#a man must look his best at his wedding and funeral

[maxsix]

The High Table: A John Wick Verse. Introducing Seo Changbin.

[gremlingottoosilly]

The Horror and the Wild [Emperor!Konig x fem!Reader]

It's time for the wedding - and the wedding night. Emperor is going to make sure you will bear his offsprings by the end of the night. Tags and TW: Dub-con, aphrodisiacs, power imbalance, breeding kink, size difference, loss of virginity, age difference(Konig in his forties, Reader in her twenties), medieval/fantasy AU, Konig is a pervert AND an evil dictator AO3

You weren’t saved from the humiliation of a public wedding. 

You weren’t saved the torture of picking the flowers as you were choosing the attire to your own funeral – and you weren’t saved your innocence by allowing yourself to ignore all the handmaidens and their horrible, disgusting picture books about penetration, pools of blood and hell that is saved between the legs of a man. 

“My condolences, dear princess. For your parents. And congratulations on your wedding. Our deepest hopes go to your coronation, Empress.” “From the king of South, we send our sheerest condolences. And congratulations on the wedding.” “May your parents rest in peace. And glory to the Emperor.” “Grief surely suits you, Dear Empress. As well as the crown.”

You think you might puke right in your royal garments, looking at all of the royal visitors. 

King Price of Southern Kingdom, with all of his knights – you do not know if you can find solace in the girl clinging to the hand of his masked knight, the stench of death filling you with calmness that you don’t know how to deal with. The girl is terrified, just like you – if you may, you’re probably the same age, that years of servitude grazing in the hands that are covered by the sheerest amounts of gloves. 

The lady – you don’t know her name, and you doubt that any woman in this hall is even allowed to have one other than her husband’s – is looking at you with understanding. You think you might actually die. 

— Lady Ryley? 

She smiles, and before you can go to her – hold her hands, ask her to disappear with you, maybe run away somewhere, you don’t even know where – the masked knight already drags her away, a firm hand on her shoulder. You’re alone, the weight of the royal robe is pinning you to the floor. 

You are dressed in black as the only form of rebellion – guests must assume you’re still mourning your parents, the grief in their eyes is mixed with congratulations on the Empire finally getting prospects of offspring – you hope you’d tore your womb from your body before König could lay his hands on you. Guests may assume that the wedding is a tab bit strange, maybe somewhat unusual for the emperor to marry someone of your status – tiny kingdom, no worthwhile resources, and almost zero prospects for trade. Maybe, you were the only treasure this kingdom ever had to sell so eagerly. 

König holds your hands because you know that you would try to run the second he is letting you go. You know he knows this, too. Guests may assume that he is being protective of his young wife – assassins aren’t unheard of in these places, after all, you were the empress now. The much smarter guests knew what kind of looks you gave him – perhaps, you had the best options at killing the notorious emperor right after he robbed you of the last remains of your dignity. 

You smile and wave like a damned pampered pigeon, pretty and useless, all dressed up in bows and black pearls, dark stones illuminating the depths of your despair – only the monster you had for a husband would even consider ordering a mourning dress this beautiful. You’re almost ashamed of wanting to paint it red – you almost feel bad while holding the butter knife and thinking about plunging it into your chest, ripping away all the delicate laces and ornaments that cut through your skin each time you breathe a bit too freely. 

— You look divine in this dress, meine Liebe. 

He smiles, you know he is – he didn’t forget about his damn hood even on his own wedding, but he holds you dearly, but he smiles with his eyes, an eerie sense of happiness that makes every guest shake in their seats. The Ruler of the Empire doesn’t smile. Not at his wife, who looks like she would rather kill herself, for sure – but he smiles as you say your wows, knowing full well you are not going to fulfill them, but he laughs when the priest stutters once you refused to say you do the first time – König has to squeeze your hands, reminding you of your place. Even your stubbornness has a limit, apparently. 

His lips are dry and chastity. 

König knows he can’t kiss you like he wants to – too many guests, too many pricks, thinking they have a look on his wife. If it weren’t for the admirers and desperate rulers of foreign lands, trying to force their songs and daughters to marry him out of a pathetic attempt at saving their countries, he wouldn’t even think about a public wedding. If it weren’t for the annoyance of constantly swatting the offers away, he would never allow the world to see you. Not how beautiful you look, not how pretty your eyes are, glistening with tears, not how much he just wanted to smother you with affection like there isn’t anyone around. 

Hells, if he knew so many people would accept the short notice for an invitation, he would invade their kingdoms while they were away at his wedding. 

König holds your face in his hands, the contrast between soft skin and his gloves is making you shiver – he pushes his hood up, even just for a little bit, and the only thing that is ever revealed to the audience is the scars on his chin and sudden dryness of his lips. He thought he overcame his childish anxiety when he was still a tiny bird stuck in his adolescence – but he looks at you, his pretty little princess, and his hands are shaking from the anticipation of a kiss. 

The guests will assume you’re crying because you love him so, so much. 

The Emperor knows better, kissing the tears from your lips like it was the sweetest treat around. 

*** You thought you were smart.

You really did. 

Such a slick motion, such an easy task – the girl coming with Knight Riley, the weak one, with trembling hands and face that spoke of innocence of lambs and with calloused hands of a fellow worker, took your hand as you were leaving. The veil of laughs and jokes about finally conceiving a worthy heir for the empire made you shiver from horror – and the girl swatted you to her side, a single sleight of hand putting…something in your palms. 

Some sort of plant – dried, smelling of something sweet and edible, flowers that would feel crispy on your tongue. She smiles softly, her hands are gentle on yours – she whispers in your ear before your respective monsters can catch you and throw you in their layers again. 

She said, it was mercy. 

She said, it would make -it- feel quick and easy. 

You hoped, it was a poison. 

It had to be, you wouldn’t accept anything else – the desire to die and fulfill the destiny of a loyal servant, the whispers of the god of dignified death – you may not see the sweetness of the afterlife with your Princess, but killing oneself to save their bodies from being violated is a worthy fate for any. You pushed the plant in your mouth as swiftly as possible, chewing on the dried grass and crispy flowers, hoping the effect would be immediate. 

You’re bathed and oiled like a pig for devour, short for the apple stuffed in your mouth – instead, you have forced a mouthful of wine, goblets after goblets. To ease the tension of the first night, the servants said, smiling understandably. You feel warm, you feel dizzy, you feel hellishly feverish, and it couldn’t be just from the alcohol – you close your eyes and hope that the plant took its way finally, releasing you from the shell of the mortal life. You’re dressed up in pretty garments, skimpy as something that the empress should never wear – you feel like a cheap whore when your skin is glossy with oils and decorated with flowers. 

Just before you started chewing on them too, your husband finally arrived. 

You hoped you’d be dead before ever seeing him naked again – but you’re forced to watch his muscles tense as the only thing saving his lack of dignity is the smallest ever piece of undergarments. It doesn’t help in hiding his arousal, the monstrosity between his legs. You knew you would have to die before he is ever putting anything in you – but you see the outline of his manhood, poking from the side of a simple cloth, and somehow, you feel hotter than before. 

You blame it on the wine, you blame it on the poison you took. The warmness is spreading in your tummy to your lower areas, forcing its way to moisture your garments, a wet spot, embarrassingly big for an Empress, is slowly spreading between your oiled, scented legs. You’re nothing but a feast for him, a pretty little snack – you knew how much he liked to eat, after all. What great talent he had in forcing your legs apart and showing his head between them, that sinful tongue of his speaking of prayers and soft little blasphemies in the sweetness of your maidenhood. 

— You’re burning, little princess. 

You hoped it’s the poison working. 

For a second, he placed his hand on your forehead and caressed it softly, accessing your temperature. For a second, the cold of his hands made you nuzzle into his palm like a cat that was fed nothing but the finest pieces of meat by the hand that was ready to skin it for its skin. For a second, you hoped that his embrace alone would be enough to kill you. 

If you die, which you must do, you wish it would be with his hands holding you softly. 

— A virgin fewer? I thought you’d know what we’re going to do by now, little prin…

— Don’t stop be from dying. 

You let go of those words before you could claim your silence. 

König’s hands are grasping you immediately, a finger lays in your mouth, making you gag – you open your lips from instinct, no matter how much you want to stop him from ever entering your mouth. He is weirdly smooth with you, the other hand going to grab your waist and press you on the bed – like you ever had a chance to stand against him and run away. Like he didn’t have a row of guards just outside the door. 

— Dying? Scheisse, dumme What did you do? 

He quickly grasped your tongue, the traces of the flower still lingered on your teeth, on the further corners of your mouth – you didn’t know if you had to spit it out or eat it whole, and you didn’t want to guess in the matters of death and loss of dignity. You gag on his fingers as he laughs – an unusual sound. First, the smiles and happiness in his voice, the rings and chains he put you in, and now laugh? Perhaps you died already, and this is your eternal damnation. 

— Let go of me! You have no…

— Were you still so scared, Liebling? 

— I wasn’t…what do you mean, Your Highness? 

The title is good, the title puts some distance between you and him. Only imaginary – he is still as close as possible, hands on your body, wiping the traces of the flowers on the silk sheets and holding you in his embrace again, as tight as he possibly can. You feel ill, you feel hot, every time he puts his hands on you, you can feel your core throbbing, the poison making you dizzy and dumb. 

You almost feel like begging him to touch you again – and again, and again. König, for one, can’t wait to watch. 

— I wonder where you got it. Such a clever Katzen, ja? Eating aphrodisiacs before her wedding night, like I would just mount you like an animal without preparing my wife? 

He laughs and laughs, hand in your hair, petting you gently like you truly were a cat. You’re dumbfounded, the fewer makes everything make less and less sense. You close your eyes, you open your eyes – you feel him on you. Looking, watching, observing, you want him to stop, and you want him to rip away those stupid garments and touch you, as he did in that dim hallway, to push his masterful, sinful tongue down your folds and treat you like a…

You whimper as you fell on the sheets, truly embracing the cat in-heat stance you were for the last few minutes. You roll on the sheets, smooth silk makes your core cool just a bit, the pressure only building with each time you try to hump the sheets, not caring anymore if you were behaving like an animal. 

Perhaps, the Knight’s maiden really wanted to make everything easier for you – just in her own way. 

— Wh…what have you done to me? 

He is bracing his hands between your legs, lingering touches on the wetness of your garments, making you both shiver in anticipation. He is forcing his tongue on you, the immediate pressure making you meow from the sensation. You hate it, you hate it, you have to hate it because if you don’t, then what the hell are you even doing. It’s too much and too little, it does nothing to relief the warmth between your legs, only making you wetter with each stroke of his wide, warm tongue. — I haven’t done anything, little princess. You just want me. 

— I would never want you. 

— I can stop. 

You snap your legs around his neck before he can withdraw his face. 

König is laughing, the sheer adorableness of your expression making him want you even more. You look perfect, so lost in desire for him – gods, he just wanted to devour you, to strip you of all you worth and make you his just as much as he is yours. But simply pleasing you with his tongue won’t ever be enough for this night – he had waited for so long, too long, disgustingly long, he had to have you in every way possible. If he won’t consummate the marriage today, he might as well just die. 

Other night, he will make you beg – plead for him to give you his cock, push the throbbing member in your trembling folds, snap the pleasure from your hands and force you to accept being his wife. The other night, he could wait and tease you for as long as possible. The other night…

He doesn’t have the patience for this night – he can’t even kiss you now, the mere feeling of your trembling lips would snap him beyond repair. It’s unfair to you, little princess, his desire is too much for someone like you to take – alas, he has to have you. Alas, he will have you, one way or the other, even if he’d have to push your pretty head into the pillows and force his manhood between your folds. 

But you plead for him, the desire in your eyes, mixed with fear and anticipation, is enough for him to laugh again, his hand squeezing your chest. You look divine, absolutely – you would look even better when properly bred, tits full of milk, and belly swollen with his little soldiers. Emperor never thought of getting an offspring, always knew his fate was to fall into obscurity with the country he created, but you have wide hips, a soft belly, and warm hands – all the requirements of a mother. But you have the submissiveness of a pet and the wit of a wife. 

But he can’t wait to push his seed into you – with a groan, before you could even lay your eyes on his cock, he is already forcing it in, ravaging all the resistance you once had. 

The plant made you warm, aroused, and wet enough to be dripping when he first pushed his cockhead between your glistening folds. You cry, the feeling of being intruded, ravaged, bot entirely painful, but now very pleasant either, is nothing you were expecting of the first night with your husband. You were expecting screaming, pools of blood, half of your organs falling out from the newly made hole between your legs. 

You just feel…intruded. The knot in your stomach is as tight as ever, even as König gives you a few minutes to adjust, the outline of his manhood throbbing in your tummy. You don’t even want to look at him, and he allows you to drift into a trance, the aphrodisiac you took doing all the job of preparation for him. 

He is feeling you, raw and sensitive, your maidenhood is dripping down your thighs and his cock as he wasn’t exactly gentle – he will be the next night, and the night after, and after, he will promise to take care of you, little princess, but this night is about taking what belongs to him – and he will never allow you to keep your dignity when you can simply be his dumb, adorable wife. 

— You’re so…heavens, princess, you’re strangling me. 

He laughs, struggling to push in and out, his hand finding its place on your folds, playing and tugging with your swollen little clit. The bud is wet, no matter the pain you’re experiencing – the drug won’t allow you to stop wanting it, wanting him, König knows it’s not genuine, he has to work to make you this aroused, but for now, it will work. He doesn’t want you to feel pain – and he will make sure you’re able to take him. 

— Too much, it’s…stop, wait, I am…

— You can take it, Schatzi. 

— I can’t! — You will. 

You whimper under him, you cry under him, he only continues to move, tearing your loyalty to your kingdom with each harsh thrust. You came to this room wanting to die, but now you feel your hands wrapping around his neck, your hips buckling to meet his, to bring the overcoming pleasure like König isn’t the one to tear you apart – you feel raw, you feel tainted, the pleasure in your folds is nothing what you ever had before. 

You’re betraying yourself with each moan and each whimper – you find yourself begging for him, the tears of yours is not just from pain anymore. He kisses you, rough lips on your mouth, making sure you’re as prepared for him as he is, you want for him to stop, but you plead with him to continue. 

— Stop already…I…

— I only came twice, little princess. And you – trice. Doesn’t feel fair, ja? — ‘s not, I can’t take it anymore…

— I will breed you, Schatzen. Until you’re swollen with my sons. — It w…won’t be royal children…

— Ach, my blood is enough to make a dog royal. — But…

— I will breed you, little princess. You can stop pretending you don’t want it.

You’re not even sure at what orgasm you are already – you feel like he came already, the wetness in your cunt should be evident of his already breeding you quite a few times, but the time is a blur when every time you cum, your vision blurs and your brain becomes foggier and foggier. 

König knows you will look perfect, all thoughtless and swollen with his children – not now, maybe, with a few elixirs to enhance your ability to bear children, but he can’t wait till you’re done. You might not like it at first, princesses do tend to be just a bit dumb when it comes to their duties, but there is something in your eyes that is telling him you’re going to bring him sons just like a good girl you are. Just like he expects you to do, your pretty tummy all swollen, and your body is barely handling the passion of his lovemaking. Gods, he knew you would be worth it. Even if, to his knowledge, you’re not a princess at all.

[marvelmusing]

In Another Life

Part Fourteen

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x Alternate Universe!Reader

Summary: Ravka’s seat of power changes, and Aleksander makes a discovery that sends you both north in search of his sister.

Warnings: mentions of canon level violence, spoilers for the Language of Thorns.

A/N: since there’s only one short story with Ulla which was set when she was young - my version of her is very much my own interpretation for this fic (but I hope you guys like her).

My Masterlist • Series Masterlist • Next Part

It rains on the day of the King’s funeral.

As Vasily’s betrothed, you stand beside him in your uniform, made black for the sombre occasion. He doesn’t look at you, and you don’t speak for the entirety of the service.

Considering the fact that your country is at war, a colossal amount of money must have been spent on the King’s funeral. The wake in particular is extremely extravagant, with a large banquet spread out that very few of the guests eat from.

The entire day feels like an awful waste. Of time, money, resources. The people’s tears even, are wasted on a man who didn’t care for them.

Aleksander spends most of his time being hounded by older First Army officials who treat him like a boy, while they attempt to win his favour to take Zlatan’s position. Occasionally you will lock eyes with him, and the two of you will share a knowing look - endure it.

You spend a lot of your time consoling the Queen alongside Nikolai. Vasily makes himself scarce at the first opportunity, and you don’t see him again for the rest of the day.

After the King’s funeral, an official ten days of mourning begin. The war doesn’t stop for mourning, and neither do you and Aleksander. Locked away in his war room, you plan out your next campaigns along the frontlines and pray that this will be the final push before you bring down the Fold.

On the third day of mourning, Nikolai travels to Caryeva to see his brother under the guise of brotherly solidarity. You know why he’s actually going, and can only hope that he succeeds. Otherwise you will need to plan for a wedding, or faking your death and asking Genya to tailor your face.

When you hear of Nikolai’s return, you expect him to call on you. But he doesn’t. He settles into the Grand Palace, and attends to his mother. You decide to leave them be for the rest of the mourning period.

You’re in Court the moment Vasily’s abdication is announced. There’s a few sentences at the end of the announcement that dissolve any agreements he made as the Crown Prince - rather pointedly referring to your engagement.

Fiddling with the emerald on your finger, you can feel the eyes on you as the announcement ends, and the repercussions begin to sink in. If you had been in love with Vasily, this would have been mortifying. Even now, you feel an embarrassed flush creep down your neck.

Nikolai appears at your side, taking your arm and steering you through the crowd. You do your best to look increasingly upset, and by the time you’re leaving the main hall a tear has fallen down your cheek.

Once you’re finally alone you drop your facade, and can’t help but throw your arms around him with delight.

“You did it.”

He chuckles, his arms settling around your waist.

“You doubted me?”

You roll your eyes as you drawl,

“How could I ever?”

There’s the sound of footsteps, and your eyes widen as Nikolai pulls you closer. Hiding your face against his chest, you do your best to appear distraught by the news of Vasily. He pats the back of your head tenderly, and gives whoever had appeared a firm look that has them retreating quickly.

“It appears I’m both your knight in shining armour, and your shoulder to cry on.”

Tilting your head back, you look up to meet his eyes sparkling with amusement. You smirk before remarking drily,

“My hero.” He grins.

“I give it less than a month before I’m the one giving you that ring.”

His words remind you of the ring still on your finger.

“I should probably give this back.”

As you slide the Lanstov emerald from your hand, you narrow your eyes at him.

“Six weeks until you announce our courtship.”

You curl the ring tightly in your hand, holding it hostage above his open palm until he agrees to your demands. He raises a brow.

“Courtship?”

“A month after that you can propose.”

“If I was truly courting you, we’d be married within the week.”

“I don’t want people to think I’m only after the throne.” You admit quietly.

Nikolai’s expression softens as he coaxes your fingers into releasing the emerald before he says in a low voice.

“Then we should do our best to seem madly in love.” A door opens somewhere nearby, and Nikolai offers you his arm once he’s pocketed the ring. “Shall we?”

You take his arm and the two of you leave through the side door which will lead you back to the Little Palace.

Nikolai is good company. Despite his easygoing and lively personality, he appreciates the quiet as well. He can be serious, and listens to your ideas with genuine interest. Just as he did as Sturmhond.

“Have you told your mother?” You ask him. He lifts a brow.

“Told her what?”

“That you’re Sturmhond.”

He sighs, looking down over the grounds as you continue to walk with his arm in yours.

“I’m not sure how well she would take it.”

“I’m sure you could swing it into your favour. After all, isn’t Sturmhond notorious for winning battles against the Fjerdan Navy?”

The hint of a smirk touches his features.

“I didn’t realise you were such a fan.”

You roll your eyes again, but can’t prevent the warmth flooding over your cheeks at his teasing.

“I don’t think you have to choose between Nikolai and Sturmhond.” You say. “The people would admire you for taking a hands on approach to their fight. You did your military service alongside them, and they respect you for that.”

He tilts his head as he watches you, considering your words thoughtfully.

“You could be a seafarer king.” He grins.

“I quite like the sound of that.”

Once you reach the entrance to the Little Palace, he holds onto your hand as you move to leave. You turn to look at him.

“Five weeks, before I officially court you. Then one month after that I’ll propose.” You nod in agreement, and a smirk tugs at your lips as you tease,

“And if I refuse?” He smiles.

“I don’t think you will. I think we make a good pair.”

You nod, despite the conflict in your heart.

“I think we do.”

Later on in the day, when you’re reading through some reports in the war room, you mention Nikolai’s agreement to Aleksander. He nods slowly in response.

“After his coronation we will journey to Kenst Hjerte.”

Lifting your head up from the pages in front of you, your gaze moves across the table to look at Aleksander.

“Those are the islands north of Fjerda.” You say, and he nods as he adds,

“Where it is rumoured that Sankta Ursula lives.”

Sankta Ursula - the Fjerdan name for Ulla. Your frown deepens and you tilt your head as you look at him with confusion in your eyes.

“We’re visiting your sister?”

The corner of his mouth lifts fondly, as he begins to explain,

“The heart of Sankt Feliks was stolen from his monastery by a monk several centuries ago.”

Hope fills you. If Aleksander is telling you this, he must believe he can find it. You stand from your chair, and move over to stand beside Aleksander as he looks down at a map detailing the Fjerdan coastline.

