#a man of the sublime that encompasses humans
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til, via Deleuze, that John Ruskin burned hundreds of watercolour sketches and drawings by Turner because they were pornographic in his eyes. And he maintained he was proud of it. What an awful crime. Deleuze is a bigger person than me and asks us not to judge Ruskin. But. The arrogance is unforgivable.
#too tired to look up the quote in english or the name of the deleuze book rn#but. i was so furious#this is such a great loss bc. turner almost never worked with human figures. he’s a landscape man#a man of the sublime that encompasses humans#so it would be interesting to see how he worked with the human figure and how he erotized it#and i am perpetually fascinated by what artists make public and what they leave to scribbles in notebooks etc.#it tell us a lot about the period#smh. ruskin. I don’t believe in cancelling ppl but i am very very mad at#the violence of prudery
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See the thing about fundamentalists and trads and Christian nationalists and MAGA evangelicals and ethnocratic bigots is that they render the faith so boring.
I take no issue with the fact that they would look at me and say that I’m not a member of the faithful because their faith is radically, inherently, ontologically distinct from mine. My God is too big and too loving and too esoteric to fit neatly into the gendered understanding of an authoritarian white father disciplining his children for not perfectly falling into lockstep. My Savior is the man who told the religious leaders “Caesar can have his idolatrous blood money, but give God your heart and your faith,” challenging the notion of an earthly ruler. My apostles wrote of the throne of man being empty—there are no masters or kings or governments, there is only Jesus Christ, Basileus Basileōn, king of kings. I believe in radical oneness with God through Christ—one flesh and one body, biblical marriage with the bridegroom whose flesh and blood make up the holy Eucharist. My faith is Queer, ancestral, esoteric, anarchist, insurrectionary, anticolonial, antiracist, unorthodox, disruptive, free. When I encounter the divine, or pray to the saints, or sit in the chapel to pray, I am experiencing communion with the sublime, in every sense of the word, the same presence that made the apostles fall to their faces before the transfiguration, that shaped the world from void, that animates the deep care and rage which boil into every aspect of my being.
When conservatives tell me I am not a Christian it is only because they cannot conceive of a Christ and a faith so big, so all encompassing, so beyond anything our human minds can comprehend, and they cannot conceive being in tune with this divinity and being left senseless by the knowledge that the divine above all else is us and loves us more than we could ever comprehend, such that experiencing this love is enough to leave one fundamentally, ontologically changed down to the fiber of their being. I feel sorrow for them. I pray that Christ may reach into their hearts and open their eyes, that they may see not only the horrors that they commit but also the deep love and freedom that awaits them through abandoning their fundamentalism and their bigotry.
Or, in other words, me every time I see another conservative Christian whining about how people aren’t doing Christianity right because they don’t adhere to a super narrow and watered down version of the faith:
#catholicism#catholic saints#catholic#mary mother of god#mary mother of jesus#virgin mary#folk catholicism#folk practitioner#jesus christ#esoteric#queer christian#queer catholic#queer anarchism#catholic anarchism#liberation theology
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Congrats on 2.7k followers!! You deserve it! :D For the event, may I request Malleus, Azul, Jade and Floyd with a gentle giant S/O? As you can already guess, S/O is super tall (you can change this detail if you’d like, but perhaps they’d even be noticeably taller than Malleus?) and maybe even kind of intimidating because of it, but they’re very friendly, quiet, and gentle.
Again, congratulations on your achievements!! Keep up the great work you’re doing 🥳
‧₊˚✧ My Statuesque Sweetheart ‧₊˚✧
↳ Tall Gentle Giant/Reader
feat: Malleus ❋ Azul ❋ Jade ❋ Floyd genre: fluff note: no pronouns were used with the reader, I love beluga whales (it’ll make sense in Jade’s ver.),
Sooo…being someone that can’t relate to being tall :I, I went around to ask some of my taller friends to know what’s that like, so this took longer cuz of research. I also got into Genshin to prep for another prompt someone asked me and dang, do I gotta research on that too.
Similar prompt: Tall!reader who loves hugs
2.7K Followers Writing Event 2023
You were certainly a surprise to him. In his long years, rarely does he find people where he doesn’t have to tilt his head down for once.
Despite your height, you were as cute and friendly as a woodland creature, a contrast to Malleus who exudes regal power without much effort. He’s fascinated by you as your stature can command the room yet your energy has a rather soothing effect on him and those around you.
Man is saying you have zero scary dog energy, and that is adorable to him.
If you’re the affectionate type, congratulations! You’d be one of the few to be able (and allowed) to reach his horns. What started as curiosity soon became a habit as you made it your love language to care and clean Malleus’ iconic features. As a bonus, everytime you are done it’s fun to lay your head gently upon Malleus’, between his horns which catches him off guard no matter how often it happens.
Having a tall man with money certainly has privileges as you now have access to his personal tailor as well. Was there a pair of pants you really like but it only reached your ankles? Not anymore, let the royal tailor deal with that and add some matching accessories to that.
However you feel about your height, you are a sublime creature of beauty to Malleus. When he looks up to you smiling at him with the shining moon behind you highlighting your tall outline, he hasn’t seen anyone more otherworldly than you.
You stand out amongst every human I have encountered. Hm? Ah, I do not refer to your stature but rather… the way you effortlessly capture my attention and ensnare my thoughts with visions of you.
Azul being around an incredibly tall person? What else is new? Azul doesn’t feel all that insecure about his height, before or after meeting you.
Well, you’re definitely the most pleasant person he knows that towers over him, at least. He knows that many, him included, would use your sort of stature as an advantage over others. Instead, he likes your rather sweet nature and way of conduct.
If you have stretch marks due to your rapid growth spurts, Azul would feel absolutely touched if you trusted him enough to show it. Azul would genuinely praise your resilience to may have been an aching and painful experience to go through. If you let him, he could create a potion to get rid of the marks if it truly makes you insecure, but he finds you beautiful no matter what.
Watch him flinch and get flustered anytime you wrap your arms around him, smothering him with your taller form. You would laugh to see him so easily out of sorts if you press your weight onto him. He can handle it of course, but the heat of your all-encompassing hugs is vastly different from his time in the cold sea.
Azul would provide certain things that would suit your needs that others may overlook. Suddenly, you would find blankets that can cover you entirely, or you were gifted a coat that is actually a long coat that doesn’t awkwardly cut off at a weird length on you. Mirrors in Azul’s private room are always suspiciously up to your eye-level whenever you visit.
He’s happy to know that you see him as someone reliable regardless of that. He has an interesting way of showing his appreciation
Do you like the new decor of the Mostro Lounge? The new additions are quite beautiful and eye-catching. The tall but dazzling designs were inspired by you, after all.
Oh my. What a sight to behold, you are.
Jade doesn’t seem like the type to brag about his advantageous height, but he is aware that not many can reach his stature and even fewer actually pass him in that regard.
He still treats you as courteously as he always does, even more so as the two of you start to grow closer.
A nice bonus about having a tall boyfriend is that most of the things in his room are perfect for you! Beds you can fully stretch out in, actual full-length mirrors that don’t make you bend down, and furniture that doesn’t require you to squish yourself into. Jade’s (and Floyd’s) has become one of your favorite places to visit.
He does find it amusing that some people may find you intimidating because of your height as he knows that you were far from any definition of that word. Jade would chuckle to himself whenever he sees you getting happy or excited, like watching a playful beluga whale squeaking in joy. Your gentle features and bright smile shines through any misconceptions of your intimidating form.
Though not quite used to it, Jade doesn’t mind having to crane his neck to meet your gaze. Especially not when he could watch your adorable quizzical expression as he asked you to lower your head to him, only to whisper teasing words into your ear. He especially finds it fun to watch you jump to your full height in flustered surprise, even occasionally bumping your head on a hanging decoration.
Really, how could he resist you?
Do you need rest, my love? Perhaps a cup of tea can soothe your aches and joints while you sit.
Oh, Floyd would have no issues with you being taller than him. Probably the opposite, really.
Don’t @ me but I fully believe Floyd has a thing for legs, be it his own or others. He’s so fascinated by these human features that you may even catch him blatantly staring appreciatively at your legs.
“What’s the big deal? They’re right there, who can blame me?”
He will however, with full confidence, laugh his lungs out if you hit your head on the door frame or trip on an ottoman seat you didn’t notice. Maybe he’ll rub the ouchie away but he’ll be laughing while he does.
Be prepared for impromptu fashion shows with custom made shoes to show off your gorgeous mile-long legs. Floyd could spend hours looking through online shopping with you, showing you websites that specifically cater to tall drinks of water like yourself.
This man will be floored by the experience of being the little spoon of a hug. To be able to lean into your arms and rest his head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat while you lovingly pat his hair? You can be unknowingly smothering him and he’ll be loving every moment of it.
Regardless if you’re confident or not, Floyd loves to take you dancing. If you’re not confident in your dancing, Floyd is more than happy to lead you with every beat until you have fun. The man just loves to see the flashing lights paint your body, with your smile being the brightest of them all.
Did you get taller, Shrimpy? Aha ha, just pulling your leg there! Though, wouldn’t make a difference to me. You’re still a hottie even if you, hehe!
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twst imagines#twst scenarios#twisted wonderland imagines#azul ashengrotto#azul ashengrotto x reader#azul x reader#malleus draconia#malleus x reader#twst malleus#jade leech#twst jade x reader#jade x reader#floyd leech#twst floyd#floyd x reader#2.7k followers event
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How to Vampire
I know it’s a bit late, but I was at camp and didn’t have time to finish this before the date. I hope you enjoy this regardless. Vampire AU. Enjoy! @asobaroweek
The agony was unbearable. He writhed in agony, unable to pinpoint the source of the searing pain, and utterly clueless as to how it had come about. All he longed for was a respite, a chance to escape the all-encompassing torment. The anguish was unrelenting – throbbing in his limbs, throbbing in his skull, throbbing in his chest. It even seemed to inhabit his very being. Each breath was a struggle, his mouth and throat dry and on fire. He could not find release, and even the faintest attempt to scream was met with futility. Paralyzed and helpless, he was a prisoner in his own body.
His body was engulfed in flames of pain, leaving him questioning if anyone could aid him. With his eyes firmly shut, he remained oblivious to the world around him. The searing sensation ravaged his body, intensifying with each passing moment. His heart struggled to pump life into his fragile frame in the unsettling silence. However, this hope was short-lived, as the acidic torment threatened his existence. Despite his heart's desperate attempts to survive, it was unable to overcome the destructive force plaguing his body. The final beats echoed in his ears before succumbing to a deafening silence.
'Am I dead?'
Inhale. Exhale.
'I seem to be breathing, so at least I'm alive.'
Movement. The hand moved towards the chest, with fingers wiggling before finally clutching onto the soft cotton fabric.
'Blanket. I must be in bed.'
With a gentle hand, the blanket was moved aside to reveal the bare chest, devoid of any warmth or signs of life. Continuing upwards, the hand reached the neck to check for a pulse, but it was absent. However, a moment of silence was interrupted by...
'What's this? This mark. Did someone bite me!?'
As his eyes opened, he became aware of his surroundings. He lay on a plush bed, adorned with two large, pristine white pillows and a velvet blanket, embroidered with black thread that formed an intricate, sprawling tree with roots stretching towards the bottom. The room had a dim, cozy atmosphere with warm hues, exemplified by the light red curtains that adorned the windows. Despite the lack of light, he could still distinguish each object in the room, including the Mahogany dresser, mirror frame, bedside tables, bed frame and wardrobe, all radiating a sense of elegance. The carpet, a warm shade of orange-red, welcomed his feet with every step. The walls were decorated with floral wallpaper - a sophisticated blend of black and red hues over a soft white undercoat, adding to the room's luxurious charm.
As he stepped onto the velvety carpet, he made his way toward the window, curiously peeking out. The inky darkness enveloped the outdoors, save for the radiant moon, beaming down upon him with a serene smile. The picturesque garden lay before him, illuminated by a soft, pale light that accentuated its undulating flowers, verdant foliage, and towering trees. It was a sight of sublime beauty that left him spellbound.
'I must be inside the guest room of a very wealthy person,' he thought to himself.
Struggling to articulate, he rasped, "Did he-" before breaking into a fit of coughs. Clasping a hand over his mouth, he suddenly felt an unnerving sensation. Brushing his index finger over his teeth, he discovered two pointed canines that surpassed human sharpness. Panic etched across his face as he hesitantly murmured, "Am I-"
With a click, the door slowly opened and the young man swiveled around, alert and watchful. The soft gas lights illuminated the room in a blazing glow. Suddenly, the air crackled with an overarching aura of intimidation as a towering, older gentleman entered, exuding an air of authority. His eyes were a mesmerizing shade of icy blue and his swaying locks boasted a lustrous lavender hue. Dressed in a white button-up shirt tucked beneath a dazzling gold-trimmed blue waistcoat, he wore a striking ascot beneath his chin. Meanwhile, his off-white slacks flared out to his sizable boots, matching the indigo hue of his vest. Glistening at his hip, a sword glinted menacingly. The young man instinctively froze, his mind racing with a thousand unanswered questions. Was this the man responsible for bringing him here? And most pressing of all, did he...?
The man spoke in a reassuring tone, "There's no need to fear. How are you feeling?"
The young man struggled to ask who the man was but was overcome by a coughing fit, feeling strange and unable to speak.
“Forgive my discourtesy of not offering you a drink before speaking,” The man apologized and poured him a goblet filled with red wine-like liquid that had a unique fragrance. Without hesitation, the young man drank it all, thirstily.
“Who are you? Who am I? What am I?”
"My name is Barok van Zieks. You are now a vampire, transformed last night, and cannot remember anything before that," the man explained calmly.
Kazuma couldn't believe what he was hearing and looked in the mirror to find that his dark black hair had a choppy appearance, his dark brown eyes seemed lifeless, and his lips dripped red with the fluid the man just gave him.
"Is that blood?" Kazuma asked, wiping his tongue across his lips.
"Yes, human blood is essential to our survival. As you've just experienced, you can't survive or speak without it," Barok answered.
Kazuma met his gaze in the mirror as he processed this life-changing news. Despite not remembering anything from his human life, being a vampire didn't seem as terrifying. He asked, “Who made me like this?”
Barok replied, "It was me. You were on the brink of death, and I had to use my venom to save you."
Kazuma felt the bite mark where he had been bitten by Barok. He questioned, “why did you save me?”
Barok closed his eyes, gathering his thoughts, and replied, "I couldn't let you die. If I did, I would never forgive myself." Kazuma noticed a badge resembling a cross on Barok's chest.
In gratitude, Kazuma bowed to Barok and offered, “Then, I thank you for saving my life. If there is anything I can do to serve you...”
“I only ask you allow me to teach you about being a vampire. I expect your memories to eventually return in about a year. In the meantime, I intend on ensuring you know everything there is to know about being a vampire, hunting for food, surviving in the night and how to defend yourself from hunters.”
“Hunters?”
"Trained humans hunt and kill vampires, and I once faced one sent to kill me. There will likely be more to come."
“This Hunter, was he the reason I almost died that day?”
With a pained expression, Barok responded in a defeated tone, "You could say that." He turned his face away, unable to meet Kazuma's gaze. "Your friend was there too, desperately trying to save you from the fatal fall. Despite his valiant efforts, it was simply too late. No doubt, he's in the throes of unimaginable grief. It was he who implored me to save you... I would even say he begged."
“My friend?”
"Ryunosuke Naruhodo is not only your partner, but a dear friend. As a Vampire Hunter, he only targets those who pose a threat to humankind. Despite his efforts to prevent the Hunter from attacking me, the man's arrogance got the best of him and things escalated quickly."
“I see. He sounds like a very good friend. Where is he now?”
“Likely preparing for bed. It is past Midnight. Humans are not Nocturnal like us. He will be sleeping very soon.”
Kazuma's yearning to see his dear friend and partner grew stronger as he asked, "Can I see him please?"
“Of course,” Barok nodded. Kazuma hastily searched through the closet and found a Yukata to wear, wanting to dress more appropriately since he only had a pair of pants and no shirt. “Follow me.”
Kazuma trailed behind Barok as they made their way down the hallway, his eyes transfixed on the countless portraits adorning the walls. Vivid depictions of the tranquil beach, lush park and magnificent mansion caught his eye, but it was the portrait of Barok's parents that particularly piqued his interest. Despite his intrigue, Kazuma remained focused on following the older vampire, his footsteps echoing through the luxurious cavernous foyer. As he took in the exquisite decor, he couldn't help but wonder at the sheer magnitude of the estate. Had he ever seen anything quite so opulent before?
As they ascended the grand staircase to the first floor, Barok pointed out the location of the living room to Kazuma, directing his gaze to a sizable sofa where a young man was engrossed in a book while clad in a Yakuta. The moment he caught sight of the newcomer, the young man leaped to his feet and laid aside his book, hurrying over to greet Kazuma.
“You're awake! I feared you'd never open your eyes again?” The young man cried, filled with elation and tears welled up in his eyes.
“A-Are you... Ryunosuke?” Kazuma asked.
