#a really wild ending purely for shock value

[geddy-leesbian]

btw I'm either ignoring the tiny amount of canon Gaiden has or making up some bullshit about the parasite stunting growth so Lucia is still a pretty little kid in this fic because I think it's cute when Luis has a little kid with him

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

Firestarter 1998 Black Metal

I guess ever since I learned about the history of black metal, particularly its Norwegian second wave, I've just been in a sort of shock over how popular it still managed to become. Like, clearly some of its tenets—pure evil and Satanic worship—were played up for sensationalistic shock value, and many ended up biting hard on that aspect of it, just like how lots of concerned American parents got whipped up into a frenzy over their kids listening to Ozzy Osbourne, Judas Priest, and Iron Maiden in the 80s, convincing themselves that if their impressionable kid played the records backwards, that they could then become possessed by demons because of the imagined Satanic messaging that was hidden in the music. Just pure, laughable silliness, especially considering just how tame a lot of that music sounds today.

But early 90s Norwegian black metal was a far more serious beast, with some of the most extreme fears that were borne by that Satanic panic actually sort of coming to fruition. I mean, whether or not anyone within that Norwegian scene actually believed in their own bullshit, some of its members still managed to gain notoriety by doing some truly heinous and horrifying stuff, like murder. One of the scene's founders, Euronymous, from a band called Mayhem, and who also owned the Oslo record store where Norwegian black metal had originally started, once repeatedly stabbed a gay man to death.

And another thing that this scene manifested was a whole spate of church burnings as well; like fifty of them. Again, whether or not these musicians actually believed in any form of Satanism or held extreme anti-Christian beliefs totally becomes beside the point when they actually end up causing real world harm. But those actions that they took in order to gain credibility, by practicing what they preached in their music, caused the whole scene to become its own spectacle anyway, which is what it seems like some of its most vocal members had wanted all along; a self-fulfilling prophecy, as it were.

Now, while I viscerally tend to despise the sound of black metal itself, mostly because of its shrieking, demonic vocals, I'm not here to say that because a bunch of Norwegians took their shit way too far, that black metal, as a whole, should be canceled. I, personally, find its presentation and obsession with all things morose and evil to be really, really corny, but if you dig it, then more power to you.

But what I really struggle to wrap my head around—and perhaps I really shouldn't be as surprised as I am here—is that despite all of this violence and hatred that some musicians in the Norwegian scene themselves actually carried out in real life, that labels would still be willing to play footsie with those bands. Like, this comp, from Century Black Records, isn't from an obscure label of any kind; Century Black was a sublabel of Century Media Records, which is a very popular and diverse metal label that's now owned by fucking Sony! Like, you can easily find Mayhem's music on Spotify, the band of the guy who did that murder!

And understandably, there is a concerted effort by metal enthusiasts, and the industry as a whole, to deride and not platform black metal's Nazi subgenre, but if a dude who wasn't a confirmed Nazi committed a grisly, unprovoked killing that was also quite possibly a hate crime, and he and a bunch of others burned some churches too, well, Sony's capitalizing on their music right now. Fucking wild, right?

So, my objection here isn't to the sound or the absurdly cringy themes that black metal itself is steeped in, but it's that a label would still include a band like Mayhem on their comp. Like, isn't that some shit you'd wanna sweep under a rug, like with the Nazi stuff?! But no; I mean, do you see this album cover and title? Firestarter? What do you think they're referring to there, especially with this CD that's largely a showcase of foundational Norwegian black metal bands? Gee, I wonder 🤔.

And guess what? I didn't actually hate this album as much as I thought I would. I mean, I'm still all the way out on all of these songs once the typical black metal vocals kick in, but some of these riffs and melodies, combined with breakneck-paced drumbeats, are very impressive and satisfying to a tiny slice of me that enjoys some very heavy music from time to time. And some of these songs lean a little proggy too, which I can also get down with.

But can we please not do such a transparent allusion to one of the most truly abhorrent phenomena that Norwegian black metal begat? I mean, I understand the issues that people have with Christianity and organized religion more broadly, and I, myself, am a hardened atheist too, but can we please tone it the fuck down here by not flippantly making reference, in both the title and album art, to something reprehensible that actually repeatedly happened? Like, can we not glorify any of that extracurricular shit or present this album in such a way?! I mean, if you were making an album of Phil Spector's greatest hits, your album art wouldn't include anything that referenced the murder he committed, right?

No highlights.

[naughtygirl286]

So we went to see that new horror movie Talk to Me I didn’t know much about it and only seen one trailer and thought it looked kinda interestingly creepy. I didn’t know it was an A24 thing. I usually don’t really like their horror movies being at times they are just weird for the sake of being weird. You can argue “their Elevated Horror” all you want but if things descend into nonsensical craziness in the last 20-30mins that doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the last hour/hour and a half of great story/plot then I feel there is something wrong in the words from Johnny Depp’s character in the 2004 movie Secret Window “Mort: You know, the only thing that matters is the ending. It’s the most important part of the story, the ending.” and I always feel A24 movies usually fuck that up 😄 anyway…

we go in and when the movie starts I seen the A24 logo on the screen and I’m like “oh no..” 🙄 so we’re there now and we start watching it and I'm going to try to explain somethings with out giving away to much so anyway it starts with a wild house party and there is a problem which results in 2 rather brutal deaths.

and then we jump to the group of kids that are the main focus of the movie with the main character being Mia (played by Sophie Wilde)

Her Mother recently passed due to an apparent suicide and she is kinda not coping well with it and is avoiding her father (who she kinda blames I felt) and trying to fill the void with her friends

She finds these guys who are kinda doing these like seance type of things and she wants to check it out and bring beings along some friends to check it out

what is going on is these 2 guys have like this ceramic hand etched with all types of symbols and words and crazy stuff and when you hold it is like a Handshake type of way and say the magic words "Talk to me" (hence the title) you see dead people and they possess you.

Now I was wondering where the hand came from and as soon as I thought that they gave a quick lil explanation on where it supposedly came from which was good being I usually question stuff like that

Now the kids are having a great time with this and playing with it and it kinda reminds me of Poltergeist (1982) where they are having fun with the occurrences in the kitchen and then shit really starts to happen that is what happens in this its like that line from Jeff Goldblum’s character in The Lost World: Jurassic Park "Dr. Ian Malcolm: Oh, yeah. Oooh, ahhh, that's how it always starts. Then later there's running and screaming." and that is pretty much how it is becasue as they are playing with it something of course goes seriously wrong and one of the kids gets possessed by something malicious and it is up to Mia and her friends to figure out how to save their friend before their soul is completely lost.

Now I thought the movie was great! felt it was interestingly different idea and how it was done. It kept me interested and you are wondering if they are going to get out of this situation it didn't feel like they were going to be able to get it done and save their friend. Now I can say I didn't find the movie overly scary but I did find some of the scenes and deaths kinda shocking and disturbing in their brutality like the scene where the guy is smashing his head and it seems so real its hard to watch and you wonder how they did that and like near the end of the movie one of the characters gets stabbed in the neck and it was pretty jarring to the point where the audience let out a collective gasp and a woman not sitting far from us even exclaimed loudly "oh no!!"

So the pure shock value of the imagery is quite horrific and done with excellently as well as he make up effects for the dead when you see them I thought that was amazingly done the the people who done them I feel they were pretty Oscar worthy myself

Now the acting in this I feel that it was very realistic and raw especially from it lead Sophie Wilde she was amazing in this and you really feel for her character of Mia of course everyone else was amazing but she was the main stand out in this

The movie is excellent and has great acting, story, scares and even some humor in there but what about the ending? this is A24 after all and remember "the only thing that matters is the ending. It’s the most important part of the story, the ending.” how bad did they truly fuck it up? and the answer is they didn't! this movie has a coherent ending that matched the rest of the movie and works with the story which I was surprised and happy with. You do get that pay off with this which I think is what a first for a A24 horror movie. The ending at first you don't quite know what happened at first you think it is one thing and then its all like "oh..oh no!" like you catch on quick but it so works and makes the movie better with that one final shock.

but in the end the movie is great and I liked it and I think if you are looking for some horror related to watch I would totally recommend it

[duncanor]

I love tragedy, and volume 10 is the one I read the most. I find it sad for Wolfwood but it's definitely good writing and not a meaningless ending for his character. (truly one of the most impacting event in the entire Manga).

Banana fish ending is just shock value to me. Ash had that sword of damocles hanging over him the moment he became a victim. He was never going to have another ending, no matter how much the wild cat fought, he was always going to end up on that mountain and meet his fate.

AND THAT SUCKS. Because what does it mean to us, the readers? People who have been abused should just give up? Was their life really ruined beyond repair? Nothing to be done but accept an unfortunate fate? That's what I got from Ash ending, it was what Ash believed. And it genuinely made me cry because of how purely unfair and untrue it was.

Aslan could have had better, he should have had a better ending. The ending he fought for, the ending many died for. But that future was never for him.

And I will never understand why.

The difference between Ash lynx death and Wolfwood death is that Wolfwood was doomed by the narrative while Ash was doomed by the author.

[honeyviscera]

Some headcanons for Hunter's dynamic with the rest of the Bad Girl Coven when he joins because OF COURSE he will:

(he's going to join the found family. he's going to. he will. he is going to be loved and cherished and valued and shown real affection and *starts crying*) - He has a very brother-and-sister vibe with Luz. They love each other, he's eternally grateful to her, they love studying wild magic together, and he loves learning about glyphs, but they ALWAYS do the most to bug the other. Luz teases Hunter and playfully pokes him to get a reaction and she's always successful, but THEN he sees how Luz is around Amity and. hehe. Suddenly he has fodder for playful teasing revenge.

- Also hugs. He needs hugs and Luz loves giving hugs and yes. them. hugging. (please let him be hugged.) - He and Amity. just. Understand each other. They will sit in the living room of the Owl House in silence and just Vibe for hours, Amity reading Azura and Hunter reading texts on wild magic, and occasionally they will make Understanding Eye Contact. On the flip side, they also love to gush about their respective interests to the other, and they always listen to what the other has to say.

