#a lot were inspired by existing tattoos

[yllu-stration]

Tattoo flash sheet inspired by Simon "Ghost" Riley (2022) because I hate the ones they gave him in the game 😇

[bunny-jpeg]

secret tattoos (vol. 1)

max verstappen

tags: smut/pwp, tattoos, established relationship, cowgirl position, tattoo worship, dirty talk

a/n: this was inspired by my want (need) for tattoos. but i think my gran would kill me if i came home with a tattoo so for now it'll just have to exist in my silly little fan fics <3

charles edition // lando edition // lewis edition // toto edition

you enjoyed your fair share of baggy t-shirts. your style was a lot more casual. usually an over-sized t-shirt with tighter pants. so max was used

it wasn't until he saw you undress for the first time, stripped away the layers of your clothes where he saw that on your upper bicep, near your shoulder. a tattoo, but not any tattoo.

a small one of nijntje

he stopped in his tracks as he watched you get the t-shirt over your head. he looked at you curiously when you turned to him and looked at him with confusion. you asked, "never seen breasts before, max?" you were in a sports bra.

"i didn't know you had a tattoo." he said as he pointed to it before he approached you. he reached out for your arm and looked at it. you looked down at the tattoo too.

"oh yeah, i got that like a week before we met." you laughed, "the little miffy." you turned your arms a little as you looked at it.

max smiled, "very cute. didn't know you liked nijntje." he looked at you while he still held your arm.

you replied, "i have for years. we used to have the books in the library at the elementary school i want to." your boyfriend of the part few months pulled you in a little closer. you held onto the front of his t-shirt and smiled, "it's how i learned where the netherlands was."

your chest pressed against his as he looked at you with a gentle smile. soon he kissed you on the lips and held you by the waist. there was a certain tenderness to it that made you blush a little harder.

when he pulled away you took him by the face and looked into his eyes, "i'm sorry i didn't tell you. i honestly thought you had already seen it."

"i would've remembered such a cute tattoo on such a cute girl." he chuckled before he kissed you once more. he then asked, "are there any other tattoos i should know about." he groped your ass and it made you moan. he chuckled lightly before he kissed you once more.

his hands got curious as they roamed your body. you moaned into the kiss before he broke it and led you to the bedroom, "i'm very curious about how you look. all of you." his hands were on the waistband of your yoga shorts.

you helped him out of his shirt and kissed the sharp line of his jaw then up his nose. he pulled the shorts down your thighs and you got them fully off. clothes were scattered everywhere by the time you two were nude and eventually you ended up straddling max's waist.

you braced your hands across his chest and rubbed yourself up against him. you were curious how come he hadn't seen the tattoo before, you two had sex.

"how did you not see the tattoo before?" you asked as you wet cunt rubbed against max's hard cock

he replied as he laced his fingers behind his head, "every time you had a shirt on. last time we did it you had my driver's jacket on. i guess i've never seen you without a shirt on."

you couldn't disagree with that, you were both often too wrapped up in lust to really focus on getting everything off. you tensed up and your toes curled as you seated yourself onto his cock. you could feel the shudder of want through your body as you started to move.

max tensed up for a moment as well and laid out under you as you rode him. you felt the heat in your gut as you moved, his cock hit against all the right areas. you felt the thump of pleasure in the drums of your ears as you moved against him.

"fuck." you panted as you moved against him. you could feel the rush of pleasure through your body as you rutted against him. you used his strong chest as leverage for your heavy thrusts. you could feel it all.

being with max was always pleasurable, he was a very giving lover. the type that some would fantasize about as if they didn't do that about him already. the heat bloomed in your cheeks when you caught max staring at you.

"you look nice with tattoos." he said as he reached for you and took a hold of your hips, "maybe you should get some more." his licked his lips, "something that reminds you of me." he said with heat in his tone.

you raked your nails down his chest and moved your hips, "oh yeah, like what?" you knew people had tattoos about your boyfriend. and you did think about it after you two got together.

"my number... a lion... my last name?"

you giggled, "your last name? i thought that was supposed to be on my passport, not on my skin." he felt him shuddered. you teased him with the idea of eventually getting married.

he groaned, "i'll think of something." his expression changed from the heightened pleasure as you continued to move against him. you took a hold of your shoulders and his grasp tightened on your hips. you two moved against one another and you felt the heated euphoria in your body. max felt the same as he rolled his hips against yours.

the idea of having max pick out a tattoo for you was hot. it was hot in a way that made your stomach jump as you continued to move against him. you felt the fire only grow in your stomach the more you fucked him. the more you near bounced on his cock with a sexual fever that you could deny yourself any further.

you were glad that max found your tattoo hot. that he thought the little stamp shaped tattoo with nijntje inside of it was beyond adorable. you raked his chest with your nails as the two of you moved. soon his chest was littered with marks fro your nails which only made him more aroused.

you two weren't going to last much longer. you felt the rush of pleasure through you as you picked up the pace. everything felt like fireworks in the back of your mind as you pace staggered. you continued to work him up and down until it all became too much. you panted, "i'm cumming." before you finished.

max felt a shudder of pleasure through his core as he held onto you a little tighter. he worked you up and down on his cock. you whined and your toes curled as you felt the heat in your gut grow. he knew he wasn't going to last much longer either. the two of you moved against one another as the pleasure took over him as well.

he gave it a few more thrusts before he spilled inside of you with a heated groan. you made him feel good all over in a way that made every nerve in his body feel alive in the best way possible.

you both slowed to a stop before you rested against max's chest for a moment before he wrapped his strong arms around you. you ended up on your side with max cuddled up against you, his lips against your skin.

"fuck, i want to pick your next tattoo." he said as he kissed you. you moaned into the kiss as he held you closer. with kisses like that you'd end up with a verstappen tattoo soon enough <3

nijntje tattoo

[unusualtfs]

Ascended Fanboy

inspired by a suggestion from @innermostthoughtsartappreciation

James stood in front of the mirror, disappointed with what he saw. He looked just like he always did — same greasy brown mullet, same patchy neckbeard, same unhealthily pale skin, same flabby body. The only part of him that had changed since he'd last gazed upon his reflection was his brand-new tattoo.

It was a simple drawing of his favorite character from his favorite anime. He'd gotten it in an attempt to stand out — and while it did stand out, it was mostly in a negative way. Evidently, many people found it "distasteful" and "unfit for a member of polite society." It didn't even help him connect with other fans of the anime!

But that wasn't even the biggest issue with the tattoo. No, the real reason James was standing shirtless in front of his bedroom mirror was that the skin around the ill-advised tattoo was rapidly becoming discolored. Starting a few inches from the borders of the tattoo, his vanilla-white skin abruptly transitioned to dark chocolate. Strangely, the tattoo itself also seemed to be affected, the anime girl's blue hair and bulging eyes dissolving into swirling black lines.

"Ugh, I knew there was something funky about that tattoo parlor," James sneered to his extensive collection of cartoon memorabilia, Funko pops, and body pillows.

They, of course, did not respond. They wouldn't have done so normally, because they were inanimate objects, but right now they were slowly but surely fading out of existence, which made things a lot harder for them.

But James didn't notice that tiny little detail, because right before his eyes, the discoloration was starting to spread. Inch by inch, his white skin was darkening, darkening. He rubbed a hand over the changed skin, but it didn't feel any different from regular skin. That probably ruled out skin cancer, at least. Small mercies. Although, come to think of it, he did feel a little tingling at the tattoo site...

That small sensation was all the warning he had before his entire body erupted. He could feel every muscle, every bone in his body rippling and reshaping, from his masculinizing head to his rapidly growing toes. It felt like a swarm of bees had taken up residence inside him, but it was the most pleasurable feeling he'd ever experienced.

He rose in height and shrank in width — but not by too much, because his rolls of fat were being converted into mounds of muscle: Bulging biceps, wide lats, meaty quads... His stomach collapsed in on itself, melting away into a perfect inverted triangle garnished with six cobblestone abs. He still had tits, but now they were pecs instead of moobs.

The changes had mostly avoided James' face, but that would soon be corrected. There was no reason for the Black Adonis he was becoming to have the head of a white geek, after all. Melanating skin and masculinizing muscle converged around his neck and spread up from there. His Adam's apple became more prominent, deepening his voice to a sensual baritone. His lips plumpened up, and his nose flattened out, and a thick black mustache emerged between them. His neckbeard tamed itself into a short, tasteful beard. His hair was undergoing rapid improvements as well — coiling up and receding into his skin until his mullet had been replaced by a textured fade.

Comparatively, the final changes were tame. Stained sweatpants shifted into gym shorts that left nothing to the imagination. A gold chain appeared around his neck, not hanging but resting comfortably in the groove between his pecs. He blinked, and suddenly he had piercings in his ears and nose.

James stared at himself in the mirror, dumbfounded. Where a dumpy, overweight white man had once stood, in his place was a prime specimen of Black manliness. He blinked rapidly, trying to understand what had just happened, but when he opened his eyes again, he was Jamari.

He liked being Jamari a lot better, he realized. Not only was he a rich and famous athlete, but he also had much better taste in tattoos. Better taste in general, Jamari conceded, nodding in approval at his surroundings, which had transformed from a nerd's wet dream to an expensive private gym. His previous body had been optimized for pirating anime and playing Paradox games, but this new one was optimized for working out, winning national championships, and posting thirst traps for his millions of horny followers.

Raising his bicep up to his head, Jamari attempted to find the tattoo that had started it all. But there was no sign of the anime girl, just tasteful calligraphy in the same style as the art engraved in the rest of his body. What was the character's name again? What had she even looked like? He couldn't remember. All his previous nerdy fandom knowledge was fading away, but it had been replaced by expertise in sports, exercise, and celebrity culture — more than a fair trade.

Jamari gave the mirror one last smirk. Damn, he looked fine today. His adoring fans would not be disappointed with what they saw.

[calummss]

dating 90s/00s eminem …

masterlist 𓆩♱𓆪

kim and hailie don’t exist in this universe

start and development of relationship

i definitely imagine him to take notice of you at one of the underground rap battles roughly 1992/1993

your friend who was interested in going dragged you along one night cause they were really into rap and hip hop

and there you saw him! the one and only marshall marthers destroying every opponent that stood before him

after the battles came to an end you were already attracted to him and tried to get to him to talk to him

here’s how i think it would go:

‘hey, i just wanted to tell you that you absolutely killed it on stage. it’s my first time here so i lack certain knowledge but i know enough to know that you have an incredible talent’

‘thank you. your first time? what’s your name?’

‘y/n’

‘eminem. marshall mathers’

i imagine you to awkwardly shake hands. like i know you’re in the detroit underground scene but neither of you knew how to proceed

‘i hope this won’t be a shot in the dark but can i give you my number?’ your mind literally racing

‘sure, i’ll give you a call if i’m interested’

THIS MAN TURNS AROUND AND DIALS YOUR NUMBER AND LETS YOU ANSWER!! turning around with a smirk and just straight up low key flirting with you

he was embarrassed to bring you to his home but you eventually just showed up one day cause he wasn’t returning calls—you reassured him that you didn’t care and let slip that you loved him no matter what

marshall was definitely a bit overwhelmed at first and took him like a minute to snap out of his trance because it was most likely the first time he truly felt loved, appreciated and cared for

you supported him and his music until he was eventually signed

everyone was confused why you stayed with a man who wrote violent lyrics especially about his wife so you had to explain over and over again that the wife was fictional

and everyone that truly knew marshall knew that he would never lay a hand on you. he would rather d!e than hurt you

three years after you meet you become pregnant and were scared he was going to leave (news flash he didn’t)

he reassured you that if you wanted to keep the baby that you two would figure it out and that he would and could never ever leave your side

you married quick and definitely rushed it but it proved to be the best decision you made including keeping the baby

this lead to the birth of your beautiful daughter—for some reason the name romy jane won’t leave my mind so i’ll just leave it at that

anyway you blink and stardom surrounds marshall

a few hiccups occurred during the relationship but nothing major and you always managed to talk things trough

what the relationship would include

his hand would alway be on your waist! no matter if you’re on his lap, standing next to him or whatever, his hand will be at its rightful place

i believe he prefers cheek and jaw kisses. he loves a good forehead kiss and hand kiss when he’s emotional and talking to you about certain struggles

speaking of struggles; he would always and i mean always put on his strong persona for you but sometimes his walls would crumble and would cry into your shoulder holding you so tight like you’re about to slip from his grasp

you would make appearances in a few music videos

he would also prefer to be in the studio alone but brings you along when all demos are done to get your opinion because he values it a lot (low key more than dres)

of course you would be his main inspiration for a lot of songs, also you daughter, because he admires both of you so much

marshall is 100% a very jealous and possessive man. not overbearing but maybe a little more intense than the average man? he trusts you fully but not others. he doesn’t forbid you of anything but will always say and do stuff to let others know that you’re off limits

i imagine after you got married he got a tattoo of your face or name on his chest like right over his heart

likes holding hands in public and an occasional kiss but nothing more. he prefers his affection to be reserved for only you and not the world

ONLY refers to you as ‘my girl’. when he’s with friends he’d say stuff like ‘yo, where is my girl?’. and others would also refer to you as ‘his girl’. at one point you just got the nickname ‘slim’s girl’ or ‘shady’s girl’ depending on which you prefer

tries to keep you away from hollywood and only goes for recordings, shows etc. when he’s done you both leave for detroit to lead a somewhat quiet life

definitely will buy you a lot of gifts. sometimes expensive or cheap; something that reminds him of you or something he knows you want. he just feels like showering you with gifts. his love language is giving gifts or acts of service. he will watch your favourite show just because you like it

em will always thank you in his speeches!! something along the lines of ‘first of all thank you to dr. dre and my two beautiful girls who i love with my entire heart. you two are my world, i love you!’

but like you don’t understand he will always thank you. he could win a life time supply of soap and he would say your name with pride…he’s just so grateful to have you and to be able to call you family

would hold your bag/bags for you. marshall gives you princess treatment without realising bc he genuinely wants to do it. he will snatch those bags out of your hands before you can protest

when other artists or people take your name or your daughter’s name into their mouths with negative connotations you best believe em will rip them apart, so most people will never attack you or romy bc it’s a death sentence

people can call him lame, bad rapper, ugly, whatever they feel like but as soon as anyone mentions a hair on you or romy’s bodies…it’s over. careers are shredded…you love it though

if you are a girl who likes to get her nails done this is for you; at first you started asking him to choose a design and colour and at first he was confused but he learned to love it especially when you scratched his head or your hands around his yknow what…he even once tried to design some and you got it done

the sex is a mix of mildy rough and vanilla. sometimes you both need something a little more “agressive” but he also needs a calm session. i see it kind as a light switch: it’s either rough or vanilla, occasionally you mix it but it turns out one way or another

also the man is a sucker (pun) for head. like he loves your mouth on him. i genuinely believes it’s in his top 2 favourite sexual activities (don’t deny it i’m right)

extra: if you love marshall right and you two work, it will be both of yours best love, but if things don’t work they can quickly turn into a relationship from hell

[icanbringyouinhot]

Take something bad and make it into something good - Chapter 1

Paring: retired!Javier Peña x F!reader

Summary: After leaving Colombia, Javier slowly but surely slides into a post-burnout depression that he tries to self-medicate with alcohol and self-imposed exile. However, his friend Steve Murphy and his wife Connie are not having it. Turns out, their endless nagging got him in a very interesting situation that turned out to be exactly what he needed. (Though, he’ll never admit they were right.)

Here’s the song that inspired me: Something Good by Paul Haig (spotify link)

Warnings: I don’t think there are that many, honestly. There’s no smut (boo-hoo, this is my first fanfic ever posted in here, I’m shy ok?..). No physical description of the reader, though I did describe her clothes because we love a well dressed diva. Vague mentions of alcohol abuse. Mentions of blood, wounds, guns, and depression because our boy is traumatized by what went down in Colombia. The reader has one small tattoo on her forearm. Let me know if I forgot anything, this is my first fanfic, idk what the hell I’m doing.

Word count: Roughly 2k.

A/N: Ok so there’s a few things, PLEASE READ: (1) As I said two times already, this is my first fanfic, I’m nervous and insecure about my writing, so please, please, please, give me any advice you have, criticism, words of encouragement, anything that could help me grow. I ain’t no pussy, you can tell me this is shit and I won’t start crying (as far as you know teehee). (2) The story the reader is talking about is my latest hyper fixation, however, i couldn’t find the source. There’s an article that says it belongs to the Chumash Tribe, but there are also other articles and reddit posts that say the otherwise. I have no idea were I know this story from, it just spawned into my smooth brain. For safety measures I chose not to associate it to any Native American tribe and let the reader’s granny take the blow, because I don’t want to offend anyone and because I am from Europe, so idk what the hell I’m talking about and it would be disrespectful to pretend that I do. (3) The art pieces and the artist that are featured in this fanfic are real (they are also present in the little collage that I’ve made, there in the middle, for visual reference)!!! But i don’t have a clue when he did his work and I was too lazy to google it so i have no idea if they existed by the time Javier Peña left Colombia (or if the art pieces ever touched the American land). Once again this fanfic was a last minute thing I didn’t put that much thought into it. (4) Once again i pulled this story from my bum bum and i don’t know if there’s a Modern Art Gallery in Houston, but I don’t care, I take my artistic liberties to invent one on the spot. (5) English is not my first language!!!!!! I tried really hard to make my sentences beautiful and clear, because sometimes in my head everything is an absolute mess. Once again, Idk what the hell I’m talking about. This fanfic is 100% the concept of raw dogging life and see where it gets you.

Okay!!!!! I think that was it. I think we are ready for our first flight together. I have to inform you that I don’t have any right, license or experience into flying the FanFic Aircraft. Too late, you can’t get off now, I shut the doors. Thank you for choosing our company to fly towards your next destination: JAVI LAND!!!! (play national anthem.)

(Also if someone knows how to add those colorful spacers on a post, I also forgot how it’s called, please send me a message and explain to me like I’m your grandma, thank you!!!!!)

Okay here we go. I’m nervous.

Chapter 2 >>

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Javier Peña had a lot of sins he had to try to pay for, but never in his life did he imagine this would be the price.

Four months. That’s how long’s been since he’d left Colombia for good, leaving behind all the bullshit he had to endure, the mistakes he made, the deaths he’d witnessed.

In all fairness, he thought that going back to the states would motivate him to rebuild his life and start anew. That was his honest to God intention. However, once back in the good ol’ Merica, he realized it no longer felt like home, not in his dad’s old house, not in his new apartment, in a different city, nowhere. He became almost a recluse, filled with rage, resentment and frustrations, never leaving his house much, except for runs to the closest liquor store or the bar down the street.

The first few weeks, Murphy gave him space to sort out his thoughts, drink himself into oblivion, chain-smoke through the night and avoid human interaction like the goddamn plague, only checking on every now and then but never pushing.

Then, they started showing up.

First it was just Murphy, with beer and bad jokes, watching football games, doing anything but talk about Colombia or feelings. Then, Connie started showing up too, with thinly vailed concern and always bringing something for him to eat, all while trying to pull words out of him with pliers. They even had their daughter have a try at him, convinced that no one could resist the innocence of a small, bright-eyed child, especially one that loved her ‘uncle Javi’ like he hung the moon just for her. Yes, Javier loved his niece and would do anything for her, but that was the one thing that he couldn’t do, mostly because he didn’t know how.

No matter how many times he tried to turn them down, they were relentless. They’d pestered, prodded, and outright bullied him into getting out of the house ­– something about fresh air, new experiences, maybe even fun, as if he had any patience for that word anymore. They started up with the occasional dinner invitation, then it was offers to take him out for drinks – somewhere nice instead of the dingy, dimly lit bar where Javi spent his weekends. He never wanted to go anywhere, but Murphy and Connie always insisted until he gave in just to shut them the hell up. Well, more Connie than Murphy, really – she was the one planning every intervention, though she’d been sweet enough not to say that word out loud.

And now… this.

This one – Oh, this one took the cake.

A fucking art gallery.

Connie got her grabby hands on some invitations from an old patient lady that actually owned the fancy Modern Art Gallery in Houston, and Murphy, as the good husband that he was, just went along with it.

But Javier Peña didn’t belong here. That much was obvious from the moment he stepped through the doors of the establishment, wearing a scowl and the same old leather jacked that had seen more blood and dust than it had high society.

The walls were lined with massive canvases – some monochrome, others smeared in chaotic swirls of color – but what stood out the most were the ones that had been slashed and punctured, riddled with holes like someone had taken a knife to them in a drunken rage.

Murphy, the bastard, was actually trying to appreciate it. He stood next to Connie, nodding along as she pointed to different pieces. Javi had no doubt Steve didn’t understand a damn thing either, but unlike Javier, he was at least pretending.

