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herdreamywasteland · 1 year ago

Text

You Don't Know What To Say (until the moment's passed)

title from 5AM by Amber Run.

Recommended listening: 5AM by Amber Run, I Found by Amber Run.

Note: I do not allow my works to be copied to another site or translated without permission. Please message me if you would like to translate or podfic my work. I don't own dungeons and daddies, but if I did, Hermie would be fine. Comments and Reblogs are adored, constructive criticism is allowed, and hate or negativity will be swiftly and efficiently dealt with.

Special thanks to @luckyorz for beta reading!

The first thing Anne Love does when she arrives home is make herself a cup of tea.

Automatically, she fills the electric kettle at the sink and plugs it in. She pulls a freshly washed mug from the dishwasher and places it on the counter. She takes the last sachet of tea from her favorite seasonal blend.

It won’t be back in stock for another six months, so Anne was saving it. She can’t remember why. Does it really matter?

She tears the packet open and tosses the bag into her mug. The kettle beeps, letting her know her water is boiled. She pours the water, watching it slowly turn pink.

Her hand is shaking.

The analog clock above the stove is old and doesn’t work very well. The minute hand doesn’t move anymore and the hour hand is slow. The second hand still works, ticking in time.

Anne counts each tick, staring at her hands. There’s blood under her fingernails. She can’t bring herself to wash it away.

When she reaches three hundred and fifty seconds, she scoops the bag from her mug and tosses it in the sink. She brings her cup to her lips and sips.

It’s too hot to drink, but she swallows anyway. Her tea is gone in three gulps, her tongue screaming in pain. She can’t make herself care.

The second thing Anne Love does when she arrives home is call her father.

She sinks to the floor, her mug still in hand. She types in his number and waits. He’s a marine, he knows how to deal with death.

The line rings…

And rings…

And rings.

Her father’s voice tugs her back into the present.

Hey, it’s David. I can’t come to the phone right now, I’m too busy kicking ass. Leave a message at the tone.

Beep.

Just kidding, it’s still me. Okay, now leave a message.

Anne hangs up. Of course he didn’t answer, he’s on a mission. She doesn’t know where, but Schmegan said it was important.

She drops her phone onto her lap and leans back against the cabinets. She glances at the mug in her hand. She realizes it’s her favorite, colored pink and yellow with pretty cursive writing that says “#1 Agent!”. It was a gift from Schmegan when he found out she replaced the instant coffee in the breakroom with ground La Colombe.

The words seem so fake, like they don’t matter. They don’t matter. She’s not a #1 agent. Hell, she’s not even an average one.

She couldn’t save one kid.

Anne hurls the mug across the room. It hits the oven and shatters. Shards skitter across the floor, some coming to rest at her feet.

She picks one up with trembling fingers. It reads #1. She closes her fist around it, squeezing as hard as she can. Pain pricks through her hand and yet she doesn’t stop.

Blood begins to ooze through her fingers, down her arm. It hurts. It’s something real.

She chokes out a sob. It’s the first time she’s cried all day. God, it hurts. The pain in her chest is something she’s never felt before.

She can’t breathe, her mind racing. She can’t stop the scene running in her brain.

“The temp agency sent us!” The boy with the stupid hat and the cane yells. She’s pretty sure his name is Taylor. The tall one, Lincoln, Anne thinks, says something too, but she isn’t listening. She’s staring at the boy behind them.

He’s covered in burn scars and smeared makeup. He’s also bleeding. Fuck, he’s bleeding so much.

Around her, her co-workers continue to type, as though nothing has changed. She can’t stand up. She feels calm, but it’s not real. Her fear, violent and bubbling, is forced down.

The people are supposed to be here.

It’s fine.

Except, it’s not.

The bleeding kid is coughing. Anne thinks he’s trying to say something. Blood is flowing past his lips, gushing freely from his chest. Lincoln kneels and frantically tries to stop it.

Assess the situation. Stop the bleeding. Stabilize the patient. Call for help.

Her training echoes in her head, almost like a prayer.

She doesn’t believe in God, but she still prays.

God help us all.

The girl that’s with him screams. Something about a stapler. It shocks Anne out of her trance. She grabs the stapler on the desk beside her and tosses it to the girl.

Anne can move now.

She runs to them. Oh God, they’re just kids. They can’t be older than her daughter. She collapses to her knees, next to Lincoln.

He’s clutching his friend, blood soaking his clothing. Tears are streaming down his face, his eyes glazed over in shock.

Anne presses her fingers against the injured boy’s neck, but she knows it’s useless. There won’t be a pulse. You don’t survive getting shot in the heart like that.

She hears a raspy breath behind the two teens. She looks over and sees another boy covered in burn scars. She crawls to him.

He’s alive.

Against all odds, this boy is alive.

“I need some help over here!”

As though her words are magic, the office suddenly comes alive. There’s shouting and people talking into phones. A man kneels next to her. She thinks his name is Thomas.

“Is he…”

She nods tears on her face.

“But this one’s alive. Get help.”

Thomas squeezes her shoulder and stands up. She can hear him bark an order to someone. She’s so relieved someone other than her is in control. She turns to Lincoln.

“What’s his name?”

“Normal.”

Anne grips Normal’s hand, stroking it gently. His eyes are open, watching her. Tears are cutting through the dirt on his cheeks.

“Hey, you’re awake.”

He stares, saying nothing.

“Stay with me, buddy.”

She reaches up and brushes away a strand of hair on his forehead. She presses her hand to his skin, her motherly instincts fighting to the surface. She just wants to make it better.

There’s a rasping from Normal. He’s trying to say something.

“Talk to me, baby. What is it?”

“...I’ll never know if he meant it.” He inhales raspily before closing his eyes. Anne can’t breathe. She’s probably crying, but she can’t tell. He’s still breathing. That’s enough for now.

Anne sits up, turning to the girl. She seems to be the most lucid out of all of them.

“What’s your name?”

“He’s dead.”

Anne stands, stepping closer to the girl.

“I’m sorry. What’s your name?”

“Scary. Why’d he die?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“His name was Hermie. Herman Unworthy.”

Scary starts to sob. Anne opens her arms, offering herself to the girl. Scary steps forward, her boots dragging against the ground. She collapses against Anne, sobs racking her skinny body.

Anne pulls her close, an arm around her waist, a hand pressing Scary’s head against her chest. She reaches out to Taylor. He steps forward, pressing his face to her shoulder. She rocks both kids back and forth, wishing she could do something more.

God, they’re just babies.

Anne can’t stop the scream that rips from her throat.

She can’t remember anything else, just holding Scary and Taylor, desperately trying to protect them from something no child should see.

She vaguely remembers the cops showing up, ushering her and the kids away from their friends. The way the living boy was strapped to a stretcher and wheeled out—the paramedics looking over the kids, asking for their parents.

Whatever those kids went through, they didn’t deserve it.

Scary, her hands covered in burns, her arms with crisscrossed scars that are too neat to be an accident. Taylor, fear in his eyes and a desperate look on his face. Dood a kid who doesn’t know what’s happening or why their friends aren’t okay. Lincoln, covered in blood, clutching the body of his dead friend. The boy, Normal, covered in fresh burns, incoherently crying for Hermie.

Herman, dead at the age of fifteen.

Herman Unworthy.

Anne will remember his name for the rest of her life.

The third thing Anne Love does when she arrives home is hug her daughter.

She slips into her room, glow-in-the-dark stars covering the walls. She sits on the edge of the bed, watching her sleep. She prays that her daughter keeps breathing.

Anne strokes her hair, listening to her soft breathing.

“Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“What happened to your hand?”

“...Nothing, don’t worry about it.”

Anne leans forward, pressing her lips to her daughter’s forehead. Her daughter turns over, wraps her arms around Anne’s waist.

Anne holds her close, rocking back and forth. Normally, her daughter would protest, squirming away, but she seems to sense her mother needs this.

“Erica?”

“Mom?”

“I love you so much.”

Anne can feel Erica smile against her neck.

“I love you too.”

When Anne comes into the bedroom, her wife sits up in bed. Sarah doesn’t say anything, just opens her arms. Anne collapses, sobbing.

“I know, I know, baby.”

Sarah doesn’t know. She doesn’t know how to help her wife, or how to fix the pain. Sarah doesn’t know what happened. She’s not sure she wants to.

“I’m quitting.” Anne whispers. She can’t handle another day like this. She can’t save everyone, she knows that, but it doesn’t matter.

She couldn’t save those kids.

The last thing Anne Love does when she arrives home from work is quit. She sends a text to Agent Schmegan.

I quit. I can’t handle this job anymore. Sorry.

She’s left on delivered.

Anne Love curls up next to her wife and sleeps.

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quietwingsinthesky · 2 years ago

Note

For the fanfic asks, 18 and 19?

Hi Stel!

[questions are here]

18. oh, gosh. hard choice. hard choice. uhm. I always gush about how much I loved writing 'it would have buried you' so I feel like I should give the spotlight to one of my other favorites, which is Another Night (it doesn't get easy). It's full of lines that I fucking love, and I have no idea where they came from or why they ended up in a FNAF fic of all things, but. specifically right now, I'm thinking of the line, "Your father, the walking blasphemy, can see you now." which is really just. the culmination of the whole fic's point for being, really. And I really loved narrating that line too, alskdjalskjd i dont know if you can tell listening to the podfic, I savored that damn thing.

19. Okay okay small teaser let's see what I've got here. hm. So there's another prompt I'm working on in bits and pieces asking for something between Sam and Lucifer, specifically during the era where Lucifer is possessing Castiel, which. Fascinating challenge to me (<- dislikes casifer greatly) and I am up for it. So here's a little bit of it.

tw for lucifer being a creepy dude and doing shit he should not be doing to sam while he's asleep. nothing terrible but he is being. So Weird.

Sam is smarter than this. He should know he's not safe here, not even in this hole in the ground. Does he really sleep here, night after night, without anything protecting him? Lucifer strokes Sam's cheek, feels his sleeping exhales against this vessel's wrist. Not anymore. Lucifer has taken care of everything. Sam's room is warded against any being that might wish him harm, and all of it is scratched so subtly into the walls by Castiel's guided nails that he won't even notice the difference.

That's alright. He doesn't have to know that Lucifer is watching over him. He never knew about Azazel's gang guiding him, not until their jobs were long over and he had been shaped into Lucifer's true vessel. Those demons even made the perfect present for him when he accepted Lucifer into his heart and bloodied hands.

Someday, Sam is going to understand that Lucifer doesn’t give so much to just anyone.

He has another gift for Sam, beyond the protective wards on the walls and his company behind Castiel's face. He kisses Sam's forehead and lets grace curl inside his mind, locking him into the deep slumber Lucifer walked in on. Sam's face is so relaxed when he's asleep. Gently, Lucifer's thumb glides down the side of his face to his lips. They part with barely a hint of pressure. Lucifer smiles.

His wings rise around him and Sam, light sent dancing over his true vessel's skin. (Beneath them, Castiel's worn-out rags of bone and feather drag along the floor, forgotten.) Lucifer reaches between his feathers, seeking. Grace sparks under his fingers, and the sensation is calming. He's almost tempted to sit here a while over Sam's prone body and preen, letting the loose feathers glide down to rest over Sam. Another time, maybe. For now, he has purpose, and he takes hold of a feather still intimately connected to his own power. It's a living part of him, and he pulls it out. The pain is awful. Lucifer bows over Sam, stifling a scream against his neck.

Sam doesn't wake. Lucifer rubs Castiel's throat. This vessel doesn't fit right. Even its vocal cords vibrate wrong. He hates it, and with Sam so close, right there, one word away from letting Lucifer taste the euphoria of being inside him again... But he is so stubborn. Lucifer wouldn't love him otherwise.

For now, he takes the feather between his fingers, sparking and glowing and connected to him, even though it’s been cut off. He can feel it. He can track it.

He wouldn't have to do this if Castiel hadn't tried to hide Sam from him. As if he was allowed to write runes into Sam's ribs without Lucifer's permission. Lucifer can't even erase them. Loathe as he is to admit it, they're effective at keeping every other angel away from his vessel, too.

Here's a simpler solution. He opens Sam's mouth wider, and he drops the small feather inside.

#ask #spn #samifer #sam winchester #lucifer spn

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skelavender · 6 hours ago

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There’s a letter in Tommy’s mailbox. It’s not a bill, not an advertisement. A bona fide letter, with his name penned carefully across the back. There’s no return address and no stamp. Tommy runs his thumb across the corner of the envelope as he contemplates it. When he flips it over and sees the actual red wax seal holding the flap down, he realizes what it is and drops it onto the counter like it’s burned him. Evan. Buck. OR Reconciliation through a series of letters.

read the center of every poem on ao3, listen to the podfic on gdrive, or find it below the cut!

you can also listen to evan's playlist and tommy's playlist on spotify.

“the centre of every poem is this: i have loved you. i have had to deal with that.”

Letters From Medea, Salma Deera

***

There’s a letter in Tommy’s mailbox.

It’s not a bill, not an advertisement. A bona fide letter, with his name penned carefully across the back. There’s no return address and no stamp.

Tommy runs his thumb across the corner of the envelope as he contemplates it. When he flips it over and sees the actual red wax seal holding the flap down, he realizes what it is and drops it onto the counter like it’s burned him.

Evan.

Buck.

Buck had driven across town to drop this off himself. He had been outside. Was Tommy home? Did he miss his chance to catch one last glimpse of Buck?

Had he wanted to come inside?

Tommy doesn't let himself dwell on that possibility.

A memory comes to him, a few months ago. Chris’s birthday. A couple weeks beforehand, Tommy had knocked on Evan’s door and been greeted with the sight of Evan’s thumb pressed gently against his own lips.

A paper cut, Evan had explained. When Tommy looked past him, the counter top was spread with a mess of different types of papers, envelopes, rubber stamps, pens, and ink pads.

That was when he learned about Evan’s — Buck’s — greeting card habit. Every birthday came with a custom made card, slaved over for hours. Every gift was countered with a thank you note a week later. The card Chris would be receiving had layers of different colors of card stock, and "Happy Birthday!" was nearly stamped across the front.

This is… not a birthday card. Tommy’s birthday isn’t for another three months, and Buck knows this. He doubts it’s a thank you card, because thanks for ripping your heart out by breaking up with me! seems pretty callous. The only other thing Tommy can imagine it being is a postmortem.

Tommy… Tommy’s not sure if he’s ready for that yet.

He’s still too raw. Thinking about breaking the wax seal makes his skin sting like air on muscle, like he’s covered in a thousand of Buck’s greeting card paper cuts.

The letter mocks him from the countertop for two more days before he sits down with it and a beer squarely in front of him. It takes him an hour and another bottle to flip it over and slide his finger under the seal. It pops off in one piece, and Tommy breathes.

He slides the paper out of the envelope, but doesn’t unfold it yet. Its color matches the envelope perfectly, but the texture is different. It’s heavier, and thicker. It’s the nice stuff, the stationary he knows Buck spent way too much money on and saves for important letters. Which means this, to Buck, is an important letter.

