#a really distinct and well realized world
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I started replaying my favourite fire emblems the other day! Local queer boy gets tangled in one war after another that he has no real place in just trying to make one right decision at a time
#fire emblem#path of radiance#fe ike#doodly#I love these games so much#they have everything#heavily queer coded protagonist#I read Ike as gay but I also see the aro reading#a really distinct and well realized world#some banger lines#interconnected cast#base conversations holy shit I love base conversations#furries#old man catboy yaoi#I could go on about these games forever
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No bc fuck tim but it really really bothers me how people ignore his growth like he used to be an asshole and Iāll give tim Stans one thing: now heās so so so stale but what I disagree with is that this staleness is bc nobody likes him like itās in fact the exact opposite where everyone likes him so much they dont want to do anything. Even when itās him surface level challenging Bruce itās when everyone else is doing it too; but heās still the backbone of the fam! Etc. and itās so irritating bc him gaining more compassion and empathy even for people he doesnāt fw is so fun to watch and thatās why the captain boomerang thing was so out of character! (Not in a from the author way but in a tim wouldnāt do that and he and Bruce both knew it which is why it went down like it did. Same way dick killing joker was ooc; not in fanon sense but in a he would hate himself forever for this sense) and speaking of that itās such an interesting mirror to Bruce who genuinely believes that everyone can grow vs Timās it doesnāt matter if they grow itās not my decision to make like itās the same but itās not AND WITH CASSā IT DOESNT MATTER IF THEY CHOOSE NOT TO GROW I WONT DO IT! like ugh. And anyways even when people acknowledge it they boil it down to āJanet and Jack taught him that the capitalist pigs that they areā like no. This is who tim was. Tim was the kind of guy whoād blame a dead kid for dying. Thatās ok. Also Janet and Jack? Please reread anything involving them thatās not a fic like Jack had anger issues and they were both aloof at worst like relax.
#the Jack and Janet thing is both an understatement and an exaggeration but I donāt think anyone reads enough to care#some tim stan might get all pissy and be like āno look this is everytime jack yelled at him and boarding schools are abusiveā to which#and its like narratively that means nothing bc the tim you made up to justify the Drake parents you made up by blowing shit out of#proportion is also made up and if all of that was abusive thereād be smth to show for it besides ur homophobic Jack#too girlboss to care but still terrible Janet bc god forbid a woman have a personality from ur fics#anyways thatās also the reason Iām ignoring the council of spiders#well two reasons#first is that was just a moment to make tim look cool and did absolutely nothing for him or his character moving on#like at all#Iād say it fucked with his previous established dislike of killing for his own reasons#and while that COULD be interesting itās not bc they didnāt do shit with it#and fanon doesnāt do fun shit with it either#nothing about how tim in his most manic state did shit he doesnāt want to remember shit heād HATE other ppl for#just āāremember what I did to ur base Raās? mess with me again and see what I do next š¼ā#like ok can you be real and genuine?#anyways I think#AND NOT IN A HATER WAY#Tim would benefit from being humbled#like genuinely I detest the world canāt move without tim running it but the idea that tim thinks that way is so good to me#and#I think next step being him realizing thatās not true would be a BIG push for his character#bc like I said tim Stans are right in the fact that heās stale as hell rn#but thatās bc thereās nothing to say bc thereās nowhere to go! yāall want a tim action story where he shows off how badass he is reread#the Bruce quest and maybe itāll remind you heās not ceo lmao but anyways thereās nothing internal to say about him atp bc nobody wants to#say anything thatās not propping him up. same with Bruce! Gotham war was such a copout but itās like ppl are saying heās stale and itās bc#god forbid he makes a lasting fumble. and Iām not under the illusion this is new Iām just saying itās weird that fandoms not clocking it#anywayyys I really do like thinking about the No killing rule and how different it manifests for each perosn#like the way each distinct difference tells u so much about them#UGH ONLY SLIGHTLY RELATED BUT DUUUUUKE BEING LIKE IDGAF ABOUT GUNS LIKE UR SO REAAAL#anyways enough tim positivity for today FUCK THAT NIGGA!
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top 10 pokemon that are girls
'gender'.... much like 'animals' this is a concept from our world that has made itself present in the pokemon franchise. all pokemon began having genders (except for the ones that don't) in the second generation of games, in order to facilitate the pokemon breeding mechanic which has become a staple of the main series
you may think this means the issue of which pokemon are girls and which ones aren't is already settled. but do we really trust game freak to be the deciding voices on this one? i certainly don't. so here's a nonexhaustive look at some pokemon that are doing their best to be role models for young women everywhere who have been picking up and enjoying these games for decades.
#10 - NIDORANā
Not only is Nidoranā canonically a girl, she is the first pokemon to be canonically a girl as the gender distinction between Nidoran types predates the introduction of gen 2's breeding system that gendered all pokemon. she broke the glass ceiling, and for this we salute her.
#9 - KANGASKHAN
Both culturally and in media single mothers are subject to a lot of scrutiny and scorn, but kangaskhan breaks the mold. powerful, responsible, yet loving and joy-filled. the look on her baby's face tells us all we need to know; she holds on tight to the pouch, clinging to the safety she knows her mother can give her, but gazes awestruck and wide-eyed at the world around her, knowing its wonders will be there waiting for her as soon as she feels ready for it.
#8 - CELESTEELA
Technically, celesteela's gender is 'unknown', but it's obvious that celesteela represents what life can look like for a woman who truly has it all. As one of the largest and heaviest pokemon ever discovered, she's not afraid to take up space. she doesn't feel the need to soften herself to be more accepted by the world around her, but she's also comfortable enough with her feminine side to let it shine through where and when she wants. nobody tells her how to live her life but her and also she has big lazers
#7 - MISMAGIUS
Well she's not called MISTER magius now, is she?
#6 - LYCANROC
Perfect embodiment of the wolfgirl you knew (or, perhaps were?) in middleschool. There are many doglike/canine pokemon in the dex, but something about lycanroc's exaggerated unkempt mane and lanky, awkward posture evokes the physicality of a teenager who exists as a beast beyond the boundaries of her own body.
#5 - CHIKORITA
This saultry little binch...
#4 - RAYQUAZA
It's an uncomfortable truth in life that many women find themselves in the position of needing to play the mediator in order to stop the people around them from acting in destructive or harmful ways. But just because mediating conflict can be a difficult and unfair position to be put into, that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Rayquaza just goes to show us all everywhere how a real woman can still thrive under these circumstances, doing her best to build a more peaceful world while not letting that push her into the shadows or make her take a back seat in her own life. she is a community leader and an innovator.
#3 - SALAZZLE
She's the archetypal femme fatale. A dominatrix. A baddie. Does she make me uncomfortable? Yes, absolutely. But I'm not a furry so I'm not really the target audience of what's happening here.
#2 - SLAKING
I know so many butches who look exactly like her. you love to see it.
#1 - MEWTWO
as one feminist philosopher has said: "I see now that the circumstances of one's birth is irrelevant, it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are."
I think any woman living in a patriarchal society can sympathize with mewtwo's story. enraged at being treated like the property of the people who created her rather than her own fully realized person, she goes on a rampage where it quickly becomes obvious that she is even more powerful than that what she was originally created in the image of. Although this takes her down a dark path, she eventually learns to self-actualize by working on herself rather than pointlessly lashing out at people who had nothing to do with hurting her. it's empowering stuff. doubly empowering because she killed all those clowns who DID hurt her
now, of course, there are plenty more pokemon that are girls than just what i've listed here today. but i hope youve learned a little something from this.
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i realized the other day after posting about this fan theory that, at this point, it is basically talked about in fandom as if its canon, and newer fans might not understand why. my goal today was to explain the theory and all of the evidence we have for it in inquisition to give people a better understanding of why this has become so ubiquitous, and to hopefully have something to look back on in two months with that "apollo gift of prophecy" dodgeball meme when veilguard proves us right.
very important before i get started: this is not my theory. i didn't make it up. unfortunately, i also don't know exactly who did and if it could even be traced at this point. this is something that many people have believed for a long time, and i'm not the first to write about it. there are a lot of great posts and essays that speculate on this theory, and what it could mean for solas's character going forward.
PLEASE feel free to contribute thoughts, or link to posts you have made yourself or seen before in the replies/reblogs!!! much of my own experience with this comes from long before this account existed, so i dont have exact sources but rather random, amorphous fandom knowledge of this theory and what major arguments have circulated in the past 10 years. this post by @sammakesart and this post by @mrs-gauche went around recently and both touch on this theory and i highly recommend them both! i know @corseque has also written about this theory multiple times over the years.
i was first introduced to this on tumblr when it started gaining ground in the fandom after the release of trespasser in 2015, predominantly due to a couple of lines of cole dialogue from trespasser, so that is where we will begin.
shoutout to @daitranscripts and the dragon age wiki for the dialogue
this line of cole's is basically the foundation of this theory, and what is cited most often. i'm not entirely sure if the theory existed before trespasser, but if it did, i dont remember it being well-known or widely accepted like it is now.
this line is usually interpreted to suggest that solas, who would have been a spirit of wisdom/pride at the time, took a body and came into being as an elf at mythal's behest. this is also the line that suggests solas himself once wore vallaslin, and that he removed it himself using the same spell he uses on a romanced lavellan thousands of years later, but did so clumsily the first time and left the scar we can see on his eyebrow.
first i want to acknowledge what are pretty much the most damning indications of this theory
solas means "pride; to stand tall" in elvhen, according to world of thedas vol. 1
the dread wolf form we see in murals, written descriptions, and of course, in real life in the veilguard trailer, bears a pretty clear resemblance to pride demons:
most notably, in the face and eyes. yeah i dont really have anything else to say about those lmao it's pretty blatant
overall, inquisition tells us a great deal about spirits, and gives the player an alternate worldview through which to understand them, distinct from the chantry/circle narrative presented previously.
solas himself, along with cole, has a lot to say about the nature of spirits throughout his dialogue and banter with several characters. one sentiment that he espouses repeatedly is that spirits and demons are the same thing, but demons are a spirit corrupted and perverted away from its purpose.
Solas: They rarely seek this world. When they do, their natures do not often survive exposure to the people they encounter. Wisdom and purpose are too easily twisted to pride and desire
During All New, Faded for Her:
PC: Solas, you said your friend was a wisdom spirit. Solas: That is not its natural form. It has been corrupted. PC: Corrupted? Solas: Forced to act against its original purpose. What did they do, what did they do, what did they do?
second, that spirits and the fade are a mirror, and reflect the waking world. specifically, that spirits reflect the perception and expectation of a mortal, and adapts accordingly. belief makes reality.
On Ostagar:
PC: I've heard the stories. It would be interesting to hear what it was really like. Solas: That's just it. In the Fade, I see reflections created by spirits who react to the emotions of the warriors. One moment, I see heroic Wardens lighting the fire and a power mad villain sneering as he lets King Cailan fall. The next, I see an army overwhelmed and a veteran commander refusing to let more soldiers die in a lost cause. PC: And you can't tell which is real? Solas: It is the fade. They are all real.
and third, that spirits are people.
solas expresses concerns over what the breach does to spirits at multiple points, including here with cassandra.
he also regularly argues in favor of spirits personhood, and passionately pushes back against characters who argue the opposite, such as dorian:
as well as the inquisitor themselves, should they choose certain dialogue options:
PC: You trust these spirits not to possess you the first time you accidentally make a wish? Solas: Do you trust your friends not to turn on you? (authors note: LMFAOOOOOOO) PC: Well, yes, but they're people. Solas: Ah, of course. PC: You know what I mean. Solas: Are people only people because they are flesh and blood? Solas: Is Cassandra defined by her cheekbones and not her faith? Varric by his chest hair not his wit? PC: They're not defined by their bodies, but they do have bodies. You need one to be a person. Solas: A demon possessing a corpse has a body. PC: A living body. Solas: A demon possesses a living mage to become an abomination. PC: They didn't make that body. They just took it over. Solas: Technically your mother created your body, with some help from your father, one assumes. PC: You've thought about this. Solas: On occasion, yes. OR:
PC: Spirits are bound by their nature. You said it yourself. They're shaped by contact with real people. Solas: Just as Leliana was shaped by contact with Divine Justinia, as those who serve the inquisition are shaped by you. If I change your mind in this conversation, does that mean you're no more real than a spirit? OR: PC: Im certain you have some rhetorical trick ready to counter anything I say. Solas: It's likely. I've had a lot of time to discuss the question with people. Or "spirits", if you prefer.
aside from this entire conversation being hilarious and very fen'harel coded, i think its notable that his enthusiasm and snark here is distinct from the way he engages in other debates, where he is often clinical and detached. on the subject of spirits, however, we get a lot more emotional investment from him - it feels personal. as he says, he's thought about it. on occasion.
solas having originally been a spirit adds helpful context for his insistence on spirit's personhood despite modern thedas's completely contradictory beliefs, and also helps inform his worldview more generally, especially in regards to elves.
one of solas's most heavily criticized aspects is his disdain for modern elves and the dalish. and i agree, it's fucked up and he is an absolute ass about it at nearly every opportunity. however, his feelings regarding the elves sometimes seem... strange, even in the context of him being an ancient elf.
keeping in mind cole's line from trespasser, that he "did not want a body", as well as another cole line from trespasser:
most people infer that there is some sort of resentment on solas's end for him having to become human at mythal's request. it seems as if he was turned away from his purpose. wisdom forced to be pride.
cole's personal quest, which shows solas passionately arguing to keep cole a spirit, supports this. it is almost as if he is trying to prevent cole from the same fate that was forced upon him.
throughout the quest he says things such as: "This is not some fanciful story, child of the stone. We cannot change our nature by wishing." "A spirit does not work through emotions. It embodies them." "You would alter the essence of what he is." "It is good that he is not entirely changed, however human he becomes."
most telling of all, i think is this line at the end of the quest if you elect to keep cole as a spirit.
Varric: "He could have been a person." Solas: Possibly. Would that have made him happier?
OUGGHGH.
clearly, for solas, the answer was no. being a person has not made him happier.
regardless, solas still values spirits as fundamentally equal to people despite their differences and worthy of the same freedoms, self-determination and respect.
this kinship with spirits, however, might help explain his disdain for elves, in a way i find to be more satisfying than "all ancient elves are assholes" and more in-line with his character overall.
it seems as if solas doesnt see himself as separate from modern elves because he doesnt see himself as a modern elf, but that he doesnt not see himself as an elf at all, but rather as a spirit.
solas infamously says, following halamshiral if you bring up briala:
"I'm sorry, I was confused. I do not consider myself to have much in common with the elves."
the inquisitor has the option for several responses, and although most of us probably pick the one that tells him to fuck off, the others are more telling:
PC: Nor should you. You're not defined by the shape of your ears. They're not your people. Solas: No, they are not. OR PC: Who do you have much in common with. Who are your people? Solas: A good question. Solas: I joined the inquisition to save the world. Regardless of who "my people" are, this was the best way to help him.
"not being defined by the shape of your ears" and solas's immediate identification with the statement and approval of it sticks out to me. it seems like he's just being racist, and he very well might be, but in the context of this theory, it can also be interpreted as him disliking being "defined" by having a body at all, or any physical characteristics, consistent with how he resists the idea that varric and cassandra are defined by their own physical characteristics.
if the player insists they want to help the orlesian elves even if he doesnt, he still has something interesting to say:
Solas: Stop Corypheus. That will do for a start. It speaks well of you to feel for the oppressed. Help them for that. Know them for what they are.
this is not the only time he equates all oppressed groups of thedas to one another, defined by their shared subjugation rather than the real, in-world divisions such as race and religion. it's also interesting to consider the relationship between oppression, as a situation that evokes certain emotions in those who experience it, such as pride. as solas says of ostagar, spirits there were drawn to the emotions of the soldiers there. are spirits of pride drawn to situations of oppression, where pride is needed for liberation?
solas's failure (or refusal) to recognize the reality of how oppression functions in modern thedas along lines of race and ethnicity specifically is one of his biggest flaws, but it continues to fit with this theory, as it is consistent with that same sort of single-minded, spirit tunnel-vision that we see from spirits and demons. i would also assume that he considers spirits to be part of this monolithic group of "the oppressed", considering the spirit slavery/bondage practices in tevinter and nevarra, both of which he criticizes.
i do believe, however, that to equate all of solas's unfair derision of the dalish to him identifying with spirits over people, rather than ancient elves over modern elves, would be too generous and an oversimplification. its also clear how much of his anger towards the dalish comes from... wait for it.... his wounded pride.
solas is prideful. when he is faced with pride in others, he becomes defensive, even nasty. when his pride is challenged, often by others pride, he becomes almost unrecognizable. the dalish specifically rub up against his pride, in the most specific of ways that grate at his most cherished qualities and that disregard his own perception of himself. the thing he is most proud of, leading a slave rebellion against corrupt tyrants, erased from history entirely. branded a traitor instead, while those he fought against are worshiped as saviors for millennia.
Solas: I have joined my fair share of causes. But when I offered lessons learned in the Fade, I was derided by my enemies... and sometimes by my allies. Liar. Fool. Madman. There are endless ways to say something isn't worth listening to. Over time, it grinds away at you.
its also possible, considering what we know of the nature of expectation creating reality for spirits, that the dalish framing of the dread wolf actually does indeed make him worse - more arrogant, less compassionate, more ruthless, more cunning, more of a liar. a spirit being perverted into a demon based on the dominant perception of it.
perhaps the most interesting tidbit about solas of all which supports this theory, is that this phenomenon of expectation shaping his nature, making him more prideful or more humble, is not exclusive to the world of thedas, but also occurs on a meta-level with the player by proxy of the inquisitor.
a 2020 interview of trick weekes, solas's writer, says this pretty much verbatim.
"Solas mirrors. If you approach Solas from a place of humility and say, "I want to learn from you," Solas will bend over backwards to tell you how flawed he is and how he's just coming at this from his own limited understanding. If you come in with ego, Solas is genetically incapable of not bristling when he sees your ego... because he can't not do that."
this is fascinating for like 7 million reasons, but most notably for the language trick uses that i believe to be incredibly revealing. first, solas himself talks about how spirits "mirror" the real world multiple times. second is the way in which they speak about solas's mirroring as innate, uncontrollable, and involuntary. he is genetically incapable of not mirroring. genetically incapable of not bristling at someone else's pride. this being a genetic incapability implies, pretty unambigously, that he is a spirit. we dont know of any people in thedas who have pride in their DNA. except. you know. pride demons.
pride is his purpose. he cannot turn away from it or betray that purpose to pursue something else. he cannot change his nature simply by wishing. if he were to attempt it, he would be corrupted.
trick offers this information as an explanation for player's extremely varied perception of solas when playing the game, and it perfectly mimics the way solas himself talks about spirits as being created by a dreamer's expectation of them.
when asked about his friendships with spirits, he says:.
PC: You're saying that you became friends with pride and desire demons? Solas: They were not demons for me. PC: Meaning? Solas: The Fade reflects the minds of the living. If you expect a spirit of wisdom to be a pride demon, it will adapt/ And if your mind is free of corrupting influences? If you understand the nature of the spirit? They can be fast friends.
i just love how perfectly this reflects every fandom argument that's been had on twitter about solas for the past 10 years. like seriously.
random twitter user: you like that guy!? but hes a [demon]!! solas stans: he wasn't a demon for me
and it is true; people who are pretty deep into the games often know what solas is like to a low-approval inquisitor, but it can be shocking for new players to see what he is like at the other end of the approval spectrum, whether that is someone who hated him seeing the tenderness with which he kisses a romanced lavellan goodbye to remove her anchor in trespasser, or someone who romanced him witnessing the cruelty and detachment which with he grabs a low-approval inquisitor to yank off their anchor. he becomes almost an entirely different person based on how the player treats him.
for all that solas, in true spirit form, reflects the perceptions of the players, he has plenty of pure pride-demon vibes on his own, independent of player expectation. he is not just proud, or made proud as a mirror for player/character pride, but he often even goes as far as to act in ways that mimic how we have seen from spirits more generally, as well as pride demons specifically.
the wiki states:
"Spirits are not complex in the sense that they seize upon a single facet of human experience, and this one idea becomes their identity.[3] They are formed as a reflection of the real world and its passions.[10] A spirit embodies and latches onto a specific purpose and will do all in its power to fulfill that purpose. For instance, a hunger demon will attempt to feed on anything it crosses,[4] and a spirit of justice will stop at nothing to uphold its nameā
along with further reinforcing solas's tunnel vission as characteristic of spirits, he does indeed intentionally attempt to stoke arrogance in others, as well as test characters to see if they are vulnerable to arrogance and power-hungriness. this is probably best exemplified by his banter with vivienne, versus his banter with cassandra.
i mean this one is self explanatory. cmon.
but it becomes especially interesting when compared to his interactions with cassandra, of whom he starts out very distrustful of. however, through their banter, he immediately begins to test her for indications of her inclination towards arrogance and desire for power:
cassandra passes solas's tests and earns his approval through her humility, curiosity, and willingness to give up power for the greater good. as a result, solas softens considerably towards her, and becomes more evocative of wisdom than pride, offering her advice when she asks, though very humbly:
"i would hardly presume" is actually hilarious considering how he does presume. ALL THE TIME. but it shows the extent of this "mirroring" that trick mentions, when compared to how he speaks with vivienne, who does not pass his tests of pride: notice how his jabs at her specifically target her pride, the things she is proud of about herself, and tear them down:
he tells her that her position in the orlesian court is unearned, that the freedom she is so proud of winning for herself will come to an inevitable end, and that her resistance to demons does not make her special. its absolutely BRUTAL.
its especially important to note how little bearing vivienne and cassandra's backgrounds have on solas's perception of them. vivienne is a circle mage, a group of people who solas deeply sympathizes with, and believes should be freed. meanwhile cassandra is effectively templar, a group whom solas despises and finds unjust, and has been complacent in the oppression of mages that solas is so vehemently against.
and yet? it does not matter. he measures their worth based entirely on their propensity for pride.
itās worth noting too, keeping in mind Solasās almost uncharacteristic reverence for cassandraās faith in the maker and (take this with a grain of salt because it was david gaider and he said via forum postā¦.) that there are actually two types of spirits that become pride. wisdom, and faith.
