#a lot of these are just vibes but several of them i do have an explanation for
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Entry 12: The One Where We Start Laying the Yellow Brick Road to Italy
I realized the other day that, even though I like to bounce around from place to place in the Lukola timeline, I probably needed to start tightening things up on the ship if I ever wanted to get to the end of the story. And, yes, dammit, this story better have a finale at some point because thereâs nothing more annoying than an open-ended ending, particularly in the romance genre.
Today weâre going to take a quick jaunt over to Italy because â
NO! Not because Luke is allegedly filming there. If youâre into real-time stalking, youâre in the wrong blog. But, Iâm sure thereâs a Discord for that.
Itâs because Iâve had several people ask for my opinion about the change in behavior between Luke and Nicola during their Day 1 interviews there. Wait â people are interested in my thoughts? Wow, thatâs actually kind of nice. Thank you! Okay, back to what I was saying â
Was there a change in behavior when Luke and Nicola reached Italy? Yeah, actually, there kind of was.
By May 9, we had been gifted with a slew of material from Luke, Nicola, and the Bridgerton cast and, I must admit, those early interviews are some of the most entertaining of the tour. In the very beginning, Nicola appeared as the utmost professional â charming, intelligent, and witty at the right moments â and Luke played her likeable counterpart to âBook Colinâ perfection â bouncing between being awkwardly boyish and wickedly roguish, all while looking at Nicola like she had just served him homemade peanut butter crumble.
The two of them together, playing off each other, in my opinion, was better than Bridgerton Season 3 (you cannot beat the World Tour being 99% Luke and Nicola, with only a few random side characters taking up screentime). There was some major âElectric Loveâ radiating from those two throughout the tour, but it seemed very much heightened in the beginning (probably because they hadnât yet answered the same question 67 times). By the way, if you havenât heard that song by Børns, go have a listen. It will, at the very least â hopefully â put you in an upbeat mood for the day.
Now, where was I? Oh, yes â was there a change in behavior between Luke and Nicola when they reached Italy?
Absolutely.
Do I know why?
Absolutely not.
Perhaps Luke was bent because someone spilled his coffee, or Nicola was upset because her stylist made her to wear that little silver bow in her hair. In my opinion, the most intriguing part of Day 1 of the Italy press junket was that Luke and Nicola struggled with answering the question, âWhat is love?â I swear they both babbled on like two kids in debate class who hadnât bothered to read the material given to them before taking their respective podiums. They finally seemed to settle on Lukeâs âMaybe itâs, like, connection.â Well, they seemed to be missing the âconnectionâ that day.
Honestly, no one can explain their âdonât stand so close to meâ vibe during those first day interviews except Luke and Nicola. But, we can at least have some fun and speculate about it with a birdâs eye view. At this point, you should know that I love spreading the puzzle pieces out and seeing how they might all connect. Most people â when putting a puzzle together â start with the side pieces, right? Youâll get my joke in a moment (I hope).
In March 2024 â I donât know the specific date because my timeline is rather murky going back that far (I was unaware Lukola even existed!) â Luke traveled to Los Angeles for a photo spread with InStyle magazine. Iâve heard two versions of this story. The first being that Luke traveled to Los Angeles with Antonia alone; the second being that he traveled to Los Angeles with his friend group, which included Antonia. I couldnât tell you which is true, and it really doesnât matter because it doesnât necessarily add or take away from todayâs story.
Before I get started, I wanted to give a âhurrahâ to The-One-Whose-Group-Chat-Fills-in-Lots-of-Missing-Bits-for-Me-Including-the-Part-Where-Video-Footage-of-Antonia-in-Los-Angeles-Seemed-to-Indicate-a-Celebrity-Was-Not-the-Videographer-and-There-Were-So-Many-British-Accents-in-the-Background-One-Would-Fancy-a-Guess-She-was-Traveling-with-a-Group.
Moving alongâŚ
On April 7, 2024, Antonia posted a series of photographs and clips to her Instagram grid indicating she had been in Los Angeles, including one where she was laying on a blanket in front of the Griffith Observatory and one where she was sitting at a table marked with the number â95.â On April 14, she posted a second set of photographs, tagging her location as Beverly Hills, California and using âEnd of Beginningâ as her audio (yes, I side-eyed this choice of music so donât feel bad if you did as well). The second photo dump included her lounging on a rooftop.
Iâm not going to delve into posts made by Luke and Nicola during that timeframe. I mean, Iâm sure Nicolaâs comment, ââFriendsââŚsure Jan,â on Lukeâs April 11 reshared post about Bridgerton Season 3 was only meant to be applicable to Polin. And, if Luke wanted to use yellow and black hearts to represent the colors Nicola and he were wearing in his April 12 post, thatâs cool, too. And, I am definitely not going to speculate on Nicolaâs April 15 post (for Big Mood) that Luke liked, and she captioned, âI will bite off anything that dangles.â
By April 21, Luke and Nicola were in Australia at the World Premiere of Bridgerton. I am only going to provide a quick overview of Australia instead of a full-fledged recital because, at some point, I will almost certainly dedicate an entry to this country. Letâs start with Luke pulling off the hottest walk-up in Netflix human history (I mean, have you watched it in slow motion?). Then, we had the hard launch of the handholding business (because why again?). And, we had Luke tripping over his words, âWeâre very, like, givingâŚIâm not talking about those scenesâŚâ Oh, and Nicola telling an interviewer that, â[y]ou canât keep a good girl down,â and, in response, Lukeâs lips curling into a wicked-ass Cheshire cat's. We had them in the garden, with Nicola bending down to hug Luke after she had scratched/hit/petted his head. Perhaps I should not mention the possibility of a manâs shirt being visible on a bed behind Nicola (I said possibility not that it was). And, Nicola telling Luke, âYouâre the funnier one,â when he was concerned that perhaps Benedict was funnier than Colin. Then we had the âNicola-in-the-green-dressâ day where, as they were going down the steps, Luke seemed to instinctively reach for Nicolaâs hand, but she played it cool and took his arm instead. Oh, and that entire âgreen dressâ day in general (I mean, there was so much shit going on that day). And, best we do not forget Nicola saying, âthe best foundation for love is friendship,â which mirrored the bracelet âsomeoneâŚin Australiaâ gave Luke that read, âDo you believe the best foundation for love is friendship?â Because thatâs not suspicious at all. Alright, letâs get the fuck out of Australia â but not before I mention Nicola commenting on Lukeâs April 27 Instagram post with âReady for the next?â and Luke replying, âAbsolutely.â Yeah, yeah, yeah, their shenanigans in Australia expanded the USS Lukola tenfold.