“Y-Yes,” Ryunosuke replied, brushing off the tears. “Lord van Zieks said you'd likely not remember me after the transformation. How do you feel?”
“... I don't know. Happy that I'm not dead, but mostly confused,” Kazuma replied, feeling misplaced. His hand reached to his throat. “My throat also feels scratchy.”
“Most likely from thirst. That bottle I gave you isn't going to be enough to fill you. You need blood, live human blood.”
“I-I see... where do I find one?”
“Erm....” Ryunosuke responded, his hand unconsciously rubbing the nape of his neck.
“You are looking at him right here,” Barok said, glancing at Ryunosuke.
“Him!? Ryunosuke!? You want me to drink HIS blood?” Kazuma asked, eyes dilating.
“It's alright. I told Lord van Zieks I'd be willing to let you feed from me when you first wake up,” Ryunosuke replied.
“O-Oh,” Kazuma said. Uncertain of his emotions, he pondered whether it was ethical to feed from his closest companion. Would he have consented to this arrangement in human form?
“Before understanding the art of hunting, it is essential to learn to feed. As vampires, human blood is our only means of sustenance and therefore, we must treat it with reverence. Feeding from a human without their explicit consent is strictly forbidden. Similarly, humans respect their food when they grow, hunt, or rear it in their farms. As a sign of respect, we never consume humans entirely and refrain from exhibiting gluttony. Instead, it is vital to nurture and care for our source of food. Ryunosuke serves as an excellent first source to learn this practice. If you can regard your prey with the same affection as your closest confidant, I trust that you shall always honor and cherish our source of nourishment.”
With a nod, Kazuma realized the truth in those words. Though he hadn't previously considered it, humans raise and care for livestock, such as chickens, goats and cattle, before consuming them. If humans could display such care and affection towards their food, why should vampires not hold themselves to the same standard when consuming humans? Kazuma now saw the value in choosing his partner and best friend as his first source of nourishment.
"How exactly do I feed?" Kazuma queried.
"First, ensure that your prey is relaxed and comfortably fed. You can discern this by checking the shape of their body. As an example, Mr. Naruhodo consumed a satisfying dinner a mere few hours ago," Barok advised.
"I must say, it was quite delicious. Thank you," Ryunosuke chimed in, grinning. Kazuma could sense the aroma of his friend's recent meal.
"You had beef, mashed potatoes, beans and broccoli," Kazuma said.
“You can sense what I've been eating?” Ryunosuke asked.
"Remember, our sense of smell is far more advanced than that of humans," Barok interjected.
"I see," Ryunosuke acknowledged.
"Kazuma, to locate your bite, rely on your sense of smell. It is essential to choose a spot at the back or side of the neck and refrain from biting near the front where the jugular can be found. Such a bite could damage the voice box, esophagus, and windpipe-- critical structures necessary for respiration and nourishment. It's crucial to remember that humans require breathing and sustenance to survive. Biting the carotid artery could prove fatal, resulting in the wastage of a valuable food source. Only consider biting that area when transforming a human into a vampire."
“Wait, you mean there's a particular way you bite when you feed?” Ryunosuke asked, his eyes broadening.
"Precisely. Drinking blood requires precision. Biting the artery is not recommended as it can become dangerous for both parties. Therefore, we aim for the Jugular Vein. It's crucial to make a small nick which will instantly allow blood to flow like a fountain into our mouths. Once sated, we use our tongue to seal the wound with saliva and stop the flow of blood."
“Alright, a small pierce of the vein located on the side or back of the neck, then close the holes with a swipe of my tongue,” Kazuma said with intent in his countenance. He faced Ryunosuke. “Are you ready?”
“Ready as I ever could be,” Ryunosuke reassured Kazuma, who inhaled deeply, honing his sense of smell to locate a stronger and richer flow of blood.
One thing Kazuma came to learn was that he couldn't just smell through his nose, he could feel blood flow through his teeth. There were two types of blood flowing from Ryunosuke's side of the neck. One felt stronger and richer, while the other one felt slow and poor. He bit the flow of blood that was stronger and richer, trying to be careful to not bite too hard.
Ryunosuke winced in agony, his grip tightening on Kazuma's arms as warmth flooded Kazuma's mouth in a delicious rush. The flavor was unparalleled, surpassing even the red liquid Barok had given him when he first awakened. As the liquid flowed down his throat, it soothed the scratchiness and calmed him, the sensation reminiscent of a baby nursing at its mother's breast. Kazuma felt the pulse from Ryunosuke's neck and the steady beat of his heart, both sensations oddly familiar to him. Perhaps it was a remnant of the agony he experienced during his transformation or the nearly deadly fall that nearly killed him as a human.
Kazuma's stomach eventually filled as he attempted to remove his mouth from Ryunosuke's neck, only to remember the holes still pouring blood into his mouth. He hastily licked the wounds before they sealed immediately, allowing him to safely remove his mouth and wipe the excess blood away.
“It seems you forgot to cover the holes before pulling out your canines," Barok observed.
“My apologies. I had forgotten for a moment,” Kazuma replied.
"Make sure to cover the holes next time. This is your first feeding after all."
Ryunosuke stretched his arms and let out a loud yawn. "Surprisingly, it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would," he said. "It's unlike any other attack I've ever experienced."
"Perhaps the difference in experience was because those vampires had malicious intentions to attack and kill you, rather than simply feed from you," Barok explained.
“O-Oh... I suppose that's true, huh?” Ryunosuke's lips curved into a grin as he rubbed the back of his head.
Kazuma's inquisitive tone filled the silence as he asked, "So... you're a vampire hunter. Was I...?"
"As I recall, our paths intertwined at Yumei University and then you encouraged me to join you in vampire hunting. It's a legacy that runs deep in your family, Kazuma. You were one of the most accomplished and formidable vampire hunters in the land," Ryunosuke stated with a gleam in his eyes. Moving towards the sofa, he picked up a bow and quiver with silver arrowheads and continued, "I supported you as your partner and archer. I would attack from afar, while you wielded the Karuma, your cherished family sword, with fearless abandon."
"Karuma?" Kazuma inquired with a hint of recognition. Ryunosuke affirmed the name with a nod and reached for a sheathed sword that was cleverly concealed from Kazuma's sightline. As he handed the weapon to his companion, Kazuma took it gingerly, examining it with caution.
"Be careful with that. Remember, you're a vampire now, so the silver will hurt more than it used to," warned Barok.
Knowing Ryunosuke recently lost blood from Kazuma's feeding, Barok suggested, "You should eat before going to bed, to replenish your energy."
"I hadn't thought of that. Thanks for the tip," Ryunosuke acknowledged with a grin, before turning to Kazuma and giving him a pat on the shoulder. "Good to have you back, partner."
With his fingers wrapped around the hilt of Karuma, Kazuma was awash with a warm and buoyant sensation. The sword felt like an extension of his very being, a tool to aid his transformation from seasoned vampire hunter to newly-made vampire. Kazuma knew that if he was to have any chance of survival in this strange new world, he would need to learn how to be a vampire. The very notion of it filled him with a curious mix of apprehension and excitement. As he weighed the possibilities of ever returning to his old life as a Vampire Hunter, Kazuma realized he needed to master the art of being a vampire first, assuming he even could.
Over the next few weeks, Kazuma devoted himself entirely to training under the tutelage of Barok to improve his vampire abilities. He quickly learned that sustaining oneself on human blood alone was necessary for survival, but certainly not the only solution. He understood that like any other living being, vampires needed a diverse set of nutrients in their diet to remain healthy and energized. Similar to how varied food options are critical for animal survival, this concept applied to vampires too. While human blood was incredibly rich in essential nutrients such as iron, Vitamins A, E, B, folic acid, and carotene, animal blood was equally valuable for its distinct vitamin content, such as the inclusion of Vitamin C, Vitamin D, sodium, potassium, and cholesterol. Kazuma learned how certain human lifestyles contributed to the quality and composition of their blood, and thus, how some human donors could offer more of certain types of nutrients than others. For instance, individuals who remained indoors and didn't exercise regularly would not possess as much cholesterol as the blood of creatures such as owls or fish. Kazuma was also aware of the adverse effects of consuming blood from addicts, specifically nicotine-contaminated blood from smokers. The addiction from human smokers could easily transfer to a vampire if they drank their blood. This was the same case with individuals who drank excessively; if a vampire drank blood from a drunkard, they would experience the effects of intoxication too. The danger of getting addicted to human blood was one of the reasons why many considered vampires to be monstrous creatures. Tragically, Dracula, a historical vampire, had not been aware of the risks when he consumed the blood of Englishmen who smoked pipes. “What about garlic? Crosses?” Kazuma asked. "Raw garlic and many fruits and vegetables are acidic, which can be harmful to us as silver is. Therefore, caution must be exercised. Although silver is commonly found in crosses, our kind can handle crosses made of different materials such as wood, gold, and even rock. Interestingly, many vampires are Christian, debunking the myth that vampires are inherently evil and spawned from the devil. In reality, vampires have coexisted with all forms of life since time immemorial," Barok replied, while he and Kazuma were collecting mushrooms for Ryunosuke in the woods. Kazuma inquired, keen to learn more about their unique weaknesses, "What makes silver and certain acids in fruits and vegetables harmful to us?" "Pure silver can be harmful to our bodies as we are more sensitive to silver nitrate contained within it. When used on living skin, it exhibits healing properties, but on dead skin, it can be fatal." “Is it the same with acidic juices?” “Yes.” Kazuma's eyes traced the constellations above and he couldn't help but marvel at the ethereal beauty of the stars and crescent moon. Bathing in the celestial glow, he was struck by how the moonlight reflected off his vampiric skin, illuminating it with a silver sheen. Overwhelmed by the moment, he gathered his courage and posed the burning question. "Is it impossible for us to survive in sunlight?" "Not impossible, but we burn much quicker than humans do. This is why we are accustomed to being active at night. Our bodies simply cannot handle prolonged exposure to daylight." Barok explained, meeting Kazuma's inquisitive stare. "But if we aren't any different from humans, then why do they persist in hunting our kind?" After plucking some mushrooms, Barok took a momentary pause, looking up at the tree. Then he answered, "Humans fear what they cannot comprehend, and since we feed on them, this fear is natural. It is no different from other creatures in this world. How many animals attack humans out of fear of being attacked themselves? It is instinctive, just like wolves hunt in packs for food and to defend themselves." "Animals are not capable of speaking our language and similarly, we do not understand theirs. Fear is natural, but as humans, we speak the same language. So, hasn't our kind tried to communicate with them?" “.... we have. My brother paid the price for it as did your fa-” Kazuma came to a halt and turned around to see Barok, who had his face covered. Upon closer inspection, Kazuma noticed that Barok's facial expression bore signs of deep misery and melancholy. He approached his master and tenderly placed his hand on Barok's, which was visibly shaking. As Barok gazed at the intertwined hands, he saw the pain in Kazuma's eyes too. Kazuma's voice broke as he spoke softly, "I beg for your forgiveness. It was never my intention to bring back these distressing memories." Barok shook his head, responding with resolute compassion, "Please don't blame yourself. You're yet to retrieve your lost memories and it may take another year." Kazuma observed the fragile hand of Barok held in his own with a deep sense of sadness. He closed his eyes and attempted to remember something, anything from his past. But all was in vain. However, one thing he was certain of was that Barok was about to reveal something important. Kazuma was aware that he belonged to a vampire hunting family and his father was one of the finest vampire hunters. Sadly, his father's attempt to reconcile with the vampire community had tragic consequences, and Kazuma could feel the agony of his father's loss. Barok spoke in a low voice, "I shouldn't have said anything." Kazuma opened his eyes with teardrops streaming down his face. He asked in a trembling voice, "You were going to mention my father, right?" Overwhelmed with emotion, Kazuma broke down, "I've no memory of him, yet the thought of him being lost hurts me." Barok held Kazuma with both his hands affectionately and said, "I understand your pain." He continued, "I feel responsible for not protecting you from this distress." "But, I owe you my life." With a sudden change in tone, Barok exploded, "At what cost!?" Quickly, he composed himself and added apologetically, "Forgive me." Kazuma clung to Barok and asked, "Do you regret saving my life?" Barok vehemently denied, "Never. I only wish I could have done more to spare you this misfortune." He paused and added with hope, "Perhaps, everything will make sense when you regain your memories." Kazuma's heart swelled with warmth as he gazed at the stars and the moon. He felt a strong connection to Barok and never wanted to leave his side. Kazuma longed to uncover the secrets of his life, including the identity of his father and Barok's role in his past. Although he had never felt anything for Barok before, he now felt a strange, comforting warmth. Kazuma imagined being held tenderly, with their lips meeting in a gentle kiss, but he didn't want to risk spoiling the moment. Upon returning to the manor, Kazuma retrieved a bottle of blood that Barok had stored in a wine bottle. Although drinking blood from the bottle didn't satiate his hunger in the same way as consuming it from live creatures or Ryunosuke did, it was a satisfying snack for him. As Ryunosuke yawned, Kazuma noticed that the sky was turning lighter, indicating that sunrise was approaching and it was time for him to sleep. Barok was already in bed, sound asleep. Ryunosuke rubbed his groggy eyes and greeted Kazuma. "Good morning, Kazuma." Kazuma replied, "Morning," taking another sip of the blood. "What did you and Lord van Zieks do last night?" Ryunosuke inquired. "We picked mushrooms and he taught me about how silver, certain fruits, and sunlight affect us," Kazuma answered. Ryunosuke acknowledged it with a soft smile, "That's good." After a moment's pause, Kazuma hesitantly confessed, "I think I may have developed feelings for Lord van Zieks." Curious, Ryunosuke asked, "Oh?" Kazuma was surprised by Ryunosuke's response, "Is... that strange?" Ryunosuke explained, "Not really. You've had feelings for him when you were human as well." Kazuma was bewildered by the revelation, "I... did?" He wondered about his relationship with Barok. "How long have I known Lord van Zieks before becoming a vampire?" Ryunosuke replied, "It's hard to say. Technically, it was only a few months to a year, but you have known about him much longer. Your father and his brother were very close." Kazuma pondered, "So, I developed feelings for him in the few months to a year I've known him." Ryunosuke clarified, "It's more of an attraction than anything. You never called it love." Kazuma probed further, "What did I call it?" Ryunosuke replied hesitantly, "A uh... attraction." Kazuma sensed that Ryunosuke was hiding something, and there was more to his answer than he let on. Kazuma was hesitant, "Should I tell him?" Ryunosuke replied, rubbing the back of his neck, "Ah um... I suppose it wouldn't hurt?" Kazuma's voice trembled slightly, "Would he reject me?" Ryunosuke responded, "Not... really. Lord van Zieks admires you very greatly. However, you... haven't recovered your memories so..." Kazuma interrupted, "So...?" Ryunosuke explained, "He might be under the impression that your feelings for him will vanish the moment your memories recover." Kazuma was confused, "But, you said that I had feelings for him before?" Ryunosuke admitted, "He doesn't know that and... many complicated things happened during the few months to a year we knew each other." Kazuma was curious, "What do you mean?" Ryunosuke fell silent, and a pained expression crossed his face, giving Kazuma the impression that something had happened between him and Barok prior to his transformation. It was as if there was an unspoken pain that hung heavy in the air. "Did... I hurt Lord van Zieks?" Kazuma asked, his voice trembling with fear.
"No, no, don't worry about that," Ryunosuke replied soothingly, trying to calm Kazuma down. "There were a lot of complicated factors involved in trying to solve your father's murder. You should try to get some rest now."
"I feel like you're avoiding the question," Kazuma said, his tone slightly accusatory.
"I'm not trying to avoid it, I just think that once your memories come back, everything will become clear," Ryunosuke said, trying to reassure Kazuma. However, Kazuma could sense some hesitation in Ryunosuke's tone, making him doubt his friend's words. With a sigh of fatigue, he trudged wearily towards his bed, suppressing a shudder at the thought of resting in a coffin, as some myths would suggest. The reality was somewhat more mundane - Kazuma's bedroom was located in the windowless basement of the manor, not a coffin in sight. He slipped beneath the sheets, his eyes growing heavy as he struggled to find sleep. Yet, despite his exhaustion, his mind was far from quiet; it wandered restlessly, plagued by the memories of a life before his transformation into a vampire. Moreover, Ryunosuke's claims about Kazuma's supposed attraction to Lord van Zieks only added to the confusion, leaving him bewildered and unable to make sense of his own emotions.
"Kazuma, are you okay?" Barok's voice jolted Kazuma out of his daze, and he found himself staring up at a worried Barok as he loomed over him, blocking out the sky.
Despite Kazuma's best efforts, he was unable to utter a sound. The agony was simply too great for him to bear. Gasping for air, he forced himself to take shallow breaths, while his heart beat erratically in his chest. Finally, overcome by the pain, he shut his eyes and prayed that he would survive.
Barok gripped Kazuma's limp form tightly, tears streaming down his face. “Don't you dare leave me, Kazuma! Please!” he begged, his voice choked with emotion.
