#a startled stoat

[pippin-katz]

“You look like a startled stoat.” - Arthur Pendragon to Merlin, 3x05: The Crystal Cave

He says it as an insult, and Merlin reacts like it’s an insult. I have to say, it’s a pretty shit insult considering what a stoat is.

This is was a stoat looks like to those who don’t know:

Yes Arthur, you roasted him so good! He’s clearly so ugly and stupid looking for you to compare him to this disgusting creature! Just look at how hideous it is!

ADDITION FROM LOOKING AT REBLOGS/COMMENTS: I have been blessed with the perfect pictures to compare Merlin and the stoat. Behold!

[wistfulvulpine]

gay idiot doodles

[brittlebutch]

it's actually so fascinating to me that Brennan has created a character that maintains a pretty relaxed and mild-mannered demeanor and has said multiple times that the absolute Core of her is "FEAR" and how often we see this Fear manifest specifically in Avoidance; it really nails a relationship to that mentality where your brain fully Stops recognizing the emotion properly out of like, sheer self-defense from the stress of having to carry it all the time

I think this is also perfectly showcased in the way we tend to see Tula swing so suddenly from 'level and steady' to 'snarling Panic' and then back again - Just because your brain has detached itself from the Conscious Recognition of the emotion doesn't mean it can Actually stop itself from experiencing it. So the Fear is always there and always acting as a stressor, but because of that inability to Identify it there's no way to recognize or address it before that final straw hits and your bodymind jumps Straight into Full Meltdown Mode; but then once again, once you drop even a Little bit below that Peak Terror your brain ceases to process the emotion; it's like the most exhausting form of Poor Object Permanence in the world

And even if Tula is aware of this happening to her, that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with / address. Even if you're able to spot the symptoms Around the emotion -- chest pain, irritation, nausea, whatever -- because the Emotion Itself is basically impossible to find, you can't really Successfully Pin Down what the problem is OR a way to cope with it. If you can't figure out That You Are Anxious, then figuring out What Is Making You Anxious is impossible, which makes Find A Way To Make Peace With That incomprehensible. That's where the Avoidance comes in: you can no longer identify what might be a Dangerous Situation, which means that Anything New has a big potential to be Really Bad in a variety of ways (ranging "I don't Feel Good" to "Fully Lashing Out bc you've entered Fight/Flight and can't get out of it" to "Actual Outside Danger This Time") and that means the Only Way you know how to be Safe is to just Avoid Doing Anything New and Only stick to Familiar Situations, because anything unfamiliar is a monster of a gamble you don't know how to prepare for or cope with

[thegreymoon]

I know what a stoat is because I'm a Merlin fan:

(gif by @lighthouse-on-the-sea)

My mom and I roasted my dad so hard for not knowing what a stoat is, only to find out later that my mom's students also did not know what a stoat is. I'm losing my mind. There are stoats around where we live I do not understand how this has happened

[corvidaemnit]

let’s talk about the kiwi!!

(an info-dump about one of the weirdest, most scientifically interesting birds we know of today!)

so, we’ve all heard about ratites, right?

well, maybe you don’t know them by name, but you’ve most certainly either heard about them or seen them at some point.

some commonly known members of the ratite group are species like ostriches, emus, and cassowaries— as shown below:

ratites are all flightless birds within the infraclass palaeognathae— the infraclass that none other than the (now extinct) moa and elephant bird belong to!

now, these birds all share very similar characteristics; they’re large, long-necked, and long-legged with big clawed feet. all of these birds are also diurnal— which means they’re primarily active during the day time, just like us!

however, there is one species in this infraclass that is not quite like the others..

the kiwi.

not only are kiwi significantly smaller than their fellow ratites, but they also happen to be nocturnal.

and despite being small, their eggs are incredibly large, taking up to around 20% of the kiwi’s body weight, which has caused a lot of rigorous debate between scientists on exactly why.

one outdated theory suggested that perhaps the kiwi had shrunk over time from previously being very large like its ratite relatives, while its egg remained big…. but this has been debunked in recent years.

the current consensus, while still a theory, is that the egg size has to do more with precocity than anything else;

kiwis are born precocial, which makes them pretty much immediately independent upon hatching, with the ability to run and feed themselves without the help of their parents.

modern DNA analysis suggests that the size of kiwi eggs is not just a left-over trait from ‘incomplete’ evolution, but instead the exact opposite— an evolved adaptation to ensure better chances of survival.

