#a little under 4 hours...i was late this week lol

[thegeminisage]

hi everyone here is an archive of last week's skyward sword stream! this week's stream begins HERE in 4 hours!!

[glossdebut]

Take a Bite Ch. 3

✧ PAIRING: yoongi x fem!reader

✧ SUMMARY: Your fledgling career as a music journalist is finally going in some kind of direction that must be on the path to success. Your coworkers like you enough to invite you out on Fridays, your boss is starting to think you’re competent enough to let you score a few bylines, and you're finally getting the hang of InDesign. All of your hard work, late nights, and complete lack of a social life are starting to pay off... Even if it all came at the expense of the longest relationship of your life. Fine. You've accepted the fact that romance isn't for you, under any circumstances. You won't risk your career for anybody. Not even Min Yoongi.

✧ TAGS: slow burn, eventual smut, eventual romance, producer yoongi, music journalist reader, neighbors to friends to lovers? you'll see, reader is bad at feelings, reader is post-break up

✧ WARNINGS: yoongi being RICH. also... remember that eventual smut? well it's kind of here! if you wanna skip, stop reading at [Maybe you should fix that.] and then continue at [After another moment, you roll over onto your stomach...]

✧ WORDCOUNT: 3.5k

✧ STATUS: ongoing

✧ AUTHOR'S NOTE: hi i normally post on wednesdays but we're about to get a HURRICANE where i'm at so i'm posting early lmfao. rating goes up in this chapter whoops! not sure when chapter 4 will be posted but i'll keep you guys updated. thank you all so much for the engagement i've been receiving on this fic!!! it's my first one ever and i never expected to get so many readers so quickly <3 you guys are keeping me writing so please feel free to send me feedback if you like this chapter. i'd love to read it if i have power over the next few days LOL

Chapter 3: I Wanna Fold Clothes For You

So, you and Yoongi are friends.

Of course, seeing him three times within twenty four hours was a fluke, and over the next six days you don’t see him once, not even in passing in your shared hallway. You’re not privy to his work hours, but you know based on what little he’s told you that working as a producer demands more than the normal nine to five, as does your job.

Still, there’s something about coming home every night and knowing that you have a friend right down the hall, if you need one. You haven’t had that in a long time, and you feel so much lighter now that you do have it. 

There is, of course, an upside to not being able to see Yoongi often. Given that you’ve only just met him, you don’t have his appearance committed to memory quite yet, and mercifully, you’re beginning to forget why you were so viscerally attracted to him in the first place. 

You reason that it must’ve been the alcohol. You were getting drunk when you met him, stupidly drunk when you discovered that you’re neighbors, hungover when you shared a tangerine, and drinking from a bottomless glass of wine (courtesy of Seokjin) when you drooled over his hands for a solid ten minutes. You have yet to interact with Yoongi clear-headed and lucid. Not to mention you’re just a little bit… pent up, recently. Drunk and horny Y/N had the wheel. That has to be it. Nobody is that hot. You’re sure of that. Men ain’t special!

So you go through your week business as usual, but with a slight spring in your step, and it’s lovely. You even venture way further away from the office for your lunch hour on Friday than you normally would to go to a restaurant you’ve been dying to try. You’re usually so tied to the office that the furthest you tend to go is the convenience store down the street for the instant stuff.

And then, since the universe demands correction (or overcorrection where you’re concerned), all of the floaty goodness comes to a screeching halt when you get in your car to head back to the office. Your car which, in the past hour you’ve been blissfully stuffing your face with tteokbokki, has decided it has done its job and is ready to retire.

It just straight up won’t start.

Sitting in the parking lot of the restaurant, you go into crisis management mode.

You’re thankfully not completely clueless where cars are concerned. It comes with the territory of owning a beater. You keep up with your oil changes, you don’t leave the lights on when you get home late. You replaced your battery semi-recently, so that shouldn’t be it. Unfortunately, you don’t have much time to troubleshoot. You need to get back to work. Okay… Damage control, then.

The most obvious solution is to call one of your coworkers to come and rescue you, but your coworkers are just as notorious for being tethered within a one mile radius of the office as you are, so that would more than likely end up being a waste of time. You could find the nearest bus stop, but who knows how long public transportation could take right now? Too unpredictable. You could call your boss and tell him that you’re not going to be back to the office anytime soon (or at all today) and get your car towed and repaired. But then you would suddenly have a reputation of being unreliable, because god forbid you have a human moment. That’s straight up not an option. You’ve been doing so good this week.

You’re sure there are other options. But isn’t this what friends are for?

He answers on the fifth ring, but he answers.

“Y/N?” 

“Yoongi.” You feel your shoulders slump in relief. You try your best not to sound as panicked as you feel. “Are you busy?”

“Um. I’m at the studio,” he says, confusion in his voice. “But I have a minute. Is everything okay?” Confusion and concern? That’s nice.

“Everything’s fine!” you blurt out. “Okay, maybe not. My car won’t start! I don’t know why, but it won’t, and I need to get back to work, but you’re at work, too! I don’t even know where you work, but I doubt it’s anywhere near where I am, and even if it is, I don’t want to tear you away from anything important—”

“Y/N.”

“—I know you said you had a minute, but I really don’t want to fuck up your flow. That’s a term, right? You’re a producer, you… flow. Anyway, I just don’t really know anyone here and I didn’t know who to call, and if I don’t get back to work soon my boss is going to kill me—”

“Y/N,” he says, more firmly. Your mouth snaps shut. “Where are you?”

“In my car,” you say dumbly, frazzled.

Yoongi sighs. “Send me your location.”

“For what?”

“I’m gonna send a car to come get you and drive you to your office,” he says, and he sounds just the slightest bit exasperated about needing to explain that to you.

Send a car? What the fuck? You have so many questions, such as: how fucking loaded is the guy who lives two doors down from you in your very shitty apartment building? What label does he even work for? How famous of a producer is he to be able to send a car to you? But your immediate instinct to turn down his help wins out over asking any of them.

“What? Yoongi, no, that’s too much,” you complain. “Don’t do that. I just freaked out a little bit, I can–”

“Y/N,” he interrupts. If you’re not mistaken, it sounds a bit like he’s trying not to laugh at you. Fucker. “Location.”

So you send him your location. What other option do you have?

“You’re not far,” Yoongi says once he receives your text. A few moments pass, and then: “Car will be there in ten.”

“Thank you,” you say. You feel nauseous, like maybe you’re going to cry, but there’s also a good amount of relief there, too. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“No need,” he says. “I’d come get you myself, but I really can’t get away right now.”

“Still, there’s a comically large bottle of an alcohol of your choosing in your future. Seriously, thank you.”

His responding laugh is enough to settle your stomach just a little. “Seriously, you don’t need to pay me back…” A pause. “But for the record, I like whiskey.”

You wrinkle your nose even though he can’t see it. “Gross.”

“Don’t be a hater.”

“As long as you don’t make me drink it with you, I’ll keep my comments to myself,” you say, finding yourself smiling.

“Oh, you think I share?” Yoongi teases back. He sighs again. “I really have to go.”

“Go, go,” you say. “Thanks for saving me. Even if it’s by proxy.”

“You can always call me if you need shit like this,” he says. You can tell that he means it. “I’m glad you called me. Means I’m doing something right.”

“You are,” you say, your voice soft. Your cheeks feel warm. Probably because you’re sitting in a dead car. “Thanks.”

Yoongi hums in response. “Text me when you get back to the office safe, okay?”

“I will. Bye, Yoongi.”

And that’s that.

★ ★ ★

True to your word, you text Yoongi when the stupidly luxurious car he ordered for you drops you off at your office, only ten minutes later than you’re due back from your lunch break. You’re able to slip in without anyone noticing that you’re late at all, which is great. Crisis partially averted.

He sends back a thumbs up emoji, and then decides to drop the bomb that he intends to pay for your car to be towed.

[1:21] You: YOONGI NO

[1:21] You: you can’t do that!!!!

[1:24] Yoongi: 100% I can and will as soon as I get ten minutes to make a phone call to sort it out.

The audacity of this man.

[1:25] You: seriously i cannot ask you to do that

[1:25] You: i was just going to take the bus back to the restaurant after work and deal with it from there. i’m actively researching towing companies and repair places on company time as we speak

[1:30] Yoongi: You’re not asking me. You’ve got enough to worry about. Let me take care of it. I know the places.

[1:31] You: still, i can’t let you spend money like that on me. i don’t even wanna think about what that car cost you

[1:31] Yoongi: If it helps you sleep at night you can pay me back on your own time. You definitely don’t have to though.

[1:32] Yoongi: That reminds me. You can use that car until yours is taken care of if you need to. I’ll send you the driver’s contact. Don’t take the bus.

You feel like you’re going insane.

[1:33] You: do you have a grammy or something? what do you DO to be able to afford shit like this? why do you live in our building? are you a drug dealer?

[1:37] Yoongi: :]

Of course, he gives you no clues about what exactly he does, but after a bit more back-and-forth, you finally give in and let Yoongi handle everything under the condition that you’re going to pay him back. He doesn’t seem all that worried about it, which infuriates you just a little.

You go through the rest of your day like normal, if not a tad twitchy. Come quitting time, you take advantage of having a driver at your disposal and have him stop a liquor store on your way home.

As you take the elevator up to your floor, comically large whiskey bottle (as promised) in tow, you text Yoongi and ask if he’s home yet. At his responding ‘No, why?’ you cackle to yourself and pocket your phone. The elevator doors slide open. You were hoping that would be the case. 

You clocked out at a semi-normal time tonight, a gift to yourself to cope with the stress of the day, and so you take great pleasure in setting the bottle down on Yoongi’s very tasteful cat doormat, flipping it off right back on your way into your own apartment.

You silently pray to whatever god may be listening that the whiskey isn’t swiped by someone before Yoongi gets home. Your cat, Pepper, is blinking at you lazily on the kitchen counter, and you give her a triumphant little scratch on the head before padding to your bedroom to deal with your laundry.

Your move, Min Yoongi.

★ ★ ★

“Do I need to be jealous?”

You take advantage of getting off work early to call your best friend Rina for the first time in what feels like forever. She’s in Paris this month, debuting a play that she’s been working on tirelessly about aliens and drug addiction. You’ve read the script six times over. It’s both campy and gut wrenching all at once, and you’ve cried every time. You picture her with her very chic haircut, sipping from a flute of champagne. The thought of her being jealous of any part of your life is laughable. 

“What do you have to be jealous of, exactly?” you snort, holding your phone between your ear and shoulder as you toss your laundry basket upside down on your bed unceremoniously. Your clothes are covered in a perma-layer of Pepper hair, and you think it’s lucky that Pepper is a black cat and most of your clothes are black. Very enviable.

“Of Yoongi, dipshit,” she coos through the phone. “You’re replacing me.”

“Sure,” you say, like she’s making total sense. You’re lying on top of your laundry now instead of folding it. You put her on speakerphone and rest your phone on your chest. “I’m throwing away ten years of being your best friend for a guy that I met a week ago. I’m glad you figured it out, honestly, because I was dreading telling you. I was going to wait until your matinée, but you don’t seem too broken up about it.”

“Of course. You have to do what’s right for you, I’ve always told you that,” she deadpans back, and you groan. You don’t want to hear it. “No, I just mean… It’s good. That you’re meeting people.”

“We’re neighbors,” you say, flopping over onto your front to rub at your temples. Rina is resting on a pile of your underwear now. “We talk about work. My work, not his, because he thinks it’s funny to act like he’s too cool to tell me about his job. He’s helping me with my car. We’re… neighborly.”

“And you want to fuck him,” she says. Maybe calling Rina was a bad idea. Debriefing over text would have sufficed.

“I don’t want to fuck him,” you say, indignant. “We’re friends. He’s nice. I can have a guy friend.”

“Of course you can,” Rina says, like you’re dumb for even thinking she would imply otherwise. “And you can be friends with him all you want. But you also want to fuck him.”

You groan in protest but she speaks over it.

“Baby, you can pretend, but I know how you talk about people you want to have sex with, even if you don’t say it outright,” she continues. “He may just be feeding you and helping you and talking to you about the weather, but I know you, and I know the whole time he’s talking you’re just agonizing over how he might fuck you if you let him.”

“That’s not fair,” you mumble, letting your face drop into your laundry. It smells good. Small comforts.

“Are you going to let him?”

“No,” you whine, muffled by the cotton. “I don’t need that. There are always strings. I hate strings.”

“You said he’s a super straightforward, honest guy, right?” Rina asks.

“Brutally so,” you grumble.

“So. Maybe he’d be cool with a lack of strings. You won’t know unless you ask, baby.”

You want to tell her that’s easy for her to say, but you don’t want to fight with her when you know you won’t hear from her like this again for a while. 

Rina has never compromised for anything. She decided in both of your sophomore year of college, after flirting with both performance and directing, that she wanted to be a playwright, and that was that. 

She wrote and wrote and wrote, and after you graduated together, her career blossomed almost instantly because she worked goddamn hard for it. She got opportunities to travel and work with theatre companies around the world, and she took them without giving it a second thought because she knew it was what she wanted. And she’s had a consistent, loyal boyfriend nearly the whole time. He doesn’t always travel with her, but he supports her in everything she does. They’re excruciatingly healthy about it. 

When your long-term college boyfriend dumped you unceremoniously two months into your first reporter gig because he felt he came second to your career, Rina was there for you. But you resented her a little bit. There was no way she could understand any of it. 

Still, as much as you hate to admit it, she has a point. You could just ask Yoongi if he wants to fool around without it being a thing, and you know he’d give you a straight answer. You’re even pretty confident he wouldn’t make it weird if his answer was no. That’s not the problem. It never is.

“The problem isn’t whether or not I think he’d be cool with it,” you mumble. “The problem is if he is cool with it, and then the strings come anyway. The friendship is nice. I’m attracted to him, yeah, fine. But I can ignore it if it means I get to be his friend.”

Theres a long pause on the line, and then Rina sighs.

“Your life would be a lot easier if you could do one night stands,” she says.

Don’t you know it. 

“Yeah.”

“I’ve gotta go, okay? Text me. Keep me updated on life.” You read between the lines. On Yoongi, she means. “I love you.”

“Mmmhh,” you mumble back, still burying your face into your laundry. 

When the line disconnects, you feel considerably more twitchy and irritable than you did before talking to Rina.

So, you’re attracted to Yoongi. Or you were, when you were drunk and he was all… hot and considerate. That doesn’t mean you have to act on it! You’re not going to act on it. You’re just pent up, that’s all. It’s been a long time since you’ve had an orgasm, self-inflicted or otherwise, and you can’t think straight.

Maybe you should fix that.

It’s clear you’re giving up on laundry for the night, so you shove the mountain of clothes back into the basket on the floor, sighing as you lay back on your bed.

You feel only slightly ridiculous as you shimmy your sleep shorts down your thighs, your hands sliding up your shirt to cup your breasts, squeezing slightly. Warming yourself up.

You quickly decide to get to the point, though. You’re struggling to immerse yourself in the fantasy that usually does the trick, too wound up and embarrassed (as if it’s not you in here by yourself, as usual) at groping yourself.

Despite the embarrassment, it becomes abundantly clear that you didn’t really need to warm yourself up anyway. Your fingers slide through your folds with ease, drenched like you’ve been that way all fucking day, unbeknownst to you, and a surprised moan falls from your lips. Fuck.

Closing your eyes, you circle two fingers around your clit experimentally, making your hips jerk up under you, sensitive. You do it again, a little firmer, starting a slow rhythm that makes you squirm against your mattress, your bottom lip rolling between your teeth.

It feels good. It usually does—you’ve always been able to make quick work of an orgasm to rid yourself of any lingering jitters before bed. But it feels really good right now, your pussy extra sensitive tonight, and you can’t figure out why. There’s nothing new about what you’re doing.

Rina’s words worm their way into your brain uninvited—the whole time he’s talking you’re just agonizing over how he might fuck you if you let him—and you’re too turned on to stop that train of thought, flashes of capable hands and pink tongue (tonguetechnologytonguetechnologytonguetechnology) filling your mind, and you’re moaning softly despite yourself as you rub your clit a little faster.

You continue to make soft noises of pleasure, your tongue darting out to wet your lips, dry from panting as the barrage of Yoongi-related thoughts keep coming, bringing you closer and closer to your release. 

Dark, dark eyes looking down at you. A delicate chain dangling above your face. You whimper, your fingers sliding down from your clit to sink into your pussy, curling up to rub at your inner walls. A thick cock sliding into you, filling you so deliciously.

You pump your fingers fast and desperate as you get closer and closer to that sweet edge. You wonder what Yoongi would sound like if he was the one fucking into you right now. Would he moan in your ear in that gravelly voice of his? He’s a man of few words. Would he be like that in bed, too? Would he call you sweet names? Not so sweet? Which ones?

Your walls flutter around your fingers, your hips stuttering up off the mattress as your orgasm crashes over you and you gasp out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

You stare up at the ceiling for a minute panting. The high of your release buzzes pleasantly through your body before it starts ebbing away, but the thoughts of Yoongi pervade. Well, fuck.

After another moment, you roll over onto your stomach to grab a towel from your laundry basket and wipe off your fingers, tossing it on the floor. You grab your phone, only to be greeted by a notification from the subject of your masturbation fantasy himself. He sent it about ten minutes ago.

When you tap it open, you’re greeted with a photo (!!!) of Yoongi holding your gift next to his head, the hand wrapped around the neck of the whiskey bottle almost dwarfed by its sheer size. A testament to the ridiculousness of it, because you’re well aware of how long Yoongi’s fingers are. There’s a lazy smirk on his face, and a mole that you’re just now noticing on his right cheek.

[8:23] Yoongi: Cute. 

Yep. Yep. Cool.

You swipe out, tapping on Rina’s contact.

[8:35] You: okay. i want to fuck him. 

[8:35] Rina: 🥂🥳🎉

Shit.

✧ shoot me a reply or an ask if you enjoyed this chapter! feedback is always appreciated <3 join my taglist if you want to be tagged in future chapters!

@dollfaceksj @jajabro

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[madamechrissy]

♡ Time after Time ♡

♡ ♡ Pairings ♡ ♡ CEO! Satoru Gojo x Fem Reader

♡ ♡ Warnings ♡ ♡ MDNI- Fingering, cunnlingus, cumming, dirty talk, jealousy (Gojo is kinda a dick again but he eats reader out good lol)

♡ ♡ Word Count ♡ ♡ 4,908

♡ ♡ Summary ♡ ♡ Gojo Satoru is your boss And you've been his head assistant for over two years now. You do everything for him, including and not limited to cleaning his messes, picking out his clothes, and writing his speeches. Sixteen hour days... night calls... You are tired of being overworked and at his beck and call. You decide you are going to put in your two weeks notice. He is shocked, and wants to try to keep you, because you're the best. But you know better. Right? . You really wanna fucking quit. You also wanna fuck him. Also, fuck him.

A/N (Kinda has 'two weeks notice' vibes a bit! No use of y/n.) Fully finished on Ao3 but I'm going to slowly get it all up here!

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

You balance the cups of coffee, one for Nanami, one for Gojo and one for yourself, cursing yourself for not just grabbing a drink carrier. You head up the elevator of Kamo tower, punching in your number, thankful that no one was in there and you could breathe for a moment.

Yesterday was intense.

This week has been intense. Since Gojo set his sights on you, it’s all you can do to keep it together lately. You feel nervous as you even think of seeing him back in his role as the arrogant ass of a boss, after feeling like you got to know him just a bit, that there was more to him. Was it enough to stay though?

The elevator dings and you walk out, smiling at Shoko and Suguru who were talking amongst themselves. They greeted you, as did nearly everyone that worked in the giant offices. You did know a lot of people for having no ‘friends’ per se. You peek as you turn towards Nanami’s desk, seeing him sit there contemplatively staring at a chart as his shoulder held the office phone to his ear.

You look to the left and see Gojo Satoru leaning against the office door, with a pretty young girl with blue hair leaning towards him, wearing a cute little business suit. You pause, looking down at your coffees in your hand, and then Gojo catches your gaze, hidden behind his shades.

He calls out your name and you internally curse, popping your and Nanami’s coffees on your desk real quick, before bringing Gojo his signature drink you got daily for him. A white chocolate mocha with extra sugar. You had absolutely no clue how he drank those and ate candy like he did and still had his lean physique.

“Here you go, Sir.” You said with a smile, handing him the Starbucks cup with his name on it. He gave you a little nod, taking it, peeking at your desk as if wondering why you had two cups.

“Thanks. This is Miwa, she is going to be helping you with the smaller tasks, like getting coffee for instance.” He took a sip, sighing, and you looked to the young girl, who was grinning up at Gojo like he was a rock star. Gojo tells Miwa your name, and she notices you for a moment.

“Oh! I’ve heard so much about you!” She takes your hand and shakes it with a sweet smile. You have to admit her energy is really kind, and you get no bad vibes from her. Even if she’s clearly wanting to pounce on Gojo.

“It’s great to meet you, Miwa. I certainly can use some help with these things so I can focus more on the business side of my work.” You sigh in relief a bit. Gojo was actually listening and trying to help. You should be happy, right?

Right?

“It’s so awesome to be here! Ahh Mr. Gojo is just the best isn’t he?” Miwa batted her dark blue lashes at Gojo, who preened under the attention like some fucking peacok, standing even taller as she leaned so close her breasts were against his shoulder.

“I am the best, it’s true. Aren’t I?” He peered at you. You snorted, instantly covering the action, and his jaw tensed. Miwa looked shocked at you.

“He’s an amazing boss and businessman. So what is her title exactly? Just so I know how to train her.”

He opens his mouth, but she cuts him off, yanking out her cell phone, handing it to you with puppy dog eyes. “Could you take a picture of us, please? ” She asks you, and you blink for a moment. Confused.

“Yeah, please. ” Gojo looks to you, pushing down his shades, those words dripping with reminders of yesterday. You feel your cheeks heating up as you take her little cell phone, scowling up at Gojo, who was grinning.

Oh yeah, you hate him.

You just remembered.

“Sure can, Miwa get close to him so I can get you both in the shot.” You say, saccarine dripping out of your words like venom.

You watch Gojo’s grin go away, jaw tensing. As if he couldn’t stand the thought of you not being jealous. You weren’t playing his games. Miwa literally squeals, standing in front of Gojo, grabbing his arm and putting around her shoulders. You remembered your selfie with Gojo, you weren’t touching or anything like this, but you remember how happy you were.

“Perfect. Smile, you two!” You watch him put on a little smile and throw his peace sign, as Miwa looks like she’s won the whole fucking lottery. “Love it. Look, Miwa, what do you think?”

Miwa bounces up and down and hugs you. “Ohmygod I love it! Thank you so much! My friends are gonna flip.” She giggled, texting away. You errantly notice her making it her phone background.

“I’m glad. I have a couple things to do but I’m here if you need help.” You told her, and she grinned brightly. She was adorable, you had to admit.

“Meet me in my office in a few.” Gojo told you firmly. You give him a little nod, barely acknowledging him.

“You got it, boss.” Your sarcasm drips like venom too. You give him a little two finger salute, and then go back to your desk, snatching up the coffees. When you turn back around Gojo is staring at you, eyes trailing up slowly across your body like a fucking caress.

You hate him.

