#a reminder of how awful the game's writing got at the end of the Year of X chapter model

[sasquach-scratches]

Maybe I'm hopelessly h*rny but between this loading screen and the broody portraits you can get as in-game furniture I get the feeling the Ascendant Lord was meant to be like, sexyman bait and if he was then it's immediately sabotaged by him being your Standard Marvel Movie Villain™

[seeingivy]

lacy, oh lacy

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

content: oopsie. mentions of blood/injury. I think drinking is like briefly mentioned at one point.

an: ok. ok. the song line up in this one is so random i swear.

songs mentioned: peace by taylor swift, city of stars by ryan gosling and emma stone, promiscuous by nelly, lacy by olivia rodrigo

previous part linked here

--

You return home and stay there for an entire month, despite protests from Danny and Sareen. But anytime they try to push back, you remind them. 

Your older brother split his head open because someone threw a brick through his window. Because of a situation they got you involved in. 

Granted, they’re not fully to blame since you did agree to it, but Levi and Hange vehemently disagree. The two of them were very passionate about the fact that managers have a responsibility to protect their artists and the fact that Danny and Sareen even asked you to do something like this has them fuming. And by them, you mean Levi. He yelled at them on the phone after the pictures dropped. 

Regardless, your contract with them won’t be over until the end of the year. The only way you can terminate is if you break the deal with the record company, but then you have to promise them majority royalties that you make with any other songs you release until the two years are up. 

Which isn’t bad. You could just not write music for two years. But there’s some sense of loyalty, a need to maintain face so someone else does sign with you later on, you’ve proved you’ll be loyal. And that your records won’t suffer because of internal politics. 

But for now, all you’re focused on is Colt and Falco. 

Falco, who is quite literally a human cat (in the cute way, not the Catoru Gojo way), is currently nestled up in your lap and fast asleep. After two hours of playing Rocket League, which you actually suck at, and then another two hours of arguing about how stupid the game is (cars playing soccer???), he finally passed out. 

Colt knocks, the scar along his hairline bright red, as he hands you a bowl of cereal and settles onto your bed with his laptop. Which he’s been doing often lately - lingering around in your room, never leaving you alone. Hovering. 

He’s applying for summer internships, because apparently that’s a thing that normal people and not celebrities do. Not that you would know anything about that. 

“Thanks Colt.” 

He gives you a hum as he types away on his laptop, his jaw clenched in concentration. But all you can do is stare at that bright red line near his golden blonde hair and how angry it looks. There’s four sets of stitches in place, the area around the entire mark so pink and swollen. And he’s blinking too hard, eyes squinting at the laptop even though the brightness is all the way down. Meaning, his head is still hurting. You make a mental note to call the doctor again tomorrow. 

“Y/N.” 

“What?” 

“Quit staring.” 

“I’m not staring. And stop being so loud, Coco is sleeping.” you whisper. 

“Were you born yesterday? He’d sleep through the apocalypse if he had to.”

You bring your hand down to Falco’s hair, soft under your touch, as he snores into your legs. 

“Not lately. Y-yesterday, he came into my room crying in the middle of the night. Said he had a nightmare of glass shattering but it was just someone parking across the street.” 

Colt looks over, his glasses resting against his nose, and gives Falco a worried look. 

“He just- he was there when it happened, that’s all.” Colt murmurs, voice all quiet.

“You never told me what did happen.” 

Colt closes the screen of his laptop and sets the computer in between you, as he readjusts on his side. His hand is now in Falco’s hair, making a mess of his already matted hair. 

“I-I was sitting in your room.”  

“Huh? Why?” 

“I do that when I miss you. Just sit in here, with Chelsea and all these god awful posters you have.” 

You smile, reaching forward to squeeze his hand which he rolls his eyes at. 

“You’re cute. You miss me?” 

“Shut the fuck up.” 

“Okay, Jesus.” 

“Falco came to sit with me too. Also, he totally ate chocolate on your bed and spilled some on the carpet.” 

“Remind me to kill him when he wakes up. Is that what’s under that god awful rug you guys put in here?” you respond, grating your teeth. 

He ignores the comment all together and keeps going. 

“I kept getting a lot of texts from my classmates and stuff like that, like a few hours after. About the pictures of you and the rumors and all that. And I called you and Eren picked up and he told me about how you came to him, all bloody and cold. He told me that you were finally sleeping so he didn’t wake you. Said to call him back if I needed something.” 

Sweet, sweet Eren. 

“And then I heard it. This rustling, by the side doors. Now, I know that Sandra putting the trash cans back is really loud from your room, but it was Friday. Trash day is on Tuesday. So I peeked my head out the window to see what the noise was and that’s when they threw the brick. It went through the glass and hit me.” 

You clench his hand, which he shakes his head at. He’s rubbing small circles into your skin as he keeps going, his voice so hollow it bothers you. 

“I fell over. Started bleeding onto your carpet and Falco finally noticed. And, and he was holding my head trying to stop the bleeding. He figured it was the right thing to do after how much Grey’s Anatomy you’ve forced him to watch. Mom and Dad came in and I told them to call Eren and not you, because you were probably still asleep. Eren sent us a security detail super fast, he said it’s the one he’s been using since he was a kid so we can trust them. They got here in like twenty minutes and did the stitches on me.” 

You look at him and he wraps his arms around you, Falco meshed in between the two of you. And you stay that way for a while, in each other's embrace, as the guilt sits with you. And when Colt falls asleep too, you reach for your notebook and scribble the lyrics down. 

As long as danger is near And it's just around the corner, darling 'Cause it lives in me No, I could never give you peace

You slide out of their embrace, leaving the two of them tangled on your bed as you hike your knees to your chest and sit on the floor to write properly. And when you lift the rug on the ground out of curiosity and piece it all together - that they’re covering up the dark, brown mark of Colt’s blood on your carpet, you keep writing. 

I’ll give you my sunshine, give you my best But the rain is always going to come if you’re standing with me  Would it be enough if I could never give you peace? 

Your phone buzzes three times and you reach for it, sliding it open to read the notification. 

eren: attachment, two images 

eren: saw you earlier today. ur face card is insane. 

You open up the picture, one of him and Lana in Los Angeles with a billboard of you in the back. You had seen them on Twitter, Spotify putting up big pictures of the Ribbons album cover, with Multi-Platinum in shiny letters right next to it. 

The first picture is of Eren and Lana blowing kisses towards the billboard of you and the second is Eren choking Lana a few seconds after. The photos are live, so you hold down and watch Eren and Lana move in the picture, Eren’s laugh coming through. 

you: please don’t choke my wife. she’s too hot to die young. 

eren: i hate you guys. i really do. 

you: are you jealous? 

eren: you were mine first >:P

eren: how’s falco? he hasn’t responded to my text since yday :/ 

you: please stop texting my thirteen year old brother. you’re such a loser. 

you: idk. he had a nightmare last night about what happened. i don’t think he’s taking it too well. 

eren: it’s hard. he’s still so little. how’s colt?

you: his cut looks like it hurts and he keeps squinting at his computer still. i feel like he’s trying to put on a brave face for me or something. 

eren: he’s older than you and he’s always taken care of you. he’s going to do that still, and you should just let him. how are you? 

You pause. 

You’re sick to your stomach. Because all you’ve been able to do is read what people say about you online. And what gets you, is that everyone thinks you’re so fake. And you think so hard, read so much into what they’re saying, that you almost start thinking it’s true. 

Is the “I’m a small town Canadian girl an act?” You haven’t lived here in years. And you can’t say you’re not famous anymore  - because you’ve literally broken records before, multiple times over. And you’re not really a fraud anymore, despite the fact that you still feel like one. You fake relationships, your friends don’t like you, and…and…..

You’re fake. Your mistakes are on display and some people think you deserve to die for it. 

eren: where’d you go?

you: sorry. im trying my best to hold on. i was just writing a song. 

eren: LEMME SEE. 

you: no. 

eren: LET ME SEE. 

You take a picture of the lyrics, messily scribbled in your book and send him a picture. And then nearly a minute later, Eren’s name is flashing across your screen and he’s calling you. You quickly walk into Falco’s room and take a seat by his little balcony, sliding the call open. 

“Hi Eren.”

“Oh, Y/N. Sweetheart.” 

And at the sound of him calling you that, of him calling you sweetheart still, has tears burning down your face and tiny sobs leaving your mouth. 

“If the rain is always going to come if I’m standing with you, I’ll just hold an umbrella.” 

“Eren.” 

“That’s how they feel about it too. Both of them. I know it’s different when it’s me because I understand, because we’re used to this, but they love you. You are enough for them, even if you come with this thing behind you. That you can’t control, mind you.” 

“I know that, Eren. But I want them to have that, I want their lives to be peaceful and I want Falco to sleep through the night without waking up. I don’t want to give Colt to get hurt because of me-” 

“Every time I call them, all I hear is them worried about you. That you’re going to pull away from them, because you’re scared of hurting them. And-and I told you how much it sucks when you’re on the other side of that. Granted, Zeke’s a sick fuck who did it to mess with me but…please don’t do that to Colt or Falco. You’re going to actually hurt them if you do that. Pull away.”  

You pause, taking in Eren’s words. Eren and Zeke. Zeke got canceled and stopped talking to Eren all together. Insulted him, made fun of him, and didn’t say anything at all. And, and it hurt him so bad that when Eren told you, that he was crying. 

No. You’re not doing that to Falco or to Colt. God forbid they feel like they’re unlovable because you can’t let them in.

“You-you’re right, Eren. Thanks. That-that actually helps.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. I-I didn’t even realize. I forgot that this has happened to you. Are-are you okay? I know this type of thing can be triggering, I should have asked before.” you respond. 

He’s quiet. 

“Eren?” 

“Yeah. It-it wasn’t easy.” 

“I’m sorry. I should’ve-” 

“No, no. I don’t mean like, it wasn’t easy and you shouldn’t have come to me. It was more…eye-opening I guess. It hadn’t happened in so long that I forgot about it. It was a harsh reality check when it was you of all people knocking on my door. I hate that I can’t protect you from these types of things.” 

“I’m sorry, Eren. You-” 

You pause. What do you say? What do you say to him when this is all he’s known? All he’ll ever know? And when you know all too well that there really is nothing he can do? 

“You don’t have to say anything, Y/N. Knowing you’re here with me is enough.” 

Fucking mind reader. You hate it when he does this. 

“God. Quit reading my mind.” 

“Can’t help it. I know you like the back of my hand. And I am saying that in earnest. This shit sucks, I’ve dealt with it forever. But you make things easy. Your presence is enough comfort, okay?” 

There’s a beat on the phone call. He doesn’t speak and you don’t either. And you can feel your cheeks burning. 

“Eren?” 

“Hm?” 

“Since when do you call my brothers?” you ask, sniffling. 

“Ah, you know. Since it happened. But in all fairness, Falco calls me first most of the time.” 

“How many times have you talked to him?” 

“Like every day or every other day at least. Kid is so ridiculous.” 

“Eren. You don’t even call me that much.” 

“Do you want me to?” 

“No, it’s not the same if I have to ask you to do it. And plus, your new best friend is probably going to get all mad at me.” you tease, trying not to laugh. 

“Oh, don’t be like that, sweetheart. I’ll call you more, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Don’t say yeah like that.” 

“Like what?” 

“God, Y/N. Quit flirting with me or I’m going to fall in love with you.” 

Your heart does a somersault, a cartwheel, a back handspring, and everything in between. Eren throws blankets over your barbed wire and shamelessly flirts with you after like it’s nothing. 

--

The song comes out in the middle of your preliminary press tour for Ten Things I Hate About You and instantly becomes a hot topic the interviewees focus on. You’ve been stuck working all day. You can’t even comment on whether or not the song is about you if you wanted to. 

Historia released her latest single, for her new and upcoming album, called Lacy. And everyone thinks the song is about you, that it’s a response to dorothea. And when you get home from the warm lights nearly cooking you on the stage, you immediately run and pull up the video on your computer, Yuuta and Rika taking residence in your room while you do. 

The music video is simple, a black and white video of Historia and Eren in a recording studio, singing the song. Eren’s nimble hands are plucking the strings of the guitar and Historia’s sweet, soft voice is carrying the vocals. 

Ooh, I care, I care, I care Like perfume that you wear, I linger all the time Watching, hidden in plain sight And ooh, I try, I try, I try But it takes over my life, I see you everywhere The sweetest torture one could bear

You keep listening, focusing intently on how anyone could even connect the song to you. Granted, from what you’re gathering, the song is about someone Historia knows that she idolizes, focuses on so much that it makes her feel bad about herself. Like an obsession. 

You are put into constant competition with each other, down to the time your records come out. People make it a point to comment on who would become a triple threat first - her or you - or pigeon hole the tiniest details into some big feud between the two of you. The only time your song leaves the #1 spot on the top of the charts is when Historia releases a new one, the only time her movie falls in popularity is because yours comes out. 

But that doesn’t mean it’s about you. 

Ooh, I care, I care, I care Like ribbons in your hair, my stomach's all in knots You got the one thing that I want Ooh, I try, I try, I try Try to rationalize, people are people But it's like you're made of angel dust

You freeze. That’s where the connection comes in. The ribbons in your hair. Not only is your record literally called Ribbons, but the entire tour, press, even the cover of the album is you with varying colors of ribbons in your hair. 

If that’s true, then…Historia stopped talking to you because of it? Because people pit her against you one too many times and it makes her feel bad about herself? You reach for your phone. 

you: eren. 

eren: y/n. what can i do you for?

you: is lacy about me? 

eren: just saw ur lip sync battle with sukuna. i’m inconsolable. 

He’s changing the subject. Though, you were waiting for him to bring that up. Your final stop on the press tour before finishing and returning to filming was doing the infamous lip sync battle - with you and Sukuna against Yuuta and Rika. And in true Yuuta and Rika fashion, they did a super lovey dovey rendition of City of Stars, from La La Land. Which only made it funnier that you and Sukuna just sang Promiscuous and made it rain dollar bills on each other. 

you: i’m sure your heart is very broken. but quit changing the subject. 

eren: it is. i’ll never love again. 

you: eren. answer the question. you know how much this entire hisu thing has bothered me. 

eren: i’m sorry, sweetheart. you know i can’t talk about things historia told me in confidence, as much as i want to. 

you: eren. are you seriously telling me that historia stopped being my friend because OTHER PEOPLE were comparing us? that’s so stupid. 

eren: don’t pigeon hole the lyrics. you don’t even know if it’s about you. and even if it is, give historia some slack. this entire thing we do is complicated. and she’s always felt things so deeply. 

you: you’re a traitor. you’re supposed to be on my side. 

eren: sometimes being the devil's advocate is being on your side. 

you: don’t quote me back to me. being annoying isn’t a good look on you. 

You throw your phone back and replay the song. Four times, each time doing exactly what Eren told you not to do and pigeonholing the lyrics. But you keep going over it in your head. That if it really is about you, then the way you are, the success you have is so obsessive for Historia that it made her start hating herself. That she feels like she can’t compare, so much so, that she’d avoid you all together. 

It stings. You were girls together. 

The last time you talked to Historia was months ago, when you were still taking your month off and staying with Colt and Falco. And even that was an exception to her normal radio silence and the miles she put between you two. 

The call came in the middle of the night, right after you made sure Falco and Colt were both asleep. What you were expecting was Eren - who was too overprotective and kept calling to check if you were okay. But instead, Historia’s name and the picture of the two of you - fast asleep on the couch on the Attack on Titan set - was flashing across the screen. 

“Y/N?”

“Hisu? Is it really you.” 

She awkwardly laughs. 

“Yeah. Hi. I was just calling to check up on you. I would take time off to come see you like everyone else but I’m stuck on set.” 

“No problem. I-I’m staying home anyways. With Coco and Colt.” 

“That’s nice. I’m glad, you-you never were one to take a break.” 

You pause. 

“So. Um-” 

“You’re okay, right? I-I saw the pictures. The entire thing is really shitty and I’m sorry it happened to you.” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. How are you?” 

“I’m about to go on release my album in a few months. Then go on tour. ” 

“Yeah, I’ve been watching all the press. You’re amazing, I-I’m really excited to listen, yeah? I’ve always been your number one fan.” 

There’s a beat. She doesn’t respond right away and the silence sticks in your mind, even if it’s only for a few seconds. 

“Thanks, Y/N. You’ve always been really sweet.” 

“You too, yeah?” 

“Listen. I have to go. But take it easy, yeah?” 

“Okay. Bye Hisu.” 

It’s static. 

You reach for your phone and pull up the chat between you and her and text. 

you: just listened to lacy, hisu. another hit, once again. 

And after you can’t help but think about it. Are these the compliments that hit like bullets on skin? She never responds. You take that as a yes. 

--

You stare at the screen, eyes focused on the texts. That have been bothering you for a few days. Five texts, all left unanswered by Eren. 

Your novelty is wearing off. Eren’s done talking to you. 

You’re making it up. You’re making it up and it’s only because you’re so used to his quick witted responses that it’s bothering you. That he hasn’t responded yet. You read them over again, double, triple checking what you said. 

you: saw this ugly toad ceramic at the store. reminded me of you. 

you: i’ll buy it for you. 

you: i think jean is going to propose to mika. and i know they’ve literally been together since we were fifteen but we are ONLY TWENTY TWO. 

you: it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other!!! 

you: armin and i were thinking of coming down for your birthday! meet all ur lil set friends and see connie again and stuff :’) 

It sits with you in a weird way. Because you know that he responded to Armin an hour ago, about his birthday. And said that it was best that you both didn’t come just because of how busy it was, that he’d probably only get to spend an hour with you guys. 

Armin is insistent on going anyway. And you just miss Eren. Sukuna pads into the room and finds you like this, with your phone flat on your bed and the way you’re leaning over the covers and staring intently at it. 

“Just climb in, why don’t you?” he mutters, falling flat on your bed. 

“Hello to you too. Why are you in my trailer?” 

“Bored. Lonely. Horny. Take your pick.” 

You roll your eyes and side shuffle to make room for him, his stupid musky smell enveloping the air. What you were expecting to be an unpleasant co-star was anything but, because you and Sukuna have slowly been sweeping hearts. 

From the way you guys argue during press, how Sukuna shamelessly flirts with you, to your shared need to fight with each other - you’re quickly ramping up the popularity around the rom-com you aren’t even done filming. 

“So. What the fuck are you staring at?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Talk.” he says sternly, lifting his hand to knock on your head. 

Absolute caveman. 

“Can I ask you a weird question?” 

“Sure.” 

“How are you so blunt?” 

He turns over, a look of confusion spread on his face. You follow suit and turn over too, eyes focused on the tattoos that litter his skin. All the way around his neck and his arms and on instinct, you nervously reach for your own. 

“Are you tired of being a pushover, Y/N?” 

“What? I’m not a pushover, I’m just-” 

You stop. Maybe not the word you would use, people pleaser seems more like the explanation for it. Maybe if you cared less about Eren, about what he thought of you, it would be easier. Maybe if you wanted him less it would be easier to be his friend.  

“I’m going to tell you something and you can’t repeat it to anyone, doll. I’m trusting you here, okay?” 

“Okay. I promise I won’t tell anyone.” 

“I learned quickly that you can’t let anyone have a pull on you. Because when you do, you’ll do anything. Believe anything. And it’ll be your downfall if you let it.” 

You take in his words. And he doesn’t talk for a while, eyes focused on the brown ceiling of your trailer. 

“I went a long time without doing what I felt was right. What people were pulling me to do this and that, what I had to do. And when I reached a certain point, I didn’t even know who I was anymore. Hundreds, thousands of people loved me and I didn’t even know who I was looking at in the mirror.” he says. 

“Well, I hardly doubt it was thousands, Sukuna. You’re quite irritating.” 

He brings his hand down on your face, laughing. His face is uncharacteristically soft and he resembles Yuuji too much. Granted, they are fucking twins but the expression - it’s one you’ve only seen reflected on his face and never Sukuna’s. 

“You’re tolerable when you’re like this, Y/N. You’re always such a pain in the fucking ass.” 

“You’re normal like this. It’s nice. You should do it more often.” 

There’s a beat. And he’s thinking. 

“Being blunt is the only way I’m sure. That I’m being myself, because that’s what’s coming to mind. And in a place where almost everyone is lying, trying to pit everyone else against each other and bring them down for entertainment, honesty is the only way I make it out.” 

You nod, sinking in his words. Thinking back to Sukuna, when you met him. When he was on again and off again with Hyla, how he said that he would just get pulled so deeply into things that he didn’t even realize what was going on till he was out of it. That it was blinding.

“So what was bothering you?” 

“Ah. You know, the whole Historia thing.” 

He laughs. 

“Lacy, oh lacy. Skin like puff pastry.” 

You snort. 

“I can’t even tell if that’s a compliment or not. Aren’t puff pastries really dry and crumbly?” 

“I think she meant to say pasty. Like a ghost.” he responds. 

“I don’t know, Sukuna. I guess I feel bad. That we’re always in competition and that it seems like my mere existence just makes it hard for her.” 

“Y/N.” 

“Hm?” 

“You know what Historia does when she puts you on a pedestal?” 

“What?” 

“Gives herself no room to stand next to you. And leaves you up there alone.” he says, the tone in his voice definitive. 

You pause. 

“When the fuck did you become so wise?” 

“Beauty and brains, Y/N. There isn’t a thing I can’t do.” he responds, giving you a stupid smirk. 

--

The pictures drop on Twitter three weeks later, on your last week of filming, and give you a bittersweet reaction. The first one, when you see it, makes your heart drop. Maybe even break a little. 

Eren and Hyla, all curled up on a yacht kissing each other. Eren looks great, phenomenal even, and people make no point to keep that information to themselves. He’s getting more and more fit as time goes on, the stupid sunglasses he’s wearing, and his hair long again - people are going feral for Eren Jaeger. And Hyla is Hyla - gorgeous, brilliant, and beautiful. 

Granted, this entire feeling is on you for making the assumption. That Eren taking care of you after the Ricky thing, that you guys constantly text again like you used to, is any inclination that he likes you. Especially when he started slipping away. 

It’s simple. Eren’s your best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. You dropped the ball and let him go and now he’s someone else’s. 

You’re fish together because you’re friends, because you get each other. And that alone is a testament to your relationship. That it can’t be replaced. 

But it doesn’t make it sting any less. Especially when he gives you no warning beforehand. 

But in a nice, karmic way, the second picture makes it all better. It’s Eren throwing up over the side of the boat. Right after kissing Hyla. 

Eren and his sensitive stomach save the day. He’s trending for both how great he looks and for how ridiculous it is that he literally vomited after kissing his girlfriend. 

“Sukuna. Come here.” 

“Hm? What do you want?” 

“Let’s send him a picture.” you say, pointing at the pictures. 

Sukuna, in true Sukuna fashion, has printed out both pictures and framed them for the trailer. 

For Sukuna, the entire ordeal is priceless. Because Eren and Hyla being together is funny, but Hyla being so atrocious that Eren throws up after they kiss is even funnier. He’s already tweeted so much about it that everyone’s dying over Sukuna and how petty he is. Truly, the only person who could get away with this. 

You debate addressing the elephant in the room with Eren. Granted, calling a model like Hyla an elephant is almost ironic but, you digress.

If it was a big deal, he would give you a warning. So you shouldn't. But maybe you should tell him you don't care and that it's okay that he's with her.

What are you saying? He doesn't need your permission. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

You put the frame against the mirror, making sure Eren can see you and Sukuna laughing in the reflection as you take a picture of the frame. And the fact that Sukuna’s not wearing a shirt, that he’s leaning all over you, should trigger some type of reaction. Or you at least hope it will. 

“Give him hell, doll. Stupid prick.” he says, shuffling away back to the other side of his trailer. 

You give him a smile as you slide open your phone, sending him the picture. And then you follow and plop onto Sukuna’s bed, which has him nearly trying to cut off your circulation by smothering a pillow in your face. 

A gentleman. 

you: eren jaeger, the man that you are 

eren: FUCKING STOP. JEAN IS ALREADY DOGGING ME ON TWITTER. 

you: an instant classic. you are never living this down, my friend. 

you: the fact that connie has said nothing yet is almost concerning. this has him written all over it. 

eren: tell sukuna i will kill him. he’s got his dirty paws ALL OVER YOU TOO

you: possessive much? 

eren: i am a simple man. and you two together has been a sore spot for me since i was sixteen. there’s only so much i can stomach. 

you: protect your peace, king. this movie is not going to be easy for you. 

eren: WHY?????

you: has a lot of smooching. and you KNOW sukuna gets carried away. 

eren: blocked. I hate you. 

eren: never talk to me again. i refuse to come to the premiere. 

you: hehe. 

eren: do NOT hehe me. im going to cry myself to sleep. do you relish in my pain? 

you: a little bit. sweet dreams!!! 

eren disliked a message. 

