bitch is this prick who is over enthusiastic about human experimentation, eugenics being a motivator behind that (not as obviously as say Albert Wesker, but you cannot ignore Hojo is largely a eugenicist)

Then we have SOLDIER, Shinra’s super-soldiers created by Hojo. These guys are experimented on and enhanced with Mako, which is well put by Barret the “Lifeblood of the planet.” Among their ranks are Sephiroth, the most famous and powerful of the SOLDIERs, and (allegedly) Cloud Strife. Plus another guy, we’ll get to him.

Then there’s the Power Company part of this power company. Shinra built reactors that pump Mako out of the planet and convert it into energy. This process depletes the planet of Mako, a resource that IS finite and that the planet needs to survive. The company markets Mako as a clean and safe energy source, in a world that previously largely depended on coal mining. However Mako energy is anything but, where the reactors are built, the native flora and fauna eventually die out, and allows monsters to thrive. Plus, exposure to refined Mako is notably very dangerous to humans, as overexposure leads to “Mako poisoning” which meddles the mind and weakens the body. (So how do SOLDIERs work then? Great question! I’ll get to that!)

The story kicks off with a group in Shinra’s crowning accomplishment, the city of Midgar, called Avalanche. Avalanche is a group of “Ecoterrorists” who are set out to take Shinra down to save the planet. The group is led by our beloved Barret Wallace alongside a colorful cast of lovable characters, Jessie, Biggs, Wedge, and Tifa Lockhart! Plus, the newly hired ex-SOLDIER mercenary (and Tifa’s childhood friend), Cloud Strife.

The group conducts several missions to bomb the Mako reactors in Midgar, the first bombing going off without a hitch, the second mission… not so much. After one (really easy) boss fight, Cloud ends up falling off the upper city plate down into the under city, directly through the roof of a church where he meets our mysterious Aeris Gainsborough!! Aeris hires Cloud as a bodyguard (with the payment of one date with her), as she escapes Shinra’s Turks. I’d explain what the Turks do, but just know they’re all kinda John Wick types.

Now I’m gonna speed through the rest of the game since we’ve met all four of the most important protagonists.

The rest of the game kicks off after Aeris decides to help Cloud and Tifa after they learn Shinra plans on destroying part of the city just to take out Avalanche. During their mission to save the city, Aeris is kidnapped by Shinra. Reason being, Aeris is an Ancient (later clarified to actually be called Cetra), a people who were able to speak directly to the planet, and she’s the very last one at that. The mission fails and many innocent people are killed in the fallout, as well as the other members of Avalanche. After all Aeris did to help, including saving Barret’s daughter Marlene, our heroes are determined to save her. During their mission to save Aeris, it’s revealed that the long thought dead General Sephiroth is somehow still alive, a fact Cloud insists should be impossible.

After that, Cloud is determined to track down Sephiroth and take him down for good, as revenge for Sephiroth destroying Cloud and Tifa’s hometown, Nibelheim. All of our heroes agree to help Cloud pursue Sephiroth after learning what he did to Nibelheim. Along the way we meet lots of other characters.

Nanaki aka Red XIII, a funny little talking animal who was being held prisoner alongside Aeris, rescued at the same time she was. He agrees to follow the group until he can return to his home, as thanks for them rescuing him from Professor Hojo.

Yuffie Kisarsgi (my beloved daughter), a teenage ninja and thief from Wutai, who is on the hunt for Materia (magical gems that allow people to cast magic). She joins the group after she steals their materia and promptly is defeated, deciding she might have more opportunities to get materia if she doesn’t go it alone.

The journey continues as the group heads out to find Sephiroth. Their first encounter with him being on a boat to Costa del Sol. Where Sephiroth leaves behind a limb (I think an arm? I never remember which limb is which) of his “mother” Jenova, and flees by doing a backflip and flying away. This limb transforms into a large monster that then attacks the group. After she’s defeated, the quest to find Sephiroth continues.

They travel across the world, landing in all sorts of unique locations, all in search of Sephiroth and how to truly defeat him. We meet more guys.

Cait Sith (look up how to pronounce this in Scottish Gaelic, NOT English) is a little toy cat the group meets at the theme park the Gold Saucer. He receives a fortune that the group is in trouble and cue my favorite “joined the party” moment in any video game:

Vincent Valentine, an ex-Turk who reveals Jenova is not truly Sephiroth’s mother, but instead a woman named Lucrecia, whom he was in love with. Vincent was experimented on by Hojo and gained the ability to turn into monsters. He chose to sleep in a coffin for the rest of his life as atonement for not being able to stop Lucrecia from experimenting on herself and her son. After he learns Sephiroth is a threat to the planet, he joins the group to stop him.

Cid Highwind is a skilled pilot and SHOULD have been one of the first men to go to space, unfortunately one of his crew members put herself at risk during the spaceship’s launch and he chose to cancel the launch to save her. After that, Shinra defunded his space program which he resented them for. The group attempts to steal his plane before Shinra can and he joins them mainly because he wants to stick it to Shinra, plus they broke his plane and he needs to fix it.

That’s the whole gang! Finally, crazy how many playable characters there are in this game.

Eventually the group learns of the Black Materia, an extremely powerful weapon that was created by the Cetra (shhhh don’t listen to Rebirth they lied to you) as a result of them creating Holy, an equally powerful materia that was created to rid the world of Jenova, the Cetra’s greatest enemy. They continue on a quest to find the Black Materia before Sephiroth can use it to destroy the world. (It’s kinda a Fullmetal Alchemist equivalent exchange thing, to create the ultimate protective materia, the ultimate destructive materia had to be created in return)

All the while, Shinra pursues the group hoping Aeris will lead them to the “Promised Land” a land foretold by the Cetra to be a paradise (it’s the Cetra’s afterlife lmfao, Shinra’s stupid).

Upon finding the Black Materia, Sephiroth finally busts out his ability to control Cloud, forcing Cloud to hand over the materia to him. Aaaand now I can explain how SOLDIERs work. All SOLDIERs have Jenova’s cells in them, which is what allows them to survive Mako exposure AND is also how Cloud was able to keep finding Sephiroth! Jenova, and Sephiroth, can exert control over anyone with her cells and is currently trying to create a “Reunion”, drawing in everyone who contains Jenova’s cells so she can be whole again. Which is why Cloud is inexplicably drawn to following Sephiroth (hahahaha bitch fell for the classic thinking it’s about revenge but actually just being alien mind control).

Right after losing the Black Materia to Sephiroth, Aeris heads out on her own. The group manages to follow her to the lost city of the Cetra, where she attempts to summon Holy to defeat Jenova and Sephiroth.

The group arrives too late to rescue Aeris before Sephiroth arrives and kills her. Jenova appears once again and the group defeats her. They all mourn the loss of their beloved friend, then become reinvigorated to stop Sephiroth.

They go snowboarding literally immediately after this, funniest tonal shift of all time, as they head to the northern crater. They gets their hands back on the Black Materia before they make it to a cavern in which the REAL Sephiroth has been sealed this ENTIRE TIME!!!!

Cloud leaves the Black Materia with [enter ally of the player’s choice] so Sephiroth can’t take control of him to steal it back again.

Shinra also makes their way to this cavern, Professor Hojo then reveals that Cloud was never in SOLDIER, but instead is an experiment created by him, a “Sephiroth Clone”. Cloud is led to believe that he isn’t the real Cloud Strife, and only took on that appearance from Jenova’s ability to read minds (she can do so many things) and take the appearance of others based off memory, in this case, Tifa’s memory of her childhood friend. Cloud reacts super normally to this information (he has a meltdown). Sephiroth manages to trick [whoever the player left the Black Materia with] into bringing the Black Materia to Cloud. Who ONCE AGAIN is compelled to give it to Sephiroth.

Sephiroth is back for real now, and summons Meteor with the Black Materia. It’s a meteor, exactly what it sounds like.

Then literally so much happens. I can speedrun the disc three explanation sooo well. Cloud falls into the soup (the Lifestream, think of it like the veins of the planet) and goes missing. The group decides Cid’s in charge in his place since he’s a ship captain. Giant monsters emerge out of the plant, called Weapons (creative naming all around in this game, probably sounded cooler in Japanese). The Weapons were created as a defense mechanism of the planet against Jenova. But now they’re just kinda freaking out and blowing shit up.

Cloud is found completely unresponsive in a town called Mideel, Tifa elects to stay with him in hopes he’ll get better. The rest of the group heads forward on a mission to find the Huge Materia (literally just materia but big) before Shinra. Hoping maybe they’ll be able to use it to stop Meteor somehow.

Wacky adventures ensue. A weapon shows up in Mideel and causes an earthquake that opens up to the Lifestream, Cloud and Tifa both fall into the soup.

In the Lifestream, Tifa explores Cloud’s memories. She slowly tries to piece together the real story of what happened to Cloud, and to prove that he IS the real Cloud Strife.

We learn about Zack, an actual SOLDIER, who came to Nibelheim with Sephiroth before he destroyed the village. And how in Cloud’s memories, he placed himself in Zack’s shoes. (This is who Zack is and this is one of two parts of the entire game he shows up in)

As they go on and explore Cloud’s memories, they learn that he might never have been in SOLDIER, but he WAS in Nibelheim when it was destroyed, but as an infantryman, not a SOLDIER. He wore a helmet the entire time literally only because he was embarrassed about potentially running into Tifa (he was 16 back then, typical teenager behavior).

Cloud and Tifa wash up back in Mideel, found by their friends. This happens:

(Kidding, this is just the joke I made about this scene)

They go kill Sephiroth. Free Holy, which gets rid of Jenova once and for all and with the helpful of the Lifestream (again the planet is very alive) Meteor is stopped and the day is saved!! The only question that remains is, did Holy decide humanity was part of the threat to the planet? Do they remain after Meteor is stopped? It’s up to interpretation!!! We know Nanaki lived tho! He lived on for another 500 years!!!

Anyways that’s the gist of it, there’s like, way more. You would not believe how much story is packed into this game. And I loveeee it, it’s really good :) the characters are my everythings <3

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Reunited: Part 1

Jeez...You were gone for like...what? A few days? And all that happened?

Yeah. But don’t worry, we managed to sort everything out.

Tch! I really don’t know who’s side Kuripa is on these days!

Yeah, I’m with Tenko. I know he protected us at camp, but are we sure we can totally trust the guy?

Actually, that’s the thing.

Kuripa felt guilty for not being able to protect us back at the camp, so the reason he’s gone the extra mile to complete Rantaro’s task is because he wants to make up for that.

So if anything, it’s RANTARO’s fault.

Wha-hey! That’s a little unfair, don’t you think?

I have to say. When I heard you’d joined up with ERR0RM3SS4GE I was surprised. Of all the things you could have been up to these past few years.

Yeah. It’s been interesting though. I’ve gotten to see you guys thriving and doing your thing, while I’ve been sneaking behind the scenes.

Yeah, about that...

*Keebo stands up.

Why didn’t you and your organization jump in and help us stop Zetsubou when they attacked and kidnapped our friends?

In fact, why not help us with any other terrible thing before that? Like when Haiji Towa attacked the city? Or when Zetsubou tried to overtake the Novoselic Kingdom? Or when Makoto was on the run?

Or when Zetsubou erased my memories? 

...

Well Rantaro?

Well, let me put it this way. Even though I act like I know what I’m doing, compared to Agent Static, and the other ERR0RM3SS4GE agents, I’m still very much the greenie.

Pun...not intended.

Basically I take orders from everyone above my station. And my senpai instructed me not to get involved until this point.

Why?

I don’t really know myself...but I can think of a few reasons. The main one however that the organization agrees on is that if we were there from the start, you wouldn’t have been able to grow and develop the way you have.

