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knightyoomyoui · 5 months

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TWICE: ANTHOLOGY OF HORROR ONE-SHOTS | "Auntie's Reminiscence" ft. NAYEON

Welcome to my new book that consists of one-shots under horror genre that features every TWICE members! If you are a ONCE and a fan of horror who loves to get spooked, give this series a try! Thank you and enjoy reading!

STORY #1: "Auntie's Reminiscence" ft. Im Nayeon

NOTE: Inspired from true events.

Im Nayeon joins along with her family to pay a visit on her Auntie Eunji’s home. She was willing to go for two reasons: one is because its their group’s vacation after taking a rest from both in their concert tour and current mini-album promotions. The second thing is simply because she cherish her Auntie and the place their about to go through with all her heart.

Her Auntie Eunji’s house in Incheon was her childhood home, and Auntie Eunji along with her husband and Nayeon’s Uncle Hajoon were the ones who stood up as Nayeon’s second parents and family when her mother had to work often after she and her father got divorced. The two had children, a perfect replacement to be the sibling figure for an only child like Nayeon.

That’s one of the reasons why her childhood wasn’t bad at all. She still has another family to grow up and to enjoy with. Sadly, not everything last long when Nayeon had to move back with her parents to Seoul after she got accepted to an Arts School there to study.

It’s been years since she last saw her Auntie Eunji and also her Uncle Hajoon. Although, sadly… despite how Nayeon was able to have another opportunity to catch up the lost times with her beloved auntie, it’s the opposite to tell for her uncle.

Her Uncle Hajoon passed away from diabetes months ago, and what’s worse was that she wasn’t able to attend the funeral because she was in the States preparing for their tour there at that time. She instead sent her deepest condolences to her family and especially to her Auntie Eunji who must be suffering the most.

The relationship between the two can be described as very strong and truly dedicated. Their love story was one of the best stories Nayeon has ever heard, and that was also the one who encouraged and put Nayeon into curiosity to know what is true love. No offense to her father and mother, but her young mimd grew up to idolize more the other couple.

She was just like among her family that mourned a lot for her Uncle Hajoon’s untimely passing, but it was undeniable that her Auntie Eunji was the one who suffered the most. Every day and night it would not be a circumstance that she won’t gonna cry in despair and grief realizing that her beloved husband will no longer be in her side forever.

Nayeon’s family reported to her that they also tried to console Auntie Eunji but it was then no effect for the grieving lady. Without any other choice, due to the struggle they had to call for a psychiatrist to help Auntie Eunji atleast have a progress on accepting the death of Hajoon.

And that’s what she’s currently experiencing, and along the days came where Nayeon is staying in her childhood home. She would then take a peek on her Auntie’s bedroom, and there she was, crying while either curled down on the bed or sitting while holding one of Hajoon’s things.

“Poor Auntie. I really wish she would finally let go of the pain and accept that Uncle’s truly gone. It may be hard for her but it’s the only way.” Nayeon whispered to herself while pouting at the sight of her devastated auntie.

But then one day, Nayeon’s wish seemed to be granted when while their family and relatives are having a lunch, her Auntie Eunji suddenly came down from her room and joined the meal, surprising every person present in the table. They know that it puts them into hard time urging her to join them for food.

“Eunji! Finally you decided to come eat with us!” Nayeon’s mother and the older sister of Eunji, Seoyeon, gladly welcomed her as she watched her approach the table. “How are you doing?”

“Oh you can’t believe what just happened last night!” Eunji said with an excited tone. Nayeon just stared at her Auntie having a strange enthusiasm right now which is hugely contrast to her daily shallow mood she has been always observing from her.

“What is it?”

She sat on the table and let one of her sons to pick some food and place it on her plate. “Hajoon came to see me last night!”

Nayeon spitted the water she was drinking after hearing those ridiculous words. Did she heard it right? It must be the same question that everyone sharing in the room with her right now would ask too.

How was it possible to have someone pay you a visit when… that person has been recently passed away? Nayeon just watched her Auntie Eunji in her wide grin after saying it.

“W-what did you just say?” Seoyeon asked. Everyone in the room was exchanging glances at each other and muttering something that is probably judging Eunji right now except for Nayeon who remained speechless. “How? W-what did he do?”

“He said he misses me that’s why he wanted to spend some more time with me by helping me get to sleep!”

Chills starting to take over in their skin until Nayeon’s mother stopped this immediately by acting very glad for her mentally unstable sister and some attempts to change the topic. Once she was done eating and fled the room, everyone sighed in relief and started to buzz out their reactions of what just happened.

Seoyeon then tried to convince everyone that it’s probably just a pleasant dream of Eunji in order to cope with the loss, exactly the same thing as what Nayeon is trying to convince herself to believe in. However, it didn’t take too long for another scenarios to come just to disprove and scrap their claims.

Days passes by, and more stories of her Aunt Eunji talking about her private times with Hajoon during the night continues for Nayeon to hear. She tries so hard to wear this mask of disguise that she’s happy for her Aunt being the same old self as she is, but deep down Nayeon is so conflicted at what she truly feels for her Auntie’s condition.

“Mom, this isn’t right. Something’s wrong with Auntie now.” Nayeon talks with her mom while cleaning the living room. “At first I would like to think that she’s imagining things but… the more she speaks about Uncle Hajoon makes it starting to hear that…”

“Nayeon, your Uncle Hajoon is dead. It’s not possible.” Seoyeon quickly cuts off her daughter’s words. “Ghosts may be real yet she probably try to plaster its image as her husband just so she can think that she was still not alone and she still has the man she loves with her. It’s as if she’s finding way to forget the tragedy that happened to her.”

“But mom… it wasn’t doing anything good at Auntie. Her mind is being corrupted with her thoughts, the people here are starting to get scared at her stories, including me.” Nayeon defended. “I just want to see Auntie happy, but in the right way. This has to stop and we have to do something about it before its too late.”

Seoyeon sighs and slowly nods at her wise daughter. “Fine, I’ll give it one more try. She’s my sister, I have to help when she still needs it even if she doesn’t mind it.”

Nayeon’s encounter later that night had her loose her composure and completely disregarded the convincing that her Auntie is still hallucinating manifested from the reminiscence of happy memories she’s doing to remember Hajoon.

She was walking through her room when she noticed that there are footsteps exiting on her Auntie Eunji’s room leading to the stairways that directs to the rooftop. It was very dark there and Nayeon wanted to follow it but her examining at the footsteps was enough for her to feel the creeps.

The footsteps are covered in mud, and it’s size is large. Nayeon hurried rushed down on the living room to stay with her cousins and wait for them to return back in their rooms to sleep.

That’s not where it ends though, Nayeon still has to have one more experience that she thinks it’s definitely one of the worst memories she ever had in her life.

As she was about to tell her Auntie Eunji to sleep after her loud laughs were echoing through the ground floor, Nayeon slowly checks out the barely shut door through its gap. It was dark, and Nayeon was about to knock when while she was opening the door, she couldn’t fathom what she’s witnessing in her naked eyes.

A tall skinny figure was kneeling beside of her Auntie Eunji who is laughing out loud. Nayeon couldn’t even describe what she’s looking at but one thing’s for certain: it’s inhuman.

In her panic, Nayeon hurriedly clicked the switch to turn the lights on, the figure was filed to be captured though as it disappeared from thin air. She shouted to call her helpless aunt. “AUNTIE!”

She was walking towards the side of the bed when her Auntie Eunji sat up and looked at her with ecstatic expression. She was smiling from ear to ear today.

“ Nayeon! You saw him, right? You saw your Uncle Hajoon, but sadly he said he has to go for now.” Her Auntie Eunji said. Nayeon just scoffed and shivered at the grip of her auntie in her arms.

“Don’t worry, dear. Your Uncle Hajoon says he’s gonna check for you somet-”

“STOOOOPPPP!!! JUST STOP IT PLEASE!” Nayeon suddenly screamed in mercy, making her Auntie scared and confused at the same time. “YOU’RE MAKING ME SCARED, AUNTIE! UNCLE HAJOON IS ALREADY DEAD, CAN’T YOU JUST MOVE ON ALREADY? HE’S NOT COMING BACK!”

“What’s going on here?” Her mother Seoyon along with boys came by at the room to check up on Nayeon after hearing her plead.

“How can you say something like that? You saw him too, Nayeon. Hajoon is alive and he said he’s staying with us. He did that for me!”

Nayeon couldn’t contain anymore the fear creeping up inside of her. She started to cry and hug her mother, while the rest just watched their Auntie Eunji still daydreaming about the times she and her husband used to share.

After recovering from her emotions, Nayeon tried to narrate what she just observed in Eunji’s room. Unfortunately, none of her mothers, relatives or her cousins seems to believe what she’s saying because they stand for the side that Nayeon is just being sucked up by her Auntie Eunji’s rare delusions.

She still tries to explore what could be the identity of that mysterious figure that she witnessed last night that distracts her really bad. Having it repeating inside her head was giving her massive discomfort.

Despite defending and in denial at Eunji’s stories, it doesn’t mean that they are tolerating it. They still want her old self to return and no more sink herself down from agony because it also affects them emotionally.

Nayeon and her family continues to search for ways to assist her Auntie Eunji but to no avail. She can admit that its beginning to make her lose her hope and feel pity a lot for her sake.

Her stress came to an end… but in a negative note when a month later, they watched their Auntie Eunji came out of the bathroom and proclaims “I’m pregnant, everyone! I’m having a baby with Hajoon!” while raising her pregnancy test.

Nayeon’s eyes largened in a mixture of terror, confusion, and shock at the announcement of her Auntie Eunji. Everything they have thought to be impossible seemed nonsense anymore because… they don’t even know what they should suppose to do about it in order to fix Eunji.

When she gave birth to her baby 9 months later, the doctors slowly handed it to Eunji. As she stares at the features of her son, there’s a part that she acknowleged initially after it piqued her interest.

“He has his father’s eyes” says Eunji as she continues to rock her baby on her arms. Her family, including the doctors, nurses, were all viewing from the door as they watch the wholesome moment of the pair while both horrified and concerned.

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NOTE: This story is inspired from a Filipino Spooktober 2023 entry by MilkyClear titled "Tito and Tita / Uncle And Auntie" and from the 1968 psychological horror classic film "Rosemary's Baby".

#twice nayeon #nayeon #im nayeon #twice fanfic #twice au #twice oneshots #twice horror #kpop au #kpop oneshots #kpop fanfic #horror #twice

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watermelonsugacry · 1 year

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i would adore to learn how/when y/n meet mitch! your posts make me so happy!

Choose Your Words

A/N: in celebration of SINCE 2010 turning 1 on Tumblr, here's how the two best guitarists in the world met! 💚

SUMMARY: After almost a year into One Direction's hiatus, Harry craves being in the studio again to make some music. After inviting his best friend and former band member, YN, onto his team, they spend the next two months in Jamaica as they make an album, uncover hidden feelings, and explore uncharted territories. (3.5k)

GENRE: 1dbandmember!yn

SINCE 2010 masterlist // Jamaica series // Previous song here! 🌵

SIDE-NOTE: italicized is voice over commentary (I wrote this kind of like the Behind the Album documentary) bold are things Harry actually said irl

“So what did you say his name was again?”

Today marks the first day of the official writing session for Harry’s new album. The last of the team had just finished flying in the day before and settling into their new home for the next two months.

Much like her time in the band, YN being the only female in this team was given her own room to stay in for their stay in Jamaica. With only a couple of hours in the land of paradise, she’s already traded in her skinny jeans for shorts and her leather jackets for open button-up shirts with tank tops underneath.

Harry is just too excited to wait any longer. YN could tell how much he’s been holding it in and he has been itching to be back in the studio to make some music. After everyone’s taken naps to overcome the jet lag, it was time to get into the home studio to bring Harry’s ideas to fruition.

The two of them haven’t experienced writing an album like this before. They were always on the road whenever they recorded, putting down some vocals here and there in a mini van minutes before going on stage to perform to a stadium full of people. They’ve never had the chance to set a month or two aside to solely focus on creating such a magic piece of art. Despite already getting in the studio to get started working on the album, it already feels like a vacation.

But before they could even get started, she had to ask about the last member of Harry’s team that she wasn’t able to meet before making the trip overseas.

“Mitch. Mitch Rowland. He was Ryan’s roommate.” Harry answers as YN takes a sip of her smoothie she made earlier that morning. Her and Harry walk side by side down the hallway on their way to the built-in home studio. The house they were staying in was absolutely beautiful. It was just sitting off the coast so almost every window in the house had a view of the beach. It has a lot of open space in each room, a spacious backyard and a patio area for get-togethers, but YN’s favorite part of the house is the home studio. She can’t wait until hers gets done by the time they get back from their trip.

“Wait, what happened to the other bloke that was supposed to come in?”

Harry takes the cup from her hand and takes a sip for himself, “He bailed.”

“Just like that?” YN raises her eyebrows in surprise as he nods around the cup. “Well shit. Is this new guy legit then?”

“Ryan said Mitch has been working at a pizza shop for the last couple of years and that they’re pretty good friends.” She nods along before being handed back her cup. “Met him about a week before we came out here and he’s pretty fucking wicked at the guitar. He’s pretty stiff competition compared to you.”

“Har, har,” YN playfully rolls her eyes at his teasing but the compliment simultaneously inflates her ego and gives her tummy butterflies at the same time. The feeling in her stomach only increases as she watches Harry rake a hand through his new haircut.

Only a week before they need to take off to Jamaica, YN and Harry take the trip back to Holmes Chapel to a very excited Anne. The woman never fails to extend a warm welcome—especially towards the young lady who her son’s been secretly in love with since he was a teenager.

They stay by the doorframe of Anne’s small kitchen and (despite YN’s few attempts to talk him out of it) watch as Harry gets ready for his first haircut in almost two years. He takes off his shirt since he doesn’t feel like plucking the hair off of the fabric, leaving him in his pajama pants. The two women watch as he gets his long locks tied back in a low ponytail and YN can’t help the giggle that tumbles out of her lips.

“What are you laughing at?” Harry can’t help but chuckle as well. As much as this transformation is needed in order to transition into this new chapter in his life, there’s no denying that he’s feeling anxious as well.

“M’nervous! I can’t help it,” YN beams, tightly linking her arm with Anne’s.

“You want to cut a bit of it off?” Harry offers.

“Like hell m’gonna to be partly responsible for this crime being committed in front of me eyes.”