The pain was excruciating - Kazuma tried to speak, but only succeeded in coughing up blood. He tried again, forcing the word past his lips. "B...," he gasped, before collapsing back into Barok's arms.
Kazuma gasped, coughing up blood, and then he felt a pair of cold lips pressed against his own. He couldn't believe what was happening - was Barok actually kissing him? The kiss was so intense that Kazuma felt his breath catch in his throat, his eyes closing involuntarily as his mind was consumed by the sensation of Barok's lips on his own. The kiss was so powerful that Kazuma felt himself slipping into unconsciousness, lost in the sweet oblivion of Barok's embrace.
“Forgive me... and my selfishness.”
Kazuma groaned as he opened his eyes, wincing at the slivers of light peeking through the boarded-up window. It was still daytime, but he was too tired to stay awake for long. As he drifted back to sleep, his mind was consumed by the dream he had just had. Were those memories from his human life, before Barok turned him? And if so, had that kiss actually happened? It had felt so vivid and lifelike...
As Kazuma woke up that night, he noticed Ryunosuke savoring his tea and pudding. Barok had already gotten up much earlier. Kazuma could see that it was dark outside, indicating it was close to Ryunosuke's bedtime. As he looked out the window, he pondered about his past life as a human and what his relationship with Barok might have been like.
“A penny for your thoughts?” Barok asked.
Kazuma looked toward Barok and inquired, "What was my human life like? And how did I factor into your life?"
Barok closed his eyes, being deep in thought. Kazuma felt anxious just seeing that, wondering why Barok would have to think about it before speaking. However, he did eventually speak.
"I suppose that question was going to come sooner or later. We've known each other for quite some time – perhaps some months to a year."
Kazuma revealed that Ryunosuke had relayed the same information to him earlier. When Barok turned to Ryunosuke, he explained,"I only told him that you both knew each other for a while and that you admire him greatly," which Barok acknowledged with a nod.
"How did we come to meet each other, and what led to us developing a close relationship?" Kazuma inquired, as he looked at Barok with interest.
Barok revealed his mixed feelings towards Kazuma's question and showed signs of sorrow. "Rather, I looked up to you, although I understood your hesitation towards forming a close relationship with me. Our paths crossed when you were on the hunt for me, bearing the belief that I was responsible for your father's death at the time. As a vampire hunter, I knew your kind would be suspicious of me, but it was further complicated by my own loss - I believed your father slew my brother."
"If I understand this correctly, you believed my father killed your brother, and I believed you killed my father?"
Barok's voice trembled as he confessed to Kazuma, "He was a vampire hunter and one I thought betrayed me." He closed his eyes, filled with regret for his actions.
Kazuma's question pierced the silence, "You said this happened at the time. Does that mean you never killed my father, my father never killed your brother and my father didn't betray you?"
Barok nodded solemnly and replied, "Correct. It was a foolish mistake on my part. We found the one responsible and then..." He trailed off, the memories still haunting him.
Kazuma's heart sank as he watched Barok's sorrowful expression and probed, "And then...?" Barok revealed the truth with a heavy heart in silence. Kazuma answered, "I fell, right? The vampire hunter that was trying to kill you that night, was it the one that killed my father?"
Barok continued with grief etched on his face, "And, my brother, whilst framing me for all of his crimes. You jumped into action to avenge your father and..."
Kazuma's anger flared with the realization, "Why my father!? I can understand your brother perhaps, but why my father? He was a fellow vampire hunter, right!?"
Barok couldn't give a satisfactory answer, "I don't know. When you questioned him, he simply never answered. I couldn't find answers from him either before your fall."
Kazuma's troubled expression deepened as he asked, "Where is this vampire hunter now?"
Barok replied with uncertainty, "There's no telling. He either assumes you've died or have transformed. It is why Ryunosuke is here at all."
Ryunosuke revealed his role, "I've been keeping guard of the manor whilst you both are asleep. The both of you are much weaker in daylight."
Kazuma's concern for their safety prompted him to inquire, "Have you noticed anyone or anything strange since my transformation?"
Ryunosuke replied with calmness, "Not so far. Though, it's likely that Stronghart could be biting his time or doesn't know where Lord van Zieks lives."
Kazuma learned more about their enemy, "Stronghart. That's his name?" Ryunosuke affirmed with a nod of his head.
Barok pledged to protect Kazuma, "No worries. If he ever comes here, I won't allow him to hurt you again."
Kazuma showcased his determination, "Teach me how to fight. Surely, there must be some part of me that still knows how. I wish to get stronger."
Barok reassured Kazuma, "I'm certain your skills in combat are just as impressive as before. Being stripped of your past memories from your transformation doesn't strip any skills you obtained whilst human. Regardless, I would love to pare swords with you."
Grateful, Kazuma bowed to Barok and expressed his gratitude, "Thank you!"
Kazuma honed his sword skills while adapting to his new life as a vampire. Despite the inherent difficulty, dueling with Barok was entertaining and pushed him to his limits. They utilized silver swords during their sparring sessions, which taught Kazuma how to wield them effectively as a vampire. Throughout his training, he rediscovered lost skills and uncovered his innate talent as a Vampire Hunter.
Barok lauded Kazuma's progress and said, "Impressive, Kazuma," which made him feel proud of himself.
After sheathing his sword, Kazuma inquired, "What kind of hunter was I? Aside from Ryunosuke, did I work with anyone?"
Barok revealed, "You once worked under Stronghart's apprentice, until we saw through the lies. He was a friend of your father's-- or at least, we thought he was."
Kazuma commented, "He sounds like a piece of work."
Barok hummed as Kazuma gazed up at the full moon, prompting him to question, “are werewolves and witches also real?”
“Funny you should ask of such,” Barok replied, amused.
Kazuma persisted, “Are they?”
Barok speculated, “I suppose it's possible, though I've never met one.”
Despite his condition, Kazuma smiled at the full moon and remarked, “I doubt I'd ever see a moon this beautiful if I was a werewolf.”
Barok mused, “That may depend on how you would define a werewolf. It's much like claiming vampires can never see the sunlight. Don't you think?”
Kazuma agreed, before confessing, “Would it offend you if I told you that I have feelings for you?” He moved closer to Barok, holding his arm.
Barok turned to Kazuma, who appeared fearful and shy, almost blushing like a human if it were possible. He smiled and reassured him, "Of course not." Barok embraced Kazuma, who hugged him back tightly. However, Barok suggested they wait until Kazuma regained all his human memories.
Kazuma revealed, "Ryunosuke said I had feelings for you even then," cutting Barok's interjection. Barok closed his eyes and seemed to frown slightly. Kazuma asked, "Sir?"
Barok apologized, "Forgive me for being lost in thought."
Curious, Kazuma inquired, "What were you thinking about?"
Barok hesitated but eventually divulged, "The last moment before changing you into this."
Kazuma's mind wandered back to his dream, where he had gazed at the dismal sky, rain pouring down on him, as he writhed in agony. The one thing that shone through all of that pain was the arrival of Barok who had come to his rescue and bestowed a gentle kiss upon his lips. But Kazuma was hesitant to ask whether the enchanted dream held any truth. He imagined how torturous it must have been for Barok, who, if Kazuma's feelings were reciprocated, would have suffered terribly and experienced intense fear. The mere thought of being in Barok's place filled Kazuma with dread.
Kazuma tenderly caressed Barok's face, his lips meeting his. The kiss was mutual, and Barok's hand roamed through Kazuma's silky hair before their lips parted. His fingers brushed over Kazuma's jawline, and he held his chin delicately. Kazuma yearned for another kiss, the desperation evident in his expression, but Barok shook his head.
Barok whispered, "I won't take advantage of you until you've regained all your memories, I love you too much to do that." His confession slipped out without realization as his eyes widened in surprise.
Kazuma asked, "How long have you loved me?"
Barok confessed, "For a while," holding Kazuma gently to his chest, who snuggled up as if he was lying on a comfortable pillow. He never wanted to leave this embrace.
As Kazuma slept, he pondered over Barok's words, "I won't take advantage of you until you've regained all your memories, I love you too much to do that." Although touched, he felt disheartened knowing he couldn't be with Barok at the moment. He placed his hand over his mouth, reminiscing the tingling sensation from their kiss, and cried himself to sleep before sinking into a peaceful slumber.
Gasping for breath, he felt a familiar pain on his neck as he clung onto the back of Barok's cloak. The realization dawned upon him that Barok was feeding on him in a way he knew too well. He wondered why he was the one chosen for this, and questioned if this was when he was transformed. But, he knew it wasn't possible since he was close to death at that time. As he struggled to breathe, he wondered if this was a memory he couldn't recall.
After Barok withdrew his fangs from Kazuma's neck, he licked the two small wounds and cleaned up the remaining blood that had dribbled around his neck.
"Have you had your fill, Barok?" Kazuma inquired kindly.
Barok nodded with gratitude. "Yes, thank you."
"Don't make it a habit of getting into trouble just to be fed," Kazuma warned. "Remember, our mission is to make Stronghart pay for everything."
Barok exhaled a heavy sigh and mused aloud. "You're still as stubborn as ever, Kazuma."
"To know one is to be one," Kazuma retorted with a smirk. He reached for a basket of fresh fruit on the table and gladly took a bite.
"But have you considered the danger you're putting yourself in by joining us against Stronghart? He won't hesitate to take your life," Barok warned, his tone growing gravely serious.
Kazuma shrugged indifferently. "So what? I'm not one to back down from a challenge. Besides, I know I can handle him."
"Don't be too sure," Barok cautioned. "Stronghart is much stronger than you think. Underestimating him could cost you your life."
"Of course, I'll train as hard as ever. You and Ryunouske will see my progress," Kazuma declared with determination.
Barok frowned and asked, "But what if you get hurt? Have you considered the consequences?"
Kazuma scoffed at the idea. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make that bastard pay. Nothing will stand in my way."
Barok turned his face away and Kazuma took notice. He probed, "Is everything alright? You seem uneasy."
Barok turned away in embarrassment and admitted softly, "I'm afraid of losing you, Kazuma."
Kazuma softened and assured him, "Don't worry, Barok. If anything happens, I'll leave it to you."
Barok turned his head to Kazuma's sudden outburst, prompting him to explain. "We both have suffered from losing someone dear to us because of Stronghart. I know you're just as determined to take him down as I am. If anything happens to me, I trust you to make sure he pays."
Barok responded with a hint of skepticism, "Such confidence you have in me."
Kazuma's resolve intensified as he banged his fist on the table, holding a banana in his hand. "I'm serious, Barok. If Stronghart ever managed to control me with his venom, I beg you to make sure I am not turned into his pawn. I would rather die than be used by him!"
Kazuma expressed his concern to Barok, "I don't want to become a puppet to Stronghart's venom. Can you promise to prevent that from happening?"
Barok hesitated before responding, "I promise to make sure you're not under his control."
Once more, Kazuma found himself sprawled across the muddy ground, raindrops pounding against his battered body. His aching neck sent shockwaves of agony pulsing through every fiber of his being. Struggling to grasp his surroundings, he found himself lost in a blur of confusion. Who was Stronghart? What did he look like? How had he found Kazuma, vulnerable and defenseless, lying on the cold, unforgiving earth?
But his train of thought shattered with a deafening crack when Kazuma was suddenly pinned against a rough-hewn boulder. Agonizingly, he felt his bones snap and shatter, screams of harsh, guttural pain tearing from his raw throat. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Kazuma struggled to get a visual of this merciless assailant. Was he staring into the abyss of Stronghart's ruthless eyes? Through the mist of excruciating pain and flashing redness assaulting his vision, Kazuma could only see a black, faceless shadow looming over him. His world turned to utter darkness as bone after bone was relentlessly shattered until, finally, he could no longer move. In a last burst of clarity, Kazuma pleads for the pain to go away. A distant chorus of voices lifted in the rain, echoing through his pain-addled mind.
“Kazuma!” Ryunosuke's voice pierced through the chaos.
“Don't you dare...” Barok's threats rang out, sending shivers down Kazuma's spine.
And then, amidst the tumultuous noise, Kazuma heard the sickening sound of flesh being rent apart by vampiric fangs. He knew, with a sense of mounting horror, that it was Stronghart who was attacking him. Unlike Barok's previous assault, he was aiming for a different location - the artery. Panic building in him with each passing moment, Kazuma could feel the last vestiges of his strength slipping away. It was a race against time to survive this onslaught.
“Barok!” Kazuma's anguished scream split the air as he felt the noxious venom of the vampire coursing through his veins. Tears streamed down his face as despair consumed him. This couldn't be happening, he thought frantically. He was on the verge of being transformed into Stronghart's loyal minion.
In a sudden movement, Stronghart lost his hold on Kazuma's body. In that fleeting moment, Kazuma caught sight of Barok, his eyes blazing with anger. However, before he could process the situation, he found himself tumbling towards the edge of a cliff. The ground below rushed up to meet him, and he was swallowed by darkness as he lost consciousness. Through the haze of the venom coursing through his veins, Kazuma fought to remain steadfast in his resolve. He couldn't allow himself to be turned into Stronghart's slave. He had to find a way to resist the transformation.
Kazuma remembered the night when Barok had kissed him.
“Forgive me... and my selfishness," Barok apologized before biting Kazuma in the same spot as Lord Stronghart, causing a new wave of venom to replace the old. Meanwhile, Kazuma's thoughts are clouded as he reflects on the situation.
'I trust and love Lord van Zieks. I wouldn't mind being under him.'
Kazuma didn't have to fight since he only had to wait for the venom to take effect. Despite the pain growing more severe and starting to affect his heart, he didn't care because he was willing to serve someone he believed in.
"I feel responsible for not protecting you from this distress."
"Do you regret saving my life?"
"Never. I only wish I could have done more to spare you this misfortune."
Kazuma woke up in tears, still emotional from the events that occurred. Barok had not only saved him from certain death but also from being turned into a vampire under Stronghart's control. Kazuma realized how dangerous the situation was and how risky Barok's actions were. Drinking the venom from Stronghart and replacing it with his own was no easy feat. A human would have died quickly if the blood was taken from an artery. There was a possibility that Barok could have killed him.
Barok knocked softly before entering the room and approaching Kazuma's bed. Without a word, he held Kazuma tightly, comforting him as he wept uncontrollably. The tears streamed down Kazuma's face, but Barok held him with utmost care and tenderness, as if he were holding something incredibly precious and fragile.
"I recalled the day you saved me," Kazuma confessed hoarsely.
"Your memories appear to be coming back, Kazuma," Barok said softly, gently holding his face. "It might be quite a lot to take in."
"It's not selfish of you to want to save my life," Kazuma said, his voice raw from sobbing.
"Selfish?" Barok looked confused.
"You wanted me to forgive you for being selfish for changing me," Kazuma explained.
"It wasn't that. I was selfish because I couldn't bear the thought of losing you, no matter what," Barok said, his voice full of emotion.
"Why?" Kazuma asked.
"You know why." Barok leaned in and kissed Kazuma deeply, his love for him evident in the passionate embrace.
"When I first met you, your only priority was avenging your father. But after that, something beautiful blossomed between us," Barok whispered, his breath warm on Kazuma's cheek and neck. "Despite being a vampire hunter, you always made sure to take care of me. It had been so long since I had felt someone genuinely care for me like that. And on top of it all, you were Lord Asogi's son - so strong and pure."
With Barok's lips near his ear, Kazuma confessed, "I felt so strongly about you when you drank from me." He grasped onto Barok's gown and rested his head on Barok's shoulder.
Barok asked, "Is that so?"
Kazuma hummed in response and questioned, "Will you make me wait before I can have you?"
Barok turned Kazuma's head to face him. Their eyes locked as their lips nearly touched. "I love you. I always have. Even though I may not remember all of our memories together, I know that I have and always will love you..want you," Kazuma confessed in a whisper and brushed his lips against Barok's with an ardent look in his eyes.
Their lips met in a passionate embrace, each kiss feeling as deep as the last, if not deeper. Barok's body quivered as Kazuma's lips locked onto his - he could never resist him, no matter what. The desire he had for Kazuma had been building up inside him for an indefinite amount of time, like an ache that just wouldn't go away. Before either of them realized it, they were lost in a passionate make-out session on the bed. Their limbs intertwined, hands grazing each other as they gave into their lustful desires with frenzied open-mouthed kisses.
Barok was breathless as he lay atop Kazuma, his hands moving in circles around his exquisite face as their foreheads touched. Kazuma smiled dreamily, tempting Barok to claim him as his own. With such a handsome face and captivating lips, it was easy to succumb to his allure. Even after all this time, Kazuma still remained as breathtakingly beautiful as ever.
"You have much to learn," Barok stated, as he planted a gentle kiss on Kazuma's lips. "There's still so much you need to remember about us."
Kazuma replied, "I hope to convince you to take me."
Barok considered it for a moment, and responded, "We'll see."
After Kazuma had calmed down, he resumed his training with Barok that same night. They would typically hunt in the forests outside London, which allowed them more freedom to hunt since there were fewer restrictions on their actions. Kazuma was advised by Barok to wear a cloak and mask during these excursions to avoid attracting Vampire Hunters.