I mean...look at all you’ve been through and look at how much stronger you’ve grown from it.

That’s bullshit. Maybe we have learned and grown, but that learnin’ and growin’ ain’t worth all the things we’ve lost!

If you’d been there for us, Himiko and Maki might still be here! Ryoma might still have his old friends here! And Shuichi might still have his hands!

Hell, you’re good with computers! Maybe if you’d shown up and helped me find another way to fix Keebo, we would have gotten him back sooner and the whole thing here at the Tower wouldn’t have happened!

Miu...

But that’s what I mean. Think about it for a moment.

Would everyone here say that what happened after the incident at the Tower ended up changing Miu for the better?

Now that he mentions it...I doubt the old Miu would even be up and making points like this if that incident hadn’t happened.

Yeah, she’d probably be her old hoity-toity self...You really HAVE changed a lot since then.

Ah-!? Uh...

I’m not expecting thanks for anything. Just know that if I could have helped, I would have.

But I’m of the same mind as my peers. If they say it’s so, it’s so. If Bluescreen says something’s black, it’s black. If it’s white, it’s white. No one really questions her.

So...Bluescreen is your leader or something?

No, actually, she’s vice-captain. But she is INCREDIBLY demanding.

If she’s anything as demanding as Himuro, then I dread to imagine what she’s like.

Uh-huh...? And who is this “Agent Bluescreen” really?

What part of “Anonymous Hacker Organization” don’t you understand?

Tch!

Look here Rantaro. A lot of Future Foundation’s current movements are riding on ERR0RM3SS4GE’s current info. But given how mysterious you are, whether said info is trustworthy or not remains to be seen.

What are you saying?

I’m saying that while I’m sure the FF have reason to rely on you, I don’t feel comfortable about betting everyone’s lives on a source that we know barely anything about. It’s not necessarily YOU that I’m wary of, it’s your whole organization.

Hate to say it Rantaro, but he is right.

*sigh*

*Rantaro walks over to a wheelie chair in the corner of Mona’s office, turned it around and manspreads on it.

Uugh! Why do you sit like that!? It’s infuriating!

...

*Rantaro stands up again, then spins the chair around and sits on it normally.

Oh uh...you actually stopped...

Yeah. Ever since I got here, you guys have just been hurling complaints at me. “Sit normally” “help us out” “protect our friends.”

Let’s just say that this will be the first of all those complaints that I will FIX.

What do you mean?

*Bzzt!* *Bzzt!*

Huh?

*Kaito’s phone suddenly starts buzzing in his pocket. He takes it out and looks at the screen.

Who is it?

Unknown number...Looks like a payphone address.

Answer it.

Huh? Uh...alright...

*He answers the phone and puts it up to his ear.

Hello? 

Ngh...Kai...to...?

!!!??

*Kaito’s body goes stiff, and his expression quickly shifts into panic.

What’s wrong!?

M-Maki-roll...!? Is that you...!?

*Everyone jumps to their feet.

WHAT!?

Did you just say MAKI!?

...

Wait but...I thought she was still in Zetsubou base!?

Kaito! Put it on speaker, now!

Ah!

*Kaito does as he’s told and puts his line on speaker. Maki’s exhausted and painful voice sounds out throughout the room.

Grgh...Kaito...h...help...me...

What’s going on!? Where are you!?

W-We’re...We’re at...a bar near Hiro...shima...I ngh...

Maki! Are you alright!? You sound injured!

I-I’m fine! Egh...Just...tired...Please, hurry...I have to...end...the call...before they...find me...Ngh...

Maki-MAKI!? No NO NO NO NOO!

*Before Kaito can get more information, Maki ends the call.

...!

...!

...

//MAKI HARUKAWA CAN NOW RECIEVE ASKS//

[kitkatopinions]

It feels so out of place how the narrative and the characters have always treated the Atlas military (alternatively suspicious, tyrannical or incompetent), yet when push came to shove that same military fought and died for hours against Salem's invasion to protect the tens of thousands of people trapped in Atlas BECAUSE of Ruby while Ruby sat and drank tea. How long did that battle go for? Four hours? Five? And if that wasn't enough, it only ended because Oscar was only covering the escape. 1/2

No lie, I feel like the world they invented pretty much requires the presence of a militarized force to sustain itself and it's one reason why approaching the Atlas military as 'point blank bad with no gray area' and approaching Hunters with 'point blank good with no gray area' makes no sense to me.

I've seen fans literally say that they knew Atlas, its military, and James were bad from the get go because of the use of the words army and military, and that army = bad, but ffs it's a fantasy world where the rules are one hundred percent different than the real world. The world of Remnant we're presented with is one with dark monsters thriving on negativity and attacking indiscriminately, reproducing at a fast rate, and adapting while showing intelligence and the understanding of consequences. They're known to bring down towns when something goes wrong, like a bandit raid. Single Grimm can take down whole towns. Panic stirs up Grimm activity and enough of it can bring down whole Kingdoms. The Hunter system we've been shown is A. corrupt, and B. a profession that doesn't seem to churn out a good many hunters, and many of the Hunters we see are concerned with big picture things or specific tasks, or retired or dead, due to the inherent danger level of the job. There simply aren't enough Hunters. There aren't enough Hunters to run border control, to protect the cities if they get attacked, to ferry kids back and forth from school while Grimm activity is up, to investigate suspicious activity and handle it when things go wrong, to save civilians when push comes to shove, to be parts of secret organizations while also maintaining their oaths to protect. Hunters seem more like specialists, at least from what I've seen in show. They're trained to be able to take on high level threats and go through a rigorous program, but they can't act as the only line of defense, partially due to their lack of numbers. They aren't actually the driving protective force keeping the Grimm out of the kingdoms on a day to day, hour by hour basis.

We see this over and over again in the show. Hunters get overwhelmed, towns fall, cities fall, they can't do the work of hundreds of people. Teams RWBYJNR and the Happy Huntresses never would've been able to protect Mantle from a direct attack from Salem, for example, when they couldn't even keep all the civilians safe from the Grimm that were occurring naturally due to political upheaval and unrest. In a world where demon monsters from hell will manifest and attack if too many people feel negatively at once and feelings of safety and security are needed to try and prevent the Grimm from coming in droves, an army is the only real solution here. Remnant is not the real world, the way we view armies is not automatically the way the people in Remnant view armies. And in fact, the show in the early seasons does a very strange thing; they have Ozpin express a belief that unrest and nervousness will occur due to James bringing his fleet to Vale (with every sign pointing to him having been asked there by the Vale Council,) and yet the reactions that we do see are actually the opposite, but this is still somehow heralded as foreshadowing by both the fans and seemingly the show itself. From Ruby geeking out about seeing the Atlas robots being displayed, to everyone being relieved and awed when the army showed up to protect everyone in the episode "Breach," where Atlas ships saved Ruby and she gave a grateful smile, salute, and wave, the Atlas military seems well received.

And the Atlas robotic soldiers taking down Grimm as civilians run past during the Fall is another example.

Even Oz, Qrow, and Glynda who were the only three people to express mistrust or anxiousness towards the presence of the army in Vale, are only seen either telling James to use his army (Oz,) or are seen fighting by the army's side, and then being welcoming and taking direct orders from James without being even the slightest bit suspicious of him.

We don't see the supposed anxiousness and mistrust in anyone outside of Oz, Qrow, and Glynda, who all one hundred percent trusted James anyway and were only worried that everyone else would be worried. The fact that Watts (someone everyone thought was dead) managed to hack the Atlas robots, has been the only negative effect we saw in the first three seasons, and that's not due to any corruption or mistake on the part of the Atlas army or James himself (something going horribly wrong in a way no one could expect due to the evil actions of a group of other people is not actually the fault of the person trying and succeeding to do good until the group of other people did bad.)

I could get into more reasons to not think the Atlas army is corrupt, but I don't want this post to get too long, and I want to address your very right statements about the way they portrayed their protagonists versus the army even while they were trying to push the concept that the Atlas army is corrupt and bad.

Ironwood: Desperately doing whatever he can to save lives from Salem, planning ways to bring down the Whale Grimm, trying to protect the Relics and the Maiden from Salem's grasp.

Team RWBY and co: Risking the lives of literally everyone on purpose because they don't want to be in a no win situation, preventing Ironwood from taking life saving actions because it won't save every live, expressing zero concern or grief for the hundreds dying to Salem on the battlefield.

The Ace Ops: Trying to navigate their morals while they do what they can to try and protect the civilians in Atlas who are directly in danger, trying to convince Penny to actually save people, planning to take down the whale grimm even if they have to suffer knowing a kid died in the process of protecting hundreds and likely thousands of other kids directly in danger of dying.

Team RWBY and co: Prioritizing their friends, prioritizing missions that logic says won't help people especially with the fall of Atlas making it impossible to protect everyone who's going to be in danger, picking fights with people who are trying to save others.

Team FNKI: Delving into war and battle while facing their fears, trying to protect people, trying to do the job they chose and stare floods of Grimm down.

Team RWBY and co: Drinking tea in mansions, worrying about their love lives, crying on staircases, laughing with a murderer...

Even while they were having Ironwood shoot down people that stood in his way and express that he wished he'd thought about torture and sending bomb threats, they still didn't have the protagonists actually seem like likable, convincingly good protagonists that I would want to root for. It seems like they had to try hard to make James someone people couldn't root for because they couldn't make Ruby and her team actually right, effective, and good. They really seem so selfish, immature, unprepared, and entitled. Which isn't to say that the protagonists can't have those flaws, but they're not getting treated like flaws, which is the most frustrating thing.

Before the writers needed to push their message that Ironwood is completely evil and everything he's involved with is inherently wrong, we didn't get much sign that the Atlas army was corrupted and bad, because projecting real world standards onto a fantasy world that we know is very different from ours isn't it. That's not to say that I think 'not showing us this system is corrupted early' means that there's no possible corruption, but I think it's clear that the fandom pushed narrative that the Atlas army is inherently bad and worse somehow than being a Hunter which is somehow much better is very biased, especially when we also see corruption in the Hunter profession.

Making James and the Ace Ops do vile thing didn't make the protagonists seem better. They still fell way short of adequate.

[sarasa-cat]

Personal rant regarding covid 19 in the US.

My list of “dead to me” non-essential small businesses and private educational schools/groups/thingers grows larger and larger every week.

Yes, sure, I fully understand that (1) your business model has previous thrived on and catered to face-to-face group interactions, and (2) you are based in a country that is providing little to no economic relief. I get it. Really, I do. I see the tough situation you’ve been put in. I know what an empty bank account and a pile of bills looks like.

But ffs, if you can move your entire business online and/or into a fully socially distanced “pick up window” style model (like many family owned resturants which have converted 100% to take-away and won’t even let people inside), just freaking do it. DO IT.

And those who are on that increasingly long “dead to me” list are ALL ABSOLUTELY CAPABLE OF DOING THIS because they either already have a partial online component or others offering similar products/services already have a successful thing going after switching entirely to online (or online + pick up window).

Some people just feel a need to be difficult and this is why city, county, and state govs just need to implement real shutdowns in the US. Actual, real, shutdowns with big fines that will be placed on you and your business.

And sorry if this isn’t the so-called american way.

...

And don’t even get me started on how people in america are just blithely traveling long distance and gathering for dinners and holidays like what the ever living fuck are you people that stupid?

[bitchylittlepsycho69]

entry #1  - Him

Content Warning: suicide, depression and self harm. If you're sensitive to these topics, and you aren't a total masochist about it, maybe you should avoid reading this one.

this is my first entry.