The people in the room laugh at her playfully offended tone and Anne pats her hand reassuringly to the young woman’s arm. YN’s had her fair share of hair transformations over the years. For Harry, his long hair has always been her favorite. She remembers the day he told her he planned on growing it out with the intention of donating it and the day he asked her about some ways he could keep his hair out of his eyes—introducing his love for headscarves and small clips. She remembers when she had a real shitty day and he let her braid his long hair to cheer her up...only for him to keep them on for the show they had later that night. She loved to card her fingers through his hair and watch his eyes fight to stay open.

Right as the hairdresser begins to grab at the low ponytail and brings the blades of the scissors to his hair, YN playfully covers her eyes and digs her face into Anne’s arm, “I can’t watch!”

“I was the one with the long hair. I’ve had it for so much of One Direction that cutting it off just felt like starting afresh.”

YN’s eyes peek through the gap in between her fingers as she watches the deed be done. Harry also has a hand over his eyes and playfully groans out in pain.

She snaps a couple of pictures of him initially getting his hair trimmed before leaving to the living room to let him have his haircut in peace and have a chat with Anne. And once it was officially over, Harry only adds to the anticipation of his new haircut reveal when he tells her to cover her eyes.

“Hurry up, H. M’already all worked up.”

“Okay, okay,” She hears the sound of wood—presumingly the coffee table—scraping against the floor before he takes a take on it to be in front of her. “Open your eyes, love.”

Her eyes make their way up from the two birds on his chest up to his head.

“Huh,” She smiles contently at the sight in front of her. Harry’s hair no longer reaches below his shoulders. The curly curtains that once framed his face have been removed. His newly short locks don’t seem as curly as it used to be but they both know it’s still there. Harry’s hair is styled in an upward motion and all she wants to do is run her fingers through it.

So she brings a hand up to do just that. She combs her fingers through the top of his hair and she’s slightly surprised that his hair is not long enough for the action to last longer. Her gaze moves down to his eyes and sees him waiting for her approval.

“Is that a good ‘huh’?” He asks when she hasn’t said another word.

“It’s a good ‘huh.’” She tilts her head to the side as she continues to stare at him and a smile of his own creeps onto his face. She’s definitely going to miss his long hair, but on the other hand, she thinks his new look suits him as he starts a new chapter in life. And if she’s being completely honest with herself, he looks so fucking handsome.

When he sees her eyes continuing to bounce around the top of his head and around the rest of his face, he playfully pushes at her knee, “Stop or else I’ll get conceded.”

His chest swells when he sees that gorgeous smile of hers only become that much brighter, “Oh I think you’re way past that.”

“I was about to personify my hair but I decided not to,” Harry huffs out a smirk from his seat in front of his interview chair.

“M’excited for you to meet him though,” Harry says, rubbing his hands together. “Getting a lead guitarist is just the beginning for all this, y’know? Like it makes this that much more real.”

It’s really exciting to see Harry so excited about his music. Going from being in the band for five years and putting out an album a year was tiring to say the least but the fact that they were making music that they loved balanced out some of the stress. Now as an upcoming solo artist, it was inspiring to see him as passionate about music as he was when she first met him all those years ago.

“Well let’s stop wasting time then and let me go see how wicked this guy really is.” YN smiles and reaches for the door handle but before she can touch it, his hand covers hers. She blinks up at him as he brings their joined hands to his chest.

“You think talking to me is a waste of time, lovie?” Whether it was the teasing look in his eye or the way he smirks at her with his dimpled cheeks, but it has her mind going blank without a witty comment to fire back. Yet this is how they’ve been for years: making jokes that were borderline flirty, causing the other person to smirk or playfully roll their eyes in fake annoyance, acting like one another’s actions didn’t have an effect on them when it utterly and wholeheartedly did. Since they couldn’t do anything about it with the strict restrictions of the no-dating rule in the band, there was no harm or foul with these kinds of conversations.

Now everything is different.

They aren’t in the band anymore.

These stubble comments and questions left them searching for the truth behind each word that pushed past the other’s lips. Did the other person actually mean what they said or was it just them being how they always are?

At a loss for words, she furrows her brows with a rigid shake of her head, “N-no, I-I mean—”

“M’joking darling,” An amused smile graces his face from seeing her all flustered and tongue-tied. It’s a rare sight so whenever he’s able to catch her off guard in this way, he relishes in it.

YN pulls her hand away from Harry’s with an eye roll and a scoff, trying her best to play off a cool demeanor, “I know tha’.”

Despite her efforts, he continues to smirk down at her before twisting the door handle and pushing the door open.

“After you,” Harry extends a hand out towards the room. With one last look at him, she enters the room with the rim of the cup to her lips to hide the heat creeping its way up to her cheeks. She sees two of the producers, Tyler and Alex, messing around with the buttons on the panel and in a light discussion.

She also sees a guy in the recording room through the window above the huge studio console. His long hair covers his face as he looks down to tune his guitar.

“Is this him?” She asks, feeling Harry behind her.

Tyler turns around and gives a quick nod, “Should we let him know we’re ready for him?”

YN cocks up an eyebrow with a hand lazily resting on her hip, “Let’s see what he’s got.”

Given the good girl persona that One Direction’s management forced upon her during the majority of her career, no one would really expect her to look so intimidating. Sure, there’s always going to be some slight intimidation for the fact that she’s a member of one of the most famous bands in the world, making music that quickly lands them at the top of the charts, putting out new music, and performing to sold-out stadiums almost every night—but she’s been so prim and proper externally that some people wouldn’t think twice to write her off as anything else.

As the last year of the band progressed, more and more of her personality began to shine through to the outside world. She’s a harsh critic and doesn’t like to sugar coat shit—especially if it comes to a big project like this for one of the most important people in her life.

So as she takes a seat on the leather sofa chair with Harry sitting on the arm rest, she puts one leg over the other and crosses her arms over her chest with a neutral expression on her face. Harry might say that this hippie looking guy is a good guitarist, but YN needs to see that for herself.

“I was a bit skeptical about Mitch at first, m’not gonna lie,” YN lightly laughs in her interview chair. “I mean, v’seen a lot of talented guitarists so far during my music career so I was mainly looking to see like, ‘what’s so different about this guy?’”

From the first note that the guy behind the glass riffs—as cool as it was—she keeps from showing her thoughts and brings her cup to her lips. Harry pinches at his bottom lips as he watches for her reactions; needing her approval for something as vital as this racks his nerves like no other.

As Mitch continues to play, Harry sees the way YN begins to slowly move her head to the pretty melody. Her eyes scan the spot on the floor in front of her as she listens closely to what’s being played and the infamous crease in between her eyebrows appears.

“But the moment he started playing, he just...” She shakes her head with a smirk. “...he blew me fookin’ socks off.”

Mitch does a really cool riff on the guitar that has the four of them in the room whoop and shout in amazement.

“Woah!” Harry stands up from his seat and lifts his arms in the air.

“Holy shit!” YN lets out a laugh, putting her hands to her temple in disbelief. “Are yeh fookin’ kidding me?”

The next thing she knows, Harry’s removing his pink button up, crossing his arms across his torso and removing his shirt to place it onto her lap behind him. The two producers in the room soon catch on and start laughing hysterically at the sight before them.

Harry then proceeds to shimmy out of his tight, black jeans, leaving him in his tiny briefs, and sticks his arms in the air. YN places her index fingers in the corners of her mouth and blows out a loud whistle both for Mitch's guitar skills and Harry's undressing.

The two of them don’t waste another second as Harry takes her inside the recording room to formally introduce her to the newest member of the team.

“Mitch, this is my best friend YN. YN, this is—”

“Mitch fookin’ Rowland,” YN smirks, taking his outreached hand. “S’nice to meet yeh, mate.”

“Thanks, same here,” Mitch gives her a shy smile. “Harry’s told me a lot about you. He told me you’re a musician too?”

Trying not to be thrown off by his innocent tone, YN glances at Harry at Mitch’s unexpected comment but she’s quick to bounce back, “I am, yeah. Nothing too major though. Play a bit of guitar as well.”

“Yeah, and by ‘a bit,’” Harry throws a hand on her shoulder. “She means she’s practically married to it.”

“You have to show me some of your secrets then,” Mitch motions to the guitar that’s still pressed against himself.

“Sure, but before that, you gotta show me how you did that one riff earlier,” YN says as she’s already reaching for one of the guitars she’s brought for the trip and throwing the thick strap over her shoulder.

It’s strange to meet someone who hasn’t known their band. YN can’t remember the last time she met someone where they didn’t know her name and her success prior to being formally introduced. Since she was sixteen years old, she began to feel like everyone knew everything about her: her feelings, her background, what she was fucking thinking just because they read something in some sleazy, tabloid article. People had preconceived notions about her but with Mitch, it’s the complete opposite. It was an uncomfortable experience at first, but then YN fookin’ loves it.

“The thing with Mitch is that since he had no experience with being in a recording studio and YN having the same, if not more, experience with songwriting and that sort of thing, it really connected us in a way where the three of us sort of, balanced each other out,” Harry explains, before pitching at his bottom lip with his thumb and index finger. “We had each other to lean on and work this out together and the three of us wrote the majority of the album together.”

“The first song we wrote together was Ever Since New York,” YN recalls as she pushes a strand of hair behind her ear. “Knowing from personal experience, the best form of therapy and venting out yeh feelings is in songwriting so...that song was just waiting to come out of Harry.”

A major part of creating music is being vulnerable. It’s an intimate experience to write songs, especially with other people, in letting other people see your hurts, your feelings, and the kinds of thoughts that can keep you up late at night. It’s one of the reasons why YN and Harry are as close as they are. It took some time to get used to it at the beginning of their careers together, but they let each other see the deepest parts of themselves. They tell each other things that they’d be embarrassed to tell anyone else with no fear of judgment; they’ve created a safe space in one another...well, as safe as one can feel when they’re secret, deeper feelings for their best friend.

Ever Since New York came to life fairly easily; songwriting can be that way when writing from life experiences. After finalizing some of the lyrics about Harry’s sick father with YN and working out the chords with Mitch, the next they knew he was laying down the vocals for the song.

As everyone gets to work in the studio, YN finds herself reverting back to her old demeanor in the band: sitting in the corner of the room watching as the four male producers work their magic in front of the huge console of buttons and sliders. Not that she minded all that much since she was hired as a songwriter, there was nothing in that kind of job description for her to be with the other men producing Harry’s songs.

She knew her place without being told and she’s had years of experience in learning how to be okay with that...but that didn’t stop her mind from dreaming about being up there, moving various sliders, typing away at the desktop computer, and helping fix vocals as they appear in their zigzag form on the screen.

As if hearing her thoughts behind him, YN’s head perks up when Tom—better known as Kid Harpoon—spins around in his seat and beckons her over with a nod of his head.

When Harry comes out of the recording booth, a smile spreads across his face when he sees YN sitting in a swiveling chair with everyone else, clicking away at the desktop mouse as Kid points to the screen. She nods to whatever he’s saying and highlights the recorded vocals to make the needed adjustments.

When Kid sees Harry come up to them, he pipes up, “H, you didn’t tell me we got another producer on our team.”

“Oh, no s’nothing—”

“I thought you knew,” Harry says in-matter of fact, interrupting YN before she can finish. When she blinks up at him, he nods over to the computer screen. “Wanna show me what you’ve got so far?”

She gives him that smile that has been making his knees weak since he was sixteen years old. “Okay. Okay, yeah. Um, so here’s a bit from the first verse you did earlier...”

As she shows him the work she’s done, it takes him a second to make his eyes stop bouncing around her profile. She speaks so passionately about her work, her eyes lighting up like a kid in a candy store. The way her plushy lips push and pull with each word has him wanting to reach out to run his thumb over her bottom lip.

After all these years, how has his feelings for her not gone away?

He thought maybe this time it would be different. They’re not in the band anymore...but with her being hired on as a member of his album-making team, they’re practically co-workers once again.

Harry pulls his eyes away from her face and looks at the computer screen in hopes to drown out those intrusive thoughts. He just hopes this doesn’t affect their work...shit.

Next Song Here! 👻

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mysterious-moonstruck-musings · 1 year

Text

Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 18

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC Smut & Sensitive Topic Warning - Minors DNI New as of 8/25/2023

SUPPORT YOUR CREATORS. REBLOGGING & COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

Series Rating: Explicit (18+)

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives.

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Quote: "You are enough."

A/N: This chapter contains discussions about suicide. It also contains a little angst, light smut, and fluff. More after the jump.

Since we don't get a POV from Dieter in this series, I thought it might be nice to pick a few songs from the master playlist to share. I will probably start doing this for the remaining chapters so that we can get inside his head a little bit. At this point, I feel like the entire No Name Face album by Lifehouse is Dieter's life. So, you will get a lot of songs from that, but I'll throw in some others too. 😊

Before you start reading, I recommend having some tissue and chocolate on hand. It gets heavy toward the end. It does get a little graphic and the topic of death is discussed. Consider that a final warning. Lastly, a quick thank you to @for-a-longlongtime for being my beta on this chapter. It was nice to have early feedback given the sensitive nature of the topics covered in this one. Enough rambling from me. Happy reading.

Dieter and I got up early the next morning to start preparing for our trip. He left to go get some things from his house while I packed. I was a little flustered because I didn’t know where we were going or what we were doing. When I asked him what to bring, he gave me a mischievous grin before telling me to pack for any possible situation. That only annoyed me further. I ended up packing two bags worth of stuff and I didn’t care how excessive it was. That’s what he got for not telling me things.

When he returned later in the morning, he brought in a duffle bag that he had packed and added his phone charger and clothing items that he kept at my house. By the way he moved, I could tell that his mood had started to shift over the past couple of hours. He seemed increasingly anxious and more fidgety than usual. I wasn't sure what was prompting the change - whether it was the idea of leaving town or the change in routine.

We left around midday. Dieter had let me know that we had nearly a seven-hour drive to get to wherever it was we were going. I texted Lauren to let her know we would be out of town for a few days. Unsurprisingly, she started rapidly firing off questions about the trip that I didn’t have answers to. She got more annoyed with every “I don’t know” response I sent. She finally gave up and told me to have fun.

Dieter took a minute to call Gabby, because apparently cell service wasn’t the greatest at our destination. When she answered, he was quick to let her know she was on speaker phone and that I was with him in the car, which seemed odd to me. He told her we were on our way to Sonoma, and she fell quiet for a moment. I watched the frown that fell over his face as he waited for a response. She inhaled sharply before she finally spoke.