Tommy stands and paces the kitchen. The letter keeps screaming at him from the counter, calling him a coward, calling him weak, in a voice eerily similar to that of his father.

Tommy makes it halfway through another beer leaning against the door jamb of the kitchen when he sets the bottle down a little too hard on the counter, slides back into his seat, and flips the paper open before he can back out again.

Tommy,

Tommy tears up immediately, reading just his own name on the page in the same handwriting he would see in good morning notes left on his bedside when Evan had an early morning shift, or stuck to a container of tupperware with reheating instructions and a “see you tomorrow!”

He continues reading.

Tommy,

I’ve tried to write this so many times, but it either comes out too desperate or too pushy. I hope this time I manage to find the balance, because I’m not sure how many more times I can write this before I lose my mind.

I’ve been running every moment with you over and over in my head, trying to figure out where I went wrong, or which interactions I misunderstood, or how we ended up on such different pages, or what I could have changed to hold onto you. If I had chased after you, would you have stayed and kissed me? If I had kept you awake with my research one night less, could I have kept you for one more? I’ve been reading up on chaos theory and the butterfly effect. One minute change could have altered everything. There are infinite different paths we could have taken, and I can’t understand why we ended up on this one. It just doesn’t feel right to me.

I didn’t think I would have to tell you this, but I guess you didn’t get the message: we were serious. Or, at least, I was serious about you. You were my boyfriend, my partner, not an experiment. I’ve had a lot of partners I wasn’t serious about — I think I had slept with a good quarter of the single women in LA at one point, and I’m done with that. I’ve been done with that for years. Realizing that I’m queer hasn’t changed the fact that have no interest in sleeping around anymore; it’s not fulfilling to me. And I have had meaningful emotional relationships, ones that have made me feel cared for and loved, at least for a while. That includes you. None of that changes because men are suddenly an option.

I don’t know why it’s so important to me that you know that. I’m not aiming to make you feel guilty, or regretful, or confused. Maybe it’s selfish, but I needed to get that off my chest.

I wish you the best,

Evan

Tommy is in tears by the time he finishes the letter. God. Tommy had known he had fucked up the second he closed the door of Buck’s loft behind him, but now the pain is sunken far enough into his chest that it lives there now.

***

There’s a letter in Evan’s mailbox.

This fact alone is not particularly unusual. He has a couple friends from his days on the road that he still exchanges letters with. But his name and address are scrawled across the front familiar chicken scratch. Tommy’s chicken scratch. Buck’s breath hitches.

The return address confirms it. His name isn’t there, but Buck knows that address. He’s spent hours there; he’s plugged it into his phone countless times to try to find the quickest way to cross town. He had done so as recently as last week, to drop off…

Oh. The letter.

Buck hadn’t expected a response, to be honest. He had only wanted to voice — or, well, pen — his feelings, which he hadn’t actually been able to do when Tommy had broken up with him because he was so caught off guard. But here he is, holding a letter nestled in an ivory envelope. A suspiciously nice ivory envelope, with a texture similar to the ones he saves for important letters.

Buck hasn’t scrambled up to his loft faster in his life. He beelines for the box that contains the LAFD letter opener he had… liberated… during his fire marshall days and slips it into the flap of the envelope, prying it open as carefully as he can with his trembling hands.

The paper is heavy. It’s not the exact same stuff Buck uses, but it’s nice enough that Tommy must have had to go out and buy it. This is paper that requires intent.

He starts reading it right there on the floor, knelt in front of his stationary box.

Buck –

I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you; I’m sorry I left you reeling.

But you have to understand, baby, this is how it has to be.

I really meant it when I said you’re absolutely incredible. I don’t want you to be feeling like you were too much, or not enough, or anything like that. You are such a wonderful man and you’re going to make an amazing partner once you find someone good enough for you. You’re a precious thing, and you deserve someone equally precious. But that’s not me.

It wasn’t that I wasn’t serious about you, Evan Buck, the problem is that I was. I love I fell was falling far too hard for you. I know you care cared about me, but you have so much love to give, and I’m I was so afraid that you would regret it if you chose to give it to me.

I’m still I think about you I wanted to text I still see you everywhere I miss you I made it all the way to the checkout with a book I thought you would like the other day before I realized what I was doing

You’ve found this whole new side of you, and I’m so, so happy I could help you find it, but it would destroy me to help you keep exploring.

Again, I’m sorry.

Tommy

For the first time since the breakup, Buck is mad.

He’s cycled through every other stage of grief multiple times, sometimes all in one day. He had felt a little better after dropping the letter off, like he was inching towards closure. But now that Tommy is doubling down, insisting that he somehow isn’t enough for Buck…

It’s ridiculous. Buck thought that Tommy would throw it into the trash, if Buck was lucky he might give it a read before he did so and that would be that. But now Buck is stuck with another layer of pain to work through before he can move on.

He squints through the scribbled out bits, but Tommy was too thorough, and Buck can’t read it. Perhaps something that makes sense is hidden under the loops of ink, some key that makes anything that Tommy said make sense with how Buck saw their relationship.

Buck wants to make a photocopy and draw lines between the letters, connect the things Tommy has said to certain interactions. He wants to annotate the letter like a high school student writing an essay on a poem. He wants to break it down to the tiny bits and pieces and weave it into something that makes sense.

Buck’s phone is ringing. He removes it from his pocket and snaps a “what” into the microphone without even checking to see who was calling.

“Jesus, who pissed in your cheerios?” Eddie asks from the other end.

“Tommy.”

Eddie sighs. “Buck, I told you not to call him!”

“I didn’t, but I… I left him a letter the other day. He sent one back.”

“And?”

“He doubled down on it. I’m great, but he’s not good enough for me.”

“Damn.” A beat of silence. “You’re going to ignore it, right?”

“No, I’m going to write a letter back.”

“Ooh, no you’re not.” Eddie says. The sound of a car door slamming comes through the phone. “You are not going to write him an angry letter. If Clipboard Buck is scary, Angry Letter to the Manager Buck is a million times worse. You want to get back together, right? That’s why you sent the letter?”

“I don’t even know!” Buck bursts, “I just wanted closure, one way or another, and he didn’t really give me a chance to say anything before he just… up and left.”

“Well, if you write that letter now, you’re going to close that door for good, and you’ll never know what could have happened if you had waited until you were calmer.”

Buck sighs. “Yeah, yeah, alright.”

“I’m already on my way over. Don’t do anything until I get there. I’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll see you.” Buck hangs up and stares at the letter box, calling out to him.

When Eddie walks through the door of the loft, Buck is sitting at the table with his fancy letter paper in front of him.

“Buck,” Eddie drawls, disappointed.

“I didn’t!” Buck defends. “I’m just thinking about it.”

“Put your stupid $50 paper away and let's go to a museum or something. C’mon.”

“It was only $37.”

“Let’s go, Buck.”

***

Did you know that LA has an all night fine stationery store? Tommy does. Because he had looked it up and Doordashed a set of expensive paper and pens at midnight. The driver had looked at him like he was crazy, but Tommy had written the letter in twenty minutes and dropped it into the blue mailbox down the street before he could sober up enough to second-guess himself. He hadn’t even written a clean copy, instead leaving bits scribbled out on the final page, hopefully thoroughly enough that Buck wouldn’t be able to decipher the parts he had decided were too raw for Buck to see.

Evan, apparently, hadn't been too put off by Tommy's sloppiness, because he's responded. This envelope is the same creamy ivory color as the last, with his name written neatly across the back, with a wax seal. This one, however, has a stamp and Tommy's address below his name. The corner is bent and scuffed, clearly packed into some poor mailman's bag for too many hours. Tommy peels the envelope open delicately, and starts to read.

Tommy,

Eddie talked me down from being too mean to you, but god, you fucking asshole. Did you read a single thing I wrote?

I could never regret you. I’ve never regretted dating anyone, I’ve certainly never regretted caring about someone. Everyone I’ve been in a relationship with has led me to where I am today. That’s part of what I was trying to tell you, with Abby – our breakup sucked, and it really hurt me for a long time, but that relationship transformed me. She was my first – the first person I actually dated instead of just sleeping with. You were my first man, but not my first partner. That was Abby. I’ve had my heart broken and learned how to heal it. I’m not someone who is going to brush you aside for the sake of my own self discovery. Being in a relationship with a man is new to me, and yes, there were some things I had to learn with that, but loving is not.

I’ve spent so much time and energy sprinting through relationships and then holding onto them when I should probably let go – Abby, Taylor, hell, even my parents. I’m sorry I moved too fast for you. I was really, really trying to slow it down this time, to let our relationship grow on its own instead of drawing shapes around where I wanted it to form.

I did not view our relationship as you helping me figure myself out. I viewed us as two people who liked each other and wanted to build a life together. I need you to understand that I cared about you, and that feeling was genuine. What did I do that made you feel otherwise? That I was just using you? I don’t do that. I’ve been nothing but used my whole life. I never want to make someone else feel that way. I need that to get through to you. I can’t have you walking through life thinking that you’re nothing but a stepping stone. You’re not.

You are worthy of love that lasts.

Evan

Reading the first paragraph feels like a shot of ice to Tommy’s veins, how he had misunderstood Buck’s history so terribly. They had never really had a conversation about exes, but they really should have. The second makes the acidic burn of guilt flood through him, that somehow Buck is apologizing as though he has done something wrong. The last bit… well.

Despite everything, it makes Tommy feel warm. Cared for.

A life together.

With three words, Buck has painted a picture that Tommy wants, more than anything. Buck’s bike mounted in the garage. His Jeep in the driveway. His socks between sheets, no matter how many times Tommy complains about them. Sunday dinners with the Hans, or barbecues with the extended family of the 118. A cat. Maybe, if Tommy could convince Evan, a couple kids.

Tommy wishes it were possible. History has said it is not the case.

***

Buck has never checked his mailbox as obsessively as he has this week, waiting for a letter from Tommy to arrive. He had mailed it properly this time, with a stamp and an address instead of a personal drop-off.

With his first letter, Buck hadn’t expected a response. This time, he does. But as the days drag on with only bills and useless coupons, he starts to lose hope. Perhaps he had come on too strong, been too harsh, or too vulnerable, or any other undesirable thing.

It comes two weeks after Buck’s letter had hit the USPS. He’s on his way inside with a couple bags of groceries when he checks his mailbox, and there it sits. The same creamy ivory envelope, the same messy handwriting addressing it to him, the same save the sea turtles stamp.

He makes it upstairs in a far less rushed manner. Very calmly, he puts his groceries away and lets the letter sit on the counter. When everything is away, Buck fetches his letter opener and flicks the letter open.

Buck –

It took me a couple days to respond, but I really wanted to put the thought in to give you a genuine, thought-out answer, not just a knee-jerk reaction.

First of all, I want to apologize again for how I treated you that night. I never should have discounted the relationships you've had in the past. I'm not trying to make excuses for how I acted, it was shitty and wrong, but I want you to understand what was happening in my head and why.

My first response was that you hadn’t done anything wrong to make me feel that way. While I still think that is true, the response has to come from somewhere, and I think it was how I came out. I used a lot of people. I used Abby to help me keep up the macho straight guy facade. I used a bunch of men for sex after I finally admitted to myself that I was gay. We hooked up in the bathrooms in gay bars, and I never told them my name so no one could out me. Many others did the same to me, and that is what I’m used to. I assumed that you would need someone to help you figure yourself out as well, but I understand now that it’s not what you need. That doesn’t reflect how I felt about you, or what I wanted, but it’s what I thought I could get. And I was so hungry for any bit of you, I took what I could – or what I thought you were giving. I still thought you would leave, eventually. I’m sorry that I assumed the worst of you. I’m sorry for assuming you cope in the same ways I did. My experiences are my own, and not applicable to anyone else.

I wish I could do it all over knowing this. Not just that day, but the whole time we were together. I don’t know that I would have changed much, but I would have cherished it differently. I think I did a lot of mourning, even though our relationship was very much alive. I would look at you and think “He’s so beautiful,” and then, immediately, “Someday I won’t get to look at him like this anymore.”

When you asked me to move in, I had this moment of hope. Like everything I could have ever wanted was right there, reaching out to me. You were reaching out to me. But it got overshadowed by all this worry, and this fear, and I couldn’t deal with that. In your first letter, you mentioned infinite possibilities for the future, and that’s exactly what I saw. Infinite timelines where that moment was the flap of the butterfly’s wings that caused a hurricane of heartbreak. A thousand futures were I would think, “God, if only I hadn’t moved in with him, this would hurt so much less.”

But now I’m not so sure that it would hurt less, because I’m so in love with you, Evan. I have been so in love with you, even if I couldn’t identify it before I left. I didn’t know that my love for you was what caused that fear, I only knew that it was choking me, and I couldn’t let that happen. So, like a fool, I hurt both of us because I thought it would protect myself.

Love,

Tommy

Buck takes in a deep breath. Lets it out. Repeats the action.

He’s starting to understand where Tommy’s mind is at. He still doesn’t agree, doesn’t think he was in the right, but Tommy’s mental state is starting to come into focus. This letter is much more insightful than the last one, and Buck just feels…

Well, he feels sorry for the guy. It can’t be easy to be haunted by the man right in front of you.

Buck wishes they had talked about it then, but he also understands how that would be difficult when Tommy is actively trying not to pull him closer or let him in.

He hadn’t even addressed Buck’s assertion that he deserved love, maybe because he disagreed and didn’t want to cause more of an argument, or maybe because it was too raw for him to touch.

But still, it feels like a step in the right direction.

***

Tommy,

First of all, thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing your past with me, and how it has been affecting you. I feel a lot closer to you now, in a way I didn’t know I was missing when we were dating, and I really, really like the feeling.

That honestly sounds pretty miserable, both the hiding and the mourning. I'm sorry you went through that.

Can we please try to fix it? To work on things together? I want to be with you again, Tommy, I really do, but I’m so afraid of you leaving again. I’ve been left behind so many times, and I can’t do it again. This whole ordeal hit me in a very weak spot. Before we try again, I need you to prove to me that you won’t run away next time you get scared, but that you’ll talk to me. That you know I’m here, and I want to help you through all that. I feel like I was the one guiding us for most of our relationship, driving us in the direction I wanted, and we need to make sure neither of us let that happen again. I need you to check me if I’m pushing too far forward. I need for both of us to feel secure, safe, and close.

Evan

P.S. Please for the love of god stop calling me Buck. It feels so wrong from you.

***

The next letter Buck receives comes on the same stationery as the rest, but the content is one line.

Evan,

I want that more than anything. What can I do to get us there?

With love,

Tommy

Evan smiles and heads for his stationery box.

***

Tommy swears he’s been holding his breath since he sent off his latest letter.

Evan’s latest letter. He can be Evan again.

When he opens his mailbox and sees Evan’s envelope, he’s choked up. He sits on the curb and reads it right there on the street.

Tommy,

I’ll be honest, I’m not entirely sure.

I don’t know when I’ll be ready, or how to get there, but I know I will be one day. This is fixable, if we can both heal.