“The monk travelled north into Fjerda, and when he returned he was one of the richest men in Ravka.”

“How?”

“Ulla deals in bargains. She gives ambitious people whatever they desire, as long as they offer in return whatever it is they hold most dear.”

“He gave her the heart of Sankt Feliks.”

Aleksander nods.

“The symbol of his faith, in exchange for earthly riches.”

“He doesn’t sound like a very good monk.”

Aleksander’s smile returns as he breathes out a small laugh. You look down at the shape of the islands of Kenst Hjerte - the broken heart - tracing your fingers over the outline of them.

“Does your sister do family discounts?” You ask, worried at the thought of giving up what you hold most dear.

Aleksander slips an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side.

“She will help us.”

»»---------------------►

Two days after Nikolai’s coronation, you and Aleksander take a small ship up to the collection of islands to the north of Fjerda. The ship is one of Sturmhond’s, and you’re not flying the Ravkan flag as you sail around the coastline of Fjerda.

Whenever you spot sight of land, or any other ships, a sense of anxiety fills you. Being so close to enemy territory has you on edge.

Aleksander had assured you that you would be fine, but the fact that he isn’t wearing his kefta says more about the situation than his assurances.

Luckily your reach the islands of Kenst Hjerte without incident. The crew stay on the ship, as you and Aleksander row out to shore on a small longboat.

Aleksander seems to be familiar with the area, as he leads you through the trees towards a rocky path. He holds onto your hand as you climb over the trail, taking care not to stand on any loose stones that might send you tumbling down.

It’s only once you reach the top of a large hill, that you realise what your destination is.

A small chapel.

The sharp wind whips at your coat, and you step closer to Aleksander as you walk along the cliff top towards the chapel.

There’s some sort of greeting painted above the door, but you can’t read Fjerdan and the faded blue letters are peeling. Aleksander pushes open the door, and you follow him inside.

There’s five rows of benches on either side of you as Aleksander walks down the aisle determinedly. You look around you, it doesn’t look like anyone has visited in quite some time.

“It’s pretty.” You say softly, not wanting to break the delicate silence that hangs around you.

Aleksander hums in acknowledgement as you tilt your head back to look up at the pearls and shells that adorn the ceiling.

“In my world, we have these mythical creatures called sirens, who lure sailors to their deaths with their songs.”

“That sounds rather like Ulla.”

“Good for her.” You remark absently as you continue to admire your surroundings. Then you look at Aleksander with a frown. “What are we doing here?”

“They’ve redecorated in the time since I last visited.” Aleksander muses as his fingers trace over a wooden panel in the wall.

He nudges it carefully, and there’s a click before the panel swings open to reveal a dark tunnel. Aleksander turns back to you with a triumphant look on his face, and he holds a hand out towards you.

You raise an incredulous brow at him, and he breathes out a laugh.

“It’s perfectly safe.”

“Maybe two hundred years ago. How do you know there hasn’t been a collapse in the middle?”

“I suppose we will find out.”

Shaking your head at him, you accept Aleksander’s hand and follow closely behind him as he ducks down into the tunnel.

When the darkness closes in, you tighten your hold on Aleksander’s hand. You feel his shadows around you, guiding you along the uneven ground and steadying you when you wobble.

The sound of water dripping down is what you hear first, then you’re stepping out into a large underground cavern. A thin beam of sunlight falls down from a crack above you, though it doesn’t provide much light.

Despite the lack of light, you still see her. A young woman, with black hair twisted up into intricate braids above her head. She’s sitting in front of a small pool of water, scooping up handfuls of the sparkling liquid and letting it run over her bare arms.

Her skin is a rich bronze, and a web of pale scars weave their way along her arms and up her one side of neck, tracing over the edge of her face on her left side. You had read the story of Sankta Ursula, but Aleksander had told you Ulla’s real story.

Betrayed by her best friend, she was burnt during a forbidden ritual to create fire that would live underwater. In response to the betrayal, she had used her spellsong to summon a fierce storm that had cracked the land in two, creating the island that you are currently standing beneath.

Aleksander moves forward.

It’s only once you get closer to her that you realise she’s humming a tune. A delicate noise that is wholly unlike anything you’ve ever heard before.

“Hello sister.” Aleksander says quietly.

Despite your sudden appearance, she doesn’t startle, and she doesn’t look up as she speaks, her voice rich and smooth.

“I didn’t realise you were due a visit so soon.”

The corner of Aleksander’s lips twitch into a half smile.

“It’s nice to see you too.”

“What do you want?”

“We need your help.”

At that, Ulla looks up and her dark eyes settle on you. She tilts her head aside slightly, watching you carefully for a moment, before her gaze falls back to Aleksander. She raises a singular brow.

“We?” Aleksander ignores her question.

“I need the heart of Sankt Feliks.”

Something like mischief sparkles in her eyes as she turns her attention back to the water, tracing shapes over the surface.

“Do you now?” She muses thoughtfully.

He sighs softly, raising a brow at her.

“Do you have it?” The corner of her mouth twitches with a smirk.

“Perhaps.”

His brows lift even higher, exasperation touching his features and she laughs, a soft yet wicked laugh. Dusting her hands off, she rises and steps towards the two of you.

She’s wearing a dress of deep purple with a torn hem, that hangs from her shoulders by fraying straps, as she cares little for human clothes.

“I have it.” She says.

Aleksander steps forward to follow her as she moves towards a gap in the cavern’s wall. Ulla stops, her hand held up to prevent him from coming any closer.

She raises a dark brow at him.

“You know my rule. I only bargain with mortals.”

The two of them exchange a firm look, and you realise that the siblings share the same stubbornness. Whilst they might have a few centuries spare to win a staring contest, you certainly don’t.

“I’ll go.” You offer, and they both turn to look at you.

Aleksander squeezes your hand firmly, to which you smile and nod in reassurance. Ulla regards you with an unreadable expression and you hold your breath as her dark eyes study your face. Then, without any sort of reaction, she says,

“Follow me.”

She turns away, and you glance over at Aleksander.

“I’ll be fine, Sasha.” You whisper, squeezing his hand one final time before you turn and follow Ulla, deeper into the cavern.

A nervous smile flickers over your lips as she pauses for you to catch up, her dark eyes fixed on your face once again. You aren’t walking for too long until you reach another, much smaller, cavern.

Rocky shelves have been carved into the walls, which stretch almost all the way up to the top, where you can see a glimmer of sunlight shining down to illuminate your every step. On each shelf there’s all manner of objects.

“Wow.” You whisper in pure awe.

Throughout the space, there’s tables and cabinets dotted around, and the whole area looks like an antique store. Ornate chests and pieces of furniture, that look like they’re from a variety of different eras, are scattered about and you wander through them.

Sparkling gems, gold coins and dazzling pieces of jewellery sit in velvet boxes and carved wooden bowls. There’s mountains of books stacked in a few different corners, alongside paintings leaning precariously against some other valuable object.

Ulla seems to know exactly where she’s headed, but you are becoming increasingly distracted. You stop in front of a beautiful looking box.

There’s a delicate painting of a starry night at sea across the lid, deep blues and indigos brightened by the small dots of white starlight. The edges of the box have been adorned with silver embellishments that you’re itching to smooth your fingers over. But you hesitate.

“You can touch, you know.” Ulla remarks indifferently, stepping back to look at the box which had caught your interest. You raise a brow at her.

“It won’t curse my soul for eternity?” A dark smirk spreads over her lips.

“The only thing here that can curse you is me.”

You glance up at her, seeing the sharpness in her eyes, and you swallow nervously.

“Noted.”

She smiles, a little softer.

Picking up the box delicately, you examine the details of the craftsmanship and once you’ve turned it around you notice a windup key at the back. Giving it a few turns, a melodic twang sounds from inside the box, and you set it back down before you open it.

A beautiful, delicate tune sings out from the mechanisms inside.

“It’s lovely.” You say in a soft voice.

“A woman gave me that in exchange for a beauty that could entice any man she wished. I believe it belonged to her sister.”

You frown.

“This is what she held most dear?”

When Aleksander had explained Ulla’s bargains to you, a music box wasn’t the kind of sacrifice you thought someone would make for their greatest ambition.

Ulla shakes her head.

“She stole it from her sister. Breaking the trust between them, and betraying the one she held most dear.”

You close the music box. A beautiful thing, with a meaningful story. Turning back to Ulla, you find her regarding you with that indescribable look once again.

“He must like you.”

You frown in confusion at her words.

“Aleksander.” She adds. “He’s never brought anyone to see me before. Not even one of his Grisha.”

She turns away, heading towards the far end of the cavern. Ducking underneath a string of cobwebs, you follow her.

Ulla reaches under a table, and drags out a rather battered looking chest. The bolts creak as she unlocks it, and the lid swings open with a heavy thump. She tugs out a few garments of clothing before she finds what she’s searching for. What you and Aleksander have been searching for.

The heart of Sankt Feliks.

It’s a dark, solid looking lump. She hands it to you, and it feels more like a large piece of bark than anything else. You try very hard to not think about the fact that this relic is rumoured to have once been an actual human heart.

Ulla nudges the chest back towards its spot under the table with a kick, before she turns back to you.

“I assume you want something in return.” You say, bracing yourself for her demand.

“Look after him.” Tilting your head aside in confusion, you watch as she wipes the dust from a pile of books. “He might be my older brother, but he certainly needs it.”

Your expression softens, and you nod.

“I will. I promise.”

She holds your gaze, her dark eyes so similar to Aleksander’s.

“I’ve learnt that promises mean very little to humans. But if Aleksander trusts you, perhaps I can believe your word.”

»»---------------------►

marvelmusing Tag List: @dreamlandcreations @blanchedelioncourt @idaofinfinity @slytherheign @ellooo0ooo @vixenofcourse @dumb-fawkin-bitch @jane-arthur

In Another Life Tag List: @parabatai-winchester @dangerousbluebirdpoetry @jambolska-grozdova @mxacegrey @budugu @cynthianokamaria @scarlettqueen190 @eloquentree @sharp-cheekbones-locked @sorrow-and-bliss @biblophilefox82 @tartiflvtte @rainbowgoblinfan @savagejane1 @sande5098

Aleksander M Tag List: @nyctophiliiiiaaa @jazmin2211

BB Characters Tag List: @rachlovesactors @noortsshift @aikeia

[raya-hunter01]

Fade Into You Part. 7 Final

Prequel Lights, Camera, Action!

Jey Uso x Black Female OC! (Shantell)

Roman x Black Female OC! Tangela

Solo x Black Female OC! Sofia

Jimmy x Trin

Rating: 18+

Warning: Smut; oral, sex, fluff, masturbation

FADE INTO YOU

Summary: This is the Prequel for Lights, Camera, Action! How does an outburst on your first day lead to a lifelong friendship with the Tribal Chief Roman Reigns and the stands the test of time. How does that friendship introduce you to a special group of people that will become your family. 

When did the lines get blurred between friendship and wanting a relationship with one of your best friends Mr. Main Event Jey Uso. Follow the friendships, and relationships of how they all came to be the one big happy family we all know and love in Lights, Camera, Action.

January 1, 2023

Joe and Tangela’s reception

Jey’s POV

"Wow, Joe must have spent a lot of money on this!" Taraji said loudly looking around as I cringed. Why did I bring her…Better yet, why did I agree to try being a couple? After Shantell’s grandmother’s funeral, we did a couple shows for Raw and Taraji and I ended up tangled back in the sheets again.

Why am I so scared to just ask Shantell out? I mean I’ve had time to get my shit together and I feel I’m ready, but I just can’t take the leap. I don’t want to mess up our friendship.

"Jey, did you hear what I said? I’m about ready to go Taraji," said as I sighed. "Well, I can walk you to your room. Then I'll come back, ''cause' I ain’t ready to leave yet," I said honestly ready to party with my family.

I saw Shantell earlier and she was so beautiful in her gown all the girls were. “I can’t believe they danced to that lewd song," my mom whispered looking over at Shan, Trin, and Sofia as I looked at her funny.

“What are you talking about mama, it wasn’t bad. It was a Beyonce’ song, all they did was choreography from the video,” I said as she frowned at me as Taraji smirked.

“Well Ma Uce, I agree it was a bit tasteless,” she said kissing up to my mom as she smiled at her.  

“Sandra, nothing was wrong with Tangela, and the girls doing a routine to her favorite song. It’s her wedding, she can do what she wants, and what you think doesn’t matter,” pops said as I smiled at him.

“I ain’t judging, I love all the girls, I just don’t feel it was proper for Trin, and Sofia to be out here doing vulgar moves and they are married,” she said as I rolled my eyes.

“Well, your sons seemed to have enjoyed it, so once again your thoughts on it don’t matter. Let them grown folks have fun and keep your opinion to yourself, I’m tryin’ to enjoy myself,” he said as my mother sat back in her chair and closed her mouth.

Looking back, I saw Montez sitting at the table next to me along with Shantell’s mom and they seemed to be having a fun conversation as they were both laughing.

 "What the hell is up with that and why is he here?”I muttered as Shantell went to their table leaned over and whispered something in Montez’s ear.

The smile on his face made my stomach turn as she smiled brightly, pulling him on the dance floor.

"Do you want to dance?" I asked Taraji as she smiled. "Uhm, sure and maybe after that we can go," she said as I nodded in agreement.

I needed to talk to Shantell, but I knew now wasn’t the place. Are you serious? Leave it to Taraji to go and start dancing by Shantell and Montez.

The idiot was beaming as Shantell danced close to him. Man, he is goofy as fuck, and can’t handle a woman like Shantell.

I couldn’t focus, all I could do was think about the many different ways I could kill him.

"You want me to walk you back to your room?" Montez asked as Shantell smiled. "I think you trying to set me up, but yea you can walk me back, "Shantell said laughing as he smiled brightly at her.

"Let’s go then," Montez said gently steering Shantell off the dance floor. "Wait, let me tell my mom I’m leaving," Shantell said walking away from him.

"Aye, let’s go Taraji. I’ll walk you back to your room," I said trying to be nice about wanting to ditch her." I need my coat," she said as I waved her off.

"No problem, I got you," I said jogging over to our table to get it.

"Mama, he’s a friend that is all," Shantell said as her mother laughed. "Well, if you decide to indulge your friend, wrap it up," Tanya said as Shantell blushed.

"I ain’t even going there, night mama," Shantell laughed giving her a hug.

What the fuck was so funny. Ain't nothing about this shit funny. Tevin's ass is outta the picture, now here comes this fool.

"Night, Jey, see you tomorrow," Shantell said waving at me before walking over to leave with Montez.

"Oh, so it’s like dat huh. No hug, kiss on the cheek, nothing just a dry ass good night," I mumbled My fuckin' insides are boiling.

-----

Shantell's Hotel Room

Montez’s POV

"Thanks for walking me to my room," Shantell said unlocking her door as I fidgeted with my hands.

“It was my pleasure,” I said coming closer as she smiled.  "Montez," she warned as I gently shushed her.

"I know we’re friends but, I can’t help I’m attracted to you,” I  said as she blushed. 

“So, you’ve told me a thousand times,” she whispered as I  gently kissed her hand before she walked inside her room.

“Goodnight Beautiful,”I said as she turned and smiled. “Night Tez, I had fun, see you tomorrow,” she said slowly closing the door.

"Damn, she’s a tough one to crack,” I muttered to myself as I felt someone bump me as I turned to leave.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you there,” familiar voice said as I looked up and locked eyes with Jey.

“No problem, Jey, have a good night,” I said walking away not wanting any trouble. I caught how he was looking at me and Shantell on the dance floor.

“Aye, tonight is your last night sniffing around, Bruh. Stay away from Shantell,” he said as I stopped in my tracks.

“What did you say?” I asked, turning around to make sure I heard him correctly, and by the look on his face, he was dead serious.

"I ain’t stutter man, stay away from Shantell or it’s gon’ get ugly,” Jey said boldly as everything began clicking in my head.

 "So that’s your plan huh, you just gon’ threaten and try to push every guy out of Shantell’s life that isn’t you, Jimmy, Solo, or Joe. Man, you selfish as fuck,” I said having figured out Jey’s game.

“No, that ain’t what I’m doing. I just know what you doin’ and it ain’t gon’ work.  She ain’t that type of girl, just stay away,” Jey said as I scoffed at him.

“Well, I know what you doin’ too, Jey. You either need to tell Shantell you like her and put yourselves outta your misery, or let her be happy wit someone else," I said giving him advice.

Hell, everyone knew he liked Shantell except Shantell.

"Who are you to give me advice?" Jey scolded as I sighed. "I’m Shantell’s friend, and I’ma be honest and say I hope someday I can be more, especially if you can’t get yo’ shit together," I said as I saw Jey’s face twitch.

"Get out my business, and just stay away a’ight," Jey said going to Shantell’s room about to knock.

"She’s fine Jey, I didn’t do anything to disrespect her in any way. What you need to worry about is how your new girlfriend’s a user," I said casually.

"What the fuck you talkin’ bout ?"Jey asked walking slowly back to where I was standing.

"Aye, don’t shoot the messenger, just listen. Pop up some Mondays to Raw and I bet you will see some eye-opening things, Jey," I said truly trying to peep him up on Taraji’s game.

"Why do you care?" Jey said staring intently at me.

"Maybe seeing Taraji in her true form will make you feel less guilty about dumping her ass.  Let's be real, you never really wanted to date her anyway," I said and I could tell Jey was mad that I had him figured out.

Jey’s POV

"You don’t know me at all to be judging me, Montez," I said getting irritated.

"I do know you Jey, I see right through you.  You are in love with Shantell but you are scared, you feel you undeserving. You scared you gonna mess up your friendship and lose her forever,” Montez said as I tried to keep my poker face.

I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he was right.  

"Man, gon' on wit the bullshit, and just remember what I told you," I said trying to keep my cool but I already knew I was right.

"Look, you either gon’ step up, and get your woman, or be miserable as fuck watching and someone else love her the way she deserves,” Montez said walking away.

“Who the fuck is he to give me advice?” I muttered passing Shantell’s room, going to my own.

I needed time to think, but deep down I knew Montez was right about everything he was saying.

I needed to get my girl and in a hurry.

------

Raw

Jey’s POV

After that night a few things Montez said began to stick out as I walked the halls in search of Taraji.

“Hey, Nattie you seen Taraji, I just decided to surprise her,” I said as she looked like she had seen a ghost.

“Uh, yeah she’s in the canteen, but I heard her say she was heading back to her dressing room,” she said looking worried, scurrying away from me.

Trying to push the naggin’ feeling away, I went to wait in her dressing room.

I sat in the corner and replayed the interview from a few days ago a fan had tweeted to me.

“Yeah, I date Jey Uso, that’s my guy. I mean you gotta hook you a big fish ladies to succeed in this business. Being with him is definitely helping my career. I like a certain lifestyle and even though he isn’t there yet, it’s close,"” she said laughing as I cringed.

Did she not think someone wouldn’t send this shit? She basically had no problem sayin’ she’s using me to further her career.

Sorry Taraji, this shit stops today. I cut my phone off hearing shuffling and moaning outside the door, as they finally stumbled into the room.

“Wait lock the door,” Taraji moaned as I shook my head in disbelief. There she was kissing another man as they fumbled around the room not seeing me at all. Their hands roamed each other's bodies.

Montez was really tryin’ to hip me to the game. I still don’t like his ass though.  “What about Jey, this can backfire,” I heard the male voice say as I scoffed quietly.  “Don’t worry bout him, baby, he ain’t got a clue,” she moaned as I stood up smirking. 

“You sure Jey ain’t got a clue you loose pussy,” I said startling them as they jumped apart.

“Jey, what are you doing here," Taraji whispered in shock smoothing down her hair as I laughed.

“I came to talk about that foul-ass interview you did the other day and look what I found,” I said looking at Carmelo Hayes.

“Aye, she been comin' on to me, I didn’t know ya’ll were serious,” he said as I nodded in understanding.

“We weren’t serious, just hooked up a few times. She begged me to give a relationship a try but deep down I knew.  You good Uce, I’m through wit her ass. It’s your problem now," I said walking out as Taraji ran after me.

“So that’s it! you ain’t gon’ fight for me or at least pretend to be upset!" Taraji screamed as I shook my head.

"No, 'cause I been knew yo' ass was for the streets when you let me fuck you in a storage closet without even really knowing me. I just tried to see past what was in front of me,” I said as she gasped, reaching out, attempting to slap me as I caught her hand. 

"Save the dramatics, it’s done Taraji,” I said releasing her hand.

“Fuck you, Jey! You just ready to run to her now ain’t you? Your precious Shantell, you ain’t never cared about me anyway,” she said trying to guilt me with her fake tears.

“It’s always been Shantell, and I know I ain’t never said that to you before but you knew it too. In the end, you cheated and that’s on you. Ain’t nobody to blame but you,” I said as I felt the anger radiating off of her.

"Jey, let’s just talk about this," she started as I cut her off with a quickness.

“Have a nice life Taraji because I know I will with Shantell,” I said truthfully not caring about her fake tears, or how it made her feel as I walked away from the dramatic ass scene.

 “You ain’t heard the last of me Jey, this ain’t over!” she yelled as continued walking, I had wasted enough time on her.

I felt relieved it was over because I was never really in it to begin with. I can’t believe I’ve wasted all this time, but I’m back on track now.

I had to tell Shantell how I felt.

-----

Shantell’s Condo

Jey’s POV

“She did what!?” Shantell yelled from the bathroom as I laughed. “You heard me, she was getting’ it on with Melo,” I said as she poked her head out the door.