He licks his lower lip, making it glossy, then turns, guiding Miwa into the office, who was still lovingly staring at her phone. They closed the doors and you roll your eyes as you think of whatever dirty shit his whore ass is gonna get to. Miwa seemed sweet so you almost wanted to warn her, but fuck it.

You head over to Nanami’s desk once more, and he’s just hanging up, giving you a little smile, just one side of his firm lips turning up, and you hand him his cup.

“It’s your usual.” You smile, and he sighs.

“Ugh thank you, I needed one.” He takes a sip.

“Of course.” You turn to head, but he surprises you by calling out your name. You turn back. “Hmm?”

“I could really use your help here. If you have a minute.” He gets up and yanks a chair from across his desk, pulling it next to him and patting it.

“ The Nanami Kento needs help from me?” You giggle, sitting down next to him, inhaling his woodsy scent. He was wearing one of his outrageous cheetah print ties, which went against the basic color suits he always wore.

“You’re an expert at figures.” He crooked his finger, and you leaned in, looking at his monitor, which had graphs and charts. “Could you make sure I’m not missing something?”

“Sure. Hmm. Scooch.” He scooches over, and you squeeze in next to him, starting to add and click. You’re right against him, legs brushing together, and damn if he wasn’t built like some action star, hard muscles against your firm thighs. You felt your pulse quicken a tad at the contact.

“You feeling warm? I can turn on my fan.” Nanami asks, looking at you, and you chew on your lip, remembering the embarrassing words you had said to Gojo the other night. Ugh.

“Could you?” Maybe it would help your redness. He leans across you, and you avert your eyes, to see Miwa sitting on Gojo’s desk, her legs dangling, Gojo in his seat, leaned back. They seemed to be enjoying themselves.

“Better?” He asks, and you feel the little breeze hit your chest. You sigh, smiling at him.

“Much. Thank you. I’m under that air vent over there it must be a little colder.” You know it’s bs but you roll with it. Your eyes peer back to Gojo’s office and you see he is now scowling at you, completely ignoring the blue haired girl in a skirt on his damn desk.

“Is she taking over when you leave?” Kento asked quietly. You looked at him, shrugging a shoulder a bit before focusing back on his chart, tapping the keyboard with your numbers.

“He hasn’t told me yet, and I still am not sure I’m leaving. But he said she’d be doing little things, like coffee runs and errands.”

“That is actually weirdly thoughtful.” Nanami pursed his lips a bit. You nodded.

“It actually is. I am supposed to talk to him later so I guess I’ll figure out my plans then.”

“I really wouldn’t like you to leave.” Nanami’s hand was on your thigh for just a moment, before yanking it off as if realizing you two were in an office, clearing his throat and pulling on his collar.

You felt confused. How could you even talk to him when you’d just been kissing Gojo yesterday? And what was that with Gojo anyway… it’s not as if Gojo would be with you. He hadn’t had a consistent girlfriend since you’d known him, instead opting for a bunch of women at once. So why even entertain those thoughts. But also what the fuck were you feeling?

Was orgasm brain that intense?

“Shit.” Nanami sighed. You realized you were in your head, making him feel awkward. You took his hand under the desk, smiling softly.

“No no. Don’t. I would miss seeing you too.” You told him, and he exhaled a bit, smirking then, peering at you under his shades.

“Hot as a friend huh.”

“Oh god!” You buried your head in your hands, and he laughed at you softly. “You’re teasing me!”

“Maybe a little.” You nudged him with your elbow, grinning. “We could be friends outside of work. If we could stay awake long enough.”

You grinned at him. “Yeah I’d like that. Are you trying to convince me to stay with the promise of your charming company?”

He scoffed. “So charming.”

“You kind of are.”

“Is it working?”

“Hmm. It may be. Maybe I should go work for Suguru.” You said with a sigh, Nanami laughed.

“It would be world war three. The only one worse to go to would be Sukuna.” He gave a little shiver.

“Oh gosh. Imagine. Okay, there. Got it all fixed.” You showed Nanami the figures on his monitor, and he leaned over your shoulder to look at them.

“You’re a genius.” His breath tickled your ear a little. You flushed.

“No, not at all. Just a nerd.” You turn your chair, finding you two rather close, and lowering your gaze a bit to focus on his tie. “You sure have the most interesting ties I’ve ever seen. Maybe I should get you a funky one for Christmas.”

“An ugly christmas tie? Ugh.” You laughed, standing then, and scooching your chair back in its place.

“I’d get a cute one. With snowmen.”

“Disgusting.”

You shook your head with laughter, and he stood, then too, as you took your coffee and sipped it. “The Starbucks girl asked for your number from me.” You said, and he turned slightly pink on his cheeks.

“Well shit.”

“Yeah, I told her to ask you personally. She said she was too nervous. She was cute.” You gave him a little smile. “Well, tell me if you need anything else, kay?”

“Thanks again. Oh, hey… you busy tomorrow night?”

“I never have plans.” You roll your eyes with a sigh. He chuckled.

“I understand that. But me, Shoko, and Suguru are grabbing drinks. And a couple people from work. You wanna come too?”

“Sure, that actually sounds really nice.” You’d have once turned down going out because of work making you so tired, but you realized you had to start putting yourself first. “I’ll be there for sure.”

“Good. We will have a drink. Since I’m your hot friend.” He winked, and you grimaced, blushing as he laughed softly at you.

“You are.” You winked back, giggling and running off to your desk. It was fun, just thinking of actually going out. Relaxing with everyone. You just almost get to your desk when Miwa is walking out of Gojo’s office, all starry eyed.

“I’ll get right on these, Mr. Gojo.” She had a stack full of papers.

“Thank you, Miwa.” He smiled at her, and she waved to you before running off. You turned to go to your desk but he paused you, saying your name. You looked up at him, sipping your drink.

“Hmm?”

“My office.” Was all he said, and you rolled your eyes, following him in, hearing him shut the door with a click behind you, locking it. You frowned, turning around, getting snatched up by him as he flicked shut the blinds with one button, pressing you into the door with his hard body.

“What… What the fuck!?” You demanded, shoving at him. He put his arms on either side of your head, lowering to your level, lips a breath from yours. You could nearly taste the mint, licking your lips nervously, eyes looking up into his, furiously scowling.

“Having fun flirting with Kento, were you?” He demanded, gritting his teeth together. You bit out a laugh, brows lowering over your eyes.

“Why do you care? Were you having fun with the view under that little assistant’s skirt as she fucking stroked your ego?”

He scowled, reaching a hand down to your waist, yanking you against his hard body. You ignore how good it feels. “You think she interests me?”

“You’re interested in any pretty thing with two legs.” You roll your eyes, leaning back to get away from him, but he yanks you closer.

“I hired her to help you with stupid shit. So that you’ll just stay.” He voice was husky, and you sighed, lowering your lashes.

“I know and I’m really thankful. But don’t act like she wasn’t all over you and you didn’t like it. That’s just bullshit.”

“You’re jealous as fuck.” He smirked cruelly, tilting your chin up, making you meet his goddamn eyes.

“You’re jealous. Not me.” You hissed. He raised a brow.

“Oh? Wouldn’t mind if I ate her out on this desk here, hmm?” His words hit you like a punch to the gut. You steeled yourself.

“Nope. Why would it? I’m used to you being a whole man whore. It doesn’t affect me at all.”

Liar.

“You’re a liar.”

You shoved at him, then, hard, but he didn’t budge, like fucking steel. You felt your body vicerally reacting to his big hand on your waist, thumb digging in. “You’re the one all fucking pissy I helped Nanami with some damn figures. Pulling me in here like some psycho.”

“You want to fuck him, still, do you?” He demanded angrily. You narrowed your eyes.

“What do you care either way? We’re not together.”

Gojo froze, and his hand dug in painfully, to where you winced, but your nipples hardened under your blouse. “I’m not fucking the new girl. You’re not as smart as I thought you were.”

“I’m very smart, thank you. Okay do you want a cookie, Satoru? A gold star? That you don’t fuck the little eighteen year old who wants your dick? I don’t even fucking care.”

He laughed, dark, digging his hand until it was in your hair, yanking it. “You act like you weren’t coming on my fingers yesterday.” You overheated, again, chest heaving, your breath coming out in little pants. His eyes went down your chest. “I can see you want me, now, even. Is my nun growing adventurous?”

“No the hell I’m not. I am… not… don’t want…”

“Can’t even finish your lie.” He slid a hand up to your breast, cupping it over your thin white blouse, moaning softly. “Not even wearing a bra are you? Is it because you wanted this?”

“Nope. I forgot.” You were lying to yourself. He plucked a nipple over the thin fabric, making you gasp.

“I’ve never seen you here not in some bra that makes these look smaller. As if that works. I could tell how big they were.” He pinched your nipple hard, and you cry out softly, before slamming a hand on your mouth. It was too late. He had the devious glint in his damn blue eyes.

“I hate you.” You bit out, and his hand went under your blouse, hot and hard, squeezing the softness of your breast, making you clench your teeth so that you didn’t moan again. He was grinning at you.

“Oh sweetheart, holding it in?” He pinched your nipple hard, twisting it just a bit, watching you falter, your knees wobble. He enjoyed it, like a predator with his goddamn pray, eyes drinking in your flushed face, your parted lips.

“Innapropriate workplace actions. I’m telling HR.” You start chuckling then, and Gojo did too, throwing his head back.

“I literally am HR.” He kissed you, and you bit his lower lip, trying to hurt him, but instead he moaned.

“You’re shit at HR, Satoru.” He bit your lower lip now, licking it, as if it was a little apology. You sighed. It felt good. “Mmm. Stop.”

“Why?” His whisper was alluring, it shot your brain down, and spoke directly to your pussy. Fucking Gojo.

“Because we’re at work, dick! Also you’re acting jealous when I’m sure you’ll be fucking the new girl.”

“You’re stupid as shit.” You scowled, and went to slap him. He snatched your wrist, slamming it into the door, trapping you. “I want you, how fucking clear should I make this?”

“I won’t be one of your-”

“I. Want. You.” He shook you as he spoke. You blinked, shaking your head. “Oh, I don’t?”

“You just want to have fun, play some game with me.”

“I don’t play games.”

“Sure the fuck do.”

“Let’s play this game then. The quiet game.” You yelp as he picks you up with ease, carrying you to his big mahogany desk, sitting your ass on it.

“The what?” You wriggled, and he scooched up your skirt, eyeing you, thin brow raised. “What are you…”

“Shh.” He put a finger to your lips. “You think I wanna play games when all I wanna do is fucking taste you.”

“Oh…” You felt yourself dripping, and he yanked down your pink panties, already damp, the cool air smacking your cunt. “I… why…”

“Because you taste good.” He whispered, sitting in his office chair as you were spread apart for him, eyes raking you in intimately. He kissed your thigh, nipping, then biting hard. You start to cry out and he grins. “Ah ah. Quiet game. Keep that pretty mouth shut, baby girl.”

“Gojo… we can’t! I…” You trembled when he barely brushed his thumb against your clit, swirling in your desire.

“Already so wet and all we did was kiss.” He teased you, blowing gently on your already sensitive clit, making you cry out, jerking your whole body. “Stop lying. Tell me the truth.”

“What truth? Unh!” Pleasure shot through your body, straight up through your tummy, making you ache when he placed a kiss right above where your swollen clit was, torturing you. “Satoru…”

“Tell me you want me to. That you need me to.” He murmured, and you hated him more. He took all your defenses away.

“I won’t.” You tried to close your legs, but he pushed them open,

“You’re so fucking stubborn. Admit you want it.” He flicked his tongue on your clit then, and you gasped, covering your mouth with your hand, eyes rolling back in pleasure you had never felt before. “Say it, fucking brat.”

“No.” He yanked away, and you cried out, then he smacked your pussy, enough to sting, and you hated that you actually liked it. You slid up on your elbows, and before you knew it he had your shirt wide open, your breasts spilled out, and he leaned over you in his black suit, gorgeous as fuck.

“You want me to make you cum, don’t you?” His silken words did things. You couldn’t lie when his face was against yours, his forehead touching yours.

“Yes.” It was weak, pathetic, you were shivering. His lips brushed yours, and you felt things, more than physical. When he was breathing heavily, his eyes lidded, lips parted, affected by you too. You reached your hands up to the lapels of his jacket, lifting your hips up. “Do you want me, though?”

He let out a breathy laugh, as you ran your hand down his shirt, feeling his hard chest. “You think I don’t want you, fucking brat? What, you think I wanted that little Miwa girl?”

You nod, feeling emotions you shouldn't be blinking back stupid tears. “Why wouldn’t you? You are Gojo Satoru. You can have whoever you want.”

“I want you. Silly girl.” He kissed down your breasts, to your nipples, flicking a tongue on them and then sucking. Your hands went into his silky hair. “Tell me what you want. Words, baby girl.”

“I want… I want you to…” You were stammering, blushing. He looked up at you, smiling.

“You’re so cute. I’ll make it easier.” He returned to between your thighs, kissing them softly. “Say you want to come on my face.”

“That’s a lot!” You covered your face, so nervous, so shy out of nowhere. He could see you wide open. He pulled your hands down.

“Your pussy is so pretty.” He purred. “Nervous?”

“I just haven’t… I want to…”

“Say it.” He kissed you there again, breath hot against where you were already dripping wet.

“I want to come on your fucking face.” You couldn’t believe the words out of your mouth, what this man did to you. “Please, make me.”

“As the lady commands.” He said softly, then his head dipped, and the sight of his white hair between your thighs was enough to make you melt, but his tongue sliding up your slit… 

“Jesusfucking shit ahh!” He laughed against you, peeking up.

“Quiet game.” He winked, and you nodded, biting your knuckles as he did the motion once more, your pussy pulsed around nothing, aching. You couldn’t believe you were here, wide open, on your boss’s desk. And you begged for it.

“Mmm.” You moaned into your hand when his fingers spread your plump lips apart, tongue sliding in deliciously, like nothing you could describe, as his finger found the hood of your clit, pulling up for his tongue to slide back and flick. You jerked, and he held your hip down, tilting his head and starting to flick faster and faster.

You started panting, breath heaving, hand balled into a fist as your cries muffled into it. The only noise in the office was Gojo slurping up your wetness and your little sighs of pleasure, as he literally drank you in. He slid a finger in you, looking up at you, and you see his chin is glistening with your desire.

“Fuck.” He whispered, and you felt yourself fall apart, pulsing around his finger. He groaned and flicked his tongue as his finger massaged your g spot, and it was impossible not to make noise. You shoved both hands on your face, crying out, shaking. Everything went dark then fuzzy, and you became so dripping wet his finger slid with ease.

“Fuck fuck fuck.” Your hips twitched against him, as he licked you through your orgasm, then kept licking after, when you were so sensitive you couldn't handle it. “Satoru… unh… so good I-”

Knock. Knock. Knock.

You freak out, trying to close your legs, but he grins like some Demon, his whole face wet at this point, making you blush in embarrassment. He licks his lips, continuing crooking that finger deep in you.

“Yes?” He asks calmly, calmly, hitting a spot that made you ache, shoving his hand on your mouth now. His eyes drank in your face.

“Mr. Gojo I have that done… I wanted to talk to you. Are you busy?” Miwa's voice came from the other side. Gojo was studying your expressions as his hand pressed hard, the other now fucking you with two fingers. You moaned against his hand, body rolling in overstimulation.

“I am a little busy right now. Is it important?” He asks so calmly. He smirks at you, not stopping his fingers from fucking you. Your eyes roll back, back arching, clinging to his wrist like some fucking lifeline.

“Oh no, I actually heard there's a work get together Friday. Can I come?” He laughed that laugh of his, looking right into your eyes.

“You can come.” As he said it he pushed in deep, and you started pulsing again, falling apart when his palm put pressure on your clit. You wanted to fucking scream.

“Thank you!” She ran off and Gojo eased his fingers out, shoving them in your mouth.

“Suck them off.” He ordered, and you did, so much of your wetness, and your pussy ached, empty, oversensitive, the air hurting your puffy aching lips. “You admit you're jealous. Now. I saw it on that face.”

“I can't be.” You finally whispered as he eased his hand off your mouth.

“You like to lie to me. Its annoying.” He pulled you down on wobbly legs, bending you over his desk. He slapped the fuck out of your bare ass.

“Dick! That hurts!” You hiss, it was no sexy little slap, he had left a whelp. It stung and burned and brought tears to your eyes.

“Admit it.” He bent over you, whispering in your ear, finger caressing your slit. “You want me to yourself. Already. Greedy little bitch.”

“Do… Not. Am not. Ow!” He smacked you so hard you jerked forward.

“You like it.” He played with your cunt. “She's stupid fucking wet.”

“Yes I like it ugh!” You tensed waiting for another smack, but instead he kissed your neck. So sweet. A walking contradiction.

“Good girl. Now. You're jealous. Say it.”

“Why? Why do this.”

“I want you to admit it.” He caressed your backside, thumb brushing your sickness.

“I shouldn't be.”

He paused, then sighed, kissing your bare shoulder. “Neither should I.”

You froze, turning your head, and your eyes met. Had he said that? Admitted that… was he… were you…

“Yeah. I am.” You sighed, hating what he made you admit. He wasn't grinning though. He kissed you, taking your breath away, hands finding your breasts.

“You're beautiful.” He whispered, and you felt it. You lost yourself in the kiss. You wanted more, arching your hips up, ass against his rock hard length pressing against his dress pants. He moaned, grip tightening.

“Fuck me.” You watched his jaw drop. “Please, Satoru. Please fuck me.”

Gojo lost it, turning you around, kissing you wildly, tongues dancing, saliva dripping between you. You drank each other's moans as he pressed hard against you, and you grinded on him, throwing your head back.

“I want you to come around my cock, tight and pulsing. I want to fucking push my come inside you. Fill you the fuck up.” He was pressing so hard you wanted to come again from just friction. 

“Mnh. Do it. I can take it.” He laughed a bit, easing from you, pecking kisses on your neck.

“Am I old fashioned? I kind of want my first time with you in my bed.” You felt like an idiot, burying your face in his chest. “Hey…”

“I'm such a hoe, ‘fuck me here on your desk’. And you are like let's wait. I think the orgasm brain is dangerous.”

He laughed softly, pulling your face up to look at him. “I'd fuck a normal woman right here and be done. I just think I'd like to spend my time with you. A lot of time.” His jaw tensed. “Fuck. Maybe my brain is fried from your orgasms.”

You started laughing, hands trembling as you attempted to button your shirt. “Shit.”

“Let me.” His calm hands made quick work of adjusting your clothes. He found your panties and slid them up you. “I want you. Do you see now.” You nod shyly. “Good. Now go think of my tongue on you while you flirt with fucking Nanami.”

“Ugh! Stupid.” You shook your head and he grinned. His pretty fucking eyes bore into you. He could see through you. “I was just talking to him.”

“And so was I with Miwa.” He helped adjust your hair.

“This is… it feels good.” You leaned back as he brushed out your hair with his fingers. He kissed you once more. 

“Get back to work now, assistant. I need you to get on that presentation.” He tapped your nose. You rolled your eyes.

“Yes Mr. Gojo.” You batted your eyelashes. He snorted.

“Wish I liked nice girls and not this evil fucking bitch.” He smacked you again, over your skirt. You smirked at that.

“Wish I liked a nice guy and not a demon.”

“Demon with an amazing tongue.” He stuck it out and you bit your lip, making him chuckle darkly.

“It is, but you're still a dick.”

“And you're a bitch. A bitch who tastes really good.” Your whole body was jello. You'd never felt that fucking good.

And now you have to work.

What the fuck happened…

Did you just admit you liked him? Begged him to fuck you on his desk?

That tongue had done things...

Yep you were screwed.

Chapter 6

Chapter on A03:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55424137/chapters/141034786

[syddsatyrn]

Chapter 1 ⛤ Chapter 2 ⛤ Chapter 3 ⛤ Chapter 4 ⛤ Chapter 5 Masterlist

⛤Pairing: - Eddie Munson x FemReader

⛤Warnings: Swearing, drinking / smoking, fluff, friends to lovers. This is probably gonna end in smut.

⛤Words: 1.4k

⛤Song: "Photograph" By Def Leppard

⛤Summary: Moving away from Hawkins was the biggest mistake of your life. You left your best friends and forgot to stay in touch. Years later, you decide to hit up your good friend Steve. Its time to make a plan and make amends. The one thing you didn't expect was feelings to resurface when you saw your old highschool crush.

⛤Notes: This series is 18+ Minors scram. Special thanks to @hellfiremunsonn, I am a wreck without her, lol. This chapter is a little short. We are doing a slow burn, ladies , gentleman and nonbinary friends. Next Chapter will have Eddie in it I promise! Please check out Chapter one before you start this one. Thank you!

⛤Chapter 2: Pulling Strings You walk into work early and meet up with your manager. You explain that you need a week off to visit family in Hawkins. They calculate your vacation time and approve it, it's official! In two weeks you're going back to your childhood hometown. You asked a couple of coworkers to help cover your shift and got lucky, they both agreed they could use the extra hours. It was the longest two weeks that you've ever experienced. You passed the time with some shopping for your trip. You made sure to get all the essentials, and a couple of new cute outfits to bring too. You visited your mom and told her all about your plans, she's excited for you! She even sent you off with a little extra money, just in case.

Everything appears to be falling into place. The anticipation is killing you. But you start to find yourself thinking about Eddie quite often. You thought about his dark brown eyes, and how shockingly cute he was when he smiled. Back when things got difficult with your family, Eddie was always down for some late-night talks, listening to you vent for hours sometimes.

The night before you left, you spent time packing, calling Steve, and confirming some minor details. You took a shower before bed and watched some late night TV. When you finally decide to turn in, you crawl under the comforter and try your best to get some rest. Even if you still feel a huge pit in your stomach.

—--------------

You're beginning to think you should have packed lighter as you hauled your bags down to the car. You load everything into the trunk and settle into the driver's seat. You take a deep breath and start the car, the engine roars and you hit the gas. There's no next time, it's now or never. Time to take a leap of faith and do your best to be a better friend. You might not get another chance. The sun shines through your windshield as you turn the bend, the fresh Indiana air is crisp and clean. As you see the “Welcome to Hawkins” sign, your body starts to tense up. You try to recall the directions Steve gave you in the correct order. You turned onto main street and kept on until you saw the blue apartments named “Hawkin’s Heights”. You pulled into the parking lot and backed into a parking space carefully and cut the engine. 

It took you what felt like forever to get out of the car. But after a few deep breaths and some time to mentally hype yourself up, you are ready. You walk upstairs and follow the numbers until you find apartment 106. You knock on the door and it instantly opens.

“Y/N! I’m so glad you made it!” Steve looks completely thrilled to see you. He scoops you up into a hug and pulls you inside the apartment, shutting the door behind you.

“Hi Stevie” You laughed “It’s so nice to see you!” Steve finally lets go and you recognize the other familiar face in the room. It was none other than Dustin Henderson.

“Oh my god, Dustin?! You’re like…all grown up!” You can't believe how mature he looks now. You give him a massive hug, he's taller than you now. Time sure does fly, kids sure do grow up fast. The boys head downstairs to help you lug your bags inside, thank goodness you didn't have to do that alone.