How about this: we can keep writing letters. We keep our communication here, and when we figure we’re ready, we’re ready. Until then, we’re pen pals. I’m not planning on dating or sleeping with anyone else, but if you decide to, I just ask that you be honest with me about it.

I still want to be with you, I swear I do. I accidentally ordered your coffee on my way home this morning. I didn’t even realize what I had done until I got home and realized that I had two cups. I want to live in a world where I can come home and hand it to you and tell you about the crazy calls from today. But I think it’s best if we work this out before we jump back in and have the same issues again in a couple months, and I honestly think that if I see you right now I’ll fall into your arms without actually fixing anything. I want us to build something strong together, something that lasts.

Evan

Tommy glances over at the tall stack of heavy paper he had bought a couple weeks ago. Yeah, he thinks he can make this work.

***

Evan,

I love that idea. I haven't really written many letters, but I’ve been surprised by how much I’ve been enjoying it. I want to hear about your day and all the weird calls, so tell me here. It doesn’t all have to be the heavy stuff. We can build our foundation on the small moments too, they’re important.

I understand the coffee thing though. I chose the turtle stamps because they seemed like something that would make you smile. A couple weeks ago I made it to the checkout counter with a book I thought you’d like before I realized what I was doing. I put it back, but I’ll go back for it if you let me. It was about a bunch of misconceptions and myths. I mentioned it in my first letter, but scribbled it out because I was afraid it was too much. I guess I didn’t want you to know how badly I missed you. I’m not so afraid of that, now that we’ve talked a bit more.

So, tell me about your weird calls. We picked up a guy who got impaled by a golf club in the middle of the woods. I still have no clue how he managed to do it. We don’t get as many weird calls as you guys do at the 118 — you’re like a magnet for the weirdest of the weird calls. I can’t wait to hear about your day.

Tommy

P.S. I didn’t think it would have to be said, but I’ll be clear just in case – I have no interest in dating or sleeping with anyone else. Ever.

***

Tommy,

I can’t tell you what a relief it is to hear that. I would have made my peace with you being with other people while we’re apart, but it makes me really, really happy that you aren’t.

We do tend to have weirder calls than most other firefighters I’ve talked to. I didn’t realize it when I started at the 118, but after a couple “What do you mean you’ve never cut a premature baby out of a toilet pipe?” conversations, I started to get the message.

This week was like a series of sex mishaps, at least one every shift. Someone got stuck on one of those fucking machines (people use those outside of porn??), someone had an allergic reaction to cherry flavored lube. Some basic accidental handcuffings. I don’t know what’s in the air, maybe it’s because we have a second moon? Did I tell you about the second moon? I will gladly tell you about the second moon. I'm a little obsessed with it, but I think that Hen might slap me if I mention it at work again.

Evan

***

Evan,

You haven’t told me about the second moon — please do. I’ve missed you and your rambling. The house sounds too quiet without you in it. No one has told me a fun fact in weeks.

Yes, people use fucking machines outside of porn. No, I have never used one, and now knowing that it’s possible for someone to get stuck on one, I don’t think I will. I hooked up with someone who had one once, but we never used it.

What's something I might not know about you? I don't think I ever told you about my childhood imaginary friend. His name, oddly enough, was Evan. He was a baseball player and ballerina and had every Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figurine a seven-year-old could dream of.

Tommy

***

When Tommy pulls the contents of his next letter out of the envelope, two pieces of paper slip out. One is labeled as ‘serious’. The other is labeled as ‘fun’, with a smiley face.

Tommy freezes. He holds one in each hand as if weighing them. The serious one seems to burden his hand a little more, so he opens that one first.

Tommy,

This might not be what you were looking for when you asked for something you don't know about me, but I'll take an opening when I get one, and this is something you should know about.

I told you a couple weeks ago that I had been used my whole life. In order to understand me, I think I need to tell you more about my family, and some of the things I didn’t know about until very recently, but really put the puzzle pieces together about why my childhood was the way it was.

My brother had leukemia. His only hope was a bone marrow transfusion. No one in the family was a match. My parents decided to have another kid in hopes that he would be a match. Genetically, I was. But it didn’t take. Daniel died when I was a year old, and my parents were stuck with a savior kid who couldn’t save anything.

I didn’t understand why they couldn’t stand me growing up. I was the wrong son. I was defective. I grew up in the shadow of a dead nine-year-old I didn’t know existed until I was 28. I have always felt the need to be of use, and never known why.

So when I told you I never intended to treat you as nothing more than a method of self-discovery, it was because I’ve been where you thought you were. I’ve been the one who has put myself in a bad place because that’s where I was needed, where I was useful. You’re a person, Tommy; you’re not a tool.

That’s also why I think I cling on to relationships so badly. I need to be needed. The closer we are, the harder it is for them to untangle themselves from me. I’m really happy you’re still letting me be tangled up with you.

Evan

Every cell in Tommy’s body itches to call Evan. He wants to reach out, to pull him into his arms where Tommy knows he’s safe and warm and loved.

He doesn’t. He can’t. He knows why, and he’s not going to cross that line, no matter how good his intentions. He’s not sure he could hold the line if he got word that Evan had been hurt again, but this is an old hurt, one that Evan knows how to cope with. Tommy has no doubt that if this were something Evan needed support with, he would go to Maddie, Eddie, or Bobby about it.

Tommy takes a deep breath and reaches for the other letter, the one adorned with a smiley face.

Tommy,

We are so not using a fucking machine. I’ll take your normal dick, thanks. I do miss it ;)

Speaking of sex stuff, I finally did some research on the Kinsey scale! I think I'm Kinsey two. Kinsey himself was actually an interesting dude, did you know that he disproved the theory that women have stronger orgasms from vaginal stimulation? He also developed the Kinsey scale while he was studying wasps. He wasn’t the best guy (slept with so many members of his staff and research subjects) but his research is fascinating.

Your childhood best friend was named Evan? Talk about an invisible string. I didn't have many friends other than Maddie growing up, but I never had an imaginary friend either. I didn't have any TMNT figurines, and I certainly wasn't cool enough to be a baseball player/ballerina.

Sorry for breaking this letter into two parts. I’m assuming that you opened the other one first? I had been working on it for a couple weeks, but I had to get my thoughts in order before I sent it because it was something I really needed to say, but didn’t want it to disrupt the flow of our conversation.

I almost forgot about the second moon! It’s an asteroid that is in Earth’s orbit until late November. It was probably a part of the Earth billions of years ago…

***

… so Lena let me walk through the entire day with a smudge of ketchup on my face. I think I saw Kareem hand her $20 after I finally wiped it off…

***

… trying to get Eddie to join a trivia night with me so that he leaves the house every once and a while…

***

… I can't believe you've never seen 10 Things I Hate About You! We'll have to watch it together some day…

***

… It's a date …

***

… I was always a lonely kid, and I've always been a lonely adult, too. I'm so jealous of the family you've built in the 118 and how there for each other you all are. I've never had that with anyone, but I wish I had…

***

… They're there for you too, Tommy. Hen, Chim, Eddie… they're your people too, not just mine…

***

…Here's another conversation we should have had months ago: what are your thoughts on marriage?

***

…My thoughts on marriage are very, very positive. Especially with you…

***

Sorry for the postcard, ran out of paper but wanted to tell you that Lucy enjoyed the lemon loaf recipe. Thank you for sending it. Will send a longer letter when I get off shift

xx T

***

…I just made the best roast chicken. I think I’ve peaked. I wish I could have shared it with you. I’ve missed having you keep me company while I’m cooking…

***

… I was afraid of the power I gave you, and that you gave me…

***

… Cap sprung for a new coffee maker and it's changing our lives…

***

… I know what you mean, I can barely stand to be in the kitchen without you, and meals are way too quiet…

***

… Are you still afraid?…

***

… I think I'll always be a little afraid of it, but I'm learning to sit with that and not it let rule me…

***

Just saw 2:17 on the clock, thought of you <3 E

***

… I swear to god, people have got to stop hiking alone with no water. Are they stupid? Just because LA isn’t boiling alive anymore doesn’t mean you don’t need water. We’ve picked up three this shift alone. Bets going around about how long it’ll be until the next one…

Scrap of paper enclosed in envelope: It was an hour, by the way. Kareem won the bet.

***

Things start to blend together.

There are lots of letters. So many that Evan's drawer in Tommy's dresser is getting hard to close, and the thread of their conversations have gotten so convoluted and hard to follow because their letters overlap. Instead of weekly, envelopes are dropped in mailboxes daily. Some have stamps, having traveled all over LA in mail trucks and distribution centers, and others have a plain top right corner, a sure sign that it had been dropped off in person. Checking his mailbox has quickly become Tommy's favorite part of every day.

Tommy has bought two more packs of fancy stationery and four more packs of stamps. He's also started keeping a pack of postcards and stamps in his duffle bag so he can jot down tidbits from his day and slide them into the mailbox around the corner from Harbor. The first pack had been cheesy LA-themed ones, the second had been a pack of zoo-themed ones he got in exchange for making a donation. He's on the third now, a set of sexy firefighter ones he had found online and that Evan had admitted made him laugh out loud. He imagines Evan opening his mailbox and ten postcards sliding out, each with a text message's worth of information. Tommy doesn't think he minds, but if he does he hasn't let on. Evan just responds to each postcard at some point in his own letter.

Most of their letters are silly, but many are serious. They've talked through their problems at length, and Tommy feels closer to Evan than he ever did when they were dating. Emotionally, at least. Physically, Evan is still across the city.

Until he's not.

It all thanks to happenstance. Tommy doesn't look outside before opening the door to go on a run, but with one foot on the welcome mat he looks up to the end of the driveway and freezes. Because there, parked in front of his mailbox, is Evan's Jeep.

And with one hand on the mailbox, there is Evan.

A minute in either direction and Tommy wouldn't be here. He wouldn't be staring at the love of his life who he isn't supposed to be interacting with in person.

Every part of Tommy is screaming for him, longing to run to Evan and meet him halfway across the yard, to fall into his arms in a moment straight out of a rom-com.

But he doesn't. He stares at Evan and his jaw slightly agape in surprise, and his eyes raw and unblinking, as if he closes them for a millisecond, Evan might be gone.

He's gorgeous. When Tommy's eyes break from Evan's, they drag up and down his body. He looks good, largely the same as he did when Tommy left him in his kitchen — but thankfully, much less torn open.

Evan is the first one to move. He breaks out into a grin, the kind that Tommy knows he couldn't hold back if he tried, and lifts his left hand from the top of the mailbox in a little wave.

That's when Tommy notices it. The new tattoo.

He can't make out what it is — maybe a flower or a tree? — but it lays at the front of Evan's bicep, visible only because he's wearing a sleeveless shirt.

Before the moment escapes, Tommy raises his hand and waves back. Evan's smile grows, and he climbs back into the Jeep, glancing back at Tommy every step of the way like he, too, thinks the man in front of him will disappear if he looks away too long.

The Jeep peels away from the curb and down the street, and Tommy's eyes follow until it disappears around the corner.

He stands there for a moment, dazed, with one foot still inside his house. It was… Evan. He's real. This, their reconciliation… it's real. They're working towards something — towards each other.

Tommy steps out onto his porch and goes to retrieve Evan's note from the mailbox.

Tommy—

Since Eddie is Chris-less and I am… in a not-so-long distance relationship? Whatever. Since neither of us have anyone we have to rush home to, I managed to convince him to join that trivia night with me. We're trying to get Hen and Karen to come so we don't have to take in strangers every week to form a team, but haven't succeeded yet.

Anyways, one of the questions this week was the one that knocked Ken Jennings off of his Jeopardy run. The question is about how H&R Block has a majority seasonal employees, and one of the strangers was being so aggressive and insisting that I was wrong because he works for JP Morgan and was SO sure of himself. I was right (OBVIOUSLY) and when they announced the answer and our team won, I just looked at the guy like "I told you so" and he stood up to walk out, and ran right into a pole. It was hilarious (he was fine). You'll make a wonderful, less asshole-y addition to the team whenever it happens.

Evan

It's mundane. It's all so familiar that it makes Tommy ache for him, ache to hear these stories from his perch on the counter top while Evan stirs a new sauce that Bobby gave him the recipe for, or for the words to sit in the inches between their mouths as they lay facing each other in bed late at night, or be whispered into his chest as Evan lays on top of him on the couch after a shift.

Soon, Tommy tells himself. He will hear Evan's voice again soon enough.

***

Evan,

Of course I'll join trivia night, and I promise not to storm out when you get a question right. I'd much rather kiss you about it, because you're adorable when you're smart, and even more adorable when you're smug.

Sorry if I surprised you the other day when you were dropping off your letter. You kind of caught me by surprise, but god, Evan, it was so good to see you. Did you get a new tattoo? What is it?

Tommy

***

Tommy,

Yes, I got a new tattoo. It's Jee-Yun's birth flower. I've been spending a lot of time with her recently, which has been really fun for me and her but less fun for Chim and Maddie, because they have to deal with the sugar rush I give her when I feed her a ton of cookies.

God, you look good. Did you somehow find a way to get hotter? That shouldn't be allowed.

I miss you. I've been missing you this whole time, but seeing you the other day really made me see it. There was a moment where the hole that's been sitting in my stomach the past few months was filled, and I didn't realize how heavy that emptiness was until it wasn't weighing on me for a moment.

I want to see you again, and be able to talk to you this time. Can we meet up? Do you think we're ready for that?

Evan

Tommy's stomach drops. He wishes this had come two weeks later, so he could say yes. But he hasn't told Evan about Henry, and he doesn't think he will be ready to until they talk.

The letter breaks his heart to write.

***

Buck checks his mailbox on the way out the door, and doesn't crack the seal on the envelope until he's sat on the locker room bench at the station before his shift. In just the first few lines of Tommy's letter, Buck's heart plummets.

Evan,

I'm so sorry, but I don't think I'm ready to see each other in person yet. I don't want you to think I'm still running away, but I actually want to make progress towards being a better partner to you.

I promise you, I just need a couple more weeks. I need closure on something that has nothing to do with you, and I'm not sure how to tell you about it yet. It's not that I don't want to; I just don't know how to even start putting it into words, or what conclusions to reach. I know I'm asking for an exorbitant amount of trust from you, but I'm begging you, Evan. I'm not running away this time; I just need to solve this so that I can explain it to you and can finally let you see all of me. I want to see you so badly, but I don't want to fuck things up further by doing it before I'm ready to do it right.

I want to see you more than anything, I do. But I need to get better, not only for you but also for myself.

Love,

Tommy

Buck tries not to feel completely rejected, but it's hard. He had put his heart on the line and been shot down. For a good reason, but still.

He does want Tommy to be in a better place when they reunite. He doesn't want to push that, and he won't. But god, he misses Tommy with his whole being. Seeing him in front of his house had been the final straw, and made the longing in his chest increase tenfold. It hadn't alleviated in the days since.

Usually, he responds to Tommy's letters immediately. This one, however, he lets simmer in his head through his shift. He wants to give Tommy a measured response, not one tinged by the feeling of rejection still stinging behind Buck's eyes.