He took a long sip of his whiskey – at least the open bar made this bearable.

At one point during the night, Connie leaned in and, in a hushed, reverent tone, explained that the artist, Lucio Fontana, had created these pieces with great precision to “explore spatial concepts beyond the canvases”, emphasizing “the interplay of light, shadow and space.” He just rolled his eyes and moved further away from her in a corner, plotting his escape.

What a load of bullshit.

All he could see were stab wounds. Bullet holes. Scars carved into the fabric of the country he had spent too many years fighting in. If he looked long enough, he swore he could see blood seeping through, hear the gunshots echoing in his skull.

And maybe that said more about him than the art itself.

He exhaled, running a hand over his face. He needed another drink.

He turned to leave – and walked straight into someone.

“Shit, sorry.” He muttered taking a step back, but the woman in front of him didn’t seem bothered.

You were standing close to one of the mutilated canvases, your back straight, hands folded in front of you as you studied it. You wore a calf-length silk skirt that shimmered under the lights and a lacy top that showed just enough skin to be distracting. But what struck him the most was the way you were looking at the canvas in front of you – not with the pretentious admiration of the other guests but with quiet, genuine thoughtfulness.

You waved off his apology with a small smile before turning your gaze back to the painting – a deep navy-blue canvas punctured with what looked like a thousand tiny holes.

Javier should’ve walked away, but instead he looked at you looking at the painting, and the curiosity got the better of him.

“You actually like this shit?”

You smiled, slow and knowing, like you were expecting that reaction. “Maybe.”

Javier huffed incredulous, crossing his arms. “Really?”

You gestured to the navy punctured canvas, “It reminds me of an old story my grandmother used to tell me when I was little.”

Javier pulled his eyebrows together, puzzled. The only thing it reminded him of was the dark colored government van that got ambushed and was completely obliterated along with the agents inside. But he couldn’t say that, and before he could open up his mouth to say anything else, you already started telling your story.

“Before the humans appeared on the planet, the rocks, animals and plants lived in harmony. They were the people of the world. They lived in harmony and peace, appreciating and taking care of the nature and of one another. They woke up every morning greeting the Sun, and went to sleep waving goodbye to the Moon, thanking her for looking over them.”

Javi found himself listening despite himself, watching you as you talked, tilting you head in his direction, gaze lost, but a small smile creeping on your lips as you continued to narrate the story.

“As time passed, they started to forget. They didn’t greet the Sun anymore or show any appreciation, and the Moon was completely forgotten. They became jealous of each other, thinking others possessed more than them, greed taking over their hearts. They started to take more than they needed, either to consume or to sell away. They didn’t help each other, cooperation didn’t exist anymore. They separated more and more, arguing, hating, fighting, hurting each other.”

His eyes darted between you and the painting, his mind running a thousand miles per hour, but knew better than to try to interrupt you.

“The Creator had been watching and said ‘Enough’, throwing a blanket over the whole world. Now the world was in darkness, people frightened. Each of them tried individually to take off the blanket, but no one was able to reach that far. Desperate, they formed a council, to discuss what they should do. After endless meetings and failed attempts, a hummingbird came with a plan that demanded everyone to cooperate. The hummingbird got on top of the crow, the crow got on top of the owl, and the owl on the eagle. The idea was simple, the eagle was supposed to fly as high as he could, then when his energy ran out, the owl took over, then the crow, until finally the hummingbird got close enough to puncture the blanket with its beak. Light seeped through, and everyone got their hope back. They started working together until they punctured enough holes in the blanket for them to have light and warmth again. The animals that couldn’t fly helped from the ground, preparing water, food and shelter for everyone. The Creator was so pleased to see that the people were living again in harmony that he lifted off the blanket, and the people never took what they had for granted anymore.” You seemed to finish your story the moment your eyes were focused on again, this time shifting your gaze towards Javier. His face was an amalgamation of emotions – confusion, admiration, concentration. “Anyway, it’s said that after they lived again in harmony and peace for many, many years, the people started to forget again.” You added with a shrug, this time with a knowing look into your eyes.

Javier looked at the canvas again. He still saw violence – still saw the wounds, the tearing, the things he couldn’t erase from his mind. But for the first time, he also saw what you did. Something else. Hopeful.

“You got all that from a couple stab marks on a painting?

You turned to him fully, amusement flickering in your eyes. “Art is what you make of it.”

Javier tilted his head, watching you. “So, what do you make of that one?” he said pointing to a different canvas – one with a long, deep cut right in the middle of it, like a wound.

You studied it for a moment, pursing your lips, then said, “Loneliness.”

“Loneliness?”

“Yes, the loneliness we all feel sometimes, almost like a wound right in the middle.” You said tracing absentmindedly a finger over your chest. “Separation. The way we carve ourselves apart from others, whether by choice or by force.”

Javier’s smirk faded slightly. He wasn’t used to conversations like this. Usually, when he talked to women, it was all surface-level-flirting, small talk, nothing deeper than what was necessary. But this? This was different.

If your words affected him, he didn’t let it show, but truth be told, a bitch slap would’ve stung him less than this.

He scoffed giving a skeptical look, “Alright smartass, and that one?” he pointed to another, where multiple slashes ran parallel, like scars.

After another pause for consideration, you said, “Community. We crave connection, we need it. No one survives alone. Even if we are wounded, we heal better when we are surrounded by others. Pain shared is pain halved.”

He almost wanted to ask if you knew Steve and Connie and if they put you up to this, but something in your expression made him reconsider, because when you spoke, when you came up with these awful, soul barring interpretations, you seemed lost in thoughts for a second.

“Where do you come up with this stuff?”

You grinned, “Pulled it out of my ass, mostly.”

He barked out a laugh, “Figures.”

You leaned in slightly, voice conspiratorial, “Truth is, I think this whole thing is bullshit.”

Now that was something he could get behind. “Then how the hell does a smart woman like you end up stuck at an art gallery she doesn’t even like?”

“My grandmother owns the gallery.”

Javier blinked. “Shit.”

You smiled slyly, “Yeah, so don’t tell her I said that.”

“No promises.” He said, “I’m Javier, by the way.” he added, and you shook his hand telling him your own name.

After a beat, you cleared the air, “The only one I’ve actually meant was the first one. The story kind of stuck with me.” You said as you rotated your forearm, letting him see the tiny hummingbird tattoo you had, so small, fragile and beautiful. He wanted to kiss it, honestly,

“So, you really believe in that?” he asked with his characteristic smile plastered on his face.

You glanced at him. ‘Believe in what? That the sky is a blanket and the stars are holes?” you asked amused.

Javier shrugged, “I mean, the whole idea. That there’s a way out, that people could actually find a way to fix their world at some point.” He explained his question, because it sure like hell never felt like that when he tried to lift the proverbial blanket that the cartels threw over Colombia.

You smiled, but there was something wistful in it. “I think stories like that exist because people need them to. To make sense of things, to find hope. The world’s a little less lonely when you see that there are others with the same way of thinking. Maybe if more people knew the story and they’d believe in it, things would change too.”

Javi studied you. You weren’t like the rest of the people here – weren’t fawning over the art just to seem cultured, weren’t talking in circles to sound impressive. You were just… real.

And that was a dangerous thing for him to be around.

You two stood there, quiet for a moment, the hum of conversation and clinking glasses filling the space between you. It should have been awkward, but it wasn’t.

Javi wasn’t sure when was the last time he’d met someone who actually entertained him, let alone someone who made him forget the shitstorm in his head. You had that way of carrying yourself – calm, amused, like the world was something to be studied but never taken too seriously.

“So, what about you?” you said after a moment, “If you hate this so much, why are you here?”

Javier sighed, glancing across the room where Steve was balancing a glass of wine while his wife animatedly discussed another piece. “Some friends dragged me.” He muttered.

You nodded in consideration, then looked around for your own dear grandmother. She was way over her head discussing with a circle of quests just like she did the whole night. Aside from knowing that you came, she didn’t get the chance to check in on you or chat at any point during the event, and you took a wild guess that it wouldn’t be happening anytime soon either.

You grinned, tilting your head slightly. “Tell you what – I’ll make you a deal.”

Javier arched a brow. “Yeah?”

You leaned in, lowering your voice. “There’s a bar two blocks from here. No abstract art, no bullshit. Just whiskey and decent company. Maybe some food too. You in?”

Javier hadn’t expected the night to be anything other than a painful endurance test, something he did mostly for his friends than for himself. He sure hadn’t expected to meet someone like you. And for the first time in a long time, he thought – why the hell not?

His lips curved into a genuine smile – he couldn’t remember when was the last time he smiled as much as he did ever since he started talking to you.

“Hell yeah, lead the way.”

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[kaiser1ns]

#. SPEED DEMON

featuring 𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝘅 𝗳𝗲𝗺!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 ıllı. endo yamato, takiishi chika

fluff. your boyfriend lives for the adrenaline, or in other words, he loves it when you cling to him when he speeds up, or when you put stickers on his bike.

inspired by michael jackson's song "speed demon"

BIKER BOYFRIEND!ENDO YAMATO

A dark black leather jacket, with a large white print on the back that was the same as the tattoo on his left shoulder, paired with an obsidian-colored helmet with the addition of a few contrasting Hello Kitty stickers, boots tapping the cemented ground as he leaned back on his motorcycle waiting for his beloved girlfriend to get ready, with another helmet resting on the seat that was the same color as the clouds adorned with black snake and pink bow stickers.

He didn't mind waiting, even though it was late at night but when he got the "I'm hungry" message, he immediately dressed and came at full speed to wait for you in front of your home, and you didn’t even get a text back, because his engine is so loud you always know he is there. Endo wasn't going to lie, it was cold, but he was sure that the moment he saw you, his body would warm up again.

Leaning on his motorcycle, he has his usual laid-back smirk as he glances at the door focusing on the sound of your footsteps getting closer. When the door finally opened, revealing you in your cute outfit for the night, his eyes lit up. His first words, always teasing but you knew he was all bark, no bite. “Princesses sure take a lot of time to get ready, huh?” He pushed off the bike, walking over to greet you when gloved hands cup the side of your face as he pressed a sweet, quick kiss on the lips. It’s soft and delicate, but you know Endo well enough to tell there’s more behind it–more that he’s holding back for later.

“But don’t worry your prince will always wait for you.”

Before you can even reply, Endo drapes his jacket around your shoulders, despite the fact you already had the same, you’d grabbed the first one you found on the hanger. It smelled like him, motor oil and strong cologne. “You don’t need to–” you started, but he was already securing your helmet, his fingers brushing against your skin with a tenderness that was the complete opposite of his rugged exterior.

“I know,” he says, “but I want to.” he zips the jacket up, making sure the helmet is tight, but not so tight that it hurts. Once everything was set, you hopped onto the back of the bike, resting your head against him, and wrapped your arms around his waist, feeling the warmth of his body under your hands. “The best photos I take of us always happen at times like this,” you murmured when he revved the engine and you felt the powerful rumble beneath you as he sped off down the dark road.

The cool wind greeted you both, and you gripped him harder, letting out a scream when he made a sudden drift and he just laughed at your reaction as he pushed the bike faster down the empty road.

When you finally arrived at the fast-food joint, you stayed outside seated on the bike, scrolling through his phone and snapping pictures while he disappeared inside to grab food. A few minutes later, he came back, pulling his gloves with his teeth and tossing you the bag of food before noticing how your eyes were concerted on something. “Baby, you got another speeding ticket,” you said, holding up the screen for him to see. He glanced at it, then shrugged, his hand already digging into the fries.

“Is that so?” the way he replied told you everything–you both knew he didn’t care. To Endo, every ticket was just another excuse for you to hold onto him tighter, no law existed to him. A ticket also meant a free ride to the love island, is what he likes to say. But you as well paid no mind, not when the food you have been caring for was delivered by yours truly. 

“Aren’t you cold?” you were fully covered, with his jacket on top of yours and he was just wearing a black shirt that was clinging to his body, his tattoos on display. "Not when you light up my heart." Always the smooth talker, but if he catches a cold it's on him. Playfully rolling your eyes as you unwrapped the burger and took a bite then offered it as he took a bite as well. You loved moments like this with him the most, just the two of you in the middle of the night, on a cute little date and racing at full speed with the stars.

After both of you were done, getting up on the bike you clung to him again on the ride back. With each mile, you felt closer, the world slipping away as the two of you raced through the night together. He would send you to another dimension, you were sure about that, somehow he always did, and as much as you enjoyed these long rides with no direction in mind your bed was also calling you. 

"Can you stay for tonight?" you'd ask him, leather jackets still on you and how can he say no to you? He will always wait, he will always stay because he can speed up all he wants on the highway, but he will always take things slow with you.

BIKER BOYFRIEND!TAKIISHI CHIKA

Tools scattered everywhere, the sound of the rumbling engine drowning out the music you had put on while sitting at the table eating ice cream in your boyfriend's garage. A big part of his time involved maintaining his bike, and you spend hours in that same garage where you have learned a thing or two, but you preferred to watch while he worked on his own for once, without Endo's help. "You missed tightening that part." pointing your finger down on the machine when he gave you the 'don't tell me what to do' look but you were right. He forgot to apply part of the brake and, at the very least, he wouldn't like for something to happen. "And you tell me I don't understand anything... I just saved your life." Taking another bite of the ice cream as you watched him wiping his face with the hem of his tank top showing off his toned stomach suddenly the cone of sweetness fell to the ground making a mess, when he turned to see what was happening he saw how red you have gotten. “You are always making a mess…” raising his eyebrow when he went inside the house to get something to clean it up, well, for you to clean because Takiishi won't bother to. He had always been the calm type, as calm as he can be. So when he stepped outside, his usual indifference clouding his eyes, you saw the perfect opportunity to strike. His burgundy-colored bike stood there, gleaming in the light ready to be taken over. Looking behind your back, just to make sure he was gone, you pulled out a collection of stickers—Sanrio characters, kittens, candy, and the most important ‘I love my girlfriend’ sticker. You were about to press it onto the bike, and you felt a sudden yank on your wrist. 

You yelped as Takiishi's grip tightened, his serious stare making you shiver despite the hot temperature. Uh-oh. You were caught red-handed, with him having that serious stare that meant he wasn't in a good mood. 

"Ta-da!" is all you could have managed to say, voice nervously cracking as you stuck the girlfriend sticker on the bike anyway. The mission failed successfully. But despite that, you knew he was angry, mad even. You knew because his grip on your wrist was getting tighter, and it hurt. "Chika, I-I'm sorr–" you started, and the way his eyes told you he was trying to balance the lines between anger and indifference. Yet, to your surprise, he released you not before he glanced at the peeling sticker and calmly pressed it back on.

You were on the border between the people who stood in his way and those he had to eliminate. Just like a sticker, you had a beautiful design but you won't be peeling out soon from him.

"Ask next time." you blinked at his strange reaction, more so the way he calmly collected his tools and put them in the box. "Huh?" is all you could mutter when he was done and stood up in front of you, and you were slowly melting like the ice cream on the ground.

"Ask me next time." he put something on your cheek before he went back inside and you went to check yourself on his bike mirror. It was a pink heart sticker covered in flames. You were the one who always teased him and did whatever you wanted, and once again he beat you at your own game. Takiishi Chika always wins, no matter who he's up against, and he will do everything for you even if he doesn't voice it, he will prove it after you remove all the stickers of course.

"I removed everything," you muttered, disappointed that the bike was back to its plain burgundy state. You sighed, feeling a little defeated. This is what you get when trying to surprise someone like him with something like that. But much to his dismay he left only one sticker and it was ... 

"I love my boyfriend so much!" You couldn’t help but yell, kissing him on the cheek with an exaggerated and loud “mwah,” you jumped onto his back, wrapping your arms around him as he held your legs. He actually didn't care that you put stickers, he just didn't expect it to be that many. Takiishi showed he cared, even if he didn’t always say it out loud, but the glued label sure did.

taglist :: @kiurona @nyxypoo @17020 @stunies @maruflix @heartkaji @meidiary @slerixx @kazuhaiku

©2024 kaiser1ns do not copy, repost or modify my work

[margotw10bis]

The Place Before the Darkness.JJK [m] Part 1

husband!Jungkook x female reader

Genre: angst; fluff; smut; attempt of a thriller

Words: 18.4k

Synopsis: It was love at first sight with your husband but when you find a secret phone in Jungkook's office, everything shatters as you suspect him to have an affair. However, maybe he has deeper secrets...

Warnings: (a lot of) crying (infidelity doubts, lies); violence; unprotected sex; shower sex; oral sex (f. receiving); fingering; inspired by Mr. & Mrs. Smith and Killers

4 Years Ago

You can’t believe Mi-yeon is getting married! You want to laugh when you remember how many times she told you that marriage wasn’t for her. But there she is. And you would have never guessed that she was this romantic — or maybe it’s because of Hoseok, her soon-to-be-husband. 

As they wanted to do something special, they have invited their closest friends to Bali. The wedding will take place tomorrow in front of a beautiful beach, as perfect as the numerous romcom you’ve watched. It’s really romantic and you can’t wait to get married too because, even if you don’t really want to admit it, your hopelessly romantic weak heart is all about love and weddings and cheesy things couples can do. Well, you have to find a man first, which is not easy. 

After all, you only had one boyfriend, during college. You don’t know much about love despite the hundreds of romance books you have read. But even you know that Prince Charming doesn’t exist… With that thought in mind you sigh and sip on your — delicious — cocktail, hoping at least one day you’ll meet someone kind enough. You don’t need someone extraordinary who has lived a hundred lives before. Just someone who is honest with you, that would be more than enough for you. 

But for now, the bar of the hotel is great, just like the rest of the facilities, especially to forget how awfully lonely you are while your friend is getting married. You look around and you try to spot your friends, before you remember that they wanted to scuba dive. Too dangerous for you, you rather much enjoy tanning on the beach. Maybe you’re boring, but it’s a too stupid way to die in your opinion. And what about the sharks? The jellyfishes? The sea urchins? No thanks. A good book is funnier — and safer. 

Yet, the relaxing time you were expecting is fading away when a man takes the seat next to yours at the bar. Your breath hitches because damn! He looks good. You are not sure you’ve ever seen a man this handsome. He is tall and his black hair is shining. He looks casual with his Hawaiian shirt and his shorts. Okay, he must be very muscular because you can see how the fabric of his bottom held his thighs. And what is it on his right arm? Tattoos? It’s the first time you get to see so much ink in real life. It’s scary but… sexy. All of the stranger seems sexy. Especially his charming smile. 

You’re having a hard time not staring at him but what can you say? It’s not easy taking your eyes off of him. He is attractive, too attractive. It’s in moments like that you wish you had more confidence so you could talk to him but at the same time, would someone like him be interested in you? You have no doubts he just has to clap his fingers for a dozen of women to be naked in front of him. And yet…

"No scuba diving?" He asks you

You are surprised — it’s an understatement — because how the hell does he know that?! But you can’t say anything when you meet his eyes. They are so black, it’s intimidating but there is a sparkle of playfulness in them. This man is a paradox: all seems mysterious and comfortable at the same time; cold and warm; distant and kind. However, a weird feeling embraces you, just like you’ve known him all your life. Is it… love at first sight? You’ve read about it, you’ve seen it in movies but experiencing it… Wow, it’s an all other level. 

"I saw you and your group of friends yesterday at the restaurant, and this morning, I spotted them heading to the boats" He explains — your shock must have been well visible 

"You have a great memory to remember so much about strangers" You joke 

“Selective memory in fact”  He corrects with a oh-so-charming smile and you literally feel your heart melt and your cheeks burn “And I’m particularly attentive to beautiful women"

This sentence could make you ill-at-ease, it’s such a playboy thing. But the way he is sipping on his fresh beer so casually and his eyes… So honest. You must be crazy because you feel like he hasn’t said those words to anyone else but you which it’s impossible. Like you said before: dozens of women must be at his feet. 

"I—It’s—"  

Okay, it’s so embarrassing to stutter in front of him, especially when he seems to be confident — but could he not when he looks this good. You can’t do otherwise and it doesn’t help that you are blushing. 

"I’m Jungkook" He introduces himself, holding his hand to you

You take it, and gosh… How can holding someone’s hand feel so right? If those stupid books are right, maybe it’s what love at first sight is. 

"Y/N" You gulp 

Sweet smiles are exchanged, someway conveying silent promises and confessions. A weird sensation. A good sensation. Jungkook seems to be everything you’re looking for in a man and it’s quite overwhelming. Unfortunately for you, when you’re stressed, you talk nonsense and you don’t have time to shut your mouth. 

