#a sketch I maybe would complete and fix in the future? Until then have date night boyfriend ❤️

[blakbonnet]

he's ready for their date night actually

[rosethornewrites]

Fics I read this week!

I started this right after posting the last one, so I’ll hopefully keep it up. A lot of the multichapter fics are ones I subscribed to that finished. A lot of the one-shots are under 5k words, with some being 100-word ficlets.

Finished:

Not Rated:

Wei Changze's weird day, by Weiyingbestboy

Wei Changze was minding his own business, when four potential time travellers dropped out of the sky. Literally.

Serenity Cave, by Anonymous

The travel home had been mostly silent. Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian competing for who could say the least amount of words.

Then, as they’d been walking along the mountain path, just a little past the gates of Cloud Recesses, a hole suddenly opened up in the ground beneath them and they fell into a small rock cave. Then the hole shrunk until it was barely big enough to poke a sword through. Just enough of a gap that they had a bit of light and wouldn’t suffocate, but definitely too small to escape through.

The earth had swallowed them.

…

In the middle of an argument, Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian get trapped in a cave.

In Which Lan Xichen Returns to the World, by AshurbanipalJones

Lan Xichen ends his isolation after the death of Jin Guangyao.

In Which Lan Qiren Requests an Audience, by AshurbanipalJones

Lan Qiren wants to discuss Important Matters with his nephew. His nephew is kinda not having it.

Mercy Meet Vengeance, by ShanaStoryteller (7th in a series)

The first time Wen Qing meets Wei Wuxian, she has a white sash around her waist.

Rated E:

Thirty-three Lashes, by Winglesss (20 chapters)

Yiling Laozu is dead. He's been dead for over a thousand years. For over a thousand years Lan Wangji has been wandering the world alone, helping where he's needed.

It's when he meets a mysterious cultivator and a strange curse starts to torment his body that the past and the present start to mingle, igniting emotions Lan Wangji almost forgot he was able to feel.

curiosity is the beginning, by everyearning (noctiphany)

He's just curious. Wangi's brother always said he had an insatiable thirst for knowledge. He also said it was going to get him in trouble one day.

Rated M:

devil from heaven, by incendir (3 chapters)

He would like to think that he knows what Lan Wangji could enjoy, if he’d let himself do so.

(or, wei wuxian's road to discovering lan wangji's yiling patriarch kink)

in this lifetime, by hauntedotamatone

Lan Wangji must reach him. There is still time. All he has to do is reach him. They’ll take A-Yuan and whoever remains and they’ll go as far and fast as they can. The world is vast, there must be a place for them somewhere, and if there is not, then he will carve one out from nothing if that is what it will take.

“Wei Ying!” he calls out to him over the roar of the flames and the familiar and terrible sounds of battle. At first, he thinks that Wei Ying is ignoring him or otherwise does not hear him. Then, his fingers still over his flute. He looks up with those empty eyes, unseeing. There is no hatred in them, but there is no affection or recognition either. There is nothing at all.

Lan Wangji has a terrible nightmare for the first time in years. For the first time in years, he does not wake up alone.

We Are Family, by Duochanfan (13 chapters)

Jiang Yanli heard the words spewing from Jin Zixun's mouth and said enough. After putting the man in his place she leaves the Hunt with her brother and Lan Wangji. The three come across Wen Qing, and with that simple meeting, they change what could have happened to something else entirely.

until it's time to see the light, I'll make my own with you each night, by backbones

His husband would never go back to sleep if he sensed something was wrong, and he always did. He knew him better than he knew himself, sometimes, and maybe that was why that feeling was so foreign it was horrifying. He wanted to keep that part of himself close, a well-kept secret, and now, deep down, he knew it was too late for that.

Or: After having a nightmare in a deep sleep, Wei Wuxian has a surprise visit from an old childhood habit.

Rated T:

Wei Wuxian Discovers Bisexuality, by arcaladiwoompa

AU where WWX decides he quite enjoys being passionately kissed against a tree by an unknown assailant and acts on it instead of just sitting there going herp derp I wonder who this very strong cultivator could possibly be.

Rescue, by WithBroomBefore (6 chapters)

Post-Sunshot fix-it AU featuring Jiang siblings taking care of each other, among other things.

Over the Rotted Bridge, by vailkagami (41 chapters)

Lan Wangji saves the Wen remants from execution but is killed in the process. The Yiling Patriarch loses himself in grief and rage and the determination to bring him back no matter what.

The world is not on his side in this. It is not on either of their sides when he succeeds. But The World is not all of its people, and some things can always be salvaged from the ruins.

Across, by vailkagami

An epilogue to the story "Over the Rotted Bridge", set in the far future. Cannot stand alone.

Centuries after the fall of the cultivation world, Wei Wuxian and Wangji return to the burial mounds for the last time.

Completion, by youjezebel

Lan Wangji misses raising A-Yuan. Wei Wuxian wants to be a father. In the end, everything works out perfectly.

Second Nephew, by vividneonmanias

"You need to stop talking to Wàngjī," Lan Xīchén told him, in the uncannily stern tones of a Sect Leader and not a nephew; "and preferably stop talking about him, if you cannot control yourself."

In the years following Wèi Wúxiàn's death, Lán Qǐrén learns to hold his tongue. But he still wants to know his second nephew. Some things need to be said; some questions need to be asked.

oceans, drowned in starfire, by stiltonbasket (10 chapters)

Lan Wangji breathes.

There is a tattered red ribbon trailing through the water beside him, and below him, a crooning, echoing song that clears his mind and stops him from struggling against the waves.

Lan Wangji breathes, and sleeps, and wakes again.

When he opens his eyes on the beach to find Huan-ge and Shufu crying over his body, he hears a lifeguard say that he was underwater for almost half an hour. ___

Tired of life in the business world, Lan Wangji returns to his mother’s old house to pursue a career as a novelist and search for the mysterious fisherman who rescued him after he nearly drowned on a whale-watching trip twenty years ago.

He wasn’t expecting much more than a quiet refuge to serve as inspiration for his work, and restore his spirits after half a lifetime spent in the city. But when a lost merbaby washes up on the beach in Caiyi, Lan Wangji realizes that his childhood savior might be closer than he thinks.

adding shadows to the walls of the cave, by Fleetling

It didn’t take Wei Wuxian long to see what he was pointing at, and as soon as he did, the smaller man turned back to face their juniors. “Cave!” he shouted across the thunder of the raindrops hitting the muddy path. “Hanguang-Jun found us a cave! We’ll stop to dry off, and head out again once the rain has stopped!” Beside him, Lan Wangji inclined his head in silent agreement. The bickering of the juniors cut out as they focused on making it the remaining short distance on the slippery ground.

They all huddled into the entrance of the cave, taking refuge from the rain, but waiting for directions before heading in.

Ouyang Zizhen ran his hand over the wall, feeling slight bumps and indents below his fingers. He brushed off the dirt, reading the characters revealed. “The lovers’ cave,” he read, shaking his head with a smile. Probably a local pair who came here occasionally. It was a bit romantic, when one thought of it. It also probably meant that the cave was safe - no lovers would hide away in a cave that contained resentful energy or other dangers.

Say It Until I Hear You, by DrowningByDegrees

Lan Zhan does not say what has him rattled, but neither does he retreat. He concedes by fractions, an embrace he does not shake off, a shaky sigh when his forehead comes to rest against Wei Wuxian’s collarbone, a wordless surrender when Wei Wuxian gathers him closer. Wei Wuxian doesn’t know precisely which ones, but there are ghosts in bed with them tonight, sorrow and regret and all the might have beens they cast aside so long ago.

Dull Comforts, by Just_Another_Mystery

Five times Làn Sīzhuī pondered the existence of a parent he does not remember having.

Downpour, by milesofheart

The way Wei Ying had looked at him…warily, expecting a fight, steeling himself for Lan Wangji to denounce him. Waiting for the worst from Lan Wangji.

Lan Wangji’s heart cracked down the middle and his whole body shook as he wept now in the rain, the mud of Qiongqi Path seeping into his once-pristine robes.

on the importance of home (and all it implies), by nixtothou

The Burial Mounds are empty.

Wei Wuxian had expected this, yet for some reason it still hurt to see.

The Best Place to Study, by adrian_kres

Lan Zhan decides to study in the law library this time. He leaves with a boyfriend.

Rated G:

cadillac converter, by mdzsed

lan zhan's car starts making weird noises so he takes it to get it repaired. the new mechanic does not look like he knows what he's doing. good thing lan zhan is no fool.

or: lan zhan makes a complete idiot out of himself but hey, it scored him a date with a handsome mechanic so it's all good.

a small spark, by sebfish

It had started, as many things did, because Wen Qing was worried, and Wei Wuxian had learned early on that she wouldn’t budge until she’d gotten her way.

Winter in Cloud Recesses, by Sarehz

Winter in Cloud Recesses was cold. Really cold. It was a chill that penetrated Wei Wuxian's bones and reminded him of that period after his parents died when he shivered alone in the streets.

His Face, by AshayaTReldai

Among Su She's possessions was found a qiankun pouch containing a sheaf of sketches of Hanguang Jun, inspiring a lifetime's exchange between Wei Wuxian and his husband Lan Wangji, studies of his face.

anger, by theninjacat

Beloved Old Lines, by Preludian_Staves

A quiet Wuxian was a creature Qiren had learned to never trust in mixed company.

I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight, by Sarehz

Wei Wuxian was sitting on the roof. Again. It had become his go to place recently when he had to attend these sort of boring meetings where all the Sect Leader's met up and congratulated each other on defeating Wen Ruohan and blah blah blah.

Unexpected, by WithBroomBefore

It is not, from Lan Wangji’s perspective, an unpleasant kiss. He has no particular objection to kissing people, though admittedly he has only ever done so as a prelude to activities that involve various other bits of the body. And it is Wei Wuxian; nothing involving Wei Wuxian is awful. The kiss is...fine.

Modern AU, just some aroace/aro queerplatonic roommates finding the words.

An Accidental Clothes Thief, by Preludian_Staves

He should have probably realized what he'd accidentally done before starting work on a new talisman.

Groupie, by Speechless_since_1998

Being the manager of a band was hard work, but someone had to do it. And Lan Xichen was the only one able to keep members of his brother's band in line.

A Silver Thread, by DizziDreams

Lan Wangji is brushing Wei Ying's Hair before bed, when he sees it, glinting like a fish through the dark glassy waters of a deep pool:

A single, silver hair.

The sky is overcast and I'm sorry, by hamlets_ghost (8th part of a series)

Wangji's brother is gone once again.

A-niang explains.

Follow the sound of pipe, follow this song, by fairyprincess2

He took the last steps needed to reach the opening and there he was, black and red clothes flying with the wind, hair bound up in a ponytail with a red hair band. He was standing with his back facing Lan Wangji but it was him, he knew it was.

(In)Hindsight, it's obvious, by Potatoes_Radishes 

Lan Qiren woke up undisturbed, calm and refreshed, that was enough for him to immediately know something was odd, mainly due to the lack of noises during the night that made him suspect it, he grumbled away his frustrations regarding what he assumed would have been another prank as he got up to get dressed.

When he left the bathroom and moved outside, a very different set of robes awaited him, one he hadn’t worn in years. He finally took a notice of his surrounding, the room was different resembling the one from before their rebuilding, not caring about his state of undress as he open the door almost on the verge of panic, the first thing that rang out in the morning was a loud yell of “WEI WUXIAN!!!”

Unfinished:

Rated E:

taking over you, by sassybluee (3rd in a series)

Before, he’d once fantasized about giving in—shutting Wei Ying up with his lips, stilling his limbs with his own forehead ribbon. He imagined himself making demands. And then Wei Ying went missing. Wei Ying was presumed dead. And Wei Ying returned from the Burial Mounds. By then, Lan Wangji’s desires had long since cooled, and all that remained was longing. Longing to ease Wei Ying’s suffering. Longing to help him know he was not as alone as he seemed to feel. He would have gladly given him everything back then, if he knew how to ask for it. Would have surrendered his body to show him he cared.

And now?

_____

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian explore married life, and all that entails.

Rated M:

Keep Holding On, by abCEE

As they reached an inn and Wei Wuxian got them a room with three beds, the world seemed to have frozen for Jiang Yanli when her brother suddenly fainted and Jiang Wanyin was just fast enough to catch him before his body could hit the floor.

"A-Xian!"

"Wei Wuxian!"

In which after the Lotus Pier Massacre: Wei Wuxian was greatly injured by Zidian, Jiang Yanli left the inn to buy the medicines and food, and Jiang Wanyin distracted the Wens.

(With a bonus of Wei Wuxian knowing the title of the song and more things ensued inside the Xuanwu Cave that may or may have not involved Lan Wangji's forehead ribbon)

Canon diverged from there.

Sacrifices Made with Blood, by NocturnalFriend

Lan Wangji knew it was too late, there was too much blood on Wei Ying's hands already. Still, if he asked his brother for help, surely. There was a way to rescue the man who held his heart?

Or: Trust is not easily given and all to easily shattered. Lan Wangji learns this in the worst way, when Lan Xichen gives into the demands of the cultivation world. Although nobody could have predicted the whims of fate, giving them another chance at righting things.

lan jingyi vs. the laws of time itself, by agloeian (2nd in a series)

His kick has dislodged some stray fragments of Guanyin Temple's destroyed ceiling beams. Jingyi stares at them as he kneads his toes through his boot. They’re as red as the blood that stains the floor beneath him, sharp and splintering. Wind whistles through the wood and stone, though there’s a flickering too - the sound of paper fluttering in the breeze.

A talisman written in blood.

---

Lan Jingyi finds a way home.

Dream a little dream of me, by Moominmammashandbag

Lan WangJi braced himself.

“Wei Ying.” he said.

“You are not dreaming. This is real. You have been rescued.”

“The kissing bit comes first!” said Wei Wuxian impatiently.

“But…I cannot kiss you if you think you are dreaming!"

“I don’t see the logic in that.” said Wei Wuxian. “I obviously want you to kiss me or I wouldn’t be dreaming about it!

Rated T:

Love Song In Reverse, by timetoboldlygo

Wei Wuxian gasps back into life without a single memory left. His friends, his siblings, his home — all lost to the fog in his head, nothing more than a mystery slipping through his fingers. What else was there to do but carry himself around in bits and parts, trying to become whole, a letter waiting to be written? He is – he is Mo Xuanyu, isn’t he? In this body, with these people. This family. He has to be Mo Xuanyu, he didn’t know anything else, even if the name sounded wrong. That was all he had.

Well, that and Hanguang-jun.

Lan Wangji, for his part, has had his taste of love and lost it. In all his grieving and searching, he didn’t expect to find another.

-

Wei Wuxian gets resurrected, loses his memories, and falls in love.