Everyone notices that he's a bit off. He's not bouncing around like usual. He gets raised eyebrows (Chimney) and concerned looks (Hen) and sympathetic shoulder pats (Eddie), but no one confronts him until late, when most of the team has settled into the bunk room and Buck remains at the table upstairs.

He's fiddling with a piece of string he found in his pocket when a mug appears in front of him. When his eyes follow the arm that set it there, he is unsurprised to find Bobby sitting in the chair next to him.

"What's going on, Buck?" Bobby says in his caring tone, the one that makes Buck wish he had someone to speak to him like that when he was a kid. "You've been quiet all day."

Buck wraps his hands around the mug and lets the tea warm him, ground him. "Tommy and I have been… writing letters."

"I know," Bobby replies, "You've seemed a lot happier since you two got back in contact."

"It was… it was always meant to be temporary, y'know? We both missed each other, but I needed to learn to trust him again and I needed to learn to go slow this time and not jump all the way in, and he needed to work on himself so that when we do get back together, it's… good."

"That sounds very healthy."

"And it has been! But I was dropping a letter off in his mailbox because I wanted him to get it quickly and I… I saw him."

Bobby's eyebrows shoot towards his hairline. "Oh."

Buck lets out a dry laugh and takes a sip of his tea, "Yeah, oh."

"And how was that?"

"It was…" Buck pauses. "God, Bobby, I didn't think it was possible for me to miss him any more. But there he was, in one of those stupid hot sleeveless hoodies, and it just hit me ten times worse."

"So you're just missing him extra today?"

"No, that was… that was a couple days ago. I realized that I was ready, that I… I want to see him again. So I wrote to him saying that, that I wanted to meet up and he…"

"He's not ready yet."

Buck huffs and shakes his head. "I opened the letter when I got here this morning. I haven't replied yet, I — I don't know what to say." He sighs. "I don't know, Bobby. Maybe this has all been a waste of energy. Maybe I should have never sent that first letter and just let him go."

"Well, I don't think that, Buck."

Buck's eyes shoot to Bobby's. "You don't?"

"No, not at all. Look, you do trust him now, right? That he's going to be honest about where he's at instead of just leaving again?"

"I — I thought I did, but now he's —"

"He's telling you where he is now, Buck. He's being honest with you. He's not saying he never wants to meet up, right?"

"No, he — he just said a couple weeks. Something he has to do, but he didn't say what."

"So there's an end in sight. Trust him, trust that he's telling the truth."

Buck looks up at him, eyes a little watery. "Thank you, Bobby."

Bobby's hand lands firmly on Buck's shoulder. "Anytime, Buck." He rises from his chair. "Now let's go get some rest before—"

The scream of the bell shakes the firehouse.

"Before that happens."

Tommy's hands are shaking when he opens Evan's letter. He's terrified that Evan will take this as a rejection of him, instead of something that Tommy doesn't want to do but has to in order to actually fix the problems that made him ruin things in the first place.

***

Tommy,

I understand. Thank you for your honesty, and I'm glad you're making an effort. I don't think you're running, and I appreciate that you trust me enough to be honest about it.

I won't lie, I felt a little rejected at first. That tends to be my immediate reaction to most things, that I'm the problem — even when I know I'm not. But you explained it the best you could, and I do trust you to tell me more when you have the words for it. Until then, I miss you, and I hope whatever it is you're about to do helps you move on and back towards me.

Evan

Tommy lets out a breath and presses the letter to his chest, letting the pure cold relief wash over his shoulders. It was a boundary, but it had… worked. Evan wasn't calling him selfish for it, or accusing him of making excuses, or any of the other catastrophe scenarios Tommy had been imagining over the past couple days.

There's another paper in the envelope, this one an index card Tommy can only assume was nicked from Bobby's office or Hen's leftover study materials.

We had a call involving one someone who had almost a foot of fingernail on each finger. We all trimmed ours immediately after getting back to the station. Did you know the world record holder's longest nail is like 4.5 feet? How do they do anything?

Tommy makes a face and picks up his pen to respond.

***

… That's so gross. I once came across people who had tried and failed to break the world record for largest pizza, and were giving it away. Hey, I'm not going to say no to free pizza…

***

…You know how they say dogs look like their owners? This guy had twelve identical Dachshunds …

***

… I saw Hen and Karen the other day. Karen made it inside the house before chewing me out for messing things up with you…

***

…It's okay, we're recovering from it. Hen said you seemed like you were on steady feet, and I was so relieved to hear it …

***

…I've got plans for tomorrow, and I'm scared shitless. Wish me luck.

***

That's incredibly vague, but good luck. I love you.

Tommy carries that one in his pocket, and traces his fingers over the ink as he steps through the doorway of the cafe.

***

Evan,

I’m ready.

I want to tell you about that last thing I had to do, but it requires some backstory. A couple years after I broke it off with Abby, I got into what I viewed as my first big gay relationship. It was the first time I had seen someone I had sex with multiple times, and saw them outside of when we were sleeping together. I told my coworkers he was my boyfriend. I was head over heels for him, but we never actually talked about what we meant to each other. We really should have, because he saw me as one of many friends with benefits.

I can’t really blame him. I don’t think it counts as cheating if I assumed a promise of exclusivity that was never actually given, but it felt that way. He wasn’t someone who ever planned to settle down with one partner, which is what I wanted. What I want now, with you.

So I did the stupid thing: I stayed.

I thought that if I were a good enough partner, if I were fun enough and enticing enough and supportive enough, he would dump everyone else. I never outright asked him to leave them, or told him that I wanted to be exclusive. I even let him believe that I knew about the others the whole time.

Eventually, he did decide one person was enough for him; it just wasn’t me. He told me he was breaking it off with all his friends with benefits to be with his childhood best friend. Thy hadn't spoken in years, but the friend had just come out of the woodwork with some grand love confession. That’s hard to measure up to. That relationship is what made me feel like I wasn’t long-term material.

I needed to get closure on that fucked up relationship. We met up, and I got it all off my chest. Hearing from him that it had nothing to do with me being inadequate helped, even more than I thought it would.

I told him about you. He asked to meet you, said we could do a double date with him and his spouse. I told him I wasn’t sure I wanted any further contact with him, but that I would think about it. He was understanding.

Which brings me back to us. I miss you, I love you, can we meet up? The coffee shop we went to after that bad first date? I hear it’s pretty good for second chances. I’ll be there next Monday at 2pm. I think that should be enough time for this to get to you, and you to send something back in case you think it isn’t a good idea.

All my love,

Tommy

A grin bursts across Buck's face.

***

Tommy,

I'll be there. I'll save everything for then.

I love you.

Evan

***

Tommy's already claimed a table when Buck arrives ten minutes early. Buck will always recognize the set of his shoulders, even hunched with nervous tension. He's rubbing his thumb along the rim of his coffee mug, and Buck recognizes his usual order sitting across from him.

Tommy ordered their drinks as dine-in. He plans to talk to Buck long enough for both of them to finish their coffees. He plans to stay.

When Buck approaches, he lays a hand on Tommy's shoulder. Tommy looks up at him with open vulnerable eyes, and something blooms across his face — something like gratitude, something like bliss, something like love.

"Hey, Evan."

#LTWrites #.txt #LTW: the center of every poem #911 #fics

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thebooktopus · 3 years ago

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April Showers Week One: Rain/Thunderstorms

The theme of the month is "April Showers"! For Week One, I present: rain & thunderstorms. You'll also find a guest rec from the one and only @the-starryknight, identified by the 💧 emoji!

Next week will be... showers! Have a rec you think belongs on this list? Send me a DM! Recs are Drarry unless otherwise noted.

☔️ Taking Chances by @gracerene // E // 135K // such a great fic about coming home and second chances. the scene below also includes some gorgeous artwork by @ano-ka-ba of drarry kissing in the rain. 10/10 would recommend.

"Over there!" Harry yelled over the cacophonous sound of the rain hitting cars and pavement, waving towards a small awning over the entrance to a closed café. He took off towards cover, half dragging Draco along with him as they picked their way over cobblestones and cracked sidewalks.

☔️ Little Compton Street (One Rainy Night in Soho) by @writcraft with artwork by @celilasart // E // 65K // the magical world of little compton street is so well-developed. writ had drafted this incredible history and soul of this forgotten corner of London. I was totally entranced by this fic, and have the others in the series lined up to read as well!

"I like it.” Harry tips his face up to the rain, ignoring the fact he’s one of Britain’s most powerful wizards in favour of having a moment in the storm. The rain tracks down his cheeks like tears, but his expression is one of pure, unadulterated happiness. A beautiful, messy boy full of contradictions and the fiercest desire to fight, fight, fight.

☔️ To Vanish Into Something Better by @m0srael // E // 35K // I know I've recommended this fic before but try and stop me. It's so good; I remember just feeling the humidity and warmth encompassing me while I read it.

Harry screams into the deafening roar of the rain. How dare the Minister and his DMLE lapdog try and keep Harry penned in and Draco barricaded out. How dare they use Draco like this; hurt him like this. How bloody dare they make Draco believe this was his only option, that he is sacrificing himself and the astounding, perfect world he’s built for the greater good.

☔️ Thunder by @keyflight790 // E // 21K // you'll spend this whole fic begging Draco to take care of himself, to let Harry in. featuring forgiveness and dragons.

"I've got you." Harry's voice filled Draco's ear, louder than thunder, than the rain. Louder than the pounding of the dragon's wings. Louder than Draco's beating heart. Harry's arms wrapped tight around Draco's waist.

More recs (including some art, podfics, & guest recs!) below the cut!

☔️ Saltwater Stain by @the-starryknight // E // 9K // starry's prose is simply poetic, here. you'll feel the rocking of the boat beneath your feet and smell the salt in the air - I got sucked in immediately and know you will too.

They were nearly finished when the rain took to torrent. Suddenly, the air was thick with it, water filling every space where oxygen was meant to land, thick drops choking out the last bit of breathing room. The sky hung even lower, clouds not much higher than the mast.

☔️ It's Raining Drarry by @keepcalmandexpectopatronum934 // E // 5K // a suspicious draco quizzes harry when he turns up naked on his doorstep in the middle of the night. turns into a catalogue of all these two know about each other, very endearing.

At that exact moment, lightning struck and both men broke the kiss, staring out at the rain in surprise as the darkness outside was momentarily illuminated by a blinding white light. Harry’s dreamy expression quickly morphed into one of horror and he stepped out into the rain.

☔️ 1:40AM by @softlystarstruck // T // 4K // perfectly sad with a sweet ending, a gift of a reconciliation textfic from bee.

Draco chokes on his inhale but manages to tell Harry his address, and just as he adjusts his wards there’s a loud pop and Harry is standing in the middle of his living room. Lightning flashes, lighting up his unruly curls, his flannel pajamas, his bare feet.

☔️ A Rainy Day in London by @amarillis39 // E // 2K // NottPott // compact rom-com, so sweet.

"Do you sometimes wonder if it happens in real life?” Potter asked suddenly and Theo turned, waiting for him to elaborate. “You know, like in the books or movies, when you say you’ll meet them on, I don’t know, Blackfriars Bridge, or somewhere. It starts raining, but you wait anyway, and then, just when you think they won’t show up, just when you think it’s over before it even started, deep into the night, you find them standing right behind you, soaked to the bone, with a smile on their face. You both laugh, and then you just kiss, no matter the passers by, no matter the rain.” Potter sounded wistful.

💧In My Solitude Comes Our Rain by @opalesqueopioid // G // 2K // "Opal's writing is always intense in the best of ways, composing unusual worlds and launching us body and mind into them. This fic is exactly that, set amid a rain-filled, lush Tokyo background, and full of intrigue and beautiful wordplay." - starry

The rain in Tokyo is never fresh, and Harry feels like an onsen egg in his Muggle three piece suit, in the heatwave, gently simmering—whereas the thunder rolls crisply down from the night sky, untouched by the sticky fingers of the typhoon.

Artwork & Podfics!

☔️ I plan on getting very wet by @awesomedig // M // art

☔️ Rainy Day by @danasauurrr // G // art

☔️ Under Cover by @shiftylinguini // T // Scorbus // art

☔️ You look at me and I can't breathe by @banana-ge-ge // G // Perciver // art

☔️ Swimming in the Rain by @julietsemophase, podfic by @peony-podfics // T // podfic, 13 minutes

Harry blinked, little rain droplets clinging to his eyelashes. Despite seeing him all the time, Harry wasn’t sure he and Draco had spoken since he and his mother had thanked him after speaking at their trails. “You don’t want to be alone?” he said, coming a little closer.

#booktopus fic recs #april showers #hp fanfiction #drarry #drarry fic #fic rec #scorbus #nottpott #perciver #podfic #rare pair #thunderstorm #rain

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cailynwrites · 1 year ago

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Harry Potter Rec Fest Day 21 - Thought-provoking

@hprecfest - this prompt was itself very thought-provoking, it made me go back and think about the fics that made me close my Kindle and stare at a wall for a while. The fics I love best make me re-examine canon and rethink the things I knew about characters and situations, or even my own life.

The Audacity of Lavender Brown by @malpal132 Pairing: Lavender x Charlie Word count: 6,457 Rating: E

Canon did Lavender Brown dirty. I'm not sure who did her dirtier - JKR or the movies - but I really think she's unfortunately a one-dimensional plot device in a series of books already bereft of strong, admirable female characters. @malpal132 sets out to change this. This fic not only made me rethink Lavender in and out of canon, but female characters in general. Come for the feminism, stay for the sexy smut with Charlie Weasley.

Pop Up Pals by bambimoss Pairing: Draco x Harry Word count: 62,447 Rating: E

I love down-and-out Draco. I think it's a good impetus for a redemption arc and humanizes him for Harry and others who spent years villainizing him. This fic takes it to another level. I got literal stomach aches feeling so sorry and sad for Draco in this fic. As an introvert who doesn't love leaving the house but still experiences loneliness like all humans, I related to his "imaginary friends" and the embarrassment of having your lackluster (as judged by others) personal life outed. I don't want to spoil too much, because this fic is so small and heartbreaking and wonderful. You all need to experience it for yourselves.

************************************************************************

And finally, a couple of little self-recs ...

Keep Your Eyes on Me by @ahhhnorealnamesallowed - a Podfic (Spotify) Pairing: Draco x Harry Word count: 2,786 Length: 17:55 Rating: T

How Harry became a tattoo artist. The descriptions of art in this fic are so beautiful; I can picture them clearly. The writing is efficient and minimalist but evokes so much emotion. I love this alternate journey for Harry - a way for him to work through some of his trauma.

A Gift of True Esteem by @teledild0nix - a Podfic (Spotify) Pairing: Draco x Harry Word count: 53,965 Length: 5:37:00 Rating: E

This is a personal one. I recorded this for the wonderful @teledild0nix at the request of their partner for an anniversary gift. Of course, I said yes! It's a sweet and thought-provoking fic: Hogwarts professors Drarry, educational reform, werewolves, actual queer representation, adorable magical pets. For me, the educational reform was the thought-provoking part, and Liddy does a great job laying out some of the problems with Hogwarts curriculum and then trying to fix it. I so enjoyed recording it, and even moreso the thought of @teledild0nix listening to it.