Sukuna leans over and reads the messages as Yuuji and Rika walk in, with Yuuta and Annie in tow. You give them all a smile as they fall onto the bed with you two, stuck in their own conversations. Annie and Rika are talking about Rika’s birthday that’s coming up and Yuuji’s too busy trying to swipe Annie’s phone, for god knows what reason. 

“This is insane. He’s all but fucking another girl on a yacht but talking to you like this? After ignoring you too?” Sukuna mutters, glaring at you. 

“It’s not like that. We-we’re just friends. And it’s funny to joke about it.” 

“You’re just friends. Yeah, and I’m the Thirteenth Disciple of Jesus, Y/N.” he responds, bitingly sarcastic. 

“You and Judas would get along.” you respond. 

“You’re being stupid. I’m not buying you ice cream when you come to me crying when he stops texting you.” 

“You would. Begrudgingly, probably while hurling a bunch of insults at me, but you would.” 

He reaches forward and flicks your forehead. A telltale sign that even he knows he would, because he isn’t rejecting the notion. Yuuta scoots over and flicks Sukuna’s hand off, giving you a smile. 

“What are you arguing about over here?” he asks, giving you a warm smile. 

“Eren.” 

“Oh, I just saw the pictures. Poor guy.” Yuuta says, an awkward hand rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Yuuta. Got a question.” you say, propping up on your elbows. 

You explain the whole situation to Yuuta. That you and Eren dated. And then you didn’t. And then he saved you from Ricky, that you guys were texting again, but he’s dating Hyla now, full on and out in the open. And then let him read the texts and ask him. 

“Now tell me, Yuu. Who is in the wrong?” 

“Sukuna.” 

You give Yuuta a glimmering smile as Sukuna rolls his eyes, reaching forward to headbutt both of you down into the mattress. You both protest and smack him off, giving him the finger. 

“The only person on this Earth who is more goo goo ga ga and down horrendous than you is Yuuta. You picked a biased person to intervene.” he says, seething. 

“Did not. I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” 

“Oh, quit playing dumb, doll. Yuuta and Maki are worse than you and Eren. Break up, make up, argue loud as fuck in the middle of the street, just to be kissing in the park the next day.” 

“You just don’t get it. You can’t relate to the situation, Sukuna. Sometimes you just can’t stay away. Have you ever been in love?” 

“Every time I look at you, doll.” 

“Ugh. You’re disgusting.” 

“You love it.” 

The bell rings outside the trailer, signaling the call time for set, and Sukuna makes it a point to give you his warning. 

“You’re treading on thin ice, doll. And when you fall, it’s going to be no one’s fault but your own.” 

“For someone who claims he’s not a disciple of Jesus, you sure like to act self righteous as fuck all the time.” you respond, pushing him into the food cart near the directors chair. 

Sukuna rolls his eyes as he drags you by the arm to your chairs, propped up, as you watch Yuuta and Rika take their marks, with Annie and Yuuji in the back. Sukuna’s glaring at you, bloody murder, unable to drop what he’s talking about. 

“Look. Even for normal people, it’s never a good sign to be friends with your exes. And I bet he’s already being suspicious as fuck, despite the fact that he puts this whole goofy best friend persona on and flirts with you once in a while.” 

“He does not. He-he’s not like that, all calculated and manipulative. You know him, he’s like a walking cheeseball.” 

“He was a walking cheese ball. But at some point, you become the people you surround yourself with.” 

“Okay, Sukuna. I fucking hate it when you’re all cryptic as fuck. You go on and on about how fucked up the people Eren’s around are. But you never once say what they actually do.” 

He frowns, glaring at you. 

“Why do you think Connie and Eren are fighting?” 

You pause, thrown off by the question. 

“Connie and Eren aren’t fighting. They’re like best friends. Connie’s even going to be in his next movie, Sukuna.” 

“You said it yourself. It’s weird that Connie hasn’t commented on Eren’s whole vomit-gate moment. They’re filming a movie together, but they haven’t taken any pictures. And I can bet you ten bucks that Eren hasn’t said shit about him being there.” 

You don’t respond. Because he’s right. Eren hasn’t said anything about being there. And Connie hasn’t even talked to you in weeks. 

“It bothers you, doesn’t it? That he’s pulling away?” 

“Eren isn’t pulling away, Sukuna. He just has a girlfriend, it’s obviously not going to be the same between us as before.” 

“Bullshit. You know he’s pulling away. What does he do? Forget to text back once in a while but then flirt to make it better? Tell you you’re pretty when pictures of him and Hyla drop? You’re ignoring every gut feeling you have about him because you want to keep him around.” 

“Fuck you, Sukuna.” you respond, warm tears filling your eyes. 

This is what you hate about Sukuna. His persistent need to point out things you so blatantly choose to ignore. That he pokes holes in what you and Eren have, valid holes that bother you at night, that only validate what you think is true. 

You need Eren more than he needs you. You like Eren more than he likes you. And he’s going to leave you far behind, at the end of all of this. 

Sukuna reaches forward, fingers swiping the tears off your cheeks as he rolls his eyes. 

“Stop fucking crying.” 

“You’re so rude.” 

“I’m not rude. You’re just a bitch.” 

You smack his face out of your space. 

“When you’re ready for it, I’m here to help you. There’s nothing I do better than revenge, doll.” 

You scoff. 

“Save your unadulterated rage for the camera. And don’t get too excited when I lean in to kiss you.” he responds, tucking your hair behind your ear and giving you a wink as he slides over to his mark. 

You’re going to kill him. 

--

Six weeks of freedom from Sukuna and you’re hiding in the bushes with Armin, Annie, Connie, Sasha, and Marco next to you. Hands locked together as you watch Jean and Mikasa in the distance. And you make your best efforts not to cry, to not fully sob at the second time you’ve been able to witness a love so warm. 

It’s all so soft. So warm, so sweet, so much like Levi and Hange’s vow renewal that it makes your heart swell, to the biggest of shapes, for the two of them. 

Mikasa is getting engaged. Engaged to Jean, who has always been so sure of her. So quick to run to her defense, to love her like it’s his second nature. They’re going to be together, by each other's side, drunk at award shows and holding hands in taxis for the rest of their lives. 

Mikasa is wearing a white dress, soft and willowy, with her low cut Doc Martens. You convinced her that you just wanted to take her out for brunch, drive by the ocean a little bit before you leave town again. Because Jean had approached you, all squirrel like and antsy, and showed you the beautifully ornate ring he had gotten her and asked you to help her. 

And Jean. Sweet Jean, he’s fumbling with the box in the pocket as he talks to her. You can’t hear what they’re saying, but you can quickly tell that Mikasa is comforting Jean. That he’s stumbling over his words, his feelings, but she’s standing there and holding his hand. Walking him through them. 

And then Jean’s on one knee. Smiling up at her so hard he’s squinting, soft tears falling out of his eyes and her surprised expression. And she brings her hand up to her chest, right over her heart and falls to her knees to meet him, the two of them hugging each other so hard that it makes your chest squelch. 

“Crybaby.” Marco mutters, reaching over to swipe your tears. 

“Shut up.” 

You look back at them, at Jean and Mikasa lying down in the grass tangled in each other's arms, and can’t wait any longer. The five of you - Marco, Annie, Armin, Sasha, and you - run up and pile on, the six of you crying in each other's arms, pink faces. Armin snaps a polaroid picture of Jean and Mikasa - her hands wrapped around his face and the softest look on his face when he smiles back at her. And then one of you and Marco crying, holding each other for good measure. 

You reach for Mikasa’s hands the second Jean finally lets her go to hug Armin and Marco and your eyes are positively burning. 

“Oh, Mika. I’m so, so happy for you.” 

She’s crying. Her cheeks are pink, her eyes are red, and she has the full marks of love on her face. The softest kind of love. 

“Thank you, Y/N. You-you’re a treasure. I love you. Thank you for not letting me wear that ugly green dress earlier.” 

You laugh, wrapping your arms around her, and press a kiss to the side of her face. 

Your heart aches. For green eyes, brown hair, and a soft smirk that no one else gets to see. For snarky comments, for shameless flirting, for every hurt feeling in your chest being smoothed over like it was nothing. 

Jean and Mikasa make you long, long so ruefully for this feeling. The way they look at each other, the way he keeps tissues in all his pockets because she gets sniffly outside, how Mikasa is the only person who can handle him. The feeling you used to have. 

You’ve decided then and there. You’re going to get him back. And luckily for you, you’re flying to Seattle and in nine hours you’ll be there with him. On his birthday, with all this love you’re going to share again. 

You’re fish together. You’re not swimming forward without him. 

“Hey. Where’s Con? We should get ready to leave soon.” Armin asks, pointing at his watch. 

You look around at the crowd of you, Marco holding Mikasa’s hand in his as he admires the ring and gives Jean a smile. 

Where is Connie? 

You shrug as you tell Armin to stay, to keep taking pictures of the two of them, as you march around the garden, looking around for him. And you find him, knees hiked to his chest, crouched over with red eyes and a pink nose. You immediately reach for him and place your hand on his shoulder, which he immediately flinches at and then releases.

“Connie?” you ask, caught off guard. 

He relaxes when he realizes it’s just you and aggressively wipes the back of his hand against his nose and smiles. 

“Hey. My bad, they just got me too emotional in there. Fucking saps they are, I just love them so much.” 

“Okay. Con, are you okay? You-you don’t look so good.” 

He smiles again and it doesn’t reach his eyes. He’s sweating and…green. He places his hands against your cheeks and squeezes, his voice soft when he talks. 

“Always the type to worry, aren't you? I promise I’m fine, Y/N. Help me finish packing because I actually didn’t start.” 

“Huh? We leave in like an hour.” 

“Exactly why I need your help!” 

He stands up and pulls you along with him, your arms linked together, as you recruit Armin and Marco to help you pack. And you ignore the feeling, as you climb on the plane, nestled in between Armin and Connie, and focus on the important thing. 

Brown hair, green eyes, and the soft smile. 

You’re getting him back.

--

next part linked here

an, again: guess who is getting blocked on his birthday. eren no middle name jaeger.

taglist:

@k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha  @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @squirrelspoetry @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp. @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636

[amhrosina]

The Way of the Water (Namor x Reader)

MASTERLIST // CLICK HERE TO JOIN MY TAGLIST

A/N: Y'all thought I wouldn't immediately write a Namor fic as soon as I saw Wakanda Forever??? Anyways, this ended up being over 3k words lol enjoy! Also, I did my very best to translate from English to the Yucatec Maya language that Namor speaks. If I messed any translations up, please let me know! I will fix them asap if necessary.

Summary: You meet Namor on the beach one evening, and what follows is a whirlwind friendship that quickly develops into more, but what happens when the real world comes crashing down around you?

(Warnings: minor character death (off page), angst, grief, mutual pining, flashbacks??, allusions of smut, but no actual smut)

Translations:   

jats'uts lool – pretty flower  

in ch'ujuk – my sweet  

in yakunaj – my love  

Rain pelted the windows of your apartment, and the increasingly loud rumble of thunder reminded you of him. It always did. Even the sound of the shower running sent you spiraling into your memories of him. He had completely and irrevocably taken hold of you, and even though it had been over a year since you’d seen him last, you couldn’t shake the grasp he had on you, on your heart.  

You had always loved the water as a child; spent hours frolicking up and down the beach, playing a never-ending game of tag with the tide. As you got older, the games eventually evolved into hours of sitting in contemplation, watching the tide inch closer to you until it finally washed over your toes. By the time the brisk water found its way to you, you had figured out exactly what your next steps would be. There was never a problem you couldn’t solve by sitting near the waves, breathing with the sea.   

//  

The beach near your mother’s house is where you’d first met him. It was dusk, and a storm was brewing on the coast, so the beach was empty of tourists and surfers. It was just you and the waves, until it wasn’t.   

You watched as the water began to behave strangely, gently crawling up the beach towards you in an unnatural fashion. The tide was still hours away from being at its full height, and you struggled to make sense of it. Your mother’s voice was screaming at you in your head, telling you to run away from the beach and never look back, but as you stood, the water enveloped your feet, caressing your skin with so much gentleness that you were rooted to the spot.   

“Don’t be afraid, jats'uts lool.”  

His voice echoed in your head, taking over your body and soothing every fear building inside of you. It was a kiss to each eyelid, a brush across your cheek, a comforting hug around your waist. It echoed safety and warmth, and you felt your anxiety wash away as he breached the surface ahead of you.   

You took a step forward and faltered. His presence was God-like, but not scary, you decided. You could tell how much power he held just in the way he stepped onto the beach, covered in beautiful hand-carved makings. He stopped a few feet in front of you, watching you for any signs of fear, but you had none. Pure curiosity lit your face, and he couldn’t help but smile a little bit.   

“Hello.” You breathed, unable to take your eyes off the ethereal being in front of you. He was strong, yes, and likely very powerful, but he was also beautiful. You couldn’t move, still rooted to the spot on the beach.  

“Hello.” He responded. “I am K’uk’ulkan, but you may call me Namor, if it suits you.”   

There was a gleam in his eyes, one that you couldn’t read, but you continued to stare in awe at him.  

“Are you a God?” You asked, voice light and wispy. “My mother always warned me not to meddle with Gods, but you are not here to hurt me.”  

His smile grew into a wide grin at your comment about your mother, but he didn’t laugh.   

“I am a type of God, I suppose. I am not here to hurt you, but your mother is right, jats'uts lool. Meddling with the Gods is a foolish endeavor.”   

He turned to the sea and sat down in the sand, patting the space next to him.   

“Sit. I will tell you about my people, and you can decide if you want to continue playing with a God.”  

His voice allowed room for disagreement – he was giving you the choice to sit with him or leave – but you lurched forward to sit with him, the decision already made.   

“My people,” he started, searching the sea in front of you, “belong to the sea. As do I. We are a formidable presence, which is why we are still a secret from the world. Anyone who dares disturb my people learns rather quickly that we are not a force to be reckoned with. So, if I tell you this, jats'uts lool, you must not repeat it to anyone. Can you do that for me?”   

“Yes.” You breathed. Your body had subconsciously leaned towards him, drawn in by his melodic voice. “Why are you trusting me with this, K’uk-,” you struggled to pronounce the name he had given you but tried anyways. He turned to you, smiling as you tried again to say his name.   

“I have seen you here, sitting with the sea, many times before, even though you couldn’t see me. You are alone, jats'uts lool, sharing your secrets with the tide. That is why I trust you. Because you trust her.” He nodded towards the water.  

He began his tale, describing his journey to you with overwhelming passion. When he spoke about his mother, his eyes hardened, but softened when he looked back at you. You sat with him for hours, in awe of his story and his people. When he finished, he gazed at you in question, watching as you processed the information he had shared with you. Day had fallen to night long ago, but the dark felt trustworthy, like everything being spoken would be held within it for the rest of eternity.  

“This feels like a dream.” You finally said, shaking your head. “Am I dreaming?”   

“This is no dream, jats'uts lool. But I must return to my people tonight.”   

He stood, holding his hand out towards you. You rested your hand in his as he pulled you to your feet, refusing to let go, even though you were both balanced in the sand.   

“Will you come back?” You asked, searching his gaze.  

He brought his hand to your cheek, gently cupping your face. You leaned into his hold, breathing in the scent of salt and sea.   

“I will come back if that is what you wish, jats'uts lool.”   

“What does that mean?” You call after him as he makes his way back into the sea.   

“I will tell you when I see you again.” He smiled as the sea washed over him, pulling him down into the dark depths of it and out of your sight. You watched the sea for a few minutes, trying to convince yourself that he wasn’t a figment of your imagination, and then finally turned and headed back to your mother’s house.   

//  

A loud clash of thunder brought you back into the present, in your apartment where you had lost yourself, yet again, in thoughts of him. It had been like this since that first night with him, and only got worse after every visit. Your heart panged with guilt over leaving the coast without saying goodbye to him, but you had to go, had to get away from the town that had taken everything from you, and he hadn’t come on the night you needed him most. The storm would leave eventually, but he would stay with you forever.  

It had been almost a full year since you’d left your small coastal town, and you eyed your car keys as the desire to return overwhelmed you. It was only a few hours away, still close enough to be reached by car, but not so close that you would be reminded of your childhood at every hour of the day. Before you could convince yourself it was a bad idea, you grabbed your car keys and bolted out the door.  

//  

Namor visited again two weeks after the first night. You were sitting on the beach one night, later than you usually stayed, half-convinced that you had made him up, when the ocean began to stir. Your heart leaped into your throat as he made his way out of the water.   

You met him halfway up the beach, enveloping him in your arms. The sudden reminder that he was a literal God, and that hugging him probably broke all kinds of rules, had you stiffening against him. The thought quickly washed away as he wrapped his arms around you, tightening your body against his. He was unexpectedly warm, even though the sea was cold, and your skin broke out in goose bumps where it touched his.   

“You are real.” You mumbled into his skin.   

He chuckled, leaning his head back to look at you.   

“I am real, jats'uts lool.”   

This is how every reunion went. You’d hug him, he’d swing you around in the sand, and you’d spend hours talking about everything. He told you about his home, a place you dreamed about. You told him about your childhood, how alone you had been for most of your life and how he was probably your only true friend, even though he was a literal God. He talked about bringing the sun to his people, and you were so overwhelmed with something in your heart that you had to remind yourself that God’s don’t love humans the way humans love Gods.   

One night, he finally asked you what he’d been wondering about all along as you both sat in the sand, watching the tide make its way up the beach.   

“Why do you spend so much time alone, jats'uts lool? You speak of your mother, but I never see her here with you.”  

“I’m waiting for you, Namor.” You tried to brush his question off by flattering him, but he had never been stupid, and you sighed as he refused to let it go.   

“No, even before you knew of my existence, you would spend many hours here. Don’t think I haven’t seen you crying. What bothers you, jats'uts lool?”  

You couldn’t fight the tears welling up in your eyes. Namor waited patiently as you worked up the courage to respond.   

“It’s my mom.” You finally murmured, roughly wiping the tears from your cheeks. “She’s sick, Namor, and I can’t do anything to stop it. The doctors say it’s terminal. All there is to do is wait, now, for the inevitable. She will die, and I will truly be alone.”   

Namor watched you, carefully constructing his response. You couldn’t look at him as you tried and failed to stop the tears flowing down your face. He gently grasped your chin, tilting your head to look at him.  

“I am sorry, in ch'ujuk, for your sorrow. I understand the grief of losing one’s mother. It never leaves you, and for that, I’m sorry. But you will never be alone, jats'uts lool. You will have me.”  

He leaned in, planting two soft kisses on your eyelids and wiping away the tears from your cheeks. You couldn’t stop yourself from capturing his lips with your own. You didn’t think about the consequences, or how many rules you were definitely breaking by doing it. He didn’t seem to mind, though. He grasped your waist, roughly pulling your body towards his.   

He laid back on the sand, pulling you on top of him as his tongue explored every inch of your mouth. You rested your knees on either side of his waist, grinding into him. His hands couldn’t figure out where to rest, running up and down your body, cupping your head, and squeezing your thighs as you grinded into him again.   

The previous conversation finally caught up to his thoughts, and he gently pushed your body a few inches away from his. Your lust slowly warped into confusion at his abrupt stoppage.   

“Not tonight, in ch'ujuk, when you are vulnerable and sad.” He closed his eyes, tightening his hold on your waist. “When I take you, I want it to be because you want it, not because you are sad and in need of comfort.”   

“I’m not-,” the look he sent you buried any attempt of continuing what had transpired. Namor was right, and you couldn’t deny his assumption that you needed comfort more than anything.  

You sighed, resting your head on his chest. He held you tightly as another round of tears engulfed you, racking your body with ugly and guttural sobs.   

“It will all be okay, in ch'ujuk. You will always have me.” He murmured, running his hand over your hair in a soothing gesture.   

When it was time to part ways, you walked him into the water, clutching his hand in yours. The tide, usually violent by this time of the night, was peaceful around you. It always was, nowadays. He cradled your face, kissing your nose lightly.   

“I have something for you.” He murmured, gently grabbing your hand. He began to tie what was probably the most beautiful piece of jewelry you had ever seen around your wrist. “It was my mother's, and now it is yours. It is a beacon of strength and persistence. My people wouldn’t exist without it. Whenever you are feeling weak, let it guide you towards peace.”  

A wave of emotions overwhelmed you, and you couldn’t breathe. The significance of him gifting you something so special to him was so incredibly generous that you couldn’t stop yourself from crashing your lips into his. He kissed you in sweet, unhurried motions, letting you push every emotion you were feeling onto him. He would take all the hurt away if he could. Carry it on his shoulders so that you could breathe easier. It wasn’t just a connection with you, it would always be something more, something galactic, something intangible but never missing from his being.   

When he finally slid back into the water, you clutched the braceleted wrist to your chest and swore to never let go of it.  

//  

The sight of the sea after so long calmed your nerves, as it always did. You had parked in front of the house that had belonged to your mother for so many years and headed towards the beach where it had all started. The house belonged to you now, but you hadn’t stepped foot in it since the awful night that had sent you scurrying for dry land, far away from the world you’d grown comfortable in.  

When you stepped onto the beach, your nerves resumed their anxious drumming. The last time you’d been here, you had been so angry at the world, so incredibly grief-stricken and so sad. Your mother had gotten pneumonia, a curse that had taken many sick people before her, but you were convinced she would pull through. When she didn’t, and you had to watch as EMT’s rolled her body out on a stretcher, you had stormed to the beach, intent on burning the world around you.  

You had called to Namor, begging him to take you away from here. You prayed and cursed and screamed, pounding at the sand with your fists, but he didn’t come. You sat with the anger until it finally warped into an incredible sadness, swallowing you whole. When dawn finally cusped the horizon, and you had finally accepted that he wasn’t coming, you had turned from the beach, climbed into your car, and driven far away. You hadn’t come back, until now.   

The storm had followed you back to the coast, where it was brewing something heavy in the skies above you. A light rain had drenched through your clothes on your walk from your house to the beach. It was dangerous to be so close to the water when the skies looked like this, but you didn’t care anymore. You needed to be with the sea, with him, even if he hated you for leaving.   

You sat on the beach, watching as the rain grew heavier around you. The tide was violent and angry, whirling and crashing hard onto the sand in front of you. That’s fine. You shrugged. Let it be angry with you.   

A stirring in the sea had you bolting to your feet, running towards the turbulent water. Namor stalked onto the beach, head swiveling back and forth until he saw you. You couldn’t help the sobs coming from your chest. You fell to your knees in front of him, clutching the bracelet you had never removed from your wrist to your chest.  

“Namor.” You mumbled, voice strangled and weak. “Please forgive me.” You sobbed into your hands, dropping your head. You couldn’t look at him, but you would accept anything he gave you, even if it was anger.   

You felt his presence before you felt his touch. He slowly wrapped his hands around your wrists, gently pulling your hands away from your face. He was kneeling in front of you, concern written on his face.  

“In yakunaj, where have you been? The sea has been missing your presence for a year now. Why did you leave? Why did you go somewhere I couldn’t follow? Why did you hide from me?”  

“Namor,” you breathed, voice breaking. “My mom. She-”   

You couldn’t say it. You hadn’t been able to since that fateful night a year ago. But Namor knew, sympathetic expression dawning on his face as you spoke.   

“Oh, my love.” He murmured, pulling you into his chest. You wound your arms around his neck, holding him tightly. You squeezed your eyes shut, relishing his warmth. “I am sorry you have been dealing with this alone. The sea called to me, told me you were hurt and angry, but I was far away, and by the time I got here, you had left. I’ve come every night since, but the sea no longer held your presence. I could not find you, in yakunaj.”  

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled into his skin. “I’m sorry for leaving. I've hated myself since I left, but I couldn’t face what I’d left behind.”  

“Do not apologize for your grief, in ch'ujuk. I am glad you are here. I am glad you are safe. I’m sorry I could not protect you from this.”  

You pressed your lips against his, something you’d dreamt about doing every night since you’d left. After all this time apart, you finally felt like you could breathe again. He was here, and he didn’t hate you.   

“In yakunaj, my people have been working on a way for me to bring you home with me, so we can rule the seas together. It could be your home, with me. Is that something you would want?”   

You gasped at his proposal, mind whirring. “Do you mean it, Namor?” You murmured, searching his eyes for false promises.   

“Of course, jats'uts lool. They took notice of my absences after we met, and I could not lie about falling in love with a human from the surface. Some were weary, understandably so, but the sea whispered to them about your gentle heart, and the sea does not lie. They have already begun constructing a throne for you.”  