due to their sheer size, kiwi eggs house more yolk than average, which ends up keeping newly hatched kiwis nice and fed until they learn to forage food for themselves.

when mammals began to spread in new zealand, kiwis had way more predators to worry about, and it’s theorized that they were previously unequipped to deal with this startling introduction of land-predators, such as stoats and rats, that started feeding on their eggs.

this could explain why kiwi eggs have developed to be so large over time— they give the chicks plentiful nutrients and thicker shells to ensure a better chance of survival against predation.

so… yeah. kiwis produce monster eggs and no one fully knows why just yet. neat, huh?

and that’s not even where the weirdness ends, my friends!

on top of all of this, it’s been a running joke in the bird world that kiwis are ‘honorary mammals,’ not only because of their weirdly mammalian appearance, but also because of some of their atypical biological traits.

for instance, kiwis have an average body temperature of around 38 degrees celsius .. aka, 100 degrees fahrenheit.

while this is not typical at all for birds, this is very typical for mammals, which has stumped a lot of researchers over the years.

similarly, kiwis are also the only bird in the world with exposed nostrils at the end of their beak, which can help them detect prey by using scent instead of their vision, which is very poor.

so… yeah. kiwis are the nocturnal, freakish little cousins of some of the biggest, most dangerous birds on the planet, and scientists are, quite frankly, still a little weirded out by them.

[mentality-project]

BBC Merlin x Reader - My Startled Stoat

Fandom: BBC Merlin

Pairing: Merlin x Reader

Summary: So, I came across this meme thing on Insta comparing pics of Merlin against stoats and the resemblance was uncanny. And then there was a comment about imagine if there was an episode where Merlin turned himself into a stoat by accident and Gwen and Gaius had to hurry to turn him back. And I said challenge accepted...

——

Merlin would’ve sighed if he could. This wasn’t exactly the result that he had intended. What was he going to do? He certainly couldn’t stay like this...

His ears perked up at the sound of a familiar voice.

“Merlin!” You called out as you walked through the part of the woods that the court physician had sent him to, “Gaius said that he sent you to gather herbs and that you were to return hours ago. Where are you?”

You stumbled as you trod over something, causing you to look down. A basket full of herbs and Merlin’s boots...along with all of Merlin’s clothes. Well, at least you were in the right place. But where on earth was Merlin?

“Merlin?” you called out again, looking around for him.

The sound of rustling cloth drew your attention back down and you got the shock of your life when a stoat popped out of neckline of Merlin’s shirt. The animal scuttled forward and came to a stop in front of you. You blinked down at it, eyebrow raised at the unusually tame behaviour. There was also something about the colouring that struck you. The creamy underbelly and dark brunette fur, coupled along with the eyes. The stoat possessed the most brilliant blue eyes that you had ever seen. You knew those eyes. They were just like -

Wait. No...

Slowly, you lowered yourself down onto one knee, peering closer at the stoat’s face.

“Merlin?” your voice had taken on an incredulous tone.

The stoat bounded forward, placed its paws on your knee and nodded. Your eyebrows nearly shot right off your forehead as you slapped a hand over your mouth.

“Oh my god...”

——

“GAIUS!” you called out as you came charging through the door, basket of herbs in one hand and Merlin’s clothes in the other, “Gaius, help!”

The physician hurried over towards you, worry etched into his face, “What’s wrong? Where’s Merlin?”

You set the clothes and boots down on the bench before placing the basket on the table and reaching inside to thrust the stoat-Merlin in front of you.

“Here.”

Gaius raised his eyebrows, looking back and forth between you and Merlin a couple of times before meeting your eyes. It was only when you nodded firmly, lips pressed together in a straight line that Gaius realised that you weren’t joking.

“Oh, my...quite the predicament.” Gaius remarked with a weary sigh.

You set Merlin down on the table with care before turning back to Gaius.

“What are we going to do?”

Gaius sighed again as he folded is arms across his chest.

“Find some way to undo what has been done, I suppose.” Gaius shot the stoat a disapproving look, “At the very least, I hope that this will be a memorable lesson as to why magic should be practiced with caution.”

Stoat-Merlin had the good grace to bow his head and look ashamed. Gaius pursed his lips before turning his attention back to you.

“I have a few patients to tend to before I can go to the library to see if there’s a book that can help us find a way to turn Merlin back. In the meantime, I suggest looking in the grimoire I passed down to Merlin. No doubt that whatever mischief he’s gotten himself into now came from there.”