 I want to know if other people feel the same way.  

         is it bad that he still says “kill yourself, look for a reason to” even if I turned a corner, stayed sober, stopped cutting, or had absolutely no reason to feel that way? It’s been since I was 10 that I felt the need to cut, the little voice inside my head saying do it, it’s worth it, you will be at peace, unfortunately I am not as selfish as I thought  and I think of my mom every single fucking time... I don’t really no what reason I had to cut myself at that age, but all I remember was the first time he appeared. the little voice inside my ear. Him.

   I wasn’t really a enjoyable person to be around growing up, always had problems with friends or my weight or just being able to communicate with people in a certain way, my mom used to say I was just quiet, but honestly I was being consoled by that stupid voice in my head

 ‘LIE, CUT, DON’T EAT, YOU WILL FEEL BETTER LISTEN TO ME JOANNE’.

 I don’t know why... but his voice sounded so soothing until you stop listening to him. then he gets violent and aggressive.  

 ‘MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE WORTHLESS AND YOU NEVER FUCKING LISTEN JOANNE

 ugh shut up guy.  

 After I went into high school. He broke loose. I was my own demon for a while, I started getting into things I never did in my life, (drinking smoking snorting fighting getting arrested the whole shebang) but it’s not like I wasn’t enjoying it. I would drink or do drugs with my new friends to forget about what I’ve been through. like turning over a new leaf. but that was toxic. and on a daily basis I would drink smoke cut repeat. day after day it was like an addiction for pain and forgetfulness. After grade 9 summer 2012, he came back. stronger. he knew every weakness of mine, I am him, he is me. he knows everything now. just when I thought he was gone. he came right back.

  I got expelled. sent a girl to the hospital, was arrested, charged. you know it. after that I was sent to counseling but still didn’t go so, I breached my probation, twice. all I remember is that giggle that me and him would do when we would get in trouble do something ridiculous like spray paint the water tower or steal from tip jars and from grocery stores, just stupid shit. I loved the attention and so did he. but he knew my future. and at that time, I didn't. he was up to something. but 16-year-old Joanne, was fucking clueless.

 years are passing by same old shit just a different day and my life got boring so demon left for a while, I stopped cutting got into habits like working ffs. my demon left for a while when it was 2015, when I first met the love of my life, knowing I’m manipulative I did everything in my power to keep him around, sometimes healthy, most of the time not. but eventually that relationship came to came to an end and we lost contact.  but HE came back. angry. and violent, and ready to play. I grabbed whatever drug I had in my cabinet, took it all. drank until I woke up in the middle of a park on the opposite side of the city when I was just drinking by myself at home, got a 15000 loan and spent it on blow Xanax bottles and cases of liquor, I paid last 3 months rent so I could pretty much trash it for 3 months then find another dump to live in. I drank and drove everywhere sometimes I was black out and still was lucky to make it home. but I didn’t care. I’m ready to die. he knows it, and I know it. and on that day in June 1, 2018 we agreed with each other for the first time. he knew everything now to get rid of me. he knew the alcohol would stay he knew I wouldn’t stop he knows I wouldn’t get help.

 ‘Now its time Joanne. now there’s nothing more you have left, you’re 20k in debt, your family hates you your friends tolerate because you have the money, you had the stuff, but where is everybody now? you were meant to die alone. Just fucking do it’

 “Okay”

 After that somebody called the cops on me, they showed up and I was there puking and passed out, only I didnt have any cuts on my arm, pills and cocaine were scattered and mixed together vodka was all over me and I had bleach; unopened, thankfully. Now if that wasn’t rock bottom. Then there is definitely a lot more to come... because I’m still falling.

 got on medication, trazodone mostly, some anti depressants, but I wasn’t allowed to have to many, because I am a substance abuser. I could hear him mocking me from the distant “fucking pussy”. He would say it to make me drink to taunt and every time that happened, I would drink and drive, and guess who has a DUI now. After the meds started kicking in, he fucked off. But I stopped taking my meds right after. Is it bad that I missed him?

 He left and I didn’t hear from him until September 2019. But that’s another story. Thanks for reading.

  my depression will always find a way back. there is no escaping my life. but at least I’m not alone, I have him. he will always be there when you fall, to cradle you in your darkest times, to eagerly make you want  feel the endorphins breaking through your wrist, that feeling you’ve been thriving for, the art painted with a blade that you found in your dads tool box, the tears that you shed of every minute of everyday, the things you go through. he will be right where he needs to be. With you. Always.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If any of you are going through something and need to talk to somebody or if somebody you know is going through something there are many support services that are here to help.  

IN CANADA:

Canadian Suicide Prevention Service (CSPS): French or English: toll-free 1-833-456-4566 Available 24/7

 Kids Help Phone is Canada’s only 24/7, national support service. We offer professional counselling, information and referrals and volunteer-led, text-based support to young people in both English and French.Whether by phone, text, mobile app or through our website, you can connect with us whenever you want, however you want. KIDS HELP PHONE (20 years or youngers): 1-800-668-6868 (Online or on the Phone)

UNITED STATES:

United States Suicide Prevention Lifelines are available 24/7 Call National Hope Helpline at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or in Spanish, 1-888-628-9454.

Center for Mental Health Services (CMHS), of the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), maintains a mental health services locator, which you can use to help find services, facilities and resources in your state. 

[unfolded73]

How Do We Get Back (15/16) - schitt’s creek ff

Summary: In a literal alternate universe where the Roses escaped financial ruin, David and Patrick struggle with loneliness and a sense that something isn’t right. A chance meeting in New York and a terrible tragedy drive them to question whether the timeline they are on is the right one. Explicit, this chapter 3.6k words.  (ao3)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14

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Chapter 15

David opened his eyes and stared at the stained popcorn ceiling overhead. He sighed and closed his eyes, ready to fall back to sleep, but nagging responsibility kept him from drifting off. He had a lot to do, and not much time left to do it in. Groaning, he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

The bed next to his was empty. Giving it a quick glance, he gathered up some clothes and went into the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day.

While the water warmed up, he stared at himself in the mirror, touching the dark circles under his eyes and wincing. He hadn’t been sleeping enough lately: too many worries to get a good night’s sleep. Testing the water, David slipped off his pajamas and got under the inadequate spray.

After so long in this motel, he had his shower routine down to about seven minutes, which his old self would have died to think of. But the hot water was limited, and the weak water pressure wasn’t particularly pleasurable to stand under, and so he’d paired it down to the basics of washing, shampooing, and conditioning. At seven minutes exactly, he turned the water off and groped for his towel.

Face shaven, hair blow dried and styled, daytime moisturizer with sunscreen applied, and clothes on, he stepped out of the bathroom and went over to the door to the adjoining room. He tapped and listened for a ‘come in’ before he entered.

His mother was sitting at the round table in her pajamas, sipping a cup of tea and reading a book. His father was pulling on his suit jacket next to the wig wall.

“Hey, I just wanted to let you know, I should be ready to open the store in just a couple more weeks.”

“Oh, that’s great news! A grand opening!” Johnny said.

“It’s certainly taken long enough; we’ve been waiting with bated breath,” Moira said.

“Okay,” David said in acknowledgement of his mother’s negativity before turning to his father. “I was thinking about a soft launch, actually? Like, Gwyneth soft launched the Goop newsletter and now it’s a thriving lifestyle publication?”

“Who?” Johnny asked as he adjusted the collar of his shirt in the mirror.

“I don’t know, David, that sounds meek!” Moira proclaimed, setting her book down and looking at him. “You’re looking very tired, dear. The bags under your eyes would barely fit in the overhead compartment.”

David huffed, throwing his hands up. “Getting the store ready to open is a lot of work.” And more importantly, he’d been lying awake worrying about all the things he needed to do, and worse, all the things that he probably didn’t know that he needed to do.

“You should probably hire some help, son.” Johnny sat down with his wife at the table and picked up the newspaper.

“I intend to, eventually, but I don’t have the money to pay anyone at this point. Hiring someone means you have to pay them.”

His mother was looking at him pityingly, as if maybe she was wondering if they wouldn’t have all been better off if Christmas World hadn’t changed their mind about moving into the town. In his darker moments, David wondered that too.

“Anyway, I’m thinking I’ll do an exclusive opening for friends and family only. Maybe I’ll offer a discount.”

“On the first day? Sounds a bit defeatist.” His mother shook her head, picking up the book she had been reading and opening it. “Well, David, we’ll be happy to come and support your modest little vigil, if ever the day for it finally arrives.”

“Great. So glad I came in here,” he said, going back to his room and leaning against the closed door, taking a second to wallow in the shaky feeling of inadequacy that his parents were so good at mining, even if it wasn’t intentional. He took some deep breaths, trying to calm himself down.

The outside door to the motel room opened and Alexis came in, dressed in her running clothes.

“I’ve just about had it with Mom and Dad,” David said.

She pulled out her ear buds. “What?”

“I said I’ve just about had it with Mom and Dad.”

“Why?”

“Hey, can you help me at the store today? I have a list of things to do that’s like a mile long and I really don’t know if I can do it all by myself.”

Alexis put on a wincing expression. “I need to study, actually.”

“It’s Saturday morning; you can’t need to study that badly.”

“I have a history test on Monday, David,” she insisted, flipping her ponytail. “But fine, I can help you. I’m not carrying any heavy boxes, though.”

“Ugh, fine.” He watched Alexis as she went over and set her phone and ear buds down on the table between their beds, then pulled her ponytail holder out and shook out her hair. “Are you done in the bathroom? Because I need to shower,” she said, moving over to the closet to pick an outfit.

“Yeah, I’m…” Something was bothering him, like he’d forgotten to tell Alexis something. He felt a sudden, keen worry for her in the pit of his stomach, like when she used to send word to him from a sultan’s palace that she needed a new passport, a wig, and some colored contact lenses.

Alexis turned, a dress on a hanger in one hand. “You’re what?”

David shook himself. “I’m done in the bathroom.” Looking at her face, the sudden urge to cry took hold of him. “I think I might need a hug?”

“Ew, David. I’m sweaty right now,” Alexis said. “What’s wrong with you?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t know, I feel…” He couldn’t articulate it. “I think I might just be really lonely,” he said, which didn’t have anything to do with the anxiety about Alexis that had grabbed hold of his throat a minute ago, but it also wasn’t untrue.

Alexis laid her dress on the bed and came over to give him a very hesitant hug, but David overruled her, pulling her into a firmer embrace. “I’m glad you’re my sister,” he said, swallowing against a lump in his throat.

“David, you’re being very needy,” she said, slapping gently at his shoulder until he let her go. “But I’m also glad… that you’re my brother,” she said, pulling away and looking anywhere but at his face. “Okay, if you want my help today, then you have to let me go get ready.”

He watched her until she shut the bathroom door.

~*~

Gwen was late to Jazzagals rehearsal, and so when she arrived and ducked in behind Twyla and next to Ronnie, vocal warm-ups were just ending.

“Now,” Moira Rose said, clapping her hands. She had on a white-and-black vertically striped dress, similarly striped tights, and white shoes with heels so high, Gwen couldn’t imagine how anyone could walk in them without snapping an ankle. “Everyone please get out your sheet music for ‘It’s Raining Men’; I’d like to begin with the bridge today.”

Gwen tapped Twyla on the shoulder. “Do you have a minute to talk after rehearsal?” she whispered.

Twyla winced. “I have to get to my shift after this; can we talk on the way to the café?”

Moira shot them a disparaging glance for whispering during rehearsal, and so Gwen quickly found her place in the music and began to sing.