Oh, also, let me throw this in here because, if you are a âring truther,â this fact plays a significant role in the Lukola timeline. If you do not know what a âring trutherâ is, thatâs perfectly fine. You can catch up by reading Entry 6 (The One Where I Explained the Claddagh Ring to My Dad) of my blog. I mentioned in Entry 6 that some Lukola sleuths have stated the metadata they pulled from the sketches of the Claddagh ring uploaded by Chupi indicate they were done as early as April 26. In other words, it means the Claddagh was likely commissioned between Australia and Italy. In fact, if we are to believe Chupi when it said it took four weeks to make the ring, then it had to have been commissioned by May 9, 2024, at the latest. Oh, lookie there, thatâs Day 1 of the Italy interviews.
But, before we get to May 9, letâs pause on April 29. That was the day Lukeâs InStyle spread was published â yes, the one I mentioned earlier. Luke has pictures from this photoshoot still on his Instagram grid â in fact, Nicola commented, âYess dude!!â on them â but those arenât the pictures I want to talk about. No, I want to talk about the pictures InStyle posted on its Instagram grid that day. These photographs came directly from Luke, which was confirmed by the InStyle article when it said, ââŚthe actor delighted the InStyle team by delivering the polaroid photos heâd taken for this story tucked oh-so-carefully in a little brown bag for safekeeping.â The pictures Luke provided, among others, included one where he was laying on a blanket in front of the Griffith Observatory in Los Angeles; one where he was sitting at a table marked with the number â95;â and one where he is sitting in a lounge chair on a rooftop. If you want to see the pictures, InStyle still has them available â you just need to go through hundreds of posts to find them. Luke did not like this InStyle post, which was kind of odd because he was tagged in it, and they were reportedly his pictures.
Why did these InStyle polaroids seem so familiar?
Oh, thatâs right, because they were.
Remember that April 7 post of Antoniaâs I mentioned a bit ago? Yeah, the one where Antonia posted a bunch of random pictures from Los Angeles and â only after InStyle posted Lukeâs polaroids â fans realized Antonia had preemptively posted her version of some of Lukeâs polaroids.
I am not going to speculate too much about these pictures or their implications in this blog post, but these pictures may resurface in future posts because I find myself side-eyeing the fact they even exist. And, we should probably accept that Luke was aware of them before his pictures came out on April 29 because he threw a like on Antoniaâs April 7 post. Could it have been a âblindâ like? Sure, I guess, but the logical side of my brain says he probably looked through them at the time she posted. Letâs not worry too much about it right now, though.
After trying to write out my âgeneralâ opinion about the pictures several times, I finally decided that the best way I could articulate my thoughts was through the conversation I had with my father. Yes, Dear Dad returns again for another insightful Q&A.
I started by showing Luke and Antoniaâs three âmatchyâ pictures to my dad and then asked him to compare them. To be clear, the pictures were their respective Griffith Observatory, Table 95, and Rooftop Lounging pictures.
Me: âSo what do you think?â
Dad: âAbout what?â
Me: âUgh! Why did Antonia take those pictures?â
Dad: âWell, to show sheâs part of the âinâ crowd. The only reason I can see them being taken is if she was going to put them on the Internet.â
Me: âUhh, as a matter of fact, she did put them on the Internet! Approximately three weeks before Lukeâs were published.â
Dad: âSee! Iâm not as dumb as you think.â
Me: âWhatever. So, you really believe that? She took them to show people that she was, like, there?â
Dad: âYeah. Why else would she take them? Theyâre not the kind of photos youâd take normally. Whatâs she going to do, put them in an album and show her friends in five years and say, âLook, I sat in Lukeâs chair?â Who does that? Nobody. Plus, Lukeâs pictures look like they were taken with a polaroid camera and Antonia took hers with, I guess, a phone. Why use two different cameras? Again, it doesnât make sense. Seems to me like she knew what pictures he was taking, and she was trying to copy them so she could put them on the Internet.â
Thanks, Dad.
You do not have to accept my fatherâs thoughts on the photographs. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. However, I think we can meet in the middle and opine that, at a minimum, Antoniaâs pictures caused the weak Lukolas to jump overboard; at most, they gave some people stalker vibes; and somewhere in between, they introduced Antonia's negative influence over the fandom and what some may consider trolling behavior (even if it wasnât recognized then).
Now, before we land in Italy on May 9, letâs summarize what has happened during the preceding two months.
First, we had Luke traveling to Los Angeles in March with Antonia, either alone or as part of a friend group. Luke had pictures of himself taken while there.
Second, we had Antonia posting pictures in early April that would be linked directly to Lukeâs pictures by the end of the month.
Third, throughout the month of April, we had Luke and Nicola traveling together for the World Tour. We have all seen these interviews, and we have all formed independent opinions about them.
Fourth, based on Chupiâs own words, we know the Claddagh ring must have been commissioned no later than May 9.
Okay, now weâve reached May 9, Day 1 of the Italy press junket.
Besides the press interviews, what happened on that day?
Well, Antonia reposted Luke singing Coldplayâs âYellowâ to her TikTok account.
Uhh⌠Huh. Interesting.
I mean, itâs possible that this was just a coincidence and she just liked Lukeâs version of it. Or, itâs possible Antonia knew that âYellowâ was the Polin wedding song and she anticipated trolling Nicola and/or the fandom with it. But, if we believe she knew âYellowâ was the Polin wedding song, that means either Luke told her, or someone with that knowledge told her (i.e., someone from Lukeâs team or family/friend group). We also know that Luke mentioned this song in the May 16, 2022 Netflix Tudum article when Nicola and he were asked about their song choices for Season 3. Luke stated his frontrunner was âYellowâ by Coldplay âbecause of Penelopeâs dresses.â Regardless of why Antonia posted the song, I find it hard to imagine Netflix, Bridgerton, Shondaland, Nicola, or Luke were too impressed by Antonia resharing it on TikTok. I mean, at this point, Netflix & Co. would surely have been aware that Antoniaâs âcopycat postâ went over with the fandom like a wet blanket in December in Canada. I imagine some questions were being asked and Luke may very well have received a hand slap from Corporate â and maybe even from Nicola.