You nodded and watched Gaius leave, turning to Merlin once the door was shut.

“Well? Where do you keep this grimoire?”

Merlin bounded to the other end of the table, rearing up on his hind legs to look pointedly at his bedroom door before looking back at you.

“I see...” you pressed your lips together before swallowing, “Let’s go.”

You picked Merlin up off the table before making your way up the stairs. Merlin squirmed out of your arms, paws scrabbling across the floorboards as you hesitated in the doorway. You had never been in Merlin’s room before, let alone the room of any man, for that matter. Just the idea of being in Merlin’s room felt strangely intimate. But what other choice did you have? You exhaled as you crossed the threshold.

“Where do you keep it, Merlin?”

Stoat-Merlin circled around a certain spot, making a scratching sound as he pawed at the floor.

“Hmm...” you hummed as you knelt down, tapping on the wood.

The hollow echo had you raising your eyebrows.

“Right.”

You pressed at the boards, eventually working out how to prise up the lid to the hidden compartment. You set it aside before reaching down to take out what could only be the grimoire wrapped in a linen cloth.

“You really are full of secrets, Merlin.” you murmured as the book was revealed before your eyes.

You moved to sit on the edge of Merlin’s bed, book resting in your lap as you flicked through the pages. Stoat-Merlin moved across the bedsheets in a jittery manner, almost circling you. It must be so frustrating for poor Merlin…he probably knew exactly what page and spell you needed to be looking at, but had no way of being able to communicate that to you. After a few moments you paused in your turning of the pages, sighing in frustration.

“I’m afraid I’m not of much use...I don’t know what I’m meant to be looking for, let alone where to start.”

Stoat-Merlin blinked up at you with his wide blue eyes before nudging your hand with his head. You smiled at the gesture, it was almost as if he were trying to encourage you. You and Merlin continued to stare at each other for a few minutes before you spared a glance at the book only to look back at him.

“Did you want to give it a try? See if you could do a little…you know.”

You wiggled your fingers back and forth between your eyes and the grimoire in a poor imitation of Merlin using his magic. Stoat-Merlin blinked and you weren’t sure whether or not he was thinking about how much of an idiot you were. Stoat-Merlin soon turned his gaze to the book lying open in your lap and continued to surprise you when his eyes suddenly went from blue to gold. You jumped as the pages started to move, almost as if an unseen hand was flicking through them furiously. When the pages finally settled, your sent Merlin a sidelong glance of approval.

“Good job, Merlin.” you smiled as you scratched the top of his head, just behind his ears.

Your smile widened as you watched the stoat close his eyes, seeming to be thoroughly loving the attention. The moment was short-lived when his blue eyes snapped open and he tried to shake his head away. You laughed as you withdrew your hand, more than certain that Merlin was doing the stoat equivalent of pouting.

“Sorry...now, let’s see where it all went wrong...” you murmured as you inspected the spells in front of you, “Oh, look! These pages are stuck together. Guess that’s probably why...oh.”

You trailed off as you leaned closer to inspect the mix up, “Oh, dear...interesting little pickle you’ve gotten yourself into, Merlin.”

You sighed at the forlorn look those blue eyes were giving you.

“Come along, then. Let’s see what we can do about it.” you stood with the grimoire and made your way down to Gaius’ work station, Merlin’s stoat body bounding along behind you.

—

You were crushing up the ingredients needed for the reversal potion with a mortar and pestle when the unmistakable sound of a disgruntled prince roaring Merlin’s name sounded down the hall. You froze as you locked eyes with Merlin, panic radiating off the both of you. Of all the times for Arthur to come looking for his manservant...

Abandoning the task at hand, you scooped up Stoat-Merlin and circled the spot where you stood, desperate for somewhere to hide him. In your panic, you decided to hide him in the first place that came to mind. But not before apologising for what you were about to do. You held up Stoat-Merlin to your face, looking him in the eye.

“I’m so sorry.”

And with that sincere apology, you proceeded to shove Stoat-Merlin down the neckline of your bodice. You froze as Prince Arthur threw the door open, clasping your hands together behind your back. Thankfully, Stoat-Merlin had stilled beneath your clothes. You were however, very aware of the heavy thump of his heart as it beat in his tiny furry body against your breastbone.

“Your Highness.” you greeted the prince with a slight bow.

