#a lot of the plot probably would have cleared up earlier if it could

[hamofjustice]

the contrast of what the "downer ending but at least you have each other" basegame final cutscene looks like in-engine and what it feels like in-context (the art) is so real

nemona doesn't really know how to recognize or help her new friends deal with grief or trauma, as she's picked up on from the past few times she's been yelled at today, but she does know how to cheer somebody up, so that's what she's gonna try instead

and it works, maybe because they just feel like seeing her in good faith this time after what they just went through together

[ihavethedreamies]

Ride a Tiger | San

Choi San - ATEEZ

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~6.3k

Pairing: Tiger-Hybrid!San x Deer-Hybrid!AFAB!Reader

Genre: Hybrid AU!, Historical/Joseon Era, Reader-Insert, Fluff, Smut, Some Plot, Strangers-to-Married

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Swearing, Kissing, Biting/Marking, Bonding/Mating, Heat/Rut, Pheromones, Breeding Kink, Bath/Water Sex, Unprotected Sex (This is pre-birth control so…), Monster(?)!San (not really, he's a tiger hybrid)

Author's Note: Just so you know, this is NOT Omegaverse, but they do both go into rut/heat. They have animals ears and tails and he's got a spiny tiger cock. This is vaguely set in the Joseon Era of Korea, which is a pretty long time range. It is after the creation of hangul, so its post 1600s about. I only know a lot of this stuff from, and am copying from, historical/period dramas. I know in a lot of ways they aren't completely accurate, especially with women going around and not covering their heads/faces. This is not supposed to be accurate, by any means. Let me know if something is horribly wrong.

At the bottom I will have a guide for all the untranslated words I use, most of which are to do with the clothing they wear.

P.S. Should I be packing? Yes. I did this instead.

P.S.S. If anyone has a picture of San in traditional/historical clothes, could you get it to me with a link or something, I couldn't find anything with Google Images or Pinterest. GOT ONE

"He who rides a tiger is afraid to dismount." ~Chinese Proverb

-> Series Hub <-

🦁 Hongjoong's 🦁

🐕 Yeosang's 🐕

🐻 Jongho's 🐻

I am cross-posting this on Archive and Wattpad. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other sites. Happy reading!

When you had heard thunder rumbling in the distance earlier, you didn't think anything of it. You would be done before the rain came! Nope. You scrambled to gather all of the books you had laid out at your stand, getting them under the surface so they wouldn't get damaged. A giant flash of light followed closely by clap of thunder startled you, and you bleated, your long furry ears pressing back against your hair. Your short tail under your hanbok twitched, slightly rustling the fabric it laid under. Once all of the books you were selling were safe, you grabbed the sseugaechima you had and slung it over your head, stepping back toward the building you were in front of. It was some kind of accessories shop, but the roof awning was quite short and so you barely were able to hide from the downfall underneath it. People scrambled on the street to flee to rain, and the few of them that had coverings continued on their way normally. You peaked out from under your own covering, observing the sky best you could. It was clearly not going to end anytime soon; it was just that time of the year. You had no idea how you were going to get all the books back to your house. Your father didn't mind you working to copy and sell books for the local seller, but he wouldn't let you establish your own business. The seller you worked for also didn't have a store front himself and so the two of you would sell at stalls in the market.

You decided to wait just a bit longer, wondering if the shop owner of the building behind you would let you store the books for a bit. The street had more or less cleared out, but you watched a nobleman come closer. His clothes were nice, even nicer than yours, so his status was probably much higher. The gat he wore was adorned with a silk strap and the beading was clearly finely made as well. As you looked over him, the belt tying his jeogori accentuated his narrow waist and wide shoulders. Your eyes travelled up to his face and he was stunning. But also…he had tiger ears. As he got closer, you caught a glimpse of his long tail. Definitely a tiger. It was incredibly likely that the guy was not just nobility, he was possibly one of the princes. There were like eight of them so that wasn't too unlikely. Despite the downfall, he was simply strolling down the street, almost like there wasn't any rain. Since you were one of the few people still outside, he stopped in front of your seemingly empty stall. He lifted his head and his eyes met yours and you felt them widen. Instinct flared to life, your deer-like genes screaming at the sight of the predatory gaze. It wasn't that he was trying to scare or threaten you, he just simply was a predator hybrid, and you a prey.

"Have you nowhere to go to escape the rain?" He was definitely of high status, with not just tone but the exact words he used. You nodded dumbly, back pressing to the stone foundation of the building behind you. The sseugaechima over your head covered your deer-like ears and your tail was completely hidden by your hanbok.

"I-I have books to sell, and I don't want them to get wet." You pointed under the stall, and at the crate that held your wares. He made an 'ah' of acknowledgement. You wondered why he felt the need to stop at an empty stall.

"You might have to wait a while for the rain to stop." He looked up at the sky. You sighed, knowing he was right.

"Do you want me to help?" He offered and you flinched. Really?

"If you wish, my lord." You bowed a bit and he huffed.

"Shh. Pretend I'm not that important." His smile was much softer than you expected from a tiger. You nodded, not able to speak and he came around and you dragged the crate out, ready to use the sseugaechima to cover it.

"Use this." He corrected, taking the cloth that you had laid out on the wooden stall, and you wondered how frazzled you were that you forgot about it. He tucked the edges of the fabric over the books and easily lifted the crate. You moved around him so you could start to lead him home and you felt tense the whole time. Negating that he was a tiger and you a deer, he was clearly a nobleman, and he was doing physical work…Then again you were technically a noble yourself, and a female at that. Finally getting to the entrance for your family's estate, the door was open already and you waved for one of your father's guards to come and help. The guard took the crate from the tiger, bowing deep in respect and then dashing off to put your wares in your quarters.

"Thank you, my lord." You bowed again, sseugaechima still covering your head.

"San." he added, and your brow furrowed trying to wonder why he was talking about a mountain. Then it hit you, it was his name, he was one of the princes!

"Oh, yes, your highness. (Y/N)." You introduced yourself as well, staying bowed and making sure not to look at his face.

"Get inside and out of the rain Lady (Y/N)." He smiled and your eyes flitted to his gorgeous face. You bowed deeper and then dashed further into the courtyard and booked it to your quarters.

 ~*~*~

Looking up at the clear blue sky, you squinted at the tiny white cloud you could see. It had rained for nearly four days straight and therefore you couldn't set up your stall for that long. You didn't really have need for money since your father was…well, rich, but he didn't just give you pocket money to buy stuff for yourself. It was because you wanted books that weren't normally what noble women would read, you know, like things you could learn from. You had read more than your fair share of romances and adventures from copying them. After you had set out the final pile of books, you looked at your hand and rubbed your finger over the callus you got from holding the brush. Yes, it was painstaking, but you were extremely glad that you could use hangul, it would take ten times longer if you had to use hanja. Right as you got done setting up, two women strolled up and you continued your day.

About an hour before you would get ready to go home, you noted that you had done well for the day and had only about six books left, each a different one. Since it had slowed, you were sitting on a stool, people watching the few that were wandering around. It was nearing the evening mealtime, and you could smell the food from the restaurant down the road on the corner. Your stomach rumbled and you sighed deeply, ears drooping. You started to zone out a bit, watching some birds on the ground, not looking up when someone stopped.

"What is this one like?" the man asked, and you finally looked up so you could see which book he was pointing to.

"Hm, something about a servant seducing a nobleman's son…" You sniffed and looked up at the guy and startled. It was that prince from before. Even if you hadn't carved his face into your memory, it was a bit obvious from his tiger ears right under the brim of his gat. You immediately stood and bowed, and he looked around quickly.

"It's fine, I'm trying to lay low." He waved you off and your eyes caught sight of the black claw-like nails on the end of each finger. You risked glancing up at his face and he was smiling, dimples indenting his cheeks, your eyes focused on his large canine teeth. You felt your tail flick a few times, your skirt ruffling a bit. You felt his eyes moving over your face and your ear flicked at well, nervous under the gaze of his golden colored eyes. You froze when his arm moved, hand coming up and your eyes followed the movement till you couldn't see, and you felt a little tug on your earring.

"These aren't real." He made note of it, and you cringed. You had wanted real jade earrings, but you didn't have enough money, and so you had to settle with those instead. Your father might have bought those for you, but you really wanted them right then and there. You weren't even sure what they were actually made of.

"N-no." You bowed your head and he let them go.

"When do you leave?" His question startled you and your ear flicked again.

"In about an hour."

"Don't leave till I get back." He told you and he headed off further down the market road, back the way he came. You blinked after him, eyes wide, wondering what the heck that was all about.

You did as he asked though and waited for him to return. Glancing up at the sky, you had another ten minutes or so and he still wasn't back. If you didn't know he was one of the princes, you would have left, but he told you to stay. You still hadn't sold the rest of your books despite a few people stopping by, and so you started to put them in the crate. Looking down into the mostly empty container, you looked to the side and saw him coming. Even at a distance you could see his smile when he noticed you were still there, and he jogged to meet you sooner.

"You stayed."

"Well, you said to." You shrugged, not looking at his face. Part of it was because of his status, but it was also because he was so handsome. Too handsome, actually. You wondered if all the princes were so. You watched as he pulled something out from the interior pocket of his jeogori, a small but detailed wooden box coming out. He held it out to you, and you hesitated to grab it.

"Go ahead." He waved his arm a bit and you gently took it, lifting the hinged lid. You gasped, looking at the earrings inside. They looked nearly identical to yours, but they were obviously real jade.

"W-what?" You had to look at his face then, see what his expression was for some sort of explanation. His cheeks were a tiny bit red, and his own ear flicked some and you could see his long striped-tail swaying behind him.

"Your Lord Bak's daughter, from the Saseum Clan?"

"Y-yes?" He smiled a bit bashfully, looking down as he swung his leg around, drawing a circle with his foot.

"Could you take me to talk to him?" You nodded jerkily, a little shocked at the request. Before you could grab the crate, he took it, and you balled up the cloth from the stall and shoved it on top of the books. You walked next to him as you headed toward your home, feeling a bit weird, like you should be following him. You had never directly interacted with a prince, but you still knew the basic rules. Don't look at his face, walk behind him, don't be physically higher than him, speak formally… Yes, he was trying to lay low, but that didn't change who he was. You wondered who was genuinely ignorant enough to not know who he was since he was so obviously a tiger hybrid. When you showed up to the house with the same man carrying your book crate as the time before, your father's guard was a little skeptical. He still took the crate from the prince- San, his name was San, you remembered.

"Could you please get Lord Bak?" He asked and the guard's gaze flicked to you, and you gave a short nod. As he went to do so, you stood with the prince awkwardly, swaying just a bit so your skirt twirled a bit around you. Your ears were twitching so much that your old, fake earring jingled. Your arm twisted around your back so your hand could tug on the end of your braid, a nervous habit.

"(Y/N)? Who is this?" Your father came around the corner, strolling down the stone-paved path toward both of you. He glanced at San, and you cringed slightly at how much smaller your father was than him. His jeongjagwan was modified to fit around his antlers, only that put him at the same height as the prince.

"I am Prince San, Lord Bak. I have come to ask permission to court your daughter for marriage." You balked at this, turning to gape at him directly. Your head turned back to your father whose gaze had sharpened. You knew that there was a lot of noblemen that had brought their sons as potential suitors, and your parents had turned down every single one. Would San be different? You were lucky that your parents did take into consideration your opinion on most things.

"You are the fifth eldest, no?"

"Yes."

"Are your parents aware of your request?"

"Not yet, though I have been given more freedom since I am far down in the line of succession." It seemed the men were having another conversation through their eyes.

"Is that why you would be allowed to marry a prey hybrid?" The prince faltered for a reply, it seemed he hadn't even taken that part into consideration.

"I will need to request an audience with his highness." Your father answered and San seemed to deflate.

"What do you think of this?" Your father turned to look at you and you cast a nervous glance at the tiger next to you. You knew that you would have very little say in reality, and you wished you lived about a thousand years earlier. You know, before Confucianism ruined feminism. Though, the prince seemed to be very sweet, and he was extremely attractive. It could be way worse.

"If my lord finds it auspicious." You bowed your head a bit and your father hummed.

"Why don't you go back inside, (Y/N)?" The request was more of a command than a suggestion and you scurried off to do so. As you entered, your mother came down the hall and you met her.

"Geez, mother…" You led her to spin around, and she did, though with a confused look. Adjusting her binyeo so it was setting in her bun evenly, then she turned back to face you.

"Were you speaking with someone?" She peaked around you so she could look out the window, but she couldn't see.

"A suitor…" You told her and her long, furry ears perked up.

"I shall see then," she nudged past you and went to go out and you huffed a sigh, heading back to your room.

"(Y/N), your father requests your presence in the courtyard." A handmaiden came to summon you and you got up from your floor desk to follow her out. Your father was not alone, Prince San standing with him. It was only three days prior that your father had an audience with the king, and since the prince was there…

"Yes, father?" You came out and stopped before them, bowing at the waist some.

"It seems that it was auspicious…" Your father tossed a glance at the prince, and you looked up at both of them. Your gaze went to the tiger's handsome face, and he was beaming.

~*~*~

The next few weeks were a blur and before you knew it you had gone through the marriage ceremony, and you were moved into his own little palace that belonged to the greater palace grounds. Since he was one of the younger princes you shared a palace, whereas the queen and the crown princess had their own places. There was a place as well for any consorts that the royals might have as well, but it seemed San requested you to live with him. Honestly, you would think it quite impersonal for a husband and wife not to share a room and bed each night, but that seemed to be the norm for royalty. When you learned that even princes sometimes had consorts, you got a little insecure. What if you weren't enough?

"What's wrong, (Y/N)?" San's voice caught your attention and you turned to him as he entered. You had been standing in the middle of the room, just looking over everything, the room fairly barren compared to the overall size.

“I was just…” You stopped, trying to think of how to word it. He hummed for you to continue.

“I was just trying to soak in everything I’ve been told to learn.” You lied, not ready to bring the subject up quite yet. Your head was pounding from all the new information you had been pumped full with and you were nervous about messing up. Luckily since you were a noble already, you knew most of the rules and practices, but you were going to be under a bit harsher scrutiny. Not a bit, a lot. Your head felt strange, having your long braid looped up into a chignon braid, the jade binyeo holding it up making it feel heavier. The cheopji sitting on the middle of the top of your head was heavy as well, since it was gold. Your hanbok was of much higher quality and you felt nervous about getting it messy or torn somehow.

"(Y/N)?" He called your name again and you snapped out of your tumbling thoughts.

"Why did your eldest brother step down as heir?" You finally remembered the question you had wanted to ask him, before your insecurities started to spiral. You had heard some of the other women talking about it but didn't want to rely on gossip.

"Hm. The woman he fell in love with was too low in status. He abdicated so he could marry her. That's why Hongjoong is the crown prince."

"I see. The eldest is Seonghwa, yes?" San hummed and you sighed, racking your brain for all the names you had learned. There were too many. Finally, you looked over San…your husband. Just the thought made you a bit giddy. Even though it hadn't been very long since you two met, maybe about two months, you had endeared to each other. He was so sweet, contrasted greatly with the normal thoughts of how tigers were. Then again, he was a hybrid, not a full tiger. He was in a much different ensemble than what you met him in, more princely clothes. He didn't have any kind of headwear on then, just his manggeon and you could see the streak of orange and white in his hair to the right of the center of his head.

"Are you nervous?" he asked and your ears flicked. Not really sure what he was talking about, you just nodded. You were, but you weren't for sure in what way he meant. He stepped forward and his hands found your waist, your own landing on his chest. San pulled you closer and your ears pressed back against your head. Your nervous habit of tugging on your braid was going to have to be replaced since it was no longer hanging down your back. You let out a noise similar to a bleat when he hauled you even closer, his nose nuzzling against your ear.

"We get to make it official." he whispered and what he was getting at finally hit you. The consummation of the marriage. You were nervous, and a bit worried as well. You were told that predators had a much more aggressive…mating process. Plus, apparently, tiger hybrids were much like real tigers, and had 'barbs' on their… You were in your own thoughts; you could say whatever; they had barbs on their cocks. Plus, you were a good 30 centimeters shorter than your husband and he was just big overall. Your hands on his chest fisted, digging your fingers into the fabric and you squeaked when the claws on his hands dug into your own clothes enough you felt them against your hips. You shuddered as his slightly rough tongue ran up the side of your throat. Your heart rate spiked, nearly taking your breath away, some primal part inside of you freaking out.

"Your high-"

"It's just us, call me San."

"San, I-"

"Your highness!" A eunuch called from the other side of the door, and you pulled back. He reluctantly let you remove yourself from him and you turned away from the door as he turned toward it. He allowed the servant in, and you were informed that the bathing chambers were ready. After the eunuch stepped out and the handmaidens were waiting outside patiently, San went back to you.

"Why don't we be efficient and take a bath together?" He had wrapped his arms around you from behind and you were sure he felt your tail wag nervously even through the layers of fabric you both had on.

"C-can we?"

"Hm. I don't see why not. Not exactly traditional, but…I can get away with a lot." He chuckled and you felt it rumble through his chest pressed to your back. When he finally pulled back, you turned to him, face warm and he grinned.

"So cute." He nuzzled your ear again and then came back, leaning in and pressing his lips to yours. It was your first kiss as a married couple, not that you hadn't stolen a few leading up to that point. This one was different though and he nearly growled as he deepened the kiss. You squeaked, it was like he was trying to eat you and the obvious comparison was not lost on you. His tongue was rough against yours when it wiggled into your mouth and your head swam when his large canines clacked against your much smaller ones. When his lips let yours go, a trail of saliva connected your mouths and you let out a shaky breath.

"Go with the handmaidens and get ready, I'll join after." San pressed another kiss to your cheek and allowed you to leave his embrace. You stopped in front of the door, looking back at him again as the servant on the other side opened the door. He smiled warmly and you bit your lip giddily and then followed the maids to the bathing chamber. They carefully removed your garments and took your hair down, so it was still just in a braid, you didn't need to wash it yet. You were left in a simple white sokchima, not ready to be fully disrobed since San was still to come in. You heard his own servants getting him ready in the adjoining room and as soon as your maids left, the side door opened. He stepped in, closing it behind him and you gasped, eyes widening. Speaking of wide…his shoulders were so broad, especially compared to his waist. It was fairly obvious even when he was clothed, but right then he only had a pair of white sokbaji. His torso was toned as well and your mouth, still hanging open, started to water. Well, not really, but you were close. Feeling very small and delicate under his intense gaze, it softened when he noticed your shoulders were tense.

"Come here." San cooed, coming to meet you halfway and you let him hug you again, not able to help yourself placing your hands on his bare chest. His skin was smooth, and his muscles were hard and your thighs clenched as you practically stroked him. He chuckled and your eyes flitted up to his, ears flopping they were twitching so hard. His tail was sticking out the back of his pants, swaying slightly, his ears drooping just a bit.

"Can I take this off, (Y/N)?" The prince's voice was quiet but deep in your ear and his hands gripped the back of your sokchima.

"Y-yes." You did feel the amount of clothes was fairly unequal, but your final garment being removed would leave you completely bare. Shivering a tad as he pulled the tie open, the straps of the undergarment fell from your shoulders, then the rest of the fabric onto the floor. Your arms went to cover yourself, but his hands stopped you. Your face was hot, almost on fire and you could meet his gaze, ears no longer twitching but pressed back hard against your head. Your short tail was waving back and forth quickly, no longer impeded by any fabric over it.

"You're beautiful." San told you as he made sure you wouldn't cover yourself and he stepped back a tad, fingers going to the tie of his sokbaji. Your tongue ran nervously over your bottom lip, eyes immediately zooming in on his hands. He noticed your gaze's direction and he huffed a laugh but continued with his task. Your arm wrapped around your back, tugging on the end of your braid, now free of the pin holding it up that showed your wedded status. It was like time slowed down as he lifted the waistband up and over his half-hard cock and the fabric pooled on the floor as well and your eyes widened almost comically. You had never seem a man naked in person, only having seen what were basically medical diagrams in books. All you knew was that they probably weren't all that big, and he wasn't even fully hard. The little spines at the base and head of his cock were not quite like you imagined, unlike the barbed end of a fishhook you imagined. Your cunt clenched hard, and you swallowed hard as he stepped closer.

"Here." He grabbed your hand with his and brought it toward him. You both gasped when your small, warm hand wrapped around his cock, and you bit your lip as you pumped up with your fingers wrapped around him. You wondered if it would hurt with how thick he was, your fingers not even meeting, and you pondered what the flesh would feel like on your tongue.

"(Y/N)?" His amused voice pulled you from your thoughts and your head had to tip back to look him in the eye with how close you were. A drop splatted onto the floor, and you realized what it was when your slick thighs rubbed against each other. A rumble rose in San's chest and his nose nuzzled over your ear again, then down your throat and he inhaled deeply. The rumble picked up and his warm spiced scent grew stronger, and you felt his cock harden fully in your grip.

"Let's get in." You whined a bit in disappointment when he pulled back, but he took your hand and led you down the little steps into the water. It was nice and hot, but not too much so, flower petals floating in the water and carrying with them their sweet aroma. He sat on the bench that sat inside the large wooden tub and he hauled you into his lap, legs straddling his lap. You watched the wavy image of his tail through the water, your tail not able to wag as hard with the water resistance. As you rested on his lap, his hard cock pressed to your tummy and you pressed into it more, making him groan.

"You need to stop doing that if we're going to wait." His tone was a bit harder, his brow furrowing after your next press closer to him.

"Wait for what?" You gave him a coy look. You knew it would be "proper" to wait till you were actually in a bed to…bed each other, but…

"(Y/N), love, don't you want your first time to be-" He grunted when you leaned in, your breasts pressing into his chest, and he had to close his eyes to think.

"San, I don't care if you take me here, now, or in that bed. What matters is it's you." You rested your head on his shoulder, nose nuzzling his neck, your head feeling foggy as you breathed in his scent. You heard the water sloshing before you felt anything, but his strong arms had wrapped around you, lifting you up a bit. His lips crashed to yours as he maneuvered you, only pulling away so he could flip you around. Your back pressed to his chest and he had you rest your knees over his so he could hold your legs open. Even with the water of the bath, your slick was still stuck to your folds, and he groaned as he ran two fingers over you. Your whole body jerked, thighs twitching at the little bit of friction, already sensitive. San's arm held you to him as his index finger breached your entrance, your slick easily letting him in. You had noticed earlier that he had filed his claw-like nails down to blunt them, and now you knew why. You had expected a bit of a sting at his finger's entrance, but you only felt pleasure. You had…tested on yourself before, but his fingers were longer and thicker, and your head fell back over his shoulder as a second joined the first. He grinned, watching your cunt swallow his fingers, his tail sliding through the water to wrap over your thigh, holding it to his. San ground the palm of his hand against your clit and your gummy walls clenched around the digits inside and he heard you whine right into his ear. Under normal circumstances, your flitting ears and tail would tickle, but he could use them to tell just how you were reacting.

"S-San!" You gasped, the pleasure he was bringing over you rising fast and your blunt nails dug lightly into his arm where you gripped it.

"Good girl, (Y/N). Fall apart for me." His prompting words led you to your climax and he rumbled as your cunt clenched and pulsed as your orgasm hit. When the little twitches finally died, your body slumped into his, he removed his fingers and helped move you once more. You faced him again and your nails dug harder into his shoulders as he held you over him, the head of his cock rubbing through your folds.

"Ready, princess?" He smirked a bit at the pet-name, though it was completely and officially accurate now.

"Please." You leaned down and kissed the corner of his mouth and down his neck. San grunted and your grip on him tightened as he pressed you down, fat cock finally breaching your entrance. It stung, burned in the best way though, the rubbery spines of his cock flicking against your clit as he finally got the head all the way in. The rest of his dick followed a bit easier, but each little increment deeper, the spines rubbed against the ridges of your cunt. He was only halfway in when you threw your head back, breath harsh, chest heaving at the sensation of him splitting you open. Your cunt spasmed and pulsed, you were already close, heat pooling and growing in your groin and lower stomach. Your flowery scent filled the air even more than the petals in the water, the pleasure and pheromones your husband were letting off spurring you into a semi-heat. Immediately, your cunt slicked even further, the thick wet not able to be washed away by the water. As he started to bottom out, the spines at the base of his cock flicked over your clit and against the folds of your pussy and you shuddered hard as your groin met his. San barely shifted and that was all it took, your second orgasm hitting quicker and harder than the first. His growl rumbled through his chest, you and the room as your cunt clenched hard around him.

"Fuck-" You swore softly and hearing the vulgar word leave your soft, sweet lips made him groan.

"Are you okay, love?"

"J-just give me a second." You were still shuddering in his arms, tiny waves still pulsing through your cunt.

"I can't last much longer." He warned and you shifted once yourself, pressing your knees harder into the bench of the bath and you nodded jerkily. You were prepared…well, you thought you were. San's arms around you tightened, almost to hold you in place, and he lifted you off his cock some, the pumped up his hips, fucking back into you deep. Your head flew back so hard he was a bit concerned, but he continued his thrusts, not even pulling out halfway before filling you once more. The water sloshed around you, your tail wagging hard through the water, his own wrapped around your right thigh.

"Shit-" He grunted, pressing you to him and standing. You yelped at his movement but then he lightly rested you against the rounded edge of the wooden tub. He reached past your head for a towel and balled it under your head.

"San?" You didn't get an answer to your prompting tone, and your breath hitched as he hauled your legs up to wrap around his narrow waist. One hand rested against your thigh to hold your leg up, the other taking your hand from his shoulder and lifting it up above your head. His fingers linked with yours, holding your hand tightly as his lips hovered over yours.

"Hold on, princess." He more or less warned, and your other hand flew to the narrow wooden column near you, barely getting a hold on it before he snapped his hips, relentlessly barreling his cock into you, head battering your back walls. You let out a choking sound, followed by unintelligible whimpers and babbles, your next orgasm rising already. With each thrust, he ground his hips down, the spines at the base of his cock teasing your clit and he didn't even slow down as your third orgasm crashed over you. If anything, it made him go harder, the water around his legs sloshing hard. He was full on growling at that point, tongue running over his long canines, a drop of saliva falling past his lips and into your mouth, gaping open, drool dripping from the side. Your eyes rolled back as his pace seemed to pick up, the thrusts somewhat shallower but even harder.

"Fucking hell, love, you're taking me so well." San rumbled, watching his fat cock split you open, the shine of your slick and cum on his cock made his head swim.

"Want me to cum inside? Fuck my cub into you?" He laughed cockily; eyes fixed on the joining of your bodies. You both weren't even sure how easy it would be for you to conceive, and he honestly didn't care if you couldn't. He was so far down the line of succession himself, let alone his kids. Though, if it was harder, that just meant he could try all the harder.