Thankfully, Barok kept a close watch on Kazuma even from a distance, which allowed Kazuma to camouflage himself behind the leaves and trees during their hunting expeditions. Kazuma successfully spotted his prey from a distance- a lone deer with strong antlers. Kazuma then stealthily approached the deer, climbed a nearby tree, and landed on the deer's back, biting onto its neck. The deer ran at first, but eventually slowed down and rested.
Kazuma savored his dinner- the sweet taste of deer blood. He had only wanted something light and juicy, not the strong taste of human blood. As he drank from the deer, he petted it to keep it calm. The animal eventually relaxed to the point of lying down to rest. Once Kazuma finished his meal, he licked the wound shut and then kissed the deer on the head while petting it lovingly.
After finishing his meal, Kazuma heard a sound deep within the forest that wasn't coming from Barok. Using his heightened senses, he detected that the noise was coming from a far-off location where humans were present. Kazuma hid behind the deer and climbed up a nearby tree to remain concealed from the human's view. Only two humans were present, who appeared to be Vampire Hunters. Kazuma remembered Barok's advice of never trusting a Vampire Hunter without knowing them personally, so he remained hidden.
A young woman was the first to appear and noticed the deer. She had long blonde hair tied in a braid - pinned around her head and was wearing green slacks, a tailed coat, and a matching cap. The woman approached and inspected the deer, gently touching the animal.
"We's got one 'ere, and this buck's feelin' warm, innit?" the girl asked the fellow behind her, donned in a brown trenchcoat, his mustache twitching. From the looks of it, he was munching on some newspaper-wrapped fish and chips.
"Is it alive?" the man asked in return.
"'E's alive, right. Vampire's probably lurkin' 'round 'ere. I know I saw 'im."
"The vampire is probably just hunting for food. We don't know what we're dealing with, so stay alert," the man cautioned. Kazuma remained hidden behind the tree, searching for Barok, but couldn't find him. "Let's look for the devils. Don't let them drink from you."
"You got it, Boss!" the girl responded, giving her boss a salute before trotting horizontally out of Kazuma's sight.
Kazuma continued climbing the tree while the two Vampire Hunters searched around for him and Barok. Kazuma couldn't see Barok. He realized that it was because Barok was skilled at hiding. He wasn't confident that Barok was watching over his location. All Kazuma knew was that he had to avoid being seen by the Vampire Hunters.
"I'm gonna 'ave a butcher's at this side," the girl said, turning to the right as her boss glanced over at her.
"Oi, Gina, don't go gettin' yourself lost now. These vampires ain't to be messed with," warned the boss with a stern tone. Gina, however, seemed to shrug it off with a semi-careless attitude.
Gina's instincts led her closer to Kazuma's hiding spot. She appeared to be aimlessly wandering, but managed to get closer and eventually ended up under the tree where Kazuma was hiding.
"Let's 'ave a butcher's. The boss said these bleeders 'ide themselves in the trees," muttered Gina. She rubbed her chin and searched upwards with her lamp, hoping to catch a glimpse of any lurking vampires in the shadows of the branches.
With his cloak and mask on, Kazuma's hiding spot was revealed when the light from Gina's lamp shone on him. In a panicked response, Kazuma attacked Gina, covering her mouth and pinning her to a tree so she couldn't call for help. In the process, Gina dropped her lamp, which Kazuma caught as the light faded out. A struggle ensued, and Gina managed to kick Kazuma in the chest, causing him to fall backwards and lose his hood, revealing his hair.
"Oh, cor blimey," gasped Gina as Kazuma rose to his feet, causing her to back away in fear. She fumbled for her gun, loaded with silver bullets. "Easy now, you bloke! I'm warnin' ya," she said, her eyes widening in shock. "Kaz's a goner. There's no way you're 'im."
“Do you mean Kazuma?” Kazuma inquired, unsure if it could be true. He slowly removed his mask as the girl's hands trembled in anticipation.
"Shut it," Gina cried, her eyes brimming with tears. "It can't be true, it just can't," she wailed. Suddenly she scrunched her eyes tight. "This 'as to be one o' them vampire tricks!"
A strange feeling crept into Kazuma's throat, making him realize that he must have held an important place in this girl's life. "I've recently been transformed, and I'm afraid I don't remember you," he admitted. "My master told me it could take a year before it comes back to me. Have we met before?"
Hearing Kazuma's confession, Gina bowed her head and lowered her weapon. "Blimey, Kaz. Why'd you let it come to this? You know I wouldn't have... " she cursed. She covered her face, tears streaming down her cheeks as she let her gun drop to the grass. "Just get on with it."
"I'm alright," Kazuma replied, gesturing towards the deer. "That should keep him fed when he wakes up."
Gina hesitantly removed her hand from her eyes, shooting him a look of disbelief before glancing down at the ground. It was clear she was struggling with something. After a brief pause, she let out a heavy sigh and finally posed the question, "Alright, mate. Who's your Master?"
“Barok van Zieks.” "'Ere, the Reaper? And, you ain't gonna drink from me?" "I already ate. I'm just on the lookout for my master. I can't seem to locate him after drinking from the buck," Kazuma explained. Gina furrowed her brow and crossed her arms, appearing deep in thought. Breaking the silence, she asked inquisitively, "Wot 'appened? 'Ow did ya...?" "During the fight, Stronghart tried to change me. It was almost successful until my master drank his venom and inserted his own. He saved my life and now I owe him everything," explained Kazuma solemnly. "Cor blimey, Stronghart!? Ain't he the leader of the Vampire Hunters?" “That's correct! He's also a Vampire Hunter,” Kazuma realized, feeling foolish for not catching the inconsistency. “Does that imply that a vampire is heading the group of Vampire Hunters, either to eliminate other vampires or maintain control over them?” “Kaz... that...” Gina heard her boss call out to her from a distance. "Gina!" Gina gave Kazuma a steely look and said, "Oi, you sure you ain't spinning me a yarn? This ain't a load of codswallop, yeah?" “That's all I remember and... As a fellow Vampire Hunter, you must know that newly turned vampires don't remember their human memories for the first year," Kazuma reminded Gina, who was lost in thought as she rubbed her chin. "Yer reckon you're gonna be gettin' peckish again, do ya?" Gina inquired. "I'll be needing human blood soon, possibly by morning. Are you offering to provide some?" Gina's grip on the strap of her bag tightened as she confessed, "I need to know if everything I was told is a bleedin' lie. Suz said you were as good as brown bread. That's wot Lord Stronghart fed us." “Gina, where in blazes are you!?” Gina's boss sounded worried when he called out. “Meet me at the cliff where the Reaper calls-o'da shots," Gina urged, grabbing her lamp and scurrying to her boss. "I'm right 'ere, but it's like you're killing me with all this chatter!" "What were you doing? Your lamp isn't on." “Obviously. I was tryin' to switch it back on when you interrupted me with your call." "Okay, as long as you're fine. I apologize for being so concerned. I thought another Hunter went missing under my watch," Gina's Boss said in relief. "Yer right," Gina muttered, her eyes flickering with conflict. Her boss must've been pondering about Kazuma. "Those Vampire Hunters reckon Kazuma's flown the coop, eh?" She continued, "But anyhow, I didn't lay me eyes on no vampires." "I agree. They must have run away. We should head back home. Staying here won't change anything, especially since the deer is still alive.” “Yes, boss!” Gina and her boss vanished from the dense forest, breathing a sigh of relief. Meanwhile, Kazuma leaned back against a tree, feeling the ominous presence of Barok as he rested his forehead against the rough bark. “Where were you, Barok?” Kazuma inquired. “I was hiding and watching over you. Although I had considered intervening, it appeared that your friend was hesitant to harm you. She's a truly good friend,” Barok replied. “I believe so too. She brought up a name - Suz?” “Susato Mikotoba. It's probable that she assumes you and Ryunosuke are deceased.” “Stronghart is both a Vampire Hunter and a vampire. How is that possible?” Kazuma asked in amazement. “Similar to how you evolved from a Hunter to something more, he intentionally transformed himself to eliminate the vampires he despises. His abhorrence towards them has never waned since his transition.” Barok elucidated. “Gina wishes to meet me at that cliff to give me her blood.” “She's likely confused. The Vampire Hunters have fed her false information, which contradicts what she's seen. You didn't act on hunger or thirst. You merely took what you needed and spared the deer. It's possible that you shared with her some insights about your father's truths before disappearing.” Kazuma understood that Gina was torn between what she had been taught and what she had seen. He planned to meet with her at dawn near the cliff, where he had previously battled Stronghart and had almost become his victim. However, he was concerned that Gina might bring her superiors or even Stronghart himself. Nonetheless, Kazuma trusted Gina, as she didn't seem to have any intentions of betraying him based on her behaviour. Kazuma kept his promise and waited near the cliff the next morning, feeling the urge to feed on human blood. Gina arrived with her bag, holding onto it tightly. Kazuma had removed his hood but kept his cloak on, not wearing his mask this time. Gina appeared apprehensive, as if expecting a difficult encounter. "I ain't lettin' ya turn me into no bleedin' vampire, ya got that?" Gina half-threatened, trying to hide her nerves at the thought of being turned into vampire chow. Kazuma provided an explanation, "If I were to do that, I wouldn't get as much blood." "Don't blabber 'bout 'ow it works! Just do it!" Gina bellowed, making a sour face. “Alright. Initially, it may hurt, but Ryunosuke mentioned that eventually it will numb.” "'Oddo is alive... blimey, just do it!" With a soft chuckle, Kazuma gently massaged Gina's shoulders, easing her into a state of relaxation. Skilled and patient, he honed his senses until he found the perfect vein, sinking his teeth into the soft flesh of her neck. Gina's face contorted in pain at first, but slowly her muscles began to unknot beneath his touch. Kazuma listened carefully to the soft sound of her deep breathing as she fought to relax, feeling the unique texture and sweetness of Gina's blood as it flowed into him. Compared to Ryunosuke, her blood was thinner, with a delicate and interesting flavor like nothing he had ever tasted before. As Kazuma drank from Gina's pulsing vein, he experienced a wave of recognition flood through him. Memories of their time spent together training as Vampire Hunters in London came rushing back to him, along with her rebellious spirit and fierce loyalty to her friends. Despite their current circumstances, Kazuma knew that her heart was pure and her intentions kind. It was no surprise that she had initially hesitated to harm him upon discovering his transformation. They were comrades-in-arms and good friends, and Kazuma could feel that bond as he drank from her. Satiated, Kazuma withdrew his fangs, ensuring that he had closed the wounds before gently licking away any remaining traces of Gina's blood. As Kazuma stepped back and broke contact, Gina blinked in surprise and instinctively reached to the tender spot on her neck where the feeding had occurred. "Yer ain't like any o' them bloodsuckers. Vampires go on a rampage without askin' questions and suck their victims dry," Gina declared with a scowl. "Maybe they were preying on addicts," Kazuma pondered. "Lord van Zieks mentioned that vampires who feed on smokers or alcoholics may exhibit signs of gluttony." "The whole lot of them we've met have been just like that!" “Not Lord van Zieks. Ryunosuke says we've been working together with him for quite a while, did I ever mention that to you?" Gina went into a bit of a ponder and said, "Yeh, you was tellin' me that if Lord Stronghart was the one who snuffed yer old man, then the other bloodsuckers gotta 'ave a boss that ain't the Reaper." "If Lord Stronghart is indeed a vampire, then he's most likely the one responsible for creating these other vampires," Kazuma mused. "I wonder if Masters have power over the vampires they turn and control them." Barok, who emerged from the woods, chimed in to answer. "Yes, they certainly can," he replied. “Blimey! Y-You're...!” Gina exclaimed with a hint of shock, taking a few steps back in surprise. "I've never done that before - never made anyone my master," Barok confessed, catching himself before he revealed the true depth of his emotions. He chose his words carefully. "But with Kazuma, it was different. I had to keep my promise to him... to prevent Stronghart from becoming his master." “So, Stronghart 'ad a go at convertin' 'im, didn't 'e?" “He did and I owe my life to Lord van Zieks. He was the one who saved me," Kazuma exclaimed gratefully. "Right, it's time we gave the boss the news!" proclaimed Gina. "Unfortunately, Gregson is in a very risky situation with Stronghart. Any sign of disobedience and Stronghart may hurt him just like he attempted to hurt Kazuma," Barok explained to Kazuma as he touched the bite mark where he had transformed Kazuma. "In fact, Stronghart could even be using you as leverage against Gregson," he added gravely. “M-Me?” Gina exclaimed, taking a step back in fear. “You weren't claimed by any vampire before, but now that Kazuma has bitten and claimed you, you're under his protection. Stronghart won't interfere, but he'll know who claims you,” explained Barok. Kazuma had an epiphany. “So, Stronghart will know that I'm keeping Gina alive?” The other vampire nodded. “Yes, but he never thought you were able to save her. You're lucky she survived with the lowest chance of survival.” “I'm ready to face Stronghart, if need be,” declared Kazuma. “Same. Now that I know the whole bleedin' truth, that bloke's gonna pay, mark my words!" declared Gina, her determination unwavering. Barok shook his head, “No, Kazuma. You can't face Stronghart again. Last time, you were almost killed. You're not ready yet.” “We don't have to face him directly,” Kazuma replied calmly. “We can use the element of surprise. As of now, Stronghart doesn't know that Gina is alive or that she has been claimed by me. Maybe we can use that to our advantage.” "'Ere, 'ang on a tick, 'ow d'ya reckon ya gonna turn that to yer advantage?" inquired Gina, crossing her arms skeptically. "Where does Gregson think you are right now?" Kazuma inquired. "Pfft, I dunno. I just snuck out while 'e was kipin'!" "What if you went missing that night and couldn't be found?"
Kazuma suggested. "Gregson would probably organize a search party and assume you went on a vampire hunt to find the one that made a meal out of that deer." “Meanin', 'e'll be scourin' around that there forest where the deer was spotterd, eh?" “Forgive my discourtesy of my impatience, but could you please explain how that relates to your plan to defeat Stronghart?" "Oi reckon wot Kaz means is, if I went missin' and they're thinkin' I went missin' in that forest where the bleedin' deer were spotted, the boss would send out a search party round there, wouldn't 'e? And if I ain't back in a jiffy, Stronghart would get in on the nitty-gritty, you know what I'm sayin'?" “Exactly! With Gina held captive by a vampire, Stronghart will assume that the captor is..." Kazuma concluded, his eyes turning to Barok. "Me,” Barok said, the realization hitting him. “Don't forget that Stronghart has no idea I'm involved,” Kazuma added, as Barok raised an eyebrow. Gina smirked and poked out her index finger, "Or that you didn't do a bleedin' thing to me," she teased. Barok continued, “If I'm understanding this correctly, our plan is to use Gina's disappearance to lure Stronghart here during the daylight hours. He'll be caught off guard by an attack from two Vampire Hunters, especially if he thinks one of them is already dead.” “Right, and if Stronghart needs Gina as leverage against Gregson, he'll have to search for her no matter the time of day,” Kazuma added. Barok nodded in agreement, then closed his eyes and said, “It's getting close to sunrise. We should rest now if we're going to follow through with this plan.” Kazuma noticed Barok's hesitance and trepidation, the shadows of doubt looming in the depths of his eyes. This was their only opportunity to vanquish Stronghart, once and for all - a moment they had long awaited. Yet, despite this, fear seemed to grip Barok in a tight embrace, his concern for Kazuma's safety taking precedence over everything else. The memory of that fateful night lingered still, haunting him with a terrible fear that he could not shake. The young vampire could sense his master's anxiety, the weight of his worry almost tangible in the air around them. Kazuma couldn't help but imagine himself in Barok's shoes, the thought sending a chill down his spine. He longed to comfort his mentor in some way, to assuage his concerns and calm his nerves. Gina accompanied the two vampires to Barok's manor after an exhausting Vampire Hunt and a late night. Finding respite in one of the guest rooms, she fell into a deep slumber. Meanwhile, Kazuma retreated to his own room to devise a plan for defeating Stronghart. Despite his incomplete memories, he refused to let that setback impede his mission, determined to see it through to the end. Kazuma heard a knock early in the morning, feeling instantly exhausted. It was Ryunosuke at the door, his panicked expression sending chills down Kazuma's spine. "Vampire Hunters are approaching," he cried breathlessly. Kazuma groaned wearily, feeling the weight of the impending danger. "Are you sure?" he asked, hoping against hope that it was a false alarm. "Oi, get yer arse outta bed and get a move on!" Gina exclaimed. Kazuma groaned but rose from his bed, shuffling down the hallway towards her.
Barok hurriedly took Kazuma by the wrist and led him down the hall to a hidden entrance in the manor. The entrance was located at the back of the fireplace and required crawling on hands and knees to get inside. Barok pushed the door open and crawled inside, with Kazuma following close behind. The entrance was secured with a small key, ensuring their safety. The tunnel beyond was pitch black, but with vampires being nocturnal, they were in no danger.
“It seems your plan to lure Stronghart to attacking during the daylight worked too perfectly,” Barok said.
“Is he the one that's on his way here?” Kazuma asked.