You did a subtle shuffle as you straightened, praying that your upright body was enough to hide the grimoire lying open on the table behind you.

“Have you seen Merlin?”

“No, sire,” you lied blatantly, “I’m looking for him myself.”

“Where is he?”

“Out running errands with Gaius, I suppose. Shall I tell him that you’re looking for him when he returns?”

“Yes, and when you see him, tell to report to me immediately.”

“Of course, sire.”

You bow in farewell as the prince leaves, sighing in relief when the door shuts behind him. You gasp at the feeling of Stoat-Merlin squirming against you, reaching a hand into your clothes to pull him out.

“I’m so sorry!”

Stoat-Merlin has his head in his paws, unable to look you in the eye. You on the other hand, look at him with desperation; your cheeks aflame with embarrassment.

“I’m so sorry, Merlin! But we couldn’t risk Arthur seeing you in this state and...and I panicked…” you wrung your hands together, cheeks flushing scarlet, “at least I didn’t tell him you were at the tavern…”

Merlin’s paws dropped to his sides and he scuttled over to stand beside the motar and pestle, eager to get this over with. You pressed your hands over your face as you took a breath, willing the heat to dissipate from your face before striding over. You followed the last of the instructions; scooping out a spoonful of the paste into a bowl. You carefully measured out the correct amount of water before stirring it all together, the paste soon turning into a bittersweet smelling soup.

“Bottoms up, Merlin.” you grimaced as you slid the bowl over in his direction, hoping for his sake that the potion would taste better than it smelled.

Stoat-Merlin lapped up as much as he could before bounding over to you. You scooped him up, holding him close as you leaned over the book. You had thought it best that you be the one to read the spell out loud, seeing as stoats couldn’t talk. Hopefully if Merlin read the incantation as you said it, that would be enough to undo the mess of a spell he had made.

You didn’t notice the glow in his eyes as you read the spell, but what you couldn’t ignore was the loud, smoky explosion that happened immediately after. A yelp left your mouth as the force of it knocked you to the ground. Oh, god...the spell had gone wrong, horribly wrong. You felt heavy and pinned down, and you wouldn’t know the extent of your predicament until this confounded smoke cleared up... "Oh."

It was the only sound you could make as you found yourself face to face with a very human, very naked Merlin. You kept your eyes locked onto his and refused to let them wander as your hands found his shoulders. "The spell worked...?" "Yes." Merlin's voice sounded deeper than you were used to, it made your heart skip a beat. You didn't say another word as you pressed your hands over your face to give Merlin privacy. You felt his body leave yours and heard the sound of his clothes rustling as he got dressed. It was only when Merlin pried your hands away that you dared to open your eyes. "Are you hurt?" Merlin asked as he pulled you to your feet. "N-no." An awkward silence hung in the room as you and Merlin struggled to hold each other's gaze, both desperate to break the silence but not knowing what to say. You thanked your stars when Gaius walked in, grateful for the interruption. For the rest of the day, despite your best efforts, your thoughts continued to be plagued with thoughts of blue eyes and crushed velvet.

[startledstoat]

fun fact when i made this account my username was either gonna be startledstoat or arthursspoon bc for the last week straight i had had "YoU lOoK lIkE a StArTlEd StOaT" and "Are you threatening me with a spoon???" stuck in my head

[vulturejuice]

[Image ID: A 13-panel comic which depicts two furry characters, a cougar and a stoat, in an argument about political lesbianism. It is coloured in the palette of the lesbian flag, with the cougar in pink colours and the stoat in orange colours. End ID]

This is a comic I made last December as a final project for a Communication and Sexuality class! It was super fun to get to use my OCs for a school project and the research for it was super interesting and meaningful to me as a lesbian myself.

A full transcript of the comic, as well as a list of citations, is available below the cut!

Transcript and image descriptions:

Panel 1: The cougar sits in a chair reading a book.

Panel 2: The cougar turns a page and the stoat enters the frame without the cougar noticing.

Panel 3: The stoat speaks very close to the cougar’s face, startling her. Stoat: “Whatcha readin’?” Cougar: GAH!

Panel 4: The cougar holds the book up to the camera, revealing the phrase “POLITICAL LESBIANISM” on its cover. The stoat looks at it with her hand on her chin. Cougar: Oh... I was just reading this book about POLITICAL LESBIANISM Stoat: Oh hm

Panel 5: The cougar reads from a stack of papers. The stoat puts her hand to her cheek and closes her eyes. A thought bubble comes from the stoat which depicts women standing in a circle holding hands while two men look on angrily. Stoat: That’s that thing from like the 80s, right? Where feminists thought all women should be lesbians? Cougar: Yeah, the Leeds Revolutionary Feminists put out a paper detailing as much in 1979. 