“Take me home, Namor. Your home.” You whispered, heart aching at the thought of Namor telling his people about you, at the thought of them accepting his love for you.   

“I love you, in ch'ujuk.” He murmured, capturing your lips with his.   

“I love you, my king.” You responded against his lips.   

The surface world had never really felt like home to you. The sea had been your home long before Namor had stepped onto the beach that fateful evening so long ago, but now it beckoned you into its warmth. It called to you, and you would be a fool to ignore it. Yes, meddling with Gods was a foolish endeavor, but Namor was your home, and there wasn’t a chance in the world of you turning away from him now. You took a step into the water.   

Home.   

Tag List:

@alexxavicry @hallecarey1 @km-ffluv @chiaraxtargaryen

This is my first Namor fic, so I'm only tagging those who asked to be tagged in every Marvel fic I post. If you'd like to join Namor's taglist or you want to alter your form, click here <3.

[syoddeye]

feel free to ignore this one-

i have been a big fan of fanfiction for a while and recently got into cod. and ive noticed a lot of poetic writers tend to head down the noncon/ddne territory, and i guess it’s always a conflict for me?

cus it’s beautiful, but always so fucking sickening. nasty stuff for sure. and being one of my favorite authors, i guess im asking if you believe the writing is supposed to justify it? romaticize it- instead of condemning? maybe it slips past me but im always unsure if the writing is supposed to be seen as strictly art that divulges into the depths of a dark mind and a bad man- or it’s indulging in a fantasy.

im breaking from my comfortable shell from the ‘white picket fence happy ending cute tale’ fanfiction and actually really enjoying reading dark fics because good ones do such a wonderful job at toeing the ‘this is so beautiful but I feel like vomiting’ line- but in the back of my mind i wonder if it’s supposed to be read in a positive light- like the assaulter is…good?

im a bit new to it all which is why I guess there’s a shred of shame in it, because I don’t like the actions in ddne. they’re unsettling, gross (unfeminist? unsure) - but the writing is often times why i have to finish them because it’s jus so beautiful, pulls you in. your guts are all shriveled but your mind is wide awake and your mouth is wide open like you’re trying to swallow the poetry whole (not to be dramatic).

have you ever felt this? or am i jus like. vanilla.

hey friend, thanks for your patience on this.

i know you’ve already reached back out and i’m glad the links shared here helped. i’m gonna respond to both asks here because i don’t want to break your anonymity without your consent.

i’m also disabling reblogs. everything below this is my opinion and experiences. other folks will obviously feel differently. (if any of my smart and talented friends want to chime in or correct me, please do.)

first, i respect and appreciate your openness. you are kind and your thoughtfulness shines through both messages. feeling conflicted about complicated and difficult topics is normal. not to get all woo-ey off the bat, but we’re human beings. this is our first time planetside and all that. it’s important to cut yourself some slack. this post is generally how i see it:

“the human brain is weird. sex fantasies ≠ actual desires. if you ask yourself, “would i want to act out this thing in real life” and the answer is “fuck no,” then you’re fine. shipping is also not an indicator of what you would condone in real life. you are not secretly a monster. you are a human being. human beings are complicated.”

you ask: [do] you believe the writing is supposed to justify it? romanticize it- instead of condemning?

no, and this is where i think the posts i shared help. i do not believe dead dove or dark fic justifies sexual assault and rape, in the same way i do not believe games or horror films make people violent.

you also share:

“maybe it slips past me but im always unsure if the writing is supposed to be seen as strictly art that divulges into the depths of a dark mind and a bad man- or it’s indulging in a fantasy.” “in the back of my mind i wonder if it’s supposed to be read in a positive light”

this just tells me you’re engaging with fiction in a normal way. it’s normal to process how a story affects you. when reading fiction that depicts the disgusting, there’s a chance you feel disgusted. you remind me of how i felt when i first started reading dark fic. i had to unpack and grapple with years of being told any sexual fantasy that wasn’t heterosexual + monogamous + only explored after marriage was a one-way ticket to superhell and made me an awful person. surprise, it doesn't!

again, i’ll echo my first reply in case anyone needs to see it again: content warnings and tags aside, if readers hit an unexpected limit/boundary/landmine in a fic that they know will adversely impact or trigger them, they need to exit immediately. disengaging from fanfic is a reader’s responsibility. no one is forcing anyone to read fanfic, and no one should feel like they have to finish fanfic because it’s beautifully written, at the expense of their well-being. 

(to note, because i don’t want folks to think i’m ignoring it, but i’m not going to wade into what’s feminist or not when it comes to fiction. i think that’s a whole other discussion and i’m not in the headspace to engage.)

(another note, semi-related - something that continually frustrates me in the broader discussion of dead dove and dark fanfic is the pressure for victims to share personal information to justify their opinion, no matter where it falls. while i do share some stuff about my personal life, i do have limits. i’ve been asked point blank in my ask box and ao3 comments if i’ve ever been sexually assaulted, because some folks feel entitled to that information to ‘justify’ my writing about it. people can and will make their assumptions, but i will never divulge that info here, on tumblr.com, of all places. that’s a hard line for me.)

to your second message, i am sincerely happy that those links helped. it really boils down to ‘it doesn’t equal your actual desires’. you said it was a huge relief to see that, and it is! again! i felt a galaxy brain moment when i stopped hating myself for liking darkfic. reading/writing dark fic isn't an endorsement.

and and and not to sound like your grandpapa out on the porch, but now that i know your age—you are young. do not beat yourself up for learning or not knowing your limits just yet. i am in my 30s and learning shit about myself all the time. i’ll be 60 and having lightbulb moments reading fanfic.

okay. i think i’ve yapped enough. linking to early’s post again because it’s so, so good.

[miukki960]

Okay, so I just finished Love for Love's Sake and..... I have so many thoughts. I could wax poetic for hours about how much I loved the show, but right now what I really want to talk about is my theory on the ending and the whole concept of the "game."

Please bare with me as I don't make posts like this (or any at all for that matter) often. Please forgive me if it's incoherent, my thoughts tend to run faster than my fingers can type lol.

Here we go!

First, who is the author sunbae? I think he's the embodiment of death. When Myungha wished on the shooting star for 1. Someone to care for him and love him and 2. To disappear,he was wearing what I'm pretty sure is the same outfit as when we first see him in the bar back in episode 1. This leads me to believe Death heard his wish, so when Myungha decides to end his life and regrets his decision in the last moment, Death decides to give him a chance to change his fate.

So he creates the "game" based on a novel he supposedly wrote. I believe this is a false memory he gives to Myungha so he will willingly play the game and try to change his fate. Which leads me to my second point...

Myungha is the author. The show did a very good job at keeping this subtle at the beginning. We as an audience are led to believe he is simply transported into the videogmae world and is at the mercy of the dating sim, but they show us multiple times that that's not the case.

Once, when Myungha mentions that the missions are written in his handwriting, a second time when we get a flashback of him actually writing these missions in a notebook at the bar, and a final time when we see him pen the shows Ultimate Mission using the Author's Pen, "Please make Cha Yeowoon Happy."

I started to get the idea that Myungha was the author back in the first few episodes when we started to see the side missions. Every mission he got screamed to me "this mission is actually for you, not Yeowoon." What was the first thing he did when he was supposed to get Yeowoon more friends? He befriended Kyunghoon himself. Save 3,000,000 won? For himself. Get Yeowoon followers? Using HIS Instagram. Which leads to point number three....

The game Myungha is sent to is actually a reenactment of his senior year of high school. All the characters he meets are actual people in his earlier life, his grandma, Kyunghoon, Sangwon. But in his original "playthrough" he didn't bother to befriend or interact with them, so they went about their lives unaffected, and he forgot they existed. I say all this with the exception of Cha Yeowoon.

Cha Yeowoon is a mirrored reflection of Myungha created by Death and inserted into the game. Myungha said himself at the beginning that Yeowoon was his favorite character because he reminds him of himself. Later on, we learn that their backgrounds are almost identical too. Yeowoon lost his mother, has an absent runaway father, and was raised by his grandmother. Myungha has a dead father, absent runaway mother, and is being raised by his grandmother. So at the beginning when Death asks Myungha if he will change Yeowoon's fate and rewrite his story, he's really talking about Myungha.

Adding to this, I also noticed something rather spectacular narratively in the second half of the show. The whole show, we watched Myungha try and (mostly) succeed at making Yeowoon happy. But suddenly I realized, as we watched him get happier and happier, Myungha was falling deeper and deeper into a sadness rivaling how we saw Yeowoon in the beginning. We stopped seeing the calculations of Yeowoon's affection level, and instead saw error messages and system malfunctions, representing Myungha's emotional state.

Which begs the ultimate question on everyone's minds to be answered. If the whole point of sending Myungha back to his 19yo self and giving him Yeowoon was to get him to love himself and be happy, why were the system malfunctions so devastatingly awful and cruel? Answer: because Myungha is the author, and he's depressed and self-destructive.

He begins to feel happy with the changes he's made, he sees Yeowoon happier and he feels like he's succeeding, yet the countdown message to his death still appears. It's ominous and impending and a constant reminder that he's failing. So as the author, he tries to revert back to factory settings by getting rid of the major changes to his life, Yeowoon and his grandmother. The two people who love him most, and the two people he thinks he deserves the least.

Sangwon said it the best. Myungha's main issue is that he refuses to receive love, both from others and himself. Which is why he fails the game and dies a second time. He followed the missions for Yeowoon and refused to let them break down his own walls like they were ment to.

But Death does see the change in him through Yeowoon. Being Myungha's mirror, Yeowoon represents the change that was supposed to happen to Myungha. So when Myungha (the him he hates) deletes himself in order to make Yeowoon (the him he loves) happy ("please make Cha Yeowoon happy"), Yeowoon is able to go full-meta, breaking through the game and rewriting the mission to "Please make Tae Myungha happy."

Thus saving Myungha and allowing him a third chance at a happy life, where he receives just as much love as he gives.

Don't ask me about the "he comes back disjointed from Yeowoon's timeline" thing bc I don't understand it narratively but it sure does make for a visually pleasing ending.

[bearsbeetsbeskar]

Somebody to Heal, Somebody to Hold

(Joel Miller x dispensary! reader)

Chapter 3: Blue Dream

Chapter 1 here || Chapter 2 here || Main masterlist

Pairing: Joel Miller x dispensary! reader, AU (no outbreak) Word count: 4.7K Rating: 18+ MDNI, will be changed to explicit in future chapters (slow burn, eventual smut), swearing, discussions of drug use, discussions of disordered eating, age gap (reader is early 20s and Joel is late 40s) Summary: Joel can't rely on pills anymore for his back pain, so his doctor prescribes him medicinal marijuana. But he's not happy about it.

A/N: It's here y'all! Peepaw got high, and now he has the munchies. For food, as well as for the reader 🌚. This chapter was so fun to write, I loved fleshing out their progressing relationship. PEEPAW gets teased endlessly for being old (I couldn't resist), and he gains a smoking buddy 🥹. As always, thank you to my main hype woman, my ride or RIDE, @iamasaddie for beta'ing. Your excitement and support means the world to me!

Please comment and reblog if you liked it and want to see more of this series! I'm so in awe and appreciative of all the lovely comments and support I've received so far, you guys keep this story going!

❤️ 🌹 - N

In the midst of smoking with Joel, you had forgotten how long it had been since you last ate. The rumbles coming from his stomach reminded you pretty quickly though. You hum and chew the inside of your cheek as you think of possible food options to satisfy the munchies.

Although pretty much anything tastes better when you’re high, thanks to the way that THC heightens your senses, especially taste, you want to get something he will like. You’re not sure why you care so much but you want him to enjoy it, as part of his first smoking experience. 

Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you start to scroll through UberEats to see what’s in the area. 

“Feel like eating anything in particular?”

Joel purses his lips together and hums. “Not really, I ain’t picky.”

You’re inclined to believe him but you still wanna mess with him, just a little bit.

“Ouh, there’s this really good vegan place in town that has good reviews and lot’s of options!” You look at him sideways and raise your eyebrows. 

“Uh,” He grimaces slightly before he can school his expression, “sure that sounds-” 

“I’m just fucking with you Joel” You lean in to shove him again as giggles start bubbling up from your chest. “I’d never eat that shit either, I love real food and meat too much to give it up”

“Thank fucking God,” he breathes out and runs a hand over his face. “I can’t stand it, everything is vegan this, vegan that. What happened to normal real food?”

You snort in response, still scrolling. And then something catches your eye.

“Oh shit! Apparently there’s a food truck festival happening at Bellwoods Park, just a couple minutes from here. There’s lots of different vendors, and it’s probably a lot cheaper than ordering take out. We’ll have to walk over but it’s not too far”

“Yeah, I’m up for that.” He perks up a bit and smiles at you.

No less than 20 minutes later you and Joel arrive at the food truck festival. You’re immediately surprised by how cozy and ambient it is. There’s numerous picnic benches in the middle of the grassy area and a few carnival games on the far end of the field for the kids. Twinkle lights are strung like a canopy over the entirety of the park, casting a molten amber glow over the festivities, complementing the warm hues of paper bunting strung from vendor truck to truck. People flock to the vendor trucks flanking the outside of the park perimeter. The smell of various fried foods and grills being fired up has your mouth watering and stomach growling again.

“Huh.” Joel whistled lowly, taking in the surroundings. “Been here for almost 20 years and I didn’t know this existed.”

“It looks like a seasonal thing that the city puts on every year, maybe there’s just more hype around it this year.” You surmise, following his gaze and looking around. “That or you just live under a rock.” A smirk sprawls across your face as you look back at him. 

He huffs out an exhale. “Wouldn’t be the first time I heard that.”

“Well, now’s your chance to explore,” gesturing to the lineup of trucks. The various vendors sell everything from shaved ice to burritos, to Korean bbq and Philly cheesesteak sandwiches. The options are endless. You’re about to suggest something to him when one truck in particular catches your eyes. 

“Oh my god, Smashburgers!” You make a beeline for the food truck, not even waiting to see if Joel follows you. The smell of charbroiled meat and greasy french fries fill your nostrils, creating another twinge of hunger in your stomach. It’s been ages since you had a good burger, and Rick’s Smashburgers was the best in town, you weren’t about to pass it up now. Sensing Joel’s broad presence approach your right side before you can turn around, you nod your head towards the menu plastered on the chalkboard against the side of the truck.

“Ricks has the best burgers in town by far. Trust me.” 

“Smashburgers? How are they any different from regular hamburgers?”

“They’re just better in general” you answer him as if it was obvious. He raises an eyebrow at you. “The patties are basically flattened or smashed and it makes them crispier and just better overall. Trust me.” Giving him your most pleading look, he sighs and looks at the menu, and then at the plates of burgers lined up at the window to be given to customers.

“They do look pretty damn good. Only-” he shifts his jaw and hesitates, “my doctor told me to stay away from red meat, and eat more veggies,” he grumbles defeatedly, staring at the menu like he wanted to burn a hole in it. 

You frown for a split second but it slowly morphs into a smile. Joel Miller is cute when he is grumpy. And for whatever reason, it actually warms your heart that he’s trying to be compliant with his doctor's orders. Still, you nod.

“Okay, well, we could always get something else. Althoughhhh” you pause for dramatic effect, “technically the burgers are thinner than regular burgers so there is less meat, and there’s lettuce and tomatoes on the burger.” You look sideways at him but he’s already shaking his head, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Who woulda thought I’d experience more peer pressure for eatin’ a burger than smokin’ weed. Jesus, I’m losin’ it.” The smile turns into a grin and there’s a glimmer in his eyes. 

“Sure darlin’, a smashburger sounds good.” 

—---------------------------------------------------------

If anyone had told Joel that in his lifetime he would eventually find himself at a festival surrounded by throngs of people, after smoking weed for the first time, with a woman he had just met, he would have told them to fuck right off. 

All because of his back pain. His godforsaken back pain. 

Admittedly, he had no idea what to expect when you said you would come over to show him how to smoke, but he definitely said a silent prayer when you offered, seeming to understand that the whole situation was embarrassing for him. You were so nice and personable. Just like you had been the day before when he came into the dispensary like a lost puppy.

The irrational part of him wanted to believe that you were just pitying him. Pitying a helpless middle aged man who’s geriatric aches and pains were running him into the ground. But your patience with him and calm reassurance about his concerns dismantled that theory. That, and the fact that you offered to come over after you got off work, during your free time. It didn’t seem like you were getting commission from going above and beyond with your customer service skills at the dispensary. What business would you have hanging out with a man who was at least two decades older than you?

Joel wasn’t stupid, and he certainly wasn’t blind to your beauty. Despite the playful banter you shared with him, and your wandering gaze that he caught dipping down to his lips and his body, he knew that he wouldn’t have a shot in hell with you. Regardless, he was buzzing with nervous energy when you knocked on his door.

Surprisingly, the actual smoking wasn’t as bad as he anticipated. Marijuana smoke tasted somewhat better than cigarette smoke. Weird, but better. The tang of the herb settled on his taste buds more easily than nicotine did during that one time he tried it all those years ago. 

It was actually enjoyable if he was being honest with himself. Although, he’s not sure if that’s because of your added presence or the weed actually doing its job. The monotony of inhaling and pulling from the joint, holding his breath for a few seconds and then exhaling slowly became muscle memory. The THC settled into his bloodstream as he felt the mellow warm buzz permeate his body and seep into his bones. The once aching flare of pain that was his constant companion no longer reared its ugly head, as he stretched beside you on the couch.  He genuinely couldn't believe it. 

He anticipated he would cough up a lung at one point or another, which he did. And he anticipated the back pain would be subdued, which it was. You also warned him of dry eyes and cotton mouth once the marijuana took effect in his system. Nevertheless, he’s caught off guard when his mouth goes bone dry and his eyes glaze over as he watches you do that trick. 

The french inhale. 

Seemingly mesmerized by the way the smoke pours out of your lips like viscous liquid, and the way you inhale it through your nose again, he all but loses it when you show him how to do the smoke rings. The way your plush lips pout, forming an O shape as you push the smoke out of your mouth, your cheeks slightly hollowed. You’re so close beside him that he can faintly smell the tropical notes of your shampoo and see the glassiness in your doe eyes when you smile at him. 

It’s the cruelest form of torture, he surmises. You're the sweetest siren, making the simplest gesture look sexy as hell. 

Caveman brain bouncing off the walls as he flexes his thighs, his left hand remains in his lap over his crotch while he curls his right hand into a fist. The sting of his nails digging into his palms keeps him tethered to reality, while he tries to ignore how tight the crotch of his pants are. 

But fuck, it’s a challenge when you keep looking at him like that, with a Cheshire cat grin plastered across your face.

His lust is interrupted soon enough when he feels his stomach let out the loudest rumble. And to his surprise your smile only gets wider in response.

It’s almost the same smile he’s witnessing in this moment, as he watches you take another big bite out of your burger and moan, almost pornographically. 

You both get burgers and decide to split some french fries for good measure. Nevermind the fact that you asserted, "a good burger isn't complete without a side of fries."

Trusting your judgment, Joel orders the same as you; a smashburger with crispy onions, lettuce, tomato, cheese and their special house BBQ sauce. Only no pickles for him, and extra bacon, cause why the fuck not?

Technically he’s following the doctor's orders. He’s already smoked the weed. The low cholesterol diet can start tomorrow.  

The burger is delicious. Like ridiculously delicious. 

“Damn” He says in between the first couple bites, “this is fucking good. Best burger I’ve had in a while actually.” Humming in agreement, you pop a couple fries in your mouth.

“I know right? I told you. Better than regular burgers.” 

They’re messy as hell but it’s worth it the minute the flavor of charred meat hits his tongue, the crispiness of the onions, coupled with the special sauce creating a mouthwatering combo.

You finish your burger at an alarming pace. Popping the last bite into your mouth, you grab a handful more of fries, dunking them into some ketchup. 

Christ, he thought he was hungry. You must have been starving considering it had been well over 5 hours since your lunch break. Before you can shove the fries in your mouth, you pause and raise your eyebrows at his ogling.

“What?”

“Nothing.” When you look at him expectantly he shakes his head. That small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Just surprised you have a big appetite, s’all.”

Somewhat bemused by his words, you tilt your head. 

“Most women I know, they just eat salads and healthy crap. Always watching their weight and being picky with their food.” He smirks, nodding his chin towards your plate. “It’s just nice to see a woman who can actually throw down.”

Shaking your head, you snort. “Please, life is too fucking short to deprive yourself and worry about the shit you eat. I’d rather die with a full belly of food that I enjoy than eat like a rabbit.” 

At that he lets out a loud guffaw. Not only do you have a decent appetite but you also got quite the potty mouth on you. He shouldn’t find that so attractive but he does. 

“Also,” you flippantly wave a fry around in your hand, gesturing to the near empty tray of food sitting on the table between you two, “who wouldn’t want to eat when the food is this fucking good?” 

Clicking his tongue against his teeth, he rolls his shoulders back and reclines in his seat with a wink. “Can’t argue with that logic darlin’.”

Over the next hour or so, you get to know bits and pieces about each other while picking at the remainder of fries.  Bouncing between topics, from food to work, to each other’s personal histories. Joel learns that your favorite food is pasta, grinning at you while you go off on a tangent about how pasta should be included as one of the main food groups. Doesn’t matter what kind of pasta, just pasta. 

His favorite meal is anything home cooked and southern. Of course, nothing beats a good old sirloin steak with roasted potatoes. He’s a sucker for cornbread too. Sweet desserts are his weakness he reveals, but he never usually gets them for himself, only bringing home treats when he knows his daughter Sarah will be in town. When Sarah isn’t home he’s usually at the mercy of fast food joints due to his work hours, “hence the high cholesterol,” he grumbles. 

That leads him to tell you about Sarah, how long he’s been in Austin, his job as a contractor. In return you tell him about going back to school and getting the dispensary job through Stef, just to have some money on the side. 

“I needed to throw myself into something after my ex and I broke up.” You sigh defeatedly and cross your arms, elbows resting on the table as you look down. “Naturally, I figured going back to school and getting a job would be the solution, only now it feels like I’m barely keeping my head above water.”

At that confession, Joel raises his eyebrows in disbelief. Guilt and shame wash over your features.  It makes him frown, his eyebrows pinching together. Sadness isn’t a good look on you, and even though he’s known you for less than a day, he doesn’t like seeing that look cloud your face. 

“Fuck him,” he quips, “his loss.”

Huffing out an exhale, you fiddle with a crumpled napkin on your side of the tray. Ripping up small bits of the crinkled paper and rolling them between your fingers. “You don’t know the whole story.”

He shrugs nonchalantly. “Doesn’t matter, still sounds like he lost out.”

When you don’t look up at him, just continuing to rip up the napkin, biting the inside of your cheek, his voice softens.

“Sorry. It’s none of my business,” he backtracks, “you don’t have to tell me.”

At that you finally look up at him, “no, it’s okay Joel. Really. It’s been a while since we split.”

He nods slowly, waiting for you to continue.

“In the end we both wanted different things. He was ready to settle down, get married, buy a house, and start popping out kids. It took me a while to realize that that was far from what I wanted.” You stare off to the side, watching the kids at the far end of the field run throughout the maze of festival games. 

“I guess you could say we split amicably, but we were together for a long time," you continue on. "When it was over he didn’t hesitate to tell me that I would never find someone like him, that I’ll never find someone who would love me as much as he did, and how he did so much for me, blah blah blah. That kinda bullshit” You chuckle hollowly, folding your arms across your chest. 

“I’m sorry.” He apologizes again, silently cursing at the asshole who managed to convince you that you wouldn’t find someone better. 

Wishful thinking claws at his chest as he swallows. He knows he probably wouldn’t be that much better for you either. You’re warm, caring, funny, gorgeous with a sharp wit that he finds painfully endearing. Who wouldn’t want you?

He swallows before he speaks up again. “It happens that sometimes people grow apart, realize they have different values and want different things. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that. It hurts but better you figure it out now rather than later. I learned that the hard way,” he says with a regretful smile. 

You shake your head, giving him an out before he says anything else. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.”

“Nah, it was a while ago. A long time ago. My ex and I, we had Sarah when we were real young.” He chuckles without any mirth. “Young and dumb. We had no idea what we were doing, but we both knew deep down it wouldn’t work. I was working ridiculous hours to make ends meet for us and she wasn't happy about that. We realized how different we truly were and figured it was for the best that we split.” 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.” There’s concern in your eyes but you give him an empathetic smile. “But in the end, you got Sarah, right?”

Exhaling deeply, he nods and smiles softly. “Yeah. Thank God. She’s my whole life honestly. Gives me a reason to get up in the morning. She’s crazy smart, sometimes too smart for own good, but she has a heart of gold. Always wanting to help out others.”