But, thatâs not the only thing that happened on May 9.
Luke posted his Homme magazine spread to his Instagram grid on that day, too. He captioned the post, âChatting through all things S3 with @hommeplusmag [o]ut next week x.â Nicola commented, âYessss,â and Luke tagged his post with the location of Hackney, London. That last part â about Luke tagging the location in Hackney â apparently sent the fandom into a deep-dive ofâŚNicolaâs backyard. Why? Because Nicola lives in Hackney (Nicola herself confirmed she lived in Hackney in a March 18, 2024 interview with Derry Now), and rumors started to circulate that Lukeâs pictures were taken at her home.
Hmm, I didnât realize May 9 was such a busy day, did you?
So, which came first â the chicken or the egg? Did Antonia repost âYellowâ to her TikTok before Luke posted his Homme in Hackney images to Instagram, or vice versa? Iâm sure someone out there has this information. The answer might help shine some light as to why Luke and Nicola seemed âoffâ in the early part of their Day 1 Italy interviews. But, then again, does the order really matter? Regardless of who posted first, it would seem to me that âYellowâ was a very possible culprit for the different energy on set that day.
That, or Luke really was peeved over someone spilling his coffee.
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Daily Vibe Check 11/27
Riize (Collective)
The Fool + King of Chalices
This is a new and positive energy they are all kind of taking on as a collective right now. Rather than taking on a serious or harsh approach to their situation, they are actively choosing to be more mellow and carefree and simply receptive. This comes after a lot of interaction with OT7- I really think this has made a difference in their outlooks as a group. We talked about mending relationships yesterday, and I think this energy speaks about "moving together." I think there is a lot of focus on their interpersonal relationships as of late, and it is a positive development.
Eunseok
King of Swords + 6 of Swords + 7 of Wands
In terms of seriousness, he is the most serious right now, and that's saying a lot bc it's not even that serious. The fact that two of these cards thar have these charts pop up, reiterates to me personally that Eunseok is one of the 2 members whose opinions are listened to the most by upper management because they can communicate effectively. Particularly, he seems to be very analytical, especially at this time. If I had to be specific, I think he is actively monitoring fan reactions and the fandom in general to see how things are shifting. He seemed to be very interested in this even a month ago. He is doing well by the looks of it because he seems to have "lifted a veil" of sorts. Like he is just now being more exposed to lightheartedness and love amongst the fans. I did think this was because of his exposure to OT7 they got recently and continue to get lately.
How he feels about OT7 protests:
8 of Pentacles + 7 of Swords + Judgement
In general, he is really happy that there are actually fans working hard to create a reality where the truth will prevail. He hopes we can be smart here. But I also think he is actively maybe translating things? I get the vibe that he knows very very well that we are hiding certain developments and plans? So either he is translating our posts, or he is watching OT6 talk about how we are hiding our plans. One of those. But generally, yeah, he feels a bit giddy and inspired. You know how Seunghan felt like Briize were the king and he should bow? It's a similar feeling but less severe lmao.
Wonbin Shenanagins:
Queen of Wands + Knight of Pentacles + 8 of Swords
Wonbin is kind of crazyyy lol. I got a lot of asks, wondering if him liking and responding to OT7 posts was intentional or not. It was intentional? Lol. He is being a little bit reckless, leading me to believe he has been scolded or restricted in his actions concerning this before- maybe warned against it. He is playing innocent, though. He wants Briize to keep their motivation, so he enjoys "planting" these little seeds to fuel us (ugh, our OT7 leader đđŞ). When I asked about his intentions behind this further- the 8 of Swords popped up. Perhaps he seeks to harm or to create tears and rifts in the arguments that OT6 love to sow about the members and how they feel. Out of all Members, Wonbin has the most distain for OT6 fans, I believe. The others are still on that line of understanding and acceptance towards them. Wonbin is not crossing it and is teetering well into the dark side lolol.
Award Shows/As the end of the year approaches:
10 of Chalices + 6 of Pentacles + The Devil
There were a few discussion asks in my box about the upcoming award ceremonies, and if anything would occur during these. I think this may be a win? Lmao lowkey? I think some sort of contraint placed on the members will be released (to a DEGREE not fully) and they will be able to express a little bit more in some speeches than we may have expected- and it will reflect their true opinions. I think it will anger some.
How OT7 Briize will view these events:
8 of Wands + 5 of Swords + 10 of Wands
Okay, so YES this will UPSET the other team- which we know because of the 5 of Swords. It will feel like this are MOVING for us, and there will be sore losers all around. With the 10 of wands, there may be more motivation to do more and more for a period of time, to further efforts even more even though it seems overbearing because we will probably start to see more than ever, the real effects of our efforts and the fact that they make a big difference and will continue to do so if we continue to fight. So, there will be some validation for our actions. We will feel- or rather we will WANT to feel good abt our accomplishments later.
Final Notes:
Not doing a full bottom of the deck read, but it was Knight of Chalices! With this in mind, I want you all to remind yourself to relax. Our biggest asset, unlike other fandoms, isn't necessarily our numbers. It is our dedication and resillience- the will to never give up. That doesn't mean we have to be serious all the time. It is a matter of commitment. Have fun with this. Troll. Be a menace. Laugh. Relax. We can still have fun while doing our thing and making our demands known. Riize is doing this too as we speak. Just don't forget that whatever you feel- hopelessness, sadness, desperation, etc... you are not alone in thinking that. Talk to others, bond, lift each other up, and that will only further solidify the strength of this movement. The outcome is looking positive!
#astrology#kpop#tarot#riize is 7#riize#riize is seven#smsupportsbullying#seunghan#anton#eunseok#sungchan#shotaro#sohee#wonbin#bring back seunghan
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Do you have any kakasaku recs? Iâd love to branch out more with them!
hmm. It depends on what you like? I'd definitely recommend anything by @twofortea, @goldfishlover73, @bluemingqueen,
Dear Future You by @scarecrows-to-cherrytrees is one i read recently and freaking adored. And it's completed. Timetravel, broody early Naruto Kakashi, his future Sakura pops back to cause mayhem. Sexy, addictive, wonderfully written. There's one fight scene, if you read it you'll get it, but it's so dark, and sexy, and fuck I felt like I should hang up my keyboard because I'll never write anything so amazing when I read that scene.