“Good. I’m happy to hear you guys are gonna spend some time away together. Especially there. I think it's a good thing.”

“Yeah, I agree. I think it’s a good idea. I’ll, ugh, I’ll talk to you when we get back.”

There was an odd tone to both of their voices, which almost made me feel like they were talking in code. They said their goodbyes shortly after that.

The long drive seemed to be making Dieter restless. He was getting more and more keyed up with every mile that passed. He seemed very fidgety and on edge. When it got close to dinner time, we pulled off at a small diner that was fairly empty. He seemed distracted throughout the meal, occasionally staring off into the distance at nothing. I didn’t mention anything about it, but it definitely had my attention. We ate quickly and left without him being noticed by anyone, thankfully. I had hoped the stop would help him relax some, but that didn’t seem to be the case. As soon as we got back on the road, I grabbed his right hand and held it in both of mine, gently rubbing it the entire time. I tried to keep a light conversation going to distract him, which seemed to help some.

Around 9:30 pm, Dieter informed me that we were almost at our destination. As we turned down a small road, I started to notice large open fields full of rows of something I couldn’t make out in the darkness. We eventually came to a large Spanish Colonial style house. It was an older home, but still beautiful. Some parts of the aged and discolored stone walls were covered in vines that crept all the way to the top. Everywhere you looked you were met with brightly colored plants and foliage. I still had no clue where we were.

Dieter parked the car out front. When we exited the vehicle, we were met by two men and a woman. Dieter passed his keys off to the younger of the two men, who went to get our bags out of the car. The other two met us in front of the large wooden entry doors.

“Hola Lucia, Mateo.” Dieter gave the man a nod as Lucia came in for a tight hug. She seemed very excited to see him and somewhat emotional. They had a quick conversation in Spanish that I couldn’t follow. I heard Dieter mention my name as he gestured toward me. Lucia came over to hug me, which took me by surprise.

As she pulled away, her eyes sparkled, and she gave me a genuine smile.

“I’m so happy to meet you. It’s been too long since he’s been here. It’s wonderful to see you both.”

Lucia was a petite older woman with graying hair and kind eyes. She spoke with a slight Spanish accent. She seemed very sweet. She quickly introduced me to her husband, Mateo, who had the same distinguished accent. He seemed a little gruff, but nice. He was on the taller side and fit for someone his age. He had a wonderful head full of thick dark hair. I imagined he was probably quite the looker in his younger years.

We all walked in through the big wooden doors. On the other side was a courtyard full of plants and greenery. There was a large two-tiered fountain in the center. Lucia turned to let us know the master suite had been prepared for us and the kitchen was stocked if we needed anything to snack on. Then, they said their goodbyes and headed in for the night. They disappeared off to the left and entered what looked like a small apartment area attached to the main home. I turned to Dieter with a questioning look on my face. I still had no idea what was going on.

“Lucia and Mateo are the caretakers for this place. They live in the staff apartment over there with their grandson, Jose.”

I nodded. That didn’t really clear anything up for me.

“So, what is this place exactly?”

“It’s a vineyard.” I nodded my head, still not fully understanding how Dieter fit into this equation. He seemed hesitant to offer any further details, so I didn’t prod.

We walked toward the main entrance of the house, seeing the younger gentleman, who I assumed was Jose, exit and wish us a good evening.

The inside of the house was beautiful. It had an old-world charm to it. Antique furnishings could be seen everywhere you looked. The walls and ceiling were a soft cream color. Dark wooden beams accented the ceiling. All the doors were made of the same dark wood as were the door trim and baseboards. The floor was made with what appeared to be dark brick stones. There was a large bronze chandelier that hung over the dark wooden entryway table. In the center of the table sat a large vase full of white roses.

I slowly followed behind Dieter as he made his way toward the stairwell, stopping ever so often to look at different things. I was drawn to a small accent table at the foot of the stairs that had a lot of old framed photos sitting on it. They were all black and white and appeared to have been taken in this house based on the familiar furnishings in the background. A picture of a woman holding a small boy caught my eye. I don’t know why, but I picked it up for a closer look.

“Do you know who these people are?”

“Previous owners of this place,” he said from behind me.

I examined the picture further. The woman was smiling, but something in her eyes looked sad. It was stirring some sort of emotion in me that I couldn’t place.

“She’s beautiful,” I mumbled quietly.

Dieter grabbed my free hand as he cleared his throat.

“How about we head up and get ready for bed. We’re gonna have a long day tomorrow.”

I set the picture back down and nodded. We made our way upstairs. Our room was huge. It had a sitting area around a fireplace. There were large glass doors that opened out onto a terrace. The doors were framed with sheer flowy curtains, layered with thicker darker colored ones to block the sunlight. A large four poster king bed sat opposite of the sitting area. The dark wood of the frame had intricate carvings that matched the style of the house. A matching wardrobe set off to one side. One of the doors was open, revealing two fluffy robes and a basket full of travel sized items that we might need for our stay. Our bags had been placed on the floor next to the wardrobe.

“This place is amazing,” I said as I turned to Dieter. I realized he had been watching me take everything in with a smirk on his face.

He walked over to me and wrapped one arm around my waist, while putting the other hand on my cheek. He pulled me tightly against him, briefly rubbing his nose against mine before kissing me gently. I deepened the kiss, but he pulled away soon after, staring into my eyes. His anxiety was still clear, even though he began to relax into our embrace. I struggled to read the emotion on his face. I could tell he was thinking about something as he started to chew at his lip, but he didn’t say anything. He gave me another quick kiss before saying we should get ready for bed.

I dug through my bag for my nightshirt. It was the same racerback tank sleep shirt I had worn in New York the night we had watched the movie. My mind briefly wandered back to that night. That was the night both of our lives got upturned by each other. Now here we were. After grabbing my toothbrush and toothpaste from my luggage, I went to the bathroom.

The bathroom was in the same style as the rest of the house. All stone and dark wood. An old clawfoot bathtub sat in one corner. There was a glass walk-in shower in the other. The bathroom had clearly been updated at some point, but it still captured the old world charm the rest of the house had. I absolutely loved it.

Once I was down to brushing my teeth, I opened the door for Dieter. He had already changed into his shorts by the time he came in with his toothbrush. I noticed his eyes roaming over my bare skin, but he behaved himself, for the most part. He definitely had some wandering hands once we snuggled into bed, but eventually he settled down and dozed off after we tangled ourselves up together. I wasn’t far behind him.

The following morning, I was awakened by Dieter gently brushing my hair off my face. When my eyes fluttered open, he was propped up on his elbow staring at me with a hint of a smile on his face. I gave him a playful look before I turned over on my back, raising my arms above my head and pointing my toes for a full body stretch. His eyes very obviously roamed over my body as I did so. He reached over and put his hand around my midsection, pulling me in closer to bury his face in the crook of my neck.

“Good morning, mi estrella,” he huskily mumbled into my neck. The vibration from his voice and heat from his breath caused goosebumps to ripple right under my skin. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he moved up to kiss me deeply. His hand slowly moved up my thigh, dipping under my night shirt to rest on the bare skin of my waist. But before it could go any further, we were interrupted by a landline phone ringing next to the bed. He pulled away, resting his forehead against mine for a moment as he sighed heavily. Then he moved to answer the phone, speaking in Spanish as he did so. I heard him say Lucia’s name, possibly telling her good morning. He hung up and turned to me with an amused look on his face.

“You ready to get the day started?”

“That depends, what’s on the agenda?” I replied, slightly bemused. He flashed a toothy smile at me.

“First, breakfast. It’s waiting for us outside.”

He got out of bed and threw a robe at me to put on. He pulled back the curtains and opened the glass doors that led out to the terrace. Sure enough, breakfast was set up on a table for us.

I smirked, “Damn, I could get used to this.”

I threw on the robe and joined him outside to eat.

“Seriously, what’s on the agenda for today?”

“Have you ever ridden a horse?” He asked me with a dimpled grin. I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yes, but it’s been a while. Why?”

“I thought we could take a ride around the grounds. It’s the best way to travel around here.” He winked at me.

I narrowed my eyes at him, “Well, I’m glad I did pack for every possible scenario. Horses were not on my bingo card though. If I would’ve known, I could’ve brought my riding crop, but I’m not sure it's made to be used on horses.” Dieter’s eyes widened and he nearly choked on the food he was chewing. I laughed.

“Are you making dirty jokes right now?” He looked a little shocked as I continued to chuckle.

“Yes. I do that sometimes.” He gave me a big smile as he shook his head at me.

We finished eating, then got dressed. Luckily, I had brought some jeans and outdoor shoes to wear. We made our way out back to a small horse stable. I watched as he saddled up two horses for us. I was surprised at how well he knew his way around the place and how good he was with the horses. I didn’t know this was a skill he had. It was kind of hot. The thought of him in a cowboy hat was suddenly doing things to me. He caught me staring at him, with what I’m sure was an inappropriate look on my face. He raised a brow at me with a flirty look on his face. That wasn’t helping my situation.

“You see something you like ma’am?” I huffed at him as I rolled my eyes. Turning away to look around at my surroundings. “Yes, the view here is amazing”. I could hear him chuckling behind me. He knew what he was doing.

Once he got the horses ready, we spent the entire morning riding across the grounds. The property was expansive and beautiful. There were rows of vines that seemed to go on for miles. On the north side of the property was a wooded area with trails that we rode on for a while. The trail opened to a small creek. It was very peaceful there.

As we made our way around, Dieter would point things out and explain how it related to viticulture, or the cultivation of grapevines. Anything from topographical features to the different blocks of soil types and how those things affected vine growth. I was honestly a little shocked he knew so much on the topic.

Overall, his mood seemed good throughout the morning. However, I could sense small shifts during moments of silence. I could tell he had something on his mind the whole time, even when he was engaged in conversation. He seemed to move between moments of melancholy and anxiety.

Once we realized it was getting close to lunch time, we headed back toward the house. He said we would be having a picnic on the hillside, but we needed to pick up the food from Lucia. I wondered how much of this trip he had planned himself and how much was Lucia. I couldn’t tell, but I loved how much thought had gone into it. If he hadn't already owned my body and soul, this trip definitely would have solidified things between us. I could feel the connection between us getting stronger just by being here together. Even though we hadn’t discussed it yet, it felt like his feelings were in the same place as mine at this point.

We made a quick stop at the house to grab our lunch and a large picnic blanket. Dieter quickly packed everything away in a saddle bag before we headed off to whatever spot he had picked out. He led me to a hilltop on the west side of the property that had an amazing view of all the surroundings. You could see the house, the fields, and the periphery of the wooded area. It was a perfect spot. As we ate, he continued to tell me about things on the property and the challenges of the wine making process. It was kind of adorable, as talking about it caused a small spark of excitement in his eyes.

While he spoke, I noticed a stone arch with steps near the edge of the wooded area. I could vaguely make out what looked like a lattice style fence under the growth out to the sides of it. I hadn't noticed it before since we didn’t ride down that far.

“What’s that over there?” I asked him. He was quiet for a minute. I noticed his brows knitted together.

“It’s the family cemetery.”

“Oh.” I replied solemnly. The question seemed to momentarily shift his mood again, but it didn’t last long. He changed the subject by pulling out a bottle of wine. He was about to pour it into a glass, but I took it from him and drank from the bottle. He gave me a surprised look.

“Glasses aren’t necessary,” I said with a chuckle, then passed him the bottle. We drank a good deal of it as we sat chatting. Both of us were clearly becoming more relaxed. The chatting somehow turned into a heated make out session, until he abruptly peeled himself away from me.

“I need to calm down before we both end up naked. They can probably see us up here.”

I laughed before giving him one last chaste kiss on the lips. He sat propped up on one arm, staring down at me for some time. Using his other hand to brush my hair back or to drape around my midsection. Occasionally bending to give me a brief kiss in varying places on my face. We sat in silence like that for a while. Just taking each other in and being together. It was strangely peaceful and intimate. The quiet moment ended when one of the horses wandered over and started nibbling at the leftover fruit, which sent us into a fit of laughter as Dieter tried to take it away from the horse, who was not having it. We took that as our cue to get going.

We spent several more hours riding and walking around in the fields. We were both filthy before all was said and done. We had a good time though and I had learned a lot from him. I was strangely very much into the topic of viticulture all of a sudden.

We made our way back to the stables. I went ahead to the house to shower and get ready for dinner while Dieter took care of the horses. Once he was finished, he too came to shower while I was getting dressed. We decided to be a little extra and dress up for the occasion. I wore a burgundy sundress and put my hair up in a messy curly updo. Dieter wore some dark slacks with a white button up dress shirt. He rolled up the sleeves and left the top few buttons open. The way the shirt fit across his shoulders and around his arms was distracting. All I could think about was ripping it off him. He caught me staring more than once and gave me a flirty smile every single time.

Once we were ready, he grabbed my hand and led me downstairs. Lucia had set up dinner for us on the patio outside of the sitting room. There was a large tree in the middle that had lit antique chandeliers in varying sizes hanging from it. The table was set beautifully with a tablecloth, a small vase of white roses, and a few small candles sitting in the middle of the tablescape. The sun was just starting to disappear behind the hills which made for a very romantic setting. I was surprised by it all and it made me a little emotional. I wasn’t used to such grand gestures. I took a deep breath to try and steady myself as I felt my eyes begin to water. Thankfully it passed before Dieter noticed…or maybe he did see it and just chose not to say anything.

We spent dinner talking about our day. There was a lot of laughing and intense gazes that eventually led into soft touches across the table and legs grazing underneath it. As the final bits of daylight disappeared and we indulged in the wine, I could feel the atmosphere shifting. You could cut the sexual tension with a knife. I knew exactly how this evening was going to end one way or another and it couldn't come soon enough. I had already caught myself clenching my thighs together all throughout dinner. It was maddening.

Once we finished eating, we wandered inside to the dimly lit sitting room. I was drawn to a small table near the window that had a bunch of old framed pictures on it. They were pictures of the same people from before. There was one in particular that caught my attention. It was the same woman from earlier, dancing with a handsome dark-haired man in what looked like this same room. I picked it up to look at it as Dieter walked up behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me tightly against him as he looked at the picture over my shoulder. I could feel his jaw tightening. I set the picture down and started examining the antique gramophone that sat next to the pictures.

“I’ve never seen one of these in person. Does it work?” I turned to look at him. He gave me a sad smile.

“I’m not sure. It used to.”