Once you get inside you notice the boys are taking your stuff down the hall, and you follow them. Once you walk through the threshold you immediately know whose room this is.

“You’ll be staying in Eddie's room. He comes back from tour in two days so you’ll see him then. I’m sure he won’t mind at all.” Steve explains so casually like it's no big deal.

“Oh god, I couldn’t just take his room. I would feel so bad. What if I take the couch?” You ask with a nervous laugh.

“Can’t, Dustin is on the couch. His mom went on this singles cruise. Even now I’m still somehow babysitting.” Steve laughs and Dustin scoffs at him. Your face turns a little red at the thought of sleeping in your high school crush’s bed.

“Don't listen to him, Y/N, my mom is just paranoid.” Dustin retorts as he follows Steve to the kitchen.

They both leave you to order some pizza and give you time to settle in. The room is truthfully very clean, there are Metal posters all over the walls, along with flyers from shows he’s played. He has some Christmas lights hanging for some ambiance. You take a seat on his queen-sized bed, it feels really comfy. The back comforter and black pillow cases were so him. There are guitars hanging on the wall, a couple of guitar stands, and amps off to the side.

I guess it can't be helped. You'll have to deal with it for now, maybe you can crash at Robin’s later. You shut the door and find yourself some lounge clothes to wear, settling on a pair of shorts and a large Metallica t-shirt. After brushing out your hair and setting out some clothes for tomorrow, you decide to join the boys in the kitchen.

“We got two large pepperoni pizzas,” Dustin announces, Steve opens two beers and offers you one. You gladly take it and grin as you see the label.

“Did you buy my favorite beer on purpose?” You ask, poking fun at how much of an accommodating host Steve can be. When the pizza arrives you all settle down in the living room and watch some late-night sitcom. Steve tells you all about the lengths he's gone to get everyone to gather here.

Nancy is coming to visit with Johnathan, they are staying with her parents. Robin has no idea you were here, Steve had to come up with some ridiculous excuse for her not to show up today. Eddie called to tell him when he would be returning in a couple of days and Steve had to play it cool like nothing was going on. He told them we were throwing a get-together at the Hideout but didn't mention you in the slightest.

“Wow…Look at you pulling all the strings.” You clapped softly and Steve took a little bow. You were truly impressed with his ability to put all of this together. “Thank you, Steve. This is so cool of you.”

“It was nothin’ really. You called and I had to make it happen.” He shrugs with a half smile. You hug your friend and decide to excuse yourself. You had a long drive and it was exhausting. You walk back to Eddie’s room to turn in for the night. When you look over at the nightstand you see a pack of cigarettes, half empty. Eddie used to bum you cigs when you hung out at his trailer. You flash back to the time your Dad was drunk and acting out, arguing with your mom. You ran off to Eddie’s place and your mom almost called the cops.

You grabbed one out of the pack and used the lighter next to the ashtray. You opened up a window and placed the cigarette between your lips and lit it. The taste was like shaking hands with an old friend. It was smooth and you almost feel bad for breaking your 3 year streak but also, one won't hurt…probably. That same nostalgic feeling you felt opening those boxes came flooding back in.

We were just teenagers, there were so many signs that he was head over heels for you but you were naive, oblivious, and it hurt you a little. Neither of you had the guts to say anything to each other. A regret that made you feel shameful to say the least. You’ve wondered if he still has feelings for you or is he off having the time of his life with his groupie fangirls?

When you try to define this feeling it's next to impossible, you feel a sense of anticipation. It's like you’re eager to relive some feelings, or longing for a simpler time. You take a few drags and try to wave the smoke and your insecurities out the window. You can't wait to see Robin tomorrow. It's time to get some sleep, you have a feeling you won't be getting much for the rest of the week.

You put out your cigarette and shut the window, turn out the light, and finally crawl under the covers. You have to admit, his bed smells really good, like fresh linen and men's cologne. It made you feel especially comfortable, and it didn't take long to ease into a deep slumber. You could get used to this kind of contentment. 

[huellitaa]

bee's record player: march edition. 🎀𓂃 ࣪˖

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 !! notice !! ♡

surpriseee <3 wanted to try and add a little of my personal influence to my girlblog since music is literally my entire life & thought it might be funny to show u all what makes up the chaotic glittery mess that is my brain (and because there are almost 1000 of you beautiful people following me whatt?? thank you😭). i've allllways wanted to do smth like this too so, here u go !! 🩷💗

(+ this is a way for me to rant about my interests without being annoying to my friends / moots 😭. to anybody who has listened to me rant or cry or scream or whatever over music ily guys mwa)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 NEW ARRIVALS

goddess, laufey

♡ released march 6th, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 4 minutes 28 seconds

eternal sunshine, ariana grande

♡ released march 8th, 2024

♡ full album / LP

♡ best songs: supernatural, the boy is mine, we can't be friends (wait for your love), intro (end of the world)

♡ running time: 35 minutes 33 seconds

unheard, hozier

♡ released march 22nd, 2024

♡ extended play / EP

♡ best songs: too sweet (i adore this song.)

♡ running time: 13 minutes 59 seconds

super real me, illit

♡ released march 25th, 2024

♡ extended play / EP, debut! ♡

♡ best songs: magnetic, midnight fiction

♡ running time: 9 minutes 36 seconds

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 BEE'S TRACKS: TOP 10

♡ 10. my world, illit

girly girl song!! i've been obsessed with illit's whole super real me album, their debut is soo good oh my gosh. its criminally short but i seem to have listened to it a lot !! 😭

♡ 9. we can't be friends (wait for your love), ariana grande

i have SO MUCH to say about this song but it resonates with me so much in so many different ways and i just. oh my god. ariana i love u so much

♡ 8. we got so much, le sserafim

k so i initially didn't really like this song but... it's grown on me. a lot. since it first came out. um. it's pretty simple honestly and it's just really girly girl it makes me feel like a school girl i love it

♡ 7. this is what makes us girls, lana del rey

girlblogger anthem!! okay confession i did not get into this song until LAST MONTH. i know. it's terrible and i am ashamed i am so sorry. but i have formed such a strong emotional attachment to this song its crazy i adore it

♡ 6. imperfect for you, ariana grande

exposing myself pt.3 i was in a really big depressive slump for like one half or more of this month actually and this song helped me so much i can't 😭 i love you ari

♡ 5. the boy is mine, ariana grande

(are you noticing a pattern here yet) um another ariana grande song no lol um idk what ur talking about haha 🥰 this song is so twerkable im sorry i wasnt a fan at first but im obsessed i need to stop

♡ 4. smart, le sserafim

no words. once again wasn't a huge fan originally but oh my god im obsessed w it now. afrobeat type of songs are, will, and always be top tier and i will die on this hill. (i've been SO OBSESSED with le sserafim lately but i think thats fairly obvious here😭)

♡ 3. eternal sunshine, ariana grande

i adore this song oh my god. its become one of my favs of all time since it came out. this was on loop for HOURS when i first heard it and its such a comfort song for me. it shows her growth so beautifully and there's so much about it i just absolutely adore like i could write a whole essay on this song and still wouldnt be able to express how much i love it

♡ 2. magnetic, illit

illit was bound to pop up here again this month tbh ok so me and my bsf were listening to this on loop the entire time at school a little after it came out like we were sitting in the front row of our class and were still watching the magnetic mv under the desk on her phone. so in love with this song it makes me so happy n feel so cute i ahh <3

♡ 1. supernatural, ariana grande

SUPERNATURAL IS THE SONG EVER. first day it came out i listened to the album and this was on loop constantly for the next week or more. it's made it up to my top 10 fav songs of all time ever and i listen to A LOT of music. this song is my life<333

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ALBUMS

♡ 1. eternal sunshine, ariana grande

fairly self explanatory. i love u ari. there was soo much ari this month bc ive been a diehard ari stan since i was 8 and have never looked back. since yes and released in january i have been ecstatic about ag7 releasing in march after 4 YEARS of no ari so this was MONUMENTAL for me 😭😭 THE DROUGHT IS OVER ARIANATORS RISE 🩷🩷🩷

♡ 2. super real me, illit

so basically the day this album came out my best friend was spamming me about them and i only listened to them like 2 days after cuz she was annoying me about it and OH MY GOD. i listened to them and then proceeded to loop the whole album for the next 72 hours 💗 and for a debut as well is amazing ily illit girlies

♡ 3. with you-th, twice

so i wasn't much of a fan at first bc they just sounded really similar and bland to me but its grown on me a lot since it came out and i've been listening to it so much throughout the entirety of march. its just so oddly comforting in a way and feels like a hug in music form (+ rush and bloom are the best songs argue with the wall)

♡ 4. easy, le sserafim

self explanatory. i'm obsessed with le sserafim at the moment and this album is everything to me. ass shaking album 10/10

♡ 5. k-12, melanie martinez

i have been revisiting one of my fav albums of all time this month and its as amazing as always. this has been my favourite album of all time since it came out and i will never ever get over k12 🩷 10000/10!!!! <3

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ARTISTS

♡ TOMORROW X TOGETHER

♡ TWICE

♡ LANA DEL REY

♡ LE SSERAFIM

♡ ARIANA GRANDE

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 SPECIAL MENTIONS

♡ happy 1 year to portals by melanie martinez! oh my god this album helped me through all of 2023 and i went to see her on tour in london for my birthday last november and it was surreal. she's amazing. i adore her and this album (i have it on vinyl hehe) and love it SOO MUCH 💖

♡ expect ordinary things by ariana grande to be high high on my top 10 next month its been on loop for days now im obsessed

♡ there's going to be a LOT in next month's issue seeing as 2 of my all time favs are coming back next month, so prepare for that! so excited ahh <3 (one has already released at the time of writing this. prepare urselves.)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 EDITOR'S NOTE

this was SO FUN oh my gosh. i am 100% making this a regular thing~ lmk if it was entertaining, improvements needed, artists / albums you'd like me to keep up with etc, or just general comments, ideas, reviews and so on. thank you so much for reading, this was so fun! look forward to next month 💗🫶💖

lots of love 💘

[weatheringtea]

FMA Cafe

While I was in Japan, the FMA cafe opened up :D I've never been to an anime cafe before, so this was perfect! I went once a week (so 3 times in total) so I could try a bunch of different dishes and collect coasters lol

I tried to put this under cut because it's long and full of pics, but adding the read more ruined the formatting of the pics so I'll leave it.

The first trip was March 22, kind by accident LOL. I was in the area to see Shinjuku Gyoen and the cafe was on our walk back to Shinjuku stn. The lobby was empty, so I gathered my very out of practice JP skills and asked if it was possible to get a seat as a walk-in. They said yes :D

Word hadn't gotten around yet it seems, so it was very empty upstairs too LOL. Great for pics :D

There's a ¥1,000 sitting fee and you get a drink with that. There's a QR code given to you for the menu (it matches to your table number so your orders are tracked). Menu was a bit clunky, probably because my JP reading skills are in the toilet, but I figured it out! They played the same 10 minute video the entire time (for the FMA mobile game).

Because I showed up late I only bought one thing to eat (last order for food was 18:00 and I didn't really sit down and get things figured out until 17:45-ish), and it was Lust's chocolate cake. It was very good (and very heavy lol). I got the Edward Elric drink first and the Roy Mustang drink second. Both came with mystery coasters. Ed's drink was better imo.

At the end the couple of us on the 2nd floor snuck up to the 3rd for pics before leaving.

I went back the day before I left for Osaka :D (27th)

Word had gotten around by now about the cafe and merch shop and it was busy this time! I popped in at 12:15 and asked if they had any seats available. No, they're full. He offered to book me in for 14:30 though! So I putzed around Shinjuku for 2 hours and went back :D

It was packed this time!! On both floors.

Winry's pie was alright. Heavier than I was expecting. Ed's fries were fun! They came with a white paper bag that you transfer the fries into, and you add whatever mix of spices you want from the spice cups it came with, then shake in the bag. Neat! Also tasty.

Drinks were Olivier's, Bradley's (with matching coaster!) and Ed's drink again (I should have gotten Roy's again dammit, I tried to take his glove hand home from the first time, but it got wet, the ink bled, and it ironically fell apart...)

Olivier's was the neatest looking drink, but also my least favourite. Bradley's was my favourite drink - very good!

I went back on April 4 before I went home ;A;. This time I made a reservation. I asked for a seat on the 3rd floor, since my first 2 had been on the 2nd, but I think seating is actually based on how early you get in line. I got in line early and noticed everyone in front of me also got 3rd floor, so I think they just fill the 3rd before dealing with the 2nd.

ANYWAYS

Great seat. A+. My spot had 2 table numbers and I asked if it was okay and they just were like "yeah yeah it's fine no worries". Okay!

By this point they must have been besieged with tourists. Poor woman hosting the floor couldn't speak English to save her life (and half my floor was tourists). She got to me and tried to suffer through a few English words and I stopped her. I'm fine with the instructions in Japanese :') please don't suffer more on my account.

Bradley's drink again, Ed's Milk Hater drink, and the classic FMA drink BECAUSE I CONTINUE TO FORGET ALL ABOUT ROY...

Ed's milk drink though... you pour the milk into the mug filled with soda(??) and ice. It tasted like a float without the cola?? It was unique... the most interesting drink to try for sure (Bradley's still my favourite).

I bought the mug at the gift shop :')

LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS AL PUDDING. This was amazing and fun. There is a little cake, there is a little ice cream, there is a little pudding, there's a little idk what it was but it was chocolate and good, and there are cat themed cookies under the pudding cup LMAO. Then there's the blood seal inside the tin. A+ Al wins. That was so much fun, I'm sad I left that until last, I probably would have gotten it again.

You could have totally sold me on this mug too if it had been for sale.

Look, I did remember Roy sorta :') I got his doughnut. It was HEAVY and the icing was so thick on top it was rock hard. Sticky, messy finger food.

So that's it :D I've run out of picture space lol. I wish I'd gotten to taste test things in the second round later in April (ARMSTRONG'S HASHED BEEF ;____;) but I hope they enjoy all the money I gave them while I was there LOL. I had some neat food and had fun doing it :)

[reigningqueenofwords]

Cyber Tag

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Part 2 of the Games We Play

For some reason, getting on at the same time lately had been difficult. You’d be logging off, just to see his name pop up, and vise versa. Sure, you would have loved to stay and chat, but you had work to do. So, you left each other little in game presents and notes.

Theinastus- Haven’t seen you on lately. I miss our flirting. Did you replace me with someone real? *gasps* I bought you a pie. I hope you like it!

-K

It wasn’t much, but it was something to let him know that you were thinking of him. You waited a few more minutes before calling it a night.

Dean groaned as he rolled over. “Remind me never to do that again.” He told his brother without opening his eyes.

Sam chuckled. “Which part? Going shot for shot with half the damn bar? Accepting drinks from a few hot chicks? Or getting up on stage and singing Girls Just Want to Have Fun. Which, by the way, I have on my phone.” He grinned.

“God, you suck.” He yawned, getting up. “Any new cases yet?” They’d just finished up in that town- hence the active drinking last night. None of which he remembered after the first hour. Which was probably a good thing.

“No, but I’m looking.” He shrugged, his eyes never leaving the laptop.

Finally, that evening, Dean felt well enough to keep his eyes open and logged on. He smiled softly at your note and sent you one in return.

Kanestinia-

You spoil me. I love me some pie. Did you know they make apple pie moonshine? Good stuff. Two birds with one stone. Anyways, I miss it, too. I’d never replace you! Did you replace me? I hope not. I bought you a rose, until we chat again.

-T

Hitting send, he went off to work on some quests.

This went on for three weeks until you finally saw him online. You were about to click his name when he sent you a message.

Theinastus- MY CYBER LOVE! Kanestinia- My cyber husband<3 Theinastus- I’ve missed you :( Kanestinia- And I, you. Theinastus- Busy life, I take it? Kanestinia- You have no idea. A lot of traveling- like 4 states or something? I lost track… Theinastus- We did a lot, too. What states?

That was brave. Neither of them ever discussed locations they were in before. But, he was feeling brave.

Kanestinia- Cali, Washington, Oregon, etc… that area. You? Theinastus- Holy shit. We might have passed each other! Or even spoken. How crazy is that? Kanestinia- That’s insane!!!

You stared at the screen, wondering what were the possibilities that the two of you were in the same states, at the same time, and had spoken? Slim, right?

Theinastus- Where are you headed next? Kanestinia- Nevada. Theinastus- …Boulder City.   Kanestinia- How’d you know?!? Theinastus- Lucky guess. Care to dress up like your character so I know it’s you if I see you? Or a sexy school girl? Kanestinia- You wish lol :P Theinastus- More like dream ;)   Kanestinia- Awe, shucks, you’re making me blush.

After a couple randoms together, you forced yourself to get off and get some sleep. You wanted to leave first thing in the morning, and that wouldn’t happen if you let yourself stay up flirting all night with him.

Dean had a silly smile on his face as Sam came out of the bathroom, hair wet from a shower. “She send you pictures or something?”

“No, nothing like that.” He grinned. She’s going to be in Boulder City.”

Sam’s eyebrows went up. “Really? Did you ask her out?!” He grinned, as his brother deserved to be happy.

With a sigh, Dean shook his head. “No. I’ve told you, I won’t.”

“They why are you out here grinning like a love-sick teenager?”

“Because, she’s been in the last few places we’ve been, and she’ll be in the next one, too. For a bite, we’re under the exact same sky.”

Sam stared at him. “Are you sure she isn’t a hunter, too?! And I think you should go find someone to go home with. Let them deal with you like this. It’s weird.” He teased.

When you realized how long it had been since you brought a man home from the bar, you sighed. You’d been so focused on your virtual man, that you neglected real life. It was your last night in Boulder, and you decided to have a couple drinks.

You walked in wearing a black t-shirt, cut off shorts, and sneakers. No need to doll it up too much. Your hair was left out, and your makeup minimal. You went straight to the bar and ordered a beer, and a shot.

“Two beers, please.” A tall man with hazel eyes ordered from a couple seats down.

Your eyes ran over him and you smirked. Taking your shot, you winked at him.

When he grinned, all you saw were pearly whites, and dimples. “Hi, I’m Sam.” He moved over and held out his hand.

“Y/N/N.” You shook it. “Nice to meet you, Sam.”

“Can I get you another shot?” He offered.

You sipped your beer, your eyes still on his. “Only if I get a dance out of you.” You countered.

“Why don’t you join me and my brother at our table? We can have a couple beers, and I’ll dance with you as much as you’d like to.”

Sliding off your stool, your body brushed against his. “Lead the way, handsome.” You chuckled, grabbing your beer.

[gurugirl]

I love stepdad Harry! Always brings a smile to my face when i see youve posted (guilty pleasure yum). Thank you for the last one!

but i cannot get enough of stepmom reader. You’ve made that one into something really special. In fact I told someone about it last week and they were like ~ nope. Not into stepmom stuff or older yn. Nope ~

but then guess what? they wound up reading it and binged all three parts and admitted to me that they were wrong 😂 I’m like ‘yeah I know’

just wanted to share that with you! Your stepmom fic is so shockingly good (not shocking bc you’re not a good writer, shocking bc it’s a trope most of us were not interested in) that it’s quickly become my top 5 all time favorite.

i cannot wait for part 4! I adore them and you so much. Do you have any idea when part 4 will come out? Any sneaky???

ps.. sorry for the weird capitalization stuff going on there. My phone decided when to capitalize randomly and I’m too lazy to fix.

A Good Boy sneak peek under the cut below!

🥹 thank you so much, babe. Really glad you liked the stepdad!harry from yesterday! That was a quick little fun thing to write.

As for stepmom!reader - wow! I really love that you're liking it so much and talking about it with other people and that your friend changed their mind 😂 Seems to be the theme for that fic. So many of y'all didn't think you'd like it based on the trope alone but I'm surprised that you guys did enjoy it anyway! Makes me smile.

So, I'm almost done with part 4. I think I can have it out by Thursday? Maybe? I'm super busy today (well, busy for me LOL) and gonna try to write but I've also got something I'm working on that someone paid me to write so I'm prioritizing that. Thursday at the earliest I'll post part 4 but I'll let y'all know.

And the random capitalization? My phone does the same. 😂 The words can't, can, and don't often get capitalized in the middle of sentences and it's a crapshoot on when the beginning of a sentence will be capitalized or not. I need to turn it off so it just leaves everything lowercase. So no judgement from me!

Sneak peek below !! (just remember this is literally copied from the word doc I'm writing in and hasn't been proofread or edited so some changed may be made before I post part 4)

Y/n was wearing her newly altered peach silk dress. The alterations were simple. The straps and hem were adjusted and the back column was dropped down a bit to drape to her low back. Her strappy nude heels were well-worn but comfortable because she was just simply not in the mood to wear the stiff, new heels she’d just bought.

The estate of Rebecca Manera was impressive. Probably equally as impressive as Leonardo Styles’. Most of the guests had already arrived by the time the Styles’ walked through the front door a little late.

Leo scolded Y/n for taking so long to get ready and making them run behind but in all honesty, she didn’t give a fuck. They could be half an hour late. No one would care. Why rush to go to a party? It’s not like they needed to clock in and earn a paycheck.

“It’s rude, Y/n. That’s why it matters. You’re so goddamn rude sometimes. You only think about yourself.”

She turned sharply to look at her husband in shock. That was the first time he’d ever said such a thing to her. Normally he had no opinion on how she conducted herself. She was chronically late. Yes, she could admit that was a flaw in her character but she was on time when it really counted. But to get so worked up over a party? And to insult her on top of it?

That had set the whole mood for the night. And now she was even more suspicious about this Rebecca.

But when Rebecca did make her appearance and introduced herself to Y/n she was taken aback. The woman had to be in her 50s. She was pretty, sure, but not quite Leo’s type. If Y/n were any sort of indicator of a type.

Servers walked around with trays and served the couples in attendance. There were only ten couples there as well as Rebecca’s two daughters, Y/n learned. Quite the intimate affair really.

Leo brought a glass of wine to Y/n as she chatted with Mrs. Topman (she never learned her first name, as the woman literally introduced herself as Mrs. Topman).

“Here you are darling.” His green eyes shined down at her before searching the room casually. She was on to Leo. But she found it odd that the woman he was with in the Hamptons was Rebecca. She was intrigued.

She watched Rebecca mingle and sip wine and laugh and there was nothing there that made Y/n think Leo would be interested in her sexually. But maybe that was it, Y/n thought to herself as she cocked her head to the side watching the woman speak boisterously. Maybe it wasn’t sexual. Maybe it was a woman he felt a deeper connection with than he did with Y/n. Perhaps it hadn’t started sexual but led there.

The snack table was set up with decadent treats. Y/n picked up a toast smeared with something pink, topped with heart-shaped tomatoes on top as she scanned the room for Leo, wondering where he’d gone off to. It hadn’t been that long but knowing about Rebecca being with him made things feel like she was in some kind of true crime detective story and was trying to get to the bottom of a mystery. Though there was no crime being committed, she could entertain herself with that thought.

“Are you enjoying your time tonight?”

Y/n turned her sight to Rebecca who was next to her picking up the same toast with pink schmear.

“It’s amazing. Your home is so lovely, Mrs. Manera,” she smiled and noted the woman’s massive diamond ring in addition to her massive diamond wedding ring.

“Why thank you. Phineas has put in so much work to make this large shell into a lovely cozy home.”