Mini-soapbox rant to hopefully make my post meta-thought-provoking: Liddy's partner asked me, when recording this, if they could compensate me for my work. I do some paid audiobook work in my free time, but this is fanfic, and I would have done this for free just because it's such a sweet thing for someone to do for a loved one.

(Shouting into the void and very much not at @teledild0nix's lovely partner:) But also don't try to monetize fandom!!! We do this out of love for the fandom and to increase accessibility for those who might not always be able to read. It's fun, it brings people together, and no one should be making money off it! Let's just all scream on the internet about how great and fun it is, okay?

#hprecfest2023 #hp podfic #lavender brown x charlie weasley #drarry #keep money out of fandom

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years ago

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Hi Steph! reading your blog has become a sort of guilty pleasure for me. Thanks for everything, it’s so clear that you put a lot of time and energy into your content. I was wondering if you have any johnlock fics that feature a particularly well-written or memorable original character? I always love to see how authors integrate their own character creations into johnlock stories!

Hey Nonny!

Ahhhh!! This is a GREAT request, because I like well-written OC’s in fics, so yeah, this is a great list to make. Here’s what I recall from my bookmarks. Please add your own faves, friends!

MEMORABLE ORIGINAL CHARACTERS

Ex by Itsallfine (T, 1,248 w., 1 Ch. || Angsty Fluff, Love Confessions, Coming Out, Exes, First Kiss, Fake Relationship, Getting Outed) – One night, in the midst of their post-case high and on the cusp of something more, John and Sherlock run into John’s ex. His ex-boyfriend.

The Prize We Sought Is Won by deathfrisbees (E, 4,610 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, Mild D/S, Oral, Military Kink, Bottomlock) – Sherlock's in love, or in lust, or both--unfortunately, the object of his affections is not only his completely oblivious flatmate, but said flatmate would probably run screaming into the hills should he find out. John's been invited to a wedding--unfortunately, the groom used to serve under him back in Afghanistan, and requests that John wear a uniform he's honestly not sure he fits into. Unfortunately for both flatmates, Sherlock's got a military kink the size of Kandahar and John wants to know if he actually can fit into this uniform or if his eyes are deceiving him. It goes from there.

Time on my hands by Mildredandbobbin (M, 7,179 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-S3, One Night Stands, Mutual Pining, Virgin Sherlock, First Time, Sexual Exploration / Discovery, Desperation, Body Worship) – Virginity’s a construct, a concept—what does losing one’s virginity entail for a gay man anyway? Sherlock wants to fill that particular gap in his knowledge but John won’t, can’t, never will assist and there’s only so much desperately unspoken pining even Sherlock can take.

High and Tight, Soft and Loose by cwb (E, 7,429 w., 1 Ch. || Jealous John, Miscommunications / Misunderstandings, First Kiss / Time, BAMF John, Insecure Sherlock, Clueless Sherlock, POV John, Embarrassed John, Adorable Sherlock, Junk Size, UST / RST) – John pressed the knuckle of his index finger against his mouth and sighed. “So, you're coiled like a spring and ready to be ... sprung?” “If you want to be pedestrian about it, yes.” “Like I said, you should do something about that.” “And like I said, pedestrian. What would you have me do? Take up jogging? Yoga? Oh! Unless you mean –” “I don't mean anything. Let’s drop it.”

Matters of National Security by mistyzeo (E, 8,465 w., 1 Ch. || BAMF John, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Dating, Bisexuality, Arguing, Stupidity, Teasing, First Kiss/Time, Hand Jobs, Frottage, RST, Idiots in Love) – John starts dating a male client of Sherlock's, and Sherlock can't figure out why he's so incensed about it.

High Tide by stardust_made (T, 8,540 w., 1 Ch. || Jealousy, Angst, First Kiss) – A little favour Sherlock stupidly agrees to do for Mycroft leads to John meeting a handsome, affluent man, who is going out of his way to woo him. Sherlock struggles with the situation and with his own reactions to it. Part 1 of The High Tide Series

Iris by slashscribe (E, 11,948 w., 1 Ch. || Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Post-S3) – Sherlock does his best to make John happy when John comes back to 221B with his new baby after the events of Season 3, but Sherlock has a track record of getting things wrong in this area. This story is an exploration of their gradual shift from friends to lovers, told from Sherlock's perspective, full of a lot of pining and lack of emotional awareness.

A Brand of Gold by aquabelacqua (M, 12,757 w., 1 Ch. || Mutual Pining, POV John, Phone Sex, Texting, Masturbation, Long Distance, Drunk Texting) – What am I doing? he wondered. The answer came back at once: Flirting. He let the vital, missing piece snap into place as surely and as cleanly as if it had always been there. He was flirting with Sherlock Holmes.

Twelfth Night by yourdykeinshiningarmor (E, 15,139 w., 5 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Christmas, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Angst & Fluff, BJ’s, Anal) – John is invited to his aunt's Twelfth Night ball. Sherlock offers to attend with him as a friendly face among strangers, but John's family force him to address his true feelings for Sherlock.

Vessel by Rhuia (E, 15,695 w., 1 Ch. || Cancer, Medfic) – That was the surprising bit – the way his doctor said it, eyes shining with sympathy but breathing it out, shifting it off her shoulders and thrusting it onto his, making him take it like an unwanted gift.

A Life Well-Lived by Kate_Lear (E, 20,121 w., 1 Ch. || Original Male Character, Sherlock Woos John, Jealous Sherlock, Reluctant Bi-John, Past Abuse, Insecure John, Reassuring / Caring Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Understanding Sherlock) – John got scared off men by an abusive past relationship. Sherlock has to try and woo him while not scaring him off with protective possessive rage.

Winter's Delights by Kate_Lear (E, 21,173 w., 1 Ch. || Holmes Family, Christmas, Fake Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Bed Sharing, Domestics) – Sherlock takes John home for Christmas to meet the extended Holmes family. Part 1 of Winter's Delights

A Shipless Ocean by myswordfishmind (M, 22,135 w., 4 Ch. || Post-TRF, John has a Kid, Angst, Reunion, Falling in Love, Open Ending) – Ten years after the fall Sherlock goes back to London to find that John no longer lives there. Instead, he resides in a seaside town, a widower, and the father of a seven year old son. Now, Sherlock must struggle with the fact that there may no longer be a place for him in this new world.

Maintaining A Personal Life by Gingerhermit (E, 24,284 w., 6 Ch. || Alternating POV’s, Bisexuality, BAMF!John, Jealous Sherlock, Romance / Drama, Sort-of Case Fic, Peril & Angst, Love Confessions, Toplock, Soft Idiots in Love, Post S3) – Sherlock and John discover some interesting revelations about each other’s sexuality, which lead them both to question the assumptions they've made about one another for years. In the midst of their mutual discoveries, a dangerous psychopath looms on the side-lines who threatens to destroy their new beginning.

26 Pieces by Lanning (E, 28,236 w., 1 Ch. || H/C, Torture, First Time, Happy Ending, Schmoop, Past Abuse) – Mycroft gives Sherlock the apparently simple task of solving a puzzle box containing a stolen microchip. It isn't simple.

Where Else Would I Be? by cwb (E, 34,910 w., 10 Ch. || Retirementlock, Domestic Fluff, Falling in Love, Parentlock, Fluff and Smut, Reminiscing) – John and Sherlock's five-year-old granddaughter spends the weekend with them in Sussex. Sherlock happily indulges her whims, and John takes care of them while quietly revisiting the past thirty years of their lives together.

Classified(s) by blueink3 (E, 36,153 w., 4 Ch. || Wedding Date AU || Fake Relationship, Jealous, PIning, H/C, Idiots in Love, Happy Ending, Mary is not Nice, Escort Service) – Clara's American father is the ambassador to some such territory that Great Britain probably used to own, but she (and Harry’s undying love for her) is the reason John is getting on a flight at 12:30pm, flying across the second largest ocean in the world, and pretending to be in a perfectly happy, healthy relationship with an undoubtedly perfectly coiffed stranger. See, Clara is not only American (and wealthy to boot), she's also best friends with John’s ex-fiancée. Whom she's placed in the wedding party. As Maid of Honor. And John just happens to be Best Man. Bloody brilliant.

Nothing to Make a Song About by emmagrant01 (E, 36,833 w., 10 Ch. || Post-TRF, First Time, Reunion, Jealous John, Pining Sherlock, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, Sherlock Has a Boyfriend) – When Sherlock returned from his faked death, John could not forgive him for the deception and broke off their friendship. Ten years later, John returns to London in search of yet another new beginning. Sherlock, not surprisingly, is waiting.

Set in Stone by SilentAuror (E, 39,309 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Wedding, Therapy, Fluff and Angst) – Sherlock and John are back from Ravine Valley and planning their wedding. However, as they move past the trial of the human traffickers, Sherlock can't help but wonder if he's imagining that John is becoming a little distant. Surely he isn't getting cold feet about the wedding... Part 2 of The Ravine Valley series

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst, Promise of Forever) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

Corpus Hominis by mycapeisplaid (E, 47,709 w., 12 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Case Fic, Fluff, Romance, Frottage, Angst, Anal, Blow Jobs, Rimming, Spas / Massages, Shampoo, Jealousy, Fake Relationship) - John knows the human body intimately. He’s had plenty of opportunity for study as a doctor, soldier, and lover. There’s one particular body, however, he knows very little about. When Sherlock launches himself head-first into a new obsession and they get sent on a case in an unlikely location, the pair discovers each other’s bodies with confusing yet delightful (and sometimes hilarious) results.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w., 26 Ch. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Falling in Love) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

Albion and the Woodsman by Glenmore (NR [E], 54,437 w., 50 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post S3, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst, Family, Drug Use, Depression, Sherlock POV, Light Humour, Reconnecting, Declarations of Love) – Sherlock and John are devastated after Mary Morstan makes her final moves. Sherlock relapses at the crack house, John walks around the world … and a lot happens in between. Parentlock, in the good way.

Wars We Fought, Things We're Not by blueink3 (M, 55,204 w., 10 Ch. || Post S3 / Post TAB, Parentlock, Fluff & Angst, Kidnapping, Whump, Post-TAB, UST/URT, 3G, Mild Peril, Slow Burn, Couple for a Case, Protective Mycroft, Infant Death Pre-Story, Friends to Lovers) – Five months after John's world has fallen apart, Mycroft sends the consulting detective and his doctor on a case that neither is prepared for.

Isosceles by SilentAuror (E, 56,609 w., 7 Ch. || Post-S4, POV John, Original Male Character / Sherlock Dates Another Man, Love Triangle, Jealous John, Virgin Sherlock, Sexual Coaching, Angst, Romance, Domesticity, Unrequited Feelings, Miscommunication, First Kiss/Time, For a Case, Friends With Benefits, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Spooning) – After solving a case for a major celebrity, Sherlock gets himself asked out. When John asks, he discovers that Sherlock has no intention of going, at least not until John agrees to coach him through whatever he might need to know for his date...

The Great Sex Olympics of 221B by XistentialAngst (E, 58,611 w., 10 Ch. || First Time/Kiss, Experiments / Sexual Experimentations, Multi Pairings, Voyeurism) – John Watson thinks Sherlock Holmes should admit that he, Watson, is more of an expert on sex than Sherlock is. But Sherlock refuses to concede the point. He comes up with an experiment plan that will resolve the issue. The results will determine who wins the prize. But sometimes even the best thought-out scientific study has unexpected consequences.

Bridging the Ravine by SilentAuror (E, 58,887 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Couple For a Case, Bed-Sharing, First Times, Confessions, Awkwardness, Sex Trafficking, Massages, Wet T-Shirt Contest, Group Therapy, Past Loss of Child) – Sherlock and John go undercover at Ravine Valley, a therapy centre for same-sex male couples in an investigation into a possible human trafficking ring. As they pose as a couple and fake their way through the therapy sessions for the sake of the case, it quickly becomes difficult to avoid discussing their very real issues. Set roughly six nine months after series 4.

The Bells of King's College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It's only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths...

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w., 18 Ch. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he's a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover's trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world's highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

Secrets and Revelations by Hisstah (E, 83,535 w., 9 Ch. || Sentinel / Guides Omegaverse AU || Adventure, Violence, Anal / Oral, Omega!John / Alpha!Sherlock, Case Fic, Politics, Mild DubCon) – Dr John Watson has some major secrets that he's kept from his flatmate, Alpha Sentinel Sherlock Holmes. Now the Sentinel Tower is after him. Can John stay out of their hands until he can reveal his secrets to Sherlock? Part 1 of Secrets and Revelations

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater / Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

Maintenance and Repair by patternofdefiance (E, 106,650 w., 71 Ch. || Future AU, Augmentation || Augmented John, Depression, Body Modification, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Sci-Fi, Self-Care, Body Dysmorphia) – John wants to explain the rush of sensation and data, which is just another form of sensation (or is it the other way around?). John wants to say: Augmentation circuits report temperature, pressure, various forms of quantitative input. Sudden changes are reported as pain, since sudden changes are dangerous, and pain is the quickest way to encourage reflexive extraction. But all John can manage is, “Nng.” Because this sudden touch is not reporting as pain. Part 2 of STATIC

The Burning Heart by May_Shepard (M, 119,150 w., 21 Ch. || Canon Divergence, Post-TRF, John’s Sexuality, S3 Rewrite, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV John Watson, John’s Gay) – When Sherlock dies, John Watson feels like his life is over too. He’s completely shut down, until Mark Morstan, a new nurse at John’s medical clinic, catches his attention, and helps him uncover the long buried truth of his attraction to men. Although he’s certain he’ll never get over Sherlock, John plans to move on, and build a new life with Mark, unaware that Sherlock is not quite as dead as he appears, and that Mark is hiding secrets of his own.

The Swan Triad Series by Pennin_Ink (T, 121,660 w. across 3 works || Swan Lake AU || Magical / Fairy Tale AU, Romance, Falling in Love, Pining, Psychological Torture, Transformation) – Sherlock and John grow up spending every summer together. Their mothers' attempts to play matchmaker only fuel their mutual resentment and scorn. But then, one summer.