“I’m afraid of being strangled by an octopus” You say out of the blunt to get back to his first words and you watch in horror surprise lightens up his face “That’s why I didn’t go scuba diving. But I’m okay, I read. Maybe it doesn’t look too exciting to read while you’re in Bali but I really enjoy it, especially this book about a princess who escapes the castle to live with the squire but it turns out that he lied to her and he is actually the last son of the foe kingdom and he had a mission of kidnapping the princess. It’s not as stupid as it sounds. I know that my friend Mi-yeon (she is getting married tomorrow) says that I should stop reading those novels but I think dreaming a little is not that bad, right? Do you dream?” You know how stupid you sound and you want to slap you in the face

Jungkook eases you with his sweet smile and you fall even more for him. 

"Can I invite you for diner?" He asks and you have to pinch your arm to make sure you are not dreaming 

Is this handsome guy seriously asking you out? You? You have seen beautiful women since you arrived, way more beautiful than you so why? Maybe it’s a mistake but this mistake might be your only chance to spend time with Jungkook. You just can’t take your eyes off of him and you don’t care if it lasts one night, one week or only one second. You know it deep down, he already has all of your heart and it only took him one minute.

Later that day, you took extra care on your makeup and you choose one of your favorite dresses, a satin white dress with thin straps — thanks to your light tan, the color fits better than usual. You even had to call Mi-yeon for advice about your hair: letting it loose or tightening it into a bun? Your friend choose the bun — the argument about avoiding hair in your mouth during diner convinced you. 

You really, really hope that your makeup conceals your blushed cheeks — it can’t do anything for your pounding heart. It’s actually strange because you do feel stressed about this date — you can’t believe it’s a date! — but you also feel like it’s the most natural thing ever to meet Jungkook. 

A wave of comfort wraps around you when you spot Jungkook at one of the tables of the walls-free restaurant. The setting is really romantic. The only lighting comes from a multitude of candles, warmly licking the wooden columns. The structure is framed with light and white curtains flying around with the light breeze coming from the near beach. 

Yes, it’s gorgeous but you can’t enjoy it. All you can see is him. Just him with his black hair styled backwards, but it’s natural since a lock of hair falls on his forehead. He is perfect in his white shirt that holds his brawn chest. And his damn smile… It could kill. The way Jungkook is looking at you and is smiling at you, it makes your heart stops — or pounds at a crazy pace, you don’t know. 

On the other hand, Jungkook’s heart is not better. You look stunning. The most beautiful woman he has ever seen. You are breathtaking in your dress and he wonders why he is feeling like that. Fuck, he even doesn’t know what love is and yet, it can’t be anything else than that. One look, it’s all it took for him to love you. All he has believed in, all he has thought was the truth, all he has planned for his future, it’s all shattered. Maybe it should scare him but it doesn’t. He can’t be scared when he has met you, when you exist and you are in front of him. He swears that, if you are crazy enough to want him, you will wear a white dress soon, on your wedding day with him. 

"You are beautiful" He whispers, more for himself and for you, as he stands up to welcome you 

"You look great too" You reply with blushed cheeks 

You sit down and talk. All night long and it feels like ten minutes. You never get out of topics and the more he talks, the more you love him. He tells you that he is an architect, that he is actually here for work and that he is quite lonely — but he realized it only recently. You also learn that he lives in Seoul, like you, which makes you think that you could see each other when you both come back to South Korea. 

Despite the night going well, you can’t help but blathering on stupid and weird things like your neighbor’s dog that ate a pigeon once or the time the cashier wanted to sell you marijuana in the supermarket because you ‘looked miserable’ — to be fair it was just after your breakup but you left that part aside for Jungkook. Rather than looking at you like you were crazy, Jungkook seems charmed by your rambling. Maybe because he knows that it’s caused by your attraction to him. 

"Well" You say as Jungkook is walking you to your room "It was very nice"

Your hands brush from time to time and even if it’s a light touch, it electrifies you. You wish you can touch him more but you are too shy to do the first move. Jungkook has been sweet but he is so perfect that you wonder if you are good enough for him — funny when he wonders if he is good enough for you. 

You are disappointed when you reach your door. You should have lied and said that your room was on the other side of the hotel complex. You sigh and grab the magnetic card unlocking the door. The night is over and you are sad. You wish it could never end because you don’t want to let him go. You want to stay with him tonight, all nights actually. You have known him for a few hours but you don’t know how life is without him anymore. It’s crazy. 

"It was" Jungkook says softly 

Should you go? Yes, you should but you don’t want to. You ask your brain to look for anything to keep talking to him. Nothing comes to your mind so you stare at him, eyes locked into his beautiful, shining doe eyes. 

"I want to kiss you, if you allow me to"

You can’t believe that he says that so casually while your hearts is jumping in your chest. Is he used to this? Because you are certainly not. But who are you to deny him?

So you nod and your pounding heart echoes in your ears when Jungkook steps closer. He gently cups your face and ever so slowly, presses his lips on yours. It’s sweet and kind and romantic and perfect. The best kiss ever, so you naturally want to feel him more. You wrap your arms around his neck and invite him to kiss you deeper. 

Despite being glued to each other, Jungkook doesn’t want to push too much. Especially because he doesn’t want it to be the only time he kisses you. He wants to do it everyday, for the rest of his life. If he didn’t know it before, your mouth on his assures it. 

He pulls back and rests his forehead against yours while you are catching your breath. Both the kiss and the explosion of emotions that it brings left you breathless. You are in trouble: you are irreparably in love with him. 

"Y/N" God, your name has never sounded so good "Can I take you on a date? When we are in Korea?" 

—————

“Can I call you back?” You ask through the phone but actually don’t wait for any answer and just hang up

You were searching some documents for the assurance in your husband’s office when you found it. A phone. At first, you tried to look for some rational explanations of why your husband would hide a phone in his desk. It could be an old devise but you have never seen it before. Moreover, it’s quite a recent phone. So, your next thought was that it could be a professional phone. And you wished it was. But it wasn’t. 

The latest text, from yesterday, was an address. A hotel address. It was an appointment for tomorrow. Your heart sunk as you went through the convo: over and over again, the same hotel room with different dates and hours. For four months. 

So this is it. Your husband is cheating on you. You can’t stop your crying because the pain in your chest is just unbearable. You have to open the window because you can’t breathe, your lungs seem too small all of the sudden. You thought that Jungkook was the love of your life when you married him three years ago. And even now, with your broken heart, you still believe he is. You haven’t thought about living without him, it can’t be possible. 

When you hear the front door and your husband asking if you’re home, your sobbing gets lourder and  you have to put your hand on your mouth to mutter it. The steps you know so well — just like you thought you knew your husband so well — are getting closer and closer. Jungkook calls you again but doesn’t receive any answer. He heads to your bedroom but finds it empty. He frowns, growing worried because he knows you should be home. Then, he hears some fainted noises coming from the corridor. He concentrates and spots that the noises are located in his office. When he pushed the door, he didn’t think he would find you crying in his leather chair. The biggest tears he has seen since he knows you.

“What’s going on”’ He hastily asks you, panicked that you might be hurt 

And you are indeed. You are feeling so much pain that you wonder how your heart hasn’t stop beating of how squeezed it has become. 

“I can’t believe it…” You whisper, more to yourself than to him

Once again, your husband frowns but only a second. Because his big does eyes widen at the sight of his secret device in your shaky hand. All his blood is drained from his face, making his skin look pale. He gulps but his throat feels as dry as a desert. 

“I can explain” He starts but his voice is already broken 

Why do his words hurt even more? They sound so much like what you have witnessed in movies. You close your eyes in a ridiculous attempt to prevent the hurricane from happening but it’s already too late. It’s four months too late. 

“Y/N, I swear, it’s not what you think” Jungkook beseeches as he steps closer but you hold your hand up to stop him

“So you don’t go to those rendezvous in that hotel?” You ask

Your voice has some hope in it, like you still think there is a tiny chance that your husband is not cheating on you. But a single glance at him and at his guilty face is enough to definitely break this hope. How can you know him this much and not at all at the same time? 

Your crying breaks the heavy silence around you. Every single tear is killing Jungkook. He doesn’t know what to do but he absolutely hates seeing you suffer. And he hates even more being the reason of it. He feels all your pain like his own. He feels your heart breaking in his own chest. Three years ago, at your wedding, he promised you to punish all the persons who would hurt you. Today, he might have to punish himself. 

“Please, believe me, I’m not cheating on you” He begs

He wishes you’d look him in the eyes so you could see how much he loves you but you can’t. You can’t look at him without feeling like dying. Your soul is being torn apart so roughly — mainly because you haven’t imagined that Jungkook would ever do that. Your husband is perfect. When you talk with your friends and tell them about the flowers he bought you, or the restaurant he took you just because you said that you saw an ad on social medias, they always envy you to have such a caring and loving husband. When your friends cry about being cheated on, you always tell yourself that you’re lucky that you won’t ever live that. 

And here you are. 

“So what are those messages, Jungkook? Who asks you to meet at the hotel?!” You ask and yell and cry at the same time 

You are confused, angry and sad. You don’t know what to think and Jungkook either. He doesn’t say anything that it’s driving you crazy. Why doesn’t he deny? Why doesn’t he say that all those texts are a misdial? Why doesn’t he tell you he loves you? 

Every second of silence takes away a piece of your broken heart. 

"I’m sorry…” Jungkook finally says

It’s the worst thing he could say. Because now it’s real. It’s too much real. Someway, you wish he has lied, denied anything and told you that you misread the situation. Maybe you could have gone on with your life. But he said he’s sorry. So everything is true. Now, you can’t hold on an irrational explanation because it’s fucking true! 

You run pass though him and it hurts a little more that Jungkook doesn’t even try to stop you. You leave your house like you wish you could leave the pain behind. 

You spend the night at your friend’s. You try to cry yourself to sleep but you can’t. The pain in your chest keeps you up all night and it gets worse every time you imagine your husband and an unknown woman in this hotel room. Aren’t you enough? Did you change? Did you get boring? You didn’t even see the signs, Jungkook seemed as happy as ever. Your sex life didn’t decrease so you wonder if it has ever been enough for your husband. You try to look at the past four months and spot out the little changes but everything was the same! Maybe even better. Jungkook is such a great actor because you would have never imagined he would have a double life. 

—————

You stare at the ceiling of your friend’s guest room. You want to empty your mind but your heart is too painful to ignore and it reminds you of Jungkook. Ever since you have met him, he has filled your soul, brain and heart. It’s just impossible not to. But right now, you wish you could just forget everything, especially the day you saw him for the first time, four years ago. 

You did spend the night crying but you also thought. Maybe your marriage is not over. Maybe there is still hope. You could forgive Jungkook. You could if it means you’ll get to be with him. You’ll talk about it, he’ll promise to not see her ever again and you’ll push this painful episode aside so you can follow up with your life together as before. 

But before that, you have to make sure that Jungkook won’t attend his date today. You saw on the phone yesterday that he was expected at six pm in the same hotel. He is not stupid enough to go after that his wife found out about his affair, right? If he loves you, and he does, he won’t go. Right? 

But if he does go, then it means there is no hope left. It’s all over. And you’re not sure you’ll survive it. 

So you don’t really know why you’re in the hotel lobby. You keep telling yourself that Jungkook loves you and that you trust him but you’re still here. You have never been more stressed in all your 28 year-old life. You look at your watch every ten seconds. You almost sigh in relief when 6:01 is written on your wrist, like you find yourself so damn stupid to have thought that Jungkook would show up. 

But he does. As he walks toward the elevator, looking as good as ever in his black suit, he tramples on your poor heart at each step. He enters the elevator and disappears behind the metallic doors. It’s all over. Jungkook is flying away with your heart, your love, your soul and pretty much your whole life. It’s so painful that you feel empty. It’s a dull ache in your whole body and there is nothing you can do about it. Your husband didn’t chose you while you would have chosen him a hundred times. 

Your body moves automatically as you are heading to the bar of the hotel. You hate that he has chosen such a luxury hotel to cheat on you. Does she deserve all this? You hate her. You hate him. You hate how he hurt you. But mostly, you hate that you don’t hate him. Even after breaking your heart, you still love him. 

When the bartender hands you your order, you scoff. You didn’t even realized that you ordered a wapplesky, a apple and whiskey cocktail, your husband’s favorite. Your eyes water when you take your first sip and you wish you could blame it on the bitterness of the alcohol. 

You feel the presence of a man next to you. At first, you thought it was Jungkook because of the black suit the man is wearing. But it’s not him. However, the man is really, really handsome. His brown hair matches his brown eyes. His nose is straight and flawless. And you can tell he is muscular underneath his clothes. Yes, he looks really good but you can’t help comparing him with Jungkook and he doesn’t stand a chance. Will you think that about all the men you’ll meet? If so, maybe you won’t ever be able to love again. 

You swallow the rest of your glass and the stranger takes the opportunity to talk to you, or to flirt with you actually. 

“Can I get you another one?" His voice is charming, soft and deep

You do appreciate how soothing it is. But should you accept the offer? Well, Jungkook is probably fucking another woman right now so… 

“Yes, thank you” You try to sound cheerful 

“Jackson, by the way” The man introduces himself and you do the same 

You both start talking and oddly enough, you don’t feel as bad as before. Maybe your pride gets a little restored at the thought of flirting with the another man when your husband has been cheating on you for four months. 

“So, you’re visiting Seoul?” Jackson asks at some point 

“No, actually I live here”

“So, what are you doing in a hotel?” His question is nothing but curiosity but it brings a huge weight into your chest that makes you wince 

Should you tell him? Won’t you be embarrassed? Maybe but your whole life is already upside down so it can’t be worse. 

"Actually, my husband is here” Instinctively, Jackson’s eyes land on your ring that he hasn’t noticed before, way too distract by your beautiful yet sad eyes “With another woman”

Jackson is taken aback, not sure what to say but you help him by asking:

“What am I doing here when he obviously doesn’t care about me?”

Your voice breaks at the end of your sentence. Your tears escape your eyes. You honestly don’t believe that the pain will ever go away, it’s just too much. 

“It’s never stupid to do things out of love”

You look up at Jackson, surprised by his comforting words. He truly looks like a good man. His warm hand gently squeezes yours on the desk bar and he gives you a soft smile. He does look cute like that, completely at the opposite of the sexy and charismatic man he is when his handsome face is neutral. 

You squeeze his hand back to silently thank him and his thumb caresses the back of your hand. You almost moan when it takes off the unbearable weight off of your chest for a second. For all the people around you, your interaction seems intimate. You are indeed pretty close to each other and the tenderness in your both eyes could be interpreted as a heavy flirting. Your touching hands are puzzling. 

Especially for Jungkook. As he walked through the lobby, he spotted you in the open bar. He can’t be wrong, he‘d recognize you in a thousand-people crowd. But what the hell are you doing with this man? Who is he? And why is he fucking holding your hand? Jungkook feels his jaws and fists clench as he walks to you with a dark and dangerous aura around him. He swears, he could kill the man touching his wife. 

Jungkook moves quickly and precisely as he grabs Jackson’s arm and twists it against his back in an professional armlock. Jackson hisses in pain and you gasp in shock. 

“Don’t fucking touch her!” Jungkook barks

“Jungkook, stop! Are you crazy?!” You shout as you try to push him

Your strength is nothing compared to your husband’s but as he feels your hands on his tensed forearms, he releases his hold and frees the man. 

“Oh my god, Jackson, are you okay?” You ask, worried, which only makes Jungkook angrier — why do you care about that guy in the first place? 

“Yeah, don’t worry” Jackson reassures you while massaging his sore arm and shoulder

“What is wrong with you?” You yell at your husband 

“Am I supposed to let another man touch and flirt with my wife?” Jungkook talks back, clearly upset 

You can’t believe his audacity! He has been cheating on you for four months and even after you found out, he went to see his mistress! You scoff, not even caring to respond. He is pathetic. You grab your bag and Jackson’s hand before heading towards the elevators. Both men follow you, completely flabbergasted by your actions. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Jungkook asks but you ignore him 

“You have a room right?” You talk to Jackson and he nods “Then, we’re going to have sex” 

The doors of the elevators open and you push Jackson inside but your husband gets in too. 

“What the fuck?!” He yells and you ignore him once again “You’re not doing that!”

“Why not? Didn’t you do it just now?” You reply 

“No, I didn’t! I told you I didn’t cheat on you"

“So why are you here ?!” You yell 

“I can’t tell you but I swear, I’m not cheating on—“

Jungkook stops talking as he perceives a movement at his peripheral vision. Jackson has pulled a shiv out of his inside suit pocket and Jungkook blocks it only a inch away from his stomach. However, he receives a punch in his ribs that makes him wince but he doesn’t have time to think and roughly pushes Jackson again the wall. The impact is so violent that the elevator shakes a little and that Jackson drops his knife. Jungkook’s body immediately tensed in the small room and his eyes darken, just like he was ready to kill someone. 

Jackson fights back and punches Jungkook in the face while your husband crushes Jackson’s ankle with his foot. The brown haired man falls down with a growl, which allows Jungkook to take the avantage. He throws numerous punches in Jackson’s face until his nose and lips bleed, mixing with his own cut knuckles. The last remained forces abandon Jackson who faints. 

Jungkook is panting and you’re just shocked about what just happened. Everything was so fast and you’ve never seen your husband like that. He is sweet and he doesn’t even want to kill a spider! And now he is punching strangers?! What the hell is going on?! 

You’re pressed against a corner and your husband immediately walks to you, his eyes already softer when they land on you. 

“Are you hurt, baby?” He asks, quite panicked 

“Is-is he dead?” Your voice, just like your whole body, is shaky 

"No, just unconscious” Jungkook says nonchalantly, he doesn’t give a shit about Jackson, he only cares about you “Did he hurt you? Tell me, I swear I’ll kill him”

When you shake your head, unable to make any sound, your husband hugs you. Fuck, he was so afraid to hurt you during the fight. He acted by instinct but his mind was worried sick about you. He actually hates that you have witnessed this side of him. Jungkook’s dark part is, in fact, really dark and violent but it’s not the real him. The real him is the one he is with you: a loving husband. 

When he is sure you’re okay, physically at least, he knees down to rummage in Jackson’s pockets. He almost shouts of joy when he finds his key room. At that exact moment, the elevator doors opens and he grabs your hand to guide you towards the room. He presses the magnetic card on the knob and carefully enters. He makes sure it’s empty before pulling you in. 

“Can you explain what’s going on?”

“Not right now, but I promise” Jungkook kisses your forehead and starts searching the room. He checks the desk, the wardrobe, the bed, the bathroom but, as he expected, no clue. He sighs and runs his bruised inked hand in his raven hair. 

“What are you looking for?” You ask

“A phone. Or computer, something electronic” He answers as he turns around to think about where it could be

“Did you check the headboard?” 

Your husband looks at you with awe eyes and he swears he loves you even more. He listens to you and, as always, you were right. A phone was indeed hidden behind the headboard. He makes sure to turn it off and you leave the room. 

—————

"Can you explain now?" You grow frustrated in Jungkook’s car 

Your husband sighs and makes his raven hair messier with his hand. You know it means he is deeply in thoughts. Several reasons explain why Jungkook has secrets: first, it’s the normal protocol. Second, he loves you and he is afraid you’ll see him differently. He is afraid you’ll run away. However, since you found out his phone and believed he was cheating on you, he has already begun to loose you. The night you spent at your friend’s almost killed him. 

"I can’t tell you much" He finally says

"Why did you punch Jackson? And where did you learn to fight like that? Did you take boxing classes?" Your questions are as confused as you are

Your husband was a completely different person in this elevator and you’re not sure you liked who he was. You fell in love with an ever so sweet man who told you that he didn’t like conflict and who always stops people from fighting when they’re angry. And now he is throwing punches at strangers?

"Didn’t you see he was trying to kill me? What was I supposed to do?"

"But why would he do that?! It doesn’t make any sense, you’re a good husband, a good neighbor and a good architect"

You watch Jungkook’s fists tighten on the wheel, the knuckles turning white despite their bruises. His gaze is desperately on the road and you know he is avoiding your eyes. Something’s off…

"You’re… an architect, right?" Your voice is low and unsure, almost a whisper 

Jungkook’s silence is a confession. 

"Oh my god! You lied to me"

"I’m sorry, I couldn’t tell you the truth" He tries to take your hand but you resist

"Stop the car"

"No, listen to me—"

"Stop the freaking car!" You yell 

"We’re on the fucking freeway, I can’t stop the car!" 

You can’t believe that Jungkook lied to you about his job! For four years you’ve known him! How could he do that? He goes to work every morning and you ask about his day and he tells you lies every single day! 

"So, what’s your job?" You question, arms crossed on your chest which makes your husband’s heart squeeze because you only do that when you’re deeply disappointed 

"I can’t tell you" He looks at you but you don’t so he continues with his usual soft voice that you would like to hate right now "I’m not an architect, my job is… a little more physical"

"Do you have other lies? Please tell me because I’m not sure I can handle other secrets later"

Your eyes are full of tears now. Your life is a whole mess and it only took 24 hours to become one. You’re tired, you’re sad, you’re scared and the adrenaline rush has disappeared, leaving you in a very fragile mindset. Honestly, you’re close to a mental breakdown. 