Bluemingqueen has an adorable ongoing same age au/timetravel called The Danger of Smudged Storage Scrolls that I'm also seriously loving. I think it's almost finished. Its freaking cute. Awkward little Kakashi, determined to not be useless Sakura, sweet best friend vibes and mostly I'm just obsessed with how cute they are together so young! Its so well done and I cant wait till its finished. They also had a lot of great amazing one shots for kakasaku week. Like seriously, so good.
If you like AU, I just binged the shit out of The Exciting Adventures of Lotus Man, Blue Boy and the Not-So-Relucant Doctor Petals by goldfish. I had to Google the anime they crossed with for this but it was so hilarious, amazing pacing, the way they are like, PROFESSOR at smoth as fuck Xovers. Like. The way the two worlds work so well. The characterization are on point and if you like romance with a side of bromance and a shy Kakashi, it's for you. I really recommend this one. Goldfish also has a hanahaki disease long one shot, Blood Red Cherry Blossoms. It is beautiful. It is flawless. There isn't a single thing about the story that I would have done differently or went, "hm, idk but whatever." But the end will crush your soul for ever. It's been months and it still lives on my head, making me well up with sad and anger. It's okay though, because I wrote a fix it chapter 2 in my head so I console myself.
Tea has a lot of smut. Not really my thing anymore but what I have seen is... well done lol there are also several cute as fuck one-shot and short fics amongst the porn. Baby You Can Drive My Car is an adorable example. And No Dogs Allowed is as well. I love dog dad Kakashi here so freaking much. And I say that as someone that can not stand obnoxious dog people irl.
There are several other long ones I can not think of the names of rn. One, involved K and S getting involved in a drug/human trafficking thing. I wish so much I could remember because it was amazing. She's drugged at a bar, he saves her. She comes on to him, he actually is into it but she's drugged so. They finally get handsy later and she's abducted mid coitus. Gets wild from there.
Hope that helps!!
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Part of me? Wanted to say "but that would be too convenient, surely" but? I mean?
You're not wrong? Cause like? What is that, if not just a refinement of a pre existent instinct? Humans have "something is Wrong⢠with that one" instincts. WE retreat from and push away other humans who register to our senses as "dangerous to the group".
Could be rabies symptoms. Could be sever and sudden onset mental illness. Might be an enemy infiltration of some sort. We pick up on that. Isolate and exclude the individual. Quarantine, be it fair or unfair, logical or illogical. It helped us survive.
And with the Force? Vibe Checks are a real and valid thing. Maybe John feelin kinda sketchy to you, all of a sudden. Maybe, John shouldn't come around as often. Figure himself out. Keep the HELL away from vulnerable parties. Get your shit together, John. Or we WILL. For you.
It's not even the Sith! THAT is an ideology. A fucked, fucked FAITH.
They'd prob have just as much problems with Nightsisters. Other Darksiders. Because it's a branch of their "is there a Predator nearby?" Senses. The Dark Side leads to unstable behavior. Selfish, destructive, behavior. Bad for everyone around them. Can do A LOT of damage, very VERY fast.
0 to 150% with little to no warning, and THAT'S how they? Historically? Probably lost entire towns or city blocks. If not WORSE, since their whole RACE is Force Sensitive. It would be something EVERYBODY watches out for. Culturally.
Like having your neighbor turning into a walking bomb. Knowing the warning signs. Being able to head that off. Putting them DOWN before it gets to that? It could and WOULD save lives.
You would develope a violent knee jerk reaction. Be able to pick them out of a crowd. Watch them like HAWKS.
Suuuuup, buuuuuuddy? Wanna back away from me n mine? Before I shoot you?
Let's talk about this. :) be smart and no on has to die. :)
An SI-OC would already know what Palpatine is. They could probably brace for it. Avoid him. So they don't *locks eyes, instant kill bill sirens, I am arrested for trying to murder the Chancellor* you know?
Sith, at least? Would probably be EASY to spot? It would get a visceral disgust and rejection. Like every rotten thing was waved in your face. It'd be the nuanced folks that would confuse her?
Like? Do I Dislike you because you're an Asshole? Or do I THINK you're an Asshole and Dislike you... because you are in danger of Falling, and desperately need help? Is that guy's voice ACTUALLY grating? Or is it his Force presence?
Why do I distrust and want to shove this perfectly nice old lady, off a Speeder platform?
At least Babies are simple. No wonder SI-OC chose to be a Creche Master. Babies know what they're about. It's naps, hugs, and eating. Good stuff.
OKAY, FIRST? Like the Picture Says...
So!
Here I was, sittin', thinkin', pondering my thoughts. Thing to myself? "How could one? Presumably female, much like myself, Jedi repopul-" and THAT is when my brain, worn and weary, from years of The Internet? SLAMMED its fucking pint down on the bar counter, turned to me with an ugly scowl and sneered?
"You KNOW fucking how. Don't be coy."
( O.O) w-well alright then, brain. Little aggressive. Kinda wondering where you got the knife. I... I'ma just... go... *pint glass is thrown after me, shattering on the door as it just barely misses*
So! Yeah. Birth, probably. But STILL! That's like? Still ONE(1) fuckin Jedi right? And even IF Mr. "I am literally half midi-chlorians by blood" sired two Force Sensitives on his first go? That's no guarantee EVERYONE does?
Unless..... >.> we are taking into account a Force Sensitive RACE. THEN? Oh, THEN? It's not a matter of IF, but HOW MUCH. Enough to hit that arbitrary cut off point? What if you don't care? What if you say "everybody can be a Jedi"? Want to TRUELY spread the Light. Not just to those who are STRONG enough... but to EVERYONE.
There are a few races like that! But! That STILL? Doesn't solve the Puzzle! The Problem! Of how could One(1) VERY determined Jedi lady, who? Presumably is pretty cool with motherhood. Rebuild The Jedi Order, by NOPING⢠out before Order 66.