"Please! San, want your cum!" You whimpered, neither of you caring anymore if the servants heard the filth spilling from your mouths.

"Gonna make you my mate too, my wife…" He growled and his thrusts grew unsteady, his nose nuzzled your neck again and your breath hitched as the sharp ends of his canines met your skin. Your blunt nails dug into the wood of the column, hand gripping his hard as he finally fell over the edge himself. His teeth sank in as he came, white, hot spurts of cum coating your walls and filling your womb. Your orgasm helped him ride out his, core gripping him hard, eagerly drinking in his seed. You felt like you almost blacked out, brain clearing some as he stopped, licking over the bite wound in your shoulder. He pulled back enough to look down at your worn-out body, face red and splotchy but still so cute, so pretty. And you were all his.

The next few minutes passed with a blur; all of the servants being called to leave the hallway leading from the bath to your bedchambers. You only realized you had changed location when the still-wet skin of your back hit the silk sheets, and San was filling you back up. You had nothing to hold onto, so you white knuckled the sheet of the futon under you. Your legs were thrown over San’s wide shoulders, ankles by his ears, and animalistic noises were leaving him. He was salivating like a hungry…well, tiger, growls turning into near roars. You weren’t sure how many more orgasms he fucked out of you before he filled your womb with even more of his seed. Your mind was nearly gone, only little squeaks leaving you as you flipped you over, hips raised in the air, chest pressed to the bed below. His giant cock, with all those blasted spines, carved into you, and your cunt clenched hard, molding to him. You were both a mess already, the bath having been nearly negated. Sweat dripped from his brow onto your bare back, a thick mix of your releases coating both your thighs and forming a puddle below. A dark stain from the tears caused by the overwhelming sensations and drool formed below your cheek. Even with his claws blunted, they tore into the bedding some as he leaned over you, hips pumping hard, the slap of skin muffled by his grunts.

“One more for me, princess. Gonna get you pregnant, keep you stuffed full till you do.” He chuckled, pace stuttering, and your vision spotted as he came once more, squirts and sprays of your own release soaking his groin further. Soon, all that could be heard was both of your panting breaths and you were having trouble staying awake, all strength leaving your body. That was when something terrifying hit you…he was still hard.

hanbok - traditional/historical clothing, most people think of women's dresses, but men's clothes were called this as well. sseugaechima - this is the extra-skirt looking garment women would wear over the heads. gat - this is the hat that noblemen would wear, more specifically the ones that were black and made of mesh. jeogori - the top/shirt part of a hanbok. hangul - the Korean alphabet we use today. hanja - the old Korean characters derived from Chinese used prior to Hangul's creation. jeongjagwan - a type of gat that noblemen would wear, it looks much like a pagoda. binyeo - the long pin that would hold a woman's bun up, mostly used for married women. cheopji - a hair accessory worn by women, looks similar to a headband with a clip or pin in the middle. manggeon - the mesh-like headband men wore to hold their hair in place sokchima - basically a dress/skirt like under-garment. sokbaji - pants-like under-garment, mostly worn by women actually...

-> Series Hub <-

Master-Master List

ATEEZ Master List

[teddiesworldd]

muffled moans and whiskey kisses.

is it morally okay to fuck a customer? (2.4k words)

a\n: thank you for all the love on my first posts! i hope you love this one just as much! also, if it wasn't made clear, ghost is wearing a mask with a cut-out for his mouth. enjoy!

pairing: ghost x female waitress!reader

tags/warnings: nsfw mdni!!, just a regular ol' bathroom hookup with the biggest guy you've ever seen, porn with plot, hickeys, a little choking if you squint

it was one of those shifts where the hours just dragged on and on. the day felt like it was never going to end as you wiped down another table and laid out the silverware neatly on top of a napkin. your mind wandered off somewhere else, but you snapped back to reality when you saw 4 huge guys walk through the pub doors and stroll over to the bar. one looked a little older than the others with a thick blonde moustache and cream bucket hat. two of them were a little shorter, a scruffy mohawk on one and the other with tanned skin covered by a blue jacket. however, it was the fella trailing behind them who made your hairs stand on end. he was absolutely giant. he was wearing a tight black t-shirt that showed off the thick, red scars which ran down his massive arms. and just to add to it, his whole face, except for his eyes and mouth, was covered by a worn-out skull mask. you realised you were staring when his dark eyes met yours and you shifted your glance back down to the table you were tending to. you could feel his eyes burning onto you as he walked past.

it was only when all 4 men were seated that you realised your colleague was still out the back and you'd have to go over and make their drinks for them yourself.

no biggie.

you make drinks for people all the time.

you desperately tried to calm your own nerves as you walked over to the bar, suddenly aware of how tight your clothes felt. the sweat on your palms. the loose hairs that had fallen from your ponytail and were now tickling your neck.

not people like this.

you were a confident person most of the time, but this skull-face guy was intimidating as hell. and the way he looked at you like a piece of meat earlier, like he wanted to eat you up. yikes. you pushed the little door open and walked behind the bar, smoothing down your waitressing apron and putting on your best customer-service smile.

"what can i get for you?"

the first three were relatively nice. the older chap was quite charming, really, making polite small talk and asking about your day. the guy with the mohawk tried cracking a few jokes which made you cringe a little but it was sweet regardless. and you noticed the military badge on the blue jacket of the third man, which made a lot of sense as the bar was right next to the military base. you had soldiers and the likes come in often, trying to drink away the stress of their day. but these guys were different. high-ranking, probably. after you had served the three, you moved down towards the fourth and asked the same question. it was only now that you realised how dark his eyes actually were. they were like dark pools of chocolate. like an empty street at night. and his pretty blonde lashes were like the stars. how could someone so big and scarred be pretty? you wondered.

"a whiskey, please."

his voice was so deep, and he had a bit of a manchester twang to his words. something about him, though frightening, was sort of attractive. the way the corners of his mouth turned up when he spoke to you. the way his huge hands rested on the bar, twiddling and fidgeting with his thick fingers and rings like he was nervous. the way he looked at you said otherwise. you wondered what those hands would feel like on you. in you. he didn't break eye contact with you the whole time he ordered, licking his lips with a sparkle in his eye. you poured the drink, then turned back to him and placed it in front of him. he thanked you and sipped it slowly.

the men stayed for a while, chatting about their recent missions and such, laughing and ordering more drinks. but the masked guy kept looking at you, sometimes at your face, sometimes at where your flesh spilled out over the buttons of your white shirt. he wasn't exactly trying to hide it either, the perv. you couldn't help but look at him too, shamelessly. he even caught you a few times looking at the way his muscles moved as he brought the glass up to his lips.

when he excused himself and walked over to the bathrooms, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, the tension between the two of you was almost suffocating. however, this was the complete opposite of a break from him.

he stood in front of the door like, well, like a ghost. his finger beckoning you to follow him. you questioned your life up to this point and scanned around the pub, it was pretty late on a weekday so it was completely empty except for the group at the bar. you put down the glass you were polishing, took off your apron and excused yourself to the three men who remained in front of you. luckily, none of them payed much attention, going straight back to their conversation.

you know what he wanted from you, of course, it wasn't like he was bringing you into the bathroom for a conversation. but still, a part of you just couldn't believe what was about to happen. he was probably a whole foot taller than you, and twice as wide.

he must be absolutely packing. he'd probably spilt me open.

you tried not to think about it.

you pushed the door quietly, your manicured nails tapping gently when they made contact. you barely even pushed the thing open before he was pulling you by the wrist into the nearest cubical, and locking the door behind him. he didn't say a word. he just pressed his lips to yours. the kiss got heated pretty quickly. you could taste the whiskey on his tongue. the way your mouths fitted together - it was like you were made for each other. it felt so perfect. so addictive.

he pulled away and moved his head into the crook of your neck, kissing and sucking and leaving dark red marks across your collarbone. you couldn't help the moan that left your lips, earning a quiet "shhhh, lovie" between kisses. his voice was gorgeous. he soon reached your cleavage, planting bites and kisses all over. there was something so refreshing about him. most guys you'd been with didn't care about any of this stuff, they just wanted to be done as quickly as possible. not him, he took his time marking you, like you were something rare and precious. like you were something special. he moved his hand up to undo the buttons of your shirt, looking up at you with lust filled eyes.

"do you want this? hm? do you want me?" he growled.

you couldn't believe he was teasing you already. of course you did. "mhmm" you nodded frantically, trying to speed him up by undoing your buttons yourself, but he stopped you at the first one.

"ah ah, no. be patient, doll. tell me. tell me you want me." he asked nicely this time, waiting for your response.

"please," you whined out, a little more desperately as you intended, trying to retain a little bit of your dignity. you were still fully clothed, you didn't want to seem too needy. yet.

after hearing your response, he placed another kiss to your chest and started undoing the buttons. so slowly. it was like torture. you placed you small hand onto the back of his head, guiding him down, which he must of liked because it made him look up at you with the most devilish glint in his eye. oh, this man was about to ruin you. he hooked his fingers into the waist of your skirt, pulling it all the way off and stuffing it into the pocket of his jeans. what a gentleman, he didn't want your clothes getting all dirty on the floor of the men's bathroom. gross. after spending a second admiring your pretty lace panties and matching bra, he asked you, "you always wear underwear like this, love? what a little slut you are." something about the way he spoke to you made you absolutely wet. he looked gorgeous at this angle, knelt down in front of you, shoulders broad, inches away from your heat. part of you wanted to just pull his face into you, but he was definitely much stronger than you, so unfortunately you'd just have to wait it out.

he kissed the inside of your thighs, then over your clothed clit, making you beg for him again. then he pulled your underwear to the side, finally pressing his mouth to your soaked pussy. he felt amazing. he must be pretty experienced because he knew exactly how, when and where to make you whine and pant at every movement. the way his tongue swirled in little circles around your clit made your head spin. and the way he looked at you, never breaking eye contact, he was intoxicating. you knew if you made too much noise then his friends would definitely hear you - the walls were pretty thin. but it was so hard when he was sending you towards the edge so quickly. and when he pushed two of his thick fingers inside of you, you had to cover your mouth to keep yourself quiet. he curled it just right to hit the perfect spot inside you over and over. just his hand was stretching you out, and hitting spots that had never been hit by your own fingers. you knew you weren't going to last much longer at the brutal pace he was moving inside of you. you hooked your leg over his huge shoulder, and when he started sucking you could feel the knot in your stomach twisting. he knew this too and when you clenched around his fingers he pulled away, leaving you a panting, sweaty mess and depriving you of your orgasm.

"don't worry, doll. i'm not done with you yet," he said, standing up and turning you around so your chest was against the wall with your back to him. "want you to come on my cock, not on my fingers."

you could hear him undoing his belt and his cargo pants dropping to the floor behind you. he grabbed your hips and pulled your ass back towards him, lining you up nicely. you just knew it was going to be the biggest you'd ever taken. his tip prodded at your entrance, and he pushed slowly into you. he was huge. you hissed as he pushed inside, and he immediately stopped, checking if you're okay before carrying on, splitting you open. once you had adjusted, he started moving at a more regular pace, fucking you deep and slow. your tight pussy gripping his dick like a vice. he managed to find that spongey spot inside of you pretty quickly, hitting it over and over and causing you to let out a pornographic moan. he brought his hand over your mouth in response, muffling your slutty noises.

"is that good, lovie? yeah? you like it when i fuck you like that?" he groaned into your ear, bending over to kiss your neck and bare shoulder.

your eyes rolled back in response, bouncing back into him, which he didn't appreciate very much. with a deep grunt, the hand that remained on your hip tightened its grip, keeping you in place as he pounded into you. your head fell back into his chest in pure ecstasy, the pleasure being almost overwhelming. you could feel like knot building inside you again, getting close to your orgasm once more. his hand moved from his hip down between your legs, rubbing your clit just right, causing you to shriek into his hand. your legs began to shake as you were hurtling towards your climax. when you finally came, he had to move his hand from your clit to under your waist, holding you upright as your orgasm rocked through you. you cried out into his palm, tears forming in the corners of your eyes from the overwhelming pleasure.

when you finally fell back down to earth, he brought you to your knees and pushed his huge cock into your mouth to chase his own orgasm. it was the first time you'd managed to get a proper look at it. it was the perfect shade of baby pink, your own juices gleaming on his tip. a thick vein ran down the shaft all the way to his firm, full balls. he had a decent amount of blonde hair that trailed upwards towards his bellybutton and disappeared under his t-shirt. you happily took him into you mouth, taking him as far as you could and stroking the rest with your hand. his hand found its way around your neck and squeezed gently, feeling so small in his massive hand. you looked up at him and noticed how he was biting his lip, trying to keep himself quiet. the way his eyes rolled back when you chocked on the sheer size of his dick was so hot that it almost made you want to turn back around and ask for round two. but before you knew it, he was holding your ponytail in his fist and thick ropes of cum were filling your cheeks and running down your throat. his grip on your neck and hair tightened as he let out a grunt, which was loud enough for the boys at the bar to hear for sure, but you didn't care anymore. this man was truly something else.

he helped you get up, dressed and clean afterwards, returning your skirt and carefully wiping your mouth with his thumb. he smiled at you as he did this, telling you how pretty you were and how he just had to fuck you. you went back into the pub one after the other, as to not raise suspicion. but your makeup was all ruined and he had sort of a pornstar sweat-glow to him, so it was pretty obvious regardless. he finished the last mouthful of his whiskey and left with his boys.

it was only when you'd cleaned up their glasses and locked up the pub that you realised you didn't ask for his number. or even his name, for god's sake.

but you were sure that this wouldn't be the last time that giant of a man would stumble in for a drink on a wednesday afternoon.

˚✧. thank you for reading!

˚✧. please reblog to support me <3

˚✧. dividers by @ saradika-graphics and @ si-eunnis

✎ masterlist

💌 send a request

[metranart]

“I must admit you picked a pretty one, real pretty girl—” Dabi's grin only grew as Hawks’s scowl deepened. “—Let me know more about your new pet, Keigo. I usually can’t shut you up,” he smirked, reaping some humor from the nasty situation. 

ft. Hawks centered, Hawks x reader, Slight! Bakugo x reader, Slight! Dabi x reader (in future chaps)

Hawks x UA Student! Reader (Part 12)

-

Warning tag: obsessed! Hawks, possessive! Hawks, naive! student reader, violation of trust, dubious consent, mating cycles, rut response, obsessive behavior, uncontrollable thirst for reader, manipulation, forced, thigh riding, hormonal minds out of control, sexual content, first time, cock riding, teenage fuck, Dabi's toxically interested in you, Bakugo bestie yet secretly inlove wit you, love confessions, cock-drunk, Hawks trying to be good but failing miserably, gaslighting, HEAVY plot, lots of smut.

-

“She doesn’t seem particularly special,” The leader of the League of Villains had hissed. Red, bloodshot eyes set on the wicked set of photos provided by Dabi, even though he wanted to look particularly uninterested in the material, he couldn’t stop flipping through each photo over, and over again. 

“Don´t tell me,” Mr. Compress peeked from behind Shigaraki’s shoulder to have a glimpse at the material, “—does Hawks have some kind of fucked-up crush on her?”

Dabi merely smirked, shrugging his shoulders. “Don´t know, don´t care.” 

Dabi was Hawks’ contact with the league, since he had introduced him to the group with some ‘I wanna change sides bullshit’, -which no one really believed. 

Since that day, the fire-bender used to tail the winged hero to keep an eye on him, what was his surprise when he found him raping you in a dark alley, after no less than having saved you of a Nomu, earlier that same day.  

His cellphone wasn’t the best but the photos he took were quality, clear and concise. 

Dabi didn’t even have to worry about being found out since Hawks was so smitten by you— Dabi could have been sitting on a garbage can across, and he wouldn’t have noticed.

So, he printed a few copies of this magnificent evidence against the prominent hero and went down to business. 

Shigaraki finally finished browsing the pictures, to glance up at him. 

“If you don’t care—why are you showing us these?” he fanned the photos on his hand. “Do you get off like this, you, sick staple-face?” The silver-haired leader wondered, knowing that Dabi’s actions always had a second agenda.

“What I get off with isn’t your business, crusty. But I thought it would be proof enough to trust the heroic birdie’s change of sides.” He shared, calmly. Uncrossing his arms from his chest to fish his hands inside his pockets, lazily leaning against the nearest wall.  

That had caught Shigaraki’s attention. 

“It could have been consensual….” The silver-haired suggested, holding in his hand a photo where Hawks was devouring your mouth while nailing you against the cold concrete of the wall – your little hands grabbing at his shoulders for sweet support while his held you up by the hips, way too greedily, you looked cock-drunk. 

Turning it around, showed it to the rest for a more unanimous opinion.

“She’s so pretty, like a cute little doll~” Toga shared dreamily, slowly leaning closer to snatch the photo from Shigaraki who effortlessly dodged her.

“Oh! That’s not correct, they are in public, how naughty! I can’t see…” Twice looked away to immediately spin around and look back to the photo, “if they did it like that, it’s because they like to be seen… Hawks is such a dog…” his other personality kicked in, starting a hilarious fight which, everyone ignored, except for toga who constantly giggled.

“The girl looks way too naïve to be doing that consensually,” Spinner judged without giving the photo a second look, his sense of justice feeling sickened by the fake winged hero’s actions.  

“-And on top of that, she looks way too young…. probably closer to Toga’s age, don’tcha agree?” Mr. Compress stated, fascinated by the lewd images.

They could probably sell them and aside from making some good money, they would dismantle the reputation of Hawks, Mr. Number Two Hero in the country. But why would they want to do that to a possible fellow villain?  

He couldn’t help but be… intrigued.

“I say we let him into the league, this…” Mr. Compress tapped at the photo with his finger, “is a despicable act of rampant carnality against a minor, and consensual or not, it’s still a crime.” 

Dabi agreed by nodding his head once. 

“Looks like it~” Toga agreed as well and soon Twice did too. “That little birdy is a bad birdy.”

Spinner grunted an affirmation, and Shigaraki sighed annoyed before announcing. “We’ll give him a chance, now he can join our meetings and some plans…. But he’s not part of the League yet, he’s on trial.”

Everyone agreed, and Shigaraki glanced at warp user who calmly approached. 

“Kurogiri, do me a favor and inform Hawks of our decision— and personally deliver these to him,” he handed over the photos and before releasing them, said, “Tell him it’s our warm welcome gift to the League of Villains.”

Kurogiri nodded, to then disappear in the back. 

Shigaraki scratched at his neck staring at Dabi. “You are still his contact, charred face. As your oldest acquaintance as you presented him…. -If ends up betraying us, you alone must kill him.”

Dabi entertained Shigaraki’s lofty order with sadistic patience before untroubled replied a short. 

“Noted.”

-

Meanwhile, Hawks was a mess, a beating uncomfortable mess. 

Slowly his wounds were healing, even though the encounter with Dabi had been a couple of days ago. Although he still paraded with a broken lip, traces of burns on his clavicle, torso and arms. His hero suit far from salvable, all scorched and stained with dried cum, —even part of his eyebrow had turned to ashes, not to mention, how affected his wings were, he was barely able to fly.

The blond sighed, tiredly.

Having to sneak through the window of his own agency so as not to arouse suspicion among his subordinates was beginning to bother him...... —he shouldn't have gotten carried away, he knew Dabi only wanted to annoy him, enflame his blood just out of sadistic entertainment.... Yet, he was stupid enough to allow him. 

In the last couple of days, instead of patrolling he had been sitting in his office, wasting precious time just analyzing every little detail of what had transpired between you and him…. how his rut ​​had gotten out of control thanks to your quirk. 

Whatever your fucking quirk was had a ridiculous effect on his instinctual responsiveness. Everything had felt good—fucking amazing, mind-blowing, life-changing—though right now, sober and away from your numbing effect, Keigo couldn’t decide if was just your quirk deluding him into thinking your pussy was the best he’d ever had, or if it really was. 

NO! Deep inside he knew it, YOU really were just that fucking incredible. 

His instincts didn’t lie. Actually, it was taking him a monumental effort not to fly to the UA dorms and snatch you away, back to him, safe by his side. 

It’s only been three days away from you and he was already feeling hopeless. Hawk’s mind wandered back to you... and to that stupid ‘welcome gift’. 

Once again, the League of Villains gift greeted him from his desk, without a doubt, this little bastard had been the catalyst for the fight with the fire-user.

Those damn photos that laid scattered all over, screaming his crude crime at him. Mocking and equally enticing for someone as warm-blooded as Hawks. Those damn photos were grotesque, heartbreakingly brutal to his psyche, raw evidence of his brutal attack against you… he hated them— but hated even more how much he had already used them to jack himself off. 

Normally, he would have managed to tame his libido with practiced control—just his imagination to enjoy the ride. But shit it was not fucking working. 

So, just to gauge the obvious upper hand the League of Villains held on him, he thought of scrutinize the photos. He needed to analyze the evidence, yet each printed scene was brought back to life in his mind…

Your pussy gripping him so gloriously, calling him home— that tight, lovely look on your face as you buried yourself onto his lap, taking him fully in one go was fucking thrilling. 

His breath shuddered, as his patience thinned in a matter of seconds. Not even taking himself out, started to stroke himself hard and fast, nose pressed into the poor remaining of his old hero jacket, he breathed in what still lingered of your sweet scent between the fibers.

“Baby bird~” He called brokenly. “Y/N…” His eyes closed at the thought of you. 

You were so smart and funny; it skyrocketed his excitement. The thrill of having another duel of wittiness almost made him cum on the spot. 

Not to mention how well you were fit together, those perfect tits he loved to see bouncing while he breed you… your perfect ass, which look much nicer with his handprint swelling onto the skin, and your pussy—fuck, he could almost replay how tight it felt around him, how viciously grip him and milk every last fucking drop of his cum straight into your fertile womb—making him wonder perhaps, he was already a dad. 

He wouldn’t mind, the commission will deal with the public eye, as he dealt with you and his chicks. 

The mere vision of you all swelled and round with his baby ended up doing it for him. He came, hard! in thick, hot spurts, all over the photos…. ropey, white streaks now decorating each single piece of evidence. 

“Fuck,” he panted, chest heaving, limbs trembling. If he hadn’t been sitting down, his quivering knees would have failed him.  

Never has he ever spilled himself so wonderfully just by his own hand. You had him really stupefied, he idolized you, now you were his everything.

Goddamn it, he thought glaring at the stained pictures of him fucking into you. I have to add hypocrite to the list... that thought came almost automatically. He had almost maimed Dabi days ago for doing the same thing he had just done.

-

After receiving the envelope with photos, Kurogiri had disappeared into the blackness of the night leaving behind a frantic, inflamed and choleric, Takami Keigo.  

He had scanned quickly all the photos, and there was one—a close-up of your pretty face, flushed and sweaty, eyes close tight while you resisted his energetic thrusts: it was splotchy. A crusty, off-whitey stain splattered across your face in the picture.  

It felt like a blunt punch to his gut. His vision went red when at the tact, he recognized how cum looks like when it dries out.  

This was definitely Dabi´s reckless and mocking, signature.

His wings spread bristly and sharp, buzzing with anger, in a calculated jump leaped off the ground and pulled out his cellphone sending a text message.

Hawks.-

We need to talk.

Typing...

Touya.-

Sure, bucket of chicken, see you at the usual spot.

Hawks's eyes gleamed with cold rage as he sped up toward the meeting place.

“Endeavor saved the day again, with the help of hero Hawks, they rescued a student who was caught in the crossfire of a Nomu attack—” the reporter informed, while recorded scenes of the incident were played on the back. 

Dabi rested his elbows lazily on his knees as he waited for the birdman to show. He must be livid. Dabi thought, amused. His gaze analyzed the footage on the TV. Blue eyes watched Endeavor’s flames burn like a thousand suns, so intense and so irresponsible that if it weren’t for the bucket of chicken, you would have been charred— and that was, when he spotted it.

His bright blue eyes widening at the odd discovery. Rewinding it, he watched it again, and again, and again. The villain recorded every appearance of his father on the TV, to analyze it thoughtfully and so one day fry him to death, properly. 

It was a noticeable and severe, injury.

Endeavor's flames had licked at Hawks’ arm and part of his wing. Nevertheless, in the surveillance photos he had took out of a lucky strike, Hawks didn’t sport those injuries. How had he missed it?

What a peculiar oddity, the raven-haired villain thought, looking at one of the copies he kept for private usage.

The image printed on the paper was a true masterpiece. Dabi knew Hawks from way back, and the second the Hero joyfully requested to be accepted in the league of villains, claiming to the four winds that he wanted to change sides, Dabi knew he was playing the sordid spy. 

Even so, the villain played it by ear, taking advantage of what he could and discarding what was plain garbage. 

These photos, well, this were pure gold.... Hawks finally looked like the villain he pretended to be. Fucking the brains out of the poor student –whom he saved from death earlier– plunging inside your pristine pussy with ferality he had only witnessed when the blond was in heat, all of this at the commodities of some dirty alley. Your pretty face pressed against hard concrete while he carved the shape of his heroic cock deep inside you, more than ten photos supported this indecent act of Hero number two, a whole variety of sexual positions, a real feast to the eyes…. Not even Dabi himself could have done it better.  

The oldest Todoroki chuckled. Wicked gaze set on your pretty face…. What is your quirk? He wondered, obnoxiously intrigued by you.

You were like a mouse in the hawk's claws, squeaking and scurrying about ever so cutely. You had achieved what he never did, make Hawks reveal his darker side in plain light... Bravo! you deserved a standing ovation. Dabi was definitely hooked.

His fat and awfully hard cock pressed against his stomach was proof enough of how much he liked those photos, maybe he could give himself some relief before Keigo arrived, all bristle and aggressive. Dabi wished to welcome his oldest acquaintance, jacking himself off, looking at your pretty face contorted in pain and bliss. 

The smallest of smirks twisted his scarred lips when the wave of air from Hawks harsh landing, blown the skirts of his trench coat. Buh, too late…. 

“Hello there, birdy boy,” Picking the set of photos, stuffed them inside his trench coat and twirled around to meet him. “Tell me, how do you feel after getting your rocks off? —Let me be the first to tell ya, you are glowing.”

Dabi teased, proficiently. He could tell, behind those stormy, golden eyes of his, there were questions brewing. 

“—Who the fuck do you think you are, Dabi?!”

“What did I do?” the villain feigned mocking innocence, looking amusedly offended.

Hawks ignored the vile that dropped down his spine at hearing him replying so unabashedly.