Jungkook winces, he has a lot of secrets. But he knows that you need to know, maybe not all of them but some parts. 

"I lost my parents when I was 10" He drops the bomb

"But, they were at our wedding…" You respond, completely shocked 

"I hired actors" He confesses, leaving your mouth open in astonishment

Well, it was suspicious that you got so well with your mother-in-law and that she didn’t insist to spend Christmas with you… 

"What else?" You ask after a few silent seconds but you’re not sure you can take it, it’s like your whole life is lie or more exactly your husband’s life is a lie 

"I have guns"

"What?!’ You look at him, baffled ‘In our house?"

Jungkook nods. What the hell? You don’t even know what you say anymore. This is insane. It must be some kind of joke or prank or something. 

"Are we married? Like legally married or this is just another big lie?"

"What? Of course we’re married! I didn’t lie when I asked you to marry me and I don’t lie when I say I love you, baby" You hate that you love how his voice gets more gentle when he says that

In this hurricane, your husband’s words soothe everything. It’s like if he loves you, then nothing else matters. He grabs your hand and this time, you don’t take it away. Jungkook leads your left hand to his face and kisses your wedding ring, maybe the only true thing in his life. Two days ago, you were dead certain you knew everything about your husband but right now, he looks like a complete stranger. 

Jungkook parks the car in your house’s alley. You don’t leave the car just yet and look at your home. It’s the perfect one: three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a huge kitchen, an office for your husband — but you don’t know why now — and a cute garden with a lot of flowers. Everything is perfect, your life with your husband in it is perfect. But it’s a big lie. There are freaking guns hidden in your own home and you didn’t even know! Oh my god, what if you had children and they found them and get hurt? 

"I have to do some stuff in my office but I promise that you can ask all of the questions you want after that, okay baby?" Jungkook says in your entryway that usually make your friends jealous

Jungkook is looking straight into your eyes and you can’t help loving his doe eyes, even though they’re a little more worried than normally. You nod and your husband kisses your forehead. It’s not like usual, it’s longer and deeper, like he was afraid it was the last time. To be true, Jungkook is terrified that he’ll loose you. You’re the only good thing in his life and he loves you more than anything. It was love at first sight, and the way your stress made you do and say embarrassing things — as much as you thought he’ll just run away in the middle of your first date — made him in fall in love with you. Ever since then, he has been down on his knees for you and he won’t ever be able to stand up. 

He heads to his office and grabs the phone that started all this mess. He dials a number he knows well before an electronic voice asks him to identify himself. 

"Osmium 1-3-0-6" 

Some ring tone echoes his Jungkook’s ear as he is waiting for someone to take the call. A familiar female voice starts speaking. 

"Osmium 1-3-0-6, your mission has just begun, I doubt it’s already over"

"I had a problem" Jungkook winces when he remembers Jackson holding your hand, anger boiling in his veins 

"What kind of problem?" The operator asks quite unfazed, it’s not like she didn’t know Jungkook and he has the tendency to have, or create himself, problems 

"An agent, not ours. I took his phone, I send you his electronic chip, possibly encrypted and dangerous" Jungkook pursues as he grabs his computer and inserts the chip in his devise 

"I took control over your computer to check"

After a few minutes, the operator speaks again. 

"Well, looks like someone wanted to end you"

If the female takes it as a joke because Jackson was obviously a rookie agent, Jungkook is not laughing at all. He doesn’t really care about being a target, it’s not the first time and definitely not the last either, but you… it’s different. And there are photos of you in the field. You’re his wife but he has made sure to erase all the informations regarding you so only people he knows personally would know he’s married. So why are you in the fucking field? The field that makes him a target and puts you in danger! 

His fists are clenching so much that his knuckles crack again and bleed. Wrath makes him shake and he is afraid he’d crushed the phone in his hand. 

"Why are there photos of my wife?" He asks with gritted teeth 

"It doesn’t look like she was the target. Maybe the other agency wanted to have as many as informations they could get"

"Find them" He orders before hanging up

He needs to calm down because he could kill someone. You were with a fucking agent who knew you, who could have hurt you just to get to him. Jungkook promised you to protect you and he wasn’t lying because God knows he has the abilities for that but now… Things are different. He is the one who makes you in danger. He is angry toward life, toward his job and toward himself. When he told his agency he was getting married, they did ask him to think about it, that it was not very smart, that someday you could be a target. But he was cautious and made sure that no one would ever know you exist. 

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was too selfish because he knew that he was putting you in danger and he still married you because he loved you. You should have married another man, a boring yet normal man who would never had your photo in a fucking agent’s target field. 

When Jungkook is about to break down, he walks to your ensuite bathroom. He storms in, takes off his clothes so fast and abruptly that he almost rips off the fabric and enters the shower. He lets the cold water running off down his tensed body. He feels so much anger that the blood in his veins is boiling despite the coldness of the water. He closes his eyes and pushes his head under the water stream. His palms are laying flat against the shower wall. 

You, on the other hand, have witnessed your husband’s actions. You have never seen him like that, like he is about to break. Honestly, it’s painful to watch and you’re not sure what to do. Yes, he lied to you but you love him. And one thing is sure: he loves you too. You feel it every time he kisses you, hugs you, makes love to you. You feel it every single time he is looking at you. He can’t be an as good actor. 

"Jungkook?" You call him as you enter the bathroom too 

You see your beautiful husband in the shower. His body is so perfect: strong thighs, defined abs, brawny chest, large shoulders and muscular arms. His tattoo sleeve only makes him more attractive. However, he looks defeated and he doesn’t even seem to notice you. Your heart squeezes in your chest but not for the same reason as before: it hurts because he is hurting. Jungkook seems so down, you don’t even know what to do. 

So you take off your own clothes and join him in the shower. You gasp a little when you feel the chilly water. Your whole body shivers and goosebump grows on your skin. You step closer until you hug your husband from behind. You press your cheek against his large back and your arms are wrapped around his torso. You gently caress him with your fingertips and only then, Jungkook snaps back to reality and notices you. 

"You’re gonna be cold, leave" He seems to order but his voice is just broken 

"I’m staying" You simply respond as you peck his back

Jungkook grabs your left hand, the diamond ring is shining with the light and the water drops. Fuck, he loves you so much. He turns the thermostatic mixer to have some hot water. Then, he turns around and grabs your cheeks. The way he is looking at you is so overwhelming that a tear rolls down your cheek. 

"Kiss me" You whisper, feeling that if he doesn’t, you might die

So he does. He kisses you like it’s your first and last kiss. It’s the most romantic, sensual, soft and deep kiss ever. It’s a kiss that has a hundred of meanings, the main one is how much Jungkook loves you. 

His tongue finds its way into your mouth and your hands run through his soaked hair. Your husband’s arms secure you against his body by wrapping around your waist. His warm and large palms are rolling up and down your back and you feel his member getting harder against your lower belly. A sweet moan escapes your lips when Jungkook’s mouth dives into your neck. His kisses are as wet as the water stream and your pussy. Your own hands press him closer. 

When his inked hand squeezes you ass, you gasp. Your cunt clenches around nothing and you need him. Maybe Jungkook can read your mind, or maybe he just knows you so well because his other hand makes its way to your crotch. He growls when he feels your arousal dripping from your pussy. His expert fingers slide upon your folds, collecting your wetness to rub your clit. 

Your head rolls back and you moan loudly. You don’t really know what’s going on but it feels like the very first time you are being touched. Maybe all the emotions you’ve felt lately make your body more sensitive. 

Jungkook enters you with two fingers but still takes care of your swollen bud with his thumb. He is way too good with his hands. He knows how to touch you, he knows how to make you feel good. His cock is now completely hard and you take it in your hand. It feels thick and heavy as you gently jerk him off. The precum dripping from its tip and the water of the shower smooth your movements. You apply the right pressure on his dick and work a little more on his sensitive tip like you know he loves. And if you didn’t know it yet, the way your husband gently bites on your shoulder to suppress a moan proves it to you. 

Your husband’s digits are moving faster and deeper into your cunt, curling to hit your sweet spot. You are close and Jungkook knows it too thanks to your tightening walls. He captures your mouth with his own. Your moans are mixing with your tongues as you work on his dick and he enters you with his long, thick yet delicate fingers. Your body starts to shake and your orgasm washes over you. Your scream is directly swallowed by your husband and his arm is wrapped tighter around your waist to support you. 

He slides his digits off your cunt, and you wince. You need more, you need him, even after the beautiful orgasm he gave you. Right now, you feel like everything won’t ever be enough because your love for him is taking everything around you. 

Jungkook frees your lips, now red and swollen, to look into your eyes. A mix of lust and love adores your beautiful eyes and he knows he’ll keep this image in his head for the rest of his life. The way he is feeling for you right now will last forever. 

He gives you a last kiss before turning you around so your chest is pressed against the tile. The cold material against your burning skin makes you shiver and wetter. Jungkook takes the time to appreciate the sight: you’re so beautiful. The most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Your back is arched, giving him a great view on your ass and glistening pussy. His dick throbs when he notices your cunt clenching around nothing, just like it was begging him to stuff it. 

He caresses your asscheeks with his tattooed hand, teasing you while you’re already on the edge of loosing your mind. 

"Please, honey, fuck me" You beg him

He gulps like a teenager before his first time and guides his fat cock towards your entrance. Your wetness feels divine on his tip and he has no difficulty to just slide deep into your cunt. The pornographic moan you offer him is music to his ears. He can feel your velvet walls clenching around him like a warm blanket. You were made for him and he was made for you. He pushes even deeper into you, until his pelvis is hardly pressed against your ass. You gasp as you feel him so deep. He is touching your limits and it feels so good. 

When your husband starts moving, he is soft first, building up the tension. Your groans are like pleas to fuck you harder. 

"You’re are so beautiful, so perfect, you don’t even know it" He tells you as he kisses your shoulder 

The way your walls clench makes him know that the compliments touch you, but he said it because it’s true. You can’t imagine how beautiful you are for him. So he wants to make you feel it. His pace enhances and soon, skin flapping sounds fill the air. His hands are deep into the flesh of your hips to keep you still while he is fucking you hard and fast. Your own fists clench on the shower wall and you’re loosing your mind. Your tits are bouncing fast due to his harsh humping. 

"Oh my god!" You scream at a specially rough dick stroke that makes your eyes roll

Jungkook’s strong inked arm snakes around your frame to press you against his chest, squeezing your jolting boobs at the same time. His cock is now directly hitting your g-spot and it feels so good you’re not sure you’re still alive. His other forearm secures your lower belly and his digits find your already sensitive clit. Your delicate body, completely hugged by him, while he is deep inside you is the most beautiful moment of his life. 

"I love you so much, Y/N" He groans in your ear

One of your hand holds onto his right tattooed arm — the contrast between your two skins is striking because you look so pure compared to him — while the other is still supporting you on the tile. Your husband is providing you so much pleasure that you might be in heaven. Messy moans that look like his name escape your open mouth. You feel him everywhere on and in you. His big dick is stretching you perfectly and his fingers rubbing your clit are delightful. Your legs start shaking and you know you’ll cum soon.

"I love you too, more than anything" You moan

Jungkook fucks you even harder as he feels your pussy tighten around him. He won’t last long either but he just wants to make you cum. He fucks you like it was the last time. He kisses your throat, marking you to leave a memory for later. His hand grabs your left tit, pinching your sensitive nipple before taking it entirely in his large palm. He can feel your erratic heartbeat and his own chest is filled with pride that it’s beating for him. He is so damn lucky to be loved by you. 

"Cum for me baby" His voice is weak, almost begging you

Your husband’s name leaves your mouth in a broken scream as you cream his dick. Jungkook’s arms tighten around you to support your shaking body. The wave of pleasure is so high that white dots paints your vision. Your head rolls back to rest on his strong shoulder. His thick cock is still pounding into your throbbing cunt and the overstimulation almost kills you with pleasure. 

"Please, fill me up" You ask Jungkook

It’s what he needed to release himself deep inside you. You feel his dick palpitating and his hot cum in your pussy. The way he growls you name as he reaches his high looks like a love confession. 

You are both panting but you don’t want to move. You want to stay like that forever. This moment is perfect because the air is full of love, protecting you from whatever is happening outside your bubble. 

But the bubble busts when your husband pulls off of you, leaving you empty in more than one way. You panic when you turn around and don’t witness his usual soft features. His face is tensed and his jaws clenched. You grow worried when you can’t read his dark eyes. 

He steps out of the shower without warning and the air immediately freezes around you. What is going on? You basically run after him, not caring about being naked or dripping wet. Your throat turns dry when you see him throwing some clothes into a travel bag. 

"What are you doing?" You manage to ask 

Jungkook doesn’t answer and pursues his mission. Your body refuses to move when all you want to do is to throw away his stupid bag through the window. 

"Are-are you leaving me?" Your voice sounds so hurt and broken that Jungkook has to fight everything in him not to hug you and promise you that he will always love you

He still doesn’t say anything but the travel bag is now full and your husband has put some clothes on. The worst thing is that he is not looking at you. Why is he not looking at you? Why is he not saying that you’re insane to ever think he would leave you? Your heart is pounding in your chest so loud that it mutters all the other sounds around you. 

It’s when Jungkook takes his first step towards your bedroom door that you force your body to move. You grab on his forearm like a lifeline. Well, it pretty is: your life without him doesn’t make any sense. 

"Please, don’t" You’re sobbing even louder than when you found his secret phone "Please, Jungkook"

The way you beg him is killing him. He doesn’t trust his mouth — sometimes it’s way too connected to his heart. So he just frees his arm from your holding and he can see your heart breaking. 

"We can talk, or not" You say between your crying

It’s not a pretty cry. Your tears are so big that they deform your beautiful face. And your throat is so tight that it hurts, even more with your hiccups. 

"I promise I won’t ask any question, I won’t say anything" You speak so fast that you don’t have time to think but you just don’t want him to leave "We can start again, we can move out. I love you, I love you so much. My whole heart is for you, I already gave it to you so I need you close to live! Please, I’m begging you, don’t leave me"

Jungkook’s jaws clench and his holding tightens on his bag. He doesn’t want to see you broken, your voice is enough, but he knows he needs to. He holds on the thought that it’s the right thing to do, that it’s the only solution because with him, you’re in danger. He won’t survive if something happens to you. 

"Then, I give your heart back so you won’t need me. Take care, Y/N" His tone is so cold yet broken and it leaves you breathless 

Jungkook leaves the room at the same time he is leaving you. You fall on the floor, the sound almost makes him look back to check on you but he doesn’t. He knows that if he does, he won’t be able to leave you to protect you. Your cryings are like agonizing screams and it’s the last thing Jungkook hears when he closes the front door. 

—————

It’s been three days and Jungkook hasn’t slept yet. He can’t. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees your face twisted by incommensurable pain. The bags under his eyes are almost as dark as his irises. He keeps telling himself that it was the right thing to do but he misses you like crazy. 

He takes a sip on his fourth or fifth cup of coffee — he didn’t count. The waitress of the coffee shop steps closer once again to ask if he wants anything to eat but Jungkook declines. The poor girl gives up on her flirting. Jungkook doesn’t even notice that she is attracted by him — to be true, he never notices other women than you — and he doesn’t understand why the waitress would try to flirt with him when he looks like a mess. He hasn’t washed his messy hair, he hasn’t shaved and the hood of his black oversized hoodie covers pretty much all of his face. 

When his phone finally rings, he picks up immediately. 

“Hello?”

“Okay, I’ve got some infos” The operator speaks up “It looks like the agency has contacted a man named Kim Seokjin. Do you know him?”

Jungkook’s blood seems to freeze in his veins. He almost jumps on his feet and runs to his car. He doesn’t really understand what’s going on but if the woman on the phone speaks the truth, then you’re in danger. He can’t believe that he left you to protect you but put you in a greater danger instead. He has never driven this fast before but he doesn’t give a shit about the ticket. The pace of his heartbeats is insane and all he has in his mind is you. 

Your bed looks like an ocean of tissues. You have spent the last three days crying and crying and crying. Honestly, you don’t know how you still have some water left in your body. Your bed is too big and too cold without Jungkook but you couldn’t leave it because it still smells like him. You miss him so much that you could die. You’ve tried to repeat the last scene over and over again but you still don’t understand how you could have switched from such an intimate moment with your husband to the worst breakup in history in two minutes. 

Jungkook loves you, you know it. You don’t understand why he would leave you. Did you do something wrong? You shouldn’t have questioned him about his job or whatever. You should have kept your mouth shut. And you shouldn’t have looked for those stupid assurance documents in the first place. You’re so broken that you had almost called them to withdraw your contract. 

However, today, you have decided that something would change. You would wake up, shower, put some clothes on and act like nothing happened. You have to least pretend because you only have denial left to keep breathing. 

You’re in your kitchen — has it ever been so huge? —, cooking some random recipe. You picked the most time consuming one in the cooking book not to think about anything and you have to say that it is working pretty well. Until someone knocks on your door. You swipe your dirty hands on your apron before taking it off and open the door. As an automatism, you draw a welcoming smile on your face for your neighbor. 

“Hi, Seokjin! How can I help you?”

“I wanted to talk about the fence. You know, it’s getting out of control and my wife can’t stop talking about how your hedge is stepping on our garden” Your neighbor explains, visibly embarrassed 

“I’m sorry but you should discuss that with Jungkook, I don’t know anything about that”

“Oh, is he here?”

You wince at the pain in your chest but it’s now time to put out your best acting skills. A little lie for your neighbor can’t hurt, especially if you don’t want to be completely humiliated in your neighborhood. 

“No, he is on a work trip, I’m sorry” You lie “But, please, come in. I’ve made some fresh blueberries cupcakes. I’ll give you some for Aecha”

You step aside to welcome Seokjin in your home with your pretty smile. 

Jungkook arrives just in time to witness it. He jumps out of his car and runs to the backyard. He jumps upon your favorite flowers to join the backdoor. He needs to enter the house as quickly as possible. Just as he is stepping inside the kitchen, he hears your voices getting closer. He sneaks upstairs without making any noise. His heart is beating hard in his chest while he takes off five books of his bookshelf and reveals a vault. He wishes he had time to laugh at the irony of the code being your wedding date. He quickly grabs a gun and ammunitions. 

Your husband tries to get eyes on you but he only hears your voices. Seokjin is a damn good actor when Jungkook thinks you two have known him for two years now. Your husband can’t deny how stressed he is feeling at the idea of someone hurting you. 

“So, you’re all alone?” Seokjin asks you while you’re putting cupcakes in a big Tupperware box

You’re quite surprised by his question that is a little too personal. You don’t know him very well but maybe he is just trying to do the talking. 

“Yes but Jungkook will be back soon” 

You and Seokjin are at each side of your kitchen island, you facing the entrance hall and staircase that Seokjin has in his back. As you’re looking up to smile at him, your eyes are attracted by your husband making signs at you. He is pointing upstairs and his finger is against his mouth to tell  you to keep the secret. You don’t try to understand him, you don’t even seem to know him at all lately. He left you and now he is back and acts crazy…

“Uhm… Aecha lent me one of her books, let me grab it” You lie once again but you’re not sure to be such a good actress 

You leave your neighbor and head to the staircase. Your husband immediately grabs your waist when you’re out of Seokjin’s sight and makes you go on the second floor. 

“What are you doing here?" You whisper-yell 

You hate to be happy to see him while he left you heartbroken. He doesn’t look good with his tired face and it makes you want to kiss him. 

“Listen, I think Seokjin is not who we think he is” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Is your husband going crazy? Seokjin and Aecha are a very cute couple. They’ve invited you at all their parties. 

But it’s at this moment that you notice what Jungkook has in his hand: a freaking gun! It’s huge, way more impressive than in movies. Why does he have a gun? Is he going to kill someone?

“What the hell is that?!” You yell and your husband immediately puts his hand on your mouth 

“Baby, listen to me. Go to your car, don’t make any noise and drive to the hotel where we got married. I’ll join you there when I’m done. Can you do that for me?” Jungkook speaks low but clearly

You nod but you’re still completely lost. Your husband frees your mouth and leads you to one of your bedroom windows. He opens it and tells you:

“Grab the gutter”

“Are you insane?”

“Please, listen to me, I know you can do it”

“I’m not going down by holding the freaking gutter! I’m not a freaking ninja or something!”