He moved to turn it on. To our surprise a classical melody started playing almost immediately through the horn. I smiled up at Dieter. He smiled back at me as he grabbed my hands and pulled me toward the open space in front of the patio doors. He put one arm around my waist, pulling me in closely as he held the other and started to sway to the music. I couldn’t help the smile that broke across my face.

We danced in silence for several minutes, gazing deeply into each other's eyes. Eventually the pace of the music picked up speed. He responded by moving us around the room in practiced motions that I wasn’t expecting. Both of us giggling like children as we went. As the music came to a close, he twirled me around and ended it by dipping me backwards. Enthusiastic smiles were plastered across both of our faces as he leaned down and met me for a kiss. As he raised me back to a standing position, the kiss deepened. I reached up to run my hands through his hair while his hands gripped my hips.

I could feel his posture change as he slowed things down, eventually stopping to rest his head against mine with his eyes closed. When I pulled back to look at him, his brows were drawn tightly together, creating a deep crease between them. When he finally opened his eyes, they were watery and full of some emotion that I could not discern. He searched my face as he pushed some loose curls back from my forehead. He leaned in to kiss me, more urgently this time, but broke away after a moment to ask if I wanted to go upstairs. I gave him a quick nod while I continued to study his face. He seemed to be cycling through several different emotions all at once.

We quickly made our way back to our room and started undressing each other as soon as the door closed behind us. He scooted back onto the center of the bed, motioning for me to come to him. I crawled over and straddled his lap. I could already feel his hardness pressing against me as he kissed down my neck and breasts. I could feel his fingers running up the inside of my thigh before they met the bundle of nerves between my legs. I was already wet and ready for him when he inserted his fingers. I was in such a frenzy for him that it didn’t take long for me to be overcome by pleasure from his movements. Before I had a chance to recover, he was already placing himself at my entrance. I wasted no time in sinking down on him.

It was slow and sensual; the focus was on our connection to one another. The emotions were running deep this time. It was the most intense that it had ever been. We went on for some time, both of us sweaty and panting into each other's mouths. As I increased the speed of my rhythm, I could feel the build of a second release nearing. He too was close. When my muscles tightened around him, he spilled into me with a soft groan. We hugged each other tightly, burying our faces into one another as we both tensed through our releases.

We sat with him still inside me, unmoving for some time. We shared gazes, soft touches, and more kisses. Eventually my legs started to protest, worn out from the day's activities. I groaned as we moved to lay down under the covers where we continued our intimate embrace. We both drifted off to sleep soon after.

I later awoke to the feel of a soft breeze and morning dew creeping into the room from the open terrace doors. The sunlight was just beginning to peek over the horizon, giving the room a soft glow. The bed beside me was empty and cold with Dieter nowhere in sight. I grabbed one of the fluffy robes from the wardrobe and walked out onto the terrace to find him. He was sitting in a chair, staring off in the distance with red rimmed eyes and a half empty bottle of bourbon in his hand. His eyes met mine. He looked lost and broken in a way that I had never seen. Whatever it was that had been bothering him the last couple of days was finally breaking through the surface. I approached him and reached for the hand he had resting on his chest. He pulled me over to him and hugged me around the waist, resting his forehead against my stomach.

“I want to talk to you about something,” he said with a gravelly voice.

“It’s something that I’ve never fully told anyone, but I think it’s time I did. If I’m ever gonna get my shit together, I have to. I think you’re the only person I feel comfortable opening up to about it. It’s one of the reasons I wanted to bring you here.”

Dieter leaned back into the seat as I climbed up onto his lap, straddling his hips to sit face to face with him. He too was wearing one of the robes from our room. I could tell he hadn’t bothered to put anything else on underneath. Normally, that would have been distracting, but right now it was just an afterthought. I took the bourbon bottle from his left hand and set it on the ground. Then started rubbing the back of his neck. The fingers of my right hand were still entwined with his against his chest.

“I know I’ve never mentioned my parents. You might have caught on that they died when we were younger, but I’ve never told you the details. My mom’s death specifically is something that I’ve really struggled with. I haven’t even told my sister or brother everything that happened the day that she died.”

He took a deep breath and looked off into the distance where he had been staring earlier.

“This place belonged to my parents. It belongs to me now, but this is only like the fourth time I’ve been back here since my father died when I was twenty.”

He drew his brows down together before he continued. I could tell he was trying hard to control his emotions.

“Before that, I hadn’t been here since we buried my mom on the property when I was thirteen. I just couldn’t handle the memories.”

He briefly stopped speaking, seeming to think through his next words.

“The week that she died…my father was out of town on business. She had always struggled with depression and at the time I didn’t even really understand what that meant. That week she seemed worse than normal, and I thought she just really missed dad. She always had a harder time when he was gone.”

He paused, inhaling deeply again. He placed his right hand on my hip and knotted the fabric of my robe in his fist before he continued. He was still staring off in the distance, unblinking.

“She really loved flowers. White roses specifically. She said they symbolized love, loyalty, and a fresh start. She was always talking about the meaning and symbolism of things.” He gave a small laugh before briefly biting at his lip.

“That morning I woke up really early. I’d planned to go get some fresh flowers from her garden to help cheer her up when she got out of bed. It was an unusual thing for me to do. I mean, I would bring her flowers all the time, but never early in the morning like that. So, I’m sure it never crossed her mind that I would be the one to find her.”

My breath caught in my throat. This is the reason he is so broken. This is why he is so afraid of love and loss. This one incident had shaped his life of loveless solitude. Since the moment I had met him, he had a sadness behind his eyes that was unreadable. Even when he seemed to be at his happiest, I could sense it just underneath the surface. This is what he has been holding on to since the day he lost one of the most important people in his life and he was choosing to share it with me rather than anyone else.

I knew I had been feeling a shift in our relationship, but I wasn’t expecting this. He was trusting me with his biggest and most heartbreaking secret. I sat in silence, tears slowly starting to slide down my face as I understood what he was about to tell me. I didn’t know what to say, so I just continued to comfort him with physical touch as always. It had become our secret language to one another after all.

He looked down at our entwined hands with a stuttered breath as he continued. He talked slowly, stopping ever so often to manage his emotions.

“It was during sunrise. Kind of like it is now. I walked down to her garden. There used to be a huge apple tree that grew near that old fountain down there at the bottom of the hill. I saw her as soon as I got to the edge of the garden. I knew what I was seeing, but I couldn’t really process it. She was hanging from the tree. My automatic reaction was to run over and try to hold her up. To take the pressure off the rope. I just knew she would be fine if I could only hold her up. I don’t know how long I stood there trying to hold her and screaming for help before somebody heard me. It seemed like an eternity. Finally, one of the workers heard me and rushed over.”

His voice became very flat and void of emotion. He continued to stare at our hands blankly.

“Everything that happened after that is kind of a blur. I remember sitting on the ground and crying…while they cut the rope to bring her down. It was clear she’d been there for a while. She was blue and cold. At the time, I felt like I’d failed her. I should’ve gone out sooner or tried harder to hold her up. I know that’s ridiculous because they said she’d likely been there most of the night.”

He briefly shook his head from side to side before continuing, keeping his eyes focused on our hands.

“The next day… out of pure rage, I set the tree and the garden on fire. I stood there and watched it burn while everybody rushed to put it out. My father was so angry about it.”

His voice shook. He was starting to break. I could see it was taking everything in him to hold it back. He finally looked up at me and my heart shattered.

“Why wasn’t I enough for her to want to stay? Why couldn’t she stay for her kids? I literally worshiped the ground she walked on. She was my life and none of us were enough for her.”

Dieter started sobbing. I hugged him and cried with him. He continued with his head buried in my neck.

“I have so much anger toward her for leaving us like that and I hate myself for it. I feel like, if I wasn’t enough for my mother, how can I ever be enough for anyone else? Why do I deserve to find happiness when she couldn’t? I’m so afraid of finding someone I want in my life in every way and they’re going to leave me because I can’t get my shit together or something’s gonna happen to them and I’m not going to be able to handle it. I’m already on the edge as it is. What if I'm like her and I do what she did to someone else? I don’t want to put someone through that. I haven’t been able to bring myself to take that chance and I’ve lived a fucking miserable existence because of it. I don’t want that anymore.”

I raised his face with both of my hands to make him look at me. The look in his eye seemed different. Almost relieved.

“Dieter, you are enough.” He tried to look away from me, but I wouldn’t let him.

“You hear me. You really are enough. Don’t ever tell yourself otherwise. You’re such a selfless person, I know you would never do anything like she did. She was sick. Depression is a very consuming thing if it’s not treated properly. I mean, you’ll never really know what she was dealing with. It could have been more than that, you know? Honestly, you have every right to be angry with her. She hurt you and put you in a really painful situation. Don’t feel bad about that. But you also need to be able to forgive her and understand that what she was going through had nothing to do with you. Otherwise, I don’t think you’ll ever be able to move on. The fact that you’ve finally opened up to someone is amazing though. It’s a good first step and I’m proud of you for doing it. I know how hard it was for you. Thank you for trusting me with this part of yourself.”

Dieter shook his head in agreement, then took a deep stuttering breath. I could smell the thick scent of bourbon as he exhaled. He suddenly looked exhausted. I could tell this had taken a lot out of him. I kissed his forehead and hugged him again. I could feel all the tension leave his body as he melted into me.

I was falling hard for this beautiful, broken man. He was either going to be the best thing that ever happened to me or absolutely crush my soul. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could continue saying we were just friends if there was going to be this much emotion involved. I think he was starting to sense it too. This weekend was changing things between us in so many ways. This goes far beyond “just friends” and even the newly added “benefits”.

Dieter pulled away and wiped the tears off my face with each of his thumbs, letting his hands cup my face. He studied me, his brows drew down together. He looked as if he was trying to make some sort of decision. He pushed the hair back from my face and kissed me gently. Then he leaned his forehead against mine. “We should probably try to get a couple hours of sleep. I’ve kept you up most of the night.” I gave him a small smile as I agreed.

He stood up, lifting me up from his lap, then sat me on the ground. We went back inside. He closed the terrace doors behind us and pulled the blackout curtains shut. We crawled into bed together. He turned on his side, snuggled his head into the crook of my neck, and tangled his legs in with mine. He threw his arm across me, grabbed my hand that was resting just below my neck, and entwined our fingers there. I hadn’t even realized I was doing the thing with my hand, but he did. He always did and he always knew how to ease my anxiety. Never questioning the cause of it.

He quickly fell into a deep sleep. I laid there for a while just listening to him. He seemed less restless than he had been in recent weeks. I hoped that some of the weight had been lifted as he had shared his pain with me. I would take on all of his pain if I could. I wanted nothing more than to see this man truly happy and unburdened by his past. Eventually I also drifted off to sleep.

We were awakened a few hours later by the phone. Dieter rolled over to answer. Mateo called to let us know that breakfast was ready. He thanked him and hung up the phone. We both groaned and snuggled further into bed, facing each other with arms and legs wrapped around one another.

I could feel his eyes on me, and I slowly opened mine to look at him. There was a slight glow sneaking into the room from the sunlight. Just enough for me to make out the expression on his face. He looked almost giddy or hopeful? He smiled at me and kissed my forehead. He mumbled, “Good morning, mi luz en la oscuridad” into my hair then leaned down for a slow, sensual kiss. Which is not what I was expecting after the early morning events.

“Are you ever gonna tell me what that means?” I asked him with a smirk.

“One day I will. I promise,” he said through a smile as he leaned in for another quick kiss.

He broke away and suddenly got very serious. He raised up above me on his elbow. “Look, I…” he started, then froze for a minute. Trying to find his words. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I know that we agreed this whole thing between us is…that we…fuck. I don’t know how to say this.”

I had to admit, a flustered Dieter was pretty damn cute. I hadn’t had the pleasure of really seeing this version of him before. I raised my hand to rub the short hair at the nape of his neck and gave him an encouraging smile.

“I know we both said that we’re not doing the relationship thing, but I can’t deny how I feel anymore. I’ve been breaking all the fucking friend rules for weeks and you haven’t stopped me.”

He paused briefly, clearly working up the courage to continue. He took a deep breath to steady himself.

“So, I’m just gonna say it. I’m in love with you and I can’t help it. I don’t know what you wanna do with that, but if your feelings have changed about things, I’m willing to try to be with you as something more. I want to be with you. There’s something about you that draws me in and puts me at peace and I…” his voice broke a little.

He was actually getting emotional about this. There was none of the cocky jokes or usual confidence behind his words. He took a second to pull himself together.

“Ugh, I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I feel like I have to at least try because living with the what ifs may kill me before anything else does. And I know you have your own shit to work through… I wanna continue to support you through that, like you have me. I want you to know that I’ll never treat you like your ex-husband did. Actually, if I ever see him out in public again, I’ll make him eat his own fucking teeth for what he did to you.” His last statement gave me a good chuckle.

I think my silence began to make him a little uneasy. His newly returned confidence was fading slightly. I sat there for a moment, staring at him intently before I spoke. Trying to decide if this was a good idea. Especially after his emotional display from earlier. Was he really in a place to decide this is what he wanted? Or was this some sort of reaction to help himself feel better in the moment? He did say he had been thinking about it for a while. I also had to consider the things his sister had said to me previously. Could this really work between us? I knew from this point on, it had to be all or nothing because there was no going back, especially after everything that has happened over the last couple of weeks.

Dieter took a deep breath. “You’re kind of breaking my heart here with the silence,” he said as he let out a nervous laugh.

I gave him a big toothy smile as I pulled him down for a very enthusiastic kiss, then spoke against his lips.

“I honestly don’t know how I could say no. You’ve had me hooked since New York if I’m being honest.”

A big smile slowly spread across his face in return.

“I fucking knew it.”

A/N: There you have it folks. We now know what happened to our dear sweet Dieter. From this point on, we are going to start diving deep into some mental health stuff as our couple tries to navigate their relationship. It’s going to get a little dark at times, but there will be a happy ending. Hopefully you will stick with me till the end.

In case you missed the mood board from this week’s teaser, I’ve included it below.

Next Chapter

Tag List: @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @for-a-longlongtime @hisandsnakes @chaoticfestninja @survivingandenduring @partyofone3413 @cakipy-blog @pedrostories @titlee78 @wannab-urs

Let me know in the comments below if you would like to be added to the tag list.

#dieter x ofc #dieter bravo fic #dieter bravo x oc #dieter bravo #pedro pascal #Destiny & Deliverance Series #pedrostories #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #Pedro Pascal Fanfic #dieter bravo fluff #dieter bravo fanfiction #Spotify

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tired-old-men · 2 months

Note

Your jobs seem stressful, what do you guys do to de-stress?