“Who else? From Ryunosuke's description of the Hunters, I have no doubt Stronghart is among them.”
“It's not too late, though. We still have a chance to follow through to our plan.”
“Have you forgotten that the sun is just as much our weakness?”
“No. We just have to be flexible with what we have right now,” Kazuma insisted.
Using his heightened senses, Kazuma detected Gina's presence within the manor, preparing for a potential attack. Meanwhile, suspicious intruders were approaching the building - presumably Stronghart's doing. Despite the advantage the opposing vampire had of hiding under the shade of numerous trees, Kazuma was determined to outsmart him. Armed with a silver sword and with the support of Ryunosuke and Gina, who could attack from sunlit areas, Kazuma had a plan to face Stronghart.
That was when Kazuma remembered the garden. Of course! They could lure Stronghart to the garden area. This would be a risk, but this was their only chance to defeating him.
Kazuma suggested, "Why don't we use the garden?"
Barok called out, "Kazuma!" as he chased after him down the tunnel. Kazuma took a sharp turn before eventually climbing up a ladder, with Barok in hot pursuit. "Kazuma, what's your plan? What do you plan on doing in the garden?"
Kazuma replied, "We can lure Stronghart into the garden and take him out there."
Kazuma reached the top of the ladder and slid a small part of the wall open using a small hole. He climbed inside and found himself behind a cupboard, where he squeezed his way through to the food pantry. Retrieving his cloak from atop the cupboard, Kazuma secured it around himself in case he needed protection from the sunlight. Suddenly, Barok emerged from behind the cupboard and firmly took hold of Kazuma's wrist.
Barok expressed his concern, "This is too dangerous! Stronghart almost killed you the last time and he's hunting us down now! You haven't even trained for half a year and you think you can take on the person who transformed you into this?"
Kazuma retorted, "We don't have any other options! We can't let Ryunosuke and Gina face him alone!"
"At least Ryunosuke and Gina aren't us! They might be taken as prisoners in the Hunters Camp, but those Hunters will kill US!"
Kazuma protested, "What if Stronghart tries to convert Ryunosuke or Gina?"
Barok argued, "Not in front of others!"
Kazuma countered, "But he'll have plenty of time once he takes them! We can't abandon our friends!"
Barok got agitated, "I won't let you risk your life again!" He clenched Kazuma's wrist tightly, snarling.
Barok's demeanor was akin to that of a vampire, exhibiting forceful aggression and speaking with a venomous tone. However, beneath the surface, Kazuma recognized an underlying fear, stemming from Barok's past trauma of nearly losing him to Stronghart. Barok was unable to bear the thought of losing Kazuma again, or being so close to experiencing that pain once more.
Despite Barok's attempts to obstruct him, Kazuma refused to be deterred. He glared at Barok and confronted him, "You're a coward for hiding me. How much longer do you plan to do so?"
Barok was initially shocked at Kazuma's sudden aggression. However, Kazuma broke free from Barok's grip, sensing the presence of Vampire Hunters in the manor. Kazuma swiftly armed himself with a wok from the cabinet, just as a hunter entered the kitchen and raised his silver hammer. Kazuma used the wok to shield himself from the attack before delivering a swift kick to the hunter's legs, causing him to trip.
The hunter found himself on his back, catching a glimpse of Kazuma's face. With a tremble in his voice, he cried out, "Kazuma!?"
"Who are you!?" Kazuma shouted back, gripping onto the wok.
"Don't you recognize your mentor, Jig-?" gasped the hunter, realizing it was Kazuma's old teacher. But before he could finish, Kazuma slammed him with the wok. Observing the silver hammer at his feet, Kazuma picked it up, relieved that the handle wasn't silver.
Confused, Barok tried to clarify, "That was Jigoku, the apprentice of Stronghart. He's the one who brought you to London."
Kazuma glanced down at the man and detected a peculiar smell emanating from him. Upon closer inspection, he noticed a bite mark on his skin, which he identified as Stronghart's.
Kazuma had a sudden realization. "He's one of Stronghart's blood donors."
Jigoku's words hit Kazuma like a ton of bricks. "Why are you with him, Kazuma!? He killed your father!" Kazuma realized Jigoku had been in the dark all along. He had no idea that Stronghart had attempted to kill Kazuma and turn him into a vampire. “Listen, I don't know what that Reaper told you but-”
Kazuma took Jigoku firmly in a chokehold, his voice low and dangerous as he spoke. "Let me answer your first question with one of my own: which do you prefer - the artery or the vein?" Jigoku's pupils shrank in fear, and his body trembled under Kazuma's grip.
“Y-You-You're...”
"Well?" Kazuma growled, his teeth dangerously close to Jigoku's neck. "If you're just trying to stall, I could always answer your question for you."
"Get away from me, you beast!" Jigoku yelled, pushing Kazuma off him. Kazuma licked his lips, anger flashing in his eyes. Jigoku reached for his hammer, but Kazuma struck him with a wok before he could grab it. Jigoku fell and saw his hammer within reach. But before he could grab it, he felt a sharp pain in the back of his neck, causing him to scream in agony.
The sound of footsteps caught Jigoku's attention. He turned his head and saw a muscular man brandishing a silver cane. "What's happening here?" he demanded, his eyes landing on Kazuma, who had sunk his teeth into Jigoku's neck.
"Stronghart!" Barok growled, baring his teeth.
"If you're smart, you'll tell your student to let go of my apprentice," Stronghart retorted, his gaze icy.
Barok's eyes flicked to Kazuma, who had his teeth sunk into Jigoku's neck. "Kazuma," he said, and Kazuma released his grip.
Suddenly, Kazuma struck Stronghart with a silver hammer on the side of his head. The blow left Stronghart seething in pain and covering his face. Before he could react, Kazuma hurled Jigoku at him and spat in his direction.
“Too thick for my taste,” Kazuma sneered as Stronghart rose to his feet, shoving his injured apprentice aside.
"You still haven't learned, have you? You're no match for me," Stronghart taunted with a sickly grin, launching an attack at Kazuma. Kazuma barely managed to dodge in time, thanks to Barok's intervention.
Barok pulled Kazuma by the wrist, making them run out of the dining room and into the entrance where the staircase was. Kazuma made a turn toward the door in the back where the garden is. Unfortunately, Stronghart was faster than Kazuma and began striking him with his silver cane. Kazuma felt the pain from the silver from the back of his head before being dragged by his foot, then thrown against the glass door, breaking it in the process. The sun burned through Kazuma's exposed skin. The glass didn't help. Blood was seeping from the cuts from the glass.
"You're a fool. You will die under the hot sun," sneered Stronghart, pulling out his bow and aiming his silver-tipped arrow at Kazuma, who was too injured to move out of harm's way. But just as he was about to release the arrow, a shot rang out, hitting the spot where his heart was. Kazuma flinched and braced himself for the impact of Stronghart's arrow, but it never came.
Stronghart let out a piercing scream when a silver arrow hit him squarely in his heart. He turned around and saw Ryunosuke standing in the sunlight with another silver arrow in hand. In one swift motion, Ryunosuke took aim and fired another arrow at Stronghart.
"Ahh!" Stronghart screamed as he collapsed on the ground, writhing in pain with blood pooling around him. Suddenly, he felt himself being dragged into the sunlight of the garden by Gina.
"Let's 'ave a butchers at who's croakin' in the daylight, ya bloody vampire!" Gina smiled wide.
“Lord van Zieks!” Kazuma cried, his eyes fixed on Barok, who bravely shielded him from Stronghart's silver arrowhead. The arrow pierced him around his waist, causing Barok to grimace in pain.
“Geh,” Barok groaned, trying to remove the arrow. He let out a mighty cry before he finally pulled it out. Gasping for breath, he found solace from the scorching sun inside the manor. Kazuma trudged to his side, visibly shaken by what just happened.
“Barok, if you die...” Kazuma's voice trailed off as he threatened.
“I won't die from just a flesh wound. I'd rather suffer this minor wound than lose the love of my life,” Barok smiled faintly through his pain.
“Don't lie to me! Stop trying to protect me!” Kazuma cried, his eyes welling up with tears. “Why can't you let me have you, Barok? It's not fair!”
“It's not that simple, Kazuma. I'm not sure if your feelings for me will remain the same once your past memories return,” Barok replied, trying to reason with him.
“You are wrong! I love you, and no memory will erase that. I don't care if I once loathed being a vampire. My love for you is stronger than any memory from my past,” Kazuma said, as Barok lifted his hand to cup his face.
“Kazuma...”
“You can't protect me all by yourself, Barok. Let me help you,” Kazuma pleaded, using his sword as a cane to slowly and painfully make his way toward Stronghart under the shade of a nearby bush.
“Are you really going to finish this? You're nothing but a monster,” Stronghart chuckled sickly, his eyes fixed on Kazuma still hobbling toward him.
"'Ey Kaz, don't go an' burn up on us, ya 'ear?" Gina cautioned Kazuma.
Kazuma and Stronghart engaged in a sword fight. Stronghart used his cane to strike Kazuma's sword, but Kazuma parried the attack. They continued exchanging blows and blocking each other's strikes while utilizing whatever bits of shade were available.
"What's your intention with this? You're aware that you'll die from the heat of the sun," Stronghart questioned with concern.
Kazuma smirked and replied, "Do you think I'm not aware of that?" He then charged towards Stronghart with his sword in hand, and as they both fell into the blazing sun, he chuckled. "I cannot allow you to hurt anyone else. Even if it means risking burning here, at least I know that you won't take anyone else I love away."
Stronghart's body writhed in agony as he gasped, "you bastard," struggling for breath. Kazuma pinned him down, feeling the searing heat emanating from Stronghart's back. The pain intensified to the point where it became almost unbearable, causing Kazuma to cry out in anguish. Resigned, Stronghart began to fade, his consciousness slipping away as he prayed for it all to end. Finally, Kazuma succumbed to the darkness, the pain of his injuries overtaking him.
Kazuma's eyes fluttered open to a surreal dream world, where Barok lay next to him on a plush bed, a contented smile on his face. Kazuma's senses were awash with the heady scent of lavender and rose, while a soft hand traced his cheek soothingly. He felt himself drifting away in the wake of pure happiness, relishing the moment. However, this idyllic dream didn't last, fading into blackness before reality hit. He was lying in a darkened room, and Barok was there, his wound fully healed. Kazuma drank in the sight of Barok's warm form wrapped around his own, relief and joy washing over him. As Barok's eyes slowly opened, Kazuma felt his heart fill with wonder and gratitude, his dreams and reality merging into one.
Barok surrendered, conceding, "You win."
Kazuma, unsure, prodded, "What do you mean?"
Barok's hands held Kazuma's face as he pleaded, "Please, you can have me. But please, promise me that you will never hurt yourself like that again." Kazuma felt the weight of Barok's defeat.
Kazuma mumbles, "I should apologize for pushing you."
Barok shakes his head, "No, you were right. I was being unfair. We shouldn't protect each other alone. I should trust you more and consider your feelings. I apologize for putting my desires before yours."
Kazuma agrees, "We both need to work on putting the other person first."
Barok seals their reconciliation with a kiss, whispering, "I love you. Let's sleep some more." Kazuma nuzzles into Barok's warmth and dozes off soundly.
With one another, they need not be apprehensive of any challenges that may arise. Kazuma's memories may return in due course, but his devotion to Barok will endure unwaveringly. Barok's love for Kazuma will also remain steadfast, undiminished by the passage of time. Meanwhile, Stronghart's physical remnants may be located as numerous ash particles strewn along the Thames.
#Ace Attorney#BaroAso#AsoBaro#asobaroweek2023#Day 6#AU#Commitment#Vampire AU#I've read a lot of vampire stories where Barok is the vampire and either Kazuma or Ryunosuke are the human lovers#Either that or Kazuma is the vampire and Ryunosuke is the human lover or vice versa#Never had a love story where both are vampires
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How to Predict Important Life Events with Astrology?
Astrology is an intriguing and age-old practice that has fascinated minds for centuries. One of its optimal profound roles lies in its ability to forecast principal lifestyle events, encompassing now not most effective expert achievements but additionally matters of the coronary heart, nicely-being, and personal development. In this newsletter, we explore the significant role of astrology in predicting major life events and providing spiritual guidance during uncertain times.
Know more about Predicting important Life Events with Astrology. Get an online astrology consultation by the world-renowned astrologer Mr. Alok Khandelwal.
Cosmic Influence of Astrology
Astrology operates at the fascinating precept that an appropriate alignment and positioning of celestial bodies in the meantime of our beginning can expend a thorough impact on our unique personalities, behavioral intent, and the complex paths our lives can also traverse. Precisely inquisitive about these planetary positions, adept astrologers, adeptly decipher the capacity vogue of cosmic energies upon our earthly lifestyles.
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Predicting career milestones through astrology
Astrology can prove to be a useful device in foreseeing huge professional milestones and advancements, providing individuals with profound steerage and foresight. Through a meticulous analysis of the character’s delivery chart and a one-of-a-kind depiction of the planetary configurations at the moment of their delivery, astrologers can parent ability vocational paths, auspicious periods of growth, and propitious opportunities.
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Impact on Relationships and Love
Another realm where the exquisite energy of astrology truly involves the fore is in its profound capability to are expecting and light up the difficult tapestry of relationships and love lives.
Through a meticulous examination of the celestial tapestry woven in the delivery charts of individuals, skilled astrologers are adept at unravelling the complicated dynamics of romantic entanglements, presenting beneficial insights into marriage possibilities, and delving into the depths of compatibility with potential partners.
Drawing upon the celestial dance of Venus, the enchanting planet of love, and the chic effect of the 7th house in the natal chart, which reigns over partnerships, astrology unfurls its majestic canvas to expose the capability for sublime concord or the inherent challenges which could lie in the nation-states of human connection.
Read Also:- Cosmic Connection of Zodiac Signs and Vastu, that Align for Harmonious Living
Influence on Health and Well-being
Astrology additionally extends its influence to the world of health. Medical astrology, a department of astrology, specializes in connecting planetary energies and bodily properly-being. By examining the man or woman’s start chart and identifying capacity imbalances or touchy regions, astrologers can provide steering on maintaining good fitness and understanding potential health dangers. It is essential to notice that astrology is not an alternative to scientific advice, however, it could supplement traditional healthcare practices and sell holistic nicely-being.
Personal Growth and Self-recognition Analysis
Astrology is going past predicting outside events; it also serves as a tool for private increase and self-consciousness. By delving into the intricacies of one’s delivery chart, individuals can gain treasured insights into their strengths, weaknesses, and existence training. Astrology can help individuals understand their innate characteristics, capability challenges, and regions for personal improvement. Learning astrology thru an internet astrology path can empower people to decipher their birth charts and embark on a journey of self-discovery.
The Vedic Science Connection
Astrology unearths its roots in Vedic technology, a historical Indian machine of expertise that encompasses various disciplines. Vedic astrology, additionally referred to as Jyotish, is deeply intertwined with the Vedic way of life and gives a complete approach to the know-how of existence’s intricacies. By reading Vedic astrology, individuals can tap into the wealthy expertise of this ancient science and advantage a deeper appreciation for its profound insights.
Astrology performs a tremendous function in predicting main existence activities, supplying steerage, and promoting self-recognition. From professional milestones to relationships, fitness, and personal growth, astrology gives a unique attitude which could help individuals navigate their life journeys.
By consulting a relied-on online astrologer and studying astrology through specialized guides, individuals can free up the transformative energy of this historic practice. Embrace the knowledge of astrology and embark on an adventure of self-discovery, empowerment, and information.
Read Also:- Emotional Impact of Lunar Cycles: Exploring the Moon’s Influence
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How to Predict Important Life Events with Astrology?
Astrology is an intriguing and age-old practice that has fascinated minds for centuries. One of its optimal profound roles lies in its ability to forecast principal lifestyle events, encompassing now not most effective expert achievements but additionally matters of the coronary heart, nicely-being, and personal development. In this newsletter, we explore the significant role of astrology in predicting major life events and providing spiritual guidance during uncertain times.
Know more about Predicting important Life Events with Astrology. Get an online astrology consultation by the world-renowned astrologer Mr. Alok Khandelwal.
Cosmic Influence of Astrology
Astrology operates at the fascinating precept that an appropriate alignment and positioning of celestial bodies in the meantime of our beginning can expend a thorough impact on our unique personalities, behavioral intent, and the complex paths our lives can also traverse. Precisely inquisitive about these planetary positions, adept astrologers, adeptly decipher the capacity vogue of cosmic energies upon our earthly lifestyles.
It is essential to recognise, however, that astrology no longer object to provide a rigid roadmap for our lives. Still, rather, it provides upon us a enormous opportunities and probabilities, intricately woven from the celestial symphony of styles and interconnections.
Predicting career milestones through astrology
Astrology can prove to be a useful device in foreseeing huge professional milestones and advancements, providing individuals with profound steerage and foresight. Through a meticulous analysis of the character’s delivery chart and a one-of-a-kind depiction of the planetary configurations at the moment of their delivery, astrologers can parent ability vocational paths, auspicious periods of growth, and propitious opportunities.