Panel 6: The cougar shrugs, holding the papers out towards the stoat. The stoat grabs for them excitedly. Cougar: Basically, anyone who associated with men was the enemy! Stoat: Hey, sounds good to me! Who needs ‘em, right?

Panel 7: The cougar puts her hands on her hips and glares at the stoat. The stoat holds the papers and frowns. Cougar: Oh, come on! Gender essentialist much? Not to mention their focus on the penis as a tool of oppression... Where does that leave pre- and non-op trans women?

Panel 8: The stoat’s eyes widen and she points at the paper. The cougar throws up one hand in exasperation. Stoat: Wait! It says here that a political lesbian is a “woman-identified woman.” Shouldn’t that include trans women? Cougar: Not what that means!

Panel 9: The cougar turns to the camera and raises her finger in the air. She pulls a new stack of papers up from outside the panel. The stoat looks between the papers she is holding and the new papers in confusion. Cougar: In their 1970 manifesto, the Radicalesbians ask that women craft our own identities by relating to each other, not men’s ideas of what we should be. They’re not really talking about gender identity the way we do today.

Panel 10: The stoat puts her hands on her hips and throws her head back, holding her papers to her side. The cougar puts out her hands in protest, and the papers she’s holding fall. Stoat: Right. I guess you think everyone was transphobic back then. Cougar: Hey, I never said that!

Panel 11: The cougar lifts up a small record and smiles down at it. The stoat glares at it as she tucks her papers under her arm. Cougar: Take the radical feminist lesbian separatist music collective, Olivia Records! They supported and even bodily defended their trans sound engineer, Sandy Stone, when her role at the collective was questioned and she was threatened with transphobic violence.

Panel 12: The stoat crosses her arms and tries to interject. The cougar keeps talking as she throws the record away behind herself. Stoat: Sure, but- Cougar: No, it’s so-called gender critical feminists who spit in the face of trans women’s contributions to our rich lesbian history. Our love of women and rejection of prescribed sex roles is what brings us together - not out hatred of men!

Panel 13: The stoat turns away from the cougar in anger. The cougar smiles and puts a hand on the stoat’s corner. Stoat: Oh, whatever! I don’t want to talk about it anymore if you’re just going to tell me I’m wrong all the time. Cougar: Look at it this way... we’re just taking part in the storied lesbian tradition of pointless arguing!

Citations

Ahmed, S. (2016). An affinity of hammers. TSQ: Transgender Studies Quarterly, 3(1-2), 22-34. https://doi.org/10.1215/23289252-3334151   

Enszer, J. R. (2016). “How to stop choking to death��: Rethinking lesbian separatism as a vibrant political theory and feminist practice. Journal of Lesbian Studies, 20(2), 180-196. https://doi.org/10.1080/10894160.2015.1083815   

Love your enemy? The debate between heterosexual feminism and political lesbianism. (1981). Onlywomen Press.

O’Donnell, K. (2019). The theological basis for trans-exclusionary radical feminist positions. In N. Banerjea, K. Browne, E. Ferreira, M. Olasik, & J. Podmore (Eds.), Lesbian feminism: Essays opposing global heteropatriarchies. Bloomsbury Academic & Professional.

Thurlow, C. (2022). From TERF to gender critical: A telling genealogy? Sexualities. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1177/13634607221107827   

Weiss, P. A. (Ed.). (2018). Feminist manifestos: A global documentary reader. New York University Press.

Williams, C. (2016). Radical inclusion: Recounting the trans inclusive history of radical feminism. TSQ: Transgender Studies Quarterly, 3(1-2), 254-258. https://doi.org/10.1215/23289252-3334463

[starlitangels]

Kody: You look like a startled stoat

Damien: Well at least I don’t look like a bone-idle… toad

Kody: You think I look like a toad?

Damien: Yup. And maybe someday you’ll magically transform into a handsome Prince

Damien: Except shifter magic is pretty much impossible for any other specialist so that’ll probably never happen

Damien: *grabs Huxley’s hand* C’mon let’s go

[earlgreyinpajamas]

hii do you have any more fake dating fics? ty!

merthur

The Proposition by fifty_fifty

Hit by another scandal and with the reputation of the monarchy hanging on by a thread, Prince Arthur finds himself in desperate need of an image rehabilitation.