Thunderhawk

Our jobs can be really stressful especially since we are constantly on duty to keep Angel Island safe, however we do get some free time to rest and unwind. Everyone needs to rest and refresh to be on their A game including us Guardians.

For me, I destress by spending quality time with the family when I can. As expected of people that constantly work and live together we tend to spend most of our free time independently, which is all fine and good.. but we are a family after all, and getting to share some genuine time together, watch a movie, maybe play a board game or two, sharing a big meal, just gives me a nice warm feeling and reminds us of the simple moments in life together. Slowing down and enjoying the little things.

Sometimes when work gets really overwhelming I stop for a moment, I focus on my breath and pay subtle attention at whats around me, how things look, sound, feel, maybe taste, I notice my feelings in the moment and remind myself of those little happy moments in life. It’s helped me destress over the years and has even come in handy when my anxiety would try to get the best of me. -smiles-

Sojourner

What do I do to de-stress? Besides beautiful women -smirks then clears throat-, I enjoy the occasional cigar as opposed to my usual cigarettes, I don’t drink too often but I’ll even enjoy a glass of whiskey on the rocks with my smoke. Just find a good spot to sit outside and enjoy the view and maybe some tunes, although the sounds of the Island’s wilderness is the perfect music to my ears.

At times the best way for me to de-stress is to go out hiking and especially camping. Sometimes I’ll take my son or another one of the boys along for the trip but other times I’ll go by myself, just exploring and experiencing Angel Island’s raw beauty brings me a lot of peace and provides the space for personal reflection too. Can’t beat a walk in nature I’ll tell you that!

Sabre

To say that this job is stressful would be an understatement in my opinion… I’ve tried a few things to destress but I really enjoy some quiet time along with a nice cup of tea, perhaps even a book or a good album to listen too. I’ve also found working on my garden to be quite therapeutic for me in a way. Gives me something to focus on besides work, and as much as it reminds me to take care of my plants it reminds me to take care of myself too. Originally my wife started this garden so I’d say it also holds some fond memories to reminisce about.

Locke

De-stress? Hmm.. I’d probably say meditation is my biggest guide when I feel burdened. I’ve read some of my ancestors would meditate so much they would even reach new levels of consciousness and even find greater insight into their chaos abilities. For me it keeps me focused on the present and helps organize my thoughts. I um- sometimes go out maybe into Echidnaopolis or another town on Island, just socialize a bit… Although my favorite places I go to are some of the old ruins or caves found around the Island, lots of history to uncover, it fills me with such an exciting energy I tend to forget about whatever might have been stressing me at the moment. -smiles sheepishly-

Spectre

Hm…I meditate. I read. I tend to write about my thoughts, feelings, and observations as it helps gather all my introspections and provide greater insight into them… … I’ll also swim or dive from time to time…water is rather soothing…

#Guardians.txt #charleecat-bat #Brotherhood of Guardians #Harlan the Echidna #Sometimes we just need the simple reminder to slow down and take a breath ♥#and sometimes I just need a good excuse to draw Harlan lol -idk man this resonated with me on a personal level so...#Gentle reminders from Brother Harlan #🎵 Breathe ~ breathe in the air ~ don't be afraid to care~#💿 Pink Floyd's song 'Breathe' has been my personal life saver in times of great stress and anxiety

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stormblessed95 · 26 days

Note

Thank you so much for answering me Storm!

When I sent that ask I had just come from twitter where some ARMYs where claiming that dropping Muse and Who to support Yoongi is what Jimin would want, that his album has been out for a month already so it not a big deal to move on.

I saw you reblog that post about Jimin standing with Yoongi, along with not seeing you post much about the hate Jimin has been getting lately, and my frustration towards those that are dropping Jimin to support Yoongi may have been projected on to you.

I don't expect you to be a "content creator", I'm very grateful for the time and energy you give to answer our questions and make thoughtful posts about Jikook and BTS. I have seen you post asks with reporting links before, so I was under the assumption that was something you allowed on your blog (especially for serious issues). If that has changed (which is fine! some people want their blogs/accounts/fandom spaces to be free of reports and anti discussion), I'm sorry for not knowing or not remembering!

It was not at all my intention to victimize Jimin, as I said people have resorted to saying things like "Jimin would want us to do this" and thus using Jimin's loving friendship with Yoongi as a way to justify not supporting Jimin anymore (or as much).

I have noticed that you hadn't posted about Yoongi! I was actually wondering if you were doing alright seeing as he is also your bias. I had even wanted to ask you if you knew some good sources to get information on what was happening, because there was a lot of misinformation and I was genuinely scared for Yoongi.

Seeing as this was a misunderstanding on my part, I don't wish to unfollow you if that's okay? Chapter Two and this recent year has made finding actual ARMYs who support ALL SEVEN members hard. I'm sorry if my ask made you uncomfortable in any way, and again hope you and your loved ones are happy and healthy 💜💜

I know we are all under the assumptions at times that our personal moral panic is unique and unprecedented.... But I promise that it's not, and it's important to remember that too 💜

Like everyone else, I'm not really okay with seeing all the hate and slander that's been happening lately. I want to cry if I think about it too long or hard.

To make things a little more clear, if you send me "what are your thoughts on *insert essay length ask or paragraph length ask over hate x member is experiencing*" I probably won't answer it. I'm not sure what it is I'm expected to say in response? Yeah, it fucking sucks. And I can say "report and block silently, do not engage" until I'm blue in the face, but that's not what those asks actually want. They want my rage, for me to be emotional about it. I'm not inclined to perform that for anyone here. I follow my own advice.

Which leads me to, the asks I'll post are from reporting links. If you see hate, and you want to ask me to help spread the word to report and block an account or ask for help in the best way to go about reporting something, please send it in and I will post it and/or give advice over it. And that is what you've seen me post here before. That is how it will stay

As for following me or not, you do you boo. I'm not here for the numbers or the followers. I didn't ask for anyone to be here actually 😅 the fact that the follower count ever made it anywhere over 20 is something I'm baffled at constantly. I've been on Tumblr for years solely as a lurker lmao so I still sometimes don't know how I ended up here... I blame Jikook. 🙃😂

And honestly though. Thank you for coming back and walking your first statement back and apologizing. Almost no one here has ever really done that before, so it's greatly appreciated.

Have a good day 💜

#messages to storm

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x--daughters-of-darkness--x · 10 months

Text

We’ve Got A File On You: Evanescence’s Amy Lee

I’m curious about the “Bring Me To Life” demo on this new anniversary edition of Fallen. Is this the exact version that you played for the label before they pushed for the rap part?

AMY LEE: Actually, no.

What’s the timeline on it? Where does it come from?

LEE: We did, like, at least nine demos of “Bring Me To Life.” Because they had decided this was the song that’s gonna be the first single, and we’re gonna put a whole bunch of focus on this breaking-in point. So, they just kept being like, “How about do the whole thing again, but add this?” And they were paying us. It was back in the day when people got artist development, which was actually really cool. So we kind of had to do what they said. [laughs] “OK! Whatever it takes!” We just did that demo a million times, and that one, as far as I can tell, is the last one or one of the last ones before the rap happened. They were already giving us notes at that point, but it didn’t go there. The Daredevil thing hadn’t come up, and we hadn’t had that whole new wave of, “OK, now let’s talk about this whole new idea.” So I felt like that was a good representation of us getting it all the way to another version that you’re not already pretty much hearing on the album.

You’ve been open about your fight with the label about adding a male co-vocalist, and how the guest spot that ended up on that song was the compromise. Is this version that we’re hearing now, this demo, kind of how you still think of the song in your head?

LEE: You know, actually, after all this time, playing the song a million times live, they’re never done growing. Especially when it’s a song like that. We’re always gonna play “Bring Me To Life” at a show. We want it to get better and better. We want it to be interesting. And also, you realize you have moments when the crowd does something. Make space for that. Let’s make extra space. We have a whole new part of it that’s a little bit longer, where we get everybody with their hands in the air. So when I think of the song, actually, I hear it the live way, because that’s the way I’ve heard it the most in my life. And the rap is in there, just, I do the rap, which is pretty fun. It’s not really a rap. It’s such a weird way to call it. Anyway.

A ton of people feel a very strong connection to Fallen. It’s also a snapshot of who you were at 21. Is that kind of strange, to have people feel so intimately connected to this very young version of you?

LEE: Yeah. You know, that was hard for a minute, because it was always really a stress of mine in the beginning to bring them along to the next thing. Because I love making music, and my personal quest as an artist is always about sharing more and more and more, and showing the whole picture of my heart and things that I’ve experienced, and drawing from real life. And there’s just so many colors to a human being, and to the things we experience. It would be impossible at any age to sum up your whole self in one song, or even in one album.

So that was actually my biggest reservation about the idea of having a guest vocalist on the first song, was that if this is our only chance – because that happens all the time, this is the thing that people are gonna hear and it’s all they ever hear of us, which is totally possible – I want our first thing to be the best possible representation. That’s why there’s so much pressure on a first entrance single. It’s like, I have to show you who I am as completely as possible, for a million reasons. One of them being, if you like it, you get the rest of the album and you’re not disappointed. Or if you hate it, it’s like, “Wait, that’s not fair! That’s not it! Please listen, I have more to say!” A lot of that fear was quelled very quickly, because “Going Under” did great, and of course “My Immortal” did great, and we have brought so many fans along. At this point, 20 years later, it’s insane. I am so grateful.

So yeah, that bothered me at first, and I’ve gone through a couple of little moments like that. But I don’t feel like that anymore. We have millions of amazing fans who love our latest album. And I feel really proud of everything that’s out there. And in context, I love Fallen. It’s not that I love it less…actually, I do! I love it less out of context. In context of the whole picture of us, and all of our growth, after all this time, I love it. But if that was our only thing that we had done, it would really bug me. So maybe that’s the reason I can’t stop coming back.

The Early Days Of Evanescence (1994-2000)

You started the band as a teenager. What was the music scene in Arkansas like in the mid-’90s? Did people know what to make of you guys?

LEE: It was different. We were different, even for that. I always saw that as a positive. The time period is part of that. [We were] super influenced by grunge and alternative. Heavier stuff, too. But what was the music scene like in Arkansas? It was what you would expect. Country was big. Hip-hop, pop, whatever was on the radio. Whatever you’re being fed by the top 40. So there’s that world, and then there was this total counterculture death metal scene. So, we obviously didn’t fit into either of those groups. But the death metal scene was a little bit closer. Those were the concerts I went to, in tiny, sweaty, back-of-the-pizza-restaurant clubs and stuff. I definitely learned to have an appreciation for this really heavy, rhythm-driven music, and cool riffs, and double bass pedals.

That’s not where I came from. That’s not my origins in music. I was really into classical. Dramatic classical, and then Soundgarden and Björk and cool, interesting alternative music. So when we did our thing, what was different about us was, first, that we weren’t a live band. It was just me and Ben [Moody]. Kids making music, in my parents’ garage and his parents’ garage and basement. Any basement or garage, or studio we could borrow after hours at my dad’s radio station, or anything like that. And we were recording artists. We were just finding what we could and making sounds. It was more like an electronic duo, and then pulling in band elements was always like, “Who will do a show with us?” And we’d gather up a drummer, and a bass player, and another guitar player, and promise them pizza and play a show. And we got signed [by the BMG-distributed Wind-Up Records] pretty quickly. We’d only played a few shows. It was like, “OK, we’ve got to put a band together, and make this real.” So we really grew up and became a band in front of the world.

It’s a very old-school, major label A&R story, I feel like. You get discovered, you get plucked, and you get brought out to LA. That kind of thing doesn’t really happen anymore in the way it did then. What was that moment like for the band, to kind of be thrown from playing the pizza place, to now, you’re in show business?

LEE: It was tumultuous. It was fighting. It was so much push and pull. It was gratitude, as well, but I felt from a pretty early point that I was constantly having to fight everyone around me to not sell out all of our vision.

So, we got signed, and it was awesome because we didn’t have to do a showcase. Everyone else wanted us to play a live show, and it was like, we’re not really like that. We still have to put this together. And this one label from New York was obsessed with it, and they’d had big success before, and we were like, “OK, we’re doing this.” Just a really rash decision at 19. And then instead of it being like what it sounds like when you say it, which is they flew us to LA, they put us in a cool place, and it’s cool and we’re making this album now. That is what we expected. We thought the album was done. But I have to be grateful now, because what we thought the album was is nowhere near as good as what Fallen ended up being, because they made us do crap that we didn’t want to do and write more music.

We had the freedom of not having to have jobs that would suck all of our energy. We could make our job impressing the label with something great. So, we just worked on writing new songs and demoing songs for a year and a half. And there were rocky moments in there, where we had to fight for our rights, and go home, and there were insults flying around everywhere when we didn’t do everything that they wanted. But all those fights were completely worth it, too. It was just the right combination of saying we’re gonna write more and do more, and also fighting back on the things that would’ve absolutely bastardized this whole thing and made us something that wouldn’t have existed this long.

Joining Korn For “Freak On A Leash” On MTV Unplugged (2006)

How well did you know Korn before they asked you to do that?

LEE: Oh, quite well. I loved Korn. Korn was one of the heavy bands that I loved, and I was so excited as a fan when they wanted to do something with me. We toured, I think, right after that. I think that was one of the last MTV Unpluggeds they did.

I think you’re right. I miss it!

LEE: I do too! It was beautiful. I made up my part the day before, I came in, we ran through it one time, and that’s it. I loved doing it, and then we went on tour together after that, which was cool. And then we did it again 15 years later.

Yeah, you stayed close.

LEE: Yeah. And then we finally did that song live! Because we never did it back in 2007 or whatever, when we first toured together. And this time, I was like, “Are you gonna have me up on that song, or what? Come on!”

The Cure were also a part of that show. Did you get to hang out with Robert Smith?

LEE: Yeah, we were all on the couch together, hanging out backstage. It was pretty amazing.

Singing “Sally’s Song” For Nightmare Revisited (2008)

I saw the Nightmare live show in LA a couple of years ago, and Billie Eilish sang that part.

LEE: Oh, amazing!

It’s cool how that song is kind of becoming a standard for alt-leaning pop singers.

LEE: Yeah! It’s funny you say the word “standard,” because there’s so few [new] Christmas standards. These songs that we’re always going to listen to, they’re all from the exact same era. And I do it too. But The Nightmare Before Christmas is one of those really rare things, where there are holiday songs on that – countercultural, of course – that are gonna live forever.

