#a lot of really terrible shit

[schismusic]

On abandonment, Lou X, the eternal recurrence of the same

Browsing through the people I follow (and my followers) I can't help but notice just how many of these blogs haven't been updated in literal years. That line Diane Venora has in Michael Mann's Heat comes to mind: "you live among the remains of dead people…".

The idea of neglect and disuse is a weird thing to me, in that I never registered it as an inherently negative thing - it's melancholic, sure, but not everything needs to keep being active and productive. In unrelated news I'm listening to Lou X as we speak, go figure. For my international followers, Lou X is a rapper from Pescara who made his last full record in 1998. It is called La Realtà, la Lealtà e lo Scontro and you could call it a conscious/gangsta rap record in Italian/Abruzzese dialect. Then he basically went off the radar except for maybe one feature or two on other people's songs and albums.

If you think about it Italy's greatest contributions to the culture of the past century mostly involve objects that either don't exist, are somehow crystallized into unserviceable forms, were abandoned years ago and have reached an absolutely dismal state that could only make them interesting as a work of art. Think about it: Neorealism in cinema (and maybe even the Realists' interest in decrepit/disadvantages rural realities, but that would be an overarching nineteenth-century European thing), Ennio Flaiano's Tempo di uccidere, the last writings of Cesare Pavese ("Tutto questo fa schifo. Non parole. Un gesto. Non scriverò più": what else here but the defeated realisation that nothing could ever change?), Italo Calvino's Le città invisibili, Luigi Ghirri's landscape photography work, CCCP and CSI even.

Europe is doomed to its binary division and therefore we are of course doomed to repeat stylings and "revolutionary" aesthetics in never-ending loops: Disciplinatha were smart enough to point it out, but like Whitehouse said: "grubbing job-hunting artists and art aficionados who prefer art that 'raises questions' are certainly as disgusting as those rubbered dilettantes who recognize that the answers are what you masturbate over". Whitehouse also had this to say, in the same context: "So better to just shut your fucking mouth".

Obviously mentioning a rapper from Abruzzo has implications for those of you who know anything about me. God knows there are very few places as left to their own devices as that region of Italy, and considering my violently antihumanist views regarding the Abruzzese people I'm inclined to say that the only reason this abandon should end is just so I can no longer hear these motherfuckers bitch and moan about nobody giving a shit about them or something. It's no big deal to be fair - people think Abruzzo is further down South than Rome is because it was added into the monetary help program for the South of Italy at the end of World War II. The Abruzzese people who have voted for Matteo Salvini in the past seem to have conveniently forgotten that if it didn't mean more votes to him, they would be seen as cannon fodder at best and shit under his feet at worst.

When the Amatrice earthquake hit in 2016 we knew that would be the end of the very little good things we had managed to get back after L'Aquila in 2009: the small towns in the province, which is unreasonably fucking big in L'Aquila's case but honestly what are we going to do, make Sulmona or Avezzano their own province like assholes?, anyway I'm getting distracted - my point being everything went even further to shit when that happened. A lot of the old people, some of whom not as old as you would expect, died in consequence to the quakes or went further down into some form of (if I had to guess) trauma-induced dementia. Happens even to the best of us - then, you can imagine how easily it happens to the average Abruzzese. I was setting up another band with some kids and if we had our way, honestly, I believe there would be no NUMBERS, simply because I had found people who really got me, in the typically effortless way that teens bonding through activities do, and I do believe I got them, too. When I meet them now, and I never meet them together because one of the two guys can no longer come to town now, it feels like I'm on a completely different wavelength. Yet I refuse to let go, because in true Abruzzese fashion I never fucking learn. We did manage to get a record out, though. Its only tangible effect was, likely, to stop NUMBERS and the Operators from playing the La Zona d'Ombra festival at Bronson, in Ravenna. Here in the future, everyone has their fifteen seconds of fame.

In relating to the theme of this post, I cannot seem to let go of this fucking post. I have been writing in circles for literal hours at this point because the idea of abandonment ultimately scares me, disproving what I said at the beginning. It's no surprise that the only things I can think of when they suggest to me the idea of abandonment are Burial, Forest Swords, Techno Animal, maybe some ambient music. No point in trying to prove at all costs that "I'm different" or that "I have something fundamental to say about it".

So better to just shut my fucking mouth.

[heartorbit]

make a wish! 🍃

happy 1st anniversary, in stars and time 🤍

[idolomantises]

I… don’t really see myself continuing with the Amazing Digital Circus anymore.

[welcometogrouchland]

(ID in alt) I literally said I was gonna post this month's ago and then never had the wherewithal to describe it and so I didn't Lmao (said with pain). But since I'm thinking of opening my commissions I figured I should remind ppl that I. Yknow. Can draw.

Lots of Steph here (I had major art block making all of these and my brain worms for her kept me going) + some sprinkles of stephcass for Cass nation to enjoy!

[babychosen]

save a horse (ride a cowboy)

8pm, Friday. Red dress. Booth near the end of the bar, by the dart board.

She forgot how demanding the text felt, but it had only encouraged her to want to show up even more.