Again, presumably AFTER taking on the role of Creche Master. And AFTER taking all the youngling on a Super Fun Unplanned Don't Tell The Other Grown Ups Suprise Feild Trip~â (yaaaaay!)(who wants snacks! Everybody got their travel bags and buddies? Let's gooooo~â!)
Cause like? Still need a stable population. And enough Jedi to *obscene gestures multiculturally* at the Sith.
My? Proposal? We turn to the Wisdom of the Monster Fuckers. (Wait wait WAIT! Don't leave! HEAR ME OUT!) I KNOW this sounds like a sex thing! Not a sex thing! It's a "Who said Humanoid Meant Live Birth? Were fucking Aliens, Bro" thing! Just because? Our SI-OC? Was reborn AS a vaguely human shaped sentient?
DOESNT MEAN SHE'S A MAMMAL.
That weird hair color could mark her as some WEIRD, man! Fuck, for all we know she could be a fungus! It's vaguely body horror! You get over it! Adapt to new biology!
Learn?? You lay CLUTCHS. Fuckin EGGS. All baby making is external after the first bit. Something, something, easier to defend against predators. SI-OC doesn't remember that part. There was this high pitched ringing in her head then a thump. She was on the floor. May have fainted. What're you, a cop?
They offer her weird alien birth control.
She takes the birth control.
Learns she is a Rare and Near Extinct Species, a la Master Mundi. Learns it's VERY detrimental to her health to lay clutches. Takes a lot of resources, she can't LEAVE it, so with out a partner or community (or sufficient hoard of food) she WILL starve to death. It HAS happened.
No, seriously, look Mafame Che in the eyes. It HAS happened. And no you CAN'T "push your impulses into the Force". It's a biological imperative. Your body physically won't LET you.
Exactly three options. Babies born, they die, or YOU DIE.
......little intense. Got it. Yes she would like that birth control. She will continue to be both average and forgettable. Pay no attention to the Jedi Creche Master In Training! Oh look! It's kenobi! *yeets fellow jedi under the speeder*
Take some.... research trips >.> <.< >.> which is of course totally not scouting out new Temple locations! To the Wild Zone. Mmmmm, no one for WEEKS by hyperdrive! It's so calm out here!
Only took, like, 278 different planets scouted! To find the right one.
*starts building dwellings.* *starts directing "too old" Force Sensitives or Families that want to stay together and are willing to move, towards the location.*
New secret Jedi planet? Whaaaaat? Nooooooo. That would be illegal. Jedi can't break RULES! Don't be silly. Oh? Is that Skywalker? *same Speeder, new jedi. YEET!*
But WAIT! The War Approachth! D:> upsetting. Better get ready to give that "we totally need to Hide The Babies For War Reasons" presentation she has prepared. But FIRST?
A clutch. Got a transport pod ready to go. Got food stockpiled. Got the birth control out. Now? Just need a male! Too uh... contribute.
.......look, she wants her legion of tiny jedi babies okay? They glow like STARS. Everything is BETTER with them around. And she's kinda come around to this whole... disgusting slime... goo... Thingâ˘. Cause I mean? At LEAST it's not pushing one OUT! ( o7 Padme, you have her respect. But also you are a madwoman.)
The Healers, are of course, FROTHING at the mouth.
YOU DUMB MOTHER FUCKER. They hiss, like healing and very concerned paragons of needle weilding fury. Where the FUCK are you going to just? GET?? A male of you INCREDIBLY RARE AS FUCK Species? You damn near dead and no longer existent species??!? You have DELIBERATELY put yourself in EXTREME medical distress! For WHAT?! Did you HAVE a plan!?
Yeah. :3 I call it Pulling a Yoda's Linage *Yoda ears move from Concern, to Intrigued*
*click*
..........what was that. Jedi SI-OC, What Was That?? *comms start blowing up* What did you just DO?
Oh :3c simple. She asked. It's the only polite thing to DO after all. She DOES need assistance. Surely someone would be willing to offer. If they can. How? You may ask?? Why look so CONCERNED Councilors! She simply assumed, that? Since there is no way of KNOWING where in the Galaxy surviving members of her Race are? And time IS of the essence? She SHOULD reach as wide an audience as she can, as FAST as she can... RIGHT?
>:3c so, of course, she posted her request to the Holonet.
Video and all.
"Grettings, I am Jedi SI-OC. I am an [race] and currently a Creche Master here at the Jedi Temple of Coruscant. I require the assistance of a healthy, willing Male of my species, as I have laid a clutch. And wish to have it fertilized. I would like to have children. We would, of course, discuss co parenting the children before beginning. I have, attached, further details. Thank you for your time. May the Force be with you"
Sexiest shit a LOT of people for egg laying races have seen in years. Well... those with Very Specific Jedi Kinks. Of course, no one ADMITS to jedi kinks. But like... you've thought about it. Don't lie. Everyone's thought about it. It's them and the Mandalorians.*commiserating noises*
But like? The NEWS CYCLE.
Holy SHIT.
Yeah, yeah, tensions and possible succession from the Republic. Sith plots in the background. But? *new casters violently clear their planned segments for THIS* JEDI? Horny on main!? Is THIS ALLOWED? IS this horny? What race is that? C-can other people volunteer? And if so, who? We take to the streets! Sir, what's your opinion on-?
OUTTA MY WAY, I'MMA BANG A JEDI! *frenzied mob like behavior*
*temple guards, unnamused.* back! BACK! Horny jail! For ALL OF YOU!
Just?? It's? So, SO? Important to me? That their are Mandalorian [race] that show up. Because the need to repopulate their people is more important then *scrunch nose* Jedi(ew). That it becomes the Galaxy's hottest Bachelorette show. WHO? Amongst these Fine And Acomplished Men? Will the Jedi CHOOSE? To have babies with! They ask.
And, presumably, marry and learn the power of family and friendship and emotions and be HEALED by LOVE etc etc.
There are shipping charts. It's horrifying. The talk shows LOVE it.
Council? Day drinking. Except for Mundi. He's just like "....but did you HAVE to you they Holonet? It's so MESSY >:/ everyone's in our BUSINESS now." Cause he's not a hypocrite. Grumpy asshole? Absolutely. But not a hypocrite.