“Stop it! Lawd! Melo, I was rooting for you! We were all rooting for you, how dare you!” Shantell said dramatically as I laughed.

“Man, she tried to lay on the guilt trip too, Iike I ain’t just see you cheatin’,” I said as Shantell shook her head.

“Jey you know how she is. I’m just glad you're free of the drama. You deserve better than that,” Shantell said fixing her hair.

“You think so?” I asked looking at her entranced by her beauty. Damn, I’m stupid as fuck, she’s been in front of me the whole time.

How do I even tell her?

“I know so, after all the shit you’ve been through you deserve all the happiness in the world Josh,” Shantell said taking her outfit off the hanger as I walked away to give her some privacy.

“So when are they gon’ start the remodel?" I asked looking around her bedroom as she got dressed. “In two months, so I got time to find an apartment or loft to rent until it’s done,” Shantell said coming out of the bathroom, trying to zip up her rumper.

“You ain’t gon’ never zip that up by yourself, turn around, I got you,” I whispered as she smiled turning around, looking at herself in the mirror.

"I really need some advice, Shantell," I said trying to build up my nerve to tell her. "Uh, I can try," she said nervously as I smiled.

“I really like somebody, but I don’t know how to tell her,” I said our eyes meeting in the mirror as I slowly began zipping her up.

“Aww, is she pretty?” she asked smiling as I nodded “She’s more beautiful than you could imagine, but it's not the first thing you notice about her though,” I said as Shantell's eyes silently questioned me.

“First thing I noticed about her was her heart, and how she loves everyone around her. She’s always ten toes down for everybody she considers her family. She don’t know it, but she makes me feel like I can do anything,” I said honestly as she smiled.

 “I’m really happy for you, she sounds like an amazing woman,” Shantell said as I sighed, frustrated, and flustered that she wasn’t catching on to the fact I was talking about her.

“She really is, I just hate that she doesn’t know how amazing she is.  I’d move heaven and earth just to have a chance to prove I’m worthy of her,” I said rubbing her shoulders as I stared into her eyes through the mirror.

I was laying my soul bare, I had nothing to lose.

Shantell’s POV

Trying to control my breathing I cleared my throat. “Um, well you should tell her how you feel Jey, you won’t know until you try,” I said as he sighed, placing a gentle kiss on my shoulder as I relaxed against him truly enjoying being in his arms again.

I knew moments like this were going to be few and far between when he finally told this girl how he felt.

I’m glad I really accepted us being friends because this would have crushed me deeply. He just gives off so many mixed signals that it frustrates me at times.

“You are going to be fine, just tell her. She won’t know until you let her know you like her,” I encouraged as he held me tighter. It was so simple but yet so intimate.

“What if she doesn’t feel the same way about me?” Jey whispered as I turned in his arms and hugged him.

I felt him exhale as my arms enclosed around his neck.

“I don’t think you’ll have a problem Josh, you’re an amazing guy. Stop second-guessing on yourself,” I said pulling away, and giving him a kiss on the cheek before going into my closet to look for my shoes.

“Maybe I’ll tell her soon,” Jey said as I nodded continued in search of my shoes.

“You better! It sounds like that girl is the one and you shouldn’t let her get away if she's that amazing. Stop wasting time, Uce,” I said honestly happy for him.

“Yea, I wasted too much time, if you knew how much, you'd probably slap my ass, but I’ma tell her," Jey said as I turned and smiled brightly at the boyish grin he was sporting.

 “Uh…I’ll let you finish getting dressed, and meet you downstairs. I’ve bothered you enough,” he said leaving quickly before I even could respond.

Poor guy, I hope he tells the girl soon I’ve never seen Jey so crossed up.

===

Girls Night Out

Roller Rink Bar

Shantell’s POV

“Shantell, are you serious!?” Sofia exclaimed as I laughed. “Why you making a big deal out of it? A woman can be a virgin in this day in age,” I said as Trin gave me a high-five.

“Take yo' time take sis, the dating pool these days is a mess,” she said as I clapped my hand in agreement.

“Thank you! I just want it to be with someone I love and trust,” I said taking a shot, looking at Montez and a friend of his by the rink, nursing a beer.  

“Someone like Jey I bet, but I have to say that tall cup of hot cocoa over there ain’t too bad,” Sofia said pointing at Montez as I sighed.

“See there you go, Montez and I are friends so it ain’t happening,” I said, shaking my head and ordering another shot to go with my drink.

“Alright a toast to the lady of the hour, Trin we are so proud of you and this new endeavor with TNA,” Tangela said as we raised our glasses.

“I got another month before my contract runs out with WWE before I can even sign,” she said as I reassured her.

"You got this in the bag, so celebrate. Paul told me to tell you congrats and he's proud," I said reassuring her as she smiled brightly at me.

“Ya’ll, I hate I can’t drink,” Sofia said as Tangela reached over and rubbed her belly.

“Cameron your aunties are ready to see you. We gon' spoil you rotten," she said as Sofia laughed.

“I’m ready for him to come out, Ma Uce is getting on my nerves. Somebody be at the hospital with Dominos and a bottle of wine,” Sofia said as Trin laughed.  

“We got you, sis,” I said as we saw Joe, Jimmy, and Jey walking back into the bar.

"Damn buzz kill, our personal Ubers and bodyguards are back. I guess their guy's night out was boring,” Trin snickered pointing at them as I almost spit out my drink.

"Damn, they could have given us another hour. Don't kill our vibe 'cause your night was boring,” Sofia scoffed seeing her husband come in behind his brothers.

"Girl, I’m so lit, it’s probably best we go," I said starting to feel the effects of the drinks I had. "Ooouu, here come hot coco, be cool ya'll," Tangela said as Montez approached our table.

"Damn, you sure you don't wanna climb dat tree Shantell," Sofia whispered to me as I gave her a pleading look to chill as Montez leaned over and without shame and shared his intentions.

"Hey, ladies, ya'll look beautiful tonight. I was just trying to see if Shantell wanted to cut a rug before ya'll leave," he said as Trin looked at me smiling.

"Sure, I'm cool with it," she said as Tangela chimed in her two cents as well.

“Yeah, dance wit the man Shantell,” Tangela said as I shook my head.

“I been drinking, and I don’t think I can skate, and dance at the same time right now,” I said as Montez smirked at me.

“Just lean on me, I got you beautiful,” he whispered as Trin smirked at me.

“Girl, go on and dance wit that man, and tell me if he can kiss. He looks like he can suck a soul out of a body quick,” Sofia whispered as I gasped.

"See, I don't know what I'ma do wit you,” I whispered before standing up to go over with him to the skate rental station as she laughed.

Jey’s POV

“Aye, ya’ll ready to go? Pool tournament at the bar next door was a bust,” Joe said looking around for Shantell.

“Where is Shantell?" Jimmy asked as I began skimming the room.

“Montez asked her for a dance since he knew we were about to leave,” Tangela said casually as I felt my eye twitch.

Motherfucka just won’t stop will he.

“You alright Jey?” Trin asked as I tried to play it off. “Yea, why wouldn’t I be?” I said trying to keep my emotions under control as I walked off to in search of Shantell.

Usher's and Beyonce's Love in this Club remix ll was ringing in my damn ears as I saw Shantell and Montez skating.

He was standing behind her as they maneuvered across the floor. They looked like a couple and I didn’t like it.

Asshole was whispering in Shantell’s ear as she threw her head back laughing. “He can’t be that damn funny Shantell,” I hissed as he locked his arm around her waist.

Now, baby girl, there ain't nothing more that I can say

You know by now, I want it more than anything

If I walk away and just let you leave

You'll be stuck in my head like a melody

“Hey! Don’t let me fall!” Shantell exclaimed over the music as they moved sensually in sync to the song.

“That motherfucka,” I growled as I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Aye, calm down, they just dancin’, “Jimmy said as I rolled my eyes.

" Look at that shit!" I said as Shantell playfully pushed Montez away as he continued to skate backwards, holding her hand as she slowly whined to the floor and back up again.

I know you want it (yeah)

But I'm hesitating (why)

You must be crazy, I got a man, you got a lady

I know we here together

So this must be something special

'Cause you could be anywhere you wanted

“You betta do dat shit Shan!” Sofia yelled as I sighed. Tonight wasn’t supposed to go like this.

“Bro you can’t even be mad? You ain’t even told her how you feel about her,” Solo said as I rolled my eyes.

 “Yes, hell I did!” I hissed as I watched them dance, getting even more pissed.

  "No the fuck you didn’t! I mean you confessed, but you said it was another girl that you felt that way about," Jimmy said as Solo looked at me like I was dumb as hell.

"Jey, ain’t nobody tryin’ read between the lines and play Blue's Clues wit yo', dumb ass," Jimmy said as I shook my head.

I knew he was right, I had chickened out the minute she looked at me.

"Josh, tell her before you lose her man,” Solo said as I felt my head bout to explode as Shantell and Montez glided by us as he spun her around.

But you decided to be here with me

No coincidence, it was meant to be

Don't be shy, come let your boy get in

I saw the look on her face, she was lit as fuck. She was singing and feeling the song more than she was his ass.

She slyly pushed him away and began dancing on her own as he admired her lickin’ his lips.  

So you can tell all of your friends

You was on the remix, like

In this club, in this club

“A’ight don’t fall now,” he yelled as she laughed continuing to dance as he followed her undressing her with his eyes.

"If he looks at her one more time and bites his lip, I’ma break his fuckin face, and knock out every last one of that motherfucka's teeth out,” I said as Jimmy and Solo laughed.

"Well do sumin’ bout it then,” Solo said shrugging his shoulders.

Thankful, the DJ called for a break, as Montez helped Shantell off the rink.

Shantell’s POV

“Thank you for the dance,” Montez whispered as I smiled. “I enjoyed it, thank you,” I said as Montez helped me take my skates off and then his own.  

“I think your bodyguards are coming,” Montez said as I looked, and saw Jey, Jimmy, and Solo approaching us so I stood to meet them.

“Hey ya’ll, this place is so cool,” I said as Jey frowned at Montez and he returned the gesture.

“Yea, uh, the girls are ready Shantell,” Jey said as Montez gave me a hug.

“Thanks for the dance, I’ll text you,” I said as I heard Jey growl. What the fuck was his problem?

“I’ll be on the lookout, enjoy your night Shan,” he said going back over to join his friends.

“Jey, was all that really necessary, you were rude,” I said as Jey looked at me intensely. His gaze paralyzes me, as it's intense, damn near primal.

 “I’m bout to leave and you betta be right behind me, Shan,” Jey said firmly as I raised my eyebrows in shock, as he left before I could respond.

“What the fuck is his problem?” I asked Solo as he tried to calm me down.

"Ignore him, he just is in his feelings," Jimmy said as I frowned. "In his feelings about what?" I asked as Jimmy gave me a hug.

"You gotta ask him that sis, I'll hit you up later," he said leaving to go back over to the table to join the others.

 “You know can ride home with one of us. We don't need ya'll fighting,” Solo said as I tried to seem unbothered.

“I’ll be fine, we aren’t going to fight. I’ll let you know when I get home, and let the girls and Joe know I’m good," I said giving him a hug before walking towards the exit.

“A’ight I’ll call you!” he yelled over the music as I waved at him. As I walked out of the club Jey already had his car in front of the entrance.

Slowly he walked around and opened the passenger door.

 “Get in the car Shantell,” he said as I sighed, getting in as he slammed the door, and quickly made his way back to the driver's side.

"Well tear your own shit up then, stupid," I mumbled as he got in and started the car without a word.

“Jey, I think you need to tell me what the problem is before we go anywhere,” I said trying to figure out what was going on and why he was acting this way.

 "Don’t worry bout it," he grumbled pulling out of the parking lot.

"Well, I think I should worry because you trippin'. I was having a nice night with the girls, and you come in acting like an asshole," I said as I saw his hand grip the steering wheel.  

"Yea, you were having you a real good fuckin' time, huh, he mumbled as I looked at him and the light bulb went off.

 “Is this about me dancing with Tez," I asked as I saw the muscles in his face twitch.

"Oh! He’s Tez to you now, huh. So is you fuckin' him?" Jey hissed as I was getting pissed with the attitude.

"Wait, time out this conversation already pissin' me off. You go from being big mad about me dancing with a friend, too is you fuckin' him? I said as Jey sucked his teeth.

"Don't play wit me Shantell, just answer the question," Jey mumbled as tried to process what we really were arguing about.

"You really questioning me, like you my man or somethin'. Like you just didn't do a fuckin’ monologue earlier about liking another woman!" I yelled as Jey growled.

"It wasn't a fuckin monologue! It was the truth, but you ain't listening! "Jey yelled as it was my time to growl in frustration.

What the fuck did he want from me?

"I listened as your friend, and I gave you advice!" I exclaimed as Jey shook his head focusing on the road.

"You make shit so fuckin’ hard for me. You don’t listen,” he said as I leaned back against the door wanting to reach over and smack da fuck outta his ass.

"I make shit hard for you! Well, I tell you what motherfucka, pull this shit over! I’ll make it easy on us both, and I’ll fuckin walk home!" I hissed as Jey sucked on his teeth.

“I ain’t doin' shit but taking you home, and putting you to bed, drunk ass, "Jey said as I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, I ain’t drunk by a long shot. I’m sober enough to know I ain’t riding another mile with yo' jealous, selfish, I wanna have my cake, and eat it too ass! GOT DAMN IT, PULL OVER!!" I yelled even louder hitting the dashboard with my hand.

"Fine! Walk yo' ass home then, I ain’t beggin’ you Shantell!” Jey yelled pulling over as I got out before the car came to a full stop, slamming the door, and started walking.

“Aye, get yo’ ass back in here Shan!” Jey called after me as I ignored him and kept walking.

"Where yo’ ass gon' go, we in the middle of nowhere,” Jey said walking in front of the car as I turned around and threw both my middle fingers up in the air for him to see.

“I got two feet, I got two fuckin' thumbs!” I said before turning back around, trying to find my phone in my purse.

“Get back in the car Sahntell, we ain’t done with this fuckin' conversation," he said as I continued to walk.

"Oh yes we are, I'm done with it," I said almost stumbling but regained my balance. "Get back in the fuckin’ car before you break yo' damn ankle with them high-ass shoes on Shantell!” Jey demanded having caught up to me but walking a couple steps behind.

“Leave me alone Jey, my subdivision is like a couple miles up the road. Ok, so I'm good," I said trying to just tune him out.

Jey’s POV

“Shantell you ain’t good, cause' deep down you know what’s up, and dats why you runnin’ scared! You don’t want me to tell you!” I yelled as Shantell screamed in frustration, finally turning around to face me.

“Runnin’… Oh no! See that’s your department!  I don’t run I stand in my truth, when are you goin' to stand in yours,” Shantell said smartly as I groaned at her truthful words.

 “You drive me fuckin crazy! I'm tryin' to stand in my truth! I’m tryin’ to tell yo’ ass! ” I yelled pulling her close as she pushed me away.

“Well stand in it! Tell me what you wanna say. I'm right here Josh, and I ain’t runnin’. TELL ME! " Shantell demanded hitting my chest in desperation as I caught her off guard, claiming her lips in a passionate kiss.

Her shocked whimpers set my soul on fire as I deepened our kiss. Her hands caressed my face as I pulled her closer. It was like we couldn't get close enough to each other.

 Our New Year's Eve kiss had nothing on this one. “If you would just let me talk, I’d tell you a million times, it's you, baby," I moaned against her lips, stealing another earth-shattering kiss before pulling away.

Trying to catch her breath, and process what was happening, Shantell looked at me with unsure eyes.

 “The girl I was talkin’ about earlier was you. Don’t you see? I want you, and only you Shantell. I wanna be your man, I want you to be my woman I said pointing between us.

"There, I finally said it,” I whispered releasing the breath I was holding as I saw a few tears escape her beautiful eyes.

I had finally done it, I had confessed my heart's desires and the ball was in Shantell's court now.

“Why do you want me, Josh? Out of every girl in the world why me?” she whispered as I gently wiped her tears and kissed her tenderly on the forehead as she melted into my arms.

“Cause your you, baby,” I declared, my voice filled with emotions that only she stirred within me.

Unashamed, I let my own tears fall as I held her close. I had bared my soul and she didn’t run, she welcomed me with open arms.

“What are we going to do?” Shantell asked as I scooped her up in my arms, as she snuggled her face into my neck.

“We gon’ figure this it out, 'cause I can’t lose you now,” I whispered truthfully holding her close as I carried her back to the car.

Shantell’s POV

I know I’m a little lit, but damn he just shocked the shit out of me…How long had he felt this way?

Were his feelings recent, or did they develop over time?

Oh, God, did he have feelings for me all along? My head was spinning, Jey wanted us to be together. Shantell shut the fuck up and stop overthinking.

"Live in the present and be happy, fool," I muttered to myself as Jey placed me gently in the car." What did you say baby?" he asked as I smiled at him.

“Thank you, I was saying thanks for carrying me to the car” I whispered as Jey buckled my seatbelt.

I leaned my head up against the seat, closing my eyes. I needed a bed asap, this was too much for one night.

“Uh huh, see dat brown liquor gettin’ to yo ass ain’t it? That’s why I told you to bring yo ass on earlier, so I could put you to bed,” Jey said as I shot him a look as he laughed, closing my door.

"Hell, it wasn't just the liquor, it was yo' fine ass too," I muttered to myself as he got back in the car.

"A'ight let me get you home, so I can put yo' fine ass to bed. You bout sleep now," Jey said buckling his seatbelt as I giggled.

“So you wanna put me to bed, huh,. Well I’ll have you to know that you gon’ have to work for this good, good, cause I’m a lady,” I said pointing at him and winking as he laughed.

 “Yea, but you my lady, so best believe I don't mind workin' real hard for dat good, good," Jey whispered caressing my thigh, licking his lips as I shivered at the thought.

Fuck, resisting him is going to be a challenge. Shit, he can pop this cherry now and I'd have no regrets.

"We gon' finish this conversation when yo’ ass is sober, Ms. Good, Good. Now go to sleep,” Jey teased as I smiled closing my eyes as he drove back to my place.

---

The Next Morning

Shantell's Condo

Jey’s POV

The best sleep I’ve had in a long time. I was afraid she wouldn’t remember anything from last night but she woke my ass up an hour ago and we been talkin’ ever since.

“You know I won’t pressure you,” I said caressing her beautiful face as she looked down at me with those sexy innocent eyes.

“I know, I just wanted to let you know that I didn’t want to rush things,” she whispered against my lips.

This morning included beautiful conversation and stolen kisses. "I’m following your lead," I whispered letting her know I’m ready when she is. I ain’t screwing this up.

"I don't want to ruin our friendship," Shantell moaned as I gently kissed her neck, lightly tracing circles on her lower back with my fingertips as she ran her fingers through my hair.

"Ain't you heard? Friends make the best lovers," I groaned, gently nipping at her neck as she moaned in satisfaction.

"Fuck you sound and look so sexy. I'ma enjoy finding all the spots that make yo' fine ass hot," I growled taking her in a demanding kiss.

Shantell's POV

Damn, I'm in trouble, his hands, tongue, and mouth are fuckin lethal.

"Mmm, Jey we gotta stop, I hear something," I moaned pulling away as we both were trying to catch our breath.

"Did you invite anybody over?" jey asked as I shook my head no.

Hearing Joe's voice downstairs Jey groaned. "See this is why you don’t give everybody a key," he said as I laughed climbing off his lap.

"Well, we have plenty of time," I said throwing his words back at him as Joe knocked on my bedroom door

"Shantell is the coast clear?" Joe asked as Jey growled, throwing myself back on the bed as I snickered.

"Sure, we’re good, come on in," I said as he came in smiling. "Hey Uce, what you doing here?" Jey asked as Joe smirked at us.

"I just wanted to check on ya’ll, shit was intense at the bar last night," he said as I groaned remembering how I acted after Jey and I left the bar.

"We talked Joe, everything is good," I said going to sit beside Jey as he sat up and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips before turning and smirking at Joe.

"About damn time!" Joe shouted as he and Jey laughed doing their secret handshake. "Oh, god stop, "I whined as Joe smirked at me.

"Jimmy owes me fifty bucks, I knew something was gon’ give last night," Joe said as Jey laughed.

"Man, you don't even know half of what she did, " Jey said as I playfully hit him on the shoulder to stop him from running his mouth.

"Uh, everything went good Uce, no problems at all," Jey lied as I nodded in agreement.

"Who ya'll think you foolin'? I saw Shantell's face when she followed you out of the bar last night. She broke yo' ass down like a fraction in that car last night... It's ok to admit it, we've all been there, Uce," Joe said patting Jey on the shoulder.

"Man, fuck you, Uce," Jey said as I shook my head at their antics

I hoped we all stayed this way because life was too short to be anything but happy.

-------

@Shantell_productionswwe

Liked by @Uceyjuicey @jonathonfatu @romanreigns @saronasnkuewwe @trinity_fatu and 3,000 others.

To my beautiful sister, last night you proved them all wrong and I’m so proud of you. It was an honor to watch you shine in person. A lot of ya'll haters were talking about the size of the building, and tryin' to clown her big moment, but not on my watch. As her family, we're celebrating TNA's appreciation of her amazing talent, and all those extra zeros, and commas in her new TNA contract. NOW CLOCK THAT TEA, HATERS! Cheers to an amazing new adventure and future. Love you, Trin!! #Feeltheglow

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-----

 Smackdown

Shantell’s POV

"Sis, he got a point, what goes on between you guys is ya'll's business. Nobody here can judge anybody. Thirty-two and thirty-eight ain’t that much of an age difference," Joe said as I shook my head in defiance.