Colors by Quesarasara (E, 140,537 w., 17 Ch. || Pleasantville-Inspired AU || Soulmates, Colour Bonds, Alternating POV, Angst, Fluff, Pining, Case Fic, Medical Procedures) – Everyone on earth is born with eyes that see in black, white, and an endless series of greys. When you meet your soulmate, you finally see the world in color. We're all searching for the person who brings color to our lives. John and Sherlock are no exception. Part 1 of The Colors 'Verse

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

The Lost Special: Family Matters (As Do Relationships) by ShirleyCarlton (M, 144,688 w., 40 Ch. || S4 Fix It Fic, Unreliable Narrator, John’s Mind Bungalow, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending) – Sherrinford is not really the name of some high security prison. That was just a figment of John’s frantic coma dream. And Eurus is not actually Sherlock’s sister. That’s just something random she said to John before shooting him. Sherlock and John were never actually estranged. That was just their act to cover up what really happened to Mary – or Rosamund Moran, as her real name has turned out to be. Sherlock does have a secret sibling, though, and his name is Sherrinford. After finally eliminating Moran – though in a rather dramatically different way than they had envisioned – and exposing the truth about Eurus, John encourages Sherlock to delve into his past and to find out whether the reasons to keep Sherrinford away from Sherlock were the right ones, and to discover what really happened in 1981. Along the way, Sherlock and John gradually, finally, stop keeping each other at a distance, and eventually become a proper family of their own. (SC’s version of Sherrinford may as well be an OC; he’s well written and different from Canon)

Sketchy by serpentynka (E, 184,053 w., 83 Ch. || Post-TRF, Post-Mary, John Whump, Slow Burn Love Story, Case Fic, Art, Porn With Feelings, Switchlock, Travelling, Career Change, Family Secrets, Illness / Health) – What (and who) will be left when nobody cares about your Work? A slow-burn fic with cases, places, mistaken identities, unfair choices, essential changes, violent feels, blatant lies, fearless portraiture, family secrets, high-risk bespoke gifts, durable friendships, bedtime stories, foreign travel and tongues, sickness (and health), and the significance of things which are slow to unfurl -- but cannot be ignored. Oh, and...porn. Part 1: Sherlock takes on an obvious case (barely a 4) and meets someone who will force him to re-examine what it means to see. Part 1 of Sketchy

The Gilded Cage by BeautifulFiction (E, 326,887 w., 31 Ch. || Omegaverse || Omega Sherlock / Alpha John, Friends to Lovers, Dub Con, Reproductive Rights) – In a world where Omegas are the property of the elite Alphas, locked away and treasured by those wealthy enough to buy them, John never questioned his flatmate's secondary gender. Sherlock Holmes was an Alpha through-and through. Wasn't he? A chance discovery turns the world on its head, and John is left grappling to come to terms with Sherlock's past as events conspire to threaten their future.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #original characters #my fic recs #Anonymous #long post

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cadence-talle · 4 years ago

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December Fandom Roundup

only a day late this time!! this past month, we have:

- discovered that we all pronounced the last name “Talle” wrong (which was especially embarrassing for me since. you know. it’s my url.)

- found out that there are apparently only two doctors in all of the Lost Cities

- started a WLW Keeper ships blog

- loved & supported Elliot Page (this has nothing to do with KOTLC it was just important)

- shipped Dex and Jensi (Densi??)

- done like five million voice reveals

- started an angst cult

- started a fluff cult

- made too many cursed headcanons about character’s eyes (see: “Fitz’s eyes glow in the dark”, “all elves have slit pupils like cats”, etc)

- more Food War shenanigans. this is going to become a recurring thing on the roundup isn’t it

- simped over Evil!Oralie again

- screamed about the fact that my parents know Tui Sutherland

- Banana Noir. i literally do not know how to describe that particular chaos, but Banana Noir.

- drawn an elaborate family tree

- attempted to save Akki from her Banana Marriage™

- dealt with what happened in Unlocked by making a LOT of memes

- expressed our all-encompassing love for Sophie and Amy Foster

- been terrified of and/or saved by the possible cosmic deity that is Catboy Bronte

- sent Too Many anonymous asks to our secret santas

- discovered that none of us actually use settings in our fics

- gotten highly confused over Connor and Cas (again)

- come to the conclusion that Ivy is the Token Straight Friend™ of the fandom

- given SO MANY amazing Secret Santa gifts!!

- been witness to the greatest love story of this era, AKA Farris and Larry the Rose Guy

- *sucks in a deep breath* i don’t want to say it. *whispers* discourse.

- listened to Maya’s frankly wonderful podfics

- participated in the Mishapocalypse 2

- and appreciated each other a whole heck of a lot.

in other words...

happy new year!! let’s make 2021 a little more bearable (and probably chaotic) together.

#i was in 23 out of the 28 of these #lynn rambles #fandom roundup #kotlc #backseat shenanigans

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museaway · 5 years ago

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Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of calls for fic readers to leave comments, and while I absolutely agree that leaving feedback is good practice and everyone should do it, we need to nix this idea that a reader is obligated to leave the kind of feedback authors want (or any at all).

Bear with me.

Fandom is a gift economy. Instead of services for money, we exchange fanworks for a response. Reader response comes largely in two forms because of AO3: comments and kudos. Receiving these can be a huge morale booster for authors. A lack of feedback from readers can make you feel like you’re writing in a void. Sometimes writers stop writing because they don’t feel it’s worth their time, or they find fandoms where feedback is more plentiful. A single meaningful comment can change that. Seriously. Someone liked a fic enough they figured out how to leave multiple kudos? That author is going to have a great day.

Beyond supporting their writing, leaving feedback on an author’s work can also lead to friendship if a reader and a writer hit it off. And if the reader also creates stuff, a writer might even check it out (that shouldn’t be your motivation for leaving feedback and please don’t advertise your own stuff in a comment — that would be pretty rude — but it’s a neat side effect).

So feedback is important. Feedback feeds the fandom economy by validating writers’ time, and in turn, those writers will probably churn out more fic. (Not surprisingly, positive feedback is considered the most valuable since it contributes to good feelings, and happy writers are usually happy to keep writing.) It’s also polite to thank someone for a gift. Just like you might send a thank you if someone sent you a birthday present, if you enjoyed a fic you read, consider pressing that kudos button or dropping a comment. For most fic writers, that interaction is the only reward they get in exchange for the time they put into writing.

But no reader is obligated to leave feedback any more than a writer is obligated to write fic. To put it another way, writers are not entitled to a reader’s feedback any more than readers are entitled to a writer’s fic. If readers may not demand what authors write about or how often we publish new chapters, then authors may not demand certain types of feedback from readers (or any). The gift concept goes both ways. A gift is given willingly, without the expectation of anything in return, even a thank you.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s rude not to acknowledge a gift, but there can be no obligation in the giving of one, otherwise it wasn’t a gift in the first place. Did you ever receive a “gift” with expectations attached? Tacky. Same concept.

Most fic writers I know adore feedback. It’s natural to hope for it and feels terrible when you don’t receive it, but if we turn commenting into a chore, I honestly think we’ll see less of it. So if you want to encourage feedback, let readers know you’d love to know their thoughts. Reply if they leave you a message. That’s all we can do.

I do wonder if some people might feel shy about commenting or not know what to say. If you fall into this category, know that there is nothing wrong with saying simply “Loved this” or “Thank you for sharing.” You do not have to write an essay. And for anyone who would like to support an author but wants to avoid comments for any reason, here are some alternatives:

Leave kudos. There is nothing wrong with only leaving kudos. You don’t need an AO3 account to do this. Just click the button and your kudos will be given anonymously.

Share the fic with your friends. If the author made a post on their social media, maybe reblog or retweet it.

Respond to an author’s fic post on social media with a brief message or an emoji. (I’ve been told some authors don’t really like feedback on Twitter, but I’m really happy if someone will talk to me in public.)

Make them something. If you are an artist and you loved a fic, but you don’t know how to express that, maybe doodle something from it. Do you make podfics? Record a chapter. I can almost guarantee the author will scream out of excitement.

Subscribe to the author’s AO3 account or follow them on social for updates

Also: It’s 100% okay to leave comments on older fic or to leave comments on multiple fics. Absolutely no author will find this weird. You’re not bothering them.

#I don't know how to tag this #fanfiction

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beatrice-otter · 5 years ago

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Longfic Recs

So, over in fictional_fans, melannen is doing a collaborative set of longfic recs for while we're all staying inside and physically isolated from one another. Here's my first set of contributions. Almost all of these are over 50k, and many of the ones who say they're shorter are just the first stories in their series. But there are a few shorter ones that I couldn't not rec.

DC:

Nature and Nurture (109065 words) by lurkinglurkerwholurks Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Batman & Red Hood, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Cassandra Cain & Bruce Wayne, Cassandra Cain & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Barbara Gordon & Bruce Wayne, Barbara Gordon & Dick Grayson Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, Red Hood (DCU), Nightwing, Oracle (DCU), Alfred Pennyworth, Damian Wayne, Tim Drake, Cassandra Cain, Selina Kyle, Harvey Dent Additional Tags: Distressing screams, Jason Todd is Red Hood, In which Red Hood panics mildly, Age Regression/De-Aging, But not cutesy de-aging, There are hugs and kisses though, Rated for Profanity, It was Jason of course, Mention of loss of parents, Angst, Angst and Feels, Mention of canon drug use, Mild Blood, Surprise the profanity is also Bruce, Angst and Hurt/Comfort Summary: It was a no good, very bad night all around, and it kept getting worse. In which the writer explores some classic tropes, indulges in some BatFam feels, and explores the effects of nature and nurture on the psyche of one Bruce Thomas Wayne. I Wanna Kiss You Like They Do In The Movies (4745 words) by Cy_kun Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Underage Relationships: Damian Wayne/Colin Wilkes Characters: Colin Wilkes, Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne Additional Tags: Fluff, Humor, tiny boyfriends, with tiny crushes, Bruce really doesn't understand his son's smol future husband, they're both ten, so obviously no sex, I mention Christmas once so this will probably count as my Christmas story Series: Part 1 of Son of Batman Summary: "Mr Batman, can I marry Damian?" Or, the one where Colin can't stop thinking about kissing Damian, and for some reason thinks Bruce can handle that. Countless Roads (231868 words) by nirejseki, robininthelabyrinth Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Mick Rory/Leonard Snart Characters: Leonard Snart, Mick Rory, Leonard Snart's Mother, Lisa Snart, Lewis Snart, Barry Allen, Wally West, Jefferson "Jax" Jackson, Iris West, Cisco Ramon, Caitlin Snow, Eobard Thawne | Harrison Wells, Nora Allen, Zoom, Earth-2 Harrison "Harry" Wells, Ronnie Raymond, Martin Stein, Earth-2 Ronnie Raymond, Earth-2 Caitlin Snow, Earth-3 Jay Garrick, Sara Lance, Ray Palmer, Rip Hunter, Kendra Saunders, Carter Hall, Time Masters (DC's Legends of Tomorrow), Time Wraiths (The Flash), George "Digger" Harkness Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Ghosts, DEADFIC, Very Long Fic, Canonical Child Abuse, Canon-Typical Violence, not a slow burn Summary: Due to a family curse (which some call a gift), Leonard Snart has more life than he knows what to do with – and that gives him the ability to see, speak to, and even share with the various ghosts that are always surrounding him.

Sure, said curse also means he’s going to die sooner rather than later, just like his mother, but in the meantime Len has no intention of letting superheroes, time travelers, a surprisingly charming pyromaniac, and a lot of ghosts get in the way of him having a nice, successful career as a professional thief.

Sometimes I wish I could fly, Like a bird up in the sky (8815 words) by fresne Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kal-el/Lois Lane Characters: Kal-el, Lois Lane Additional Tags: Character of Color, Biracial Character, Chromatic!Superman, Chromatic Character, Dark Agenda, Racebending Revenge Challenge, Podfic Available Summary: Written for the Racebending Challenge. For the challenge to depict a white character as a chromatic character, Kryptonians are black and Kal-El landed in Kansas in the Action Comic timeline.

This one's a WIP, but it is such an interesting idea, skillfully written, that I couldn't resist reccing it.

Robins and Other Flightless Birds (84920 words) by Ionaperidot Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent Characters: Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Cassandra Cain, Damian Wayne, Kate Kane, Talia al Ghul, Athanasia al Ghul Additional Tags: Dad Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson is a Talon, catatonic jason, tim drake was joker junior, bruce wayne's messiah complex, in which bruce runs around the multiverse collecting orphans, Kon and Selina and Oliver Queen are around, and various assorted Justice League members Series: Part 1 of Flightless Birds Summary: It begins with another Bruce, looking around his cave and asking, “So where are the kids?”

Bruce has never thought about having a family before. But once the idea occurs to him, it's hard to think about anything else.

Latchkey (54546 words) by goldkirk Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Tim Drake, Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Alfred Pennyworth, more to be added as the story progresses, Ace the Bat-Hound Additional Tags: Tim Drake-centric, Kid Tim Drake, Listen I play fast and loose with canon, Bruce is charmed by Tim’s genius and stupid brain, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, Child Neglect, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Warnings will be posted as necessary with each chapter, Batfamily (DCU), none character deaths with left found family, in this house we love and appreciate therapy lessons and trauma recovery, and also proper care and keeping of children, Tim Drake Gets a Hug, Sibling Bonding, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Stalker Tim Drake, You think DICK is a mama hen? get ready for not-dead Jason Todd!!!!!, Jewish Bruce Wayne, Jewish Tim Drake, lots and lots of comfort Summary: Or, How Tim Drake Found A Family, Became A Photojournalist, Learned To Love Coffee, and Grew Up, not necessarily in that order.

Tim Drake is thirteen, runs the famous BatWatch blog that has spiraled hilariously out of control, has absentee parents that suit his purposes just fine, is training himself to run the streets at night, and is doing absolutely peachy, thank you. Alfred and Jason disagree, and get Dick and Bruce involved in figuring out their weird nextdoor neighbor kid’s life. Everything goes uphill from there.

If You Don't Grow (105707 words) by GeneratorCat Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Tim Drake/Jason Todd Characters: Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Barbara Gordon, Clark Kent, Kon-El | Conner Kent, Bart Allen Additional Tags: good big brother Dick, Healing, Slow Burn, Tim and Jason are kids at the start of this but worry not- nothing happens for a while, tags to be added as the story develops, Past Abuse, Smoking, Dick is trying his best, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Someone gets punched, but they deserve it, Tim starts off a little brat, but then gets some sweet sweet character development, though don't be mistaken he's still a mischievous boy, Embarrassment, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Homeschooling, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dick has anger issues, talking! about feelings!, has been described as: Lots of broken birds being rehabilitated by each other, and i must agree, Batman!Dick, lots of hugs, awkward sex talks, Demisexual Tim Drake, Knitting, Found Family, Cuddles, we getting soft y'all, Pining, Bruce is trying, Perceived Homophobia, Abandonment Issues, even more awkward sex talks, graysexual Jason Todd, embarrassing dad Dick Grayson, god they're so in love, god jason is an idiot, Accidental Boner, someone gets punched again, Fix-it fic, First Kiss, Masturbation, Jason Todd's sweet sixteen Summary: “I need to take care of myself. I can take care of myself.” “You shouldn’t have to, you’re just a kid.” God, does Dick know that. He knows what it feels like to be doing things you shouldn’t have to do at such a young age. About feeling like you have to take care of yourself, be strong and useful.

He knows now it’s bullshit.