He stares off into space, recalling his daughter's bright eyes, halo of curls, and her wide grin. God he missed her.  It’s only as he’s telling you this does Joel realize that he doesn’t really have a life outside of Sarah. She’s not at the age anymore where she needs constant care, she’s independent and living away from home. The only people he really sees regularly are Tommy, when he deigns to drop by the house, or when they work jobs together, and the guys on his team. But outside of work? He doesn’t really do much of anything or see much of anyone. It dawns on him that he leads quite the obstinate life.

“You mentioned she’s away at college?” Your question pulling him out of his placating thoughts.

“Yeah, she started last semester. She comes home when she has breaks and during holidays. It’s quiet without her around.” He isn't aware of the somber look that washes over his face, but you quickly pick up on it.

“I’m sure she misses you just as much.” You look at him earnestly and give him a small smile. 

He scoffs, “yeah right,” leaning back into his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. “She’s living that freshman life. Classes, studying, partying,” he adds the last part hesitantly, with a bit of a bite. “She ain’t thinking about her old man too much.” 

Clicking your tongue, you give him a reprimanding look. “You keep saying you're old Joel but that’s a fat lie.”

He goes to interrupt you but you hold your hand up in front him. “I saw your driver's license back at the dispensary Joel. You’re not old. Just because you’re over 40, doesn’t mean you’re a fucking fossil. C’mon.” 

Seemingly accepting that he won’t be able to win this argument with you, he huffs and smirks, his arms still crossed over his chest.

“Whatever you say darlin’”

At that, you bite your lip and look down. The small terms of endearment fluster you. He likes seeing you flustered.

You pull your phone out of your pocket to check the time, and he feels himself deflate at the notion that you would have to go and that this night would come to a close. He hopes that you won’t tell him that you have to go. Already anticipating that disappointment he clears his throat and starts to stack the garbage on top of your tray.

“I’m pretty stuffed after the burger. Wanna walk around for a bit? See what else is around here.” You bite your lip, gauging his response.

Trying not to sound overly eager and excited, he smiles. “Yeah alright.”

No less than 30 minutes later, he finds himself strolling beside you around the perimeter of the festival lawn, a cup of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in his left hand, while you both take turns scooping spoonfuls. 

The tips of his fingers prickle from holding the frigid paper cup as he hums around another spoonful. “Chocolate chip cookie dough is okay, but I still think maple pecan is better,” he grumbles.

You groan. “Ugh, I’m not getting into this again Joel,” glaring at him out of the corner of your eye as you lick the back of your spoon. “I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt with the whole old man thing but maple pecan is an old man flavor. Sorry not sorry. You might as well suck on a Werther’s candy”

“Jesus,” he scoffs. “A Werther’s original? Why don’t I just put on some suspenders, get some bifocals, and sit in the park with the paper every morning.”

“Mmm, you never know. I think bifocals would really suit you,” Your tongue pokes the inside of your cheek. Giggles bubbling up in your chest, while Joel shakes his head.

“I’m just saying, even plain vanilla would have been a better choice. A redeemable choice. Maple pecan is almost as bad as..” you wrinkle your nose while thinking of a comparison, “rum and raisin.”

Just as you go to scoop another spoonful out of the cup, Joel stretches his left arm up and back behind him, holding the cup out of your reach. You don’t bother to jump up to reach the cup as He shamelessly enjoys the sight of how he dwarfs over your tiny frame. 

“Hey! Joel-” 

He says your name in return solemnly, but the corners of his mouth curl upwards ever so slightly. “You take that back right now. That’s a classic.”

“It has raisins in it! You can’t be serious! Dried up grapes have no business being in ice cream man, it’s criminal.”  You huff out a breath and look up at him in exasperation. 

“Didn’t know you were so passionate about ice cream.” He has a shit eating grin on his face at this point. Completely enamored by how cute you are when you’re annoyed. He can’t help but tease you a bit more. 

“You know I was havin’ a real good time tonight darlin’ but that’s my last straw.”  

Rolling your eyes, you smirk. “Just like that huh? You’re stone cold Joel Miller. Alright then, but good luck finding another smoking buddy who can teach you really cool tricks”

At that, he relents. Dropping his arm back down to his side. 

“Smoking buddy?”

You’d want to smoke with him again?

The term you coined has his mind melting into mush, and his stomach doing flips at the possibility of seeing you again. 

“You’d wanna do this again? I mean- you'd want to smoke together?” He asks pensively, his amber eyes rounded as he looks down at you.

“Yeah,” you peek up at him through your lashes. “Why not? I’m always down to smoke. Plus I still gotta teach you how to roll your own joints, and maybe how to do some tricks as well.”

Winking at him you add on, “save you some money so that you don’t have to keep coming to the dispensary for your pre rolls.”

He presses his lips into a thin line before he can spit out the Pavlovian response on the tip of his tongue. Joel knows he would have come to the dispensary anyway to see you, regardless of if he was going to buy anymore weed. Hell, he would use any excuse he could to see you again. But he decides against telling you that.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, and licking his lips, his mouth opens slightly as his gaze dances across your face. From your eyes, down to your lips, and back up again. You’re so close. So close he could reach out, curl a finger into one of your belt loops, pulling you closer until your bodies are flush. 

“I’d really like that darlin’”

You tilt your head and gaze up at him. “Good.” You glance briefly at your phone and frown. “I do have to go now though. I’m opening at the dispensary tomorrow so I should get some sleep. As should you,” you give him another playful shove, “old man.”

He grumbles in response.

You exchange numbers before heading your separate ways, sending him off with a warm smile. The same smile you greeted him with when he first stepped into the dispensary and nearly had a panic attack. “This was fun Joel. Text me next time you wanna smoke.”

Pausing for sec and squinting your eyes in mock concern, you ask him “Wait, you do know how to text right?” 

You attempt to bite back a laugh with no success as he swats at you like a fly, and you jump backwards, dodging the swipe of his big hands. “Yes little miss, I know how to fuckin' text.” He makes a noise of disapproval and narrows his eyes at you. "Cheeky." 

You’ve only known him for less than 24 hours and you already know how to push his buttons. 

Though he's not really annoyed in the slightest. He allows it. What's more is that he actually likes it. Really likes it. The playful banter and flirting that you throw his way, he’s more than happy to return it. 

Your chuckles die down. “Alright alright, just checking, relax.”

You send him a quick text with your name, and his phone pinging right away. 

“I’ll see you around Joel.”

“See ya around darlin’” He drawls with a grin as he watches you turn to leave.

There’s a pep in Joel’s step as he walks back home. Contentment mixed with anxious excitement. The effects of the high have faded quite a bit, and his head clears as he continues down the sidewalk to his house. He’s pretty happy. Unreasonably happy for someone who just spent the evening with a woman he barely knows. But he felt like he got a deeper glimpse into who you are. What’s more surprising is that he wants to know more. He wants to know more about you. Wants to do more things with you.

Do more things to you.

But again, he keeps that to himself for fear of ruining whatever is slowly building between you two.

Trudging up the porch stairs, he glances at his watch.

10:02 p.m.

He considers texting you to see if you got home safe. 

No. He didn’t need you thinking he was a desperate creep. As he crosses the threshold and closes the door behind him, he leans back against it, his head thudding against the wood. 

Just then, he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket, the familiar ping sound resounding through the empty front hallway of his house.

[You]: “Hey! Just wanted to make sure you got in okay, seeing as it’s much past your bedtime 👴🏼”

Huffing out a chuckle, he rolls his eyes and tries to ignore the flutter in his chest that you texted him first. His fingers fumble as he squints at the screen to type out a response. 

[Joel]: “Could say the same for you. What happened to getting sleep because you work early tomorrow?” 

He could leave it there and just see what you say. But the excitement from the evening as well as simmering current of lust running through his body has him feeling bold. He wants to push a little bit more.

[Joel]: “Naughty girl.” He bites his lip before hitting send.

The three little dots appear and reappear a handful of times as you start to type and then stop.

Shit. Was that too far? Did he just fuck up any chance he had at seeing you again because he has no self control? Probably. It was so hard to restrain any sort of control when you made it so easy to tease back. Your playfulness and doe eyes are a wicked force to be reckoned with, and it only made Joel want you more. 

Waiting for you to text him back and tell him to fuck off, or politely shut it down, his mouth gapes open when you do finally respond. 

[You]: “Never said I was a good girl 👀”

He exhales harshly. “Fucking hell.” His fingers tapping furiously as he sends the next message.

[Joel]: “That so? I don’t believe that. You’ll have to prove me wrong next time darlin.”

Your response comes lightning fast. Nothing else aside from a series of suggestive emoji's.

[You]: Goodnight Joel 😈 🍃 🔥 💨

Joel clenches his jaw and exhales deeply. He shoves his phone back in his coat pocket, and rubs his hand over his face.

What has he gotten himself into?

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls-3x8: Let The Games Begin aka Let The ShitCircus Begin Aka Clowntown (Part 2)

@ernestonlysayslovelythings: "Luke saying "Rory will rub off on Jess" seems like a missed opportunity for a joke" Indeed, my friend. He lobbed me a softball and I missed the catch. In all fairness, I was ducking it in hopes that said softball would miss me and bean Lorelai in the forehead. *cracks knuckles* *deep inhale*

Rory and Jess have just signed an 8 month No Rubbing Off contract. Rory is saving all Rubbing Off until marriage. Not her marriage, just a marriage (okay, fine,I plagarized this one) There will be no Rubbing Off until funding for the Handjobs For the Hollow initiative is secured

Shane : (emitting a series of swan honks) Translation: “I was rubbing off on him every day! Until he fucking cut off my hands!" At least I think that's what she said. There are different swan dialects. I’m still learning how to translate, doing SwanOLingo…

After Kirk comes into the diner grief stricken about his missing Dance Marathon trophy, Rory arrives after, where she appears nervous and has a very stilted and awkward interaction with Luke, and my brain was so half asleep that I couldn't figure out why. Then I'm like...oh yeah. That whole Jess thing. Right. Someone just woke the hell up.

I love that this scene is supposed to take place after school (confirmed by Kirk asking Rory where she was at 10am today and she says school) and Jess is rubbing his eyes like he just woke up.

It's nice to see Rory looking at Jess like a deer caught in the headlights because she in quiet awe of him, as opposed to Rory looking at Dean like a dear in the headlights because she fears him.

Tomatos sign! Another reminder that this feral kitten is a grown woman's arch nemesis and in a few moments she's going to say she wishes he would die in a house fire. Don't listen to him, Luke. Look at this kitten. He's clearly emaciated. He got seperated from his feral cat colony and he's hungry. *checks for microchip* *puts out a tin of tuna* *pspspsps*

You would, miss Eats Parmesan Cheese Straight from the Can and Sandwiches With No Innards and French Toast Without Utensils. Soon to be Miss E Coli. We interupt this nonsense for some breaking news. As I was writing this, I was interrupted by an earthquake.

This must have been God breaking free of the heavens and blessing the union between Rory and Jess. Or more like Satan breaking free from the earth and cursing this bitch.

Smoother than a fresh jar of Skippy, this SexCriminal.

This was a grade a Filet Mignon Okuh right here. I will continue to delight in the fact that Rory and SexCriminalJess dated for 6-7 months and despite all the fretting from adults with nothing else to do but nose into the sex lives of adult teenagers, they never have sex, and after all that fuss and furious cockblocking she just ends up screwing Dean instead. The fact that the adults in Stars Hollow are so in awe of Jess' sexual prowess to believe that if Rory were to be in his presence unsupervised for mere moments, her clothes would just fly off and they'd be found humping on the floor is hilarious and infuriating but also, not completely untrue.

"There goes my nephew the Gigolo" He's in awe the speed in which his nephew works, as it would take Luke over 4 years to get Lorelai upstairs alone to makeout.

#SexCriminals Look at all this furious naked humping going on. By god, I bet she's already pregnant. This is the sexiest complete avoidance of eye contact I've ever seen. You better hurry and put a stop to this, Adults!

That kiss was so chaste Mama Kim wouldn't even blink. She could bring them to church and use them as explemary role models for abstinence. They're even Leaving Room for Jesus. Luke:

That was A MINUTE. I know we're going to hear from Lorelai at a future time about how Crusty impregnated her with the speed of a jackrabbit on Adderall, so Jess could theoretically knock Rory up in a few seconds using telepathy or something, but give the boy some damn credit. Can't you people let this kid have ANY fucking joy (or privacy) in his life? I am so mad. It takes a lot for me to get mad at Luke Danes. This is what Luke and Lorelai are imagining will happen in less than a minute:

[smolwritingchick]

The Bangtan Gal Chapter 88- This Is Not A Drill!

Chapter Summary: BTS watch and support Jennie's Wild N' Out Episode. A BTS member calls out Matt Rife on Twitter for being persistent with Jennie during filming. Jennie's WINGS 8 video and concept photos are released which breaks the internet. Jungkook and Jennie discuss taking the next step in their relationship

Words: 10,000+

Author's Note: I loved writing that Wild n Out chapter! It's so funny because I wrote it years ago and rereading and editing that chapter made me chuckle because I met Matt Rife in 2022 and I'm like, wow, full circle moment. He's pretty darn cool and super nice. It was funny writing about him.

I hope you enjoy this chapter and enjoy Bangtan's reactions! My gosh, we are almost there to where I stopped writing the story. Just a few chapters left and then I will start writing new chapters. Updates will be slower once I make it to where I stopped. I hope you bear with me as I research and get my ideas and timeline on track!

--------------

“We just gotta wait a little bit to set up,” Angelina informed as she plopped down on the seat next to Jennie.

Here they were at the tattoo shop, eager to get the tattoos that they’d been wanting. While waiting, Jennie watched a couple walk out hand in hand. It appeared that they had gotten relationship tattoos based on the wrappings on their arms. She smiled softly as her mind wandered to Jungkook.

She missed him immensely and the feeling of his warm hugs. Whipping out her phone she gave him a quick text.

Jen: I miss u :(

She assumed he was probably practicing, so she expected him to reply later. But he instantly replied which surprised her.

JK: You have no idea how much I miss u :(

JK: What r u doing now?

Jen: About to get a tattoo with Angelina :P

JK: whaaaaa!?

Immediately she received a Facetime call from him and answered while giggling.

“You’re a tattoo shop!?“ he asked excitedly. "Show me! Show me!”

“Hehehe, okay! Okay!” she flipped the camera to scroll around the shop.

“Aw man, I wish I was there,”

Jungkook still wanted to get tattoos ever since he spoke about it on American Hustle Life. When will he get them? He wasn’t too sure yet. He wanted to plan it all out on what he would be getting and where he wanted them.

“Ooo is that Jungkook!? Hey you!” Angelina waved once Jen flipped the camera back to show them.

Jungkook waved back and began to speak in English, “Hello! How are you, Angelina?”

“I’m waiting to get inked~! How’s the preparations for the comeback going?”

“Good. We are working hard.”

“I heard a little preview of Begin. It’s a beautiful song,”

Angelina’s response made Jungkook smile shyly as he thanked her. Jen smiled at their exchange. For a while now, Jungkook had started getting better at holding conversations in English.

“Is Jennie behaving herself?” he asked playfully.

“I’m literally right here, holding the phone,” Jen reminded and they laughed.

“How did the recording go for the show?” Jungkook asked a bit too eagerly.

Jennie had informed him of how persistent Matt had been in her DMs and it bothered him greatly. 

“Well...” Jen wondered how she should bring it up. “Matt was getting annoying. Constantly trying to flirt and make moves on me,”

As soon as she said that, Jungkook raised an eyebrow and started to look discontent that Matt did that. 

"He started flirting with you?" he asked in an unamused voice.

Angelina looked impressed at how quickly Jungkook's expression changed and the sudden aura he radiated when he got mad over Matt. He certainly doesn't play when it comes to Jennie.

Thinking of Matt's failed attempts, Angelina let out a laugh. "Matt was sooooo thirsty! But trust me, Jennie ended his life on the show. It was frickin hilarious,”

“I feel like I’m going to be aggravated watching him try to make moves on you,” Jungkook predicted, poking the inside of his cheek.

“You will,” Angelina nodded. “And then laugh when you see how Jennie responds during each game,”

“Yeah, he won’t be a problem no more. You’ll see when the episode drops,” Jennie confirmed with a nervous smile, noticing her boyfriend getting irritated.

"What did he do to you at the show?" Jungkook asked.

"Um...well he tried to kiss-"

"He tried to kiss you?" he asked with a frown.

"I stopped him. I slapped him. It's going to be funny to watch, I promise,"

"Oh, I know it will be. But the fucking fact that he tried to kiss you is pissing me off. He can kiss my everloving fists. What the hell is his problem? If someone says no, back off," he said with anger in his voice.

"A-are you mad at me?"

"Mad at you? Never. Don't ever think that, Jagi. None of this is your fault," his voice became gentle when he replied to her which Angelina noticed. Then his voice got stern when he spoke about Matt again. "It's him for not respecting your rejection. I'm getting sick and tired of men trying to put their hands on you or make advances towards you when you're mine,"

"Oop," Angelina became amused while Jennie's face began to feel flushed.

'I like this side of Jungkook,' Angelina thought.

"There's something I've been wanting to talk to you about. I know you're waiting for your tattoo appointment but this has been on my mind for a while," Jungkook told Jennie.

"What's up?" she asked.

Angelina glanced at the couple. Jungkook was radiating that competitive energy and she was loving it.

"When do you want to go public? Because I really want people to know that you're mine. And that you make me happy. I've been thinking about it for a while and wanted to plan it out with you and Big Hit,"

Jennie nodded. "I've been thinking about it too...I want to go public, soon. Before this year is over? Because you know how Dispatch likes to reveal relationships during New Year's. There is no doubt they've been paying close attention. I have a feeling it's going to be us they'll reveal. I rather beat them to it,"

"So, you want a pull a Dispatch before this year is over?"

"Yeah. We'll discuss it more when I'm back in Seoul,"

"Good. I can't wait," 

After their phone conversation, Angelina started laughing. "Your man radiates that ENERGY and I love it. He wants to go public so he can have his hands all over you and so men can back off. You know he's going to be holding your waist and putting an arm around you, frequently,"

Once they were called in for their appointment, Jennie went first, sitting on a chair while Angelina sat beside her.

"Nervous~?" Angelina asked.

“I don’t know how it’s going to feel but I feel ready. Hold my hand?” she reached out for her.

Angelina held her hand as the tattooist went to work. Jen felt unbothered as she sat there. Angelina noticed she was not squeezing her hand for dear life and it did not look like she was in pain at all. Jennie’s face was completely calm.

“You not in pain?” Angelina asked.

“This feels good,” she responded, making her laugh.

“A lot of people’s pain tolerance is different. And first timers tend to freak out about the pain and make it worse than it is. You’re taking this well,” they heard the tattooist say.

“Wow~! I can’t wait for mine,” Angelina beamed.

The friendship tattoos they planned to get were going to be small microphones with music notes. Each microphone has their initials on it, placed identically on their left wrists.

‘Wow...my first tattoo,’ Jennie thought with elation.

She felt great and a little bit cooler now that she had some permanent ink on her black skin. Following being told how to take care of it, she switched seats with Angelina and held her hand while she got hers. As soon as she felt the tattooist go to work, Angelina let out a chuckle and realized the pain was not bad at all.

“Wow~! It don’t even hurt!” she said. “All those YouTube videos I’ve seen of people freaking out,”

“Right? Team high pain tolerance,” Jen praised themselves.

Jennie sent Jungkook photos of her new ink once they left the shop. As Jungkook looked at the photos, he was amazed at how beautiful it looked on her skin.

JK: Whaaaa it looks amazing!

JK: Wow!

JK: Did they hurt??

Jen: Nah, I like a little pain LOL. It felt good actually.

Jen: I guess I have a high pain tolerance for tattoos. I want more down the line

JK: I want one now...

Jen: U should!! When you’re ready, I’ll come with you or something!

Arriving back home after spending a few more days with Angelina, Jennie showed her sisters the tattoo. They were excited to see it and it had already started to slowly scab and peel. The downside of it was that the tattoo was itching like crazy. All part of the healing process. Jen refrained from scratching and made sure to clean and moisturize it daily.

Since Jennie had been back home, she had been involved in her sisters’ projects. With Alani, Jen aided her in filming DIY videos. Alani had developed her hobby of creating DIY items and put them on her YouTube channel along with her other journalism projects to build up a portfolio.

It was hilarious to see how disoriented Jen looked and the shocked facial expressions she would make when things came together from the materials Alani would use. Alani also used her for interviews as they talked about dancing, singing, and the music industry. Jen watched her with wonder because Alani had become very comfortable on camera. Years of practice had been paying off.

With Vienna, Jennie played the guitar while she covered songs to post on her YouTube channel.

“This time, I’m covering a few Maroon V songs. Can’t Stop and Harder to Breathe,” Vienna had told her.

Once the music sheets were printed out for the songs, and they sat together, Jennie strummed an acoustic version for both songs. Vienna had lungs. That’s for sure. The camera caught Jennie smiling at her big sister as she continued to get in her zone, singing out the lyrics.

-------

Seated by her desk in her room, Jennie had a plate of Popeyes chicken, patiently waiting for the planned Facetime call to celebrate Jungkook’s birthday. She felt regretful for not being there to spend his special day with him. As much as she loved being home, she was missing out on a lot with the group and missed the boys terribly.

Moments later her phone rang and she happily answered it. Setting the phone up across from her so her hands could be free, she got a view of Hobi popping on the screen with a bright smile.

“Munchkin~!” he chirped.

Her eyes lit up. “Hobi~!”

“Look at you! Adorable! Your hair looks so nice today!” he pointed out, unaware of her wig.

“Thanks! How is everyone?”

“Without you here, things are a bit disordered. But we are doing well. Ah, we are all together, again!” he praised as he began to walk to where the boys were. “We couldn’t let Jungkook blow out the candles without you with us!”

“Awwwww,”

"Jennie is on the phone~! Now we can celebrate!” Hobi loudly shouted while moving the phone to show to others.

They were all yelling her name and waving, asking various questions about how she was doing and that they had missed her dearly.

“Jennie!” Jungkook grinned.

“Jungkook! Happy birthday! I’m sorry I can’t be there physically but at least I’m about to somewhat be here to celebrate,” she smiled brightly.

“You being here with us on Facetime is more than enough.”

“How was Wild N Out?” Namjoon asked.

“A journey,” she laughed nervously.

“Will Jungkook get jealous?” Jimin asked slyly.

“You know he will,” V teased him, making the Golden Maknae look at them, unamused.

“It’s a funny episode, you guys will love it. It’ll be out soon. Wow, that cake looks so good. I wish I could have a slice. But I have my red velvet cake to suffice. I’ll eat it after my meal,”

“Are we ready to sing?” Jin proposed.

“Uh huh! Let’s do it!”

Jungkook, seated in front of the cake smiled cutely as the group sang Happy Birthday.

“Happy birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Jeon Jungkook! Happy Birthday to you!”

“Make a wish!” Hobi gestured.

“Make a wish, a wish!” Jin added.

Jungkook closed his eyes for a moment.

“Did you make a wish?” V asked.

Opening his eyes, Jungkook smiled. “Yes, I did. Should I blow?”

“Yeah! 1! 2! 3!” the group counted down and cheered once he blew out the candles.

After eating and Facetiming with the group, Jungkook took Hobi’s phone to have some alone time with Jennie.

“So, what did you wish for?” she asked and observed him running a hand through his hair. A gesture she thought was cute.

“Well, what I’ve been wishing for, I already have it. So, this year, I wished for good things with Bangtan,”

“Oh really? What have you wished before?”

“Us together,” he grinned.

His answer made her heart soar as she felt her face heat up.

“I am happy it came true. Because I am very happy with you,” she said with no hesitation.

“And I’m happy with you too,”

“I’m happy with you guys, too~!” Hobi randomly popped into the screen, surprising Jungkook.

Jen giggled as Jungkook bickered with Hobi about interrupting their moment.

-------

With Bangtan, they sat around the living room to watch the anticipated episode of Wild N Out. J-Hope took a group selfie in the dorm’s living room which was filled with decorations to root for Jennie. Decorations consisted of a large poster of Jennie’s head that was held up by Jin, smartie banners, Jen as Captain America themed decorations, and much more. Fans thought the gesture was cute and hilarious.

ARMY thought it was sweet of Jennie's idol friends to even post about watching the episode to show support for her. From Big Bang, Block B, GOT7, and EXO, to the 97 Liners of Twice, Seventeen, and so on. It made people happy to see Jennie in her element back home.