"I ain’t sayin' it is, but tell it to Mama Fatu. She all but asked how we were going to handle it. I mean she seems to like me, but she made it seem like Jey was robbing the cradle when we told her we were dating," I said cringing thinking about the conversation.

"Oh no she didn’t? Joe said as I shook my head in shame. "It was so embarrassing bear," I whined as he cleared his throat looking around to make sure nobody was listening.

"What did Unk say?" Joe asked as I smiled despite myself. "He told her to mind her own fuckin’ business," I said as Joe laughed.

"Joe it ain’t funny," I said as his laugh got louder. "Yes hell, it is because I know him," he said as I snickered.

"Just be happy sis, and take it slow. This is about you and Jey, not anybody else," Joe said as I smiled. "You got it, dude, "I said as he kissed my cheek before going to get dressed.

Grabbing my headset I sat beside Paul who seemed concerned. "Are you ok Shantell?" he asked as I nodded.

"Ok, we’re going to pace on to start the show, I need a crowd pan and then que Joe's music," I said writing down my notes. "We are on in ten everyone," I said as I saw Jey coming up. I smiled at him but he didn’t return it.

He began to pace rubbing his hands over his face."Are you ok?" I whispered as he shook his head.

"Nah, I ain’t ok baby," he said as Paul looked between us in shock. "Um, Baby," he said as I blushed.

"Jey," I started as he cut me off. "No, Shantell I gotta say this, we are together, me and you… Dats our business, and I don’t give a fuck what people think or who knows for that matter,” Jey said as my mouth dropped open in shock as people had begun to gather in  Gorilla for the start of the show.

 "If I wanna kiss you, I’ma kiss the fuck outta you. Half the people here cheat on their damn spouses and the other half are fucking coworkers on the road. Who da fuck are they to judge us," he said reaching over, gently taking me in an earthshattering kiss as I moaned before I could stop myself.

The whistles and murmurs of the people around us should have made me blush but I could care less.

"Have a great show baby," he whispered stealing another kiss. “You too,” I whispered as Paul cleared his throat as Jey grinned.

"Sorry boss, I just had to get some business straight," Jey said as I blushed.

Well, the secret was outta the bag..Everyone definitely knew now.

"Well I don’t blame you Jey, sometimes we gotta stand on business,” Paul said as they shook hands.  

"Don’t boost him up wit that stand on business bullshit," I said as they laughed.

"Can I work now?" I whispered as Jey grinned at me. “Sure Ma, make me look good out there,” he said as I laughed “You don’t need my help in that department, go kill it, babe,” I said as he winked at me before heading to the curtain.

I looked around at the stares and some were happy some not so happy.

"Aye, I don’t pay ya’ll to stand around and be nosey. Get ready for the show," Paul said as the crowd disbanded and Jimmy, Joe, and Solo came up.

"What did we miss, why all these folks up here?" Solo asked as Paul smirked. "Oh, nothin’ just yo brother causin' a scene in the name of love," Paul whispered as I cringed.

"I’ll tell you later," I said as he put his towel on his head getting in the zone.

"Let’s make it count ya’ll we got a few more weeks of this before the Civil War match," Joe said as Jimmy seemed to upset about his statement.

"Go kill it ya’ll! I yelled as Joe’s theme dropped and he walked out to the crowd erupting.  Next Jey and Jimmy head out to face off against Joe and Solo.

"Do you think this is going to work Paul?" I said as he smiled at me. "Hell yeah, this is just the beginning for them Shantell. The next month is going to take the fans on a rollercoaster ride, then it's smooth cruisin' into MITB and the possibilities after that are endless," Paul said as we looked at them on my monitor.

The breakup of the bloodline was starting and I wasn’t ready not by a long shot. I knew they all were going to knock it out of the park and thrive in their new roles in the story….

This is it....This is history..

----

Pensacola Memorial Hospital

Shantell’s  POV

"Shan, I got the pizzas what you doin’?” Jey asked as I  put Sofia’s wine in my purse. “I had to put Sofia’s bottle of wine in here,” I said as we walked inside the hospital.

“So you really gon’ give it to her,” Jey asked as I laughed. “Damn right, she just birthed a whole human. If the mama wants wine, she gon’ have damn wine,” I  said as we got on the elevator.

"I can’t wait to see him," Jey said as l smiled at him. "I can’t either," I said as we got off the elevator.

"Damn, I hear them from here," Jey said as we passed the nurses station.

It had been quiet when we left about an hour ago, as Sofia was in recovery and they had taken the baby to be cleaned up.

Going in I couldn’t help but smile as it seemed like a scene out of a movie. A big family gathered around laughing and welcoming their new loved one into the family.

"Man, he looks just like you, little brother," Jimmy said as Trin placed Cameron in his grandmother's arms. Solo was beaming from ear to ear as I saw Sofia's eyes light up.

"Whooo, is that my pizza?" Sofia asked looking at the boxes in Jey’s hand.

"Yep, you know we got you, yours is on top and I got extra for everybody else," Jey said putting a box in front of her.

"Don’t forget this," I said pulling out a huge bottle of red wine. “You remembered!” Sofia exclaimed as Solo laughed.

“Yes, I did, and it’s here for when you want it," l said as I gave Sofia a hug.

"Sis, you can sit here so you can hold the baby," Solo said getting out of his seat. He ain't had to tell me twice, I all but ran to his chair. I was ready to hold my nephew.

"Ok, now hold his little head," Mama Fatu instructed placing Cameron in my arms.

“Hey Cam, I’m your auntie and this is your uncle," I said pointing at Jey who had kneeled beside me caressing his tiny face as he slept.

“Man he’s beautiful bro,” Jey said admiring his nephew. "You look good with a baby in your arms Shantell," Papa Kish said as I smiled, despite knowing my future of being a mom would be a hard road to travel.

"Maybe it will happen one day pops," I said caressing Cameron's tiny head as he slept. "Hey, it will," Jey said wrapping his arms around Cameron and me as I leaned on him.

"I promise you it will baby," he whispered placing a gentle kiss on top of my head.

I would love to be a mother and a wife someday. Jey's wife...

Maybe I can finally tell this man I love him. He’s amazing in every way and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us.

We had a few more days off before it was back to the grind of the road, but I think there was one thing we all could agree on.

Every extra minute we had was going to be spent spoiling Cameron.

Welcome to the world Cameron "Gram" Fatu….

The end.

For the sequel head over and check out Light, Camera, Action!

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@melaninsugababy @romanreignkisser @bebesobrielo

@arination99 @2-muchsauce @bakugoumarianawrites

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[xq1zi]

the other women will always cry herself to sleep

|angst| fem!reader| english not fist language| not proof read

being born into a noble family was never a good thing. others may say differently. but really what do they know? the way you try to “grown up” but in reality, you don’t even know what those words mean anymore. never having a friend or someone to cry on. not even having a sibling as you are an only child. your parents wishing that they had a boy her he can carry on the family name. to your parents never saw you as a person let alone someone with feelings.

you have a chance to be someone. as you are getting married to kamisato ayato. it almost felt like a blessing from celestia.

finally to be first someone's choice. someone who will see you or let you be free.

you had only met the young lord couple. as late teens when giving your grievance at his parent's funeral. or at social gatherings when you saw him from afar. this time will be at your wedding. “[name] for the love of all good, please don’t mess this up.” your mother said. “yes mother.” dinner time was never your favorite time. having to sit with the people you hated most in the world for a meal everyday. “may i go now? i have finished.” you said. “you may go.” your mother sighed.

when getting up and leaving the dining room you could hear some maids bad-mouthing you

“oh it’s lady [name]”

“she is quite weird you know.”

“i know i heard her once about how she wanted a new life.”

“what?! she is so lucky to be born into a noble family.”

“right, we could never be so lucky”

they stop bickering when they see you getting close. but it was too late you had heard it all. you go quickly to your room and locking the door. it seems like no one will understand how you feel.

the wedding will be next week. and everyone is getting ready but no one wanted your help so you were left with nothing to do and just think. will even he love you? will he even care about you? was this even worth it?

“my lady, we should get you ready for bed.” it was the head maid. she always took care of you. you sigh. you need time alone. “okay.” you walk to the bathroom with them and got in the warm bathtub. “you can leave, i can wash myself.” “i can't do that. i must be with you all the time. what if someone tries to take your life? I can not leave you”

“well i can tell you this no one will try to kill someone whose life has no meaning to it.” she sighed. “alright, i will be waiting outside the door.” the water is so warm. so calm. it was time to get out.

sleeping was extremely difficult. your eyes won't close. so you just lay there.

time went by so fast that you didn't even notice it

the day of the wedding felt so wrong. were you really about to get married? the answer was yes when you said your i do’s. ayato was a handsome man. you feel sorry that he was to be married to you. the wedding was short. so when it was over you had to go meet your sister-in-law. she was so beautiful. you also meet a man called thoma he was a kind man. the three of you talked but your social skills weren’t the best. thoma showed you the bedroom that you and ayato will be sharing from now on.

there you are, in the room that you will be sharing with him. but he never showed. you slept alone. you ate alone. you spend your time alone. you only saw him at the wedding. and nobody told you where he was because no one seem to know. the wedding was two weeks ago havent seen him since then. making up your mind and deciding to sneak out since you can’t go outside without a personal guard.

you could feel the cold night. it was refreshing. you went and walked around. this feeling of freedom was amazing. you walked for hours you were at a unknown place. someone had bumped into you as to see they weren't seeing where they were going. the man was surprised that someone walking at night in a strange place.

“are you lost miss?” he had a soft spoked voice

“oh, im afraid i am. i know don’t the city very well”

“thats fine whats your clothes look very nice so i suppose your a noble?”

“ah! yes i am my name is [name] [last na-] oh its kamisato now”

he looked at you with confusion but he continued to introduce himself

“my name is aether come i’ll lead you to the kamisato estate”

“thank you very much”

as you two walked you had a small conversation he asked you about your new marriage. “well im not sure if im even a good wife,” you took in a deep breath “i havent seen him seen the wedding but i hope we can be a good couple. im sure hes just busy” he took a second to answer “yeah i hope you too the best. so here we are” you didnt noticed that you had arrived. “thank you once again. goodnight.” and then you went back inside.

aether knew that when ayato that when he had bumped into him a few week ago with the ‘love of his life’ in matter in fact it was not you. he felt bad for you because he probably knew that ayato was avoiding you and spending time with her. as he was leaving there he was in the flesh. “aether its surprising see you here at night” “ahah ayato can speak with you please”

as you were seeking back in you heard something from ayato office. “ayato please tell them, they need not to get their hopes up” “no, then what a divorce? we cant do that or better yet let the people know that i kamisato ayato is not truthful to my wife! i just cant i know its bad”

you went back to bed. what a fool you had been. you’ll really always be the other women that will cry herself to sleep. he will never love you. he will never care. you’ll never have someone there for you and to care. life is never fair.

[bratzforchris]

Just a Dream

❃

Summary: The good die young doesn't make sense to you until it does. In which your fiancé dies in combat and you must learn to make peace with knowing he's always with you. Based off of "Just a Dream" by Carrie Underwood.

Pairing: Soldier!Luke x feminine reader

Warnings: Angst (no happy ending), death, combat/war, funeral scene

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N: This is what a week spending every day with a dysfunctional family at the holidays does to an author 🙃

❃

You bit down hard on your bottom lip as you stared into the rearview mirror in your car. The face staring back at you almost didn’t feel like yours. Your eyes had been dusted with soft, gold eyeshadow, which felt almost disrespectful for the occasion. Your eyes were bloodshot, accompanied by dark purple bags. It was hard to believe that you’d turned eighteen just two short weeks ago. The face that stared back at you was someone who had experienced a lifetime of hurt. You couldn’t believe that the reason you were going to the church tonight wasn’t for your and Luke’s wedding. It was almost like a cruel twist of fate. 

You glanced over at the passenger seat of your old car and felt the tears well up in your eyes despite your best efforts. The cardboard box was like a sick taunt, filled to the brim with letters Luke had sent you, along with a sixpence and one of his old, ratty Converse. If someone who didn’t know you saw your current state, they’d think you actually were going to get married. You didn’t know why, but you had even followed the “something borrowed, something blue” and worn your one of your mother’s old hair clips and your cobalt locket from the blond. 

As you pulled out of your driveway, you hardly registered the fifteen minute trip from your home to the church. It had been almost two weeks, and not of it felt real. Every night before you went to bed you prayed that you would wake up to Luke and everything would be some sort of awful dream. Thankfully, everyone had gone inside the church by the time you arrived. You didn’t have the energy to talk to anyone. Quickly sliding out of your car, you grabbed your bouquet of black roses and hurried toward the building. Almost like they were waiting for you, the church doors opened wide as soon as you were outside them. You hurriedly pulled your veil down as you surveyed the scene, trying not to cry as everyone turned to look at you. The fact that this was actually real nearly made you turn on your heel and flee. 

The military band began to play and before you could stop yourself, your bouquet fell out of your hands. You didn’t understand why this had to happen to you. What kind of dark joke was it to take your beautiful, blond boyfriend who was only nineteen away from the world? It felt unfair, if that was even a strong enough word. You’d been counting on forever with Luke, but now you didn’t know. You didn’t know how you were going to continue, knowing the man that was everything was gone; taken just like that. As you walked down the aisle, you heard the whispers of your family and friends saying “he’s not coming home now” or “at least he died honorably”, which was true. 

Luke was the most selfless person you had ever known, right up until the day he died. You could practically still picture when you got the news. You were rushing to get to your class at the local community college campus, stressed because you hadn’t heard from Luke that morning. It wasn’t unusual for you two to go a few hours without texting, especially considering your boyfriend was deployed, but you hadn’t heard from him since your call yesterday afternoon. Just as you went to rush out the front door, your phone rang with a call from an unknown number. You didn’t know why, but something in you told you to answer the call. You could still hear the voice of the commander rolling through the phone, awfully monotone for the news he was delivering. Luke Robert Hemmings, your fiancé and best friend, had died earlier that morning on October 15th, defending his unit at only nineteen years old. 

As the memory played like a bad highlight reel through your mind, you felt like you were looking from a distance. This wasn’t your life, you were just an observer watching an awful dream. Keeping your head down and your veil pulled over your head to hide the tears, you took a seat next to Luke’s mom and your own as the preacher began to speak. 

“Let us bow our heads and pray,” he spoke. “May the Lord lift this heroic young man’s soul and heal the hurt that has been done to his family.”

Once he had finished his speech, the congregation stood up and began to sing a song you had never heard, but that hurt you all the same. It didn’t seem right to take such a young, loving, beautiful man like Luke away from the world. He had had dreams; he was going to get his PhD while in the military, marry you, start a family. And now, none of those things would ever be accomplished. 

You were called to the front of the church, where you stood by Luke’s closed casket. It had been deemed that his injuries were too “gory” for an open casket funeral, but you would’ve given your last dime to see your beautiful blond just one more time. The thought of his blue eyes laying lifeless behind that wooden lid made you bite your lip as you teared up once again. Before you knew it, a commander was handing you a folded up American flag, and you clutched it to your chest. This was the last material thing you had left from Luke, and you would cherish it for the rest of your days. It was all you had left of him. 

The guards that were for military funerals lined up and rang one more unloaded shot, almost like a send off to Luke. It didn’t matter that there weren’t any actual bullets. It felt like a bullet in your heart nonetheless. Luke was never coming back. You would never see him back from deployment, or on your wedding day, or at the hospital when you had your first child. He was gone. 

The rest of his funeral passed by in a blur, with family and friends offering their condolences. You didn’t hear them, though. You were too busy twisting the diamond engagement ring around your finger. You and Luke had had a wedding planned for as soon as he returned from deployment, but it seemed unfair to think about that now. The fact that you would go on with your life and grow old, but he would stay forever nineteen, all because he died defending his country. 

Somehow though, you knew he would always be with you. Luke had been like that, ever since you’d started dating sophomore year. He had a way of making you feel better, even when he wasn’t around. All you had to do was think of his corny jokes or his crooked smile and everything was okay again. Maybe that wouldn’t be the case now, but you would never forget how loved Luke made you feel as long as you lived. Maybe you’d wake up and this would all be a dream, but for now, you made peace with the fact that your guardian angel would always be watching over you, calling you his lover, just like before.  

[mayhemscorner]

Bells and Black Feathers

Itachi x f!reader

Slowburn. Itachi. OG Naruto setting. I really wanted my first Itachi fanfic to be longer since I’ve never written for him before and I usually only do quick stories. Please enjoy. Also, I apologize for the trauma and angst. But if this receives good feedback, I may make this in to a series 🫢

Bells. Bells were known in our clan as the harbingers of incoming change. We used them during clan ceremonies. Weddings, funerals, even birthdays. I was so sick of hearing bells. It was as if the drone of a metal ball racking around a hollow shell followed me wherever I went, even in to the village. Even worse, our clans genjutsu was hearing based, and you guessed it, we used bells. I almost thought I was crazy when I heard the telltale jingle faintly from beside me. I couldn’t help but check my pockets frantically to make sure mine were properly put away to not send anyone near by in to an accidental genjutsu. It was as if I’d gone crazy, hearing the chirp of a tiny bell pass beside me once again as I bump in to it,” my apologies.”

Bells don’t talk, and they definitely don’t have handsome features like the dark orbs that barely even spare a glance my way as they help me up from the beaten path on my way to the gates. 

“No, I wasn’t looking. It’s my bad, your bell made me think I was about to endanger everyone here.” I ramble on, completely awestruck at the cloaked man in front of me. Looking down, I can only hold my gasp at the sight of the all knowing red clouds. As a Jonin, we’re trained to watch for and decipher these cloaks to pinpoint the Akatsuki. But why would they be rash enough to lurk on the edge of the village out in the country? 

“Nonsense, I believe we both had our eyes on something that distracted us. As it is, I must be on my way.” He replies, not letting even one emotion bubble to the surface as his face stays as still as stone.

“Hey, what’s your name?” I ask, knowing it didn’t matter, he was a threat regardless. But the longer I could keep him here, the quicker I could subdue him.

“I believe that’s best saved for our next encounter. Farewell.” He’s already disappeared as his last word rings through my ears. It takes a second to shake the eerie feeling creeping up my back, but once composure is regained, I’m already breaking in to a dead sprint.

“Asuma! Hey! Asuma, damnit where are you?” I’m calling out to him before even hitting our usual meeting spot for missions, only to be answered with the wind. The only other shinobi with worse timing than Asuma was the only one to show up, lazily sauntering to our spot,” yell any louder and he might just hear you on the other side of the village, Y/N.”

“Listen, we’re being watched. What I’m about to tell you… you have to believe me.” I begin, gripping his shoulder so I can lean in and whisper,” the Akatsuki, they’re in the village.”

“Okay, I know we’re both well versed in pranking but this is a new level. Even for you.” Kakashi sighs, yanking at his ear lobe in mock pain. No, not mock pain… it was the signal that someone was possibly listening to our conversation. I had almost forgotten about it since we never had to resort to it, not for years anyways. It was a trick we would use in our younger years to signal when Asuma or Guy would attempt to listen to our private gossip sessions. 

“Anyways, if you’re done fooling around, I’m going to find where Asuma has wandered off to., you stay here just in case Guy shows up early.” He sighs, the only signal that shows he knows exactly where they’re at is his eyes darting to the right in the direction of the river. 

“Guy can figure out where we are, I’m coming with you.” I mutter, kicking at the dirt road and tailing directly on his heels. Kakashi spares a glance back, pointing to his eye and shaking his head no before covering it with his hand. I’m assuming it means don’t look, but my eyes wander anyways. I was good at taking in the scenery and doing the opposite of what I was told since I had the means to get myself out of trouble. What I wasn’t expecting to see was Asuma and Kurenai working as a team, yet still struggling against the man who had bumped in to me earlier and a new companion. Kurenai was in the river, looking winded as Kakashi, steps in front of me to block my vision, reaching down to grip my vest,” go find Guy. That’s an order.”

Kakashi stares unyieldingly until I relent, sprinting to the village. 

I heave deeply, resting against the side of a vendors stand when I see the familiar and vibrant neon orange leg warmers parading in the air as Guy walks on his hands. 

“H-hey! Guy! Come take a stroll with me real quick.” I huff out as quickly as I can between breaths, snapping one of his leg warmers to get his attention. 

“Y/N! I was just on my way to the gates to meet up with the team, what’s the hurry all of a sudden? Finally accepting my offer of a romantic stroll? This mission can wait for the sake of love if it must!” Guy sputters out, clambering back to the way a normal human stands. I can’t help but roll my eyes,” sure, yeah. Let’s move it. We got places to be Guy.”

He follows against my tight grip as I lead him to the river, quickly losing my patience as he mutters on. 

We finally reach the area once again, seeing not much has happened other than Kakashi looked to be wounded… internally? Maybe winded?

“The river? The perfect place for- Kakashi! No one messes with my rival except me!” Guy gasps out, quickly disappearing from my side. He lands between the two sides, splashing the water as everyone stays at a standstill. After a brief moment of communication, the two Akatsuki vanish, leaving the others to tend to Kakashi. I run across the water, quickly reaching for Kakashi with my medical abilities only to be stopped by Asuma,” he needs to go to the hospital, don’t even waste your chakra. Notify… someone.”