When the press assumes his blossoming friendship with his maths tutor Merlin is more of a romance, his father proposes a proposition: ask Merlin to continue portraying a wholesome relationship for a few months to regain the prince’s reputation, and receive his university costs paid off in full in return.

With his image restored and a new beau lined up, Arthur is left with a difficult decision; bend to his fathers will, or defy him.

In the end, it’s not such a tough choice. Love always wins.

~~~

the ending slaps

2. (it feels like we're just) too close by kirani (@merlinisnotover)

Merlin and Arthur are taken captive and assumed to be a soulmate pair. When Merlin realizes they don't know who Arthur is, he decides to play along. The truth of the matter is a bit more complicated.

~~~

ack this is cute

3. Following the Custom by TyalanganD (@tyalangand)

"So, the magic is a bit like the land, yeah? A king vows to protect the land, and in the ancient tradition, it’s almost as if he gets married to it. The Sorcerer is an embodiment of the land. So, the druids expect…”

“…expect me to be married to you?”

“No, no!” Merlin’s ears are on fire now, which can only mean he looks like a startled stoat with two red flags. “They know that dynasties don’t work that way, they’re not stupid.”

“Glad to hear that. What do they require of me, then?”

“Well, to show me… affection. When we receive their delegation, they’ll be looking for signs that you truly accepted magic, my lord. If they see you behaving towards me as you do usually, they might take offence.”

~~~

this is how the show should have went down!!!

00q

Call Me Darling, I Come Running by samanthahirr (@samanthahirr)

On a quiet night off in London, Bond receives a mysterious text to come to Q's aid. But just what kind of trouble is Q in? And why does he require Bond to pose as his boyfriend?

~~~

a must read!!

2. Important Dates by AtoTheBean

After a brief attempt at retirement, James is back at MI6 and working hard to rebuild working relationships with his colleagues and friends. And he's making great strides.

Only Q continues to hold him at arm's length, maintaining a stubborn professionalism in their interactions that James remains unable to pierce.

But James doesn't want Q at arm's length, and so he takes a risk. But even a spy's instincts can run amok, and now James wonders just how long he'll be reaping what he's sown, and how many holidays it will take to win Q over.

~~~

there's a chapter in here where they're undercover for a mission

3. Under The Covers by storm_of_sharp_things

007 Fest 2020

Fill 6 of 9 for collab prompt table Thanks to Celyan for the prompt: For mission related reasons, Q has to join Bond in the field (preferably for a longer mission) and he has to do it as Bond’s fake boyfriend, while simultaneously keeping it a secret from nosy friends and superiors alike that he and Bond are already in a very committed relationship.

James and Q settle into the LGBTQ+ community in Arosa, Switzerland, on an undercover mission to discover some important information from their target, who attends Gay Ski Week every year in January.

~~~

not sure if you'd count this as fake dating, but i thought it was an fun premise so it's here

[lastintheserverbox]

Takes care of you... when you're sick...? Why? I got sick and broke my bones a lot, and I never went t-

[The ping of Cray's message makes them jump, letting out a startled squawk.]

... N-no... checkups? No, I- I never went at all... my parents never took me, and- and I never left the apartment...

When I still went to school, Stoat would tell me to use a doctor's appointment as an excuse when I skipped class... they just said not to worry that I didn't know what that meant.

Your mom... took you to the doctor...? To- to be... taken care... of...?

-🦜

[Orison sucks in a breath. It's good the doctor isn't here to hear this right now]

"...Doctors are quite important on the outside world. The reason your...'roommate' never took you, is because they knew had they done so, you would have been taken away for what they were doing."

[nighthaunting]

This is completely non-serious but I put SQH on the little hamster-wheel that powers my ability to focus on tasks today, and ended up with an au where literally nothing in SVSSS is different, except SQH went all-in on being a physical cultivator because he realized the system wouldn’t stop him and he could subject people to the First Elden Lord Godfrey/Horah Loux, Warrior boss-fight

I emphasize that otherwise everything is the same! He still pretends to faint to get out of stuff and acts pathetic!

The ONLY difference is that instead of looking like a crumbled wet tissue (cute) and being a crumpled wet tissue (endearingly pathetic), he looks like a crumpled wet tissue (cute) but he can do that fucking Power Bomb/Chokeslam/Earthquake combo chain

It’s the cultivator equivalent of being some kind of little stoat or perhaps an ermine!