“Y/N, we don’t have time, please” Jungkook is growing frustrated and he is doing this thing with his mouth he knows you hate 

“Oh, don’t smack your lips on me” You scold him with a pointing finger 

“I’m not smacking my lips” He almost cries out of frustration, you’re so stubborn sometimes and now is definitely not the right time

“Yes, you—“

You’re cut off by a deafening sound that makes you scream and crash your hands onto your ears. Jungkook pushes you on the side so you’re hidden by the bed. His eyes are fixed on Seokjin who has just tried to shoot you for fuck’s sake! His anger is boiling and he aims his neighbor too. The numerous years of training gave him precision and he manages to hit Seokjin’s arm. The man growls in pain but he won’t give up. He changes his spot to have a visual on you. 

Your husband’s heart stops when he understands what’s going on. He jumps on the side, grabs your hand and protects you with his own body while he is running away. The bullet lands just a few inches away from your leg. He shoots at Seokjin, not really targeting him but preventing him from shooting you. Are you the target now? 

“Jungkook! What is going on?!” You shout 

“Later, babe” He replies with gritted teeth as he leads you down the stairs

The bullets are damaging the beautiful cream color you’ve put on your walls just one mouth ago but you don’t really care when you’re running for you life. Seokjin is still behind you and he is not bad of a shooter, even with one wounded arm. 

You and your husband manage to head to the backdoor and are running like crazy. You feel more than you hear the bottom hem of your dress getting ripped by a branch of your once beautiful flowerbed. Jungkook keeps shooting behind you until the magazine of his gun needs to be loaded. He always makes sure his body is protecting you. He pushes you into his car and another scream leaves your mouth when a bullet burst Jungkook’s car windshield. It doesn’t take long for Jungkook to get behind the wheel. But when you think he is going to drive down the alley, he goes straight at an insane speed. 

“The hydrangeas!” You yell like he was going to stop “Jungkook!” You shout as the car hits Seokjin and completely destroys your flowers

“Sorry, babe”

The man disappears underneath the vehicle and only then, your husband reverses, making the car bounce when the wheels roll over what you think is your neighbor. You’re in complete shock and Jungkook is driving way too fast for your sanity. You grab the seatbelt in a ridiculous attempt to feel safe. Oh my god, you can’t believe what just happened! Someone shot you, your freaking neighbor! And then, your husband shot back to finally freaking hit him with his car! Okay, maybe this is just a nightmare. Maybe you’re delusional and you have imagined everything. 

Your body is shaking so much that your teeth chatter. Jungkook glances at you with worried eyes. 

“Baby, are you okay?” He asks gently 

“No, I’m not okay, Jungkook! Explain now! Our neighbor almost killed me so start talking!” You yell at him 

—————

Your husband insisted to wait until you reach the hotel where you got married in Geoje.  The view of the ocean and the delicate rocks shaped into lace by the water and the wind is stunning. The contrast between the turquoise color of the sea and the oranges palette of the sunset sky is breathtaking. The scene is completed by the soft iodized smell of the air. The place is magical and romantic, the very reason why you chose to get married here. Maybe he hopes it’ll help you to relax or to remember that he loves you. The sound of the ocean waves is nice but you can’t appreciate it when your life is so messed up. You sit on the bed of your luxurious room and you can’t stare at your husband who looks like a complete stranger. 

"Please, explain" 

"I can’t tell you much, Y/N, the more you know, the more you’re in danger" He sighs

"It’s true that I’ve been real safe so far" You snap 

"This only thing I can tell you is that my job is secret" 

"Are you working for the CIA?"

"Baby, I’m Korean, I can’t work for the CIA"

"Are you working for the Korean CIA then?"

"No I’m not" Jungkook gets closer to you and caresses the back of your hand with his thumb "I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know what’s going on. Someone made some research about me and found out of about you. I swear I’ve been very careful to protect you, I don’t even know how they’ve got those informations"

The way your husband’s voice choke makes you anxious. You trust him, you would put your life in his hand without any doubt but you’re scared. This whole situation is crazy. You’re a normal woman with a boring life. And now, your husband is like James Bond or something and people are trying to kill you. You won’t ever regret married Jungkook but maybe you regret his secrets. But if he had told you, would you have married him? You’re not sure… 

"Am I going to die?" You ask low and your question makes Jungkook’s heart squeeze painfully at the simple thought of it

"No, baby, look at me" He grabs your cheeks and your watery eyes meet his beautiful dark ones, dead serious "I’ll protect you. I promise. I won’t let anyone hurt you"

You nod and a tear escapes your eyelids. Jungkook gently kisses you and your arms wrap around his torso. The contact immediately makes him hiss. Your eyes widen in panic. You scan his body and spot a dark red stain. 

"Oh my god! You’re hurt!"

"I’m fine, the bullet only grazed"

"Lift up your hoodie" You order

Jungkook knows that fighting is useless and he takes off his hoodie. You gasp at the sight: his left  flank is bleeding but he was right, the bullet didn’t pierced him. Your heart is squeezing so much in your chest because Jungkook got hurt to protect you. Your fingers gently brush his bruise and you see his abs flexing by pain but he doesn’t say anything. 

"We should ask a first-aid kit to the reception" You tell him, your throat chocked 

Your husband only nods and grabs the phone next to the bed. He knows you so well, he knows you feel guilty while you shouldn’t. He is the one who’s guilty. He put you in danger. But you’re so caring that you won’t ever believe it. And right now, you need to do something for him, in this case, lick his wounds. 

Quickly enough, some staff knocks on your door and brings you what you’ve asked for. You tell Jungkook to seat on the bed and start to disinfect. The fact that he doesn’t even hiss is a pound in your heart because it means he is used to it. How many times did he get hurt without you even knowing? Did he have to heal his wounds alone? That’s the saddest thing ever, to know your husband was hurt and alone. 

Your shaky fingers apply some ointment as delicately as possible. You even blow on the bruise to soothe the pain away. The final step is the bandage. You grab a huge amount of compresses and secure them with a medical strip. When you’re done, your hands rest on Jungkook’s chest. You can feel his heartbeats underneath your fingertips and it’s comforting. You feel connected to him and maybe your heart settles to the same pace. 

"I love you" He says, in the simplest yet most sincere way 

"I love you" You reply 

"Come here"

Your husband pulls you next to him on the bed to cuddle you. He whispers in your ears that everything is going to be alright and oddly enough, you believe him. You close your eyes and for the first time in three days, you get to sleep without your chest aching. 

Jungkook contemplates you sleeping. You’re so beautiful. He caresses your hair and his brain is working hard to think about a plan. He has to go back to your house where he keeps passports and money. It won’t be easy, police or other agents watching the place but he doesn’t have any choice. You’ll stay here and he’ll come back as soon as he can. He won’t leave you ever again, he almost died doing it once. You’re his wife, the love of his life. Maybe he is selfish but he can’t let you go. 

He delicately escapes your arms and heads to the balcony with his phone. He dials the number and the same electronic voice asks him to identify himself and he does. The night is silent despite the waves, but maybe he feels like that because of the mammoth starry sky above him. 

"Osmium 1-3-0-6, where the hell have you been? Do you know that everyone is looking for you? You have a mission" The female operator scolds him 

"Listen, plans’ve changed. Someone tried to kill my wife. I need to make sure she’s safe"

"You can’t, the mission comes first and you know it"

Jungkook’s fist clenches, it’s so fucking unfair. He won’t ever choose his job over your life. You’re the most important thing in his life. 

"Listen, I need your help" He almost begs "Can you delay the mission? Just for one day. I’ll go to my house tomorrow and grab some stuff. When I’m sure my wife is safe, I swear I’ll get the mission done. You know me, I never fail"

He can hear the operator sighing, fighting against what’s is fair and what’s right. 

"Okay…" She concedes "But you only have one day"

"Thank you. Really, you don’t know what it means to me. Good night, operator" Jungkook’s smile is clearly noticeable in his voice 

"Good night, Osmium 1-3-0-6"

Jungkook steps inside the room but stops when he sees you looking at him. 

"Are you going back?" You ask but your voice implores him to stay 

"I need to. I have some passports and money. So you will take the first flight for Bali and I’ll join you as soon as I can"

"Please, don’t go" Your eyes are filled with tears and your husband’s heart breaks because he feels like it’s the only thing he’s seeing in them lately 

"Baby, everything’s gonna be fine" He reassures you before kissing you "All I care about is you. If you’re safe, I’m safe"

"How can I be safe without you?" You ask, grabbing his hands

"I’ll show you how much I love you and then, you’ll understand why I need to go back" He whispers and kisses you again

This time, it’s deeper and more sensual. His palms cage your jaws and his tongue sneaks inside your mouth. You hands caress your husband’s naked back and he pulls you closer. He captures your lips deliciously and his fingers quickly find the hem of your dress to pull it off. Your perfect body, only covers by your undergarment, is lightened by the pale light of the moon. You look like a goddess. Are you even real? Maybe Jungkook is dreaming, he can’t believe he is this lucky. 

"So gorgeous" He whispers, his hands fondling your thighs, your stomach, your arms and your breasts make you shiver in pleasure

His mouth can’t stay too long without touching yours, almost like you were his oxygen. His expert fingers undo your bra and free your boobs. Your mouth-watering mounds are calling him and he can’t resist. His tongue licks your right erected nipple before sucking on it so hard that your head rolls back with a raspy moan. Your panties get soaked in a second. Your hands are in your husband’s raven hair and the sparkle of your diamond ring in his black locks is ethereal. 

Jungkook kisses your skin until he reaches your other nipple. The first one feels cold because the light breeze laps the wet spot. Jungkook loves your tits. Actually, he loves everything of you.  You can feel his tongue rolling around your nipple and sweet moans form in your mouth. You tug on your husband’s hair, making him growl against your thin skin. He kisses every single inch of your breasts, manifesting how much he worships you. So much that your tits get swollen by his ministrations. 

Then, he gently guides you towards the bed, his mouth glued to yours once again. He makes you lay down upon the soft and delicately-scented bedding. A wave of panic grows in your body when Jungkook’s kisses head South, placing his large body between your open legs.

"Kook, don’t, you’re hurt"

"I’m okay, baby" He reassures you while he is leaving sweet pecks in your inner thighs "Let me take care of you"

His fingers brush upon your clothed clit and you can’t think straight enough to argue. Your back arches and your fists clench on the sheets. When Jungkook is satisfied with the way your panties stick to your soaked pussy, he grabs the hem of them and slides them down purposely slow. Your skin gets so sensitive by his intense yet slow movements that you’re going insane. Your cunt clenches and is dripping by the expectation of his touch. 

You can feel Jungkook’s breath on your wet pussy and it makes you shiver. Your husband is mesmerized by the beauty of your glistening sex and the way it appeals him. His mouth dives into it. Delicately at first, kissing your clit and lapping your wetness, and then, rougher. His tongue applies a delightful pressure on your clit while it’s rolling around. Your sweet whimpers paint a smirk on Jungkook’s face, he loves the sounds you make so much. 

Your legs want to close because of the pleasure almost unbearable to take but Jungkook keeps them firmly open with his large and warm palms. When his tongue takes a fat strap from your entrance to your clit, you almost loose it. Your eyes shut and your hand finds his hair to press his pretty face deeper against your pussy. Your husband is literally making out with your sex and it’s really hot. He really knows how to provide you pleasure, and even more when two of his digits enter you. You gasp his name and your walls immediately tighten around his fingers. 

He sets a nice rhythm and doesn’t leave your clit with his mouth. You feel overwhelmed by his touch, especially when his free hand grabs your boob. You glance at it and you feel a particularly intense emotion at the sight of the silver band around his finger. Instinctively, your other hand settles upon his, intertwining your fingers in a weird way against your flesh but you don’t really care. 

When Jungkook harshly sucks on your sensitive bud and curls his fingers to caress your g-spot, your head rolls back. 

"I’m gonna come" You whisper with a voice broken by the pleasure 

"Please do. Come for me, baby" Your husband spurs you, pumping his digits faster into your cunt 

Your walls get impossibility tight and your whole body shakes when you cum. Your mouth is wide open but it’s impossible for you to make any sound as your sexual high brings you beyond clouds. 

Jungkook keeps his fingers inside you but stops moving and his mouth leaves your clit to gently kiss your inner thighs. 

"You’re so pretty when you cum" He praises you and your cheeks get brightly red 

His plump lips are red, swollen and juicy by a thin layer of your arousal. If sex was a person, it would be Jungkook right now. The hand that was in his hair travels down to his face to delicately caress his cheek. You can feel that his skin is rougher than usual because he hasn’t shaved but he is still the most handsome man that has ever walked on Earth. Jungkook kisses your palm while looking into your eyes. Lust and affection is clearly visible on your both faces and you can’t help bitting your lower and still swollen by your kisses lip. 

The action drives Jungkook crazy and his teeth replace your own within a second. He doesn’t bite harshly because he doesn’t want to hurt you but the slight pressure he applies arouses you. Your pussy clenches around his steady fingers. 

"I want you" You whisper against his soft lips

"I’m all yours" He replies like it was the most evident thing in the world 

He steps back just the time to get rid off his pants and underwear and your cheeks blush a little bit more at the sight of his perfect cock. It’s big and thick but the skin is velvety. The drop of pre cum escaping his tip is glistening under the moon light and your mouth waters. Your eyes slowly go up to admire his also perfect body. You love his abs and pecs, he is so hot. Especially when his tattooed hand grabs his dick to give him a few pumps, even though he is hard as hell — he means, how could he not when his gorgeous spouse is naked in front of him? 

But your heart gets punched when you see his bandage on his left side. Jungkook must notice your face getting tensed because he reaches out to grab your hand. 

"I’m okay"

You simply nod because you’re afraid that your voice might be weak by your dry throat. 

Jungkook places himself between your open legs and his dark eyes caress your whole body, from your swollen pussy to your so pretty face, passing by your tits. He is so damn lucky. He knows that if he had twenty other lives, he’d love you each single time. 

He guides his cock to your entrance and slowly enters you. You feel your walls getting stretched and the feeling is so good that you almost cum again. When he is deep inside you and you are literally full, your husband leans down to kiss you. Your legs wrap around his tiny waist and your fingers intertwine on both sides of your head. 

He presses his forehead against yours and your breaths mix when he slides his cock almost out before stuffing in deep into you again. 

"More" You moan 

Jungkook smiles and starts pounding you. He absolutely loves making love to you. He loves your face torn by pleasure. He loves how your back arches to feel him better. He loves how your rounded boobs bounce in rhythm. And he loves feeling your tight pussy around his fat cock. 

"You’re taking me so good, baby" He praises you and he knows you love it because your cunt tightens 

His hands hold yours harder when he enhances the pace. His strong thighs allows him to give you powerful and deep dick strokes. Your moans fill the room and levitate in the air through the open window. You don’t care at all if someone hears you while you’re making love with your husband. 

Your legs pull Jungkook closer to you, making your chests crash into each other. It’s almost like your hearts are connected. Your husband’s face disappears in the crook of your neck to kiss your thin and sensitive skin. 

"Oh my god!" You scream when he pounds roughly into you 

Your eyes roll back and you’re going insane. This is so much pleasure to take. 

"You’re fucking me so good" Your voice is shaky because of the way your body jolt 

Jungkook smirks against your skin at your compliment and he frees one of his hands to press it against your lower belly. 

"Do you feel that?" He asks and you gasp at his dick popping under your skin 

Your orphan hand desperately needs to grab into something not to loose your mind and settles on the back of Jungkook’s neck. His black hair is tickling your fingers and you roll them into the end of his locks. 

"I’m so close, honey" You inform him but Jungkook already knows by your clenching walls

"Fuck, you’re tight" He growls, his own head rolling back but only a second because he can’t take his eyes off of you "You’re so beautiful, Y/N. I’m so fucking lucky to have you" He says between two breaths 

Your eyes water at the pleasure provided by his big cock and at his touching words. Your hand slides toward his cheek that you caress with your thumb like you can with the way your whole body rattles by his deep humping. 

Your lips form the words ‘I love you’ in silence and your husband captures your lips once again. His hand on your stomach travels down and reaches your clit to draw magic circles. Your hand squeezes your husband’s next to your head. You know he is driving you towards the edge. He is fucking you so deep that you’re sure you’ll have bruises on your inner thighs. 

His fingertips press harder on your sensitive bud while his dick is pounding into your dripping pussy. Your head rolls back on the soft pillow and your toes curl. You scream your husband’s name when you cum, body shaking with delightful waves of pleasure. The beauty of your face when you’re experiencing an orgasm is so perfect that that, combined to your throbbing cunt around his cock, sends Jungkook right into space. He growls your name and he frowns when he paints your walls with his white and thick cum. 

He collapses on your body, heavily panting, and you caress his sweaty hair. Jungkook wraps you into his strong arms and hugs you tight while his cock is softening but still buried into you.

"My precious wife" He whispers into your ear

He gathers his last strengths and rolls on the side of the bed. His arm sneaks around your frame to pull you close. You listen to his heartbeats, echoing the soothing sounds of the waves outside. Suddenly, Jungkook’s chest wiggles as he is laughing lowly. You lift up your face to look at him with a questioning eye. Jeez, he is so handsome with his lazy fucked out smile. 

"We got married here" He explains with a sweet voice that is like a melody "I was remembering how happy I was when we spent our first night as wife and husband"

"I can’t believe you hired actors to play your parents at our wedding" You say but your voice is nothing like a reproach even though Jungkook tenses

"I’m sorry"

"Don’t be. I understand that you just wanted to protect me. Honestly, I think that, if I knew the truth, I would have been so stressed and scared for you that I would already have had a heart attack"

Jungkook gives you a tender smile and caresses your cheek with his fingertips. 

"I want you to promise me something" You speak up 

"Sure, babe" He encourages you to pursue 

"Promise me that you won’t leave me ever again" Your voice breaks a little and your eyes water to the point your vision gets blurry "You don’t know how hard it was to be in our home without you. You don’t know how empty and sad and broken I felt. I won’t survive if you leave me, Jungkook, so please, don’t do it ever again"

Jungkook’s chest tightens and he gulps with difficulty. Fuck, he didn’t know he’s hurt you this much. He was so fucking stupid to leave you, even though he thought he was protecting you. 

"I promise"

He promises to you but also to himself. Whatever how fucked up the situation is, he won’t leave you. He will protect you and you’ll have the happy ending you deserve. He knows he doesn’t deserve you so he has to do everything he can to make you happy. If you ask him to die for you, he’ll do it without even hesitating. But he will stay with you as long as you are willing him to. 

"I love you more than anything, Y/N. More than my own life. Remember that"

You nod and kiss your husband. Your head regains its place on Jungkook’s chest like it just simply belongs there and you both fall asleep and in love again, just like your wedding day at the very same place. 

—————

The first thought that comes to Jungkook’s mind when he wakes up with your naked body still pressed against his is ‘God, my girl is hot’. Then, ‘I love her so fucking much’. His phone informs him that’s only six am but he needs to go. He kisses your forehead and covers your beautiful frame with the sheet. He dresses up with the same black hoodie and sweatpants from yesterday and leaves the room, not without glancing at you one last time. 

He makes a stop at the reception. 

"Hi, could you get some clothes for my wife, please?" He asks and the receptionist nods

He notes on a paper your size and the clothes you need. Maybe it’s the last domestic gesture he’ll do today. 

When he reaches his car, or more like the truck he has stolen yesterday because his busted windshield was not really discrete, he makes a call to pretty much the only person he can trust. 

"I need your help" He speaks with a low-pitched and serious tone

He then explains the situation and the two men agree to meet in a few hours. Driving helps him concentrate. It might be the most dangerous mission he has ever had so far and God knows how dangerous his job is. He makes a clear plan in his head: his colleague will join him and the both of them will discreetly enter your house. They’ll be quick and Jungkook will only grab the things he needs and disappears. Then, he’ll drive back to you and makes sure you leave South Korea safely. He’ll finish his job and join you to start a new life far away from all this mess. This way, you will live happy together without having to look behind you. Jungkook will settle to a new job, maybe be a mechanic since he likes cars. Maybe you could even start a family. 

Yes, the plan is perfect. 

He stops in front of a coffee shop to pick up his colleague. He is dressed up in all black, just like Jungkook, except that his clothes fit tighter on his tall body. He is the one who sent him the secret texts you found out. Jungkook doesn’t know his real name, neither than the man. They’re colleagues but they trust each other with their lives, job requires… Jungkook is a man of action while his colleague is kind of the brain. He gives Jungkook all the information he needs and provides him all the fake documents he needs for his cover. It’s also true that the man has to jump into action sometimes when Jungkook is into real shit so your husband knows that his colleague knows how to fight and hold a gun. And even though they don’t know much about each other except from work, Jungkook knows that the guy is just one year older than him and is a real flirt. After five years of working together, they’ve got to know each other by chatting after missions all around the world. A weird professional friendship has developed between the two. 