Delving deep into the intricacies of the Sun, Moon, and other planetary positions, as well as the ever-shifting tides of planetary transits and celestial aspects, these skilled practitioners offer a wealth of illuminating insights into the multifaceted tapestry of one’s professional voyage.
Impact on Relationships and Love
Another realm where the exquisite energy of astrology truly involves the fore is in its profound capability to are expecting and light up the difficult tapestry of relationships and love lives.
Through a meticulous examination of the celestial tapestry woven in the delivery charts of individuals, skilled astrologers are adept at unravelling the complicated dynamics of romantic entanglements, presenting beneficial insights into marriage possibilities, and delving into the depths of compatibility with potential partners.
Drawing upon the celestial dance of Venus, the enchanting planet of love, and the chic effect of the 7th house in the natal chart, which reigns over partnerships, astrology unfurls its majestic canvas to expose the capability for sublime concord or the inherent challenges which could lie in the nation-states of human connection.
Read Also:- Cosmic Connection of Zodiac Signs and Vastu, that Align for Harmonious Living
Influence on Health and Well-being
Astrology additionally extends its influence to the world of health. Medical astrology, a department of astrology, specializes in connecting planetary energies and bodily properly-being. By examining the man or woman’s start chart and identifying capacity imbalances or touchy regions, astrologers can provide steering on maintaining good fitness and understanding potential health dangers. It is essential to notice that astrology is not an alternative to scientific advice, however, it could supplement traditional healthcare practices and sell holistic nicely-being.
Personal Growth and Self-recognition Analysis
Astrology is going past predicting outside events; it also serves as a tool for private increase and self-consciousness. By delving into the intricacies of one’s delivery chart, individuals can gain treasured insights into their strengths, weaknesses, and existence training. Astrology can help individuals understand their innate characteristics, capability challenges, and regions for personal improvement. Learning astrology thru an internet astrology path can empower people to decipher their birth charts and embark on a journey of self-discovery.
The Vedic Science Connection
Astrology unearths its roots in Vedic technology, a historical Indian machine of expertise that encompasses various disciplines. Vedic astrology, additionally referred to as Jyotish, is deeply intertwined with the Vedic way of life and gives a complete approach to the know-how of existence’s intricacies. By reading Vedic astrology, individuals can tap into the wealthy expertise of this ancient science and advantage a deeper appreciation for its profound insights.
Astrology performs a tremendous function in predicting main existence activities, supplying steerage, and promoting self-recognition. From professional milestones to relationships, fitness, and personal growth, astrology gives a unique attitude which could help individuals navigate their life journeys.
By consulting a relied-on online astrologer and studying astrology through specialized guides, individuals can free up the transformative energy of this historic practice. Embrace the knowledge of astrology and embark on an adventure of self-discovery, empowerment, and information.
Read Also:- Emotional Impact of Lunar Cycles: Exploring the Moon’s Influence
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i saw ur new post and !! i think thats such a good idea ! i dont often get crushes on niche characters , but i get super fixated on them when i do because i cant just binge their content ;(( one of those characters is so niche the only thing i found about her written online was when she was mentioned in her show ' s wiki page , , which is only about 6 sentences long </3 sorry for the ramble though ! if i can request a character , i would love to have something written for shaiapouf from hxh :,) a big part of his character is that he hates humans / are disgusted by them but , , what if he just had a really soft spot for the reader and the reader had a soft spot for him :,))
I hope this one is okay!! I barely know who this man is but he's insane I love him
“Your wings are—” you pause for a moment, trying to find a word that encompasses all your thoughts. In the end, you have to settle on “—gorgeous.”
He almost flinches back— although you’re gentle about it, he’s not sure anyone else has ever touched his wings before. He’s not even completely sure why he’s letting you do it.
You shift your weight to get more comfortable on the rough shingles of the rooftop; the strange man had spirited you off into the night and set you down on the tallest building he could find. You’d expected him to vanish on those stained-glass wings, leave you trapped up here as some kind of cruel joke— but instead, he’d collapsed next to you, folding his long legs under himself and staring intently at the people down below.
Shaiapouf blinks, realizing that he hasn’t responded to you, and that you’re watching him carefully for signs of discomfort. And then he realizes that the weight of your hand on his wings isn’t uncomfortable at all; if anything, it’s the opposite.
He bristles and a scowl climbs its way to his sharp face. “You should be honored you’ve even gotten this close.” There’s no real bite to his voice, though; he doesn’t even move back, despite the fact that your thighs are touching. He ruffles his wings in the breeze, and underneath the black, you catch the smallest glimpse of those iridescent scales.
Ever so gently, you take the edge of his wing between your fingers, keeping your eyes on his face; his own eyes are trained on your hand, but he doesn’t move as you lift his wing higher, unfolding it until his scales catch the moonlight.
Gorgeous isn’t even the right word— you don’t know the right word. Breathtaking. Exquisite. Sublime.
“Would you let me see them more sometime?” You know full well what his answer will be, but you ask anyways.
Shaiapouf tilts his head, his eyes sliding shut as he pretends to think. Without saying anything, he draws himself to his feet in one smooth motion, completely unafraid of the slope of the roof— anyone who can fly ceases to fear a fall.
He extends his hand down to you. You blink up at him, but he won’t meet your eyes.
“Come on, then— I don’t have all evening.”
That’s another lie. You both know it.
When you accept his open hand, he’s quick to swing you up into his arms; as thin as he is, he’s not human, and you can feel a strength that far surpasses your own rippling through him. He’s surprisingly warm; now that you’ve gotten up close and personal, your gaze traces the lines of his jaw, the slender curves of his neck, the broadness of his shoulders as you try to get comfortable— and then, in a rush of air and light, his wings unfold behind him.
They glow. You knew that, but still, getting to see it like this, the shimmering colors that threaten to outshine the moon— you’re so caught up in your daze that you don’t notice the way he’s looking at you, his smile soft and his hold gentle.
You also don’t notice when he asks, “Ready?”
All at once, his powerful wings have caught the wind and lifted you both off into the night.
#fading out of obscurity#hunter x hunter#shaiapouf#scenarios#imagines#cherrriesandstuffontop#sorry for the wait!
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The Words - The Twenty-fourth Word - Part 45
In physical terms you are a small, insignificant, impotent, wretched, and restricted particular being. But through His grace and favors you have become a universal, enlightened, and enlightening being. He has endowed you with life and thereby promoted you to the rank of a particular kind of universality. By endowing you with humanity, He has raised you to the rank of true universality, and by granting to you Islam, to the the rank of a sublime and luminous universality; and by bestowing on you love and knowledge of God, He has made you attain an all-encompassing light.
O soul! As you have received these wages already, you are charged with worship, which is an easy, pleasant, and rewarding Divine gift. But you are lazy when it comes to performing it. When you carry it out defectively, as though you consider the advance wages insufficient, you arrogantly demand more. You also put on airs and complain that your prayers are not accepted. Your due is not complaint but offering petitions and supplications to God Almighty. He bestows Paradise and eternal happiness purely out of His Grace and Kindness. Therefore, always seek refugee in His Mercy and Grace, rely on Him, and heed the following Divine declaration: Say: “Out of His Grace and Mercy,” and at that let them rejoice. It is better than what they have been accumulating (10:58).
If you ask: “How can I respond to those universal, infinite favors through my restricted, particular thankfulness?”, the answer will what follows: Through a universal intention and infinitely profound belief and devotion. Suppose a poor man enters the king’s presence with a cheap (in materialistic terms) present. There he sees expensive gifts sent by the king’s favorites. He thinks: “My present means nothing, but this is what I can afford.” Then suddenly he addresses the king, saying: “My lord! I offer all these precious gifts in my name, for you deserve them. If I could, I would offer a double of these.”
#allah#god#islam#muslim#revert#reverthelp#reverthelp team#convert#new revert#new convert#new muslim#muslim revert#muslim convert#welcome to islam#revert to islam#convert to islam#how to convert to islam#prophet#muhammad#quran#sunnah#hadith#dua#pray#prayer#salah#help
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➝ TE-TRA-GRAM-MA-TON.
One of the most important aspects of the Occult is that of The Tetragrammaton. The Tetragrammaton is a Greek word meaning ‘the four lettered name’ and represents the four lettered name of God; the four Hebrew letters Yod, Heh, Vav, Heh, which transliterates into YHVH, or IHVH in Latin. Mispronunciations of The Tetragrammaton is where the name Jehovah, YahWeh, and YahVeh derive from. As all four letters are consonants, the true name of God is unpronounceable. Because the name is unpronounceable, inherently many derivations of a pronunciation exist which the magician can invoke in the work he performs. The quote of “Man Made In The Image Of God” also pertains to The Tetragrammaton as when all 4 Hebrew letters are written in an up-and-down orientation the word itself creates the form of a human being. The Tetragrammaton in this representation is drawn as a Pentagram, which is one of the most important and misunderstand elements in the Occult. The Pentagram has 5 points, each of these points represents one of the 5 elements in nature: Earth, Air, Fire, Water and the topmost center point represents Ether, or Spirit; all 5 elements of God and nature. Within the Pentagram itself contains the graphical representations of all 7 “planets” and alchemical elements: The Moon (Silver), The Sun (Gold), Jupiter (Tin), Saturn (Lead), Mars (Iron), Venus (Copper) and Mercury (Mercury or Quicksilver, the most sublime of all elements). With the 'Eyes of God’ in the center, thus this graphical representation of the The Tetragrammaton is an all encompassing depiction of God, nature and the Occult. ➝ Symbols on the pentagram:The Blazing pentagram, the flaming star, the sign of Divine omnipotence, the ineffable symbol of the Verb made flesh, the terrific star of the Magi, is also named Pentalpha because it contains in itself five Alphas, that is to say five letters “A” within its five angles • PENTA = Signifies Five in Greek.• ALPHA = First letter of the Greek Alphabet.• GRAMMA = Graphic or Letter in Greek.➝ Around the Pentalpha we find the word TETRAGRAMMATON.:• TETRA = Signifies four in Greek.• GRAMMA = Signifies Graphic or Letter in Greek.• TON = In the Greek language at the end of any word, denotes the union of two, three, four, five or more unities or letters in one single name or unity. Therefore Tetragrammaton is the magic word or Greek “mantra” of an immense priesthood power that synthesizes in one unity the four Kabbalistics letters (יהוה Iod Hei Vav Hei) that in Kabbalah are utilized to name divinity. Continue reading here. https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1285588479748608004
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Who are your top 5 favorite relationships for John and why? (Can be canon or otherwise)
Hello again Anon-kun!
Thank you for your interest!
That is a pretty loaded question. Relationships come in many forms and flavours, so in the style of my favourite Vertigo writers, I’ll break it down as follows:
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1. Courtship: Kit
Their relationship may be simple and straightforward but it’s a beautiful thing. His love for her saved him from the Prince of Darkness and it also drove him to a six-month bender when she ended it.
It was great while it lasted, and her inclusion in the series showed John’s tender loving side.
(The Prince of Darkness also showed up at the end of that bender which was poetic, subtle but there. Also, why does he look like James Dean??)
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2. Friendship: Chas
Ah, Chas. What can I say, I’m a sucker for this man. Everyone loves Chas for his loyalty and steadfastness towards John. Everyone also loves overlooking the importance of his supporting role throughout the Vertigo series.
He grounds John, keeps him relatively human, and his perspective highlights the non-occult side of the world of Hellblazer. This reins in the absurdity of magic and places urban occult within the borders of being relatable.
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3. Kinship: Timothy Hunter
So this is the most obscure but it is without a doubt my favourite. These two are so alike that it hurts. Shit childhood, no mother, thrown into the world of magic at a very young age, cynical, BRITISH, periodically homeless, lone wolf syndrome, wanderlust, trust issues, poor finances, operates on a grey moral scale...well, the list could go on.
Needless to say, John should adopt Timmy...or maybe it’s the other way round.
...it’s the other way round.
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4. Partnership: Zatanna Zatara
They are amazing together. Finally someone of equal magical prowess that can hold their own and NOT DIE. They should bicker more.
I love their romance but just like Kit, it’s only a matter of time. John is not one to settle down and not many people in his life are able to truly understand that. Their relationship suffered from differences in viewpoint and moral standing, which caused their time together to be short-lived.
Again, it was great while it lasted.
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5. Ownership: The Copy
This is one of the most interesting concepts in the entirety of the Hellblazer run. I thoroughly enjoyed every single moment of the Copy’s appearance in the books. He is a twisted, foul creature that encompasses the worst of John’s humanity.
Demon John is the epitome of the human complex, the dirty and the hidden, and together with his Maker, they are sublime.
Very fascinating indeed.
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Special mention HC:
Fellowship: Jason Blood
This never happened canonically but I must have it. I MUST. They don’t have to be bonking each other or whatever, I just want stories to happen with them both inside it, together, doing THINGS.
COME ON, CANON WRITERS, CAN’T YOU SEE THIS GOLD MINE HERE THAT NEEDS TO BE HARVESTED RIGHT NOW?!
They can even pull a CSI: London or whatever, at this point I’m seriously not picky.
I MEAN...!
LOOK! COMEDY GOLD! WITH POETRY!
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So to end it off, basically I JUST LIKE A GOOD STORY.
John can be with anyone or anything and if placed in good hands, it will be a good story and I’ll be satisfied.
Too bad Vertigo is no more.
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Cinema Variety’s Top 25 Favorite Films of the Decade
This past decade has been a monumental ten years for the state of cinema. To think that there were actually still video rental stores all around the country, to almost becoming nonexistent, is statement enough to show how vastly audiences have changed the way they consume media. Through much thought and careful deliberation, the following 25 films are my personal favorites of the decade and are what I think best represent all that indie, international and arthouse cinema had to offer over the past ten years. Honorable Mentions: Shame Green Room A Ghost Story The Lost City of Z Knight of Cups 20th Century Women Jackie Blade Runner 2049 The Lighthouse Ingrid Goes West A Hidden Life
#25 - Suspiria (2018) Dir. Luca Guadagnino
“It’s only hours afterward that Guadagnino’s film will cohere for you and yield its buried treasures: the bonds of secret sorority, the strength of a line of dancers moving like a single organism, the present rippling with the muscle memory of the past. It’s so good, it’s scary.”
#24 - Call Me By Your Name (2017) Dir. Luca Guadagnino
“The final beats of Guadagnino’s adaptation galvanize two hours of simmering uncertainty into a gut-wrenchingly wistful portrait of two people trying to find themselves before it’s too late.”
#23 - American Honey (2016) Dir. Andrea Arnold
“Part dreamy millennial picaresque, part distorted tapestry of Americana and part exquisitely illustrated iTunes musical, “Honey” daringly commits only to the loosest of narratives across its luxurious 162-minute running time. Yet it’s constantly, engrossingly active, spinning and sparking and exploding in cycles like a Fourth of July Catherine wheel.”
#22 - Post Tenebras Lux (2013) Dir. Carlos Reygadas
“Some metaphors score and some miss, but this is leap-of-faith cinema: the rewards entail some risks.”
#21 - The Revenant (2015) Dir. Alejandro G. Iñárritu
“Pushing both brutal realism and extravagant visual poetry to the edges of what one customarily finds in mainstream American filmmaking, director/co-writer Alejandro G. Inarritu, cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki and a vast team of visual effects wizards have created a sensationally vivid and visceral portrait of human endurance under very nearly intolerable conditions.”
#20 - Her (2013) Dir. Spike Jonze
“What begins like an arrested adolescent dream soon blossoms into Jonze’s richest and most emotionally mature work to date, burrowing deep into the give and take of relationships, the dawning of middle-aged ennui, and that eternal dilemma shared by both man and machine: the struggle to know one’s own true self.”
#19 - Annihilation (2018) Dir. Alex Garland
“A shimmering example of what Hollywood sci-fi can achieve when the aim is high, Annihilation is a gripping, mystifying adventure and proof that a transportive experience is more rewarding than a story with clean-cut resolutions.”
#18 - The Neon Demon (2016) Dir. Nicolas Winding Refn
“Spectacular, gross and delicious (so unsavory it’s almost sweet), the film is more proof of Refn’s mastery of his trash aesthetic and more fun than anything this indulgent and empty-headed has any right to be.”
#17 - Waves (2019) DIr. Trey Edward Shults
“Propelled by color, energy, electronic music and a quartet of career-making performances, here is that rare sort of cinematic achievement that innovates at every turn, while teaching audiences how to make intuitive sense of the way it pushes the medium.”
#16 - Mother! (2017) Dir. Darren Aronofsky
“Mother! is something truly magnificent, the kind of visceral trash-arthouse experience that comes along very rarely, means as much or as little as you decide it does, and spits you out into the daylight dazzled, queasy, delirious, and knock-kneed as a newborn calf.”
#15 - Melancholia (2011) Dir. Lars Von Trier
“The vision is as hateful as it is hate-filled, but the fusion of form and content is so perfect that it borders on the sublime. Melancholia is a remarkable mood piece with visuals to die for (excuse the pun), and a performance from Dunst that runs the color spectrum of emotions.”