Here We Go Again, by Alliandra

He looked over to where the swordswoman was still fighting, but her focus seemed entirely locked onto that fight so it was unlikely that she could have had anything to do with the energy drain. He was still wracking his brain for something else to do to assist, so this thing didn’t kill them both, but now he was feeling weak, dizzy and currently not far from helpless.

~~~~~~~~~~

It has been several months since the events at the Guanyin temple and Wei Wuxian is wandering around on his own. After he helps a stranger kill a very dangerous beast he uncovers what seems to be a conspiracy aimed at ending his life. He heads back to Cloud Recesses with his new companion in tow, looking to get Lan Wanji's help in working out what is involved.

Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling made a surprising discovery under Koi Tower that may well be linked to the threat against Wei Wuxian's life.

Can they all work together to find out what is going on and put a stop to it, before something disastrous occurs?

A Teacher’s Oath, by MaelStromm

Deep down, only one thing really matters.

It is not being a good Lan, despite what the entire cultivation world may think, nor is it "sucking the fun out of life" as some disciple had once said.

More than anything, Lan Qiren is a good teacher.

Despite too many to count prejudices and the boy's chaotic behavior, he'll burn his ribbon before he lets this genius be wasted.

Or :

An AU where LQR gets along with WWX and somehow ends up having to deal with far too much drama.

I've Heard of Second Chances, but This Is Ridiculous, by velvet_green

One of Wei Wuxian’s experimental talisman arrays sends himself, his husband and his brother to that mythical land of long ago – the Gusu Lan lectures of their youth.

Wei Wuxian is amused. Lan Wangji is silent. Jiang Cheng is angry.

And their younger versions are mostly just very, very confused.

[after-avenging-hours]

Out of Time [1]: Steve x Reader

Series Masterlist

Summary:  After Steve gets injected with a mysterious substance during a mission gone wrong, you come to find out that the only thing that can save his life is a pure sample of Dr. Erskine’s Super Soldier Serum. Unwilling to let the love of your life die without a fighting chance, you travel through the quantum realm back to 1943. Equipped with little more than your knowledge of past events, you have to figure out just how exactly you’re going to get your hands on that serum. Not only that, but with the infinity stones no longer protecting the reality you’ve come from, there is now a chance that your presence in the past can change the future you’ll return to. Can you succeed without messing things up? And if things go wrong, can you fix it before it’s too late? Or will you run out of time…

Word Count: 5565

Warnings: Canon typical violence, time travel, injury of major characters

You don’t know how it went so wrong. You’d been on a mission with the team. A few former SHIELD scientists that were suspected to have been working under the influence of Hydra had been spotted in the same vicinity, raising several red flags. After a few days of recon, you’d managed to track down the location of their lab. When the team had busted the door in, ready to take them down, they’d already been expecting you.

The place was full of hired mercenaries and ex-members of the SHIELD Strike team. They’d put up quite a fight. Sam, Clint, and Wanda held down the ground floor while you and Steve had made your way to the upper level. Two agents held you off in close combat while six others took on Steve at the same time. Even six to one, they were having a hard time restraining the Super Soldier, but they managed to keep him pinned just long enough to allow one of the scientists to inject him in the neck with some type of black substance.

“No!” you scream, turning absolutely feral. Throwing caution to the wind, you mercilessly take on the two agents fighting you and they soon end up on the floor.

As Steve falls to his knees, the six other agents grab the scientists and leave out the back door. You rush forward and drop down, skidding across the floor to catch Steve by the shoulders before he can faceplant into the floor.

“Steve!” you call desperately. “Steve, look at me!” Your hands grip his face, trying to guide his eyes to yours, but they’ve turned hazy and unfocused. Perspiration has begun to collect on his brow and the veins at the injection site on his neck have started to turn black.

You lift a hand to activate the commlink in your ear. “Requesting immediate evac. The Captain is down. I repeat, Captain America is down.”

The rest of the team rendezvous to your location and it takes all of you to get Steve out of there and onto the Quinjet. You grab a tablet and bring up the life sign readings programmed into his suit. You watch with dread as his heartbeat wildly fluctuates between too high and too low, while his body temperature continually climbs.

As soon as the jet has landed back at the Avengers base, he’s carted off to the infirmary, where Dr. Banner and Dr. Cho are already waiting for him. You pace up and down the hallway, unable to rest or step away for even a moment to change out of your uniform. Your stomach is tied up in knots and you can’t get the image out of your head on how his face just went completely blank as soon as they had injected him.

You halt your movements and look up when the door opens and Bruce steps out. Seeing Bruce’s face on the Hulk’s massive body was still a little unsettling, but you have started to grow used to it.

“How is he? Is he okay?” you rush out.

Bruce’s poker face is terrible as he pulls off his glasses and fails to meet your gaze. “He’s stable for now… but no, he’s not okay.”

You cup a hand to your mouth and release a pained whimper. “What-” your voice breaks and you have to clear your throat before you can try again. “Do you know what they injected him with?”

“From what we can tell, it seems to be some sort of anti-serum venom. It was made to specifically target the Super Soldier serum enhancement in Steve’s cells.”

You feel the dread sink like a weight in your stomach. “What can we do to stop it?”

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out. Wanda grabbed the syringe from the Hydra lab, so we have a small sample of the anti-serum for analysis. But without a pure sample of Steve’s Super Soldier serum, it could take months to synthesize a cure. And he doesn’t have that long.”

The lump in your throat grows and it becomes difficult to swallow. “How long does he have?” you almost don’t want to ask.

You see the answer in his eyes. “This anti-serum… it’s aggressive-”

“Bruce,” you cut him off, urgency in your gaze. “How long?”

“A few days… maybe a week.”

Your whole body blanches and you stumble a few steps until your back hits the wall. The thought alone was inconceivable. Steve… Your Steve… Gone in less than a week? Haven’t you both been through enough? You shake your head fervently, straightening your spine and pushing off the wall. “No,” you deny, allowing your anger and frustration to bolster your strength.

“Hey…” Bruce attempts to reach out to you.

“No!” you coil back. “No, I won’t let that happen.”

“We will do everything we can, but without the original serum-”

“Then I’ll get it for you,” you state with finality to your tone, a plan already forming in your mind.

Bruce looks at you, perplexed. “How?”

Instead of responding, you turn on your heel and march down the hallway. Pulling out your phone, you bring up your contacts and dial the number you need. You’re talking as soon as the line picks up. “Hey Scott, remember that favor you owe me?”

--

It takes a full day of preparation before things are ready. You grow even more anxious with every minute that passes. Every single tick of the clock is one less second Steve has to live.

Seeing him in the infirmary had nearly broken you. Dr. Banner and Dr. Cho were keeping him sedated to help slow the spread of the anti-serum, but the damage was already beginning to take its toll. It was working its way through his body like a poison, starting in the bloodstream, but if left untreated, his organs would begin to fail systematically. Normally, Steve’s Super Soldier serum would help defend his body from something like this, allowing him to metabolize it out before it could do any harm. But, somehow those Hydra scientists found a way to target the original serum first, to weaken his body’s defenses and let the venom take over. It must have taken them years of research to develop something like this and you only had days to reverse it.

You had never seen the Super Soldier look so weak and sickly. He had lost all color, his skin pale and beginning to verge into an ashen grey. He looked thinner like he had been bedridden for weeks, not just a day. His cheeks were gaunt and dark bags had appeared beneath his eyes. When you reached out to touch his hand, it was deathly cold and your heart had skipped a beat. You didn’t understand how this could be happening so fast to the strongest man you had ever known.

You’d pushed the hair off his forehead; no longer a shiny blonde, but more of a dull straw color; and pressed your lips to his skin. “You’ve come to my rescue so many times, Steve. It’s time for me to return the favor. Please, hold on, just a little longer, until I get back.” You then place a gentle kiss to his lips, a single tear dropping from your eye and landing on his cheek. You wipe at the wet trail with your thumb before you step back and release a shaking breath. “I will make it back,” you promise both to him and to yourself.

--

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come?” Bucky asks, helping you in to your quantum suit.

It’s good that most of his memories were back. He was your best source of information for getting the correct dates, times, and places so you could successfully accomplish your task. Not only that, but you had needed a quick and dirty rundown on etiquette, behavior, and style for the time period. It felt like you had enough bobby pins and hair spray to keep your hair as still as a plastic doll. Not to mention the signature red painting your lips.

“You can’t,” Bruce speaks up from where he stands behind the console for the platform. “The infinity stones were the only thing holding our reality together when we time traveled the last time. Those stones no longer exist in this reality. Since she isn’t coming back with them either, there may be repercussions from this. She should go alone because she doesn’t already exist in that timeline.”

“I’ll be okay, Bucky,” you give him a tentative smile, unsure if you’re telling the truth.

Based on the look in his eyes, you know he’s reading you easily. He gives your arm a squeeze in reassurance. “Stay out of trouble. The punk will kill me if anything happens to you.”

You nod and begin to step away, heading for the platform. You shift on your feet, mentally psyching yourself up for the journey. You release a long breath before signaling to Bruce that you’re ready. You meet Bucky’s gaze one last time. “Be right back,” you tell him before your helmet pops into place and you’re flying through the quantum realm.

--

You land in 1943 without much fuss, quickly dissolving out of your quantum suit before anyone catches you in the empty alleyway. You fix any flyaway hairs and straighten your outfit and then walk out onto the main street. It’s a bit of a trip, seeing all the old-fashioned cars driving past and the dated outfits and hairstyles that everyone wears. The movies and pictures that you’ve grown up seeing don’t quite do it justice. However, it does remind you of the sketches Steve sometimes shared with you whenever he was feeling nostalgic.

You give yourself a second to marvel at everything, but the thought of Steve helps to sharpen your focus and bring yourself back on track. You step onto the sidewalk, behind a group of young school children with their mothers in tow. Walking passed a newspaper stand; you take a quick glance at the paper to make sure you’ve landed at the correct time. Monday, June 7th, 1943.

Breathing a breath of relief, you move to the edge of the sidewalk and hail a taxi. Soft, jazzy notes fill the air of the car from the radio, helping to ease the tension in your shoulders. The song is also familiar to you, because of Steve. You give the driver the address to your destination and soon find yourself pulling up in front of Brooklyn Antiques. You pay for the taxi with a set of vintage coins you’d been able to acquire before leaving your time. You shuffle out of the taxi and head into the shop.

The bell above the door dings and you enter the space. An older woman in a soft pink sweater steps out from the backroom to greet you. “Did you hear the ball game last night?”

Your mind races as you try to recall the answer to the code that Bucky had told you about. They would change them daily and randomly rotate through a long list of them. “Yes, but I only wish I had some Cracker Jacks,” you respond.

She nods once before moving behind the cashier desk and presses the secret button beneath. You try to steady your pounding heart as you walk to the back room and stand in front of the bookshelves. After a moment, the shelves begin to move to reveal a set of hidden doors. You roll your shoulders back and walk with confidence into the hidden laboratory.

The energy in this place buzzes like a beehive. The tan military uniform you wear allows you to blend with everyone else. People give you a casual side glance before turning back to what they had previously been doing. As you walk down the hallway toward the main room, the sound of raised voices grabs your attention.

“You’ve had more than enough test runs! Stark’s machine works. Your formula is ready for development. All that’s left is the man.”

Looking to your left, you see that it’s Colonel Phillips and Dr. Erskine that are arguing inside the observation room. Dr. Erskine shakes his head, with an exasperated look on his face. “But it can’t be just any man, it has to be the right man!”

“We’ve been at this for months! Week after week, we run training exercises on a new group at Camp Lehigh, and you’ve denied every single one! Do you realize how much money this has cost us? We have to pay the scouts that send men our way. Gotta pay the buses that bring ‘em to the camp. Lodging, food, uniforms, supplies. Enough is enough. You have one week to find your man for the next round of recruitments. If you can’t find him. Then you’ll have to pick from the rest of the selection. We cannot afford to wait any longer.”

With the final word, Colonel Phillips turns and walks out of the observation room. You make sure to step back and out of his way, ducking your head slightly, so as not to draw attention to yourself. You look back up when you hear Dr. Erskine give a long drawn out sigh. He has removed his glasses and rubs at his eyes with his thumb and forefinger.

You find yourself moving forward and into the room. “Is everything all right, Doctor?” you question with a gentle voice.

He moves his glasses back into place and meets your gaze. “Not quite.” He admits, his accent a little thicker with stress in his voice. “Unless you have an idea on where we might be able to find someone actually worthy of this project.”

Your lips part as you try to come up with a response to that. “Well… Um. I’m sure the World Expo will bring all sorts of new faces in.” You cringe inwardly a little, thinking that may have been too obvious. Bruce’s words of warning echo in your ears. Get in, get out, don’t change the timeline.

Erskine’s eyes light up at that prospect. “The World Exposition? Of course. That is a wonderful idea. Stark mentioned that there was a recruitment center there. Come, let’s go take a look.”

He begins to head for the doorway and gestures for you to step through first. You hesitate. “You want me to come with you?”

He smiles kindly. “Well, it was your idea, was it not?”

So much for 'get in and get out'. Although, this could be a good thing. After all, Erskine was your ticket to the serum. Another second passes, and then you begin to move out of the observation room. You look down at the machine in the main room, knowing that one day soon, it will be used to create a Super Soldier. Erskine follows you out before taking the lead and moving toward the exit. He pulls off his lab coat and stops at a coat rack off to the side. He swaps the lab coat for a beige trench coat and his fedora.

The MP sitting at the desk right next to the secret entrance hits the button to allow you both to exit. Erskine leads you out of the antique shop and over to one of the vehicles parked nearby. The driver is already sitting in the front seat. Erskine opens the back door and gestures once more for you to enter first. You give him your thanks as you sink into the leather seat, then push over to the other side to make room for him to follow you.

Dr. Erskine gives his instructions to the driver to take you to the Expo.

You relax your posture into the cushioned seat and watch 1943 New York pass by the window.

“So, you are new,” Dr. Erskine states casually, also looking out through the window on his side of the car.

Your shoulders stiffen and your heart stops. “I…” you begin to protest before changing tactics. You laugh nervously and glance over at him. “Is it that obvious?”

He continues to look out his window as he responds. “In all the months we have been working on this project, no one has ever asked me how I am doing.” He turns away from the window then and meets your gaze.

Your own gaze softens with sincerity. “That sounds lonely.”

He tilts his head and lifts his shoulders in a slight shrug. “This is the bed that I have made. Great things can happen if my serum is used properly, but many terrible things have already come to pass.”

You know that he is talking about Red Skull. “We will find the man you need, Doctor,” you assure him.

He looks at you curiously. “How is it you sound so sure of that?”

You swallow and try not to look like a deer caught in a headlight. “I have faith,” you manage to get out.

He cracks a small smile. “Faith,” he repeats, before he releases a low chuckle. “I’m afraid as a scientist, I may need a little more than that.”

You find yourself smiling back. “Then perhaps I can try to muster enough faith for the both of us.”

“That would be appreciated,” he responds right as the car pulls to a stop. He steps out of the vehicle first before turning and reaching to take your hand to help you to your feet.

“Oh wow…” you marvel as you take in the sights of the Expo before you.

The giant metal sculpture of the globe looms over everything, casting its shadow over the crowds as people hurry passed in excited groups, eager to see the exhibits. A monorail train curls around the globe and zooms past in a rush of metallic sound.

“You have not yet seen the Exposition?” Dr. Erskine asks curiously.

You find it difficult to pull your eyes away from the sights. “I haven’t had the time,” you speak honestly.

“I heard that several of the soldiers were planning to take the other women to Stark’s show this weekend. I’m sure you could join them.” He speaks casually as he begins to head for the recruitment station.

“Those men don’t interest me.” You follow behind, looking around as you do.

Dr. Erskine grins to himself. “Fair enough.”

The two of you continue on your way. Before you can make it inside the building, though, a voice calls out “Dr. Erskine!”

A man in an expensive-looking suit walks up to you both. He has dark hair, a thin mustache, and a dashing smile. A smile with confidence that you recognize.

“Mr. Stark,” the Doctor greets, shaking his hand.

“What brings you all the way out here? I thought you never left your lab, save for heading out to Camp Lehigh. And who is this?” Howard’s eyes trace down the length of your body, an appreciation settling into his features.

You raise a brow, barely able to contain your amusement between this Stark and the one you’ve known. “She’s not interested,” you reply bluntly.

Erskine laughs while Stark’s lips part in momentary shock. With a shake of his head, he shrugs off the rejection and his lips return to a charming grin. “Where are you and Phillips finding these girls? First Agent Carter, now this one?”

“You were commissioned for the head on your shoulders, Mr. Stark. The females working on this project should be of no concern to you.” The somewhat harsh blow of Erskine’s words is softened by the smile of amusement on his face.

Howard doesn’t take it to heart, laughing as well. “I understand. Well, can I at least show you both around?”

“We are actually here to observe the recruitment station. The Colonel has given us a week to find our man. We were hoping the selection here might provide something new.”

“Ah,” Howard remarks. “Well then, I won’t keep you. Feel free to stop by the Modern Marvel’s Pavilion. Perhaps we can all grab lunch.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark,” Erskine neither confirms nor denies the invitation and ushers you into the recruitment center.

“He’s certainly a handful,” you comment, no longer able to hold your amusement.

Erskine releases a long sigh. “Sometimes it is a wonder that he can get anything accomplished. His mind is brilliant, but he can be easily distracted. Though, I am starting to wonder… if not even the great Howard Stark can hold your interest, I am fascinated to find out the man that will.”

You can’t help but laugh at that. “Maybe you will meet him one day.”

Dr. Erskine speaks with the head physician of the recruitment office, establishing a protocol for directing prospective enlisters his way for additional questioning. He then gives you instructions on the qualities he is looking for, so you can also help to keep an eye out with him.

You spend the day interviewing enlisters. You pretend to be invested, but know that none of them are going to be the correct one. Steve isn’t supposed to show up to this recruitment center until this weekend after Stark’s big show. You had planned to drop into the timeline several days before his recruitment, in case you needed the extra time to get your hands on a sample of serum. Your first day wasn’t quite going as expected, but it could be worse.

Erskine comes to collect you at the end of the day to see how your interviews have been going. When he offers for you to join him for dinner, you readily agree, only then realizing how hungry you are. The two of you walk away from the crowds of the Expo and back into the city.

You find a small family-owned diner to grab a quick bite to eat. Getting seated at a booth near the windows, you watch the people pass by while you wait for your food to come.

“My apologies for taking so long to ask, but I have come to realize that I do not know your name,” Dr. Erskine pulls your attention back to him.

“Oh,” you start. Realizing that you also had never introduced yourself. “Well, my friends call me Vic.”

“Friends?” he repeats with a raised brow.

You realize your mistake a little too late. As the head scientist of the SSR, he was technically considered your superior. It’s been so long since you’ve worked with a superior that wasn’t your friend. Also, with one that you weren’t sleeping with…

You clear your throat and try again. “What I mean is that I haven’t really gone by my given name in a long time. It almost feels foreign whenever I do hear it.”

Erskine looks at you curiously. “And this Vic name was given to you by your friends?”

“Yes,” you confirm, before growing a little shy. “It’s actually short for Lady Victory,” you explain, your face heating in embarrassment. You’ve never actually had to be the one explaining it to anyone.

“Lady Victory?” he repeats, both brows now raised in intrigue. “And how did you manage to earn that name?”

“Well,” you laugh lightly. “It started after a few successful rounds of poker.” That makes Erskine laugh as well. “But, once I started working in the field, the name stuck. I became a lucky charm of sorts. Everyone would say that there was no way we could fail as long as Lady Victory was on our side. And that held true, at least until…” Your voice falls away and your eyes grow hollow. At least until the last mission.

“You have been to the war front?”

You pull yourself out of your dark thoughts and focus back on the doctor. “No. Not this war, at least. But I have seen war. Up close. It’s never easy.”

Erskine nods in agreement. He sits quietly for a moment, considering your words. “Have you considered submitting yourself as a candidate for Project Rebirth?”

You had reached for your glass of water and taken a sip when he asked his question. You choke upon swallowing the drink. So much for not screwing up the timeline. You’re pretty sure this conversation was never supposed to happen. You set your glass back down and attempt to cough the water out from where it’s trying to reach your lungs.

“I am sorry, I did not mean to startle you. But I must admit, you do have several of the qualities I am looking for in a candidate.”

After you’ve managed to catch your breath, you try to figure out the best way out of this. “The offer is generous, but that’s not my destiny.”

“What happened to faith?” Dr. Erskine smiles cryptically.

“I have faith that we will find the right person. But I know that isn’t me.” You release a breath of relief when the waitress arrives with the food. “Besides, can you imagine the Colonel’s reaction if you were to tell him you had picked a woman for the project?”

Erskine shrugs his shoulder. “He has been making his threats for months, but he knows that I will not make the serum until we have a candidate that I approve of.”

You can actually hear the record scratch sound effect going off in your mind. “Wait, I thought the Colonel said your formula was ready.”

“The formula, yes. I have all the ingredients ready. But the serum itself must be used within hours of preparation or the components will begin to degrade. It is a side effect from some of the ingredients used, but also works as a failsafe, should anyone think that they could steal it.”

You try to keep your face neutral, but internally your heart is sinking. This means that you coming early was a wasted effort and your only shot at getting a sample of the serum would be the day they turn Steve into a Super Soldier. And not only that but if you did manage to get your hands on a sample, it could degrade before being of any use to Dr. Banner.

In an effort to keep the despair off your face, you steer the conversation away and start to dig into the food that you no longer feel hungry for. Dr. Erskine turns out to be fairly good company and enjoys regaling you with tales of his home in Germany. It helps to keep him talking, so you can mentally plan just how you’re going to make it through these next few weeks, stuck in 1943.

Erskine offers to cover the cost of dinner, which you agree to, but only if he will let you pay for the next meal. He seems caught off guard by your proposal but then agrees with a quiet chuckle. As you prepare to leave, he places his fedora back onto his head and folds his coat over his arm. He then holds the door open as you exit the diner.

You both walk down the sidewalk in the direction toward the expo, occasionally needing to move behind one another to make room for people heading in the other direction. A flash of movement catches your attention from across the street. You narrow your gaze at the two men walking in the same direction as you and Erskine. They are both wearing fairly nondescript outfits in dark, neutral tones. Also wearing fedoras that they use to shadow their eyes. You notice one has a camera in his hands.

You quicken your steps to match up with the doctor, then wrap your arm through his. He looks down at you slightly startled, but you don’t pay him any mind. “Darling, that dress is lovely. Why don’t we take a look inside?” You point toward the display of a boutique and quickly usher him into the shop.

“Miss Vic, we really should be heading back to the recruitment center,” Dr. Erskine begins to protest.

You hush him and pull him deeper into the shop. “We were being followed. I noticed those two men loitering outside the bar across the street when we were at the diner. They stayed the whole time and didn’t begin to move until we did.”

“Are you certain?” he questions, looking back, but you’ve already pulled him too far into the shop.

“I am. One of them pulled out a camera and was trying to take pictures of you.”

“Hello, how can I help you?” the shop attendant takes that moment to make herself known.

You put a sweet smile into your face. “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you have a back door? It seems we’ve gotten a little turned around and we’re actually supposed to be on the next street over.”

The woman looks at you curiously, “Oh, we do, but it leads to a back alley, not the main street.”