“Do you have people tailing me?!” The blond growled low in his throat, “without a fucking doubt this Nomu attack was your thing-”

“Nah, nah, nah, birdy boy.” He shook his head, playfully. “That has Shigaraki’s signature all over it—don´t blame it on yours truly,” he said it like that on purpose, knowing it will unbalance him and... it did.

Dabi spared a glance his way, with that crazy look on his face he always gave when felt overly amused by a situation and continued explaining. “Dust-face wanted to test his new creation against number one hero... It turned out to be great disappointment.”

“—I bet not as disappointing as your father in you.” Keigo couldn’t stop the snarl that fell from his chest accompanying a wicked twitch on his lip. The blond was blazing with toxic anger, and Dabi entertained his punch under the belt with sadistic silence.

“After fucking a pretty student against her will in some dirty alley, one would think you'll in a better mood.” He grinned his most wicked grin. That comment had irked him. 

Takami Keigo was the only other being alive who knew about his sordid secret past, of course, that sensitive topic would eventually backfire at his face! After all, they used to tousle among the sheets during Hawks’s heats, and those kinds of topics were like their pillow talk. 

If they were a Heroic team, their name would be ‘The Daddy issues duo’. 

Dabi stared at him fully, and there was so much sadism or wickedness in what he said next, that it made his words all the more antagonizing.

“I must admit you picked a pretty one, real pretty girl—” his grin only grew as Hawks’s scowl deepened. “—Let me know more about this little cunt, Keigo. I usually can’t shut you up,” he smirked, reaping some humor from the situation. 

“Go on, I’m intrigued to know how firm her tits were, the tightness of her pussy—was she a virgin? -…” Hawks felt exasperated, almost at the verge of a fit, “... but what am I saying, of course she was! You damn criminal—”

His next words caught in his throat as Hawks rushed to him, in a vicious attack. Even been waiting for it, Dabi had trouble dodging it, his damn feathers were devilishly sharp against his staples.

A feral fight broke out, giant blue flames licked the walls of the abandoned building, thankfully the roof was already destroyed beforehand, otherwise it would have exploded, thus drawing the attention of some unwanted Hero who was patrolling around. 

Hawks viciously attacked him with precise movements, gliding around him and sneaking up to slash his chest with the long feather he was using as a sword. Dabi's agility was nothing to laugh at, anyone else would be cut in half but he only had a scratch, and the mourn of his favorite white shirt.

“You owe me a new shirt, birdbrains—”

The flame-user extended a glowing palm in preparation to attack, and Hawks fell directly into his trap, he dodged, anyway his other palm was already smoking and without preamble the raven-haired fired a puff of blazing blue flames which licked the crimson wings of the hero forcing him to take flight and stay away from him.

From up high, Keigo read the intentions in Dabi’s daring stance, as he calculated the risk of keep on teaching him a lesson. 

“You can’t just keep burning everything around you, Todoroki-” he said up high in the sky, emphasizing his last name since he knew, he hated it. Calculations had been made. 

The blond had decided he wanted to see the villain on his knees and begging for his unreachable forgiveness.

“Says who?” The white-hot glare in his turquoise eyes was as bright as the one on his palm, which smoldered into the bursting blue of flames as it lit up his fingers. “Says you? You stupid overly-sensitive pigeon—” he smirked a snort, looking up at him from the ground. Exposed chest heaving, and palms shining with dancing flames.

“Come down here with me, scared dove. I’m going to roast you! and then I’m going to find that girl, and I’m going to fuck her RAW—” Dabi spread his arms out, theatrically. The stare on his eyes more vicious from the high angle of Hawks. “I think I’ll debut her sweet, virgin asshole, it must be SO tight and warm… by the way, did you like my gift?” 

The banter in his voice made Hawks hiss a low and dangerous curse, and when he peeked down at Touya’s hot glare, those pulsing eyes shone with something beyond just mockery, something akin lust... it was, pure hunger.  

“I had forgotten to thank you Keigo,” He tilted his head tauntingly, in false courtesy. “I didn't even remember when the last time I had rub one out like that—fucking mess I did… next time, I’ll cum in her REAL face.” 

Takami Keigo just saw red, his brain snapped, instincts overcame him. He knew had to be cautious, the black-haired villain was up to something, relentlessly taunting him… nevertheless, his body attacked, unable to control himself. 

“You’re NOT allowed to mention her!” Keigo swooped towards him, “—you’re a piece of shit that doesn’t deserve to even breathe the same air as her!” 

The Hero wheeled around him slicing his trench coat through the back. The black leather fabric hugging his torso slipped to one side, and the photos safely kept in his inner pocket fell to the filthy ground. Hawks's fierce gaze landed on the pictures, and that scarce moment of hesitation was more than enough for Dabi.

Dabi’s flames spread across his wings like fire on dry leaves, the hero fell to the ground, spinning around to put them out and before he could adopt a defensive stance again… Dabi was on top of him. Beautiful cerulean flames licking at his fingers, as a wicked smile stretched across that stapled face.  

“—Oops! looks like I burned your precious wings,” The manic grin on his face had only made Keigo remember his number one rule: never underestimate Dabi. 

The blond just stared up at him, doing his best to stay compose.

“You don’t seem worried…” the villain accused, “I´ve been meaning to mention this: I can't see the wounds that my piece-of-shit father left you yesterday…” the sole of his boot pressed into Hawk’s chest to moved it from side to side while pretending to check, “that’s odd—you ought to solve this riddle for me, birdbrains.”

He stomped on his charred arm making him wince, and leant down to whisper, teasingly. “Do it, and I might even reward you,” he grinned too pleased, “-by letting you suck me off, as you love to.”  

Hawks grunted low, though it wasn’t the timber he had used before, it was different. Genuine displeasure leaked into his voice. “I don’t do that on purpose—”

“Yes, you, fucking do!” Dabi stressed, squatting down over his chest, hovering over the injured Hero. Fingers tensed as flames licked their tips. “Don't know if you heard blondie, but when you are in heat, it´s like if you were made to be fucked and breed by yours truly.”  The broad smirk that shifted his metallic staples made Keigo shift uncomfortably.  

Dabi was actually frustrating him. Hawks just wanted to erase that sly smile from his lips, too sly and self-indulgent, almost as if.... Oh!

To Dabi’s surprise, Hawks started to giggle- it seemed genuine. A real laugh. The blond couldn’t help it. His hunch was awfully hilarious.  

“Is that it, Dabi... really?” he asked, scoffing. A lonely brow raised on the fire-bender’s face, holding something close to bewilderment. “Are you really that jealous that now I have a mate, and I´ll no longer need you to help me with my ruts?” he kept on giggling, openly ignoring Dabi’s deadpanned frown “—how lame…” 

Dabi mumbled something intelligible to then snort and shrug, flatly. Shaking his head while straightening up, and not even a second apart, the kicks began. Each time harder to make sure he hurt the blond, his face never losing the same mask of boredom and indifference he was known for.  

“Don’t flatter yourself, hero imitation, you’re just a cumdump to me…” he informed, almost bored. “A flesh-light, if you prefer. It amuses me to see you squirm like a whore under my touch—"

Dabi wrinkled his nose, and Hawks chuckled, a teasing, annoying sound that only served to make Dabi hiss. 

“Nah, Touya’s jealous of a little schoolgirl,” the blond boasted, “…c’me here, and I’ll even gift you a kiss, so you can stop crying—” 

The blond taunted him sporting a broken lip, blows adorned his jaw, singed wings, and dirty and emaciated suit... Yet, his smile was devastatingly bewitching as he held out his arms, inviting the villain to take the space in between them. 

Dabi snarled, straddling his body once again and delivering withering blows. 

“—I’ll burn that fucking smirk of your ridiculous face, shitty hero.”  

No doubt Hawks knew how to rattle the Todoroki, not many had the ability to make his blood boil.  Hawks covered from the strikes with his forearms, and in a twist, he swiped his leg making Dabi stumble upon himself.

“Don't go around falling for me, Touya-” Keigo shared in all sarcasm and giggles only to receive a square punch in the face. 

Dabi sighed, fed off. “Not everyone is in love with you, you self-centered idiot.” He spat, grabbing Hawk’s jaw inside his fist. “That's why I hate heroes, they fall in love with their own legend—” the flame-user tightened his hand around his jaw and without letting go, hauled him up to face him.

“I'm intrigued, not jealous, you narcissistic jerk... there's a huge, gigantic difference …” Dabi sounded threatening and Keigo’s mouth shaped in the form of an ‘o’ as if realizing the true colors behind Touya’s actions, and just when he thought he had him figured out— his lips slammed against his in a coppery flavored kiss.  

COMING SOON PART 12....

➡️ ARTWORK OF THIS STORY

@wtvbabes @dreamlessnight @naomi1247e @alicecil87 @geniejunn @justanerd1 @bakugosgirl01 @toxicxmindsposts

[tzuberry]

me, you, and the red bracelet

pairing gunwook + gn reader details red string of fate but not rlly (?) cw blood (not graphic), trip/fall wc 1192 read time 5 mins

note i hate this bruh i cba to fix it or anything i think the entire plot of this is what’s wrong with it it just doesn’t feel right.. unfortunately

masterlist navigation

You never thought anything much of the red string bracelet your mother gave you on the day of your middle school graduation—just that it looked kind of stupid. Upon receiving it, at the unripe age of fourteen, you contemplated its purpose and why your mom couldn’t give you a shiny new Pandora charm bracelet as your friends’ parents did for them.

Nevertheless, as a relic of representation of your grandmother’s beliefs (as your dad had told you), it became difficult to take off… metaphorically. You couldn’t just disrespect a family member like that; especially one that had essentially raised you. So, the sort of odd-looking, entirely useless red string wrapped around your wrist had to stay just the way it was.

Over time, its significance, and the meaning of it, diminished in your point of view. No one in your family had taken the time to enlighten you on its real purpose, so in the end… what—who were you wearing it for?

“I think it’s cute,” your friend Eunah said one day. She had a stripe of frothed milk above her upper lip from drinking the cafe mocha she ordered, so it was hard to take her seriously. Still, it was clear what she was talking about; she slid the tip of her finger under the red string across your wrist, tugging on it slightly.

In the mid-afternoon of another unremarkable Saturday, you’d found yourselves at the nearest coffee shop to your building on campus. You had a lot of work to catch up on, and Eunah graciously offered to accompany you… but she ended up not much of a help. Additionally, she only got you wondering if you had a milk mustache identical to hers, seeing as you’d gotten the same drink.

“It’s alright,” you replied, letting out a deep breath as you continued writing with your free hand. “I’m thinking of taking it off one of these days.”

“Oh, come on,” your friend groaned. “It means something, you know,” she stated, tone almost defensive. Your best friend was big on myths, theories, and any kind of legend—she was probably about to regale you on another one, this time concerning the bracelet you wore daily. “Like, when you find your soulmate, the string will break—I’ve heard of it.”

You scoffed. “Yeah, okay.” You were never one to believe any of this, which is why you never did any of your own research regarding your red string. It’s stupid, and it looks stupid too.

“Fine. Don’t believe me then,” she said, amused and rolling her eyes. “Just… when it happens, at least tell me I was right. And that I told you so.” Eunah began to pack her things into her blue Herschel backpack, and with all your textbooks and notepads laid out on the table, you didn’t have the chance to notice that she…

She stood up, wearing her bag over both shoulders. “I’ll see you on Monday, [Name]. Text me when you leave later.”

“Mhm,” you passively hummed. “Text me when you get home.”

She nodded. “I will.” Then, she went out the door.

It’d been only a few minutes post-Eunah exit when you came to find that your advanced chem textbook was gone—just— poof. As if it hadn’t had a spot on the table earlier, as if someone had… oh. (As if someone had taken it.)

You dashed out of the cafe as quickly as you could, not minding the passers-by and their brief judgmental glances. You needed that book—your exam was on Monday. You couldn’t even begin to think about what you would do without it. And, sure, it wouldn’t have been the end of the world if you weren’t able to catch up to Eunah, but it was more convenient to chase after her now than to commute to her house or assign a delivery service to bring you your textbook.

It had just so happened when your friend came into view, you… tripped. Shit. At least your arms broke the fall.

You were so certain the palms of your hands were grazed and (a very tiny bit) bloodied—so much so that you concluded it would hurt to prop yourself up to stand. Luckily, although you didn’t know it at the time…

“You alright?” a stranger asked, extending help in the form of his hand reaching for yours.

Despite your better judgment, the first thing that came to your mind had unfortunately been: he’s really, really cute. And tall. He flashed you an awkward smile, which prompted you to wonder why until he shook his empty hand in front of you—a subtle reminder that you had yet to get up from the floor.

“Oh, oh—!” you gasped, taking his offer into grasp. (Not too tightly though. Your palm was still… bleeding.) Your eyes locked onto his wrist as he helped you back up, and it’s just then that you realized it: your red string bracelet is gone.

The boy laughed. “That was a hard fall,” he said, nearly giggling in… amusement at your misfortune. He had taken his hand back before you could even hope that your blood didn’t rub off on him. His smile dropped. “You’re bleeding.”

Your red string bracelet was gone.

Your red string bracelet was gone.

Your red string bracelet was... who even is this guy?

“Hello? Are you good?” He waved his hand ahead of your face.

“[Name],” he called out. How did he know your name? (Newsflash: it was on your ID.) “Are you good?”

With half your consciousness gone due to the sole premise of your bracelet disappearing, you’d lost the ability to lead any train of thought clearly. “What’s your name?” you semi-breathlessly inquired, tilting your head and raising a brow.

He pointed to himself and asked for clarification. With this gesture, you noticed that he wore the same ID lanyard as yours. “Me?”

“Yes.”

“Gunwook.” He smiled softly.

Could Eunah really have been right? You’d just met this guy, when—

“Gunwook, can I have your number?” ... Impulse took over the rationality in you.

He broke into the widest grin you’d ever seen. He let go of your hand, which you hadn’t remotely noticed he took ahold of again, and stared at you intently as he waited for you to open your phone. You didn’t have your phone on you.

With a shake of your head, he immediately understood and pulled a pen out of his pocket. “Got paper?”

That you did. Gunwook ripped it into two, gave you one, wrote his number down first, and then lent you his pen. He wanted your number too…

“Uh, here it is.” Passing the piece of paper back to him, you pursed your lips, and the corners of your mouth came up ever-so-slightly. “Thanks. I’ll, um, go now.”

You rushed away (briskly walking) from the echo of Gunwook’s voice, ringing out with the question: “Wait! How’s your hand?”

“Good!” you yelled back.

Fortunately, when you reached the cafe again, your belongings and coffee were left untouched. There, you fished out your phone from somewhere in your backpack and called Eunah right away, planning to open with the line: “You were right, and you told me so.”

[homestuckreplay]

Homestuck with a Different Starting Character

In some video games, players are given a choice of which character they’d like to begin the story with. Homestuck doesn’t allow this – Act 1 begins with the player as John Egbert, and Rose Lalondegets seamlessly folded into the story – but Acts 2 and 3 take us back in time to the moment the story starts, and give us a glimpse of what a Homestuck starring Dave, Jade or even the Wayward Vagabond would be like.

Starting with Dave. This means beginning with pages 309-333, 337-357, 381-384, 443-466, 562-613, and then Dave’s full strife with Bro (p.665, 836, 871, 1070). During this whole time, both the narrative and Dave’s friends would be talking about Sburb and stressing the importance of Dave playing it to save Rose’s life, and as readers, we would either have to take it on faith that Sburb is capable of that, or we’d be skeptical and ultimately very surprised when Dave eventually boots up the game and sees Rose. In other words, we would get an immersive Dave experience. Dave also really loves John and makes that clear in his earliest pages, so as readers we’d be excited to meet this even cooler guy that the existing coolguy loves so much. However, Dave’s resistance to reader commands such as ‘retrieve arms from cinderblocks’ wouldn’t stand out in contrast to other characters, and the Midnight Crew would be the second characters we meet visually, making this comic within a comic feel plot crucial.

Starting with Jade. The story would begin at the start of Act 3 and continue uninterrupted to page 835, followed by several other Jade sections scattered throughout the act leading up to ‘Jade: Pester John’ (p.1073). This would be out first glimpse of ‘real’ John, but we’d actually see him sooner in the Midnight Crew intermission, which would call into question his entire character arc when we met him for real – does John suck so bad at his sylladex because he’s just escaped from a comic into the real world? Jade is the weirdest character who breaks narrative patterns, but her fourth wall breaking, naming herself, interacting directly with the reader, and having multiple fetch modi, instruments and home decorations would feel like the norm. Going from the weirdest to the most surface-normal character could be an interesting story, but I think it’d work better if it was done intentionally. Jade has a life filled with exciting things like her dreambot, radioactive pet dog, and mystic frog ruins, so we’d be waitingfor the other shoe to drop with similar weirdness for the other characters, and it never would. Also, Jade’s story is so interlinked with WV’s that I think introducing them consecutively was a really good move, so it’d have to be Jade and WV before meeting the other kids.

Starting with the Wayward Vagabond. This would mean beginning with the ‘Years in the future…’ pages (p.248, 271, 439, 509), followed by WV’s extended sequence creating Can Town in the bunker (p.666-756) and ‘WV: Ascend’. This would introduce us to John through WV’s command terminal and an incomprehensible list of past/future commands, telling us right away that John is being commanded in-universe as well as out, and to Rose, Dave and Dad through brief glimpses of their positions at the end of act 2. I actually love this idea, and think this would be a fascinating prologue. The first glimpse of Skaian cosmology would come from WV’s wall drawings and chessboard, and we’d unearth Sburb like an archaeologist, piecing together that something very bad happened centuries earlier and that a very small number of humans might have survived. It would probably raise a lot of curiosity about the meaning of ‘captchalogue’, which is mentioned only for WV to say he doesn’t know what it means. It would also emphasize the role of timeloops and paradoxes much sooner, and begin with an already large-scale, zoomed-out story, instead of the slow build we currently have.

Starting with Rose is challenging, as her story begins already very entwined with John’s, but here’s some bonus options instead.

Reading Homestuck chronologically by when its pages are set would (right now at page 1088) mean starting with pages 999-1000, which take place on December 1, 2008. This begins with Jade’s birthday instead of John’s, and keeps the focus on birthday gifts that starting at page 1 has. It hints at Jade’s powers, and the supernatural elements of the story, right away, and it shows the reader John’s graffitied and clown-covered walls before we see his blank room, so we know something weird is going on with this kid from day one. The trolls are discussed more than Rose and Dave in this conversation, so starting here makes it seem like the trolls will be much more important to the kids’ adventures than they are so far.

Reading Homestuck at one page per day, an update schedule more comparable to other webcomics, would take almost three years to read everything that’s been posted so far. It would also dramatically change the story’s pacing. Jade Harley would spend five days picking up fruit (p.781-5) but ‘WV: Ascend’ would still be a single day. Flash updates such as ‘Dave: Abscond’ would help avoid a common problem with webcomics (including Problem Sleuth) where fight scenes take up a lot of out of universe time, but weeks of an extended sylladex joke would probably frustrate more readers into quitting.

Reading Homestuck with just the pictures. I have heard about people doing this, and it makes sense – most webcomics keep their text entirely within the strips, and external text is optional. Following John’s actions early on is okay without text, but it’s almost impossible to get a sense of his character.

Reading Homestuck with just the text. I think it would be nearly impossible to get to grips with captchalogue mechanics this way, which are already lots of people’s least favorite part of the story, plus it would remove all the interactivity and music, which are a big part of what scratches the brain.

Reading Homestuck by randomly sorting the numbers 1-1088 and reading the pages in that order. DO NOT DO THIS.

[utilitycaster]

I wasn’t around the fandom back in C2, but I know some people didn’t like that the Nein kind of ignored the war and didn’t follow that thread Matt laid out. Was this a widespread enough critique of the campaign to where it would possibly be influencing the players to follow Matt’s premise and threads more here, despite playing ill suited characters? Not looking for this as justification for this campaign's problems, to be clear, just kind of reaching for an explanation for the timidity here. I feel like I’m watching players be too polite to say "actually, we just really don't care if the gods are here or not" but not wanting to harsh Matt's story concept.

Hi anon,

This is a good question, and I think the answer is ultimately "I don't know", but I do want to take you through my thought process which I hope is helpful. The short answer is, however, that while this is interesting to speculate on (this is a good post doing so) I don't ultimately need to know. External factors can influence a work, clearly, but I think that needs to be taken on a case-by-case basis and in this case, an explanation for the timidity doesn't really address that I don't care for it.

Firstly: I think the fandom's influence on player choices is probably overstated. I think that fan influence was something of a concern in Campaign 1, when the fandom was much smaller, the cast was much more hands-on, and, for example, for a lot of the earlier episodes the chat was literally on the YouTube videos so if they went to rewatch their own work they'd see that. Matt used to drop into the Reddit. People who were fans in 2015 and early 2016 would email or DM cast or crew and get direct messages. That's really no longer the case, and hasn't been for a very long time.

I can't speak to the fandom at large's feelings on the war plot in Campaign 2 while it was actually airing. I have seen it brought up a lot by Campaign 2 detractors after the fact, but I don't do Reddit or Twitter and during Campaign 2 I didn't really go into the main tag much until fairly late. Personally, I feel a lot of people lean on the "they didn't follow the war plot" only because Matt revealed in the wrap-up that he had something planned for the Augen Trust, but there was absolutely no way for the cast to know it. Additionally, I think my feeling about this is "their avoidance was a very clear decision that was true to their characters." When the party first leaves Zadash, it is specifically because they are low-level and explicitly want to get out of town before the war leads to heightened security. Nott is at the time a goblin and not treated as a citizen of the Empire. Molly, Yasha, Fjord, and Jester aren't imperial citizens either. Beau hates authority, and Caleb has extremely good reasons (having just seen Trent) to get as far away from anything relating to the Empire's government. After their mission to Shady Creek run, they are grieving and decide to go someplace where a few of them feel at home, and also pursue the note from Avantika they found. They avoid the war because it makes perfect sense for that group of characters to do; and then they eventually go to Xhorhas and see the war from the other perspective! They don't even avoid it; they just engage in a way that is very different from how Matt originally envisioned, and is, again, very true to their characters (Nott wanting to save Yeza; Caleb wanting to avoid imprisonment and being willing to hand over the beacon to do so). The Mighty Nein very much followed available plot hooks at every turn; they might have been different plot hooks than some people wanted, but they were very much making choices based on who they were as characters at each juncture.

I also think that the characters leaning into "we don't really care" early on would have actually been a great move and one Matt could adapt to. I think that might have actually led to him trying to, for example, encourage a focus on either "Predathos is an existential threat that is leading Ludinus to commit multiple atrocities, and killing him will still leave the temptation intact for another Ludinus to arise"; or "well, how about we give you time to explore your own pasts and your own homes and get perspectives from the common people of Exandria and then decide from a humanist perspective". The problem isn't that they may or may not release Predathos or may or may not destroy the gods; it's that their motivations are at best either solipsistic or barely existent and so it's hard to care about anything because the party feels dragged along by a plot they don't care about. They're not even choosing the plot actively; they're just sort of shuffling slowly forward through it.

Now, here's my opinion: I think that even if the fandom were critical of Campaign 2 (and while some people are, it is openly and widely beloved, and I think the cast are familiar with the idea that you cannot make everyone happy), I don't think listening to the fandom is necessarily correct. I think that, in fact, listening too much to the fandom and trying to please whoever is loudest or most unpleasant or threatening or flattering or worse still, multiple of these groups, will nearly always make your art weak.

There's choices where I think the context of said choice is important: I'm a little softer now on the party not having time to mourn FCG in-game than I was at the time because I can understand feeling really bad about and uncomfortable with, essentially, holding a memorial for a character played by your friend currently in cancer treatment. I understand why it happened. I do not blame the cast for making that choice. I do think, however, it does make a weaker story. I would not walk up to Matt Mercer and say "this sucked and you shouldn't have done this" but just because there's a good external reason doesn't mean it was necessarily executed well in game. This may sound cold to some. I don't particularly care; I'm writing this about how criticism from random strangers means very little to me.

I feel very strongly that you should not play to your haters. This comes up a lot when we talk about the misogynistic death threats that Marisha received, and for what it's worth I think Marisha has at all times handled this well and any criticism I have of her characters isn't related to her being overly timid. I really do, as a woman myself, understand that one's safety is paramount, and I would never demand an artist put themselves at risk (though many choose to, and often that work is excellent). But *Dessa Fire Drills voice* that's not, in my opinion, a way to live. It's a delicate and exhausting balance but avoiding making bold moves because the worst fucking guy on the internet will call you a slur is letting him win and he'll call you the slur anyway.

Maybe this isn't a great way to be, and I was not born this way so much as found it through some rough experiences when I was younger, but if someone's never going to be happy with you, or even if their idea of what is acceptable is so vanishingly narrow that you will have to fold yourself up to fit into it, don't you want to 1. focus then on making yourself happy and 2. not worry about pissing them off and indeed maybe even court it a little so long as it doesn't conflict with what you would want if they were out of the picture?

So I don't want to say there's no explanation ever that will make me feel a little more understanding; but "this work isn't great because of external factors beyond the creators' control" doesn't fix the fact that the work isn't great. It's not their fault in that case! But like...you know the college myth of "if your roommate dies you get straight As for the semester"? It's untrue there and it's untrue here. I will be more sympathetic to the artist; but the art still isn't good and I'm not going to pretend like it is.

[petrichor-idyllic]

Hey! I wanted to request a fic with minho maybe where the reader (she/her) is shy? And a mom friend too maybe like feeding everybody 24/7 and caring all sort of stuff with her like band aids and napkins.

(Sorry for any mistakes english is not my first language)

I think I can just about manage this.

This is kind of short because I really could just not think of a decent plot for the life of me.

Writer's block is a killer man.

SOFT AT HEART

MASTERLIST | MINHO MASTERLIST

SUMMERY: See above. Takes place before the arrival of Thomas.

You've been harbouring a long-term crush on Minho, but the problem is you're shy and nervous, and Minho is anything but. Of course, Minho isn't the only Glader you care about, but it's hard to bond with a group of rowdy boys sometimes. So, you show your affections by taking care of them instead. Unbeknownst to you, your subtle acts of kindness give Minho the drive he's been missing for a long time- and maybe he needs a bit more than what he's getting.

WARNINGS: None, really.

You're the odd one out in the Glade. Of course, there's the blinding obvious that you're the only girl amongst, but also you're more reserved than your counterparts.

You've always felt like there's a strange barrier between you and the other Gladers- maybe it's because of your gender, maybe it's because of your personality. But it doesn't matter; something about you just doesn't quite click.