"Hi, Osmium" The man says 

"Hi, Gallium. Thank you for helping me" Jungkook replies 

"Don’t worry. I’m happy to" Gallium — code name — reassures him with a genuine smile 

The two men drive to your suburban neighborhood. Obviously, the whole mess Jungkook made yesterday didn’t go unnoticed. You live in the typical middle-class area where only normal families own a house. It might be boring sometimes for Jungkook — but his secret life provides him enough adrenaline to make it though it — but he’s thankful that you’re, normally, safe there. Until yesterday and a fucking hitman tried to kill you. The thought makes Jungkook tighten his grip on his wheel. 

Jungkook has stopped the car a few meters away from your address. Gallium has brung some guns and ammunitions for the two of them and they prep their weapons. As usual, Jungkook feels his heart beating slow and loud in his chest. He is fully concentrate, maybe even more than normal because he knows your life is at stake. 

Jungkook and Gallium sneak into Seokjin and Aecha’s garden and your husband looks through the stupid hence they were always complaining about. The rough branches are poking at his face in a unpleasant way but he doesn’t care. He winces a little when he sees that the garden is even more messed up than yesterday, which means you won’t be happy about it. Like at all. Jungkook uses his hand language to inform his colleague that two policemen are watching the backdoor.

The two men jump over the hence in a smooth and silent move. The policemen don’t even have time to react that Jungkook and Gallium get behind them and lock their arms around the policemen’s throat. The two men in uniform try to fight back but in vain: the oxygen doesn’t irrigate their brain or their muscles and they faint. Jungkook and Gallium let them fall on the ground slowly and head to the door. They have their guns in their hands now and are as discreet as cats. They are moving slowly but surely, always checking all round them to detect any enemies. 

Jungkook points his hand toward the stairs and Gallium nods, taking the lead for checking the place. Your husband’s heart is loud in the absolutely silent house. He doesn’t even recognize it. Further than the bullet holes and broken glasses everywhere, it’s the atmosphere that has changed. It used to be a welcoming home, full of love. Now it looks cold and uneasy, like everything is tinted in a cold tone. That’s why Jungkook thinks that maybe his house used to be charming because of you and only you. 

He goes up and takes care to avoid the sixth step because it squeaks. Someway, his heart squeezes a little in chest at the sight of your completely destroyed bedroom. The windows are busted and there are feathers pretty much everywhere on the ground. 

Jungkook steps closer to your nightstand where a picture of your wedding has miraculously survived. His eyes immediately soften. He clearly remembers that his breath was cut out when you appeared in your beautiful white dress. And when you said ‘I do’, he thought that he was the luckiest man on Earth because you could have had any man you wanted and you still chose him. Your husband is in love with you like the first day, maybe even more. He feels like he loves a little more every single day you spend together and honestly, he doesn’t understand how all his love for you can fit in his body. 

"Hey" Gallium whisper-yells 

Jungkook jolts and regains his concentration. He walks to your spacious dressing room and uses the shelves to climb up until he reaches the bag he has hidden upon the double-door. He reaches down and opens the bag to make sure he has everything: money, passports and all the fake documents you’ll need to make a new life. 

"Okay" Jungkook informs his colleagues while he is closing the bag "I have—"

His sentence fades when a harsh stroke hits the back of his head. The impact is precise, at the right place to make him pass out instantly. The darkness floods his vision and the last thought he has is you. 

Something’s wrong. You can feel it by the itching filling up every inch of your body. It’s sunset and your husband hasn’t returned yet. When you woke up in an empty bed, you felt a wave of panic until your eyes landed on the sweet note Jungkook had written for you. He told you he loved you and would be back in the afternoon. So you kept yourself occupied all day, trying to think about other things to evacuate your stress. The hotel staff knocking at your door around lunch time with a full bag of new clothes kind of helped you with that. As you were putting your new underwear, jeans, long sleeve black t-shirt and Converses on, your chest went warmed up by Jungkook’s caring. Gosh, your husband is so perfect. 

Except he is not here while he should be. Something is wrong. You’re walking back and forth in the hotel room, checking your phone every thirty seconds. Should you call him? What if you do and his phone rings and someone notices him? You’re afraid to make things worse. But for God’s sake, where is your husband? Your breath is shaky, just as your hands. You’re so worried about him. Your heart must have broke the record for the fastest pace now. 

When you’re about to truly lose your mind, your phone rings. The sudden sound in your too quiet room makes you jump. At first, you thought it was your husband but the number is unknown. 

"Hello?" You answer, unsure 

"Jeon Y/N?" A female speaks 

"This is she" Your voice is chocked because of your dry throat 

"I work with your husband. He needs you"

What? What’s going on? The woman said she works with Jungkook, does she mean his secret job that you still don’t understand? And what does she mean by he needs you? Is he hurt? Is he in danger? If yes, what can you do? You don’t know anything about guns and secret missions and what so ever! You start to panic. Like a real big wave of anxiety that makes you breathe heavy and quick. You’re not made for that, for all that stress. You’re a normal person, just a wife leaving her life in a quiet neighborhood  and who only has to care about the flowers in her garden. 

"Is he okay? Is he hurt? Please, tell me he’s alright" You speak fast, your panic clearly noticeable in your voice

"He’s fine, don’t worry" The second the unknown woman tells you that, your body immediately relaxes: if Jungkook is okay, then everything else is fine "But he won’t be able to meet you at the hotel. He asked me to give you the meeting address"

"Why he didn’t call me?" You ask, both curious and quite suspicious 

Jungkook didn’t tell you much about his job but he had made one thing real clear: he’s hidden you to protect you. So why would he ask someone of his job to call you while he would have done it himself? The itching in your body tenses you up. Something is not right but you don’t know what. 

"He couldn’t" She replies but doesn’t give any more explanation "So, there is a disused warehouse not so far away from Geoje. Your husband is waiting for you there so you can leave the South Korean territory after that. But you need to be discreet. Don’t inform anyone where you’re going. If you can, rent a car and drive by yourself. Otherwise, someone could find your husband and hurt him. Please be quick"

The woman on the phone is telling you so much informations in such a short time period that you’re not sure to understand everything. Every time a word is leaving her mouth, you wonder ‘what the hell is going on?’. The only thing you care about is Jungkook. You just want him to be safe and you’ll do anything for that. So you don’t question her — what could you ask anyway, you’re so lost right now — and head to the reception. You ask where you can rent a car and don’t waste a second. 

Your hands are shaking on the wheel and you can’t make the itching feeling disappear. You can feel it in your guts. Should you call the police? You’re not sure, the woman said that it can put Jungkook in danger… You try to call your husband but you have no response. Maybe it’s a trap but you can’t care because you can feel that Jungkook needs you. 

You arrive at the address the mysterious woman gave you and you’re not relieved when you discover a creepy and far from any civilization abandoned building. It looks so much like a horror movie. What the hell are you doing here? Did you forget that this was not a movie and that you could be killed? Of course not. But you also didn’t forget that Jungkook may be in danger… You’re facing a dilemma here. Should you enter? You’re so freaking scared and the adrenaline rushing through your veins doesn’t help to think. You try to breathe deeply and slowly but it only brings some tears to your eyes because you’re terrified. How could your life have become such a mess? You want to back in time, when you didn’t know anything about the guns in your house and Jungkook’s lies about his job. Life was way easier then. 

You grab your wheel, close your eyes and say out loud: ‘You can do it. You’re doing this for Jungkook. So pull yourself together and go to the freaking warehouse’. You nod to give you confidence when you clearly lack it. You don’t even have the courage to close the car door by fear to make some noise. 

The place is huge and empty and cold and you’re freaking terrified. You don’t like it. Your heart is beating so fast that you’re afraid it might stop. You’re looking everywhere but you don’t see anyone. Where is Jungkook? Is he okay? Why would he ask you to meet in such a creepy place? He’d know that it would scare you. 

When you’re about to run away you spot a big form on the ground. You’re not sure that it is because it’s pretty dark but your body moves by itself and steps closer. Your heartbeat echoes each of your steps. You almost faint when you recognize your husband. 

"Jungkook!" You yell and run to him

He is unconscious and a big stain of dry blood is spoiling his handsome face. His hands and feet are tied. Your hands grab his face and you try to wake him up. Is he dead? The thought is too painful for you to accept it. You start crying and Jungkook is still not waking up! 

"Please, wake up! Honey, wake up! Tell me what to do. I’m so scared" You sob and hug his heavy and flaccid body

You wipe your tears and try to loosen the ropes around his wrists but they’re too tight. What the hell is going on? What happened to him? 

You gasp when you hear some steps behind you. You turn around and press Jungkook deeper into your embrace. You frown at the familiar frame. A frame you haven’t seen in years. But you might be wrong because that’s just crazy if he were there. 

"Taehyung?" You ask in a whisper 

"Y/N?" 

"Oh my god!" You sigh quite relieved that it’s someone you know "Please, help me. I don’t know what’s going on! My husband is unconscious and I need to get him out of here"

Taehyung walks to you and you think he is going to help with the ties but he grabs you wrist instead. So roughly that it hurts. He pulls you hard to force you to stand up. 

"What are you doing?!"

"You have to get out of here" He tells you with a deep voice that makes you shiver 

"I know! But I have to help my husband"

You free your hand and go back to Jungkook, still unconscious. You don’t really know why you do what you do but you discreetly slide the photo of your husband and you that you keep in your phone case in his hoodie pocket. Call it instinct, call it adrenaline or call it craziness, you can’t explain it either. 

"You don’t even know him!" Taehyung shouts, so loud that you jolt 

You look at him with a mix of disbelief and scare. What is he talking about?

"You don’t know anything about him, Y/N. Do you know his job? Do you know how many people he has hurt? He has murdered? Do you think he is a good man?" He says like a snake, tongue hissing and eyes narrowing

"He is…" You can only whisper, completely taken aback 

"He has lied to you. He has lied about everything! Do you think he loves you? Y/N, don’t be stupid. He is just using you not to catch attention! No one would suspect a husband living in the suburb with his perfect wife. You’re nothing but a cover"

"Stop! Jungkook is not like that!" You shout while closing your eyes but your words lack conviction 

You did question yourself when you found out about his job. You did ask yourself if Jungkook was sincere and if he truly loves you. But when you look into Jungkook’s eyes, you can see that he does. Yes, he has a lot of secrets but he wouldn’t use you… Would he? 

Taehyung is messing with your brain and it’s an easy thing to do when you feel so lost and terrified. You put your hands on your ears: you need silence! You need to think! It could be so much easier if Jungkook could wake up now. 

"We don’t have time" Taehyung argues, grabbing your hand once again to pull you away from Jungkook "We have to go"

He wraps his arms around your frame and lift you up so your feet can’t touch the ground. You panic when he starts walking away. You wrestle but your strength is not enough to stop him. 

"Get off of me!" You yell "Jungkook!" You scream louder than ever when the unconscious body of your husband disappears from your line of sight

Taehyung manages to put you in his car despite your struggle and shut the door. He gets behind the wheel and starts driving. Your heart is squeezed at every feet growing between your husband and you. Leaving him alone and hurt in this scary place breaks your heart so much. You’re worried about him and you just pray for someone to save him. 

"Why are you doing this?" You ask, breaking the heavy silence 

"For you" Taehyung answers, his voice way softer than before 

"Please, I’m begging you, I need to go back. Jungkook needs me"

"He doesn’t, Y/N" He sighs, his hand running through his brown hair in frustration and anger "I already told you, he doesn’t care about you. Did you know that the agency told him to not get married because you could be in danger? And he still did it, because he doesn’t care about you!"

"Stop talking!" You shout 

You know Taehyung is lying. You know it. But your heart hurts anyway because there is a tiny teeny chance that he might be right… The fact is that Taehyung has never lied to you while your husband did. And Taehyung has no reason to lie. But you just can’t believe that Jungkook is a complete liar! You feel so lost right now because nothing makes sense! 

"I’m sorry for everything" Taehyung sighs and drives into the night

After you were gone, another car approached the warehouse. A woman jumped out of the vehicle and ran, completely panicked, inside. She did the same thing you’ve done a few minutes before: checking everywhere until she found Jungkook. Just like you, she ran to him and called out his name to wake him up. Only this time, he did. 

The pain in his head is atrocious. His memories are blurry and the darkness around him doesn’t help him to dissipate his confusion. He can vaguely see and feel a woman next to him, basically hugging him in relief. 

"Baby?" He asks with a raspy voice, confused 

"It’s me" She answers with a voice that sounds very familiar to him while she pulls out a little knife from her pocket to cut the ropes "Are you okay?"

"Operator?" Jungkook questions again, even more lost now 

"Yes"

It’s the first time Jungkook is seeing the woman behind the phone. It’s a strange feeling because she is just the voice in his ear, guiding him through the buildings he has to sneak in, or telling him what to say to the person he has to get information from. Usually, agents don’t meet their operator. It’s too dangerous, they know too much about each other. 

"What happened? What are you doing here?"

"When you told me that you wanted to go back to your house, I knew you would need someone. When I checked Gallium profile, I saw he wasn’t on a mission so I knew you would ask him. But then, I found something weird: he has resigned. All of the sudden. And I had a bad feeling so I traced your phone and I found you. God, I’m so glad I did"

Jungkook tries to take a better look at his savior while trying to understand this whole messed up situation. Did Gallium betray him? Why? Was he the one asking information about you and him? Fuck, it’s insane… Jungkook winces at the pain thinking provokes to his injured head. 

"Thanks" He tells the woman who only nods and helps him to stand up

She is small and fragile. Jungkook didn’t know what to expect from his operator because he hasn’t really tried to imagine her before but she is younger than he thought. Maybe his age or slightly older. Her hair is short, barely touching her shoulders, in a light brown color. Her features, that are surely cute normally, are tensed by worry. 

"I have to go to the hotel, my wife is waiting for me" Jungkook informs her when they seat in the car

Your husband notices the grimace on the woman’s face and her deep sad eye. 

"What? What’s going on? Is she okay?" Jungkook asks, panicked 

"She’s okay but… Jungkook, I’m sorry" She says, resting her small hand on Jungkook’s big one to comfort him 

"What?"

"She left. With another man" She drops the bomb

The whole world has stopped. Jungkook’s heart has stopped too. No, that’s just impossible. You love him and he loves you. We made love yesterday and you even asked him to never leave you… That doesn’t make any sense. What the fuck is going on?! The pound in Jungkook’s chest is so heavy that he can’t even breathe properly. 

"Who?" He manages to ask despite the horrible lump in his throat 

"I don’t know, I just saw them leaving the hotel before I came here. I wanted to check on her but she was with this man"

"Then, Y/N is in danger. We have to find her and save her. We could—"

Jungkook’s is cut off by the operator while he is already trying to make a plan in his head. 

"They were holding hands and she called him by his name. They knew each other. I’m sorry" She explains, sad to witness Jungkook being so devastated 

"I need to go to the hotel"

The woman nods and starts driving. 

The car barely has stopped that Jungkook steps out and runs to your room. But it’s empty. You’re not here, and your few items you had with you either. Jungkook is going to die. He can feel it in his bones. He has already faced death, he knows that it looks like and he has never felt so close. The pain in his chest… There is no word to describe it. 

You left him. 

To be continued...

I'm so so so sorry for taking this long. As you can see, the story is very long and it's just the half of it. I still hope that you liked it (if you did, pls let me know in the comments 🩷)

Taglist @llallaaa @jjk174 @tatamicc @chimmisbae @chl0buggy @ggukieskookie @11thenightwemet11 @ttanniett @lallataegi

[connecting-those-constellations]

Jailbird

Hi there! I've never done this before, first time posting in the tag, so idk if there's etiquette or whatever but I've written the start to a steddie fic inspired by Sabrina Carpenter's "Please Please Please" music video. Just wondering if it's worth continuing with or if ppl have any ideas. Anyway, here's Jailbird:

______________________________________________________________

Steve had entertained the thought before. What if he just didn’t show up?

Didn’t drive the Beemer through those metal gates, didn’t lean against the hood with his arms crossed. Didn’t wait with a mix of elation and dread for the buzzer to sound and for his husband to swagger to the car, duffel over his shoulder and a shit-eating grin on his face. 

Maybe if Eddie had no one to grin at when he was released from jail, again, he wouldn’t get himself locked up next time. 

But those questions remained unanswered, and Steve waited. 

The buzzer sounded, the chainlink door opened, and the love of Steve’s life and the bane of his existence strolled out like he’d just stopped at the store. 

“Hey, sugar.” 

The words were whispered in Steve’s ear as tattoo-covered hands came up to circle his waist. When Steve’s head, tilted to stare up at the sky before their eyes could lock across the parking lot, didn’t come back down, Eddie’s lips landed on his neck. 

“You’re not still mad at me, are you?” 

Steve huffed and lowered his head, and Eddie’s lips relocated to his cheek, pressing kiss after slow kiss. He gave Eddie a soft shove back, finally making eye contact.

“Ask me again when we’re home.” 

[minteagalaxea]

steep (woo) | r. reigns

roman and quynh

genre: angst . fluff . smut (minors dni) content warnings: thigh riding . praise kink . mild sir kink . nb character (afab) . multiple orgasms . implied age gap (quynh is in their mid-twenties) . protected sex (quynh is stated to have the arm implant) word count: 4.45k inspiration: roman reigns' many barbs about missionary position against john cena . tea and boba obsessions songs: woo by rihanna (slowed and reverb) (x) . claws by kim petras (slowed and reverb) (x) read also: "steep (xxviii reasons)" (x) . "steep (sand)" (x) note: thank you to @lov3rla03 and everyone who enjoyed the first one, so i hope you guys get to enjoy the journey quynh gets to experience and lets you guys get to know them!! they're one of my favorite ocs i've made (and i've made a lot lol)

at twenty-five, quynh learned the weight of building a life around a ghost—rightfully so for someone who was twenty-five, it wasn’t something they particularly enjoyed.

they loved john. of course they did. but it was tiring to know that when they had crafted a life, a career, and identity of their own outside of his shadow, was equally liberating and suffocating to know that they weren’t just connected to him in career, they weren’t connected to him in the slightest.

they corrected themselves as they sipped their tea as they read through the card for the night, noting which questions they were asking and to whom backstage as they did their round of pacing. it was somewhat liberating that they weren’t tethered to a clean-cut image that was so saccharine quynh’s stomach roiled violently just at the mere thought of it. but, he liked it, so they tried. they really fucking tried.

as they paced in the room, quynh realized that they should be angry with john. it was well within their rights to be. they did their part, calling and texting and sending photos to include him in their life, the moments they crafted. fuck, they even texted him and called him about their tattoo appointment, wanting him to share it with them and be there.

that text barely went acknowledged—quynh went alone, and that was when they really knew that they were living with a ghost for a boyfriend.

when they heard the door open, they looked at their lover and realized the title felt hollow, like an empty platitude to justify that they both used to be in love. and, with a hug, a kiss to his cheek, they said they couldn’t do it anymore. and he understood, kissing their forehead and wishing them well on the show; they did the same.

the shit thing was how their farewells were so easy: given how he relocated, it made it harder for them to miss him. how could they miss something that never really existed?

“you could mourn, you know?” quynh heard someone say as they started to prepare, slipping in a pair of colored contacts. silver, to separate from his blue and orange.

they peered up once they were on, affixing their gaze upon the other man through the mirror. “what do i have to mourn if there isn’t anything to mourn, roman?”

roman reigns—if quynh had to consider who they really built their career around, no matter how unintentional it was, it was him. they knew, as everyone did, and they knew that wwe was pushing him hard. so hard that they weren’t sure how he managed to get in the ring every fucking night and have the self-possession to not let it hurt his soul. except everyone figured out that there was a surefire way to get roman over without absolute question.

all it took was quynh interviewing him.

quynh knew that it wasn’t inherently as simple, but they always shared that same sense of intensity. and the way they looked at one another, body harmonizing and eyes smoldering as they let him bury his own grave with each question they asked and each silence prolonged. there was something about the tension, the unspoken dance, their natural dynamic, that seemed to have the wwe universe cheering and actually getting him over. not that the audience ever realized that they weren’t together. both had a healthy appreciation of one another, but knew what it meant if either were to ever entertain the fantasy when they were still with john up until less than thirty minutes ago.

except now they weren’t. and quynh thought that perhaps was scarier.

the two stared at one another through the mirror for a moment, silent as they pondered one another’s words in the mirror. quynh tried not to fantasize about the way his arm piece would look against the ones on their sides as their top rose while they started to work on their makeup.

roman offered a smile, one of those genuine ones beneath the smoldering intensity of his gaze, and wished them good luck, and they did the same. quynh tried to not consider how much more invested they felt with a man they were never with.

at (almost) twenty-six, quynh learned what it meant to miss someone that wasn’t a ghost, despite being far away.

roman looked…healthier. and that was good, given what he just fought. and yet, here he was, staring at them with a pallor that suggested he actually did see a ghost, except perhaps the ghost was them.

out of respect, quynh didn’t excessively contact him, preferring their meetups for boba when they were in town or a rare video call. casual and easy, they tried to be close to him, offering him patience where they could over the past four months. and they enjoyed learning about roman, the soul that was strong and gentle, sweet and bitter in equal measure.

it took them a moment to realize that roman hadn’t seen them quite as glamorous in a long while, sensual as they were deadly in their long legs and heels that put them just at his height. maybe it was a good thing they were attempting to kill a man who just came back from beating cancer, because it gave him one of the greatest reactions ever.

except nobody had to know how he took their hand when the camera didn’t notice, trying to ground himself in quynh’s iciness, their stoicism. the pallor might have remained as he stared, but both knew what their job was, and it was to give their audience the greatest damn show in the world with his return. quynh missed seeing him grind his eyes into theirs, onyx meeting whatever artificial color suited their whims. tonight was their normal color for once.

nobody noticed how they settled in the hotel bar together with drinks as they celebrated, both casual and intimate at once as they scrolled through their phone, responding to their artist about their appointment. “first one?” roman asked, voice warm and low and genuinely piqued.

quynh shook their head, swirling their grasshopper before they took a sip. “i got one a year back.”