Just? The single most "....who?" Jedi ever. Causing the BIGGEST fuss. Right at the worst possible moment, for Sidious. Causing an explosion of glee and hope and laughter etc, all across the Galaxy. Good feeling towards the Jedi. EVERYBODY talking about them. There's gonna be HUNDREDS more!
If she does this AGAIN (in a decade. Madame Che was NOT joking on the stress it puts on the body) there could be thousands new Jedi over the coming years! (Probably why the Sith fuckin wiped them OUT, not that she thinks about it. Fuckers. Who's laughing NOW?! Huh? WHO LAUGHING NOW?!)
Again! Very, unspeakably Ace. Not a sex thing. I just think I'd be funny? That the Forces answer to The Evil Sith plan was... Babiesâ˘.
What are we? Fuckin YODA?
@babbling-babull @hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @spidori @hypewinter @mayfay
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This is a special genre of f1 picture(to ME.)
#ive talked a lot about helmets lately oops#i guess i just rly have an obsession with how they're an extension of the driver#and a representation of them and their only sense of personality and individuality when theyre all geared up#so theres something to me about the separation of helmet from driver like in these pics#of course theres pics of the helmet on its own for model kinda pics(like all the pics i used for my past project posts)#but this is its own genre. helmet doing its own thing. helmet away from the vicinity of its owner#helmet being protected from the elements. it has its own carrying bag. it gets an umbrella. etc etc#the first pic made me on the lookout for pics w a similar vibe. IDK WHY BUT IM RLY OBSESSED WITH IT#having a severe helmet fucker era </3 i look at these and i feel very weird about them đ#not included cause its a differnt genre but also thinking abt pics where someone other than the driver themselves is holding their helmet#theres something weirdly intimate to me about it. its too reminiscent of that one painting of the germanic warrior holding the roman helmet#<- DO YOU GET WHAT IM IMPLYING HERE.#anyways. i digress. helmet being taken care of and protected is cute to me#its such an extension of the driver so its kinda funny ig that they get their own photoshoots#also yeah these are all nando helmets bcs i couldn't find pics from other drivers that i thought had the same vibe#and i think its interesting how these correlate with whom the photographer is and the level of popularity of the driver#like are you popular enough that someone will see your helmet apart from you and think its important enough for a pic?#and its so interesting comparing pics from the same time from different teams#bcs you can see how different the motivations of the different photographers are based on what the pics are like#well blah blah blah helmet kink blah blah blah#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#helmet
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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trying to look for a ttrpg group in spaces where I can't just go 'listen I want to play this shit in the tumblr fandom kind of model (gay subtext extremely welcome bordering on essential, mutual unhinged character psychoanalysis, we could create a novel of a backstory together to make this sadder, let's all play with our OC dolls together and also sometimes dice are rolled I guess)' and be readily understood and/or not be immediately side-eyed or denigrated for my inherent unavoidable tumblerinaness feels like such an annoying debuff to deal with on the quest. like I know my people exist out there but how do I express myself in the right way and wade through all the copious not-it (not for me) dynamics to find them!!!
#I feel like a weird kid in the playground trying to find someone who plays the same way as me all over again fhdksjfa#(and if/when I find them -- how the fuck to approach them)#turns out there are so many ways to play rpgs that do not appeal to me in the slightest#there are so many dimensions -- creative interpersonal gameplay-wise -- where you can severely not match with someone lmao#with half of the people I've come across it seems like it would be a struggle just to agree there should be a session 0 :')#but I know I KNOW this could be exactly my kind of fun with the right people it's a little maddening#(my group of friends when I was 12-13 was like... we were trying SO hard to play an rpg without having an rpg to play#some from first principles but with no guidelines to help us stuff#and it was one of my rare 'oh fuck. oh fuck yeah this could be it!!' social moments at that time lol. clearly something instinctive there)#I have been lurking around in a discord server on a more national/local level but I'm not gonna lie... a lot of The Good Old Boys shit#dominating the conversation there. I really don't think they mean to take all the oxygen out of the room for everyone else but uh#it's kind of just what happens. I have seen seen hour-long debates over definitions so esoteric and navel-gazing it would haunt your dreams#trying to wade through that to find the people who might vibe more with me seems... so exhausting and I don't know howww!!#the high masking autistic blues plays again
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I'm so in awe of you guys who have already picked out who you're romancing first based on 2 seconds of trailer footage, a few promo pics, and a voice actor. I'm too demi for that, I can't even imagine
#I'm so happy seeing everyone's art and takes and everything already#I'm just also AMAZED#like I'm gonna need to go on several quests with these people before I'll have any idea who I'm gonna smooch idk#(also I know some of them pop up in the books but I do feel like a lot of y'all are just going purely on Vibes here)#(and again- nothing but support here!! I'm having a great time watching you all go!!)#dragon age: the veilguard
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just randomly remembered that during my like 10+ attempts at the shadow yukiko fight i more or less consistently ran out of revival beads so yosuke was just dead (well unconscious but whatever) on the ground for like half the fight gfhfjvhfhfhd-
#puppy rambles#persona 4#p4#as much as i love him he's not always the most useful. that fight is one of those times-#still always keep him in the party though. perfect p4 team to me is yosuke teddie and naoto#i haven't gotten to naoto joining the party yet but i love her. trans icon. vibing naoto is the best thing to happen to the persona 4 fandom#and yosuke and teddie are my favorites of the investigation team thus far. the others are all very close but they're above the others#dunno why i like yosuke so much. souyo is def part of it#and teddie is very very silly. idk why people hate him so much like yea he can be kinda annoying but he's only existed for a few months#he doesn't understand social cues yet. he's just autistic leave him alone vhgbhmfhdf- /hj#i feel like a lot of persona characters have autism vibes but that's probably at least partially just me projecting#at the very least i'm sure we can all agree that aigis and marie do. autism arcana#that's. probably why they're my favorite girls ggyfubhngd-#aigis is easily my favorite persona character. she's cute and also silly :3 and bisexual i love the bisexual toaster and her doors <3#(aikoto + hamugis polycule for the win. makoto and kotone aren't dating obv. ryoji's also dating both of them separately#)#and marie is cute and also silly i'm totally dating her. love how persona technically lets you polyamory so long as you don't date everyone#i have to max her social link for the golden-exclusive content anyway so might as well#âââ this post got derailed. i like the part where i talked about my beloved persona 3 bisexual polycule#p4's def the best persona game i think but i love p3 very much too. makoto kotone aigis and ryoji are unsurprisingly my faves#really love yukari too. i spent several hours trying to figure out how to add mods to p3p so i could date her as kotone#it was not successful. i'll probably get it on steam when i inevitably play it gghdhchvhv-#and i'll get reload at somepoint too. probably on steam at least first so i can use the kotone mod i need my girlie#makoto is also great i love him. emo non-binary icon. but also silly girlboss. they're both so mentally unwell#that reminds me of a drawing i have in my drafts i should post that#oh also it's aikoto week apparently??? which is very poggers. idk the prompts but i need to draw my sillies regardless#i do slightly prefer hamugis but they're both very very cute to me. the toaster has two hands she can kiss both the doors-#idk why that joke's so funny to me. i should stop now-