Y/n nearly spat her bite out. The home was anything but cozy.

“It’s incredible. Where is Mr. Manera tonight?”

“Oh, just over there,” she pointed to a man in tweed with thick black-framed glasses, “You haven’t met yet?”

Rebecca led the way as Y/n walked in her wake to meet Mr. Manera. She had still not spotted her own husband.

“Phineas, dear, this is Mrs. Styles. Leonardo’s wife.”

The man held his hand out, “Very nice to meet you, Mrs. Styles.”

“Likewise. You can call me Y/n.”

 “Well, Y/n. We’re happy to have you here. Where’s Leo anyway? Haven’t seen him.”

Turning around quickly to look over her shoulder she shrugged and faced the man and his wife again, “Not sure actually. I haven’t seen him in a bit myself,” she laughed. And before she could even think about what she was implying she spoke to Rebecca, “But I’m sure you’ve seen enough of him since you saw him in the Hampton’s this weekend.”

Rebecca and Phineas’ smiles dropped as they looked at one another and then back to Y/n, “I haven’t been to the Hamptons in over a decade. Are you sure you’re not mistaking me for Parker? Our daughter? She was just there all weekend with her girlfriends.”

A Good Boy Masterlist

A Good Boy tags: @becauseheartsgetbroken-hs @shishcabobsworld @daphnesutton @spinnerswife69 @holy-macncheese-balls @cookielovesbook-akie @lilfreakjez @itsgigikay @amateurduck

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 3

Summary:  Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 15.3k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: Jumping on my spot because this chapter just fully starts it all and I cannot wait to hear what you think about it!!!  I don't even know what to say anymore, I'm just to eager for you all to read this one lol. Enjoy!!! xx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 |

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

It had been two months since their goodbye. June had been filled with work, mostly for commercials with a fourth of July theme. There were so many brands they’d worked with, that Ella had lost count of how many meetings she had attended in the last three weeks of the month.

True to his word, a week after their last talk, she got an email from their management asking for her name and address to be added to the PR list. Suck it and see had been out for a week already and she had bought it digitally, but her stomach fluttered as she typed in her information.

She just couldn’t wait for when the next video was going to be recorded.

July seemed to go the slowest it could’ve ever gone. And by the time August came, she still had no news about the band’s music video. The end of the first week of August was approaching, she was half tempted to go up to either Ben or Aaron and ask about it, but she was afraid of how that would make her look like.

Little did Ella know, she didn’t have to wait any longer, since the following Monday she got a list that read Arctic Monkeys - Black Treacle, Evil Twin, Suck it and See with dates on the top of the page that said August 14th - 16th 2011.

She hid her slight freakout very deep inside herself and left it for when she finished getting the details on the list ready. Four days later, when she handed the list back to her bosses, she allowed herself to get showered in nerves.

Ella knew by then that they were going to see them at a festival they were playing at in San Francisco, and she was beyond excited for it but her stomach was turning just from thinking she would be seeing Alex again after two months. Sixty days since they last spoke and she realized far too late she had no way to even contact him during the wait for the next music video.

Well, not that she would’ve been brave enough to ask for his phone number and maybe he would’ve laughed at her if she had asked for his email, but she was wondering what it would’ve been like if somehow they could have a way to keep chatting despite the distance.

And as if someone had been stealing the sand from the hourglass, before she even had time to properly prepare herself for the encounter, it was August 14th and the production crew was parking their bus at the festival grounds. It was around three in the afternoon, they had made a stop for lunch that made them arrive an hour later than anticipated but they weren’t late enough to have missed the band’s set.

After a while of walking and trying to make their ways through the artists backstage, the group of fifteen people sporting ‘Outside Lands’ wristbands managed to make it to the spot the brits were standing at.

And Ella almost didn’t recognize him.

Alex had a fresh new haircut, a quiff that just screamed greaser, and she fully had to force her jaw back up after seeing him. He had his leather jacket on, despite it not being cold, gold framed dark sunglasses that fit him perfectly, jeans and a black shirt on. A cigarette behind his ear that had an effect on her she couldn’t quite describe, but she was sure her legs went a little weak when she saw it there.

Holy fuck.

It was around a drinks tent that they were standing by, all of them with plastic cups in their hands and laughing around. She smiled as they got closer, missing being around their banter.

Nick was the first to notice them approaching, turning around with a giant smile and waving at them. The rest of them turned to where the bassist was looking at and when they saw the crew they matched Nick’s grin and gesture.

The directors were the first to approach them and shake hands. Ella followed closely behind, way too excited to greet them again to hide anymore. She hugged them tight, saying a small but high pitched “Hi” to each of them, Matt swaying her from side to side while embracing her.

Alex grinned brightly at her, feeling warmth from her presence. She didn’t waste any time in pulling him in for a hug, her hold so tight on him that he started feeling dizzy from the way it was making him feel inside.

“Hi Ellie.” His arms were around her waist, giving her a squeeze before she let go.

She was grinning from ear to ear, “Hi Al.” Ella knew her greeting had been effusive but she couldn’t care less what any of the crew members had to say, not when Alex was looking at her like that.

They were both slowly letting go off each other when Aaron spoke up, “Thank you so much for having us at the show today.”

Ella took a step back, standing beside Ben. She made it seem like she was adjusting the camera strap on her shoulder, but she was hiding her blushed cheeks behind her hair.

Matt waved it off like it was no big deal, “It’s great having you all here. Hope you didn’t get lost trying to make it here.”

Ben chuckled, “It was a whole quest but we made it.”

Matt turned around then, getting some cups and pouring what seemed to be tequila in four of them and turned around with one on each hand, “Well, you’re all about three shots behind so better catch up.”

Aaron grabbed one of the shots Matt was offering, “Well, let’s get to it then!” The director turned to all the crew, nodding with his head towards the drink table so they could all get tequila shots.

Matt was quick to pour everyone their shots and when they all had them in hand they took them at the same time, he hadn’t been kidding about catching them up because he walked down the line of people filling their cups again so they could go back for a second one.

Alex took the opportunity to check Ella out more intently. She looked amazing under the sun, her tan long legs were out, she was wearing a pair of jean shorts held up by a black double buckle belt, a black bodysuit that showed every curve on her body perfectly and on her feet were a pair of black gator skin cowboy boots with silver detailing. She looked very western, and he loved it. From his spot he could see some tattoos littering her body like the red ink writing she had on her left thigh that was making him have thoughts he couldn’t say out loud.

She wiped the drops of tequila that were falling from her chin to her neck, “Fuck.” she mumbled, “Do we really gotta do a third one?” She was already feeling the warmth from the alcohol inside her buzzing all the way to the tips of her fingers.

Matt smirked, “Yes Ellie!” He poured her a third shot, filling her cup a bit more than the last time.

She narrowed her eyes at him and Alex chuckled at her expression. Matt proceeded to pour more tequila around and when the last person was served, he shouted, “Cheers everyone!”

The burn wasn’t as bad for her anymore, but she felt like if she didn't have a chaser any time soon, she would be throwing her lunch up. Alex saw her struggling after she gulped it down, turning to the table and handing her a lime wedge.

“Ugh, thanks.” She said in a pained voice, sticking the fruit in her mouth quickly after.

The sourness relaxed her and once she felt like it was enough, Ella took it off her mouth and threw it and the cup to the trash. “Matthew, I hate you.”

Everyone laughed, some of her coworkers had reached out for lime as well and she didn’t feel as bad anymore. She was now feeling more buzzed by the second. Oh, I’m already regretting this, she said in her head.

Alex then turned to their crew and said, “We’re going on in about an hour or so, you all can go around the festival if you’d like. Those passes can take you about anywhere.” He pointed to a guy’s AAA wristband, hoping they would all take their ways and he could have some time to hang out with Ella.

With that, many of them turned to pour some drinks and make their way to the closest stage, the directors saying they were gonna check whoever was performing as well. About five minutes went by when they were all left alone with the PA by the drinks tent.

Ella smiled at them, grabbing the strap from her shoulder and taking her film camera in her hands, she turned it on before saying, “Let me take a picture of you all!” They all nodded and started taking position for the shot.

Alex ran his hand through his hair, as he smiled towards the camera. Matt and Nick were raising their drinks in the air and Jamie stood beside them with a cigarette between his lips. She captured her view, smiling at them as she lowered the device. “I’m going to be taking pictures all day so you better be good muses and pose for me.”

Alex and Matt laughed at the way she was starting to slur her words, getting very obviously tipsy already. The singer decided to tease her, “You know… you’re only missing your cowboy hat.”

She snorted, “I always have it with me.” and she lifted her left arm, showing off her little cowboy hat tattoo on the inside of her bicep.

He giggled in response, “Brilliant.” and he took a sip of his drink, “How many tattoos do you have?” He ended up asking, curious to know what she would decide to print on her skin permanently.

She took some time to think and count, touching her rib by the end and lifting a total of six fingers, “About six at the moment:” she showed her cowboy hat again, “this one’s for Tennessee,” she then turned to her side showing him her right arm, “Lover here,” she pointed to her right shoulder where the word could be read, she then proceeded to show her tricep on the same arm “The angel wings for LA,” she turned back to her front, and lifted her shorts a bit over her left thigh, “Divine feminine,” was the one on red ink Alex had first noticed, she then put her left arm up to show the outside of her forearm where three little butterflies adorned her skin “my butterflies,” and she finished touching her left ribs over her bodysuit “And Selcouth here.”

Jamie frowned as he let go of the smoke he was holding in his lungs, “Sorry, Sel– what?”

Her face softly blushed and her lips formed a shy smile, “Selcouth, uhm, it means unfamiliar or strange yet marvelous.”

Jamie nodded while Nick tilted his cup towards her, “That’s nice.”

“Thank you Nick.” She placed her hand over her chest, an exaggerated expression of her gratitude for the little compliment. “Anyway, how have you been? How’s the tour going?”

Alex sighed, moving next to her and throwing his arm around her shoulders, “Well, other than the constant moving and therefore constant jetlag, it’s been great.”

Matt, who had been doing something on the table behind them, turned around then with a smirk on his face, “But nothing some margaritas cannot cure, right lads?” He had two glasses on his hands, raising them up as he walked towards Ella. “Here you go m’lady,” and he waited until she hesitantly grabbed the glass from him to move on.

“Oh no Matt, I don’t think–” She tried saying quickly, holding the glass as far away from her as possible for him to take back but was cut off by the man before she could finish her sentence.

The drummer handed the other one to Alex and made his way back to the table to hand Jamie and Nick theirs. Holding his own drink, he turned around to tut at her, “We’re not thinking right now.” He took a sip and let out an exaggerated sigh of pleasure, “We’re having fun and getting pissed!”

She turned to her left where Alex was standing, still holding onto her. “I–” She started again but Alex looked at her expectantly, softly encouraging her to take a sip after he had taken one of his.

“It’s really good Ellie, try it.” Alex assured her, taking a second sip.

She rolled her eyes, “Okay fine, but you better not complain if you need to end up taking care of drunk Ella today.” pointing at all of them, she took a swig of the beverage.

They all cheered, throwing their arms up in the air. Alex’s arm left her shoulders for a moment and she just laughed at their enthusiasm. When his hold came back around her she approved of Matt’s creation, “That’s really good Helders, you’re gonna have to teach me how to make it.”

“Whenever you want, Ella.” Matt replied, winking at her.

She let out a short laugh that died when Alex held her a tiny bit tighter to his side. The alcohol in her system was making her feel brave, so she let her head rest on his shoulder. She felt him tense for a quick second and she was about to curse herself mentally, when she felt him rest his head on top of hers, rubbing her shoulder with his thumb, over her lover tattoo.

She bit her lip to stop a massive smile from appearing on her face, not wanting to be too obvious in front of the rest of the band who were too preoccupied chatting amongst themselves to notice.

Ella let her eyes close for a second, getting lost in the feeling of his fingers on her skin and that’s when Matt glanced at them, making eye contact with Alex who hid his smile behind his glass. The drummer didn’t say anything, he just nodded and smiled at his friend, happy to see him smiling after weeks of sadness.

A few weeks ago, the singer had broken up with his girlfriend. It was a mutual accord, both of them too busy to even see each other as often as they could manage which made them come to take the decision. Decision that very obviously hurt them both. They had been together for over four years and he had been thinking of proposing one day, but shit happens and all he could do was move forward.

Tour had been distracting him, and he had been writing a lot to cope but there was something about the way he had felt when he saw the American girl again, and now he didn’t want to let go of the feeling—therefore not letting go of her.

Ella lifted her head up, making him do the same. Alex looked down at her and she smiled at him before leaning into his ear and whispering, “I really like this new look.” she pulled back a bit and checked him out very clearly, making him blush.

He smirked with pink cheeks, “You do?”

She nodded eagerly, “Very much.” The green on her eyes, dusted with brown flakes that looked like gold under the sun, was hypnotizing him behind his sunglasses.

He let his arm fall from her shoulders to her waist, leaning into her ear and whispering, “Thanks Ella.” in a tone that almost made her shiver.

The next fifty minutes they spent all together, drinking more margaritas—which Matt had taught her now how to make—, taking pictures and just talking about whatever came to their minds.

As the time for them to be on stage got closer, the people from her crew came back, equally or more tipsy than she was. Alex had counted her current glass to be her third and when she finished it, he grabbed it from her and threw it away, leaving her side to get her a cup of water.

When he came back he grabbed her arm softly to catch her attention, “I need you to start drinking some water now, Ellie.” his voice mellow and coated with wariness over her state.

She rolled her eyes and laughed at his worried features, “Alex it’s fine, I’m not drunk yet.”

He nodded, grabbing her hand to have her fingers wrap around the cup, “Exactly, yet. We’re gonna keep drinking after our set, I just don’t want you to be sick while we’re on.”

Ella thought he looked so cute with his furrowed brows, taking care of her, “Hmm, you’re cute,” she said softly, giving him a toothy grin. “Okay, I’ll have some water.” she finally took the cup and brought it to her lips, relief washing over him.

He was blushing, really liking how she was being with him—all soft yet forward. “Great.” he replied in a mumble, holding her close to him once again like they had been all afternoon.

Many had seen them, but no one said a word. Not to him, because he was genuinely smiling after Alexa. Not to her, because no one could question her and be nosy about it in front of the band.

Her cup of water was halfway done when someone from his sound crew made his way over to their group. “Let’s go lads, we need you over by the stage. You’re on in ten.”

Alex nodded, downing the last of his drink. His mates did the same as he turned to her, “You’re gonna keep having water yeah?” his eyebrows raised as he expected her to comply.

An amused sigh was what he got, “Yes, okay, I’ll stick to water now.” She rolled her eyes as he nodded, pleased with her answer.

“Alright, see you up there.” He said before kissing her temple and making his way to the side of the stage, leaving her a statue under San Francisco’s burning sun.

She was frozen and flushed, her temple felt hot like she had been branded. Branded with the shape of his lips and she was sure she had been. That little kiss would be pathetically engraved in her mind forever now.

Matt made her come out of her trance, asking her, “Would you like another one before we go?”

She knew she should’ve kept her promise of sticking to water, but she truly felt like she was sobering back up to a barely tipsy state so she nodded, “Please and thank you, Matt.” She downed the last of the water she had and threw away her cup before going beside the drummer.

When she stood beside him he was quick to ask her, “Would you like another one so you have a refill for the show and don’t have to come back here to make yourself one?”

She giggled, “You wanna see me black out, don’t you?”

Matt laughed, shaking his head, “That would be hilarious to witness but no, I’m genuinely asking.”

“Oh Matt, you’re so kind, look at you!” She nudged his shoulder with her left hand, sarcasm so obvious in her tone. He just laughed as he poured some tequila in her glass.

A minute later her and Matt were making their ways to the side of the stage. Alex was lighting the end of a cigarette, Nick already smoking his and Jamie was telling them something. Ella thought it was the perfect opportunity to get another picture of them, so she set her glasses down on a table a few steps away from her and grabbed her film camera with her right hand.

Her feet took her to where the band was standing, and when she got close enough, she rested her hand on top of Jamie’s shoulder. “Sorry to interrupt but, can I take a picture of you guys?” she asked shyly, a little bit embarrassed over having cut their conversation short.

They all reassure her though, giving her warm smiles and nods. “Sure Ellie, where do you want us?” Jamie asked while turning around, facing her.

She pulled the camera up to her eyes, “Just stand right there and give me a pose.”

Nick kept his stance, smiling at the camera. Alex brought the cigarette from between his lips, and with it between his fingers, he put his hand out as if trying to reach for the camera. Jamie turned to him then, hugging him from behind like they were Rose and Jack from Titanic.

Ella laughed as she looked through the viewfinder, pressing the shutter once she got her lenses to focus. “Beautiful!” She exclaimed as she put the camera back down, turning it off and letting it rest on her stomach while the strap was around her neck.

“What the fuck? Why are you taking pictures of everyone but me?” Matt’s voice got louder as he came closer to them.

She snorted and brought her hand to her chest, “No, I’m sorry Matt, I’ll take another one with you! C’mon!” she waved for him to go stand beside his bandmates but the stubborn man just stood there shaking his head.

“No, I don’t want to be in the picture anymore.”

She pouted at him, “C’mon, before you have to go on stage.” she elongated her words, whining for him to move.

The drummer just stood there shaking his head as he adjusted his in-ears, the reason why he wasn’t around when they took the picture. “No.”

She rolled her eyes at his obstination, “Helders, get in the picture.”

He started playing with the drumsticks he had in his hands, shaking his head.

“I’m not going to drag you over here.” She uttered in a tired tone.

He shrugged, acting uninterested. “Okay.”

Ella threw her head back, and sighed, “Matt, please come here.”

He once again shook his head, “Thank you, I’m good.”

She deflated as the negative response reached her ears again, “Oh for fucks sake,” she mumbled to herself before pouting once again, “Please?”

The band was watching the whole situation, entertained. Matt made eye contact with Alex who was standing a couple of steps behind her, the singer just shook his head with an amused smile and Matt lost his serious stance when he chuckled.

A grin broke on her face, “Will you let me take your picture now?”

The drummer kept laughing lightly and nodded, “Yeah but this is your second and last chance.”

She rolled her eyes, bringing the camera up to her eyes. “Alright Helders, give me your best pose.” watching him through the viewfinder and trying to get the shot to focus.

He made it seem like he was going to strike a big pose, she was excited to see what he would do but then he just flipped her off with his drumsticks sticking out of his hands.

The men behind her bursted out laughing, the shutter went off once and she let the camera back down, hanging from her neck. “How nice of you, Matthew.”

He shrugged, smirking at her. “Well I really enjoyed hearing you beg, Ella.”

She rolled her eyes and it was her turn to flip him off. Matt just laughed at her, waving the lads over to start walking with him.

Just before they disappeared behind a fence, she told them “Good luck!” to which they thanked and smiled at her.

Ella went back to retrieve her margaritas, hoping no one had taken them, and to her relief they were still sitting where she had left them. She was quick to take a sip of one of the glasses, joining the group her crew made and walking with them to the side of the stage.

The festival crowd was loud, making the anticipation for their set build up. Her stomach was in knots seeing that many people and she couldn’t believe how the band didn’t seem nervous at all. They were laughing amongst themselves, adjusting their in-ears and smoking cigarettes as if they weren’t about to perform to a giant mass of people.

Ella had been staring at Alex so it was no surprise that he turned around and saw her. She kept her glance and gave him a bright grin, him matching it. He took a look at her hands and saw the cocktails she was holding onto. Alex raised his eyebrow in question, and she giggled before putting her cup up and mouthing ‘cheers’ to him to then take a long sip of the beverage.

He shook his head, smirking at her. He found everything she did so endearing, he was getting confused on what exactly was her effect on him. He couldn’t help but compare it to how he felt when Alexa would look at him or talk about him to her friends. But that was love, he was in love with Alexa and she was his girlfriend. Surely what he felt for Ella wasn’t love, he only was attracted to her; a crush, perhaps. Yet, it felt nice and he wanted to keep the feeling for as long as he could.

His thoughts were interrupted when they were instructed to get on stage. Walking up to hundreds of people who were screaming for their band and their music was something that he would never grow tired of. Not even in a narcissistic way, but a bloody-hell-I-can’t-believe-this-is-my-job way.

He blew the audience a kiss and waved at them as he went over to retrieve his guitar from its stand, then making way to the microphone to greet them. “How you doing, everybody?” he strummed his guitar, pressing on a pedal so it sounded distorted.

Her and the crew were cheering along with the crowd, only getting louder when Matt started hitting the drums. With ‘Library Pictures' they started their set, Ella knew the lyrics by heart so she was having the time of her life singing, dancing and drinking while she watched them play.

Their set lasted an hour long, and it went by so fast between the crowd going louder for their most recognized songs and the band feeding off their energy.

Soon enough, they were getting ready to play their last song, Alex said a few words before starting it. “Thank you very much everybody, thanks for coming out. You’ve been a terrific audience.” He pointed out to the people as he talked, “We’ve gotta go now, which is sad… but, erm, you enjoy the rest of your day and we’ll see you some other time.” And with that he started playing the chords to ‘When The Sun Goes Down’, singing the starting verses.

Before he repeated the last line of the song’s intro, he took a pause and the crowd yelled, cheering on the upcoming beat change. “Make some noise everybody, let me hear you.” said Alex to the crowd, encouraging their screams.

Matt took the moment to turn to the side of the stage, seeing Ella in the center of the group, with her cup almost empty and holding a burning cigarette between her fingers. She was cheering just as loud, making the drummer laugh before he looked back to the front, at the sea of people standing before the stage.

“I said, he’s a scumbag, don't you know.” sang Alex, making the beat drop and the band joining with their own instruments.

He turned around while playing his guitar, going over to Matt to continue strumming the chords when his friend nodded over to the side, where Ella was standing. He turned to look at her, and a big smile made its way to his face.

She had a cigarette perched between her lips and a half empty cup on her right hand, bumping her head to the beat while she imitated Matt’s beat of the drums with her hands. Alex laughed at how invested she was in the song, she was enjoying herself and that sight made him warm inside.

He turned back to the mic, singing the rest of the lyrics with the grin still stuck on his face. He looked over once again to the side of the stage, seeing her now imitating his fingers on the guitar. She smiled and pointed at him while singing the chorus with him.

Alex was so distracted by her actions that he almost sang the chorus once again, he stopped right away, mumbling an apology that was barely audible from the crowd’s cheers.

As the song came to an end, everyone but Alex stopped playing their instruments. Jamie threw his pick to the crowd and set his guitar down to leave; Matt stood up and waved at the crowd, leaving after Jamie. Nick went over his bass stand to set it down and crouched to get the drumstick Matt had thrown in the middle of stage, he tossed it to the crowd and put his arms up in celebration of their cheering before leaving.

Alex sang the last verse, elongating the last chord, to then turn around and leave his guitar next to Jamie’s. He grabbed his beer bottle and blew a kiss to the people before following the trail of his friends.

When he got to the side of the stage, he smirked and pointed at her, “You were the best dancer of the crowd.”

Ella blushed but jumped up and down exclaiming, “That was amazing!” Which made the rest of her crew come up to the band to congratulate them. The brits thanked everyone as they were all making their ways back down to the festival grounds.