Jennie was on the laptop via Skype to watch with the boys as they placed the laptop on a chair to act like she was sitting with them.

As the group began to watch with Korean subtitles, they cheered when they watched Angelina walk out on stage.

“Your girlfriend~!” V teased his leader who was smiling in response.

Angelina was going to be attending some of the end of the year shows as a guest of Jennie. Jen had insisted she come since she always would be her hanging partner for the American award shows. Namjoon couldn’t wait to see her and spend quality time with her.

Once they watched Jennie walk out on the stage, the boys whooped and hollered while yelling her name.

“Smartieeeeeeeeeeeee~!” Yoongi yelled and pointed

“Oh my gosh...” Jennie laughed at their excitement.

"Man...I'm so bummed," Jen said.

"Why is that?" the Wild N Out girl asked.

"I wish we could go to the movies together. But they don't allow snacks in," she replied as she was met with giggles and cheers from the crowd.

"AHHHHHHH!" the boys yelled, praising her for the cute pick up line.

"Wow. You are beautiful," Matt Rife complimented the girl. "Now, as much as I would like to shoot my shot at you, there is someone else in this room that I've had my eye on for a while now and I want to holla at her instead,"

When the members watched Matt turn his attention to Jennie, they began to yell at the TV while Jennie held in her laughter. Just as she expected them to react.

“His stupidity is larger than I anticipated. He really does want to die,” Yoongi said bluntly.

"Um, are you serious?" Angelina complained. "She is wayyy out of your league,"

“She’s right. She is out of his league and she’s mine,” Jungkook muttered while the rest of the members were laughing at Angelina’s statement.

"All your reasons are valid. And I fit the description. But I couldn't help but wonder about your ideal type in a more physical way. I bet you want a man that has experience. Somebody that knows exactly..." Matt leaned in close. "...what he's doing and how to take care of a queen like you. Somebody that can handle all that. I'm that man,"

Hobi howled with laughter, “He wishes!”

"He can't even take care of his crusty lips. Get the fuck out of here," Yoongi grumbled.

“He’s getting too close...” Jungkook narrowed his eyes, not pleased about his actions.

“The only man for her is Jungkook! End of discussion!” V shouted angrily.

"I'm glad you pushed him away, Ennie. He was all up in your personal space, that's disrespectful," Jimin commented.

"You don't have a boyfriend, do you?"

"And if I do?" Jennie replied smoothly.

"If you do?" he ran a hand through his hair, "Well, I can confidently say that he won't be your boyfriend for long,"

Jungkook scoffed and poked the inside of his cheek.

Was that supposed to be a threat?

"And what makes you so confident?" Jen asked.

"You may not hear a lot about the girls I've had and I may not have as many as some of these guys on stage but just know my satisfaction rate is higher. And you can find all that out later if you let me have your number," he offered with a soft smirk.

“Boooooooooo!” Jin and the 95 liners yelled.

"My ears! Ugh, that was horrible!" Hobi whined.

“That was not smooth at all. He shouldn’t have gotten a point,” Namjoon complained. “My lyrics for Trouble is better than his pickup lines,”

“How did you stand there and not throw up, right there?” Yoongi asked Jennie.

“I let him have his fun. Made him think he did something,“ she shrugged.

Meanwhile, Jungkook’s jaw clenched and he crossed his arms. So what if he was more experienced than him? He wasn’t going to have Jennie, that’s for sure. Not on his watch. And why the hell did he have to kiss her hand like that? Now he wanted to punch him even more.

"Smartie, I hope you washed your hand after the show,” Yoongi advised.

“Yoongi, please,” she giggled.

"I'm serious. He looks dirty as shit,"

"I second that," Namjoon added.

Fans tweeted:

'Ew...’

'VIP here to support Jennie! Matt is embarrassing!'

'Matt really thought he did something’

'Oh he BOLD BOLD’

'I kind of ship it’

'If he don’t get tf away from my baby Jennie!’

'It was at this moment Jennie got the ick from Matt.'

'Jennie is out of his league~!’

'That pickup line was trash’

'CARAT here to support Miss Bangtan! I don't like how he is persistent in wanting to sleep with her. She is not interested. He gives me the ICK!'

As the talking spit segment came on, the boys laughed wholeheartedly when Emmanuel showed the photo of the members in their coconut haircuts. 

"The hairstyle is cringe," Taehyung laughed.

Bangtan's laughter got louder when DC Young Fly sang fire.

“That was smart of him to try to do that. I would have spat out my water,” Namjoon admitted.

Thinking on his feet, he thought of the other English that he heard from the song. "Everybody say LA-LA-LA-LA-LA! Say LA-LA-LA-LA-LA! I do-ont know the rest of thee-ee woor-oor-oor-ords!" he said on beat for Jimin's part.

Jimin threw his head back and laughed again. It was refreshing to hear him try to sing his part. It seemed like the Wild N Out cast did their research on BTS before Jen came on the show. 

Once they saw Matt walk up to the stage, the members groaned, dreading what he was going to do.

"Now this is a win/win situation for me. So, it's all up to you on how you want to do this, baby girl," Matt announced, making her confused.

"What the fuck did he just say?" Jungkook's ears twitched at the nickname as he stood up.

"K-Kookie, it's okay," Jennie tried to calm him down.

"No, the hell it's not!" Taehyung angrily said as Jungkook sat back down, trying to keep his emotions in check.

"He called her baby girl! Jungkookie calls her that!" Jimin pointed out.

“If you want me to kiss you, keep the water in your mouth,” Matt requested.

Jin spat out his water while Jimin began to cough on his popcorn. Namjoon and Taehyung started to pat on his back to help him out while the rest were in an uproar.

“Hell no!” Hobi fumed, his cheery voice turned stern. “He is being extremely inappropriate, right now. What the heck is wrong with him?”

“What the fuck?” Yoongi swore. “Don’t tell me he kissed you smartie.”

“What do you think, Jungkook?” Jin turned to look at him but was frightened by the view.

Fury was evident in Jungkook’s eyes as a stern stare rested on his features. It looked like he wanted to grab Matt through the TV and punch him. If he dared to touch her or try to put his crusty nonexistent lips on his girl, there was going to be a problem. Tenfold.

“Guys, I handled it. Relax, it’s okay. I know it’s frustrating to watch but I got him good at the end of the show. So, keep watching. That includes you, babe,” Jennie tried to calm down the members.

Matt kneeled in front of Jennie. "Make a move, quickly. You gonna accept my kiss or spit that water out?" he teased, raising an eyebrow.

“Absolutely not! He better not kiss our Jennie!” V shouted.

“The audacity!” Jin complained.

“Nini, he doesn’t kiss you, does he?” Namjoon questioned.

“What he needs to do is take several steps back. Ennie is happily with Jungkook,” Jimin added.

“Keep watching,” Jen said over the complaints.

As Matt inched closer to her face, puckering his lips, Jennie ended up slapping him in the face to block his advances. That caused Nick to spit out his water and laugh with the rest of the studio. 

Relieved, the members burst out in laughter at how smoothly she refused his advances and made fun of Matt for looking offended. 

"Damn, can you slap me again? That was hot. Playing hard to get, I see," Matt laughed and got back up on his feet, rubbing the side of his face. 

Jungkook rolled his neck and continued to watch the screen, unamused. 

"This idiot just won't learn..." Namjoon shook his head.

"Playing hard to get? What part of she isn't interested don't you understand!?" Jin shouted at the screen.

What made the boys even happier was that they heard her insult him in Korean and virtually high-fived and praised her for it.

Fans tweeted:

‘Yasssss! Rejected his clown ass’

‘Savage lmaoooo! Go Jennie!’

'The fact that he thought she was going to kiss him is beyond me’

'I hope he backs off now’

Jackson from GOT7 tweets, 'LOL nice slap Jennie. Good 4 u! @BTS_twt #WildNOut'

As the show went on, the boys were entertained by the Now You Wild Out game. They loved how Jennie looked like she was having a blast. No way would she be able to do anything like this in Seoul, so it was nice to see her do something where she had more freedom on TV. 

"Now you wild out," the audience said while both teams danced to the beat again. "Now you wild out!"

Matt looked directly at Jennie with a flirty smile. "You into white boys? You into white boys? You into white boys? Now you wild out!"

Shrugging, Jen waved him away. "I am but not you, I am but not you, I am but not you, now you wild out!"

The boys applauded her for that statement and even bounced in their seats to the beat.

"Give me a chance!" he replied while his team backed him up by looking like they were begging her to say yes. "...give me a chance, give me a chance, now you wild out!"

Dancing to the beat, she remained unbothered. "No way, no way, no way, now you wild out!"

"You know you want this," he flexed his arms. "...you know you want this, you know you want this, now you wild out!"

“Annoying...why is he so persistent? Like just go away and shut up,” Jimin whined and rolled his eyes.

“What a cornball...” Yoongi muttered and shook his head in disapproval. “We all see that smartie is not interested. He looks pitiful trying. He should have stopped, right there,”

“He is corny,” Hobi agreed.

“I have never seen anyone this lame,” Taehyung added.

“Jungkook has bigger muscles than him,” Jin pointed out.

“Yeah, she ogles over him tirelessly,” Jimin said in a fit of giggles.

“Hey! Hey! Don’t put me on blast!” Jen exclaimed.

“You didn’t deny it,” Jungkook teased her.

“Oh my God,” she chuckled and covered her face.

Looking around confused with her team, Jen stated, "Who lied!? Who lied!? Who lied!? Now you wild out!" she pointed at him.

"I still smashed," Matt shrugged and jumped to the beat, causing the Gold team to look at him in surprise and get hyped. "...I still smashed, I still smashed, now you wild out!"

"No, the hell he didn't smash," Jungkook growled, narrowing his eyes at the screen.

“I beg your pardon!?” Jin barked.

Jennie felt high tension rising from the members as she cringed. 

Taehyung’s smile dropped and he glared at the TV after Matt said that. No one ever disrespects his best friend like this. That wasn’t cool of him to say. She was worth more than a simple “smash”.

Namjoon laughed dryly, he turned his head to Hobi. “Diss track?”

“Diss track. Diss track?” Hobi nodded and turned to Yoongi.

“Diss track,” the Daegu rapper confirmed in a lethal voice.

Matt was in for it now.

Fans and supporters of Jennie weren’t too pleased with Matt’s comments and even began calling him out on it:

‘No frickin way did he just say that!’

‘That was so disrespectful!’

‘I don’t like that he said that to her’

‘As if Jennie would sleep with him of all people!’

Zico tweeted, 'This man screwed up now...don't ever disrespect Miss Bangtan. #WildNOut'

“Trust me, I’m not going to let a man like him get away with that statement,” Jen responded.

Thinking quickly on her feet, determined to not stutter, Jennie dropped it down low, balancing nicely as she moved her hips, knees, and ass up and down to the beat of the song, distracting him as both teams yelled. Laughter around the studio rose in volume when she spoke. "Was it in though? Was it in though? Was it in though? Now you wild out!"

The boys laughed at her response and cheered. Yoongi chuckled and nodded in approval, impressed by her comment.

"When did you learn how to do that!?" Jin exclaimed, shocked at the way she twerked.

"I can twerk better than you, Jennie," Jungkook called out, making her laugh.

"Not you thinking you can out twerk Miss Bangtan," she giggled.

Fans watching loved her response and it seemed like Miss Walker was now Jennie's new nickname, especially if she was looking sexy or feeling herself. 

"Okay, I grabbed the closest person to me which was Desiigner for this, part," Jen explained.

Almost fumbling with his words, Matt managed to say, "M-my dick can definitely hit it right! And my tongue is better, my tongue is better, my tongue is better, now you wild out!"

Putting him out of his misery, Jennie grabbed onto Desiigner, letting him wrap an arm around her while she rocked to the beat with him. With Jungkook on her mind, she replied, "I've had better head, I've had better head, I've had better head, now you wild out!" 

The boys laughed again and cheered for her for winning the point for her team. Jungkook chuckled as he understood her response, feeling good about himself.

For the last segment, they watched as Nick began to diss Jennie.

"Uh. Clap your hands, y'all. Clap your hands, y'all. Yo, Miss Jennifer Walker, you a real big talker. After you left Amity, we forgot who you are. But don't worry, I'm sure Angelina can still make you a star,"

“I don’t like that,” Jin frowned.

Nick continued. "You left one group so when you leavin' the other one? You tend to do that when you not having any fun."

Taehyung grimaced at that. He hit below the belt. He didn’t think he could be on a show like this. It seemed like the cast members would say just anything for shock value. He didn't understand it.

"Ah, I feel weird," Jimin said with a hint of sadness while the rest agreed.

“It was all in good fun. We don’t take it, literally. I’m okay, guys. Don’t worry,” Jen reassured them.

Speaking her mind, Jennie went off. "Coming for me you must have a death wish. Bangtan is charting, where you at on the charts, bitch?"

“Ohhhhhhhh~!” the boys shouted.

Yoongi smirked in amusement. “That’s my smartie.”

“My girlfriend is the best,” Jungkook said proudly.

"I left for better opportunities, ones that SongStress couldn't give me," she went on. "I auditioned for something I love and Big Hit chose me,"

The boys whooped and applauded, “Suga hyung taught her well!” Jimin giggled.

Becky Robinson stepped up to represent the Gold team. "Jennie, sweetheart, get over here. Let me talk to you," she gestured to her as Jennie went back in front of her team. "Little miss high and mighty, the one that likes Nike. You say you can rap but I doubt that's likely."

“Whoa! Where did she come from?” Jin exclaimed.

Jennie grabbed the mic and spoke, "Correction, it's Miss Bangtan and yeah I'm the girl that loves Nike. I'm rapping right now and the chance of you winning ain't likely,"

"BTS, BTS, go back to them weird Asian boys. How the heck you go from Amity to trashier noise?" she questioned.

“Weird?! How are we weird?” Jimin wailed as the boys booed at her response.

“We’re cooler than her, it doesn’t matter,” Hobi brushed her comment aside.

“Trash?” Namjoon looked the most offended out of the boys.

“I defended our honor. Keep watching,” Jen replied.

"Weird?! Weird Asian boys!? BITCH!" Tim called out, ready to get involved in the freestyle. "Jennie, you got this or do you want me to go?"

Jennie turned to Tim and smiled in reassurance, telling him she got this, and turned back to Becky. "Bitch, I'll go back to my amazing Asian boys after I win this belt. You got three seconds to get the hell out of my face before you get a welt. Trashier noise? Girl, be for real. Compared to you, our music brings more appeal. You wouldn't last a day in Bangtan's shoes, let's make that clear. Bangtan is selling out venues faster than your career."

The members cheered at that and praised her again. She did a great job making sure no one got away with talking bad about them.

"Matt, your game is tired like Advil PM. I know I am desired but do me a favor and stop sliding in my DMs," she announced.

Matt nodded and spoke up, "Okay, I slid in your DMs but stop with the front. Stop being in denial with this reject Matt publicity stunt. I guarantee that after the show you'll be calling my phone. I meant what I said on Let Me Holla, so let me make your mind blown,"

"The fact that this dumbass thinks that her rejecting him is a publicity stunt is beyond me," Hobi spoke up.

Jen rolled her eyes. "Face it, just face it. You brainless, you brainless. You said your tongue is better but I think that's outrageous,"

"Outrageous? You know you want a demonstration! After that, you'll be asking for a bae-cation," he smiled confidently.

"Cute. DJ D-Wrek, can you cut the beat, real quick?" she requested as a series of oohs were heard. 

Angelina placed a hand over her heart, in surprise. "Nani!?" she exclaimed.

The boys watched in anticipation of what Jennie was going to say. Yoongi sat up, watching intently at how she was going to handle it.

"Hm. Okay..." Jen prepared her thoughts and looked directly at him. "Matt, get it through your thick skull that I don't want you. I am not Zendaya from Disney, I can punch the shit out of you," 

“That’s how you do it,” Jin nodded in approval as he read the Korean subtitles on the screen.

When they watched her speak in Korean the boys told her how much they appreciated her shouting them out.

Switching back to her native tongue, she put him out of his misery once and for all. "You ain't the first, you ain't the last but just know you will not be the one to smash. You might as well give up just like the others. All hot and bothered cause you can't get me under the covers. You only think with your second head so think of a new plan. But let's face it, Jennie don't want you, one minute man,"

The boys were no more good as they were falling out of their seats from laughter. There was no coming back from that. She handled herself well and she won the belt. They couldn’t wait to see it when she brought it to Seoul.

Fans were shooked that Jennie ended him and tweeted their support for her:

‘For K-ARMY and whoever else is confused, Thread on what One Minute Man stands for’

‘She ended his career lmao’

‘And I thought the Zendaya situation was worse lol’

'OMFSHSHSHAH ONE MINUTE MAN’

'LETHAL! JUST LETHAL! Do not piss off Miss Bangtan'

'911? Hi I would like to report a murder’

After the show, fans continued to clown Matt for getting rejected and were still upset over how he acted around Jennie.

Scrolling on Twitter, Jungkook saw that Matt had tweeted about Jennie.

'I still have hope that one of these days she’ll come around. I’ll wait for your text, Jennie. @BTS_twt’

Suddenly Bangtan’s Twitter got a new tweet submitted:

’@Mattrife if she said no once, respect it and do not ask again. Jennie will not be ur girlfriend. Take hint.’

Not expecting Bangtan to reply, fans began to freak out.

‘Wait is this real? Did someone really tweet this?’

‘WHO in BTS said it!?

'Who tf said this!?’

'Was it suga!?’

'Namjoon!?’

'AHHHHHH'

'WAIT WHAT’

'Who said this!?’

'Jennie are you seeing this??’

'who in BTS I-’

'I bet it was yoongi’

'Protection squad! Attack!’

'Bangtan don't play when it comes to Jennie. I love how they ride for her! Protect her at all costs!'

'Whoever spoke up against him, thank you!'

Matt replied, 'Whoa whoa. I meant no harm. I apologized. She and I are cool! Relax.'

Then the member revealed himself, breaking the internet,

'Good #V’

“Was that wise?” Hobi laughed.

"One of us was bound to say something," Namjoon added. "I was going to tweet too but he beat me to it,"

"He spoke what was on my mind. I just wished I tweeted first," Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck.

His feelings for wanting to go public with Jennie increased tenfold. He wanted everyone to know already so men could back off.

“Sorry, I was just angry. I had to tweet something out.” Taehyung responded. “I spoke on behalf of all of us,”

“He got the hint. Thanks, guys,“ Jennie thanked them for being protective. 

Fans reacted to Taehyung’s tweet in a highly positive way and #Taennie began to trend worldwide.

'OMG V!? V!? V TWEETED’

'TAENNIE IS REAL’

'OHHH BOY’

'wtf does this meannnnnn!? #Taennie’

'OMFG’

As promised, the rap line made a diss track in response to Matt which broke the internet even more as ARMY streamed it on SoundCloud and YouTube, clowning him even more.

------

As September continued to go by, Big Hit started to release the WINGS videos. Jungkook was first and then Jimin the following day. As the days went by, V’s video was released next. Although people were excited about the comeback, concerns traveled through the K-Pop community because Jen was still nowhere to be found. Soon after, allegations that she was not going to be a part of WINGS made people worried.

Once BTS’ Japanese album, Youth, was released, they saw on Genius that Jennie was credited for the guitar on the Introduction: Youth song which made some calm down. And then she was involved in the Japanese version of the songs. But after videos for Suga and Rapmon dropped, all hell broke loose with rumors. And an article from ALLKPOP dropped.

BREAKING! Jennie to leave BTS?!

Headlines of her leaving, not being in the comeback, and taking a break were in various articles that alarmed Armies.

With Jennie, waking up from her phone buzzing, she scrolled through Twitter to see what the ruckus was about.

"Not again...they get on my damn nerves. Just because I’m not with them lately means I’m leaving? Do they make up everything to get a reaction out of people?” she complained and went through the comments.

‘NO! SHE CAN’T LEAVE!’

‘JENNIE IS IN BANGTAN FOR LIFE WTF’

‘How!’

‘What is going on!?’

‘ahgjsgskhkhgs nooooooooooo! Please don’t tell me she’s leaving!’

‘Stop!’

‘I don’t believe this! Trust Jennie!’

‘I just woke up what the actual fuck is this!?’

‘Queen isn’t leaving! Don’t believe it!’

‘What is this?? What did she do? Why?? how??’

‘Not on my watch!’

‘Who do I have to kill!?’

‘Stupid allkpop! She’s not leaving!’

‘Go to JYP then!’

‘YG says hi!’

‘Starship says hi!!’

‘WTF!? NO!’

Her Instagram received a burst of comments with crying emojis, begging her to stay and so on as she shook her head. It was crazy how easy allkpop could turn things into shit.

‘we miss you jennie!’

‘Miss you so much!’

‘Come back and update!’

‘Is it true you’re leaving? What happened’

‘Whatever is going on, we’ll support you. Stay strong’

‘We’re waiting for you!’

‘Please take care of yourself’

‘Are you OK??’

‘Please don’t leave bts’

‘Jen are you still with BTS!?’

‘WHERE IS YOUR WINGS VIDEO?’

‘Guys...I’m fucking scared...she’s not answering! She hasn’t updated in a long time.’

On top of that, antis got into it and began spreading rumors that Jen was giving Big Hit a hard time, the company was not happy with her, and that she had a big fight with Bangtan. All a bunch of bull.

After a phone call from Big Hit to tell her they were handling the situation and to remain silent, Jen went to the BTS group chat and sent a screenshot of the ridiculous article.

Jen: LOL WTF? Why does everybody think I’m leaving???

Jimin: KEKEKEKE not this again

Namjoon: They love doing this during comeback season

V: You don’t get a break do u Ennie?

Jen: lol nope. Anyway, everything is cleared for the Visa. About damn time. I'm performing with Shawn Mendes in a few days and then I will be on my way back to Seoul. I'll c u guys soon~

She was received with happy emojis and full capital lettered sentences. They were just as excited as her to return.

-----------

On September 10th, Jennie was filmed for a Bangtan Bomb, making her way to NYC to perform with Shawn Mendes in Madison Square Garden. Recently she recorded her version of I Know What You Did Last Summer with Shawn which would be released soon. She hoped fans loved it. 

"Oh man, oh man, I am losing my mind. I am actually going to be performing with Shawn Mendes! THE Shawn Mendes! Ahhh~ a dream come true! And at Madison Square Garden!? An honor!" she beamed at the camera.

Hours before the show, she arrived, got ready, and hung out with Shawn, expressing her excitement for the performance. The two vibed like usual and were filmed for her Bangtan Bomb. The dress rehearsal went well and she patiently waited backstage with nervousness as the concert started.

"I'm like...shaking," she giggled and jumped around a little to calm herself as she was filmed. "I haven't performed in so long. My visa is finally fine and I will be going back to Seoul after this. But my goodness, performing after not performing on stage for a while is making me nervous. I hope my voice sounds well and it doesn't crack,"

On Stage, Shawn had just finished performing Kid in Love, as the loud crowd cheered for him. He stood on stage by a stand and had his guitar in his hands.

"Thank you! We have a special guest, tonight. Someone I am truly excited to be performing with. She is absolutely amazing at what she does and I'm happy I was able to get her to come here tonight. Give it up for Jennie of BTS!" Shawn proudly announced.

As soon as she walked out with a bright smile and a microphone in her hands, the crowd went crazy and cheered loudly for her. ARMY who were also Shawn Mendes fans attending the concert began freaking out and fan chanting BTS which caused Jennie to shout them out by pointing at them.

Fans tweet:

'Y'ALL I JUST LOST MY VOICE! Jennie is on stage with Shawn Mendes! There are a lot of ARMY in the crowd too freaking out!'

'I am at Shawn Mendes' concert and guess who came out to sing with him!? Jennie! Ahhhh I am so happy for her!'

'The girl with the guitar is here! She's here!'

'Guys Shawn said Jennie of BTS to announce her! So that is a GOOD sign that she is still in BTS! Trust Jennie!'

"Hi, Madison Square Garden! How we feelin'?!" Jennie beamed and got cheers in response. "Thank you! Wow, I am so excited to be here! It's an honor to be standing on stage with an artist I have admired for a long time, now. Shawn, thank you so much for inviting me here,"

"Thank you for being here with me," he smiled. "Jennie and I have been talking ever since we met at the Billboard Awards. And we thought this song would be perfect to sing together on tour. I hope you enjoy it!"

As soon as he started strumming the first notes of I Know What You Did Last Summer, the audience screamed as she began singing and moving to the music.