Yeah, and that belong to a younger generation. Was Nightmare big for you growing up?

LEE: Yes. It came out when I was 11 or 12, which was perfect. I mean, it was perfect. I think Edward Scissorhands was right before that, and I was obsessed with that. That’s one of my favorite scores. And then [Nightmare] came out, and I was really blown away, because I have a big love for stop-motion animation. My first record that I ever bought with my own money was the California Raisins. [laughs]

Wow!

LEE: I have always really loved what we used to call Claymation, but stop-motion animation stuff. And seeing my favorite director [Tim Burton] and my favorite score composer [Danny Elfman] do something that was that, I was a fan for life. Immediately obsessed with it.

How did you end up getting to do “Sally’s Song” for that record? Did you know Danny at that point?

LEE: No, but he was really nice to me. He invited me over to his house. It was a really surreal, cool experience. But [Disney] just asked me. I also did a random song that I don’t know a lot of people know from The Muppets [“Halfway Down The Stairs”] on their Muppets tribute album, but I think that was after that, because they were like, “Hey, that went well, let’s do another one.” But they asked me. I got the call, and I said, “Hell yeah! Please, can I do ‘Sally’s Song?'”

Nightmare – thanks in large part to Hot Topic, I think – is synonymous with a certain strain of alternative fashion. And for a while there, I think Evanescence was as well. I was in high school in the mid 2000s and there was definitely a lot of “the Amy Lee look” in the hallways. Did you ever see yourself as a style icon? Was that something you cared about?

LEE: I really have always been into fashion design. As a kid, it was hard for me to choose a definite career path, because I loved music. I felt like music was my passion, and I had to do music. But I also had a lot of passion about visual art and fashion design. And I have journals full of all of it. And making things, I’ve always made most of the art in our homes. I buy art, too, but I get an idea, and I’m like, “I want that on my wall. Here’s what needs to be here.”

I am so lucky, because what I’ve been able to do is combine all of those things into this job. I get to make my music, which is the center and the focus and the king. That’s the point, but then all around that, from production design ideas to album art ideas. I usually sketch them out before we do an album cover. I have a sketch of every one, where I had an idea, and I was like, “This is what we need to make. This is the title, this is the vibe, these are the colors.” And then with clothes, too, I’ve been making my stage wardrobe forever. Not all by myself, but I design it and I have somebody with a lot more patience than me do the math and help me take it all the way.

Her Children’s Album, Dream Too Much (2016)

Dream Too Much came out in 2016. Your son was born in 2014. I imagine there’s a correlation there.

LEE: Mm-hm, definitely! Making music isn’t always serious. You just sing your way through the day sometimes, and I realized that extra after having a baby, because you just end up filling the space with happy sounds. My husband and I both do it. You’re just singing through the activity, and then it’s like, “That’s kind of funny.” The song “Dream Too Much,” I was goofing around on the guitar, and Jack as, like, a two-year-old was saying those first couple of lines while he was playing. “There’s a monkey in the band!“ He was talking about Curious George, I think. And then, “The muffins are sleeping!“ I was like, “The muffins are sleeping? Awesome, we’re putting that in there.” [laughs]

It was fun to just have an opportunity to let things be goofy and fun, and when you have that subject there, you know exactly how to entertain them. There’s a person to focus on. It’s like, “I’m going to make this the thing that you love.” Including the stop-motion animation, and the instruments that are click-y. He used to love this Nesquik commercial with a STOMP vibe. Everything was pencils on glasses and chicka-chicka-choo-kah stuff. My producer and co-writer friend, Will Hunt – not Will Hunt the drummer [of Evanescence], very confusing – we did that album together, and he’s this super, like, science-y, fun, experimental music guy. We became friends over our love of Björk. He’s like, “Oh, this is great. I have all these weird tubular sticks and junk we can make sounds out of.” And it was just this really fun experience where I got to work with my whole family.

It sounds so naturalistic, or something. It doesn’t sound like the discipline of songwriting. You almost make it sound like you were just goofing around.

LEE: We were having so much fun! That’s what it always should be. I think that’s where good music comes from, is that you’re enjoying what you’re doing and that translates. But there are different paths and ways. It felt like we didn’t have to think so hard and make it complicated for an adult audience. It’s funny, because you make choices that are just natural, and you realize that maybe that’s not such a bad idea in general. There was definitely learning through that experience.

Metalocalypse: Army Of The Doomstar (2023)

I recognized your voice right away, even though you have like two lines.

LEE: I keep meaning to capture the clip and put it on social media somewhere! I want them to hear my voice screaming.

I was looking at your IMDb, and I was somewhat surprised that you haven’t done much voice acting or acting. Was that ever something you were interested in pursuing?

LEE: Always. I’m always asking for the right opportunities to do that stuff. I haven’t always had the best representation, and I think that maybe held me back in the past, when I would have really liked it. I just didn’t have the access that you’d think that I would. But I’m not in that situation now, so I’m always looking for something fun like that, whether it’s voice acting or making music of any kind for a film. It’s interesting the way the film industry and TV industry work. It’s so depressing how often things go so far and then get canned. There are so many things that get half-made and then dumped, and I’ve written music for a lot of those. [laughs] It’s not my fault! Or maybe it is. Maybe I should stay away.

Well, it’s odd, because movies have been woven into the Evanescence story. You mentioned the Daredevil thing, which ended up being so huge for you guys. Did you feel like you were interacting with Hollywood at that time, or did that feel like it was in a separate sphere?

LEE: There were moments. Hollywood doesn’t feel that separate from the music industry in LA. It’s all one big thing to me, in my mind. So going to those awards shows – or, we played the screening party for Daredevil, and all the actors and everybody were there – I definitely felt like we were intermingled in that world in a way that was very surreal. It’s weird. It’s like, “Whoa. Why are we here?”

That’s a great era, the early 2000s, for action movies randomly having a metal song over the end credits.

LEE: Right? [laughs] You’re welcome.

“Goofy Sings Evanescence’s Bring Me To Life” (2014)

I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t ask you about the Goofy version of “Bring Me To Life.” I’m told that you’ve heard it.

LEE: I’ve heard it. I’ve heard a lot of things over the years.

When you heard it, what was your reaction to it?

LEE: Not to insult the artist…

Bring it.

LEE: Honestly, I was like “What the fuck is this? This is stupid.” It’s funny. I don’t have a huge response. So many people sent me that. Even more people sent me this recent, the music note thing. There’s this toy that’s a music note, and it’s floating and singing the song. It’s not singing, it’s like [imitates warbling noise]. It’s so bad. My favorite one of those, I will tell you because it haunts me to this day. Somebody worked at Chuck E. Cheese or Showbiz Pizza, and you know the animatronic characters of the band?

Yeah.

LEE: So, after hours, when nobody was there, I don’t know if they work this way or if this person programmed the show. I don’t know if they’re sensitive to sound, so they move their mouths and move around, or if the person programmed it, but they made a light show, and it was dark, and they’re playing the instruments, and they did like three of our songs. In the right state of mind, that’ll give you nightmares. It was horrifying and awesome. And I salute you, sir or ma’am, whoever you are. [laughs]

You’ve got music that’s kind of been absorbed into the broader pop cultural consciousness, and I guess that’s why these things happen. There’s also the Ariana Grande thing on Fallon, where she’s doing a vocal impression of you. Is that kind of stuff surreal? How do you even process that?

LEE: It’s not surreal anymore. When we were starting out, it was. But at this point, living with it for this long, the music kind of just takes on its own life, and you start to see it as separate from yourself. It’s hard to explain. It started out very surreal and strange, and impostor syndrome is very real, but I feel like at this point, I’m where I’m meant to be. It’s amazing and I’m proud. I am ready to accept my fate as goth superstar Amy Lee of the fuckin’ dark-ass band Evanescence.

#amy lee #evanescence #2023 interviews

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edge-oftheworld · 7 months

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remembering how careful luke was with substances back when they first started out, it is actually heartbreaking that he did end up struggling with addiction. (I feel like we can often stereotype and box artists in, find excuses why they may end up using like it's their fault and if they happen to overdose and die then well, they should've not gotten into it in the first place. i can't shake that moment, in the 10yr podcast i think (don't quote me) he mentions he wasn't even into weed in 2015. just another 19yo aussie getting drunk and pretending to be tough like every other 19yo aussie, way more conservative and cautious in terms of substances than he probably would ever have admitted at the time.) how well he's always seemed to look after himself physically vs how much he'd given up on himself for so long. the fact he's always loved food and yet struggled with eating. actually I think diamonds should break our hearts. so should bloodline and heck, even baby blue. I think we should listen to starting line and be like hey, maybe we should treat our celebrities better. our artists. we all enjoy what they create, tear themselves apart so we don't feel alone in whatever we're experiencing and yet did we ever stop to think, how can we make this system work for everyone? how can we make fame be less deadly?

I think we should look at songs like motion and repeat when we're thinking of, hey, how should we approach this conversation about mental health? especially in the workplace with pressure to perform and take every opportunity lest we miss out on a big break and that's not only in creative industries. STEM can be like that too. and don't get me started on business/finance. we should look at the way we interact with each other--are we creating a space that's safe to feel and be honest with ourselves and each other and breathe enough to do that? or is it 'r u ok' and it's all about feelings and if you feel to numb to even know what you're feeling, then you're probably fine? we're hopefully beyond blaming parents for everything their children go through by now, but if ever we're not, we can listen to mum and see that you can have this beautiful relationship with your parents and still struggle, still blame yourself and be drowning in it and have the best morals around personal responsibility and still in a bad season be able to weaponise them against ourselves sometimes and only see our mistakes. still put on a farce for the world. still fear that people will leave whenever we take that off. are we creating a world where we're free to be ourselves, and I mean all of us? slip away and place in me should break our hearts even more when listened to in context.

and maybe these insights seem obvious to you but how are we really going at living as if this is what we need to be doing as humans? do we really live like we believe none of us are that invincible but at the same time are so, so capable and should be given the chances and accommodations every person, no matter their unique needs, need to really fulfil that (of course without being blamed for their perceived failures)? or are we still being ableist? are we still deciding we have a bar of perceived success for people we see to be 'like us' and feel like everyone else is somehow doomed and unable to succeed and so we don't need to worry about caring for them too? they either have to pretend to live up to our standards or slip into oblivion and shame? don't you see how this, something we often don't realise we're perpetuating, simply causes even more harm?

and maybe this is a lot to be dragging out from one (expertly done) album. or maybe we have someone who's told their story and we'd be foolish not to listen to it, not to think twice about the connotations of what we're seeing. maybe part of beholding this masterpiece is to use a bit of that same overthinking that went into creating it and do something productive with it. because luke's okay. things did get better for him, and he's coping, just like the rest of us. but what about the next young artist who is thrust into stardom from oblivion, who, clinging to music as a lifeline in a chaotic, unpredictable and lonely world, basks in it and chases it so hard without a thought to its dangers. what if they don't have a loving home away from the chaos to return to, and a close knit, unshakeable group of friends going through it with them? I don't get how you can listen to wfttwtaf and not think of this. also, luke didn't need to share any of these things with us. but I bet, in a world of facades and roles to play that others create for us, simplistic and superficial and suffocating, it's a relief to simply be honest. maybe it's just me. maybe he shared it just to get some money from his art, or to help others feel less alone. but either way he did share it. and he did give incredibly vulnerable descriptions of each song (to apple music i believe it was) which he didn't have to do either. but he did and so let's heed the protest intrinsic in it and cultivate that sense of empathy, be respectful and encouraging to him and the band, yes, but also think. if we have a case study on how to protect and better care for young artists and creatives, are we just going to let it entertain us and then do nothing about what we hear? wfttwtaf is a protest album. it might not mean to be. it might be the saddest and least angry one we've heard. it might be pure in that it pulls at our heartstrings and demands nothing from us. so let your impact be that pure and free of demands too and just. be kind. not only to the people you see in person, but everyone who might be impacted by your individual and collective actions--not only kind but smart about what is actually helpful, actually encouraging. it's pretty simple isn't it? or is it just the wild ideas of my intuition?

#tldr wfttwtaf is very pop punk #not in its sound obvs #but like. healing. storytelling that prompts thought. that kind of protest #luke hemmings #wfttwtaf #5sos #5 seconds of summer #celebrities are people #tw ed #tw drugs #vague references of being suicidal kinda #workplace mental health #idk this post goes all over the place #neurodivergent liberation

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boonesfarmsangria · 5 months

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Basement alchemy: Yannis & The Yaw sees Foals' Yannis Philippakis and Afrobeat legend Tony Allen forge a treasure with 'Walk Through Fire'

The lead track from YANNIS PHILIPPAKIS’ posthumous collaboration with Afrobeat drumming legend TONY ALLEN captures the electrifying spark that ignited during their global musical meeting, weaving a tapestry of sound that reflects the cultural touchstones of Lagos, Paris, and London. Read our latest Dork Mixtape cover feature now.

Words: Martyn Young.

Photos: Kit Monteith, Rishi Salujah.

“It’s about serendipity and coming together with someone.” There’s always something amazing when you get to meet your heroes, but for Foals frontman Yannis Philippakis, the opportunity to not only meet but work with legendary Afrobeat pioneering drummer Tony Allen was a truly special experience. Tragically, Tony passed away during the pandemic, leaving the work that they started in flux, but seven years after they first met, Yannis has now put together a beautiful EP documenting their time and the music they made together as a special project under the name Yannis And The Yaw. ‘Lagos Paris London’ is a reflection of a moment in time and two generations meeting and creating a little bit of magic.

With Foals riding high on the wild success of their fourth album ‘What Went Down’, a call offering an intriguing opportunity came following two years of hard touring. “I got a call when we were deep in a Foals tour. We were touring ‘What Went Down’ so it was quite a few years ago now. I got a call from a mutual friend who said, do you want to go and write with Tony Allen in Paris?” says Yannis.

The mention of Tony Allen’s name immediately conjured excitement as he remembered the pivotal role Tony and his work as drummer for Fela Kuti, as well as his long and winding career, played in the genesis and evolution of Foals. “A lot of our formative musical years were spent listening to Fela Kuti,” he explains. “Especially this one compilation of Tony Allen’s that I think is just called ‘The Best Of’. It’s a quadruple vinyl. We used to hammer it when we were writing ‘Antidotes’ and ‘Total Life Forever’. I was a huge fan.”