Alex stood by her side, taking sip after sip of his beer. And as they took the last step of the stairs to the grass, she leaned into him and with slurred words said, “You know… this haircut really goes well with the whole rockstar thing you’ve got going on. The leather jacket, sunglasses everywhere and all that, pairs really well.”

He laughed at her drunken monologue, “How many margaritas have you had?”

She thought about it for a few seconds, frowning as she tapped her index finger on her lips, “Three, I think?” She thought back to how many times she’d left the side of the stage to make herself a drink and going back through her mind, she realized it had only been once while they were playing ‘Brick by Brick’.

He hummed and nodded at her response, “Well enjoy your last few sips of this one because it’s your last one.”

Ella pouted but nodded, knowing it would be for the better, considering they had to shoot right after the festival. “Okay, I guess.” She downed what was left of the drink, “Done!” she said with a smile, putting the now empty cup upside down in front of her, a single drop falling to the ground.

Alex chuckled at her, “You’re something else.” She was looking at him, squinting her eyes from the sun, so he grabbed his sunglasses and placed them on the bridge of her nose.

She adjusted them and softly nudged his hips with hers, “Thanks, the sun was about to make me cry.”

“You’re very welcome, they look good on you.” He complimented, making her blush.

She shook her head and put some of her hair behind her ear, “Ever the flatterer, Turner.”

They decided to go over the drinks tent to get Ella some water so she could sober up. She practically downed the first cup in less than thirty seconds, realizing how thirsty she had been for something non alcoholic or sweet. With a new cup of water for her, and a new beer bottle for Alex, they went up to their large group again.

Everyone decided to stay and watch The Black Keys, meaning they would leave at around seven thirty and they could reach their filming location to set everything up before it went fully dark out.

During the American band’s set, she had started to shiver. The sun was coming down and the wind was picking up, her no sleeve bodysuit and shorts weren’t helping her in the slightest and she had left her jacket on the bus.

When a particularly cold draft of air hit her back, the words automatically left her lips, “Shit, it’s so cold.” She was shivering despite Alex being beside her.

He of course took the opportunity to be cheeky, so he put his arm around her and hugged her to his side, “Is that better?”

“As much as I’d love to say yes, no.” she honestly replied when the wind still made her shake even with his hold tight on her.

He nodded, taking his arm off her. She thought for a second that maybe he had taken it the wrong way. But he placed his beer bottle on the ground, and took his jacket off, picking his bottle back up when he had the leather coat on his left hand.

“Here you go.” He offered his jacket to her, a shy smile on his face. He knew all about giving girls his jacket and how that looks to other people but he couldn’t give a shit about others’ opinions when he wanted her to be warm and to see how she’d look wearing something of his—other than his eyewear, that is.

She immediately looked to her sides at the crew scrambled around the main stage side area where they were standing. They were with the crowd but far away enough that no one would bother them, the people were too engrossed in the band playing on stage. The group she’d come with were all distracted as well and weren’t looking at them but she still didn’t want to draw more attention to them and she had a feeling that once they went to the hotel to sleep, she would be drowned in questions from her coworkers about her and Alex’s proximity.

She waved her hand in front of her as if to say no, “Alex, it’s fine I can bear it for a little longer until we leave.”

He knew why she was saying no, as she kept glancing over to her bosses and coworkers, so he reassured her, “Everyone is distracted Ella, no one’s going to see.” He understood her distress since he didn’t want her to get in trouble either or for people to talk about things that don’t concern them, but it would be fine.

Blood rushed to her cheeks when he said that, knowing he knew exactly what her thoughts were on the situation, so she sighed and gave in. “You’re annoying.” she stated as she grabbed the coat from him.

With a smirk on his face, he was quick to bite back, “And you’re very stubborn.”

Ella felt the comfort engulf her as she put the jacket on, drowning in his scent. It was slightly big on her but she looked stunning nonetheless, the sleeves covering up her hands made him want to squeeze her cheeks and kiss her. He felt the sudden urge to kiss her.

But they just smiled at each other, enjoying each other’s company far too much for this to be only a friend-through-work situation. His sunglasses were resting on top of her head now, so he stared at her hazel green eyes, getting lost in her gaze. She was staring right back at him with the hints of a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. They were engrossed in each other's features while ‘Howlin’ for You’ played in the background, it was the claps and cheers that brought them back to where they were.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

About half an hour after The Black Keys set had finished, they had left the festival and arrived at the location they were filming. The production crew wasted no time and scrambled off their small bus to start setting everything up, taking advantage of the last minutes of light the sunset offered.

After what felt like another half an hour later, the empty field was now filled with light panels surrounding a black vintage car that was going to be the main attraction for this section of the music video.

Ella went into full work mode right as she stepped out of the bus. She was no longer wearing Alex’s jacket, she changed it for hers as soon as she got in the bus to avoid any questioning, his sunglasses now hanging on the neck of her bodysuit.

She was running around checking on everyone, making calls to the actor who was on his way for the next section of the music video that they were recording tonight as well. The model, Cali, was getting her makeup done after having been put in a skin tight black latex dress with matching heeled boots.

There was so much to check up around that she was definitely sober now. She stood by the directors once the model was ready and she pointed her where to go.

As the directors were busy and everyone was focused on setting audio and cameras up properly, she went back to the bus to retrieve Alex’s jacket.

He was standing on the left side of the production setup, far away in the shadows smoking a cigarette. The rest of the band stood looking as well, only closer to the directors’ chairs. She made sure to make enough noise for him to realize she was there but not enough to disrupt the filming process.

When Ella reached his side, she lightly touched his arm and he turned to her smiling. “Thank you.” she mouthed to him and he just nodded, scared of getting scolded for making any noise that could somehow ruin the shoot.

Knowing she had to leave and be present at her job, she pointed backwards so he got that she was going back to Ben and Aaron’s side. He would’ve loved to have her beside him while they filmed but she couldn’t and she wouldn’t either, she was professional and he had seen that before. So he nodded once again and as he went to take the ashy stick out of his lips, he waved her goodbye.

The model was posing in front of the cameras, getting filmed by two of them when Ella made it back to her bosses’ side. Only ten minutes later they announced they had enough footage of that and they could move on to the next frame which included Alex and Matt.

She had to call them over and the stylists made sure to have them looking good and ready before they stepped into the car. Alex took over the driver’s seat, Matt in the backseat of the car along with Cali.

A speaker they had brought along blasted the song they were filming for, ‘Black Treacle’, and she had to bite her tongue not to sing along.

The directors wasted no time in recording the new shot. Alex mimicked driving while he sang the lines he had composed, acting very confident and collected as he stared up front like there weren't two big cameras up on his face.

In great comparison, Matt sat with Cali on his lap, acting like she was getting off with him; his hands wandering up and down her sides, one of them grazing her ass.

Ben called cut about five minutes later, making Cali take place beside Matt once again. Ella was instructed by Aaron to retrieve something from the production design table, a Lyle’s black treacle can.

The main camera on Alex’s face still rolling as the two behind him listened intently to the instructions. Alex took the time to mess around in front of the camera, lifting his hand up and showing the middle finger to it, to then raise his index finger and make it a peace sign. He put his hand down to, seconds later, bring the peace sign back up, this time slightly puckering his lips up to the lenses.

She came back with the item in hand and Aaron thanked her before swiftly placing it on top of the car’s dashboard, perfectly subtle in the shot. Ben finished with his instructions and went back to Aaron’s side, calling the other camera men to start rolling again. And after another fifteen minutes of Alex’s fake driving and Matt��s fake makeout, the scene was wrapped up.

The two musicians made it out of the car; Cali followed close behind, but walked over to the makeup team where she could sit. Alex spotted Jamie and Nick standing beside Ella, who had her usual blue clipboard held tight to her side.

Jamie smirked at his drummer friend and was quick to tease, “Look at you Helders, getting all the action.”

Ella grinned at the comment before adding, “Yeah, isn’t that meant for the lead singers?” her gaze playful on Alex now, seeing his smirk as reaction to her comment.

“Oh he would love that, just with someone else I’m sure.” Matt trailed off, looking at Alex and then back to Ella.

Alex’s grin faltered at his friend’s statement, his face going slightly pale at the very obvious glance he had given the American girl, one that Ella hadn’t even noticed since she was preoccupied at how he had reacted at the mention of that someone else, feeling a pitiful sinking of her stomach.

“Matt, I swear I’ll kick you if you talk too much.” Alex quickly threatened through his teeth, staring sternly at his friend missing her brief frown.

Ella was quick to clear her throat, bringing an act up and stupidly trying to pry information on who that someone else might be, to settle the fact that everything that had happened today had been nothing to get excited about. Or maybe he was just flirty and she felt dumb for feeling special about the way he acted with her.

She internally laughed at herself for being pathetic and getting her hopes up for getting his attention for a day, she had to remind herself of what was reality. He was a rockstar and she was just a PA. He was constantly touring the world and she stayed in California. He could have anyone he wanted and she was just another girl.

Cursing herself for feeling so down over the comment she forced out a chuckle, “Oh, who’s the girl that has caught your eye? Is she a model as well?”

Alex whipped his head around to look at her, his features coated in confusion. He automatically saw through her, the way she was fiddling with her pen and the lack of authenticity behind her grin, her eyes showed the slightest bit of disappointment. He softly grinned at the thought of it meaning that she found him attractive and liked his company too, but his heart sank as he saw how Matt’s comment had rubbed off the wrong way on her.

He turned back to Matt and scolded him, “Helders, just shut up.”

His need to keep Matt quiet about the matter made her evening bitter, the thought of seeing herself as a fool only cutting deeper inside her. Jamie and Nick laughed, Matt pressed his lips together in amusement, all whilst Ella had to fake another laugh but failed at making it sound real.

Aaron called her up this time, her feet quickly taking her to her boss without even saying bye to the band since she just wanted to get away.

The crew had to put up a bonfire now, so a group of six people started gathering what they would need. The car was moved to the side by a crew member, getting the space free to make the brick circle in which they set the tinder and kindling wood, and then formed a teepee of firewood over it. Ella threw three matches and started the fire, the flames growing taller as the seconds went by, warming everyone around the site.

In fear of the fire burning out too quickly because of the wind, they started rolling the new scene soon after the flames came alive. The whole band was instructed to come in front of the burning wood, and they were filmed standing around it for only five minutes as they grew too hot, too soon.

With a few minutes to cool down, Matt was called in front of it again, to pose for the camera just to have those visually pleasing shots. And lastly it was Alex’s turn. He looked angelic, contrasted to the hell-like heat that burned; his leather clad back facing the camera, all Ella could see was the way the flames outlined his body frame in a way she just had to capture. She placed her clipboard between her legs and was quick to pull her camera to her eyes after turning it on. She took the picture and after advancing the film, quickly turned the device back off, feeling the weight on her neck again but satisfied by immortalizing such a moment.

He was hypnotic to her. The way he moved, the way he talked, the way he looked. Everything he did was smooth and magnetic, and she couldn’t peel her eyes off of him.

She was too enthralled by the singer that she didn’t notice how Matt had caught her taking the picture. He smiled at the sight and at how her shoulders slumped after she had pressed the shutter as if relieved to have caught the perfect frame.

He wouldn’t say anything to her about it but he wanted to make her know he’d seen it happen in a subtle way. So he approached her slowly and once beside her he asked, “Enjoy film photography much?”

Ella turned to see him, wide eyed and flushed but cleared her throat knowing there was nothing she could do if Matt had seen her actions. “A lot, yes. I started back in freshman year of university. Learned quite fast since I took a lot of pictures in frat parties,” She chuckled at the memory, “You become quite popular and invited to each and every one of them when you are recognized as the photographer.”

Matt hummed in response, “I got into photography in college at 16, around the same time I got into the drums. It was mainly because we just had access to cameras and we also had a dark room to develop our own pictures.”

She was slightly surprised but her smile quickly made an appearance on her face. She hadn’t genuinely smiled in a good fifteen minutes. “That’s sick! I’ve always wanted to have a proper dark room to develop. What camera do you use?”

“A Canon Canonet and I love it but I think I might get a Leica next. It’s just hard to let go of the first camera you fall in love with, isn’t it?”

Ella giggled as she nodded, “It really is.”

“Can I give yours a look?” Matt asked, genuinely curious about her gear and she nodded with enthusiasm.

She handed him her Minolta X-370, telling him how she had started in digital when she was in highschool before she saved up enough to get a second hand Olympus OM-10 in university and that was when she had fallen in love with analog photography, that had only led her into a massive spiral of film photography which was now one of her true passions along with videography.

Ella let him take a few shots, telling him how many shots she remembered to have left on the roll and she loved being able to bond with him over photography.

Alex was a few steps away from them when he saw them standing next to each other, sharing a high five. Her arm was on his shoulder while he held her camera in his hands and something inside Alex stung. His jaw tightened but seeing her smiling big after what had happened before made him loosen up again, stubbornly grateful for his friend for bringing back the sight.

The singer cleared his throat and they both brought their eyes up to him. “Hey mate. Was just telling Ellie how I’ve been into film photography since we were 16 and she let me give her camera a go. Can’t say I’ve ever used a Minolta before.” Matt explained, seeing the obvious unsettled feeling his friend was showing.

“Now that I know you take film, promise me you’re gonna send me your scans.” Ella pointed at him seriously, “The pictures you get while on tour must be stunning.”

Matt chuckled and gave her back her camera, “They are. I’ll send you some later.”

A tiny shriek came from her as she hugged Matt briefly, “Okay, I’m going to check on Ben and Aaron now, see you in a bit.” Her steps were fast, making her miss the sigh Alex left out after her abrupt goodbye.

A few minutes later, she had received a call from the actor telling her that he was at the place, so she met up with him and brought him over to get ready. It didn’t take long for the man to be in his costume which consisted of some jeans and an orange flannel.

Taking advantage of the energy they all still had, they didn’t waste more time and drove to a gas station that had allowed them to film, a mile away from them.

Once there, everyone took out their equipment and settled for the filming to resume. Matt had to act like he beat the man up in exchange for his clothes, since the drummer was playing a fugitive who still wore that typical inmate orange jumpsuit.

In the middle of the filming, Matt had started complaining about being hungry and not subtly commenting how good the food from the place crossing the street smelt like so Ella was sent over to the tiny restaurant and came back in record time with a big burrito in her hands.

Matt thanked her and went straight for it, the camera even catching him eating while he was supposed to be in character, driving Alex and Cali. She was sure the editing team would still use the shots though, since they looked so natural and weirdly accurate for the plot.

When the drummer came back out of the car, munching on his food, Ella took the chance of teasing him. “You know, you look like a proper southern dad. A farmer dad.”

Jamie and Nick doubled over in laughter, “Oh my god, he does!” exclaimed the bassist in laughs.

“Mate never move to the south of the states and have kids, it isn’t a good look.” Alex added, struggling to keep the laughs inside.

“You’re all jealous because I’m the main character now.” stated Matt, which earned him multiple head shakes and sneers.

Ella snorted, “Trust me Matt, no one’s jealous of that look.” And with that, laughter rained up on the group.

Their amusement was interrupted by Ben wrapping the evening up, signaling everyone on the Focus Creeps crew to pack up and fit everything back in the bus.

They drove up to the hotel the band was staying at, Aaron having managed to get rooms at the same place for a night.

At the lobby, the crew separated into groups and made a line to retrieve their keycards. Everyone with a backpack on their sides and a tired look on their faces. The British men were far too tired to wait until they were done, deciding to just say goodbye right there and go to their rooms.

Alex went up to the directors, shaking their hands and saying goodnight. The rest of his mates doing the same, and despite wanting nothing more than to hug Ella goodnight, he had to settle for waving her goodbye just like he did everyone else.

She gave him a shy smile and a tiny goodnight that definitely didn’t reach his ears. And with that he went to the elevators, eventually passing out in his bed with her on his mind.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

They had a good night of sleep, despite having to wake up early to have breakfast and check out as soon as possible. They should be arriving at Los Angeles before one in the afternoon, and with a six hour drive ahead of them, they needed to fight the clock.

Her brain had been swarmed by thoughts and she cursed her tendency to overthink for keeping her up longer than she had wanted to.

Ella knew people had noticed how close she was with Alex throughout the day and she knew questions were coming but the palms of her hands still clammed up when multiple people approached her in the lobby wanting to know details on the situation.

She had denied everything, swearing none of them felt any type of way towards the other—even though she knew she’d let her hopes rise up and it had ended up poorly for her. She denied having kissed him when they asked her, even if she’d been thinking about how that would feel all day.

She told them all how he was flirty with everyone, it was his personality so they shouldn’t think anything else about it. She was glad half of them shut up after that, the other half smirking at her, calling her lucky or mocking her words as if to say she was full of shit.

Ella got ready and had breakfast quite early, pinching an Advil from one of her coworkers for the slight headache she’d woken up with this morning. Today was packed: they’d be driving back to Los Angeles and basically recording the whole day, for as long as the sun decided to stay up; so she really needed this headache to go away.

They ended up loading the bus and heading off back to LA before it hit eight, managing to arrive at their location a little bit over one in the afternoon.

It was good that the crew was quick and effective, setting everything up in less than twenty minutes, enough time to have Matt ready and Breana, the new model, getting her hair and makeup done as well.

They were propped up inside an abandoned police station in the middle of the desert. It had a couple of jail cells, a tiny medical wing and some offices for the staff that used to work there.

Right when the cameras were ready to go, Ben had Alex walk through hallways to be recorded like that. He was wearing his typical jeans and leather jacket, with a simple shirt but always loyal to his sunglasses, even indoors. Matt was in one of the cells wearing an inmate jumpsuit, being filmed by two people and guided by Aaron.

She was running everywhere, being needed for small things every five minutes, even having to leave the premises with one of her coworkers to retrieve the rental car they had gotten that was the same make and model from the one they had used in San Francisco the night before.

Ella smiled at Alex when they made eye contact as she made her way to Ben. “Rental is here, we have Breana ready in the wedding dress and Aaron is still over there with Matt, I don’t really know how much he’s got left.” she informed her boss, to have him make the decision on what to do next.

Ben nodded and thought for a couple of seconds under the gaze of multiple people, “Let’s go ahead and do Breana’s shots outside while Aaron finishes up with Matt.”

“Alright, I’m gonna let him know.” just as fast as she said that, she left.

Alex knew that after Matt’s comment on set, she had retrieved back into that shell of hers. He wanted to know why, not trusting himself to come up with his own answers. The one thing he knew is that he’d try to make her feel better today, in any way he could. He’d just have to trust he’d have his chances.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

His luck had run out, or that’s what he thought had happened as he had no chance of talking to her at any moment throughout the day.

When she was free to talk, he was being filmed. When he was given the light to stand back behind the cameras, she was outside filming with Ben and Breana. When he could see her coming inside the building, she was way too busy for him to try and approach her. When they all went outside to join the other part of the crew, he had to go in the car to film with Matt and Breana.

Ella was on full work mode, it was hard to believe she was fighting a resilient headache that hadn’t died down even after the pills she’d taken. She was constantly asking Breana if she was alright, knowing she had to be somehow uncomfortable in a big wedding dress, in the middle of the desert under the blazing sun. A total of four water bottles is what the model had gone through, and Ella was slightly concerned as she was on her fifth bottle herself and she wasn’t the one running for the camera.

Ella trusted her though. Breana, or Bre—how she had told Ella she could call her—, was so nice to her. She had been making her laugh in between takes and she was grateful for the lovely distraction being the model and not Alex.

Maybe, she thought, I can get used to not being distracted by Alex and keeping it professional if I keep busy enough.

Now, after hours since Aaron and Ben had decided to wrap up on the desert scenes and they had all gone to a new hotel close to where they were filming the next day to shower, the whole group had followed someone’s suggestion on a bar nearby and they were surrounded by very American decoration—too neon for her tired eyes—and the constant chatter and clinking of glasses against each other.

The thuds of balls hitting the pool table’s wooden borders were surprisingly loud over the old juicebox machine that was playing some country song she could remember listening to on the radio when driving around the countryside at six years old in her dad’s truck.

Places like this brought her back home, and she found herself rubbing her fingers over her little cowboy hat on her arm while she took sip after sip of her rum and coke, absentmindedly nodding along at her coworker's story from her sister’s bachelorette party.

“Thank God her best friend didn’t end up calling those strippers or my grandma would’ve fainted and made her kick her out before the evening was over.”

Taking that as a cue, Ella straightened up and excused herself to go over to the bar for a refill. The place was fairly busy for a Sunday night, so instead of going back to her friends while she waited for the bartender to take her order, she leaned on the side of the bar’s varnished wood countertop.

“Excuse me.” She heard someone say softly to the couple talking to her right, they nodded towards the person and stepped aside to give him some space.

Of course she didn’t need to turn to see who it was, Alex Turner himself was standing beside her, looking as handsome as ever and smirking down at her.

“Fancy seeing you here.” he greeted, his smirk only growing when she rolled her eyes and blushed.

“Hey Alex,” her voice was soft and if he wasn’t right beside her, he could’ve missed her words. “You enjoying yourself?”

She was adorable, going all shy, and Alex felt slightly bad for coming over with the intention of being explicitly flirty with her but he also wanted to shoot his shot and see her reaction. “It’s been good so far. I actually came here to tell you something.” he left his words lingering in the air and she frowned at the mysteriousness of it all.

He was still smirking though, so it was confusing her a little, “What’s up?”

“I think there must be something wrong with my eyes,” he started and she got a tiny bit closer to see right into his eyes so she could see if he’d gotten anything in them, but he caught her off guard with what he said next, “I can’t seem to take them off of you.”

Ella could feel her cheeks burning up, her jaw had fallen slightly and she almost let out a scoff in disbelief. She ended up laughing as she shook her head, “How much have you had to drink?”

He shrugged and completely evaded her question, “I mean it.” Truth is he had only had two pints of beer, he wasn’t even drunk.

She was sure it was impossible for her cheeks to go redder but they had and she felt them hotter than ever, “Oh Alex, stop it.” she stared at the ground and shook her head.

The bartender caught her attention then and she got another glass, filled almost to the rim. She tipped the man good for the generosity, she really needed the liquid courage if Alex was saying shit like that to her.

But before she could keep the conversation, he leaned into her ear and with his arm snaking around her waist and said “See you around Ella.” and with a gentle squeeze of her side, he left her there, blushing and breathless.

Fucking hell, so much for keeping myself distracted from him.

Thirty minutes later, she felt like she was in those movies where you get stuck in the same day, over and over, because Alex was by her side once more while she waited for the bartender to make his way around to her.

She turned to her side to face him and before she even had the chance to say something he gave her another flirty line, “Serious question,” she nodded at his fake appearance of curiosity, already feeling her cheeks turning crimson by whatever he was going to say, “How does it feel like to be the most gorgeous girl in the room?”

Ella was expecting a pick up line but not that pick up line and she definitely went bright red. She covered her face so he couldn’t see her like that but he had been staring at her face, he hadn’t missed the way she’d blushed even if he’d only seen it for a second before she’d use her hands to hide.

“Alexxxx” she whined, not knowing what else to say, because what could she say after that? She never had a clue of what she was supposed to respond to pick up lines and the fact that it was Alex saying them made it even harder to think. Not just a response, anything. Anything at all.

He hummed in satisfaction, smirking at her,“I like it when you say my name like that.”