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Hate it when I see people say shit like "the Violet paradox mons are so stupid and lame, they're all just robots!" like uhmmmmm yea they are and it OWNS ok. blasts you with my beam attack
#the killer robot aesthetic fucks severely and is MUCH scarier#and imo it works a lot better with the plot tbh#iron jugulis and iron thorns are PEAK#iron valiant and iron moth are RAD#iron bundle is SILLAY#iron hands#i ended that tag to early but i forgot what i was going to say there anyways whoopsies#anyways i feel like its fits the unnatural horrors beyond human comprehension vibe a lot better#âtheyre all just robotsâ well all the scarlet exclusives are just dinosaurs. fucker#well guess what my son boy Henry is a robot AND a dinosaur piss your pants about it#the fact that theyre all robots MAKES it scary like. why! how far in the future is this! at what point will every pokemon become a robot!#how terrifying is this future that they had to become robots in order to survive. did they even BECOME anything or#did the people of the future create them to look like present day pokemon that are now extinct.#much more intriguing to me personally than. here is a woolly mammoth. its descendants do not look like this anymore bc idk evolution or wtv#not saying i dont like the ancient pkmn just saying the people who dislike the future ones are WRONG theyre sick as hell ok#anyways more importantly for each version what paradox mon do you think fucked Arven and Mabosstiff up so bad like#ive been thinking about this a LOT#cant be one of the ones you encounter with him present or he probably wouldve brought it up#my bet for Violet is iron valiant since i feel like thats the scariest#i have no thoughts on scarlet but i guess the equivalent#(based on pokedex placement)#would be roaring moon#idk tho i havent thought about it much#either way. fucking terrifying#pokemon spoilers#lobster.txt
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would you like to elaborate on any gender analysis or headcanons for the bad kids?
I love th way this is worded. what if I wouldn't like to where would we be
#not art#I am Not puttin u on the spot anon u probs mean well! and we all talk that way in certain directions. this is more abt me bowing out lol#like. idk dont got a lot to add here! like I believe in transfem fig and a world of beautiful genders in the future for gorgug but#ngl I am. severely limited in how I experience gender. on account of not really having one#like thinking-a-character-changing-gender-would-mean-nothing-about-them level of limited#I did that post on riz and gorgug pretty specifically from the cultural angle bc That is something I have experience with#and most of it really was just like. reading the vibes from canon details#some stuff jumps out to me pretty clearly sometimes! and thats kinda it#and like. a lot of Gender Readings will necessarily return to elaborate on the setting and how it works specifically there for me#gender is a construct means gender necessarily depends on where and when it's perceived and enforced etc#and that I'm not putting in a post lol. at the very least if I talk abt that Im doing a comic#as well it will always interact with the world around it in important ways that are so mundane and small a tumblr post would be#a subpar container for it#so I guess my answer really kinda is ''I wouldn't like to'' lmao. genuinely. black box computing#when I got something to say abt it I will! and until then I will simply chill n do other thangs#thats all thank u for ur time. I resume drawing now. sayonara
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eve talking about how meanspirited OS would get towards ash or psyduck is kinda reminding me of the kirby anime rn tbh⌠and i love the show, dgmw, and i dont think it gets as meanspirited as OS, but why were there several episodes about how the cappytown characters are super quick to turn on and bully kirby (who is an infant in this canon and cant really defend himself in this regard) at the smallest shit. like the episode where tuff and his friends pick on kirby and laugh at him for being so trusting and whine that tiff is a tight-ass for getting mad over it. or tokkoriâs whole thing about bullying him and kicking him around. like itâs not nearly as funny as the writers seemed to think it was.
#like omg in the finale where he gets berated by the townsfolk for not being able to stop the destruction even though its out of his hands??#and he DID do as much as he could and was battered so severely in the process that his warp star was destroyed??#i get they were upset but oh my god they KNOW its dededeâs fault!!!! why are they shitting all over the character that always saves them???#and clearly did as much as he could???#i remember watching that i was just like ââman kirby shouldve just let these bitches die if their love for him is so conditionalââ#tbh i always got the vibe that no one actually liked kirby genuinely and unconditionally besides tiff and meta knight#and episodes like that didnt help. like wtf.#tiff gets a lot of poor treatment too but damn at least she can sorta fight back and shes often proven right#kirby doesnt have that kind of agency at all because he canât think complexly and cant speak#echoed voice
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iâve got headaches and bad luck, but they couldnât touch you, no
rayvio sketchdump. i will drag you all down with me đđ¤
#banging my fists on the table EMO KIDS EMO KIDS EMO KIDDDDDDSSSSSS#walk with me. she totally kissed him just to ~get it out of her system~ and it backfired SEVERELY now she has to deal w all these. feelings#bc he would never initiate no matter how much he likes her (which is a fucking lot trust me besties trust me) aidjunskasdjklds#they saw you from across the bar and fucking hate your vibe#theyâre so punk rock to meeee oh my god do you get it DO YOU GET IT#gentle reminder that punk is inherently gnc and rayvio is bi4bi to me xoxo ily#this doodle dump was so fun i borrowed some Pinterest poses to break up my brain worms and tried new brushes on all of them hehe#also rereading the manga i think Vi has lighter eyes than what Iâve given her here but i rly like the idea of her having big brown eyes so.#I spent literally so long choosing the perfect FOB lyric (i knew immediately but had to comb through everything just in case)#Nikki draws#the promised neverland#rayvio#Rachel please see this lmao
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anyway my issue with a lot of other helpols (which just makes me avoid the larger community and do my own thing in my corner) is that a lot of them are recon (which is fine!!!) but i am inherently informal and weird as shit in my practice. i call hades and hestia my spiritual dad/mom, hermes gets donuts as offerings when iâm trying to get to class on time and avoid traffic, i once asked artemis to keep deer from jumping out in front of my car on a road trip home with an offering of granola/sports bars. when people get too formal with the gods and pull out the titles, i usually bail bc it makes me uncomfortable. my relationship with my deities is extremely deep and connected, and itâs not that people who have more formal relationships with them canât also have those, but itâs that if i called hades âlord hadesâ with any seriousness, heâd hit me with a rock, basically.