"A spirit embodies and latches onto a specific purpose and will do all in its power to fulfill that purpose."
what we DONT know: pretty much everything else about this. what was the process like? at what point in history did he take the body? how was that body made? was it stolen? did he start as wisdom and turn into pride later? did he always oscillate between both? was he corrupted by what was asked of him, to fight, as his friend was in his personal quest?
i could continue talking about this forever, probably, especially with how it manifests in the solavellan relationship and what it suggests for solas's story in veilguard, but ill cut it here for both my own sanity and yours. but first, a few fun dialogue bits that strike me as very pride-demon coded but didn't fit anywhere else in this analysis.
in conclusion:
#phew!#love putting my autism + english degree to good use on a saturday morning :D#come get yall juice#solas#solas dragon age#dragon age#meta#dragon age meta
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The thing about Omelas is, you know, they really want you to think there's only one kid in a hole.
That's how it's always phrased. The Kid in the Omelas Hole. The forsaken child, if you're feeling fancy. Sometimes if they're feeling really dogmatic, they almost seem to want to tell you there's only ever been one kid, even though that's completely stupid if you think about it. Kids grow up in Omelas. Most of them grow up perfectly happy and healthy, at least until they're old enough to be told about the kid in the hole and then they grow up mostly happy and healthy with a distinct strain of repression. Thinking logically, the kid in the hole must also grow up, or perhaps they don't, but they don't in the way that so many kids in other parts of the world fail to grow up.
And once you've worked that out, once you've realized that every so often they have to find another kid and put them in the hole, well, it's easy to stop there. To feel jaded and sad and maybe angry enough to walk away.
The walking away is important, for several reasons but also this one: walking away means you don't hang around Omelas and compare notes.
Because Omelas can live with there being One Child in One Hole that suffers so that everyone else can prosper. It's a shared shame that you're not supposed to talk about. If you can't live with it, you're suppose to leave. You're not supposed to go to your friends and say, look, I went back to the warehouse in the dock district and saw the kid in the hole again and I'm really struggling with it, because then your friends might look at you like you grew a second head and say, what warehouse.
And then you might learn that they have always known that the happiness and prosperity of Omelas depends on a kid locked away under a law firm uptown. And maybe you ask a few more people and some of them know about the same kids as the ones you and your friend were confronted with, but some of them might know about other kids entirely. And then, perhaps, it starts to become clear that Omelas is built entirely on holes occupied by children and if that's the case, walking away hardly seems like proportional reaction, does it?
If there are many kids in many holes maybe the question of how a kid in a hole is supposed to ensure the prosperity of the city bears some examining. Maybe you start to wonder why you've never seen a kid who isn't prospering except for in a hole. Maybe you wonder if there's other holes and maybe you remember that other places that aren't Omelas have things like attempted prison reform and social services and other such things that you've always been told Omelas doesn't need.
Or maybe you and your friends know about the same kid in the same hole. Maybe there's only one kid in one hole, after all. Maybe it's just not something that's pleasant to talk about, so no one ever does, and there's nothing more suspicious going on than a city where people don't know how to talk about hard subjects.
But you know, maybe. It's weird that they don't want you to talk about it, is all I'm saying. It's weird.
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hi š«¶š» i was thinking maybe you could write spencer x reader inspired by taylor's I look in people's windows? for the plot it could be something like they were really close friends and reader was obviously in love with him but then he met meave and distanced himself from her, or maybe that he blames the reader for meave's death and is avoiding her, idk, whichever you prefer!!
i love your works, you're so good at writing!!
When the Swallows Come Again - S.R
a/n: hi my lovely you just know me tooooooo well. a swiftie plot line you ask? i am at your service
no but fr thank u so so sooo much for requesting i love YOU! š«¶š¼
masterlist
pairings: spencer reid x gn!reader (im pretty sure pls correct me if i added any use of pronouns)
summary: spencer blames you for maeves deathā¦or so you thought
warnings: angst! (happy endings, yes ik im feeling gracious), talk of death, blood, guns, usual criminal minds stuff
wc: 2.5k
The asphalt beneath your boots felt gritty, the sound muffled by the thick blanket of snow. With one hand, you tried to guard your face from the snowflakes that seemed determined to kiss your skin. They might seem pretty from inside, but out here, they were just another reminder of your inadequate clothing against the biting cold.
The first rays of the sun began to stretch across the concrete, painting long shadows in its wake. Although you could have found your way in the pitch black if needed. Most places were still closed, but you knew that a coffee shop you used to love would be open. It wasn't your top choice, mainly because of the fact that you might bump into--
Him.
You knew it was him before you even saw his face, the hairs on your arm standing at attention as you stopped dead in front of the window.
It was Spencer, unmistakable even from a distance, his distinctive curls made into a celestial crown by the cafe's soft light. Your heart stumbled, plummeting down to your shoelaces. A thousand emotions crashed around you, a vortex happening to quick to untangle. These were feeling you had buried down, far deeper than six feet, hoping they'd never resurface. But that, you realized, was just wishful thinking.
You watched from behind the glass, feeling like a stranger to the world that Spencer now inhabited--a world where you once had a seat at his table. Now, you were the outsider, the unwanted observer. The sound of his laughter, which once was a comforting sound, now seeped through the door's crack, a mocking reminder of a severed tie. Your friendship was one that had bloomed like the first flowers of spring.
But flowers wither, and seasons change.
With Spencer out of your life, a subtle death crept over you, eroding you piece by piece. It was a death characterized by the loud allegations, the quiet of words left unsaid, and a friendship that had crumbled because he blamed you for Maeve's death.
Not just blamed, he hated you.
He hated you because you had tried to save Maeve, but you just weren't quick enough, because you couldn't beat the onset of gunfire, because you went in instead of him. You knew the cost: if he went in, he wouldn't have come back out. You didn't regret that choice. He's alive and breathing, and that's worth any cost--even if it means he never spoke to you again.
But there he stood, living and breathing--just as you intended, and suddenly your body seemed to malfunction. Your feet might as well have been part of the pavement, the snowflakes assaulting your face just as Maeve's blood did that day. Your heart threatened to burst, racing with a ferocity that set your veins on fire. You were scorching alive, and it was 17 degrees.Ā
In the aftermath, Spencer had taken himself off the grid, locked himself in his apartment, and you didn't take it to heart because his withdrawal was all- encompassing. He was avoiding everyone. But then he came back, and it was as if you alone were invisible to him. You tried, with every fiber of your being, to bridge to gap, for him to let you be his best friend again, but your attempts were met with biting remarks and thinly veiled jabs.
It was exhausting. But he was grieving so you felt like he deserved a pass. He had been through so much, more than anyone on the team. Surely, if anyone deserved a pass, it was him. However, even the most generous pass has an expiration date, and six months of disregard made it challenging to keep validating the same worn-out ticket.
So, you submitted your transfer papers to the narcotics unit. You wanted to say a proper goodbye, but you weren't sure he'd care. So, you didn't. You waited until the office was empty, then disappeared without a trace.Ā
But it didn't hardly matter that you weren't physically around him because you found yourself searching for signs of him in everything you did.Ā
When you pulled on your socks, memories of his mismatching habit surfaced, and the way he'd cheekily taunt you for your staunch preference for matching white ones. When you went to the grocery store, you'd unintentionally wander to the aisle with the dark chocolate almonds, his favorite.
Every time a swallow flitted across your path, you were reminded of him. "Swallows return to the same place every year, but not the same partner," he had once explained.
The thought always stuck to you, like gum on the sole of your shoe, because now it was a poignant parallel to your own stupid, fractured bond. Connections were never meant to endure. You knew that now.
It was too late to reverse course when he spun around, catching you red-handed. Your mouth flapped open, a fish out of water, as you willed your feet to moved forward. The need for coffee paled in the comparison to the need to leave. But his reflexes outmatched yours, and the door swung open before you could make an escape.
He said nothing, just stared, and you came to a near-instant stop, narrowly avoiding a collision. The frosty air of your breath fogged the space between you, briefly distorting your view of him, softening his edges into the Spencer you once knew.
Now that he was within arm's reach, you could discern the finer aspects of his face. He looked good, tired, but good. He always looked good, but time had sculpted his features into something more profound. His hair had grown out, curling at the ends, and a stubble now sketched the contours of his face.Ā
"Hey."
Had you not been so captivated by the shape of his mouth, the faint sound would have been swallowed by the buzzing in your ears.
"Hey," you whispered, but even that was too much for your shaky voice, breaking mid-greeting and leaving you exposed before him. "I'm sorry, I had no idea you'd be here. Um, I should probably just--"
You maneuvered around him, pushing down the vomit of words rising in your throat, consciously fighting the impulse to catalog every line of his face, cognizant of the fact that it might just be the last time you'd see him.
His hand clasped your wrist, and you were suddenly you were the newest member of the BAU again, rubbing elbows with the boy genius, telling him all your secrets with the exception of one. How madly in love you were with him. Were? Are? Past tense? Present tense? You tried not to think about it.
You were frozen in timeānot solely from the physical restraint but from the searing sensation of his touch, a feeling you hadn't known in ages, as if igniting your skin through your sleeve.
"Wait, please," he pleaded, the desperation is his voice anchoring you to the spot. You turned back to face him, finding your faces nearly touching. You shifted, intending to create space, but his grip on your arm didn't drop, so you didn't move. "How have you been?"
The question threw you off guard, and it filled your stomach with an irrepressible swarm of butterflies, a feeling so alive against the biting cold that stung at your nose.
Your fingertips were going numb.
"I'm okay, you?" A complete lie.
You racked your brain for the last time you felt okay. Perhaps it was before Spencer had started talking with Maeve. You didn't even know about it at first, that might have been the worst part. He was your best friend, and he had omitted such a significant detail of his life from you.
He just started to distance himself, forging a gap between the two of you that seemed to rival the expanse of the Grand Canyon. Perhaps it was an overstatement, but as the events unfolded, the comparison felt justified.Ā
The change began imperceptibly, almost cruelly gradual. You would have preferred a quick yank of the Band-Aid, but it was a prolonged, painful peeling. The first sign was him not jumping at the chance to be partnered on cases like he usually did. Then, it progressed to him choosing seats away from you on the jet, and finally, it escalated to him leaving the room all together when you were in it.
It was an achy feeling, an all-consuming soreness that infiltrated every inch of your being. You didn't understand, didn't know what you did wrong. It wasn't long after this you found out about Maeve.
And then, as if fate had dealt its cruelest hand, she died, and suddenly it was your fault. You became the villain in his eyes, condemned for your hesitance, and because you refused to let him die. Maybe it could be seen as selfish, but without him, you would be nothing.
Yet here you were living without him all the same.
His inspection was more thorough than you were ready for. It stirred an urge within you to shrink away, to sprint into the anonymity of the dark streets, but your feet remained rooted to the spot.
"I've been better," he admitted, eyes shining with something you couldn't quite place.
"Oh," you begam, the syllable suspended in the frigid air, but before your thoughts could coalesce into words, Spencer cut through the silence.
"Why did you leave?"
Your brows pinched together, your mouth agape as a singular heartbeat was lost--and then several more. "You can't be serious."
He looked confused. "What? No, Hotch never really told us your reasoning."
The taste of a bitter laugh lingered at the edge of your lips. "Spencer, we don't need to do this whole act, okay? We don't have to pretend that I left for any reason other than you."
"Because of me?" His hands glided upward, pausing on your shoulder, and you loathed the part of you that wanted to lean into him. "What are you talking about?"
"Are you kidding?" The words tumbled out, blinking away the tears of frustration that threatened to spill. "Spencer, I'm not stupid. I know you hate me. I know you blame me for what happened with Maeve. And I get it, you were grieving, and you had every right to be mad, and I just couldn't work there anymore."
"That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard," he cut in, his tone was sharp, yet somehow not unkind. "God, I don't hate you. I could never hate you."
"How can you stand there and say that?" you countered, your voice hurt and incredulous as you took a step away, the cold seeping into your bones and setting your teeth on edge. "You treated me like I was nothing, Spencer."
"Here," Spencer said, handing you his jacket. "You should know, prolonged exposure to cold weather can actually weaken your immune system."
"Oh," you said, slightly startled, feeling the warmth take hold in your cheeks. You rubbed your nose before pulling the jacket over your shoulders. It smelled just like him.
"I don't hate you, you know that, right?" Spencer's voice was soft, like he was whispering even though you were the only two on the street. "I'm sorry if I made you feel insignificant. You're far from it. You could never be nothing. But I was mad, and I let that get the better of me."
"But I tried, Spencer," you choked out, voice wavering, emotion thick in your throat. "I tried to save her. Maybe if I had more training, more experience... I know you wish I had let you be there instead, but I couldn't risk it, not with what I knew. And now our friendship is ruined and I--,"
"Hey, whoa, slow down," Spencer interjected, cupping your cheeks, thumbs brushing away tears you hadn't even noticed. "You think I blame you? Oh, my god, no, sweetheart. I was angry, yes, but it was because you were willing to step in front of a gun."
"You don't blame me?"
"Of course I don't," he breathed out as if he couldn't believe this is what you thought. "I'm so sorry for giving you that impression. It was never my intention."
Your emotions bubbled over into a sound that was half-laugh, half-sob. "I really missed you."
Spencer's heart seemed to shatter than mend in an instant as he drew you against him. "Can I kiss you?"
Giggles spilled out through chattering teeth, punctuating the air as a wide smile graced your lips. "You want to kiss me?"Ā
"I want to kiss you."
The idea almost seemed to sweet to be true.
"Okay."
He kissed you, and with each snowflake that settled into your hair, Spencer drew you in closer. In a way that you had only dreamed of. The biting cold was there, but it paled in comparison to the blaze that was now ignited through your body.Ā
It was perfect, everything you had imagined and more--real, warm, and grounding.Ā
He pulled away slowly, blinking the same speed, snowflakes dusting his lashes like delicate frost.
āI know Iāve beenā¦ difficult,ā he said, his voice rough, his breath wanting your frozen cheek at the same time.
You pressed a hand to his chest. āSpencer, you donāt have to explain.ā
A moment passed, as if he were thinking about your offer, then his gaze found yours, piercing and profound, as if the solid ground you stood on was suddenly fragile.
āBut I need to,ā he said, the raw need in his voice pulling your straight back into the orbit of his words. āI was angry, yes, you almost got yourself killed. But I pushed you away because it was far easier than facing the fear that I might lose you too.ā
The beats of your heart echoed loudlyāthump, thumpāin its bony cage as your fingers curled tightly into his shirt.
āEvery time I looked at you, I saw what I could have lost, and that fucking terrified me.ā
Spencer cussed, this wasnāt unusual, but the intensity behind it made you frown. His words, so honest, seemed pull you in, invading his personal space in an effort to get rid of yours.
āYouāre not going to lose me.ā
The sun was shining now, casting golden rays over the snow and Spencerās face, framing him just as he was in your mind.
āThen letās not waste anymore time.ā
You love him. Present.
For a second you thought Spencer might be wrong because maybe, just maybe, swallows could return to the same place, and the same partner after all.
taglist: @hotchhner @khxna @readergf
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid hurt/comfort#spencer reid angst#spencer reid x gn reader#spencer reid#criminal minds
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Ok ok so Time and Winds relationship
If you look at their progression of interactions through the comic, their relationship has a very distinct storyline/character arc and it's really really cool ok
So starting at the beginning (their first and early interactions).
Time likes Wind (I mean who doesn't) they have the hero connection, and there's a lot for Time to see himself in him.
Time doesn't underestimate Wind like some of the others, he knows perfectly well what's it's like to be a young hero (way too young like geez) and still be perfectly capable.
And then everyone splits up. They enter their new timeline/era thing through the portal and they separate into groups to try and find information, and Time and Wind go together. (why is that? Maybe Wind went with who he knew wouldn't underestimate him, and maybe Time wanted to get to know him a little more. Many possibilities.)
With the group split they end up fighting a bunch of monsters (of course). And the scene after the battle is just... Time takes Windās sword and compliments it, the art is so soft, it's just... it's the start of them have a really caring connection
ALSO- TIME QUOTING SHADE TO WIND TIME QUOTING SHADE TO WIND
Look of a hero, discipline with the blade... those were phrases used in twilight princess by Hero's Shade (Time's skeleton ghost thingy?) when heās teaching Twilight how to fight and become the hero he needs to be. And the fact that Time is quoting that to be Wind's mentor and guide him as a young hero is so cool. (So. Cool.)
And at the end, after the battle, Wind asks him that question, āI was wondering... about your original journeyā And Time actually answers Wind's question. He tells him about his journey, and this starts a whole new chapter in their relationship. Because guess who went into detective mode? Wind.
He starts theorizing, and actually tries to get a chance to bring it up at first (āspeaking of history-ā), but eventually finds (makes) a moment to explain his findings.
And Time's skeptical, of course he is.
There's a few reasons why, but here's the main one: Twilight. In this scene where Wind is explaining why he believes he is the hero after Time, his descendant, Twilight, makes two appearances.
But Twilight is not part of the conversation. He's sitting a distance away, and we have no indication that he even knows theyāre talking. Yet Time still looks over to him, because Twilight is his descendant. He KNOWS Twilight is his successor, but in this conversation they puzzle out a bit more of the timeline split.
And Time realizes... he has two hero's that came after him. Twilight in the main path, the one that Time previously believed was the only timeline, but there's actually more...
And at the end of that section, Timeās a little overwhelmed (who wouldn't be when you're figuring out you broke the flow of time...)
But, this is the start of Time and Windās relationship with Time knowing Wind's one of his successors
Yet even though he's overwhelmed, he touches Wind and acknowledges the facts he's puzzled out (and it's so so sweet)
Buuuuuut this starts a whole new chapter in their relationship. For the section where theyāre puzzling out the timeline, and the next, look at their faces. You can see it in those conversations, they're uncertain. Time is trying to reshape his understanding of the world (heās shaken and looks pretty tired, probably because he found out he left a whole timeline without a hero whoopsies)- but he also cares about Wind and wants to be there for him as well. And Wind looks very nervous around Time. He's excited that he knows he's the hero he heard about before him, but he's nervous about getting closer to him like he wants to.
Then Time goes into detective mode.
And thereās one thing Time really starts wondering: how the hell did Windās hyrule get flooded? It was not, in fact, a giant ocean when he left that timeline. So he asks, and Wind answers, but they donāt really start timeline talk with the rest of the group yet.
And I would like to point out that apparently Time and Wind have like. Half the brain cells of the entire group. Because we see literally no one else (at this point) has had whole sections where theyāre puzzling out the timeline, but these two are over here obsessing over it lol.
After they have those talks about timelines and kingdoms, they donāt have all the answers yet, but what they have established is this: in Windās timeline, he is Timeās successor, and they both want to be close because of that.
And then Time just like!! Adopts Wind :)
With all this build up and conversations, we now see Time and Wind spending so much more time together.
In the group they start ending up walking near each other more often, and they start fighting closer together in battles a bit more
But itās not one sided- we see Time keeping an eye on and watching out for Wind during battle, as well as Wind defending Time when a skeleton was like. Falling on them. And theyāre just working and fighting for each other and itās awesome.
And itās cool because through the storyline we see the progression: Timeās the hero dad for everybody, but then he and Wind fight together, and start talking about their journeys to each other, then puzzling out the timeline, then acknowledging that Wind is a successor to Time, and asking questions, and then we see them get so much closer throughout the storyline.
(And Time is still so close to Twilight obviously, heās his descendant and they have such a special bond but then heās also developed this unique relationship with Wind too and itās great)
And so itās just evolved into a really sweet relationship because Wind looks up to Time, and Time is kind of his mentor, but at the same time he respects Windās strength.
And the fact that in the first place Time was willing to tell Wind about his journey simply because he asked, leading to all these discussions and getting closerā¦ well. They care for each other, and it shows.