- Amity also helps Hunter do his research in the library and they make up some bs about Important Emperor's Coven Business in order to access all those Restricted Books on Things The Emperor Doesn't Want You To Know, and it becomes an inside joke with them, where they act out more and more outlandish reasons in order to get to the books to each other, while everyone else looks on with varying degrees of amusement, confusion, and concern.

- They also talk about family issues. It's cathartic. Amity realises that Hunter never got Supportive Older Siblings and decides (maybe? ill-advisedly) to introduce him to Emira and Edric. This goes about as well as you would expect. But at the end of that meet up, Hunter just. can't stop smiling. Amity thinks that maybe this wasn't such a bad decision after all. - Gus can't stop draping himself all over Hunter. With finger guns, side hugs, etc, and Gus' endless stream-of-consciousness talking style, Gus just. drags Hunter everywhere because "Oh wow! It's another guy in the Bad Girl Coven! We're bros now. We are officially bros."

- Gus tries to act all cool around Hunter in order to impress him, which fools nobody, but Hunter is just kinda overwhelmed by Gus' enthusiasm and also he's once again amazed he has Yet Another Friend that he just. goes along with it. - He and Willow are besties. yes. At first, he's kinda terrified of her because of her power and Pure Feral Energy, but quickly realises she's really warm the rest of the time.

- Willow is very affectionate around Hunter and Hunter is just. internally sobbing like "oh my god you're so sweet what did I do to deserve this"

- Hunter always listens to Willow gush about her plants and he takes Very Detailed Notes because this stuff is helpful to his research (and also he thinks Willow is Very Cool) - Eda is soo incredibly nice to him and supportive of his rebellion and at first he's kinda afraid of her because he has Trauma but quickly realises Eda is absolutely awesome

- She encourages him to embrace his inner desire to Disobey The Emperor and do Illegal Things and after a while she is 100% successful

- She gives him the love and affection he has so desperately been lacking and the first time she praises him he bursts into tears. This is followed by a hug from Eda. It's very sweet.

- Hunter is worried Eda will kick him out when she finds out who he is but she's like. "Kid. You're fine. I literally housed and cared for my estranged sister who cursed me as children. What matters is that you've rebelled, and you deserve to be cared for because Belos is an abusive asshole."

- Cue Hunter crying once again

- Yeah Eda just adopts Hunter as one of her children. Hunter is shocked but incredibly grateful and there are a lot of tears.

- When he meets Lilith again, at first Lilith is like. "Ugh. It's the young whippersnapper. Little brat." but very quickly she realizes "Oh wow. This is a literal child. This is a literal actual child who is heavily traumatized. I am so sorry, I am so glad you're safe, come on let's do some illegal research together I have soooo much info on what you're looking for, you won't even begin to believe it" Anyways please let this poor child be loved he needs it

[skopostheorie]

I'm thinking about that Roman Astérix AU again... I was too scared to post it back when Astérix was my SpIn because I thought it was cringe but I actually like it now.

Basically... imagining a universe where Astérix lives in a conquered area of Gaul, and as a man who wants to be the village warrior having now lost the war against the Romans feels useless and out of place. He's a bit insistent on doing everything by himself; he doesn't engage in trade with the other people and instead goes hunting alone, even as it gets harder and harder to find anything with the Romans' construction into wild forests. Basically, he's a guy with no where to go and no real purpose. Eventually he's enlisted as a Roman legionary (by choice or not would both be interesting ideas, so I'm not sure yet). There he has considerably more value, even if he's conflicted about it; his agility and quick thinking makes him a favourite of the Centurion; he seems to have a future here. He gets by, not sure how to take it. He doesn't drink in moderation. Especially when the other legionnaries talk about their friends and wives at home.

The Centurion calls Astérix in (is he now going by Asterus? Whatwilbecomofus? Maybe. You decide.) one day and tells him, as his favourite legionary, he's giving Astér a special mission. They need to destabilise the village on the coast of Brittany if they want any hope of conquering it. Surely Astér, with his wit and warrior's mind, can think of something?

So Astér sets off, not entirely sure what he's going to do yet. Alone, of course, he still does everything by himself. It goes well enough.

In reaching the village, he spends a good while scouting out the place and what he might do (being small and nimble as he is, it's not too hard). He settles upon kidnapping a villager - but only one who's sort of unpopular - so they fight over whether to go and save them, creating division and hopefully leaving them confused before they get pummelled by the Romans.

His first thought is Assurancetourix/Cacofonix, but he's discovered that even he goes to fight when the Romans show up and that, besides his singing, the villagers seem to like him. That leaves a peculiar choice. Obélix.

Obélix, having never met Astérix in this universe, is pacifist to a fault. Not out of any moral obligation, but he's just not all that concerned about standing up for himself; he doesn't go to fight the Romans because fighting is scary, and the other village Gauls are always talking about what a drag he is. Since he never fell in the potion, he isn't strong enough to carry around menhirs, and doesn't ever think to ask Panoramix for any. Hence he doesn't trade, he doesn't fight, he doesn't really have any friends. He hunts boar for himself and that's about it.

Astér knows he could easily capture him because he wouldn't resist, but rather just sort of accept it. However, since his moustache has since grown back, he's actually able to convince Obélix that he's not a legionary at all - just another Gaul, a friend of a cousin from his family in Lutecia, and oh won't you go back with me and help me with something something. It works. Obélix being a bit dumb is true in any universe.

From here, I'm not sure what might happen. I know Astér will begin to take him back to the legionary camp, and slowly they'll become friends. They'll meet Idéfix on the way, and Obélix, so pure of heart, will insist they keep him. Talks about how nice it is to have allies with you on big journeys. Astér has never heard anything like that before. He ends up taking detours, not wanting to actually turn Obélix in.

What I know is that the village Gauls definitely come for Obélix, and Astér is shocked because he didn't think there was such an intense amount of solidarity between them. I also know that Astér eventually writes to his garrison and pretends to be a group of bandits saying they've captured yer best warrior and he'll be dead in 3 days if ye don't come get him!. He means it as a way of faking his death so he doesn't have to go back. He's still upset when they don't come get him.

Astérix eventually moves to the indomitable village. He wants to be a warrior again, and maybe not do everything by himself anymore. And Obélix, inspired by Astérix's rants about how you really ought to stand up for yourself and you can't be walked over all the time and etc etc etc., agrees to try a bit of the potion. They sneak into the druid's house, same as canon. Astérix doesn't really know how the potion works, so he just tells Obélix to drink it all. Exactly what happened as a kid, happens again. All is right with the world.

[isgaydisaster]

Some shows, movies, and book recs <3

Got the idea from @ghostgirlinsatin !

Here you have a list of recommendations to watch instead of thinking in st4. Feel free to leave more in the comments!

Shows

Arcane: a great show with 3 main storylines that are intertwined and very complex characters. If you like to discover new societies and their structure, a new world with different but in some way similar rules to us. The rivalry between one and other side. The romance (sapphic romance) that grows between someone from one side and someone from the other. The family love that lives in the hearts of two sisters who will have to go through a lot. The curiosity of two inventors that want to create magic using science. There's a lot : an amazing story, more than well-written characters, beautiful animation... All in 9 episodes, streaming on Netflix. (No, you don't have to know anything about LOL to watch it. It just the background story of some of the characters).

The owl house: it's a Disney kind of show (it's streaming on Disney fr lol) with an amazing plot and characters that grow and learn. It's about a girl named Luz that feels like she doesn't fit in. Her mother wants yo send her to summer camp, but thanks to a fast owl, she ends up in a different dimension. It's very amphibia (there are references of that show in this show)- star vs the forces of evil like. And: there's a lot of representation. Dana Terrace (the creator) has fought a lot to bring this to disney, she's doing an incredible work with this story and she deserves the recognition for it. This story made me feel at home, it really makes my heart warm.

Anne with an e: a classic turned into a show that carried the story so incredibly. Even though netflix f*cking canceled the show (yk, what happens to good shows on netflix), there are 3 marvelous seasons to watch. It's one of the only cases where I find the show better than the book. I love the characters, the representation (and it doesn't feel forced or just for rep), and the focus in feminism. There are a variety of topics that are discussed on the show that are very important and I think it's a good tool to learn very good values.

She-ra and the princesses of power: this one right here is one of my favorites ever. I watch it every time I feel like shit for any reason. My comfort show. It's about a girl named Adora that lives in the Horde, who fights the princesses (again the two sides dynamic yes), and is enjoying her live with her best friend Catra until she gets lost in the woods and discovers something shocking (not a spoiler since is the intro): she's a princess. 5 wonderful seasons of friendship, betrayals, war, pure love, death... I love it more than anything :D (+ a lot of representation although some of it it's not explicit).

The wilds: to be honest I haven't finish it yet but so far (I have 3 episodes left to watch) it's being really good. A group of girls end up in a desert island because of an airplane crash and have to learn how to survive by themselves. In each episode you learn more about one specific but also a bit about the others. The background stories are amazing and the development these characters go through is my favorite thing in the world. We're waiting for the third season now, streaming on Amazon prime video. (+ very good and relatable representation).

Movies

Ladybird: if you have mommy issues, this is your movie. A teenager, wanting to move out of her house and study far away from it. Dreaming with her future, because she doesn't stand her present: she's very much poor. The end is so so so beautiful. I cried like a child, not gonna lie.

The Mitchells vs The machines: another great movie of daddy issues. Well, it's more than that: the story of a girl who wants to go to college so bad (she feels understood there) but when she's traveling with her family to get there, the machine apocalypse begins. A really fun movie to watch in family, with a lesbian main character :)

The fear street trilogy: I'm honestly not a big fan of horror, but these 3 movies got me. What an amazing story, which will keep you up thinking about it and making theories all the time, really good characters, romance (sapphic romance yaaasss), and good horror, not only jumpscares. They're long but not boring, and just talking about them makes me want to watch them again so I will. Link to part one, link to part two and link to part three.

Little women: again with a classic turned into a cinematographic masterpiece. Another movie that made me burst in tears. I love the story a lot, but I'd also like to highlight the incredible job of the cast. I have 2 scenes in mind that left me speechless. The story of an independent woman who returns home and remembers her life there: her adventures with her sisters, the neighbor and her mother. And that makes her wonder about her future too. It gave me the chills like a hundred times.