Ah-ah, hey-hey

Ah-ah, ah-ah

Ah-ah, hey-hey

Ah-ah, ah-ah

"He knows," she began to sing to loud cheers as reality hit her that was finally performing with Shawn. A big smile came across her face as she continued, "Dirty secrets that I keep. Does he know it's killing me? He knows, he knows. D-d-does he know. Another's hands have touched my skin? I won't tell him where I've been. He knows, he knows, he knows," 

It's tearing me apart

She's slipping away (I'm slipping away)

As soon as the crowd heard them sing together, they continued to freak out at how nice it sounded, loving their chemistry. Their voices blended so well and she made the song her own as she chose not to replicate Camila's version.

I know what you did last summer (ah-ah)

Just lied to me, "There's no other" (hey-hey)

I know what you did last summer

Tell me where you've been

She started dancing and swaying on stage, having fun as he would occasionally look over at her and smile. There were a bunch of times they'd meet each others' gaze and smile as they performed, moving together to the music.

Can't seem to let you go

Can't seem to keep you close

"Hold me close," she sang as they were at the bridge.

The audience was impressed by how she'd crescendo the lyrics as they sang together. And fell in love with her amazing run as she did the high note.

After they finished the song by singing "I know," together, loud screams and cheers were heard.

"Woo!" Shawn grinned as he went on to embrace her as she giggled, proud of their performance.

She did it. She sang and performed with Shawn Mendes. And this would not be the last time.

"You did amazing! Thank you for being here!" he said in her ear and pulled away.

"Thank you for having me! This was so fun!" she grinned.

"Give it up for Jennie of BTS!" Shawn cheered as she got a loud and warm reception from the audience.

"Thank you, New York!" she bowed and waved.

After performing, she stayed to watch the rest of the show, vibing to his performances. After the show, they took photos together and he posted them on Twitter and Instagram.

'A dream come true to be able to perform with you! Thank you for coming, Jennie! I Know What You Did Last Summer featuring Jennie of BTS will be out September 16th!'

Camila Cabello tweeted, 'Jennie~! You did amazing! So happy for you and Shawn for performing!'

Fans tweet:

'I loveee her energy! She is so cute!'

'JENNIE AND SHAWN~!! I AM NOT OKAY EMOTIONALLY!'

'We finally getting a collab! ARMY we gotta stream!'

'They looked like they had a lot of fun out there! I love how they looked at each other!'

'THEY KILLED THAT SHIT!'

'They may not be dating but their chemistry is off the charts! I love how they looked at each other while performing'

'Their voices fit SO well together omfg! Jennie is so good at harmonizing with people!'

'They need to record more songs together!'

'They sound just like the studio version! No autotune or anything needed! Just vibes! I love it!'

--------

When Jennie arrived at Incheon International Airport, news spread quickly about her arrival as fansites and Dispatch were crowded around, waiting for her return. Diana walked with Jennie who still had her wig on with a black beanie. Along with a small bookbag against her back, Jennie had the Wild N Out title over her shoulder.

As soon as fans caught sight of her, screams and cheers surrounded the airport as she smiled at the warm welcome. She waved and then raised the belt high in the air in victory.

"Your champion~!" Jen said proudly.

"You are so extra," Diana chuckled at her goofy antics.

Fans tweet:

‘GUYS!! Jennie is back in Korea! #ShesBack’

'The Visa issue has been settled!'

‘omgomgomg sksksksksjsfhs QUEEN IS BACK!! #ShesBack’

‘Queen looks so happy! Look at that smile!’

‘Lmaooooo MOOD!’

‘Raise that title high and proud!’

'I would raise that title too after embarrassing Matt Rife on TV lmfao'

Arriving at the dorm, she was excited to see the boys as they swarmed her into a big group hug. The hug got so intense that they all fell on the floor. Extra. All of them were. A warm welcome she expected nothing less from the boys. It made coming back to Seoul better. When she was finally back on her feet, Hobi pushed through and showered her with multiple kisses on her cheek.

“We missed you so much!” he yelled excitedly.

Jungkook watched as his hyungs kept trying to hog her and whined, “Can I finally hug her now?”

He tried to play it cool but deep down he wanted to bounce around the walls that Jennie was finally back in Seoul. Back home with BTS. Back home with him.

Yoongi chuckled. “Let’s let the kids have their moment,”

“Do you guys have to stare at us?” Jungkook began to blush, feeling shy as the boys started teasing them.

“I want to see a kiss!” Jimin demanded.

Rolling his eyes, Jungkook gently grabbed Jen’s hand and started walking in the direction of her bedroom.

“Hey! Don’t take her away!” Jin complained.

Ignoring him, Jungkook went into her room with her. After almost closing the door, leaving it cracked, he sighed out of relief and pulled her in for a tight embrace. His arms were wrapped securely around her waist as she rested her head against his chest.

“I’ve missed you so much.” He said. “Welcome back.”

“I missed you too,”

“Are you tired?” he cupped her face. 

Feeling her nod as the jetlag was getting to her, he picked her up bridal style. Walking over to the bed, he laid her down gently under the covers and got in the covers, beside her.

“Sorry...I wanted to try to stay awake,” she murmured sleepily.

“Rest. We’ll catch up when you’re awake,” he said softly and kissed the side of her head. 

He held her close to his chest and occasionally watched her sleep with a smile. Feeling movement on the bed, he turned his head to see Tony.

“Guess whose home, Tony?” he said softly as the dog looked excited.

Being well mannered, he did not bark to wake her up and chose to lay next to his parents.

A few hours later, Jennie began to stir in her sleep and opened her eyes to find herself in Jungkook's arms along with Tony resting next to them. She smiled at their sleeping forms and then moved closer to Jungkook’s face to kiss his nose. She giggled softly at the way he scrunched up his nose. It was cute. Soon his eyes were open.

“Hey, you,” she greeted softly.

“Hey, you,”

Leaning forward, she kissed him gently which turned into multiple short kisses against his soft lips. She used a hand to cup his face while hovering over him, to deepen the kiss as they made up for the lack of kisses over the several weeks away.

Suddenly Tony barked and jumped over them.

“Aw Tony,” Jungkook groaned, making Jennie laugh and get off him.

“Tony~! I’m home!” she grinned.

The couple watched as Tony waggled his tail happily. Jumping all over Jennie he licked her all over her face, happy that she was back in Seoul.

After playing with Tony, and cleaning her face, Jennie rested in bed with Jungkook. He listened to her talk about what was going on at home and how fun it was performing with Shawn. However, once he ran a hand over her hair, he noticed something...off.

“Something is wrong,” he murmured.

“What are you talking about?” she furrowed her eyebrows as they sat up in bed.

“It feels weird. Your hair feels weird,”

“What are you talking about it feels weird?”

“Your hair is not like this. Are you wearing a wig?”

How the heck did he know this quickly? Out of all the members too.

“No,” she firmly answered.

Jungkook stared at her suspiciously and raised an eyebrow.

“Kookie, stop looking at me like that. I’m not wearing a wig. The heck are you talking about?”

“This is a lace front,” he confirmed, staring at the top of her head. The beanie she had on was taken off before she slept.

“What you know about a lace front? There is no lace. This is all natural,”

“You taught me about wigs, remember? It looks exactly how you described it,”

“Did not,”

“Did too,“

"Did not,”

“Did too. 2014. American Hustle Life. When my team tried to pick up girls for the music video and saw some with wigs. I asked you,”

‘This man...’ she thought as he continued to pester her about it.

Perhaps she shouldn’t have educated him on that if her secret was going to backfire.

“Let me see,” he went on.

“See what?”

“Come on, I won’t tell, anyone. Please?”

“There is nothing to see,”

“I bet your hair has a new hair color under there. That’s the only reason why you’d wear a wig,”

“Um, no,”

“Um, yes,”

“Um, no,”

“Um yes. Come on! Show me!”

“There is nothing to see!”

“Baby~!” he whined.

“Oh my God...”

“Show meeeeeeee~!”

“What part of there is nothing to see don’t you understand? Damn!”

“If you don’t show me, I will tickle you,” he threatened in a playful tone, which alarmed her slightly.

“Jungkook! There is nothing to see!”

“Strike one.”

“Oh my gosh, you are doing the absolute most, right now!”

“Are you going to show me?”

“There is nothing to show!”

"Strike two.”

“Strike two-babe I have nothing to show you! Why don’t you believe me!?”

“Last warning.”

“Don’t do it. This is my real hair! I tried a new hair product but it just made it feel a little weird. I don’t think I’ll be using the product, again. Can you stop giving me that look? Stop staring at me like that. I’m serious, it’s just the new hair stuff.” she moved across the bed to try to get away from him.

“Okay,” Jungkook lunged at her, making her shriek. He then began to tickle her sides as she laughed out loud, squirming under him. “You gonna show me, now?”

“S-STOP-HAHAHA,”

She managed to push him off and she rolled out of the bed, landing on the floor. Jungkook rolled off the bed too and crawled after her, attempting to grab her leg to pull her back. Evading his attempt, she flipped away and stood up.

Grabbing the nearest stuffed animal, she threw it at him and he caught it with ease. Standing up, Jungkook tossed the stuffed animal aside and began walking towards her. Jen started backing up while throwing various stuffed animals at him while he remained unphased and let them hit his chest like it was nothing.

“Kook, I am warning you, right now,” she laughed, slapping his hands that were trying to grab her.

Deciding to use her charm, she pulled him in for a smooch to distract him. Once he kissed her back, her hands roamed down to the bottom of his shirt. She then lifted her knee against his stomach, making him lean forward which led her to pull his shirt over his head. Once she saw he was stuck, she ran away.

“See ya!” she yelled out with giggles.

“No fair!” he shouted, struggling to get out of the shirt.

Once he did, he tossed the shirt on her bed and remained in his basketball shorts. Jungkook walked out of the room and scanned the hallway. She was hiding somewhere.

“Jagi, where’d you go?” he called out.

He checked the closets, the other bedrooms, the tables, and the couch. But she was nowhere to be found.

“I guess I’ll eat some of these smarties!” he shouted out, anticipating her to freak out.

But nothing.

Hearing footsteps, he turned his head to see her running back to her room. High on her tail, he caught the door before she slammed it shut. The female member laughed as he walked into her room and shut the door behind him.

“Gotcha,” he grinned victoriously.

“Not quite,” she answered, evading his attempt to grab her again.

This time, she decided to use some of her self defense moves and tripped him down on the carpet for a smooth takedown. Falling on top of him, she straddled him and pinned him down.

“Gotcha,” she mocked him.

Jungkook became Jungshooked at how easily she pinned him down and deep down he enjoyed the position of her on top of him. Lowkey, it was a position he hoped to see more intimately, one day.

"This is a nice view," he grinned, glancing at the position they were in.

"S-shut up!" her face felt flushed.

For revenge for tickling her earlier, she decided to tickle him as the two went on a laughing fit, rolling around on the floor in a tickle fight. After they were done, they sat on the floor and she decided to show him her hair as long as he would treat her to the noodles she liked.

"You serious?” he grinned. “That is all I have to do?”

“Yeah. Just...close your eyes first, okay?” she requested.

He closed his eyes. “What color?"

“You’ll see in a bit,”

Carefully removing the secured wig and wig cap, she unbraided her red hair. She looked at Jungkook who waited patiently with a smile.

Was he going to like her hair like this?

“O-okay. Open,”

Slowly opening up his eyes, he stared at her hair in admiration.

“Is it bad?” she looked concerned at how he sat there unable to say anything. 

His doe eyes were enlarged and his lips parted slightly.

“No! No way! It looks amazing! Red!? It suits you, well! Wow...you’re so beautiful,” he smiled, placing a hand against her cheek.

“Thanks, Kookie.”

“Am I the only one who knows?”

“And Diana, Angelina and my family. The rest of the guys don’t know, yet. I’m going to wear my wig until Big Hit drops my video so they can all be shooked,”

“I can't wait to see their reactions,”

-------

After J-Hope and Jin had their videos released, the members celebrated Namjoon’s birthday. Jennie with Jimin’s assistance made him a Ryan themed cake.

When they presented it to him, Namjoon looked like a kid on Christmas and began happily jumping up and down. He then let out a loud scream of excitement, which had Jennie dying of laughter with the rest of the boys.

For a prank, she and Hobi thought it would be a good idea to show an old video for his birthday. Getting the rest of the members into it, they began to film Namjoon about to walk into a room.

“Hey, wait a moment. Wait,” Hobi said with Namjoon who had a blindfold on.

“I can’t believe you baked him a Ryan cake,” Suga chuckled. “It’s cute,”

“I tried my best. It looks pretty good so I can’t wait to eat a slice,” Jen said.

“Everything you bake is good so I have no doubt, smartie,”

“Oh you,” she smiled. “Jimin helped me. He deserves credit, too. You did a wonderful job helping me, Chim,”

“Thanks, Ennie! It was fun baking. I hope you like it hyung,” Jimin said.

“Namjoon, expect something good,” Hobi announced.

“What? What is it?” Namjoon asked.

“Expect something good. We prepared it for you,” Jin added.

“Let’s open the door,” V said.

“Just what on earth are you guys doing?” Namjoon questioned.

“We’re going in, we’re going in,” Hobi announced as they all walked into the room to reveal Tears of School playing on the TV. A song performed by Jin, Suga, and Namjoon before debut.

“Hey, where are we going?” Namjoon asked. Once he was told to take off his made, he almost cussed. "Oh man sh-"

The leader immediately covered his face in embarrassment while everyone laughed around him.

“Just for you,” Suga said.

“We did this along with the video,” Hobi revealed.

“Hey! Wait a second! AHHHHH!” Namjoon yelled, covering his face again.

Jennie and Hobi high fived each other. Mission accomplished.

After celebrating Rapmon’s birthday, JenKook spent the rest of the day playing video games in her room. Soon after, they went to watch some Family Guy episodes, with Korean subtitles for Jungkook, while sitting up against her bed. 

While Jen was immersed in the show, Jungkook began to think about the conversation he had with Rapmon. When he told him about wanting to take the next step with Jennie. Jungkook thought of bringing it up now but he wondered how he should say it.

“You all right?” Jen asked, noticing his deep in thought facial expression.

“Just a lot on my mind, that’s all,”

“What’s up?”

He let out a sigh and turned to her. “I...I want to talk to you about something,”

“What is it?”

“I’ve been...I’ve been thinking...about you, lately,”

She smiled at his words. “I’ve been thinking about you, too,”

“Like...more than usual,”

“So have I,” she chuckled, wondering what he was getting at.

She hadn’t seen him in several weeks, of course, he was on her mind.

“I get that but the way that I have been thinking about you...I dunno if it’s how you’re thinking about me,” he responded with a serious expression.

His intense look made her face warm up as she managed to hold his gaze.

“How have you been thinking about me?”

“You and I together. On the bed. Doing a lot more than just cuddling.”

Jennie felt a strong sensation between her legs and squirmed slightly as she thought about having her first time with him. Something she had thought of as well.

“I want us to take our relationship to the next level. Only if you’re ready,” he went on. “I want to show you how much I love you and make you feel good. I’ve been thinking about making you feel good for a while now. You just...drive me a little crazy sometimes,”

‘You drive me a little crazy too,’ she thought as her face felt flushed. She wanted to say it out loud but she didn’t trust her voice at the moment.

“I want you to tell me when you’re ready. Take all the time you need. I want you to say it out loud that you’re ready for the next step. I’ll wait. As long as I have to. Don’t feel like you need to give me an answer now, Jagi. I just wanted to be honest about how I’ve been feeling about you, lately. I hope I...didn’t make you uncomfortable,” he rubbed the back of his neck, cheeks getting pink.

“No,” she said and shook her head. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable,”

“That’s a relief to hear,”

“I’m glad we’re talking about this. I want to be honest, too,”

He nodded, awaiting what she had to say. It felt good to be open about this topic.

“Occasionally I’d think about it, too. Like what if we were to have sex?" she said. "I think my biggest worry is if I’ll be able to satisfy you, well. I don’t want to do a bad job or something. I know what to do and all. It’s just...I don’t want you to be anticipating it and when it happens it’s disappointing,”

That surprised him. He didn’t think she would worry about something so silly like that. Did she not know the effect she had on him mentally and physically? She didn’t have to worry about a thing when it comes to satisfying him.

“You won’t,” he guaranteed.

“How can you be so sure?”

“I feel like making love to the person you love is one of the greatest things ever. No matter what we do, it’s going to feel right. Especially when we’re so comfortable around each other. You don’t need to worry about anything. I’m pretty eager to learn more about you in that way. When you’re ready for me,”

She chuckled lightly and nodded, feeling at ease from his words.

“Sometimes I get worried, too,” he admitted. “Will I be able to get you there and make sure to perform well for you? It’s my first time too so I want to do the best I can. And make sure you’re not in any pain,”

“You will. Because I love you,”

He smiled. “I love you, too. We’ll take it slow,”

“Yeah. Let’s take our time. I know when it’s with you I shouldn’t have to worry about a thing. I know you will make me feel amazing and we’ll learn together about ourselves in an intimate way. When I’m ready, I will let you know. Verbally. I’ll say it with confidence,”

He smirked softly and nodded. “Okay, baby girl.”

After kissing her forehead, he left the room to take a shower. Jennie exhaled and laid on her back across the bed.

“Losing our virginities to each other. He wants to make love to me,” she smiled softly, thinking about their conversation as she looked up at the ceiling.

She wondered when she would be ready to give herself to him.

-------

The following day, Big Hit finally released her WINGS 8 video. Along with that, Jennie returned to social media after being given the OK by Big Hit. She posted a photo of herself looking into the mirror with her two personas.

The caption she wrote for her photo was, ‘Did I do the right thing? #Wings #DidYouMissMe’

Twitter blew up when everything dropped. From her hair to her being a part of the comeback, it was an exciting day for ARMY.

Fans Tweet:

‘Big Hittttttt! We have been waiting for this woman!’

‘Bighit has answered our prayers!’

‘FUCK!’

‘AHHHHHHHHH’

‘HOLY SHIT AGSHFHS’

‘Did she do the right thing!? I AM DEAD! She’s still here! I’m so happy!’

‘It’s happening! It’s happening! Everyone stay calm!’

‘THIS IS NOT A DRILL! Jennie’s hair is RED! I REPEAT! Jennie’s hair is RED!’

‘Your hair!!! Omg’

‘She finally dyed her hair!’

‘JENNIE!!! OH MY GOD!’

‘BIGHIT WHY YOU DO DIS TO MEHHHH’

‘It has been 84 years! She finally dyed her hair!’

‘If Jennie dyed her hair, you know this comeback is about to be LIT!’

‘GUYS...SHE DYED HER HAIR! SOMETHING BIG IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN!’

‘Big Hit you waited until the wings era to dye her hair!?’

'SHES COMING!'

‘I need to know if she killed her ex in that video! So many questions left unanswered!’

'Who found Jennie at the airport!? Who!? Was it the police!? Was it her ex!? Is he still alive!? I am losing it here!'

‘Where are the people making theories? I need to know everything about Jennie’s video!’

Even her idol friends freaked out over her concept video and photos and cheered for her on social media, which made her heart soar.

While Jennie chilled in the smartie factory, taking a break from writing lyrics, she heard loud yelling from the guys and it seemed to get closer to her studio.

She picked up bits and pieces like "hair”, “red” and a series of “ohmyGods” as she laughed.

It looked like the boys watched her video. As if on cue, Jin, Jimin, Hobi, and V barged in and swarmed her with questions. And once they saw that she was no longer in her wig but with her natural hair in red, they yelled with joy.

“So, it is real!? You dyed your hair for the comeback!?” Jimin asked excitedly.

“Uh huh! You like it?” she beamed as V continued to look speechless. “Uh...V? You okay?”

“It looks so cool! Can I touch it?” he asked.

“Aye, aye, don’t touch it,” she leaned back to avoid his eager hands.

He giggled. “Sorry. I just love it so much. And guess what? No more memes about your hair being dyed,”

She chuckled at the thought. He was correct. As many times as the fanbase clowned her for not changing her hair color. 

Jin was bewildered that her hair was now a different color. He and the rest have gotten so used to her natural color that they thought she would never change it. He stared, admiring the color.

“When did you do this?” he asked.

“Before I came back to Seoul. Even before the Wild N Out taping. I’ve been wearing a wig this whole time,” she grinned.

“Wow~! I did not notice at all. The wig looked so real,” Hobi replied.

On Twitter, some of the members tweeted about her first new hair color,

'ARMY Jennie finally dyed her hair! RED! REEEEEEEEEEEEED #V’

'Does this mean you will be Lita when we wrestle again? You’re still going to lose sweetheart #Jin’

'Red suits you smartie. #Yoongi’

'My eyes aren’t deceiving me, are they? Beautiful hair #RM’

Even Shawn Mendes had to tweet about it. 'Wow! Red hair! I am ready! #Wings’

Jennie smiled at the positive reactions and tweeted, 'LOL. I’m glad you guys like the new hair color. Long overdue, huh? #Jen’

[irish-urn]

For the ask game:

001 - Dasey

002 - Derek and Casey

Dasey:

when I started shipping it if I did: Oh, boy. That's a question, now isn't it? I low-key shipped them when I first found Dasey fanfiction waaaaaaay back in my undergrad (so, like 10-12 years ago?). But it was super low-key. I got BACK into Dasey majorly in the spring of 2021 and stumbled upon fanvids and fanfiction of them AGAIN and because I was laid up health-wise, I got obsessed.

my thoughts: I have a LOT of thoughts about Dasey???? I think they're fascinating characters and I adore them both as individuals and as a couple. I think their physical comedy (and by that I mean they're complete lack of personal space) is hilarious; and I think they have insane chemistry. I think Derek knows Casey better than anyone, and Casey gets Derek better than anyone; and I think they're both stupid and stubborn enough to never acknowledge that. I think they're far more alike than they are different, and I think I need to continue my rewatch of the show because I'm gonna end up writing an essay about them.

What makes me happy about them: I think it's how good of a team they can be. I've always been a BIG friends-to-lovers shipper, but even more than that, a "we're partners and i've got your back" shipper. And even though Derek and Casey TRY to pretend to they hate each other, we have sooooo much evidence of them being protective of the other, of them going out of their way to help the other (usually complaining the whole time, but c'mon), and of them kicking serious butt when they do work together. It just makes something inside me purr.

What makes me sad about them: THEY'RE KIDS IN AN AWFUL SITUATION and they don't FEEL like family, but everything in their lives are telling them they're supposed to be; but they CAN'T be, and if they TRY to be together, they might hurt their FAMILIES who they LOVE so MUCH; and I think you catch my drift.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: ...I really hate OOC-ness, but the MOST OOC-ness I hate is when people make Derek to be, like, abusive? Or completely inconsiderate of Casey's boundaries, and you get into non-con. I just... Nope.

things I look for in fanfic: EXCELLENT CHARACTERIZATION. Good bantering, that push-and-pull that they both have... I also think they have at least mildly kinky sex, and I support this.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Well, all of Casey's boyfriends SUCK except for Sam who is an excellent person but not good for her. And I'm pretty sure her husband in LWL isn't doing a good job either. So they'd have to create a WHOLE NEW CHARACTER for her--

I don't mind Derek/Sally, except I think they'd have to work things out as adults better. I dunno; the show purposely shows us that Derek and Casey are far more important to each other than any of their significant others (that's been stated by the creators, btw), so yeah. No one.

My happily ever after for them: THEY GET TOGETHER AND THE FAMILY ACCEPTS THEM AND THEY STAY TOGETHER FOR, LIKE, 60+ YEARS AND BICKER AND BANTER AND LOVE EACH OTHER THE WHOLE TIME and whether or not they have kids depends completely on their choices and Derek calms Casey's panic attacks, and Casey reminds Derek of his worth, and I cry.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: THEY. SWITCH. I think most of the time Derek is the big spoon because he's kinda sexist, no lie, but I think when he's having a bad day, he likes getting spooned. Casey likes being held, but she also likes holding him. So, uh... 80% of the time Derek is the big spoon.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Honestly, I think it's arguing. But in, like, a fun way? With bets and competition and teasing and flirting; I strongly believe that they would just have a lot of small arguments and that would keep the big fights small too. And Casey likes debating and Derek likes challenges.

Derek:

How I feel about this character: MY BLORBO???? I LOVE HIM??? HE'S SUCH A LITTLE SHIT; I ADORE HIM???

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Well. Casey, obviously. And to a certain extent, Sally.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: ...Derek&Lizzie. I know, I KNOW that Derek & Marti are like, gold, but I think his interactions with Lizzie are superb.