#14 - Song to Song (2017) Dir. Terrence Malick
“Any number of sequences find feelings both externalized and hidden intermingling within the same shot, continuing in a subsequent image that carries the impression, the feeling, without replicating the exact tenor of what has just been seen. They exist simultaneously as certain backstories and what motivations they may inspire delicately unfold. Malick has found a way to translate how a familiar song has the ability to transport you back to a particular time and conjure a specific set of emotions. Whatever he’s been exploring over the past few years pays off here.”
#13 - If Beale Street Could Talk (2018) Dir. Barry Jenkins
“What Jenkins gets most right—what astonishes me the most about this film—is Baldwin’s vast affection for the broad varieties of black life. It’s one of the signature lessons of Baldwin’s work that blackness contains multitudes. In some ways Beale feels less like a movie than a well-staged, meticulously shot play; a period piece that floats beyond its specific time and place and into the realm of allegory.”
#12 - Samsara (2012) Dir. Ron Fricke
“Simply put, Samsara tells the story of our world, but onscreen, it is so much more than that. A darker and more ambitious meditation on impermanence, Samsara relies on blunt force and unforgettable imagery, overcoming the hazy logic of Fricke's editing to earn your awe.”
#11 - It’s Such a Beautiful Day (2012) Dir. Don Hertzfeldt
“A highly original and utterly enthralling film that touches on staggeringly expansive themes - more typically expected in the work of master auteur and persistent award-winner Terrence Malick, than from animations. An existential flipbook and a heartbreaking black joke: stickmen have never looked so alive.”
#10 - Upstream Color (2013) Dir. Shane Carruth
“You may not be able to figure it out, but that's part of the point of this sensually-directed, sensory-laden experiential (and experimental) piece of art that washes over you like a sonorous bath of beguiling visuals, ambient sounds and corporeal textures.”
#9 - Hereditary (2018) Dir. Ari Aster
“It’s a supremely effective gauntlet of supernatural horror that’s also, at blackened heart, a grueling domestic drama about how trauma, resentment, and guilt can seep into the roots of a family tree, rotting it from the inside out.”
#8 - Spring Breakers (2013) Dir. Harmony Korine
“Spring Breakers seems to be holding a funhouse mirror up to the face of youth-driven pop culture, leaving us uncertain whether to laugh, recoil in horror, or marvel at its strange beauty. Full credit to Korine, who sustains this act of creative vandalism right through to the finish. Spring Breakers unfolds as a fever dream of teenage kicks, a high-concept heist movie with mescal in the fuel tank.”
#7 - The Master (2012) Dir. Paul Thomas Anderson
“Two things stand out: the extraordinary command of cinematic technique, which alone is nearly enough to keep a connoisseur on the edge of his seat the entire time, and the tremendous portrayals by Joaquin Phoenix and Philip Seymour Hoffman of two entirely antithetical men. Written, directed, acted, shot, edited and scored with a bracing vibrancy that restores your faith in film as an art form, The Master is nirvana for movie lovers. Anderson mixes sounds and images into a dark, dazzling music that is all his own.”
#6 - Interstellar (2014) Dir. Christopher Nolan
“It’s a bold, beautiful cosmic adventure story with a touch of the surreal and the dreamlike, and yet it always feels grounded in its own deadly serious reality. An exhilarating slalom through the wormholes of Christopher Nolan’s vast imagination that is at once a science-geek fever dream and a formidable consideration of what makes us human.”
#5 - The Place Beyond the Pines (2013) Dir. Derek Cianfrance
“A brilliant, towering picture, The Place Beyond The Pines is a cinematic accomplishment of extraordinary grace and insight. The movie succeeds both as a high-stakes crime thriller as well as a far quieter and empathetic study of angry, solitary men proves that Cianfrance has a penchant for bold storytelling and an eye for performances to carry it through.”
#4 - Black Swan (2010) Dir. Darren Aronofsky
“A full-bore melodrama, told with passionate intensity, gloriously and darkly absurd. It centers on a performance by Natalie Portman that is nothing short of heroic. This is, no doubt about it, a tour de force, a work that fully lives up to its director's ambitions.”
#3 - Drive (2011) Dir. Nicolas Winding Refn
“From the beginning, it's clear this is not a standard-order action film. It takes its characters as seriously as its chases, shootouts, and fights. Drive dynamically merges a terrific film noir plot with a cool retro look. It's an unapologetically commercial picture that defies all the current trends in mainstream action filmmaking.”
#2 - Blue Valentine (2010) Dir. Derek Cianfrance
“Cianfrance and his actors, Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling, have not made a cold or schematic film. They aim instead for raw emotional experience, one that's full of insight into the ways a relationship can go astray, but mostly feels like a slow-motion punch to the gut.”
#1 - The Tree of Life (2011) Dir. Terrence Malick
"The Tree of Life is a film of vast ambition and deep humility, attempting no less than to encompass all of existence and view it through the prism of a few infinitesimal lives. I wrote earlier about the many ways this film evoked my own memories of such time and place. About wide lawns. About a town that somehow, in memory, is always seen with a wide-angle lens. About houses that are never locked. About mothers looking out windows to check on their children. About the summer heat and ennui of church services, and the unpredictable theater of the dinner table, and the troubling sounds of an argument between parents, half-heard through an open window.”
#favorite films of the decade#best films of the decade#decade in review#favorite films#shame#steve mcqueen#green room#jeremy saulnier#a ghost story#david lowery#the lost of city#james gray#knight of cups#terrence malick#20th century women#mike mills#jackie#pablo lorraine#blade runner 2049#denis villeneuve#the lighthouse#robert eggers#ingrid goes west#a hidden life#suspiria#luca guadagnino#call me by your name#american honey#andrea arnold#post tenebras lux
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Best of the Fests 2020.
From 17th-century werewolves to WWII gremlins to present-day nomads, the stripped-back, mostly virtual 2020 fall festivals still managed to bring the goods. Our team rounds up the very best titles we saw at TIFF, NYFF, the BFI London Film Festival and beyond.
LISTEN: Gemma Gracewood and Ella Kemp chew over their festival favorites in the latest episode of The Letterboxd Show.
Kudos to the teams at the Toronto, New York and BFI London Film Festivals for pulling excellent hybrid festivals together in extremely weird, not-at-all-ideal circumstances. From the always-excellent conversations (and Cameron Bailey’s always-excellent suits) to the hybrid options for viewing, we left feeling hope for our favorite art form.
We have been keeping track, over on our Twitter account, of the many film festivals going online, and it’s safe to say that virtual film festivals—and the wider accessibility they offer—have been a silver lining to this mostly awful year. Indeed, the 58th NYFF was one of Film at Lincoln Center’s most-attended festivals, with 70,000+ attendees in all 50 states and beyond. (We participated in a NYFF Industry Talk, along with MUBI and Rotten Tomatoes, about the future of online film conversation, moderated by Indiewire’s David Ehrlich.)
Attempting to replicate the extreme fatigue of the real thing, our festival team (Ella Kemp, Aaron Yap, Kambole Campbell, Jack Moulton and Gemma Gracewood and—helping us bridge the geo-locked divide—Canadian TIFF regular Jonathan White) disregarded international date lines and dove right in. We saw many films to love, but by consensus (and a poke around your Letterboxd reactions) these are the ones we’re still thinking about.
Lovers Rock Directed by Steve McQueen, written by McQueen and Courttia Newland. The ‘Small Axe’ anthology will be released on a weekly rollout on Amazon Prime Video beginning November 20 with ‘Mangrove’, then ‘Lovers Rock’, ‘Red, White and Blue’, ‘Alex Wheatle’ and finally ‘Education’. Seen at: NYFF, BFI London Film Festival.
Lovers Rock, the first part of Steve McQueen’s ambitious, multi-part film project Small Axe, feels like a massive stylistic departure for the filmmaker, in a manner that completely transfixes and astounds. It’s no wonder that this one turned heads at multiple festivals, as it’s immediately warmer, more freewheeling and sensual than any other McQueen work. It’s defined by a hypnotic focus on sound and touch, represented in its earliest scenes with a tactile close-up of a heated comb working its way through hair, and later with its focus on hands wrapped around shoulders, moving across shirts and dresses, people joining together and/or colliding through song and dance. Despite being made for television, it’s astounding how little Lover’s Rock feels that way. Often impressionistic and unbound to the kind of urgency or efficiency that naturally comes with having to adhere to a time-slot, it simply rests in the moment. With the seismic protests being undertaken by Black people this year, Lovers Rock feels like more than welcome respite from a hateful populace—visually rich, gorgeously soundtracked Black joy and love. Also, man, those shirts are incredible. —KC
Nomadland Written and directed by Chloé Zhao. In US theaters December 4. Seen at: TIFF, NYFF, BFI London Film Festival.
“I am already convinced that Chloé Zhao deserves the whole world,” writes Jaime of Nomadland, the TIFF People’s Choice winner. Personal security is something we don’t think about on a daily basis. We have shelter, we can buy food, anything else is bonus. But what if those two basic tenets vanish? While the global financial crisis affected all in 2008, it affected retirees more. Supposedly secure retirement investments vanished; security no more. What do you do? Survive. Zhao’s adaptation of Jessica Bruder’s 2017 non-fiction masterpiece Nomadland: Surviving America in the Twenty-First Century is a beacon of human spirit and survival. It may not be pretty, but it’s real. It’s not something to be embarrassed about, it’s something to be proud of. Those that let this happen to good, honest working people should be the ones embarrassed. —JW
Minari Written and directed by Lee Isaac Chung. No release date announced. Seen at: Middleburg Film Festival.
Minari is the medicine for these tough times. It’s a wonderful, wonderful, deeply personal, utterly serene and metaphysical portrait of America—freedom, faith, superstition, forces of nature, and ambition collide with the costs of intoxicating capitalist dreams, but not without a whole lot of heart. This is elegantly crafted, at once organic in its approach and always sweepingly cinematic. The film’s gentle sense of humor ensures that it never takes itself too seriously and allows the weight of its poetic images and juxtapositions to guide the narrative. The brilliant ensemble should grow to join Steven Yeun as household names (well, cinephile households). Youn Yuh-jung and Alan Kim are bright sparks as the latest classic duo of sassy grandma and precocious grandchild, but it’s Han Ye-ri—taking on the surrogate role of director Lee Isaac Chung’s mother—who provides an overlooked and tender sounding board for familial bonds in fraction. Minari is truly one of 2020’s most invaluable and essential pieces of art, living up to the hype built since Sundance. Korea came to the USA for the Oscars earlier this year, and if 2021 shows similar mercy, there’s a chance you’ll see this home-grown Asian-American picture mounting that stage in future. —JM
Wolfwalkers Directed by Tomm Moore and Ross Stewart, written by Will Collins with Moore and Stewart. Recently released in UK theaters; coming to Apple TV+ December 11. Seen at: TIFF, BFI London Film Festival.
The much-anticipated Cartoon Saloon adventure Wolfwalkers was met with only joy around here. A fable about what happens when a colonizing force tries to tame a wild forest, set during Oliver Cromwell’s Siege of Kilkenny, Wolfwalkers builds to “one of the most sensational animated third acts I’ve seen in years,” according to Animatedantic. The film’s themes are embedded in every hand-drawn line and stroke. “It’s not sleek and seamless and modern,” writes Cow Shea. “This is transparently a true work of art where all the work of that art is part of the finished product.” Mebh and Robyn are animated action heroes for the ages, and you’ll hear a lot about ‘Wolfvision’ in the weeks to come—for very good reason. Werewolf films have, for years, tried different ways to put us inside the beast’s mind, but Tomm Moore and Ross Stewart followed their noses and it’s as thrilling as things get. —GG
David Byrne’s American Utopia Directed by Spike Lee. On HBO and HBO Max now. Seen at: TIFF, NYFF, BFI London Film Festival.
David Byrne’s American Utopia is well on track to join Jonathan Demme’s film of another Byrne stage outing, Stop Making Sense (1984), as one of the highest-rated anythings on Letterboxd. We’re still deciding whether this film is sublime because the stage show itself is sublime, or because Spike Lee has sublimely captured the whole joyous thing for us to inject into our eyeballs, time and again, for far less than the price of a Broadway ticket. Let’s be honest: it’s due to both, and more besides. It’s a blessing upon 2020, of that we are certain. As Clint writes, “The phrase ‘this is the film we need right now’ is such a creaky cliché, but there’s an ineffable feeling that, if David Byrne and Spike Lee can’t heal the world with grey suits, bare feet, and some of the most all-encompassing works of music ever written, no one can.” As my colleague says, “will rewatch to death”. —GG
Shiva Baby Written and directed by Emma Seligman. On the festival circuit. Seen at: TIFF, LFF.
A girl walks into a shiva and bumps into her sugar daddy. What sounds like a joke sets up 77 minutes of note-perfect comedy horror in Emma Seligman’s Shiva Baby, her feature debut adapted from her dissertation short of the same name. It’s funny, horrifying, excruciating and so painfully, accurately Jewish. Isaac Feldberg calls it “cruelly hilarious about everything smothering and inevitably miserable about Jewish family gatherings”, but Seligman’s sharp eye for comedy, her affection for her teen hero Danielle (Rachel Sennott, a bona fide star) just figuring her career out and owning her sexuality (Molly Gordon playing Danielle’s overachieving ex-girlfriend Maya is a highlight) cuts straight to the core, however you relate. Matt Neglia points out how Shiva Baby “captures the behaviors of its characters with the same level of dry wit and detail as the Coen Brothers would”. What a thrill for a young, smart, Jewish, bisexual woman to be setting the pace now. Keep an eye on Seligman’s bright, bright future. —EK
Tove Directed by Zaida Bergroth, written by Eeva Putro. Released in Finland; on the festival circuit elsewhere. Seen at: TIFF.
If there was a film swoony enough to fill the Portrait of a Lady on Fire-sized hole in your heart this year, it’s Zaida Bergroth’s Tove, a bewitching biopic of Finnish author and illustrator Tove Jansson, creator of the beloved Moomin cartoon characters. Set in Helsinki during and post-World War II, the film orbits around her boho world, flitting between her creative struggles as a painter and deep sexual awakening with married theater director Vivica Bandler (Krista Kosonen). As Lillian says, “Lesbians and Moomins is such a huge fucking mood I never wanted it to end.” Alma Pöysti shines effortlessly in the lead role. “The film happens on her fantastic face,” writes Hannu. Seth agrees: “a captivating first-class drama about a world-renowned talent in search of her own identity, love and freedom.” A cozy fall-season perfection. —AY
Shadow in the Cloud Co-written and directed by Roseanne Liang. Slated for a summer 2021 release. Seen at: TIFF, AFI Fest.
A proud addition to the “she did that!” canon, the single downside of Roseanne Liang’s genre-perfect, “deliciously fearless” Midnight Madness winner Shadow in the Cloud is that there was no Midnight Madness to experience it at—but thanks to a juicy sale out of TIFF, we can look forward to a premiere next summer. Chloë Grace Moretz is Maude Garrett, a WWII pilot assigned to transport a highly classified package over the Pacific. The all-male crew of the B-17 Flying Fortress banishes her to the lower ball turret, where they harass, gaslight and leer over her—and that is nowhere near the worst part of this bonkers, non-stop hell flight, which Moretz carries like the future action hero she must now become, if the movie goddesses are listening. —GG
Pieces of a Woman Directed by Kornél Mundruczó, written by Kata Wéber. Coming soon to Netflix. Seen at: TIFF, NYFF.
You will be hearing a lot about Vanessa Kirby in the months to come. Pieces of a Woman is an arresting, often taxing watch, but few actors have delivered a performance as utterly overwhelming as Kirby portraying Martha, a grieving mother processing the loss of her baby. The filmmaking team (Mundruczo and Weber share a “film by” credit) zoom in on deep, jagged pain, and tease out some of the most affecting moments put to screen this year. Jack calls the film “an intensely intimate depiction of mental and marital deterioration caused by tragedy” and nods to master Howard Shore’s “subtle yet potent” score. It’s poetry in motion, with stunning turns from Shia LaBeouf, Ellen Burstyn, Sarah Snook and Benny Safdie also. But proceed with caution: “this film will destroy you”, Alisha Tabilin warns. —EK
Underplayed Directed by Stacey Lee. On the festival circuit. Seen at: TIFF. (Also recommended in our music movies round-up.)
Women-in-the-workplace movies aren’t usually this banging. Stacey Lee’s documentary Underplayed focuses on one corner of the still wildly sexist music industry—the dance-music scene—and lays out both the facts and feelings regarding why women still, always, deserve better. A number of key names guide the story—Rezz, Alison Wonderland, Nervo, TokiMonsta—giving the viewer a taste of what we’re missing out on while booking the same old men, over and over. And it’s not just because of the stats or the injustices that this is a must-watch: in times of limited social interaction and when the feeling of an adrenaline-fuelled crowd feels like a foggy memory, Lee captures some truly electric moments of these women thriving, captivating thousands of music lovers at once. “Buy yourself good speakers and turn them up because this movie is fun and it deserves it,” writes Matt Brown, and he’s absolutely correct. Underplayed is essential and exciting. The most entertaining education of the year. —EK
Another Round Directed by Thomas Vinterburg, written by Vinterburg and Tobias Lindholm. Awaiting new UK date due to lockdown. In US cinemas soon. Seen at: TIFF, LFF.