“he come with you?” he didn’t need to name him—both of them knew.

“left me on ‘read’.” they weren’t sure why they didn’t sound as bitter; perhaps it was due to john’s own lack of them. their eyes lingered on roman’s own arm, a beautiful tapestry of his culture and took another sip of their drink, trying to not think too hard about how it contrasted and complemented their minimalist lines.

“i could come with you, if you’d like,” he offered, snapping them out of their introspection. quynh’s hand stilled, eyes heavy with scrutiny as they questioned his intentions. “i know you probably didn’t cry or anything, but i’d want to be there if you wanted mortal support.”

they blinked at him carefully, not wanting to set themselves up for disappointment, “day after tomorrow if you wanna come.”

quynh hadn’t expected for him to show up then, sitting sentinel throughout their session and providing copious amounts of attention to them as he watched the art take shape on their physique. they hadn’t felt quite seen like this before, and it made them feel acknowledged as he saw the art continue onto their thighs—heard the story behind the genesis of the piece from their artist. when the piece was finished, the heat returned to roman’s eyes as their artist applied the second skin bandage, admiring the masterpiece to their body with ferality. he looked at them through the mirror as their artist took more photos of their physique. the heat was unmistakable as they tilted their head in confusion.

“what was he like?” he asked them.

quynh considered the question thoroughly, attempting to find the words for a man they didn’t want to entirely badmouth.

yet, they couldn’t deny the heat in their eyes as they responded, “regular white meat babyface, i guess.”

“and i’m not, baby?” roman challenged with a smirk, one that brought heat to quynh’s eyes as they let themselves indulge in the timber of his touch, the velvet of his voice.

“you’re back now…i guess we’ll see if you can follow through on your ambition, big dog.”

at twenty-seven, quynh learned exactly how ambition turned a ghost into something physical, ferocious, and fantastic.

they had always liked roman just fine—they had no reason to deny the unfathomable amounts of chemistry and connection they had. yet, they had no reason to broach the territory beyond tenuous friendship and burgeoning want. not because of john, though the beginning certainly contained that, but they were both…complacent, they supposed. it wasn’t unwarranted, and the constancy of their dynamic was one they definitely valued and appreciated as the pandemic hit.

and then, roman returned at summerslam and destroyed braun strowman and the fiend with absolute vengeance that quynh hadn’t seen from him before. and he took a chair to braun strowman. and quynh, who had observed the entire match, commentated on the entire match?

well, they had never felt more heat stream through their veins when he met their artificially gold ones.

in quynh’s opinion, roman had never been more attractive to them, now that he was tapping into the ambition, the darkness, the power they always thought he tried to temper to make himself successful. and now that the brakes were off, and he was asserting what was his, taking without mercy, quynh felt their heart rate spike.

when roman took back his universal championship, they smiled with a feral want they hadn’t expected in themselves. they were starting to truly understand why roman looked at them so, and perhaps why things seemed to naturally work between the two of them, with each appearance to support them through their tattoo appointments (not that they ever needed it) and each interview and comment they gave him now that he was the head of the table, the tribal chief.

quynh quickly learned where the irony really lied—he took from others, but gave to them beyond measure. and it really started one night in his hotel as they fell back into their easy ways until he leaned up into them, forehead against theirs as he offered the smile of a jackal poised to pounce. “what was it like…being with him?” roman asked, and quynh wasn’t sure how to respond, or the context he even asked. the only additional hint it required for them to really decipher the context was his hands splayed on their waist.

“he preferred missionary,” they murmured dryly, ambivalent about it all, but not wanting to badmouth a man who they loved once a long time ago, dissonant as they pondered the reasoning. it was easier, given his exhaustion, and he wanted the intimacy they could provide in that way.

certainly, though, routine was the mother of complacency, and it did explain quynh’s revolving door of boba drinks they picked depending on their temperament.

“every time?” he asked, subsequent to a moment of silence. they nodded, and shrugged haplessly as they thought about it.

“it was easier.”

roman’s voice growled as he cinched their waist closer to him, “easy doesn’t mean good, baby.”

quynh nodded, a hand resting against his arm as their legs straddled over his hips, while his own roamed up to their halter-neck bralette, the crisscross cutout revealing the moment of ink on their sternum. “baby, why did it take so long?” he asked, “you know this ain’t something you can hide. you know we keep coming back to each other.” they knew, and they whispered exactly why.

“the beginning…we knew…with john, and we knew we were better than being dirty secrets,” they confessed, “but, i was waiting…you seemed like you were going through an evolution, trying to figure who you wanted to be. and the man i see now is the man i adore even more. i’ve always known what we could be, but we weren’t ready. we didn’t know who we were then. we do now.”

when roman bridged the gap, capturing their lips into a kiss that told them everything he didn’t say aloud, quynh knew that this was where they were meant to be as he lifted them to his bed, extricating their bralette and undergarments to have them straddling his thigh. flexing the muscle there, he let them set the pace, allowing them to rediscover human intimacy in a way that died down long after their relationship with john. maybe even because of him. roman, however, seemed hellbent on trying to reignite that spark in them as he murmured things. so many things and fantasies that dated back to the very first interview they conducted with him. things about how he wanted to kiss them, pin them against the wall.

“baby, when i came back in remission and saw your outfit?” he rasped with interest as he helped them bounce on his thigh at the pace they were finding they liked, “that silver hair of yours, that turtleneck? your leather jacket? your heels? fuck, i wanted to get you out of those right then and there, make a big statement on my return with you.”

part of quynh realized that this probably explained a large part of why roman’s gaze always lingered the way it did, like he was trying to respectfully undress them in his mind. not that they were susceptible to that type of energy now, and especially now that he made it so much easier with those fitted t-shirts over that tactical gear.

as their hips flexed on this thigh, they rested their face into the junction of his neck, whimpering in an almost uncharacteristic shyness as one of his hands brushed their pearl, pressing insistent circles to help them along. quynh thought their body was crumbling apart, bursting into seafoam, only for him to mold them back together.

maybe the metaphor is inaccurate—roman might just be more adept at helping them blossom and be devoured at the right time, like a master of fine and rare teas that they had been exploring at tea shops more recently.

yet, somehow, it didn’t matter as he whispered them promises of desire, stories of want, years of yearning that he could finally have them, the version of them unencumbered with ghosts and monsters and tannins that sucked the moisture from their mouth. it was enough for that wave of tension to crash over them and soak the fabric of his pants as he offered them a kiss and swallowed their gentle sounds with greed until their hips stilled. it was a fascinating paradox, then, one that sent their mind reeling and hazy in the most saccharine of ways as he held them close, pressing kisses that made the heat rise to their skin and dilation to their pupils.

“you okay if i fuck you now, baby?” he asked, running his hands along the new pieces along their waist and thighs with a small, playful smirk, “promise it won’t be missionary for the hundredth time.”

quynh leaned into him, a breezy sort of giggle as they assented, their artificial nails digging into his shoulders as he knelt, wrapping their legs around his waist as he rubbed his tip against their soaked folds, before helping them sink down onto his length and feel every stretch.

“better than missionary?” he teased, giving them a moment to adjust before allowing them to set the pace while he caressed every inch of their inked body in between fevered kisses. they didn’t respond, not verbally, punctuating their desire with slow, impactful slams down onto his sizeable girth, the airiest of mewls tumbling past their lips as they kissed, tongues tangling as his hips met theirs halfway and harmonizing with his heavy growls.

as they arched their back towards him and tilted their head back in bliss, roman took over the pace for them, matching their preferred rhythm while lavishing kisses and marks to the column of their throat; quynh held him close, claws sinking into his luscious locks to keep him affixed to their throat as his thrusts swept inside deep into them, imprinting their cunt to fit him perfectly as he dragged them to the precipice of euphoria.

it was with this that they came with a breathy moan of his name, letting him spill into their clenching tightness not long after, sinking his teeth into the junction of their neck just above their tattoo as their groan reached a crescendo, just enough to bathe the room with their desire as roman pistoned himself through both of their climaxes. whispers of his name flowed from their lips as quynh settled, craning their neck forward again to press their forehead against his as their breaths mingled.

as their voice came back to them, quynh’s eyes settled on the man beneath them, cupping his face as they finally decided to answer that question of his from earlier. they hadn’t remembered the last time they felt this powerful, this free, now that their ambition for an equal let them take as much as he was willing to give them.

quynh lilted, “better,” and they felt like they had finally blossomed into the creature they were always meant to be as they peered at roman with a breathless, blissful beam.

at twenty-eight, quynh learned that some ghosts, no matter how much they buried them, didn’t like to stay there.

john was back, of course he was. they weren’t sure how they felt about it personally, but they maintained their professional veneer. they weren’t sure how they could function without it, despite their body simmering into frustration, because of course john had to return now.

roman, as he always did, took it somewhat unpleasantly, though it wasn’t just for his own sake, much to their shock. because he was right: john didn’t change, no matter what hollywood wanted to portray him. however, the other part of it was the intrinsic knowledge of their relationship, and the snippets that quynh offered over the year of their relationship, their proper relationship as partners.

the fact that roman really had to use the missionary reference for john when delivering that promo made them sound like a borderline hyena backstage despite the audience jeering at the statement. though, quynh considered, a fair majority of it had more to do with the fact that they knew roman was trying to protect them in his own way, upset about the situation for them about john in a way they never really processed.

and when john cena hijacked the signing for that summerslam match? all because roman denied him his challenge for the universal championship?

they felt like they were a teapot of steaming water about to fucking explode.

roman told them he was going to deny it—that wasn’t the surprise, because they knew what the whole point was. roman had changed, evolved into someone with so much more than the initial reputation he had. and that had made them even more chilling on the microphone during their interviews with him than he probably expected, because he still knew them. more than they wanted to admit to themselves.

hence, the sense of vindication they felt when roman brought up how twenty years of missionary wasn’t enough for them evidently. quynh could only smirk behind their mug of tea as they blinked at him with a raised brow, safe behind their sage colored contacts and their almond-shaped press-ons, the perfect juxtaposition to the vivacity of john’s attire and roman’s monochrome. and the nebulous definition of their relationship on the screen enabled roman to rattle john so deeply, a lesson john had taught them about letting the appeal of their relationship, the on-screen will they won’t they parts of it, become the major draw of their thing. quynh loathed that they had to learn how to hide the true nature of their relationship with someone they loved so deeply to spare them both given how intertwined their persona was with roman’s.

when summerslam started, they let everyone else talk. there was no point for them to exert that energy towards something that they didn’t feel pertinent to the overall story, though they provided their own analysis of the situation in the way that would make sense to anyone else: john wanted to come back and take opportunities away from younger, more current workers. and they chose not to answer when cole asked them if they thought it had to do with them, providing context for others the potential jealousy john might be experiencing given how roman swayed their affections. everyone else could think what they wanted to about the matter.

yet, as they thought about the nature of their relationships with these things, they scoffed as roman nailed john with another spear after some superman punches after john tried to mimic roman’s signature move. quynh wasn’t sure if they wanted confirmation that he tried that after seeing their disinterested expression. and then roman looked at them as they leaned back in their chair, and he finished the job. corey also had to snark that roman worked devastatingly hard to earn quynh’s praise, praise that felt like an elusive prize for someone as dominant as he was.

so, they gave it to him, commenting that roman laid out an almost artful performance. john nearly glared at them for that, though they paid him little mind as they worked on commentating the loose ends of their feud. and the heat in roman’s eyes when he looked back at them as he walked away made their cheeks imperceptibly warm.

the smirk on their face from brock lesnar’s unexpected appearance and giving john german suplexes and a f-5 in immediate succession was just the icing on the cake to try and keep their ghosts away now that this was all over.

at twenty-eight (several hours later), quynh learned how to properly bury a ghost.

roman, for all his exhaustion, was determined to celebrate in his impatient sort of way as he kissed them, hard and intense but with considerable care as they leapt into his arms, his hands gripping their denim trousers before slipping off their leather jacket and the belt of their pants.

“you make it hard for me to do my job, baby,” he teased, voice raspy in his exhaustion as he managed to slip off their pants and leave them in their black turtleneck bodysuit.

their hair billowed in this face, soft and fluffy against his wet and denser tresses from his conditioner and water as their nails tangled into them. “does it matter since you won?” quynh rebutted, jovial and seductive in equal measure as they buried their nose into his neck, “can’t have a fighting champion that slacks off right, sir?”

he nearly ripped their bodysuit off of them, how they used that title like it was a weapon that made him bleed with pride for them, one used sparingly and with the full force of a freight train as he pressed them on top of his face, sinking them down onto his handsome visage with vigor. they took from him, cognizant of his exhaustion in this position as they rode his face with semi-reckless abandon, blossoming underneath his tongue like a moon-blooming flower as they mewled and whined and preened for roman over and over. his tongue delved in like a man starved in the desert, having finally found his oasis—an oasis willing to give him all the ambrosia to consume.

they weren’t sure how many times they came like that, but quynh knew that at some point, they felt a pair of eyes on them, a familiar pair that could easily discern by the sheer weight of his gaze. yet, they didn’t deign to give him more satisfaction beyond a view that he evidently couldn’t look away from. maybe it was ironic, then, maybe it could be attributed to roman’s youth relative to john, the fact that he never really stopped wrestling, and didn’t just return on a whim.

they also knew their lover well enough to know that he really wanted to spite john just a little more, while also bringing them to new precipices of pleasure as he took them from behind, their body arched deep as he took his time, letting everything about them melt into a perfect harmony and contrast, their complexions, their ink, the bodies telling a story of yin and yang as roman pulled moans from them and had their body writhe in inexorable ways with each apex of pleasure.

but the reality that they were being watched set quynh’s nerves ablaze, and not because it made them aroused. it was the fact that the ghost they wanted to exorcise wouldn’t fucking leave. and they wanted roman to hide them, to shield the type of vulnerability they had just started learning to give again. roman hadn’t broken a promise with them yet, and he understood what they needed as he held them close, helped them slide onto his length, meeting them despite his exhaustion, his stamina relentless as ever.

quynh was starting to forget what it felt like to have just a piece of silicon bring them pleasure on nights like these, nights where they couldn't have the closeness they craved more than anything else. roman always delivered on that aspect, their banter fluid as water and viscous with adoration as he felt the imprint his length made in their abdomen, the deepness he provided, as they begged. and with the impeccable timing of his favorite pet name, he spilled into them, deep inside their walls as he kept them close and worked through their nth climax. yet, their most favorite part was the aftercare, the way he always ensured their comfort as he kissed the shrine of ink along their body, especially their arm with their implant as they shied away from their intruder, wanting to hide the artwork that defined their journey without him, especially their first one on their sides.

roman helped them back up back to their feet, helping them affix their heels and hair before draping his hoodie over them and asking if they wanted hotpot for dinner. quynh also heard the scurry of john’s footsteps to try and recover some semblance of dignity, but they knew when they affixed their gaze onto him, eyes scanning as they always did as they reflect on the amount of barbs roman had left about missionary, him asking them earlier if their coupling position beat it out.

at twenty-eight, quynh learned that they became their old flame’s ghost with just a single word: better.

[judasgot-it]

Political Debates is a Form of Flirting, if You're Tecchou Suehiro (Friends to Lovers Trope)

No one talks about how he is 100% the type to do this? Also this is inspired by a work from @strawbqq (also thank you for the new pfp and this photo I'm using this for as long as I can pretend its Christmas)

"A peaceful solution isn't always the answer. The answer sometimes is just violence-"

"But why is that usually the first solution?"

You and Tecchou were sitting down next to each other, drinking warm drinks to try and gain some warmth from the cold outside. You had a simple sweet coffee, while Tecchou had managed to convince the poor waitress working today to make a white hot chocolate mixed with everything white in their shelves. There were pieces of coconut, sprinkles, and a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top.

It seemed drinkable, given that Tecchou had no problem digging in. But you knew to avoid it, especially as you wanted to actually enjoy your one day off.

"These are violent criminals. They lost the option for peace the moment they committed their actions - I only serve justice where it's deserved."

He sipped his drink while saying this. There was a little white foam sticking to his lip, giving him a mustache to rival Fukuchi's.

"Innocence until proven guilty. Morals are more complicated than that." You leaned over and wiped it off with your thumb, giving in and tasting it. The drink wasn't bad, but the mayonnaise was still there.

"Yes. You're right. But most are dangerous, and if I don't treat them that way," He leaned in closer to you, gifting you a bit of his obscene body warmth. "Then they will only hurt more people. I am not a lawyer. I am a Hunting Dog."

His voice was strong, stating this only as a fact of life and nothing else. This man was an executioner, who would follow his word - it was whoever was in front of his sword and him.

You were normal. There was no hope to be near him at all.

"...what do you see me as?"

You turned around, looking at the people that were in this restaurant. There were families and people who were sitting close to each other like you both were - to the average person walking in, you both must have looked like a couple.

"I'm a civilian. Nothing special, right?"

He was in normal clothing, with no indication that he was a solider. His sword was hidden somewhere in his large coat, which made him just look so normal it hurt. As if he were a man who had just wanted a day off from a normal day of work.

No one in this restaurant would know that he had a body built like a god, or scars that covered his knuckles or that he had tattoos because of the war that everyone chose to forget rather than remember.

This is was something that he had shared with you. A regular person who had a regular desk job. That just happened to be in the Hunting Dogs headquarters.

"I'd like to see you as my friend. But sometimes I'm afraid I think of you as more than that."

"Your paper pusher?" You tried to laugh off the little pit you had dug yourself into with Tecchou, the one that you knew you would never get out of. It was better to just pretend it didn't exist at all.

"Is it wrong to think of you a little more than that?"

His big honey eyes were giving you that sad puppy dog look, as if he wanted to jump on your bed but couldn't. His face was tilted just enough to stare at you, giving you all of his attention.

It made you want to die, just a little bit. He was embarrassing to be around, as you found it impossible to really do anything else but let him eat you up with those eyes.

"...so it's really often, I take it?"

He nodded, avoiding the subject. Taking all the bravery you had, you looked back and noticed how he still stared at you - his eyes were roaming around you, as if you were something he had to remember.

"I think of you a lot too, sometimes,"

The words that came out of your mouth didn't feel right, they felt as if they were the words of someone else. There was a small moment, maybe a second that felt like ten to you, where you had to sit there and really think about what you were going to say.

Tecchou's staring was just too distracting; as if he were trying to steal every word of your mouth before you could even form them.

So before you said anything again, you took a sip of your drink. Hopefully it gave you enough time to get your bearings back into place.

"Sometimes I dream of you. Nothing serious, just us doing boring, regular stuff. But I think it's because I'm thinking of you so much that I have those."

"Enough to dream about me?"

"Yeah, I just said that."

Tecchou's fingers itched closer to yours, his skin so thick that you first only felt the callouses that had been built up over the years. You felt at odds sometimes, seeing how your hands were small enough to be crushed like pencils between his.

Holding his hand would feel amazing though. Tecchou always radiated so much warmth you wished you could carry him around 24/7. He would warm your hands instantly.

"...I've dreamt of you before. Just like this."

You made a dumb sound, letting him continue. There was half of your drink down your throat, and you were too busy trying to avoid eye contact and pretending that you were really invested into anything else to say something in response. Your heart was so loud in your chest, and seeing Tecchou reach so slowly to touch you did nothing to stop that feeling.

"But it was just us. It felt the same, but I only saw just us. We kissed too."

His hand finally covered yours, so slowly, as if he were touching the petals of a flower and trying to mesmerize the feeling of how soft the feeling was.

The man was so warm that you leaned in closer, feeling your chests brush together. At some point, the two of you had leaned in close enough to nearly share the same air.