“Who, Asuma? There’s no time to waste, if I’m not needed here, I’m going after them!” I shout, already taking off for the treeline. 

“Y/N, get back to the village. You’ll be in worse trouble if you pursue them.” Guy calls out, quickly catching up. I can’t help but laugh,” with what hokage, Guy? We have the chance to take them out now. So let’s move it! There’s not currently a hokage to give us orders and I’m not going to sit around and wait.”

“Y/N, stop. You aren’t even thinking. His genjutsu is unbreakable.” Guy shouts, finally outrunning me to stop me in my tracks. I bluff my defeat, silently reaching for the bells at my side,” I’m sorry, Guy. I can’t let them get away.”

The bells twirl delicately around the metal rod they were strung to carefully by a clan elder the day I was born, twisting around to create a melodious genjutsu even Guy was too slow to release from. Normally, he had warning and could break it in time. But the look of betrayal as he’s frozen in to place, sends a pang through my chest,” I’ll show you the life you wish to have.”

Having to state my intentions of a genjutsu was a downfall, and I cringe at the thought of Guy’s ideal life. But I can only move forward to give myself enough distance with the bells, as once I’m out of earshot, the genjutsu may be broken within moments. 

After what felt like miles, I drop the bells back down, taking a brief second to slow down and catch my breath. The sky unrelentingly fades to grey as thunder rolls in,” because why wouldn’t it rain?”

I curse to myself, knowing the seconds before rain were precious in the effort to find any sign of tracks. I drop down to a single footprint that stops in the middle of a clearing, looking around frantically to find another. As my head whips back to the tree I was just in, a bell sounds just beside my ear. Ice fills my veins as I freeze in a slight terror.

“You’re alone.” The man from earlier breathes out. I force myself to focus my eyes to the ground and keep my cool,” yes.”

“That wasn’t a question but thanks for the clarification. You aren’t here to subdue me, you’re here for answers.” He continues, trailing a finger across my back as he circles around me, examining me almost before he continues,” you don’t know who I am, do you?”

“I don’t exactly keep my bingo book on me all the time, I just know you’re Akatsuki. It’s my job to train Genin now, not chase after criminals all the time.” I huff, refusing to look up as his finger prods at my jaw in an attempt to lift my gaze,” I’m not falling for your genjutsu.”

Regretfully, I still look up due to the persistent tug at my jaw, being met with the wondering dark orbs that I’d witnessed earlier. 

“If I wanted to place you under a genjutsu, I would’ve done so by now, Y/N.” He drops his hand, revealing the slightest smirk on his face. I confusingly take in his features as I try to figure out why they were so familiar before i land on the mutilated leaf headband that rested against his forehead, sweeping back his raven hair. 

“How do you know my name?” I mutter, reaching for the silver block on his headband to run my fingers along the slashed leaf in the middle. His hand is quick to grip mine,” you truly don’t remember do you?”

“Unfortunately, no.” I sigh, regretting that I was fully enamored with the handsome criminal in front of me. 

“We were Genin together. Itachi Uchiha.” He says coldly. The realization on how long it took myself to puzzle the pieces together hits like a ton of bricks. But I have no recollection of ever being in the same class, let alone knowing him.

I can only shake my head in response.

“If you can’t remember, let me show you.” Itachi sighs defeatedly, looking directly in to my eyes as his own bleed in to the notorious red sharingan. I prepare myself for a genjutsu, seeing as I find myself back in the classroom sitting at my desk. The day in question is hazy, but I still remember the doodle I was drawing. I also remember the pain I’m about to experience. As if on cue, my broken pencil I was trying so hard to continue to write with, slices my palm. I can’t control any movements, it’s a memory that can’t be altered. My tiny hand recoils in pain as younger me whimpers,” ah, dang it! I can’t bleed on this dress, my mom just got it for me.”

“Allow me.” The young boy beside me bubbles with a rising smile, quickly pulling a bandage roll from the backpack beside him,” my brother can be clumsy so I tend to carry extras just in case.”

“You callin’ me clumsy?” Young me accuses him sharply. I was always ‘abrasive’ as my sensei Shikaku regularly stated during our outings with Choza and Inoichi’s teams. 

“Not at all, do you always assume the worst so quickly?” The young version of Itachi questions back. My memory jogs and I can feel my current self mouth the same words I’m about to relive,” I can assume we’re going to be good friends if you’re brave enough to call me out on my crap.”

The scene fades to darkness, sitting at the end of the dock in the Uchiha compound with our feet dangling off the edge.

“Do it again!” A slightly older me shrieks in a fit of laughter as Itachi stands once again, sending a fire ball across the pond. 

“The simplest things surely entertain you. It’s amazing.” He chuckles, sitting back down as my body falls against the dock to look at the stars,” you amaze me, honestly.” 

I can still feel the heat against my cheeks at the confession I had made long ago. 

“Y/N?” He asks quietly.

“Yeah?” I question back.

“Even though we’re still young, do you ever get the feeling we’ll be together forever?” He questions sheepishly.

“We’ll always be friends, that’s not even a question. Don’t be so weird.” I laugh, reaching up to punch his shoulder.

“What if we’re destined to be more than friends?” Itachi continues with his questions, looking over to catch my pondering face,”… we’re still young. If it happens, it happens. We have plenty of years left to stay just how we are. Like you always say, it’s better to wait than spend the rest of your life regretting a rash decision.”

It flickers again, this time it’s my mother, uncontrollably sobbing at the kitchen table that woke me from a dead sleep due to the excitement of finally becoming a chunin,” mom, are you okay?”

I try to rub away the tiredness from my eyes as she shakes her head,” go back to bed, Y/N. It’s nothing you would understand at your age.” 

“Try me.” Twelve year old me crosses her arms as I watch my mothers sadness turn to anger,” you think because you’re a chunin now you can handle a tragedy in your own village? Well it’s time to grow up, kid. There was a massacre on the Uchiha compound. The whole clan is dead. Thanks to your little boyfriend, that Itachi kid. Stop putting your trust in others. Start becoming that ‘perfect’ shinobi you boast that you are Y/N. It won’t save our village, it won’t get those people their lives back. You will do so little, it won’t even matter by the time you’re my age, or even your death.”

She burst in to tears once again. Younger me couldn’t be upset at her, she was already upset with herself for having to end her career so early and our father leaving. I let her take that anger out on me, as long as it was never directed towards my sister and she never had to see it. 

“W-what’s wrong, Y/N?” I feel the small tug at my pajamas as my little sister clings tightly against my leg. I can only put a smile on my face as I lift her small frame,” moms sad because we aren’t getting the sleep we need, how about I tuck you back in to bed?” 

I still feel the pain in my eye sockets from crying throughout the rest of that night. Betrayal from my own mother and someone else I thought I’d loved. 

The genjutsu fades once again, unknown scenery flourishes around me. I look down to see I now bear the Akatsuki robe. I look forward to the faceless crowd that slowly comes in to focus, fingers pointing as they all unanimously mumble the word,” traitor.”

It becomes louder as the people begin encircling me, cornering me off like an injured animal on display. Several faces become distinct, my mother, my sister, Shikaku sensei and his friends, even the hokage that had just given his life for the village. As several kunai impale me, the genjutsu turns to red as the pain sets in.

I soon feel the gracious drops of rain replacing the stabbing ghost pains, quickly becoming a downpour, the genjutsu fades completely. I now realize why Kakashi had been so drained earlier, if it wasn’t for the ice cold adrenaline, I would’ve been passed out already.

“As you can see, we’ve met before. We were only mindless children then, cloaked by masks to hide our true identity.” He drops to a solemn tone, tilting his head upwards to bask in the quickly chilling rain before his red eyes flash back to me,” no matter how similar our paths are, our fates deserve to end differently. if you choose this life, it’s only the same. But you risk having your identity known nationwide and your idealistic life thrown away. Do you choose to face death everyday? Do you choose to betray a village you call home?” 

In the time it takes me to blink, he’s now mere inches from my face, hand outstretched,” if you can say yes, your heart is in the wrong place. Turn around and go back to the leaf. Do not pursue me any further, Y/N.”

Two of his fingers ghost over my brows for just a second, I can barely notice the thoughts running behind his tired eyes, but the slight flick of his view to the left gives him away. He decides to retract his fingers, and drapes his other hand to rest over the top of my head while I drop to my knees. My Jonin vest feels heavy with rain, maybe even regret that i didn’t even remember one of my closest friends as a child, maybe even my first love, but most of all the one who made it seem I wasn’t capable of loving anyone else. 

“How could I not remember anything you just showed me?” I babble, looking up to his now normal eyes as tears bubble at my lashes, only to be concealed by the rain. 

“Because It was a burden I relieved you of. You should be thankful.” He answers coolly, refusing either of us the blessing of breaking eye contact. I flick a collection of tears and water angrily from my face,” younger me was in love with you. We loved each other. You can’t deny that.”

His eyes trickle down to the hand fidgeting with the metal rod at my side, his face illuminating against a streak of lightning,” You’re a fool to think an auditory genjutsu would even begin to work on me.”

“No, but metal rods are great conductors of electricity.” I seethe, reaching my musical rod above me to the sky as I grip his arm that still rested atop my head. It was a weak last ditch effort, i couldn’t subdue him, but I could at least kill us both. As quickly as the white steak shoots down towards us, we’re transported further in to the forest. My hand is slightly burnt, but I find myself furled tightly in Itachi’s arms, back to his chest as his cloak billows around us in the increasing winds. I chuckle slightly,” so, you do still care about me.”

“Nonsense, I just prevented you from unnecessarily ending both of our lives.” Itachi utters out, clearing his throat.

“Bullshit. You could’ve let me fry in that lightning strike and saved yourself, easily.” I assert my dominance, twisting in his arms to face him as he refuses to let go. He looks down, smirking as he smoothes away a few strands of hair that cling to my face,” if I could love as easily as I fought against others, you would’ve been mine the day I bandaged your adolescent hand. This however, is not a life for love. My destiny is to die and I refuse for you to have any part of it.”

“Then just give me this moment.” I exhale, bringing a hand to rest on the side of his face,” I’ve just learned about you all over again and I refuse to let you leave without a word just like when we were kids.”

“You seen what I did to my clan.” He reminds me quietly.

“And for some reason, I feel like your hand was forced in to doing it. The Itachi I just witnessed loved his clan. He loved the leaf village. He defended the village he betrayed.” I share my quick observation. 

“This conversation is over.” Itachi warns, squinting his eyes in remorse and possibly a hint of anger. I just knew I was right. And if I’m able to return to the village, I’ll have some research to do. 

“If you don’t want to talk about it, then you’ll have to find a damn good way to shut me up, because I have a lot of questions.” I shoot back, anxiety of not knowing the story creeps against my body. And just as I’m about to start my rampage of questions, his lips crash against mine and his hands grip tightly at my shoulders, letting the cool rain water dripping from us both clash together, pooling down to our chins before it drips against the cloak that weakly offers us the tiniest bit of shelter. As he pulls away, his eyes flutter slowly, taking in my look of confusion. Sadly for him, it’s only created more questions, but most of all it also created answers.

“You still love our village. You still love me.” I gasp out looking at the furrow in his angering brows,” and to continue in protecting the things I love, you must not interfere or prod any further. Return to the village before you end up in the same position. This is my last warning, Y/N. Or this will end badly for the both of us.”

He pushes me against my shoulders, sending my body head first to the ground frozen, in a state of shock as the world melds to a red haze. Just as I hit the ground, an inky black feather drops on my face, restarting the chain of events over again. And again. And again. Each time I fall, the feather drops, I smack in to the ground and Itachi’s face melds against my vision as the sequence drones on for what feels like hours,” do you wish to be stuck in a loop of constant suffering? Living out your days where every last one is the same, ending with an unbearable pain… just to realize it’ll happen again. And again. And again. This is the constant pain you will feel outside of the village as a rogue. You don’t understand that by pressing further on this matter, by seeking me purposefully after this point, my only choice would regretfully be having to kill you.”

A scream tears at my throat, only to be cut off from hitting the ground again, and after what felt like a whole day stuck in the same loop, I find myself on the ground mere seconds from passing out once again. I look up to see Itachi’s face hovering above mine and feel his knees supporting my head. He swiftly brushes a rain soaked strand of hair from my face and leans in for one last breathy statement,” I truly hope one day you’ll be strong enough to understand. When that day comes, I will be long gone but I will never ask for your forgiveness.”

As my eyes shut, he scoops down for one last kiss and disappears with the sound of a ghost. Silence ushers a single black feather to land against my cheek, allowing me to finally give in to the depleted chakra ebbing towards unconsciousness. 

Bells. The pain of having to hear those stupid bells. A single chirp awakens me in a startle, grasping at the sterile white blanket around me as I gasp in the stale air. 

“Hey, lay down damnit. You’ve gone and gotten yourself in to enough trouble already, Y/N.” Shikaku sensei grumbles from the bedside, slamming me backwards as gently as possible as he sets my bell staff against the table.

“Why are you here sensei? Don’t you have more important village duties to attend to?” I mumble out, finally relaxing enough to stare at the ceiling.

He groans, pondering what he’ll say next,” with a lack of Jonin from the recent attack, Asuma rang in a favor to help track you so they could get Kakashi Hatake to immediate medical attention. We first found Guy almost six miles from you, stuck in a genjutsu. Wonder who would be rash enough to do that...”

“How’s Kakashi?” I ask, refusing to meet what I assume is his drained and less than pleased face.

“He’ll be in medical care for a while. Same goes for you. You’re almost worse off than him. With how much you two get in to trouble, I’m starting to wonder if you’re related. Anything else you want to ask, kid?” He questions, most likely already knowing the answer. I turn to look in to his unimpressed eyes,” I should ask you that first.”

He finally smirks,” we’ll keep this conversation between us so long as I don’t have to pry it out of you.”

I could always appreciate the fatherly bond Shikaku established since my early chunin days, realizing my own mother could barely provide the support or parental love for my sister and I. Shikamaru had even called me big sister begrudgingly. Shikaku finally parts his lips after thinking on it,” why did you put Guy under a genjutsu?”

So he knew it was my genjutsu after all.

“His taijitsu was too weak against our target. We were tailing the man that left Kakashi in the state he’s in now. I only did it to protect him.” I answer truthfully. It was best to avoid seeing Guy hurt, even if I feel no romantic attraction to all of his… not too subtle advancements. 

“So you proceeded to pursue someone as a one person unit you knew you wouldn’t win against? How smart. It’s a miracle you made it back with just depleted chakra and a burnt hand. It’s almost as if the target took pity on you.” He ponders, slowly moving his eyes back to meet mine in confirmed and definite disappointment.

“I was just able to use my staff as a lightning conductor to buy myself some time before being placed under a genjutsu. No one was hurt. That’s all that matters.” I huff out, turning my body completely away in anger before Shikaku sounds off my bells again in contemplation,” a genjutsu user falling for another genjutsu is unlikely, unless this genjutsu came from the power of the sharingan. I also trained my students to not pursue dangerous opponents with those kind of powers. But I know I trained my students better than that, right Y/N?” 

“Are you just here to lecture me, or are you looking for answers?” I sneer out, slowly becoming agitated at his sensei personality taking over his fatherly one.

“Both. Just as I and my jutsu are useles in utter darkness, yours is useless when you don’t use your mind to think properly. I think we can silently agree you won’t try and pursue Itachi anymore and you’ll stay here until you’re fully healed. Then we will go through some training. You, me and Shikamaru. Just like old times.” Shikaku chuckles out, revealing that without even telling him, he already knew. I toss my pillow at him in an attempt to stop his laughing,” does this mean you’re old self is coming out of retirement as a sensei?”

“Don’t throw the word old out so loosely. I’m only returning as your sensei because I think your own mind is dulling with age.” He smirks, returning to his fatherly demeanor, but I could still see the subtle look of worry behind the joking facade. I refused to notify him of my actual encounter with Itachi, but he leads me to believe he knew of our past and it’s easy for a Nara to put two and two together.

“Yeah, yeah. Now get out so I can rest up and show you I’m just fine without a sensei.” I laugh out as he shakes his head,” prove me wrong, Y/N. I’m not bailing you out of any future mistakes.”

“I’m counting on that.”

With a final word, he kicks a resting foot off the wall and throws his hands in to his pocket to stroll out the open door nonchalantly. I needed rest, and I was told not to press any further. But I had research to do, even if it was from a hospital bed. I was going to get to the bottom of this, even if my destiny entwines to meet the same bitter end as Itachi presumes his will be.

[cordeliaflyte]

How to Draw a Perfect Circle

By Terrance Hayes

I can imitate the spheres of the model’s body, her head,

Her mouth, the chin she rests at the bend of her elbow

But nothing tells me how to make the pupils spiral

From her gaze. Everything the eye sees enters a circle,

The world is connected to a circle: breath spools from the nostrils

And any love to be open becomes an O. The shape inside the circle

Is a circle, the egg fallen outside the nest the serpent circles

Rests in the serpent’s gaze the way my gaze rests on the model.

In a blind contour drawing the eye tracks the subject

Without observing what the hand is doing. Everything is connected

By a line curling and canceling itself like the shape of a snake

Swallowing its own decadent tail or a mind that means to destroy itself,

A man circling a railway underpass before attacking a policeman.

To draw the model’s nipples I have to let myself be carried away.

I love all the parts of the body. There are as many curves

As there are jewels of matrimony, as many whirls as there are teeth

In the mouth of the future: the mute pearls a bride wears to her wedding,

The sleeping ovaries like the heads of riders bunched in a tunnel.

The doors of the subway car imitate an O opening and closing,

In the blood the O spirals its helix of defects, genetic shadows,

But there are no instructions for identifying loved ones who go crazy.

When one morning a black man stabs a black transit cop in the face

And the cop, bleeding from his eye, kills the assailant, no one traveling

To the subway sees it quickly enough to make a camera phone witness.

The scene must be carried on the tongue, it must be carried

On the news into the future where it will distract the eyes working

Lines into paper. This is what blind contour drawing conjures in me.

At the center of God looms an O, the devil believes justice is shaped

Like a zero, a militant helmet or war drum, a fist or gun barrel,

A barrel of ruined eggs or skulls. To lift anything from a field

The lifter bends like a broken O. The weight of the body

Lowered into a hole can make anyone say Oh: the onlookers,

The mother, the brothers and sisters. Omen begins with an O.

When I looked into my past I saw the boy I had not seen in years

Do a standing backflip so daring the onlookers called him crazy.

I did not see a moon as white as an onion but I saw a paper plate

Upon which the boy held a plastic knife and sopping meat.

An assailant is a man with history. His mother struggles

To cut an onion preparing a meal to be served after the funeral.

The onion is the best symbol of the O. Sliced, a volatile gas stings

The slicer’s eyes like a punishment clouding them until they see

What someone trapped beneath a lid of water sees:

A soft-edged world, a blur of blooms holding a coffin afloat.

The onion is pungent, its scent infects the air with sadness,

All the pallbearers smell it. The mourners watch each other,

They watch the pastor’s ambivalence, they wait for the doors to open,

They wait for the appearance of the wounded one-eyed victim

And his advocates, strangers who do not consider the assailant’s funeral

Appeasement. Before that day the officer had never fired his gun

In the line of duty. He was chatting with a cabdriver

Beneath the tracks when my cousin circled him holding a knife.

The wound caused no brain damage though his eyeball was severed.

I am not sure how a man with no eye weeps. In the Odyssey

Pink water descends the Cyclops’s cratered face after Odysseus

Drives a burning log into it. Anyone could do it. Anyone could

Begin the day with his eyes and end it blind or deceased,

Anyone could lose his mind or his vision. When I go crazy

I am afraid I will walk the streets naked, I am afraid I will shout

Every fucked up thing that troubles or enchants me, I will try to murder

Or make love to everybody before the police handcuff or murder me.

Though the bullet exits a perfect hole it does not leave perfect holes

In the body. A wound is a cell and portal. Without it the blood runs

With no outlet. It is possible to draw handcuffs using loops

Shaped like the symbol for infinity, from the Latin infinitas

Meaning unboundedness. The way you get to anything

Is context. In a blind contour it is not possible to give your subject

A disconnected gaze. Separated from the hand the artist’s eye

Begins its own journey. It could have been the same for the Cyclops,

A giant whose gouged eye socket was so large a whole onion

Could fit into it. Separated from the body the eye begins

Its own journey. The world comes full circle: the hours, the harvests,

When the part of the body that holds the soul is finally decomposed

It becomes a circle, a hole that holds everything: blemish, cell,

Womb, parts of the body no one can see. I watched the model

Pull a button loose on her jeans and step out of them

As one might out of a hole in a blue valley, a sea. I found myself

In the dark, I found myself entering her body like a delicate shell

Or soft pill, like this curved thumb of mine against her lips.

You must look without looking to make the perfect circle.

The line, the mind must be a blind continuous liquid

Until the drawing is complete.

[balbigalum]

Hi, if you’re okay with requests could you do anything for Helaena x Daemon’s child reader?