Turning red: one of my favorite movies of all time. It doesn't matter your age, you're going to love this movie. A teenage girl struggles not with puberty but with BEING A RED PANDA. It's a rollercoaster of emotions, really fun and entertaining. Plus, it teaches good values that stick with you after you watch it. And the characters are really well-written: finally someone portraits female pre-teenagers in a realistic and realatble way (thank you Domee Shi). Give it a try, you won't regret it.

And the whole marvel universe is something I enjoy watching/reading too.

Books

The Percy Jackson series: you have probably heard of it unless you live under a rock. I have read the main series and now I have to read more of this universe because it's huge and amazing. If you like Greek mythology, fantasy and adventure this is your series. Percy Jackson feels dumb in comparison to other children his age, hates her mother's stinky boyfriend and has a best friend with crutches. Would you believe me if I told you all of this is related to the fact that he's a semigod? Well, he is. And now he's accused of stealing Zeus' lightning. That's basically the plot of the first book. Fantastic book and series, honestly. Rick Riordan my king.

Enola Holmes: if you'd like to read a Sherlock Holmes type of story but with the main character being a woman, this is your series. I'm on the third book at the moment and it slaps. I love mystery novels, and if you do too I totally recommend.

Heartstopper-verse: Alice Oseman writes so good her characters. Her comics and books are the best, so if you like queer content in teenager media this is your place.

The girl on the train: really good thriller that keeps you reading all night. With mystery and very complex characters (you will probably hate most or all of them). A girl (can't remember her name right now and I have to go so can't search for it) watches people doing their lives every day when she sits on her couch in the train that takes her to her job. She imagines the names of those people, their jobs, their conversations. And, one day, she sees something weird happen just before everything goes to hell.

The seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo: Some people say it's not that good but this book reached to my core. It's not my favorite or close to it but it's really good. The story and how it's written, the characters and the message you get from the book is exquisite. Chef kiss. It's basically about a famous woman that hires a very confused reporter to write her story. Very moving and real. The supposed "plot-twist" wasn't that shocking for me though.

That's some I think are very good. Let me know what you thing and give me recommendations too if you want please <3

[bmo-galaxy]

Okay but what if they kissed?

But just imagine that Naruto and Sasuke kiss at the end. An honest to god, square on the lips, absolutely intentional kiss. A kiss they choose, a kiss on purpose, a kiss that isn't comic relief or shock value. A kiss to explain what drove Naruto forward all these years. The kind of kiss that shows that even now, even after it all, they choose each other and came back to each other and never, ever forgot. A kiss that’s a promise and a fresh start. 

Just imagine, if you will, for a moment that Sasuke tells him to shut up and Naruto peels himself from the rock, turning with fire in those blue eyes. The same way they burn before a fight, prepared and focused. Those blue eyes have always been Sasuke’s undoing, reflecting only the earnest truth. Every one of Naruto’s emotions is broadcast in those vast oceans. A strong, steady hand shoots out to fist in Sasuke’s shirt and raven is sure he's about to get headbutted again. Naruto wretches him up and leans real close and Sasuke is waiting for the crack and the pain. A pain that never comes.

The kiss isn't soft or sweet or sentimental. Its all sharp edges and teeth and desperation. A peak into Naruto’s soul, a glimpse at his pain, a taste of his anger. Just as quickly as it starts, the kiss is over. Naruto pulls away with a gasp, sapphire eyes fluttering open. All the fierceness and fury deflates from Naruto and the blonde’s shoulders sag. His fist is still gripping Sasuke’s shirt, but it loosens until it sits flat against the Uchiha’s chest, right over his heart. Eyes falling closed, Naruto basks in the steady beat against his palm. You’re alive, you’re alive, you’re alive and you’re here.

"You have no idea how long I've waited to do that," Naruto admits this in a husky whisper before he can stop himself. Disbelief colors his tone and the blonde shakes his head like he can't believe this is happening. “This is like a dream,” he continues, still quiet and heartfelt. A part of the blonde is embarrassed and wishes he would shut up, but Naruto is just too tired. Mind, body, soul; every bit of him is exhausted, but more than anything, Naruto is weak with relief. Leaving his tongue loose and his inhibitions lowered. 

Sasuke struggles for words, struggles to breathe, struggles to understand. Where was the strike, the anger, the hatred for everything Sasuke has done? Why does Naruto look so fucking happy? Bloodied, mangled, black and blue and beaten. Sasuke will never apologize for his actions, standing by hatred for the Leaf and his dedication to his late brother. Naruto, though... 

Naruto, who followed him to the ends of the earth. Naruto, who never gave up on him, even when everyone around him did. Naruto, who stood up to him over and over, proudly proclaiming to be his friend every single time. Naruto, who was prepared to lose his dream, his home, his life; and was prepared to do so smiling, just happy to have a future with Sasuke. 

Why, Naruto? Sasuke implores silently, watching happy tears streak down the blonde’s cheeks. Why, why, why, why--

"Why?" Is all that Sasuke can think and all he can get past his lips. The one great mystery: why would someone like Naruto, now surrounded by love and praise, chase after Sasuke so relentlessly, the one person determined to cut their ties entirely? Naruto looks up at him with sparkling, vast blue eyes that don't hide anything. A clear, cloudless sky. Every corner of Naruto is laid bare in front of Sasuke, who resists the urge to turn away. Those damn blue eyes have always been Sasuke’s undoing, the one thing consistently able to shakes Sasuke’s resolve and fill him with yearning. 

"Don't make me repeat myself, you know why," Naruto chuckles, bashful and blushing now. He scratches his cheek and glances away. "I figure that made it pretty obvious."

Sasuke almost smiles, almost relents his intense stare, because he does know. Far as he tried to run from the truth, he does know why Naruto did all of that. Just like he knows why he was never truly able to sever their connection. Sasuke needs to hear it though, needs to hear the truth he's known for years and years. Why would Naruto do any of it other than-- than-- than--

"Why, Naruto?" And the blonde can tell that the raven is asking about much more than the kiss. Sasuke is asking about everything and Naruto only has one answer for that question. Naruto’s flush darkens, the anticipation and passion and intensity in Sasuke’s gaze is setting the blonde on fire. A wild, uncontainable hope flares in the fox’s chest, seeing all of his own desires reflected in Sasuke’s eyes. 

And Naruto would swallow thickly and say the three words he's always held in his heart, always believed in, always protected against anything.

"I love you," Naruto whispers and Sasuke’s heart stops, time stops, everything stops. There’s only Naruto and his burning sapphire eyes. "I love you, Sasuke. That’s why. That’s-- That’s always been why."

It’s the answer Sasuke expects and knows is coming but somehow still knocks the breath from the raven. There it is, the undeniable truth neither had ever uttered out loud. The truth Sasuke hid from. The truth Naruto never let disappear. Against all odds and by some miracle, Naruto loves him. 

Naruto loves me, Naruto loves me, Naruto loves me.

"I love you," Sasuke says like a prayer, whispered on the edge of his breath. Uttering the confession makes him feel faintly lightheaded and a breathless chuckle slips from his lips. "I'm sorry it took so long."

Naruto laughs, high and clear and beautiful. A pure sound that kisses Sasuke’s ears and soothes his soul. For a second, in this moment, everything feels alright. Naruto punches his shoulder gently, a fond and affection gesture that’s nothing like the blows they traded an hour ago. 

“I really must have rocked your shit for you to be apologizing to me,” the orange ninja teases, smiling brightly. Sasuke rolls his eyes at the comment, shaking his head slowly. Everything is different but nothing has changed. This is still comfortable, familiar, soothing. As if no time has passed at all. 

“I’ll make one exception, don’t get used to it,” he needles back. Naruto copies his eyeroll and fights down a giggle. There’s a beat of silence, a moment to bask in the glow. Everything they need is here and even though wounds ache, neither is rushing to locate their comrades. They’ll find us eventually, they both think silently, content to enjoy their moment alone. Naruto scoots a little nearer and Sasuke leans a little closer. One shaking, hesitant arm reaches out to wrap around Sasuke’s waist. The raven haired nin stills initially, survival instinct telling him to run run run before he gets hurt, or overtaken, or killed.

Naruto doesn't hurt him though. Despite everything, in spite of everything, Naruto never hurts Sasuke. Naruto is safe, gentle warmth. Even his heaviest blows somehow felt like a fond caress. Naruto is just good, plain and simple. So, the raven relaxes into the embrace and wraps his arm around Naruto too. The embrace is awkward and sticky, both are covered in grime and sweat and blood, but they don't care. Trembling fingers cling desperately. Tear streaked faces press into necks and shoulders. Their last and first embrace, a new dawn breaking over them. Naruto’s mouth finds Sasuke’s ear and the blonde’s voice warms and deepens with all of his love and gratitude and relief.

"Welcome home, Sasuke."

A sob rises, rises, rises in Sasuke’s chest but he swallows hard to keep it down. It’s easy to remember the last person to say those words to him, easy to imagine his mother in the kitchen as he leaves for school. Everything has been darkness from that day, broken up by brief, startling moments of light. Moments with Naruto, working as a three man team and growing together. The dawn has broken and the warmth of Naruto’s sun is a beacon in the shadows, a breath of hope and fresh air after a long winter underground. 

"I'm home," Sasuke replies because it’s true. Naruto is home. Not his first one, but certainly his last. 

[swanlake1998]

Article: The Unbearable Whiteness of Ballet

Date: April 22, 2021

By: Chloe Angyal

In an exclusive excerpt from her new book Turning Pointe, contributing editor Chloe Angyal lays out the ways that white supremacy is embedded in ballet's most basic foundations.

Wilmara Manuel and her 11-year-old daughter, Sasha, were at the world finals of a ballet competition, the Youth America Grand Prix, in 2015 when it happened. Shortly before the competition began, the young dancers were on the performance stage with their parents, warming up and preparing to dance the solos they’d been rehearsing for months.