He was immediately hooked on the unique skill of his drumming. “Another song that we loved that he played on was ‘La Ritournelle’ by Sebastian Tellier; that was a song we all obsessed over. His drumming is a huge part of why that song is great.”

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While the opportunity sounded exciting, a “no brainer”, as Yannis explains it, the reality of actually making it work became more of an issue. “I got home, and I hadn’t been home for a couple of months, and I collapsed into a puddle the moment the keys were thrown on the table. I was like, fuck, I don’t know if I’ve got the energy to get up and get to Paris the next day,” says Yannis as he describes his exhaustion after a punishing Foals tour. “I almost put it off, but my friend at the time encouraged me and said, look, you’ve got to go there for two days. It might be the experience of a lifetime, then you can come home and rest.”

For the experience of a lifetime, Yannis recounts the details in a refreshingly simple and down-to-earth style. “So, I trotted off with my guitar to the Eurostar and I got there in the morning,” he begins. “It was a basement studio. Very French and very 70s. Full of cigarette smoke and bad carpet and mirrors in weird places. It was basically Tony’s home, in a way. His drums were permanently set up in the live room.”

For the music icon that is Tony Allen, he had seen and experienced everything there is to experience and had worked with a who’s who of musical legends, “What was funny about the first encounter was he wasn’t particularly phased or that excited that I was there. He was just in his own vibe,” laughs Yannis. “I don’t think he knew of my work. It was set up, and he was in a place where he was very open to collaborating with people. He was doing some stuff with Jeff Mills. Tony, in general, collaborated a lot. He approached it like a jazz drummer. The producers and the other musicians that were around Tony knew me; they helped me set up and were very welcoming.”

Was there a sense of trepidation, though, and having to prove yourself and prove your musical chops? “It wasn’t that Tony wasn’t welcoming, but he was waiting to see what it was going to be like. Who’s this little punk?” he laughs.

Almost instantly, though, the musical alchemy bubbled up, and from their first jam together came the project’s first track with the heavy groove of ‘Walk Through Fire’. “It’s a simple song,” he explains. “It largely revolves around this one riff. We played it round a couple of times, and some of these other French guys in the studio who knew Tony played along and were either helping out on bass or percussion. We kinda had it there. The moment that that had happened we were getting on like a house on fire after that. The room changed.”

As they played more and more, Yannis discovered at close quarters what he loved about Tony’s artistry and even discovered new things. “I was surprised at how quietly he played,” he says with deep reverence. “Coming from proper big arena rock shows on this Foals tour and playing songs like ‘What Went Down’ and ‘Snakeoil’ was a total pivot into this much more deft style of playing. Just being in a room with him and hearing him in the moment playing his drums that I had become so familiar with, the texture and the rhythm of the way he played and that being on something that I was writing live on the spot and that we were inhabiting the same moment of creativity together in a room was just electrifying.”

‘Walk Through Fire’ was the spark that ignited the whole project. “It was the first thing. It’s immediate in the same way that it was immediate in the room on that day,” enthuses Yannis. “The lyrics are pretty resonant with the time we’re living in. Tony encouraged this in me. He wanted the lyrics to be engaged with the social fabric. A lot of Tony’s music, and the lineage of Fela Kuti and Afrobeat, is often very political with protest songs. In discussing with Tony about the lyrics, he wanted it to mine the social discord. It resonates today. It’s got this fresh energy. It feels like a more garagey or bluesy song. It’s quite rough and freeing and fun. It was a good entry point to the project but also makes sense chronologically.”

The jamming session in Paris was intended to lead to work beginning on a full album, but events got in the way firstly with scheduling issues and then Covid before Tony’s sad passing, which ultimately gave Yannis the impetus to turn those special moments into something real and tangible. “Covid really scuppered us because he was based in Paris. It was impossible for so long,” he explains. “As is the way with collaborations, once you’ve captured the lighting in the bottle, sometimes you don’t complete it when you should. You know that it’s there, so you get slightly complacent about it. I had a lot of stuff with Foals and he was busy as well doing The Good, The Bad and The Queen. He was really busy, and between us we couldn’t get together. Sadly and tragically, he passed away during Covid. It strangely was a massive motivation to try to finish it. Largely out of guilt that we hadn’t done it while he was alive and realising that it had been such a special experience in my life creatively, but just as a person, it was such a unique moment for us to have not completed it and played shows together. Out of bittersweet guilt, I really wanted to finish it. We needed to put them out to do it justice.”

The EP is a beautiful tribute to the enduring legacy of Tony Allen and the creative spirit he represents. “His music will live on forever,” says Yannis passionately. “The drums will play on. He had such an incredible and unique style of playing. He was the originator. He was the source. There’s an untappable well that will continue to inspire people for generations.”

The record is also an example of his dexterity as a musician and willingness to still try new things. “This release is an interesting perspective on Tony’s writing,” says Yannis. “It’s definitely a different project than Tony’s worked on before. It’s the heaviest stuff he was involved in. For me, it’s obviously the most inspired by jazz and Afrobeat. For people coming to the EP, it’s an interesting prism that we were both put in and thrust together to write this.”

Even more remarkable is that it almost never happened. “Had I not gone to Paris that day and further along, had we not kept it up and had we not finished it, through these chance meetings and happenings, you can end up with something that’s precious and is permanent,” he continues. “When so much of life is impermanent, that’s a really important lesson that I learned. I feel protective over the record. It’s a treasure and a document of two people who came together. He was in his seventies when I met him, and I was in my twenties. There’s something amazing about two people from different cultures and backgrounds and generations being thrust together unknowingly without knowing each other and through music very quickly bonding and forming and creating something that will last.”

This collaborative project comes at a time when Foals are able to take a pause and reflect on a triumphant couple of years following their euphoric 2022 album ‘Life Is Yours’ which cemented them firmly at the top of the UK band pantheon after almost two decades of innovation. “We’ve been smashing it for so many years; it’s been such a constant focus of our lives,” says Yannis, explaining the band’s desire to take stock. “It has been incredible to devote yourself to something so absorbing, but I think every now and then you just have to come up for air and remind yourself what life looks like above the parapet. For self-preservation and the preservation of the band, it’s important to occasionally stop and assess what exactly we want to do next rather than just automatically make another record without consideration. This time, we want to think about what we’re going to do next, and I think that’s natural after having put out quite a few records; it’s important for us to decide what we want to do.”

In the meantime, Yannis And The Yaw offers the opportunity to have some fun and do something a little different. Certainly not a solo project, but just a different kind of creative expression. “I’ve left it open-ended,” he says excitedly. “The idea behind the Yaw part is that it could be a rotating collaborative project. The title, ‘Lagos Paris London’, is the cultural touchstones for the EP, and it’s a musical postcard from these locations. If there was to be another project with the Yaw again, it would be three different locations and a different cultural mix. It’s not meant to be a solo expression. This EP is an archive of time recording with Tony and French musicians Vincent Taeger and Vincent Tuarelle, who were really important and produced it. I would imagine they might be part of the Yaw. It’s important to make the distinction. If I were to do a solo record, it would sound a lot different. This is led by Tony and the group of his musicians in France. If I was to do another one, it would sound quite different. There are no plans for that right now. I want to leave it open-ended and let this EP have its time in the sun, and let’s see what happens later on.”

With the EP arriving at the end of the summer, there’s a tantalising opportunity for perhaps some gigs as Yannis looks to continue to honour the legacy of one of his all-time heroes. “I think we will,” he smiles when asked if he’s planning to bring these songs to life on stage. “Not an extensive tour, but a couple of shows to give the record a good release and a good send-off and honour Tony.”

#yannis philippakis #y&ty #interview #actual reading #yannis & the yaw

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nso-csi · 1 year

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230814 Clash Magazine twitter update 'In Conversation With SHINee'

In the early days of prepping for this record, what was the group’s mentality like? Was there something very specific you each wanted from this process? TAEMIN: I think I wanted to show that SHINee is still as strong as ever. To be honest, during our promotions, I couldn’t really pinpoint our exact goal but now I feel like I can organise my thoughts and reflect on what my feelings were at that time: I still want to receive a lot of love when we’re on stage, continue to cherish what we’ve achieved, and maintain our strong bond with our fans.

So there’s still that feeling of pressure, even if it’s lesser these days, when you gear up to a release? TAEMIN: The album release was delayed from the original schedule, and we wish we’d had more time to prepare because time was really limited. Despite that, we were able to wrap up this promotion well. I tend to be hard on myself, but this time, I think I felt like I wanted to appreciate the moment.

SHINee have talked at various points over the years about their identity – as a group and individuals – and you explore this on Hard’s B-side ‘Identity’ with lyrics like “I want to find the original me” and “a destination to find in chaos”. Have there been times where the members experienced losing their way? TAEMIN: I’ve always tried to view myself objectively, and sometimes it felt like a trap in an endless cave. Fortunately, I’ve had really wonderful people around me, who were my greatest source of strength. I’m not sure if I can be someone who can say uplifting words to others but when I feel overwhelmed, I take walks which clear my mind and this has helped me.

As humans we’re constantly evolving; how have the members’ identities shifted since the release of ‘Don’t Call Me’ (2021), and how is this change reflected on ‘Hard’? TAEMIN: I decided to give myself a break and not to be so hard on myself. I wanted to focus more on the feelings of happiness and the positive energy that people give me from recognizing my work instead of contemplating what I’m lacking and overanalyzing my shortcomings. And because I was able to take a different approach and attitude toward this album, I was able to enjoy this promotion and feel more comfortable.

After 15 years, what – if anything – still makes you nervous as an artist? TAEMIN: The constant anticipation and expectations motivate me and heighten my expectations but, on the other hand, they can also be stressful. But this process is a significant part of my life, and the challenges make the sense of accomplishment I feel even greater.

Upcoming film aside, if there was one moment in your SHINee careers that you could revisit in-person – just because it was so amazing you’d like to experience it again – what would it be? TAEMIN: The moments I want to relive are not only from our [stage] careers but I really do want to relive those small moments when the five of us would have meals, talk, and fall asleep together.

The older we get, the faster time seems to move: Is there a new or different sense of urgency around your ambitions? And how does this compare to the early days of SHINee when, perhaps, you felt like there was also so much to accomplish? TAEMIN: I’ve achieved many of the things I’d aimed for and also experienced moments of wanting to give up. Going through numerous experiences and internal turmoil, I can see myself ageing, but the memories and records of us when we were young are vividly alive and preserved. So, personally, rather than a sense of urgency and ambition, I always want to do my best in the present and in this era.

The words ‘icons’ and ‘legends’ get thrown around too easily these days but SHINee really are both. Does it seem real for you, especially as you’re still an active, progressive group? Do you ever consider the band’s legacy and what you’d like that, ultimately, to be? TAEMIN: One of my juniors once said to me, ‘I feel like idols’ careers are extending because you continue to be active. Thank you.’ Hearing those words made me feel proud because it seems like we’re pioneering something, and when I see friends who consider me as their role model, it also helps me release all the built-up stress inside of me. Because of that, I feel a sense of motivation, I want to work even harder to inspire people, and I hope SHINee will be remembered as a group that continues to shine and remains in people’s hearts for generations to come.

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tomorrowxtogether · 1 year

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Mini Moments: Backstage With TOMORROW X TOGETHER

The boys of TXT take us backstage as they prepare to perform for their fans, MOA (meaning “Moments of Alwaysness”)

In the next installation of our MINI MOMENTS series, where the world’s biggest stars give us an exclusive, behind-the-scenes glimpse at their career milestones, MINI V caught up with none other than the boys of TOMORROW X TOGETHER, as YEONJUN, SOOBIN, BEOMGYU, TAEHYUN, AND HUENINGKAI chatted about the world of Neverland, their collaboration with Coi Leray, and their recent tour.

MINI V: After listening to The Name Chapter: Temptation, I realized the EP’s concept seems to revolve around the theme of “Neverland.” How would you define Neverland?

SOOBIN: In theory, Neverland can be a sort of paradise for children, where kids are free from worry and responsibility. But our take on Neverland within our EP takes a different perspective. It says that Neverland stunts your growth and prevents you from following your dreams.

TAEHYUN: Neverland, for us, represents moments of temptation. We’ve all experienced, at one point, the feeling of wanting to prolong our childhood. Growing up comes with great things but also pains, and sometimes we don’t want to worry about all that in the moment. But what we all understand is that we keep going because there is so much more to experience down the road and we’ve still got a long way to go. We’re very eager to live and experience our youth to its full potential.

MV: How does this EP reflect and take inspiration from your own personal lives and individual journeys, especially after being in this industry for a few years?

BEOMGYU: Our music is one continued narrative of growth. We’ve depicted different stages of our youth through each song and album—we’ve discussed friendships, love, and heartbreak, which are all common experiences of our generation. Right now, we’re at the cusp of adulthood, or a much bigger world. We wanted to be genuine about this point in our lives because we know there are many youths who feel something similar and are stepping out into the world.

MV: What inspired you guys to work with Coi Leray on the track “Happy Fools (feat. Coi Leray)”? Can we expect to see some performances with Coi?

YEONJUN: Coi is truly special. We love the bright energy that her voice brings to the track. “Happy Fools (feat. Coi Leray)” is a very special song for me, and I’m very thankful that it came together as it did. I wouldn’t change a thing about it.

HUENING KAI: “Happy Fools (feat. Coi Leray)” is the perfect combination of Coi’s rap lines, YEONJUN’s melody, and all our lyrics. We’d love to have Coi hop on stage with us. Let’s see.

MV: How are you feeling in these moments just before kicking off your second world tour?

H: It’s been a few months [since we last toured] and we know how long our fans have been waiting. We can confidently say that we carry just as much, if not more, excitement. We can’t wait to jump on stage and per- form for our fans all over the world. This second tour is a lot bigger than our first, so I’m glad we can meet up with even more of our lovely MOA.

MV: What can we expect from this tour, especially when it comes to the choreography, stage visuals, or setlist?

Y: Our newest setlist of course includes tracks from our newest EP. The Name Chapter: Temptation has been met with so much love, and I’m really glad we can finally bring the tracks on tour. The EP also definitely carries the group’s unique musical color, and the choreography and stage visuals also strongly reflect our identity.

T: I also want to say the fans can expect the best because that’s what we hope to give them. We want our MOA to have an incredible time and enjoy our music with us. Being on stage is our favorite part [of the process], and I’m very happy we can share such a special thing with so many of our fans.

MV: What advice would you offer MOA, or even youth in general, about how to conquer the challenges of transitioning to adulthood?