"What?"

"We kissed in my dream. Sometimes I dream of kissing you in other places too."

"You dream of kissing me?"

"I don't dream of kissing anyone else. Just you."

"I think you think of me as a little more than a friend."

He nodded along. His face was red - if you hadn't been actively having this conversation, you would think it was just from the cold nipping at his skin.

"Why don't you just kiss me then?"

"...I can?"

"Who would say no to you?"

Once again, this is inspired by @strawbqq fic that i requested, go check their account cause thats kinda what this is a sequel too my bad. im just a real sucker for just writing the confession part. also ignore the fact ive been inactive my life has been hell for the last bit but im on winter break rn so im gonna write and upload as best i can for those who requested!

[ranticore]

selected pages from Shapeshifter Problems, a small exploration of old old concept art & thoughts on shapeshifter tropes (specifically the question of the 'true form') i posted to patreon earlier this year. there's a bunch more haha. here's some OLD art and bg process for writing said the black horse. I don't like my old art but looking back at it I'm really happy how I've developed since, I used to make everything too sharp, straight-sided, or skinny. I had to make a conscious effort to change that and now it's so much better.

image transcriptions under the cut (just the text sorry)

Image 1: "These are more of those older designs - the horns were a deliberate play into devil imagery on Puck's part while giving Félix this form (all to cause more torment of course) but again I couldn't vibe with it. Such clear statements of intent didn't work for me.

The scars remain canon but not quite so stark, more a difference in texture (again, moving away from visual details). His forehead scar is ALWAYS there."

Image 2: "Félix. These are really old - from 2019-2020. They're the first attempts at Félix's horse form. At the time I was leaning into some goat-like attributes. I liked the idea of something that looked like an emaciated amalgam of many familiar creatures but if you look closer, it actually doesn't look like any animal at all. The original body shape and proportions were inspired by moose. I didn't know how to draw convincing horse shapes which is why he had these hands and claws for so long. I still draw the little flower wheel pattern on his sides sometimes... a secret just for me. His belly fur, squared off ear shape, and beard are still defining characteristics"

Image 3: "More old art from 2020. Bottom left is my first ever painting on my iPad using Procreate. I still prefer SAI for creature drawings, or at least the original sketches underpinning a lot of my art. Below on the bottom was my attempt at a scarier form for the character but I ultimately decided that it ran contrary to the atmosphere I was trying to create. Top left is my first 'real' horse painting and it includes the tail shape which has not ever changed, and feathers, which I nixed because I wanted to learn how to draw the feet and legs properly and not rely on covering them up with flowing hair (my favourite thing to draw)"

Image 4: "Like the black horse designs, these humanoid designs for Félix (circa 2019 - OLD art!) started very complex and simplified over time. I decided to avoid visual complexity, but made the mistake of solidifying specific 'rules' for how the Púca servants' bodies work, and I deeply regret this. Because I wrote Said the Black Horse in 2021, I was still operating under the old mindset and that caused it to become somewhat established canon.

In his original iteration his tattoos represented magical contracts between him and various faeries, so they were supposed to be always visible as a reminder of that contract.

<- a really early furry version, I was playing with the eye on the neck as a design feature. Ultimately I feel that although it looks cool, the medium he exists in is proser. So I needed to move away from visually complex designs and towards designs which were interesting to different senses instead."

Image 5: "As time went on the design simplified. I enjoyed making fun textures using procreate brushes. These designs lack his forehead scar but do include his impalement scar. If you've seen my Hanged Man card you'll know how he got that one. But when I made the charts like this about how his body 'worked' in 2020, again I ran into the same issue I always do when writing about faeries... the more I explain it, the most 'logic' and 'science' goes into it, the less it feels like a faery story to me. Overexplaining is anathema to the faeries of Inver. so even though I like these design notes they just don't fit in this setting."

[twopoppies]

A few years ago when I was new around here I was reading everything I could find about Larry, even really old blogs that hadn’t been updating for a long time. I remember reading about something that I can’t find again. It was about some kind of art installation. There was a video or maybe just a gif. It was two young men undressing facing each other, like it was in front of a mirror. Mabye it even was some sort of frame between them but no glass. Their looks, height, hair and clothes looked a lot like H and L when they were younger. And there were people walking or standing around watching them. Do you know what this was and when?

LOL! Yeah. It was an art installation in London in 2016 that was inspired by fanfic. That was only part of what was there, but here’s a post with photos.

The bigger concept behind it is actually pretty interesting:

Showing as part of Jerwood Visual Arts’ “Jerwood Encounters: Common Property” exhibition, Parry’s pieces include Larry Underwater Kiss, a digital silk print, Larry!Hiroglyfics, etched drawings of the couple on Perspex alongside the slogan “ship everything”, and Larry!Domestic: masks of Louis and Harry in pink containers, alongside a wearable pregnant belly marked with Harry’s tattoos. The exhibiton event included a live piece of performance art, featuring One Direction lookalikes kissing, hugging and undressing one another.

For Parry, these works are just one extension of an existing artistic sphere, exploring “the figure of the fan as an unassuming model for invention, mobilization and revolt”. He told the Telegraph that Larry shippers are “just presenting the normal ideals of a relationship, but actually it’s really subversive”.

“These fictions are an opportunity to create – for pure expression in their field. Fandom is a space where anything can happen. We might go back to a genuine passion in art.”

It’s an important sentiment: fanfiction writers and fanart creators, especially those working within fandoms like One Direction’s, are often young women who are intellectually and creatively dismissed. But fanfiction often provides a space for young artists who might be marginalised in the mainstream to create artwork that reflects their experiences, whether it be by racebending or reimagining characters in different power structures and dynamics.

Shipping is a key part of that, particularly for LGBTQ fans, something perhaps flattened in Parry’s statement, “Creating relationships: this is a method in fandom called ‘shipping’, which I’ve basically taken on and applied to my art practice […] This whole installation is me ‘shipping’ materials and ideas, theories and passions.”

[yarpharp]

The one thing I have a lot of personal, PERSONAL beef with about the entire Solas/Elvhen vs. City Elves/Dalish thing is simple: a lot of people in this fandom keep ignoring that this is one huge allegory for generational trauma and colonialism. Including Solas.

Maybe it hits home harder with me, especially because the real world inspirations the writers admit to using are Natives. And boy, I see the bones that make up the Dalish are absolutely Native-coded.

Constantly hunted? Constantly looked down upon for trying to keep to their traditions, even if the memories aren't as complete as they once were? Their very positive views on magic and the spiritual that run counter to common belief? Their religion is outlawed by the DA equivalent of the Christian church? The illegal verses of the Chant speaking about Chartan? The facial tattoos, the traveling camps, their attention to raising wild breeds of painted horses (the famed Dalish All-Bred in DA:I), the harts, following the migrations of the halla?

And then factor in the City Elf vs. Dalish experience. It reflects a lot of the same issues we have now. "City Indians" vs. "Rez Indians." The arguments about blood-quantum parallel a lot with the "elf-blooded" shit in DA. They don't have the ears, but they were raised like an elf! It reminds me of a very small dialogue in The Masked Empire between Fiona and Michel de Chevin, where Fiona immediately clocked him as half-elf because he never treated her poorly or called her slurs and subconsciously ducked his head slightly in doorways like he expected to bump his head in an alienage shack. Michel clings to his Chevalier code desperately, because if anyone found out he was half-elf, he'd be tossed back into the Alienages. It's peak "You're mixed but you can pass as white" coding in my eyes.

So then Solas rolls up, shitting on all the existing elves, calling them "children" and decrying them as idiots clinging to barely-remembered bits of history.... Good God, you ass. Like, I get it. I'm sure if one of my ancestors appeared before me and saw what has become of our people, they'd be horrified. But idk, there is also pride to be had in resisting and enduring and outlasting every government's attempt to erase what they see as a subpar culture.

When he asks "Did I judge the Dalish too harshly?" I always wanna just reach through the screen and go "YEAH ACTUALLY"

[14dayswithyou]

So I just played through the game for the first time and was hit with a terrible thought. In my game, I said that teo and I had had a “fling.” I then realized that Ren, like Teo, has tattoos. So that got me thinking.

What if Ren started getting tattoos because he saw what MC was doing with Teo? He was trying so hard to become everything MC wanted, only to find out that MC was just using Teo as “safe dick,” and didn’t actually care about the tattoos at all.

He may have found that he really likes tattoos, and so he designed them his own way. But there’s NO WAY that MC hooking up with a Big Tattoo Guy (multiple times, according to Teo) wouldn’t have effected his aesthetic at that time. So I wanted to ask, did he have those tattoos before MC met Teo? Or were they reactive?

✦゜ANSWERED: Canonically, Ren gave himself tattoos at a young age out of his own accord!! I spoke about it a year ago here, and very recently here.

Non-canonically (but something Ren would definitely do), is that he would take aspects from Teo's appearance if Angel was genuinely interested in him. Ren's entire shtick is mimicking Angel's hyper-fixations and turning himself into their ideal type — and if that happens to be Teo — then so be it. He'll take inspiration from the way he dresses, how he acts, and the tattoos he gets.

From a storyteller standpoint, however; Teo is supposed to be Ren's narrative foil! I spoke about this topic briefly in the Discord server, but they share a lot of similar characteristics (contrasting colour palette, conflicting personalities, two-tone hair, snake vs koi fish tattoos, 2 gold rings vs 2 gold earrings, etc.). So the tattoos were a deliberate choice!! However, they're not meant to signify that they're the same character or anything. It's just a way for me to kinda show (not tell) that despite two characters being "the same", they can be completely different as well.

But from and even more literal standpoint, Teo is also the direct derivative of 2017!Ren! In the very first version of 14DWY, Teo didn't even exist at all. But when remaking the game, I figured people wouldn't like Ren [with Teo's personality], so I changed him completely. I didn't want to completely scrap the "toxic playboy" character though, so I turned him into Teo and never looked back since

(I looked back once and now half the fandom are in love with him T_T /silly)

[sapphosewrites]

Hey! I was just wondering if, in your latest Trektober story about body mods/tattoos, you had particular designs in mind for each of the characters (I think it was Miles, Kira, Jadzia, Julian, and Sisko mentioned offscreen?)

Oooh GREAT question! I'm not totally sure, but some thoughts:

Miles said he got one along with his fellow non-commissioned officers during the border wars. I don't think it's something as obvious as the starfleet delta, and I don't think individual companies/troops/crews/whatever have their own symbols, but it has to be something uniting and referential to their shared experiences. A reference to an inside joke, something they all saw, a place they all went? A memorial tattoo for one of their own who didn't make it? Do they think it's a fun joke but also kind of a point of pride to get an old school navy tattoo, like an anchor?

Kira's are described as small, scattered, and done by hand in the underground. I was thinking about stick and poke tattoos of the kind people give each other in college dorms. They often have a sketchy, scratchy sort of vibe to them. I also think there would be a lot of curves and circular shapes, to honor the orbs and be in alignment with what we see of Bajoran architecture, even though circles are hard to do well with stick and pokes. And, in the tradition of punk diy tattooing, they don't have to have really deep complex meaning- like maybe there's a raindrop because they were stuck in a cave in the rain and that was what was on their minds, for example. A leaf that looked neat.

Jadzia's I mentioned was some kind of traditional joining tattoo. For some reason I'm thinking about mandalas, something geometric and very intricate, with lots of layers and depth. Maybe the symbiont themselves each have an individual tattoo, and it gets expanded on in each life? Maybe the number of lives or names of past hosts is incorporated somehow? I also think Jadzia learns about Kira's and then asks Kira to give her one in that style, and maybe she also gives Kira one too, so not all Kira's tattoos are from the resistance but she can continue this old tradition in her new life, and not all Jadzia's are tied to her past lives either?

Julian kind of writes his off in the ficlet as childish rebellion but obviously we as the audience know that his desire to reclaim his bodily autonomy separate from his parents is much more than just teen angst. For sure I think he has an IDIC tattoo. He also, sadly, seems like the type to get one in another language that you were told means 'strength' but actually means 'potato,' or something like that. (I do not think the existence of the universal translator stops this kind of problem.) At one point I wrote a trektober ficlet where he has a phoenix on his back, which I think could be very meaningful, but he wouldn't get it until later seasons. Maybe something medical too. Oh, like maybe one of those tattoos that's designed to look like the muscle or bone that would be beneath the skin? Only somewhere you can cover it up in case that squicks out your patients. (God, maybe one of those tattoos designed to look like the skin has been peeled away and there's gears and mechanical stuff underneath. Telling on himself as publicly as he can about what he is.)

Sisko was mentioned as having gotten one as a cadet to impress Jennifer. I think this would be very much an on-trend tattoo, not about personal meaning to him but about whatever was popular for young adults to get tattooed on Earth that year. We also know from canon that he's very proud of his collection of African art, so maybe as a slightly older adult he gets tattoos inspired by his favorite pieces. I don't know the specific nationalities or cultures his collection comes from, but there are many with meaningful tattooing traditions. I also wonder if he's the kind of person to get Jake's name and birthday, or something other commemorative tat, after Jake is born. (Some people have things like a flower for each of their kids. I don't think that's his exact vibe, but something Jake-related.) And I think he has a tattoo artist in New Orleans that he's loyal to and that's the only place he'll get his done.

[leohtttbriar]

this entire episode was incredibly fraught and it's conclusion was almost willfully blind and offensive but also it definitely reveals a lot about the paradigm of thought in which the voyager writers were operating. like, i kept wondering since i started watching voyager why they felt the need to make up a tribe instead of grounding chakotay in the many real people of indigenous american communities. and i guess this episode, "tattoo," offered their reasoning for that choice. as baffling and ill-conceived and un-creative as that reasoning is.

see. there was one moment in this episode where i thought the story they were telling wasn't about to be the most frustrating thing ever. this moment was when young-chakotay references how other tribes are not living in the past, but his and his father's is. the simple idea that not all people are one and the same, that indigenous communities can be and are distinct and not a single amalgamation easily filed under one label, as well as the idea that tribes yet exist--that they are not and have not been vanishing. i thought, after this conversation, that the story was going to go on like a wakanda-type route, where the "fantasy" and "myth" chakotay is criticizing above is actually just a specific sort of highly-developed and protected tech and the people of his tribe were isolationists. i thought when we first saw that peaceful symbol on the alien planet that we were about to be treated to an alternate yet hidden history of a tribe from earth having achieved space-travel far before anyone else from earth did and kept it secret. i thought that might justify, a little bit, making up a tribe instead of picking one and hiring several consultants/writers for the writing room.

obviously, i thought wrong. more fool me--like this episode came out the same decade as dances with wolves. i genuinely should've known better.

i think one of the main mistakes (informed by the umbrella ""mistake"" (i.e. profound and deliberate crimes again humanity) of violent and merciless colonialism, which continues to inform how people interact with the world and will continue to do so for as long as we can imagine) is the treatment of the "myth" and "fantasy." like, another made-up indigenous people in star trek is the bajoran people in ds9, which i think exposes a lot of the writers' perspectives about chakotay. i don't think it's a coincidence that they made the leader of the maquis cell that had to be absorbed into the voyager crew explicitly indigenous. or that said leader had a whole situationship with a bajoran character who thinks very, very little of starfleet and janeway. these are all part of the same creative impulse. and it's a rich idea, started in ds9 and continued into voyager--the maquis, their relationship to bajor and cardassia and the federation, and what their principles are. and through that idea, you can see that the 90s star trek writers were trying to draw from real-world indigenous resistance to shape these freedom-fighters as well as from real-world indigenous insight to shape the bajoran (and chakotay's) spirituality. in that: they made the spirituality "real."

the bajoran deities are real beings. thus the bajoran people have a super special relationship to the land. and the deities are material and there. chakotay's spirituality also is "real", in that it has a direct effect on the material happenings in an episode. this sort of thing can either be: spirituality is drawn from the material world/material insights and human consciousness is a very powerful thing OR these particular people have a "magical" connection to nature. based on everything to do with these spiritualities i've seen in these two shows, it definitely feels like they were going more for the latter.

and then in this episode (!) they make the writing decision to explicitly say that all indigenous people in the americas were inspired by and directly gained wisdom from a bunch of special aliens who wanted to make sure the land of earth was protected and so appointed all the american indigenous people as guardians. like they were One people who both had a super special connection to the land and had to be given that special connection and didn't, like, historically shape and influence and change the ecosystems and flora and fauna in permanent and far-reaching ways, over many tens of thousands of years and many types of tech and city-building and migration patterns and cultural practices, all as or more diverse than the land they were living on.

the reluctance to attribute cerebrality and deliberately produced technology to anyone not of western european descent is just so so present in this episode and in the character of chakotay. him and the bajorans--their gods are real and their myths are real and not the product of richly-thought traditions and reasoning practices. no, their religion is thus far un-evolved. they're not like the white american characters who aren't praying to jesus bc christ is a made-up god and those white people have moved on (""evolved"" maybe, ughhh) and separated themselves from nature and their base instincts about religiosity. no they still pray to their gods who can absolutely answer their prayers if they wanted to.

the thing is. it's just oppression 101 to construct a binary and make one half of that binary Human Beings with Great Minds and the other half Adjacent Human Beings Who Are Close to Nature. like all the oppressions work through that basic framework.

the impulse to use indigeneity as an entry point into environmentalism isn't ridiculous. but people (i mean, white european "philosophy") miss the whole step where the reason you often see tribes making such headway with environmental activism is because they are being politically astute and they recognize that "land" being abstracted in the way it has been since Locke (and obviously before that but Locke is the most relevant thinker in terms of like land policy?) is actually irrational. you can't just build a tube of poison over a water-source. that is Idiotic. that is a thing that Unthinking beings do. iron eyes cody crying over pollution on a highway is not an accurate representation of the land-rights justice that tribes all over the americas have been fighting for.

the thing about "myth" and "fantasy" is that they are philosophies. they inform and represent great abstract and fully-reasoned ideas. and this episode so easily could've been about that. when we start with the flashback of young chakotay noticing the symbol on the rock and his dad praising him and chakotay saying "i only saw it because of a lizard," i thought that could be a way to show how lived experiences allow different people to notice different things about the world. it's not magic, it's practice and thought. but the episode just goes on and on, getting further and further into the racist ideas of the innocent and close-to-nature natives, the "noble savage", and the idea that any great insight originating in a non-white people came from aliens.

(and somehow these biases get transported to the bajoran characters, all of whom are actually played by white characters, which shows how these biases are an actual paradigm and not some sort of 'instinctual prejudice' like racists like to claim their racism is--i.e., not their fault and can't be unlearned.)

this got me thinking about "far beyond the stars." how it works as a futurism and as a comment on racism now. how the futurism is in fact an argument: that the future belongs to everyone; that exploration and great thoughts and great adventures belong to everyone; how this can be framed as inevitable because it is right; how imagining it so is the first step towards actualization; how people are thinkers and they will make a world that is so expansive and so egalitarian that a black man will captain and discover and exist in the stars and among wonder and different people and so much life. and this works as a speculative piece because there is present in its foundation the idea is justice is not retrospective. as going back is impossible, people build forward. sisko imagines forward, and even as he's imagining backward to being a scifi writer in the 20th century, he's still imagining forward.

this episode, "tattoo," completely misses how "far beyond the stars" functioned. how speculation and futurism work as commentaries on the past and the now. it's particular and personal and doesn't imply that an alien species is the reason for any future liberation. or that innocence is a virtue. or that such innocence is due to "protecting the land" (which means one thing and one thing only) and thus gives one magical powers over the weather.

personally, i think chakotay should've found descendants of his tribe from earth on that alien planet--not aliens. i think the episode should've been about how that symbol for peace or something was a symbol for some sort of logical proof of sorts and these descendants should've used it as a technology that could affect the weather through some sci-fi star-treky technobabble that enables telepathy. i think this advancement should've been fundamentally rooted in what the descendants learned long ago on earth by studying the stars and birds and building cities and pyramids. philosophies that are entrenched and informed by a deep understanding of the natural world, expressed not just through tech but through spiritual practice, while not being relegated to """"primitivity.""""

but also i'm definitely not the best person to ask. and the main problem here is that they made up a tribe and put themselves in a position of not really being able to ask anyone.

like i loved chakotay being able to reexamine his past and his relationship to his father and his connection to the galaxy at large. i loved that he found a semi-home so so far away from his own planet. i love that they wrote a character doing that, finding a place of true belonging seventy-thousand light years away. i think that's an interesting as well as important story to tell. but the framing and argument provided in the episode undercut that story so much.

anyway as i am not the person to ask, i'll just leave this excerpt from a paper written by a much much smarter person than me about a sci-fi movie made by navajo filmmaker nanobah becker about the project of cultivating mars:

"Science Fiction, Westerns, and the Vital Cosmo-ethics of The 6th World," Salma Monani