Something inside her flipped and she felt a tingling feeling travel all throughout her body, specially feeling those words between her legs. She wouldn’t even dare to open her mouth, scared of the noise or whatever words that would come out so she stuck to shaking her head.

A few seconds later, she pulled her head back up from between her hands, “Do you always tell girls the same lines?”

He shook his head confidently, “No, I promise this is the first time I’ve ever told a girl that last one.”

Ella narrowed her eyes at him, “I don’t believe you.” He’s full of shit, there’s no way he hasn’t used that one before, she thought.

He grinned softly at her, as if to reassure her, “It’s a promise and I don’t break those Ellie.”

In the same second her name had left his lips, the thud of a glass being put on the table was heard. She slapped some ten bills on the side for the man who served her to take and she turned around to the singer to lift her glass up and down her double rum on the rocks.

He chuckled at her, as she wiped a drop of alcohol from her chin and licked the finger she’d done it with. “Okay, easy there Ellie.”

She was feeling a little bit braver by now, and still not believing him she dared him, “Don’t you have any cheesier lines left, Turner?”

He smirked, “Yeah, this one,” he cleared his throat and started, “Excuse me, I don’t mean to intrude, but you owe me a drink…” he took a pause, his facial expression dramatic as he put up a character to deliver the line correctly. Ella was expectantly waiting for the next bit, slightly growing impatient even if it had only been a pause of five seconds, “Because when I saw you, I dropped mine.”

She burst out laughing, not believing him for using that cringey line. “Has that one ever worked?” she asked between giggles.

He smiled amused at her laughter, “To be honest, I don’t think so.”

They both doubled over in laughter, the alcohol making the situation funnier than it was but she was laughing with him and that’s all that mattered, and as she stayed the rest of the night with him, talking and sharing drinks, it made him feel even more pleased. It was a feeling that stuck with him even after the rest of the band and some of the members of her crew joined them for the rest of the night.

After the short walk back to the hotel from the bar that she’d done beside Diana and Tyler, she went up to her hotel room. The night was quiet, hallways echoed at the slightest step you took and it felt like you could startle everyone awake on your floor when you closed the door to your room, but her brain was in a frenzy.

As she dumped micellar water on a cotton pad to take off her makeup, continuing with every step of her nighttime routine, it seemed like her mind wouldn’t shut up about the bar and Alex. Alex at the bar. Alex at the bar with her. Everything he had said at the bar. All the fleeting touches she could still feel on her skin.

Ella felt like screaming at herself, to shut it all up. She couldn’t get her hopes up for some cheesy pick up lines he could’ve googled five minutes before approaching her, for some hugs that maybe were usual for him to give around, for the behavior that maybe was his normal way to be.

He could be flirty with everyone.

She didn’t necessarily know him that well to tell if this was special treatment or if he was that way with every lady he got close with. And on top of it all, he had been drinking, and under the influence she was well aware people tended to turn more flirtatious than usual. Her older sister was living proof of that, and she shivered at the flash of memories that came to the front of her mind with that train of thought.

She pointed at herself in the mirror while brushing her teeth, her eyes stern and seemingly threatening. You either get a grip or you get someone to slap you into consciousness, she threatened herself and with a nod, she finished getting ready for bed. She only hoped that once she got in bed, sleep would get her as soon as her head touched the pillow.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

It hadn’t been like that.

Her brain did her dirty once again, and she kept herself awake for way too long overthinking. Just like she always did. Her days were a cycle of constant overthinking, that’s why she made sure to keep herself busy, or to keep a packet of cigarettes and her lighter always on her.

This new day was going to be just as exhausting as the one before it, only even harder due to the hangover she was sporting. She’d taken two ibuprofens first thing in the morning, chugged a bottle of water and put on some cheap black sunglasses she’d bought at a gas station on the last spring break she’d celebrated in Florida with her university friends that surprisingly had survived the wear of the years. Her film camera was hanging around her neck once again, making sure she’d have it with her since regretting leaving it in her backpack instead of taking it to the bar with her the night before.

They all drove to a house a couple of miles away from where they had stayed the night. Still out in the desert, the house was very rustic and had a giant backyard. There was a pool and outside of the fences that surrounded the property was an old stable, surrounded by old cars and a junkyard in which the owner seemed to like to play mechanic.

Bre was getting ready and her outfits for the shoot had Ella’s jaw dropping every time. She couldn’t deny how gorgeous Breana was, and to be honest she might even have a slight crush on the model but she wouldn’t do anything about it.

The day was going by smoothly. Aaron and Ben stayed filming with Tyler inside the house, most of the time the crew was kept to a minimum to keep Bre comfortable when she had to film half naked or topless.

Breana was a good sport though, very professional and keeping a straight face and in character even when Ella thought she’d feel vulnerable, because god knows that if she even had to be in her underwear in front of one single camera she’d be blushing and shaking non stop. Ella was in awe of how easy it was for Bre to strip down in front of Matt—who she’d just met the day before—and the rest of the people standing behind the scenes, and basically act like she was having sex with the drummer.

So Ella was running around as per usual but most of the time it was to have Bre be at her most comfortable state, getting her water when she needed it, handing her a robe if she asked for it, asking if she wanted anything in particular or if she was comfortable with the shot they’d just done.

When everyone came outside and it was time for Matt and Breana to be filmed messing around in the pool, Alex finally saw her behavior towards the model and he couldn’t help but silently laugh. Nick and Jamie confused as to what was the laughter for when Breana was topless diving into the pool now, they thought maybe it was funny because of Matt’s reactions to the model and that was the only conclusion they could get at while watching everything unfold in front of them.

When Ella made her way by Alex’s side and sighed, he chuckled under his breath. She turned to him and frowned, slightly confused at his reaction to her coming his way. “What?” she’d asked rather defensively but still lighthearted.

“I haven’t seen someone act like this since I was in primary school and someone had a crush on a girl from their class.” he smirked playfully at her.

She rolled her eyes, blushing at being caught for tending a lot to Breana. “Oh shut up, you can’t blame me. Look at her, she’s stunning.”

He didn’t take her eyes off of her though as he replied rather lazily, “Hmm, I guess she is.”

She turned to him slightly offended, “You guess?”

He rolled his eyes playfully now, “Okay yes, she is stunning.” He stated one more time but was still watching the American girl in front of him intently.

Ella hummed with a doubtful expression on her face while she frowned, “I thought so… Was starting to think you had some real trouble with your eyes then.”

He took the opportunity to bring yesterday back up then, “I tried telling you yesterday, you wouldn’t believe me.”

Something in her went hot and flipped at the same time, “You’re a tease, you know that Turner?” she nudged him with her hip, making him slightly sway to the side.

“I’ve been told that one too many times.” Alex smirked at her, nudging her back with his hip.

Ella had to force her jaw to stay in place, unholy thoughts making way through her mind and she knew she would go bright red if she kept looking at him while thinking of all the ways she could make him prove that.

She looked back to her front, seeing Breana come back out of the water and hugging herself. She cleared her throat and pointed to her right side, “I’m gonna get her a towel.” she muttered and a shit eating grin was plastered on his face from seeing her reaction to such a simple sentence.

As she left, with the slight sway of her hips and the sight of the high rise black shorts she had on and how they contrasted against her tan legs, he also had some unholy thoughts about how pretty she’d look in between his sheets.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Before the trip had happened, and the list was handed to her at the start of the month, Ella had suggested bringing a biker gang to record with the Monkeys. Because what’s more American than a biker gang.

Ben and Aaron had jumped on the idea straight away, and she made sure to find the friendliest group of bikers out there that were down to appear in the video posing as a dangerous outlaw gang.

An hour later since she had left Alex’s side, she had made her way back to where the band—minus Matt—was standing. “Okay so I have a surprise…” she said in a high pitch tone and with her hands clutching her clipboard tightly to her chest as she rose up and down on her tippy toes as if she wanted to jump on her place but was holding back from doing it.

Nick automatically matched her enthusiasm, “What is it?” he asked effusively and Jamie raised an eyebrow and laughed at his mate’s reaction.

“So I hired a biker gang for the video,” she paused and her smile got even brighter when she saw the three men respond positively to her surprise, “and you’re all joining them on the ride while we film.”

Jamie nodded excitedly, “That’s brilliant, thank you Ella.”

She almost screeched, “I’m so glad you liked the idea, for a second before coming here I got scared you all hated bikes or something.”

Alex shook his head, “We actually have ours at home.”

She gasped, “Oh really?!? Oh my god– Okay, okay, let’s go!” She turned around quickly, hoping they would follow her as she made her way to the big group of sixteen people on bikes that were waiting by the side of the big empty road.

The guys chuckled at her eagerness, and went behind her matching her quick pace. Once they reached the bikers, she made sure to introduce them all and thank them for coming and filming with the band.

She’s adorable, thought Alex.

Ben had gotten four bikes for the band, which were standing a little further behind the large group of bikers. Ella made sure to guide them to the vehicles, Matt already sitting on his with Breana sat behind him. They seemed quite cozy for the camera’s not to be rolling anymore.

As the guys chose their bikes, she turned on her camera. Alex was sitting on the bike he’d chosen, putting the helmet on and the leather gloves that were there as well.

Matt opened his mouth, seeing the perfect opportunity laid out in front of him so he asked in a tone that said he was up to no good, “Ella! Have you ever ridden a motorbike?”

She shook her head, “No, but they seem fun though.”

The biggest, most satisfied grin appeared on the drummer’s face then, “Oh I’m sure Alex would love to take you for a ride.” His tone so suggestive, Breana laughed harder than she’d anticipated, having to hide in Matt’s neck to lower the intensity of it.

Nick continued the teasing, “Alex likes a good ride, you’re assured to have fun.”

Jamie not even missing a beat before adding, “Or you could take her for a ride later if that’s what you both want, privacy and all.” The guitarist winked and she was as red as one could be, but she took her camera and used it as a prop to hide her blush.

In the viewfinder she found Alex flipping off Jamie and Nick who were standing on his right side by the bikes they had chosen. She focused the shot and pressed the shutter, rolling the film to have it ready for the next frame.

Alex turned to Helders then, taking his helmet off to talk. Instead of directing his words to his friend, he sent them to Breana, “I assure you Breana, it’s not gonna be a good ride so don’t waste your time.”

Breana laughed even louder, making Ella do the same and the guys exploded in laughter when Matt copied Alex and flipped him off. “Don’t listen to him Bre, I promise that’s not true. He’s just frustrated.”

“Well that sounds desperate now, Matthew.” Ella chatted back after gaining back some composure.

“No it doesn’t, I’m just saying… It’s not a veridic statement.” The drummer continued pushing his argument.

Jamie snickered, “You’re just making it worse there mate.”

Matt huffed, the bandana covering his mouth blowing at his action. “You know what? See ya’ later, dickheads!”

And with that and a shriek from Bre, he changed gears, pressed the pedal and went fast straight into the empty road.

Ella turned around after the cloud of dust had disappeared and looked at Alex who was squinting from the sun’s intensity and his lack of sunglasses on his face. She still had her camera on and in between her hands, so she snapped one last shot of him with his hair all messy from taking the helmet off and sweaty from the desert’s burning weather.

She advanced the film roll one last time before turning her camera back off and letting it hang on her neck. Nick and Jamie had put on their gloves already and were getting the helmets on their heads when Alex spoke up.

“So are you hopping on or not?” his hands were resting on his spread thighs and she had to force herself not to get distracted by those legs and look up to his face.

“I don’t know… Ben and Aaron might need me and I–”

“They won’t say anything if I explain how I’d refuse to get in the shot if you weren’t riding with me.” he shrugged nonchalantly while she was blushing once again. “C’mon, I wanna be the one that gives you your first ride.” he said innocently, no suggestive undertone.

She raised her left eyebrow and replied, “You wouldn’t be the first one.”

“But you said–?” he continued, confused until he saw her face and realized what she meant. He smirked at her sudden boldness, “Well then, we shall see how well you ride.”

And just like that her boldness was snapped away and she blushed harder. Keeping her stare at the ground as she took her steps over to him and the bike, she reached to grab the helmet Matt had left behind and she put it on carefully under Alex’s gaze. Moving her camera to rest on her left side rather than on her stomach.

Carefully she sat behind the singer, not really knowing what to do with her arms. He saw her hesitating hugging him by the waist so he encouraged the action. “Just hold onto me alright? I promise I won’t go too fast.”

She hummed at his promise, scooting a bit closer to his back so she was pressed into him. Her hands clasping each other around his middle was a sight that made him smile hard under his helmet.

When he revved the engine of the bike, her hold got tighter and he laughed at the tiny shriek she let out. “Don’t worry, I got you Ellie.” He squeezed her right thigh briefly in reassurance, and with the thought of how natural it felt to do that with her, he changed gears and started driving.

They rode the bikes for about twenty minutes, mainly following the same path as the bikers. The cameras followed them and she was living for the thrill it gave her. The day hadn’t finished, yet she couldn’t wait for the next time she’d get to ride a bike.

Taking a break in a long dirt field, Matt and Alex stood up from the bikes, Ella still sat on Alex’s but without her helmet now. Alex’s helmet had taken over his seat and they were all smoking Ella’s cigarettes.

Both musicians had teased her for her selection of cigarettes, “Really Ella? You couldn’t get more American.” Matt had said the second he saw the turquoise Natural American Spirit cigarette pack.

Alex giggled, “What does organic cigarettes even mean?”

She excused herself blushing like she always did. “It means the tobacco is organic,” she rolled her eyes, “but okay, let me be, I just wanted to try them. A friend recommended them to me but I’m waiting to finish this pack to go back to my Marlboro reds. I miss them.” she sighed letting the smoke out of her lungs.

Matt continued to tease, “Organic cigarettes…” he shook his head smiling, knowing that he was pushing Ella’s buttons even more.

“Okay Helders, you know what? Just shut up, I’m never sharing smokes with you again.” she scoffed, not annoyed entirely but she was teasing him as well.

“Good for me if I can avoid whatever this is.” he said waving the half burned cigarette.

She rolled her eyes once more before taking a long drag of her cigarette and then tossing it on the ground and quickly stepping on top of it. “Whatever,” she pulled her camera that was still resting on her side and turned it on, “pose for me idiots, lighting looks good here.”

They stayed where they were, chuckling but turned to look at her. Alex took a drag of his cigarette and Matt just stood there with the bandana around his neck now rather than covering half of his face. After she pressed the shutter once, she used the lever to roll the film and took one last picture. She turned it back off and waited for the men to finish smoking.

And right there her thoughts were once again all taken by Alex. She knew smoking was bad—hell, her mom had given her a huge lecture when she’d first found her smoking on a picture in Facebook, telling her all about how your lungs would slowly die and she’d get cancer if she kept that up. She knew it was true but she still rolled her eyes, she’d grown with the smell of burning tobacco from how her dad would always have at least two a day, what did she expect?

But it truly seemed like smoking didn’t do anything but good to Alex. He looked so especially hot to her when he was smoking. And she swore he could be the example of the arguments to fight the debate on smoking, in favor of the scientifically proven murderous addiction.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The day had gone on, Ben and Aaron didn’t say much about her riding in the back of Alex’s bike. She’d been nervous when approaching her bosses to ask if there was anything she could help with, but she was surprised when they just told her that the bikers scenes had been amazing, they thanked her for the good idea and managing to get such a cool group of people to work with.

She was elated to say the least, a weight lifting off her shoulders at the lack of trouble. She still had had to deal with the curious looks from multiple people on her crew but she was getting used to them now and she had been learning how to ignore them.

One of the last scenes they filmed was of Matt and Breana getting off on top of a UK flag. A fire was burning on a metal barrel beside them, the flames contrasting perfectly against the pitch black surroundings and setting the mood for the couple being filmed.

She wasn’t sure what she was feeling, she just knew Matt and Breana were hot together and she was holding her jaw closed with a bit of struggle. The band was standing with her, Nick and Jamie to her left and Alex to her right. The singer had told his two bandmates about her crush on Breana so that they would keep an eye on her behavior around her throughout the day, so while they were all watching the scene, they’d take turns to look at Ella and the poor job she was doing on trying to keep her reactions neutral.

After what felt like an hour but had only been half of one, Ben had wrapped up the production officially and everyone clapped to themselves and their hard work. Breana was called over by the costume and makeup department and after giving Matt a kiss on the cheek, she left him to get changed. The drummer spotted his friends and made his way to them with a satisfied smile.

But before he could say anything, Ella talked. “Helders, you did a good job… you lucky bitch.” she added that last bit sounding jealous, leaving the man confused.

Alex laughed, “She is a bit too jealous of how close you got with Breana, she’s got a slight crush on her.”

Nick snorted, “Slight? Not at all.”

Ella gasped, turning to Alex who was the only one who had caught her on her crush on Breana. “Alex Turner, you snitch!” she said through her teeth.

“C’mon you think no one would notice?” the singer said in defense.

Jamie aiding his friend and saying, “Yeah Ellie, you’ve been drooling.” The smirk on his face made her roll her eyes embarrassed.

Matt put an arm around Ella’s shoulders then, sighing in a fake defeated tone, “Well, who do I think I am stepping in the way of true love?”

She shrugged his arm off, “Piss off Helders.” she mumbled.

The drummer raised his eyebrows at her then, “You hang out with Alex for a bit and you start sounding British? I’m impressed.”

This time though, it was Alex who replied for her, “Helders… piss off, would ya’?”

Matt laughed, shaking his head and pointing towards Alex while looking at Jamie and Nick as if to say ‘get a load of this guy’. Jamie and Nick gave him knowing smiles, it was painfully obvious that he liked Ella and they were wondering where it would lead to.

Ella had excused herself and gone to help the production team pack everything back up. Keeping the chats with her coworkers to a minimum so she could finish sooner and so she could also avoid any talk about the band—well, Alex in particular.

Since it was a Monday and they had had quite a busy weekend, no one even suggested going out for drinks to celebrate, too tired to think about anything else other than their own beds. Ella had been too, but looking back to everything that had happened in just this weekend alone, had her filling up with a surge of energy that she was struggling to keep down.

Matt and Breana seemed especially affectionate after the production, talking to each other for the hour and a half it had taken for the Focus Creeps crew to fit everything back up on their bus.

Before everyone got to bidding each other farewell, Matt and Breana approached the directors and Ella.

“Ben, Aaron. Was just thinking here with Breana, wouldn’t it be fun if we went to Las Vegas for the day and filmed a bit there? We could get some good footage there.” He sounded very convincing, really trying to sell his idea. Not because he wanted to be filmed more, he’d rather be done with it already but he wanted to spend more time with Bre and Alex to have Ella’s presence for a little while longer too so if this idea would have them that, then so be it.

To Ella’s surprise, Aaron declined on the idea, “I’m tempted to say yes, but we need to go back and start editing and look over the footage just to see if we need to do any reshoots.”

Ben’s addition though was the one that gave her whiplash. “But Ella could go, and film you guys around like she did in the arcade. I know you all get along with her so I’m sure you wouldn’t mind just having her than the full crew.” His suggestion lingered in the air and everyone turned to look at her for an answer.

She opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out of it. Matt looked at her encouragingly, Breana was resting her chin on his shoulder and kept nodding at her to incite her to say yes. Ella sighed and cleared her throat, “Uhm, yes of course I’d love to go.” her voice sounded hesitant as she thought of how on earth she’d go to Vegas if her car was back at the office. “I’d need to go back to the office to get my car though…”

Matt clicked his tongue at her which made her blush, feeling silly. But what had been silly about her comment? How else was she going to go to Las Vegas? In a taxi? That would be worth at least half of her monthly income.

“You’re going with us on the tour bus.” the drummer replied, making her freeze.

“Are you sure?” she had to ask one more time, just to give him the opportunity to take back the offer but he didn’t.

“I am sure.” Matt said confidently, “Bre is coming with us on the bus as well.”

An oh escaped her lips, “Okay, well, erm… Yes, that’s fine by me then.”

Breana let out an excited squeal that made a grin break out on her face. And a minute later she was getting a bag with the camera she’d used at the arcade and a couple more things she could need throughout the day in Vegas.

With her hand clutched on the backpack carrying the filming devices and accessories, and with her other little backpack she’d brought over for the weekend, she walked up to the Monkeys tour bus.

The couple of the hour were there waiting for her and Breana leaped forward to hug her and link her arm with hers to walk into the vehicle. Matt said she could drop her things inside wherever she wanted and that they had enough bunks for everyone so Ella needn’t to worry about anything so she sighed a bit in relief.

The relief only lasted a few seconds since when Matt opened the door to the stairs of the bus, she realized she’d be spending the day with the band and in their environment. With Alex and in his environment. Fuck.

The nerves she had were overpowered by the loud cheering she heard when Breana and her stepped into the main lounge area of the bus. And when Matt opened one of the cupboards on top of the makeshift kitchen sink, grabbed a silver Patron tequila bottle and set it on the table in front of the band, she was weirdly excited and scared for what was going to happen on this trip.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: Vegas babyyyyy!!!!! I love me a Vegas fanfic moment so it was a blessing Evil Twin mv has Vegas clips in it. That's coming to you guys in a fortnight heheh. Any ideas of what will happen?? I hope these two weeks fly by because I'm hurting not posting the next part right now. Thank you so much for reading!! I hope you liked it and I love hearing any and all of your thoughts so please feel free to share them with me! Have a lovely weekend everyone, see you soon! xx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100​ @red---moon​ @kennedy-brooke​ @faveficz​ @indierockgirrl​ @ladydraculasthings @moonvr​ @unwantedlovergirl​ @eaglestar31

[inniave]

50/90 week one recap

one week into 50/90 and i'm already over 1/5th of the way to fifty songs! i've been feeling like shit this week and music has been a welcome release. i've loved listening to everyone's songs and seeing all the creativity!! <3

songs i wrote this week:

1. Wash Me Clean (demo)

2. Ennui (demo)

3. In Bed (phone demo)[private link]

4. Butcher Me (demo) [cw for domestic violence]

5. Night Glory None (demo)

6. Little Pink Slip Dress (demo) [cw for csa]

7. Ellis Attic (demo/sketch)

8. somata (phone demo)

9. What Mouse Mother Knows (demo)

10. U WERE WRONG (demo) [private link] [cw for csa, medical abuse]

11. Saint Masochist (demo) [dead dove lol idk what else u would expect ]

( these are all demos, some of them written & recorded in under an hour for skirmishes & many of them one takes; the point of 50/90 (for me personally) is to just make something and move on quickly; private links are songs that aren't available unless u have the link; lyrics should be on sc for all of them i think; album art is my own unless otherwise stated <3 )

p.s. it's not too late to join meeeeeeeee (and a bunch of other people!!!!)