My unpopular opinion about this character: ...do I have one? I dunno. I have a lot of opinions about his relationship with his parents, but I wouldn't call them unpopular, more... me looking at things differently than some others do.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wish, in LWL, people (Genora) recognized how much he had grown. Just because a person likes to have fun and tease and passes off some of his responsibilities to people he knows will do them (see: Skyler and Casey, but they also ENJOY doing these tasks most of the time), doesn't make him immature. He was SUCH a good dad and was taking steps to improve Skyler's life, and maybe their lives weren't traditional, but she was healthy and loved and appreciated and he had raised her as best he could; and honestly, his relationship with Skyler was much better than his with George, I'm just saying. Derek is clever with a large heart, and I wish people in the show saw that more.

my OTP: ...Dasey.

my cross over ship: I don't like crossovers? *shrugs*

a headcanon fact: Derek is a dork. He's a big ol' dork. I HC that he knows an awful lot about very certain things because he gets hyperfixated -- reword: Derek has undiagnosed ADHD. There. That's my fact.

[heyiwrotesomethings]

Hi!!!

Could maybe write a Mary from Kakegurui fic where Mary doesn't like reader at all and then the reader starts dating Yumeko and all. After some time they broke up and Mary starts being protective of the reader during games and just in general. A confession at the end and maybe so kiss. It's okay if you don't want to write it.

She/her pronouns.

A Revelation

Mary Saotome x She/Her Reader (Yumeko Jabami x Reader at first, but Mary is endgame)

A/N: Heyyo, thanks for the request. Hope you like the result! Word Count: 2,946

Mary did not like (Y/n). Not that it was an achievement or anything, there were a lot of people that Mary didn’t like. Most of whom, came from her own class. Mary would not soon forget the treatment she had received upon first transferring to Hyakkaou last year.

(Y/n) may not have been one of the students to actively help Kokoro cheat her, but she hadn’t helped Mary either so of course the following year when Yumeko first invited (Y/n) into their little group for the debt swapping game, Mary made sure to let her displeasure be known. She didn’t trust (Y/n) as far as she could throw her, or Yumeko either for that matter. However, she didn’t really have much of a choice in the matter. All she really wanted, what she needed, was to get rid of the debt Yumeko and Yuriko put her in.

Fortunately, their plan worked flawlessly and Jun was the one left with millions in debt. Mary thought that would be the end of it, but no. Somehow gambling with Yumeko once made them all the best of friends. Over time, Mary could admit Yumeko had grown on her, like a cancer, sure, but she grew on her nevertheless.

(Y/n) only seemed to make Mary more exasperated the more she got to know her. She was an awful gambler, she couldn’t even predict the simplest probabilities or see through the most half-baked schemes of her competitors. Yumeko loved the thrill, but it only served to stress Mary out. (Y/n) was naïve, resigned to her station on the lower end of the school hierarchy just a few steps above a house pet. Mary wondered how she even managed to survive as long as she did without Yumeko and herself to drag her around like Ryota.

It was probably because she was so trusting. No matter the ridiculous idea Yumeko came up with, no matter what Mary told her to do, (Y/n) trusted their judgement even if at the time it looked like they were trying to throw her under the bus. That trust was probably the only thing Mary would begrudgingly admit she liked about her classmate. It reminded her of Tsuzura.

Mary rolled her eyes when she walked into the classroom that morning. Yumeko had pressed her desk against (Y/n)’s so she could cling to her. Not unusual Yumeko behavior, but it seemed excessive even for her.

“What are you idiots up to?” Mary grumbled.

“Mary! I asked (Y/n) if she would be my girlfriend and she agreed. Isn’t it wonderful?” Yumeko gushed, hugging (Y/n) tighter.

(Y/n) met Mary’s unimpressed stare and though she was already flustered from the attention Yumeko was giving her, she shied away, flicking her eyes to look anywhere else.

“Figures.” Mary scoffed as if she saw this coming from miles away. She didn’t really, but sure acted as if she did. “Just don’t let this get in the way of our gambles, got it?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it!” Yumeko beamed, rocking (Y/n) in her chair.

Mary didn’t think they could get any more annoying before they started dating, but once Yumeko and (Y/n) had gotten together, Mary could hardly stand them. Sometimes she swears she’d rather play Russian roulette in Midari’s murder basement than be stuck listening to Yumeko sweet talk (Y/n) all day.

And then there was all of the touching.

Yumeko couldn’t seem to keep her hands to herself. If Mary didn’t know better, she’d say her hands were permanently superglued to (Y/n)’s body. Mary had wished on more than one occasion that she could chainsaw Yumeko’s arms off. But perhaps what made her angrier than the touching, was how affected she was by it all. She shouldn’t give a damn what those two did, but seeing them together all the time pissed her off on a more personal level for some reason. Whatever reason that was, she refused to delve into it. She would scowl and bear it, but if she had accidentally walked in on them kissing one more time, she would rip their lips off with her bare hands.

Surprisingly, Mary didn’t have to put up with their relationship for terribly long. After two months, she walked into the classroom to find Yumeko sitting at her desk alone.

“Where is (Y/n)? I almost forgot that you weren’t literally joined at the hip.“

Yumeko sighed, resting her head on her knuckles she smiled sadly.

“I broke up with (Y/n) last night.” She informed.

“Huh?” Mary almost thought she didn’t heard her correctly.

First, there was no way they had broken up. They were so sweet, they made Mary feel the need to reschedule her dentist appointment to an earlier date. Second, when she accepted that yes indeed they had broken up, she couldn’t believe that it was Yumeko, touchy, clingy Yumeko, who initiated the break up.

Mary thought that if they ever broke up, it would be because (Y/n) finally got tired of Yumeko’s suffocating affection.

“Mhm, I realized that after we partook in a gamble last night, that our reasons for gambling are really quite different,” Yumeko explained, “while I gamble because I love gambling, (Y/n) gambles to help those see feels close to. So I realized, it just wasn’t fair to keep her tethered to me, because she only wants to gamble for my sake, not because she genuinely enjoys the thrill.”

“That sounds stupid.” Mary deadpanned. “But whatever, I’m glad I don’t have to watch you two be gross anymore.”

“Mary, that’s so mean!” Yumeko pouted.

Mary rolled her eyes, unmoved, and hung her bag on her desk hook.

“So is (Y/n) sulking at home or is she going to show up, because we were issued a gambling challenge yesterday that we need taken care of today.”

“I did see her this morning by the fountain, but she wasn’t feeling very talkative.”

“I wonder why.” Mary said dryly.

“We agreed to still be friends, but I guess she just needs a little time to herself before things go back to normal. She might skip class this morning. Hm? Mary, where are you going?”

“None of your business. Why don’t you go bother Ryota.”

“Huh?” Ryota turned in his chair, clueless as ever.

Mary walked out of the classroom, not sparing either of them another glance. She wasn’t sure why, but she suddenly felt the need for some fresh air and the fountain just happened to be the best place for that.

There she found (Y/n), sitting on the fountain’s edge with her knees brought up to her chest. Her cheek rested atop her knees as she watched the granite sculpture expel water endlessly.

“Hey.” Mary spoke gruffly, awkwardly.

(Y/n) rose her head, slowly turning towards Mary. She gave her a twitch of a smile, “Hey.”

“God, you look awful. Suck it up,” Mary sat down on the fountain’s edge near (Y/n), “You should be happy. You dodged a bullet. Two months delayed, but you dodged it.”

“Does it really count as dodging when I had to be pushed away?” (Y/n) mumbled.

She didn’t have it in her to get angry at Mary. She could tell that she was trying to cheer her up in that unique and not always helpful Mary sort of way—

“Ow!”

Mary reached out to pinch (Y/n)’s cheeks, a scowl on her face, “Just because you’re sad, it doesn’t mean you can talk back to me! Got it?”

“Got it!” (Y/n) rubbed her tender cheeks once Mary let go.

“We still have that gamble after school, are you gonna have your head in the game, or do we have to try to get out of it?” Mary asked.

“I can handle it.”

“Can you really?” Mary leaned in, scrutinizing (Y/n)’s expression.

“Really!”

“Good,” Mary stood up and brushed off the back of her skirt, “now, if we’re skipping class, we might as well do something worthwhile. I’m getting breakfast. Let’s go.”

“Okay.” (Y/n) smiled a bit more noticeably as she matched Mary’s pace and left the school campus together.

***

Mary only grew more considerate and protective after the breakup, which surprised (Y/n). She knew that Mary was actually quite the softy at heart, but she never had expected to be on the receiving end of Mary’s kindness. It was not something the girl gave out freely.

When Mary had taken her out to breakfast after Yumeko had broken up with her, (Y/n) thought that would be the extent of it. A very kind, one time gesture from a good friend because Mary wasn’t a coddler. (Y/n) was sure Mary had done it as a one time favor, to try to cheer (Y/n) up before their gamble later that afternoon, but Mary continued to check in on her.

When she was in a tough spot while gambling, Mary was always there to help her and if she wasn’t, she’d rush in as soon as she found out. When (Y/n) would mention how rough the school work had been lately, Mary would pull out her notes and help her make improvements. Once after an all-nighter, (Y/n) had accidentally fallen asleep on Mary’s shoulder and Mary didn’t push her off, she let her sleep!

And now a month later, (Y/n) couldn’t deny that she had developed feelings for Mary, and it kind of terrified her. Loving Yumeko had been easy. She was always so soft and warm like a puppy. Mary’s temperament on the other hand, was more like an old, distrustful dog that would snap if you reached into its personal space.

Sure (Y/n) had seemed to earn Mary’s favor, but would bringing up romantic feelings ruin it? Would it make Mary step away, or close herself off entirely?

(Y/n) was too afraid to find out, so she just did her best to bury her feelings deep down where no one could see them, but in a school where reading people was one of the biggest assets one could have, Yumeko took notice and it didn’t take her long to figure out what was going on.

“You should ask Mary out!” She had suggested excitedly, nearly making (Y/n) inhale the swig of water she took from her water bottle.

“What are-“ a cough, “what are you talking about?”

“You would be good together, and you want to be, don’t even try to deny it.”

(Y/n) twirled the bottle in her hands, watching it spin, “Mary doesn’t like me like that. She’s just, that’s how she is when…” words began to allude (Y/n), so she gestured vaguely with her hand making Yumeko laugh.

“…When she likes people.” Yumeko finished for her. “It’s an exclusive club, but I think you are on a higher tier than Ryota, Ririka and I are.”

“I am not.” (Y/n) denied.

“I disagree.” Yumeko grinned. “You definitely get extra special treatment.”

“Yumeko, I do not.” (Y/n) insisted.

“Yes you do!”

“I do not!”

“How about we review some of the things that she only does with you,” Yumeko held up a finger, “one, she holds your hand to pull you around wherever you need to go. I try to hold her hand and she swipes it away from me and threatens violence. Two, she sometimes makes you snacks and gives you thoughtful little gifts. Three, if someone tries to take advantage of you, she’s there to scare them away. Four, she invited you to her house. I am still so jealous about that! Do you need me to keep going?”

“I’m sure there are very logical, platonic reasons for all of that.” (Y/n) argued halfheartedly.

“Oh (Y/n),” Yumeko hugged her, patting her head like a child, “how did we even get to the dating stage?”

“Uh, you told me you wanted to take me on a date?” (Y/n) recalled.

“Oh yeah.”

“What’s happening here?”

(Y/n) and Yumeko turned to find Mary scowling at them.

“Mary, good morning!” Yumeko made the move to jump from (Y/n) to Mary, arms outstretched, but Mary threw out her palm and pushed against her forehead, stopping her from getting too close.

Mary’s hard stare locked onto (Y/n), making her tense up. What did she look so angry for?

“(Y/n),” Mary took her hand away from Yumeko’s forehead suddenly, almost causing her to fall face first into the ground. She grabbed on to (Y/n)’s wrist, pulling her out of the classroom, “come with me.”

“Where are we going?” Yumeko asked.

“You. Stay. Here.” Mary poked Yumeko hard in the chest with each deliberate word.

“Oh,” Yumeko smiled at (Y/n) almost mischievously, “I wonder where Mary is taking you this time, (Y/n). Alone together…”

Mary slid the classroom door shut in Yumeko’s face, nearly snipping off her nose. Then she continued leading (Y/n) away by the hand. When the halls filled with students thinned to nothing the further they went, Mary spoke,

“You aren’t thinking about getting back together with her, right?” She asked.

“Huh? No.” Yumeko was sweet, but once (Y/n) had time to reflect after their breakup, she realized that Yumeko was a big source of stress when it came to her extreme gambling addiction. But why would Mary care so much about the idea of them getting back together anyway?

“Keep it that way.”

“Mary?”

“We’re going to get coffee. I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Okay.”

And when Mary continued to hold (Y/n)’s hand until they made it to the coffee shop and sat beside her on the same side of the booth they had claimed, (Y/n) thought that just maybe, Yumeko was on to something.

***

Two weeks later, (Y/n) asked Mary to meet her in the library. It was quiet there and kind of like a big maze. So if Mary rejected her, she could just lose herself in the shelves and never be heard from again. She couldn’t believe she was actually going to confess. Her heart pounded as she took note of the time. Mary would be there any minute.

“What’s going on, you look kind of sick.”

(Y/n) whipped her head up to find Mary standing on the other side of the study table. She quickly stood, hitting her thigh against the edge of the table.

“Hey! Be careful.” Mary scolded, coming around the table, “You didn’t hurt yourself did you?”

“No, I’m okay.”

“Now what is this about? Is someone giving you trouble?” Mary already looked like she was blazing a warpath with the look in her eyes alone, but (Y/n) reached out to take her hand.

“No, no one is giving me any trouble. There is just something I wanted to tell you and I’m nervous.”

“Well, unless you did something stupid, you don’t have to be nervous.”

That was Mary for you. So comforting. (Y/n) took a deep breath in through her nose. She could do this. Only a sentence.

“Mary, I really like you and I was wondering if you would want to go on a date with me some time.”

(Y/n) shyly looked around the library, getting more nervous the longer Mary stayed quiet. When she finally gained the courage to face Mary again, she found that she was pleasantly pink, but her expression also conveyed that she might have believed that (Y/n) was the dumbest person in the world.

“What?!” (Y/n) squeaked self-consciously.

“Have,” Mary cleared her throat, “Have we not been going on dates for weeks now?”

“Have we?”

“You’re being serious?”

“Are you? Have we been dating? Since when?”

“Since when—“ Mary was too exasperated to even be angry. “I took you to meet my parents! You think I’d let any of those other dumbasses into the sanctuary my home provides from this insane school?”

“But— I don’t remember— when did you ask me to be your girlfriend?”

Mary’s mouth formed a tight line and she was quiet for a long moment. Then, she slowly turned on her heel to look out the window.

“…I thought it was just kind of a nonverbal understanding. It went without being said.”

(Y/n) was speechless. She honestly didn’t know what else to say. Yumeko had been right, Mary did like her. She liked her enough to consider them girlfriends. A warmth fluttered in her chest and she couldn’t help but laugh.

Mary’s hand shot out to cover her mouth, her cheeks still painted with red when she turned to face (Y/n) once more.

“Don’t you dare laugh. I don’t see what’s so funny about this.”

(Y/n) pried Mary’s hand from her lips, but kept their hands tethered together, shyly intertwining their fingers.

“You’re right. I’m sorry I didn’t understand your intentions sooner, but now at least we will be on the same page. If you still want me, anyway.”

“Of course I still want you.” Mary huffed. “Even if you are the densest fool I know.”

“Hey, at least I actually confessed my feelings directly instead of making assumptions.” (Y/n) grinned.

Mary pursed her lips and clenched her fists. This actually answered quite a few questions she had about the dynamics of their relationship and one of her most pressing questions about why (Y/n) hadn’t tried to kiss her once in the last several weeks. She saw that teasing grin (Y/n) wore now and wanted nothing more than to make it disappear.

“Well then, now that we are on the same page. Can I kiss you?”

“You want to? Already?” The smirk fell from (Y/n)’s lips and her face grew warmer as Mary stepped closer.

“I have been trying for weeks actually. You were really starting to drive me crazy. So, can I?”

(Y/n)’s voice eluded her as Mary got even closer, her brown eyes consuming (Y/n)’s entire vision. She nodded and was swiftly pulled in.

[jebewonmorelike]

Welcome, Player...

⁺⋆✰ Steal Your Heart; An OT9 + Reader Insert AU Interactive Fanfiction Game

TLDR; In this new ZeroBaseOne interactive AU fanfiction game, the reader plays as the 10th member of a K-Pop group mistreated by their company and on a downward spiral. One day, there's a glitch in the matrix-- causing our reader to enter the "Metaverse", where they receive special superpowers through the birth of their true self in the form of a Persona. What if the members of ZeroBaseOne can band together as the Phantom Thieves to take down their company and save themselves from their fate?

An interactive game featuring hand-edited media, polls, and a points-system that gives the reader their own specially-tailored ending (will determine which love interest they end up with). Will be just as funny as it is angsty, I promise.

⁺⋆✰ Game Score Sheet

⁺⋆✰ Masterlist

⁺⋆✰ Part One Available Now!!

Warnings: PG-13+ Themes, Angst, Drinking, Mistreatment by Company, Slight Suggestiveness, Crime, Mild Violence (Specific Warnings Listed On Each Chapter)

All are welcome to read/play: our reader insert will not be referred to by ANY pronouns (including they/them) -- so that all readers can feel immersed! Reader is the 10th member of ZeroBaseOne, but the group will be referred to as an idol group, not a boy group or a mixed-gender group. It's just fiction, so use your imagination to make it however you like!!

Part One Coming Very Soon (Character Profiles, Reader's Persona Awakening, and the explosive start to our game!!)

Please continue to the introduction below...

Would you like to start a new game?

Excellent! The story in question features the nine members of ZeroBaseOne (well, 10 actually; including you, dear Player!) and their journey both in the real world and the Metaverse to defeat a company that has taken advantage of them for years. But before we get too far into the plot, let me introduce myself. I'm Kara, aka jebewonmorelike and I'll be your Game Master. I'll check in with you at the beginning of every chapter to give you reminders, content warnings, and any miscellaneous info you might need.

Get it, got it, good, Player?

Perfect! I think we're gonna get along just fine.

I'm sure by now you've realized that this is no ordinary work of fanfiction. No, no. It's something a bit different. A bit special, even.

If you choose to continue reading, there's a few things you should know...

You're about to play a game -- a game that's story and ending depends on the choices you make along the way.

Sounds cool, right?

I know! I can't take all the credit, though. This fanfiction game is heavily-inspired by the JRPG game Persona 5. What is Persona 5 about? The great part is that, honestly, it doesn't really matter whether you've had experience with the game or not in order to play the game I've designed for you today...

Don't sweat it! I'm gonna explain everything you need to know right now and it's nothing you should find too complicated. How does that sound, Player?

Wonderful! I had a good feeling about you right from the very beginning, Player.

Our story is, of course, about a group called ZeroBaseOne... Or, well... To be more precise, it's a story about a group that used to be called ZeroBaseOne. A little over a year ago, some sh*t went down and turned their whole world upside down forever.

While all ages and genders are welcome to play this game (our OC is pronoun-free!), there might be some mature themes in this game. Nothing too crazy-- swearing, mild violence, angst, drinking, crime, some suggestive themes, and, above all, bringing justice to a company that mistreats its talent...

Are you okay with a PG-13+ rated game, Player?

Great! And, don't worry: there will be plenty of comedy, too. Comedy, to me, is essential to any plot. I think you're gonna really like this game! I hope. *Sigh*

Aw... Thank you, Player. I appreciate the reassurance. I've been second-guessing my writing for months now and--... Oh, sorry, back to the description of the game!

Like I was saying, ZeroBaseOne doesn't really look much like the one we know in real life. Instead, the members are a bit older, a bit more worn out and, honestly, having a pretty rough go of it at this point. And whose to blame for that?

You're so smart, Player! Of course it's their company. I'd like to just state quickly that this game is just that-- a game. Fictional; a story! No agencies or people in this game are representative of real life things. Especially not their fictional company. *Bombastic side-eye*.

So why did I decide to make this game? Well, we all love reading fanfiction. But wouldn't it be even more fun if the reader had a say in the story? If the reader's choices led to the creation of their own specially-crafted fanfiction just for them?

Maybe, by now, you're wondering just what exactly are you playing this game to win? Well it's what almost everybody wants a shot at in life... Love. Throughout this game, you will make decisions that will give you points towards different group members. Keep track of your score and, at the end of the game, the member who you've earned the most points for will determine your ending (and your love interest).

All game resources will be listed in the description of each chapter, at the top and bottom of this introductory post, and on the Steal Your Heart masterlist. There will be many opportunities to interact with this game and it will include a lot of hand-edited graphics to look at it! I hope you enjoy them, as I've planned them quite tediously.

I wish I could accept the compliment, but alas... I am no angel. I'm just your Game Master. Feeding you the story, presenting you with choices...

It's up to you, Player, to make the story that you want.

Alright-- enough small talk! I think you're more than ready to get started with our game.

So, what do you say, Player?

Are you ready to begin a game where, as a member of ZeroBaseOne, you lead your group members to gain back their inner strength, develop magical powers and defeat the company that has ruined your lives for far too long-- and find love along the way?

Then by all means, Player...

Please Select From The Chapter Menu Below:

Part One ☾⋆⁺₊✧ The Fool ✩₊˚.⋆ The Beginning

Part Two ✩₊˚.⋆ Chariot ☾⋆⁺₊✧ Kim Gyuvin

Part Three ☾⋆⁺₊✧ The Lovers ✩₊˚.⋆ Kim Jiwoong

Part Four ✩₊˚.⋆ The Magician ☾⋆⁺₊✧ Han Yujin

Part Five ☾⋆⁺₊✧ The Emperor ✩₊˚.⋆ Shen Ricky

Part Six ✩₊˚.⋆ Justice ☾⋆⁺₊✧ Seok Matthew

Part Seven ☾⋆⁺₊✧ Faith ✩₊˚.⋆ Kim Taerae

Part Eight ✩₊˚.⋆ The Hermit ☾⋆⁺₊✧ Park Gunwook

Part Nine ☾⋆⁺₊✧ The Empress ✩₊˚.⋆ Sung Hanbin

Part Ten ✩₊˚.⋆ The Priestess ☾⋆⁺₊✧ Zhang Hao

Part Eleven ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ The Finale

Steal Your Heart Masterlist Steal Your Heart Game Score Sheet

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Tuvok

By Ames

It’s been a little while since we highlighted a Vulcan on the A Star to Steer Her By Character Spotlight Series. Like Spock, our pointy-eared Voyager crew member Tuvok has his best moments when he is making the audience consider just how human these green-blooded hobgoblins can be. Tuvok benefits from his pure logic so frequently on the show that he is usually the voice of reason in a quadrant full of chaos. But Tim Russ is just so good at the Vulcan nuance that he’s never just a walking rulebook but a living person with flaws and [repressed] emotions.

So join us in a game of kal-toh, which could take years to master, as we shine our spotlight on the Voyager chief of security and one of our favorite Vulcans of the franchise! You can check out all of Tuvok’s logical (and illogical) actions below and/or meditate with us on this week’s podcast episode (telepath over to 1:11:50). Live long and prosper!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

Do not underestimate your own potential Tuvok’s role as mentor to other crew members is frequently nice to see during their long journey. He has the experience, temperament, and patience to guide his comrades through turmoil, especially someone like Kes who has fledgling mental powers. Watching Tuvok meditate with our Ocampan friend in episodes like “Cold Fire” and “The Gift” is very nice to see in helping ground characters.

If you can’t control the violence, the violence controls you Not only is it a genuine joy to watch Tim Russ acting his ass off with the sensational Brad Dourif in “Meld,” but the insight into Tuvok’s motives is also fascinating. In this episode and in “Basics,” he’s trying to rehabilitate Suder’s psychotic mind, which is commendable, but also to understand it in the first place, something that someone like my favorite Voyager character isn’t used to.

Logic in the court Let’s also give Tuvok some credit for agreeing to represent Quinn in “Death Wish” even though he doesn’t agree with the Q’s desire to use the ruling to end his own life. But Tuvok treats the matter fairly and with an open mind, which is only the logical thing to do. Quinn helps him to understand his side of the argument as best he can and Tuvok respects him throughout.

I won’t be afraid, not if you’re with me Just because “Innocence” is a generally terrible episode with awful child actors, really obnoxious aliens, and a deplorable twist, doesn’t mean Tuvok isn’t still great in it. He really is! He’s so patient with the horrible children that he should get an award, and it’s so sweet when he agrees to sit with Tressa when her weird backwards life reaches its natural end.

Computer, Vulcan blend, hot Janice Rand can shut her mouth when she tries to insinuate that young Tuvok is brown nosing when he brings Sulu his tea on the Excelsior in “Flashback.” It’s just plain adorable and his rapport with Captain Sulu is just a delight to watch. Sure, he also insists that Sulu not go save Kirk, but that’s exactly what you’d expect a Vulcan to do.