“That’s all right. I’m sure we’ll find our way. Thank you!” Before she can come up with a response, you’re pulling Erskine after you and out the back. You check to make sure the coast is clear, before dragging him out. You run as fast as you can in your heels down the back alley toward the next street. You stop just short of the alley opening and press your back into the brick wall. Peaking around the corner, you find that the men aren’t anywhere to be seen.

You step out with Erskine and quickly hail a taxi. Not conforming to societal rules, you yank open the back door and shove him into the seat. “Don’t head directly for the expo. Drive aimlessly first, check for any tails. If you don’t see any, stop and switch to a new taxi before heading back.”

“What are you going to do?” he questions, still thrown off by what’s happening.

“I’m going to make sure they won’t follow you.”

You quickly shut the door to the cab and bang on the top to send it off. You then duck back into the alley. You’re almost to the back entrance of the boutique when the two men come stumbling out.

“You boys lost?” you question with an innocent tone to your voice. The two take one look at you before looking around for your charge. “I’m afraid it’s just the three of us.”

“We ain’t got no beef with you, Toots,” one of the men states in a heavy Brooklyn accent.

Your innocent façade drops instantly. Darting forward, you grab the man by the lapel of his coat. You use his surprise against him to swing his whole body around and slam his back into the brick wall. Your movement knocks the wind out of him and you quickly pin your forearm to the base of his neck to keep him from being able to regain his breath. “Who you callin’ Toots?” you question with a deadly tone in your voice.

“Geez, lady!” The man chokes out, raising his hands in surrender.

“Back up, if you don’t want to get hurt!”

You look over your shoulder to find the other one has a pistol aimed at you. Rolling your eyes, you release the first one and step back, your own hands now up in surrender. In a flash, you whip your arm out, grasping the gun and kick your foot out, straight into his knee. His leg buckles from beneath him and he loosens his hold on the gun as he falls.

You take the weapon into your own hands, holding it over him, while he kneels at your feet. “I think you’ll find that it’s actually you who should be worried about getting hurt, Toots,” you tell him, sarcasm dripping from your tone.

You catch the movement of the man’s eyes and turn back toward his partner, just a moment too late. The sound of a gun firing echoes down the alley moments before pain explodes in your side.

You cry out, barely managing to keep your grip on your own gun as you stumble into the brick wall.

“You shot her?!” the one kneeling bellows.

“She had a gun to your head!” The other argues.

“Red Skull’s gonna kill us if he finds out we were caught!”

“Not if we finish her off,” the one that shot you once begins to turn.

Your hand shakes as you try to raise your gun back up to defend yourself.

“Hey! Get away from her!” A new voice enters the fray.

The two men look to see someone else running into the alley. They are coming from your back and you fear if you attempt to look at who it is, you might pass out from the pain.

“Let’s get out of here,” the one that shot you tucks his gun away and helps pull the other to their feet. They take off before the newcomer can reach them.

“Miss, are you alright?”

This gunshot wound must be affecting you more than you thought because you could swear their voice sounds like-

Gentle hands grasp your shoulders as you stumble. You lift your head to meet a worried gaze. Soft blue eyes, framed by thick lashes, and two furrowed brows. It’s a look you’re all too familiar with and it always makes your heart clench.

Seeing it this time also makes your head swoon and your stomach flip. “Steve?” you barely manage to get out before your legs collapse.

Part 2

[neurosengarten]

• Learn how to learn from those you disagree with, or even offend you. See if you can find the truth in what they believe.

• Being enthusiastic is worth 25 IQ points.

• Always demand a deadline. A deadline weeds out the extraneous and the ordinary. It prevents you from trying to make it perfect, so you have to make it different. Different is better.

• Don’t be afraid to ask a question that may sound stupid because 99% of the time everyone else is thinking of the same question and is too embarrassed to ask it.

• Being able to listen well is a superpower. While listening to someone you love keep asking them “Is there more?”, until there is no more.

• A worthy goal for a year is to learn enough about a subject so that you can’t believe how ignorant you were a year earlier.

• Gratitude will unlock all other virtues and is something you can get better at.

• Treating a person to a meal never fails, and is so easy to do. It’s powerful with old friends and a great way to make new friends.

• Don’t trust all-purpose glue.

• Reading to your children regularly will bond you together and kickstart their imaginations.

• Never use a credit card for credit. The only kind of credit, or debt, that is acceptable is debt to acquire something whose exchange value is extremely likely to increase, like in a home. The exchange value of most things diminishes or vanishes the moment you purchase them. Don’t be in debt to losers.

• Pros are just amateurs who know how to gracefully recover from their mistakes.

• Extraordinary claims should require extraordinary evidence to be believed.

• Don’t be the smartest person in the room. Hangout with, and learn from, people smarter than yourself. Even better, find smart people who will disagree with you.

• Rule of 3 in conversation. To get to the real reason, ask a person to go deeper than what they just said. Then again, and once more. The third time’s answer is close to the truth.

• Don’t be the best. Be the only.

• Everyone is shy. Other people are waiting for you to introduce yourself to them, they are waiting for you to send them an email, they are waiting for you to ask them on a date. Go ahead.

• Don’t take it personally when someone turns you down. Assume they are like you: busy, occupied, distracted. Try again later. It’s amazing how often a second try works.

• The purpose of a habit is to remove that action from self-negotiation. You no longer expend energy deciding whether to do it. You just do it. Good habits can range from telling the truth, to flossing.

• Promptness is a sign of respect.

• When you are young spend at least 6 months to one year living as poor as you can, owning as little as you possibly can, eating beans and rice in a tiny room or tent, to experience what your “worst” lifestyle might be. That way any time you have to risk something in the future you won’t be afraid of the worst case scenario.

• Trust me: There is no “them”.

• The more you are interested in others, the more interesting they find you. To be interesting, be interested.

• Optimize your generosity. No one on their deathbed has ever regretted giving too much away.

• To make something good, just do it. To make something great, just re-do it, re-do it, re-do it. The secret to making fine things is in remaking them.

• The Golden Rule will never fail you. It is the foundation of all other virtues.

• If you are looking for something in your house, and you finally find it, when you’re done with it, don’t put it back where you found it. Put it back where you first looked for it.

• Saving money and investing money are both good habits. Small amounts of money invested regularly for many decades without deliberation is one path to wealth.

• To make mistakes is human. To own your mistakes is divine. Nothing elevates a person higher than quickly admitting and taking personal responsibility for the mistakes you make and then fixing them fairly. If you mess up, fess up. It’s astounding how powerful this ownership is.

• Never get involved in a land war in Asia.

• You can obsess about serving your customers/audience/clients, or you can obsess about beating the competition. Both work, but of the two, obsessing about your customers will take you further.

• Show up. Keep showing up. Somebody successful said: 99% of success is just showing up.

• Separate the processes of creation from improving. You can’t write and edit, or sculpt and polish, or make and analyze at the same time. If you do, the editor stops the creator. While you invent, don’t select. While you sketch, don’t inspect. While you write the first draft, don’t reflect. At the start, the creator mind must be unleashed from judgement.

• If you are not falling down occasionally, you are just coasting.

• Perhaps the most counter-intuitive truth of the universe is that the more you give to others, the more you’ll get. Understanding this is the beginning of wisdom.

• Friends are better than money. Almost anything money can do, friends can do better. In so many ways a friend with a boat is better than owning a boat.

• This is true: It’s hard to cheat an honest man.

• When an object is lost, 95% of the time it is hiding within arm’s reach of where it was last seen. Search in all possible locations in that radius and you’ll find it.

• You are what you do. Not what you say, not what you believe, not how you vote, but what you spend your time on.

��� If you lose or forget to bring a cable, adapter or charger, check with your hotel. Most hotels now have a drawer full of cables, adapters and chargers others have left behind, and probably have the one you are missing. You can often claim it after borrowing it.

• Hatred is a curse that does not affect the hated. It only poisons the hater. Release a grudge as if it was a poison.

• There is no limit on better. Talent is distributed unfairly, but there is no limit on how much we can improve what we start with.

• Be prepared: When you are 90% done any large project (a house, a film, an event, an app) the rest of the myriad details will take a second 90% to complete.

• When you die you take absolutely nothing with you except your reputation.

• Before you are old, attend as many funerals as you can bear, and listen. Nobody talks about the departed’s achievements. The only thing people will remember is what kind of person you were while you were achieving.

• For every dollar you spend purchasing something substantial, expect to pay a dollar in repairs, maintenance, or disposal by the end of its life.

•Anything real begins with the fiction of what could be. Imagination is therefore the most potent force in the universe, and a skill you can get better at. It’s the one skill in life that benefits from ignoring what everyone else knows.

• When crisis and disaster strike, don’t waste them. No problems, no progress.

• On vacation go to the most remote place on your itinerary first, bypassing the cities. You’ll maximize the shock of otherness in the remote, and then later you’ll welcome the familiar comforts of a city on the way back.

• When you get an invitation to do something in the future, ask yourself: would you accept this if it was scheduled for tomorrow? Not too many promises will pass that immediacy filter.

• Don’t say anything about someone in email you would not be comfortable saying to them directly, because eventually they will read it.

• If you desperately need a job, you are just another problem for a boss; if you can solve many of the problems the boss has right now, you are hired. To be hired, think like your boss.

• Art is in what you leave out.

• Acquiring things will rarely bring you deep satisfaction. But acquiring experiences will.

• Rule of 7 in research. You can find out anything if you are willing to go seven levels. If the first source you ask doesn’t know, ask them who you should ask next, and so on down the line. If you are willing to go to the 7th source, you’ll almost always get your answer.

• How to apologize: Quickly, specifically, sincerely.

• Don’t ever respond to a solicitation or a proposal on the phone. The urgency is a disguise.

• When someone is nasty, rude, hateful, or mean with you, pretend they have a disease. That makes it easier to have empathy toward them which can soften the conflict.

• Eliminating clutter makes room for your true treasures.

• You really don’t want to be famous. Read the biography of any famous person.

• Experience is overrated. When hiring, hire for aptitude, train for skills. Most really amazing or great things are done by people doing them for the first time.

• A vacation + a disaster = an adventure.

• Buying tools: Start by buying the absolute cheapest tools you can find. Upgrade the ones you use a lot. If you wind up using some tool for a job, buy the very best you can afford.

• Learn how to take a 20-minute power nap without embarrassment.

• Following your bliss is a recipe for paralysis if you don’t know what you are passionate about. A better motto for most youth is “master something, anything”. Through mastery of one thing, you can drift towards extensions of that mastery that bring you more joy, and eventually discover where your bliss is.

• I’m positive that in 100 years much of what I take to be true today will be proved to be wrong, maybe even embarrassingly wrong, and I try really hard to identify what it is that I am wrong about today.

• Over the long term, the future is decided by optimists. To be an optimist you don’t have to ignore all the many problems we create; you just have to imagine improving our capacity to solve problems.

• The universe is conspiring behind your back to make you a success. This will be much easier to do if you embrace this pronoia.

[argent-vulpine]

The Act of Falling

Fandom: Fire Emblem Three Houses

Rating: G

Characters: Sylvain/F!Byleth

Sylveth Weekend 2020 - Day 1 - Flirt/Crush

Read it on AO3

Byleth stared at the young man in front of her. He looked to be perhaps only a year or two younger than her, if that, and already he almost towered above her. She imagined he might have one last growth spurt, and then she’d likely be craning her neck even further.

As it was, she’d already had to take a half-step back in order to avoid neck strain.

The tall redhead was giving her an easy grin – too easy, and more fake than even Claude’s – while he asked if he could transfer to her class. She’d been warned about him before. Skirt-chaser. Philanderer. A dozen other words sparked by a dozen more rumors.

Her impassive face gave nothing away as she studied him, scrutinized the flirtatious way he’d addressed her, the way he was grinning lazily. Beneath it all, though, she could see a spark of… something.

“Okay. Put in the paperwork and get things arranged. If your current professor signs off, be in the classroom at the start of next week.”

Sylvain’s eyes – honey-brown and oddly cold – registered a moment of surprise before he gave her that too-fake grin. “Sure thing, professor! I’ll get right on that!”

After he’d gone, Claude stepped out of the classroom, an eyebrow cocked in question. “Really, Teach? Sylvain?”

She turned to face her house’s leader, studying him. “Play him in a game of chess sometime, Claude,” she said simply. “I’ll see you at dinner.”

It didn’t take a genius to know that the Gautier heir had requested to move to her class because she was a woman. But Byleth hadn’t become the Ashen Demon overnight, and she certainly hadn’t gained that moniker solely because of her prowess on the battlefield. Claude might be a schemer, and one day he would be a brilliant tactician, she was sure of it. But she was here to teach them the finer points of battle or even war.

And Sylvain, for all his florid words and overt advances, had the right mind for it. He would be wasted under the tutelage of another.

Claude gave a hummed assent, taking her words under advisement. She appreciated that about him, that he knew when to stop pushing and to listen. Schemes wouldn’t get you far if you didn’t have solid tactics underneath. “Yeah, Teach, see you at dinner.”

He watched as she walked away, boot-heels clicking on the stone path.

——————

Sylvain joined them for dinner that night, the three of them having selected the pheasant roast, which Byleth was eating with enthusiasm, pausing every so often to interject the conversation between her two dining companions and patently ignoring all of Sylvain’s overly-flirtatious comments.

“Say, Teach, could we go over that field formation again?” asked Claude, completely off the original topic.

She paused, fork halfway to her mouth. “Which one?” she asked, taking the bite and savoring it while she waited for his answer.

“The bow and lance one. I think Sylvain here would benefit from it, don’t you think? And I’m still not sure I understand how it really works,” he added, the admission clearly a lot from him.

At the mention of the formation, Sylvain had straightened up, a subtle shift in his demeanor that indicated he was definitely interested… and definitely paying attention. His eyes sharpened, though he kept that fake smiled fixed to his face.

Byleth set her silverware down, looking between the two of them, and then gave a soft, short sigh. “Sure, I can do that. Where are you stuck at with it?”

“Well, shouldn’t a formation include short-range fighters, too, like sword or axe? Why only long- and mid-range for this one?”

She nodded understanding. “I see. This formation is a ground version of a mounted squad. Ideally, the archers would be airborne on wyvern or pegasi,” she said, nodding toward Claude, “while the lancers would be mounted on horseback for an added advantage. The ground formation allows the lancers and archers to learn how to work together before adding in the complexity of mounts, while still being a fairly effective unit on the whole.”

As she spoke, Byleth sketched invisible lines with her fingers, the two young men focused on her movements and for once not making ridiculous comments. “Lancers, as you pointed out, are most excellent at mid-range. They have the reach, but they can be effective at short range as well. I’ll go over some close-range tactics with you next week.” That was addressed to Sylvain, who glanced up briefly, eyes widening before he nodded eagerly.

“The lancers protect the archers in this scenario, which allows archers who are comfortable with close-range shooting to get off a few shots if needed, while keeping other units from advancing on their lancers. A sword or axe isn’t really necessary here, though you could put one in the middle. Someone with a little magical ability, who could heal in a pinch or deal some extra damage, perhaps.”

Though her face didn’t change at all, her fingers tapped on the table, an indicator of deep thought. Both of her dining companions zeroed in on that movement, each studying in their own way. Byleth either didn’t notice the intense study, or she didn’t care.

“The more versatile your close-range fighter is, the better,” she finally said. “They’d be the odd person out, in this scenario, especially they’re unlikely to be mounted in the future. Better to not worry about including one at all for the time being.”

“When you do have mounts, how would the formation change?” Sylvain this time, leaning forward. “Lancers in a mounted phalanx with the archers airborne, right?”

She nodded. “Exactly. Air units are more maneuverable. They can cover a lot of distance, and they have advantage on ground troops. Of course, lancers can work from the air, as well, but that’s not what this formation is about. Air coverage is for the archers – and perhaps ranged mages – while the ground is protected by your lancers. It’s a good way to punch through enemy lines, clear the way for your foot troops like swords, axes, and the rest of your mages.”

A large shadow approached, catching Byleth’s attention. She looked up, something about her face softening the slightest bit when she saw who it was. “Hey Dad,” she said, waving for him to sit.

He did, looking at her dining companions with a raised brow. “Hey kid. You’re running late, I was getting worried.”

She glanced up at the windows, gauging the time. “Oh. Sorry. Let me finish eating and then we can go.”

He nodded, waiting patiently. Indulgently, even, watching her shovel down the rest of her pheasant. As she stood, she pointed to each of the students in turn. “Claude, air patrol tomorrow. Do not ‘forget’ again, or you’ll have a much less pleasant partner to work with next time. And you, Sylvain. You’re not official yet, but Hanneman has already agreed to it. You’ve got stable duty.”

When they both moved to protest, Jeralt took that moment to lean forward, interrupting. “Stop and think about why she’s assigning these tasks to you before you mouth off,” he advised, standing and offering his daughter a hand up.

Father and daughter left, the two chatting amiably. Whatever Byleth was saying made Jeralt laugh, clapping her on the back with enough force anyone else would have staggered. Sylvain and Claude watched in silence for a long moment before the Golden Deer leader turned in his seat, giving the redhead a long look.

“Well, I guess it’s official, then. Welcome to the Golden Deer.” A beat. “How did you like your first lesson?”

Sylvain returned the look, sizing the other man up. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” he finally asked.

Claude only gave him a knowing grin. “Teach is right. I think you’ll learn a lot from her. Hope you’re able to keep up.” The brunette stood, gathering both his and Byleth’s plates. “Oh, and, a word of advice?” When Sylvain looked up at him, giving him a puzzled frown but nodding assent, Claude continued. “Don’t flirt with Teach the way you do all the other girls. It won’t get you anywhere.”

With that he left, giving a jaunty salute with his free hand as he walked off and leaving a scowling Sylvain in his wake.

——————

On his only true free day that weekend, Byleth appeared at his door, knocking politely on the door frame and waiting until he looked up from his desk. “Are you available this afternoon?” she asked, face as blank as ever. “For you I can be,” he said with a sly grin, which she openly ignored. “What’s the occasion?” “Tea,” she said simply. “On the third bell, at the gazebo in the garden.” Sylvain paused, hovering by the door and looking briefly uncertain. “… yeah, I can do that,” he finally said. Byleth nodded, exactly once, as she always seemed to do. “No need to bring anything,” she said, stepping away. “Third bell, don’t forget.” “Yeah, I won’t. See you then, Professor.” A tea date with a gorgeous woman? Who was he to turn that down… even if she was his teacher? Maybe especially so.

——————

Sylvain was, in fact, early. It hadn’t taken him nearly as long to get to the gazebo as he’d thought it would, but perhaps that was a good thing. Surely the professor would appreciate a few minutes early. He could see her there already, a pot of tea already on the table though it didn’t look as if she’d started the steeping just yet.

She moved to her seat, glancing up as he approached, and gestured for him to take the seat opposite her. It was only then that he noticed she’d set up a board game on the table as well.

He grinned at her, settling into the seat. “Hope I’m not too early,” he said, nodding to the teapot as she lifted the lid.

“It’s fine. Is bergamot okay?” she asked, putting a sachet of the tea into the pot without waiting for an answer.

He leaned back, a little surprised. “More than. It’s my favorite, in fact,” he replied, watching her with a critical eye. If she’d known that, she gave nothing away, merely giving a soft hum of acknowledgement.

“I brought an Almyran game that my father taught me. Would you like to learn how to play?” she asked, gesturing to the board. It looked simple enough, a five-by-five grid with black and white tokens. A single empty space was in the very center, and that was what intrigued him. It meant the game had a forced start; how many ways could it be played after that?

“Sounds fun. How does it work?”

She called the game alquerque, explaining the rules to him while the tea steeped, then set the pieces up before pouring them both a cup of tea.

“I’m trying to get to know each of my students a little better,” she said, moving her piece. “Mercenary groups don’t really have this kind of… environment. A lot of the stories are exaggerated, and you only really care much about what they’re capable of, not so much who they are. So this is a little different for me. I thought perhaps tea would be a good way to get to know people, aside from the sparring ground.”

He moved his own piece, nodding in understanding. He imagined the academy maintained a slower pace than what she was used to. Or at least a different sort of pace. “So you’re getting to know us. Our fighting style from spars, and… who we are as people through this?” he asked, taking a sip of the tea.

That agreeing hum again, accompanied by a nod. “Something along those lines. You can learn a lot about a person by what they say, or do… or how they play a game,” she said pointedly. “I had a feeling that you would like games of strategy.”

“Ah, you caught me out. You’re more observant than you seem at first glance,” he remarked, giving her an appraising look.

She stared back, her eyes boring into him, as if they could see through him. It was… unnerving, in a way. “I could say the same about you,” she finally offered, carefully taking a sip of her tea.

He caught the faintest crinkling of her nose before she set the cup down, adding a dollop of cream to sweeten it. Interesting. “What’s your favorite tea?” he asked as he studied the board for his next move.

“I don’t know yet.” Sylvain looked up at that, surprised, and caught the tiniest bit of movement at the corners of her lips. An almost-smile? “Not a lot of opportunities to have tea in the field, and dad prefers… other kinds of drinks.” She gave a faint shrug. “So I’m testing as I go. This one isn’t bad with the cream,” she added after taking a sip.

He moved his piece, biting back on a smile. “So do you like sweeter drinks, then?”

“Hard to say, I suppose. Sweet is fine. Fruity is also fine? Your move,” she said, drawing his attention back to the board. He hadn’t even seen her take her turn.

Sylvain knew he was going to lose. He was at a disadvantage, having never played before, and even then he could tell she was quite skilled at strategy games, herself. But he could at least give it a serious effort. “So, that formation you were talking about at dinner the other day,” he began, frowning down at the board. “If you had to arrange it from your current class, how would you organize it.”

“You and Lorenz as primary lancers – don’t make that face, you’ll have to learn to work with him – with a squad each of lancers under your command. Claude and Leonie as the archers. She can be back-up lance if needed, but I think she’ll really take to flying and she’ll be better as an airborne archer. Also with their own squads.” She tapped the table with her fingers. “Marianne as your healer, probably. Once she learns the sword a bit, so she can defend herself, she’ll make an excellent healer for such a mobile group. And she’s good with horses.” The last was added almost as an afterthought.

Marianne was who he’d had stable duty with, and he could see where the comment came from. “She really dotes on Dorte, doesn’t she?” he asked with a grin.

“A couple more months and she should be able to pass the mounted certification. A mounted healer would be much more efficient, and Dorte can keep her safe.”

“So this grouping, you’re planning for all of us to earn our mount certifications, aren’t you?” he asked, placing his token on the board.

“You, Lorenz, and Marianne on horseback. Claude on wyvern and Leonie on pegasus.” She reached out and took a sweet biscuit from the tower, nibbling on it. “You would cover the most ground, clear the way for the rest. Raphael can’t do it, he’s too valuable as a brawler. Ignatz is no good on a mount. Hilda… possibly, but she’s best with an axe and doesn’t fit this particular formation. I’ll probably attach her as the battering ram to the ground patrol.”

“She’ll complain about it,” he remarked, having already seen enough of Hilda and her comments about her supposed frailty. No one who’d ever heard of Holst really believed that… did they?

“She can complain, but she cares about her friends too much to let them get hurt if she can help it.”

“So what about Lysithea, then?”

“Gremory. She’ll be on foot, but she packs a very powerful magical punch. You should watch her training some time.”

He gave a low whistle, impressed despite himself. “Okay. And if you get any more transfers from the other classes?” When she looked up questioningly, he shrugged. “I’m far from the only one who was interested, I was just the first.”

“Then I’ll work them into existing formations or make new ones utilizing their talents.”

“That easy?”

“It only looks easy. Evaluating your skills is the hard part on my end; you all learning to work together… that’s the hard part on yours.” She took another bite of the biscuit. “I am fully aware that Lorenz… rubs people the wrong way. However, he is a good fighter and will make a good leader, as well. The same as you will.” She paused, setting the sweet confection down. “Incidentally, the both of you will begin learning reason magic immediately, alongside further lance and horsemanship instruction.”