As Wilmara, who is Black and originally from Haiti, and Sasha, who is biracial, stood there, a young white dancer looked around the stage, checking out the competition. “And her eyes land on Sasha,” Wilmara remembers, “and I saw her look [Sasha] up and down, and then look at her mom.

“And her mom said, ‘Don’t worry. They’re never really good anyway.’ ”

Wilmara did her best to contain her shock. Sasha didn’t hear what the white mom had said, and Wilmara wasn’t about to tell her, because “that’s not the thing I want to discuss 10 minutes before she takes the stage.” But Sasha could sense that something was amiss. “Just the look on my face, she was like, ‘What? What happened? What did she say?’ ” Wilmara brushed her daughter off.

Don’t worry. They’re never really good anyway. An entire worldview of white resentment of Black progress and excellence passed quietly from mother to child in just seven words.

That white mother could not fathom that Sasha, a biracial child with a Black mother, might be really good—as in very good, or truly good—at a traditionally white art form at which her child was presumably also quite proficient. She could not imagine that Sasha might deserve to be at that competition, might have qualified on her merit—her talent and skill and persistence—rather than because of what she might consider a misguided or even unjust attempt to diversify ballet by lowering standards. They’re not really good, but they are allowed to be here. In this space that is rightfully yours, in this art form that is rightfully yours. They’re never as good as the white girls, a sweeping generalization that grants no individuality, no humanity, to any nonwhite dancer. They’re all the same, and they never deserve to be here. But don’t worry. Your excellence is a given. You belong here, while their presence is conditional or even ill-gotten.

A few minutes later, Sasha took the stage and performed her solo. She ended up placing ahead of that white dancer.

From then on, Wilmara traveled with Sasha to every competition, paying the additional travel costs to make sure that, if something like that ever happened again, she’d be there to support her daughter.

“That has stuck with me,” she says. “And it’s one of the reasons I make the sacrifice and I go with her everywhere. Even if there are others going, I feel like I need to be around should comments like that pop up. I just don’t feel like I can take that chance, you know? And what cracks me up is that . . . she doesn’t even look as dark as I do, which makes me feel like, ‘Oh my God, if you were darker, like, what else?’ ”

Sasha grew up in a suburb of Indianapolis and is now 16. She trains at the Royal Ballet School in London, an exclusive training ground that serves as a feeder school for the Royal Ballet. It’s widely acknowledged to be one of the best ballet schools in the world.

Wilmara says that people often express their surprise at the quality of Sasha’s training and technique. “Oh wow, you’re really good,” Wilmara says by way of example. “Where do you train? Have you been dancing for a long time?” She says that while she tries to give these white people the benefit of the doubt, she knows what they usually mean, and she’d prefer they just come out and say it: “I’m surprised you’re that good. You’re Black and you’re dancing and you’re good.”

Now that Sasha is a little older, Wilmara talks to her about the racist assumptions embedded in those surprised comments. “You know she’s asking because she doesn’t think a person of your color can do this,” she’s told Sasha, who now “gets it when she hears that tone of voice.”

And, she says, she’s been frank with her daughter about the kind of resistance she should expect from the overwhelmingly white ballet establishment if she keeps excelling—which she shows every sign of doing.

It’s moms who do the bulk of the work of ballet parenting: the sewing of costumes, the schedule keeping for rehearsals and recitals. And when you’re a ballet mom to a dancer of color, there’s an even higher price to pay.

“Not everybody’s gonna be thrilled,” Wilmara says, paraphrasing her conversations with Sasha. “Even if you’re not a dancer of color, it’s cutthroat. And on top of that, you are a dancer of color, and so that poses another threat in some ways. So you have to be mindful of your things and what you are doing, and know what things are okay, and [pay attention to] when you are uncomfortable.”

This emotional labor, the work of helping young dancers understand what “that tone of voice” means and why it’s being used—or the work of deciding whether to tell your child about the racist remark you just overheard or absorb it yourself and shield them from it—is a part of parenting not demanded of mothers of white dancers.

Then there���s the payment in time and money required of Wilmara to make sure that Sasha’s ballet experience is as fair and worry-free as possible. Once, at a competition, Wilmara forgot to color in the “nude” pale pink straps on one of Sasha’s competition costumes. Wilmara scrambled to find brown foundation because none of the vendors at the competition had a leotard in Sasha’s skin color.

“Come on, people, you are here,” Wilmara remembers thinking. “There may not be that many [dancers of color], but they are all here and you should be able to bring various shades of nude leos.”

Succeeding in ballet, or even just surviving, requires extra talent, extra work, extra resilience, and extra sacrifices from dancers of color, especially Black and brown dancers, and their parents. White ballet moms might have to talk to their white daughters about how cutthroat ballet is. But they don’t need to issue additional warnings about how a white girl’s success will be received by that cutthroat culture, because almost all the successful girls and women in ballet are white.

“They’ve had to grow up a lot faster,” Wilmara says of Black and brown ballet dancers. “I think the ballet world makes you grow up a lot faster, but on top of that,” there are the “extra hurdles that other dancers don’t have to think about.” There are the overtly racist comments backstage before a performance and the subtly racist “compliments” after. There is time spent frantically searching for the right leotard or adapting the default pink leotard. There is the knowledge, internalized first by parents and then by their kids, that if you make it over all those hurdles your success will be viewed with suspicion and resentment—that ballet does not have a “diversity” problem; it has a white supremacy problem.

“Our kids,” Wilmara says, “are thinking about this and thinking about it early on.”

The organizing principle of ballet—of training, of performance, of making a ballet body—is control. Control of your rigid torso while your foot shoots upward from the hip in a battement. Control of a silent and compliant class of otherwise giggly 9-year-old girls. “The traditional and classical Europeanist aesthetic for the dancing body is dominated and ruled by the erect spine,” wrote dance scholar Brenda Dixon Gottschild in her landmark book The Black Dancing Body. “Verticality is a prime value, with the torso held erect, knees straight, body in vertical alignment. . . . The torso is held still.”

It all demands control. Control of your smiling face as your feet scream in your pointe shoes at the end of a long pas de deux. Control of your weight, of your turnout, of your stretched and strengthened feet that now arch into a shape no ordinary foot can make. “The ballet audience, attuned and habituated to view control as a prime value, applaud its display and are embarrassed when it isn’t fulfilled,” Gottschild wrote.

Discipline, order, adherence to strict and unquestioned rules. That’s what ballet is. When Gottschild asked Seán Curran, a white dancer and choreographer who performed with the Bill T. Jones/Arnie Zane Company, what he pictured when he thought of white dance or white dancing bodies, he said, “Upright. . . . For some reason, ‘proper’ stuck in the head a bit, something that is built and made and constructed rather than is free or flows.” A body that is rigid, obedient, and disciplined, remade from something natural and unruly into something refined and well behaved. Proper. “Whiteness,” Curran said, “values precision and unison.”

Curran’s assessment identifies a central underlying prejudice of white supremacy: the belief that people of color, and their bodies, are wild. Uncivilized, animalistic, subhuman. That white people—who, by contrast, are assumed to be organized and civilized—have both a right and a responsibility to tame that which is untamed and impose order, precision, and unison on it. To suppress and control that which is savage; to press it into something that approaches whiteness but will never be truly white and thus never truly equal.

This is the logic that underpinned white colonization and American slavery. It is also the logic that makes racial segregation possible: that which is pure and organized must be kept separate from that which is profane and undisciplined. And central to this worldview is the idea that the work of white supremacy is unending, not because white supremacy is flawed, but because the very people it seeks to suppress are inherently inferior, naturally incapable of complying. Because of some inborn lack—of will, of understanding, of discipline—people of color will never fully obey, never properly assimilate, never be redeemed by whiteness. In this way, white supremacy perpetuates itself, justifying both its worldview and the permanent need for its existence.

It’s little wonder, then, that ballet—with its fixation on control, discipline, and uprightness—wraps itself so neatly around whiteness. It makes sense that white Americans, reared on the belief that whiteness is synonymous with order and refinement, also believe that people of color have no place, or a limited place, or a conditional place, in classical ballet.

Furthermore, it is easy to see how the ideal ballet body—so controlled, so upright—is everything that white supremacy imagines a Black body is not. And because of deeply ingrained American cultural associations with musculature, loose movement, brute force, and untamed sexuality, the Black body is believed to be everything a ballet body is not permitted to be.

“When we talk about the ballerina,” says Theresa Ruth Howard, a former dancer and a teacher, diversity strategist, and the founder and curator of the digital ballet history archive Memoirs of Blacks in Ballet (MoBBallet), “we’re talking about the ideal, our stereotype of the desirable woman, and that is reserved for white women.”

Howard has made a career of helping the people who run ballet companies and schools to examine their ideas about what makes for a “good” ballet body, asking them to question their biases about the inherent fitness of white bodies and unfitness of other bodies, especially Black bodies. She says that long-standing racist tropes about Black women’s bodies make Blackness and ballerinas seem antithetical.

“You have the trope of either the jezebel, the mammy, or the workhorse of the Black woman,” which are incompatible with desirability, fragility, and sexual purity, the ideal of white womanhood at the heart of the ballerina’s appeal.

“She’s desired. It’s the epitome of beauty, of grace, of elegance, and these are not adjectives that are assigned to Black women,” Howard says. “Especially not darker-skinned Black women. This is why the closer you look to the white European aesthetic as a Black woman, the better chance you have at occupying that role. Especially at a higher level.”

Despite the long tradition of Latin American dancers carving out successful professional careers in the U.S. and the enormous success of Misty Copeland—a light-skinned Black dancer whose ascent to the pinnacle of American ballet was a watershed moment for Black dancers and audiences alike—the archetypal ballerina is still a pale-skinned white woman with slender limbs, negligible breasts and hips, and long, sleek hair. In the American cultural imagination, the ballerina is still white.

George Balanchine famously said that “ballet is woman,” but that’s not the whole truth. Ballet is white woman, or, perhaps more precisely, white womanhood. Ballet is a stronghold of white womanhood, a place where whiteness is the default and white femininity reigns supreme.