:)
#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu time#lu wind#Lu twilight#loz#lu#they just have the best bond and I love it#you can literally watch them get closer throughout the storyline and itās just *screams*#I love them :)#let me know if thereās any lore mistakes in here I tried to be careful but#let me hear your thoughts
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Okay, so, Brain Dead rejected soulmate AU but Danny is the one who rejected Tim.
Let's say in this world that there are many types of soul bonds.
You've got your standard and fairly common First Words and Skin Art.
Then you've got less common things like Shared Dreams, Colorblind Until You Meet, and Red String.
And then you've got the very rare Telepathic Bond and Empathic Bond.
Finally, there's the ultra rare, one in a million, Shared Pain* soul bonds. It helps that the flip side of this particular bond means Shared Comforts**, but still, it is not the kind of bond people hope for.
Naturally, Fenton luck dictates that this is what Danny (and by extension, his soulmate) gets stuck with.
And at first it's fine. Like, bumps and scrapes happen but it's no big deal. Then the bullying starts and Danny feels a bit guilty that his soulmate has to deal with it by proxy.
But, Danny learns how to minimize damage. And the way Danny can feel his soulmate gentle nursing the pains when he can't, indulging in extra comforts for the both of them, makes Danny think that maybe it's okay.
After all, if it was really to much, Danny's soulmate would have already rejected him.
And when Danny's soulmate starts getting a bit more roughed up when they're 13, naturally Danny returns the favor; never wishing to sever the bond, only wishing he could prevent the pain all together.
Then Danny turns 14.
Then Danny dies. But survives.
He cries that night, his soulmate desperately trying to push comfort through their bond while all Danny can think about is how he shouldn't have gone in that portal. He shouldn't have been so reckless. He should have PROTECTED them.
And to top it all off, suddenly he's not just Dash's personal punching bag. No, there's a whole host of ghostly rogues that like to come bother Danny. And maybe it was still okay when it was just ectopusses or Lunch Lady or Boxy.
But as more and more powerful ghosts come through, as the fights get harder and Danny takes more damage, the guilt over what he's subjecting his soulmate to eats at him.
And after Danny meets Vlad, the first enemy he faces that he really can't beat, he makes the decision. This isn't going to end. These fights, these pains...
Someday he's going to face an enemy that is going to grind him into the dirt. That's going to kill him again, probably slowly and unpleasantly, and Danny already subjected his soulmate to one death, he refuses to put him through another.
So Danny mentally reaches deep inside himself, real hands placing themselves above his heart.
Feeling around for the source of that gentle warmth his soulmate is pushing through their bond.
He finds it, grasping with imaginary hands while his real ones clench the fabric of his shirt.
Feels the way the warmth stutters. The sharp jolt of pain on his elbow as his soulmate probably knocks it when he realizes what Danny is doing.
Danny pays it no mind. He holds the bond between then tightly; tears welling up in his eyes as phantom arms wrap around himself, his soulmate's desperate plea for Danny not to do what he's about to.
Danny yanks, physical hands all but tearing the shirt off his chest as mental ones rip the bond from his and his soulmate's hearts.
The last pain they'll ever share comes crashing into him, the distinct Rejection scar crackling across his chest not unlike the Lichtenburg on his arm.
It hurts, but less than dying had.
Then the pain is gone. Or rather, that pain is gone.
The dull aches from the fight with Plasmius throb and a part Danny finds himself missing the soothing comforts his soulmate had provided him, emptiness filling the space they used to occupy.
But another part of Danny, the part that is more ghost than human, swells with pride knowing he has protected his soulmate from Danny's own inevitable fate.
As Danny inspects Rejection spidering out from his heart, a strange hollow giddiness settles in his stomach. It makes him giggle.
His brain notes that if Dash ever sees this, he'll assume he finally succeeded in making Danny's soulmate reject him.
Danny giggles harder.
Not that Danny will correct him. Or his friends or his sister when they find out for that matter. They worry enough about him as is. They don't need to know just how far Danny is willing to go to protect the people he loves.
He's stifling laughter now, trying not to wake the neighbors.
Sitting alone on the roof of Fentonworks at 3 in the morning, Danny laughs until he sobs, then laughs and sobs until he can't breathe, then laughs and sobs and struggles to breathe until a light blue mist comes gasping past he lips.
His hysterics taper of and he lets the now familiar cold feeling of his ghost form spread across his body, pausing only for a second when he notices the new spiderwebbing across the chest of his hazmat suit, just a shade darker than the rest of the black material.
Oh well. It's not too noticeable and if some sees it he can just pretend it was always there. Just like he's going to pretend the emptiness in his heart was always there. Where it belongs.
~~~
Tim is at the Bat Computer desperately searching for any kind of clue who and where his soulmate is.
Of course, Tim had searched before, been searching basically since grade school when it became clear his soulmate was dealing with either bullying or an abusive home.
But Tim's efforts had tripled lately. Ever since that fateful day 4 months ago when he'd practically had a seizure in the middle of family dinner.
It had felt like he was dying, the echos of electric shocks up his arm and into his heart coming through his soul bonds. Followed soon after by the sense of something terrifying and foreign opening up in his chest and forcing its way into every molecule of his body.
Tim is pretty sure he screamed.
It was several minutes before the sensations ended and a strange coldness filled his being. For a minute, Tim was terrified his soulmate had died, until the cold retreated to a place just beside his heart and phantom hands could be felt trying to comfort and soothe.
At the time, Tim thought that would be that. Some kind of terrible accident. A story his soulmate would tell him when they finally found each other.
But that wasn't that.
It started with that strange coldness never leaving the space beside his heart. Then sometimes the coldness would spread, filling his whole body for brief periods of time. Then those periods of time started to come with some kind of pain. A scrape, a bruise, sore muscles.
The kind of injuries Tim got on patrol as Robin.
Which was something he'd not been allowed to do near as much since the aftermath of that dinner when Bruce had learned what kind soul bond Tim had.
"Tim, you can't keep throwing yourself into the line of fire. It's bad enough when you get hurt, but for your soulmate to have to suffer too?"
Stupid Bruce and his stupid rules. Tim and his soulmate had been fine before, thank you very much. And it wasn't Robin that got struck by lightning or something. Tim really isn't sure what kind of accident would result in the things he had felt that night, but electrocution is at least part of it.
But since then, Tim's soulmate had been getting more and more injuries at any and all hours of the day. If Tim had been worried before distressed now. Something had happened and now Tim's soulmate who was already dealing with something before now seemed to be in constant danger. Tim needs to find them, needs to help them, make them safe.
He doesn't look, doesn't take his eyes off the news articles on the screen as a presence appears behind him. No 2 presences. And the elevator dings bringing a third. But Tim keeps scanning articles, looking for some clue about a kid getting electrocuted and a town gaining a young vigilante shortly after.
A heavy hand lands on his shoulder, gravelly voice speaking in gentle tones. "It's almost 4am son." Tim doesn't respond. Bruce sighs and spins the chair around. Dick and Alfred are both there looking concerned and stern respectively. "It's bed time."
"My soulmate is in trouble. They're not safe. I need to find them. And you're worried about my bed time?"
"You need some sleep, Master Tim. You won't know you've found anything if you're to tired to see straight." Bruce nods and Dick puts on his best big brother face.
"Get some rest, Tim. We can keep looking later."
Tim opens his mouth to argue, but pauses at the strange tugging sensation in his heart. He briefly wonders what trouble his soulmate is in now before he realizes what the almost feeling of hands on his soul bond means.
He gasps and jerks in the chair, knocking his elbow on the arm rest and the warm blanket he'd cocooned himself in to send comfort back to his soulmate off his shoulders.
Even Alfred's expression turns concerned when Tim wraps his arms around himself, trying to convey along the soul bond his plea for his soul mate not to do this.
"Tim?" Tim isn't sure which family member speaks. Can't focus on it as his soulmate yanks on the bond, ripping it and the strange comfortable coldness out.
Tim cries out, three sets of hands immediately moving in to comfort him. Sight and sound turn to static as Rejection burns across his chest not unlike the electrocution had crawled up his arm four months ago.
Then the pain vanishes.
And Tim looks up at Bruce, knows he's got tears rolling down his face, searching pitifully for a father's comfort.
"They Rejected me."
Bruce startles, but quickly stoops down to wrap Tim in a hug and Dick lays a comforting hand on Tim's head and Alfred retreats probably to make something comforting and Tim cries at the emptiness where the bond should be and the now too warm spot beside his heart.
And yet, deep in his mind where gears are still turning, Tim resolves to still find his soulmate, even without the bond, if only to ask them why.
.
This was supposed to be a prompt, maybe a premise, but I got carried away.
So now y'all can have this piece of pain I have no intention of continuing. Enjoy!
And since I don't plan on continuing, if some else wants to run with it, have at and have fun!
*Shared Pain in this AU just means soulmates feel the pain, not that they recieve the injuries. So if a soulmate breaks an arm, the other will feel the break, but their arm will be physically fine.
**Shared Comforts meaning that soulmates also share good feelings. So if one person is all wrapped up comfy cozy in a nice thick blanket, the other also feels that warmth. But like with the pain, it's a phantom feeling. Won't keep the soulmate not bundled up from hypothermia.
#dp x dc#brain dead#rejected soulmate au#my writing#I am aware that Tim is probably super ooc#Buuuut#I don't care#Blorbos are squishy so you can contort them to fit your narrative#Right?#Right
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Invisible String - Part 2
ļ½„ļ¾: *ā§ļ½„ļ¾:* ā§ļ½„ļ¾: *ā§ļ½„ļ¾:* ā§ļ½„ļ¾: *ā§ļ½„ļ¾:* ā§ļ½„ļ¾: *ā§ļ½„ļ¾:* ā§ļ½„ļ¾: *
Pairing(s): Eris x reader
Warning(s): light angst if you squint. Please be advised; future parts might not be suitable for all audiences. Proceed with caution.
Summary: You'd taken the nanny position for the royal family over a year ago, not expecting what would come of it or how close you'd grow to the child you cared for. Things became tough for Eris when his wife left him and his daughter, and he found it increasingly harder to raise Riley himself. He soon realizes, you've provided a lot more than the typical job description duties for his daughter... and maybe for him, too.
SRās Note: I added in the advisory so that younger / uncomfortable readers won't begin the series without knowing or expecting potential risks in content to come. For those who enjoy or look forward to content as such -- get excited! Nonetheless, I hope readers will enjoy this series that came to me in a dream one night. (; Much love to all.
Tags: @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @talesofadragon @rcarbo1 @mandziaaa @lilah-asteria @a-frog-with-a-laptop @kitsunetori (inbox me or comment if you'd like to be added!)
ļ½„ļ¾: *ā§ļ½„ļ¾:* ā§ļ½„ļ¾: *ā§ļ½„ļ¾:* ā§ļ½„ļ¾: *ā§ļ½„ļ¾:* ā§ļ½„ļ¾: *ā§ļ½„ļ¾:* ā§ļ½„ļ¾: *
You paced back and forth awkwardly around your room, not sure what to do with your time. Normally, you'd give Riley a bath and see her off to bed -- but not tonight. Her father had come home during dinner today, and you almost couldn't believe your eyes when he'd materialized before the both of you in the dining room.
Gods, you'd never seen her so excited to see him come home in all the time you'd known the two. She truly missed him when he was gone, just waiting to see her dad come home at the end of the day. You understood; to be honest, you worried some nights when he would be gone late, always apologizing like his timing was the end of the world. He failed to realize that it was his safe return you were more concerned with.
You paused, shrieks of laughter heard from the opposite end of the Wing and you smiled to yourself. Padding over to your open doorway, you peeked your head out, listening as Eris' faint voice spoke with his daughter, saying something that had her giggling once more before you heard the distinct sound of her door latching shut. You retreated back into your room, trying to find anything to busy yourself as the sound of his shoes drew nearer toward your room.
"Could I offer any help with the last of those?" Eris asks, leaning casually against the doorframe as he gestures toward the stack of heavy boxes piled in the corner of your room. You turn, crossing your arms and then uncrossing them, not quite finding a comfortable position.
"Um... well, I could probably get them, tomorrow." You shrug, biting on your lower lip. Eris' eyes study your face for a long moment before he chuckles, walking over to the pile and pushing up his sleeves with such grace. He lifts the top box, his arms flexing under the weight as he adjusts his grip under the edges.
You try, really, really hard not to stare.
"I'll leave these outside to be picked up in the morning, unless you needed them to be kept for something?" He asks, and you all but shake your head before he heads out of your room, leaving you in awe. You shake your head, get it together. That is your boss, for Gods sakes. You take a deep breath, pushing your hair behind your ears before reaching for the next highest box, barely reaching the upper rim before its contents nearly spill over on top of you.
"Cauldron damned-" your curse is cut off when the box doesn't completely dump out on to you, but is caught haphazardly between your hands and one of Eris'. His other one is wrapped around your waist, preventing your impending collision with the floor.
"Woah! Woah," he says, his voice much closer than you expected and you open your eyes you'd inadvertently squeezed shut. He loomed over you, holding you so close to his chest that you sucked in a breath, your eyes widening when they met his peering down at you.
"I'm..." you made to stand, and he lifted the cardboard from your hands. "I thought I could help with that one." You said sheepishly. He chuckled, glancing sidelong at you.
"Always trying to do everything," he muttered. "Honestly, I'm just surprised to hear Y/N actually say a bad word out loud."
You set your hands on your hips, raising an eyebrow and ignoring his teasing remark.
"This is my mess, anyhow. I was just trying to help."
He turns, heading for the door once more.
"Allow me to help you for once, hm?" He says, winking and walking out. You roll your eyes, irritated at how warm your cheeks feel. You flit about the room, putting random smaller items away and folding a few articles of clothing as Eris makes the last few trips. When he comes back in for the final time, he sits on the edge of your bed with a sigh, running a hand through his hair.
You look to him, noticing his exhaustion from the day again. "Thank you," you say, and he looks to you again. He offers you a small smile, leaning back on his hands.
"For all that you've done, helping you move a few boxes is incomparable." Your lips curve upward as you place a few more of your skirts inside the drawers of the dresser, averting his eye. After a few shared moments of quiet, he speaks again.
"This room... its... I'm glad someone is using it again." He says, his hand running softly over the duvet. You glance at him, his fallen expression puzzling as you go about tidying up.
"Oh?"
He's quiet again before he looks at you. "I used to avoid coming in here, after... well, after Selene left." He says quietly, and you pause. The air feels thick, you try to keep breathing evenly as your mind races.
"She... the two of you didn't share...?"
"No." He whispers, looking at the floor. "She thought only mates should share a room."
You shoved the drawer closed, walking slowly to the bedside and sitting next to him.
"I'm sure this is common knowledge by now, but our marriage was simply a transaction, a sign of goodwill between our courts." He let out a humorless laugh. "No magic, golden thread there."
For everything he'd done for his court, all the battles he'd won, every fight he'd fought and all he'd witnessed... this was a subject he rarely discussed, as it seemed tomdrag him down the most.
"Eris..." You said softly, reaching out a hand timidly and placing it on his arm. He braced lightly against the touch, and you leaned closer. "I'm so sorry that you were treated that way-"
He sniffed, his hand rubbing along his jaw quickly before he stood, your outstretched hand slowly retracting with the distance between you two.
"It's alright. Nothing for you to worry about, anyway." He flashed a humorless half-smile, and you stared up at him with concern. You could tell it was a tough subject for him, and you definately didn't want to pry; but he didn't exactly have many other people to open up to.
"Well... alright then." You say defeatedly. He nods, turning and heading for the door. He looks over his shoulder only once more before closing the door behind him.
"Sleep well, Y/N."
ļ½„ļ¾: *ā§ļ½„ļ¾:*
"Apple juice, please?" Riley asks, and you pour her a fresh glass, delivering it to her awaiting hand. She sips quietly, then blinks a few times when you sit down beside her. "Oh -- thanks!" She smiles.
You nod, silently praising her good mannered habits. You could still remember when you arrived at the Forest House, the little spitfire was ordering people around at the ripe age of three. "Give this!" and "Do that!" was all she managed, and though her heart was pure, you did encourage better etiquitte; luckily, it stuck.
"Daddy said he have a surprise," she swung her legs under the table, some of her juice swishing in her cup. You raised an eyebrow.
"Did he, now?" You weren't sure what she was talking about, or if there really was a surprise at all. Eris had made haste this morning, rushing past you this morning on his way out the door. He'd barely kissed his daughter goodbye before he was on his horse and halfway to the border-
"He did! He said he had one." She insisted, and you nodded in understanding. What it could be, you had no clue.
"Well, lets finish our dinner so we're ready when he gets home, yes?" You suggest, and Riley agrees, jamming the last of her chicken nuggets into her mouth and chewing with maximum effort. You shake your head, smiling at just how normal the girl was. You were just glad she found joy in chicken nuggets still, and didn't request challenging dishes every meal quite yet.
Insisting on wearing her fluffy pink footie pajamas, Rylie then sat in your lap on the couch, her stuffed beagle clutched in her hands as you brushed out her wet-clean locks.
"Braid it pretty?" She asks, and you leaned in, kissing the top of her little head. She grinned, holding her little beagle's head to her lips and kissing it's head just the same.
"Anything for you, Riles," you say, getting to work on the long strawberry strands. She sits very patiently for a four year old; that is, until you've secured the band at the end of your work and the front door creaks open.
"Daddy!" She's up in an instant, running to the door with glee and clinging to her father's leg the moment she spots him. You stay seated a moment longer, listening from the living area but not quite ready to see Eris yet. After the tense conversation last night, you couldn't help but feel... awkward, after the conversation.
After a few minutes, Riley has retreated to the living room looking rather dejected. Your brows knit as she stalks toward you, her beagle hanging limply from her fingers.
"Daddy says bedtime. You take me please?" She says, looking down at the floor. You frown, your hands lifting under her arms as she wraps her legs around your waist.
"Of course sweetie," you try to sound upbeat, but she only lays her head on your shoulder. You pet her head, wrapping your other hand around her to keep her propped up against your waist as you make your way to her end of the Wing. You look around as you go, not seeing any sign of Eris on your way. He literally just got home, what the Hell could he possibly have to do right now?
Once you reach her room, you place her gently atop her plush duvet, her eyes half closed when her head touches the pillow. You pull a loose blanket over her legs, knowing sometimes she gets cold at night, and kiss her little cheek one last time before moving toward the door.
"Y/N," she whispers. Your eyes meet hers in the dim light, your fingers stalling as they reach for the glowing tableside lamp.
"Yes dear?"
"Can you please read? Please?" Her bottom lip trembles. "D-daddy always reads... he reads my book..." she sucks in a breath of air, and you rush over to her bed, taking her little hand in yours.
"Yes, of course honey!" You say, hoping she will feel better. "I would love to read you a story," you look left and right, searching for any tomes near her bed. She lifts a limp hand, her finger pointing to the book resting at the opposite end of her bed.
"You'd like that one? The Kissing Hand?" She nods, one tear slipping free and running down her cheek. You hastily grab the book, and she scoots over, making a space for you to lay beside her. You scoot close, reaching an arm around her and she snuggles close as you flip open the book. Her little fingers wipe her tear from her cheek, and you begin to read.
ļ½„ļ¾: *ā§ļ½„ļ¾:*
You weren't sure when you'd drifted off, but when you slipped back into consciousness, your back ached from its cramped position on the small bed. You looked around, the darkened room coming into view as well as the peacefully sleeping babe next to you.
You must have fallen asleep reading to her, you thought. Surely you'd left the lamp on though; its glow would come in handy now as you tried to slip silently out of her embrace, sneaking out in absolute darkness. At least the door was still cracked open.
You'd stumbled around quietly enough and made it down the hallway to the kitchen, the clock on the wall coming into view.
Four in the morning. Gods.
You kept walking, feeling along the walls until you found your bedroom door, and let yourself inside.
ļ½„ļ¾: *ā§ļ½„ļ¾:*
You woke up that morning to the delicious smell of cinnamon and sugar, the comfort of your plush bed surrounding you as the first light of day drifted through your curtains. You yawned, stretching out your arms and slowly opening your eyes.
Ahh, what a lovely morning.
Morning. The sun was out.
You threw the covers off of you hastily, your bare feet hitting the cold wood floors in a rush as you lunged for your door handle. Riley was surely awake by now, and surely starving. You bounded down the hallway, your steps faltering when you heard her familiar ramblings from the kitchen and registered the smell of food wafting through the air.
As you approached, you watched in pure shock as Eris stood over the kitchen island, his hand holding his daughters as he helped her spread icing over a tray of steaming cinnamon rolls, smiling and talking along with her. He hadn't noticed you walk in; but she sure did.
"Y/N! Finally! You're awake!" She squealed happily, and you forced a smile, still confused by the scene before you. Eris looked up then, his eyes meeting yours only briefly before he went back to the treats he was making.
"Good morning Riley," you said hesitantly, stepping closer toward the island. Eris' eyes flicked up again, snagging on the silk pajamas you'd changed into before collapsing onto your bed last night. You crossed your arms over your chest.