I’ve seen the way you isolate yourself even in a crowd of people Tuvok’s conversation with Morena about isolation in “Alter Ego” reveals a lot about his character as someone who represses the loneliness he feels while a quadrant away from his family. He connects with Morena in a way no one else on the crew could because they don’t let themselves get close to people. So when he agrees to teach Kim to play kal-toh, it’s so lovely.

8 Simple Rules for Dating my Ocampan Protege A lot of other crew members treat Kes’s dating a new boy in “Darkling” with some condescension. It’s an episode of people treating Kes like a child (which I’ll remind you: she is not) who can’t make her own decisions, but then you’ve got Tuvok being a straight up pal. He expresses to Zahir without judgment that all he wants is Kes’s safety, and boyface gets it.

Seska’s not the only one who knows how to cause a phaser malfunction Turns out, our buddy Tuvok writes a damn good holonovel when we come across his Maquis uprising program in “Worst Case Scenario.” And when the thing goes wrong, as it is wont to do, Tuvok is there to outsmart holo-Seska (the most scheming Seska of them all!) with an overloading phase rifle, like a badass. That’s sure one way to get around writer’s block.

Let’s just watch Event Horizon When Torres is about to get lobotomized in “Random Thoughts” because the Mari’s definition of justice is wildly different from ours, Tuvok leads the investigation and uncovers a black market for violent thoughts. And if that isn’t cool enough on its own, he mind melds with Guill, who can’t even come close to handling that much madness. That man is no Lon Suder, that’s for sure.

I am sorry. I cannot return your affection. Speaking of mind melds! Tuvok melds a lot in this show, and one beautiful example comes in “Gravity.” Noss is crushing on Tuvok hard, and who can blame her? It’s all one-sided though, so in the end, Tuvok melds with her to show her how he really feels. It’s a more intimate act for Tuvok than anything else he could have done, and it’s touching that he shares himself with her.

You’re Neelix. I’m safe with you. The development of the Tuvok-Neelix relationship is one of the best things about Voyager, full stop. And the best representation of this is pretty much everything in “Riddles.” Not only do we get some stunning work from Tim Russ, but we see Tuvok without the emotional clamps on, coming to terms with his situation and choosing to save the ship. Cue the waterworks.

Vulcans do not dance Which leads me directly into our final beautiful Tuvok moment. Because we here at SSHB are big Neelix fans, we welled up at Neelix’s farewell in “Homestead” when Tuvok performs his Vulcan interpretation of a dance for him. It’s no Macarena or anything, but it encapsulates perfectly what these two, who were such an odd couple all show, really mean to each other.

—

Worst moments

My logic was not in error, but I was There’s something almost fascinating about “Prime Factors,” in that the Prime Directive shoe is on the other foot for a change. This is probably what the Bajorans felt when the Federation let Cardassia walk all over them! But Tuvok won’t have any of it! Prime Directive be damned, he’s going to steal the Sikarian spatial trajector against Janeway’s orders.

On your marks, get set, no Tuvok, despite many decades of living with non-Vulcans, apparently has no idea how to treat them. We see in “Learning Curve” that Tuvok is tasked with getting some ex-Maquis crew members in line, and his first impulse is to make them run a 10K with the gravity turned up. Weird flex. And let the Bajoran kid wear his earring, dude! We went over this already with Riker!

I have not always been particularly partial to your methods either What a weird and convoluted episode “Twisted” is, but perhaps that’s its point. What seems more off the mark is that suddenly there’s this polite rivalry for command between Tuvok and Chakotay while Janeway is out of commission. It just seems to come out of nowhere, much like the bickering between Spock and McCoy that we complained about in their character spotlights.

A non-emotional response would be more useful While we did like how Tuvok takes Kes under his wing in episodes like “Cold Fire,” he also can’t help himself in judging her expression of emotions all the time during her training. He constantly sasses her for giggling or feeling overwhelmed or otherwise not displaying perfect Vulcan logic. Uh, Tuvok, did you notice that she’s not a Vulcan? No wonder he gets his head boiled.

In a way, a mind meld is almost an act of violence, isn’t it? While I can fawn over the excellent work in “Meld,” how fixated Tuvok gets on violence is also severely screwed up. His Vulcan logic won’t let him accept that a psycho like Suder doesn’t need a reason to kill, and Tuvok goes way too far with it. And I won’t let him off the hook here: creating a holoprogram to kill Neelix is not okay no matter how you feel about the character.

Neelix in the foyer with the lead pipe The whole saboteur Jonas plot arc in season two was a convoluted mess. You’d think someone as logical as Tuvok would have figured that out, but no. In “Investigations,” he comes up with an even more convoluted plan to get Tom captured by Kazon, endangering the Talaxian ship he was on, and not clueing in people like Chakotay what was going on. And I still don’t know. What WAS going on??

Mom and Dad aren’t home – let’s have a Vidiian party! We joked a lot during The Original Series that whenever Spock was left in charge, things went wrong. Well the same thing happens when this Vulcan is left in charge when Janeway and Chakotay have to be abandoned on a planet in “Resolutions” and the crew is ready to mutiny right away until Tuvok gives in and calls the Vidiians: the one thing Janeway told him not to do.

This has pon too farr! I will never not rag on pon farr as a plot point because it’s too damn squicky. When TOS did it, it was one thing, but when Torres is suffering from pon farr and Tuvok insists that Paris have non consensual sex with her in “Blood Fever,” it’s not okay. Why the writers had to keep sweeping sexual assault under the rug for the sake of Vulcan bullshit is entirely beyond me.

There is little point in furthering this discussion Even the other people on the space elevator in “Rise” can see it: the whole episode long, Tuvok is dismissive and condescending towards Neelix until the Talaxian finally snaps. If we commended Tuvok for developing his relationship with Neelix throughout Voyager earlier, this was the nadir that required them to work towards a bond of respect later on in the series.

A deadly case of writer’s block While it was really fun playing Tuvok’s Maquis program in “Worst Case Scenario,” you’ve got to admit that Seska’s hologram nearly taking over the ship was all Tuvok’s fault. It seems strange for him to not finish the security training program once he’d started it, or at least to delete it from the computer when he accepted that the Maquis weren’t going to be threats.

Big Brother is watching, and mind reading It was nice of Tuvok to save Torres in “Random Thoughts,” but until it was going to affect his crew, Tuvok practically salivates over the concept of the Mari’s thought police. We couldn’t have been the only ones reading some sexual energy between him and Nimira, the Chief Examiner of the Mari Constabulary, right? Stop it, Tuvok. Only Odo may be a fascist on this show.

The call is coming from inside the Vulcan When Tuvok is put in charge of the investigation to determine who’s been attacking former Maquis members in “Repression,” it turns out he’s actually hunting himself! Sure, he’s being mentally hijacked a little bit, but dude, if you’re going to go full fascist in your investigation and inspect the crew’s mail for bugs, don’t forget to inspect yours too! What is with these fascists?

—

Weird how almost all of those moments were heavily represented in seasons two and three? I wonder what happened in season four that sidelined Tuvok so much? We may never know. Let’s see how other characters fare as they progress through the series: come back next week to find out! You can also keep listening to our Enterprise watchalong on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast, mindmeld with us over on Facebook and Twitter, and have a logical day!

[onebraincell-itmiebcraft]

Liveblogging real life part 2: Joel (it's been 12 13 days) (already watched)

Okay so maybe we'll do the liveblog-every-five-minutes-unless-something-crazy thing also idk if I should link this up to my intro post (idk how) or reblogged my og one with this oh well we'll figure it out why am I eating AGAIN doing this

I got inspired after rewatching secret life my beloved for the umpteenth time :P

Okay ep. 1/finale is hilarious and new "series" 😭

Joel why did you point out the cursor I can't take my eyes away

First batch

Joel jumping then immediately keeling over in nausea:

Idk how to respond to that but it struck a chord within me, how true

BigB wholesome waving but it also looks like his arm is BENT I can't get over VR arms man 😭

Punching BigB because he's so tall is so real tbh + love the smash cut to Gem being salty

Headpatting + baby-ish voice "little gem/Ren/skizz" what a gentleman makes me think of the try not to cry challenge or Jimmy's crazy christmas series where he says Joel is a crybaby and Gem says he's a romance guy in a mental gymnastics train of thought

Grian throwing his head back from the outside?! Cryptid behaviour

The real life vids don't make me motion sick but Joel making retching and vomiting sounds does NOT help it makes me sick by proxy or something I hate being disoriented and nauseous too buddy

There's probably a video out there of someone comparing regular mc to vr because vr just hits different like proportions wise

Joel noises

Love this Joel-Gem duo already idk how to describe it just fun

Also Joel having to process out loud he won't throw up on Gem I remember playing Richie's plank experience or whatever years and years ago shit was REAL

Joel's inventory becoming disorganized with things that can be stacked together :(

Hey what gem said kinda reminds me of what grian said :D at the end of his episode awful :DD

Poor Joel he's battling his height complex alongside his motion sickness (rip bozo poor little meow meow)

I think almost everybody had the problem of facing the wall dude, it's okay it's very silly

Water foreshadowing (he will swim with his future gang and become incredibly sick)

Geminislay that pig

Wait till Joel learns about lying down‼️‼️

JOEL STOP MAKING NAUSEOUS SOUNDS I'M GONNA FROW UP 👹

"...Falling in powdered snow" kinda reminds me of this short story I read in grade 9 English class "The Bamboo Trap" protag fell in The Bamboo Trap™ and got bitten by big ass spiders or something the idiot, also I think got published in the same anthology as the most dangerous game 👊

Joel admits to weakness

Weird ass snow, someone built this or something?

Joel with his arms out looks so silly, so does gem

Oh gem how graceful with the figure skating history 👊👊👊✌️👉✌️✌️🤜🤛🤛🤜🙏

Lol they learn about the wrist chat

Second batch

Jimmy, oh iconic Timmy

Shield (why did I write this again?)

Bi shoes, love seeing gem's skin wearing the bi shoes I forget about it every once in a while and when I see it again it's a pleasant surprise

Vr players learn to pvp

When you use the shield to block in first person it looks kinda stupid dude

Campsite vibes tbh, I really like it.

Bee spotted 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝 what is it doing

Shaky controller cursor over top chest plate I feel you

Falling irl indeed (recursive mention about plank)

LOUD holy moly Joel is loud (not negative)

Healf being something people can't look at at all times is actually a kinda funny mechanic

Smajor friendship aww when will they team up (did I forget about a series)

The poor beg for bread, we live in a society ✊😔

Grian killing??? Since when??? (Sarcastic)

Batch three

Peace and love is why they haven't died yet 😘

Arms again! Weird looking things

Hand gesture reminds me of that one diamond scar short with etho's greedy "I want the diamond" voice

Flint and steel? Weird looking thing

Omg red club looks like bugs, the way the trio gossips about them ♥️

Right no out messages...

Can't believe the most motion sick man gets in the water not once but TWICE this ep

Does he know

Where did the horse thing come from

Can't remember if I mentioned this but when the sword swings without critting in VR it looks so silly it pokes

A bugs life: the sequel

Club: deadly euphemism

Sword 😐

Something about jimmy doesn't get burnt...

Why is Jimmy jiggles the only one with a wooden sword???

Strong words from a man on the verge of mania 👀

Lol knowing impulse breaks the ground under Joel big brain man going for the kill

Something about the disappointed way Joel says "scar!" And scar stabbing him in the first caused this

Tim is so British he says "get in" so much

Joel, again exasperated, cries out "where's all my stuff?!"

Funny Minecraft men, my favourite funny Minecraft men

My god seeing from Joel's perspective his second death is from zombie

I think Joel was about to saying bluming + the cover behind house + the constant begging for his stuff back + violence as an answer (he hits men)

4

Oh scar up to no good again

JOEL GETS IN THE WATER AGAIN!!! MOTION SICKNESS WIN!

Joel and scar just did mitosis stop being scared of biology 🙄

What was Mr solidaritygaming doing in that hill and said yes to did he finally get iron?

Aw the silly arm motion I love greeting people with spirit fingers reminds me of that

GOON SQUAD?! (neuron activated)

Famous moment

Oh more famous moment here comes the smallidarity kiss

Love Tim's body language once again the sharp smooth head turn to grian he's like a cartoon character

(what grian mean they are suited and booted he cut this part out I don't remember the other povs 😢)

Leave it to solidaritygaming himself to be the most homoerotic straight man there is of course + Joel is still patting him on the head? + Timsel being cringefail needing to jump multiple times on ONE BLOCK + Joel did NOT need to lean that much he looks like he's powered by springs + Jim's arms always being so tight together. Makes him. Look like. An old granny??? + Joel IMMEDIATELY checking his wrist afterwards like it's a Tuesday and he's on break + homophobic GRIAN + impulse's dad delivery one liner

The more I watch smallidarity kiss the more bizarre and asinine it becomes to me 😀

When did Joel learn to button jump (he WAS mental for jumping irl irl)

Okay Joel cut out that canary comment why don't you 🙄🙄🙄

WHACK 💀 SHAKE YOUR HANDS REAL FAST 💀💀 JOEL SCREAM #3997 💀💀💀

Fond of Joel's cadence of saying "hello guys!" And "I'm coming in boys!" And "HAHA!" oddly musical

Okay aaaaaaand he dies worst ranking ever good for him the end

Idk if I should liveblog scar next or watch Ren because I've already watched up to skizz + me 'ead 'urts oh well

[lilicannotfly]

Azul Ship Headcanons

So I already made a thread ranking(?? Judging?? I dunno lols) all the Azul ships I care about and so here's a post with headcanons for them and I have important things to do but shhh don't remind me and I won't remind you :)

Azuvil 🐙👑

I dunno all my energy for this ship died but I think it would be fun to write or read or work with because imagine they're both doing it for like appearances or something else of that manner and someone catches feelings or something but also they both think the other one thinks it's real from the beginning ??? So fake dating but extra steps. There's like this one fic that put this into my head but I don't remember the name lols

Azujami 🐙🐍

I really already explained this in the tweet but yeah this is only good when they get together after university (not NRC, but after they graduate and then graduate uni) and then get married and then divorced and then the story is them healing at fifty. Perhaps they become just friends, perhaps Azul learns to leave well enough alone, perhaps Jamil gets mad, perhaps they go their own ways, maybe one of them dies ?? I dunno this would seem fun to play around with :)

Jeiazu 🐬🐙

I don't really have anything to say about this, except if you aren't related or already in different relationship, being business partners? Pretty gay ngl. Pretty queer.

Floazu 🦈🐙

Do I have to write about this? Why did I include it. This is not a ship I care about like at all :/ Bumping it down to 1/10 ya'know I hate the childhood friends to lovers trope? It's too messy why would you date your childhood bestie I would let her kill me yes have we spoken in years no but would I date her no. No that's silly. I despise the trope actually. Please get it out of my face ahhhhh anyways

Azuide 🐙💀

I don't know why I included this either errrrr.. though I feel like they would bond over chess. The whole thing with the game of life in the comic anthology was pretty funny and I feel like working with a relationship with them would be very silly because it would be like that all the time and also neither of them know how to give or recieve affection properly so lols

Azurook 🐙🏹

As I said, this is literally just Rook being like "ooh interesting what if...I hunted you down??" and me projecting my unhealthy relationship with attention onto Azul. Oops.

Also I wanna be able to come up with cool ship names TwT I wanna come up with something like eight tailed arrow or something but everytime I try it sounds so stupidddddd how do y'all do itttttt I'm sure there are other people who have come up with this ship and maybe I just sound stupid let's move on.

Lizu/Water Spirit 👻🐙

Okay so this is really a crackship like she found him not up to standard but imagine if she didn't and also imagine if they got married and imagine if the whole story was just them healing in the afterlife?? That would be pretty cool imo :) So yeah that's it. It's gotta be awful to be seventeen for five hundred years and I'm gonna be honest I don't remember how she died so maybe she could work through that and Azul can work through his self worth issues and body issues, especially that he is now without a proper form. It would be cute, imagine it !

Zuel/Sailor's Lungs 🐙🫁

'Cause selfship names have no rules !!! But also this doesn't even count even because we're literally the same guy (not like I am him or vise versa but more like we're similar) so it would be like dating a fucked up mirror. Selfcest 😭😭😭 Zero out of ten, moving on.

AzuRid 🐙🌹

I forgot to include this in the original thread, oops. They're t4t lesbians (transfem riddle and transmasc nonbinary azul <3) and also in love and also the healthiest relationship here (shhh these are my headcanons I do what I want they get along beautifully once they get together) and also happy !!! Finally !!! And also they would be fun to work with because academic rivals to lovers is always fun. (I know these images are crispy as hell shhhhhhh don't mention it)

End of Headcanons !!!

If you have more please share I need more things to read to distract me from my schoolwork because my eyes hurt and my bones hurt an d I need to do something <3

[celleryeller]

Game design thoughts- Superliminal

I’ve decided, for shits and giggles and bettering my analysis skills, that I’ll write and post some thought about the game design of games I’m playing for the first time. Not a rating or anything, just a sort of what I learned from it

I just finished Superliminal on the Xbox. Only took around 2 hours for a solid first playthrough. Made in Unity, released 2019.

The main mechanics were around perspective. Unfortunately, this playthrough wasn’t completely blind, because there was a gif set or promo trailer floating around Tumblr a couple years ago, and it showed the mechanics before I got a chance to figure them out myself. But, the premise is picking up objects, and their size depends on the actual perspective when you drop it.

I think those mechanics are pretty fucking cool. I would love to see how the idea was originally prototyped. Or how they came up with the idea. Honestly tomorrow morning I might look into if the creators have done any interviews or anything.

The tutorial was pretty sick though. Instead of ui elements floating and telling you what to do, everything was written on objects in the game. My favorite was “press a to jump” being on a wet floor sign.

Narratively, it did make me ponder about brute forcing puzzles, and trying the same thing over and over. There was one puzzle I was stuck on near the end that I only decided to change perspectives on after I noticed the classic game trick of teleporting the player to create a feeling of infinite looping. While I didn’t walk away fundamentally changed, I did gain a new perspective on how I do puzzles.

The juice was pretty good, too. It got me giddy to pull every fire alarm and use up every fire extinguisher just because the option was there. There might also be achievements for doing that each level? Idk. Superliminal also had some good (although a little too loud) controller shake when an object was made huge and dropped on the ground. There was text I couldn’t read on papers that I wanted to read. The loading screens were great too, and while the bar animations weren’t accurate, the variation and weirdness for each one made up for it.

The limitations, unfortunately, were a touch obvious. The edges of light could shine through objects in a way that initiated something was up. Too many objects bumping around (which didn’t happen often) made a god awful sound. Screen hiccups happened a lot. Honestly, all of it was bearable, but the first one in particular just made me think about how light does that and it pisses me off as a developer that I can’t control it.

Other thoughts:

The walking around and setting felt very reminiscent of The Stanley Parable, especially in the repeated opening segments.

Music cutoffs were well placed and heavily affected the tone.

Late game played heavily with dream with dream sensation, and so perfectly emulated the dream feeling of looking at everything right side up while it feels like you’re laying down.

Played with the medium. I mentioned earlier that it used teleportation for infinite hallway tricks, but at some point it just started teleporting you for the purpose of being jarring.

On a similar note, it loved to play with the first person camera. It knew that you couldn’t look behind you, so it had complete free range to silently change whatever you weren’t looking at. Then when everything was breaking down, it started fucking with you and changing things as you looked at them, so you only saw the change once you moved

There was one level intended to be eerie, and it did that so well it made me google “is Superliminal scary.” The answer is no. I’m just a bit of a paranoid fraidy cat. It ended with a joke so good I instantly forgave it for making me scared.

The humor was also pretty good. It’s a good reminder that games can bet serious AND a little bit silly with it.

The piano music was superb

The options menu was simple and bland. It didn’t need to be anything else. Everything it had could simple fall under “gameplay” or “audio” settings.

Conformed to the wonderful idea that text to speech voices are evil. Fuck tik tok.

Overall, it was a sick game! I might do a couple more replays tomorrow. Or I’ll move to something else.

[yamatossideboob]

ONE PIECE 1125 Spoilers!!

This week's cowerings from behind the sofa:

iirc thats the carpenter (?) who's the spit of another guy from pre-timeskip, that everyone assumed was the earlier guy which made Oda feel the need to clarify. aw man I hope he's found. Hi Yamato!!!

I feel like the Egghead Arc proper has ended as of last chapter, this to me is firmly in the inter-arc section of the OP cycle.

I'm gonna pretend that Lucci is convinced he *did* kill Stussy, he just doesn't know that this story is written by Eiichiro Oda.

So, during the Onigashima raid part of Wano, I was watching a GLR video, and he pointed out a writing device that Oda uses to subtly guide the reader's mind while they read a chapter, which is again used here: this scene where the vice-admirals are afraid of punishment from Saturn, and where he uses Haki to kill (?) Doberman, is here to get the ideas of PUNISHING FAILURE and ELDER POWER into our heads, so that the more important event that comes in a few pages isn't completely out of nowhere. It's micro-foreshadowing! It's subtle enough that your mind is primed for the next development without being alerted into expecting it. AND FUCK WAS I NOT EXPECTING IT

Also ykw that 200 YEARS AGO caption does the same thing, reminding us how not fucking human the Elders and Imu are. Putting the B in subtle, our Oda.

I hope we find out more about what happened with Emet that day. Did someone else who had the Nika Fruit activate Emet, or was it leftover juice from the Joyboy days?

a lesser appreciator would seeth and cry at York doing a stupid thing like this when she's already more or less won. I, however, benighted and worldly as I am, understand well that one can be equal parts genius and buffoon at the same time 😏

man Oda is just really laying on the fake-out deaths this chapter huh. I feel no need to revise this statement to anticipate future developments, not at all.

i've already said as much, but the fact that the Satellites are digital and robot in nature makes the fake-out easier to forgive. At least Edison & co surviving allows for this new little twist on the gameboard to occur, so now we have yet another Vegapunk causing anti-WG havoc later. And we'll see the Weatheria geezers again!

man I cannot wait for this entire wretched class to be extinguished.

goddddddddddddddd. As soon as Garling showed up I knew it would be serious business. Just HOW serious I did not yet know...

my brain was SCRAMBLING for a split second reading this, trying to remember which Elder was S&D Dept. I thought it was Mars immediately bc he's visibly shook, but then I realised NAH SATURN IS COOKED ISNT HE

Being less facetious, the quickly mounting dread I felt reading this sequence was something I hadn't felt since seeing Saturn transform for the first time earlier this year. How time flies...

This is genuinely terrifying, and fascinating for its story implications later on.

Like, what do we know now? That no one, NO ONE, is safe from Imu, that even Stars can die (heh), that the Elders' diabolical powers are far more transactional than expected, and that even this power has constraints? Much to think about!!

Plus, the vice-admirals must surely have less faith in their exalted leaders, after Doberman's maybe death, and witnessing one dying from a Faustian bargain gone fucked up. This plus Akainu's frustrations with the Celestial Dragons... I think patience with World Nobles will soon reach its limit...

and FIGARLAND FUCKING GARLING!!! This makes his late-game intro make so much more sense now, if he was going to be this big a player in due time. Even the knowledge that a character exists can lead to speculation, and this fandom can be clever indeed. Saving Garling only for when necessary made this twist hit as hard as it did... Oda fucking blindsided us babes. Kudos.

Also yeah I'm not even going to joke here, Saturn is DEAD. I'm glad Oda got those earlier fake-outs out of the way earlier, this helped this demise hit harder too lmfao. and fuck, what a way to remind us what a threat Imu really is, I was chilled by this.

ykw it makes sense that the Vegas had spare parts laying around. I hate this though bc when me and my OP bestie was discussing this chapter, she accused me of wanting to "Scrooge McDuck dive into a pile of headless robotiddy York torsos", and I was furious bc she was completely right lads.

Koala taking notes, gwan gerl use that literacy

I love that the RA are taking this new information so seriously, and considering the possibilities in such a clearheaded manner. I need these guys to make a big splash in the final war, and most of GET READY EVERYONE BECAUSE MONEY D. DRAGON IS FINALLY ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING! MAYBE!

No but fr things are going to get worse before they get better and its going to hurt, bc Oda's writing this and we're about to see old locations and past friends duke it out for whatever scraps they can muster before FLOOD 2 FLOOD HARDER hits. This won't be pretty friends 😥

But that's a problem for the next arc, as now we'll probably do a quick round robin and see how everyone else is doing before we commit to Elbaf. New chapter in 7 days! See ye all there nakama! 💪✖️