(Officer Dick Grayson meets Jason on the street.) ((Alternatively titled: In which Dick pulls a Bruce))

one day this will all be yours (32586 words) by suzukiblu Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kon-El | Conner Kent & Lex Luthor, Clark Kent & Kon-El | Conner Kent, Superboy & Team, Kon-El | Conner Kent/M'gann M'orzz Characters: Kon-El | Conner Kent, Lex Luthor, Clark Kent, M'gann M'orzz, Kaldur'ahm (DCU), Dick Grayson, Artemis Crock, Wally West, Mercy Graves Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Timeline, Family Drama, Family Feels, Found Family, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, Protectiveness, Amnesia, Temporary Amnesia, Father-Son Relationship, Two Fathers, Parent-Child Relationship, Team as Family, Team Bonding, Kidnapping, Flashbacks Summary: “You know, I used to think if I had different parents my life would be different,” Artemis says neutrally as she lines up a shot, and Superboy looks away from the punching bag, a little surprised to hear her speak.

Marvel:

god loves everybody, don't remind me (70381 words) by napricot Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Erik Killmonger & T'Challa Characters: Erik Killmonger, T'Challa (Marvel), T'Chaka (Marvel), Ramonda (Marvel), Shuri (Marvel), Okoye (Marvel), Nakia (Black Panther), N'Jobu (Marvel), Erik Killmonger's Mother, Bast, Linda (Black Panther movies), W'Kabi (Marvel), Ulysses Klaue, Everett Ross, Zuri (Marvel) Additional Tags: Time Loop, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Wakanda (Marvel), Djalia | Ancestral Plane (Marvel), Erik Killmonger Lives, Family Summary: N’Jadaka didn’t believe in the gods of his people. But belief was not a prerequisite of the gods’ attention, and the blood of the Panther tribe ran in N’Jadaka’s veins. Bast took hold of his soul in her mighty jaws and lifted it free of his body. She gave him a warning shake, just as she would a misbehaving kitten, and set him back. With one careful claw, she tweaked his path through time into a twisting loop. Wayward and abandoned though he was, N’Jadaka was still of her tribe. He could set things right, if given the chance.

Erik gets a do-over. Erik gets a lot of do-overs. Or: Erik Killmonger's own personal version of Groundhog Day, only with a lot more murder, dying, trips to the ancestral plane, awkward family conversations, and divine intervention.

If They Haven't Learned Your Name (237623 words) by silentwalrus Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Characters: Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Pepper Potts, Maria Hill, Clint Barton, Nick Fury, Peggy Carter, Phil Coulson, Thor Additional Tags: Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, standard Winter Soldier trauma umbrella, POV Alternating, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Weirdness, Llamas, Bucky Barnes Has A Complicated Relationship With UFOs, Thirty Korean Grandmothers, Steve And Sam Vs. Canoe, Natasha Is Taking It Personally, Consent Issues, One (1) Orgasm, Podfic Available, Russian Translation Available, do not copy to another site Summary: Steve gets out of the hospital in two days, but just barely. “I’m fine,” he tells Sam, Nurse Eunjung and the phalanx of doctors assigned to make sure Captain America didn’t bleed out and die and get bad PR all over their nice clean hospital. “I have an advanced healing factor. It’s fine. See? I’m standing.”

“That is not standing,” Sam tells him.

“You’re bending the IV stand,” Nurse Eunjung adds pointedly. “Let go and sit down, they don’t grow on trees.”

aka Steve and Bucky's Global Honeymoon Revenge World Tour.

You Would Be In Clover (126894 words) by ChibiSquirt Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson Characters: Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Howard Stark, Peggy Carter, Sharon Carter (Marvel), Natasha Romanov (Marvel) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Gay Bucky Barnes, Female Steve Rogers, Marriage Proposal, Marriage of Convenience, Religion, Miscarriage, Smoking, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Sexism, Closeted Character, Open Marriage, Crossdressing, Howard Stark/Steve Rogers (minor ship), Bucky Barnes/Others (offscreen), Polyamory, Vaginal Fingering, Penis In Vagina Sex, Oral Sex, Mutual Masturbation, Rimming, Consensual Sex, First Time, First Kiss, Period-Typical Racism, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Genderswap, Genderbending Summary: Sarah “Gwen” Rogers was nineteen when she married Bucky Barnes, and she knew at the time just how stupid it was: it wasn’t exactly a brilliant move to marry a man who could never love her, even—or especially—when she knew that she was in love with him.

Neither of them could have predicted the war that came, and if they had, then they sure as hell couldn’t have predicted what would happen when Gwen volunteered for Project: Rebirth.

fight like girls for our place at the table (52110 words) by napricot Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Sharon Carter/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes & Sharon Carter Characters:Sharon Carter (Marvel), Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Steve Rogers, Nick Fury, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Peggy Carter, Antoine Triplett, James "Bucky" Barnes Additional Tags: Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, POV Sharon Carter (Marvel), Slow Burn, Surveillance, Double Dating, Bucky Barnes' Attempts at Being a Wingman, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Time Summary: “Am I on Cap watch because of who my aunt is?” Sharon asks Fury point-blank the second she sits in his office.

“That’s part of the reason, yeah,” Fury says. Sharon narrows her eyes at him, and opens her mouth to object. “But not all of the reason. This isn’t a demotion.”

“It sure feels like a demotion. You’re taking me out of the field and out of intel analysis to babysit Captain America.”

How Sharon Carter gets her groove back, fucks up some Nazis, and gets the girl, with unasked for assists from a super soldier couple.

Châtelaine et senêschale (21859 words) by Feather Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Pepper Potts & Original Female Character Characters: Pepper Potts, Tony Stark, Original Female Character Additional Tags: Pepper Potts and her team of badass ladies, ladies in the Tower, hypercompetent women, people with absurdly high IQ, Pepper wants to save the world, Pepper runs a super-efficient company, acute traumatic stress disorder, Post-Battle of New York, Post-Iron Man 3, Pepper is kind of not okay, quietly retconning implausible/insulting canon moments, Tony's terrible people skills Series: Part 1 of Settle in and find your home Summary: A quintet of essential moments including the Stark Industries Chief Legal Officer.

This is the first in a series of stories about side characters in Your Blue Eyed Boys, a massive Stucky series dealing seriously with Bucky's trauma. YBEB is awesome, but Settle in and find your home is even better.

Where the Need is Greatest (19717 words) by Niitza Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers Characters: Steve Rogers, Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, Tony Stark, Original Characters Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Steve Rogers vs. the American Military, paramedic steve rogers, Médicins Sans Frontières | Doctors Without Borders, Syria, Syrian Civil War, Hydra, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Implied/Referenced Torture, POV Alternating, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Somewhat dark humor, Nick Fury Doesn't Get Paid Enough For This Shit, Humanitarian Intervention, Implied/Referenced Violence, Timeline What Timeline, Podfic Available, do not copy to another site Summary: In which Steve Rogers takes one look at the history of American military interventions since the end of World War II and nopes straight out of it, follows in his Ma's footsteps to become a paramedic, joins Doctors Without Borders, gets sent on an unsanctioned humanitarian mission to Syria, and somehow still ends up being a determining factor in Hydra's downfall - all of this without throwing a single punch. Somehow, he's okay with it.

This one's short, but oh, so good

Scents and Sensibility: The Working Assassin's Guide to Supersoldier Seduction(93216 words) by skellerbvvt, silentwalrus, galwednesday Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Characters: Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Melinda May, Maria Hill, James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers Additional Tags: Clownfish ABO, Everyone Has A Peen And A Vageen, Gender Spectrum Society, Scents & Smells, Courtship, Alternate Universe, One Thousand And One Blankets, Pod People But Not Like That, Precious Idiot Virgin Winter Soldier, Institutionalized Softism, Curtain Fic, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Bathing/Washing, Melon Tending, Transformative Works Welcome, do not copy to another site Summary: Captain America wakes up from the ice in 2013. The Winter Soldier wakes up in 2009, or rather defects from HYDRA, for a value of defect that’s closer to decimate. He ends up working for SHIELD. In April 2014, he’s assigned to Captain America’s mission as a sniper.

Steve’s just trying to get some kind of life together. Bucky is too, or at least he was until tall, blond and Captain shows up and starts just - being there, all the time. It’s terrible. It’s the worst. He has to do something about it.

the other side of infinity (84282 words) by tielan Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Nick Fury & Maria Hill, Maria Hill & Sam Wilson & Bucky Barnes & Wanda Maximoff, Maria Hill & Jane Foster, Peter Quill & Groot & Mantis & Drax, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Nick Fury & T'Challa, Maria Hill/Steve Rogers, Maria Hill & Sam Wilson Characters: Maria Hill, Nick Fury, T'Challa, Sam Wilson (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, Peter Parker, Stephen Strange, Jane Foster (Marvel), Loki (Marvel), Brunnhilde | Valkyrie (Marvel), Hela (Marvel), Groot (Marvel), Mantis (Marvel), Drax the Destroyer, Rocket Raccoon, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Carol Danvers, Hulk (Marvel), Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Clint Barton, Thor (Marvel), Ayo (Marvel), Wanda Maximoff, Vision (Marvel), Chewie | Goose (Marvel) Additional Tags: Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), action-adventure, Canon-Typical Violence, Infinity Gems, Infinity Gauntlet, Sacrifice, Fan theories, Avengers: Infinity War Fix-It, Eventual Happy Ending, infinity war fix-it, this really is my endgame, Trope: Against All Odds, Infinity (Marvel), Canon Divergence - Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Infinity Stone Soul World (Marvel), Soul Gem (Marvel) Summary: On the other side of the moment, those turned to dust may no longer be 'alive', but they're damn well not helpless. This is the story of how they saved themselves.

when i die i’ll sacrifice (more than enough for the afterlife) (41322 words) by notcaycepollard Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Natasha Romanov & Sam Wilson Characters: Natasha Romanov (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Nick Fury, Phil Coulson, Maria Hill, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Additional Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Endgame, Various Background Relationships - Freeform, Red Room (Marvel), discussion of Red Room reproductive violence, Pining, spot the Marvel cameos, Family, animal cruelty mention, animal death mention Series: Part 1 of a flame in two cupped hands Summary: The fall is longer than Natasha expects. It’s tears cold on her face, teeth bitten all the way through her lip and the taste of copper in her mouth; she’s falling and falling and then, bracing for impact—she wakes up.

Downton Abbey:

Halo Effect (81331 words) by Alex51324 Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Thomas Barrow/Original Male Character(s), Thomas Barrow & Anna Bates Characters: Thomas Barrow, Anna Bates, John Bates Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, season one AU, Edwardian Gays, Historical Accuracy, Great War, Period-Typical Homophobia Series: Part 1 of Halo Effect Summary: The Halo Effect is the tendency for a positive impression in one area to produce a more generous or optimistic interpretation of ambiguous information in other areas. When Thomas rescues Lady Mary from the nefarious attentions of Turkish houseguest Kemal Pamuk, his employers and coworkers begin to see him differently...and Things Get Better.

A Season One AU diverging from canon in Episode 3, The One Where The Turkish Gentleman Dies in Mary's Bed.

Star Wars:

Hindsight is Not Perfect (61864 words) by DAsObiQuiet Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Shmi Skywalker, Watto (Star Wars), Qui-Gon Jinn, Padmé Amidala, Yoda, Siri Tachi, Palpatine | Darth Sidious, Finis Valorum, Panaka (Star Wars), Mace Windu Additional Tags: Time Travel, Fix-It of Sorts, Time Travel Fix-It, Redemption, Well he tries Series: Part 1 of Force of Many Sights Summary: Paved with good intentions or not, the road back from Hell is a difficult, slippery slope for those who choose to walk it as Anakin has. Now he has to face the consequences of his choices, avoid suspicion of everyone from the Jedi Council to Palpatine and try to prevent the future from turning out as badly Before all while somehow finding a way to balance the Force... again!

Shape-Changer (2330 words) by Fialleril Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader, Palpatine, Shmi Skywalker, Kitster Banai, a Tatooine wise woman Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Double Agent Vader, Storytelling, Tatooine Slave Culture, Small Acts of Resistance, Tricksters, Worldbuilding, Original Mythology Series: Part 1 of Double Agent Vader Summary: His Master liked to say that Vader was born in fire on Mustafar. But Ekkreth was born in the desert.

New Lands for the Living (50241 words) by SassySnowperson Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Poe Dameron/Luke Skywalker Characters: Poe Dameron, Luke Skywalker, Owen Lars, Beru Whitesun, Winter Celchu, Leia Organa, Bodhi Rook Additional Tags: Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, POV Poe Dameron, Marriage of Convenience, Slow Burn, (with a fast marriage), Pining for Spouse, Action/Adventure, Angst and Humor, Canon-Typical Violence, Additional Warnings In Author's Note Summary: The war is over, and nobody won. With the galaxy on the verge of destruction, Poe Dameron hatches a desperate plan—go back in time. But Poe's plan quickly goes awry, and he finds himself on the run from local authorities. The only plan to keep him safe is…extreme, to say the least.

"Can't get you citizenship documents," the man muttered, his voice clearer now that it wasn't muffled by the scarf. Poe took a deep breath and forced himself to think. He looked back at his would-be rescuer.

Who was shoving the scarf back from the top his head, revealing a face that Poe knew. That lots of people knew. Kriff, that everyone knew, trillions upon trillions of sapients in the galaxy would recognize that face.

Luke Skywalker—as fresh-faced and young as the day he became the successful destroyer of the Death Star—was standing in front of him.

Fuck.

"Need a land grant to get a moisture farmer licence, can't even get you a travel visa without citizenship documents…Hm," the legend said, sighing. "Yeah. I think we're going to have to get married."

Things You Missed in History Class (3713 words) by Grey_Bard Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Finn (Star Wars), Rey (Star Wars) Additional Tags: Time Travel Fix-It Summary: Having traveled back in time, Rey and Finn have decided to set right what once went wrong. Too bad they have no idea what actually once went wrong.

This one is short but it is SO GOOD, HOLY COW

Imperial Radch

Fragments (30130 words) by pipistrelle Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Awn Elming & Justice of Toren One Esk, Awn Elming/Justice of Toren One Esk Characters: Awn Elming, Justice of Toren (Imperial Radch), Justice of Toren One Esk Four Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives but not quite, Fix-It, imagine if the dumbest and most lovestruck segment of One Esk ran away with Awn and had a picnic, that's where this fic lives, Awn survives, lots of talking, and swearing, a little bit of plot but not much, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Pining, Worldbuilding, Fake Marriage, kind of, Queerplatonic Relationships Summary: “We're fleeing Radch space. Of course we’re fleeing Radch space, I refused an order and you...” She paused. Then, very clearly and feelingly, she said, “Fuck.” Sometimes the path of justice and beneficence is clear. Sometimes you have to make your own.

Check, Please!

From the Ground Up (167381 words) by Rianne Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kent "Parse" Parson/Original Male Character(s) Characters: Kent "Parse" Parson, Original Male Character(s), Original Characters, Jeff "Swoops" Troy, Las Vegas Aces (Ensemble), Original Male Character(s) of Color, Original Female Character(s) Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Angst, Fluff, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Until it's resolved that is, Hockey, (Obviously), Eventual Smut, Slurs Series: Part 1 of Kent Parson deserves nice things Summary: Kent has a pretty good life. It’s been a couple years since the Aces last won a cup, but he’s still at the height of his career. He has an apartment with a stunning view over Vegas, a best friend who’s always dragging him to basketball games, a cat to cuddle with, and more money than he could ever spend.

Everything is fine.