"Good morning. Eris." You said, and his mouth pressed into a thin line.
"Morning Y/N." He said plainly before turning to Riley, lifting her off the counter and setting her on the ground.
"Bunny, why don't you set the table," he handed her the silverware and a few plates. "And we'll join you in just a few minutes?" She nods, skipping into the dining room, as Eris braces his hands against the countertop, his eyes locked on yours once more.
You stare back, shrugging when you can't understand the point of standing in silence. "What?" You ask. He sighs, biting the inside of his cheek.
"Y/N, I'm sorry for the... discussion. We had. The other night, it was... highly, unprofessional." He nodded, looking down at the pan of cinnamon rolls once more. You raised an eyebrow, a soft laugh erupting from your lips and causing him to flick his gaze to you again.
"What is funny?" He asks, seeming a bit taken aback.
"Nothing, no," you say, smiling softly at him. "I just... Eris, I live in your home. I spend every day with your daughter. I think we're beyond professional, aren't we?" You say. He cocks his head to the side, a small smirk curving the side of his lips.
"I suppose we are, then."
ļ½„ļ¾: *ā§ļ½„ļ¾:*
"Daddy. These cimanim rolls. Are. Delicious!" Riley grins with delight, Eris' expression a mirror of his daughter sitting next to him at the table. You watch the two and your heart swells; one day, you could only dream of having something so special as that.
"Why, thank you Princess!" Eris says, and she holds her chin high. You shake your head at her, and Eris' eyes meet yours, his face giving away exactly what he's thinking. After a few more quiet moments, he speaks up again.
"Bunny, I wanted to ask you about doing something fun today," he says, and Riley immediately perks up.
"Fun?" She asks, and he nods.
"In the Town Square, there is the Autumn Festival, and it would make me very happy as your daddy if you would go with me-"
"Yesss!" She shrieks, every single one of her teeth showing as she smiles in excitement. You can't help but feel so happy for her -- she deserves time with her father, and he's finally home to spend it with her, doing something she had been longing to do anyway.
"Ohmygosh I can't wait! I will wear my Princess dress so everyone knows I am a Princess, okay," she explains hastily, only pausing to take a sip from her glass of milk.
Eris nods, looking to you. "I figured you may appreciate at least a day off as well," he adds quietly, and you offer him a gentle smile. Truly, you didn't need one, but you appreciated his consideration all the same. Riley doesn't quite catch the incinuation, though.
"Y/N, you have to wear a dress. You can't borrow from me this time because you're too big," she says, hopping from her chair. "You have a dress?" She asks. Your eyes meet her dad's and his mouth opens to answer first.
"Bunny," he starts. "I don't think Y/N was going to come today," he explains. Rileys brows knit in confusion as she looks at him.
"Why not?"
"Well," he says, trying to tread lightly. "Maybe Y/N has other things she would like to do today. It's okay though; just me and you can go." He says, but Riley looks to you, her eyes looking you up and down.
"What... what else do you want to do though?" She says, and you chuckle.
"Riley, honey, today you can go have fun with your daddy, alright? Me and you play here everyday," You reason with her. She doesn't let up, and Eris studies you from across the table.
"Daddy -- can Y/N just come too?" Riley says. You sigh, looking to Eris for help, but he only stares quietly at you, a small smile on his lips.
"I really will just stay here-"
"Yes." Eris says, and you meet his eyes, Riley spinning in happy little circles at the end of the table. "Y/N can absolutely come with us today."
ļ½„ļ¾: *ā§ļ½„ļ¾:*
#a court of thorns and roses#acotar#a court of silver flames#acosf#a court of frost and starlight#acofas#acotar smut#eris x you#eris vanserra imagine#eris vandaddy#high lord eris#eris vanserra#eris acotar#eris x reader#eris x oc#eris fanfic#eris vanserra fanfic
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manifested
You were barely awake as you noticed the grip around your waist getting tighter. It was your boyfriend laying behind you, pulling you closer and nestling his head into your neck. He placed delicate kisses on your soft, warm skin while whispering beautiful things in your ear. You felt so giddy, so happy, so in love.
āPrincessā, he whispered softly, āAre you awake?ā
You didnāt answer but smiled brightly instead. You found his hand placed on your bare stomach covering you with safety and affection. You stroked the soft skin, starting with the back of his hand and ending with his long fingers.
Memories of where those fingers had been last night flooded your consciousness and made you shudder. You felt him grin into the back of your neck.
āI guess you are awake. Good morning, baby.ā
You didnāt want to turn around as you were afraid of realizing that this was nothing but a dream. Just another session of your imagination that brightened up your life.
You had sucked at dating all your life ā always being tossed aside by the guys you fell for. After a while you were consumed with your fears which resulted in you giving up dating altogether.
āNot everybody is going to leave you. Not everybody is going to cheat on you. Not everybody is going to use you for sex. Not everybody will leave you for someone else. Not everybody is a fuckboy, Y/N!ā
Your friendās words were prominent in your mind for a long time; however, you decided you couldnāt take the risk. No matter how hard you tried you couldnāt believe in the possibility of her words being true. Being convinced that no guy on this planet would ever want you ā really want you āĀ was burned into the core of your whole being.
But what if an imaginary boy could?
You often daydreamed about him, just for fun. Imagining being with the one that truly loved you made you feel better, so you kind of turned your imagination into your own real world.
In here, everything was peachy. You had no idea how you did it but the most handsome guy on mother earth fell for you. He was tall, slim yet muscular and moved with vigor. He was in his early twenties, just like you. He had piercing dark eyes, a distinctive nose and full lips. His porcelain skin was flawless and perfectly accentuated by his long, black hair. Since you enjoyed him so much in your daydreams you even gave him a name ā Sam.
Ever since inventing Sam nothing was the same for you. Hand-crafting the perfect man made you happy, seen and appreciated. You finally had the feeling that you were truly wanted for all that you were. Every day you spent lots of moments in your head imagining what it would be like to really date him.
After waking up you would place your arms around yourself and imagine it was him hugging you, wishing you a good morning.
While pouring black coffee into your favorite mug you imagined him standing next to you smiling brightly. āHereā, he handed you some sugar, āto make the coffee as sweet as you, y/n.ā
During your daily walks youād imagine him with you, holding your hand and stroking your thumb while chatting with you.
And at night, when you were left with your dirty thoughts and desperation, you imagined it were his lips on your clit sucking, instead of the pink sex toy you bought ages ago.
After a while your inner world felt so true to you, so real, that you actually felt like a different person. You were no longer y/n, single and desperately afraid of heartbreak, but y/n, happily partnered with the love of her life.
Naturally, you showed up different in the world. You had that glow, that aura, that only people who are fresh in love had to offer. You oozed confidence and fulfillment, no longer looking for someone to complete you.
Everybody noticed the change in you and approached you differently: your friends loved your sudden wholeness and congratulated you on being your best self, past lovers popped up and found their way into your DMs, begging for another chance as well as random strangers who asked you out on the street.
You rejected them all ā in your head you were happily partnered to Sam. Your loyalty belonged to Sam.
Until one day you were out enjoying some pancakes when you were approached by a guy that resembled your imaginary boyfriend a bit too much.
āYou might think Iām crazy and I probably am, but I couldnāt help myself. Ever since I saw you, I had to come and talk to you. Itās like.. I feel like I am magically drawn to you. Iām Hyunjin by the way.ā
This was definitely odd, but you didnāt think he was crazy at all. You felt it, too. You shared an intimate connection even though you had never met. Being with Hyunjin felt natural, comfortable ā as if you had been doing it all the time.
You forgot your fears about dating and heartbreak ā in fact, they never made their comeback into your conscious mind. All you thought about was Hyunjin and how he made you feel.
Desired.
Loved.
Sexy.
Confident.
Wanted.
Appreciated.
Taken care of.
Safe.
His resemblance to Sam was almost frightening ā they shared the same looks, mannerisms and characteristics. Sometimes you joked about dating your imaginary duplicate but deep down you knew it was far from comedy.
Your imaginary relationship started out as a relief, as a way to make you feel better about being lonely but somehow you managed to find a guy that was identical to your made-up boyfriend. You would have freaked out by now but luckily, he had another name, so you kept your trust in funny coincidences rather than magic.
āPrincessā, Hyunjinās kisses brought you back to actual reality. āI was thinking about taking a trip to the states to visit my relatives and friends from high school. Do you want to come with me? Say yes, please.ā
You turned around cheerily. āYou lived in the states?ā
Relationships were a funny thing ā you were fluent in Hyunjinās body language and knew his deepest secrets, but random things like past high school exchanges were still foreign to you. He nodded while his fingers were caressing your face. āYeah, for a couple of years I lived there. It was a crazy time, completely different to here.ā
You leaned into his touch more. āDifferent how?ā
āWell, the language for starters. The culture was way more open. I felt cooler in a way. Oh, and I even got another name since no American could pronounce Hyunjin without insulting my Korean ancestors.ā
Your eyes shot up in panic. āAnother name?ā, you muttered. Hyunjin nodded unknowingly.
āYeah, my English name is Sam. Why?ā
#mykoreanlove#hyunjin fluff#hwang hyunjin x reader#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin stray kids#skz scenarios#skz imagines#stray kids imagines#skz x reader#stray kids x you#skz hyunjin x reader#skz soft thoughts#skz soft hours#hyunjin soft hours#hyunjin soft thoughts#stray kids hyunjin#hyunjin x you#hyunjin x y/n#stray kids x y/n#stray kids x reader#hyunjin imagines#stray kids oneshot#skz x y/n#stray kids scenarios#stray kids drabbles#hyunjin drabbles#hyunjin skz#hyunjin smut#hyunjin scenarios#stray kids au
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Vitality | 5
Summary: You were always told heroes and villains had no place in your home.Ā Not when thereās an increase in crime, not when thereās monsters on the loose in Hosu and certainly not when the man in your home raises a hand to you.Ā All it takes is one impulsive decision to change your life forever. content: shigaraki tomura x female reader, slow burn, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, reader has a quirk, graphic depictions of violence, past abuse, past sa, angst, pstd, eventual smut, dark themes, found family LoV, mdni wc: 5.8k | prev | chapter 6 | m. list | read on ao3
Shigaraki canāt seem to figure out what it is about you that pulls you to him. Itās something that gnaws at the walls of his brain and it makes his skin itch.Ā
When heās plotting schemes ā youāre there. When heās in the field, away on missions that will progress his goals ā youāre there. And when he closes his eyes at night to go to bed?
Youāre there.Ā
Haunting his mind like a ghost.Ā
A ghost of his past, a ghost of his present. He just canāt put his finger on it but there is a familiarity in you that only he can see.Ā
Shigaraki has always had hazy memories, but this one is so distinct ā it replays in his mind at the worst of times.Ā
Is it your face? So innocent, so kind, but filled with hidden valor. Something so easily overlooked by your usually skittish demeanor.Ā
Shigaraki has taken notice of that. It was one of the first things that caught his eye about you.Ā
But is it your personality? The way there is more than meets the eye ā a budding courage and fortitude growing under the concrete of your fragile frame of mind.Ā
He didnāt know. All he knew for the time being was that this bothered him. It gave him things to think about that had nothing to do with the new society he would bring.Ā
It was a distraction.Ā
Thereās a sharp pain along the side of Shigaraki's neck and itās then he realizes his bad habit of scratching has made itself known again. Something heās been trying to work on has pried its way back into his mind.Ā
Whatever.Ā
It doesnāt matter what these feelings mean ā all that matters is his goal and his plans to bring it into fruition.
Anything else is a distraction.Ā
āāāāāāā
You have to leave today.Ā
The mission shouldnāt take long ā three days max, but you still feel anxious about it. Dabi is in charge and you trust him to know what heās doing.Ā
You donāt really trust him to keep you safe, though.Ā
It should be simple enough ā stay back, do your job and come back to the base.Ā
A quick and easy mission.Ā
Or it would have been, until Dabi paid you a visit.Ā
āDo you understand?ā his voice drags, air of boredom present as if he didnāt just turn your world upside down.
Dabi wants you to help on the mission. He wants you toā
āBut that wasnāt the plan! Iām a healer.ā
His cerulean eyes narrow, slight hint of irritation flashing over his features before it's gone again, āI know what you are. This would be more useful.āĀ
You stare at him as he flippantly waves you off and starts towards your doorway, unaware that you are sick at the notion of helping someone cause harm.Ā
āItās not optional.ā He tacks on, words ringing in your ears.Ā
You're struck still as Dabi departs, leaving you alone to bear the burden of silence as you anticipate what your new role will bring.Ā
Itās clear that youāve lost.Ā
Dabi wants you to help him interrogate the moles.
He believes that your healing would pair well with his burning. A tactic that can wear the moles down enough to give the information Dabi seeks. Itās a cruel task and one you were not sure you could go through with.Ā
You may be a villain now but you are not evil.
You were not cruel ā no matter how cruel the world had been to you.Ā
The thoughts weigh on your mind as you move to stand, nerves buzzing as you begin to pace around your room.
No, no, you were a healer. Maybe you were never intending to be a hero, but you never want to harm others either. Even if those others hold the title of villain.Ā
There had to be another way.
You stop, still in your tracks as the metaphoric lightbulb goes on in your head, steering the gears on your mind into action as the thoughts fall into place.Ā
You had an idea ā a plan.
A small smile makes its way onto your face and you feel as though youāve solved the unsolvable.Ā
Maybe, just maybe, no one had to get hurt on this mission.
āāāāāāā
The sound of dripping pipes and scatter of steps too small to be human grate your ears and make you shudder.Ā
Itās creepy down here.Ā
Thatās the only thing that comes to mind as you trail behind Dabi through abandoned tunnels.Ā
You sidestep some fallen debris and realize that the underground tunnels here are a reminder to never take the tunnels below the bar for granted.Ā
Itās slummy, itās dark and it smells like abandoned agony.Ā
There are graffiti stains along the walls, leaking pipes against the ceilings and the floors are littered with fluids of all colors.Ā
Just being down here makes your stomach twist as your body subconsciously moves closer to Spinner, who trudges beside you as you all navigate through the area.Ā
Your father would have never allowed you to roam a place like this.Ā
But heās not here anymore.Ā
And youāre a villain now.Ā
(Kind of.)Ā
Dabi is in front of you, leading the way as you all trek the halls of the abandoned underground. He moves with the confidence of someone who has seen and done this a million times. You absently wonder if he has.Ā
You knew next to nothing of Dabi. Nothing about where heās from, how heās grown up or where he got his burns ā nothing.Ā
But with his steel gaze and uninterested tone, you think itās better that way.Ā
Maybe knowing nothing could be a gift.Ā
āHow much longer?ā Spinner breaks the silence as his voice echoes through the halls.Ā
Dabi doesn't look back, only continuing his trek along the tunnels. āJust keep moving.ā
As desperate as you are to know where this trek is heading you decide to hold your tongue. The air of this place is eerie enough and the sooner you get there, the sooner you can leave.Ā
But itās odd, youāve been walking for what feels like hours and you canāt help the nagging feeling that nothing has really changed.Ā
Not until you all come up on a large corridor. One with two identical, dark pathways.Ā
Dabi stops in his tracks, leading you both to follow his actions. āAlright wannabe, you go left, Iāll go right.ā He throws you a glance, features as indifferent as his tone. āHealer, youāre with me.ā
āWeāre splitting up?ā Spinner pipes up, frustrations of the endless trail palpable and you silently wonder if sending him alone was the safest way to go.
āTo cover more ground. You have your way to contact me if you find them.ā the arsonist shrugs, mind set on the given direction and you hurry to keep up with him ā Spinner going in his respective direction with more brevity than you had previously given him credit for.Ā
Thereās a slight ping in your chest and you kick yourself for thinking Spinner couldnāt hold his own alone. He was still a part of the League afterall.Ā
You and Dabi both veer right, into the limitless corridor with dim lights sparking like they could go out at any moment.Ā
This is not a place you would want to find yourself alone in.Ā
With the crunch of broken beer bottle glass and deep red splatters of what you could only assume as blood along the walls, you truly wonder what youāve walked into.Ā
You decide to tread beside Dabi, catching up to his stride and ensuring he wonāt leave your sight.Ā
The warmth radiating from his body is as nice as it is intimidating. It shows just how hot his body naturally runs from his dormant quirk.Ā
But itās comforting. It blankets you and soothes the goosebumps that had spread across your skin in the chilled air of the tunnels.Ā
The silence between you feels natural and not forced, even though your curious questions about his past pry themselves to the forefront of your mind.Ā
You prefer this, you think. Wandering in silence while looking for the moles. You almost feel.. safe with Dabi here to guide the mission.Ā
āHeyāā
You gasp and turn back, swearing you heard another voice.
But there was nothing there.Ā
āSpinner?ā You call out into the depths of the hall, walls fading into pitch black as you stare and wait for a response.Ā
The dark abyss is quiet as you wait for any signs of movement, but everything is stock-still.Ā
You turn back to Dabi, eyes lingering on the darkness, ādid you hear thatā?ā
You look around but the arsonist is nowhere to be found. The sinking feeling in your heart deepens as your palms grow sweaty with simmering fear.
āDabi?āĀ
Nothing.Ā
He was there just a moment ago, there was no way he could have left your sight. Itās a one way hall with no other doors.Ā
No, you think, panic rising as you move to sprint down the hall, go the way you know he has to be walking, Dabi wouldnāt leave you in here alone.Ā
Before youāre able to take your next step, hands engulf you, the sheer shock causes a cry to escape your lips only to be quieted by another hand covering your mouth.Ā
āGotcha.ā
āāāāāāā
There's a sluggish and slow pull as you fight to open your eyes. Your nose twitches as your body feels like it's been thrown underwater and brought back to shore just moments before an inevitable demise.Ā
You feel heavy.
Itās a struggle to move your arm and it takes even longer for you to realize theyāre being held together by your wrists. You fight harder to blink yourself awake and itās then that you notice the voices speaking amongst themselves in the foreign space youāve found yourself in.Ā
Your vision is blurry but you flutter until thereās clarity.Ā
Their voices sound muffled, like you were really underwater as they spoke, but the more you focused the clearer things became.Ā
There were three men in this room.Ā
One had dark hair and gleaming red eyes, while the other looked to be much younger. He sat atop a dusty desk and leered at you from a distance, speaking with the third man in a tone too chipper for the line of work he must be in.
The third man in question had you held by the wrists.Ā
He was behind you, laughing as one hand held your wrists and the other roamed in places that made you feel sick to your stomach.Ā
āOh look, sheās awake. Morning princess.ā The younger one spoke, green eyes almost glowing despite the darkness of the room.Ā
Morning? No, there was no way it was morning, but you couldnāt tell up from down right now. You tried and tried, but the grogginess you felt just would not go away.Ā Ā
You move to speak, but the man behind you is faster, bringing a hand to your mouth to stop your voice before it's free.Ā
Your eyes dart around the room, seeking any form of familiarity. You only spot a worn down chair that one of the men had occupied, an old, dusty office desk and several metal wire shelves.Ā
Nothing helpful.
You try again to release your wrists, body slow moving and feeling as though it had been made of lead, but you fight with the strength you have. The man behind you only chuckles, easily amused by your struggle.Ā
āWhoa there, donāt hurt yourself. My quirk has you doped up with enough tranquilizer to take down a bear.āĀ
His quirk. Of course.Ā
You mentally kick yourself at the oversight. How could you be so naive?Ā
He leans closer, breath ghosting your ear. āJust relax.ā
You scramble to remember your training, your fighting skills, anything but it all comes up short against a real life threat. The reality of the situation only makes you sick to your stomach and you cannot believe how woefully unprepared you are.Ā Ā
You look at the two men in front of you through dreary eyes and know that it doesnāt take a genius to see where this is going.Ā
Your brows knit in frustration as you begin to feel lightheaded once more, but you desperately try to stay centered.Ā
āWe really donāt have time for this.ā A voice speaks up, it's the man with dark hair and narrowed eyes glaring at the other man holding you. You finally notice his lit cigarette and the way itās awful smell clouds the room.Ā
The sleeze behind you only chuckles, dark and low as he removes the hand from your mouth to grab your cheeks, squeezing them as he releases your wrists, knowing his quirk has made you weak enough to do so. He pulls you closer by the waist. āDonāt we? Look at her. You donāt come across this often.ā
The other nods in agreement, rising from his place on the dusty desk in the corner of the room. Even in your haze you can tell this place is dingy and abandoned ā filled with old worn furniture that wouldn't sit on if they paid you.Ā
āYeah, you should loosen up.ā He mocks, stalking towards you with a sly grin, calling back to the third member of the trio. He places a hand on your head, moving your hair from your eyes. āSheās cute.āĀ
Your breath is ragged as you struggle against the hold, forcing the man to release your face and he pins your arms behind your back again instead. āWhoa there, feisty.āĀ
His laugh echoes in your ears and you desperately wonder where your comrades could be at a time like this.Ā
The man before you watches as you search the bare room for any kind of exit, an amused smile on his face. Ā
āAny chance that Blue Flame guy will interrupt us soon?ā The one behind you speaks, and you close your eyes, knowing heās gotten you figured out.Ā
āNo way. Heās still stuck in disillusion. By the time he breaks out of it weāll be long gone.ā They both laugh at the idea and it puts your stomach in knots. Of course the other would have a quirk like that.Ā
No wonder it felt like you were going in circles.Ā
Itās because you had been.Ā
āThatās what I like to hear.āĀ
The next moments feel like a blur as you struggle to catch your breath.Ā
He is swift as he turns you toward the desk, pushing you forward and bending you over the dusty surface with ease. The panic from before is back and beating against your chest at full force. There was no way this was happening.Ā
Not like this.