S: There’s no one set path and sometimes you may feel like you’re circling around the same place without prevailing. But every step has a piece of thought or effort that counts. It may feel obscure, but you’re already getting there.

B: Also, it may help to know that there are others who feel the same way you do. If you think about the fact that we can all relate to and empathize with one another, maybe it will all feel easier.

#txt #tomorrow x together #230517 #article #mini magazine #soobin #yeonjun #beomgyu #taehyun #hueningkai #mini v

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luxnebula · 11 months

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It's funny how something can become a really big part of your life in a relatively short amount of time. I heard about the band Voyager in May, when I listened to their song Promise a few days before Eurovision semifinals. It was love at first listen and I'm not exaggerating when I say that. There's so many aspects of that song that really appeal to me, from the synths and the guitars (not to mention that it has a guitar solo AND a synth solo both!), the downright tenderness and sentimentality in the lyrics and the repeated phrase "promise me it's gonna be alright" really struck a chord with me. The phrase especially resonated with me the same way Måns Zelmerlöw's Heroes did, with the line "we're dancing with the demons in our minds".

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After Eurovision ended (with Voyager placing ninth! (although they deserved at least top 3 in my opinion)), I went to listen to Voyager's previous discography. And let me tell you, I was mindblown. JRR Tolkien said that when he discovered the Finnish language, he felt like he had discovered a hidden wine cellar full of good wine. Before May, I didn't really understand that metaphor, but when I dove into Voyager's discography, I finally understood what he meant. With 20 years of Voyager to listen to, I had found my hidden wine cellar.

I started with Colours in the Sun, which was their latest album at the time (they've since released Fearless in Love in July 2023, but I'll get to it in a bit) and I was hooked from the first song. Colours opens the album with high energy, bright, fresh and breezy sound that blew me away. I'm really picky about what kind of heavy metal I listen to, but Voyager combines heavy metal guitars and growling with Daniel's clear vocals, bright synths and sweeping prog metal melodies that sweep you away in, hm, voyages, if you will. I have mild synesthesia, that mostly manifests in seeing music as shapes and colours, and Voyager's music makes me see more colours and more vivid colours than I've ever experienced before. I was in love and by June, I started calling Voyager my new favourite band.

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It also helped that the band members seem to be incredibly funny, charming and chill. I also didn't get K-pop fans getting so invested in their bands, but with Voyager, I think I understand it a little. While I wouldn't go as far as to call myself a "stan" or a "simp" and while I keep reminding myself of parasocial relationships, I couldn't help but grow even fonder of Voyager because of their funny social media presence like playing kazoo while singing Käärijä's Cha Cha Cha, joking around in interviews and this bit in Eurovision:

They did that in front of all of Europe!

Usually when I listen to a band's discography, I start with their first album and work my way to the latest album chronologically. But with Voyager, I did it in reverse for reasons I still can't name. But I'm happy that I did, because that was the best way to get to know their sound, even if I lost the experience of hearing their sound evolve over the years. This got me listening to Colours in the Sun and Ghost Mile first, which are easily one of their best albums.

Ghost Mile is, in comparison to Colours in the Sun, much heavier and less synth-y, but it's still very atmospheric and bright. A lot of heavy metal has a tendency to be all doom and gloom and very dark, but Voyager breaks the mold with contrasting the guitars with shining synths and Daniel Estrin's clear vocals.

My browser is starting to lag because of how long this post is. Oops. I'll have to gush about Fearless in Love some another time lol!

#original #in english #music #voyager #Youtube #voyagerau

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lhrry · 2 years

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Hey Agnes, hope you are having a good faith in the future day. I just wanted to share some thoughts about the album with you :) So, (tw: death) I lost my mum less than a year ago and I see myself a lot in louis and I get strength from him, seeing how even after all the tragedies in his life he is still here, being a wonderful person and living his dream. And im so so proud of him for that and he gives me hope.

After saying this, i just wanted to say that in his writing I can feel his grief in a way that maybe people who havent experienced such loses cannot. Of course not in every single song but there are some that might seem about the loss of a romantic relationship but when/if you dig deeper you can feel that loss and grief that i was talking about. Just having listened to the album 1 time I got this feeling with "holding onto heartache", "angels fly", "saturdays", "all this time" and "thats the way love goes".

But besides this, I can also see the hope in the future and the positivism even with all that pain and that is something really beautiful and healing in a way.

Sorry i dont know if im making much sense but i hope you got what i meant. Have a good day! :)

Hi, honey, I'm so sorry for your loss and I am so glad Louis has been helping you through it. It's not the same but I have always looked to Louis for that as well, I have previously said that my best friend died of cancer just a week before Two of Us, and recently my grandma passed and I've been returning to it a lot.

I think a lot of the songs on FITF are about grieving and loss and letting go of it, and letting of the loss and pain of the past and looking forward, and that grief relates to death as well as to the passage of time, mourning what one lost in terms of opportunities and hopes for the future, in terms of who one could have been and never was, in terms of wasted time (I think so many people have been feeling this especially after the pandemic), in terms of own past selves and potential selves as well as other people. But the thing is that the album comes to terms with it and is able to work through it, accept it as it accepts change and gradually it is able to find the new faith in the future and the options and possibilities!!

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infinitestagearchive · 10 months

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during this final episode of BEYOND INFINITE, all will be revealed as the contestants battle it out and put on their best performance to earn their place in the debuting group. tune in and watch as the final ten contestants give it their all for one last time.

for one final time, the viewer is greeted on the main stage of BEYOND INFINITE, though this time it is the final ten contestants that welcome them to the episode. the ten girls have never looked more comfortable on stage as they proudly greet the viewers and wave at the camera. it is only then that MCs Sohee and Jackson enter the stage, dressed in matching dark blue outfits as they too welcome the viewers to this finale. they introduce the judges one last time, with ex-idol Sang Minji, CEO Sun Jihoon, and creative director Jenny Lee being joined on the judging panel by producer Connor Seong, who will produce the debuting group’s first album with them.

MC Sohee informs the viewers that, for their final performances, the contestants were all tasked with putting together a solo performance that will prove once and for all that they deserve their place in the debuting group, as well as a ten-member group performance of the debut single. she also reveals that the final line-up will include eight contestants – a final line-up that will be revealed by the end of the episode.

during the week of preparation, the contestants worked on their performance of the debut track under the guidance of producer Connor Seong, who wrote and composed the track for them. he met each contestant and spent some time with them in the studio, with both Haneul and Sooyoung notably connecting well with the producer. Connor explains to the viewers that he appreciates when artists want to have input into a track, and that he really enjoyed the vision that both of them had for the track.

notably, Minsun appears to be on her best behavior, being seen laughing and playing with the other contestants, and generally appearing to be in a much better mood. to the camera, she says that for the past weeks she’s felt really scared and tense, which is why she’s been acting out a lot. now that she’s gotten to know the other contestants better she feels much more comfortable and at ease, and this is evident from the way she appears during the episode. however, some viewers online commented that this behavior seemed disingenuous, with some even claiming that she was putting on an act in order to receive more views.

as the contestants train together for a final time, their usual joy in the training room is clearly dampened by the pressure they’re experiencing. after one particularly hard day, Haruka especially appears resigned to the idea of losing. she spends some time alone in the studio but is soon joined by Sojin. during the episode it becomes clear that Sojin and Haruka are closer friends than many viewers originally thought, with Sojin comforting Haruka and demanding that she not give up.

Jiwoo and Chaewon are filmed several nights staying behind in the studio after the other contestants have left. during one of the evenings they’re joined by Jimin, and it appears that this has been a regular thing for the three contestants over the duration of the show.

the screen returns to the main stage, where MC Jackson says that he has the honor to reveal both the concept and the name of the debuting group. he tells the audience that the group will have a ‘sci-fi’ concept, and that they will be called SPEXTR. the announcement is met with cheers from the audience, as the group logo shows up on the monitor behind Jackson.

the time comes for the contestants’ solo performances. Sooyoung is the first to perform, singing a cover of ‘Set Me Free’ by soloist Hero. she is clearly much more comfortable on stage compared to previous episodes, and while some people might criticize her for not going as all-out as she could, the performance is positively received.

next, Jimin takes the stage with a ballad version of ‘Egotistic’ by SUGAR. while this is an expected move on Jimin’s part, viewers clearly enjoyed this stripped-down version of the song. Jimin’s vocals are clear as ever during the performance, and from the reactions of the audience alone it is evident that she is one of the fan-favorites on the show.

the third contestant to perform their solo is Yoonah. deciding on a different tone from Jimin and Sooyoung, she decides to perform a cover of ‘HMU’ by BOYFRIENDZ. however, as she performs it is clear that this song is outside of her own comfort zone, and this carries over into her giving a disappointing performance that judge Jenny Lee calls not worthy of being a finale performance.

Haneul, perhaps showing just how connected she and Sooyoung are, also decides to sing a song by Hero, choosing to cover ‘God Damn’ from the same album. while she is not much of a dancer, Haneul’s stage performance is undeniable, and her performance provides some much needed relief for the audience and viewers at home alike, following the less-than-exciting performance from Yoonah.

Jiwoo puts on a performance of ‘Juice’ by Butterflyeffect’s Bambi, and while her vocals shine a bit less when she is not surrounded by the other contestants, joy radiates off of Jiwoo as she stands on stage. throughout the entire performance she smiles and shines, not faltering once and delivering a quality performance.

her performance is followed by Sojin, who, like Yoonah, decides to go for a more up-beat song. she performs ‘Heart Attack’ by SUGAR, and to the surprise of seemingly everyone delivers a near flawless performance in which she both sings and dances like she’s never quite done before. Sojin shows that she clearly has a lot more talent up her sleeve, and the audience is vocal about just how much they loved her performance.

Minsun, who has to follow Sojin’s performance, is clearly a bit shaken by the performance of the other contestant, and looks quite nervous as she walks out on stage. Minsun performs her version of ‘BBY’ by BOYFRIENDZ, and her performance is far better received by the audience than Yoonah’s. while she still looks a little put-off at times during the performance, her vocals remain stable and the performance is an overall success.

when Emiyo steps on stage she looks as confident as she always has, but as she begins performing her cover of ‘You And I’ by soloist Mew, her voice falters. she appears deeply insecure on stage as she attempts to power through the song, but ultimately leaves the audience wanting for a stronger performance.

thankfully, they find that strength in the next solo. Haruka is the second-to-last solo performance of the episode, and while her dancing is always impeccable, her cover of ‘Shout Out’ by S-DIVISION proves that her vocals have also improved over time. she is a joy to see on the stage, and her enthusiastic attitude is infectious to both the audience and the judges, who give her a lengthy applause following the end of her performance.

closing out the individual performances is Chaewon, who seems excited more than anything to perform on stage. though her performance includes minimal dancing, not quite showing off the dance skills some viewers might have grown to love her for, she gives a powerful rendition of ‘Rewind’ by SUGAR that impresses the judges, who comment that they had underestimated Chaewon in previous episodes.

after a brief commercial break, it is time for the contestants’ final chance of earning votes; the debut song performance. all ten contestants gather on the stage in shining futuristic outfits, with their expressions varying from completely ecstatic – such as Jiwoo and Haruka – and simply mortified – as is the case for Emiyo and Minsun. in the past week, the contestants have not only prepared for their solo performances, but also to trained together as a ten-member group. in a quick look back, we see Sooyoung say that it’s been strange to train together, despite knowing that two of them will not make it to the final group, and that she would prefer to debut just like this, as a ten-member group.

the contestants take their starting positions, and the music starts. the contestants perform SPEXTRs debut track, ‘The Strange World’. Haneul and Jimin have taken the center position for the performance, with Minsun and Yoonah finding themselves at either ends of the lineup on stage. the contestants give a strong performance, clearly well in tune with each other as they move around the stage. Sooyoung and Haneul even find time to have a few cute interactions on stage, and Sojin and Jimin stand out as the shining performers. it is also evident that Emiyo has not entirely recovered from her mishap, still seeming quite shaken and not like her heart is truly in it.

the end of the performance is met with thunderous applause from the audience, as the contestants step to the back of the stage and Jackson and Sohee walk on. they announce that this is viewers’ last chance to vote for their favorite contestants, and a rerun of all performances is shown at the last minute before voting closes.

the judges address the contestants one last time, praising them for making it ths far and for the amazing performances they have given. Connor Seong once again reiterates that it was a pleasure working with all of them, and that he hopes that no matter what, they will not stop making music.

the time comes for the final ranking to be revealed, and in order the MC’s reveal the eighth to first place ranking. the first contestant to make it into the debut group is Minsun, who appears shocked into silence on camera. the seventh member to be announced is Chaewon, who almost immediately bursts into tears. next is Haneul, the official sixth member, who can do nothing but squeeze her best friend Sooyoung closer. the fifth member to be announced is Haruka, who tearfully embraces the first person next to her, Sojin, with a wide smile. the fourth member’s name to be called is Sooyoung, who is pulled into a tight hug by Haneul before she can seemingly even realize her name has been said. Jimin’s name is the next to be called, and she gives an appreciative bow to the camera, trying to conceal the tears that well up in her.

the tension is palpable as the final two members are to be announced. Yoonah, Jiwoo, Emiyo, and Sojin huddle together on the stage, all holding each other’s hands as the MCs continue to speak. Sohee announces that the second-ranked member of the group is Sojin, who gasps in shock before turning back and being embraced by Haruka and Sooyoung. the three remaining contestants all seem nervous in their own way, with Emiyo shaking her leg, Yoonah closing her eyes, and Jiwoo taking deep breaths as Jackson announces the last name. as Jiwoo’s name is said, the audience erupts into cheers, and Jiwoo is embraced by all of her members, leaving Emiyo and Yoonah behind.

FINAL LINEUP

the two girls get a chance to give a final thanks to the audience, the judges, and everyone who supported them, before the attention returns to the eight members of SPEXTR. they are congratulated by the judges before they themselves turn their attention to the camera and thank the audience.

as the episode closes out, Sohee reminds the audience to keep an eye on the debuting girl group, and to make sure to follow SPEXTR on all social media. Jackson announces that their pre-debut single ‘The Strange World’ will be available on streaming soon, before thanking the viewers at home one final time and ending the episode.

#fictional idol community #*ise: worldbuilding #*beyond infinite #*group: spextr #hey mara this is over a week later than the date you wanted to post it on.#well yes. but its also huge #anyway yeah pls follow the spextr blog!! drama coming soon bc im me

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