i donât judge other people for their practices or more formal relationships bc honestly, itâs between you and your gods, but like⌠my go-to offering is the pomegranate brookside dark chocolates, and yes. sometimes i eat them out of my offering dishes the next day.
#i feel like recons are a lot more uhhh#noticeable on this platform? or maybe there really are just more of them#but i feel like us gremlin freaks arenât very common on here#or maybe we just donât get many posts bc people donât relate as much or we donât do the whole lists of offerings/altar ideas/prayers/etc#my list of offerings for hades wonât work for most people bc heâs very specific in how he reaches out to me#i have a severe aversion to mint. a lot of people put mint in their hades offerings and i know why#but i genuinely hate mint anywhere near me so i canât use those#so i just donât bother with a lot of offering lists and making them myself feels like letting people into my underwear drawer? like. thatâs#between me and Himâ basically. although thatâs not to imply godspousing or anything iâm just using it as an easy example people will#understand. but yeah idk#i avoid a lot of the helpol community because i donât feel like i fit in well#i am not recon and never will be bc it doesnât vibe with my personality or lifestyle#i show my devotation in other waysâ but those arenât as easy to post online or share#and i donât really want to share them eitherâ soooo ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ#pagan stuff#bones.txt#zeus gets titles when i work with him tho. i know heâs usually in good humor and the one time i made a bid to him for rain it went well#(after 4-6 weeks of processing time) but i still try to be extra polite to him#hades doesnât care. zeus might actually strike me down with lightning yâknow?#or at least threaten it idk
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#here's some of the classics on that list i have beef with btw:#i have tried to read A Confederacy of Dunces several times and it's funny but it's also so cringe and Ignatius is so obnoxious#that i find it too difficult to finish like i just feel depressed and bad for everybody around him too much#i tried reading Infinite Jest like a decade ago and i got like 200 pages in and i remember thinking it felt like#such a slog the entire time because he's just so gd wordy and also i stopped liking DFW after i heard the abuse allegations against him#frankenstein i didnt read that long ago but i just remember finding it so boring for some reason?? i feel i might need to read it again#dracula ngl i feel like im cheating a bit saying ive completely read it because i loved the beginning and then HATED so much of the rest#the characters were just so boring and melodramatic hahaha i just liked the part where jonathan was doing a travel diary#and trapped in the castle tbh and after that i skimmed quite a bit#i almost flipped my shit when i saw ender's game on there because I ALWAYS mix it up with ready player one by ernest cline#which i bought the audiobook of a while back and hated every minute of it i dont think its good at all#but it wasnt that so phew my faith in this list is somewhat restored#i read most of the first game of thrones book and was disappointed tbh maybe because id seen the show already#so i was like 'this feels almost exactly the same except worse?' because i'd been expecting it to give me more depth and insight#into the characters but instead it felt exactly the same and i still didnt love any of the characters enough to feel attached to them#also i am fully aware me not personally liking or vibing with a book doesnt mean it doesnt deserve to be considered great btw#but i think if youre gonna be like me and force yourself to go through a bunch of lists like this very seriously then you also need to just#let yourself be like 'yeah not for me' without feeling too bad about it sometimes too#often times i dont particularly love the classics or 'important books' but at the same time#i still feel like im getting more out of reading them than just grabbing the newest hyped up books that also dont do anything for me#maybe not in a 'wow i loved reading this' way but in like a#'i now have first-hand knowledge of this thing that is so influential / so frequently referenced'#or 'this challenged me and i feel like i did a mental/emotional workout or gave me some new food for thought'#or 'made me more aware of what gaps in my knowledge and reading skills and what my tastes are too'#sort of way...#it really just depends on what you're reading for and why and what you're hoping to get out of it a lot of the time maybe#it's like the homework i give myself to go through these lists that i also intersperse with the stuff i read more just for fun#p
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my desire to make more dnd characters vs the fact that Iâm in no campaigns and donât know when or if Iâll be in a campaign are fighting
#whimsy whispers#I was in the one campaign that I left and like#I am particular about people in that I donât like people so if I were to play in a campaign ideally it would be with people I know and like#because i also do not feel all that comfortable playing with strangers#I have a few irls who play or want to but theyâre in too many campaigns or are people I donât want to play with#example being: my roommate kane plays dnd but has several campaigns theyâre in#their dad them their sister me and my irl have played dnd together before (very loosely calling it dnd)#I would not play with that group of people again namely their dad who dmed#the only person from that group who had any dnd experience was kane#their dad was just A Lot and went out of his way to hurt and torture out characters and I didnât vibe with that like please we donât have to#get hurt to the point of newr death every four minutes just kill me#all the friends I have who play dnd also have far too many campaigns theyâre in rn or just donât live where I do and donât prefer online#campaigns and Iâve been invited to play one campaign by a mutual and Iâve been added to the server (hi if you see this đ)#I just am ;-; about new people and playing with new people#the first legit campaign I played was with people I did not know and while Iâm friends with them now (though rsd says otherwise) I was very#like uncomfortable and uncertain of if I was playing properly or annoying them and tbh I stayed that way up until I left the campaign for#realsies#uhhh anyways I like dnd a lot itâs very fun and I miss playing it and like making dnd characters#but I have too many also#and Iâm not creative enough to make them normal ocs I can hardly do anything with my actual original characters and stories I canât just#make up a whole new story for the characters and I donât do well at repurposing characters either
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