It had started with dreams, several weeks ago, that she was living out on the street in a strange city. She would wake up shivering, convinced that the cold and damp was sinking into her bones and freezing her from the inside out, only to awake to find herself safe in her warm bed with Bob. Dream after dream, the same — cold winters and rain and homeless shelters or the unforgiving sidewalk for a bed. Then she began to dream that she was chasing after David Rose, of all people — she didn’t think she’d ever exchanged two words with the man in all of the time that the Roses had lived in Schitt’s Creek, and yet he was plaguing her dreams. Either him, or another man that she didn’t recognize.

She’d been documenting the dreams on the message boards from the very start — all of them were encouraged to do that. Dreams could be powerful portents for what was to come, particularly for people who lived at weak points like Gwen did, and a lot of her fellow technopagans had much to say on the reason for these dreams, none of it useful. Until yesterday.

The rehearsal dragged by, Moira’s exacting standards and occasionally thoughtless comments bringing out a few passive aggressive mutterings from Jocelyn. Finally, it ended, and Gwen made the usual pleasantries with her fellow townswomen for a few minutes before hurrying to follow Twyla out the door.

“Sorry to bother you, Twyla, but I wanted to talk to you about your grandmother,” Gwen said.

“Oh yeah?” Twyla flashed her an easy smile. “What about her?”

“The stories around town were that she had powers.” Gwen glanced around to make sure no one was close enough to hear them. “That she understood what Schitt’s Creek is and how to exploit it.”

Twyla looked at her, surprised. “Yeah, there were always stories, but I’m not sure how true any of them are. She certainly believed she had powers to touch other dimensions. Which, I know, sounds crazy.”

“Not so crazy.” They were almost to the café, and Gwen knew she had a limited amount of time with which to speak before she risked being overheard. She put a hand on Twyla’s upper arm and stopped her. “We can’t feel it, but people with powers that greatly exceed my own have confirmed it — there was a huge shift in the timeline a couple of years ago. No one knows why, or how, but they believe that the universe was almost headed down a very dark path and that someone set it right.”

Twlya’s eyes were as big as saucers. “Really?”

Gwen nodded. “Or, almost right. It was a patch job, that was the way my coven— er, someone I know on the internet described it. So some things are still out of place. Some threads were dropped. People have been working to set them right, no matter how trivial they might seem. And now it seems I’ve found another dropped thread.”

“What is it?” Twyla asked in a hushed tone.

“Someone who is supposed to be here in Schitt’s Creek, but isn’t.”

“Who?”

“Don’t worry about that,” Gwen said, not wanting to get into more detail. “When you get off work, can you bring me everything you have that belonged to your grandmother? Letters, diaries, anything like that?”

Twyla nodded. “Of course. I have a box of her stuff, although I don’t remember what’s in it, exactly.”

“Perfect. Go, get to work before you’re late,” Gwen said, indicating the café. “And Twyla? Don’t tell anyone we talked about this.”

Twyla frowned, and then wiped the frown from her face and replaced it with a smile. “No problem, Gwen.”

~*~

“What’s this?” Alexis said, picking up a large white envelope from the counter.

David glanced up. “Oh, it’s got my business license in it. I guess I’m suppose to… display it?” He looked up at the wall behind where the cash register was going to go. “I don’t know, I don’t really have time to think about it.” He went into the back to get another heavy box of hand cream to have Alexis put the labels on for him so that he could focus on setting up the cases where the fresh vegetables were going to go when they were in season.

They worked all day, or David worked all day while Alexis intermittently worked and sampled products that weren’t really samples while David restrained himself from slapping them out of her hands. Stevie stopped by after her shift at the motel, and although her goal in coming by was to drink with him, David managed to press her into service as well, putting bottles of body milk onto the shelves. Alexis took that as her cue to leave, flouncing out the door and heading over to the café.

“Can you drink this?” Stevie asked, holding up one of the bottles.

“It’s liquid moisturizer,” David replied with an eye roll.

“It says milk, though.”

The bell on the door rang again, and David looked up to see Ray Butani coming in.

“David, I looked over your business plan,” he said without any preamble, “and I have some concerns.”

Stevie gave David a questioning look.

“Ray is helping me with some of the business stuff,” David explained.

“For a nominal fee,” Ray said quickly, like he didn’t want any rumors to get around town that he was doing work for anyone for free. “Anyway, David, while I think eventually you’ll have enough money coming in to sustain you, I don’t think you have enough start up money to get you through the first year.”

David’s heart sank. “But I’m not buying the products, I’m selling them on consignment—”

“No, I know that, David, that’s the reason that I’m not coming in here and saying your business is going to fail. Which I would do if you weren’t selling on consignment.” Ray smiled at him, and David recoiled at the Ray’s toothy grin. “But there are still start up costs that you have to deal with while you’re building the business.”

“So where do I get this start up money?” David asked.

“I don’t know!” Ray cooed cheerfully. “But that’s my assessment. I wrote it all up for you,” he said, handing David a folder. “I’ve got to run; I’ve got a date.” Ray turned to leave, and then stooped and picked something up from the floor. “You dropped this,” Ray said, handing David a small card.

“Must have fallen out of one of the boxes,” David said, slipping it in his pocket since he didn’t have a trash can handy.

“See you later!” Before David could say anything else, Ray had gone again.

“Well, fuck,” David said. “My business is going to fail.”

“He specifically said he wasn’t saying it was going to fail,” Stevie said.

“But he also said I needed more start up money, which is basically the same thing,” David set the folder down and shook his hands out, feeling his heart starting to race. “I don’t have more money.”

“Okay, you’re freaking out.” She set her bottle of body milk down and pulled something out of her pocket and held it up. “I found this under the bed in room two this morning, so do you want to take a break and share it with me?”

David winced, looking at the joint in Stevie’s hand. “That’s disgusting. And yes. Yes, I do.”

~*~

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” David murmured, tipping his chair back and letting his head recline to look at the ceiling. The store had a really nice ceiling, but no one was going to look at it, probably. What a waste.

“You do know what you’re doing,” Stevie said from the floor. “You’ve walked me through it a million times.”

“I know what I’m doing with the whole…” He gestured around at the store. “I don’t know what I’m doing with the money.”

Stevie propped herself up on an elbow and held out her hand, snapping her fingers until he handed her the mostly smoked joint. “Well, don’t ask me to help you with that. I don’t do math.”

“You’re useless.”

“And your stained glass back there looks like they have dicks on them,” Stevie said, pointing at the decorative hangings on the back wall.

“That’s why I like them.”

Stevie inhaled a long drag and handed the joint back, lying flat on the floor again. “You need a partner.”

“I should start with a first date, maybe,” David said.

Laughing, Stevie rolled over onto her stomach. “Not that kind of partner, you complete idiot. A business partner.”

“Oh, a business partner. Okay, well where am I going to find that here?” David slid down off of his chair onto the floor next to Stevie. The ceiling really was beautiful. Not like the ceiling at the motel that he’d been staring at for years, water-stained and horribly textured. Maybe he could just sleep here. He could live in the store, amongst his perfectly ordered bottles of facial cleanser and lotions and baggies of tea until they hauled him away for not paying his taxes or not making the lease payments on the store. One of the hundred financial things that he was guaranteed to screw up because his parents hadn’t prepared him for any of this.

Stevie reached over and threaded their fingers together. David was touch-starved, and it felt good to hold his friend’s hand. “I wish I knew. I really want you to succeed at this.”

He snorted. “You get so sincere when you’re high.”

“Take that back.”

They lay there in silence for a while, and then Stevie let go of his hand and reached for his pocket.

“What are you doing?” David asked.

“There’s something falling out of your pocket.” Her hand withdrew, and she was holding a card up to her face. “Who’s Patrick Brewer?”

David was watching the way the sunlight played over the bottles of toner. It was one of the most beautiful things he’d ever seen. Belatedly, he registered that Stevie had asked him a question. “Who’s what?”

She was clumsily waving the business card in his face now, risking a paper cut on the bridge of his nose, so he snatched the card. “This business card from your pocket. Patrick Brewer. Who’s that?”

“I don’t know, Ray picked this up off the floor earlier. It’s not mine; it must have fallen out of one of the boxes.” He squinted at the business card.

Patrick Brewer, B.B.A. Freelance Business Consultant

“Huh.”

Stevie grabbed the card back. “It’s a card for a business guy.”

“That’s kind of spooky, given what we were just talking about,” David said.

“You should call him!” Stevie said.

“What, and ask him to come work for my failing business?”

She rolled her eyes and struggled up into a sitting position. “No, but it says business consultant. Maybe he’d give you better advice than Ray.”

David didn’t say anything to that, and after a few seconds Stevie shoved on his shoulder and put the business card on his chest. “Call him.”

Closing his eyes, David sighed. “Maybe later.”

“No, I know you — you say ‘later’ but you won’t do it. Call him right now.” Stevie tapped on the card and on his sternum underneath it. “I’m not leaving until you call him.”

With a groan, David sat up, grabbing for the card as it fluttered into his lap and pulling his phone out of his pocket with the other hand. “Fine.” It took longer than it probably should have for him to remember how to dial a number on his phone, and then longer still to squint at the small numbers and type them in correctly, but he finally managed it. He listened to distant ringing, followed by a nice voice saying he’d reached Patrick Brewer and to leave a message. It was a short, no-nonsense message. No frills. Unremarkable. Still, the brief sound of that voice made his heart race.

“Hi David, it’s Patrick,” he said at the beep, and then immediately winced while Stevie laughed silently at him. “I found your card… your business card… in my store, and I was wondering if you… umm… no. I think I called you David, and that’s not your name. I’m David… David Rose, and I own a store that… well, we sell local products and crafts, and I was wondering if you’d be interested in consulting with me. For me. Okay. Ciao.” He pressed the button to end the call. “Ciao. I said ‘Ciao’ to that person.”

“Masterful,” Stevie said, standing up.

“You’re the one who made me call when I was high.” He was staring at his phone again. “I forgot to tell him where the store is. And I didn’t explain it well enough.”

Stevie grabbed her messenger bag and threw it over her shoulder. “Well, better call back and leave another message,” she said as she headed toward the door. “I’m gonna go home and crash. See you tomorrow?”

David waved absently at her, pressing the button to call Patrick Brewer and leave another message.

~*~

“Well?” Twyla said as she put Stevie’s ticket for her takeout on the order wheel.

“It worked. I had to slave over containers of hand cream for a couple of hours and smoke half a joint, but I finally managed to get him to do it,” Stevie said, her head starting to ache as she sobered up. “Now are you going to explain why it was so important that David call that guy? And why I had to be so sneaky about it?”

Twyla gave her a cheerful shrug as she wiped down the counter. “I’m not sure I understand it either, and I’m pretty sure Gwen wouldn’t tell me if I asked. It’s just… important for David. And for Schitt’s Creek. That’s all I know.”

Stevie shook her head. “And they call me the creepy one in this town.”

Chapter 16

[ellanainthetardis]

It is time to say it... After this one, we’re two chapters away from the end... Let me know your thoughts!

[ff} or {ao3]

Chapter 58 :  Sometimes You Are

“The maid told me you were back. I did not hear the car.” Effie announced, walking in the library like she owned the place.

Well… She did, he supposed.

Haymitch barely glanced up from the window. He could see the pen full of geese from that window and he liked watching the birds. She had gifted them to him a few days after they had moved to the country house and he found them… peaceful.

More peaceful than being forced to deal with maids and domestics.

The house was too big for it to be otherwise.

He liked it when it came down to it. It was a small estate but an estate nonetheless, with a huge meticulously designed topiary garden, a gazebo, tortuous paths that slithered around what passed as woods in that part of the country… The house itself would have been better called a mansion. The library with its hidden passage in the wall that ended up next to the woods was his favorite room – mainly because it was full of books he hadn’t read and because nobody disturbed him in there. There was an interior pool downstairs, a couple of living-rooms, a big dining-room, something that Effie refused to call a ballroom and far too many bedrooms.