“You want me… wielding magic?”

Byleth gave him a long, calculating look. He shivered under her scrutiny. “You’re well-suited for it,” was what she settled on saying. She must have seen the disbelieving look on his face, because she gave a slight sigh. “You elected to transfer to my class. Regardless of your reasons, you have to trust that I will guide you toward what is right for you.”

That did earn him pause. His outward reason for changing classes was… well, it was definitely playing to what he knew people said about him. Skirt-chaser. If people thought that was why he’d transferred, he would let them. But he’d seen how she’d handled herself in the training grounds, heard the stories from the field. Ashen Demon, they called her, in hushed whispers.

And he’d wanted to know. To know, and see, and learn.

Somehow, he suspected she knew that.

They continued conversation, whiling away the time and playing the game, until all the tea was drunk. He lost, as he’d known he would, but she gave him the game as a gift, telling him to study up how to play, practice, and they’d play again some time.

When he finally left, heading back to his room to drop off the game, he couldn’t help but wonder why he felt… lighter, somehow.

——————

Tea with the professor became something of a trend. Sometimes it would be in the middle of the week, after classes. He saw her with other students from time to time, though it seemed to taper off to a regular handful after a while. A handful that included himself and Claude… and Felix, once his friend had finally caved and joined him in the Golden Deer.

Sylvain felt a flare of jealousy when Felix became the professor’s adjutant, backing her up in battle and heading the battalion she commanded. He squashed it, reasoning that it only made sense. Felix was an excellent swordsman, and the professor was not tied to a formation the way others were. She went where she was needed. And truthfully, Sylvain trusted his friend to keep their professor safe, if it came to it.

He chose not to dwell on the question of why he even cared.

Not, of course, that it stopped a certain someone from commenting on it.

He was on his way back to the dorm after another tea and game session with the professor when Claude slid into step with him, tossing an arm around Sylvain’s shoulders as if they were best buddies. “So, Gautier, what’s up with you and Teach, huh?” asked the brunette with a broad grin.

Sylvain tried to push him off, already irritable, but the house leader refused to be dislodged. If anything, his grip seemed to tighten. “Nothing’s going on.” That flash of jealousy again, this time at Claude. He knew the other man spent as much time with their professor as he did.

She spent the most time with all of her tacticians, a fact he could understand, but which still rankled… for some reason.

“Oho, is it possible our little Sylvain has a genuine crush on Teach?” Claude asked, his grin widening further. It shouldn’t have been possible for someone to have such a shit-eating grin on their face and still somehow manage to look annoyed, but Claude pulled it off.

“Sure I do. Who doesn’t? She’s quite the looker, wouldn’t you say?”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought you’d say.” He sighed, forcing Sylvain to stop walking. “Look… I consider her a good friend and a valuable ally. And I think that she considers you and I the same. Don’t do something that’ll screw that up for you.”

It was probably too late for that, after the way he’d acted when she caught him in the town, breaking things off with his latest fling. Then again, she hadn’t brought those incidents up, and he was still attending tea with her, still part of her dinner rotation.

“Fine, fine. Whatever will get you to go away.” He managed to get out from Claude’s grasp, walking briskly away and doing his best to hide the scowl on his face.

——————

Sylvain wondered where the year had gone, to have flown by so quickly that they were already arrived at the White Heron Cup, the ball… all of it. Thanks to the professor – and Claude, he grudgingly admitted – they had handily won the Battle of the Eagle and Lion, and with Dorothea now in their class, they had easily smashed the competition, making Dorothea the year’s certified dancer.

He was oddly proud of the Golden Deer, a class full of misfits that had taken him in, too, despite… well, everything. He’d been given a chance, and had somehow flourished under the professor. Perhaps the only one truly surprised by that was him.

And now it was the night of the ball, and he was watching her dance the first dance of the evening with Claude. He was watching them out of the corner of his eye, pretending not to pay attention while chatting with a student whose name he hadn’t even caught, until she got huffy at his lack of attention and stomped away.

Felix replaced her, raising a dark brow and shoving a drink into Sylvain’s hands. “You look like you bit into something sour,” the swordsman remarked, following the redhead’s gaze onto the floor. “So. You really like her, don’t you? … huh.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

His friend smirked up at him. “Not a damn thing. Try not to do anything too stupid.” With that, the man stalked off, no doubt intending to slip out of the ball while no one was looking.

The dance ended, and another one began, with the professor being whisked off by Ferdinand, of all people. Sylvain groaned; he’d been hoping to ask for a dance. Well, he’d just have to keep trying.

Except that every time a song ended and he was almost there, someone else claimed a dance from Byleth. Lorenz, not willing to be shown up by Ferdinand. Ignatz and then Raphael. Even Dorothea claimed a dance from their teacher!

He had given up all hope of claiming a dance when he saw Byleth slip out of the door. Going somewhere? Against his better judgment, Sylvain followed, keeping a fair distance behind. When he saw her head into the Goddess Tower, his heart skipped a beat. Was he… too late?

And just where did that thought even come from? He shook his head, attempting to clear it, and watched for a few moments longer. No one had gone in after her; perhaps there was already someone there. Claude, perhaps?

Well, there was only one way to find out. He slipped into the tower, cautiously ascending the stairs, only to find her… alone.

Felix’s warning not to do something stupid was remembered a hair too late.

——————

And then it didn’t matter anymore. His mishap at the Goddess Tower, firmly sticking his foot in his mouth (he was pretty sure he could actually taste shoe leather), and even finally gaining the coveted dance after all faded in comparison to what came next.

Jeralt’s death, a hole in the sky out of which Byleth stepped a changed woman, the strange rite that Lady Rhea had intended her to take (he agreed with Claude that something was fishy about that), and then… Edelgard’s betrayal.

The Adrestian Empire, now under Edelgard’s control. The attack on the monastery, the Immaculate One appearing… and Byleth’s fall.

It was the last time he would see her for a long, long time.

[heyyyharry]

My Girl Series: Chapter 14 - Home Truth

…in which Y/N discovers a family secret, and Harry is in despair.

Series description: Y/N falls in love with the older boy next door who doesn’t feel the same, years later they meet again at a funeral.

AU: actor!harry, older!harry, younger!y/n; (4-year age gap)

Chapter 13: Ghosts - Y/N returns to Holmes Chapel, and Harry is a little too late.

A/N: The next chapter will be the last one of this book.

Warning: this is 8k word long, so it’s inevitable that I’ve made plenty of mistakes. If you spot some, just ignore them alright? 😂

OC version

.

"Y/N, can you take this to the attic?"

Y/N paused halfway down the stairs to lift an eyebrow at Marcy, who was holding a pile of old books and fashion magazines. The bride-to-be was probably influenced by their family tradition — in this house, they never threw away old things, instead, they either tried to fix them or hid them somewhere in case they might need them again. Most of those things ended up in the attic.

"Why don't you do it yourself? I'm busy," Y/N lied in order to get away with the little favor, only to realize how dumb she sounded. If she was in London, it would make total sense since the big city life was always in a rush. But now that she was in Holmes Chapel, how could she possibly be busy? All the people she wanted to be with were now far away. The only thing she could do was drive around town or bring a book to a coffee shop in her neighborhood to read the day away.

Marcy only gave Y/N a smile, ignoring the lame excuse as she insisted, "I would, but I'm allergic to dust. It'll only take a minute."

"Lucky you," Y/N muttered as she rolled her eyes and marched down the stairs to take the books and magazines from her future stepmother. 

Marcy thanked her for it before rushing back to the kitchen, probably to check on those cookies in the oven for her own wedding tomorrow morning. It was only a small celebration so the family did everything by themselves without hiring any wedding planner. Now that the decoration was all finished, Y/N wasn't much useful around the house since she couldn't cook. Therefore she told herself it was only fair if she did the small favor for Marcy.

To be honest, Y/N couldn't remember the last time she'd gone to the attic. That place used to be her nightmare when she was a little girl. The thought of evil creatures lurking in the dark among dusty old furniture and shelves was the reason she'd slept with the light on for an entire month after climbing up there once out of curiosity. Now that she was an adult, it was barely more than a crawl space with low ceiling and mold. She had to hang her head to walk in, trying to locate obstacles in the dark for the only source of light was from the long narrow windows near the ceiling.

The unsoftened echo of her footsteps on the floor made of timber brought on a claustrophobic feeling, and so she put the books and magazines in the corner to hurry back to the ladder as fast as she could.

Right before she reached the entrance, Y/N tripped over a small table and almost lost her balance. But she didn't fall, instead, she knocked over a dusty carton box which fell onto the floor and created a loud thump that echoed within the confined space. Dust flying all over the place got the girl coughing uncontrollably, still, she decided to bend down and clean up the mess she'd made.

The first thing that got her attention was a portrait of her younger self, sketched by her mother. Everything in that box belonged to her mother. Most of them were drawings and souvenirs she'd bought on their family trips. Y/N had no idea how long they'd been in this attic, but judging from the yellow hue of the paper, she would guess that they had been there since her mother was still alive.

As a result, Y/N ended up staying in the attic for longer than she'd intended to. She sat on the floor, going through the rest of the stuff in the box, feeling whole inside for the fact that most of her mother's sketches were of her face, some others were corners of their house and random objects like a tea set, a bowl of fruits, a flower vase,...

There wasn't anything unusual, until...there was.

At the bottom of the box lied a little tin box. The girl almost didn't see it for it was hidden too well. For some reason, just looking at it gave her a feeling that there was something inside she had to see.

With her heart thumping like a drum, she brought it to her lap and carefully opened it. It would've been a huge disappointment if the box had been empty like she'd feared, but her instinct rarely made a mistake. The box contained many letters written to her mother from a man named Dave Hardfield, alongside which was a photo of them together. His lips were on Tam's cheek and Y/N had never seen her mother smile that bright before. At first, Y/N assumed the man used to be one of her mother's boyfriends before meeting her dad. However, when she looked at the date on each letter, she discovered the truth that'd been hidden for all those years. Those letters, love letters to be exact, had all been written and sent when her parents were married already.

Y/N found out, to her dismay, there were worse fears than invisible monsters in the attic, it was the ones living within every person including the ones you thought you knew all too well.

She picked up one of the letters to read through the first few lines just to make sure she didn't draw any conclusion way too soon. But what she learned wasn't what her heart wished it'd be. Her mother had been in love, madly in love, but with another man, not her father.

She felt a lump in her throat when she read the part about them planning on leaving this town once the divorce had been settled. That letter came just a week before the accident.

The grip of her hands tightened, nearly tearing the page in two. She was so in shock that her brain stuttered for a moment and breathing became difficult. It took her a while to come back to her sense and gather everything besides the letter to put it back in the tin box before leaving.

She didn't even think as she hurried down the ladder, marching straight to the front door while clutching the letter in her hand. This man, whoever he was, might have the answers to most of the questions she'd been asking herself since her mother's death, beginning with what had happened the night of the accident. Y/N walked fast, wasting no time, yet her father appeared without warning to stop her right before she could reach for the doorknob.

"Where are you going?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at his daughter, who was quick to hide the letter behind her back.

"To a coffee shop," she said, trying too hard not to let her anxiety show. And maybe she was putting on such a good act that her dad didn't seem to suspect a thing.

"I was hoping you would stay to help us out."

"I will when I get back. Promise."

"Not so fast, young lady." Bradford cleared his throat loudly as he clutched her by the arm when she barely managed to escape. "You're acting strange. Are you alright?"

"Of course I am."

That reply was followed by the fakest laugh she'd ever pulled. Even she knew that, how could her father not?

"Is it—" The man paused to decide if he should make a guess. It wasn't really a guess since he already knew the truth. It was because of Harry. She'd been crying for that boy and hurting for that boy, like she had most of her life. It was obvious. But then again, Bradford pretended like he had no clue. His daughter had never been a sentimental person, not openly at least. Maybe it was one thing they both had in common.

"Never mind..." He sighed, twitching his lips. "Be back soon, alright?"

Smiling in return, Y/N gave her father a firm nod. "Hey dad, can I borrow your car?"

"Sure. But don't crash it."

It was meant to be a harmless joke. But as both of them came to realization, they just quietly stared at each other for two seconds long. Bradford handed her his car key, stuttering as he wanted to say something to lighten up the mood. Unfortunately, Y/N didn't hesitate to walk out of the door.

The truth was, she had no plan at all. She just knew she was going to see the man named Dave Hardfield, whose address was on the letters sent to her mum. She didn't even have the script of the things she should say, or the list of questions about everything she was dying to know. She just wanted to go see the man to learn the truth, whatever it was, even when she wasn't ready to hear it from a complete stranger.

Funny how one surprise came right after another without a single break. The last person Y/N would expect to show up in Holmes Chapel right now, was waiting right outside her house by his car.

"Isaac?" She gasped, walking fast towards the man whose smile was as bright as the sun when he saw her face. "What are you doing here?"

"I was worried about you. Wanted to make sure you were alright."

"So you...drove all the way here from London...to see me?"

He took a deep breath, letting it all out. "You're gonna tell me I'm stupid for doing this, aren't you?"

To his surprise, she shook her head fast and pulled him into a hug so tight that it almost took his breath away, literally. Y/N didn't seem to care as she kept repeating the words "thank you" into his shoulder, leaving him no choice but to also wrap his arms around her.

It finally occurred to her how desperate she was for a hug. It didn't matter whose. She just needed to feel a little bit of comfort after the series of traumatic events that'd been after her lately. At least with Isaac, she knew there was only peace.

"I'm going to Heartward," she said, pulling away but her hands were still resting on his hips. "Wanna come with me?"

"Where is that?"

"It's a town nearby, only an hour drive from here."

"Sure. Let's go."

Shocked by the answer, she grabbed him by the wrist when he turned back to unlock his car doors.

"You're not gonna ask me why I'm going there?" She raised both eyebrows, mouth agape. He, on the other hand, looked as cool as ever.

"We've got an hour in the car, right?" Isaac said with a beam as he opened the door on the passenger side for Y/N.

Now she felt the need to hug him again for she didn't think she could ever repay his kindness. In order to save time, however, she'd probably save that later. If they didn't get going right away, they wouldn't be back soon enough for her dad to not suspect a thing.

"Let's go!" She exclaimed with a bright smile, watching Isaac shake his head as he laughed before getting into the vehicle as well.

.

.

.

For most of her life, Y/N had lived in Holmes Chapel and hadn't realized until now that she'd never gone any further than her neighborhood. This was her first journey to a different town in Cheshire. As turned out, it was a lot different from her own. The streets here were narrower and the houses were smaller. While Holmes Chapel had always been simple, Heartward was a maze with the labyrinth of roads, as complex as the human heart.

"Are you nervous?" Isaac's voice pulled Y/N's attention away from the window, back on him.

"Of course I am." She snorted, inhaling deeply to let the silence sink back in for a couple seconds before speaking up again. "What type of person do you think he is?"

"Probably kind. I mean, your mother was kind."

The answer made the girl chuckle as she lifted an eyebrow. "You didn't even know my mother."

"I know you," he said, his blue eyes sparkled with joy.

In that instant, Y/N felt warm within and she was glad he'd shown up at her door. She would still be freaking out right now if she'd gone alone. It was rather funny how she'd been his damsel in distress countless times ever since they first met. Sometimes she did think about it and wondered how he still felt about her after everything. Was he nice to the others too or her only? If the latter was the case, then there was another reason for her to believe she didn't deserve someone like him.

The smile grew on Y/N's face as she watched Isaac's face screw up while he was concentrating on the road ahead. That same smile, sadly, died out the second he brought up the name she'd tried to erase from memory.

"Have you talked to Harry?"

Y/N gave Isaac a shrug, turning back to the window on her side. "I will...at some point."

He didn't ask any further, thank god for that. The last thing she wanted was for him to figure out what had really happened between her and Harry. Though she no longer felt the pressure to reveal her sexual relationship with him to Isaac or anyone else for that matter, she was still afraid what Isaac might think of her if somehow he found out. Honestly, she felt cheap. Even though her feelings for Harry had always been true, to him she was just a replacement, nothing but a body to get him through the night while his heart stayed missing somebody else. But that was exactly what she'd signed up for, so she shouldn't be bitter now that it didn't end the way she wanted.

"Speaking of the devil," the girl muttered under her breath when a couple texts from H popped up on her screen.

"Read it," Isaac said, his eyebrows furrowed. "He must worry about you a lot."

Little did he knew, Y/N did want to. She really wanted to.

Harry had called her a hundred times since this morning and she'd fought herself from answering those calls. Maybe it wouldn't hurt if she only read his texts and not reply to them. Nodding in response to Isaac's words, she eventually opened those messages.

⌲ H: If you get this, please text me back.

⌲ H: Let me know you're safe.

⌲ H: Please call me back, text me, anything.

⌲ H: I need to talk to you please.

"So? How's he?"

Y/N turned off her phone and put it away as she also turned a deaf ear to Isaac's question.

"You haven't told him where I am, right?" She asked in concern, only to sigh in relief when he shook his head.

"If I had, he would be here instead of me." With a slight chuckle, he added, "you're really good at ghosting on people, Smiley."

"Only the ones who deserve it."

When Y/N received no reply, she turned to see the goofy grin on the man's face.

Pinching his lip slightly, Isaac kept his eyes on the road rather on her as he joked, "if I hadn't texted you when I was in Italy, we would never have spoken again, right?"

She knew he wasn't serious when he said that, but his expression alone could still pain her heart. A sense of guilt flooded into her hollow chest to replace the comfort she'd been feeling this entire time in the car with him. Isaac was too nice to admit that she had hurt him too for coldly turning him down once before. She'd been too busy paying attention to how she was feeling and forgotten about him. Why was he still here after everything? Why was he still treating her like the only person in the world who mattered? Why hadn't he asked for anything in return?

"Isaac—"

"Oh! We're here!" The man happily announced as he slowed down and pulled his car over on the side of the road. She wasn't sure if he cut her off on purpose or he genuinely didn't hear her. But maybe this wasn't the time to talk about them.

"Are you sure this is the place?" She asked in disbelief when they both got out of the car at the same time.

"It is. I've checked the address twice," he assured, yet looking just as appalled as she was.

The house they were looking for was square and grey, with narrow windows that looked far from picturesque. Y/N had to check the address for the third time to make sure it matched the one on the letter. This place looked like it'd been abandoned for years. Maybe the owner didn't really care to pay enough attention to making his front yard and porch look even the slightest presentable.

Exchanging worrying looks with Isaac, she finally found enough courage to press the doorbell. She wasn't sure if anybody was home because through the windows all that she saw was a part of the pitch dark living room as far as natural light could reach.

Fortunately, just when the two of them thought they might have to leave empty-handed, the door slowly creaked open.

Y/N had never met this man in her life, but his expression when he saw her made her think he had known her his entire life. His face was stern, yet peaceful. And even though his hair was turning grey and the wrinkles were slightly visible on his broad forehead, he still appeared quite handsome for a man his age.

"Excuse me, sir," Y/N spoke after two awkward seconds passing by unnoticed. "Are you...Dave Hardfield?"

"Yes, I am." The middle-aged man nodded, his eyes were still round as he stared at her in confusion. "You are..."

"I'm Y/N, Tam's daughter," she said, handing him the envelope she'd been holding the entire time. "I found your letter in my attic, and—"

That sentence was left unfinished when Dave opened his arms and dragged her into a hug without warning. Isaac flinched, nearly pulling Y/N back for he feared the man might do something to her, but the moment he spotted the hopeful look on Dave's face, he decided to stay back and remain silent.

"You look just like her."

Those words from the stranger made Y/N's eyes well up when he loosened his embrace to cup her face. He examined her features, eyes glistened with tears as a smile spread across his chapped lips.

"She has the same beautiful eyes."

"Wow...that's very...nice of you. Thank you..."

Isaac couldn't help but chuckle at Y/N's reply, receiving a playful glare when she turned back to him.

"Come in, you two! come in!" Dave said fast, giving Y/N and Isaac no time to hesitate before urging them into his living room. When the door was shut, and the lights were on, Y/N saw the living proof of the saying 'never judge a book by its cover'. The interior was the opposite of the mess she'd seen when she first arrived — tidy and very well-taken care of.

Dave's living room gave away more than it was supposed to. Every decoration was soft and homely, showing the fact that he probably lived alone. In order to fill the void, he had created a cozy place that made him feel safe and warm so he wouldn't have to come home to remember how lonely he was. Y/N would know that better than anyone.

Above the fireplace were pictures of him with his children, she assumed, for they were arranged from the left when his twins were babies to the latest one on the right being the three of them together at the girls' graduation. There was no photo of the wife.

Dave sat down on his chair and pointed to the sofa in front of him, telling his two guests to make themselves at home. There was already a tea set on the table, so he made two cups for Y/N and Isaac, saying that he'd already had his before they arrived.

"So Y/N, is this your boyfriend?"

"No." Y/N blushed hard when she caught Isaac's stare and turned away quickly.

"My name's Isaac, I'm her friend from London," said the young man as he reached out to shake Dave's hand, showing his signature Prince Charming smirk. How could anyone not go soft for that?

"Oh, how do you like Holmes Chapel so far, son?"

"To be honest, I've been in Heartward for longer than Holmes Chapel." He chuckled, glancing at Y/N who furrowed her eyebrows at him. "This one literally dragged me here when I first arrived at her house."

She pushed his shoulder playfully, laughing along. "In my defense, I did ask if he wanted to come."

"The things we do for these ladies, right?"

Dave's comment made Isaac chuckle, but Y/N had already turned away to hide the fact that she was all flustered.

As the young people enjoyed their tea, the older man took his own letter out of the envelope, smiling nonchalantly at the memories while rereading what he'd written two years ago.

Y/N gave him a moment to get lost in his happy thoughts before breaking the silence among the three of them. "So it's true...you and my mother..."

The man's beam slowly turned into a frown as he sighed heavily, putting the letter back into its envelope.

"Yes," he confessed, eyes locked with the girl who still seemed in denial even though she'd known the truth ever since she first read his letter. Her mother, a cheater? The woman she'd looked up to her entire life turned out to be that kind of person? It didn't make any sense.

"We were in love," Dave went on despite the look on her face. "It wasn't something I was proud of, to fall head over heels for a married woman. But...I guess we never get to choose whom we fall in love with."

Isaac's eyes were on Y/N, yet hers were fixed on the man who was speaking. She didn't know how to feel anymore. Should she hate this man for ruining her parents' marriage just like how she had hated Marcy for thinking it was her? The problem was, she couldn't grow to hate him, not even the tiniest bit.

"How old are you?" Dave asked, eyes squinting at Y/N.

"Twenty."

"Wow." He sucked in a breath and rubbed his palms together nervously. "You were fifteen when I met her. Can't believe it's been five years."

"Were you married at the time?"

"No. My ex-wife left me when my girls were only six. They barely remember her."

The look on his face was heartbreaking still.

"I'm sorry," said Y/N as she wetted her dry lips. "Uhm...where are your children now?"

"They're both living in California with their husbands. I'm very proud of them," he said with a huge grin. That was enough to tell how much his children meant to him. "They're just four years older than you."

"Oh, they're the same age as you!" Y/N told Isaac, who responded with a slight laugh for how excited she seemed to discover the coincidence.

"When the girls left home, I was devastated," Dave continued with a sad smile, looking at them both. "Tam was the best thing to happen to me at the time. I believe I was also hers. She was unhappy in her marriage, yet she couldn't leave because...she didn't want to force you to choose between her and your father."

Y/N stayed silent, nodding her head slowly.