OKAY i was loving where this was going and then mid-way through it i realized i had messed up the timelines so for the sake of this little blurb you have to imagine that alicent is way older than Rhaenyra and that alicent's kids are closer to rhaenyra in age because i wrote this around rhaenyra and laenor's wedding lol

Your father's failed marriage to your mother had only produced one living heir: You. The sad union between Daemon Targaryen and Rhea Royce. You hardly knew your father, growing up in the Vale with your mother, as a child you had asked her about him. You knew how important the Targaryen name was, you had read about it in books with your septa and every once in a while a passing bard would sing a song about dragons for a coin. Yet, you didn't see your father often, he had never taken you riding on dragonback or gifted you a dragon egg. You didn't look like him and even as a child you couldn't help to wonder if that had to do with your father's cold treatment, truthfully you didn't feel like a Targaryen at all, it didn't feel right to wear the house colors or claim your blood from old valyria. So for the most part you didn't. You thought of yourself as a Royce rather than a Targaryen and you grew to be content with that.

Until your mother died. 

The day your mother died was grim and unforgiving, she had left early in the morning on a hunt only to fall from her horse and snap her neck. The thought of her neck breaking sent a shiver up your back. There had been tears at the funeral but also anger, you could sense your uncle's wrath, you worried but your septa assured you: "Grief makes horrible things out of men, child, you must be strong and face the Stranger bravely" and so you did, you stood by your mother's casket, forehead high and proud, even when people commented of your father's absence.

Your father didn't show up at the funeral, and he didn't either for six days, on the seventh day he landed his dragon at the gates of Runestones and called for you. Your heart fluttered with hope, you thought that maybe your mother's untimely end had made your father reconsider his behavior, finally caring about his only child, but you were wrong he was here to take you to King's Landing. 

"Father, I'm not sure that's the best idea… Moth-" You shook your head, you were not going to speak of your mother with him. "Runestone is restless, we need to stay here and deal with it… Why don't you come back here?" You asked him hopefully, it was true, with your mother's passing you and your uncle were left to set any dispute or arrangement between the lords and ladies from half the vale, having your father by your side was something you didn't know you needed until now. He shook his head. 

"Your uncle can deal with any thieving lord and hag of a lady just fine by himself, I need you in King's Landing with me… There is a wedding to be held, your cousin Rhaenyra is getting married and we're not turning down the invitation." He explained. You frowned, you had never seen your cousin Rhaenyra or her siblings in your life, you had been told the King met you when you were a baby but that was all of the contact you had ever had with your family. 

"Father, I don't think that's in the best interests-" He rolled his eyes and spoke before you could finish.  

"Of who? Your uncle? Because he can't get his hands on you and manipulate you to run Runestone on your behalf?" You were taken aback for his comment, your uncle was a good man and he was more than ready to prepare you to rule. 

"He would never-"

"But he would. Why do you think I stayed away from this place for so long?" He got closer to you, grabbing your hand in his. "You're my only child and I'm asking you to come with me to King's Landing, our true home… and not this shit hole of a place." He sounded mocking and hateful when he spoke of the Vale and it broke your heart, still he was your father and even if he was asking you didn't have much choice in the matter.

-

Your departure from the Vale was quick, your uncle tried talking Daemon out of it but he simply ignored him, before you left your uncle promised you he was going to do everything in his power for you to come back to Runestone unharmed. 

The dragonride was scary, Daemon didn't allow you much time to get acclimated to the beast before setting you on top of it. Caraxes was his name, he was red and bigger than anything you'd ever seen. The wind felt cold against your skin and your knuckles were white from how hard you were gripping its ropes. Your father only laughed, loud and from his chest. 

"You will learn to love dragons," He yelled for you to hear him. "You are a Targaryen after all" You felt nausea on your throat and had to use most of your focus on not getting sick on top of Caraxes, praying for the ride to go quicker. 

King's Landing was scary and big and full of people, nothing compared to the vale, it made you feel small like a little child holding onto Daemon's sleeve. The capital was packed with lords and ladies, coming from all parts of the Kingdom for the wedding. 

You found it odd when your father took you to a huge white house instead of the Red Keep, truly you didn't know much about the royal's lifestyle in King's Landing but you had assumed your father resided there, he left you under the care of a woman. She had black hair and an accent, her name was Mysaria and said to own the house. 

Mysaria's presence was cold and distant, yet he prepared you for the wedding, your father had to get you a dress and jewels that were according to the event, red and black, you frowned, you were used to wearing bronze. By the time you were done Mysaria commented on your beauty, she was a beautiful woman herself, but dread still held your throat closed, you didn't have it on you to please small courtesies from Ladies. You smiled, a plain smile that quickly dropped. 

-

The Red Keep was imposing and bigger than any other castle you had ever seen, the inner yards filled with lords and ladies. You gripped your father's arm as you felt everybody's eyes on you, you could see them whispering among each other, judging and pointing at you two. You looked up at Daemon trying to find and answer but he kept his gaze up and proud. The doors to the main hall opened and when the guards announced your presence the room seemed to freeze for a second. You wondered how welcomed you were at this place, you walked next to your father while he smiled, a bragging smile. You both made your way to the high table, standing in front of the King and Princess Rhaenyra. 

"Brother," Daemon announced. "This is my daughter, I thought it was time for the whole family to be reunited, what better chance to do so than Rhaenyra's wedding." He kept his eyes fixed on Rhaenyra, hypnotized by her. The king made a face and followed it with a polite smile. "I'm glad you're here, Daemon," He looked at you. "You have grown into a beautiful Lady, dear niece." King Viserys said. Rhaenyra made a small noise on the back of her throat that drew the attention back to her. 

"Um… I've heard about your Lady wife, uncle, I'm sorry to hear… If there is anything we can do–" 

"Oh yes, what a tragedy." Your father cut her and it made your blood boil, you saw Rhaenyra shift her eyes from him to you, mouthing a small "Sorry." in your direction, you nodded and found your sit, you didn't need to hear more of this conversation. 

You sat bitterly by yourself, watching your father flirt with half of the Ladies of the court, including your cousin Rhaenyra. Your food remained untouched on your plate, you wanted to go home, this was a mockery to your late mother and your own blood, you didn't belong here. 

At some point when dancing had begun you sneaked off from the hall, decided to explore the Red Keep by yourself, you walked among the long corridors angry and muttering to yourself when you heard some voices coming from around the corner. 

"Ew, Helaena put that down," It was a young man's voice, he sounded whiney and maybe drunk. "Helaena! I'm warning you… Keep that away from me." A small giggle followed it, it sounded like a young girl, Helaena probably. 

"It is not dangerous, Aegon, it has no poison." 

You rounded the corner to watch the scene, two silver haired royals were playing around, the girl was holding a dark green spider half the size of her palm while the young man acted disgusted trying to stay away from it, that erupted another giggle from Helaena, even if that wasn't his intention. Her giggles were contagious and you found yourself smiling at them.

"I will tell mother if–" The young man, Aegon, became aware of your presence. "...Yes?" He said, raising a silver colored eyebrow in your direction, suddenly you felt on the spot.

"Um… Hello," It was obvious this was your family, their valyrian features were a dead giveaway. "I came here with Prince Daemon… I'm– I'm his daughter." The sentence rolled in your tongue uncomfortably, you weren't used to speaking of your father let alone introduce yourself as his daughter, generally one look at you and your bronze armor was enough for people to know you were a Rhoyce but here you had to be reminded you were a Targaryen.  

"Daemon is here? I thought the king had vanished him all those years ago?" Aegon said with a scoff, taking a swing from his cup. Helaena was crouched down on the floor, her hands one over the other, holding the spider between them. The hall light was dimmed, illuminated only by small flames along the walls, the shadows made Helaena look like an angel, bright among them. Her hair was braided and her dress was a light color, everything about her reminded you of light. 

"Whatever," Aegon said at your lack of answer. "I'm going to find a creature with long legs for myself." He added, walking past you in the direction of the gathering. 

"It won't sting if you treat it kindly." Helaena commented under her breath and lifted herself, her hands in front of you presenting the spider to you. You were used to bugs, the vale had all sorts, but generally you would squeeze them under your boot instead of treating them like pets.

"I see." You said, your hands stiff against your sides, unsure of touching the green insect. 

"Here," She said, grabbing your hand quickly and letting the spider crawl onto your palm, you gasped. "See? Nothing to be scared of." Your mouth pressed into a line, unsure of what to do. Helaena's hand was still under yours and she was staring at you, waiting for a reaction. 

"I guess so." You said.

"You seem troubled." Helaena said, she was giving you a puzzling look. You opened your mouth to apologize, it wasn't the spider what was causing you trouble but she spoke before you could. 

"I just… I've never been to King's Landing." You offered as an explanation and she hummed softly. At her lack of response you found yourself filling in the blanks. "I mean, my father… I've never been close to him and now he shows up and takes me away from what I'm used to… I think I'm exhausted." 

"Is not the green but the red and black, isn't it?" She said, her fingers now on your palm, allowing the spider to crawl into hers. Red and black, was it so easy to tell? 

Helaena finally put the spider down, letting it crawl into the small cracks of the Red Keep.

"Back to her family." She said, "Her home." You found yourself staring at the small hole the spider had gone into and sighed. "I don't like big crowds, too many people, too loud." Halaena said and catched your attention. "Come," She offered you a hand. "My chambers are this way." You followed her without a question, a small urge to follow her anywhere bubbling under your skin, fascinated by the way her pearly silver hair waved behind her back, she reminded you of moonshine.

Since then your days were spent in the company of Helaena, she was a guiding hand for you in King's Landing, teaching you what you needed to know and sharing small secrets with you. Her bug collection and even her own fascination with dragons, every once in a while you two would sneak into the dragonpit, she would take you down the confusing rock corridors until you found her. Dreamfyre, Helaena's favorite, the sight of the beast would often make you tremble but Halaena was quick to comfort you. You knew she was to claim the dragon soon and she would often promise to take you on rides, assuring you she would take flight softly to not scare you, in exchange you convinced her you would teach her how to use a bow. 

You often thought about what your father had said and he was right, you would learn to love dragons.

[bonniebird]

Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen x Reader

Requested by Anon​

Halloween event

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Warnings: Themes of death, themes of murder. Mentions of potential beheading

You curtsied and wobbled. You had practised for hours with your governess. Of course, you had to wobble in front of the king, his daughter, his brother and his court. Standing straight and trying to play it off you looked up at the king.

“Your father is not in attendance?” He asked you.

“No your grace.” You answered quickly.

“He truly has sent his heir instead?” Rhaenyra asked. She politely bowed her head to her father who quickly motioned for you to answer.

“I am to appease you. While my father weds another and makes a son.” You answered quietly.

“Appease me. He does me wrong and sends a… Rhaenyra, take them to another room.” The king gestured at you. Rhaenyra stepped towards you and took you by the arm as she led you away.

“Will I be beheaded? Father's new wife said they must make haste with a child because I will be beheaded. Or fed to a dragon?” You asked boldly. Rhaenyra tutted her tongue and muttered in Valyrian. You recognised a few words, curse words that would have startled you if she had not looked so thunderously furious.

“Father would not let that happen. Though I cannot say what he will do to your father.” Rhaenyra muttered. Sensing that Rhaenyra would be best kept as an ally, you made no objection. Though you didn’t think you’d object too terribly to your father spending some time in prison or having to come face to face with a dragon. Your mother's family had suspected for years that he had been attempting to kill her. The timing of the new lady of the house and your mother's death was all too well timed for your liking and the loyal handmaidens and workers who had severed your mother had all been fired or had fled. Perhaps Rhaenyra would listen to your woes if you became friends. Perhaps her stern stare would make him nervous enough to confess.

Rhaenyra led you to her chambers where you sat at a small table. In the distance, you could see a golden dragon. You had not ever seen them in person before as your father liked to keep a wide berth of the king seeing as they did not get along. Though once the queen had visited your mother. She had descended upon the place and sent your father away. Even she had thought he was the cause for her regular bouts of near-deathly, inexplicable, illness.

You sat together and drank what was served to you by nervous maidens. Fruit was brought at the wave of a delicate hand and set before Rhaenyra who insisted that you partake with her.

Hours passed and the afternoon slipped into an apprehensive early evening. The king's brother arrived as torches began to be lit outside in preparation for the descending darkness of the evening.

“Uncle. What is the decision?” Rhaenyra asked.

“Three handmaidens and a young man who was given lordship over a small holding have all come forward and claim that your father had attempted to murder your mother, dear friend of the queen, and have pled that the King spares you of any attachments to your father. Is it true that he attempted this?” Daemon asked you.

“Uncle?” Rhaenyra said now sounding curious as they both stared at you.

“I have no proof. But I believe it is so. When the queen graced us with her visit and sent my father away she suddenly recovered and as soon as the queen left and my father returned. She seemed to fade again. My mother passed and he was wed to his new wife before her funeral. Suddenly we had funds and new lords I had never heard of supporting him. It is all too suspicious to be unsuspicious.” You said and fixed your stare on the dragon buckles of his shirt.

“You witness this statement?” He asked and Rhaenyra nodded as he turned to her.

“I do. I would agree to hear it in any court my father holds.” Rhaenyra answered. 

“Very well.” Daemon said and turned to leave.

“That is all?” You asked. He turned and looked at Rhaenyra who smiled slightly.

“(Y/N) fears that you may take their head from their shoulders or feed them to a dragon.” Rhaenyra explained. “We will not. You will be asked to renounce your father's house and return loyalty back to your mother’s house, in the name of the queen. Who has pleaded that you be forgiven for whatever treachery your father had performed and plans to perform still? Your mother was beloved by the queen and your father stood in the fallout of the adoration. Besides, you are far too small to feed to a dragon.” With a sly smile, he nodded his head and left.

After a while, someone was fetched to take you to your rooms, ones arranged by the queen who said, via the messenger, that she would be by to see you shortly once everything was in order.

“You will no doubt be staying for a while. Your father may retaliate seeing as your renouncement of him, will half his holdings. Many of the ships and resources belonged to your mother.” Rhaenyra said as she led you through the many halls.

“They did. He said they were all his.” You mumbled.

“Almost all his ships were hers. In fact. Mother speaks of one ship she had made for you for your name day. I am sure she will demand its return to Kingslanding.” Rhaenyra said. She paused in a hallway with a locked door and sighed, leading you down a different corridor instead. "You may go anywhere you like in the castle, except where the doors are locked."

“Yes.” You said in a tone that you had noted what she said rather seriously.

“Here we are.” She said and led you into several chambers. A few old and faded banners of your mother's house had been flung around and haphazardly hung, clearly in a rush. “Ah. These are a few of my handmaidens. You may trust them. No doubt mother will see to you finding some of your own or perhaps escorting your handmaidens that served you at home.” Rhaenyra said. She showed you around the rooms and you both stood on the small balcony in the little greeting room. Queen Aemma arrived at your rooms, pregnant and with a nervous maiden fretting after her.

“Dear child. That monster of a father of yours.” She gushed as she reached a hand out for you. You curtsied and she swatted at you, insisting that outside of formality you need not fawn for her. “Now my Rhaenyra will look after you. Word has been sent to your cousins in Dorne and Highgarden. Daemon will be leading the charge to deal with your father though my dear I am afraid I cannot speak to whether he will survive Daemon. He is rather dastardly.” You were uncertain if the queen spoke of your father or her brother-in-law so you simply bobbed awkwardly and thanked her as you helped her to a seat.

“What will happen to the smallfolk of the hold?” Rhaenyra asked her mother.

“I believe that the young man who spoke up today is to receive what lands belong to your father. I am on the warpath to see that all that should have belonged to your dear mother and grandmother are returned to you.” She turned from Rhaenyra as she spoke and gently took your hand. Her face soured for a moment before she added. “Your grandfather thought your father would submit to your mother. How wrong he was. But we can simply fix what has been broken and hope all shall mend. Now I must go and rest but Rhaenyra will fetch you in the morning. You shall have breakfast with me and we shall talk before you attend the king's council. If all goes well within two days you will be free of your father's treachery.” She smiled and rose to her feet, her handmaiden fretting about her and helping her up while Rhaenyra smoothly moved through the room and helped her mother.

“If all does not go well?” You asked. “Then I shall be grateful I could at least save you.” The queen said before leaving.

“Daemon will do what must be done. Honour will be restored to you and the memory of your mother. Perhaps my father will allow a statute in her honour. Beneath your window?” Rhaenyra smiled kindly and reached out to squeeze your hand. “All will be well.”

“There you are!” Alicent said as she hurried into the room. She greeted you and her smile fell. “Father said we are to sup together tonight but by the looks of your faces, neither or you wish for dinner. What has happened?” 

Rhaenyra motioned for a seat to be fetched for Alicent and a small dinner was brought for the three of you. Alicent was filled in on the tale from the meeting of your mother and the queen as children to Alicents arrival in the room. By the time you had finished eating Alicent’s smile had slid from her face and there was little hope of it ever returning.

“My mother is right. (Y/N) has not done the wrongs. It was cruel of your father to send you here. He has tried to take advantage of my mother's affection.” Rhaenyra said and nodded firmly at you.

“It is a foolish thing to do if he indeed took your mother from you (Y/N). Perhaps I shall ask my father if he may have a crop of flowers from Highgarden planted in the gardens beneath your window. In her honour.” Alicent said kindly. You smiled and nodded.

“A statue and a flowerbed. It is more than she received at home. He did not listen to her final wishes. To be resting with my grandparents.” You looked an odd mixture of mournful but happy. At least here she would be remembered and adored.

“We shall ask tomorrow morning. After you have spoken with the council. I know that Corlys would agree. Father cannot object as Mother would agree as well.” Rhaenyra said. The conversation soon slipped away into comfortable gossip as Alicent, with some interruptions for Rhaenyra, filled you in on what your life would be like in Kingslanding.

Rhaenyra tags:

[beastbent]

How to Draw a Perfect Circle, by Terrance Hayes (2014)

I can imitate the spheres of the model’s body, her head, Her mouth, the chin she rests at the bend of her elbow But nothing tells me how to make the pupils spiral

From her gaze. Everything the eye sees enters a circle, The world is connected to a circle: breath spools from the nostrils And any love to be open becomes an O. The shape inside the circle

Is a circle, the egg fallen outside the nest the serpent circles Rests in the serpent’s gaze the way my gaze rests on the model. In a blind contour drawing the eye tracks the subject

Without observing what the hand is doing. Everything is connected By a line curling and canceling itself like the shape of a snake Swallowing its own decadent tail or a mind that means to destroy itself,

A man circling a railway underpass before attacking a policeman. To draw the model’s nipples I have to let myself be carried away. I love all the parts of the body. There are as many curves

As there are jewels of matrimony, as many whirls as there are teeth In the mouth of the future: the mute pearls a bride wears to her wedding, The sleeping ovaries like the heads of riders bunched in a tunnel.

The doors of the subway car imitate an O opening and closing, In the blood the O spirals its helix of defects, genetic shadows, But there are no instructions for identifying loved ones who go crazy.

When one morning a black man stabs a black transit cop in the face And the cop, bleeding from his eye, kills the assailant, no one traveling To the subway sees it quickly enough to make a camera phone witness.

The scene must be carried on the tongue, it must be carried On the news into the future where it will distract the eyes working Lines into paper. This is what blind contour drawing conjures in me.

At the center of God looms an O, the devil believes justice is shaped Like a zero, a militant helmet or war drum, a fist or gun barrel, A barrel of ruined eggs or skulls. To lift anything from a field

The lifter bends like a broken O. The weight of the body Lowered into a hole can make anyone say Oh: the onlookers, The mother, the brothers and sisters. Omen begins with an O.

When I looked into my past I saw the boy I had not seen in years Do a standing backflip so daring the onlookers called him crazy. I did not see a moon as white as an onion but I saw a paper plate

Upon which the boy held a plastic knife and sopping meat. An assailant is a man with history. His mother struggles To cut an onion preparing a meal to be served after the funeral.

The onion is the best symbol of the O. Sliced, a volatile gas stings The slicer’s eyes like a punishment clouding them until they see What someone trapped beneath a lid of water sees:

A soft-edged world, a blur of blooms holding a coffin afloat. The onion is pungent, its scent infects the air with sadness, All the pallbearers smell it. The mourners watch each other,

They watch the pastor’s ambivalence, they wait for the doors to open, They wait for the appearance of the wounded one-eyed victim And his advocates, strangers who do not consider the assailant’s funeral

Appeasement. Before that day the officer had never fired his gun In the line of duty. He was chatting with a cabdriver Beneath the tracks when my cousin circled him holding a knife.

The wound caused no brain damage though his eyeball was severed. I am not sure how a man with no eye weeps. In the Odyssey Pink water descends the Cyclops’s cratered face after Odysseus

Drives a burning log into it. Anyone could do it. Anyone could Begin the day with his eyes and end it blind or deceased, Anyone could lose his mind or his vision. When I go crazy

I am afraid I will walk the streets naked, I am afraid I will shout Every fucked up thing that troubles or enchants me, I will try to murder Or make love to everybody before the police handcuff or murder me.

Though the bullet exits a perfect hole it does not leave perfect holes In the body. A wound is a cell and portal. Without it the blood runs With no outlet. It is possible to draw handcuffs using loops

Shaped like the symbol for infinity, from the Latin infinitas Meaning unboundedness. The way you get to anything Is context. In a blind contour it is not possible to give your subject

A disconnected gaze. Separated from the hand the artist’s eye Begins its own journey. It could have been the same for the Cyclops, A giant whose gouged eye socket was so large a whole onion

Could fit into it. Separated from the body the eye begins Its own journey. The world comes full circle: the hours, the harvests, When the part of the body that holds the soul is finally decomposed

It becomes a circle, a hole that holds everything: blemish, cell, Womb, parts of the body no one can see. I watched the model Pull a button loose on her jeans and step out of them

As one might out of a hole in a blue valley, a sea. I found myself In the dark, I found myself entering her body like a delicate shell Or soft pill, like this curved thumb of mine against her lips.