You start to thrash again, even though your body feels like you're trailing it through sludge.Ā
It's pointless.
You try again to yell ā to call for Dabi who was supposed to be with you throughout this, but nothing comes out. God only knows where he could be now, trapped in some illusionary quirk, blind to the time passing by. Wandering for hours.Ā
Completely oblivious to the danger you were in.Ā
Your knees tremble when you feel the heat of the other man leering over you, it makes you turn your head, eyes locking with the third guy in the room.Ā
He meets your eyes, reluctantly watching as his comrades make lewd comments about your body and move in on your space. There is obvious disdain in his crimson eyes but he makes no move to comment further.Ā
Damn it, damn it, damn it.Ā
There was nothing you could do to shake the effects of this tranquilizer quirk. Goosebumps rise along your skin as you feel the sticky residue left behind by the other manās quirk as his hands ghost any bare skin he could reach.Ā
You were going to be sick.Ā
āThe plansā¦ā the seated one interjects, desperate to stay on topic. āWe have to rendezvous with him again tomorrow night. We canāt stay here any longer.ā
āYeah, yeah, we know.ā You heard the younger one interject, disinterest clear in his tone.Ā
āThis is our last stint working with the league. Maybe we can leave them a parting gift.ā The other breathes from above you, slowly dragging his palms along your clothed sides.Ā
The response makes the third guy roll his eyes and the younger one laughs.Ā
āN-noā¦ā you find your voice, as small and meek as it may be, you choke out a whispered plea, so faint you almost didnāt hear it yourself.Ā
āWhatās that girl?ā You can hear the grin in his words, to think you had derived a plan that would save these assholes.Ā
To think you didnāt want them to die.Ā Ā
āYou scared?ā He mocks, āwhat, you a virgin or somethinā?ā
The warm tears begin to fall, pushing past your waterline and onto the dirty desk.Ā
āSheās crying! She is!ā The blond shouts, excited at his unspoken discovery.Ā
āHow lucky.ā
The third of the trio sighs, removing the cigarette from his lips and rising from his place on the chair, but not before making eye contact with you, real eye contact.Ā
The kind that makes your heart jump at the notion ā and then you see it.
The flash of pity.Ā
Your heart skips at the flash of his reluctance.Ā
It's so firm and so clear that you can almost feel the idea of him stepping in to save you, knowing that being a villain doesnāt mean you have to be downright villainous, but your hope is crushed as soon as it arrives.Ā
Stomped out onto the asphalt along with the manās finished cigarette.Ā
The man sighs again, rolling his eyes at his comrades as he makes his way to the door, taking your hopes and wishes with him.Ā
āWell you fuckers better not take too long. Iām leaving.āĀ
And then heās gone ā leaving you with the men who will use and abuse you. There was a chance to stop something horrific but he couldnāt care less.Ā
It makes you think.Ā
It takes you back to your father and his never ending rants of how all men feel the same about girls like you. Stupid, naive and never able to stand on their own.
He put men like this away while wearing the mask of a public servant only to strip the mask and become the same of those he claimed to hate behind closed doors.Ā
But heās not here anymore and now you were left in the hands of the unfamiliar.
You canāt help the bile that rises in your throat as you wonder if this was destined to be your fate in the end no matter what.Ā
You wish you had a choice.Ā
God, how foolish had you been.Ā
How naive of you to want to save these men from the League's wrath.Ā
You should have known better. Youāve been shown time and time again.Ā
They are all the same.Ā
They would always only want one thing from you and there was nothing you could do to stop or change it.Ā
Butā¦
Thereās a flash in your mind, of narrowed red eyes and soft pale hair.Ā
You think of his gloved hand, offering his drink to you. Of his hushed laugh late that night when you unintentionally insulted him. The leader of this group of villains youāve found yourself a part of, the one who has treated you with nothing but respect since heās met you.Ā
The sickness returns.Ā
The humiliation burns at your eyes.Ā
Tomura trusted you to be here and now you will pay for it.Ā
Itās as ironic as it is cruel.Ā
You were going to be sick.Ā
āWhat a prude.ā The guy scoffs and turns to his younger comrade, bringing you out of your dissociated stupor and back to your unfortunate reality.Ā
He lifts you once more, putting your body on display for his younger friend and brings a hand around to cup your clothed breast.
Heās loose with his movements, halfheartedly holding your wrist with one hand and gloating with the other. Itās enough to leave your other hand free and you wince as it dangles by your side.Ā
You feel the breeze of the open door, pitch black outside of it and wish you had the strength to make a run for it.Ā
You were so close, like a carrot dangling in front of you face, but just far enough to be out of reach.
His words feel loud in your ears and you close your eyes, resigned to your fate.Ā āHe doesnāt know what heās missinā out on.āĀ
āOh, yeah?ā
The man tenses and thatās all you register before you feel a strong pull.Ā
A heavy hand grips your forearm and pulls with a force youāve never felt before. Itās so hot you almost feel burned but your mind is too groggy to care.Ā
And then it happens.Ā
You feel it before you see it.Ā
Blue flames erupt into the room that you were pulled out of.Ā
If there were screams they are too distant to be noted now. All you feel is heat and youāre beginning to sweat. You can't tell if youāve been overdosed by the guyās intoxicating quirk or if your mind was too stressed to care.Ā
All you can do is pant and struggle to watch as the familiar blue flames lick the frame of the door and incinerate those inside of it.Ā
(And as you watch the room bathe in flashes of cyan blue and purple hue, the sleezy men wither away into ash ā into nothing ā it finally clicks in your mind that oh.
His villain name means creation for this reason exactly.)
The men who held you before were no more. That thought alone would have sent you into another fit of tears if the heat from Dabiās flames hadnāt dried the trails of them from before.Ā
The flame user in question stands beside you, breathing heavy and teeth bared. You canāt tell if the smell of burning flesh is coming from him or the two bodies heās just burned and you donāt think you can stomach another thought towards the answer.Ā
His brows are pinched in anger and you donāt think youāve seen this much expression from the man since youāve known him.Ā
The hand holding your arm is gripping you so tight it almost hurts, but you couldnāt pull away if you wanted to.Ā
As if the idea of letting Dabi go would take this all away ā as if it would make you wake up and face a reality where Dabi is not fast enough to save you.Ā
A reality where your nightmares are realized.Ā
āOne of them got away.ā Dabi low voice rasps and you can only register that conclusion by the footsteps echoing from farther away. He ran the opposite direction, with a head start and far away from Dabiās wrath. āMaybe Spinner will catch the fucker.ā
You canāt bring yourself to speak nor nod. The effects of the quirks toxin are still sweeping through your body with its wrath.Ā
Thereās a lasting lump of dread in your stomach that makes you feel bolted where you stand. It pulls and pulls, dragging you lower and lower until you can no longer keep yourself upright.
You tense, mentally bracing yourself to meet the cold hard feeling of concrete, but somehow, the feeling never comes.
āāāāāāā
There is something to be said to those with heavy quirks. Those who have quirks that stay for much longer than they should and linger well past their welcome.Ā
The intoxicating quirk of the sleezy villain before is definitely one youāre happy youāll never encounter again.Ā
Your head feels full of cotton as you struggle to catch your bearings, hands gripping the sides of the toilet. Itās been this way since you woke up from the outing.Ā
The unpleasant remains of the toxins have ruined your stomach, and youāve found yourself here, on the floor of the bathroom for the better half of an hour.Ā
A seesaw of back and forth nausea from the quirk and the fact that those two men are dead.Ā
Gone forever.Ā
Incerated.Ā
You donāt think youāll ever forget the smell of their burning flesh and the final sounds of their screams.Ā
You wearily eye your cell phone, tossed onto the tile of the floor and locked. Itās inviting, almost calling to you as your hand hovers over it.Ā
You could call Shigaraki and tell him about the disaster mission youāve just experienced, but you stop yourself.Ā
What did you expect would happen? That he would comfort you like he did on the roof?Ā
He is your leader, not your friend.Ā
You scoff bitterly at your spiraling train of thought.Ā
If you called him now It would just be a show of how incapable you are, and you canāt risk this new home youāve found.Ā
So, instead of fighting a losing battle, you bring shaky hands to your forehead, the warmth of your own healing quirk soothing you in a way that feels reminiscent to your motherās ways.Ā
There was no use waiting around in a stuffy bathroom. Men were dead because of you.Ā
You know you shouldnāt feel guilt for it ā they were trying to hurt you ā but the deaths are so heavy on your mind.Ā
Forcing yourself to stand on wobbly legs, you walk back to your temporary room.Ā
Shigaraki set you all up with a cover home, seemingly belonging to a family of three but long abandoned. You took the room of the young daughter, the place covered top to bottom in lace and frills.Ā
You try not to wonder where sheās ended up.Ā
Your temporary bedroom is down the hall from the bathroom, not too far for any emergency nausea.Ā
And from the short distance you can see that thereās someone in your room.Ā
The closer you get to the door the clearer it becomes that itās only Dabi, seated and awaiting your return. It would be a lie to say the nausea you felt in that moment only came from the quirk.Ā
āHave a seat.āĀ He wastes no time breaking the air, thick rasp of his voice making you hesitate as you linger in the doorway.Ā
Your eyes fall to the ground as the persistent dread in your gut grows, but you do as he instructs. The bed below you feels too soft, a stark contrast from the firm one youāve grown to know at the hideout.Ā
You know what this is about, but the anxiety fills you all the same.Ā
There was nowhere to run.Ā
Dabi would tell Shigaraki of your failure today and let him know how you werenāt cut out for this. You would have to leave.Ā
You would have toā
āWhat are you gonna do?ā His dreary voice drags, cutting through your train of thought.Ā
You look up at him.Ā
āWhat?ā
āThereās one more left. Are you going to sit here puking your guts out about this or are you going to finish what they started?ā
You eye Dabi wearily.Ā
Was he.. was he trying to encourage you?
With his narrowed eyes and crossed arms this feels more like an attempted pep talk from an emotionally stunted relative than a scolding from a higher up.Ā
āIā¦ I donāt know.ā You murmur, unsure of how to heed this conversation. Shouldnāt you be on the chopping block right now? āTwo of them are dead. I think Iāve done enough damageāā
You donāt miss the eye roll Dabi couldnāt be bothered to hide.Ā
āWhy do you feel sympathetic? They wouldnāt give half a shit about you.ā He spits and you flinch at the harsh words, knowing they were nothing but the truth. āNobody cares about people like us.āĀ
People like us, you think bitterly. Villains. Outcasts. People that arenāt worth saving. People that are lost causes. There are no heroes for those like Dabi ā and now, people like you.Ā
The thought makes you choke up, vision blurring as you bring a hand to your mouth. Itās too late to melt from the humiliation of this, and the weight of the day is just too heavy to carry anymore.Ā
āThis world is cruel.ā He continues, tone even and leveled despite your come apart. āYou need to learn to stand on your own. We may not always be there to save you.ā
Itās the truth. The cold hard reality you face. You would be lying if you said those hands wouldnāt haunt your nightmares for years to come.Ā
But you wanted to try. As futile as it may have sounded. Itās why even through your tears you speak, āI-I had a plan, you know.āĀ
Dabiās brow quirks at this, head tilted in interest.
āI didnāt want anyone to get h-hurt. It was stupid, I know! But I wanted to try.ā
You expect him to dismiss you, to say how naive and even childish you may sound. You donāt expect his next words.Ā
āAnd what was that plan?ā
You look up, warm tears still cascading down your flushed cheeks and your nose probably looking less than sightly. āWhat?ā
āTell it to me and maybe we can work something out.ā His cerulean eyes shimmer with curiosity. You could practically see the gears turning in his mind as he begins to piece together his own thoughts and ideas for your next courses of action.Ā
And you think to yourself, watching as he listened intently to your words that maybe there was more to Dabiās personality than meets the eye.Ā
āāāāāāā
You thought you would never be down in the tunnels again. It was unfamiliar and cold, if Dabi were to light the entire thing on fire you would be fine with it.Ā
Each step you take through these grotesque tunnels makes the pit of dread in your stomach grow deeper and deeper.Ā
Itās unsettling to be back here ā even knowing the men were dead.Ā
You look to your right, turning down the next hall and continuing on your way.Ā
Spinner said the last one never left the tunnels and thereās only one way out. Youāre sure heās been backed into a corner with Dabi patrolling the area and Spinner lurking and listening.Ā
That only leaves you. If the man wanted to take the easier target, itās clear he would choose you.Ā
You almost scoff. Of course he would.Ā
But you were ready today. There were no more illusion quirks and no more ambushing. There was just you andā-
You stop in your tracks, the sound of a footstep slashing against water draws your attention.Ā
The nerves almost build again but you force yourself to focus. This is possibly your last chance to make things right, for yourself more than anything, but also for the mission.Ā
Keep yourself quiet and lure him in, just like Dabi instructed.Ā
His movements are sloppy, you can tell from the way he blows his cover to tackle you from the back, but the same trick won't work on you twice.Ā
You turn, fully ready to send a punch his way when he moves, pushing you to the side and through a weakened door beside you.Ā
You both tumble to the floor, the hard concrete scraping against your arms as you fight for your life with the skills youād learned from Toga. You know that with her training and your determined mind it will be all the more easy to get the upper hand today.Ā
And you do.Ā
It's a cheap shot, but you hit him where it hurts, climbing onto him when he has no choice but to coil over.Ā
Your bat was lost in the scuffle, forgotten as you pulled out one of Togaās slender knives she had gifted to you. Training with her had made you adopt many of her ways, but you were thankful for them.Ā
They remind you of how far you had come.
Remind you that no, you were not weak like you once thought.Ā
You look down at the man below you, his eyes closed as he begged for your forgiveness.Ā
You were ambushed.Ā
Your training was not in vain.Ā
āWait!ā The man below you pleads and it's now that you can see the bags under his eyes, whether it be from anguish of his fallen comrades or the lack of sleep you know he hadnāt gotten last night. It doesnāt matter, you can clearly see the cracks.Ā
You pause, holding the knife to his throat with narrowed eyes, the look urges him to continue ā to plead his case.Ā
āYou donāt have to do this,ā he starts and you have to keep yourself from scoffing, āI-I know what they did was wrong ā I know! But it had nothing to do with me.ā
Your brow twitches in annoyance, but you let him go on. This was your part of the deal you made with Dabi. You wanted a chance to hear them out, or to hear the last one out ā to see if there was any way that a compromise could be made.Ā
But now that you had the man here underneath you and groveling you felt something you never had before.
You feltā¦ strong.Ā
āJust let me go.ā His words break through your thoughts, they were tired and worn. Like he knew his time was up. āI know youāre better than this.ā
This time you scoff at the irony.Ā
Better than this, he says. As if that would have gotten you out of that room unscathed. As if being better than this would have made him step in and stop his comrades from trying to assault you.
Yeah, better than this is complete bullshit.Ā
Heās wrong.Ā
In this world there is no such thing as fairness.Ā
If you let him go, if you let him leave here thereās no telling what else he would leak.Ā
You believe this is why Dabi allowed you the freedom of enacting your plan. The plan where you wanted to hear their side, their story. But now you know better.
It's you or them. Even men who were complacent had no room for your mercy.
So with a (not so heavy) heart you stare down at the man, eyes even and leveled.Ā Ā
āHeās in here!ā Your voice echoes throughout the run down building and the man curses you, calls you every name under the sun but you cannot bring yourself to care.Ā
āYou stupid bitchā!ā
In a world like this one itās win or lose. Take or be taken.Ā
Kill or be killed.Ā
Dabi is in the room in an instant, whistling an impressed tune.Ā
āNot bad, little bird.ā His grin grows as he assesses the scene, staples pulling at his skin in ways you can only assume are painful. āI knew you had it in you.āĀ
He steps closer, gravel crunching under his boots as he bends down eye level with the man.Ā
āNow, letās get this show started.ā
#shigaraki x reader#tomura shigaraki x reader#shigaraki tomura x reader#mha x reader#shigaraki tomura#shigaraki x you#tomura shigaraki x you#tomura x reader#tomura shiragaki#my works
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PICK A CARD
ākissinā and hope they caught us.ā
what will a night out with your future partner be like?
disclaimer ā©: 18+ mature themes. take what resonates, leave what doesn't. this is my early thanksgiving gift to yāall š iām so thankful for the constant support and feedback idk how many times i can say it lol but thank you. enjoy and have a great holiday!
PILE i.
i can see you two in a club/party setting. the music is so loud it's pulsing through your veins, it's not usually your scene, but your person is right by your side holding you close. their hand is resting slightly on your back/waist guiding you through the crowd ā i feel like they'll smell really good too they have a distinct fragrance on that's comforting to you. i feel like you'll be so giddy and excited to be outside with them and be seen together. lots of heads will turn for sure. i feel like y'all are a power coupleā¦like looking at you two walking in together just makes sense but it also triggers jealousy and disbelief in other people? you and your person may come from different backgrounds or have different aesthetics but yāall pair together very well. theyāre gonna be looking so smug lollll your person is the silent but confident type, like having you on their arm will shut everybody up and theyāll love it. this person could be very popular or well-known in their professionā¦i'm getting a serena van der woodsen type of vibe so people can definitely be infatuated with them. you might not even like dancing but you will with them! you're gonna be on cloud 9 the whole night, pile 1. some of you might not smoke or drink but youāll feel high/drunk off them the entire night itās so cute! u are my high by dj snake and future vibes for sure.
PILE ii.
the atmosphere is sensual af, pile 2. it's giving the vibe of a private dinner at an upscale restaurant/bar or hotel. your person planned this out very meticulously, and they managed to pull it off without you knowing too many details. youāll be so happy to be sitting across from them and enjoying their company ā i feel like you both don't always have the time to just sit and unwind because you both have very demanding jobs/schedules. i see you two flirting a lot with your eyes and smiling so bigā¦the energy is very warm and playful. the sexual tension will be very thick between the two of you lol they might make comments throughout the night about how good you look. the lighting seems very dim and red seems to be the major theme so you could be wearing a red dress, they might give you a bouquet of red roses, their shirt might be red ā idk it's something along those lines lol the color red is just significant for some reason. the food, their company, and the ambiance will be 100000/10 and the night won't stop there š®āšØ cause when they get you back home? soon as i get home by faith evans just came to mind LOL yeah theyāre going to want to make up for lost time and please you in any and every way that they can. OKAYYY PILE 222.
PILE iii.
ah this is my introverted pile! i don't think you get out much, pile 3. if you do it's usually because someone begged you to come out and socialize or you pushed yourself to go. you like having your own space and privacy, and sometimes it's a bit overwhelming having to constantly socialize and be around a whole bunch of people that may not mesh with you. i think that your person will be receptive to this, and will take baby steps to get you out of your shell. theyād take you somewhere where you can relax and be comfortable like a drive-in movie theater or maybe somewhere in natureā¦it's somewhere you both can be alone and in your own bubble tuning out the rest of the world. i can see them holding you close and youāre leaned back against them just so content and reveling in the precious moment. itās a night youāll never forget because youāll realize just how much they mean to you, and how far youāve come in this connection. it's reminding me of that picture of ariana grande and mac miller at coachella. so so cute.
PILE IV.
y'all are that cute couple that ride for each other, okay!!! y'all will be so in loveeeeeee my GOSH the passion and desire will be so heavy and evident between you two. lana and asap rocky in the ānational anthemā music video vibes ā it's like that bad boy meets good girl trope. i feel like this person would want to take you places youāve never been beforeā¦theyād want to get all dressed up in fancy clothes and go out on the town with you. there'd be multiple activities in one night. omg they're so spontaneous it'd feel never-ending! you two will be so giddy around each other lol always cracking jokes and laughing about any and everything. i donāt think that it matters where they take you per se, pile 4. you will have the time of your life regardless. they just know how to light up every room that they walk in and ensure that everyone is having a good time! it's so cute and refreshing, ugh. they're going to really sweep you off your feet. they might have a really nice car and youāll love being a āØpassenger princessāØ LMFAO they might tease you about it too. this person will be your best friend just as much as they are your true love.
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'Familial Matters' // Satoru Gojo x M!Husband!Reader
-------āā„Ā°: āĖ-------
-!! Hints of homophobia (meeting his family / clan) Just some fluff for my blue-eyed king <3
-------āā„Ā°: āĖ-------
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Marrying 'The Strongest' certainly had its perks, but it definitley wasn't all easy-going, -- and his clan sure didn't make it easy.