He understood why they needed the staff but he resented the invasion on his privacy.

He would have liked to be able to come and go from his house without anyone tattling to her.

“They dropped me off at the gates.” he mumbled. “Walked back from there.”

Being half an hour away from the city was a blessing. Sometimes, he didn’t hear about the Capitol for a few days and… He could even forget. This place was certainly not Twelve. It was neutral ground. And it was good.

“I thought you might stay in the city tonight.” she ventured, hesitant.

He turned to study her, finally. Her blond hair was tied in a low ponytail and she was wearing a simple enough dress that told him she didn’t expect a visit or wasn’t planning on going out. He had been scared she would put on airs all the time with staff around but that was a compromise they had been forced to reach: as few people working there as possible, invisible ones, and it couldn’t affect the way she acted because… Well, the side of her he loved most was the side he was the only one allowed to see. He hadn’t married Euphemia Trinket, he had married Effie.

She looked uncertain but, then again, he was aware that he was guarded and hostile. He had been for a while now. Ever since Plutarch Heavensbee had showed up uninvited about two weeks after the Tour, when they had barely been done settling in their new home, and had asked him to follow him back to the Presidential Mansion for a special project.

The special project that had involved two former rebels leading the witch hunt on what was left of them…

The work was challenging, it was the thing. And he had always loved a good challenge, which only made him even more disgusted with himself. So for two months now, he had been helping the government bury what was left of the rebellion deep into the ground.

And he had found more new reasons to avoid his face in the mirror every morning.

He hadn’t been dealing with all that stuff very well, no surprise there. And the house was so big that he sometimes thought he and Effie would lose each other in it if they weren’t careful.

“It’s over.” he said flatly.

She frowned and hurried closer, outstretching a hand that she dropped halfway there. “You found them all?”

He swallowed hard and rested his forehead against the cold glass of the window, staring down below at the white dots the geese formed.

“We got Paylor this morning.” he told her. She had been the most elusive, the last real danger, the last possible spark of a rebellion. Eight’s rebel cell had been the hardest to crush. He had spent days studying her file – and unsurprisingly the Capitol was good at keeping detailed files on possible threats – and even longer designing the perfect trap for the woman to fall in. “It’s over.”

Effie sighed in relief when she snuggled against his side but he wasn’t sure what she was relieved about. That they were in the clear? That he was done hunting down people that would only be put down like dogs once captured? That he was done disappearing for days in a government building often without means of contacting her other than a short phone call to warn her he wouldn’t be back that night?

“How are you?” she asked softly.

He closed his eyes even as he wrapped an arm around her waist in reflex, bringing her closer. How was he? It was a good question. One he didn’t have a clue how to answer.

“She was a good woman, I think.” he said quietly. “And now she’s dead ‘cause I…”

“You kept the children alive. You kept me alive.” she cut him off. “You didn’t have a choice, Haymitch. You have to remember. You didn’t have a choice.”

That was a lie and not a lie at the same time.

He could have chosen the difficult path and made a stand even if it had cost him… everything. He could have refused to be a puppet, a dog who ran when he heard the whistle…. He could have…

No…

He couldn’t have.

He wrapped his second arm around her waist and brought her even closer, burying his nose in her hair and breathing in the comforting smell of her shampoo.

It was a paradox because, yes, there had been a choice to be made and he had made it… But at the same time, he could never have chosen differently.

“Funny, you know…” he snorted without any amusement. “I remember telling Katniss to play the game whatever shape it takes… I remember telling her to do it even if it made her skin crawl… I told her she should do everything she could to keep her people alive…” He shrugged. “Never thought it would be like this.”

He had never pictured himself living in that kind of houses, that kind of life, working for Snow on the side. It wasn’t what he wanted for himself. Not at all.

And Effie knew that very well.

The mansion was too big for them. It always came down to that.

He liked the house. It was old and authentic in a way Capitols couldn’t build despite the pool downstairs and all the latest technological appliances. He liked the house but it was too big and they were both too lost in their new lives.

He hadn’t been the only busy one. Effie was working her ass off for her new collection. She was always making trips back and forth to the city or inviting people over to talk about clothes, fabrics and targets. He had grown used to stylists, models and various people staying over for dinner or spending the afternoon locked in the room she had turned into her home workshop. Sometimes he humored her by joining them for a few minutes, more often he kept his distance from that part of her life.

Her collection would be ready for the spring fashion week, he had no doubts about her success – although why they called that a spring fashion week when all the clothes seemed to be winter related was puzzling to him – but Effie was frantic about deadlines, schedules and possible delays. She was all over the place but she also was in high spirits, thriving in her new job, happy in her new role.

She laughed and beamed and could talk his ear off about her day every night. He wasn’t very interested in what she did for a living but he liked watching her when she was that animated. He liked seeing her happy.

“It will settle.” she promised soothingly. “Everything will fall into place eventually.”

“Yeah…” he lied.

He was a little scared she was right. He would get used to this life, make do with it. He would get used to her ridiculous colleagues, employees and friends coming over. He would get used to the parties she would insist on throwing – the housewarming party alone had been such a smash it had warranted the front page of ten gossip magazines. He would get used to hiding in the library or in the garden when he got tired of their guests – and it was the good thing with having such a big house, he figured, he wasn’t forced to be in contact with anyone she brought over if he didn’t want to. He would get used to opulence. He would…

He would soon forget what it was like to feel the biting cold when electricity gave in because Twelve’s generators were unreliable and there was no more heating or when they ran out of things to burn in the fireplace. He would soon forget what it felt like to go hungry. He would soon forget the fear of spotting a squad of Peacekeepers at the end of the street. He would soon forget about the coal dust thick in the air that made you cough with every breath. He would…

Her lips crashed on his, hard and demanding, and he opened his mouth for her, letting her push him against the wall. A few buttons flew without him being able to tell if it was his shirt or her dress that had suffered the damage. Not that it mattered.

He had killed a woman that day, a good woman, maybe not with his hands but the logistics didn’t really count in his opinion.

He had killed too many people as it was.

And he was settling for a life he had never thought was meant for him.

Her fingers traveled all over his chest, lingering on scars, her tongue was battling with his in a fight for a control he was reluctant to hand over. Her hand tangled in his hair, tugged his head back forcefully and he could only groan when she sank her teeth in his offered throat.

It sent a chill through his body. His blood ran south.

It was the last straw though.

She yelped when he pushed her back. Confusion flashed on her face but it soon disappeared when he shoved her against the closest bookshelf and tore the dress off her with no regard whatsoever for the fact she might have wanted to keep it in one piece.

“Haymitch…” she breathed out when he squeezed her breast.

He swallowed her whimper with a kiss when he twisted her nipple.

Their remaining clothes flew off, hands roamed over naked skin… He had his fingers deep inside her and she was threatening to fall apart when he spotted the leather armchair a few feet away. He grabbed her under the thighs and while she whined at being suddenly empty she locked her legs around his waist without needing any prompting from him.

She seemed a little surprised when he carried her away from the bookshelf but when he sank in the armchair, she adjusted quickly, slipping her legs through the holes under the armrests, guiding him into her swiftly.

They paused for a moment, chests pressed tight together, cheek to cheek, as close as was humanly possible. Her breathing was short and he could feel her every exhale against his ear. His hands were spread at the small of her back, his golden bangle probably digging into her skin.

“I love you.” she mumbled.

“Then, move.” he muttered right back, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against her shoulder.

She chuckled. “Always the romantic.”

He snorted and opened his mouth, intending to get the last word, always intending to get the last word, but the retort died on his tongue when she actually started to rock her hips. It was slow and controlled, it had to be given their position, and it left his mind a blank slate.

Truth be told, it was a relief.

There was no room in his head for anything that wasn’t her warmth cradling him, the slippery feel of their sweaty skins rubbing together, the taste of her strawberry lipstick, the small gasps that left her mouth in the middle of a kiss and the slight pain of her fingers accidentally tugging on his hair.

She kept that slow torturous pace as long as she could but it turned a little frantic eventually and he slipped his hand between their bodies without thinking twice about it, instinctively tightening the arm wrapped around her back so she wouldn’t fall. Watching her come apart was the best sight he had ever seen and, if given a choice, it was the last thing he wanted to see before he died.

It took her a couple of minutes to recover and start moving again but between her clenching and her dazed fucked-out-of-her-brains look, it didn’t take him half as long to come. His head dropped back, mouth half open in what must have been her name, blood rushed in his ears…

For a glorious moment, all he could hear was the beating of his heart.

Neither of them talked for a long time after that. They remained where they were, flushed tight against each other, her cheek resting on his shoulder, his arms holding her secure…

“You make me feel alive.” he confessed in something that was barely more than a murmur.

It wasn’t a secret. Not really. She knew him too well not to know how dead he felt most days.

“You make me feel important.” she whispered after a second of consideration. “As if I were your whole world.”

“Sometimes you are.” he shrugged.

Her hand cupped his cheek, nudged his head in her direction… She kissed him as if he was oxygen, as if she needed him to survive…

And maybe that was it.

Maybe it was just that simple.

They were two fucked-up people who had done ugly things – him more than her – but they were also survivors who needed each other to make it through. And because they were aware of that, because they were aware the other needed them to keep breathing, they would survive whatever the cost.

Because they loved the other too much to risk them giving up.

[yetanotheremptypage]

Happy Fanfiction Writers Appreciation Day!

It’s another fic rec list! Here’s last years, which includes a link to my 2016 recommendations. They are all amazing, so you should definitely check them out, but in the mean time, here’s some more. I tried to tag most of the ships and/or fandoms, so if you ship any of those or are in the fandom, check out the recs below the cut. Of course, there are plenty more amazing fanfictions/writers out there, and to them, I give a huge THANK YOU! Finally, for the shameless plug, if you have any interest in any of my stories, links can be found here.

Arms Extended (Gen, Bandstand) AO3 [Complete]

a remix of “welcome home (finale)”

(or: the moments that inspired the lines of julia's poem)

Bandstand on the whole deserves more love, attention, and fanfiction, especially because the relationship these people build is so beautiful and there’s so much to be explored. This fic does it BEAUTIFULLY, and I can’t stress it enough. TW: I mean it’s Bandstand so anything that applies there applies here

Cut, Print, Moving On (Gen, Smash) AO3 || FF [In progress]

An imagined third season, starting approximately two years after the Tony Awards.

This fic is perfectly written and explores all of Smash’s complicated, messy, great relationships, romantic and otherwise, beautifully.

Epic Love (Han x Leia, Star Wars) AO3 || FF [Complete]

Here is what is believed: that Leia Organa has been abandoned by her husband and her brother, the two men who loved her best, in her time of greatest need. But things are not always as they seem. A TFA fix-it fic about family, the Force, and the love that could save the galaxy. Again. Also features Luke, Chewbacca, Rey, Finn, and mentions or cameos by several others.

I love the new Star Wars movies, I do. But this fic treats Han, Leia, and Luke so much better than TFA does. Please go read this pure perfection of a work and give it all the love it deserves. While you’re at it, check out... Everything else @lajulie24 has written; it’s all golden.

Everything I Never Knew (Emmett x Rosalie, Twilight) AO3 || FF [Complete]

Because sometimes a split second decision changes a life… One night, Rosalie Hale walked a different way home. Because of this, she didn’t meet Royce on the road and the worst night of Rosalie’s life happened to someone else. So what happened when Rosalie was never hurt, never turned vampire, and got everything she had always thought she wanted?