It's not that you don't like the boys. You love them, in fact- they're normally kind and understanding with you even though they aren't with each other. They have a lot of respect for you.

And the feeling is mutual.

But, you can't exactly go around telling a bunch of teenage boys how much you care about them without them getting the wrong idea. Not that you're great with your words to begin with. So, you show your affections through acts of service.

You offer food and water to tired Gladers who are too busy to stop working to have lunch- mainly Buliders, Track-hoes and Slicers. You carry bandages and band-aids for slight injuries that happen to those around you, and you always offer an understanding ear when the boys want to vent their frustrations, even if you don't always know what to say.

Maybe your subtle acts of kindness would just be a typical friendly gesture if it weren't for the fact that you have a massive crush on Minho.

You swore to yourself when you first came up in the Box that you wouldn't get romantically involved with any of the boys. And you've made that painfully clear to everyone. They're your friends, and they all see you as the big sister role you've put yourself in- but Minho?

Minho.

A flaw in your plan, to say to the least.

It's not like you guys talk all the time or spend loads of time together, but you have got into the habit of getting up early and meeting the Runners at the Doors to give them their lunch and drinks for the day.

You only do this so they can have more time in the Map Room before they leave for the day, which is some much needed precious seconds. You started doing this after you overheard Minho complaining about feeling like there's not enough time in the day. So, when you started showing up first thing in the morning, waking up earlier than most of the Glade, he definitely took a shine to you.

It's a simple gesture, really. One that doesn't seem to faze the other Runners in the slightest, but Minho always seems more determined and happier after seeing you. Even the Runners have pointed out a shift in work ethic to Ably.

Though, with you starting to cooperate with talking to Minho and having actual conversations, the way he looks at you is starting to make you melt.

You don't really know what it is about Minho. He's sarcastic and kind of mean sometimes, and he's definitely not scared of speaking his mind or acting recklessly. He's one of the highest regarded Gladers around, for obvious reasons, but he's probably also one of the most feared and powerful.

You've actually witnessed Minho tell Alby what to do.

What a day that was.

But that might be why you started liking him- because he isn't like that with you. Sure, you'll get the occasional witty comment or eye roll, but for the most part, he's kinder with you. It's kind of common knowledge that you're the Glade's soft spot, but that's more applicable to Minho than anyone else.

"Dude, you're staring again," Ben leans against a tree at the edge of the Deadheads where him and Minho occasionally spend free time away from the other members of the Glade.

"Hm?" Minho hums, sitting on the ground, not really paying attention to anything Ben has to say. That's nothing new.

"You're staring- again," Ben scoffs, crouching down next to him, "yanno you can talk her without her feeding us at the Doors?"

Minho glares at his friend. "I'm not staring."

Minho is a liar. You've plagued him for a while, even before you started providing for them. Of course, this is the expectation with being the only girl, but Minho has changed- like said before.

"You totally are, shuck-face."

"Slim it, Ben- you don't know what you're talking about."

"You're soft on her, man; everyone can see it."

"Everyone's soft on her, shuck-face. That's why she's made it clear she's not gonna date or any of that klunk with us."

"I mean..." Ben drags out the word, "you never know, right?"

"Dude, what are you getting at here?"

Ben shrugs. "I don't know, man, I'm just... picking up a vibe." Minho squints at his friend, bewildered that Ben thinks that's any kind of explanation.

"The shuck are you talking about?"

Ben sighs. "You've just been better, dude. It's nice having you back to normal."

Minho didn't need to ask. He knows what Ben's talking about. Before you showed up, Minho was rapidly losing hope. Having fully mapped the whole Maze and still without an exit, or even so much of a sign of an exit, it's kind of hard to keep hopes up.

But when you came up and started going around trying to raise everyone's spirits, despite being slightly awkward; he started to pick up speed again. The Glade became more positive, and Minho started to gain feelings for you.

Despite what you'd made clear.

"I think you're looking too much into it," Minho huffs, sitting back properly, leaning fully against the tree.

"I don't-"

"Hey!" You attempt to shout over to the boys, realising they're yet to come to dinner after the long day. You're holding two bowls of stew as you walk over. "You guys okay?" You ask, passing the food to the boys in turn.

Minho takes the dish from you. "Playing Glade mother as per usual?"

You avoid his gaze. "Yeah, well, you guys haven't eaten yet and Frypan is impatient- can't have our best Runners going hungry, can we?"

"Ah, so you think I'm the best?" Ben's tone is a kind of fake flirty, probably to gauge Minho's reaction. You just blink at him.

"I-I mean, I don't really know much about running, but I'm pretty sure Minho is the Keeper for a reason- so, uh, sorry?" Your words don't quite make sense, not wanting to insult Ben, but making your opinion known.

Minho can't help but smirk at this as Ben fake pouts. His eyes land on you, flickering up and down for a second, almost unintentionally; which makes your face feel warm.

"Anyway," you clear your throat, "I'm gonna..." You throw your thumb over your shoulder, "yanno."

"Yeah, catch you later." You give an awkward wave to Minho before you turn and walk slightly faster than normal away.

"You're whipped, bro," Ben chuckles between eating spoonfuls of stew, resulting in getting punched in the leg.

"Shut up, man."

Minho thought about this for a while- longer than he'd care to admit. He does like you, and you seem to be more friendly and talkative with him than you do the other Gladers.

Maybe he should just bite the bullet.

Maybe just asking you on a date wouldn't be that bad of an idea. I mean, the worst you can say is no, right? And you're a nice girl, of course, you'd be gentle about it.

Unless, you're not and you reject him and humiliate him.

Okay, so Minho might have a fear of rejection that he didn't know he had. It's not worth the awkwardness.

It's not until the next Bonfire night that Minho reconsiders this. You've taken a shine to the new Greenie.

And by "taken a shine", I mean the poor boy is rocking back and forth, curled into a ball and you're desperately trying to comfort him. He does seem to have relaxed a bit, but the Maze is a lot to take in.

He's been given Gally's Special Brew, and the alcohol has definitely calmed his nerves. So, you take a break, retreating to a more secluded area- still within shouting distance if you're needed, but far enough away to take a breather. You lean back against a log, letting your head test on the wood.

"Here," your eyes flicker open, seeing Minho standing over you, a drink in his hand.

He'd been watching you for a while, and seeing how dedicated and caring you've been literally all day has shown him he needs to make some kind of move.

"Thanks," you sit up straight, taking the drink off of him as he takes the spot next to you, both of you facing away from the festivities. "You not joining in?"

"Nah," he scoffs, taking a sip of his own drink.

"I guess you never really do, huh?" He smiles at you; he always feels warm inside when you show him that you pay attention to him. You pay attention to everyone, but sometimes it feels like you pay extra attention to him.

Probably because you do, but he doesn't know that.

"You know me so well," he scoffs and you roll your eyes before he playfully shoves you- something you wouldn't have the courage to do.

"'Course- I always pay attention to people I like," a smirk appears across Minho's face as he slightly raises his eyebrow. It takes you a second, but you quickly realise what that sounded like.

Your face immediately starts to burn and you look away. "I didn't mean-"

"Uh huh."

"I didn't!"

"Why do you look so embarrassed then?"

"Shut up," you grumble, hands coming to your face as Minho laughs at you. You've never been good at the flirting thing, and it's not hard to fluster you, but since you actually like Minho, it's drastically worse. "I didn't mean it like that- I just- you're my friend and I-I respect you- and-"

"Do you wanna go on a date?"

You freeze, turning to face him as you blink.

"What?"

Minho stares straight ahead, mainly so he doesn't freak out. "I just figured I'd stop thinking about asking and just actually ask you." You open your mouth to speak but he doesn't give you the chance. "I know you've got this whole dating rule, and you don't want any of that klunk- but I like you, (Y/N). And I used to think that if a girl came up here, I wouldn't care 'cause I've got the Maze to deal with. But, I can't help it- you're just... Good. Everyone here likes you and you're just a good person."

He looks at you, second guessing himself when he sees your completely blank expression.

"I-I don't mean- shuck it," he laughs. "You can say no and I won't be upset; I get it. But I just thought I'd ask. It's just one date, if you want, and then we don't have to do anything else or be anything and forget it even happened if you regret it. I don't wanna make you uncomfortable."

"What would we do?" The question is out of a genuine curiosity than anything. It's not like there are many restaurants or movie theatres in the Glade.

Now it's Minho's turn to blankly blink. "Well, we uh, we could go for a swim in the lake, or I could rob Frypan and we could have a picnic in the Deadheads, or we could just chill somewhere and talk about dumb klunk- whatever you wanna do."

"You've thought about this, huh?" You smile, warmth fluttering through your body as Minho turns a shade of pink, scratching the back of his neck.

"I mean... just a little." You've never seen him be embarrassed before.

It's kind of cute.

"Okay," you say after a second.

"Okay?"

"Okay, I'll go on a date with you; that picnic sounds good."

He grins. "Yeah?"

"Yeah... I kinda like you too, so..."

Minho can't stop smiling, even when you avoid looking at him again.

"You like me too?" You glance at him. He looks perfect, his lopsided smile, his dark hair and face illuminated by the flames behind him.

"Yeah," you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, "I like you too. A lot, actually."

"Cool," he clears his throat, "cool, that's cool."

"(Y/N)!" Newt calls you, "the Greenie's freakin' out again! Give us a shuckin' hand!"

You roll your eyes, standing up and smiling at Minho once again. "So, it's a date then?"

"Yeah, it's a date- I'll figure out that picnic and let you know."

"Sounds like a plan," you say as you step over the log, trying to hide your smile and not squeal the entire Glade down as you go back to your daily role.

Minho watches you walk away, letting his head drop back when your out of sight. He's completely buzzing and feels on top of the world.

"So," Ben approaches, chuckling at his friend's love-drunk state, "you finally asked her then?"

Yo, here's another Minho piece, though I am struggling with all the Minho work atm. He's one of my favourite all time characters but I'm running out of new ways to do the same thing, if that makes sense? So sorry if this one isn't as good- my quality is going down hill lmao.

"Shut your shuckin' mouth."

I still hope you kind of like, regardless :))

[lavendersugarplum]

Why Ben’s Death Was Important.

These two TUA characters could've died earlier, and I would not care.

Now that The Umbrella Academy has come to an end with Season 4, I feel like it's the perfect time to share some of my thoughts on the characters, and one in particular—Jennifer. If Jennifer had been killed off at any point during the season, it honestly wouldn't have affected me in the slightest. I just couldn't bring myself to care about her character. Jennifer's presence throughout the series has been minimal at best; she's barely had any screen time or development, making it hard to connect with or invest in her story. In many ways, she felt like a character who was simply there to serve the needs of the plot, rather than someone we were meant to root for or even understand on a deeper level.

The show could have handled her just as they did with Harlan—abruptly writing her out without much of a send-off. Harlan, who was once an important character, was discarded with little fanfare when his role no longer fit into the narrative. But because Jennifer is more closely tied to the central plot and Sparrow Ben's storyline, the writers clearly felt she was too important to be cut off so easily. Despite her being integral to certain plot points, it felt like her character never truly got the attention or development needed to make her compelling. So, while her survival made sense for the overall narrative, it didn't do much to make her any more memorable or likable to me as a viewer. If they had killed her off from the start, then the show would basically be over. Happy Ending for everyone....except her.

Another character I would have had zero qualms about losing is Sparrow Ben. Especially him. I HATE this character with a passion. No one can ever replace Umbrella Ben in my eyes; he will always be the best Ben, the only valid Ben, and the one who truly mattered. Sparrow Ben, on the other hand, is an entirely different story. I wouldn't give two flying fucks if something terrible happened to him. 😭 From the moment he appeared on screen, it was clear that his character was meant to be unlikable—arrogant, self-centered, and constantly at odds with everyone around him. And while it seemed like the writers tried to soften him up in late end of Season 3, hoping to make him more sympathetic or relatable, it just didn't work for me. Any attempts to redeem Sparrow Ben fell flat, and he remained just as obnoxious as ever.

Frankly, I'm convinced that the only reason the Umbrellas kept him around was because he looked like their beloved Umbrella Ben. If it were up to me, I'd have left his ass somewhere along the way, probably "accidentally" letting him get swallowed up by the Kugelblitz or one of the many other apocalyptic threats they faced. The Umbrellas' insistence on keeping him around felt misguided; he's not their Ben, and he's made it painfully clear he doesn't want to be part of their found family. I kept thinking, "Just let him go! He's not your brother!" The whole dynamic was forced and uncomfortable, and it's hard not to blame him for a lot of what went wrong this season. The group's willingness to cling to this hollow version of their lost sibling only made things worse.

Because let's be real, most of the things in Season 4 can be traced back to Sparrow Ben's actions or his selfish decisions. If they had just left him behind earlier on, half the disasters they faced might never have happened. The Umbrellas should have cut their losses instead of trying to see something redeemable in a character who had no interest in being part of their story. To me, the only decent Sparrows were Sloane and Marcus—characters who, unlike Sparrow Ben, showed some sense of loyalty, vulnerability, and a willingness to grow. Sparrow Ben was just dead weight, a constant reminder of what the Umbrellas lost, without offering anything meaningful in return. He is a prime example to show how none of the Umbrella's are willing to just let go of some things and move on.

The entire series of The Umbrella Academy revolves around one central theme: the siblings' refusal to let go of the past and accept things as they are. They're constantly clinging to old traumas, memories, and regrets, unable to move forward. This is why Sparrow Ben's antagonistic personality is in a way important to the storyline. If he had been as loving, kind, and brotherly as Umbrella Ben, his role as the catalyst for the Umbrellas' downfall would have made no sense. Sparrow Ben's cold and selfish nature was a direct contrast to what the Umbrellas once had, highlighting just how much they were still trapped in the past, desperately trying to hold onto something that was long gone. So even though a lot of us might absolutely loathe this character, he role was a reminder that you can't recreate what you've lost, no matter how hard you try, and this refusal to accept that truth is what ultimately led the siblings down a destructive path.

Rewatching the series with this context makes Umbrella Ben's death feel even more important. On its own, his death is a heartbreaking and tragic moment, a sudden loss of a beloved character. But when viewed within the entire narrative arc of the series, it transforms from a purely sad event into something more complex—almost a bittersweet relief. I believe now that Ben's death was a subtle foreshadowing of how the story would ultimately end. It was a powerful hint at the series' overarching message about the necessity of letting go. Ben's journey was a microcosm of what every character needed to learn but often resisted—the painful but necessary act of moving on.

Ben was the first sibling to accept his fate, to realize that holding onto people, memories, and pain when it's time to let go is not only unhealthy but self-destructive. His decision to let go wasn't just about moving on from his own death; it was about ending his cycle of self-inflicted suffering. He recognized that by clinging to the past, he was only perpetuating his own misery. His final act of release allowed him to find peace, breaking the cycle and allowing his spirit to finally move forward. This stands in sharp contrast to the rest of the siblings, who repeatedly fall into the same patterns, unable to break free from their own personal demons.

To break the cycle, you must be willing to let go, just as Ben ultimately did.

[btssmutficslovingfan01]

Berries and Crème

⇰ Summary: You find that not all is well in the land of Strawberryland, where there are seven men with colorful hair that have never laid eyes upon a woman before meeting you.

⇰ Words: 12k

⇰ Genre: Smut & Angst (Crackfic)

⇰ Pairing: BTS x fem!Reader (all members)

⇰ Warnings: Strawberry Shortcake AU, Cunnilingus, Fellatio, Dubious Consent, Implied war, Mentions of PTSD, Voyeurism, Breeding kink, creampie, Jungkook centric, the boys are clueless and don't know what sex is until you ruin their innocence, fucking of pumpkins-food play-ish?, lots of fruit puns/references to sweet things because of the theme, comparing pussy to pumpkinussy(?), plot if you squint. A/N: I DID IT I POSTED YAYYYY! But also please enjoy, I am really tired but I felt bad so here is something I have had in drafts for a while....a fucked up strawberry shortcake au where reader isn't in a good situation-HAVE FUN! Low key kidnapping but whatever. I think I was PMSing when I wrote this. Or it was when I was in a poly relationship with two guys and got carried away.

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

You remembered traveling. You were in a car, a really nice car…and you were…yes, you were being kidnapped by your uncle. He said something about some money, some money your father wouldn’t give him. And then the car crashed.

When you came to, he was passed out and you were stranded under a tree.

Suddenly, a puppy with purple fur ran out. You were disoriented and had no clue what the time was but it was strange how the purple puppy that looked to be a toy poodle was running around you, barking as you looked around for anything that could help. Your uncle was unconscious and bleeding out right now so the only thing you could think of was to run away from him. 

There was no telling what the man would do, especially now since you were injured. Sure, he was bleeding, but would that really stop him? He could still very well overpower you. You put your hand up to the dog, as if you were trying to silence it, pressing a finger against your lips and gently whispering: “Shhh, be quiet, you’ll wake him.” You noticed the puppy whining and barking as if it was trying to get someone’s attention.

Suddenly, you heard rustling coming from some bushes nearby, and noticed how big they were. The structure of this area was strange, apart from a few trees scattered around and a mysterious looking log cabin, there was a small fraction of the land that was surrounded by a row of bushes. It almost looked like it was covering something.

Then, a man just appeared, from the bushes. As if there was something hidden there, he just walked out, and you saw how he stepped THROUGH them. So they were fake. He had to be a magician or a wizard of some sort, as the world seemed to warp around him and you sensed something magical about him.

He had doe eyes, and a button nose which was wider all throughout. He was very handsome and appeared to be asian. You weren’t one to guess, but if you had to, you’d say he’s korean. His purple hair wasn’t the strangest thing about him-his outfit was. He was wearing a matching dark purple tracksuit and a light cyan blue and white shirt. His hair was put into a neat ponytail and….his eyes were a deep rich violet. He was probably wearing a cosplayer. 

“Ist def douclf dtep?” That didn’t sound like any language you knew as he opened his mouth to speak. The puppy barked and ran around you, as you looked up, hot from the heat and dehydrated from the past hour of being stuck here.

“Please, help me.” You reached out to the man, in hopes of him reaching back to you before you fainted.

When you came to, you were in a bed, surrounded by two other men, who were peering at you with curiosity. A third man walked in, and as your blurry vision cleared, you could see it was the guy that helped you earlier with the tracksuit. The two other mystery men had strange hair colors and outfits too. One had maroon and pink hair fading into a lighter shade, and he was wearing a really long pink shirt with green and white tights (a man in tights? REALLY?) and lilac contacts in his eyes, while the other had a more normal appearance with blonde hair and blue eyes, but wore a lemon themed outfit, with a goofy lemon printed button up shirt and a plain white tee underneath with some shorts and a pair of white and yellow tights and yellow tennis shoes as well. What was it with the men in this place and their fucking tights?

“Ah, she’s awake?!” The purple haired man ran to you at once. You blushed a bit because it was so nerve wracking to see a good looking guy be attentive towards you. “Move away guys, give her some space.” He said to the other men.

“I can understand you.” You said while sitting up.

“Yeah. That’s because I brought you into Strawberryland. Normally we don’t let other humans cross in, in case they try destroying the town. God forbids that happens again…” He said with a slight dark twinge to his voice. 

“Strawberryland?” You raised a brow and sat up. “What’s that?” You prayed they wouldn’t break into song and dance. 

“It’s the name of this world. You see, long ago, the Berrymunchkins and Berrybugs needed a place to live, so a great wizard from the human world created a safe haven for all the creatures to live, hiding them away from all harm-along with a couple human beings to boot. It was meant to balance out. 15 people, and 9 of the creatures. However, the creatures felt wronged, tired of being used for labor as they had been previously in the human world. So, they retaliated. Slaughtered half of us. You see, we had siblings. There were two of us in each house, and we were happy! My sister…” He clenched his fist. “I’ll never forget what they did to Plum,” He gritted his teeth. You could tell he was going through something at the moment. Definitely looked like PTSD. “Sorry. You probably didn’t need to hear that. But it’s the current state of things. Sorry I couldn’t do more for you than offer a heatpack for your stomach and a hot towel for your forehead. We are pretty much out of medical supplies because the bug workers at the local hospital went on strike.”

You sit up slowly, wincing from the sudden pain.

“What kind of a city is this? Berrymunchkins and bugs, the color….I don’t understand how it’s so…wait, are we in a giant plum right now?” You looked around the house and noticed the shape of it. It was decorated purple, everywhere, and the windows looked candy-stripe themed as well, with green and white peppermints serving as the panes for the glass.

“Yes. Well, that is the magic of strawberryland. We weren’t born here but it gave us these physical changes. Pretty sweet if I say so myself.” The one with the blonde hair spoke up, chuckling in between.

“Wow. And this place was hidden right where the car crash happened? Wow, I guess I got lucky.” You said, sighing in relief.

“Car…crash?” The man who helped you originally asked. “Is that the name of the vehicle that brought you here? My pet, Lavendar, found you and got my attention. I almost never venture out but then when I saw you I had to help. Plus, she’s a good dog. She normally never barks like that,” He said. “Might I add…” He scans your body. “You are unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.” He said.

“Can I ask you how long you’ve been in this place?” You piped up. You had to know.

“Uh…I think a hundred and ten human years, at least?” Your eyes widened. “Time doesn’t pass for us, just barely. We don’t remember the world before this one. We don’t remember why our physical appearances changed or how, all we know is that we’re here now,” He added with a smile. “Together.” He looked back at his friends and gave them a small smile.

“Okay, so to recap: this place has powers and…you don’t have your memory from before you were here and there was a war and your siblings died, and now I’m the first human to cross the magical threshold in a century?!” 

“Yep, that sounds about right.” He replied, nodding. 

“I’ve gotta be dreaming. Wake up!” You yelled. Nothing happened. The men just stared at you like you grew a third arm.

“Ugh, why isn’t it working?” He sat down on the bed, next to you as you slapped your face.

“Please stop doing that, you’ll give yourself a concussion at this rate.” He said with a softer tone. You felt oddly compelled to listen to everything he said without protest. Technically, he did save you. You blushed as he grabbed your arms to keep you from smacking your forehead a fifth time.

“I uh…thanks for saving me,” You sighed. “Actually, I was in danger before you found me anyways…” You weren’t sure if you wanted to share.

“It’s okay. You sound shaken up. Makes sense, you were trapped there for a long time. Look at your skin, you’ve been sweating so much, and your body is barely sitting up straight. We need to get you some food and proper care immediately.” He said, making your heart skip a beat yet again.

Your stomach grumbled just as he said that. Damn you!

“Uh…sir?” You asked hesitantly.

“Yes?” He parted his lips and looked at you with so much focus you thought you would explode.

“What’s your name?” 

“Jungkook.” He smiled at you.

“I’m Y/N.” You smiled back at him.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” He kissed your hand. He let his lips linger there for a moment and looked back at the other men before looking back at you. “I’ll let my friends here introduce themselves to you. I gotta take Lavender on a walk.” He said, before leaving through the front door.

“I’m Seokjin. ‘Jin,’ for short.” The blonde said, standing tall.

“And I’m Jimin. Also go as ‘Jimmy,’ or ‘Chim.’ But only my friends call me that really.” The pink haired one scratched his head.

“Okay, I have a weird question for you guys but…promise not to judge?” You asked, blushing a bit as you tried not to stare at the outlines of their bulges.

“What is it?” Jin asked curiously.

“Why are you wearing tights?” 

It was as if you asked ‘how do you breathe?’ to them, as they started roaring with laughter.

“Honey, I don't know what to tell you. We’ve always worn tights. Why do you ask?” Jin asked, completely oblivious to the fact that even though he was wearing shorts the tights did press down on his dick.

You look at Jimin, who was wearing the shirt and suddenly noticed it was JUST the shirt. You licked your lips. That was very interesting to know that you were seeing everything below the shirt, even though he was wearing tights.

“You’re not wearing pants.” You said.

“Of course I’m not! I never wear pants.” He folded his arms. 

“He’s protesting them because the rest of us tease him about his habit about walking around naked in his house.” Jin shared with you.

“I get it. So you all live alone?” You asked, changing the subject. That’s enough ogling Jimin’s obvious bulge for now. At least you had confirmation he was pantsless.

“Yeah. We do.” Jin says. “There’s seven of us, at the moment.” 

“Oh?” You perked up. There were more? If the trend follows they were all gorgeous men.

“Might I add, Jungkook was right,” He slowly let his fingers trail down your chin. “You are quite interesting to look at. We’ve never seen anyone with your eye or hair color around, and that skin tone.” He was vague, but that was okay, as you knew you were exhausted and didn’t look your best.

“Sorry…I think I need a shower.” You felt rude, but Jimin walked you out of the bed towards it. The shower and bathroom was pretty similar to home so you were thankful. After you were done you changed back into your bloody clothes, which caused both Jin and Jimin to freak out.

“Here, take my shirt!” Jin said, throwing off his button down.

“You can take my tights,” Jimin said, and before you could stop him…penis.

You were staring. It was just..out in the open. And Jin wasn’t even batting an eye! Did these men have no concept of shame? You blushed. He wasn’t even wearing underwear.

“What?” Jimin looked at you. “Did I say something?” Jin shrugged as you simply ogled Jimin.

“S-sorry. Uh…in my world it is customary for men and women to not show their genitalia to each other unless they are practicing sexual relations with each other.” You explained.

“Sexual…” Jimin started.

“Relations…?” Jin finished.

“What’s that?” They both had no clue what the fuck sex was. Your mind went to a very bad place. You decided, the opportunity doesn’t present itself often, you needed to get your mind off the fact that a few hours ago your uncle kidnapped you, and Jungkook had gotten you horny beyond belief. Not to mention, these two seemed more than intrigued by you anyways.

“You want me to show you?” You raised a brow.

“Show us how?” Jimin asked, his cock swinging back and forth as he spoke.

“You know the thing you use to pee with?” You asked.

“Yeah,” Jimin smiled. “My penis.” He said.

“Correct. Did you know you could also put it in something and make it feel good?” You said, smirking.

“Like what?” He asked.

“Anything, different textures. Obviously you’re both novices so I’ll just give you something easy to start with,” You looked around and noticed two pumpkins sitting on the counter, with all the seeds scooped out of them. “Oh, I know…guys, is Jungkook using those pumpkins?” You ask.

“No, he was planning to throw them out soon cause they go bad in a few days.” Jin says.

“Okay great. So I want you guys right now to take the pumpkins,” You say, smirking as you had a great idea to ‘teach’ them, without fully corrupting them just yet. They listen to your instructions. “Pull down your tights and take out your penises,” You tell them. They do that. “Now, slowly move your penis into the hole Jungkook cut out, it should be big enough,” You observe them slowly, smirking as they started, eyebrows furrowed like they were learning a new skill. “Every time you move your hips back and forth, it’s called fucking,” You say. “Congrats on learning how to have sex. Basically, you just masturbated, or ‘self-pleasured.’” You tell them, clapping.