[stupidrant]

Since we’re on the topic of video games, im tired of these fucking remakes. Ive said it before but i’ll say it again each time. These companies dont wanna invest in an actually good remaster or port and would rather waste their time with these remakes bcuz “ooh look how shiny and better the graphics look!!1!1!1” often times it has an empty feeling because everything has to be ultra realism super 6000. Its gotten so bad that now regular gamers are starting to gaslight you into playing or enjoying them. So much has been lost artistically, (like the cool UI designs) that it’s now considered “juvenile” and that i need to “grow up” and “accept it” 😂

[akkivee]

god kuukou is so tiny next to the yamadas lmaooo

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Anyway, personally, I have always thought that the best remedy for getting dumped is to go on another date with someone you're not emotionally invested in yet [this is probably the polyamory and borderline talking but stick with me I swear it makes sense for at least some of us]

So when you CARE about a person and the relationship dynamic shifts, now you're in mourning right because you started to imagine them in different places in your life and it's emotionally painful to uproot those. But like. If you temper that pain with a person you KNOW that you aren't emotionally invested in (yet) it's a lot easier to challenge the weird thoughts a post-break up funk puts in your head.

Do I feel like a freak of nature who will always be alone because that's reasonable or because Jean-Paul over there told me he's got too much going on right now to keep going out with me? When I'm crying alone in my room, the answer is way less helpful! When I'm on a date with Steve From Accounting Who's Fun But Not My Type it's a LOT easier to remember that lots of different kinds of people are attracted to me, and my boundaries/choices in interaction with others can have a lot to do with how I experience them. See, Steve From Accounting can say and do a lot of things that just Do Not Bother Me, because. Well, why should they? And the reminder that I'm capable of setting down frustration or hurt, the reminder that I can mark lines with people on a case by case basis that I don't want them to cross, and it can be different for different people and that can be a GOOD thing, all that stuff makes it easier the next time I'm alone and feeling shitty to say "hey, these are sensations in my body that I deserve to tend to, but they are not Truth Coming Out Of Her Well To Shame Me Specifically and I can chill about it."

Honestly it's also really validating to remember that there are MANY kinds of affection and connection from others in the world. The loss of affection/connection that often comes with a break up can rattle me, and it's helpful to have the PHYSICAL IN MY BODY reminder that this will pass as I reorient within the other systems of affection and care I participate in. A break up hurts less if you're not also wondering where you'll get your needs met in the meantime.

Anyway it's day two of post-"let's be friends" stabilization and the playlist evolves with me so today's song is Perfect with Sam Smith and Jessie Reyez

[it-may-be-dull-but-im-determined]

On the verge of doing a deep dive compare and contrast between both Wicked and Evita being adapted for films because the parallels are RIGHT THERE. In this essay I will

[fantasticalleigh]

🖤🖤🖤🖤Another one for The Education of a Lady 🖤🖤🖤🖤

used this Pin as a reference

[thebigqueer]

literally having the worst day ever and i cant ever be happy (has only experienced minor inconveniences today but they keep adding up)

[mla0]

i hate when people portray michael and/or patrick as some kind of master manipulator who was terrible to shaun and stormy. like, in the past, michael sometimes got portrayed with little autonomy, or as childish and overly innocent in a weird way. that in itself is an issue with the treatment of mentally ill characters (infantilization), but the solution isn't to argue that he's actually a monster who only wanted to hurt and mislead people. the same goes for patrick. i don't enjoy the "goofy flirty mass murderer" interpretation for very similar reasons, because in the canon patrick did indeed do some wild shit but i think it's a stretch to say it was out of malice, except maybe towards eric lol

obviously there will be different views of these characters and this isn't meant to be gatekeep-y or anything, i'm just concerned with how certain portrayals can quickly slide into negative biases towards mental illness. i think if you're going on this route you might want to ask yourself why, and consider how it could make the mentally ill people within the fandom feel when they see their own symptoms portrayed by their peers as synonymous with being dishonest or manipulative

[primamchorus]

Is your OC the sort to throw themselves into battle on behalf of the oppressed or downtrodden? Or would they only help others if it benefitted them in some way?

good evening, mimble! thank you for the ask, and i hope the day treated you well!

OC Asks in the Library

i wouldn't say ros is a pacifist, but he does keep himself out of trouble more often than not. he's a healer -- and not one who's the most confident in his abilities. in a lot of ways, he's a coward and hasn't processed the loss of his mother in the most healthiest of fashions. not that the people around him give him the space or the time to do that.

apathetic, i think is the best way to describe ros when it comes to the plights of others that aren't directly tied to him. at least on the surface. the only reason ros applies himself to heal others is to learn more about his limitations when it comes to the strength and understanding of his white and green magic.

[lostwanderer42]

Been doing a lot of thinking lately with peoples obsessions with punishing fictional characters who did bad things and i dont have any coherent thoughts yet but i am like. Are yall ok

[cvsette]

My roommate got back from the hospital (still not sure why he went other than that it was for mental health reasons) and was smoking sitting right under my A/C and as I was waiting for him to get up so I could leave I was like “hey sorry I have to go to my MRI appointment” and he was like “hey...can we talk?” and I was like “no Sorry I have to go to my MRI?” And now I’m brainstorming ways to stay away from the apartment for as long as possible with a slightly better but still thrown out back

[karinyosa]

just expressed a strong opinion on a platform that is not tumnlr. what if they kill me