"The day of the accident, he found out about us and they got into a fight." His voice grew smaller and weaker as he recalled the tragic event that took away the woman he loved. "When I received the news, my whole world fell apart. Even now...I still blame myself for what happened to her. If I'd just given up and let her go, maybe she would still be here."

So that was how it'd happened. Her mother's affair was the reason there'd been a fight. That was why she'd given her father back the ring and drove away from the damage she'd caused. That was the truth — a hard pill to swallow.

"But you made her happier than my father did..." She spoke after a moment sinking deep in her own thoughts.

"You...don't hate me?" Dave seemed surprised by her reaction. It was certainly not what he'd expected.

"No." The girl shook her head. "At least now I know she was truly loved. So...thank you."

Dave didn't say anything else. Y/N didn't ask either. They exchanged heartwarming smiles, and Isaac reached out to hold the hand on her lap, giving her a look that said he was there for her if she wanted emotional support. Maybe that was she needed to feel at peace again.

The drive home was strangely comforting for all the secrets had been revealed, and what was left was just bare relief. Staring out of the car window, Y/N recorded the last images of Heartward into her mind like a goodbye to the little town. Then she began to wonder how many times her mother had driven down that same road, or if she had remembered the map of Heartward like the back of her hand. Maybe Heartward was her mother's London, the place that wasn't really home, but there lived the man whom her heart would always belong to.

.

.

.

"Are you okay?"

"Of course I am." The girl chuckled slightly as she watched Isaac stand with his back against the car, one hand still holding hers. Now that she was home safe and he knew that she was safe. She wondered what would happen next. Would they say their goodbyes and he go back to London, maybe back to Italy even?

The problem was, now she didn't want him to go.

"You sure you're okay?" He raised both eyebrows, making her toss her head back and crack up.

"Jesus, how many times do I have to tell you that I am?"

"Alright, alright, just wanted to be sure," he said, grinning from ear to ear and checking his watch.

Y/N studied his expression closely, wishing she could ask him to stay, a part of her was still reluctant that she might've troubled him too much already. Nevertheless, it wasn't her to decide what happened next.

"Y/N!"

The loud voice caused both Isaac and Y/N to let go of each other's hands as they turned to her front door. Her father rushed towards them, followed by Marcy. Both seemed so distressed that Y/N thought it was quite hilarious.

"You're safe!"

"Dad, I've only been gone for a couple hours."

Isaac chuckled as he watched the girl trying to break away from her father's arms.

"The car was here and you were gone, so I thought—"

"That I got kidnapped by the ice-cream man?" She laughed, holding him by the arms. It was then that Marcy finally noticed the handsome young man standing right behind her future stepdaughter.

"Oh!" She squealed happily. "Who's your friend, Y/N?"

"Hi, I'm Isaac, Y/N's friend from London. You must be the bride."

"I am!" The woman shook his hand enthusiastically, giving him a massive smile. "Hey, why don't you stay for our wedding? A friend of Y/N's is a friend of ours!"

"Thank you, ma'am. But I'm only here for today. I'm leaving now actually."

"Would you like to stay though?"

All eyes were on Y/N when she asked that question. She couldn't really blame them for even she didn't believe in her own words. Her cheeks instantly turned red as she was sure Isaac noticed how shy she was. His smile grew a bit wider.

"Stay for the wedding?" He questioned, probably just wanting her to say it again.

"Yeah..." She nodded fast, eyes to the side instead of looking at him. "Uhm...I do need a wedding date."

"Wait, but I thought Har—"

"That's a great idea!" Bradford cut his bride off just in time as he stepped forward to pat the young man on the back. "It's not safe to drive back to London through the night. Come in, we'll have the guest room ready for you."

"But I'm not formally dressed for the wedding—"

"Don't worry about that. It's just gonna be a family party," Bradford said, rolling his eyes. "Besides, you cannot miss an opportunity to see Y/N in a pink dress for the first time since she decided that adolescent angst suited her personality better."

"Dad!" Y/N cried out, causing the other three to dissolve into laughter. Hiding her face with one hand, she sneaked a look at Isaac, who couldn't stop beaming at this point. There was something about the radiant joy on his face that made her feel calm. Holding back a laugh, she watched Marcy pull him into their house.

Marcy was still baking for the wedding tomorrow, and since she had to do it all on her own, she was thrilled to bits when Isaac offered his help.

"I used to help my mum in the kitchen all the time," said the young man. That was enough to convince her that he was qualified to be the Executive Sous Chef in her kitchen. Bradford intended to join them as well, but Y/N stopped him right before he could volunteer to lend a hand.

"Dad, can we talk in private?" She asked, holding onto his arm.

In this household, they rarely discussed their conflicts and problems, just like old furniture, they put those in a dark corner and pretended they didn't exist until someone suddenly remembered they were still there. But look at what all these secrets they'd kept from each other had turned them into? A broken family. They had never been truly happy under the same roof. From now on, something had to change.

Bradford followed his daughter upstairs to her room where their conversation couldn't be heard. When she asked him to sit down in her chair and shut the door, he knew it was something serious. So serious that someone who had avoided every single heart-to-heart talk in her life like Y/N must initiate this conversation.

Without further ado, she sat down on the edge of her bed and handed him the letter from Dave Hardfield. Judging by the look on his face, she knew he had never expected her to find out like this, if at all.

"I came to see him today," she spoke at last, tearing down the silence which was only tormenting them both. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I found out about this the day before your graduation, darling. And the accident came right after. This news would've broken you even more."

"What about after the funeral? What about when I moved to London? You'd had so many chances to tell me," she stated. The tears in her eyes were inevitable yet it still hurt him to see her cry. He didn't need to know she'd been holding them back since the moment she found those letters in the attic. He didn't need to know what the other man had said to her. All he knew was his little girl had been through so much only to find out the truth about her mother from a stranger.

"I didn't want you to hate her for this."

His answer left a lump in her throat as she swallowed her tears and narrowed her eyes at him.

"So you just let me hate you instead?"

When he nodded, her heart nearly cracked open.

"She was a better parent than I am," he said with his head hung low. "You used to tell her everything. I can't-I don't remember the last time we sat down and talked like this. Everything I know about you, your mother told me. The bond you two had was so strong, and you looked up to her so much, I couldn't take that idea of her away from you. I wanted you to always think about her as a role model so you would always have a reason to never give up."

Y/N was speechless. She pressed her lips tight and could only nod fast to replace the words she couldn't come up with right now. Bradford scooted his chair closer so he could take her hand and hold it tight, meanwhile wiping away the tears rolling down her flushed cheeks, what he should've done years ago.

"Did you...did you ever love her?" Her voice trembled as if it was going to break anytime soon.

"I did. I still do," he admitted, his eyes now glistened with tears. "My biggest regret was not appreciating her presence in my life. I didn't treat her right because I thought she would always be around, until she wasn't anymore."

"So...did you hate her?"

"No." The father shook his head. "And I hope you won't either."

She looked at him through the tears, subconsciously reaching up to touch the locket lying close to her heart which was now racing faster than ever. Letting out a shaky breath, she said, "what she did cannot change the fact that she loved me, and she was the nicest person I knew. How can I ever stop loving her?"

"Good."

That one-word reply was so simple yet just enough. It was heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time how they both cried and wiped away each other's tears only to smile again. This was the closest Y/N had ever been to feeling fulfilled.

When she was little, every time her parents fought, she used to wish for a better family with perfect parents who never argued. But maybe this was the best she could get. At least now she knew her imperfect family could finally be a happy one.

"Brad!" Marcy's voice from downstairs made Bradford and Y/N turn to the door. "Don't think you can get away with not helping me!"

"We'd better go." Y/N chuckled as she rose from the bed. But before she could reach the door, Bradford stopped her by the words he hadn't said in too long.

"I love you."

Y/N couldn't keep track of how many nights she'd lost sleep over those three words. She had faced the fear that she might not get to hear them back. She had faced the reality that she didn't get to hear them back. To hear them now from the man she thought she should hate most in her life had filled the empty space inside her chest, even if temporarily.

"I love you, too," she said almost as a whisper but loud enough for her father to hear. Without waiting for a reaction from him, she rushed into his arms, hugging him for the first time since she was just a little girl.

Now that she was older, she must accept the fact that her parents weren't heroes and she might not really know the people she'd always thought she knew. However, true love was constant. The love for her mother, for Harry, would always be there, no matter what kind of people they turned out to be or what secrets they'd kept from her. Just like herself, she knew they had their own pain so she couldn't blame them for their mistakes.

She might not replicate what she had lost. She wasn't sure anyone could ever fill the shoes of her mother or him. But some love could only be beautiful if kept in memory. Thus from now on, she was willing to let them both go.

.

.

.

"So, this photo was taken on her first day of kindergarten."

"Brad! Look at her cute pigtails! I can't believe you never showed me this before!"

Y/N sat on the armchair facing the other three on the sofa opposite from her. They had their noses stuck the family photo album. It was like a game to see who could spot the most embarrassing photo of her as a child. Apparently, her dad was winning.

"Are you guys all done?" She asked, arms crossed in front of her chest as her face contorted, but nobody flinched.

"Aww, the Donald Duck Halloween costume." Isaac chuckled. He tried to ignore her, yet couldn't help but glance up to catch a glimpse of the look on her face as she scoffed in response to his comment.

When Y/N picked out a daisy in front of her and tossed it at him, Marcy wasted no time to grab the vase, holding it firmly against her chest.

"The whatever you want, just don't hurt my flowers!" She said.

"Okay, the fun's over!" Y/N rose from her seat to grab the photo album and put it aside. With both hands on her hips, she lifted an eyebrow at the men. "Chop-chop. Get back to work."

"Yes, ma'am," Isaac and Bradford said at the same time as they hurried back to the tasks they'd been assigned before getting distracted by those photos.

Bradford stood up so Y/N could take his place next to Isaac and continue arranging those wedding flowers for Marcy. Meanwhile, the father kept on looking for that cookbook he hadn't seen in years, only because Marcy's parents expected him to cook for them tomorrow night. He was just about to head upstairs and search in his room, when his phone began to ring.

It was Harry.

The man had hesitated for a long moment before picking up that call. He didn't want to see Y/N's reaction if she caught him speaking to Harry. Even so, he still wanted to know what had happened between them, knowing she would refuse to confide in him, or anyone for that matter.

"Hello?" He finally answered, keeping his voice down so his family couldn't hear.

"Is Bambi, I mean, Y/N...Is Y/N there, sir? If she is, can you get her on the phone?"

Bradford had known Harry since he was little, and he knew Harry was a good person by nature. However, after seeing the pain his daughter had endured, he now must pick a side.

Sitting in his living room was the man who made his daughter laugh, on the phone was the one who made her cry. The choice should be fast and simple, yet there was utter guilt within his heart when he decided to keep Harry from the truth.

"She went out a while ago," he lied, his heart fell to silence as a long pause followed right after.

"She doesn't wanna talk to me, right?" The sadness was clear in Harry's voice when he finally spoke.

Even though Bradford had no idea Isaac was Harry's best friend, he was aware that Harry's heart would be crushed if he found out Y/N was laughing with another man on the sofa, and the same man would accompany her to the wedding tomorrow. The father had no other choice but to be frank, "I think you should wait until after the wedding, when she returns to London. You know, give her time."

Harry was quiet for a while, as if to ponder on his own.

"Sir...do you think she still hates me?"

For this question, the older man took a deep breath. "I don't know Y/N that well, but she can never hate you."

"I know I would if I were her."

"Y/N always says things she doesn't mean. I thought you would know that better than anyone else." Bradford chuckled slightly. "She said she hated you when you left the first time, yet she still sent you those letters."

"Letters?" Harry sounded like he almost choked on the word. "What letters?"

"You never received any? That's odd...She used to check our mailbox every day, and her mother once told me that she'd been writing to you."

Bradford waited, yet the reply what came after was nothing but silence.

"Harry?" He mumbled, assuming something was wrong with the phone and the young man couldn't hear him well, until Harry cleared his throat and said that he was still listening, he must hang up now regardless.

"Can you please ask her to call me back?"

Harry's plea for help sounded so desperate. Now Bradford could only feel sorry for the boy. He looked over his shoulder, into the living room. Y/N and Isaac had long forgotten that they were supposed to be arranging the wedding flowers. They were too busy fooling around by putting daisies in each other's hair while guffawing like children. Seeing the beam on his daughter's face, Bradford was able to empathize with Harry. It definitely wasn't easy to remember how much you loved someone only when came someone else who wiped away their tears and made them smile again.

"Take my advice," the father spoke with a soft reminiscent sigh, turning his back to Y/N and Isaac. "Some things are not meant to be said on the phone."

The two-second pause on Harry's part made Bradford believe his guess was right all along. What Harry wanted to say were the three words that had started this whole mess, and Y/N deserved to hear them in person.

"I know," the young man spoke at last. "Thank you so much." And just like that, he muttered his goodbye.

The call ended with a sense of sorrowful regret, leaving Bradford standing still with messy thoughts flowing through his mind. It was Y/N's voice that pulled him back to reality.

"Dad, who was it?"

Turning his head fast, the man locked eyes with his daughter's. For a second, it was Tam that he saw staring back at him, and in that instant, he realized how much Y/N resembled her late mother.

"Was it him?" Her eyebrows furrowed when he nodded his head as an answer. What was the use of lying when she already knew the truth?

"You should call him back," he suggested. "He wanted to talk to you."

"But I don't wanna talk to him." Y/N's answer turned the man speechless. He parted his lips, yet she was quick to cut him off before he even figured out what else to say. "If he calls again, tell him he doesn't have to feel sorry...It was also my fault for expecting too much."

"Darling, it's not your f—"

"Tell him I won't call him back." Y/N interrupted her father once again. "There's really no point in torturing each other anymore."

From the look in her expressive eyes, the man understood that his daughter was badly hurt by those words of her own, yet she must say them otherwise she could never truly move on.

In silence, he watched her go back to the living room where Marcy was now instructing Isaac how to arrange those daisies. Even though he respected Y/N's decision, Bradford knew, just like him, a small part of her still wished it was Harry instead.

.

.

.

It was quite a wrench to Harry when that call came to an end and he hadn't got to hear her voice. The director got really mad at him for being distracted during filming and checking his phone way too often. Harry made up an excuse that he was just tired, yet none of the people he worked with was convinced. It'd been the worst day in his life ever since she left.

On the drive home, he couldn't stop replaying the conversation with one of his co-stars, who said, "I feel like this isn't what you love anymore."

He'd thought about that sentence a lot before coming to the conclusion that the man who'd said it was completely wrong. This had nothing to do with him being lazy or losing motivation since acting was what he was born to do. He loved his job, and was indeed grateful for all that he had now. But there were also the other things that he loved, one of which was her.

Now she was 185 miles away from him. And he couldn't even get her on the phone just to explain why he'd hesitated to admit that he loved her, to apologize and beg for another chance. He knew he couldn't make it back to the wedding because he'd got a commercial to shoot tomorrow morning, and he couldn't wait until after because it'd be too long. But maybe her father was right, words would sound much more sincere if they were said in person.

There was, however, something else that was bothering him. Bradford had mentioned those letters she'd written to him when she was younger. At first, he'd assumed they all had got lost in the mail, yet it seemed too much of a coincidence to be true, unless the universe really didn't want him to read them.

What if she'd never sent those letters? If so, where were they now?

Harry was too lost in the questions for himself that he almost didn't recognize his assistant who was waiting for him outside his house. The girl had to call out his name to get his attention as he walked right past her.

"Jo? What are you doing here so late?"

"Jeff said you had a rough day on set so he asked me to buy you dinner," said the short brunette as she fixed her glasses and handed the food to her boss. "And Miss Ruby Ellis called me a couple times today asking to talk to you, but I told her you were busy. Do you want me to set up a date—"

"No. It's fine," he cut her off fast, pressing his lips into a small smile. "Next time just ignore her calls."

"Oh...Okay...One more thing!" The girl stopped her boss when he unlocked his door. "I brought your laundry into your room and accidentally knocked over the books on your nightstand. I already put them back."

"Jo, you don't have to report everything to me," Harry replied as he chuckled, assuming the girl was new to her job so she was just overly careful.

Jo shook her head quickly. "I was afraid that you would see the books in a different place and think I got intrusive and read your journal or something."

"My journal?"

"Yeah, the pink notebook with your name at the back."

Harry's eyes went wide as realization hit him like a fast-moving train. He thanked his assistant, saying a fast goodbye before rushing into his house. The first thing he did was run to his bedroom and get Y/N's notebook.

She'd had it since she was nine. He always knew she wrote a lot in there, including her random thoughts, her favorite quotes, her story ideas, almost everything she could come up with; some she'd read to him, some she'd kept to herself. But he never actually got to read for himself.

If she was writing letters that she never planned on sending, would there be a better place to keep them?

Harry felt awful as he brought the pink notebook to his lap and sat down on the bed, inhaling deeply. He wouldn't want anyone to read his deepest and most personal thoughts, surely she wouldn't be happy to find out that he wanted to read hers. He was going to anyway. Desperation had got the best of him.

With trembling hand, he flipped to the back of the notebook, and immediately spotted his name written in small capital letters at the bottom corner of the hardcover. Harry didn't know why he was smiling as he gently ran his thumb over the word. He missed her too much that such a small detail could make his heart flutter.

After contemplating it for a whole minute, he took another deep breath and opened it for the first time.

Here goes nothing, said his inner voice.

The first page, which he'd seen once before, was filled with silly doodles made by a nine-year-old, hence they weren't pretty. He still remembered the day she showed him these and got mad when he made fun of her for her awful drawing skill. The memory made Harry chuckle as he turned to the second page where lied the very first entry. The ink was slightly faded due to all the years it'd lived by. Her handwriting used to be so easy to read.

On the first line right below the date, she wrote:

My definition of true happiness is the boy next door. His name is Harry Styles.

[nightkitchentarot]

68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice

From Kevin Kelly, editor of Wired Magazine...

It’s my birthday. I’m 68. I feel like pulling up a rocking chair and dispensing advice to the young ‘uns. Here are 68 pithy bits of unsolicited advice which I offer as my birthday present to all of you.

• Learn how to learn from those you disagree with, or even offend you. See if you can find the truth in what they believe.

• Being enthusiastic is worth 25 IQ points.

• Always demand a deadline. A deadline weeds out the extraneous and the ordinary. It prevents you from trying to make it perfect, so you have to make it different. Different is better.

• Don’t be afraid to ask a question that may sound stupid because 99% of the time everyone else is thinking of the same question and is too embarrassed to ask it.

• Being able to listen well is a superpower. While listening to someone you love keep asking them “Is there more?”, until there is no more.

• A worthy goal for a year is to learn enough about a subject so that you can’t believe how ignorant you were a year earlier.

• Gratitude will unlock all other virtues and is something you can get better at.

• Treating a person to a meal never fails, and is so easy to do. It’s powerful with old friends and a great way to make new friends.

• Don’t trust all-purpose glue.

• Reading to your children regularly will bond you together and kickstart their imaginations.

• Never use a credit card for credit. The only kind of credit, or debt, that is acceptable is debt to acquire something whose exchange value is extremely likely to increase, like in a home. The exchange value of most things diminishes or vanishes the moment you purchase them. Don’t be in debt to losers.

• Pros are just amateurs who know how to gracefully recover from their mistakes.

• Extraordinary claims should require extraordinary evidence to be believed.

• Don’t be the smartest person in the room. Hangout with, and learn from, people smarter than yourself. Even better, find smart people who will disagree with you.

• Rule of 3 in conversation. To get to the real reason, ask a person to go deeper than what they just said. Then again, and once more. The third time’s answer is close to the truth.

• Don’t be the best. Be the only.

• Everyone is shy. Other people are waiting for you to introduce yourself to them, they are waiting for you to send them an email, they are waiting for you to ask them on a date. Go ahead.

• Don’t take it personally when someone turns you down. Assume they are like you: busy, occupied, distracted. Try again later. It’s amazing how often a second try works.

• The purpose of a habit is to remove that action from self-negotiation. You no longer expend energy deciding whether to do it. You just do it. Good habits can range from telling the truth, to flossing.

• Promptness is a sign of respect.

• When you are young spend at least 6 months to one year living as poor as you can, owning as little as you possibly can, eating beans and rice in a tiny room or tent, to experience what your “worst” lifestyle might be. That way any time you have to risk something in the future you won’t be afraid of the worst case scenario.

• Trust me: There is no “them”.

• The more you are interested in others, the more interesting they find you. To be interesting, be interested.

• Optimize your generosity. No one on their deathbed has ever regretted giving too much away.

• To make something good, just do it. To make something great, just re-do it, re-do it, re-do it. The secret to making fine things is in remaking them.

• The Golden Rule will never fail you. It is the foundation of all other virtues.

• If you are looking for something in your house, and you finally find it, when you’re done with it, don’t put it back where you found it. Put it back where you first looked for it.

• Saving money and investing money are both good habits. Small amounts of money invested regularly for many decades without deliberation is one path to wealth.

• To make mistakes is human. To own your mistakes is divine. Nothing elevates a person higher than quickly admitting and taking personal responsibility for the mistakes you make and then fixing them fairly. If you mess up, fess up. It’s astounding how powerful this ownership is.

• Never get involved in a land war in Asia.

• You can obsess about serving your customers/audience/clients, or you can obsess about beating the competition. Both work, but of the two, obsessing about your customers will take you further.

• Show up. Keep showing up. Somebody successful said: 99% of success is just showing up.

• Separate the processes of creation from improving. You can’t write and edit, or sculpt and polish, or make and analyze at the same time. If you do, the editor stops the creator. While you invent, don’t select. While you sketch, don’t inspect. While you write the first draft, don’t reflect. At the start, the creator mind must be unleashed from judgement.

• If you are not falling down occasionally, you are just coasting.

• Perhaps the most counter-intuitive truth of the universe is that the more you give to others, the more you’ll get. Understanding this is the beginning of wisdom.

• Friends are better than money. Almost anything money can do, friends can do better. In so many ways a friend with a boat is better than owning a boat.

• This is true: It’s hard to cheat an honest man.

• When an object is lost, 95% of the time it is hiding within arm’s reach of where it was last seen. Search in all possible locations in that radius and you’ll find it.

• You are what you do. Not what you say, not what you believe, not how you vote, but what you spend your time on.

• If you lose or forget to bring a cable, adapter or charger, check with your hotel. Most hotels now have a drawer full of cables, adapters and chargers others have left behind, and probably have the one you are missing. You can often claim it after borrowing it.

• Hatred is a curse that does not affect the hated. It only poisons the hater. Release a grudge as if it was a poison.

• There is no limit on better. Talent is distributed unfairly, but there is no limit on how much we can improve what we start with.

• Be prepared: When you are 90% done any large project (a house, a film, an event, an app) the rest of the myriad details will take a second 90% to complete.

• When you die you take absolutely nothing with you except your reputation.

• Before you are old, attend as many funerals as you can bear, and listen. Nobody talks about the departed’s achievements. The only thing people will remember is what kind of person you were while you were achieving.

• For every dollar you spend purchasing something substantial, expect to pay a dollar in repairs, maintenance, or disposal by the end of its life.