“Fucking. Mmm…Y/N, this feels really good.” Jimin groaned. His moans just got you riled up.

“I feel like I might explode, from the inside…” Jin said, his white shirt patched with sweat, and you could see his nipples were erect through the shirt.

“Let it happen, it feels like you’re about to pee? That’s called an orgasm.” You said.

“Orgasm,” Jimin repeated. “O-orgasm….Y/N, I’m about to orgasm!” He said, as if he had just learned a new vocab word.

“Come for me Jimin, baby…come for me.” You whispered against his ear, sucking the shell of it as he continued fucking into the pumpkin, the sound of his cock hitting the back of it could be heard. The slosh of Jimin’s and Seokjin’s cocks moving in and out of their respective pumpkins were all you could hear at the moment.

“Ahhhh nnnnnggg…” Jimin moaned, filling the pumpkin with his semen at the same time as Jin, who came and groaned, looking at you ecstatically.

“That was great!” Jin smiled. “I wanna do that all the time!” He told you.

“Well that’s the thing about sex, it’s good. It feels good, or is supposed to feel good.” You explained. “I haven’t had sex in a few months.” You sigh.

“Do you wanna try?” Jin handed his cum-filled pumpkin to you in hopes of trying to cheer you up. 

“Sorry, Jin,” You pushed the pumpkin back to him, crinkling your nose a bit. The smell of cum wasn’t bad, it was just the idea of having cold cum on your hands. “Women have a different anatomy than men. I might as well teach you guys the second lesson.” You explain.

“Hm?” Jimin asked.

You slowly pull off the tights Jimin lent you. The men crouch down, so they can take a look. They were staring at your panties.

“You’ve never seen underwear before?” You asked.

“No.” Jin said, staring intently between your legs.

“Us women have a different body structure than yours. We don’t have penises to fuck pumpkins with…” You said, chuckling slightly at the end of your sentence. “…instead we have wombs and holes that are meant to be fucked…” You slowly pulled off your panties to show them, blushing pink as they stared at your exposed clit.

“Oh…” Jin looked at it, with a mouth-watering expression.

“Wow…it’s so pretty.” Jimin said, complimenting you.

“C-can I touch it?” Jin asked. You knew this was already a pretty slippery slope but he was the one asking.

“Yeah, sure, if you want.” You whispered. Jin slowly squeezed on your clit, and circled his fingers around slowly.

“Does that feel good, Y/N?” He asked, staring directly at you. “It smells so yummy,” He whispers. “Can I eat it?” Oh god.

Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.

“H-huh?!” Jimin looks at Jin with a blush too. “No fair-I wanna eat it!” Jimin said.

“O-or…” You piped up. You should probably stop talking. “You could both share it.” You said, slowly taking their hands and placing one on either side of your inner thighs while you sat on the bed.

“Okay…” Jimin nodded.

“Yeah, I don’t mind.” Jin said in agreement. They both slowly slid their tongues up your clit as you moaned. It had been too long since you had a guy or two go down on you. 

“Sorry, does it hurt?” Jimin was confused but he had the right idea as you groaned.

“Mm, no, it feels good.” You admit. You sigh, before Jin slowly trailed his tongue down to your sweet spot. You gasped.

“Ah, watch it…that’s the hole…” You tried to explain. “Like the pumpkin?” He didn’t say it like he was clarifying, it was almost like he caught on what you were trying to do. One thing you knew for sure was that these guys learned fast…perhaps their intellect was also enhanced in this colorful twisted Strawberryland. “I understand…so you want us to stuff your wet fleshy hole in the same way?” He said, now using a bit of his saliva to part your inner lips, spreading it apart to get better access to you. You let out a ghastly moan as your juices mixed with his, and as Jimin kept sucking your clit all while this was happening all you could do was moan out, your eyes squeezed shut.

“That makes her feel good, huh?” Jimin’s voice was raspy now, as he panted, staring at your body almost like he was taking you in before destroying you.

“Let’s do the fucking,” Jin said, toying with your clit and using another finger on your exposed opening as your body sucked him in with ease. Your weeping cunt was forced to take his fingers, as he realized he could fuck you with two instead of one. “She’s like a keyboard, Jimin, we play her with our fingers and she makes wonderful music with her lips.” Jin said so innocently yet with his erotic expression and the raging boner he was rocking you begged to differ. 

“Maybe she’ll like it here…she’s also a little sour.” Jimin asked, as he moved his hands further up your body to try and find your other weak spots. Then he stopped at your breasts, squeezing them through your bra and shirt. Jimin lifted your shirt off your body before you could protest. 

“W-wait…” You whispered, but Jin was already too busy licking your sopping clit and thrusting his digits in and out of your hole while Jimin was focused on the new part of you he had just discovered.

“So that’s what you look like underneath…” Jimin said with a light glimmer in his eyes. “I wanna fucking you.” You suppressed a giggle at his flimsy attempt at using the word but soon enough it turned into a moan as he pinched your nipples, hard.

“Ah!” You screamed.

“What’s the matter? Don’t you want me to help you orgasm?” Jimin asked, with a small pout on his lips.

“Y-yes, but…it hurts when you squeeze me like that. Don’t be too rough, okay?” You told him gently.

“Sorry.” He leaned in and kissed you softly at first, while you thrust your hips back and forth reflexively on Jin’s fingers. Jimin’s lips were plump and juicy as his ass looked earlier in those tights, and you could taste a faint hint of raspberries on them…he tasted like a sweet treat! He kneaded your breasts with his hands, circling them around as you came on Jin’s hands and face.

“Cumming!” You moaned, as you came to a climax. Your body was still aching for more though, as Jin licked up your juices and trailed kisses down to your clit again before stringing beads of your cum back up with his nose. The sight in itself was marvelous. “Please give me your cocks,” You begged. “I need it.” You whispered, with a shell of a moan.

Just as Jin was about to speak and Jimin was playing with your breasts some more, you heard the front door open and a few moments later, footsteps. You stopped your activities when the door swung open and in came Jungkook, who looked confused.

“W-what’s happening?” He asked, noticing how you were naked, sprawled on the bed between Jimin and Jin in a compromising situation.

“Um, nothing!” You quickly hid behind the sheets, as Jimin tried to continue grabbing you. “Jimin, stop!”

“Why are you suddenly so shy? You were begging for our penises just moments ago.” He said with a seductive inflection in his voice.

“That’s because-it’s private! You normally don’t do that with just anyone. I was just showing you and Jin because you asked.” You explained, blushing as Jungkook simply tilted his head in confusion. You saw his eyes filled with curiosity and innocence too, but alas, you couldn’t corrupt him too!

“Ah, no fair. Can’t we just show Jungkook too? I mean, you can’t blame us. You’re the first human woman to show up here that knows about this. We have never even heard of “sex” before you showed us!” Jimin said excitedly.

“You do have a point there…” You said. “Jungkook, would you like to see my pussy?” You asked, covering yourself still with the thin blankets.

“Pussy?” Jungkook’s face turned a faint pink. “O-oh, you mean like…” 

“Wait, could it be that you know about it, Jungkook?” Jin asked, slinging his arm around the man as he scratched his head.

“I learned it from Doctor Genus, the berrymuchkin prodigy,” Jungkook explained. “Remember, I was trying to learn to become a Doctor because of the shortage in hospitals?” Jungkook explained. He looked at you, with widened eyes. “I’ve never seen one of our own species before…I do wonder what it looks like.” He said.

“So you wanna see it?” You asked. Jin and Jimin licked their lips, as Jungkook replied.

“Yes.”

At once, Jimin and Jin pulled the covers off you to reveal your naked body to Jungkook.

“Wow…it’s so…pretty,” Jungkook slowly crouched down to inspect it. “Definitely not like a bug,” You felt like his reaction so far has made sense in terms of what you’re used to for men your age (which still in their mid-twenties is still pretty shit considering a lot of them lie about their experience). “May I…inspect it?” You gulped. He was being so respectful. You nodded slightly, spreading your legs so Jungkook could get a better look. “This is great. A real pussy!” He sounded more excited. 

“Yeah. And guess what Jungkook?” Jin said.

“What?” You were a bit afraid of what the two were about to say to him, as you knew if they started they would get hooked on your pussy.

“She gave me and Jimin permission to fucking her.” Of course, the one time he used it grammatically correctly was of course when he was describing it to the one man which probably had a better grasp of sex than the others. You clenched your jaw. What if Jungkook thought you were a whore?

“Fucking?” Jungkook’s lips parted and he let out a sigh, his hands on his hips. “What’s that?” 

You gasped as Jimin, who was fully naked waist down since he gave his tights to you, and Jin, who was still sporting his hard on were right next to you.

“We can show you,” Jimin smirked. “Y/N, do you want us to fucking you?” You smiled at Jimin. He was still learning.

“First; it’s called fuck. You ask if you want to fuck someone. Fucking is the action of doing that. There. And yes, I would love to, but you will have to be more gentle with me than the pumpkin because my body could get more hurt. Remember I was in an accident earlier.” You explained. Jimin nodded, looking more serious. You guessed he got the hint that you were telling him this so he could have better guidance.

“It’s okay. When we’re busy using our fingers on you like you’re our keyboard, you won’t even notice if we’re being a little too rough.” Jin said, grabbing your face so he could kiss you. You groaned as he forced his tongue into your mouth.

“Mmmm…!” You groaned. He tasted like lemons, smelled like them too, but it was more of a citrus smell than just lemons. It smelled like a variety of fruity perfume from Zara. He tasted delectable.

“Get a chair, Jungkook,” Jimin said, as he stroked his pretty pink tip. You moaned, seeing his dick in front of your face as you sat up in the bed and Jin started removing his remaining clothes. “I’m putting it inside, Y/N.” Jimin warned you, as you nodded and he pushed his hips forward. You moaned like a little bitch in heat. You could hear Lavendar barking downstairs.

“Give me a second, Lavender normally never barks. Let me go see what she wants.” Jungkook said, before departing the room.

“It’s okay, he can watch when he gets back. Do you mind still doing it?” You were surprised how Jimin went from being a totally horny boy to asking for your consent before continuing. It was a nice change of pace, but that just told you more about his character than anything.

“Yeah…be careful. Short strokes. Your dick isn’t humongous but it is on the larger side so it may be difficult for you to put it in.” You explained, while Jin watched as Jimin was being careful with your body.

“Okay.” Jimin slowly slid his cock into you with ease, as you were already wet enough. He started thrusting sloppily, unable to do it at an expert level but still reaching your deepest spots with every thrust as he fucked you best he could as a novice.

“Oooooohhh…Jimin!” You groaned. 

“MMmmm…it’s so warm, and gripping me so hard.” He sounded desperate to climax as he held your thighs while you rolled your body back and forth while he thrusted up. Your skin smacked together in a way where the wet noises resounded through the room. Jimin’s pinkish cock was inside of you, and you were even more aroused when you heard voices downstairs and then  the door slammed shut before Jungkook ran back up to join you.

“Sorry that took so long. Namjoon was making his last runs. Just got a fresh batch of oranges!” Jungkook said to Jin as he joined you back upstairs.

“D-don’t worry…y-you didn’t m-miss…much…” Jimin moaned as he was now fucking you in missionary position, now on top of you as opposed to you riding him. You groaned with every thrust and your eyes rolled back as you felt close. “Mmm, gonna….orgasm…” Jimin moaned, kissing your neck as you groaned and rubbing his face in your breasts before thrusting fully and sending you to your own personal creampie heaven as he came. 

You loved creampies, of all shapes and sizes and varieties. It was your main kink. So the thought of getting gangbanged and potentially creampied was your biggest dream come true. This right now, with Jimin, Jin, and Jungkook, all felt like a dream. You groaned as your body rocked and you chased your high, thrusting your hips upwards in hopes of drawing out the orgasm and using Jimin’s pretty pink cock to get yourself off. You came, just as he pulled out, you actually squirted. 

“I…” You said, too overstimulated to move as he didn’t touch you for a moment. 

“What was that?” Jin asked in confusion.

“Did you pee?” Jimin asked in a teasing tone.

“N-no, I squirted, it rarely happens to girls when they orgasm but it typically contains cum…and just a hint of urine,” You explained sheepishly. “Sorry, let me change the sheets.” You tried standing up but wobbled and fell back down on the bed. Jimin held you tightly, as if he was comforting you.

“Try not to stand too quickly. Besides, Jin here wants to also try out your hole,” Jimin said gently. “Are you sure you can handle that?” You were still slicked with cum and your own jism that you didn’t care.

“Yeah.” Was all you said as Jin slid beside you, while Jimin moved off the bed. It was a queen sized bed so it definitely wasn’t all that spacious for three people. Jimin and Jin were kneeling while they ate you out earlier too so that’s why it worked out. As for now…Jin teased your entrance with his fingers before pushing his cock in with ease. In contrast to Jimin, Jin was a more passionate and aggressive lover, pulling you close to him and making sure you could see his face while he piledrove his dick into you. You gasped and shuddered with every thrust, he was facing you, you could see how his hips met yours, and how his cock couldn’t completely fit in, so he went only halfway. You had to measure later but you wanted to say he was closer to 10 inches?

“Jimin’s right, it is warm and tight…” Jin smirked. “I like pussy.” Jin said with a cheeky tone in his voice.

“Y-you better, it’s meant to be enjoyed.” You said back seductively, moaning into the pillow as he pounded you for all you were worth.

“Jungkook, isn’t she something else?” Jimin said as he sat on a beanbag next to Jungkook.

“Yeah. She’s beautiful. And this is…sex?” Jungkook looked like he was making mental note of it as he watched Jin’s cock slide into your hole once more.

“Yep, and she’s a fantastic teacher.” Jimin said with a grin.

“I wanna have sex…” Jungkook looked at you with lust.

“Mmmhmm, me too, Jungkook.” Jimin smirked, looking back at you. “Here, let me show you how to masterbate…” Jimin slowly tugged his own cock, looking back at you and Jin on the bed as if he was watching an early morning special. Jungkook followed suit, removing his joggers to reveal his throbbing tanned dick, which was at least 8 inches. It was a bit bigger than Jimin’s, which already was pretty big to begin with. Do all the men here have big penises? You wondered. You watched Jungkook and Jimin stroking themselves, moaning as Jin continued fucking you before blowing his load. You gasped and your pussy clamped down on his cock, sucking him in before the white volcano splashed and the suction loosened, letting him go with a slow squelch. Your body collapsed out of fatigue.

“That’s enough for tonight, guys. She’s exhausted. Let’s let her sleep.” Jungkook ushered the other men out of his house after lending Jimin and Jin some spare tights and then switched off the lights. He bought you some dinner while checking up on you.

“Aw, thank you Jungkook,” You smiled at him. Suddenly your face turned pale. “Uh, did you by chance throw those pumpkins out earlier?” You asked. Jungkook furrowed his brows in confusion before nodding.

“Yeah…why?” He asked.

“Whew, nevermind,” You wiped the sweat off your brow while Jungkook watched you eat for a bit. “Why do you all look at me like that?” You asked, having had enough of the staring for a day.

“Sorry if it’s weird, we have just never seen a woman in so long, especially one that looks like you. And I know I told you of our past, but it’s so much more complicated when…” He fell silent. “I used to have a sister,” He sighed, before leaning back, the dim lighting of the bedroom was enough for you to make out that he was pondering something. “After the damn war, she was lost. So were the others. You’ll get to meet the remaining few tomorrow, the other humans I mean. And maybe Mr. Caterpillar.” Jungkook said with a small smile.

“I hope so,” You smiled back at him. “And I hope they’re just as nice as you guys have been to me so far,” Jungkook smiled a bit, before leaning in. “Y/N, may I taste your lips?” You raised a brow.

“Huh?”

“Every one of us has a distinct taste. Jimin tastes like Raspberries, Jin like lemons, and me, like plums. I wonder…since you’re not from around here what you taste like?” You were a little weirded out. How the hell does he know what his friends taste like? Although, honestly earlier while you were kissing them you noted their delicious tastes. You wondered if they all regularly made out or something to know that. “What are you thinking about, I wonder, silly girl?” Jungkook called you silly.

“Hey, I am not-” He leaned in and kissed you. After a second, you kissed back. He was really good at that. You wished all boys would shut you up the same way. After a small amount of time, he kissed your forehead and bid you adieu. You fell back, and it was off to dreamland.

You were awoken to the sound of the door opening, you weren’t expecting him to be back so soon but you supposed he couldn’t hold back after seeing you earlier. He slowly slid into bed beside you, hugging you from behind. You don’t know what you were expecting, but you stayed still. Then…you felt wet hot tears on the back of your neck. Was Jungkook…crying? He was. You heard his sobs muffled by him rubbing his face into your back and his hands.

“Plum…I miss you so much…” He cried softly, and after a while his breathing slowed. You sensed he was asleep, so you turned around to find him passed out like a baby. You slowly wrapped your arms around him and stroked his shoulders as he nestled his head into your neck while he slept. You spooned him as you gradually also followed suit, and drifted back to sleep.

When you awoke Jungkook was still sleeping. He was gorgeous. He looked like any regular ol’ human, minus the purple hair and eyes, but he was. And his skin was pale, but not so pale it washed him out. You watched him sleep for a few more seconds before he shifted and his eyes met yours with a sleepy, “Good morning,” From him.

You smiled and kissed him softly, as he hummed and pulled you on top of him. “You noticed me?” He asked. “Sorry for sneaking into your bed in the middle of the night. I just had lots of memories…” Jungkook yawned. “Anyways, wanna get breakfast?” You gave him a sad sigh, but nodded.

“Sure, watchu got?” You asked him.

“Oranges!” He set them down in front of you after you joined him downstairs. Because you wanted some dignity, you had wrapped one of Jungkook’s shirts around your hips as a makeshift skirt. It was baggy and loose so it sat around your hips nicely after you had tied it best you could.

“Thanks,” You ate the fruits and then saw the puppy. She ran out of her doghouse to greet you. “Hi puppy!” You pet her as she yapped in your face.

“She’s happy to see you alive and well!” Jungkook smiled at you, grinning. “By the way, you taste like…whatever you eat! I tasted the noodles I got for you last night.”

“Yeah, that’s generally how it works for us normal humans.” You explained to Jungkook while playing with Lavender.

“Is that right?” Jungkook finished cutting up some more fruits. “Anyways, I have to get to work soon, but you’re welcome to join me today if you wish. You’re probably sore from Jimin and Jin’s…uh….play session yesterday, right?” You nodded.

“That’s alright. But…I do wanna return the favor to you Jungkook,” You hugged him softly. “You’re just so damn cute..” You whisper, trailing your hands over his tracksuit pants again. 

“Ah-ah….Y/N, what are you doing to me?” You tie your hair back, and get on your knees.

“Jungkook, can I please suck you off?” You asked directly. That was required in this land where the men are hot but their brains don’t have a clue about it.

“Uh….are you sure?” He asked softly. “I-I…don’t wanna pressure you…”

“I’m fine.” You looked up at him for confirmation before he finally gave you a yes. You immediately got to work, all while his dog whined from her doghouse on seeing you fuck her owner with your mouth. You knew sex wasn’t a concept here but you were ready to change that. Damn your overactive sex drive.

You sucked from base to tip, kissing his veiny length as best you could, before licking the surface in full and using your mouth to pleasure him. You had to be careful so your teeth didn’t scrape him but in hindsight, all attempts were successful as within five minutes, he came in your mouth. You guzzled his cum, opening your mouth wide as he released it all, and lapped up the remaining strings of semen off his thighs. His cum tasted sweeter too, just like vanilla or whipped cream. You knew it had to do with this wonderful berry land.

“Yum.” You said with a final huff. He hadn’t said a word apart from moaning every time you sucked him in, but he simply kissed you and wiped excess off your face.

“Thank you.” Jungkook smiled at you, panting slightly.

“My pleasure.” You smirked, washing your mouth before untying your hair again.

Jungkook took you into town. He said he used to help his sister with her dance studio but after a while passed it to his berry best friend, Hoseok. You were to meet him next, and you were nervous as you learned the guy was a professional dancer. You’d always wanted to give it a shot and Jungkook invited you to go to a practice lesson but today you were just visiting the studio. Jungkook still collected rent on the place, and today Hoseok’s rent was due.

When you walked in, you noticed tiny creatures running around and dancing. They looked like children, and you looked at Jungkook with confusion.

“Those are the mini-berrykins. They are produced once every winter when the spores spread from the trees and a new batch of 12 appears.” He explained.

“So they’re like…baby berrykins?” You asked.

“Yeah, I guess you can say that, in a way.” You and Jungkook walked up to the instructor, who was a red haired man, who looked to have a heart shaped smile and a very adorable and cheerful face. He was also very attractive. Your heart skipped a beat as he turned around and greeted you both.

“I hope you’re having a wonderful day, Jungkook Pudding,” He said with a smile. “Oh and who’s this? A new friend?” He peered at you with a curious expression. Upon closer inspection, he had a red themed outfit too, to match the cherry beret he was sporting. You noticed he looked similar to Jungkook with his casual leisurewear, which unlike Jimin and Jin with the tights, he was wearing dark magenta cargo pants and a hot pink and purple polka dotted t-shirt. He still looked hot, even with the outfit. You thought he’d look like a clown but he ended up looking better than you’d expect from a dude in such a fit.

“I’m Y/N.”

“Welcome to the dance studio Y/N. I’m glad you could join me today. I’m Hoseok Jam, I moved to town last so it’s strange seeing another new human being here,” He scratched his neck as you simply smirked at him. He probably had a better idea of what was what. “Especially a girl.” He added with a grin.

“So Y/N here was in a car accident and she was in trouble. So I brought her with me and she’s staying at my house,” Jungkook explained softly. “She’s been teaching me a lot of new things.” He said.

“Really? Like what?” Hoseok asked with a twinkle in his eyes. “Do you dance?” He asked you.

“Well, not really. But…I was teaching Jungkook about sex yesterday.” You explained sheepishly. There was no point in being a prude when no one in town knew any better.

“Sex…?” Hoseok looked clueless.

“She can teach you,” Jungkook looked at you with a soft gaze. “Right, Y/N?” You were already leaning against the barre, as Hoseok and Jungkook walked up behind you.

“Right. I’ll try my best,” You looked at Hoseok. “It helps you dance. It’s sorta like dancing but….dirtier.” You tried explaining.

“Oh? Dirty how?” Hoseok was inquisitive, that’s for sure. “What is it?” He asked with a soothing voice. You felt hypnotized as he pulled you towards him. You were a couple inches away from his face. Jungkook had turned on some music so you could dance.

It took you a moment, as the upbeat pop song urged Hoseok to move more vigorously, and he slowed down, grinding his hips against yours as you smirked and got close and personal with him. He grabbed your ass, smirking cheekily. You had a feeling these men weren’t as clueless as you originally thought, either that or you awakened something within him.

“Mmmm…you mind?” Hoseok asked as he grabbed your thigh.

“What?” You bit your lip, as he trailed his hand down. 

“I wanna make sure if I touch you, that you’re okay. Teach me this new ‘dance’ then?” Oh….he was asking. And Jungkook was watching for now, but slowly stepped over to you, pulling your shirt off your body swiftly.

“Oh she’s more than okay with it…” Jungkook answered for you, slightly rubbing your hardened nipples through your bra. “...See that? It means her body is ready to be fucked.” The tone he used, the way he sounded while he was kneading your breasts, it was as if his innocence was a charade, merely an act kept up by him before his true nature was brought to the surface.

“That’s not…you know you have to ask before you do this sort of stuff?” You said with a faint blush dusting your cheeks.

“What? Really? Because it seems like you’re pretty much up for everything regardless…” Jungkook pouted slightly. “Can’t we just do it whenever we feel like it?” It seemed Jungkook had your enthusiasm confused for consent. You didn’t blame him, from your previous actions it seemed like you were more than ready to consent to that.

“I suppose you have a point…but still, asking never hurts!” You coddled him as if he was a child.

“Okay…I promise to ask,” Jungkook hugged you softly, wrapping his arms around your waist while Hoseok ogled your breasts as Jungkook unclasped your bra. “Can I fuck you now?” 

You couldn’t say no, not when you saw his eyes. You began kissing him and Hoseok looked on with curiosity. You smirked, before breaking the kiss and turning to kiss Hoseok. Hoseok was a little confused at first, but slowly responded by placing his hands on your shoulders and leaning down so he could meet your lips. He tasted vaguely like cherries.

“Mmmm.” He moaned. “Ah…you’re hard…” You whispered as you saw his cock bulging through his pants. It was begging to be freed, while you looked at Jungkook with half-lidded eyes. “Jungkook, Hoseok, remove your pants.” You told them in a lowered voice. You prayed nobody would walk in but it looked like everyone had left. Now you, Jungkook, and Hoseok were positioned on the floor on a foam matt as Jungkook was at your head and Hoseok was positioned between your thighs. He was exploring you, following whatever his body urged him to do as you groaned between them. Jungkook held you on his lap, smirking and encouraging Hoseok.

“Oh, she liked that. Suck her there again, Hoseok.” Jungkook smirked at him. You simply moaned, as Hoseok’s tongue swept over your folds, and he suckled your clit.

“Ah!”

“She tastes so good….in a different way. I’ve never tasted anything like it.” Hoseok said with a small smile.

“I know, that’s just her pussy. Her lips taste better in my opinion,” Jungkook smirked, before leaning forward and spreading your pussy cautiously. “Now just put your penis in here. Trust me, it is so much better than going to the bathroom.” Hoseok was confused but watched with curious eyes as you guided his cockhead into your pulsing hole, as you groaned from his size. He was a grower, something you hadn’t experienced in Strawberryland yet.

“It’s so warm…I feel like I might pee.” Hoseok groaned, closing his eyes. “W-wait, don’t pee! It’s only for pleasure.” You said with an exhausted moan.

“You tired, Y/N?” Jungkook asked, holding you tighter. “A little…” 

“Let’s change the position. Hoseok, how about we continue this in your office?” Jungkook reminded him of the rent again. It was so wonderfully debauched as you took Jungkook’s cock in your mouth and Hoseok’s cock from behind, while they talked about the rent and finances in Hoseok’s office. You were propped on the desk on all fours, moaning like a bitch in heat.

“Yeah, so the projected rate looks like it’s only growing. I don’t doubt that but I would like to see how it changes based on the changes I proposed.” Jungkook said, placing a hand on his chin as he pushed his cock all the way into your mouth. You choked, groaning as he ignored you and kept going despite seeing how it affected you.