[daisymae-12]

get to know me

I'm a lil late, but thanks for the tags @14carrotghoul @happiness-of-the-pursuit @suseagull04 @heybuddy-drabbles @read-and-write- ❤️ loved reading all your answers!!

name: mae

sign: Capricorn

time: 10:26pm

ok putting the rest under a cut cause I always end up typing more than I expect 😂

favourite band/artist: I love a lot of bands/artists but Troye Sivan is the only one consistently in my spotify wrapped every year so I'll go with him 😂 (he just dropped a new album too which I've had on repeat lately)

last movie: thought it was barbie but just remembered I was watching the little mermaid live action during a few dinners a few weeks ago but never finished it whoops (I will finish it one day)

last show: 911 Lone Star (but only the Tarlos parts 😂) I did promise my friends I would try love is blind but a part of me is regretting that promise because I ceebs 🥲

when I created this blog: a couple of months ago just for RWRB fandom purposes 🌞

other blogs: my original personal blog from 2009 still exists 😬 stopped using it in 2013 though. Made a new one in 2014 for fandom things but stopped using it in 2016 😂 I've also got an art one that I used from 2016-2019 😅 then came back 4 years later to make @rwrbficrecs lmao so yeaaah I've been on tumblr for a while 💀

do I get asks: when there's an ask game going around, but omg there's still some nice day asks haunting me in my inbox, I'm a terrible procrastinator 😭

average hours of sleep: 7-8ish (I use night contacts so the hours I sleep literally dictates how clear my vision is going to be the next day and I hate it when it's blurry so I will always aim for a full nights sleep for that reason only 😂 occasionally I'll sacrifice good vision to read a fanfic late into the night though haha)

instruments: piano 🎹 but the last time I learnt an entire piece was 2009 - my attention span is really shit 😅 it drives my husband mad that when I play it's just parts of songs LOL

him: "what happened to the rest of the song?" me: "don't look at me"

what I’m wearing: pj's (tshirt + shorts)

dream job: artist/illustrator - which tbh is already my usual job (i'm on a year off atm) but it's very hard to make it a financially stable job, I'm just very very lucky that my circumstances allow me to do it at all 😅 So my dream job would be artist with financial stability please 😂 also there was a time I thought I'd love to be a wedding photographer until I did it ONCE and was like "I definitely don't have the stamina for this", so I didn't do it again 😬 I got wet from the rain, my cameras got wet, I was hungry as fuck, everything just hurt and it was very stressful 😂 big respect to wedding photographers LOL That was fun way to procrastinate 😂 I'm late so not sure who's already done this. love learning more about people, but no pressure as always: @myheartalivewrites @celeritas2997 @dot524 @gwiazdziarka @darwinsfinchesx @raysletters @cha-melodius @cultofsappho @rmd-writes @littlemisskittentoes @affectionatelyrs @pragmatic-optimist @lizzie-bennetdarcy @tintagel-or-cockleshells

[hattywatch]

J. Vesey - July for the Whole Year 4

A/N: Chapter 4. Tell a friend to tell a friend. Comments, critique, and conjecture encouraged. Jimmy's looking so fine these days y'all. NYC agrees with him.

<< Chapter 3

March 2020

Jimmy: The season is going to pause, wish I was back in ny. We’d have nothing but time to catch up on GoT now.

Like I’d let you in my bubble. 

Jimmy: Who are you kidding, I’m the best bubble partner. 

No comment. :P

______

April 2020

Do you have toilet paper, should I send you some? You never remember until it’s too late.

Jimmy: lol, my mom sent me some. Good looking out. 

______

“I’ll tell you when to hit play! Don’t hit it without me!” It’s makeshift for sure, but you figured out how to watch Netflix together over video chat. Everyone has been going crazy over this Tiger King show and there’s literally nothing else to do, so what’s the harm. You haven’t seen another human in about two weeks, save when you went to the grocery store to pick up some essentials for Mr. Callahan and he waved at you as you left the package outside his door. Even that was exciting contact. Plus you’re missing Jimmy extra.

“I cannot believe you talked me into this. This looks like the dumbest thing I have ever seen.”

His laugh, you’ve missed that laugh so much. Your cheeks hurt as your smile stretches, “I miss you so much.” You don’t mean the words to blurt out like they do; honest and out there for him to hear, read into, draw conclusions from. 

Jimmy’s face is a welcomed sight, so your smile doesn’t even falter when he pokes at you. “Oh my Godddd. Shut up! You get to pick the next one. Probably going to make me watch something Boston, so I have to listen to that terrible accent for hours on end.”

______

“Yeah, me too. Like a limb,” his smile is a little soft, a little sad, but he’s Jimmy and he’s notoriously stoic, so he straightens up on his couch and grabs his remote, “Alright, let’s get this over with.”

 

May 2020

Who do we cheer for now, Brady, Kevin? An unknown third party?

Jimmy: I’m gunna flip a coin. Tampa looks good though, hate to say it. 

Gross.

______

October 2020

Jimmy: You gunna to visit me when the borders open back up? It’s pretty cool up here, I think you’d like it. 

Only if you’re paying for Tim Hortons. 

Jimmy: Not with this contract.

______

December 2020

Jimmy: Did you get a package 👀👀

I have to check the mailroom when I get home, why?? Did you buy me something! 🙃

Jimmy: Maybe. Keep an eye out.  

______

As soon as you get in the building you rush to the mailroom and it’s there. A plain brown Amazon box, but when you open it, there's another box inside, shabbily wrapped in blue paper, tied in a white ribbon. 

You snap a photo and send it to Jimmy, 

It's here! Proud of your wrapping tbh!

Tucked under the ribbon, you start with the envelope, pulling out the Christmas card. It features a cartoon Santa proudly proclaiming "I hear there's some Hos in this house?" shaking a judgmental finger at the naughty list in his hand. 

Jimmy's tight, sloppy handwriting covers the inside of the card and your smile grows, happy he thought of you enough to fill the left panel of the card entirely with a handwritten message. 

When you finally tear the ribbon off and the paper open you're not surprised to see the bright blue jersey with the Leafs insignia on it. You are slightly surprised that Jimmy's name is across the back and his number is on the sleeve. You're warm to your toes thinking about him branding you in this way, even if you also have Kevin's jersey in the back of your closet and have never had a second thought about Hayes being stitched across your back. 

(Y/n),

I thought you'd like this card, since I've seen your Spotify unwrapped and you've played this song more than any one person should. Freak. 

Here's a new jersey so you can remember who your favorite player is. I had to change my number, which sucks, but I can't have you representing Philly. That's gross and blue looks way better on you anyway.

I know I said I couldn't afford Timmies on this contract, but here’s a bag anyway. Their coffee is really good and I don’t know when the country will re-open so you can visit and get a real one. I got you plain, French Vanilla is superior though. Even if you disagree. 

We can’t have you embarrassing yourself at family skate again, so I hope these are the right size. Take them to the rink when it opens, have the blades sharpened and the skates baked. They’ll fit your feet better and they won’t hurt as much. Whenever I get to come visit we’ll practice.

Hope you like it, miss you. 

Merry Christmas, 

Jimmy

The skates do fit. He got you hockey ones so they’re chunky and black and not at all the sleek ice skating ones the rinks usually give you when you rent them. It’s so Jimmy that your heart skips at the idea of him spending time, thinking of a thoughtful gift, trying to figure out your damned shoe size, and wrapping the box alone in his apartment. 

You’re not sure when you started sniffling, but the card is damp from the few tears that have slid down your face and you laugh in spite of yourself. The distance definitely hasn’t made any of this easier. 

This is really thoughtful. I can’t wait to try them out. <3

Jimmy: You’re crying, aren’t you?

______

January 2021

Jimmy: Did you listen to this new Drivers License song yet? Seems up your alley. 

RED LIGHTS STOP SIGNS!!!

Jimmy: I’ll take that as a yes.

______

The phone only rings once before he answers. “Hello?” His camera is facing the ceiling, so you can’t see his face, but it looks like he’s eating lunch.

“Watch Bridgerton with me?” it’s not really a whine, but it’s a little pitchy. He heaves a sigh and he picks up the phone so he’s finally in frame, munching on his pizza. You continue before he has the chance to turn you down, “Please? Everyone at work is talking about it, it’s only 8 episodes, please? You made me watch all those Ben Affleck movies last year! I barely even complained even though Matt’s the better actor.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m off Sunday we can start it then,” he tears into a piece of crust. 

Smiling, you remind him, “You’re my best friend,” before you hang up and send him a calendar invite. 

______

March 2021

Jimmy: I take it back, you’d like Vancouver better. 

Missing me, Jimbo?

Jimmy: Maybe

______

July 2021

With restrictions eased up, you find yourself toying with the idea of a weekend trip to Boston. You’ve typed out about 60 messages to Jimmy telling him you may be in town, but you backspaced each and every one, because you’re a coward. 

You haven’t been in the same state in almost two years, stuck video chatting during lock down, which has become a weekly ritual that you haven’t dropped since the world began slowly opening back up. Still though, something about seeing him in person has your heart rate picking up and your palms sweating.

In the end you sleepily reveal it when Jimmy calls you to say goodnight.

Your phone jingled loudly in your ear, you could probably put it on silent while you slept, but then you'd miss these calls, Jimmy's profile picture smiling on your screen before you answer and clear your throat.

"Hey," you sigh into your pillow at the content feeling that blankets your body. 

"Hey, I'm walking home from the bar and I wanted to say goodnight."

"Okay, goodnight," you're quietly breathing into the phone, smiling to yourself at the sweet gesture. 

He laughs, "ooookay, you don't want to talk to me? You already asleep?"

"A little, but I always want to talk to you." You'll be embarrassed by your admission in the morning. In the dark it's just honest and you feel light saying it out loud. 

He's quiet now and you hear the cars passing him by as he walks. 

"I haven't seen you in forever," he trails off and your decision is practically made for you.

"I'm thinking about taking the day off Friday and shipping up to Boston for the weekend, but the hotels are so much money" you're slightly more awake now, nervous for some reason that you both will feel differently in person since it's been so long. 

He takes in a breath, "Do it. You can stay with me." 

"Okay," it's Jimmy, it's Jimmy, it's Jimmy- your heart thumps. No reason to be nervous. 

"Okay!" You can hear his smile through the phone and when you both hang up you slip easily back into sleep. 

______

Jimmy's laughter booms through your headphones, "What do you mean 'what if you don't recognize me?' We video chat like every day you know what I look like."

You're feeling silly and giddy and bubbly only 2 hours away from Boston according to your itinerary. 

"I should like, bring a red rose like Lorelei and Rory do in Gilmore Girls, just in case. So you know who I am." You look out the window in the train, watching the landscape blaze by. 

"Any excuse to bring up the fuckin' Gilmore Girls. I'm sure we'll be okay."

"I'm hanging up on you, you interrupted my music and now you're slandering the Gilmores. See you soon."

You cut off whatever he was about to say and hang up, cackling with delight as he calls you back immediately. 

"This is (y/n), how can I assist?"

"I can't stand you. When is 'soon?'"

"Two hours. You better be ready to eat. I'm starving."

"Okay, soon."

______

South Station is pretty empty, which you expected considering it's noon on a Friday. You try to call Jimmy but his phone goes to voicemail both times you call, so you stand and wait, knowing he'd never leave you hanging, so you find a bench and open your phone, scrolling through mindlessly. 

Someone sits down next to you so you slide a little to the left without looking up wondering if you should call Jimmy again, but the person clears their throat and shoves a bouquet of roses at you. 

Pushing them to the side you see Jimmy's smiling face. "I figured it's been a while, maybe one rose wouldn't do the trick if you forgot what I looked like."

In that moment, Jimmy smiling at you in a train station at 12 on a Friday, it takes everything in you not to lean over and kiss him square on the mouth. 

______

"So what do you want to do today?" Jimmy says around a mouthful of sushi. Between you and Kevin constantly shoving your rolls at him, he's by no means an aficionado, but he's come around. 

"I don't know. Last time I was here we did a bunch of touristy things," you pause chopsticks halfway to your mouth, "Show me Harvard."

Jimmy's too happy to oblige. 

The two of you pile into his Jeep and drive to Cambridge, stopping briefly to grab coffee. "I used to come here all the time," Jimmy places his order and lets you keep looking, "sit at that table and try to finish my papers before midnight. Is it weird that I miss it?"

"Not at all," you confirm. His eyes are fond and you're happy you're here to see this version of him. "Can I have the same?" You place your order to the young girl behind the counter, her glasses are wide and her chemistry book is sat next to her, pages face down, spine bent to save her place. 

"You're going to hate it, it's sweet," Jimmy warns, but you shrug your shoulders and nod to the barista to continue making your copy of Jimmy's nostalgic order. 

______

You spend your day traversing the campus, being suitably impressed by the history and slightly in awe by the IQs you're surrounded by. The art museum is a particular delight- full of classic Van Goghs, Degas, and Stieglitzes, but also housing fine Japanese art, Buddhist statues, and textiles you haven't seen before. 

He sidles up behind you quietly and you don't realize until he whispers, bent down and leaning over your shoulder, "Four years here and I never came in here. Kinda crazy."

Swatting him you answer, "Uncultured swine," and grab his hand to pull him to the next room.

It's full of earlier photography, and you stop in front of Stieglitz's The Glow of Night, depicting an empty street, glowing in the evening; only a few horse-drawn carriages sit in the distance under the glow of the streetlights. 

"I miss New York," Jimmy mumbles under his breath.

Your eyebrows raise, "You're Boston through and through, I can't believe you just said that outloud." 

He shrugs, "I love it here, I do. But I guess I miss the early years. Us and the boys, young and stupid." 

He sounds doleful and it stings your heart. "I think we all miss that," you reply gently, hand looping through his arm. 

"Do you think you'd ever move," it's close to the topic at hand, but a distinct deviation, so you think on it, staring intently at the photo in front of you. 

"I don't know. A few years ago I'd have said never..." Jimmy nods, seemingly content with your answer, but looks at his phone and notices the time. 

"C'mon. They're going to close soon, let's go home."

You're not home. 

You're about 200 miles away to be exact, but it certainly doesn't feel that way. 

______

Sunday morning you're sat in a hole in the wall getting breakfast with Jimmy. Your train leaves in the late afternoon and Jimmy's trying to pack as much into the day as he can, so you appreciate the quiet time at the table with him. 

He's fidgeting a little and you can't take it, a little on edge from the close proximity of the weekend. 

"Just take the bed!" He's not shouting but it's definitely as close as you've ever seen him to being short of patience. 

"No! You're letting me stay for free! I saved so much money not staying in a hotel, I'll sleep out here!" 

Jimmy picks up your bags and tosses them onto his bed. "Night! There's clean towels in the bathroom. Shout if you need anything." He gently pushes you into his room and closes the door behind you. 

His bed is plush and you snuggle in after huffing at your defeat, washing your face, and changing into your pajamas. You would have thought you'd fall asleep quickly, a long day of travel followed by a ton of walking typically tires you out, but you're in Jimmy's bed. 

You're in Jimmy's bed and it smells like him.

You're in Jimmy's bed and it smells like him and you're having a crisis. 

"Do you think you'd ever move?" His question replays in your mind. 

A few summers ago you told Gracia never, but you're not so sure that you couldn't be easily persuaded if the right person asked.

"You're ignoring me." Jimmy flicks your coffee cup. The tinkling noise pills you from your daydream and you shake your head. 

"Sorry, what?"

"I said," He repeats himself, "I'm a free agent in the fall… maybe I'll end up on the East Coast and we can do this more often…" he smirks, "you know, having breakfast and you ignoring me." 

Desperately you wish you were annoyed at his teasing, but you can't find it in you, "That would actually be awesome. Is that a possibility?" 

Stirring too much sugar into his coffee he looks optimistic, “Anything is possible.”

[laesas]

For fanfic ask game 👀, 🌝 and 🖊 please!

OMG I ended up writing so much for these that I'm gonna have to put the long answers under a readmore! But short answers:

👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?

KimKen dubcon interrogation... 👀

🌝 Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

Weirdly as of late: Chan! - I'm entering my Dilf 4 Dilf divorce era someone give me pre-canon ChanGun I'm begging.

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP.

Chay + Tankhun hours under the cut!!

Thanks so so much lovely!!

✨📝 Writers Ask Game 📝✨

💌Send me one here!💌

👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?

Soooooo. I there's only one fic that I've actually written up that won't ever see the light of day and that's the 4k or so of the initial ideas and concepts for the KimBig - Kim ended up coming across as more distrustful of Big than he is (because it's Big POV we dont get to see inside his head), and it ended up coming across as a little too "Vegas". While he's rude to Big in canon he isnt actually hugely distrustful; he's banking on Big serving Kinn over Korn to get information on Porsche and the potential mole(s).

I love the energy but it felt very 2-dimensional and I couldn't wrangle the context it to make it work. Plus I absolutely love the emotional vulnerability I've created in the KimBig 2.0 from Kim's perspective - it feels a lot more realistic. I realised if I wanted to use the first dynamic I'd definitely have to make it happen with someone Kim didn't trust at all (cue Ken).

So in short: The rework where it's KimKen - Kim suspects that Ken is the mole and goes all knife-to-throat femme fatale while accusing Ken of sleeping with Vegas. Which he is btw. But that's beside the point lol.

🌝 Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

Considering the rest of the content of my blog you absolutely could not guess this but yeah! Chan...........? the last few weeks I've suddenly been gripped with a bunch of swirling thoughts about his relationships with the three main family boys, with Big who also grew up in the household and how he's not allowed to pick a favourite bodyguard (big) or a favourite sibling (kim). Plus all the nuances of his loyalty to Korn and interactions with the minor household as well.

Chan + Vegas' dynamic particularly fascinates me! Vegas often uses english as a show of status: to include his family and exclude lower ranking bodyguards who are primarily thai speakers (eg. speaking english with macau at the dinner table, speaking english to Porsche and using weird idioms to throw him off balance). In ep 14 he pointedly says 'know your place!' in english to Chan. To any other bodyguard it would be another layer of pulling rank but Chan is acting on Korn's behalf and completely fluent in english so the effect is competely different, as is his response. There's a kind of implied superiority that Chan is immune to, both because of his proximity to Korn, AND because of his fluency in english. IDK if I've explained that well at ALL but there's something super interesting there ✨ Point being: Chan's english fluency vs Vegas' pointed use of english my beloved.

Also I joke about him and Gun giving "divorced" energy, but I feel like ChanGun has the exact same energy I love from KenBig but with even more hatefucking and complex ranks and loyalties. I am entering my Dilf4Dilf divorce era it seems. Rotating them in my mind as we speak.

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP.

I'm currently reworking the first chapter of my KimChay which starts with Tankhun and Chay bonding hours! Chay's trying to get Tankhun to let him learn self defence and Tankhun is deflecting.

“What-?” Chay says, momentarily distracted. Khun pounces. “Yes! Robots, I helped him build them, you know! It was like a video game! No need to learn fighting when you can shoot with the computer or make explosions from the safety of your safe room! They were so helpful when- Owh. I don't want to talk about it actually.” “When what?” “I’m bored of this topic now, it’s not interesting to me anymore.” “P’Khuuun,” Chay whines, hopping up onto the dresser and trying more and more ridiculous angles to lean himself into Tankhun’s eyeline as he dips and dodges around Chay’s encroaching face. Chay eventually gives up and grabs hold of his wrist, the way he does with Porsche, the way he did with-  Khun startles and tenses, wide eyed, milliseconds from snatching it away.  “Sorry-” Chay starts, removing his hands, but Tankhun’s arm stays frozen in mid air for a moment before he comes back to himself. Chay watches in the mirror as Khun settles his expression, when he’s satisfied he turns to look up at Chay. Level. His smile is soft but his eyes are blank. Chay’s seen that mask before. “It's fine,” Tankhun says quickly, it sounds clipped and strange. His smile is bright as a camera flash and gone just as quickly. “Could you- in my closet-” He frowns, “You should swap the jackets. You forgot one. I picked it out for you and you forgot it and now your outfit is all wrong. Go and fix it-” he clicks his fingers “Pol. Help him fix it now.” Pol nods, smiling at Chay and walking them back through the wardrobe doors. He beats Chay to the jacket and crouches to pick it up from where it was slumped on the floor. Chay reaches out to take it, suddenly desperate to leave and go back to Tankhun, to fix things, to apologise and tell him he was right and that the jackets do look better the other way around. Pol doesn’t let go. “Hold on, he needs a moment sometimes,”

It all ends up ok in the end! Tankhun is fine really!

In my mind Chay has very much latched on to Tankhun as a stabilising presence (which Tankhun has revelled in because very few people trust him that way). Tankhun is able to support Chay because he just inherently understands a lot of what Chay's going through, but because Khun is so overwhelmingly supportive, sometimes Chay forgets that the root of the understanding is that Tankhun is still traumatised too.

BUT it is fine. And crucially after he calms down, Khun doesn't let Chay shrink and go all apologetic and pliant the way he does when Porsche feels bad. Chay is allowed to feel bad for hurting Tankhun without that requiring him giving up all his autonomy and reasonable requests. I think that's a pretty important thing for Chay to learn - and that theme of autonomy becomes important in his conversations with Kim later!

THANKS SO MUCH FOR ASKING LOVELY LOVELY EGG!!

[deiliamedlini]

Happy 300 followers!! 🥳 first of all, I would like you to know that every single time I have sent you an ask, you have been so sweet!! You give off such good vibes! 💚 and your writing??? Omg?? It is SO GOOD like *chef's kiss* lol you're one of my favorite zelink writers, a treasure to this fandom, and you deserve many more followers!! Now, if I may 😂 I have this idea living in my mind rent free for ages: how about some zelink, modern AU, famous actor or singer!Link heavily flirting with hyrule's princess on live television. I hope it is not too specific? 😅

DO YOU KNOW WHO'S THE WORST? ME! I had this half done forever and then that's when I conveniently hit my writer's block! BUT I FINISHED IT! It's not quite what I had initially envisioned, but I wanted to make sure I got this done while my brain was working !! THANK YOU FOR THE PROMPT AND i"M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG

Also on AO3 if that's easier to read! (Some suggestive themes ahead but nothing crazy)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a moment when the jacuzzi jet stream hit Link’s sore muscles just the right way that he let out a sigh and sank deeper into the warm bathtub. Suds covered his mouth, and he blew them away with a small huff and ran his hands through his scraggly hair.

It was his first night actually at the hotel in… gods, it had to be a week. Night shoots and hours of being on set had left him exhausted, sleeping in his trailer, staying at friend’s rooms who were closer to the studio where they filmed The Twilight Realm, a popular television show that he was the male lead in.

If it weren’t a safety hazard, he’d have fallen asleep right in this bathtub.

Still, he couldn’t escape. His mind wasn’t blissfully empty; it was filled with pages after pages of memorized lines from his script. His ears still rang with the explosions from their pyro work on an exploding bridge today. His eyes burned from exhaustion and smoke and lights.

And still, tomorrow, he had a charity gala to attend.

A long yawn escaped him, and he grabbed the bath pillow and a glass of wine from the closed toilet seat and leaned back, trying to de-stress.

But it was a little difficult when that charity gala would be attended by none other than the Princess Zelda of Hyrule herself.

With a rueful look at his wine, he set the glass by the sink, tossed the pillow out of reach, and forced himself up, watching the water spiral down the drain almost hypnotically.

Only when it was all gone did he towel off, and throw himself onto the bed, passing out before he could even pull the comforter up.

The next thing he heard was a voice.

“Link, let’s go you’re going to be— OH! Link! What?”

His eyes creeped open at the familiar shriek of his best friend and cast mate, Midna. She flipped her red hair over her shoulder and pulled a pillow from under his head, letting him fall with a thud, before firmly setting the pillow on his lower waist. “I didn’t need to see this.”

“What? What’s even happening?”