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--------ā*. āā„Ā°: āĖ ā”Ė³--
Satoru loves you with his whole heart, his darling husband. You just recently married (congrats!), having been won over by the albino's boyish charms and, quick frankly, corny love confessions. Satoru had a very.... distinct way to show his affections for you. But, the man had a whimsical, childlike joy to himself that you couldn't find anywhere else, -- and you loved him for it. So, when he popped the question almost two years into dating, you were fairly quick to yell a resounding 'yes!'.
----ā*. āā„Ā°: āĖ ā”Ė³-- ------ --- ļ½„:*:ļ½„ļ¾ā
Satoru warned you from the get-go, from the very start of when you two dated, that his clan definitley knew how to make things... difficult for him. As pretty much the sole provider of the clan's prestige, it was easy to see why they'd be so reluctant to let him go. The old geezers had their nobly, boney fingers around him like a vice. And so when Gojo all of a sudden brings you around, a not-so-strong (but also not terrible- though that didn't really cut it obviously) sorcerer from a humble family, there was almost a fatality on site when they learned he had proposed to you. No way were the Gojos suppose to welcome in some uncultured peasant into their prestigious palace, allow their golden blue-eyed king to sully his reputation with you--, was he crazy?
But Satoru made it abundantly clear that his love for you was non-negotiable, so the old heads of the clan could go suck it. He wouldn't allow crap from anyone, especially not regarding you.
In fact, Satoru was reluctant to introduce you to his family at all, dreading what it could possibly mean for the two of you, and delayed any confrontation for as long as possible. But, alas, he'd have to grow a pair at some point, -- and with a tiny bit of a scolding from you, -- he put on his big boy pants and realized they needed him a lot more than he needed them. The Gojo clan was alive, definitely, but it essentially held no power in the world of jujutsu without the Six-Eyes, -- so his clan was just gonna have to put up with both of you, or neither of you. And, coming to the same conclusion as Satoru, they realized they really had no say in the matter. Satoru would defend you against his 'family' until his last dying breath
So they were left to simply shake their fists at the sky and damn whatever higher power that had given them such a lovesick heartthrob for the Six-Eyes, and reluctantly welcome you into their life of riches.
----ā*. āā„Ā°: āĖ ā”Ė³-- ------ --- ļ½„:*:ļ½„ļ¾ā
Your first meeting with them was at the traditional pre-wedding dinner, where both families from the union got together and got cozy for the future years of kinship.
It was tense, to put it lightly.
You didn't miss the disapproving gazes, especially the particularly nasty ones from the more elderly clansmen.
The fact that you were also a man didn't bode well for them. Same sex relationships were heavily frowned upon, and they no doubt worried about how this would affect the clan's reputation, for 'condoning' this kind of behavior. Satoru didn't give a damn, though. Who was gonna stop him-- no, scratch that, -- who could stop him? He was the strongest after all, the Honoured One, he could do whatever the hell he wanted, and if that meant literally bending the law to make a legal union between him and the man of his dreams, so be it. Satoru Gojo was above the law.
Some of his younger, more open clan members grew quite fond of you, actually. Who wouldn't? You were such a lovely person, afterall, -- your dazzling personality and just inherent charm won them over almost instantly. You eventually started to grow on some of the older members as well, -- maybe you were just born to charm all the Gojos. When Satoru needed to visit his clan, he'd often leave you with their company, and this was where you'd be filled in on all the clan's juicy drama and private life behind closed doors, - usually over a tea. You made sure to ally yourself with the gossipers of the clan.
----ā*. āā„Ā°: āĖ ā”Ė³-- ------ --- ļ½„:*:ļ½„ļ¾ā
Whenever Satoru had to take care of some family... "business", he'd always bring you along with him , -- both for his own sanity and to cure his crippling loneliness, -- he needed you there to soothe him everytime he got into another petulant fight with his family. He needed you there for emotional support, if he was gonna have to put up with entitled, whiney clan members for days on end he needed you to come back to.
He'd lay his head in your lap as you gently combed your fingers through his fine, white hair, sitting under the sakura blossoms in one of the Gojo Estate's many, many lush gardens. His already major head ache from his Six-Eyes magnified momentously by the clan's nagging. He keeps infinity on at all times in the estate, -- only lowering it around you. He'd rant on and on about whatever audacious demand the elders made from him, simultaneously reveling in the way you threaded your fingers through his hair, calming most of his frustration just by your soft touch. Often times you'd just gossip, shit talking was just so fun when it was about those pompous assholes.
----ā*. āā„Ā°: āĖ ā”Ė³-- ------ --- ļ½„:*:ļ½„ļ¾ā
Sometimes you could very much see crystal clear where some of the influence rubbed off on Satoru: that arrogance, the slight god-complex, even if it was played off as more of a bit. You usually wouldn't tell him that to his face though, knowing how it would trigger some insecurity within Satoru. He held a genuine disdain towards a majority of the clan's elitist and, sometimes, downright discriminatory rhetoric, desperately distancing himself from those kinds of messages, -- maybe not noticeably. You knew it would crush him, inflicting that kind of insecurity and self-doubt really wasn't your goal. Yet, you did remind him every so often when he took things maybe a wee bit too far, when he got just a little bit too big for his britches, you were the one to bring him back down.
What you didn't hold back on was teasing him about his baby pictures. It was almost comical, seeing how the playful, boyish Satoru you knew now started from such a serious, condescending toddler. It was kinda creepy, and you definitely got a kick from photos of him as a baby, alone in his crib in the middle of the night, eerie, freakishly blue eyes literally illuminating the otherwise dark room, like two bright blue flashlights were embedded into his sockets. It was always fun seeing how embarrassed and red he'd get, how quick his smug demeanor would shatter every time you'd manage to score another adorable baby photo on your phone, saving it as your lockscreen.
----ā*. āā„Ā°: āĖ ā”Ė³-- ------ --- ļ½„:*:ļ½„ļ¾ā
Bottom line: he loves you, like a lot a lot, -- and nothing that his old, pestering clan says could ever change that. he promised from day one he'd protect you from any and all danger, including that of his family. He won't take shit from them, and he especially won't take any insensitive comments about his lovely husband, either.
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[A/N]: Gonna make a part 2 but with stepfather!reader, -- if Satoru had a kid / heir prior, and now you've become a step-father to a mini-Satoru, -- only this one is much, much worse than the original, if that's even possible
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jjk x male reader#gojou satoru x reader#jjk gojo#gojo x male reader#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo x reader fluff#satoru x male#satoru fluff#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x y/n#satoru gojo x male reader#gojo satoru x reader#satoru x reader fluff
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I saw someone say they don't like Elriel simply because Azriel and Elain don't do it for them as a couple. They just aren't into the emo boy/flower girl dynamic. And truth be told? That's the most respectable anti take I've ever heard. Because there is no right or wrong, there's no points to argue. It's just like, hey, I see it, and I don't like it. Which is kind of how I feel about G*wynriel and E*lucien as well. So it's genuinely just a really fair and uncomplicated take.
I simply *don't like* forced proximity with the person that has already been assigned to you and eventually falling in love with them, then realizing it's for the best anyways because it will solve a bunch of conflicts as much as I *like* fuck fate and fuck politics and fuck the Gods, you are the person I want and I will burn the whole world down to be with you. If it goes against every rule, if it puts us in the front line of every danger, and tears at the very fabric of society, it still will be you for me and I'll do whatever it takes.
And that's just vibes, there's really not much more to say!
I *don't like* I was completely obsessed with two different women, but after being rejected by both of them I finally realized, thank goodness! I've had a mate this whole time! And I saved her from being r*ped by a bunch more men than just one years ago and then trained with her every day and now that I'm finally free of being in love with other women, I finally have noticed what is right in front of me as much as I *like* your mate is sleeping upstairs and if he catches us he will have every right to demand I fight to the death over you but I literally can't stop wanting you and needing you and questioning fate because I don't understand how we aren't meant to be together.
I know for a fact I won't like a G*wynriel or E*lucien book *as much* as Elriel because I have read those sorts of similar vibes or comparable plot points before, and it's just like, meh. Not for me. My least favorite trope is the guy who suddenly realizes his best gal pal is the one he should have been into all along after only going for beautiful women he thought were way out of his league. That's not romantic to me at all. But I respect that it is to others. I think it's perfectly okay to simply vibe with different things.
Do I think the books are quite clearly headed towards Elriel? Absolutely. But I think even if they weren't, I'd be crack shipping them anyways because I absolutely love what they have to offer plot, story, tone, aesthetic, style, and romance wise. They are the full package for me. Feysand was a full package for me. Nessian isn't my usual style or favorite trope or vibe, but I still enjoyed the hell out of it.
I think Sarah has given the sisters really distinct personalities and completely individual storylines. I personally still love every book. I adored ACOSF. Buuuuut I don't really need it rewritten a second time in a different font, which is what I think G*wynriel would be. Minus all of the "it's been you since the moment I laid eyes on you" swoon worthiness that I loved for Nesta and Cassian and introducing the "I can't believe I didn't notice my own mate standing right next to me and being harmed and put in mortal danger repeatedly for three years because I was in love with other women" element.
But ACOSF is polarizing. I've seen people say it is either objectively the best book Sarah has ever written, or objectively the worst.
Elain is a unique sister, with a personality and powers that could not be more different from Feyre and Nesta. Everything about her book is not going to match what we have seen in the series so far. And I think that's a GOOD thing. ACOSF was a tone shift, and I think Elain's book will be a tone shift. But I think her book is probably going to be polarizing as well. And it will likely be my favorite.
Although the fandom has gotten a bit aggressive, I think it's really cool that people found their favorite in Nesta and ACOSF in a way that is really kind of deep and specific. I think Elain and Elriel will be that for me. That's what books are supposed to do. Humanity is not one size fits all. It makes perfect sense that people locked into Nessian (or just Nesta) in a way they didn't with Feyre/Feysand. And although there's a crop of anti ic people out there now, Feysand will always be a crowd pleaser. So I'm just hoping the girlies who get it will have their chance to connect that deeply with Elriel too!
I love each Archeron sister, and I for one love how different they are. I appreciate their stories for different reasons. But I am ACHING for Elain and Azriel to lean into their vibes and continue on their journey of questioning the system and deconstructing religion and battling the obstacles in their way. That will always be more interesting and way sexier and peak romance to me and will undoubtedly take spot number 1 in my heart.
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Hiiiiiii. Episode 25/26 lawlight analysis rant thingy here. I don't know how to write an intro for this so let's just get to it LOL
I think one of the reasons that the rain/foot scenes stick out so much (the. Sheer insanity of a Foot Massage Scene in an anime revolving around two guys trying to kill each other aside š) is the fact that the anime specifically suffers a bit in terms of adapting a few of the "emotional" moments in death note.
And I don't mean "emotionally impactful" exactly. For example I think the adaptations of scenes like Raye and Naomi's deaths were very impactful and the atmospheres of their final scenes were great, but I mean more from a characterization standpoint (if that makes sense). Being more focused on mind and logic games, Death Note as a whole isn't as invested in individual characters' deeper feelings as it is in its action (which isn't necessarily a criticism per say, it's simply part of the nature of a mystery thriller series). But just because they're fewer and farther between doesn't mean there are none at all. In the manga we do get to see, for example, how much Light actually cared for his family and especially Sayu, and how he actually felt more conflicted and suffered lack of sleep/appetite when he first used the Death Note.
The anime specifically as an adaptation is pretty good at adapting the main mind fuckery and action of Death Note, but its lacking in properly adapting scenes like the ones I mentioned above is a criticism I see somewhat often, and it's pretty fair imo. Compared to all the other adaptations, it certainly seems to fall short on an emotional level: the musical has entire songs going in depth about the characters feelings and relationships, the 2015 jdrama is. Insane and has its emotional moments in spades (because it's a TV drama, which are more focused on portraying emotional conflict and the like), even the 2006 movies has its emotional beats and L Change the WorLd is. Well. Oh Man.
Anime Light to a lot of people is like. Light but he's "already evil" (which I have my own thoughts on but I digress). Light but after using the Death Note for like 2 minutes he's already like "fuck yeah time to kill criminals". Basically the anime doesn't take as much time to delve into his less cynical sides or really delve into his already vague and harder to decipher feelings in general, he is noticeably colder from the get-go here, etc.
But that's part of why I think episode 25 manages to stand out so much tonally (apart from it being, y'know, the episode L literally Dies). I love the episode so much and could probably rant for hours about how much I love the artistic choices made in it but what I'm trying to get at here is that it's one of the very few moments where the show tries to go deeper into specific character's emotions, and one of the very few moments where the show Attempts (emphasis on "attempts" because, well, you'll see in a bit) to get more in-depth into Light's feelings apart from his cynicism/apathy/justice. ness.
L in these two scenes in episode 25 is, well, pretty damn open about how he feels. It's usually interpreted as him knowing that he's going to die, and you can see it. He visibly looks/sounds lost, somber, etc. He never really had much to hide around Light to begin with (since he doesn't really care about hiding himself the same way Light does) but especially not now and it Shows, and I personally thought it was pretty cool to delve into his thoughts/show how he feels this way. The somberness can be felt throughout the entire scene, even people who don't already know the plot of Death Note from the manga could probably tell that he's about to die.
In the manga, once L starts suspecting Misa again and Rem realizes what Light is trying to do, it goes straight to Watari and L's deaths, but the anime instead gives a distinct and unexpected pause in the middle of this where L contemplates his own death. It's fucking great, and the shift from straight action to slower emotional weight makes these scenes stand out a lot, since, like I said, the show usually focuses more on the former. But it's kind of ironic, too.
Not only does the anime open up L's feelings more in these scenes, but it also tries to dig deeper into Light's feelings as well through L. And it's really funny honestly because while, yes, these are the more "emotionally open" scenes of the anime Light still manages to be Incredibly avoidant and contribute almost nothing to the entire ordeal.
L is visibly upset -> "Yeah Ryuzaki, you're not making any sense at all" (Not addressing the obvious conflict from L)
"Tell me, Light. From the moment you were born, has there ever been a point where you've actually told the truth?" -> "[The most stale, over-explained, avoidant answer to a "yes/no" question that you could ever hear + blatant attempts to reframe the question]"
(L's half-smile here kills me) "I had a feeling you'd say something like that" -> [Nothing]
"I'm sorry" -> [Nothing]
"It'll be lonely won't it? You and I will be parting ways soon" -> [Nothing]
^ From this point Light continues to say literally Nothing for the rest of the scene. I'm not even joking, from then on the rest of Light's voicelines are reduced to nothing but vague noises of confusion.
Everytime L calls Light out as a person ("Has there ever been a point where you've actually told the truth?" / "I had a feeling you'd say something like that." / "Won't it be lonely?") he doesn't actually acknowledge anything. Out of those three lines, he only answers verbally to if he's ever told the truth, and even then it's the most blatantly people-pleasing answer ever, as it usually is with Light. And I don't think it's because Light just. Doesn't care about any of what L's saying at all, or that he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about (questioning Light's authenticity as a person, saying it would be lonely when they part), instead he's choosing not to acknowledge any of what this means about himself or him and L at all. He's like a fucking wall.
And like, for the truth question in particular, the show makes sure that you know it's not something that Light just. Doesn't care enough about to answer. The hard cuts to silence are a very rare but extremely effective way that the show conveys an extremely important moment (see: Light regaining his memories, Matsuda noticing Light opening the warehouse door before he escapes (not as much of a "direct" cut to silence but still)), and cuts to multiple angles/framings/zooms of the exact same shot are also used for the same purpose (see: Light hugging Misa when she was crying, Matsuda aiming his gun to shoot Light, Light regaining his memories Again). Just like the scene where Light gets his memories back, the moment L's question finishes the show utilizes both. That question cut Deep. There's is a solid Almost 5 seconds of silence before the sound of the rain gradually starts fading back in, and honestly that should be telling enough as is (but of course Light doesn't actually admit that. Or anything at all really, so). Oh also another fun detail! We do not see Light's face At All (except for the shot where you can see his mouth moving but not his eyes), for the Entire time that he's going on his spiel to L. We Will Be Revisiting This Later, by the way. This is not, in fact, the first time you're going to see this detail from Light.
The only sort of reciprocation that we see from Light during Any of these two scenes is when Light dries L's hair while L dries his feet. Biblical meanings/references aside it's interesting because it's the only time he directly does anything "for" L in these scenes, but even then he doesn't try to pass it off as anything meaningful really the same way L does ("You're still soaked", a purely neutral and factual statement. It doesn't Add Anything compared to L's. Sin atonement loneliness grieving stuff. While Light is showing his own reciprocation to this more personal moment he also tries to keep it impersonal enough that it doesn't actually have to mean anything deep). And when L says "I'm sorry" after he once again gets no response from Light. It's also after this that L gets that pained look on his face, like he knows that at this point he's not actually going to get anything meaningful from Light (again, very significant and rare from L in the show. We've seen him in distress (see: when Ukita died, hell, when Watari dies), but even then he mostly manages to keep his usually neutral expression), we never see him "look sad" like he does here):
I just think it's interesting that this is one of the few scenes in this particular adaptation of Death Note where they try to open up the character's thoughts/feeling (especially considering the fact that they. lowkey blunder in adaptations of original scenes from the manga), and L himself is being rather open (not that he ever really tries to hide what he thinks nearly as much as Light), and yet all Light contributes to it in return is like. Actually nothing. Bro fumbled it. There is no resolution to any of this, to any of what L asks at all, to any of the many opportunities for a meaningful conversation, and the only thing even relatively close to an answer that you can get from Light is what you can infer from how he acts in the episode after L dies, where he's just going through the motions, but hardly acting as if he's actually living at all.
(Honestly I think the transition from this scene with the taskforce to the subsequent scene with Misa says enough on its own. Light's expressions and tone says everything:)
(Oh sidenote but. This shit again:
"Light, this is our first date in forever. can't you enjoy yourself a little more?" ('Why don't you seem happy? We can finally be together since L is dead') -> No response, Light instead changing the topic to him wanting to move in with Misa without changing his mannerisms at all
Also there's that one detail again. You pretty much don't see Light's expression when he speaks here at all, except for one shot of his eyes, which is quite literally the exact same shot they used when he "saw" L, just altered for the new setting. You have No idea what he looks like when he's responding to Misa, although it's probably fair to assume that it's the same empty stare he has for the whole Two Shots where you can clearly see his whole expression in the entire scene.
Something something Light Yagami bad at feelings I think you get the point though)
I guess Light's Kind of showing what he's feeling now? He'll admit to himself that it's boring without L, but no more than that. Light never actually admits to anything "significant", and L's dead already anyway, so what would that even do?
And then we get, uh. Basically nothing from Light. For the next 5 Years. Except that he joined the NPA, so, uh, yay? Good job, Light you totally nailed it! Thank you for allowing us as an audience to delve deeper into your inner thoughts and feelings as a character so we can find out more about you as a person! Very helpful! Thank you for not sabotaging one of your few dedicated opportunities to look into yourself as a person and reflect on your relationships with others and being 100% honest with yourself! We stay winning guys.
Anyway, this got way too long for a scene that's over a decade old, and I've probably just said everything that everyone else has already said in this fandom before. But unfortunately this has been living in my head for way too long and I must scream. I just think this episode's neat is all :)
tl;dr Part of the reason why the rain/foot scene (tbh episode 25 in General) stands out so much is because the Death Note anime specifically was a bit robbed in terms of its more emotional character moments compared to the other medias, which makes more somber/introspective scenes like the ones in episode 25 stand out a Lot in comparison. But it's also incredibly ironic because it's one of the few moments where the show (or specifically L) tries to look deeper into Light's character, but because he is so avoidant for the entire duration of these two scenes he adds basically nothing at all. It's almost funny. Mostly sad. It's also very gay. Aand post
Okay actually nevermind one more thing I talked about how the jdrama is supposed to be more emotionally in-depth because it is a TV Drama and just for the record, same thing happens there! I could probably do an entire analysis of the Blue Scene in this context like I did with episode 25 but I'd literally be here forever, so uh, just take this iconic line as my main example:
Same Thing. L's statement "I wish we could have met some other way" is personal. It's his own wish, his own regret that he is expressing to Light. While Light's reply obviously has that same regret implied it's also phrased in a specifically impersonal way. It's closed off. "This is the only way we could have met" it closes off the topic and simply renders L's wish as ultimately futile. Light does not say that he Also wishes he could have met L a different way even if it was likely impossible, instead it's a cold statement of cynical fact.
Idk just. Something something L being able and Willing to be more openly sentimental/emotionally open towards Light/about Light vs. Light's inability to be honest with anyone including himself and his own nature preventing any form of meaningful reciprocation. Something something self-sabotage, y'know the drill. God don't even get me Started on how sincere L's tone is when he says "It'll be lonely won't it?"(at least in the eng dub) in the anime I could talk about his tone in that scene for ages. Also yes all of this relates to L Change the WorLd too by the way. Don't ask how it just does okay.