“Mmmmm, too much.” You croaked, but he responded by gripping your hair and thrusting into your mouth harder. Hoseok noticed and picked up the pace, fucking you at a slightly more advanced pace now.

“I think it’ll be f-fine. Ah, I’m…I feel strange, Jungkook.” He said, gripping your waist.

“How so?” Jungkook questioned.

“Something is coming out of me, and going into Y/N.” He gripped your sides harder, his fingers forming small red marks on your skin.

“It’s an orgasm, Hoseok. You’re cumming.” You explained between breaths, moaning and gasping and letting go of Jungkook’s cock as Hoseok came all over your ass. He had pulled out, luckily, and decided not to cum inside you. You still weren’t sure what the consequences were but it was exciting nonetheless to have sex with so many gorgeous men thus far.

After bidding Hoseok goodbye, Jungkook took you to visit three more of his friends. Luckily, they were all together, busy with selling fresh fruits to the citizens of Strawberryland. You met Yoongi Shortcake, Taehyung Muffin, and Namjoon Blossom. You also found out that Namjoon was the one that delivered those oranges to Jungkook’s house the night before. Their personalities: all different. Yoongi was more introverted, he didn’t say much but his bright pink hair made you believe he was a real life anime character. He certainly looked handsome enough to be one, that’s for sure.

Taehyung had shockingly bright blue hair and a blue outfit to match, and he was extroverted, quickly offering you a fresh cookie after hearing about the car crash and hearing that you were in an unfamiliar world. His touch was warm, and he made you feel comfortable. Namjoon had a ‘dad’ type of vibe. When you met him, he gave you a smile and chatted with you about sales. He was really cute, all in all.

All three had their own charm, and every guy treated Jungkook like he was their little brother. You loved how close they were.

“So those were all the humans in town. It’s just us seven.” Jungkook said as he laid down on his couch after you arrived back to his home.

“I’m glad you have each other.” You said with a small smile.

“Oh I forgot, tomorrow, we’re having a bake off. Any dish we want,” Jungkook smirked. “I’m gonna win this year.”

“How do you know that?” You folded your arms.

“Just a feeling. So Y/N, how do you feel about having more fucks?”

After sleeping on it, you agreed to his idea. Jungkook, every man that met you here, so far everyone had been more than willing to indulge in you. Your hair was different, and biologically, a woman. They had some sort of a male instinct awakened in them whenever they looked at you.

Luckily, you were able to get cuter clothes from a Bug Shop which Jungkook agreed to buy if you agreed to help him. So, in your new green themed corset dress, and white tights and black Mary Janes, you walked over to help Jungkook setup. He smirked when he saw how the other men looked at you, like he anticipated it. He nodded at you and licked his lips but didn’t say much as you went around to talk to the others.

You walked up to Namjoon first, who was unfolding some chairs but stopped abruptly upon seeing you.

“Hey Y/N,” He scratched his neck. “You look lovely today.” He smiled shyly.

“Thanks Namjoon. I’m just wishing everybody good luck.” You winked at him. His dimples were honestly so adorable as he thanked you for wishing him.

“Thanks Y/N,” He stopped. “Hey, would you like to maybe hang out sometime after the competition?” He asked. You were expecting it. 

“Sure,”

You visited Yoongi’s booth next. He had set up everything, sighing when you walked up to him. “Is everything okay?” You asked him.

“No, they gave me the wrong shipments! I was supposed to get strawberries, not blueberries.” Yoongi sighed.

“Blueberries?” Taehyung piped up. “If you’re not using those can I have them? I can always make another batch of my sister’s famous blueberry crème brulee!” Yoongi reluctantly gave Taehyung his ingredients. “Wow, thanks bro!” Taehyung slapped his back and walked off to continue. You felt a little bad for Yoongi, it looked like he couldn’t participate in the bakeoff.

“Yoongi…what about strawberry jam instead?” You asked, showing him the box of extra ingredients. “You could create the same flavor out of these, right?” You asked him for confirmation.

“You have a point but…I’ll use them on one condition.” You stop moving the box.

“What is it?”

“You’ll have to help me.” Yoongi smirked, as if he had been planning this from the start.

“O-okay.” You weren’t going to protest. You didn’t know him well, none of them really, but you knew enough to know they were all really friendly people.

“Start with mixing the batter,” You nodded and followed his instructions. “What are you doing? You’re not supposed to mix the eggshells in with it!” He gaped at you as you took the spoon out in confusion. 

“Sorry, I don’t cook.” You grinned sheepishly. He sighed and started cracking the eggs for you. 

“No eggshells. Those are like poison,” You sighed as he shoved the new bowl into your arms. “Start mixing.” You nodded, getting to work at once.

You set Yoongi back 10 minutes but after seeing how poor your skills in the kitchen were, he eventually took over, only making you watch over the timer. You didn’t mess that up, as at the end, his concoction was done. A custard dish, with strawberry flavored spongecake. Taehyung, who was right next to the two of you glanced over as you worked, and his eyes widened when he saw how it turned out. Then he had a wild idea.

“Wait, you should mix these in. Trust me. It’s gonna be like heaven in your mouth!” He was helping the enemy? You didn’t understand the ethics in Strawberryland and Yoongi accepted extra blueberries from Taehyung. After reworking it and getting another batch out, you noticed how the blueberries enhanced the flavor. Taehyung was right, it’s even better.

With that, Yoongi was crowned the winner. You went to see Jungkook, who was sad but ultimately happy for Yoongi. At least he wasn’t a sore loser. Yoongi looked at Taehyung as he accepted the trophy.

“Actually, I don’t deserve this. If it wasn’t for my friend Taehyung, I would have never won. Everyone give it up for Taehyung: the real winner of the bake-off!” Yoongi said, holding his hand up in victory.

“Really?! Thanks Yoongi!” Taehyung hugged him, laughing and taking the reward. “I think first place should go to everyone!” To your dismay, Taehyung started breaking off pieces of the trophy and handing it to all the participants. 

Okay if you didn’t already think you were dying from blood loss under a tree, you definitely did now. This was some disney channel bullshit! You watched how happy they were, as if this was a resolved ending!

Then night came. Oh how wrong you were. Jungkook invited everyone to the house with you, while offering some sangria. You all had a few sips when the conversation took a turn.

“You think our sisters would be proud of what we’ve become?” Jungkook asked Namjoon as he leaned back.

“If what we’ve become are our better halves the bloodshed would’ve been worth it.” He said with a slur, his eyes shutting as he looked at Jungkook slowly.

What? You were more than confused now.

“We promised not to talk about this,” Yoongi broke the momentary silence. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” He yelled at all of you. “I’m sorry.” He apologized after calming down. You had a feeling something wasn’t right. Why there are only seven humans here and not 15….why Jungkook cried while holding you and saying someone else’s name. You had a gut feeling it didn’t have anything to do with fruity metaphors.

“I know something that can cheer you up.” Jimin said with a cheeky smile. The look on his face and how he looked at you was enough for you to pick up what he was putting down.

“Yeah, and she’s sitting right next to you!” Jin said, lurching forward and pressing a wet kiss against your lips. You gasped into his mouth. “S-sorry, are you okay with me kissing you?” He asked after breaking the kiss.

“Yeah. I’m fine with it,” The wine from earlier had made you horny already so you didn’t mind. You kissed him back best you could which was pretty sloppy already. Then suddenly, Jin was pulled away from you. “Wha? Why’d you sstop?” You asked with furrowed brows, before blinking and realizing that Jungkook had pulled Jin away from you. Jin looked at Jungkook like he could kill him. To which Jungkook responded by tilting your head back and kissing you.

“Y/N, I’m gonna make you my bitch tonight.”

Wait, where’d he learn how to say that?

You were about to ask, before Jimin grabbed you by the neck and took a taste for himself. He tasted lovely, just like raspberries. His plump juicy lips brushed against your chapped, thinner ones. His lips could compare to the feel of a pillow, as plush and soft as he felt, but wetter. Then you realized something as Jimin’s hand wandered down to your panties. As he kissed the side of your neck and his lips wandered down more, you gasped. He suckled. He left a mark. 

How did Jimin know how to leave a hickey?

“My turn…” Namjoon sneered, before kissing you in turn. Your tastebuds felt like they were on air as he kissed you, as he tasted like oranges and lemons. You loved the citrus taste of his lips, which refreshed your own breath. You were panting as he pulled back slowly, he gave you a sultry stare. You felt hypnotized by his gaze, and your body was hot as Jimin slipped your shirt off you unknowingly.

“What’s happening?” You looked at Jungkook for an explanation as he took his shirt off. His skin underneath was flawless, save for a few scars on his body that seemed to have healed from stab wounds, a wide line spread around his torso, almost like someone had dragged it out.

“You figured it out,” He threw his shirt to the floor. “Smart girl.”

“Did you think we were stupid?” Jimin asked as he kissed your ear.

“Of course we know what sex is, you dumb girl.” Jin said, grabbing your chin and forcing you to look up again as he kissed you. Namjoon continued kissing down your jaw, and collarbone.

“You see when we saw you, we knew….we just had to have you.” He said while nipping your collarbone and leaving another mark.

“Ah…you lied…” You sighed, closing your eyes as the men focused more on pleasuring you.

“Not just lied, sweetie, we’ve been deceiving you…so each and every one of us could have a taste of your sweet pussy.” Jungkook’s words turned your insides into mush. You realized it was a great deception after all.

“M-my…huh?” You were confused. “Why me?” They could have chosen literally ANY woman. And chose you.

“Because you’re so cute.” Jimin whispered in your right ear.

“And your body is so sexy.” Jin whispered in your left.

“And we haven’t had a woman in years. It’s been too long.” Namjoon groaned, releasing your skin from the clutches of his teeth.

“It has…?” You wondered about that. Why there were only men in this town.

“Yeah. You see, every time we feel the urge, we turn to each other but…it’s not cutting it anymore. An ass isn’t the same as a pussy and we decided enough is enough. And now….we want yours.” Jimin licked his lips, before kissing you again, his fruity scent mingling with yours. You loved the way he tasted! How they all tasted distinctly like fruits.

“But the car crash…” You looked out the window of Jungkook’s house.

“Forget him.” Jungkook said, standing up.

“What?”

“Forget about your uncle. As of now, he is none of your concern. He tried to hurt you. I saw it. Lavender alerted me and I saw how he was startled and crashed into the tree, but then I saw you, and I knew you were helpless. You were drugged Y/N. Did you know that?”

You didn’t.

“You saved my life.” You said again. “Thank you.” 

“No need. I wanted to. We have each other now,” Jungkook placed a hand on your chin. These men loved doing that to you. “Will you have us?” 

You took one look at all of them and knew this was better than any alternative you could have imagined. They all wanted you, desired you as a woman. You had never felt this loved in your life. And they were giving it to you.

“Yes.”

Jin lifted you up to the master bedroom, with the six men in tow, right behind you as he opened the door to the room. You were nervous with anticipation as he gently set you down.

“Be mine…” He whispered. You nodded as he began kissing you and removed your tights. You sighed, as he kissed down your face and then pulled back, now Yoongi and Taehyung staring down at you. Red and pink mingled together as the three of you shared a kiss. You groaned, Yoongi tasted like strawberries while Taehyung tasted like blueberries. It tasted like a smoothie in your mouth, as you gasped, groaning while Taehyung smirked and suckled one of your nipples while Yoongi worked on the other. Both men were eager to have you now, while Namjoon and Jin stood behind them, patiently waiting for their turn.

Jimin, Jungkook, and Hoseok were of no concern to you as there was too much to focus on. Taehyung’s blue hair under your fingers, Yoongi’s pink hair buried between your legs as he explored your clitorous, and Taehyung’s face next to yours as you studied him.

He was handsome, with a round face and well defined jaw, he appeared to be ethereally gorgeous. They all were gorgeous, but Taehyung’s beauty felt like something blessed by a god. You could feel a warmth from his smile and his gaze out you at ease. His wide smile and cherry red lips made you feel hot, as you blushed and looked down at Yoongi.

“Oh…he’s doing a good job?” Taehyung teased you as you could merely glance at the man, foaming at the mouth.

Yoongi was beautiful as well, his eyes drooped as if he was tired but naturally very pretty and green as he stared at you. His stare enraptured you, as he reminded you of a cat with how steadily he moved his hands down your left mound, and flicked his tongue over your exposed pink slit. You let out a moan.

“Y-oongi!” 

“Mmm?” He whispered, vibrations against your pussy as he answered tiredly.

“That feels good.” You whined.

“Sweet girl, of course it does. He’s eating it well, right?” Taehyung’s comment was so innocent and erotic at the same time as he cupped your breasts at the same time. “Shall I eat your cunt too?”

You gasped, as both men fucked you with their tongues at once, making you remember what Jimin and Jin did for you the day before.

“She tastes so good, I can’t stop.” Yoongi moaned.

“Fuck…I’m hard.” Namjoon groaned, stroking his cock with one hand. You didn’t notice how quickly the others got undressed.

“I must…princess, may I fuck you?” Yoongi asked after pulling away.

“Yes,” You groaned, spreading your legs for him as the dark pink haired man slowly slid into you. You gasped as your pussy wrapped around him snugly and he fit right with you. “Ah!” You let out a ghastly moan.

“Fuck…” Yoongi groaned as the other men watched you get used by him. His cock was making you come undone at the moment, and all they could do was watch.

“Ah…please…gather around me…” You encouraged them as they jerked off around you. Seven cocks, one hole. You gasped as without warning, Hoseok stuffed his in your mouth. You still took it without complaint, as this was expected of you now.

“Ah…Yoongi…” You groaned as he snapped his hips back and forth.

“Yes…” You groaned.

“God, you were just made to take my cock, weren’t you?” You gasped as he made you arch your back. Yoongi was too good at dirty talk. You moaned as some of them came on your face, and your body was covered with white jizz. It was hot, sticky, and smelled good. You bit your lips. The sight was making you even slicker and turned on.

“God, we knew you were a huge slut when you made us fuck those pumpkins but looking at you now, we know you’re a total whore.” Jimin smirked at you, walking forward as he came all over your face. You gawked as he leaned forward and smacked his cock on your cheek, as if you weren’t even a person but rather an object for sexual gratification.

“I am a whore!” You admitted. “A big, dirty whore who loves cock.” You were ready to admit anything so long as you got dicked down. As Yoongi pulled out and left some cum inside you, Taehyung swiftly moved down and had his turn next. He was slightly more gentle with you, grinning as you would moan every time he hit your spot. You noticed he was more focused on giving you pleasure than taking it.

“Ah…that’s a good girl.” He said to you, kissing you softly as you moaned. You groaned into his shoulder as he fucked you deep and hard, but still executing a gentle passion with every movement. And then he pulled out. You groaned, as Jungkook replaced him, and at this point you were far gone.

“Sorry it took so long,” Jungkook pressed a kiss against your forehead as you simply nodded. “Finally.” He sunk into you, moaning as he held you tight. He slowly rutted into you with more passion than the last two, possibly because you connected throughout the past few days.

As time went by, you could only stare into his deep violet eyes, a small breath escaping your chapped lips as you reached out. You were so tired…your eyes heavy lidded as Jungkook came, and you came with him. You needed rest, so you blacked out.

When you came to, the men were whispering around you with worry. They were all concerned about you. It seems they had taken the liberty of wiping you up and giving you a fresh change of clothes. A simple pair of shorts and a blue drop top.

“Sorry for worrying you.” You sat up slowly.

“No, we’re sorry for being too rough with you.” Taehyung shook his head.

“Are you feeling any better?” Namjoon handed you an orange, which you deeply appreciated.

“Yeah. Thanks Namjoon,” You smiled. “I think I’m just tired. Could you guys possibly let me rest a bit before we start again?”

“Of course.” Namjoon nodded.

“Sleep well, princess,” Yoongi kissed you on the forehead. “Thanks for helping me win.” He gave you a small smile which made your heart skip a beat as he walked towards the door and left.

One by one they all left Jungkook’s residence, leaving you alone again. They were all so patient and attentive, it made you worried. You didn’t want to leave but going out and checking on your uncle would have been the right thing to do.

“Y/N…” He hugged you tightly. “I need to tell you somethin…” He gripped your waist tighter. You felt like you couldn’t breathe. “Those damned bugs killed our sisters…killed my lover too. I hope you know that now I have you, I intend on never letting you go.” You were beginning to come to terms with it.

“Okay.” You answered him genuinely. You were fine with it, actually. 

“Really?” He asked with widened doe eyes. 

“Yeah.” You giggled.

“That makes me so happy, Y/N I could kiss you. But that would just lead to fucking, so I’m gonna hold off,” You nodded, as he let go of you and left you to your own vices.

You woke up to Lavender licking you. She was barking up a storm when Jungkook lifted her off you. “Sorry. She got excited.” 

“No problem.” You smiled as he placed her back in her doghouse. 

“We’re planning to meet up at Jimin’s house later. Would you like to come?” You nodded immediately, giddy as the raspberry-themed man seemed to have a slightly more kinkier side you appreciated. The thought was enough to make you aroused again, but instead of acting on it you decided to take a breath. You needed to rest.

Of course, at Jimin’s house everyone seemed to get the message as no one approached you wanting to have sex. However they still looked at you. You made chatter with everyone and enjoyed your time there. It seemed all the men were taken with you and everyone wanted a piece of you. You felt great. 

“So, Jungkook, when is she gonna move out of your place?” Jin asked softly.

“Never! She’s mine.” Jungkook whispered possessively.

“Kook! Play nice.” Namjoon scolded.

“Sorry Joon. Y/N, do you wanna keep living with me?”

“It just occurred to me, I officially have nowhere to live. I happened to come here because of Jungkook.” You answered.

“It’s only right she stays with him. He brought her here,” Jimin nodded. “You like Jungkook a lot, Y/N?” You smiled sheepishly.

“Of course I do.” 

Jungkook and Jimin shared a smile before looking at you. You kept it in mind as you sat down next to Namjoon and snacked on some crackers. After a while, you all started talking about your kinks.

“I don’t know about that one, but try this on for size: when your partner has complete control over you, including when you breathe.” Namjoon laughed.

“Nah, breathplay is child’s play. I’m saying blindfolded bondage is where it’s at.” Taehyung smirked and said in rebuttal.

“I want—hear me out…to be bred. Like stuffed until it’s just cum leaking out of me, y’know?” You explained your kink to the men who were left in shock. All except Yoongi were surprised. 

“You’re such a whore, Y/N,” Yoongi smirked. “You want us to start now? Think you can handle it after yesterday?” He looked at you knowing damn well what he was doing.

“M-maybe not yet. I’m exhausted.” You explained.

They left it alone, shifting the topic as Jimin got some more food out for everyone. You and Jungkook stayed behind to help with cleanup. You suddenly felt Jimin’s lips on your shoulders, through your shirt.

“Chim, you should stop. You know I’m tired.”

“Yeah but I don’t wanna. I want you, Y/N.” You sighed at his plea.

“Okay.” You sighed as he picked you up and placed you on the counter. He swiftly removed your shirt and shorts, followed by your bra and underwear.

“Jimin! I got the leftovers in the tray—Oh.” Jungkook’s face fell when he saw him but then a mischievous smile appeared on his lips as he slipped next to him and joined in on torturing you.

You groaned. 

“Oh crap, Jimin I left my umbrella—” Namjoon stopped in his tracks and his eyes widened as he saw you naked on Jimin’s countertop. Jungkook smirked at him.

“You wanna tap in?” Jungkook smirked. “Me and Jimin were about to have another taste.” 

You gasped as Namjoon and Jimin were both inside you at the same time. Jungkook was watching, as he got more than enough from living with you. You felt them tearing your insides apart, reshaping your holes to fit their cocks. Jimin was entering you from behind, Namjoon in your pussy. Your eyes rolled back as Namjoon moaned and smacked your hips, making you recoil in surprise.

“So fucking tight. Fuck…fuck…” He groaned. “Take my cock…” His words encouraged you as you sighed and continued bouncing back on his cock, your ass smacking against Jimin’s hips every time you would go between them. One would snap his hips while the other pulled back, and it continued in a forbidden pattern. It felt like they were playing a game with you as their pawn.

“Fuck…her asshole is getting stretched out.” Jimin groaned, spitting on your rear end and spreading out his saliva with his fingers. You groaned as you felt your holes stretching out even more with the movements.

“J-Jungkook…I think I can take you too…” You said with uncertainty. You’ve never taken two in one hole before, let alone two in both holes. And now Jungkook was about to join. He sank down, between Namjoon and Jimin.

He slipped in…right into your pussy.

You screamed.

“JUNGKOOK!” 

The movements were becoming faster as the three men grunted in unison, their hips synced in a rhythm as they were closer to their climaxes. Your lips fell open, as you panted, while Namjoon’s face contorted into one of pain, which you assumed meant he was in total heaven. Your climax hit as Jungkook fucked up into you, reaching spots Namjoon missed, while Jimin’s cock rubbed against your inner walls in a different way. They split you apart as the decadent sex between the four of you sent your mind into its own Havana while you orgasmed.

Their cocks touched in ways they never would have thought of, as they finished inside of you. When they pulled out, cum was gushing out of your ass and pussy, while all you could do was watch helplessly.

“That’s a good slut.” Jimin smirked mischievously.

“She’s ours now.” Namjoon said, as if he was still in disbelief.

“I hope you liked being bred, baby. Because there’s a lot more where that came from.” Jungkook said, revealing his erection to you. 

“Again?” You asked.

“Honey, for you, always,” gave you a small smile. “Now open wide.”

[oncewhenalongtimeago]

Sorry, but I Think I Lost Your Plot pt 8

Pairing: Onesided!Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III x Modern!Fem!Reader

Words: 1,794

Hiccup learns. Or, well, he tries. And then he doesn’t.

Tags: Time Travel, Reader into Movieverse, the earth is round, the earth is flat, quiet moments pt 2, Changewings

<Previous - Next>

“Chores?”

“Yeah, you know, fetch water, deliver parts and do laundry. Clean carts, a bit of herding on the side, I wash down dragons sometimes for a few extra coins. Plus doing all of my stuff,” You picked at the sleeves of your tunic then decided better of it.

“Your stuff.” Hiccup stated.

“Laundry, clean out the hay in the barn, cook, repair the shed, which is really nasty by the way, I hate it, something’s always wrong. Like that.”

“That’s… A lot. And you’re not getting paid? For all of it?”

“Yeah. I am, I mean. I get food and board. Coin, I only get that sometimes. The stables get kind of chilly in the winter, otherwise it’s alright.”

Hiccup looked at you oddly, “No, no, it really is not. You live… in the stables.”

Most Vikings even across clans would take the time to hunker down together during the winter, especially during the devastating season even if they hadn’t yet gotten to the point where everyone had to be ushered into the Great Hall together. You knew at least that much, which was maybe why it came across as odd to Hiccup.

“I mean, yeah? I don't see you getting paid for working in the forge.” You shrugged.

“I guess, well, point, but also I get to build what I want with whatever I want. Which can get kind of… expensive.” You nodded. That made sense enough.

“Well, I guess it is what it is. I can’t really be picky, you know.”

You were both sitting on the hill in front of his house. He’d caught you in between jobs somehow. You always seemed to be busy.

There were a few Vikings below putting effort into rebuilding 

“This is really comfy,” You sighed. While making a delivery for the Chief, Hiccup had come by and the two of you had stumbled into each other, getting whatever he had in his arms spilled all over onto your shirt and sizzled a bit.

It probably had something to do with the cleanup going on. You were just glad you cleaned up fast enough to avoid getting burned.

“It’s my favorite,” He said.

“Really?” You sat with your knees up to your nose, arms wrapped around your trousers, which were salvageable, though your skirt was not. Your arms were donned in red fabric of a familiar shade, which was extremely comfortable despite its scratchy exterior.

“You gave it to me, so…” Hiccup shrugged his shoulders oddly. He avoided looking in your eyes as he spoke.

“That’s awfully flattering.” You said kindly. You could tell why it was. Or maybe you were just extra thankful to be in something dry. Whatever Hiccup had been carrying was very sticky and hard to scrub off, which you had a ball doing, hidden away behind a curtain in their home with a small wash bin and rag. 

You spent the whole time in a rush hoping that Stoick wouldn’t come back early and catch you in the nude, or something, despite the irrationality of it. That would be incredibly embarrassing.

“I’m sure,” Hiccup nodded his assent fiddly, before he gestured with his hands, laughing awkwardly, then staring down at his own knees, “But, you know. So, what brings you up here?” 

You yawned, resting your hand over your mouth, “Well… Package for the Chief, mostly. Also, I wanted to say thank you.”

“Thank you?”

“For helping me out, earlier. I would have died, you know.”

There was some drama earlier, a Dragon attack that had something to do with lucky stones, which you didn’t have a lot of time for. 

You paused running, probably not a very smart move, as you spotted a small group on the other side of the clearing standing far enough apart for you to watch and ogle as someone who you thought was Tuffnut pet the base of a fire tower.

“Oh, well,” Hiccup said, scratching his neck, “It was nothing.”

Hiccup was the one who got you out of the way in time. To not die. You owed him another favor, you guessed. You sighed.

In the time it took for either of you to come up with something new to say, Toothless came and lumbered in from the back. You’d seen him wander off there earlier. He probably spent a lot of time out when he wasn’t stuck like glue to Hiccup’s side. Berk was going through a very rare and treasured heat spell, which the dragons were very much taking advantage of.

“What do you think about?” Hiccup asked, leaning backwards.

You blinked at him, and at the set of bandages peeking out from under his green tunic.

“Not much. What I’m going to do later, what’s for dinner. I think about home sometimes. And… The world is round,” It was a bit random. Admittedly, You usually avoided talking about future your-world things, but you had gotten into a tizzy over a few things earlier with one of the Vikings by the fields. Maybe you were feeling a little peckish about it still.

“What?”

“Yeah.”

“But…”Hiccup raised his eyebrow, squinting quizzically, “The world isn’t round.”

This world, apparently, did not operate on cartoon physics. It would have been a really cruel joke on you if it had, you thought, You double checked. It was just the people. So there was no reason as to why they shouldn’t be able to get it.

“You’re kidding, right? Come on, Toothless.” 

Toothless deadpanned at him, turning around to walk away, his tail ending up smacking Hiccup in the head and arms as he made an effort to protect his face.

“Oh, wow, great, thanks, Bud.”

Hiccup squinted, and waved his arms at his dragon, mock brushing him away.

“See? He agrees.” You grinned.

Hiccup turned to look at you, “That’s my best friend, if you would believe it.”

“Are you sure about that?” You sniped, “Because I’m not so sure about that.”