•Anything real begins with the fiction of what could be. Imagination is therefore the most potent force in the universe, and a skill you can get better at. It’s the one skill in life that benefits from ignoring what everyone else knows.

• When crisis and disaster strike, don’t waste them. No problems, no progress.

• On vacation go to the most remote place on your itinerary first, bypassing the cities. You’ll maximize the shock of otherness in the remote, and then later you’ll welcome the familiar comforts of a city on the way back.

• When you get an invitation to do something in the future, ask yourself: would you accept this if it was scheduled for tomorrow? Not too many promises will pass that immediacy filter.

• Don’t say anything about someone in email you would not be comfortable saying to them directly, because eventually they will read it.

• If you desperately need a job, you are just another problem for a boss; if you can solve many of the problems the boss has right now, you are hired. To be hired, think like your boss.

• Art is in what you leave out.

• Acquiring things will rarely bring you deep satisfaction. But acquiring experiences will.

• Rule of 7 in research. You can find out anything if you are willing to go seven levels. If the first source you ask doesn’t know, ask them who you should ask next, and so on down the line. If you are willing to go to the 7th source, you’ll almost always get your answer.

• How to apologize: Quickly, specifically, sincerely.

• Don’t ever respond to a solicitation or a proposal on the phone. The urgency is a disguise.

• When someone is nasty, rude, hateful, or mean with you, pretend they have a disease. That makes it easier to have empathy toward them which can soften the conflict.

• Eliminating clutter makes room for your true treasures.

• You really don’t want to be famous. Read the biography of any famous person.

• Experience is overrated. When hiring, hire for aptitude, train for skills. Most really amazing or great things are done by people doing them for the first time.

• A vacation + a disaster = an adventure.

• Buying tools: Start by buying the absolute cheapest tools you can find. Upgrade the ones you use a lot. If you wind up using some tool for a job, buy the very best you can afford.

• Learn how to take a 20-minute power nap without embarrassment.

• Following your bliss is a recipe for paralysis if you don’t know what you are passionate about. A better motto for most youth is “master something, anything”. Through mastery of one thing, you can drift towards extensions of that mastery that bring you more joy, and eventually discover where your bliss is.

• I’m positive that in 100 years much of what I take to be true today will be proved to be wrong, maybe even embarrassingly wrong, and I try really hard to identify what it is that I am wrong about today.

• Over the long term, the future is decided by optimists. To be an optimist you don’t have to ignore all the many problems we create; you just have to imagine improving our capacity to solve problems.

• The universe is conspiring behind your back to make you a success. This will be much easier to do if you embrace this pronoia.

[starlin]

On his 68th birthday, Kevin Kelly offers 68 bits of unsolicited advice...

It’s my birthday. I’m 68. I feel like pulling up a rocking chair and dispensing advice to the young ‘uns. Here are 68 pithy bits of unsolicited advice which I offer as my birthday present to all of you.

• Learn how to learn from those you disagree with, or even offend you. See if you can find the truth in what they believe.

• Being enthusiastic is worth 25 IQ points.

• Always demand a deadline. A deadline weeds out the extraneous and the ordinary. It prevents you from trying to make it perfect, so you have to make it different. Different is better.

• Don’t be afraid to ask a question that may sound stupid because 99% of the time everyone else is thinking of the same question and is too embarrassed to ask it.

• Being able to listen well is a superpower. While listening to someone you love keep asking them “Is there more?”, until there is no more.

• A worthy goal for a year is to learn enough about a subject so that you can’t believe how ignorant you were a year earlier.

• Gratitude will unlock all other virtues and is something you can get better at.

• Treating a person to a meal never fails, and is so easy to do. It’s powerful with old friends and a great way to make new friends.

• Don’t trust all-purpose glue.

• Reading to your children regularly will bond you together and kickstart their imaginations.

• Never use a credit card for credit. The only kind of credit, or debt, that is acceptable is debt to acquire something whose exchange value is extremely likely to increase, like in a home. The exchange value of most things diminishes or vanishes the moment you purchase them. Don’t be in debt to losers.

• Pros are just amateurs who know how to gracefully recover from their mistakes.

• Extraordinary claims should require extraordinary evidence to be believed.

• Don’t be the smartest person in the room. Hangout with, and learn from, people smarter than yourself. Even better, find smart people who will disagree with you.

• Rule of 3 in conversation. To get to the real reason, ask a person to go deeper than what they just said. Then again, and once more. The third time’s answer is close to the truth.

• Don’t be the best. Be the only.

• Everyone is shy. Other people are waiting for you to introduce yourself to them, they are waiting for you to send them an email, they are waiting for you to ask them on a date. Go ahead.

• Don’t take it personally when someone turns you down. Assume they are like you: busy, occupied, distracted. Try again later. It’s amazing how often a second try works.

• The purpose of a habit is to remove that action from self-negotiation. You no longer expend energy deciding whether to do it. You just do it. Good habits can range from telling the truth, to flossing.

• Promptness is a sign of respect.

• When you are young spend at least 6 months to one year living as poor as you can, owning as little as you possibly can, eating beans and rice in a tiny room or tent, to experience what your “worst” lifestyle might be. That way any time you have to risk something in the future you won’t be afraid of the worst case scenario.

• Trust me: There is no “them”.

• The more you are interested in others, the more interesting they find you. To be interesting, be interested.

• Optimize your generosity. No one on their deathbed has ever regretted giving too much away.

• To make something good, just do it. To make something great, just re-do it, re-do it, re-do it. The secret to making fine things is in remaking them.

• The Golden Rule will never fail you. It is the foundation of all other virtues.

• If you are looking for something in your house, and you finally find it, when you’re done with it, don’t put it back where you found it. Put it back where you first looked for it.

• Saving money and investing money are both good habits. Small amounts of money invested regularly for many decades without deliberation is one path to wealth.

• To make mistakes is human. To own your mistakes is divine. Nothing elevates a person higher than quickly admitting and taking personal responsibility for the mistakes you make and then fixing them fairly. If you mess up, fess up. It’s astounding how powerful this ownership is.

• Never get involved in a land war in Asia.

• You can obsess about serving your customers/audience/clients, or you can obsess about beating the competition. Both work, but of the two, obsessing about your customers will take you further.

• Show up. Keep showing up. Somebody successful said: 99% of success is just showing up.

• Separate the processes of creation from improving. You can’t write and edit, or sculpt and polish, or make and analyze at the same time. If you do, the editor stops the creator. While you invent, don’t select. While you sketch, don’t inspect. While you write the first draft, don’t reflect. At the start, the creator mind must be unleashed from judgement.

• If you are not falling down occasionally, you are just coasting.

• Perhaps the most counter-intuitive truth of the universe is that the more you give to others, the more you’ll get. Understanding this is the beginning of wisdom.

• Friends are better than money. Almost anything money can do, friends can do better. In so many ways a friend with a boat is better than owning a boat.

• This is true: It’s hard to cheat an honest man.

• When an object is lost, 95% of the time it is hiding within arm’s reach of where it was last seen. Search in all possible locations in that radius and you’ll find it.

• You are what you do. Not what you say, not what you believe, not how you vote, but what you spend your time on.

• If you lose or forget to bring a cable, adapter or charger, check with your hotel. Most hotels now have a drawer full of cables, adapters and chargers others have left behind, and probably have the one you are missing. You can often claim it after borrowing it.

• Hatred is a curse that does not affect the hated. It only poisons the hater. Release a grudge as if it was a poison.

• There is no limit on better. Talent is distributed unfairly, but there is no limit on how much we can improve what we start with.

• Be prepared: When you are 90% done any large project (a house, a film, an event, an app) the rest of the myriad details will take a second 90% to complete.

• When you die you take absolutely nothing with you except your reputation.

• Before you are old, attend as many funerals as you can bear, and listen. Nobody talks about the departed’s achievements. The only thing people will remember is what kind of person you were while you were achieving.

• For every dollar you spend purchasing something substantial, expect to pay a dollar in repairs, maintenance, or disposal by the end of its life.

•Anything real begins with the fiction of what could be. Imagination is therefore the most potent force in the universe, and a skill you can get better at. It’s the one skill in life that benefits from ignoring what everyone else knows.

• When crisis and disaster strike, don’t waste them. No problems, no progress.

• On vacation go to the most remote place on your itinerary first, bypassing the cities. You’ll maximize the shock of otherness in the remote, and then later you’ll welcome the familiar comforts of a city on the way back.

• When you get an invitation to do something in the future, ask yourself: would you accept this if it was scheduled for tomorrow? Not too many promises will pass that immediacy filter.

• Don’t say anything about someone in email you would not be comfortable saying to them directly, because eventually they will read it.

• If you desperately need a job, you are just another problem for a boss; if you can solve many of the problems the boss has right now, you are hired. To be hired, think like your boss.

• Art is in what you leave out.

• Acquiring things will rarely bring you deep satisfaction. But acquiring experiences will.

• Rule of 7 in research. You can find out anything if you are willing to go seven levels. If the first source you ask doesn’t know, ask them who you should ask next, and so on down the line. If you are willing to go to the 7th source, you’ll almost always get your answer.

• How to apologize: Quickly, specifically, sincerely.

• Don’t ever respond to a solicitation or a proposal on the phone. The urgency is a disguise.

• When someone is nasty, rude, hateful, or mean with you, pretend they have a disease. That makes it easier to have empathy toward them which can soften the conflict.

• Eliminating clutter makes room for your true treasures.

• You really don’t want to be famous. Read the biography of any famous person.

• Experience is overrated. When hiring, hire for aptitude, train for skills. Most really amazing or great things are done by people doing them for the first time.

• A vacation + a disaster = an adventure.

• Buying tools: Start by buying the absolute cheapest tools you can find. Upgrade the ones you use a lot. If you wind up using some tool for a job, buy the very best you can afford.

• Learn how to take a 20-minute power nap without embarrassment.

• Following your bliss is a recipe for paralysis if you don’t know what you are passionate about. A better motto for most youth is “master something, anything”. Through mastery of one thing, you can drift towards extensions of that mastery that bring you more joy, and eventually discover where your bliss is.

• I’m positive that in 100 years much of what I take to be true today will be proved to be wrong, maybe even embarrassingly wrong, and I try really hard to identify what it is that I am wrong about today.

• Over the long term, the future is decided by optimists. To be an optimist you don’t have to ignore all the many problems we create; you just have to imagine improving our capacity to solve problems.

• The universe is conspiring behind your back to make you a success. This will be much easier to do if you embrace this pronoia.

[lazy-queen]

Andreil Ficlist

So, I’ve been away from Tumblr for a while but my love for the fandom is still strong. I’ve read some awesome fics from this pairing, and if you are looking for something too, you’re welcome to use this as guide.

Pairing: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard

Fandom: All For The Game (Nora Sakavic)

All of them are taken from AO3, and all of them are marked as completed. Enjoy!

Hold Each Other by exactly13percent (superagentwolf)

He came along and showed me how to let go. - A series of stories about Andrew and Neil, with occasional Fox Family-centric feels. Current lineup: SMUT / Neil bringing up his torture / Neil protecting the Foxes / Neil using Nathaniel for good / AU: Riko, Canon divergence / Fixing Nicky's Kiss / Post-Canon AU / 5+1 bonding / Andrew & Nathaniel / Neil & Nicky bond / Magic!AU with tattoos / Post-Canon Piercing & Aaron bonding / Neil & minor PTSD / Neil & PTSD, Andreil / SMUT / Andrew and jealousy (kinda) / Baltimore AU & Kevin, Matt bonding / Neil trauma & Andreil / normal!AU Andreil in 3 parts / Raven!Neil AU in 8 parts / Andreil tea shop!AU / Andreil flower shop!AU / Andreil no Exy&college AU / Andreil no exy & college AU again lmao - UPDATE: This has turned into a series where each fic is a different AU! 

Hic Sunt Draconis by exactly13percent (superagentwolf) 

Andrew is just trying to keep Kevin alive when an elf jumps into the fray, flashing daggers and blue eyes. He hires the Foxes to help him catch a demon from his past, but it starts to feel less like he's the client and more like he's the protection. Andrew hates how entranced he is by the scarred rogue, with magic on his skin and a tongue as silvered as the city's statues.

It's a good thing Andrew needs something to hold his interest. Neil is doing his best to meet the expectation, whether anyone asked for it or not.

It's Way Beyond Ice Cream by nekojita for Blurredminds

(part 1 of the Ice Cream AU)

Fic for the AFTG Summer Exchange - Neil's doing his best as a new freshman at PSU, helped by Renee as he navigates life as a normal 'person'. That includes classes and studying, and dealing with a certain stubborn employee at the local ice cream shop who seems to delight in messing up his order each time he goes there for some unknown reason....

Of course Allison and Renee will eventually explain what's going on to him (and help poor Andrew out).

Life Never Tasted So Good by nekojita

(part 2 of the Ice Cream AU)

It's time for Andrew's date with the cute freshman he's been tormenting for the past couple of weeks by messing with his ice cream order. Still not convinced that Neil really wants to go out with him (in part because of how Neil is cagey about anything to do with his past), Andrew prepares for the night out.

In other words, continuation of 'It's Way Beyond Ice Cream'.

Feels Like Wasted Youth by conniptionns, exybee

Neil’s current living situation is … complicated.

Between his roommates’ badass rager parties and his neighbors’ constant barging into his apartment, Neil’s sure he can handle anything junior year throws at him

That is, until someone leaves a passive-aggressive noise complaint on his door. Unfortunately for the second floor, Neil has skipped the passive and gone full aggressive.

Or the Neighbors AU featuring post-finals parties, ill-timed fire alarms, and helpful campus squirrels.

Forever Home by moonix for lolainslackss

Neil works at a movie theatre. Andrew is his favourite (and only) customer.

The Kids Are Alright (Now) by Marmeladeskies for BakaDoll

When they're two years old, Aaron and Andrew are adopted together- and it changes the course of their fate drastically. A story about scars, healing, dogs, and the little boy with the auburn curls who just moved in next door.

Foxglove Fridays by moonix

(Part 1 of Foxglove Court)

Every Friday, Neil comes into Andrew's shop to buy flowers.

Wishbone Wednesdays by moonix

(Part 2 of Foxglove Court)

Attraction is a slow creature for Neil. It sneaks up on him over time and winds him tighter and tighter in its coils until he’s smothered in it.

In which Andrew is a florist with magic hands, Neil is a tattoo artist with a tragic past, and everyone else is busy wooing Renee at the coffee shop.

If You Must by Tourmaline147

Neil's whole world went up in flames the minute he burned his mother's dead body. Mary prepared him for almost every possible scenario, except this one. Now he's stuck in the middle of California trying to restart his life.

Andrew's world had been dark long before Neil Josten came into town. He's been barely living the past few years but he was working on that.

Together these two strangers who only knew how to survive take on a new challenge: learning to live.

*** Featuring the other foxes, the bad guys, copious amounts of music, and, hopefully, happiness.

*** Basically a high school au with music. Enjoy.

TFC High School AU by Moonix

1.  Take Shelter by moonix

After his mother's death Neil Josten just needs to keep his head down until graduation, then he's going to leave this town and identity behind like all the others and start over somewhere new. There's a small hitch in his plans though: his deal to protect Andrew from bullies in exchange for some quiet company.

2.  Guns And Horses by moonix

A year after they run away together, Andrew and Neil finally find themselves in Columbia where they make a temporary home, get jobs, and meet Aaron.

3.  Stop The World by moonix

Neil’s mother is dead. His father is in prison. If he’s lucky, things might just be working out. Except Neil isn’t usually lucky…

4.  Up In Flames by moonix

Neil keeps his promise.

The Proposal by PalmettoFoxDen

Andrew said he was engaged to Neil to get Nicky to stop telling him he would die alone. Now, Nicky is expecting Andrew to bring Neil to Columbia to meet them all. Meanwhile, Neil just found out he's going to be deported. Even though they can't stand each other, Andrew makes Neil a deal. If Neil visits Andrew's family and convinces them that they're really engaged, Andrew will marry him and convince the investigator on Neil's case that they're in love. But if they're going to convince anyone, they'll need to learn a lot about each other. 

A Thief and a Liar by ClockworkDragon, gluupor

After two years in prison for a crime he absolutely did commit, Andrew has his next heist all planned out. All he needs is a team of thieves as talented as he is.

An Ocean’s Eleven AU where the Foxes like to steal things, Riko owns several casinos, and Andrew has a score to settle.

Shake My Tomb by exactly13percent (superagentwolf)

Nathaniel Wesninski takes his father's life and his father's title at the age of twelve. He kills a man at thirteen.

At eighteen, Kevin Day comes to him for help.

The Butcher of Baltimore is a name that used to mean something. Under Nathaniel's direction, the Wesninski Family has become an entirely different beast. They are the shadow thrown by the fire of the Moriyamas. Nathaniel isn't one to interfere with something bigger and more dangerous than him, but Kevin's position means something to him. Kevin, and the strange family he brings with him.

Maybe even Andrew, the one that challenges Nathaniel the most—and the one that Nathaniel finds himself drawn to. There's a lot at stake, though, and Nathaniel has nothing left to lose. Nothing but himself.

Pressure Points by puddlejumper99

(Part 1 of Out of the Ashes)

Neil enrolls at Columbia High School and remarkably fails at remaining invisible

False Equivalence by sunrise_and_death

Some part of her had known it would come back to Neil. He was the one who had cracked the twins the first time. Of anyone, he was the most likely to have a solution for this as well.

Although the events of the previous year resolved a lot of issues, Katelyn quickly discovers that not every problem has been addressed. As she attempts to map a future in which Aaron has both her and his family, she finds herself once again working with Neil Josten—to unexpected results.

Only You by wematch

In their second year a deal is made. Andrew wants to explore his boundaries and there’s really just one person he trusts around himself.

Set in a universe where everything is the same except that Andrew never kissed Neil on the rooftop that night. Instead, they just got closer and more comfortable around each other.

stars may collide by broship_addict, llheji

Moonlighting as Abram, member of the city's crime-fighting Foxes, Neil is doing a very bad job at staying under the radar. He's busy enough between his friends, patrol, and bickering with Andrew at work, but with the Ravens gang finally within reach and the reappearance of the Monster, he might have bitten more than he can chew.

(Or, how both Neil and Andrew accidentally fall in love with the same person twice. Lame.)

finger on the trigger/pedal to the floor by badacts, lightning_struck

Neil and Kevin, operatives for the highly secretive US body known only as ‘the Agency’, are very good at their jobs. Maybe Neil isn’t the patriot that Kevin is, but he can recognise the need for people like him, and, if nothing else, he is loyal. However, in the wake of an assassination attempt on the president foiled with the help of talented-but-civilian sniper Andrew Minyard, of the chipped shoulder and the uncanny knack for seeing right through people, Neil begins to question who it is giving him orders.

However, asking questions is a dangerous game. If Neil isn’t careful, he’ll end up dead - or worse than.

falling. by Idnis

The sun was bearing down on the park, on Andrew, on Neil Josten’s sketch, his auburn hair and blue, blue, blue eyes.

After a dozen tries, Andrew clicked through his photos. All the way to the first one. The one where Neil was staring straight at the camera.

Andrew’s breath caught.

flour petals, sugar stitches by ephemeralsky

“Thanks for coming with me,” she says, keeping her eyes trained in front of her.

“It is not like I had a choice in the matter,” Andrew says, blowing out a stream of smoke through his mouth.

Renee’s lips curl into a smile. “Maybe you’ll win our next sparring match and I’ll finally have to buy you ten cartons of Haagen-Dazs.”

“It cannot be worse than tagging along to a bridal boutique.”

“Maybe,” Renee allows, humor in her voice. “But what kind of man of honor would you be if you didn’t come with me to choose a dress?”

(or: Andrew is a baker, Renee is a bride-to-be, and Neil is a dressmaker)

Neil Josten the Sex God by manya

“Okay, look. My friends were kinda getting on my back about me being single, and I said that it was by choice and if I wanted to I could get anyone I wanted. And obviously that’s an extremely presumptuous thing to say, so they told me to prove it. So, uh, here I am. And here you are. And if you’d like to maybe help me out with this, that would be awesome.”

Andrew stares at Neil for a moment that seems to stretch on forever. “You want me to play along with you and pretend that you’re some kind of sex god?”

Crystal Clear by exactly13percent (superagentwolf)

Your crystal is your heart and soul, manifested. You must keep it safe. Neil and Andrew don't have typical crystals. For one, they aren't whole. They're little pieces, broken by years of wrong. But Kevin's magic shop brings them together, and they figure maybe broken doesn't mean destroyed.

Paint Me The Color of You by exactly13percent (superagentwolf)

Sound is supposed to be the language of love. Neil has never heard his soulmate. Never. Except he sees blue all the time, and then he meets Andrew and the entire world turns to color.

The Glass Mountain by exactly13percent (superagentwolf)

The apples from the glass mountain are all anyone cares about. Anyone but Andrew, that is. Andrew is just trying to keep Kevin alive, despite Kevin's attempts to reach those apples again. The apples, and the captive prince at the top of the mountain.

Minyards' Magical Mischief by moonix for alexjosten

“No,” Aaron said. “Andrew, no.”

They locked eyes, and for a moment it was like they were eleven again, catching sight of each other for the first time across a crowded train platform.

“I confess,” Andrew said tonelessly, “to the murder of Drake Spear.”

(Or: an Auror and a murderer walk into an ice-cream parlour.)

If I Tried by exactly13percent (superagentwolf)

Neil is getting used to high school. He ends up getting used to a group of mismatched students, and he gets a little too used to one of them in particular. Maybe enough to go to prom.

library hours by lolainslackss for exybee

Andrew always sits across from the same guy in the library. The set-up suits him: they're both night owls, they're both relatively neat, and they both like the quiet. There's absolutely no need for them to get to know each other. This delicate balance shifts, however, when the guy sprains his ankle and Andrew finds himself breaking all his own rules and driving him to the emergency room.

A wintry college AU featuring all-nighters, homemade sushi, copious amounts of coffee, and many mixed-up feelings.

winter, formal by moonix for lolainslackss

Neil tries to get away from a boring conversation and accidentally ends up asking the most popular guy in school to dance with him at the winter formal.

faking it by flybbfly

After being photographed together, Neil and Andrew decide to roll with the rumors that they're dating.

Hot Thoughts by conniptionns

99: “Calm down. I look a lot worse than I am.”

Neil is hit by a car on the way to Dunkin Donuts, but he's totally okay

The Manny by mishaschmidt

Problem #1: Neil accidentally becomes the nanny of two adorable kids.

Problem #2: Neil somehow manages to fall in love with their father.

Fuck.

The Life of a Star by gluupor

Stars did not get sick and they did not age. If Neil's smart mouth didn't get him murdered (something which had a non-zero probability of occurring, according to Andrew) then he would continue on, immortal and unchanging.

It hadn't occurred to him that the same wasn't true for Andrew.

An epilogue for my Stardust AU.

None But You by gluupor

When Neil was eighteen he met and fell for Andrew Minyard. Their relationship seemed solid and unbreakable until Neil's mother found out about it and made him end it.

Six years later Neil still has a few regrets about breaking up with Andrew but he's completely over it. Really, he is. Although he does have to admit that it was easier to be over it before Andrew walked back into his life and started dating someone else.

A modern day adaptation of Jane Austen's Persuasion.

Tale as Old as Time by gluupor

In order to protect Aaron, Andrew ends up cursed into the form of a beast. The curse can only be broken if someone is able to see past his fearsome exterior and fall in love with the man he is inside.

Believing this to be impossible, he isolates himself in a run-down castle knowing he will be alone forever. After all, who could possibly be desperate enough to seek shelter with a beast?

Where You Lead by gluupor

When Neil promised Kayleigh that he'd look out for Kevin if anything ever happened to her he'd never expected to be a single teenage father hiding out in a small town. Luckily the town's residents seem keen to adopt them.

A Gilmore Girls AU where Kevin's a kid, Neil's his caffeine-addict father, and Andrew's a grumpy diner owner who loves them both.

Fake It 'Til You Make It by gluupor

Neil works three low paying, dead-end jobs and makes just enough money to afford a room to sleep in and to keep himself from starving. He has no prospects, no hope, no future. That all changes when a chance encounter results in a job offer that he can't ignore.

The job? Pretending to be professional exy player Andrew Minyard's boyfriend.

Andrew Versus the Truth by gluupor

Andrew has an unexceptional life working at an IT help desk in Southern California and living with his cousin. Then he gets an unexpected message on his birthday from his estranged twin brother and very strange things start happening. His computer catches fire, two attractive guys seem interested in him, and he keeps imagining that he knows classified CIA intelligence.