“Do you know how late you are?” Midna chided, grabbing one of his suits off the hanger. “Get dressed.”

Finally, his eyes blinked open and he saw Midna leaving the room in a shimmering black gown.

A black gown.

The gala.

“Shit!” Link hissed, tossing the pillow off of him. There was a draft, and he chuckled seeing that in his exhaustion, he’d forgotten to put anything on. “Sorry, Mid!”

“Yeah, not like I haven’t seen your dumb ass before on set!”

Link slid a pair of sweatpants on so he could cross the room to return to the bathroom. Midna was pounding on his couch on her phone.

“Well,” Link scoffed. “It’s less embarrassing when I’m wearing a modesty sock, so I’m still sorry.”

“Accepted,” she sighed wearily.

Midna and Link had gone on one date before realizing their chemistry was solely on set and as friends, and since the popularity of the The Twilight Realm blew up to extreme proportions in season 2, he was so grateful to have Midna with him every step of the way. Even now, while filming season 4, the level of fame he had was still so wild to him. Grocery shopping in peace was a thing of the past and it was all online orders and deliveries if he wanted to have a day without feeling the flash of a camera in his eyes.

Link cleaned his face in the sink a bit haphazardly, leaving red marks everywhere before sighing at his reflection. Baggy circles under his eyes, tousled hair. He looked a wreck. But still, he brushed his teeth and returned to his room, dutifully donning the pressed suit and expertly knotting his tie before combing his hair out. In the limo would be their stylists to fix their hair and makeup before the red carpet, so he left it as it was.

“Look okay?” Link asked, coming out of his room with his arms wide to show his outfit off.

“Yes, sure, you look great. Come on, Beedle texted. They’re waiting outside.”

“Alright,” he muttered, fixing his cuffs as he grabbed his things back off the table. Nothing was ever put away. Nothing ever had to be. It wasn’t like he’d stay here long before needing to go to a new filming location anyway.

~~

Flashing lights, bulbs so bright his vision became tinged with blinding stars blocking out his vision.

He was used to this. It was hardly his first red carpet, and with his hand firmly against the skin of Midna’s back, he felt grounded, despite his lagging tiredness and barely functioning mind.

Face slack so he wouldn’t strain his jaw from smiling, he posed as perfectly as he’d been taught. His hair flipped in the way that had the internet swooning. He tilted his head in the way that won him “Sexiest Man in Hyrule” two years in a row.

He played yet another part of his to absolute perfection.

Little did they know that the famous actor struggled with back pain, crowds, and—thanks to the list of his ‘accolades’— several self-conscious body image issues.

At the table, food was served, and he politely excused himself when he’d finished the two vegetable portions from the food that was on his approved diet plan for his role on The Twilight Realm, and instead took his checkbook around, dropping checks off to a few people that he and his financial adviser had already written out in advance.

It was all so… normal.

When the plates were cleared away, he grabbed a merlot off a passing tray and skulked to the corner.

“Did you eat enough to drink that?” Midna asked, leaning beside him.

Link shrugged and took another sip. He had, but he certainly couldn’t wait to go back to the hotel and order something he actually could eat.

“See the Princess?” he asked, watching the blonde Princess Zelda of Hyrule daintily savoring a glass from her table, surrounded by armed guards and looking about as miserable as he felt.

“I do see her. No photography allowed in here,”she muttered, watching Zelda set her glass down to stand and wander, trailed by her guards. “How the facades fall when the public stops watching.”

“They’re always watching,” he scoffed, looking around to see a set of eyes of a gossiping group watching him and Midna as they conversed. Anxiously, he took a swig of the remainder of his drink and set it down, already looking for another.

The need to drop his mask for just a moment overwhelmed him, and he gave Midna a kiss on the cheek. “I need air. You okay if I ditch for a bit?”

“Oh, of course. Go! I have mingling to do anyway!”

“Thanks. You’re the best.”

“Tell me something I don’t already know.”

He winked before undoing the buttons on his tux and heading into the hallway. Security nodded at him as he passed, and he carefully moved past another set of suits who stood at the door to the terrace.

It was surprisingly empty. He expected it to be filled with any guests needing an escape or air, but he paid it no mind, preferring the quiet solitude he was so often denied as opposed to idle chatter.

With a relieved sigh, he threw himself down onto one of the outdoor sofas near a maintained firepit and groaned, closing his eyes in relief.

“Oh!”

“Shit!” he hissed, sitting up with a speed that would have called for a stunt double. Especially when his leg knocked against the flames of the fire, warming him with a far-too-close call, but nothing else. He swore before hopping away, brushing at his pant leg, looking up to see the last person he expected.

Princess Zelda of Hyrule.

His eyes bugged out. He’d just sworn and nearly fell into a fire in front of the princess.

Idiot.

Bowing low, he tried to shake off his nerves. “Princess!”

And then he saw her. Princess Zelda of Hyrule was watching him with a surprised look on her face from just behind a pillar where she leaned out against a railing. Her gown was long, the train was gorgeous. The embellishments alone cost more than Link’s paycheck, and he was well-paid. Long blonde hair cascaded down her back, still neatly styled with pins in an effortless look that had probably taken an hour. And her eyes; verdant greens alight with curiosity had him rapt immediately. The cameras really did lie: she was far more gorgeous up close and in person, and she was already beautiful on tv.

“I-I’m sorry, I thought I was alone out here,” he managed, rising from his bow just enough to catch the hint of a smile touch her lips before it disappeared almost naturally.

“How did you get past my bodyguards?”

“Your…?” he looked behind him, confused. “I…”

“Nevermind, it’s okay.” Her brows peaked. “Oh! You’re Link Faron! Wow! Um, hello! It’s nice to meet you.”

Shaking his head, it was almost unfathomable that the princess knew who he was. Not unreasonable, given the show’s popularity, but it was hard to wrap his head around. “No, the pleasure is all mine, Princess.”

“The Twilight Realm is one of my favorite shows. I’m… just a little star-struck.”

“Is it?”

“Yes, that, Into the Wild and—”

She cut herself off, her face flushing a bright red as she covered her mouth with a delicate hand, attempting covertness but failing.

“And?”

Her eyes glistened as she turned her head towards him, watching his deliberate steps. She'd already outed herself as a fan of not only him, but two shows when he'd showed everything off. His own face was red as he waited.

"The Bodyguard."

He bit his lip as he tried not to chuckle. A more serious role... where he'd fallen in love with the Princess he was protecting. A limited series with more sex scenes than the four seasons of Into the Wild combined.

"Our Princess has a type of show, it seems."

"And you have a type of role. It's not my fault you're a good actor."

He snorted, leaning beside her. "They don't hire me for my skill. They hire me for my ass."

"Well, who can blame them on that front at least," she muttered.

And then, eyes bugged once again, she clasped her hand over her mouth.

Link beamed at her, embarrassment and humor sending him onto a high. "Oh?"

"You'd think years of practice would afford me some grace, but I've simply fallen apart in the mere presence of you," Zelda laughed anxiously. "My apologies for that comment. It was crass and simply slipped from my tongue before I could stop myself!"

Link ran a hand through his hair and focused on her shoulder. A fine spattering of freckles caught his eye for far longer than he'd intended it to before it drifted to the strap that thinly drew more attention. And it was red. A pop of color that matched her lips, which he was dying in his attempts to avoid looking. "It's okay. I'm quite comfortable with the topic at this point. It's the modesty sock conversations that will still make me blush."

Zelda's brow scrunched, and he regretted his words immediately. Gods, had he just brought that up to the Princess?

And then, it got worse.

"A what? Socks?"

He licked dry lips. "Oh, just... it's... it's kind of like a sock that you use... to... well... it's...  it's not a sock. But you use it for... modesty." He glanced at her confusion and tugged on his bowtie to loosen it. "You put it on during sex scenes and nude scenes."

Zelda's eyes, for the third time, widened. "Oh! Oh, gods, I didn't know!"

"Did you just think we wandered around bare-assed, hanging out?"

"Yes!" she laughed, running her hands through her hair. "I always just thought you were  very confident in yourself."

"Hardly!"

"Really?" she asked skeptically. "With the way you look?"

"Would you strut around set with nothing on, Princess? For one as gorgeous as yourself, it would surely be easy."

Gods and godesses, why would he put that image in his mind. Why would he say that to a royal? What creature was possessing him?

"Mr. Faron--"

"Link."

"Link," she smirked, "You're far more amusing than you let on in pictures and interviews."

"Far more nervous, Princess. When I've imagined speaking to you, it was never about my full frontal nudity clause."

"Please, Zelda is fine. We've reached a level of personal conversation, at this point, that I believe you're allowed my first name. And for that matter, you think of me often?"

He let himself relax a bit. There was a comfort in knowing that the Princess of Hyrule was willing to flirt with him, even knowing what a wreck he was. He was able to pull from his stores of acting skills to play it cool, leaning against the railing a bit, stretching out. Reveling in her eyes taking a spin along him. It gave him a moment to swallow his nerves.

"Who hasn't thought of the Princess?"

"And who hasn't thought of Link Faron?"

"You?"

Zelda scoffed. "Oh, please! We've already accidentally established that you're my celebrity crush. How much more obvious could I get?"

"For what it's worth, Zelda, you've always been mine." He relished her name on his tongue, and couldn't stop himself from letting his knuckles graze against her skin as he pushed a piece of golden hair behind her ear, letting his hand linger and touch for far too long.

"I'm sorry," he said, stepping away. "I've taken up your private time with far too much self indulgence. I'll let you go."

"Wait!" she said, grabbing his hand. "I'm enjoying your presence, unlike all the donation seekers in there. Stay."

"Is that a command?"

For a moment, she considered, and a wry smile worked over her face as she watched him already inching back towards her. "Yes."

"Then how am I to disobey?"

~~~~~~~

Link hadn't even had time to register the light through his window when Midna threw herself onto him, whacking his arm excitedly.

He sprung up, looking around frantically. "What?!"

"You dog!"

"What?"

"Gods, you sleep in too often! Get up!"

He barely blinked in time to see her ponytail bobbing on her head, her sweatpants and sweatshirt hanging loosely over her. Exactly the opposite of the glamor she donned the night before.

Link grumbled, rolling out of bed in his boxers, rubbing at his eyes as he followed her to see what the fuss was about so he could roll back into bed.

"--and the Princess were seen getting extremely close last night. In exclusive footage, we can see 'The Twilight Realm' actor putting his skills to work on our future monarch, seducing her as much as she seemed to entrance him. Was it wine? Or do we have a new royal wedding to look forward to?"

The clip of him and Princess Zelda by the fire, him pushing her hair behind her hair, them laughing, even later in the evening when she'd grabbed his hand and he hadn't pulled away, and later when they'd moved to sit closer to the firepit and he'd given her his jacket. All of it aired.

"Oh, shit. They didn't get..."

He trailed off as the next clip was Zelda's tender goodbye kiss on his cheek hours later.

"Shit."

Midna watched him sit down, numb. "Link, can you call your girlfriend?"

His phone rang on cue. His agent.

Link toyed with the phone, his eyes on the screen watching the clip replay of her kiss. He could still feel the phantom tenderness of her lips on his cheek, hear the ring of her laugh, the lines of her discontentment on her forehead as they talked about their interests, their lives.

And he realized that, regardless of what he was about to hear, he regretted none of it.

[eenochian]

not to family-post on main…… so i’m putting it under a cut lol (it’s also just long af bc i needed to rant)

but, today is my father’s birthday. 53 years on this planet and he’s probably about to have the most miserable birthday of his life.

the dumbass cheated on his wife. three marriages and he’s managed to ruin every last one with cheating (amongst other things). no idea when she found out, but it was sometime after the 14th, at least. she’s already moved out of their house and is going to rent it to him since she owns it, apparently. i was woken up yesterday (it’s 8:08 am as of me posting this, i haven’t slept) with the news.

my father’s soon-to-be ex wife had my mom blocked throughout her entire relationship with my father. we knew he was feeding her some bullshit lies about my mom and what actually happened between them. he told his wife that my mom was turning my brother and i “against him” and making us hate his wife. meanwhile, my mom was practically begging my dad to introduce her to his wife, because she wanted to meet the woman who would be spending time around her children.

even before i was born, my father was just a disappointment… cheated on my mom while she was pregnant with my brother and claimed he was “feeling depressed and unwanted” whilst my mom was suffering from a cocktail of issues, was always unemployed or under-employed, cheated while she was pregnant with me, then couldn’t be assed to take care of his children while my mom was working and going to college full-time. she had to pay for daycare despite the asshole being unemployed.

she left him a couple weeks before i turned 4, i think. i don’t remember it very well cause i was so young, but i remember him yelling and punching the door she was standing in front of. broke his hand. she rightfully called him an idiot. my family laughs about it now, but i used to call him “my trince” – it was supposed to be “prince,” but i couldn’t say it properly y’know. my mom told me that he started crying because i looked at him and said “you’re not my trince anymore” lol. broke his heart, i guess.

the spring before i turned 6, my mom, brother, her boyfriend at the time, and i all moved from california to texas. my dad stayed in cali. my brother and i visited him for a week during the summer when i was 7, but that’s the only time we saw him until shortly before i turned 11.

we talked on the phone to keep in touch. i don’t remember how often we talked, i think weekly, but i do remember sprinting to the phone and feeling so giddy whenever he called… i just wanted to talk his ears off for hours, my father almost felt like a novelty throughout my childhood. i learned earlier this year that my mom often had to force him to call and talk to us.

i remember the day he moved out to texas. the beginning of my 6th grade year, i was about a month away from turning 11. my brother and i were talking to our mom, she said someone special was stopping by. the sun had already gone down, but it wasn’t too late in the night. we guessed our dad, she said we were wrong. she was lying, obviously, and we learned that after we got a knock on the door and my father was standing on the other side.

i remember crying. hugging him so tight. thinking that finally, finally i’d have my father in my life. instead of being a novelty, he’d just be there. he was living close by, too.

my mom’s then-boyfriend (the same one from when we moved) was horrible. he was an abusive, loud, mean, all-around ugly man. i had it the easiest since i was the youngest. i don’t remember much from him, just a lot of yelling. so, so, so much yelling. him standing over me, being the 6-foot 300-something pound guy he was, taking joy in making a little girl scared of him. he never put his hands on me, but the intimidation was enough.

i still can’t handle a man raising his voice or even getting angry around me. my stepdad knows about the trauma my mom, brother, and i share. my mom easily had it the worst. i still sometimes refuse to acknowledge that i have trauma, even after being told by my mom and brother that i do. the first time my stepdad got angry and raised his voice – he was trying to install a transition slip on crooked floors because my mom and i kept cutting our feet on the edge of the carpet, got frustrated, slammed his hammer down and yelled – i was standing in the kitchen a few feet away….. i left my breakfast in the microwave and pretty much ran to my room.

i didn’t know why i started crying and struggling to breathe while talking to my brother until my mom came in a few minutes later. it was the first time she said the words “you have trauma” to me. she told me the next day that my stepdad cried after they went to bed because he felt so awful over scaring me. we joke about it now, but it’s been 3 years and he still feels horrible whenever we talk about it. i feel bad that he feels bad. my mom says we’re both silly.

back to the main point, though…. my mom finally managed to kick that bastard out shortly after i turned 11. it was midnight on a school night. my brother ended up climbing into my bed because i was crying from listening to all the yelling. her ex tried coming into our bedroom after my mom came in to grab something of his that we had in our closet. i remember watching her fight to hold that door closed and keep him out as he tried to talk to us.

she called my dad to come guard our door while she finished packing up all his stuff and throwing it out. my dad managed to do a 20-minute drive in, like, 10 minutes. maybe less, i can’t remember, but it was fast. her ex tried picking a fight with my dad, things nearly got physical, but my dad stayed right in front of our door. he had work the next day, but he still rushed over to keep us safe.

he was in my life a decent amount after that. we’d spend weekends with him, i’d text him daily, he’d take me and my brother to the movies, out to dinner, we’d play games and sing our lungs out in the car together.

he also dated over 20 women in a single year. he introduced us to at least a quarter of them and insisted that every single one was “the one.” he’d ignore us for the sake of whatever woman he was with. then, he’d come crawling back once the relationship inevitably fell apart. he told my mom that he could pay child support or “have money to spend time with the kids” – meanwhile, he’s always made more money than her. he couldn’t put us on his health insurance because it was “too expensive,” meanwhile my mom was working two jobs (in secret, she never told us about the second job until after she lost it) and making herself sick just trying to take care of us.

when i was 14, he had to move back to california because of his work. i thought him crying while telling us was proof that he cared… until i found out that he wasn’t going to tell us at all. he told our mom, but didn’t want to tell my brother and i until he was about to move. my mom had to threaten to tell us herself if he didn’t do it.

he visited around christmas. he was engaged to a woman he barely knew who happened to live in the same state. my brother and i thought he was there to see us. turns out, all he wanted to do was see her. my mom had to force him to spend time with us. i didn’t know this until years later.

after that engagement fell through and he managed to move back to texas… he met his current wife. he was also living even closer, in the same fucking apartment complex as us. the happy feeling over him being so close didn’t last. his wife (then-girlfriend) was…. nice. we tried not to get attached because we thought it wouldn’t last, like usual. i think i was 15 or 16 at the time.

we ended up moving in with my stepdad, who lived about 45 minutes away. my dad ended up moving in with his wife. we lived an hour away from him, i think. we stopped seeing him as often because the problems only continued to grow. his wife only encouraged him and blindly took his side in everything, too.

about 2 weeks before my 18th birthday. my father took my brother and i to the movies. he brought up how close my birthday was and asked if we wanted to go out to dinner to celebrate. we said yes, of course. he asked if his wife could come, since they had just gotten married about a week ago. i said yes, of course. i didn’t mind sharing the celebration. i remember excitedly telling my mom about it the second we got home.

a couple days before my birthday, my father texts to confirm the plans…… suddenly, we aren’t celebrating my birthday. no, no, the dinner was to celebrate their marriage and my father’s new office, and it “just so happened” that my birthday was around the same time, so we were celebrating that, too. he denied it when we said the whole dinner was planned because of my birthday, even though my whole household remembered it being that way. i cancelled the plans.

my cat got really sick right after my birthday. it was just a stomach bug that she recovered from within a day after taking her to the vet and getting her rehydrated (plus some appetite stimulants), but we thought for a minute that it might be her time. it was the first time i had to face the thought of death. my father tried to make new plans and, when i told him that we didn’t want to leave her even though we knew she was okay, he didn’t care. zero empathy. we never made any plans after that.

i think i’ve only seen him once since that movie. august 2021. he stopped by to drop something off for my brother earlier this year, stayed for a few minutes to talk to us. we hugged, i cried after he left.

my phone’s been having issues for some months now. it can’t charge properly. my mom and stepdad bought me a wireless charger that fixed that issue, but when my brother and i messaged our father about getting new phones (since my bro was also having issues with his), my father decided to say no and accuse us of only coming to him for money.

mind you, paying for our phones and making sure we had working phones was literally the last promise he made to us. he never paid child support, so he and my mom worked out a deal. he pays her car insurance until she has a paid off car, he pays for my bro’s and my phones, she forgives the rest of the several thousand dollars he owes her. he took her car on the first say of my senior year of high school. he refuses to get us new phones unless we pay for it.

i’m aware of how spoiled i sound. my phone works just fine, even if it is slower and has a broken charging point. my issue isn’t with that… it’s just the fact that he’s managed to break every. single. promise. he’s ever made to us. not a single one has been kept. not one. my mom told him she’d take care of it and us, like she always has. he’s just paying for the insurance until we get new phones atp.

i sent him a message pouring my heart out. a lot of it was pent-up anger from years of trying and trying, giving him chance after chance, and getting zero results. he read the message and didn’t respond. a couple days later, i sent him another. i just felt defeated at that point. i begged and begged him to finally care, and what do i get in response?

“I understand what you’re saying. Things are not always as they seem. Maybe one day we can sit down and truly listen and understand each other but it won’t be in a text. I love you no matter what you might think or feel.”

right. yeah. “maybe one day” AKA “when i feel like dealing with this” which is never. i cry and beg him to change… and his response is to say that MAYBE one day we’ll deal with it. and he moved on. my first message was 1,623 words. my second was 784. and i got jack shit in return.

it doesn’t matter what i say or do. he’s destroyed my self-confidence. he’s the source of my insane abandonment and attachment issues. i’m convinced no man will ever love me because of him – if my own father can’t, then why would anyone else? i get so stressed out and worried that it makes me sick; my family thinks i have ulcers, and he’s the #1 trigger of them. i’ve had panic attacks over him. i’ve thrown up from it. my mom said my depression getting so much worse is probably linked to him.

and, despite all the bullshit…. i’m still staring at my phone debating on texting him happy birthday. wondering if i should reach out and console him over the marriage he destroyed. i don’t want him to be alone, even if it is his own doing. i’m terrified of something happening to him. what if he has a health issue or injury and needs someone to call 911? what if he’s depressed? what if it gets so bad that he kills himself? what if he keels over and dies tomorrow? what if, what if, what if… it’s all i can think about.

my family says me worrying over him despite it all just means i’m a good person. their primary concern if my father taking advantage of me – of my kindness and my concern for him. my brother has him blocked, he’s not giving our father any more chances. i know i shouldn’t. he’ll just throw me away once he finds another woman, which he probably already has, considering he cheated on his wife in the first place. he has that habit; messaging other women when he senses a relationship going south or gets bored. moving on before it’s even over so he doesn’t have to face loneliness.

i don’t know how to feel. my dad’s wife reached out to my mom to clear the air and apologize. my brother celebrated the split with his friends. my stepdad said it was deserved. i agree, but……. i just can’t stop worrying. about everything. i wish i could. my father doesn’t deserve the tears i’m still shedding, or the lump and bile building in my throat, or the tightness in my chest, or the space in my thoughts… i hate it. i don’t know what to do anymore.

[galaxietm]

so before i update the pinned list for muse bdays for october, here's a bit of an update on my situation that i've talked about little on here off and on, under a read more just to be safe!

but yes, what's talked about below is a big reason i haven't been here / as active lately.

so! i did it, i officially gave the eviction paper to one of my roommates who has been part of the issue. honestly, he's not as much of an issue as one of his gf's, but he's still a big reason why i've been feeling uncomfortable and unsafe. i'm hoping that the problem takes care of itself by the end of the month / the time stated on the paper. my lawyer's already given me a run down on the possibilities of what could happen if he's not out by that time as well.

here's as much of a tl;dr i can make for those who haven't seen some of the posts i've made: i've been having issues with some of my roommates, and it had gotten to the point where i was no longer feeling safe or comfortable around one of them (the one i gave the paper to) and, quite frankly, he was only part of the problem. there's more stuff that's built up, partially because of one of the others who will, hopefully, move out when he does.

i've been so so stressed about this situation that i'm pretty sure it's why i haven't been sleeping well for the last week (if not longer) and the day that my mom + i gave him the paper, i was awake for about 30-31 hours straight and i've been having a fluctuating appetite because of all of this. like?? today i woke up probably 4 times within the last two hours of when i was asleep (since i have an overnight shift at work tonight) and i've been switching between being able to fall asleep naturally and having to take melatonin to help. and, it's honestly, been wearing on me off and on. so hopefully i can get things to get slowly back to normal (at least as normal as it can be lol) soon.