I love a good AU, and Rosalie and Emmett seem the best suited for one. Their connection is amazing and well-written and honestly, everything makes sense to me. I lowkey wish things could have played out this way for them, but alas, they didn’t, so let’s read fic instead. TW: Spousal abuse, bear attack so like blood and stuff

hey baby (i think i wanna marry you) (Donna x Josh, The West Wing) FF [Complete]

Josh goes to dinner with his old law school study group. He ends up defending the institution of marriage, before going home to Donna. Set in the Santos administration.

It’s just such a cute, fluffy little piece. How could I not, you know?

in a storm in my best dress (Percy x Annabeth, Percy Jackson and the Olympians) AO3 || FF [Complete]

"Point is, Percy's not used to being swamped in friends. So you can bloody well imagine his shock when he wakes up one morning and looks impulsively at his arm and there’s one, two, three, four, five, six, seven Marks on his line and holy crap the seventh is a soulmate mark."

or, Percy finds it difficult to make friends and Annabeth is the popular girl with a heart of steel. Soulmate AU.

Not gonna lie, this is a behemoth-- two chapters that come out at like 70k which like, damn, most of my one-shots aren’t even 1500 words, you get props for that alone. However, every word is perfect. There’s lot of pining, and hey, Percy Jackson with anxiety? Works. I saw my own anxiety reflected all over the place which... Was not the main reason I fell in love with this fic, but it’s nice to be recognized, you know? No, I fell in love with this fic because it’s about falling in love and making friends and growing up. And it’s beautiful, so go read it. TW: Anxiety attacks (Is that a tw? Oh well)

Miracles, etc. (Wanda Maximoff x Vision, Marvel Cinematic Universe) AO3 [In progress]

Wanda Maximoff’s life has been a set of frightening miracles: living in a war torn country as an orphan, escaping her anarchistic biological father, and surviving the American foster system with seven older foster siblings. Now 26 and working as a hotel waitress, Wanda has very distant plans for love and for a child. Unfortunately, her complicated life is about to get more complicated when a medical mix-up leaves her artificially inseminated with a stranger’s sperm. That stranger? Her boss, with an equally dark past.

Now pregnant- and possibly falling in love- Wanda finds herself with only nine months to rethink her entire future. Because the only thing more frightening than a miracle… is parenthood.

Did you know that a Jane The Virgin AU is EXACTLY everything you ever needed for this fandom, and specifically this pairing? My depression is cured, my skin is clear, and my crops are thriving, especially now that there’s new chapters again. Read this fic, please. It will not disappoint, especially if you enjoy JTV’s tongue-in-cheek style humor. Also dad!Clint.

My Beauty, My Baby (Gen, Downton Abbey) FF [Complete]

Cora and Sybil share a moment on the eve of the birth of Sybil and Tom's child. This story takes place in Season 3, sometime between Episodes 4 and 5. This is a bit of a departure for me, but the title words were an inspiration.

This is just so lovely. Sybil and Cora’s relationship is, I feel, kind of unexplored, so this was such a lovely treat.

people can surprise you (or not) (Anya x Dmitry, Anastasia) AO3 [Complete]

He's a poor joke of a journalist, she has something to prove to her family, and they're in here for a hell of a ride.

(“You’re asking me to be an asshole to some random woman just to prove a very sexist and offensive point like I’m some guy on Reddit who has no idea women are actually people?”)

(“Next Wednesday. I bet you can’t find a guy tonight, in this bar, and keep him until next Wednesday. Prove me wrong and introduce him to Nana during the gala. As your boyfriend.”)

OR, the reversed How to lose a guy in 10 days AU nobody asked, but everybody gets.

Angst, fluff, pining, misunderstandings, this has got it ALL. And it’s written flawlessly to boot.

Take Me Back To Me (Mary x Matthew, Downton Abbey) AO3 || FF [Complete]

When heiress Mary Crawley finds herself in the headlines for her third scandal of the year, Cora decides that it is time for Mary to turn her public image around. The solution? Hire humanitarian lawyer Matthew Crawley, whose new charity just happens to need a new donation, to play Mary’s boyfriend. (Modern Mary/Matthew!Fake Dating AU)

Were you aware you needed a modern fake dating AU for these two? No. But you do. It cleanses the soul with its perfectness. Go read it. TW: Descriptions of past not quite rape but I think it’s still classified as sexual assault

The Only Crime Is To Lose (Gen, Game of Thrones) AO3 [I think in-progress?]

The series doesn’t have a description, so here’s my attempt at one: The major houses of Westeros are crime families at war. This author expertly adapts the plotting and relationships into this scenario, which takes place after the Red Wedding-- which, in this world, involved Robb getting arrested and put away for life-- and most of the action surrounds the kidnapping of Jaime Lannister, though no one knows who did it. I’m not actually certain if this series is finished or not, but it leaves me reeling from unanswered questions and its overall beauty every time I finish the last story, so you should check it out so we can all share the pain. TW: I mean it’s Game of Thrones so like a lot of that stuff still applies

Treading Water (Annie x Finnick, The Hunger Games) AO3 || FF [Complete]

They don't tell you when you go into the arena that the lucky ones are those who die.

I don’t think I can state enough how amazing this fic is. The beautiful relationship between Finnick and Annie, the breathtaking way Catching Fire is woven into the story, and seeing the Games from the mentor’s perspective is fascinating. Go read this fic! TW: It’s the Hunger Games so anything from the books applies

we got the world (Jesse x Beca, Pitch Perfect) AO3 || FF [Complete]

"They say you're a freak when we're having fun, say you must be high when we're spreading love, but we're just living life and we never stop, we've got the world." Beca/Jesse, post-Kennedy Center flop. A series of missing Jeca moments from Pitch Perfect 2. COMPLETE.

Did you wish there had been more Jeca in Pitch Perfect 2? Then read this fic. It’s perfect in every way. (Written before PP3 though, so not canon compliant for that).

Willow (Anya x Dmitry, Anastasia) AO3 [In progress]

In a city by the sea, Anya and Dmitry find their footing.

Beautiful, happy Dimya, plus dashes of you know, revolution and angst and history. It’s gorgeous and perfect and go read it.

[bloodspeckledraphael]

So since I've started spending more time at my sister's for a change of scenery that unfortunately means that I've been spending more time with my sister's mother in law when she comes to visit on the same days (we'll call her K so I don't have to repeat that over and over).

Now I have nothing much against K I mean she includes me in family stuff and all which is cool, made me feel welcome when we moved back to NZ and she's kinda injured herself like I have at the moment (though it was before me, she's in a moonboot and has reinjured herself since her original fall).

But she's one of those people who always has something negative to say about whatever topic that appears. And if not that she's telling stories of her supposedly perfect son (my bro in law) or her perfect daughter (whose actually a stripper but K is in the dark about since she lives in Oz) which she has told multiple times before.

But it's her negativity, overly opinionated attitude and racism that gets to me everytime. She's always cursing someone out for no reason, appearing like she is the victim and criticizing my sister & bro in law's life even though it is just that their life. She makes snarky remarks about how mum looks after my niece even though she only sees her once a week while mum sees her all the time and then wonders why my niece doesn't interact with her as much.

She keeps telling my sister and bro in law they should move to her suburb to be closer to her though they only moved to their current house last year and even if they did she still wouldn't see more of my niece since my sister doesn't trust K to look after her constantly like she does our mum. That's down to how to she talks to my niece about her size or telling her off for crying or tantrums (come on she's only 18 mths ffs!)

She doesn't seem to care that it's not practical for my sister who works in the city (when she has to go into the office) or for my mum who would still have to drive to theirs every day putting more time on her commute.

It's like no matter what happens she doesn't care as long as she has her way but my sister is getting sick of it. The bro in law always tells her it isn't going to happen or dissuades her opinions often leading to an argument between them which see to be the norm even though like I say it is their life not hers.

Same with parenting she criticises their parenting methods when like I say my niece is their child not hers. Sure they may do things differently to how you used to do them thirty odd years ago but things have changed and as long as she's happy, healthy, learning and thriving that's all that matters. They, as well as me and our parents, make sure she wants for nothing.

Then K plays the poor me card and sulks when she wants to get my niece something for an occasion but someone else already has it. She spends ridiculous amounts of money on her as though buying my niece's love makes up for lack of time she sees her when it really doesn't.

And honestly less said about her racism the better, it makes me cringe everytime the way she addresses poc and indigenous people etc in generalized terms often using racist terms that went out of fashion to any self respecting society in the 90's. And yet I'm me and hate confrontation tho I know Mum and my sister feel the same way so though I know I should be a good ally and say something can you really talk someone 60+ out of using such derogatory language like the N word?

All I know is that I can bet without a shadow of a doubt that when my niece starts talking she'll pick up curse words from K if she doesn't stop with that kind of language around her.

I just...can't deal with her sometimes. It's a blessing when I can go to theirs and K isn't there. When I can have a day where there's no negative vibes, cursing and criticizing....just watching my niece run around like the energizer bunny withoit a care in the world and learning with mum.

Yes this was just a rant but I needed it off my chest otherwise I know I'd explode and though I'm on the fence about her the last thing I ever want to do is insult her. No matter how I feel she is family after all....🙄

[doneses]

Final Fantasy Influences in RWBY

So it’s no secret that Monty Oum was a huge fan of the Final Fantasy series. As someone who’s also a huge fan of the series I thought it’d be fun to explore a lot of the things I think RWBY drew inspiration from. There’s not really much of an order to this, just various things I’ve noticed. This is also just my opinion on things so don’t take it too seriously. (I won’t be including stuff from FF15 since that was not out yet at the time RWBY was started and the stuff similar to it are most likely coincidence.I’m also only counting the stuff from the core series as those are the ones I am the most familiar with.)

Gardens/Seed- Academy/Huntsmen & Huntresses

In both FF8, and in RWBY, the main characters start their journeys at an academy that specializes in the training of powerful mercenaries: SeeD and Hunters. They have a similar age range (15-19 in FF8. 17-21 in RWBY), and both schools have rigorous and dangerous exams that the main characters have to survive and pass in the beginning of the story. They both also have a dance in the relatively beginning of the story. They also both have a uniform that the characters wear on occasion.

Shinra Electric Power Company- Schnee Dust Company

Now I actually noticed something neat that I never noticed with Shinra, that they can be abbreviated to SEC, similar to how the Schnee Dust Company is commonly abbreviated to SDC.

In both RWBY and FF7, these two companies are powerful and villainous and have made their fortunes by mining a natural resource that is used for fuel, and to give people magical abilities. Both the SDC and SEC engage in military action (Turks and SOLDIER with the SEC and providing/developing mechs for the Atlesian military for the SDC), and experimenting on monsters (the Armored Gigas in the White trailer being a Geist Grimm experiment according to the manga).

Materia- Dust

It’s a naturally occurring resource in the world that is used to give the characters magical abilities and is crystalline in design. Materia is name dropped by Monty when explaining what Dust is.

AVALANCHE- White Fang

A terrorist group with a white and red banner that has a history of warfare with the evil megacompany of their worlds. Main characters from both series are members (or former) members of the group, and both had/have a large burly man as their leader. Only major difference is AVALANCHE is an eco-terrorist group and presented as heroes while the White Fang are a racial terrorist group and presented as villains.

Crystals- Relics

Four powerful macguffins that the protagonists and antagonists are both after that can give them a ton of power and can change the world.

Al Bhed/Viera- Faunus

Al Bhed are a minority group who face persecution and have a unique genetic trait. In FF10 and in RWBY one of the main characters is secretly of this ethnic group and has to deal with racist behavior from one of their team mates.

Viera are literally bunny girls. While the al bhed have more in common with the faunus in story, the viera are closer in appearance.