Excerpted from Turning Pointe: How a New Generation of Dancers Is Saving Ballet from Itself by Chloe Angyal. Copyright © 2021. Available from Bold Type Books, an imprint of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

[kittymsmithwritesstuff]

Can we have some soft Moira headcanons pls? I'm so sick of seeing her done so dirty when people make Blackwatch/Talon posts

I can’t say I know too much about how people portray Moira on Tumblr but she for sure needs more soft content. Bless for the ask.

-Deeply values her family. Above almost all else-the only thing greater is scientific achievement. What that means exactly is she will never do something that could directly harm her family, but they can’t stop her from chasing scientific breakthroughs, even if it could end in her demise.

-Prefers Murphey’s over Guinness.

-Has a large collection of candles of all different scents and lights different ones depending on her mood.

-By large I mean very large.

-I mean this woman could get candles for birthday, Christmas and Easter every year for the next decade and be pretty fucking satisfied.

-Where does she find the room? That's up to God.

-Has books stored in little corners wherever she frequents. Various places in her house-bathroom, kitchen, living, bedroom, office, all different-as well as at work. She’s a fan of classics, especially classic Irish authors like Oscar Wilde, but she is fond of American classics as well. She has no idea why.

-She is always on the hunt for someone that can have a decent conversation about that classic literature.

-She pretends she’s not as into shoujo manga as she is.

-Has “comfort animes” she plays in the background if she’s working at home. Usually inoffensive, wacky romance/slice of life.

-She had a crush on Haruhi Fujioka growing up.

-Raised Catholic and still practices to some extent. She's not sure entirely if she believes in God, she believes in something beyond the realm of explanation, but the religious practices of her youth give her a great amount of comfort when she's so far from Dublin.

-She likes thick soft things, like blankets that you can lose your hands in.

-She loves shock value humor. Her persona at work is not exactly inaccurate, but she might play it up just a bit so that anything “out of character” has that extra punch. She also says enough weird shit no one is ever sure whether or not she’s being serious.

-Good at poker, bad at blackjack (she overthinks it)

-She values her alone time but she doesn’t like being totally isolated-she doesn’t exactly need human interaction but she likes to have a human presence, like a roommate in the other room type of deal. There have been times when she could afford to live alone but got a roommate purely for this purpose.

-Is really good with kids.

-Dogs like her.

-Bangs head on doorframes more than she’ll readily admit.

-Approaches everything as fresh-faced as she can, so to speak-she tries not to judge people off appearance but rather action, and, to a degree, whatever knowledge she has of them previously. It’s benefitted her a lot in life.

-Probably eats too much red meat. Cannot be paid to care.

-Somewhat clueless about video games, hasn’t had the time to look into them further but finds them fascinating.

-She’s the kinda person that will pout and give puppy eyes to a romantic partner to get them back into bed.

-Alarms hold no power over her.

[exploraer]

some important notes about how I’ll be portraying/perceiving nikolai:

he has antisocial personality disorder (aspd). there are several signs and characteristics nikolai exhibits in both the game and the RE3 s.d. perry novelization, both of which are the basis/influences for my portrayal of him, that support that he has aspd. most notably, he does not show regard for the rights, feelings and emotions of those around him, and he does not see the difference between right and wrong. in his mind, the most efficient option is the best option; this often involves killing anyone who stands in the way of his goal or objective, even if there are other options that allow him to achieve what he wants without killing. he will always take the most efficient and effective route to get what he wants.

I am constantly researching aspd as someone who does not have it, and I want to avoid demonizing aspd as a whole as well as the people who have aspd, because it is a heavily stigmatized personality disorder (as are most cluster b personality disorders). 

I will never refer to nikolai as a monster or a demon, etc.; he does terrible things and this is because he has never been forced to self-reflect or look deeper into why he does the things that he does. likewise, his life has been marked heavily by war and he has always received praise and recognition for being an efficient and ruthless soldier. he associates his behaviors and traits as a good thing and doesn’t understand why anyone would see these as a negative.

he only keeps people around if they are of some use to him, and any display of caring for someone or being empathetic is purely superficial. he’s low empathy and doesn’t see his lack of being able to relate to others emotionally as a negative or bad thing. per the s.d. perry novelization:

but nothing bothers me, and I never hesitate to do what needs to be done, no matter how it is perceived by others' what's so terrible about that?

additionally, in the book he states that he always wins in a fight because “having no conscious” sets him free and allows him to do whatever needs to be done to get the job done and that this should be considered an asset.

there's a part of the novelization where nikolai shoots mikhail from a distance, gets very annoyed when he survives and leads him on a wild goose chase to the parking garage of the RPD, feigns concern when he encounters him again and is about to kill him when carlos shows up. nikolai gets extremely put off by this derailment of his plans, before adjusting them to show more concern, fool mikhail and carlos into thinking he’s their ally, and speculates on when would be the best time to kill both of them. everyone around him is a means to an end and will be treated as such.

additionally, he frequently introspects on why he hasn’t killed carlos, mikhail and jill yet, and concludes that it’s because they A. aren’t worth wasting the ammo/his time, and B. they’re only alive because he has allowed it, and not because he perceives them as a legitimate threat.

when things do not go according to his plans or how he wants them/expects them to go, he experiences extremely violent outbursts. in the novelizations, he goes as far as to draw out murdering watchdogs when they are either uncooperative or are late to their checkpoints, he repeatedly stomps on zombies’ heads well after they’re dead dead until he feels in control again, etc. nikolai feeling like he’s losing control is a very dangerous thing and he becomes unpredictable at best. be warned.

this goes without saying but I also fully reject all r*pey shit in the novelization because there was really no purpose for it other than shock value to say “hey he’s a bad guy!” as if being comfortable with murdering people he didn’t have to and making it into a multi-layered sport/game of sorts didn’t already do that

I cannot stress enough that nikolai only cares about himself. I am not interested in redemption arcs, I am not interested in anyone “fixing” him. he was too far gone well before raccoon city happened, and trying to redeem him is a disservice. likewise, shipping is not a focus on him and this is not going to change.

[pumpkinspice-prouvaire]

(i have no idea what killing eve is but no less than 5 of my favorite people genuinely seemed moved to commit crimes over it?? what. happened???? what did they do to you all???)

ohohoho hope you're ready for a rant. I know very little about screenwriting but what I do know is that I am a n g r y. 

answer under the cut for major spoilers for the killing eve season 4 finale

the short answer is they buried their gays

the long answer is that they spent four seasons building up an incredible wlw relationship with two actors who have some of the best chemistry I have ever seen. In the last episode of the series, they finally gave us what they wanted and had Villanelle and Eve start a relationship, with one of the most tender first kisses I have ever seen (this scene makes me insane I only saw it for the first time last night but it has been on a constant loop in my brain ever since). They also managed to wrap up all their storylines, the big bad was kiled off, all the characters had their arcs completed, all good. 

And then, literally in the last thirty seconds of the episode, they bury their gays by killing off Villanelle

And I’m just like?????????????? What does this achieve????????? It doesn’t add anything??????? The story is finished, so it’s not going to have any impact on wrapping up anyone’s arcs, and doesn’t tie up any loose ends. It’s the last thirty seconds of the entire show, so there’s no time for any sort of character work, we’re not going to see how Eve copes without having Villanelle in her life anymore, or how losing the woman she loves after finally getting her will impact her and her future, because again, IT HAPPENED IN THE LAST THIRTY SECONDS. It tells us nothing, it adds nothing, it was so obviously done purely for shock value, and as well as being insulting to the audience, it speaks to a lack of confidence in your own writing, because do you think the episode isn’t good enough on its own without having this wild ‘twist’ at the end? 

What makes it worse is that it didn’t need a twist. Like, I cannot express enough that having Eve and Villanelle escape from the big bad and run away together, which is what was implied would happen, is exactly what I wanted from the ending. Like, having it right there and then having it taken away in the LAST THIRTY SECONDS FOR SHOCK VALUE, is just............A really shitty way to end my favourite tv show of all time. As my roommate said when we watched it, why are writers today so against giving anything a happy ending? There is absolutely nothing wrong with the final episode until the last 10 minutes, and when I rewatch it I will be turning off at the 30 minute mark. It’s insulting to the audience, it’s insulting to Sandra Oh and Jodie Comer (and from what I’ve heard they’ve made in subtly clear that they’re not happy with the ending), it’s insulting to all the writers who worked so hard to subtly build this relationship in the previous 3 series. 

TLDR it was an unnecessary sucky ending, thanks, I hate it.

this absolutely does not explain in any way what Killing Eve is lol, but even with all that said, I cannot recommend this show enough, it is my favourite tv show of all time and it’s an incredible watch. Just for the love of God when you get to series 4 episode 8 turn off at 35 minutes

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 289: Looks Like the Gang’s All Here

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “you guys don’t really need to know what’s gonna happen to Deku and Shouto right now” and cut away to Toga and Ochako before anyone could get a word in. Skeptic utilized the power of Freak Shounen Coincidence to magically zero in on Ochako and Tsuyu amongst the fleeing crowd. Toga was all “IS THAT OCHAKO” and immediately leaped down to fight them, ignoring Spinner’s heartfelt speeches about Villain Found Family because fight now, hug later!! Down in the streets of some unidentified crumbling city, Ochako was approached by a sweet old lady and was all “I better help this sweet old lady who is definitely not leading me into a trap”, which unfortunately turned out to be poor decision-making on her part. Anyway so now she and Toga are going to throw down. AND ALSO, P.S., BEST JEANIST IS STILL ALIVE, and that doesn’t really have anything to do with anything right now, but BY GOLLY I JUST HAD TO SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS.