I do think that scenes like these (rain/foot scene, The Blue Scene. Uh. L Change the WorLd The Novel Adaptation) show, at least in those adaptations, that L does genuinely care for Light, and show that he values him as a friend not just in the mindgame-equal sense but also just like, a more sincere sense you know. Idk if that made any sense and that's a whole other topic for another day but you guys just have to believe me on this one alright please please believe me buries head in hands. Okay post over finally thanks for coming to my tedtalk hope you enjoyed my very-unnecessarily long analysis of the week
#death note#dn#light yagami#l lawliet#lawlight#death note anime#coda analyzes stuff#sorry this is all very scattered and probably doesn't make sense i wrote this on a whim one day and then the post had a mind of its own#this was originally gonna be shorter but then light yagami (derogatory) happened#it was so difficult to avoid going on 27450438 different tangents i love this series btw#you know my post about LCtW parallels with Light post L's death. yeah pretend i copy pasted that whole analysis here too#it also applies and is very relevant#death note multiverse my beloved i will love you forever#i just ran this through a word counter 1K+ word rant about these scenes. in 2024. God i'm Cooked#^ LMAOOOOOOOO (laughs in ~2.5K wordcount weeks later at the time of finally finishing writing this) god I Hate it here#also sorry i havent been posting a lot of art lately i'm busy and i've decided to save up all my Art Energy for lawlight week#so i've just been finishing off and posting analysis that have been floating in my drafts.lawlight stp au parallels/notes are probably next#sorry not sorry </3
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Doesn't Mind At All | Hong Joshua
Pairing: Secretary!Joshua x Baker!Reader (Ft. Boss!Junhui and Brother!Mingyu)
Genre: Romance, fluff, longtime crushing
Summary: Hong Joshua willingly agrees to pick up his boss's daughter from school, not realizing that this simple task would lead to an unexpected encounter with his longtime crush.
In the bustling halls of the company, Joshua was a familiar face. His presence was like a ray of sunshine, brightening up the office with his infectious smile and angelic personality. It was no secret that he held a special place in the hearts of many, having won the coveted title of "Best Office Crush" the previous year, even surpassing the CEO, Moon Junhui.
Joshua wore this badge with a quiet pride, knowing full well that his boss's concerns mainly revolved around the company's products and reputation. As he marked his sixth year as Junhui's faithful secretary and personal assistant, he couldn't help but marvel at the milestone. It was a record that stood unchallenged, a testament to Joshua's unwavering dedication.
Nobody understood Junhui quite like Joshua did, save for perhaps Junhui's own wife. When it came to the intricacies of Junhui's professional mindset, it was said that only Hong Joshua had the finesse to meet and exceed the exacting expectations. This was precisely why Joshua was regarded as the company's most precious gem.
Behind every successful CEO, there was an exceptional secretary, and for Moon Junhui, that shining star was none other than Joshua. Their dynamic was like a well-choreographed dance, a seamless blend of professionalism and camaraderie. They were the dynamic duo, the unsung heroes of the corporate world.
Joshua was renowned for his quick wit, tireless work ethic, and a personality that could charm even the most hardened hearts. His reputation had earned him a multitude of labels, particularly among the female officers, who couldn't help but marvel at the creation of such a seemingly perfect human being. Despite his friendly demeanor, Joshua was adept at setting clear boundaries, creating a distinct line and an almost impermeable wall when it came to romantic interests ā a trait that some of the women officers considered to be his only flaw.
Approaching a group of women engrossed in a discussion (or rather, gossiping) about him, Joshua balanced a pack of coffee cups in his hands. With a gracious smile, he handed them out, congratulating them on the success of their recent event two days prior. "You're an angel, Mr. Hong," one of them swooned, to which Joshua graciously thanked her.
Another voice chimed in, "Mr. Hong, may we ask you a few questions? We've been discussing something about you, and it would be wonderful if you could satisfy our curiosity." Joshua settled into a seat, joining their circle. "And here I thought you guys were deep into discussions about our ramyeon drama project," he teased, eliciting chuckles from the others.
"We're actually really-really-really eager to know if you're single or taken," one of them blurted out, while another followed up with, "we've been speculating, and we have absolutely no idea!" Joshua's face reddened in response to the question, and he couldn't help but cover his face in playful embarrassment. What had he done to warrant such a query? Was he unintentionally giving off some sort of signal? The thought left him chuckling and slightly flustered, a rare sight for the usually unflappable secretary.
"Yeah! Absolutely. You gave us this. Yesterday you sent an email of appreciation to our rookie without her knowing that everyone received that as well and has been thinking that you like her. You've been committing a crime, Mr. Hong."
Joshua's brow furrowed as he listened to the explanation. "I can't do that?" he asked them, and they all simultaneously nodded in agreement. "Why?" he inquired once more, prompting a collective groan of exasperation from the women.
"You've been lavishing affection on the women in our company, the kind they haven't received from anyone else, all while displaying a sign that you have zero interest in dating any of them. That's just not right, Mr. Hong."
Joshua nodded, absorbing their words. "I'm sorry?" he offered, glancing down at the cups of coffee he had just handed out. "Should I take these back?" he gestured towards the beverages.
"Just stop sending affectionate emails and notes like this. At the very least, delete the heart emoticon," one of them instructed, holding up a note that Joshua had written, no doubt adorned with an affectionate flourish.
'Good job for the event guys! So proud of youš¤.'
"That's just a habit of mine! I'm sorry, I'll definitely work on that," Joshua offered, his voice carrying a hint of remorse as he mumbled his apologies.
"So, Mr. Hong. Are you single or taken?" inquired one of them. Joshua's smile widened as he answered, "I'm single."
To his surprise, this response was met with another collective groan from the group, leaving Joshua thoroughly perplexed. "Why? Did I answer it wrong? I'm not quite getting it," he admitted, his brow furrowing in confusion.
"You should never answer that kind of question with that kind of smile," one of them advised. Joshua nodded and hummed in understanding, contemplating whether he should spend more time observing and learning from this group of women. It seemed they held the key to deciphering the intricacies of office dynamics.
"Why are you single? I can't imagine it would be hard for someone with such an amazing face and personality to find a significant other," one of them remarked, their words laden with genuine admiration.
Joshua closed his eyes, momentarily overwhelmed by the shower of compliments. He joked that if they continued, he might just consider joining their group.
"I work really hard for the company, and I find it hard to make time for dating," Joshua explained, giving voice to their curiosity. "While I do find some women attractive, it's just that I struggle to strike a balance between my professional and personal life."
"Is there anyone you have in mind, perhaps?" another one queried.
As the seconds ticked by, a portrait of someone from his past suddenly emerged in Joshua's mind. He nodded slowly, acknowledging that there was indeed someone he had in mind. "Ah, my university crush," he quipped, breaking into laughter.
*
Joshua's gaze never wavered from his computer screen, immersed in the tasks that lay before him. The soft tap of approaching footsteps disrupted his concentration, and he turned to see his boss, Moon Junhui, standing beside him. Without hesitation, Joshua rose from his chair, a show of respect for the man who held a significant place in his professional life.
"I'm so sorry, but can you do me a favor?" Junhui's tone held a touch of urgency, a request layered with a sense of trust that Joshua had earned over the years.
"What time is my meeting next?" Junhui inquired, his focus on the packed schedule that dictated his day.
"At 2 PM, sir," Joshua replied promptly, the words rolling off his tongue with a practiced ease. He prided himself on his meticulous attention to detail, especially when it came to Junhui's demanding schedule.
Junhui nodded in acknowledgment, his mind already processing the logistics of the day ahead. Then, his expression softened, and he confided in Joshua, "My daughter, her school is off at 3 PM. I promised my wife to take her with me since her nanny is having her days off. I worry if I'm still in the middle of a meeting at that time." said Junhui about his 5 years old daughter.
Joshua's bond with Hara had grown into a heartwarming routine. It was a familiar sight for the office staff to see Joshua and Hara immersed in various activities. The young girl's intellect and remarkable patience made her a delightful companion, a rare gem in her tender years. Whenever Junhui found himself entangled in meetings, Joshua gladly stepped in to keep Hara company. They'd sit together at Joshua's desk, engrossed in creating art, crafting intricate bracelets, or simply sharing stories of Hara's adventures.
"I can pick her up, sir," Joshua proposed, eager to assist his boss and provide a helping hand.
Junhui's eyes reflected gratitude, a sigh of relief escaping him. "Thank you so much," he expressed, the weight of his responsibilities momentarily eased by Joshua's kind gesture.
"My wife is not feeling very well this morning, that's why I didn't want to trouble her. Thank you so much, Mr. Hong," Junhui reiterated, his appreciation genuine and heartfelt.
As the day approached for Joshua to pick up Hara from school, a mixture of excitement and nerves fluttered within him. This was uncharted territory for him, the first time he'd take on the responsibility of fetching a child from school. Determined to ensure everything went smoothly, he turned to the internet for guidance. His search yielded a concise list of tips, each one etching itself into his mind:
1. Make sure the school knows who you are and that the child is aware and comfortable with your presence.
2. Prioritize the child's comfort and well-being throughout the process.
3. While not obligatory, a snack can often be a reassuring gesture.
4. Engage the child in conversation about their day on the journey home.
With this newfound knowledge, Joshua prepared himself meticulously. He reached out to the teacher, providing them with his contact details and informing them of the situation. He wanted every precaution in place to ensure a smooth transition.
As the hour approached, he found himself behind the wheel, heading towards the school with a sense of determination. The address provided by Junhui led him to the school's gates, where he joined the gathering of parents. Amongst the mothers, Joshua stood.
Time seemed to stretch as he waited, the anticipation building with each passing minute. Finally, the school bell rang, heralding the end of the day. Joshua's gaze fixed on the entrance, heart pounding in anticipation.
Then, there she wasāHara, with her bright eyes and eager smile. Recognition sparked between them, a silent affirmation of the trust they had built. As Hara approached, Joshua's apprehensions melted away, replaced by a newfound confidence.
As Hara's small voice called out, "Uncle!" with uncontainable excitement, Joshua's face lit up with a wide smile. He knelt down, arms ready to receive the approaching bundle of joy. The little girl rushed into his embrace, her tiny arms outstretched in pure delight.
"Hi Hara!" Joshua greeted her warmly, the affection in his voice mirroring the twinkle in his eyes.
Hara, her eyes sparkling like stars, peered up at Joshua with a curious glint. "Is daddy busy?" she inquired, her innocence adding a touch of sweetness to the question. Joshua nodded gently, his expression tender. "Yes, sweetie. That's why I'm the lucky one picking you up today. Are you excited?"
Hara's response was a burst of unrestrained enthusiasm. Her head bobbed up and down like an animated doll, her voice a melodious chorus of, "Yes, yes, yes!" Her anticipation radiated from her like a beacon of pure childhood joy, painting the air around them with an infectious excitement.
As they strolled towards the car, Hara, her small hand nestled in Joshua's, turned to him with a curious look. She inquired about her father, Junhui, if he had his lunch this afternoon. Joshua pondered for a moment, recalling whether Junhui had managed to grab lunch before diving into the meeting. He was certain Junhui hadn't.
"Can we stop at the bakery near my school? I want to buy him and you my favorite cupcake," Hara proposed, her eyes wide with hope. Joshua couldn't resist her earnest request. After all, who could say no to cupcakes? It was a harmless indulgence.
Upon arriving at the bakery, Hara's eyes widened, a sudden gasp escaping her lips. Instantly, Joshua's protective instincts kicked in, a rush of concern washing over him. He swiftly turned to Hara, asking with a gentle urgency, "Are you okay?"
Hara's confession, delivered with the innocence only a five-year-old could muster, both touched and amused Joshua. She looked up at him, her big eyes filled with a mixture of vulnerability and honesty. "I don't have any money."
Suppressing a chuckle, Joshua crouched down to her level, his tone reassuring. "It's okay, sweetie. I'll take care of it." As his words washed over her, a radiant smile lit up Hara's face, the worry dissipating as swiftly as it had come.
As they stepped into the bakery, a hush settled over the empty space, the only sound being the faint hum of refrigeration units. They ambled through the inviting displays, each dessert a potential treasure trove for Hara. She nestled in Joshua's arms, torn between the allure of a cupcake and the temptation of a cookie.
"Why not both?" Joshua's voice, tender and reassuring, broke the internal struggle Hara was facing. Her eyes lit up with a mixture of surprise and delight. "Is that okay?"
With an eager nod, Hara's decision was made, and Joshua promptly collected both the coveted cupcake and the enticing cookie. The radiant smile that bloomed on her face was Joshua's reward, but it was the soft, whispered "thank you..." that danced in his ears that truly warmed his heart.
Just as they were immersed in this sweet exchange, a sudden, welcoming voice enveloped the bakery, pulling Joshua's attention away from the confections. "Welcome to Sweeties..."
Joshua's breath hitched, his gaze swiftly shifting from the colorful array of treats to the source of the voice. Standing a mere two meters away was a familiar face, one that sent a jolt of surprise and recognition through him. It was Y/n, his dear friend from college.
"Wait just a minute, Hara," Joshua gently set her down and took a step toward the woman, a sense of pleasant shock mirrored in both their expressions at this unexpected reunion.
"Y/n, it's been such a long time!" Joshua's voice bubbled with genuine joy, his smile growing wider as he caught sight of Y/n's matching grin.
"I thought I was imagining things. I had no idea you were in Seoul," Y/n admitted, her surprise blending with a palpable delight.
"Yeah, it's been 7 years since I moved here. How have you been?" Joshua inquired, his tone filled with a mixture of curiosity and genuine care. The air around them seemed to buzz with the energy of reconnection, weaving a bridge between their shared past and this unexpected present encounter.
"I'm doing great, and you? I've spotted her around a few times," Y/n mentioned, her gaze shifting towards Hara who was now engrossed in examining the colorful macarons displayed on the stall.
Joshua's eyes twinkled with fondness as he observed Hara's fascination. He turned back to Y/n, a warm chuckle escaping him. "I'm good too. Her school is just a few blocks from here. Can you believe it? It's like a dream come true," he remarked, a subtle nod towards the array of delectable pastries that surrounded them. He knew of Y/n's long-standing dream from their university days to own her own bakery.
Y/n offered a nonchalant shrug, but there was a glint of contentment in her eyes. "I know, right? It's been two years, and it's become my favorite job."
Joshua's gaze wandered to Y/n's hands, and there, he spotted a delicate ring adorning her middle finger. He couldn't help but ask, curiosity laced with a touch of surprise, "Are you engaged?" Their eyes met, and Y/n hesitated for a moment, her gaze flitting towards Hara before she softly affirmed, "Yeah," with a slow, affirmative nod.
The next question carried a weight of intensity, as Joshua inquired, "Are you happy?" His concern for Y/n radiated through his gaze. She met his eyes steadily, her response deliberate and sincere, another nod indicating her contentment.
As their conversation flowed, Hara made her selection of treats. Just as Joshua was about to pay, Y/n interjected, her voice carrying a note of generosity. "It's on the house."
Joshua's immediate response was to decline, insisting they were purchasing quite a bit and it wouldn't be fair to receive them for free. Y/n countered with a tempting offer, "Alright then, how about coffee? Still a fan of your Americano with two shots?"
A laugh bubbled from Joshua, the sound warm and genuine. It seemed Y/n knew just how to strike a deal that left everyone feeling content and connected in this unexpected reunion at the sweet haven of her bakery.
As they settled into the car, Hara's voice, laced with curiosity, broke the brief silence. "Do you know her, uncle?" she inquired. Joshua, his focus on the road, let out a thoughtful hum. The engine purred to life, carrying them away towards the office.
Then, unexpectedly, Joshua's voice filled the car, carrying a note of nostalgia. "She was my first love in college."
Hara's wide eyes sparkled with intrigue. "Really? Were you two dating?" she asked, her young mind eager for the details. Joshua, his gaze fixed on the road ahead, shook his head with a soft smile. "We were friends from the first day of college, but I never mustered the courage to confess. Seeing her again after all these years was quite a surprise."
Hara's curiosity continued to swell, her innocence driving her to probe further. "Why didn't you confess?" she wondered aloud.
A tender sincerity colored Joshua's voice as he explained, "I didn't want to risk losing our friendship."
Hara pondered this for a moment before pressing on. "But did you ever try to confess?" she inquired, her young eyes studying Joshua's face for any hint of what might lie beneath his words.
Joshua, his gaze softening, shook his head gently, the weight of the past mingling with the present. It was a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken feelings that had lingered.
Hara's little face contorted into a playful pout, her dad's wisdom echoing in her mind. "My dad says that trying might hurt but it'll be worth it," she mused, her voice tinged with a mix of contemplation and innocence. Joshua couldn't help but be touched by the profound simplicity in her words, a wisdom that belied her tender years.
Listening to Hara's musings, a soft smile played on Joshua's lips. He decided to seize the moment to seek her opinion on the matter. "Honestly, I have no idea what that means," Hara replied nonchalantly, the weight of her father's advice not yet entirely comprehensible to her young mind. Meanwhile, she nibbled contentedly on her macaroon, the pastel hues of the sweet treat contrasting with her contemplative expression.
Joshua, amused by her response, seized the opportunity to ask about the taste of the macaroon. "Is that good?" he inquired, his tone filled with genuine interest. Hara's enthusiastic nod affirmed her satisfaction, her eyes bright with the pleasure of the delightful treat.
"Thanks for buying me, Uncle. I'll pay you back once I grow up!" Hara declared, her gratitude expressed with a sincerity that warmed Joshua's heart. He nodded, deciding to play along with her lighthearted promise.
One time, two times, and then countless more, Joshua found himself in the routine of picking up Hara from school. What started as a simple request from his boss had evolved into a regular volunteer role for him. The smile on Junhui's face whenever he saw them together spoke volumes. It was clear that Hara cherished these moments with Joshua, and the journey from school to her father's office was transformed into an exciting adventure.
Reason number one for Joshua's eagerness was crystal clear. It wasn't just about being a reliable presence for Hara. It was the genuine joy he felt in her company. They laughed, shared stories, and sometimes even indulged in small escapades that turned ordinary errands into memorable episodes.
And then there was reason number two, which Joshua didn't mind admitting. It was the perfect excuse to visit Y/n's enchanting bakery. The aroma of freshly baked goodies, the vibrant display of pastries, and the warm ambianceāit was a slice of paradise in his day. As he'd open the door, he'd already know Hara's inevitable request, "Can I have my favorite macaroon from Sweeties, please?" It was almost a ritual. Her preferences would shift from cupcakes to macaroons, but Joshua didn't mind. For him, it was the smile on her face that truly mattered.
However, amid all these routines, there was another habit that had stealthily crept up on Joshua. It wasn't until the third visit that he became aware of it. Staring at his reflection in the rearview mirror, he'd question himself. "Is his hair styled just right? Is the suit impeccably ironed? Does his shirt complement his skin tone? And can she catch a whiff of his carefully chosen perfume?" These were the thoughts that occupied his mind.
He couldn't help but chuckle at his own introspection. "Who are you trying to impress, Hong? A stack of macaroons? An almond croissant sitting on the stall?" he'd jest with himself. But deep down, he knew the answer. His thoughts always circled back to Y/n, his college crush, who seemed to occupy a special corner in his heart.
With every encounter, every conversation, his feelings for her only grew stronger. It was a realization that struck him with a mixture of nostalgia and newfound hope. The crush he thought he'd buried long ago was very much alive, and in fact, thriving. Each interaction with Y/n was like a brushstroke, painting a vivid picture of affection that Joshua couldn't deny any longer.
*
"As expected, Y/n," Joshua chirped, his voice a friendly melody in the air. Y/n made her way from the kitchen, a tray laden with warm, freshly baked bread cradled in her hands. A gentle smile danced on her lips, brought to life by the sight of Hara's bright, shimmering eyes.
Setting the tray on the stool, Y/n felt a warmth spread through her. Hara mumbled something, a secret shared only for Y/n to catch. Sensing Hara's shyness, Joshua leaned in, his words a gentle encouragement, assuring her that she needn't be timid in Y/n's presence. "Speak up, Hara, she's as friendly as they come!" he added with a chuckle, infusing the moment with a touch of humor.
"Can I get that too, uncle?" Hara's voice was sweet and eager, breaking the air with innocence and curiosity.
Y/n's brows shot up in surprise. "Uncle?" she echoed, her curiosity piqued. It was the first time she'd heard Hara's voice, and the term caught her off guard.
Y/n struggled to find her words, the question hanging on the tip of her tongue, but not quite making its way out. This revelation left her momentarily speechless.
Joshua, noticing Y/n's bewilderment, turned to her with a questioning look. "She's calling you... isn't she your daughter?" She inquired, a touch of confusion in her eyes.
Joshua glanced at Y/n, his expression a mixture of surprise and realization. "Oh, I never told you?" he began, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. "She's my boss's daughter. I haven't tied the knot yet, Y/n." His tone was gentle, as though sharing a cherished secret.