Summoning- Schnee Semblence

Now there are a lot of Summoners in FF but Monty was known for his love of FF10 and of Yuna and I think that’s who’s summoning ability Weiss’ abilities are based off of. Yuna is capable of summoning dead spirits that take the form of Aeons and uses them in battle. Weiss, and other Schnees, can summon enemies that they have killed and have them aid in combat. Yuna’s summoning and Weiss’ also seem a lot more of a closer bond then say, Rydia or Eiko’s  were or the ones were summoning is just a job class.

Aerith’s Death- Pyrrha’s Death

An extremely shocking and brutal death scene of a beloved female character that is used to spur the protagonists to action and kick start the larger segments of the story.

Sin-  Ancient Grimm

Not a lot of similarities, other then they ‘shed‘ smaller enemies and are huge and capable of decimating cities if they want to.

Uncomfortable Laughing Scene

Yeeeeeaaaah, those scenes are cringey. I took from it that Ruby was struggling to keep her composure at seeing something that reminded her of Pyrrha after watching her die and started to laugh obnoxiously to cover up her issues, similar to how Tidus had his uncomfortable laughing scene to cope with his own issues. Or maybe that Ruby scene was meant to be funny and bunny jackets are hilarious, who knows.

Auron- Qrow

Red and gray color scheme, drunks, and a father figure to the main character, alongside using a similar weapon as the character they watch over.

Tifa- Yang

A bare knuckle brawler who’s a childhood friend of the main protagonist, is the team mom, and objectively considered the ‘prettiest‘ character of the main cast. Both are also fans of butt capes, given Yang’s timeskip outfit and Tifa’s Advent Children outfit.

Kefka- Tyrian

Now this one’s a bit of stretch and I really hope they don’t pull a Kefka with Tyrian late on in the story but here we go.

They’re both the insane right hand of the (apparent) big bad of the story, both have a flair for the dramatics (Tyrian’s theatrical behavior during his fight scene and well, just look at Kefka). Both also have an insane laugh and boy do they like to laugh.

Quistis- Glynda

A blonde, glasses wearing combat instructor at a school for specialized mercenaries. Both wield a bdsm style weapon (whip/riding crop) and are proficient mages.

Zidane- Sun

A blonde monkey man who breaks the law a lot, has a sunny personality, and fights alongside a dark haired princess.

Ruby- Iris

Now I said I wasn’t going to bring up FF15 but this is a unique case. I think this is an instance of RWBY serving as inspiration for FF.

FF15 was in production between 2006-2016. Red Trailer came out in 2012, with Vol1 coming out in 2013. RWBY is very popular in Japan, and I don’t know if there is a way to learn when Iris was added to the game’s production.

Iris is the younger sister of the stronk fanservice character of the game, wears black and red, has a red hood, short black hair, is 15 years old, and grows up to be a famous Hunter; a daemon slayer after the time skip. She’s cheery and happy, and has an interest in mechanical things (her fascination with Lestallum and how it’s maintained). Iris is a hopeless romantic and fights with her fists.

Ruby is the younger sister of the stronk fanservice character of the show, wears black and red, has a red hood, short black hair, is 15 years old, and dreams of being a Huntress; a Grimm slayer. She’s happy and bubbly, and is mechanically inclined, alongside loving weaponry. Ruby doesn’t have an interest in romance and can’t fight without a weapon.

Weaponry

Weiss literally uses a gunblade, and Raven has an odachi. But other then that, most of the weapons in RWBY line up more with Lightning’s style of weaponry in FF13; a melee weapon that transforms and can take a gun form and also collapse for easier storage.

Costumes

Both FF and RWBY thrive on amazing looking costumes that are hella impractical and use way too many belts for a rl person to wear. But damn do they not look amazing.

Setting

Both RWBY and (most) FF have a science fantasy setting, with continents that look really silly.

Soundtrack

Both RWBY and FF love their hard rock and piano’s, and have amazing scores and soundtracks.

Fight Choreography

Saying Advent Children was a big influence on Monty would be an understatement. RWBY’s fight scenes are fast paced, hectic, and make gravity and the laws of physics its bitch. This is hard to explain in written format, so I’d recommend watching a fight scene from Advent Children and then compare it to one from RWBY to see what I mean.

Light v Dark Themes

Recurring theme in a lot of the older FF games, the forces of Light against the forces of Darkness. RWBY has the Light and Darkness Brother Gods myth, and they will most likely play a larger role in the future.

Party of Four

FF games traditionally have 4 (or 3) party members and oh hey would you look at that, RWBY has 4 members. Iirc Monty also said he based the team’s fighting styles off of his preferred rpg team line up. (If anyone has figured out what class Ruby is, let me know ^^)

Strong female characters

I think it’d be easier to name FF female characters who aren’t strong in their own ways. And the entire premise of RWBY is four strong women living their lives and stopping evil, alongside the slew of other notable female characters in the show.

Moon

The moon plays an important role in the stories of FF4 and FF8, and although the moon hasn’t done anything of plot importance, the fact it’s shown so frequently in scenes and is a prominent image in RWBY (alongside how its brought up space travel is still being developed in Remnant) I’m pretty sure it will play an important role in the future.

Parent Issues

A lot of the characters in FF have really bad parents, parent issues, or are orphans. A lot of the important characters in RWBY have really terrible parents, and their issues with their parents playing a role in each member of Team RWBY’s personal storylines. Jecht and Tidus’ relationship being the most famous example from FF of a strained child-parent relationship, and given Yang’s obsession and hatred of Raven, it seems the most likely place of inspiration (alongside Raven and Jecht being antagonists and being involved in the Deeper Lore of their respective universes, and of being members of a team with the parents of one of the other main characters).

So yeah, those are my thoughts about all the stuff I‘ve noticed in RWBY that could have been inspired by Final Fantasy. Hope you enjoyed reading this ^^.

RWBY FF style poster done by digitaleva- https://digitaleva.deviantart.com/

[sunset-wishes-upon-hill]

Name (Kuroshitsuji - Sebastian x Yuri) (Christmas one-shot)

Spin-off to The Liars and The Soothsayer: FF I Wattpad

The whole London was cloaked in pure white, excitement tangible in the air as the Christmas bell rang throughout the bustling, crowded city street. The smell of the turkey, trimmings and sweet desserts lingered in the air. Eager children accompanied their parents, wrapped presents held under their arms. London thrived in festive mood; the usually dark, grey city has never been livelier and more colourful.

He’s unnerved, Yuri noted scrutinising his stiff, mechanical movements shifting through the company documents that needed to be approved and signed. She wanted to believe he was simply stressed and exhausted by the sheer workload he had to inspect and review – after all, no company will be more busier than a toy company during Christmas. Despite her own logical speculation, certain part of her nagging mind was prompting otherwise. Even with the lavishly decorated Christmas tree, umpteen wrapped gifts of all size and shapes, and the ménage’s anticipation of year’s end and start of brand new beginning, the air he carried was awful, tense and full of resentment.

21st century London never snowed. The wintery scenes was breathtakingly beautiful; she imagined filling the frozen pond with skating woodland creatures, a magical winter ball with dancing mice and a sleigh ride with polar bears. Everything that made Christmas the magical day people made it out to be seemed to be there. It was the first time Christmas day felt like Christmas rather than just a 25th December on the calendar. Had she been back in her time, she wouldn’t have been able to spend it the way she would have liked. Christmas weeks paid double the amount than she received and it was money she couldn’t afford to pass her and that went for her mum too. Christmas was never a special day for her. There was no gift exchanged, no putting up Christmas tree, no Christmas dinner except for maybe a nice dessert she might splash out on – it was always a 25th December.

“You’ll catch a cold.” A voice said beside her.

Yuri jumped, startled by Sebastian’s sudden appearance. She hadn’t heard him approach. His eyes remained on her bare feet, part submerged in the snow.

“I always wanted to do this.” She sheepishly admitted. How comical it must be for a nearly adult woman wanting to do something as childish as going bare foot in snow.

“Is this…beautiful to you?” He suddenly asked to her surprise.

“Yes. I don’t see snow often.” She said, “You don’t think so?”

“I’ve seen countless snows in my lifetime. In the end, it will melt and change into dirty mud; what’s so beautiful about it?” Sebastian stated, watching the tiny snowflakes fall and seep into the mass on the ground.

That was then she decided to turn her gaze to him. Her reflection held in his dark, pitless eyes yet she wondered if he truly were looking at her. He breathed, moved, bled and his heart beat in his chest like her and many would, without suspicion, accept him as anything but a man. His character as a butler was flawless – perfect, deserving of standing ovation, although his façade as a man was horribly inept and forced. His speech, truly appropriate in any given situations; gestures that would label him as ideal gentleman of the era turned into a fiasco by his mismatching expressions and stoic tone as though an actor impeccably reciting a script and simply believing it was good enough without understanding the power of words weren’t a straightforward notion of conveying those words in the right time and place and the people.

He reminded her of a child. A baby. A tabula rasa*. Experienced and inexperienced. Knew and not understood. Alive but not lived.

“For someone who’s been alive for a long time, experienced and witnessed things beyond what anyone could imagine – none of it was ever reflected in your eyes.” Yuri summed. A semi chastise and semi disappointment.

She didn’t know what to feel for this..man. This demon. It was likely he won’t see her reason for sadness, this empathetic pity. He won’t understand why she spoke of it as if he was missing something as vital as his life and he was blind to it. He won’t know why the snow should be beautiful. Why his privation was something to be so heart-rending. But that’s why it was so tragic, wasn’t it? A man could have a taste of something blissful and lose it and be equally tragic. What soothed it was the fact he knew it was tragic and would probably try to gain it back somehow whether it was through revenge or forgiveness. The man who never had it and could not see his own tragic existence, would always feel empty, she supposed. Always thirsty and hungry for something they could not fill with tedious things like money.  

“Dirty things can be beautiful.” Yuri told him.

“…Then do you think I’m beautiful?” He cautiously asked her. The question surprised her. Surprised him. An impromptu. He was rarely so impulsive. More so on seeking out others’ sentiment of him. He has never once cared for such trivial sort.

“You think you’re ugly?” Yuri blinked, unable to understand how someone who could clearly distinguish and know – at least – physical aesthetic would consider himself unsightly.

“My original form is hideous.” He revealed blatantly, his voice flat as though he was reading out a list on the menu.

“I think you’re alright.” Yuri said after a thoughtful pause.

Darkness. The white world defiled in suffocating, icy darkness. She could feel something crawling on her skin. Underneath it. The spine chilling sound vibrated in the air; sound of million insects chewing at her skin, bones and flesh and quivering their wings. There was no pain yet she couldn’t help but scratch and claw her body to thwart it off her. Her mouth gaped in silent scream. She could imagine beetles and maggots chewing down her body, magnified chittery background grinding, merging into a drone that rose and fell.

A footstep. The staccato beat of heel echoing in the darkness to the rhythm of insects buzz. It was accompanied by a foul, rotting smell that made her want to retch. Something was decomposing. She couldn’t quite describe what she saw of Sebastian’s true form.

Black feathers. Nails like eagles talons. Glowing red eyes. Cold. So cold. So so cold. A living decay.

She was not so naïve to believe in the romanticised vision of demons as some tragically beautiful fallen angels – if Sebastian were even an angel in the first place. After all, the belief fall from grace could be, even at slightest, merciful as to spare angelic beauty was almost laughable; the fall signified shame and perversion of something so sacred and holy, one could only imagine how hideous to see it tainted.

White returned with her voice. Numbing coldness crept up from her bare feet, purple patches forming. She could breathe again. He smelled sweet again. He was beautiful. The only colour in the colourless.

He had given her a glimpse of his true self. The grotesque freak in a circus show behind the glitzy glamorous mask he donned. But just as he intended, this had been a scant coup d'œil. He wanted her to know, if he was dreadfully abhorrent even from this short brief moment, how disgusting would he be wholly bared to the world.