Today on BnHA: Iida and Hadou are all “is it our turn yet”, and Horikoshi is all “yes”, and so the two of them finally burst onto the scene and are all “hello Shouto, Gigantomachia is on his way, btw do you need help” and so they all get ready to fight Tomura together. Meanwhile in Unnamed Ochako And Toga Fight Town, Toga is all “what’s up Ochako, oh is this the All Might doll Deku gave you, I guess you must like Deku as well, just like me, we truly are the same, btw I can use other people’s quirks now” before she vanishes in a flurry of knives and ambiguity, as mysteriously as she came. So that’s a thing that happened. The chapter ends with Gigantomachia and the League STOMPIN’ ONTO THE SCENE, JUST IN TIME FOR ENDEAVOR TO WAKE UP AND BE ALL “OHHHHH SHIT.” YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT, “OH SHIT.” Finally the pieces are in place for Dabi to reveal his true identity to Hadou and Iida, JUST LIKE WE ALL EXPECTED.

before I start, thank you so much to everyone who sent birthday messages on Wednesday!! I had a good day; my quarantine impulse purchase guitar that I ordered months ago but had been backordered finally arrived, and so now I can do something productive with my time as I continue to while away these months in isolation! not to say that capslocking over fictional characters and their shounen escapades doesn’t also count as being productive lmao. anyways, my fingers hurt so typing is kind of a bitch right now, but I’m having fun still. IF KAMINARI CAN DO IT THEN SO CAN I

anyway so let’s see what mishaps my various catastrophe-prone children are getting up to this week

okay there are several things happening in this panel which I want to comment on

IIDA!!!

HADOU!!!

“some time after” jesus fucking christ though, how long have Deku and the rest actually been fighting?? like it’s absolutely absurd to imagine that they’ve been managing to hold off Tomura for more than a few minutes, and yet everything we’ve seen these last couple of chapters suggests that this is indeed the case. which is just pure insanity tbh. excuse me sir, but I have an emotionally maturing son, a homewrecking grandpa, and a sleep-deprived one-legged platonic husband who are all in DIRE NEED of medical attention just FYI

lastly, I direct your attention to these two cool cats in the background who are both riding on hover surfboards. living it up like it’s Back to the Future. why are there two of them. do they both just happen to have the exact same quirk. what are the odds. ARE THEY TWINS. I want to know everything about them dammit

anyway so Hadou is asking Iida why he’s tagging along, because unlike the others, he can’t fly and is thus vulnerable to Tomura’s attacks and such

well Hadou I’ll have you know that it his DUTY AS THE CLASS PRESIDENT to tag along and THAT’S WHY

oh shit you guys IIDA SAID “FUCK THE LAW”

“plus Bakugou-kun, whom I am not particularly close to, but nonetheless hold nothing personal against!” well uh, kind of a weird distinction to make there bro, but okay. listen everyone, it’s a tense situation; if Iida feels the need to clarify the ins and outs of his interpersonal relationships with each of the people he’s rescuing then please just respect that okay

anyways though have I mentioned how much I fucking love Iida Tenya though you guys. feels like I haven’t mentioned that enough. I LOVE HIM. there

FINALLY

AFTER THREE WHOLE WEEKS WE FINALLY CUT BACK. OH MY GOD. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG OF A TIME THAT IS TO BE HOLDING YOUR BREATH. [EXHALES]

is it bad that my immediate reaction to this page was A LOT OF LAUGHING, though. fkldlksh this entire situation is SO ABJECTLY TERRIBLE that if I were Shouto I would almost be fighting the urge to look around for a hidden camera at this point. ASHTON KUTCHER WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING HERE. OH THANK GOD, IT WAS ALL JUST A PRANK

anyway so uh. heh. how screwed are we at this point, exactly. oh and also, whose speech bubbles are these. who the fuck would look at this situation and these bleeding children and say “HA!” what kind of monster. just ignore that paragraph right before this one please

OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT

TOMURA I CANNOT BELIEVE I’M SAYING THIS, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO AFO FOR ONCE AND JUST LEAVE

pretty please. we kind of have a situation here. not that I wouldn’t love to see what this icy flamey boi could do if push came to shove, but I also have had just about enough of watching children get maimed for today though

OH SHIT

THE TIMING OF THIS MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE AT ALL BUT I DO NOT CARE!! THE CAVALRY HAS ARRIVED THANK GOD

“WHAT UP GUYS, WE BROUGHT YOU SOME TERRIBLE NEWS” FKLSHLKHLK

WELL GEE IIDA THANKS SO FUCKING MUCH!!

lmaoooo a wild Lida has been spotted what the fuck is this translation though

I don’t know which is better, the “Lida” (DO YOU EVEN READ THE SERIES BRO), or the “CHRIST” gkfhkg. CLASSIC LIDA

OH SNAP HADOU

sobbing at Manual cradling the still-warm corpse of Gran Torino like a tiny baby khlk;h. BUT ANYWAYS HADOU SAW HER TEACHER ALL BLOODIED UP AND IS READY TO THROW DOWN, YESSSSS, THE MY LADIES ACADEMIA ARC CONTINUES

(ETA: listen you guys, there were many things at the end of this chapter that brought me joy, but perhaps none more than the inclusion of Hadou in the final two page spread looking all serious alongside the Todorokis, as if she has any fucking clue at all wtf is going on slfkhlkhgghsl. what I wouldn’t give to see her and Deku and Iida all making frantic bewildered eye contact at each other throughout the next chapter lmao.)

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT DEKU

ARE YOU PROPPING YOURSELF UP WITH YOUR ARM THAT’S IN SPLINTERS, I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE YOU RIGHT NOW. SOMEONE PLEASE SLAP SOME SENSE INTO THIS CHILD. SIT YOUR ASS DOWN

LMAO TODO’S READY TO TAKE AFOMURA ON. THE SHARED HERO BRAINCELL HAS ALREADY EXPIRED. FUCK IT LET’S DO THIS

“true, I already watched him murder my dad, my boyfriend, my other boyfriend, my teacher, and dozens of other people, but gosh darn it, I just feel like the fifteenth time’s the charm you guys.” shit, I ain’t even mad. who’s up for yet another episode of Todoroki Shouto Attempts to Murder a Bitch

-- “TIME TO CUT AWAY!!” laughs Horikoshi as he gleefully dodges out of reach before I can punch him, that SON OF A --

goddammit. you’re just lucky that I’m invested in the girl power fight too

YESSSSS OCHAKO

DON’T BE SORRY FOR KICKING ASS! NEVER BE SORRY FOR KICKING ASS

damn, looks like she managed to touch Toga’s shirt but not Toga herself. both of them are so fast

now Toga is monologuing from the shadows

we’ve all been there, Toga. sometimes you see someone you really like and it’s just like, ahhhhhh gotta kill them am I right

lol I love Toga so much you guys, but I’m also kind of wincing in anticipation of whatever essays are gonna materialize out of the fandom this week explaining how hero society has failed her utterly and she is just a victim here. CAN YOU NOT SEE HOW SHE JUST WANTED FREEDOM TO BE HERSELF AND MURDER A BUNCH OF PEOPLE flhkklhl

OH SNAP SHE WENT AND TOLD HER THE THING!!

and it was fucking awesome and scary as shit, Ochako. like damn, still sends a chill up my spine just thinking about it

anyway so now Toga is continuing to explain that she can use the quirks of whoever she transforms into

and Ochako is kind of freaking out, which I don’t blame her for, since it’s probably really upsetting to hear that your stolen blood and quirk were used to murder a bunch of people. shit

so now she’s all “WTF WHY WOULD YOU EVEN TELL ME THAT”

??? was this somehow the wrong answer?

for fuck’s sake. Toga you literally came down here to ask her if she would be willing to kill you, and here she is telling you “I would never be happy about killing someone, that’s fucked up”, and you’re all “......”

like come on though, what else do you want her to say?? and why does Ochako look so shocked now

OOP

LMAO

THEIR FACES DKSLHFKG. TOGA NO THAT IS MEAN. and jesus christ Ochako it’s just a toy. I know it has Sentimental Value and shit but is this really the thing to be getting distracted about right now

FOR FUCK’S SAKE

JIN-KUN WHOM OCHAKO HAS NEVER FUCKING MET?? THAT JIN-KUN??!

OM NOM NOM

this entire confrontation makes absolutely zero sense to me you guys. just. Horikoshi was all, “this is the kind of stuff girls talk about when they’re battling to the death, right?” just, are you okay my dude

anyway so Toga has somehow deduced that Ochako got the doll from Deku, which means that she and Ochako are exactly alike in every way, and this is somehow an important plot point, and now they’re finally getting back to the fight lulz

OH SHIT

OCHAKO BOUT TO SLAP THE SHIT OUT TOGA WITH THIS BOOKCASE ON A STRING AND THIS LOUIS BAG OH FUCK

so now Toga’s all excited and she’s all “THERE’S SOMETHING I OUGHT TO TELL YOU, I’M NOT LEFT HANDED EITHER” oh snap

fuck, it almost feels like she’s trying to warn her. Ochako idk maybe you should run shit I do not like this ( ﾟдﾟ)

but of course she is not running, and she’s all “I’ll have you take responsibility for your actions”

HEY NOW

WHAT IS FUCKING HAPPENING, DID TOGA JUST FUCKING MURDER TSUYU, WHAT THE FUCK. I AM TERRIFIED, I DON’T WANT TO SCROLL DOWN, SHE THREW LIKE FOURTEEN KNIVES INTO THE DARKNESS, WHAT THE FUCK

OH

IT’S POSSIBLE THAT I MAY HAVE OVERREACTED

so did Toga just Swip a bunch of knives for no reason and then abscond, lol what. CAN ANYBODY PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THE PURPOSE OF THAT ENTIRE SCENE WAS. ASIDE FROM GETTING TO SEE OCHAKO TRY AND YEET A BOOKCASE AT SOMEONE

fuck, she was crying??

DID MY GIRL TOGA JUST KILL AN OLD WOMAN, NAKEDLY LURE OCHAKO INTO A BUILDING, ANTAGONIZE HER INTO SAYING “I’LL MAKE YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR KILLING A BUNCH OF PEOPLE JUST BECAUSE YOU FELT LIKE IT”, STEAL HER DOLL, GIVE HER DOLL BACK, TELL HER “OH SO YOU LIKE DEKU TOO HUH? BTW I CAN USE OTHER PEOPLE’S QUIRKS”, AND THEN RUN AWAY CRYING??? BRUH

-- OH SHIT, OH FUCK

[SIRENS BLARING WILDLY] [AUDIENCE LEAPING OUT OF THEIR SEATS] [T-SHIRT CANNONS BOOMING IN THE AIR] [VIKING WAR HORN SOUNDS IN THE DISTANCE] FUUUUUUUUUCK

well never the fuck mind about Ochako and Toga and WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT ALL WAS SUPPOSED TO BE, I guess, BECAUSE!! MACHIA MADNESS HAS ARRIVED. SPEARS SHALL BE SHAKEN!!! SHIELDS SHALL BE SPLINTERED!!