I can think of two canon divergences where this comes into play, and they are in order:

He startle-response supplexes MBJ’s head through the floor one time and kickstarts their entire romance arc 50 years early, and during MBJ’s ascension he finally (Finally!) gets to gets to subject someone to the Godfrey/Horah Loux boss-fight and its LGJ.

[pippin-katz]

“You look like a startled stoat!”

My post about this line has the most interactions I have ever had, and I wanted to draw this anyway, so here is my first drawing of Merlin the Stoat 💙

[bebravedearheart]

10 Characters, 10 Fandoms

Rules: Post 10 favourite characters from 10 separate fandoms

Thank you @thesongistheriver for the tag!

1. Sir Leon (Merlin)

2. Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler (X Men)

3. James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes (Captain America)

4. Garrus Vakarian (Mass Effect)

5. The Iron Bull (Dragon Age)

6. Gale Dekarios (Baldur's Gate 3)

7. Eskel (The Witcher 3)

8. Dr Lisa Cuddy (House MD)

9. Henrietta "Hen" Wilson (911)

10. Portia Featherington (Bridgerton)

This was fun trying to think of fandoms!

I don't know who has been tagged in this before and who hasn't, so I apologise but I'll tag @godmerlin @guiltyscarlet @marcskywalker @example-of-a-romantic @startled-stoat

[bleaksqueak]

Do any of the characters have a favorite specific animal? Or is it a criteria of traits they like? Do animals like them aswell?

Since I think most people at least have an animal that falls onto their "pretty neat" radar, I'd say the characters would fall into the same trappings! Just some more than others, sure. Maia likes dogs a *lot*, hence quickly approaching the fox in the courtyard before realizing her mistake, and her muttering statement to Gwennebat about Reasons Why Aetherial Orienteering is Neat Actually. ... Animals don't seem to gravitate towards her though. Probably sensing her overall distrust, and well, in the span of about two minutes she landed on one and tried to give it a shiner with a brownie. That one did warm up to her a little (at least, enough to sit down and Enjoy The Free Food), but she's no Disney Princess. Audric would be polite and say finches are his favorite... *if* the ears that matter are listening. If they aren't, he'd admit (it's secretly gryphons.). Between his aetherial aura and his manifest eyes, though, he tends to startle animals.

Pre-veil Lyra would list Magpies as her favorite. They remained a strong contender, but the outveil did not have Chappybaras, which are sort of these tiny six legged Capybaras that look like they got lost on the Potato Bug production line. She's pretty fond of all animals though, and was even out catching critters when she stumbled upon the veil gate. Animals tend to like her in turn, though she can come on a bit strong. Still no disney princess. Audun probably hasn't thought about it in terms of a favorite animal, but he does have a fondness for Elder Elk, not for any real reason beyond having gotten lucky enough to see some grazing when he was young. They're incredibly rare, and often only visible in a spectral form. Animals don't seem to care one way or the other if he's there, but his aetherial aura is a bit opposite Audric's, so it might have enough of a calming effect that they don't run so long as he doesn't startle them, himself. Elias.... yes. His favorite animal(s) all share the same disposition, and he keeps a stoat--an aberrant *and* a weasel, of all things--as a pet for that very reason. Any "certified trash animal" is one he likes. Tends to favor classic woodland creatures that are commonly thought of as pests/vermin, but all are good. Magic, non-magic, living, not-living. It'd be easier to ask what he doesn't like. As for whether or not they like him... I mean. Just look at the boy. He's got a whole critter practically living on him!

[healerelowen]

 Hello Hello! This is another part of my mini series, Steelclan Shenanigans! Surprise part for the one and only Luke! A neighboring kittypet who’s Steelclan’s honorary and singular daylight warrior. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy, and have a good rest of your day/night!

-Spring feelings-

“Quit stepping on my tail, mouse-brain!” Stoatstar jerked his tail away as it hissed at the cat behind it. “Sorry.” Luke mumbled as he followed the Steelclan leader. The two were going on a border patrol, just before Luke had to return to his twolegs at night. It made the travel easier, since the border of twoleg place was not too far away from the Meadowclan border. Stoatstar always volunteered to go with the kittypet, though, despite how the leader seemed to despise the dark brown cat. Something about ‘keeping watch for anything that could disturb the clan,’ he had said. Luke didn’t bother, he was just glad that he wasn’t just fending on his own all the time out here. 