So it won’t be a problem at all if he strikes up a friendship with that guy he meets at the All-Star party.

Tomas enjoyed the years he spent in Minnesota, but he’s ready for a new life in a different city. It means he’ll be even further from his friends and family in Quebec, and he’s not sure he’s going to adapt well to the desert. But he’ll have his new job to distract him, and he’s never minded the challenge of developing a new circle of friends and acquaintances.

He doesn’t expect Kent Parson to be part of that.

Like Real People Do (153388 words) by xiaq Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kent "Parse" Parson/omc, Kent Parson/OMC, Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann Characters: Kent "Parse" Parson, Swoops (Check Please!), Eric Bittle, Jack Zimmermann, Alexei "Tater" Mashkov, OMC Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Alternate Universe - College/University, figure skating, Sharing a Bed, Friends to Lovers, Coming Out, Hockey, NCAA hockey, Disabled Character, service dog, Happy Ending, Fluff, Banter, I just want Kent Parson to be happy ok, Living Together, Domestic Fluff, NHL, Closeted Character, Angst with a Happy Ending, but only like 2 chapters of REAL angst, TBI, Injury, Injury Recovery, parsepositive, Hurt/Comfort, Humor, idiots to lovers Summary: Parson gestures with his spoon toward Hawke. “So am I allowed to ask about the service dog or is that not PC?”

“My medical history is more of a 3rd date conversation," Eli says.

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“Because. No one sticks around afterward and I like to live in glorious denial for a short period beforehand.”

It comes out more self-deprecating than he intended.

Parson looks…thoughtful. “Well, does this count as one or two?

“Pardon?”

“This. Ice cream. I mean, technically it’s a second location, but still the same night. So is this one date or two?”

“One,” Eli says firmly. “If it’s happening within the same three-hour period.”

“You’re the expert,” Parson says, which, he’s really, really, not, but ok.

“So still two dates to go then?” Parson continues.

“I—what?”

“We’ve got a roadie coming up but then we’re home for almost two weeks. When does your semester start?”

“You want to do this again?” Eli asks.

Parson stops idly twirling his spoon.

“You don’t?”

He does, Eli realizes. He really does. Because apparently he actually likes Kent fucking Parson.

Original Work

Superstition (16000 words) by Superstition_hockey Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: OC/OC Additional Tags: Hockey Gods, Bromance to Romance, Codependent Bros for Life, Accidental Marriage, Homophobia in sports, Homophobic Language, Sexist Language, Hockey typical violence, Unsafe Sex, Oral Sex, Frottage Series: Part 1 of Superstition Summary: He thinks about the times he’s heard his dad, his aunts and uncles, cousins, sports casters on the news joking about the hockey gods, wonders if they’re real. Maybe they are. Maybe if he works hard enough, gives them enough sweat and blood and time…

Mulan

primped and polished till you glow with pride (11363 words) by VagabondDawn Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Fa Mulan/Li Shang Characters: Fa Mulan (Disney), Li Shang, Fa Zhou Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage Series: Part 1 of primped and polished Summary: Fa Zhou gets offered an advisory position in the Imperial City instead of riding to war and Fa Mulan finds her second attempt at Matchmaking goes better than the first.

Chronicles of Narnia

No Ordinary Letter (5680 words) by Transposable_Element Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Aravis, Kidrash Tarkaan, Peridan (Narnia), Shar (Narnia OMC), Shasta | Cor Additional Tags: Calormen, Family, Cultural Differences Series: Part 1 of Love and Honor Summary: Aravis begins the process of reconciling with her father.

Silmarillion/Lord of the Rings

And What Happened After (73740 words) by thearrogantemu Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bilbo Baggins & Frodo Baggins, Bilbo Baggins & Manwë Súlimo, Frodo Baggins & Fëanor, Samwise Gamgee & Maglor, Frodo Baggins & Sam Gamgee Characters: Bilbo Baggins, Frodo Baggins, Gandalf, Elrond, Mandos | Námo, Manwë, Fëanor, Sam Gamgee, Sons of Fëanor, Maglor, Nerdanel, Celebrimbor Additional Tags: Valinor, Fourth Age, after the end, Gandalf and his strategic hobbit deployment, Third Theme, There and Back Again Again, Very Long Conversations, Backpacking in the Blessed Realm, Long-Overdue Punches, Westron as a Second Language, Sassing cosmic superbeings, Life-Changing Road Trip with Feanor, Kierkegaardian Existentialism, Reconciliation, Halls of Mandos, Potato Diplomacy, Everyone Telling Stories, Arda Remade Series: Part 5 of The Splintered Light Summary: “My dear Mr. Baggins, you cannot possibly imagine I have brought you across the boundaries of the sundered world, bending every law of gods and men, over land and over sea and through the fathomless heights, for your health? Well, I did, of course I did, and I’d do it again. But it was not for your own good only that I brought you here. I have been on this world a very long time, Mr. Baggins, and if there is one thing that I have learned about the Wise and the Great, it’s that they benefit from the company of hobbits, and it’s the wisest and greatest who have most need of them.”

Star Trek

A Better World (17671 words) by weakinteraction Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Benjamin Maxwell/Alynna Nechayev Characters: Alynna Nechayev, Benjamin Maxwell, Edward Jellico, Ro Laren, Odo (Star Trek) Additional Tags: guest appearances from various other 24th-century Trek characters, Time Travel Fix-It Summary: Alynna Nechayev does not give up easily, in any timeline.

Laid Bare (37013 words) by sixbeforelunch Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: William Riker & Deanna Troi, Taurik/Original Female Character(s) Characters: Deanna Troi, William Riker, Beverly Crusher, Taurik (Star Trek), Original *Characters Additional Tags: Psychology, Mental Health Issues, Eating Disorders, Domestic Violence, Anxiety Attacks, Aliens, First Contact, child endangerment, Pregnancy, Telepathy, Vulcan Culture Summary: Deanna Troi unravels a psychological mystery.

Lewis (TV)

A Place I May Go Both In and Out Of (49458 words) by kvikindi Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: James Hathaway & Robert Lewis, James Hathaway & Nell Hathaway, Robert Lewis & Nell Hathaway, Laura Hobson/Robert Lewis Characters: James Hathaway, Robert Lewis, Laura Hobson, Nell Hathaway, Lizzie Maddox, Lyn Lewis, Lyn Lewis's Son, Hathaway's Band Additional Tags: Catholicism, Found Families, discussion of suicide, Allusions to abuse, Giftedness, Gun Violence, Physical Trauma, Recovery, Urban Foxes, Post-Canon, Dysfunctional Family, Happy Ending, Christmas Summary: Lewis thought it was amazing, in retrospect, that no one had ever shot Hathaway before.

Big Hero 6/The Martian

Big Hero Martian (42621 words) by althor42 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Hiro Hamada, Baymax (Marvel), Cass Hamada, Mark Watney, Annie Montrose, Gogo Tomago, Wasabi-No Ginger, Fred | Fredzilla, Melissa Lewis (The Martian), Alex Vogel, Chris Beck, Beth Johanssen, Rick Martinez (The Martian), Teddy Sanders Additional Tags: hiro goes on a rescue mission, so it's on mars, small details, just build a ship, nbd Summary: There would have been no rescue for Mark, if NASA had not noticed he was still alive. Unless of course, a certain Big Hero noticed instead.

Temeraire/Pride and Prejudice

A Monstrous Regiment (94904 words) by AMarguerite Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Characters: Elizabeth Bennet, Colonel Fitzwilliam (Pride and Prejudice), Arthur Wellesley 1st Duke of Wellington, Jane Roland, Jane Fairfax, Frederick Wentworth, Fitzwilliam Darcy, George Wickham, Georgiana Darcy, Charlotte Lucas, William Price, Excidium, Gherni, Arkady (Temeraire), Perscitia, Captain Harville (Persuasion) Additional Tags: badass Elizabeth Bennet, Napoleonic Wars, Dragon Riders, Regency, Battle, War, Feminist Themes, Colonel Fitzwilliam has some period-appropriate Opinions that get overturned, so be forewarned, he's a good dude though, he learns, Age of Sail, alternate title: Charlotte's Great Escape Series: Part 1 of A Monstrous Regiment Summary: General Wellington selects Colonel Fitzwilliam for a very singular honor during the Spanish Campaign: working with dragons-- and, in particular, with Captain Elizabeth Bennet, of His Majesty's Dragon, the Longwing Wollstonecraft.

Temeraire/ Pride and Prejudice crossover entirely to have Elizabeth Bennet as a dragon captain during the Peninsular War, with Charlotte Lucas as her uber-capable first lieutenant.

Pride and Prejudice

An Ever-Fixed Mark (190537 words) by AMarguerite Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Elizabeth Bennet/Fitzwilliam Darcy, Elizabeth Bennet/Colonel Fitzwilliam, Jane Bennet/Charles Bingley Characters: Elizabeth Bennet, Fitzwilliam Darcy, Colonel Fitzwilliam (Pride and Prejudice), Georgiana Darcy, Catherine de Bourgh, Anne de Bourgh, Charlotte Lucas, William Collins (Pride and Prejudice), Maria Lucas, Jane Bennet, Charles Bingley, Mr. Bennet, Mrs. Bennet, Lydia Bennet, Kitty Bennet, George Wickham, Duke of Wellington, Mary Crawford, Mary Bennet, Caroline Bingley, William Elliot (Persuasion), Colonel Brandon (Sense and Sensibility), Marianne Dashwood, Eliza (Sense and Sensibility), Henry Tilney, Catherine Morland, Frederick Wentworth, Anne Elliot, Elizabeth Elliot, Arthur Wellesley Additional Tags: Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Comedy, Deconstruction, Napoleonic Wars, Regency, Regency Romance, Pining, badass Elizabeth Bennet, Miscarriage, 19th Century Medicine, Battle Of Waterloo, battlefield descriptions, Mention of Surgery, medicine sure was fun before germ theory, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Sexism, Elizabeth Bennet/ Mud, is the true OTP, Feminist Themes, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Grief/Mourning, Slow Burn, Reaaaally slow burn, Burn so slow it takes like six chapters to defrost first, Biphobia Series: Part 1 of An Ever-Fixed Mark Summary: One would think that having the name of one's soulmate appear on one's wrist on one's sixteenth birthday would make matrimony much less complicated. It mostly does not. And not at all for Miss Elizabeth Bennet of Longbourne.

(A deconstruction of the "soulmate identifying mark" trope, using "Pride and Prejudice." Trigger warnings in the tags.)

Teen Wolf

Wolf Moon (93757 words) by pocketmumbles Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Derek Hale/Scott McCall Characters: Scott McCall, Derek Hale Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Minor Character Death, Fix-It Series: Part 1 of Wolf Moon 'verse Summary: On the night of 2013’s Wolf Moon, eighteen-year-old Scott McCall travels back in time to change Derek’s past and, hopefully, their future.

The morning after 2003’s Wolf Moon, fifteen-year-old Derek Hale wakes up after meeting a teen wolf named Scott. And then the story really begins.

(Or, the time travel story that isn’t about the time travel at all, but rather a complete rewriting of canon spanning fifteen years and every character along the way. Canon divergent/AU after Season 3B.)

Harry Potter

Swung by Serafim (352345 words) by flamethrower Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Relationships: Arthur Weasley/Molly Weasley, Andromeda Black Tonks/Ted Tonks, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter Characters: Harry Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, Dobby, Kreacher (Harry Potter), Minerva McGonagall, Filius Flitwick, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Molly Weasley, Arthur Weasley, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Bill Weasley, Nymphadora Tonks, Neville Longbottom, Ginny Weasley, Fleur Delacour, Percy Weasley, Viktor Krum, Luna Lovegood, Rubeus Hagrid, Pomona Sprout, Lily Evans Potter, James Potter, OFC, OMC Additional Tags: I am not listing the entire cast of the HP universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Chamber of Secrets, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape Friendship, there is a tag for it yay!, also not listing relationships, Too confusing, Discussion of Past Child Abuse, The World Is Not Black And White, GFY, Don't copy to another site, seriously if those two actually were together at the end of this fic it would be in the tags okay?, and I don't tag the other relationships because they're spoilers, but before I get yelled at AGAIN, this isn't Snarry fic okay?, it has potential to become that if you squint, but I am not tagging for a romantic relationship that isn't there! Series: Part 1 of Swung by Serafim Summary: In 1993, Gilderoy Lockhart points a stolen wand at Harry Potter and Ron Weasley with the intent to Obliviate them.

The wand doesn't backfire. Gilderoy's "discovery" of the Chamber of Secrets is a short-term success.

Other consequences are not short-term at all.

Blood Magic (334522 words) by GatewayGirl Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hermione Granger/Harry Potter, Remus Lupin/Severus Snape, Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape Characters: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Remus Lupin, Ron Weasley Additional Tags: Severitus, Dark Arts, Secrets Series: Part 1 of Blood Summary: Blood magic was supposed to keep Harry safe, but his relatives are expendable. Blood magic was supposed to keep Harry looking like his adoptive father, but it's wearing off. Blood is a bond, but so is the memory of hate -- or love.

pick it up, pick it all up and start again (69328 words) by Annerb Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley Characters: Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Bill Weasley, Fleur Delacour, Percy Weasley, Original Male Character(s), Original Female Character(s), Molly Weasley, Arthur Weasley, Charlie Weasley, George Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, Hannah Abbott Additional Tags: mostly canon ships, Sequel, Angst, Recovery, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Drama, Slytherin Ginny Weasley, Post-War, Canon Era, Not Epilogue Compliant, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD Series: Part 1 of Armistice Series Summary: The thing about war is that it never ends. Not really. The battlefields just change locations. Harry and Ginny after the war. (Sequel to The Changeling)

Valdemar

Enemy, It's Cold Outside (5121 words) by MueraRashaye Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Original Male Herald, Original Male Sunpriest Additional Tags: Friendship across borders, Canon Compliant, War with Ancar, Tasteless jokes about Fires, Some timeline shifting Series: Part 1 of Friends Across Borders Summary: Inns in Hardorn border towns are neutral grounds, so long as the Sunsguard don't see the Herald and the Valdemarans don't see the priests. Usually this works fine, but one evening found Valdemarans with a Herald and Sunsguard with a priest at the same inn. Two groups of guards signal their outliers, and their outliers reluctantly retreat to the stables for a frigid night.

Turns out, it's too cold to kill ancient enemies. Much easier to swap drinks and tales under a night-long truce, figuring nothing will change in the morning.

And it doesn't. Not yet. But, it just might.

The Goblin Emperor

A Complete Education (57380 words) by bomberqueen17 Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Csethiro Ceredin/Maia Drazhar Characters: Csethiro Ceredin, Maia Drazhar, Cala Athmaza, Kiru Athmaza, Deret Beshelar, Telimezh (The Goblin Emperor) Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Canon Continuation, Sexual Education, Household Politics, The Emperor's Dav, Past Abuse, Misunderstandings, the fantasy of a world where everybody has good intentions Series: Part 1 of Continuing Education Summary: Preparing for the Emperor's wedding, everyone has some things they need to learn about.

#fanfiction #fanfic #fic rec

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