“I can tell.” He deadpanned, shrugging playfully.

You shook your head. There were more important things to be talking about. Like…

“I don’t understand how you guys fly around all the time and you still don’t know the earth is round,” You snickered.

“It’s not,” He insisted, “Flying wouldn’t change that.”

“It would!” You insisted, “It’s all about perspective.”

You shook your head as one of a pair of vikings down below dropped a large log from his shoulder, causing it to roll off and back towards the other houses.

“You’re up in the air, or somewhere up high, really, and you see that the horizon line is round.” You’d been up to Gothi's enough to be sure, “It’s like when you look really close at a ball or something. And the ball is spinning a lot. It’s physics. Science.”

“What kind of science? The Thorston kind? I find it hard to believe, if that’s the case.”

At some point, you realized that, despite it all, he didn’t actually know a lot about you. Where you came from, what your family was like, if you had one. What you liked to do. You really did have to explain.

You wrinkled your nose at his sarcasm, ignoring it as you decided to go on, “The world is really heavy. Like I said, it also spins. Like when you sit on something soft and it sinks. It works like that for both the top and bottom. It’s Gravity.” You used the English word for it.

There was a thump on the roof above you as a flock of Terrors landed by your feet. Probably one from the group. They tended to spin out of control often, especially if it was breezy out.

“It’s common knowledge where I come from,” You said, 

“Is it?” Hiccup squinted, as if he was seeing you in a whole new light. A whole new, mental light, “Well, I don’t know about the whole round thing, but- What next, are you going to tell me that the sun revolves around Midgard?”

“Also yes,” You interjected, with a vendetta, gesturing with both hands, “Why do you guys always lead with that? Is it really that crazy of an idea? Seriously.”

You glowered at him, “I think you all are busted in the head. Or the lightning scrambled your brain, or something, because I have no idea how you’re seeing this.” 

“What? No,” Hiccup said, “No, I’m perfectly healthy.”

“Yeah,” You snorted, “You guys lack what I would call common sense.”

There was a loud rumbling from back inside the Haddock House. It was definitely Toothless. At least someone had your back. It probably didn’t help that the only ones who agreed with you were the twins.

Hiccup turned back to shoot a nasty look at Toothless, probably forgetting about his bandages. And the burnt skin under.

“I probably owe you another favor, don’t I?” You winced as he jerked back around, cursing. It was kind of silly, and kind of nerve-wracking watching his scrawny shoulders curl in over his stomach. 

“Nah,” Hiccup looked up from his knees and feet, resting on the steps to his home, to you, and then back, trying to hide his wheezing, “This one’s… on the house.”

Your hands hovered over his bak unsurely, worried if you tried to help you might agitate his burns more. You would probably take a trip up to Gothi later and ask if she had anything more to use to help.

“And, well, We’re Vikings.” Hiccup grimaced, “And, hey, I have some common sense, too.”

You stayed silent, giving Hiccup a moment as he gathered himself. You hoped he hadn’t any acid left in his skin. You felt awful about it.

Hiccup sat up steadily, and you made sure to scoot back and give him space as he did. He kept an unhandy smile on his face, the corner of his mouth twitching, eyebrows pushing up as you attempted to make sure he was alright.

Your face fell, molding into something more confused, as he mouth a question under his breath.

“Why did you leave?”

“What?”

“Sorry, I’ve just… Been wondering. What brought you to Berk?” Hiccup brought a shaky hand back up to his neck.

You felt your eyes unfocus a bit.

You guessed it was probably the natural progression of things. You wondered whether you were supposed to come up with something, or just not. You decided on something more square in the middle.

“I don’t know,” You huffed, a little lost, “One day I just started walking and ended up here.”

Hiccup looked at you skeptically, though not without sympathy. You were on an island surrounded by all water, but still. You stood up straight, puffing out your chest.

“Take it metaphorically, if you don’t believe me.”

[imthepunchlord]

Okay, so seeing your Zodiac polls made me realize something interesting: If there is one character who could be interesting without miraculous (minus Chloe and Lila, who already had clear roles (albeit shared ones)), it would be Alya.

Alya, with her setup, personality, and interest in being a reporter, could have been very easily set up to be a Lois Lane/Jim Gordan/Renee Montoya-type character. A civilian aid/ally who could help the cast with their public image and even aid in investigations and information gathering. Instead of trying to figure out the heroes' identities (which, given she's a major comic book nerd, you think she would know that would be a terrible idea), she could have helped try to figure out Hawkmoth's identity since it's pretty clear Ladybug and Chat Noir don't know how to do detective work. Heck, even with her blog, she could have used it as a way to fight Hawkmoth by raising mental health awareness and sharing mental health resources to combat his akumas. And given that she was planned to be sup[er tech in earlier versions, she could have become the Duo Oracle/Girl in the Chair, helping the heroes from behind the scenes in her own techy hacker way.

To add to it, it seems like it was late development that planned for Alya to be a hero. All I see of Alya concept art wise has her as Marinette's civilian friend, nothing of her being a hero. It also seems like Alya was a lot wealthier in earlier concept and had some interest in fashion. And of course, still very much a wingwoman.

At most, Alya was in the know, and it seems like it was pretty early on. Probably had the role of being the source of normalcy to Marinette's life, covered for her, and yeah probably helped in other ways.

Over all, it does back that I think Alya is a solid character and has a lot of promise, though wasn't well executed. And she can work whether with a Miraculous or not. There's actually a lot of potential possible plot threads to do with her.

[loopy777]

So I've read 'The Reckoning of Roku'

This isn't a real review, just my impressions and reactions. No spoilers.

I'll start by admitting that to me, Randy Ribay is no F.C. Yee. I vibe perfectly with Yee's stuff, to the point where he's on my "Read Anything They Write" list; I vibe with his genre choices, his dialogue, his characters, his scope, his storytelling, etc. By contrast, Ribay's writing is functional for me, but nothing more, and feels bit more narrow. There are a few instances, even, where I think he made some amateurish wording choices, but most people probably wouldn't be bothered by it and that's likely me just being snobbish. What I'm leading up to is that I think the story is Fine, and I don't have the enthusiasm for it that I do for the earlier Avatar novels, but neither do I think it's bad.

Part of that ambivalence is our familiarity with Roku. Compared to Kyoshi and Yanchen, we know a lot more about him. We have an entire episode of AtLA devoted to his life story. This book finds a slot we haven't explored before, but I think I could summarize the feel of the story by describing the prologue: the book opens after Roku has learned he's the Avatar but before he says goodbye to Sozin, then skips the scene where said goodbye is said (since we saw it the cartoon and I guess there was no desire to novelize it), then resumes the next morning for their final public formal goodbye, all while trying to achieve the same feel and impact of the actual goodbye scene from the cartoon. Similarly, my impression is that the book covers a character arc for Roku which feels very much like what was covered in 'The Avatar & The Fire Lord,' presented as a kind of microcosm of that lifelong story, via events set shortly after he begins his Airbending training.

For all that, though, it fits poorly considering what we already know about Roku. These novels have been very free with retcons, especially when it comes to Avatar Kuruk, but I've been pretty tolerant of that since so little was known about those characters previously and they obviously weren't constructed to be protagonists of their own stories, just props to Aang's. But Roku was a bit more developed and got a whole episode devoted to his life story, so I feel like some things are revealed about him in this book that should definitely have been mentioned in 'The Avatar & The Fire Lord.' Likewise, what we see of Roku's Airbending training in the cartoon doesn't really fit with this story, and I feel like a hint about Sozin's father in the cartoon is interpreted in an awkward way here. None of it "breaks canon" or anything, but it sticks out as a poor fit.

But I'm sounding pretty negative so far. Let's talk about what I like in the book.

Young Gyatso is wonderful. 10/10 no notes, as the kids say.

Sozin is a real piece of work, as he should be.

Ta Min is a lot more interesting than I expected.

As I've noted in a lot of my talk of the AtLA comics and the other Avatar novels, I'm usually very down on forced references to random stuff in AtLA/Lok, and especially needless explanations for elements of those stories which would be better just as something random. However, there's something in this novel that's both a forced reference and a needless explanation, and I thought it was hilarious and wonderful. So good on Ribay for making that work for me. I'm still grinning about it.

The plot is more straightforward than the previous novels, but still creates tension and mystery. It also has a few beats that feel rather mythical, which I always enjoy. And I think it does a great job creating a balanced set of stakes, where things feel urgent and important without leaning on the old Fate Of The World too much.

The story feels complete while also having some very clear paths for the sequel to follow.

So, overall, I think the Avatar novels continue to outshine the comics, even if I don't want to kiss this book.

[fractualized]

Thoughts on how DC comic stories (specifically Batman-related) have been going recently?

(recently can mean whatever you want; I’m sorta thinking more since Tom King left though)

Well, you know, I think it's nice that the two main batbooks are currently not about the entire city being taken over once again. That's a change of pace.

Sure, in Batman we have Wayne Enterprises under threat of takeover in a plot that it turns out was coordinated by the Russians looking for the nuclear codes, but that's not the same as the city's entire populace being lorded over by Failsafe earlier in Zdarsky's run, or by Joker's gang in Tynion's run, or by Bane in King's run…

… OR by the Orghams in Ram V's recently ended Detective Comics run! But Taylor is on 'Tec now, and we're getting cheap drama with Bruce fucking Joe Chill's daughter who is probably murdering teenagers for a youth serum (or is a red herring for such). But at least Asema isn't also plotting to take over the city!! Not yet anyway.

Small plot favors aside, I'd say I'm pretty eh about the Detective Comics storyline thus far and definitely waiting for Zdarsky's Batman run to finish next month. Though when it comes to Batman, I can't say I'm eagerly awaiting "Hush 2" from Loeb and Lee. When I reread the first Hush storyline last year, I came away with like… no feelings about it. Yeah, there's the batjokes near-murder scene but other than that my memory of it is just another unwieldy story with too many twists. If that's what's coming in March… I mean, I'll be there for what looks like Joker as a damsel in distress but in the most neutral "okay we'll see what happens" way. And hopefully what happens isn't the entire city being taken over!!

(The fact that they're calling it "Hush 2" is so weird. So are "Hush Returns" and "Heart of Hush" definitely no longer canon? Or is this upcoming story just "2" in terms of it having the original team? I mean "Hush Returns" was Bad so I wouldn't cry over it; I am just plagued by questions of canon no matter how much I can disregard it in fanfic.)

As for Batman tales I'm keeping up with outside of the main two books:

Absolute Batman — I've been enjoying the first arc a lot despite 1) my wariness of what Absolute's Joker will be like and 2) my misgivings about the book's marketing as Batman Without Riches. If you have a batvehicle that's literally the size of a small building, that's not different in practice from regular Batman. I would just prefer if the lead-up was more clear that it's Bruce's background that's working class, not his tools and such. But that's a minor gripe. The exploration of his Absolute origin and him growing up with several rogues as his buddies has really worked for me. It has my attention!

Batman and Robin — I was pretty meh on this book until the most recent storyline, which has Damian pondering going into medical care like his grandfather. It's such a shame though, because I think more could be done with a character leaning into serving the public outside of vigilantism, but the groundwork to bring Damian back to the status quo has been laid. (The groundwork is 1) the doctor who helped inspire Damian is turning out to be the antagonist, of course, and 2) Damian speechifying to Bruce about "what if Batman is causing more problems than he solves" when that makes no sense because HE IS THE GRANDSON OF RA'S AL GHUL so he is well aware that there are humongous threats that predate Batman. But of course we need Damian to have this thought so later he can be like "wow we vigilantes ARE needed" and get his confidence back.)

Batman and Robin: Year One — This book has the perfect combination of serious crimefighting and Robin levity as Bruce learns how to manage having a child partner, and I don't know what else to say other than I'm having so much fun reading it.

Wayne Family Adventures — Here's a cold take: Ever since this series started favoring Life Lessons over hijinks, it's gotten mind-numbingly boring. I'm going to stop reading it whenever the Joker arc finally ends, but it refuses to end! 😭 Here's a hot take: If trends continue, it sure feels like WFA is ironically doomed to have the same problem as regular batstories when it comes to character development. If a series revolves around the characters constantly learning to be better, sure feels like they're not retaining anything and the reader experience is still watching them endlessly fuck up, only this time with a side of milk and cookies and games of charades.

[incomprehensi-bull]

i have been thinking. about a professor layton au. but my thoughts have been entirely too wordy so it's going under a cut instead

originally i was thinking "huh i wonder if anyone's done like an apprentice swap with flora taking luke's role and vice versa" but then i thought "well just swapping them and changing nothing else is a little boring" and it occurred to me. well, what if you made it a timeline swap. as in swap their place in the timeline, like, turn the originals into the prequels and the prequels into the originals.

like if you think about it they kinda mirror each other right. mystery in a small town that results in a child being acquired (CV and LS) -> mystery in a city that's centered around a villain trapped in the past with a related artifact (DB and MM) -> mystery that shakes things up a bit and is related to people tragically lost and also there's a face/heel turn with a companion character (UF and AL). it could work

i'm not QUITE clear on how individual events would change but i would imagine a few broad strokes like

flora meets the professor three years earlier at about the age of 13 (assuming that she's around 16 in the games).

baron reinhold would still be alive, and when she becomes layton's apprentice she would move to stay with her cousin simon in london (assuming that the robots presented as augustus' family would have been based on real people, since there's precedent for it through lady dahlia).

definitely happier and better socialized overall, since she's actually, like. getting taken out and about. for a longer stretch of time too, since she would be present for both trilogies.

and probably getting kidnapped less, emmy is teaching this girl to take people out at the knees. don paolo's days are numbered

luke on the other hand would meet the professor three years LATER at the age of 13. unfortunately for the set-up to work clark and brenda need to leave the picture. sorry luke. i like them too much (and killing off a character's parents as a contrivance to make a mentor figure adopt them actually kinda just pisses me off specifically) so we can say "kidnapped by targent" instead of "kicked the bucket". it's fine. it's fine

(actually, on that topic, his inclusion in layton's 'Known Relationships' tab on the PL fandom wiki lists him as godson, but is that actually mentioned anywhere officially? i mean, i'm going with it because it makes the plot work and at the very least makes sense considering layton was definitely friends with the tritons when luke was born, but i wanna know if it's real or if it's just somebody's headcanon, y'know?)

cough. anyway. since they meet later luke never got the chance to break out of his whole "the specter is the darkness in the hearts of mankind" mindset before it fermented in his brain for a developmentally significant amount of time. which definitely isn't helped by his parents getting disappeared. so he's a lot more closed off initially, and never quite leaves behind his "oracle" crypticness and superstitions.

and considering his distrust, it's likely that he hasn't been interacting with anyone in town much if even at all, other than doland. this kid is getting 90% of his social contact from the local wildlife, he is NOT coming out of this well-adjusted

i'd imagine his situation with being left behind wouldn't quite be as bad, since, (A) his circumstances for being alone are dire enough to probably make you think twice about making him sit at home alone again, (B) he's not quite even old enough to inherently feel secure about leaving him at home alone for that long, and (C) there's three people present that are older than him which means at the very least no matter what there's SOMEBODY keeping an eye on him. speaking of which,

i imagine emmy still joins layton at the first adventure chronologically, but ends up sticking around for WAY longer since AL isn't for another five games. which might be good or might be bad, depending. that sure is a lot more time to get attached to your new friends, huh. surely nothing will come of this.

in this situation, probably a very significant factor in layton feeling comfortable bringing luke and flora everywhere, considering she is ready willing and capable of bringing down multiple people twice her size. taking her into future london is like a jurassic park reenactment. her "i'm not stuck here with you, you're stuck here with me" swag is earth-shattering.

well. maybe that's more than a few. i'm better at imagining character points than widesweeping plot events. but you get the point

(footnote 1: unfortunately the lady dahlia plot feels just a little too loadbearing to the story of curious village to me. sorry flora.) (footnote 2: hershel is hearing luke describe how his parents were taken away by mysterious threatening people in suits leaving him to fend for himself and spending the next night laying awake staring at the ceiling in a cold sweat. which could mean nothing.)

[popculturebuffet]

Big City Greens The Movie: Spacecation Review! (Gwendolyn Zapp Retrospective Part 2 of 2): The most Stellar Animated Film of the Year

Hello all you happy people! Last month I took a look at every episode of big city greens starring Gwendolyn Zapp, an unstable tech billionare seemingly immune to consequences with a lot of power and no moral compass. Obviously.. a LOT changed in that month and i'm just. i'm fine. I'm fine look how fine I am

I'M FINE... but if you need a breather, check out the review

So naturally the main reason to do this... was to get to the movie, somethign Kev's wanted me to cover since it came out and something I was glad to. I love this movie, and a second watch only strengthened my love of it. Spacecation will probably be my faviorite animated film of the year, and while it's a light year to compete in, it still more than earns it.

Spacecation was announced simply as big city greens the movie in 2022, directed by series director Anna O'Brien. The Houghtons naturally wrote the film and were admirably cautious: they knew two key things: The first was that the story had to be big enough to justify the film existing. If they could tell the story in the show proper, why do it. They had the greenlight for a film but wisely realized a film adaptation HAS to have a good reason to exist. The second was not to over escalate as their keenly aware as a show goes on it has to keep esclating to keep attention and going too far could break the world they painstakingly set up.

Thankfully they had an ace up their sleeve that made going as far as they needed easy: Gwendolyn Zapp. As I pointed out last time, Gwendolyn gives the series a free pass to do weird shit: she keeps things grounded enough as her inventions: robots, space monster crops, tweaking someone's personality via a big ole gun in cyber space.. all things scientists probably HAVE attempted or are actively working on, simply upped to pure super science for funsies. Hell her having a space program was there from day one: she tried to launch the Kludge into space for her mars project and squashed happens entirely thanks to her mars colony. Thanks to her previous episodes she knew the greens and unlike chip the history wasn't as dense and complicated; She's a weird dangerous billionare the greens deliver to frequently because she pays good and who has limitless resources. That's all you need to set up and as someone who went into the film not having seen her other apperances the film does a perfect job sliding in you. She gave them everything they needed for the film and was deranged enough that having her go full big bad was easy.

So with the setup easy, the film got underway, though they doubled the crew size to do it, a smart move as i've seen shows suffer due to the film adaptation. Looking at you regular show. So doubling the crew so they could facilitate both while keeping quality up was the right call. I also applaud disney for making this possible. It's a very low bar to say "you need more people to do two projects" but given how they've been this year, it's a miracle they cleared it. As far as I can tell production was smooth as butter, with the film coming out on time earlier this year, with the plot being kept under wraps for most of it's runtime.

As for where the series fits in the timeline of the series the houghtons have left it vauge for now, since they likely had no idea when the film would be finished or even once it was when it'd come out, and kept it purposfully detatched not just for that, but to welcome new viewers. My best guess is sometime in early season 3, one of two possible options they gave and the one that fits the most with the series: Nancy, the kids mom comes to babysit but makes no mention of whose watching her place, and the greens farm from their front yard. Mid season 3 the greens buy their farm back and spend the rest of the season, along with Remy and eventually Alice, in smalton, their old home. Eventually it's clear the Greens miss big city, so they move back with alice, while Nancy stays behind to run the farm, having found peace there. So Spacecation fits better with Nancy still in big city and the greens still using the family farm. The fact Gwendolyn Zapp's absent after delivernator early in season 3 also makes this easy and while she's one of many reacting to the greens going away, she's also very weird and probably woudln't think nothing of the time she left them in space to die and with buisness booming and way more crops to sell than before, not to mentoin the extra money from the cafe, there would be no reason to keep selling to her after she tried to leave them to die in space. SO TLDR: it fits better in season 3 just before they buy the farm back .

With that I can finally dive into the film itself under the cut!

The Views are Cinematic

So before we dive into the meat of the film let's talk about the potatoes. Spacecation looks gorgeous and you can tell while Disney didn't pour all it's money into this like it should've it still gave the crew a healthy budget and it shows: the film uses wider angels and sweeping shots , stuff that would be expensive to pull off in the series proper and is saved for the bigger moments, but here they can do pretty often, with a shocking amount of action scenes. The settings look gorgeous from the spacious sci fi halls of big tech, to the relaistic yet gorgeous spacecraft, all the way to a desolate farming astroid with a gorgeous farm tucked in, with the void of space looking as vast, terrifying and wonderous as it should. The film makes fantastic use of color doing a trick I love where a character is lit all in one color for contrast. The story is bigger and the film makes you feel it just like the Simpsons or Bobs Burgers movies on what had to be a fraction of those films generous budgets. It's one thing to make a movie but Spacecation understands out to make something cinematic and it's a shame it dosen't seem Disney ever considered this for theaters. I thought i might of over the months since it came out built up this film looking this good in my head but no.. it really looks that sharp, looking like a regular episode in for smaller scenes but really punching it up when needed. It dosen't have the shading of a theatrical relase but damn if it isn't staged perfectly with some really dynamic visuals.

All this visual razzle dazzle would mean nothing though if there weren't meat on the bones... thankfully this film is juicy as heck and boy do i regret this metaphor let's just move on to the films center.

Those Things I Said

Spacecation, as fresh as it feels, is as good as it is by relying on some familiar formulas. The first is one other film adaptations like Kim Possible: So the Drama, The Proud Family Movie, The Simpsons Movie and The Bobs Burgers Movie have done: Take the series core conflict, one they've done a billion times, and take it to it's logical conclusion. See what happens when you bend it so far it breaks and what the characters do. For Kim it's having the villian plot of the week not only be bigger but largely succeed, pushing kim to her breaking point. For the simpsons movie it was taking Homer's habbit of screwing up and having to fix it, and inflating it with him fucking up so bad the whole town wants to kill him and the rest of his family, and fixing it involves stopping the us goverment from bombing springfield from existance. Bobs Burgers takes the restraunts normal precarious position and has it in genuine threat of closing, with usual saving grace Mr Fishoder accused of murder with the kids usual shenanigans now being "solve a friggin murder". It's a simple trick and while not every show does it, and good for that I like some diversity, It works really well for escalating a sitcom like this, rooting the big flashy set pieces in the heart of the show.

That leads to our second and the piece they choose to go with, cricket and bill arguing over something. This was VERY common in the first two seasons. Out of 116 segments, 22 involve this, a good 20 percent of the show at that point. It's easy to see fans getting tired of neither green really learning the lesson to not be a reckless meanace or a wild child. And tha'ts JUST the circket bill stuff there's more episodes of cricket's stubborness causing issues.

However to their credit, the crew eased up on it after this: Season 3 only has three of these and the last one to date is bill omniously warning cricket about having a usual instead of a serious conflict. Rather than go to this well forevermore, hello simpsons and your marriage crisis episodes please stop it love jake, they made a concious decision to end them.. and to have the movie serve as the final pin. Cricket won't stop being reckless and bill won't sotp being overprotective, but it was wise to just have the two grow past fighting every five episodes and do new stuff. Maybe bill bores his family, feels hurt they don't like the same things and becomes the crow.

Given the simpsons has done 76 Homer and Marge marriage Crisis Episodes (Thank you The Real Jims for counting all those in his video on the subject), it's nice to see a show decide to just end a theme like this in style.

The final major toss up between these two begins simply enough before setting controls for outer space: it's time for a GREEN FAMILY VACATION, and i'll get to the songs later but that one is a fucking bop and has been in my head for a good chunk of the review process. The Greens have saved up enough to take a break and go on a vacation, with Nancy watching the pets and also getting a gloriously gay b-plot with gloria i'll get to later.

For once Cricket is thinking ahead, and actually made a pamphlet, a nice little handrawn thing of suggestions and freeze framing it.. what suggestions they are. Going ot mexico, breakfast land, volcanos.. it's great. None of it is plausible, but you can tell he put his heart into the thing.

That pamphlet is the secret suace that makes the terrible thigns he does as the film goes on work: Cricket actually did come up with ideas, was excited and wanted to go on a fun exciting adventure with the family. He likes adventure and Bill damn well knows that.

And instead of that Bill.. offers the same trip as last year. And look Bill has some good intetions: he knew everyone enjoyed it, wanted to keep everyone safe which is hard to do on a vacation, he meant some well.. but ther'es some selfishness here that does a lot of the heavy lifting towards making this a both sides issue when one of the sides is "tricking your family into space". Bill later calls Cricket out for being selfish.. but Bill has the same stubborness and selfishness. As his ex wife will later point out int he movie, part of the reason they butt head sso much.. is that Cricket and Bill are a lot more alike than they seem. THeir diffrent enough in their wants for this to be an issue, but their both stubborna nd tend to make decisions based on what THEY want without considering what someone else wants.

And bill.. didn't think about cricket or alice. Bill accuses Cricket of steamrolling people and he's not wrong.. but Bill often does the same. Bill knew Cricket would be outvoted and filed off his concerns and wants as "stupid ideas". He likely barely read the pamphlet instead of maybe sitting down with his son and finding a middle ground between a ten year old's fantasy and "repeating a trip we already took without telling him ahead of time. " Given how Cricket is , Bill SHOULD have seen the backlash and some Zany scheme coming. This isn't like the goofy movie where max tricks a very naive goofy (if for understandable reasons Goofy goes with once they actually talk). Bill knows his son does this kind of thing.

Now while i'm being hard on bill make no mistake: Cricket screws up. Cricket is a brat and while he's right ot be angry, he too fucks up royally. Now wanting a vacation in space when Gwendolyn asks the greens to go into space, that's fair. He sees a giant hotel she started, a fun adventure with his family, and he's ten so he dosen't see the ten dozen red flags or learn from the fact Gwendolyn's stuff tends to be dangerous. He assumes this will just be some fun space adventure and not what space travel is:

So his wanting it.. is understandable.. but the actions he takes to get what he wants are horrible, even by "he's a children standards". While I do thinka LOT of fans were too hard on cricket/didn't give bill enough flak for his own part as bill is a grown man, Cricket still hits a new low here. He lies to Gwendolyn, agreeing to do the mission if they can stay at her fancy space hotel after, and then lies to his family to get them on the rocket. The only reason they don't turn around is Gwendolyn Zapp is a heartless monster who blackmails them into it and also dosen't realize contracts signed by ten year olds wont' hold up in court no matter how much money you have.