But at least…at least..at the very least, you don’t do what he does. She couldn’t help but ponder. To her, the true demon in her life was her father. He had stolen from her. Her money. Her life. A loving family. Her chance of being a normal teenage girl. Fucked her up.

“..I’ve seen worse.”

Sebastian face remained vacant, emotionless. Her word didn’t seem to have any impact on his belief. He wouldn’t know. Wouldn’t understand the working of her thought. It didn’t matter anyway.

Sebastian, unmoving for a minute then strode across, closing the distance she had made between them before swooping her up to his body. One arm on her back, another underneath the crook of her knees.

“You’re feet are blue.” He commented, nodding toward her exposed legs that had now turned cyanotic from cold. His body radiated usual warmth she didn’t expect.

“You’re really warm for a demon, well at least when you look human.” She noted. His body temperature was higher than an average human, almost feverish to touch, while she was always cold. She liked that about him – the ironic warmth that emitted from the demon.

Something shuffled in her chest, the abrupt movement startling the pair from the serene silence stretched between them. It bopped up and down, slinking up her body before the mystery mound popped out from her décolletage and made itself known to the curious demon.

Its large, sharp eyes blinked up to Sebastian’s stunned gaze and let out a piping meow.

“Oh, seems like she’s not cold anymore.” Yuri smiled, stroking its small head.

Looking up to see his response, she was pleasantly surprised by the red hues in his cheeks as he regarded the tiny little kitten. Who knew a demon had a soft spot for a cat?

“I found her shivering in the snow without its mother around so I think she was abandoned.” Yuri said sadly, “Do you like cats?”

“Yes, I think they are the most beautiful creatures on Earth.” He said with adoration.

“Does Hell have…well animals?”

“We have creatures kept as pets but..” Sebastian hummed, “They are not as..pleasant.”

“How do they look like?” Yuri asked and the more she listened to Sebastian’s in-depth description of the so-called pets, she couldn’t help but imagine the very alien from the movie. She reckoned it was equivalent to a dangerous exotic pet people kept either as living exhibition or status symbol.

They arrived inside the manor and he gently released her from his hold. Yuri quickly caught the kitten before it slipped down her dress.

Stretching out her kitten held arms to him, she offered, “..Do you want to name her?”

Her little trifling suggestion thrown off his guard, while the kitten’s innocent, twinkling eyes stared, waiting.

“You’ve not named her.”

She nodded, “I’ve only just found her. Besides, I’m terrible with names.”

“I’ve never named anything before.” He muttered, perplexed.

“How come?” Yuri frowned, puzzled as to why someone, who lived as long as he did, never came across an opportunity to name anything.

And even he, rare as it may be, seemed at lost in moment such as this. How laughable it was to be dumbstruck to such petty question yet it seemed more baffling than any questions or tasks he had been given in his years of servitude.

“They were the ones who have named me.” He revealed, “And neither of us cared little for other things than what they desired.”

“Ah…” Yuri realised. He was just like a baby. “Then…think of it as a Christmas gift from me. I wasn’t sure what a demon would want for Christmas present seeing you lived for a long time but I guess this is perfect – something you never had.”

He was silent, eyes darting back and forth between the kitten and her, all the while his face never betraying his thought.

“Yuri.”

“Yeah?”

“The kitten’s name is Yuri.”

She stared at him, agape, bewildered by his choice of name. “Are you serious?! Should I bring out a name dictionary? Does the library even have that kind of book?”

“I think it’s a beautiful name.”

Yuri bit down her lip to hold a grin from spreading, albeit horribly and instead forming a crooked smile.

“It’s an alright name,” She shrugged, “But really? Out of all names in the world, you choose that?”

He took the kitten into his arm, holding it close to his chest and cooed, “You like that name, don’t you?”

The kitten meowed in response, receiving a tickle under the chin as reward.

“Gee..and I thought I was terrible with names.”

“Unfortunately, so am I.”

“I can see that.” Yuri grinned, “Merry Christmas, Sebastian.”

“Merry Christmas.” He returned then added, “Yuri.”

The kitten purred, snuggling into Sebastian’s warmth.

*tabula rasa- an absence of preconceived ideas or predetermined goals; a clean slate.

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Excursion Guide: Seoul, South Korea

Seoul’s chaotic crowds and gray concrete skyline can sense each overwhelming and bland. However, the faintest exploration quickly exhibits one among Asia’s coolest towns. Seoul offers up a lifetime’s really worth of discovery and revel in. It’s a metropolis where you could devour like a king and celebration like a college freshman, then recharge in a quiet mountain temple or a 24-hour sauna. It’s a neon-drenched megacity that by no means shuts down, an ancient town wealthy in tradition and the high-tech middle of Asia’s gaming and pop culture. If you may locate what you’re looking for in Seoul, it probably can’t be determined.

South Korea

Southwest airlines

1. The Hongdae Song Scene

The community surrounding Korea’s leading art university is also domestic to the country’s largest underground Tune scene. Hongdae golf equipment like FF and Freebird characteristic local, expat and worldwide bands from all over Northeast Asia, whilst bars like Jebi Dabang host small indicates on intimate hollow-in-the-wall degrees and in hidden basement areas. Hongdae bands test with the whole thing possible—jazz, hardcore, punk, rock, people, even ska. You’re probably to discover a new favorite band or a whole new sound.

2. Gwangjang Marketplace

Korean food is an entity in itself, and a stroll through the sprawling Gwangjang Market affords a difficult-and-fast introduction. Vendors sell mounds of cabbage kimchi, barrels of crimson peppers, bricks of fermented soybean and lumps of evident stingrays. Stalls sell meals, too; Gwangju’s forte is mung bean pancakes. The beans are ground on a stone mill and fried right in front of you. you may also try sundae, a noodle sausage made with pig’s blood, and Ddeokbokki, a dish of rice cakes in red pepper sauce. It’s a Korean consolation food sort of like mac and cheese, only spicy and chewy.

3. Hike

Seoul is described by way of its mountains, and the city has grown up around them. Namsan is a green retreat within the bodily middle of Seoul and offers super perspectives from N Seoul Tower on the pinnacle. Bukhansan National Park is a towering mountain range with no trouble placed within the town’s outer limits—you may virtually get there on the subway. Bukhansan has a complex network of definitely marked trails that climb thru forested slopes, hovering granite peaks and hidden temples.

4. Yongsan e-Sports Stadium

In Korea, gaming is an excessive interest, large commercial enterprise, and a thriving professional game. Seoul’s Yongsan e-Sports Stadium is the center of all of it. This massive complicated is the placing for nearby and international suits of League of Legends, StarCraft and a bunch of other games. matches take vicinity on degrees with giant screens, complete with cheering fans, mascots, and cheerleaders. For e-Sports activities lovers, this is Woodstock and Mecca combined. For everybody else, it’s an entire international you by no means knew existed.

5. Changgyeonggung Palace

Seoul turned into the seat of royal strength at some point of Korea’s long Joseon dynasty (1392-1910), and the town has several palaces as proof. Few of the buildings are unique (most of Seoul’s largely wood background become destroyed with the aid of fires or bombed flat during the Korean Warfare) but they’re devoted reconstructions. Much less visited than the primary palace, Changgyeonggung has lovely buildings with colorfully painted beams, tiled rooftops and ornate decorations. It also has a peaceful park with a Victorian-fashion greenhouse.

6. Bukchon Village

Seoul’s history has mostly been knocked down and remade in concrete and glass. Exploring the wood homes and narrow streets of Bukchon well-known shows what the metropolis would possibly have gave the look of 600 years in the past. Here artisans make soju and rice wine the way, and traditional wooden hook houses were transformed into galleries, cafes and artsy stores. The community is an awesome break from Seoul’s limitless town rush.

Travel Industry – The new Breed of town Excursion Publications

Excursion Courses have lots to bitch approximately. Whether it’s far the accessibility to safe felony convenient select up/ drop off regions, unlicensed Courses running without effects, or a first rate minimum charge of pay this is adhered to by all, you may discover Guides sharing their thoughts and making plans on a way to resolve the court cases.

North Korea

It’s miles interesting to word that one of the direct subjects isn’t always getting lots press. Are neighborhood Publications turning into out of date? I now not speak approximately the vintage debate of Excursion Managers doing the activity of a local Guide. I am speaking approximately something which can have a miles extra effect at the Guiding landscape. Digital Guides. Modern-day town Guide apps for smartphones are gaining in popularity as cellphone utilization grows. they’re cheaper than a stay Excursion Guide. They pause while we need to take a photo. They will ad infinitum repeat themselves if we did now not pay attention the statement over the horns of visitors. they may be by no means overlooked and are to be had precisely when the customers need the records.

Consider in case you, as a Manual, needed to compete with a person who had the one’s traits. it’s far obvious that we would be visible as inferior. but given that this competitor is a set of computer programs, we hold the only key gain, we’re alive. Not anything can beat a stay, exciting, informed, expert neighborhood Guide displaying you around his or her loved metropolis. Or can it?

Brand new Electronic city Guides are GPS based totally and routinely let you know all approximately your modern region. They permit you to peer and keep a map of your Tour, add photos, Journey movies, and notes. All of this may then be at once shared with pals thru social media. you may also plan out your own customized Excursion primarily based upon your health stage, precise dates, and interests or download one of the developing wide variety of satisfactory tours directly to your iPad. If you have a question that isn’t always a part of your Electronic Tour, you may pause it, then Google your question. Do you want tips as to which cafe inside the rectangular has the satisfactory cappuccino? Of course, you may ask your stay Excursion Guide. Otherwise, an online cafe search will yield ratings with remarks left by your fellow tourists. Did I mention that the sort of seeking might also yield coupons or unique gives?

An Electronic city Manual is some other avenue to satisfy a travelers hunger for knowledge. These apps are increasingly more turning into integrated with the mechanics of journeying. These days, if we want to recognize a training agenda, or beginning time of a museum, or what are the museum’s special exhibits, we turn to our smart telephones. So it’s far herbal that an Industry has sprung as much as assist Guide the modern-day vacationer. One interesting a part of this new Enterprise is that a number of the first-rate journeying apps are tours created via those experts with the pleasant information, specifically, local Courses.

There are many possibilities that may come approximately from Courses sharing their understanding to create a metropolis Manual app. These range from commissions to branding rights. local Courses would possibly make a few hundred bucks visiting a set at the same time as concurrent incomes some other few hundred or thousand from the download commissions of all the one’s travelers traveling around paying attention to them on an iPhone. whilst all towns have guiding apps, then the competition over which app is higher for the consumer honestly heats up. App vendors might also tout the credentials of the creator of the Excursion, with links to the Excursion Manual’s website. Or apps might also discover their data from nearby college professors or armchair Tour Publications. Masses of lots of those excursions are already being downloaded month-to-month in cities around the arena. This will only boom as the town Manual app Industry evolves and further integrates itself into the hand, thoughts, and wallet of vacationers. What position does the professional Tour Guide play in this developing Industry? Will the Excursion Courses of the destiny be complaining that the information inside the apps came from amateurs? Or can we use our percentage our information and see this as a revenue making opportunity?

Guidestar

In case you do now not understand what’s coming, then you are destined to react to the results of a state of affairs. My recommendation is to apprehend how the competitive landscape is converting and plan in your personal success. this is simply one small topic being included in my lecture “Guiding within the Digital Age”. if you can not make it to the world Manual Summit to pay attention it lives, you may of route watch the video of my lecture for your smart telephone. however be forewarned, I will only be answering questions from those in attendance. There nevertheless is an advantage to interacting to a stay Guide.