You must look without looking to make the perfect circle. The line, the mind must be a blind continuous liquid Until the drawing is complete.

[rebeccasteventaylor]

Right, now to watch episode 2 in detail

Aziraphale and Crowley well aware they have to play demon/Angel and prompting each other but also taking the time to have a little chat and an catch up.

‘I have a permit’ how very Ron Swanson

Oh, Muriel and Aziraphale working together all the way back at Job’s time! And poor Aziraphale, absolutely horrified at the bet, and the murder of the children.

Aziraphale is the only one to take Sitis’s feelings into account and consider she might not want to lose her children and give birth another seven times. And he’s the only Angel to understand that the dead children will be still be a devastating loss.

Gabriel is dressed as the shop assistant in Open All Hours proving not only does Aziraphale watch old British sitcoms, he thinks that’s the way actual life works.

All those years watching Mad Men and I never knew Jon Hamm could be funny and also sing.

Although - given Shax says ‘the kind of miracle only the mightiest of archangels could have performed’ I thought she meant Gabriel but after what Crowley said later about being able to access the records - is it him?

Ok the song when Aziraphale goes into Maggie’s shop this time is the glorious and heart rending ‘You don’t have to say you love me’ sung by Dusty Springfield. I thinks it’s best I just show you the lyrics

When I said I needed you

You said you would always stay

It wasn't me who changed but you and now you've gone away

Don't you see that now you've gone

And I'm left here on my own

That I have to follow you and beg you to come home

You don't have to say you love me, just be close at hand

You don't have to stay forever, I will understand

Believe me, believe me, I can't help but love you.

Anyway - the book ‘Jim’ waves in Saraqael’s face is a Pratchett - The Colour of Magic. Now they may have chosen this Pratchett as it’s the first Discworld BUT it may also have been a clue to look at the colour of the magical plume - purple.

The big book Jim uses to try to swat the fly is The Wicked Bible which has the commandment ‘Thou shalt commit adultery’ in it.

Crowley keeping an eye on the strange man sitting at Aziraphale’s table in the pub. I dunno, first he has a naked man in his place and now this bloke is chatting him up. Crowley definitely does that ‘he belongs to me, matey’ swagger when he walks up. (Mr Brown’s newspaper headline is Nebraskan Woman Taught Duck to Play Accordion. I don’t know why that is in the Metro, which is a London based newspaper about London)

The newspaper the man behind Mr Brown is holding has the headline ‘unearthed mysterious sealed library found’ Clue to S3?

Ok, Crowley has obviously been thinking about situations to make people fall instantly in love for a while, considering how quick off the mark he is for ideas to make Nina and Maggie fall in love. And Crowley now canonically has seen Four Weddings and a Funeral. And probably other Richard Curtis films. Crowley is canonically a rom-com fan!

I love how they both have different views of Jane Austen. She did all that and had an affair with Clara…

That whole ‘fall in love at a ball’ thing sounds more Heyer than Austen to be honest.

Jon Hamm is so good. Can we keep him? Have him star in British comedy shows forever?

And back to Job and this time Aziraphale isn’t playing a part. He is genuinely trying to stop Crowley and he’s shaking and afraid and doesn’t want to do this but he must.

Wait - when did we think the first time Crowley called Aziraphale Angel was? Cos he calls him Angel in this scene. And look - Aziraphale can see the goodness in Crowley even this early on. He knows Crowley doesn’t want to kill the children even as Crowley is trying so hard to convince him he’s bad.

And then Aziraphale says he knew the Angel Crowley was and Crowley says that’s not him now and so Crowley knew all along that Aziraphale knew him as an Angel!

‘I’m a demon. I lied!’ Except Crowley didn’t lie - as soon as Aziraphale showed faith in him he saved the children. And Crowley is clicking again…

Aziraphale’s not drinking reminds me of Maggie’s not drinking.

Crowley getting him to try the food means thousands of years later Aziraphale will want to save the Earth because of little restaurants where they know him….it’s a way of making sure Aziraphale loves the Earth as much as he does.

Crowley being on ‘his side’ sounds so lonely to Aziraphale - perhaps this is where he starts to join him.

Crowley and Aziraphale teaming up to trick the angels for the first time. And the for the first time Aziraphale lies to the angels - not obscure the issue, not cleverly manoeuvre around it, but straightforward lie.

‘Our car’ And while Crowley sleeps in the car (perhaps it’s where he feels safest after he saw the bookshop burn and he was trapped in his flat) he must spend a lot of time in the bookshop to be getting a lot of use out of it.

Looking at the books Gabriel is looking at. It includes The Crow Road, the book Muriel reads later. I’ve read most of them and they’re all very good books.

‘It was a nice day’. Thats Good Omens. Gabriel was about to read Good Omens. I know several of us have written fanfics where Good Omens the book exists in the Good Omens universe.

Poor Aziraphale. So certain he’s going to Fall. So certain he deserves it. And Crowley ‘I’m not taking you to Hell, Angel’. And that’s where it starts, isn’t it? Crowley’s absolute determination that Hell will not get his hands on Aziraphale and neither will Heaven starts here, as they sit side by side in companionship. Aziraphale is so scared and Crowley is kind in his way and that urge to protect him starts here, I think, just like Aziraphale’s determination that Crowley will not be alone started in the cellar when Crowley said he was on his side and Aziraphale thought tang was lonely.

I don’t think anyone has ever been kind to Aziraphale before. And I don’t think anyone has just kept Crowley company before. And now Crowley admits - he needs a friend. And he will protect that friend - his only friend - from both Heaven and Hell.

[mach1nat1on]

Séraphin silently adjusts Cyrille’s wedding attire, peacefully quiet despite he busy halls outside the crown princes dressing room. Séraphin’s hand resting on the brooch decorated with the Lecair family crest after ensuring it’s secure. A sullen look on his face, barely hidden sorrow pooling in his eyes as though it’s a funeral. For Séraphin’s heart, it may as well be; his heart lost in the mountain of wedding gifts for the crown prince and a noble woman of high birth. Served with a shining ribbon in a beautiful box to be presented at the end of the ceremonies and parties.

The prince doesn’t know that though, even as he cups the cheek of his advisor, examining the younger mans face as if he could spot whats wrong. “You look like you’re sending me across the river to our deities above” the prince quips, fondly smiling as his advisor looks to him. “I just can’t believe you’re getting married before me” his advisor cheekily responds, as if his heart wasn’t stuck in his throat, desperate to string words together in a lovely confession. Yet Séraphin pulls away, and Cyrille is reminded again of how cold his hands feel when they aren’t cupping his dearest friends face.

“Best you get going, the preparations are almost done, your majesty.” Séraphin states, distant in tone as he walks to the other side of the room to act like he’s busy cleaning up a very small mess.

“already? here I was thinking I could enjoy my last moments of bachelordom for a while longer…”

“her highness is on her way, it’s rude to keep a lady waiting; especially your future bride”

Cyrille can’t help but notice the distance between them. Physically and emotionally.

“Must you be so proper? I remember when we first met. Wild and young as you climbed onto that horses back like you had done so a thousand times before” His majesty reminisces as he picks up a book, lessons from his now faraway youth. Cyrille continues speaking as he walks to Séraphin, a gentle smile on his face.

Séraphin doesn’t seem to notice, or care when he replies.

“It’s because I had, my mother had me riding horses before I could even run straight.”

“My point is my dear, you were always so free and happy, now you’re all serious and rule abiding-”

Suddenly, Séraphin can’t seem to pay attention to the books in his hand, or whatever else his majesty says after the words ‘my dear’. It makes the tips of his ears burn red, hiding his face by turning away and putting the remaining books onto the shelf in front of him. His red ears don’t go unnoticed, Cyrille’s laughter echoing in the room. Charming and warm like a stoked flame in winter. “And to think you’d turn such a lovely shade of red”

Séraphin stammers, collecting himself as he turns to his prince. “You-!”

Cyrille laughter slowly dies down again, a satisfied grin settling on his face as he looks to Séraphin with amusement dancing in his eyes.

“you better get to the wedding Cyrille! you’ll be late at this rate!” Séraphin changes the subject quickly, ignoring the flaring heat in his cheeks and the back of his neck.

“but what if I want to be late?”

“You absolutely cannot! not this time!” Séra crosses his arms, a stern look on his face. Eyeing the groom with a raised brow.

“Séra….” Cyrille pouts innocently, but it’s short lived as Séraphin winds up again.

“no! I will be the one in trouble if you’re late so shoo! you’re already ready, you just have to make it there on time!

The groom huffs, finally heading towards the door to leave. Just when Séraphin is ready to sink to the floor, his prince speaks up again.

“Séraphin”

“….yes?” worried, he looks to the prince. The door cracked open and he can simply feel the vulnerability the prince exudes in this moment.

“you’ll be with me till the end right?”

“of course, my prince.”

silence. uncomfortable silence.

“now go. go get married. do not leave the future Queen waiting”

“…right.”

[pxmun]

Being immortal is a heavy burden. One only a few can handle, others lose themselves to the grief of losing mortal loved ones.

Wendell once had a very special friend named Dinah. The girl had run away from home after learning her parents had arranged for her to be wed. Young Dinah didn't want to be betrothed, she didn't want to grow up, so she ran away to the island of Sodor.

She met Wendell, a silly narrow- gauge engine that loved to explore and admire the world around him. The other engines thought that Wendell was too silly and was always causing trouble due to his curiosity, but Dinah loved the engine's inquisitiveness and soon her and Wendell became best friends.

They'd spend their days exploring all around Sodor. From its castles to its caverns, to the tips of mountains and through the valleys, there was always something new to discover.

Dinah never went back home; she stayed on Sodor believing she would never have to grow up. However, she would meet a young entrepreneur who was looking to try and forge his own railway. The two fell in love and the young man soon became a part of Dinah and Wendell's family. With their help the NWR was formed.

Dinah became the mother of two boys, one would later be known as Sir Topham Hatt the first, while the other would earn the name Mr. Conductor do to his studies in Sodor's magic. Wendell's own magic would become more powerful and soon the other engines that used to see him as silly, now saw the engine as a powerful and helpful engine.

Dinah became so beloved by Sodor that its inhabitants would create a song in her honor. Wendell was very happy; he was happy to have his friend Dinah and he was happy to be a really useful engine.

Sadly though, all good things must come to an end. Dinah got older, and older, and older; she lived long enough to see her great grandchildren. One night she decided to rest in the shed with Wendell. The two recounted memories of days before and laughed at some mishaps they had. The two would eventually fall asleep, both smiling as they did. The next morning Wendell would wake up, eager for whatever waited for him and his friend that day. He saw Dinah still sleeping soundly on his front foot plate. The engine greeted his friend, but there was no response, he tried again, nothing. Concerned, Wendell did the one thing he knew for sure would wake Dinah up. Wendell blew his whistle, its haunting poop poop waking up the inhabitants of the Hatt house. Ethan and his eldest grandchild rushed out to see what the commotion was all about.  To Ethan’s utter horror, he saw his wife lying motionless on the front footplate of Wendell, the engine in complete hysterics. Ethan had his grandchild run back into the house and call the doctor while the elderly man tried to console the magic engine. Dinah had departed during the night, when the doctor arrived there was nothing, she could do for the Hatt family. A funeral was held, and Wendell stood there in front of the lovely carved casket, begging whatever deity laid beyond the veil to let this all just be one big joke. He hoped that at any moment his friend would pop out of the casket and startle the crowd by shouting “Boo”. Wendell wouldn’t be crossed at her at all if she pulled a prank like that, he would just be happy that Dinah was alright. Sadly, though that didn’t happen.  The casket was lowered, Ethan stood against Wendell as the grounds keepers began filling the hole. Ethan didn’t like to do this, but he had to have Wendell stand there and watch until the grave was filled. Just for the engine to realize that their family member wasn’t coming back. It was one of the hardest things Ethan had to do, but Ethan cared about Wendell, he knew how much the engine meant to his wife and family.  During the years after Dinah’s passing, the Hatt family did their best to help Wendell. Ethan though was the magic engine’s biggest support and tried his best to get Wendell out of the depression he had fallen into. With Lady’s help the older engine was able to find the strength to return to the railway, though he was completely silent. Wendell hardly talked to anyone and if he did it was only about things related to the railway or answering Sir Topham Hatt, who by then was just starting out as head of the railway. It wasn’t until Ethan’s passing that Wendell became out of hand. At first it was just a few mean looks, then Wendell began lashing out at passengers for just the smallest criticism. Then the engine was taking parts from the scrap yard. It wasn’t until the farmer informed the Fat Controller that his sick animals were going missing during the time Wendell was scheduled to stop at the nearby station that Sir Topham Hatt knew he had to do something.  Together with his younger brother George or better known as Mr. Conductor at that time. The two had come to the sad realization that Wendell was becoming too dangerous for the railway, neither wanted to scrap their engine family member and instead decided to seal Wendell away. It was cruel but the two had lied to Wendell telling the magic engine that they had seen their mother up in a cave at Whispering Waterfall. The two led the engine up to the falls. In the shadow of the cave Wendell saw the form of his friend. The engine wept with joy as he rushed in to greet his friend. Wendell’s steam mustache wrapped around his friend and pulled her in for a big hug, but during the hug Wendell felt that something was off. He checked on Dinah and made a horrifying discovery; the figure in his grasps wasn’t his beloved friend, instead it was a scarecrow made to look like Dinah. He had been tricked. By the time Wendell made the realization, it was too late. Sir Topham Hatt and Mr. Conductor slammed the doors shut behind Wendell. The engine tried to smash through the closed doors, but they were too strong. Wendell tried using his magic to escape, with a huff and a puff the Wendell conjured up a torrent of steam in an attempt to rot and rust the door. However, it didn’t work, Mr. Conductor had carved runes along the waterfall to prevent Wendell from using his powers to escape.  Wendell shouted out in anger, demanding that the brothers release him. Dinah’s sons held back their tears as they walked away from the falls. To ensure that no one from the outside accidentally released Wendell, Mr. Conductor found a large boulder and carved a special rune into it. Sir Topham Hatt then ordered the giant rock to guard the shed from any trespassers until he or Mr. Conductor returned. The brothers hoped that they would be able to return soon with the help Wendell needed. Unfortunately, it never came, leaving Wendell to be stuck in the hidden shed. None of the other engines knew he was there, not even the narrow- gauge engines who passed by the falls on a daily basis. Time had made the Hatt family forget about their entombed family member. But things were going to start to change for the older magic engine. One day Wendell was having tea with Dinah, the scarecrow, the engine had some exciting news to share with his “friend”. “I did it my dear Dinah! I finally did it! I finally stabilized the spell for my big project”! Wendell grinned. The Dinah scarecrow said nothing, it just smiled like it always had. Wendell used his steam mustache to gently lift up the scarecrow and began twirling it around in a feeble attempt at dancing. “No longer will people have to fear the cold grasps of death, with this spell we’ll have that mean ole Grim Reaper running with his tail between his boney legs”! Wendell said triumphantly. Then Wendell remembered the rune. “Drats! That silly rune is still in place! How are we supposed to get out of here and help Sodor”? Wendell puffed crossly. The Dinah scarecrow said nothing, but to Wendell, he believed his “friend” was conversing with him. “Hmm, slide a few S.O.S notes under the door? My dear Dinah that is brilliant! Even though we can’t get through the door ourselves, surely there has to be someone out there smart enough to let us out.” Wendell said. He conjured up a pen and a few pieces of paper. Right as he was about to start writing, Wendell looked over at the Dinah scarecrow. “Right, right, we should warn them about old Boulder. Hopefully he won’t be too big of an obstacle for our rescuers.” Wendell said. After he was done writing, Wendell slid the distress letters under the door, hoping that Dinah and he wouldn’t have to wait too long to be let out. Little did Wendell know; Boomer was already making progress to release the magic engine.

[ketso]

Episode 57

I’ve dropped Risuna off at school and am now at the Maphumulo house. I’m Mrs Maphumulo’s assistant and the workload is a lot. I thought work at Keith’s office was hectic. Yoh, here?! It’s a lot! But the payment has helped me a lot.

I’ve been asking my mom to quit her job for some time now. She’s old. And this thing of hers cleaning at government hospitals for R4500 a month is not okay. There was a time when I couldn’t help her. But that changed. When Keith got his CEO job, I know he started paying my mom R8000 a month. He refused to send money to his mother though because according to Keith, his mother would starve then send money to his father. And Keith would rather die than support that man. But, Keith’s mother doesn’t work. And this is not okay. It’s just not. She lives on the money that Keith and his brothers give her. And Keith has the highest paying job.

So, I give her money from my salary.

Keith and I are responsible for her groceries. So I buy her groceries online every two weeks and have them delivered to her. Michael and his girlfriend are responsible for rates, taxes, the garden person and the domestic worker. Samuel and his wife are responsible for DSTV, TV license and clothing accounts.

According to Keith, what else does she need money for? That’s why she can afford to give money to the dad. Now that the dad moved back into the house, it’s worse. Keith even wants us to reduce the groceries. Honestly, he must just take one for the team at this point. He cannot NOT look after his mother because of his hatred for that man. Hai bo.

So I’ll generally send her R2500. When she needs money for stuff, she phones me. And I’m happy that she does. Her sons are not prepared to send her money because of the father. And the wives and girlfriends… well, they don’t like her enough to do what I do. And I don’t understand why. Maybe I just understand her better because I grew up just next door her house and she’s always seen a daughter in me.

Now with my significant increase in salary, I give her R5000 every month. Then I’ve added onto my mom’s allowance. So she gets R10 000 from Keith and I collectively. She finally confirmed that she doesn’t work anymore. I’m happy. She also tells me that she takes Keith’s mom out from time to time, which I appreciate. But ja, I don’t know how we are going to work around this situation.

“Moghel!!!!” Wandi comes into my office and says.

We are both super excited to see each other. We jump on each other, hugging and actually making a noise.

“I hope I’m not disturbing you”, she says.

“I’m so excited to see you!!! I feel like we all just don’t see each other unless it’s a funeral or a wedding or something. That’s so wrong guys. We can’t be missing Thebe’s back rooms because of such”, I say.

“I hear you. I definitely agree. We just all have a lot going on. But you are right, we need to make time and just catch up.”

“Yeah. How are you finding being a new mommy?”

“It’s beautiful. I’m very blessed. And I have the best support system seeing me through. Plus, Melo is not a fussy child. So she really favours me in that regard”, she says.

“Well, being a mommy is a stunning look on you. I’m loving it for you!”

“Thank you, gorgeous. And wena? How’s Risuna and Keith?”

“They are good, watsiba. Keith wants another baby even.”

She almost pops her eyes out.

I laugh.

“I kinda want one too. But I think I’ll come off the pill after the wedding. I’m giving Risuna a little more time to be an only child. But even he’s asking me why people around him have siblings and he doesn’t.” I say.

Wandi actually laughs.

I laugh too.

“I’m really happy for you and Keith, Bassie. You know we’ve always held pom-poms for the two of you, but seriously, I’m so happy you guys found each other and knew what to do with this opportunity.” She says.

“Thank you so much, friend. There was honestly a time where I would have never believed anyone who would have told me that Keith and I would be married one day and building a whole family together. When he married that lunatic of his, I genuinely believed that any chance of him and I being together was over. Hell, I was even thinking about giving Sipho a chance.”

“BASETSANA!”

We burst into laughter.

“That guy unofficially adopted my child when his father wanted nothing to do with him - or so I thought at the time. He bought the baby a stroller, a cot and all these other things that I couldn’t afford. Not even he could afford it… he worked extra shifts at the mine just so my baby and I could be okay. Why wouldn’t I give him a chance.”

“Chomi, vele you didn’t find that to be creepy? I mean who does that? And with no guarantee ukuthi that’s your woman vele vele vele? I mean, now, you are with Keith and you haven’t spoken to him in forever. Lapho akhona, how’s he taking the fact that you and Risuna are not in his life and are not his family as he thought would be the case when he was being extra? Phela he surely didn’t do that just nje… there must have been some expectation.”

“I’ve never thought about it like that, watsiba. I just always thought of him as this thoughtful person who really cared enough to pick me up when I was at my lowest.” I say and I’m actually being honest.

“Anyway… he got arrested. Uzwile?” She says.

“Hai wena! For what?”

“Aren’t you still in the WhatsApp group kaThebe for that place?”

“No. I changed phones and lost everything.”

“Yoh! Apparently, police came to fetch him at the rooms. The charges include murder, rape, robbery and assault.”

“WHAT?!” I’m so shocked.

“Ja. Maybe that money he made to buy all of things was not 100% legal.”

My spine honestly has a hectic chill.

“You dodged a bullet, babe. He’s not who we all thought he was. I just found him to be very creepy for being your unofficial husband nje. It was too weird to me.” She says.

“Ja neh. Keith did say that there was something off about him. I just thought that Keith was being jealous.” I say.

“He was being jealous. He could tell that Sipho was off but couldn’t tell that his wife was a dangerous nutcase and a half?”

We look at each other.

We burst into laughter.

“Anyway, let me love and leave you. Melo is with her mkhulu and I don’t want her exhausting him. I’m somewhere around this massive house if you need me or just want to take a quick break nyana.”