Another Round reunites filmmaker Thomas Vinterberg with his muse Mads Mikkelsen, in a lads-on-tour buddy movie, except the lads are four middle-aged high-school teachers, and the tour features a very casual, very constant level of intoxication each man commits to in the name of a social experiment. What could possibly go wrong, you ask? Plenty, naturally—but Vinterberg marries the slapstick moments of bumbling drunks falling over themselves with more mature, poignant scenes that question just how far you can or should go to feel that little bit more alive. There’s a lot to love here, but if we’re being very precise, it’s “rock-solid proof that Mads Mikkelsen is one of our greatest actors,” says Karen Han. Come for the wise, contemplative study of youth and spontaneity, stay for rock-solid proof that Mads Mikkelsen is also, somehow, one of our greatest contemporary dancers. —EK
One Night in Miami Directed by Regina King, adapted by Kemp Powers from his own stage play. In select US theaters December 25, coming to Amazon Prime Video January 15, 2021. Seen at: TIFF, NYFF.
Ladies and gentleman, Regina King has arrived. The actor wastes nothing in her feature directorial debut, bringing to the screen Kemp Powers’ vivid stage play of the same name with a heavyweight cast of greats. Kingsley Ben-Adir, Eli Goree, Aldis Hodge and Leslie Odom Jr. are Malcolm X, Cassius Clay (before he took the name Muhammad Ali), Jim Brown and Sam Cooke respectively, as the four men celebrate Clay’s victory over Sonny Liston in February 1964, during One Night in Miami. Rachel Wagner notes how “they all feel like friends and have chemistry, but each with a unique perspective”. This chemistry comes from King’s perfect alchemy of mood, design and structure; she lets her men speak, but her voice is never lost. “Queen King never wavers on her vision until every bit of flesh is torn off each man,” Ben notes, admiring a film that shines for all its famous faces, but stands the test of time for its rich, piercing empathy for every other one waiting in the shadows. —EK
Supernova Written and directed by Harry Macqueen. Awaiting UK and Ireland release due to lockdown; in select US theaters January 29, 2021. Seen at: BFI London Film Festival.
Colin Firth at his very best, Stanley Tucci losing his grip on himself, the luscious Lake District and endless cozy, delicious, warm knitwear. Supernova is every bit as beautiful as it sounds, but also packs a major punch when it comes to mapping a lifelong love story, and the cost of loyalty and pride when you’re fighting against pain nobody can control. As Sam and Tusker, devoted to one another for decades, come to terms with Tusker’s diagnosis of early on-set dementia, there is as much care and sadness as is to be expected, but it still feels brand new and cuts deep. Every good love story is its own. Director Harry Macqueen and his two shining stars understand this better than anyone. —EK
French Exit Directed by Azazel Jacobs, written by Patrick DeWitt. Scheduled for US release January 21, 2021. Seen at NYFF.
Armed with acerbic wit and sharpened claws, Michelle Pfeiffer delivers a vulnerable close-to-career-best performance in French Exit as a mother free-falling from wealth and reconciling with her son, an expertly cold Lucas Hedges. What appears to be formal and dry (“rich white-people stuff”, blegh) is actually wonderfully weird and surprisingly spiritual. There’s a divisive scene at the half-way point that instantly unroots the movie from any grounding we assumed it had established. In any other film, it would open up an entire world of possibilities, but French Exit decidedly treats it as matter-of-fact in order to focus on the emotional journey. It’s the decisive moment—you’re on its wavelength, or you’re overboard—and the rewards for staying aboard are plentiful. Patrick DeWitt’s adaptation of his own novel is in good hands with director Azazel Jacobs. —JM
Still Processing Directed by Sophy Romvari. On the festival circuit. Seen at: TIFF.
A final, honorable mention for Sophy Romvari’s Still Processing, the highest-rated short film out of TIFF, and an excavation of grief like no other. “You’ve got to watch this one twice,” writes Martyn. “First viewing to just weep every two to three minutes. Second viewing to really appreciate how great it is.”
#tiff#tiff20#tiff2020#toronto international film festival#nomadland#chloe zhao#wolfwalkers#cartoon saloon#bfi#bfi london film festival#nyff#nyff2020#filmlinc#film at lincoln center#New York Film Festival#film festival#best of 2020#2020 best#best films of 2020#letterboxd
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-my interpretation of the devil Tarot card - ( παρουσιάστηκε στα πλαισια του φεμινιστικου φεστιβαλ " witches are back" forte prenestino, rome , february 2020). Eυελπιστω τουτη η παρουσιασις να συμβει και στην ελλαδα φιλες :)
sneakpeak : -In a dis-enchanted world, Weber argues, ‘the ultimate and most sublime values have retreated from public life. The “magical, mysterious, incalculable forces” give way to calculation, scientific rationalism and bureaucracy. Βut can someone today speak of the New Age in terms of a re-enchantment of the world; a ‘return’ of magic, mystery and - in particular - the non - or – irrational. -(...) The oldest extant tarot decks were from northern Italy and were dated to the first half of the fifteenth century, with the “Visconti di Modrone deck” more likely to be considered as the oldest extant tarot pack. There are plenty other, more unlike theories about the origins of tarot decks but the most persistent and entertaining one envisioned the deck arising from the mysterious land of Egypt at a time lost in the mists of antiquity. -(...)Tarot pictures refer to the whole gamut of human experiences, and the hermeneutics of Tarot allows us to evaluate experience and to learn from it. The Tarot system is not illogical or irrational, even if it is traditionally perceived as such and can easily appear as belonging to the category of the “monster.”Monster is at once a signifier for the breakdown of boundaries but also indicates the taboo against the breaking of such boundaries of common sense or socio-political realities alike. Such a “no-man’s land” (Deleuze and Guattari) – that nonetheless is embodied in the layout of images – is indeed located in-between habitual categories of dualistic discourse. -(...)Jung conceptualised the archetypes of the collective unconscious as "primordial, original images engraved in our psychic constitution.” As pictorial artefacts, Tarot images embody the patterns of thoughts, affects, emotions, feelings and behaviors implicit in collective experiences and social events that transcend times, places, language barriers, and disparate beliefs and values. -(...)The traditional semiotics of the card number XV presents an image of the Devil. For Jung, the concept of Shadow describes a cluster of impulses, complexes, shameful and unacknowledged desires, self-indulgences and being a slave to one’s own primitive instincts. Sexual compulsion, poor impulse control and low frustration tolerance are some behavioral signs that may manifest in real life under the unconscious influence of this archetype. At the collective level, the Shadow encompasses those outside “the norm” of the established order and social system.(...)If femme sexuality is seen as evil dark and immoral , women have to make this “evil” conscious .
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ISLAM 101: Muslim Culture and Character: Embracing The World:
UNIVERSAL MERCY AND EDUCATION
The adage nowadays is that we all need love. So many people are talking about this. Islam teaches us that God’s act of creating humanity was an act of mercy and compassion. Compassion represents the love between parents and children as well as that between children and parents. However, universal love can best be seen through all elements of the universe working together with each other for the benefit of all life.
Humanists proclaim that their philosophy is founded upon love. However, humanism does not encompass specific ethical values, is based upon personal interest or bias, and is far down the continuum toward insincerity. Humanism is abstract, out of balance, and sometimes appears to be working on the behalf of particular nations, languages, and belief systems. In reality, Prophets were ideal examples of love and mercy, for their approach to love and mercy was based on being balanced in this life and the Hereafter. Muhammad, the final Prophet, was sent by God’s Mercy and, metaphorically, is like a spring of pure water in a hot desert. This spring, infused with the limitless resource of love, can quench any degree of thirst and purify and enlighten any drinker who pauses to drink from it.
The Prophet’s compassion
Mercy and compassion is like a magic key that opens the hearts that were so hard that no one thought they would ever be opened. But the Prophet did even more than this: He lit the torch of belief in God within them. Believers, hypocrites, unbelievers, and all beings and creatures benefited from His mercy. Believers were rewarded because the Qur’an states: …ardently anxious is he over you: to the Believers is he most kind and merciful (9/128) and: The Prophet has a greater claim on the believers than they have on their own selves (33:6).
This is true, because the Prophet, the representative of Divine compassion, is definitely nearer to us than we are to ourselves. Although the desires of the flesh may lead us astray, the Prophet always responds with mercy, kindness, and sympathy. For example, he said: ‘Whoever leaves an inheritance, it belongs to his relations. Whoever dies with debt, it belongs to me’.(1) Can one imagine greater sympathy?
His compassion embraced hypocrites so that they would be shielded from worldly torment. He knew who the hypocrites were but never exposed them, for this would have deprived them of the full citizenship rights that their outward profession of faith and practice allowed them to enjoy. Living among Muslims, their rights to belong and believe differently were held in compassionate regard. This greatly reduced their anxieties about their assertions of unbelief in the Afterlife.
Even the unbelievers benefited from his compassion. God did not destroy the unbelievers, although He had done so in the past, for: God would never chastise them while you were among them (8:33). This verse refers to unbelievers of all times. God will not destroy people as long as believers are alive. In a related statement, he proclaimed: ‘I was sent to people as a mercy, not to curse them.’(2) In other words, he came with mercy, not with condemnation and a desire to invoke calamity upon them.
The Prophet was particularly compassionate toward children. He played with them, would sit beside them when they were crying, and listened to them. He empathized with a mother’s pain, saying: ‘One without pity for others is not pitied.’(3) Once he told a man who boasted that he had never played with his children or showed them his love: ‘What can I do for you if God has removed compassion from your heart?’.(4) His compassion even extended to animals. While in Mina, some Companions tried to kill a snake. Watching the activity from afar, the Prophet stated: ‘It was saved from your evil, and you were saved from its evil.’(5) Even though the snake is a lowly reptile, it plays a vital role in the environmental balance. The Prophet further stated: ‘ A prostitute was guided by God’s truth and ultimately went to paradise because she gave water to a dog dying of thirst in the desert.’(6)
Educating others is active compassion
The Prophet, fully aware that moving his people away from their idolatry and barbarism and toward Islam and success in both this life and the eternal afterlife, emphasized education and literacy. He understood what his contemporaries did not: The main duty and purpose of human life is to seek understanding. The effort of doing so, known as education, is a perfecting process through which we earn, in the spiritual, intellectual, and physical dimensions of our beings, the rank appointed for us as the perfect pattern of creation. Education through learning and a commendable way of life is a sublime duty that manifests the Divine Name Rabb (Upbringer and Sustainer). By fulfilling it, we attain the rank of true humanity and become a beneficial element of society.
Right decisions depend on having a sound mind and being capable of sound thought. Science and knowledge illuminate and develop the mind. For this reason, a mind deprived of science and knowledge cannot reach right decisions, is always exposed to deception, and is subject to being mislead.
We are only truly human if we learn, teach, and inspire others. It is difficult to regard those who are ignorant and without the desire to learn as truly human. It is also questionable whether learned people who do not renew and reform themselves in order to set an example for others are truly human. Status and merit acquired through knowledge and science are higher and more lasting than those obtained through other means.
Given the great importance of learning and teaching, we must determine what is to be learned and taught, and when and how to do so. Although knowledge is a value in itself, the purpose of learning is to make knowledge a guide in life and illuminate the road to human betterment. Thus, any knowledge not appropriated for the self is a burden to the learner, and a science that does not direct one toward sublime goals is a deception.
#allah#god#islam#muslim#quran#revert#convert#convert islam#revert islam#reverthelp#revert help#revert help team#help#islamhelp#converthelp#prayer#salah#muslimah#reminder#pray#dua#hijab#religion#mohammad#new muslim#new revert#new convert#how to convert to islam#convert to islam#welcome to islam
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When we consider the whole universe with stars, planets, space, etc., man is smaller than a sand grain. Why is the Sublime Creator, who created all of them, interested in man so much? Prophets, books, Paradise, hell, etc. exist for us.
Allah Almighty, who is the maker of the universe and the beings in it, created this universe for very important purposes. The Quran states the following:
"Not for (idle) sport did We create the heavens and the earth and all that is between." (al-Anbiya, 21/16)
"Not without purpose did We create heaven and earth and all between..." (Sad, 38/27)
All beings glorify and sanctify the Sublime Creator with the languages peculiar to them. They fulfill the duty given to them with great pleasure and enthusiasm. For instance, the sun moves in the orbit designed for it without delaying even for a second. Rivers flow into seas with enthusiasm. The animals put under man’s order serve him obediently.
Human beings and jinn have a different place among those beings, who fulfill divine orders. They are held responsible as the following verse states:
"I have only created Jinn and men, that they may serve Me." (adh-Dhariyat, 51/56)
However, they are free to do it or not. This different position of humans and jinn originate from the will given to them. They can choose belief or unbelief, good or bad, nice and ugly, obedience and disobedience with that will.
The phrase “mithal al-musaghghar” is used for man in Nur Collection; that is, the minimized sample of the universe. The minimization is used in such a wonderful form in the realm that this wonderful realm retains its current state but small realms that represent it are filtered from it. The hand of power that filters the tree and compresses it in the fruit places so many realms in man.
Man summarizes a book that he reads. This summary is a small sample of the book. However, if you say, “Write that book again with the help of the summary”, he will not be able to do it. However, is a seed like that? When you put it in the ground, it can give you the whole tree again.
The verse related to the trust (amanah) is as follows:
“We did indeed offer (present) the Trust to the Heavens and the Earth and the Mountains; but they refused to undertake it, being afraid thereof: but man undertook it;- He was indeed unjust and foolish.” (al-Ahzab, 33/72)
Amanah lexically means being reliable, something entrusted to a person to keep (to protect). The opposite of being reliable is being treacherous. That is, not to protect the entrusted thing and to use it as one’ soul wishes, not as the person who entrusted it.
Terminologically amanah is defined in a few different ways. The most common of them are as follows:
“All of the religious obligations”, “fards”, “orders of Islam”, “every boon entrusted to man”, “mind”, “ability to be a vicegerent on earth.”
A light from the sun of the Quran:
“On no soul doth Allah Place a burden greater than it can bear.” (al-Baqara, 2/286)
One of those souls is the eye; it was not given the duty of hearing. Another one is the ear; it was not given the duty of understanding. The spirit of the sheep was not given the duty of meditating; mountains and stones were not given the duty of giving light. Every being was given a duty based on the ability given to it. The human spirit has important differences from the other beings. He was left free to fulfill the duty given to him. The reason why he is unjust and foolish is the fact that he uses this partial free will in a wrong way and puts it under the command of his soul.
The Trust is given to a being that has will. You cannot say, “I have entrusted the money to the safe” for the money that you put in the safe. It means lifeless beings cannot be entrusted things. Angels are not much different from them. They are given duties based on orders, not based on offers.
In the verse related to the Trust, it is stated that the Trust was “presented” (aradna) to the earth and the mountains, not “offered” (iqtarahna). If they had been offered, they could not have refused it. A king presents a duty to a solider that has been summoned to his presence. For instance, he asks the soldier, “Can you work as a scribe?” The solider apologizes to the king and says, “Unfortunately, I cannot read and write; if I could, I would definitely fulfill your order.” This offer is not like “Bring me some water.” Any soldier can bring water but not all soldiers can work as a scribe.
In the verse related to the Trust, Allah Almighty presented a duty to the sky, earth and mountains. He presented a Trust to them. We cannot know the nature of this presenting but we cannot regard their refusing to undertake this duty as disobedience. The duty presented to them is not something that they can fulfill with their ability, nature and power. However, the state of man’s nature, the organs and talents given to him are suitable for that duty. As a matter of fact, he undertook the Trust that the skies refused.
What is this duty? Badiuzzaman Said Nursi indicates in the Eleventh Truth of the Hashr Booklet that this Trust is “man’s talent” and explains this duty given to that talent as follows: “To measure and know, with his slight and petty measures and crafts, the all encompassing attributes, the universal workings, and the infinite manifestations of the Creator.”
Let us explain it with his own example:
“Just as I make this house and know how to make it, and I see it and own it and administer it, so the mighty palace of the universe has a Maker. Its Maker knows it, sees it, makes it, administers it. And so on...”
Thus, the skies, earth and mountains could not undertake the duty of knowing Allah’s endless attributes and deeds by making the comparison above and similar ones since they did not have the ability to do it.
Reporters do not follow an ordinary citizen. However, they follow the people of high ranks like the prime minister like a shadow, observe what they do and record anything they say. Similarly, everything that man, who is the vicegerent on earth, does and says is recorded by angels.
#Allah#god#islam#quran#muslim#revert#convert#revert islam#convert islam#reverthelp#revert help#revert help team#help#islam help#converthelp#prayer#salah#muslimah#reminder#pray#dua#hijab#religion#mohammad#new muslim#new convert#new revert#how to convert to islam#convert to islam#welcome to islam
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