AND LOOK WHO WOKE UP FROM HIS NUMBER ONE HERO BEAUTY NAP RIGHT ON CUE, TOO!!! ATTENTION ALL PASSENGERS... IIIIIIIIIIT’S TOUYA TIMEEEEEEEE

[silverhart-makes-art]

I just finished reading What Once Was Mine! Gotta say, I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. It was a wild, fun little romp. I ended up having a lot to say about it, so prepare for some rambling thoughts. I’ve tried to avoid any major spoilers, but if you’d rather read the story completely blind, you’ll want to skip over this.

I’ve never read one of the Twisted Tales books before, so I’m not sure what my expectations were going in. The story is basically that Rapunzel’s hair has death powers instead of healing powers, which is the reason she’s hidden away. As a premise for a story it’s definitely a good one. She escapes her tower, meeting Gina and Flynn and the three of them (four with Pascal) try to avoid capture by all the people who are after Rapunzel to use her as a weapon. Along the way she learns more about her powers, falls in love with Eugene, gets into scrapes, makes friends with some goats. Standard fantasy novel stuff. Mother Gothel is there, as vain and manipulative as ever, but we also have a new bigger baddie thrown into the mix. It was fun to see Rapunzel go up against a more outright villain. The Captain gets an expanded role too, which warmed my Cap-lovin’ old heart. He’s a mix of the film’s Captain of the Guard and Maximus, and I love how the author blended their two roles, but also made Captain Tregsburg his own unique person (he’s also obsessed with horses, which makes him the best character by default).

One thing I really loved was seeing Rapunzel have a little more independence and agency over her own story. Arguably the film Tangled is more centered on Eugene –his actions have the most effect on the plot - so it’s nice to see Rapunzel be the one in the driver’s seat this time. She is just lovely. She keeps messing up different animals’ names, because all she knows of them are stylized drawing in her books. There’s a moment where she gets distracted by the desire to hug a random horse – it’s adorable. She gets a lot of great moments to assert herself as well. She very much feels like her own person.

I found the treatment of the violence and dark themes interesting – there’s a lot of death, and blood, mentions of torture –grisly stuff. But it isn’t treated with the gravitas I’m used to from young adult books, so it felt like it was geared for a younger audience. I guess I was expecting something more Disneyfied, where the violence is either toned down, or made into these big emotionally wrought moments. It’s not a bad thing, it just stuck out to me. How we treat violence in media has just been on my mind a lot lately. I’m interested in checking out more Twisted Tales books to see how they handle the darker elements as well. I’m usually not a fan of remaking children’s content into something more serious and 'mature’, but that’s because it’s done for no reason other than shock value. I didn’t feel that was the case here; the story is different enough and the concept dark enough that it warrants a darker atmosphere. And despite this there’s still an element of lightheartedness to it – the situations are serious, but the characters are still fun. Seeing them, especially Rapunzel, still find brightness and humor and hope in a dark, scary world is really endearing.

My only critique would be that a lot of story threads and themes get introduced and then dropped. Tangled is a very close-knit movie – it knows what it wants to say, and the themes it wants to explore, and those themes are fully planted early on, and wrapped up nicely by the end. This book just throws ideas at you left and right, at any given moment, and not all of them are given the time to really feel impactful. A lot of them felt like they were shoehorned in because they’re part of the franchise, so you have to have them in some form, but other elements just seem to be thrown in for extra flavor. No one theme stands out, and it’s just sort of this wild medley of ideas, especially where the magic is concerned. The result is that some things don’t feel fully fleshed out, like there was no setup to certain elements, and no payoff for others. I don’t think that’s such a bad thing in a story though. This is obviously a story that is meant purely to entertain.

One thing you can’t say though, is that it’s a boring book. There is just way too much being thrown at you, and some of it is wild. The writing is super snappy and everything moves very fast, so you hardly have time to worry about any dropped story threads. It feels totally different from the world of the film, but it’s got the same flavor of a wacky, fun adventure - just with a lot more death and bloodshed.

And I mention all that preamble, because I really just want to gush about Captain Tregsburg. Like the man’s love of horses, or the fact that Eugene calls him Treggsy, and I think that’s adorable. He’s not quite the Captain of the Guard we all know and love, but he feels like his own character. I love him, love his weird yet somehow perfect character arc, love that he just gives a random old lady a spoon, love that he stares out the window looking at horses and thinking about them all day when he’s not riding (like me, everyday). There is somewhat of an attempt to have Eugene and Captain have a father-son bonding moment. It doesn’t really have enough of a setup to really work, but it was very sweet, and I applaud the effort. Cap and Eugene and Maximus all coming to respect and care for each other is really all I ever want. Where is my Tangled buddy-cop spin-off of the three of them solving equine-related crimes already?

Apparently, the Captain also just knows the owner of the Snuggly Duckling. One of the guards questions this, and he never answers. Like does he moonlight at the pub as a jazz singer on the weekends? Are they star-crossed lovers? Father and son? What are your secrets,Tregsburg?! I must know.

Again, so many story threads that seem to be setting something up are just never brought up again. That’s a relatively minor one, but there are bigger ones too, such as Arianna being set up as a character but then never dipping into the story, or the Sundrop flower being mentioned repeatedly, but never really coming into the story at all.

I can’t say it really bothered me too much though. Overall it was just a very fun read. I had a great time. Strongest part was definitely the characters - it was delightful to read about old favorites in a much darker and strange world, and the new characters were lovely too. I love that extra time was taken to just let Rapunzel explore and learn on her own. It felt like the author was having a lot of fun just playing around with the world and the characters, and I couldn’t help but have fun too.

[sevsnapeposts]

Snapetober Day 1: Autumn.

hi everyone! today finally starts the snapetober, are you excited? i sure am. so i decided to write for it, but will eventually (once october is done) do art for every day. today we start with a recollection of memories throughout the years from Prue's POV. you can read it over in ao3 if you'd like, and also if you'd be kind enough, go give me some kudos over there. thanks, hope you enjoy~.

Day 1 - Autumn.

---

1993.

Prue was on the Hogwarts Express, heading to London, where she would meet the Malfoys to spend the holidays with them. Usually her mood would be pessimistic and she would find herself terrified to imagine what was going to get into her room on any of those nights, but honestly, the girl couldn't think of anything other than her Potions professor.

If she closed her eyes, she couldn't help but sigh, remembering each second intensely, her heart racing as she imagined his face shocked at her, at the actions she had taken. Her pulse reached its peak when she recalled everything she saw then, as if time had stopped to give her the opportunity to perfectly memorize the details, even the smallest of them: Black hair surrounding the pale face, agitated by the staggering and the autumn air that little by little became more wintry with the passing of the days; confused, puzzled, and a tinge of scared,black eyes, unsure what the hell was going on, and also (and Prue blushed just thinking about it) expectant, hopeful; pale skin gently reddened at certain points, such as the cheekbones and the tip of the nose, due to the cold and, she dared to suspect, due to her, to her closeness to him; and finally, the area where her attention had focused the most: His lips, thin and pale, slightly parted, perhaps because they were ready to say "what the bloody hell is wrong with you, Pennyworth?"sentence that was never heard.

The girl had wondered many times, over the last few weeks, what it would be like to feel those lips on hers. Were they as cold as the words that his owner spoke with them? Or would they be warm and kind like his hands that day that he accompanied her in her solitude?

She smiled widely, for the second time in her life, thinking that she finally knew the answers to her questions.

1994.

If there was one thing she never thought could happen to her, it was having a boyfriend. She knew she was complicated and difficult, and she wouldn't have been surprised to spend the rest of her life not romantically intimate with anyone… But it had happened, much to her surprise.

And, even to her greatest surprise, something happened that had seemed even more unlikely: she was the one who ended the relationship. He didn’t throw her away, he didn’t abandon her as practically everyone else, he didn’t leave her. Even when the relationship ended, he didn’t do any of that, because he was still with her, as her friend, perfectly understanding that one does not rule in love.

It happens that she wasn’t able to bear someone else's heart, not when she knew that hers was beating strongly for that man with eyes as dark as his robes. Prue understood now, sitting under one of the huge trees that marked the beginning of the Forbidden Forest, surrounded by brown and orange and yellow and green leaves, that it wasn’t that she would never find someone for her, but rather, that she didn’t want someone other than him.

1995.

Prue was hating badly that year. Not even the cookie-scented breeze provided any consolation for how gross it was to have that damn pink toad (ruining her favorite color, by the way) shutting down basically everything good at Hogwarts.

What did serve as comfort, however, was the fact that Severus sympathized with her at her annoyance for that woman. One day, she had even managed to make him laugh — Severus bloody Snape, laughing openly in front of her. Prue had never seen anything so cute, something that could completely melt her cold heart. Her powerful memory perfectly captured that moment, treasuring it alongside the memory of two years ago. Those were things that she would never forget, things that would forever be in her heart, and things that were reproduced in her imagination while the pink toad taught her.

1996.

The echo of the rain traveled all the way down from the surface of the Dark Lake, the air up there being so wild that it dragged a lot of the fallen leaves and twigs into the water, making everyone thankful to be inside the castle, warm from the fire in the chimneys, eating pumpkin and butter biscuits.

Prue wasn't eating any biscuits however, but she didn’t mind. From the huge window she could clearly see how the Lake was disturbed by the storm, even though she was several feet below the surface. Beside her lay her teacher, fast asleep and more than likely exhausted. She took advantage of that moment to admire his features, so relaxed and soft, doing justice to the kind of person he was, to the feelings that were in him, and in her, and between them. She wanted to touch him, and caress him, and wander over his skin again, every part of his skin, with her lips.

Her memory was prodigious, and she knew every part of him.

But her body wasn't, and she was determined to tattoo her skin with his.

1997.