These things couldn't possibly be connected... could they?

Everything is Fine! by gluupor

"Hello," Dan said. "I'm sorry to tell you that you're all dead. This is the Afterlife; your placement here is dependent on your actions during your lifetime. Now, I have some exciting news for you-"

Nathaniel snorted loudly. "You don't expect any of us to actually believe that we made it into the Good Place, do you?"

"Why not?" asked Dan.

He jerked his thumb in Andrew's direction. "Well, before you came in, Exhibit A over here had just finished telling us that he died when he crashed a car on purpose in order to kill someone. What's the cutoff for how many murders committed before someone doesn't qualify for the Good Place anymore? Is it more than zero?"

"Speak for yourselves," cut in Kevin. "I think I deserve to be in the Good Place. I have a large number of devoted fans and am very talented."

Nathaniel was quiet for a beat, before pointing at Kevin. "Exhibit B."

Don't Break the Seal by gluupor

Living with the Spears and feeling desperate and alone, Andrew meets and befriends a seal who can turn into a boy.

In later years he comes to believe that the magical boy he met was just a hallucination. It is therefore very surprising when he meets him again after hitting him in the stomach with an exy racquet in a tiny town in Nowhere, Arizona.

Better Late than Never by gluupor

Andrew should have known not to ally himself with a lying runaway, he really should have known not to trust him, and he definitely should have known not to fall for him.

It's the Thought that Counts by gluupor

Andrew and Neil's relationship has many facets that are confusing to outsiders. The strangest may be their habit of giving each other the contents of their pockets and calling it a gift.

Too Gay to Function by gluupor

After school, Neil started to make the trek back to his uncle’s house when a shiny, black beast of a car screeched to a halt in front of him. The driver’s side window rolled down. “Get in, loser,” said Andrew. “We’re going shopping.”

Fast Boys and Hot Cars by gluupor

Minyard had gotten out of his car and was stalking towards Neil like a predator - a panther, maybe, or some other big cat. “Double or nothing,” he said, sounding unaffected and bored by the proceedings despite the fact that he’d just lost a race for the first time in years.

An Overdeveloped Sense of Vengeance by gluupor

“No one could be following us yet?” Kevin asked suddenly. “No one,” Riko said impatiently. “That would be absolutely inconceivable.” There was a pause. “Out of curiosity, why are you bothering me with such a stupid question?” “Oh, no reason,” answered Kevin. “It’s just that I looked back and someone is there.”

It's a Cruel World, Mr. J by gluupor

“And you? You think I’m a monster?” asked Andrew. “Maybe,” said Neil. “But I don’t think that monsters are born. They’re made.”

A Truth Universally Acknowledged by gluupor

“Palmetto Court has been let at last!” said Mr. Hemmick in raptures. “Mrs. Wymack reports that a single man of good fortune has taken Palmetto for a twelvemonth at least! What marvellous news for my dear cousins!”

It's Called a Hustle, Sweetheart by gluupor

“We need to find out who owns this license plate, but I don't have access to the police database yet," said Kevin. "Relax," said Neil. "I know a guy at the DMV."

bloom (just for you) by godotco

For lack of any better explanation for what was happening, Neil was in uncontrollable full bloom.

- A little slice of witch au turned flower shop au

[sweet-popplio]

I don’t know what to do recovery wise.

————————-

I know that being independent and moving out would most likely help me mentally because being 27 and still living with my parents makes me feel... like I’m a failure.

I know people tried to make me feel better about it in the past, but even if I got word confirmation from my parents that they AREN’T disappointed in me, I’d still be disappointed in me. I’d also not believe them.

The closest to recovery I ever felt was when I had that full time job at the graphic design place as an assistant graphic designer. Because A) I FINALLY had an art related job, so when people asked what I was doing, I could proudly say I had an art job. B) I was full time so my paychecks were pretty nice. It was only $9 an hour but that was the most money I had ever made at any point in my life. And having the heath benefits made me feel more secure. And finally C) Because I still went to my therapist and finally had a decent income, for once in probably... eh 5 years? I could actually imagine a future for myself.

Despite that, the job still sucked. I didn’t really feel like I was encouraged to use my artistic potential. Instead I was told to be faster by copying and pasting stuff from the internet and it rubbed me wrong from the beginning and so art-wise, it was a very unfulfilling job. But the financial stability made me push those feelings to the side. I still had problems, but financial stability and title made me feel more like an adult which alleviated my constant voice in my head telling me I was a failure. Because I failure wouldn’t have a full time job as an assistant graphic designer.

I feel like moving out and having a better paying job with health benefits would help, but I know I also have some deep set problems within myself that I never got to work out with my therapist. I only now realize the depth of it thanks to weed. It has allowed me to think about things in a safe environment in my head rather than avoiding thinking all together. For the last 5-ish years I’ve done everything I could to NOT think. I’ve tried to distract myself with literally everything and anything just so I wouldn’t have to think about anything. It was one thing when I saw my therapist and I HAD to stop and think about things, but since I could no longer see her I have regressed to trying to run away from my thoughts.

Because if I have time to think, then the things I think about are always the worst. It only flings me down a deeper emotional hole. I distracted myself with video games, the gym, work, literally anything that would take up every minute of my time so my mind wouldn’t wander to the dark area of my head that wants me to kill myself.

I’m partially afraid that’s what I am using weed for. To distract myself... to run away from my own head. And in some instances, it does. When I get too high just so I don’t have to think. So I can just be happy.

But in most cases, it makes me feel happy and comfortable enough that I know I can finally think about things and try to delve deeper into my problems so I can dissect them and fix them, and NOT instantly go into an emotional crying fit and dream of self harm.

I can only dissect some stuff on my own. I really need to see a therapist again so I can have another viewpoint... a more educated viewpoint into why, how and what I can do to fix it.

I still have problems enjoying art. I thought maybe I was just going through a phase and I was just no longer interested in art and was forcing myself to do it because it’s what I got a degree in. But I love art, and the feeling of creating is amazing. But for whatever reason there is just a mental roadblock. I only rarely feel like making art now because of weed helping me, but I don’t understand why I feel like I’ve run into a brick wall. I thought maybe if I took a few months off from making art, that I’d regain my love for it and start churning out art again. But I’m not. I somehow am worse. I am sketching MAYBE once a month now. I haven’t had a finished piece in ages.

I’m cycling between never wanting to be at home, so I try to schedule all of my days off with my friends or I am being a complete hermit and not leaving home even when I kinda want to go out and do things. It’s so confusing. I want to understand myself better but feel like I won’t really get there unless I can get with a good therapist. But I can’t do that because I don’t have the finances or the health insurance to do so, and I can’t have good finances without a well paying full time job and that’s where I end up getting stuck.

Because my fear of failure keeps me from applying or brushing it off because I won’t get it anyway, so why try?

I try to practice positivity. I tell myself “I won’t know until I try. I 100% won’t get it if I don’t try” but it only helps me so much. The fear of failure is just that bad that even positive logic like that can’t dissolve it. I realize it’s ridiculous but I’m serious when I say that this fear of failure runs back so long and I have no idea where it even came from. I remember wanting to put a knife in my gut in 3rd grade just because I was making poor grades in math. I would try to have my mom help me but I just couldn’t wrap my head around it or it sounded like trying to listen to someone talk to you through several walls. I remember her leaving for a sec and looking around her room and fixating on a knife that she had in there because she was doing some craft project, and all I could think about unblinkingly with tears in my eyes was picking it up and stabbing it into my stomach because the self loathing I felt over my grades was so strong, it almost felt like the right course of action. I didn’t want to be perceived as stupid so badly. And since then it just been a course of self loathing that I guess built up into depression? But I’ve had thoughts of harming myself so much as a kid that it confuses me as to whether that was all depression too? Something else entirely? I never did really harm myself though, it was mostly thinking about doing it but it would be very intense. Like I could solve my problems if I just drowned myself stabbed myself,etc. Didn’t do well in school? I’d think about self harm. Felt lonely because I had a hard time making friends? Hardly anyone wanted to associate with me? Man, sounds like if I died then my problems would be over. Felt like I was unlovable because everyone around me was dating and all I would get is being asked out as a joke? .... you get the picture.

This turned into a venting thing really fast, but I end up using this blog to get stuff out and it makes me feel better temporarily. I know it’s probably annoying to most people who started following my blog (and why you did, I’ll never know). It’s to be expected these days and if I could actually use a read more option on mobile then I’d totally clean my blog up and it would keep you from having to look at my paragraphs long post and going “oh shit, not this bitch again” and it just be a neat little thing tucked under a read more that you could skip entirely and not have to endlessly scroll down.

[13knave]

68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice

It’s my birthday. I’m 68. I feel like pulling up a rocking chair and dispensing advice to the young ‘uns. Here are 68 pithy bits of unsolicited advice which I offer as my birthday present to all of you. - Kevin Kelly

• Learn how to learn from those you disagree with, or even offend you. See if you can find the truth in what they believe.

• Being enthusiastic is worth 25 IQ points.

• Always demand a deadline. A deadline weeds out the extraneous and the ordinary. It prevents you from trying to make it perfect, so you have to make it different. Different is better.

• Don’t be afraid to ask a question that may sound stupid because 99% of the time everyone else is thinking of the same question and is too embarrassed to ask it.

• Being able to listen well is a superpower. While listening to someone you love keep asking them “Is there more?”, until there is no more.

• A worthy goal for a year is to learn enough about a subject so that you can’t believe how ignorant you were a year earlier.

• Gratitude will unlock all other virtues and is something you can get better at.

• Treating a person to a meal never fails, and is so easy to do. It’s powerful with old friends and a great way to make new friends.

• Don’t trust all-purpose glue.

• Reading to your children regularly will bond you together and kickstart their imaginations.

• Never use a credit card for credit. The only kind of credit, or debt, that is acceptable is debt to acquire something whose exchange value is extremely likely to increase, like in a home. The exchange value of most things diminishes or vanishes the moment you purchase them. Don’t be in debt to losers.

• Pros are just amateurs who know how to gracefully recover from their mistakes.

• Extraordinary claims should require extraordinary evidence to be believed.

• Don’t be the smartest person in the room. Hangout with, and learn from, people smarter than yourself. Even better, find smart people who will disagree with you.

• Rule of 3 in conversation. To get to the real reason, ask a person to go deeper than what they just said. Then again, and once more. The third time’s answer is close to the truth.

• Don’t be the best. Be the only.

• Everyone is shy. Other people are waiting for you to introduce yourself to them, they are waiting for you to send them an email, they are waiting for you to ask them on a date. Go ahead.

• Don’t take it personally when someone turns you down. Assume they are like you: busy, occupied, distracted. Try again later. It’s amazing how often a second try works.

• The purpose of a habit is to remove that action from self-negotiation. You no longer expend energy deciding whether to do it. You just do it. Good habits can range from telling the truth, to flossing.

• Promptness is a sign of respect.

• When you are young spend at least 6 months to one year living as poor as you can, owning as little as you possibly can, eating beans and rice in a tiny room or tent, to experience what your “worst” lifestyle might be. That way any time you have to risk something in the future you won’t be afraid of the worst case scenario.

• Trust me: There is no “them”.

• The more you are interested in others, the more interesting they find you. To be interesting, be interested.

• Optimize your generosity. No one on their deathbed has ever regretted giving too much away.

• To make something good, just do it. To make something great, just re-do it, re-do it, re-do it. The secret to making fine things is in remaking them.

• The Golden Rule will never fail you. It is the foundation of all other virtues.

• If you are looking for something in your house, and you finally find it, when you’re done with it, don’t put it back where you found it. Put it back where you first looked for it.

• Saving money and investing money are both good habits. Small amounts of money invested regularly for many decades without deliberation is one path to wealth.

• To make mistakes is human. To own your mistakes is divine. Nothing elevates a person higher than quickly admitting and taking personal responsibility for the mistakes you make and then fixing them fairly. If you mess up, fess up. It’s astounding how powerful this ownership is.

• Never get involved in a land war in Asia.

• You can obsess about serving your customers/audience/clients, or you can obsess about beating the competition. Both work, but of the two, obsessing about your customers will take you further.

• Show up. Keep showing up. Somebody successful said: 99% of success is just showing up.

• Separate the processes of creation from improving. You can’t write and edit, or sculpt and polish, or make and analyze at the same time. If you do, the editor stops the creator. While you invent, don’t select. While you sketch, don’t inspect. While you write the first draft, don’t reflect. At the start, the creator mind must be unleashed from judgement.

• If you are not falling down occasionally, you are just coasting.

• Perhaps the most counter-intuitive truth of the universe is that the more you give to others, the more you’ll get. Understanding this is the beginning of wisdom.

• Friends are better than money. Almost anything money can do, friends can do better. In so many ways a friend with a boat is better than owning a boat.

• This is true: It’s hard to cheat an honest man.

• When an object is lost, 95% of the time it is hiding within arm’s reach of where it was last seen. Search in all possible locations in that radius and you’ll find it.

• You are what you do. Not what you say, not what you believe, not how you vote, but what you spend your time on.

• If you lose or forget to bring a cable, adapter or charger, check with your hotel. Most hotels now have a drawer full of cables, adapters and chargers others have left behind, and probably have the one you are missing. You can often claim it after borrowing it.

• Hatred is a curse that does not affect the hated. It only poisons the hater. Release a grudge as if it was a poison.

• There is no limit on better. Talent is distributed unfairly, but there is no limit on how much we can improve what we start with.

• Be prepared: When you are 90% done any large project (a house, a film, an event, an app) the rest of the myriad details will take a second 90% to complete.

• When you die you take absolutely nothing with you except your reputation.

• Before you are old, attend as many funerals as you can bear, and listen. Nobody talks about the departed’s achievements. The only thing people will remember is what kind of person you were while you were achieving.

• For every dollar you spend purchasing something substantial, expect to pay a dollar in repairs, maintenance, or disposal by the end of its life.

•Anything real begins with the fiction of what could be. Imagination is therefore the most potent force in the universe, and a skill you can get better at. It’s the one skill in life that benefits from ignoring what everyone else knows.

• When crisis and disaster strike, don’t waste them. No problems, no progress.

• On vacation go to the most remote place on your itinerary first, bypassing the cities. You’ll maximize the shock of otherness in the remote, and then later you’ll welcome the familiar comforts of a city on the way back.

• When you get an invitation to do something in the future, ask yourself: would you accept this if it was scheduled for tomorrow? Not too many promises will pass that immediacy filter.

• Don’t say anything about someone in email you would not be comfortable saying to them directly, because eventually they will read it.

• If you desperately need a job, you are just another problem for a boss; if you can solve many of the problems the boss has right now, you are hired. To be hired, think like your boss.

• Art is in what you leave out.

• Acquiring things will rarely bring you deep satisfaction. But acquiring experiences will.

• Rule of 7 in research. You can find out anything if you are willing to go seven levels. If the first source you ask doesn’t know, ask them who you should ask next, and so on down the line. If you are willing to go to the 7th source, you’ll almost always get your answer.

• How to apologize: Quickly, specifically, sincerely.

• Don’t ever respond to a solicitation or a proposal on the phone. The urgency is a disguise.

• When someone is nasty, rude, hateful, or mean with you, pretend they have a disease. That makes it easier to have empathy toward them which can soften the conflict.

• Eliminating clutter makes room for your true treasures.

• You really don’t want to be famous. Read the biography of any famous person.

• Experience is overrated. When hiring, hire for aptitude, train for skills. Most really amazing or great things are done by people doing them for the first time.

• A vacation + a disaster = an adventure.

• Buying tools: Start by buying the absolute cheapest tools you can find. Upgrade the ones you use a lot. If you wind up using some tool for a job, buy the very best you can afford.

• Learn how to take a 20-minute power nap without embarrassment.

• Following your bliss is a recipe for paralysis if you don’t know what you are passionate about. A better motto for most youth is “master something, anything”. Through mastery of one thing, you can drift towards extensions of that mastery that bring you more joy, and eventually discover where your bliss is.

• I’m positive that in 100 years much of what I take to be true today will be proved to be wrong, maybe even embarrassingly wrong, and I try really hard to identify what it is that I am wrong about today.

• Over the long term, the future is decided by optimists. To be an optimist you don’t have to ignore all the many problems we create; you just have to imagine improving our capacity to solve problems.

• The universe is conspiring behind your back to make you a success. This will be much easier to do if you embrace this pronoia.

[unit8-dda-humphreyhb]

Unit 8 - Project Evaluation

Context:

The purpose to the animation that I’ve made, is to create a possible insight as to what the second season of ‘Final Space’  may provide as an experience from a fans point of view. My target audience for the animation is from teenagers all the way up to young adults, people who have a interest in animation  as well as  most importantly fans of the show. In terms of how well I understand the specialist area that my project is in, I believe it to be fairly strong as I there is  clear definitive evidence that it fits into the animation side of the design industry. 

However, there is the potential argument of it being an unofficial ‘teaser trailer’ for the next season of an existing show, there are factors which don’t credit it to be a fully fledged fluent animation. But in my opinion that doesn’t define it and the main aspects out weigh the this minor point. In addition the key aspects that capture it as a short animation help provide entry into this category.

Looking forward in expanding on this in the future, I would like to increase my knowledge specifically on different techniques on how to animate characters and the movement they do. This would include learning new design software, as well as new tools that would come with the software and the possibility of plug-ins. To conclude, my overall aim is to keep on developing my skills and knowledge so then I can better myself as creator.

Research:

While initially starting my project I did some in depth research into the three main animations that I wanted to take influence from and had a interest in their story and design styles. This was my main source of secondary research for the  character, background and general projects style, although when it came to creating the character’s body designs, I sourced some reference images from the internet. These helped me form more original appearances in comparison to the season one versions of the characters.

Throughout this project I have conducted secondary research to help my initial designs and sketches done on paper, then later I still used them but took more influence from some reference images for clothing. Once I had got past the stage of character design and creation, I conducted a survey where people could voluntarily fill out and provide me with feed back in the format of Primary research. The main reason why I did it in this way was because it gave me a more realistic point of view, plus from this perspective I could see what a random person/stranger would initially see. 

The combination of research and the whole creative process worked hand in hand throughout my major decisions. This can be seen as an example when I conducted my first primary research survey, and from that was the development of characters and the roles within the animation. Then I conducted a second survey asking for people’s initial thoughts on specific effects showcased in images I displayed. To sum up my thoughts on the effectiveness of my research, I believe my techniques to be useful for the progression and development of my project throughout, especially my method for gathering primary research and utilising it to improve my work. 

Reflecting on what I have learnt from this project and looking forwards to how I will conduct my research for future projects, I will be using similar methods and techniques to help influence and shape the creative design process. I now know it is essential to construct some form of primary research earlier on in projects, as the results will inform any alterations from the feedback I would of received and then at a later date there will be  less major changes needed.

Problem Solving:

Throughout the duration of the project I have come across multiple problems, which have differed from major issues to minor. I then found ways to solve them or even in some cases have had to work around it to create some sort of solution and alternative method to complete tasks. However, though having to deal with these issues is not ideal, it has been of benefit at times. In terms of learning from issues after they’ve been resolved, I would not have learnt how to fix a specific error that I made or that occurred so then in the future I can easily avoid encountering it again at a later date.  

By dealing with these obstacles, it has taught me how to adapt though sometimes my own mistakes. For example I came across an issue when using the puppet tool to animate a characters limbs, hands and fingers everything was working up until I applied pins to the fingers. They became significantly distorted when using other tools like position and rotation to animate the hand as a whole. In terms of tackling the problem that I’ll encounter with future projects, I will be more prepared if it is a reoccurring similar problem and likewise when it’s a new issue that I’ve not dealt with prior to then.  

Planning and production:

I believe that my planning for each stage of the project was fairly well thought through and that allowed me to plan ahead for each week. My time was managed primarily through a time schedule, which I made to help me plot tasks throughout the timetabled amount of weeks provided for the project. These tasks that I laid out gave me small milestones to work towards and from that reduced the work load on each stage of the production, making it more manageable.

In my future projects I would like to have a more adaptable planning scheme, as even though my current one for this project worked and gave me the knowledge of what tasks I needed to complete within the up coming weeks, there was a way to easily change parts if I skipped some tasks or needed to gain some extra time in certain tasks. In addition to this I will strive to apply a new possible aspect to the time scheme design, by adding a progression bar for each stage maybe and then that delivers more information on where I’m at in the project. Apart from these minor factors I would say that my planning overall benefited my workflow, and therefore increased the productivity for the creation process.

Practical Skills:

This project has given me the opportunity to explore new techniques and then lead on to me gaining skills from it. I was able to learn these from source videos on ‘YouTube’ that displayed tutorials on how to conduct a certain effect or use a  tool in a different way to what I had done previously. An example of how I explored a new technique is when I wanted to make the text 3D, I asked for one of my fellow students assistance with it, as they had knowledge on how to perform this effect from previous work they had done. I could then learn how to do it from their instructions and guidance and now because of this I learnt a new skill within Adobe After Effects.

To sum up my experience into looking into new techniques and methods on how to simplify an effect or give a certain one some extra flare, or factors which would enhance the visual experience, I believe that I’ve made steps to improving my understanding of animating and the application of already existing skills to a new format. By doing so I have increased my knowledge on subjects within animation as a whole. With future projects I’ll be aiming to expand my skill set like I did whilst working on and developing this one.

Evaluation:

My belief is that I’ve been quite fluent with the evaluation side of reflecting on each decision, whilst working on the project. I made a survey which not only provided me with a source of primary research, but gave me constructive criticism on which I could base my evaluation and assets designs, background designs, sound and visual effects. I think that reflection on my work has made me acutely aware of any mistakes I made and how to move forward to the next development of it, and this is all done through evaluating the process of the project progression at different points.

Presentation:

My blog is organised and has clear structure, it is ordered showing a clear progression of my development that I did to assets made in Photoshop and then imported to After Effects, to be implemented into the animation. I also showed the process that I went through to make the characters initially and then the development process to a completed version. Furthermore I displayed references to sources that were used for influences that I had used for character design, this method provided a nice interesting and informative flow to my blog.