A sudden chill raced down Y/n's spine, propelling her into swift action. She deftly gathered all the sweets that Hara had chosen. Joshua, startled by her abrupt shift in demeanor, watched in quiet curiosity, sensing that now wasn't the time to inquire.
A soft chime announced a newcomer. The door swung open, revealing a tall, sun-kissed man, his smile lighting up the room. Clutched in his hand was a bundle of meals, a simple offering of warmth and sustenance. What didn't escape Joshua's notice was the glint of an engagement ring gracing the man's finger.
"Ah, I should get going," Joshua murmured, a touch of awkwardness dancing in his smile. He gently informed Hara that they needed to head to the office. With a wave, Hara bid Y/n goodbye, her departure leaving a faint sense of longing in the air.
The newcomer, attuned to the change in atmosphere, turned to Y/n with concern etched across his face. He couldn't help but ask, "Who is he?" The question hung in the air, tinged with a hint of curiosity and a touch of wariness.
Y/n was willing to bet that Joshua overheard Mingyu's inquisitive words. With their departure, a weight seemed to settle in the air. She released a heavy sigh, her body finding solace against the worn counter.
This subtle motion didn't escape the notice of her concerned brother. "What's wrong? Who is he? Is he bothering you?" Mingyu's voice dripped with a blend of worry and slight irritation. He couldn't bear the thought of Y/n being bothered.
Y/n mumbled something, her words lost in the quiet ambiance of the shop. Mingyu leaned in, his gentle touch a balm to her unsettled soul. "What is it?" he coaxed, his voice laced with a mixture of affection and protective concern. With a tender gesture, he placed her meal on the counter.
"He's Josh."
Mingyu's eyes widened in surprise. "Joshua hyung? How could he not recognize me?" His disbelief was evident, eyebrows shooting up.
With a hint of annoyance, Y/n lifted her face to meet Mingyu's gaze. "How could anyone recognize you? Even your old self wouldn't," she quipped, a playful tease aimed at her brother's considerable transformation.
Mingyu let out a scoff, his lips twitching into a half-smile. "Then why are you like this? Aren't you happy to see him again?" he inquired, his concern tinged with a touch of gentle reproach. Y/n nodded, acknowledging the mix of emotions swirling within her.
"He's been around a few times. With that kid," Y/n murmured, her voice tinged with a hint of melancholy.
Mingyu's eyes widened in realization. "He's married?! Poor you, holding onto a long-term crush," he sympathized, his heart going out to his sister. "Come here, let me give you a hug." Mingyu's arms enveloped Y/n, offering comfort and understanding in this unexpected moment of emotional complexity.
However, Y/n didn't respond to Mingyu's attempt at comfort in the way he anticipated. Instead, a sharp slap landed on his arm, prompting a surprised whine to escape from him. "Why?!"
"He's not married," Y/n muttered, her voice tinged with frustration as she tried to untangle the complex web of emotions.
Mingyu's brow furrowed in confusion. "Then what? Is he divorced?" Another slap followed, this time landing on his other arm.
"Stop hitting me! It hurts," Mingyu protested, determined to put an end to the arm-slapping.
Y/n let out an exasperated groan, realizing how convoluted the situation had become. "Just listen!" she implored, her tone a blend of exasperation and urgency. "And don't you dare laugh." Her words earned a stifled chuckle from her younger brother. In a swift move, Y/n attempted another slap, but Mingyu managed to catch her hand, his grip firm yet gentle.
"I think I made a mistake," Y/n began, her voice tinged with regret.
"He started visiting the shop two months ago, and it's become a regular thing," she explained, a touch of frustration in her tone. "I assumed the child he always brought along was his daughter. I mean, who wouldn't? But it turns out, she's his boss's daughter."
Mingyu's brow arched in curiosity. "So, where's the twist?"
Y/n hesitated, her gaze dropping to the glimmering ring on her finger. "He saw this," she confessed, her voice a mixture of embarrassment and resignation. "And he thought I was engaged. He asked me if I was... and, you know what I said? Yes. I said yes because I thought he was married, and I was just protecting myself. I'm so messed up, Kim Mingyu." Her words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of her impulsive decision.
Mingyu let out a sigh, absorbing Y/n's explanation. "Why did you even lie?" he inquired, a touch of perplexity in his voice.
Y/n's eyes darted around, her frustration evident. "Becauseā I don't know! He saw my ring and I couldn't just blurt out, 'The ring has the flower you gave me and your name engraved on it.' Especially when he was here with a child who could very well be his daughter."
Mingyu couldn't help but be impressed. He let out a low whistle and applauded. "You're so witty and clumsy all at once. We really are siblings," he remarked with a grin.
Y/n shot him a sidelong glance, her expression a mix of amusement and exasperation. She reached for the meal Mingyu had brought, a sense of familiarity and comfort settling over them.
The atmosphere softened as Mingyu unwrapped the meal, confirming it was from their mother. He explained how she had hastily prepared it upon his request to visit the shop, and then suggested that Y/n pay their mother a visit soon. It served as a gentle reminder of the last time Y/n had seen their mother, at their father's funeral. Their relationship had been strained since the divorce.
Shifting gears, Y/n inquired about Mingyu's upcoming wedding preparations. He let out a sigh, expressing some of the inevitable stress that comes with such occasions. "You shouldn't get married!" he joked, sharing the minor hurdles in planning with a wry smile. "Nari changed her mind three times about the decorations. And now she wants me to ask you about changing the dessert menu."
Y/n chuckled softly, a warm affection in her gaze. "It's okay. These things happen for big events," she assured him, playfully ruffling his hair. Mingyu leaned in for an embrace, expressing a touch of nostalgia. "I wish I were still a high schooler," he mumbled, resting his head on Y/n's shoulder. Her hand instinctively rose to pat his back. "You're doing a fantastic job, Mingyu. I'm proud that you took such a brave step at your age. I'm genuinely happy for you."
Pulling back, Mingyu looked at Y/n with a sincere smile. "I'm happy too, just a bit nervous and exhausted maybe," he admitted, and Y/n nodded understandingly.
"Since Mom and Dad divorced, you've been the one raising me. I may not say it often, but I hope you know that I've always been thankful for your presence, noona. And I hope you're happy too."
Y/n closed her eyes, a mixture of emotions swirling within her. "Stop it! I have to face customers after this!" she protested, a hint of tears glistening in her eyes.
Mingyu's smile softened, his gaze filled with affection for his older sister. "Invite him to my wedding. I hope you find the confidence to express your feelings to him. Don't worry about his answer. Men can be trash, unless me." he teased, bringing a lightness to the moment.
*
As closing time approached, Y/n began the task of tidying up the stall. Her baker had headed home promptly at 5 pm, while she was committed to staying until 10. A handful of croissants remained, their golden flakiness begging for a home. Who could resist a few bites of almond cream at night? Certainly not her customers. And that bottle of wine, a thoughtful gift from Mingyu two years back, had been patiently waiting for an occasion. Tonight seemed just right. After the whirlwind of a day, a glass of wine was exactly what Y/n needed to unwind and savor the quiet moments.
As she finished adjusting the croissant and set the table, a chime echoed through her shop. "I'm sorry, but we're closā Josh?"
Y/n's voice caught in her throat as she recognized the unexpected visitor. There stood Joshua, tall and commanding, without his usual suit. Instead, he wore a sharp blue shirt that effortlessly complemented his appearance. The sleeves were casually rolled up to his elbows, a style that defied the odds and only added to his allure.
"It's night, what are you doing?" Y/n questioned, her surprise evident. She quickly shook her head, a warm smile playing on her lips. "I mean, it's really nice to see you. But isn't it a bit late for something sweet?" Her words held a hint of confusion.
Joshua's laughter danced through the air, a familiar and soothing melody in the quiet of the evening.
"Not for an almond croissant," he remarked, his eyes twinkling with anticipation as he gestured towards the delectable pastries adorning the table. "May I join?" he asked, a polite request for permission.
Y/n hesitated for a brief moment before offering a hesitant nod. She swiftly fetched another croissant and a wine glass, setting them in front of Joshua. Settling herself across from him, she couldn't help but express her concern.
Y/n's care and curiosity were palpable in her inquiry. "How have you been?"
Joshua let out a heavy sigh, his response tinged with a sense of relief. "Yeah... Big work hit, but it's finally done. Had a team dinner around here. You know the Soba restaurant near the three section? It was good," he explained, a hint of contentment in his voice. Y/n nodded in understanding.
He continued, delving into nostalgia. "You used to like that soba from a shop near our university," he reminisced, a fond smile gracing his features.
"The one with the wooden chairs? We went there a lot," Y/n admitted, her own smile growing as she recalled those cherished moments. "I remember you ordered hot soba in the summer and I was like, 'What is wrong with her?' I remember laughing a lot that day," he recounted, a hint of playfulness in his tone. Joshua's words evoked vivid memories from their college years.
Y/n stifled a smile before adding, "It was when you just failed your exam."
Joshua's brows shot up in surprise. "Ah, really? I couldn't remember that. Yeah... I failed a lot of tests back in university," he admitted with a self-deprecating chuckle. His gaze softened as he looked at Y/n, a sense of gratitude and warmth filling the air between them.
Joshua couldn't help but let out an impressed coo. "You haven't changed much, Y/n. Talking to you like this feels like we've stepped back a decade," he mused, tilting his head as his eyes traced the familiar features before him.
Y/n responded with a soft chuckle. "Meanwhile, you've changed quite a bit, Josh. I would never have expected to see you in a dress shirt and suit like today. You always favored crewnecks and that one t-shirt with the rock band print," she pointed out, a hint of nostalgia in her voice.
Joshua joined in her laughter, acknowledging the transformation. "You're absolutely right! I've gone through quite the evolution. I ran into one of our friends from college a few days back, and he didn't even recognize me," he recalled, a touch of amusement in his tone.
"Even Mingyu couldn't recognize you," Y/n chimed in, and Joshua's brow furrowed in surprise.
"Mingyu? He met me? When?" Joshua was genuinely taken aback. He remembered Y/n's younger brother as a tall kid who matched his height back when he was still in junior high school, a decade ago.
Y/n's eyes widened, a chuckle escaping her. "The last time you visited. Mingyu was here," she reminded him. Joshua let out a small gasp. "It was Mingyu?! I thought he was your fiance!" he exclaimed, covering his face with his palm in embarrassment.
"It was Mingyu. He's grown a lot, hasn't he? It's not surprising that you two didn't recognize each other," Y/n reassured, a fondness in her voice.
Joshua let out a sigh, his fingers gently massaging his temple. "So, it was Kim Mingyu, that little rascal who used to pester you back in the early semesters," he recalled with a laugh, the memory now tinted with amusement and affection.
"How's your parent?" Joshua inquired, his tone gentle and concerned.
Y/n's lips pressed into a tight line, her expression revealing the weight of her words. "Not long after you moved to The States, they got divorced. We lived with our father for four years before he passed away," she explained, a somber note in her voice. She chose not to mention the years of estrangement from her mother.
Joshua's gaze softened, his eyes filled with regret. "I'm so sorry, I... I had no idea," he murmured, his heart heavy with the news.
"That's why you went out of reach," he concluded, the pieces of the puzzle falling into place. The sudden loss of contact with Y/n had always puzzled him, but now it made sense.
Y/n nodded slowly, her gaze fixed on the memories that played in her mind. "My father's company faced bankruptcy, and my mother..." she hesitated, "she was cheating. They got divorced, and I had to work at the bakery near our university because my father couldn't afford to support both of us. And here I am, now. Running my own shop," she said, her smile holding a mixture of pride and reflection on how the challenges of the past had shaped her present.
Joshua looked at Y/n, his heart heavy with unspoken words. Guilt washed over him, rendering him momentarily speechless. He vividly recalled the day he had to break the news to Y/n about his impending move to the States, just two weeks before his flight. His mother, a single parent, had raised him alone from a young age. After his graduation, she informed him about their relocation due to her work, leaving behind everything in Seoul. Leaving Y/n was an agonizing decision, as she was the only thing that made Joshua contemplate staying. But he knew he had to join his mother after her earnest plea.
"Do you remember when I wanted to become a jeweler?" Y/n's voice pierced through the heavy air, drawing Joshua's attention. He nodded in response. She rose from her seat and went to the counter. When she returned, a small box nestled in her hand, Joshua's gaze shifted to her ringless finger.
Without hesitation, he gently took her hand in his own, his eyes filled with a mixture of regret and tenderness.
"Your ringā" Joshua began, his voice catching in his throat as he beheld the contents of the velvety box. Inside lay a ring and bracelet, delicate and gleaming.
"I made these," Y/n revealed, her voice steady but her eyes betraying a hint of vulnerability. She settled back into her chair, carefully placing the silver jewelry on the table.
Joshua's gaze remained fixed on the pieces, his heart pounding in his chest. He noticed that his name was engraved on both the ring and bracelet. Y/n's words tugged at his emotions, each syllable laced with the weight of untold feelings. "I was going to give these to you before your flight. But I couldn't make it; my parents were fighting that morning," she confessed, her voice carrying a mixture of regret and longing.
As he looked at Y/n, then back to the jewelry, his breath seemed to catch in his throat. The significance of the moment weighed heavily on him.
Y/n produced a necklace, its centerpiece a ring that had adorned her middle finger for all these years. "Mine has your name on it too. I meant to engrave my own, but for some reason, I etched yours," she shared, a soft chuckle escaping her lips.
"It's crazy, isn't it? That I cared for you so much, Josh," Y/n finally confessed, her eyes meeting his, a blend of hope and apprehension in their depths.
"I liked you a lot, and i might still."
The weight of Y/n's confession hung in the air, her words barely more than a mumble. Yet, they carried a profound weight, echoing through the space between them.
In that moment, Joshua finally comprehended that his feelings were not one-sided. It was as if a veil had been lifted, revealing a truth he hadn't dared to believe. He stood there, looking at Y/n, his heart pounding in his chest. For the first time, the enormity of the situation washed over him, leaving him feeling vulnerable and exposed. He had been carrying this sentiment for so long, never imagining that it might be returned. A sense of humility settled upon him, a realization that he had underestimated the depth of Y/n's emotions. He felt like a fool, sitting there in front of her, unable to find the right words to express the tumultuous storm of feelings coursing through him.
Under the tranquil embrace of the night, with the park as their silent witness, Joshua's voice carried a weight that only a decade of silent longing could hold.
"Y/n," he spoke, his words deliberate and infused with a vulnerability that had been buried deep for far too long. "Tonight, hearing your words... it's like a floodgate has burst open within me."
Turning to face her, he held her gaze with an intensity that spoke volumes. "For more than decade, I've carried this in my heart. From the very beginning, you captured my soul in a way I never thought possible. You've been my sanctuary, the person I've turned to in my darkest hours, even from across the ocean."
The sincerity in his voice was palpable, each word a testament to the depth of his emotions. "I was so afraid of losing you that I couldn't find the courage to say anything. But now, knowing that you feel... something for me too, it's like a dream come true."
"I like you a lot. No, i've been in love with you, Y/n."
The air hung heavy with anticipation, the moment pregnant with significance. Joshua's heart raced, every beat a testament to the years of yearning he had endured. With bated breath, he waited for Y/n's response, hoping beyond hope that the feelings he had nurtured in secret for a decade would find their rightful place in the open.
*
On the day of Mingyu's wedding, the venue was bathed in a warm, golden light, casting a radiant glow on the beaming couple. Mingyu, standing tall in his tuxedo, took the mic with a mixture of excitement and nervousness in his eyes. The room fell into a hushed anticipation as he cleared his throat, preparing to address the gathered guests.
"Thank you all for being here today," he began, his voice steady but filled with emotion. "Today is a day of celebration, not only for me and Nari, but for the bonds that tie families together."
Mingyu continued his speech. As he spoke, Mingyu's gaze drifted to Y/n, his older sister, seated among the guests. Her eyes shimmered with unspoken pride and affection, a silent affirmation of their shared journey.
He continued, his voice carrying a note of gratitude, "Today, I stand here as a man about to embark on a new chapter of my life. And I owe so much of who I am to the incredible woman who has always been there for me, through thick and thin."
Turning towards Y/n, Mingyu's voice softened with sincerity. "To my sister, Y/n, you've been my rock, my confidante, and my source of endless support. You've guided me, protected me, and loved me unconditionally. Today, I want to take a moment to thank you, not only for being an amazing sister, but for being an incredible friend."
A swell of applause and affectionate murmurs filled the room, a testament to the love that emanated from this tight-knit family. Mingyu's words had touched the hearts of everyone present, leaving an indelible mark on this special day.
The wedding ceremony unfolded like a dream, an atmosphere of pure happiness enveloping the guests. Mingyu, the groom, approached his sister, Y/n, a vision in her lace gown, diligently overseeing the desserts from her bakery. He enveloped her in a warm embrace, their connection palpable even in the midst of the celebration. He pulled back, Y/n teasingly echoing Mingyu's earlier words, "Your confidante, huh?" A playful eye-roll followed, a testament to their easy camaraderie.
Y/n couldn't help but let out a joyful laugh, her eyes sparkling with mirth. "Well, I had to make a good impression on my new in-laws, didn't I? Let them know they're getting a true family man," he quipped in a conspiratorial whisper. Joshua, standing alongside them, couldn't contain his own chuckle at their banter.
"Thanks for coming, hyung," Mingyu expressed his gratitude, pulling Joshua into a heartfelt hug. Joshua extending his warmest congratulations.
A mischievous gleam danced in Joshua's eyes as he added, "For someone who's kept my girlfriend busy all month, you sure seem appreciative." His words were laced with playful sarcasm, a nod to the last-minute dessert changes that had kept Y/n on her toes.
Mingyu's expression softened, a touch of remorse etching his features. "I'm sorry, hyung. I forgot how much this meant to you. I promise, after this, I won't meddle anymore," he vowed, signing to the new relationship between his sister and Joshua that had been silent for over a decade.
As the joyous celebration continued, a voice calling Joshua's name interrupted their lively conversation. Turning, their attention was drawn to a woman standing behind them. Joshua recognized her as one of his colleagues from the company, and he extended his hand in greeting.
"I didn't expect to see you here," Joshua remarked, a pleasant surprise lacing his voice.
The woman nodded, a smile playing on her lips. "Nari is my junior from college," she explained, her eyes keenly observing the dynamic between Joshua and Y/n.
It wasn't lost on Joshua that his hand lingered at Y/n's waist. Suddenly, the realization struck him, and he made the introduction with a touch of pride, "Oh, please meet my girlfriend, Y/n. Those croquembouche were made by her." The swell of pride in his voice resonated with a warmth that emanated from him.
Mingyu, standing beside them, nodded appreciatively and offered a warm smile, extending his gratitude to the woman for joining them in the celebration.
The woman's words hung in the air, a statement that stirred a shift in the atmosphere. "I didn't know you had a girlfriend, Mr. Hong," she reiterated, her tone carrying a hint of surprise. Before Joshua could respond, Mingyu swooped in, feigning hurt over Joshua's apparent secrecy.
"Hyung, really? You've been keeping your relationship with my sister under wraps from everyone? Noona, you deserve someone who'll shout your worth from the rooftops!" Mingyu playfully chided, a glint of mischief dancing in his eyes. Y/n simply smiled, recognizing her brother's penchant for theatrics.
Joshua let out a sigh, a mixture of exasperation and amusement tingeing his voice. "I kept everything hidden," he confessed, a touch of irritation coloring his words. Yet, his smile only grew, his hold on Y/n's waist tightening. It was a silent declaration, an unspoken testament to the depth of his feelings for her, a sentiment that had been quietly growing within him. The unspoken connection between them, now brought to light, added a layer of intimacy to the moment, making it all the more special.
*
A fresh morning light bathed the room, infusing it with a sense of energy and possibility. Joshua entered, a warm smile gracing his features, bearing a circle of coffee and delectable desserts for the ladies gathered at the tables. Their eyes lit up with gratitude as they received the treats, a tangible token of appreciation for their successful drama project.
"Morning, ladies. I heard the drama project was a hit. Here's my treat," Joshua announced, his voice carrying a touch of genuine warmth.
As they settled into their seats, one of them couldn't help but voice the rumor swirling in the office. "Is it true, Mr. Hong?" she inquired, her curiosity piqued.
Joshua's smile remained steadfast, a hint of intrigue twinkling in his eyes. "What rumor?" he playfully deflected, his tone light.
"That you're in a relationship? There's a screenshot of your Instagram Story with a woman on the company community web," another woman eagerly elaborated, her excitement palpable.
Joshua let out a chuckle at their enthusiasm. With an air of showmanship, he unveiled the box of delectable desserts, their intricate designs and inviting aromas captivating their attention. "They look amazing, right?" he asked, a note of pride coloring his voice.
"These are from Seongsu-dong, just a block away from a kindergarten. The shop's called Sweeties. If you ever want to meet my girlfriend, that's the place to go. Please enjoy," Joshua shared, his words imbued with a touch of playfulness and sincerity. With a final warm goodbye, he left the group of women officers, their smiles and laughter lingering in the air. The morning continued, infused with a sense of camaraderie and shared enjoyment.
The end.
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