It wasn't going to be easy, she knew, even though they'd only been in school for a couple of months. Voldemort wasn't there, personally, but all the bloody putrefaction in him was. It was flooding London, and Diagon Alley, and Hogsmeade, and Hogwarts, and Severus. He looked worse every day, as if his own death was drawing closer and closer, and Prue knew it was a very likely possibility.

Not only was he at risk. Less, true, but she was also in danger, Voldemort's gaze was on her, very interested in her performance and with a clear desire to recruit her. She was powerful, young, gifted in Dark Arts and from a pure-blood family: Everything Voldemort valued.

And Prue was terrified, even though her expression was as blank as ever. For her to a lesser extent, for him mainly, and for whatever was in store for the Magical World.

But she would be strong, for the same reasons that terrified her, and one way or another, she would see Severus laugh again.

1998.

It had been several months since things were finally over, as far as Prue was concerned. The school year had started a bit late, but Hogwarts had finally reopened its doors to students. Minerva McGonagall was the headmistress, and Severus went back to the Potions, and she went back to him.

It was the first Saturday of the year. Severus was sitting next to her, both hiding in one of Hogwarts' secret gardens, where no one could find them except, perhaps, McGonagall, but the woman liked Severus (and Prue) enough to not interrupt their intimate time together.

‘Intimate’ as in holding hands, her head resting on his shoulder, whilst silently watching the sky, as so many years ago they had done. In the center of the garden was a tree, with leaves that were turning more and more yellow and orange. INot a single one had fallen yet, and Prue, for some reason, really wanted to witness the event.

The young girl, almost a woman now, turned her piercing green eyes from it to her companion. He was looking back at her now, black eyes with a different glow, one that brought life to his entire face and made her heart race like a restless child in summer. Without saying anything, because there was no need, the young woman approached him, closing her eyes, soon feeling the soft contact of his lips for the first time in a long time.

When Prue pulled away from Severus, out of the corner of her eye she noticed movement, and she turned just in time to see an orange and red-hued leaf hit the ground after gliding gently in the wind. She smiled like she only did when she was with him. Before giving him time to ask, because she knew that he had noticed her smile and felt the joy that basically radiated from her, the young woman spoke:

"I would like to spend the rest of my autumns with you”.

Severus didn't reply, but his smile said more than enough.

[a-sleepy-reader]

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov: an Analysis and Review

Foreword

Trigger warning for themes of paedophilia, sexual assault, stillbirth, manipulation, violence, and tragedy as well as gruesome descriptions of death. If you want a review free of spoilers, please scroll to the section labelled ‘Conclusion/Review without spoilers.’

Introduction

Calling Lolita a controversial novel is a safe bet. Some readers revolt at its topic, others still protest it as the inspirational romance of the century. Both give Lolita a bad name. I will say it once very clearly; plot-wise, Lolita is a book about a paedophile who grooms, manipulates, isolates, and rapes a twelve year old girl. It is disturbing subject material to say the least, subject material that has to be given more thought than its protagonist’s ramblings of adoration for the book’s namesake. 

For instance, despite its fluctuating reputation, Lolita has found itself to be a playful and humorous novel to many, a “...comedy of horrors” according to the San Francisco Chronicle. So what is Lolita, exactly? A comedy? A thriller? Both? It is time to examine this twisted novel and see just how tangled its thorns are.

Plot synopsis

Humbert Humbert is a typical man by most standards: a handsome, French writer and professor with a soft spot for road trips… and little girls. 

Humbert categorises the sexes into the male, the female, and the nymphet, the latter of which describes peculiar young girls Humbert feels an intangible attraction to. It is with such a nymphet that Humbert self-describingly falls in love with; rambunctious twelve-year-old Dolores(whom he dons ‘Lolita). He cannot keep his mind off of her; ‘light of my life, fire of my loins.’ In however poetic a prose he may choose to describe it, Humbert feels a physical bond to young Dolores like to no one else since his dead childhood sweetheart. Humbert goes so far to pursue the girl that he marries her mother, whom he plots to drown in the blue depths of a lake to have Dolores all to himself. However, what Humbert describes as a work of fate led to the day Dolores’ mother’s brain lay strewn about the road, smeared by an incoming car. She didn’t need to be subject to Humbert’s schemes to die.

From there on, Humbert has legal custody over the twelve-year-old fire of his loins. Raping Dolores becomes a routine. Though she does initially say yes, she is a minor incapable of consent in the imbalance of a grown man with everything to lose if she is to either escape or stop the affair; she will lose her only family if she reports him, and risks breaking his heart if she cuts off the affair altogether-unfortunates only know what people do when they have nothing to lose. Orphaned and trapped, Lolita agrees to Humbert’s ‘love.’ As he described it, ‘she had nowhere else to go.’ 

Two years pass before Dolores falls ill during their second road trip and is taken out of the hospital by an uncle aware of Humbert’s affairs. By way of escaping with this newfound relative, Dolores is finally free from Humbert’s possessive grasp. Depressed by his separation from the girl, Humbert lives a miserable life for several years before receiving a letter from Dolores herself saying she is married and pregnant. Though Humbert suspects the man behind both titles is her own uncle, Dolores refutes this by saying that, though she was in love with him, they did not settle because she refused to be in his pornographic film.

Enraged with the uncle, Humbert arrives at Dolores’ uncle’s house and murders him before being arrested. It is here that we learn Lolita is Humbert’s autobiography of the events surrounding his ‘love’ for the book’s namesake. Though he wishes for the girl-turned-woman to live for a great many years, the victim, escapee, and survivor dies in 1952 during childbirth. Her offspring is a stillborn.

Analysis

It’s a curious thing, really. That so many interpret Lolita as a romance, I mean. Of course, it often presents itself in its writing as a summery romance to read on the beach. A handsome man meets a female. An attraction is felt. Male and female confess an attraction for one another which leads them on a series of road trips following the female’s mother’s incidental death. The language is no exception to this tone-just read the first paragraph: 

“Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.”

It’s made up of beautiful, flowery sentences, language suggestive of the pure romance of a man ‘in love.’ With a twelve year old girl he rapes. Yes, Lolita is one of those novels that wears many outfits, its outermost lining being that of a tragic love story of one traumatised man and his ungrateful lover. This perspective is especially interesting when taking into account Lolita’s exquisite writing; could the flowery language have prompted so many to interpret this book as a romance? Could Lolita be representative of how so many wield words to distract or deceive those trying their best to disapprove of them? Either way, few deny that Humbert is lying, to himself or to the reader, of exactly how the events of his fascination with Dolores occurred. Digging further into the book, Lolita becomes  an unreliable narrator’s documentation of the rape and manipulation directed toward a naive minor trying to cope with her mother’s death. Further still, it is a comedic satire of a paedophile’s attempts  to justify his crimes... and failing miserably. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I wasn’t even her first lover.” Deeper still and it’s one man’s search for his childhood sweetheart(dearest and deadest) he never finished loving, so he seeks, endlessly, to shower her lookalikes with unwanted ‘love.’ Without end. Without fulfilment. 

Lolita is a story of infinite stories.

Review

What first struck me about Lolita was its beautiful writing; its eloquent prose, imagery, and metaphors hopelessly hooked me from the first paragraph. Nabokov never ceases to use amazing similes, description, and personification to amplify the reader’s experience of the goings-on of Humbert and the girl. This is especially striking in contrast to its tragic subject material; Humbert will rape, and he will manipulate, and he will scheme a murder, and he will hurt so many innocent lives, but he will do so with seemingly effortless grace in the scribbles on a paper. 

Despite this, I did not find Lolita to be a difficult read regarding comprehension of the text. True, many a word I did not understand, but, despite this, I could always tell what was being communicated; the language is certainly not as dated as Hemingway nor Shakespeare. It may even be a calming read for those with a strong stomach, and will certainly teach a thing or two to those wishing to learn more about poetic writing styles done well. 

Some may find the book to be lacking in terms of plot and overall excitement, but I feel this is a subjective view rather than a relatively factual one; Lolita is not an action book. Nor is it a drama. Humbert sometimes spends pages describing the exact locations of a road trip, or exactly how he earned money in the 50’s, and so forth. Some may find this mundane; I will admit that I was, at times, bored by it myself. However, what Nabokov sacrifices in brevity he makes up for with a profound understanding of Humbert’s emotions, environment, and thoughts. 

One slight criticism I do, however, have, is that I found all of the characters in Lolita were fairly bland for me. True, Humbert is unique in his attempt to beautify the macabre, but beyond the initial shock factor of his morale and the revelation that he is seeking the love of a girlfriend from his childhood, Humbert can be mostly summarised as ‘quiet, manipulative, scheming, and possessive of Dolores.’ I was not invested in him as a character, probably due to a lack of good qualities within him; it is true that by one perspective, his story can be interpreted as tragic for him, though through the more common lens of Lolita being a 336-page manipulation of the severity of the atrocities of an evil man, Humbert loses all good qualities beyond his capabilities as a writer.

The same goes for Dolores herself, as I found her to be fairly two-dimensional; she is very sensory and seeks goods of food and adventure and she has a rambunctious heart unconcerned with how others’ feel nor how others perceive her. She is what many would call a ‘wild child,’ and though she becomes more withdrawn later in the book due to the numerous abuses she endured, I did not see much depth to her beyond face value. 

That being said, I certainly do not think the characters are bad, just that they are underwhelming in comparison to the rest of the story. 

I recommend Lolita to those enthralled by character-driven stories of nuanced emotions and traumas, a sort of story of the broken attempting to break the whole. If you are not put off by very thorough descriptions nor by a purposefully thin plot, I have the impression Lolita will revolt, horrify, hypnotise, and seduce its readers into its soft, macabre pages. 

I give Lolita a rating of 90%.

Conclusion/Review without spoilers

Lolita is a vile, endlessly layered story of trauma and the endless search for lost love, horrific abuses, of humorous wit and smirking irony, and of one man’s endless destiny of deceit. I suppose Humbert’s own initials best summarise the smile and wink this book will deliver as you holler at Humbert, weep for Dolores, or perhaps even vice versa. They do say Russians are witty, and Nabokov does not fail this reputation even when we analyse how Humbert Humbert’s initials sound in the author’s native language: 

Ha-ha.