“Thanks babe. Enjoy.”

She leaves my office.

Ja neh!

I’m busy for the next few hours in my office. Fifi, my boss, is in and out of my office. She even had a site visit today with the queen. This is really a big project. I feel honoured to be part of it.

It is now 6pm. I decide to call it a day. Fifi is not back from the site visit. She texted me telling me that I can leave. We will catch up telephonically. Vele I miss my child and my husband. I have missed calls from my mother as well. I’ll call her back on my drive back home.

I walk past Wandi, Melo and Mr Maphumulo. Wandi has just made Mr Maphumulo food. So he’s eating. I say goodbye. They all say goodbye. Wandi even says that we will chat. I agree and give her space. She’s being a makoti. I understand.

I’m driving home now. Let me phone Keith first. He is actually away on business. He’s in South Africa, Cape Town.

“Hey my love”, he answers his phone.

“Hey baby. How are you doing?”

“I just miss you. A lot. You should take me with you on your trips.”

“I’d love that. Plus, I’m very horny right now. And only you can solve this problem.”

I actually laugh.

“How’s my boy?” He asks me.

“I’m headed home now, so it will be me and him when I get home. We can video call you after dinner.”

“I have a meeting just after 7pm. As soon as I’m done, I’ll phone you guys.”

“Okay baby. Sure. When are you coming back again?”

“Tomorrow my baby. I honestly cannot wait.”

“We miss you, love.”

“I miss you too, baby.”

“And I love you, baby.”

“I love you too, baby.”

-

My kid is running around the house, driving mzala crazy. What I don’t understand is why mzala is running after him. Upset as she is and yelling at him the way that she is, he’s completely entertained. He’s laughing so hard that he even stops running to catch his breath from laughing and running. My chaos part 2 has started.

“Risuna!” I’m the one who makes him stop this nonsense.

“Mzala! Hai your child!” Mzala is so tired. She’s even sweating. What were they doing?

“Why are you being naughty, Risuna?” I ask.

“I’m not. I’m playing. And mzala is very funny”, he says as he laughs.

“Are you saying your elder is funny?” Mzala.

“Mama, mzala wants me to go bath. I tell her that if she can catch me, I’ll bath. She told me she was an athlete at school so I want to see if she can beat me. When I run, she runs like this” then he imitates her… tongue out… he even splashes water on his face to imitate the sweating. I’m not even joking. It’s the exact sight I saw when I walked in here. I really want to burst into laughter. But mzala is so mad!

Then Risuna bursts into laughter.

“Mzala, you can knock off. I’ll take over from here”. I say.

“Mzala, you must discipline your child! This is no way to treat an elder!”

Okay, now she’s judging me.

“Hawu mzala, I’ll talk to him.”

“Talk to him?! This child needs a hiding! And a serious one! This is not a child! It’s a brat. And I told sesi! She said she’d talk to you.”

That explains the multiple missed calls.

“Mzala, I’ll talk to my son.”

“Wabona wena neh… you are raising a criminal! This one will be in prison before the age of 25. O tlare I didn’t tell you. He doesn’t listen! He doesn’t have respect! His teachers complain about him. I complain about him. All you do is talk to him?! You’ll regret this. You’ll see.”

“Mzala, I don’t appreciate your tone and your uncalled-for prophecy! Keith and I are raising our child as best as we see fit.”

“Keith? Ukai yena? He sees that you are an unfit mother who doesn’t know how to discipline her brat and he’s not here to watch the ship sink right before his eyes. He’s out there with a girlfriend to release his stress.”

“Keith is away on business, mzala.” I say.

“Weh! Watsiba I feel sorry for you. You all go to school to become more and more stupid. Your house is falling apart right before your eyes and you are blinded by what you choose will make you cope. That man doesn’t like you working. He wants you at home, disciplining your little brat and creating a decent human being out of him. He wants you making this child a sibling so that he learns some kind of responsibility, and not see everything to be about him. But wena o rotehile akiri? You want to work and hang out with your friends. You want to hire people to take care of and raise your unruly son. Keith is gone! Yena he will love you and marry you and hide manyala ahaye because he loves you. It’s just your actions that are driving him away. O hopole that you are his second marriage. He’s more seasoned at this than what you are. Even his ability to lie and hide things from you has improved. But nna… I know a well-taken-care-of man when I see one. Kgale ke phila.”

I just look at her.

I choose to not believe her.

I trust my husband.

I trust that my child is not a criminal in the making.

“Goodnight!” And just like that, mzala knocks off.

…

I needed these three days. And Phindi didn’t disappoint at all. She made sure that I’m all the way happy and that no part of my body remains untouched.

I like her. A lot. She explores me. She takes risks with her body alongside mine.

The best part about her is that she’s married too. So she has as much to lose as I do. So I know that she won’t be a lunatic. And this arrangement between us is as good as we want it to be and will last as long as we want it to last. Her husband lives in the UK. She’s here in the kingdom with her three children. She’s a CEO of her business that is also here in the kingdom. We met at a conference that I attended a while back. And honestly, I’ve been captivated ever since. Apparently, so has she.

“We need to get back to the running again, baby. Your wife is over feeding you and your body is aging faster than your actual age. Look at these love handles”, she says to me, running her hands around my waist… removing my towel that I had on since I did just take a shower.

“It’s work stress, baby. You know I barely have time to run or gym.” I say.

“We need to change that. Get a treadmill or something in your house. I don’t want you having a heart attack while we are deep within our shit in bed.”

We both laugh.

“Well, you look really nice.” I tell her. She is looking good. For a mother of three, she looks nothing older than 28. Her long weave is making her look expensive. She has a small body frame. She’s a runner. A committed one at that. She has a personal gym trainer. She has a physiotherapist that she goes to weekly. And she’s a “Saturday mornings are for the spa” kind of woman. I even know that her Saturday mornings are off limits.

“Are we in our love pod this weekend?” I ask her.

She shakes her head, lets go of my body, then gets back to getting dressed. Then she says, “the kids and I are going to see their dad in Manchester. I’ll be there for the next two weeks.”

I nod my head.

“So no contact?” Me.

She shakes her head and says, “None at all. You know he will catch on as soon as you even text me and he will make life difficult for us. Unengane encane, Keith. Uyakudinga. My husband will honestly end it for you. I don’t want your son to suffer because you and I chose to be reckless. I’m even going to leave this phone in SA and use my main line only while I’m away.”

“I understand. I’m going to miss you.” I say.

“I know. But you and I agreed that we wouldn’t be reckless with this. You still need to love and honour your wife. If your marriage changes, it gets better - not worse. If she starts feeling like she’s losing you, we are done, Keith. You and I - it’s just sex. There’s no reason why our kids and partners need to suffer at any point because of this.”

I nod my head.

We finish getting dressed. She’s packed her bag. She double-checks my bag to make sure that there is no evidence of her at all in my stuff. As she does this, I get dressed as well.

I feel her hands on my ass now.

I look at her.

She has her bag in hand… travel bag being pulled with one hand, her handbag is over the shoulder of her other hand.

“Keep well, lover.” She says as she kisses me.

“You too, beautiful.” I say.

She leaves.

…

I arrive at my house just after 4pm. I find a few cars here. So I park my car just outside of my gate.

I take my bag, some flowers and the gifts that I bought for my wife and kid: a new Chanel bag and Dior perfume for my wife, then a new electronic vehicle for my son. The number plates are “RISUNA GP”. It’s a black Range Rover Sport - just like his father’s car.

“Ladies”, I say as I step into my living room.

I see the whole gang is here… Tamia, Bassie, Morafe and Wandi. Their kids are also here, going crazy in Risuna’s playroom. Risuna’s playroom has nice stuff, that I will admit. Then it has a sliding door leading to the garden where he has his jungle gyms, trampolines and other outdoor activity stuff. I really wish he had a sibling to share all of this with.

“Hi Keith”, these ladies greet me.

“How are you doing?” Me.

Bassie walks up to me, smiling from ear to ear. I’m also very happy to see her.

We greet each other with a kiss. I give her flowers and her gift. She thanks me and brushes my dick.

What’s happening?!

“Let me help him get settled. I’ll be right back.” Bassie tells the ladies.

“Take your time.” Tamia slyly says. I just laugh. I wonder what they’ve been talking about.

We get into the bedroom and Bassie is all over me. I’m not sure what’s happening, but she’s never this keen for sex.

But I take advantage.

I undress her.

I put her on the bed.

As I’m about to put my penis in there, she says, “are you cheating on me?”

What the fuck?!

She can’t possibly know. I’ve been careful. Phindi has been extra careful on behalf of both of us.

I just get up.

I sit on the bed.

I try to wrap my head around this question.

“What are you asking me, Basetsana?” I actually even pretend to be offended by the question.

“Mzala says that you are cheating on me.” She says.

Mzala?!

Wow!

“What am I not doing right, Basetsana? What don’t I do for you and Risuna?” I say. I’m even getting angry.

“I’m sorry. It’s just been eating away at me all night. I couldn’t even eat or sleep.”

“Is that why your friends are all over our house? You are discussing our marriage with them and accusing me of shit I don’t even have time to do because I’m so busy working my ass off for you and our son.”

She’s quiet.

I’m quiet.

She then says, “Look Keith, I’m choosing to trust you. I’m choosing to believe that if there’s something wrong that I’m doing or there’s something that you are not happy with when it comes to me, you’ll talk to me and you’ll give us an opportunity to fix it… you won’t run to ejaculate inside another woman. I won’t even go looking for evidence of whether you are cheating on me or not. If you are doing something, it will come to light on its own. And if it does, Keith… I want you to know that I’ll take my son and leave you. I won’t even sit here and listen to your explanations. I won’t even try to fix it or forgive you. We will be done. You are a grown and consenting adult. You know what is acceptable and what isn’t. If you are cheating, I will not accept it as a mistake… and just know that God will deal with you accordingly.”

Then she leaves the room.

I don’t know why I feel so shitty.

I’m in my room now, unpacking my travel bag. I’m mostly putting my stuff in the laundry basket. Bassie is still with her friends and Risuna is still having the time of his life out there.

When I am done, I turn on the TV, lay on my bed and go online to purchase some gym equipment for myself. I think I also need to get into shape again. I’m not a buff guy with a six pack and firm glutes or whatever. The only thing I have going for me is that I’m tall and dark. Noria loved that about me. Bassie seems to love it about me. Oh… and I’m a gifted Tsonga man.

But being with Phindi and watching how she looks after herself… I suppose it won’t hurt to also fix myself up. We actually have a gym in this house that neither Bassie nor myself use. It’s just there. We don’t even have equipment in there.

I order two treadmills, two cycling machines, the rowing machines, a punching bag, boxing gloves for myself and Bassie in case she decides to join me, medicine balls, dumbbells and weights. I notice that there’s a special. Basically this special says because I’ve shopped for more than R10 000, I get someone who will deliver these and set them up for me for free. I just accept the special. Whatever, honestly.

Now, I take my nap. I’ll only see Bassie when the girls remember that they all have husbands to go back home to. I’ll see Risuna later on when he’s done being a host as well.

…

“Hai ngeke mah, kuyabanda la. How does dad live here?” My daughter, Kayla, says. She’s my eldest. And yes, Manchester is cold. Tholoana Kingdom just rains a lot, but compared to Manchester, it’s not that cold.

“You get used to it, Kayla.” My husband says. His name is Harry Wright. Yes, I married a white man and I have three caramelo babies. I’m just proud that they can speak Zulu - it must be because they live with me and are very familiar with my parents’ kraal in Eshowe. They picked up seSotho in Tholoana Kingdom. I’d say that they are very multilingual kids. I’m proud of them.

Kayla - whom I also named Nkanyezi - is my eldest. My second child is my second daughter, Charlotte - whom I also named Nomcobo. My last born is my son, Michael Bhuza Wright. The Zulu names all came from my dad, I swear. I would have gone for something less out of the Shaka Zulu movie.

“Dad, this place is cold. No one can get used to this. We’ve been coming here for two weeks every school holiday and every midterm break, but I’m still not used to this”. Kayla says.

I serve Harry his coffee.

He kisses me as he accepts it, rubbing my lower back.

“I was actually hoping that I’d convince you guys to actually move up here and live with me.” Harry says.

“There’s no way”, Charlotte says.

“That could never be me”, Kayla.

“Dad, why don’t you just move to the kingdom and just come live with us? You and mom are probably the only two married people I know that don’t live together. Don’t married people have needs?” I actually choke on my tea as Charlotte says this.

Harry finds it funny.

“I’ll come live with you, dad. I’m tired of being the only boy anyway”, Mikey says.

“Thanks my boy. But seriously guys… your mom has a business and in my view she can pretty much run it from anywhere. I have a job that I can’t just leave.” Harry says.

“But you can find a job anywhere. Why do you specifically want to work here?” Kayla.

“My family is here.” Harry.

“Mom’s family lives in a different country from us.” Charlotte.

“But it’s a drive away”, Harry.

“Moving to Manchester would make it a flight away.” Kayla.

Harry is quiet.

“Dad, this place is not nice to settle in. It’s always cold. It’s not nice being black here - and here, we are black, not mixed-race. We’d be miserable here”, Kayla.

“How do you know that? You guys haven’t even tried”, Harry.

“Dad -

I intervene and say, “How about we test all these theories before we make a decision? We move up here with dad for a year. We try this out for one year. If we love it, we will move up here permanently. But if we hate it… then babe, you need to come back to the kingdom with us.”

“What about school? And our friends? I actually have a life, you know.” Charlotte.

“You’ll go to a new school here and make new friends. Our schools are great too”, Harry.

“What about my boyfriend?!” Says Kayla, my fourteen year old.

“Lord, help me.” Harry says.

I actually burst into laughter.

“What about mom’s business?” Mikey asks us.

“I’ll have to run it from here then make occasional trips to the kingdom from time to time.” I say.

“Can we actually go with you? Like to actually check on our lives and make sure that we are still relevant? Because I for one know for a fact that I’m not staying here forever”, Charlotte… my twelve year old.

I look at Harry.

He’s not impressed hey.

“I need you guys to give this a chance. It’s important to me. Is that a lot to ask?” Harry.

The kids understand the seriousness of this.

“Dad, we understand that this is important to you. But we also need to be comfortable and you need to also understand what’s important to us too. You are asking us to just uproot our lives and move to a country that doesn’t even like the colour of our skin. Have you thought about what this means for us? We are allowed to have reservations and actually cling on something familiar that makes us happy”, Kayla.

“To be clear… I’m not asking. I’m telling you! And I’m your parent. In fact, I’m the head of this house and family. My word is final.” He’s suddenly scary now.

“What about how we feel?” Charlotte.

“You’ll have to get over it and do as we say”, Harry.

“What if we said no?” Kayla.

He looks at me as if blaming me for this. Did he not hear me suggest we try this out for a year at least?

He walks out of the kitchen as if saying “speak to your kids!”

“Mom, you cannot agree to this! You just cannot!” Kayla.

“And dad is being unfair. He’s being a dictator”, Charlotte.

“I can stay with dad by myself”, Mikey.

“There we go! Problem solved.” Charlotte.

“All my kids stay with me. Mikey goes where I go.” I say.

“It’s the four of us and one of him. If he moves, it’s less of a change than if four people move”, Charlotte.

“Have you guys considered his point of view in this?” I ask.

“We have. Then we realised that he doesn’t care for ours, so why should we care for his? It’s bad enough dealing with this cold for two weeks at a time. Now we must come here forever? Mom, do something”, Kayla.

“You are all moving here! And it’s final!” Harry says. I didn’t even realise that he was back in the kitchen.

The girls are not happy at all.

…

It’s evening. The day was pretty sour after the conversation earlier on.

I’m in bed. I just took a shower. Now I’ve just lotioned myself and am ensuring that I’m warm as I slip into bed. He’s in here, on the phone with his parents and telling them that the kids and I are moving here. The parents sound excited. I’m not excited about moving here. It’s not even about Keith. I don’t love Keith… he’s just black dick after I’ve been having wife dick for thirteen years of marriage. That’s why I encourage him to be a good husband. I don’t want him having ideas of us leaving our partners and families for each other. I love Harry. I just don’t like Manchester. I’m with my kids on this 100%.

Yes, I was living and studying in the UK when I met Harry, married him and had kids with him. I moved from here to the kingdom when I just couldn’t get my business off the ground and the best thing that I could be was Harry’s PA. I am Phindile Wright. I am the daughter of Khombisile and Mlungisi Zwide. I’ve never been destined for the bare minimum. My mother opened her first supermarket when I was four years old. My father started his own farm when I was two. I come from two business geniuses who created their own wealth and self-built their ‘royalty’ status in our community. When people talk about the Zwide family, it’s always with a dose of respect. When Harry came to pay lobola and we had our traditional wedding in Eshowe, people said “of course she married a white man. What black man would be good enough for her?”

Now for all of that to just be Harry’s PA? Who only got the job because I’m his wife? No thanks!

So I packed up my things and my three kids - at the time when I left, they were ages 3, 8 and 10 - and I went to start my empire. And it’s growing!

So moving here, I feel like I’m headed towards a set back. My business will not thrive here. It won’t. I tried. I failed. But you know what… my marriage is worth the shot.

“You okay?” He asks me as he gets into bed.

“Yeah.” I say with a feint smile.

“Thank you for supporting me out there with the three rebels.” I don’t appreciate him calling my kids rebels.

“It’s change. When have you ever known kids to adjust well to change?”

“But still… I wouldn’t have won out there without you. Thanks.” He says.

“So… how will you juggle yourself between us and your other family?” I ask him.

He looks at me.

“I mean… Julie is the one that even your family loves. Her and her kids are the preferred ones. I thought life was easier for you with us being away. Are you ready for the chaos that’s about to come with the kids knowing that you have two kids with your high school sweetheart and your family treats her like your wife and me like your dirty secret?” I say.

“Julie won’t come near my children… or my wife. You guys always come first.” He says.

“I’m sure she was fine with that when we were far away. But if we are here full time… look Harry, I just don’t want issues or drama. You can sleep with her all you want, but I want my dignity and my children’s sanity to be protected and respected at all times.”

He nods his head.

I doubt that this is going to work. But let’s see what happens.

[underscore-writingdump]

Flowers For You

A sweet work in progress, based on that one flower shop au post.

George sat in the shop, tending to the flowers in a nearby pot. The day was bright and beautiful, sunny but not too warm. It was a perfect day for a Sunday picnic, but unfortunately it was not Sunday, and George was forced to work. It's not like he hated his job, infact he loved it. It's just that sometimes it was boring to sit in a shop looking at flowers all day. Sometimes a customer or two would come in, but leave soon. He had even started to consider leaving the flower shop and looking for work somewhere else.

But there were also the busy days, which he liked very much. The busy days were when there was a large order for flowers, for some event like a wedding. Or a funeral. Today was supposed to be one of those days, as there was a large order for decoration flowers for a wedding. Not any random wedding, it was George's best friend's wedding, and everything had to be perfect for it.

He was so excited about it, and perhaps a little nervous too, that the adrenaline rushing in him made him do every task he had first thing in the morning. He was done by 10 o'clock, and all that was left to do was to wait.

He was still thinking about his friend's wedding, how excited he was, how excited she must be, when the bell above the door rung, notifying that someone had come in. There were violent scuffling of shoes, and George rushed to the counter to attend to this very impatient customer. The customer was a tall man, wearing a green hoodie. As soon as George stepped behind the counter, the man slammed his hand on the table, and said

"Ok, how do you say fuck you in flowers?"

"sorry, what?" george asked, taken aback by this weird request

"how do you say fuck you in flowers?" the man said, slower this time.

George almost scoffed at him, made a nasty remark about how he had heard his request the first time and was just shocked at the demand. But he didn't, instead he said, "uhm, you'd need some geraniums, foxglove, some-"

"yeah, please just put all that in a bouquet. And quick, its urgent." The man cut him short, and George thought about how well his afternoon was going before the customer came in.

George went to the back of the shop, preparing the bouquet. The man kept tapping his fingernails on the counter, irritating George a lot. Finally he spoke up, "can you not?"

The man raised a brow in question.

"can you not make that tapping noise,"

"oh" he looked a bit taken aback, maybe he was just realising that he was making such noise at all "sorry."

There was a pause, everything went quiet for a while, the only sound coming was of George's shoes squeaking against the floor, and the of the paper in his hand. George thought to himself how he liked it that way, quiet, and how stupid it was to even think about leaving this job.

The man spoke up again "can you please be quick? I'm in a hurry." George rolled his eyes, trying to hide his frustration from the man. He turned around to present the bouquet to him.

"ok, so this one germanium," George said, pointing to the flowers in the bouquet one by one, "it's for stupidity, this one is foxglove, for insincerity, this is meadowsweet, for uselessness-"

"uh yeah, sorry but i don't have time for this" the man said, trying to take the bouquet from his hands, but George stepped back with it.

"if you want this, you have to listen first," he said. This guy had just came in and ruined George's mood, and now he has to pay for it.

The man looked at George wide eyed. But when he didn't move, the man nodded in defeat.

"now these are yellow carnations, to show disappointment, and finally we have orange lilies, for hatred." George said, with pride.

"Can I have them now?" The man said, and George handed the bouquet over to him. As soon as he got the bouquet, the man quickly walked out the door, sat in his car and drive away.

It hit George a few minutes later, when he was recording the sale, that the man never paid. A beautiful and exciting day, ruined by one single man.