Yet you still don't hate him entirely as while he fucks up royally.. his goals aren't entirley selfish. Yes he wants a good vacation for himself. Yes he hated bill's idea and resented him for shooting down his ideas, the latter being entirely resonable given Bill didn't bother discussing it with anyone or thinking that "just because these ideas are insane dosen't mean my son isn't taking them dead seriously". But he WANTS his family go have a good vacation: Tilly looses her Journal and Gramma looses her leg in the entry process, so while his getting them replacements could just be him trying to butter them up.. it comes off more as he realized he screwed up a little and space isn't AS fun as he thought and rather than give up, he wants to MAKE it fun. He finds genine replacements in a recorder and a robot leg that both love and it's clear he cares. He does want his dad to enjoy it.. but it's not for the "win" of proving his dad wrong.. he just geninely wants his dad to have a fun trip in space. It's what makes cricket works: sometims he's just a selfish little goblin.. and other times he's a well meaning and destructive little goblin. This shenanigan is a mix of the two: he did want a cool vacation for himself, didnt' think it through and put everyone in danger, but he dosen't just run off to do space stuff with everyone mad at him. He wants them to enjoy it too. The bulk of the first half is Cricket trying to help bill have fun. We see in "Chill Bill" Bill rarely loosens up with Cricket not having seen how bill gets on lakes (Chill as fuck for the record). It's the films heart: these two DO care about each other they just aren't good about actually carring what the other wants to the letter. Both are so used to ignoring the other and doing what they want it's easy to forget they love each other.

In Cricket's way though is Colleen Voyd, played amazingly by Renee Elyse Goldsberry of Hamilton Fame. Voyd is hopelessly devoted to Gwendolyn, a stickler for the rules and a bit of a pain in the ass. A lot of it is understandable: Space is dangerous, she wants the greens to live, and she wants the mission to succeed for her god empreror genius mommy. But Cricket hates her for not wanting any fun, and understandably: not for not wanting fun on a deadly mission but for treating a child like an astronaut who knew what he was getting into. Maam this is a children, he's not going to get your trying to keep him safe.

Granted how he works around her.. is fucked. It's probably the worst thing Cricket's ever done. Instead of trying to talk with her, reason with her, or figure something out, not options that might've worked but he could certainly try, he decides to instead lock her in the cryo chambers of the ship. It's better than Gramma's plan of we kill her.. and while it's a joke that she said "we kill her" i've seen alice in enough episodes to know she probably did entirely think "let's do a murder" as her first solution and backed off because her grandson dosen't have the taste for it yet. They trick her in there with Tilly noticing and being talked into it.

Cricket TRIES to get bill to accept it with a jaunty musical number, but it clashes with who bill is: Tilly goes with the flow, Alice and Cricket are naturally reckless but bill while a kind man, a good farmer and a solid father... is a naturally awkward easily startled man. Space was going to be his own personal hell. I can relate. I love sci fi but I know the actual experince of going into space, while life changing would also be deeply terrifying at the point it's at. It's a point the movie makes and something that helpfully grounds it: whiel the tech is a touch ahead of what we have, the risks of space travel and the time and energy it takes are all there.

Still Bill does slowly warm up, and a close call with a trashteroid field helps close the gap. I do love the trashteroid field as it's set up as a one off joke: Gwendolyn off handily mentions their just shooting garbage into space futurama style if in smalle rquantities... leading to a giant field of trash our heroes have to navigate with. IT gets the old standard of "navegating astroeids" in there but spruces it up with the fresh visuals of all this rubbish. The Trashteroid sequence is awesome and a joy to watch and the 3d animation in this film is top notch. Cricket has bill drive.. and he does so with style, saving thie rlives.. if damaging the ship.

Bill is actually warming up, and it's nice to see. Bob Joules does a great job as bill but it's really nice to see him just.. relax. Be happy. But it also creates a ticking time bomb as you KNOW any second Cricket's lies will come unraveled and it's only a matter of when. I"m usually not a fan of liar revealed plots but it can work and this one feels more like the goofy movie: I.e. you get why the characters doing the bad thing so you don't hate them completely, and the lie is much simplier: Max was doing the trip as usual, and Cricket simply says Coleen got sick. The lie isnt' for perosnal glory or anything but for simple human reasons. Dosen't make the lie okay, but it dosen't make you resent the character for getting deeper and deeper down the lie hole.

The other ticking time bomb is the farm bots, Gwendolyn's original farmers who are also funny robots..and thanks to a coding error have gone rogue. Naturally Gwendolyn didn't remotely warn them of this and sends the greens into danger without any prepreation. We do get one last nice bit of vacation as the greens see the space hotel, their reward for the mission Cricket got for them, and them farming which is neat. I love the zero gravity farm, it's rotating collumns, and just how happy bil is... before the robots try to plant them.

One super runaway later, our heroes find the ship is broken and everything else breaks down as their ships engine is clogged. So Tilly breaks out Colleen and Bill finds out what Cricket done did and of course dosen't take it well, not being suprised as of course his son did the reckless selfish thing while Cricket clearly feels ashamed, but is too prideful to actually apologize.

Not helping is Colleen chooses the mission over their lives, more on that later, so our heroes have to do a few awesome action set pieces and strap a rocket to the kludge. Cricket ends up driving for a bit and ... does actually find a way to reach the dome they do, a ramp jump he has carefully thought out for a change. But then they both screw up: Bill jerks the controls away and he and Cricket fight over them. Both Greens can't give an inch when it matters: Cricket is pissed his dad won't trust him the one time he needs it and refuses to accept WHY that is given he just spent several hours lying to the man, while BIll can't accept cricket isn't ALWAYS wrong and they can't really play it safe right now as there IS no safe surrounded by killer robots.

The truth is.. they BOTH fuck up and cause them to crash into the dome and while they can shut down the power, it's caused the asteroid to go off course.. it's heading for earth and specifically big city. They have to cut the right wire or else humanities doomed and Cricket once again screws up and cuts the communciation.

It's what makes this next scene work, the scene the whole film hinges on: The fight between Cricket and Bill that's been bubbling all movie, all series. And it begins with Cricket asking one simple question "Why did you pull the wheel away from me?" Like any family argument.. it begins with something you really shoudln't be asking... yet feels like a fair question. Bill tries to table it and it's fair to: Their trying to save the world, this isn't the time for it.. but the problem is WHOSE saying that: Bill has shut down cricket again and again, constantly telling him his ideas are bad and he should feel bad. So instead of taking it as "We really can't fight right now" Cricket understandably explodes at the worst possible time, pissed his dad helped cause this.

Bill rather than be the adult in the room, decides to fight back, pointing out Cricket's why their here in the first place the two sniping back and forth: Bill points out Cricket's ideas are dangerous, Cricket fires back if he weren't so "boring" he'd like them. Alice tries to stop bill and I love her "That's enough" It's not her usual anger.. but the anger of a mother knowing her child is going too far with his own kid and needs to back up.. but not able to stop him.

Both reach the point where they say things they can't take back: Bill says "All your ideas are bad! I'm sorry I don't like bad ideas!" and Cricket.. takes this as confrimation of what he's all belivied, something that makes everything, his actions, his lies, his mistakes... understandable. Not good or something he shouldn't make up for or have to apologize for, but understandable. It's the key to making what Cricket did work: that he isn't just doing this for himself, or his family.. but to prove something to himself: That his dad likes him. That he can have ONE idea his dad actually likes. As his response to all this is "I get it now.. when you say you dont' like my dieas.. what your really saying is you don't like me. Well that's fine because I don't like YOU"

Chris Houghton's delivery is painful and perfect: the quiet pain at first, the bitterness, the doubling down.. it's all so harsh yet understandable: Bill constantly says Cricket is wrong.. how else is the kid supposed to take it? He didn't mean harm by it.. but you can see why Cricket ended up in such an extreme. You can only be told your wrong so many times before you internalize it. Believe me, i've been there.

So everything explodes.. literally to add to the emotoinal blow up and Cricket is left adrift. We then get the best song of the movie, those things I said. It's the only one i'm commenting on ahead of getting to the songs later as it's a centerpiece of the film showing how much both green men regret what they've done. IT's also why I don't get the dogpiling on Cricket: He fucked up bad, the film dosen't let him off for that, and dosen't try to make bill AS culpable, simply.. culpable. Which he is. The boy spends a whole song singing about how badly he screwed up, how he regrets telling his dad he dosen't like him, and how he got everyone he loves seemingly killed. Cricket is left utterly broken, realizing that no the risk wasn't worth it this time and that as much as his dad hurt him hurting him back dosen't fix it. It's a painfully real thing about this kind of argument getting out what you feel... dosen't always exactly fix things and sometimes those wounds don't heal. Same with Bill who realizes by being so hard on cricket always, it pushed him this far.

Thankfully there IS an adult in the room.. or rather Gramma's leg who can help. Nancy. So quickly covering this subplot: Nancy naturally saw something was up seeing on the news that her family went into space, but couldn't get a straight answer out of Gwendolyn and gets escorted off the premises. Thankfully Nancy has a not so straight ally in Gloria. Gloria and Nancy's subplot this film can best be described as

As while they INTEND for Gloria to see Nancy as a second mom, having said as much before it instead comes off as Gloria crushing heavily on a cool older woman but having not realized she's bi yet. While Gloria being awkward as fuck is buisness as usual for the series the way she is ... not straight. It's just not. I say this as a bi diasaster myself who would act the same way around keith david despite, like Gloria, knowing nothing could happen. The man is happily married and a few decades older than me. I get it. But there's no harm in looking long as your repspectful.

This subplot also works because it pairs up two characters who haven't gotten a subplot togehter; Nancy and Gloria have shared a scene or two, but haven't actually interacted before this and McLoven-Covey and Akana have great chemistry, Nancy trying to focus on the job and Gloria being at her most awkward, which says a lot. They sneak in, get captured, hear a villian monologue and Gloria ultimately proves herself getting them free to help save the day and serve as mission control.

Admittedly the subplot is loosely tied to the main plot but it IS essential on two fronts: the first is showing off Zapp's callousness and giving her someone to monologue to, complete with villain song. It helps explains why she's doing this and also lets us see her decide to fuck off to mars instead of save the world. While we get that info later in the main plot too, it works better with us KNOWING she did this. The second is getting in contact with Cricket. It makes more sense having Nancy, who Cricket hasn't hurt and is you know, his parent, give him the peptalk over his family.

IN this case Cricket is ready to give up, figuring he'll just do something worse. And while he's not wrong to feel bad about what he did, Nancy even gives an oof when talking to him, Nancy recognizes her family needs her boy to do his best. That yes he screws up a lot, and he and his father are both stubborn.. but they both want whats best for the family. And right now what's best is saving the world, in this case using the tractor beam from the space hotel that was set up earlier but I didn't mention.

Thankfully the rest of the family finds Cricket, Cricket finds bill but I like that while they both clearly feel bad and all's forgiven.. both aren't quite back yet. While Cricket rushes out to fix the tractor beam himself when it proves not strong enough to redirect the farming asteroid, getting some of his reckless but creative mojo back.... he can't lift it and gives up. It's.. heartining seeing Cricket this down on himself. You understand why, he fucked up real good, but it's still not pledsant. Ther'es no joy in the win. And Bill sees that and admits he too isn't perfect: he plays it too safe, the vacation was indeed toos afe and while Cricket scares him sometimes... he admits the boys heart is in the right place: most of his shenanigans are about getting the most out of something for those he loves.

They often backfire horribly and not ALL of them are selfless (not that he says that), but it's that heart that drive sthe chaos. The boy mostly means well and makes life.. intresting and he can do this. Hell bill knows it. It's a seen that's heartwarming as hell and adorabl, affring both greens may of fucked up.. but they love each other still always willa nd wha'ts said in the heat of things isn't always true. B Oth sides screwed up.. but both can make it better.

Cricket flips the switches btu gets caught in a stream of trash the beams pulling in. So BILL shows his own development; Cricket realized he screwed up and felt genine remorse, now bill in addition to that, also jumps out and helps his son, the two saving the day.

The duo end the film on good terms blasting off into the sunset, or the equilvent to have a space vacation with Bill learning his lesson and asking Cricket if he has any ideas. So we end on an adorable montage of them having some space fun while waiting for a rescue craft. It's a pitch perfect end to a near perfect end to the series longest standing plot. It's a lesson in empathy: that sometimes your both wrong even if one person is more wrong, and that if we listen to each others heart, we'll find we're never too far apart, and maybe love is the reason why for the first time ever their seeing theings eye to eye.

The Fall of the House of Zapp

So i'd like to start this section with one of the great philosophers of our time..

I used to wanna get the chance to show the world I'm smart (ha) Isn't that dumb? I should've focused mostly on the heart 'Cause I seen smarter people trample life like it's an art So bein' smart ain't what it used to be, that's fuckin' dark EL-P, (As Part of Run the Jewels), A Few Words for the Firing Squad

This.. really sums up Gwendolyn Zapp and the people she's meant to be a parody of: Stupid Rich Kids who get more money and power than they know what to do with, get frozen at 20, surrounded with people either unable to call them out or unable to see their deranged, and who do what THEY think is best for the future and not what people might actually need. It's something that's only become clearer since my last post, as I watched a few episodes of the amazing podcast behidn the bastards on tech billionares: Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and human dumpster fire Elon Musk among others. It's not the podcasts only focus you can also hear how Napoleon Bonaparte III got drunkenly caught while doing an insurrection then shot a man in the face for reasons known only to him, Scott Addams wanted to name Dogbert Dildog, and how fashion monster Peter Nygaard responded to his neightbors understandable requests by super imposing said neighbors face over shots of the twin towers falling.

But it put into persepctive that the bulk of tech billionares are spoiled manchildren (and in one case womanchildren), who grew up with extra advantages and daddy's money, either the dad was a good parent or not, and never bothered to learn empathy or the consequences of their actions before becoming rich. Learning all this helps deep Gwendolyn Zapp as a character: She's primarily a wacky joke machines... but like all these billionares her money is built on a mixture of entitlement, never being told no, and being stuck with sychophants and true beliviers who will gladly care out her bidding no matter how questionable or awful it is, only stepping in if their going to get sued. Zapp SEEMED like she was a wacky exageration and while she was.. it's only by the tinest margin.

So really like any real life tech billionare, it isn't that far a drop from "kooky eccentric" to "Mad Scientest who will make the world pay". Gwendolyn almost ended the world ONCE already on the show and tried to rewrite childrend's brains. Having her be the antagonist was a perfect fit and serves as a perfect capper to her character.

This appearnce really boils down everything about her perfectly to the point that, as I mentioned, I had not seen any of her eps.. and still got the character's whole deal easily. She's an egotist entirely out of touch with reality, if she was ever in touch with it who wants big bountiful advances for humanity, but in a showy way that gets her all the credit. From day one she pointed out how she could solve so many issues but instead makes robo pants.

In this case she's farming in space, which isn't a terrible idea: At it's best it provides more sustainable food for people who need it, at worst it's a backup plan on the high chance humanity fucks up the planet too bad to be livable. But her reasons aren't alturisim or making the future better.. she just wants to prove her kindergarten teacher wrong.

Yeah she's that petty. As we find out in her decent villian song mid film.. that's the whole reason why Zapp is doing this. The whole reason why farm veggies in space. And the saddest part is.. her teacher wasn't even mean to her. She just chuckled about how cute the idea a six year old presented her was. It's the kind of horrifying thing that can indeed happen in real life when you piss off a billonare with tons of money and thin skin. I mean Elon Musk brought Twitter because he had beef with his daughterand wants to buy Hasbro because the head of creatvie for DND dosen't give a shit what he thinks, while Steve Jobs called the mother of his daughter a whore and denied being his daughter Lisa's father for decades to the point of having the people working on the Apple Lisa come up with an acronym so he could deny naming it after her. I wish I made either of these things up.

Billionaires are petty husks of human beings. What I thought was an exaggerated wacky kidnapping plot.. is something terrifyingly possible. I"m not saying these guys HAVE kidnapped their old teachers to gloat to them, but the fact they COULD'VE and easily buried it is alarming.

So in just a few short months Zapp's plotline has gone from "wacky but fun" to "deeply disturbing.. and still a little fun". I mean Cheri Oteri is a delight in this role and while this could easily be the end, I wouldn't mind seeing her again in season 5. It's a clear throughline in the tech industry that the tech persons ego matters more than money, common sense or lives, and this plot illuminates that hauntingly well. Gwendolyn Zapp is trying to prove a point to someone who was never really against her and dammed if it costs lives.

And it's a horrifying mantra she's indocirnated into her employees, as we see with her biggest Loyalist and one of the films leads Coleen Voyd, played to perfection by Renee Elise Goldsberry. If Zapp is a reflection of how dangerous and unstable tech mobles are taken to comical degrees, Voyd shows how scary unblinking loyalty to these kinds of techbros can be, that just because someone CAN change the world dosen't mean their doing it for the right reason.

Coleen Voyd has fully bought the hype: She sees Zapp as a visonary who can do no wrong, the mission as paramount and follows her Zappstronaut rules to the letter even when their kinda draconian when implied to literal children. She WORSHIPS Gwendolyn, and can't fathom her or the rules ever being wrong, following them to a fault. While Cricket defintely shouldn't of thrown her in cryo, that was horrible.. Voyd wasn't a good leader, not getting that her crew, while volunteering for this mission far as she knew, is still civllians with no formal training. Just belting a cool song at them isn't going to make them listen to you and while Cricket shouldn't of mutinied, someone was gonna at some point when your only command is "OBEY THE WORDS GOD EMPRESS ZAPP HAS DECREED PEONS".

Voyd shows the dangers of letting someone do whatever they want because it's "for the greater good"

A lot of tech bro worship, especailly in cases like Elon in the House, the horrifying Cory in the House sequel 50 percent of the country apparently asked for, comes from "Well they donate or they do this or that". I turned a blind eye to bill gates for a long time not relaizing he was bullying people who actually knew what they were doing to do the dangerous shit he wanted to do. IT's why Narcissism and Charity can't coexist. You can't genuinely build a better world if you think your the only one who can. Other people have good ideas. You are not the only person in the world whose opinon matters and if your the kind of person who clearly thinks your thinks that, your going to do some TERRIBLE shit and people will do terrible shit in your name. It's this cult bullshit that got us the president elect we have. I wanted to stay out of politics for this one but it's impossible to given how close to home this hits: the idea that you can put all your faith and good intentions.. in a person who geninely dosen't care if you live or die and whose idea of a good future is built on a mountain of corpses.

Am I getting just a tad dark about a children's cartoon character? Eh maybe, but I like how this is told:Through comedy. It's a lesson kids NEED to know: that just because someone's smart or charasmtic does not make them a good person. The comedy makes it almost easy to forget that Gwendolyn Zapp when given the choice between her vanity project and 5 human lives.. chooses the vanity project. It's what most egomanical billionares would do given the choice. It's what constantly fluffing someone's ego up and buying into their madness gets you: stranded in space. Colleen willingly sends the vegtables and not the greens and herself home because that's the mission. And the Green's don't even know the reason WHY Zapp discarded them. It's a pitch perfect metaphor for tha tdisconnect: the innocent people who get thrown away don't CHOOSE this, they don't sign on for some glorious purpose.. they just want to get buy. As much as cricket fucked up he did NOT sign on to fight for his life and Zapp hid all this from them till it was too late.

Thankfully both parties get a compupance in a way they deserve. For Colleen Voyd.. it's redemption. She did fuck up royally, put her faith in the wrong person and like cricket and bill at first doubles down, refuses to accept she was wrong or betrayed everyone present. After all as far as she knows she put her faith in the right person. Gwendolyn will save them and the earth and smite their enemies.

Instead.. she gets let down. Gwendolyn decides "fuck earth" when the asteroid threat is apparently and peaces out ot mars in a giant face ship leaving everyone to die. If there was any doubt she was a bad person remotely left... this removes it. She may of seemed personable but Gwendolyn Zapp.. was a monster, a selfish narcisit who flees.

Colleen .. dosen't take it well, taking a few minutes in real time and about an hour to despair. It's only when the greens try to break into the controls to the tractor beam she spouts off her rules.. then breaks them. It's a good lesson: Just because someone you trusted with your heart and soul betrays you dosen't mean you should give up, and just because your hero lets you down dosne't mean you can't be a hero yourself. Collenn shapes up and finds a better path for herself: She wasn't a terrible person, just bound too rigidly to rules set out by someone anyone else could see was terrible because they didn't worship her. And her exit from the movie is the heroes exit she deserves: She heads off to fix things, Tilly gives her Cookie, the weird blob she's been carrying around all film who disney isn't merchandising to hell and back because they dumb, and the two get to work cleaning up the trash and making a better future the hard way... the right way.

As for Gwendolyn... everything comes crashing down carmically. She has to watch her space hotel get burnt up (The greens saved everybody so don't worry), then returns oblivous as usual.. to an angry populus that threw the free space produce she gave them at her It may only be thanks to the power of fictoin, but Gwendolyn Zapp finally lost the one thing she needed to.. not the millions of dollars, sadly even in fiction you can't take those away, but the public's respect and willingness to tolerate her crap. There won't be another Colleen Voyd, thank god and Gwendolyn Zapp will slowly collapse into the dustbin of history... or probably show up for an epilogue in season 5. Save the date!

The Movie The Musical One of the first things about this movie that was announced that it'll be a MUSICAL ... which was a shock as Big City greens has done a musical episode and maybe two or three numbers over four seasons. Still it was a fun idea and works well. IT reminds me of the goofy movie where it is technically a musical, but there's some gaps between the numbers. In fact Rules Rap was added entirley because there was about half an hour between Green Family Vacation and Space is Fun.

Green Family Vacation gets us off to a great start, a fun number where everyone gets a solo with Cricket's really hammering in why he ends up doing the shit he does. It has great coregraphy complete with some lala land style dancing on top of cars and a great cameo from officer keyes. It's jaunty, gets stuck in your head, it's everything an opening number should be and more.

Rules Rap... should really be called Zappstronaut Rules as Colleen says it enough times with an excellent belt. It's really well done though. Renee has bars for days and shows it off, going rapid fire as hell. It's the chorus I feel lets these ones down as while operatic, it feels out of tone with the rapid pace of the rest of hte rap and how dauntless the rules feel, stacked on one after another on top of our heroes. Still a banger. It really gets colleens cultish warship of gwendoln and sticklership, as well as how dangerous things are, all out nice and fast and making it a musical number was a genius move.

Space is Fun is okay. Visually it's fantastic, really showing off the ship and space itself and Bill's terror beautifully. But content wise i'ts just ... cricket going on about how fun space is. It's not really substantive.

Gwendolyn's Lament: Is decent. Cheri Oteri belts it out, I just wish they'd leand on her vocals more instead of having her talk thorugh a chunk of it, as she CAN belt it. Still having Gwendlon do a full on jazz number to gorgeous color contrast visuals was never not going to be fun.

Stuff I Said is a masterpiece, getting into Cricket and Billl's regret beautifully with Chris Houghton being a suprisingly effective singer. Bob Joules.. .isn't the best but has enough emotoin. And that's the song's strength: the emotion of it, takin ga slow second to let the weight of the shitty things they've done wash over Cricket and Bill. It sells both's changes as both realize they ding dang blorped up and need to fix it. It's a masterful song.

Green Family Vacation Reprise is great as the first one and a fun note to end on. Not much more to say, I aboslutely love them driving on saturn and the solar color washed credits.

Overall the music is decent. Only Green Family Vacation and Stuff I Said Really stick out to me. None of it's horrible or detracts from the movie, but it's still notably weaker than the well crafted story, deftly timed comedy, wonderful character beats or gorgeous visuals. I'ts not terrible, but it's not really memorable. Most musicals have me rushing to spotify to add my faviorites. This one.. I honestly didn't realize was even on spotify till recently. It's not terrible but in a film this good, it's noticably average.

Odds and Ends:

I didn't really talk about Tilly and Gramma in the main portions as their off to the side in their own weird fitting adventures: Tilly gets an alien, Alice gets a super leg and plots murder. Their good solid subplots but both are the side dishes to bill and cricket's main course. They contribute more than enough great jokes and to the plot, with Cookie, Tilly's alien, having the abillity to break glass they come in contact with and gramma's new leg allowing her to kick ass because she can't chew bubblegum with those dentures. Both characters are fantastic, there simply isn't anything to dig into with their arcs is all.

Supporting cast wise the film keeps it delebriately light: the only characters outside of Gwendolyn to show up are officer keys, who cameos in the opening number and has two great gags later first remarking what a good day this is seconds before news of the asteroid hits.. and then being proven right later when the apocalypse being cancelled leads to free hot dogs.

Otherwise the only returnees are chris and terry, the gay couple next door who annoy Gloria for a second with the whole foam gag, and Remy's parents.

I bring up Remy's parents for two reasons: to tackle Remy's small roll in the plot and to point out something weird. For some reason Remy's guard, manny and closest friend outside of Cricket Vasquez... is not in the film. The remmingtons are, with Remy going to the space hotel and proving critical to the climax.. but weirdly his bodyguard.. dosen't come along on vacation. And you'd say "Well it's vacaton of course he dosen't" but we're talking three very rich people in a very dangerous environment and a man who needs to see his therapist when Remy goes to a birthday party alone. IT's very weird he's absent.

Now his absence COULD be explained by his voice actor: Vasquez is voiced by everyone's faviorite character actor Danny Trejo. He's done a ton of voice acting on top of that.. which makes his absence questionable for two reasons: 1) while Danny is PROBABLY getting paid a decent wage, and I only say probably because Disney has been confirmed to be the worst and if they overwork pixar and do homophobic shit they probably aren't above underpaying a voice acting and regular acting legend, it's defintely not enough to break the budget and even if they coudln't 2) the remingtons are silent. Also the fact they paid andy daily for three lines tells me they can pay another guest actor for the same. It's a weird absence.

Remy himself is barely in the movie but I appricate finding space for him so the whole main cast gets featured. And Zeno Robinson does make good use of the time, mostly setting up the tractor beam

And getting to conga everyone to saftey in a hilaroius sequence towards the end. He's just kinda there, but it feels right having him there you know. It's the same reason it feels very wrong not having Vasquez around when the rest of Remy's family is there.

Almost forgot the cowboy resembling Sam Elliot. This is just a fun gag having him narrate the greens.. only to turn out to be doing it in story too as some weirdo they have to shoo away. It's a good nod to the big lebowski, a great weird little gag and a fun way to introduce the cast to new viewers.

Spaceclusion

If it wasn't clear already I love this movie. It's tightly animated, nicely takes a stock conflict for the show and blows it the fuck up, it's gorgeous to look at and it's so very funny. It's the movie this show deserved and proof the show has deserved to last this long. While I wish more shows got treated this well by disney, fuck them and their homophobia, I am glad at least one got to shoot for the stars and didn't miss. This movie is fantastic and well worth watching. If you love the show, you'll adore this, if you haven't seen it, it's a great introduction. This film deserves more eyes on it especially in a year full of so much misery from disney it's nice to see them release something this good with no abuse behind it. Thanks for reading and i'm pullin for you, we're all in this together