Not that he ever really was, most of Steelclan took to him almost right away. It was the other clans, especially Forestclan, that had a more difficult time adjusting to him being there. But Luke remembers, so clearly, how fiercely Stoatstar had stood up for him at a gathering. How piercing his icey, blue eyes were, how its light brown fur bristled as it told the other leaders off in a way that Luke had never seen from the leader before. It made Luke’s heart race every time he thought about it, and it provided an odd sense of comfort, knowing someone like him would have his back.  

“-Luke?” He snapped out of his daze and up at Stoatstar, who unsurprisingly had a judgemental look on his face. “You didn’t hear a word I just said, did you?” Luke looked sheepishly to the growing stalks of water reed as they passed by a small pond. Stoatstar only sighed and turned his attention back to the path ahead, “Of course you didn’t. I would expect nothing less of you.” For the first time in a while, Luke finally spoke up, “I mean, I’d guess you wouldn’t keep your expectations too high for me anyway.” Stoatstar…tensed, ear flicking once. “What do you mean?” He asked. 

“Oh, I don’t know. Just with me being a daylight warrior, and not a real warrior like you or the rest of Steelclan.” He admitted. Luke startled when Stoatstar suddenly stopped in his tracks, and he was met with a firm yet caring gaze from the stoat-colored cat in front of him. “Don’t call yourself that.” Stoatstar lectured, though it lacked any bite. “You are a real warrior, Luke. I’ve seen you, and you are just as capable as the rest of us are. You’re one of us now, Luke: a Steelclan warrior, just like me or anyone else in the clan. You have been for a while. And if I can’t make the other clans realize it, then I’ll be damned if I can’t make you realize it either. Because you’re more than just the simple kittypet they think you are.” Luke’s heart felt like a fish leaping out of the water, he was truly touched by the leader’s words.

“I..I don’t know what to say, thank you..” Luke mewed, and Stoatstar shifted back into motion. “Don’t mention it.” He mumbled, it seemed to be a bit more embarrassed from the raw emotion of the lecture. Luke couldn’t help the warm and fuzzy feeling stirring beneath his pelt as they made the trek to the twoleg fences lining the border. The two stopped before the tall wooden fence that marked Luke’s home, or ‘twoleg nest’ as Stoatstar had called it. Luke always found the little names that the clan cats had for kittypet terms endearing, it was quite entertaining to see what they could conjure up. “Well, this is it..” Stoatstar said, but Luke couldn’t help but notice the twinge of longing in his eyes as it stared at the top of the fence. 

Luke didn’t want to wait any longer, so he brushed his cheek onto Stoatstar’s chest fur. He felt the cat stiffen beneath his pelt, “Luke, what are you-!?” It had yowled but Luke’s hushed voice quickly interrupted. “I don’t want to go back yet, just a few more moments, please..” Stoatstar muttered something about worrying the clan by staying out too late, but he didn’t move away, quite the opposite. Slowly, carefully, Stoatstar had curled his lanky tail around Luke’s smaller body, resting its cheek on top of the dark brown cat’s head. The silence that followed was comfortable, before Luke had to pull away. He was hesitant to meet Stoatstar’s gaze, but he didn’t have to, as the slim warrior pressed his nose to Luke’s cheek briefly before quickly pulling back. 

Luke stared up at the flustered leader in surprise, whose ears were flattened, but not out of distaste (mostly). ‘His ears must be hot from embarrassment,’ Luke guessed. The little cat simply smiled and quickly pressed his nose to the light-brown cat’s before pulling back again just as it had done with him. “See you tomorrow then?” Luke couldn’t help but purr with delight. Stoatstar was the one to shy away this time, as the leader looked down to the side. ‘Yeah whatever. Just go back to your nasty twolegs.” He muttered, but Luke was only amused further by the leader’s antics. “Alright then,” Luke said before he hopped onto the top of the fence, stopping at the top as he called down to the cat on the other side. “Stoatstar?” The leader looked up at him, “What?” The dark brown cat chirped, “I love you, you know that?” Before Stoatstar could respond, light shined from the twoleg den as a tall twoleg seemed to be calling for Luke. The cat disappeared over the fence, leaving Stoatstar alone in filtered light before darkness had fallen onto him once again. “Yeah..” He murmured, staring after where Luke had been. “I love you too, Luke..”