In some posts there could have been a bit more clarity with showcasing my thought process. By doing this it would have expanded the possibility of the reader understanding my actions in a more in-depth way. However, in my opinion there were very few posts that contained these traits, so accordingly the presentation still is of a high quality in terms of showcasing initial content, reflection, development and then the final version. So to conclude, I believe that my project as a whole reaches the expectations that I originally had when starting it and has exceeded in some areas, although I acknowledge it may have slightly fallen short in others. I would deem the project a complete success and most importantly a huge and important learning point for me to have expanded my creative knowledge, as well as my skills set and general understanding of the software I have used.

[uswemiliadiddams-blog]

#10 Multi-tasking

My co-worker, Sandra, was very busy during the camp. She had her camp duties, same as me, but at the same time was developing and starting up her own company. Her and her business partner were opening up a swimming school for children and parents in Warsaw. She had a lot of paper work to do as well as establishing a brand – with name, logo and advertising. For the duration of the camp, she was working away and trying to come up with a logo, so I decided, that as I was there anyway and had recently developed some new skills in digital design specifically surrounding the creation of logos, that I would help her out with some creative ideas. She knew the name of the company – 4 Elements, so we had something to work with. We scribbled down many variations over the upcoming days.

Funny story! On one of the days that we were painting t-shirts, we had our logo doodles on sheets of paper next to us to work on while the kids painted. We were both busy most of the time, walking around and helping the kids touch up some lines or do some pencil sketches ready for them to paint. Suddenly a 10 year old boy pops up from behind us holding his finished t-shirt, smiling proudly that he had finished first and asking where he can put it to dry. I instantly burst out laughing, and Sandra’s face was priceless. He had copied one of her logo designs off the paper onto his t-shirt.

“Great, now people might think I plagiarised from a kid!”

In order to set up a company, it doesn’t actually require that much. You register your name, explain a bit what it is you are going to be doing and pay some insurances every month. This was good to know, as I’m hoping to start my own company after uni. As I mentioned before, I’m interested in writing and illustrating children’s books, however I also love doing commissions and live briefs. I like the interaction with the client, and having my work being used for the world to see. I recently redesigned the logo for the bar that is my second home, the Drunken Monkey, for their side business - the Drunken Monkey Beer Bikes - and get a kick out of seeing my design on merchandise. Therefore, my company would most likely be freelance artist based.

Much of my summer’s hands on art projects had been surrounding logos and I learned a few valuable things if I were to pursue doing logo commissions, or even when creating my own. Simplicity is key. Singular colour pallet is more universal. When creating the design digitally, never send the full file to the client, as anyone with knowledge of digital media will be able to replicate it and avoid paying you. There are ways to hide your name in the code of the files to protect yourself. A logo is the most memorable – first contact association.

Back to Sandra’s logo, in the end she decided on none of the ideas we had. Time was of the essence to start getting people to sign up for classes, and she had to get a move on with online marketing. She created a pamphlet for Facebook, and again asked me for advice. At first glance it looked wrong. She had funky colours, pictures from google, illegible font and the logo was lost in the background. I instantly picked up on all these things from a design aspect for the first time. Usually when I see an ad on Facebook, I don’t scrutinise every line spacing and colouristic choice, however I’d also never been asked my opinion. We worked through the changes and as soon as she changed just a few things she could see what I was saying. The logo needs to be visible – so people associate it with the product. The font has to be readable over fancy, and the colours need to complement each other. I also suggested that she use her own photography in her adverts to avoid any chance of copyright infringement. Even though my logo ideas weren’t used in the end, I still think that I managed to successfully help her from an aesthetic perspective, and I know she has taken my advice on board, as her Facebook ads now look great!

It also happened to be her name day (celebrated similarly to birthdays in Poland) while we were at the camp. Her husband was one of the tennis trainers, and I knew them both well after effectively cohabiting together for 2 months. Last year, he forgot until the last minute, and asked me to teach him how to make a crepe paper flower, I told him then, that I’d just make it for him, but he adamantly refused and said he had to do it himself. He confided in me before the camp asking what I think he should get her, so I cheekily suggested a commissioned painting by me. I didn’t want to charge him for it though, for two reasons. The first being: I’m terrible at pricing my own work, and also, I wanted the gift to be from me as well. I asked him for a picture, and painted it a few weeks before the camp and asked my partner to send it by post to the hotel, so that she wouldn’t see it (we shared a room). Unfortunately, this is where the postal service let me down, not only was my parcel ONLY just in time (it arrived on Saturday evening, her name day being on the Sunday), but the parcel was incredibly battered and upon opening it my fears were justified. It had a big rip in the canvas. Panic struck, and I had to come up with a plan with the other trainers to get me out of an activity so that I had time to try and fix it somehow. As was the trend, it was raining the next day, which was lucky for me! Sandra and her husband are both lifeguards, so they would have to go to the swimming pool with the kids! This meant I could stay in the hotel on my own and had 2 hours to salvage the painting. Therefore, I pushed this option strongly, and they agreed! I was on my own. The hotel is predominantly overrun by children, however, being a hotel, it also caters to family guests, or even adult tennis camps. So when I say alone, I mean without my band of kids. The hotel was still fairly busy. The only tools I had with which to repair the broken canvas, were: poster paint, t-shirt iron-on paints, very thick (and old) paintbrushes, some super glue and ear buds. I sat down in the foyer and started my operation. I hadn’t intended to draw any attention, however many of the guests stopped and asked me what I was doing and praising me on my work. I exchanged information with multiple people (to date I’ve done 2 commissions already. From the kitchen lady,and the gardener). 

I somewhat managed to fix the painting – best I could do, and that evening we had a celebration for Sandra where Martin (her husband) presented her with the painting and a bouquet of flowers. There were a lot of guests in the foyer enjoying an evening drink that night, and Sandra showed my painting off to a number of people. One of the men, (one of our kid’s dads) instantly saw the crude fix, and went on to tell me how he is an art curator in a gallery in Warsaw, and for a reasonable (ehheeeeem) price, I could get it restored to the point you couldn’t even tell! We laughed about this and I said that it would be cheaper to just repaint it. None the less, I now had a contact in a gallery in Warsaw in case I ever need a masterpiece restored (or want to learn how to do it)!

I realised, if I was going to be doing international commissions there are a few important factors to consider. Definitely need to re-enforce packaging, possibly with cardboard and thick bubble wrap, make sure the canvas doesn’t rip, even if the postal service decides to play hot potato with it. This unfortunately brings up the shipping cost. Then there is the problem of currency, and completely different incomes. It’s all so confusing, and I hate talking price with people. I think it would benefit me in my future artistic career to employ a manager to handle contracts and negotiations. I’m good at the initial point of contact, and for the final product. The money makes me nervous. It was pretty much at this point that I decided, that maybe my brother and I could create a company together. He is also a very talented artist, however he went down the more academic route and mainly draws for fun. Not only that, but he’s not exactly a people person. He prefers the practical aspects of commissions, such as the value and the actual work. This means that we could perfectly complement each other! An endeavour we may seek to explore after I graduate.

[duoteca]

68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice

It’s my birthday. I’m 68. I feel like pulling up a rocking chair and dispensing advice to the young ‘uns. Here are 68 pithy bits of unsolicited advice which I offer as my birthday present to all of you.

• Learn how to learn from those you disagree with, or even offend you. See if you can find the truth in what they believe.

• Being enthusiastic is worth 25 IQ points.

• Always demand a deadline. A deadline weeds out the extraneous and the ordinary. It prevents you from trying to make it perfect, so you have to make it different. Different is better.

• Don’t be afraid to ask a question that may sound stupid because 99% of the time everyone else is thinking of the same question and is too embarrassed to ask it.

• Being able to listen well is a superpower. While listening to someone you love keep asking them “Is there more?”, until there is no more.

• A worthy goal for a year is to learn enough about a subject so that you can’t believe how ignorant you were a year earlier.

• Gratitude will unlock all other virtues and is something you can get better at.

• Treating a person to a meal never fails, and is so easy to do. It’s powerful with old friends and a great way to make new friends.

• Don’t trust all-purpose glue.

• Reading to your children regularly will bond you together and kickstart their imaginations.

• Never use a credit card for credit. The only kind of credit, or debt, that is acceptable is debt to acquire something whose exchange value is extremely likely to increase, like in a home. The exchange value of most things diminishes or vanishes the moment you purchase them. Don’t be in debt to losers.

• Pros are just amateurs who know how to gracefully recover from their mistakes.

• Extraordinary claims should require extraordinary evidence to be believed.

• Don’t be the smartest person in the room. Hangout with, and learn from, people smarter than yourself. Even better, find smart people who will disagree with you.

• Rule of 3 in conversation. To get to the real reason, ask a person to go deeper than what they just said. Then again, and once more. The third time’s answer is close to the truth.

• Don’t be the best. Be the only.

• Everyone is shy. Other people are waiting for you to introduce yourself to them, they are waiting for you to send them an email, they are waiting for you to ask them on a date. Go ahead.

• Don’t take it personally when someone turns you down. Assume they are like you: busy, occupied, distracted. Try again later. It’s amazing how often a second try works.

• The purpose of a habit is to remove that action from self-negotiation. You no longer expend energy deciding whether to do it. You just do it. Good habits can range from telling the truth, to flossing.

• Promptness is a sign of respect.

• When you are young spend at least 6 months to one year living as poor as you can, owning as little as you possibly can, eating beans and rice in a tiny room or tent, to experience what your “worst” lifestyle might be. That way any time you have to risk something in the future you won’t be afraid of the worst case scenario.

• Trust me: There is no “them”.

• The more you are interested in others, the more interesting they find you. To be interesting, be interested.

• Optimize your generosity. No one on their deathbed has ever regretted giving too much away.

• To make something good, just do it. To make something great, just re-do it, re-do it, re-do it. The secret to making fine things is in remaking them.

• The Golden Rule will never fail you. It is the foundation of all other virtues.

• If you are looking for something in your house, and you finally find it, when you’re done with it, don’t put it back where you found it. Put it back where you first looked for it.

• Saving money and investing money are both good habits. Small amounts of money invested regularly for many decades without deliberation is one path to wealth.

• To make mistakes is human. To own your mistakes is divine. Nothing elevates a person higher than quickly admitting and taking personal responsibility for the mistakes you make and then fixing them fairly. If you mess up, fess up. It’s astounding how powerful this ownership is.

• Never get involved in a land war in Asia.

• You can obsess about serving your customers/audience/clients, or you can obsess about beating the competition. Both work, but of the two, obsessing about your customers will take you further.

• Show up. Keep showing up. Somebody successful said: 99% of success is just showing up.

• Separate the processes of creation from improving. You can’t write and edit, or sculpt and polish, or make and analyze at the same time. If you do, the editor stops the creator. While you invent, don’t select. While you sketch, don’t inspect. While you write the first draft, don’t reflect. At the start, the creator mind must be unleashed from judgement.

• If you are not falling down occasionally, you are just coasting.

• Perhaps the most counter-intuitive truth of the universe is that the more you give to others, the more you’ll get. Understanding this is the beginning of wisdom.

• Friends are better than money. Almost anything money can do, friends can do better. In so many ways a friend with a boat is better than owning a boat.

• This is true: It’s hard to cheat an honest man.

• When an object is lost, 95% of the time it is hiding within arm’s reach of where it was last seen. Search in all possible locations in that radius and you’ll find it.

• You are what you do. Not what you say, not what you believe, not how you vote, but what you spend your time on.

• If you lose or forget to bring a cable, adapter or charger, check with your hotel. Most hotels now have a drawer full of cables, adapters and chargers others have left behind, and probably have the one you are missing. You can often claim it after borrowing it.

• Hatred is a curse that does not affect the hated. It only poisons the hater. Release a grudge as if it was a poison.

• There is no limit on better. Talent is distributed unfairly, but there is no limit on how much we can improve what we start with.

• Be prepared: When you are 90% done any large project (a house, a film, an event, an app) the rest of the myriad details will take a second 90% to complete.

• When you die you take absolutely nothing with you except your reputation.

• Before you are old, attend as many funerals as you can bear, and listen. Nobody talks about the departed’s achievements. The only thing people will remember is what kind of person you were while you were achieving.

• For every dollar you spend purchasing something substantial, expect to pay a dollar in repairs, maintenance, or disposal by the end of its life.

•Anything real begins with the fiction of what could be. Imagination is therefore the most potent force in the universe, and a skill you can get better at. It’s the one skill in life that benefits from ignoring what everyone else knows.

• When crisis and disaster strike, don’t waste them. No problems, no progress.

• On vacation go to the most remote place on your itinerary first, bypassing the cities. You’ll maximize the shock of otherness in the remote, and then later you’ll welcome the familiar comforts of a city on the way back.

• When you get an invitation to do something in the future, ask yourself: would you accept this if it was scheduled for tomorrow? Not too many promises will pass that immediacy filter.

• Don’t say anything about someone in email you would not be comfortable saying to them directly, because eventually they will read it.

• If you desperately need a job, you are just another problem for a boss; if you can solve many of the problems the boss has right now, you are hired. To be hired, think like your boss.

• Art is in what you leave out.

• Acquiring things will rarely bring you deep satisfaction. But acquiring experiences will.

• Rule of 7 in research. You can find out anything if you are willing to go seven levels. If the first source you ask doesn’t know, ask them who you should ask next, and so on down the line. If you are willing to go to the 7th source, you’ll almost always get your answer.

• How to apologize: Quickly, specifically, sincerely.

• Don’t ever respond to a solicitation or a proposal on the phone. The urgency is a disguise.

• When someone is nasty, rude, hateful, or mean with you, pretend they have a disease. That makes it easier to have empathy toward them which can soften the conflict.

• Eliminating clutter makes room for your true treasures.

• You really don’t want to be famous. Read the biography of any famous person.

• Experience is overrated. When hiring, hire for aptitude, train for skills. Most really amazing or great things are done by people doing them for the first time.

• A vacation + a disaster = an adventure.

• Buying tools: Start by buying the absolute cheapest tools you can find. Upgrade the ones you use a lot. If you wind up using some tool for a job, buy the very best you can afford.

• Learn how to take a 20-minute power nap without embarrassment.

• Following your bliss is a recipe for paralysis if you don’t know what you are passionate about. A better motto for most youth is “master something, anything”. Through mastery of one thing, you can drift towards extensions of that mastery that bring you more joy, and eventually discover where your bliss is.

• I’m positive that in 100 years much of what I take to be true today will be proved to be wrong, maybe even embarrassingly wrong, and I try really hard to identify what it is that I am wrong about today.

• Over the long term, the future is decided by optimists. To be an optimist you don’t have to ignore all the many problems we create; you just have to imagine improving our capacity to solve problems.

• The universe is conspiring behind your back to make you a success. This will be much easier to do if you embrace this pronoia.

By Kevin Kelly

[matlowisdom]

from https://kk.org/thetechnium/68-bits-of-unsolicited-advice/ It’s my birthday. I’m 68. I feel like pulling up a rocking chair and dispensing advice to the young ‘uns. Here are 68 pithy bits of unsolicited advice which I offer as my birthday present to all of you. • Learn how to learn from those you disagree with, or even offend you. See if you can find the truth in what they believe. • Being enthusiastic is worth 25 IQ points. • Always demand a deadline. A deadline weeds out the extraneous and the ordinary. It prevents you from trying to make it perfect, so you have to make it different. Different is better. • Don’t be afraid to ask a question that may sound stupid because 99% of the time everyone else is thinking of the same question and is too embarrassed to ask it. • Being able to listen well is a superpower. While listening to someone you love keep asking them “Is there more?”, until there is no more. • A worthy goal for a year is to learn enough about a subject so that you can’t believe how ignorant you were a year earlier. • Gratitude will unlock all other virtues and is something you can get better at. • Treating a person to a meal never fails, and is so easy to do. It’s powerful with old friends and a great way to make new friends. • Don’t trust all-purpose glue. • Reading to your children regularly will bond you together and kickstart their imaginations. • Never use a credit card for credit. The only kind of credit, or debt, that is acceptable is debt to acquire something whose exchange value is extremely likely to increase, like in a home. The exchange value of most things diminishes or vanishes the moment you purchase them. Don’t be in debt to losers. • Pros are just amateurs who know how to gracefully recover from their mistakes. • Extraordinary claims should require extraordinary evidence to be believed. • Don’t be the smartest person in the room. Hangout with, and learn from, people smarter than yourself. Even better, find smart people who will disagree with you. • Rule of 3 in conversation. To get to the real reason, ask a person to go deeper than what they just said. Then again, and once more. The third time’s answer is close to the truth. • Don’t be the best. Be the only. • Everyone is shy. Other people are waiting for you to introduce yourself to them, they are waiting for you to send them an email, they are waiting for you to ask them on a date. Go ahead. • Don’t take it personally when someone turns you down. Assume they are like you: busy, occupied, distracted. Try again later. It’s amazing how often a second try works. • The purpose of a habit is to remove that action from self-negotiation. You no longer expend energy deciding whether to do it. You just do it. Good habits can range from telling the truth, to flossing. • Promptness is a sign of respect. • When you are young spend at least 6 months to one year living as poor as you can, owning as little as you possibly can, eating beans and rice in a tiny room or tent, to experience what your “worst” lifestyle might be. That way any time you have to risk something in the future you won’t be afraid of the worst case scenario. • Trust me: There is no “them”. • The more you are interested in others, the more interesting they find you. To be interesting, be interested. • Optimize your generosity. No one on their deathbed has ever regretted giving too much away. • To make something good, just do it. To make something great, just re-do it, re-do it, re-do it. The secret to making fine things is in remaking them. • The Golden Rule will never fail you. It is the foundation of all other virtues. • If you are looking for something in your house, and you finally find it, when you’re done with it, don’t put it back where you found it. Put it back where you first looked for it. • Saving money and investing money are both good habits. Small amounts of money invested regularly for many decades without deliberation is one path to wealth. • To make mistakes is human. To own your mistakes is divine. Nothing elevates a person higher than quickly admitting and taking personal responsibility for the mistakes you make and then fixing them fairly. If you mess up, fess up. It’s astounding how powerful this ownership is. • Never get involved in a land war in Asia. • You can obsess about serving your customers/audience/clients, or you can obsess about beating the competition. Both work, but of the two, obsessing about your customers will take you further. • Show up. Keep showing up. Somebody successful said: 99% of success is just showing up. • Separate the processes of creation from improving. You can’t write and edit, or sculpt and polish, or make and analyze at the same time. If you do, the editor stops the creator. While you invent, don’t select. While you sketch, don’t inspect. While you write the first draft, don’t reflect. At the start, the creator mind must be unleashed from judgement. • If you are not falling down occasionally, you are just coasting. • Perhaps the most counter-intuitive truth of the universe is that the more you give to others, the more you’ll get. Understanding this is the beginning of wisdom. • Friends are better than money. Almost anything money can do, friends can do better. In so many ways a friend with a boat is better than owning a boat. • This is true: It’s hard to cheat an honest man. • When an object is lost, 95% of the time it is hiding within arm’s reach of where it was last seen. Search in all possible locations in that radius and you’ll find it. • You are what you do. Not what you say, not what you believe, not how you vote, but what you spend your time on. • If you lose or forget to bring a cable, adapter or charger, check with your hotel. Most hotels now have a drawer full of cables, adapters and chargers others have left behind, and probably have the one you are missing. You can often claim it after borrowing it. • Hatred is a curse that does not affect the hated. It only poisons the hater. Release a grudge as if it was a poison. • There is no limit on better. Talent is distributed unfairly, but there is no limit on how much we can improve what we start with. • Be prepared: When you are 90% done any large project (a house, a film, an event, an app) the rest of the myriad details will take a second 90% to complete. • When you die you take absolutely nothing with you except your reputation. • Before you are old, attend as many funerals as you can bear, and listen. Nobody talks about the departed’s achievements. The only thing people will remember is what kind of person you were while you were achieving. • For every dollar you spend purchasing something substantial, expect to pay a dollar in repairs, maintenance, or disposal by the end of its life. •Anything real begins with the fiction of what could be. Imagination is therefore the most potent force in the universe, and a skill you can get better at. It’s the one skill in life that benefits from ignoring what everyone else knows. • When crisis and disaster strike, don’t waste them. No problems, no progress. • On vacation go to the most remote place on your itinerary first, bypassing the cities. You’ll maximize the shock of otherness in the remote, and then later you’ll welcome the familiar comforts of a city on the way back. • When you get an invitation to do something in the future, ask yourself: would you accept this if it was scheduled for tomorrow? Not too many promises will pass that immediacy filter. • Don’t say anything about someone in email you would not be comfortable saying to them directly, because eventually they will read it. • If you desperately need a job, you are just another problem for a boss; if you can solve many of the problems the boss has right now, you are hired. To be hired, think like your boss. • Art is in what you leave out. • Acquiring things will rarely bring you deep satisfaction. But acquiring experiences will. • Rule of 7 in research. You can find out anything if you are willing to go seven levels. If the first source you ask doesn’t know, ask them who you should ask next, and so on down the line. If you are willing to go to the 7th source, you’ll almost always get your answer. • How to apologize: Quickly, specifically, sincerely. • Don’t ever respond to a solicitation or a proposal on the phone. The urgency is a disguise. • When someone is nasty, rude, hateful, or mean with you, pretend they have a disease. That makes it easier to have empathy toward them which can soften the conflict. • Eliminating clutter makes room for your true treasures. • You really don’t want to be famous. Read the biography of any famous person. • Experience is overrated. When hiring, hire for aptitude, train for skills. Most really amazing or great things are done by people doing them for the first time. • A vacation + a disaster = an adventure. • Buying tools: Start by buying the absolute cheapest tools you can find. Upgrade the ones you use a lot. If you wind up using some tool for a job, buy the very best you can afford. • Learn how to take a 20-minute power nap without embarrassment. • Following your bliss is a recipe for paralysis if you don’t know what you are passionate about. A better motto for most youth is “master something, anything”. Through mastery of one thing, you can drift towards extensions of that mastery that bring you more joy, and eventually discover where your bliss is. • I’m positive that in 100 years much of what I take to be true today will be proved to be wrong, maybe even embarrassingly wrong, and I try really hard to identify what it is that I am wrong about today. • Over the long term, the future is decided by optimists. To be an optimist you don’t have to ignore all the many problems we create; you just have to imagine improving our capacity to solve problems. • The universe is conspiring behind your back to make you a success. This will be much easier to do if you embrace this pronoia.

Kevin Kelly